preface to the first edition of the fourth part twelve years have elapsed since the period at which the third part of the narrative of the lord's dealings with me closes. it has not been for want of matter, that this fourth part has not appeared sooner; but the increased and ever increasing variety of other occupations has kept me hitherto from arranging the materials for the press. of late, however, i have judged, for the following reasons, that i ought particularly to give myself to this service. , it has pleased the lord so abundantly to bless the former parts of my narrative to the comfort, encouragement, strengthening, and instruction of those who are young and weak in the faith, and to those unacquainted with the simplicity of the truth, that i consider myself to be the servant of such; and i feel that responsibility is laid upon me, to do what further i can, in this way, to serve them. and this, i confess, i do joyfully; for my spirit has oft times been not a little refreshed during the eighteen years which have elapsed, since i published the first part of my narrative, by the many hundreds of letters i have received, giving an account of the blessing, which the writers of them have derived from the perusal of it; and i have thus been again and again encouraged to go on with the work. , i think it important, that the reader of the first three parts of my narrative should have a right impression of the work in which i am engaged. he may not be acquainted with the reports of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, which have been published since , and therefore he may know no more of the work in which i am especially engaged, than the first three parts of my narrative give him. in that case he would not know how the work has been growing since that period; he would not be aware, that it is now three or four times as large as it was in , and is still more and more increasing. he would not know in that case, that the principles of holy scripture on which the work of god in my hands was carried on, when comparatively small, and which then were found to be sufficient, even in these last days, are the same on which it is carried on now, though the work is now so large. this point has especially weighed with me, in desiring the publication of the continuation of the account of the lord's dealings with me in the form of the first three parts, in order that the living god may be glorified through this account. i judged, moreover, that, whilst the first three parts may especially furnish, to the believer in the lord jesus for his private life subjects for comforting and encouraging reflections; this part, besides doing the same still further, may especially be of help to the servant of christ labouring for god on a large scale, or to the man of god who seeks to carry on business on a large scale, on scriptural principles. , though the reports of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad have been issued generally every year or every two years; yet, as they are not bound together, they may be lost in part, and thus the chain be interrupted. moreover, they contain, sometimes, matters which may be of moment for the time being, but not so important afterwards. the narrative leaves out such points, and introduces on the other hand things which were scarcely suitable for the reports. my desire, therefore, has been to give in this fourth part the substance of the reports, which have been published since july , and to bring thus together in one volume what is contained in these nine different reports. , the reports give scarcely anything of the dealings of god with me personally, irrespective of the work in which i am engaged; but i have not only to speak well of the name of the lord with regard to his service, but also with reference to his dealings with me personally and with my family; and i desire to serve the saints in relating to them instance upon instance of his kindness to me, hoping that thus many others may be encouraged more and more fully, unreservedly and habitually to trust in god; yea, to do so in the darkest seasons. the plan on which i have thought it best to bring the materials before the reader is, to relate in distinct periodical chapters: a, how i have been provided, simply in answer to prayer, with means for the support of the various schools of the scriptural knowledge institution, for the circulation of the holy scriptures and gospel tracts and for the aiding of missionary work. b, how i have obtained means for the support of the hundreds of orphans under my care. c, how the lord has led me to, and provided me with means for, the building of a large orphan-house, and how i am now occupied in seeking to build a second still larger. d, to state, periodically, a variety of miscellaneous points in connexion with the operations of the scriptural knowledge institution, in a separate chapter. e, to give separately and periodically a chapter, for relating matters connected with my own personal affairs or the work of the lord in my hands, not immediately connected with the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. as, however, the whole book is intended for the spiritual profit of the believing reader, and to show to those who know not god, by his blessing, the reality of the things of god, there will be found interspersed, throughout the book, such practical remarks, as the subjects may seem to call for. george mÜller. , paul street, kingsdown, bristol, june , . a narrative, &c. &c. fourth part. supplies for the school�bible�missionary and tract-fund, sent in answer to prayer, from july , , to may , . aug. , . in the greatest need, when not one penny was in hand, i received l. from a brother at hackney. i took half of this sum for these objects, and half for the orphans. sept. . our poverty has been great ever since the accounts were closed on july th. our tract and bible stock is very small, and we have much reduced it on account of sending supplies to demerara. the rents for the school-rooms are becoming due, and other expenses are to be met. under these circumstances i received today with philip iv. , the sum of l. the donor writes that he thinks he is directed by the lord to send the money. how truly is it so! i took of this sum l. for the orphans, and l. for these objects. oct. . this evening i received a bank order for l., to be used as the lord might direct me. this money came in most seasonably, as i am thus able to pay to the six teachers who labour in the six day-schools, their salaries. i took l. of the l. for these objects, and l. for the orphans. dec. . the means for these objects have been very small for some time past. under these circumstances i received this afternoon from a sister in the lord, who is near the close of her earthly pilgrimage, a small box, containing five brooches, two rings set with twelve small brilliants, five other rings, one mourning ring, a pair of gilt bracelets, a gold pin, a small silver vinaigrette, some tracts, and a sovereign. the donor stated on a paper, contained in the box, that the produce might be used for the orphans or otherwise, as i might require. as these funds are in particular need, i took the contents of this little box for them, and the trinkets were soon disposed of.--the sister fell asleep very shortly after. will she need such ornaments before her lord? will she regret having given them for his work? oh! no. dec. . today i have received the following trinkets, the produce of which i was at liberty to use for the orphans, or my own personal necessities, or the printing of my narrative, or for the school�, bible�, missionary and tract fund. i have put the produce to the funds for these objects. a ring set with twelve small brilliants, a ring set with one brilliant, another ring set with one brilliant, a ring set with five brilliants, a paste ring, a large brooch, two large rings, two wedding rings, two other small rings, a ring set with small pearls, three other rings, two gold pins, four gold shirt studs, and a gilt pin. dec. . i have received still further the following trinkets, the produce of which was likewise taken for these objects, it being left to me to use them as most needed. a small gold chain, a ring set with seven brilliants, five gold seals, an eyeglass silver mounted, a ring set with a head, a gold pin, a gold buckle, a silver pencil case, a gold brooch, a brooch set with small pearls, a set of gold shirt studs, a small gold brooch, nine gold rings, a gold heart, a gilt chain, and a gilt watch-chain. jan. , . when there was nothing in hand towards our many necessities for these objects, i received today the following valuable donation:--three forty-franc pieces, two twenty-franc pieces, six five-franc pieces, seven two-franc pieces, eleven one-franc pieces, fourteen half-franc pieces, twenty-one quarter of a franc pieces, and fifty-two other small italian and french silver coins. feb. . today, when i had again nothing at all in hand, i received from w. p. l. apr. . when, once more, i had nothing in hand, i received today from yorkshire l., which, being left at my disposal, i used for these objects. apr. . today were sent to me a small old gold watch, a half sovereign, a half guinea piece, two twenty-franc pieces, six small turkish gold coins, a quarter of a franc, a threepenny piece, a silver toothpick, and a brass pencil-case. the produce of these articles likewise was put to these funds. may . from scarborough was sent to day l. for these funds, at a time when i had again nothing left. may . about six weeks ago intimation was kindly given by a brother that he expected a certain considerable sum of money, and that, if he obtained it, a certain portion of it should be given to the lord, so that l. of it should be used for the work in my hands, and the other part for brother craik's and my own personal expenses. however, day after day passed away, and the money did not come. i did not trust in this money, yet, as during all this time, with scarcely any exception, we were more or less needy, i thought again and again about this brother's promise; though i did not, by the grace of god, trust in the brother who had made it, but in the lord. thus week after week passed away, and the money did not come. now this morning it came to my mind, that such promises ought to be valued, in a certain sense, as nothing, i.e. that the mind ought never for a moment to be directed to them, but to the living god, and to the living god only. i saw that such promises ought not to be of the value of one farthing, so far as it regards thinking about them for help. i therefore asked the lord, when, as usual, i was praying with my beloved wife about the work in my hands, that he would be pleased to take this whole matter, about that promise, completely out of my mind, and to help me, not to value it in the least, yea, to treat it as if not worth one farthing, but to keep my eye directed only to himself. i was enabled to do so. we had not yet finished praying when i received the following letter: "beloved brother, may , . "are your bankers still messrs. stuckey and co. of bristol, and are their hankers still messrs. robarts and co. of london? please to instruct me on this; and if the case should be so, please to regard this as a letter of advice that l. are paid to messrs. robarts and co., for messrs. stuckey and co., for you. this sum apply as the lord may give you wisdom. i shall not send to robarts and co. until i hear from you. "ever affectionately yours, "* * * *" thus the lord rewarded at once this determination to endeavour not to look in the least to that promise from a brother, but only to himself. but this was not all. about two o'clock this afternoon i received from the brother, who had, more than forty days ago, made that promise, l. s., as he this day received the money, on the strength of which he had made that promise. of this sum l. are to be used for the work in my hands, and the remainder for brother craik's and my own personal expenses.--i took of these two sums, i.e. of the l. and the l., half for the orphans and half for these objects. when this money came in, there was only very little in hand. the last tracts had been given away, two or three days ago, but i had no money to order more: thus i was able to send off an order for , . bibles also needed to be ordered, but i had no money: i am now able to order some. it had been much on my heart to send a little help to some missionary brethren, as a token of affectionate interest, and this i am now able to do. the lord be praised for his goodness in helping thus so seasonably! from may , , to may , , we experienced no difficulty at all as to means, the lord having always seasonably sent in the supplies, so that, without any one exception, i was always able not only to meet all the demands connected with the day-schools, the sunday-school, and the adult-schools, but i was also able to do more, so far as it regards means, in aiding the circulation of tracts, and helping missionary efforts, than at any previous period of the same length. of the donations which came in from may , , to may , , i only mention the following:--on june , with philip. iv. , for circulation of tracts and bibles in foreign lands, or, as needed, l. oct. , l. on feb. , , i received l., of which l. was to be used for missionary work in foreign lands, and l. for brethren who labour in england, in the word and doctrine, without any stated salary. in connexion with this donation three points are particularly to be noticed:--i. the day before i received this sum, i had given l. to a brother, who was travelling through bristol, and who was on the point of going out as a missionary, without being connected with any society. when i gave him this l. i had but very little in hand, but i said to myself, the lord can easily give more. and thus it was. . before i received this donation, i had been especially led to ask the lord, that he would be pleased to condescend to use me more largely in helping missionary brethren. for this i had a still greater desire when i found that the money, which i had sent to british guiana, at the end of november, , amounted only to a few pounds for each brother who labours there, on account of there being so many. i had, on this account particularly, a desire to be able shortly to send another sum to british guiana, which was thus granted to me. . i had also, from time to time, sought, to help brethren, who labour in dependence on the lord for temporal supplies in various parts of england, and my desire especially had been, that, even in this particular, the funds of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad might be more extensively useful. and thus, in this particular also, this donation cheered my heart, enabling me to assist, in some measure, several faithful labourers. concerning this latter point i would especially notice, that whenever god has put it into my heart "to devise liberal things," he has not only blessed me in my own soul in doing so, but has also, more or less given me the means to carry out such a purpose. i mention further here, in connexion with this point, that henceforth, as god shall be pleased to supply me with means, i purpose particularly, in connexion with this work, to endeavour to assist brethren of good report, who labour in the word and doctrine, in the united kingdom of great britain and ireland, but who have no regular salary. if, therefore, any donations should be given henceforth for that particular object, they shall be, by god's help, applied to that; or, if no donations should be given for that particular object, yet, as god shall be pleased to intrust me with means, i purpose by his help, to have my eye particularly on brethren who preach the gospel without charge, and who, perhaps, besides, for conscience' sake, have relinquished former stipends or regular emoluments which they had in connexion with doing so. have we not particularly to strive to be fellow-labourers with those who, seeking not their own things, but the things of jesus christ, preach the word without being chargeable to any one? many whom i know and love in the truth, are mindful of this; but others may not, perhaps, have sufficiently weighed the matter. on march , , i asked the lord for still further supplies for missionary purposes, and while i was in prayer a letter came from c. w. with l. for missionary purposes. thus also, about the same time, came in, from the neighbourhood of ludlow, l., and from keswick l. for missions, besides other smaller donations for the same purpose. it must not be supposed that these are all the donations which i received for the carrying on these objects from july , , to may , ; but those which are referred to came in under remarkable circumstances, or, more manifestly, as answers to prayer. i now proceed to give an account of the lord's goodness in supplying me with means for the orphans, from july , , up to may , ; though here again only the most remarkable instances, on account of the great number of cases, can be given. supplies for the orphan fund, sent in answer to prayer, from july , , to may , . july , . the need of today for the orphans is l. s. as there came in yesterday l. as the profit of the sale of ladies' bags, which are made by a sister in the lord for the benefit of the orphans; also two donations of s. each, through her; s. from a poor sister in the lord; and l. from hackney, in all l. s.; we have l. s. left.-- in the course of today the lord was pleased to send in the following donations:--by the boxes in my house l. s., in nine small donations s. d., and the contents of an orphan-box, s. ½ d. this evening also two christian servants gave me the following trinkets:--a ring, a gold pin, two brooches, and a silver toothpick. a precious gift, because of its seasonableness, and because it gave me joy in seeing these ornaments given up for the lord's sake. observe, dear reader, only eleven day's after the accounts were closed, we were again in fresh poverty, and had to go on day by day waiting upon the lord for the necessities of about persons. july . only d. has come in today. july , saturday. july l. s. was in hand to begin the day with. with two of my fellow�labourers i besought the lord between nine and ten o'clock this morning for help, when, at eleven o'clock came in, by sale of articles, given for the purpose, s. d., by sale of reports s. by sale of ladies' bags s. d., and by two donations s. d. there were sent also anonymously, two coats, a pair of trousers, and three waistcoats (worn). when this parcel and money came, i was called on for money from the orphan-houses. in the course of the day came in still further, by sale of articles, s. thus we have been helped through this day. late in the evening was given s. d. besides. july . this morning, when there was now again only s. d. in hand, i received from tavistock l.; and this evening from nailsworth, s. d. july . yesterday was anonymously put into the chapel boxes l.; also by a. a. l. thus we are provided for today and tomorrow. there came in still further today l., from an orphan-box at barnstaple l., and by the profit of work, done by a sister, s. there was likewise given a little box, containing the following articles: a lady's bag, a pair of gloves, a silver fruit knife, a gold seal, a needle book with two farthings, a purse containing two-halfpence, ½ francs, and a copper coin; a little tortoiseshell box containing two old sixpences, two fourpenny pieces, a shilling, a sixpence, and a pebble; a silver vinaigrette, a seal, two patterns for worsted work, a microscope, and embossed cards. this evening i received two silver pencil cases. july . by the boxes in the orphan-houses came in today l. s. d., and by sale of reports s. july l. immediately after having risen from my knees today, to ask the lord for further supplies, i received s. by sale of stockings, knitted by the orphan boys. this evening was given to mc by a. a. l., and through ditto s. august . this morning i was called on for l. for the infant orphans, so that again only a few shillings remained, not enough for, the other expenses of today, when i received, in the bag sent for the money from the orphan houses, the following donations, l., and s. d., s. d., s. d., and s. d. likewise came in s., and i found s. d. in an orphan-box in my house. thus i had enough for today. aug. . the day began with ¾ d. in hand. a little before ten o'clock in the morning the letter-bag was brought from the orphan-houses for money, in which i found a note stating that the need of today was l. s., but i had only ¾ d. to send. i wrote so to brother r. b. master of the orphan boys, intending to request him (to send up again in the afternoon, for what the lord might have sent in the mean time. when i was going to put the ¾ d into the purse in the bag, i found half-a-crown in the bag, slipped into it before it was opened. this half-crown is a precious earnest that the lord will help this day also. it was found by me just after i had risen from my knees, having been with some of the labourers in the work in prayer for means. before i bad yet finished the note to brother b. b., a sovereign was given to me, so that i had l. s. ¾ d. to send off. about two o'clock this afternoon i received by sale of articles s. d., by sale of stockings s. d., and by the sale of ladies' bags s. d. thus i could send off the s. d. which was still needed for today, and had s. left. aug. , saturday. with the s. we began the day. my soul said: "i will now look out for the way in which the lord will deliver us this day again; for he will surely deliver. many saturdays, when we were in need, he helped us, and so he will do this day also."--between nine and ten o'clock this morning i gave myself to prayer for means, with three of my fellow-labourers, in my house. whilst we were in prayer, there was a knock at my room door, and i was informed that a gentleman had come to see me. when we had finished prayer, it was found to be a brother from tetbury, who hail brought from barnstaple l. s. d. for the orphans. thus we have l. s. d., with which i must return the letter-bag to the orphan-houses, looking to the lord for more. evening. in the afternoon one of the labourers received s. for himself, which he gave for the orphans. this evening i went to the usual prayer meeting, (which is held on saturday evening at the orphan-houses, to ask the lord's blessing upon the work generally), when i found that s. had been put into the boxes in the orphan houses in the course of the afternoon; also s. had come in by the knitting of the orphan-girls, and s. d. more one of the labourers was able to give. thus we hail l. s., which was enough for today. how very kind of the lord thus to listen to the prayers of his children, and to help us day by day!--we had not yet separated, after our prayer meeting, when a box was brought from scarborough, containing s. and a number of articles. when i came home i found that there had come in still further, by sale of articles given for the purpose, s. d., and by sale of stockings knitted by the orphans, s. d. thus the lord has greatly helped us today. aug. , monday. there came in from a. a. s., and anonymously was yesterday put into the chapel-boxes s. d., ditto s. d. aug. . without one single penny in my hands the day began. the post brought nothing, nor had i yet received anything, when ten minutes after ten this morning the letter bag was brought from the orphan-houses, for the supplies of today.--now see the lord's deliverance! in the bag i found a note from one of the labourers in the orphan�houses, enclosing two sovereigns, which she sent for the orphans, stating that it was part of a present which she had just received unexpectedly, for herself. �thus we are supplied for today. in the afternoon, when i had now again nothing at all in hand, as i had paid out this l., there was brought to me from oxford l. s. a sister also gave s. d. aug. . there came in, when there was not one penny in my hands, s. and s. d. i only found s. in the boxes in my house, s. was given as the profit of the sale of ladies' bags, and s. d. as the produce of "a forfeit-box at a young ladies' school." likewise were given to me, two gold rings, two gold watch-keys, a pair of earrings, a gold brooch, two waist-buckles, a pair of bracelets, a watch hook, and a broken brooch. thus we have a little towards the need of tomorrow. aug. . the money which came in yesterday was not enough for the need of today. the boxes in the orphan-houses were therefore opened, as i had understood that some money had been put into them during the last days, and they contained l. s. thus we have been supplied this day also. aug. . it is just now striking eleven o'clock, and i have not yet one single penny towards the need of this day. the bag is brought from the orphan-houses for money, but i have nothing to send, and am therefore obliged to return the bag without anything. but my soul is waiting for help. the lord has so repeatedly helped as again during the last weeks, and so he will surely do this day also. evening. at half-past twelve this morning i received two notes from two sisters who labour in the orphan-houses, the one from the sister who, on the th, had sent the l., being part of a present which she had received, and who now sent l. more. she writes: "the enclosed i thought of applying to another purpose; but his thoughts are not as ours. please to use it as you think fit." the other sister, likewise one of the labourers, sent s. this l. s. met our need for today. aug. , saturday. only d., which had come in yesterday afternoon, by sale of a report, was in my hands, when the day began. a little after nine o'clock i received a post-office order for l. from hackney, to be used as most needed. of it i took one half for the orphans, and the other half for the day schools. there came in still further, l. s., s. d., d., and s. d. aug. . yesterday i received from a sister s., with james i. ., s. d., d. was put into the boxes at my house, and d. was given by an aged friend. thus, with what was left on saturday, we had l. s. d., which met our need today. aug. . nothing has come in, but one of the labourers, to whom s. was given last evening to buy herself a new gown, gave that. i am looking for more! the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, in which s. was found. thus we had enough, except s., which one of the labourers gave. aug. . nothing at all had come in, when the bag was brought from the orphan-houses for money, and i had therefore to return it without any. about half an hour after, the labourers had an especial prayer meeting. at this meeting one of the teachers of the day-schools gave me s., which he had put by to buy himself some little books, but he considered it now not to be the lord's will to do so, but that he should give this money for the present need in the orphan-houses. another of the labourers in the orphan-houses gave s. thus we are provided with the absolute necessaries till tomorrow after breakfast. aug. . last evening i received s., just after our last public meeting about the orphan-houses and other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, at which i had testified afresh of my reliance upon the living god, though i had not then one single penny in hand for the work, which, of course, was not stated.--now this morning, between eight and nine o'clock sister l. m. came to me and brought me s., which she had received for the orphans. but this will not be enough for today. yesterday and this morning, before this money came in, the trial of faith had been very sharp.--evening. at eleven o'clock i received still further from a. a. s., and this afternoon, from one of the labourers, s., and from two donors d. each. aug. . our poverty is extremely great. the trial of faith as sharp as ever, or sharper. it is ten o'clock, and there are no means yet for a dinner. i now thought of some articles which i might be able to do without, to dispose of them for the benefit of the orphans, when one of the labourers gave me l., which she had intended for another object, and which she now considers must be left alone for the present. there was also taken out of the boxes in the orphan-houses s. d., and by knitting came in s. d., and from a. a. s. aug. , saturday. the lord has, in tender mercy, helped us, in sending in l. for knitting done by the orphan girls, s. d. for stockings knitted by the boys, s. d. for things sold, which were given for the purpose, and s. d. put into the boxes at the orphan-houses. aug. . there was put anonymously into the chapel-boxes s., ditto s., ditto s. d., and a. a. gave s. aug. , monday. only s. has come in today. aug. . this s. was all there was in hand for this day, which was needed at the boys' orphan-house towards the dinner. in the other houses nothing was needed, but at the same time nothing was left towards the next meal. two o'clock came, and we had nothing yet. after two o'clock i opened the boxes in my house, in which i found a paper containing a sovereign and a half, and half-crowns loose. of this i took s. at once to the orphan-houses, whereby we were helped for this day. our need had not been greater for a long time. dear reader, join me in admiring and adoring him, who caused that money to be put into the box, and, i have reason to believe, only a very short time before, and who led my mind to open it, to obtain thus the help which was needed. � in the afternoon came in still further l. s. by the sale of some old silver and a few trinkets. aug. l. there came in, by sale of reports, s., and from tewkesbury l. this sovereign came in the greatest need. i took it at once to the orphan-houses, and by it we were supplied for the day. when i returned home i found that a little old gold watch had been given in the mean time. there came in also s.; and two half-sovereigns were given this evening by two little girls, through a sister in the lord from bath. aug. . the two half-sovereigns, which were given last evening, were all we had at the beginning of today. there was found in the boxes in the orphan-houses s. d., and in a post-office order i received l. so we had enough for one more day.--and it is by the day i live. were i to think of how it will be a year or even a month hence, i should be tried indeed�yea, greatly tried. "sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof," is my lord's own precious warrant for this. he will not have me to be anxious about tomorrow, and therefore i cast my cares about tomorrow upon him. as the weeks pass on, and i go on saturday evenings to the prayer meetings at the orphan-houses, i praise the lord for having sustained me one more week in this service, by enabling me to look to him. yea, as each day closes, i desire to be grateful to the lord for having sustained my faith and patience, and enabled me to rely upon him, especially in seasons of such great poverty, lasting for weeks, as we have been in of late. but this i must say to the praise of the lord, that my soul is kept in peace at such times, and, through the riches of his grace, i am kept from questioning whether he will help me or not. and, indeed, it would be sinful ingratitude, after all the lord has been doing for me in this work, not to rely upon him. may he in mercy uphold me to the end in this service, and keep me from dishonouring his holy name, either by unbelief, or in any other way. aug. . this morning the lord greatly refreshed my spirit; for after a long-continued trial of faith, and after long and deep poverty, there was sent me from devonshire a check for l. there came in s. besides. aug. . l. s. ¼ d. came in today. aug. . from a. a. i received today l. how exceedingly kind of the lord, in an hour of such great need, on account of all the many and great wants in which i find myself just now, to have sent this sum! there came in l. s. d. besides. aug. . received for reports l. s., and d. besides. aug. . altogether l. s. d. came in today. aug. . received s. d. by sale of reports, and s. d. from bath. the brother in bath, who sent me this money, wrote me that the s. d. was sent to him with the following letter. th august, . "sir, "part of the enclosed s. d. did belong to your dear father, j. l., esq., value of which i stole from him in my unconverted state.--i, now a believer in jesus, constrained by love to him, return it to you with interest, praying that the lord may richly bless you and yours. "* * * *." j. l., esq. has been dead more than fifteen years, therefore it must be longer than that period since the theft alluded to was committed.-- this s. d. came in in especially great need; for though l. had been given during the last seven days, yet on account of our long-continued poverty, and the heavy expenses which were to be met, this s. d. was received when there was nothing at all in hand, and was sent off at once to the orphan-houses.--this evening, when we were still in great need, and when means were required for tomorrow morning, s. was given to me. this money was sent off this evening to the orphan-houses, for the need of tomorrow morning. about nine o'clock a sister came to my house, who had been to shirehampton, and had there received l. s. d. for the orphans. she gave also the remaining d. of the change of two sovereigns. the lord inclined the heart of this sister to bring the money at once, and we are thus supplied for tomorrow. at half-past nine this evening i received another precious donation of s., with the following letter:-- "aug. , . "the history of this money is this. i did some work in the country some time ago, and thought i should never get the money for it, as i had repeatedly written about it, and could not get it. but some time ago i was asking the lord to incline the heart of the person who owed me the money, to send it to me, and i told him, that, if he would do so, i would give s. for the orphans. three days ago i had such confidence, that i should have the money, that i was enabled to praise the lord for it; and today i was going up park street, and met the person coming with the money. it had been put into the party's heart the day before yesterday to pay me the money. now, dear brother, i fulfil my promise to the lord by giving you the money. help me, dear brother, to praise him for it, and that i may be enabled to trust him more than ever i have done yet. "yours in jesus, "* * *" this brother is a poor tradesman, himself working with his hands. aug. . today s. d. came in by sale of reports. this evening i met a sister from bath, who is staying in bristol for two or three days. she gave me her purse, and all that was in it, for the orphans, being s., saying, she wanted nothing till she returned to bath. this goes towards tomorrow's need, which will be at least l., and for which we have as yet only l. s. in hand. aug. , saturday. there came in a few shillings besides, last evening and this morning, so that i had l. s. d. to send to the orphan-houses; but i find l. s. is needed.--evening. there came in still further, in the morning, s. d., by sale of stockings, l. s. by sale of reports, s. d. by sale of articles given for the purpose, s. d. by sale of ladies' bags. and in the evening was received l. s. d. besides, so that i had l. s. d. more than was actually needed. sept. , tuesday. since saturday evening there has come in, in donations s. d., by sale of reports l. s. d., and by work done by the orphan-girls l. s. d. thus, with what was left on saturday, we have been supplied these two days. sept. . only one farthing was in my hands this morning. pause a moment, dear reader! only one farthing in hand when the day commenced. think of this, and think of nearly persons to be provided for. you, poor brethren, who have six or eight children and small wages, think of this; and you, my brethren, who do not belong to the working classes, but have, as it is called, very limited means, think of this! may you not do, what we do, under your trials? does the lord love you less than he loves us? does he not love all his children with no less love than that, with which he loves his only begotten son, according to john xvii. � ? or are we better than you? nay, are we not in ourselves poor miserable sinners as you are; and have any of the children of god any claim upon god, on account of their own worthiness? is not that, which alone can make us worthy to receive anything from our heavenly father, the righteousness of the lord jesus, which is imputed to those who believe in him? therefore, dear reader, as we pray in our every need, of whatever character it may be, in connexion with this work, to our father in heaven for help, and as he does help us, so is he willing to help all his children who put their trust in him. especially do not think, that because you may not be called by god to establish orphan-houses and schools for poor children, therefore you are not warranted to rely upon god, in all your need; for the blessedness of depending upon the living god may be enjoyed by all the children of god, though they are not all called by him to such a work as this narrative describes. nor must you suppose, that our only trials in this work arise from want of means, so that, in carrying it on, we have to rely upon god for nothing besides this. i assure you that the want of means is the smallest trial, and that i have had far, far greater exercises of faith on account of other things in connexion with this work than those arising from the want of means. but the trials connected with the want of means i dwell upon so particularly, because that is a matter which can be understood by all, and in which the senses themselves almost force us, so to speak, to acknowledge the hand of god.--well, let us hear then, how god helped when there was only one farthing left in my hands, on the morning of sept. , . a little after nine o'clock i received a sovereign from a sister in the lord, who does not wish the name of the place, where she resides, mentioned. between ten and eleven o'clock the bag was sent from the orphan-houses, in which in a note it was stated that l. s. was required for today. scarcely had i read this, when a fly stopped before my house, and a gentleman, mr. �� from the neighbourhood of manchester, was announced. i found that he was a believer, who had come on business to bristol. he had heard about the orphan-houses, and expressed his surprise, that without any regular system of collection, and without personal application to any one, simply by faith and prayer, i obtained l. and more yearly for the work of the lord in my hands. this brother, whom i had never seen before, and whose name i did not even know before he came, gave me l., as an exemplification of what i had stated to him.--there came in still further this morning s., being profits froth the sale of ladies' bags. from the same donor who had sent the sovereign this morning, i received, two hours later, a box containing the following articles:--three mourning rings, three other gold rings set with cameos, two gold watch keys, four gold lockets, a gold brooch, a silver snuffbox, six medals, three gold ear-drops, a pair of mourning earrings, a purse, two pairs of babies' shoes, a pair of card-racks, two necklaces, five ornamental hair pins, a wafer-stamp, a paper-knife, two book marks, and a great variety of polished pebbles.�oh! how good is the lord, and how seasonably comes his help, in our great, great need, when so much is required for clothes, &c. there came in likewise through a sister in bath l., and s. d. more. thus, besides all the articles, which have been mentioned, altogether l. s. d. has come in this day, at the commencement of which i had only one farthing left. sept. . besides the money, spoken of on the th, only s. d. more had come in, so that, after this day's necessities had been met, there was now again nothing at all in hand. soon after i received s. d. this also was presently spent, except d., when a brother from essex came, who gave me l. sept. , saturday. having had to pay out s. more, immediately after the receipt of the l., this day began with l. s. d. in hand, whilst the need was l. s. this l. s. d. i sent off to the orphan-houses, trusting in the lord for more. and this time also my hope in god was not put to shame; for in the course of the morning came in s. d. by sale of reports, by a donation s., by sale of articles l. s. ½ d., by sale of stockings s. d., and by sale of ladies' bags s. it was very kind of the lord to send in this money in the course of the morning, thus providing us not only with the l. s. which was needed for housekeeping, but enabling us also to meet other unexpected expenses. in the evening i received still further, after the need of the day had been met, but when all again was expended, a sovereign, four small old silver coins, a pair of coral earrings, and a brooch. sept. there was the sovereign in hand which came in last evening, as a little towards the need of monday, when i received this morning l., to be used as most needed. it is impossible to express how seasonably this help came, as, though our daily wants had been met day by day, yet very much is required in the way of clothes, &c. but as the need for the other objects is as great or greater, i took of this sum l. for them and l. for the orphans. we are thus greatly encouraged to continue in prayer. our poverty has scarcely ever lasted longer than now, yet the lord has helped us as our absolute need has required it. the donor of this l. wished me to enter it with the text philip iv. , judging that this text must have been often a refreshment to me in seasons of trial, as indeed it has. from sept. th to th came in l. s. ½ d. sept. . from a. a. l., by sale of reports, s. d., and by the boxes in the orphan-houses s. d. sept. . this morning came in l. from scotland. by this l., and what came in yesterday, i am able to meet the expenses of today, which were more than l. sept. , saturday. yesterday came in from clapham, at an hour of need, l. s. d., together with several articles, also l. from clifton; and today by sale of reports, l. s. d., and by sale of articles s. d. thus we are brought to the close of another week, though the expenses of it have not been less than l. (part of which had been put by beforehand). at the close of the week i have not more than s. left but the lord will provide. sept. . lord's-day morning. this morning i received from the neighbourhood of crediton l., and from sidmouth l., of which l. is for the orphans, and l. for my own personal expenses. likewise from a. a. s. ½d., for reports s., and in the chapel boxes was put anonymously d., ditto s. d. ditto s. d., ditto d. with these words: "be still and know that i am god." how precious this word, and how have i seen today again the truth of it!--three days ago a sister in the lord, who is a servant, came to me, and brought me l. s. which she had drawn out of the savings' bank, considering it the lord's will that she should not keep it there any longer, but spend it for him. she gave me the money that i might do with it as i thought right. however, i sent her home again with the money, advising her to weigh the matter still further, and to pray still further about it, and to count the cost; and if she was of the same mind, after some days, to come again to me. now this afternoon this sister came again, with her little all, l. s. as she had now, for a long time, weighed the matter (according to her own statement), and as there had three days more passed away since i had sent her home again with the money, and as i found her grounded upon scripture for what she was going to do, i could not refuse the money. see portioned it out thus: l. for her father, brother, and sister, l. s. for the poor believers in fellowship with us, l. for the chapel expenses, and l. for missionary purposes. this left l. s., of which she would give me l. which i declined, in order that there might not be even the appearance as if i had persuaded this poor servant to draw her money out of the savings' bank. she then wished me to give brother craik l., which i accepted for him, and as i saw she wept, because i would not receive anything for myself, i said i would take a sovereign. this i did, that she might not think i refused her christian kindness because she was a poor servant. the remaining l. s. she gave for the orphans. �by the donations which have come in today i am able to meet almost all the expenses connected with the procuring of many articles of clothing and furniture, for which i have long been praying. oct. . since the nd many pounds have come in, though not any sums above l. now this evening i have received a bank order for l., to be used as the lord might direct me. the donor wishes me to let him know if anything particular should be connected with this donation. there is indeed much connected with it, as it comes most manifestly in answer to prayer; for thus i am able to supply all that is needed in the way of articles of clothes for the orphans, for which i have been long waiting upon the lord, and as the winter is now drawing near, the winter-clothes need to be got ready; further, i am able to have the boys' orphan-house painted inside and coloured down, which is much needed; i am able to furnish all the labourers in the orphan-houses with some money for themselves, which, on account of our long-continued poverty, i had not been able to do for six months. yet; though the donation comes in so seasonably, i cannot write to the kind donor thus, lest he should be induced to give more, by my exposing our circumstances, and lest also the hand of god should not be so manifest, in providing me with means for the work, as otherwise it would. �i took of this money l. for the orphans, and l. for the other funds.--during the last two weeks i have had to pay out for the work about l., and this week i shall have to pay out again about l. thus the lord helps continually. nov. . since oct. st there has come in such an abundance, that without any difficulty i have been able to meet all the expenses for the orphans, though during the week ending oct. th i had to pay out l., during the week ending on the th above l., during the week ending on the th nearly l., and during the week ending on the th about l. of the many donations which came in during this period i will only mention the following: from a small town in the kingdom of wirtemburg s. d.; from nice, in france, l.; from a missionary in the east indies l. s. d. notice, dear reader, how the lord sends donations from wirtemburg, france, and the east indies! great, however, as our income had been, we were now again poor, on account of the heavy expenses, when, in answer to prayer, there came in today, from some sisters near coleford, l. , by sale of reports s., and from a. a. l. s. ½ d. the post was out this morning and nothing had come; but my heart said, the lord still can send, though the post is out; and these donations were soon after given to me. nov. . from nov. st up to this day we went on easily. there came in again many donations. now, however, we were again very poor, having had again very heavy expenses. in this great need a ten pound note was this afternoon put into an orphan-box in my house. this evening i received also still further, from a brother who labours in demerara, l., and l. s. besides. nov. . yesterday and today came in again more than l. our expenses having again been very great, as during these three days above l. had been paid out for the orphans, we were still poor, notwithstanding the considerable income during the last three days. under these circumstances a ring was given to me this afternoon, set with one large and six small brilliants. how kind of the lord, thus to help us continually in the work, and to listen to our supplications, which, day after day, we bring to him! daring no time, since i have been engaged in this service, have the expenses been heavier than during the last four months; yet the lord has always given us what we have needed. nov. . the produce of the ring, together with about l, more, which had come in since the th, was nearly all gone again, on account of the expenses of the past week having been nearly l., when this morning a christian gentleman from devonshire called on me, who, on leaving, left a letter on my table, containing two five pound notes, of which five pounds was for the orphans and five pounds for three other objects. this evening i found a five pound note in one of the orphan-boxes in my house. thus we are again helped for the present. the name of the lord be praised! nov. . the need of today was l. s., but there were only a few shillings in hand. i opened the boxes in my house, in which found a sovereign and a shilling. the sovereign could have been put in only last evening. after family prayer i retired again for prayer, about the work as i do daily, by which means i have been helped not only to meet the very heavy expenses since july th, but have been helped through many and great difficulties in other respects, and have been enabled to bring many blessings upon the work. while in prayer, i received a letter from the neighbourhood of leeds, with l. thus we are helped for today. this afternoon came in still further, by sale of articles l. s., by the boxes in the orphan-houses l. s. ½ d.; and this evening i received l., being the profits from the sale of a hymn book, which has been printed for the benefit of the orphans. thus we have something for the need of tomorrow also. nov. . as yesterday's expenses had to be met out of what had come in on the st, only s. d. having come in yesterday, and as the need of today for housekeeping was l. s., we had not enough in hand. our precious universal remedy, prayer, was now again resorted to. about ten minutes after, i received a post-office order from stafford for l. about twelve o'clock this morning came in still further, by the sale of some books and prints, given for the purpose, l. s., by the sale of other articles l. s. d., by the sale of reports s. d., by the sale of ladies' bags s. d., and by the sale of stockings s. d. this afternoon came in still further from glasgow l. thus the day, which commenced when we had not enough in hand for its necessities, has ended in comparative abundance, though there is still little in hand for present use, as we need to provide for the rent of the houses and for the purchase of oatmeal, and therefore put by a part of the money given today. yet we are brought to the close of another week, having been able to meet all its expenses. nov. . this morning i received a letter from the neighbourhood of dublin, with four five pound post-office orders. thus the lord has done according to my expectation; for in our usual weekly prayer meeting last evening at the orphan-houses with the labourers in the work, i was enabled to praise the lord, that he would provide for the need of this week also. dec. , monday. during the last week the income had been again about l. but having had still many extra expenses, and, also to put by money for the rents due on the next quarter-day, there was nothing left at the close of the week. yesterday came in s. d., d., s., s. d., and l. by this money we were able to meet the housekeeping expenses of this day, being only l. s.; but, having l. to pay out, besides the current expenses, and having understood that a brother in the lord from birmingham, with two other strangers, had visited the orphan-houses, and that money had been put into the boxes, they were opened, and l. s. d. was found in them. thus i was able to send off the l. there came in also this afternoon s. for work done by a young lady, and this evening, by sale of reports, s. dec. . as only l. s. was required for housekeeping today, we had enough, by what had come in yesterday afternoon and evening, and i had twopence left. dec. . the lord has again, in the love and compassion of his fatherly heart, multiplied "the handful of meal in the barrel, and the little oil in the cruse." the twopence have been multiplied more than a thousand fold. yesterday came in from clapton s. d., from the county of dorset l., and from a. a. s., being (as the donor writes) "the produce of a needless article of jewelery." dec. , saturday. only l. s. d. having come in during the last two days (among which was a remarkable donation of s. from calv, in the kingdom of wirtemberg), i had again, after i had paid out yesterday what was required, only l. s. d. left, which i knew would not be half enough for this day. yesterday afternoon came in from sherborne s. this morning i had an unusually full assurance that the lord would help us this day again, though i knew that more than l. would be needed today, towards which there was only l. s. d. in hand. i praised the lord repeatedly this morning beforehand for the help which he again would grant this day. by the first delivery arrived s. from the neighborhood of kingsbridge. thus we had l. s. d.; but for housekeeping we needed l. s., and for other expenses l. s. d. however, when the orphan came with the letter-bag, to fetch the money, i received in it a letter from bath, containing l. thus we had enough, and more than enough, for the momentary need, as to the house-keeping expenses. about twelve o'clock came in the following sums besides: by sale of articles l. s. d., by sale of reports d., by sale of stockings s. d., by sale of ladies' bags s. d. this evening came in still further, from dublin, for reports l. s., and l. as a donation, together with some prints, some books, etc. for sale. thus we had all we needed, to help us to the close of the week, and were able to put by some money for the weekly rents and other expenses, to be met on quarter day. dec. , monday. though we had been helped abundantly on saturday, yet, as some money needed to be put by, we had still nothing for the beginning of this week. yesterday came in for reports s. d., and anonymously was put into the chapel-boxes s. and s. d. there was also anonymously put into the chapel-boxes a l. note, with these words: " l. for the orphan-houses, and l. for clothing and blankets for the poor." thus we are again most seasonably helped, and are now almost entirely prepared to meet all the expenses coming upon us a few weeks hence. jan. , saturday. since dec. th we had always supplies sent, before the last money was given out; it was a season of rich abundance, for there came in (including the l. last mentioned) about l. now, however, this evening, after all the expenses of the day had been met, there was nothing remaining. but admire with me, dear reader, the goodness of the lord! this very evening he has again kindly supplied us with means for the commencement of another week. the boxes at the orphan-houses were opened (our need leading us to do so) in winch was found l. s., one of them containing a ten pound note. is it not, dear reader, a precious thing to trust in the lord? are not ten pounds, thus received out of the hands of our heavenly father, as the result of faith in god, most precious? will not you also seek to trust in him, and depend on him alone in all your everyday's concerns, and in all spiritual matters too? if you have not done so, do make but trial of the preciousness of this way, and you will see how pleasant and sweet it is; and if you have done so in a measure, do so yet more and more, and you will never have cause to regret it. but, perhaps, you are not a believer; if so, you cannot trust in god, and go in all circumstances to him, as to your father, except you are first reconciled to him through our lord jesus. what you have then to do is, to learn that you are a lost, ruined, guilty sinner, deserving nothing but punishment. but, at the same time, you have to remember that god, in the greatness of his love to sinners, sent his own dear son, that he, in their room and stead, might bear the punishment due to them, make an atonement for their sins, and fulfil the law of god in their stead, in order that every one, who believes on him, might obtain the forgiveness of his sins, and be reckoned righteous before god. if you believe in the lord jesus, i.e., if you receive him as the one whom god has declared him to be, even the son of god (as to his person), and the lamb of god that takes away the sin of the world (as to his work), and if you rest upon him, trust in him for the salvation of your soul, then all your sins shall be forgiven. though you have grown old in sin, though your sins have been very many and very grievous, yet the blood of jesus christ cleanseth from all sin. do but believe, and you shall be saved. and when thus you are reconciled to god, through faith in his dear son, walk before him as an obedient child, seek in child-like simplicity to go to god for every thing, and do really treat god as your father. there arrived also this saturday evening, from the isle of wight, a small box, containing s. and many articles for sale. jan. , monday. l. s, has come in besides the l. s., which came in on saturday evening; but as, in addition to the ordinary house-keeping expenses, i had this afternoon to order material for boys' clothes, all the money which had come in since saturday evening was now again gone. about an hour afterwards i found that two five-pound notes had been put into one of the boxes at my house, and at the same time i received a bank order for l. from a poor missionary brother, who labours about , miles from bristol~ in dependence upon the lord for his temporal supplies. of this l. the sum of l. is to be employed in sending him bibles and new testaments, and l. he gives to the orphans. what ways has not the lord to help his children who trust in him! who would suppose that a poor missionary would send l. for the orphans, from a distance of , miles? but rather must the ravens again bring supplies, as in the days of elijah, than that the children of god, who trust in their heavenly father, should not have their need supplied. �thus the lord has again given l. for the orphans, when all was gone. jan. , saturday evening. we have been helped through the heavy expenses of this week, without lacking any thing; but now we have nothing left.--this evening, about ten o'clock, i received from barnstaple some articles for sale, and a spanish dollar, two ¼ of a franc, and a sixpence; also l. and l. also sixpence for reports. jan. , monday. yesterday i received from f. e. b. s. d., from "friends to the institution" l.; and s. d. was put into the chapel-boxes anonymously, ditto s., ditto s. d. thus, by what came in on saturday evening and yesterday, i am able to meet this day's demands, being l. s. d.--evening. this afternoon i received from camerton l., of which l. is for the circulation of the holy scriptures, and l. for the orphans. thus, as the money goes out, the lord kindly sends in supplies, and all without speaking to one human being about our necessities, but making them known to him only; yea, determined, by his help and support, rather to endure many trials, in order that through our difficulties the church of christ at large may be comforted, and those who are weak in faith be strengthened, than to go away from the door of our heavenly father to that of brethren. feb. , saturday. we are brought to the close of another week, and have been supplied with all we needed; but there is now again nothing left. feb. . when now again there was nothing left last evening in my hands for the beginning of the coming week, there have been today, by two different donors, two five-pound notes put into the chapel-boxes, ditto s. d., ditto s. d., and also s. d. was given besides. thus we are again supplied fur the present. o lord, fill my--heart with lively gratitude for all thy goodness! lord help me, not only to trust in thee more and more, but also to love thee more and more, seeing that thou dost condescend to use such a poor sinful servant! feb. , saturday evening. above l. has come in during this week; but as there have been bought eight hundred weight of rice and eight bushels of peas, besides meeting the regular housekeeping expenses, again only a few shillings remain. feb. , monday. yesterday l. was sent to me, from a physician residing in bristol; anonymously was put into the boxes at bethesda chapel s., ditto l., and ditto s. d. also by a. a. was given to me s. d. i was thus able, with the few shillings that were left on saturday evening, to meet the expenses of this day, after which s. d. remained. this morning i was kept, through pressure of engagements, from having prayer, on account of the work, at the usual time; but at half-past two i united with my beloved wife and her sister in prayer, and i asked the lord, among other blessings, also for means. as to the latter, we had answer upon answer before the close of the day. for this afternoon l. s. d. arrived from stirling. this afternoon also five sovereigns were put into the box in my room, which i happened to find out soon after. i received also this evening s., which had yesterday been anonymously put into the boxes at salem chapel. a poor brother likewise gave me s. still further came in s. d. feb. . this morning i received still further a donation of l. this afternoon i received, as the profit of the sale of ladies' bags, l., and l. s. d. came in by sale of articles. feb. . after i had sent off this morning the money which was required for the housekeeping of today, i had again only s. ½ d. left, being only about one-fourth as much as is generally needed for one day, merely for housekeeping, so that there was now again a fresh call for trusting in the lord. in the morning i met again, as usual, with my dear wife and her sister, for prayer, to ask the lord for many blessings, in connexion with this work, and for means also. about one hour after, i received a letter from devonshire, containing an order for l., of which l. was for the orphans, l. for a poor brother in bristol, and l. for myself.--besides having thus a fresh proof of the willingness of our heavenly father to answer our requests on behalf of the orphans, there is this, moreover, to be noticed. for many months past the necessities of the poor saints among us have been particularly laid upon my heart. the word of our lord: "ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good," has again and again stirred me up to prayer on their behalf, and thus it was again in particular this morning. it was the coldest morning we have had the whole winter. in my morning walk for prayer and meditation i thought how well i was supplied with coals, nourishing food, and warm clothing, and how many of the dear children of god might be in need; and i lifted up my heart to god to give me more means for myself, that i might be able, by actions, to show more abundant sympathy with the poor believers in their need; and it was but three hours after when i received this l. for myself. �this evening was left at the infant orphan-house an anonymous letter, containing a sovereign for the orphans, with the letters c. t. d. feb. , saturday evening. l. s. d. has come in since the th. all the wants of this week have been richly supplied, but now there was again scarcely anything left towards the coming week, when this evening, just before i was going to our usual saturday evening prayer meeting at the orphan-houses, a bank post bill for l. came to hand, being the gift of an aged clergyman. thus we have a little for the next week, and we have also been able to order two hundred weight of soap, which it was very desirable to have, in order that there might be no need of using new soap for washing. feb. . today the lord has given still more. anonymously were put into the chapel-boxes the following sums: a twenty-pound note, a sovereign, s. d., and s. there was given also by a. a. s. d., and a lady from nottingham sent s. it was particularly kind of the lord to send in this rich supply, because soon again a ton and a half of oatmeal will need to be ordered from scotland, the rents need to be provided for, and i desire soon to be able to give again some money to the labourers in the orphan-houses for their own personal necessities. march , besides the l. s. d. that had come in on the th and th of feb., there came in up to this day l. s. d., so that there was not any difficulty to meet all the demands. after i had met the expenses for housekeeping yesterday, all our means were again gone, and there was therefore nothing in hand towards the expenses of today. but the lord helped us again; for two five-pound notes were found in one of the boxes at my house, whereby i am able to meet the need of this day, which is l. dear reader! does your heart admire the hand of god in these instances? does your heart praise the lord for his goodness to us? does it, or does it not? if not, then i beseech you to lay aside this account of his dealings with us, and fall on your knees, and ask god to have mercy upon you, and to soften your heart, that you may be sensible of his goodness to us. surely if you can read this account of his goodness, and it makes no impression upon you, it is a sign that your heart is not in a right state before god. i do not expect that all the readers will, as much as i do, by the grace of god, see the hand of god in all these matters, though i could wish that they did so, even a thousand times more than i do; but yet all should adore god for his great goodness to us, and should remember that what he does for us, in answering our poor sin-mixed petitions, for the sake of his dear son, he is willing to do for them also.--particularly notice, that the help never comes too late. we may be poor, yea, very poor; yet the help comes at the right time. we may have to wait upon the lord, yea, even a long time; but at last he helps. it may seem as if the lord had forgotten us, by allowing us to be poor, and very poor, and that week after week; but at last he helps abundantly, and shows that only for the trial of our faith, both for our own benefit and the benefit of those who might hear of his dealings with us, has he allowed us to call so long upon him. �by the grace of god my heart is not troubled now, whether there be much or little in hand. i am sure, that, in the best time and way, god will send help; and thus it is not only with reference to temporal supplies, but also as it regards other things that we may need, or when we may be in peculiar difficulties in other respects. when boys need to be apprenticed, or situations have to be found for the girls, and there are difficulties in the way, as we never send them out, except to believing masters and mistresses, my soul is yet at peace, because i betake myself to my heavenly father. when there have been infectious diseases in the orphan-houses, whereby, looking at it naturally, many children might be taken away through death, my soul is at peace, because i cast this burden upon the lord, and he sustains me. when one or the other of my fellow-labourers have left the work, and i needed their place supplied, and knew of no suitable persons, i have been looking to god for help, and that has kept my heart in peace, though this is no small difficulty, as not only can no hirelings be engaged in this work, but also, in case, the individual is a true child of god, there are yet so many things to be considered as to fitness and call for the work. when all kinds of lying reports have been spread about the work and about myself in connexion with it (though they have been very much less than might have been expected), i have committed my case to the lord; and such things, instead of casting me down, often have greatly cheered me, because they have been a fresh proof to me, that god is at work, and that, therefore, the devil is angry, and stirs up these lies. when i have had for months to leave the work, as in the year , for about four months, in - , for seven months, and in , for three months, being called to labour on the continent, or being ill, as in , my heart has been in perfect peace, committing all the concerns of the whole institution into the hand of god, considering that it was not my work but his, and that, therefore, i might be without carefulness about it. i seek to believe more and more what god says about himself in his holy word, and it is this which gives this rest and peace to my heart, not only with reference to all the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, but also about my own body and soul, my dear wife and child, my other dear relations, the temporal supplies for myself and family, my service in the church in which i labour, now consisting of more than believers, and the state of the church of christ at large. march , saturday. l. s. ¾ d. more has come in since march th. thus i have been able fully to meet all the expenses during this week, but now hare again only a few shillings left towards the necessities of the coming week.--late in the evening.--after our prayer-meeting this evening four sovereigns were given to me, two for the orphans, and two for the other objects. this is the beginning of the help which the lord surely will give during the coming week also. march , tuesday. only s. d. had come in since saturday evening, and therefore, after the expenses of yesterday had been met, there remained again only a few shillings in hand, on account of which my prayer was, that the lord would be pleased to send in something for this day. when i came home last evening from the meeting, my dear wife told me, that there was some money in the box in our parlour. i opened it, and found it to contain five sovereigns. thus we are supplied for today. march . yesterday i had sent off all the money, which was remaining in my hands, to the orphan-houses for housekeeping. also the boxes were opened in the orphan-houses, but only ½ d. was found in them. we were comfortably supplied yesterday with all that was required, but there was no money at all in hand for today. when the letter-bag was brought this morning for money, i found that the need for housekeeping for today was l. s.; but there was nothing at all in hand. therefore, while the boy was waiting at my house, i disposed of some trinkets, which had been sent a few days since, for l. s. d. thus we had enough, and d. over. there came in also d. by sale of reports.-- evening. this afternoon came in, by sale of articles, s. d., and by a donation l. march . the need of today is l. there was s. d. more needed than i had in hand, when s. ½ d. came in from two orphan-boxes. thus we are helped for this day. march . yesterday afternoon half-a-sovereign was brought to me. in the evening s. d. came in by sale of articles. but this was not enough for the need of today. while the orphan boy was waiting for the money, i received the following letter from bath:-- "beloved brother in the lord, "my sister e. and myself feel it laid on our hearts to send a little for your need at this time, thinking it must be increased by the severity of the weather. we send the inclosed in much love, and thankfulness to the lord for permitting us to do it, half for the orphans, and the rest to be applied as seems good to you. etc." the letter contained two sovereigns, of which i took one for the orphans, and the other for the school fund. (the latter sovereign was needed today towards the payment of the teachers in the day-schools.) thus we had all that was needed today for the orphans. this evening i found a sixpence in the box in my room. march , monday. the sixpence which i took out of the box in my room on saturday evening was all there was in hand, when yesterday came in the following donations: a. a. l. s. ½ d., anonymously d., ditto s. d. when this morning i had the bag sent from the orphan-houses, i found that the amount needed for house-keeping was l. s.; but there was only l. s. ½ d. in hand. immediately after, before the bag was fetched, one of my fellow-labourers sent me l. for the orphans, so that we had enough for today, and ½ d. over. when now only ½ d. remained, i received from swansea a letter containing a franc and a half, with the words "jehovah jireh." march . "jehovah jireh" (i.e. the lord will provide) has been again verified in our experience. ½ d. remained in hand, and the need of this day was l. s. but the lord knew what we should need today, and he helped accordingly. i opened the box in my room, and found a ten-pound note in it. thus we have more than is needed for the present moment. march . yesterday afternoon i had to pay out l. more, for one of the apprentices. thus the expenses of yesterday were altogether l. s. how kind therefore of the lord to have put it into the heart of the donor of the ten-pound note to give that money just then. and now we had again only s. ½ d. left towards the need of today, which is l. s. but our most faithful lord has been again mindful of us at this time also. for there came in yesterday from a lady at sheffield l., by sale of reports d., by the profit from the sale of ladies' bags s., and by three donations from bristol donors s. thus there is again all we need for today, and / d. left. immediately after i had written this in my journal, the lord began to increase again "the handful of meal in the barrel." i received from barnstaple s. march . yesterday morning, when i was going to send off the money to the orphan-houses, i found s. d. in the letter bag, slipped in anonymously. i found also l. s. in the boxes at my house. thus we have l. s. ½ d. for the necessities of today, which i find is sufficient. march . all the money being spent, the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened yesterday afternoon, in which were found a sovereign, half-a-crown, and a penny. this is all we have for today. march , saturday. we were able to get through yesterday with the l. s. d. found in the boxes; but in this way our stores become much reduced. now, however, was saturday before us with its heavy expenses, and there was nothing yet to meet them, when i went last evening to our public meeting, to minister in the word. however, my soul has been in peace, by the grace of god, during all this week and the last, though again and again we have had nothing. i have reminded the lord repeatedly during this week, that it is his commandment to his disciples to be without anxiety, and that i am so, because it is his commandment that i should be so, but that now he also, on his part, graciously would be pleased to continue to help me, as he had done hitherto. and now observe how the lord again has helped! after the meeting last evening, between and o'clock, when i had nothing at all in hand, towards meeting the necessities of this day, which i had every reason to believe would be several pounds, one of the labourers in the orphan-houses gave to my wife s., miss e. n. sent s., and a sister in the lord, who arrived last evening from hull, put the following letter into the hands of my dear wife, addressed to me:� "hull, march , . "beloved brother, "i send you a small box of articles, which perhaps you can dispose of for the orphans, and l. s. d. in money. accept it in the lord's name as a tribute of love from the brethren here. we shall be always glad to see you if you travel this way. "in haste, "yours affectionately in the lord, "* * * * " the box contained the following articles:--a gold cross, two gold pins, two brooches, three gold rings, a small gold seal, two gold bracelet snaps, a pair of silver studs, a mourning brooch, necklace and ear-rings, a silver pencil case, a stone cross and heart, a gilt waist-buckle, a dozen new cloth caps, two books, two new cotton frocks, three new pinafores, a new white lace veil, two waistcoats, a gown, a pair of lady's boots, three veils, two lace capes, two lace shawls, two muslin aprons, a lady's bag, four waist ribands, three pairs of cuffs, a little scarf, three necklaces; l. s. d. for the orphans, and l. for the circulation of the holy scriptures.--today there came in still further, by sale of articles s. d., for reports d, and by sale of stockings s. d. also from thornbury s. d. thus we have enough for today, and something left. march , monday. yesterday and today came in only s. d. altogether. we have enough for today, and s. d. left, as the demands were only l. s. march . when there was again only s. d. left, s. d. came in yesterday evening. there was also l. put into one of the boxes at my house. this morning i received from a brother from the neighbourhood of birmingham l., and s. came in by another donation. thus i had more than sufficient for the need of today, which is l. s. there came in still further from bridgenorth s., and from a sister in bristol s. d. march . only s. ½ d. came in today, by the boxes in my house. march . yesterday morning i sent off for housekeeping all the money i had left. it was enough for yesterday, but only enough. only l came in yesterday, and this morning d. this l. s. d. was all i had to send to the orphan-houses. there came in s, d. besides, and thus we were helped through this day also. march . nothing has come in. while the orphan boy was waiting for the bag to be made up, l. s. d. came in for a few trinkets, which i had sent out to be disposed of. this was all i could send. march . by the l. s. d. we were helped through yesterday. but there was now again not only nothing at all in hand, but we required the more, as the last two days there had been so little laid out for housekeeping, and also because today was saturday. however, as the lord never once has forsaken me in the work during the last eleven years, so it has been at this time also. about five o'clock yesterday afternoon a note was given to me in which was enclosed l., which a physician of this city kindly sent. in the evening i received s., being the profit from the sale of ladies' bags, and this morning came in still further by the sale of articles s. d., and by the sale of stockings s. there were also last evening, anonymously left at my house, a gold seal, a brass seal, and a pair of gilt ear-rings. there came in still further s., and s. march . there came in yesterday and today anonymously from hayes-town, near uxbridge, l., and l. s. besides. april . on account of the expenses of saturday having been great, and of yesterday likewise, there remained again but a few shillings. our gracious lord, however, who day after day looks on our need, yea, so to speak, inspects our stores, knew this, and therefore yesterday caused ten pounds to be put into one of the boxes at my house. last evening came in also still further l. s. from the isle of wight. april . as i had to expend today more than l, for the orphans, i was again reduced to a few shillings, when this morning l. was sent to me by two donors from liverpool. also at the same time came from the neighbourhood of worcester l. april . after having been comparatively poor, the lord is now again pouring in means, which come very seasonably for the replenishing of our stores, for the obtaining of certain articles of clothing for the children, etc. today i received the following donations: l. s. from the brethren assembling at bethesda chapel, sunderland, from two sisters s., from a. a. s. d., and by sale of reports s. d. april . still further from sunderland s., from sherborne s. d., from sidmouth l., and from "s. p., dublin," l. s. april , saturday. l. s. d. more has come in since the th. after the expenses of today had been met, there again remained scarcely anything, when, in addition to all the ordinary expenses during the coming week before me, a fresh supply of oatmeal needed to be purchased. the boxes in the orphan-houses therefore were opened, but only l. s. d. was found in them. there came in besides from a. a. s. april , lord's-day. this morning i received a letter from hampstead, containing four post-office orders of l. each, of which l. is for the poor believers among whom i labour, and l, for the orphans. april . from the th to this day came in altogether l. s. d. thus we were well supplied with all the means which were needed during that time; but yesterday morning i had sent off to the orphan-houses the last money i had in hand. in the afternoon a sister in the lord from bath called, and gave me a sovereign, when i had not one penny in hand towards the need of today. this morning came in still further s. ½ d, by needlework done by the orphan-girls. also d. by sale of a report. thus we were supplied for today. may . when this day began i had only half-a-crown in hand, which i had taken last evening out of one of the boxes in my house. when i was this morning, on my usual walk before breakfast, bringing my circumstances before the lord, i reminded him of his word, "take no thought for the morrow ", (i.e. be not anxious about the morrow), and i told him that yesterday i had not been anxious about today, and prayed that he would now be pleased to help me. i was in perfect peace, though i had not the least natural prospect of having the necessities of today supplied. of the money put by for the rent i would not take. our need was my comfort. when i returned to my house at eight o'clock, i found that there bad been sent from the orphan-houses s., given there, and s. d. for knitting. also a person had brought yesterday to the orphan-houses the contents of an orphan-box, which had in his room, having felt himself, as he said, much stirred up to do so. it was s. d. also a sister from worcestershire had sent s. before money was sent for from the orphan-houses, i received this morning from stafford s. thus i had l. s. d, to send to the orphan-houses for the need of today. may . a little after i had sent off yesterday all the money to the orphan-houses, a brother in the lord from cornwall called on me and gave me l. in the afternoon a sister, who had received peculiar mercy from the lord in the way of temporal help, called on me, and gave s.; and a christian servant, who had received a fee, gave it, the amount being s. thus i have l. s. to send for the need of this day.--i had written this in my journal, but the bag was not yet gone, when i received from a distance of about miles for reports s. d, and from "a field officer" l s. d., so that i could send all that was needed today, being l. may . yesterday afternoon i received half-a-crown more, and this morning s. by sale of articles, and from kendal l s. the money from kendal came about two minutes before the boy came from the orphan-houses to fetch the supply for this day's necessities. it was a most seasonable help, as this is saturday, and we needed today l. s., and i had not nearly enough in hand.--there came in further this morning l. s. d. by sale of articles, and in the evening s., being the contents of an orphan-box in the neighbourhood of coleford. � we are thus brought to the close of another week, and have a little left towards the heavy expenses of the next, as, besides the usual housekeeping expenses of about l., there are ten tons of gravel for the playgrounds to be bought, and a ton of oatmeal. july . from may rd to this day was a season of comparatively rich abundance. the total amount which was received amounts to l. s. ½ d. immediately after the rd, the lord sent considerable help, so that i was able to meet the extraordinary expenses which are referred to under the last date; for on the th came in l. s. d., on the th s. d., on the th l. and l., of which two sums one-half was put to the orphan-fund, and the other half to the fund for the other objects. on the th of may i had to leave bristol on account of my health, and was absent three weeks, and had to pay away, for the orphans, about l. within one fortnight after. how seasonably, therefore, came these two donations! when these two sums came in there was only s. d. in hand, and, as has been stated, ten tons of gravel were needed, and a ton of oatmeal, also money for the apprentices, besides the daily current expenses. of the other donations, which came in during this period, i only mention: from negro brethren in demerara, twelve dollars. all the money, after this long time of comparative abundance, was today, july th, reduced to l. s. ½ d., and l. was needed. the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, in which s. d. was found. thus we had enough, and s. ½ d. was left. july . yesterday afternoon came a box from newport, in the isle of wight, with many articles for the orphans, and a little money for the other objects. this was a precious encouragement to continue to wait upon the lord. at the first delivery this morning i received several letters. the first i opened was from a brother in devonshire, with a post-office order for s. for the orphans. he writes thus; "my box for the orphans still yields but little, but i have been frequently inquiring of the lord, when that little should be sent. for the last few days it has appeared to me that the time was come to send it to you, i therefore sent for the amount in an order, which i this day received, and now send, in hope it may be of some help in a time of need." this s. was a further precious encouragement.--the next letter which i opened was from a christian gentleman at edinburgh, containing a bank order for twenty-five guineas, of which twenty guineas are for the work of the lord in my hands, and five for my own personal necessities. there came in still further today, from brethren at perth l., and from the neighbourhood of glasgow l. july . this morning i received a legacy of l. for the orphans, from the relatives of a dear departed sister in the lord, who, from the commencement of the work up to her last days, had taken the deepest interest in it. also from jersey, together with a gold ring, l. also l. s. ½ d. by sale of articles and donations, so that during these two days we have had above l. coming in. from july th to th, came in l. s. d. more. on july th i left for the continent, to labour for a season in germany, and returned to bristol on oct th. for about eight months before this, i had seen it to be the lord's will that i should go again this year to the continent for a season, and had made my journey and service a subject of prayer from nov., . besides asking the lord's blessing upon my service, i also sought his help for means, and for this also i had not to wait on him in vain. for as the lord had sent me, before i went in , the sum of l. s. d. for various purposes, and for the work in germany in particular, so he gave me again, on may rd, , the sum of l, for the work in germany, yet so, that the surplus which there might be should be employed for the orphans and other work in my hands. from the conditions under which this donation was given to me, it was obvious then, that whilst on the one hand, when it plainly could be seen that only a certain part of the money would be needed for the present service in germany, the remainder might be used for the benefit of the orphans, or the other part of the work; yet, on the other hand, we could not begin at once to apply any part of this money to the objects of the scriptural knowledge institution; for at the commencement i could not know how much might be expended on the service in germany, particularly as my intention was to do as much as i could for those on the continent who are in darkness and in the shadow of death, and also as i wished as much as possible to help the church of christ in that part of the world. therefore those who said: "we are quite sure there must be much money in hand for the orphans, else mr. muller would not have gone to germany," were quite mistaken. often have i had similar things said to me, or about the work, when we have been in the deepest poverty, simply because in faith a certain step had been taken, or a certain thing had been done, which was connected with great expense. at such times, of course, my fellow-labourers and i have had to be silent. for we could not say it was not so, else it would be exposing our poverty, and would look like asking for help. therefore we have had to be content with something like this: "lord, it is said that there is much money in hand, whereby some who would otherwise help us, it may be, are kept from doing so; now, lord, do thou nevertheless, as the work is thine, lay our need, the real state of things, on the hearts of thy children, that they may help us." thus it was during my service in germany in the summer of also. my fellow-labourers in bristol and my dear wife and i in stuttgart, poured out our hearts before the lord, seeking his help upon the work, and asking him also for means, and he did not despise our cries. there came in, during the twelve weeks that i was away, for the orphans alone, l. s, ½ d. this, together with what was in hand when i left, and with come money that at the end of my stay in germany (when i saw that i should scarcely need one half of the l.) i could order to be drawn out of my bankers' hands in bristol, richly supplied all the need, during my absence. but the labourers were repeatedly in straits, and several times the last money was gone; but the lord refreshed their hearts by seasonable help.--of the l. given for the service in germany, and for the printing of tracts, there remained l. s, ½ d., of which i took for the orphans l. s. ½ d., and for the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution l. jan. , . from the day of my return to bristol, on oct. , up to this day, there has been no difficulty at all with regard to means. the many donations which have come in, together with what came to the orphan-fund from the surplus of the sum given for the work in germany, enabled me, without any difficulty, to meet all the expenses, though they were many and great. of the donations which came in during this period i only refer to the following: on nov. th heft bristol to labour for a little while at sunderland. i had but little money to leave with my dear wife for the work; but my path was plain to go, and therefore my hope was in god, as to the work in bristol during the meantime, being assured that he would care for it. and thus it was. rich supplies were granted by him. on the very next day, after my departure, nov. th, the following anonymous letter was left at my house, containing six five-pound notes and two sovereigns. "my dear brother in the lord, "about six or eight weeks since, anticipating soon a remittance by a bill, which would become available about a week previous to this date, i was led to ask the lord what he would desire to do with the money which might remain in my hands when i should receive the money for this bill, and your name was immediately presented to my mind with these words: "the lord has need of it." i therefore enclose the amount, viz, thirty-two pounds, and remain, "dear brother, "yours affectionately in the lord, "nov. , . &c. &c." look at this, dear reader! is not the hand of god most manifest in such cases? this unknown donor prays what to do with the money, and my name is brought to his or her mind. see also how seasonable the help! this l. was put to the orphan-fund, as there was but little in hand. by this and the other sums which came in during my absence, my dear wife was helped without any difficulty, through all the expenses. there being now again little in hand, i asked the lord yesterday (jan. , ) that he would be pleased to send in supplies, when almost immediately after a sister in the lord, who had unexpectedly received a rich remittance from distant relatives, gave me l.; and today a lady, who on her way from cornwall to london was staying for a day or two at clifton, kindly sent me l. thus we are again supplied at least for a week. march . goodness and mercy have followed us again in many respects with reference to the work, since the last date, jan. th, up to this day; and with regard to means, there has been again a rich supply granted to us, so that i have been able to meet all the expenses of the work, though they have been for the orphans alone. l. s. d., and more than l. for the other objects, during these six weeks. but there remained now scarcely anything in hand, when i received this morning, from a distance of about miles the following letter with l. "beloved brother, "enclosed is the produce of the sale of a pianoforte, which i thankfully send for the lord's work in your hands, having received blessing to my own soul by means of that work, and not the least in being weaned from some of those things i once found pleasure in. i have been waiting payment of the amount for some time, but, having money now in hand, i send it without further delay, as you may possibly need it now. the l. you will kindly allot as you see most desirable. that our god would fulfil in you all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power, that the name of our lord jesus christ may be glorified in you, is the prayer of "your affectionate brother, "* * * * feb. , . * * * *" march . up to this day also we have been helped, though but little, comparatively, has come in. when yesterday, march , all the means were gone, a brother gave me l. as a thankoffering for having received a sum of money unexpectedly, as a dividend from a bankruptcy. in the afternoon i received a half sovereign as the profit of the sale of ladies' bags made by a sister in the lord for the benefit of the orphans, and s. d. was put into an orphan-box at my house. this morning i received the following letter from devonshire, together with a post-office order for l. "beloved brother, "i send you an order for l., half of which will you accept for yourself, and the other half appropriate for the orphans; or, if they happen to be well supplied at present, you may apply it to the building you have in contemplation. job xxii. - . "believe me very affectionately yours, "* * * *" the half of this money was taken for the present need of time orphans. there was also sent l. s. from weymouth. thus we are again supplied for the present need. march . today i have to send more money for housekeeping to the orphan-houses, and the lord has kindly given me yesterday afternoon and this morning the means for it. yesterday came in by sale of trinkets, &c., l. s. ½ d. and by two donations s., and this morning i received s, from marlborough. march , saturday. since yesterday morning, when i had sent off to the orphan-houses the very last penny in hand, the following sums have come in: a sister from worcester gave s. d., and in the boxes in my house i found l. this morning s. came from the neighbourhood of castle cary, from a sister in bristol s. d., by sale of articles l. s. d., and by sale of stockings s. thus i have been enabled, during this week also, to meet all the expenses, though they have been more than l.; and s. d. is left towards the coming week. my heart is in perfect peace, though there are between and persons to be provided for (including the teachers and matrons in the orphan-houses and the apprentices), and though there is heavy sickness in two of the houses. � saturday evening, the lord has already increased "the handful of meal in the barrel, and the little oil in the cruse." this afternoon i received l. s., being the contents of an orphan-box at barnstaple. there came in s. d, besides. march . on the rd came in l. s. d. on the th and th came in l. s. yesterday was also taken out of the boxes in the orphan-houses s. d., our need having led to the opening of them, and in the boxes in my house was found s. d.; but we had not quite enough for the need of today, when about twelve o'clock this morning a box arrived from chelsea, containing s. ¾ d., many ornaments, etc.--we are thus helped for this day. march . today came in l. s. d. by sale of articles. likewise s. from a little girl. thus we are again provided for today. march , saturday. yesterday afternoon came in still further from street, by sale of reports s. and three donations of d., d., and d. there was likewise given by a sister a small gold watch-chain. this morning i received, by sale of articles l. s. d., by sale of reports s., and by sale of stockings s. thus, by the income of this week, and by about l. s. which i found i had more than was needed for the rent when paying it on the th, having to receive drawbacks from the landlords, i have been again able to meet the housekeeping expenses during this week, amounting to l. s. d., besides the rent which is l., for which the money had been put by; and i am come to the close of another week, with s. d. in hand towards the necessities of the next. � late on saturday. there has come in still further this evening from a. a. s. ½ d., and from mrs. r. s. march , monday. my heart was particularly in peace on saturday evening after the prayer meeting, though i could leave only a few shillings for each of the four houses towards the housekeeping expenses of this week, where, besides the ordinary expenses, there is also money needed on account of heavy sickness in two of the houses. when i emptied the purse to the last penny, and returned home without anything in hand, i felt fully assured that we should have again abundant reasons for thanksgiving next saturday, and told my dear fellow-labourers so, and, thus it is. yesterday was put into the chapel-boxes for the orphans l., ditto s., ditto s. this morning i received l. from a miner at a distance, an entire stranger. thus our heavenly father has helped most seasonably. , in giving me means for present necessities as to housekeeping. , in providing me with means for the extra need on account of the illness of several children. , in giving means for getting a ton and a half of oatmeal from scotland. april , saturday evening. on the nd i received anonymously from london it, besides some money for needlework done by the orphan-girls; on the nd was sent to me l. from bath, from a lady unknown to me. these two donations i received the very moment i rose from my knees, having asked the lord for more means, as, on account of the heavy expenses just now, we needed again more money by the end of this week. there was also given on the nd l. by a lady who had received a present of l. from some relations, and gave the tenth part of it to the orphans. on the rd and th came in l. s. d. the actual expenses of this week, have been l. besides l. having been put by for the oatmeal which has been ordered, and we have a little more than l. left. april , saturday. the lord has been again good to me since the th with regard to means, l. s. ½ d. having come in during these two weeks. today, having only l. s. ½ d., in hand, towards the supplies of the next week, we made known our requests to god, and while i was in prayer with two of my fellow-labourers, there came a letter, in which f. from london sent s. there came in almost immediately after by sale of articles s. d., and by a sister in the lord from brixham, who called this morning, s. was given. this afternoon the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, but only s. d. found in them. s, came in besides. this afternoon a brother called at the boys' orphan-house, and gave eight sovereigns, saying that he had had a desire to bring this money for some days past, but had been unable on account of his health, but now was pressed in spirit to do so, though scarcely able to walk. the following points are to be noticed concerning the lord's goodness today. , i purpose, on account of my health, and for the sake of procuring time for the writing of the report, to leave bristol on monday, and thus i am able to leave money behind for at least or days. , i had been speaking today and yesterday in my prayers to the lord, "it is buy will that i should not be anxious. i am not, by thy grace; but, lord, there are about persons to be provided for in the orphan-houses, wilt thou then help me with means!"--i was able to send altogether l. s. ½ d. to the matrons. april , monday morning. the lord has helped still further. there came yesterday anonymously from london l. with these words: "to brother müller, with the writer's fervent prayer, that the giver of all good may continue to pour down upon him and all his undertakings the abundance of his blessings. half for his own necessities, and half to be disposed of as he thinks fit." i cannot help noticing here the lord's double kindness, both towards the orphans and towards myself. i now need for myself more money than usual, as besides the regular housekeeping expenses at home, i need money for myself and dear wife in going away for the twofold object of our health and my having thus time to write the report: and the lord supplies me with means. thus also i received yesterday l. for "change of air," and l. was sent to me for myself the day before yesterday from a brother at winchester, whom i have never seen. i find continually, that, without making provision for extra need, and without reckoning anxiously about the future, the lord helps me when i need anything. i find it pleasant and precious, even as to this life, to walk in the ways of the lord. there came in still further yesterday morning for the orphans from a. a. s. d., from a brother l., from "a friend at stirling" s., and from an irish sister s.--thus i could send still further this morning to the matrons, before my departure, l. s. d., so that i am able to leave about l, behind, and thus the need is supplied for about five days, humanly speaking; and before that time is gone, i expect to obtain more, by waiting upon god. this morning, before we departed, i received a letter in which was the following sentence: "with regard to property i do not see my way clearly. i trust it is all indeed at the disposal of the lord; and if you would let me know of any need of it in his service, any sum under l. shall be at your disposal at about a week's notice." this brother meant what he said, i have every reason to believe. i might have written; "the orphans, my dear brother, are now in need, and it would be a particular comfort to me, as i am going away, if you would send me l.," and i doubt not that i should have had it after a week. i preferred, however, to continue, as heretofore, to deal with god alone in this service, that the church of christ at large still further may be benefited, particularly those who are weak in the faith, or those who are recently brought to the knowledge of our lord jesus, in seeing how blessed it is to make known our requests unto god, and that those who trust in him are not confounded. i therefore wrote to this brother, with regard to his kind offer, that i only speak to the lord about my need. may, , saturday. this evening, after an absence of days, we returned to bristol. during all this time the lord supplied us with means, but it was almost always by the day. during the last days, in the course of my regular meditation on the new testament, i came to that precious word: "casting all your care upon him: for he careth for you," peter, v. , and, by god's grace, i was able to cast all my care concerning his work on the lord; and when we returned this evening i found, that for this day also the lord had not only provided, but there was l. s. ½ d. more than was needed. may , monday. yesterday a brother from hackney gave l., and s. ¼ d. came in besides. thus, with what was left on saturday, i was able to send l. s. d. to the orphan-houses, to be divided among the four matrons. after having sent this morning to the last penny all the money i had in hand to the orphan-houses, i received l., which, being left entirely at my disposal, was portioned out thus: l. for the present need of the orphans, l. for the other objects, and l. for the building fund of the orphan house. how kind of the lord to help so seasonably; for i have very many and heavy expenses before me, besides the ordinary expenses of about l. per week. there are to be bought bags of rice, bushels of peas, cwt. of soap, material for boys' clothes, the houses are to coloured down, several small sums for apprentices are to be paid, the report is to be printed, etc. this also is to be noticed: the lord rewarded me thus, for not exposing our poverty to the brother, who offered on april th to give me any sum under l., if i would let him know if i needed anything for the lord's work. thus we had at least a little more than we should have had, even if i had asked that brother. may . up to this day, till the last hours before the commencement of our public meetings, at which an account is to be given of the lord's dealings with us since july , , the lord's goodness has continued in supplying us with means. about l. more has come in during the last fifteen days. and this very day, the last of this period, i received l. anonymously from stafford, with an affectionate and encouraging note; l. s. ½ d. i took out of the boxes at my house, two ten pound notes having been put in; and several other little donations came in besides. it is scarcely needful to state, at the close of these details, that, notwithstanding our having been often poor, and very poor, yet the children have always had the needful articles of clothing and nourishing food. those who know what it is to walk in the fear of god, know also, that god would not help us, in answer to our prayers, if we hypocritically stated that the children were well provided with wholesome food, etc., and yet it were not true. account of the new orphan-house, on ashley down, bristol, from its earliest beginning to june , . i began the service of caring for children who are bereaved of both parents, by death, born in wedlock, and are in destitute circumstances, on dec. , . for nearly ten years i never had any desire to build an orphan-house. on the contrary, i decidedly preferred spending the means, which might come in, for present necessities, and desired rather to enlarge the work according to the means which the lord might be pleased to give. thus it was till the end of october, , when i was led to consider this matter in a way i had never done before. the occasion of my doing so was this: on oct. , , i received from a gentleman, who lived in the street, where the orphan-houses were, a polite and friendly letter, in which he courteously stated to me that the inhabitants in the adjoining houses were in various ways inconvenienced by the orphan-houses being in wilson street. he left to myself the judgment of the case. this letter i received on thursday morning, oct. , . being very much occupied that week, i had scarcely any time to consider time matter. on monday morning, however, nov. , i set apart some hours for the prayerful consideration of the subject, and after i had besought the lord to guide me to a right decision, i wrote down the reasons which appeared to me to make it desirable that the orphans should be removed from wilson street, and also the reasons against removing. as far as they are suitable for being stated in print, they were those: i. reasons for removing from wilson street. . the neighbours feel themselves inconvenienced by the noise of the children in the play-hours. this complaint is neither without foundation, nor unjust; for many persons are very much inconvenienced by the noise of children, and those living close by the orphan-houses must be so during the play-hours, even though the noise be only of that kind, that one could not at all find fault with the dear children on account of it. i should myself feel it trying to my head to live next door to the orphan-houses, on that account i therefore ought to do to others, as i should wish to be done by. this point had never before appeared to me in so serious a light. the greatness of the number of the inmates in the houses has several times prevented the drains from acting properly, and thus has a few times affected the water in one or two of the neighbours' houses. with reference to these two reasons, as it regards those living near the orphan-houses, these words, "let not your good be evil spoken of," rom. xiv. , and "let your moderation (i.e. yieldingness) be known unto all men," philip iv. , seemed to me two important portions of the word of god to be acted out in this matter. but in addition to the reasons for removing the orphans from wilson street, on account of the unavoidable occasional inconvenience that comes upon the neighbours, there appeared now to me, when once i was led to consider seriously the reasons for removing the institution from wilson street, other reasons for doing so, in connexion with the work itself, which had occurred to me before, but never in so strong a light as now, when the subject was brought more immediately before me by the letter, in which i was politely requested to remove the orphans from wilson street. these reasons are: . we have no proper play-grounds in wilson street. there is one play-ground, which, however, is only large enough for the children of one house at a time; but as there are children in four houses who ought to have the benefit of it, we can not arrange so that all the children have the full benefit of that play-ground, as the meals, the school-hours, the weather, and other hinderances interfere. the dear orphans ought, i know, to be trained in habits of industry, but children are children, and need to be treated as such; and they should, on account of their health, have the full benefit of a play-ground. but this they cannot have in wilson street: and to take them out into the fields for the benefit of bodily exercise, as we have been in the habit of doing, is often very inconvenient. . we have no ground for cultivation, near the orphan-houses, and hence there must be more walking for the children, on account of using proper means for keeping them, with the blessing of god in health, than is, in other respects, good for them; because frequent walks easily beget in children habits of idleness, which would be especially felt when boys are apprenticed. but this difficulty cannot be obviated by remaining in wilson street, and renting a piece of land somewhere else for cultivation; for to get the children ready and conduct them to the piece of ground, not only takes a good deal of time, but is connected with other great inconveniences, yea with insurmountable difficulties, so that we found it needful to give up a small piece of ground which we once rented for about two years for the orphan-boys, at a distance of about half a mile from wilson street. thus, by removing from wilson street, and obtaining premises surrounded by land for cultivation, we should be able to procure a most important moral benefit for the children, by having the opportunity more fully than we now have, of training them in habits of industry, besides giving to the boys occupation which is more suitable for them than knitting, which is now the only employment they have, besides making their beds, cleaning the house, and attending to the cooking of their meals. moreover, this would be occupation in the open air, which not only would bring their limbs into exercise, but also make walking, for the sake of health, almost entirely needless. . if we were to remove from wilson street, and obtain premises in the country, we might have all the washing done at home, which now, for want of room, can be only done in part. thus the girls also would have more laborious work at home, a point of great importance for them, so that they would not feel so much the hardships connected with going out to service. . the situation of wilson street is perhaps scarcely bracing enough for strengthening the constitution of the orphans, most of whom, being the offspring of very diseased parents, require a very invigorating place of abode. . the present situation is certainly not desirable for the teachers, especially as, when their hours of work are over, they have no garden or fields close to the house, immediately to go into for a little refreshment of body; and for some of them it is too far to go to fields, where they might have bracing air. . in times of sickness we are too confined in the houses in wilson street. if there were less than children in each house, the average expenses for each child would be too great, it being desirable, as the arrangements are now, that there should not be less than labourers in each house; and yet, if there are children in each house, we are too lull in time of sickness, as we have not a single spare room in any of the houses. now, though the lord has during all these years most mercifully helped us through such seasons, yet it has not been without inconvenience, and without also, perhaps, having more of the children in one room, at such times, than on account of health is desirable. . even ordinarily, when there is no sickness, it would be desirable to have more room. there are no premises to be had in bristol, or in the immediate neighbourhood, where we could have these advantages; for i have been looking about in all directions for this purpose during the last ten years. but suppose there were a large house to be had in one part of the city, and a second a mile off, and a third and a fourth in other directions, such houses, on account of our peculiar position in the work, would not do. for in seasons of need, the distance of the several houses would render it very inconvenient for the labourers to meet together for prayer, to divide the means that may be in hand, etc. besides, when in seasons of other peculiar difficulties, connected with the work, i wished to meet all my fellow-labourers, there would arise great difficulty by their being divided in different parts of the city. it would also thus be very inconvenient to persons, who wish to see the work, to go from place to place, in order to have a view of all the orphan-houses. but this is not all. the more i have considered the matter, the more am i now persuaded, that no ordinary large houses, built for private families, and therefore only calculated to accommodate or persons, at most, for any length of time in them, will do for charitable institutions of any considerable size, as no ordinary house furnishes the proper advantages of ventilation, a point so needful for the health of the inmates in a charitable institution. there seemed to me, therefore to remain nothing but to build premises for the purpose. ii. reasons for remaining in wilson street. . god hitherto has pointed out the spot most plainly. at the commencement of the work, in , no other house was to be had but no. , wilson street. after-wards, when in the infant orphan-house was on the point of being opened, again i was looking about in all directions, and saw many houses, but found none that was suitable, till all at once, most unlooked for, the occupiers of no. , wilson street were desirous of immediately leaving that house, and i was able thus to rent it. when in i was on the point of opening the boys' orphan-house, i looked about again for a house in all directions; for i knew not at that time, what i have since learned by experience, that it was so important that all the houses should be near together. after seeking long in vain, i at last found a very large house, not far from wilson street, which i rented; but when the occupiers of the houses in the neighbourhood heard that that house had been let for a charitable institution, they threatened the owner with an action, which led him to request me to give up the agreement, which, of course, i did immediately. at last, most unexpectedly, after having looked about in vain in all directions, the occupiers of no wilson street offered it to me, and i rented it for the orphan boys. lastly, in the year , when i was led to see it to be the will of god to go forward in this work, and to establish time girls' orphan-house, no. ii, for older girls, one particular feature in the matter was, that the house no. , in wilson street, bad been offered to me without being sought after, when there had not been for about years one single large house to be let in that street. [but though hitherto god has pointed out wilson street as being the spot where this work should be carried on, may not now the time have come for removing?] . perhaps we might also rent nos. , , and , in wilson street, and use two out of those three houses for orphan-houses, and one of them for an infirmary in case of sickness. [but then, i said to myself, would not the objection, which the neighbours on the opposite side of the street might make, on account of the noise of the children in their play-hours, etc. remain? also the drains would be still more unsuitable, not being constructed for so many inmates; and to alter them would be a heavy expense. the play-ground would be still less sufficient, if two new houses were added. lastly, there was no reason to think that we could rent nos. , , and .] . there are these three great objections against building: the considerable sum which is required, and which could be spent for present use upon the orphans. the pilgrim character of the christian seems lost in building. the time that it will necessarily take in making arrangements for it. [do not all these objections only hold good, i said to myself, if i were needlessly to set about building? if i could rent premises, which are really in every way suitable for the work, and i preferred building, then those objections would apply to the case; but when one is forced to it, it is no more than erecting a large building, because there may be children of god in fellowship who have been hitherto renting a meeting-place, but for certain reasons are obliged to leave it, and cannot rent another. such could not be accused of needlessly spending money in building instead of renting; nor could it be justly said that they have on that account given up the pilgrim character; nor would it be time wasted if some individuals were to make arrangements about the building of that meeting-place. therefore these three objections just mentioned, which had been for ten years strongly in my own mind, were removed when once i saw plainly that nothing remained but to build.] after i had spent a few hours in prayer and consideration over the subject, i began already to see that the lord would lead me to build, and that his intentions were not only the benefit of the orphans, and the better ordering of the whole work, but also the bearing still further testimony that he could and would provide large sums for those who need them and trust in him for them; and besides, that he would enlarge the work so, that, if i once did build a house, it might be large enough to accommodate three hundred orphans, with their teachers and other overseers and servants needful for the work.--concerning this latter point, i think it important to remark, that during no period had the number of applications for the admission of orphans been greater than just before i was led to think about building, so that it was quite painful to me, not to be able to comply with the wishes of all the many persons who applied for the admission of orphans. there were many waiting for admission, particularly orphan-boys. in the afternoon of november rd, , i laid the matter before my fellow-labourers in the church (eight in number) to get their judgment, whether i ought not to leave wilson street, and to build. all judged that i ought to leave wilson street, and none saw reasons against building. on nov. th my dear wife and i began to meet for prayer about this matter, and purposed to do so morning by morning. we asked god for clearer light concerning the particular points connected with the subject; and, being assured that it was his will that i should build, i began asking the lord for means. on nov. th i judged, having considered the matter more fully, that sufficiently large premises to furnish all needful accommodation for children (from their earliest days up to or years old), together with a sufficiently large piece of ground in the neighbourhood of bristol, for building the premises upon and the remainder for cultivation by the spade, would cost at least ten thousand pounds. i was not discouraged by this, but trusted in the living god. we continued meeting for prayer morning by morning for days, but not a single donation came in; yet my heart was not discouraged. the more i prayed the more assured i was, that the lord would give the means. yea, as fully assured was i that the lord would do so, as if i bad already seen the new premises actually before me. this assurance arose not from some vague, enthusiastical feeling, the mere excitement of the moment, but i, from the reasons already related, and especially from the commandment contained in philip iv. . for i saw that i should not act according to the mind of our lord jesus, if i did not, as soon as i could, remove the orphans from wilson street, as it had been stated to me in the letter referred to, that their living there was an annoyance to some of the inhabitants in that street. . this assurance that i should build an orphan-house arose further, from the whole way in which the lord has been pleased to lead me in connexion with the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, since its beginning on march , , i.e. he has been leading me forward as by an unseen hand, and enlarging the work more and more from its commencement, and, generally, without my seeking after it, and bringing things so clearly before me, that i could not but see that i ought to go forward. . lastly and chiefly, this my assurance, that i should build unto the lord this house of mercy, arose also particularly from this, that, having strictly examined my heart as to the motives for doing so, i found that, as before. god, i could say that my only motives were his honour and glory and the welfare of the church of christ at large, the real temporal and spiritual welfare of destitute orphans, and the welfare of all those who might take care of them, in the building to be erected. and finding that, after praying again and again about the matter, i still remained in perfect peace, i judged it assuredly to be the will of god that i should go forward. on nov. th brother r. c. arrived, to labour for a little while in bristol, i communicated to him my position with reference to having to remove the orphans from wilson street, and i had his judgment also as to its being of god that i should build. this dear brother's judgment greatly encouraged me. his visit was to me of great help in this particular, especially in stirring me up yet more, to bring everything, in connexion with this matter, before god. he also laid it on my heart to seek direction from god with reference to the plan of the building. he said "you must ask help from god to show you the plan, so that all may be according to the mind of god." on nov. th i left with my brother and fellow-labourer, mr. craik, for sunderland, where we arrived on nov. . here we laboured till dec. , when i left alone for kendal, to labour there for a few days. all the time that i was at sunderland, i had very much prayer about the building of the orphan-house, and i felt all the time fully assured, that god would bring the matter to pass. but thirty days had now passed away, whilst i had been day by day waiting upon god for means for this work, and not a single penny had been given to me. nevertheless, this did not in the least discourage me, but my assurance, that god in his own time and in his own way would give the means, increased more and more. while i was at sunderland the portion which came in course of my meditation, on the new testament, was the beginning of the epistle of james. more than at any period in my life was i struck with these verses: "my brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations (i.e. trials) knowing this that the trying of your faith worketh patience. but let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." james i. � . it was especially the last verse, "but let patience have her perfect work, etc." which i found of exceeding great importance with reference to the building of the orphan-house. it led out my soul in prayer day after day, to ask the lord to increase my faith and to sustain my patience. i had these verses so impressed upon my heart, that i could not but think god meant particularly to bless me by them, with regard to the work before me, and that i should especially need patience as well as faith, i stayed at kendal from the evening of dec. to dec. , when i left for bristol, where i arrived on dec. th. it was now days that i had been day by day bringing this matter before god, as to the various points connected with it, and especially also asking the lord for means; but nothing whatever had been given to me. on the day after my return i renewed our united prayer meeting with my dear wife. now observe: on the th day, after having begun to pray, on dec. , , i received l. towards the building of the orphan-house. this is the largest donation that i had received up to that time for the scriptural knowledge institution; but when i received it i was as calm, as quiet, as if i had only received one shilling. for my heart was looking out for answers. day by day i was expecting to receive answers to my prayers. therefore, having faith concerning the matter, this donation did not in the least surprise me. yea, if five thousand pounds, or ten thousand pounds, had been given to me, instead of one thousand pounds, it would not have surprised me. dec. . on the th day my sister-in-law, who had been for some weeks absent in london, and who had now returned to bristol, told me that she had met a gentleman in london, who, having quite recently read with deep interest the narrative of the lord's dealings with me, wished to know as many particulars about the work in my hands as he could. being told by my sister-in-law that i purposed to build an orphan-house, he, an architect, offered to make the plan, and superintend the building, gratuitously. unsolicited he pressed this matter upon her with deep and lively interest. i hear also that he is a christian. the fact, that this offer comes unsolicited and from a christian architect, shows especially the hand of god. this is the second proof that god will help me in this matter. dec. . this is now the th day since i have come to the conclusion to build, and the th day since we have been daily waiting upon god for help. nothing more has come in since dec. th, not even one penny. this morning i have been particularly encouraged by the consideration that the lord has sent me the l. and the promise from that pious architect, whom i have never seen, and of whose name i am as yet in ignorance, not to mock me, but as an earnest that he will give all that is needed. it seems desirable that we should have a large piece of ground of at least six or seven acres. this piece of ground must be in the vicinity of bristol. . in order that the orphan-house may be accessible to me, as my place at present is fixed by my other work in bristol. . that the labourers in the institution and the orphans may be able to attend our meetings, at least on the lord's day. . that the inhabitants of bristol may have the benefit of seeing with their own eyes this work of god, which is so manifestly his and not mine. . that strangers, who pass through bristol, may have an easy access to it, for the same reason. but then, such a piece of ground, near bristol, where there is just now an inordinate desire for building, in the way of speculation, would cost in all human probability between l. and l. then the building itself, however plain, would not cost less than from l. to l., being for orphans, besides all their overseers, teachers, and assistants. in addition to this, the fitting up and furnishing the house for between and inmates, would not cost less than l. more. this is indeed a large sum of money which i need; but my hope is in god. i have not sought after this thing. it has not begun with me. god has altogether unexpectedly, by means of the letter before mentioned, led me to it. only the day before i received the letter, i had no more thought about building premises for the accommodation of the orphans, than i had had during the ten previous years.--my especial prayer is, that god would continue to me faith and patience. if he shall be pleased to help me, in faith and patience to continue to wait on him, help will surely come. dec. . no further donation yet. but my hope in god is unshaken. he most assuredly will help.--i have on purpose not issued any circular in connexion with this matter, in order that the band of god may be the more manifest. to some persons, residing in or out of bristol, i have spoken about my intention of building, when conversation led to it. through this, if the lord please, he can make it known to others, and thus send means for the building fund. or he can send in such an abundance of means for the work which is already in existence, that from that abundance there may be a rich surplus towards the building fund. but howsoever god may help, i do desire to see his hand made most manifest. there will be, no doubt, many trials connected with this enlargement of the field of labour (for if with orphans there has been so much trial of faith, what is to be expected when the number is ); and therefore i desire to see as clearly as daylight that god himself is leading me onward. dec. . this is the th day since i came to the conclusion to build, and the th since i have been day by day waiting upon god concerning it. only that one donation had come in till this evening, when i received l. this donation is exceedingly precious to me, not only because i am sure it is most cheerfully given, nor even because of its largeness, but because it is another precious proof that god will bring about the matter, else he would not give me these earnest. all my business therefore is: to continue in faith and patience to wait upon god. my assurance has been more and more increasing that god will build for himself a large orphan-house in this city, to show to the inhabitants, and to all who may read and hear about it, what a blessed thing it is to trust in him.--of late i have seen, by god's grace, more and more, how entirely unworthy i am of being used by god for this glorious and honourable service, and i can only say, "lord here is thy servant, if thou art pleased to use such a one as i am." dec. , . this morning i came, in course of my reading, to the commencement of the book of ezra. i was particularly refreshed by the two following points contained in the first chapter, in applying them to the building of the orphan-house: . cyrus, an idolatrous king, was used by god to provide the means for building the temple at jerusalem: how easy therefore for god to provide ten thousand pounds for the orphan-house, or even twenty or thirty thousand pounds, if needed. . the people were stirred up by god to help those who went up to jerusalem. thus it is a small matter for him to put it into the hearts of his children to help me, in desiring to build this house of mercy unto his name.�this meditation i had before breakfast. after family prayer in the morning i had again my usual season for prayer about the building, and at this time it was particularly coupled with thanksgiving for the l. received last evening, and with entreating blessings on the donor. i was now looking out for more, as i am doing day by day, when this afternoon i received from a person at clevedon s. d., from her grandson d., and from the sister in the lord, who brought the money, the change, which she did not wish back, being another d. these donations, though small, are nevertheless very precious to me, as i take them as further proofs out of the hands of god, that he will most assuredly bring this thing to pass. this evening i received one thousand pounds towards the building fund. when i received this donation, i was as calm, yea as perfectly calm, as if i had received a single penny, because, by god's grace, i have faith in him, and therefore am looking for answers to my prayers, and am sure that god will give every shilling that is needed. january , . this evening i received from bideford s, towards the building fund. jan. . one of the orphans gave d. jan. . received a little bag made of foreign seed, and a shell-flower, to be sold for the building fund. the sister who sent these articles wrote to me, that the moment she heard of my intention of building an orphan-house, this text was before her mind: "who art thou, o great mountain? before zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain."--zech. iv. . also one of the orphans sent d. having asked the lord to go before me, i went out today to look for a piece of ground. the armory which is to be sold had been several times mentioned to me, as a suitable place. i did not think so, yet thought i ought at least to look at it. having seen it and been confirmed in my judgment about its unsuitableness, i asked the lord whether i should turn towards the city or towards stapleton. i felt led to go towards the city, and saw immediately after some fields near the armory. after having made inquiry to whom they belonged, i have been led to write this evening to the owner of them, asking him whether he is disposed to sell them, &c. i am now quietly waiting the lord's pleasure. if his time is come to answer our requests as to a suitable piece of land, i shall be glad; if it is not yet come, i desire that "patience may have her perfect work, being perfect and entire, wanting nothing." jan. . this evening i received a reply to my letter. the owner of those fields writes, that, if he did sell them, it would be only for building land, and therefore they will be too dear. jan . went this morning once more to see those fields, which seem very suitable. met there mr. l., a land agent, who told me that they would be nearly a thousand pounds per acre, and therefore too dear. i asked mr. l. to inform me if he should hear of any suitable land for sale. jan. . one of the orphans having received half-a-crown from a cousin, gave s. d. of it towards building the orphan-house; a sister in the lord also gave me s., a ring, a pair of gold earrings, and a gold brooch. jan. . today i received from a gentleman of liverpool, who has been staying at clifton, l, and from the sister, through whom this donation was conveyed to me, i received l. more towards the building-fund. jan. . received a case with ladies' working instruments, to be sold for the building fund. two of the infant orphans also gave d. and d. jan. . half-a-crown was given today. jan. . from bideford l. s. jan. . the produce of a knitted handkerchief, sold for s, was given today; also s. d. by sale of two dolls; and some brethren at barnstaple sent l. as a token of their loving interest in this work. jan. . a sister in the lord gave s. d. jan. . it is now days since i have been daily waiting upon god about the building of an orphan-house. the time seems to me now near when the lord will give us a piece of ground, and i told the brethren and sisters so this evening, after our usual saturday evening prayer meeting at the orphan-houses. feb. . a poor widow sent today s. feb. . today i heard of suitable and cheap land on ashley down. feb. , saw the land. it is the most desirable of all i have seen.-- there was anonymously put into an orphan-box at my house a sovereign, in a piece of paper, on which was written, "the new orphan-house." feb. . this evening i called on the owner of the land on ashley down, about which i had heard on the nd, but he was not at borne. as i, however, had been informed that i should find him at his house of business, i went there, but did not find him there either, as he had just before left. i might have called again at his residence, at a later hour, having been informed by one of the servants that he would be sure to be at home about eight o'clock; but i did not do so, judging that there was the hand of god in my not finding him at either place: and i judged it best therefore not to force the matter, but to "let patience have her perfect work." feb. . saw this morning the owner of the land. he told me that he awoke at three o'clock this morning and could not sleep again till five. while he was thus lying awake, his mind was all the time occupied about the piece of land, respecting which inquiry had been made of him for the building of an orphan-house, at my request; and he determined, that if i should apply for it, he would not only let me have it, but for l. per acre, instead of l., the price which he had previously asked for it. how good is the lord! the agreement was made this morning, and i purchased a field of nearly seven acres, at l. per acre. observe the hand of god in my not finding the owner at home last evening! the lord meant to speak to his servant first about this matter, during a sleepless night, and to lead him fully to decide, before i had seen him. feb. . two dolls were given for sale, and one of them was sold for s. feb. . received from two of the orphans d. and d. also, one of the labourers in the orphan-houses gave s, and a poor man d. feb. . i wrote the day before yesterday to the architect, who has offered his help gratuitously. feb. . received from a sister in the lord l. received also from the architect the following reply to my letter: "my dear sir, "it will afford me a gratification, beyond what i can communicate by letter, to lend you a helping hand in the labour of love you are engaged in, and i shall esteem it a very great privilege being allowed to exercise my abilities as an architect and surveyor in the erection of the building you propose to erect for the orphans. i really do mean what i say, and, if all is well, by the blessing of god, i will gratuitously furnish you with plans, elevations, and sections; with specification of the work, so that the cost may be accurately estimated. i will also make you an estimate and superintend the works for you gratuitously, &c." feb. . this afternoon a little parcel was brought to my house, containing ten sovereigns and a little slip of paper, on which was written: "dear sir, �i have sent you ten pounds for the new orphan-house. it is the lord's doing. seek not to know my name." feb. . there came in s. d. by sale of articles. feb. . received the promise that on march th should be paid to me l. for the building of the orphan-house. feb. . received l. from sunderland. feb. . the architect kindly came from london. he considers the ground to be most suitable as to situation, drainage, water, &c. �i received also today from a sister l. feb. . received from a sister s., and from a brother l. the brother told me that never in his life does he remember to have given any donation with so much real pleasure as this l. this is of god. i own god's hand in this. he it is that inclines the hearts of his dear children towards this service. may he only be pleased to continue to give me faith amid patience, and i shall most assuredly see this building erected to the praise of his name! feb. . two of the labourers in the orphan-houses gave s. each�today the l. which had been promised on the th, was paid days sooner than promised. i rejoiced in this speed; for i remembered that word: "whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might: for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave, whither thou goest." march . received rings, brooches, mourning brooches, old silver thimbles, a silver guard, a small gold chain, pairs of earrings, polished stones, a bracelet, waist buckles, a silver mounting of a horn, and candlestick ornaments. march . from a brother in the lord l. march . from clevedon s., and from london d. march . from a young sister in the lord s. from a little girl at bath s. d.--also babies' pinafores for sale.-- little frocks, a pair of socks, and pincushions (also for sale).--likewise a dozen doilies. march . anonymously l. with these lines written in the paper: "wishing for the privilege of raising a few stones towards erecting the new orphan-house, the enclosed trifle is sent for that purpose.-- there will doubtless be a conspiracy from beneath, to fight against and to hinder the work; nevertheless let us make our prayer unto our god, and set a watch against them day and night." march . by sale of some articles l. s ½ d. march . from a sister in the lord s. march . a pair of knitted cuffs for sale. march . a lady at clifton gave l. march . a brother, having unexpectedly received a sum of money as a dividend from a bankruptcy, gave l. towards the building-fund, as "a thank-offering to the lord." april . anonymously l. april . four pairs of knitted socks were given for sale; and by a sister in the lord l., as "a thank-offering for mercies received." this l. comes at a season of a very great trial of faith, on account of a multiplicity of difficulties in which i am just now, and it is another precious earnest to me from god, that he will give me in every way what i need, after he has sufficiently tried my faith and patience.�there were also given stuffed birds and a pincushion. also cups, shells, a book-mark, and a watch guard. also a knitted cloth. april . anonymously s., and by sale of articles s. d. i received also the following letter from sunderland: "sunderland, april , . "beloved brother, "a year having now elapsed since our chapel was opened, and our god having signally blessed us in all things, the saints here have been stirred up to present a thank-offering to our father, and to give it for the new orphan-houses. i therefore send you in their name, the sum of l. etc." may . from a sister at bath s. may . by sale of articles s. "a widow's mite" l. may . from a brother l. may . from oxford l. may . from a sister in bristol l. june . through a sister s. d. june. . from leicestershire s., and from a sister in bristol s. d. that which has been stated above concerning the origin of the new orphan-house on ashley down, bristol, was published in the ninth report of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, which was issued in the year . in that report were added to the above, the following remarks, which i likewise give here again, in order that the reader may have a clear under-standing of the whole, and also the full particulars concerning this orphan establishment. . the total amount, which has been given for the building-fund, up to june , , is l. s. ½ d. this is only a small part of what will be needed, but, by the grace of god, i am in perfect peace, being fully assured that god in his own time will send the whole sum which is required. many and great have already been the exercises of faith and patient since i first began to give myself to prayer about this work, and still greater they may be, before it is accomplished; but god, in the riches of his grace, will help me through them all. it is now (june , ) days since i first began to pray about this work, and day after day, since then, have i been enabled to continue to wait upon god, and i am more than ever assured that, notwithstanding all my exceeding great unworthiness, god will condescend to use me, to build this house. had it been the excitement of the moment, the difficulties which have already come upon me in connexion with this work, (which are not stated here, on account of their occupying too much room) would have overwhelmed me; but as god himself, i trust, led me to this work, so he has helped me, and does help me, and, i doubt not, will help me to the end. . the house is intended to be built, so as to accommodate orphan girls above seven years of age, orphan boys above seven, and male and female orphans from their earliest days, till they are seven years old, together with all the overseers and teachers, etc. that may be needed. the infants, after having passed the age of seven, will be removed into the different departments for older boys and girls. . the plan of the building is, by the help of god, all but completed. scarcely anything more remains to be altered. . the building, however, will not commence till all the money, which is required, has been received. . the land and house will be invested in the hands of about ten brethren, as trustees, who shall be persons well known and of good report. . only such donations, ordinarily, will be put to time building-fund as are expressly given for it. i should only depart from this my usual mode, if the lord by some very great abundance of means corning in, or in other respects were to point out, that money not expressly given for the building-fund, was to be appropriated to it. it is therefore requested that donors will kindly state it, if they wish any donation put to the building-fund. miscellaneous points respecting the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, with reference to the period from july , , to may , . . during the whole of this period, day-schools, with children in them, were entirely supported by the funds of the institution. three day-schools besides were assisted. the number of the children that were taught in the day-schools, entirely supported by the funds of the institution, from march , , to may , , amounts to . during the period from july , , to may , , l. s. ¾ d. was spent on all the schools, which were either entirely or in part supported by the funds of the scriptural knowledge institution. �further, during this period there were also entirely supported a sunday-school with children, and an adult-school with persons attending it. the total number of adult scholars who received instruction, from the formation of this institution to may , , is . . during this period were circulated bibles, and testaments; and bibles, and testaments were circulated from the commencement of the work up to may , . l. s. d. was expended of the funds of the institution on this object, from july , , to may , . . from july , , to may , , was laid out for foreign and home missions the sum of l. s, d. of this sum was spent for foreign missions l. s. d, which was divided among brethren and sisters who labour in british guiana, one brother and sister in jamaica, brethren in india, one brother in prussia, and brethren in switzerland. the remainder, l. s. was divided among brethren who labour in england without any salary, and in dependence upon the lord for their temporal supplies. during no period previously was so much of the funds of this institution spent on missionary work, which arose from the fact, that, the more i corresponded with brethren who laboured in the word and doctrine in foreign lands, the more i saw how much they stood in need of assistance, and thus, my heart having been led out in prayer to god on their behalf, that he would be pleased to send me means, whereby i might be able to assist them, he was pleased to do so. this led me to purpose, as god should give me grace, to be still more mindful of them in future, and to seek to be able still more to assist them. the same was the case with regard to those brethren who labour in england, but who have no salary or stipend, but trust in the living god for the supply of their daily necessities; i did long to help such brethren, and had no doubt that god would enable me to do so. when i now, whilst preparing this fourth part of my narrative for the press, look back to this period, how greatly has god helped me since then even in this particular; for, of late years, he has enabled me to spend on missionary objects about seven times more than during the period now referred to. . there was laid out for the circulation of tracts, from july , , to may , , the sum of l. s. ½ d., for which fifty-two thousand and three such little publications were bought, which, with in hand on july , , makes , of which number were circulated the total number circulated from nov. , , to may , , amounts to . . there were received into the four orphan-houses, from july , , to may , , orphans, who, together with those who were in the four houses on july , , make up in all. of these: . one child died. . one boy left the institution secretly just when he was ready to be apprenticed, and went to his relatives. [in going over this account, for time sake of preparing it for the press, i cannot help making a few remarks on this case, for the sake of teachers, guardians, and parents, who are greatly afflicted by the bad behaviour of children or young persons. the boy referred to just now gave us for years much sorrow. all means, to bring him into a different state, seemed entirely lost. at last he was going to be apprenticed. his clothes and outfit for leaving the house were already prepared, when he secretly left and at last reached on foot the dwelling-place of an elder sister, in the north of devon, who is married to a master of a small vessel, a pious man. his sister and brother-in-law were greatly afflicted by his bad behaviour towards his friends in bristol. there remained, however, now nothing to be done, but that the lad should go with his brother-in-law to sea. after he had been some time at sea, one night there was a terrific storm, so that all hope of the vessel or crew being saved was gone. this poor lad now remembered the instruction which he had received in the orphan-house in bristol, and earnestly prayed to god for mercy, and turned to him. from that time, as the brother-in-law himself told me, this youth was a truly changed character, and proved by his godly deportment for several months afterwards, that he had the grace of god in him; for he continued walking in the fear of god, till about months afterwards, when he was drowned by falling overboard. may this encourage all who labour among the young, patiently to go on in their service. "they that sow in tears shall reap in joy." ps. , .] . six children were taken back by their relatives, who by that time were able to provide for them. . six boys were apprenticed at the expense of the institution, and five other boys, ready to be apprenticed, were sent to their relatives to be apprenticed. . two girls were apprenticed, and eight sent out to service, and one girl was sent to her relatives to serve them. there were on may , , one hundred and twenty-one orphans in the four houses. besides this, six apprentices were still supported by the funds of the institution, so that the total number was . the number of the orphans who were under our care from april , to may , , amounts to . i notice further the following points in connexion with the orphan-houses. . without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me, the sum of , l. s. ¾ d. was given to me as the result of prayer to god, from the commencement of the work up to may , . this sum includes the l. s. ½ d. which up to june , , was given towards the building fund. (it may be interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which was given as free contributions, for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , amounts to l. s. ¾ d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day-schools, amounts to l. s. ½ d.) . besides this, also a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, etc., were given for the orphans, as has been stated in the printed reports. the total expenditure for the orphans from july , , to may , , was l. s. ½ d., and for the other objects l. s. ¼ d. in conclusion i cannot but mention, to the praise of the lord, concerning this period, that four of the sunday-school children were admitted to communion. likewise three more of the orphans were received into church fellowship, so that up to that time, altogether of the orphans had been admitted. i also mention with peculiar joy, and as a matter for thankfulness, that of those who were apprenticed or sent out to service, from july , , to may , , ten were believers, most of whom had been for several years in fellowship, before they were sent out to service. but whilst we desire to receive these instances as precious encouragements from the lord to continue our service, we cannot but believe, judging from the many prayers the lord gives us for the children and adults under our care and instruction, that that which we see is but an earnest of a far larger harvest in the day of christ's appearing. matters connected with my own personal affairs, or time work of the lord in my hands, not immediately connected with the scriptural knowledge institution, from january , , to may , . soon after my return from germany, where i had been labouring for seven months in , and , of which i have written at length in the third part of this narrative, i had it laid on my heart to go there again for a season; but, before doing so, i felt called upon to prepare for the press a new edition of the first and second parts, and to write the third part of my narrative. for this, however, a large sum of money was required, as i purposed to print not less than copies. as i had no money of my own for this object, i gave myself to prayer, and, after having prayed several months respecting it, i received on december , , unasked for, the sum which would be needed to accomplish this object. dec. , . since brother craik and i came to bristol, believers have been received into communion, making with the whom we found in fellowship. of these, have fallen asleep, are under church discipline, have left us but are still in bristol, and have removed from bristol; so that there are only in communion at present. during this year have been received. the lord has been pleased to give me during this year� , through anonymous offerings in money, put up in paper, and directed to me, and placed in the boxes for the poor saints, or the rent, at the two chapels. £ , through presents in money, from believers in bristol, not given anonymously , through presents in money, from believers not residing in bristol . . . . , in presents in provisions, clothes, etc., worth to us at least £ to this is to be added, that, for the first two months and six days of this year, my expenses, and those of my dear wife, during our stay in germany, were met, as also our traveling expenses back, as stated in. the third part of my narrative. also during the whole of this year a christian lady gave to our dear child board and schooling without any remuneration, a present worth to us not less than l. on this point i cannot help making a few remarks. i had clearly seen it to be the will of god that my daughter should be brought up at school, and not at home. my reasons for it were these: , my dear wife, though well qualified, to instruct our daughter, so far as knowledge goes, was unable, on account of being engaged as my wife in a variety of things connected with the lord's service, to give herself uninterruptedly to this work; and to do it partially we judged to be injurious to our daughter. , i had seen instances in which a home education, for an only child, had turned out very badly. , i judged that the mixing with other children would be beneficial to our daughter, provided that intercourse was under proper oversight; as thus a child is in early life introduced into a little world, and things do not all at once come upon a young person, when at last obliged to leave the parental roof. , but that which most of all led me to this decision was, that, as in the church of christ the lord has qualified the members of the body for the performance of certain work, and all have not the same gift and service, so, in the same way, certain believers are called and qualified above others, for instructing children, and give themselves to this particular service, and that, therefore, i ought to make use of the qualifications of such, and of their having given their whole time to this particular service.-- these reasons led us to place our dear daughter at school, instead of educating her at home, and we have never had cause to regret the step we took, but on the contrary, have had abundant reason to praise god for it i have purposely made these remarks, as i am fully aware that some believers have different views on this subject, and i desire to serve them with the measure of light and experience i have obtained. after our daughter had been at school for half a year, i asked for the account, when it was stated to me by the christian lady in whose establishment she was, that she had a pleasure in educating her gratuitously. however, as i pressed the matter, i obtained the account. it was paid, but the exact sum was returned to me anonymously, which, of course, i found out at once to be from the christian sister at whose school my daughter was. from that time i could never more obtain the account, though my dear child was about six years longer at school. i refer to this point for this especial reason: god had laid it on my heart to care about poor destitute orphans. to this service i had been led to give myself; he, in return, as a recompense even for this life, took care that my own beloved child should have a very good education, free of expense to me. i was able, and well able to pay for her education, and most willing to do so; but the lord gave it gratuitously; thus also showing how ready he is, abundantly to help me and to supply my wants. january , . today i received the most painful information that a false teacher from switzerland had found his way among the brethren and sisters at stuttgart, and that through him several, yea almost all, to a greater or less degree had been drawn aside, and shaken as to the very foundations of their faith. i cannot describe how bitter the trial was to me to see the lord thus dishonoured, and my painful service for seven months during the previous year, to all appearance, entirely frustrated. the lord, however, laid these brethren and sisters on my heart in prayer, so that i was day by day enabled to bring them before god, and also to resolve, that, as soon as my path was made plain, i would go again to stuttgart for a season. may , . i have seen it more and more clearly of late, that the time is drawing near, when i shall go again to germany, to labour there for a time; for the brethren who had fallen into grievous errors are now recovering out of them, but need a helping hand to restore them fully, or at least to confirm them in the truth. in addition to this i purpose to publish some tracts in german. but though it is now four months, since i have been daily praying respecting this object, i never had been led to ask the lord to give me means for it, because i felt assured, that, when his time was come for me to go, he would provide the means; and also because i had never felt myself led to pray about it. today, however, i asked the lord that he would provide the means for all that is necessary in connexion with this service; and i had a secret satisfaction in feeling that so much was required, i.e. means for the journey to and fro, means for our stay there, means for the publication of tracts, means to be left behind for the work in bristol, to supply the need at least for a time, for i did not wish to go, unless it were the lord's will, and if so, he would give the means. now see how the lord dealt with me! about a quarter of an hour after had been in prayer with my dear wife respecting this object, and i had now, for the first time, asked him for means to carry it out, though for four months we had daily prayed together respecting spiritual success in this service, i received a letter containing an order for l. in the letter this was written: "i enclose * * * * l., which will be more useful in your hands than in mine. i mean it in the first place for all that is needed preparatory to and attendant upon your journey to germany, and, whatever the surplus may be, you will apply as you find there is need in the different parts of service under your care." thus the lord has fully answered our requests for means, and that so speedily! on july th my dear wife and i left bristol for stuttgart. as the letters, which i wrote to the church in bristol, in which i gave some account of my labours on the continent, have been preserved, i give them here, as they will furnish the reader with an outline of the lord's dealings with me during that period. stuttgart, aug. , . to the saints, meeting in the name of the lord jesus at bethesda and salem chapels, bristol. dear brethren, it is today four weeks since we left you. as i know that your love to us would like to know how the lord has been dealing with us since, and as i have abundant reason to speak well of him on account of his goodness and mercy to us since our departure; i gladly relate to you how it has been with us since we left bristol it was on saturday afternoon, july th, that we started for london. on the next day, the lord's day, i ministered twice in london, as also on monday evening. i was much helped in doing so, especially on the evening of the lord's day and on monday evening, and i could not but recognize the hand of the lord even in this, with reference to my leaving bristol for a season. on monday and tuesday we were much occupied in procuring our passports, and on wednesday at twelve o'clock we went on board the steamer for ostend. the lord mercifully carried us over the sea, although we were both very sea-sick, and about five o'clock the next morning we went on shore at ostend. having in a very little time, without any difficulty, obtained our luggage out of the customhouse, we left by the first train for cologne, at half-past six, travelled all that day, a distance of about miles, and reached cologne between nine and ten o'clock in the evening. we then travelled either in the rhine steamers, on the rail-road, or in an omnibus, the four following days also, yet so that we arranged to have time to ourselves, and reached stuttgart about eight o'clock on monday evening, july th. of the journey i would mention no more, than that on the last day we travelled with a most lovely and gracious brother, an english clergyman from sussex, with whom, after two or three hours i was so one in heart, that on getting out of the omnibus, in which we travelled together about miles, in order to walk up a long hill, we walked together arm-in-arm. it was most refreshing to our spirits to find so lovely a brother in this dark land. we spent a few hours together at stuttgart, and then this dear brother left for the neighbourhood of munich, the capital of the kingdom of bavaria, where his family is for a season.--i had written from bristol to one of the brethren at stuttgart, brother m�, an englishman, to look out for furnished lodgings for us, and i therefore called on him the next morning, july th, to see how far he had succeeded. i now learned that he had made every inquiry for me, and also advertised in the paper, and applied at an intelligence office, but that he had heard only of three apartments, and even these were unfurnished; for all the lodgings which were to be had were occupied by the deputies of the people, a sort of parliament in wirtemberg, who have once every three years their assemblies, and who had been for the last six months assembled in stuttgart. this was no small difficulty, as to stay at an hotel would have been very expensive, especially just now, as the assembly of the deputies has made a great difference in the hotels also. however, our comfort was, that, as we had come in the name of the lord, and according to his bidding, and that, after having daily prayed about the matter since the latter part of november last year, he would help in this thing also. we now went to the only lodging out of the three which was at all likely to suit; but we found that this was only to be had on nov. th, and not now, a lady having taken a whole floor of seven rooms, and wishing to let two of them. we saw the two rooms which had been offered, found them furnished, and asked to whom they belonged, when we learned that they were in the use of the owner of the house, who had sold the house, but would have the use of these rooms, as well as those in which he lived, till nov. st. now affectionately asked him, whether he would not let an have these rooms for a time, offering to pay any price, and give the money before-hand, as i was a stranger to him. he said he would consider it with his wife a few hours. my dear wife and i now gave ourselves to prayer, that, if it were good for us, the lord would be pleased to incline the hearts of these persons to let us have those two rooms, but i told him, at the same time, that i should not now press the matter further, having offered what i had; for after all he might have another place for us, where. he wished us to be. after two or three hours i went again, and as we required little as to attendance, and were of quiet habits, and required little alteration to be made in the way of furniture, these persons agreed to let us have those rooms; and that same afternoon we were able to leave the hotel and enter our lodging. and now hear the lord's goodness in this particular. the dear persons with whom we lodge are both christians, who are most kind to us, and obliging in every way. their servant also who waits on us is a most kind person. the house is in a healthy and quiet situation, and not far from our meeting-place, though without the city gates. in a word, we could not have wished better lodgings. and how did we get them? because all the apartments, usually let out as lodgings, were occupied by these or gentlemen of the parliament. moreover, to this house we came, through a mistake having been made; for the rooms we now live in were only intended to be let on nov. th. more, the persons with whom we live are evidently wealthy persons, a surgeon who has retired from his profession, and his wife, and who never had let lodgings. oh! how kind of the lord, to let circumstances be as they were, in order that we might, through this very difficulty, obtain such a dwelling-place. daily we feel the comfort of living with christians, though these dear persons belong to the state church. may this little matter lead us all, dear brethren, to leave all our affairs in the hands of our loving father; he arranges matters as they are best for us.-- during the first three or four days in stuttgart, i was especially poor and needy, and required every particle of courage not to be overwhelmed by the state of things here. everything seemed most dark. on tuesday evening when i went to the meeting, there were but eight present, and all i saw and heard gave me the impression of spiritual desolation, resulting from that false teacher from switzerland having come among the brethren here. in addition to this, my dear wife was taken very ill during the night from tuesday to wednesday, july to , so that for two days she kept her bed, and only on the fourth day was pretty well again. it was the result of sea-sickness and the great fatigue of the journey, i think. but the lord had mercy and brightened the prospect by increasing my faith. in addition to this, circumstances looked better almost immediately after my arrival, and i was constantly comforted by the knowledge, that only according to the lord's will we were here, and that he would not have sent us, if he had not some purpose to be accomplished by it. the first thing that occurred was, that, in answer to our many prayers in england, on the journey, and here, and also in answer to your prayers, dear brethren, the police gave me permission to stay here, a thing which, looking at it naturally, could not have been expected. still, this had always been my hope, because to stuttgart i felt to be my mission. the next thing was, that the moment my arrival became known, the poor scattered sheep were again drawn together, and other persons also, believers and unbelievers, came to the meetings, so that the first evening it was known i should hold a meeting, there were about persons present, and since then there have been repeatedly and upwards. this is a small number for england, but large here, and for our position in particular. the next thing was, our landlady told me that every monday afternoon a number of pious females met at her house, for two or three hours, to knit stockings for the moravian missionaries, and requested me to come and speak to them. this i now do every monday afternoon, expounding the scriptures to or of these females and our landlord and to an aged brother, who has been in the habit of attending these meetings. this is a new field entirely, and something else to show how the hand of god was in the matter of our lodgings. still more. on the last two friday evenings i have attended a meeting, at which about persons, belonging to the state church, meet together, most of them probably converted, and the others either seeking the lord, or religiously inclined. to this meeting i have gone for love's sake, to show that i really desire to be united, in spirit, with all who love our lord jesus. now at this meeting also, i have had opportunity to speak both times. in future also, the lord willing, i purpose to go to this meeting, and to embrace the opportunity which thus i may have of speaking what may be suitable under the circumstances. the character of the meeting is not in every way that which is according to the holy scriptures, but these dear brethren must be borne with, in order to help them on. about brethren sit round a table, being more intimately known to each other. they lead the whole meeting as to prayer, giving out a hymn, proposing the portion of the word of god for consideration, &c. they make remarks on it, and all the other or , or more or less, that may be present, listen. as i had called on one of these leading brethren, he asked me to sit at that table, and thus i have the right of speaking, which yet must be used very wisely, as these dear children of god may be able to bear it. but even if i were not to speak at all, my very presence would do good, with god's blessing, as they would see that i am desirous of being united with all who love our lord jesus; and i cannot but hope that thus prejudices will wear away, they will come to our meetings, and read my book. the continent is not like england. every particle of progress one is able to make here, is highly to be prized. the state of things is most interesting here. infidelity is most awfully showing itself, regardlessly trampling under foot god's word, and shamelessly and most impudently denouncing the whole as a fabrication; but, on the other side, there is evidently an inquiry after truth, and a seeking to know the truth from the scriptures themselves, and a beginning to be dissatisfied with cold dead forms. the lord also begins to work for us in other respects. the parliament of wirtemberg has also publicly considered the matter of the brother and sister who would not be married at the state church, and have recommended to the government of the country to consider the matter once more, and also to grant to us the privilege of being able to marry, without going to the state church, as they had already granted us "the administration of the lord's supper and baptism," as they call it. thus, with god's blessing, help will come in that way also; and i cannot but hope that this poor little gathering here, in which the devil has recently made such havoc, will yet be to the praise of the lord, and to the benefit of his church in the german states.--god has blessed my being here in bringing brother r. out of the errors into which he had fallen, having been led away by that false teacher from switzerland; but this brother reaps now bitterly the fruits of his want of watchfulness: that dear young sister who was converted while i was here before, his youngest daughter, is among those persons in switzerland, and another of his daughters is engaged to one of these persons--oh! how important, dear brethren, carefully and prayerfully to compare what we hear with the word of god. five days following, three times each day, this false teacher held meetings, and thus overpowered these dear saints completely; for they had no time left to consider and to pray over, and compare with the holy scriptures, what they heard, as, in addition to three meetings a day, they lasted till after o'clock at night.--i now attend eight meetings every week. sunday mornings at nine o'clock, exposition of the word, and in the afternoon at two we meet for the breaking of bread. the dear brethren have gone back to these unsuitable hours. on monday afternoon at three the exposition of the scriptures to those who meet together to knit for the missionaries, and on monday and wednesday evenings from to o'clock, scripture reading meetings, with the saints only who break bread. on tuesday and thursday evenings from eight to half-past nine, public exposition of the word. and on friday evening from half-past eight to a quarter before ten, i meet with the brethren who belong to the state church. besides this, my time has hitherto been much occupied in seeing brethren and sisters privately and the rest of my time, besides prayer and meditation, for my own soul and the work, has been occupied in preparing tracts for the press. five are already finished. i have translated into german: "the love of god to poor sinners," "the serpent of brass," and "the two thieves;" and i have written myself two tracts, on "lydia's conversion," and "the conversion of the jailer at philippi." in this work i purpose to continue, the lord willing, while we remain here, either writing or translating tracts, and then seeking myself, as much as i can, whilst here, to circulate them--oh! help me, beloved brethren, yet more and more with your prayers in all this important service. my position here is more important, and more interesting than ever; for god, "who comforteth those who are cast down," has comforted me, after the first three days of trial, and has given me a larger field for service than i had before.--we remember you daily in prayer, and gladly do so, and shall be truly glad to return to you, as soon as we can see it to be the will of the lord. farewell, beloved brethren. my dear wife sends to you her love in christ. should any of you wish to write to me, i shall be glad to hear from you; but please to write on very thin paper, on account of the heavy postage. the letters may be left at my house. your affectionate brother and servant in the lord, george müller. stuttgart, sept. , . to the brethren in christ, meeting in the name of the lord jesus at bethesda and salem chapels, bristol. my dear brethren, it is eight weeks today since we left bristol, and we have still abundant reason to say, that goodness and mercy have followed us every day. this i have in particular also to say in reference to the last four weeks, even since i wrote to you last. as we desire your thanksgiving to the lord for his goodness to us, and as we earnestly crave the continuance of your prayers, i write again, especially also as i judge that your love will be desirous of knowing further particulars about us and the work of the lord in my hands. since i wrote to you, i have continued to attend eight meetings a week, that is, three for exposition of the scriptures at our usual in meeting-place on lord's day mornings and tuesday and thursday evenings; the breaking of bread on the lord's day evenings (as we have altered the hour from in the afternoon to in the evening); two scripture reading meetings on monday and wednesday, at which, as well as at all our other meetings, there is given to every brother as much room for prayer, as there may be a desire for it. then i attend two other meetings a week, among believers or inquirers who are in connexion with the state church, one on monday afternoon at the house where we live, which has increased from about ten to about forty. at this meeting i lead entirely, and am the only speaker. then there is every friday evening another meeting, at which about persons assemble, which i have continued to attend, and where i have regularly spoken, together with other brethren. the shyness which there was at first is evidently wearing off, and last evening, when i took leave of them, having been there for the last time before our departure, the brethren were quite cordial. in addition to this, the lord has opened another new and important field. at the house of an elderly lady of title, of one of the ancient noble families of this kingdom, there is a meeting for ladies who work for charitable purposes. this meeting i have also been requested to attend for the purpose of expounding the scriptures, whilst the ladies work. i was there last tuesday afternoon, and shall be there again, the lord willing, neat tuesday. to all who attend this meeting i have therefore an opportunity of giving a copy of my narrative in german, about forty in all, as well as a copy of the eleven tracts which i have published, and thus the truth, with god's blessing, may be carried into the higher circles of this city, if not of this kingdom. truly, the lord gave, at the beginning of my sojourn here, to everything apparently the death-blow, that he might give me a larger field than i had had before. still it is even now but little in comparison with england, yet it is much for germany. indeed i have now as much work day by day as i can do. persons from the establishment come to see mind converse with me, and i might visit as many as i have time and strength for, and many more, and should be welcome. sept. . thus far i had written yesterday morning, when a pious gentleman of rank called on me, who, with his wife, feels the deepest interest about the work of the lord in bristol, of which they have gathered information through my narrative in german. this gentleman has been this morning to our poor meeting place also, and has invited me to his house to meet his friends. thus a new opening has been given. the remainder of yesterday was spent in seeing visitors, and the evening i spent among brethren belonging to the state church.--i have now been able to publish eleven different gospel tracts in german. they are as follows; ."the love of god to poor sinners," translation from the english, pages. . "the serpent of brass," translation, pages. . "the two thieves," translation, pages. . "lydia, the seller of purple," written by me, pages. . "the jailer at philippi," written by me, pages. . "the four most important questions answered," written by me, pages. . "grace," translation, pages. . "the poor man's best medicine," translation, pages. . "almost and altogether," translation, pages. . "what is a christian?" translation, pages. . "a just god and a saviour," translation, pages.--of each of these tracts twenty thousand copies have been printed, there are therefore two hundred and twenty thousand copies ready to be used by the lord. i tell you all these particulars, dear brethren, that you may now help me with your prayers, that god may be pleased to use and bless them. the especial intention respecting these tracts is, to state the gospel in a plain and distinct way. now one of my particular reasons for leaving you for a season, and labouring here was, to publish these tracts, and to circulate myself as many of them as i could. the latter i am now about to do in the following way. i have had a box made which will hold about thirty thousand tracts. this box will be filled and fastened behind the conveyance which i purpose hiring. our portmanteaus and other packages, as much as room permits, will be filled with copies of my german narrative. thus stored we purpose to leave on wednesday or thursday, sept. or , giving to each person we meet on the road a tract, and giving away in the towns and villages as many as may be wise, without raising a mob around us. in addition to this, as far as opportunity may allow, i purpose to speak with persons on the road. in this way we purpose to travel on, day after day, giving away tracts, and also my narrative, so that in every village and town, of a journey of or miles, at least a few copies of my narrative will be left, besides giving them to passengers on the road, and as many tracts as we can. in order to fill our stores again, i purpose to send to frankfort a large bale of tracts and books before us, also to eisleben, where luther was born, and to cassel. in this way i hope to be able to give away about copies of my narrative, and fifty or sixty thousand tracts. in addition to this, i am seeking to place with trustworthy brethren in this country, in switzerland, and in prussia, smaller quantities, to be given away as opportunity may occur. our route, as far as i can see at present, will be this: to heilbronn, heidelberg, darmstadt, frankfort, fulda, erfurt, eisenach, eisleben. the last place will be the furthest part of our journey. then we mean to return towards england by way of nordhausen, gottingen, cassel, elberfeld, dusseldorf, and cologne. the whole tour may take from to days, travelling day after day. all this i write to you, earnestly asking your prayers for us, on account of the following particulars: . that the lord would be pleased so to strengthen us in body, as that we may be able to continue travelling day after day for days or more. . that the lord would be pleased to give us suitable and kind drivers, that we may not have difficulty in our work in that way. . that the police may not be permitted to obstruct our service. . that our own souls may not suffer through this work, but rather be benefited. . that the lord would be pleased to direct the tracts and narratives into the hands of those very persons whom he means to bless by them. . that he would also be pleased to allow the weather to be of that kind, if it seem good to him, that our work may not be hindered.-- great unforseen hindrances and difficulties we may meet with in this service, yet it has now been with me the subject of prayer for several months, and in the name of the lord i enter upon it.--the especial reason why i go towards the north of germany is, because there this service is mostly needed, and there my narrative is not at all, or scarcely at all known, as the copies which i sent to a beloved brother in those parts for circulation, he could not conscientiouisly, as he says, circulate; i therefore mean myself to circulate the book there. and further, in those parts public meetings in abundance are held, in which the foundation truths of the gospel are openly attacked by persons who call themselves "the friends of light." there then i mean to distribute among the common people as many thousands of tracts as i can.--germany is in great agitation. light is increasing, there is a shaking in establishments; but there infidelity is also increasing, as well as democracy in politics. i watch with deep interest the state of things in germany, and were not my position in bristol what it is, i should remain longer here; but i judge it well to be back again, if the lord prosper our way, about the th of october. gladly should i have written many more tracts, they are also greatly needed, especially on subjects which are more particularly of importance for believers; but i cannot now stay longer, and must leave it to a time when the lord may honour me again to labour for a season in germany. sept. . yesterday i was again interrupted by visitors, so that i could not finish my letter. the gentleman, who called the day before yesterday, called again also yesterday. he was professor of medicine in the university of moscow in russia, and president of the evangelical consistory in that city. he seems deeply interested in the service in my hands. he was twice yesterday at our poor meeting place, and has invited me this evening to his house to meet some friends of his, clergymen and others. last evening there were present at the meeting for the breaking of bread about persons; besides those who broke bread. our departure is now fixed for thursday, sept. th; but after a dry season for or weeks, the lord has now sent rain, and we are entirely in his hands as to the weather, as a rainy season ill suit our intended service; but our lord, whose work it is, and not ours, will order this matter also as it shall be for his glory and our welfare. i reckon, beloved brethren, on the continuance of your prayers. we also, by the grace of god, continue to remember you day after day. we shall be glad indeed to behold your faces again, and yet we desire to be happy here, because we are in our lord's work: and indeed we are happy here also, though so far absent from the hundreds of dear saints whom we have so much reason to love. the little church here consists of , of whom do not live in this city, but in two villages at some distance, who can only from time to time come to the breaking of bread. that which they especially now need is, that one or more brethren should labour among them, and i would particularly commend this matter to your prayer, that the lord would be pleased to appear on their behalf in this particular; for it is not likely that things will go on well among them without pastoral care and without oversight. in some little measure order has now been restored among them, and i hope that the coming of that false teacher among them, nine months since, will finally be used by the lord for their furtherance. and now, greatly loved brethren, farewell. may the lord, as we continually pray, give to each of you according to your individual need. my dear wife, who helps me much in the work here in one way or other, sends her love in christ to you. your affectionate brother and servant in our lord, george müller. cassel, capital of the electorate of hesse cassel, oct. , . to the saints, assembling in the name of the lord jesus at salem and bethesda chapels, bristol. my very dear brethren, i long to tell you of the lord's goodness to us, since last i wrote you, and though this letter may reach you only three or four days before our arrival among you, still i would wish you to help us in praising the lord for his goodness to us. i now record his kindness in our service, as far as i remember it, from the day where my last letter heft off. i think it was on sept. th that my last letter was finished. on that afternoon i had the last meeting among the working females in my house. it had then increased to at least sixty, from about at the beginning. the evening of that day i spent among gentlemen and ladies of stuttgart, at the house of a gentleman who had invited me. there the lord gave me opportunity of testifying for him about hours and a half. the next afternoon i had a meeting at which about ladies were working for charitable purposes, at the house of a lady of title. to these and to their absent friends, i gave a copy of my narrative, in number, as well as a copy of each of the tracts which i have published. thus, with the lord's blessing, the narrative and the tracts may work among the higher or highest classes of the kingdom of wirtemberg. i simply mention this to show, dear brethren, what open doors the lord has given me, after the apparent death-blow upon everything at the beginning. how important that we should not be discouraged by appearances in the lord's service! on the same evening the last public meeting among the brethren at stuttgart was attended by about persons more than any previous time, either at this or my former visit. thus also the lord gave still further encouragement. on the following day, wednesday, sept. th, i took leave of various believers, not in communion with us; among the rest, of two pious clergymen at stuttgart, who treated me most kindly. this day was occupied with making all the arrangements for our journey, as i had to send many thousands of tracts before us to several places, not being able to carry in our carriage all the books and tracts, which we hoped to circulate on the journey. in the evening that gentleman called once more to see me, in whose house i had spent the monday evening, and with whom i had become acquainted a few days before, and who, since then, had attended all our meetings. i think i told you before, that he was professor of medicine at the russian university at moscow, and also president of the protestant consistory in that city. this dear brother takes a deep interest in my service, and has offered to circulate copies of my book, and copies of each of the tracts. we parted like old friends.--our prayer had been for a suitable carriage, and an obliging driver, on which so much of our service depended; but we were so occupied, that i could only order a carriage on the morning of our departure, thursday, sept. th, and the lord most signally answered our prayers; for we obtained a driver who was one of a hundred. he drove us three days, and was most obliging, so that we could not have desired a better driver; the carriage also was as if made for our work. at o'clock on thursday morning we set out, furnished with many thousands of tracts, and about , sent before us; also carrying with us about copies of my narrative, and having to take up copies on the way. about copies i was able to circulate at stuttgart whilst there. i should also say that i found several brethren with whom i could leave smaller quantities of tracts for circulation at stuttgart and else-where, especially an english brother, dr. m., who lives at basle, and who spends his whole time in circulating religious books and tracts, written in german and french. this brother came, three days before our departure, to stuttgart, so that i could arrange with him. indeed step by step has the lord prospered me in my feeble endeavours, mixed with sin as every one of them has been, and made it manifest, that, this time also, he bad sent me to germany. on thursday, september th, then, we set out, and while yet driving through the city of stuttgart i began giving away tracts, thus to begin the service at once, lest my hands should be weakened through delay. whilst going on, we continued offering tracts to the passengers on the road, and giving away now and then a copy of my book, and seeking especially to put some copies of it into every village and town. thus we went on the first day from stuttgart to heilbronn, a distance of about english miles. all went on most quietly. we were able to give away many hundreds of tracts, and about copies of my narrative, and to a few persons i had the opportunity of speaking a little. the second day's journey was from heilbronn to heidelberg. in the large towns we went on most quietly, lest there should be a running together of the people, and the appearance be a political disturbance. on this account i never give away tracts and books in towns, but on the road, or just before i come to towns, or after i have passed through them. yet now and then i have also given them away in towns in a quiet way; for instance, by going to a baker's shop, and buying a trifle and then giving a book. the second day from heilbronn to heidelberg we went on as before in our service, but in the afternoon we were tried in spirit. we observed a carriage at a distance behind us, with a gentleman in it, and his coachman before. he stopped more than once to converse with the people to whom i had given tracts. at last he obtained sight of my book also. thus he kept on driving behind us. our nerves were greatly tried by this. by the grace of god we were willing to suffer for his name's sake, even greatly, in this work; yet this matter greatly tried us, not knowing what the result might be. at last the carriage drove before us. then it stopped, and the gentleman lifted himself up, to have a full look at me, then he ordered his coachman to drive on, and they were soon out of sight. the next thing to be expected was, that in the next town the police would stop us in our service. however, we continued the work, and at last arrived at heidelberg, without having been stopped, and having given away more books and tracts than even on the previous day. the steady even course of service, under all difficulties, without any one's encouragement, and with the discouragement of many, requires not a little faith! we felt how weak our faith was! the third day's journey was from heidelberg. we continued again our blessed service. i had opportunity this day to put my narrative and tracts into the hands of ladies and gentlemen as well as poor persons. our opportunities for service were very many this day, and things went on quietly in the morning. in the afternoon, however, we were even more tried than the day before. we had travelled through wirtemberg and also the grand duchy of baden, and were now in the country of hesse-darmstadt, when i gave some tracts to some lads of a grammar school, whom we met before a town. but these lads followed us, accompanied the carriage through the whole town, and some distance out of the town, ridiculing us. we sat quiet, saying nothing at all. then i was addressed by a mail-guard who had seen me give away tracts and books, and who, having stopped the mail, asked for tracts for himself and the passengers, but evidently in a sneering way. this carried the news of our service before us, as the mail went much faster than we, and therefore our work was known in the next place, and a man ran out on our arrival to ask for books, and in consequence of this the attention of persons was arrested. nevertheless the lord helped us to continue the work, though somewhat tried in mind, being aware how much such work is opposed on the continent. a little while after, a light wagon drove quickly after us, and as i was walking by the side of the carriage, up a hill, a man got out, joined me, and asked for a tract. he then said: "who has allowed you to distribute these books?" i replied. "nobody, but i am a servant of jesus, and i desire to serve my lord. if, however, you can show me that what i am now doing is against the laws of the country i will give it up. as far as i am aware, it is not." he then asked me, what religion was contained in the tracts. i said not any one in particular, but that there were in them the truths of christianity, about which alone i cared, as i did not design by these books to increase any particular party. a few words more of this kind passed, and he then left me, drove on before us, and presently turned off from the turnpike road into a little bye road in the wood, where he stopped and read the tract which i had given him, which was, "the conversion of the jailer at philippi." i went on as before with the work, not tried in spirit, but yet my nerves were much affected by it. we meant only to have gone that day as far as darmstadt, the capital of hesse-darmstadt, but i engaged the driver miles further, to frankfort-on-the-main, in order that we might be out of the dominion of hesse-darmstadt, if through the mail-guard, or the last-mentioned person, who, to judge from his dress, was a government officer, the matter should be coming before the magistrates. at frankfort we arrived after ten on saturday evening, sept. th, having now been able for days to go on with the service. the next day, being the lord's day, we purposed to rest at frankfort which we much needed for body and spirit, especially also for the sake of asking the lord's blessing upon the work up till then, and to ask guidance for our future steps, mud his help and blessing for what remained of our work. we had intended, before we left stuttgart, to go to eisleben, such a distance from frankfort, as would require or days more travelling, and then all the way back to cologne. but on account of what had occurred the two previous days, we now began again to consider our steps, whether we should go on still further or not. nature wished to get back to england at once. nature shrank greatly from the continuance of this service. but after having strengthened ourselves in god, we came to the conclusion, that our first purpose was of god, and that we ought not to alter our plans, except we saw it most clearly to be the will of god; we therefore purposed (as we could only look upon the desire of discontinuing our tour as a temptation), to go on with our service, till by the order of the police we were prohibited. blessed be god who enabled us to triumph over the temptation! but to him is all the praise due; for had he not strengthened us in that hour, we should have been as those who, having put their hand to the plough, draw it back. i now set about making arrangements for the journey, as the carriage and horses, which i had engaged for the three previous days, had to return to stuttgart. our prayer was for another suitable driver, upon which so very much depended in our service. in this again we experienced most evidently the lord's willingness to answer prayer; for in the same inn at which our stuttgart driver had put up, it happened, by the ordering of the lord, that there was a driver from cassel, the place where i am now writing, who had taken a family to frankfort, and who was looking out for a job. with this coachman i agreed, to take us to eisleben, to stop there a day and a half, while i saw brethren in that neighbourhood, and then to take us to cassel. this engagement was for eight days. it was the more kind of the lord to allow me to find this person, as i went from place to place in frankfort to obtain a conveyance, but could not succeed in that large city; and the only one i could have had, would have been nearly twice as expensive as the one which i hired. on monday morning, then, sept. nd, we left frankfort, determined by the help of god to pursue our service, and, if need be, to suffer and to endure hardship in it. many tracts and books also were given away this day, and in the evening we reached schlüchtern, a small town before fulda. the next day at fulda i took up a large bale of tracts and books which i had sent before, and on tuesday evening we reached vacha. up to that time we had had fine weather; but we reached vacha in a heavy storm, it having rained heavily for hours, and lightened and thundered exceedingly. all night the rain continued, and in rain we left vacha for eisenach. our service now seemed over; but yet i managed now and then to put a copy of my book out of the carriage, when i saw an opportunity that it could be kept pretty dry. by the time we reached eisenach, which stands on the foot of the hill on which is the old castle called the wartburg, where luther translated the bible, the rain ceased and we had a fine afternoon, and in a few hours were able to give away more than books and many tracts. in the evening we reached gotha, capital of the small dukedom of saxe gotha. on thursday, sept. th, we came as far as a small town called arthern, and on friday, about o'clock in the afternoon, we reached eisleben. all these five days and a half we went on quietly in our service, none hindering us, giving away many books and tracts. here now we stopped two days, had some intercourse with brethren, and then left for cassel, which we reached in two days and a half, arriving here last evening. this morning i have been writing this letter and doing some other things needful for the journey, whilst my dear wife has been all the morning engaged in putting up tracts for the journey. if we can obtain a suitable conveyance, we purpose to leave this afternoon on our way to elberfeld, and, if the lord gives us grace, to pursue our service till we come to the rhine, and then by way of ostend to cross the sea for england, so that about or days after this reaches you we may have the joy of seeing you again face to face. it will be joy to us indeed to see you all again. farewell, beloved brethren. my dear wife sends her love in christ to you all. your affectionate brother and servant in our lord, george müller. i add a few remarks respecting this my service on the continent. . for about eight months before i left england, i had seen it to be the lord's will, that i should go again that year to the continent for a season, and had made my journey and service, during that period, a daily subject of prayer from nov. . i left bristol on july th and returned on oct. th, . . i should have greatly preferred to preach the gospel in the streets or in the market places in germany; but for that there was no liberty. i did therefore what i could, in spreading about eleven hundred copies of my narrative, and tens of thousands of tracts. in this i was particularly encouraged by remembering that that great work, at the time of the reformation, was chiefly accomplished by means of printed publications. . we travelled in a hired carriage for days, each day about or miles. i had a box, containing about thirty thousand tracts, made on purpose, behind the carriage, and in the fore-part several portmanteaus filled with tracts and copies of my narrative in german. as we went on, my dear wife and i looked out for travellers who were coming, or persons on the road side. it was just the time when the potatoes were taken up, and thousands of people were thus either close to the turnpike road, or only a little way from it. the front of our carriage had glass windows, so that we could see all the persons before us, and on each side. as soon as the carriage was near enough, i held the tracts or a copy of my narrative out to them, and requested them to accept them or sometimes beckoned the working people to come up to the carriage, which almost without exception they readily did, and then received a book or tract. in case of genteel persons, whom we sometimes met, i repeatedly ordered the driver to stop, and i got out of the carriage, and handed the books or tracts to them. often also i walked up a hill, and then conversed with the persons whom i joined, or gave tracts more extensively in this way. . the reason why we pursued this plan of travelling was, a, that i might myself circulate as many as possible; b, that the tracts and narratives might be scattered over as extensive a tract of country as possible; c, that i might be able to accomplish it, before the police could prevent it. on the road side, before entering villages and towns, or after we had left them, i gave away freely. now suppose this came to the ears of the police, as no doubt in many instances it did; before any measures could be taken, we might be at a distance of , , or miles from the spot; for we travelled, as i said, from to miles daily. this was indeed an expensive way of circulating the tracts, and wearing to body and mind more than can easily be perceived; but it was a most effectual way, and a precious service to be allowed to be engaged in for the lord. when we had finished our journey, lasting days, we were completely worn out for the time. . at first we sometimes threw down the tracts to persons, out of the carriage, when they were not near enough to have them handed to them. this, however, we discontinued on the second or third day; for i judged, that, as we would not throw down bibles, testaments, or smaller portions of the holy scriptures, so these tracts also, filled with the truth of god, and written for the honour of god, should not be thrown down; and that we would rather not give them at all, than in this way. i purposely notice this, as many christians are in the habit of throwing tracts out of a carriage, as i did at first. i might put them secretly in drawers, or on the table, or under the table-cover in inns, or elsewhere, where they afterwards might be found; but i could not feel any longer happy in not treating them with all reverence, because they contain the truth of god. . perhaps the reader may ask: what has been the result of this labour in germany? my reply is: god only knows. the day of christ will declare it. judging from the constant labour in prayer during months before we went the second time, and day by day while we were on the continent, and day by day for a long time after our return, i am warranted to expect fruit, and i do expect it. i expect abundant fruit in the day of christ's appearing. in the meantime my comfort is, that , tracts have been circulated, many of which through the providence of god found their way not only into the darkest places of the continent of europe, but went also to america and australia. further, the copies of my narrative in german, are almost all circulated. and again, the publishing of my narrative in german, led me to do the same in french, which was accomplished about three years later. further, these tracts were reprinted at hamburg and at cologne, and are circulated by other christians; in addition to which, my having published them in germany led me to get them stereotyped in england, and they continue to be circulated in many countries. . i only add, we continued our service in a similar way, after we had left cassel, from whence i wrote the last letter to the church in bristol; and in many respects it was the most interesting part of the service. december , . there have been received into communion during this year, and since our coming to bristol, which, with whom we found in fellowship, makes . of these, have fallen asleep, have been excluded, left us, and left bristol; so that there are only brethren and sisters in fellowship at present. during this year the lord has been pleased to give to me:-- . through anonymous donations in money, put up in paper and directed to me, and placed in the boxes for the poor saints and the rent, at the two chapels £ ¼ . through presents in money, from believers in bristol, not given anonymously . . . . . . ½ . through presents in money, from believers, not residing in bristol . . . through presents in provisions, clothes, etc., worth to us at least . . . ------ altogether £ ¾ to this is to be added, that my dear child had again during the whole of this year her education free at a boarding school, as stated at the close of the last year, whereby i saved about l. also my traveling expenses to and from germany, and other expenses, connected with my service in germany, were paid out of the l. to which reference has been made. adding these two items to l., i had at least l. esteemed reader, what do you think of this? is it not a pleasant thing, in the end, even for this life, really to trust in god? verily, thus i have found it to be, and thus do i find it to be, the longer i live. only there must be real trust in god, and it must be more than merely using words. if we trust in god, we look to him alone, we deal with him alone, and we are satisfied with his knowing about our need. two things i add, as i write my experience and the lord's dealings with me for the profit of the saints. . during the last year i resolved, that, by god�s help, i would seek to be more than ever a channel for the communication of god's bounties, and to communicate to those in need, or to give to the work of god. i acted according to the light which god gave me, and he condescended to make me his steward in one way or another far more abundantly than ever before. would we wish to have means intrusted to us by the lord, or to succeed in our trade, business, profession, etc., we must be truly desirous of being his stewards, and only his stewards. read what i have written at length on this subject within the last twenty pages of the third part of this my narrative; and, if you have read it before, read it yet again. . in looking over my journal, i find that during this year also i was more than once without a shilling, yea without a penny, though my income was about l. april , . today my beloved wife and myself had the inexpressibly great joy of receiving a letter from our beloved daughter, while we are staying in the lord's service at chippenham, in which she writes that she has now found peace in the lord jesus. thus our prayers are turned into praises. about mouths before this i began especially to pray for the conversion of my dear child, and the lord soon after seems to have begun to work in her heart. i knew little of her state of mind before receiving her letter, for i did not wish to force anything upon her of a spiritual character, but leave her to be attracted by the loveliness of the things of god. after hearing from her in april, , she was not received at once to communion, but, being so young, i judged it desirable to watch the work in her soul. towards the end of the year, however, my fellow-labourers being fully satisfied, she was baptized and received into communion, when she was years and months old. supplies for the school-bible�missionary and tract fund, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . during no period, from the commencement of the operations of this institution up to may , , was i intrusted by the lord with such large sums, as during the one to which this chapter refers. i had never had more need of pecuniary supplies than during those two years, on account of the many pressing calls; but, at the same time, i had the exceeding great joy and privilege of being able to respond to them in such a way as i had never before been allowed to do. these remarks apply to all the various objects of the institution, but especially to the supplies for brethren who labour at home and abroad in word and doctrine without being connected with any society, or without having any regular salary for preaching the word. on may , , after the accounts had been closed, a check for l. was given to me, the application of which was left to my disposal. i put half the amount to the fund for these objects, and half to the orphan-fund, when the accounts were closed, there was l. s. ¾ d. in, and for these objects, to which this l. was added; therefore i began this period with more means than i had had in hand at any time previously at the beginning of a fresh period; and as was its beginning so was the continuance. it has often struck me, that one especial reason why, on the whole, i was allowed to have so little trial with regard to means for the work during those two years, in comparison with former times, may have been, that thereby the lord would say that he was willing to give what would be needed when once the new orphan-house should be built, though the expenses would be about two thousand five hundred pounds a year more than they were before. another reason also may have been, because in many other ways trials of faith and patience came upon me in connexion with the institution during those two years, that therefore the lord may not have exercised me so much by the want of pecuniary means as before. but especially also one reason, why the lord generally gave me so great an abundance during those two years, seems to me this, that it might be seen, not only how he can help us day by day when we are poor, but also how able and willing he is to cause us to abound, when this is for his honour and for our profit. june , . to day was given to me, just when i rose from my knees, after having asked the lord for more means, especially for missionary purposes, the sum of l., with the request to use of it l. for the orphans, l. for labourers in england; and l. for labourers abroad. july . besides several small donations which came in since june , i received today l., of which one half is intended by the donor for the orphans, the other half for these objects. july . today i received one hundred pounds from a donor who had lost about one half of his property, and who gives this donation as "a thank-offering to god for having left to him as much as he has." i put one half of this donation to the funds for these objects, and the other half to the orphan fund. aug. . about l. more has come in since july th. during the last two days i have sent l. to foreign labourers, and l. to brethren who labour in england; and having thus begun to reduce our missionary fund, the lord gives fresh supplies. the evening before last was sent to me l. from ludlow. today i received l. from scarborough, of which l. is for missionary objects, and l. for the orphans. thus the lord gives me the desire of my heart, to help more and more the dear brethren who labour in word and doctrine, either in this country or in foreign lands. from the commencement of this institution on march th, , it had been my desire to employ part of the funds with which i might be intrusted, in aiding missionary brethren in foreign lands, who are not supported by any regular salary; and for several years i have likewise had the desire to assist brethren, labouring in similar circumstances, in great britain and ireland. the lord also had given me the great privilege to assist such brethren more or less during the time that this institution had been in operation; but especially he began during the two years, to which this chapter refers, to allow me to do so in a far greater degree than before. i knew it to be a fact, that many brethren, who preach the word, without having any salary for doing so, or property to live upon, were in need. now it might be said that such brethren ought to trust in god; that, if they preach jesus as the only hope for the salvation of sinners, they ought to set them a good example by trusting themselves in god for the supply of their temporal necessities, in order that unconverted persons thereby might be led to trust in the lord jesus alone for the salvation of their souls. this is true, quite true. preachers of the precious good news of salvation to every sinner who puts his trust in the merits of the lord jesus, ought indeed themselves to depend upon god, their lord and father, for the supply of their temporal necessities; but i also felt that i, as their brother, ought to seek to help them as far as lay in me. to this i set myself more than ever after the beginning of the year , as i knew, that, from particular causes, there was an especial call to help such brethren; and as my own means would go but a little way, i gave myself to more earnest prayer than ever for such brethren. the result was, that, during the two years of this period, the lord so answered my daily supplications with regard to this particular, that i was honoured to send nearly three times as much to home and foreign labourers, as during any previous period of the same length. , l. s. d. was spent in this way, by which twenty-one brethren were assisted who laboured in foreign lands, and nineteen who laboured in great britain and ireland. large as this sum is, in comparison with what i had been able to do in this particular in former years, yet it is small, very small, in comparison with what my heart desired to be able to do for these forty brethren. it has frequently, yea almost always, so happened, that the assistance which god has allowed me to send to such brethren, has come to them at a time of great need. sometimes they had no money at all left. sometimes even their last provisions were almost consumed, when i sent them supplies. some of them are fathers of large families, or have sickly wives and children; some were once well off in this world, but for christ's sake have become poor; and some have had for christ's sake their all taken from them. is it not an honour to help such brethren? i could fill hundreds of pages by giving extracts from the letters of the dear brethren to whom i have sent help, and they would be greatly to the edification of the reader; but i do not feel free to do so.--as i have not only been labouring for these brethren in prayer that god would intrust me with means and allow me the privilege of helping them, but as i also have asked god to direct me especially to send to those who might be in particular need, in case i could not help them all; and as i have sought by an encouraging word to strengthen their hands in god; there is great reason to believe, that these dear brethren have not only been helped by these pecuniary supplies in a temporal point of view, but also that the fact, of god sending them help in their extremity, has tended to refresh and strengthen their hearts, and to lead them more and more to trust in him. sep. . l. more has come in since aug. st for these objects, and today there was given to me l. s. d. for home and foreign labourers, for present use for the orphans, and for the other parts of the work. thus i have again the desire of my heart given to me in being able to assist a number of dear brethren at home and abroad, to whom i desired to send help. of this sum i took l. s. d. for these objects, and l. for the orphans. sept. . since the th i have sent out about l. already for brethren who labour in england and foreign lands. this morning i received from c. w. l. more for missionary objects. oct. . this morning's post had brought no means. whilst walking in my little garden for meditation and prayer, i said to myself--"though the post has brought no means, yet the lord can send even this day rich supplies." it was not two minutes after this, when a letter was handed to me, which had been brought that moment, containing two fifty pound notes and these words: "my little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth."�- l. for missionaries; demerara and others, dependant on god for supplies. l. for home missionaries, dependant on god for their support. l. for the orphans. l. for the poor of bethesda and salem church. l. for mr. müller. l. for mr. craik. l. for bibles and testaments. l. for rent, &c. of chapels."�-thus i had a fresh answer to my prayers, which had been again brought before the lord this morning, that he would enable me still more to help the dear brethren who labour at home and abroad in dependence upon him for supplies. dec. . during the last two months about l. more has come in, chiefly for missionary purposes. of these donations, about eighty in number, i only mention that there was given on nov. , the sum of l. s., being the tenth part of profits arising from shares which a brother has in coal mines. �now today, dec. , i received l. more for these funds, which i took as a further precious answer to my supplications to god, for help for home and foreign labourers, and for means to procure a fresh stock of tracts. march , . often of late have i besought the lord that he would be pleased to give me more means for those objects. for more than nine months we have on the whole abounded more than at any time during the thirteen years since this work first began; but now there was only l. left for the support of six day schools, two sunday schools, an adult school, and the circulation of bibles and tracts. often also of late had i entreated the lord that he would be pleased to condescend to use me still further as a steward, in allowing me to send help to the many dear brethren whom i know labouring at home and abroad without any salary, the need of many of whom i knew. under these circumstances i received this morning l. with the following lines: "dear brother, "i have pleasure in sending you l. on account of labourers in the lord's vineyard at home and abroad, and l. for other work in your hands. "yours very affectionately, "* *." thus my request was in a measure answered with regard to home and foreign labourers, and by taking half of the l. for the schools and the circulation of bibles and tracts, i had also something for these objects. the other l. i put to the orphan fund. march . the l. for home and foreign labourers was soon portioned out. the difficulty was not to spend it, but how to make it do, so that all, who seemed to me to need, might get a little. on this account i prayed still further during the last four days for means for home and foreign labourers, and now this morning, when i arose from my knees, after having again asked the lord about tills matter, i received a letter in which c. w. sent me l. for missionaries. april . i have been praying day by day, ever since i was able during the last month to send about l. to home and foreign labourers, that the lord would be pleased soon again to give me means for them, on account of their great need; indeed, all our means were so exhausted, that i had only just enough, for tomorrow evening, to meet the weekly expenses connected with the six day schools, when this morning i received l. for these objects. what a precious help! how is my heart refreshed by this seasonable answer to prayer!--almost immediately after this donation had been given to me, i received a letter from demerara about the great need among the brethren who labour there, by which intelligence the seasonable help, just received, has become still more precious to me. thirteen other small donations came in between april th and may th, and on may th i received l. for missionary purposes. on june th was given l. for missionary purposes. june . for the whole period, since the accounts were last closed, more than months since, we have not been so poor with regard to these funds as today. last evening i paid out the last money to the brethren who labour in the day schools, in giving them their weekly salary. under these circumstances a brother in the lord, who resides about miles from this, and who had been staying in my house two days, gave me l. to dispose of as i thought best, only that missionary brethren should be remembered. i took therefore l. for missions, and the other l. for the school�bible and tract fund. what a seasonable help! july . today was given to me, when now again the money received on june th for the schools, &c., had been all but entirely expended (as only little had come in since), the sum of l. for these objects. aug. . great had been my desire to send fresh supplies to the home and foreign labourers. day by day had i been again praying for means for them since july th. now also i had nothing in hand for the bible and tract fund; and as to the schools, there was not nearly enough to pay the weekly salaries to the teachers next tuesday evening, when i received this evening l. for these objects. aug. . this morning i received still further from c. w. l. for home and foreign labourers. sept. . day by day i am bringing before the lord the necessities of the home and foreign labourers, whom i seek to help, especially as i found in what great need some brethren were, when a short time since they received the help which the lord allowed me to send them. now this afternoon received from norwich l. s. for missionary purposes, and also rings, a cornelian necklace., an amber necklace, and a pair of amber bracelets. oct. . i have now been again praying much for many days for means for home and foreign labourers as well as for means for the other objects, having very little in hand, and having reason to believe that several of the brethren whom i seek to help are in great need. this evening i received from a brother, as the first fruits of his salary, a sovereign for home and foreign labourers. i take this as an earnest out of the hands of god that he will soon send me more.--received also s. oct. s. this morning i received the following letter, at the very moment while i was on my knees, waiting still further upon the lord for help for the various objects, and especially also for means for home and foreign labourers. "* * * *, oct. , . "beloved brother, "the enclosed sum of l. is in my hands, and it does not appear that the lord has need of it here, either for my own wants, or others under my notice. it seems likely that he may have need of it for the help of missionary labourers, who are depending on himself. would you kindly dispense it, as you may see good, to any who are labouring in the word at home and abroad; or if you see other pressing need for it among the saints or for the orphans, use it rather for them, &c." i took the whole of this donation for these objects, as evidently coming in answer to prayer for them. oct. . the very great need of some of the dear brethren who labour in the word, and whom i seek to assist, had led me again day by day to bring their cases before god. i also needed help for the school�, bible and tract fund. now this evening the lord has once more helped me by a donation of l., of which i took l. for the orphans, l. for home and foreign labourers and l. for the school, bible and tract fund. how seasonable and how precious this help! how precious to me as the fruit of many prayers, and how seasonable to many who are in need, and who will be thus assisted! moreover, i am just now in deep sorrow and great trial, the cause of which i will not mention here; and thus god himself cheers and refreshes my heart, and tells me by this fresh precious and manifest answer to prayer, that he is mindful of his poor unworthy servant, and of the work in which he is engaged. there came in five small donations besides today. dec. . when in the greatest need, so that i should not have been able to pay the weekly salaries of the teachers of the day schools next tuesday, i received today from c. w. l., the disposal of which being left to me, i took half of it for the school fund and half for the orphans. dec. . the year closes under the smiles of our heavenly father upon this work, in giving us another proof that he is indeed mindful of our need and attentive to our supplications. i received today l., to be used as most needed. i took of it l. for these objects and l. for the orphans. i scarcely ever received a donation more seasonably; for there are only means enough for next week for the teachers, bibles and tracts are needed, and i have been long waiting upon god for means for home and foreign labourers. but this donation only furnishes me with means for present necessities for the schools, and to order some tracts. as to ordering bibles and sending help to foreign and home labourers, i must still further wait upon god. jan. , . today i received still further, for the benefit of the day schools, the sum of l. jan. . only l. s. has come in since the first. this evening l. was given to me, of which the donor intends l. for home and foreign labourers. the other l. was left at my disposal. i took therefore of it l. for the orphans, l. for the various schools, l. for the circulation of the holy scriptures, and l. for the circulation of tracts. feb. . there came in about l. more for missionary purposes during the month, of january, and today was given to me a donation of l., the disposal of which being left to me, i took half of it for these objects, and half for the orphans, and thus i am able, after much waiting upon god for it, to send a little more help to brethren who labour in the word. april . this is only the second time, since may , , that the means for these objects have been completely exhausted, though we have been two or three times besides brought very low in funds. the last money there was in hand was spent in paying the weekly salaries of the teachers the day before yesterday. there was therefore nothing for this purpose for next week, nor were there any means for the circulation of bibles and tracts, and for aiding missionary efforts. under these circumstances prayer and faith were again resorted to. for my universal remedy in need of any kind is, to make known my requests unto god, and then i seek to believe that god has heard me for his dear son's sake, and i look out for answers to my petitions, and fully expect them. i had also particularly requested four brethren, masters of the boys' day schools, to help me with their prayers, as i should not be able to pay them their weekly salary, next week, except the lord were pleased to send in means.--thus situated, i received this morning, as the fruit of many supplications, the sum of l., which was a great refreshment to my spirit. it being left to me to use this money as needed, i put l. of it to the funds for these objects, and l. to the orphan-fund. thus we are once more helped, and my heart is encouraged more and more to trust in god. april . one of the labourers gave l. for missionary purposes, whereby at least one of the most needy among the brethren who labour in the word could be helped.--it has pleased god not to allow me, during the last five months, to have the honour of helping the dear brethren, who labour in the word, to the same extent as the eighteen months before. i confess that i am not worthy to be used any longer by the lord as a steward, to assist these his servants; still my heart craves after it, and still prays that god would count me worthy for his dear son's sake to supply me with means for them, as i know they are in great need, and many of them, through particular circumstances, in far greater need than ever. may , . by the lord's faithful love i have been enabled to meet all the heavy expenses connected with these objects during the last two years, amounting to nearly two thousand six hundred pounds, and at the same time owe no one anything, and have a balance of l. s. ¼ d. left in hand. supplies for the support of the orphans, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may, , . may , . scarcely ever had we so much in hand, and certainly not for the last eight years, when the accounts were closed, as at this time. this evening i received l. it being left to me to apply this sum as i felt led, and as it might be needed, i put half of it to the orphan fund, and the other half to the fund for the other objects. june . today i received l. for the orphans together with l. for the other objects. this money came the instant after i had risen from my knees, to ask the lord for more means, as, on account of needing about l. for the printing of the report, l. for oatmeal, l. for fittings, l. for rent, and l. for the sisters who labour in the orphan-houses (which sums are shortly to be paid), we shall soon again need more. jan. , . for the whole of this period since may , , therefore nearly eight months, when the accounts were closed, we have had always an abundance of means, and for the greater part of the time about l. in hand. the sum of one thousand sixty-five pounds has come in for the orphans in less than eight months, to which is to be added the balance of l. s. ¾ d. in hand when the accounts were closed. invariably i have thus been able to give to the matrons of the four orphan-houses the money in advance, which was required for the necessities of one week. but now, after having paid away last evening l. s. for the house-keeping of a week in advance and for other expenses, the money which remains in hand is needed for rent, and oatmeal, which has been ordered from scotland. this morning therefore i gave myself particularly to prayer with regard to means for present use for the orphans. how blessed to have the living god to go to! particularly precious to know him in these days of widespread distress! potatoes are too dear for food for the orphans at this time. the rice, which we have substituted instead of them, is twice as dear as usual; the oatmeal more than twice as dear; and the bread one-half dearer than usual. but the riches of god are as great as ever. he knows that our expenses are great. he knows that a little will not do in these days, when provisions are so dear, as there are about persons to be provided for, including teachers and apprentices. my soul is at peace. � evening. about noon i received from a pious physician the following note, with a check for l. "my dear sir, i send you something towards buying bread for the orphans. the dearness of food must be felt by many; but the lord in judgment is nevertheless gracious he will sustain. i am your sincere friend and well-wisher. "* * * *" from maidenhead i received still further this evening s. jan. . having had to pay out this morning l. s. d. for oatmeal for present use, before the arrival of the larger quantity of a ton and a half ordered from scotland, there was again only s. d. left of the money which had come in yesterday. about o'clock this afternoon i received l. through a christian lady of bristol from "a poor gardener." there came in also-still further s. by sale of reports and l. s. d. from london. jan. . a brother from devonshire came here on business, to obtain some money which was owed to him. he did not obtain it; but god used him as an instrument to bring me some money, for he gave me s. for the orphans. there came in still further by sale of trinkets and old silver l. s. d. jan. . by sale of books and some music l. s. jan. . profits from the sale of ladies' bags l.--during this period also two sisters kindly made some ladies' bags and baskets, and gave the profits arising from the sale for the benefit of the orphans. on the th and th came in still further l. s. ¾ d., so that, when in the evening of the th at our usual weekly meeting for prayer and conference i met with the brethren and sisters, who labour in the various day schools and orphan-houses (then seventeen in number), i was again able, by means of the l. s. ¾ d., which the lord had sent in during the week, to give to the four matrons of the orphan-houses all the needful supplies for the coming week. that which remained was put by towards the rent of the houses. our prayer now was, that the lord would be pleased again to send in fresh supplies, that we might have at the next meeting all that might be needed for the week after. feb. , tuesday. when we met this evening for prayer and conference, it was found, that, whilst there had been nothing left in hand after our meeting this day week (except money put by for oatmeal and rent), there had come in altogether during the week l. s. ½ d. the way in which the lord supplied us with those means was as follows: on the th and th i received s., and s. as profits from the sale of ladies' bags. on the th from london l., and also s. from c. c. l. from braunton a purse with s. from barnstaple l. on the th anonymously from london, from j. w. a., l. with these words: "from the giver of all, through one of his stewards." on the th from sodbury s. d. on the th from droitwich s. d. also anonymously by post s. worth of postages with these words: "a sip of milk and a crust of bread for a poor orphan." also from c. c. s. on the st an old shilling and sixpence, a small silver pencil case, and a pair of small ear-drops.-- feb. . before breakfast i took a direction in my usual morning's walk, in which i had not been for many weeks, feeling drawn in that direction, just as if god had an intention in leading me in that way. returning home i met a christian gentleman whom formerly i used to meet almost every morning, but whom i had not met for many weeks, because i had not been walking in that direction. he stopped me and gave me . for the orphans. then i knew why i bad been led thus; for there is not yet enough in hand, to supply the matrons tomorrow evening with the necessary means for housekeeping during another week.--there came in still further today for needlework done by the orphans l. s. d. also s. d., the contents of an orphan box.--on feb. nd came in l. s. d., by sale of a report d., and by sale of stockings s. d.--on jan. th a box came from london. it contained brooches, a gold chain, pairs of earrings, gold watch hooks, a locket, a ring, parts of gold chains, a rich silk dress, a silk cloak, a glass bottle, some music, books, knitted doilies, and a pair of knitting pins. some of these articles were today, feb. , sold for l. s. d.--there came in further by the sale of articles and reports, s. d., by the boxes in the orphan-houses and at my house l. s., and anonymously was sent s. worth of postages. here then, dear reader, you have a specimen how the lord does week after week supply us--i said l. s. ½ d. had come in during the week. as, however, i was informed that the arrival of the oatmeal from scotland had been announced, and that it was much dearer than i had expected, i.e. nearly three times as dear as formerly, i found that there had not been sufficient money put by, and took therefore in the first place what was yet needed for that. in consequence of this i had only l. s. left for housekeeping, which i divided among the matrons, being fully assured that the lord would again send in means, before that was spent. i went home in great peace, though all the money i possessed for present use for the orphans was only three half-farthings. feb. . yesterday nothing had come in. this morning, just before i was going to give myself to prayer about the orphans, a sister in the lord sent a sovereign, winch she had received, as she writes, "from a friend who had met the orphan boys, and was particularly pleased with their neat and orderly appearance." after having received this l., i prayed for means for present use, though not confining my prayers to that. about a quarter of an hour after i had risen from my knees, i received a letter, with an order for l. the donor writes, that it is "the proceeds of a strip of land, sold to the railway company." what various means does the lord employ to send us help, in answer to our prayers!-- about half an hour after having received this l., there was sent s., being the profits from the sale of ladies' bags. this evening was received still further, by the sale of some trinkets, l. s. thus i am able to send all the remainder of the money, which is yet needed for housekeeping up to tuesday, feb. th. the lord's holy name be praised for this fresh precious help! feb. . l. s. d. has come in today. feb. . lord's day. yesterday nothing had come in. in two days again about l. will be needed for housekeeping, and there was only about the tenth part in hand. but i was not in the least disturbed about this. there are also new clothes to be found for the orphans in the boys' orphan-house, which likewise will cost many pounds. that expense also, i believed, god would help me to meet. now observe the lord's kindness! on returning this morning from the meeting, i found the following letter containing l. "* * * *, feb. , . "beloved brother, "having been led, during the past year, to see the unscripturalness of life insurance, which i had been carrying on for some years previously, i now enclose you the sum which i received from the office, on returning to them my policy, viz. l. s., and the payment due about this time, eleven guineas, as a thank-offering to the lord for having, chiefly by means of the work in which you are engaged in bristol, opened my eyes in some little measure to his will with regard to his pilgrim people here. i ask your prayers on my behalf, dearest brother, amongst the many who must be on your heart, for singleness of eye, to walk with god by faith, that �the whole body may be full of light,' and that i may not be permitted to darken the little light i have, by serving any other master. i add also ten pounds, which you will kindly apply to the help of those who are labouring in the gospel abroad, or if more urgent, at home. also will you oblige me by accepting six pounds for your own use. of several reports (which you sent me for distribution) i have received payment for three, for which i enclose one shilling. the first items please apply for the use of the orphan-houses, as you may see best." &c. thus the lord has given by one donation l. for the orphans.--i have also in this another answer, in receiving l. for missionary brethren, for whom i had of late been especially seeking help from the lord.-- this evening i received still further from c. c. l. s. ½ d. feb. . there was received today by sale of articles l. s. d. when i met again this evening with my fellow-labourers for prayer and conference at one of the orphan-houses, it was found that l. s. ½ d. had come in for present use for the orphans during the past week, which commenced with three half-farthings in my hands; so that there was enough for all the expenses connected with the house-keeping of the coming week, and the rest was put by for the rent, the apprentices, and the boys' clothes; and as to the necessities of this day week, when again fresh supplies will need to be given to the matrons, i am looking to the lord. feb. . this evening we hare received already a little towards the expenses of the coming week. a brother gave me l., of which l. are for the poor irish and l. for the orphans. also s. d. from the orphan-box of a sister. feb. . anonymously s. d. from nottingham l. s. feb. . anonymously, from a lady, l. to buy coals for the four orphan-houses. feb. . anonymously from islington a half-sovereign. by sale of reports d. feb. . through a sister s., from c. c. s. d., and anonymously s. d. feb. . from a scotch sister l., by sale of stockings, reports, and articles l. s. d., from an orphan- box s. o ½ d., from nice l., anonymously s., from cork s. d., and several shillings besides in small donations, &c.--thus there had come in again by this tuesday evening, feb. th, l. s. d. during the past week. as, however, i had to put by some money for the boys' clothes and rent, i could only leave l. s. with the matrons, quite sufficient for a few days; and my hope in god is, that he will send more, before this is gone. feb. . from the neighbourhood of bridgewater s. d., and s. d. came in besides. on the th came in l. more. feb. . this morning i gave myself again to prayer, importuning the lord that he would be pleased to send more means, as so little had come in during the last two days. almost immediately, after rising from my knees, i received from doncaster l. s. at the same tune i received from bromyard s., and s. from aberystwith. about an hour later came from a sister in the neighbourhood of wotton-under-edge s. d., a lady's bag, and a knitted bread-basket cloth. thus, with the l. s. already given to the matrons, we are supplied till next tuesday evening, the rd of february. feb. . today came in from the neighbourhood of castle cary s., by sale of reports l. d., and by sale of articles s. d. also anonymously a parcel from tetbury, containing shillings, a gold coin, a silver coin, copper coins, a brass coin, gilt brooches, silver brooches, gold brooches, collars, a waistcoat, a pair of boots, cloaks, and a shawl. feb. . from c. c. s., and l. with these words: "your heavenly father knoweth that ye have need of these things," and philip iv. . how true! my heavenly father knew that we had need of this, and therefore put it into the heart of this donor to give this l. for in two days we shall again require many pounds more than i had this morning. also how truly is again fulfilled in my experience at this time philip iv. . feb. . from westmoreland a half sovereign and s. in postages. feb. . anonymously a half sovereign. by sale of articles and reports l. s. ½ d., and through an orphan-box in my house s. a lady who met the orphans today in the fields, gave to one of the girls s. evening. tuesday. by what the lord has been pleased to send in during the past week, i have enough to supply the matrons with all which is needed during the coming week and s. left. feb. . from a poor brother s.; the produce of an orphan-box s. ½ d. and a shilling bank token.--feb. . from bath s. d., and from droitwich s. d. feb. . saturday evening. only these few shillings have come in since tuesday evening, so that, having had to pay away several small sums besides the housekeeping expenses, since tuesday, nothing is in hand towards supplying the matrons with housekeeping money next tuesday.-- received this evening from c. c. l., s. d. and anonymously from totness s. d. worth of postages. feb. . today came in still further from the hot-wells s. d., and l. as the profits of shares which the donor has in a certain concern. how kind of the lord to help us thus so seasonably in our poverty! march . by work and knitting of the orphans l. s. d. and from e. n. s. march . by sale of articles l. s. d., and by sale of a report d. from h. c. as "a thank-offering to the lord" l. from manchester l. from london s. from staffordshire s.--thus by this evening the lord has again sent in during the past week l. s. ½ d., whereby i had enough to advance the house-keeping expenses to the matrons of the four orphan-houses for the coming week, and to meet some other expenses. march . received s. d.--march . l. from the neighbourhood of stroud, as "a thank-offering to god for partial recovery from sickness."--also from bath l.--a gentleman gave anonymously to the governess of the infant orphans l.--i also received the following letter today: "dear sir, when my dear brother john died, he had one shilling and fourpence halfpenny owing to him which he intended for the orphans. as i received it today, i now send it to you. he said �jesus will never forsake the orphans.' m. w." the paper contained s. ¾ d. and a quarter of a gilder. this legacy came from a dear boy who i hear died in the faith.--march . from clevedon s. d.--march . the proceeds of an orphan-box s. d. march . only l. s. ¾ d. had come in since the nd, and the day after tomorrow fresh supplies will need to be given to the matrons for house-keeping, under these circumstances i received this morning l., of which the donor intends l. for labourers in the lord's vineyard at home and abroad, and l. for other work in my hands. of this l. i took l. for the orphans, and l. for the school�bible�and tract fund. thus we are helped afresh.--there came in besides from c. c. s., from a lady l., and anonymously s. d. march . this morning i received still further from falmouth a bank order for l. from a brother "as a thank-offering to the lord for bringing him safely back to his native land;" l. of this amount is for the orphans, l. for brother craik, and l. for my own personal necessities. also s. from an orphan-box, and s. from a sister. march . by sale of articles and reports l. s. d., from a poor brother d., and through the boxes in my house l. s. d.--this evening, tuesday, i find that since last tuesday evening again l. s. ¾ d. has come in. thus i have the means to meet all the house-keeping expenses during the coming week, and something will be left to put by towards the rent, the current expenses for the apprentices, &c. how good is the lord in helping us week after week through the heavy expenses, especially in this season of deep distress and dearness of provisions! to his praise i can say, we have lacked nothing all this winter. whilst preparing these extracts from my journal for the press, i remember to have heard the following remarks made with reference to the time about which i am just now writing, namely the season of dearth during the winter of - : "i wonder how it is now with the orphans? if mr. miller is now able to provide for them as he has, we will say nothing." when i heard such remarks, i said nothing except this: "we lack nothing:" or, "god helps us." should this fall into the hands of any who have had such thoughts, let them remember that it is the very time for faith to work, when sight ceases. the greater the difficulties, the easier for faith. as long as there remain certain natural prospects, faith does not get on even as easily (if i may say so), as when all natural prospects fail. it is true that during the time of the dearth our expenses were considerably greater than usual it is also true that many persons, who otherwise might have given, were unable to do so, or had their surplus directed into other channels, such as ireland, &c.; but the gold and silver are the lord's. to him we made our prayer. in him we put our trust. and he did not forsake us.' for we went as easily through that winter as through any winter since the work had been in existence. nor could it be otherwise; for god had at this very time an especial opportunity of showing the blessedness of trusting in him. seek, dear reader, more and more to put your trust in him for everything, and you will even concerning this life find it most precious so to do. march . i was able, last evening, to meet most comfortably all the expenses for the coming week; yet we had then nothing left, as i put by the rest of the money, that we might not get into debt with regard to the rent, the expenses of the apprentices, &c. when now there was again nothing left for future house-keeping expenses, a christian lady at a considerable distance informed me by this mornings post, that she has paid into the hands of messrs. stuckey and co. of bristol, my bankers, the sum of l. for my use, for the benefit of the orphans. by the same post i have received also s. from droitwich. the lord's holy name be praised for this seasonable help! i have now all the rent for next quarter day, am able to purchase two pieces of calico which were needed, a fresh supply of rice and soap, and to meet other heavy expenses in the way of certain alterations and improvements to be made in the four houses, about which i had repeatedly asked the lord. may . from march th up to this day came in the sum of l. s. ¾ d. before the means in hand were expended, the lord always gave a fresh supply. this evening, saturday may st, i gave myself especially to prayer for means, as we were now again very poor, there being no means to meet the house-keeping expenses on next tuesday evening, when fresh supplies are to be given to the matrons. about half an hour, after i had risen from my knees, i received from a friend to the institution a letter, containing l. of this sum s. d. is from twenty poor orphans under his care, who, having read one of my reports, desired him to send to the orphans in bristol their little donations, each having contributed from d. to d., s. d. is from an aged christian, s. from a servant of the donor, and l. s. d. from himself, to makeup the l. may . there came in still further from c. c. l., from a christian lady s., from a christian servant s., and anonymously s. may . today was received for articles and reports l. s. d., and through the boxes at the orphan-houses s. ½ d. thus i was able this evening, by what had come in since saturday evening, may , to meet the house-keeping expenses of the coming week. may . another week is gone by. this evening also i have been able to meet all the expenses connected with house-keeping during the coming week, through what has come in since may th, but at the same time there is nothing left. hitherto the children have lacked nothing. never were provisions nearly so dear since the commencement of the work, as they are now. the bread is almost twice as much as eighteen months ago, the oatmeal nearly three times as much as formerly, the rice more than double the usual price, and no potatoes can be used, on account of their exceeding high price. but though i have now returned from the orphan-houses, without any means being left in my hands for further supplies, yet my heart is in peace, in great peace, being sure that the lord will help. may . the lord is beginning to help already. this evening i have received l. from scarborough. may . this morning i received s. from the neighbourhood of bideford. this afternoon was given to me l., being left to my disposal, as it might be most needed. being so exceedingly poor as to means for the orphans, and having heavy expenses to meet, i put this l. to the orphan-fund for present use. thus i am able to order oatmeal from scotland, which is nearly out, put by money for the rent, pay for medical attendance for the children, &c. how good is the lord, in helping us so seasonably in this time of great dearness of provisions! � there came in still further today s.--on may th from o. s., "through walking a short distance instead of riding."--on may th from c. c. s. d. from o. s. being "the first fruits of increase of wages." from the isle of wight s. d., from hayle l., from plymouth s.--on may th from a christian lady s., from e. a. b. s. d., and from c. b. s. ½ d.--on may th by sale of articles and reports l. s. d. though thus since last tuesday evening, may th, about l. has come in, yet as there have been heavy extra expenses to meet in the course of the week, besides the usual amount required for housekeeping for the coming week, and as i need to put by about l. for oatmeal which has been ordered from scotland, we are again without anything in hand. may . this morning the lord has again begun to send in a little. i received from bath l., and from a colonel in the presidency of madras l.--may th. from worcester l., and from a sick little boy d.--may rd. from c. c. l. s. d. also a stranger called at the infant orphan-house, bought books to the amount of s. d., and gave a sovereign for them. may . by sale of articles came in l. s. d. may . from shirehampton s. the boxes in the orphan-houses contained l. s d. also an individual from taunton gave s. lastly there came in by sale of reports d. and from m. w. d.--thus the lord has again sent in since last tuesday evening about l. this, however, not being nearly enough to meet the house-keeping expenses of the coming week, i could only give a part of what was needed, hoping in god to give me more, before that which is in the hands of the matrons shall have been spent. may . a lady gave s.--may th. by sale of books, given for the purpose, came in l. s. d., and through an orphan-box s. d. this l. s. received yesterday and today i sent off to the orphan-houses. may . by sale of reports s., the proceeds of an orphan-box at street s., from guernsey l.�may th. the l. s., which came in yesterday, was enough for today, saturday; for only the addition of l. was required to help us till monday morning, and therefore the lord had sent s. more than was needed. evening. there has come in this day still further l. s. d. by sale of some little trinkets, almost all of which had been given some time since, and which now our poverty led me to pack up and send out for sale. this money likewise was divided among the matrons. may . lord's day morning. i have just now received, in this our great need, when there was not sufficient in hand to meet the necessities of tomorrow, l. s. from a christian gentleman of title at zurich in switzerland, a distance of about one thousand miles. what a most seasonable help! thus i am able to send all the remainder of the supplies, which are needed till tuesday evening. in these days of straitness, the question would naturally arise, if, when you have only to care for orphans, you are so poor, what will you do when there are , for whom you are just on the point of building a house? and further, is it not an indication not to increase the work, seeing you are now so poor with only about one-third of the number of orphans which you purpose to receive into the new orphan-house?--i am not tried, however, with such thoughts; for i know that , only for the trial of my faith, as heretofore the lord allows me now again to be poor. never at any time have the expenses been so great for the work, as from may , , to may , ; but also never has so much come in in the same space of time during any other period of this work. , it is for the profit of the church at large, that we have now again to pass through these days of poverty. , i know that it is as easy for the lord to supply us with all the means that the work will require when once the new orphan-house is opened, as it is for him to give us what we need now, though the expenses in all likelihood will then be two thousand five hundred pounds a year more than they are at present. evening: received s. more anonymously. june . tuesday, l. s. ½ d. more has come in since may th, of which, however, only l. s. ½ d. remained for house-keeping expenses, during the coming week. this was all i could leave with the matrons, hoping in god to send in more before this is gone. june . this morning i received the following anonymous note from teignmouth, enclosing two halfsovereigns. "my dear brother, i send you with much pleasure the enclosed trifle, to be disposed of as you judge to be best. also this precious text, "only believe," once spoken by the lips of our blessed glorified head, now above. ever yours in him." thus the lord has already sent me a little help towards what may be needed tomorrow. his name be praised! how true that word: "only believe."--evening. this afternoon the lord has shown afresh in my experience the truth of that word: "only believe." i received a letter containing l., of which l. are for brother craik and myself, l. for home and foreign labourers, and l. for present use for the orphans. thus i am enabled to send the money required for house-keeping for this week, till tuesday the th. oh, how kind of the lord to help us again and again! june . there was only about l. in hand towards the house-keeping expenses of the coming week, as comparatively little had come in since june . in addition to the house-keeping, other expenses needed to be met. under these circumstances l. was given to me this morning to be laid out as most needed, which i took for the support of the orphans. thus we are again helped for the present moment. june . only l. s. ½ d. has come in during the last days. after having advanced on the th the money for one week's house-keeping expenses, and paid also l. s. for apprentices, all our money was again expended, except that which had been put by for rent and oatmeal, which has been ordered. when we were thus once more quite poor, i received today from a christian gentleman at edinburgh, whom god has repeatedly used to help us in times of need, a bank-order for l. of this amount l. had been given to him by a lady for the orphans, l. were from himself for the orphans, and l. he kindly intended for my own personal necessities. oh, how precious thus continually to see the hand of god stretched out on our behalf! will you not, dear reader, taste and see that the lord is good, and that it is a blessed thing to put our trust in him? whatever your position in life, though you may not be called by the lord to establish orphan-houses and day-schools for poor children, or to trust in him for means for circulating tracts and copies of his holy word; yet all children of god, whatever their position in the world or in the church, ought to put their trust in god for every thing connected with their body, their soul, their business, their family, their church position, their service for god, &c. and it is impossible to do so, without enjoying the blessedness which results from it, even first that peace which keeps the heart and mind like a garrison, and secondly true liberty with regard to circumstances, times, places and persons. june . tuesday evening. having had nearly l. coming in since this day fortnight, i have had the means of meeting all the expenses of these two weeks; but now having paid out what was required for house-keeping for the coming week, all is again gone. june . this morning when, as stated, there was again nothing in hand, i received from devonshire l. for the orphans. july . this morning i received still further from a bristol donor l., and l. from m.r. these three donations of yesterday and today came in most seasonably, not only because they came when there was nothing in hand, but also because the lord willing, i am on the point of leaving bristol for a few weeks, and am thus able to leave some money behind. i was absent from bristol from july st to august nd. during this time l. s. ½ d. was received, and the sums came in so seasonably, that there was not ally difficulty at all experienced with regard to means, because there was always a sufficient amount of money in hand, to furnish the house-keeping expenses each week in advance, besides meeting all other current expenses. at the same time i might say that almost every one of the donations came in most seasonably to help us on, if not from day to day, at least from week to week; and if it were not on account of its taking up too much space, i should mention every one of the donations which form the total amount referred to, but i shall only refer to the following. july . the proceeds of an orphan-box from stafford l. s. d. the friend who sent the money wished to know whether it arrived in a time of need. i have had many similar requests, to which i can reply nothing, or say at the most that the answer may be learnt from the next report. it will be easily perceived, on reflection, that if i said, it came seasonably, that would imply we had little or nothing at all in hand, and what would that again mean but this, "as our expenses are so great, that which you have now sent will be soon gone again, and therefore send us some more, or get some friend to help us." but by this very thing the chief object of this work, "to show how blessed it is to deal with god alone, and how blessed to trust in him in the darkest moments," would be hindered. it is also for this very reason that i do not publish the accounts very frequently, for instance quarterly, as i have been requested to do; but i am delighted to wait a year, or eighteen months, or two years, or more; and even then i do not publish them for the sake of obtaining money (though unquestionably god has used the reports as instruments to procure us means), but for the benefit of the church of god, to refresh, encourage, exhort, and instruct my brethren in christ; and also because it is needful that from time to time. i should give a public account of the way in which the considerable sums, with which i have been intrusted, have been spent. of the donations which came in between aug. nd and th (in amount l. s. ½ d.), i only refer to the following.--aug. th. a brother, being some time ago, through a particular circumstance, in danger of losing all his property, dedicated to the lord l., if he would be pleased to help him out of the difficulty. now today i received from that brother, with his explanation of this, l. for the orphans and l. for my own personal necessities, being a part of that l., as the lord, in answer to prayer, has delivered him out of the danger. aug. . saturday evening. this evening i found that there was only as much money in hand for present use for the orphans (i.e. l.), as there were liabilities upon me for rent, &c. on this account i gave myself particularly to prayer for means for house-keeping expenses, as on tuesday evening i shall have to give fresh supplies to the matrons. about one hour, after i had risen from my knees, two sovereigns were given to me, which a sister had brought from ilfracombe. aug. . today came in further, from barnstaple. s., anonymously l., from c. c. s. d., from a sister in bristol l., from clifton s., and anonymously s. d. and s. d.--thus the lord has been pleased to give me already, within twenty-four hours, after i had sought more especially his help for means, the sum of l. s. d. my eyes are now looking to him for more. aug. . by sale of articles came in l. s. d. aug. . tuesday evening. no more having come in, i have not been able to give to the matrons the housekeeping expenses for the whole week; i hope, however, that the lord will send more before all is expended which i was able to give, and which will last about three or four days. aug. . this morning i received from droitwich a half sovereign, and from yorkshire l. thus the lord has already given l. s.--there was also left at my house this afternoon, anonymously, a pair of silver spectacles; and at the girls' orphan-house. no. ii were left rings, a brooch, and a pair of ear-rings.--there was also given s. d. aug. . today more money was needed for housekeeping; but having receive nothing yesterday, and having sent off what had come in on the th, i gave myself to prayer. and now see the precious answer. by the first delivery this morning a letter came from birmingham, signed w. r., which contained a half-sovereign, of which the anonymous donor wished s. d. to be used for the orphans, and s. d. for missions. i also received through two orphan-boxes s. d. there came also to hand, three small parcels from plymouth, one of which contained an old silver watch for the benefit of the orphans, from a blind orphan; the other contained two shillings and a franc piece; the third a pair of ear-rings, a brooch, a fourpenny piece, half a franc piece, and an old sixpence.-- about half an hour, after i had received these three little parcels, a gentleman, who did not give his name, left at my house two sovereigns and one shilling. about half an hour after that, a lady called and wished to put some money into the box at my house. i do not know her name. but god knows her, and influenced her in answer to my supplications. may his blessing rest upon her and the unknown gentleman who left the l. s.! when the box was opened, it contained a paper with half a sovereign. thus the lord so kindly in this remarkable manner has helped us in this our time of need, and we have now again all we need for the present. evening. still further help. about two o'clock this afternoon a lady from london, who about a year ago had read the narrative of the lord's dealings with me, in passing through bristol left a sovereign at my house for the orphans, feeling that she could not go on without doing so.--this evening also i received a letter from scarborough with five pounds. also l. came in by sale of articles this evening, and s. d. as a donation. aug. . i have received still further today from c. c. l. s. d., from wolverhampton s., and from a brother in bristol l. s. thus altogether l. s. d. has come in during these two days. all, who have spiritual eyes to see, cannot but observe in reading these facts-- st, the reality of dealing with god himself directly; , the blessedness of trusting in him; and , his most particular providence. aug. . i prayed still further for means, as i shall need to give a fresh supply to the matrons for house-keeping tomorrow evening, besides meeting other expenses. this afternoon i received from a sister in the lord a sovereign, half of which she wished me to use for my own temporal necessities, and half for the orphans. likewise. s. as profits from the sale of ladies' baskets. aug. . today came in by sale of articles and reports l. s. ½ d. aug. . wednesday. last evening i was able to advance only a part of the week's house-keeping expenses to the matrons. today, when i had nothing in hand, a sister in the lord brought her orphan-box, which contained s. ¾ d. in donations, and likewise s. d. as the proceeds from the sale of musk plants, reared and sold by her for the benefit of the orphans. the box contained also a spanish silver coin. evening. precious and encouraging as it was to receive those little sums this afternoon, still, as they came in when no money was in hand, they were only an encouragement to look to the lord for further supplies, but were not enough to supply our need. however the lord, in his faithful, loving care over the work, and in his readiness to answer prayer, helped further this evening. there came in l., of which i took l. for the orphans, and l. for the other objects. sept. . since august th only l. s. ½ d. had come in. on this account there was only l. s. ¾ d. in hand, and tomorrow evening i have again to supply the matrons with house-keeping expenses. in this need, whilst walking in my little garden, i lifted up my heart to god for means, when, in less than five minutes after, i received a letter from jersey, containing five pounds for the orphans.--this evening i received still further, from a little girl s., from margate. d., anonymously s., and dollars from a poor missionary brother in demerara. sept. . further, by sale of articles l. s. d. through the boxes in my house s. d., and through the boxes in the orphan-houses, which our need led me to open, l. s. and a medal. thus i had for the need of the coming week, at our usual prayer meeting this evening, l. s. ¾ d., which i divided to the last farthing, with the firm persuasion and hope in god, that, by the time it was expended, he would give more; for it was not enough to meet all the demands of this week. sept. . the lord has already sent in a little i received from weymouth l. s. sept. . from a dentist in bristol s. sept. . from a christian brother, about miles from bristol, whom the lord has repeatedly used to help us in time of need, i received l. what a precious help! we have now all we require for this week, and a little towards the expenses of the next.--there came in also from droitwich s. sept. . further: from c.c. s. d., from clevedon s., from clifton s., anonymously s., ditto s. ½ d. sept. . monday morning. as there will be again money needed for house-keeping tomorrow evening, and as i have not enough in hand to advance for the expenses of a whole week, which i generally now seek to do, i gave myself again to prayer for means, and, while i was on my knees in prayer, there came a letter from yorkshire, containing l. for the orphans. there was received also, by sale of stockings at the boys' orphan-house, s. d. sept. . by sale of articles and stockings came in l. s. ½ d. from norwich l., and also s. d. evening. by these sums we have received altogether since last tuesday evening l. s. ½ d. thus i have been able to supply the matrons this evening with what they need for the coming week, and that which was left i put by for the rent and current expenses connected with the apprentices, and am now looking out for fresh supplies, as i have again nothing left towards the need of the following week. my dear reader, if you are tired of going on with this account of the lord's gracious interpositions for us week after week, or day after day, i beseech you to lay it aside for the present. take it up at another time. this narrative is not of an ordinary character. it does not contain anecdotes for amusement; it relates no embellished tales; it gives facts in which the hand of god is seen stretched out on our behalf, as the result of prayer and faith. seek to admire god, dear reader, in this simple narrative of facts, which are related to his praise, and to allure your heart more and more for him, and which are brought before you in all simplicity to encourage you and to stir you up, if it may please god so to use his servant, to put your whole trust in him. i judge that it will be the more profitable way to read this account by little and little. sept. . a brother, who is staying at my house, gave me a silver table spoon and two silver dessert spoons. this is the beginning of fresh supplies from god. sept. . from the neighbourhood of glastonbury s. also s. worth of postages from derby. sept. . a. christian lady at richmond, having received a copy of my narrative, read aloud in the hearing of another lady the account about a. l. (page to of part i.) the lady who heard it read was so touched by it, that she sent l. for the orphans. god moved her heart to send me this donation at a time when i had only a few shillings in hand for the use of the orphans!--there came in still further from clifton s., and from taunton s. sept. . from c. c. s.--sept. . anonymously from barnstaple s. worth of postages. this anonymous donor has many times sent his donations thus. it may be that twenty or thirty times the same amount has been forwarded in the same way.--also by sale of articles l. s. d. by the boxes in my house l. s. d. evening: i was able to supply the matrons only with means for house-keeping for three or four days, being fully assured, that, by the time more is needed, the lord will send further supplies. sept. . friday. after i had paid away on tuesday evening to the last penny what i had in hand for present use for the orphans, there came in a pair of ear-rings from norwich; also s. d. besides. on wednesday and thursday nothing came in; but it was needful that i should send more means to the matrons today. thus situated i received this morning from barnstaple. s. d. and s. about three hours after, came in by sale of the silver spoons (given on the th), an old silver punch ladle, and a few trinkets lately given, l. s. d. thus we are once more helped, and i have been able to send all that which was yet needed for house-keeping till tuesday evening. the lord be praised for his seasonable help! �observe, dear reader, we may be poor, very poor; we may have to wait upon god, even again and again we may have to make known our requests to him; but he helps, always helps. sept. . from c. c. l.--sept. . from a christian lady l.-- sept. . s. d. came in, also l. from scotland, and l. s. ½ d. by sale of articles. also from wellington an old half-crown, shilling, and sixpence. s. d. came in besides. evening. so little having come in, i was able to give to the matrons only as much as would last for about two days for provisions. sept. . a young man called this morning at my house and gave s. d. a brother called and put s. d. into an orphan-box in my house. mrs. w. c: gave l. also mrs. k. s. these donations came in today, after i had twice given myself especially to prayer for means, as we are now in so much need. sept. . nothing more having come in, we were in great need today. on this account the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, which contained l. s. d. this evening sister c. gave me s. ½ d., being the contents of her orphan-box. also s. d. came in by knitting of stockings. thus we were helped for the present. oct. , saturday. as today more money was needed, and nothing had come in, one of the labourers supplied the present need till monday morning, which took l.--evening. this afternoon, when there was nothing at all in my hands for the work, i received from a little boy s. this evening a box arrived from norwich, filled by the contributions of many believers. it contained in money l. s., and the following articles: brass and copper coins, a gold pin, gold brooches, pairs of ear-rings, pairs of silver clasps, a gold clasp, a gold locket, rings, a pair of silver studs, a broken silver tooth-pick, gilt bracelets, a silver mounted eye-glass, braid watch-guards, a silver washed watch-guard, waist buckles, a pair of gilt ear-rings, mourning necklaces and a pair of ear-rings, a mourning ring set with pearls, brass brooches, a mother-o'-pearl cross and clasps, a silver fruit knife, a pair of coral bracelets, bead necklaces, a snuff-box, little baskets, worked mats, ladies' bags of various kinds, cephalines, book-marks, purses, shells, pin-cushions of various kinds, needle cases, pairs of babies' shoes, babies' hoods, neck ties, knitted cloths, netted mats, pairs of watch pockets, pairs of cogs, little scarfs, collars, a pair of socks, a nightcap, some knitted fringe, some work and lace, silk winders, waistbands, handkerchiefs, ¼ lb. of tea, pen-wipers, some little playthings, combs, some slate pencils, chimney ornaments, paintings, books, pamphlets, a fan, a little box, chemises, shirts, a frock and cape, a shawl border, bodkin cases, ½ yards of print, a gown, and a few other little things.--great indeed was my joy in receiving this box, for it was a fresh proof to me, in this our present great poverty, that the lord hears our prayers and is mindful of us. oct. . lord's day. today i received from c. c. s. d., from a sister l., being the produce of a piece of work done for the orphans, and anonymously s. d. by these donations we are supplied till tuesday evening. oct. . from a christian gentleman i received today l.; from a brother, as the first fruits of his salary, l., of which l. is for the orphans, and l. for home and foreign labourers; from another brother s. d.; from a sister s. oct. . by sale of articles l. s. ½ d. this evening i had only means enough to give to the matrons supplies for one or two days. when i came home from our prayer meeting i found unexpectedly another demand made upon me for l., in connexion with the house-keeping expenses, towards which i had nothing, but which it was desirable to meet as soon as possible. oct. . this morning i received the following letter from kennington, containing a post-office order for l. * * * *, kennington, surrey. "beloved and honoured brother in our lord, i am permitted to be the unworthy instrument in the lord's hand of transmitting to you the enclosed post-office order for l., to be applied either for the orphans or your own use, as may be most required at this time, &c. your affectionate sister in our lord, oct. , . * * * *" i am now able to send off the l. about the need of which i was informed late last evening, and am again thus graciously helped at this time also by him who hears the cries of his children. do you not discern his hand, dear reader, in this instance? oct. . today s. more was required towards housekeeping expenses; but nothing had come in since the th. one of the labourers was able of his own means to give the amount required. oct. . saturday. yesterday, when there was nothing at all in hand, were given half-a-crown, silk handkerchiefs, pinafores, a baby's shirt, a frock, and children's work-bags.--this morning i found in the boxes at my house s. i knew that several pounds would be needed today for provisions, and therefore my eyes were directed to the lord for help. i received accordingly s. d. "from a london postman," and from cumberland l. thus i had l. s., but as this was still not enough, one of the labourers added l. s. of his own, as l. was needed. thus we have enough for house-keeping expenses till monday morning. oct . monday. yesterday came in from a sister s., ditto s., anonymously s., through an orphan-box s., and from a sister s. d. thus we have enough for today's necessities, and s. d. left. oct. . there came in yesterday afternoon through the boxes at the orphan-houses s. ½ d., and through those at my house s. also by sale of reports s. this morning i received through sister ch. l. s. d. these donations were very refreshing to my spirit in this time of great need, and though not nearly enough for all we required today, they are nevertheless a precious earnest that the lord will help us further. � by the first delivery this morning i received an anonymous letter, containing l., with these words: "it is requested that half of the enclosed sum may be expended on brother müller's own necessities, the other half as he thinks fit, in furtherance of his christian schemes: and may the blessing of the �giver of all good' attend him! oct. , ." i put the half of this l. to the orphan-fund--there came in still further by sale of articles and reports l. s. d. thus we have all that is needed for the present moment.--afternoon. this afternoon a person from the neighbourhood of chepstow called and left a half-sovereign. there came in also through needlework, done by the orphans, l. s. d. thus we are still further helped for the present moment. but all this is not enough. larger sums are needed, as oatmeal is to be ordered from scotland, and several other heavy expenses, besides those for house-keeping, are to be met. nevertheless the precious proofs, which i have had again today of our father's loving care over the work, lead me to expect further help.--evening. this evening at a quarter to ten o'clock i received l. of this sum i put l. to the missionary-fund, l. to the school�bible and tract-fund, and l. to the orphan-fund for present use. how good is the lord! how precious this help! how much needed and how seasonable! from the th to the th of october came in l s. ½ d. on oct. th i left bristol with my dear wife, partly, because both of us much needed change of air, and partly, because i had a great desire to labour in the word for a few weeks in westmoreland and cumberland. i was not able to leave more means than enough for about three days for house-keeping expenses. but i could not have stayed in bristol, though there had been nothing at all in hand; my hope was that god would help during my absence. during all the time of my stay at bowness in westmoreland, from oct. th to nov. th, there was day by day, with the exception of the first three days, after my departure, need to wait upon god for daily supplies for the orphans. in consequence of this, every donation, without exception, which was received daring my absence, came in most seasonably. partly on account of my health, and partly on account of opportunities for service in westmoreland and elsewhere, i did not feel it right to return to bristol sooner than i did, though there was such great poverty; nor could i have done anything in bristol which i could not do in westmoreland, as it regards procuring means, since prayer and faith are all the means i make use of to obtain supplies when we are in need. for the encouragement of the reader, and also that those, whom god used at that time to enable us day by day to supply the orphans with what they needed, may see how they were used by him to help us, i mention here every one of the donations which came in during my absence, with the exception of the articles. oct. , . from some poor sisters near kingsbridge. s. d., in small donations through brother f. in bristol s. d.--oct. . anonymously from walsall l., of which l. is intended for missions, l. for the building fund, and l. for present use for the orphans.--from bath anonymously s. with a lace cape.--oct. th. i received while at bowness s., also s. and s. this s. i forwarded at once to bristol by an order. there was also received in bristol from droitwich s. and from london s. d.--oct. th. by sale of articles and reports l. from c. c. l. from wolverhampton s.--oct. th. through the boxes in the orphan-houses l. s. d., our need having caused them to be opened.--oct. . by sale of reports s. d. orphan-box in my house s. from a christian gentleman near crediton l. �oct. . by sale of reports s. d. by sale of an improved rendering d. from london s.--nov. . by sale of articles, stockings, and reports l. s. d.--nov. . through a brother at clevedon s. through the boxes at the orphan-houses l. s. d. by sale of a report and rendering d. from one of the labourers s.--nov. . from a sister near wotton-under-edge l.--nov. . from two donors in the neighborhood of droitwich s. each.--nov. . from sister b. in bristol s. from c. c. l. s. ½ d.--nov. . anonymously by post l.--from sister h. c. s. �there was also given to me at kendal, where i had been labouring, by a brother s., and by a poor sister d. this i sent at once to bristol by an order.--nov. . from a donor in bristol l. from switzerland l. s. d. from london s. by sale of articles l. s. ½ d.--nov. . a lady from ireland visited the orphan-houses and gave l. by sale of a report d.--proceeds of an orphan-box from the neighbourhood of launceston l. s. d.--through an orphan-box in my house s.--nov. . through the bonds in the orphan-houses s. d. through mrs. t.'s orphan-box s, ½ d.-- nov. . from c. c. l.--anonymously s. d.--nov. . by sale of articles and stockings l. s. d.--nov. . by sale of reports s. through a box in my house s. d. by needlework and knitting of the orphans l. s. from sister c. s. from one of the labourers in the work l.--nov. . from p. s. d.--on nov. th we left bowness for keswick in cumberland. the day before we left, i received at bowness s., s., and l., also from kendal s. d. this l. s. d. i sent off at once to bristol by an order, knowing that it was needed.--nov. . from c. c. l.--nov. . through the boxes in the orphan-houses s.--nov. . by sale of articles and stockings l. s. d. from one of the labourers l.--nov. . by sale of reports s. d. from f. l. in ireland l. from richmond l. s.-- from nov. th to th we stayed at keswick. whilst there i received s., s., and s. d. for the orphans. this s. d. was at once sent off to bristol, by an order, as we were still very poor, with regard to means for housekeeping expenses for the orphan-houses. but notwithstanding all this great poverty in bristol, which required that we should day by day wait upon god, for our daily supplies, i did not feel at all led to return home, but had an especial drawing to go to sunderland to labour there for a little while among the brethren assembling at "bethesda free chapel." we therefore left keswick on nov. th for sunderland.--nov. th came in by sale of articles s., through the boxes at my house l. s. d., and from dublin l.--nov. . through a box d., by sale of articles s., and l. from london.-- nov. th. from c. c. s. d., and by sale of reports d.--nov. . by sale of stockings and articles l. s. ½ d. from one of the labourers l. s. by sale of articles s. d. �dec. . from one of the labourers in the work s.--dec. . from sister f. s. by sale of articles l. from newbury s. d.--dec. . by sale of articles s. by profits from the sale of ladies' bags l. s. d. from kingstown, ireland, l. by sale of a report d.--dec. . from c. c. l. through the boxes in the orphan-houses s. d. by knitting of the orphans s. d. from glasgow s.--dec. . by sale of articles and stockings l. s, d. from one of the labourers l. from thornbury s.--dec. . from a village near keswick s., and by sale of articles d. from one of the labourers s. from a donor in ayrshire l.--in the evening of dec. th we returned to bristol from sunderland. day by day while we were at sunderland also, the orphan-fund was very low, but god helped day by day, by sending in the means which have been mentioned; and when we returned there was s. d, in hand, and l. came in that same evening from plymouth. dec. . from the neighbourhood of pershore came in this morning most seasonably l., as time need for house-keeping expenses today was l., and there was only l. s. d, in hand. this l. came in about an hour before the l. was needed. there was received further today from bath, anonymously, s., and by sale of articles s. d.--will you not, dear reader, unite with me in admiring and praising the lord who so seasonably helped all the time that i was away from the work, engaged in his service in another way! do you not see how precious it is to have god to go to, and to find him ever willing to help those who trust in him, wherever they be? do you not also see again the hand of god so manifestly stretched out on our behalf this day dec. th? l. was needed, but only l. s. d, in hand, and, an hour before the l. was called for from the orphan-houses for house-keeping expenses, the lord sent that l. from pershore. dec. . today i received information, in answer to my inquiry, that s., which had been sent to me at sunderland, were intended for the orphans. these s., together with l. s. d. left in hand yesterday, are sufficient for this day, as the need of today is only l. s. for house-keeping. dec. . this morning came in l. from the neighbourhood of cockermouth; thus we had, with the s. d. left yesterday, l. s. d., which is enough for today. dec. . monday. yesterday i received from c. c. l. s., from another person s., as profit from the sale of ladies' bags l., and this morning from burford s. d. thus we have again enough for the house-keeping expenses of today. dec. . yesterday we had enough, but nothing over. when there was again nothing at all remaining in my hands, there was yesterday afternoon s. put into a box at my house. in the evening came in by sale of stockings and articles l. s. d., and by a donation s--in the evening also a sister from norwich brought s., s. d., d., and s. she also brought the following articles, to be sold for the benefit of the orphans: a bottle of extract of spring flowers, a small box of scent bottles, a smelling bottle, common seals, a thimble case, a box of wafers; a china box containing two rings, a mourning brooch, and a bead watch-guard; a pin-cushion, a pair of little cuffs, and a little box. another parcel containing a pair of worked slippers, little bags, books, aprons, a knitted cloth, pin-cushions, a shetland shawl, and a pair of card-racks. further: pairs of cuffs and a necktie. further: a child's silver rattle, rings, pairs of ear-rings, and necklaces--there was also a parcel sent from langport, containing two toilette cushions, a pair of worked slippers, fans, children's caps, some gold lace, a pair of silver clasps, brooches, a silver thimble, a brass clasp, and some bits of gold. this morning i received a letter from the neighbourhood of exeter containing a post-office order for s. with these words: "i had hoped to have accumulated a larger sum in my box for the orphans, than i have of late been enabled to obtain. i now, however, send it to you, though the amount is small, and should be thankful if it should prove useful for present need, it having been upon my mind for the last day or two that i ought to forward it to you without further delay. i therefore send an order for s., &c." thus we were supplied for the need of this day. this last s. was needed to make up the amount required. dec. . yesterday afternoon i received l. more, of which l. was from madeira, and l. from the brother through whom the l. was remitted. this l. was paid away at once, though not needed for house-keeping, so that i had still nothing for the need of today, when this day began.-- my prayer last evening and this morning had been especially, that the lord would not only be pleased to send me some money for the house-keeping expenses of today, but also enable me to give at least a little money to eight of the sisters who labour in the four orphan-houses, who have not had any money for their own personal necessities for several months. this desire was granted to me, for i received this morning a letter from wakefield with l., in which the donor writes: "i hasten to enclose l., which i leave to your disposal; but if the varied funds are so situated as to give no material preponderance of need to any one, i should divide it as under, viz. l. to the orphans, l. to yourself and colleague, and l. for the bibles, &c." i took all this l. for the orphans, and have thus the joy of being able to send at least l. to those eight sisters, and am also supplied with house-keeping money for today; and as for tomorrow, "my eyes are upon the lord." the lord be praised for this precious and seasonable help! dec. . yesterday afternoon a brother in the lord gave l. for the orphans. by this money i was able to defray the expenses of today, and the rest i put away for the rent, so that again we have to look to the lord for supplies for tomorrow. yesterday also a person gave half-a-crown to one of the teachers of the orphans, whilst she was walking out with the children. dec. . yesterday afternoon came in s. and s.--also a lady and gentleman called at the girls' orphan-house no. ii. and gave s. for a copy of my narrative. thus we had a little towards the need of today, but not nearly enough. before, however, i was called on for money, i received from worcester l. s. thus we were supplied for the need of today. dec. . saturday. i had reason to believe that our need for house-keeping today would be about l., and i therefore waited upon god for means, and looked out for help. yesterday afternoon, accordingly, came in by sale of trinkets l. s. this morning i received from westmoreland l. also a letter from edinburgh, containing l., with the following lines without name. "dear brother in christ, i enclose �in the name of jesus' l. l. for dear brother craik, l. for dear brother and sister müller, for their personal or family expenses, l. for the orphans, and l. for the christian knowledge institution. may the peace of god, which passeth all understanding, keep your hearts and minds through jesus christ our lord." there came in also, at the same time, by sale of reports s. thus i was able to meet all the house-keeping expenses of today, being l. s. d., and the rest i was obliged to put by for the rent and the expenses connected with the apprentices, so that we have yet again to wait upon the lord for further supplies for next monday. however, we are brought to the close of another week in this service, and he who has helped us thus far will surely help us further. monday, dec. . only s. and a small gold pin and ring from stowmarket having come in since saturday morning, we had not enough for house-keeping expenses today, which are l.; but one of the labourers was able of his own to give l. s. d., to supply the deficiency. dec. . yesterday afternoon a brother sent l. for the orphans. in the evening a sister gave s, d. this morning came in through two orphan-boxes s. d.; from droitwich s; and by sale of articles, reports and stockings l. s. d. thus we have all that is needed for today, the demand being only l. s. the rest i put by for rent and the apprentices, and wait upon god for help for tomorrow. dec. . yesterday evening came in by sale of reports d., from plymouth s., and from a sister s. our need also led me to open the boxes in the orphan-houses, which contained s. ½ d. by sale of articles s. d. this was all i was able to send this morning to the orphan-houses, waiting upon the lord for more. dec. . the need of today was l., having several expenses to meet besides those of house-keeping, which amounted to l. for today. this sum the lord gave me thus: last evening i received l. together with a pair of trousers and gaiters, and a remnant of fustian for the orphans. but as i knew how much there would be needed today, i waited further upon the lord this morning for help, and, in one minute, after i had risen from my knees, i received a letter from liverpool with l. for the orphans. the donor writes: "i have had the enclosed ten pound note in my drawer for some time, intending to send it to you for the orphans; but my time is so occupied, that, at a suitable time, when at my desk, i have overlooked it. i now however enclose it," &c,--how seasonable this help! how exactly to the very shilling what is needed today! how remarkable that just now this donor in liverpool is led to send the ten pounds which had been, according to his own words, for some time in his drawer for the purpose of sending it! all this abundantly proves the most minute and particular providence of god and his readiness to answer the supplications of his children.--i am now looking out again for supplies for tomorrow. dec. . last evening came in from mrs. o. l., by knitting s. d., by sale of stockings l. s., by four half-sovereigns given to the matrons of the four orphan-houses, of which three of them gave their part to the funds, s, and by sale of trinkets l. s. thus we are supplied till next monday, i.e. for christmas day (saturday) and the lord's day. dec. . monday. before i was called on for fresh supplies, the lord, in his great kindness, had given me the means requisite for today. on christmas day was brought to me a parcel from hereford in which i received from a. and z. s., also a little box, a silver vinaigrette., and half-a-crown. yesterday, lord's day. i received from kendal l. s. also from stoke bishop s.--thus i have been again able to meet all the expenses of today. dec. . yesterday came in by sale of reports from bath s. d., ditto from street s., by the proceeds of an orphan-box from street s., and anonymously s.�today i received by sale of articles and stockings l. s. d. as this was not quite enough for the necessities of today, the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, and l. s. ½ d. found in them. thus we had again more than four pounds for house-keeping to day, and are supplied with all we need. dec. . yesterday evening i met at our usual weekly prayer meeting with all the labourers in the schools and orphan-houses, to seek the lord's blessing upon the work, and upon the children under our care in particular. among other points the state of the funds also was a subject for prayer, on account of the great need in every way. for we need money for the schools, as i shall not be able next week to pay to the teachers in the day schools their usual weekly salary, except means should come in for them. the stock of tracts and bibles is also becoming very small. also for eleven weeks i have scarcely at all been able to send help to home and foreign labourers. this especially we prayed about. and as to the orphans, i had again only d. in hand for house-keeping expenses, which had come in at the meeting. however, my heart, by god's goodness, was at peace, and as i had now with my fellow-labourers been again able to bring all our necessities before the lord i was looking out for help. after the meeting one of the teachers gave me s. d. for the orphans, saying, the lord will give you more tomorrow morning. this i expected myself; for we were in need for house-keeping expenses for today, and we had been waiting upon god for means. accordingly this morning, when i had only s. d. in hand, i received from devonshire l. for the orphans.--how good is the lord! how seasonable again this supply! i had been just again in prayer about the work, and about this day's necessities, and at the very moment that i rose from my knees this letter was given to me.--there was also another letter from essex, containing l. s. for the orphans. thus i was again abundantly supplied for this day, and was able to put by the rest for rent and the expenses connected with the apprentices, trusting in the lord for fresh supplies for tomorrow. dec. . when this day began, we were without any thing for the necessities of the day, though i had reason to believe that several pounds would again be required. i was therefore again looking out for fresh supplies. accordingly, about ten o'clock this morning, a brother in the lord, who had come last evening to stay for a night in my house, gave me l., to be used as it might be most needed. to be noticed in connexion with this donation is: , i had, not long since, received a donation from him. , this brother had generally stated how he wished his donations to be appropriated, and they had been chiefly for missionary purposes; but this time he left it to me to use this money as most needed, and therefore i could take of it what was needed for the orphans. , we were now extremely poor also with regard to the funds for all the other objects, so that i was obliged to tell the teachers of the day schools last tuesday evening, th, that if no fresh supplies came in, i should not be able to give them their weekly salaries, as usual, next tuesday evening, being now poorer in this particular than i had been for years. how kind therefore of the lord, not only to give me this money through this brother at this time, but also to dispose his heart to leave the application of it to me as most needed. i took half of it for this day's housekeeping expenses for the orphans, and half for the school fund, for the weekly salaries of the teachers next tuesday.--i also received further this morning a half-sovereign from droitwich.-- the little that was left, after the house-keeping expenses were met, was put by for rent and the expenses for the apprentices, and i was again, without a penny, looking out for fresh supplies for tomorrow. dec. , . the last day of another year had now come. great and many had been the mercies of god to me this year in every way, particularly also in connexion with the orphans; but now i had again nothing for today, except two shillings which are in one of the boxes in my house. i was, however, by god's grace, able to look out for supplies for this last day of another year also, being fully assured that the lord would not confound me. and thus it has been, according to my expectation; for, before being called on for money, i received l., which was left to me to apply to any part of the lord's service where there seemed the most need. at the same time i received l. for the orphans from teignmouth. of the l. i took half for the orphans and half for the other objects. it was indeed a moat seasonable help! i am thus able to meet all the expenses for house-keeping for today, all the present expenses connected with the apprentices, and am able to give l. to eight of the sisters who labour in the orphan-houses, for their own personal necessities. how good is the lord! how can i sufficiently praise him for this seasonable help! �evening. received still further s., and from banbury s., and the proceeds of an orphan-box, being l. s. d. thus the year closes in blessing and under the manifest help of god. jan. , . as the old year ended, so the new begins. early this morning was sent to me l. s. d., being the proceeds of an orphan-box.--a little later i received from worcester l., and from scotland l. jan. . on the second and three following days came in many pounds more; but though so much had been received during the last seven days, i sent again today the last money to the orphan-houses for house-keeping, as our expenses have been exceedingly heavy during the last few days; and i am therefore again penniless with regard to the necessities of tomorrow. � evening. the lord has been again exceedingly kind, and has again helped in his faithful love. this evening i received a check for l., of which l. is intended by the donor for missionary purposes, and the other l. is left to my disposal, either for the orphans or the other part of the work. i took therefore l. for the orphans, and l. for the day schools, and the circulation of bibles and tracts. i received likewise from d.d. l. jan. . besides the seventy-five pounds that had come in on the th, the sum of l. s. ¼ d. more came in up to this day.--now, after having paid this evening for the house-keeping expenses for one week in advance, all the money in my hands for the orphans is again gone; yet, by the lord's goodness, we have our stores pretty well supplied, and besides this the matrons have the current house-keeping expenses for one week in hand. may the lord in his faithful love send fresh supplies for the coming week! jan. . this afternoon when there was nothing in hand, received from guernsey l. jan. , received from plymouth l. also s. d. from the neighbourhood of exeter, and s. besides. from the neighbourhood of nottingham s. jan. . by profits from the sale of ladies' baskets s. jan. . one of the labourers in the work gave l., and a brother on his way to ireland l. feb. . by sale of articles and stockings l. s. ½ d., anonymously d., from sister f. s., proceeds of an orphan-box s. ¾ d., by sale of stockings s. d., and by the boxes at the orphan-houses s. d.--when i went this evening to the orphan-houses for our usual prayer meeting on tuesday evenings, i found that altogether since last tuesday evening l. s. ½ d. had come in; but as there had been many extra expenses to meet during the week, there was only actually in hand l. s. ¼ d. of this i gave to each of the matrons l. s. d, being only a part of what would be needed during the week, and had then one farthing left, "like the handful of meal in the barrel." feb. . this morning on my usual walk before breakfast i felt myself led out of my usual track, into a direction in which i had not gone for some months. in stepping over a stile i said to myself: "perhaps god has a reason even in this." about five minutes afterwards i met a christian gentleman who gave me two sovereigns for the orphans, and then i knew the reason, why i had been led this way. thus the farthing which remained last evening has been already multiplied.--evening. this afternoon i received still further from a brother l. s., also a letter from portsea containing l. s. the letter from portsea contained these words: "please accept it as another token of the lord's watchful care for you and yours." how true! how exemplified in this very donation at this time! feb. . this morning i received by the first delivery three letters, each containing further supplies. the first, from sherborne, enclosed a post-office order for l. s., of which l. is for missionary purposes, and s. for the orphans. the second, from yorkshire, contained two half five pound notes, which l. is left to my disposal, yet it is requested that a part of it should go to the destitute irish. i put therefore l. to the relief of the irish, and l. to the orphan fund. the third letter, from marlborough, contained l. for the orphans.--thus i have now all that is needed in the way of house-keeping money for the remainder of this week; but i am now waiting upon god for about l. to provide each of the orphan boys above seven years old with a new suit of clothes. the reader might say, "you are continually in need. no sooner is the one demand met, than another comes. do you not find it a trying life, and are you not tired of it?" my reply is, it is true i am more or less continually in need in connexion with this work. and if i were to tell out all my heart to the reader concerning it, he would have still more reason to say that i am continually in need. for what i have here written is almost exclusively about the way in which god has been pleased to supply me with money for carrying on the work; but i do deliberately state that this, much as it might appear to one or the other, is by no means the chief thing that i stand in need of from day to day. i will just hint at a few other things. sickness among the children, very difficult and tedious cases, in which, notwithstanding all the means which are used month after month, yea year after year, the children remain ill. nothing remains but either to keep them, or to send them to the parish union to which they belong, as they have no relatives able to provide for them. the very fact of having cared for them and watched over them for years, only endears them the more to us, and would make it the more trying to send them back to their parish. this is a "need" which brings me to god. here is prayer required, not only for means which such sick children call for, but for guidance and wisdom from on high.--sometimes children are to be placed out as servants or apprentices. a suitable place is needed, or else they had better remain under our care. the obtaining of this suitable place is a "need" indeed. it is more difficult to be obtained than money. sometimes for many weeks have i had to wait upon god, to have this "need" supplied; but he has always at last helped.--sometimes great has been my "need" of wisdom and guidance in order to know how certain children ought to be treated under particular circumstances; and especially how to behave towards certain apprentices or servants who were formerly in the orphan-houses. a "need" in this respect is no small thing; though i have found that in this and in all other matters concerning which i was in "need," i have been helped, provided i was indeed able to wait patiently upon god. that word, "godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come" ( tim. iv. ), i have in times almost without number found to be true in my own experience. � further, when one or the other of the labourers needed to leave the work on account of health, or for other reasons, i have been at such times in far greater "need" than when i required money for the various objects of the institution. i could only have such "need" supplied by waiting upon god. i could do nothing but speak to my heavenly father about this matter, and he has always helped. one of the greatest difficulties connected with this work is, to obtain suitable godly persons for it. so many things are to be taken into the account. suitable age, health, gift, experience, love for children, true godliness, a ready mind to serve god in the work and not themselves, a ready mind to bear with the many trials and difficulties connected with it, a manifest purpose to labour not for the sake of the remuneration, but to serve god in their work; surely, to obtain godly persons, in whom these qualifications, even in some measure, are found combined, is not an easy matter. not that any one will suppose me to mean that i am looking out for perfect fellow-labourers. not that any one will suppose that my fellow-labourers are referred to by rue, as if they were without weaknesses, deficiencies, and failings. i am myself far, very far from being without weaknesses, deficiencies, and failings. moreover, i never expect to find fellow-labourers for this work who have not their weaknesses; but this i do mean to say, that the work of god in my hands is of that character, and, by god's grace, is really carried on with such a true purpose to serve god thereby (however much i and my fellow-labourers may fail), that it is with me a matter of deep moment to find truly suitable individuals for it, in whom, as much as possible, the above qualifications should be found united. and, however much there may be wanting, this is more and more my aim, that i may obtain such helpers; and hence it can be easily perceived bow great my "need" must be again and again on this very account. i do here especially advise, that if any should apply in future for situations in connexion with this work, they would keep these remarks before them; for, by god's grace, it is my purpose never to give to any persons a situation in connexion with the institution, if they are not suitable for it according to the light which god gives me.--further, that the labourers work happily together among themselves, and that i go on happily in service with them; that i be their servant, on the one hand, and yet, on the other, maintain the place which god has given me in this work; surely, if any one carefully looks at this, he will at once see, that there is a difficulty and a "need" far greater than any that is connected with money. oh, how these matters lead one to call upon god! how they continually make one sensible of one's "need!" truly, i am in need, in continual need. many more points might be referred to in connexion with this work, in which i am more or less continually in "need;" but i will only mention one it is now many years since i have made my boast in the living god in so public a manner by my publications. on this account satan unquestionably is waiting for my halting, and, if left to myself, i should fall a prey to him. pride, unbelief, or other sins would be my ruin, and lead me to bring a most awful disgrace upon the name of jesus. here is then a "need," a great "need." i do feel myself in "need," in great "need," even to be upheld by god; for i cannot stand for a moment, if left to myself. oh, that none of my dear readers might admire me, and be astonished at my faith, and think of me as if i were beyond unbelief! oh, that none of my dear readers might think, that i could not be puffed up by pride, or in other respects most awfully dishonour god, and thus at last, though god has used me in blessing hitherto to so many, become a beacon to the church of christ! no, i am as weak as ever, and need as much as ever to be upheld as to faith, and every other grace. i am therefore in "need," in great "need;" and therefore help me, dear christian reader, with your prayers. i allow, then, moat fully that i am in continual "need." this is the case with regard to money matters, because the work is now so large. a few hundred pounds go but a little way. there have been often weeks, when my demands have been several hundred pounds a week, and it can therefore easily be supposed that even if large donations come in, they do not last long. but whilst i allow this, i desire that the christian reader may keep in mind that there are other necessities, and even greater ones than those connected with money.--should, however, the reader say that he thinks "i must find this a very trying life, and that i must be tired of it," i beg to state, that he is entirely mistaken. i do not find the life in connexion with this work a trying life, but a very happy one. it is impossible to describe the abundance of peace and heavenly joy that often has flowed into my soul by means of the fresh answers which i have obtained from god, after waiting upon him for help and blessing; and the longer i have had to wait upon him, or the greater my need was, the greater the enjoyment when at last the answer came, which has often been in a very remarkable way, in order to make the hand of god the more manifest. i therefore solemnly declare that i do not find this life a trying life, but a very happy one, and i am consequently not in the least tired of it. straits and difficulties i expected from the very beginning. before i began this service i expected them; nay, the chief object of it was, that the church at large might be strengthened in faith, and be led more simply, habitually, and unreservedly to trust in the living god, by seeing his hand stretched out in nay behalf in the hour of need. i did, therefore, expect trials, great trials and straits; but cheerfully, for the glory of god, and the profit of god's dear children, did i desire to pass through them, if only the saints might be benefited by the dealings of god with me. the longer i go on in this service, the greater the trials of one kind or another become; but, at the same time, the happier i am in this my service, and the more assured, that i am engaged as the lord would have me to be. how then could i be tired of carrying on the work of god on such principles as i do? i now return to the extracts from my journal. feb. , . yesterday came in still further: from norwich l. and from devonshire l. feb. s. from a brother at hereford l.--feb. . from "friends to orphans" l., and from d.d. s ½ d.--feb. . by sale of articles l. s. d. evening. since this day week, when i had only one farthing left, the lord has been pleased to send in for the orphans l. s. ½ d; but as i have had to pay away more than l., besides making up the remainder of what was needed for house-keeping expenses for the past week, there was only l. s. ¾ d. for the expenses of the coming week, whilst nearly three times as much was required by the four matrons. i divided this little, however, among them, in the full assurance, that, by the time it was consumed, the lord would send more. feb. . today only s. d. has come in. we are supplied for the present moment, and shall have enough till tomorrow evening for house-keeping expenses; but there is about l. needed for boys' clothes, and i greatly desire to give some money to the sisters who labour in the orphan-houses. feb. . this morning was given to me the sum of one hundred pounds, which being left entirely to my disposal, i took of it l. for the orphans, and l. for the school�, bible�, tract�and missionary fund.--the lord be praised for this most seasonable help! i am thus helped for the present for all the various parts of the work, and have especially two precious answers to my prayers concerning the orphan work, in that i am able to get a new suit of clothes for all the boys, and to give some money to the sisters, who labour in the orphan-houses, for their own personal necessities. from feb. th to nd came in l. s. ½ d. more. feb. . all money was now again expended. this afternoon i had paid away the last. about an hour after, i received from a brother the contents of his orphan-box, being s. d. and a gold watch-key. in the evening was given to me l., being the half-yearly profits arising from shares in a certain company. how kind of the lord thus to help again so soon! as soon as the last money was disbursed, he sent more. feb. . l. s. d. more has come in since the th. this evening i paid away for house-keeping all the money i had, being l. s. d., and returned home with an empty purse, trusting in the lord to give me again fresh supplies. i shall shortly need again many pounds. march . this morning i received anonymously by post from p. l. a. ten shillings. evening. this afternoon a check for l. was left at my house for the benefit of the orphans.--thus we are again supplied for a week for what we need for house-keeping, &c. oh, how good it is to depend on the faithful love of our heavenly father, who never forsakes his children who put their trust in him! march . since the first of this month there has come in, besides the l. given on the st, altogether l. s. ½ d. now today all means were again gone, when a brother in the lord from gloucestershire called at the orphan-houses and bought some tracts and an "improved rendering" for s. d., and gave s. d. for the orphans. this afternoon came in further, by sale of articles, l. s. d. march . this morning i received from chelsea l., from tewkesbury d., and this evening from d. d. s. d., and by sale of articles s. there was also l. left anonymously at my house.--thus we are again supplied for or days. march . tuesday. as during the last three days only l. s. had come in, i had only l. this evening towards the house-keeping expenses of the coming week; but finding that one of the teachers had l. in hand for knitting and needlework, done by the children, i added this to the l., and we are thus supplied for or days with provisions. march . evening. when there was now again no money at all in hand, and when i had the prospect of needing fresh supplies tomorrow or the day after, a brother from switzerland arrived at my house, who brought me l., which some brethren at vevey, in switzerland, had contributed towards the support of the orphans. he also was the bearer of s. from london. what a variety of ways the lord uses to supply our need! how remarkable that these swiss brethren, who are just now in so much trial, should be led to send help towards this work! a few minutes, after i had received this l. s, there came also to hand a letter from stafford, containing l., of which the donor wished me to take one-half for the orphans, and the other half for my own personal expenses. march . this morning i received still further from the swiss brother, who had arrived yesterday afternoon, francs, being a donation from the pupils of a boarding school in switzerland, and francs from a german brother.--also from norwich s. d. and s. d. march . this morning i received from o. w. a letter with l., which the donor wished me to apply to the help of those labouring in the gospel, and to the orphans, if in present need. i took half of this for time orphans, and half for home and foreign labourers. we are thus supplied for the orphans for about three days. march . on the th came in anonymously s., ditto s., ditto s. d., ditto s. d.; and l. s. besides. this evening i had again to give to the matrons fresh supplies for the coming week, towards which i had only a few pounds, when i received this morning l. from a distance of about miles. between march th and april th i received, besides the l. referred to, l. s. d. april . thursday. on tuesday evening i had given out for house-keeping all the money in hand, being l. this was enough for three or four days. this morning i was now looking out for more, having requested the lord to look upon our necessities; for tomorrow, or at the latest the day after tomorrow, fresh supplies will be needed. now think, my dear reader, of the lord's goodness, when i tell you that this very morning i received l. for the lord's work in my hands, the disposal of which sum was entirely left with me. i took of this sum l. for the orphans, and l. for the school-, bible-, missionary-and tract fund. april . only l. s. ½ d. had come in since the th. as the income during these thirteen days had been so small, our means were again reduced to s., after i had supplied the day before yesterday the means for the house-keeping expenses for this week. today i received information, that to a sister in switzerland had been given fifty francs for the orphans. thus the lord is in every way showing that he is mindful of us. april . saturday. the expenses of today, in addition to those for house-keeping, which had been met last tuesday evening for a whole week in advance, reduced our little stock of means to only a few shillings. in addition to this, tuesday is approaching, when again about l. will be needed. and now see, dear reader, how seasonably the lord helped us again, and that from most unexpected quarters. this morning i received one hundred pounds from a brother, who is himself depending upon god for daily supplies whilst labouring in word and doctrine, but who has lately come into the possession of this sum, and who does not think it right to lay up treasure upon earth. of this l. he wishes me to take l. for my own personal necessities, to give to brother craik l., and to take l. for the orphans. of this l. the sum of l. has been put to the building fund, and l. has been taken for present use for the orphans. � but this was not all. there was paid to me today the legacy of l. s. left to me for the benefit of the orphans by the late mrs. b., an individual whom i do not remember ever to have seen in my life, and whom i only know by name. observe this particular providence! at a time of need, of great need of means, this legacy comes in. the will may have been made years ago, and the testator has been dead several months; but just at this time, when not only the l. are needed next tuesday for house-keeping, but other expenses of about l. more are to be met in a few days, this legacy comes in.--today also i have received besides, l. from wiltshire, l. s. from cumberland, s. from birmingham, and l. from a donor in bristol. thus in one day, in a time of great need, l. s. has come in, besides l. for the building fund. may . l. s. has come in since april th. this morning i received from a lady at a considerable distance l., and from wandsworth l. these two donations came in especially in answer to prayer, not so much for immediate need as it regards house-keeping, but on account of other heavy expenses which are shortly to be met. i have also repeatedly asked the lord of late, if it may please him to send in considerable means, before the accounts are closed on the th, so that there might not be even the appearance, as if i wrote another report, because i could get on no longer without it. may , . on this day the accounts were closed. the total sum which has come in from the th to this day, is l, s. d. thus the lord closes this period under his manifest help! i have been able to meet all the expenses connected with the support of the four orphan-houses during the last two years, amounting to , l. s. d., owe no one anything, and have on this th of may, , l. s. ¾ d. left in hand. further account of the new orphan-house, on ashley down, bristol, from may , , to may , . those, who have read the former chapter on this subject, will remember, how i was obliged to think of building an orphan-house, and how, when once led to this, i felt myself also led to build it large enough for three hundred orphans; and how the lord, in his great kindness, most manifestly in answer to prayer, gave me a field of about seven acres for the purpose; and how, by various donations, , l. s. ½ d. had been already received on may , . i shall now give a further account of the lord's dealings with me, concerning the new orphan-house, yet so, that, for the sake of brevity, only a few of the donations will be referred to, and chiefly those which seem more particularly to mark the finger of god. july , . for about three months my faith and patience have been exceedingly tried about the field, which i have purchased for the building of the orphan-house, as the greatest difficulties arose about my possessing the land after all; but, by god's grace, my heart was kept in peace, being fully assured, that, if the lord were to take this piece of land from me, it would be only for the purpose of giving me a still better one; for our heavenly father never takes any earthly thing from his children except he means to give them something better instead. but in the midst of all this great trial of faith, i could not but think, judging from the way in which god so manifestly had given me this piece of land, that the difficulties were only allowed for the trial of my faith and patience. and thus it was. last evening i received a letter by which all the difficulties were removed, and now, with the blessing of god, in a few days the conveyance will be made out. july . the reason why, for several months, there had come in so little for the building fund, appeared to me this, that we did not need the money at present; and that, when it was needed, and when my faith and patience had been sufficiently tried, the lord would send more means. and thus it has proved; for today was given to me the sum of two thousand and fifty pounds, of which two thousand pounds is for the building fund, and fifty pounds for present necessities, of which latter sum i took one half for present use for the orphans, and the other half for the school�, bible�,tract� and missionary fund. this is the largest donation i have yet had at one time for the work; but i expect still larger ones, in order that more and more it may be manifest to the children of god, that there is no happier, no easier, and no better way for the obtaining of pecuniary means or anything else in connexion with the work of god, than to deal directly with the lord himself. it is impossible to describe my joy in god when i received this donation. i was neither excited nor surprised; for i look out for answers to my prayers. i believe that god hears me. yet my heart was so full of joy, that i could only sit before god, and admire him, like david in samuel vii. at last i cast myself flat down upon my face, and burst forth in thanksgiving to god, and in surrendering my heart afresh to him for his blessed service. there came in still further today s. d. july . received l., of which l. is intended by the donor for the building fund, and l. for present use in the work, as most needed. i took of this l. one half for the orphans, and the other half for the other objects of the institution. july . by sale of articles, given for the building fund, came in s. d. july . from a sister in the lord l., from a christian gentleman l., from a sister s., and from another sister an old silver pencil case and s. july . from the neighbourhood of oxford l. july . this morning a gentleman from devonshire, on his way to london, called on me. when he came i was in prayer, having, among other matters, brought also before the lord the following points: , i had been asking him for some supplies for my own temporal necessities, being in need. , had asked him for more means for the building fund, and besought him to hasten the matter, on account of the inhabitants in wilson street, on account of the welfare of the children and those who have the oversight of them in the orphan-houses, and lastly, that i might be able to admit more orphans, the number of applications being so great. , i had also asked the lord for means for present use for the orphans, as the outgoings are so great. , i had asked for means for the other objects. � when i saw this gentleman from devonshire, he gave me l., of which l. is to be used for the building fund, l. for present use for the orphans, l. for brother craik and myself, and the remaining l. were left to my disposal, which i applied to the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. thus i received, at the very moment that i had been asking god, four answers to my prayers. sept. from a friend, who has many times helped the orphans almost from the commencement, i received l. sept. . "let patience have her perfect work, &c.," must be still my motto concerning this service. our position in wilson street, where the orphan-houses are now, remains as it was; i also see more and more the desirableness of commencing the building soon, both on account of the orphans, and their teachers and overseers; particularly also, because so very many applications are made for the admission of very destitute orphans, and i am unable at present, to receive all who are applied for; and yet the lord is delaying to send the full amount of means required. i am also asked, when the building is likely to commence, and can only answer, i do not know. now this morning i had again, after family prayer, my usual season for prayer about this work, when i brought all these matters in simplicity before the lord. immediately, after i had risen from my knees, the following letter was handed to me, containing l. * * * *, sept. , . "my dear brother, i send sixty pounds out of the abundance which the lord has given to me, and of which it seems to me that he has need in the work you are engaged. if you think proper, would you kindly take l. for the building fund of the orphan asylum, l. for missionary labourers, l. for the present use of the orphans, and l. for your own purse; and may our good lord bless your labours of love, and give the increase a hundred fold. your unworthy brother, * * * *" thus the lord encourages me, day by day, to continue to wait on him. his time is not yet come; but, when it is, all that is needed will be given. by god's grace my faith is unshaken. i am as certain that i shall have every shilling needed for the work, as if i had the money already in actual possession; and i am as certain that this house of mercy will be built, as if it were already standing before me. oct. . today the lord has much refreshed my heart by sending from b. b. s., from a young sister s. d., and through an order on a bristol bank l. oct. . while i was this morning in the very act of praising the lord for his goodness, in giving me yesterday the above mentioned donations, and whilst i was again bringing my arguments before him, why he would be pleased soon to give me the whole sum which is requisite, i received an order for l., which was doubly precious, because it was accompanied by an affectionate and encouraging letter. oct. . this morning i had been again bringing the ease of the building before the lord in prayer, entreating him to hasten the matter, if it might be, when, the very instant i rose from my knees, there was handed to me a letter with an order for l.--about an hour after, i received from a sister in the neighbourhood of wotton-under-edge s. d.--"from saints in the neighbourhood of kingsbridge" l. s.-- from a sister an old silver thimble. nov. . by sale of articles s.--this evening i received a small morocco case, containing a gold chain, a pair of gold ear-rings, and a gold brooch (being a set), with the following letter enclosed: "beloved brother in jesus, the contents of the accompanying casket being in my unconverted days a wedding gift from a very dear husband, has, as you may suppose, been hither-to preserved as beyond price. but since god, in his great mercy revealed to my soul his exceeding riches in christ, and gave to it more (oh, how much more!) than he has taken away, they seemed as the babylonish garment or wedge of gold, which ought not to be in the israelites' possession. i therefore give up that which the flesh would fain keep, and still prize; but which the spirit rejects, as unworthy a follower of jesus. accept then, dear brother, those toys, once the pride of life, and the food of folly; and use them for the building of the orphan-house, in which i feel it a privilege to lay one stone; and may the lord recompense you a hundred fold, yea, a thousand fold, in this your great labour of love, is the prayer of yours affectionately in the best of bonds. ----november . a sister and a widow." the gift was precious to me as a proof of the continued readiness of my heavenly father to help me in this work; but doubly so, on account of the circumstances under which it was given, and on account of the state of mind in which the anonymous donor had given these ornaments. nov. . i am now led more and more to importune the lord to send me the means, which are requisite in order that i may be able to commence the building. because , it has been for some time past publicly stated in print, that i allow it is not without ground that some of the inhabitants of wilson street consider themselves inconvenienced by the orphan-houses being in that street, and i long therefore to be able to remove the orphans from thence as soon as possible. , i become more and more convinced, that it would be greatly for the benefit of the children, both physically and morally, with god's blessing, to be in such a position as they are intended to occupy, when the new orphan-house shall have been built. and , because the number of very poor and destitute orphans, that are waiting for admission, is so great, and there are constantly fresh applications made.--now whilst, by god's grace, i would not wish the building to be begun one single day sooner than is his will; and whilst i firmly believe, that he will give me, in his own time every shilling which i need; yet i also know, that he delights in being earnestly entreated, and that he takes pleasure in. the continuance in prayer, and in the importuning him, which so clearly is to be seen from the parable of the widow and the unjust judge. luke xviii. - . for these reasons i gave myself again particularly to prayer last evening, that the lord would send further means, being also especially led to do so, in addition to the above reasons, because there had come in but little comparatively, since the th of last month. this morning, between five and six o'clock i prayed again, among other points, about the building fund, and then had a long season for the reading of the word of god. in the course of my reading i came to mark xi. , "what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." the importance of the truth contained in this portion i have often felt and spoken about; but this morning i felt it again most particularly, and, applying it to the new orphan-house, said to the lord: "lord i believe that thou wilt give me all i need for this work. i am sure that i shall have all, because i believe that i receive in answer to my prayer." thus, with the heart full of peace concerning this work, i went on to the other part of the chapter, and to the next chapter. after family prayer i had again my usual season for prayer with regard to all the many parts of the work, and the various necessities thereof, asking also blessings upon my fellow-labourers, upon the circulation of bibles and tracts, and upon the precious souls in the adult school, the sunday schools, the six day schools, and the four orphan-houses. amidst all the many things i again made my requests about means for the building. and now observe: about five minutes, after i had risen from my knees, there was given to me a registered letter, containing a check for l., of which l. are for the building fund, l. for my own personal expenses, and l. for brother craik. the lord's holy name be praised for this precious encouragement, by which the building fund is now increased to more than six thousand pounds. dec. . it is now four hundred days, since day after day, i have been waiting upon god for help with regard to the building of the orphan-house; but as yet he keeps me still in the trial of faith and patience. he is still saying as it were, "mine hour is not yet come." yet he does sustain me in continuing to wait upon him. by his grace my faith is not in the least shaken; but i am quite sure that he, in his own time, will give me everything which i need concerning this work. how i shall be supplied with the means which are yet requisite, and when, i know not; but i am sure that god will help me in his own time and way. in the mean time i have abundant reason to praise god, that i am not waiting on him in vain; for since this day twelvemonth he has given me in answer to prayer, a most suitable piece of ground, and , l. for the building fund, and about , l. for present use for the work, so that altogether i have received, since this day twelvemonth, solely in answer to prayer, the sum of nine thousand pounds. surely, i am not waiting upon the lord in vain! by his help, then, i am resolved to continue this course unto the end. dec. . today i have again a precious proof that continuing to wait upon the lord is not in vain. during this month, comparatively little had come in for the building fund; yet, by god's grace, i have been enabled, as before; yea, even with more earnestness perhaps than before to make known my requests unto god, being more and more convinced that i ought to seek by earnest prayer soon to be able to begin the building. in addition to this i had also especially besought the lord to give me means for missionary brethren, and also for brethren who labour in the word in various parts of england and ireland; as all my means for them were now gone. i had also been waiting upon god for means to order a fresh stock of tracts. i had lastly again and again besought the lord to give me means for the poor saints in bristol, of whom there are many, and whose need is now particularly great. now today the lord has granted me precious answers to my requests concerning these various objects, for i received this morning one thousand pounds with these words: "i send you some money, part of which you can apply to the orphans and the other objects of your institution, according to their need, and the rest you can put to the building fund. at the present price of provisions your expenses must be large for the orphans. please also take l. for your own need." as i have about l. in hand for the orphans, i took nothing for present use for them, but took l. for the other objects, in order thus to be able to send some help to home and foreign labourers, and to order a fresh stock of tracts; and l. i took for the building fund. i should have taken less for the building fund, and more for present use, did it not appear to me the will of god, that with my might i ought to give myself to this part of the work. jan. , . we have just now much sickness in the four orphan-houses, on account of which we are much tried for want of room, and for want of proper ventilation, the houses having been originally built for private families. this has again most practically shown me the desirableness of having the orphans, as soon as possible, removed to a house built on purpose for them and my heart says, "lord, how long?" and importunes him the more, yet, by his grace, without being impatient, but willing to wait his time, which in the end is always found to be the best. jan. . from a professional christian gentleman l., which i received from him in paying him his account today. jan. . from a brother in the lord l.--from c. c. s. ½ d. jan. . from a lady at bedminster l. s. jan. . the season of the year is now approaching, when building may be begun. therefore with increased earnestness i have given myself unto prayer, importuning the lord that he would be pleased to appear on our behalf, and speedily send the remainder of the amount which is required, and i have increasingly, of late, felt that the time is drawing near, when the lord will give me all that which is requisite for commencing the building. all the various arguments which i have often brought before god, i brought also again this morning before him. it is now months and weeks since day by day i have uttered my petitions to god on behalf of this work. i rose from my knees this morning in full confidence, not only that god could, but also would, send the means, and that soon. never, during all these months and weeks, have i had the least doubt, that i should have all that which is requisite.--and now, dear believing reader, rejoice and praise with me. about an hour, after i had prayed thus, there was given to me the sum of two thousand pounds for the building fund. thus i have received altogether , l. s. ½ d. towards this work.--i cannot describe the joy i had in god when i received this donation. it must be known from experience, in order to be felt. days i have had day by day to wait upon god, before the sum reached the above amount. how great is the blessing which the soul obtains by trusting in god, and by waiting patiently. is it not manifest how precious it is to carry on god's work in this way, even with regard to the obtaining of means? from december , , to january , , being thirteen months and a half, i have received solely in answer to prayer, nine thousand two hundred and eighty-five pounds. add to this what came in during that time for present use for the various objects of the institution, and the total is about twelve thousand and five hundred pounds, entirely the fruit of prayer to god. can it be said, therefore, with good ground, that this way of carrying on the work of god may do very well in a limited and small way, but it would not do on a large scale? the fact brought out here contradicts such statements. june . this day the lord in his great goodness, by a donation of one thousand pounds for the building fund, has again encouraged my heart abundantly to trust in him for all that which i shall yet need, to meet the remainder of the expenses connected with the fitting up and furnishing the new orphan-house, &c. jan. , . today i received l., concerning which the donor expressed it as his especial wish that i should take l. for myself, l. should be for brother craik, l., for the employment fund, and the remaining l. as i pleased. i put this l. to the building fund, as the donor had not given to this object before, having been prevented through circumstances, and i knew he would like to contribute towards it. jan. . i received from d. d. l., of which l. are intended for the building fund, and l. for the school�, bible�, tract and missionary fund. march . from scotland l. march . from the neighbourhood of dudley s. d. march . "a thank-offering to the lord from the church assembling at bethesda free chapel, sunderland, for church mercies during the past year." the amount is l. s. d. april . from cornwall l., from a most unexpected quarter, whereby the hand of god is the more abundantly made manifest. in the report, published in , the following account was given respecting the new orphan-house, which, except a few verbal alterations, is here reprinted. , the total amount, which i have received for the building fund, amounts to , l. s. ½ d. this sum enables me to meet all the expenses connected with the purchase of the piece of land and with the erection of the house. i stated before that i did not mean to commence the building until i had all the means requisite for it, and this intention was carried out. it was not until there was a sufficient amount of means to meet all the sums required for the various contractors, that a single thing was done; but when i once had as much as was required for them, i did not consider it right to delay any longer, though i saw then clearly, and have since seen still more clearly, that a considerable sum would yet be needed to complete the work. for whilst in every respect the building will be most plain and inexpensive, yet it being intended to be the abode of three hundred orphans, with all their teachers and overseers, it necessarily must be a very large building, and was therefore found to be even somewhat more expensive than i had thought, as the whole (including fittings and furniture) cannot be accomplished for less than fourteen thousand five hundred pounds, towards which the lord has already given me, as stated, eleven thousand and sixty-two pounds four shillings and eleven pence halfpenny. the sum still needed is required for all the ordinary fittings, the heating apparatus, the gas fittings, the furnishing the whole house, making three large playgrounds and a small road, and for some additional work which could not be brought into the contracts. i did not think it needful to delay commencing the building, though several thousand pounds more would be required, as all these expenses needed not to be met till many months after the beginning of the building. , the work of the building commenced on july , , and has been going on steadily ever since, with the manifest blessing and help of god.--six hundred and seven days i sought the help of god day by day, before we came so far as to be able to commence the building; yet at last he gave me the desire of my heart.--the work is now so far advanced, with the blessing of god, that a considerable part of the buildings has been already roofed in, and the remainder will be ready for being roofed in a few weeks, that is, in july, . , the new orphan-house has been placed in the hands of eleven trustees, brethren in the lord well known to me, whom i have chosen, that they might watch over the work and care for it, should the lord jesus tarry and take me to himself. the deeds have been enrolled in chancery. , the new orphan-house is intended to accommodate orphan girls above seven years, orphan boys above seven years, and male and female orphans from their earliest days, till they are seven or eight years of age, together with all the overseers, teachers and assistants that may be needed. the infants, after having passed the age of seven or eight years, will be removed into the different departments for older boys and girls. miscellaneous points respecting the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, with reference to the period from may , to may , . , during the whole of this period six day schools, with children, were supported by the funds of the institution; two sunday schools were entirely supported by it, and a third was occasionally assisted. again four from among the sunday school children were during these two years received into church fellowship. the total number of the children who received instruction in the day schools of the institution, from its commencement up to may , , amounted to . the number of the adult scholars, who were instructed during this period in the adult school, which was supported by the funds of the institution, amounted to ; and the total number of adults who had instruction from march , , to may , , was . the total of the expenses connected with all these schools, during these two years, amounted to l. s. ½ d. , during this period were circulated bibles and new testaments. there were circulated from march , up to may , , bibles and new testaments. l. s. d. was expended of the funds of the institution, during this period, on this object. , from may , to may , was expended of the funds of the institution on missionary objects, l. l. d., whereby labourers in the gospel, at rome and abroad, were assisted. , during this period , tracts were circulated, and the sum of l. s. d. was expended on this object of the funds of the institution. the total number of tracts circulated from nov. , to may , , amounted to , . , there were received into the four orphan-houses, from may , , to may , , fifty-one orphans, who, together with those who were in the four houses on may , , made up in all. of these: . five children died, two as decided believers, one not without some hope, and two as infants. this was the greatest number of deaths we had had for many years; and yet how small is even the number five out of within two years, if it be remembered that we received children as young as two years old; and if it be further remembered that the very fact of such young children being bereaved of both parents is, generally, a plain proof that their parents were very sickly and unhealthy persons, as indeed has generally been the case, since the greater part of the parents of these children died in consumption, which i learn from the certificates of their death. . one of the orphans, who had been above ten years in the house, left the institution without leave, and went to her friends for two or three days; and for an example to the other children was not taken back again, when her friends wished her to return. . three of the elder girls, who had been several years in the house, were taken back to their relatives and not suffered to remain any longer, because of improper behaviour towards their teacher. all three, however, were of an age to go to service, and would have been shortly placed out, had they behaved better. . four of the children were dismissed because of malignant skin or other diseases, remedies having failed: and in these cases, for the sake of the other children, we were obliged to send them back to their relatives till they might be cured. . seven children were taken back by their relatives, who by that time were able to provide for them, after they had been for several years in the orphan-houses. some of them were able to earn their own bread by that time, and were of use to their relatives. i always act on the principle of at once giving up the orphans, to their relatives, if they say that they are able to provide for them; having continually a considerable number of very destitute orphans waiting for admission. . nine boys were apprenticed. . twenty-one girls were sent out to service, eight of whom had been for some time believers. there were on may , , one hundred and twenty-two orphans in the four houses. the number of the orphans who were under our care from april , to may , , was . the total amount of expenditure in connexion with the support of the orphans from may , , to may , , was l. s. d. i notice further the following points in connexion with the orphan-houses. . without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me, the sum of , l. s. ¾ d. was given to me as the result of prayer to god from the commencement of the work up to may , . this sum includes the , l. s. / d, which up to may , had been given towards the building fund. (it may be interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which was given as free contributions, for the other objects, from the commencement of the work, up to may , , was , l. s. ¾ d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payment of the children in the day-schools, amounted to , l. s. ½ d.) . besides this, also a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, &c. were given for the use of the orphans. matters connected with my own personal affairs, or the work of the lord in my hands, not immediately connected with the scriptural knowledge institution, from may , to may , . july , , in very great need respecting my own personal expenses, and immediately after i had prayed respecting it, i received from a christian gentleman of torquay l. july . immediately after prayer for my own personal expenses, being in need, i received from the neighbourhood of leeds l. july . while i was on my knees in prayer, asking the lord for means for myself, l. came to me from bath. aug. . being still much in need, and having asked the lord for means, i received yesterday evening l. s. d., being some money due to me, and today from teignmouth l. as a present. dec. , . during this year there have been received into fellowship . the lord has been pleased to give me during this year , through the boxes. . . . £ ½ , through believers in bristol, not anonymously . . . . ½ , through believers not residing in bristol . . . . . , through presents in articles, worth at least . . . . ------ £ to this is again to be added, what i have enlarged on in a former chapter, that during the whole of this year also my daughter was, free of all expenses, at a boarding school. this was worth about l. in november, , i had a most remarkable deliverance, which to the praise of the lord is here recorded, as it is a further illustration of how the lord watches over his children. i was labouring for a little while at bowness and keswick in the ministry of the word in october and november when at keswick, i stayed with my dear wife in a large boarding-house, in which, however, we were then alone, except a single gentleman. just before we left keswick, on the morning of nov. th, i heard that the gentleman, lodging in the same house, had shot himself during the night, but was not quite dead. we had not heard the report of the pistol, it being a very stormy night, and the house large. two days after, i received from a christian brother at keswick the following information respecting the transaction. keswick, nov. , . "dear mr. müller, the tender and almighty care of our loving father was never more over you, and indeed over all of us, than in your stay at mrs. . . . .'s. mr. . . . . . was quite deranged for two or three days before you left. without any control, he had been walking about his room for the last two days and nights, with loaded-pistols in his hands. furthermore he had taken into his head that you were going to kill him. how gracious of god, that he spread his wings over you, and over dear mrs. müller, so that satan could not break through the fence, to hurt even a hair of your heads. speaking after the manner of men, there was nothing to have hindered him coming into the room, where we were all at tea, and firing amongst us; but the lord was our refuge and fortress, and preserved us from danger, which we knew not of. he shot himself in the neck and the breast, but is not dead. he has a strait-waistcoat on. i assisted in cutting his clothes off, and in other little offices, needed at such a time, and told him of christ's love in dying for poor sinners. �i know it,' he said. he shot himself the first time about three o'clock in the morning, and again about seven. what a scene his room presented. pistols lying in gore. bloody knives, lancets, and razors strewed about the floor." etc. i add an extract from a second letter, written by the same christian brother, because it shows still further, how very merciful the lord was to us at that time, in protecting us. "mr. �� is still alive, and has been removed by his friends into yorkshire. it appears, insanity is in his family, his father being at this time in an asylum. it is evident that he had the pistols in his pockets, but of this no one knew until after the occurrence took place. i do not know what time of night you went to bed; but i judge it was about ten. if so, it was at ten o'clock mr.--came down from his bedroom, after having been there six hours. it was a mercy you did not meet him, as it is plain that he had loaded pistols on his person." dec. , . there have been received into fellowship, during this year, : and altogether, since mr. craik and i began labouring in bristol, , besides the whom we found in fellowship. of these , have fallen asleep, are under church discipline, have left us, and have left bristol; so that there are only actually in communion. during this year the lord has been pleased to give me. , through the boxes. . . . £ ½ , through believers in bristol, not anonymously . . . . . , through believers, not residing in bristol . . . . . , by a legacy of £ stock . . , through presents in articles, worth to us at least . . . . ------� £ to this is again to be added the free education of my dear daughter, at a boarding school, worth to us at least l. in april, , i was enabled, by the help of the lord, to complete all the arrangements for the publication of the narrative of the lord's dealings with me in the french language; and about september of the same year the book appeared under the following title: exposé de quelques-unes des dispensations de dieu envers georges müller. paris, librairie protestante, rue tronchet, . supplies for the school�bible-�missionary and tract fund, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . when this period of the work commenced, i had for these various objects l. s. ¼ d. in hand, a sum so small, that, without the help of god, i could not have gone on even for a few days; for during this period our average expenditure for one single day, merely for this part of the work, was as much as the whole balance left in hand. now see how god carried me through, in meeting the expenditure of the thousands of pounds which were laid out for these objects, irrespective of the orphan work, from may , to may , . on the very next day, after the accounts were closed, may , , i received from westmoreland l., being the first donation during this period towards this part of the work, of which sum one half was intended by the donor for the current expenses of the orphans, and the other half for these objects. on the following day, may , was anonymously put into the chapel boxes for missions s. d. and d. now it happened that all the expenses, connected with these objects, during the first two days amounted only to about l., which i was able to meet by what had come in and the balance left in hand; and on may th i received l. as the application of this sum was left to me, i took one half of it for the orphans, and the other half for these objects.--thus i was supplied with means to meet the expenses which came on me the following day, may th, when i had to pay the weekly salaries of the teachers in the day schools. june . great has been my desire, and many have been my prayers to god, that he would be pleased to condescend to use me still further, in allowing me the privilege of helping brethren who labour in the word and doctrine, at home and abroad, without any salary, as i have been able to do but very little for them comparatively during the last four months. now at last, in answer to my prayers, i have received this morning l. for home and foreign labourers.--the lord may see it needful, for the trial of our faith, to seem for a season not to regard our supplications; yet, if we patiently and believingly continue to wait upon him, it will be manifest in his own time and way, that we did not call upon him in vain. july . my soul has been longing for farther supplies for home and foreign labourers, to whom i have sent of late all i could. almost all the letters received from the brethren, to whom i have sent money, have shown to me their great need. some were in the greatest necessity when my remittances were received by them. under these circumstances a donation of l. s. d. came in this morning, of which i took l. for these objects, and l. s. d. for the orphans. aug. . today all the means for home and foreign labourers were again gone. also for the support of the various schools and the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, scarcely anything remained; l. were in hand, yet, considering the liabilities for rent, &c., not more than l. of this sum at most could be considered available. when i had, therefore, so little, there came in l. thus my heart is made glad, for i am able to send help to many brethren in these days of peculiar distress. oct. . this evening there was given to me anonymously at salem chapel a sealed paper, which contained two sovereigns and these words: "for what most needs." i took this donation for these objects, as i have now scarcely any money left towards paying the weekly salaries of the teachers in the day schools next tuesday. oct. st. we have not been so poor with regard to these objects since the accounts were closed. but i hope in god. oct. . i received from calne l. oct. . received from bath l. oct. . there having come in this l., and l. s. d. besides, by the sale of tracts, i had enough to pay the weekly salaries of the teachers. nov. . saturday. there were now again only a few shillings in hand towards paying next tuesday the weekly salaries of the teachers in the day schools, when i received this morning from the neighbourhood of leeds l. nov. . there was put into the boxes at bethesda s. d. nov. . received l. s. d. no-v. . this evening i found, that, by what had come in during the th, th and th in the way of donations, and by the sale of tracts during this week, there was more than enough to pay the weekly salaries. nov. . only a few shillings were left in my hands on tuesday evening, the th instant, towards the weekly salaries of the teachers, for the coming week. also almost all the tracts are again gone, and it is nearly four weeks, since i paid out the last money in hand for missionary objects. as to this latter point, my heart had been especially longing to be able to send again help to home and foreign labourers, knowing how very great the need of many is. thus i was situated with regard to means when i received today l., of which sum i took l. for these objects, l. for the support of the orphans, and l. for the building-fund. the lord be praised for this most precious help, which is doubly precious on account of the seasonable time in which it comes! nov. . yesterday and today i have sent out more than one hundred pounds to brethren who labour at home and abroad, and the lord has sent again further supplies; for i received today from c. w. l. for home and foreign labourers. jan. . . the means for the circulation of bibles and tracts, and for all the various schools, and for helping missionary efforts had now been reduced to l. it had been during the last days especially my prayer, that the lord would be pleased to give me fresh supplies for brethren who labour in the word and doctrine at home and abroad, as i had not been able to do any thing for any of them during the last fortnight, for want of means. i desired also more means for the circulation of bibles and tracts, as several thousands of tracts had been going out during the last few days, and as also quite recently there had been many openings found for the circulation of the holy scriptures among very poor persons. now the lord has again given me a precious answer of prayer. i received this morning a donation of l., to be used as any of the objects of the scriptural knowledge institution might need help. the donor, however, kindly wished me to take l. for myself. i took this l. for these objects, and thus i am again supplied with means for the various schools, for the circulation of bibles and tracts, and have something for aiding brethren who labour in the word and doctrine, as i purpose to use l. for them. the lord be praised for this precious help! i have received still farther today for missions l. s. jan. . today i have received still further help from the lord in a donation of l. for these objects. how manifest it is by all these sums, large and small, received from god in answer to prayer, that he does not allow me to call upon him in vain! feb. . a brother in the lord, who had sold his earthly possession, for the purpose of spending the proceeds of it for the lord, sent me l. as a part, of which he wished me to use l. for missions, l. for the orphans, l. for another object not to be mentioned, to give l. s. to brother craik, and to take l. s. for myself. feb. . today i have received still further l. of which i took l. for these objects, and l. for the orphans, as the disposal of this sum was entirely left to me.--i do especially rejoice in all these considerable donations, partly, because they enable me to assist so many faithful servants of jesus christ, who labour for him in dependence upon him for their temporal supplies; and, partly, because they prove that the work of god may be carried on in dependence upon him alone for pecuniary means, not merely on a small but also on a large scale. see! dear christian reader, without making any effort whatever, simply in answer to prayer, without personal application to any one, all these sums come in. and thus it has now been going on for more than sixteen years, [was written in ]. persons said to me fifteen years ago, that it was impossible to carry on such a work for any length of time, without regular subscriptions; for the interest which was taken in it at first, would wear off. i never believed such statements. i was assured in my inmost soul that, if the work of god was carried on in god's way, that was the best pledge that it would be provided by god with pecuniary means. thus i have found it ever since march , , when this work commenced. for since that time i have received above forty-four thousand pounds altogether, [up to may only]; and the lord has so enlarged the work and helped me, that during the last three years i have had the privilege of paying away in his service, in connexion with this work, about twenty-five thousand pounds; nor have had during this period in any one instance to meet a payment, without being previously provided by the lord with means for it. if it pleased the lord to condescend to use me further in this way, he could so order it that even a still larger field of labour were intrusted to me, which would require still greater sums. truly, it must be manifest to all simple hearted children of god, who will carefully read the accounts respecting this institution, that he is most willing to attend to the supplications of his children, who in their need cry to him; and to make this manifest is the great object i aim at, through the means of this institution. march . the same donor who sent me on feb. th the donation of l., sent me today l. more for missions. march . from c. w. for missions l. april . anonymously through bethesda boxes d. for missions. anonymously through salem boxes l., with these words: " l. for dear brother müller, l. for dear brother craik, l. for the poor, l: for the rent, l. for missionary work, l. for the scriptural knowledge institution." the last mentioned l. i took for the circulation of bibles and tracts, and for the various schools. april . anonymously through salem boxes d. for missions. april . received l., which, being entirely left at my disposal, i took l. for the current expenses for the orphans, and l. for these objects. thus i have especially the joy, in answer to my daily supplications, of being able to continue to assist many home and foreign labourers who labour in the word and doctrine. may . anonymously for foreign missions s. may . received l., of which the kind donor wished me to take l. for my own personal expenses, and the l. were left to my disposal, just as the work of the lord in my hands might require it. i took therefore one half for the current expenses for the orphans, and the other half for these objects, and i have thus the means to continue to send help to home and foreign labourers. may . from the same donor, who gave on feb. th l., and on march th l., l. more for missions. aug. . during the last month i had sent to home and foreign labourers about l., and many heavy extra expenses had been met for the schools and the circulation of tracts, on which account our means for these objects began to be reduced, when i received this morning l., which, being left entirely at my disposal as might be most needed, i took for these objects. aug. . anonymously l. for home and foreign labourers in the word. aug. . l. from the donor spoken of under may th. half this sum lie intends for the orphans and half for missions. sept. . i received l., to be used as might be most needed. this sum came after i had repeatedly asked the lord for more means, as the money in hand for these objects was now less than it had been for several months. i took, therefore, the whole of this sum for these objects. nov. . the means were now again low, lower than they had been for many months, when i received l., which, being left at my disposal as most needed, i took entirely for these objects. dec. . before our means were exhausted for these objects, when there. was yet l. in hand, i received today a donation of l., the disposal of which was left to me, to use it either for the orphans or any part of the work of god in my hands. i took l. for these objects, and l. for the orphans. jan. , . the new year commences, even as to this part of the work, with new mercies. there was given to me l., to be used as might be most needed, of which sum i took l. for these objects, and l. for the orphans. thus, before all means are expended, while there is yet about l. in hand, the lord sends me again a fresh supply, in answer to my daily supplications, whereby i am enabled to go on with the circulation of bibles and tracts, the meeting of all the expenses connected with the various schools, and still further to help preachers of the gospel at home and abroad.--i take this first donation from the lord in this new year, as an earnest that he will help me during the whole of this year also in regard to means for these objects. jan. . during this month i had been especially led to send much assistance to home and foreign labourers. also in other respects the expenses for these objects had been considerable. on this account the funds for them had been reduced to about l., when i received this evening l., of which the donor kindly wished me to take l. for my own personal expenses, to give to brother craik l., and to use the other as might be most needed. i took therefore l. for the orphans, l. for foreign missions, l. for home missionaries, l. for the day schools for poor children and for the adult school and the sunday school, l. for the circulation of gospel tracts, and l. for the circulation of the holy scriptures. feb. . received l., which the donor left to my disposal, as it might be most needed for the work of god in my hands; he only desired in his kindness that i should take l. of it for my own purse. as there is a considerable sum in hand at present for the supplies of the orphans, i took the whole of this donation for tile other objects, whereby i am enabled to go on more and more in aiding missionary work, and in continuing the circulation of bibles and tracts.--i have great delight in showing also by this and other instances to which reference has been made, how the lord is mindful of my own temporal necessities, whilst i endeavour to serve him, in entire reliance on him for what i need with regard to this life, without any salary or any regular income whatever, so that he not only gives me as much as i absolutely need, but most bountifully supplies me; for generally i receive from him far more than need for myself and family. march . during the last six weeks has been paid out for the school�bible�tract and missionary objects alone about l., and very little comparatively has been received. on this account came in most seasonably, and very manifestly in answer to prayer, a donation of l. s. d., which i received this morning, and which i took for these objects, to replenish our means for them. march . from c. w. l. for foreign missions. may . during the last month but very little was received for these objects, whilst, for missionary purposes alone, l. was paid out. now this morning i received a registered letter, containing l. with these words: "---- may , . "dear brother, "i send you l, for the missionaries, and l. for the orphans, having just sold out part of my property in the funds. it pleases me to find that your new report will soon be out. believe me to be, dear brother, yours truly in christ, * * * *" this donation came after many prayers to the lord for supplies. the work is now large. the outgoings are great. during the last month were again expended about l. for the various objects of the institution, nor have i any prospect that the expenses will decrease; yea, i have no desire that they should. i have as great satisfaction, as much joy, in writing checks for large amounts upon my bankers, as i have joy in paying over to them checks, or bank orders, or large notes, which i receive from the living god, by means of donors, for this work. for the money is of no more value to me than as i can use it for god; and the more i can pay out for the work of god, the more prospect i have of being again supplied by him; and the larger the sum is, which i can obtain from him, in answer to prayer only, the greater the proof of the blessedness and the reality of this mode of dealing directly with the living god, for what i need; therefore, i say, i have as much joy in giving out as in receiving. i have been devoting myself, for instance, with all my might, both of body and mind, but especially by labouring in spirit, to have the orphan-house filled with children, not only that thus three hundred destitute orphans, might be lodged, boarded, clothed, instructed, and in every way cared for, bodily, mentally, and spiritually; but also, in order that thus large sums might be needed and expended, and i might have a greater call than ever to draw largely upon the inexhaustible treasures of god. that i do not mean, in thus speaking, to say that money so obtained by prayer may be wasted, will scarcely need to be noticed; for if any one would obtain means from god by prayer only, and then waste them, he would soon find that he is not able to pray in faith for further supplies. may . the donation of l. for the missionary brethren, received four days ago, was very refreshing to my spirit, and most manifestly to me another answer to prayer; but it did not hinder me from continuing in prayer for more means, as i have a great desire to spend again, by god's help, considerable sums in connexion with these various objects, in the course of this month. moreover, i was looking out for answers to prayer, and therefore expected still further means to come in on the th, the th, and yesterday; and, as i received nothing, i only prayed the more earnestly, instead of being discouraged. and thus it was that i obtained this morning a still further answer to my supplication, in a donation of l., of which i took half for the orphans and half for these objects, as the disposal of the money was left to me. my dear christian reader, will you not try this way? will you not know for yourself, if as yet you have not known it, the preciousness and the happiness of this way of casting all your cares and burdens and necessities upon god? this way is as open to you as to me. every one of the children of god is not called by him to be engaged in such a service as that to which he has condescended to call me; but every one is invited and commanded to trust in the lord, to trust in him with all his heart, and to cast his burden upon him, and to call upon him in the day of trouble. will you not do this, my dear brethren in christ? i long that you may do so. i desire that you may taste the sweetness of that state of heart, in which, while surrounded by difficulties and necessities, you can yet be at peace, because you know that the living god, your father in heaven, cares for you. should, however, any one read this, who is not reconciled to god, but is still going on in the ways of sin and carelessness, unbelief and self-righteousness, then let me say to such, that it is impossible, that you should have confidence to come boldly to god in such a state, and i therefore ask you to make confession of your sins to him, and to put your trust for eternity entirely in the merits of the lord jesus, that you may obtain the forgiveness of your sins. again, should any one read this who has believed in the lord jesus, but who is now again living in sin, who is again regarding iniquity in his heart, let not such a one be surprised that he has no confidence toward god, and that he does not know the blessedness of having answers to his prayers; for it is written: "if i regard iniquity in my heart, the lord will not hear me: but verily god bath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer." ps. lxvi. , . the first thing such a one has to do is, to forsake his evil course, to make confession of it, and to know afresh the power of the blood of the lord jesus on his conscience, by putting his trust in that precious blood, in order that he may obtain confidence toward god. supplies for the support of the orphans, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . when the accounts were closed on may , , i had in hand a balance of l. s. ¾ d. with this amount then we began, whilst day by day above one hundred and thirty persons were to be provided for in the four orphan-houses in wilson street. nor was there any money besides available except what had been advanced to the four matrons in the various orphan-houses for the week's house-keeping, which was already more than half expended; and i had on the th to advance again many pounds for the following week. place yourself now, dear reader, in my position, in order that you may the more clearly see the hand of god in what follows. on the very next day, after the accounts were closed, may , , i received from westmoreland five pounds, half of which sum was intended by the donor for the orphans, and half for the other objects. this donation i took as an earnest out of the hands of the living god, that during the whole of this period also he would provide for these many orphans, as he had done in former years. may . received anonymously s. ½ d., and from a. s. a. s. ½ d. may . today i have received l., which, being left to me as most needed, i took half for the orphans, and half for the other objects. how kind of the lord to refresh my heart thus in sending me this seasonable help at the very commencement of this period, as there was so little left in hand when the accounts were closed three days since and how especially kind, as tomorrow evening again nearly l. will have to be advanced for house-keeping! june . l. s. d. had come in since may th. without any difficulty i had been able to meet all the expenses as they occurred; but now all our money was gone, and this evening i had again to advance the means for a week's house-keeping, whilst there was nothing in hand. now observe, dear reader, how the lord helped me! whilst i was in the very act of beseeching the lord for fresh supplies, two sisters in the lord called, who desired to see my dear wife for a few minutes. it was for the purpose of giving her fifteen pounds for the orphans.--about half an hour after, a brother from devonshire called, who, on leaving, gave me l. for the orphans. this evening i received still further from norwich l. s., together with an eye-glass and a parcel of clothes. there was received also s. for reports. also a christian brother from barnstaple gave me half a sovereign. thus i was able to meet the house-keeping expenses for the coming week, and to order cwt. of soap, which was needed, amounting altogether to l. s., and have l. s. left. the day began and i had nothing, and yet the lord enabled me to meet all its demands, and i have l. s. over. june . the lord is already beginning to give fresh supplies towards the need of the coming week. this morning was sent to me from essex a large silver mug. there has come in further today from bath s., by sale of reports s., by sale of a book s., from south molton s. d., from a lady near bristol s., and through an orphan-box s. d. and a silver thimble. june. . from merriott s. d., from dundry s., through a. s. a. s. d., from a sister s., by sale of reports s. d, by sale of articles l. s. d., by the children's knitting s. d., and from the isle of wight s. d. june . anonymously from teignmouth l., through bethesda boxes d., ditto d. june . from l. m. s. d., brother f.'s orphan-box s. d., by profit from the sale of ladies' baskets s., anonymously s., ditto d., ditto d. june . by sale of articles s. d., from clifton s., from a sister s., through a box in my room s., from tiverton s., and through the boxes in the orphan-houses l. s. d.--thus we have bad again this evening, in answer to prayer, all the means required for the housekeeping expenses of the coming week, and have a few shillings left. july . though this day week i had all the means requisite for advancing the house-keeping expenses for this week, yet, after having done so, there remained only a few shillings. i had therefore again to seek help from god respecting the means requisite for this evening, besides means for other expenses, which in the course of the week might come upon me, as the regular house-keeping expenses are not one half of the whole of the expenses for the orphans. now, during this week also, i have been helped by the lord in the following manner:-- on june th i received from uppingham s., and s., and s. also by sale of reports came in s.--on june th was sent from tetbury s. � on july st a brother in the lord gave me l.--on july nd from a. s. a. l., and from a sister s. also anonymously s., ditto s., ditto s. d.--on july rd from a brother l.�-july th. by sale of articles l. s. ½ d., and by knitting and needlework l. s. d. � thus i was again able to advance this evening the means for the house-keeping expenses of the coming week, and have a few shillings left. july . the more the lord is pleased to help me, the more, by his grace, i have confidence in him. therefore, though there were only a few shillings left the evening before last, i set myself to prayer that god would be pleased to send everything requisite for continuing this work. accordingly, two ladies left today, anonymously, at the infant orphan-house, old foreign gold watches, an old silver watch, a small gold chain, gold mourning rings, a pair of gold earrings, and necklaces. there was also given today s., and s. ½ d. came in by sale of reports. july . from edmonton l. from a christian lettercarrier s., from a sister s. d., and from m. r. l. july . through sister c. from a friend s., from m. s., from d. s., and from sister f. s. d. july . from a. s. a. s. also a brother has brought me this evening l. july . from street s., through salem boxes d., and by knitting s. d. july . by sale of trinkets, &c. l. s. d. from gloucester l., from tenby s. d., anonymously s., and from one of the labourers in the work s.--thus i had again this evening enough to meet the ordinary housekeeping expenses for the coming week, but i am now looking out for fresh supplies to meet the expenses connected with ordering a fresh quantity of oatmeal from scotland, &c. july . the lord has quickly given me an answer, and granted the desire of my heart. i received this morning a donation of l. s. d., to be used as the work of god in my hands might require. of this sum i took l. s. d. for the orphans, and l. for the other objects. aug. . from july th up to this day we were comfortably provided with means; but this evening, at our usual prayer-meeting, i had only l. to give to the four matrons towards the house-keeping expenses of the coming week, which i did give in the full assurance that the lord would provide more by the time that this sum was expended, if not before.-- now see how god at this time also helped in his faithful love, and thereby proved that we did not call upon him in vain. on the next day, aug. , i received from london l., from buttevant s. d., from "a leamington grocer" s. d., from bedminster s., and by sale of reports s. d.--on aug. rd came in by the sale of reports s., from langport l. s., from a very poor widow s., and s. besides.--on aug. th was received from mr. g. b. c. l. s., from marbury d., from brighton s., from ayrshire l., and from newbury l.--on aug. , from the neighbourhood of wotton-under edge s., and by profit by the sale of ladies' baskets s.--on aug. th from a christian lady l., by sale of reports s., from a sister s., through the chapel-boxes s. d., and d., from tockington l. s., through the orphan-boxes in my house s. d., from northam l., and from cork l. on aug. th by sale of articles s. ½ d. by sale of reports s. thus i had everything which was requisite for the expenses of the past week, and had this evening, tuesday, even l. left to advance towards the house-keeping expenses of the coming week. my hope and prayer is, that the lord will be pleased to send in more means before this is gone, as it will only suffice till friday morning. aug. . the lord has been very kind today, and proved afresh that none who trust in him shall be confounded. there has come in by the sale of reports l. s. d., by sale of another book given for sale d., and from clevedon s., together with a pair of gold ear-drops, a buckle, and a pencil case. this evening, while i was walking in my little garden, lifting up my heart for further supplies for the work of god in my hands, there was given to me a registered letter from liverpool, containing l. for the orphans. there came also from lymington s. thus i am able to send the remainder of the money which is needed for house-keeping expenses for this week. aug. . the lord has sent in still further supplies in answer to prayer. from a brother i received l., from the isle of wight l., from bath l., from barking gold seals, pairs of gold ear-rings, gold brooches, a gold snap, a bead necklace, and a small telescope. aug. . by sale of reports l. s. d. from bath l. aug. . from norfolk l. s. aug. . anonymously s. d., ditto d., ditto s. aug. . by profit from the sale of ladies' baskets l. aug. . through a box in my house s., by sale of articles s. d., by sale of reports l. s. d., anonymously s., from keswick s., from one of the labourers in the work s., and from chelsea with a great variety of articles s. d., ¼ d., and s. i received also from bath mourning rings. aug. , wednesday. this afternoon i received from a brother, who had sold the greater part of his little property, l., of which he wished me to take l. for the building fund and l. for present use for the orphans. thus i have received for the orphans altogether in money, besides many articles, since yesterday week the th, l. s. ¼ d., whereby i have been enabled to supply the means which were yet needed for house-keeping; and i had likewise sufficient to advance last evening all that is needed for house-keeping for this week, and to meet l. s. d. extra expenses, which have come upon me during the last eight days. how seasonable were, therefore, the various donations which the lord was pleased to send me since the th, and how manifestly did they come in answer to prayer! but now i have again scarcely anything left, which, however, does not cast me down, as i shall go afresh, by god's help, to his inexhaustible treasures. aug. . tuesday evening. the lord has again been pleased to send me since last wednesday morning l. s. d., so that, together with the little which was left last tuesday evening, i was able to advance the money needed for house-keeping during the coming week. the lord was pleased to provide me with means for this in the following manner. on aug. th came in s. d. from clifton. on aug. th was received by sale of reports l. s., and by a donation from acklow l. also a brother from bath left anonymously at the boys' orphan-house two sovereigns. on aug th a brother from the neighbourhood of stroud sent me l., of which he kindly wished me to take l. for my own personal expenses and to use the l. as most needed, which i took for the orphans. received also s. by sale of reports. on aug. th i received s. d. and s. d., being the contents of two orphan-boxes, also from the neighbourhood of keynsham l., from the neighbourhood of royston l. and from batheaston s.--aug. . through a box in my house l., from doncaster s., by sale of reports s., and from the isle of wight s. �aug. . by sale of reports s. d, by sale of articles s. d., anonymously s., from thornbury s. d., and anonymously d. thus, then, i had all the means requisite, and had ¾ d. left.--think of this, dear reader! ¾ d. i had left and about persons were daily to be provided for, and yet we did not go into debt at that time for anything, nor do we now, nor have we from the commencement of this work. nor did i make personal application to any one for anything, nor did i directly or indirectly speak about our need, so that persons might be influenced to give. but why not, you may say, dear reader? simply because this work has for its first and primary end the benefit of the church at large and of the unconverted world, to show that there is verily a god in heaven whose ears are open to those who call upon him in the name of the lord jesus, and who put their trust in him. cheerfully have i dedicated myself with all my physical, mental, and spiritual energies to this life of faith upon the living god, for everything that i need in connexion with my own personal and family necessities, and in connexion with the work of god in my hands, if but by any means, through it, multitudes of believers and unbelievers may be benefited. thousands have been benefited by it already, but tens of thousands my heart longs to benefit. no trial, no difficulty, no hardships, no self-denial, will i, by god's help, count too much, if but this end may be attained.-- i had then, as i said, ¾ d. left. now observe how the lord helped me again this time in answer to the supplications which the evening before, aug. nd, my fellow-labourers and myself had offered up to him. on aug. rd, the very next day, came in early in the morning s. d. by sale of reports, and a christian brother from barnstaple sent l. with matt. vi. ("give us this day our daily bread"). also from torquay was sent a half-sovereign. from budleigh salterton l., and from weymouth l. together with a gold brooch. there arrived also a parcel from stowmarket containing the following little sums; d., s. d., s., s. d., s., s., and s. there came in also from bath s. for reports. thus i received altogether that day l. s. d., whereby i was enabled to order cwt. of rice, as i was informed the evening before that our store of rice was exhausted. aug. . by knitting of the children s. d. aug. . by sale of reports s., and from f. b. b. s. d. aug. . saturday. next tuesday evening again a considerable sum will be needed for house-keeping, whilst at the beginning of this day i had nothing yet towards meeting this demand. now observe the kindness of the lord in helping me again bountifully this day. i received from a sister at tottenham l., from norton st. philip's s., from a village near leeds l., from southwell s., from edinburgh l., of which the donor kindly wished me to take l. for my own personal expenses, and l. for the orphans; and from thornbury for reports s. d., as a donation, old three-penny pieces and copper coins, also s. from another donor near thornbury. aug. . a half-sovereign was received, but the place of the donor is not to be mentioned; from an aged christian woman l. and a pair of silver shirt buttons; and by sale of reports s. aug. . from a sister as the profit from the sale of ladies' bags s. d., anonymously s. d., by sale of reports s., from weymouth l., also s., s., and s. d., and from ryde l. aug. . anonymously from torquay l. there came in also by sale of articles s. d., by sale of reports s. d., and from a sister s. d.--thus, by the help of god, we have again received by this tuesday evening l. s. d., while last tuesday evening there was only ¾ d. left. how kindly has the lord therefore, in answer to our supplications, increased "the handful of meal in the barrel!" thus i have been enabled to advance the needful sum requisite for the house-keeping expenses till next tuesday evening, and to meet several extra expenses. the remainder of the money has been put by for rent, and towards meeting the current expenses connected with the apprentices; and i am now again, without anything on hand, looking to the lord for fresh supplies. now observe, dear reader, how again the lord helped at this time also, and notice in particular how, from all parts of the country, yea from great distances, and sometimes also from foreign lands, the donations are sent, and most frequently from persons whom i have never seen, whereby the hand of god is the more strikingly made manifest.--i relate now how we were helped in answer to our prayers, this time, when nothing was left. aug. . wednesday evening. i had this evening a long season for prayer for the work in which i am engaged, and sought also especially help from god as to means for present use for the orphans. while i was in prayer, a parcel of clothes was brought from weymouth for the benefit of the orphans, and shortly after another parcel. there were also sent s. d. as a donation, and s. d. for reports. a few minutes after i had finished praying, i received an anonymous letter from teignmouth, containing l. and these lines; "the lord permits me to send you the enclosed. dear brother, �only believe,' �o how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men.' yours ever in him."--how again has been fulfilled in my experience that word "only believe!" i am now looking out for more, for i shall shortly again need many pounds, for the current expenses for the orphans. aug. . received from hull l. s. d., of which s. ¾ d. is from a. z., who intends of this, s. for the building-fund, and the remainder as most needed, which i took for present use for the orphans. a young man also sent through a. z. s., and the remaining s. d. is for reports. this morning also a sister in the lord from malvern called on me, who brought from herself and a few other sisters l., of which s. is intended by a sister for foreign missions, and the rest to be used as most needed, which i therefore took for the orphans. i also received from cheltenham s., and s. for reports from teignmouth, s. ditto from street, and s. and d. as donations from street. sept. . received from several believers at bowness l. s. d., of which they kindly intend l. for myself, l. for foreign missions, and l. s. d., for the orphans.--from a. s. l.--by needlework of the children s. d., from shirehampton s., and from a sister s. d. sept. . from ilfracombe l. s. from wakefield l. from windsor l. s., of which l. s. is for narratives and reports. by sale of reports l. s. d., and for needlework done by the orphans l. s. d. sept. . a very poor christian widow, having come into the possession of l. through the death of her mother, gave l. of it for the orphans. this sister in the lord has since fallen asleep. will she regret the gift now? our time is short, very short. let every child of god stand in the place of service in which he has set him, working while it is called today, "for the night cometh when no man can work." again and again, while looking over my journal, i meet with names of donors, who have fallen asleep. shortly, dear reader, your turn and mine may also come. sept. . the boxes in my house contained l. s. there came in also by sale of articles l. s. d., by sale of reports s. ½ d., through the boxes of the orphan-houses l. s. ½ d., and from a sister s. thus this evening, tuesday, it was found that the lord had sent in again since last tuesday evening, when there was nothing in hand, nearly l., so that i have been able to meet all the extra expenses of the week, and to advance again this evening money for house-keeping for the coming week. now see how the lord helped further for the week after this. sept. . by sale of reports s. d. sept. . from a lady s. d. sept. . by sale of a small cask of pickles, given for the purpose, s. � a brother and sister gave l., as a thank-offering to the lord for the conversion of two brothers, in one week, in answer to prayer. from london l. by sale of articles s. d. from scotland s. d. for reports, and s. d. for the orphans. from crediton was sent s., s. d., and s. sept. . by sale of reports s. d.--from a sister s. d., and through ditto s. d. anonymously s. sept. . profit from the sale of bags s.--from a brother in london s. from scotland l. s. d. with l. for myself. sept. . tuesday. by sale of articles s. d. by sale of reports s. by a donation s. thus again about l. has come in during the past week, and, with what remained in hand last tuesday evening, i have had over and above what is needed for house-keeping expenses for the coming week.--when i came home this evening from our usual weekly prayer meeting for the lord's blessing upon the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, i found that a brother from tavistock had left at my house l. s. d. sept. . by sale of reports s. d.--from a christian lady crown pieces and pairs of socks.--from east coker l. s., together with many gold articles, &c. also s. d. with many articles and some coins. from belper s. for reports, and s. as three donations. sept. . from kingstown s. as a donation and s. for reports.-- this evening l. was left anonymously at my house; and a brother left sovereigns at the boys' orphan-rouse. a little boy gave d., and s. d. came in by sale of reports. sept. . from a brother at clifton l. s. sept. . by sale of reports s. a.s.a. s. anonymously s. from a sister s. d. through a sister s. sept. . tuesday. a gentleman called on me this morning and gave me half-a-sovereign for the orphans, but would not give his name.--by sale of articles l. s. d., by reports s. d., through the box at my house l., by a donation s. d., and paid on behalf of two orphans l. s. evening. thus again more than l. has come in in money during this week, besides many valuable articles. i was thus able to advance all that was needed for house-keeping, and what was left i put by for rent and material for clothes, which have been ordered, trusting in god for fresh supplies for next tuesday. the lord helped us this time again, as the following shows. sept. . by sale of a report d. sept. . from barnstaple was sent l. s.--boxes in my house s. d.--this morning a christian from somersetshire called at my house, and said, he only wished to put something into the orphan-box, and then put in a sovereign.--from leicester was sent l.--this afternoon a letter was left at my house, containing a five pound note and these words: "from a believer in the efficacy of the prayer of faith, to be appropriated as mr. müller may think fit." as there was only l. s. in hand for the orphans, i took this donation for them.--this evening i had again an especial season for prayer respecting the various objects of the institution. almost immediately, after i had risen from my knees, i received from sunderland l. sept. . from norwich s. from bath l. through a sister in bristol s. sept. . anonymously from liverpool s.--from stourbridge l.-- from a. s. a. s. ½ d. by sale of reports s. d. from cheshire l. anonymously s. sept. . the contents of an orphan-box s. d. sept. . from brighton s. by sale of articles l. s. d. by sale of reports l. s. through orphan-boxes s. d. ditto s. d. through the boxes at the orphan-houses l. s. d.--thus the lord has again sent in about l. during the week, whereby i have been enabled to meet all the extra expenses of the week, and to advance for the house-keeping expenses of the coming week. sept. . when today there was again only a few shillings in hand, i received from sunderland l. s. d. for reports. also from a sister in bristol s. from another s. as the profit from the sale of ladies' baskets, and from plymouth l. sept. . by the sale of trinkets and old silver l. s. �from scarborough l. as a donation, and s. for reports.--from barnstaple l. s. ½ d. by sale of reports s.--from a donor in bristol l. sept. . from a christian gentleman in bath l. from oswestry s. by sale of reports s. oct. . by reports s. d. from a. s. a. s. d. anonymously s. from devonshire s. d. oct. . from liverpool s. d. by reports s. d. from a brother in bristol l. oct. . by sale of reports s. d. and by sale of articles l. s. d. thus by this evening, tuesday, again about l. has come in, and i have been able to meet all the extra expenses of the work, and advance money for the week's house-keeping; but have now again scarcely anything left. oct. . by sale of trinkets came in l. s. d. oct. . from a sister s. d. from kingsbridge l. s. oct. . by knitting s. d. oct. . received from sherborne l. s. d. received also from the neighbourhood of dartmouth l. s. d. there came in likewise through sister e. ch. l. s. d.--also l. s. ½ d., being part of the proceeds of a little publication. oct. . from a. s. a. l. anonymously l. ditto s. oct. . by sale of a report d. from a sister s. oct. . from cheltenham s. by sale of articles l. s. d. by sale of reports s. d.--thus, by this evening, tuesday, again the sum of l. s. ½ d. had come in. i was, therefore, able to meet all the housekeeping expenses of the coming week, besides having paid away l. s. for apprentices, &c., and have s. d. left in hand. my heart is assured that the lord will help further. now, dear reader, did the lord help this time also? yes, he did. could it be otherwise? no; for they that trust in the lord shall never be confounded. let me then relate to you the way in which god helped us, going on with the extracts from my journal. oct. . at our meeting yesterday evening we made our supplication to god that he would be pleased to help us further. immediately after the meeting i received s. also when i came home i found that s. had been brought from gosport for reports, and s. d. as the proceeds of an orphan-box at gosport. also s. was put by the bearer of the money into an orphan-box at my house, who also brought a woollen shawl.--today l. was left at one of the orphan-houses by "an aged person of a bristol alms-house," who would not give her name. there came in also by sale of stockings l. s. d. there was likewise left anonymously at my house, an old silver watch, mourning brooches, and gold pins. thus the lord has already sent in a little. oct. . received in an anonymous letter s. d. from the isle of man s. d. by sale of reports l. s. d. through a brother in scotland l.--from two young gentlemen at clifton s.--from street s. d. � through an orphan-box s. d. oct. . from some believers near kingsbridge l. by sale of articles s. left at the boys' orphan-house s. oct. . from bideford l. by sate of reports s. by children's needlework s. ½ d. oct. . by sale of reports s. d. from a. s. a. s. d. from barnstaple l. from yorkshire l., with these words: "please to accept the enclosed l., as a thank-offering to god for an answer to prayer, in the conversion of a soul. i should like half of it to go to the orphans, the other half i leave to your discretion." the other half i put to the building-fund. oct. . from horsington s.--through the boxes at my house s. ½ d.--from a sister s. oct. . from reading l. by sale of reports s. d. by sale of articles l. s. d.--thus by this evening, tuesday, the lord had sent in again l. s. d., whereby i had enough for advancing the house-keeping expenses of the coming week, and the remainder i put by for the rent and the current expenses for the apprentices. oct. . when now there was again nothing in hand, i received by sale of reports s., by a donation s, from notts s. d., in small contributions s. d., and s. oct. . anonymously from tottenham a half-sovereign. from collumpton s. d. and s. d. oct. . by sale of reports s. from barnstaple s. from a sister s. d., and from madeley s. from dublin s. oct. . from clevedon l. s. from cirencester l. s. d. and also s.--by sale of reports l. s. d. oct. . from a. s. a. s. ½ d. anonymously s. ditto d. from a clergyman s. from s. s. by sale of reports s. d. from a sister l. oct. . by sale of reports s. d. boxes in the orphan-houses l. s. by sale of articles l. s. d.--thus by this evening, tuesday, again l. s. ½ d, had been received, and as the expenses of the coming week for house-keeping, together with some extra expenses during the past week, did not amount to more than l. s. d., i had l. s. ½ d. left, which i put by for the rent and the current expenses for the apprentices, and am again looking to the lord for fresh supplies, and again assured that he will help me. oct. . since last tuesday evening it has pleased god again to make it abundantly manifest that we do not wait on him in vain. besides many articles, there came in l. s. ¾ d. as the money which was needed for the house-keeping expenses for the coming week, together with a few other small expenses which i had had to meet during the last week, did not amount to more than l. s. d., there was more than l. left, which i put by towards the rent and the expenses for the apprentices, and hope in god for the next week. nov. . when i came home last evening from our usual weekly prayer meeting, i found l. from r. l. h. thus the lord has already given a little.--there arrived today a box from reading, containing the following articles from various donors: a black feather. also two pairs of ladies' shoes and a pair of velvet boots. also two ladies' bags, pairs of bracelets, waistbands, a pair of baby's shoes, neck ribands, and some white lace.--further, a pair of worked slippers, a thimble case, pin-cushions, a pair of baby's stays, a lady's bag, a pocket-book, a silver brooch, gilt brooches, a gilt seal, and yards of calico.--further, a box of artificial flowers. also an urn stand. further, a bible and prayer book in a case. further, a little box containing gold rings, a gilt chain, a bead necklace, some mock pearls, and a gilt buckle.--likewise a paper containing a smelling bottle, a pen knife, a waist buckle, and a card.--further, a paper containing needle-cases, a purse, little books, medals, a scent bag, a little smelling bottle, pebbles, and mourning necklaces. another paper, containing gold rings, a gold pin, old silver thimbles, the handle of a silver fruit knife, a snuff-box, silver mounted corks, pin-cushions, a needle-book, a pair of bracelets, a bead purse, a smelling bottle, a silver brooch, a gold brooch, a bead necklace, a pair of compasses, a broken gold watch key, shilling, an old silver thimble, an emery cushion, a gold ring, a cloak fastener, and a little bead bag.-- another paper, containing a silk scarf, a shawl, and some muslin for night-caps. a paper box, containing a silver-mounted smelling bottle, a toilette cushion, an amethyst brooch, a silver butter-knife, a pair of gloves, and shillings for missions. another paper, containing ½ yards of blue print.--also books and some pamphlets. �lastly, a gauze dress, a silk dress, a collar, and caps.--i have on purpose given here at full length the contents of this box, to show what a variety of articles, either for sale or for the use of the orphans, has been sent.--there arrived also today, anonymously, a box from a considerable distance, containing more than one hundred different articles. there was also s. in this box, to pay for the carriage. this day also came in by sale of reports s. d., and by needlework of the orphans s. d. nov. . from the neighbourhood of lutterworth a half-sovereign, from a sister in bristol s., through a brother half-a-crown and frocks. nov. . from s. n. s. d. nov. s. from a. s. a. s. anonymously s. d. by sale of reports s. d. nov. . by sale of stockings s. d. from cumberland l. from ayrshire l. nov. . by sale of articles l. s. ½ d., and by sale of a report d. this evening, tuesday, as only l. s. ½ d. had come in during the week, i had only l. to advance towards the house-keeping expenses of the coming week, after having met some other expenses. but i hope in god for more, before this is gone, which will only last two or three days. nov. . by sale of reports came in s., and s. d. was given by a relative of one of the orphans. nov. . only s. d. had come in yesterday. tomorrow more money will be needed for house-keeping. in this our poverty i received this morning one thousand pounds. the money being left to me for disposal as it might be most needed, i took of it l. for the building fund, l. for missionary purposes and the circulation of bibles and tracts, and l. for present use of the orphans. i have thus the means which are yet needed for this week's house-keeping expenses, besides being able to meet other heavy expenses which are before me next week. feb. , . for three months and ten days, since nov. , , the donations have always come in so, that we abounded during the whole period, there having been always fresh donations received, before all the money in hand was disbursed. the total amount that came in during this period was l. s. d. now today there was no money in hand for advancing the amount needed for the next week's house-keeping. all the money in hand was due for rent, and therefore unavailable, as i never go in debt for anything. in this our need there was given to me this afternoon the sum of l., which was left to my disposal for fitting up the new orphan-house, or for any of the objects in connexion with the scriptural knowledge institution that might be in need. as, however, i have all the means for fitting up and furnishing the new orphan-house, as far as i know, and as there is no money in hand for present use for the orphans, i took l. for that object, and l. for the circulation of bibles and tracts, for the day-schools, the sunday-school, and the adult-school, and for home and foreign labourers in the word. march . the new orphan-house is now nearly ready. on this account we have to get in large supplies for the children's clothes. within the last few days i have ordered thousands of yards of material for this purpose, and thousands more will need to be ordered, besides providing a stock of many other things. for this large sums are needed. under these circumstances i received today a donation of l., to be used for the building fund, or the current expenses of the various objects, just as it might be most required. as i judge that we have all that is needed for the fitting up and furnishing of the house, and as there is more in hand than usual for the missionary objects, the circulation of bibles and tracts, and for the various schools, and as we have only about l. for present use for the orphans, towards meeting all the heavy expenses before us, i took the whole of this donation for the orphans, as the donor has kindly left the disposal of the money entirely to me. this donation, coming in just now, has been an exceedingly great refreshment to my spirit; for it is, at the commencement of the great increase of our expenses, in connexion with the orphans, instead of , like an earnest from god, that he will supply us also with means when the demands for the will be more than twice as great as they are now. through this donation i have means to meet all the expenses which will be incurred in getting in for the new establishment the stores of provisions, soap, material for clothes, haberdashery, and of the many other articles of which it would be desirable to buy our supplies on wholesale terms. the lord be praised for his kindness! april . received this afternoon the following letter:--"dear brother, "i have the pleasure today of sowing a little more seed-corn for eternity. employ the enclosed l., if you please, for the support of the orphans. the remaining l. be pleased to divide between yourself and dear brother craik. "yours very truly in christ, "* * * *" from the same donor i had recently had two donations of l. and l. april . from the brethren at sunderland, assembling at bethesda chapel, l., as a part of their annual thank-offering to the lord for church mercies during the last twelvemonth. april . today i received a donation of l., of which i took l. for the orphans, and the other l. for the other objects. never were the current expenses for the orphans nearly so great as they are now, but at the same time never was the income nearly so great. thereby the lord, as it were, says, that, when the new orphan-house shall have been filled with orphans, he will likewise give what is requisite for them. whilst yet much is in hand, he has been pleased to send this donation. from april th to may rd, the lord was pleased to send in still further many donations. may . today i received l., of which i took half for the current expenses for the orphans, and half for the other objects. by this donation i am still further provided with means to meet all the expenses connected with the removal of the children into the new orphan-house, the reception and fitting out of many fresh children, the filling the stores of the new orphan-house, &c. how does the lord by all this clearly say, that, when this house shall have been filled with children, he will provide the means for their support! june . today, as the fruit of the prayers of three years and seven months, the children began to be moved from the four orphan-houses in wilson street, bristol, into the new orphan-house. june . saturday evening. this has been indeed a week of great and many and peculiar mercies. all the orphans with their teachers and overseers have been moved into the new orphan-house, during monday, tuesday, wednesday, and thursday; so that there are now about persons under one roof. the lord has most signally helped.--as i had for more than three years sought the help of god concerning all matters connected with the new orphan-house, i did expect his help in this particular also; but he has done beyond my expectations. though only the day before yesterday the last children were moved in, there is already such a measure of order established in the house, by the help of god, as that things can be done by the minute hands of the timepieces. his name is to be praised for this, and my soul does magnify him for his goodness!--also with regard to temporal supplies for the dear orphans, the lord has been exceedingly kind. on the second day of receiving the children, there was sent l. on the third day, an individual, who walked with me through part of the house, said, "these children must consume a great deal of provisions," and, whilst saying it, took out of his pocket a roll of bank of england notes, to the amount of one hundred pounds, and gave them to me for the orphans. on the same evening there was also sent for the orphans a very large cask of treacle, and for their teachers and overseers loaves of sugar. also a cooper made gratuitously two large new casks for treacle. on the next day i received information that about cwt. of rice had been purchased for the orphans, which should be sent. besides this, several small donations have come in. so bountifully has the lord been pleased to help of late, that i have not only been able to meet all the extraordinary heavy expenses connected with moving the orphans from wilson street into the new orphan-house, filling the stores of the new orphan-house, &c.; but i have more than five hundred pounds in hand, to begin house-keeping in the new orphan-house. how true that word that those that trust in the lord shall not be confounded! after all the many and long-continued seasons of great trial of faith within these thirteen years and two months, during which the orphans were in wilson street, the lord dismisses us from thence in comparative abundance. his holy name be praised for it! in order that this chapter may not be too long, i can only mention of the donations, from june , , to may , , those which came in under particular circumstances. the total amount received from june , , to may , , for the current expenses of the orphans, was , l. s. ¾ d. aug. . received a fifty pound note with these words: "i send you herewith a fifty pound note, half for the missions, half for the orphans, unless you are in any personal need; if so, take l. for yourself. this will be the last large sum i shall be able to transmit to you. almost all the rest is already out at interest." i took half of this l. for the orphans and half for missionaries. the writer sold some time since his only earthly possession, and sent me at different times sums of l., of l., of l., of l, and of l. for the work of the lord in my hands. when he says therefore "the rest is already out at interest," he means that he has given it away for the lord, which indeed both for time and eternity is the very best way of using the means with which the lord may be pleased to intrust us, in so far as, considering in the fear of god all our various claims and duties and relationships, we may do so. as this is written for the spiritual profit of the reader, i cannot but add to this extract from my journal under aug. , , that since that time i have received other donations from the same donor, and much larger still. he used for god the means with which he was pleased to intrust him, and, contrary to this brother's expectation, the above l. was not the last large donation; for it pleased god soon after, to intrust him with another considerable sum, which he again used for the lord. this did not at all surprise me; for it is the lord's order, that, in whatever way he is pleased to make us his stewards, whether as to temporal or spiritual things, if we are indeed acting as stewards and not as owners, he will make us stewards over more. but for more, on this deeply important subject, i must refer the reader to the third part of this narrative, page to . sept. . from friends at othery l.--this donation is very refreshing to my spirit. last evening and this morning i had especially besought the lord, that he would be pleased to continue to send me means, as the expenses are now so great; for there are orphans in the house, and about persons daily sit down to their meals, and this number is every week increasing. now, by this donation, which comes not only from an entirely new but also most unexpected quarter, the lord is, as it were, saying to me, that he will not fail to help me, even when there shall be about persons in the house, for which number it is fitted up. oct. s. yesterday again seven orphans were received. every week i am now taking in five, six, seven, or eight; and within the last nine weeks altogether have been received, and about persons sit down daily to their meals. this has greatly increased the expenses already, and they will be still more increased, as i purpose to receive still further orphans, if god permit, to make up the number . yesterday, after having received the seven children, i again gave myself to prayer for an increase of means. now today i have received from devonshire a set of valuable jewels, i.e. a ring set with brilliants, a brooch set with larger and smaller brilliants and large emerald, and a pair of ear-rings, both together set with brilliants and emeralds. the bearer brought also l. s. d. and s. d., being the proceeds of two orphan-boxes, likewise l. s. d. at the same time i received from another brother from devonshire. l.; and from a third s. d.-- truly the lord does not allow me to wait upon him in vain! nov. . today i have again received seven orphans. there are now about persons daily sitting down to their meals in the orphan-house. before the seven fresh orphans were brought, i received a letter from a banker in london, giving me information that a brother in the lord, living between and miles from hence, had given order to pay me l. for the orphans.--by the same post i received anonymously from london /. from the same donor, who has now for several years sent twice every year this amount, of which she kindly wishes me to use half for my own personal expenses, and half for the work of the lord in my hands. i took the half for the orphans.--this was not all. in the afternoon, whilst receiving the orphans, there came in still further l. s. d., also s. and a few articles. nov. . about l. has been spent within these days, i.e. since the first of the month, for current expenses for the orphans alone, and about l. for the other objects, making in all about l. within half a month. lord look upon the necessities of thy servant, seeing that now the outgoings are so large! nov. . we have been helped through this month most comfortably, though the expenses for the orphans have been heavier by far, than in any month all the years since this work was commenced, having been l. s. d., and, including the expenses for the other objects, about l. dec. . today was paid to me a legacy of l., left for the benefit of the orphans. dec. . anonymously a bank post bill for l. s. d. jan. , . today was sent to me from the committee of the cholera fund in bristol l., which the gentlemen constituting it had voted for the benefit of the twenty children who had lost their parents in the cholera, and whom i had received into the new orphan-house. i had not applied either directly or indirectly for this money; indeed i was reluctant even to give information as to the number of cholera orphans received, lest there should be even the appearance as if after all i asked for money, instead of solely trusting in the living god. but some of the gentlemen on the committee, knowing the fact that i had received many orphans, made such by means of the cholera, proposed that there should be paid to the institution a sovereign on account of each such child received. this sum was especially remarkable to me as a fresh proof of the numberless ways, which god has at his command for providing me with means. i also cannot help noticing the remarkable coincidence that, at the time god visited this land with the cholera, in , i had so much room for the reception of orphans. the lord was pleased to allow me the joy and sweet privilege of receiving altogether twenty-six children, from ten months old and upward, who lost their parents in the cholera at that time, and many besides, since then, who were bereaved of their parents through this fearful malady. jan. . today five more orphans are to be received. for the last fortnight, comparatively little had come in for the orphans, i.e. not quite l. in the prospect of the orphans coming today, i said last evening to my dear wife, that the lord would send us something for them; for i have often found, that either he has sent something with the children, or at the time that they have been received. it was but about ten minutes after i had said so, when i received l. (see the account of the income for the other objects), of which i took l. for the orphans. this morning i received further l. from a pious countess in edinburgh, and s. from deptford. thus the lord has indeed sent something for the orphans. it is now seven months and thirteen days since the orphans began to be received into the new orphan-house. the expenses for them have been since then fifteen hundred and twenty pounds; and yet we have this day more in hand, than when the new orphan-house was opened. unbelief and natural reason would have said, and did say, if there have often been scarcely any means in hand, while the orphans were in the rented houses, and only about in number, how will it be when there shall be in the new orphan-house? but faith's reply was, our poverty has been only for the trial of our faith, and it will be as easy to the lord to provide for as for orphans. and thus we have proved it hitherto, and, no doubt, shall prove it, as long as the lord shall enable us to trust in him. may , . the lord has up to the close of this period helped also for this as well as for the other parts of the work; for during this last week i have received about l. for the current expenses for the orphans. with confidence in the living god i step into the new period, though our expenses are now far heavier than ever they were, being fully assured of his faithfulness. may he be pleased to uphold me during the remainder of my earthly pilgrimage in his fear and truth, and may he graciously be pleased to give me day by day the faith which my circumstances may require. closing account as to the way in which the means were obtained for the expenses connected with the erection, fitting up, and furnishing of the new orphan-house, ashley down, bristol. at the time where the last chapter, referring to this subject, closes, the new orphan-house was being built. part of it was already roofed in, and the remainder was to be roofed not many weeks afterwards. but how much did there yet remain to be done in other respects! a building so considerable as to contain about large windows, would require, even after it was finished, an immense amount of labour, to be fitted up and furnished for persons. then, after this was done, the settling in of the orphans and their teachers and other overseers, needed still more abundant help. further, the obtaining of suitable helpers for this part of the work, was indeed no small matter. lastly, though the lord had been pleased to give me already above eleven thousand pounds for the new orphan-house, yet i needed several thousand pounds more, in order to bring the whole into such a state, as might render the building fit for the reception of the orphans. and now, in looking back, and finding that i not only was helped in all these matters, but also in every one of them far beyond my largest expectations �does it not become me to say to those who love the lord jesus, and into whose hands this account may fall: " magnify the lord with me, and let us exalt his name together!" each one of the foregoing difficulties which still existed on the th of may, , was so great, that if only one of them had remained, and i had not been helped, what would have been the result? but while the prospect before me would have been overwhelming had i looked at it naturally, i was never, even for once, permitted to question what would be the end. for as, from the beginning, i was sure that it was the will of god, that i should go to the work of building for him this large orphan-house, so also, from the beginning, i was as certain that the whole would be finished, as if the building had been already before my natural eyes, and as if the house had been already filled with three hundred destitute orphans. i was therefore of good courage, in the midst of an overwhelming pressure of work yet to be done, and very many difficulties yet to be overcome, and thousands of pounds yet needed; and i gave myself still further to prayer, and sought still further to exercise faith on the promises of god. and now, the work is done, the difficulties are overcome, all the money that was needed has been obtained, and even more than i needed; and, as to helpers in the work, i have obtained even beyond my expectations and prayers. nearly seven years have passed away already [ ] since the new orphan-house was opened, and about three hundred and thirty persons sit down in it day by day to their meals. the godly reader will feel interested in learning now further particulars, as to how it pleased god to assist me in accomplishing my desires, with reference to the preparation of the house for the reception of the children, and i therefore relate the manner in which i received further pecuniary supplies; and, whilst doing so, will here and there make remarks concerning other points, which may throw light on the subject. up to may , , i had received altogether towards meeting the expenses connected with the building of the new orphan-house the sum of , l. s. ½ d. i now state further, some instances, merely as specimens, as to the manner in which it pleased the lord, to provide me further with means for fitting up and furnishing the new orphan-house, without applying to a single individual personally for anything, but only giving myself to prayer. june , . i received l. s. as the "proceeds from the sale of a tree for the new orphan-house." june . received l., of which l. s. is the proceeds from the sale of "a second tree for the new orphan-house," and s. for present use for the orphans.--the reader is here called upon to notice that, whilst i had yet to obtain several thousand pounds for finishing the new orphan-house, all the other current expenses of the various objects of the institution were going on; and for none of all these pecuniary necessities had i any regular certain income whatever, nor did i seek help from any one but the living god only. june . a brother and sister gave four silver table spoons, twelve silver tea spoons, and a pair of silver sugar tongs for sale. aug. . from a sister in the lord l.--with cor. viii. , s. � anonymously from j. h. w. s., as "a thank-offering to the lord for his delivering goodness in sickness."--anonymously s. aug. . from a brother s. this brother had worked overtime, and in prayer he told the lord that, if his employers gave him anything for it, he would give it to the building fund, as he had a great desire to contribute something towards this work, from which he had been kept for want of means. aug. . a brother in the lord having sold his little earthly property, for the sake of spending the money for the lord, brought l. of the proceeds, of which he wished me to take l. for the building fund, and l. for the orphans. aug. . it is this day a twelvemonth since the foundation stone of the new orphan-house was laid, and now the building is up, and almost entirely roofed in. also part of the inside plastering is already done. how can my soul sufficiently magnify the lord for all the help which he has been pleased to give, since this day twelvemonth!--as we are now so far advanced, i have been increasingly entreating god, that he would be pleased to give me the means which are yet requisite for fitting up and furnishing the house; for even now i am completely depending upon him for considerable sums, to accomplish this. but while much is still needed, i have never had, by god's grace, the least misgiving, as to his willingness to give me all i need; on the contrary, i have been assured that, when i actually required the money for the fittings and the furniture, it would come. and now this day the lord has again proved, to me, how willing ha is to act according to my faith; for there was given to me this morning l. under the kind condition that i should take of it l. for my own personal expenses, and the rest for the building fund or the present need of the various objects of the institution, as it appeared best to me. i took therefore l. for the building fund, and placed l. to the school�, bible�, tract�and missionary fund, with the especial intention of using the greater part of this l. for helping home and foreign preachers of the gospel, who labour without any salary, in dependence upon the lord for supplies, knowing the need of many to be very great; for cases of especial distress among them had again recently come before me. my soul does magnify the lord for all his goodness and faithfulness! oct. . this afternoon i received a letter, containing a check for l. with these words: " peter iv. - . the enclosed draft is for mr. müller, to be disposed of according to his own need, and the need of the orphans under his care. may the th psalm continue to be his solace in the fiery trial through which he is passing." i took the whole of this sum towards fitting up and furnishing the new orphan-house. oct. . this evening i received a fifty pound note as a thank-offering to the lord for numberless mercies during a long course of years. the donor desired that brother craik should have l., myself l. for my own personal expenses, and l. were left to me to dispose of as i thought best, for the work of god in my hands, which sum i put to the building fund, with the donor's approval. oct. . from a lady in ireland s.--by sale of turf and grass l. s. d. oct. . by sale of articles s. ½ d.--from a christian gentleman in devonshire l. day by day am waiting upon god for means for furnishing the house. the last-mentioned sum i received when returning from the orphan-houses from our weekly prayer-meeting, where i had been again seeking from god further help, together with my fellow labourers in the work. oct. . from sisters in the lord in devonshire, l., of which they kindly intend one half for the building fund, and the other half for present use for the orphans. nov. . the building is now so far advanced by the help of god, that i was able to arrange yesterday with the clerk of the works to purchase today grates for small rooms, two copper furnaces for the wash-house, and two iron furnaces for the scullery. thus, therefore, the expenses for fitting up the house commence. for all this i had the money in hand, and even some hundreds of pounds more, than the liabilities which are already upon me; yet i want still many hundred pounds to meet all the heavy expenses, connected with fitting up and furnishing so large a building, levelling the ground, making a road through the ground, pitching three large playgrounds, &c. under these circumstances i received this morning anonymously l. for the orphan-house, with psalm cxvi. and the request not to notice the post-mark. as i understood the donor to intend this donation for the building fund, i took it for that. nov. . today the lord has helped still more abundantly. i have received a donation of one thousand pounds, to be used for the building fund and the present necessities of the work generally, as the various objects of the institution might require. of this donation i took, therefore, l. for the building fund, l. for the present necessities of the orphans, l. for missionary purposes, and l. for the circulation of bibles and tracts, and for the various day schools, the sunday school, and the adult school of the institution. all these manifestations of the lord's abundant help do not in the least surprise me. i expect help from him. i know that he listens to my supplications, and that, for the sake of the lord jesus, he is willing to help me yet more and more, to the confounding of satan and to the putting to shame of unbelief. nov. . received a bank order for l. from the neighbourhood of tavistock, which, being left to my disposal, i took for the building fund. nov. . from the neighbourhood of launceston l. dec. . received l. this sum being left to my disposal, i took it for the building fund. jan. , . received from devonshire l., with these words: "a moiety of the first fruits of interest on bristol dock shares from the town council of bristol, towards the new orphan building." thus even the fact, of bristol being made a free port, was used by the lord as a means to supply me with this sum. jan. . the time is now drawing near, when further steps are to be taken to fit up and furnish the house, as more than two-thirds of the rooms are all but ready. under these circumstances i have prayed the more earnestly, day by day, that the lord would be pleased to give me the means which are yet needed; and as my heart has been assured from the beginning, and all through these three years and two months, since i first began to pray about this subject, that god would in every way help me in this work, so i have also been particularly satisfied that he would be pleased to provide the means which may be required to meet all the heavy expenses, which yet remain to be met. now, today i have had again a precious answer to my daily supplications with reference to this work; for i received this evening l., concerning which it was desired that brother craik and myself should each take l. for ourselves; the remaining l. was left entirely to my disposal; yet an especial reference was made to the heavy expenses connected with fitting up and furnishing the new orphan-house, towards which i might, either in part, or entirely take this sum.--after prayer i have decided on portioning out the money thus: l. towards fitting up and furnishing the new orphan-house, l. for present use for the orphans, l. for the support of the day schools, the sunday school, and the adult school, l. for the circulation of the holy scriptures, l. for the circulation of gospel tracts, l. for foreign missions, and l. for the employment fund. with reference to the present of l. for myself, as mentioned just now, i cannot help calling upon the christian reader to observe how richly the lord supplies my own personal necessities. since i have had no regular salary nor any stated income whatever i then began to rely upon the living god alone for the supply of all my temporal necessities; and all these many years have never once been allowed to regret this step, nor has the lord at any time failed me. often, indeed, i have known what it is to be poor; but for the most part i have abounded. i sought no payment from man for my service for god, whether in the ministry of the word or as director of the scriptural knowledge institution; but though i did not seek for any payment, the lord has most abundantly recompensed me, even as to this life. by far the most important point, however, of this my way of living, is, that many of the disciples of the lord jesus have had their hearts comforted, and have been encouraged themselves to trust more in god, than they used to do; and it was, moreover, my becoming more experimentally acquainted, through this way of living, with the readiness of god to help, to succour, to relieve, and to answer prayer, which led me in march to begin the scriptural knowledge institution, and in november to care about destitute orphans. jan. . anonymously from the neighbourhood of nottingham "a gold chain." jan. . from a professional gentleman in bristol l. feb. . the new orphan-house is now almost entirely finished. in six weeks, with the help of god, all will be completed. on this account i have been during the last fortnight much occupied in making the necessary arrangements for fitting it up and furnishing it; but the more. i have been occupied about this, the more i have seen how large a sum the whole of the fittings and the furniture will require; and this consideration has led me still more earnestly of late to entreat the lord, that he would be pleased to give me the means, which may yet be needed for the completion of the whole. under these circumstances a brother in the lord came to me this morning, and after a few minutes conversation gave me two thousand pounds, concerning which sum he kindly gave me permission to use it for the fitting up and furnishing of the new orphan-house, or for any thing else needed in connexion with the orphans. i have placed the whole of this sum, at least for the present, to the building fund. now, dear reader, place yourself in my position. eleven hundred and ninety-five days it is since i began asking the lord for means for the building and fitting up of an orphan-house. day by day have i, by his grace, since that time, continued to bring this matter before him. without one moment's doubt, or misgiving, or wavering, have i been enabled to trust in god for the means. from the beginning, after i had once ascertained the will of god concerning this work, have i been assured that he would bring it about; yea, as sure have i been from the beginning that he would do so, as if i had already had all the means in hand for it, or as if the house had been actually before me, occupied by the children. but though to faith even three years ago the whole work was accomplished, to sight there remained many and great difficulties to be overcome. even at the commencement of this day there remained many difficulties, in the way of means, as well as in other respects; therefore. i was on the point of giving myself again especially to prayer, at the very moment when i was informed that the donor of the above mentioned two thousand pounds had called to see me. now i have the means, as far as i can see, which will enable me to meet all the expenses; and in all probability i shall have even several hundred pounds more than are needed. thus the lord shows that he can and will not only give as much as is absolutely needed for his work, but also that he can and will give abundantly. it is impossible to describe the real joy i had in god, when i received this sum. i was calm, not in the least excited, able to go on immediately with other work that came upon me at once after i had received the donation; but inexpressible was the delight which i had in god, who had thus given me the full answer to my thousands of prayers, during these eleven hundred and ninety-five days. i notice further concerning this donation: , the donor especially desired me to keep his name entirely concealed; and in order that no one might know who he is, he gave me not an order on a bank, but brought the amount in notes. , he had intended to leave me this sum for the benefit of the orphans after his death, and for years it had been in his last will; but he judged it more according to the will of god to give the money during his life time. march . a brother brought me a gold repeater with a gold chain, to which two gold seals and a gold ring were attached, and told me that he desired to give the chain, seals, and ring towards fitting up the new orphan-house, and wished me to get him for the gold repeater a silver watch, as the love of christ had weaned his heart from any desire to use a gold repeater. he also stated, that whatever was over and above the sale of the repeater should go for the benefit of the orphans. i have thus given a few out of the hundreds of donations, varying from one farthing to l., as specimens, to show how the lord was pleased to furnish me with the means. the total amount, which came in for the building fund, was , l. s. d. of this sum , l. s. d. was received by donations in money, l. s. d. came in by the sale of articles, given for the purpose. l. s. d. by the sale of grass and turf from the field, on which the new orphan-house was erected. l. s. d. came in for interest; for i considered that, as a steward of large sums, which were intrusted to me, i ought to invest the money, till it was actually needed; and thus the sum was obtained. after all the expenses had been met for the purchase of the land, the conveyance of the same, the enrolment of the trust deeds in chancery, the building, fitting up and furnishing of the new orphan-house, there remained a balance of l. s. ¾ d., affording a manifest proof that the lord can not only supply us with all we need in his service, simply in answer to prayer, but that he can also give us even more than we need. it will be seen how this balance was afterwards used. miscellaneous points respecting the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, with reference to the period from may , to may , . , during the whole of this period, five day schools, with children in them, were entirely supported by the funds of this institution; and some pecuniary assistance was rendered to four other day schools. also a sunday school, with children, was entirely supported, and another was occasionally assisted. lastly, an adult school, with adult scholars, was supported during this period. there was expended on these various schools l. s. ½ d. during these two years.--the number of all the children that were taught in the day schools through the medium of this institution, from march to may , , amounted to ; the number of those in the sunday schools amounted to ; and the number of the persons in the adult school to . in all . , from may , to may , , were circulated bibles and new testaments. there was expended on this object, during this period, of the funds of the institution, l. s. d. there were circulated altogether, from march , to may , , six thousand four hundred and sixty-five bibles and three thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine new testaments. , from may , , to may , , were spent l. s. d. of the funds of the institution for missionary objects, whereby preachers of the gospel in british guiana, in the east indies, in switzerland, in france, in germany, in canada, in scotland, in ireland, and in england were assisted. the reader will notice how greatly this object of the institution was increased during the last four years previous to may , . this arose from the fact, that, in the early part of , the need of certain brethren who laboured in the word and doctrine came before me, and god laid them on my heart to labour for them in prayer, in order that i might obtain means from him for such brethren to a greater extent than i had done before. ever since then the lord has been pleased increasingly to use me in this way. for from may , to may , , there was spent for that object nearly three times as much as during any former period of the same length; and during the period from may , to may , , i was not only allowed to do as much as before, but to expend even l. s. more than during the former period, notwithstanding all the many heavy additional expenses for the various other objects of the institution. it is my sweet privilege to state, that the labours of many of these forty servants of the lord, whom i assisted, were especially owned of god during these two years. there took place very many conversions through their instrumentality. this applies both to those who laboured among idolaters and those among nominal christians. , from may , to may , the sum of l. s. ½ d. was expended on the circulation of tracts. there were circulated during this period , tracts. the total number which was circulated from nov. , up to may , amounted to , . as the missionary department was considerably enlarged during these two years, so the tract department also increased to nearly three times the extent that it was during the former periods, for which i desire to be grateful to the lord, and i rejoice in it as a means by which the lord may be pleased to do much good; indeed already we can say, we are not without fruit. besides english tracts, we circulated many in german and french, also some in welsh, and a few hundreds in portuguese and italian. on may , , there were orphans in the four orphan-houses in wilson street, bristol. there were admitted, before the new orphan-house was opened, fresh orphans, making in all. of these, however, one was taken by her relatives to australia, to which they emigrated, and wished her to accompany them. three were sent to their relatives till they might be cured, on account of such diseases as made them unfit to be with other children. two fell asleep in jesus as decided believers, of whom the one had been several years in the house and converted some months before her death. the other had been only six months under our care, when she died. almost immediately after her admission she was found to be in consumption, but the lord allowed us the joy of winning her soul for him. two girls were sent out to service, both as believers. and four boys and one girl were apprenticed. the actual number, therefore, of orphans who were removed from the four rented orphan-houses in wilson street, bristol, on june th, th, th, and st, , into the new orphan-house on ashley down, bristol, was . some of these children had been received when the first and second orphan-houses in wilson street were opened, and had therefore been with us, at the time of our removal, more than twelve years, and they remained several years afterwards, for we keep them as long as it appears to us good for them, irrespective of expense. thus we have the joy of seeing very delicate and sickly little children grow up and become healthy young men and women, whilst otherwise, humanly speaking, they might never have been reared, or, at all events have been sickly all their lives for want of a healthy place of abode, of cleanliness, or a sufficient quantity of wholesome and nourishing food. but especially we have in this way the great joy of seeing many of these orphans brought to the knowledge of the lord jesus, through the blessing which god grants to our training them up in his fear from their earliest days. it is never with me a question how much money each child costs, through being retained so long, but only that bodily, mentally, and spiritually they may be benefited through our care. to make them useful for time, and to win their souls for the lord, are our great aims concerning them. after the new orphan-house had been opened, and the orphans from wilson street, with their teachers and other overseers admitted into it, i did not at once receive fresh orphans; but, in order that all the necessary regulations of the new establishment might be properly made, and especially, in order that i myself might first learn what was the best way of regulating it, we waited five weeks before the reception of fresh orphans. on july th, , this commenced, and from that time up to may , , altogether one hundred and seventy orphans were received, from ten months old and upwards, so that on may , , there would have been orphans in the new orphan-house, including the removed into it from wilson street, had there been no changes. but of this number two young children died, two orphans were taken back by their relatives, who were by that time able to provide for them. one boy was sent back to his relations, partly on account of epileptic fits, and partly on account of oft-repeated great disobedience, in order that we might thus make an example of him for the benefit of the rest. three boys were sent to their relatives, as ready to be apprenticed, four boys were apprenticed at the expense of the institution, and provided with an outfit accordingly; and one girl was fitted out and sent to service. there were, therefore, on may , , only two hundred and seventy-five orphans in the new orphan-house; and with the teachers, overseers, nurses, and indoor and out-door servants, &c., the whole number of persons connected with the establishment was three hundred and eight. the total number of orphans, who were under our care from april , up to may , , was four hundred and forty-three. i notice further the following points in connexion with the new orphan-house. . without any sectarian distinction whatever, and without favour or partiality, orphans are received. there is no interest whatever required to get a child admitted, nor is it expected that a certain sum be paid with the orphans. three things only are requisite: a, that the children have been lawfully begotten; b, that they be bereaved of both parents by death; and c, that they be in destitute circumstances. respecting these three points strict investigation is made, and it is expected that each of them be proved by proper documents; but that having been done, children may be admitted from any place, provided there is nothing peculiar in the case that would make them unsuitable inmates for the establishment.--i particularly request, that persons will kindly refrain from applying for children, except they are bereaved of both parents, as i can not receive them, if only bereaved of one; for this establishment has been from the beginning, only for destitute children who have neither father nor mother, and there can be no exceptions made. . the attention of the reader is called to the name of the orphan establishment. it is called the "new orphan-house." i particularly request that the friends of the institution will use this name and earnestly beg, in order to avoid mistake, that it may not be called the "orphan asylum," as there is about half a mile from the spot, where the "new orphan-house" has been erected, another charitable establishment, which has been for many years in existence, called the "female orphan asylum." but most of all i earnestly request, that the new orphan-house be not called "mr. muller's orphan-house." i have now and then been pained by observing that this appellation has been given to it. i trust that none, who recognise the finger of god in this work, will be sinning against him by giving to me any measure of that honour, which so manifestly and altogether is only due to him. the lord led me to this work. he gave me faith for it. he sustained my faith for it to the end. he provided the means. he remarkably helped me through one difficulty after the other. had he not upheld me in the midst of them all, i should have been surely overwhelmed by them. therefore, by his help, i will not sin by taking even in the smallest degree that honour to myself, which entirely belongs to him; and let none be sinning, by giving the least degree of this honour to me, or admiring me, instead of honouring and admiring the lord. . the new orphan-house was placed in the hands of eleven trustees, chosen by me. the deeds were enrolled in chancery. . the new orphan-house is fitted up for the accommodation of orphan girls above seven years of age, orphan boys above seven years, and male and female orphans from their earliest days, till they are about seven or eight years of age. the infants, after having passed the age of seven or eight years, are removed into the different departments for older boys and girls. . the new orphan-house is open to visitors every wednesday afternoon; but the arrangements of the establishment make it needful, that it should be shown only at that time. no exceptions can be made.--the first party of visitors is shown through the house at half-past two o'clock precisely, god permitting the second at three o'clock; and, should there be need for it, the third and last party at half-past three o'clock.--as it takes at least one hour and a half to see the whole establishment, it is requested that visitors will be pleased to make their arrangements accordingly, before they come, as it would be inconvenient, should one or the other leave, before the whole party has seen the house.--from march st to nov. st there may be three parties shown through the house every wednesday afternoon; but from nov. st to march st only two parties can be accommodated, on account of the shortness of the days. . persons who desire to make application for the admission of orphans are requested to write to me and address the letter to my house, no. , paul street, kingsdown, bristol. . without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me, the sum of , l. s. ¼ d. was given to me for the orphans, as the result of prayer to god, from the commencement of the work up to may , .--it may be also interesting to the reader to know that the total amount, which was given as free contributions, for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , amounted to , l. s. ¾ d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the schools, up to may , , amounted to , l. s. ½ d.--besides this also a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, &c., were given for the use of the orphans. . the total of the current expenses for the orphans from may , , to may , , was , l. s. d., and the total of the current expenses for them from may , , to may , , was only , l. s. ¾ d., i.e. only about eleven hundred pounds more than the previous year. to avoid misunderstanding, i would request the reader to keep in mind that, though there were above persons connected with the new orphan-house, on may , , and only about in the rented orphan houses in wilson street, yet above three weeks of the second year the children were still in wilson street, and five weeks afterwards we had only those children who came from wilson street into the new orphan-house; and even when we began to receive fresh orphans, they came in only four, five, six, seven, or eight a-week, so that only by little and little our expenses increased.--it is also needful, in order to have a correct view of the expenses connected with the orphans, to take into account the presents in rice, bread, coals, calico, print, shoes, &c., worth about l., which were given during these two years. matters connected with my own personal affairs, from may , , to may , . dec. , . during this year the lord was pleased to give me� . by anonymous offerings in money, put up in paper, directed to me, and put into the boxes for the poor saints or the rent, at the two chapels. . . . . £ . by presents in money, from believers in bristol, not given anonymously . . . . . by presents in money, from believers not residing in bristol . . . . by presents in provisions, clothes, etc., from believers in and out of bristol, worth to us at least . . . . -------- £ to this is again to be added, for this year also, as before stated, the free education of my daughter at a boarding school, worth at least l. dec. , . the lord sent me during this year� . by anonymous offerings in money, through the boxes in the two chapels . . . . . £ . by presents in money from believers in bristol, not given anonymously . . . by presents in money, from believers not residing in bristol . . . . by presents in articles, worth at least . ------- £ full account of the reasons which led me to the enlargement of the orphan work, so that one thousand orphans might be provided for. having written down at full length the exercises of my mind respecting this deeply important step, i give them here, in the form of a journal, as recorded at the time. dec. , . it is now sixteen years and nine months this evening, since i began the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. this institution was in its beginning exceedingly small. now it is so large, that i have not only disbursed, since its commencement, about fifty thousand pounds sterling, but the current expenses, after the rate of the last months, amount to above £ , a year. i did "open my mouth wide," this very evening fifteen years ago, and the lord has filled it. the new orphan-house is now inhabited by orphans; and there are altogether persons connected with it. my labour is abundant. the separation from my dear wife and child great, on account of my being the greater part of the day at the new orphan-house; sometimes also by night. but notwithstanding all this, i have again and again thought about labouring more than ever in serving poor orphans. within the last ten days this matter has much occupied my mind, and for the last five days i have had much prayer about it. it has passed through my mind to build another orphan-house, large enough for seven hundred orphans, so that i might be able to care for one thousand altogether. the points which have led me to this thought are: , the many distressing cases of children, bereaved of both parents, who have no helper. i have received orphans within the last sixteen months, and have now waiting for admission, without having vacancies for any. i had about children waiting for admission about sixteen months since, so about children have been applied for within these sixteen months. but, humanly speaking, for the next sixteen months the number of applications will be far greater, as the work is now so much more widely known; except it be that persons may hear that the new orphan-house is quite full, and on that account may consider it useless to apply. , the constitution of most other charitable institutions for orphans makes the admission of a really destitute orphan, i.e. a child bereaved of both parents, and without an influential friend, very difficult, if not hopeless; for admission by means of the votes of donors precludes really poor persons from having, in most instances, the benefit of these institutions, as they cannot give the time nor expend the money necessary for obtaining such votes. i have myself seen that certain candidates had several thousand votes. the necessity of this arrangement being continued may be much regretted by many who are connected with such institutions, but they have no power to alter it. in our case nothing is needed but application to me; and the very poorest person, without influence, without friends, without any expense, no matter where he lives, or of whatever religious denomination, who applies for children born in lawful wedlock, bereaved of both parents, and in destitute circumstances, may procure their admission. now as the new poor-law is against giving relief to relatives for orphan children out of the poor houses; and as there is such difficulty for really poor people to get their orphan relatives admitted into ordinary orphan establishments; i feel myself particularly called upon to be the friend of the orphan, by making an easy way for admission, provided it is really a destitute case. , the confidence which god has caused thousands of his children to repose in me, calls upon me to make use of it to the utmost of my power, and to seek yet more largely to be their almoner. , the experience which i have had in this service now for fifteen years, during which time i have gone from the smallest commencement of the work to having at present orphans under my care, calls upon me to make use of this my experience to the utmost. no member of a committee, no president of a society, could possibly have the same experience, except he himself had practically been engaged in such a work for a number of years, as i have been. , this very experience makes things light to me, under god's help, which were difficult formerly, and which would be very difficult now to many; may i not therefore proceed still further? , if more young souls could be brought under regular godly training, (and their number would be renewed from time to time,) what blessed service for the kingdom of christ, and what profitable expenditure of labour too, with the blessing of god, even for this realm in a civil and moral point of view! , but that which outweighs every one of these six reasons, is lastly this: i began this orphan work fifteen years ago for the very purpose of illustrating to the world and to the church that there is verily a god in heaven who hears prayer; that god is the living god. (see fully about this in "narrative of the lord's dealings with george muller," under the reasons why i began the orphan work in , st part, page - of the seventh edition.) now this last object is the more fully accomplished the larger the work is, provided i am helped in obtaining the means simply through prayer and faith. but whilst such thoughts have passed through my mind, there are others of another character. for instance, , i have already an abundance of work. , my dear wife has already an abundance of work. her whole time, with little intermission (except for prayer and reading of the word of god) is occupied directly or indirectly about the orphans. , am i not undertaking too much for my bodily strength and mental powers, by thinking about another orphan-house? , am i not going beyond the measure of my faith in thinking about enlarging the work so as to double or treble it? , is not this a delusion of satan, an attempt to cast me down altogether from my sphere of usefulness, by making me go beyond my measure? , is it not also, perhaps, a snare to puff me up, by attempting to build a very large orphan-house? under these circumstances i can only pray that the lord in his tender mercy would not allow satan to gain an advantage over me. by the grace of god my heart says: lord if i could be sure that it is thy will, that i should go forward in this matter, i would do so cheerfully; and, on the other hand, if i could be sure, that these are vain, foolish, proud thoughts, that they are not from thee, i would, by thy grace, hate them, and entirely put them aside. my hope is in god; he will help and teach me. judging, however, from his former dealings with me, it would not be a strange thing to me, nor surprising, if he called me to labour yet still more largely in this way. the thoughts about enlarging the orphan work have not arisen on account of an abundance of money having lately come in; for i have had of late to wait for about seven weeks upon god, whilst little, very little comparatively, came in, i.e., about four times as much was going out as came in; and, had not the lord previously sent me large sums, we should have been distressed indeed. lord! how can thy servant know thy will in this matter? wilt thou be pleased to teach him! dec. , . during the last six days, since writing the above, i have been, day after day, waiting upon god concerning this matter. it has generally been more or less all the day on my heart. when i have been awake at night, it has not been far from my thoughts. yet all this without the least excitement i am perfectly calm and quiet respecting it. my soul would be rejoiced to go forward in this service, could i be sure that the lord would have me to do so; for then, notwithstanding the numberless difficulties, all would be well, and his name would be magnified. on the other hand, were. i assured that the lord would have me to be satisfied with my present sphere of service, and that i should not pray about enlarging the work, by his grace i could, without an effort, cheerfully yield to it; for he has brought me into such a state of heart, that i only desire to please him in this matter. moreover, hitherto i have not spoken about this thing even to my beloved wife, the sharer of my joys, sorrows and labours for more than twenty years; nor is it likely that i shall do so for some time to come: for i prefer quietly to wait on the lord, without conversing on this subject, in order that thus i may be kept the more easily, by his blessing, from being influenced by things from without. the burden of my prayer concerning this matter is, that the lord would not allow me to make a mistake, and that he would teach me his will. as to outward things, i have had nothing to encourage me during these six days, but the very reverse; for the income, for the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, has been unusually small, only l. s. altogether, while the outgoings have been l. s. d. but all this would not weigh the least with me, could i be quite sure that the lord would have me to go forward. the especial burden of my prayer therefore is, that god would be pleased to teach me his will. my mind has also been especially pondering, how i could know his will satisfactorily concerning this particular. sure i am, that i shall be taught. i therefore desire patiently to wait for the lord's time, when he shall be pleased to shine on my path concerning this point. dec. . fifteen days have elapsed since i wrote the preceding paragraph. every day since then i have continued to pray about this matter, and that with a goodly measure of earnestness, by the help of god. there has passed scarcely an hour during these days, in which, whilst awake, this matter has not been more or less before me. but all without even a shadow of excitement. i converse with no one about it. hitherto have i not even done so with my dear wife. from this i refrain still, and deal with god alone about the matter, in order that no outward influence, and no outward excitement ay keep me from attaining unto a clear discovery of his will. i have the fullest and most peaceful assurance, that he will clearly show me his will. this evening i have had again an especial solemn season for prayer, to seek to know the will of god. but whilst i continue to entreat and beseech the lord, that he would not allow me to be deluded in this business, i may say i have scarcely any doubt remaining on my mind as to what will be the issue, even that i should go forward in this matter. as this, however, is one of the most momentous steps that i have ever taken, i judge that i cannot go about this matter with too much caution, prayerfulness, and deliberation. i am in no hurry about it. i could wait for years, by god's grace, were this his will, before even taking one single step towards this thing, or even speaking to any one about it; and, on the other hand, i would set to work tomorrow, were the lord to bid me do so. this calmness of mind, this having no will of my own in the matter, this only wishing to tease my heavenly father in it, this only seeking his and not my honour in it; this state of heart, i say, is the fullest assurance to me that my heart is not under a fleshly excitement, and that, if i am helped thus to go on, i shall know the will of god to the full. but, while. i write thus, i cannot but add at the same time, that i do crave the honour and the glorious privilege to be more and more used by the lord. i have served satan much in my younger years, and desire now with all my might to serve god, during the remaining days of my earthly pilgrimage. i am forty-five years and three months old. every day decreases the number of days that i have to stay on earth. i therefore desire with all my might to work. there are vast multitudes of orphans to be provided for. about five years ago, a brother in the lord told me he had seen in an official report, that there were at that time six thousand young orphans in the prisons of england. my heart longs to be instrumental in preventing such young orphans from having to go to prison. i desire to be used by the lord as an instrument in providing all the necessary temporal supplies, not only for the now under my care, but for more. i desire to alleviate yet further the sufferings of poor dying widows, when looking on their helpless orphans, about to be left behind. i desire yet further to assist poor persons to whom destitute orphans are left, and who are unable to provide for them. i desire to be allowed to provide scriptural instruction for a thousand orphans; instead of doing so for . i desire to expound the holy scriptures regularly to a thousand orphans, instead of doing so to . i desire that thus it may be yet more abundantly manifest that god is still the hearer and answerer of prayer, and that he is the living god now, as he ever was and ever will be, when he shall, simply in answer to prayer, have condescended to provide me with a house for orphans, and with means to support them. this last consideration is the most important point in my mind. the lord's honour is the principal point with me in this whole matter; and just because that is the case, if he would be more glorified by my not going forward in this business, i should, by his grace, be perfectly content to give up all thoughts about another orphan-house. surely in such a state of mind, obtained by the holy spirit, thou, o my heavenly father, wilt not suffer thy child to be mistaken, much less to be deluded! by the help of god i shall continue further, day by day, to wait upon him in prayer concerning this thing, till he shall bid me act. jan. , . a week ago i wrote the preceding paragraph. during this week i have still been helped, day by day, and more than once every day, to seek the guidance of the lord about another orphan-house. the burden of my prayer has still been, that he, in his great mercy, would keep me from making a mistake. during the last week the book of proverbs has come in the course of my scripture reading, and my heart has been refreshed, in reference to this subject, by the following passages: "trust in the lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." prov. iii. , . by the grace of god i do acknowledge the lord in my ways, and in this thing in particular; i have therefore the comfortable assurance that he will direct my paths concerning this part of my service, as to whether i shall be occupied in it or not. further: "the integrity of the upright shall preserve them; but the perverseness of fools shall destroy them." prov. xi. . by the grace of god i am upright in this business. my honest purpose is to get glory to god. therefore. i expect to be guided aright. further, "commit thy works unto the lord and thy thoughts shall be established." prov. xvi. . i do commit my works unto the lord, and therefore expect that my thoughts will be established.--my heart is more and more coming to a calm, quiet, and settled assurance, that the lord will condescend to use me yet further in the orphan work. here, lord, is thy servant! jan. . twelve days have passed away since i wrote the last paragraph. i have still, day by day, been enabled to wait upon the lord with reference to enlarging the orphan work, and have been, during the whole of this period also, in perfect peace, which is the result of seeking in this thing only the lord's honour and the temporal and spiritual benefit of my fellowmen. without an effort could i, by his grace, put aside all thoughts about this whole affair, if only assured that it is the will of god i should do so; and, on the other hand, would at once go forward, if he would have it to be so. i have still kept this matter entirely to myself. though it is now about seven weeks, since day by day, more or less, my mind has been exercised about it, and since i have daily prayed concerning it; yet not one human being knows of it. as yet i have not mentioned it even to my dear wife, in order that thus, by quietly waiting upon the lord, i might not be influenced by what might be said to me on the subject. this evening has been particularly set apart for prayer, beseeching the lord once more, not to allow me to be mistaken in this thing, and much less to be deluded by the devil. i have also sought to let all the reasons against building another orphan-house, and all the reasons for doing so, pass before my mind; and now, for the sake of clearness and definiteness, write them down. reasons against establishing another orphan-house for seven hundred orphans. . would not this be going beyond my measure spiritually? according to that word: "for i say through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as god has dealt to every man the measure of faith." rom. xii. . answer: if the lord were to leave me to myself, the tenth part of the difficulties and trials, which befall me now in connexion with the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, would be enough to overwhelm me; but, whilst he is pleased to sustain me, i am able day by day to pass on peacefully, and am carried through one difficulty after the other: and thus, by god's help, even with my present measure of faith, if continued to me, should be enabled to bear up under other difficulties and trials; but i look for an increase of faith with every fresh difficulty, through which the lord is pleased to help me. . would it not be going beyond my measure naturally with reference to mental and bodily strength? answer: of all the objections against establishing another orphan-house, there is none that weighs more with me than this; i might say, it is the only real difficulty. this, however, too, i am enabled to put aside and to overcome thus: by husbanding my strength, by great order, by regular habits, by lightening the work as much as possible, and by using every help that i can, i have been enabled to get through a vast quantity of work. my immense correspondence of about letters a-year, i have been enabled to accomplish without a secretary. the entire management and direction, and the whole vast correspondence of the scriptural knowledge institution has devolved upon myself alone these sixteen years and ten months, and i have been thinking that, by seeking for an efficient secretary, an efficient clerk, and an inspector of the schools, i might, with god's help, accomplish yet more, though much of what i have been doing hitherto would need to be done by others. there have been several other arrangements brought before my mind, since i have been exercised about this matter, whereby, with the blessing of god, the work might be lightened. i should certainly need efficient helpers to carry out the plans before me; but with such, i, as director, might be enabled, by god's help, to accomplish yet more. . there must be a limit to my work and service. answer: that is true, and if i were quite sure that the present state of the scriptural knowledge institution were to be the limit, i would at once lay aside this thing; but i am not sure that i am come as yet to god's limit. all these sixteen years and ten months, the work has been constantly progressing, and the lord has helped me continually; and now my mind is just in the same way exercised, as when fifteen years ago i began the orphan work, and as when thirteen years ago it was enlarged, and as when seven years and nine months since it was still further enlarged, and as when five years and two months since i was led to decide on building the new orphan-house. under these circumstances, having been helped through all these difficulties, and seeing such a vast field of usefulness before me, and having so many applications for the admission of very destitute orphans, i long to be used still further, and cannot say that as yet the lord has brought me to his limit. . is it not like "tempting god," to think of building another orphan-house for seven hundred more orphans? answer: "tempting god" means, according to the holy scriptures, to limit him in any of his attributes by his grace i do not wish to limit his power or his willingness, to give to me, his poor servant, simply in answer to prayer, all the means, and every other help and blessing which i shall need to build another large orphan-house. . you will not get the means for building and fitting up so large an orphan-house; and, even if you did, how will you, at the same time, get the means for carrying on the work, which already exists? answer: looking at the matter naturally, this is indeed a weighty objection. the new orphan-house, with its orphans only, cost about fifteen thousand pounds to build and to fit up and furnish, and still the expenses are not all met even now. it will in all probability cost several hundred pounds yet. and this large sum was needed, though the style of the building is most simple, and though the field in which it was built was comparatively cheap. after this rate, a building to accommodate seven hundred orphans, with the necessary ground attached to it for the cultivation of the vegetables used in the institution, could not be less than thirty-five thousand pounds. now, looking at it naturally, where is this great sum to come from? though i looked at all my friends who have given hitherto, and several have done so very liberally, yet there is no natural prospect whatever of receiving this amount; especially if it be kept in mind that six or seven thousand pounds besides, every year, would be needed for carrying on that which is already in existence. i might, therefore, well tremble, looking at the matter naturally, and say, i shall never have the money for this intended orphan-house for children; for where is this large sum of thirty-five thousand pounds to come from? and even if i were to get the money, will not persons, in giving means for such a building-fund, take it away from what they might have given me for carrying on the work which exists already? but whilst thus, naturally, there is no hope of succeeding, i am not in the least discouraged spiritually; for by faith in the living god i say this: he has the power to give me this thirty-five thousand pounds, and much more, were it needed: and he has the power, in the mean time., to give me also all the large sums required, week after week, for meeting the current expenses for the present state of the work. moreover, i delight in the greatness of the difficulty, as it respects the large sum needed for building and fitting up such an establishment; for i desire to be most fully assured, from the very outset, that i go forward in this matter according to the lord's bidding. if so, he will give me the means; if not, i shall not have them. nor do i mean to apply to any one personally for pecuniary help, but purpose to give myself to prayer for means, as heretofore. . suppose now, you were even to succeed in getting this large orphan house built, how will you be able to provide for other orphans? answer: there is much weight in this objection, looking at it naturally. i am too much a man of business, and too much a person of calm, quiet, cool calculation, not to feel its force. and indeed, were i only to look at the thing naturally, i should at once be ready to own that i am going too far; for the increase of expenditure for the support of these other orphans could not be less than eight thousand pounds a-year more, so that the current expenses of the scriptural knowledge institution, reckoning its present state, and including those eight thousand pounds, would be about fifteen thousand pounds a-year. now, i am free to own, that i have no human prospect of obtaining such a sum year by year. but while matters stand thus, looking at them naturally, i see no difficulty at all in them spiritually. if according to the will of god i am enabled to go about this intended second orphan house; and if, with his help, i shall be enabled to finish it; he will surely provide for those who are gathered together in it, as long as he shall be pleased to enable me to trust in him for supplies. and here i look back upon the way in which the lord has led me and dealt with me. when, about seventeen years ago, i took up, in dependence upon the living god for means, two charity schools, with which the scriptural knowledge institution commenced (and this involved an expense of less than one hundred pounds a-year), i had no certain prospect of being able to meet even that small sum; but god so helped me, that i had shortly six charity schools. he helped me then also, and enabled me to meet all their expenses. when, fifteen years ago, i began the orphan work, which was connected with far heavier expenses, i had still less prospect, according to natural reason, of being able to meet them; but i trusted in god, and he helped me, and he not only enabled me to meet the current expenses for thirty orphans in the first house rented for them, but also soon to open another for thirty-six more, and to meet all those expenses; for as i had begun in faith in the living god, and not by putting my trust in my brethren in christ, so i was not confounded. after i had gone on some time with these orphans in the two rented houses, about thirteen years ago the lord was pleased greatly to encourage me and to increase my faith by a donation of l. for the orphans; for up to that period i had never received more than one hundred pounds at once. but this kind donor, a stranger to me up to that time, suggested to me the propriety of investing this sum and using only the interest of it, as i could not expect to have the orphans supported for a continuance in the way they had been till then; for that such institutions must depend upon regular subscriptions or funded property, otherwise they could not go on. as, however, this was only a friendly hint, and no condition under which the money was given, i took this l. towards fitting up a third house for the reception of thirty more orphans. from that time the work has been increasing more and more, till it came to what it is at present. now, suppose i had said, seventeen years ago, looking at matters according to natural reason, "the two charity schools are enough, i must not go any further;" then the work would have stopped there. or, if i had had a little more trust in my exertions or my friends, i might have taken at the utmost one or two steps further. instead of this, however, i looked in no degree whatever at things according to my natural fallen reason, and trusted not in the circle of my christian friends, but in the living god; and the result has been, that there have been since ten thousand souls under our instruction in the various day schools, sunday schools and adult schools; several hundred orphans have been brought up, and many of them from their very tenderest infancy; several hundred thousand tracts and many thousand copies of the word of god have been circulated; about forty preachers of the gospel at home and abroad have been, for several years, assisted in connection with the scriptural knowledge institution; and a house has been built and fitted up for the accommodation of destitute orphans, each of whom has neither father nor mother. how blessed therefore it is to trust in god, and in him alone, and not in circumstances nor friends there is, however, one thing which i must record here, because it has taken place since i last wrote in my journal on this subject on january nd. it is this. during these twelve days i have received for the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution in smaller donations l. s. ½ d., also a donation of l. and one of l. is not this a plain proof that god is both able and willing to help simply in answer to prayer? is not human reason confounded by such instances? when i first began to write these exercises of my mind about another orphan house, i knew not that on january th i should receive a donation of l., yet i was fully assured that god was able to support one thousand orphans as easily as he did the thirty whom i first received in a rented house. does he not, however, tell me by all this: go forward, my servant, and i will help thee? . but it might be said, suppose you were able by prayer to obtain this large sum for building a house for seven hundred other orphans; and suppose you were able to provide for them during your lifetime, what would become of this institution after your death? answer: i am quite familiar with this objection, having heard it many times as a reason against the way of obtaining the means for the scriptural knowledge institution, simply by trusting in god, without any funded property, and without looking to regular subscribers; but my reply is this. my business is, with all my might to serve my own generation; in doing so i shall best serve the next generation, should the lord jesus tarry. soon he may come again but, if he tarry, and i have to fall asleep before his return, i shall not have been altogether without profit to the generation to come, were the lord only to enable me to serve my own generation. suppose this objection were a sound one, i ought never to have commenced the orphan. work at all, for fear of what might become of it after my death, and thus all the hundreds of destitute children without father and mother, whom the lord has allowed me to care for, during the last fifteen years, would not have been taken up by me. the same argument was again and again used to franké, my esteemed countryman, who at hallé, in prussia, commenced about a.d. , the largest charitable establishment for poor children that, as far as i know, exists in the world. he trusted in god alone. he went on trusting in god alone. and god helped him throughout abundantly. simply by trust in the living god the institutions, resembling a large street rather than a house, were erected, and about two thousand children instructed in them. for about thirty years all was going on under his own eye, until , when it pleased god to take his servant to himself. at his death these institutions were directed by his truly pious son-in-law. it is true that, at the latter part of the last century, and during the first part of the present, there was little real vital godliness in these institutions; still they were a temporal blessing to many tens of thousands of young persons even then. so then for several tens of years they were carried on in a truly godly way, after franké's death, and when afterwards there was but little real, vital godliness found in these schools, yet tens of thousands of children were benefited at least for this life. now these institutions have existed already years, and are in existence still: and, if the lord jesus tarry, are likely, humanly speaking, to exist hereafter, as they have existed hitherto. suppose then, that dear man of god, a. h. franké, had listened to the suggestions of unbelief, and said, i must not undertake this work, for what will become of it after my death, then all the blessing which spiritually resulted from it to thousands, and all the temporal benefits which have resulted from it to hundreds of thousands, would have been lost. i add, however, this. the new orphan house has been placed in the hands of eleven trustees, and has been properly enrolled in chancery, and so also, should god condescend to honour me further in building for him this intended house for orphans, it would likewise be placed in the hands of trustees and enrolled in chancery. one word in conclusion on this subject: let every one take heed lest, in caring about what will become of the next generation, he forget to serve his own generation. the latter each one should seek to do with his might, and thus it should be with each succeeding generation; then, though we be dead, yet should we be speaking. a. h. franké is long since gone to his rest, but he spoke to my soul in , and he is speaking to my soul now; and to his example i am greatly indebted for having been stirred up to care about poor children in general, and about poor orphans in particular. . the last objection which has occurred to my own mind is, that by building another orphan house, i should be in danger of being lifted up. answer: i should be in danger of it indeed, and am in great danger, even were i not in the least degree to go forward. yea, the tenth part of the honour which the lord has condescended to bestow upon me, and the tenth part of service with which he has been pleased to intrust me, would be enough, if i were left to myself, exceedingly to puff me up. i cannot say that hitherto the lord has kept me humble; but i can say, that hitherto he has given me a hearty desire to give to him all the glory, and to consider it a great condescension on his part that he has been pleased to use me as an instrument in his service. i do not see, therefore, that fear of being lifted up ought to keep me from going forward in this work; but that i have rather to beseech the lord that he would be pleased to give me a lowly mind, and never suffer me to rob him of the glory which is due to him alone. jan. . great pressure of work has kept me from going on writing my reasons for establishing another orphan-house till now, but being more and more convinced that it is of god i should do so, i now proceed in writing. reasons for establishing another orphan house for seven hundred orphans. . the many applications for the admission of destitute orphans, which continue to be made, i consider as a call from god upon me, to do all that is in my power to provide a home and scriptural education for a still greater number of orphans. nothing but positive inability to go forward ought to keep me standing still, whilst i have almost daily fresh entreaties to receive orphans. since i began writings on this subject in my journal, thirty more orphans have been applied for, from two years old and upwards. i cannot refuse to help, as long as i see a door open, and opened by god, as i consider, to help them. . the moral state of the poorhouses greatly influences me to go forward. i have heard it again and again, from good authority, that children, placed in the unions, are corrupted, on account of the children of vagrants, and other very bad young people who are in such places; so that many poor relatives of orphans, though unable to provide for them, cannot bear the idea of their going there, lest they should be corrupted. i therefore judge that, even for the sake of keeping orphans of poor yet respectable people from being obliged to mix with the children of vagabonds, i ought to do, to my utmost power, all i can to help them. for this reason, then, i purpose, in dependence upon the living god, to go forward and to establish another orphan house for seven hundred destitute children, who are bereaved of both parents. when writing thus about the poorhouses, i do not wish it to be understood in the way of reproof; for i know not how these matters could be altered; but simply state the fact that thus it is. . in this purpose i am the more confirmed, since it is a fact, that the orphan houses already in existence in the kingdom are by no means sufficient to admit even the most deserving and distressing cases, and far less all that it would be well to provide for. moreover, there is great difficulty connected with the admission of orphans into most of the ordinary orphan establishments, on account of the votes which must be obtained, so that really needy persons have neither time nor money to obtain them. does not the fact that there were six thousand young orphans in the prisons of england about five years ago, call aloud for an extension of orphan institutions? by god's help, i will do what i can, to keep poor orphans from prison. . in this purpose i am still further encouraged by the great help which the lord has hitherto given me in this blessed service. when i look at the small beginning, and consider how the lord has helped me now for more than fifteen years in the orphan work; and when i consider how he has been pleased to help me through one great difficulty after another; and when i consider, especially, how, as with an unseen hand, almost against my will and former desires and thoughts, he has led me on from one step to another, and has enlarged the work more and more: i say, when i review all this, and compare with it my present exercise of mind, i find the great help, the uninterrupted help, which the lord has given me for more than fifteen years, a great reason for going forward in this work. and this, trusting in him, i am resolved to do. . a further reason for going forward in this service i see in the experience which i have had in it. from the smallest commencement up to the present state of the establishment, with its orphans, all has gone through my own hands. in the work itself i obtained the experience. it has grown with the work. i have been the sole director of the work, under god, from its smallest commencement. now this is not an every day case. no committee member of a society, no president or vice-president of an institution, except they had been situated as myself, could have this experience. coupled with this is the measure of gift which the lord has been pleased to give me for such work, and for the exercise of which i am responsible to him. these things, in connexion with the former reasons, it appears to me, are a call from god to go forward in a greater degree than ever in this work. . the spiritual benefit of still more orphans is another especial reason, why i feel called to go forward. the orphans, who have been under my care hitherto, were almost all the children of parents who were naturally weak in body, if not consumptive. the very fact of a child being deprived of both parents when four, five, six, or seven years old, shows that, except the parents lost their lives by casualty, they were constitutionally weak. on this account young orphans, generally speaking, require particular care as to their health. in this respect i desire to care for them; but there is more than that to be attended to. i further heartily desire to keep them from the corrupting and demoralizing effect of the lowest sort of children in the streets, courts and unions; but i desire more for them than mere decency and morality. i desire that they should be useful members of society, and that the prisons of the united kingdom should not be filled with poor, destitute, and homeless orphans. we bring them up therefore in habits of industry, and seek to instruct them in those things which are useful for the life that now is; but i desire more than this for the orphans. i cannot be satisfied with anything concerning them short of this, that their souls be won for the lord. for this reason i long to have them from their earliest days, yea, the younger the better, under my care, that thus, under godly nurses and teachers, they may be brought up in the fear of the lord. now as this is the chief and primary aim concerning the dear orphans, even the salvation of their souls through faith in the lord jesus, i long to be more extensively used than hitherto, even that i may have a thousand of them instead of three hundred under my care. . but there is one point which weighs more strongly with me than even the last mentioned one. it is this. when i began the orphan work more than fifteen years ago, it was for the definite and especial purpose, that, by means of it, the unconverted might see, through the answers of prayer that i received in connection with it, that there is verily reality in the things of god; and that the children of god might have their faith strengthened by means of it, and be encouraged, in all simplicity to deal with god under every circumstance, and trust in him at all times. but if this would be answered in a measure by the state in which the orphan work has been in former times, and more so by what it has been since the erection of the new orphan house, it would be still more so, by the blessing of god, by my going forward in it to a far greater degree than before. this point, even the glory of god in the manifestation of his readiness to hear prayer, has weighed especially and supremely with me in purposing to enlarge the orphan work. . lastly, i am peaceful and happy, spiritually, in the prospect of enlarging the work, as on former occasions when i had to do so. this weighs particularly with me as a reason for going forward. after all the calm, quiet, prayerful consideration of the subject for about eight weeks, i am peaceful and happy, spiritually, in the purpose of enlarging the field. this, after all the heart searching which i have had, and the daily prayer to be kept from delusion and mistake in this thing, and the be-taking myself to the word of god, would not be the case, i judge, had not the lord purposed to condescend to use me more than ever in this service. i, therefore, on the ground of the objections answered, and these eight reasons for enlarging the work, come to the conclusion that it is the will of the blessed god, that his poor and most unworthy servant should yet more extensively serve him in this work, which he is quite willing to do. up to this day, january , , i have not spoken to one human being about it. as yet even my dear wife knows not about it. i purpose to keep the matter still for some time entirely to myself, dealing with god alone about it, in order that no outward excitement may be in the least degree a stimulus to me. i still pray to be kept from mistake and delusion in this thing, not that i think i am mistaken or deluded, quite the reverse; but yet i would distrust myself and cling to god, to be kept from mistakes and delusions. january st. for several weeks past i have had no doubt that the lord would have me to serve him in the erection and fitting up of another orphan-house for seven hundred orphans, and i am quite decided on doing so, with his help, and i am now quiet about it, not because i have the least misgiving in my own mind, but because i know that it is most suitable that i should still for some time continue to deal quietly with god alone about it. march th. nearly five weeks have passed away since i wrote the last paragraph, and my mind has not been once, during this time, even for a moment, in uncertainty as to what i ought to do. it is now about fifteen weeks since i have been especially praying about this subject, and three months since. i began first to write on the subject in my journal, and about ten weeks since i have had any doubt as to what is the will of the lord concerning this service. i believe that, altogether unworthy though i am of this great honour, he will condescend to use me further and more extensively than before in caring for destitute children who are bereaved of both parents. and this i purpose to do. april th. another month has passed away, and my mind is just in the same state as it was when i wrote in my journal on the subject on march th. may th. one more month has passed away, and still my mind remains quietly assured that, utterly unworthy though i am to be allowed to go forward in this work, and great though the difficulties are, which must be overcome, yet that it is the will of god i should serve him in this way. it is now this day five months since i first wrote on this subject in my journal, and longer even than that since it has been before rue, during which time i have day by day prayed concerning this matter. may th. from the time that i began to write down the exercises of my mind on dec. th, , till this day, ninety-two more orphans have been applied for, and seventy-eight were already waiting for admission before. but this number increases rapidly as the work becomes more and more known. on the ground of what has been recorded above, i purpose to go forward in this service, and to seek to build, to the praise and honour of the living god, another orphan-house, large enough to accommodate seven hundred orphans. when i published these exercises of my mind, and made known my purpose respecting the intended orphan-house for orphans, in the twelfth report of the scriptural knowledge institution, the following particulars were added to what has been stated. . all this time, though now six months have elapsed since. i first began to be exercised about this matter, i have never once been led to ask the lord for means for this work, but have only continued day by day to seek guidance from him as to whether i should undertake it or not. . the means requisite, to accomplish the building and fitting up of a house, which shall be really suitable for my intended purposes, though the building be quite simple, cannot be less than thirty-five thousand pounds, including fifteen or twenty acres of land round the building for cultivation by the spade, in order to obtain out of our own grounds all the vegetables, which are so important to the health of the children. . i do not mean to begin the building until i have the means requisite in hand, just as was the case with regard to the new orphan-house. if god will condescend to use me in building for him another orphan-house (as i judge he will), he will give me the means for it. now though i have not on my mind any doubt left that it is his will i should do so; yet there is one point still wanting for confirmation, and that is that he will also furnish me, without personal application to any one, with all the means requisite for this new part of my service. i the more need also to my own soul this last of all the proofs that i have not been mistaken, in order to have unquestionable assurance that, whatever trials hereafter may be allowed to befall me in connexion with this work, i did not at my own bidding and according to my own natural desire undertake it, but that it was under the guidance of god. the greatness of the sum required affords me a kind of secret joy; for the greater the difficulty to be overcome, the more will it be seen to the glory of god, how much can be done by prayer and faith; and also, because, when god himself overcomes our difficulties for us, we have, in this very fact, the assurance that we are engaged in his work and not in our own. . it is intended to place this orphan-house also, as was the new orphan-house, in the hands of godly trustees. . orphans from any part of the world, provided they speak english, if bereaved of both parents, lawfully begotten, and in destitute circumstances, are intended to be admitted, as is the ease now, irrespective of any sectarian feeling or preference whatever. neither entrance money nor any particular interest will be required, in order to obtain a ticket for the admission of destitute orphans, bereaved of both parents, as long as there is room. . individuals who desire to contribute towards the building fund for this intended orphan-house for seven hundred destitute orphans, are requested to state that the donation is "for the building fund." indeed concerning all the donations for any part of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, it is requested that the donors will kindly state, for what they wish their donations to be applied; or to say expressly that they leave the application of their donations to me, as the various objects may more particularly need help. supplies for the school�, bible�, missionary and tract fund, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . at the commencement of this period it was my purpose to seek help from the lord that i might be able, in a still greater degree than before, to assist brethren who labour in the gospel, at home and abroad, in dependence upon god for their temporal supplies, and to labour more than ever in the circulation of the holy scriptures and of simple gospel tracts. the following extracts from my journal will now show how kind the lord has been in answering my requests, and in furnishing me with the means for carrying out the desire of my heart. june , . today i have received l. for missions from a brother whose heart the lord has inclined to spend, as a steward of god, a second property, with which he has intrusted him. june . received l., the disposal of which was left to me. i took half for the orphans and half for these objects. june . received from c. w. l. for missions.--by these sums which, besides smaller donations, came in within the first fifteen days of this period, i was able to begin to carry out my purpose; and as the lord enabled me, without anxious reckoning, to go on giving out as he was pleased to intrust me with means, so again he sent further supplies before all was gone. it is a point of great importance in the divine life, not to be anxiously reckoning about the morrow, nor dealing out sparingly, on account of possible future wants, which never may come; but to consider, that only the present moment to serve the lord is ours, and that the morrow may never come to us. july . l. has come in today. the donor kindly gave me permission to use this amount as might be most needed. i took therefore l. of it for the orphans, the other for these objects. of the various donations which came in for these objects, between july nd and aug. th, i only mention, that i received on aug. th a silver salver, silver table spoons, a silver sugar spoon, and a silver mustard spoon; all to be sold for missionary purposes. on aug. th a christian friend gave me l., of which i took one half for missionary operations and the other half for the orphans, as the donation was left at my disposal as most needed. aug. . today i have received from the same donor, who sent me on june th l., another donation of l, of which he wishes me to apply l. for the use of the orphans and l. for missionary purposes. this day i have also received a donation of l., of which i took half for the orphans, and half for these objects.--several other small donations came in on the following day. aug. . have received from c. w. l., of which the donor kindly intends l. for foreign missions, l. for the orphans, and l. for my own personal expenses. i have sent out already during this month l. to home and foreign labourers, and the lord continues to give me means for this and all the other parts of the work. sept. . received again l., of which i took half for the orphans and half for these objects. sept. . today i received a registered letter from the donor referred to under june th and aug. th containing four hundred pounds and these words: "dear brother, herewith i send you l., of which three parts are to be expended on missionaries, the rest you may expend on the orphans, if needed; else the whole to be disposed of to the lord's ministering servants. i thank you for your prayers that i may not regret this step. were the lord to come tomorrow, how glad i should be that the whole was thus sent on before me! . . if yourself or dear brother craik (to whom give my love in christ) are at all in need, scruple not to take five pounds each. yours in the lord jesus, * * * * *" i took the whole amount for labourers in the word and doctrine. my soul does magnify the lord for his condescension in listening to my supplications, and, in answer to them, sending me means, and thus allowing me more and more to help missionary brethren. during the last five weeks i have sent again to them about l., but i long to be more than ever their servant. what the donor says about "the money going before him," is in reference to his having now spent two properties for the lord. sept. . still further abundant help. received from a new donor l., which, being left at my disposal as most needed, i took of it l. for the orphans, and l. for these objects. oct. . the lord condescends to use me more and more as his steward. today i have again received l., which might be used as most needed. i have therefore taken of it l. for the orphans, and the other half for these objects. oct. . since oct. th many small donations have come in, chiefly for missions; now today i received again l., of which i took one half for the orphans, and the other half for these objects. by these donations (large and small) the lord enables me to send more and more help to home and foreign labourers. during the last seven weeks, only little, comparatively, has come in for these objects, while several hundred pounds have been expended; yet, through the rich abundance which the lord had sent me before, i have not only had no lack of means, but had still about l. in hand, before this donation was received today. nevertheless it was very sweet to receive it as the fruit of earnest prayer for several weeks, as so little, comparatively, had come in during the last seven weeks. dec. . this evening was given to me l. as the donor stated in the course of conversation, that he felt especially interested about those brethren who labour in the gospel in various countries, whom i seek to assist, i took of this sum l. for that object, and l. for the orphans. jan. , . this evening i received three thousand pounds, of which i took half for these objects, and half for the orphans, as the disposal of it was entirely left to me. i am thus enabled more and more to enlarge the work, and to assist increasingly home and foreign labourers in the word. when i gave myself more particularly to this part of the work, now about six years since, i had not the least human prospect of being able to do so much; but the lord has been pleased to condescend to listen to my supplications on behalf of these brethren who trust in him for their temporal supplies. i am in this way also furnished with means, on a larger scale than ever, to circulate copies of the holy scriptures and simple gospel tracts, which was always of deep importance, but in these days of increasing darkness more so than ever. jan. . a further rich supply. i have received l., of which i took half for the orphans and half for these objects, as the disposal of it was left to me. feb. . the donor, who has spent two properties in the service of the lord, receiving a present of l., sent me today l. of it for missions. this instance shows, that if we use the means with which the lord may intrust us, as stewards for him, he will make us stewards over more. since feb. , the donor just now referred to has come into the possession of a third property, which likewise, as the two previous ones, he has entirely spent for the lord. march . exceedingly little, comparatively, has come in since jan. th; yet, as i had means, i expended them to the full degree in which it appeared to me that the lord pointed out openings, and, in the meantime, i continued praying for more means. now the lord has again given much encouragement for continuing to wait upon him, by a donation of l., received today, of which the donor kindly wishes me to take l. for my own personal expenses, and the l. to be used as may be most needed, which sum i have divided between the orphans and the other objects. april . from c. w. l. for foreign missions. april . further supplies for missionary purposes. this evening found a letter containing a check for l., of which the donor intends one half for missionary purposes, and the other for the orphans. april . received l., of which i took half for the orphans and half for these objects. besides the donations above referred to, of a larger kind, i received for these objects more than two hundred other donations in pence, shillings, pounds, five pounds, ten pounds, and upwards, during this period. in order to save room i have refrained from particularizing these smaller sums, and especially because it was my more immediate object to show, by the above, how bountifully the lord was pleased to furnish me with means for the carrying out my desires concerning these objects. yea, the lord so abundantly supplied me with means, that during the whole of this period there came not one single case before me in which it would have been desirable to help, according to the measure of light given to me, or to extend the work, without my having at the same time ample means for doing so. in the midst of the great depression of the times, which was so generally felt, and on account of which, humanly speaking, i also might have been exceedingly tried for want of means, i, on the contrary, at no period of the work for the seventeen years previous had a greater abundance of means. i do on purpose lay stress upon this, because i desire that it may become increasingly known, that there is no easier, no better, and no happier way in the end than god's way, and this in particular also with regard to the obtaining of means, simply in answer to prayer, without personal application to any one. i value all the smaller donations which have not been referred to, as well as the larger ones; and many of them, in the sight of the lord, may have been greater donations than the hundreds of pounds which have been mentioned; but it appeared to me necessary to give the above facts, as i could not mention every single donation, in order to prove the easy way in which prayer and faith may procure means, if we walk uprightly, and if the work in which we are engaged is really the work of god. were the obtaining of money my aim, by thus writing, it would be bad policy indeed, to bring out all these instances of rich and most abundant supplies for the work; for persons might be led to think that i need no money, or that, if i did, i should have only to pray and it would soon come in, through some one or other, without their helping me; but since my chief aim in the whole work, and in the writing of these accounts in particular, is, that the blessedness of the life of faith may be seen, and that the hearts of the children of god may be allured more and more to their heavenly father, and be led more and more to cast their every care upon him, and to trust in him at all times, yea, in the darkest moments, therefore i take pleasure in speaking about this rich abundance which god gave me for his own work. some readers may say, and what use was made of the money which was received in this way? such a one is referred, for a full answer, to the next chapter but one, which speaks of the operations of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad; yet i would give to him here a few outlines of the operations of the institution. by the funds, which were intrusted to me during this period, several hundred poor children and adults were provided with schooling; many hundreds of copies of the holy scriptures were circulated; about three hundred thousand gospel tracts were distributed; forty-five preachers of the gospel in the east indies, british guiana, canada, the united states, france, switzerland, germany, ireland, scotland and england were, to a greater or less degree, assisted with pecuniary help; and, lastly, three hundred orphans were provided with everything they needed for this life, besides being under continual scriptural instruction. thus, at least, fifteen thousand souls were during this period under habitual scriptural instruction in connection with this institution, either in the sunday schools, adult schools, day schools, and the orphan house, or through the preachers of the gospel referred to. supplies for the support of the orphans, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . when this period commenced, i had more in hand for the orphans than for many years before, under similar circumstances, the balance for current expenses on may , , being l. s. d. yet, much as this was, in comparison with what the balance had generally been before, how small was the amount in reality! about persons were connected with the new orphan house, who day by day were to be provided with all they needed, besides several apprentices who also were still to be supported. on this account, the one hundred and fifty pounds in hand would only furnish that which was needed for about fifteen days, as the average expenses of the orphan work alone were about ten pounds daily. place yourself, therefore, dear reader, in my position. three hundred persons daily at table, and l. in hand! looking at it naturally, it is enough to make one tremble; but, trusting in the living god, as by his grace i was enabled to do, i had not the least trial of mind, and was assured that god would as certainly help me as he had done fourteen years before, when the number of the orphans was only the tenth part as large. the following record will now show that i was not mistaken; and thus another precious proof is furnished to the believing reader of the truth of that word: "whosoever believeth on him shall not be confounded." on the very first day of this new period i received from a sister in the lord l. another sister gave me l., the price of a piece of work done by her. thus, as the lord commenced this period, so he was pleased generally day by day to send me something, either in small or large donations. i can, however, only refer to a few instances, to save space. between may and june , , god was pleased to send in l. s. d., so that i had more than enough with the balance left in hand, to meet all the expenses. july . paid an account to a christian brother, and received l. back from him for the orphans. more than l. came in besides. july . received l., of which i took l. for the orphans, the rest for the other objects. l. s. d. came in besides. on aug. th i had purposed to leave bristol for a time, having been for two years and four months uninterruptedly there, in the midst of more work than i had ever had before. i went, not because i was quite unfit for work, but in order that, labouring for a little while in a different air, i might, with the blessing of god, keep off illness. on the th, when going to take lodgings in the country, a christian, residing at a distance, whom i met, by god's ordering, no doubt, gave me at the railway station, just before starting, l., of which i took half for the orphans and half for missionary purposes. on the th i received l., of which l. was intended for missions, and l. for the orphans; and also on the same day l. both donations were from considerable distances. besides this i received several small donations, so that within three days, from the th to the th, came in about l. while absent from the work, from aug. th to sept. th, i was able to help by my prayers. this was the heaviest month in the way of current expenses. during no month, all the sixteen years and five months previously, had there been so much expended for current expenses, as in august, ; but, by what was in hand on august , by what came in, as just related, and by all the many smaller donations, we were most comfortably helped through. while absent i was also enabled to wait upon god for means for the work, besides seeking his blessing in other respects. that this was not in vain, was most evident; for not only did many donations come in while i was away, but, on my return, god so abundantly poured in the means, that, within thirteen days after, i received altogether about one thousand pounds; for on the very morning after my return, sept. th, came in l., on sept th l., on sept. th l. s. d., on sept. th l., on sept. th l., besides many donations of smaller amounts. truly i do not wait on the lord in vain! one thing more i must add here. for several years i had not been so poor, with regard to means for myself, as when going away for change of air. but seeing it to be the will of god that i should go, i was sure that he would help me. thus it was. on aug. th my dear wife received from a sister in the lord l. for change of air; and from a christian lady near bridgewater was sent to me for my own personal expenses l., from cork l., and from a brother in bristol l. on aug. th was sent for myself from a considerable distance l. s. d. on aug. st from glasgow l. on aug. th from sunderland s., from cork l., and from liverpool l. thus the lord sent me for my own personal expenses such an abundance, that from aug. th to sept. th, , i received altogether l. s. d. truly i serve a good master, and this i delight to show. not only with regard to the obtaining of means for the work, in which i am engaged, have i found simple trust in the lord alone the easiest, the happiest, and the best way; but also in the obtaining of supplies for my own personal necessities. nov. . for seven weeks the income has been very small, in comparison with what has been expended, both for the orphans and for the various other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. there has come in for the orphans l. s. ¾ d., and for the other objects l. s. d.; and the expenditure has been for the orphans during these seven weeks l. s. d., and for the various other objects l. s. d. therefore altogether l. s. d. has been expended, whilst the income altogether has been only l. s. ¾ d. of course, we have not gone into debt, as we never order anything, except we have the means in hand for it. nor has there been even the least difficulty experienced with regard to means, as the lord in his kindness had sent in considerable sums just before this season commenced. about persons now sit down to their meals in the new orphan house, day by day, and the expenses for the orphans alone are about ten pounds daily, and those for the other parts of the work are also about ten pounds daily, so that i need to receive after the rate of l. a day, in order to go on with the work; but during these forty-nine days there has been only one single day that i have received about l., and for the greater part of the time only a few pounds daily, and sometimes even only a few shillings. but what was to be done under these circumstances? i gave myself to prayer. god, whom i have now been enabled to make my refuge, and my only refuge for more than twenty years, i have besought day by day. and when now day by day i still have received only small sums, and sometimes nothing or scarcely anything at all: the only effect that it has had upon me has been, to pray the more earnestly. my confidence in god is not at all shaken. i have never had a thought that he would not help me; nor have i even once been allowed to look upon these seven weeks in any other way than that the lord, for the trial of my faith, has ordered it thus that only so little should come in. i am sure that, when he has tried me sufficiently, there will come in again larger sums. in the mean time, how good has the lord been, not only to have given all i have needed, but i have even now money in hand! and as to our stores in the new orphan-house, they are as full as usual. we have at least sacks of potatoes in the house, sacks of flour, barrels of oatmeal, each containing about lbs., about pairs of new shoes (besides about pairs in use), about ten tons of coal, a large quantity of soap and rice; and so all other parts of the stores in proportion. indeed while there has been little coming in, i have just ordered articles in the wholesale way as formerly, when our income was perhaps four or five times as much during the same period. my judgment is, that it will now soon please the lord again to send in larger sums, as he has been pleased to exercise my faith for some time in this way. let me see the result! nov. . this morning the lord has given me a fresh proof, that i had not waited on him in vain, and that my confidence in him, as recorded last evening, has not been confounded. i received early this morning a donation of l., of which i took one half for the orphans and the other half for the other objects. nov. . evening. i am brought to the close of another month. great have been the expenses, as i have paid out above l. for the orphans, and above l. for the other objects; but i have always had the means to meet every payment. jan. , . besides a donation of l. from newton ferrers, l. s. from keswick, l. s. d. from the neighbourhood of bath, i received also this morning anonymously from torquay s. worth of postages, with these words: "open thy mouth wide, and i will fill it." i am doing this. i expect much, very much indeed, in every way. i also expect much in the way of means. evening. this very day the lord has given me a most precious proof, that he delights in our having large expectations from him. "my mouth has been filled," according to the portion of holy scripture sent to me this morning. i have received this evening the sum of three thousand pounds, being the largest donation which i have had as yet. i have had very many donations of l. and of l., several of l., one of l., several of l., some from l. to l., four of l l., two of l. and one of l. but i never had more than this given to me at one time; yet i have expected more than l. in one donation, and, accordingly, it has pleased the lord to give me l. this evening. i now write again that i expect far larger sums still, in order that it may be yet more and more manifest, that there is no happier, no easier, and no better way of obtaining pecuniary means for the work of the lord, than the one in which i have been led. how great my joy in god is, on account of this donation, cannot be described; but it is not in the least coupled with excitement. i take this donation out of the hands of the living god; i continually look for his help, and am perfectly assured that i shall have it, and therefore is my soul calm and peaceful, without any excitement, though the donation is so large. this donation is, however, like a voice from heaven, speaking to me concerning a most deeply important matter respecting which i am seeking guidance from the lord, the building of another orphan-house. for several years, while the orphans were living in rented houses in wilson street, bristol, it pleased the lord to manifest his power by helping us from day to day, and sometimes even from meal to meal; but of late years he has more especially been pleased to show his power by sending us abundant supplies. should it please him, however, hereafter to cause us again to be similarly situated, he will surely help; and, by his grace, we will then trust in him as heretofore. moreover, though we have not been so low with regard to means, yet my faith has not been without trial even in this particular; but especially in other respects it has pleased god continually to keep my faith in exercise. this sum of l. was entirely left at my disposal, and it was therefore portioned out thus: l. for the orphans, l. for foreign labourers in the gospel, l. for home labourers in the gospel, l. for the circulation of gospel tracts, l. for the circulation of the holy scriptures, and l. for the support of day schools, adult schools, and sunday schools. as an instance to show in what a variety of ways the lord is pleased to help me with means, i insert here the following kind but anonymous letter, which was left at my house on january th, . "dear mr. müller, " i left at mr. w�'s last week a donation of l. s. towards the orphan-houses, which i hope you received safely. it is indeed encouraging and strengthening to read the account of the many indubitable answers you have had to prayer, and i pray god, dear sir, to strengthen your hands, and prolong your life, if it be his will, that both the servants of christ and of satan, the former to their comfort, the latter to their confusion if not to their conversion, may see that god alone reigns, and that the hearts of all are in his hand. i now inclose you some coins (there are ), which may be disposed of for the orphan-houses. truly we wish you good luck in the name of the lord. "believe me, dear sir, "to remain your unknown but true friend, "a minister of the church of england." "n.b. i earnestly solicit an interest in your prayers." the letter contained a two-guinea piece, a small portuguese gold coin, silver coins, and a copper coin. march. . very great have been the expenses for the orphans of late. during the short month of february alone i spent l. for them. for nearly eight weeks, since jan. th, the expenses have been nearly four times as great as the income, which, however, i have been able amply to meet, on account of the previous abundance which the lord had been pleased to send in. now, however, after much prayer for means, the lord has been pleased to refresh my heart by a donation of l., referred to under this date in the account of the income for the other objects. i took of this sum l. for the orphans. i received also this day l. s., being the bequest of a swiss brother in the lord, who fell asleep in devonshire, and who desired that what he left should be sold for the benefit of the orphans. april . at the morning exposition of the holy scriptures at the new orphan-house, i was led particularly to dwell upon the blessedness of the believer having to do with the living god, and referred, in the way of illustration, to his care in supporting the orphan work. immediately after the exposition was over, i received a donation of l. s. for the orphans, another of l. (which i took half for the orphans and half for the other objects), and in the afternoon came in still further through the boxes in the new orphan-house l. s. ½ d. concerning the donation of l. s. the hand of the lord is the more manifest, in that it came from a place whence. i had never received any donation, as far as i know, and towards it a vicar, an archdeacon, and one of the queen's chaplains contributed, gentlemen entirely unknown to me, and yet they felt thus kindly disposed towards this work. may . i am brought to the close of this period. the work is more and more enlarging. during the last month i have paid out for the orphans more than l., and for the other objects more than l., being nearly one thousand pounds during one month; and yet i have a greater balance left in hand, through the lord's kindness, than at the close of any of the previous periods. of the several hundreds of donations, large and small, received during this period, i have thus taken a few, to show in what way it pleased the lord to supply me with means for the orphan work. miscellaneous points respecting the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, with reference to the period from may , to may , . . there were during this period four day schools in bristol, with children in them, entirely supported by the funds of the institution, and three others in devonshire, gloucestershire, and norfolk, with children in them, were assisted.--further, one sunday school in bristol, with children, was entirely supported, and two others, in devonshire and gloucestershire, with children, were assisted.-- lastly, an adult school in bristol, with persons in it, was entirely supported.--the expenses connected with all these various schools were, during this period, l. s.--from the formation of the institution, on march , , up to may , , there were , children in the various day schools in bristol alone, , in the sunday school, and , persons in the adult schools, besides the thousands in the schools out of bristol, which were assisted. . during this period i sought again especially to supply very poor persons, whose character was known by their being visited, with copies of the holy scriptures; and also to put copies which are printed with large type in to the hands of aged persons, which seems to me of especial need, as such bibles are still expensive, considering the means of the poor. there was expended during this period, out of the funds of the institution, on the circulation of the holy scriptures, l. s. d. there were bibles sold and given away; and new testaments sold, and given away, during this period. from march , , to may , , there were circulated , bibles and , new testaments. . during this year was spent of the funds of the institution for missionary objects the sum of l. s. d. by this sum, forty-five labourers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, were to a greater or less degree assisted. the amount sent to each of these servants of christ was as follows. to no. . labouring in british guiana l. s. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. s. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . labouring in the east indies l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. ditto l. to no. labouring in canada l. to no. ditto l. to no. labouring in the united states l. to no. labouring in france l. to no. . labouring in switzerland l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . labouring in germany l. to no. . labouring in ireland l. to no. . labouring in scotland l. to no. . labouring in england l. to no. . labouring in england l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. there was also sent to me anonymously for the support of native preachers of the gospel in china s. ld., which was forwarded . . . . . . . s. d. the total amount of l. was sent to these forty-five servants of the lord jesus in different sums, generally not less than l. and not more than l. at one time to each, except there were especial reasons pointing to a different course. almost all these brethren were habitually assisted; a few needed only occasional assistance. i have great joy, in being able to inform the believing reader, that it pleased the lord again to let great blessing rest upon the labours of these preachers of the gospel, whom i sought to assist during this year; which is alike true both with reference to those who labour in our own country and those who preach the word in foreign lands. i consider it a great privilege to be permitted to defray in part or altogether, from the funds of this institution, the expenses connected with the voyage and outfit of brethren who desire to go out as missionaries, or to help them after their arrival in their field of labour; but i do not bind myself to support them habitually, seeing that thus they would be out of the position of simple dependence upon god for their temporal supplies. . during this period l. s. d. was expended on the circulation of tracts, and , tracts and little books were circulated. the lord was pleased to give me such an abundance of opportunities for circulating tracts by means of godly men, both in this and foreign countries, that, during this year, i was permitted to send out more tracts than during the whole of the previous ten years taken together. nor must it be withheld from the reader, as matter for thankfulness, that the lord was pleased to allow me to hear again and again of instances of conversion, by means of the distribution of these tracts during this period. . on may , , there were two hundred and seventy-five orphans in the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol. there were admitted into it, during this year, orphans, making in all. of these, however, two were removed by their relatives, who were able by that time to provide for them, seven died during the year, five of the elder girls were sent out to service, and six of the elder boys were apprenticed; so that on may , , there were orphans in the new orphan house. the total number of orphans who were under our care from april, , to may , , is four hundred and eighty-eight. there came in altogether during this year l. s. ¼ d. for the support of the orphans, and , l. s. ¾ d. for the other objects; and, after having met to the full every demand with reference to the orphans, the balance of l. s. ¾ d. remained in hand. also, after having entered into every door, which the lord was pleased to set before me respecting the other objects, and to do far more than during any one year previously, the balance of l. s. d. remained in hand on may , . verily we do not trust in the lord in vain! without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me, the sum of , l. s. ½ d. was given to me for the orphans as the result of prayer to god from the commencement of the work to may , .--it may be also interesting to the reader to know, that the total amount which was given as free contributions, for the other objects, from the commencement of the work to may , , amounted to , l. s. ¼ d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day-schools, amounted to , l. s. ¾ d.--besides this, also a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, &e., were given for the use of the orphans. it pleased the lord greatly to gladden our hearts by the working of his holy spirit among the orphans during this period. matters connected with my own personal affairs, or the work of the lord in my hands, not immediately connected with the scriptural knowledge institution, from may , , to may , . dec. , . during this year there have been received into fellowship , and altogether, from the time that brother craik and i began to labour in bristol, , which, with the believers whom we found in fellowship, make . of these have fallen asleep, have left us during these years and a half, have removed from bristol, and have been excluded from fellowship; so that there are at present only in communion. during this year the lord has been pleased to give me�- . by anonymous offerings through the chapel boxes ... ... ... £ . by presents in money from believers in bristol, not given anonymously . by presents in money from believers not residing in bristol ... ... . by presents in provisions, clothes, &c., worth to us at least ... ... £ further account of the intended orphan house for seven hundred poor children, bereaved of both parents by death, from may , , to may , . the reader will remember it was stated in the previous chapter on this subject, that i purposed, not in dependence upon my christian friends, nor upon former donors, but alone in dependence upon the living god, who, i trust, has called me for it, notwithstanding all my unworthiness, to enlarge the orphan work. the godly reader will now be desirous to learn how far i have been helped, in this my intention, to enlarge the field of labour in caring for the vast numbers of helpless orphans in our land. i will, therefore, give an extract, in the way of specimens, from the account book, kept for the purpose, together with the remarks and observations which i wrote down at the time of the receipt of the donations, and make also here and there additional remarks, as the occasion may call for. before i brought before the public my purpose, i gave the record of the exercises of my mind, on this subject, to a valued christian friend to read, the only one who, besides my family, knew anything of my intention, before it came before the public. i did this particularly in order that, after waiting for several months in secret upon god for guidance and direction concerning it, i might also have the counsel of a prayerful, judicious, and cautious man of god. when this brother returned the manuscript, he spoke to me words of encouragement concerning this purpose, and gave me a half-sovereign towards the building fund for this house for destitute orphans. this was the first donation, which i received on may , , and which, i confess, was a great refreshment and encouragement to me, the more so as it came from so cautious a brother, and after i had been for several months, through secret prayer, assured that i should go forward. on may th, , my intention became publicly known, and in the evening of may th i received from a christian lady a sovereign towards the building fund. may . one of the orphans in the new orphan house gave d. for the building fund, and one engaged in the work gave an old silver watch for sale and s. june. . a brother in the lord, who gives his donations with the letter "p.," gave me s.--i also received a sovereign.--this evening i received still further half-crowns, with very encouraging words and expressions of joy, that i have been led to this purpose of building another orphan house for more orphans.--there came to hand also anonymously s. ditto an old shilling, a small american coin, and two shillings. also from a christian servant in clifton s. d. june. . from one of the orphans in the new orphan house d., and from another d. june . from another orphan in the new orphan house, d. i received also s. ½ d., which the orphans in the girls' school of the new orphan house gave between them for the building fund. june . through one of the boxes at the new orphan house twopence and likewise one half-penny. these two small donations are very sweet to me. i take them as a further earnest, out of the hands of my heavenly father, that he, in his own time, will give me the whole sum requisite. evening: from a sister from norwich s. d. from a sister in the lord in bristol s. june. . anonymously l. s. d., with these words: "towards the building fund of the proposed orphan house l., for brother müller l. s., for brother craik l. s." june . anonymously s. d. june. . from a brother s.--from one of the orphans formerly under our care, a believer, a sovereign, of which she intends s. for the building fund, s. for present use for the orphans, s. for brother craik, and s. for my own personal expenses. how sweet a donation! anonymously s. from "p." s. d. june . anonymously, from sunderland l--a lady gave to my daughter at my house l., but would not give her name. june. . from richmond l. i have thus given minutely an account of the income during the first two weeks, after my purpose had become known; but shall now only, for the sake of brevity, refer to some of the donations. june. . twenty-four days have now passed away since i have been enabled, day by day, to wait with a goodly measure of earnestness and in faith upon the lord for means; but as yet only a little above l. has come in. but i am not discouraged. the less there comes in, the more earnestly i pray, the more i look out for answers, and the more assured i am that the lord, in his own time, after he has tried my faith, will send me larger sums, and, at last, all i need. july . from a christian gentleman in clifton l. this donation has much refreshed my spirit. i am, day by day, expecting help from the lord, in large and small sums as he pleases; but as he is trying my faith, in that only so little as yet has come in, this donation has been very precious. aug. . from a christian lady in london l.--from somersetshire l. aug. , day by day i am waiting upon the lord for means for this object, and generally more than once a day am bowing my knees before god with reference to it. moreover, of late i have been enabled, with increasing earnestness, to beseech the lord, that he would be pleased to send in means for the building fund. my soul has been all along at peace, though only so little as yet, comparatively, has come in (in all l. s. d.) and though satan has, in the most subtle way, sought to shake my confidence, and to lead me to question, whether, after all, i had not been mistaken concerning this whole matter. yet, though he has aimed after this, to the praise of god i have to confess, that he has not been allowed to triumph. i have especially besought the lord of late, that he would be pleased to refresh my spirit by sending in some large donation for this part of the work. under these circumstances, i received this morning the following letter with l.: "* * * * august . "my dear brother, "trusting that god has indeed called you to this work, viz., caring for poor orphans, and will not allow you to be deceived as to his will regarding the increasing it, but will greatly use you for his own glory and for blessing to many poor destitute children, it is my desire, and i humbly thank our most gracious god and father for the ability, to have fellowship with you in this work, as far as he permits. will you, therefore, use the enclosed check for l. for the orphans, towards the present establishment or the proposed new one, as you may judge best, or taking any part thereof for one or the other. the lord jesus be your counselor, your joy, your strength, your all. "affectionately yours, "* * * *" i took the whole amount for the building fund. i was not in the least excited. i look out for means. even at that very moment, when i received this donation, i was looking out for means, for large donations; and i should not have been surprised if , l. had come in, or more. the lord be praised for this precious encouragement, which has still further quickened me for prayer! aug. . from the neighbourhood of leeds l.--from essex l. aug. . anonymously from hull s.--from cornwall a copy of "greece" for sale. aug. . from shirehampton l. aug. . from mirfield l. also l. came in today which, being left at my disposal by the donor, as most needed, i took the whole of this amount for the building fund, having sufficient means in hand for the current expenses of the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. aug. . from m. s. l., of which the donor desires l. to be used for missionary objects, and l. for the building fund. the donor writes: "my present inducement to remit this is, that god has lately prospered me in business, and i had been putting by for this and a few other similar purposes, intending to make bequests in my will, but am convinced that this is the best course to pursue, if not the only justifiable one, with what i can spare from my business and other necessities." sept. . from a much afflicted sister seven dolls' bonnets for sale. � a picture in frame. sept. . from an individual living in nicholas street, bristol, l.-- from a brother in the lord, in wandsworth road, london, s., with l. for present use for the orphans, and s. for missionary purposes.-- from a poor christian widow in london s., with s. for present use for the orphans.--i am day by day labouring in prayer for this object, and with a goodly measure of fervency of spirit, by the grace of god; and am day by day looking out for answers. these sums last recorded are but small, yet they tell me that my heavenly father is not unmindful of my supplications, and of those of his dear children who help me with their prayers, and that, in his own time, he will send me more, and also large sums. i magnify his holy name that he does not in the least allow me to question either his power or his willingness to give me all that i shall need; yea, my soul is as assured that i shall have this my request fully granted, unworthy though i am of it, as if the whole amount were already in my hand. sept. . from a christian at keswick s., and a lady through ditto s. sept. . from the neighbourhood of keswick l.--from hull l.-- from shrewsbury l. sept. . as yet the lord delays sending in larger sums; but i am looking out for them, and am confidently expecting them. this delay is only for the trial of my faith; after he has tried it, he will help me. applications for the admission of orphans continue to be made. within the last ten days eighteen poor children, bereaved of both parents, have been applied for; and since aug. th, therefore in twenty-six days, thirty-two altogether. my heart longs to be allowed of god to help poor orphans more extensively than ever. whence the means are to come for the building of this house for orphans, i know not; but still, by god's help, my confidence in him is not shaken. to him it is a very small matter to give me all i need for this work. sept. . from ludgvan s. evening. only these ten shillings have come in today, but three more orphans have been applied for, making thirty-five in less than a month. does not the lord tell me by this, that he will provide another home for orphans? i will therefore patiently wait upon him for the means, and after he has tried my faith and patience, he will show himself as the bearer and answerer of prayer. today came in the course of my reading john xiv. , , "and whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will i do, that the father may be glorified in the son. if ye shall ask anything in my name i will do it." i pleaded this word of promise, and look for answers, even for the fulfilment of this promise. nor do i doubt that the lord jesus will fulfil this his promise in this my case. sept. . from guildford l. s.--from bath l. sept. . patience and faith are still called for, and, by god's grace, my desire is to "let patience have her perfect work," not one penny has come in today for the building fund, but five more orphans have been applied for, so that now forty in less than one single month have been brought before me, all bereaved of both parents, and all very destitute. under these circumstances, how can i but fervently labour in prayer that the lord would be pleased to intrust me with means for building another orphan-house for orphans. the more i look at things according to natural appearances and prospects, the less likely is it that i should have the sum which is needed; but i have faith in god, and my expectation is from him alone. from the beginning i depended upon him only, concerning this proposed enlargement of the work, and therefore have not been disappointed, though as yet only the fortieth part of what is needed has come in ( l. s. ½ d). but how soon, how very soon can the lord alter the aspect of things. even this very evening, while i am writing, he can give me many thousand pounds. i continue therefore, to wait upon god, and seek to encourage my heart by his holy word, and while he delays giving me answers, to be occupied in his blessed service. of this, however, my soul has not the least doubt, that, when the lord shall have been pleased to exercise my soul by the trial of faith and patience, he will make bare his arm, and send help. the fact that the applications for the admission of destitute orphans are so many, does both quicken me to prayer, and is also a great encouragement to me, that the lord will give me the desire of my heart, to provide another home for these destitute, fatherless and motherless children. sept. . received today a donation of l., which the donor kindly allowed me to use for the work of the lord in my hands as i pleased. i therefore took the whole of this donation for the building fund, having at present sufficient means in hand for the current expenses of all, the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, and feeling called to give myself with my might to prepare for the building of another orphan-house. sept. . about two months since i received a letter, of which i give as much as refers to the subject in hand. "my dear sir, "i was once a book collector, and turned my attention to our old english bibles, and, among other editions, perfected, almost sheet by sheet, our first english coverdale bible of . it is a sad specimen of time, attention, and money mis-spent and mis-applied, and as i look upon you as the receiver of cast off idols, whether watch chains, trinkets, or old bibles, i have purposed for some time sending it to you. * * * * do with the proceeds as you see fit. i should be glad if a portion were converted into large printed testaments for the aged, and should be thankful if that, which has been cause of humbling to me, should be converted into the means, through your instrumentality, of raising others. * * * * * "ever yours, * * * *." a day or two after the receipt of this letter, a parcel arrived, containing the said coverdale bible, of a.d. and another book; the latter to be sold for the benefit of the orphans. it was only today that i had an opportunity of disposing of the old bible, which fetched l., together with other books, which had been given for the benefit of the orphans, which brought l. of the l. i took l. for new testaments printed with large type for aged poor persons, and l. for the building fund. oct. . evening. nothing has come in today for the building fund, and very little during the last ten days. i have had just now again a long season for prayer respecting this object. through the support which i receive from the lord, i am not cast down, though only so little as yet has come in. the work is his, and not mine; therefore am i able quietly to leave it in his hands. were i to look at what has come in hitherto, much though it is, in one sense, it would take, after this rate, about ten years, before i should have the sum needed; but this does not cast me down; for, when the lord's time is come i expect larger sums. further, there are peculiar natural obstacles in the way to my receiving donations for this object; for it has now been for several months reported that i have already thirty thousand pounds in hand for the building fund, though this day it is actually only , l. s. ½ d. again and again this has been told me, and therefore, were i to look at things naturally, i should have much reason to be cast down, as the spread of such reports is calculated, humanly speaking, to keep persons from contributing towards this object. another class of persons, true christians, and liberal persons too, may be thinking, that the sum required is so large that it is not likely i shall obtain it, and that therefore their contributing towards this object would be useless. but none of these things discourage me. god knows that i have not thirty thousand pounds in hand. god can influence the minds of his dear children towards this intended orphan-house, whatever their thoughts may have been hitherto on the subject. i therefore seek to "let patience have her perfect work," and go on in prayer, being fully assured, that the lord will not suffer me to be confounded. i am day by day looking out for help, yea for large sums; and i know i shall have them, after the lord has exercised my faith and patience. lord wilt thou mercifully continue to give unto thy servant faith and patience! oct. . from the forest of dean l. oct. . from old aberdeen l.--from dublin the work for an ottoman and a piece of crochet work. oct. . through bethesda boxes s.--from clifton s.--from h. s. d. oct. . from wellington in salop s. evening. the trial of my faith and patience continues still. again very little has come in during the last four days for the building fund. but my hope in god, by his help, continues steadfast. i had just now again a long season for prayer, having spent the whole evening alone for the purpose, and am assured that, when god's time shall have come, it will be seen that, even concerning this object, i do not wait upon him in vain. there are persons again and again asking me, when i am going to commence the building; for, they think that i have all, or nearly all, the means which are required. and there are others who ask me whether i still purpose to build this orphan-house. to thee, my heavenly father, thy child turns under these circumstances. thou knowest how small an amount as yet thy servant has, in comparison with what is needed; but thou also knowest that thy servant did not act rashly and under excitement in this matter, but waited upon thee for six months in secret, before he spoke about this his intention. now, lord, in thy mercy, sustain thy servant's faith and patience, and, if it please thee, speedily refresh his heart by sending in larger sums, for which he is looking, and which he confidently expects! oct. . through the boxes at the new orphan-house s. d., with psalm xxvii. . the words of the passage are these: "wait on the lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, i say, on the lord." by god's grace i wait on the lord, and am of good courage, and he does strengthen my heart, in faith and patience to continue to wait on him, though only so little comes in, being assured that, when the trial of faith and patience is over, he will make bare his arm, and send in larger sums. oct. . nothing at all has come in today for the building fund, and about l. only during the last four weeks. yet, by the grace of god, i am supported, and have not the least questioning of soul whether i shall have the means or not. i only look upon this delay, on the part of god, in sending me larger sums, as an exercise of my patience and faith, and am sure, that in his own time he will give more largely. today i have had again three long seasons for prayer respecting the work in my hands; and the greater part of this evening have been in prayer, entreating and beseeching the lord to help me; and i am now again looking out for means, as i do day by day. oct. . this morning i received a letter, containing a check for l., and these words: "* * * * oct. , . "my dear sir, i had much pleasure and blessing in perusing the report you were kind enough to send me some time ago, and am much obliged to you for it. is it not a privilege to be allowed to obtain future good out of present expending? (luke xvi. )' that when ye fail, etc.' i enclose a check for l., of which i should wish l. to be used for the new orphan-house, that which you propose to build. yours, dear sir, ever faithfully, * * * * *" the other l. being left to me, to be disposed of as i thought well, i divided equally between the five objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. by the same post i received also a donation of s., with the following letter. * * * *, oct. , . "dear mr. müller, i enclose you s. worth of postages, as a token of gratitude to the lord. i had l. due to me, and the party told me he would not pay it, except i summoned him. i consulted the scripture, and found, as a christian, i must not do that; so i put the case into the hand of the �wonderful counsellor,' and told the lord, if he would be pleased to give me the l., i would give him back half of it. not long after i had a message from the party, to say if i would fetch it, i should have the l.; so i went, and he paid me without an unpleasant word. i have sent you one half of the pound (the other half i have designed for another purpose). if you need it, you will please to take it for your own personal use; if it is not needed any other way, i should like the privilege of having a stone in the intended orphan-house, &c." i took this s. for the building fund. the donor is a poor working man. � this afternoon i received l. more from the neighbourhood of london, with these words: "for the missionaries, and where else most needed." i took, therefore, l. of it for missions, and the other l. for the building fund. thus the lord has been pleased this day to refresh my heart greatly in sending these donations, and has given again a manifest proof that yesterday i did not wait upon him in vain. but i look out for more abundant help, and for larger sums. i cannot help noticing here, that this afternoon the lord also refreshed my spirit through a donation of pairs of new shoes, which a young man (whom about twelve years ago i received as a very destitute orphan, and who about five years ago was apprenticed to a shoemaker, and who has lately finished his apprenticeship), brought me for the orphans, as a small token of his gratitude, as he said. he had himself made the shoes, having bought the leather with the little sums which he had earned in working overtime for his master. such instances occur often. i see now, again and again, fruit resulting from my labours in this service. it is not at all a rare thing that i meet with respectable young women, or respectable young men, who, many years ago, were placed, as very destitute orphans, under my care, and who are now a comfort and help to society, instead of being a pest, which otherwise they might have been. but valuable and pleasant as this is, i frequently meet with far more in them: i find them to be children of the living god, through faith in our lord jesus christ, and see or hear that they walk according to their profession. thus, in the midst of many difficulties, and with much that, for the present moment, is discouraging, i see abundant fruit. yet, if even only one soul were won from among these orphans, how abundantly would all labours, trials, difficulties, and expenditure of money be made up; but, if i know of scores of them already in heaven, and scores of them now on the road to heaven, how can i but go on labouring, esteeming it a privilege to be allowed of god to seek to win more and more of them for him? considerations like these are a mighty impulse to me to go forward with regard to the intended orphan house. nov. . today i received l., of which the donor kindly wished me to keep l. for my own personal expenses, and to apply the rest as most needed for the lord's work in my hands. i took, therefore, l. for the building fund, and l. for missionary objects, the circulation of the holy scriptures and gospel tracts, and for the support of all the various schools which are supported by the funds of the scriptural knowledge. institution. by this donation my heart has been greatly refreshed for the following reasons:--lst. during the last twelve days very little, comparatively, has come in. nd. the first four objects of the institution, for which i took the l., were lower as to funds than they have been during the last ten months, as only l. remained in hand. rd. i had been praying for supplies for my own personal expenses, in order that i might be able to help in certain cases of need, which were near my heart. this day week, nov. rd, i began particularly to pray about this object. on nov. th there was l. put anonymously into the letter box at my house, for my own personal expenses. the note was signed "h." on the same evening i received l. more. on nov. th i received l. from keswick. on nov. th l. s. d., and today l. though this is a digression from the immediate subject before me, yet, as i write chiefly for the comfort and encouragement of the children of god, and that their dependence upon god and their trust in him may more and more be increased, and also that unbelievers may see the reality of the things of god, i take delight in mentioning these cases, to show that he does not merely supply me, in answer to prayer, with means for his work in which i am occupied, but that he also bountifully supplies my own personal necessities, simply in answer to prayer. nov. . early this morning came, in the course of my reading through the holy scriptures, heb. v. and vi., and my heart was greatly strengthened by heb. vi. ., "and so after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise." i have not once, even for one moment, been allowed to doubt, either the power or the willingness of the lord to supply me with all that shall be needed for this other orphan house, since i came at first to the conclusion that it was his will i should enlarge the work; yet i have often, very often, been led to ask, that he would graciously be pleased to sustain my faith and patience to the end; for great, very great, may yet be the exercises both of my faith and patience, before. i have the desire of my heart granted. nov. . the following case will especially show in what a variety of ways the lord is pleased to supply me with means. today i received from an individual, hitherto an entire stranger to me, the letter which follows:-- * * * *, london, nov , . "my dear brother, i asked the lord for help with regard to yourself and your work. the other night a stranger called at my house, and left a parcel, declining to give her name, saying, �take charge of this for mr. george müller.' the parcel contained l. s. d., two silver spoons, and two silver thimbles; s. were added to pay the expenses. may the lord prosper you, my brother. yours affectionately, * * * * *" as it was not stated for what object the donation was intended, i took the whole for the building fund. dec. . from a. z. at hull l. s., of which the donor kindly intends s. for my own personal expenses. through this donor also s. besides. both these donations are remarkable. the donor who sent the l. s., some years ago, when in very poor circumstances, set apart from his earnings ¾ d. a-day for the orphans. from that time god was pleased to prosper him; and now he is able to send this l. s. at once. the donor of the s. had about a year ago one of the reports of the scriptural knowledge institution lent to him, when he was living in much sin, by the brother who sent the l. s., and this report was the means of his conversion. dec. . this morning i received a donation of l., which, being left at my disposal, i took one half for the building fund, and the other half for the school, bible, tract and missionary objects. jan. , . from torquay s.--i received also this morning the following registered letter, enclosing l. "* * * * *jan. , . "dear brother, "having this morning received a large present, i hasten to send you l., either towards building the new orphan house, or for the missionary servants of the lord; as you may deem best. " yours very truly in christ, "* * * *" i am especially labouring in prayer, day by day, that the lord would be pleased to furnish me with the means for building another orphan house, as the number of applications for destitute children, bereaved of both parents, is increasing more and more: but i have also of late been particularly praying to the lord for means for missionary brethren, as almost all i have in hand for them is expended. on this account i purpose to take one half of this donation for the building fund, and the other half for missionary objects. march . day by day i am waiting upon god for means. with full confidence, both as to the power of the lord to give me the means, and likewise his willingness, i am enabled to continue to wait. but he is pleased to exercise my faith and patience, and especially has this been the case of late. not more than l. s. has come in, during the last four weeks, for the building fund. yet, amidst it all, by the help of god, my heart has been kept looking to the lord, and expecting help from him. now today my heart has been greatly refreshed by a donation of l. s. d., which, being left to my disposal for the work of god, i took of it for the building fund l., for current expenses for the orphans l., and the remainder for the school, bible, tract, and missionary objects. i cannot describe to any one how refreshing this donation is to my spirit. after having been for weeks, day by day, waiting upon the lord, and receiving so little, comparatively, either for current expenses or for the building fund, this answer to many prayers is exceedingly sweet to my spirit. march . from mallow in ireland s.--from torquay s.--from whitby l. s. d., of which l. is for the building fund, l. for present use for the orphans, and s. d. for ditto.--from kingstanley l.--from lichfield l. s., and s. march . from clifton l., with s. for present use for the orphans. � through salem boxes s. march . from driffield l.--received also further l., which, being entirely left at my disposal, i took l. for the building fund, l. for current expenses for the orphans, l. for the circulation of the holy scriptures, l. for the circulation of gospel tracts, l. for preachers of the gospel in foreign lands, and l. for preachers of the gospel in england, ireland, and scotland. may . from two christian ladies at clifton s. may . from bishopwearmouth l. may . l. s. ½ d., being the proceeds arising from the sale of a book in english, and l. s. from the sale of a book in french, were given for the building fund; and l. s. d., being the balance of a certain account, for present use for the orphans. to the donations received during this year, is to be added l. s. d. received for interest; for as a steward of the money, with which i was intrusted for the building fund, i felt it right to put out to interest that which came in. lastly, there remained in hand from the former building fund the balance of l. s. ¾ d., which i added to the present building fund, so that on the evening of may th, , i had altogether l. s. ¼ d. i add the following points, which were stated in the report of , and which are here reprinted for the better information of the readers. a. looking at the comparatively small amount yet in hand towards the accomplishment of my purpose, some of my readers may suppose that i am on that account discouraged. my reply is, that i am not at all discouraged, and that for the following reasons. . the many donations which the lord has been pleased to send me during the past year expressly for the building fund, have been a proof to me that he condescends to listen to my supplications respecting this part of the work, and to those of his dear children who help me with their prayers; for many, i believe, labour with me in prayer. . the delay of the lord in sending still larger sums, and more speedily, than he has been pleased to do hitherto, i only consider to be for the exercise of my faith and patience. were the lord displeased with my intention, he would not have dealt with me as he has, and would not have encouraged me to continue to wait upon him, by the many donations which were expressly given for this object, and some from most unexpected quarters. this exercise of my faith and patience, however, i believe to be intended not merely for my own individual profit; but through me, also for the benefit of others. by god's gracious help and support i will, therefore, continue to wait patiently, till he shall be pleased more abundantly to send in the means, which i do not in the least doubt life will do. . even when intending to build the new orphan-house on ashley down, bristol, (which was then an undertaking to me greater far than the second orphan house now contemplated), i had to wait two years and three months, before i had all the means needed; and great, and many, and varied indeed were the trials of my patience and faith, before that work was accomplished; yet, at last, the lord so abundantly helped me, and so altogether carried me through all the difficulties, that the house was built, fitted up, furnished, and inhabited, and several hundred pounds remained over and above what was required. and now three years have already elapsed since the house has been inhabited, and the three hundred orphans in it have no cause to speak of want, but only of abundance. but as the work increases more and more, am not surprised that my trials of faith and patience should become sharper and sharper, and should last longer and longer; but yet, by his help, will i hope in god, whom i shall have to praise further still, and who will help me further still, on the ground of the worthiness and merits of his holy child jesus, though i am most unworthy in myself to be helped. . one of the things, which especially encourages me to continue to wait upon god, and to labour on in prayer concerning this object, is the great number of applications which continue to be made for the admission of children who have been lawfully begotten, but who are by death bereaved of both parents, and who are in very destitute circumstances. there were such children waiting for admission a year ago; since then there have been more applied for, making in all . of these, as during the last year but few vacancies have occurred, i have only been able to receive twenty-seven, therefore remain unprovided for. this number would be far greater still, had not many persons been kept from applying to me; for they considered it useless, as the number of orphans, waiting for admission, was already so great. now when i consider all the help which the lord has been pleased to grant me in this his service for so many years, and how he has carried me through one difficulty after another, and when i see one case after another, of the most pitiable orphans (some less than one year old) brought before me; how can i but labour on in prayer on their behalf, fully believing that god, in his own time, will give me the means for this intended second home for more orphans, though i know not when the money will be sent, and whom he will honour to be the instruments, whether it will come from many or from few comparatively, and whether more especially from those donors whom god has used in former times, or whether he may be pleased to put it into the heart of those to assist me in this service, whose names i have never heard up to this time. b. up to the present i have taken no actual steps towards the erection of the second orphan-house, nor do i mean to do anything in the way of purchasing the land, &c., until i have a sum in hand which may point out that the lord's time is come for taking such steps. at present i do not allow my mind to be occupied with such points, but seek to go on step by step, and therefore, in the first place, to wait upon god for a greater amount of means than i have in hand at present; and when the lord shall have been pleased to grant me this, i doubt not that he will also guide and direct me as to carrying out the desire which, i trust, he has put into my heart, to be still more extensively used as the friend of the orphan. c. i state again that this second orphan-house is only intended, as the one already built, for children who have been lawfully begotten, who have lost both parents by death, and who are in destitute circumstances; this, however, being the case, children may be received from any place, and the more destitute, the fewer patrons and friends they have to plead their cause, the more likely they are to be received, as neither favour nor partiality is shown in the admission of the children, but their cases are considered in the order in which applications are made. i state again here especially, that no sectarian views prompt me, or even in the least influence me in the reception of children; i do not belong to any sect, and am, therefore, not influenced by sectarianism in the admission of orphans; but from wheresoever they come, and to whatsoever religions denomination the parents belonged, or with whatever body the persons making application may be connected; and whether those who apply never gave me one penny towards the work, or whether they gave much; it makes no difference in the admission of the children. now just as it has been thus with regard to the admission of orphans for more than sixteen years past, so, when god shall be pleased to allow me to accomplish my purpose concerning another orphan-house, it is still intended to be the same concerning that one also. the new orphan-house on ashley down, bristol, is not say orphan-house, not the orphan-house of any party or sect, but it is god's orphan-house, and the orphan-house for any and every poor destitute orphan who has lost both parents; provided, of course, there be room in the establishment, and that there be nothing so peculiar in the case of the children as to prevent their being received; and exactly thus it is intended to be, god helping, with regard to the orphan-house for orphans, now in contemplation. supplies for the school�, bible �, missionary and tract fund, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . at no time during the past eighteen years did i begin a new period with so much money in hand, as was the case at the commencement of this. there was a balance of l. s. d. left for these objects. long before this balance was expended, however, the lord was pleased to send in further supplies; so that, during all the year, there did not come before me one single instance in which, according to my judgment, it would have been desirable to help forward schools or missionary objects, or the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, but i had always the means in hand for doing so. i will now notice a few of the more remarkable donations on the third day already, after the accounts had been closed, may , , i received a donation of l., of which i took one-half for the current expenses for the orphans, and the other half for these objects. � this was the first donation in this new period, and was a precious encouragement to me in the work. july . from may th to this day have come in twenty-eight donations, varying from d. to l. today i received a donation of l. of which the donor kindly wished me to take l. for my own personal expenses, and to use the rest as the work of god might require it. as i still had an abundance in hand both for the orphans and for these objects, i took one-half for the current expenses for the orphans, and the other half for these objects. sept. . again fifty-two donations had come in between july th and this day, varying from d. to l., when today a brother who has often manifested his deep interest in the spread of the truth, and who is far from being rich, sent me l. for home and foreign labourers in the word. nov. . forty donations have come in for these objects from sept. th to this day, varying from ½ d. to l. today i received l., of which, as stated under the particulars given under this date with reference to the building fund, i took l. for these objects. this donation came in most seasonably; for now the funds for these objects were lower than they had been for the last ten months, as only l. remained in hand. dec. . the funds for these objects were now reduced to l. s. d., as the twenty-two donations from d. to l., which had come in since nov. th, did not altogether amount to more than l. s. d., and as much money had been expended. the means in hand were therefore far less than they had been at any time during the last sixteen months, when i received this morning from a. z., a new donor, by the clifton post, l., which, being left to my disposal, i took for these objects. dec. . only l. s. d. had come in since the st. after the payments of this day were met, there remained only s. d. in hand. consider this position, dear reader. only s. d. in hand, and the expenses for all the various schools were to be met, and the circulation of the holy scriptures and of tracts i desired to go on, and the fifty preachers of the gospel, whom i sought to help, my heart desired to help still further. consider also, that whatever my necessities may be, i never go into debt, nor do i apply to any one personally for any thing, but give myself unto prayer. now hear how this matter ended. dec. . when i came home last evening from the new orphan-house, i found a letter from gloucestershire, containing a sovereign and a half. the sovereign was half for these objects, and half for the orphans; and of the half sovereign, s. were intended for the orphans; and s. for these objects. thus i had s. more but this morning the lord has opened his hands still more bountifully. i have received a donation of l. � the disposal of the money was left to me. i took therefore one half for the school �, bible �, missionary and tract objects, and the other half for the building fund.--this donation has been a very great refreshment to my spirit. during the last six weeks very little has come in, and though we had lacked nothing (for only a few days since i paid for sixty thousand tracts at once), yet we were now poorer than we had been for two or three years, with regard to means for these objects. this, however, did not in the least cast me down; for i knew it was only for the trial of my faith and patience, and that, when the trial was over, the lord would again send in bountiful supplies. this he has now commenced to do, but i expect much more than this. indeed i am looking out daily for the lord's help. jan. , . the old year closed with manifestations of god's loving help, in the way of means, and the new begins in the same way. last evening i received s. d. for these objects, and this morning, when i paid an account, i had l. returned for the schools.--in the course of the day i received still further from sherborne l., of which the donor wished l. to be taken for the orphans, l. for missions, and l. for my own personal expenses. i received also anonymously from aberdeen s. for the orphans, with s. for missions. jan. . further: l. for the schools in bristol. jan. . all our money for missionary objects, for the circulation of bibles and tracts, and for the support of the various schools was now again spent, as only very little, comparatively had come in since dec. th. the last money which i had, i sent off by the mail steamer to demerara, which left two days since. under these circumstances, i received this evening l., which i might either use for the orphans, or for missionary objects, according to the donor's wish. i took it for missionary objects. but i am looking out for larger supplies, as i have many openings, profitably to lay out considerable sums for missionary objects, and for the circulation of bibles and tracts. it is remarkable, that, while i have received from the donor of this sum from time to time donations for the orphans, i had not received anything for missionary objects for a very long time. but i have again and again prayed for help for this part of the work, and this point makes the answer to prayer only the more manifest. jan. . after still further repeated waiting upon the lord for means, especially for missionary objects and for the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, i received today from somersetshire l., of which the donor intends l. for foreign missions and l. towards the support of the orphans. jan. . from london l. for missions. jan. . l., of which half is for missions, and half for the building fund. jan. . l. was left at my disposal. i took the whole for these objects. this donation came in most seasonably, enabling me to go on helping preachers of the gospel, and also to go on with the circulation of bibles and tracts. march . before all means were gone, when there was yet about l. in hand, there came in again today for these objects l. s. d. march . l. more came in today. march . from three brethren l. for missions.--on the same day from a missionary box at old aberdeen l. may . the donations which have come in for these objects, since march th, were small. today i received from cornwall l., of which the donor wished me to take l. for my own personal expenses; the rest being left at my disposal i took the whole for these objects. may . received l. for missions. may . when nearly all the means for these objects were exhausted, i received l., of which i took for these objects l., and l. for the current expenses for the orphans. thus i have given some instances to show how the lord was pleased to supply me during another year. supplies for the support of the orphans, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . when this period commenced, i had in hand for the current expenses for the orphans l. s. ¾ d. we had never had so large a balance for the other objects at the commencement of any new period, as was the case at the commencement of this, and so it was also with regard to the orphan work. this arose from the fact, that, only a little more than four months before the accounts were closed, a donation of l. had been given, which, being equally divided between the orphan fund and the fund for the other objects, had left so large a balance in hand. but though there was this large balance to begin with, dependence upon god was still required day by day, as the pecuniary help is only a very small part of that which is needed; and even as to means, this sum would not have lasted long, had the lord not sent in further supplies. this, however, he did; and thus it was, that, while there were other trials, varied and many, yet, as to means, we experienced for a long time scarcely any difficulty at all. i will now very briefly notice some cases in which god helped us with means for the support of the orphans, in answer to prayer. may , . the first donation of this new period came from an aged godly clergyman, whom, up to that time, i had never seen, but to whom my heart had been much knit through correspondence. the donation consisted of l. from himself, and s. d. from three poor persons through him. july . a brother and sister, having had a legacy left to them, though very far from being rich, sent l. out of it for the orphans, as they desire to use the money with which the lord may intrust them for him. oct. . from the ladies who constitute the bristol dorcas society, the value of l. in flannel and unbleached calico. feb. , . when the accounts were closed, there was in hand l. s. ¾ d., and there has come in since then l. s. d. up to this time, i had had an abundance of means, to meet all the current expenses of the new orphan-house, and there was still l. s. ½ d. in hand. but though i had this, the certain expenses of this week alone were. l. s. d., besides what might be otherwise needed. under these circumstances, a godly merchant at clifton gave me this evening, through his son, a fifty pound note for the benefit of the orphans. this donation has greatly refreshed my spirit; for though we were not in actual need, there being l. s. ½ d. in hand, to meet the expenses of l. s. d., which i expected to come upon me this week, yet there would then only have been left l. s. ½ d. towards meeting the current expenses of an establishment with more than inmates. there had not been so little in hand since the new orphan-house was first opened. how kind, therefore, of the lord, to put it into the heart of this donor, who is not personally known to me, to contribute this sum! march . from feb. th up to march th the income had been comparatively small, only about l. altogether having been received for the current expenses for the orphans. this, with what was in hand on feb. th, was, therefore, so reduced, that on march th i had only been able to advance l. for house-keeping expenses, instead of l., which i had for a long time been in the habit of doing. after having paid away this l., i had only about l. left. before this l., however, was quite spent, i had received so much, that on the th i could advance. l. more for house-keeping. now this money was all gone, and today, march th, more money was needed, but there was none in hand, except the balance which was last year left from the building fund, which i was most reluctant to use, and concerning which i asked the lord that there might be no need for using it, as i wished to take it for the intended orphan-house, the number of destitute orphans who are waiting for admission being so great. now observe how god helped me! just before i was called on for more money, i received this morning from a noble lady as her own gift and that of two of her friends l., and also s. ½ d. was given to me as the contents of an orphan-box. thus i was able to advance again l. for house-keeping. march . for about six weeks past the lord has been pleased to exercise my faith and patience much. very little, comparatively, has come in for the building fund and the current expenses for the various objects; but now he has this day greatly refreshed my spirit by the donation of l. s. d., referred to under the building fund, which, being left to me for the lord's work, to be used as i think best, i took of it for the current expenses for the orphans l.; so that again, before the money, which came in yesterday, is expended, fresh supplies are received. i have been particularly also refreshed by this donation, in that i am not obliged to use the balance of the former building fund, but can let that remain for the present building fund. may , . since march th no further difficulties have been experienced with regard to means; for though the expenses have amounted since then to about l., the lord has bountifully supplied me with all i needed; for i received another donation of l., one of l. s. d., one of l., two of l., eighteen of between l. and l., besides many between d. and l.--thus i am helped to the close of another year, during which the lord has enabled me, through waiting upon him, and looking to him for help, to supply all the current expenses of the new orphan-house with its orphans and all their overseers, teachers, nurses, etc.; the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts has been going on as before; the various schools have been supported; the same amount as during the past year, or rather more, has been expended for missionary objects; and yet, over and above all this, i have been enabled to gather a goodly sum for the building fund of the intended orphan-house. have i not therefore abundant reason to praise the lord for his goodness, to trust in him for the future, to speak well of his name to my fellow-believers, and to encourage them, more and more to rely upon the lord for everything? miscellaneous points respecting the scriptural know/edge institution for home and abroad, with reference to the period from may , , to may , . . during this period there were entirely supported by the funds of the institution four day schools in bristol, with poor children in them, and three others in devonshire, monmouthshire, and norfolk, were assisted.--further, one sunday school in bristol, with children, was entirely supported, and two others in devonshire and gloucestershire, with children, were assisted.--lastly, one adult school in bristol, with adult scholars, was entirely supported during this period.--from march , , up to may , , there were , children in the day schools in bristol, , in the sunday school, and , grown up persons in the adult school.--there was expended of the funds of the institution, for these various schools, during this period, l. s. d. . during this period there was expended of the funds of the institution l. s. d. for the purpose of circulating the holy scriptures, especially among the very poorest of the poor. there were issued during this period , bibles and new testaments.--there were altogether circulated from march , , up to may , , eight thousand eight hundred and ten bibles, and four thousand eight hundred and fifty-one new testaments. for two years previous to may , , it was on my heart, to seek to make some especial effort for the spread of the holy scriptures and for the spread of simple gospel tracts, in a way and for a purpose which would not be accomplished by the giving of copies of the holy scriptures, or the giving of tracts to poor persons. my wish was, to put believers of the higher classes in the way of obtaining cheap pocket bibles for the purpose of giving them away as presents to more respectable persons, as well as furnishing them with the opportunity of purchasing bibles and new testaments, at a cheap rate, for giving them away among the poor; and of furnishing believers in the higher classes, who are tract distributors, with an opportunity of purchasing simple gospel tracts for circulation. connected with this i desired, especially, to present the truths of the gospel, in print, before genteel persons, whom i had not the same opportunity of reaching as poorer persons to whom tracts and bibles might be given. to this my attention was turned on account of the mighty efforts which were made to take away the holy scriptures, and to spread tracts which contain most pernicious errors. up to this time we had never had, to any considerable extent, a depository for bibles and tracts. the circulation of tracts had been almost exclusively by gratuitous distribution; and thus it had been also, for some years previously, with reference to the circulation of the holy scriptures.--for a very long time, however, we could not meet with a suitable house, till at last, after much prayer, and waiting for more than a year, convenient premises were obtained by renting no. , park street, bristol. on april , , this bible and tract warehouse was opened with prayer. . during this year there was spent of the funds of the institution, for missionary objects, the sum of l. s. d. by this sum fifty-one labourers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, were to a greater or less degree assisted. it is a subject of joy and thankfulness to me, to be able to inform the believing reader, that the lord was pleased to grant again much blessing upon the labours of these brethren during this year. many sinners were converted through their instrumentality, some of whom had been in a most awful state. this remark applies both to foreign and home labourers. . there was laid out for the circulation of tracts, from may , , to may , , the sum of l. s. ½ d. there were circulated during the year , tracts. the total number of tracts, which were circulated from the beginning up to may , , was , , . the lord is pleased to increase this part of the work more and more. it is not merely, however, of the increase in the number of tracts that i have to speak. i heard during this year of one case after another, in which the tracts, with which the lord enabled me to furnish the many brethren who circulate them, were used by him in the way of communicating great blessing to believers, or as instruments of conversion to unbelievers. i would indeed with all my might seek to spread the truth of god by means of these little publications in greater and greater numbers; but i would follow them also, day by day, with my prayers, and never trust in the numbers which have been issued, but in god, to grant his blessing, without which all these efforts are in vain. a great number of believers, in various parts of the world, aid me in the circulation of tracts. up to april , however, almost all the tracts which were circulated were given away gratuitously, but, as has been stated already, there was then more particularly commenced the sale of tracts also, in connexion with the sale of bibles, at the bible and tract warehouse, no. , park street, bristol. . on may , , there were. three hundred orphans in the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol. from that day up to may , , there wore admitted into it twenty-seven orphans, making in all. of these , nine died during the year; one orphan was sent to christian relatives, who by that time were able to provide for him, and who felt it their duty to do so; one was sent to relatives on account of being in such a state of health that the establishment was an unsuitable place for her; three of the elder girls, who were able to earn their bread by entering service, but who could not be recommended to any situation, after they had been long borne with, were at last sent in disgrace from the establishment to their relatives. this course was adopted as a last remedy with regard to themselves, and as a solemn warning for all the children in the establishment. four girls were with comfort sent out to service, and nine boys were apprenticed at the expense of the establishment. this makes the removals as many as the reception of new orphans, so that the number was still in the new orphan house, on may , . the total of the expenses, connected with the support of the orphans, from may , , to may , , was l. s. d. the total number of orphans under our care from april , to may , , was five hundred and fifteen. i notice further the following points in connection with the new orphan house. . without any one having been personally applied to for anything, by me, the sum of , l. s. d. was given to me for the orphans as the result of prayer to god from the commencement of the work, up to may , . it may be also interesting to the reader to know, that the total amount, which was given as free contributions, for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , amounted to , l. s. ¼ d.; and that, which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day-schools, amounted to , /. s. ¾ d. besides this, also a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, &c., were given for the use of the orphans. . during no period of the work had we such great affliction in the way of sickness in the orphan establishment as during this. for nearly four months the scarlet fever and other diseases prevailed, so that more than one hundred children were seriously ill during this period, and at one time there were orphans confined to their beds. but the lord dealt very mercifully with us. only died in consequence of the scarlet fever, though we had decided cases. . several of the orphans who left the establishment during this year went away as believers, having been converted some time before they left; one also who died gave very decided evidence of a true change of heart by faith in our lord jesus; several who in former years were under our care, as we heard during this year, took their stand openly on the lord's side, and dated their first impressions to the instructions received whilst with us; and lastly, of those under our care, there were not a few whose spiritual state gave us joy and comfort. thus, amidst many difficulties and trials and some discouragements, we had abundant cause to praise god for his goodness, and to go forward in the strength of the lord. matters connected with my own personal affairs. dec. , . during this year the lord was pleased to give me� . by anonymous offerings through the chapel boxes . . . . . £ ¾ . by presents in money from believers in bristol, not given anonymously . . by presents in money, from believers not residing in bristol . . . . by presents in provisions, clothes, &c., worth to us at least . . . ---- £ ¾ admire, dear reader, the lord's kindness towards me, in that again, during this year also, ha has so abundantly supplied me with means for my own personal and family necessities, without any regular salary or other stated income whatever, simply in answer to prayer. further account of the intended orphan house for seven hundred poor children, bereaved of both parents by death, from may , , to may , . in the last chapter on this subject, it was stated, that on may , , had actually in hand towards this object , l. s. ¼ d.; and now i go on to relate how the lord has been pleased to help me further since then; but, for the sake of brevity, i can only refer to the more remarkable donations. june . received s. d. from the orphans in the girl's department of the new orphan house, in commemoration of the anniversary of the opening of the new orphan house, which took place this day three years. received also s. d. from the orphan boys. these little sums from these children have given me much joy. i likewise received this day a donation of l., of which the donor kindly wished me to keep l. for my own personal expenses, and to use the l. as might be most needed. i took of this sum l. for the building fund, l. towards the support of the orphans, and l. for the various other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. june . today i was informed that there had been paid into the hands of my bankers l. this sum is from a donor whom i have never seen, but whom god evidently has led, in answer to my daily supplications, and to those of my fellow-labourers, to help me in his service. this donation has exceedingly refreshed my spirit, and has led me to expect more and more help from god. as this l. is left at my disposal, i took of it one-third for the building fund, another third for the current expenses for the orphans, and the last third for the school�, bible�, tract�, and missionary fund of the scriptural knowledge institution. july . l. the money being left to my disposal, i took half for the building fund--and half for the school�, bible�, tract� and missionary objects. july . received from one of the orphans, formerly under our care, the following lines: "dear sir, will you please to accept the enclosed silver chain for the building fund, and the s. d. for your personal use, from your grateful orphan, * * * *." this donation gave me much joy. aug. . from an irish friend l., "as a small acknowledgment of the donor's gratitude to his heavenly father for enriching him with the unsearchable riches of christ, and to his dear redeemer for loving him, and giving himself for him." aug. . from the neighbourhood of london l. aug. . from southport a gold ring--i received also today the following letter from madras, east indies, enclosing a donation of l. for the building fund. "* * * * * madras, th july, . "dear brother, "some time in the year or i met with �the lord's dealings with george müller,' and, after rending it, was moved to send you something; but at that time i had not the means. in fact, i had lent, what little money i had, to a person who was unable to repay me, and i was nearly destitute. the good hand of god has been on me since that time, and i have often wondered whether george müller was still in the flesh but never had the resolution to inquire. last december i met in a friend's house the twelfth report, and, after reading it, resolved to cast a mite into the lord's treasury towards building the orphan-house for seven hundred children; and may the god of jacob, that has fed me all my life long, unto this day, accept of it, as an acknowledgment of the thousandth part of the mercies i have received at his hands. i therefore enclose a bill of exchange * * * *. value of bill seventy pounds sterling. * * * * i have often mentioned you by name in my appeals to the throne of grace; and if i meet you not on earth, i hope i shall in those regions where we shall see the lamb on his throne and in his father's kingdom, and where there is no more sin or sorrow. my dear brother, "ever yours, "* * * * *" this donation and letter have exceedingly refreshed my spirit, and quickened me yet further to prayer. pause a few moments dear reader. see how faith and prayer bring means from individuals whom we have never seen, whose very names we have never heard of, and who live at a distance of more than ten thousand miles from us. do you not see that it is not in vain, to make known our requests to the lord, and to come to him for everything? when it was first laid on my heart, to build a second orphan-house for destitute children, bereaved of both parents by death, simply in dependence upon god alone for means, could i have looked for this l. from this christian brother at madras? verily not, for i did not even know of his existence. had i other friends, from whom to expect the large sum which will be needed to accomplish this? no, on the contrary, all human probability was against my ever receiving this large sum. but i had faith in god. i believed that he was able and willing to give me what was needed for this work; and solely in dependence upon him i purposed to build another orphan-house. but now see bow god has helped me further; for after i had received this donation of l., i had still only , l. s. ¾ d. in hand, in other words, only a little more than the ninth part of the sum which, as far as i am able to calculate, will be needed to accomplish my object. aug. . during this month again fourteen destitute orphans have been applied for, none of whom we can receive, because the new orphan-house is full. there are now orphans already waiting for admission, from six months old and upwards, each bereaved of both parents by death. sept. . during the last five days, only l. s. had come in for the building fund, and only l. s. altogether for the current expenses for the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. such seasons try my faith and patience; but, by the grace of god, they do not discourage me. he helps me to continue in prayer, and to look for answers, and for a time when he will help again bountifully. during the past eighteen years and six months, which i have been occupied in this service, i have again and again found, that, after a season, during which very little has come in, and my faith has thus been tried, the lord has generally the more bountifully helped afterwards. thus it has been again this day. i have received a donation of l. s. d., of which the donor kindly wished me to take l. s. d. for my own personal expenses, and to use the l. as the work of the lord in my hands might require. i took of this sum one-third for the building fund, one-third for the current expenses for the orphans, and one-third for the other objects. thus i had at once a four-fold answer to prayer; , means for my own personal expenses, about which i had been asking the lord; , means for the building fund, for which i am day by day labouring in prayer; , means for the current expenses for the orphans, which were greatly needed; and , means for the other objects, which were entirely exhausted. sept. . from melbourne, in australia, l., from a believer in the lord jesus, whose name even i did not know up to the time that i received this donation.--see, dear reader, how the lord helps me, in answer to prayer. do you not perceive that my fellow-labourers and myself do not wait upon the lord in vain? be encouraged by this! go for yourself, with all your temporal and spiritual wants, to the lord. bring also the necessities of your friends and relatives to the lord. only make the trial, and you will perceive how able and willing he is to help you. should you, however, not at once, obtain answers to your prayers, be not discouraged; but continue patiently, believingly, perseveringly to wait upon god: and as assuredly as that, which you ask, would be for your real good, and therefore for the honour of the lord; and as assuredly as you ask it solely on the ground of the worthiness of our lord jesus, so assuredly you will at last obtain the blessing. i myself have had to wait upon god concerning certain matters for years, before i obtained answers to my prayers; but at last they came. at this very time, i have still to renew my requests daily before god, respecting a certain blessing for which i have besought him for eleven years and a half, and which i have as yet obtained only in part, but concerning which i have no doubt that the full blessing will be granted in the end. so also, when i was led to build the new orphan-house, and waited upon the lord for means for it, it took two years and three months, whilst day by day i brought this matter before him, before i received the full answer.--but to return to my journal. this donation of l. from melbourne, refreshed my spirit greatly, and quickened me yet further to prayer.--on the same day i received from sheffield l., and from tottenham l. oct. . thirteen more orphans have been applied for during this month. nov. . this evening i received a check for l. for the building fund. � i am continually looking out for help, and am sustained in waiting upon god, and in being enabled daily, and generally several times every day, to bring the matter about the building fund before him. i know that god hears me, on the ground of the worthiness of the lord jesus, and that at last he will give me the full amount needed for accomplishing this work. how the means are to come, i know not; but i know that god is almighty, that the hearts of all are in his hands, and that, if he pleaseth to influence persons, they will send help. in this donation of l., received this evening, i have seen afresh, how easily god can send means. the donor, who sent it, was not even known to me by name this day month; but, on oct. th, he sent me l. for the orphans, and now l. for the building fund. nothing had come in during the former part of the day; still, i was looking out, and, when i returned from the orphan-house, found that this l. had arrived at my house. but i expect far larger sums. nov. . from london three boxes and two parcels of books, containing volumes in all, to be sold for the building fund. nov. . l.--from the neighbourhood of stroud s.--from one of the former orphans s., being part of her first quarter's wages. sent as a token of gratitude. nov. . l., which, being left to my disposal, i took of it l. for the building fund, l. for preachers of the gospel at home and abroad, l. for the circulation of the holy scriptures, and l. for the circulation of tracts. nov. . from malta l. nov. . "from the neighbourhood of leominster, as a thank-offering," l. day by day i am waiting upon god, concerning this object. i firmly believe that the lord will give me all i require for the accomplishment of it though i am utterly unworthy. i believe that i shall also have large sums, very large sums, when the lord has been pleased sufficiently to exercise my faith and patience. today i received l., the disposal of which was left to me. i took, therefore, l. for the building fund, l. for current expenses for the orphans, /. for the home and foreign labourers in the word, whom i seek to assist, l. for gratuitous circulation of the holy scriptures among very poor persons, l. for gratuitous circulation of gospel tracts, and l. for all the various day schools, sunday schools, and the adult school, which the scriptural knowledge institution either assists or entirely supports. nov. . during this month, again children, bereaved of both parents by death, lawfully begotten, and in destitute circumstances, have been applied for, not one of whom i have any prospect of being able to admit until the lord shall have been pleased to enable me to build another orphan-house. the many orphans waiting for admission, whose number is increasing every month, lead me to continue in earnest supplication, that the lord would be pleased to furnish me with means for the erection of another orphan-house. nor do i doubt that he will help me. jan. . from the neighbourhood of stroud l. s. d.--anonymously in a letter d.--from newtown limavady l.--also l. s. d., which, being left to my disposal, i portioned out thus: l. for the orphans, l. for the school, bible, missionary and tract fund, and l. s. d. for the building fund. jan. . from london s. d.--day by day i have now been waiting upon god for means for the building fund for more than nineteen months, and almost daily i have received something in answer to prayer. these donations have been, for the most part, small, in comparison with the amount which will be required for the completion of this object; nevertheless they have shown that the lord, for the sake of his dear son, listens to my supplications and to those of my fellow labourers and helpers in the work; and they have been precious encouragements to me to continue to wait upon god. i have been for many months assured that the lord, in his own time, would give larger sums for this work; and for this i have been more and more earnestly entreating him, during the last months. now at last he has abundantly refreshed my spirit, and answered my request. i received today the promise, that, as the joint donation of several christians, there should be paid to me a donation of eight thousand and one hundred pounds for the work of the lord in my hands. of this sum i purpose to take , l. for the building fund, l. for the current expenses for the orphans, and , l. for the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. [this joint donation of several christians was paid in four installments during january, february, march, and april.] it is impossible to describe the spiritual refreshment which my heart received through this donation. day by day, for nineteen months, i had been looking out for more abundant help than i had had. i was fully assured that god would help me with larger sums; yet the delay was long. see how precious it is to wait upon god! see how those who do so, are not confounded! their faith and patience may long and sharply he tried; but in the end it will most assuredly be seen, that those who honour god he will honour, and will not suffer them to be put to shame. the largeness of the donation, whilst it exceedingly refreshed my spirit, did not in the least surprise me; for i expect great things from god. i quote a paragraph from the twelfth report, page , where under jan. , , this will be found written: "i received this evening the sum of three thousand pounds, being the largest donation which i have had as yet. i have had very many donations of l. and of l., several of l., one of l., several of l., some of from l. to l., four of , l., two of , l., and one of , l., but never had more than this given to me at one time; yet i have expected more than , l. in one donation, and, accordingly, it has pleased the lord to give me , l. this evening. i now write again that i expect far larger sums still, in order that it may be yet more and more manifest, that there is no happier, no easier, and no better way for obtaining pecuniary means for the work of the lord, than the one in which i have been led." this, you perceive, dear reader, was written more than two years ago. since then i have again received many considerable donations, besides thousands of pounds in smaller sums. and now the largest donation of , l., was surpassed by the one of , l. have i then been boasting in god in vain? is it not manifest that it is most precious, in every way, to depend upon god? do i serve god for nought? is it not obvious that the principles on which i labour, are not only applicable to the work of god on a small scale, but also, as i have so many times affirmed during the past nineteen years, for the most extensive operations for god? i delight to dwell upon this, if, by any means, some of my beloved fellow believers might be allured to put their whole trust in god for every thing; and if, by any means, some unbelievers thereby might be made to see that god is verily the living god now as ever, and might be stirred up to seek to be reconciled to him by putting their trust in the atonement of the lord jesus christ, and thus find in god a friend for time and eternity. feb. . saturday evening. the lord has been pleased to send in the means as sparingly this month, as he was pleased to send them in abundantly during the last. but this is for the trial of my faith and patience. while, however, these graces are exercised by the lord, he kindly sustains both. with unshaken confidence and joyful anticipation am i, by the help of god, enabled to go forward day by day, looking on to the day when i shall have the whole amount requisite for this object, just as it was with reference to the building of the new orphan house on ashley down. i know that i shall not be confounded; for i trust in god, and for the honour of his name proposed the building of this second orphan house. yet my soul longs, to be able to declare to the church of christ at large, that i have obtained an answer to this my oft repeated request, which again and again, every day, is brought before him, and in which request my fellow labourers in the work join. moreover, i long to be able to show to an unbelieving world afresh, by this my petition being granted, that verily there is reality in the things of god. and lastly, i long to be able to commence the building of this second orphan house, because there are now orphans waiting for admission. i have not yet received anything today for this object; but the lord can even now give me something this evening; but be that as it may, i know that, when his time is come, and when my patience has been sufficiently exercised, he will help me abundantly. that word respecting abraham: "and so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise," (hebrew vi, ), has been repeatedly a precious word to me during the last days, it having come of late in the course of my reading through the new testament. feb. . this evening, after another long season of prayer respecting the work of god in my hands, and especially also, that it might please the lord to give me soon what i need for the building fund, so that i may be enabled to take active steps in the erection of another orphan house, came in the course of my reading and meditation james i. this forcibly reminded me of the close of november and the beginning of december in , when, whilst labouring for a season in the word at sunderland, this portion also came in the course of my meditation on the whole new testament. james i, : "but let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing," was then particularly impressed on my mind as a portion which i should need to keep before me. i was at that time, day by day, waiting upon the lord for means and every other help which might be needed in connexion with the orphan house, which i had purposed to build in dependence upon the lord for help. i had not the least doubt that god would help me through all the difficulties connected with this work. i felt as sure that he would enable me to accomplish this work, as if i had actually seen the house before me, inhabited by orphans; but i had reason to believe, at the same time, that great and many and varied would be my trials of faith and patience, before all would be accomplished. i had not at that time one single shilling in hand towards this work, but often, even then, whilst staying at sunderland, and meditating on this first chapter of the epistle of james, did i praise god before hand, that he would give me everything i should need in connexion with this intended orphan house. now this evening, february , , i am writing in that very house, the new orphan house, with its orphans, about which i was then praying. nearly four years it has been already inhabited by orphans. and i now say again, "let patience have her perfect work," with reference to the intended orphan house for more orphans; but also, at the same time, am i assured that the lord will enable me to accomplish this also. march .--from scotland l., of which the donor kindly wished me to give l. to mr. craik, to take l. for my own personal expenses, and to use the l. as most needed. i took, therefore, l. for the building fund, and l. for the current expenses for the orphans. this donation has been a great refreshment to my spirit; for since jan. th only little, comparatively, has come in either for the building fund or for the current expenses. march . for nearly three months the lord has been pleased to exercise my patience by the comparatively small amount of means which has come in. it was more an exercise of patience than of faith; for, during all this time, we not only abounded, with regard to means for the current expenses, through the large sums, which had come in at the beginning of the year, but i had also even now considerable sums in hand, for the current expenses of the various objects. still, though not actually in need of means, yet my spirit had been enabled to labour on in prayer for means for the building fund in particular, and also for means for current expenses, in order that it may become more and more manifest, what a happy, easy, and successful way this is. now, this evening, when i came home, i found that l. had come in. this is a great refreshment to my spirit.--as the amount is left to my disposal as may be most needed, i have taken one half of it for the building fund, and the other half for the current expenses for the orphans. the other objects abound at present with means, and even for the orphans i have yet above l. in hand. april . received from a most unexpected quarter l., which i took half for the building fund, and half for the orphans, as the other objects were not in immediate need of means. this donation has much refreshed my spirit. may . received l., of which i took l. for the building fund, and l. for the current expenses for the orphans. may . from gloucester s.--through the box at the bible and tract warehouse in park street, bristol, l. s. d.--by sale of an old gold watch, a few trinkets, some old silver coins, and some small pieces of broken silver articles, l. s. d.--also l. s. d., being the proceeds arising from the sale of a work published in english and l. s., being the proceeds arising from the sale of a work published in french; were given to the building fund.--to these sums is to be added l. s. d., received during this period for interest; for i felt it my duty, as has been stated before, to invest the money given to me for the building fund until actually required. thus closes this period, from may , , to may , . all the donations received during this period for the building fund, together with the l. s. ¼ d. in hand, on may , , made the total of , l. s. ¼ d. in hand on may , . the following paragraphs were printed in the report of , respecting the intended orphan house, which are here reprinted for the better understanding of the subject. a. besides having the means to meet all the demands which came upon me in connexion with the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad; and besides enlarging almost all of them considerably, so that the sum of l. s. ½ d. altogether was expended; i have been enabled to add, during the past twelvemonth, , l. s. to the building fund. the total sum, which god has been pleased to give to me, during the year, both for current expenses and the building fund, amounts to , l. s. d. b. it is true that very much yet is needed for the building fund, before i shall be enabled to accomplish the desire of my heart, in building another house for more orphans. i may have also yet many trials of faith and patience to pass through; but what the lord has done for me during the past years in particular, and all his dealings with me in connexion with the scriptural knowledge institution; and all his help afforded for building the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol, which has been now already inhabited for four years encourage me to continue to wait upon god. by his grace i am not tired of waiting upon him for means. yea, i confess to his praise, that, the longer i live, the more i am practically assured of the blessedness of waiting upon god for every thing. c. there is no decrease as to the application for the admission of orphans. this, in addition to all the help and support which the lord has granted to me for these many years in the work, and in addition to the means received for the building fund during the past year, encourages me greatly, to continue to wait upon god for help, to be enabled to build another orphan house for orphans. on may , , there were orphans waiting for admission. since then there have been orphans applied for, making in all . of these, as only few vacancies have occurred during the past year, not more than could be received into the new orphan house, and besides, as i have been informed by applicants, were otherwise provided for, so that are to be deducted from , which leaves orphans waiting for admission. many of these are very young, some even under one year old. but i have the fullest reason to believe, that many persons are kept from applying for the admission of orphans, because there are already so many waiting, else the number would be greater still. with such a number of poor destitute orphans before me, bereaved of both parents by death, how can i but labour on in prayer for means, for the accomplishment of this object; and i have not the least doubt that, after the lord may have been pleased to exercise my faith and patience yet somewhat more, unworthy though i am of it, he will condescend to grant the request for the whole amount of the means which are needed for the building of this second orphan house, in answer to the supplications which my fellow-labourers and myself continually bring before him. d. it must not be supposed that i am discouraged, because two years have elapsed since i first began to receive donations towards this object, and as yet only , l. l s. ¼ d. is in hand. i expected trials of faith and patience, both for my own profit, and for the benefit of others, who might hear of the lord's dealings with me. i was not without trials, yea, not without many trials of faith and patience, in building the new orphan house for orphans; nor did i obtain the means then till after the lapse of two years and three months; therefore, in seeking to build this house for orphans, i am not surprised that i should have to wait patiently. but of this i have never had a doubt that, after the lord had sufficiently tried my faith and patience, he would supply me with all i need. i therefore wait his time. moreover, the lord, in a very short time, can give me all i need, it is not necessary that twice or thrice as much time as has already elapsed should have to pass away, before i am in a position to be warranted to take active measures; yet, be this as it may, by the grace of god i am content to wait his time. e. should it be asked, whether i intend to wait till i have the whole sum of thirty-five thousand pounds, which will be needed; or whether i purpose to begin the building before; my reply is this i do not purpose to delay the beginning of the building till i have what is required for fitting up and furnishing the house, which is included in that sum; for i may well trust in the lord for that amount whilst the house is being built; but as i, on scriptural grounds, neither for my own personal expenses, nor for the work of god, go into debt, i should not begin building, till i have sufficient to meet the amount of the contracts of the builders, for which, together with the land, i consider not less than , l. would be needed, so that i have just half the amount requisite for that. supplies for the school�, bible�, missionary and tract fund, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . on may , , when the accounts were closed, there was left in hand for these objects the balance of l. s. ½ d. before this balance was expended, i received, on may , , from the neighbourhood of whitehaven, l. s. for missions. on may , from belper s. d. for missions. on may , through bethesda boxes s. d. and d. for missions. on june th, i received from somersetshire. l.; and on the same day i found that a christian bookseller in london had, paid into the hands of my bankers l. s. d., which he had been ordered to pay to me, on behalf of a christian gentleman, to whom this amount was due. this sum i took for these objects. but the lord helped still further. june . l. from y. z.--june . from y. z. l. s. through bethesda boxes for missions s. ditto s. through salem boxes s. d. from "p." s. ditto d. �june. . from one engaged in the work l. � june . from clifton d.--june . from w, w. l. "for missionary brethren, labouring in dependence upon god for their temporal supplies." also l. came in, of which i took l. for these objects, as stated with reference to this donation, in giving an account of the donations for the building fund.--june . l. came in, as stated under building fund, of which one-third or l. s. d. was taken for these objects. this is just a specimen of how the lord helped me, week after week, to meet the expenses during this period. about six hundred pounds a month, or above seven thousand pounds during the year, i had to expend for the various objects of the institution; but i had sufficient to meet every demand; and over and above i was helped by the lord to increase the building fund nine thousand pounds above what it was the year before. the current expenses of the institution were never so great during the previous nineteen years; but the extent of its operations, and the means which the lord was pleased to send in, were also never so great. i stated, however, before, that i could not give here in detail an account of every donation. i, therefore, single out a few more instances, to show the manner in which the lord helped me. aug. . the funds for these objects were now reduced to about l.; but there was much required in order to be able to go on with the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, and to assist missionary brethren; when i received this evening l., which was left to me to be applied as seemed best to me. i took therefore one half for the current expenses for the orphans, and the other half for these objects, and was thus again supplied for the present. aug. . l. for missions from w. w. sept. . little, comparatively, has come in since august th. only twenty-seven donations altogether, of which only a few were rather large sums. therefore all our means were now gone. on the rd of this month i sent out l. to six brethren who labour in the word, and would on that day have sent out l, more to other six brethren, but had not the means; and, therefore, could only wait upon god. i also desired to order more bibles and tracts; but had to delay this likewise, as i would not go into debt for them. now this morning i received l. s. d. [referred to under the building fund], of which l. s. d. was taken for these objects. thus i am helped again for the present, and look for further supplies. oct. . only nineteen donations, almost all small, have come in for these objects since september th. for the last three days i have especially desired means for these objects. gladly would i have helped brethren who labour in the word at home and abroad; but was unable to do so, and could only pray for means. now this morning the lord gave me the desire of my-heart in this respect. i received a donation of l. s., which, being left at my disposal, i took one half for these objects, and the other half for the current expenses for the orphans. nov. . "from an irish friend" l. for missions.--i have particularly prayed within the last few days for means for missionary objects, as all means are gone; therefore this donation is very refreshing as an answer to prayer. but i expect more, as i desire to send out shortly l. at least to brethren who labour in the word. this i wrote, as the date shows, on november rd, and that which follows will now show to the reader, that i did not wait upon god in vain. during no period, within the nineteen years previously, was i enabled to do so much in the way of aiding missionary operations, as during this period; and during no previous period so much in the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, as during this; yet once or twice all the means for these objects were expended, and i had to stand still and to wait upon god for further supplies. the servant of christ, who knows that he is not occupied about his own work, but about that of his master, can, however, be quiet, and ought to be quiet, under such circumstances, in order to prove that he is only the servant and not the master. if he cannot be quiet, and if, in the restlessness of nature, he will work and take steps when he ought to stand still, and wait upon god; then let him suspect himself, and let him see well to it, whether the work in which he is engaged is god's work or not; and whether, if it be god's work, it is done for the honour of the master or for the honour of the servant. in this case god abundantly recompensed me for standing still for a little, and for calling upon him. i had not to wait long, before he was pleased to help me. i now go on with my journal, to show to the reader how the lord answered prayer in this instance. nov. . received from okehampton six silver tea spoons, to be sold for foreign missions. nov. . received l. with the following words: "enclosed is a post office order, drawn out in your favour by * * * * *, three pounds of which my dear husband is constrained to send to you for foreign missions. the other two i send; one for your own personal expenses, and the other to be used for the orphans, as their need may require, &c." i have especially prayed, for several days past, for help for brethren who labour in the word at home and abroad, as i have no means left for them, and could lay out at once l. or l. on their behalf. therefore this donation is particularly precious. but i expect more. nov. . from braunton l. for missions.--anonymously s. d. for missions. nov. . from some believers at ludlow l. s. for foreign missions. nov. . during the last ten days i have especially asked the lord for means for home and foreign labourers. this also was particularly dwelt upon at our usual weekly prayer meeting of the labourers in the work on saturday the th of november. now today i received l. s. for the work of the lord in my hands. as the application of the money was left to me, i took the whole of this amount for home and foreign labourers in the word, as they, greatly need help; and i expect by tomorrow evening to have sent out the whole amount.--in the course of my reading through the holy scriptures there came today john xvi. , "verily, verily i say unto you, whatsoever ye shall ask the father in my name, he will give it you." i turned to my father in heaven and said: "be pleased, holy father, to hear me for the sake of thy holy child jesus, and give me means for these dear brethren who labour in the word and doctrine, whom i seek to help." in about half an hour afterwards i received this l. . nov. . today were paid to me two legacies, left by a lady at a distance whom i have never seen, and whose name even i had never heard, till i was informed about the payment of the legacies. i received the legacy of l. for the orphans (being l. s. with the interest due), and l. for the various schools for poor children under my direction (being l. s. with the interest due.)--in portioning out yesterday the means for the brethren who labour in the word at home and abroad, to whom i desire to send help, i found that the l. s. was not enough, and also that i needed more means for the various schools and the circulation of bibles and tracts. on this account the payment of this legacy of l. s. for the schools came in very seasonably. but the lord helped still further this evening by a donation of l., the application of which is entirely left to me. i have therefore taken of it l. for missionary brethren, l. for the circulation of the holy scriptures, and l. for the circulation of gospel tracts. nov. . from yorkshire l. for foreign missions.--from cumberland s. d. for missionaries in demerara�also l., left to my disposal, as i might be directed by the lord. i took of it l. for the building fund, l. for foreign and home labourers in the word, l. for the circulation of the holy scriptures, and l. for the circulation of gospel tracts.--during the last eight days i had sent out l. to home and foreign labourers in the word, and l. i had paid out for the circulation of tracts and the holy scriptures. i desired, however, still further means for brethren who labour in the word, for i wished to send out at once l. more, and also to lay out more on the circulation of the holy scriptures and gospel tracts; but i had only about l. altogether left for these various objects, when i received today the l., the s. d., and this l. the lord be praised for this help, and may he recompense the donors. you see, dear reader, by these instances, that we are richly recompensed for our waiting upon god. you perceive the readiness of his heart to listen to the supplications of his children who put their trust in him. if you have never made trial of it, do so now. but in order to have your prayers answered, you need to make your requests unto god on the ground of the merits and worthiness of the lord jesus. you must not depend upon your own worthiness and merits, but solely on the lord jesus, as the ground of acceptance before god, for your person, for your prayers, for your labours, and for every thing else. do you really believe in jesus? do you verily depend upon him alone for the salvation of your soul? see to it well, that not the least degree of your own righteousness is presented unto god as a ground of acceptance. but then, if you believe in the lord jesus, it is further necessary, in order that your prayers may be answered, that the things which you ask of god should be of such a kind, that god can give them to you, because they are for his honour and your real good. if the obtaining of your requests were not for your real good, or were not tending to the honour of god, you might pray for a long time, without obtaining what you desire. the glory of god should be always before the children of god, in what they desire at his hands; and their own spiritual profit, being so intimately connected with the honour of god, should never be lost sight of, in their petitions. but now, suppose we are believers in the lord jesus, and make our requests unto god, depending alone on the lord jesus as the ground of having them granted; suppose also, that, so far as we are able honestly and uprightly to judge, the obtaining of our requests would be for our real spiritual good and for the honour of god; we yet need, lastly, to continue in prayer, until the blessing is granted unto us. it is not enough to begin to pray, nor to pray aright; nor is it enough to continue for a time to pray; but we must patiently, believingly continue in prayer, until we obtain an answer; and further, we have not only to continue in prayer unto the end, but we have also to believe that god does hear us, and will answer our prayers. most frequently we fail in not continuing in prayer until the blessing is obtained and in not expecting the blessing. as assuredly as in any individual these various points are found united, so assuredly answers will be granted to his requests. from what i have stated, the reader will have seen that my prayer had been especially, that the lord would be pleased to furnish me with means for the circulation of bibles and tracts, and for missionary operations; and it has been shown how he granted this my request through the large sums which he sent me (entirely unasked for, so far as man is concerned), on november , and ; but even this was but little in comparison with what he did for me afterwards, when he was pleased to place far greater sums at my disposal for these objects, to which reference has been already made, when speaking about the donations which came in for the building fund on november , , and on january and , . thus i was carried through all the expenses for these various objects, and was enabled to enter into every open door which the lord set before me for circulating the holy scriptures and tracts, and for aiding missionary operations; and not only so, but was enabled to do for these various objects more then during any one period within the nineteen previous years. means for the support of the orphans already under our care, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . when we began this period, we were not only not in debt, but had in hand the balance of l. s. ¾ d. to those who are in very poor circumstances, this amount would appear a considerable sum, and they might think, this sum would last a long tine. such need, however, to know, that it would only furnish the current expenses of two weeks, and that often in one week much more than that sum has been disbursed for the orphans. to those, on the other hand, who would say, "this is very little, and what will you do, with so small a sum in hand, when day by day persons need to be provided for?" our reply is, god is able to send us more, before this sum is gone. we seek for grace, to live by the day. we seek to be enabled to attend to the commandment and affectionate counsel of the lord, to be anxious about nothing. it was in this way that no care came over our mind with regard to the future, when we looked at this large orphan establishment, with all its large daily wants; for we were assured, that the lord would surely give us something before all was expended. and thus it was. i will now furnish the reader with a few instances from my journal of the particular providence of god, manifested in caring for us, and granting us help in answer to our prayers; for i do especially desire it to be understood, that, though the work is now so very much larger than it was in former years, and therefore far larger sums are needed than before; yet the principles of trusting in god, and depending upon him alone, are now acted upon as formerly, only with this difference, that year by year, by the grace of god, my soul becomes more and more rooted and established in them. it would therefore be entirely a mistake, to suppose that it is no longer a work of faith. if it was formerly a work of faith on a small scale, it is now a work of faith on a large scale. if we had trials of faith formerly, about comparatively little things; we have now trials of faith about comparatively great things. if we formerly hind no certain income, so now have we none. we have to look to god for every thing in connexion with the world, of which often, however, the pecuniary necessities are the smallest matter; but to him we are enabled to look, and therefore it is, that we are not disappointed. during the very first month, from may th to june th, , there came in, by ninety-two different donations or sums, l. s. d.: so that we had, after a month, more in hand than before. unbelief, which said, what will you do with so little as l.? was therefore confounded. the lord increased thus little, before it was expended. june , . today i received one of the most remarkable donations which i ever had. i give the whole account, without the name of the donor. "lyons, june , . "dear brother in christ, "it is now several years, that i read with great interest, and i hope with some benefit to my soul, the account of your labours and experiences. ever since then your work was the object of many thoughts and prayers, and i gave many copies of your book to christian friends. one of them has read it in syria, on mount lebanon, where he is for commercial business; and, whilst praying for you and your clear orphans, the lord put it in his heart to send you l., to which my husband added two others: and we beg you to accept that small offering in the name of the lord. if you have published anything of the lord's dealings with you since the year , we shall be very happy to receive it. you could forward it to messrs. * * * *, london, for * * * * of lyons. and now, dear brother, may the grace and peace of the lord rest on you and your dear home's inhabitants. " affectionately yours in the lord, * * * *" i have had donations from australia, the east indies, the west indies, the united states, canada, from the cape of good hope, from france, switzerland, germany, italy, &c.; and now comes also this donation from mount lebanon, with the prayer of a christian brother, whose name i never heard, nor know even now. see, dear reader, this is the way in which the lord has helped me in this precious service for twenty-two year's [ ]. with my fellow-labourers, or without them, and they without me, our prayers are offered up unto the lord for help, and he is pleased, for jesus' sake, to listen to our supplications, and to influence the hearts of some of his children known to us or not, to send us help. the donors may be rich or poor; they may live near or at a distance of more than ten thousand miles; they may give much or little; they may have often given before or never; they may be well known to us or not at all; in these and many other things there may be constant variations; but god continually helps us; we are never confounded. and why not? simply because we are enabled, by time grace of god, to put our trust in him for what we need. on the very next day, june th, i received another donation from a believing farmer in jersey of l. s., which, with s. sent by him on june. th, were the proceeds of a small field of potatoes, which he had cultivated for the benefit of the orphans. see in what various ways the lord helps me! this dear man sent me once more in april , with an affectionate letter in french, l. for the orphans, and shortly afterwards fell asleep in jesus. while writing this account, i met with many names of worthy disciples of the lord jesus, who have entered upon their rest, since i received their donations; may this speak to my heart, and to the heart of the reader, and may we learn the lesson which god intends to teach us thereby! july . l. from liverpool. aug. . today i received l., of which i took one half for the orphans, and the other half for the other objects, the disposal of this sum being left with me. this is a precious answer to prayer. there will be about l. required during this month for the current expenses for the orphans, but there was only about l. in hand, when this donation came in. as the donations, which had come in since aug. th, were of a smaller kind, we had on sept. th scarcely anything left, when i received the l. s. d., spoken of (sept. th, ) under the building fund, of which l. s. d. was taken for the current expenses for the orphans. oct. . this evening there was only l. left in hand for the current expenses for the orphans. hitherto we had generally abounded. but though much had come in, since the commencement of this new period, yet our expenses had been greater than our income, as every donation almost of which the disposal was left with me, had been put to the building fund. thus the balance in hand on may , , notwithstanding the large income since then, was reduced to about l. i therefore gave myself particularly to prayer for means, that this small sum might be increased. when i came home this evening from the new orphan house, i found a letter from london, containing l., being two donations from kelso, of l. each, and another letter from peterborough, containing l. oct . this morning i received l. s. more from willenhall. thus the lord has already been pleased to add l. in to the little stock in hand, which is now increased to l. s.--another d. was added, by sale of a report.--this evening the matron told me that tomorrow she would need to have more money. i generally advance l. at a time for housekeeping expenses, but i had now only l. s. left, as i had to pay out this afternoon l. s. d. this i purposed to give to her, should it not please the lord to give more in the meantime, being assured that, before this amount was gone, he would give more. my prayer to the lord, however, was that he would be pleased to send help, and i looked out for means. when i came home this evening i found a letter from gosport, containing s., which a little boy has sent for the orphans, having received it as a reward for picking up a ring, and giving it to the owner. also a letter from kingstown, ireland, containing a post-office order for l. s., of which l. s. d. are for the building fund, and s. d. for reports. i likewise received d. for missions and d. for the orphans, from two boys in the neighbourhood of stroud. thus i have l, to advance tomorrow for house-keeping. oct. . this morning luke vii. came in the course of my reading before breakfast. while reading the account about the centurion and the raising from death of the widow's son at nain, i lifted up my heart to the lord jesus thus: "lord jesus, thou hast the same power now. thou canst provide me with means for thy work in my hands. be pleased to do so." � about half an hour afterwards i received l. s. also s. this l. s. was left at my disposal. i took one half for the current expenses for the orphans, and the other half for the other objects, and am now amply provided for meeting the demands of this day. the joy which such answers to prayer afford, cannot be described. i was determined to wait upon god only, and not to work an unscriptural deliverance for myself. i have thousands of pounds for the building fund; but i would not take of this sum because it was once set apart for that object. there is also a legacy of l. for the orphans two months overdue, in the prospect of the payment of which the heart might be naturally inclined to use some money of the building fund, to be replaced by the legacy money, when it comes in; but i would not thus step out of god's way of obtaining help. at the very time when this donation arrived, i had packed up l. which i happened to have in hand, received for the building fund, in order to take it to the bank, as i was determined not to touch it, but to wait upon god. my soul does magnify the lord for his goodness. this last paragraph is copied out of my journal, written down at the time, i add a few words more to the last sentences. the natural mind is ever prone to reason, when we ought to believe; to be at work, when we ought to be quiet; to go our own way, when we ought steadily to walk on in god's ways, however trying to nature. when first converted, i should have said, what harm can there be to take some of the money, which has been put by for the building fund? god will help me again after some time with means for the orphans, and then i can replace it. or, there is this money due for the legacy of l. this money is quite sure; may i not, therefore, on the strength of it, take some from the building fund, and when the legacy is paid, replace the money which i have taken? i know that many would act thus. but how does it work, when we thus anticipate god, by going our own way? we bring, in many instances, guilt on our conscience; but if not, we certainly weaken faith, instead of increasing it; and each time we work thus a deliverance of our own, we find it more and more difficult to trust in god, till at last we give way entirely to our natural fallen reason, and unbelief prevails. how different, if one is enabled to wait god's own time, and to look alone to him for help and deliverance! when at last help comes, after many seasons of prayer it may be, and after much exercise of faith and patience it may be, how sweet it is, and what a present recompense does the soul at once receive for trusting in god, and waiting patiently for his deliverance! dear christian reader, if you have never walked in this path of obedience before, do so now, and you will then know experimentally the sweetness of the joy which results from it. i now return to oct. , . received still further today, from cirencester, l., and also l. oct. . from two little girls at clifton, s.--by sale of a silver watch given for the purpose, l. s,--from a donor in maryport street, s. d.--through bethesda boxes s. ditto s. d. ditto a sovereign.--from a believer in bristol s.--by sale of empty oatmeal barrels, s. oct. . from sutton points, s. d. �through the boxes in the new orphan house, s.--from an orphans formerly under our care, and now in service, s., with s. for the building fund.--from a christian lady, recently come from edinburgh, l.--through a christian lady, staying at clifton, s. oct. . by sale of rags and bones s. d. [i copy literally from the receipt book. we seek to make the best of every thing. as a steward of public money, i feel it right that even these articles should be turned into money; nor could we expect answers to our prayers if knowingly there were any waste allowed in connexion with this work. for just because the money is received from god, simply in answer to prayer only, therefore it becomes us the more, to be careful in the use of it].-- by sale of reports s.--from an orphan box at plymouth s., together with s. as a donation added, and s. for reports. still further help: this afternoon a lady of clifton called at my house, and brought a check for l., which a gentlemen, whose name even i had never heard of, had sent her for the benefit of tine orphans. we are not now in actual need, yet as l. lies already been paid out of what i have received since the th, and as other heavy payments are before me, in a few days, it is particularly kind of the lord, to send this donation from a perfect stranger. nov. . today was paid to me the legacy for the orphans, to which reference has been made. i had no doubt it would come in in good time. thus it is. the expenses are heavy, week after week. the day after tomorrow, i shall have again to pay out above l. for the orphans. on dec. th, in the evening, i had only l. s. left. think of this, dear reader. so little, for so large an establishment! from dec. th to the evening of dec. th, there came in only about l.; and as i had paid out above l., i could only advance l. for house-keeping on dec. th, instead of the usual l., and had then about l. left for petty expenses. i knew that on the st i should have to advance again at least l. for house-keeping. now see how the lord was pleased to send in the means from the morning of dec. th to dec. st. dec. . from alcombe, near minehead, s.--from a poor widow in bristol, s.-- anonymously l. ditto a sovereign, with these words: "an orphan's mite for the orphan house."--from clifton, s., and s. besides.--dec. . from newport, in monmouthshire, s. and s.--from birmingham, l. s. with the same for my own personal expenses.--from boscrea d. from three children.--from lenwade, s.--dec. . from b. b. at leamington l.--anonymously, from london, s. d.--from three sisters s., s., l., also s. ½ d.--by sale of reports, s. --through the boxes in the new orphan house l. s. ½ d.--dec. . by sale of reports s. d.--from clifton l.--from two christian ladies in buckinghamshire l.� from some pupils on kingsdown s. thus i had on dec. st money enough to advance l. for house-keeping expenses, besides having had the means to pay away l. s. d. after i had given out the money in advance for house-keeping expenses, i had, at the close of the year, not l. left. but my mind was in full peace. now see how, before the l. which had been advanced was expended, and before other expenses came upon me, the lord was pleased to send in the means from the st to the th of january, .--jan. . anonymously s.--from sherborne, l.--from colchester s.-- from manchester s.--from a distance l. s. d.--from glouchstershire s. d.--from a brother in the lord in bristol l. s., together with s. d. from his orphan box. this brother had it on his heart, more than a twelvemonth ago, to dispose of an article for the benefit of the orphans, but could not meet with an opportunity till today. thus, in this time of need, the lord sends in this money.-- jan. . by sale of reports s.--from two christian sisters s., as a thank offering to the lord for the mercies of the past year.--from a lady at clifton s.--from a brother in bristol l.�-from torquay s., with s. for reports.--from worcester s. d.--from a brother in bristol l.--jan. . from waterford l.--from liverpool l.-- also the l. being part of the l. s. d. spoken of under the building fund.--from clifton s.--through salem boxes s. d.-- from "p." s. jan. . from ryde l.--from tottenham s. thus god helped me in a time of great, great need. but before this th of january was over, he did far more than ever in the way of supplying me with means, for the largest of all the donations i had ever had, and of which mention has been made before, was given to me, of which l. was portioned out for the current expenses for the orphans. i have been thus particular in this last paragraph, on purpose, to give a practical illustration that those are entirely mistaken who suppose that the work is now no longer a work of faith, as it used to be in former years. it is true, we have now a larger income, then we used to have in the years , , and ; but it is also true that our expenses are three times as great. we have no regular income now; even as we had not then. we ask no human being now for help; even as we did not then. we depend alone upon god, by his grace even as we did then. who is there in the whole world who will state that i ever asked him for help in this orphan work, from its commencement, on dec. , , up till now? now, as we have no funds to live upon; as we have no regular subscribers or donors upon whom we could depend; as we never ask help from man but god alone; and as, finally, we never did go into debt for this work, nor do we now: why is it not now a work of faith as formerly? will those, who say it is not, place themselves in my position, when, at the close of the year , i had not two pounds left, and about persons were day by day to be provided for, with all they need, and prove whether it is now anything else than a work of faith? every one, except those who are determined not to see, will have no difficulty in perceiving that now, as formerly, one could only be kept from being overwhelmed in such a position by looking day by day to the lord, and that not merely for pecuniary supplies, but for help under the numberless difficulties, which continually are met with in such a work. on account of the abundance which came in at the beginning of the year, together with what was received afterwards, there was not the least difficulty felt, in the way of means, for many weeks afterwards. of the donations that came in from jan. to april , and which amounted altogether to l. s. ¼ d., in different sums, large and small, i will only mention the following: jan. . from an aged christian merchant at clifton l.--from a christian merchant in london l., on feb. . april . in the prospect of having to pay away yet about l, before the accounts are closed on may th, and having only l. in hand, i asked the lord especially this evening, that he would be pleased to help me with means for the current expenses for the orphans, for which i might have far more in hand had i not with all my might given myself to the building fund, in order to be soon able to commence the building of this second orphan house. now, this evening, i found that a donation of l. had come in at my house during my absence, the disposal of which was entirely left to me. i took not the whole of this donation for the current expenses for the orphans, but only one half, and the other half for the building fund. the funds for the various schools, for the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, and for missionary objects, need nothing for at least six weeks to come. this donation has greatly refreshed my spirit, especially as it came from a most unexpected quarter. before the accounts were closed, i received, between april th and may th, , in just one hundred different sums, l. s. ½ d. more, so that i was able amply to supply all demands, and had the balance of l. s. d. left in hand. it was chiefly through a donation of l., given to be employed as most needed, spoken of under the building fund income on may th, , of which i took l. for the orphans, that we had so large an amount in hand. this donation was indescribably precious, as it not only, in conjunction with the other money which came in, carried me easily through all the expenses which absolutely needed to be met, and which were heavier than they ever had been during any month since the orphan work had been in existence; but also enabled me to do things which were most desirable, though not absolutely needful. how can i sufficiently praise, and adore, and magnify the lord, for his love and faithfulness, in carrying me thus from year to year through this his service, supplying me with all i need in the way of means, fellow labourers, mental strength, and, above all, spiritual support! but for his help and support, i should be completely overpowered in a very short time; yet, by his help, i go on, and am very happy spiritually, in my service; nor am i now generally worse in health than i was twenty years ago, but rather better. miscellaneous points respecting the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, with reference to the period from may , , to may , . . during this period there were four day schools, with children in them, entirely supported by the funds of the institution. further, one sunday school in bristol, with children, was entirely supported, and three others in devonshire, somersetshire, and gloucestershire, with children, were assisted. lastly, one adult school, with adult scholars, was entirely supported by the funds of the institution. there were under our care, from march , , to may , , in the various day schools, children, in the sunday school children, and in the adult school persons. there was expended of the funds of the institution, during this year, for the various schools, l. s. d. . during thus year there was laid out of the funds of the institution, on the circulation of the holy scriptures, l. s. ½ d., and there were circulated , bibles and , new testaments.--there were circulated from march , , up to may , , , bibles, and . new testaments. for several years past this part of the work has appeared more and more important to me, on account of the fearful attempts which have been made by the powers of darkness to rob the church of christ of the holy scriptures. i have on this account sought to embrace every opportunity to circulate the holy scriptures in england, ireland, canada, british guiana, the east indies, china, australia, &c. every open door which the lord was pleased to set before me in these or other parts of the world, i have joyfully entered; yea, i have counted it a privilege, indeed, to be permitted of god to send forth his holy word. many servants of christ, in various parts of the world, have assisted me in this service, through whose instrumentality copies of the holy scriptures have been circulated. our endeavour has been, to place the word of god in the hands of the very poorest persons, and also, in particular, to supply very aged persons with copies of the scriptures, printed in large type, as such copies still remain expensive, considering the means of the poor. nor have our efforts been in vain. for we had several cases of direct conversion, simply through circulating the holy scriptures, brought before us during this year. but we are fully assured, that the fruit which we have seen, as resulting from this part of the world, is but little in comparison with what we shall see in the day of christ's appearing. the disciples of the lord jesus should labour with all their might in the work of god, as if everything depended upon their own exertions; and yet, having done so, they should not in the least trust in their labour and efforts, and in the means which they use for the spread of the truth, but in god; and they should with all earnestness seek the blessing of god, in persevering, patient, and believing prayer. here is the great secret of success, my christian reader. work with all your might; but trust not in the least in your work. pray with all your might for the blessing of god; but work, at the same time, with all diligence, with all patience, with all perseverance. pray then, and work. work and pray. and still again pray, and then work. and so on all the days of your life. the result will surely be, abundant blessing. whether you see much fruit or little fruit; such kind of service will be blessed. we should labour then, for instance, with all earnestness in seeking to circulate thousands of copies of the holy scriptures, and hundreds of thousands of tracts, as if everything depended upon the amount of copies of the holy scriptures and tracts which we circulate; and yet, in reality, we should not in the least degree put our dependence upon the number of copies of the holy scriptures, and upon the number of tracts, but entirely upon god for his blessing, without which all these efforts are entirely useless. this blessing, however, should be sought by us habitually and perseveringly in prayer. it should also be fully expected. . during this year there was spent of the funds of the institution for missionary objects , l. s. d. by this sum fifty-four labourers in the word and doctrine, in various pants of time world, were to a greater or less degree assisted. during no period within the nineteen years previous to may , , was so large a portion of the funds of the institution expended, in one year, upon missionary objects, as during this year; and in every single case i was enabled to help to the full amount of what appeared desirable. refreshing as this is, and thankful as we desire to be to the lord for it; yet it were but a very little thing, had there not been corresponding results. but i have to record to the praise of the lord, and to the enjoyment of the christian reader, that not five, nor ten, nor fifty souls only were won for him through the instrumentality of these fifty-four dear brethren, but hundreds. i received a great number of letters from these labourers in the word, both at home and abroad, which brought me heart-cheering intelligence. thank the lord for this together with me, dear christian reader, and continue to help these esteemed brethren with your prayers, some of whom labour for the lord under peculiar difficulties. i would repeat that i consider it a great privilege to be permitted to defray in part or altogether, from time funds of this institution, the expenses connected with the voyage and outfit of brethren who desire to go out as missionaries, or to help them after their arrival in their field of labour; but i do not bind myself to support them habitually, seeing that thus they would be out of the position of simple dependence upon god for their temporal supplies. . there was laid out for the circulation of tracts, from may , , to may , , the sum of l. s. ½ d.; and there were circulated within this year , tracts. the total number of tracts circulated up to may , , was one million eight hundred twenty thousand and forty. the lord is pleased to increase this part of the work more and more, as will be seen by a comparison of the years in which this part of the institution has been in operation. from nov. , , to may , , the first period that the circulation of tracts was in operation in connexion with the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, there were circulated , from may , , to july , , , ; from july , , to may , , , ; from may , , to may , , , ; from may , , to may , , , ; from may , , to may , , , ; from may , , to may , , , ; and during this period , . in these increased opportunities to spread the truth, we rejoice. moreover, we would, by the help of god, seek to labour still far more abundantly in this particular also, and would seek to press into every open door, which the lord may set before us. yea, we would labour, as has been stated before, as if everything depended upon our diligence and carefulness in the use of the means; whilst, in reality, we would not depend upon them in the least degree, but only upon god for his blessing. this blessing of god we have been enabled to seek upon the labours of missionary brethren, the circulation of time holy scriptures, and upon the distribution of tracts. as the days come, so our heart is drawn out in prayer for blessing upon these objects, in connexion with the various schools and the orphan work. how, then, could it be otherwise, but that sooner or later there should come showers of blessing? thus it was during this year. this year stands alone, in that more money came in, than during any year previously. it stands alone, in that the operations of the scriptural knowledge institution were extended beyond whatever they mad been before. but it stands alone, also, in the abundant blessing, which god granted to our efforts, and which was greater than during any previous period. and, as in other respects, so in particular likewise, the gratuitous distribution of tracts was abundantly owned of god. instance upon instance, not , nor , nor , but many, in the way of conversion, and also of blessing to believers, was i informed of by those godly brethren, who in various parts of the world, aid me in this service. how can i sufficiently magnify the lord for this! by his grace i would desire to labour on, though i were not to see one single instance of blessing, being assured that "in due season we shall reap," and that our "labour is not in vain in the lord;" yet how kind of the lord, to grant such abundant blessing to rest upon our labours! often, i fear, tract distributors have expected little result from their labour; and therefore they have seen little fruit. according to their expectation, they have received. often, also, i fear, the mere distribution of tracts has been rested in, and the work done has been estimated by the number of tracts which were circulated, without earnestly preceding their circulation with prayer, and without earnestly following them with prayer, may i, therefore, be allowed to caution my fellow-believers on these two points? look out for blessing, but seek also the blessing earnestly in prayer; and you will not fail to receive abundantly. should any believer be discouraged, because he has not had much fruit resulting from the circulation of tracts, let such a one, with renewed earnestness and prayerfulness, go on in his work; let him also expect fruit, and he will surely reap abundantly; if not now, at least in the day of christ's appearing. . at the beginning of this period, there were three hundred orphans in the new orphan-house on ashley down, bristol. during the year there were admitted into it orphans, making in all. of these , (we own it with thankfulness to god,) not one died during the year; for not a single death occurred for about months. one of the orphans, who had been received after he had long had his own way, and who having long been borne with, and repeatedly been received back again on a confession of sorrow, at last ran away again, and had then to be placed by his relatives in the union. one orphan was sent to relatives, who were by that time able to care for her. five girls were, at the expense of the establishment, fitted out for service or learning a business, and were sent out;--also six boys were, at the expense of the establishment, fitted out and apprenticed. thus makes the number removed as great as the number received, so that there were still orphans in tire new orphan-house on may , . the total number of orphans, who were under our care from april, , to may , , was five hundred and twenty-eight. i notice further the following points in connexion with the orphan work. a. without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me, the sum of , l. s. ¾ d. was given to me for the orphans, as the result of prayer to god, from the commencement of the work up to may , .--it may be also interesting to the reader to know, that the total amount given for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , amounted to , l. s. ½ d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day schools, amounted to , l. s. ¾ d.-- besides this, also a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, &c., were given for the use of the orphans. b. our labours continued to be blessed among the orphans. c. the expenses in connexion with the support of the orphans and the apprentices during this year, were , l. s. ½ d. matters connected with my own personal affairs, or the work of the lord in my hands, not immediately connected with the scriptural knowledge institution, from may , , to may , . dec. , . during this year believers have been received into fellowship. when brother craik and i began to labour in the word in bristol, we found in fellowship. since then there have been received into communion altogether , , so that the total number would be , , had there been no changes. but are under church discipline, and separated, for the present, from fellowship; have left us (some of them, however, in love, and merely through circumstances); have left bristol to reside elsewhere; and have fallen asleep. so that there are at present only actually remaining in communion. the lord has been pleased to give unto me during this year� . through believers in and out of bristol, in provisions, clothes, etc., worth to us at least . . . . . . through anonymous offerings in money, put up in paper and directed to me, and put into the boxes for the poor saints or the rent, at the chapels . ½ ----� carried forward £ ½ brought forward £ ½ . through presents in money, from believers in bristol, not given anonymously . . . . . . . through presents in money, from believers not residing in bristol . . ----�� £ ½ my brother-in-law, mr. a. n. groves, of whom mention has been made in the first part of this narrative, as having been helpful to me by his example when i began my labours in england in , in that he, without any visible support, and without being connected with any missionary society, went with his wife and children to bagdad, as a missionary, after having given up a lucrative practice of about l. per year, returned in autumn , from the east indies, a third time, being exceedingly ill. he lived, however, till may th, , when, after a most blessed testimony for the lord, he fell asleep in jesus in my house. i should more fully dwell on this to myself amid my family's deeply important event, had not a very full biography been published by the widow of my dear brother-in-law, in which also full particulars are given of the last days of this servant of christ. i therefore refer the reader to the deeply interesting memoir, which has been published at nisbet's, london, and may be had at the bible and tract warehouse of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, , park street, bristol, and through all booksellers, under the title: memoir of the late anthony norris groves, second edition, with a portrait, cloth, s. d.; fine paper, cloth, s. d. further account respecting the intended orphan-house for seven hundred children, bereaved of both parents by death, from may , , to may , . in the last chapter on this subject i stated, that, on may , , i had actually in hand, towards the accomplishment of my object, the sum of , l. s. ¼ d. i will now give some further particulars as to the manner in which it pleased the lord to supply me with means, but must confine myself to those donations which more specially may call for notice. june , . from wakefield l., with l. for mr. craik, and l. for my own personal expenses.--also l. from the west of england, of which the donor kindly wishes me to take l. for my own private expenses, and to use the l. as might be most needed. i have taken, therefore, l. for the building fund; l. for missionary operations, the circulation of bibles and tracts; and l. for the orphans. july . received l. s., which being left to me as most needed, i took l. for the current expenses for the orphans, l. for the other objects, and l. s. for the building fund. being just now in great family affliction, this kindness of the lord has been a great refreshment to my spirit. july . from clifton s.--received also l. from one who counts it an honour to have this sum to lay down at the feet of the lord jesus. i took of this amount l. for the building fund, and l. for the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, and for missionary objects. i cannot help remarking here, that the lord has used some of the most unlikely persons during the past twenty-two years, in providing me with means for his service. so it was particularly in the case of this brother in the lord, from whom i received the last-mentioned donation of l. i had not the least natural expectation of receiving this sum, when this brother, sitting before me at the new orphan-house, took out of his pocket a packet of bank notes, and gave to me this amount, reserving to himself, as his whole property in this world, a smaller sum than he gave to me, because of his joy in the lord, and because of his being able to enter into the reality of his possessions in the world to come. i delight in dwelling upon such an instance, because , it shows that there is grace, much grace, to be found among the saints even now; , it shows the variety of instrumentality which the lord is pleased to employ, in supplying me with means for his service; and , because it so manifestly proves that we do not wait upon him in vain, when we make known our requests to him for means. july . from philadelphia, in the united states, l. aug. . from the neighbourhood of mallow in ireland s. d, and s. d.--anonymously from a "brother christian and well-wisher," through his bankers in london, l. aug. . from caistor s.--from gumeracka, near adelaide, australia, l. s. from the same place s.--from cheltenham s. d.--from frampton-on-severn seven silver coins. you see, esteemed reader, how much variety there is in the kind of donations as well as in the amount, the places whence they are sent, and the friends who send them. but all these donations come from the living god. all come to us in answer to prayer, and are received by us as answers to prayer; and with every donation, however small, we receive thins a fresh encouragement, to continue in prayer, and have, as it were, another earnest from our heavenly father, that at last he not only will give larger sums, but the whole amount which is needed for the building fund. every one of these donations comes unsolicited. ever since the orphan work has been in operation, we have never asked any one for anything. be therefore, dear reader, encouraged by this, to make trial for yourself, to prove the power of prayer, if you have never done so before. dec. . this is the last day of another year. two years and a half i have new been day by day seeking the lord's help in player for this object. he has also been pleased to give us many proofs, that he is remembering our requests, still as yet i have only , l. s. ¾ d. in hand. considerably more than double this sum will be needed. but, by the grace of god, i am not discouraged. the lord is able and willing to help us. this is my comfort. in his own time the almighty god will manifest his power. in the meantime i desire to continue to wait upon him, and to receive every fresh donation, however small, as an earnest, that in his own time he not only will give larger sums, but the whole amount needed for this object. jan. , . this day i received the promise, that there should be paid to me, for the work of the lord in my hands, , l., to be disposed of as i might consider best. this large donation was shortly after paid to me, and was portioned out thus: for the building fund l.; for the support of the orphans l.; for foreign missions l.; for labourers in the word in england, ireland and scotland l.; for the gratuitous circulation of the holy scriptures among the poor l.; for the gratuitous circulation of gospel tracts l.; and for the various schools, supported or assisted by the funds of the scriptural knowledge institution, l. behold, esteemed reader, the goodness of god! behold also the recompense, which sooner or hater, the lord gives to his children, who wait upon him and trust in him often it may appear that we wait upon the lord in vain; but, in his own time god will abundantly prove, that it was not in vain. go on therefore, christian reader, to wait upon the lord. continue to make known your requests to him; but do also expect help from him. you honour god, by believing that he does hear your prayers, and that he will answer them. the joy which such answers to prayer give, cannot be described; and the impetus which they thus afford to the spiritual life is exceedingly great. the experience of this happiness i desire for all my christian readers. nor is there anything to hinder any believer from having these joys. if you believe indeed in the lord jesus for the salvation of your soul, if you walk uprightly and do not regard iniquity in your heart, if you continue to wait patiently, and believingly upon god; then answers will surely be given to your prayers. you may not be called upon to serve the lord in the way the writer does, and therefore may never have answers to prayer respecting such things as are recorded here; but in your various circumstances, as to your family, your business, your profession, your church position, your labour for the lord inn army way, you may have answers as distinct as any here recorded. should this, however, be read by any who are not believers in the lord jesus, but any who are going on in the carelessness or self-righteousness of their unrenewed hearts, then i would affectionately and solemnly beseech such, first of all to be reconciled to god by faith in the lord jesus. you are sinners. you deserve punishment. if you do not see this, ask god to show it unto you. let this now be your first and especial prayer. ask him also to enlighten you not merely concerning your state by nature, but especially to reveal the lord jesus to your hearts. god sent him, that he might bear the punishment, due to us guilty sinners. god accepts the obedience and sufferings of the lord jesus, in the room of those who depend upon him for the salvation of their souls; and the moment a sinner believes in the lord jesus, he obtains the forgiveness of all his sins. when thus he is reconciled to god, by faith in the lord jesus, and has obtained the forgiveness of his sins, he has boldness to enter into the presence of god, to make known his requests unto god; and the more he is enabled to realize, that his sins are forgiven, and that god, for christ's sake, is well pleased with those who believe on him, the more ready he will be to come with all his wants, both temporal and spiritual, to his heavenly father, that he may supply them. but as long as the consciousness of unpardoned guilt remains, so long shall we be kept at a distance from god, and especially also as it regards prayer. therefore, dear reader, if you are an unforgiven sinner, let your first and especial subject of your prayer be, that god would be pleased to reveal to your heart the lord jesus, his beloved son. march . to day it is twenty years since the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad made its beginning. when i look back upon that day, with reference to this work, i desire with gratitude to exclaim, what has god wrought! his name be magnified for it! i desire to take courage from all his former goodness, and to go on in his service. march . received l. s. d., which being left at my disposal, i took l. s. d. for the building fund, and l. for the support of the orphans.--through bethesda boxes, as a thank-offering for the mercies of the past month, s. d. april . from london, six knives, nine silver forks, three silver table spoons, three silver dessert spoons, three silver tea spoons, one silver salt spoon, a silver pencil case, three penholders, one mounted in silver and two in gold, and a penknife. may. . anonymously, through banker's in london, l.--may . through bethesda homes, s. d., as "a thank-offering to the lord for the mercies of the past month." month after month, for some time past, s. d. has been given as "a thank-offering for the mercies of the past month," i am delighted with this. not yearly only may the saints bring their offerings to the lord, as he may have prospered them, but monthly. yea the holy ghost, by the apostle paul, gives this exhortation to the believers of the church at corinth, concerning offerings for the poor saints; "upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as god hath prospered him." i cor. xvi. . as the lord had prospered them, so were they not merely yearly, or monthly, but even weekly to contribute to the support of the poor. we are strangers and pilgrims on the earth. the time of our pilgrimage here is very uncertain. the opportunities which the lord gives us for his service are therefore readily to be embraced. all here below is most uncertain. how long we may have the opportunity to work for the lord, who can tell? therefore the present hour is to be used with all our might. as an encouragement for all this, we have to look to the return of our lord jesus. may . l. s. d., being the proceeds arising from the sale of a work published in english, and s. d., from the sale of a work published in french, were given for the building fund. thus closes the period from may , , to may , . the whole income for this object during the year was , l. s. d., which, together with the , l. s. ¼ d. in hand on may , , made the total of , l. s. ¼ d. in hand on may , . i add the following remarks, with reference to the intended orphan house for orphans, which appeared in the report for , and which are here reprinted. a. during this year the current expenses, for the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, amounted to , l. s. ½ d., being l. s, d. more than during any previous year; yet the lord not only enabled me to meet them all, but to add the sum of , l. s, d. to the building fund. b. there is yet a large sum required, before i shall be enabled to build another house for orphans; nor have i now, any more than at the first, any natural prospect of obtaining what is yet needed; but my hope is in the living god. when i came to the conclusion that it was the will of god i should build another orphan house, i had not only no natural prospect of obtaining the , l. which would be needed for thus object, but also no natural prospect of being able to provide for the necessities of the orphans already under my care. three years have elapsed since then, and i have had all i needed for them, amounting to about , l., and , l. s. ¼ d. i have received for the building fund. may i not well trust in the lord, for what is yet needed for the building fund? by his grace i will do so, and delight in doing so; for i know that at last all my prayers will be turned into praises concerning this part of the service. c. there is one point which is particularly an encouragement to me, to go on waiting upon the lord for the remainder of the means, which are required, viz.: applications for the admission of orphans continue to be made. on may , , there were orphans waiting for admission. since then more have been applied for, making in all . of these, however, thirty have been admitted during the past year into the new orphan-house, and twenty-nine have been otherwise provided for, so that there are actually waiting for admission. these children are from three months old and upwards, and all bereaved of both parents by death. supplies for the school �, bible�, missionary and tract fund, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . on may , , there was left in hand for these objects a balance of l. s. ¾ d. june . when i had very little in hand, comparatively, there being about l. left, as little only had come in since may th, i received a donation of l., of which i took l. for the support of the orphans, and l. for these objects. how much is there needed, to go on with all these various objects, and to press into every open door, which the lord may set before me! how kind, therefore, of him, to have sent me this sum! july . only about l. had come in for these objects since june . but though i had not much in hand, i sent out l. on the th, three days since, for missionary objects, being assured that the sowing would bring the reaping. on the very next day, july th, i received from chelsea l. and also s. from the north of devon l. anonymously l. from norwich, for foreign missions, l. the day after that, july th, i received from the neighbourhood of leeds l., and from oakhill s. now today i received the l. s., spoken of under the building fund, of which i took for these objects l. july . today the lord has been pleased to give still more. i have received l. for the schools and l. for these various objects. sept. . during the last two days i sent out l. to brethren who labour in the word at home and abroad; and during the first half of this month have already sent to them l. during the last two days, whilst sending out almost the last pound in hand for missionary objects, i felt quite comfortable in doing so, and said to myself: "the lord can give mc more." so it has been. this morning i have received from weston super mare, in a registered letter, l. with these words: "the enclosed l. for missionaries to the heathen, from h. e. h., western super mare, sept, th." this is particularly refreshing to me, as i desired still to send out during this month about l. to other brethren. oct. . during the last six weeks little only, comparatively, has been received for these objects; but i have sent out much for missionary objects, and for the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts. thus the funds for these various objects were this morning reduced to l. s. ¼ d. yet my heart desired to send out, before the close of this month, a considerable amount to preachers of the gospel, and to spend further sums on the circulation of the holy scriptures and gospel tracts. this my desire has been in a measure already granted, for i received this morning l. s. of this sum i took l. for these objects, and the remainder for the current expenses for the orphans. the lord be magnified for this kindness! there was also much need for fresh supplies for the orphans, when this donation was received. with more than usual exercise of faith and patience have i had to wait upon god for the last four weeks, during which time the income has been very little and the outgoing very great. dec. . today i received three autographs of king william iv., one of sir robert peel, and two of lord melbourne (with six postage stamps), to be sold for the funds of the scriptural knowledge institution.--see what a variety of donations the lord sends us for the support of the work! dec. . for several years i have not been so poor for these objects, as during the last six weeks. day by day have i besought the lord for more means, and almost daily has he also sent in something; yet the income has not been adequate to help the brethren, whom i seek to assist as preachers of the word at home and abroad, in the measure i have desired. i had reason to believe, that several were in need, but i had nothing to send to them, and could only labour on in prayer, finding relief in the knowledge that god could help them irrespective of my instrumentality, and make this their trial of faith and patience a blessing to their souls, even as i have found this season profitable to myself. but now at the last the lord has refreshed my spirit exceedingly, by a donation of l., left at my disposal; of which i have taken l. for these objects, and l. for the orphans, for whom also fresh supplies were greatly needed, so much so, that we had not once been so poor since the new orphan-house was first opened. jan. , . received from an anonymous donor, through london bankers, a bank post bill for l. "for general purposes." i took of this amount one half for these various objects, and the other half for the benefit of the orphans. this donation came at a time of great need. but the lord helped me still mere bountifully; for i received also, on that day, the promise of the donation of , l., spoken of already under the building fund, and of which donation i took for these objects altogether , l. whereby i was so abundantly helped, that, with what the lord was pleased to send in besides for these objects, up to may , , i was enabled to meet all their many and heavy expenses. the following circumstance is so remarkable, that i give it at full length as an illustration of the various ways, and the remarkable manner, in which the lord is pleased, in answer to prayer, to supply me with means. on aug. th, , i received a letter, from a christian brother, accompanied by an order for l. s. d. on his bankers, of which l. s, d. were the proceeds of an orphan-box in a meeting place of believers, and l. from a poor widow, who had sold her little house, being all her property, and who had put l., the total amount she had received, into that orphan-box two months before, on june , . in this box the money remained till it was opened, and then the l., with a few lines, without name, were found in it. as, however, the fact of her intending to sell the house, and sending me the money, for the lord's work, had been known to the brother, who sent me the money, he did not feel free to send it to me, without remonstrating with her through two brethren, whom he sent with the money, offering it again to her; for he knew her to be very poor, and feared that this might be an act of excitement, and therefore be regretted afterwards. these brethren could not prevail on her to receive back the money, but they did persuade her to receive back l. of the amount, and then the brother, referred to, felt no longer free to keep the money from me, but sent me the l. on the receipt of this i wrote at once to the poor godly widow, offering her the traveling expenses for coming to bristol, that i might have personal intercourse with her; for i feared lest this should be an act of excitement, and the more so, as she had received back l. of the sum. this sister in the lord, a widow of about years of age, came to bristol, and told me in all simplicity how ten years before, in the year , she had purposed that, if ever she should come into the possession of the little house in which she lived with her husband, she would sell it, and give the proceeds to the lord. about five years afterwards her husband died, and she, having no children, nor any particular claim upon her, then sought to dispose of her little property. however one difficulty after the other prevented her being able to effect a sale. at last she felt in particular difficulty on account of her inability to pay the yearly ground rent of the house and garden, and she asked the lord to enable her to sell the property, in order that she might be able to carry out her desire, which she had had for ten years. he now helped her; the house was sold, the money paid, and she put the whole l. into the orphan box for me, being assured that the lord would direct me how best the money might be used for him.--i still questioned her again and again to find out, whether it was not excitement which had led her to act as she had done; but i not only saw that her mind had been fully decided about this act for ten years before, but that she was also able to answer from the word of god all the objections which i purposely made, in order to probe her, whether she had intelligently and from right motives acted in what she had done. at last, being fully satisfied that it was not from impulse nor under excitement that she had given the money, i stated to her something like this: "you are poor, about sixty years old, and therefore decreasing in strength, may you not therefore keep this money for yourself?" her reply was: "god has always provided for me, and i have no doubt he will do so in future also. i am able to work and to earn my bread as well as others, and am willing to work as a nurse, or in any other way." what could i say against this? this was just what a child of god would say, and should say.--but the greatest of all the difficulties about accepting the l. remained in my mind. it was this. the house had been sold for l. the whole amount had been put into the box, but, on the persuasion of the two brethren who were requested to remonstrate with this widow, she had been induced to take back l. out of the l. i therefore said to myself, might she not be willing, after a time, to take back the whole l., how therefore can i feel happy in accepting this money. on this account i particularly laid stress upon this point, and now learned the circumstances under which she had been induced to take back this l. the two brethren who had called for the purpose of pointing out the propriety of receiving back again the l., or part of it, told her that barnabas sold his land, but afterwards lived with others on that which he and others had thrown into the common stock, and that therefore she might receive at least part of the l. back again, if she would not take the whole. she then said to herself that, "as a child of god she might take the children's portion," and, as she had given to god this l., she might receive l. back again. she told me, that she considered the brethren had shown her from the holy scriptures what she might do, and therefore she had taken this l. i did not myself agree with the judgment of those brethren who had said this (as there is no evidence that barnabas ever was supported out of the common stock, the proceeds of the sale of houses and lands, out of which the poor were supported); but i purposely said nothing to the widow, lest she should at once be induced to give me this l. also. she had, however, this l. untouched, and showed it to me; and before leaving she would make me take l. of it for the benefit of the orphans, which i did not refuse, as i had no intention to keep the l. she also gave me a sixpence for the orphans, which some one had given her for herself, a few days before. i now asked her, as this matter concerning the remaining of the l. was satisfactorily explained, as far as it respected her own state of heart, what she wished me to do with the money, in case i saw it right to keep it. her reply was, that she would leave that with me, and god would direct me concerning it; but that, if she said any thing at all, she should most like it to be used for the support of brethren who labour in the word without salary, and who hazard their lives for the name of christ. she wished me to have a part of the money; but this i flatly refused, lest i should be evil spoken of in this matter. i then offered to pay her traveling expenses, as she had come to me, which she would not accept, as she did not stand in need of it. in conclusion i told her, that i would now further pray respecting this matter, and consider what to do concerning it. i then prayed with this dear godly woman, commended her to god, separated from her, and have not seen her since. i waited from aug. , , to march , , when i wrote to her, offering her back again the whole l., or a part of it. on march , , just seven months after i had received the money, amid just nine months after she had actually given it, and ten years and nine months after she had made the resolution to give her house and garden to god, i heard from her, stating that she was of the same mind as she had been for years. i, therefore, disposed of the money, to aid such foreign missionary brethren as, according to the best my knowledge resembled most the class of men whom she wished to assist. the reasons, why i have so minutely dwelt upon this circumstance, are: , if, as a steward of the bounties of the children of god, i should be blamed for receiving from a poor widow almost literally her all, it may be seen in what manner i did so. to have refused, on march , , also would be going beyond what i should be warranted to do. , i desired also to give a practical illustration, that i only desire donations in god's way. it is not the money only, i desire; but money received, in answer to prayer, in god's order. , this circumstance illustrates how god helps me often in the most unexpected manner. , i have also related this instance, as a fresh proof, that even in these last days the love of christ is of constraining power, and may work mightily, as in the days of the apostles. i have witnessed many such instances as this, during the twenty years i have been occupied in this my service. let us give thanks to god for such cases, and seek for grace rather to imitate such godly men and women than think that they are going too far. i cannot, however, dismiss this subject, without commending this poor widow to the prayers of all who love our lord jesus, that she may be kept humble, lest, thinking highly of herself, on account of what she has been enabled to do, by the grace of god, she should not only lose blessing in her own soul, but this circumstance should become a snare to her. pray also, believing reader, that she may never be allowed to regret what she has done for the lord. may . yesterday i looked over the list of the labourers in the word, whom i seek to assist, in order to see to whom it would be desirable to send help; and, having drawn out a list, with the respective amounts for each, i found that it would be desirable to send out this week l., but i wanted at least l. more, to be able to accomplish this. accordingly i gave myself to prayer, if it might please the lord to send me the means. and now, this morning, in answer to prayer, i received anonymously from bankers in london l., which the donor desired to be applied for the current expenses for the orphans, and for labourers in the gospel at home and abroad. i took therefore l. for the orphans, and l. for home and foreign labourers. by the same post i received also from the neighbourhood of shrewsbury l., the disposal of which being left to me, i took for missionary objects.--i have now the desire of my heart granted, being able to send out the full amount of what it yesterday appeared to me desirable that i should send to the brethren whom i seek to help. means for the support of the orphans, already under our care, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . at the commencement of this period, there was in hand the balance of l. s. d. this was the visible support, in the way of pecuniary means, which we had to look to for inmates in the new orphan house, whilst often two or three days might call for such an amount as this. but we hoped in god, as in former years, and, by his grace, were upheld, and our faith was not allowed to fail, though it was not a little tried, as the following pages will show. of the donations which came in between may , and june. , , i will only mention the following. on june st i received from cape town l. for the orphans, and l. for tracts. on june th i received from rhode island, united states, dollars and dollars ( l. s. d. english), when i had scarcely anything left for the orphans. observe, dear reader, from africa and from america the lord sends help to us, yea from almost all parts of the world. thus is he saying to us more and more; "only believe." on june th i received l. from a brother in the lord at a distance, as a thank-offering to god, that, having been thrown from his horse, he had not been killed, but only greatly hurt. june. . we were now very poor. not indeed in debt, nor was even all the money gone; for there was still about l. in hand; but then there needed to be bought flour, of which we buy generally sacks at a tine, stones of oatmeal, cwt. of soap, and there were many little repairs going on in the house, with a number of workmen, besides the regular current expenses of about l. per week. over and above all this, on saturday, the day before yesterday, i found that the heating apparatus needed to be repaired, which would cost in all probability l. it was therefore desirable, humanly speaking, to have l. for these heavy extra expenses, besides means for the current expenses. but i had no human prospect whatever of getting even pence, much less l. in addition to this, today was monday, when generally the income is little. but, in walking to the orphan house this morning, and praying as i went, i particularly told the lord in prayer, that on this day, though monday, he could send me much. and thus it was. i received this morning l. for the lord's service, as might be most needed.--the joy which i had cannot be described. i walked up and down in my room for a long time, tears of joy and gratitude to the lord running plentifully over my cheeks, praising and magnifying the lord for his goodness, and surrendering myself afresh, with all my heart, to him for his blessed service. i scarcely ever felt more the kindness of the lord in helping me.--i took of this money l., for the current expenses for the orphans, and l. for missionary objects, the circulation of the holy scriptures and gospel tracts, and for the various schools. of the donations which came in between june th and aug. st, amounting to more than l., i will only mention: l., through a most unexpected circumstance, from glasgow, on june th. l. from sunderland on july rd, of which l was made up, by an individual putting by one half-penny daily for the orphans, and a poor widow one penny per week. � on aug. th i received from a christian negro in demerara an old silver watch, a gold pin and brooch, and five dollars. aug. . when there was less than l. in, hand, i received today a donation of l., of which the donor kindly wished me to take l. for my own personal expenses, and to use the other for the work of the lord as most needed. i therefore took l. for the orphans, and l. for the other objects, and was thus enabled to advance today l., as usual, for the house-keeping expenses; money being called for, which, otherwise, i should not have been able to supply. of the donations received between aug. st and oct. th, amounting to about l., i only notice l. s. d. "from south africa," l. from malta, and s. d. from demerara. i will now minutely relate the lord's dealings with us, with reference to meeting the expenses for the orphans, for about three weeks, as a specimen of how the lord was pleased to help us during a period when the flour was twice as dear as for several years before, and when other expenses were much greater than usual. oct. . this afternoon i was called on to advance more house-keeping money; but as i had only about l. altogether in hand, i could only give l. this time, instead of the usual l. i had then about l. left for all the many other expenses, large and small, connected with the establishment, and which are not included in the ordinary house-keeping expenses. before the day is over, i have received this evening the following amounts through salem boxes s. by sale of reports s. d. with s. as a donation. both sums from waterford.--from a donor in bristol l.--from bayswater l. oct. . from an orphan-box in bristol s.--from warminster l. s. � from seven oaks l. s. d. this was an old debt, owed for a long time to the donor. he expressed in prayer that, if the lord would cause the money to be paid, it should be sent to me; and almost immediately afterwards it was paid.--from durham l., being a dividend on shares in gas-works.--from braunton s.--from balham hill, london, l. s., with a variety of articles to be sold for the benefit of the orphans.--by sale of reports s. oct. . from keswick s. d., s. d., s. d., and s.--by sale of reports l. s. ½ d.--by sale of some silver coins, a few tea spoons, and a few trinkets l.--by sale of reports s.--there was found in the visitor's room at the new orphan house a four-penny piece.--through the boxes in the new orphan house l. s. this afternoon was the time in the week when visitors see the establishment. it was a wet afternoon, but still above persons went over the house. being in great need of means, of which the visitors, however, could perceive nothing, as all our stores were full as usual, i asked the lord, that he would be pleased to put it into their hearts to put money into the boxes: and this sum i found in them this evening.--yesterday it was necessary to purchase ten sacks of flout, which, being just now twice as dear as darning the last years, cost l. s.; and this day it was needful to spend l. s. d. for smith's work. how kind, therefore, of the lord to have sent me today, yesterday, and the afternoon of the day before yesterday, l. s, ½ d. thus, with the l. left before, i am able to meet these two items of above l., and have about l. left. now observe how the lord further helped, when i had only five pounds left. oct. . by sale of reports s.--from west brixton s., and s. from scotland.--through a box in the new orphan house d.--by sale of a report d. oct. . "from friends of petersham" l. s. d., and from richmond s. d.--from the neighbourhood of stourbridge. l.--from wells s. � from a clergyman at weston-super-mare l.--anonymously from scotland d.--from a brother in the lord l., with two pewter plates. � from clifton s.--from hackney s. oct. . from chilton polden s., as "a thank-offering that the donor's children have not been left orphans."--from kingsbridge s. d.--from glasgow s. d.--by sale of articles and reports l. s.--from royston l. oct. . from lichfield s. d. and s. d.--from a medical gentleman in bristol l.--from clifton s. oct. . this afternoon more money was required for house-keeping. by the donations which had come in since the th, i was able to pay away l. s., and l. s., and had l. s, d. besides. this i gave to the last penny for house-keeping, and had now literally not one penny left in hand for the current expenses for the orphans. this evening i received, when i had nothing in hand: from clifton l. � from a sister in the lord in bristol s. d.--through bethesda boxes s., "from servants in scotland,"--from wiveliscombe l.-- from clifton s.--through the chapel boxes s.--a pair of silver-mounted spectacles and s. d. from clifton. nov. . by means of those little sums, which came in last evening, i was able to let the matron have further l. s. early this morning. thus we were able to meet this day's demands. there came in further today: by sale of old clothes s. d., and from launceston, by sale of reports, s. d.--there was put into the letter box at my house anonymously, s. d., with these words: "i had worked hard for this money, and could not get paid. a thought passed lately through my mind, if i ever get it, i will devote it to some charitable purpose. to my surprise, without asking for it, it is paid. i now send it for the orphans."--evening. by sale of reports s.--from spaldwick s. d. and s.--from the neighbourhood of arundel s. d. nov. . from hull s.--from knapp s.--from gosport l.--from six servants at hampton court palace, a parcel, containing a variety of articles, for the use of the orphans, or to be sold for their benefit, with s. �through the boxes in the new orphan house l. s. ½ d. given also by a visitor from cornwall s., ditto by another s., ditto by another s. d., ditto by another s.--by sale of reports s.-- i was thus further able to advance last evening for house-keeping expenses l. s. d., this morning l. s., and this evening l. s. ½ d. thus, though we are living by the day, as it respects supplies out of the hands of our heavenly father, yet we have lacked nothing! received further s. by sale of reports. nov. . from helensburgh s. and d.--from bideford s.--from islington l.--from clifton park l.--by sale of some books l. � from a donor in bristol l. from norwich s.--thus we have wherewith to meet the expenses for today and tomorrow, and, it may be, of the day after tomorrow. at all events, before this is gone, the faithful lord will send in more. nov. . by sale of old clothes s. ½ d.--from whitby l. ditto s.--from bodmin s.--by sale of rags s. d. [i transcribe from the income book. we think it right to turn every thing to account, so that nothing be wasted, and that the expenses of the institution be not needlessly increased.] nov. . from swansea s.--from willenhall s.--from bridgewater s.--from worcester s. and s.--evening, saturday. thus we have had during another week everything needed. nov. . there came in yesterday s. from stafford, and s. from worksop. � to day from kilkenny l.--when i had nothing at all in hand, having paid out the last money today, and when more would be needed this evening or tomorrow morning, i received this afternoon, from a most unexpected quarter, l. this morning the matron had between l, and l. in hand for house-keeping expenses, but, by the time i arrived at the new orphan house, it had all been expended through unexpected demands, so that she had had to add half a crown of her own. i had received, however, this morning, at the very time while i was in prayer for means, l. from kilkenny, which, with, s. ½ d. besides, in hand, i gave to her. now this afternoon came in the l., and we have thus a manifest answer to prayer. the lord be magnified.--evening. through salem boxes s. through bethesda boxes s. d. do. d. from p. s. d. nov. . from guildford l. s. nov. . by sale of reports s. d.--from clonmell s. d.--our need of means is great, very great. the lord tries our faith and patience. this afternoon, a brother and sister in the lord, from gloucestershire, called to see mc at the new orphan house, before going through the house. after a few minutes i received from the sister a sovereign, which she had been requested to bring to me for the building fund, and she gave mc from herself l. for my own personal expenses, and l. for tine building fund, and her husband gave me l. for the orphans, and l. for foreign missions. thus the lord has refreshed my spirit greatly; but i look for more, and need much more.--evening. by sale of reports s. d. by the boxes in the new orphan house l. s. ½ d. i received also this evening from walmer l., of which the donor kindly wished l. to be used for the personal expenses of my family, and the rest for missionary work and the support of the orphans. i took therefore one half for missions, and the other half for the orphans. nov. . from oakhill s.--by sale of reports s. d.--from swansea s., s., and s.--from anglesey s. and s. d.--from bath l. nov. . anonymously from banbury l. nov. . from bideford l.--from perth l. this evening, while praying for means, came a little parcel, containing ten sovereigns, from a christian lady, living not far frown the new orphan house. this was a very great refreshment to my spirit. also from clydach s. and s. nov. . further precious help. received this morning through bankers in london, an anonymous donation of l. in a bank post bill, with the words: "to be applied to general purposes; to be used as you may judge best." i took therefore the whole of this donation for the current expenses of the orphans. a most welcome and refreshing donation, the fruit of many prayers, as just now the expenses are very great, and there were no means in hand to meet them! from clifton s. d. from easton l. nov. . from melton mowbray s. by sale of reports s.--from norwich s. d. ditto s. d.--from kingsbridge two brooches--through the boxes at bethesda s.--from clevedon l.--from f. e. b. s. d. nov. . anonymously from nottingham s.--from cheltenham l.-- from the isle of wight s.--this evening i received from a christian lady a brooch set with amethysts, another brooch set with eight brilliants and six other small diamonds, and a small gold necklace. my heart was exceedingly refreshed by this donation, not only because we arc still in need of supplies on account of our heavy daily expenses just now; but also because this valuable donation consists of articles which the christian donor can spare, without the slightest inconvenience. nov. . anonymously in postages s. d.--from london l., with l. for my own expenses.--by sale of reports s.--left by a visitor from aberdeen, at the new orphan house s. through the boxes at the new orphan house l. s. ½ d.--from south brent s. d. i have thus given, minutely, the manner in which the lord was pleased, for days in succession to supply us with means for the orphans, from which the spiritual reader may easily perceive our position. thus it was with us not merely during the days of which i have now given the history, but also to a greater or less degree at other times during this year. but i refrain from giving minutely the account of every day, for the sake of brevity. the particular end, why i have been so minute, is to show that the work is now, as much as ever, a work carried on entirely in dependence upon the living god, who alone is our hope, and to whom alone we look for help, and who never has forsaken us in the hour of need. there is, however, one thing different with reference to this year, when compared with former years, and that is, that, while our trials of faith during this year were just as great as in previous years, the amount needed in former times was never so great as during this year, especially as the bread during the greater part of this year was about twice as dear as for several years before. but then, it may be said, if you have had this trial of faith, with these orphans, why do you seek to build another orphan house for more, and thus have a thousand to care for? will you not have still greater trials of faith? my reply is: , god has never failed me all the years of this my service. , i am going on as easily now, with orphans, as with , the number with which i commenced. their number is ten times as large, as it was at the first; but god has always helped me. , trials of faith were anticipated, yea were one chief end of the work, for the profit of the church of christ at large. , i had courage given me to go forward, solely in dependence upon god, being assured that he would help me; yet i waited in secret upon him for six months, before i made this my intention known, in order that i might not take a hasty step; and have never regretted having gone forward. , but it needs to be added, that the very abundance which the lord gave me at the time, when my mind was exercised about this matter, was a great confirmation to me, that i had not mistaken his mind. and even during this year, how great has been his help; for the income for the work altogether has been , l. s. ¼ d. i am therefore assured that the lord will, in his own time, not only allow me to build another orphan house, but that he will also, when he shall have been pleased to fill it, find the means to provide for these children. i give now a brief reference to some of the more remarkable donations which came in between nov. , , and may , . jan. , . received three old guinea pieces, with the following words: "the enclosed has been too long held in reserve, as an esteemed memento from a dear departed parent (for which may the lord grant a pardon). a conviction of its wrong overpowers the natural desire, of its being retained, and not expended to the glory of god: for which purpose it is now sent to dear mr. müller, as a new year offering, to be used in the way he thinks most conducive to the same,"--in this instance i had a double answer to prayer; for we were not only much in need of means, when the donation came in, but i had also again and again asked the lord to incline the hearts of his dear children to send me their jewellery, their old gold and silver coins, and other valuable, but needless, articles, to be turned into money for the work of the lord. jan. . memorable day. today, in much need, was received from glasgow l., with l. for mr. craik, and l. for my own personal expenses. � there came in also, a bank post bill for l., anonymously, through london bankers, which amount was taken half for the orphans and half for the other objects.--likewise from stroud s.--from reading s. d.--from gloucester s. d.--but the lord over and above all this, allowed me to have this day the promise of that large donation which has been spoken of under the building fund, of which l. was taken towards the support of the orphans, by which, together with , l. s. ½ d. which came in for the support of the orphans from jan. up to may , , we were helped to the close of this period. march . there was left to me, for the benefit of the orphans, a year ago, by an individual in bristol, whom i had never seen, a legacy of l., which was paid this day, less l. legacy duty. april . this morning i received from an anonymous donor, through bankers in london, a bank post bill for l., the application of which was left to me. i took the whole of it for the support of the orphans. this donation has been a great spiritual refreshment to me, as the expenses for the orphans are now so very great, and as for five weeks no large sums have come in. april . received l., of which the donor kindly wished me to take l. for my own personal expenses, and to use the rest as might be most needed for the lord's work in my hands. i took, therefore, l. for the current expenses for the orphans, and l. for the other objects. � this donation has greatly refreshed my spirit, as the expenses for the orphans were never so great at any period, since the work commenced, as during the last six mouths, on account of the high price of provisions; and as the income, compared with the expenses, has been small of late, though considerable, were not the expenses so very great. may . this morning i have received l., of which i have taken for the current expenses for the orphans l., and for the other objects l.--tomorrow i shall have to pay out for the orphans l. s. the total amount i had in hand for them, before this donation was received, was only l. how kind, therefore, of the lord to replenish our means again, before they were almost entirely exhausted!--i received, also, this morning from clifton l. during the following days there came in further l. altogether for the support of the orphans. miscellaneous points respecting the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, with reference to the period from may , , to may , . . during this year day schools, with children, were entirely supported by the funds of the institution. further, one sunday school in bristol, with children, was entirely supported, and three others in devonshire, somersetshire, and gloucestershire, with children, were assisted. lastly, one adult school, with adult scholars, was entirely supported. the total amount which was spent during this year, in connexion with these schools, was l. s. ½ d.--the number of all the children, who were under our care, merely in the schools which were entirely supported by this institution, from march , , to may , , was , in the day schools, and , in the sunday schools, and , persons in the adult school. . during this year was expended on the circulation of the holy scriptures, of the funds of the institution, l. s. d. there were circulated during this year bibles and new testaments; and from the commencement of the work up to may , , twelve thousand three hundred and sixty-six bibles, and seven thousand three hundred and forty-nine new testaments. . during this year there was spent of the funds of the institution for missionary objects the sum of , l. s. ½ d. by this sum, fifty-six labourers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, were to a greater or less degree assisted. during this year, the lord was pleased to bless again abundantly the labours of many of those servants of christ, who were assisted through the funds of this institution, and this has been the case in foreign countries as well as at home. . there was laid out for the circulation of tracts, from may , , to may , , the sum of l. s. ½ d.; and there were circulated , tracts. the total number of all time tracts circulated from the beginning up to may , , was two millions six hundred and eighty-nine thousand six hundred and seventy-six. we desire to be grateful to the lord, that, during no period previously we were enabled to circulate more tracts, and more copies of the holy scriptures, and aid to a greater degree missionary labours, than during this period; yet we would not rest in that. it is the blessing of the lord upon our labours which we need, which we desire, and which, by his grace, we also seek. if never so many millions of tracts, yea even copies of the holy scriptures, were circulated, and the lord did not give his blessing, all these efforts would produce no results to the glory of his name. yea, if even tens of thousands of preachers of the gospel could be supported with means, in the darkest places of the earth, and they enjoyed not the blessing of the lord upon their labours, they would labour in vain. for this blessing god will be asked, in order that he may bestow it; but, when it is sought at his hands, he delights in giving it. by god's help we were enabled to seek this blessing, and we obtained again precious answers to our prayers, during this year. it is not merely that the lord was pleased to give us answers to our prayers with regard to means for carrying on the work; but also in that the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution were abundantly blessed to the conversion of very many souls; and this was particularly also the case again with reference to the circulation of tracts. if any of the christian readers are in the habit of circulating tracts, and yet have never seen fruit, may i suggest to them the following hints for their prayerful consideration. , seek for such a state of heart, through prayer and meditation on the holy scriptures, as that you are willing to let god have all the honour, if any good is accomplished by your service. if you desire for yourself the honour, yea, though it were in part only, you oblige the lord, so to speak, to put you as yet aside as a vessel not meet for the master's use. one of the greatest qualifications for usefulness in the service of the lord is a heart, truly desirous of getting honour for him. , precede all your labours with earnest, diligent prayer; go to them in a prayerful spirit; and follow them by prayer. do not rest on the number of tracts you have given. a million of tracts may not be the means of converting one single soul; and yet how great, beyond calculation, may be the blessing which results from one single tract. thus it is also with regard to the circulation of the holy scriptures, and the ministry of the word itself. expect, then, everything from the blessing of the lord, and nothing at all from your own exertions. , and yet, at the same time, labour, press into every open door, be instant in season and out of season, as if everything depended upon your labours. this, as has been stated before, is one of the great secrets in connexion with successful service for the lord; to work, as if everything depended upon our diligence, and yet not to rest in the least upon our exertions, but upon the blessing of the lord. , this blessing of the lord, however, should not merely be sought in prayer, but should also be expected, looked for, continually looked for; and the result will be, that we shall surely have it. , but suppose, that, for the trial of our faith, this blessing were for a long time withheld from our sight; or suppose even that we should have to fall asleep, before we see much good resulting from our labours; yet will they, if carried on in such a way and spirit as has been stated, be at last abundantly owned, and we shall have a much harvest in the day of christ. now, dear christian reader, if you have not seen much blessing resulting from your labours, or perhaps none at all, consider prayerfully these hints, which are affectionately given by one who has now for about thirty years [in ] in some measure sought to serve the lord, and who has found the blessedness, of what he has suggested, in some measure in his own experience. . at the beginning of this period, there were three hundred orphans in the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol. during the year there were admitted into it orphans; making in all. of these , four died, three were received back again by their relatives, who by that time were able to provide for them, boys were, at the expense of the establishment, fitted out and apprenticed, and eight girls were fitted out and sent to situations, at the expense of the establishment; so that there were only orphans in the house at the close of the period. the total number of orphans, who were under our care from april, , to may , , was five hundred and fifty eight. i notice further the following points in connexion with the new orphan house. a. the expenses during this year, for the support of the orphans, were , l. s. ½ d. b. without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me, the sum of , l. s. ¼ d. was given to me for the orphans as the result of prayer to god from the commencement of the work up to may , .--it may be also interesting to the reader to know that the total amount given for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , was , l. s ¼ d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day schools, from the commencement up to may , , amounted to , l. s. ¾ d.--besides this, also, a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, &c., were given for the use of the orphans. c. our labours continued to be blessed among the orphans. we saw also again fruit of our labours, during this year, with regard to orphans who formerly were under our care. matters connected with my own personal affairs, from may , , to may , . in july it pleased the lord to try my faith in a way in which before it had not been tried. my beloved daughter, an only child, and a believer since the commencement of the year , was taken ill on june th. this illness, at first a low fever, turned to typhus. on july rd there seemed no hope of her recovery. now was the trial of faith. but faith triumphed. my beloved wife and i were enabled to give her up into the hands of the lord. he sustained us both exceedingly. but i will only speak about myself. though my only and beloved child was brought near the grave, yet was my soul inn perfect peace, satisfied with the will of my heavenly father, being assured that he would only do that for her and her parents, which in the end would be the best. she continued very ill till about july th, when restoration began. on aug. th she was so far restored, that she could be removed to clevedon for change of air, though exceedingly weak. it was then days mince she was first taken ill. while i was in this affliction, this great affliction, besides being at peace, so far as the lord's dispensation was concerned, i also felt perfectly at peace with regard to the cause of the affliction. when in august the hand of the lord was heavily laid on me in my family, as related in the first part of this narrative, i had not the least hesitation in knowing, that it was the father's rod, applied in infinite wisdom and love, for the restoration of my soul from a state of lukewarmness. at this time, however, i had no such feeling. conscious as i was of manifold weaknesses, failings, and shortcomings, so that i too would be ready to say with the apostle paul, "o wretched man that i am;" yet i was assured that this affliction was not upon me in the way of the fatherly rod, but for the trial of my faith. persons often have, no doubt, the idea respecting me, that all my trials of faith regard matters connected with money, though the reverse has been stated by me very frequently; now, however, the lord would try my faith concerning one of my dearest earthly treasures, yea, next to my beloved wife, the dearest of all my earthly possessions. parents know what an only child, a beloved child is, and what to believing parents an only child, a believing child must be. well, the father in heaven said, as it were, by this his dispensation, art thou willing to give up this child to me? my heart responded, as it seems good to thee my heavenly father. thy will be done. but as our hearts were made willing to give back our beloved child to him who had given her to us, so he was ready to leave her to us, and she lived. "delight thyself also in the lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." psalm xxxvii. . the desires of my heart were, to retain the beloved daughter, if it were the will of god; the means to retain her were, to be satisfied with the will of the lord. of all the trials of faith that as yet i have had to pass through, this was the greatest; amid by god's abundant mercy, i own it to his praise, i was enabled to delight myself in the will of god; for i felt perfectly sure, that, if the lord took this beloved daughter, it would be best for her parents, best for herself, and more for the glory of god than if she lived: this better part i was satisfied with; and thus my heart had peace, perfect peace, and i had not a moment's anxiety. thus would it be under all circumstances, however painful, were the believer exercising faith. dec. , . during this year the lord was pleased to give me . by anonymous donations through the boxes ... ... ... ... £ ½ . through donations from believers in bristol, not anonymously . . . . . . . . through donations from believers not residing in bristol ... ... . through presents in clothes, provisions, &c., worth at least ... ... ---- £ ½ ----�� further account respecting the intended orphan i-louse for seven hundred poor orphans, bereaved of both parents by death, from may , , to may , . on may , , i had actually in hand for this intended orphan house, as has been stated in the last chapter on this subject, , l. s. ¼ d. i will now relate further, how the lord was pleased to supply me with means, but can only refer, for the sake of brevity, to a few instances out of many. the receipts of the first month of this year, however, shall be given entirely, as a specimen. may , . through salem chapel boxes d. may . from finchdean l. june . through the boxes at bethesda chapel l.--ditto from p. and m. e. s.--from london s. d. june . a gold dollar piece and nearly two pennyweights of californian gold dust. june . through bethesda chapel boxes s. d. as a thank-offering to the lord for the mercies of the past month.--through salem chapel boxes s.--ditto d.--from p. s. june . anonymously through london bankers l.--through the boxes at the new orphan house s. june. . from e. s. d.--anonymously s. june. . through bethesda boxes s.--ditto s.--ditto l.-- through salem boxes d. june . through the boxes at the new orphan house s.--ditto ¼ d. june . by sale of articles s. d. june . s.-- s. june- . s. june . a muslin cap, a cape, some worked trimming, and two bags, to be sold for the building fund. june . from glasgow s. d.--from k. c. s. june . anonymously s. d.--through salem boxes d.--from p. s. these were but little sums, esteemed reader, in comparison with the total amount required for the accommodation of more orphans; yea, they were even small in comparison with what was still required, though i had then nearly , l. in hand. but as it had been given to me, by god's grace, to expect help from him, yea, the full help needed for this object, so the additional income of a few pounds, of a few shillings, yea of a penny or two, was an encouragement to me for further waiting upon him, as every donation, the smallest even, brings me nearer the time when all my prayers concerning this object also shall be turned into praises. july . a large gold brooch, set with two carbuncles, to be sold for the building fund. july . anonymously through london bankers l.--from bury s. july . a silver tea pot. sept. . from one of the former orphans, now in service, s.--from the orphan girls, now under our care, s. for the building fund.-- from the house girls, i.e. the elder female orphans, who are more particularly engaged in doing household work, for the purpose of being thus trained for situations, i received likewise s.--from the infant orphans was also received for the building fund today, s. d.; and from the orphan boys s, ½ d.--oct. . from two little factory girls s. d. oct. . from halifax in nova scotia l. nov. . from the neighbourhood of wheatley l. dec. . from various believers at hull l. s. dee. . from orleans, in france, five francs. thus ended the year . only l. s. d. altogether had come in for the building fund from may up to the end of the year. my faith and patience were therefore tried; but, while they were tried, they were, by god's grace, sustained. day by day i had been enabled from may to dec. , , as well as during the three years previously, to bring this object before the lord in player; and day by day, by god's grace, my heart had been fully assured, without wavering, that he, in his own time, would not only give larger sums, but the whole amount required. i desired only his honour in the building of premises for more destitute orphans, bereaved of both parents; and as god, who cares infinitely more for poor orphans than i do, did not consider the time to have come for the building of another house, i might well be quiet. my heart longed indeed to begin to build; for there were not only orphans waiting for admission, when the last report was published but there had been application made for more since then, so that on dec. , , were waiting for admission, as only could be received of the total number of , no more vacancies having occurred. but though it was so, i judged it was the will of god, that, by patiently waiting his own time, i should glorify him.--i now proceed to relate how the lord further dealt with me. jan. , . s. d.--from an orphan s., ditto s.--from manchester s.--from three children in ireland s.--anonymously from culworth l.--from p. s. d. jan. . on this day i received from several christian friends the promise, that , l. should be paid to me for the work of the lord in which i am engaged.--this donation was paid to me, in different installments, by the middle of april. i took of this sum, for the building fund , l., for the support of the orphans l., for missionary objects , l., for the circulation of the holy scriptures l., for the circulation of tracts l., and for the various day schools, sunday schools, and the adult school l. thus the lord is hastening on the time when the building may be commenced. his name be magnified! how refreshing this help was, and how seasonable with regard to all the various objects, can scarcely be described. the lord may allow us, to have our faith and patience tried; but if we are enabled to continue to look to him, and to trust in him alone, a rich recompense will result from doing so. jan. . from a distance of several hundred miles l. s, with a letter containing the following paragraph: for the last six months, we (i.e. the donor and his wife) have laboured in prayer for the different departments of the scriptural knowledge institution, and especially that our heavenly father would be pleased this year largely to increase the building fund, and let the work proceed. two months ago, while continuing in prayer, it was laid upon our minds, that we should set apart, whatever monies the lord might send us between that time and the new year. the sum contained in the order is what the lord has given us and we rejoice in being able to send it." what various ways has the lord to help us! the donor of the l. s. is a brother who serves the lord in the ministry of the gospel among very poor and wretched persons, whilst he labours in dependence upon him for his temporal supplies. he has been greatly encouraged by the accounts of the lord's dealings with the scriptural knowledge institution; and now he is a fellow-helper in prayer, and, as this instance shows, also in contributing out of that which the lord gives to him as the fruit of prayer. this donation greatly refreshed my spirit; for it is so manifest a proof that the lord is mindful of this work, that he surely, in his own time, will provide for the accommodation of more orphans, and that thus this dear donor's prayers, and our prayers, will be turned into praises. feb. . from london l., of which the donor kindly wished me to keep l. for my family expenses, and to lay out the l. for the lord's work, as i might think best. i took therefore l for the building fund, l. for the support of the orphans, and l. for the other objects. feb. . received l. s. d., of which the donor kindly wished me to take l. for my own expenses, and the rest to be used as might be most needed for the lord's work. i took therefore l. s. d. for the building fund, l. for the support of the orphans and l. for the other objects. march . from one of the orphans, formerly for many years under our care, but now in service, s., with the following letter: "dear sir,--will you graciously accept this mite from one who thinks of you and yours with gratitude. it is indeed a very small sum. i regret that i have no more to bestow upon such a noble work. it will perhaps put a corner stone in the wall of the intended orphan house. i think i should like to labour for the lord in that blessed house, if it is his own will, and be the means in the lord's hand of bringing many of the dear orphans to know the truth as it is in jesus. it was in the orphan house in wilson street, , that first the light of life dawned upon my benighted soul. it was there, that i first learned to call god my father. i have need therefore to love the orphan house, not only as concerning temporal things, but especially as its being my spiritual birth-place. may the lord reward you, dear sir, for all you have done for me. i am sure he will. "i am, dear sir, yours most respectfully, "* * * * * * * *" i have at full length inserted this letter out of very many of that kind, received during the past twenty years, that i have been engaged in the orphan work, for many of the orphans who have been with us since. april , , have not only been fitted for this life, through being under our care, but have been manifestly brought to the knowledge of the lord. april . l., with l. for the labourers in the gospel. may . from clifton l., with l. for missions.--may . by the sale of a publication l. s. ½ d.--to the sums received during this year is to be added l. s. d., received for interest. thus ends the period from may , , to may , . the amount which came in during this year for the building fund, together with the , l. s. ¼ d. in. hand on may , , make the total of , l. s. ¼ d. in hand on may , . in. addition to what has been stated relative to the income for the building fund during this year, i furnish the reader with the following particulars respecting the building for orphans, reprinted from the report for . when i had received the kind information, in january , respecting the donation of l., which should be paid to me by several christian friends, of which i was at liberty to take such portion for the building fund as i might deem desirable, i judged that, though i had not such an amount of means in hand as i considered necessary before being warranted to begin to build, yet that i might make inquiries respecting land. accordingly, i applied in the beginning of february for the purchase of two fields which join the land on which the new orphan-house is built. on these two fields i had had my eye for years, and had purposed to endeavour to purchase them, whenever i might be in such a position as to means for the building fund, that it would be suitable to do so. i found, however, that, according to the will of the late owner of these fields, they could not be sold now. thus my prospects were blighted. when i obtained this information, though naturally tried by it and disappointed, i said, by god's grace, to myself: "the lord has something better to give me, instead of these two fields;" and thus my heart was kept in peace. but when now the matter was fully decided that i could not obtain those fields, which had appeared to me so desirable for the object, the question arose, what i was to do for the obtaining of land. under these circumstances some of my christian friends again asked, as they had done before, why i did not build on the ground which we have around the new orphan-house? my reply was, as before, that it could not be done:-- . because it would throw the new orphan-house for nearly two years into disorder on account of the building going on round about it. . there would not be sufficient room without shutting in the present house to a great extent. . that, as the new orphan-house stands in the centre of our ground, there would not be sufficient room on any of the sides for the erection of a building so large as would be required.--i was, however, led to consider whether there was any way whereby we could accomplish the building on the ground belonging to the new orphan-house. in doing so, i found that-- . by having a high temporary boundary made of old boards, the building ground could be entirely distinct from the present establishment. . by building on an entirely different plan from that of the present house, we should not only have room enough; but that also, . the present house would not be so enclosed that the health of the inmates of the establishment would thereby be injured. but there was in connexion with this another point, which now came under consideration in addition to the particulars already mentioned: it was this. though for four years past i had never had a doubt as to its being the will of god that i should build accommodation for more orphans; yet, at the same time, i had for a long time seen the desirableness of having two houses, instead of one, for the orphans. this previously formed judgment of having two houses for orphans in each, or in the one, and in the other, led me now to see whether there could be another house built on each side of the present new orphan-house, and i judged, from measuring the ground, that there was no objection to this plan. i then called in the aid of architects, to survey the ground, and to make a rough plan of two houses, one on each side, and it was found that it could be accomplished. having arrived thus far, i soon saw, that we should not only save expense by this plan in various ways, but especially that thus the direction, and inspection of the whole establishment would be much more easy and simple, as the buildings would be so near together. this, indeed, on being further considered, soon appeared to be a matter of such importance, that, even if land could be had but a quarter of a mile off, the difficulties would be greatly increased thereby. at the same time i found, that we still should retain so much land for cultivation by the spade, as would furnish some out-door employment for many boys, and would produce such vegetables as are the most important for young children, to have fresh out of the ground; or that we could easily rent a piece of ground near for that purpose, though it could not be bought. the result, then, at which i have arrived at present is this, that, having seen what could be accomplished on the ground which we have already, i decided to build, without any further delay than was necessary for preparing the plans, at the south side of the new orphan-house, another house for children. the plans are now ready, and in a very short time, god willing, i.e. as soon as all tine necessary preliminary arrangements can be made, the building will commence, which i think will be in the early part of july of the present year, (i.e. ). indeed, the first actual steps are already taken, since, on may th, the sinking of four wells for the new house was commenced. this house is intended for female orphans, bereaved of both parents, from their earliest days, until they can be placed out in service. with regard to the other house for orphans, to be built at the north side of the new orphan-house, nothing definitively can be stated at present. there is enough money in hand to build, fit up, and furnish the house for orphans, and it is expected that something will be left; but there is not sufficient money in hand, at present, to warrant commencing the building of both. as soon, however, as there is, i shall be delighted to take active measures with regard to that for orphans also. i do not ask persons to help me with their means. i speak to the lord about my need in prayer, and i do not wait upon him in vain. at the same time i feel it right to state, that there is a loud and an abundant call for caring for destitute orphans. on may , , there were waiting for admission, each bereaved of both parents by death. since then more have been applied for, making in all . of these i have been able to receive only during the past year, and who were waiting for admission have been otherwise provided for, or have died since application was made for them; so that still orphans are waiting for admission, from three months old and upward. but this number, i state unhesitatingly, would be much larger, had not very many persons refrained from making application, because they judged it would be of no use, as there are already so many waiting for admission. indeed there is every reason to believe, that there are many tens of thousands of destitute orphans in this country. and what provision is there in the way of orphan establishments, it may be asked? at the last census in , there were in england and wales orphan establishments, and the total number of orphans provided for through them, amounted only to ; but at the time the new orphan-house was being built, there were about young orphans in the prisons of england. to prevent their going to prison, to prevent their being brought up in sin and vice, yea, to be the honoured instrument to win their souls for god, i desire, by his help, to enlarge the present establishment, so as to be able to receive orphans; and individuals who purpose not to live for time but for eternity, and look on their means as in the light of eternity, will thus have an opportunity of helping me to care for these children. it is a great honour to be allowed to do anything for the lord. we can only give to him of his own; for all we have is his. when the day of recompense comes, the regret will only be, that we have done so little for him, not that we have done too much. supplies for the school �, bible ��, missionary �, and tract fund, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . on may , , when the accounts were closed, there was in hand l. s. for these objects. i now mention a few of the instances in which the lord, in answer to prayer, supplied us with means. july , . as only about l. had come in for these objects during the past five weeks, all our means were now expended. i desired to help brethren who labour in the word, but was unable to do so, when i received today l. from london, which, being left to my disposal, i took half of it for these objects, and half for the support of the orphans. july . further, from the north of devon l. july . day by day i have been waiting upon the lord for means for home and foreign labourers in the gospel, for whom i had no means, though greatly desiring to send them help. today i received, as the fruit of many prayers, from london the sum of l., of which i took l. for the orphans, and l. for these objects. it was the more remarkable that this donor should have sent me help at this time, as i had received l. from him on the first day of this month. about this time i received several other donations for missions. on july th i received a small plate-chest, containing table spoons, dessert spoons, tea spoons, gravy spoons, sauce ladles, forks, salt cellars, salt spoons, a pepper box, a pair of sugar tongs, a wine funnel, a cream jug, a small salver, a small goblet, a larger ditto, fish knife, and a coffee pot, all of silver, pairs of plated nut crackers, a plated salver and a pewter can. the donor, who desires to be his own executor, wished me to sell these articles, keep l. for myself, and to use the rest for missionary objects. the contents of the box realized l. s. d., and i was thus enabled on august , , to send l. to seven brethren labouring in british guiana; and about ten weeks afterwards i heard that the lord had sent them this help at a time of great need.--on july th from kendal l. for missions.--on july th from a visitor at clifton l. for missions.--from bath s.--from hackney s.--from brosely s. d.--july . from whitehaven l. s. d. for missions.--july . from uppingham s. d.--august . l from a distance, of which l. was for missions.--august . from c. w. l. for missions. i had thus the joy of being able to send assistance to some of the brethren whom i desire to help as labourers in the gospel at home or abroad; yet all this was little in comparison with what i desired to do. for several months, during this period, that is in june, july, august and september, up to october th, i was day by day waiting upon the lord for means for labourers in the word, as i had reason to believe that many of them were in need; but little only, comparatively, came in. i was able to send up to october l th not more than about one half of what i had been able to send them for several years previously. my desire to help these dear brethren was as great as ever. my earnestness in prayer for them, by god's grace, had not decreased. their need, i had full reason to believe (and in some instances i knew) was great. i could, therefore, only conclude that the lord allowed these dear brethren thus to have their faith tried, in order that they might the better become acquainted with himself. at last, however, the lord refreshed my spirit greatly, first on october th, and then especially by that large donation at the commencement of the year , of which i took a considerable portion for missionary objects, so that, especially during the last five months of this period, i was able to send help to brethren who labour in the gospel to such an extent, as that about the same amount was disbursed for that object as for several years previously, but a greater amount for the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts than formerly. of the donations for these objects between aug. and oct. , , i only mention the following--on sept. st, anonymously from exmonth, a bank post bill for l., of which the donor designed l. to be applied to the missionary fund, l. for the orphans, and l. where most needed, or for my own necessities, as a thank-offering for unmerited mercies. this latter l., left for my disposal, i took for the circulation of the holy scriptures and gospel tracts. i wrote in my journal concerning this donation: "a precious answer to prayer! great, great is the need."--on sept. rd a deeply-afflicted mother left at my disposal l. i took it for missionary objects, the circulation of the holy scriptures and gospel tracts; for which objects much then was needed. almost all the tracts for gratuitous circulation were gone, and many brethren who labour in the word i desired to help, but had not the means.--sept. . from kensington l., which was taken for the circulation of tracts and missions, as the disposal of it was left with me.--from worcestershire l. s. d., being the balance of an account. it was taken for missions and the circulation of gospel tracts. a most seasonable help!--sept. . "from two of god's children who can say, �our hearts trusted in him, and we are helped,'" psalm xxviii. , l. for missions, l. for the orphans, with l. for myself.--sept. . this morning, at our usual prayer meeting with my fellow-labourers, the need of brethren, who labour in the word, was again especially brought before the lord, as i had reason to believe many were in need, and i had nothing to send them. this evening i received from shropshire gold chains, a diamond brooch, and a topaz brooch, with the request of the donor to sell them for the benefit of brethren who labour in the word. this donation has greatly refreshed my spirit, but i look out for more, far more.--oct. . from e. b. l. for missions.--from a missionary box at stroud l. s. d.--oct. . from a distance l. for brethren who labour in the gospel at home and abroad, l. for the orphans, and l. for my own expenses. precious answer to prayer. great, great is the need for labourers in the word. i had, therefore, particularly again waited upon the lord yesterday, together with my fellow-labourers, for this object.--from b. s. l. for missions.-- oct. . from austin friars, london, l.--oct. . from philadelphia l. from cotham lane l.--oct. . s. d.--from weymouth was received l., the disposal of which was left to me. having just sent out, to the last pound, l. to demerara, i took it for missionary objects. oct. . this morning at family prayer, came, in the course of reading, exodus v, which shows, that, just before the deliverance of the israelites out of egypt, their trials were greater than ever. they had not only to make the same number of bricks as before, but also to gather stubble, as no straw was given them any longer. this led me, in expounding the portion, to observe, that even now the children of god are often in greater trial than ever, just before help and deliverance comes. immediately after family prayer it was found, that by the morning's post not one penny had come in for the work of the lord in which i am engaged, though we needed much, and though but very little had come in during the three previous days. thus i had now to remember exodus v, and to practise the truths contained therein. in the course of the day nothing was received. in the evening i had, as usual, a season for prayer with my dear wife, respecting the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, and then we left the new orphan house for our home. when we arrived at our house, about nine o'clock, we found that l. and also s. had been sent from norwich in two post office orders for the building fund, and that l. s. d. had been sent in for bibles, tracts and reports, which had been sold. this called for thanksgiving. but a little later, between nine and ten o'clock, a christian gentleman called and gave me l. for the orphans and l. for foreign missions. he had received these sums from an aged christian woman, whose savings as a servant, during her whole life, made up the l., and who, having recently had left to her a little annual income of about l., felt herself constrained, by the love of christ, to send the savings of her whole life for foreign missions. this gentleman stated to me at the same time, that she had never had more than l. or l. wages a year, during her whole life. moreover, out of this she has sent me, year by year, l. or more for the benefit of the orphans, for many years; though i never knew her circumstances till now, as she resides at a distance, and i have never seen her. what various ways has the lord to supply us with means! i add the following remarks: , for several months past no donation as large as l. has been received, a circumstance which has not occurred for about ten years past. , now an aged servant is used by the lord to send this donation as the fruit of her earnings, from about fifty years' service. , our especial prayer had been again and again, that the lord would be pleased to send in means for missionary brethren, as i had reason to believe they were in much need of help; and only at eight o'clock this evening i had particularly besought the lord to send help for this object. by the last mail i had sent off l. to british guiana, to help seven brethren there in some measure. this amount took the last pound in hand for this object. how gladly would i have sent assistance to other brethren also, but i had no more. now i am in some degree supplied for this object. , very recently our tracts for gratuitous circulation were almost entirely gone; but, before they were quite exhausted, the lord sent more means, so that about , could be ordered. oct. received l. s., the disposal of which was left with me. i took of it l. for the support of the orphans, for whom i had not l. in hand, when it came, and the remainder for these objects, for which still much is needed, in order to help labourers in the gospel at home, as well as foreign labourers, and in order to go on with the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, and to meet the expenses for the various schools. this morning i had also the promise, that in about a month l. should be paid to me for the work of the lord. thus, after a season of several months, during which scarcely any large sums have been received, the lord is pleased, in answer to many prayers, to cause the streams of his bounty to flow again more abundantly. oct. . from a visitor at clifton l., which i took for the school, bible, missionary, and tract objects. nov. . in great need there came in l., which was left to my appropriation as it might be most required. i took, therefore, l. for the orphans, for whom there was scarcely anything in hand, and l. for these objects, for which we needed much in every way. dec. . received l., when in the greatest need for these objects, and for the support of the orphans. i took one-half for these objects, and the other for the orphans, and am thus again helped, in answer to many prayers. jan. , . as the year closed with mercies, so another has commenced with mercies. i received from one engaged in the work l. for missions. � from m. e. for missions s.--from e. . s.--from m. a. e. s. d.--from b. s. l. for missions.--also l. for the support of the day schools. jan. . from a few believers in huntingdonshire s. d. for missions. jan. . from two christian ladies in london l. for missions, with l. for the orphans. thus we were helped till i received on jan. th the promise of the donation of , l., of which, as has been stated, , l. was taken for these objects. this, with what came in besides, from jan. , to may , , enabled me so amply to meet every demand afterwards, that no further difficulty was experienced during this period, in the way of means. means for the support of the orphans, a/ready under our care, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . at the beginning of this period there was in hand a balance of l. s. ½ d. to the poorer class of readers this might appear a considerable sum; but to such we would say, that often the expenses of three or four days are more than this for the orphan establishment, with which persons are connected; and, certainly, the average expenses, even if no extraordinary demands were to be met, amount to about twelve pounds per day in these dear times; and therefore l. would only be enough for about ten days. we had then, so far as regarded visible/e support, only enough for about ten days; but whilst we had so little as to visible support, we looked by faith to him who is invisible, the living god, who has upheld this work for so many years. we believed that he would help us still; and we were not confounded, though our faith was again and again tried. i can, however, give only a few out of the many instances which might be recorded. june , . though this is only the third week since the new period commenced, yet as only about l. had come in for the support of the orphans, in addition to the balance of l. s. ½ d., we were today reduced to less than five pounds. this had led to much waiting upon the lord: and again he gave a gracious answer to prayer. i received l. s. d., which, being left to my disposal, i took the whole for the support of the orphans. also from two little girls was sent to me s., with the information that one of their sisters had set apart a swarm of bees, the honey of which should be sold for the benefit of the orphans. thus the lord has again helped in the hour of need. july . our means were now again reduced to about l., as only about l. had come in since june . in addition to this, we had very heavy expenses before us. this morning, in reading through the book of proverbs, when i came to chapter xxii. � "that thy trust maybe in the lord," &c., i said in prayer to him: "lord, i do trust in thee; but wilt thou now be pleased to help me; for i am in need of means for the current expenses of all the various objects of the institution." by the first delivery of letters i received an order on a london bank for l., to be used for all the various objects, "as the present need might require." i took, therefore, l. for the support of the orphans, and l. for the other objects, which are also in great need. received also from wandsworth road l. s. d.; and in the course of the day l. s. d., through the boxes at the new orphan house. thus we are again helped for the present. july . for some time past i have been under an engagement to leave bristol at the end of this month, or in the beginning of august, for about four weeks, to labour at sunderland. on this account i have besought the lord during the last days that he would be pleased to send me some means for my own expenses, but especially that i might be able to leave some money behind, to last at least for some time. yesterday the lord was pleased to begin answering my request, in sending means for the support of the orphans. i received from lymington l.--from tregenda s.--from thetford s.--from perth l.--from kilmarnock l.--by sale of reports s. d.--proceeds of an orphan box l. s. ½ d. today i have received from south brent s. � from middlesex l.--ditto s.--from clifton l.--from dudbridge s.--through the boxes in the new orphan house l. s. d. � by sale of reports l. s.--returned on paying an account s. d. � from a visitor at clifton l. and a gold chain. the donor kindly wished me to retain l. for my own expenses.--from kingsbridge s. thus the lord began to answer prayer; but i expected more, and he sent me more on the following days. i record the income for the orphans:-- july . from homerton l. s.--anonymously from birmingham s.-- anonymously left at my house l. july . from bideford s.--by sale of reports s.--from tavistock s. d.--in a box from tavistock, containing specimens of ores, &c. s. july . from wotton-under-edge s.--by sale of reports s.--from west brixton l.--from the isle of wight s. d. and s. d.--by sale of reports s.--from chippenham l. s.--from college green, bristol, s. july . from bodmin s. and s.--from clifton s. ditto s. ditto l. ditto l. july . from dudley l. . d. ditto s. d.--from clifton s.-- with james i. l. s. d.--from p. s. d.--through salem boxes s. ditto d.--from stourbridge s. d.--from hastings l. s. � from h. b. esq. l. july . from wells s.-- s.-- s. d.--from kendal l.-- from london l. july . through the boxes at the new orphan house l. s. d.--by sale of reports s. ditto s.--from torquay s. d.--from the neighbourhood of newton abbot s., with three silver pencil cases, and two pieces of old silver.--from a visitor at clifton l., of which the donor wished me to take l. for myself, and to use the other as most needed. i took, therefore, l. for the orphans, and l. for missions and the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts.--from hackney l. s.--from taunton s. and ¼ lb. of tea.--there were anonymously left at the new orphan house two vases, a chinese tea caddy, a mosaic box, a ring set with a ruby and two brilliants, a double gold serpent bracelet, a large cameo brooch, a silver snuff-box, a double gold pin set with two brilliants, a pair of gold ear-rings, a pair of gold ear-rings set with pearls and emeralds, a gold brooch set with pearls and emeralds, a gold pin set with pearls and garnets, three gold shirt studs, a large gold cameo ring, a gold masonic medal, a pair of small gold ear-rings, a gold ring set with topazes, a gold watch ring, and a rupee. (these valuable articles did not merely refresh my spirit on account of their value; but they came as an answer to prayer for means, and also that the lord would incline the hearts of his children to send such valuable, but needless, articles.) there were also given by the same donors, six indian table mats, a white lace scarf, a black lace cap, and two pamphlets. july . " l. tendered as a thank-offering for singular deliverance at llanberis." ditto s. for a report. �from reading l.--from a christian gentleman of edinburgh, then near glasgow, l. through ditto l. ditto l.--from grundisburgh s. ditto s. ditto d.-- anonymously in postages s. d.--from bath s.--from chillington s. d.--from nottingham s. july . from pentonville l., with a little box of articles.--from yeovil s. and s. d.--from cannock l.--from blackrock s. july . from higham ferrers s.--from g. d. s.--from colsterworth s.--from wellesborne s.--anonymously s.--by sale of reports s. d.--from whitehaven l. s. d.--by sale of a report d.--from largs l.--"from an orphan sailor" l. july . from uppingham s. d.--from newton ferrers s. d. july . from lenten s. d.--from edinburgh l. s. aug. . from london l. ditto s. d. ditto l.--from chillington s. � from broseley s.--from warmley s. and an old silver watch.-- a little gold dust from a dying believer.--from f. e. b. s. d.-- from barnstaple l. s.--from northam s.--from hereford s. �by sale of reports s. d.--from newport, near barnstaple, l. s.--from barnstaple l. s.--from p. s. d.--through bethesda boxes s. d.--by sale of articles l. s. d. �by sale of reports s. aug. . by sale of reports l. s. d.--anonymously s.--from bath l. s.--from ilfracombe l.--from mundesley l.�anonymously given at the new orphan house l. ditto s.--from kilmersdon s. aug. . by sale of reports s. d.--from birmingham s. d.-- through the boxes at the new orphan house l. s. d.--from chapletown s.--from london l.--from tavistock s. d.-- returned on paying an account s. d.--by sale of reports s. d.-- by sale of trinkets l. s. d.--by sale of reports s. d.-- received also a letter from the neighbourhood of gumeracha, in australia, enclosing a bank order for l., of which l. was intended for aged or blind saints in bristol, l. for bibles and testaments, and l. for the orphans or the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. i took this l. for the orphans. aug. . from plymouth l.�from ilfracombe s.--from london l. s. d. aug. . from manchester s.--by sale of reports s. d. aug. . from greenock l.--from cockermouth l.--from islington l. s.--from child okeford s. d.--from clifton s. d. and s. � from horfield road s. �from henbury l. aug. . from melton abbot s.--from cheltenham road, bristol, l. s. � from islington l. s.--by sale of articles s. ½ d.--from fowey l.--through bethesda boxes s. d.--from st. philip's, bristol, s.--from three children s. d.--from clifton l. s.--through salem boxes s. aug. . from lichfield l. ditto s.--by sale of books l.--from calstock s. d.--from freshwater l. aug. . anonymously s.--by sale of reports s.--from yaxham l. � from gravesend l. through the boxes in the new orphan-house l. s. d.--from norwich s.--from a brother in the lord l. s. d. � from plymouth s.--by sale of reports s. d. thus the lord, in answer to prayer, had supplied me so bountifully, that, when i left home on august th, i could leave sufficient in the bank to last for a little time, and i hoped in god that, by the time that was gone, he would kindly give more. and thus he did. i have also given the income for the orphans day by day, for the above days, in order that thus the reader may see how, in large and small sums, and from various parts of the world, the lord is pleased to send in the supplies. i shall now give a few more instances in which the lord manifestly, in answer to prayer, helped us in the time of need. aug. . a christian widow, having had left to her by a friend a few articles, among which was a diamond brooch, sent it to me for the benefit of the orphans, and thus had the desire of her heart granted, which she had often had, to be able to send something for them. on the other hand, we receive it in answer to prayer, as there is very little in hand for the orphans, and as i have again and again asked the lord to lead his children to send me such articles for his own work.--there came in also from kirriemuir l.--from kingsbridge a guinea piece, also l. from the neighbourhood of hyde s. aug. . from douglas l.--from the neighbourhood of sunderland s. � from sunderland s.--through salem boxes s.--with james, , , s. d.--from h. t. and e. e. s. aug. . from captain j. k., royal navy, l.--from mr. c. k. l.-- from mr. p. l.--from bury s. aug. . from sunderland l. ditto s.--from gloucester s.--by sale of articles l. s.--from one engaged in the work l.--from the neighbourhood of crencester l. aug. . from the neighbourhood of southampton l. aug. . anonymously, through the boxes at bethesda chapel, sunderland, l.--from ilfracombe s. d.--through the boxes at the new orphan-house l. ½ d.--by sale of reports s.--from one engaged in the work, as a thank-offering for journeying mercies, s. � from the neighbourhood of sudbury in derbyshire l. �from grosmont s.--from hayle l.--by sale of the above-mentioned brooch l. s. sept. . from the isle of wight s. d.--from birmingham l.--from bath l.--from a christian lady in bath l. see, dear reader, how good the lord is, and how ready to help in answer to prayer! i was then miles from the work in which i am more especially engaged; but the lord's assistance was to be obtained in this distant place. day by day i sought his help while absent, and day by day i received intelligence from bristol. and thus, my fellow-labourers in bristol, and i at sunderland, were seeking the help of the lord, and he did condescend to listen to our supplications on account of his dear son, the lord jesus, and to grant us our requests. on this day, sept. st, i also received a precious letter, enclosing a post-office order for l. s., from a donor, who, for many years, took a lively interest in the work in which i am engaged. this letter was doubly precious, not only because of its containing l. s., which came just then so particularly in answer to prayer, as since august th, i had been especially looking to the lord for means, there being then scarcely any thing left; but also because it so strikingly proved the power of the divine life. * * * * aug. , . "dear mr. müller, "having been a constant sufferer now for a year, the money i send you is (humanly speaking) consequently less; and as there is likely to be a crisis soon, in the shape of a large abscess, and i know not what the lord is about to do with me, i send you all the money i have in hand; and if it should be the last may the lord add a double blessing to it. the lord does not want my poor help to do his own work; but i feel priviledged to be allowed to contribute, if it is but a nail, or a cup of milk, to his service. my peace is great�that is, his peace is with me, though tribulation, to some extent, is mine also. i desire your prayers, and remain, "yours in our precious lord, "* * * * *." "p.s.�i expect to be able to send a box of, it may be, almost useless articles soon. whither shall i send it?" this christian lady, whom i have never seen in the body, though i corresponded with her for many years, has entered into her rest. she fell asleep at the beginning of the year . in looking over my account books, i meet again and again with the name of one and another who has finished his course. soon dear reader, your turn and mine may come. are you prepared for eternity? affectionately i press this question upon you. do not put it away. nothing is of greater moment than this point; yea, all other things, however important in their place, are of exceedingly small importance, in comparison with this matter. do you ask, how you may be prepared for eternity, how to be saved, how to obtain the forgiveness of your sins; the answer is, believe in the lord jesus, trust in him, depend upon him alone as it regards the salvation of your soul. he was punished by god, in order that we guilty sinners, if we believe in him, might not be punished. he fulfilled the law of god, and was obedient even unto death, in order that we disobedient, guilty sinners, if we believe in him, might, on his account, be reckoned righteous by god. ponder these things, dear reader, should you have never done so before. through faith in the lord jesus alone can we obtain forgiveness of our sins, and be at peace with god; but, believing in jesus, we become, through this very faith, the children of god; have god as our father, and may come to him for all the temporal and spiritual blessings which we need. thus every one of my readers may obtain answers to prayers, not only to the same extent that we obtain them, but far more abundantly. it may be that few, comparatively, of the children of god are called to serve the lord in the way of establishing orphan-houses, &c.; but all of them may, yea, are called upon to trust in god, to rely upon him, in their various positions and circumstances, and apply the word of god, faith, and prayer to their family circumstances, their earthly occupation, their afflictions and necessities of every kind, both temporally and spiritually; just as we, by god's help, in some little measure seek to apply the word of god, faith, and prayer to the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. make but trial of it, if you have never done so before, and you will see how happy a life it is. you may, perhaps, pity the writer, and think how he must be burdened day by day, and full of care and anxiety; and you may think that he cannot have any quietness and peace, but is worn down by the constant questionings, how the expenses for the various schools are to be met; how further money is to be obtained for the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts; how the many preachers of the gospel at home and abroad, who are assisted by the institution, may once more be helped; how the orphans are to be provided with all they need; how situations for the elder female orphans are to be found; how suitable places may be obtained for the elder male orphans when they are ready to be apprenticed, and so on. now here is just the true state of the case:-- we are not insensible to any of these points; we do feel them. we do not put them away lightly and treat them with indifference; but we look them in the face and feel their deep importance. at the same time, while we neither treat them with indifference, nor attempt to carry them in our own strength, we do, by god's grace, cast our burdens upon him, trust in him; and thus are kept in peace in the midst of numberless difficulties, and almost constant trials of one kind and another. truly i prefer by far this life of almost constant trial, if i am only able to roll all my cares upon my heavenly father, and thus become increasingly acquainted with him, to a life of outward peace and quietness, without these constant proofs of his faithfulness, his wisdom, his love, his power, his over-ruling providence, &c. of the donations which came in between sept. nd and nov. th, amounting to about l., in different sums, i mention only, for the sake of brevity, the following. sept. . from an anonymous donor through mr. b. at geneva, by the hands of count g., l. s.--sept. . received from clerkenwell l., to be used one half for missions, and the other half as i thought best. i took the one half for the support of the orphans, and find the following remark in my journal respecting this donation: "what a precious answer to prayer! since aug. th we have been day by day coming to the lord for our daily supplies. precious, also, on account of missionary brethren, whom i seek to help, for whom there was nothing in hand when this donation was received!"--sept. . from crediton l. s. d., as "a thank-offering to god for the very fine harvest which in mercy he has been pleased to grant." nov. . there was now again only about l. in hand for the support of the orphans, when i received l. s. for them, and l. s. for myself, from a donor in london, whom the lord has been pleased to raise up during the last two years, and who since then has been often used as an instrument in helping the work at times of need. a brother in the lord also gave me l. this morning, saying, "i have of late had the orphans much laid on my heart."--from clifton l. s.--from h. c. s. �from f. m. s. nov. . further help. from the isle of wight s.--through bethesda boxes s. d.--ditto d.--from p. s.--through salem boxes s. � from a gloucestershire farmer l., of which he intended l. for missions, and the other l. to be used as most needed. i took it for the support of the orphans. nov. . by sale of reports s. d.--anonymously from york s.-- received back on paying an account s. ½ d.--from a relative of one of the orphans s.--having had to pay out l. for house-keeping expenses, and having had to meet a few little expenses besides, we had again only about l. left, as was the case three days ago, when i received this afternoon l. from a bristol donor.--also l. from london. nov. . our means were now again gone. we had scarcely anything in hand, with very heavy expenses before us, when this morning a christian gentleman from yorkshire called on me, and gave me l. for the current expenses for the orphans. this was a most precious encouragement to prayer! there came in further today from manchester s. d.--by sale of reports s. d.--through the boxes in the new orphan-house l. s. d.--returned on paying an account s. ¼ d.--from exeter l. s. nov. . a brother in the lord from manchester came to see the new orphan-house, and gave l., which came in a time of great need. nov. . l. was sent in the greatest need, from a considerable distance, of which i took l. for the orphans, and l. for the other objects. dec. . as since nov. only about l. has come in, i found this evening that our means for the support of the orphans were reduced to l. s. d, whilst our current expenses of late have been about l. daily, on account of the high price of provisions. this led to earnest prayer, that the lord would be pleased to help us. dec. . the lord has already sent a precious answer to the prayer of last evening. i received today from a noble lady l.--from devonshire l.--by sale of reports s. d.--from birmingham s. � by sale of a few coins, etc. s. d.--from monmouthshire s.-- by sale of reports s. d.--from worksop s. d.--returned on paying an account s. ¾ d. dec. . from cheltenham s. d.--from london s.--from clondegad s.--by sale of articles l. s. d. by sale of a report d.-- from edinburgh l. dec. . anonymously l.--from barking s.--from blackheath hill s. dec. . from b. s. s.--through bethesda and salem boxes s.-- from p. s. dec. . from a brother in the lord l.--from o. o. at plymouth s. dec. . from two believers at plymouth s.--from kingsbridge s. � from falmouth s.--from a little girl d.--by sale of reports s.--through the boxes in the new orphan-house l. s. d. dec. . from adelaide, australia, l. dec. . from torquay s.--from exmouth s.--from fulbeck s.-- from sherborne s. dec. . at the beginning of this day our money was again reduced to l. s. ½ d. for the current expenses for the orphans, whilst i had before me the prospect of having to advance this day l. for house-keeping expenses, in order that we might go with ease through the work, and in order that all expenses might be met. now see how the lord helped us during this day. there came very early this morning, from the neighbourhood of norwich, a box, containing the following articles. a prize medal, salt cellars, pencil cases, thimbles, fruit knives, a watch chain, vinaigrettes (all of silver), a black necklace, a silver chain, silver toothpicks, some pieces of silver, pairs of gilt bracelets, a pincushion, snaps, a pair of gold earrings, a tortoiseshell comb, a pocket comb, a reading glass, a box of paints, a bag of coral and other beads, smelling bottles and gilt chains. likewise, from another donor, a silver stock buckle, pairs of shoe buckles, pencil cases, a piece of silver chain, seals, a brooch pin, small gold pins, small silver coins, a metal coin, a small silver medal, a thimble, a pair of silver studs, pairs ditto set with bristol stone, and a gold earring. there was sent with these articles likewise. l., and from a poor woman d.--in the course of the day came in further: from islington s.--from a. w. s.--from islington s., with chemises and shirts.--also from a great distance l., which being left at my disposal, i took one half for the orphans, and the other half for the other objects.--by sale of articles l.-- also s. d., and s. ½ d. from an orphan-box.--thus i was enabled to advance this evening l. for house-keeping as needed. this was the last time, during this period of the institution, that we were brought so low as to means; for the lord sent in on dec. l. s.; on jan. , , in twenty-eight different donations, l. s. d.; on jan. nd l. s. d.; on jan. rd l. s. d.; on jan. th l. s. d., and so on, till the large donation was given of which, as has been stated, l. was taken for the current expenses for the orphans. this, with what came in from dec. th , up to may th, , for the support of the orphans, enabled me to meet all the demands without any difficulty, during the remaining five months. of all these donations, making, up the total of l. s. ¼ d., i refer only to the following. jan. , . from a clergyman in south africa l. jan. . from a christian merchant at clifton l. for the orphans, with l. for myself, and l. for poor believers. there have been many instances, in which, along with the donations for missions, or for the support of the orphans, or the building fund, there were also presents in money sent for my own personal expenses, or those of my family. these instances i have gladly recorded, as they came in connexion with the donations referred to, because they afforded me an opportunity of speaking well of the kindness and faithfulness of the lord in supplying my own personal or family need. it is now [i.e. in ] above twenty five years, since i have not had any regular income whatever. in the year , i saw it to be the lord's will to give up my regular income in connexion with the ministry of the word, and to trust in him, alone for the supply of all my temporal necessities. i have been enabled to continue in this path, and have not been allowed to regret the step which i then took. thus it is also in my position as director of the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. i have no salary in this position; but the lord abundantly supplies my need; yea, though there are many expenses connected with this very position, he abundantly meets all my wants, and gives me far more than i need. if with all my might i had sought to obtain a lucrative place, either as a preacher of the gospel, or in some other way, i should not have had more, i have reason to believe, if as much, as, unsought, unasked for, so far as it regards man, i receive day by day out of the loving hand of my heavenly father. when i look at his kindness to me in saving my guilty soul, i am overwhelmed with the boundlessness of his love and grace towards me in christ jesus; and when i look at his kindness to me, even as it regards temporal things, i know not where to begin, nor where to end, in speaking well of his name. i do desire to magnify him, and therefore declare in this public way his great goodness to me in thus so abundantly supplying my temporal necessities; and i do so also, if it may please god, by this means, to encourage the hearts of his children more and more unreservedly to trust in him. it is now above twenty-five years since i have asked help for myself from any human being; but god has been indeed my helper. and now the very work even with which i am connected, respecting which i had every reason to believe, when i commenced it, that it would be connected with great expenses to myself, as well as be the means, looked at naturally, of decreasing my own income, god has, though unsought for on my part, used as the instrument to bring along with it many supplies for myself also, thus not only abundantly meeting my increased expenses, but giving me far more than i need for myself. how great is his goodness! dear christian reader, be encouraged by this! do but trust in god with all your heart, and you will find that you will not be confounded. only let it be trust in god, not in man, not in circumstances, not in any of your own exertions, but real trust in god, and you will be helped, in your various necessities.--i refer to a few more of the donations. jan. . from various believers at melbourne, australia, l. for the orphans, and l. for the other objects. feb. . received a very valuable gold watch, a gold watch chain, gold watch keys, a gold seal, a silver mustard pot and spoon, a silver salt stand, a scent bottle, a china basket, china jugs, a china cup and saucer and mug taper candlesticks, a ring stand, spill cups, a card stand, a lamp, a claret jug, a pair of decanters, hock glasses, claret glasses, finger glasses, and a set of china tea things. the donor has found true riches and peace to his soul in the lord jesus; and he is thus led to send these articles for the benefit of the orphans. april . l. from a distance, of which the donor kindly intends l. for myself, and l. for the benefit of the orphans. may . l. s. d. from a distance, of which the donor kindly wished me to keep l. s d. for myself, and to use the other as it might be required for the lord's work. i took l. for the support of the orphans, and l. for the other objects. this donation was especially refreshing to my spirit, because of its coming at this period, when the outgoings are very great. may . towards the close of this day it was found that the balance left in hand, for the support of the orphans, was l. s. ½ d., as the amount with which we should have to begin the new period in providing for the necessities of the orphans. before leaving the orphan-house, i had my usual daily season for prayer with my dear wife. having praised the lord for his goodness to us and the work, in helping us during another year, and having sought his blessing upon the various objects of the institution, we commended ourselves again to him, especially, with reference to means for the coming year, and entreated him also to sustain our faith to the end of our course; for the longer i go on in this path, the more i feel my entire dependence upon the lord and my need of being sustained by him. when we arrived home, we found two more donations, the last of the present period, sent for the benefit of the orphans; one being two little dresses, a piece of print, a piece of calico, and pocket handkerchiefs; the other a small gold geneva watch, quite new. we took these two last donations as the lord's earnest that he would be with us during the coming period also, and with good courage looked forward to it, by his grace. i add a few remarks to this part of the narrative:-- . should any one suppose, on account of its having been stated in the previous pages that we were repeatedly brought low as to means, that the orphans have not had all that was needful for them; we reply, that never, since the work has been in existence, has there a meal-time come, but the orphans have had good nourishing food in sufficient quantity: and never have they needed clothes, but i have had the means to provide them with all they required. persons living in bristol can easily satisfy themselves as to this, not only by seeing week after week our stores for food and clothes; but also the dress and the healthy countenances of these hundreds of children (though very many of them were received in a very weak and diseased state) will amply prove what i state. . never since the orphan work has been in existence, have i asked one single human being for any help for this work; and yet, unasked for, simply in answer to prayer, from so many parts of the world, as has been stated, the donations have come in, and that very frequently at a time of the greatest need. were i to state what is not true, persons could easily convict me; to say nothing of the fact that god, whose name i have continually connected with this work, would disown me as an awful deceiver, and bring this work to nought; but if these things are true, as indeed they are, will not my readers own the hand of god, will they not recognize the minute particular providence of god, and the readiness of his heart to listen to the supplications of those who come to him with their requests in the name of the lord jesus? i do not seek a name for myself in connexion with this work; i do not wish to draw attention to myself, and am indeed sorry when persons have had their attention directed only to me; but i do seek honour for my heavenly father, and i do desire that his hand may be owned in this work. miscellaneous points respecting the scriptural knowledge institution, for home and abroad, with reference to the period from may , , to may , . . during this year four day schools in bristol, with children in them, were entirely supported by the funds of the institution; and several other day schools in devonshire, cornwall, suffolk, ireland, and scotland were assisted with copies of the holy scriptures. further, one sunday school in bristol, with children, was entirely supported, and seven others, in cornwall, devonshire, somersetshire, and gloucestershire, with about children in them, were assisted. lastly, one adult school, with adults, was entirely supported during this year.--the amount expended, during this year, on these various schools, was l. s. d. in connexion with all these schools, i would suggest the following important matter for prayer. from march, , to may, , , there were , children in the day schools. in the adult school there were , persons. the number of the sunday school children amounted to , . thus, without reckoning the orphans, , souls were brought under habitual instruction in the things of god in these schools; besides the many thousands in the schools in various parts of england, ireland, scotland, british guiana, the west indies, the east indies, &c., which were to a greater or less degree assisted. now, what i would especially request is, that all the disciples of the lord jesus, who take an interest in this work, would help me and my fellow-labourers with their prayers, that not only those who are at present under our instruction may be spiritually benefited, but particularly also, that god would be pleased to work mightily in the hearts of those who were once under our care, in bringing to their remembrance the truth which was then set before them. i am the more induced to make this request, as we frequently meet with young men or young women, who many years ago were under our care and instruction, who thankfully own the benefit they received when with us, and who are now believers in the lord jesus, though at the time they had given us little or no hope. thus has the lord afterwards been pleased to cause the seed to spring up and to bear fruit to his praise. during this year also we had again and again most encouraging instances of this kind brought before us. the total sum expended during the years, from march , , to may , , in connexion with the schools, which were either entirely, or in part supported by the funds of this institution, amounted to , l. s. ¼ d. . great have been the efforts, made of late years, to spread error; therefore the disciples of the lord jesus should be especially active in seeking to spread the truth. fearfully great, in particular, have been the efforts to rob the church of christ of the word of god; on this account, all who love our lord jesus in sincerity, should seek, according to their ability, to spread the holy scriptures. on account, therefore, of the especial attempts made, of late years, once more to deprive the church of christ of god's unerring holy word, i have had it particularly laid upon my mind, in every way to embrace opportunities for circulating it, and especially to place it in the hands of the very poorest of the poor. in this way, not only in england, wales and scotland, but particularly in ireland, we have sought to circulate the holy scriptures. and not only there, but also in canada, british guiana, the east indies, australia and china. every open door, which the lord was pleased to set before us, i have endeavoured to press into; and, in this service have been helped by many servants of christ, who have sought out the most destitute persons, desirous of possessing a copy of the holy scriptures. with this we have also particularly sought to combine the supplying of aged persons, who are poor, with copies printed in large type. our efforts have not been in vain. we have had instances brought before us of direct conversion, simply through reading the holy scriptures. again, during this year also, our labours were owned in this part of the work. but though we have seen some fruit, we believe that the greater part by far will be manifested in the day of the lord. it has been given to us, by the help of the lord, day by day to seek his blessing upon the circulation of the holy scriptures, and therefore we believe that our labour will not be in vain. we expect results. the number of bibles, new testaments, and portions of the holy scriptures, circulated from may , , to may , , is as follows: bibles were sold. bibles were given away. new testaments were sold. new testaments were given away. copies of the psalms were sold. other small portions of the holy scriptures were sold. there were circulated from march , , to may , , through the medium of this institutions , bibles, new testaments, copies of the psalms, and other small portions of the holy scriptures. the total amount of the funds of this institution, spent on the circulation of the holy scriptures, from march , , to may , , is l. s. d. the amount spent during this year, l. s. d. . during this year there was spent of the funds of the institution for missionary objects, the sum of l. s. d. by this sum fifty seven labourers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, were to a greater or less degree assisted. with reference to this part of the operations of the institution, i have especially the joy of being able to communicate to the christian reader, that the lord was pleased, during this year, abundantly to bless the labours of many of the brethren whom i assisted. again and again i had refreshing intelligence as to the fruit which resulted from their efforts. many souls were brought to the knowledge of the lord, through their labours during this year. and such heart-refreshing intelligence came to me not only from those labouring in various parts of the united kingdom, but also from those who are serving the lord in foreign countries. this calls for especial praise; but at the same time i would commend these dear brethren to the prayers of the saints, that they may be upheld by the lord with reference to their bodily and mental strength, and especially that they may be sustained with patience, faith, love, perseverance, and endurance; for great and many are their difficulties. i would especially also request all, who love the lord jesus, to pray for more labourers in the gospel; for i hear continually of fields which are unoccupied, and of open doors not entered into for lack of labourers. the total amount of the funds of the institution, spent on missionary operations, from march , , to may , , was , l. s. ½ d. . the fourth object of the institution is, the circulation of such publications as may be beneficial, with the blessing of god, to benefit both believers and unbelievers. as it respects tracts for unbelievers, i seek especially to aim after the diffusion of such as contain the truths of the gospel clearly and simply expressed; and as it respects publications for believers, i aim after the circulation of such as may be instrumental in directing their minds to those truths which in these last days are more especially needed, or which have been particularly lost sight of, and may lead believers to return to the written word of god. there was laid out for this object, from may , , to may , , the sum of l. s. d.; and there were circulated within this year , tracts and books. the total number of all the tracts and books circulated from the beginning up to may , , was , , . the total amount of means, expended on this object, from nov. , , to may , , is l. s. ¾ d. we desire to be truly thankful to the lord, for having intrusted us with means, and given us open doors, for the circulation of so many copies of the holy scriptures, and so many thousands of tracts; and for having enabled us to assist again to such an extent preachers of the unsearchable riches of christ; but we do not rest in this. our trust was in the lord for his blessing upon our efforts. nor has he allowed us to wait upon him in vain, during this year. we had not only very many answers to our prayers with regard to the obtaining of means, but also many answers to prayer as it respects fruit resulting from our labours. thus also with reference to the circulation of tracts. again and again instances came before us in which souls were converted through the tracts, which the lord had allowed us to send out during the year. among others, i would only mention, that an actor on the stage, to whom one of them was given, was brought to the knowledge of the lord. tract distributors, who can afford to pay for tracts, and who desire to procure tracts from us, may obtain them for this purpose with a discount of one-half, or per cent., from the retail price. i state this, as many be ievers may not like to give away that which cost them nothing, and yet may, at the same time, wish to obtain as much as possible for their money. applications for this should be made verbally or in writing to mr. stanley, at the bible and tract warehouse, no. , park-street, bristol. to him, also, application may be made for specimen packets containing an assortment of the tracts and small books which are kept. by sending s., s., s., or s. in postages to mr. stanley, no. , park street, bristol, packets will be sent to any part of england, wales, ireland, scotland, jersey, guernsey, &c., post paid, containing specimens to the amount of the postages sent. a catalogue of the various books and tracts, sold at the above warehouse, with their prices, may be had there, by applying either personally or by letter to mr. stanley. . the fifth object of the institution is, to board, clothe, and scripturally to educate destitute children who have lost both parents by death. at the commencement of this period there were orphans in the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol. during the year there were admitted into it orphans, making in all. of these , two died during the year. only two! we record this with particular gratitude. and even these two died through water on the brain. god helping us, we desire to trace his hand in everything; at the same time, the longer i am engaged in the orphan work, and see the effects which are produced by regular habits, cleanliness, nourishing food, proper clothing, good ventilation, a healthy locality, &c., the more i am convinced, that at least one-half of the children among the poorer classes die for want of proper attention. i do not state this to find fault with them, but rather mention it in the way of pity and commiseration, to draw the attention of the public to the fact. if anywhere the mortality among children should be great, humanly speaking, it should be so among us, because we generally receive the children very young, and also, because the very fact of these children, while so young, having been bereaved of both parents by death, shows that their parents, generally speaking, were of a very sickly constitution. indeed the greater part of the orphans whom we have received, lost one or both parents through consumption. and yet, though such is the case, we have seen again and again, how children who came to us in a most diseased state, have, through proper attention, by the blessing of god, been brought out of that state, and are now very healthy. but we often receive children whose countenances at once show that they have not had sufficient food, or were in other respects greatly neglected. it was only as late as april , , that the turn of children came, to be received, all of the same family, from to years old. when these children were brought, it was evident that they were in a most deplorable state of health from the want of proper food. this was now the painful difficulty in which we found ourselves; if we received them, it was not at all unlikely, humanly speaking, that we should have great trial with them on account of their health, as they had been so long neglected; and yet, if we did not take them, they would, we had great reason to fear, very shortly sink under their position. trust in god decided the matter. we received all four, hoping that, by god's blessing, they would be thus rescued from sinking under their circumstances. the eldest of the four, a boy of above nine years old, was for the first evening or two so weak, that he could not walk up stairs to the dormitory without stopping. this disappeared, after he had had the food of the new orphan house for a few days; and now all the four are so greatly improved, that they do not look at all like what they were on april th, . i have so minutely entered into this one case out of very many of the kind, which have come before me in connexion with the orphan work during the last years, in order to show how deeply important it is to care for such destitute orphans, to rescue them, humanly speaking, from misery or premature death, to say nothing now with reference to their spiritual welfare, which is paramount with us. besides the two who died out of the , we were obliged to expel one from the establishment. this boy was admitted on oct. , . he was then not quite eight years old; but though so young, it was soon found out that he was old in sin, for he was a confirmed liar, thief, &c. he gloried in it among the other boys, and told them that he had belonged to a juvenile gang of thieves, before he had been admitted into the orphan house, that he had often stolen from the ships iron, brass, &c., and sold it. we thought at first that he spoke thus merely in the way of boasting, but it proved but too true, that he was experienced in such matters; for twice he ran away from the orphan house, carrying off things belonging to the other children. moreover, he could pick locks, &c. we received him back twice, after having run away, hoping that, by bearing with him, admonishing him, speaking to him privately, praying with him, and using a variety of other means, he might be reclaimed; but all in vain. at last, having borne with him, and tried him for five years and four months, he was solemnly, with prayer, before the whole establishment, expelled, if by any means this last painful remedy might be blessed to him. yet we follow even this poor young sinner with our prayers, and hope that yet the lord may show him his evil ways, and give us even now joy concerning him, as we have had before in a similar instance. this case afresh deeply impressed upon me the importance of caring for orphans from their earliest days; for this poor boy, when but eight years old, was already greatly practiced in stealing. one of the children, after having been five years and one month under our care, was taken back by the relatives who had placed him with us, as they were by that time able to provide for him. one of the girls was sent out to learn a business, one as a junior teacher in a school, and to take situations; and boys were apprenticed. these vacancies thus occasioned, left at the end of the year only children in the new orphan house. the total number of orphans, under our care from april , to may , , was . i notice further the following points respecting the new orphan house. . persons who desire to make application for the admission of orphans, are requested to write to me, and address the letter to my house, no. , paul street, kingsdown, bristol. . i again state, as it regards the funds, that the income for the orphans is kept distinct from that for the other objects. donors may therefore contribute for one or the other of the objects exclusively, or have their donations equally divided among them all, just as it may appear best to themselves. if any of the donors would wish to leave the application of their donations to my discretion, as the work of god in my hands more especially may call for it at the time, they are requested, kindly to say so, when sending their donations. . the expenses for the orphans, during this year, were l. s. ½ d. . without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me, the sum of l. s. ¾ d. was given to me for the orphans, as the result of prayer to god, from the commencement of the work up to may , , which sum includes the , l s. ¼ d. paid for the building, fitting up, and furnishing of the present new orphan house, the , l. s. ¼ d., in hand on the th may, , for the building fund, and the l. s. ½ d., the balance for the current expenses.--it may also be interesting to the reader to know that the total sum, given for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , amounted to , l. s. ¾ d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payment of the children in the day schools, from the commencement, amounted to l. s. ¾ d.-- besides this, also a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, &c., were given for the use of the orphans. . i have the joy of being able to state that we have great cause for thankfulness, that, in the midst of many difficulties, our labours among the orphans continue to be blessed, and that, especially, again and again instances now come before us in which those, who were formerly under our care, declare themselves on the lord's side. . besides being able to meet the expenses for the orphans and the other objects, amounting altogether to l. s. ½ d. during this year, i was able to add to the building fund l. s. d. the total income during the year was , l. s. d. . the articles given for the benefit of the orphans, are sold by miss stevens, on the first floor of the bible and tract warehouse of the scriptural knowledge institution, no. , park street, bristol. matters connected with my own personal affairs, or the work of the lord in my hands, not immediately connected with the scriptural know/edge institution, from may , , to may , . dec. , . during this year there have been received into fellowship . the lord has been pleased to give me during this year� . in provisions, clothes, etc., worth at least . in anonymous offerings in money, put up in paper and directed to me, and put into the boxes for the poor saints or the rent, at the chapels . . ½ . in presents in money, from believers in bristol, not given anonymously. . . in money, from believers not residing in bristol . . . . . ½ ----------- £ ----------- some of my readers may be ready to exclaim, l. s. d.! what a large sum! not one out of a hundred ministers has such a large salary, nor one out of twenty clergymen such a good living! should you, esteemed reader, say so, my reply is: indeed mine is a happy way for the obtaining of my temporal supplies; but if any one desires to go this way, he must-- . not merely say that he trusts in god, but must really do so. often individuals profess to trust in god, but they embrace every opportunity, directly or indirectly, to expose their need, and thus seek to induce persons to help them. i do not say it is wrong to make known our wants; but i do say it ill agrees with trust in god, to expose our wants for the sake of inducing persons to help us. god will take us at our word. if we say we trust in him, he will try whether we really do so, or only profess to do so; and if indeed we trust in him, we are satisfied to stand with him alone. . the individual who desires to go this way must be willing to be rich or poor, as the lord pleases. he must be willing to know what it is to have an abundance or scarcely anything. he must be willing to leave this world without any possessions. . he must be willing to take the money in god's way, not merely in large sums but in small.--again and again have i had a single shilling given or sent to me. to have refused such tokens of christian love, would have been ungracious. . he must be willing to live as the lord's steward.--if any one were to begin this way of living, and did not communicate out of that which the lord gives to him, but hoard it up; or, if he would live up to his income, as it is called, then the lord, who influences the hearts of his children, to help him with means, would soon cause those channels to be dried up. how it came that my already good income still more increased, so as to come to what it is, has been stated in the early part of this volume; it was when i determined that, by god's help, his poor and his work should more than ever partake of my means. from that time the lord was pleased more and more to intrust me with means for my own purse. i request the reader carefully to read over once more all i have said in the first volume of this narrative, third part, from page to , on matthew , - , on matthew , , and on "stewardship." various reasons might have kept me from publishing these accounts; but i have for my object in writing, the glory of god, and therefore delight in thus showing what a loving master i serve, and how bountifully he supplies my necessities; and i write for the comfort and encouragement of my fellow believers, that they may be led to trust in god more and more, and therefore i feel it due to them to state, how, even with regard to this life, i am amply provided for, though that is not what i seek after. further account respecting the intended orphan houses for seven hundred poor children, bereaved of both parents by death, from may , , to may , . on may , , i had in hand for this object , l. s. ¼ d., as stated in the last chapter on this subject. i now relate how the lord was pleased to supply me further with means, but must confine myself, for the sake of brevity, to some of the more remarkable donations. june. . a silver medal "given to the donor for being engaged in the taking of java; but he desires to lay down his honour at the feet of the lord jesus, and to have this medal used to lay a stone in the new building." aug. . from s. s. l., with l. for the circulation of the holy scriptures, l. for missions, and l. and the following articles for the support of the orphans: a pair of gold mounted bracelets, a pair of jet bracelets, an iron watch guard, a pair of iron bracelets and waist buckle, a small gold seal, a ring, pencil cases, a gold brooch, a purse and some mock pearls and beads. aug. . from devonshire l. nov. . from ipswich l., "the property of a dear child now in heaven." nov. . from london l., with l. for the circulation of bibles and tracts, l. for the schools, l. for missions, l. for the orphans, l. for mr. craik, and l. for my own expenses. dec. . this evening i had the kind offer, unsolicited, that all the glass required, for about large windows in the new house, which is now being built, should be gratuitously supplied. it is worthy of notice that the glass was not contracted for, this time, as in the case of the house already built. this, no doubt, was under the ordering of our heavenly father, who knew beforehand that this offer would be made. jan. , . from liverpool: a ring set with a brilliant, a gold bracelet, a maltese bracelet, a brooch, a maltese silver clasp and belt, a garnet ring, a pair of gold ear-rings, a box of whist markers, and german cross and chain. feb. . now at last the lord has been pleased, in answer to many prayers, to give me today l., which being left to my disposal for the work of the lord, i took for the building fund l., for the support of the orphans l., and for missionary objects, the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, and the support of the various schools in connection with the scriptural knowledge institution l. how i feel at such times cannot be described, when in answer to many prayers, the lord is pleased to open his bountiful hands, and to prove so abundantly how willing he is to listen to the supplications of his children who put their trust in him, though it may be needful, for their own good and that of others, that for a season he seem but little or not at all to regard their supplications. march . received l., which was left at my disposal as the work of the lord might require it. i took of this sum l. for the building fund, and l. for missions, the circulation of bibles and tracts, and the various schools, supported by the institution.--this donation is the fruit of many prayers, and of much looking to the lord for answers. his holy name be magnified for it. i am thus drawing nearer and nearer the time when i shall have obtained from the lord everything needed for this object. i have not had, from the beginning, by god's grace, one moment's doubt, that in his own time, he would give me all that is required. may . by sale of a publication in french l.--by sale of a publication in english l. s. d.--to these donations is to be added l. s. d., received during this year for interest. i add a few remarks. a. up to may , , the total income for the building fund was , l. s. ½ d., so that only about l. more will be required, as far as i am able to see, in order to accomplish to the full my purpose respecting the accommodation for more orphans. b. the house for female orphans, commenced in august, , is expected, with god's blessing to be ready by about midsummer for the reception of orphans. c. as soon as my path is made plain, god willing, the other house for orphans will also be commenced; but i cannot state, at present, any further particulars respecting this. supplies for the school�, bible�, missionary and tract fund, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . on may , , when the accounts were closed, there was in hand l. s. ½ d. for these objects. on june , , therefore only a few days after the commencement of the new period, when only l. s. d. altogether had come in for these objects, in different donations, i received l. s. d., of which the donor kindly wished me to retain l. s. d. for my own expenses, and to use the l. for the work of the lord, as might be needed. i took, therefore, l. for the support of the orphans, and l. for these objects, and had thus some means, to go on with the work. this donation was a great refreshment and encouragement to me, at the commencement of this new period. july . since june th little only, comparatively, has come in. all the donations for these objects were under l. today, however, the lord, in answer to many prayers, has sent me l., to be used as needed. i took of this donation l. for the orphans, and l. for these objects, and have thus the means of being able to send some help to brethren who labour in the gospel. aug. . having had heavy expenses the last ten days, in order to help foreign labourers in the gospel, and to procure supplies of bibles, testaments, and tracts, our means for these objects were now reduced to l. s. ½ d. yet i desired far more to help brethren who labour in the word, as the greater party of them had not yet been supplied. i therefore besought the lord, that he would be pleased to send in means. when i came home this evening from the new orphan house, i found the following letter, from the same believing farmer, whom the lord has several times used in previous years, to help me when in need. "* * * * aug. , . "dear brother in christ, "i feel stirred up to help you in the work in which you are engaged, and therefore beg your acceptance of the enclosed twenty pounds, to be used in any way you please, trusting god will direct you. yours affectionately in christ, "* * * *" i took the whole amount for missionary objects and the circulation of bibles and tracts. aug. . the outgoings from these objects have been great, during this month, and the income comparatively small. on this account the means for these objects were reduced today to a few shillings. as the opportunities for the gratuitous circulation of the holy scriptures and gospel tracts, however, continued to be great, and as i had been only able to send out about the third part as much to labourers in the gospel, as i could have desired, my prayer during this week had been especially for means for this object. now the lord has somewhat helped us. i have received today a donation of l. s., the whole of which i took for these objects, as the application of it was left with me. the lord be magnified for this precious help! i shall be able to send at least l. of this sum to labourers in the gospel.-- about hours, before this donation was received, i had been asking the lord, if he would not condescend to use me as an instrument, at this time, in helping these brethren, he would kindly in some other way supply them with means. sept. . from dublin l. for missions. sept. . from c. w. l. for foreign labourers in the gospel. a precious help in answer to many prayers. sept. . received l., of which i took l. for these objects, in order to be able to send some help to brethren who labour in the word, and to have means for going on with the circulation of bibles and tracts; and the remaining l. i took for the support of the orphans. precious help, the fruit of many prayers! sept. . from clerkenwell for missions l. oct. . l. from austin friars, london. i had been praying again and again for more means for these objects, and had sent out l. within the last few days to brethren who labour in the word, but desired to send out more. oct. . from london l. nov. th. since oct. th i had not been able to send any further help to brethren who labour in the word, much as i desired to do so, having only means enough to meet the necessary demands for the schools, and the circulation of bibles and tracts, which amounted, from that time, to about l. but i prayed daily for means for missionary objects and the circulation of bibles and tracts. today i received l., the whole of which i have taken for these objects, as the disposal of it was left to me, having great reason to believe that many labourers in the gospel are in need of help, and having still so many openings for the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts. the lord be magnified for this precious answer to prayer! dec. . during november i was enabled to send l. to brethren who labour in the gospel at home and abroad, and also l. in october; but during this month i have as yet been only able to send out l. my often repeated prayer has been, that the lord would give me the joy and privilege of sending out a considerable sum during this month also. this prayer was again repeated, when i rose this morning, and saw the windows covered with ice; for i thought then of the needy brethren in this cold weather, connected with the high price of provisions. it was not long after, when i received l., to be used in the lord's service, as most needed. i took of this, l. for brethren labouring in the gospel at home and abroad, and l. for the support of the orphans, and thus have the joy of being able to send at least l. at once, waiting upon the lord for more. jan. , . as the fruit of very many prayers, i have received today l., the whole of which i have put to these funds, the application of the money being left with me; as there was nothing at all left now for the circulation of bibles and tracts, and the various schools, and as i had often asked the lord to allow me further the joy of sending help to brethren who labour in the word, to whom since dec. th i had been able to send scarcely anything. from this time there were no further difficulty experienced with regard to means, for these objects, as on feb. th there was received the donation of l., and on march th the donation of l., of each of which, as stated before, i took l. for the school�, bible�, missionary�and tract objects, whereby, together with what came in besides, i was not only carried to the close of this period, but was enabled to expend more on missionary objects, and the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, than during any previous year, since the institution commenced in march, . let it be especially observed by the godly reader, that not only does this work continue to exist, after more than years, carried on solely through the power of prayer and faith in the living god; but also year by year its operations have been extended. unbelief is thus put to shame. it is plainly proved that the work of god can be carried on simply by trust in god. if our work is indeed the work of god, faith and prayer will be found efficient agents; and if they are not efficient, we may well question, whether we do indeed make use of them; or, if we do, whether the work, in which we are occupied, is truly the work of god. notice here also, that not only was i enabled, simply through prayer and faith, to procure means for a greater amount of operations than during any year since march ; but, over and above all this, i was able to add to the building fund during this year l. s. ¼ d., whilst the income for the support of the orphans was l. s. ¼ d., and the income for the other objects l. s. ¼ d. the total amount, therefore, which the lord was pleased to send in during the past year, was , l. s. ¾ d. behold, dear reader, how effectual this way is for the obtaining of means; for the amount is large. behold too, how pleasant a way it is; for i have not to encounter unpleasant refusals, in applying for money. behold how cheap a way; for it involves none of the heavy expenses, usually attendant on the collection of contributions; for all i do is, to make known the work in which we are engaged, by means of the reports, which are for the most part sold for the benefit of the orphans, and they actually brought in during this year, as the audited accounts show, a little more than they cost. but, perhaps, you say, yes, it is just these reports, why there is nothing at all remarkable in the matter. our reply is: we do not pretend to miracles. we have no desire even, that the work, in which we are engaged, should be considered an extraordinary one, or even a remarkable one. we are truly sorry that many persons, inconsiderately, look upon it almost as a miraculous one. the principles on which we are acting are as old as the holy scriptures. but they are forgotten by many; and they are not held in living faith by others; and by some they are not known at all; nay, they are denied even to be scriptural by not a few, and are considered as wild and fanatical. it is ascribed to my being a foreigner that i succeed so well, or to the novelty of the thing, or to some secret treasure to which i have access; but when all will not account for the progress of the work, it is said, the reports produce it all. my reply to these different objections is: my being a foreigner, looked at naturally, would be much more likely to hinder my being intrusted with such large sums, than to induce donors to give. as to the novelty procuring the money, the time is long gone by for novelty, for this is june , and the work commenced in march . as to the secret treasure to which i have access, there is more in this supposition than the objectors are aware of; for surely god's treasury is inexhaustible, and i have that (though that alone) to go to, and have indeed drawn out of it, simply by prayer and faith, more than , l. since the beginning of the work. but now as to the last objection, that the reports are the means by which all the money is obtained: let us consider this a little, for i do heartily desire that the reader may not lose the blessing, which this institution is intended to convey to his soul. my reply is: there is nothing unusual in writing reports. this is done by public institutions generally, but the constant complaint is, that reports are not read. our reports are not extraordinary as to the power of language, or as to striking appeals to feelings. they are simple statements of facts. these reports are not accompanied by personal application for means; but they are simply sent to the donors, or to any other individuals who wish to have or purchase them. if they produce results, which reports generally do not, i can only ascribe it to the lord. i do not mean to say that god does not use the reports as instruments in procuring us means. they are written in order that i may thus give an account of my stewardship, but particularly, in order that, by these printed accounts of the work, the chief end of this institution may be answered, which is to raise another public testimony to an unbelieving world, that in these last days the living god is still the living god, listening to the prayers of his children, and helping those who put their trust in him; and in order that believers generally may be benefited and especially be encouraged to trust in god for everything they may need, and be stirred up to deal in greater simplicity with god respecting everything connected with their own particular position and circumstances; in short, that the children of god maybe brought to the practical use of the holy scriptures, as the word of the living god.-- but while these are the primary reasons for publishing these reports, we doubt not that the lord has again and again used them as instruments in leading persons to help us with their means. for as we continually stand in need of considerable sums, and as even hundreds of pounds go but a very little way, i entreat the lord day by day, and generally several times every day, to supply me with means, to speak to the hearts of his dear children, and to constrain them by the love of christ to help me out of the means, with which he has intrusted them; and so it comes to pass, i doubt not, that the lord again and again works by his spirit in the hearts of those who have read or heard the reports. but whether we are supplied with means through the reports or irrespective of them; in either case it is god, who is working for us, and it is to this i wish to direct the mind of the reader. means for the support of the orphans already under my care, sent in answer to prayer, from may , , to may , . when this period commenced, i had l. s. ½ d. in hand for the support of the orphans, an amount so small, looking at it naturally, that one would be ready to say, there would be soon nothing in hand. thus indeed it would have been, had the lord not been pleased further to send in means; but he, in his fatherly care, never ceased to remember our need and to provide for its supply. the expenses were very heavy, month after month, not only because of the greatness of the establishment, but in particular also on account of the high price of provisions, which prevailed during the whole of last year; yet, notwithstanding this, there was not a single year, since the orphan work commenced, in which i went on with greater ease regarding means, than during the last period. at the close of the first month, june th, though the expenses had been great, there remained l. s. ½ d. in hand. at the close of the second month, july th, there was a balance left of l. s. at the close of the third month, aug. th, there was left a balance of l. s. d. and in like manner the lord was pleased to supply me with means, month after month, so that when he was pleased to give me on feb. th the donation of l., above referred to, i had still l. in hand for the support of the orphans. it is particularly worthy of notice, that the income for the support of the orphans was not supplied by some very large donations, previous to the one of l.; for there was no period for about ten years, when i received fewer large donations for the support of the orphans, than during the last. it was supplied by many donations of l., l., l., l., l. and upwards, but not exceeding l., except one of l. s. d. received on may rd, and the l. which i took for the orphans out of the l. and again it is remarkable, that while up to feb. th we had always abounded, and were never brought low, but generally had had about l in hand; almost immediately after the reception of the l., out of which i took l. for the support of the orphans, the balance, before in hand, was all expended, and more money required; so that i had soon to use a part of the l., whereby the hand of god in that large donation was so much the more made manifest; and yet, again, this l., with what the lord was pleased to send in besides between feb. th and may th, not only met all the remaining heavy expenses, but left in hand a balance of l. s. ¾ d. observe, dear reader, while we were in rented houses in wilson street, we had our faith greatly tried, year after year, though the expenses were only about one-third as much, as during the past year. and thus also it has been again and again, since the new orphan house was opened in ; but during the past year we were entirely free from trial of faith regarding means for the support of the orphans, though not without many trials of faith and patience on other accounts. the lord takes his own way, and therefore he allows this year to stand by itself, in this particular. on this i delight to dwell; for i desire that the hand of god may be recognised in this work, whether it be by his power being manifested in sustaining us in our poverty from day to day, or by his causing us to go on easily with regard to means for a day, or a month, or a year. you see, then, that while there was but like "a handful of flour in the barrel," at the commencement of the period, the lord was pleased to make it last for a whole year, and yet, at the end of the year, there was more than at the beginning; and during the whole year all these hundreds had been fed, clothed, and provided with everything needful; apprentices had been placed out and premiums paid for them, and their outfit and that of the young women going out to service had been provided at the expense of the orphan establishment. what an answer does all this furnish to unbelief which said, when i was going to build the new orphan house, how will you find the means for the support of these orphans? or, when unbelief said, how will you be able to support a thousand orphans? i will now out of the very many donations, received during this year, single out a few, and make here and there remarks, as the subjects may call for it. june , . the balance left when the accounts were closed, was only enough to supply the average expenses of ten days for the support of the orphans, and there had only been received during the last days l. s. d. how kind therefore of the lord, to send me today l. from liverpool, l. from preston, and s. from milton abbot! june . l. from lincolnshire "as a thank-offering to the lord for preserving the only child of a widow from the path of the destroyer." june . a gold chain, some books for sale, and l. june . l. as "a thank-offering to the lord for preservation when thrown out of a gig." july . from worcestershire l. july . received from a great distance l., of which i took l. for the support of the orphans, and l. for the other objects. there has also come in today l. from norwich, l. from bath, s. from chepstow, s. d. from mallow, l. from dublin, a gold seal and sixpence, and s. and s. d. besides. the lord's kindness is great in this, as a fresh supply of oatmeal, flour, &c., will need to be paid for, other heavy expenses have to be met, and there is not much in hand. july . an israelitish gentleman, an entire stranger, brought to my house this morning l. for the support of the orphans. see in what a variety of ways the lord is pleased to supply us with means, and all unsolicited, simply in answer to prayer! aug. . from messrs. * * * l. s. d., being a portion of the money received for showing the "british empire" before she left bristol. observe again, esteemed reader, what a variety of ways the lord uses to supply me with means; for i had not before even heard of the name of this vessel, nor did i know her owners, even by name; yet god inclines the heart of these gentlemen to send me this l. s. d. towards the support of the orphans.--anonymously from wilton s., as "a thank-offering to god for his mercies on a journey." aug. . from worcestershire l. sept. . from the bombay presidency l. on sept. , were sent by the donor who gave so valuable a donation of jewellery on july , , the following articles of jewellery, etc., being the last she possessed, and which the love of christ led her to give up: a valuable dressing case, little boxes, pomatum pots, a gold thimble, a large gold brooch set with a ruby and brilliants, a gold star necklace set with a brilliant, a gold bracelet, a gold watchguard, a gold cross, rings set with pearls, a ring set with pearls and small rubies, a ring set with brilliants, a ring set with rubies and brilliants, a pair of gold earrings and brooch set with pearls, a large ivory brooch, a silver brooch set with pearls, a silver pencil case, a paste brooch, loose crystals, and some small carved ornaments. sept. . received a large cask containing the wearing apparel of the late mrs. h. at j. in the county of leicester, which this lady, by her will, had bequeathed to me for the benefit of the orphans. oct. . received the following letter. "* * *, oct. , . dear mr. müller, the enclosed check for l. s. d. is chiefly the product of a sale for the orphans, which we held on our sister's wedding-day, and hoping it will be acceptable, we remain, your's affectionately, * * * * *." the orphans on ashley down were to be benefited by the day of gladness in this godly family.--the godly principle, which brought this donation, refreshed my spirit above the money, and, i doubt not, will refresh other godly readers.--let me here say, by the way, to believing parents, seek to cherish in your children early the habit of being interested about the work of god and about cases of need and distress, and use them too at suitable times, and under suitable circumstances, as your almoners, and you will reap fruit from doing so. oct. . from surrey s. and a gold chain.--from a shepherd in australia, who had read my narrative while tending his flock, s.-- see how the lady near london sends her gold chain, and the shepherd in australia his s.--thus the lord, in the greatest variety of ways supplies me with means, for the greater part through entire strangers. thus i received one hundred pounds after another, anonymously, through london bankers, until a particular circumstance made known to me the name of the kind christian donor, whom i have seen but once years ago, and who had, at the same time, sent me considerable donations with his name, whilst his bankers, anonymously, sent his still larger donations of many hundred pounds. i dwell upon this fact, that the reader may be led to own increasingly the hand of god in this work; for i desire that he may be honoured, that his hand may be recognised, and that attention may be drawn to him, and not to me. it gives me no joy but sorrow, if persons admire me, in connexion with this work, as if i did anything great; as if i acted in a remarkable way. what is it that i do? i simply desire, through this work, to direct the attention of those who need it to the precious truth, that god is unchangeably the same, and that those who take him at his word, as given to us in the holy scriptures, will find how unspeakably blessed it is, even for this life, to do so. to bring back to the written word of god those of his children, who practically have departed from it, and to sound again and again in the ears and consciences of the unbeliever that there is verily a living god who listens to the prayers of those who put their trust in him, is, as i have often before stated, the great end of this work. oct. . to day i received, unsolicited, a kind and useful present of flannel and calico, to the amount of l., from the ladies constituting the bristol dorcas society. oct. . "articles forwarded by friends at a distance," an anonymous but most valuable donation, the particulars of which i am not at liberty to state.--the kind unknown donor or donors should, however, know, that very many pounds have been realized through the sale of these articles, and that they were almost all readily sold. i cannot help noticing here, how much help the lord has given us, in disposing of the articles, given for the benefit of the orphans, and what a considerable sum has come to the funds of the institution through the fact that believers have been led to send their needless articles. there came in by the sale of articles during the past year, for the building fund l. s. d., for missionary objects l. s. d., and for the support of the orphans l. s. d. oct. . from devonshire l. "the proceeds of the sale of the orphans pig." a young pig bought, fattened and sold for the benefit of the orphans, and this l. was sent as the proceeds. nov. . from st. leonard's-on-sea l. nov. . a ring set with brilliants. nov. . from yate l. and also s. nov. . from new york l. from bath l. flour is now s. per sack. when we began to bake in the new orphan house, it was from s. to s. we bought at one time sacks at s. now it is s. but the lord provides us with all we need, though other provisions are also expensive, as well as flour. dec. . from the north of devon a brooch, set with an emerald and brilliants.--i took this as a further answer to my prayers, for gifts of diamonds, etc. jan. , . l. s. d. with these words; "this is the answer of prayers, we have of late without ceasing offered up on behalf the orphans."--this is one of the most remarkable donations received during the whole year. a brother and sister in the lord, who labour for him in seeking to win souls, whilst depending upon him for all they need, gave themselves to prayer on behalf of the orphans, and that which the lord gave them towards the close of the yean , in answer to prayer, enabled them to send this l. s. d. see, dear reader, that the saints have power with god. this brother and sister have been greatly encouraged by this work, and now, even in the way of means, though they are poor themselves, this work reaps the fruit of their prayers. be encouraged, then, for yourself to trust in god for all you may need. jan. , l. s. from stroud, as "a thank-offering for years of family mercies." feb. . from worcestershire l. feb. . from george town, demerara, dollars.--from south town l and also s.--from liverpool l. feb. . from adelaide, australia, l. and also s. feb. . from hornley, staffordshire, l. april . received l. s. d., which being left to my disposal for the lord's work, i took the whole for the support of the orphans. april . from worcestershire l. april . l. from the grand duchy of baden. i have thus, out of more than donations, taken a few, to show in what way the lord is pleased to supply me with means. miscellaneous points respecting the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, with reference to the period from may , , to may , . , during this year day schools in bristol, with children, were entirely supported by the funds of the institution; and nine day schools, in devonshire, cornwall, gloucestershire, norfolk, scotland, british guiana and africa, were assisted.--further, one sunday school in bristol, with children, was entirely supported, and eight others, in gloucestershire, devonshire, middlesex, canada and british guiana, were assisted.--lastly, one adult school in bristol, with adult scholars, was entirely supported, and two other adult schools, in kent and norfolk, were assisted. the amount spent during this year, in connexion with these schools, was l. s. ¼ d.; and the sum total expended during the last years in connexion with the schools, either entirely, or in part, supported by the funds of this institution, amounts to l. s. ½ d.--the number of children, who were under our care, merely in the schools, entirely supported by this institution, from march , , to may , , was in the day schools, in the sunday schools, and persons in the adult school. thus, without reckoning the orphans, , persons have been brought under habitual instruction in the things of god in these various schools; besides the many thousands in the schools in various parts of england, ireland, scotland, british guiana, the east indies, etc., which have been to a greater or lesser degree assisted. , during this year was expended on the circulation of the holy scriptures, of the funds of this institution, l. s. d. there were circulated during this year bibles, new testaments, copies of the psalms, and other small portions of the holy scriptures.-- there have been circulated since march , , through the medium of this institution, , bibles, , new testaments, copies of the psalms, and other small portions of the holy scriptures.--the sum total spent on the circulation of the holy scriptures, since march , , is l. s. d. . during this year there were spent of the funds of the institution for missionary objects l. s. d. by this sum, sixty one labourers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, were to a greater or less degree assisted. the amount sent to each of these servants of the lord is as follows. to no. . labouring in british guiana (a european) l. to no. . ditto (ditto) l. to no. . ditto (ditto) l. to no. . ditto (ditto) l. to no. . ditto (ditto) l. to no. . ditto (ditto) l. to no. . ditto (ditto) l. to no. ditto (a native) l. to no. ditto (ditto) l. to no. . labouring in china (a european) l. to no. . labouring in the east indies (a european) l. to no. . ditto (ditto) l. to no. . ditto (ditto) l. to no . ditto (a native) l. to no. labouring in canada l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . labouring in belgium l. to no. . labouring in switzerland l. to no. . labouring in france l. to no. . labouring in ireland l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . labouring in scotland l. to no. labouring in england l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. to no. . ditto l. there was also expended for fitting up, or renting, lighting, cleaning, &c., some preaching rooms in spiritually dark villages in devonshire, gloucestershire, and somersetshire, l. respecting this part of the work there is great cause for thanksgiving. it has pleased the lord abundantly to bless the labours of many of these servants of christ whom i have assisted. very many souls have been won through them during the past year. on the labours of some in particular, both at home and abroad, an unusual blessing has rested. but whilst i say this to the praise of the lord, i add the earnest entreaty also, to the believing reader, to supplicate for these dear brethren, that it may please god to give unto them strength of voice, mind and body for their service; but, above all, to renew them in their inward man day by day, and to make them happy in himself, so that they may out of a happy heart, which is under the power of the truth, set forth the unsearchable riches of christ. i also request the prayers of the believing reader for an increase of labourers, especially for foreign countries, as almost everywhere there is a great lack of them, and from time to time through death or ill health they are removed from their post of service. though more has been expended this year of the funds of the institution, than during the previous year, for missionary objects; yet i long to be permitted to do far more than this. the sum total expended on missionary operations, of the funds of the institution, since march , , is , l. s. ½ d. , there was laid out for the circulation of tracts, from may , , to may , , the sum of l. s. ½ d., and there were circulated , tracts and books.--the sum total expended on this object, since. nov. , , amounts to l. s. ¼ d.--the total number of all the tracts and books circulated since nov. , , is , , . during this year, as for many years past, there has not been a single open door set before us, where we could profitably have circulated the holy scriptures, or given away tracts, but the lord has also been pleased to enable us to enter those doors. these opportunities have of late years increased more and more, but the lord has also been pleased, along with them, to give increased means; and, we doubt not, he will yet further open his bountiful hand, and supply us with means for the circulation of the holy scriptures and gospel tracts. i have heard again and again of instances, during the past year in which it had pleased the lord to bless the circulation of those tracts and little books, which he had allowed us to issue. , at the beginning of this period, there were orphans in the new orphan house. during the past year, there were admitted into it orphans, making in all. of these , one died. only one! she had been nine years under our care, and we had the great joy of seeing her depart this life as a decided believer in the lord jesus. one boy we were obliged to expel from the institution, after we had long borne with him, but we follow him still with our prayers. boys were fitted out and apprenticed at the expense of the establishment. seven girls were sent to service and one was apprenticed, each having been provided with an outfit, at the expense of the establishment. several of those who left the orphan house, we had the joy of sending out as believers. these vacancies, thus occasioned, left on may , , only orphans under our care. this one vacancy, however, was the very next friday filled up. the total number of orphans, who have been under our care since april , is . i notice further the following points respecting the orphan work: , at the beginning of this period, there were orphans waiting for admission. since then more destitute orphans, bereaved of both parents by death, and some only a few months old, have been applied for to be admitted, making in all. of these , we were only able to receive , as has been stated, and either died or were otherwise provided for, as their relatives or friends informed us; so that there are still waiting for admission. dear reader, think of these destitute orphans, bereaved of both parents! as for myself, i have now before me the most pleasant and heart-refreshing prospect, if the lord permit, of being able to receive of them about june or july , and also of being permitted to build the third house for more. , the average expense for each of the orphans under our care, during the past year; amounted to l. s. d. , without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me, the sum of , l. s. ¼ d. has been given to me for the orphans, as the result of prayer to god, since the commencement of the work. the total sum given for the other objects, since the commencement of the work, amounts to , l. s. ¾ d.; and that which has come in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day schools, from the commencement up to may , , amounts to , l. s. d. besides this, also a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, etc., have been given for the use of the orphans. , the lord is pleased to continue to allow us to see fruit in connexion with the orphan work, and we hear still again and again of cases, in which those, who were formerly under our care, have been led to declare themselves openly for the lord, besides those, in whom we saw the work of grace manifestly begun, before they left the orphan house. , the total of the current expenses for the orphans and the various other objects of the institution, was l. s. ¼ d. during the past year. matters connected with my own personal affairs, from may , , to may , . dec. , . during this year the lord has been pleased to give me . by anonymous donations through the boxes . . . . . . £ ¼ . through donations from believers in bristol, not anonymously . . . through donations from believers not residing in bristol . . . . through presents in clothes, provisions, etc., worth at least . . . ------ £ ¼ this, dear reader, is the writer's statement after having acted on these principles for more than years. you see, not for a week, a month, or even a year, how the writer has been dealt with by the lord, after he had set out in this way; but, in all simplicity he has related to you, how it has been with him year after year. and now, after more than years, he is still acting on these principles, and is more than ever convinced of their truthfulness and their blessedness; and he is delighted in being able to prove to you, to god's honour, that even for this life he has been no loser by acting out the light which the lord has been pleased to give to him. may , . yesterday evening it was years, since i came to labour in bristol. in looking back upon this period, as it regards the lord's goodness to my family and myself, the scriptural knowledge institution, and the saints among whom i seek to serve him, i exclaim, what has god wrought! i marvel at his kindness, and yet i do not; for such is his manner; and, if it please him that i remain longer on earth, i expect, not fewer manifestations of his love, but more and more. since my beloved friend and fellow labourer and i first came to bristol, believers have been received into fellowship, which number, with the we found in communion, makes . but out of that number have fallen asleep, have been separated from fellowship, have left us, some however merely through circumstances, and in love, and have left bristol; so that there are only remaining in communion. farewell, christian reader. i reckon it one of the greatest privileges which the lord has been pleased to bestow upon me to be able to finish this volume. remember the writer in your prayers. he greatly needs them. numberless are his difficulties and trials, as well as his joys and blessings! pray that he may be helped of god to finish his course with joy, and to continue his service without growing weary. the end. the prayer book explained by the rev. percival jackson, m.a., jesus college, cambridge. part i. the daily offices and the litany. cambridge: at the university press. "_the book requireth but orderly reading._" hooker, v. xxxi. . {v} preface. to those who believe in one holy catholic church wherein dwelleth the holy spirit, it will always be difficult to distrust the service book of any branch of it. the old claim made at jerusalem with regard to the vexed questions of the church's infancy, _it seemed good to the holy ghost, and to us_ (acts xv. ), rested not on the presence there of the good and wise, on the prudence or self-sacrifice of those who had hazarded their lives for the name, but on the reality of the lord's promised presence. not because there were apostles there, but because those there were the catholic and apostolic church, they asked and received the guidance of the holy spirit. it was a living and lasting presence, touching with saving grace the treatment of such questions as the observance of mosaic precepts, {vi} the eating of bought meat, as well as purity of life. we cannot doubt, then, that many services which have been criticised on afterthoughts were essentially constructed in accordance with the faith once for all delivered to the church. to renounce this conviction with regard to our own church of england is to surrender its inheritance. men of various tastes may prefer diverse rites: reasonable sequence may suggest one method, and glowing impulse another, fear of misunderstanding a third; but that which has seemed good to the holy ghost and his temple, the church, demands that we shall endeavour to believe it to be good, and use it in the temper of faith. the critical spirit, as we now use criticism, is not the spirit of worship. for the spirit of worship is moved by faith--faith supremely in god, but also faith in the words which we use, and in the people with whom we use them. thus the truest cure for doubt is worship. if my faith in a friend weakens i must go to see him, to speak with him, to restore our mutual {vii} confidence and love. in like manner, if my faith in god through christ weakens, i must go to him, speak with him, seek a return of the old confidence and love. in the belief that god is calling us to know him more perfectly by the worship which we offer in heart and life, and in the confidence that our branch of the church has the guidance of the indwelling spirit, this book is dedicated to his glory. p. j. may . {ix} contents. chapter i. page extempore worship and forms of worship . . . . . . . . . . variations of words and phrases: _a._ variety of method . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _b._ variety in singing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . -- _c._ variations in the component parts . . . . . . . . chapter ii. origin of morning and evening prayer . . . . . . . . . . . the day hours . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . general scheme of the day hours . . . . . . . . . . . . . names and titles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . chapter iii. the model--the lord's prayer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _a._ two kinds of worship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _b._ praise and prayer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _c._ intention and setting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _d._ the key-note of prayer and praise . . . . . . . . _e._ forms of worship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _f._ worship-forms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _table of worship forms_ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _appendix a. hooker on the use of worship-forms_ . . . . chapter iv. morning and evening prayer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . the two headings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . map of the two services . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . sentences, exhortation, confession, absolution . . . . . . rubrics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . duplication of phrases . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . chapter v. praise i. the psalms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . the first lord's prayer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . the ladder of praise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . -- versicles and psalms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . psalms in daily services . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . chapter vi. praise ii. the lessons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . a. the study of the bible a help to worship: the old testament-- . its agreement with the new . . . . its teachings . . . . . . . . . -- . its parts--(_a_) the law, (_b_) the psalms, (_c_) the prophets . . . . . . . . . . . -- the new testament-- . its parts--(_a_) the history, (_b_) the epistles, (_c_) the revelation . . . . . . . . . . the apocrypha-- . its place in the prayer book . . b. lessons and lectionaries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . -- jewish lectionaries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . early christian lectionaries . . . . . . . . . . . . . our own lectionary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . the reader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _appendix b. justin martyr's description of holy_ _baptism and holy communion_ . . . . . . . . chapter vii. praise iii. hymns in the daily services . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . the day hour hymns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . -- the canticles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _map of the lessons and their canticles_ . . . . . . . . . chapter viii. praise iv. te deum laudamus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . the latin original. its three stanzas . . . . . . . . . . notes on the words . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . note on the doxology . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . chapter ix. praise v. the canticles, continued . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . magnificat, benedicite, cantate domino . . . . . . . . . . canticles which follow the second lesson: . . . . . . . . benedictus, nunc dimittis, jubilate deo, deus misereatur . chapter x. praise vi. the creeds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . the apostles' creed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . uses of creeds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . history of the apostles' creed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . creeds in the bible . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . primitive creeds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . close of the praise service . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . chapter xi. reason, history, and revelation . . . . . . . . . . . . . i. about god, _a._ what reason has to say . . . . . . . . _b._ what the bible revelation has to say . ii. about jesus christ, _a._ what the outside world said . _b._ what the bible says . . . . . iii. about the holy ghost. what the bible says . . . . . . chapter xii. excursus on the 'athanasian' creed . . . . . . . . . . . . chapter xiii. the service of prayer. i. preces and collects . . . . . . worship-forms in the prayer service . . . . . . . . . . . the prayer service rubrics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . a. preces, ; b. collects, ; c. the other prayers . . chapter xiv. the service of prayer. ii. anthems . . . . . . . . . . . _a._ simple anthems . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . example. advent setting of venite . . . . . . . . . . -- _b._ compound anthems . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . example. the easter anthems in their original form . . -- praise and prayer anthems . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . hymns as anthems . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . chapter xv. the service of prayer. iii. the litany . . . . . . . . . ancient litanies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . rogation litanies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . structure of the litany . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . i. our cry to christ, . ii. our cry to the father, . iii. appeal for help, . iv. pressing anxieties of the moment, . v. final commendation of our prayers to christ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _appendix c. lessons in the day hours_ . . . . . . . . . . _appendix d. pliny's letter to trajan_ . . . . . . . . . . _appendix e. the addition of filioque_ . . . . . . . . . _appendix f. greek origin of litanies_ . . . . . . . . . . _tables of dates_ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . { } chapter i. extempore worship and forms of worship. there is no such special merit in monotony as to require that the worship of god should be conducted wholly in one method rather than in several. rather it must be acknowledged that there is merit in variety if it be subjected to dignity and order. for a certain measure of variety arrests and engages the attention of the worshippers and sustains their interest. variations of words and phrases. much has been said from time to time concerning extempore prayers and extempore praise, as opposed to those which are more carefully prepared and agreed upon. the discussion has been somewhat confused by the misuse of the word extempore. prior to the invention of printing every one who had to conduct services was required to know them by heart, so as to be able to say them without book. the fact that he used no book did not make the prayers extempore. in like manner one who is about to conduct the prayers of a congregation may carefully prepare his subjects, phrases, and words, so as to avoid disorder in the subjects and unfitness in the words. his prayers in that case are not strictly extempore. { } if however he determines to leave the order of subjects and the choice of words and phrases to the impulse of the moment, his thoughts may travel too fast, or too slowly, or too irregularly for the essential result: for the blessing which christ promised is to those who _unite_ in worship. (s. matth. xviii. , .) when a few people gather together with the same difficulties, temptations, dangers, sins, successes, a truly extempore prayer may be made by one of them without creating any discord of desire amongst the rest: but as soon as the congregation begins to include men and women of different occupations, tempers, ideas, talents--if moreover the persons for whom intercessions should be made are widely scattered and very variously employed--it becomes necessary to supplement by careful preparation the impulses of any one who leads the worship of a congregation. there is also great advantage in choosing the best phrases for expressing and including the worship of all. we cannot doubt that the earliest prayers of the collect form had local colouring; but those which have survived for our use are so expressed as to include many local applications, and a very great variety of circumstances. further, it will be clear that an extempore prayer may be part of a form of service, just as much as a printed prayer. if the service is composed of, the short prayer, a lesson, the long prayer, the sermon and several hymns at fixed, or unfixed, places, the service is a form. the description of the holy communion in the time immediately after the death of s. john the evangelist (justin martyr, _apology_ i. - , { } see p. ) shows us a form which provided for the essentials of such a service, with prayers, praises, lessons, offertory, consecration, communion, in order, although he who conducted the service had a certain amount of liberty in using parts of it. we may assume then that forms are good, and that it is good to have preparation and order and chosen phrases. the next question is how to provide for that variety which shall sustain interest and engage the mind of the worshipper in the great business of his service. we may consider variety of method, variety of singing, and variations in the component parts of the service. (_a_) variety of method. the worshippers are divided into two or more parties who take up their parts alternately, or together. it is evident that such a division may be made in many ways. those which have been adopted in former times have resulted in the survival of five varieties for general congregations [see chap. iii. f.]. (_b_) variety in singing. there were of old four methods of singing the psalms: . direct or choral. . antiphonal. . responsorial. . continuous. . the _direct_ or choral singing was done by the whole choir: . the _antiphonal_ by the two halves of the choir alternately: . the _responsorial_ by the priest and choir alternately: . the _continuous_ by the priest alone. { } a careful study of the rubrics will show that great liberty is allowed in the prayer book in respect to the singing. there is a rubric in the morning service which prescribes the manner of saying or singing gloria patri, viz. that it is to be responsorial. the order is that after the morning and evening canticles _as it was in the beginning_, &c. is to be an answer to _glory be to the father_, &c. and this order may be found also after the versicles of mattins and evensong, _o lord, open thou our lips_. it might be inferred from this that the psalms and canticles were intended to be sung in the same way. but it is more likely that it was designed to continue an ancient freedom of choice which is now represented in our custom of using the antiphonal method when we sing, and the responsorial when we say them. the division of gloria patri into two verses was, no doubt, intended in any case. the prayer book does not recommend the fourth method; many rubrics indicate that the congregation should take a substantial share in the services with voice and heart. (_c_) variations in the component parts of services. . praise and prayer. . variations; from service to service, " day to day, " week to week, " morning to evening, " season to season. { } chapter ii. origin of morning and evening prayer. the services in the prayer book may be roughly classed as ( ) those which are used every week: and ( ) those which are used more rarely. the principal service is the holy communion; which is provided with a special collect, epistle and gospel for each week, and for holy days of special importance as being connected with the lord's life on earth, or with his immediate disciples. the weekly collection, enjoined by s. paul in the churches of galatia and corinth ( cor. xvi. ), suggests that the holy communion was from the first the usual sunday service. and this is confirmed when we find s. paul making a rapid journey from greece to jerusalem (acts xx. ), but waiting seven days at troas so as to be with the disciples there upon the _first day of the week, when they came together to break bread_ (acts xx. , ): cf. also a similar sojourn at tyre on the same voyage (acts xxi. ). but the holy communion was not the only regular service. peter and john went to the temple (acts iii. ) _at the hour of prayer, being the ninth hour_. _peter went up upon the housetop to pray_ (acts x. ) _about the sixth hour_. { } cornelius saw the vision _about the ninth hour_ (acts x. ). _they were all together in one place_ (acts ii. ) upon the day of pentecost--and it was _the third hour of the day_ (acts ii. ). these hours may have been suggested to them as christians by the solemn scenes of the crucifixion of our lord (s. mark xv. , , &c.)[ ]. the constant sense of responsibility and danger tended, of course, to the frequent assembling for united prayer. it was natural to adopt some such method as that in psalm lv. , evening, morning and noon (cf. daniel vi. ). to these were added others: in the rd century for example we hear of one at dawn and one at sunset: the former, being especially a praise service, came to be known as _lauds_ or _mattin-lauds_; the latter was soon called _vespers_ (vesper=evening). in the th century we hear of two more, making up the _seven times a day_ of psalm cxix. . during this growth of daily services there is sometimes a { } doubt whether the night service is included in the reckoning: but eventually we find for the daytime mattin-lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, vespers, and compline. the precise time of each is not defined by its name. if mattins (i.e. lauds) was not finished when prime was due, these two services were united. but the office for terce might be said at the nd hour or at the rd: and in like manner sext belonged to any of the three hours before ; and none to the three hours between and . thus the day was divided into portions of three hours each: each portion had its own service, named from its close, but said at a variable time according to the appointment of the ordinary[ ]. the tendency was to appoint an early part of the three hours for the service; and this is visible in the word 'noon,' if it is true that o'clock is so named from the custom of saying none at that time. _compline_ (completorium) is so called from its completing the services of the day. it will be noted that many of the names of church officers and many other terms having a technical church meaning are greek in their derivation. archangel, angel, bishop, priest, deacon, church, ecclesiastical, apostle, prophet, martyr, baptism, epistle, evangelical, are instances of this; and many languages show by these and other terms that christian churches derive much of their organization from times and places where the greek tongue was prevalent. { } it might be thought perhaps that the latin derivation of the names of the day hour services would imply a more local and a western source for these hours of prayer. but some of them are, as we have shown, very early in their origin, and indeed there is evidence from books that something of the same order was very early observed in the eastern parts of christendom also. this frequency of services had a great charm for men who lived together and worked together in communities, with no great distance between their work and their church, and who were able to fit their day's tasks and necessary meals to the intervals between the services. it was not so suitable for mixed occupations or for isolated houses: and as populations increased, it became evident that a less frequent assembly would be more conducive to united worship. general scheme of the day hours. we will not enter into the minute differences of structure which are found in one or other of the day hours. the following list will show the order of a service which is nearly identical with each of them.: our father, &c. versicles. hymn. several psalms divided into portions by _glorias_ and _antiphons_. { } several lessons divided by responses. canticles. lesser litany. our father, &c. versicles. creed. versicles. confession. collects. thus they followed the general division of worship into praise and prayer. by enlarging one portion and diminishing another a special character was given to certain services. thus lauds was made joyful by having many psalms. the chief lessons from the bible were read in the mattins service when it was said before lauds. the union of those two services resulted in the omission of many of the psalms. (see preface "concerning the service of the church" in our prayer book.) the day hour services were not precisely alike even in their outline: but they had a certain similarity which suggested the plan which has been adopted in the morning and evening services of the book of common prayer. there were always two parts,--praise: and prayer. [ ]each of these parts began with the lord's prayer. the praise part always had something of the nature of psalms and lessons: the prayers always had collects. the praises had praise-versicles and the prayers had prayer-versicles. also as time went on litanies became usual for special days of the week. { } it was easy therefore to recast the seven services in the shape which they now have. _praise_. the lord's prayer. versicles. psalms. lessons. creed. _prayers_. the lord's prayer. versicles. collects. thanksgivings. names and titles. the services of our church were translated into english in . many alterations were made at that time. the seven day hours were combined into two services--mattins and evensong: the holy communion service was assimilated in some respects to eastern liturgies: the rules of variation for days and seasons were simplified: interruptions were avoided by the omission of many verses and responds, antiphons, &c.: better provision was made for continuous reading of holy scripture. the change from latin, which had once been a commonly-spoken language, to the language spoken in england is the alteration which produced the greatest effect upon congregational worship, and the smallest amount of difference in the worship itself: for if you understood both languages it would not matter to you which of them you used. { } the latin prayers had been known by their first words. just as we now know a prayer as _our father_, or a doxology as _glory be to the father_, so formerly they were known as _pater noster_, and _gloria patri_. some of these titles have survived. _credo_ (_i believe_) has been shortened into _creed_. we use as a creed the hymn _quicunque vult_ (whosoever will). the canticles still are known by their first words in latin, _te deum, benedicite_, &c., and so is the th psalm, _venite, exultemus domino_. the _lesser litany_ is a name given to the three petitions, _lord, have mercy upon us._ _christ, have mercy upon us._ _lord, have mercy upon us._ they are used before the lord's prayer as an invocation of the holy trinity. we proceed to examine the foundation of this order in worship. the model bequeathed to us by our lord is known to us as _the lord's prayer_, often called "_our father_" from the first words. [ ] haec sunt septenis propter quae psallimus horis: matutina legat christum qui crimina purgat. prima replet sputis. causam dat tertia mortis. sexta cruci nectit. latus ejus nona bipertit. vespera deponit. tumulo completa reponit; which may be translated: seven are the hours at which we sing and pray; mattins for christ who takes our sins away, prime shows him mocked, and terce says why he died. sext shows his cross, and none his pierced side. vespers his taking down commemorates, and compline how they buried him relates. thus day by day we sing and pray christ and him crucified. [ ] the ordinary, i.e. the ordinary judge in such matters, viz. the bishop. [ ] see p. . { } chapter iii. the model. the lord's prayer. "after this manner therefore pray ye." s. matth. vi. . the pronouns used in the lord's prayer are 'thy,' 'us,' 'our.' it is the voice of a people speaking to god. even in private we may not pray for self alone; we must include our friends, neighbours, and all others. for this reason the lord's prayer is singularly adapted to the services of a congregation. its petitions are short and direct, and therefore easily thought by every one at the same moment. this is an important point, because unity of intention is the essence of congregational worship. (s. matth. xviii. , .) notice the order of the pronouns in the seven petitions: ( hallowed be thy name. thy. ( thy kingdom come. ( thy will be done. ( give us this day our daily bread. ( forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive us, our. ( them that trespass against us. ( lead us not into temptation. ( deliver us from evil. { } there are, it appears, two motives which prompt a man to worship god. one of these is god; man himself is the other. a. two kinds of worship. worship means 'worthiness,' and thence 'regarding anyone as worthy.' for this reason a magistrate is called 'his worship'; and a guild or company is called 'worshipful.' in the marriage service the man says to his wife "i thee worship" because he sets her before all else. in wyclif's bible (s. matth. xix. ) we find "worschipe thi fadir and thi moder." in old days _any act of mind or body acknowledging the worthiness of another was an act of worship_. in later days the word 'worship' has been limited. _limitation_ . since god alone is perfectly worthy, worship is now ascribed usually to god alone: _any act of mind or body acknowledging the worthiness of god may still be called an act of worship_. for instance, in col. iii. -iv. , the duties of mankind in daily life are set forth as a constant acknowledgment of the presence of god. the repetition of the word (_kurios_) meaning 'lord' and 'master'-- times in verses--falls on the ear like a peal of bells, calling us to make daily life an unbroken worship of god. _limitation_ . we ought not to forget that life is all one piece; and that the word worship should describe what we do and say outside our prayers, as well as what we say and think in prayer and praise. the word is, however, more commonly limited to words and thoughts. these two limitations lead us { } to a second definition of worship as _words and thoughts which acknowledge the worthiness of god_. we have nearly abandoned the word as describing the honour paid by one creature to another, and but rarely use it of acts of the body. god is always the object of worship: but the subject of worship is two-fold--we may speak of ourselves or we may speak of our god. when we chiefly think of god in worship we call it praise: when we chiefly think of ourselves we call it prayer. these are then the two kinds of worship--praise and prayer. it is evident that the lord's prayer teaches us to put praise in the higher place. b. praise and prayer. praise. there are two ways in which respect is paid to a man, viz. ( ) outspoken praise, ( ) deference to his words. in like manner we praise god ( ) by dwelling with joy and gladness on his perfections; and ( ) by listening with reverence to his word. prayer, on the other hand, is that kind of worship which acknowledges god as the source of all our help. our needs are necessarily in our minds when we pray. we think of them in order to ask him to help us; and we think of them again when we thank him for the help which we have already had. thanksgiving might be coupled with praise because its aim is to glorify god: but as its motive is the thought of human wants which have been already supplied, thanksgiving is placed with the prayers, which also relate to human wants. { } we must therefore expect to find in worship; i. praise. ( ) declaration of god's excellence. ( ) attention to his word. ii. prayer ( ) petitions for grace and help. ( ) thanksgivings for grace and help. c. intention and setting. the same words may serve for praise and for prayer. the plainest meaning of "hallowed be thy name" is praise to god. but it may be also a prayer to him to cause his name to be hallowed. if we have no reason to the contrary, we shall use the lord's prayer as an act of praise and prayer--praise in its first three petitions, prayer in its last four. if, however, we want to ask him to cause his name to be hallowed and his kingdom to come and his will to be done, we can turn it all into a prayer. this direction of our minds into a certain channel is called 'intention'. we have already said that unity of intention is the essence of congregational worship. hence the intention must be the same in all the worshippers if they use words suitable for both praise and prayer. if one is saying "hallowed be thy name" and thinking chiefly of god's holiness, his intention will be different from that of a neighbour who is thinking chiefly of the wickedness of sin. we need some agreement, that our intention may be the same. this agreement might have been left to the knowledge of those who take part in the service. they might have been expected to learn what the intention is, at each place when the lord's prayer is said. or it might { } have been stated in a rubric, or direction, at the head of the prayer. neither of these methods is adopted in the book of common prayer. instead of them, the prayer itself is so arranged as to proclaim the intention. when it is to be used for praise, the words "_for thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever_" are placed at the end: when it is to be used for prayer, the lesser litany "_lord have mercy upon us, christ have mercy upon us, lord have mercy upon us_" is placed at the beginning. it is convenient to call this the 'setting'. when the lord's prayer is 'set' for praise, every petition in it is to be said with that _intention_. we shall then unite in praising god for the glory of his holy name, the majesty of his kingdom, the power of his will, and also as the giver, the forgiver, the leader and deliverer. the thought of our weaknesses will be as much as possible left out, that we may rejoice in the perfections of god. in like manner, when the lord's prayer is 'set' for prayer, the thought of human wants will be present in every petition. we have great need to pray that god will cause his name to be hallowed, his kingdom to come, and his will to be done, on earth as in heaven, as well as to ask him for the necessaries of life, the forgiveness of sins, guidance, and deliverance from evil. d. the key-note of prayer and praise. "when ye pray, say, our father, &c." s. luke xi. . we can now understand why the lord's prayer is used twice in the same service. the praises begin with it and the prayers begin with it. the setting of { } the lord's prayer will always proclaim what kind of service is beginning[ ]. thus the lord's prayer is made to strike the key-note of the service, or part of a service, to which it is prefixed. e. forms of worship. we have seen that unity of intention is necessary to congregational worship. when a few people, animated by the same sentiments, are drawn together by one motive, and incur the same dangers, it matters little whether they use a form of worship or not. whatever words are used in their name, their unity of intention is secured by the fact that they have no diversity of desires. if the small body becomes a large one and times grow peaceful, diversity of desires will destroy unity of worship unless they adopt a form. forms of worship should, if possible, unite the most diverse features of character, occupation, danger, trial, suffering, joy, &c. in the expressions of praise or prayer which are common to them all. local colouring and personal references are admissible only when they arouse a common emotion. the lord's prayer { } is in this, as in other respects, an ideal form of worship. christian worship began amongst people who were already accustomed to forms. the jews had psalms for worship ( chron. xvi. - ), and two lessons in their synagogue service (acts xv. , first lesson: acts xiii. , second lesson). the two lessons were followed by the exhorter (acts xiii. ; st luke iv. , ). the word _amen_, being hebrew, gives further evidence of the derivation of the first christian forms from the synagogue services, with, of course, a christian character infused into them ( cor. xiv. , ; cf. deut. xxvii. - ). amen, as a hebrew adjective, means _firm, faithful_; and, as an adverb, _verily_, or, as the catechism explains it, _so be it_. "its proper place is where one person confirms the words of another, and adds his wish for success to the other's vows and predictions" (gesenius). each of the first four books of the psalms ends with it--see psalms xli., lxxii., lxxxix., cvi. for some time the first christians were able to resort to the temple and synagogues, and both worship and teach there (acts ii. , iii. , , , , v. , , , : xiii. , , xiv. , xvii. , , xix. ). they were joined by a number of the priests (acts vi. ) whose help in arranging the services would bring a considerable influence in the same direction. at ephesus (acts xix. ) a division arose in the synagogue, causing s. paul and the christian disciples to remove into a school. at corinth, for a similar { } reason, they set up the christian worship in the next house to the synagogue, and the ruler of the synagogue went with them (acts xviii. , ). it is not very surprising that under these circumstances they derived some of their forms of worship from the synagogue. forms assist the mind to take its due part in the worship which we offer to the almighty. worship is offered with body, mind and spirit. if one of these encroaches on the others, their share is in danger. if the tongue and the knees and the hands are too much engaged in it, the mind grows weary or idle. if the mind is too busily employed, the spirit has a diminished share, or the body is indolent. it is necessary to provide occupation for the mind, but not to occupy it in following great mental efforts for which it is unprepared. if the mind is unprepared, it no sooner reaches one point than it has to follow the speaker to another; and thereby the spirit loses its power of speeding the utterance to the throne of god. f. worship-forms. (see table, p. . cf. chap. i, p. .) we find that, in the services, shares are distributed to the worshippers in five different ways, which may be called worship-forms. the table on p. should be carefully studied. hooker's description of them (e. p. v. xxxix. ) is a little difficult to make out; but it will be found to verify our table. (see appendix a, pp. , .) { } walter travers was reader at the temple church in london, when ( ) richard hooker was appointed to be master of the temple. travers had been a friend and favourite of thomas cartwright, a severe critic of the order and discipline of the church of england. travers took up the criticisms, and so attacked hooker that the latter in self-defence wrote his books on _the laws of ecclesiastical polity_ ( ), wherein he replies to cartwright's and travers' criticisms. the worship-forms have been in use for so long that it is scarcely possible to discuss their origin. the traces of them in the bible are interesting: . amen. cor. xiv. ; rev. xxii. . . responsorial or interjectional. s. luke ii. , . . anthem. exodus xv. ; isaiah vi. . . litany. . preceded. exodus xxiv. , xix. , , xx. - . the prayer book furnishes examples of praise and prayer in each form, excepting the litany form, which is used only for prayer. but there is no reason why that also should not be used for praise: the th psalm will show how this might be done. { } the five kinds of worship forms (see hooker, _eccl. pol._ v. xxxix. .) examples-- examples-- prayer praise . the minister amen form the collects prayer of offers and the consecration people endorse in holy it communion (see cor. xiv. ) . minister and responsorial, hymn at sursum corda people pursue or ordination of in holy different lines interjectional priests communion interrupting form preces before versicles one another collects before psalms . the congregation antiphonal, "from our the psalms form two or anthem enemies, &c." in mattins companies which form -- verses in and reply to one the litany evensong another . the minister litany the main body names the subject form of the litany and the people offer the prayer (or praise) . a portion of preceded the lesson and holy scripture prayer or commandments canticle is read and the praise in holy prayer or praise communion completes it as an act of worship { } appendix a. cartwright, attacking the prayer book, or later, wrote-- "for the singing of psalms by course and side after side, although it be very ancient yet it is not commendable, and so much the more to be suspected for that the devil hath gone about to get it so great authority, partly by deriving it from ignatius' time, and partly in making the world believe that this came from heaven, and that the angels were heard to sing after this sort," &c. to this hooker (_eccl. polity_, v. xxxix. ) replies-- "and if the prophet david did think that the very meeting of men together and their accompanying one another to the house of god should make the bond of their love insoluble, and tie them in a league of inviolable amity (ps. lv. ); how much more may we judge it reasonable to hope that the like effects may grow _in each of the people towards other_, in them [sidenote: anthem] all towards their pastor, and in their pastor towards every of them, between whom there daily and interchangeably pass, in the hearing of god himself, and in the presence of his holy angels, so many heavenly acclamations, exultations, provocations, petitions, songs of { } comfort, psalms of praise and thanksgiving: in all which [sidenote: amen] particulars, as when _the pastor maketh their suits and they with one voice testify a general assent thereunto; or when he joyfully beginneth, and they with like alacrity follow_, dividing [sidenote: interjection] between them the sentences wherewith they strive which shall most show his own and stir up others' zeal, to the glory of that god whose name they magnify; [sidenote: litany] or _when he proposeth unto god their necessities, and they their own requests for relief in every of them; or when he lifteth up his voice like a trumpet_ to proclaim unto them the laws [sidenote: preceded] of god, _they adjoining_, though not as israel did by way of generality, a cheerful promise, 'all that the lord hath commanded we will do,' yet that which god doth no less approve, that which savoureth more of meekness, that which testifieth rather a feeling knowledge of our common imbecility, _unto the several branches thereof several lowly and humble requests_ for grace at the merciful hands of god to perform the thing which is commanded; or when they wish reciprocally each other's ghostly happiness, or when he by exhortation raiseth them up, and they by protestation of their readiness declare he speaketh not in vain unto them; these interlocutory forms of speech, what are they else, but most effectual, partly testifications, and partly inflammations, of all piety?" [ ] there are two or three apparent exceptions which on examination prove the rule. at the beginning of the communion service the intention is so plain and the _lord have mercy_ is repeated so often with the commandments, that it is left out before the lord's prayer. at baptism and confirmation there is no setting, probably because the thanksgiving close of those services has the character of both praise and prayer: and this certainly is the effect of the double setting in the churching service. { } chapter iv. morning and evening prayer. it must not be supposed that these services were composed suddenly in their present shape. they are indeed formed on the pattern given by the lord's prayer; and they make use of the methods which we have described--intention, setting, key-note, worship-forms--which have always been the methods used by the church as far back as we have any evidence. but from time to time alterations have been made in the details. the lord's prayer has, for example, been used as a key-note for praise without its doxology; or confession has been placed amongst the prayers; or psalms have been more used, and lessons less used. in spite of such variations, the general principles may be traced in all church services; and much interesting study may be spent on the comparison of our services with those which preceded them. we have already said something (chap. ii.) about this, and when we study these two services in detail, it is very important to remember that they grew out of the older services. the daily psalms and lessons { } might be rearranged, the number of versicles increased or diminished, the rule about varying the saying of a creed, or an alleluia, might be altered: but it is the same pattern with the same methods of worship now, as it was when the services were all said in latin and when each diocese in this country had some differences from all the other dioceses. we will now proceed to consider these two services in their details. the order for morning and evening prayer, daily to be said and used throughout the year. _the morning and evening prayer shall be used in the accustomed place of the church, chapel, or chancel: except it shall be otherwise determined by the ordinary of the place. and the chancels shall remain as they have done in times past._ _and here is to be noted, that such ornaments of the church, and of the ministers thereof, at all times of their ministration, shall be retained, and be in use, as were in this church of england, by the authority of parliament, in the second year of the reign of king edward the sixth._ the importance of the above heading has been lost sight of, through the manner of its printing. in most prayer books it will be found on a page by itself or at the foot of a table of the golden numbers. it is really the heading of a chapter which contains both { } morning and evening service. until the last revision of the book in , the chapter containing morning and evening prayer was closed after the athanasian creed with a rubric _thus endeth the order of morning and evening prayer throughout the whole year_. although that rubric has been omitted, this heading includes both services in one chapter. evening prayer] this part of the chapter, prior to , was not printed out in full; only the variations from morning prayer were set forth. daily to be said and used] see preface--_and all priests and deacons are to say daily the morning and evening prayer, either privately or openly . . . the curate . . . shall say the same in the parish church or chapel where he ministereth_. ornaments of the church] the canons of order a number of things to be provided at the charges of the parish, which may be included under this head, such as communion table, pulpit, reading-desk, font, alms-chest, alms-basin, vessels for holy communion, bible, common prayer book, book of homilies, parchment register book and coffer. it would not be easy to make a complete list of things authorised by this rubric and elsewhere. and of the ministers thereof] the discussion of the meaning of the ornaments of the ministers belongs chiefly to the communion service. there has been no question that for morning and evening service a surplice and hood are ordered to be worn. the second year of the reign of king edward the sixth] the reference is to the { } statute of the year - , whereby the first (english) revision was enabled to be enforced by law. edward vi.'s reign began on jan. , . this statute passed the house of lords on jan. th, - , and is referred to in the statute of as belonging to the second year of king edward vi., although the session lasted into his third year. the order for morning prayer, daily throughout the year. this fresh heading is necessary because the former included the order for evening service. morning and evening prayer (called also mattins and evensong: see table of proper lessons) are two divisions of the same chapter. these two services are very much alike. the map on the next page shows their construction. an examination of this map will show that the plan of the lord's prayer is closely followed. there are two parts and an introduction. of the two parts praise comes first, as in the lord's prayer. each of the two parts begins with the lord's prayer, which is arranged with a setting so as to mark the character of what follows. every piece of the praise portion is set with a praise-termination, or doxology: and this portion includes both kinds of praise, viz. outspoken praise, and reverent hearing of god's word. in like manner the prayer portion includes the two kinds of prayer, viz. petition for the wants of men, and thanksgiving for what they have received. { } thus these two services are formed in obedience to the rule that we are to take the lord's prayer as our model (s. matth. vi. ). introduction. text and sermon on confession. the act of confession. god's answer to confession. praise. _praise-terminations_ the lord's prayer . . . . . . thine is the kingdom. ( . interjected verses ) psalms ( . xcv. (at mattins) ) gloria patri. ( . special, i.--cl. (as ) ( appointed) ) lessons ( . old testament . . . canticle or , ( . new testament . . . canticle or . the apostles' creed . . . . . . amen. prayer. the lord's prayer. preces or interjected verses anticipating the collects. ( . for spiritual needs, collects ( anthem or choral prayer uniting the ( two kinds of collect, ( . for physical needs and earthly relations. { } in the introductory portion was prefixed. _confession_, which formerly occurred in the prayers, had been omitted in . it now forms the introduction. the reason for this beginning is set forth in a short sermon which is usually known as the _exhortation_, and has, like other sermons, a text, commonly known as a _sentence_ (see rubric at the head of the sentences). this is in accordance with very ancient custom[ ], and with the very natural sense that man must receive permission before he approaches god. god's answer to confession is the _absolution_ or _remission_ of sins. as an illustration of this we may think of esther, when she went to make her petition of the king (esther iv. , v. - ). the king extending his sceptre gave her permission to speak. the sentences are verses, chosen, from the psalms, from the prophets, from the gospels, from the epistles. they represent either man's cry to god (nos. , , , , ) or god's call to man (nos. , , , , ) or both (no. ). { } the exhortation. _the scripture moveth us_] the sentences supply such places, but there are many more to be found in the bible. the word "moveth" has the same meaning as when a resolution is moved at a meeting. _when we assemble and meet together_ in church] four reasons are given, viz. the four great occupations of worship, without regard to their order in the service. we have already pointed out that _thanksgiving_ and _prayer_ spring from the sense of man's wants and his dependence on god; and that the _reading of god's word_ in these services is not for study but for _praise_. we shall therefore find the thanksgiving after the prayers, and the lessons (or lections) of holy scripture amongst the praises. the confession. the capital letters indicate that this was to be, as it were, dictated to the people, sentence by sentence: and the rubric implies the same. it will be remembered that books were scarce when this rubric was prepared. literal obedience to it is often very impressive, and a real addition to the solemnity of the act. on ordinary occasions in some churches, the minister leads the confession without the formal separation of each clause from the next. the expressions, used here to acknowledge the wickedness of sin and the defects of human life, will seem to be excessive whenever we are making light of { } our faults. but in proportion as we realise the perfection of god's holiness, we shall find them suitable to every shade of defect and sin. the comprehensive humility of this confession is designed to include both modified faults and grave offences--whether by commission, omission or indolence. the full acknowledgment of the different forms of sin is followed by prayer for mercy and recovery, relying upon the promises declared in jesus christ. the absolution. as god's answer to confession, this is pronounced by god's own messenger. the messenger must have full credentials; i.e. a deacon must not say the absolution. both here and in the confession, the _titles and attributes_ of god should be noticed. his power and mercy were made the grounds of our appeal to him. his mercy and authority are now made the grounds of his answer. the fulness of the declaration of them gives emphasis to the declaration of pardon which follows. we find four parts in the confession and the same parts in the absolution, viz. . the title and attributes of god. . the substantial part, i.e. confession or absolution. . the prayer which is founded thereon. . the appeal through our lord. { } rubrics. before the invention of printing ( th century), the directions in law manuscripts had been written in red, in order to distinguish them from the statutes. this distinction had been made also in service books and it has been continued to our own time. but every sheet which contains both black and red letters requires to be twice passed over a printing press. hence, for cheap books, italics are used instead of red letters to distinguish the directions from the prayers, &c. the directions are called rubrics (from lat. _ruber_=red) whether the distinction is made by the colour or the type. the rubrics about the confession and the absolution were in made more clear. the habit had grown up in some churches for the priest to say the absolution kneeling. the word _all_ was therefore inserted in the rubric about confession, and the words _standing, the people still kneeling_ were added to the rubric about absolution. thus _all kneeling_ includes the minister. this introductory part of the service was composed for the revision of , and was then printed only in the morning service, with a rubric ordering it to be used _at the beginning of morning prayer, and likewise of evening prayer_. in it was first printed out in full in the evening service, and the rubric was altered to agree therewith. _simplification of rubrics_. one aim of the revisers was simplicity of rules. as they sought variety of worship without excess, so they desired order of { } worship without complexity of regulations. anyone, looking casually over the prayer books of the sarum and other uses before , will be struck at once by the redness of many of the pages. this redness indicates rubrics, and helps us to realise what is meant in the prayer book preface (concerning the service of the church, section ) by _the number and hardness of the rules called the pie, and the manifold changings of the service_[ ]. in order to provide for the many occasions when a difference was to be made, rubrics had been multiplied and inserted at the places to which they applied. the revisers ( ) collected as many as possible at the beginning of each service, or at the end; and ( ) reduced the number of rubrics thus collected together, by reducing the number of variations which were to be provided for. duplication of phrases. it has often been noticed that pairs of words having nearly the same meaning frequently occur in the prayer book. this doubling of an idea may be called 'duplication'. duplication is of two kinds: either the words coupled together are so nearly identical in meaning that one is but a repetition of the other; or else the { } second word shows an advance upon the first. the former kind may be called 'parallel duplication' and is used for emphasis: the latter kind may be called 'progressive duplication', because it is used to represent the living idea which advances even while it is being uttered. instances of both abound in this part of the service, as well as in the collects and other prayers which we shall notice later on. examples of duplication. . _exhortation_. parallel. _goodness_ and _mercy_. _assemble_ and _meet together_. progressive. ( _acknowledge_ . . . . . suggesting reluctance. ( _confess_ . . . . . . . " willingness. ( _sins_ . . . . . . . . . the outward act. ( _wickedness_ . . . . . . the inward fault. ( _dissemble_ . . . . . . pretend they are not there. ( _cloke_ . . . . . . . . cover them up. ( _requisite_ . . . . . . what we should like. ( _necessary_ . . . . . . what we must have. ( _pray_ . . . . . . . . . ask earnestly. ( _beseech_ . . . . . . . " more earnestly. ( humble, lowly ( attitude with regard ) distrust ( ( to the past ) of self. ( ( penitent ( attitude with regard ) shame for ( ( to the present ) sin. ( ( obedient ( attitude with regard ) resolution ( ( to the future ) to leave ( ) the sin. { } . _confession_. parallel. _erred_ and _strayed_. progressive. ( _device_ . . . . . . . . . . an act of the mind. ( _desire_ . . . . . . . . . . an act of the heart. ( _left undone_ . . . . . . . omission. ( _done_ (wrongly) . . . . . . commission. cf. _sins, negligences and ignorances_ litany. ( _spare_ . . . . . . . . . . with regard to the past. ( _restore_ . . . . . . . . . " " " the future. ( _godly_ . . . . . . . . . . duty to god. ( _righteous_ . . . . . . . . " " man. ( _sober_ . . . . . . . . . . " " self. . _absolution_. parallel. _declare_ and _pronounce_. _truly_ (with truth), _unfeignedly_ (without pretence). progressive. ( _death_ . . . . . . . . . . life is something more than ( _turn and live_ . . . . . . the absence of death. ( _power_ . . the priest . . may pronounce. ( _commandment_ . . must " ( _absolution_ . . . . . . . . unloosing. ( _remission_ . . . . . . . . putting away. ( _pardoneth_ . . . . . . . . (fr. _pardonner_) god forgiveth. ( _absolveth_ . . . . . . . . (lat. _absolvo_) god looseth the sinner. ( _repent_ . . . . . . . . . . looking at self. ( _believe_ . . . . . . . . . " " god. { } ( _pure_ . . . . . . . . . . . absence of evil. ( _holy_ . . . . . . . . . . . presence of good. ( _repentance_ . . . . . that our present lives may ( please god. ( _god's holy spirit_ " our remaining lives ( may please him. it will be clear that if we keep from sin repentance is more intimately connected with our present lives than with the future. yet both repentance and the gift of the holy spirit are required for life now and hereafter. [ ] s. basil, _ad clerum neoc. ep._ , tom. , d, quoted by wheatley, says that "the primitive christians in all churches, immediately upon their entering into the house of prayer, made a confession of their sins to god with much sorrow and concern and tears, every man pronouncing his own confession with his own mouth." so ezra (ix. , , &c.) and daniel (ix. - ) approached god with confession. [ ] the pie. three explanations are offered of this word. ( ) _pi_=the first letter of the word _pinax_ _a chart_, i.e. the table of lessons, &c. ( ) pie,--as in magpie, piebald,--from the two colours of the page. ( ) litera picata--the pitch-coloured letter--which began each several order in the rules. the title of the sarum breviary makes pie equivalent to breviary or portiforium. the most attractive derivation is that which associates it with the greek word for a chart or map. { } chapter v. praise. i. the psalms. every part of the praise portion of the service has a praise-termination. we have already seen that the "intention" of the lord's prayer is marked for praise by a termination, viz. _for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever and ever_. this praise-termination belongs to the lord's prayer, and is not used for anything else. in like manner, other forms of praise have their own terminations. thus psalms and lessons are used for praise and have praise-terminations. when a psalm is used for praise, its termination is _glory be to the father_, &c. when a lesson is used for praise, its termination is a canticle--i.e. one of the bible songs of praise (from the latin _canticulum_, a little song, a sonnet). when the creed is used for praise, since nothing can be added to the facts of god's being and work except the will to recite them devoutly, its praise-termination is _amen_. { } the first lord's prayer. the lord's prayer may be regarded as a brief summary of the acts of worship which come after it. much care is required in order to use its familiar words with due devotion. when it is used, as here, for praise, the following may be taken as examples of the thoughts which should accompany its several phrases. our father, god is love. which art in heaven, god is a spirit. hallowed be thy name, god's holiness. thy kingdom come, god's power. thy will be done, god's perfectness. in earth as it is in heaven, holy, holy, holy, lord god almighty. give us this day our daily every good gift is from bread, above. forgive us our trespasses, the mercy of the lord is from everlasting to everlasting. lead us not into temptation, thou art about my path and about my bed. deliver us from evil, with power he commandeth the unclean spirits, &c. the ladder of praise. the various parts of the praise portion of the service are not repetitions of the same ideas. we { } have first, in the psalms, the simpler thoughts about god. the first lesson, taken from the old testament, advances to higher or more complex thoughts in praise of him. the next stage is reached in the second lesson; and the apostles' creed crowns the whole. thus a _ladder_ of praise is made whereby we climb up to the thought of god in his perfect being, which is the very essence of real worship. the first steps in this ladder are made by the use of the book of psalms, which is divided into sections for these daily services, and so arranged that they supply different psalms for mornings and evenings. if there are days in the month, those for the th day are repeated on the st: in february, the ( th and) th are omitted. there are many words which originally meant a song, but in course of time have come to mean a special kind of song, or the music which belongs to a song. thus _cantus_, a song, gives us _chant_, the music of a psalm verse; and _canticle_, a psalm after a lesson. _psalmos_, a song, gives us _psalm_, a hymn, but not metrical, _hymnos_, a song, gives us _hymn_, a song in metre. versicles and psalms. before the psalms begin there is an injunction to praise the lord exchanged between the minister and the people. four other versicles and gloria patri are interposed after the lord's prayer--all in the form of verse and respond. { } ps. li. is the psalmist's grateful cry when his sin was forgiven and his praises began to break forth. ps. lxx. supplies the second couplet. the _gloria patri_ follows these psalm verses. the venite exultemus domino, briefly called _venite_, is the th psalm. the rubric provides that it is to be said every day, but not twice on the th day[ ]. it is the first of the morning psalms, and formerly was sung with an anthem (see chapter xiii.) which was known as the invitatory, and varied with the season. antiphonal, i.e. alternate, singing dates from the services described in chronicles vi. - , , , from which it appears that there were three choirs of singers--one in the centre, and one on either hand. thus the interchange of replies from either side and a chorus of all the voices were provided, chron. xvi. - makes it clear that the psalms were sung, as indeed the word psalm (from gr. _psallo_, i sing) implies. see also neh. xii. . the authorised version (a.v.) of the bible is a translation made at the beginning of james i.'s reign, after the hampton court conference (jan. ). it was published in with a title-page stating that it was "appointed to be read in churches." there is, however, no evidence of any formal adoption of it until the statement made in the preface of the { } prayer book ( ) that "such portions of holy scripture as are inserted into the liturgy," "in the epistles and gospels especially, and in sundry other places . . . are now ordered to be read according to the last translation." it is evident that this "last translation" is the version of : for the epistles and gospels are quoted from it in the prayer book of . the translation of , then, is that from which are to be taken "such portions of holy scripture as are inserted into the liturgy." this appears to be the _general_ rule of the prayer book of . but that prayer book gives authority to various exceptions. the most notable of these is the provision, in a footnote to _the order how the psalter is appointed to be read_, "that the psalter followeth the division of the hebrews and the translation of the great english bible, set forth and used in the time of king henry the eighth and edward the sixth." if it be asked why the words of the psalms should be sung as in the great bible when other translations have superseded it for lessons, there is an easy answer. books were not cheap or common in the th and th centuries. many people had sung them so often as to know them by heart. a comparison of the bible and prayer book translations will show that there was no large gain to be set against the loss of congregational worship which must have resulted from changes. the bishops' bible supplanted the great bible in , and the authorised version was made in . both in and in the revisers decided to retain the version of - (the great bible) so far as the psalms and canticles { } were sung in the churches. this is plainly not an oversight in , for the revisers altered the words of the note in the preface, without changing the sense. psalms in daily services. the preface, "concerning the service of the church," states that "the ancient fathers have divided the psalms into seven portions, whereof every one was called a nocturn," and that "the same was . . . ordained . . . of a good purpose and for a great advancement of godliness"; but "of late time a few of them have been daily said and the rest utterly omitted." a writer of the ninth century says that s. jerome, at the bidding of the pope on the request of theodosius, arranged the psalms for the services of day and night in order to avoid the confusion arising from variety of uses[ ]. s. ambrose was a contemporary of s. jerome but died more than years before him. there are considerable differences between the plan which s. ambrose gave to his diocese of milan, and the plan which we may believe was generally given at the same time to the churches of the rest of western europe. but they are similar in many respects. in both, a division was made between the first psalms,--which were mainly allotted to the night services, i.e. to those which were afterwards called mattins,--and the rest which were mainly allotted to the evening service (vespers). we suppose that the division, mentioned in the { } preface, "into seven portions" refers to those psalms. of these , were used at other services, leaving for mattins, viz. on sunday and each for the week days. the ambrosian arrangement of them was for a fortnight. the greek church divides the whole book into portions and takes them, two portions at mattins and one at vespers, beginning on saturday night, omitting sunday vespers, and taking, on friday, the th, th and th portions. thus we see that a weekly singing of the book of psalms is derived from a very ancient time, when the division of the eastern and western churches of europe had not occurred. the sarum order, which we suppose was that which is referred to in the preface as having been "corrupted" by omissions, had the psalms allotted to mattins, as above described. for vespers, there were five each day from cx.-cxlvii., omitting the th and th, th, rd and, as explained below[ ], reckoning the th as two. all these were taken in order as they stand in the bible. those which were left out were allotted to other services, as, for instance, iv. to compline, lxiii. to lauds, &c., &c. psalm cxix. was to be said through every day, verses at prime, and verses each, at terce, sext and none. { } lauds was the great praise service of the day, and had a very beautiful arrangement of its psalms which always ended with one of the o.t. hymns followed by psalms cxlviii.-cl. the o.t. hymns on the seven days of the week were _benedicite_: isaiah xii.: isaiah xxxviii. - : sam. ii. - : exodus xv. - : hab. iii.: deut. xxxii. - . the beauty of many of these arrangements is undeniable: but they were rather intricate; and in practice they broke down. our revisers retained the underlying principles. by spreading the course over days they made it possible to use it all. they retained the th psalm as the first psalm of every day; and also the principle of having two daily services at which psalms occupied an important place. there are special psalms for six days in the year--the four great festivals, christmas, easter, ascension, and whitsun day, and the two great prayer-days, ash-wednesday and good friday. the preface explains that these special psalms are to be sung instead of the ordinary psalms on those days; and authorises the use of special psalms approved by the ordinary on other days. in using the book of psalms as a book of worship we must remember what was said of the _intention_ of our minds in respect to parts of the services. there are many psalms which supply us with the best prayers in trouble, penitence or any anxiety. but when using them in these services our intention is not prayer but praise, and the thought of god must inspire our devotions. { } it will often help us if we remember that god's righteousness is infinite, as well as his mercy. it is impossible for man in his present state to reconcile perfect righteousness and perfect mercy: for righteousness will have nothing to do with sin, while mercy forgives it. these two characteristics of god are revealed to us through christ in whom righteousness and peace are united; cf. ps. lxxxv. the psalms, composed by various people at different times, very frequently are the utterances of men in trouble: and they often sketch the thoughts or actions of the ideal man, in one or other of the four characters which answer to god's righteousness and god's mercy. for, in response to god's righteousness, man must be ( ) perfectly _penitent_, and ( ) in imitation of god, must _detest sin_: in imitation of god, ( ) he must be perfectly _forgiving_, and in response to god's mercy, ( ) he must have _trust and peace_. the psalmists exhibit human nature at its best, but it is human nature all the time--human nature finding god and associating itself with the ideal man. thus the psalms often rise to the conception of the messiah; and, even when that is not their thought, they proceed from other thoughts to rest in god and praise of his holy name. the most difficult psalms for worship are those which regard sin with horror, but express the horror without mercy. man is unable to hold the two qualities of righteousness and mercy simultaneously. we find it difficult in these days to detest sin because we are learning the quality of mercy. { } much of the poetic force of these songs depends on the local incidents of israel's history and the scenery of jerusalem and the holy land. while we use the words, we must also use our imaginations to transfer the great thoughts to our own experience: for those local colours are the clothing of thoughts which belong to all men in their relation to god. over all these endeavours to use the psalms properly in the praise part of our services, the ruling idea is that which we have already stated, viz. that god in these things is to be glorified. [ ] a practice is found, in some churches, of singing this psalm on sundays but not when it is read in the ordinary course of the psalms. we believe that this is due to a misinterpretation of the rubric. there is just as much reason for singing it on the th as on any other day. [ ] _dict. of chr. antiq_. "psalmody." h. j. hotham. [ ] the "division of the hebrews" (see note in preface on the order of the psalter) is followed in our prayer book and bible. the septuagint and vulgate unite psalms ix. and x. and divide cxlvii. into two psalms, viz. _vv._ - , _vv._ - . { } chapter vi. praise. ii. the lessons. a. the study of the bible a help to worship. the bible is read in church as an incentive to the praise of god. it supplies thoughts of god which are then offered up to him, as praise, in the words of the canticles. it is therefore necessary that we should _understand_ the bible lessons as well as our abilities will allow, and that we should _endeavour_ to find in those lessons everything which will inspire us to honour and love god. there are two distinct requirements. a book may help us to _understand_, but the _endeavour_ to find god in the bible depends on ourselves: our lord has described it in the words _he that hath ears to hear let him hear_. in order to understand the bible when we hear it read, we should study it at home. some elementary aids to the study of it may be useful here; for further help we shall want books specially prepared for that { } purpose, such as the cambridge companion to the bible and the cambridge bible for schools, &c. . the old testament and the new testament agree together: they have the same principles of morality, worship and doctrine. god's guidance of the writers is seen in this--the old testament, written at different times in the centuries before our lord was born, was such that the gospel of the revelation in jesus was able to fit into it. as s. augustine says, "novum testamentum in vetere latet, vetus testamentum in novo patet." see also article vii. . the failure of man to live well is shown in the old testament. though he had favourable conditions and a holy law of life, a pure system of worship, and the discipline of warning and correction, the israelite failed. hence the old testament continually teaches (_a_) that god governs, (_b_) that man needs a saviour. . the old testament consists of parts (_a_) the law and history, (_b_) the psalms and proverbs, (_c_) the prophets. (_a_) the law and history part includes the books from genesis to esther, and relates the progress of the people of god from its separation as a family and its growth to be an important nation, to the downfall of its independence, and its partial recovery. the writers were a succession of prophets, who continually point to the hand of god in the events which they record. (_b_) the psalms and proverbs part includes the books from job to the song of solomon, and contains { } many hymns of prayer and praise; also discussions of deep problems of human nature and our relation to god (job and ecclesiastes); together with other things which stir us to a life of goodness and worship. (_c_) the prophets are not arranged in order of time at which they lived. the four books which come first are called the four greater prophets, isaiah, jeremiah, ezekiel, daniel: and are followed by the twelve lesser prophets. to find the place in the lesser prophets it is sufficient to remember hosea, joel, amos as the three which are placed first; and haggai, zechariah, and malachi as the three prophets after the captivity, and therefore placed last. isaiah should be read with parts of kings and chronicles, and haggai and zechariah with the books of ezra and nehemiah; and others in like manner according to their period. . the new testament consists of parts--(_a_) the history, (_b_) the epistles, (_c_) the revelation of st john. (_a_) _s. luke's_ history is in two volumes--the gospel, which recounts our lord's life from his birth to his ascension (note here the number of his parables): and the acts of the apostles, which continues the history from his ascension to the (first) imprisonment of s. paul at rome. _s. matthew's_ gospel corresponds to s. luke's gospel, recounting our lord's life from his birth, with many of his sayings about the kingdom of heaven, and especially the sermon on the mount. _s. mark's_ gospel is similar to the two former. it recounts particularly the details of the various scenes of our lord's life, { } and shows how frequently he retired for meditation,--"a living picture of a living man[ ]." _s. john's_ gospel, written long after the others, shows the three witnesses--the spirit and the water and the blood--that bear record that jesus is the son of god ( s. john v. ). (_b_) the epistles are not in chronological order. s. paul's epistles are placed first, then s. james, s. peter, s. john and s. jude. of s. paul's epistles, those to churches come before those to timothy, titus and philemon. of his epistles to churches, the order in the bible is rom., cor., cor., gal., ephes., philip., col., thess., thess. they fit into the history in the following groups: (i) acts xvii.,-- and thess,, (ii) acts xix. to xx.,-- and cor., gal., romans, (iii) acts xxviii.,--philip., col., ephes., philemon, (iv) _after_ the imprisonment described in acts xxviii.,-- and tim. and titus. the epistles to colossians, ephesians and philemon (a colossian christian) seem to have been sent by the same messenger. the epistle to the hebrews may have been written by s. paul; but, as that is doubtful, it has been placed after those which are surely his. the epistles which follow are called "general," because they are addressed to christians scattered about in various countries. s. james and s. peter have many references to the sermon on the mount. s. john dwells upon love as the foundation upon which a christian builds his life--the love which god has shown us, and the love which we have for him and for one another. { } (c) the revelation of s. john, written perhaps before the time when jerusalem was besieged (a.d. - ), carries our thoughts away from the glories of the jerusalem which was about to be destroyed, to the new jerusalem and its glories, in jesus christ and his church. . the apocrypha supplies first lessons for days between oct. and nov. ; and also for the evenings of innocents' day and s. luke's day. article vi. quotes s. jerome's description of the apocrypha, where he says "the other books the church doth read for example of life and instruction of manners; but yet doth it not apply them to establish any doctrine." these notes will, we hope, prompt the reader to make a study of the bible not only for the guidance of his life, but also for the amendment of the offering which he makes to god in the services of the church. b. lessons and lectionaries. acts xv. . "moses of old time hath in every city them that preach him, being read in the synagogues every sabbath day." the reference is to the mosaic regulations which were to a certain extent to be observed by all christians, out of consideration for those christians who were also jews: _be sure that thou eat not the blood, for the blood is the life_ was a precept which would create a difficulty in a jewish christian's mind if a gentile christian disregarded it. similarly as to meats offered to idols (cf. cor. viii. - ). there was then in the synagogues of the first century a "first lesson" from the law. { } acts xiii. . "the voices of the prophets which are read every sabbath day." there was then in the synagogues a "second lesson" from the prophets. acts xiii. . "after the reading of the law and the prophets the rulers of the synagogue sent unto (paul and his companions), saying, ye men and brethren, if ye have any word of exhortation for the people, say on." the passage selected from the law was associated with a passage selected from the prophets--there was a lectionary for sabbath services. the present jewish lectionary associates isaiah i. - with deut. i. -iii. as the lessons for the sabbath of temple desolation[ ]. in s. paul's exhortation which followed (_vv._ - ) there are, in _vv._ - , three words rarely found in the bible, but of their rare use one ("exalted") is found in is. i. , and the others in deut. i. , ("suffered their manners" and "gave for an inheritance"). the reference, in _v._ , to "judges" is also to be noted in connection with is. i. . bengel reasons that we may safely conclude that the two lections on that day were those which we have just mentioned as associated together in the present jewish lectionary[ ]. s. luke iv. - . jesus . . . taught in their synagogues--came to nazareth--"entered, as his custom was, into the synagogue on the sabbath day, and stood { } up for to read. and there was delivered unto him the book of the prophet esaias." it appears from what follows (_vv._ - ) that the lord read isaiah lxi. , , either instead of the appointed passage from isaiah, or after he had read the appointed passage. for isaiah lxi. does not now appear in the jewish lectionary, and we know no reason for its omission now, if it was included before. in any case what he said about it, he said as the exhorter[ ]. they divided the law into or portions, and read the whole of them between one feast of tabernacles and the next, whether the sabbaths were or more. each portion was divided into seven parts, read by seven different readers (a priest and a levite being the first two). this lesson apparently stood alone until in b.c. antiochus epiphanes forbade the use of the pentateuch. lessons from the prophets were used instead, and were not discontinued when the use of the pentateuch was restored. thus arose a practice of having a first lesson from the law, which they called parascha (or, _division_), and a second lesson from the prophets, called haphtarah (or, _conclusion_). the word _holy_ was said before and after the first lesson and a doxology before and after the second lesson--an arrangement similar to our own. we may, indeed, believe that we derived from the jews this and other uses of our services. for we read in acts vi. that a great company of the priests were obedient to the faith, and { } in acts xviii. , that at corinth, when they ceased to be able to go to the synagogue, the ruler of the synagogue himself went with them to the worship and teaching which they carried on in a house hard by. it would not be surprising, then, if the worship thus begun was arranged after the old pattern to which they were all accustomed. for there are, not a few, proofs in the acts of the apostles that in those early days they attended the services of the temple at jerusalem, and of the synagogues in other places. justin martyr[ ], writing in defence of christianity to the emperor of rome, describes the holy communion service of his time as comprising two lessons--one from the prophets and the other from the apostles, i.e., we suppose, the gospels; a stage nearer to the two new testament lessons which are read at the communion now. the use of an old testament and a new testament lesson at daily prayers may be a survival of the intermediate stage as described by justin. a lectionary is a table of lessons arranged for a year. our table of epistles and gospels is derived from one which has been attributed to s. jerome. the sermons of his age show that there were stated lessons for particular days[ ]. moreover, certain variations in the manuscripts of the new testament are explained by the early use of books in { } which the lessons for the days were written out in full[ ], called lectionaries or evangelistaria. the principle which governs our own lectionary is that the bible shall be read through[ ]. the books are taken in order, beginning with genesis, s. matthew, and acts on january , and going straight on, with two exceptions. first exception: isaiah's clear prophecies of messiah are deferred to nov. &c., so as to be read in advent. second exception: revelation is read in the latter half of december. the effect of beginning the new testament in two places on jan. is that it is read twice through in the year--once at morning prayer and once at evening prayer. for sundays a different arrangement is made with regard to the old testament. the sunday year begins with advent, which is the season occupying twenty-eight days before christmas. selections from isaiah are read on these four sundays, on christmas day, and on the four or five sundays which usually follow christmas before septuagesima. at septuagesima we are anticipating lent and the passion: genesis therefore supplies the lessons, followed by exodus at passion-tide, and the other books in regular course. to this brief description we may add that proper lessons, specially chosen from old and new testament, are appointed for special sundays and special { } holy days. these take the place of those which appear in the regular list for the same days. if two special days coincide, the minister may read the lessons of either, except that, on advent sunday, easter day, whitsunday and trinity sunday, the lessons for those days are to be read. the principles of this arrangement have been in use since ; alterations in its details were made in , , and . in the apocrypha was appointed for many of the saints' days, which nevertheless were left with their old testament lessons in the calendar. thus these latter were invariably unread. in this defect of the calendar was corrected by moving the lessons forward to make room for the proper lessons, and omitting some few of those which "might best be spared." until the new testament was read through _thrice_ in the year, the lessons being usually whole chapters. and the gospels were always morning lessons, and the epistles and acts always evening lessons. revelation was almost altogether omitted. from till the first lessons from sept. until nov. were from the apocrypha--eight weeks. the apocrypha lessons continue now only from oct. to nov. . the principle of selection has in all these changes been recognised; but always subordinate to a larger principle of reading in church the whole bible. prior to the two books of chronicles were not read, being regarded as sufficiently represented by the corresponding chapters from the books of the kings. in { } eighteen lessons from the chronicles were introduced in place of the corresponding passages in the kings. we shall find in the next chapter that all these lessons in church are to be thought of in connection with their attendant canticles--so that a lesson and its canticle form an act of praise: "as after one angel had published the gospel (s. luke ii. - ) a multitude joined with him in praising god, so when one minister hath read the gospel, all the people glorify god" (s. luke ii. , )[ ]. rubric. _then shall be read distinctly_, &c.] the words of this rubric were altered to some extent in , the only notable change being the alteration of "the minister that readeth" to "he that readeth." the object of the change seems to be that one who is not 'the minister' may read the lessons. the minister is still directed to declare where they begin and end. he is to turn himself so as to be heard: and canon requires the churchwardens to provide a "bible of the largest volume." a desk or lectern is therefore implied as one of the 'ornaments of the church.' it is usually assumed that the congregation sits during the lessons except when the gospel is read in the communion. probably there were not seats for them when the rubrics were drawn up: custom has authorised their addition to the list of 'ornaments.' the movable seats, bequeathed by incumbents to their successors or others as they thought fit, are not recognised by any words in the prayer book. { } appendix b. justin martyr, _apol._ i. - . . * * * we bring them where there is water; and after the same manner of regeneration as we also were regenerated ourselves, they are regenerated; for, in the name of god, the father and lord of all things, and of our saviour jesus christ, and of the holy ghost, they then receive the washing of water: for, indeed, christ also said, _except ye be born again, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven_. * * * * . but after thus washing him who has professed, and given his assent, we bring him to those who are called brethren; where they are assembled together, to offer prayers in common both for ourselves, and for the person who has received illumination, and all others everywhere, with all our hearts, that we might be vouchsafed, now we have learnt the truth, by our works also to be found good citizens and keepers of the commandments, that we may obtain everlasting salvation. we salute one another with a kiss when we have concluded the prayers: then is brought to the president of the brethren, bread, and a cup of water and wine, which he receives; and offers up praise and glory to the father of all things, through the name of his son, and of the holy ghost; and he returns thanks at length, for our being vouchsafed these things by him. [here follows a brief description of this special eucharist after a baptism which we omit in order to give the longer description below.] { } . * * * and on the day which is called sunday, there is an assembly in the same place of all who live in cities, or in country districts; and the records of the apostles, or the writings of the prophets, are read as long as we have time. then the reader concludes: and the president verbally instructs, and exhorts us, to the imitation of these excellent things: then, we all together rise and offer up our prayers; and, as i said before, when we have concluded our prayer, bread is brought, and wine, and water; and the president, in like manner, offers up prayers, and thanksgivings, with all his strength; and the people give their assent by saying amen: and there is a distribution, and a partaking by every one, of the eucharistic elements (_ton eucharistethenton_); and to those who are not present, they are sent by the hands of the deacons * * *. _library of the fathers. s. justin's works._ [antoninus pius, to whom justin addressed his two defences, was emperor of rome from to . the first of the two is that from which the above quotation is taken: its date has been placed as early as a.d. , and as late as a.d. . justin's martyrdom has been dated a.d. . his description of services refers therefore to the years which followed the death of s. john the apostle.] [ ] cambridge companion. [ ] speaker's commentary on isaiah, appendix a. [ ] _etropophorese_ and _etrophophorese_. these two rare greek words differ from one another by a single letter which is _p_ in one and _ph_ in the other. the former has the best ms. authority: the latter ('bore as a nurse') is probably right. but, in either case, s. paul must have had the deut. passage in his thoughts. [ ] see reland's _hebrew antiquities_. [ ] see appendix b, p. . [ ] thus s. chrysostom regards genesis as belonging to lent, and preached a homily to explain why the acts are read in public between easter and whitsunday. he also advises that the saturday and sunday lessons should be privately read during the previous week. [ ] thus a few mss. read "the end is enough" in s. mark xiv. ; "the end" having been placed in a book of lessons, after the word "(it) is enough," because the lesson ended there. see prebendary scrivener's art. in _dict. of christian antiq._ s.v. lectionary. [ ] see appendix c. [ ] s. ambrose quoted by hook, _ch. dict._ s.v. hymn. { } chapter vii. praise. iii. hymns in the daily services. we are about to explain how hymns are attached to lessons for purposes of worship. it will be well therefore to consider what a hymn is, and how we arrived at the present arrangement. we will defer to the chapter on anthems the consideration of those hymns that may be described as prayers set to music. many psalms may be described in this way, and in the commination the st psalm is used as a prayer (see the rubric there). but if our intention be praise, most of those prayer-psalms lend themselves to praise, and are so used in this service before the lessons, as we have just seen. in like manner metrical hymns are to be found in our hymn-books which are in their plain sense prayers rather than praises. in the day hour services we find metrical hymns--at lauds, vespers and compline after the bible "chapter," and, at the other services, before the psalms. they were in latin, and some of them have been translated and are known to us in our hymn-books. { } of the office hymns well known in modern hymn-books, _now that the daylight fills the sky is a good example_. we have, moreover, in the prayer book itself, two translations of the hymn _veni, creator spiritus_ formerly sung at lauds throughout whitsun week. the longer form of it, more a paraphrase than a translation, appeared in the ordination services in ; the shorter translation, which is so well known, in a book of devotions made by john cosin in , where are found also translations of other day hour hymns, the book being designed from the breviary. when in cosin had become bishop of durham and was taking a leading part in the last revision of the prayer-book, his translation of _veni, creator spiritus_ was placed before the older paraphrase in the ordination services. it is interesting to compare the day hour hymns with the translations which are to be found in hymn-books. in _hymns ancient and modern_, the following examples are found:-- , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . the renderings are not equally close; but they give a good idea of the place in worship which they occupied in the day hours. they will be found to dwell on the thoughts of praise to god called forth (_a_) by the sunshine and the beauties of nature, (_b_) by the work of the holy spirit. when the hymn followed the capitulum, a canticle came next. the capitulum, or little chapter, was one or two verses from the bible specially { } chosen for the day; and the hymn was directly connected in subject with it. thus, at lauds on whitsunday, the capitulum was, _when the day of pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place_ (acts ii. ), and the hymn which followed immediately was _come, holy ghost_ (h. a. and m. ); and _benedictus_, which came next, had an antiphon, _receive ye the holy ghost_, &c. (s. john xx. , ). these beautiful combinations show us that the canticle after a lesson is designed to respond to the message of the lesson, and to make with it an act of praise. we must dismiss from our minds all idea that our services were put together in a zigzag fashion, introducing something different as soon as any psalm or lesson has been said. the service-makers valued variety of expression and method within reasonable limits; but the service itself proceeds from point to point in a regulated progress. when the metrical hymns were struck out, the canticles and the lessons were left united together. the canticles. the word canticle means "little song" or "little chant," just as versicle means "little verse," and particle "little part." it has long been used to signify the hymns from the old and new testaments which were introduced into the christian services. it will be seen that these bible hymns are affixed { } to the lessons. they are commonly known by the words with which they begin in latin: thus _te deum laudamus_=thee god we praise. _benedicite, omnia opera_--bless ye, o all works. _benedictus_=blessed. _jubilate_=o be joyful. _magnificat_ (_mea anima_)=(my soul) doth magnify. _cantate domino_=o sing unto the lord. _nunc dimittis_=now thou lettest depart. _deus misereatur_=god be merciful. the st and nd chapters of s. luke supply three of these; viz. magnificat, benedictus, and nunc dimittis. the psalms supply three, viz. jubilate ( th), cantate domino ( th), and deus misereatur ( th). _benedicite, omnia, opera_ is part of the hymn given in the apocrypha as sung by shadrach (ananias), meshach (misael), and abed-nego (azarias), when they walked in the burning fiery furnace. _te deum laudamus_ is a very ancient latin hymn which may have been already very old when it became associated with the name of s. ambrose, bishop of milan ( - ). we show its bible origins in chapter viii. the canticles have been sung in the services for many centuries. _benedictus_ and _benedicite_ are found in the holy communion service--supposed to date about --of the gallican church; in the day hours _benedictus_ was sung at lauds; _magnificat_ at vespers; _nunc dimittis_ at compline; _te deum_ at mattin-lauds; _benedicite_ and _jubilate_ at lauds on sundays. { } the rearrangement of the day hours in gave an opportunity to associate the canticles more closely with the lessons. we show in another chapter the connection which exists between the lessons of the old and new testaments, and the alternative canticles provided for each, both at morning and evening prayer. meanwhile it will be well to learn the following table. map of the lessons and their canticles. character of the lesson mattins evensong o. t. creation and providence benedicite cantate* need of redemption te deum magnificat laudamus n. t. the coming of christ benedictus nunc dimittis the spread of the gospel jubilate* deus misereatur* * added in . * * * * * * * * the te deum printed so as to show its structure. [transcriber's note: in the original book, each of the following items was printed on a single line. in this e-book, they have been split at a logical point, usually a colon (:).] . te deum[ ] laudamus, te dominum confitemur: te aeternum patrem[ ] omnis terra veneratur. . tibi omnes angeli, tibi caeli et universae potestates: tibi cherubim et seraphim[ ] incessabili voce proclamant. . sanctus sanctus sanctus dominus deus sabaoth[ ]: pleni sunt caeli et terra majestatis gloriae tuae[ ]. . te gloriosus apostolorum chorus, te prophetarum laudabilis numerus: te martyrum candidatus laudat exercitus. . te per orbem terrarum sancta confitetur ecclesia: patrem immensae majestatis. venerandum tuum verum et unicum filium. sanctum quoque paracletum spiritum. . tu rex gloriae, christe: tu patris sempiternus es filius. . tu ad liberandum suscepturus hominem non horruisti virginis uterum: tu devicto mortis aculeo aperuisti credentibus regna caelorum. . tu ad dexteram dei sede(n)s in gloria patris: judex crederis esse venturus. . te ergo quaesumus famulis tuis subveni quos pretioso sanguine redemisti: aeterna fac cum sanctis tuis in gloria munerari. . salvum fac populum tuum domine et benedic haereditati tuae[ ]: et rege eos et extolle illos usque in aeternum[ ]. . per singulos dies benedicimus te[ ]: et laudamus nomen tuum in saeculum et saeculum saeculi[ ]. . dignare domine die isto sine peccato nos custodire: miserere nostri domine, miserere nostri[ ]. . fiat misericordia tua domine super nos quemadmodum speravimus in te[ ]: in te domine speravi, non confundar in aeternum[ ]. [ ] isaiah ix. . [ ] isaiah vi. , cf. rev. iv. . [ ] psalm xxviii. . [ ] psalm cxlv. . [ ] psalm cxxiii. . [ ] psalm xxxiii. . [ ] psalm xxxi. and lxxi. . _note_. some readers will at first sight be afraid of the latin form of the te deum. it is however so important to the clear understanding of this beautiful hymn that we hope they will piece together the english words and their latin equivalents. the task will not be really difficult, for most of the words are almost english already. it will not surprise them to find that _tu_ is thou, and _te_ thee, that _tibi_ is to thee, and _dominum_ lord, and so on. we think that most of the words will be understood by any one who is familiar with the english. _aculeo_, in line , means _sting_, and _crederis esse venturus_ means _thou-art-believed to-be about-to-come_. _to face_ p. ] * * * * * * * * { } chapter viii. praise. iv. te deum laudamus. this ancient latin hymn of the incarnation of our lord jesus christ has in many service-books been attributed to s. ambrose and s. augustine. one of the stories is that they sang it in alternate verses when the latter was baptized by the former, a.d. . we shall presently show that it is composed on a very elaborate plan, and is very far from being an extempore hymn. its earlier verses are founded on expressions in isaiah (vi. , ix. ). its concluding part has not always been in the form which has become familiar to us: in its present shape it may be regarded as the survival of the best of the different forms. the verses of this part as they now stand are obviously taken chiefly from the psalms (xxviii. , cxlv. , cxxiii. , xxxvi. , xxxi. or lxxi. ). the following lines of an early morning hymn, found in the alexandrine ms. of the bible, are very similar to the verses which we have numbered and : "day by day will i bless thee and praise thy name for ever, and for ever and ever. vouchsafe, o lord, to keep us this day without sin." { } there is a sentence in s. cyprian also (_de mortalitate_, p. , ed. fell) quoted in the notes in illustration of line , which must have been borrowed from the te deum, or lent to it. it is not easy to determine whether an elaborate composition of this description, designed evidently for worship, is more likely to lend or to borrow any particular phrase. the psalm verses, and verses &c. from isaiah, are evidently borrowed by the hymn. perhaps this suggests that the composer was likely to have borrowed, rather than lent, the other passages. on the other hand, a hymn founded on scripture, carefully composed, and well known in worship, is precisely the source most likely to be quoted in other hymns and in books. we said that _te deum_ is a hymn of the incarnation, and that it is an elaborate composition. it is necessary to examine these points at some length. and first we must get rid of the modern way of printing it out in verses. many of them are half-verses quoted from the psalms and isaiah: and when we have begun to restore these with their colons, we find that the other verses answer to the same treatment. in short, most of the verses should be read two together with a colon to separate them for singing purposes. having thus restored the hymn to its original lines, we find that it consists of verses in stanzas, the first and third having five lines each, and the middle stanza having three lines. the three lines of the middle stanza correspond to the three divisions of our saviour's existence--( ) before he was made man--( ) when he { } lived on earth--( ) after his ascension (see the latin form). the saviour's existence, from the eternal beginning on to the eternal future, is the central thought of the hymn. the dual form of each line in this middle stanza proves it to be a separate stanza. the incarnation is its theme--the incarnation and its antecedents and consequences. tu rex . . . . . . . . . . tu filius . . . . . . tu non horruisti . . . . . tu aperuisti . . . . tu in gloria . . . . . . . judex venturus . . . the prominent place, in each line, of the pronoun tu--thou--is here to be noticed. it is characteristic of this middle stanza that each of the three phases of the saviour's existence is expressed by _two_ thoughts which are included in one line. the pronoun tu introduces each of the thoughts in each line, except the last of the three. the completeness of the summary of the lord's existence is a strong argument for treating these three lines as a stanza: and the use of the pronoun _tu_ confirms the argument. for turning to the first stanza, we find each line has _three_ thoughts. the prominent word in the first line is te--thee--and occurs three times. similarly in the second line tibi--to thee: and in the fourth line te. the last line of this stanza varies, it is true, as the last line of the middle stanza does, but retaining a triple thought, viz. the holy trinity. the third line has the ter-sanctus. thus the st stanza, by its form, is separated from the nd stanza, and the nd from the rd in like manner. for, in the third stanza although te is still { } prominent as the first word, it is very sparingly introduced afterwards--once in the th line, and twice in the th. here again we notice a variation with the object of marking the stanza's last line, for in the last line te occurs twice. the word _domine_ supplants te in the th and th lines, and appears with te twice in the th line. the elaborate arrangement of the hymn has been exhibited so as to eliminate the notion of an extempore composition. its method however is worthy of some further consideration. it will be evident that it proceeds on the idea of a centre thought in each stanza, with thoughts balanced on each side. thus in the st stanza the centre thought (line latin version) is the praise of heaven and earth (isaiah vi. ), addressed to christ (see s. john xii. ) by the seraphim. the choirs of heaven are mentioned in the nd line, and those of earth in the th. the th line recurs to some of the thoughts of the st and the rd lines. thus the st and th, the nd and th lines are balanced about the song of praise which forms the middle line. so again, in the and stanza, the centre thought is our lord's earthly life with his eternal pre-existence on one side and his eternal glory now and hereafter on the other. and further, the centre thought of the rd stanza is the praise expressed in the th line, _day by day we magnify thee, and we worship thy name ever world without end_. this line corresponds to the rd line, the ter-sanctus, which is the centre of the st stanza. the first and third stanzas are hereby made { } to balance one another around the middle stanza, both in the number of their lines and the plan of their arrangement. noting now that the plan and method of the hymn are governed by the centre line and the centre thought in all the respects to which we have referred, we cannot fail to notice afresh that the redeemer's earthly life is the centre thought of the whole hymn--the centre line of the centre stanza around which everything is grouped. the division of the hymn into stanzas is, we suppose, conclusively proved. we may further infer that the te and tibi of stanza i. are addressed to the same person as the tu of stanza ii. and the te of stanza iii. i.e. to christ. stanzas ii. and iii. are evidently so addressed, and stanza i. could not, we think, have made the pronouns so prominent without having the same reference. it may however be objected that lines , , and cannot be addressed to christ. a little consideration will show that they can. (_a_) _te deum laudamus_ may be translated _we praise thee o god_. but the more obvious translation is _we praise thee as god_, especially as it comes with _we acknowledge thee to be the lord_. the two latin phrases are exactly parallel, so that if it is to be _we praise thee, o god_, it should also be _we acknowledge thee o lord_. now the acknowledgement of the godhead and lordship of christ was very likely to be stated in an early hymn, far more than the acknowledgement that god is god. the titles--god, lord, father { } everlasting--which are here acknowledged, appear to be suggested by isaiah ix. . for there _the lord of hosts which is wonderful in counsel_ (isaiah xxviii. ) is expressed as _wonderful, counsellor_, and is followed by _the mighty god, the everlasting father_. it is a passage acknowledged to refer to christ, who is therefore recognised as lord of hosts (being wonderful in counsel), mighty god, everlasting father. (_b_) _line_ . s. john (xii. - ), referring to our saviour's rejection, quotes isaiah vi. and adds _these things said isaiah when he saw his glory, and spake of him_. this reference to isaiah's vision, when he saw the lord sitting upon a throne and heard the seraphim sing the ter-sanctus, will be a sufficient justification of the use of line in an address to christ. (_c_) _line_ . as to the inclusion of the three persons of the blessed trinity in a doxology at the close of this stanza, it is quite usual in christian hymns of all ages to guard the thought of the equality of the persons of the godhead by means of a doxology. as an instance we may quote _conditor alme siderum_ (_hymns a. and m._ ). the position of the doxology in this canticle should be noticed. we know of no other instance of its being placed at the close of the first, or anywhere but at the close of the last, stanza. the reason for this variation seems to be that the last stanza here has to some extent the nature of a prayer. the following greek hymn, attributed to st basil, was printed by archdeacon france in _preces veterum { } cum hymnis coaevis_ as of the nd, or at latest the rd, century: _phos ilaron agias doxes athanatou patros ouraniou agiou makaros iesou christe elthontes epi tou eliou dusin idontes phos esperinon umnoumen patera kai uion kai agion pneuma theou axios ei en kairois umneiothai phonais osiais uie theou zoen o didous dio o kosmos se doxazei_ amhn. keble's well-known translation (_hail, gladdening light_) is to be found in _hymns ancient and modern_, no. , as well as in _lyra apostolica_. the transition in the address from christ to the holy trinity, and back again, presented no difficulty: rather it is a very suitable recognition of the divine nature of jesus. te deum is evidently a latin composition, and the exact meaning of its words and phrases must be sought in the latin form of it. some various readings and translations may be worthy of notice. . te deum, 'thee as god.' _aeternum patrem_ is substituted for the vulgate reading, _patrem futuri saeculi_. the english bible accepts it as the best rendering of the hebrew in isaiah ix. , but r.v. gives _father { } of eternity_ in the margin. the thought of christ as father to us is to be found in isaiah viii. , quoted in heb. ii. , where the writer is showing the complete human nature of christ. . _prophetarum laudabilis numerus_. cyprian (_de mortalitate_) has the words "there the glorious company of the apostles, there the fellowship (_numerus_) of exulting prophets, there the innumerable crowd of martyrs." it will perhaps be questionable whether _laudabilis_ should not be taken as equivalent to _exulting_--full of praise (to god) rather than _worthy of being praised_. _candidatus_ is 'white-robed'; 'noble' would be _candidus_. _venerandum_, trans. 'honorable,' is to be understood as 'deserving to be reverenced.' . _immensae_. here translated _infinite_, in the creed of s. athanasius _incomprehensible_. literally _unmeasured_. . _ad liberandum_, 'to set (him) free.' _suscepturus hominem_, 'when about to take man,' i.e. human nature. . _sedens_, 'sitting,' is the reading in two mss., and would agree with the absence of the second _tu_ in this line. _sedes_ means 'thou sittest.' _crederis esse venturus_, 'art believed to be about to come.' . _numerari_ or _munerari_. in the old english character it is sometimes difficult to distinguish where the seven strokes of the letters _mun_ are to be divided into letters. a ms. at exeter looks more like _m u n_, which is the reading of the two irish mss. referred to { } above, and the reading of my own black letter breviary ( ). heb. xi. has the thought that god rewards a man who loves him. cf. also jer. xxxi. , 'thy work shall be rewarded'[ ]. the word _numerari_ means 'to be counted, enrolled in a _numerus_ or fellowship.' cf. _prophetarum numerus_, above. . _die isto_, translated _this day_. it may be thought that the reference is to 'that day' as in tim. i. , , iv. , viz. the judgment day. several of these lines would favour that reference. . "lighten" is used in the prayer book in two senses, both derived from anglo-saxon words,--to illuminate, as in the rd evening collect, _lighten our darkness_, and in the ordination hymn, _lighten with celestial fire_:--but here, to "alight" or come down, cf. deut. xix. ; gen. xxiv. and xxviii. ; kings v. and x. , &c. _non confundar in aeternum_. this might more obviously be translated, "i shall not be confounded for ever." it is not inconsistent with the prayerful tone of this stanza, that most of its lines express more hope than fear. that the closing words should be at once humble and confident would suit well with the character of this hymn of praise. on the other hand the words themselves are borrowed from two psalms (xxxi. and lxxi. ), where they must be rendered as a prayer. it is therefore { } preferable to take them here in the same sense. latin scholars know that the use of _non_ with the imperative occurs elsewhere, being apparently regarded as though compounded with it. note on the doxology in te deum. _te deum_ is the only one of the psalms and canticles which is not provided with _gloria patri_ at the end of it. the obvious reason for this exception is that it is the only one which contains a _gloria patri_ in the middle of it. we have already said that an ascription of praise to the holy trinity is in this case more appropriate at the end of the first stanza than at the end of the third, because the third stanza has a prayerful character introduced into its words of praise. the steps by which the doxology grew in _te deum_ may be conjectured. the sentence which was required in the fifth line to complete the ascription of praise to christ would be an acknowledgement of his sonship. for such an acknowledgement has not yet occurred. using the words of the hymn, we should expect te per orbem terrarum sancta confitetur ecclesia patris venerandum verum unigenitum filium. here the father and the son are mentioned. the addition of the words sanctum quoque paracletum spiritum, and of epithets to express the majesty of the father { } would complete the sentence and express the equality of the persons. te per orbem sancta confitetur ecclesia patris immensae majestatis venerandum verum unigenitum filium, sanctum quoque paracletum spiritum. but the two genitives, _patris, majestatis_, suggest the accusative _patrem_; and already the addition of _spiritum_ has suggested the inclusion, under _te_, of the three persons. [ ] the word 'reward' is frequently to be found in the english bible where the vulgate has _reddo_. { } chapter ix. praise. v. the canticles continued. the position which the _te deum _occupies in the morning is that of respond of the whole people to the message of the old testament. we have found that the _te deum_ is a hymn of the incarnation; hence it is especially appropriate as a respond to those old testament lessons which contain, or imply, the promise of the saviour's birth and work on earth. gen. iii., isaiah viii., malachi iii. may be taken as examples: but there are very many which relate the doings of men in such a way as to leave the hearers waiting and wishing for the adoption which comes to us through christ. some of them set forth the facts which show our miserable state without christ. others contain predictions of the life which he came on earth to lead. thus the christian worshipper seeing the christ wanted, promised, foretold, or the world waiting, groaning in pain, suffering, responds to such lessons with this hymn of the incarnation. { } in the evening the place is occupied by another hymn of the incarnation--_magnificat_ (doth magnify)--the song of the blessed virgin when the birth of the saviour was assuredly promised to her. the blessed mother's words of greeting to the promise and assurance are very sacred, and may be regarded as the most suitable possible for any human being very near the lord. the words of isaiah, _unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given_ will often come to the worshipper's mind, when he uses her words to express his praise after the st lesson. sometimes however the connection of the old testament lesson with the incarnation may with advantage be omitted in favour of another line of thought and praise. lessons which declare the great acts of creation, providence, and government by god sometimes contain but remote reference to the redeeming work of christ: and for such lessons another canticle is provided, viz. _benedicte omnia opera_ (_bless ye all works_) for the morning, and _cantate domino_ (_o sing unto the lord_) for the evening. magnificat. jesus is known to us as the son of man: hence his people can use the words of the blessed virgin. when she looked forward to his coming, she used words which we can say after reading the old testament promises of a saviour who should come into the world. { } . _god my saviour_. this is the meaning of the name _jesus_. the names jesus and john were given designedly: naturally, therefore, they supply leading thoughts to the two hymns which are especially associated with our lord's birth, and the birth of his forerunner (cf. benedictus throughout, but especially _vv._ , , ). . the name, john, suggests god's _mercy_. . the name, mary, may have prompted the word _exalted_. . in this verse we can trace zacharias=_god hath remembered_; john=_god's mercy_; and elizabeth=_god's oath_. the song of hannah in sam. ii. exhibits many points of similarity and contrast, when compared with this hymn. benedicite. the canticle _benedicite omnia opera_ is so called from latin words meaning _bless ye, all works_. our services were translated from the latin services used in our church for centuries before : for latin was the common language of civilised europe. _benedicite_ shares with other canticles and with many parts of the services the custom of being known by its first words in the latin books. we said that _te deum laudamus_ not only had its name from the latin service books, but is of latin origin whether composed by hilary of arles, hilary of poictiers, or ambrose and augustine. but _benedicite_, { } though it has now a latin name, is of greek origin. it is a translation of part of the greek additions to the book of daniel. in daniel iii. the rd verse records how the three children of israel, hananiah, mishael, and azariah (i. ), having come to great office in babylon (ii. ), and refused to fall down and worship the golden image of nebuchadnezzar (iii. ), were cast into the midst of the burning fiery furnace. the th verse proceeds thus: "then nebuchadnezzar the king was astonished and rose up in haste," and told his counsellors that he saw four men walking in the fire without hurt. at this point, between verses and , there is a sort of pause in the action. it might be filled up by a mark indicating that some short time elapses. the greek version inserts verses: consisting of a prayer of azariah (abed-nego), a few verses of narrative, and verses of praise including the verses which have been sung in the church services of many countries and many centuries. the hymn calls upon all god's creatures to worship him--collectively in the first verse, afterwards in groups. first group. heavenly powers. second group. earthly powers. third group. earth and its component parts. fourth group. men. notice first the leading verse of each group: . angels-- . winds (_spiritus_)-- . earth-- . children of men. the classification in the groups is evidently influenced by the st chapter of genesis. in _v._ the waters above the firmament (gen. i. ) are { } divided from the wells, seas, floods of _vv._ , . the former appear here as heavenly powers, the latter as creatures of god in the earth. the showers and dew of _v._ are regarded as coming from heaven. they appear therefore in group , but in its last verse, so that the transition is easy to the earthly powers amongst which they might have been placed. the second group includes the forces of nature which more distinctly surround us on earth. there is some uncertainty in the various versions of this section. the prayer book, following, as usual, the great bible of , has dews and frosts in _v._ , meaning probably dews and hoar frosts. the bible (a.v.) has hoar frosts coupled with snows. it has fire and heat and also, in some versions, cold and heat, but omits winter and summer. sometimes there is contrast in the couples and sometimes the forces coupled together are of the same sort. in group , earth is called up first as including the rest, which progress from that which does not move to that which does, ranging through the inanimate moving things, such as budding things and water, and the animate creation, such as move in the sea, the air and, whether wild or tame, upon the earth. group begins, like group , with an inclusive term "children of men": and proceeds through israel, as god's people, and israel's priests, as god's special choice, to those who really serve god whether in this life or after it; concluding with the specially present service of the holy and humble, and, in particular, ananias, azarias, and misael. { } all these creatures of god's hand, whether animate or inanimate, or the forces which are behind both, are challenged to praise their maker. they are called up in twos and threes, a great army, representing all the visible and invisible hosts of heaven and earth. in connection with this hymn we should read gen. i., psalm civ., and psalm cxlviii. cantate domino. passing now to the corresponding canticle at evensong, we find _cantate domino_, the th psalm, which, though much briefer, and nearly free from elaborate detail, makes the same acknowledgement of the almighty maker, and calls upon his creatures to praise him in their various orders in very similar fashion. here however the climax is reversed. beginning with human beings and god's mercy to them, and notably to israel, we pass on to the sea, the world, the floods, the hills and all the inhabitants, returning at the end to the people and god's justice and judgment. in both these canticles, the thought is present that those, who do what god designs that they should do, are thereby praising him. hills, and valleys, and seas, are thought of as if they were human beings: they rejoice, and sing, and clap their hands, when ungrudgingly and with all the beauty and generosity of their best nature they carry out the will of god. when man does the like, of his own will and in his { } own place, he also sings, and makes great the praise of god. _v._ . _with his own right hand, and with his holy arm_. several passages in isaiah (li. , lii. , lix. , lxiii. ) use this figure to represent god's invincible might. other phrases of isaiah (lii. - ) are to be traced in this psalm. _the lord the king_, "thy god reigneth": _declared his salvation_, "publisheth salvation": _all the ends of the world have seen the salvation of our god, "all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our god_." _o sing unto the lord . . . let the hills be joyful_, "break forth into joy, sing together, ye waste places." canticles which follow the second lesson. we have seen that the gospel is frequently hidden[ ] in the old testament lessons. the unfolding of this hidden thought comes by natural sequence in the second lessons. they are chosen from the gospels, which tell the history of our lord's earthly life, or from the other parts of the new testament, which carry on the history from his ascension. the acts of the apostles is the second volume of the gospel history, and the epistles form a book of correspondence commenting on the first, or illustrating the second, volume. lessons from the gospels are records of the gospel spring-time, lessons from the { } epistles and the acts are records of the summer; the revelation of s. john carries us on to the autumn, or harvest time. to adopt a different metaphor, one kind of second lessons are chapters from the wars of our leader, another kind are chapters from the wars of his lieutenants. there is in the one kind the gospel thought, pure and simple; in the other kind there is the missionary thought. since the lessons have place in the services as parts of an act of praise, we must always consider each lesson in combination with its attendant canticle. we saw that the first lesson, when combined with the respond of the congregation in _te deum_, is an act of praise to god, for his promise of salvation by his son. in like manner the second lesson, when combined with its responding canticle, may be an act of praise to god, for the coming of the saviour, or for the spread of the gospel. we must therefore now discuss the connection between the second lessons and their attendant canticles. _benedictus_ and _nunc dimittis_ praise god for the coming of his son--_jubilate deo_ and _deus misereatur_ praise him for the spread of the gospel. benedictus. _benedictus_ is the hymn of zacharias upon the first beginning of the actual coming of messiah. "the horn of salvation was virtually raised up when the incarnation became an accomplished fact" (godet). the birth of s. john the baptist was foretold to his father zacharias, and the name by which he was to be { } called. zacharias showed his faith in the angel's message by giving him this name--john--which means _god's mercy_. _benedictus_ is a hymn upon that name. there is a psalm, well-known, we are to suppose, to zacharias, upon the same theme. it is number cvi. in our bible. from it a very large proportion of the leading words of this hymn are taken. _blessed be the lord god of israel_ (_v._ ), _visited_ (_v._ ), _redeemed_ (_v._ ), _salvation_ (_v._ ), _spake_ (_v._ ), _since the world began_ (_v._ ), _from our enemies--from the hands of all that hate us_ (_vv._ , ), mercy (_vv._ , ), remember, remember the covenant (_vv._ , , ), _being delivered_ (_v._ ), _righteousness_ (_v._ ), _all the days of our life_ (=at all times, _v._ ). some of these come twice in the hymn, or in the psalm, and leave comparatively few leading words unaccounted for. there are, however, two verses in the hymn which require further notice. the word _anatole_ is translated _dayspring_ in the last couplet, because it is treated here as giving light to those who sit in darkness. but in zech. iii. and vi. it is used of joshua the son of zerubbabel and translated _branch_. the thought of joshua the high priest as prefiguring jesus our high priest suggested the idea of the branch, but its other meaning suggested the star of the east ushering in the day. distinguish between the zacharias who speaks and the zechariah of the old testament, the prophet whose words he uses. note that joshua and jesus are the same word, and that the prophet's words about joshua are used by john's father about jesus. { } also there are references to psalm cxxxii., where _vv._ and mention god's remembrance and god's oath, and _v._ has the _horn_ of david and _i will make to flourish_, using a word akin to the word for _dayspring_ (_exanatelo_, _anatole_). _v._ . _a mighty salvation_. in s. luke (a.v.) horn of salvation: see psalm xviii. . the horn is used as the symbol of strength. _v._ . the oath is in gen. xxii. , , , _by myself have i sworn--that in blessing i will bless thee, and in multiplying i will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven--and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed_. it is explained (gal. iii. ) that abraham's seed is christ: in him all nations are blessed. _and if ye be christ's, then are ye abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise_ (gal. iii. ). thus the oath to multiply abraham's seed is fulfilled in the increase of the christian family. _v._ . _thou, child_,=john the baptist. _the highest_=god almighty. _v._ . st john baptist was to give people knowledge of jesus--the saviour. _v._ . the dayspring is jesus. the word for dayspring in greek means "springing up," and is translated _branch_ in zech. iii. and vi. , and jer. xxiii. . _v._ . read isaiah ix. (_to give light_, &c.) and isaiah xlix. - (_to guide_, &c.). also pet. i. and rev. xxi. and xxii. . it will be noticed that although the occasion was the birth of john, yet his father's hymn is directed to the coming of jesus. jesus is the dayspring or { } branch--john is to be the herald of the saviour. not till the th verse does the father address his infant son: his mind is turning upon the greater birth which was to come six months later. in verses , and there is a complex reference to the birth of christ's forerunner. by a play on the names zacharias, elizabeth and john he sings that _god's remembrance_ was wedded to _god's oath_, and thence was born _god's mercy_: for as we said above the 'text' of the hymn is john--god's mercy. this hymn may be called a hymn of the advent; whatever is read in the gospels as the second lesson will be sure to excite, in those who listen, praise to god for the advent of his son. nunc dimittis. the evening service is supplied with a different hymn of the advent for its second lesson--that of the aged simeon, when, having waited through his long life for it, he was blessed at last with the sight of the infant jesus. holding him in his arms when he was brought to the temple, he used these words of praise. god was letting him depart in peace: notice the words _thou lettest_: it is not the imperative, praying for release; but the indicative, praising god for his mercy. the other chief thoughts of this short hymn are that jesus is god's _salvation--before the face of all people--a light to gentiles--and the glory of israel_. comparing these with the hymn of zacharias, we shall be struck with the correspondence of two very different compositions. { } _lighten_: not as in te deum 'to come upon,' but as in rd collect at evening service, 'to give light.' _gentiles--israel_: making up together the whole human race. jubilate deo. it is scarcely necessary at this time to show that the th psalm is suitable as a canticle after a missionary lesson; for it seems to be assumed that the old hundredth, in its metrical form, is an integral and necessary part of a missionary meeting. "in its breadth and simplicity it is fit for all occasions of access of the redeemed to god, and naturally it has become (both in its original form and its metrical rendering) the regular hymn of unmixed thanksgiving in the church of christ. it is in _vv._ , an invitation to joy, because we know that we are god's people[ ]." this psalm was formerly used at lauds on sundays. . we claim the whole earth for god, . because he is god, because he made us, and because he protects us. . the wide extent of his mercy is made the ground of praise and thanksgiving at this place in the service, because the spread of the gospel has been called to mind by the second lesson. { } deus misereatur. ps. lxvii., styled by dr kay the spiritual harvest-home song of israel, is to be applied by us to the harvesting of missionaries, when set before our minds in the second lesson. it especially refers to the gathering-in of the gentiles ('all nations'), and extends the threefold blessing of num. vi. - to them; see _vv._ , , . cf. the description which is placed at the head of this psalm in the bible, _a prayer for the enlargement of god's kingdom--to the joy of the people--and the increase of god's blessings_. in the sarum use it was a special sunday psalm at lauds (see p. ); together with psalm , it followed _jubilate deo_ and preceded _benedicite_. [ ] novum testamentum in vetere latet, vetus testamentum in novo patet. [ ] bishop barry. { } chapter x. praise. vi. the creeds. the discussions which arose upon the revelation of himself, which god gave in his son jesus christ, were carried on between people who lived far apart round the waters of the mediterranean sea. the nature of almighty god could not possibly be easily understood by man. we might as well expect a horse to understand the nature of man. when a man tries to make a horse understand kindness, he is often disappointed with the lower nature which seems unable to appreciate it: but he perseveres, and expects some response to his efforts. in like manner we may believe that god expects us to respond when he reveals something of his own nature to us. assuming that he is perfectly wise, we must own that what he tells us about himself it is good for us to believe, and to try to understand. the revelation is itself a claim upon our worship. we start with a grain of faith: that is, we believe that there is a revelation--an unveiling of the mystery of god's being. { } it was necessary that argument should just fail to prove this; because it is god's will that men should be equal before him: the man who can argue very cleverly was not designed to have an advantage over the stupid or ignorant man in their dealings with god. the meaning of our lord's words, _the poor have the gospel preached to them_, is not to be confined to poverty in money and clothes: the man who is poor in opportunities, learning, intellect, can _believe_ if he makes the needful effort: the intellectual man who is poor in humility has also to make an effort, and to endeavour to believe. they and all others are made equal when god makes his claim upon them. moreover, the difficulties of faith are in proportion to the aids to faith. there is no compulsion of reason, any more than there is compulsion of authority, or of imprisonment. we are all free; we all have difficulties; and we all have the call of god to believe in him. reason is one of god's best gifts. reason shows nothing _contrary_ to faith, when the balance comes to be struck. the intellectual argument is with us all, and is slightly in favour of belief. but faith is the atmosphere in which we must move, if we are to see the invisible god. revelation, then, appeals to faith, and is not opposed to reason. the summary of revelation which is found in the christian creeds is compiled from the bible. reason is incapable of assuring us that god has a son, and equally incapable of assuring us that he has not a son. the revelation assures us that he has a son: and reason cannot, in the { } nature of things, contradict that assurance. reasoning can tell us, and does tell us, that the epistles (say) of st paul to the galatians, romans, and corinthians were written, as they claim, by st paul; that the gospels and other new testament books are compositions of the first century; that christianity was accepted as true by multitudes of the people of that century, and so on. but the acceptance of the faith was then, and still is, left to your choice--a choice whether you will listen to god's call to be his faithful son, or reject it. the apostles' creed. the apostles' creed is a summary of those things which the bible tells us of god's being. there can be no higher act of the soul of man than to dwell upon the being and attributes of god. it is a great step upwards, to purify one's _life_ from evil. but plainly it is a further and higher step, to purify the _soul_: for the man who refuses to _do_ evil is not so far on as the man who refuses to _feel_ and _think_ evil. it is however possible for him to reject evil only because it is bad for himself. a life of selfishness may be wonderfully free from the doing of evil. the revelation in jesus christ is the revelation of god as the highest aim, and of the unselfish life as the path to god. a summary of what god has told us of his being is most perfect for use in worship, when it is most free from discussion. a courtier is most courtly when he is freest from doubts and suspicions of his king. { } the presence of discussion in a creed implies that there has been a doubt. the apostles' creed has no discussion in its clauses, and has been called "the loving outburst of a loyal heart." (harvey goodwin.) it is therefore the creed of worship and praise. the nicene creed is the creed of self-examination. discussion is implied in some of its clauses. the athanasian creed is a guide to thought concerning the nature of god. it appeared on the scene at the close of many controversies--when the church had debated the various explanations of revelation which had been proposed, and was prepared to declare what god's children may reverently say and think of their father in heaven. [see chapter on the athanasian creed.] "i will worship toward thy holy temple and praise thy name because of thy lovingkindness and truth: for thou hast magnified thy name and thy word above all things" (ps. cxxxviii. ). when used in church services a creed must always be regarded mainly as an act of praise to god. the most evident characteristic of a creed is that it says what we know of god by his revelation of himself in the bible. now, that which speaks of god must of necessity be a declaration of his worthiness--an act of worship. we have already defined praise as that kind of worship wherein we think of god, and not of ourselves. forasmuch as a creed contains, chiefly or entirely, { } the proclamation of god's nature and being, it is the form in worship which is most entirely praise. the apostles' creed is so placed in the morning and evening prayer as to be the highest of several kinds of praise. the psalms have a considerable mixture of thoughts of man, and of human dependence on god. the old testament lesson, with its respond, draws from man's history the joyful thoughts of god's mercy. the new testament lesson, with its respond, carries our praise a degree nearer to perfect peace and joy in the goodness of god through christ. the apostles' creed entirely omits the human element that we may rejoice in god's existence. other uses of creeds. creeds have been used for various purposes, which may be classed as follows: (_a_) symbolum, or examination. (_b_) self-examination. (_c_) guide to thought and basis of argument. (_d_) praise or worship. (_a_) in order to understand the word _symbolum_, from which a creed is often called a symbol, we must go back to the days when, for persecution's sake, and lest they should unnecessarily cause their own deaths, christians met in secret, and required pass-words that they might know one another. to be admitted freely to the christian assemblies a man had to know the creed as his pass-word (symbolum); which at milan, and in other churches, was taught to the catechumens, some three weeks before easter, and not written down. they recited it a { } week later, and then were taught the lord's prayer, in the time of s. augustine. on easter eve they recited it again, and were baptized. this use of the creed survives in the baptism services. (_b_) whereas we believe most firmly those things which we most frequently remember, it is needful that we remember frequently the articles of the creed. hence self-examination requires not only the consideration of our conduct, but also the examination of our faith. in the visitation of the sick, and in holy communion, the creeds are used for self-examination. (_c_) since other thoughts are built up on those which we have about god, it is usual amongst christians to use the articles of the creed as a guide to what they are to think about themselves, and about the world, and about the evil and good which are in the world. their arguments with one another rest upon the creeds which are acknowledged amongst them. (_d_) but apart from all inferences and arguments, the facts about god's existence call forth from the heart of man joyful praise and adoring worship. the name by which god is declared to his people in exodus is i am. the thoughts by which we too come nearest to him are thoughts which declare what he is. thus the apostles' creed in morning and evening prayer is a hymn of praise. history of the apostles' creed. the similarity of the apostles' creed and the nicene creed, as they stand in the prayer book, { } suggests the reflection that disputes about the human and divine natures of jesus caused the enlargement of those parts which refer to him: and that similar enlargements were caused by disputes about the holy spirit, and even about the father. we cannot certainly say that the apostles' creed _as it now stands_ is older than the nicene creed. but we know that eusebius brought to the nicene council (a.d. ) a form simpler than the nicene creed; and that briefer forms were used in the second century by tertullian (a.d. ) and irenaeus (a.d. ). having already considered the various uses of a creed, we are prepared to acknowledge that something of the sort was a necessity from the beginning. justin martyr's writings, about the middle of the nd century, record the arguments about the existence of god, and of jesus christ, which had influenced him and others for many years, inducing them to live and die for the faith. (see just. m. _apol._ and _dial. trypho, passim_.) the death of s. john the apostle must have occurred during justin's lifetime. we are led therefore to examine the bible for traces of a creed. the following are some of the passages which supply an answer to our examination. eph. iv. - : one body--one spirit--one hope of our calling. one faith--one lord--one baptism. one god and father of all,--above all, through all, in all. col. i. - is an exposition of faith in god through christ, with a reference to the holy spirit: { } but especially concerning the being of christ, who is declared to be _v._ . the son fully and perfectly. _v._ . by whom all things were made. _v._ . before all things. _v._ . begotten before all worlds. _v._ . in whom by the will of the father all the fulness dwelleth. _v._ - . who died for our redemption and reconciliation. cor. xv. - . references by a preacher to what he has taught to any whole congregation must, almost of necessity, be references to what he was in the habit of teaching. the articles _mentioned_ here are part of s. paul's creed, viz. the articles which he is about to use as the basis of an argument about resurrection. acts xix. , . the ignorance about the holy spirit displayed by the men at ephesus revealed to s. paul that they had not been baptized as christians; for (s. matth. xxviii. ) that would have involved teaching about the holy trinity. acts viii. . this verse, though not now believed to be part of the original text, was so believed by irenaeus (a.d. ). it therefore shows us that a confession of faith at baptism was ( ) expected in irenaeus' time, ( ) expected by someone much earlier, who being accustomed to it, wrote it in the margin, or between the lines of a copy of the acts. tim. i. , . the form of sound words was a good deposit which timothy was to hold fast. { } there are other passages which contain references to the holy trinity: suggesting that the earliest christians, when thinking of the godhead, were prone to include the three persons, as we by reason of our creeds are also disposed to do. thus our investigation leads us to suppose that a creed was early used as a basis of teaching, and as a password at baptism: that it soon settled down into a form very like the apostles' creed: that in a.d. the controversy about our lord's divine nature led to the expansion of those articles which referred to him. to these we may add that in the council of chalcedon expanded the article _i believe in the holy ghost_, or formally adopted an expansion which had become usual: and so gave to the nicene creed the form which it now has. it is difficult to say exactly where the apostles' creed is most likely to have come as a link in the historic chain. a comparison may be usefully made between: the apostles' creed and the creed of irenaeus (a.d. ). i believe in god the father i believe in one god almighty, the father almighty, maker of heaven and earth: who made heaven and earth: and in jesus christ his only and in one jesus christ the son our lord, son of god, who was conceived by the who was made flesh. holy ghost, born of the virgin mary, suffered under pontius pilate, and (i believe) in his suffering, { } was crucified, dead, and buried: he descended into hell; the third day he rose again and in his rising from the from the dead; dead, he ascended into heaven, and and in his ascension in the flesh, sitteth on the right hand of god the father almighty; from thence he shall come to and in his coming from judge the quick and the heaven that he may execute dead. just judgment on all. i believe in the holy ghost; and in the holy ghost. the holy catholic church; the communion of saints; the forgiveness of sins; the resurrection of the body, and that christ shall come from heaven to raise up all flesh . . . and to adjudge the impious and unjust . . . to eternal fire and to give to the just and holy immortality and the life everlasting. and eternal life. the articles of the creed rest upon the proper understanding of what god has revealed to us of himself. the bible is the record of his revelation. the references in chapter xi. are amongst the vast number of such passages which might be adduced. the days mentioned in the rubric as days on which the _confession of our christian faith, commonly { } called the creed of saint athanasius_, is to be _sung or said at morning prayer, instead of the apostles' creed_, are . four of these days are in the easter and ascension groups of days; when the doctrine of our lord's divine and human natures is most taught. the other nine days are chosen so as to fall, one in each of the nine months, between june and february. so the praise service ends, with the highest thoughts of god and his being. the lord be with you. _answer_. and with thy spirit.] this may be taken as the mutual salutation of minister and people at the close of the praise service. it is therefore to be said before they kneel. in the confirmation service, the laying-on of hands is concluded with the same words. compare the close of our lord's words to the apostles, s. matth. xxviii. : s. john xiv. : and the close of s. paul's epistles without exception; also, close of the epistle to the hebrews, peter, john, and rev. in the old english services (sarum use), it closed the preces. in it was entirely omitted there, but replaced as it now stands, when, in , the creed was taken out of the prayers, and placed immediately after the canticles. let us pray.] this is the signal for kneeling, and commencing the prayers. { } chapter xi. reason, history, and revelation. it may be said with truth that the bible is a book which reads history, and the perplexities of man, in the light of one great postulate, viz. that there is a god. the natural sequences, which are now partially explained by scientific discoveries, are in the bible attributed to god's guidance: and of course there is no contradiction between the two. science explains something of the ways of god's working: from it we learn something of his principles, and also of his methods: when we are surest of scientific laws, we are then confronted with the assumption that there is, or that there is not, a god. the bible is the book of faith--faith that there is a god. but, since it interprets history, it plainly recognises history, as one of god's lesson books. also, since it appeals to reason, and is consistent with reason, it recognises reason, as another of the lesson books. in the present chapter we indicate some of the lessons to be learnt in these three books of god. much has been written, especially in recent times, showing the marvellous working of what we call, at one time, the laws of nature, and at another time, laws of god. there is infinite interest, to a thoughtful { } mind, in the reading of bell _on the hand_, argyll's _reign of law_, maury's _physical geography of the sea_, even when further discovery has improved upon their explanations. it must always be remembered that god has given us reason and knowledge, as well as faith. reason leads us to the threshold of heaven, and faith admits us to the presence. history assures us that jesus christ lived in judaea, founded christianity as a kingdom not of this world, and transformed the kingdoms of this world: faith admits us to personal communion with him through the holy spirit. i. (a) what reason has to say about god. the athanasian creed distinguishes between the teaching of the catholick religion and the teaching of the christian verity. a moment's thought shows that many who do not hold the christian verity, i.e. the truth as revealed in christ, do nevertheless hold the truth as to the unity of god. for amongst those who believe in the one god are jews, turks and many hereticks, besides those agnostics whose hesitation, about accepting the revelation in christ, is united to a readiness to believe in god. the belief in one god therefore is more universal than the belief in the holy trinity. the word catholick is used _within_ the church of those who hold the doctrine of the church. but it may be also used in a more general sense of those who hold the supreme truth of godhead. in order to illustrate the evidence which has been used concerning this prime article of the christian faith, we might refer to many interesting books. the { } following argument is attributed to socrates by xenophon (mem. . iv.). "we admire great poets--great dramatists--great sculptors and painters: which is more worthy of admiration--he who makes images without mind and motion, or he who makes things which live and move and act? "the latter, if he makes them of purpose. then purpose is shown by the obvious usefulness of things: men from the beginning have had the benefit of senses suited to their environment--eyes to see what is visible, ears to hear what is audible. smells are of use because we have noses; things that we eat are sweet or bitter or agreeable in the mouth, because we have palates. then again the eye is a delicate organ, but is fitted with an eyelid to keep guard over it, eye-lashes to strain off small particles, eyebrows to carry the sweat away from it. further, the ear receives sounds but is never overfull of them: front teeth are adapted to cutting, back teeth to grinding: the mouth is near the eyes and nose, which watch over what goes in: these and other arrangements indicate a maker, who adapts the organs to their uses, and has a wise and loving design. parents love their children naturally, and naturally people want to live, and dislike death. hence the maker shows that he has a design, and that his design is that his creatures shall live. "moreover, we have a certain amount of matter, a certain amount of moisture, while there is a vast amount of those things elsewhere: similarly we have a certain amount of intelligence. why then should we suppose that intelligence is the only thing which { } is an exception--the only thing of which we have the whole? why suppose that all these adaptations have been made, so wonderfully, without a controlling mind? "you say you would believe it if you could see the controlling creator? but you believe in the existence of your own mind without seeing it: on that principle, you ought to say that all you do yourself is done by chance. "the next question is whether god is too great to require our service? the answer is that god has shown a special kindness to men, as compared with other animals. their upright walk, their possession of hands, their articulate voices, their superior minds, their powers of self-protection--and the adaptation of these powers and qualities to one another, constituting an altogether higher existence--all these show a special kindness in a wise creator who has all the qualities and powers in a far higher degree. by serving one another we learn to know our friends; by asking advice we find who are wise: so if we make trial of god, we shall find that he is all-seeing, all-present, and watchful over all." this argument does not enter upon the question whether there is one god or more; but it deals with the previous question of godhead; and with all that is implied in 'maker of heaven and earth'. it must also be observed that (assuming the notion of many gods to be excluded, and that our belief is to be either in one god, or in no god), the argument of socrates has gone far towards the bible conception of god's being. cf. article . { } (_b_) what the bible revelation says about god. reasoning of the kind which socrates used comes near to proof. but it can never actually prove the existence of god. the mind of man is so constituted that it dislikes the notion of laws without a lawgiver. evolution is a law which is found to hold in many cases, and is often assumed, with much probability, to hold in other cases. and it is a law which exhibits the most beautiful adjustments in its working. we naturally are impelled to ask further back for the maker of this law. the revelation which is written in the bible, and which has been held true from distant ages by good men, is a revelation which appeals to a higher quality in man than even his intellect. it appeals to his _faith_. the bible evidence of god's existence is consistent with reason, and grounded on _faith_. we should be able to find many texts which state god's existence, his unity, his omnipotence, his omniscience. we prefer however to refer the student to whole books and long passages: such, for instance, as the training of israel to worship god--the awe and reverence which appear in all the language about god--the consistent holiness of his character as presented in all the books. from the first words of the bible, _in the beginning god created_, to its last chapter (rev. xxi. ), _behold i make all things new_, it is a revelation of the creator. the following may be remembered: deut. iv. ( ) know therefore this day, and consider it in thy heart, that the lord he is god in { } heaven above, and upon the earth beneath: there is none else. kings viii. (solomon's prayer). isaiah xl. - , xlv. job xxxviii-xli. the argument of socrates pointed to a creator who loves men. the bible declares god to be a loving father. deut. xxxii. . is not he thy father that bought thee? deut. i. . the lord thy god bare thee, as a man doth bear his son, in all the way that ye went. acts xvii. - . s. paul at athens. _vv._ - . the god that made the world . . . made of one every nation . . . that they should seek god . . .: for in him we live, and move, and have our being; . . . as certain even of your own poets have said, for we are also his offspring. further he is revealed as the father of jesus. s. john xx. . i ascend unto my father, and your father; and to my god, and your god. s. john xiv. , . . . i go unto the father. and whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will i do, that the father may be glorified in the son. s. matth. xi. . all things have been delivered unto me of my father, and no man knoweth the son, but the father; neither knoweth any man the father, save the son, and he to whomsoever the son will reveal him. the love of the father towards men is shown by his tenderness towards them. rom. viii. , (nothing) shall be able to separate us from the love of god, which is in christ jesus our lord. v. , god commendeth his own love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, christ died for us. psalm ciii. describes this tenderness, showing (_v._ ) that god's judgments against oppression are a kindness to the weak. so in { } many other places. note also that vice and crime are an injury to the wicked, and a burden to others. hence god's hatred of sin is a sign of his love. thus the first paragraph of this creed is an act of worship, from children towards their father, as well as from the creatures of god's hand towards their god. ii. (_a_) what the outside world said of christ. the foundation of christianity was not laid with outward marks, but in the hearts of those who, by one, and by two, united themselves together to serve the lord christ. as he had said, _the kingdom of god came not with observation_. not with notice from the rulers and the mighty of this world, but in the quietness of homes, and the darkness of prisons, the church became so wide as to take a foremost place, without much record in the chronicles of kingdoms. we must therefore look to christian books for the history of early christianity. at the close of the first century after the saviour's birth there were living three great writers who were united in close friendship, viz. the younger pliny, and the historians tacitus and suetonius. suetonius wrote lives of the first twelve caesars, and, in his history of nero (a.d. - ), mentions the punishment of christians, "a set of men of a new and mischievous superstition." tacitus, describing the same reign[ ], and the burning of rome (a.d. ), { } shows that nero tried to throw the blame from himself, by accusing and punishing the christians. he adds a few words about them. "the founder of that name was christ, who was put to death, in the reign of tiberius, under pontius pilate: which temporarily crushed the pernicious superstition, but it broke out again, not only in judaea, where the evil originated, but in rome also." tacitus has the idea that christians were guilty of many crimes: but their tortures and nero's cruelty caused them to be pitied. pliny, on the other hand, made careful enquiries; and gives a very different account of their personal character[ ]. thus we see that almost silently--'without observation'--the christian life grew into its great place in outside history. (_b_) what the bible says of jesus. s. matth. i. . thou shalt call his name jesus. xvi. thou art the christ, the son of the living god. s. john i. the only begotten of the father, full of grace and truth, cor. xvi. our lord jesus christ. s. matth. i. his mother mary was found with child of the holy ghost. s. luke i. that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the son of god. s. matth. xxvi. o my father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me. s. mark xv. pilate, willing to content the people, released barabbas unto them, and delivered jesus, when he had scourged him, to be crucified. and they crucified him. and jesus cried with a loud voice, and gave up { } the ghost. and pilate marvelled if he were already dead. and when he knew it of the centurion, he gave the body to joseph. and he . . . took him down . . . and laid him in a sepulchre which was hewn out of a rock, and rolled a stone unto the door of the sepulchre. xvi. - and when the sabbath was past . . . very early in the morning the first day of the week, they came unto the sepulchre at the rising of sun . . . the stone was rolled away . . . entering into the sepulchre, they saw a young man sitting on the right side . . . and he saith unto them . . . ye seek jesus of nazareth, which was crucified: he is risen; he is not here. s. john xx. he shewed unto them his hands and his side. then were the disciples glad, when they saw the lord. acts i. , and while they looked stedfastly toward heaven as he went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel; which also said, ye men of galilee, why stand ye gazing up into heaven? this same jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven. pet. iii. (jesus christ) is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of god; angels and authorities and powers being made subject unto him. s. mark viii. when the son of man cometh in the glory of his father with the holy angels, s. matth. xxv. before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another. rom. ii. god shall judge the secrets of men by jesus christ. acts x. it is he which was ordained of god to be the judge of quick and dead. rom. xiv. we shall all stand before the judgment seat of christ. { } _note_ i. quick=living. cf. s. john vi. , it is the spirit that quickeneth, a.-s. cwic. jesus=god the saviour; or god is my saviour: the same word as joshua. s. matth. i. . christ=anointed. ps. ii. ; cf. acts iv. . _note_ ii. death is the separation of soul and body: the body returns to earth as it was (eccl. xii. ), and the spirit, or soul, returns to god who gave it. resurrection is when the soul and body are reunited. while we are alive there is a continual change of particles which form the body; yet it is the same body. similarly after death the particles decay, but the body of the resurrection will be in that sense the same body ( cor. xv. ). when we say that christ was buried, we mean that his body was buried, and in this creed we add that he descended into hell: and we mean that his soul went to the place of departed spirits, which are waiting for the judgment. the word, hell, has no meaning here of punishment. in anglo-saxon, helan=to cover, and hell=a covered place. in some parts of england we still _hele_ (=cover) _over_ roots to keep off the frost. thus hell is used to translate gehenna in s. matt. v. , and also hades in acts ii. , , which last is the meaning here. this creed should be compared in parallel lines with the nicene creed, in order to see what phrases are here which are omitted there. we shall notice the following: conceived, born, dead. he descended into hell, from the dead. it is clear that the nicene creed was framed to express more clearly the _godhead_ of jesus, which had been denied { } by arius. the apostles' creed, on the other hand, expresses more clearly the true human nature of our lord: his birth and death are more definitely stated--either because his resurrection from the dead had been doubted, or because the verity of his human nature was not well understood. the words, _he descended into hell_, complete the statement that he died as truly and completely as other men die. the passage, peter iii. , has often been quoted as indicating that, in his death, he had a work to do amongst those who had died before he came on earth--viz. to carry to the blessed dead the glad tidings of his conquest of sin, whereby they, as well as others after them, are saved. _note_ iii. among early heretics were some who thought that jesus, being truly god, could not have died except by a substitute--that he _seemed_ to die. they were thence called docetae (from _dokein_ _to appear_). in like manner, many people have since attributed his perfect holiness to his godhead only, and not to his human victory over real temptations. this creed sets forth the bible doctrine of his manhood more particularly. but it also declares his godhead--partly because the words, _i believe in god_, belong to all three paragraphs of it; and partly by the words, _his only son_. see s. john i. - , , ; s. john i. ; s. matth. xvi. . the nicene creed was prepared at a time when his perfect manhood was universally believed, but some thought that he was not god. it is therefore much fuller in the statement of his godhead. { } iii. what the bible says of the holy ghost. the third paragraph of this creed is a summary of the teaching of the bible concerning him whom we often call the third person of the godhead--whom jesus described as the comforter (s. john xiv.-xvi.). he there promised to his disciples the presence with them of one, who should be closer to them than he had himself been, xvi. : xiv. , : who should unite them more closely to himself, xiv. , : who should teach them, and help them to remember his words, xiv. : who should testify of him, xv. : and guide them into all truth, xvi. : when they should be accused and persecuted, the holy ghost would guide their speech, s. matth. x. , : s. mark xiii. : s. luke xii. , : xxi. , . consistently with these promises we find all good impulses, thoughts, and actions, in man, ascribed to the holy ghost--comfort, acts ix. : joy, rom. xiv. : baptism, s. matth. iii. : cor. xii. : fellowship, phil. ii. : power, acts i. : sanctification, rom. xv. : teaching, cor. ii. : xii. : resolution, s. luke iv. : acts xv. : vocation, xiii. , : xx. : he is ranked with the father and the son, s. matth. xxviii. : eph. iv. - : cor. xiii. . his presence is imparted through the laying on of hands, acts viii. , : xix. : ix. : and before it, x. , in the exceptional case of cornelius. thus, individually we are temples of the holy ghost, cor. vi. . { } but further, the holy ghost unites us in one body--the church, eph. iv. - : wherein the work of each is allotted by him who in cor. xii. is called god, and in _vv._ - is called the spirit, and in _v._ , the holy ghost. by virtue of this, the church is holy, cor. iii. , , even though individual members are unworthy. and this church was to be one for all the world, acts i. , s. matth. xxviii. , : cor. i. : eph. i. , : iii. , : s. john xvii. , . thus it is the holy catholick church. catholick=universal, for-the-whole. also the holy catholick church is the society of saints, the communion or fellowship of saints. s. paul writing to the corinthians ( cor. i. ) addresses them as the church, called to be saints, and (after referring to the distribution of various duties amongst the members by the holy spirit) he says (xii. - ) that there should be no schism in the body, but all the members should care for one another, suffer with one another, and rejoice with one another: indeed his argument is that the church is a body, and that this sharing of joy and sorrow is an existing fact. so in cor. i. his whole argument turns upon this thought of a society, wherein the comfort of one is the comforting of the rest, and the prayers of the rest a help to the one, the gift bestowed upon one, a cause of the others' thankfulness; and all stablished together by god. in heb. xii. mount zion is taken as the symbol of christ's church; and the readers are addressed as members thereof, together with the spirits of just men made perfect, who are enrolled in heaven as the general assembly and church of the firstborn. thus the { } church, or society of saints includes the imperfect, and those who are made perfect; those who are alive there, and those who are alive here. the condition of membership is briefly described in acts ii. , repentant, baptized, having the gift of the holy ghost, apostolic doctrine and fellowship, communicant, stedfast in prayers. since then, repentance and baptism, acts ii. : iii. "for the remission of sins," "that our sins may be blotted out," are thus associated with the gift of the holy ghost--see also s. john xx. , --this second great privilege of christians is stated in the creed; we believe in the forgiveness of sins. it is preached unto us through christ, acts xiii. : it is granted to us for his name's sake, s. john ii. : the son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, s. mark ii. : it is especially associated with the presence of christ in the assembly of the church, s. matth. xviii. - : cor. v. : s. john xx. , . the union of the faithful with him in whom they have faith brings, through jesus, rom. iii. , remission of their sins, through the forbearance of god. the third great privilege, which comes to members of christ through the holy ghost, is the resurrection of the body, a most prominent doctrine of the gospel: as in the case of other articles of the creeds, so here, we only give representative verses. acts xvii. s. paul is stated to have been misunderstood, because he preached at athens jesus and the resurrection, and in _vv._ , it is shown that he preached the resurrection of men to be judged. so those who { } knew jesus best (s. john xi. - ) believed, as of course, in the resurrection of all men _vv._ , : in s. john v. - the lord states the doctrine: cor. xv. shows how s. paul taught it, and, _vv._ , , declares that the body of the resurrection will be a nobler and higher body, as the plant is nobler and higher than the seed--see phil. iii. : cor. xv. , , . further, it is likened to the gift of life in baptism, rom. vi. - , which is the work of the holy spirit, cor. xii. : hence it is expressly stated to be his work, rom. viii. , . the fourth great privilege is life everlasting. s. john i. to those who received jesus, he gave power to become the sons of god, even to them that believe on his name: s. john xvii. , and this is life eternal: s. john v. which begins here on earth: but, s. mark x. , is, in a higher sense, the promise of the world to come, where, rev. xxi. , cor. xv. , , there shall be no more death. in connection with this creed we should read the nicene creed, the first four commandments, articles i. to v., xi. and xv., _gloria in excelsis_ in the communion service, and the proper prefaces in the holy communion for christmas, easter, ascensiontide and whitsuntide. also, note that _gloria patri_, and _the grace of our lord_, are founded upon the faith which is expressed in the creed: and that the collects not unfrequently have endings similarly founded. [ ] annals xv. . [ ] see appendix d. { } chapter xii. excursus on the confession of our christian faith, commonly called the creed of saint athanasius. a learned professor once attacked the use of creeds in worship with the bitter words, that "they combine the maximum of offence with the minimum of worship." this utterance might be discussed by comparing the use of a creed in the worship of god, with the statement of the merits and action of a great man. i have often heard people praise the professor whose words we have just quoted. suppose that a number of people were assembled together, and one in the name of the rest were to speak to the professor of his great talents, his immense usefulness, his upright life, his loveable character, his services to education, we should not be offended, even if we were not fully aware of all that he had done for humanity. we should not say that there was any minimum of praise, nor any maximum of offence. it would not be an act chargeable with these faults, unless we did it in the midst of those who disputed his eminence. { } the house of god is a place where we ought to assume that the revelation of god is the foundation of worship. hence a creed which recites the substance of that revelation should fairly be assumed to express the convictions of all present. the two creeds, known to us as _the apostles' creed_ and _the nicene creed_, are evidently free from the charge of offence or lack of worship. they take so little account of matters of opinion,--they deal so entirely with the facts of revelation, that it is hard to conceive any other kind of words so free from the kind of charge which the professor brought against creeds in worship. but it will be necessary to examine more at length the position of the creed which is called athanasian, and to enquire what defence may fairly be made, if it is the form against which the professor really brought this charge. for it must be acknowledged that many thoughtful men do stumble at this creed. to them it is an offence, because it is often assumed that it is the expression of opinion about those who do not accept the doctrines which it contains. . now in reciting the athanasian creed, a congregation is not attempting to deliver its opinion: we are reciting the assertions which are implied in the bible, concerning the being of god, and the incarnation of jesus christ. let us emphasize this point. the athanasian creed has a different form from the apostles' and nicene creeds. you could not fairly describe it as "a loving outburst of a loyal heart," as bp harvey goodwin described the apostles' creed. _gloria { } patri_ is indeed added at the close, thereby marking it as a psalm or hymn in its use in church[ ]. we think that in its form, fairly considered, it is the reflective utterance of a christian, who is meditating on the being and personal nature of the godhead. as i read or say it, i am, as it were, balancing the statements which limit my conception of the truth. on this side i may go so far, and no further; on that side i am limited to that expression. between these two--including these truths--the fact of godhead is to be considered, and my worship is to be directed. hence we can see that, like the other creeds, it deals with the _revealed facts of god's existence_. . notice that in the creed it is the existence of god which is defined. faith does, in other forms, enter upon a consideration of doctrines which introduce _man_ to our view. predestination and election, justification by faith alone, sanctification, assurance and perseverance, original sin, sacramental grace, sin after baptism, { } and other facts and truths, on which revelation has thrown the only true light, are dealt with, for instance, in the articles and homilies. and the bible is the court of appeal in all such perplexities. but it is no disparagement to the importance of those truths, if we acknowledge that they do not appear in our creeds. the creeds are the respectful reply of the christian to god's disclosure of himself to his children. one (the apostles' creed) is the reply of the christian as such. another (the nicene) is the reply of the christian after careful self-examination. and this third is the reply of the christian student, as he meditates upon the furthest extent of our knowledge of god. . but it will be said, "the nicene creed partly, and the athanasian creed altogether, are not, in their origin, utterances of peaceful meditation, but, rather, of polemical controversy. heated contentions and bitter strife are called to our minds by their terms, and not the atmosphere of the heaven of heavens." it may help us to a right use of the creeds in worship, if we think of these controversies as the meditations of a very large family. when a deliberation can be held in a room, we can quietly put forward a suggestion, quietly find out what fault there is in it, and as quietly substitute a better statement than the first, guarded from the error into which we were likely to fall. but when the family which deliberates is distributed around such a space as the mediterranean sea, the voices are apt to become loud and harsh: instead of tentative suggestions, diffidently put forward, we are likely to hear dogmatic assertions, made with { } all the energy of the human lungs. the voices which arose from the members of that parliament of the faith present a greater variety of languages than the tongues at pentecost. in the church's meditation on the being of god, and on the person of jesus, we hear the spaniard, the gaul, the welshman, italian, greek, syrian, armenian, alexandrian; there are voices from arles, and from carthage, as well as from samosata on the euphrates, and jerusalem on its holy hill, and caesarea on the sea-shore. we have to regard the mediterranean sea as the council table, with chairs at the back for such as could not find places on its shores. three continents faced one another at an oval table, , miles in circumference. even in thoughtful meditation, a voice must be raised to be heard in such a conference. this will to some extent explain how it happened that men, whom we account orthodox, are occasionally found uttering what we will call _suggestions_, unorthodox in character. i. _about god's being_. . _the jew_. there is but one god. . _the ebionite_. then christ is but a man divinely endowed--the only man so divinely endowed. . _st john_. no! he is the word. by him all things were made; the word was god and was made flesh. . _the sabellian_. then perhaps,--god being one and being made flesh,--the word, and the holy ghost, are but manifestations of god. { } . _the catholick church_. no! they are persons. a father and a son are different persons. . _the arian_. then, if the father is a real father, and the son a real son, perhaps the father was before the son, and the son was made. . the catholick church. this will not do; because the sonship would not be real sonship unless the godhead were equal. the godhead of the son must be the same godhead as that of the father. . _macedonius_. but at any rate the holy ghost may be a creature, or a manifestation of god the father. . _the catholick church_. that will not do either; for his personal being and godhead are implied by some verses; and in various passages he is ranked with the father and the son. . _the semi-arian_. then you really say that there is an actual equality of the three persons, and yet that there is but one god? . _the catholick church_. yes! that is the catholick faith. of course this is but a rough specimen of the dialogue which was conducted by the church with the various guessers at great truths, who debated, disputed, and dogmatized, during the early centuries. i have left out all the other controversies, and some parts of this, in order to present a fairly clear view. but you will observe that the order followed in history has a good deal of the natural course of argument and meditation: and that it is not a very foreign idea that these heresies are the loud thinking { } of a mighty host, as it outgrows its childhood, and comes to years of discretion. i will yet more briefly indicate the course of historical meditation on deep things, by treating similarly one of the other great controversies, viz. that concerning the incarnation of our lord jesus christ. ii. _about the two natures of our lord_. . _the jew_. we bear witness that jesus of nazareth died at jerusalem. . _the catholick church_. and we aver that he rose again from the dead, and was the christ, the son of the living god. . _the gnostic_. probably he was one of the aeons of whom our forefathers have told us--the leading emanation from the most high. . _the catholick church_. he is no aeon, manifestation, nor creature. he is god as truly as he is man. . _the manichaean_. then, of course, if he was god, he could have nothing really material about him. matter is evil. . _the catholick church_. on the contrary he had a body like ours. . _the docetae_. no! that was only in appearance. you must leave out all about his baptism, circumcision, and crucifixion. they were only pretence. . _the catholick church_. not pretence at all, but real. he derived very manhood from the blessed virgin mary, as truly as he derived very godhead from god the father. { } . _the arians_. perhaps he took a human body, but not a human soul. "the divine word was in the place of the soul." . _nestorius_. perhaps if these things be so--since he derived the person of god from god, and the person of man from mary--then we must not say that he was one person, but two. . _the catholick church_. these ideas are contrary to the truth: for (council of ephesus ) christ was but one person, in whom two natures are intimately united, but not confounded. . _the eutychians_. granting there were not two persons, we suppose that there were not two natures. we hold that there was but one nature _mono physite_ (_mono physis_)--originally two distinct natures, but, after union, only one: the human nature being transubstantiated into the divine. . _the catholick church_. this also is faulty. for (council of chalcedon ) in christ, two distinct natures are united in one person without any change, mixture, or confusion. . _honorius bishop of rome and the monothelites_. then perhaps the human will of christ was subservient to the divine will, so as always to move in unison with it. . _the catholick church_. ( rd council of constantinople -- th general council.) no! you would destroy the truth of his humanity. it is obvious that we are here returning to some part of the earlier errors, and that everything possible { } had been suggested, and settled. even orthodox people, who incline to hold that christ's human knowledge was divinely acquired, or his human temptations divinely resisted, are but repeating the errors of old days. thus the controversies, however disfigured by excess of language and temper, &c. are the meditations of the church on the nature of her lord and her god. some of them are perhaps too much of the disposition of s. thomas, who must push his hands against the scars of the lord's body; but the lord has ever been patient towards the devout and warm-hearted men, who share with s. thomas, not only his doubt, but that devotion which destroys intrusive impertinence. the following interesting argument as to the date of this "creed" is worthy of study. the athanasian creed appears on the scene at the close of these loud meditations. it is unconscious of the theory that eutyches started, because it uses phrases which he might have perverted, e.g. one, not by conversion &c. as the reasonable soul &c. thus its date is given by internal evidence as previous to . the same sort of argument may apply to nestorius, who was condemned . but this is more doubtful. it insists on "one son, not three sons"--but says nothing of "one son, not two sons" which was the nestorian error. { } these two points may be summarised. _monophysites_ (condemned at ephesus) insisted on _one nature_, to defend one person: opposing _nestorians_ (condemned at chalcedon), who insisted on _two natures_ almost, if not quite, to the assertion of _two persons_. [transcriber's note: refer to footnote on page referring to an error in the above two paragraphs.] the date is limited in lateness by the above. it must have been before the middle of - , i.e. before the complete development of the controversy condemned in . and it could not be earlier than , because it plainly condemns apollinarians, who denied a human soul to christ, and said the godhead was in place of a human soul ( - ): and because several of s. augustine's expressions appear in it, whose books on the trinity appeared about , and later. moreover the 'filioque[ ]' appears in it, and s. augustine was the first to give this prominence. thus the date is fixed between and . and it is latin, in the construction of its sentences, not greek; and gallic, in its first reception, and chief, earliest, and most numerous, mss and commentaries. the roman church did not adopt it till , though charlemagne presented it to the pope in . thus waterland dates it in france between and . within those dates the authors possible are, not athanasius, for he died about , but hilary of arles, bp. - . victricius of rouen. vincentius of lérins, . { } these arguments apply, however, not to the creed as it now stands, but to the documents from which it was compounded, and to the language which it has retained. this psalm, or creed, or discussion of the creeds, appears to be formed by the union of two documents, one of which was a discussion of the nature of god, and the other a discussion of the person of christ. an article by professor lumby in the s.p.c.k. prayer book will be accessible to all our readers. the former document occupies , and the latter, verses. the doctrine that there is a god, and particularly that there is but one god, may be called the catholic religion, in a very wide sense: for it is held by jews, turks, and many others who are not christians. the christian verity is the truth that god was made man, that jesus is god and man, yet not two, but one christ. this involves the doctrine of the holy trinity. the catholic faith includes both the catholic religion and the christian verity. _vv._ and : the word _incomprehensible_ is the latin word _immensus_, elsewhere rendered _infinite_. (see article i.) _vv._ - show that there are statements which can be made of each person, which cannot be made of the other persons of the godhead: - have been showing that there are statements which can be made of each person, which can also be made of the other persons--statements involving godhead. - state the inference which is to be drawn from the former verses, an inference previously stated in - . { } _v._ . the word substance occurs frequently in the discussion of the godhead of our lord, and also in the debates about the holy communion. substance is the essential existence: it has no necessary connection with ideas like 'hard' and 'soft,' 'heavy' and 'light'; if we are thinking of a spirit there is no question of matter, for the substance, i.e. the essential being, of a spirit is not of the nature of matter. the phrase in the nicene creed _being-of-one-substance-with_ (_the father_) is a translation of the word consubstantial. the name _quicunque vult_, by which this psalm is sometimes mentioned is from the first words of the latin original _quicunque vult salvus esse_=whosoever will be safe. this phrase "be safe" occurs again in verse , and again in the last verse of the psalm, where _quam nisi--salvus esse non poterit_ should be translated _which except a man have believed faithfully and firmly, he cannot be safe_. the substitution of another idea--"be saved,"--is of the nature of an addition to the meaning. the addition is, however, independently stated in verse . these verses are to be understood, like the bible statements of similar character, as the warning which overhangs all our actions. they say nothing of what allowance god makes for involuntary ignorance, prejudice, difficult perplexities, and other infirmities. they declare our responsibility when we look up to god, and reflect on our own actions, or on god's being. [ ] it was used as a psalm at prime following cxix. - . nor did it disturb the use of the apostles' creed. bishop barry has suggested that until this use of both was continued. but bishop cosin, whose notes and suggestions and personal influence had so much to do with the revision of , had a note 'though it be not here set down, yet i believe the meaning was that the apostles' creed should be omitted that day, when this of athanasius was repeated.' and words were inserted in the rubrics to make this quite clear. [ ] see appendix e. { } chapter xiii. the service of prayer. if we have understood the method of praise which, in these services, uses ancient forms in an ordered variety, we shall be prepared to find similar order, and similar use of variety, in the prayers. the map of the services on p. should be examined afresh, in order that we may grasp the unity of the prayers, as well as the unity of the praises. there is the lord's prayer _set_ for prayer (see p. ), at the beginning of the prayers, to strike the keynote. verses and responds follow next, asking for such things as will be again asked for, in the collects which are to come after them. the collects may be divided into two classes, viz., . those for spiritual needs--_first, second, and third collects_. . those for physical needs, and earthly relations. worship-forms used in the prayer service. see _table of worship-forms_ (p. ). the preces are interjectional. the collects are of the amen form. the anthem should be { } antiphonal. the litany, when used, contains examples of four of the worship-forms. thus, the attention of worshippers is arrested, and their unity of heart and voice maintained. another purpose is served by the mutual relation in which these forms stand to one another. we shall show, in the chapter on the litany, that a collect may be preceded by a verse and respond, which anticipate briefly the prayer of the collect. thus the verse and respond, which are interjectional, belong to the collect. this tie between interjectional prayers and amen prayers is very remarkable in the morning and evening services. six couplets of interjected prayers, which for the sake of distinction are called preces, anticipate the petitions of the six (or more) collects which follow. they correspond couplet and collect, couplet and collect; and, being grouped so that all the couplets come first, the whole prayer service is made one. the anthem is used to strengthen this unity. unfortunately the revisers stopped short of making an antiphoner, or anthem-book; but we may suppose that the provision made here for anthems was intended as a promise of such a book. our hymn books, which were recognised, when, in , shortened services were permitted, contain a good number of suitable hymns admitting antiphonal arrangement. they should supply some grave thought of god's help, or christ's mediation, or our dependence on him. the anthem is a bond of union, not a musical interruption. (see chap. xiv.) { } the prayer service. i. preces and collects. morning and evening rubrics. the directions concerning the services are to be found in the rubrics: which are placed either ( ) in the prefaces and tables at the beginning of the prayer book; or ( ) at the beginning or end of a service; or ( ) at some break or pause in the service. by the correction of mistakes, the later revisions have left very little ambiguity; but some instances remain, which may usually be interpreted by the analogy of other parts of the book. a plain instance is the omission of a direction that the sermon is to be preached from the pulpit: but it is directed that after it the priest shall return to the lord's table. bishop cosin who took a leading part in the revision of - , and had been preparing notes for it for about years, made the remark: "the book does not everywhere enjoin and prescribe every little order, what should be said or done, but take it for granted that people are acquainted with such common, and things always used already." the two services, which are here considered together, are still printed together as parts of the same chapter (see p. ): and the morning service has always had rubrics which applied to both morning and evening: (see rubrics, about the use of _gloria patri_ after canticles, cf. p. : and about the first lessons). { } before a rubric, after the canticles at evensong, referred back to mattins for directions &c. about the rest of the service. the second and third collects, being different from the morning collects, were, of course, printed in full: everything else was read from the morning service. in the evening service was for the first time printed out in full. the words of the evening rubric about the collects were retained, and not made like the morning rubric: also the words _all kneeling_, which were, at that time, added to the morning rubric, were, through forgetfulness, not added to the slightly different evening rubric. the word _all_ includes the minister; for the people are already kneeling. the rubrics after the collects. the amendment of rubrics in this part of the services, which was effected in , completed the directions for continuing the service after the collects. until that time, the prayers for the sovereign, for the royal family, and for the clergy and people, were printed after the prayer, _we humbly beseech thee_, in the litany; and were followed by the second of our ember week prayers, and the prayer of s. chrysostom. but it was plain that the services were not to end with the third collect: for, at the end of the communion service, six collects were printed, as they still are, with the provision that they may be said "after the collects" of morning and evening prayer. moreover, the inclusion, in the preces, of prayers for the sovereign and for the clergy implied that collects for { } them would follow. we may infer that these services used to end much as they do now. it was therefore a useful improvement to make the rubrics complete, and to print the prayers in this place. perhaps the six collects after the communion service would be more used, if they had, at the same time, been printed with the occasional prayers and thanksgivings. at the same time, a rubric was inserted here providing for an anthem, or musical prayer, to be sung (in places where there are singers), between the three collects and the other prayers. the lord's prayer as set for the service of prayer. we have before explained that the doxology is not added here, but the lesser litany is prefixed to it. the thoughts will now be different from those which occupied our hearts at the beginning of the praises. the following may be suggested: hallowed be thy name . . . . . . ask for reverence. thy kingdom come . . . . . . devotion. thy will be done . . . . . . obedience. give us our daily bread . . . . . . support, health, teaching, communion. forgive us . . . . . . forgiveness. lead us . . . . . . guidance. deliver us . . . . . . deliverance. then the priest is directed to stand up: thus reminding us again that we are approaching the majesty on high. the people, though still kneeling, { } are included in his priestly action, and take an equal share of the petitions, which form the preces (=prayers l.). each verse is to be said by the minister, and its respond by the people. a. the preces. these interjected prayers do not follow exactly the order of the collects and prayers, which are to come next to them. the second couplet belongs to the two prayers, _for the king_ and _for the royal family_: the third and fourth couplets belong to the prayer, _for the clergy and people_. the first, fifth, and sixth couplets belong to the first, second, and third collects respectively. the great breviary of , according to the use of sarum, had the th of these couplets as an antiphon for our nd morning collect for peace, to be used at lauds, and also as an antiphon at vespers, for our nd evening collect for peace. the student will find that this using of the old materials is characteristic of the revision of . all the preces are from the day hours. with the exception of the couplet just mentioned, they are verses of the psalms: first couplet from the th psalm, verse : second, from the th, _v._ : third, from the nd, _vv._ and : fourth, from the th, _v._ : sixth, from the st, _vv._ and . the first couplet is that which anticipates the first collect. the second couplet agrees with the vulgate (latin), and septuagint (greek) versions of the psalms. our bible and prayer book psalms follow { } the hebrew division of the verse: _save, lord: let the king hear us when we call_. the couplet in this place, being taken from the sarum service, as a prayer for the king and people, was left in its old form, when the correction was made in the psalms. in the third couplet '_endue_' means 'clothe.' in the fifth couplet the respond appears to allege the want of earthly helps as the reason why we ask god to give us peace. since it is obviously impossible that this is the meaning, it will be well to enquire what other meaning there may be. the last verse of the th psalm has the same thought; _i will lay me down in peace, and take my rest: for it is thou, lord, only, that makest me dwell in safety_. if the word only be omitted, the reason appears at once to be that god's protection suffices to assure us of safety. the introduction of the word, _only_, adds the thought that no other protection would suffice. the same two thoughts are united in the respond _because there is none other that fighteth for us, but only thou, o god_. it is as though we said, 'give us peace, because thou hast the power; and we trust no other power.' this couplet was the antiphon, in the day hours, to both the collects for peace; and must be taken as including both peace from "the assaults of our enemies," and "that peace which the world cannot give." it is suitable both to a time of external peace, and also to a time when war, with peace for its object, is raging round us: the assaults, also, of temptation are at times disturbing to our peace, in the sense which is involved in this couplet. the sixth couplet belongs to the third collects { } which ask for spiritual guidance, and spiritual light--_blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see god_. b. the collects. the books formerly used in church. in a passage of the prayer book preface of , which was not struck out until the last revision in , it was said that "by this order the curates shall need none other books for their public service, but this book and the bible." the simplification of the services has made it possible for everyone to find his way easily through the prayer book. the progressive inventions of printing, and of fine paper, have made it possible for him to have the books always with him. before the reign of edward vi. the services, though printed, were not contained in one book. before the invention of printing the books were of necessity numerous. we may mention some of them. a book of lessons--legenda; of antiphons--antiphonarium; of psalms--the psalter: these were required for the day hours. as an abbreviation of them, sufficient for practical purposes, the breviary was arranged. a portable form of it was called portiforium. the breviary was printed in four volumes on the continent, but in england had only a winter volume and a summer volume. for the occasional services,--the services which mark the great events of a christian's life, beginning with baptism and ending with burial, they had the manual. { } for the holy communion, they had the missal; including ( ) the gradual, which was an antiphoner, or book of the musical parts of the service; ( ) the lectionary, or book of the epistles; ( ) the evangelistarium, or book of the gospels; and ( ) the sacramentary. the sacramentary contained, amongst other things, the collects. we have already referred to the combination and simplification of the breviary services, which have given us our morning and evening prayer. we must now observe that many of our collects come from the sacramentaries. three celebrated sacramentaries. three of the sacramentaries deserve here special mention. i. gregory the great, who was pope of rome from to , was the author of one of them. the english church owes him gratitude for sending missionaries to this country at a time when the older british church was deficient in missionary zeal: and we must here notice our debt to him for a number of our best-known collects, as well as other improvements in the services. canon bright gives a list of or taken from gregory's book. some of them may perhaps have been added after gregory's time; for it is often difficult to distinguish between the original passages of an ancient service-book and the additions which were quickly made to it. twenty-eight collects in that list are in our book amongst the epistles and gospels. besides these there are: one in the baptism service--_almighty and { } immortal god_: the first part of _we humbly beseech thee_ in the litany: _o god, whose nature and property_ in the occasional prayers: _prevent us, o lord_ at the end of the communion service. ii. the sacramentary of gelasius (who was pope of rome to ) had provided much material which gregory adopted. from this ancient source we have our _second collect, for peace_ in the morning service; and the _third collect, for grace_: the _second collect, for peace_ in the evening service: the _third collect, for aid_: the collect _for the clergy and people: assist us mercifully_, at the end of the communion service: the confirmation collect, _almighty and everlasting god_: a collect in the visitation service: _o lord we beseech thee_, in the commination: and of those which are placed with the epistles and gospels. iii. we go back still further for seven of the sunday collects, which are taken from the sacramentary of leo the great (pope of rome, to ). thus, five-sixths of our sunday collects are from these three service-books: although we do not purpose here to say much of the collects used in the communion service, and ranking as the "first collects" of morning and evening prayer, we think it useful to note their derivation from the th and th centuries. even those which are not so derived owe their form and manner to the same models. this last remark applies to all the prayers which have the collect form. we may suppose that, in the years which preceded leo the great, the collects were being made. perhaps the dignity of their { } diction grew by the survival of the simplest and best; by the falling away of superfluous words; and of words of effort: in any case the absence of small auxiliary words, in latin sentences, contributed much to their tone of modest dependence on god, as well as to their poetic force. to take an illustration, our second collect at mattins is translated from the following gelasian collect: _deus auctor pacis et amator, quem nosse vivere, cui servire regnare est, protege ab omnibus impugnationibus supplices tuos; ut qui defensione tuâ fidimus, nullius hostilitatis arma timeamus: per &c_. these latin words are equivalent to the english words which we use. we do not, however, suggest that the tone has been altered in the translation. on the contrary, our translators had so learnt the right tone of the old prayers, that they not only translated them and the tone, into a language of a very different sort; they also composed new prayers, in english, which rank with the old ones, and have the same great excellences. the collects for easter eve, and christmas day, may be taken as good examples of this. what then are the characteristics which we must expect in a collect? . it has three simple parts: (_a_) the name of god; (_b_) what we ask; (_c_) our appeal to christ's advocacy. . it makes no effort to instruct the congregation, but speaks with simplicity and directness, to him who knows all things. { } . it asks for grace and help for our souls, whereby we may do what is right. other prayers imitate collects in one or more of these respects; and may be called collects, though not satisfying all the conditions. the three parts of a collect. our lord taught us (st john xiv. , ; xv. ; xvi. - ) to ask god in his name. a collect is a prayer made on that model. it has three parts: (_a_) god is addressed; and (_b_) petition made, (_c_) in the name of jesus. (_a_) god is addressed. this may be expressed in one word, or expanded into a sentence. it is always the reason for our prayer, that god is able and willing to hear us: every name of god when named by his children is an appeal to him. when we expand the address, we do so in order to include a claim, to be heard because some quality in god has a special relation to that which we are about to ask. because god loves peace, we can ask him for peace: because he is merciful, we can ask him for forgiveness: because he gave at pentecost, we can ask him for the same gift on whitsun day. thus the name of god at the beginning of a collect often includes some title upon which we build our hope. (_b_) what we ask. this may be simple, or complex: it is simple when we ask for something without saying anything of the means, or the results, { } of our obtaining it: complex, when we ask for some thing in order that we may also have something else. (_c_) appeal to christ's advocacy. our claim upon god is "in the name" of jesus christ. here again we vary the thought in agreement with the petition: sometimes it is his mediation, sometimes his might, or his love, which we mention: but not haphazard--the words are chosen to suit what has been asked for. one variety of this part deserves special mention--when we claim the saviour's advocacy, by words which recognise him as one of the blessed trinity. when his godhead is thus mentioned, an ascription of praise is often added. origin of the word 'collect.' it is impossible to speak with confidence about the origin of the word collect. we find in old services both collecta and collectio. it might be conjectured that these were references to books of collects bearing those names as their titles. but the explanations which have been offered for a thousand years, though very various, do not include that as a possibility. some derive it from people, ( ) collected for worship: ( ) collected in the unity of the church: ( ) having collectedness of mind. others from: ( ) the sense collected from scripture: ( ) the desires collected from the congregation. { } canon bright[ ] decides in favour of ( ) as the explanation of _collecta_, and ( ) as that of _collectio_, preferring the former as the source of our english word _collect_. canon bright quotes alcuin the northumbrian boy, the york scholar ( - ), who became the most learned man in europe, and the friend, adviser, and teacher, of the great emperor charlemagne. alcuin derived the word from _collecta_, an assembly for worship. the morning and evening collects. the first collect is the collect of the day. the preface (last rubric before the table of lessons) orders that the collect "appointed for the sunday shall serve all the week after, where it is not in this book otherwise ordered." the book 'orders otherwise' for saints' days, and at such special times as christmas, ash-wednesday, good friday, easter even, but has omitted, by some accident, to provide for the two days after ascension day, for the week days between the epiphany and the first sunday after, and for the three days after ash-wednesday. a rubric at the beginning of the _collects, epistles, and gospels_ provides that the collect for a sunday, or for a holy day having a vigil or eve, shall be said at the evening service next before. we have said something of the source of these collects: their detailed consideration belongs to a { } book on the communion service, or on the epistles and gospels. the second collect, both at mattins and evensong, is a collect for peace. both are taken from the same chapter of prayers for peace in the gelasian sacramentary. the morning collect, desiring that our trust in god, and our fearlessness, may be strengthened by continual knowledge of god's protection, addresses him as the author and lover of peace, and also as the one whom we know and serve, and thereby have life and freedom. _standeth our eternal life_. notice the phrase standeth in as a substitute for is. we could not have said _whose knowledge is eternal life_, because of the momentary doubt whether it referred to the knowledge which god has, or to the knowledge which we have of him. by the use of an idiom not now in common use, we express the belief taught by the saviour's words s. john xvii. . notice also the phrase _whose service is perfect freedom_: here the latin original has _whom to serve is to reign_. our eagerness to do god's will is, on the one hand, a service or bondage to him; but, on the other hand, it is what makes us masters of ourselves, and, in the spiritual sense, kings ( cor. iv. ; rev. i. ). the prayer for defence from external assault has for its real motive the attainment of trust and fearlessness. the evening collect for peace asks more plainly for spiritual peace; in relation to ( ) the tumults { } occasioned in our consciences by disobedience to god's commands, ( ) the tumults occasioned in our lives by outward interference. for ( ), we appeal to god as the author of good and holy desires within us: for ( ), we appeal to him as the counsellor who helps us against our enemies. for both, we appeal to him who enables us, and others, to do what is just. the third collect in the morning is styled a collect _for grace_. because he is almighty and everlasting; because he is our father and our god and lord; and, in particular, because he has brought us to the beginning of the day; we ask him to keep us from harm, and sin, and danger, as the day goes on. the corresponding evening collect is styled a collect _for aid against all perils_. accepting the figure suggested by the close of the day, we ask god to defend us from the perils and dangers of darkness. the light which we seek is evidently inward and spiritual light; the defence, in like manner, a defence from spiritual perils, though not excluding the others: cf. psalm xviii. : xxvii. i. c. the other prayers. the change from the three collects to the three prayers which follow may be softened by the anthem, (or hymn), which comes between. the spiritual gifts, desired in the collects, are the qualities which guide the lives of men. when we pray that we may have a good king, or a good bishop, or a good people, we have evidently passed from the general to the particular; from that which is within us to that which is external. { } the prayer for the king was inserted in . _health and wealth_=to be hale or whole, and to be well. they are saxon words which include all prosperity of body and condition. the prayer for the royal family was inserted in . the persons mentioned by name have been the consort of the sovereign, the queen dowager, and the next king and queen. thus in queen anne's reign, princess sophia was mentioned until she died, eight months before the queen. the prayer for the clergy and people. this is, in the gelasian sacramentary, a prayer in a monastery; or, in a private house. afterwards, the persons for whom it was said, were "an abbat or his congregation"; then bishops and their congregations; and finally, curates (i.e. the clergy in _charge_ of parishes) were introduced in . in titus ii. _the grace of god bringeth salvation_, the word 'healthful' is translated differently, but the phrase is the same as here. _the continual dew of thy blessing_: see ps. cxxxiii. , where the consecration of aaron suggested hermon (=consecration), and called up thoughts of the dew and the clouds, running and floating from its sides. so the blessing received from on high is received in order to be transmitted to others. the phrase _who alone workest great marvels_ seems to be justified by the consideration that much is asked for in the prayer--god's spirit, and the dew of his blessing, for all the clergy, and for all the people. { } a prayer of s. chrysostom is so called because it comes to us from the liturgy of s. chrysostom. it is said to be older than a.d. but not so old as to have been composed by s. chrysostom himself ( - ). it addresses christ as _almighty god_, and reminds him of his present gift of grace, and of his ancient promise. the two blessings claimed are--for this life, the knowledge of god's truth--for the life to come, the knowledge of god himself (s. john xvii. ). cor. xiii. this benediction is not merely the ending of the worship in church: it is also the link between the church service and the service of god which we perform outside. we go out of church to do our work with grace, and love, and fellowship, in the name and power of the holy trinity. the more solemn part of the holy communion, in the clementine liturgy, s. basil's, s. chrysostom's and other eastern liturgies, began with this benediction. the occasional prayers and thanksgivings. like the six collects after the communion service, these may be used before the prayer of s. chrysostom in the morning and evening, and (with one exception) also when the litany is said. there are prayers: the first two were made in : the next four in : the first of the ember prayers, in : the second, in a slightly different form, was a prayer in the ordination services of , where it still stands. the ninth is from gelasius' sacramentary. the prayer for parliament appeared in the last revision ( ), but had been printed before, in special forms of service. { } the _prayer for all conditions of men_ first appeared in . there are eight thanksgivings: the first, fourth, and sixth, were printed in : the rest in . in the first of these, if the petition were _send us, we beseech thee, such weather_, the prayer might be very frequently used during the spring and summer. having these, we seem to want other, occasional prayers, and thanksgivings. the spread of emigration, the enlargement of our navy and army, the multiplication of municipal bodies, and other developments of the national life, demand occasional prayers in the service, and especially, perhaps, a prayer to be used at times of anxiety for those at sea. [ ] see his ancient collects, appendix: and his paper in s.p.c.k. prayer book commentary "on the collects." { } chapter xiv. the prayer service. ii. anthems. anthem=antiphon, fr. _antiphonon_: so called because two choirs sing alternately. anthems are of two sorts--simple anthems and compound anthems. a simple anthem is one or more verses (often from holy scripture), used to give character to a psalm. a compound anthem is a hymn or psalm followed by a verse, respond, and prayer. a simple anthem was used, for example, to give an easter, advent, &c. character to _venite_. thus dec. is marked in the calendar as _o sapientia_ because on that day the following anthem was used with magnificat: o wisdom, which camest forth out of the mouth of the most high, and reachest from one end to the other, mightily and sweetly ordering all things; come and teach us the way of prudence. these words are taken, with some alteration, from wisd. viii. . on each of the seven days which follow, until dec. , a different anthem was used with magnificat; and forasmuch as these eight anthems begin with o (o wisdom, o lord, o root of jesse, &c.), they were known as the o anthems. similarly on the epiphany, s. matth. ii. , , was sung as an antiphon to magnificat; and on whitsunday s. john iv. . { } these are instances of the use of simple anthems in the services before . the following illustrates the purpose for which they were appointed. it will be observed that the advent thought was made to pervade the whole psalm. advent setting of venite. behold the king cometh. let us go to meet our saviour. o come, let us sing unto the lord: let us heartily rejoice in the strength of our salvation. let us come before his presence with thanksgiving: and shew ourselves glad in him with psalms. behold the king cometh. let us go to meet our saviour. for the lord is a great god: and a great king above all gods. in his hand are all the corners of the earth: and the strength of the hills is his also. let us go to meet our saviour. the sea is his, and he made it; and his hands prepared the dry land. o come, let us worship, and fall down: and kneel before the lord our maker, for he is the lord our god: and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. behold the king cometh. let us go to meet our saviour. to day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts: as in the provocation, and as in the day of temptation in the wilderness. when your fathers tempted me: proved me and saw my works. let us go to meet our saviour. forty years long was i grieved with this generation, and said; it is a people that do err in their hearts, for they have not known my ways. unto whom i sware in my wrath: that they should not enter into my rest. behold the king cometh. let us go to meet our saviour. glory be to the father, and to the son, and to the holy ghost. as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. amen. let us go to meet our saviour. behold thy king cometh. let us go to meet our saviour. { } the compound anthem. the prioress, in chaucer's _canterbury tales_, relates that a litel child his litel book lernynge, as he sat in the scole in his primere, he _o alma redemptoris_ herde synge, as children lerned her antiphonere: from this we understand that _o alma redemptoris_ was an "antym" out of the antiphonere, or anthem book. this anthem has six hexameter lines followed by a verse and respond, and the collect which we now use for lady day. this, then, is what we have called the compound anthem. a good example of it is found in the prayer book of where the easter anthems, as we still call them, were ordered to be used in the morning afore mattins. their "setting" was as follows: christ rising again from the dead now dieth not: death from henceforth hath no power upon him. for in that he died, he died but once to put away sin; but in that he liveth, he liveth unto god. and so likewise count yourselves dead unto sin, but living unto god in christ jesus our lord. hallelujah. hallelujah. christ is risen again, the firstfruits of them that sleep. for seeing that by man came death, by man also cometh the resurrection of the dead. for as by adam all men do die: so by christ all men shall be restored to life. hallelujah. _the priest_. shew forth to all nations the glory of god. _the answer_. and among all people his wonderful works. let us pray. o god who for our redemption didst give thine only begotten son to the death of the cross; and by his glorious resurrection hast delivered us from the power of our enemy: grant us so { } to die daily from sin, that we may evermore live with him, in the joy of his resurrection; through the same christ our lord. amen. the history of the transformation of this anthem into a psalm, as it is now used, may be given here. in its rubric was changed to the present form: that is, it was no longer to be used before mattins; it was to be sung or said instead of _venite_. the verse, respond and collect were omitted. in _gloria patri_ was added, and the words of cor. v. , were inserted at the beginning. the easter anthems, as now ordered, are most properly set as a psalm. with similar propriety, when they were used _before_ the service of mattins, they were set as a prayer-anthem--beginning with the jubilance which is expressed by the twofold hallelujah, and gradually modulating the jubilance in preparation for the service which followed. simple anthems were so frequent, and their changes for special occasions were so many, that they created some confusion and intricacy in the old services. we may, however, recognise the beauty and worshipfulness of the plan. in the visitation of the sick, the words _o saviour of the world_ &c. as used with psalm lxxi. are a survival of it. the verse _remember not lord_ &c. was introduced at the beginning of the same service, as an anthem to psalm cxliii. the psalm was omitted in , but its anthem remains. the singing of the psalm and anthem will be understood from the example quoted above--the half choir which sang the psalm was continually interrupted by { } the half choir which sang the anthem. the following illustration is quoted (by martene) as of the th century. in this case a verse of _magnificat_ was sung after each verse of the anthem. easter eve setting of magnificat. [transcriber's note: in the following section, in the original book, the material in the right-hand column was italicized. in standard project gutenberg practice, such text is (usually) surrounded by underscores ("_"), but for clarity, that underscoring has been omitted here.] now on the evening of the sabbath, as it began to dawn my soul doth magnify the toward the first day of the lord: week, came mary magdalene and the other mary to see the sepulchre. and behold, there was a and my spirit hath rejoiced great earthquake. in god my saviour. for the angel of the lord for he hath regarded the descended from heaven, and lowliness of his handmaiden: came and rolled back the stone for behold, from henceforth all from the door, and sat upon it. generations shall call me blessed. his countenance was like for he that is mighty hath lightning, and his raiment magnified me, and holy is his white as snow. name. and for fear of him the and his mercy is on them keepers did shake, and that fear him, throughout all became as dead men. generations. and the angel answered he hath shewed strength and said unto the women, fear with his arm; he hath scattered not ye; for i know that ye the fraud in the imagination seek jesus, which was crucified. of their hearts. he is not here: for he is risen, as he said. come, see the place where he hath put down the the lord lay. mighty from their seat, and hath exalted the humble and meek. and go quickly, and tell he hath filled the hungry his disciples, that he is risen with good things, and the rich from the dead. he hath sent empty away. { } in galilee shall ye see him: he remembering his mercy lo, i have told you. hath holpen his servant israel. fear not ye; for he is risen as he promised to our forefathers, as he said. abraham and his seed for ever. and very early in the first glory be to the father, and day of the week, they came to the son, and to the holy unto the sepulchre at the rising ghost: of the sun. and they said among themselves, as it was in the beginning, who shall roll us away is now, and ever shall be, the stone, and when they looked, world without end. amen. they saw that it was rolled away. we have now given examples of anthems, which show that they have their name from the responding of two choirs to one another[ ]. but anthems were not of necessity hymns of praise. the place provided at morning and evening prayer, for the singing of an anthem, is singularly ill-suited to the singing of a praise-anthem: for it is the place also of the litany. it is sometimes pleaded that people grow tired of prayer, by the end of the rd collect, and need a change: hence, after praying for three or four minutes, they rise up and sing praise for ten minutes, before kneeling again for seven or eight minutes. if we have grasped the reverent orderliness of the services, we shall not easily be persuaded that this was the design of the order at this place. we have elsewhere shown that an anthem here unites the collects which precede it, to those which follow. { } we must believe that there was an intention to provide an anthem book. until this is done by authority, it would be well to distinguish, in hymn books, between those hymns which are suitable in the midst of the prayers, and those which are appropriate as hymns of praise. the same might also be done in the anthem books, so that a praise-anthem, or hymn, might be sung at the close of the whole service. a prayer-anthem, or hymn, or one upon the redeemer's love, and his work as mediator, suits well as a modulation to the prayers after the rd collect. and it might be sung antiphonally. [ ] rabanus, _de inst. cler._ mart. iv. iv. . { } chapter xv. the service of prayer. iii. the litany. origin of litanies. some of the offices of holy communion--especially in the east--have had a portion after the gospel very similar to what we call a litany. thus in the liturgy (i.e. holy communion office) of s. james, the deacon says _the universal collect_, consisting of fifteen suffrages (see appendix f), each ending with, _let us beseech the lord_: and the response of the people is, _lord have mercy_, which is said thrice at the end of the petitions. similar to this is _the prayer of intense supplication_, in the liturgy of s. chrysostom. cf. also the modern liturgy of constantinople. we should expect to find the further development of litanies, in churches where the eastern influence was felt; it is therefore no surprise to us, that the history of them next takes us to the churches of southern france. "the south of gaul had been colonized originally from the eastern shores of the aegaean. its christianity came from the same regions as its colonization. the church of gaul was the { } spiritual daughter of the church of proconsular asia[ ]." pothinus, bp of lyons and vienne, had come probably from asia minor. when, at the age of more than , he was martyred (a.d. ), his successor as bishop was irenaeus, who received part of his early education in asia minor from polycarp, a disciple of s. john the evangelist. other martyrs, at vienne and lyons, in that year (a.d. ), had come from asia minor. a map will show that vienne is about miles south of lyons. thus from the first days of the church in france, a close connection existed between it and the church in asia minor. about a.d. [ ], mamertus, archbishop of vienne, ordered litanies to be said in procession on the three days before ascension day; being moved thereto by a succession of calamities--earthquake, war, wild beasts invading the city itself--followed shortly by the destruction of the royal palace in vienne by lightning. the practice spread to neighbouring dioceses, and was confirmed by the council of orleans (a.d. ). the three days before ascension day are thence called 'rogation days'; and processions for purposes of prayer are called rogations, or litanies. the rogation litanies were not adopted at rome { } until the time of leo iii. ( - ): but in a time of pestilence at rome, gregory the great, a.d. , instituted the sevenfold litany of s. mark's day. gregory the great has been called the apostle of the english, because he intended to come as a missionary to convert the english; and, when prevented from so doing by his election as bishop of rome, sent augustine in his stead a.d. . the yearly synod of the english church was appointed in to be held at cloveshoo--a place probably near london but in the kingdom of mercia. in at a great council held at cloveshoo, march was appointed as s. gregory's day; may as the day of s. augustine archbishop of canterbury[ ]; and gregory's sevenfold litany, together with the rogation services, was sanctioned for use in england, with a phrase which implies that custom had already introduced them. the nd book of homilies ( . see art. xxxv). contains a homily for rogation week in four parts--three of which appear to be designed for the three rogation days, and the fourth for the perambulation of the parish, or beating of the bounds--a custom which has survived into our own time. the parishioners walked along the outline of the parish, taking { } care that at least one of them passed through any obstruction which was built, or erected, across the boundary. thus, if a cottage were so built, a boy would be passed though the door and window of it. trees at corners were marked with a hatchet: a note book was preserved as a guide for the next perambulation. from this useful and ancient ceremony, rogation days were called by the anglo-saxons béddagas=prayer-days, or gang-dagas=perambulation-days. boundary stones, dated may , , are to be seen in the thickets of buckland woods, devon, showing that ascension day was chosen in that year for the perambulation of ashburton. more recently the perambulation of exeter has been performed on ascension day. the steps by which the religious dedication of the year's work, at each centre of agricultural industry, passed into a municipal ceremony accompanied by social amenities, may be conjectured. it was still a religious service--partly in the church and partly in the fields, in the time of queen elizabeth, and much later. litanies, however, have ceased to be processions. they are not said walking, but kneeling. the litany is to be said at some different place from the morning prayer: for, in the commination it is ordered, that part shall be said by the minister in the reading pew, or pulpit, and the rest "in the place where they are accustomed to say the litany." since this recognises an accustomed place, the kneeling desk or fald-stool[ ], placed "in front of the chancel door," or "in { } the midst of the church" (injunctions of edw. vi.), appears to be intended. for the order to kneel to say the litany, we must refer back to the rubric at the head of the collects in morning prayer, where the words, _all kneeling_, were added in (see p. ). the place of the faldstool may have been suggested by joel ii. , _let the priests, the ministers of the lord, weep between the porch and the altar_. structure of the litany. the litany is a series of prayers addressed mainly to god the son. it has two breaks, or interruptions, which consist of prayers addressed to god the father. thus there are five sections. section i. from the beginning, to _o christ, hear us_. thirty petitions to jesus under the title _good lord_, with invocation of holy trinity at the beginning, and urgent entreaty at the end. section ii. from _lord, have mercy upon us_, to _world without end_. amen. earnest appeal to the father, with _lesser litany_ as preface to the lord's prayer. section iii. _from our enemies_, to _o lord christ_. eight antiphonal prayers to christ. { } section iv. _o lord, let thy mercy_, to end of occasional prayers and thanksgivings. one fixed, and other variable, prayers for urgent needs. section v. the prayer of s. chrysostom, addressed to christ, and the benediction cor. xiii. notes. i. the invocation of the holy trinity in the st section is very full, and should be compared with the invocation which is used in section ii. as a preface to the lord's prayer. the words, _good lord_, are spoken to jesus: as we may easily infer from the words, _whom thou hast redeemed with thy most precious blood_; and from, _by the mystery of thy holy incarnation, by thine agony and bloody sweat_ &c. _son of god, o lamb of god, o christ_. ii. the lesser litany is to be repeated, verse by verse, by the congregation; copying, in this respect, the setting of the invocation at the beginning of section i. the beginning of the section being thus marked, the end of it is marked by the _gloria patri_. iii. we shall show that these eight verses are probably intended for antiphonal singing. iii. and iv. the sarum litany had here couplets of versicles and seven collects. of these seven collects we may mention, _o god, whose nature and property_ &c., _the prayer for clergy and people_, and the nd evening collect, _o god, from whom_ &c. the substitution of the two sections, as they now stand, may be quoted as an example of the improvements which were effected in the revision period. { } iv. the th section includes various prayers of the _amen_ form. the first of these may be known as the collect of complete confidence. it is made up of two older prayers, and the couplet which precedes it expresses each of those two older prayers in a brief sentence. thus the couplet anticipates the collect. [see also p. .] the other prayers of this section usually have equivalents in the first section. the repetition is made because of some urgency due to the circumstances of the time. thus, we have prayed for the clergy already, but in ember weeks we add, in the th section, a collect for the candidates for ordination. or again, we have prayed for sick people, but at this point we may add a collect for the time of any common plague or sickness. similarly, we have prayed for the preservation of the fruits of the earth, but may add a prayer here for rain, or fair weather, or for cheapness and plenty. section i. our cry to christ. the distinguishing feature of the litany is that it uses a worship-form which is not used elsewhere in the prayer book. the minister dictates briefly the subject of the prayer, which is then made by the voices of the people. these are called suffrages (from _suffragium_, latin for a vote in favour, or approbation). that part of the litany which is made in this way is very full and detailed. students should also notice the variety of its phrases, and the beauty of its rhythm. the use of such a form is ancient, and the revisers in had the substance ready to their hand. comparing the older litany with that which we use, we note that the revisers have frequently combined several suffrages to make one suffrage, as in the following instance: { } by thine agony and bloody by thy passion and cross: sweat; by thy cross and deliver us, o lord. passion; by thy precious death by thy precious death: and burial; by thy glorious deliver us, o lord. resurrection and ascension; by thy glorious resurrection: and by the coming of the holy deliver us, o lord. ghost: by thy marvellous ascension: deliver us, o lord. good lord, deliver us. by the grace of the holy spirit the comforter: deliver us, o lord. here five suffrages are grouped into one. in like manner four are grouped in the suffrage, _from all evil and mischief_ &c. the number of petitions was further reduced by the omission of all the prayers to the saints, entreating them to pray for us. these were very numerous-- fixed; and more, which varied according to the week-day. the petitions which were then introduced present two features which should be carefully studied--_duplication_ and _wreathing_[ ]. _duplication_ has been already explained (see p. ), and is here of the progressive sort. we give numerous instances below. _wreathing_ is when two phrases have two members each, and are united by taking the two first members together, and the two second members together. a simple instance of this is found in the union of the phrases, _by their preaching they may set forth,_ _and by their living they may shew accordingly_ { } the word of god. these, being wreathed together, become _that by their preaching and living they may set it forth and shew it accordingly_. in such combinations it is necessary that the ideas shall be in harmony with one another. god's truth is set forth in sermons, and shewn in the preacher's life: with rather less exactness, but with sufficient truth, and with admirable suggestion, we may say that god's truth is set forth in the good life of a preacher, and shewn in his sermons. one of the best instances of wreathing is in the combination of the three phrases _succour all that are in danger,_ _help all that are in necessity,_ _comfort all that are in tribulation._ danger, necessity, and tribulation are in progressive order of calamity. in danger, the calamity may be avoided--we want support for our own strength: in necessity, the blow has fallen--we want help at once from outside: in tribulation, the disaster has come--we want comfort. if we have understood progressive duplication, we shall at once see that wreathing is used in unison with it. it is convenient to describe the st section of the litany, as consisting of four subsections, viz. invocations, deprecations, obsecrations, and intercessions. the invocations are said by the minister, and repeated by the congregation. the prayers of the other sub-sections formerly were also said twice; but, since , are said in two parts, the congregation making the respond which contains the prayer. this is done { } not only for variety, but to assist the blind, or unlearned, in uniting their voices with the rest of the people. it is moreover an exercise of the privilege of approach to god, granted by our lord ( pet. ii. ; s. matth. xviii. , ), which is sometimes forgotten in thoughts of the ministry which he appointed. _progressive duplication &c._ the groups of sins and sufferings from which we desire to be delivered supply instances of progress, from that which is less, to that which is more, serious. most of these are obvious, and call for no further remark. deprecations (prayer for deliverance). . _spare thy people, o lord_: joel ii. . . _crafts and assaults_: the crafty enemy is one who cannot, or dare not, attack openly. hence assaults imply greater strength, or greater courage, than crafts. . of personal defects, _blindness of heart_ may be due at first to causes for which we are not responsible. _pride_ is that which is too well satisfied with itself: _vain-glory_ is that which seeks admiration from others; _hypocrisy_ is that which seeks admiration on false pretences. _envy_ is the desire to injure, and grows into _hatred_, which has perhaps a vestige of candour that is absent from _malice_. and . _deadly sin_. all sin is deadly unless it is forgiven by god; on the other hand "after we have { } received the holy ghost, we may depart from grace given, and fall into sin, and by the grace of god we may arise again, and amend our lives," "the grant of repentance is not to be denied to such" (article xvi.). it should be remembered that our lord has taught us to interpret the commandments inclusively, so that they comprise all duties, and all sins--envy, hatred, and malice, as well as murder, for instance. the old distinction between deadly sins and venial sins has in it only an element of truth. those named deadly sins were pride, covetousness, lust, envy, gluttony, anger, sloth. of these pride, lust, and envy are mentioned here, being notable amongst sins which war against the soul. two phrases here include all sins: "all deadly sin," and, "the deceits of the world, the flesh, and the devil." it is not easy to decide whether such a sin as idleness falls under the head of covetousness, or sloth, or pride; nor whether it is a deceit of the world, the flesh, or the devil. these classifications do, however, help in self-examination, and sometimes suggest helps in the battle against our sins. . _plague, pestilence, and famine_ form a group in which we see that famine is the most serious, because it attacks the whole community. plague is a disease which befalls us as a blow (_plege_); pestilence is a disease which spreads from one to another. science tends to enlarge the host of pestilences, and diminish the number of death-blows which cannot be explained. it is apparent that a disease which spreads through a community is more dreadful than one which singles out one person or many. { } _battle, murder, and sudden death_, are blows which may fall upon us; it is not prayer that we may be delivered from being soldiers, and from the crime of murder. . _sedition, privy conspiracy, and rebellion_: sedition is the thought; conspiracy, the plan; and rebellion, the action--of a subject against the government. _false doctrine, heresy and schism_: false doctrine is the thought; heresy, the plan; and schism, the action--of a churchman against the church, and its lord. _hardness of heart_, is a disposition to disobey what we know to be the command of god. if not checked, it grows into actual _contempt of his word and commandment_. obsecrations. (entreaty mentioning the plea.) and . _incarnation_: s. john i. ; rom. i. . _nativity_: s. luke ii. . circumcision: s. luke ii. . _baptism_: s. matth. iii. . _fasting and temptation_: s. luke iv. , . _agony and bloody sweat_: s. luke xxii. . _cross and passion_: s. matth. xxvii. - ; heb. v. . _death and burial_: s. mark xv. , . _resurrection_: s. matth. xxviii. - . _ascension_: acts i. ; tim. iii. . _the coming of the holy ghost_: acts ii. , . . _tribulation, wealth, death, judgment_ are the four times of special need. tribulation is derived from threshing, or crushing. { } wealth is well-doing, or welfare. prosperity and adversity are both times of temptation. intercessions. (prayer for others.) . _universal_ is equivalent to catholic. . _governor_ refers to the relation of the sovereign to the church. . _faith, fear, and love_, an ascending order of submission to god. _affiance_=trust. , . the names of the sovereign, and of the royal family, vary in these petitions. a prayer book of has king charles, queen catherine, and james duke of york. in , king george, queen charlotte, george prince of wales, and the princess of wales. in , queen victoria, prince albert, and albert prince of wales. the date of a prayer book is sometimes omitted from a title page, but may be learnt from these petitions more accurately than from the table of moveable feasts. it is, i believe, left to the sovereign to say who is to be mentioned, and by what titles. . _bishops_: successors of the apostles as overseers of the churches ( tim. i. ; tim. ii. ; tit. i. , ii. ). the word _epirkopos_(= overseer) is contracted into bishop in many languages, with slight differences, e.g. old english, dutch, german, swedish, cornish. in spanish it becomes obispo; in italian, vescovo; in french, �vêque. _priests_: successors of the elders, or presbyters, who ministered in congregations (acts xx. ). as the bishop has the oversight of many congregations with their priests and deacons, so the priest { } has the oversight of one congregation, or parish. in this sense he might be called overseer, or bishop, of that parish, and s. paul's use of this word in tim. iii. has suggested that, while the apostles lived, the word bishop was used as much in this sense as in the other. when the word bishop was required for the apostolic office, the word priest remained for the second order of the ministry. priest is contracted from presbyter, and appears with slight variations in many languages. _deacons_. the seven appointed in acts vi. are not there called deacons, but they are assumed to be the first who were appointed to that office, or order of the ministry. in some ancient churches they retained the practice of having seven deacons. the word means minister, and has come from the greek into many languages with slight variations. like the word bishop, it is used in the n.t. of other orders of the ministry (s. paul, cor. iii. ; cor. iii. ; eph. iii. , &c.: epaphras, col. i. : tychicus, eph. vi. : timothy, tim. iv. : archippus, col. iv. ). although in tim. iv. the word is used of timothy, who was receiving commandment as overseer of all the clergy at ephesus, we find in tim. iii. - that deacons were already church ministers, with official duties ( tim. iii. )[ ]. { } shew it _accordingly_: i.e. shew it in accordance with their preaching. the "teaching" and "living" must agree together. . the council of the king of england had, from of old, the duty of making, or approving, the choice of the king, and advising him on matters of state, and of law. many of its duties have been deputed to committees, to judges, and to parliament. the cabinet of chief ministers of state may be regarded as a committee of the king's council. in the reign of charles ii., when the prayer book was last revised, the council was still the body whose advice guided the king, although it was growing too large for the secrecy which is often necessary in such weighty matters. it is still a very great honour to be made a privy councillor, but the privy council very seldom, or never, meets for business except by its committees, which are not chosen by the council. when therefore we use this petition, we may think rather of the members of the cabinet than of those whom the king has honoured with the title of privy councillor. a petition for the house of commons might with advantage be introduced into the litany. . _to execute justice_, in the case which is being tried, is the first duty of a magistrate; _to maintain truth_ is also his duty, for he must have regard to other cases which will come before the court. . this concludes the petitions for our own nation. we now go on to things which affect all nations alike. . _unity, peace, and concord_. the general meaning of these words is the same, but there may { } be unity without peace, and peace without concord: therefore we pray for all the three; and concord is placed last as being the inward temper which gives reality to unity and peace. . here the order is reversed--proceeding from love which is the highest kind of bond, to _dread_ which should keep us from disobedience, and coming finally to the outward result viz. _a diligent life of obedience to the commandments_. . takes up the last thought of the previous suffrage. the life of obedience is here traced from hearing to receiving, and so, _to the fruits of the spirit_ (see gal. v. - ). . _erred_ is when the fault is in ourselves only; _deceived_ is when we give way to the evil guidance of others. . those who _stand_ need strength: those who are _weak-hearted_ need comfort and help: those who _fall_, restoration. . see p. . . emigration has become more common since this petition was prepared: those who settle in foreign lands should here be remembered. _captives_ are war-prisoners. . we may mentally supply the thought of _motherless_ children. widows may be supposed to include widowers. both sexes are described as widows in some parts of england. all kinds of bereavement are of course included in _desolate and oppressed_. . just as concluded a section of petitions { } for our own nation, so concludes a section about the people of all nations. adds a petition which the lord particularly enjoined (s. matth. v. ). . _enemies, persecutors_, and _slanderers_--in ascending order of malignity. similarly in the commandments, where the worst sin of each sort is the one mentioned, we find false witness, or slander, named, in the commandment which forbids all falsehood. _and to turn their hearts_--a nobler prayer even than asking god to forgive them: for when we have asked him for their forgiveness, we may still long to overcome their hostility, rather than to see it withdrawn. as christ's disciples we here desire to forego our triumph, and to rejoice over their conversion from evil. . kindly fruits of the earth. 'kindly' means 'natural'; from an old english word 'cynd' or 'gecynd,' meaning _nature, kind, manner, condition_. (cf. gen. i. , , , , .)[ ] . although forgiveness is granted through the death of our lord, repentance is that condition of our souls wherein the forgiveness cleanses them. _repentance_ is therefore asked for first, then _forgiveness, grace_, and _amendment_. _sins, negligences, and ignorances_: cf. general confession, 'left undone'=negligence; 'done'=sins; 'no health in us' supplying the other defects, which are here set down to ignorance. we are called to a holy life, and therefore faults due to ignorance need { } amendment and pardon, as well as faults which come of conscious disobedience to god's commands. at the close of these petitions, the cry becomes more urgent. our lord warned us against vain repetitions--repetitions without meaning. the repetitions here are not vain--they express deep feelings, and anxious entreaty. section ii. our cry to the father in heaven. the couplet _o lord, deal not with us_, &c. _neither reward us_, &c. belongs to the _prayer of the contrite heart_, and is a summary of it. it is taken from psalm ciii. . it offers no excuse but owns that we have sinned and are in wretched plight, as does the prayer which follows. this prayer was taken from the sarum missal, where it stands in a mass for tribulation of heart. ps. li. supplies the thought of, that _despisest not--the contrite heart_, which is interwoven with, _sorrowful sighing_, from psalm lxxix. . we base our claim upon our forlorn condition, and appeal to god's mercy. note the repetition _merciful--mercifully--graciously--goodness_. the temper of the prayer is of kin to psalm lxix. which--especially in verses to , and in its final thankfulness, as sure of god's help--may have inspired its words and thoughts. _psalm xliv_. _ st and last verses_. doubtless an abbreviation of the whole psalm, which stood at the beginning of the rd rogation litany. { } if it be thought that the gloria patri occurs as a surprise in the midst of these entreaties, we may notice ( ) that all entreaties are more real when they recognise truly the majesty of god; and ( ) that s. augustine's processional litany when he came to canterbury (a.d. ) concluded with alleluia. "we beseech thee, o lord, in all thy mercy, that thy wrath and thine anger may be removed from this city and from thy holy house, for we have sinned. alleluia." (taken from the nd rogation litany), ( ) the _gloria patri_ is always said after a psalm in the services, and sometimes after parts of a psalm. section iii. appeal for help. the eight versicles which follow next are addressed to christ, and in most editions of the prayer book are separated by a small space from the verse and respond, _priest_. o lord, let thy mercy, &c. _answer_. as we do put, &c. these eight versicles were, even in , distinguished from those two, although they were then all marked to be said responsorially. in the direction for responsorial use was omitted for the eight verses, and retained for the couplet which anticipates the next collect. we may infer from this that it is intended that the eight verses should be said, or sung, antiphonally. in the sarum use ( rd litany for s. mark's day), they were all to be said, first by the minister, and repeated by the people. the eight versicles form a section by themselves, and have a different setting from the sections which { } precede and follow them. it was, no doubt, intended to make this rd section a very solemn appeal to christ, for help in all those difficulties and anxieties which have been recited in section i.; and to make this appeal more earnest, _because_ of the evil plight which is acknowledged in section ii. the phrases are freely translated from the latin of the sarum use, suggested by a thorough knowledge of the psalms, but not, we believe, to be regarded as quotations therefrom. _o son of david_ was substituted for _fili dei vivi_, in making the translation. there is not sufficient ground for supposing that it was done by accident. in the appeal for a merciful hearing, it is right to ground it first upon his human nature as son of man, and then upon his divine nature as christ, and lord. section iv. the pressing anxieties of the moment. the _collect of complete confidence_, with its verse and respond, is placed here to strike the keynote of the section: and the section is filled up from the occasional prayers, or from the collects after the communion service. this is obviously the place where other prayers may be introduced, when urgent needs require them. the _verse and respond_: psalm xxxiii. . the first half of the collect was formerly a complete prayer, separated from the other half, in the litany of , by _o god whose nature_, &c., the prayer _for { } clergy and people_, and another prayer. the verse contains the thought of the first half, the respond has the thought of the second half. since the special prayers which are used in this section are only occasional, and rarely more than one or two at a time, they were all placed ( ) in a chapter by themselves, after the end of the litany. section v. _the final commendation of our prayers to christ, who makes them acceptable_: see morning and evening prayer. [ ] lightfoot, _apost. fathers_, pt. ii. vol. . p. . [ ] this date is variously stated. hotham in _dict. chr. ant._ vol. . says ; scudamore in the same vol. ; hooker 'about '; burbidge ; maclear (s.p.c.k.) and prayer book interleaved ; proctor 'about '; daniel, j. h. blunt, and barry . the dates _known_ of mamertus are between and . (professor collins tells me no others are known.) [ ] in some churches this day was the festival of augustine, bp of hippo. the calendar of le bec, however, sets it down to our augustine, as our own calendar does. i do not know whether this agreement between them was after, or before, that famous abbey sent us lanfranc and anselm to be successors of augustine at canterbury. [ ] fald-stool. faudestola (whence french, fauteuil) is said by martene to be adopted into latin; and by brachet is traced to a german origin, falt-stuol. the idea of these derivations is, that the prie-dieu, or kneeling-desk, was able to fold up and be made, perhaps, a chair. but the connection with rogations suggests (a.s.) feald-stól, or feld-stól (german feld-stuhl), i.e. a moveable seat (cf. camp-stool). [ ] see george herbert's poem, "a wreath." [ ] the settlement of words of general meaning, into titles of office, is frequent enough to supply ample illustration of the process briefly indicated above. pastor, general, major, mayor, and many other words, including rector, vicar, curate, may be traced through changes which are often singularly similar to those of bishop, priest, and deacon. it is a natural process--so natural as to be almost invariable. [ ] the greek translation of our prayer book has _oraious_, timely or seasonable: the german has "lieben," dear, beloved, or kindly in the other sense, which, though as old as chaucer's time, is not the meaning here. appendix c. on the lessons in the day hours, (p. .) the preface to the prayer book _concerning the service of the church_ states that, prior to , the old order, for reading the greatest part of the bible through every year, had been "so altered, broken, and neglected, that commonly when any book of the bible was begun, after three or four chapters were read out, all the rest were unread." there was a first lesson from the old testament, a second lesson from a commentary, and a third lesson from the new testament. { } on certain days, each lesson consisted of three parts; and the second and third parts of the third lesson were from a commentary. the occurrence of saints' days was so frequent as to disturb many of these: for the special lessons of a saint's day were read, instead of those of the regular course. the theory of reading the whole books had been maintained; but it broke down in practice. it is worthy of notice that these various lessons, from the bible, from commentaries, and from the acts and martyrdoms of saints, were all "set" with verses, responds etc. so as to be acts of worship, as well as a means of instruction. appendix d. on pliny's letter to the emperor trajan. (p. .) [pliny the younger was governor of pontus and bithynia during some of the early years of the nd century. trajan was emperor from a.d. to . the letter, from which we give some extracts, has been dated (bp lightfoot) a.d. . it shows that the marvellous spreading of the faith took place in the face of laws which made it a crime to be a christian: and that the closest enquiry on pliny's part made him aware of their high moral standard, and of the stedfastness of their devotion.] "* * * the method i have observed towards those who have been brought before me as christians is this; i interrogated them whether they were christians; { } if they confessed, i repeated the question twice, adding threats at the same time; and if they still persevered, i ordered them to be immediately punished. for, i was persuaded, whatever the nature of their opinions might be, a contumacious and inflexible obstinacy certainly deserves correction. * * * an information was presented to me without any name subscribed, containing a charge against several persons; these, upon examination, denied they were, or ever had been, christians. they repeated after me an invocation to the gods, and offered religious rites with wine and frankincense before your statue * * * and even reviled the name of christ; whereas there is no forcing, it is said, those who are really christians, into any of these compliances. * * * the rest owned indeed they had been of that number formerly, but had now (some above three, others more, and a few above twenty years ago) renounced that error. * * * they affirmed the whole of their guilt, or their error, was, that they met on a certain stated day before it was light, and addressed themselves in a form of prayer to christ, as to some god, binding themselves by a solemn oath, not for the purposes of any wicked design, but never to commit any fraud, theft, or adultery; never to falsify their word, nor deny a trust when they should be called upon to deliver it up: after which, it was their custom to separate, and then reassemble to eat in common a harmless meal. * * * great numbers must be involved in the danger of these prosecutions which have already extended and are still likely to extend, to persons of all ranks and ages, and even of both sexes. in fact, this contagious superstition is not confined to the cities only, but has spread its infection among the neighbouring villages and country. * * *" _melmoth's translation_ ( ). { } appendix e. on the addition of "filioque" to the creed. (p. .) the nicene creed ( ) had the words "_proceeding from the father_": the council of ephesus ( [ ]) decreed that no addition was to be made to the creed, as there settled. when, however, the question was raised whether we ought not to say "proceeding from the father, _and the son_ (filioque)," various scripture phrases were adduced in support of it: such as, _the spirit of christ_ (rom. viii. ), _the spirit of his son_ (gal. iv. ), _the supply of the spirit of jesus christ_ (phil. i. ), _the spirit of christ_ ( pet. i. ). also s. john xv. , xvi. , xx. , and the general similarity of expressions which, speaking of the holy spirit, refer to the father, and to the son. the eastern churches were opposed to the addition of the words, "and from the son." the western churches were, mainly, in favour of it. the controversy lasted from the th to the th century, and resulted in the schism which still separates the eastern and western churches. it is usually agreed that the difference is not one of doctrine. the easterns prefer the phrase "receiving from the son": the westerns prefer to assert afresh the equality of the father and the son, by using the phrase, "proceeding from the father and the son." it may be { } doubted whether the words should have been added without the assent of a general council. but there is no denial of the equality of the father, the son, and the holy ghost, in the eastern, nor in the western, churches. [ ] on p. , we have accidentally written 'chalcedon' for 'ephesus': and _vice versâ_. the dates are correctly given on pp. , . appendix f. on the greek origin of litanies (p. ). _litany_ comes from the greek _litaneia_. _lite_ means a prayer; whence (_litanos_) one who prays; _litaneuo_ to be a person who prays; _litaneia_ a continued prayer. thus _litany_ has the meaning of "prolonged prayers." in _the (greek) liturgy of s. james_, there are three bidding prayers (besides the "diptychs"), which have something of the litany form. the following suffrages are selected from the one to which we have referred: "_the deacon_. let us beseech the lord in peace. _the laity_. lord, have mercy. _the deacon_. o god, by thy love grant us safety, mercy, compassion, and protection. _the laity_. lord, have mercy. _the deacon_. for the peace that is from above, for the love of god towards man, and for the safety of our souls, let us beseech the lord. _the laity_ (after each suffrage). lord, have mercy. _the deacon_. for the peace of the whole world, and the unity of all the holy churches of god, let us &c. { } for those who bear fruit and do good in the holy churches of god, those who remember the poor, the widows, and fatherless, strangers and needy persons, and for those who have bidden us to remember them in our prayers, let us &c. for those who are in old age and weakness, by disease or illness, for those who are oppressed by unclean spirits, for their speedy recovery and safety through god's help, let us &c. for those who pass their lives in singleness, devotion, or meditation, for those in holy matrimony, those engaged in life's battle in mountains, and caves, and pits of the earth, our holy fathers and brothers, let us &c. for christian sailors, travellers, strangers, and those in captivity, in exile, those in prisons, and bitter slavery, being our brethren, for their return in peace, let us &c. for the remission of our sins, and pardon of our faults, and for our deliverance from all tribulation, anger, danger, and necessity, and from the rising-up of enemies, let us &c. for a mild season, gentle rains, and kindly dews, for plenteous crops, and a perfect year crowned (with his goodness), let us &c. for those who are present and pray with us at this sacred hour and at any time, our fathers and brothers, for their earnestness, toil, and readiness of heart, let us beseech the lord. that our prayer may be heard, and may be acceptable before god; and that his mercies and compassions may be poured abundantly upon us, let us beseech the lord." * * * * * * * * { } dates. the principal dates which are of use in reading this book fall into four groups: . the early church. . the discussion of the creed. . the growth of services. . the growth of the english services. there is of course a certain amount of overlapping: but this will be readily understood. the reader will also easily guess when the years mentioned are those of a life, or those of a reign. early dates. a.d. a.d. - . tiberius, emp. - . nero, emp. - . trajan, emp. . pliny's letter. -( ). tacitus, hist. -( ). suetonius, hist. - . antoninus pius, emp. . justin's st apology. - . polycarp, bp. - . marcus aurelius, emp. - . pothinus, bp. ( )- . irenaeus, bp. -( ). tertullian. - . origen. - . cyprian, bp. - . constantine, emp. { } the discussion of the articles of the creed. doubts. writers. councils. creed. first & second centuries. ebionites. irenaeus, abt . tertullian, abt . docetae. gnostics. third century. cyprian, bp, ? apostles' ? . creed. sabellians. arians. fourth century. athanasius, bp, nicaea, . ) nicene ( )- . ) creed ) basil, bp, ) - ) ) apollinarians. ambrose, bp, constantinople, ) - . . ) chrysostom, bp, ( )- . fifth century. jerome, - . nestorians. augustine, bp, ephesus, . - . eutychians, or ) chalcedon, . monophysites. ) seventh century. monothelites. constantinople, 'athanasian' . creed. { } dates connected with the growth of the christian service books. a.d. . pliny's letter. . justin martyr's st apology. - . ambrose, bp of milan. - . chrysostom, bp of constantinople. before . clementine liturgy. - . mamertus, bp of vienne. _litanies_. - . gregory, bp of rome. _litany: sacramentary_. sacramentaries of th century, &c., representing work of - . leo, bp of rome. - . gelasius, bp of rome. - . gregory, bp of rome. - . charlemagne. abolition of gallican liturgy. . great council of cloveshoo. dates connected with the growth of the service books in england. . christianity already established in britain. (_tertullian_.) . council at arles in france. three british bishops signed. - . augustine, archbishop of canterbury. . council of whitby. . the great council of cloveshoo. restraints upon the influence of the pope in england. . magna charta. . statute of mortmain. . statute of provisors. . statute of praemunire. { } translations of the bible revisions of the prayer book in england. in england. th century. psalms (_saxon_). the gospels (_egbert_). s. john (_bede_). . the psalms (_king alfred_). . the sarum use. - . wyclifs bible. - . tyndale. . coverdale. . cranmer (the great bible). . the king's primer. . the order of the communion. . first revision in english. . second revision in english. . (latin) uses restored. - . third revision in english. . the bishops' bible. . fourth revision. . the authorised version. - . prayer book forbidden by the long parliament. - . fifth revision. . new lectionary. . shortened services allowed. , . the revised version. { } index. absolution, , , alcuin, alexandrine ms., , ambrose, bp of milan, , , n., , , amen, , , , , - , anthem, , , , , , - antiphon, , , , , , , , antiphonal, , , , , antiphonary, , , , apocrypha, , apollinarian, arian and arius, , , athanasian, see creed athanasius, augustine, archbp of canterbury, , augustine, bp of hippo, , , , , authorised, see bible basil, bp of caesarea, n., , benedicite, , , , - , benedictus, , , - bible, - , -- authorised v., , -- bishops', , -- great, -- revised v., -- wyclif, breviary, , , bright, , , calendar, cambridge companion, canon, cantate, , , canticles, , , , , , , , , capitulum, , cartwright, , catholic church, , , , , - catholic religion, , chalcedon council, , , chant, charlemagne, , chaucer, choral singing, christian verity, , chrysostom, bp of constantinople, n., , , , clementine liturgy, cloveshoo, collecta, collectio, , collects, , , , - combination of services, - communion, holy, , , , , communion of saints, compline, , , , confession, , , , - , consubstantial, continuous singing, controversy, - corinth, cosin, bp of durham, , n. creeds, - creed, apostles', , , - , - , , creed, athanasian, , , , - creed, nicene, , , , , , , cyprian, bp of carthage, , daily service, , day hours, , , , , , , - , , deus misereatur, , , direct singing, docetae, , doxology, , , , , , doxology in te deum, duplication, , , , , , - ebionite, edward vi., , , , ember prayers, -- week, ephesus council, eusebius, eutyches, eutychian, , evangelistarium, see lectionaries evensong, , , , , and see mattins excursus, exhortation, , , extempore worship, , , faldstool, - festivals, forms of worship, , , , gallican church, gelasian sacramentary, , , , gelasius, gloria patri, , , , , , , , , , - , , , , gnostic, gradual, great bible, see bible gregory the great, , hampton court conference, haphtarah, harvey goodwin, , hebrew, henry viii., hilary of arles, , -- poictiers, homilies, honorius, hook, hooker, , hours of prayer, - hymns, , , , - , , , , hymn, greek, intention, , , , intercessions, , - interjectional, , , , , introductory, , invitatory, invocations, irenaeus, , , , , jerome, s., , , jew, , jewish influence, -- lectionary, jubilate, , , , justification, justin martyr, , , , kay, keble, keynote, , latin services, lauds, , , , , , , , , , , lectern, lectionaries, - , legenda, leo the great, lessons, , , , , , , , - , , , , , appendix c, litany, , , , - -- lesser, , , , liturgy, , , -- of s. james, lord's prayer, , , - , , , , macedonius, bp of constantinople, magnificat, , , , - mamertus, bp of vienne, manichaean, manual, manuscripts, map of lessons, mattin-lauds, , , , , mattins, , , , , , missal, monothelites, monophysites, , morning service, , , names and titles, nero, , nestorian, , , new testament, nicene, see creed nocturn, none, , nunc dimittis, , , , obsecrations, , occasional prayers and thanksgivings, , , , - office hymns, old testament, , ordinary, , original sin, ornaments, , o sapientia, parascha, pater noster, paul, s., petitions, pie, pliny, , appendix d, - polycarp, portiforium, pothinus, praise terminations, - , , , , , , prayers, , - preceded form, , preces, , , , , , - predestination, preface, , - , , , , , prime, , , n. proper lessons, prophets, , psalms, , , , - , , n., psalms, method of singing, , psalter, , quicunque vult, , reading, responds, , responsorial, , resurrection, , revelation, , , revision and revisers, , , , , , , , , rogation days, - -- litanies, , rubrics, , , , , , , sabellian, sacramental, sacramentary, - sanctification, sarum breviary, , , -- litany, sarum missal, -- use, , , , , scripture, holy, seats, self-examination, , semi-arian, sentences, septuagint, , services, setting, , , n., , , sext, , socrates, , , , special psalms, stanzas of te deum, - substance, suetonius, suffrage, , etc. surplice, symbolum, synagogue services, , , table of worship forms, tacitus, - te deum, , , - , , , temple, terce, , tertullian, testament, o. and n., thanksgivings, , , , , , , theodosius, tiberius, translation, translators, , travers, walter, uses, see sarum variations, - variety, venite, , , , , verity, christian, , verse and respond, , - , , , versicles, , , vespers, , , , , , , vulgate, , witness of bible, , , - worship, , -- forms, , , , wreathing, - zacharias, zechariah, in answer to prayer by the right rev. the bishop of ripon, the rev. dr. cuyler, the rev. dr. john watson ("ian maclaren"), the rev. canon knox little, mr. william quarrier, mr. l. k. shaw, the rev. dr. horton, the rev. h. price hughes, the rev. dr. clifford, and the dean of salisbury new york dodd, mead & company _prefatory note_ _the following pages were originally written for the sunday magazine. in their present form it is hoped that they will reach another and not less appreciative public._ _although dr. watson's contribution is of a character quite distinct from the other papers, it treats of a phase of religious experience so closely allied to that of answered prayer that it seems in the present collection to serve as a stage of transition from the sphere of the unseen and spiritual to that of the visible and tangible._ contents in answer to prayer page by the right rev. w. boyd carpenter, lord bishop of ripon by the rev. theodore l. cuyler, d.d., of new york by the rev. john watson, m.a., d.d. ("ian maclaren") by the rev. canon knox little, m.a. by mr. william quarrier, of glasgow by mr. leonard k. shaw, of manchester by the rev. r. f. horton, m.a., d.d. by the rev. h. price hughes, m.a. by the rev. j. clifford, m.a., d.d. by the very rev. g. d. boyle, m.a., dean of salisbury i by the right rev. w. boyd carpenter, d.d. lord bishop of ripon i have been asked to write some thoughts on answers to prayer. i am afraid that i cannot give from personal experience vivid and striking anecdotes such as others have chronicled. god does not deal with all alike, either in his gifts of faith or in those of experience. we differ also in the use we make of his gifts. but if i mistake not the object of these papers is not merely to gather together an array of startling experiences, but rather to unite in conference on the great subject of prayer and the answers to prayer. no doubt every christian spirit holds within his memory many cherished experiences of god's dealings with him, and these must touch the question of prayer. but the greater part of these experiences belong to that sanctuary life of the soul which, rightly or wrongly, we keep veiled from the world. there are some matters which would lose their charm if they were made public property. there is a reticence which is of faith, just as there may be a reticence which is of cowardice or unfaith. but like the little home treasures, which we only open to look upon when we are alone, so are some of the secret treasures of inward experiences. nevertheless, none of us can have lived and thought without meeting with a sort of general confirmation or otherwise of the efficacy of prayer; and though i cannot chronicle positive and striking examples, i can say what i have known. i have known men of a naturally timid and sensitive disposition who have grown at moments lion-like in courage, and they would tell you that courage came to them in prayer. i have known one man, who found himself face to face with a duty which was unexpected and from which he shrank with all his soul. i have known that such a one has prayed that the duty might not be pressed upon him, and yet that, if it were, he might be given strength to fulfil it. the duty still confronted him. in trembling and in much dismay he undertook it; and when the hour came, it found him calm and equable in spirit, neither dismayed nor demoralised by fears. such a one might not tell of great outward answers to prayer; but inward answers are not less real. at any rate, the psalmist chronicled an answer such as this when he wrote: "in the day when i cried thou answeredst me and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul" (psalm cxxxviii. ). there is, further, a paradox of christian experience which may be noted. the soul which waits upon god finds out sooner or later that the prayers which seem to be unanswered are those which may be most truly answered. for what is the answer to prayer which the praying heart looks for? there is no true prayer without the proviso--nevertheless not what i will, but what thou wilt. in other words, there is no true prayer without reliance upon the greater wisdom and greater love of him to whom we pray. thus it is that god's answer may not be the answer as we looked for it. we form our expectations: they take shape from our poor little limited surroundings; but the prayer in its spirit may be wider than we imagine. to answer it according to our expectations might be not to answer it truly. to answer it according to our real meaning--_i.e._, according to our spiritual desire--must be the true answer to prayer. one illustration will suffice. a man, pressed by difficulty and straitness, may pray that he may be moved to some place of greater freedom and ease. he thinks that he ought to move elsewhere. he prays for guidance and the openings of god's providence. in a short time a vacant post presents itself: he applies for it, it is just the thing he wished for. he continues his prayers. the post is given to another. his prayers have not been answered: such is his conclusion; but is not the answer really--"not yet--not yet--wait awhile. my grace is sufficient for thee"? he waits; he leaves his life in god's hands. after an interval another opening occurs, and almost without an effort he is moved to the vacant place. it is this time, perhaps, not the kind of place he thought of; it is less interesting, it is more onerous, it fills him with fear as he undertakes its duties. he has prayed, but the answer came not as he wished or thought or hoped. the years go by. he looks back from the vantage-ground of distance. he can measure his life in better proportions. he sees now that the movements of his life have a deep meaning. he perceives that to have gone where he wished to have gone, and even where he prayed to be placed, would have been to miss some of the best experiences and highest trainings of this life. he begins to realise that there is not a spot which he has visited, not a place where he has toiled, which has not brought to him lessons that have been most helpful, nay, even needful, in his later life. he sees that god has sent him here or there to fit him for work which, unknown and unexpected in his earlier days, the future was to bring. the least-answered prayer may be the most-answered. it is the realisation that experiences fit us for the duties of later life which yields to us the assurance that in the deepest sense our seemingly disregarded prayers have been most abundantly remembered before god. thus, indeed, we can enter into the spirit of familiar words and acknowledge concerning each prayer that it is "goodness still, which grants it or denies." and so it may come to pass in later life that our specific petitions for this or that thing may grow fewer. we may realise more and more our own ignorance in asking. we may rely more and more on the divine wisdom in giving. even in the case of others we may recognise the unwisdom of asking many things on their behalf. our love would tenderly shield them from rough winds and bitter hours. we pray that the divine love would spare them dark days; and yet, are the prayers well prayed? does god not lead souls through darkness into light? is not the valley of the shadow the precursor of the table of love which god spreads? can the head be anointed with god's kingly oil which has not been bowed down in the darkness? ah! how little we know! how short-sighted we are! and how great and full and strong god's love is! and, this being so, may not experience bring us larger trust and lesser prayers--not less, indeed, in intensity, not less in the wrestling of spirit; not less in the striving to reach nearer to god's will, but less in the number and specific character of our petitions? to put it another way--the petitions are fewer because the prayer is deeper and truer. "not my weak longings, lord, fulfil, but rather do thy perfect will, for i am blind and wish for things which granted bring heart-festerings. let me but know that i am blind, let me but trust thee wondrous kind." ii by the rev. theodore l. cuyler, d.d. of new york all of god's mighty men and women have been mighty in prayer. when martin luther was in the mid-valley of his conflict with the man of sin he used to say that he could not get on without three hours a day in prayer. charles g. finney's grip on god gave him a tremendous grip on sinners' hearts. the greatest preacher of our times--spurgeon--had pre-eminently the "gift of the knees;" the last prayer i ever heard him utter (at his own family worship) was one of the most wonderful that i ever listened to; it revealed the hiding of his power. abraham lincoln once said: "i have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that i had nowhere else to go; my own wisdom and that of all around me seemed insufficient for the day." but what is prayer? has every prayer power with god? let us endeavour to get some clear ideas on that point. some people seem to regard prayer as the rehearsal of a set form of solemn words, learned largely from the bible or a liturgy; and when uttered they are only from the throat outward. genuine prayer is a believing soul's _direct converse with_ god. phillips brooks has condensed it into four words--a "true wish sent godward." by it, adoration, thanksgiving, confession of sin, and petition for mercies and gifts ascend to the throne, and by means of it infinite blessings are brought down from heaven. the pull of our prayer may not move the everlasting throne, but--like the pull on a line from the bow of a boat--it may draw us into closer fellowship with god, and fuller harmony with his wise and holy will. . this is the first characteristic of the prayer that has power: "delight thyself in the lord and he shall give thee the desires of thy heart." a great many prayers are born of selfishness and are too much like dictation or command. none of god's promises are unconditional; and we have no such assets to our credit that we have a right to draw our cheques and demand that god shall pay them. the indispensable quality of all right asking is a _right spirit toward our heavenly father_. when a soul feels such an entire submissiveness towards god that it delights in seeing him reign, and his glory advanced, it may fearlessly pour out its desires; for then the desires of god and the desires of that sincere submissive soul will _agree_. god loves to give to them who love to let him have his way; they find their happiness in the chime of their own desires with the will of god. james and john once came to jesus and made to him the amazing request that he would place one of them on his right hand and the other on his left hand when he set up his imperial government at jerusalem! as long as these self-seeking disciples sought only their own glory, christ could not give them the askings of their ambitious hearts. by-and-by, when their hearts had been renewed by the holy spirit, and they had become so consecrated to christ that they were in complete chime with him, they were not afraid to pour out their deepest desires. james declares that, if we do not "ask _amiss_," god will "give liberally." john declares that "whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments and do those things that are pleasing in his sight." just as soon as those two christians found their supreme happiness in christ and his cause they received the desires of their hearts. . the second trait of prevailing prayer is that it aims at a mark, and knows what it is after. when we enter a store or shop we ask the salesman to hand us the particular article we want. there is an enormous amount of pointless, prayerless praying done in our devotional meetings; it begins with nothing and ends nowhere. the model prayers mentioned in the bible were short and right to the mark. "god be merciful to me a sinner!" "lord, save me!" cries sinking peter. "come down, ere my child die!" exclaims the heart-stricken nobleman. old rowland hill used to say, "i like short, ejaculatory prayer; it reaches heaven before the devil can get a shot at it." . in the next place, the prayer that has power with god must be a _prepaid_ prayer. if we expect a letter to reach its destination we put a stamp on it; otherwise it goes to the dead-letter office. there is what may be called a dead-prayer office, and thousands of well-worded petitions get buried up there. all of god's promises have their conditions; we must comply with those conditions, or we cannot expect the blessings coupled with the promises. no farmer is such an idiot as to look for a crop of wheat unless he has ploughed and sowed his fields. in prayer, we must first be sure that we are doing our part if we expect god to do his part. there is a legitimate sense in which every christian should do his utmost for the answering of his own prayers. when a certain venerable minister was called on to pray in a missionary convention he first fumbled in his pocket, and when he had tossed the coin into the plate he said, "i cannot pray until i have given something." he prepaid his prayer. for the churches in these days to pray, "thy kingdom come," and then spend more money on jewellery and cigars than in the enterprise of foreign missions, looks almost like a solemn farce. god has no blessings for stingy pockets. when i hear requests for prayer for the conversion of a son or daughter, i say to myself, how much is that parent doing to win that child for christ? the godly wife who makes her daily life attractive to her husband has a right to ask god for the conversion of that husband; she is co-operating with the holy spirit, and prepaying her heart's request. god never defaults; but he requires that we prove our faith by our works, and that we never ask for a blessing that we are not ready to labour for, and to make any sacrifice to secure the blessing which our souls desire. . another essential of the prayer that has power with god is that it be the prayer of faith, and be offered in the name of jesus christ. "whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will i do, that the father may be glorified in the son." the chief "wrestling" that we are to do is not with any reluctance on god's part; it is with the obstacles which sin and unbelief put in our pathway. what god orders we must submit to uncomplainingly; but we must never submit to what god can better. never submit to be blocked in any pious purpose or holy undertaking if, with god's help, you can roll the blocks out of your pathway. the faith that works while it prays commonly conquers; for such faith creates such a condition of things that our heavenly father can wisely hear and help us. oh, what a magnificent epic the triumphs of striving, toiling, victorious faith make! the firmament of bible story blazes with answers to prayer, from the days when elijah unlocked the heavens on to the days when the petitions in the house of john mark unlocked the dungeon, and brought liberated peter into their presence. the whole field of providential history is covered with answered prayers as thickly as bright-eyed daisies cover our western prairies. find thy happiness in pleasing god, and sooner or later he will surely grant thee the desires of thy heart. iii by the rev. john watson, m.a., d.d. ("ian maclaren") during the course of my ministry, and especially of recent years, i have been moved to certain actions for which there seemed no reason, and which i only performed under the influence of a sudden impulse. as often as i yielded to this inward guidance, and before the issue was determined, my mind had a sense of relief and satisfaction, and in all distinct and important cases my course was in the end most fully justified. with the afterlook one is most thankful that on certain occasions he was not disobedient to the touch of the unseen, and only bitterly regrets that on other occasions he was callous and wilful or was overcome by shame and timidity. what seem just and temperate inferences from such experiences will be indicated after they have been described, and it only remains for me to assure my readers that they are selected from carefully treasured memories, and will be given in as full and accurate detail as may be possible in circumstances which involve other people and one's own private life. it was my privilege, before i came to sefton park church, to serve as colleague with a venerable minister to whom i was sincerely attached and who showed me much kindness. we both felt the separation keenly and kept up a constant correspondence, while this good and affectionate man followed my work with spiritual interest and constant prayer. when news came one day that he was dangerously ill it was natural that his friend should be gravely concerned, and as the days of anxiety grew, that the matter should take firm hold of the mind. it was a great relief to learn, towards the end of a week, that the sickness had abated, and when, on sunday morning, a letter came with strong and final assurance of recovery the strain was quite relaxed, and i did my duty at morning service with a light heart. during the afternoon my satisfaction began to fail, and i grew uneasy till, by evening service, the letter of the morning counted for nothing. after returning home my mind was torn with anxiety and became most miserable, fearing that this good man was still in danger and, it might be, near unto death. gradually the conviction deepened and took hold of me that he was dying and that i would never see him again, till at last it was laid on me that if i hoped to receive his blessing i must make haste, and by-and-by that i had better go at once. it did not seem as if i had now any choice, and i certainly had no longer any doubt; so, having written to break two engagements for monday, i left at midnight for glasgow. as i whirled through the darkness it certainly did occur to me that i had done an unusual thing, for here was a fairly busy man leaving his work and going a long night's journey to visit a sick friend, of whose well-being he had been assured on good authority. by every evidence which could tell on another person he was acting foolishly, and yet he was obeying an almost irresistible impulse. the day broke as we climbed the ascent beyond moffat, and i was now only concerned lest time should be lost on the way. on arrival i drove rapidly to the well-known house, and was in no way astonished that the servant who opened the door should be weeping bitterly, for the fact that word had come from that very house that all was going well did not now weigh one grain against my own inward knowledge. "he had a relapse yesterday afternoon, and he is ... dying now." no one in the room seemed surprised that i should have come, although they had not sent for me, and i held my reverend father's hand till he fell asleep in about twenty minutes. he was beyond speech when i came, but, as we believed, recognised me and was content. my night's journey was a pious act, for which i thanked god, and my absolute conviction is that i was guided to its performance by spiritual influence. some years ago i was at work one forenoon in my study, and very busy, when my mind became distracted and i could not think out my sermon. it was as if a side stream had rushed into a river, confusing and discolouring the water; and at last, when the confusion was over and the water was clear, i was conscious of a new subject. some short time before, a brother minister, whom i knew well and greatly respected, had suffered from dissension in his congregation and had received our sincere sympathy. he had not, however, been in my mind that day, but now i found myself unable to think of anything else. my imagination began to work in the case till i seemed, in the midst of the circumstances, as if i were the sufferer. very soon a suggestion arose and grew into a commandment, that i should offer to take a day's duty for my brother. at this point i pulled myself together and resisted what seemed a vagrant notion. "was such a thing ever heard of,--that for no reason save a vague sympathy one should leave one's own pulpit and undertake the work of another, who had not asked him and might not want him?" so i turned to my manuscript to complete a broken sentence, but could only write "dear a. b." nothing remained but to submit to this mysterious dictation and compose a letter as best one could, till the question of date arose. there i paused and waited, when an exact day came up before my mind, and so i concluded the letter. it was, however, too absurd to send; and so, having rid myself of this irrelevancy, i threw the letter into the fire and set to work again; but all day i was haunted by the idea that my brother needed my help. in the evening a letter came from him, written that very forenoon, explaining that it would be a great service to him and his people if i could preach some sunday soon in his church, and that, owing to certain circumstances, the service would be doubled if i could come on such and such a day; and it was my date! my course was perfectly plain, and i at once accepted his invitation under a distinct sense of a special call, and my only regret was that i had not posted my first letter. one afternoon, to take my third instance, i made up my list of sick visits and started to overtake them. after completing the first, and while going along a main road, i felt a strong impulse to turn down a side street and call on a family living in it. the impulse grew so urgent that it could not be resisted, and i rang the bell, considering on the doorstep what reason i should give for an unexpected call. when the door opened it turned out that strangers now occupied the house, and that my family had gone to another address, which was in the same street but could not be given. this was enough, it might appear, to turn me from aimless visiting, but still the pressure continued as if a hand were drawing me, and i set out to discover their new house, till i had disturbed four families with vain inquiries. then the remembrance of my unmade and imperative calls came upon me, and i abandoned my fruitless quest with some sense of shame. had a busy clergyman not enough to do without such a wild-goose chase?--and one grudged the time one had lost. next morning the head of that household i had yesterday sought in vain came into my study with such evident sorrow on his face that one hastened to meet him with anxious inquiries. "yes, we are in great trouble; yesterday our little one (a young baby) took very ill and died in the afternoon. my wife was utterly overcome by the shock and we would have sent for you at the time but had no messenger. i wish you had been there--if you had only known!" "and the time?" "about half-past three." so i had known, but had been too impatient. many other cases have occurred when it has been laid on me to call at a certain house, where there seemed so little reason that i used to invent excuses, and where i found some one especially needing advice or comfort; or i called and had not courage to lead up to the matter, so that the call was of no avail, and afterwards some one has asked whether i knew, for she had waited for a word. nor do i remember any case where, being inwardly moved to go after this fashion, it appeared in the end that i had been befooled. and so, having stated these facts out of many, i offer three inferences. ( ) that people may live in an atmosphere of sympathy which will be a communicating medium. when some one appears to read another's thoughts, as we have all seen done at public exhibitions, it was evidently by physical signs, and it served no good purpose. it was a mechanical gift and was used for an amusement. _this_ is knowledge of another kind, whose conditions are spiritual and whose ends are ethical. between you and the person there must be some common feeling; it rises to a height in the hour of trouble; and its call is for help. the correspondence here is between heart and heart, and the medium through which the message passes is love. ( ) that this love is but another name for christ, who is the head of the body; and here one falls back on st. paul's profound and illuminating illustration. it is christ who unites the whole race, and especially all christian folk, by his incarnation. into him are gathered all the fears, sorrows, pains, troubles of each member, so that he feels with all, and from him flows the same feeling to other members of the body. he is the common spring of sensitiveness and sympathy, who connects each man with his neighbour and makes of thousands a living organic spiritual unity. ( ) that in proportion as one abides in christ he will be in touch with his brethren. if it seem to one marvellous and almost incredible that any person should be affected by another's sorrow whom he does not at the moment see, is it not marvellous, although quite credible, that we are so often indifferent to sorrow which we do see? is it not the case that one of a delicate soul will detect secret trouble in the failure of a smile, in a sub-tone of voice, in a fleeting shadow on the face? "how did he know?" we duller people say. "by his fellowship with christ" is the only answer. "why did we not know?" on account of our hardness and selfishness. if one live self-centred--ever concerned about his own affairs, there is no callousness to which he may not yet descend; if one live the selfless life, there is no mysterious secret of sympathy which may not be his. wherefore if any one desire to live in nervous touch with his fellows, so that their sorrows be his own and he be their quick helper, if he desire to share with christ the world burden, let him open his heart to the spirit of the lord. in proportion as we live for ourselves are we separated from our families, our friends, our neighbours; in proportion as we enter into the life of the cross we are one with them all, being one with christ, who is one with god. iv by the rev. w. knox little, m. a. canon of worcester prayer is a comprehensive word and includes, in fact, all communion between the soul and god. it is, however, commonly used to mean the asking for benefits from god. christians believe that prayer _is_ a power, that it does act in the fulfilment of god's purposes, and that the results of prayer are real results, not only in the spiritual, but also in the physical world. this is no mere matter of opinion, it is part of the christian faith. for better, for worse, however difficult the doctrine may appear, the church is committed to it. as in the case of other difficult doctrines, such as the resurrection of the body for instance, she, so to speak, "stakes her reputation" on loyalty to this truth. the power of prayer is, of course, a mystery, _i.e._, a truth, but a truth partly concealed, partly plain. to deal with it, therefore, in a mathematical temper rather than a moral temper is absurd if not wrong. mathematical demonstration cannot be given for moral truth, and is in fact out of court. the bent of mind formed by constant scientific research--good as it is in its own province--sometimes unfits men for moral and theological research. in this way the "difficulties of prayer" are often exaggerated. ( ) it is said god knows already; why tell him? the same objection would apply to many a request on earth. ( ) it is said god fore-sees; why try to influence what he knows is sure to be? this objection applies to all our actions; to follow out this we should not only not pray, but also never do anything. we are in face of a mystery. a little humility and obedience to revelation helps us out. it has been truly said that when a practical and a speculative truth are in apparent collision, we must remember our ignorance of a good many things, and act with the knowledge which is given us, on the practical truth. prayer, we may remember, is not to change the holy counsels of the eternal, but to accomplish those ends for which it is an appointed instrument. anyhow, this is certain, the abundant promises to faithful and persevering prayer are kept, and--where god sees it to be good for us--they are kept to the letter. the following are examples which come within the knowledge of the writer of this paper. a family, consisting of a number of children, had been brought up by parents who had very "free" ideas as to the divine revelation and the teaching of the church. the children, varying in age from seven or eight, to one or two and twenty years, had, one way or another, been aroused to the teaching of scripture and desired to be baptised. the father point-blank refused to permit it. the older members of the family consulted a clergyman. he felt strongly the force of the fifth commandment and advised them not to act in haste, to realise that difficulties do frequently arise from conflicting duties, and above all to pray. the clergyman asked a number of devout christians to make the matter a subject of prayer. they did. in about three weeks the father called upon this very clergyman and asked him to baptise his children. the clergyman expressed his astonishment, believing that he was opposed to it. the father answered that that was true, but he had changed his mind. he could not say precisely why, but he thought his children ought to be baptised. they were; and he, by his own wish, was present and most devout at the administration of the sacrament of baptism. a few years ago, a clergyman in london had been invited to visit a friend for one night in the country in order to meet an old friend whom he had not seen for long. it was bitter winter weather and he decided not to go. walking his parish in the afternoon, he believed that a voice three times urged him to go. he hurriedly changed his arrangements and went. the snow was tremendously deep, and the house of his friend, some miles from the railway station, was reached with difficulty. in the course of the night the clergyman was roused from sleep by the butler, who begged him to go and visit a groom in the service of the family, who was ill and "like to die." crossing a field path with difficulty, as the snow was very deep, they reached the poor man's house. he had been in agony of mind and longed to see a clergyman. when it was found impossible to fetch the nearest clergyman, owing to the impassable state of the roads, he had prayed earnestly that one might be sent to him. the poor fellow died in the clergyman's arms in the early morning, much comforted and in great peace. a strangely similar case happened more recently. an american gentleman travelling in europe was taken suddenly and seriously ill in one of our northern towns. the day before this happened, a clergyman, who was at a distance in the country, was seized with a sudden and unaccountable desire to visit this very town. he had no idea why, but prayed for guidance in the matter, and finally felt convinced that he must go. having stayed the night there he was about to return home, rather inclined to think himself a very foolish person, when a waiter in the hotel brought him an american lady's card and said that the lady wished to see him. he was the only english clergyman of whom she and her husband had any knowledge. they had happened to hear him preach in america. she had no idea where he lived, but when her husband was taken ill she and her daughter had prayed that _he_ might be sent to them. on inquiry, strange to say, he was found to be in the hotel, and was able to render some assistance to the poor sufferer, who died in a few hours, and to his surviving and mourning relatives. a still more striking instance, perhaps, is as follows: some years ago in london a clergyman had succeeded, with the help of some friends, in opening a "home" in the suburbs to meet some special mission needs. it was necessary to support it by charity. for some time all went well. the home at last, however, became even more necessary and more filled with inmates, whilst subscriptions did not increase but rather slackened. the lady in charge wrote to the clergyman as to her needs, and especially drew his attention to the fact that £ was required immediately to meet the pressing demand of a tradesman. the clergyman himself was excessively poor, and he knew not to whom to turn in the emergency. he at once went and spent an hour in prayer. he then left his house and walked slowly along the streets thinking with himself how he should act. passing up regent street, a carriage drew up in front of madame �lise's shop, just as he was passing. out of the carriage stepped a handsomely dressed lady. "mr. so-and-so, i think," she said when she saw him. "yes, madam," he answered, raising his hat. she drew an envelope from her pocket and handed it to him, saying: "you have many calls upon your charity, you will know what to do with that." the envelope contained a bank of england note for £ . the whole thing happened in a much shorter time than it can be related; he passed on up the street, she passed into the shop. who she was he did not know, and never since has he learnt. the threatening creditor was paid. the "home" received further help and did its work well. another example is of a different kind. a person of real earnestness in religious questions, and one who gave time and strength for advancing the kingdom of god, some years ago became restless and unsatisfied in spiritual matters, failing to enjoy peaceful communion with god, and generally upset and uneasy. the advice of a clergyman was asked, and after many conversations on the subject, he urged steady earnest prayer for light, and agreed himself to make the matter a subject of prayer. within a fortnight, after an earnest midday prayer, it was declared by this troubled soul that it had been clearly borne in upon the mind that the sacrament of baptism had never been received. enquiry was made, and after much careful investigation it was found that, while every other member of a large family had been baptised, in this case the sacrament had been neglected owing to the death of the mother and the child being committed to the care of a somewhat prejudiced relative. the person in question was forthwith baptised, and immediately there was peace and calmness of mind and a sense of quiet communion with god. instances of this kind might be multiplied, but these are, perhaps, sufficient. "in everything," says the apostle, "by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving (the eucharist) let your requests be made known unto god." "cast all your care upon him, for he careth for you." the power of the "prayer of faith" is astonishing in its efficacy, if souls will only put forth that power. i am able to guarantee, from personal knowledge, the truth and accuracy of the above instances. v by mr. william quarrier of glasgow for twenty-five years it has been with me a continual answer to prayer. the first seven of my service were spent in caring for the rough boys of the streets of glasgow, but having made a vow, when i was very young, that if god prospered me i should build houses for orphans, i was not satisfied with that work among the bigger boys. being in business, however, and having a family to maintain, the question of whether i could do more was a difficult one. i was giving eight hours a day to the work, and in the shoe-black brigade, the parcels brigade, and the newspaper brigade had probably about three hundred boys to care for. while i considered what could be done, a lady from london--miss macpherson--called, and in the course of our talk about the little ones, she urged that i should attempt something more than i was doing. for three months i prayed to god for guidance, and in the end resolved that if he sent me £ , i should embark in the greater work. nobody knew of that resolution; it was a matter between god and myself. if god wanted me to do more work than i was doing, i felt that he would send me the £ , not in portions, but in a solid sum. i was then before the public, and i wrote a letter to the newspapers pleading that something more should be done for street children, pointing out that the poorhouse and the reformatory were not the best means of helping child-life, and urging that something on the home or family system was desirable. there was a strong conviction that god would answer the prayer, and, the terms of the prayer being explicit, i believed the answer would be as unmistakable. after waiting thirteen days the answer came. amongst my other letters was one from a scotch friend in london, to the effect that the writer would, to the extent of £ , provide me with money to buy or rent a house for orphan children. when i received that call i felt that my family interests and my business interests should be second, and that god's work among the children should be first. to a business man, it was a call to surrender what you would call business tact. i had to rise up there and then, and proclaim in the midst of the commercial city of glasgow, that from that moment i was to live by faith, and depend on god for money, wisdom and strength. from that time forward i would ask no man for money, but trust god for everything. that £ was the first direct answer to prayer for money. he gave me the utmost of my asking, and i felt that i would need to give him the utmost of the power i pledged. we rented a common workshop in renfrew lane--it was very difficult to get a suitable place--to lodge the children in, and that little place was the first national home for orphans in scotland, and from it has sprung what the visitor may see to-day amongst the renfrewshire hills. one day, i remember, two boys came in, and we had everything to clothe them with except a jacket for one of them. the matron, a very godly woman, said, "we must just pray that god will send what is needed," and we prayed that he would. that night a large parcel of clothing came from dumbarton, and in it was a jacket that fitted the boy as if it had been made for him. that was a small thing, of course, but if you don't see god in the gift of a pair of stockings you won't see him in a gift of £ , . we had thirty children in that home, and we kept praying that the lord would open a place for us somewhere in the country. a friend called on me and offered to sub-let cessnock house, with three acres of ground about it. cessnock dock has now absorbed the place, and as it was just the very spot we wanted, we accepted. we had room for a hundred boys, and with the help of god we prospered. we had resolved formerly that we would send children to canada, but it took £ per head to send them, and we were determined not to get into debt. we had only a few pounds in hand when we took the house in govan road, and it took £ to alter it. but every night we prayed that the lord would send money to pay for the alterations. sums varying from s. to £ came in, but when the bills came to be paid we were short £ . a friend not far from one of my places of business sent for me, and when i called, he said, "how are you getting on at cessnock?" i said we were getting on nicely, and that we had got £ towards the alterations. he gave me £ , to my astonishment, for i knew that he could not afford so much, but he said a relative who died in england had left him a fortune, and the money was to help me in the work god had given me to do. in that answer you see how god works mysteriously to accomplish his purpose and help those who put their trust in him. god gives us great help in dealing with the wayward, wilful boys of the home. they are generally lads who have known no control; but we are able, with god's blessing on our efforts, to get them to do almost anything that is wanted, without strap or confinement or threat. to hear boys who used to curse and swear praying to god, and to see them helping other boys in the home, is to me the most encouraging feature of the work god has given me to do. whilst i sought to clothe and educate them, i left god to deal with them in their spirits; and to-day the result of the spiritual work amongst the boys and girls of glasgow exceeds anything i ever expected. i still thought of the emigration scheme, and in we had sixty children that were able to go to canada. of course it meant £ to send them, and we had the necessary money except £ in the end of june. we prayed on that god would send the balance before the day of sailing, nd july. a friend called at one of my places of business to see me, and subsequently i had an interview with him. he gave me £ , and said it was from one who did not wish the name mentioned. "what shall i put it to?" i asked. "anything you like," he said. "we are short of £ for the emigration of our first band of children to canada, and if you like i shall put it to that." "do so," he said; and as the man left i saw god's hand in the gift that had been made. when i went home that night i found amongst my letters one in which was enclosed £ "to take a child to canada," and the post on the following morning brought two five-pound notes from other friends, making up exactly at the moment it was needed the sum i had asked god to give. in addition to the homes, we carried on mission work amongst the lapsed masses, and, as in the case of the homes, we were firmly resolved to do everything by prayer and supplication. i rented an old church at the head of the little dovehill, just where the board school stands now, as a hall, but we did not have the whole of it. at the level of the gallery another floor had been introduced, and while we occupied the upper flat, a soap manufacturer occupied the lower. in a way it was a trial of faith to go up those stairs past the soap work into our hall. we wanted to open the place free of debt, and the money for the alterations came in gradually. i remember putting it to the lord to send a suitable evangelist if he wished the work to go on. at that time--twenty-four years ago--we heard a lot of joshua poole and his wife, who were having great blessing in london, and i thought that they were just the people to reach the working classes. but as i had convictions about women preaching,--which, by the way, i have not now,--i asked the lord to send £ to cover the expense for a month if it were his will that these friends should come to glasgow and preach nightly during that period. i left it to god to decide whether we should ask these friends or not, and i had the assurance--the assurance of faith,--that the money would come. when i went home that night i found that a friend had called at one of my places of business and left fifty one-pound notes without knowing my mind and without knowing i needed it. after that i felt that god was going to work a great work amongst the lapsed masses of glasgow, and he did so. for six months we rented the scotia music hall on sabbath evenings, and instead of a month the evangelists were six in the city conducting services every night. when they left, ten thousand people gathered on the green to bid them farewell. hundreds were led to the saviour. after a number of years' work in glasgow with the girls' home, in govan with the boys' home, and with the mission premises, the need of a farm became great. i prayed for money to purchase a farm of about fifty acres, three miles or so from glasgow. it was to have a burn running through it, good drainage, and everything necessary. i was anxious to get this burn for the children to paddle in and fish in; but i feel now that at the time i was rebellious against god in fixing the site so near glasgow. we visited a dozen places, but the cost was so great that i was fairly beaten. god had shut up every door. a friend met me on the street, and asked if i had seen the farm in kilmalcolm parish that was to be sold. i replied that i had not, and that i considered the place too far away. in talking over the matter, he persuaded me to go and see the farm, and when i did go, and, standing where our big central building is now, saw that it had everything i prayed for,--perfect drainage, and not only the burn, but a river and a large flat field for a recreation ground,--i said in my heart to the lord: "this will do." ever since i have blessed the lord for that; my way was not god's way, and so he shut us in amongst these renfrewshire hills, away from the ways of men. after paying £ , for the farm, we had about £ , left, and in we began to build a church and school, to cost £ , . i told the contractor that we should stop if the money did not come in; but it kept coming in, and the work went on. in i had resolved to go to canada with the party of children going out that year, and i saw clearly that i would need to stop the contractors if i got no more money in the interval, for i was still £ short. yet i believed the lord would send the money before i left in the latter end of may, though the time i write of was as far on as the middle of the month. i kept praying, and the assurance was strong that the money would come. just three days before the date on which i was to sail, a friend came to me, and said it had been laid upon his heart to build one of the cottages at bridge-of-weir, but the lord, he thought, would accept the money for the central building just as much as though it were put into houses, and he handed me £ . all the money belonging to the homes and all my own was in the city of glasgow bank when it failed, and hundreds of the givers were involved as well. on my way up from the homes on the day of the disaster, a gentleman met me, and told me the sad news. at the moment i realised what the news meant for me--my own personal loss and the needs of the homes--for that was in september, and our financial year closed in october. with all our money locked up, to clear the year without debt would be difficult, but then the promise of god came: "although the fig-tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls; yet i will rejoice in the lord; i will joy in the god of my salvation." there and then i prayed that god would help me through, and that during the course of the following year, which i saw would be one of financial distress all over scotland, he would double the gifts to us. the result was that we were able to clear our financial accounts with ease at the end of october, and in the year following, when every church in scotland, and every philanthropic work had less money than they needed, the orphan homes had double what they required. in that god honoured my trust. our first church at bridge-of-weir only held four hundred, and by-and-by it was too small for us. i prayed that the lord would give us a new church to hold one thousand people, and to cost something like £ . we felt that we would get that money, and that we would get it in one sum because we had asked god to lay it on the heart of somebody to build the church. after a year of waiting and praying, a friend came to me in the street one day, and said, "i'm going to build you that church you want. do you know what it will cost?" "yes," i replied. "£ " "well," said my friend, "you shall get the money when you want it." it was a new song of praise to god that day, i can tell you, and we went on to build our church. now, even it we find too small, and we are praying to the lord for £ to enlarge the building, and enable us to accommodate five hundred more worshippers. i thought that, having got the church, we might, as we were building a tower to hold the tank for our water supply, also get a clock and chimes to enliven the village. so we prayed that the lord would send money for that purpose. i thought that about £ or £ would be sufficient. while the building was going on, we prayed for the money, and i was certain it would come. the architect was hurrying me and pointing out that if the clock and bells were really to go into the tower, the work must be done at once. i told him there was no fear that the money would not come. if the money had not come, and the tower was completed, the placing of the clock and bells at a later period would have mean practically taking down and rebuilding, because with our water tank in position, the work would have been impossible. my architect kept bothering me, but i was sure the money would come, and one night i went home and found a cheque for £ --£ to build a house, and £ for the clock and bells. the clock and bells cost £ , and the lady who sent the money paid the additional £ . a village like our homes, with of a population, needed a good water supply for sanitary purposes. for a very long time we depended on a well, and stored the water in tanks, but frequently the supply fell short, and we felt that if we could get the proprietors in the upper district--none of the surrounding proprietors, by the way, had ever taken much interest in the work of the homes--to give us the privilege of bringing water into the grounds, we should be able to do much to improve that state of matters. sir michael shaw stewart gave us the right to use our own burn higher up for the purpose, and gave us a piece of ground at a nominal rent of s. a year, for a reservoir and filter, but the money to carry out the work was not in hand, and we prayed to the lord to send us from £ to £ , which we anticipated would be the cost of the undertaking. some time later a lady called at james morrison street (glasgow), and left word that an old woman who lived in main street, gorbals, wished to see me. on the following day i called at the address given, and found the person who had sent for me. she was an old woman living in a single apartment, and she was very ill and weak. "are you mr. quarrier?" she asked. i said i was. "ye were once puir yersel'," she went on; "i was once a puir girl with naebody to care for me, and was in service when i was eleven years old. i have been thankful for a' the kindness that has been shown me in my life." she went to a chest of drawers in the corner of the apartment, and after a little came and gave me two deposit receipts on the savings bank, each for £ and on neither of which any interest had been drawn for twenty years. when i cashed them i received £ . i said "janet"--janet stewart was her name--"are you not giving me too much?" "na, na, i've plenty mair, an' ye'll get it a' when i dee." we did the best we could for janet, but she did not live much longer. within a week i received a telegram that janet was dead, and she had died, i was told, singing "just as i am without one plea." in her will she left several sums to neighbours who had been kind to her in life, and to our homes was bequeathed the balance. altogether the orphans' share was £ . the money defrayed the cost of our water scheme, and i always think how appropriate the gift was, for nearly all her life janet had been a washerwoman and had earned her bread over the wash-tub. the direct answers to prayers of which i could tell you would fill a volume, and what i have mentioned are only those fixed in my memory. i have always asked god for a definite gift for a definite purpose, and god has always given it to me. the value of the buildings at bridge-of-weir is £ , , and since we started, the cost of their "upkeep" has been £ , . and we are still building as busily as in the beginning. vi by mr. leonard k. shaw of manchester the work for homeless children in manchester was cradled in prayer. every step in preparation was laid before god. but what i want specially to insist upon is the real connection there is between prayer and work. from the first my practice has been to lay our wants before god in prayer, and at the same time to use every means within our reach to obtain what we desired. i well remember in the early days of the work how anxiously we discussed whether it was to be conducted on the "faith" principle, as it is called, or on the "work" principle. looking back on the way by which we have come, it seems to me now that faith and work necessarily go together. earnest believing prayer is not less earnest and believing because you use the means god has put within your reach. your dependence upon god is just the same. you send out an appeal, but it is god who disposes the hearts of the people to subscribe. so i say the connection between praying and working, though not always seen, is very real. day by day the special needs of the work are laid before god, and day by day they are supplied. of direct answers to prayer i have had many sweet and encouraging assurances, particularly in connection with our orphan homes. in the first five years of the work, we only took in boys between the ages of ten and sixteen. at that time of life, boys who have been brought up on the street are not easy to manage, and a friend to whom i was telling some of our difficulties, suggested that we should take the boys in younger. to do so meant a new departure, and on going into the matter i found that a sum of about £ would be needed to start such an orphan home as was suggested. i said to my wife, "let us pray about this; if it is god's will that we should enter upon this new branch of work, he will send the money." we resolved that should be the test; if the money came we would start the home, otherwise we would not. our annual meeting came round soon after, and in the report i made an appeal on behalf of the new scheme. the report was sent out with much prayer, but no individual person was asked to contribute. in a few days i received a letter from a gentleman residing in southport, enclosing a cheque for £ . the house for the first of our orphan homes was bought for £ , and the balance of the cheque enabled us to furnish it. at the end of the following year, the home was full of fatherless and motherless little ones, and others were seeking admission for whom there was no room. i sent out a second appeal, asking god to put it into the heart of someone to provide a second home. a few weeks afterwards a lady well known in manchester paid us a visit at the home and two days later i received from her a cheque for £ . in this way we got our second home. another year and this second home was also full. again i prayed god to dispose the heart of some one to help us, and i sent out another appeal. one day, perhaps two or three weeks later, a gentleman stopped me in the street and said he had been wanting to see me for some days, as he had a cheque for £ waiting for me at his office. at the moment the orphan home was not in my mind, and i asked what the cheque was for. why, he said, i understand your two orphan homes are full and that you want another. and so we got our third home. another year and it too was full. again after earnest prayer i received a cheque for £ from another manchester gentleman, who in some way had come to know that a fourth home was needed. in these four cases you have, i think, remarkable instances of direct answer to prayer. so, at any rate, i must always regard them. i need not say how encouraged we were, year after year, to go on with the work, though each additional home meant a large increase in our annual expenditure. the money with which the fifth orphanage house was bought was not given in one sum nor specially for the purpose, and the circumstances would not warrant me in saying that it came in direct answer to prayer. when a sixth home became necessary an appeal was made to the schoolgirls of lancashire and cheshire, and they found the £ for the purchase money. this house is called "the school girls' home." the inscription on the memorial stone, "his children shall have a place of refuge," was suggested by the late bishop of manchester. in smaller, but perhaps not less important matters, we have had unmistakable proofs that god answers prayer. one case which occurred in the early days of the work greatly impressed me. a letter came one morning from stalybridge asking us to take in five little children who had been left destitute and without a friend in the world. i went over to make inquiries, and found the children in the same room with the dead body of their mother, which had little more to cover it than an old sack. our means at that time were very small, and i thought we could hardly venture to take in all the children. the clergyman of the parish pleaded with me to take at least two or three. i asked what was to become of the others, and the answer was that there was nothing for them but the workhouse. what to do i did not know. i made it a matter of prayer, but all that night it lay upon my heart a great burden. next morning i came downstairs still wondering what to do. amongst the letters on my table was one from a gentleman at bowdon, enclosing, unasked, a cheque for £ . in those days £ was an exceptionally large sum for us to receive, and i took the letter as a direct word from god that we should accept the care of the children. we did so, and i am glad to say every one of them turned out well. but direct answers to prayer are not confined to mere gifts of money. over and over again during these twenty-seven years of rescue work i have put individual cases before god and asked him to deal with them, and it is just wonderful how he has subdued stubborn wills and changed hearts and lives. years ago there came to the refuges the son of a man known to the manchester police as "mike the devil." tom was as rough a customer as ever i saw, and for a time we had some trouble with him. but a great change came over him, and i have myself no doubt it was the result of personal pleading with god on his behalf. tom is now an ordained minister of the gospel in america. there is no end to the cases i could give of that kind. they all point to the same conclusion, that god does answer definite prayer. and to-day, after twenty-seven years of work, i praise him for it. vii by the rev. r. f. horton, m.a., d.d. it has sometimes seemed to me that god does not intend the faith in prayer to rest upon an induction of instances. the answers, however explicit, are not of the kind to bear down an aggressive criticism. your christian lives a life which is an unbroken chain of prayers offered and prayers answered; from his inward view the demonstration is overwhelming. but do you ask for the evidences, and do you propose to begin to pray if the facts are convincing, and to refuse the practice if they are not? then you may find the evidences evanescent as an evening cloud, and the facts all susceptible of a simple rationalistic explanation. "prayer," says an old jewish mystic, "is the moment when heaven and earth kiss each other." it is futile as well as indelicate to disturb that rapturous meeting; and nothing can be brought away from such an intrusion, nothing of any value except the resolve to make trial for oneself of the "mystic sweet communion." i confess, therefore, that i read examples of answers to prayer without any great interest, and refer to those i have experienced myself with the utmost diffidence. nay, i say frankly beforehand, "if you are concerned to disprove my statement, and to show that what i take for the hand of god is merely the cold operation of natural law, i shall only smile. my own conviction will be unchanged. i do not make that great distinction between the hand of god and natural law, and i have no wish to induce you to pray by an accumulation of facts--to commend to you the mighty secret by showing that it would be profitable to you, a kind of aladdin's lamp for fulfilling wayward desires. natural law, the hand of god! yes! i unquestioningly admit that the answers to prayer come generally along lines which we recognise as natural law, and would perhaps always be found along those lines if our knowledge of natural law were complete. prayer is to me the quick and instant recognition that all law is god's will, and all nature is in god's hand, and that all our welfare lies in linking ourselves with his will and placing ourselves in his hand through all the operations of the world and life and time." yet i will mention a few "answers to prayer," striking enough to me. one sunday morning a message came to me before the service from an agonised mother: "pray for my child: the doctor has been and gives no hope." we prayed, the church prayed, with the mother's agony, and with the faith in a present christ, mighty to save. next day, i learned that the doctor who had given the message of despair in the morning had returned, after the service, and said at once, "a remarkable change has taken place." the child recovered and still lives. on another occasion, i was summoned from my study to see a girl who was dying of acute peritonitis. i hurried away to the chamber of death. the doctor said that he could do nothing more. the mother stood there weeping. the girl had passed beyond the point of recognition. but as i entered the room, a conviction seized me that the sentence of death had not gone out against her. i proposed that we should kneel down and pray. i asked definitely that she should be restored. i left the home, and learned afterwards that she began to amend almost, at once, and entirely recovered; she is now quite strong and well, and doing her share of service for our lord. and on yet another occasion i was hastily called from my study to see an elderly man, who had always been delicate since i knew him; now he was prostrated with bronchitis, and the doctor did not think that he could live. it chanced that i had just been studying the passage which contains the prayer of hezekiah and the promise made to him of fourteen additional years of life. i went to the sick man and told him that i had just been reading this, and asked if it might not be a ground for definite prayer. he assented, and we entreated our god for his mercy in the matter. the man was restored and is living still. these are only typical instances of what i have frequently seen. many times, no doubt, i have prayed for the recovery of the sick and the prayer has not been answered. and you, dear and skeptical reader, may say if you will that this is proof positive that the instances of answered prayers are mere coincidences. you may say it and, if you will, prove it, but you will not in the least alter my quiet conviction; for the answers were given to _me_. i do not know that even the subjects of these recoveries recognise the agency which was at work. to me all this is immaterial. the subjective evidence is all that was designed, and that is sufficient, and to the writer conclusive. with reference to money for christian work, i have laboured to induce my own church to adopt the simple view that we should ask not men, but in the first instance god, the owner of it all, for what we want. i am thankful to say that some of them now believe this, and bring our needs to him very simply and trustfully. i could name many instances of the following kind: there is a threatened deficit in the funds of the mission, or an extension is needed and we have not the money. the sound of misgiving is heard; we have not the givers; the givers have given all they can. "why not trust god?" i have urged. "why not pray openly and unitedly--and believe?" the black cloud of debt has been dissipated, or the necessary extension has been made. oddly enough, some people have said to me, "ah, yours is a rich church," as if to imply one can very safely ask god for money when one has the people at hand who can give it. but surely this is a question of degree. my church is not rich enough to give one-tenth of what it gives, _if we did not first ask god for it_. and there are churches which could give ten times what they do give, if only the plan were adopted of first asking god instead of going to the few wealthy people and trusting to them. but this is a matter of statistics and a little wearisome. i confess i am unsatisfied with answers to prayer when the prayer is only for these carnal and visible things, which are often, in boundless love and pity, _withheld_. the constant and proper things to pray for are precisely those the advent of which cannot be observed or tabulated; that the kingdom may come, that they who have sinned, not unto death, may be forgiven, that the eyes of christian men may be enlightened, and their hearts expanded to the measure of the love of christ. such prayers are answered, but the answers are not unveiled. i remember a strange instance of this. i was staying with a gentleman in a great town, where the town council, of which he was a member, had just decided to close a music-hall which was exercising a pernicious influence. the decision was most unexpected, because a strong party in the council were directly interested in the hall. but to my friend's amazement the men who had threatened opposition came in and quietly voted for withdrawing the licence. next day we were speaking about modern miracles; he, the best of men, expressed the opinion that miracles were confined to bible times. his wife then happened to mention how, on the day of that council meeting, she and some other good women of the city had met and continued in prayer that the licence might be withdrawn. i ventured to ask my friend whether this was not the explanation of what he had confessed to be an amazing change of front on the part of the opposition. and, strange to say, it had not occurred to him--though an avowed believer in prayer--to connect the praying women and that beneficent vote. the truth is, all the threads of good which run across our chequered society, all the impulses upward and onward, all the invisible growths in goodness and grace, are answered prayers. for our prayers for the kingdom are not uttered on the housetops; and the kingdom itself cometh not with observation. but if it were not too delicate a subject i could recite instances, to me the most remarkable answers to prayer in my experience, of changed character and enlarged christian life, resulting from definite intercession. it is an experiment which any loving and humble soul can easily make. take your friends, or better still the members of the church to which you belong, and set yourself systematically to pray for them. leave alone those futile and often misguided petitions for temporal blessings, or even for success in their work, and plead with your god in the terms of that prayer with which saint paul bowed his knees for the ephesians. ask that this person, or these persons, known to you, may have the enlightenment and expansion of the spirit, the quickened love and zeal, the vision of god, the profound sympathy with christ, which form the true christian life. pray and watch, and as you watch, still pray. and you will see a miracle, marvellous as the springing of the flowers in april, or the far-off regular rise and setting of the planets,--a miracle proceeding before your eyes, a plain answer to your prayer, and yet without any intervention of your voice or hand. you will see the mysterious power of god at work upon these souls for which you pray. and by the subtle movements of the spirit it is as likely as not that they will come to tell you of the divine blessings which have come to them in reply to your unknown prayers. but there are some whose eyes are not yet open to these invisible things of the spirit, which are indeed the real things. the measure of faith is not yet given them, and they do not recognise that web,--the only web which will last when the loom of the world is broken,--the web of which the warp is the will of god, and the woof the prayers of men. for these, to speak of the whole as answered prayer is as good as to say that no prayer is answered at all. if they are to recognise an answer it must be some tiny pattern, a sprig of flower, or an ammonite figure on the fabric. let me close, therefore, by recounting a very simple answer to prayer,--simple, and yet, i think i can show, significant. last summer i was in norway, and one of the party was a lady who was too delicate to attempt great mountain excursions, but found an infinite compensation in rowing along those fringed shores of the fjord, and exploring those interminable brakes, which escape the notice of the passengers on board the steamer. one day we had followed a narrow fjord, which winds into the folds of the mountains, to its head. there we had landed and pushed our way through the brush of birch and alder, lost in the mimic glades, emerging to climb miniature mountains, and fording innumerable small rivers, which rushed down from the perpetual snows. moving slowly over the ground--veritable explorers of a virgin forest--plucking the ruby bunches of wild raspberry, or the bilberries and whortleberries, delicate in bloom, we made a devious track which it was hard or impossible to retrace. suddenly my companion found that her golosh was gone. that might seem a slight loss and easily replaced; not at all. it was as vital to her as his snowshoes were to nansen on the polar drift; for it could not be replaced until we were back in bergen at the end of our tour. and to be without it meant an end of all the delightful rambles in the spongy mosses and across the lilliputian streams, which for one at least meant half the charm and the benefit of the holiday. with the utmost diligence, therefore, we searched the brake, retraced our steps, recalled each precipitous descent of heather-covered rock, and every sapling of silver birch by which we had steadied our steps. we plunged deep into all the apparently bottomless crannies, and beat the brushwood along all our course. but neither the owner's eyes, which are keen as needles, nor mine, which are not, could discover any sign of the missing shoe. with woeful countenances we had to give it up and start on our three miles' row along the fjord to the hotel. but in the afternoon the idea came to me, "and why not ask our gracious father for guidance in this trifle as well as for all the weightier things which we are constantly committing to his care? if the hairs of our head are all numbered, why not also the shoes of our feet?" i therefore asked him that we might recover this lost golosh. and then i proposed that we should row back to the place. how magnificent the precipitous mountains and the far snow-fields looked that afternoon! how insignificant our shallop, and our own imperceptible selves in that majestic amphitheatre, and how trifling the whole episode might seem to god! but the place was one where we had enjoyed many singular proofs of the divine love which shaped the mountains but has also a particular care for the emmets which nestle at their feet. and i was ashamed of myself for ever doubting the particular care of an infinite love. when we reached the end of the fjord and had lashed the boat to the shore, i sprang on the rocks and went, i know not how or why, to one spot, not far from the water, a spot which i should have said we had searched again and again in the morning, and there lay the shoe before my eyes, obvious, as if it had fallen from heaven! i think i hear the cold laugh of prayerless men: "and that is the kind of thing on which you rest your belief in prayer; a happy accident. well, if you are superstitious enough to attach any importance to that, you would swallow anything!" and with a smile, not, i trust, scornful or impatient, but full of quiet joy, i would reply: "yes, if you will, that is the kind of thing; a trifle rising to the surface from the depths of a father's love and compassion--those depths of god which you will not sound contain marvels greater it is true; they are, however, ineffable, for the things of the spirit will only be known to men of the spirit. these trifles are all that can be uttered to those who will not search and see; trifles indeed, for no sign shall be given to this generation; which, if it will not prove the power of prayer by praying, shall not be convinced by marshalled instances of the answers of prayer." viii by the rev. hugh price hughes, m.a. you ask me to give my experience of answers to prayer. i have never had any doubt that dean milman was right when he said that personal religion becomes impossible if prayer is not answered. neither have i ever been able to appreciate the so-called scientific objection to prayer, as we have ample experience in the activity of our own will to illustrate the fact that invariable laws may be so manipulated and utilised as to produce results totally different from those which would have taken place if some free will had not intervened to use them. we must assume that god, who is the author of all natural laws, can with infinite ease manipulate them so as to produce any desired result, without in the least degree altering their character or interfering with the universal reign of law. however, what you want is not theory but actual experience. i will not refer, therefore, to the stupendous proofs that god does answer prayer, presented by mr. müller of bristol in his immense orphanages, or to similar unmistakable results in the various philanthropic institutions of dr. cullis of boston. i will go at once to my own personal experiences, and mention one or two facts that have come under my own observation. there are a great many, but i will simply give a few typical cases. a good many years ago i was conducting a special mission in the neighbourhood of chelsea. it is my custom on these occasions to invite members of the congregation to send me in writing special requests for the conversion of unsaved relatives or friends. on the tuesday night, among many other requests for prayer, was one from a daughter for the conversion of her father. it was presented in due course with the rest, but no one at that moment knew the special circumstances of the case, except the writer. on the following friday i received another request from the same woman; but now it was a request for praise, describing the circumstances under which the prayer had been answered, and i read the wonderful story to the congregation. it appeared that this girl's father was an avowed infidel who had not been to any place of worship for many years, and he disliked the subject of religion so intensely that he ultimately forbade his christian daughter in london to write to him, as she was continually bringing in references to christ. on the particular tuesday evening in question, that infidel father was on his way to a theatre in some provincial town, more than a hundred miles from london. as he was walking to the theatre, there was a sudden shower of rain which drove him for shelter into the vestibule of a chapel where a week-night service was being held. the preacher in the pulpit was a boanerges, whose loud voice penetrated into the lobby, and there was something in what he said that attracted the attention of the infidel and induced him to enter the chapel. he became more and more interested as the sermon proceeded, and before its close he was deeply convinced of sin, and in true penitence sought mercy from jesus christ. i need scarcely say to any one who knows anything of the love of god, that this prayer was speedily answered, and he went home rejoicing in divine forgiveness. the next day he wrote to his daughter in london telling her that he had set out on the previous evening intending to visit the theatre, but had actually found his way into a chapel, where his sins had been forgiven and his heart changed. he wrote at once to tell her the good news, and he assured her that he would now be only too glad to hear from her as often as she could write to him. these facts were communicated through me to the congregation, and we all gave thanks to god. of course it may be said that the conversion of this man, who had not been into a place of worship for more than a dozen years, was a mere accident, and that its coming at the very time we were praying for him was a mere coincidence. but we need not quarrel about words. all we need to establish is, that such delightful accidents and such blessed coincidences are continually occurring in the experience of all real christians. i may add generally, that it is our custom to present written requests for prayer and written requests for praise at the devotional meetings of the west london mission every friday night. this has now gone on without interruption for more than nine years, and i scarcely remember a prayer-meeting at which we have not had some request for praise on account of prayer answered. it may be argued, however, that all such cases are purely subjective, and that they take place in the mysterious darkness and silence of the human heart let my next illustration, then, be of a much more tangible character. let it refer to pounds, shillings, and pence. not long ago the west london mission was greatly in want of money, as has generally been its experience since it began. it would seem as though god could not trust us with any margin. perhaps if we had a considerable balance in the bank we should put our trust in that, instead of realising every moment our absolute dependence on god. like the children of israel in the wilderness, we have had supplies of manna just sufficient for immediate need. always in want, always tempted to be anxious, it has always happened at the last moment, when the case seemed absolutely desperate, that help has been forthcoming, sometimes from the most unexpected quarter. but a short time ago the situation appeared to be unusually alarming, and i invited my principal colleague to meet me near midnight--the only time when we could secure freedom from interruption and rest from our own incessant work. we spent some time, in the quietness of that late hour, imploring god to send us one thousand pounds for his work by a particular day. in the course of the meeting one of our number burst forth into rapturous expressions of gratitude, as he was irresistibly convinced that our prayer was heard and would be answered. i confess i did not share his absolute confidence, and the absolute confidence of my wife and some others. i believed with trembling. i am afraid i could say nothing more than "lord, i believe, help thou my unbelief." the appointed day came. i went to the meeting at which the sum total would be announced. it appeared that in a very short time and in very extraordinary ways nine hundred and ninety pounds had been sent to the west london mission. i confess that, as a theologian i was perplexed. we had asked for a thousand pounds--there was a deficiency of ten. i could not understand it. i went home, trying to explain the discrepancy. as i entered my house and was engaged in taking off my hat and coat, i noticed a letter on the table in the hall. i remembered that it had been lying there when i went out, but i was in a great hurry and did not stop to open it. i took it up, opened it, and discovered that it contained a cheque for ten pounds for the west london mission, bringing up the amount needed for that day to the exact sum which we had named in our midnight prayer-meeting. of course this also may be described as a mere coincidence, but all we want is coincidences of this sort. the name is nothing, the fact is everything, and there have been many such facts. let me give one other in reference to money, as this kind of illustration will perhaps, more than any other, impress those who are disposed to be cynical and to scoff. i was engaged in an effort to build sunday schools in the south of london. a benevolent friend promised a hundred pounds if i could get nine hundred pounds more, within a week. i did my utmost, and by desperate efforts, with the assistance of friends, did get eight hundred pounds, but not one penny more. we reached saturday, and the terms of all the promises were that unless we obtained a thousand pounds that week we could not proceed with the building scheme, and the entire enterprise might have been postponed for years, and, indeed, never accomplished on the large scale we desired. on the saturday morning one of my principal church officers called, and said he had come upon an extraordinary business: that a christian woman in that neighbourhood whom i did not know, of whom i had never heard, who had no connection whatever with my church, had that morning been lying awake in bed, and an extraordinary impression had come in to her that she was at once to give me one hundred pounds! she naturally resisted so extraordinary an impression as a caprice or a delusion. but it refused to leave her; it became stronger and stronger, until at last she was deeply convinced that it was the will of god. what made it more extraordinary was the fact that she had never before had, and would, in all probability, never again have one hundred pounds at her disposal for any such purpose. but that morning she sent me the money through my friend, who produced it in the form of crisp bank of england notes. from that day to this i have no idea whatever who she was, as she wished to conceal her name from me. whether she is alive or in heaven i cannot say; but what i do know is that this extraordinary answer to our prayers secured the rest of the money, and led to the erection of one of the finest schools in london, in which there are more than a thousand scholars to-day. let me give one other illustration in a different sphere. god has answered our prayers again and again by saving those in whom we are interested, and by sending us money. he has also answered prayer for suitable agents to do his work. twelve months ago i was sitting in my study at a very late hour; the rest of the household had gone to bed. i was particularly conscious at that time that i greatly needed a lay agent, who could help me in work among the thousands of young men from business houses who throng st. james's hall. several of our staff who could render efficient service in that direction were fully occupied in other parts of the mission. i prayed very earnestly to god, in my loneliness and helplessness; and whilst i was praying, an assurance was given me that god had heard my prayer. by the first post on the next morning i received a letter from a man whom i had never met, requesting an interview. i saw him. it turned out that he was a staff officer in the salvation army, and formerly a methodist; and that for two years he had been longing for a sphere of work among young men. he had been himself in a manchester business house, and he was extremely anxious for work among young fellows in the great business establishments. for various reasons a development of work in that direction, although it commanded the sympathy of the heads of the salvation army, could not be undertaken just then; and while he was praying upon the subject, it seemed to him as though a definite voice said, "offer yourself to mr. hugh price hughes." in obedience to that voice he came, and he is with us now. he has already gathered round him a large number of young men; and at our last public reception of new members i received into the mission church forty-two young men of this class, who had been brought to christ, or to active association with his church, through the agency of the man whom god so promptly sent me in the hour of my need. nothing that i have said will in the least degree surprise earnest christians and christian ministers. such experiences as these are the commonplace of real and active christianity. ix by the rev. j. clifford, m.a., d.d. immediately after my acceptance of the pastorate of the church to which i still minister, i arranged to continue and broaden my training by attending science classes at university college, london. it was in the year . the day of science was in its brilliant and arresting dawn. professor huxley had been lecturing on biology at the royal school of mines for nearly four years, and his bold and masterly descriptions of "man's place in nature," given to working men, had stirred many minds. darwin's "origin of species" appeared in the following year. the young scientific spirit was daring and aggressive; and scientific methods, though feared in most quarters, were demanding and winning confidence. i was sure science was one of the formative forces of the future, and therefore it seemed to me the teachers of christianity of the next half-century would do well to make themselves practically acquainted with the methods pursued by scientific men, as well as conversant with the results of scientific work. one of huxley's maxims was "the man of science has learnt to believe in justification by verification." certainly! and why not? the christian is bidden by the teacher who ranks next to jesus christ, our one and only master, to "prove all things, and hold fast that which is good." human experience is always verifying truth and exposing falsehood. new forces are set to work in the lives of men, and offer us their effects for examination. new acts repeated lead to new habits, and new habits make a new character. if the gardener inserts a "bud" in the branch of a growing brier, and after a while beholds the beauty and inhales the fragrance of the "gloire de dijon" rose; if the surgeon "operates" one day, and a little while afterwards sees that the forces he has freed from the disabilities of disease are moving forward on their healing mission; so the christian pastor may suggest a truth, inspire a new habit, direct to a new attitude of spirit, secure an uplift of soul, and afterwards trace the effect of these acts on the growth and development of character, and on the quantity and quality of the service given to the kingdom of righteousness and peace and joy in the holy ghost. "experiments" in the field of human nature yield as really verifiable results as those that are given in the nursery of the gardener or the laboratory of the chemist. but contact with scientific methods not only suggested that the pastorate would afford abundant opportunities for verifying the features and characteristics of the spirit of life in jesus christ, by a direct appeal to facts in the manifold experiences of christian men; it also changed the point of view, so that, instead of giving the first place amongst "answers to prayer" to detached and easily reported incidents, that rank was assigned to experiences showing that prayer is one of the chief of the unseen forces in character-building, in deepening humility, in broadening sympathy, in preserving the heart tender and sensitive to human suffering, in quickening aspiration, and giving the note of _soul_ to a man's work and influence. the materials sustaining that conclusion were abundant in the early years of my ministry; notably in one case i can never forget. on the first sabbath evening of my ministry i was preaching on the words "be ye reconciled to god." amongst the listeners was one who had entered the house of prayer without any sense of alienation from god or hunger for his revelation, and, as she afterwards confessed, merely to please her sister. but "the lord opened her heart to give heed to the things that were spoken," so that she forthwith sought and found peace with god through our lord jesus christ. nor did she only obtain peace. with wordsworth she could say: "i bent before thy gracious throne and asked for peace with suppliant knee, and peace was given, nor peace alone, but faith and hope and ecstasy." faith and hope, ecstasy and prayer, were the outstanding features of her new life. she had little time for special acts of christian service, and scant means wherewith to enrich the church; but, according to the witness of those who had known her longest, her character was clad in entirely new charms, and her spirit was fired and filled with new energies. she grew in experience of the grace and love of god, and became at home with god in the deepest sense, and seemed rarely, if ever, absent from her chosen dwelling-place. her strongest feeling was for god, all investing, all encircling; and with reverent freedom and sweet security she lived and moved and had her being in communion with the eternal father. prayer was not a task for specific occasions; it was the breath of her life. it was not a wrestle or a struggle; it was an uplifting of her being into a fellowship with god. it did not shrivel into a litany of petitions; it was sustained aspiration; and aspiration is a large part of achievement; it was deepest satisfaction with god, and his will and his work: and such satisfaction is itself a source of patient strength and a preparation for victory. nor was the effect limited. her nature received a refinement, an elevation, a beauty that triumphed over the physical features, and shone out with a glory that is not seen on sea or shore. the expression of her face seemed to be from god. a transfiguring radiance came from within as she thought on the wonders and delighted in the treasures of the gospel of god. hers was a noble life. like martha, she was engaged in "much serving;" but yet was never cumbered and worn with it, because, like mary, she sat daily at the master's feet, and listened to his words, and received his sustaining strength. she was as sweetly unselfish as the flowers, and gave herself and her "all" to christ, like the widow of the gospels. meekness and humility clothed her with their loveliest robes. i never knew a purer spirit. she always breathed the softness and gentleness of the saviour, and yet i have seen her weak body quiver and throb with its anguish of desire for the salvation of the lost. faithful unto death, she realised the support and joy of the christian's hope, and gently as leaves are shed by the flower that has finished its course, she fell into the arms of jesus; and as deborah, rebekah's nurse, was buried under the "oak of weeping" amid affectionate regrets and sweet memories, so this christian servant was laid in the grave with tears of real sorrow from those whom she had served so faithfully and long, as well as from friends who had been gladdened and fortified in the faith of christ by her sweet, earnest, and beautiful christian life. that day is now far off, but the influence of her prayer-filled life still feeds faith in god as the hearer and the answerer of prayer. about the same time and in the same spiritual laboratory i was called to observe the following processes. a woman, the wife of a blacksmith, was led by the gospel of christ into the joy of salvation. her experience of the grace of god in christ was vivid and full. she knew little of doubt concerning herself, but she was full of solicitude for her husband and children; for she had a very heavy burden to carry, and her heart was sore stricken. her husband was a drunkard. when sober he was true, devoted, and loving; but when he fell into intemperance he became hard, harsh, and even violent. but never did the brave and trustful wife cease to hope or cease to pray. in the darkest hours she begged for the conversion of her husband, and felt sure that god would respond to her supplications. that was her habitual mood, her supreme desire, her living prayer; and i could see that this very disposition developed her saintliness, deepened her affection for her husband, and gave increased beauty to her family life, as well as added to her usefulness in the church. one day, in the course of my pastoral visits, i called at the blacksmith's home. scarcely was the threshold crossed when the husband rushed in, wild, angry, and violent, the prey of intoxicants. but before he had proceeded far the wife approached him, flung her arms around him, called him by name, and said: "ah, god will give you to me yet." saint ambrose told monica, when she went to him, sad and desponding about her son, "god would not forget the prayers of such a mother," and augustine came, though late in his young manhood, into the kingdom and patience of jesus christ. so i felt the earnest pleadings of this true wife and mother would not be forgotten of god, but that, according to her own beautiful saying, god would "give her husband to her;" for she did not think he was completely hers whilst he was under the dominion of intoxicants,--give him to her freed from that depraving and desolating slavery. and it was so. for he, too, became a christian, and they together effectively served their generation according to the will of god, "turning men from darkness to light, and from the power of satan unto god." there recurs to me the image of a visitor who called one sunday evening in , and who wished to know what he was to do in order to control and suppress an ungovernable temper. for years it had tortured him past all bearing, and, what was worse, for years it had been a source of pain and discomfort in his home. when his anger was kindled he was by his own confession a terror to wife and children, and, seeing that he had recently become a christian, he felt acutely the stain such actions fixed on garments that should have been unspotted by the world. "what must i do? i can't go on in this way, and yet though i feel it is wrong i can't help myself." the first suggestion i ventured was based on the regard he had expressed for his pastor. "what would be the effect," said i, "on you, if i were to appear at the moment the storm was about to burst? think!" he thought, and then said, "it wouldn't burst i should stop it." "well, then, try this plan. force yourself at the moment of peril into the conscious presence of god, and say, as you feel the uprising passion, 'o god, make me master of myself.' pray that prayer; and pray, morning by morning, that you may so pray in your time of need; and in due season you will obtain the perfect mastery of yourself you seek." he promised. i watched. he prayed. he conquered; once, twice, thrice, and then failed; but he renewed the attempt, and triumphed again, and years afterwards i knew him as one of the most serene of men; and when he died, no phase of his character stood out more distinctively than his perfect self-control, and no fact in his life was remembered with deeper gratitude by his bereaved wife than that memorable victory won by prayer in the early days of his discipleship to the lord jesus. from the beginning of my ministry i have made it my business to offer advice and aid to young men and maidens assailed with doubts and fears concerning the revelation of god in christ, hindered at the outset by misconceptions of the "way of salvation," and perplexed by confused and contradictory teaching. hundreds of young men (and within the last ten years especially, many young women) have described to me their difficulties as they have reached the stage described by roscoe in the words, "there are times when faith is weak and the heart yearns for knowledge." here is a "case" chosen from a large number of similar facts. a young man came to tell me the somewhat familiar story, that the first fervours of his religious life had cooled down, his early raptures were gone, and the sense of peace and bounding freedom, and of all-sufficing strength in god, had departed with them. the certainties of the opening months or years of the christian pilgrimage had given place to torturing questions, such as, "am i not deceived? after all, is christianity true? what are its real contents? what is inspiration? did miracles happen?" etc., etc. week after week we reasoned and argued, and months passed in a struggle whose usefulness no one could register, and whose issue no one could forecast. but it "happened," as these conversations were going on, that he was "drawn" into what i may call a "prayer circle," privately carried on by a small group of young men who were not unacquainted with such conflicts as those which then engaged his powers. he joined it, and by-and-by felt its influence. he was lifted into another atmosphere, and breathed a clearer, sunnier air. his misgivings were slowly displaced by missionary enthusiasm, and his fears by a stronger faith; and yet he had not solved the problems suggested by the person of christ, or found the secret of the incarnation, or explained the mystery of the atonement. but he had been led to set the full force of his nature on communion with god; and prayer had quickened the sense for spiritual realities, for the recognition of the infinite value of the human soul, and for the wonder and splendour of god's salvation. in that realm of prayer, character was altered, the aim of life was altered, the will had a new goal, and so the questions of the intellect fell into their true place in reference to the whole of the questions of life. emerson writes, "when all is said and done, the rapt saint is found the only logician." it is he who thinks the most sanely and dwells nearest the central truths of life and being. it is he who becomes serenely acquiescent in the agnosticism of the bible, and realises that revelation must contain many things past finding out, whilst the spirit, who is the revealer, gives us the best assurances of the certitude and clearness of what it is most important for us to know. so often have i seen this rest-giving effect on the intellect, of the lifting of the life into communion with god, that i cannot hesitate to regard it as a law of the life of man, and yet i must add that i do not think it wise to meet those who ask our aid in the treatment of their mental perplexities merely, or at _first_, with the counsel to pray. most likely they will misunderstand it, and it will become to them a stone of stumbling and a rock of offence. we had better, if we are able, meet them first on their own ground, that of the intellect, and meet them with frankness and sympathy, with knowledge and tact; and yet seek by the spirit we breathe, and the associations into which we introduce them, to raise them where the saviour's beatitude shall become an experience: "blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see god." prayer has often proved itself an infallible recipe for dejection. a man of culture and wealth was for a long time pursued by what seemed to him an intolerable and invariable melancholy. he sought relief near and far, and sought in vain. he became a source of anxiety to his friends. he went away to bellagio, goaded by the same restlessness, but its lovely surroundings did not heal, its soft airs did not soothe. no! all was dark and repellent. even prayer seemed of no use. god had forgotten him. he was cast off as reprobate. his soul was disquieted within him. the burden of his misery was more than he could carry. he threatened to take away his life. but in his despair he still clung to his god; and at last, as in this desperate, and yet not altogether hopeless or prayerless mood, he read a sermon on "elijah as a brave prophet tired of life;" hope was reborn and joy restored, and as bunyan's pilgrim lost his burden at the cross, so this elijah escaped from his tormentors, and came forth and dwelt in the light of god's countenance. it was the prayer of a weak and struggling faith; but god did not turn it away, nor reject the voice of his supplication. what abundant witness that "more things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of" could be supplied by pastors and elders who have visited the widow and the fatherless, the sick and suffering in their afflictions. one picture comes to me from the crowded past, of a strong and victorious, though much enduring saint. crippled by disease, she did not rise from her bed unaided for more than seven years. she was always in pain, sometimes heavy and dull, but not infrequently keen and sharp. yet through all these years, she not only did not complain, but she had such an overflow of quiet cheerfulness and of deep interest in life that she distributed her gladness to others and made them partakers of her serenity. you could not detain her in talk about herself, her ailments, her broken plans, her manifold disappointments. no! she would compel you to talk of the church, its schools, its missions, its various activities; of societies and movements for getting rid of social evils, such as intemperance and impurity. sometimes the theme was last sunday's sermons, or those in preparation for the next; but rarely herself. there she lay with a patience that was never ruffled, a serenity rarely if ever disturbed, a forgetfulness of self bright and fresh, a solicitude for others deep and full, and a fellowship with god not only unbroken, but so inspiring as to make the sick-room a sanctuary radiant with his presence. prayer led her to the fountains of divine joy, daily she drank and was refreshed. so i set down a few tested, verified facts from the early part of a ministry of over thirty-eight years; facts chosen from amongst many, and in substance repeated again and again during recent, but not yet reportable years. x by the very rev. g. d. boyle, m.a. dean of salisbury "what was it that struck you most in that sermon on the character of st. paul?" said bishop patteson to a friend at oxford, who had been with him listening to a sermon preached before the university by a very remarkable man, who has now passed away. "those two sentences," said his friend, "in which he said there were two great powers in the world, the power of personal religion, and the power of prayer." when i told this many years afterwards to one of the best parish priests i have ever known, he gave me, from his own experience, some instances of answers to prayer which are certainly worth reading. shortly after he had entered holy orders, he joined a clerical society. he was greatly pleased with three of the younger members, but thought from their conversation after the meeting that they were too fond of amusements. as he walked home he spoke of this to an elderly clergyman, who said, "let you and me make for them special prayer, that they may take a more serious view of their calling." some time afterwards my friend happened to see one of these three brother clergymen at a time of great sorrow. he told him that he had resolved to give up certain amusements, which he thought at one time harmless. some time afterwards the other two openly declared that they had taken a similar course, and my friend did not scruple to avow his belief that the after lives of these three men, all of high family, and all remarkable for their zeal as clergymen, was a direct answer to special intercession. he told me of a still more striking instance. two men, who had been friends at college, met after many years abroad. the one said to the other, "when you were at oxford, you told me you were very indifferent as to religion, so i suppose you will not go with me this morning to the english service." "but i certainly will," said his friend. "i have given up all that sort of thing; i left off praying for years, in the belief that as god knows everything it was needless to pray, but an impulse came upon me after hearing baron parke's account of a sermon he heard shergold boone preach, and i am now a communicant." "then, dear----," said his friend, "i think my prayer is answered, for i have never ceased since oxford days to ask that you might have the happiness i enjoy." these two are surely remarkable instances of answers to special prayer for spiritual benefit. what shall be said of the faithful man who, through his own effort, maintained a small but efficient orphanage? from no fault of his own his supplies ceased. there came into his mind some words of edward irving's about the fatherhood of god. he made a special petition for the relief of his poor children. on his return home he found a letter containing a request that the future welfare of his home should be ensured by a permanent endowment. "how could you keep your temper through all the vexatious dispute of to-night's debate?" was the question asked of lord althorpe by his most intimate friend, after a fierce discussion on the reform bill. "i always ask for strength before going to the house," was the answer; "and to-day i asked for special strength, for i knew that party spirit ran high." many years ago i worked as a curate in the district which had seen the first labours of the excellent bishop of wakefield, whose sudden removal from active work will long be deeply mourned by the church of england. when he left kidderminster for a country parish, he gave a new testament to a young man who had at one time promised well, but who fell into bad company. "i shall make you the subject of special prayer," said the bishop, on wishing him good-bye. some years afterwards i told the bishop that his advice had not been thrown away, and his words were, "i humbly hope my prayer was heard." bishop mackenzie told a friend of mine that he had asked for some change in the life of two favourite pupils at cambridge. they were not in the habit of going to university sermons, but they went to hear one of bishop selwyn's famous series in . one of them became an eminent clergyman, and the other died a missionary in india. one more instance will suffice. an attack upon the divinity of christ was published some years ago by one who had been trained in a very different way. his former tutor, who had a very great love for him, asked a few friends not to forget him. as the tutor was dying, he had the satisfaction of hearing that the man he had known and loved from childhood had returned to the faith of a child. i believe that all who have had considerable experience in parochial work could give many instances of special answers to prayer. in recent years many have come forward to offer themselves for labor at home and abroad. the present occupation of many minds with the difficulties of belief, the revelations made by earnest thinkers like romanes, the questions raised in such lives as the late master of balliol's, the earnest longings for some reconciliation between the men of science and the men of faith, may all surely be accepted as in some degree answers to the prayers and aspirations of all who hope that in the church of the future there may be found a simple faith, an enduring charity, and a belief in the unchangeable strength of an unchangeable saviour. a word to the reader. do you know what "sabbath reading" is? it is a -page weekly paper, devoted exclusively to the best class of religious matter. no word of secular news, politics, sectarianism, or wearying disputations on the "letter" which killeth, but much of the best teaching on the "spirit" which giveth life. a special feature consists of brief talks on meditative and devotional themes for the family and the fireside. these talks are contributed by dr. theo. l. cuyler, d.d., rev. newman hall, d.d., rev. j. r. miller, d.d., rev. w. garden blaikie, d.d., mary lowe dickenson, bishop e. r. hendrix, count a. bernstorf, rt. rev. fred. d. huntington, d.d., george dana boardman, d.d., louis albert banks, d.d., bishop henry w. warren, rev. wayland hoyt, d.d. it has an exposition of the current sabbath-school lesson, of the christian endeavor topic, and of the epworth league topic; choice poetry; good stories; missionary news and views; _no essays_. its subscription price is only fifty cents a year. _a sample copy cheerfully sent free._ john dougall & co., nassau street, new york. transcriber's notes: text in italics is surrounded with underscores: _italics_. obvious typographical errors have been corrected as follows: page : "liliputian" changed to "lilliputian" errors in punctuation have been corrected without note. facts stranger than fiction the wonders of prayer: a record of well authenticated and wonderful answers to prayer. as narrated by: george muller, w.w. patten, d.d., d.l. moody, chas. cullis, c.h. spurgeon, s.i. prime, d.d., bishop simpson, e. krummacher, newman hall, d.d., martin luther, bishop t. bowman, john knox, chas. g. finney, abraham lincoln, and hosts of others. new edition. revised by d.w. whittle. * * * * * introduction to first edition. the incidents which are published in this volume, are vouched for upon the strongest proofs of authenticity possible to obtain, and are either of circumstances known amid my own experience, or connected with the lives of my correspondents and their friends. they are the thankful record and tribute to the power of _persevering faith_. nothing has been published concerning which there is the least shadow of doubt. all have been carefully investigated. every case has been one of real prayer, and the results that have come, came only in answer to the prayer of faith, and were not possible to obtain without it. they demonstrate to a wonderful degree, the immediate practical ways of the lord with his children in this world, that he is far nearer and more intimate with their plans and pursuits than it is possible for them to realize. neither have we depended upon the relation of facts of a few, to convince the world of the real power of faith, but have added concurrent testimony of incidents actually known in the experience of such eminent clergymen as charles spurgeon, newman hall, martin luther, w. huntington, dr. waterbury, george muller, dr. cullis, dr. patton, dr. adams, dr. prime, bishop simpson, and many others. also we have added some incidents known and investigated and found absolutely true, by the editors of the following journals, who add their unquestioning belief in the power of prayer: _the christian, the evangelist, the observer, the congregationalist, the advance, the illustrated christian weekly, the american messenger, the witness_. likewise we have been greatly assisted by some of our home missionaries, who, from their daily experiences with the poor and suffering, have been eye-witnesses to remarkable experiences and the wonderful help of the lord in answering their prayers. these testimonies here recorded must be accepted as true. they demonstrate that answers to prayer are not occasional, and therefore remarkable that they do occur, but are of constant occurrence. there may be many minds who, having carried no trial to the lord, have never been brought into intimate acquaintances of the ways in which the lord tries the faith of his children, nor led to see and observe his wonderful control over human wills and circumstances. the power of the lord is learned only by those who in deep trouble have faithfully sought him and seen his ways of deliverance. none can ever understand the full power of prayer until they have learned the lesson of trust. it is only when for the _first time_ in the christian's own life of faith, it realizes the hand of god in his personal dealings with him, how near he is, or how clearly he feels the presence of that tremendous overruling spirit which "_turneth the heart whithersoever he will_." the actual existence of our god is therefore proved, not alone from _history_, nor from the bible alone, nor from current natural or religious feeling and beliefs, nor from the testimony of old witnesses several thousand years old, _but from the actual incidents of present prayer_, and the _literal answer_. daily faith and trust and prayer have made the christian deeply acquainted with him and his ways, and humbly dependent upon his care and love and help, in the events of life. _no one ever faithfully trusted the lord in vain_. circumstances so clouded that it has been impossible for men to control, have, through believing prayer, been so made to change, that through them has been revealed _living evidences_ of the presence of _the ever living god_. * * * * * discerning prayer. introductory. by d.w. whittle. to recognize god's existence is to necessitate prayer to him, by all intelligent creatures, or, a consciously living in sin and under condemnation of conscience, because they do not pray to him. it would be horrible to admit the existence of a supreme being, with power and wisdom to create, and believe that the creatures he thought of consequence and importance enough to bring into existence, are not of enough consequence for him to pay any attention to in the troubles and trials consequent upon that existence. surely such a statement is an impeachment of both the wisdom and goodness of god. it were far more sensible for those who deny the fitness and necessity of prayer to take the ground of the atheist and say plainly "we do not pray, for there is no god to pray to," for to deny prayer, is practical atheism. so in the very constitution of man's being there is the highest reasonableness in prayer. and, if the position of man in his relation to the earth he inhabits is recognized and understood, there is no unreasonableness in a god-fearing man looking to god for help and deliverance under any and all circumstances, in all the vicissitudes of life. the earth was _made_ for man. one has said "there is nothing great in the world but man; and there is nothing great in man but his soul." with this in view, how absurd to talk about "fixed laws" and "unchangeable order," in a way to keep man in his trouble from god. it is all the twaddle of the conceit of man setting himself up to judge and limit his maker. "to whom then will ye liken me, or shall i be equal? saith the holy one." the creator is greater than his creation; the law giver is supreme over all law. he created the earth that it might be inhabited by man, and he governs the earth in subordination to the interests, the eternal and spiritual welfare of the race of immortal beings that are here being prepared for glory and immortality. laws, indeed, are fixed in their operation and results as subserving the highest good in the training and the disciplining of the race, giving them hope in their labor and sure expectation of fruit from their toil. but as set in operation for _man's good_, so, in an exigency that may make necessary their suspension, to secure his deliverance from peril and bring man back to the recognition of the personal god, as above, law, is it unreasonable to believe that god has power thus to suspend or overrule his own arrangements? a wise father will govern his children by rules as securing their best good. but he will retain in his power the suspending of those rules when special occasions arise, when the object for which they exist can be better secured by their suspension. shall not the living god have the same right? so much as to the reflections suggested by the dogmas of natural religion. they sustain in reason our faith in prayer. the basis, however, of our faith rests upon the unchanging and unchangeable revelation of god, and not upon man's philosophy. jesus taught his disciples to pray, saying, "our father which art in heaven." as christians, this is our authority for prayer. in the words, "our father," our blessed lord has given us the substance of all that can be said, as to _the privilege of prayer, what to pray for_, and _how to pray_. there can be no loftier exercise of soul ever given to created intelligence than to come into conscious contact with the living god, and be able to say "_my_ father." and surely, as my father, with a loving father's heart, it must be his desire that i should tell him _all_ my needs, _all_ my sorrows, _all_ my desires. and, so his word commands, "be careful for nothing, but _in everything_, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto god." (phil, iv., .) under this verse there is positively no exception of any request that may not be made known unto god. so there is true faith and right christian philosophy in the remark, "if a _pin_ was needful to my happiness and i could not find one i would pray to god for it." the mistake of christians is in _not_ praying over _little_ things. "the hairs of your head are all numbered." consult god about everything. expect his counsel, his guidance, his care, his provision, his deliverance, his blessing, in everything. does not the expression, "our _daily_ bread," mean just this? can there be any true life of faith that does not include this? whatever will serve to help god's children to a better understanding of the blessed privileges of prayer, and prove to them the reality of god's answering prayer in the cares, trials and troubles of _daily life_, will approve itself to all thoughtful minds as a blessing to them and an honor to god. it is the purpose of this volume to do this. we are more helped by testimony to _facts_ than by theories and doctrines. when we have illustrations before our eyes of god's care for his children, and his response to their faith, even in the minutest things, we understand the meaning of his promises and the reality of his providences. the writer had many thoughts in this line suggested to him by an incident, with which he was connected, in the life of george muller. it was my happiness to cross the atlantic in the company of this dear brother on the steamship sardinian, from quebec to liverpool, in june, . i met mr. muller in the express office the morning of sailing, about half an hour before the tender was to take the passengers to the ship. he asked of the agent if a deck chair had arrived for him from new york. he was answered, no, and told that it could not possibly come in time for the steamer. i had with me a chair i had just purchased and told mr. muller of the place near by, where i had obtained it, and suggested that as but a few moments remained he had better buy one at once. his reply was, "no, my brother, our heavenly father will send the chair from new york. it is one used by mrs. muller, as we came over, and left in new york when we landed. i wrote ten days ago to a brother who promised to see it forwarded here last week. he has not been prompt as i would have desired, but i am sure our heavenly father will send the chair. mrs. muller is very sick upon the sea, and has particularly desired to have this same chair, and not finding it here yesterday when we arrived, as we expected, we have made special prayer that our heavenly father would be pleased to provide it for us, and we will trust him to do so." as this dear man of god went peacefully on board the tender, running the risk of mrs. muller making the voyage without a chair, when for a couple of dollars she could have been provided for, i confess i feared mr. muller was carrying his faith principles too far and not acting wisely. i was kept at the express office ten minutes after mr. muller left. just as i started to hurry to the wharf a team drove up the street, and on top of a load just arrived from new york, _was mr. muller's chair_! it was sent at once to the tender and placed in _my hands_ to take to mr. muller (the lord having a lesson for me) just as the boat was leaving the dock. i found mr. and mrs. muller in a retired spot on one side of the tender and handed him the chair. he took it with the happy, pleased expression of a child who has just received a kindness deeply appreciated, and reverently removing his hat and folding his hands over it, he thanked his heavenly father for sending the chair. "in _everything_ by prayer and supplication let your requests be made known unto god." "casting _all_ your care upon him, for he careth for you." so the word of god teaches us as his children (_inviting_ us to pray, _commanding_ us to pray, and _teaching us_ how to pray), that there is a divine reality in prayer. experience abundantly corroborates the teaching. every truly converted man knows from this experience that god answers prayer. he has verified the promise. "call unto me, and i will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not." (jer. xxxiii., .) his life is a life of prayer, and grows more and more to be a life of almost unconscious dependence upon god, as he becomes fixed in the habit of prayer. this, and it is the purpose of god, is the result secured by prayer. with this in view, it will not be so much what we expect to get by praying, as a consciousness of coming into closer relations to god, the giver of all, in our prayers, that will give us true joy. often god's children are driven to the throne of grace by some desperate need of help and definite supply of an absolute want, and, as they cry to god and plead their case with tears before him, he so manifests his presence to them and so fills them with a consciousness of his love and power, that the burden is gone and _without the want being supplied_ that drove them to god, they rejoice in _god himself_ and care not for the deprivation. this was paul's experience when he went thus to god about the thorn, and came away without the specific relief he had prayed for, but with such a blessing as a result of his drawing near to god, that he little cared whether the thorn remained or not--or, rather, rejoiced that it was not removed; that it might be used to keep him near to god, whose love so filled his soul. a widow once told the writer of the turning point in her christian life, when god's love was so shed abroad in her heart that she had been enabled to go on through all her trials rejoicingly conscious of god's presence, and casting all her burdens upon him. she was driven to seek god by great need. her husband's death left her destitute, with little children to provide for, and few friends from whom to look for continuous aid. winter drew on, and, one day, her little boy came in shivering with cold and asked if he could not have a fur cap, as his straw hat was very cold and none of the boys at school wore straw hats. she was without a cent in the world. she gave a hopeful answer to the boy and sent him out to play, and then went to her bedroom and knelt and wept in utter desolation of heart before god, praying most earnestly that god would give her a token that he _was_ her god and was caring for her by sending her a cap for her boy. while she prayed the peace of god filled her soul. she was made to feel the presence of her saviour in such a way that all doubts as to his love for her and his fulfillment of all his promises to care for her vanished away, and she went out of her room, rejoicing in the lord and singing his praise. she had no burden about the cap, and was quite content for god to send it or not as it pleased him; and, in the afternoon, when a neighbor called, occupied with the lord and his wonderful love, the thought of the cap had gone from her mind. when the neighbor rose to depart, she said, "you know my little boy died last fall. just before he died i bought him a fur cap: he only wore it two or three times. after his death i put away all his things and thought i could never part with any of them. but, this morning, as i went to the drawer to look them over, i felt that i should give you this cap for your little boy. will you take it of me?" as she took the cap and told her neighbor of the morning trial, prayer and blessing, two souls were filled with the sense of the reality of prayer and the love of god for his children. "my little boy," said the widow, "wore that cap for three winters. and often, when sorely tried by my circumstances, has god lifted the burden from my heart, by my just looking at it, and remembering the blessing that came with it." experiences like this god gives to all his children, not for the purpose of leading them to look to him for supplying their physical necessities, as an end, but to make himself known to them, and to secure their confidence and love, for "this is life eternal, that they might know thee, the only true god and jesus christ, whom thou hast sent." (jno. xvii, .) the use of prayer is to bring us into communion with god, for the growth of the spiritual life, that is ours by faith in christ jesus. to leave it upon any lower plane than this, is to rob it of its highest functions and to paralyze it of lasting power for good in any direction. the promises of god are conditioned upon our being in this state of heart toward god. "if ye abide in me and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you." (jno. xv., .) abiding in christ, our will will be his will, as to desiring that which will most advance the divine life and promote confidence in god, and all our desires for material blessings will be subordinated to this motive. right here must come in a line of truth that will lead us from the spirit of dictation in our prayers to god in all matters pertaining to our worldly concerns. we cannot tell what is for our highest spiritual good. the saving of our property or the taking it away. the recovery from sickness or the continuance of it; the restoration of the health of our loved one, or his departing to be with christ; the removing the thorn or the permitting it to remain. "_in everything_" it is indeed our blessed privilege to let _our requests_ be make known unto god, but, praise his name, he has not passed over to us the awful responsibility of the assurance that _in everything_ the requests we make known will be granted. he has reserved the decision, where we should rejoice to leave it, to his infinite wisdom and his infinite love. there is a danger to be carefully guarded against in the reading of this book and in the consideration of the precious truth. the incidents it relates bring before the mind, of the unlimited resources and the unquenchable love of god, that are made available to believing prayer. that danger has been suggested by what has been said, that the highest use of prayer is to bring the soul nearer to god, and _not the making of it a mere matter of convenience to escape physical ills or supply physical necessities_. "that which is born of the flesh is flesh" and continues flesh until the end. "have no confidence in the flesh" is always a much needed exhortation. now, unquestionably, the desires of the natural heart may and do deceive us, and often lead as to believe that our fervent earnest prayer for temporal blessing is led of the spirit, when the mind of the spirit is, that we will be made more humble, more christ-like and more useful by being denied than by being granted. again, we are in danger of disobeying the plain commands of _god's word_ in allowing prayer ever to take the place of anything _in our power_ to do, and _that we are commanded to do as a means to secure needed good_. he who has said "pray always," has also said, "be ambitious to be quiet and to do your own business, and to work with your hands, even as we charged you; that ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and may have need of nothing." ( thess., iv., , ; r.v.) how often the _flesh_ has led men to read (phil, iv., ): "my god shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by christ jesus," in a spirit entirely opposed to this exhortation. they have ceased to labor with their hands, and, without warrant in the providences of god and the judgment of brethren, have turned from doing their own business, expecting the lord to pay their debts and provide for their necessities. the quotations of scripture made by our lord to satan, "thou shalt not tempt the lord, thy god," is surely applicable in all such cases. the spirit of a "sound mind" (see tim. i., ) will surely recognize this. so in _all_ things, that which god has given me intelligence and power to do, in avoiding evil or securing good, i am under direct command from him to do, always depending upon his blessing to secure the needed result. a _true faith_ in god will be made manifest by careful obedience to known commands. an _intelligent_ faith can never allow dependence upon means used to take the place of dependence upon the living god, who alone makes them efficacious. it must result in _presumptions_ faith, if obedience is neglected, and the results only promised to obedience are expected. that god _can_ give blessing, without the use of the ordinary means, on man's part, there is no question. that he _has_ done so is a matter of record. yet we should remember that there were but _two_ miraculous draughts of fishes, and _only twice_ did our lord make bread without the use of seed-time, harvest, grinding and baking. the _rule_ of christ in his earthly ministry was, most certainly, to receive the supply of his physical wants from his heavenly father, in the use of means to secure the results offered in the ordinary operation of the laws of god. he went into the corn-field at autumn and visited the olive tree for sustenance as did other men. and the question for his disciples is not what god _can_ do, and not what he _has_ done (that he may be known as god over all creation, blessed for evermore) in the suspension of natural laws, but what has he revealed to us as his will during the time of the present dispensation of the church on this earth, as to his children using means for the avoidance of evil and securing of good, or depending entirely upon miraculous interference in answer to the prayer of faith for all need without reference to use of means. does the prayer, "give us this day our daily bread," mean that we are to do nothing to secure our bread, lest we show no faith in god, and simply wait in idleness for god to repeat the miracle of sending it by a raven? or, does it mean that with thankful hearts to god for the ability he has given us to work, that we go forth diligently fulfilling our task in the use of all appropriate means to secure that which his loving bounty has made possible for us in the fruitful seasons of the earth, and return with devout recognition that he is the creator, upholder and giver of all, bringing our sheaves with us. when seed-time and harvest fail and death is on the land, when corn fails in egypt and there is no bread, when _we have obeyed him_ and sought to toil with our hands and no man has given unto us, then we will expect his interposition and will have faith that he who has fed us by use of means, will supply us without means, and that he alone is the living god. it is noticeable that the prophet elisha, whose prayers god heard in the multiplication of the twenty loaves during the dearth at gilgal, was made elijah's successor when following his twelve yoke of oxen at the plough in the field, diligently using means to obtain bread, and undoubtedly communing with god all the while and recognizing the evidences of his love and power in every upturned daisy as he ploughed the sod, and in every seed that he dropped into the fertile earth, and thought it grand to be a fellow worker with god in the husbandry of the earth and not one to be fed in idleness, neglecting the toil appointed to man, and losing the blessing that is promised in the word of god, in the discipline and the knowledge of god in the operations of his laws, that comes in a greater or less degree to all of earth's honest toilers. it is the opinion of many of god's children that as the present dispensation draws to its close, there will be among the spiritually minded and consecrated ones of the church, a reproduction of the gifts of pentecost for a last testimony to the world before christ comes in glory. there is much scripture that might be quoted to sustain this opinion. god grant in his grace and mercy that it may be so. but neither the church or the world have any _claim_ upon god for it. the church has abused grace and the world has despised mercy. all the promises as to miracles wrought for a testimony as to the truth of christ's resurrection, have been fulfilled. if christ were to come to-day, the world would be without excuse in having rejected him, and could not plead that signs and wonders had been abundantly wrought in his name in the establishing of his church upon the earth. the question of our lord in luke xviii., , "when the son of man cometh shall he find faith on the earth?" suggests to many minds that there may not be vouchsafed during the time immediately preceding his manifestations, any marked interference by god in the way of miracles or signs among his children, but that their faith in him as the unseen god, and their trust in the truth and verify of his word, will be brought forth to the praise and glory of god and their joy, by their being left to the _word alone_ and the operations of the holy ghost by and through the word for their comfort and stability in the faith. coupled with this thought let it ever be borne in mind by the believer that the testimony of god's word as to miracles, signs and wonders wrought by _satanic agency_ in the church, during the last day, is clear and unmistakable, and warnings abound as to our danger from them. "the spirit saith expressly that in later times some shall fall away from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits and doctrines of devils." tim. iv., . "but know this, that in the last days grievous times shall come." "evil men and impostors shall wax worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived." tim. iii., and . "satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. therefore it is no great thing if his ministers be transformed as the ministers of righteousness. cor. xi., . "and then shall that wicked be revealed. even him whose coming is after the working of satan, _with all power, and signs_, and _lying wonders_; and with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish, because they received not the love of the truth that they might be saved." thess. ii., to . by these passages it is plain that a sign or a wonder does not establish a doctrine or endorse a man as certainly being _from god_. the doctrine and the man must be judged by the written word of god. if there is ought in the doctrine that denies that jesus is the son of god, that derogates in the slightest degree from the merit of his atonement on the cross for our sins, or that takes the eye off from him as the risen and coming lord, the alone object of our faith and hope, or that dishonors in any way god's holy word, taking from or adding to it, _then_ the more signs and wonders and manifestations of mysterious power that there may be connected with it, then the more certainly we may know that it is of satan and not of god. and if, in the man who exhibits signs and wonders, there is a spirit contrary to the spirit of christ, in his seeking honor from man, and using his power to establish a claim to such honor, "speaking of himself as some great one," and not walking in humility as a sinner saved from hell and kept day by day by the power of god through faith in christ, and if the purpose of his signs be to establish revelations he is receiving in any form apart from the written word, then, though his signs be as marvelous as those of the magicians in egypt, or simon magnus in samaria, he is, like them, a minister of satan and not a minister of jesus christ. the age abounds in doctrines and men of this kind. the life of faith lays the soul open to assaults of the devil by their agency. "beloved try the spirits whether they be of god." let us not waver in our faith in god's overruling providence, and in the reality of his interposition in answer to prayer for the deliverance and help of his people under any and all circumstances. "in _everything_, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let our requests be made known unto god," but let our first request be that we be kept in a sound mind obedient to the word, and let _all of_ our requests close with the utterance, from a sincere heart, of the words, "thy will be done." if this be the attitude of our hearts our prayers shall be abundantly and graciously answered, and god shall guide us from the wiles of the evil one for the sake of his dear son jesus christ our lord, through whose precious blood we have all grace and all blessing. amen. lake view, july th, . * * * * * a man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven. john : . * * * * * his covenant. _"know, that the lord, thy god he is god, the faithful god, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him, and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations."_ _"my covenant will i not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips."_ _"i will not suffer my faithfulness to fail."_ _"i have spoken it, i will also bring it to pass; i have purposed it, i will also do it."_ _"he is faithful that promised."_ _"i will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of david."_ _"once have i sworn by my holiness that i will not lie unto david."_ _"god is not a man, that he should lie; hath he said and shall he not do it? hath he spoken and shall he not make it good?"_ _"forever, o lord, thy word is settled in heaven; thy faithfulness is unto all generations, thy word is true from the beginning."_ _"thy faithfulness is unto all generations."_ _"the word of our god shall stand forever."_ _"so shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth; it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which i please, and it shall prosper in the things whereto i sent it."_ * * * * * answers to prayer a wonderful answer to prayer and proof of the existence of the holy spirit. a trustful christian, whose heart had been deeply touched with thoughts of religion, was one day thinking and pondering and wishing that he might be more truly convinced of the actual existence of the holy spirit. "if," thought he, "there is a holy spirit, a superior mind and will, i reverently and sincerely wish that i may be convinced of it beyond all doubt; that i may indeed know god is a living reality and daily guide and mighty among the plans and ways of men." though having all the needed mental, historic and heart belief and trust in god--still there was desired that special satisfaction which can only come by _personal evidence._ with reverent feeling one morning, he asked the lord humbly, in prayer, "_what can thy servant, do for thee this day? teach him, that he may gladly minister to any one in thy name_." in the course of the day there came to him the thought of the revival services then proceeding in brooklyn, and feeling a cordial sympathy, he sat down and wrote a letter to _mr. moody_, with these words: "_i know not how you are supported, or anything of your needs; but i feel like helping you in your good work. enclosed find check for $ ; take it and use it if you need it for yourself; if not, then do some good with it_." the circumstance was almost forgotten, when the day after there came this wonderful reply from mr. moody: "_your letter came to hand in the_ same mail, _at the_ same instant _of_ time, _with a letter from a brother in distress_ wanting the same amount. _and now you have made him happy, and my heart glad, and the lord will bless you for it."_ d.l. moody. had there been a direct revelation from heaven, it could not have been more astounding than this, to the heart of that christian. his own prayer was answered, as to his search for the evidences of the holy spirit, but oh, how wonderfully! none but a superior, higher, overruling spirit, could have known the thoughts and desires of each heart. nothing but an omnipotent hand of power and wisdom could have brought these two letters together at that identical instant of time. none but an all-knowing father could have fixed the amount of money which the one was to give and the other was to pray for. this was a wonderful conjuncture of time, desire and amount, and could never have happened by any chance operation of nature or the natural heart and will. strangest of all, neither of the parties had ever met, known or corresponded with each other before. neither did mr. moody know of the desire of the one, nor the necessity of the other, until in the act of opening the two letters side by side. in the one envelope was the prayer; in the other the answer. that check, those letters, with all signatures and endorsements and those persons are this day living and can testify to the authenticity of the circumstance. the prayer of faith. the family of mr. james r. jordan has resided in lake view, chicago, since the spring of . they are members of lincoln park congregational church. the father, mr. james r. jordan, died in october, , aged eighty-four years. through a long series of financial trials, sorrows, afflictions by death and pressing cares, this family learned to depend on god for their daily prosperity; and the cures wrought in them, according to god's word, are only a small portion of the remarkable answers to prayer with which their history is filled. it is an instructive fact for christian meditation, that when the exercise of intelligent faith was necessary to their cures, the faith was there _ready for exercise._ they had not to begin, as, alas! so many do, at the very foundation, and find out first, what faith is, and next, how to exercise it. they had learned long before what faith is and what faith is not; that _faith is trustful obedience to the word of god;_ that it _is not_ a determination to have one's own way, nor to expect the immediate gratification of a desire, simply because the desire has been made known to god. they knew that faith obediently accepts god's commands and promises, expects to comply with the conditions of those commands and promises, and, so complying, expects to receive the results of such obedience at such times and in such ways as god appoints; all of which truths they found, and all of which may be found in the holy scriptures. thus living in the hopes of the gospel, realizing as much that their "home is in heaven" as that their "rest is not here," they have, through the years, performed the daily duties of their pilgrimage. the writer has known them for thirteen years, and gratefully testifies that their faith has strengthened her's, and that their cheerful hope in the lord has been a strong consolation to many who were in trouble. after the sudden death of the youngest son of the family, in , the care of the family devolved entirely upon the two daughters, mrs. h.j. furlong and miss addie s. jordan. in april, , mrs. jordan fell and badly fractured her hip. she was then seventy-seven years old. on account of her age she could not well be etherized, nor endure the repeated necessary resetting of the bones, and consequently they grew together irregularly. her hip-joint was stiff, so that she was never able to walk without the support of a cane or crutch. for eight years she could not leave her own little yard, nor climb into a carriage, nor walk without support. through this misfortune her afflictions grew worse. in january, , she fell and broke one bone and dislocated another in the left wrist. notwithstanding all that medical help could do, the shock brought on a severe sickness, and when, after eight weeks, she left her bed to move around feebly, she had almost lost her sight and hearing, her hand was useless, and her mind greatly impaired. on her birthday, june , , when she was eighty-five years old, she greatly mourned that she had outlived her usefulness; that she could no longer feed herself, nor read her bible, nor remember the desirable subjects for her prayers, and she hoped that she should not linger here long in such a helpless and useless condition. during the latter part of this time the two daughters were sick, mrs. furlong with paralysis and miss jordan with consumption. in the latter part of miss jordan, then in feeble health, was needed at home to attend the father's last sickness, and mrs. furlong was left to conduct their business alone. 'the extraordinary exertion brought on paralysis. it began in her right arm, which became so insensible that the strongest ammonia produced no sensation or apparent effect. gradually her whole right side lost power, her foot dragged, and though she did manage to move about, she was comparatively helpless. physicians spoke not hopefully; and protracted rest was recommended as a _possible_ relief. she planned to take electric treatment, though not very hopeful about the result. she failed once to meet her physician, and while planning the second time to take the treatment, and considering christ's miracles of healing, and the bible's promises to the sick, and having a feeling that possibly she might be doing wrong in not relying entirely on the lord, who had hitherto so much helped them, she delayed a little, and failed again to meet the appointment. it was a saturday evening in january, . she went home and sat down that evening alone, in the dining-room, depressed. the enfeebled family--the aged crippled mother, the sick sister and her own young son--had retired. as she thought the subject through, she became convinced that it was not good to spend time and money in the way proposed. instantly the words the saviour filled her soul with indescribable hope, and as she thought of his miracles, and how _the same jesus_, on earth, healed paralyzed ones, the hope grew that he would heal her. with the well hand she stretched out her paralyzed hand on the table and said: "dear lord, will you heal me?" like an electric shock the life began to move in her arm, and the continued sensation was as though something that, previously, had not moved was set in motion. the feeling passed up to the head, and down the body to the foot. _she was healed! and she was grateful!_ she did not speak of her experience to the family, but retired. she rose early the next morning, and awoke her son,--a prayerful, dutiful young man,--and said to him, "i'm going to church, to-day." he replied, "then i'll get up and go with you," expecting that she must ride. her soul was solemnly full that day of the felt presence of the holy spirit, and she did not like to talk. her son watched her movements, astonished. she went to the church, took a class again in sunday school, and; in going back and forth to church that day and evening, walked about sixty blocks without weariness. we are not permitted, here, to draw aside the curtain, to dwell upon the surprises and the grateful joy of that ever-to-be-remembered, sacred day. a few days after this healing, she, with a consciousness that she was running a risk, lifted a heavy weight, and a numbness returned. she confessed the sin to the lord, and asked him that, when she had been sufficiently chastened, he would take the trouble away. gradually, within two days, it disappeared, and has never returned. at the time when mrs. furlong was healed, in answer to prayer, miss. jordan's case was considered hopeless. her lungs had been diseased since . in november, , her physician had decided that tubercles had formed in the left lung, and that the right lung was much congested and hardened. in she had many hemorrhages, and gradually grew worse, so that she could not use her left arm or shoulder without producing hemorrhage. mrs. furlong, soon after her own healing, received a comforting assurance from the lord that her sister would be healed; but miss jordan, herself, had not that assurance. at this time she took little or no medicines, the physicians and the family having no confidence in their curative effect; but, on the st of january, , she had so many chills and hemorrhages, that they sent for the family physician to aid in checking, if possible, the severe attack. during this apparently rapid descent deathward, mrs. furlong continued to repeat to the family and to the physicians that the lord would heal her sister. miss jordan was one day so low that she could just be aroused to take her medicine. as mrs. furlong went to give it, miss jordan said to her, "do you want to throw that medicine away?" mrs. furlong said "yes," and threw it away. six hours of united waiting upon the lord followed. they were hours of pain. from nine in the morning till three in the afternoon she suffered indescribable pain. a few minutes after three, the pain left her, and with a bright look she said, "i believe i'm better." she wanted to rise and dress, but mrs. furlong advised her to rest through the night. she said she had not, in five years, been so free from weariness and pain. the aged mother was sick in bed with that broken wrist, and mrs. furlong feared that her sister's improved condition would shock and perplex her. miss jordan lay on the lounge the most of the time for two days. one of her expressions was, "it's perfect bliss to lie here free from pain." her breathing became perfectly natural, and very soon the great hollow place in the upper part of the chest, over the left lung, filled out. shortly before her healing she only weighed eighty pounds; but a few months after her weight had increased to one hundred and twenty pounds. she progressed in health rapidly, and on the second sunday after the healing came she attended church. the feeble mother was most sensitively anxious lest her daughter should pursue some unwarrantable course which should lead to relapse. miss jordan's health steadily improved, but it was several months before a cough entirely left her. you may be sure that doubters made the most of that cough! _but it left her!_ at one time she brought on a slight relapse by giving lessons in crayon drawing. she came to the conclusion that the lord had other work for her to do: and at this writing, september, , having prayerfully and watchfully followed the leadings of the lord, is a missionary among the freedmen of the south, and is strong in health and in faith, "giving glory to god." one of the aged mother's perplexities was that the lord should want her to live on in such a helpless and useless condition, while her daughters, who might be so useful, must die; but oh, how successful she had by precept and example taught those daughters that "he hath done all things well!" how patiently she suffered whatever she thought was the lord's will! how sweet was her constant thanksgiving! said a pious christian neighbor, whose poor health restricted her attendance at church, "when i'm hungry for a blessing i go down to see old lady jordan." after eight painful weeks, she so far recovered from the sickness consequent on the broken and dislocated wrist as to move around feebly, but sight and hearing were almost gone. her leg was stiff, her hand stiff, her wrist deformed, and her mind greatly impaired. miss jordan became very hopeful, and received strong assurance, in answer to prayer, that her mother might be healed. mrs. furlong received no assurance whatever in her mother's case. there was a great deal of talking and praying about it, in the family, and finally mrs. jordan humbly claimed the lord's help, beseeching him that since he had recorded that he would make the blind to see, the lame to walk, and the deaf to hear, if it was his will he would heal her. this was the night of june th, . in the morning miss jordan was so hopeful that she rose early, and attentively listened to the movements in her mother's room. she called the little family's attention to them, saying, "just listen to her;" and as, holding on by the banister, the aged mother came with her accustomed slow movements down to the dining room, miss jordan said, to them, "now, watch her." according to the long habit of eight years, she began to reach out for her cane, unconscious that she had been walking around her room with new freedom. miss jordan went toward her and said, "mother, do you want your cane?" and, wondering, the old lady walked freely into the dining room. they gathered around her, and said, "are you not healed, mother?" and she began to think _she was_, and sat down in her chair by the table. could she move her hand? the doubled-up thumb, and straight, stiff finger, were _perfectly free_ and as _limber as ever_, and the stiff wrist joint _moved with perfect freedom!_ she _heard as well as anybody!_ could she see? she went up-stairs to her bible, whose blurred, dim pages she had thought closed to her forever, and _she could read as well as ever_, and without glasses! she could thread the finest needle. could she kneel and thank the lord? she had not knelt for eight years. yes, she could kneel as well as when she served the lord in her youth! christian reader, stop here and think what a joyful family that was that june morning. that aged saint, of a little more than years, was in good health again! and her two daughters had been snatched from the jaws of death! what a triumph of blessed memories to leave in legacy to that young, hopeful, christian son, who, in childhood, had himself repeatedly proved that the lord hears and answers prayer! mrs. jordan has never used cane or crutch since that morning. she has frequently walked five blocks, to go to her church; and, a few weeks after her healing, she one day walked the distance of about fifteen blocks. she has walked for hours in lincoln park, among the plants and flowers, and she goes up and down stairs, and wherever she likes, as well as anyone. she has the use of her faculties, and an altogether comfortable use of her sight, though that is not so acute as at first. her earliest joy was that she was permitted to see that the lord had some purpose in sparing her so long. dear christian reader, shall the wonderful manifestation of that "purpose" strengthen your faith? it helps me. "is anything too hard for the lord?" "no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." "if ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him." "if we live by the spirit, let us also walk by the spirit." in the hopes of the gospel, miss e. dryer. madison st., chicago. almost a bankrupt. a prominent christian had just entered a merchant's counting-room, when the head man of the place said to him, "let us kneel and ask god to help me through, for without his help, i shall be a bankrupt before the setting of the sun." so they knelt and prayed. that man went through the pressure, and did not become a bankrupt. "he could not flee from the power of the holy spirit." a clergyman of distinction gives this instance of the worthlessness of all attempts to flee from the power of the spirit. "i looked out of my window one morning, while it was yet dark, and saw a lady standing at my gate, leaning against a post, and evidently weeping bitterly. i knew her. she was a member of the church, and was an earnest, consistent christian. she was married to one of the most bitter universalists i ever knew. i stepped down the steps to her, and asked, 'what is the matter?' she replied, 'oh, my poor husband! i had so hoped and prayed that he might be converted in this revival! and now he has rode away, and says that _he will not come back till this religious flurry is over_. what shall i do to bear up under this?' "i said, 'it is near the time for prayer. we will go and lay his case before the lord, and make _special request_ that god will bring him back again under the power of the spirit. the lord can bring him home, and i believe he will do it. we must pray for him.' "she dried her tears in a moment, and seemed to seize hold of this 'strong hope,' as we walked to the place of prayer. we found the room crowded. it fell to my lot to lead the meeting. "at the opening, i stated the case of this universalist husband, who had undertaken to run away from the influence of the spirit, by fleeing into the country. i said that we must all pray _that the holy spirit may follow him, overtake him, and bring him back again_, show him his sins, and lead him to jesus. "the meeting took up the case with great earnestness, and i could not but feel that prayer would in some way be answered. "_but can you imagine our surprise when, at our evening prayer meeting, this same universalist came in_? "after standing a few minutes, till the opportunity offered, he said: "'i went away on horseback this morning, and told my wife i was going into the country to stay till this flurry was over. i rode right over the hills, back from the river, into the country, till i had got eighteen miles away. _there, on the top of a hill, i was stopped as paul was, and just as suddenly_, and made to feel what a horrible sinner i am. i am one of the worst sinners that ever lived. _i have lost my universalism_, and i know i must be born again, or i can never see the kingdom of heaven. oh, pray for me that i may be converted; nothing else will do for me.' "he took his seat amid the tears and sobs of the whole assembly. the hour was full of prayer for that man's conversion. "this strong and intelligent man, once one of the bitterest universalists i ever knew, is now an elder in a presbyterian church, and one of the most joyous, happy, energetic men of god you will meet in many a day. he believes he was 'converted on the spot in that prayer meeting.'" life brought back again in the midst of death. the following instance, when _death itself was made to give back the life it claimed_, is personally known to us to be true: a mother, in this city, sent a request for prayer to the fulton street prayer-meeting, asking the lord for the recovery of her daughter, who was sinking rapidly, and who she felt was almost dying. her husband, an eminent physician, and others, also, the most skilled physicians of the city, gave up the case as hopeless. the mother felt that now none but god could or would help; that in the fulton street prayer-meeting were sympathizing friends, and to it sent her request. she came to the meeting herself, to join in their prayers and testify her faith. the moments of the meeting passed on. one request after another was read, but hers was not touched. she was sadly disappointed. her child was so weak and almost dying, it could not live the day through, perhaps. the time was within a few minutes, less than three, of the close of the meeting. she, at last, with faltering steps and palpitating heart, pressed her way to the desk and asked if her request was there. upon search, it was found that it had been overlooked. _too late_, said the leader, to _read it to-day_. see, the clock is at its last moment; but it shall be read first thing at o'clock, to-morrow, and special prayer shall be offered immediately. with what heavy heart the mother went away, back to the chamber of the dying one, none can ever know. all night the waiting ones watched, with their ceaseless attentions and silent prayers. _a few minutes before_ _o'clock the body sank, the eyes closed, pallor came over the features, the spirit seemed gone_, and _all was still; not a breath, not a motion--death had come_. the mother had taken her watch, hung it on the pillow of the bed, and with streaming eyes, yet ceaseless prayer, they watched the slow finger move to o'clock. at precisely twelve, all joined in prayer, lifting their hearts to god. _at fifteen minutes past twelve, the daughter opened her eyes_, saying, "mother, _i feel better_," then sank into sleep, _breathing steadily_; after three hours awoke to consciousness and sat up in bed, and before night was able to walk the floor of her chamber. prayer brought that life back, even when death had taken it. _at the very moment when that precious prayer was offered in the meeting, the lord came and touched the dying one, and gave it new life._ the mother's faith and prayer was honored, and the lord remembered his promise, "_if ye believe, ye shall see the glory of god."_ the same lord who raised lazarus and bade him come forth, also came and bade this precious life come back again to earth. saved from the hands of a desperado. the following circumstance is communicated to us by a united states surgeon: "after the close of the mexican war, and in the year , a train was sent out from san antonio to establish military posts on the upper rio grande, particularly at el paso. i was surgeon of the quartermaster's department, numbering about four hundred men. while the train was making up, the cholera prevailed in camp, for about six weeks, at first with terrible severity. on the st of june it had so far subsided that we took up the line of march. after about four days out from san antonio, the health of the men became very good, and continued so through the whole route, with the exception of occasional cases of prostration from heat, and slight fevers, the summer being unusually hot. one evening in july, after coming into camp, i received a call to see a man who had been taken sick on the march. i found him lying under his wagon. the wagon was loaded with bacon, in bulk about two tons. the heat with the pressure had caused it to drip freely. i asked him to come from under the wagon, that i might examine his case and prescribe, for him. this he refused to do; but demanded that i should crawl under the wagon to him, which i, of course, would not consent to do. no persuasion could induce him to change his position in the least. becoming satisfied that he was not much, if at all sick, i left him. his profanity, threats and imprecations were fearful. perhaps it would be well to give a short sketch of his life for the three years previous, as i learned it from men who knew him, and had been with him for considerable portion of that period. he went to mexico, at the beginning of the war, a soldier in the regular army. when his term of service expired, he was discharged, and sought employment in the quartermaster's department, as a teamster. he had the reputation of being a thief, a robber and an assassin. in a few months he was ignominiously discharged from the service, and, at the close of the war, he came to texas, and sought and obtained employment as teamster in the train then organizing for el paso. but, to return to my narrative. on the morning after the occurrence at the wagon, a teamster came to me and said, in a hasty and abrupt manner, 'doctor, mc will kill you to-day or to-night. he is full of rage, and muttering terrible threats. he was out very early this morning and emptied his six-shooter, and came in and reloaded it and put it in first-rate order.' i said, 'mc, what's up now?' he replied, 'i will kill that d----d old doctor to-day or to-night;' and he will do it. i have known him make threats before, and have never known him fail to execute them. but i must go; he must not know that i have seen you.' knowing the man, i realized the danger, and felt that i was powerless, either to resist or avoid it. i retired within my tent and closed it up. i prostrated myself before him who is able to save. i prayed for deliverance from the hands of the cruel and blood-thirsty man, and that i might not be left in the power of him who was my enemy without cause. i submitted my cause into the hands of him who doeth all things well, and prayed for entire submission to his will. my anxiety subsided; my fear was removed, and i commenced the duties of the day with usual cheerfulness. "soon after this, the camp broke and we were on the march. i fell back with the officers of the rear guard, and the excitement of the morning was soon forgotten. about o'clock, a courier came back in haste, for me to see a man who had been thrown from his mule and crushed under the wheels of his wagon. he did not know who the man was--he was about half or three-quarters of a mile ahead. the thought then occurred to me, i shall probably have to pass mc's team. i will ride square up with the courier, and keep him between myself and the train. when we came to the spot i inquired who the man was, for he was so mutilated i could not recognize him. _it was mc. god was there_. awe and terror took hold upon me. i was dumb with amazement. "mc had dismounted and walked some fifty rods by the side of his team. attempting to remount, his mule whirled and pitched, and he was thrown upon his back, and his team with fourteen others instantly stampeded. both the fore and hind wheels on the near side of his wagon, passed directly over his face, and crushed every bone in his head. it was a fearful sight; not a feature of the human face could be discerned. "the stampeded teams were flying wildly over the prairie, in spite of every effort of the teamsters to control them. "i directed the head of the corpse to be inserted in some new, thick sacks, in such a way as to prevent the oozing of blood, and that it be wrapped in his blanket and taken to the next camp for burial. when the stampeded teams came in, it was found that no other person was injured, nor any damage done. "the philosopher may tell us of the reign of law; of the coincidence of circumstances; of the action of natural causes; but, to the christian, the fact still remains--prayer was answered. god heareth his people when they cry unto him." the prayer of a missionary in mexico answered.--saved from banditti. "in the spring of , i was, with my wife and child, in the city of cadereita, mexico, where we had been laboring as missionaries, but felt it was our duty to return to the states for a little season, and had been asking god to open up the way for us. at length, about the middle of march, the opportunity appeared to be given, the means being provided; but the country was in a state of revolution (a no uncommon thing there), and, consequently, there were no stages running out of the country, so we had to take conveyance in mexican carts. therefore, we engaged two men, with their carts; one in which we might ride and carry a mattress, which should serve as a bed at night, and the other, to carry the baggage and provisions for ourselves and the horses, as our way was mostly through an uncultivated country. "we knew that general cortinas, with his troops, was somewhere between us and texas, as the state we were in was one of those in rebellion. the blood-thirsty character of general cortinas is well known on the frontier, there being no less than seventeen indictments against him for murder in the state of texas. he is regarded as having a special hatred against americans, and the mexicans, themselves, stand in terror of him. "our friends and brethren in cadereita tried hard to deter us from going, as most likely we would fall into the hands of general cortinas; in which event, they said, the very utmost we could expect would be to escape with our lives, being left destitute of everything, in a wilderness road; but, as god had seemed to open up the way, providing the means, we determined to go forward, trusting that he also would protect us in the way. therefore, having completed our arrangements, we started for matamoras, some three hundred miles distant, on the th of march, the wives of the two men accompanying their husbands, making our party six adults and one child; the brethren in cadereita promising to pray daily for our safety. the third morning, after commending ourselves, as usual, into the care of our covenant-keeping god, we started on our journey. some two hours later, we espied the troops of general cortinas, about two miles distant, marching toward us. we again all looked to god for protection, and prayed that, as he shut the mouths of the lions, that they should not hurt his servant daniel, so he would now restrain the evil passions of men, that they might not hurt nor injure us--then we went on till we met the advance guard, who commanded us to halt and wait till the general came up. after nearly half an hour, general cortinas, with his escort, rode up to where we were waiting for him. after the ordinary salutation, he asked: (_¿de adonde vienen y adonde van?_) 'from whence have you come, and where are you going?'--to which we replied properly; then he asked: 'what is the news from nueva leon?' (the state we left)--to which we replied as faithfully as we could. then i asked him, 'is the road safe between us and matamoras?' he replied: 'perfectly; you can go on without any fear, and as safely as you would in your own country.' then, bidding us 'good morning,' he rode on, not even inquiring about or examining any of our baggage. "when we arrived in brownsville, texas, and told of how gentlemanly general cortinas had treated us, all pronounced it wonderful, and said, 'we could not have believed general cortinas capable of such kindness to americans so in his power. it was truly a miracle.' we believed that it was god who restrained the naturally vicious passions of the man, in direct answer to prayer." an infidel's life spared a few days. "during the summer of , i became acquainted with a mr. a----, who professed infidelity, and who was, i think, as near an atheist as any i ever met. i held several conversations with him on the subject of religion, but could not seem to make any impression on his mind, and, when a point was pressed strongly, he would become angry. "in the fall, he was taken ill, and seemed to go into a rapid decline. i, with others, sought kindly and prayerfully to turn his mind to his need of a saviour, but only met with rebuffs. as i saw that his end was drawing near, one day i pressed the importance of preparing to meet god, when he became angry and said i need not trouble myself any more about his soul, as there was no god, the bible was a fable, and when we die that is the last of us, and was unwilling that i should pray with him. i left him, feeling very sad. "some four weeks after, on new year's morning, i awoke with the impression that i should go and see mr. a----, and i could not get rid of that impression; so, about nine o'clock, i went to see him, and, as i approached the house, i saw the two doctors, who had been holding a consultation, leaving. when i rang the bell, his sister-in-law opened the door for me, and exclaimed, 'oh! i am so glad you have come; john is dying. the doctors say he cannot possibly live above two hours, and probably not one.' when i went up to his room, he sat bolstered up in a chair, and appeared to have fallen into a doze. i sat down, about five feet from him, and when, in about two minutes, he opened his eyes and saw me, he started up, with agony pictured on his face and in the tones of his voice, exclaimed, 'o! mr. p----, i am not prepared to die; there is a god; the bible is true! o, pray for me! pray god to spare me a few days, till i shall know i am saved.' "these words were uttered with the intensest emotion, while his whole physical frame quivered through the intense agony of his soul. i replied in effect, that jesus was a great saviour, able and willing to save all who would come unto him, even at the eleventh hour, as he did the thief on the cross. "when i was about to pray with him, he again entreated me to pray especially that god would spare him a few days, till he might have the evidences of his salvation. in prayer, i seemed to have great assurance of his salvation, and asked god to give us the evidence of his salvation, by granting him a few days more in this world. several others joined in praying god to spare him a few days, till he should give evidence of being saved. "i called again in the evening; he seemed even stronger than in the morning, and his mind was seeking the truth. the next day, as i entered, his face expressed the fact that peace and joy had taken the place of fear and anxiety. he was spared some five days, giving very clear evidence that he had passed from death to life. his case was a great mystery to the doctors. they could not understand how he lived so long; but his friends, who had been praying for him, all believed it was in direct answer to prayer." remarkable preservation from brain difficulties. "a few weeks ago, a man who had once been a member of my church, but had fallen from his steadfastness through strong drink, fell from a ladder, striking his head on the corner of a stone, which made a dent in the skull of over two and one-half inches in length, and three-fourths of an inch in width, and half an inch in depth. this happened on friday afternoon. at our prayer-meeting, in the evening, most earnest prayers were offered in his behalf; the brethren prayed that god would restore him his senses and spare him a few days, that he might repent of his back-sliding and be saved. "the surgeons raised the skull, and his senses were restored; his mind seemed clear. this continued over a week, when it was evident that there was still some pressure on the brain. the surgeons removed the skull, and found three pieces driven down into the brain. they expressed, from the first, no hope of his recovery; but wondered much at the clearness of his mind, which continued for over two weeks. we believed that it was in answer to the prayers of the church that he might have time and opportunity to repent and prepare to meet god, which we trust he did." little george's prayer. a clergyman writes us these incidents: "i knew a poor family whose son george, four or five years old, was accustomed to pray. they lived five or six miles from neighbors, and, at times, were quite destitute. one day, as little george observed his mother weeping over their destitution, he said, "why, mother, don't cry any; we shall not starve; god will send us something to eat, i know he will. i've just been praying, and asked him to." the little fellow just as much believed god would send them food, as if he had asked a reliable neighbor and obtained his promise to supply their wants. in a day or two after this, some friends living at a distance and knowing they were poor, took them the welcome surprise of a wagon-load of substantial material for food and other comforts. the little boy grew up to be a christian minister, and, about a year ago, on inquiry, his uncle told me he had been at the head of an institution of learning in the south-west." a prayer for a horse. "my horse died, and, after traveling through the snow-drifts to my appointments, till i was lame, half sick, and unfit for service--as i had not means to purchase a horse, i thought of quitting the work and going to teaching, and laid the matter before god, in prayer; soon after which, some person at a distance, who heard that i had lost my horse, without my saying a word about it, raised the means by which i procured another." a prayer for a wife. "when i believed it would be well for me to seek a companion for life, i asked of god direction in making a wise choice, and that, in a matter of so much importance to me and others, i might meet with success or _hindrance_, as my heavenly father knew best. he led me to a choice and marriage, which i have not since regretted." church troubles quelled. "i might mention a dozen instances in which church troubles were gathering, and trials between members appeared certain, when all my tactics failed, and the wisdom of brethren was of no avail; my last resort was to ask god to send help and deliver from the threatened evil--and in ways that no one could foresee, complete deliverance came." a minister's supplies fall short. "when very much in need of funds to procure supplies for a coming winter, all expedients failed; then i asked god for assistance, when, unexpectedly, a friend in california sent me a little package of gold dust, which i sold, at once, for $ . this came when it was needed, and it did us good." a prayer for a servant. "some time after, we failed to find anything like suitable help in the house, which we greatly needed. before starting out one morning, in secret i prayed to god to direct me as i went on my uncertain business, and prayed as i called at different places, and soon found a colored girl sixteen years old wanting a place, who came and proved to be the best help we ever had, before or since. for seven years and a half she lived in the family, taught two of our children to read; was glad, from choice, to move with us to different places, till she left to be married, fell sick and passed away. a dozen other times when driven in straits, _in answer to prayer_ god has enabled us to procure necessary help, which was difficult to obtain. "in , while on my way to see my mother in pennsylvania--who had just been paralyzed, and died the next week--i was suddenly paralyzed in my left arm, by which, i have since been helpless and useless. after coming here to live, being in want of a man to lift me in and out of bed, dress me, etc., for which we inquired of people, and prayed to god to send us the needed help. we had not means to hire and pay any person to do such work, even if he could be found. soon the right one came, in the person of a young german, who was tramping through the country in search of employment and food; was ready and glad to do any work for a living. for pay that satisfied him and us, he staid in the family over a year, working out doors and in; could be trusted to do business with money, and return every cent correctly. after being with us over a year, when we needed him no longer, he obtained a situation in a good family, where he is now living. in many instances, i have prayed to be healed of special sickness, always using what remedies i thought best, yet asking the divine blessing on their use." healing. "for over three years, i was troubled with frequent raising of blood from my right lung, which physicians failed to cure. of this i prayed to be relieved; after which, the soreness healed, and for several years it has ceased to trouble me." that $ . . a man who had led a very wicked life, was converted and hopefully saved. previous to this time, a debt of $ . had not given him the slightest thought. after receiving a new heart, he distinctly heard god's command, "pay what thou owest;" so called on his creditor, and urged him to send to his house and get a bureau, table and looking-glass, which he desired him to sell and pay himself the sum due him; but, not wishing to deprive his debtor of such necessary articles, refused, saying he would wait till he could pay. the th of november was set, and, as the day approached, the prospect was no brighter; and when the night of the th came around, he spent it in prayer that god would deliver him, and rose from his knees at daybreak, with the full assurance that "he knoweth how to deliver." on passing down a street the next morning, on his way to business, a man who kept a large store was standing in the door-way, and called to him to stop a minute. wondering what could be the nature of the call, he retraced his steps, to hear this astonishing news: "_for three days i have been impressed with the idea that i must give you_ $ . , _and for three days have been trying to ascertain why i must give you this amount, for i do not owe any man a penny_. i cannot get rid of the thought, and if you value my peace of mind, i beg you take the money!" seeing, instantly, the hand of god in it, he told the story to the astonished storekeeper, then left to pay his debt with the money so strangely given. his creditor, surprised to see him so promptly on time, questioned him as to the manner of obtaining it, thinking, perhaps, he had made a great sacrifice to do so. on being told just how it was given him, said, "_i won't take it; keep it. if god is as near to people as that, i don't want it; it seems as if it had come directly from his almighty hand_." the result was the conversion of both the storekeeper and creditor, to whom the incident came as the undoubted evidence of god's presence among them. god sent the bag of flour. in about the year , in central new york, there was a time of great scarcity of provisions. grain was very high, and difficult to be obtained at any price; and, of course, families of limited means were very much straitened. in one family, the wife and mother of six children, a godly woman, worked at her trade (tailoress) to the extent of her ability, and prayed earnestly that god would deliver them from pressing want. husband and children all knew of their need, and of the fervent prayers of the wife and mother for their supply; but no one knew by what means the supply was to come. every day, as their scanty means were being consumed, the prospect grew darker. on the farm was a large quantity of pine timber. four miles from there, in the next town, lived a man who needed some shingles; and, casting about him to see where he should obtain a supply, thought he would go and purchase a pine tree, and himself and man go into the woods and work it up into shingles. as he was about starting, the thought occurred to him, "perhaps they may be in want of wheat flour--a bag cannot come amiss in this time of scarcity." so, putting two bushels in a bag, he proceeded to the next town, entered the house, and made known his errand, saying, "i have brought along two bushels of flour towards paying for the tree, thinking you might be in want of it in this time of scarcity, and i knew you live six or seven miles from the mill, and have no horse." "that is in answer to prayer," said the noble woman; and the husband believed it, though not a praying man. when, at night, the oldest son came in, the mother said to him, "god has answered our prayers, and sent a bag of flour." it is believed that, while this was not miraculous, it was as directly the interposition of god, as feeding elijah by the ravens; and it was in direct answer to prayer for that special blessing." incidents from the experience of a city missionary.--a prayer for supper answered. an educated, accomplished lady, reduced to the very lowest round of poverty's ladder, whom we shall call mrs. x----, bears unfailing testimony to god's hearing and answering the prayer of faith. the daughter came up-stairs one day to announce the utter emptiness of the larder. there was not even a piece of dry bread, nor a drawing of tea; not a potato, nor a bean; and "charles, poor fellow, will come home from his work at six, tired and so hungry; what _shall_ we do, mother?" "the lord will send us something, before he comes," said mrs. x----. so, for three hours more the daughter waited. "mother, it is five o'clock, and the lord has not sent us anything." "he will, my dear, before half-past six;" and the widow went in an adjoining room, to ask that her daughter might not feel it vain to call upon god. in fifteen minutes, the door-bell rang violently, and a gentleman, valise in hand, said, "mrs. x----, i left the room which i hired of you one year ago, in a great hurry, you will remember; and i owed you five dollars. i have not been in the city since, and am rushing out of it again--jumped off the car just to give you this money. good-bye." relief from a creditor's demands. "at another time, being sorely pressed by a heartless creditor, and almost beside herself, she concluded to walk out and get free from the insupportable burden, by change of air and scene for two or three hours. passing the house of a friend, just returned from europe, she called for a few moments, and was presented with a small and peculiar plant, brought from wales. all the way home she was asking the lord to release her from this relentless creditor, and all the way home a man, without her knowledge, was following her. arrived at her own stoop, he suddenly confronted her, bowed, apologized for the liberty, but said he had not had a sight of that dear old plant since he left home; and if she would sell it to him, he would gladly give her ten dollars for it. as that was half the sum for which she was persecuted, and would probably relieve her from annoyance until she could raise the balance, she accepted the offer." two hundred dollars needed and given at the last moment. "at the time of her husband's death, there were _two hundred dollars_ due an institute, for board and tuition of their two little boys. his death was the flood-gate opened, which let in a successive torrent of perplexities, losses, dilemmas, delays, law-suits, etc. she had not been able to pay that bill; the principal was importunate, persevering, bitter, and, at last, abusive. she cried to the lord for a week, day and night, almost without ceasing. then, a gentleman whom she had taken to her own house and carefully nursed through a dangerous illness, three years before, called to say good-bye. he was on his way to a bremen steamer, and all other adieus were said, all his baggage on board, except the valise in his hand. might her boy ride down to the wharf and see him off? of course she was glad to consent. when her son returned he brought back a letter, which opened, she found to contain _two hundred dollars_ and the words, 'not that money can ever express my gratitude, but the enclosed may be useful for gas-bills or some other little household matter.'" how the lord repaid a generous gift. "some gentlemen, urged to contribute to a most worthy cause, said, 'go first to mr. z.--whatever he gives, we will.' mr. z., upon application, concluded to make his neighbors do something worth while, and, as he was expecting a thousand dollars in a very few days, subscribed the whole of that. upon the arrival of the vessel which was to pay his subscription, he found the difference in exchange between certain countries, had swelled his thousand dollars to _twenty-two hundred_." the astonished giver. "a gentleman, not marching in the ranks of 'cheerful givers,' was urged to bestow five dollars toward the 'fresh air fund.' 'he could not; business wretched; poor enough himself,' and all the well known line of excuses. the friend assured him, if the lord did not more than make it up to him, before the end of the week, he himself would return the money. to those terms he agreed, quite sure he should call on saturday and get back the $ . but, the very next morning, he ran to the office of his friend to say that an old debt, given up long ago, and for which he would have taken one hundred dollars any moment, was paid him about an hour after the friend left his store. so astonished was he, that he even doubted the check, which was for _five thousand dollars,_ and sent it to the bank to test its genuineness before he would give a receipt for it!" all saved. in a dismal basement, a. found a very interesting american family. the father, in the last stage of consumption; a little girl of ten years, an invalid from infancy. the mother and two daughters, both under fifteen, were out all day at work, trying to keep even such a wretched shelter, and a little coarse food, as daily supplies. the three together could not make over four dollars a week. the only person to wait on the two sick ones during the day, was a little boy four years of age, who, when the missionary entered, was reclining upon the bed. but he started up, put more coal on the fire, and brought a drink of water, first to his sister, then his father; without any bidding, and with the consideration of a grown person. on a.'s next visit, a few days after, he found the mother at home, grief-stricken. her eldest daughter had been taken ill the day previous. he gave her all the money he had, prayed with them, and sent at once a kind, assiduous physician. in a few weeks the daughter died, but not without a good hope in christ; and was buried at the expense of the few kind friends whom a. had sent to see the family. the dying daughter exhorted her dying father to seek his soul's eternal welfare, and not boast, as heretofore, of his life-long morality. her conversations led him to see his danger out of christ, and, in a little while after his daughter's departure, he followed. the mother had not before had a sure christian hope; but, amidst such influences, her heart was soon opened to admit the truth. not long after her bereavement she began having a "cottage prayer-meeting" in her room, and united with an evangelical church. she immediately became anxious for the conversion of her two boys, who were away, and urged the missionary to write them. he did so, frequently, and his heaven-directed appeals led one of the boys very soon to christ. soon after, he died; the brother returned home with consumption. he took great pleasure in the little prayer-meetings, and in three months cheerfully and exultantly exchanged this world of suffering for the one where father, brother and sister awaited him. worn out with anxiety, care, hard work and poor health, the mother followed; leaving the invalid girl and youngest boy; who are watched over, not only by their friend in heaven, but friends on earth. the eldest surviving daughter is an esteemed and consistent member of a church of christ. "the lord woke me up in time to save my clothes." in the very top of a four-story building, used only for various manufacturing purposes, lived an old man and daughter. they lived literally _by faith in christ_, from _day_ to _day_; one hour at a time. at his voice, followed him, whether into darkness or light. neither took a step but as they held his hand. a lady calling one day, said, "oh! jennie, i thought of your large wash hanging on the roof, last night, when the drenching rain came; and i was so sorry to think you would have your hard work all over again!" "_oh! no ma'am. the lord woke me up out of a sound sleep, just as the first few drops fell_! i hastened up and brought them all down nice and dry, and had only got to the foot of the stairs with the last armful, when it poured down. now that was the lord, ma'am, for there was not a single noise of any kind to waken me, and i was sound asleep!" the lord takes away the custom of a liquor saloon. at one time, the landlord rented the ground floor to a liquor seller. the loafers going in and out, especially on sunday, were a great grief to jennie and her saintly old father. they concluded to take it to the lord together, and, said the old man, "he will be sure to attend to it; i have been young, and now am old, and i have never known him fail me--he _never_ does." _in three weeks after, the dram-seller closed his place for want of patronage_. help in time of need. a poor, humble christian woman had a claim on some property in a neighboring state. it was in law, and she was summoned to attend court at a certain time. having scarcely money enough for her daily bread, she was obliged to borrow the means to take her there, and pay some cheap board while awaiting the conclusion of the trial. she was positively assured by the lawyers, that she would receive several hundred dollars. she was detained five weeks, instead of one, as she expected, and then the suit was postponed till fall. she was in agony of mind; in a strange place--owing for board and washing, and no money to take her to her home. having spent a whole night pacing the floor and calling on the lord to redeem his promises, she felt the fresh air would do her good, and sadly took her way down a side street. she had gone but three blocks when she found a diamond ring. being accustomed to the ownership of diamonds in her younger days, she knew very nearly its value; took it home, watched the principal papers, and the same evening saw a reward of seventy-five dollars offered for it. we can imagine that joy lent wings to her feet, and thanksgiving filled her whole heart. the sum was sufficient to pay her bills, bring her back and return a portion of the borrowed money. cast out into the street, yet not forsaken. a piteous wail was heard on the street one day, and a poor scotchman crossed over to see the trouble. a widow and three children sat on their few articles of household furniture. put in the street, when they could no longer find five dollars for the rent of the kennel in which, for six months, they had not lived, but existed. he had just received five dollars for a piece of work, and was hurrying home with it to his sick wife, crippled mother and two children. he thought of the piece of meat--a long untasted luxury--he meant to buy; of the tea his mother so much craved, and hesitated. could he give these up? but the streaming eyes of the children, and the mute despair on the face of the mother, took down the scale. he ran several blocks and found an empty basement; hired it for four dollars; enlisted the sympathy and help of a colored boy to carry the furniture; put up the stove, bought a bundle of wood, pail of coal, and some provisions with the other dollar; held a little prayer-meeting on the spot, and left with the benedictions of the distressed ones filling his ears. the recital of his adventure obliterated for the time all sense of their own desires, and they thanked god together that their loss had been the widow's gain. the next morning, while taking their frugal meal, a tea dealer, for whom this man had frequently put up shelves, came to say he was short-handed, and if the scotchman was not very busy, he would give him a regular position in his establishment, at a better salary than he could hope to earn. meanwhile, hearing his wife was sick, he had brought her a couple pounds prime tea, and it occurred to him that venison steaks were a little out of the ordinary run of meat, and, as he had a quantity at home, he brought a couple. thus the lord answered the prayer of the poor, and repaid the generous giver who sacrificed his money for the lord. a persecutor punished by the lord. a most devout, hard-working and poorly paid man, was the object of constant persecution by a cross-grained, ugly, infidel neighbor. for three years the thing went on, till the christian thought he must remove from the place. he could not do it without breaking up his humble home, for which he had worked night and day. he and his wife were in deep distress; told their plans to the lord; asked him to direct them to another home, and then went to a newspaper office to advertise their little place for sale. the editor was out, and they preferred to see him--would return home and call again to-morrow. the next morning the infidel was found dead in his bed, from a stroke of apoplexy. how god answered my prayer for $ . "suffice it, then, i was in debt. i was owing the large sum (large for a poor home missionary) of $ . . expecting soon to be called upon for the payment of it, and not seeing any way to meet it, _i went to the lord with it_. early in life i had made this resolution: that no man whom i was _owing_ should ever ask me for money, and i not pay him; but now, i could see no way out; and if, as i expected, it should be demanded, i was not in a condition to meet it. such was my condition when, on a certain day, the demand came. i took the letter from the office at noon. what now was to be done? again i took the case to the lord, and asked him to help me pay it, so that my word need not fail, or _his cause suffer reproach._ i first determined to pay a part; but, as no letter could be sent out that day, i awaited the results of the day following. from the northern mail, which first arrived, i took a letter containing an unexpected draft of $ to my wife, from parties whom we did not know, and had never seen, nor they us. within twenty minutes more i was presented with a _surprise_ of $ , from a people where i had preached for the six months past. here was my $ , and, before the mail went out, i had my letter written and in the mail. both were as unexpected as if they had come from heaven direct." from wealth, to poverty. a lady of superior culture and refinement, fell from opulence to extreme poverty, within four years. no less ready when at the bottom of fortune's ladder, than at the top, to do good as she had opportunity, she paid another poor woman's way to a neighboring state, where employment awaited her, and did it literally with her _last_ dollar-and a-half! supposing herself the possessor of a ten cent note, over and above the twelve shillings, she went with her somewhat feeble protege over jersey city ferry, and saw her safely in the cars. starting back, she was dismayed to find no ten cents in her pocket-book, and, all too late, remembered having paid it for a quart of milk that morning; the sole breakfast of herself and daughter. night was approaching--what to do she did not know. she had a plain, worn, old gold ring on her finger; she took it off, offered it to the ferry-master, who would not take it, though she told him she found her money gone and would redeem it next day. she went back in the ladies' room and told it to the lord, beseeching his assistance. just then, a girl passing, jostled against her and knocked down her parasol. she picked it up, happened to turn it upside down, and out rolled a _five-cent nickel!_ the lord, then, hears prayer for even _five cents_ to provide for the comfort and need of those whom he loves. a prayer for fifty dollars. a clergyman writes _the christian_ as follows: "the winter of i spent in missionary work, carrying the glad tidings of the kingdom of god into new fields in the 'regions beyond.' with my devoted wife, i labored ardently for the salvation of men 'from the wrath to come.' we were full of comfort to be thus engaged, though without pledge from man for support, or promised salary for preaching. "in spite of our rigid economy, i had contracted some debts for the necessaries of life. i have since learned to go without what the lord does not provide means to pay for at once. i needed the money to pay the debts, and felt impressed to pray for fifty dollars. i said to my wife: '_i am going to pray for fifty dollars_.' 'well,' said she, 'i will join you;' and we bowed before god and told him our needs, and unitedly asked him for fifty dollars; so that we might not bring ourselves or the truth we preached, into reproach, by being unable to pay debts. we were agreed in asking, and thus claiming the promise: 'if two of you shall agree as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven.' (matt, xviii. ). we had the assurance that money would come; but from whence we did not know, nor care, for we knew the 'silver and gold' are the lord's, as well as the 'cattle upon a thousand hills,' and he could easily cause some one to give or send us the money. "we felt full of peace; for we knew it was for god's glory to answer that prayer. no one outside of the family knew we were praying for money. we did not go around among our friends and tell them we were praying for fifty dollars, in hopes that they would take it upon themselves to answer the prayer. we told none but the god whom we serve. "some little time passed, and no money came, but we did not lose our faith or assurance. one morning, at family prayer, i was led out to pray that we might see the lord's working in our behalf that day, and i rose from my knees with perfect confidence that our hearts would be made to rejoice in god that day. when i came in to my dinner i asked my wife if any one had brought our mail from the post-office. she said, 'yes, there are some papers on your table.' 'what!' said i, with surprise, 'no letters?' i saw a peculiar expression on her countenance, and i asked no more questions, but sat down to the dinner table and turned over my plate, and there saw a letter she had put beneath it; and as soon as i saw the hand-writing i felt, there is money in this, though, of all sources, this was from the one least expected. i opened the letter, and there was a draft for _fifty dollars, 'a gift to aid in preaching the gospel.'_ if i ever recognized the hand of god in anything, i did in this; and if there was ever a time of devout thanksgiving to god, and a humbling of self before him in my house, it was that day. since then, it has been easier to trust in him than before. he has said, 'i will never leave thee nor forsake thee.' he has also said, through his apostles, 'be careful for nothing; but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto god.'" concurrent testimony of the value of prayer. a request was published by the _illustrated christian weekly,_ asking that all who could report positive facts as direct results of prayer, and thus, tend to show that _"god does answer prayer,"_ should communicate them. very many were communicated, regarding all trials and troubles of the heart, and daily temporal or spiritual life. no one can question they are authentic to the highest degree; they should silence the skeptic, and convince the worldly of the presence of the mysterious power and wonderful spirit of god, which tempers the hearts and lives of men and controls them as he wills. a worldly man surrenders. a clergyman says, "i was very anxious for the building of a mission chapel to accommodate a flourishing mission-school that had been organized under my pastorate. knowing that a certain physician of the city was possessed of abundant means and had a praying christian mother, though he had long since given up going to church, i resolved to call upon him. before starting from my study i knelt down and asked god to prosper me in my appeal. upon going out of my parsonage the physician was in the act of passing in his carriage. i hailed him, explained to him my desire, and the result was not only a contribution of money as large as the largest, but a gift of a lot for the chapel worth several hundred dollars." a servant's prayer for a good home. "i was brought up religiously as a servant in a family in connecticut, and from twelve years of age until twenty-three, knew no other home. the old couple died, and i lived with their children, but they were so different that i became very unhappy and hardly knew what to do or which way to turn. i had no relatives and knew nothing of any world save the little one in which i had all my life moved, and i was terribly afraid to try any other. i could only offer my constant prayer for help, and it was answered so much beyond my highest hope, and so kind were god's dealings with me that i was taken, almost without an effort of my own, into a warm, loving heart, and such a happy home, and all so easily and smoothly that to me it seems like a miracle; and never can i forget while i live, nor cease to believe that truly 'he is the hearer and answerer of prayer.'" "before they call i will answer."--a pastor prays for decision as to good choices. "the writer was once in great trouble to know what was duty. urged by ministers and laymen in high standing to undertake a work not exactly in the line of the ministry, he hesitated. god's displeasure was feared, lest in doing what was desired 'sin might lie at his door.' to refuse the wish of good and wise men might be resisting god's call. in this trial of conscience he sought in fasting and special prayer the guidance of his heavenly father. while so doing the above promise came very distinctly to his mind. he brought it to god as his own promise, and pleaded, if it could be graciously done, that he would literally fulfill it to the suppliant. in the very act of thus pleading, he heard a rap on the door. opening it, there stood his mother-in-law. she said, 'two gentlemen are in the parlor waiting for you.' i went down, and the interview revealed the exact fulfillment both of the promise and the prophecy. the lord answered my prayer two days before i called on him. one of the two came from new york to my home in a western city to inquire about _the very thing which was troubling me. he was to me an entire stranger_, never having heard of him until i saw him. having consulted his friend, the rev. m.w. jacobus, d.d., they together came to call on me about the matter at the very moment i was pleading with god that he would mercifully, 'while yet speaking, hear me.' now could tyndall and his followers desire a more literal, a more exact fulfillment of this prophecy and promise as proof of its inspiration, and of prayer as god's ordinance than that prayer for such fulfillment of these words actually before the prayer was made, and while the petitioner was 'yet speaking?'" it will be noticed that the best judgment of good men advise one course, but trust in god for superior wisdom brought the case to answer in a totally different manner, by means of an unknown person, a total stranger, who neither knew him nor his desire. the circumstance should convince the world. a family pray for a good servant. "about three years since my family comfort was very much disturbed by failure to obtain a good housemaid. and, having been accustomed to wait upon god for right direction in my _temporal_ as well as spiritual affairs, in simple faith i asked him to direct me on reaching new york city to where i would find a girl of good character that would appreciate a christian home. my steps were led to a boarding-house on greenwich street, and on inquiring for a german or swede girl i was told they had a nice swede just landed. i talked to her through an interpreter and was satisfied from what she said, as well as from her countenance, that she was the one i was searching for. she came to my home and proved, in two years' service, almost faultless. in conversation one day, a short time after she came to our home, she said she had had several places offered her that morning before i came, but she did not like them; but as soon as she saw me, felt that she could go with me--she was a christian, member of the lutheran church and wanted a christian home. her desire was granted and my prayer was answered." a recovery from a death-bed. "some forty years ago, in a rural parish in new england, a young man lay apparently on his death-bed with a putrid fever. his aunt, in whose family he was staying, was a woman who had long lived in habitual intercourse with the unseen world through prayer. one afternoon, when it seemed to those around him that the sick one must die, she went away alone to speak with god. with intense earnestness she pleaded for the young man's life. and, being deeply interested in the portion of our country then beginning to be settled, she asked also that he might become a home missionary at the west. there were various circumstances which made this latter request, as well as the other, seem very unlikely to be fulfilled. and yet it was. the young man recovered, pursued a collegiate and theological course, and still lives and labors as a most devoted and useful christian pioneer. more than once he has been a member of the general assembly of the presbyterian church, and his name is familiar to many." a poor student prays for money. "i was a poor student in a manual labor institute at the west. the month of february was our regular winter vacation. we were privileged to keep our rooms and have board at one dollar a week. but i had absolutely no money. i was six hundred miles from my friends, and they were unable to furnish me with funds. i had no books for the new term, though these were a necessity if i went on with my class, and there was no work about the institution, nor that i know of in the neighborhood at that season. my case seemed an exceedingly bad one; and i had no idea from where any help could come. so i went to my room in the third story, locked my door and carried my case to the lord. it was a long, earnest, tearful cry for help from him who alone seemed able to give it. my prayer was answered. when i had been there i do not know how long, i heard footsteps in the empty hall, and in a moment a knock at my door. i wiped my eyes, and put myself into presentable shape as soon as i could, and opened the door. a lad stood there who said: 'a man wants to see you at the front door.' down the stairs i went, wondering who could want me and what he could want me for. in the front yard was a man on a restless horse, who at once said: 'we want you to teach our school for a month. the boys have driven out the female teacher. we want you to take them in hand, and we'll give you fifteen dollars and your board.' i said, 'all right, i'll be down there to-morrow morning.' and then i went back to my room to thank god for hearing my prayer." "i can't stop to pray." "a deacon living in a berkshire town was requested to give his prayers in behalf of a poor man with a large family who had broken his leg. 'i can't stop now to pray,' said the deacon (who was picking and barreling his early apples for the city market), 'but you can go down into the cellar and get some corned beef, salt pork, potatoes, and butter--that's the best i can do.'" remarkable healing of a child. a clergyman writes that during the ministration of his labors at battle greek, mich., there were several remarkable manifestations of divine power--especially in the case of a little girl, the daughter of a mr. smith, a child of about six years. "in september last, she was taken very sick with spinal fever. she became much reduced, extremely nervous and helpless, excepting to move her hands. physicians gave up the case as a hopeless one, deciding that should she live, her condition would be that of helplessness, a burden to herself and to her parents. "but our gracious god had better things in store for that afflicted family. it was on a sabbath afternoon, at the very hour when the crowded congregation in our house of worship were in prayer for the influences of the divine spirit, that a holy, solemn influence came into the dwelling of brother smith, as if an angel had come to touch the child with healing power. the mother could not leave the bedside of her suffering child to attend the meeting, and she says that a sudden change came over her feelings, and it appeared to her that an angel had come into the house, and had shed a holy influence in every part of it. it was at that moment that the hitherto helpless child drew herself up in a sitting posture, and next rose upon her feet. she rapidly recovered to her usual habits of taking food and sleeping, and now takes the exercise of the most robust children of her age." god paid the rent.--answer to prayer. a poor christian family were in distress. the husband, during a long and painful sickness, had borne his trials for months with cheerful christian resignation; "but, on this day," said a city missionary, "i found them, for the first time, in tears. the cause i soon learned was the want of means to pay the rent of their little home, which would come due on the following monday, and must be paid then, or they would have to leave and go they knew not where. the amount needed, _fifteen dollars_, and the amount in hand but _fifty cents;_ the future all dark, and no hope of recovery from sickness, and no hope of being able to meet their expenses--it might be of a long sickness and want--what could i do for them? if theirs had been the only case of like wants that day, i no doubt could have gone to a few friends and have collected the amount. but that would not do them the good i felt they needed. but i felt sure of a better way to get it, and lead them to trust in the lord, and glorify god and not man. "on the wall, at the foot of the sick man's bed, i had hung, but a short time previous, one of those precious silent comforters, a scroll of scripture texts, printed in large type, and a different prayer for every day in the month. on the page before us for _that day_, after calling their attention to it, i read the following words: '_and all things whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer believing, ye shall receive_.' matt. : . 'again i say unto you, _that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them_. matt. : ; remarking, 'are not those precious promises? your fears, dear brother and sister, are that you will not be able to pay the rent on monday, and may be turned out into the street, unless you get the means to pay the rent; are they not?' 'that is so,' said they. 'there are two ways: one, to try to get some one to lend you the amount until you can pay, if the landlord will not wait; another, to go and beg for it.' i have learned a better way, and wish i could lead you to do the same. do as david did. have you ever gone to the lord as directed above, and found in him, as david did, a very present help in time of trouble? would not your faith and confidence in god's word and in his kind, overruling providence be more strengthened, if, in going to him now and making known your present troubles and wants, he should in a way, without your making known your wants to any other person, on monday enable you to pay all?' the answer was, 'we should.' "after prayer and encouragement to do so, i left them, with the promise to call the following tuesday. doing so, i was met at the door by the wife with a countenance full of joy. '_oh, brother, we could not wait until you came, to tell you the wonderful answer to our prayer_. on monday, _the very day_ that we had to pay the rent, one gentleman came and handed my husband _five dollars_, and early in the morning mrs. f---- called and handed me _ten dollars_, making in all _just fifteen dollars_, the amount we needed; was it not wonderful? oh, how good the lord is!' the same week another called and gave them an order for fifty dollars more, so that they were able to pay up all their debts, and the sudden joy soon led to a speedy restoration to health, and the husband is now one of the most active christian workers and teachers in a mission school, and the wife and daughter are also trying to do all they can to lead others to trust in jesus." he forgetteth not the cry of the humble. a city home missionary has told us of the case of a poor colored family, the husband nearly one hundred years old, totally incapacitated for work, and confined to his room by sickness nearly twelve years. although very often in straitened circumstances, the lord has never left them to want for any good they needed, having, in a truly wonderful manner supplied their wants, in answer to prayer. the wife, having for a long time been kept from the enjoyment of church privileges by close confinement, she had been sorely tempted to doubt her acceptance in christ, and was in great darkness for days; but one day, in reading the following words, found in the fifteenth chapter of john, _"if ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will and it shall be done unto you,"_ she was led to go to god in prayer, and to ask, if not wrong in his sight, to grant her a request, that she might know that her prayer was answered, and that she was abiding in him. the request was that, as they were in trouble for the rent coming due the next day, and still in need of _three dollars,_ that the lord would send them a friend in a stranger, some one that they had never seen before, and that he would put it into the heart of that stranger to give them three dollars, and then they would not be tempted to believe, as they had sometimes before, that it would have been sent by a friend even if they had not prayed. "but," said she, "i knows if a stranger comes, none but the lord could send, then i would know the lord heard my prayer, and i was truly the lord's. so i watch for the answer for you knows, brother, when we prays, the lord says we must believe we shall receive what we ask of him, and then he will give it. so i watch and listen for the knock at the door, and do you believe me, brother, about three o'clock in the afternoon, i hears a knock and opens the door, and a strange lady was there, one i never saw before, and asked me if mrs. h---- lived here; and said she had been looking for us before, but could not find us; 'when, to-day i felt i must try again, and i am so glad i have found you. i heard of you through a friend who has known you a long time.' she spoke many kind words, and when she took my hand to say good-by, she left a little roll of notes, and when she is gone i count it, and _it was just three dollars._ i is been so happy ever since. i loves to tell how good the lord has been to us; every time i does so i feels so happy." incidents in the life of an invalid.--how god cares and comforts in small things. the following incidents are from the life of an invalid, personally known to the editor of this book, and can be depended upon as authentic in every particular. they illustrate most beautifully the blessed way in which the savior's everlasting arms are around, strengthening, and his presence comforting his weak and helpless ones, in all their little as well as great trials of life. the ways in which he sent relief, and the many hundred promises which he has given; will encourage other christian hearts to trust the same _omnipotent, ever helping friend._ giving her last money to the lord. "'the first money the lord gives me i will send to you,' were the last words i said to my old father, as i stood waiting for the train to bear me to distant friends. so the weeks passed on, but i remembered my promise and waited patiently for the lord to enable me to fulfill that promise. i had two dollars, but thought i must not give it away until more came. but this feeling did not last long; something seemed to tell me the lord would not send me any until that was gone. one day i received a letter from a friend containing this sentence: 'i have not had three cents in five weeks.' my whole nature responded in a moment. i put part of my money into a letter for him, the rest into a letter for my father. now i felt clear. then i told the lord all about it. a week passed, and $ came to me from my mother to pay my return fare. a few days longer, and another $ came from a lady friend, so i was provided for. i needed a certain article of clothing, and one night made all arrangements to get it next day. morning came, and i went to the bible for my orders for the day; my eyes rested on these words: 'be content with what ye have.' this seemed so strange, because the lord knew i needed the dress; i was obliged to stay out of society on this account. 'but the lord knows best,' i thought, and gave up all idea of getting it. nor did it trouble me further. i gave it all into his hands, feeling he knew best. and afterwards it was made clear to my own heart i had not trusted in vain. _'commit all thy ways unto the lord, for he careth for thee.'"_ money wanted to pay railroad fare. "once, on a visit, i left the company below, and went up stairs for an hour's quiet and prayer. i was to return the coming week and i had only just enough to pay my fare. for several days i had been anxious how i was to get some money. this afternoon i had to pray very earnestly, because the need was great. an hour passed; i felt weary and unrefreshed, when a voice clear and near said unto me: 'trust in the lord and do good, and verily thou shalt be fed.' it was not a human voice, for no one was near me, but i started and looked around, _almost_ expecting to see an angel visitant. i saw nothing, but the sun shone brighter outside, and the room seemed brighter than before. and why should it not? the lord had been there with words of cheer and comfort for his little child. i arose and went below, where i found other company had called, and i was introduced to the lady and her husband, whom i had met five years before. a pleasant chat and they left, after giving me an invitation to visit them. at the door, as i learned from my friend who attended them, mrs. n---- said: 'i should like to give miss b---- something,' and handed my friend _a five dollar bill for me_. i was more than surprised. i cannot tell you the emotions of my heart. while i was yet asking, even, the messenger had brought my answer. i could yet hear the soft sound of the voice up-stairs, and the soothing influence of the unseen presence still lingered round me. how quickly our needs flow on the wings of prayer into the very presence of our friend and master." prayer saves the life of a little child. "a year ago this summer, my sister's little baby, only five months old, was taken very ill with that distressing complaint which often proves so fatal, and takes so many sweet little ones out of loving hearts and homes. i loved baby ernest, but never so well as when he lay so sick he could not know it. we all loved him, and everything was done that could be thought of to ease the little sufferer all those long, close, hot days. day after day, for four long weeks, we tenderly cared for him. sometimes his mother would watch his every breath, fearing each would be the last. one sunday he lay just where we put him, so quiet and still, with the sweet baby face so white and calm, we thought we should lose him soon, the little hands and feet were so cold. all through his illness, i kept asking the lord to let his parents keep the tender bud he had sent them. we could not let him die, and to-day i prayed very earnestly all the time--even when we could not warm the little body at all--we could not let him go. well, ernnie passed over the fearful day and became a happy, well boy. he was saved. no physician saved him. our tender care did not save him. prayer saved our ernnie. precious baby! he is such a jolly, happy boy now, filling every heart and the whole house with his sunshine. how i love the little fellow. when i am here at his home, he always comes to auntie for love and tenderness. when i am resting on the lounge, he comes every few moments to kiss me, giving and receiving real heart-love. we know god only lends these little treasures to their human friends. but oh, they bring so much love with them, it is hard to give them up." the lost thimble. "one day i lost my silver thimble, a gift from my mother when i was a young girl. i prized it _very highly_. i looked everywhere, long and faithfully. the tears would come, at the best, it had been so long a constant companion. i gave up the search after a while, thinking some one had taken it, or a child had lost it--any way, it was gone. feeling sad over it, i sat down to console myself, and the thought came--pray about it; so i did, and while i knelt there something whispered, 'look on the bed,' so plainly that i arose and went into my sister's sleeping-room where i had turned the spread aside, and there nestled, in a fold of the quilt, _my thimble_. i involuntarily said, 'thank god!' out of the depths of my glad heart. i had lain down a moment on this bed with baby ernest, early in the morning, and the thimble had fallen out of my pocket." a prayer for $ . "god moves in a mysterious way his wonders to perform." "i had a present of twenty-five dollars once, which was a direct answer to earnest, pleading prayer. i was entirely out of money for months--i could not earn a dollar. i had those who might have assisted me, but they did not. i could have borrowed, but i might never be able to return it; i knew not what to do. one evening, thinking it all over, scanning the dark cloud with anxious eyes, i said, 'if the lord cannot help me, no one else can; i will ask him.' and so i did, bringing all the previous promises before him, pleading my unworthiness, but my great need; asking first for _ten dollars_; then, as i grew more earnest, i asked for _twenty-five,_ feeling almost frightened as the words came from my lips. sometimes the thought would intrude, 'how can you ask for any given sum--how do you expect it will come?' so i said, one day, to the lord, 'any sum you choose; you know best; i will be content.' several weeks passed, and a sweet feeling of rest and assurance came, that, whatever came of it, would be all for the best. but, by-and-by, when the anxious pleading feeling was all gone, one morning came a letter from one i had never seen, with $ --just what i had asked for. i cannot tell you just how i felt; i only know i held the check long in my hand, scarcely realizing it could be for me." praying for others. "my sister's husband wished to raise a certain sum of interest money by a given time, but could see no way; was very much troubled about it; said he knew no one to whom he could apply. i told him to pray for it. he answered, 'god won't hear the prayer of the wicked; suppose you ask him yourself.' i did ask him, earnestly and faithfully, and it was even given me the idea who my brother could ask to loan it him. i spoke of the man to him--said i thought he might get it; so he called on him one evening, and the way was made plain for my brother to introduce the subject; and when he came home that night, he brought with him the three hundred dollars." a visit to friends. "i will hold thee by thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not, i will help thee." "once i held in my hand an open letter, containing an invitation to visit friends i had never seen. my heart bounded with pleasure at thought of the journey, and the pleasant visit to follow; but, on second thought, it almost stood still--where could i get money and proper clothing? several weeks passed in thought. i could see no way, and so i wrote my friends i could not come at present; but, in my heart, i could not give it up. my parents were visiting in the far west, and i had no one to advise me; so, up in my little room, night after night, i made it a point to tell the lord about it; and soon it seemed as easy and right as though i were talking to a friend. one day, my brother-in-law said he would pay my expenses to and fro. i thanked him, and took fresh courage, and still kept on praying. then the same good brother gave me money for a dress; then a friend furnished other articles, and soon, i was en route for the quaint old city by the sea. every step was accomplished by the simple way of prayer; and, when i slept, late that night, in a cosy room at the methodist parsonage in n.b., i could look back over the last few weeks, and thank god for the _power of prayer_. but the best of it all was the lesson i had learned--one which i shall never forget, while memory holds her magic power--to carry _everything_ to god in prayer; to trust him in every matter, however small; and this is the whole secret of the power that lies in prayer." "i found another lady visitor at my friend's and we were to share the same bed. this was a little trial; i had to ask the lord to give me patience--and he did. one night, i was very restless and nervous; i could not sleep. i knew i was disturbing my friend--soon she said, 'annie, i am going to ask the lord to come and put you to sleep. now, lay still, and in five minutes you will be all right'. i did so, also breathing the words, 'give me sleep, dear saviour.' the room seemed to be full of a soft, soothing influence, and i fell asleep. once only in the night i awoke, but soon went asleep. when i awoke in the morning, rested and refreshed, tillie, who was dressing near me, looked up with her pleasant smile and said, 'annie, how wonderful it was. you were asleep in less than five minutes. it seemed as though jesus stood close by your side; i could _almost see_ him, i felt so clearly his presence. he is here now, annie; can't you feel him near? he was very good to you last night.' yes, indeed, i felt the influence of his presence, and, all day, whenever i entered the room, i felt it, and it seemed as though i must tread softly, it was so like holy ground. this feeling lasted through my stay, and, last winter, while again visiting the home of my friends, it all came back to me again. this beautiful influence has ever kept with me, and i never close my eyes in sleep until i say, 'oh, lord, breathe upon me the sweet spirit of sleep.' however weary, sick or nervous i may be, i feel that the soothing power will come; and, with my hand in his, i rest peacefully, at last." praying for a new hat. "whatsoever thing ye ask in _my_ name"-- "for a long while i had been without money, and my need was very great. i wanted a new hat so much; and the question arose in my mind, 'what am i going to do about it?' as i had no human arm to depend on for anything, of course there was only one way for me to do--ask the lord for money to get me a hat. with me, to think is to act, and so i told the lord all about it, asking, if it was his will, to send me, in his own way, money for the article i needed. day after day passed, and i felt almost discouraged. one day, a letter came from a lady friend i had never seen, enclosing one dollar. i bought my hat--neither could i have used that dollar for another purpose. soon after this, my physician ordered something for me. i had no money to get it, but said i would get it soon as i could. three weeks passed, and no money came. then i asked the lord for enough to get my medicine. another letter came from an old nurse, with a gift of one dollar. i had my medicine. time after time, i have not had wherewith to send my letters, and, as i have a large correspondence, it often is a real trouble. the only way i have to do is to _pray for it,_ and always, in some way, it comes; not in _my way_--not just as soon as i ask for it--but in his own way, he always provides. i have learned to trust and not be afraid, even though the clouds hang heavy, and i see no ray of light, the promise is there, and for me, 'i will _never_ leave thee, or forsake thee.' i am so entirely dependent on him for everything that sometimes, in little matters, my faith will, for a brief season, droop. sometimes i have to plead and plead over again some particular promises; but these times of waiting on him only strengthen me for future conflicts. 'wait on the lord, and he shall renew thy strength,' comes in beautifully on such occasions. no human being to help me; no one but god. sometimes, when i sit alone, such a flood of feelings come over me, i well nigh sink. loneliness, homesickness, and the great want in every human heart of sympathy and love, leave me, for a moment, without hope or faith; but, when the heart is weakest, and the need greatest, the loving saviour is nearest. 'like as a mother comforteth her child, so does he comfort me;' and then, soothed by his power and love, how the aching heart rests 'by the still waters, and in the green pastures.' there is nothing but prayer for the helpless sinner; nothing else will bring us into loving companionship with the lord. we may go to him always, with every trial, need or sorrow. he is ever waiting--ever ready to hear and answer." praying for a sewing machine. "one day a lady friend said to me: 'would you like some nice sewing, easy to do?' i answered, 'yes.' 'have you a sewing machine?' 'i have not, but am praying for one.' 'that is right; so you believe you will have it by praying for it?' i replied: 'if the lord thinks i need it, he will send it.' i had learned to use my sister's, but i wanted one of my own, to use just when i felt like it. so the thought kept in my heart, 'why can't i pray for one?' and yet it seemed foolish to go in prayer to god for such a simple thing, but i had not then learned that _all things,_ with him, meant every wish and want of the human heart. but there was no other way. he must send my machine, or i could have none. i prayed very earnestly. after a few weeks of waiting, one golden winter morning it came--my beautiful machine--just what i wanted. this seemed so wonderful to me, that it seemed to bring me into nearer companionship with the lord, and ever after, whatever i needed, i went directly to him for. a ministerial friend once asked me what it was i had covered up on the stand. i told him it was my piano, taking the cover aside and showing him at once how my beautiful sewing machine worked. _'what tune do you play oftenest?'_ he asked. _'rock of ages_ is its favorite one, and i never sew without singing it.'" money for postage. "one day i opened my port-monnaie to get change for some little needful, when i found i had but ten cents. i used five of it. as visions of six or seven letters and many little things i needed came up before me, i said aloud: 'the lord will have to send me some money pretty soon.' i think once through the day i prayed for some money, but felt no uneasiness about it. that evening a lady friend called to say good-by for the winter, and as she left gave me _fifty cents for postage._ while i was calling he answered me. about a week before this, i thought i would ask the lord for $ for my physician. he had come so faithfully, day after day, without ever expecting one dollar, because i had told him freely my circumstances. but i felt i must give him something for a gift at least. so i asked for five dollars. day after day passed away, and i thought perhaps the lord did not want me to have it. but still i prayed, asking it for his will, not mine. one morning a letter came from a very dear friend, containing a check for the amount for which i had prayed, and a little beside. it seemed such a signal answer to my prayer, that i could scarcely speak, and in my heart a glad prayer of thanksgiving went up to him, who had told me _to ask and i should receive._ a friend, to whom i told this, said: 'now you need this money yourself; i would not give it to the doctor now--wait awhile.' 'but,' i replied, 'i dare not do it. i need it, i know, but i asked god for it for my doctor, and i must give it.' and here let me say, when we ask god for money, it is sacred, and must be spent only to please him." praying for a bible. "for a long while it has been my habit to be entirely guided for the day by the first verse in the bible on which my eyes rested. while dressing for the day, i glance at the open page, or sometimes turning over the leaves. but my old bible was poor print and small, and it troubled me for a long while. so i thought i would ask the lord to send me a new one. i told him all about it. one day, this summer, the postman brought me a package of magazines and a letter. i began to undo the package, eager to scan their welcome pages. my sister laughingly said she would read my letter, and suiting the action to the word, opened the envelope. i really did not mind what she was doing, until she said: 'why there is some money here, but no letter.' so she handed me the half sheet of paper, with the money folded inside. i looked it over, and there were only these words in pencil: 'for a bible, and three dollars.' we looked at each other; i could not say a word, until she said, 'what does it all mean? 'i answered, 'the lord sent it, i know; where could it come from?' it was wonderful--wonderful because i could not remember as i ever told any one that i was praying for a bible." a spring mattress. "last summer, when i bought my bedstead, i did not have money to get either springs or a mattress, so i fixed up a clean, straw bed, and covered it nicely with a thick comfortable. it was pretty hard--i did not rest well. so, one sleepless night, i said aloud, 'i will just ask the lord to send me a set of springs.' i kept on day by day. when i felt the severe pain which denoted illness, i thought of my hard bed and prayed more earnest. one day my physician spoke of my hard bed. i told him i was going to have a better one; i was praying for some springs. and so i kept on. one day, a lady friend said something about my bed. i did not say much. somehow i felt i must not; i wanted to have it all the lord's doings, if i ever had any. one day my sister said a man was at the door, who wanted to fit a set of springs to my bed. why, i can't tell how i felt; even after god had answered my simple prayers, and honored my faith so many times, i was astonished at this. but she helped me up, and the bed was fitted with nice, new springs. and they were mine. the man could not tell anything about them. my sister says, 'annie, did you order them?' i said, 'no.' 'don't you know who sent them?' i said, 'no.' 'did you ask mrs. w---- to order them?' i said, 'i did not; i would lay here six years before i would do it. no, somebody had a hand in it, but the lord sent them, because i prayed for them all the time.' a friend was present when my physician called. i told him about the new springs. his kind face lit up grandly at this new evidence that god did answer humble, faithful prayer, and he turned to my friend with the words: 'i am glad they were just what she has been praying for.' i do not think he had anything to do about them. but these springs are only another proof of his love and power, in touching the hearts of his children to help others. and they have their reward. soon after this, a lady sent me a white spread for my bed. surely, god is good to his little ones." the healing of mary theobald. the following incident is related by her pastor, at woburn, mass., who, for three and a half years, was well acquainted with her physical condition, and who testified, in _the congregationalist_, that no medicine, or physician's aid or advice, was of any avail: "from the first of my acquaintance to the last, she had an unswerving confidence in her recovery. many times has she said to me: 'i believe that i shall be well. jesus will raise me up. i shall hear you preach some day.' "but, in common with the friends who were watching her case, and with the physicians who had exhausted their skill upon her in vain, i had little or no hope for her. it seemed to me that her life was to be one of suffering; that god was keeping her with us that we might have a heroic example of what his grace could enable one to bear and to become. "a few days ago, i received from her lips the following statement of the origin and progress of her sickness: 'my first sickness occurred when i was about sixteen years old. this illness lasted for a year. indeed, i was never well again. that sickness left me with a bad humor, which, for two years, kept me covered with boils. when the boils disappeared, the trouble was internal. physicians feared a cancer. for ten years, i was sick, more or less--sometimes able to work, sometimes utterly prostrate. "'my second severe illness began in the autumn of . i had been failing for two years. then i was obliged to give up. i was on the bed five months. from this illness i never recovered so as to labor or walk abroad. when not confined to my bed, i have been on the lounge, as you have known me. no one can ever know the suffering which these years have brought me.' "my acquaintance with her began in the spring of . several times since i have known her, she has been carried so low that we have thought her release near at hand; and, indeed, the general tendency has been downwards. i recently asked an intelligent physician, who had attended her for a year or more, to give me the facts in her case. he replied: 'she is diseased throughout. her system is thoroughly soured. it responds to nothing. almost every function is abnormal. there is no help for her in medicine.' other physicians had tried their skill with the same result. it was generally admitted by doctors, friends and family, that nothing more could be done for her. while all saw only suffering and an early death in store for her, yet she confidently expected to be well, and her faith never waned. "it was her custom to spend a few weeks each year in the family of one of the sisters in the church. at her last visit, it was evident to this lady that mary was not so well as in former years. one day, when conversation turned upon this topic, she felt constrained to express her fears. but mary was hopeful. a proposition was made, and arrangements were perfected to visit doctor cullis, to secure the benefit of his prayers. but her feebleness was so great that the plan was abandoned. 'if,' said mrs. f., 'faith is to cure you, why go to doctor cullis, or to any one? let us go to god ourselves; and, mary, if you have faith that god can and will cure you sometime, why not believe that he will _cure you now?_' "she felt herself cast on god alone. all hope of human help was at an end. she had thought it, hitherto, enough patiently to wait his time. she saw that, after all, she must not dishonor god by limiting his power. again her bible opened to the familiar passages, '_the prayer of faith shall save the sick_;' 'according to your faith be it unto you.' she felt that the time for testing her faith had come. she would dishonor the lord no longer. requesting the prayers of the family that god would now grant healing and restoration, she tottered to her couch, and, asking that in the morning she might be well, calmly closed her eyes in the assurance that it would be so. _and according to her faith, so it was. she came forth in the morning without a remnant of the pain which had filled a decade of years with agony_. that sabbath was to her, indeed, 'a high day.' a week later the frequent prophecy that she should hear me preach was fulfilled. "_not a vestige of suffering remained_. so far as that is concerned, there was not a hint left that she had been an invalid for almost a score of years. "_she immediately took her place in the family as a well person._ two days after, i saw her. she came to meet me with a step light and strong, and with a face written all over with thankfulness and joy. since that time all the abandoned duties of active life have been resumed. when last i saw her, she was in bounding health and spirits, declaring that she could not remember when she had felt so happy and well. that night--one of the coldest of the winter, the roads at their iciest--she walked more than half a mile to and from the prayer-meeting. it is difficult for those who are not conversant with the case to believe it, yet there is no illusion in it. _that she went to sleep a suffering, feeble, shattered woman, and, awoke free from pain, and that she has been gaining in strength ever since, are facts that cannot be doubted_." how prayer helped him to keep the pledge. in a rural district, in the north of england, lived a shoe-maker who had signed the temperance pledge often, but never had strength to keep it. after a while, he was able to keep it, and reformed entirely. a friend was curious to learn how he had been able, at last, to win the victory, and went to see him. "well, william, how are you?" "oh, pretty well. i had only eighteen pence and an old hen when i signed, and a few old scores; but now i have about ten pounds in the bank, and my wife and i have lived through the summer without getting into debt. but as i am only thirty weeks old yet (so he styled himself), i cannot be so strong yet, my friend." "how is it you never signed before?" "i did sign; but i keep it different now to what i did before, friend." "how is this?" "why, i _gae doon_ on my knees and pray." here was the _real strength of prayer_. his own resolves were of no value; but when he called on god to help, then came new strength, and he was kept by restraining grace. the bitter experience of those who pledge and pledge over and over again, and never gain the victory, at last must come to either of two ends--their utter destruction, or else to call on god in prayer, to help them keep the pledge manfully, and make them steadfast in their resolutions. one who refused the holy spirit. the following incident is related by d.l. moody, the evangelist, which contains a warning, how the holy spirit avenges itself to those who refuse its admonitions. it is a remarkable instance of the control of an overruling god, who alone knew that man's mind, and which alone could bring that text so often to his memory: "there was a young man in my native village--he was not a young man when i was talking to him--we were working on the farm together one day and he was weeping; i asked him what he was weeping about, and he told me a very strange story. when he left home his mother gave him the text: '_seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you_.' he was ambitious to get rich, and thought when he had got comfortable, that was the time to give his attention to religion. he went from village to village, and got nothing to do. sunday came, and he went into the village church. _what was his great surprise to hear the minister preach from that text_. it went down into his heart--he thought that it was his mother's prayers that were following him--he thought the whole sermon was for himself, and thought he would like to get out. for days be could not get that text and sermon out of his mind. he went on still, from village to village, and at last he went into another church after weeks had rolled away. he went for some sundays to the church, and it wasn't a great while before the minister _gave out this very text_. he thought surely it was god calling him then, and he said, coolly and deliberately, _he would not seek the kingdom of god_. he went on in this way, and in the course of a few months, to his great surprise, he heard the _third sermon from the third minister on the same text_. he tried to stifle it, but it followed him. at last he made up his mind he would not go to church any more. when he came back to northfield, after years, his mother had died, but the text kept coming to him over and over, and he said, 'i will not become a christian;' and said he to me, 'moody, my heart is as hard as that stone.' it was all greek to me, because i was not a christian myself at the time. after my conversion, in boston, he was about the first man i thought of. when i got back and asked my mother about him, she told me he was gone out of his mind, and to every one who went to the asylum to see him he pointed his finger and said: '_seek ye first the kingdom, of god and his righteousness_.' when i went back to my native village, after that, i was told he was still out of his mind, but at home. i went to see him, and asked him did he know me. he was rocking backwards and forwards in his rocking chair, and he gave me that vacant stare and pointed to me as he said, '_young man, seek first the kingdom of god and his righteousness_.' when, last month, i laid down my younger brother in his grave, i could not help but think of that man lying but a few yards away. may every man and woman here be wise for eternity and seek now the kingdom of god and his righteousness, is my prayer." the praying shoe-maker. a correspondent of _the american messenger_ relates this instance of a poor man in the village where he lived, who, with a family of young children and a wife in very feeble health, found it extremely difficult to obtain a livelihood. he was at length compelled to work by the week for a shoe-dealer in the city, four miles from the village, returning to his family every saturday evening, and leaving home early on monday morning. he usually brought home the avails of his week's labor in provisions for the use of his family during the following week; but on one cold and stormy night, in the depth of winter, he went towards his humble dwelling with empty hands, but a full heart. his employer had declared himself unable to pay him a penny that night, and the shoe-maker, too honest to incur a debt without knowing that he should be able to cancel it, bent his weary steps homeward, trusting that he who hears the ravens when they cry, would fill the mouths of his little family. he knew that he should find a warm house and loving hearts to receive him, but he knew, too, that a disappointment awaited them which would make at least _one_ heart ache. when he entered his cottage, cold and wet with the rain, he saw a bright fire, brighter faces, and a table neatly spread for the anticipated repast. the tea-kettle was sending forth its cloud of steam, all ready for "the cup which cheers, but not inebriates," and a pitcher of milk, which had been sent in by a kind neighbor, was waiting for the bread so anxiously expected by the children. the sad father confessed his poverty, and his wife in tears begged him to make _some_ effort to procure food for them before the sabbath. he replied, "let us ask god to give us our daily bread. prayer avails with god when we ask for temporal good, as well as when we implore spiritual blessings." the sorrowing group knelt around the family altar, and while the father was entreating fervently for the mercies they so much needed, a gentle knocking at the door was heard. when the prayer was ended the door was opened, and there stood a woman in the "peltings of the storm," who had never been at that door before, though she lived only a short distance from it. she had a napkin in her hand, which contained a large loaf of bread; and half apologizing for offering it, said she had unintentionally made "a larger batch of bread" than usual that day, and though she hardly knew why, she thought it might be acceptable there. after expressing their sincere gratitude to the woman, the devout shoe-maker and his wife gave thanks to god with overflowing hearts. while the little flock were appeasing their hunger with the nice new bread and milk, the father repaired to the house where i was an inmate, and told his artless tale with streaming eyes, and it is unnecessary to say, that he returned to his home that night with a basket heavily laden, and a heart full of gratitude to a prayer-answering god. how the lord controls even the locomotive and the railroad train. a remarkable instance of how the lord controlled circumstances for the detention of one train, and speeded the arrival of the other, in answer to the prayer of a poor widow, who was in anxiety and distress, is thus known to the editor of _the watchman and reflector_: "not long ago an engineer brought his train to a stand at a little massachusetts village, where the passengers have five minutes for lunch. a lady came along the platform and said: 'the conductor tells me the train at the junction in p---- leaves fifteen minutes before our arrival. it is saturday night, that is the last train. i have a very sick child in the car, and no money for a hotel, and none for a private conveyance for the long, long journey into the country. what shall i do?' 'well,' said the engineer, 'i wish i could tell you.' 'would it be possible for you to hurry a little?' said the anxious, tearful mother. 'no, madam, i have the time-table, and the rules say i must run by it.' she turned sorrowfully away, leaving the bronzed face of the engineer wet with tears. presently she returned and said, 'are you a christian?' 'i trust i am,' was the reply. 'will you pray with me that the lord may, in some way, delay the train at the junction?' 'why, yes, i will pray with you, but i have not much faith.' just then, the conductor cried, 'all aboard.' the poor woman hurried back to her deformed and sick child, and away went the train, climbing the grade. 'somehow,' says the engineer, 'everything worked to a charm. _as i prayed, i couldn't help letting my engine out just a little_. we hardly stopped at the first station, people got on and off with wonderful alacrity, the conductor's lantern was in the air in half a minute, and then away again. once over the summit, it was dreadful easy to give her a little more, and then a little more, as i prayed, till she seemed to shoot through the air like an arrow. somehow i couldn't hold her, knowing i had the road, and so we dashed up to the junction six minutes ahead of time.' there stood the train, and the conductor with his lantern on his arm. 'well,' said he, '_will you tell me what i am waiting here for? somehow i felt i must wait your coming to-night, but i don't know why_.' 'i guess,' said the brother conductor, 'it is for this woman, with her sick and deformed child, dreadfully anxious to get home this saturday night.' but the man on the engine and the grateful mother think they can tell why the train waited. god held it to answer their prayers." think of this wonderful improbability according to natural circumstances. these trains never connected with each other, nor were intended to. there was no message sent ahead to stop. there was not the slightest business reason for waiting, yet the second conductor, on arrival of the first, asks this question, "_what am i waiting for_," and the answer of the first is more singular, "i don't know." another instance of superhuman control of the locomotive, in answer to prayer. an exact parallel instance to the foregoing is given in the experience of a correspondent of _the christian_, which occurred in the latter part of november, , while traveling with her aged father and two small girls: "we started from new hampshire on thursday morning, expecting to have ample time to get through to indiana before saturday night; but, after we crossed the st. lawrence river, the next day, i think, there was a smash-up on a freight train, which hindered our train about two hours. i began to feel anxious, as i knew our limited means would not permit us to stop long on the way. after the cars had started again, i inquired of the conductor what time we should get to toledo, fearing we should not reach there in time for the down train. _he said it would be impossible to gain the time._ soon they changed conductors, and i made a similar inquiry, getting about the same answer. still i hoped, till we reached the detroit river. here i found that, though they had put on all the steam they dared to, they were _almost an hour behind time_, so i should have to stay over till sunday night. "after getting seated in the cars on the other side, i ventured to ask the conductor if we should get to toledo in time for the down train. he readily said, '_no, madam, impossible! if we put on all the steam, we dare to, we shall be more than half an hour behind time._ if we were on some trains we might hope they would wait; but on this, _never! he is the most exact conductor you ever saw. he was never known to wait a second, say nothing about a minute, beyond the time._' i then inquired if we could not stay at the depot. he said, no; we should all freeze to death, for the fire is out till sunday evening. "a gentleman sitting in front of us said he would show us a good hotel near by, as he was acquainted there. i thanked him, but sunk back on my seat. covering my eyes with my hand, and raising my heart to god, i said, 'o, god, if thou art my father, and i am thy child, put it into the heart of that conductor to wait till we get there.' "soon i became calm, and fell asleep, not realizing that god would answer my poor prayer; but, when we reached toledo, to the astonishment of us all, there stood the conductor, _wanting to know the reason why he had to wait_, when our conductor told him there was a lady with her crippled father and two little daughters, who were going down on that train. "soon as all were out of the car, both conductors came with their lanterns and gave their aid in helping my father to the other train, where they had reserved seats by keeping the door locked. all was hurry and confusion to me, as i had my eye on father, fearing he might fall, it being very slippery, when the baggage-master said, 'your checks, madam!' i handed them to him, and rushed into the car; but, before i got seated, the car started, and i had no checks for my baggage. again my heart cried out, 'o, thou that hearest prayer, take care of my baggage!' believing he could do that as well as make the conductor wait. in a few moments the conductor came to me with a face radiant with smiles, saying, '_madam, i waited a whole half hour for you_,--_a thing i never did before since i was a conductor, so much as to wait one minute after my time_.' he said, 'i know it was your father that i was waiting for, because there was nothing else on the train for which i could have waited.' i exclaimed, in a half suppressed tone, 'praise the lord!' i could not help it; it gushed out. then he said, '_at the very moment all were on board, and i was ready to start, such a feeling came over me as i never had in my life before. i could not start_. something kept saying to me, _you must wait_, for there is something pending on that train you must wait for. i waited, and here you are, all safe.' again my heart said, praise the lord! and he started to leave me, when i said, 'but there is one thing.' 'what is it?' was his quick reply. 'i gave the baggage-master my checks, and have none in return.' 'what were the numbers?' i told him. 'i have them,' he said, handing them to me, 'but your baggage will not be there till monday morning. we had no time to put it on, we had waited so long.'" another wonderful record of $ . _a christian minister_, living in northern indiana, was in want, and knelt in prayer again and again before his father in heaven. his quarterly allowance had been withheld, and want stared him in the face. constrained by urgent need, and shut up to god for help, he pleaded repeatedly for a supply of his temporal wants. now see how extraordinary was the plan of the lord to send relief. "in one of the lovely homes of massachusetts, while the snow was falling and the winds were howling without, a lady sat on one side of the cheerful fire, knitting a little stocking for her oldest grandson, and her husband, opposite to her, was reading aloud a missionary paper, when the following passage arrested the attention of the lady and fastened itself in her memory. "'in consequence of failure to obtain my salary when due, i have been so oppressed with care and want, as to make it painfully difficult to perform my duties as a minister. there is very little prospect, seemingly, of improvement in this respect for some time to come. what i say of my own painfully inadequate support, is substantially true of nearly all your missionaries in this state. you, of course, cannot be blamed for this. you are but the almoners of the churches, and can be expected to appropriate only what they furnish. _this, however, the master will charge to somebody as a grievous fault;_ for it is not his will that his ministers should labor unrequited.' "this extract was without name or date. it was simply headed 'from a missionary in northern indiana.' scores of readers probably gave it only a passing glance. not so the lady who sat knitting by the fire and heard her husband read it. the words sank into her mind, and dwelt in her thoughts. the clause, '_this, however, the master will charge to somebody as a grievous fault_,' especially seemed to follow her wherever she went. the case, she said, haunted her. she seemed to be herself that very '_somebody_' who was to answer at the bar of god for the curtailed supplies and straitened means of this humble minister. "impelled by an unseen, but, as she believes, a divine presence and power, after asking counsel and guidance of the lord, she took twenty- five dollars which were at her own disposal, and requested her husband to give it to the rev. dr. h------ for the writer of the above communication, if he could devise any way to obtain the writer's address. "doctor h------ is a prompt man, who does not let gold destined to such an end rest in his pocket. familiar with the various organizations of the benevolent societies, and only too happy to have an agency in supplying the wants of a laborer in christ's vineyard, he soon started the money on its appointed errand. early in april, the lady in her rural home had the happiness of receiving the following note, of which we omit nothing, save the names of persons and places: "'dear madam.--i have just received a draft for twenty-five dollars, as a special donation from you. this i do with profound gratitude to you for this unselfish and christ-like deed, and to him who put it into your heart to do it. how you, _a lady a thousand miles away, could know that i was, and had been for some time, urged by unusual need to pray for succor and worldly support with unwonted fervency, is a matter of more than curious inquiry. it is an answer to my prayer, for the lord employs the instrumentality of his children to answer prayer, and, when it is necessary, he moves them to it. this is not the first nor second time that i have been laid under special obligation by christian sympathy and timely aid_. may he who said, he that giveth a cup of cold water to a disciple, in the name of a disciple, shall not lose his reward, repay you a thousand-fold for this favor.' "does not this little incident illustrate the power of prayer? the man of god, weary and heavy-laden, in his closet in indiana, spread his case before the lord. a disciple in eastern massachusetts, _a thousand miles away_ from the spot where the prayer was offered, who did not know anything about him or his need, is touched with his wants, and moved to send him immediate aid." mr. spurgeon's cow. "my grandfather was a very poor minister, and kept a cow, which was a very great help in the support of his children--he had ten of them;--and the cow took the "staggers" and died. 'what will you do now?' said my grandmother. 'i cannot tell what we shall do now,' said he, 'but i know what god will do: god will provide for us. we must have milk for the children.' "the next morning, there came £ to him. he had never made application to the fund for the relief of ministers; but, on that day, there were £ left when they had divided the money, and one said, 'there is poor mr. spurgeon down in essex, suppose we send it to him.' the chairman--a mr. morley of his day--said, 'we had better make it £ , and i'll give £ .' another £ was offered by another member, if a like amount could be raised, to make it up to £ ; which was done. they knew nothing about my grandfather's cow; but god did, you see; and there was the new cow for him. and those gentlemen in london were not aware of the importance of the service which they had rendered. charles spurgeon." "trust in the lord." "a poor negro woman, after the death of her husband, had no means of support for herself and two little children, except the labor of her own hands; yet she found means out of her deep poverty to give something for the promotion of the cause of her redeemer, and would never fail to pay, on the very day it became due, her regular subscription to the church of which she was a member. in a hard winter she had found great difficulty in supplying the pressing needs of her little family; yet the few pence for religious purposes had been regularly put by. "as one season for the contribution came round, she had only a little corn, a single salt herring, and a five-cent piece remaining of her little store. yet she did not waver; she ground the corn, prepared her children's supper, and then, with a light heart and cheerful countenance, set out to meeting, where she gave joyfully the five cents, _the last she had in the world_. "returning from the church, she passed the house of a lady to whom, a long time before, she had sold a piece of pork, so long indeed that she had entirely forgotten the circumstance. but, seeing her this morning, the lady called her in, apologized for having been so tardy in the settlement, and then inquired how much it was. old sukey did not know, and the lady, determined to be on the safe side, gave her two dollars, besides directing her housekeeper to put up a basket of flour, sugar, coffee, and other luxuries for her use. poor sukey returned home with a joyful heart, saying, as she displayed her treasures, "see, my children, the lord is a good paymaster, giving us 'a hundred-fold even in this present life, and in the world to come life everlasting.'" exactly eighty dollars.--"they are safe that trust in thee." a clergyman somewhat advanced in years recently related to a correspondent of _the messenger_ an incident in his own life, which well illustrates the provident care of our heavenly father over his children. "his first church was at v----, and, though he labored diligently, working with his own hands for his support, he became eighty dollars in debt. it was a grievous burden, and all his efforts to remove it proved unavailing. one day, when he felt especially cast down, he retired to pray over the matter, and on his knees he besought the lord to aid, as he despaired of help from any other source. he felt strengthened and hopeful when he left his closet, and entered his church on sabbath morning with a lighter heart than usual. as he passed the door a young lady met him, and placed in his hand _fifty dollars_, saying that _twenty_ was to go for the sabbath-school library, and the remaining _thirty_ was for himself. he was so surprised that he scarcely trusted his senses, and asked her not less than three times, that he might not be mistaken. as he preached that day, god seemed 'a very present help.' at the close of the service, a young man, noted for his free-hearted, impulsive character, stepped up and requested that he would perform a marriage ceremony for him the next week. he did so, and received for his services a bill, which he placed in his pocket, and, on looking at it afterwards, found it _fifty dollars_, thus making up _exactly the eighty_ he had prayed the lord to send him." we too often forget that god is as willing to listen to our temporal wants as to our spiritual, and that "no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." a prayer for four dollars. a home missionary from brooklyn called one day upon an editor to gather some tracts for distribution which he had published. the editor became interested in the story of his visits among the poor, and though at first not specially moved to give money at that time, yet toward the last, putting his hand into his pocket he pulled out all the bills there were there, $ , and gave them to the missionary with these words: "there is something which may come useful." the gift was all forgotten until a few days afterward the missionary returned and said to the editor, "after i left you i received a letter from a poor lady who had been owing money for rent for several months, which she could not possibly pay. that very morning the landlord came and said that if she could only raise $ he would excuse the rest; but she did not have the $ . i did not know where to get it. i happened to drop in to see you; did not tell you anything of the need, and asked for nothing; yet you gave me the exact $ to answer that poor woman's prayer." an infinite creator and god had brought these circumstances together in this exact way. neither the editor nor missionary had ever met before. the missionary did not know that the lady was in distress. who was it that sent the landlord to the lady and fixed that amount of $ in his mind? who was it that sent the home missionary to the office of a person he had never seen or known? who was it that knew of the $ waiting in that pocket and prompted that hand to take it out and give it away? who was it that led that missionary to obtain and send relief just as she was praying for that special amount? _was it chance or science? no, no. it was the will of a loving god_. "aunt sally's" faith. "'aunt sally,' says the _american messenger_, was a devout, working, trustful christian. her husband was a cripple, almost helpless, an unbeliever, and to some extent an opposer of religion. they lived alone. the severity of a northern winter was upon them, and in spite of her best exertions their stock of fuel was scarcely a day's supply. "'what can be done?' was the anxious inquiry of the unbelieving husband as they were rising from their bed. 'the lord will provide,' was 'aunt sally's' cheerful reply. 'i know you always say so, and so it has always proved,' was the answer of her unbelieving companion; 'but i see no way in which we can be provided for now.' 'nor do i,' said 'aunt sally.' 'but help will come. god will not desert us.' "that winter's morning had not passed when their son, who had been a soldier in the mexican war, entered the door. it had been long since they had heard from him, and they feared he was not alive. the sun went down upon an abundant supply of fuel, cut in the forest by the strong arms of the soldier-boy, and drawn to the door by means of his procuring. the unbelieving husband and father declared he would never be distrustful again. god careth for you. "nearly forty years ago i was given up by the doctors for a dying man from consumption. i had a wife and five children dependent on me, and for many months was unable to provide for them by my own labors. all our earthly resources were gone, and one sabbath morning, when breakfast was over, we were entirely destitute; there was no meal in the barrel nor oil in the cruse. in family worship i read the fortieth chapter of isaiah. i think up to that time i had never found the word of god so sweet and precious. i had very near access in prayer, and was enabled to lay my burden at the saviour's feet. i closed with the lord's prayer; it seemed made on purpose for me. i think the petition, 'give us this day our daily bread,' was offered in faith. "_within an hour there was a rap at the door_. when i opened it a young man stood there who had come three miles to bring us bread, sugar, and money. he apologized for coming on the sabbath morning, but said an aunt of his was at their house the evening before, and felt so anxious about us she could not go away till he promised her he would come and bring us those things." a prayer not answered. "many years ago, a man then recently married, settled in my native town. it was then quite new, destitute of religious privileges, and given to all manner of wickedness. there was no sabbath, and no sanctuary. the man was pious. the thought of bringing up a family in such a place distressed him. he wished to remove; and he used to retire daily to a little grove, and _pray that god would send some one to buy his farm_. this prayer was not answered. better things were in store. a neighbor was taken sick. he visited and conversed with him. in the midst of the conversation, one sitting by interrupted him and said, 'sir, if what you say is true, i am lost.' this gave new interest to the occasion. prayer was offered, the spirit was found out, and many were converted. a prayer-meeting was started; other revivals followed; in due time a church was organized, a house of worship built, and a pastor settled, mainly through the instrumentality of that one man; and he trained up his family there, and lived to see most of them members of the church of christ. do not despair, god will _either answer your exact prayer,_ or _do something better for you_; he knows what is for your best good." trust in the lord. "a pious woman, who was reduced to extreme poverty and deserted by her intemperate husband, was taken sick, and lay several days without physical power to provide food for her two little children. she had directed them where to find the little that was remaining in the house, and they had eaten it all. still she lay sick, with no means of obtaining more, as night closed upon the hungry household. the children soon forgot their hunger in sleep; but not so the mother. she saw no help for them but in god, and she spent the night-watches in spreading before him their necessities. as the morning approached her confidence in god increased, and that passage from his word rested with peculiar sweetness upon her mind, 'trust in the lord and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and _verily thou shalt be fed_.' "morning came. the starving children managed by her direction to build them a little fire, and almost before they had commenced telling their mother of their hunger, a stranger came in. she introduced herself as mrs. j., saying she had known for some time that there was a new family in the neighborhood, and intended to call and make their acquaintance, but had been prevented. _during the last night she had been so troubled and disturbed about it_, that she thought she would run in early, lest she should again be prevented, and see if there was any way in which she could be of service to them. the mother in bed, with her head bound to mitigate its pain, revealed the story of her sufferings, and the good lady soon learned their entire destitution. they were immediately made comfortable; and all will be glad to know that it was the beginning of better days to that deserted wife and mother." the necessity of asking god's blessing every day, upon your daily work. every work, however good, needs special, specific, daily prayer for its prosperity. "a colporteur in the wabash valley became quite discouraged and was almost ready to give up his work, on account of the smallness of his sales. on every side, his ears were filled with complaints of 'hard times;' the wheat crop had partially failed two years in succession--the california emigration, and railroad and plank-road speculations had almost drained the country of money. frequently he would be told, that if he could come after harvest they would buy his books, but that it was impossible to do so then. his sales were daily decreasing, and he became more and more disheartened, until one night, after a laborious day's effort, he found that he had _only sold twenty-five cents' worth_! he felt that he could not go on in this way any longer. he was wasting his strength and time, and the money of the society. on examination of the state of his heart, he found that it had, gradually and almost unconsciously, grown cold and departed far from christ. he felt that he had not prayed as he ought to have done, especially _he had neglected each morning, and on his approach to each dwelling, to pray that then and there god would guide him, and own and bless his efforts to sell books._ he saw that probably here was at least a part of the cause why his sales had become so small. early the next morning, before any of the family were up, he arose and retired to the adjoining woods, where he had a long and precious season of communion with god. there he anew dedicated himself and his all to the service of christ. there, as under the eye of the master, he reviewed the time he had labored as a colporteur, and prayed for forgiveness for the past and grace for the future. there he told the saviour all about his work, and asked him to go with him that day, preparing the way and enabling him to succeed in the work on which he had entered. the result was what might have been expected. he went forth a new man; his heart was interested more deeply in the truths which he was circulating--they were more precious than ever to his own soul, and he could recommend his books, as he failed to do when his heart was cold and prayerless. _that first day he sold more books than during the whole week before._ in one instance, he sold several dollars' worth in a family where, as he was afterwards told by pious men in the neighborhood, the father was most bitterly opposed to everything connected with true religion. god had prepared that man's heart, so that he was ready to purchase quite a library for his family. and in many families that met him that day with the usual salutation, 'no money,' he succeeded in disposing of more than one volume by sale. as he went from family to family, lifting up his heart in prayer to god for success in the particular object of his visit, god heard his prayers and owned his efforts. and so, he assured me, it had been since; whenever he had been _prayerful_--_prayerful for this particular object_, and then had diligently and faithfully done his best, he had invariably succeeded in doing even more than he expected." prayer found the remedy for the disease. "a correspondent of _the illustrated christian weekly_, states that a mother of her acquaintance had a child taken alarmingly ill. she sent for the physician. the child was in convulsions. the doctor began at once vigorously to apply the customary remedies--cold water to the head, warm applications to the feet, chafing of the hands and limbs. all was in vain. the body lost nothing of its dreadful rigidity. death seemed close at hand, and absolutely inevitable. at length he left the child, and sat down by the window, looking out. he seemed, to the agonized mother, to have abandoned her darling. for herself, she could do nothing but pray; and even her prayer was but an inarticulate and unvoiced cry for help. _suddenly the physician started from his seat. 'send and see if there be any jimson weed in the yard_,' he cried. his order was obeyed; the poisonous weed was found. the remedies were instantly changed. enough of the seeds of this deadly weed were brought away by the medicine to have killed a man. the physician subsequently said that he thought that in that five minutes every kindred case he had ever known in a quarter century's practice passed before his mind. among them was the one case which suggested the real, but before hidden, cause of the protracted and dreadful convulsions. and the child was saved. "now, is there anything inconsistent or unphilosophical in the belief that, at that critical moment, a loving god, answering the mother's helpless cry, flashed on the mind of the physician the thought that saved the child? is it any objection to that faith to say, the age of miracles is past? if the mother, may call in a second physician, to suggest the cause and the cure, may she not call on god? what the doctor can do for a fellow-practitioner, cannot the great physician do? though the doctor had often tried and thought, yet it was not till the last prayer and call on god, brought the remedy to his mind." prayer instantaneously answered for conversion. on the evening of the fifty-first daily prayer-meeting in augusta, ga., a large gathering assembled in the st. john's m.e. church, at which dr. irvine presided, and some very touching communications were read. one was from a widowed mother, asking thanksgiving for the salvation of her youngest daughter, recently from a boarding-school in new york city, where she had finished her education. some weeks ago she had sought the prayers of the daily prayer-meeting for the conversion of her precious child, who was spending a few weeks with some friends seventy miles from augusta. prayers were offered accordingly, but without intimation of any change. the loving mother sent in a second application or prayer to dr. irvine, to be read on a recent monday morning; all this without her daughter's knowledge. on tuesday the mother received a letter from her daughter, dated two o'clock on sabbath, informing her that on that day, and at that hour, she had resolved to give her heart to christ, intending to ask admission to the church at the next communion. strange to say, at the very moment when the faithful mother was writing her application for prayers for that child, she was announcing her own conversion. what a verification of the blessed promise: "before they call i will answer; and while they are yet speaking i will hear." help for the shipwrecked. admiral sir thomas williams, a straight-forward and excellent man, was in command of a ship crossing the atlantic ocean. his course brought him in sight of the island of ascension, at that time uninhabited, and _never visited by any ship_, except for the purpose of collecting turtles, which abound on the coast. the island was barely descried on the horizon, and was not to be noticed at all; but as sir thomas looked at it, he was _seized by an unaccountable desire to steer toward it_. he felt how strange such a wish would appear to his crew, and _tried to disregard it; but in vain_. his desire became more and more urgent and distressing, and foreseeing that it would soon be more difficult to gratify it, he told his lieutenant to prepare to "_put about ship_" and steer for ascension. _the officer to whom he spoke ventured to respectfully represent that changing their course would greatly delay them_--that just at that moment the men were going to their dinner--that at least some delay might be allowed. but these arguments seemed, to increase captain williams' anxiety, and the ship was steered toward the uninteresting little island. all eyes and spy-glasses were now fixed upon it, and soon something was perceived on the shore. "it is white--it is a flag--it must be a signal!" and when they neared the shore, it was ascertained that sixteen men, wrecked on the coast many days before, and suffering the extremity of hunger, had set up a signal, though almost without hope of relief. what made the captain steer his ship in the very opposite direction to what he and his crew wanted to go, but the _superhuman spirit of god_. samuel harris's lawsuit, and how the lord settled it for him. "when samuel harris, of virginia, began to preach, his soul was so absorbed in the work, that he neglected to attend to the duties of this life. finding, upon a time, that it was absolutely necessary that he should provide more grain for his family than he had raised upon his own farm, he called upon a man who owed him a debt, and told him he would be glad to receive the money. "the man replied: 'i have no money by me, and cannot oblige you.' "harris said; 'i want the money to purchase wheat for my family; and as you have raised a good crop of wheat, i will take that of you instead of money, at a current price.' "the man answered: 'i have other uses for my wheat, and cannot let you have it.' "'how then,' said harris, 'do you intend to pay me?' "'i never intend to pay you until you sue me,' replied the debtor, 'and therefore you may begin your suit as soon as you please.' "mr. harris left him, meditating. said he to himself, 'what shall i do? must i leave preaching, and attend to a vexatious lawsuit? perhaps a thousand souls may perish in the meantime, for want of hearing of jesus! no; i will not. well, what will you do for yourself? why, this will i do; i will sue him at the court of heaven.' having resolved what he would do, he turned aside into a wood, and on his knees laid the matter before the lord. mr. harris felt such an evidence of divine favor,--he felt, to use his own expressive language, that jesus would become bondsman for the man, and see that he was paid if he went on preaching. mr. harris arose from prayer, resolved to hold the man no longer a debtor, since jesus had assumed the payment. he therefore wrote a receipt in full of all accounts against the man, and dating it in the woods, where he had prayed, signed it with his own name. going the next day by the man's house, on his way to meeting, he gave the receipt to a servant, directing him to give it to his master. on his return from meeting, the man hailed him, and demanded what he meant by the receipt he had sent him in the morning. "mr. harris replied: 'i mean just as i wrote.' "'but you know, sir,' answered the debtor, 'i have never paid you.' "'true,' said mr. harris, 'and i know you said that you never would unless i sued you. but, sir, i sued you at the court of heaven, and jesus entered bail for you, and has agreed to pay me; i have therefore given you a discharge!' "'but i insist upon it,' said the man; 'matters shall not be left so.' "'i am well satisfied,' answered harris. 'jesus will not fail me. i leave you to settle the account with him at another day. farewell.' "this operated so effectually on the man's conscience, that in a few days he _came and paid the debt_." a wagon-load of food. "a young minister and his wife were sent on to their first charge in vermont about the year . on the circuit were few members, and most of these were in poor circumstances. after a few months the minister and his wife found themselves getting short of provisions. finally their last food had been cooked, and where to look for a new supply was a question which demanded immediate attention. "the morning meal was eaten, not without anxious feelings; but this young servant of the most high had laid his all upon the altar, and his wife also possessed much of the spirit of self-sacrifice; and they could not think the saviour who had said to those he had called and sent out to preach in his name: 'lo! i am with you always,' would desert them among strangers. after uniting in family prayer he sought a sanctuary in an old barn, and there committed their case to god;--his wife met her savior in her closet and poured out her heart before him there. "that morning a young married farmer, a mile or two away, was going with a number of hands to his mowing-field. but as he afterward told the minister, he was obliged to stop short. he told his hired help to go on, but he _must go back_--_he must go and carry provisions to the minister's house_. he returned to the house, and telling his wife how he felt, asked her help in putting up the things he must carry. he harnessed his horse into his wagon; put up a bushel of potatoes, meat, flour, sugar, butter, etc. he was not a professor of religion. the minister's wife told me there was a good wagon-load. he drove it to the house, and found that his gifts were most thankfully received. this account was received from the minister himself,--david p.--, who died in chelsea, mass., in dec. , and subsequently from his wife,--and communicated to a correspondent of '_the christian_.'" "god's raven." "a lady who lived on the north side of london, set out one day to see a poor sick friend, living in drury lane, and took with her a basket provided with tea, butter, and food. the day was fine and clear when she started; but as she drew near islington a thick fog came on, and somewhat frightened her, as she was deaf, and feared it might be dangerous in the streets if she could not see. thicker and darker the fog became; they lighted the lamps, and the omnibus went at a walking pace. she might have got into another omnibus and returned; but a strong feeling which she could not explain made her go on. when they reached the strand they could see nothing. at last the omnibus stopped, and the conductor guided her to the foot-path. as she was groping her way along, the fog cleared up, just at the entrance to drury lane, and even the blue sky was seen. she now easily found the narrow court, rang the number bell, and climbed to the fifth story. she knocked at the door, and a little girl opened it. "'how is grandmother?' "'come in, mrs. a----,' answered the grandmother. 'how did you get here? we have been in thick darkness all day.' "the room was exceedingly neat, and the kettle stood boiling on a small clear fire. everything was in perfect order; on the table stood a little tea-tray ready for use. the sick woman was in bed, and her daughter sat working in a corner of the room. "'i see you are ready for tea,' said the lady; 'i have brought something more to place upon the table.' "with clasped hands the woman breathed a few words of thanksgiving first, and then said, 'o, mrs. a----, you are indeed god's raven, sent by him to bring us food to-day, for we have not tasted any yet. i felt sure he would care for us.' "'but you have the kettle ready for tea?' "'yes, ma'am,' said the daughter; 'mother would have me set it on the fire; and when i said, 'what is the use of doing so? you know we have nothing in the house,' she still would have it, and said, 'my child, god will provide. thirty years he has already provided for me, through all my pain and helplessness, and he will not leave me to starve at last: he will send us help, though we do not yet see how.' in this expectation mother has been waiting all day, quite sure that some one would come and supply our need. but we did not think of the possibility of your coming from such a distance on such a day. indeed, it must be god who sent you to us.' "'the righteous cry, and the lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.'" how the stolen sleigh was returned by a thief. the widow of a minister of the gospel sends to "_the christian_" the following instance illustrating god's faithfulness in hearing and answering prayer: "about the year , my husband, who died january d, , lent his sleigh and harness to a man calling himself john cotton, to go some twenty miles and be gone three days. cotton was quite a stranger among us, having been in our place but six weeks. during that time he had boarded with my husband's brother, working for him a part of the time, and the rest of the time selling wooden clocks, of which he had bought a number. three days passed, but he did not return. the fourth went by, and we began to think he had absconded. on inquiry, mr. p. found that the clocks had been purchased on credit, and all sold for watches or money; that cotton owed sixty dollars toward his horse, and had borrowed of the brother with whom he boarded, horse-blanket, whip, and mittens. now it seemed sure that he was a rogue, but what could be done? pursuit was useless after such a lapse of time. "my husband felt his loss severely, for we had little property then, and what we had was the product of hard labor. but he was a christian, and, i believe, always made his business a subject of prayer. "about three weeks passed away. one evening, having been out longer than usual, he came in, and, with his characteristic calmness, said: 'i shall not worry any more about my sleigh and harness, i think i shall get them again.' 'why do you think so?' his answer was: 'i have been praying to god to arrest cotton's conscience, so that he will be obliged to _leave them where i can get them_, and i believe he will do it.' "from this time, which was wednesday evening, he seemed at rest on the subject. the next tuesday morning, as he stepped into the post-office, a letter was handed him from littleton, n.h. it was written by the keeper of a public house, and read thus: "'_mr. p.--sir, mr. john cotton has left your sleigh and harness here, and you can have them by calling for them_. yours, etc., j--n n----n.' "he returned home with the letter, and started for l----; went there the same day, some forty miles; found sleigh and harness safe, with no encumbrance. the landlord informed him that, a few nights before, at twelve o'clock, a man calling himself john cotton came to his house, calling for horse-baiting and supper; would not stay till morning, but wished to leave the sleigh and harness for mr. s.--- p.--- of marshfield, vt. he said he could not write himself; and requested the landlord to write for him, saying he took them on a poor debt for mr. p., in one of the towns below! he started off at two o'clock at night, on horseback, with an old pair of saddle-bags and a horse blanket, on a saddle with one stirrup and no crupper, on one of the coldest nights of that or any other year. he took the road leading through the notch in the mountains, left nothing for either of those he owed, and we have never since heard from him." "none of the lord's children left desolate." "_the christian era_ tells of a dutch preacher who held a meeting one evening in a strange city. while he was preaching, and enforcing upon the hearts of his hearers the doctrine of the cross, a police officer came into the room and forbade him to go on. he even commanded him to leave the city. as he was a stranger in the place, and the night was dark, he wandered around the city gates. he was not, however, without consolation; for he remembered him who had said, 'lo, i am with you always. i will fear no evil, for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.' "he had long been in the school of christ, and had learned to watch for the slightest intimations of his will. while he was thus wandering around, suddenly he saw a light in the distance. 'see,' he said to himself, 'perhaps the lord has provided me a shelter there,' and, in the simplicity of faith, he directed his steps thither. on arriving, he heard a voice in the house; and, as he drew nearer, he discovered that a man was praying. joyful, he hoped, that he had found here the home of a brother. he stood still for a moment, and heard these words, poured forth from an earnest heart: 'lord jesus, one of thy persecuted servants may, perhaps, be wandering, at this moment, in a strange place of which he knows nothing. o, may he find my home, that he may receive here food and lodging.' "the preacher, having heard these words, glided into the house, as soon as the speaker said, 'amen.' both fell on their knees, and together thanked the lord, who is a hearer of prayer, and who never leaves nor forsakes his servants." the new coat that fitted exactly. "a few years since, a young preacher in the state of massachusetts, who was laboring in a field which yielded no great pecuniary returns, had laid aside the sum of fifteen dollars from his scanty income, with which to purchase himself a coat, of which he stood in need. before he had time to obtain it, there was presented to him a certain charitable object which seemed to demand a portion of his little store. after some consideration as to whether it was his duty to give as much as the ten dollars, which first presented itself to his mind as the proper sum to bestow, he concluded to follow his convictions, and thus assist one who was more needy than himself, and trust in the lord to provide the coat. "within two or three days afterwards, he was visiting at the house of his mother, in another town, and she, as mothers will, noticed that his coat had arrived at that condition which usually affords the preacher of the gospel evidence that he is shortly to have a new one, and she made some remarks about its worn appearance, saying, 'it seems to me you need a new coat.' 'i know it,' he replied, 'and i shall get me one as soon as i get the means.' she said, 'there is a coat up stairs which your brother had made for him not over two weeks ago, which he never has worn but once, because it was _made too small_, and he said that you might have it, if you wanted it.' "the coat was accordingly brought down and tried on, and it fitted exactly. the young man gladly accepted the coat, wondering a little at the wisdom of the lord in clothing him at the expense of his brother, who was not particularly interested in the lord's work, and who was so much larger than he was, that nothing short of the wisdom of providence could have made a coat that was measured for one of them ever to fit the other." this was the return that god made to him for his sacrifice to the lord. _never withhold from the lord_. praying to stop the wind and the sailing of a vessel. the late aged and venerable rev. dr. cleaveland, of boston, relates the following incident: "in a revival of religion in the church of which he was pastor, he was visited one morning by a member of his church, a widow, whose only son was a sailor. with a voice trembling with emotion, she said, 'doctor cleaveland, i have called to entreat you to join me in praying _that the wind may change_.' he looked at her in silent amazement. 'yes,' she exclaimed, earnestly, 'my son has gone on board his vessel; they sail to-night, unless the wind changes.' 'well, madam,' replied the doctor, 'i will pray that your son may be converted on this voyage; but to pray that god would alter the laws of his universe on his account, i fear is presumptuous.' 'doctor,' she replied, 'my heart tells me differently. god's spirit is _here_. souls are being converted here. you have a meeting this evening, and, if the wind would change, john would stay and go to it; and, i believe, if he went he would be converted. now, if you cannot join me, i must pray alone, for he must stay.' 'i will pray for his conversion,' said the doctor. "on his way to the meeting, he glanced at the weather-vane, and, to his surprise, _the wind had changed_, and it was blowing landward. on entering his crowded vestry, he soon observed john, sitting upon the front seat. the young man seemed to drink in every word, rose to be prayed for, and attended the inquiry meeting. when he sailed from port, the mother's prayers had been answered; he went a christian. the pastor had learned a lesson he never forgot. the lord had said, 'o, woman, great is thy faith; be it unto thee, even as thou wilt.' god answered that prayer because the mother was seeking to advance his own kingdom. god always hears a prayer that will in any way bring a soul to the lord." insanity cured and suicide prevented. "_augusta moore_, writes _the christian_, of a young lady called home by the illness of her widowed mother, who died before she could reach her. this alone was a terrible shock to the delicate daughter, who, having been reared in luxury, was ill-fitted for firm endurance of calamity. but, when it became known that a relative, in whom she had placed confidence, had managed, in ways that need not be explained, to defraud her out of her inheritance, her mind gave way and _she became insane_. "for years, her distressed husband strove in every way to restore her reason, but she seemed rather to become worse, and showed signs of intentions to commit suicide; and her family and friends lived in a wretched state of apprehension. in spite of the most faithful watchfulness, she twice succeeded in securing the means for self-destruction, but something prevented her from accomplishing her design. at last, it occurred to a friend to present this woman's case in the prayer-meeting, to the lord, and earnest prayer was offered for her restoration. "no immediate result appeared; but the friends _persevered_. during the winter, a revival of religion occurred in the town where she dwelt, and, with much difficulty, the insane woman, who declared that she was utterly and finally forsaken by god, was prevailed upon to attend the meetings. they began immediately to have a good effect upon her. she could sleep better; she grew more cheerful, and, in a short time, her reason returned to her. a happier, or more grateful woman than she now is, no mortal eyes ever beheld, and she affords one more instance of the lord's willingness to hear and answer fervent prayer." answers to prayer. dr. newman hall, minister of surrey chapel, london, gives the following instances of answers to prayer from his own experience: "the writer's brother, when superintendent of a sunday school, felt a strong impulse, one saturday evening, to call on a member of his bible-class, whom he had never visited before, and to inquire if he was in any need. he found him very ill. though the mother and sister seemed in comfortable circumstances, he felt constrained to inquire if he could aid them in any way. they burst into tears, and said that the young man had been asking for food which they had no power to supply, and that, on monday, some of their goods were to be taken in default of the payment of rates. when he knocked at the door _they were on their knees in prayer for help to be sent them_. by the aid of a few friends, the difficulty was at once met--but the timely succor was felt to be the divine response to prayer. "with that brother, the writer was once climbing the cima di jazzi, one of the mountains in the chain of monte rosa. when nearly at the top, they entered a dense fog. presently, the guides faced right about, and grounded their axes on the frozen snow-slope. the brother--seeing the slope still beyond, and not knowing it was merely the cornice, overhanging a precipice of several thousand feet--rushed onward. the writer will never forget their cry of agonized warning. his brother stood a moment on the very summit, and then, the snow yielding, began to fall through. one of the guides, at great risk, rushed after him and seized him by the coat. this tore away, leaving only three inches of cloth, by which he was dragged back. it seemed impossible to be nearer death, and yet escape. on his return home, an invalid member of his congregation told him that she had been much in prayer for his safety, and mentioned a special time when she particularly was earnest, as if imploring deliverance from some great peril. _the times corresponded!_ was not that prayer instrumental in preserving that life?" bishop simpson's recovery. bishop bowman gives the following instance from his own experience: "in the fall of , whilst visiting indiana, i was at an annual conference where bishop janes presided. we received a telegram that bishop simpson was dying. said bishop janes, 'let us spend a few moment's in earnest prayer for the recovery of bishop simpson.' we kneeled to pray. william taylor, the great california street preacher, was called to pray, and such a prayer i never heard since. the impression seized upon me irresistibly, _bishop simpson will not die_. i rose from my knees perfectly quiet. said i, 'bishop simpson will not die.' 'why do you think so?' because i have had an _irresistible impression_ made upon my mind during this prayer.' another said, '_i have the same impression_.' we passed it along from bench to bench, until we found that a very large proportion of the conference had the same impression. i made a minute of the time of day, and when i next saw simpson, he was attending to his daily labor. i inquired of the bishop, 'how did you recover from your sickness?' he replied, '_i cannot tell_.' 'what did your physician say?' '_he said it was a miracle_.' i then said to the bishop, 'give me the time and circumstances under which the change occurred.' he fixed upon the day, and _the very hour_, making allowance for the distance--a thousand miles away--that the preachers were engaged in prayer at this conference. the physician left his room and said to his wife, '_it is useless to do anything further; the bishop must die_.' in about an hour, he returned and started back, inquiring, '_what have you done?' 'nothing,'_ was the reply. 'he is recovering rapidly,' said the physician; '_a change has occurred in the disease within the last hour beyond anything i have ever seen; the crisis is past, and the bishop will recover_.' and he did." the doctor was puzzled; it was beyond all the course and probabilities of nature and the laws of science. what was it that made those ministers so sure--what was it that made the patient recover, at the exact hour that they prayed? there is only one answer, "_the ever living power of a superior spirit which rules the world_." the seven letters. the following incident is given by "_the presbyterian_," on the authority of a private letter from paris: "at a bible reunion, held at the house of an english congregationalist minister, where several colporteurs, teachers and others meet for devotional reading and conversation, a brief anecdote was related by a clergyman living in la force, who established there an institution for epileptics, where he has now three hundred, supported entirely on the principle of faith, like muller's orphanage. "at one time, he found himself in debt to the amount of five hundred pounds. after a sleepless, anxious night, he found, on his table, seven letters. opening five, he found them to be all applications, some of them most painful in their details, for the admission of new inmates. his excited mind could not bear it. without opening the other two letters he threw them to his wife. 'put them into the fire,' he said, and turned to seek relief in the open air. 'john,' said a sweet voice, 'this won't do. come back.' so he did, taking up the sixth letter, which proved to be from a stranger, enclosing a check for three hundred pounds. the other envelope gave him just what was needed, just that and no more. he thanked god, and took courage. will he ever again hear the sweet, sad voice, 'wherefore didst thou doubt?'" the lord did not forget the potatoes. "a correspondent of _arthur's magazine_ tells of a poor woman who had been washing for us, who said: 'seems as if the lord took very direct ways to reach people's feelings sometimes. now, i was astonished once in my life. i lived away out west, on the prairie, i and my four children, and i couldn't get much work to do, and our little stock of provisions kept getting lower and lower. one night, we sat hovering over our fire, and i was gloomy enough. there was about a pint of corn-meal in the house, and that was all. i said, 'well, children, may be the lord will provide something.' '_i do hope it will be a good mess of potatoes_,' said cheery little nell; 'seems to me _i never was so hungry for taters before_.' after they were all asleep, i lay there tossing over my hard bed, and wondering what i would do next. all at once, the sweetest peace and rest came over me, and i sank into such a good sleep. next morning, i was planning that i would make the tinfull of meal into mush, and fry it in a greasy frying-pan, in which our last meat had been fried. as i opened the door to go down to the brook to wash, i saw something new. _there, on the bench, beside the door, stood two wooden pails and a sack. one pail was full of meat, the other full of potatoes, and the sack filled with flour_. i brought my hands together in my joy, and just hurrahed for the children to come. little dears! they didn't think of trousers and frocks then, but came out all of a flutter, like a flock of quails. their joy was supreme. they knew the lord had sent some, of his angels with the sack and pails. oh, it was such a precious gift! _i washed the empty pails, and put the empty sack in one of them, and, at night, i stood them on the bench where i had found them, and, the next morning, they were gone_. i tried and tried to find out who had befriended us, but i never could. the lord never seemed so far off after that time,' said the poor woman, looking down with tearful eyes." the prayer in the woods. a friend relates the following incident, as received from the lips of a poor afflicted, crippled orphan boy, whose own experience is a practical illustration of the words: "when my father and my mother forsake me, then the lord will take me up." ps. xxvii . "out of many instances of answered prayer i will tell the following one: in august, , i wished to go to lowell, a distance of some thirty miles, or more. i had no money, and did not know how to get there. i asked the station-agent and the conductor, but each refused, saying it would not be consistent with their duty. knowing of no human help, i left the depot and went into the woods, some ways from the station, where i could be alone, and tell that friend who is able to provide, and who is rich unto all that call upon him. i knelt down beside the stump of a tree and prayed, and told the lord all about it, and asked him either to give me money, or provide some way that i could go where i desired. i felt that the lord heard and answered me, and filled my soul with praise and joy. the language of my heart was, 'bless the lord.' "as i turned and was going out of the woods, i heard a voice saying, 'halloo.' as i had seen no one, and knew not that any human being was near, i was surprised at this greeting. 'halloo!' said the stranger,' i never heard such a prayer in my life. why did you go and pray?' i told him that i felt heavy, burdened, and i took the burden to the lord. he said, 'i heard you pray--you want money, do you? the lord has opened the way; here is five dollars. it is the best way to go to the lord, and trust him to open the way. go and use the money.' i thanked him, and i thanked the lord, and went oh my way rejoicing in him whose promise is,' my god shall supply all your needs,' and who himself had heard and answered my request." the lord can do it. "in one of the mountainous towns--says _the christian_--in the north- western part of connecticut, there lived, some time since, an aged couple who had seen some eighty years of earthly pilgrimage, and who, in their declining days, enjoyed the care of a son and daughter, who resided with them at their home. "in process of time, the son became sick, and drew nigh the gates of death. the doctor pronounced him incurable, saying that one lung was consumed, and that he could live but a short time. "the fear of her brother's death, and the thoughts of being left alone to bear the responsibility of the aged parents' care, burdened the sister's heart exceedingly, and led her to cry mightily to the lord, to interpose for his recovery, and spare him still to them; and her importunate supplications ascended to god, until the answer came to her heart as a sacred whisper,--'i have heard thy cry, and have come down to deliver thee.' "comforted by this sweet assurance, she rejoiced exceedingly, knowing that what our heavenly father promises he is abundantly able to perform, and that he will fulfill his word, though heaven and earth shall pass away. but her faith was destined to be tried, and, on the very day after she had obtained the assurance of her brother's recovery, in came some one, saying, 'the doctor says s---- can live but a little time.' for an instant, these words were like a dagger to the sister's heart, but she still held fast her confidence, and replied: 'if _men_ can't cure him, the _lord_ can.' "from that very moment, the brother began to amend. on the next day, when the physician came, he looked at him, commenced examining his symptoms, and exclaimed in astonishment: 'what have you been doing? you are evidently better, and i don't know but you will get up, after all.' "his recovery was so rapid, that in two weeks' time he was out about his customary duties on the farm; and that in weather so damp and foggy that it would have kept some stronger men in-doors. but he was well; the prayer of faith was answered, and it had saved the sick." answer to prayer in all the little temporal anxieties of life the question having been asked, "does god answer prayer, in even all the little anxieties and cares of daily life." _the illustrated christian weekly_, called in , for testimonies of the surety of god in fulfilling his promise, and giving answer in little things as well as great things. many, even good christians have believed that they should not pray for anything for themselves, but only for those things which were to be used for god's work. the following instances show that those who are devoted to god's good work and helping in his service can ask for anything needed for their personal comfort, and expect the lord to grant them. in truth the lord _has commanded_ all his disciples, "_ask and receive, that your joy may be full." "anything that ye shall ask in my name, i will do it_." bread to the hungry. "god was pleased to deprive me totally of my hearing in early boyhood. by the late war i lost all of my earthly possessions. i have a wife and family totally dependent on me for a support. a man employed to attend to my little manufacturing business as manager, by imprudent management, deprived me of every earthly dependence for a support. i had no refuge but god. this feeling was intense beyond expression--god was my only hope. i laid my case before him. then this came to me, 'seek first the kingdom of god and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.' 'now,' i said, 'i am deeply conscious that i and my wife seek and desire the kingdom of god above all things; god then will give us temporal help.' then a feeling came over me, a feeling of waiting upon god. it was sweet waiting. i was at rest. i had thought frequently if i could get _two hundred dollars_ i could start my little business again. while thus trusting, and waiting, and praying, a package was handed to me by the express-agent containing $ from a stranger in a distant county, against whom i held an old note dated ; and for many years i had forgotten the note, and would have taken twenty-five cents for it any time. the man was bankrupt, and did not fear the lord, nor know anything of my situation in life. he was under no legal obligation to pay the note." no "ifs." "a number of years ago i went west to better my condition.... after a little time i went into business of my own, had but little capital, and my good name to be punctual in paying for what i bought on credit was of great importance to me. i had promised to pay on a certain day a note of about $ . i thought i was sure to get the money, but was disappointed; i went to the lord for help, not knowing how he could send me the money, but convinced that he was able to do it. at about noon the same day a man inquired for me. i knew him by sight; he had the name of being a hard man, took all the interest he could get, and never put any money out without security. he had not the note, but he asked me if i wanted to hire any money; if so he had _sixty dollars_ he would like to let me have. the man took my note and never did ask for any security. "at another time, being away from home some , miles, was at the house of an uncle; same evening i received a letter from my wife that the children were very sick and but little hope of recovery. the letter had been written for over a week. i communicated the contents of the letter to my aunt; went up in my room and prayed the lord to be their physician. i felt so sure that my prayer would be answered that i could not help singing; when they heard me they thought what a cold-hearted man i must be to sing if the children were dying at home. _but from, that day the children did get better, and in a short time were out of danger_. "in my younger years i had a good many ifs, but those are all gone; i know that the lord has the means at his command to answer all my prayers if i come believing, asking in the name of christ." the horse is his. "the writer was preaching sundays at a little country church, about miles by rail from the institution where he attended. he went saturday, returning on monday. one saturday the train ran off the track. all day long they worked at the wreck. at last, finding it too late to make connection with the other railroad, he took the down train back to the institution. what should be done? a promise to preach forty miles across the country had been made. there was also an appointment six miles beyond for an afternoon service. it was now night. to drive across the country was the only way open, or stay at home. two disappointed congregations the result in the latter case. but the roads were heavy from recent rains. 'twill be so late that none can direct. friends said, 'stay; you can't go forty miles across, to you, an unknown country.' but the writer felt it duty to go. hiring a horse noted for endurance, at nine o'clock at night--dark, threatening--he set out. as he headed the horse in the direction of the village--for he could find none who could tell him the exact road--he prayed: 'o god, starting out to preach thy word to-morrow, direct the way--guide this horse.' the night wore on; as cross-roads came, dropping the lines over the dashboard, the same prayer was offered. when the horse chose a road, the driver urged him on. as day began to break, emerging from some wood in an unfrequented road, they entered the village they sought. the sermon that morning was from the text, 'son, go work to-day in my vineyard.' the largest congregation of the summer had gathered. it will not do to say that the horse knew the road. returning in broad daylight the next day, though directed and directed again, we lost the way and went seven miles out of our course. a scientist might laugh at this way of driving, or at asking god to guide in such trivial matters. but we shall still believe that god led the horse and blessed us in our attempt to serve him." all our needs. "about eight years ago, while a student in college, i became embarrassed for want of funds. debts began to accumulate. anticipating money from usual sources, promises had been made to pay at a certain date. "the time to make these payments approached. the anticipated money did not come. a student in debt is most dependent and hopeless. in great distress, locking the study-door, i sat down to think. first came visions of an auction sale of a few books and scanty furniture; then of notes and protests; finally the promises of god came into mind. i knew he had promised to supply my wants. 'all things whatsoever ye have need of,' came home in great power. i am needy, i have given up business, all, to preach the gospel. i remember as 'twere yesterday the feelings, the struggles, of that hour. with all earnestness i asked for help in my hour of distress. at last i felt confident that the aid needed would come in time, saturday; this was monday. i thanked god for the answer-- and being questioned by a needy creditor of that afternoon, assured him that his money would be ready. "tuesday, wednesday, thursday passed--no sign, but faith said god will not fail. friday morning--heart beat fast as i went to the post-office--it seemed as if through its agency the help would come. nothing. but it must be here to-day. returning from the office friday evening, wondering how god would send deliverance, i saw on my table a long official envelope. a classmate preceding me at the office had brought it. a letter from a gentleman in wall street whom i have never seen. on monday, he casually asked of a tea-broker, an acquaintance, if he knew of any one in h----. the broker mentioned, after a little thought, my name. "the letter contained a request for service of a peculiar sort, connected with some legal matters, contained money and promise of more. _over three times the sum i asked god for was finally given. more than enough for a term's expenses_. "i never mentioned the matter of my need at that time to a human being, nor spoke of the prayer. i have always thanked god for that, and am sure he provides for me in accordance with his promise." he healeth the sick. "the wife of deacon w. was sinking rapidly with pneumonia. friends gave up all hope of her recovery, and even the hopeful physician felt that he was hoping against hope. in his despair the husband bore the case directly to god; he sought the prayers of his minister and of the church; and he asked all christians to pray that the mother of his little children might be spared. she lingered between life and death for several days, when unexpectedly to many, she began to gain strength, and in due season was about again. this was several years ago, and she has been an active worker in the church and sunday-school ever since." a powerful dream. "my father, a minister of the gospel, was prostrated by sickness. a large family of little ones was dependent upon him for support. funds ran low. one evening my mother remarked that she had broken the last dollar. my father lay awake most of the night, praying to his god for help in this emergency. that same night a man in a parish not many miles distant was much impressed by a dream. he dreamed that a minister who preached in his church not long before, was sick and in want. he knew neither his name nor his place of residence. he arose at the first dawn of day, and going to his own pastor inquired the name and address of the stranger who had recently preached for them. these obtained, he mounted his horse, and knocked at our door just as my mother drew up the window-shades. she answered the knock, when, without a word, a stranger placed an envelope in her hand and immediately rode away. the envelope contained a ten-dollar bill, which we all believed was the lord's answer to our father's prayer. afterwards these facts were disclosed by the pastor to him whom the lord chose to disperse his bounty." ask and ye shall receive. "in , through providence, i became sore pressed to provide for myself and family; two of my children had just begun to learn to read. i was desirous to procure for them the 'n.---,' (a children's journal,) but i could not see how i was to pay for it and meet other obligations. so i carried it to our father in heaven, asking if it was best and according to his will my children should get the 'n.---.' in about ten days afterward i received a note from a lady friend, with whom i or none of our family had had any communication for weeks, and in that note she advised us that her little daughter, the same age as our second, had sent as a christmas gift a subscription for the 'n.---,' to be sent to our mary's address. 'if ye abide in me, and my words in you, ye shall ask what ye will and it shall be done unto you.'" casting all your care on him. "once, soon after the death of my husband and the loss of all his large property, i had a bill of _fifty dollars_ to pay, and was notified two weeks beforehand that not a day's grace would be given. besides what i was earning by my pen, i had due me, in a neighboring city, just the amount i should need--the income on my only remaining piece of real estate; and, as my tenant was always prompt, i wrote to him where to send me the money, and gave the subject no farther thought. but, when the time for his response was already past, and i heard nothing from my debts, and but a few days to the time of my own need yet remained, i felt anxious and sought divine direction as to the course i ought to pursue. rising from my knees, i took up my bible, and the very first words my eyes rested upon, were these: 'casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you.' all anxiety from that hour left me; but i felt impelled to apply to a certain editor for the payment of _twenty dollars_ he owed me, and i felt sure the other thirty would come from somewhere. "so the days passed until the morning of the day upon which i should be called on for the fifty dollars, and _still i had not a single dollar_ on hand to meet the claim. at ten o'clock my creditor came, but half an hour before him the postman had put into my hand a letter containing a check for _fifty dollars_, the exact amount i needed. it had come from the editor to whom i had applied for twenty dollars, and lo! he had sent me fifty. the thirty advanced he said i could give him credit for on my next ms. he did not know my need, but god did, and thus he had answered my prayer." in everything make known your wants. "six years ago, on the low country of south carolina, a friend asked me to go with him to a camp-meeting. i was delighted with the idea, for, in my estimation, a good camp-meeting comes nearer heaven than any other place on earth. "just three days before we were to go, an unexpected circumstance connected with his business, made it impossible for him to leave. it was with real heartfelt sorrow i heard of it. the day before we were to have started, as i saw another member of the family, who was going with a friend, packing her trunk, it seemed to me i could not bear it. i carried my trouble to my dear heavenly father, begging him to send me a way to go. "i rose from my knees with the sweet assurance in my heart my prayer was heard--packed my trunk and waited patiently. when night came and the men came home, in the place of the expected buggy came a small spring-wagon, and a seat for me. what may seem more remarkable, the change between buggy and spring-wagon was made ten miles away, while i was praying. "i believe i enjoyed the meeting more for the feeling of thankfulness that pervaded my whole being while there." the great physician. "nearly five years ago, after a decline of almost two years, i was brought very near to the grave. medical aid availed nothing. i was fearfully emaciated, and my death was daily expected. a devoted mother and a sister, who had watched over me tenderly during my long illness, were completely exhausted. "i determined to apply to the great physician, as directed in james : . as i united with others in prayer, unconsciously i uttered these words, 'i shall yet praise thee in the great congregation.' all present felt assured that it was the will of god to restore me to health. appearances were against me; for some time i could sleep but very little, and there was no perceptible gain. but trusting in the sure promise, the next sabbath i rode a short distance to church, and, as i thus ventured out little by little, my strength gradually returned. a few months later, my mother, who through disease had been in a state of despair for some years, was enabled again to hope in god's mercy." shall save the sick. "i was desperately ill. my physicians had done all in their power, without success--and yet i lived! for my father's sake, the hearts of hundreds waited the issue, and prayed for me! for his sake, the bells in the neighborhood were tied--the criers did not come within sound of the house--nor was the sound of wheels heard upon the street. there was a death-like stillness without and within. "the physicians sat with folded hands and wept, because the blow seemed too heavy for my father to bear--the thought that i was going to die without any assurance that i trusted in my saviour! "'it cannot be,' he said, 'i will wrestle with my god until he hears me!' sunday came. in almost every church a special prayer was offered for my recovery. after morning service, a band of devoted women met, and offered fervent prayers that god would spare my life. evening came--the weary doctors went home, leaving the last sacred moments to my parents. early next morning they came again, and exclaimed, as they entered the room, 'she is better! prayer has saved her!' i still live, 'a spared monument of god's mercy.'" all-sufficient for all need. "i am a mother of seven children. by the help of our father in heaven, we have all of us gone regularly to church and sunday-school. we are poor; and at length the time came we were not clothed so we could comfortably go to church. i earnestly asked our father to show me, within a week, which was right for us to do: to go in debt for clothes, or stay at home. within that week, i received a large package of ready-made clothing. the clothing came from a source i never thought of receiving anything from." a very present help in trouble. "at one time, during a season of adversity, there was urgent occasion for a certain sum beyond the income of the family, and there was no way of borrowing it. i took the matter to the lord in prayer, asking him, if the money were really needed, as it appeared to be, to send it, and, if it were not, to remove the distressing circumstances. the answer came in a sum five times the amount asked for, and in a manner totally unexpected." * * * * * "at another time, the mother of the family was very ill, and, when apparently near death, the physicians had ordered a remedy which was to be constantly employed, as her life, so far as they could judge, depended on its use. one night, her symptoms became so alarming as to compel the writer (who had charge of the nursing) to use this remedy more freely than ever, and, about midnight the supply was exhausted. there was no possibility of obtaining any more before morning, and the rest of that night, while attending to the other directions of the doctors, i spent in one earnest, agonizing prayer that god would so overrule natural causes that death would not occur in consequence of what i felt to be my own culpable carelessness in not having provided a larger quantity of an article so necessary. in his great mercy, he granted the prayer, the dangerous symptoms did not increase during the seven or eight hours that intervened before the remedy could be procured. one proof that it was a special mercy, is found in the fact that there was no other such standing still of the disease, either before this or afterward. and the doctors were astonished when they saw that the disease had made no progress, under conditions that rendered that progress inevitable in the usual law of cause and effect. and when, on her final recovery, doctor parker told her that she owed her life to the good care i had taken of her, my thoughts went back to the long hours of that night of anguish, and i said, 'it was the lord that took care of her.' 'i meant your care, under providence,' was the reply." he shall direct thy paths "i am a teacher by profession, and, a few years ago, i found myself placed in a school whose every surrounding was utterly repugnant to my tastes, and to all my ideas of right and wrong and what good teaching should be. at first, i kept hoping that things would grow better, and that i should, at least, be able to have some influence on the modes of teaching; but i soon found that everything connected with the establishment was directed by the iron will of an unscrupulous and tyrannical woman, whose laws were as irrevocable as those of the medes and persians. i at once decided i could not stay there long, but i had no other position in view, and it was not easy to secure one in the middle of the term. as usual, i made it a subject of prayer, and the result was that, in a short time, i was most unexpectedly, and without the least solicitation on my part, offered a much better position, in every respect, which, of course, i was only too thankful to accept. that is only one instance, out of thousands i could name, where god has heard and answered my prayers, and i believe he will do so to the end." how the lord is constantly caring for his trusting poor. a city missionary recently found, in this city on the streets, a refined englishwoman with her children, who had been turned out of her home for non-payment of rent. with the aid of a few friends he installed her in a new domicile, and procured work for her. from time to time he visited her, and rejoiced with her that god had sent him to her in the hour of extremity. at length, pressure of business kept him away for some time, until, one evening, he started out to look up a few dollars owing him, in order to procure some delicacies for a sick wife. one dollar was all he could procure, and with that in his pocket he was returning homeward, when he became so impressed with the idea that he should visit the englishwoman that he turned aside and did so. he found her in tears, and asking the cause, heard the sorrowful tale of no work, no food in the house for to-morrow, which was sunday. he was in doubt whether to give her the dollar and suffer his sick wife to go without something palatable, but in a moment, "blessed is he that considereth the poor; the lord will deliver him in time of trouble," presented itself to his mind, and--the dollar dried the widow's tears. upon reaching his home he found a lady had called on his wife and brought with her three or four kinds of jellies, fruit, home-made biscuit, various relishing things; three times more than the dollar would have purchased. the same gentleman, while calling on a poor family one day, discovered a little house in the rear, which he visited, finding a neat, cleanly room, occupied by an old lady, crippled with rheumatism. he found she had no one in the world but a sister, a monthly nurse, to care for her. when first setting out on his tour that morning, the missionary had fifty cents given him by a gentleman, who expressed the hope that "it might do some good during the day." although a number of visits had been made, he had not felt called upon to bestow it until then, nor could he tell why he should want to put it in the old lady's hand at parting, but he did so. she was too much overcome by her emotions to speak, but she took his hand and led him to a little table, on which lay a bible, opened at the passage, "whatsoever ye shall ask the father in my name, he will give it you." she said, "please tell me if any one sent you here?" "no." "did you ever hear that i lived here?" "i did not." "then the lord sent you in answer to my prayer this morning. for the first time in my life, i am without food. my sister was to have come home yesterday, but has not. i was just asking the lord to provide for me when you knocked at the door." such scenes as these amply repay our missionaries for all the toils and weariness, all the anxieties and perplexities of the work. a prayer for bread. "washington allston, who stood at the head of american artists a half century ago, was, at one time, so reduced by poverty, that he locked his studio, in london, one day, threw himself on his knees and prayed for a loaf of bread for himself and wife. while thus engaged, a knock was heard at the door, which the artist hastened to open. a stranger inquired for mr. allston, and was anxious to know who was the fortunate purchaser of the painting of the 'angel uriel,' which had won the prize at the exhibition of the royal academy. he was told that it was not sold. 'where is it to be found?' 'in this very room,' said allston, producing a painting from a corner and wiping off the dust. 'it is for sale, but its value has not been adequately appreciated, and i would not part with it.' 'what is its price?' 'i have done affixing any nominal sum. i have always so far exceeded any offers, i leave it to you to name the price.' 'will four hundred pounds be an adequate recompense?' 'it is more than i ever asked for it.' 'then the painting is mine,' said the stranger, who introduced himself as the marquis of stafford, and, from that time, became one of mr. allston's warmest friends and patrons." the daughter's prayer. the late doctor krummacher, chaplain to the king of prussia, in referring to faith and prayer, writes as follows: "a little incident occurs to me which i can hardly withhold, on account of its simplicity and beauty. the mother of a little girl, only four years of age, had been, for some time, most dangerously ill. the physician had given her up. when the little girl heard this, she went into an adjoining room, knelt down, and said: 'dear lord jesus, o make my mother well again.' "after she had thus prayed, she said, as though in god's name, with as deep a voice as she could: 'yes, my dear child, i will do it gladly!' this was the little girl's amen. she rose up, joyfully ran to her mother's bed, and said: 'mother, you will get well!' "and she recovered, and is in health to this day. is it, then, always permitted for me to pray thus unconditionally respecting temporal concerns? no; thou must not venture to do so, if, whilst you ask, you doubt. but shouldst thou ever be inclined by god's spirit to pray thus, without doubt or scruple, in a filial temper, and with simplicity of heart, resting on the true foundation, and in genuine faith, then pray thus by all means! none dare censure thee; god will accept thee." the lord will provide. "a city missionary, one saturday night, was going home with a basket of provisions on his arm. meeting a policeman, he asked him if there had any families moved in the bounds of his beat during the week. he answered, 'yes,' and, pointing to a building up an alley, said, 'a woman and some children are living there now.' "the missionary went to the house, rapped at the door, and was admitted. the woman was sitting by a small light, sewing. in the corner of the room, were two little girls, apparently from nine to twelve years of age, playing. "the missionary said, 'madam, i am here to see if you will allow your girls to attend sunday-school to-morrow morning.' 'i would, sir; but what you see on them is all the clothing they have, and you would not wish them to go as they are now.' 'the lord will provide, madam. have you no money?' 'not yet, but i have committed my case into the hands of the lord.' 'have you anything to eat?' 'nothing, sir!' 'what will you do for breakfast?' 'o, sir, i once had a husband; he provided when he could. these children had a father; he supplied their wants; but he is dead now. yet my maker, even god, is my husband, and he has promised to be a father to the fatherless. we have committed all to him, have called upon him in this our day of trouble. i am trusting in god to take care of a poor widow and her children in a strange place, and i know he will provide.' 'thank god for such faith,' said the missionary; and, handing her the basket, said 'here is your breakfast, and you shall have the clothing for your children.' with tears streaming down her face, she replied: 'oh, thank god for his faithfulness! he heareth and answereth prayer. may he bless you!' and, said our dear brother to us, 'i felt the promise was sure, for she was blessed in receiving, i was more so in giving.'" a prayer for a load of wood. here is an illustration of the way in which god sends relief in trouble. the story is told by the christian woman to whom it happened, in her own language: "about the month of january, , i was living in connecticut, alone with two little boys, one of them four years old, and the other about a year and a half old. my husband was away in the service of his country. when the coldest weather came, i was nearly out of wood. i went down into the village, one day, to try and get some, but tried in vain; so many men were away in the army that help was scarce. very little wood was brought into market, and those living on the main street, got all that came, while those who lived outside the village could get none. i tried to buy a quarter of a cord from two or three merchants, but could not get any. one of them told me he could not get what he wanted for his own family. another said he wasn't willing to yoke up his team for so small a quantity; but, as i only had a dollar and seventy-five cents, i could not buy any more, and so i was obliged to go home without any. i went back to my little ones, feeling very sad. but while i sat there, almost ready to cry, the words of abraham came into my mind, 'jehovah- jireh, the lord will provide.' then i went up to my chamber. there i knelt down and told god of my trouble, and asked him to help me and send the relief that we needed. then i went to the window and waited, looking down the street, expecting to see the wood coming. after waiting a while, without seeing any come, my faith began to fail. i said to myself, 'the lord did provide for abraham, but he won't provide for me.' our last stick of wood was put in the stove. it was too cold to keep the children in the house without fire. i got the children's clothes out, and thought i would take them to the house of a kind neighbor, where i knew they could stay till we got some wood. but, just as i was going out with the children, in passing by the window, i saw the top of a great load of wood coming up the road towards our little house. can that be for us? i asked myself. presently i saw the wagon turn off the road and come up towards our door. then i was puzzled to know how to pay for it. a dollar and seventy-five cents i knew would only go a little way towards paying for all that wood. the oxen came slowly on, dragging the load to our door. i asked the man if there wasn't same mistake about it. 'no, ma'am,' said he, 'there's no mistake.' 'i did not order it, and i cannot pay for it,' was my reply. 'never mind, ma'am,' said he, 'a friend ordered it, and it is all paid for.' then he unhitched the oxen from the wagon, and gave them some hay to eat. when this was done, he asked for a saw and ax, and never stopped till the whole load was cut and split and piled away in the woodshed. "this was more than i could stand. my feelings overcame me, and i sat down and cried like a child. but these were not bitter tears of sorrow. they were tears of joy and gladness, of gratitude and thankfulness. i felt ashamed of myself for doubting god's word, and i prayed that i might never do so again. what pleasure i had in using that wood! every stick of it, as i took it up, seemed to have a voice with which to say 'jehovah-jireh.' as abraham stood on the top of mount moriah he could say, 'the lord _will_ provide.' but every day, as i went into our woodshed, i could point to that blessed pile of wood sent from heaven, and say, 'the lord _does_ provide.'" a refractory man compelled to pay a debt. a refractory man who owed a small debt of about $ , refused to pay it all, but offered to do so if ten dollars was taken off. his creditor, feeling that it was just, declined to abate the amount. for more than a year the creditor waited, after having no attention paid to his correspondence or, claim by the debtor, who exhibited unmistakable obstinacy and want of courtesy. at last it was put into the hands of a lawyer. the lawyer, too, was fairly provoked at the faithlessness of the debtor in his promises or his attention to the subject; thus matters dragged wearily for months, yet exercised leniency in pressing the claim. the creditor, whose forbearance had now reached the extremity of endurance, at last was led to take it to the lord in prayer; saying he would "willingly forgive the whole debt if in anything he was wrong, but if the lord thought it was right, hoped that his debtor _might be compelled to pay the amount he so obstinately withheld_." to the astonishment of all, a letter received from the lawyer four days after, informed him _that his debtor had called and paid the claim in full_ with interest to date. "in doing so, he said he paid it _under protest_," thus showing he was _compelled by something he could not resist to pay it all_. a hurricane passes around a ship. a sea captain relates to the editor of the _christian_, a remarkable incident, whereby in one of his voyages his ship was unaccountably held still, and thereby saved from sailing directly into the midst of a terrible hurricane:--"we sailed from the kennebec on the first of october, . there had been several severe gales, and some of my friends thought it hardly safe to go, but after considerable prayer i concluded it was right to undertake the voyage. on the th of october we were about one hundred and fifty miles west of the bahamas, and we encountered very disagreeable weather. _for five or six days we seemed held by shifting currents, or some unknown power, in about the same place. we would think we had sailed thirty or forty miles_, when on taking our observations we would find we _were within three or four miles of our position the day before_. this circumstance occurring repeatedly proved a trial to my faith, and i said within my heart, '_lord, why are we so hindered, and kept in this position_?' day after day we were held as if by an unseen force, until at length a change took place, and we went on our way. reaching our port they inquired, 'where have you been through the gale?' '_what gale_?' we asked. '_we have seen no gale_.' we then learned that a terrible hurricane had swept through that region, and that all was desolation. we afterwards learned that _this hurricane had swept around us, and had almost formed a circle around the place occupied by us during the storm. a hundred miles in one direction all was wreck and ruin, fifty miles in the opposite direction all was desolation; and while that storm was raging in all its fury, we were held in perfect safety, in quiet waters_, and in continual anxiety to change our position and pursue our voyage _one day of ordinary sailing would have brought us into the track of the storm, and sent us to the bottom of the sea._ we were anxious to sail on, but some unseen power held us where we were, and we escaped." the captain was a prayerful man, trusting in his lord, though his faith was tried, and he thought the lord was not helping him. yet the lord was keeping his promise to him, "_the beloved of the lord shall dwell in safety by him, and the lord shall cover him all the day long_." recovery from spinal disease. "miss m---- is the daughter of a respectable farmer, an elder in a presbyterian church in western pennsylvania. when a young girl her spine was injured while nursing her aged and helpless grandmother, and she has been a great sufferer for many years. for eleven years she has not been able to attend church nor to go from home, and for a long time was unable to leave her chamber or her bed. two years ago she was so ill that hopes of her recovery were abandoned, her mind was thought to be seriously, even hopelessly impaired. her physician acknowledged that her disease baffled his skill. "a few months ago, being near her residence and hearing that her health was better, i called on her, and to my surprise, found her able to sew, walk about, and even go down stairs. she informed me that she suffered so intensely from the remedies used for her cure, and constantly grew worse, that she determined to do nothing more; it seemed like fighting against god; she would put herself into his hands to do with her as he pleased. then it seemed to her that the saviour came to her and said, 'm----, what aileth thee?' she told him all her case, and he soothed and comforted her. from that time she began to improve; the paroxysms of pain grew less, and disappeared; her nervousness was relieved, she could sleep, her mind was full of peace. she said, 'i am not cured, and do not expect to be well, but i can bear what i have to suffer, and am willing to depart whenever it is the lord's will to take me away to himself.'" prayer for a pair of boots. in the fall of , h----, a student in the theological seminary at princeton, n.j., was in great need of a new pair of boots. his toes were sticking out of his old ones, and he had no money to purchase new ones. all the money he could command was barely enough to pay his fare to his home, where be had promised a dear friend to be present on the approaching communion sabbath. h---- was a man of great faith, and was accustomed to carry all his wants to god in prayer. to god he carried the present emergency, and earnestly importuned him, that he would send him a pair of boots, and that he would do it before the approaching sabbath. he was persuaded that god heard, and would answer his petition, yet his faith was sorely tried. saturday morning came and still there was no answer; he resolved, however, to go to his home, fully persuaded that god would in good time grant his request. he took the morning train at the princeton depot, and reached home about eleven o'clock. it was a hard trial for him to go to "preparatory lecture" with his boots in the condition they were in; yet at two o'clock he went, still praying that god would send him a new pair of boots. during the service, a merchant in the town took a seat in the same pew with him, and at the close of the service, without a word being spoken on the subject, the merchant, after shaking hands with h---- and inquiring of his welfare, asked him if he would do him the favor of going down town to a certain boot and shoe store and select from the stock as good a pair of boots as he could find, and, said the merchant, "have them charged to me." it was, as, h---- said to me on his return to the seminary, a direct answer to prayer. indeed, it might be said of h---- that he went through college and seminary _on prayer_. he laid all his plans before god, pleaded his promises, and never was disappointed. under garments in answer to prayer. among the students in the theological seminary at princeton, n.j., in , was my intimate friend l----. he was at the time poorly clad, but was a devoted christian, and is at present a successful foreign missionary. one day when on the seminary campus, i heard two of the students very thoughtlessly criticising the exceeding shabbiness of l----'s wearing apparel, his short pants, old shoes, and socks with no heels in them. at almost every step l---- took when playing ball, his bare heels could be seen. that day, after evening prayers, i took l---- by the arm, for a walk to "orthodox point," a tree about a mile distant from the seminary. during our walk, i gently told him of the criticisms i had heard, and learned more fully than i had ever done of his destitution of wearing apparel, especially of under garments. i offered him a share of mine, or the loan of money, so as to meet his present wants, but this he declined to receive, saying, that he "would take it to the lord in prayer," and that god would in good time supply all his wants. i, too, bore his case to the throne of grace. the next day after this, on going into his room, he laid before me an empty envelope, and a five dollar bill, and asked me the question, "did you throw that envelope with that bill in it, through that ventilator?" i assured him that i did not. "well," said he, "when i came in from recitation a short time ago, i found this envelope on the floor and that five dollar bill in it. it has evidently been thrown in through the ventilator." we both recognized god's hand in the provision made and mentally gave thanks to our heavenly father. soon after this, "a missionary box" was sent to the seminary, and my friend was therefrom well supplied with under garments. frequently afterward did he say to me, in substance, "prayer is the key to god's treasury. trust in him and the lord will provide." unexpected relief. henry badgerow was a man about seventy years of age at the time of the incident, and a resident of steuben county, state of new york. this was in the year about a.d. - . he had been for many years an invalid-- so much so that he couldn't walk--the result of a horse running away with him. in a forest, isolated from neighbors, the old man resided alone with an aged wife. they were quite poor, and wholly dependent upon the labor of a son who worked away from home for others. this son was at length taken sick with a fever, and unable to minister to his parents' wants. this was in mid-winter, when storms were frequent and the snows deep and lasting. one evening when the storm was at its highest, this old couple found themselves without a particle of food in the house. matters were desperate with them. they could see but starvation staring them in the face. they resolved upon prayer, having a firm trust in their heavenly father, whom for many years they had been humbly serving. they did not retire, but continued in fervent prayer that god would send them food. about two and a half miles distant lived a young married man in comfortable circumstances, by the name of joseph clason (the author of the story). he was not at this time a christian, although it was not long after this he was converted, and has since lived an eminently active and godly life. about o'clock on the night of the snow storm above mentioned, young clason awoke. his first thoughts were of old mr. badgerow and his condition in that storm. his mind became so impressed with the thought of him, and so wrought upon that he could not again go to sleep, although trying so to do. at length he awakened his wife, told her that he was in trouble about mr. b., for fear he and his wife were starving. she replied that if he would get right up and make a light, she would prepare something, and that he had better take it right down. young c. did so, taking with him a pail of provisions. after a jaunt through the storm and snow in the dead hour of night, he reached the old man's cabin. there he found a light burning. he knocked; the door was opened by the wife. the old man was fervently praying; but when he saw young c. with the pail of provisions, he held up both hands and said, "now i know that god heareth prayer. not one mouthful have we in the house to eat. i know that god sent you here." young c. staid with the old couple until daylight. the conversation revealed that about midnight the old man perceiving that a storm had arisen, and that unless relief came, which was not likely, they would starve, resolved to appeal to his heavenly father, saying that god who sent the ravens to feed elijah would feed him if he went to him in faith, and now god had heard his prayer, and he blessed god that he could do so in all trouble and trial. the old man having asked c. how he came to visit them, he replied he didn't know, but supposed god had sent him, as he had awoke and couldn't again sleep on account of thought of him. the incident made a serious and lasting impression on young c's mind. in the morning, as c. was returning home, he came by his father's house; his mother, espying his pail, wished to know where he had been. he replied, "to feed the hungry." his father spreading the incident, the neighbors all turned out and brought in enough provision to last them during several weeks, the old man being greatly loved and respected by his community, on account of his sterling christian life and character. mr. joseph clason is still living, now seventy-five years of age, in bazine, ness county, kansas. that beautiful christmas gift. how the lord used it. a lady and gentleman were walking up madison avenue, new york city, from church, when incidentally the lady said, "we are trying to get up christmas decorations and entertainment for our mission school." "_well, put my name down for anything you like_," and then came into his mind a certain sum to give. a day passed on, it seemed forgotten; but a note from the lady reminded him of his promise, and he responded, giving the exact sum originally thought of, $ . notice, now, the most singular disposition of it, which, by the hand of providence, was made to go on its circuitous way to meet those who needed it most. the next sabbath, the lady and gentleman again meeting each other, she said, "your gift was too large. i cannot take so much from you. i shall give you back part." "but i won't take it." "well, you must. i can't keep it." it resulted in the lady taking $ from her muff and forcing it back into the gentleman's hand. the gentleman felt badly. "_i intended this for the lord, and now it is refused. it is the first time i ever heard that money ever given to a sunday school was not wanted. i meant the whole for the. lord_. if she don't want it and wont keep it, i will give the rest away. _it does not belong to me_." before night he had enclosed it in a letter and sent it out of the city to an invalid as a _christmas present_. he had occasion not long after to visit the invalid, and was fairly astonished at the extraordinary circumstances connected with its use; and this is his story, told in his letter to the lady who returned the $ . "the sequel to the $ is far more beautiful and wonderful than anything i have ever known. this invalid had been praying for some money for a needed article of dress to protect her from cold. _the_ $ _came the very next morning in answer to her prayer. but it was more than enough_. as a consistent christian, having asked the lord only for enough to meet but one need, she felt as if the rest belonged to the lord and must be used for him. so in wondering how to use it, she thought of a poor woman who needed a new calico dress, and at once bought it and gave it to her. she had but $ left. a dear friend was in distress; his horse and carriage had been seized for failure to pay the livery bill of their keeping; he could not collect any money of the debts due him, to pay his bill, and had nothing. his wife and children were in new britain, and here he was, no means to get there. the little christian invalid sent him her $ , the last money she had, not knowing where her next was to come from, with these words: "_the lord has sent you this_," and though he offered to return, or use only part, she said, "_no, the lord meant this for you_. you must keep it, i will not take it back." now see how beautifully all these incidents have been made to work for the good of many, by the managing hand of providence. "my original gift of $ to you was _more than enough_. you did not need it all for your sunday-school, and the lord made you force back the $ upon me. i could not keep it, because i felt, it belonged to the lord. so i sent it to the little invalid. "she, too, had only needed a part, and used only what she asked the lord for, and then she, in her turn, gave the rest away. the most wonderful part of it is, that the money you gave back to me, and i gave to the lord, was _three-fifths of the amount you received_, and the money the little invalid gave away _to the lord_ was also _three-fifths the amount she received. the money which you kept for your use was just two-fifths, and the money that the invalid kept for her own use was just two-fifths also. the very next day after she had given her money away_, a lady called and gave her some money, which _was precisely the same amount_ which _the poor woman's calico dress_ had cost, (though she knew nothing of the circumstances), and in return for the $ which she gave her friend in distress, and refused to take back, the lord remembered her and gave her a good home. the widow's wood and flour.--the unbelieving ones made speechless. the following instance is known to _the christian_ as true, and to a remarkable degree indicates how thoroughly god knows our minutest needs, and how effectively he makes those who ever reproach his name ashamed of their unbelief. "a friend and relative of the one who was 'a widow indeed,' one who trusted in god, and continued in supplications and prayers day and night, was once brought into circumstances of peculiar straitness and trial. she had two daughters who exerted themselves with their needles to earn a livelihood; and at that time they were so busily engaged in trying to finish some work that had long been on their hands, they had neglected to make provision for their ordinary wants until they found themselves one winter's day in the midst of a new england snow storm, with food and fuel almost exhausted, at a distance from neighbors, and without any means of procuring needful sustenance. "the daughters began to be alarmed, and were full of anxiety at the dismal prospect, but the good old mother said, 'don't worry, girls, the lord will provide; we have enough for to-day, and to-morrow may be pleasant,' and in this hope the girls settled down again to their labor. "another morning came, and with it no sunshine, but wind and snow in abundance. the storm still raged, but no one came near the house, and all was dark and dismal without. "noon came, and the last morsel of food was eaten, the wind was almost gone, and there were no tokens of any relief for their necessities. "the girls became much distressed, and talked anxiously of their condition, but the good mother said, 'don't worry, the lord will provide.' "but they had heard that story the day before, and they, knew not the strong foundation upon which that mother's trust was builded, and could not share the confidence she felt. "'if we get anything to-day the lord will have to bring it himself, for nobody else can get here if they try,' said one of the daughters, impatiently, but the mother said, 'don't worry.' and so they sat down again to their sewing, the daughters to muse upon their necessitous condition, and the mother to roll her burden on the everlasting arms." now mark the way in which the lord came to their rescue, and just at this moment of extremity, put it into the heart of one of his children to go and carry relief. _human nature_ at such a time would never have ventured out in such a storm, but waited for a pleasant day. but divine wisdom and power made him carry _just what was needed, in the face of adverse circumstances, and just at the time it was needed_. "mr. m. sat at his fireside, about a mile away, surrounded by every bounty and comfort needed to cheer his heart, with his only daughter sitting by his side. "for a long time not a word had been spoken, and he had seemed lost in silent meditation, till at length he said, 'mary, i want you to go and order the cattle yoked, and then get me a bag. i must go and carry some wood and flour to sister c.' "'why, father, it is impossible for you to go. there is no track, and it is all of a mile up there. you would almost perish.' "the old man sat in silence a few moments and said, 'mary, i must go.' she knew her father too well to suppose that words would detain him, and so complied with his wishes. while she held the bag for him, she felt perhaps a little uneasiness to see the flour so liberally disposed of, and said, 'i wish you would remember that _i_ want to give a poor woman some flour, if it ever clears off.' the old man understood the intimation and said, 'mary, give all you feel it duty to, and when the lord says stop, i will do so.' "soon all things were ready, and the patient oxen took their way to the widow's home, wallowing through the drifted snow, and dragging the sled with its load of wood and flour. about four o'clock in the afternoon, the mother had arisen from her work to fix the fire, and, looking out of the window, she saw the oxen at the door, and she knew that the lord had heard her cry. "she said not a word--why should she? she was not surprised!--but, presently, a heavy step at the threshold caused the daughters to look up with astonishment, as mr. m. strode unceremoniously into the room, saying, '_the lord told me, sister c, that you wanted some wood and flour_.' "'_he told you the truth_,' said the widow, 'and i will praise him forever.' "'_what think you now girls_?' she continued, as she turned in solemn joy to her unbelieving daughters. "_they were speechless_; not a word escaped their lips; but they pondered that new revelation of the providential mercy of the lord, until it made upon their minds an impression never to be effaced. "from that hour they learned to trust in him who cares for _his needy_ in the hour of distress, and who, from his boundless stores, supplies the wants of those who trust in him." a pair of shoes.--the lord's rebuke to those who "didn't believe." the following incident occurred in connecticut: in an humble cottage two sisters were watching over and caring for a much-loved brother, who, for many long months had been upon a bed of sickness. at length, the younger of them began to be discouraged. she was dependent, for her clothing, upon her labor; her shoes were worn out, and how should she get another pair, unless she could leave the sick bed and go away from home and work and earn some money. "well," said the mother, "i know you need a pair of shoes, but don't worry, the lord will provide." "_do you think that_ the lord _will come down from heaven and buy me a pair of shoes_?" said the younger sister, with an expression of discouragement and vexation on her countenance. "no," said the mother, "but perhaps he will put it into somebody's heart to buy you a pair." "perhaps he will, _but i don't believe it_," said the discouraged girl. "well," said the other sister, who was a little more hopeful, "you won't get them any quicker by fretting, so you might as well be quiet." then the subject dropped and the day passed as usual. as the shades of evening were gathering, a brother who lived at some distance, and who knew nothing of their previous conversation, called to inquire after their prosperity. after the customary salutations he said, "you have been sick here a long time, and i thought i would come round and see if i could not do something for you; thought perhaps by this time the girls needed something." then turning to the younger sister, he said, "_how is it, aren't your shoes worn out?"_ she dropped her eyes, blushed deeply, and, perhaps, a little conscience-smitten, answered not a word. nothing was said of the previous conversation, though it was not forgotten by those who heard it. the brother soon saw for himself enough to satisfy him, and said no more, but went away. the next day _two pairs of shoes_ were sent around to her, and with them came to her heart a lesson which she never forgot. she lived many years after that, but was never heard to murmur in that way again, and often said that the two pairs of shoes taught her to _wait, hope and trust_, and thereby learn implicit confidence in him who sendeth all blessings. the last time she alluded to the occurrence, she said, "_i was speechless then, but, by the grace of god, i will not be in the world to come_." the lame healed. rev. charles g. finney, during his life-time, was familiar with the circumstances connected with the remarkable healing of a sick lady in oberlin, o., the wife of rev. r.d. miller, and these facts were vouched for as unquestionably authentic. mr. finney says: "mrs. miller is the wife of a congregational minister, and a lady of unquestionably veracity. however the fact of her healing is to be accounted for, her story is no doubt worthy of entire confidence, as we have known her for years as a lame, suffering invalid, and now see her in our midst in sound health. this instantaneous restoration will be accounted for by different persons in different ways. mrs. miller and those who were present regard the healing as supernatural and a direct answer to prayer. the facts must speak for themselves. why should not the sick be healed in answer to the prayer of faith? unbelief can discredit them, but faith sees nothing incredible in such facts as are stated by mrs. miller. mrs. miller's own statement is as follows, and it is fully endorsed by the most reliable citizens and members of the first church at oberlin: "from my parents i inherited a constitution subject to a chronic form of rheumatism. in early life i was attacked with rheumatic weaknesses and pains, which affected my whole system. for nearly forty years i was subject to more or less suffering from this cause, sometimes unable to attend meeting for months at a time. for seven years, until the last three months, i have been unable to get about without the aid of crutch or staff, generally both. i have used many liniments and remedies, but with no permanently good result. i have been a christian from early life, but last spring, in our revival, i received a spiritual refreshing from the lord, which gave a new impulse to my faith. since then my religion has been a new life to me. "last summer, several of us christian sisters were in the habit of spending short seasons of prayer together, that the lord would send us a pastor. some of our number had read the narrative of dorothea trudel, and had spoken to me on the subject of healing in answer to prayer. my faith had not then risen to this elevation. i had in fact accepted what i supposed to be the will of god, and made up my mind to be a lame and suffering invalid the rest of my life. i had long since ceased to use remedies for the restoration of my health, and had not even thought of praying in regard to it, for i regarded it as the will of god that i should suffer in silent submission. "notwithstanding what had been said to me, i remained in this opinion and in this attitude until the th of september, , when several ladies met at our house, by appointment, for a prayer-meeting. i had been growing worse for some time, and was at that time unable to get out to attend a meeting. i was suffering much pain that afternoon; indeed, i was hardly able to be out of my bed. up to this time none of the sisters who had conversed with me about the subject of healing by faith, had been able to tell me anything from their own experience. that afternoon, one lady was present who could speak to me from her own experience of being healed in answer to the prayer of faith. she related several striking instances in which her prayers had been answered in the removal of divers forms of disease to which she was subject. she also repeated a number of passages of scripture, which clearly justified the expectation of being healed in answer to the prayer of faith. she also said that jesus had shown her that he was just as ready to heal diseases now as he was when on earth; that such healing was expressly promised in scripture, in answer to the prayer of faith, and that it was nowhere taken back. these facts, reasonings, and passages of scripture, made a deep impression on my mind, and, for the first time, i found myself able to believe that jesus would heal me in answer to prayer. she asked me if i could join my faith with hers and ask for present healing. i told her i felt that i could. we then knelt, and called upon the lord. she offered a mighty prayer to god, and i followed. while she was leading in prayer i felt a quickening in my whole being, whereupon my pain subsided, and when we rose from prayer i felt that a great change had come over me, that i was cured. i found that i could walk without my staff or crutch, or any assistance from any one. since then my pains have never returned; i have more than my youthful vigor; i walk with more ease and rapidity than i ever did in my life, and i never felt so fresh and young as i now do, at the age of fifty-two. "now, the hundred and third psalm is my psalm, and my youth is more than renewed, like the eagle's. i cannot express the constant joy of my heart for the wonderful healing of my soul and body. i feel as if i was every whit made whole." the testimony of eye-witnesses to this healing is as follows: "we were all present at the time of the healing, and know the facts to be true. we are all christians, and have no interest in deceiving anybody, and would by no means dishonor god by stating more than the exact truth. since the healing, mrs. miller is still with us, and in excellent health. neither the severe cold of last winter, nor the extreme heat of this summer, has at all injured her health. from our first acquaintance with her, she has been so lame as to be unable to walk, except by the aid of crutches. since which time she has been able to walk without help, and appears perfectly well." her husband, also adding his testimony, says: "she has been unable to walk without crutches for a series of years. a long time ago, we tried many remedies and physicians, with no lasting good results, and were expecting she would remain an invalid. of late, she had applied no remedy, nor taken any medicine. at the time of her cure, she was much worse than for a long while before, being in great pain continually, until the moment she fully believed, and, _in an instant_, she was restored to perfect soundness. from that moment to this she has not felt a particle of her former complaint. "she can now walk for miles as fast as i wish to, without feeling very much fatigue, does all her own housework, and attends seven meetings during the week. in short, she is stronger, and seems as young and spry, as when we were married, thirty-two years ago. the work of the dear savior in her cure seems to be perfect, and she is an astonishment to all who knew her before and see her now. to _his_ name be all the praise. "another lady, the same week my wife was healed, a member of the first congregational church, confined to her bed with a complicated disease, was prayed for, and restored at once to soundness." the wonderful cure of mrs. sherman. although there are so many cases of healing in answer to prayer, yet the incident of the healing of mrs. sherman is so minute, and resulted in such a radical change of the physical constitution, that it is necessary to relate it in full detail. it is too well proven to admit the possibility of a doubt. "mrs. ellen sherman is the wife of rev. moses sherman, and, at the time of this occurrence, in , they were residents of piermont, n.h. she had been an invalid for many years. in the winter after she was fifteen, she fell on the ice and hurt her left knee, so that it became weak and easy to slip out of joint. six years after, she fell again on the same knee, so twisting it and injuring the ligaments that it became partially stiff, and, the physician said, incurable. "the next summer, by very fast walking, one day, she brought on special weakness, which no physician was able to cure. from that moment she was subject to severe neuralgia, sick-headaches, at least monthly, and sometimes even weekly. "in december, , while stepping out of doors, she slipped, by reason of her stiff joint, and fell, striking near the base of the spine, directly across the sharp edge of the stone step. this caused such a sickness that she was obliged to leave the school she was attending. "three years after (in january, ), she fell at the top of a stairway, striking just as before, and sliding all the way down to the foot. this nearly paralyzed the spinal cord, and caused deep and permanent spinal disease. after this she was up and down for many years, attended by various physicians, yet nothing bettered, but, rather, growing worse. it may be said, for short, that every organ of the lower body became chronically diseased, and that the headaches increased in violence. "in september, , through a severe cold, she took her bed, where she lay, except when lifted from it, till the night of august , . she was unable to walk a step, or even stand. she could sit up only a short time without great distress. the best medical skill that could be procured gave only temporary relief. the spine grew worse in spite of every appliance, and the nervous sensitiveness and prostration were increasing. during the two or three weeks immediately preceding her cure she was especially helpless, two persons being required to lift her off and on the bed. on the monday before, one of her severest neuralgia sick-headaches came on. during wednesday she began to be relieved, but was still so sick that when, in the evening, she tried to have her clothes changed, she could only endure the change of her night-dress." it will be seen from this her utter physical helplessness, and not the slightest hope of any amelioration. during the night of august th, she enjoyed a blessed time of communion with her lord, giving herself, in all her helplessness, wholly to him to do as he wills. with feelings beyond all expression, she _felt_ the nearness of her mighty savior, and the sense of receiving a new and most delicious pulsation of new life. at last, though she had been bed-ridden for twelve months, and incapable of any bodily assistance, she felt an uncontrollable impulse to throw off the clothes of the bed with her left arm, and sprang out of bed upon her feet, and started to walk across the room. "her husband's first thought was that she was crazed, and would fall to the floor, and he sprang towards her to help her. but she put up her hands against him, saying with great energy, 'don't you touch me! don't you touch me!' and went walking back and forth across the room speaking rapidly, and declaring the work which jesus had been working upon her. "her husband, quickly saw that she was in her right mind, and had been healed by the lord, and his soul was filled with unutterable emotion. "one of the women of the household was called, also their son, twelve years old, and together they thanked god for the great and blessed wonder he had wrought. "in the morning, after a sleep of several hours, she further examined herself to see if entirely healed, and found both knees perfectly well; and though for sixteen years she had not been able to use either, now she lifted the left _foot_ and _put it upon the right knee_, thus proving the completeness of her restoration. "at the end of two years from her healing, inquiry having been made as to how thorough had been the work, mrs. sherman gave full and abundant evidence. 'i cannot remember a summer when i have been so healthy and strong, and able to work hard. i am a constant wonder to myself, and to others, and have been for the two years past. the cure exceeded my highest expectations at the time i was cured. i did not look forward to such a state of vigor and strength. no words can express my joy and gratitude for all this.' "the parents of mrs. sherman also testify of the wonderful change physically which occurred with the cure. "before, her appetite was always disordered, but on the very morning of the healing it was wholly changed, and her food, which distressed her formerly, she ate with a relish and without any pain following; and she so continues. for years before a natural action of the bowels was rare. from that day since, an unnatural one is equally rare. "for fifteen years, with few exceptions, she had had severe neuralgic sick headaches monthly or oftener. from that time she has been natural and without pain, with no return of the headaches, except a comparatively slight one once, from overdoing and a cold taken through carelessness. "there was also at that time an immediate and radical change in the action of the kidneys, which had become a source of great trouble before. moreover the knee which had been partially stiff for so many years was made entirely well. in fine, her body, which had been so full of pain, became at once free from pain, and full of health. "the week after she was healed she went fifty miles to attend a camp-meeting, riding five miles in a carriage, the rest by cars. a near neighbor said, 'she will come back worse than ever.' though the weather was especially bad, she came back better than when she went." these are but few out of many expressions respecting her extraordinary recovery, which fully satisfy the believing christian that _the great_ physician is with us now, "_healing the lame_," and curing the sick. it is faith only, unyielding, which the lord requires ere he gives his richest blessing. the unbelieving one simply sees in it "_something strange_," which he can not understand, but the faith-keeping christian knows it is the sign of his _precious lord_, in whom he trusts and abides forever. dr. newman hall's testimonies to the value of prayer. dr. newman hall, of london, in his wide experience has met with many incidents of answered prayer, and thus relates several: a prayer for thirty pounds. "on a recent evangelizing visit to newport, one of its citizens said to me, 'in yonder house dwell a man and wife, who recently needed a sum of £ to meet some payment the next morning. having failed in their efforts to collect it, they earnestly prayed god to provide it. the store was being closed for the night when a sea-captain knocked at the door and asked for some seamen's clothes. the gas was relighted, and various articles were selected; the purchaser then asked for the account, and the money was paid--_a little more than_ £ . the man and his wife thanked their heavenly father for sending it in this way in answer to prayer.'" recovery from dangerous illness. dr. newman hall was once visiting, on his dying bed, john cranfield, son of the great originator of ragged schools, under the ministry of rowland hill. "we were conversing on prayer. he said, 'a remarkable instance occurred in connection with my father. the former organist of surry chapel, mr. howard, was dangerously ill. he was greatly beloved, and his friends met for special prayer that god would spare his life. my father on that occasion was remarkably earnest in asking that the life of his friend might be lengthened, as in the case of hezekiah. the next day he began to recover; and during fifteen years was a blessing to his friends and the church.'" a sunday school teacher in distress. "my brother," says dr. hall, "told me that when superintendent of a sunday school he felt a strong impulse, one saturday evening, to call at the home of one of his teachers whom he had never visited before. he found his mother and sisters in such evident distress that he inquired the cause. with much reluctance they explained that, being unable to pay their taxes, their goods were to be taken on the coming monday, and they had been asking special help from god to save them from a disaster which they felt would be a dishonor to religion. by the aid of a few friends the difficulty was at once met, but the timely succor was regarded as the divine answer to their prayer." rescued in peril. "with my brother i was once climbing the _cirrha di jazze_, one of the mountains in the chain of _mount rosa_. when nearly at the top, we entered a dense fog. presently our guides faced right about and grounded their axes on the frozen snowed slope. my brother, seeing the slope still beyond, and not knowing it was merely the cornice overhanging a precipice of several thousand feet, rushed onward. i shall never forget their cry of agonized warning. he stood a moment on the very summit, and then, the snow yielding, he began to fall through. one of the guides, at great risk, had rushed after him, and seizing him by the coat, drew him down to a place of safety. "no one could be nearer death and yet escape. on his return home, an invalid member of his congregation told him that she had been much in prayer for his safety, and mentioned a special time when she was particularly earnest, as if imploring deliverance from some great peril. _the times corresponded._ his life was saved in answer to her prayer." a physical impediment removed. "a clergyman, of great scholarship and genius, has told me of a remarkable answer to prayer, authenticated by three missionaries known to himself, who are personally acquainted with the facts. "a prussian, the master of a hotel in india, was anxious to relinquish his large income, and labor as a missionary among the santil tribes. objection was made to him on account of an impediment in his speech which would render him, in speaking a foreign language, incapable of being understood. believing in the efficacy of prayer, he called together his friends, specially to ask that his impediment might be removed. the next morning, he presented himself again at the mission house--_the impediment had gone_! he was accepted, relinquished his business, and is now preaching the gospel to the santils in their own tongue." restoration from death. "my father, the author of the _sinner's friend_, narrates in his autobiography a circumstance which he often used to speak of with great emotion. "my mother was very ill, and apparently dying. the doctor said that now, if at all, the children might be brought for her to look at them once more. one by one we were brought to the bedside, and her hand was placed on our heads. "then my father bade her farewell, and she lay motionless as if soon to breathe her last. "he then said to himself, 'there is yet one promise i have not pleaded, "if ye ask anything in my name i will do it." he stepped aside, and in an agony of soul exclaimed, '_o, lord, for the honor of thy dear son, give me the life of my wife!'_ "he could say no more, and sank down exhausted. just then the nurse called him to the bedside saying, 'she has opened her mouth again as if for food.' nourishment was given, and from that time she began to recover. the doctor said it was miraculous. my father said it was god, who had heard his prayer." the help of the lord in little things. the rev. dr. patton, of chicago, in receiving many letters from clergymen, received one from mr. f., a pastor in massachusetts. in it he speaks of his unsuccessful search for a valuable knife, prized as a present from a friend, which he had lost on a hillside covered with laurels. he paused in prayer, asked to be guided, commenced his search, and was almost immediately successful thereafter. the same letter also mentions the case of a friend in a responsible position under the government, whose accounts failed to balance by reason of an error, which, after long search, he could not detect. in great distress he betook himself to prayer, and then opening his books, _on the very first page_, which he happened to glance at, and at the top of the column, he saw instantly the looked for error, standing out so plainly that he wondered he had not seen it before. the writer also speaks of a rubber shoe being lost and promptly found after mention in prayer. these may seem little matters, but they are the privileges of the righteous to ask "anything" of "him who careth for them." a boy's faith in prayer in a letter to dr. w.w. patton, by mr. t.i. goodwin, m.d., of staten island, he describes a little incident which happened to him when only thirteen years old. "he lost a choice penknife while collecting and driving several cows from a pasture covered with grass two inches high. having read huntington's book of faith, he thought of prayer, and in childlike trust he knelt under a tree, outside the bars, and prayed for his lost treasure; for he was a farmer's boy, and his spending money amounted to only about fifty cents a year. 'i rose up, cast my eyes down on the ground, and without planning my course or making any estimate of probabilities, walked across the meadow centrally to near its farther edge, saw the penknife down in the grass directly before me, and picked it up all as readily as i could have done had any one stood there pointing to the exact place. _had i gone ten feet to the right or left_ i could not have seen the knife, for the grass was too high.'" a prayer for five dollars. one of the city home missionaries in new york city received on a certain day five dollars with special directions that it be given to a certain poor minister in amos street. in the evening the missionary called and gave him the money. for a moment the good man stood amazed and speechless. then taking down a little journal he turned to the record made in his diary of that morning, and showed it to the missionary. "_spent two and a half hours in earnest prayer for five dollars_." "and now here it is," said the man, with a heart overflowing with gratitude. "the lord has sent it." both giver and receiver had their faith strengthened by the incident. go to the post-office. a correspondent of "_the guiding hand_" relates this incident: "in the year --, having a brother living in the city of r., i went to see him. going to the store where he had been at work, i found that the firm had suspended, and that he was thrown out of employment, and had broken up housekeeping, but could not ascertain where he was, only that he was boarding somewhere out in the suburbs of the city. i searched for him all day, but in vain. "it was _absolutely necessary_ that i should find _him_. what more to do i knew not, except to _pray_. finally, i was impressed to write a line and drop it into the post-office, and i obeyed the impression, telling him, if he got it, to meet me at a stated place, the next morning, at ten o'clock. _i prayed earnestly_ that the lord would cause him _to go to the post-office,_ so that he might get my letter. i felt full of peace, and at rest about the matter. the next morning, at ten o'clock, i went to the place appointed for him to meet me, _and he soon came in_." this incident might seem one of ordinary or chance occurrence, but for the following unusual circumstances: "as they were returning to their home, his brother said: 'there is something _very strange_ about my going to the post-office this morning--_i had my arrangements all made to go with a party, this morning early, to the bay, fishing; but, when i awoke, i had such an impression to go down to the post-office, that i had to forgo the pleasure of going to the bay, and went to the post-office and found your letter_.' "i replied, '_it was the lord_ that impressed you in answer to my prayer, for i have prayed earnestly for the lord to send you to the office this morning,' and, although but young in years and religion, i gave god the praise for his guidance and his grace." the widow's tree not many years ago a violent storm, with wind and thunder, spread devastation all through the valley of yellow creek, georgia. for a mile in width, trees were uprooted, barns and fences were prostrated, and all the lands were desolated. right in the center of the tornado stood a small cabin. its sole occupants were an aged widow and her only son. the terrible wind struck a large tree in front of her humble dwelling, twisting and dashing it about. if it fell it would lay her home in ruins. desolation, death itself, might follow. the storm howled and raged. the great trees fell in all directions. when it seemed her tree must also fall and there was no remedy, she knelt in fervent supplication to him who gathereth the wind in his fists, that he would spare that tree. her prayer was heard. the tree was spared, and was the _only one_ left within a considerable distance of the widow's cabin. the lord paid his interest. a most curious answer to prayer occurred in the experience of a home missionary in brooklyn. it illustrates how god, in his trials of faith to see if his people do really cling to the promises, compels them to march right into the scene of danger, and into the mouth of the cannon, that apparently is open specially to shoot them down. the interest on the mortgage of his property was due in a few days. its amount was $ . he did not have the money--did not know where to obtain it. with anxious heart during the day, he kept up his faith and courage by thinking of the lord's promises, and, the last night before the eventful day, was spent in prayer, until the assurance came that all was well. often he pleaded, often he reminded the lord that, as his life was _his_, to save him from reproach, and not let his trust in the lord suffer dishonor before others. the last moment came--no money--no relief. with sinking heart he went to the holder of the mortgage to announce his utter inability to meet his demand. while there, just at the last moment, when he was about to leave, the gentleman said, "_by the way, here is an envelope i was told to give you."_ the missionary opened it, _and out came six fifty dollar bills,_ just the _three hundred dollars prayed for_. the lord met and delivered him in the very jaws of the enemy. will the lord deliver from bad habits of tobacco, rum, liquor, licentiousness, etc., in answer to prayer. this question having been asked by a clergyman of brooklyn, rev. s.h. platt, he received a large number of communications, which evidently prove that the lord is _willing_ and _does_, either _instantaneously_ or gradually in answer to prayer, deliver and take away wholly the bad _habits_ and _appetites_ of those who are willing to forsake their sinful ways and cleave only to him. _the lord's salvation cleanses and delivers the body as well as the soul_. we quote a few extracts from his correspondence, which is but a small portion out of many published in his volume, "_the power of grace_." cured of tobacco appetite. "a little more than a year has elapsed since i left off the use of tobacco. this further time has more fully developed the thoroughness of the case spoken of and the completeness of the victory over an evil habit. i am filled with wonder, for i expected a terrible fight with an appetite, strengthened by an indulgence of about thirty-five years, but the enemy has not shown his head. _not only has the desire for smoking been effectually squelched_, but a perfect hatred of smoking has been developed on account of the offensiveness of the odor of tobacco. i frequently cross the street, or change my seat in a car to escape the puff of smoke, or the fetid breath of a smoker. 'thanks be unto god who giveth us the victory.'" bad habits wholly overcome. "a physician of extended practice was converted and reclaimed while i had charge of the place in which he lived. he had acquired the habit of using large quantities of whiskey and brandy, and withal more or less given to licentiousness. since that time he has been steadily advancing in morals and moral power, till he now preaches the gospel as a local preacher, side by side with the best of the district." was it instantaneous? "yes, as respects tobacco; he became convicted of its sinfulness by a voice saying, 'that is not the way to glorify god: stop, and stop now.' and from that moment he says he has never used it, neither does he in any way like the smell, or even the sight of tobacco." the lord delivers from bodily sins. "i had used tobacco from my childhood, and the love and use thereof grew upon me. i became convicted of its sinfulness, went to god and said, '_destroy the appetite, and give me power over it_. save me that i may glorify thee as a god of power for our present sins, and i will glorify thee ever more.' i wrote out the contract and signed it, and from that blessed afternoon have no recollection of ever desiring it even." another deliverance. "tobacco was a great trouble to me; and i had tried a number of times to leave it off, but could not do so. one night as i was retiring to rest, i thought i would kneel by my bed and ask _him_, who never refuses to answer prayer, to take from me the desire for tobacco, and from that moment it has been impossible for me to use it. not your own strength can break the habit. "i smoked tobacco excessively for fifteen years, commencing when i was about twenty years old. i often strove to break off from the use of it; indeed i determined time and again to desist from it, sometimes abstaining for a few months or weeks, once for twelve months, _but the desire never left me_, and whenever i tasted it i was sure to take to it again. i sometimes vowed whilst upon my knees in prayer, to abstain from it and never touch it again, but i always attempted to do this in my own strength; hence i failed, being overcome by the almost irresistible influences it had upon my appetite, so long accustomed to the use. "one sunday morning, i retired to a secluded place, got down upon my knees, and asked the lord to help me quit it, determining then and there that i would, god being my helper, never touch the accursed thing again by any kind of use in the way of consumption, and from that day to this, i have never had any desire to smoke or chew tobacco, or to use it in any way; i lifted my heart to god, imploring his assistance in abstaining from it. i have now been clear of the desire of it for nearly twenty-three years." a double cure. "at the age of twelve years i commenced to use tobacco, and continued to use it, both smoking and chewing, till five years ago, when in answer to prayer the appetite was instantly removed. "the circumstances were as follows: i had tried many ways to leave off the use of tobacco, but the appetite was so strong that i could not withstand it. at one time i left it off for a month, but not a day passed but i craved it, and when i did begin again it tasted as good as ever. i found that tobacco was injuring my health. my nervous system was much deranged. "for more than a year before i left it off there was scarcely a night but i lay for two or three hours, before i could go to sleep. i resolved a great many times i would leave off, but always failed. i had also acquired the habit of drinking, and became a confirmed drunkard. "i knew the habits were killing me, but i was powerless to stop. one evening a prayer-meeting was appointed at my house. the minister in his remarks spoke about habits, and said that religion would cure all bad habits, such as tobacco, &c., and that by prayer god would remove all evil appetites. "i thought but little about it that night; was very careless and trifling about it. the next morning i took out my tobacco to take a chew, and thought of what the minister had said the night before. it was a new idea to me. i put the tobacco in my pocket again, and said, '_i'll try it_.' "_i was alone in my barn; i kneeled down and asked god to remove the appetite from me. it was done. i was cured_. i felt it. i knew it then. i have never had a desire for it since. there has been no hankering for it or for strong drink since. my sins were all forgiven, and i was made a new man all over, inside and outside. "when i go into company where they are smoking, i have no desire for it at all, neither have i for drinking, any more than if i had never had those habits. _my nervous difficulty was also instantly cured_. no more trouble about sleeping, and i know that jesus can heal and remove and destroy all evil habits." a special word to all seeking to escape evil ways. should these words meet the eye of any one so troubled over any evil way or bad habit from whose bondage he would gladly escape, let me say to you these words of good cheer: "_the lord can save you, the lord can deliver you, the lord can wholly heal you. he can take away your appetite and cleanse you thoroughly_. he has done it for many others. he can do it for you. realize that your own strength can not do it. forget not that it is only in answer to your own prayer. those who want this good gift must _pray for it_. deliverance may be instantaneous or gradual, but do not cease your prayer. seek in the bible for those promises which show that he can _deliver from all evil_, and plead them and then trust in him and his strength to fulfill them. "forget not also to ask others to pray for you, and remember that the answer is sure to come if you add to your prayer these true thoughts of your heart, '_deliver me and i give myself to thee forever_.' "if you expect so great a gift from the lord, he asks of you, '_what are you willing to do for me_?'" help at the very last moment. faith rewarded. a clergyman in the state of new york, through the influence of a disaffected member, was unfairly and precipitately deprived of his pulpit, which involved a large family in necessity. at supper the good man had the pain of beholding the last morsel of bread placed upon the table without the least means or prospect of a supply for his children's breakfast. his wife, full of grief with her children, retired to her bed. the minister chose to sit up and employ his dark hours in prayer, and reading the promises of god. some secret hope of supply pervaded his breast, but when, whence, or by whom, he knew not. he retired to rest, and in the morning appeared with his family, and offered family prayer. it being the depth of winter, and a little fire on the hearth, he desired his wife to hang on the kettle, and spread the cloth upon the table. the kettle boiled, the children cried for bread; the afflicted father, standing before the fire, felt those deep emotions of heart over his helplessness and impending starvation which those reared in affluence never know. while in this painful state some one knocked at the door, entered, and delivered a letter into the minister's hand. when the gentleman was gone the letter was opened, and to the minister's astonishment it contained a few bank bills, with a desire for acceptance. so manifest an answer to prayer from divine goodness could not but be received with gratitude and joy, and fulfills to the very letter these promises: "verily thou shalt be fed." psalm : . "i will never leave thee nor forsake thee." heb. : . to ascertain how this occurrence came to take place, this remarkable coincidence of relief at the identical moment of time when there was the last appeal to god, the incident was communicated to the editor of a religious journal. having an intimacy with the gentleman said to be the one whose hand had offered the seasonable relief, he determined the next time he made him a visit to introduce the subject, and, if possible, to know the reason that induced the generous action. the story was told with a modest blush which evinced the tenderness of his heart. on interrogation, he said "he had frequently heard that minister. on a certain morning he was disposed for a walk; thought in the severity of the winter season a trifle might be of service, as fuel was high; felt a kind of necessity to enclose the money in a letter; went to the house, found the family, delivered the paper and retired, but knew not the extreme necessity of the minister and his family, either at that time nor till this very moment when his friend introduced the subject. thus it is seen none but god knew the want or moved the hand that gave the supply, and brought them to meet at the right time. spinal disease cured. "there was a little girl in this place that had the cerebro-spinal-meningitis; several had died with this disease, and the physician had given her up to die. the weekly prayer-meeting met in town that night, and her parents wrote a note and sent it by their little son, requesting prayer that their little daughter might live and not die, signed with the names of both parents. from that time she began to recover, and to-day she is a bright little girl, with full use of every faculty, and not deformed as most persons are from this terrible disease. i cannot view it in any other light than a direct answer to prayer." an old man's prayer. "i feel also like mentioning another instance. i knew an old father in israel, a minister of the gospel, who once in speaking with a brother minister, after a revival of religion in which five of his grandchildren had professed their faith in christ, among others with whom he had labored; said if he could only live to see his one remaining granddaughter brought into the fold, and the two presbyterian churches, then, called the old and new school, united, he could say, like simeon of old, 'lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, for mine eyes have seen thy salvation.' about three years after, the two presbyteries met near this place in germantown, mo., and he seemed as if he could not contain himself till the time came for the meeting, so anxious was he for this great desire of his heart to be fulfilled. on the day of meeting he took sick and could not be present at any of the sessions, but many of his brethren were with him, among whom was this one he had been conversing with. the sessions lasted three days, and upon the last evening his wishes were gratified, the two presbyteries merged into one, singing 'blest be the tie that binds;' and his youngest granddaughter united with the church, and after the meeting adjourned this brother came to watch with the aged servant of god. he was permitted to convey the glad news to him, and see a heavenly smile light up his countenance as he passed away with his earnest prayer gratified." the mysterious leadings of providence. the following incidents are contributed to the book by a prominent clergyman: "a period, ever memorable in the life of the writer, occurred in the autumn of , while attending a protracted meeting of more than ordinary interest and power, held under the auspices of the baptist church in the city of schenectady, under the then pastoral charge of rev. abraham d. gillette, this being his first settlement. it was in one of the meetings that the holy spirit impressed my mind of its sinfulness and the need of a savior, not only to cleanse my soul of sin and sinful stains, but to save me. these impressions caused me to humble myself at the feet of sovereign mercy; and in the midst of my pleadings, god answered my prayer, and opened to me new views, views of the heavenly kingdom, which so electrified my soul, that with a full heart i could say, 'blessed be the lord who has shown me marvelous works in this lonely place beneath the star-lit sky.' "this great change was, and is, to me the most wonderful interposition of god in my behalf in answer to prayer. this answer to prayer the promised result of faith in him." "again, in the year , the writer in the year mentioned was employed by a transportation company, in the city of troy, in the character of an employee having direction of a portion of the business of the company which brought me into close relation with the many boatmen connected with the company. association with the boatmen was painful to my religious nature, compelled, as i was, to hear all manner of offensive talk. the latter led me to indulge a wish that i might free myself from such company, in order to form associations with persons of my own religious turn of mind. but god willed otherwise, as will be learned from the recital of god's dealings with me on an occasion of a journey alone in a carriage from troy to schenectady. it was on the occasion alluded to that most of the time was occupied in prayer, and the burden of my prayer was 'that god would open up a way for me wherein i could find more congenial company, where in fact my religious feelings would not meet with the trials incident to my present associations.' but he who knew my needs better, came to my relief in words seemingly distinct enough to be heard. this was the answer: 'i have placed you just where i want you.' instantly my prayer for a change of location or separation from my business and its connections ceased, and since, instead of looking for easy positions, wherein the principles of the faith which is in me may be undisturbed, i deem it suited to my growth in grace and increase in devotion to my master's cause, to covet the association of men whose only tendency is to evil continually. i have found by experience in the latter direction, that although many tongues are loose in the habit of profanity, i am roused more and more by grace to impart words of counsel. i know that efforts at consistency in christian conduct and converse will stop the mouth of profaners of the name of our redeemer, god." another instance of the presence of god with his children is clearly manifest in the following sketch of a meeting of two brethren, of whom the writer was one, held in the conference room of the first baptist church in troy, n.y., of which church he was a member. the meeting alluded to occurred in the early spring of or ' . we were accustomed to meet almost every day for the purpose of arranging the sunday school library, but would occupy a portion of the time, usually at noon, in prayer for such persons or objects as were presented to the mind. on the particular occasion we propose to mention, it was mutually agreed that we pray for one of the brethren, whose gifts were of a high order, and his usefulness hindered by a lack of spirituality. we mutually bowed in prayer for this brother, and while thus engaged the door of the room was opened, and a person entered and knelt between us, but who he was, or the purpose of his visit we knew not until we had ended our prayer, at which time the person spoke and requested us to continue praying for him. at the conclusion of the service, the question was mooted how he came there. his reply was in substance as follows: "when standing on a stoop on the corner of fourth and congress streets, cogitating which way i should go, i was impressed by a voice within which directed my course to the conference room. i debated with the impression, taking the position that it being noon no meeting was then in progress. still the impression remained, and could not be removed. noticing this, i gave way to the voice and here i am." neither of the three thus brought together could doubt for a moment that our prayer for this brother was answered. his joy was great in view of being thus called from his delinquency to share in the fullness of his savior's love. "another instance in the experience of the writer very clearly shows the power and worth of prayer. about the year , in the autumn thereof, he experienced a lack of vital, spiritual energy. this had been of months' continuance, but to his joy, culminated after retiring to rest. after this manner, before sleep overcame him, he was impressed to present his case before the mercy-seat. to do so he arose from his bed, retired to a quiet part of his home and bowed in prayer, seeking to occupy the entire night if need be in prayer for the bestowal of the holy spirit, and the consequent revival influences of other days. this season of prayer was of short continuance; but not by reason of disrelish for the exercise, but because my prayer was answered and a complete breaking away of the previous hindrances to my spiritual enjoyment. since the event alluded to, now more than thirty-six years, i have not been afflicted by doubts, and counsel brethren and sisters not to allow themselves to be made unhappy by this evil to our spiritual progress." life spared for two weeks. "on the th of january, last, i was called upon to visit a dying man in jersey city, whom the doctors had said could not live but a few hours. i found him in severe bodily sufferings and a terrible agony of mind. he had lived a moral and upright life in the eyes of the world, but careless and neglectful of all religious duties, and now with eternity before him he felt his life a failure and his imperative need of help. "in his agony he would cry out, 'lord, help me,' and perhaps the next moment blaspheme the name of god. i sought to show him his great sin in having so long neglected god and his salvation, and at the same time assured him that jesus was a great savior, 'able to save to the uttermost all who would come unto him.' i went from his bedside to the union prayer-meeting, held in our city during the week of prayer, where i presented his case and asked the brethren to pray that god would save this poor man even at the eleventh hour, and spare him to give good evidence of his conversion. his case seemed to reach the hearts of all present, and most earnest prayers were offered in his behalf; so strong was the faith that many came to me at the close of the meeting and said that young man will certainly be saved before he is taken from this world. "in answer to prayer he was spared nearly two weeks, and for some six or seven days before his death, gave much clearer evidence of being truly converted than could have been expected of one in his condition." a missionary's experience in mexico. "while laboring with my wife as a missionary in northern mexico, we supported ourselves for nearly four years by teaching and such other ways as the lord opened up to us. "but our schools being decidedly protestant, and i preaching regularly, the opposition from romanists was very strong; this, together with the extreme poverty of the people, made our income very small. frequently the opposition would rise to that pitch that only the children of the poorest would be permitted to come, but we never turned these away, though they could pay no tuition, trusting that god would provide for us in some other way. "early in the year , we were much exercised to know the will of the lord concerning us, whether he would have us continue or not. we brought our case before the lord and prayed him to make known his will and provide for our necessary wants. in about three weeks we received a check for eighty dollars, sent us, as we felt, truly by the lord in answer to our prayer through a friend in new york, who knew nothing of our circumstances or prayer. "in august the same year, our condition became such that it seemed as if in a few days we would be wholly without the necessaries of life. we laid our case before the lord, and as he did not appear to open up any way for us to leave the field, we went forward with our work as faithfully as we knew how, believing that the lord would provide in his own time and way, when one evening, just after family worship, a rap came to the door. i opened it, there came in quite a company of persons, all bearing something, and just exactly the things we needed most, and to the amount of over fifty dollars' worth, and about a sixth of it was, as we learned, given by romanists who had opposed us very strongly all the time we had been there. truly the lord answers prayer and turns the hearts of men to do his will." the greatest of physicians. miss x. of brooklyn, had suffered long and severely from a distressing tumor. one physician after another had plied his skill, but to no purpose; even the celebrated doctor simms of new york, corroborated their verdict, that there was no help for her but in the knife. she finally consented to that terrific method, but was in no condition of strength to bear the operation. it was decided to postpone it till the d of june. twelve doctors were invited to be present. meanwhile a diet nurse sent from new york, remained with her, to prepare her system for the ordeal. three days preceding the one appointed for the operation, she was attacked by severe nausea, which lasted two days, and so weakened her that again the doctors were all notified by the attending one, that a further postponement was imperative, and a certain date fixed in november. all this time her own prayers were unceasing, those of her friends added to her own; and many a remembrance in the fulton street meeting, cheered and encouraged her. _by november, the tumor had totally disappeared!_ that was two years ago. she is still well, strong; able to walk three miles any time. she is as certain that the whole cure was performed by the lord in answer to all those fervent prayers, as she is certain she lives and moves. how the lord paid back the $ . mr. h., missionary, was appealed to by a poor man who seemed almost distracted. he had a wife and five children; one of them ill; had been sick himself for three months, and owed rent for the whole of that time. the landlord had served him with a writ of ejectment, and he could get no other tenement, unless he could pay five dollars on the rent. he had applied to a well-known society in brooklyn; but they were entirely out of funds and gave him a note to the missionary, hoping he might have or find the desired help. but missionaries' pockets are more often depleted, than those of benevolent organizations, and the one in question was fain to take the applicant to a friend, whom we shall call q. the poor man told his story, asked the five dollars only as a loan, and, having an order for the painting of two signs, said he should be paid for them when done, and could return the loan the next saturday, one week from that time. mr. q. saw, at once, that the utter destitution of the family, and the need of _everything_, would prevent the man returning the money, however much he might wish to, and so refused to lend it. the case was urged, but without avail; and the missionary sent the man away, promising to see him again that night or on monday. after his departure, the following conversation passed between the gentlemen: q.--"now, h., i don't take any stock in that man. can you not see that his paying that money back, is a simple impossibility?" h.--"well, perhaps so; but the question with me in such cases, is this: what is duty? admit that he cannot pay it, or even that he will not try; is it not better to relieve his desperate need, than to have him perhaps turn criminal and prey upon society? he _must_ leave the house he is in; he _cannot_ get another without the money, and he is desperate; feels that five dollars he must have, by fair means or foul. moreover, think of his wife and children, leaving him out of the question. now let us open this little bible, and see what meets our eye first." q.--"oh, pshaw! you know i do not believe in that kind of thing! do you go to the bible for everything?" h.--"why not? can we have any better guide?" q.--"oh! well, i don't work that way. now about that man and his money. i will toss up a penny with you, whether i lend or not." h.--"no you won't! you know i don't believe in chance, but in the lord. and would you sooner rest your decision on a gambler's test, than on god's promise? now just let us open the book." q.--"well; what do you see?" h.--"'the wicked borroweth, and payeth not again; but the righteous sheweth mercy, and lendeth.'" th psalm, st verse. as there was no hunting up of passages, nor leaves turned down to open easily, the coincidence was impressive, as well as amusing, and h., following it up, said, "lend him the money, and if he does not pay you next saturday night, i will." it was so agreed upon, and, when the man called on the missionary on monday morning, he was sent to q. for the relief. the week passed on, as they all pass, weighted and freighted with human ills; some capable of alleviation, some not; but of the former, a full share had come under the notice and care of the missionary, and saturday found him stepping into the fulton street prayer-meeting, n.y., for fresh encouragement and benediction on his labors. at its close, a gentleman said to him, "mr. h., i have known you by sight for years; know your work; but have never given you anything; and i promised myself the next time i saw you, i would do so. have you any special need of five dollars now? if so, and you will step to the bank with me, you shall have it." instantly it flashed through the mind of h. that this was the day when, either the borrower or he, must pay his friend. it may be supposed that he went to the bank with alacrity. going back to b. and meeting the friend, he learned that neither man nor money had appeared, and at once tendered the five dollars, telling the story of the lord's care in the matter. q. was so interested in this manner of obtaining supplies, that he refused to take the money, and instructed h. to use it in the lord's work. praying for money for a journey. a lady, miss e., residing in new bedford, received a letter telling of the serious illness of her mother, in new york. sick herself, from unremitted care of an invalid during eight years, poor as elijah when his only grocers were the ravens, too old for new ambitions, too well acquainted with the gray mists of life to hope for many rifts through which the sunshine might enter, she had no sum of money at all approaching the cost of the trip between the two places. "he shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust," is a text bound over her daily life, as a phylactery was bound between the eyes of an ancient hebrew. she lives literally, _only one day at a time_, and walks literally by faith and not by sight. so then as ever, the lord was her committee of ways and means; but for three days the answer was delayed. then, an old lady called to express her indebtedness for miss e.'s services three years before, and ask her acceptance of ten dollars therefor, "no sort of equivalent for days and days of writing and searching law papers, but only a little token that the service was not forgotten." there was the answer to her prayer; there the redemption of the pledge: "as the mountains are round about jerusalem, so the lord is round about his people from henceforth, even forever." employment found. a man and wife were out of employment, and in very great trouble. mr. h. (missionary) had added his efforts to theirs, and sedulously sought among the families he knew, for positions for them. after two weeks' fruitless endeavor, he said to the man, "well, john, let us go into the fulton street meeting and leave it with the lord." they did so; the request was read and remembered. the very next day, mr. h. received a note from one of the families to whom he had already applied, and without success, requesting him to send the man and wife of whom he had spoken. very joyfully he did so, and they were both engaged! mr. h. considered it a very marked answer to prayer, inasmuch as it was quite difficult to find a family who wanted a man as well as woman servant; and that particular family was, of all others, the least likely to make such an arrangement! a barrel of flour. for the "faith home for incurables" mr. h. received, one day, five dollars. a barrel of flour was terribly needed. he went to a large house in new york, hoping the lord would incline the proprietor to sell him a barrel for that sum. he felt too poor, was not willing; and with a heavy heart, mr. h. returned, asking the lord what next he should do. he called at the store of a friend, where the following conversation took place. "well, did you get the flour?" "i did not; they feel too poor, and i am terribly disappointed. it is almost dark now; i have lost my time going over there, and at this hour, the flour merchants here are closed." "well, mr. ---- called here, and i told him you were in, and on what errand you had gone to new york. he said he would send a barrel to my store if i would send it up to the home; and i did so, about an hour ago." wonderful ways of the lord in guiding his people. our missionaries move amidst the reality of scenes which religious fiction vainly strives to equal. remarkable proofs of genuine and vivid piety, triumphs of patience and grace, lifting their possessors above the most painful and distressing circumstances, are met with in all their explorations, and more than repay them for toil or privation. wonderful conversion of a roman catholic. a frame dwelling in an alley, two rooms on the first floor, in the smaller one a bed-ridden old colored man, who had fought the battle of life for ninety years, fifteen of them on his bed, with eyes so dimmed by age that he could not even read; and a wife who was eye, ear and solace to him, are the salient points of our first picture. they were both earnest, exultant christians, around whom the angels of god encamped day and night. the wife was brought up in the west indies, as a catholic, but her ideas of religion consisted mostly in counting beads on a rosary. after coming to brooklyn, she became a servant in the family of a well-known naval officer, and was always a favorite on account of her vivacity. one day, a young painter who was working there, and proved to be one of the christians whose light shines for all in the house, spoke to her, and invited her to a prayer-meeting in a protestant chapel. she refused, laughing; but the painter's assurance next day, that she had been prayed for in that meeting, made her restless, uneasy and sick. in a few days, she was confined to her bed and pronounced by some doctors, a victim to consumption. one, more sagacious than the rest, said her trouble was of the mind, not the body, and a minister would be better than a doctor. it proved to be the case; she was soon led into a glimmering hope, though feeling that she literally carried a burden on her back. starting out, one night, to look for a place of worship, she turned her feet to a methodist meeting from whence the sound of singing had reached her. in the prayer and exhortation, however, there were words which revealed to her the secret of faith and salvation. she felt the burden loosen and fall from her shoulders, so sensibly, that involuntarily, she turned and looked for it on the floor. in a few moments she began to realize the freedom she had gained, and started to her feet in joy and wonder. her work then began in her own home, and through her prayers of faith, five members of the commodore's own family and an irish catholic servant girl, were brought to "christ, the living way." for years her faith was proved by her works; her daily example in the household, her watchings and waitings by the bedside of her helpless husband--poverty, sickness, perplexities of every sort, but made her hope the brighter, her hold the firmer. with no dependence for their daily bread but the benefactions of one and another person, sometimes entire strangers, they never knew what it was to suffer actual want, nor did frances ever believe that her friend would forget her. remarkable preservation of life from lightning in answer to prayer. i was riding on top of the boulder pass of the rocky mountains, in the summer of , when a sudden storm of rain, wind, and furious tempest came up. there was no shelter from rocks, no trees or buildings to be seen--a lonely, wind-swept summit. i knew that the lightning on those high elevations was fearful in intensity. i was appalled at the prospect before me, but feeling that god had promised to care for his children-- "no evil shall befall thee or come nigh thy dwelling"--i composed myself, and though on horseback, with the rain beating in torrents, i offered simple prayer to god that he would save me from the rain and stop it. but _no_, it came harder than ever; then i prayed that i might be protected from all danger, "_for i trusted in him_!" i rode on and on for miles, chilly, cold, wet through, the clouds hanging low and the lightning flashing above me, around me, striking near me, constant flashes, peals of thunder; but i was not terrified. "god must keep me." _twice i was distinctly struck_ with the electric flash, detached portions or sparks from the electric cloud, directly in the center of the forehead, but it had no more force than just to close my eyes, shake my head a little, obscure my sight a moment, and then it was all over, and i was clearer, cooler, calmer, happier, and more self-possessed than ever before. i attribute my protection from peril entirely to prayer, and the fierceness of the tempest and the proximity of danger were permitted by the lord to try my trust. those portions which struck me, if in ordinary times had been given me from an electric battery in a school-room, a shock with sparks only one-hundredth the size, would have killed me. i can thus say with thanks, faith was then made perfect in danger, and the lord _was faithful_ in hearing his child's cry, and delivered him. god never failed her. an aged colored woman, lived that life of faith which shines brighter and brighter unto the perfect day. born a slave, on long island, she was never taught to read, never enjoyed any social privileges; but the god of the widow of sarepta, who had neither "store-house nor barn," was her god, and brought her out of the house of spiritual bondage. she outlived all her early associations; all her children and grandchildren, husband and brother passed on before, leaving her alone in poverty and sickness. yet she sat in her little hut, a cheerful, happy christian; a living witness for god as a covenant-keeper. doubting, despondent souls were always glad to visit her, to listen to her simple words of wisdom and gather strength from her invincible trust. roman catholic neighbors persecuted and even threatened her; but in reply to a missionary who remarked that it must be very trying and somewhat dangerous, she said, "don't you know the lord has a hook in the jaws of the wicked, so they shan't hurt us if we belong to him? jesus is always with me; so i'm never alone and never afraid." his mother's prayer. a poor sailor, leading a most profligate and abandoned life, whose praying mother followed him like a shadow into and out of his drinking saloons and gambling houses, at last absented himself from home, whenever he was in port. her burden, finally, seemed too great to bear, and she resolved to make a stronger effort than ever before, to cast it upon the lord. as she knelt, with her heart well-nigh bursting with this desire, she felt a powerful conviction that, at last, she was answered. for several years the son went on in his wicked career, and the mother sorrowed that it was so, but her soul was no longer laden with fear; she felt the assurance of his conversion, sooner or later. again, for several years, she never heard of him, and thought him dead; then she ceased praying for him, and was steadfast in the faith of meeting him in heaven. but sight was to be given her, as a reward for faith. he returned, at last, only thirty years of age, but broken down in health, and worn out by dissipation and hardship. still unconverted, but, to satisfy his mother, he consented to remain in the room during a visit of the missionary of that district; a man with sufficient tact not to make his efforts obnoxious. he did not tell the young man he was a sinner and must flee from the wrath to come; he merely presented the _love_ of jesus; the love that saved to the very _uttermost_; that waited more patiently than any earthly friend, and forgave more royally. at first, he listened indifferently, but, at last, burst into tears, saying, "i thought i was so bad he didn't want anything to do with me." a long conversation, and others at intervals followed, and, before his death, which occurred several months after, his mother's heart was gladdened by the account of his change, and the knowledge that, in farthest lands, his thoughts were back with her. the deeper he went in sin, the more unsatisfactory and abhorrent it became, and he would have turned, long before, to the lord, had he believed there was the least hope for him. when he closed his eyes to earth, a few friends enabled his mother to give him respectable burial, in the same grave where, years before, his father was laid. the heart of stone relents. another consumptive in the neighborhood, was thoroughly an infidel. mr. a. visited the house three times a week, and, at last, succeeded in overcoming his objections to a weekly prayer-meeting in his house. in his hearing, earnest supplication was always made for him, and, at the end of four months, the heart of stone relented. he had not, at first, the courage to appropriate the promises to himself; but one morning very early he sent for the missionary to reveal the news that he felt all his sins forgiven, and had "christ _in_ him, the hope of glory." four months more he lived to hear witness continually to god's amazing mercy, and then joyfully expired, declaring himself saved by grace alone. a discouraged one revived. mr. c----, walking home one saturday afternoon, fell into a discouraged train of thought because he appeared to have done so little for the master that whole week. at that moment a young man took him by the hand saying--"you do not know me, but i know you. a few weeks ago i was on the high road to destruction, but now through your instrumentality i am in the narrow path which leads to everlasting life. i attended your prayer-meeting one evening in company with a friend of mine. you spoke with great earnestness, and after we sang the last hymn you remarked, 'how can i bless whom god has cursed? for he declares, if any man love not the lord, he shall be accursed.' i cannot describe my sensations. for several days i could find no peace, but when at last my faith rested on jesus, i found that peace which flows like a river; and now, like moses, i have chosen rather to suffer affliction with the children of god than to enjoy the pleasures of sin, for i know if i have to face any trouble on account of my religion, i can look forward to a glorious reward." the prisoner loosed. on the third floor of a tenement house, a missionary, mr. b., found a comely, intelligent young english woman in great distress. her heart seemed wrung by grief. a few kind words of sympathy drew from her the story of her woe. she came to this country with her husband and three young children. he was employed as book-keeper in a large mercantile house; but soon became addicted to drink, and the story is ever the same; loss of position, poverty, disgrace, suffering and recklessness. on the day of the missionary's visit, he was in a prison cell, committed as a vagrant and common drunkard. the wife was bitterly weeping in her cheerless home, and the children around her fretting with hunger. mr. b. was so touched he could scarcely find words with which to console her, but turned to isaiah and read, "for thy maker is thy husband; the lord of hosts is his name." "for a small moment have i forsaken thee, but with great mercies will i gather thee." after his prayer, she felt calmer, and entreated him to come the next week, on the day her husband would be released. he complied; found a prepossessing and cultivated man; and upon telling him how earnestly his wife and himself had prayed for him, was rejoiced to learn that in that lonesome cell the spirit of god had visited him, filled him with a sincere wish to reform the future and redeem the past. the missionary called again and again, and witnessed the strong determination of the young man to fight against his pernicious habit. he was soon employed again in a large house, became a regular attendant at the lord's house, and began to pray both publicly and privately for help from on high. only a few months, and both husband and wife united with a church and became teachers in the sabbath school. their own home, once laid waste, again blossomed like the rose. praying for tea. on a top floor in a street of tenements lives a colored woman one hundred and ten years old! her son, a man over seventy, lost his wife, a neat, active christian woman, very suddenly, and his aged mother was plunged in despairing grief. "why, why was i left, old and rheumatic and useless, and mary, a smart, busy, capable woman taken away without a minute's warning?" was her continual cry. but the son was left desolate, and the two rooms were to be kept clean, the meals provided before he left for his work in the morning, and after his work at night; there was no one else to do it, and love for him called out new effort. with cane in one hand she treads the rooms back and forth, performing the household duties. eyes undimmed, faculties unimpaired, she _does what she can_. upon receiving a call a few months after the death of her daughter-in-law, she said--"you've brought me a whole pound of that nice tea! well, honey, _i asked the lord for some good tea last night, and i knowed well enough it would be along some time to-day, cos he never keeps me waiting long_. i found out why he took mary instead of me; old as i was, i wasn't half so fit to go, and he was so full of mercy he let me stay long enough to see it! you know, honey, i've got no one to talk over old times with. there ain't none of 'em left that i was young with, and not many i was old with; but i'm never lonesome, for i'm too busy thinking of all the lord's watching and waiting for me. i'm dreadful little use, but my son couldn't get along very well without me, and then i tell you i'm so busy thinking, i ain't got any time to be lazy or lonesome. good many little things we want, too, and i have to be runnin' to the lord for 'em." "do they come every time, auntie?", "every single time, honey! he never fails, no matter who else does. he knows i don't ask for no nonsense; only for the things we really need, and he has promised them all the time." "but, are there not times, auntie, for instance, when your son is sick, when you cannot see where rent and food is coming from?" "don't want to see, honey! what's the use seein'? believin's the thing! believin's better than money." and so, all the revolving months, this relic of the last century walks by faith in the unseen. giving her last dollar to the lord. a poor woman, sitting in a little church, heard the minister make an urgent appeal for money enough to pay a debt of two hundred dollars, contracted by the church the previous winter. she had one dollar in her pocket; half drew it out; thought of the improbability of having any more for several days; put it back. thought again, "trust in the lord for more;" drew it wholly out, and deposited it in the basket. the next morning, a lady called to settle a bill of two dollars, so long unpaid that it was, long before, set down among the losses. the danish girl's blessing. a very poor danish girl, broken down in health, utterly unable longer to labor for her own support, was provided with the means, and urged to go to denmark, as her friend felt sure there was some good in store for her there, meaning, more definitely, the restoration of her health. she could not be induced until, thoroughly satisfied by several tokens that it was the lord's will, and then she consented. a devout, humble christian missionary became acquainted with her soon after her arrival, and, being struck with the beauty of holiness in every action and conversation of her life, asked her to marry him, that he might have the constant satisfaction of rendering her life comfortable, and finding his own encouragement in her unfailing faith. his letters are full of his saintly wife, and her signally blessed efforts in winning people to put their trust where it need fear no betrayal. the swedish girl blessed. a christian swedish girl, who had, for three years, done the washing of a certain family, had so interested them by her care of an aged father, and gained their esteem by her humble piety, that, wishing to go to europe for six months, they offered her two rooms in their house for that time, that she might not only save the labor necessary to pay her rent, but, also, take charge of their effects. the offer was gladly accepted, and recognized as a token especially from the lord. in times when the father was yet able to work a little, they had economized to a degree that resulted in saving twenty dollars. it was laid by for three months' rent, when he should be no longer able to earn it. that time had come; as yet the money had not been touched; but satan sent a wicked woman to hire the next room, and, while the father was asleep, and his poor daughter at church, she stole it. their grief was great, but they reminded the lord how hardly it was earned, and how faithful lie had always been to his promises. it can be easily understood with what emphasis this unexpected offer came to them. saved from drowning. a poor german woman rushed frantically through the street and into the house of a countrywoman, very little better off than herself, declaring she would drown herself that very night if _no_ one would give her work. a family on the same floor gave her the use of a very small, bare room for one week, free of charge; after that, it would be eighty cents per week rent. her countrywoman shared with her, such as she had for the evening and the morning, and after the breakfast, sent for a good, ever-ready missionary to talk and pray her into a better frame of mind. he did so, but confirmed and rested her faith on substantial works. he procured employment for her before the sun set; enough to pay the rent and get a little common food. then obtained coal sufficient to last a couple of months; and so, leading her little by little into light and hope, drew her into regular attendance at the mission chapel in her neighborhood. the widow in "want". a home missionary in brooklyn, who has an enviable reputation for his entire consecration to the work of helping the poor, one day when engaged in his benevolent works, entered a restaurant, kept by a christian friend, a man of like spirit with himself, who, in the course of conversation, related to him the following circumstances, illustrative of the power of prayer. he had, on a certain day, cleared a large sum, part of which consisted of _mexican dollars_. returning home in high spirits, he felt as if he could go to sleep sweetly on this silver pillow. but a thought suddenly intruded, which gave a new turn to his feelings. it related to a poor woman in his neighborhood, the widow of a very dear friend of his, whom he knew to be in want. "shall i take all this money to myself?" thought he. "does not the providence who gave it to me say, _no! give some of it to the widow of your friend_." with this impression he retired, as was his habit, quite early, but he could not sleep. the thought of the needy widow haunted him. "i will go to-morrow," said he to himself, "and see what i can do for her." but this good intention proved no opiate to his disturbed mind. "possibly she or i may not live to see to-morrow." something seemed to say _go now_. he tossed from side to side, but could not sleep. _go now_ kept ringing in his ear. so at length the restless man had to dress himself and go. at this late hour, not far from eleven, he sallied forth to find the widow. seeing a dim light in the upper story where she resided, and following its lead, he crept softly along on the stairway, until he reached the room from which a low sound issued. the door was slightly ajar; through which he could hear the voice of prayer, scarcely audible, but deeply earnest. he dared hardly stir, lest he should disturb the praying widow. but he came on an errand, and he must accomplish it. but how? recollecting at the moment, that he had in his pocket a few of the _mexican dollars_, he gently pushed at the door, and it opened just wide enough for his purpose. so taking each piece of money between his fingers, he rolled it in along the carpet, and withdrew as noiselessly as he had ascended. returning to his home, he fell asleep and slept soundly, as well he might, after this act. the widow at length arose from her knees, and was struck on seeing the shining money lying about her floor. where had these pieces of silver come from? here was a mystery she could not solve. but she knew it was from the lord, and that he had answered her prayer. so with tears of gratitude, she gave thanks to him, "whose is the silver and the gold." shortly after this event, she attended prayer-meeting, where she felt constrained to make known this wonderful interposition in answer to prayer. the christians present were as much astonished as herself. the silence which ensued was broken by a brother of that church, who rose and said, "what this good woman has told you, is strictly true. these dollars came from the lord. they came in answer to her prayer." he then detailed the circumstances before related. "god deputed me to carry this money, and providentially i am here to night to testify to the fact that god hears and answers prayer." it seems, from a subsequent statement, that this widow, owed a certain sum, that she was obliged to pay immediately, and having nothing in hand, she was pleading, that night, that her heavenly father would send her the needed amount. the sewing girl relieved just in time. a sick scotch girl was found lying on a narrow bed in a close, uncomfortable room, her sobs audible to the missionary, when half-way up the stairs. her story was short. when about, she earned three dollars and a half a week, at a business that was killing her. of that, she paid three dollars for her board; leaving but the half-dollar for clothing or incidentals. but now--she had been lying there two weeks; six dollars were due for board, and still she was unable to rise, and, when she did, how could she ever pay the back indebtedness? the woman with whom she lived, was too poor herself to give her the lost time, and, moreover, was one of the class whom struggle and battle hardens. the missionary came just in time to quell the poor girl's fears, and paid her debts; mind and body were set at rest, and, one or two christian ladies being made acquainted with the case, attended to the comforts which hastened her recovery; and, when once more pursuing her avocation, her "mither's god" seemed very near, not as one afar off. praying for a home. a young southern girl, who had lost a position through five months' sickness, and found herself, at last, in the street and penniless, turned her steps to a daily prayer-meeting. she said her earliest impressions from her mother were, that the lord never failed those who really put their trust in him. she had sought work for food and shelter, though destitute of sufficient covering to keep her from trembling with cold, and, so far, sought in vain; but she was sure it was waiting for her somewhere, and she thought perhaps god's people could tell her where. she was right. a sweet-faced lady, who had listened, said she wanted some young girl who might help her a little when she left for her summer residence, and she had been waiting to find a child of pious parents. bessie went home with her from that very meeting, and, in two weeks, came back, with bright eyes and warm, good clothing, to say good-by to the ladies who had spoken to her so kindly, and, in whose midst, she had found a second mother. they were to leave town the next day, and she asked permission to come to the meeting once more and tell what the lord had done for her. how much good two dollars did. a lady sent two dollars to a brave-hearted sister--who, by faith alone, and not by money, had gathered some sick and poor about her, and lived only by prayer--and a note of apology and half-contempt that it was such a miserable pittance. she received, in reply, the following little financial statement: "my dear friend:--remember the five loaves and two fishes, and listen to the message of your two dollars. this is the way i expended it: corned beef,. . . . . . . . . . . . . $ chop and egg for sick aunty,. . . . . . sweet potatoes, . . . . . . . . . . . . white potatoes, . . . . . . . . . . . . cabbage and bread,. . . . . . . . . . . tea, milk and sugar,. . . . . . . . . . ----- $ the balance bought the coal with which it was cooked, and _fifteen_ people were fed!" saved from starvation. on the second floor of a rear house lived a lady well known once as among the foremost members of a wealthy church. the first blow of adversity opened a wide passage for a succession of disasters. she passed through the whole sliding scale, until the missionary found her in the poor, dilapidated tenement where, for two days and nights, she had lain in bed to keep warm; or as nearly so as her scanty covering would admit. it was saturday, and the only food she had to keep her alive until monday, was two soda biscuits! she had sold everything comfortable in the way of furniture; all her clothing but one respectable suit for the street, and the only thing remaining, that pointed to the history of better days, was a pair of gold eye-glasses, given her by her dying mother. within a few months her dire necessity had often pointed to the glasses; but she could not see without them, nor could she sell the gold frames unless she had means to have the glass set in commoner ones. moreover, the harpies who feed and thrive on the miseries of the poor, would in no case have given her more than twenty-five cents for them; and the short respite derived from that amount would not have compensated for the sacrifice. she had looked at them that morning; felt that starve she must and would, but that souvenir of her mother should never leave her. she went back to bed and prayed fervently that the lord would show her some way of escape, or take her that day to himself. she slept an hour or two, and then awakened, strong in the conviction that he would show her some way before night, and though it was six o'clock p.m., before the missionary called, no doubt had arisen to trouble her mind; and as soon as he entered and introduced himself, she said--"you are a messenger from the lord, sir; i have been expecting you." god with us. an old woman was taking home' some sewing the night before, and passing through a narrow and dark street, was knocked down by a runaway horse. taken up senseless and unknown, she was carried into the house of a kind family who sent for a physician. it was not till next morning that she recovered consciousness, and was able to give her address. a messenger was at once dispatched to her husband, who was supposed to be wild with terror. he was truly thankful to hear from human lips of her whereabouts; but said he knew she was not dead, and he would see her in the morning; for the lord had been with him all night and assured him of it. he had also kept the fire from going out; and now that she would be brought home in a few hours, he was ready to trust his father, as he had been through the night. his hourly friend was immanuel, god _with_ us; not god somewhere or other in infinite space. a vessel saved. a vessel was six months making the passage from liverpool to bermuda island. fogs enveloped it; winds sent it hither and thither; captain and mate lost their reckoning, lost their senses; and when, added to the rest, the vessel sprung a leak, gave up in despair. crew and passengers were finally reduced to a few drops of water and one potato a day, and they merely waited death from starvation or drowning. all but one! one man; a minister, whose faith and belief in their final escape burned but brighter and brighter, as the others sank in the gloom of silent despair. a few days before they made the land, the leakage suddenly ceased; no one could account for it; but a week after their arrival, when the vessel had been condemned by the authorities as unsea-worthy, it was proposed to turn it bottom upward and see what stopped the leak. god seemed to have performed a miracle for them, when it was discovered that that end of the vessel was entirely covered with barnacles! a remarkable prayer concerning a remarkable text. a clergyman, accustomed to preach regularly in his journey through fleming circuit, kentucky, was preparing on one saturday for the labors of the next day. he was then staying at the residence of a family named bowers, from which he was to journey the next day five miles to preach at a.m., at a church called mt. olivet. on this saturday, as he relates the incident, as soon and as privately as practicable, i pored over the bible in quest of a suitable subject for the next day at mount olivet, and strange to tell! not one passage in the whole book, that afternoon and night, could i fix upon, as, in my estimation, suitable for the next day. there was one passage, (two or three clauses of which i had by some means got fixed in my memory), that early that afternoon appeared in my mind as though each word was written in capital letters. i turned to the whole passage as soon as i could find it; heb. : - ; and read, "for it is impossible for those who were once enlightened," etc., etc. i had previously studied that whole subject, as recorded in the original, and as disposed of by learned commentators of different creeds. i had settled in my own mind the import of the passage. but it seemed unsuitable for me, not then three years old in the ministry, to attempt the settlement of a theological question, about which the best and most learned of modern days had differed. i therefore tried to dismiss it from my mind, and to find some passage more suitable for the coming morrow. but my constant effort proved unsuccessful; and the said passage in hebrews often recurred to my mind. thus passed my time till i had to go to bed, resolving to attempt an early settlement of the growing difficulty next morning. but the morning studies produced no change in the unsettled state of the question, what shall i preach from to-day? thus matters remained until i reached mount olivet, and had to begin service without a text. but i concluded if a suitable text did not occur while singing, praying and reading some scripture lesson, rather than have no text, i would take heb. : - . and, cornered in this dilemma, so i did, and used it as well as i could. i then passed around the circuit as usual, and the fourth saturday thereafter, i arrived again at brother bowers', preached, met the class, etc. then, when all the class had left the room except their own family, brother and sister bowers said to me, each manifesting intense feeling and interest, "have you heard of the _strange_ thing that happened when you were here four weeks ago?" said i, "no! what was it?" they said, "did you see a man sitting in the house while you was preaching to-day?" describing his dress, looks, etc. i answered, "yes." said they, "did you see a woman sitting over there," describing her? i said, "yea." said they, "they are husband and wife--their name is--(i have long since forgotten the name)--they are good members of the presbyterian church, their children are members of our class, as you have called their names every time you have examined us. the man and his wife were here and heard you four weeks ago--they know our rules, and when those not of our church were dismissed, they left their children with us, as usual, and their parents started home. and, as they themselves tell us and others, as they went along, said the woman to her husband, 'does not mr. akers preach to-morrow at mount olivet?' and he answered, 'i believe he does.' said she, '_well, if i thought he would take a certain text i would like very much to go and hear him._' said her husband, '_what text_?' and she repeated the whole passage in _hebrews_ : - . said her husband, 'well, i reckon he will take some subject that will be interesting, and if you say so we will not go to our own church to-morrow, we will go to mount olivet.' she answered, '_agreed,_ and i do pray the lord that he may take that text.' and she says, she continued to pray all that evening and next morning, until sitting in the church at mount olivet, she heard _you read out the said text, when she knew the lord had answered her prayer_, and she could scarcely help from loud crying of thanks to god." i then told brother and sister bowers my troubles about that text, as above stated. the lord answers prayer. how she learned to love the bible. the rev. frederick g. clark thus writes of an answer to prayer, from one who wanted to love the bible more: "twenty-seven years ago, in the congregation of my first charge, was a lady whose love for the bible was something remarkable. in the confidence of a pastoral visit, she told me of her joy in the divine word, and also recited the incidents of her experience in this regard. she had formerly read her bible as so many do--a chapter now, and a halfchapter then, without much interest or profit. she was, even then, most interested in religious things. but her chief sources of spiritual strength were in such writings as those of baxter, payson and robert phillips. it was her custom to read the bible from duty, and then turn to these uninspired volumes for the kindling of a higher devotion. for a good while this satisfied her; but, at length, she came to feel grieved about it. she thought it a dishonor to god's word that any book should be as interesting to her as the bible. she tried to change this, but, at first, with little success. the bible was still duty--baxter was pleasure and spiritual elevation. "_at length, she could bear it no longer; so she took the case to god, with strong crying. she told her heavenly father how grieved she was that any book should rival the bible in her affections. she asked this one thing--and she renewed her prayer every day--that her first delight might be in reading the word of god_. i think it was some time before she felt that her request was granted. but, at length, the answer to her prayer was complete and marvelous. a strange light came over the sacred page. a fascination held her to her bible. she discovered a depth, a meaning, a curiosity, a charm, which were all new and most wonderful. sometimes, when she had finished reading her bible for the night, and had closed the book and had moved towards her bed, she would go back again and enjoy the luxury of a few more verses. the blind restored to sight. at the age of twenty years, a lady in winchester, iowa, began to lose her health, and in a short time was confined to her bed. and she writes:--"in addition to this i lost the use of my eyes, and was blind and helpless, a greater portion of my time for five years. "i enjoyed the blessing of prayer and trust some six months before feeling a liberty to pray for the healing of my body; fearing i should desire it without due submission to god's will. it was with _fear and trembling_ that i first made known this request. though my pleadings in this direction were earnest, and often agonizing, yet i could say with a fervor as never before, 'not my will, but thine be done.' "about the end of november, or early in december, , i realized that my faith was perfect, that i was ready _now_ to be healed, that my faith was momentarily waiting on god, resting without a doubt on the promises. from this time forward my faith remained fixed with but one exception. during the time between december, , and july, , i was healed to such an extent that i could walk some, and see more or less every day, though sometimes with only one of my eyes. a portion of this time i felt as though in a furnace of fire; but amid the flames i realized the presence of the son of god, who said, '_have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction_.' this for a time seemed an answer to my petition, and so thought it my life-work to suffer; for a while my faith became inactive, and i almost ceased praying for my health. though i felt submissive, yet somehow i was soon crying, and that most instinctively, 'thou son of david, have mercy on me.' after this, my faith did not waver. oh, the lesson of patience i learned in thus _waiting_ on _god's_ good time. and with what comfort could i present my body an offering to him, realizing that as soon as at all possible with his will, i should be healed; i had an assurance of this, but did not know whether it would be during life, or accomplished only at death. "in this manner i waited before god until the morning of the th of july, when, without ecstasy of joy, or extra illumination, came a sense of the presence of jesus, and a presentation of this gift, accompanied with these words: 'here is the gift for which you have been praying; are you willing to receive it?' "i at first felt the incoming of the divine power at the parts diseased, steadily driving out the same, until death was swallowed up in victory. i at once arose from my bed, and proceeded to work about the house, to the great astonishment of my friends, some of whom thought me wild; but i continued my work, assuring them that jesus had healed me. realizing the scrutiny and doubt with which i was observed, i said to my father, 'what do you think?' he replied, 'it is supernatural power; no one can deny it.' "my healing took place on wednesday; on saturday was persuaded to lie down, which i did, but found the bed was no place for me; thought of peter's wife's mother, who 'arose and ministered to them; knew that to her, strength, as well as health, was instantly given, as in the case of the palsied man, who rose, took up his bed, and departed. i returned to my work, backing my experience with those in god's word, and since then have not lain down during the day time. "my friends could not realize the completeness of the cure, until i read a full hour, and that by lamp-light, and until asked to desist, the first opportunity after being healed. "a week from this time, i discharged the hired girl, taking charge of the household work, which i have continued with perfect ease. about four weeks after my healing, had occasion to walk four miles, which i did with little or no weariness. let me add to the praise of god, that i have no disease whatever. am able to do more hard work with less weariness, than at any other period in my life, and faith in the lord is the balm that made me whole." the widow's shoes. a poor woman--a widow with an invalid son--a member of the church, could not attend church, or the neighborhood prayer-meetings, for the want of shoes. she asked the lord for the shoes. that very day the village school-master called in to see her son. meanwhile he noticed that the boy's mother had very poor shoes. he said nothing, but felt impressed, and inwardly resolved to purchase the poor woman a pair of shoes forthwith. he accordingly hired a horse, rode two miles on horseback to a shoe-store, bought the shoes, and requested them sent to the widow's cottage without delay. they proved a perfect fit; and that very night the overjoyed woman hurried to the prayer-meeting to announce that in answer to prayer the lord had sent her the shoes. the young school-master, who, i suspect, was my informant himself, now a venerable, white-haired man, heard the poor woman's testimony; and his pillow that night was wet with tears of gratitude and joy because god had used him thus to bless the poor widow, and to answer her prayers. a remarkable dream. the late dr. whitehead was accustomed to repeat with pleasure' the following fact: in the year , he was stationed as an itinerant preacher in cornwall. he had to preach one evening in a little village where there was a small methodist society. "the friend," said he, "at whose house we preached, had at that time a daughter, who lived with one of our people about ten miles off. his wife was gone to attend her daughter, who was dangerously ill of a fever; and her husband had that day received a message from her, informing him that his child's life was despaired of. he earnestly and with tears desired mr. whitehead to recommend his daughter to god in prayer, both before and after preaching. he did so in the most warm and affectionate manner. late that evening, or very early next morning, while the young woman's mother was sitting by her daughter's bedside (who had been in a strong delirium for several days), she opened her eyes and hastily addressed her mother thus: 'o mother! i have been dreaming that i saw a man lifting up his eyes and hands to heaven, and fervently praying to god for my recovery! the lord has heard his prayers, and my fever is gone; and what is far better, the lord has spoken peace to my soul, and sealed his pardoning love on my heart. i know it, i feel it, my dear mother; and his spirit bears witness with my spirit, that i am a child of god, and an heir of glory.' her mother, thinking that she was still in delirium, desired her to compose herself, and remain quiet. the daughter replied, 'my dear mother, i am in no delirium now; i am perfectly in my senses; do help me to rise, that upon my bended knees i may praise god.' her mother did so, and they both praised god with joyful hearts, and from that hour the young woman recovered so fast, that she was soon able to attend to the affairs of the family where she lived. she had never seen mr. whitehead, previous to this remarkable time; but some weeks after, she saw him, and the moment she beheld his face, she fainted away. as soon as she came to herself, she said, 'sir, you are the person i saw in my dream, when i was ill in a violent fever; and i beheld you lift up your hands and eyes to heaven, and most fervently pray for my recovery and conversion to god. the lord, in mercy, heard your prayers, and answered them to the healing of my wounded spirit, and to the restoration of my body. i have walked in the light of his countenance from that time to the present, and i trust i shall do so as long as i live.' how remarkably does this circumstance illustrate the words of st. james, 'the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the lord shall raise him up, and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him!'" "you must not go." a remarkable instance of deep impression occasionally made by the holy spirit on the mind of the rev. william bramwell during prayer, occurred in liverpool. a pious young woman, a member of society, wished to go to her friends, then living in jamaica. she took her passage, had her luggage taken on board, and expected to sail on the following day. having the greatest respect for mr. bramwell, she waited upon him, to take leave and request an interest in his prayers. before parting, they knelt down, and he recommended her to the care of god. after he had been engaged in prayer some time, he suddenly paused, and thus addressed her, "my dear sister, you must not go to-morrow. god has just told me you must not go." she was surprised, but he was positive, and prevailed upon her to postpone her voyage, and assisted her to remove her luggage out of the vessel. the ship sailed, and in about six weeks intelligence arrived that the vessel was lost, and all on board had perished. evil averted. a correspondent of the _guide to holiness_ says: "we remember a poor woman who had had a life of sore vicissitude which she bore with remarkable christian cheerfulness; and after a time of the suspension of trial, a bad prospect came in sight. she resorted to a friend to whom she confidingly related the threatening evil, and at parting said, 'oh pray for us.' the case as it was known was taken immediately that early morning to the throne of grace and laid out in all its circumstances with a deeply sympathizing heart, and a consciousness of the past sufferings of that woman--and as the friend rose from prayer, the answer was given that the evil was averted, and a new change would come to that afflicted one. "that very day a strange deliverance and opening appeared which set that family at rest from their peculiar trials for the rest of life." how a poor little cripple converted a village. mr. d.l. moody relates the instance of a poor little cripple, whose prayers were answered to the conversion of _fifty-six people._ "i once knew a little cripple who lay upon her death bed. she had given herself to god, and was distressed only because she could not labor for him actively among the lost. her clergyman visited her, and hearing her complaint, told her from her sick bed she could pray; to pray for those she wished to see turning to god. he told her to write the names down, and then to pray earnestly; he went away and thought of the subject no more. "soon a feeling of religious interest sprang up in the village, and the churches were crowded nightly. the little cripple heard of the progress of the revival, and inquired anxiously for the names of the saved. a few weeks later she died, and among a roll of papers that was found under her little pillow, was one bearing the names of fifty-six persons, every one of whom had in the revival been converted. by each name was a little cross by which the poor crippled saint had checked off the names of the converts as they had been reported to her." please god, give us a home. mr. moody tells of a beautiful answer to the faith of a little child. "i remember a child that lived with her parents in a small village. one day the news came that her father had joined the army (it was the beginning of our war), and a few days after, the landlord came to demand the rent. the mother told him she hadn't got it, and that her husband had gone into the army. he was a hard-hearted wretch, and he stormed, and said that they must leave the house; he wasn't going to have people who couldn't pay the rent. "after he was gone, the mother threw herself into the armchair, and began to weep bitterly. her little girl, whom she taught to pray in faith, (but it is more difficult to practice than to preach,) came up to her, and said, '_what makes you cry, mamma, i will pray to god to give us a little home, and won't he_?' what could the mother say? so the little child went into the next room and began to pray. the door was open, and the mother could hear every word. _"'o, god, you have come and taken away father, and mamma has got no money, and the landlord will turn us out because we can't pay, and we will have to sit on the door-step, and mamma will catch cold. give us a little home_.' then she waited as if for an answer, and then added, '_won't you, please, god_?' "she came out of that room quite happy, expecting a home to be given them. the mother felt reproved. god heard the prayer of that little one, for he touched the heart of the cruel landlord, and she has never paid any rent since." god give us the faith of that little child, that we may likewise expect an answer, "_nothing wavering_." "of course he will." mr. moody also gives the story of a little child whose father and mother had died, and she was taken into another family. the first night she asked if she could pray, as she used to do. they said, oh, yes! so she knelt down, and prayed as her mother taught her, and when that was ended she added a little prayer of her own: "_oh, god, make these people as kind to me as father and mother were_." then she paused, and looked up, as if expecting an answer, and added, "_of course he will_." how sweetly simple was that little one's faith; she expected god to "do," and she got her request. striking answer. the following incidents are specially contributed to these pages by rev. j.s. bass, a home missionary of brooklyn, n.y.: "while living in canada, my eldest daughter, then a girl of ten years of age, rather delicate and of feeble health, had a severe attack of chorea, "st. vitus's dance." to those who have had any experience in this distressing complaint, nothing need be said of the deep affliction of the household at the sight of our loved one, as all her muscles appeared to be affected, the face distorted with protrusion of the tongue, and the continuous involuntary motions by jerks of her limbs. the ablest medical advice and assistance were employed, and all that the sympathy of friends and the skill of physicians could do were of no avail. she grew worse rather than better, and death was looked to as a happy release to the sufferings of the child, and the anguish of the parents; as the medical men had given as their opinion that the mind of the child would become diseased, and if her life were lengthened, it would be an enfeebled body united to an idiotic mind. "but god was better to us than our most sanguine hopes far better to us than our fears. "in our trouble we thought on god, and asked his help. we knew we had the prayers of some of god's chosen ones. on a certain sunday morning i left my home to fill an appointment in the wesleyan chapel in the village of cooksville, two miles distant. i left with a heavy heart. my child was distressing to look upon, my wife and her sister were worn out with watching and fatigue. it was only from a sense of duty that i left my home that morning. during the sermon god refreshed and encouraged my heart still to trust in him. after the service, many of the congregation tarried to inquire of my daughter's condition, among them an aged saint, sister wilson, widow of a wesleyan preacher, and sister galbraith, wife of the class-leader. mother wilson encouraged me to 'hope in god,' saying 'the sisters of the church have decided to spend to-morrow morning together in supplication and prayer for you and your family, and that god would cure ruth.' "monday morning came. ruth had passed a restless night. weak and emaciated, her head was held that a tea-spoonful of water should be given her. my duties called me away (immediately after breakfast) to a neighbor's; about noon, a messenger came, in great haste, to call me home. on entering the sick-chamber, i noticed the trundle-bed empty, and my little girl, with smiling face, sitting in a chair at the window, (say eight feet from the bed.) i learned from the child that, while on the bed, the thought came to her that, if she could only get her feet on the floor, the lord would help her to sit up. by an effort, she succeeded, moving herself to the edge of the bed, put her legs over the side until her feet touched the floor, and sat up. she then thought, if she tried, the lord would help her to stand up, and then to walk; all of which she accomplished, without any human aid, she being left in the room alone. the same afternoon she was in the yard playing with her brothers, quickly gained flesh, recovered strength, with intellect clear and bright; she lived to the age of twenty-two, never again afflicted with this disease, or anything like it. at the age of twenty-two, ripe for heaven, it pleased god to take her to himself. "the sisters, led by mother wilson, waited on god in prayer, and god fulfilled that day the promise--isaiah : : 'and it shall come to pass, that before they call, i will answer; and while they are yet speaking, i will hear.'" a remarkable case. on the afternoon of monday, august , , i was sent for to visit mrs. m., who was reported to be very sick. arriving at the house, i was told that "mrs. m., after a hard day's work, had retired to rest saturday night in her usual state of health, that immediately after getting in bed she had fallen asleep and had not awoke up to this time, ( o'clock monday evening,) that three physicians had been in attendance for hours, that all their efforts to arouse her were without avail." in the chamber, mrs. m. lay in the bed apparently in a troubled sleep, she was a woman of medium size, about years of age, the mother of a large family; around her bed stood her husband, four sons and a daughter, and relatives, about twelve persons in all. the husband and sons were irreligious, but awed in the presence of this affliction. i felt, as perhaps i never felt before, my ignorance, my helplessness, and the necessity of entire dependence on god for guidance and inspiration, that prayer should be made in accordance with his will. i knelt at the bedside and held the woman's hand in mine, lifted up my heart to god and prayed, "if it be thy will and for thy glory, and for the good of this family, grant that this woman may once more open her eyes to look upon her children, once more open her lips in counsel and holy admonition." while thus praying, as i believe, inspired by the spirit of god, and with faith in jesus christ, i was conscious of a movement around me, and opening my eyes, i saw mrs. m. sitting up in bed. some of the persons in the room were weeping, others laughing; the sons came nearer the bed, and asked, "mother, do you know me? do you know me?" she called each by name, and beckoned to her daughter, held her by the hand. i, poor faithless one, was wondering what does this mean? one of the sons took me by the hand saying, "oh! mr. bass, god heard and answered that prayer." i sung the hymn, "there is a fountain filled with blood," mrs. m. singing to the close, and then, apparently exhausted, sank back on the pillow, speechless and unconscious. the physicians were sent for, came, wondered, speculated, administered medicine, blistered the calves of the legs, and cupped the back of the neck, but to no purpose. she remained in speechless unconsciousness till the next afternoon, when, while prayer was being made, she again opened her eyes, sat up and conversed with her children and friends. in a few days she resumed her household duties, enjoying a good degree of health and strength, and faithfully serving god and her generation until it pleased god to call her home to the rest prepared for the people of god, three years after the incident, the subject of this paper. a little girl's beautiful faith. a little german girl, who had never hitherto known the name of the lord jesus, was led to attend a mission school. it was the custom at the school, before the little ones received their dinner, to lift their hands and thank god for their food. when in course of time she spent her days at home, and her father's family were gathered around their own table, this little girl said: "_pa, we must hold up our hand's and thank god before we eat._ that's the way we do at the mission." so winning was the little one in her ways, the parents yielded at once. at another time her father was sick and unable to work, and the little girl said, "_pa, i'm going to pray that you may get well and go to work to-morrow morning_." at four o'clock in the morning she awoke and called out, "_pa, don't you feel better_." the father said, "yes, i am better," and he went to his work in the morning, although weak and obliged to rest by the way. there came a time once when he could not get work, and there was no food in the house for dinner. this little girl knelt down and asked god to send them their dinner, and when she rose from her knees, she said, "now we must wait till the whistle blows, till o'clock." at twelve o'clock the whistle blew, and the little girl said, "get the table ready, it is coming," and just then in came a neighbor with soup for their dinner. the lord helps to pay debts. the author of this incident is known to the editor of "remarkable providences," and speaking of it says: "_god never gave me exactly what i wanted. he always gave me more."_ "when i married i was a working man; i had not much money to spare. in about three months after my marriage, i fell ill, and my illness continued for more than nine months. at that period i was in great distress. i owed a sum of money and had no means to pay it. it must be paid on a certain day, or i must go to jail. i had no food for myself or wife; and in this distress i went up to my room, and took my bible. i got down on my knees and opened it, laid my fingers on several of the promises, and claimed them as mine. i said, 'lord, this is thine own word of promise; i claim thy promises.' i endeavored to lay hold of them by faith. i wrestled with god for sometime in this way. i got up off my knees, and walked about some time. i then went to bed, and took my bible, and opened it on these words: '_call upon me in the day of trouble, and i will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me_.' "i said, 'it is enough, lord.' i knew deliverance would come, and i praised god with my whole heart. whilst in this frame of mind i heard a knock at the door. i went and opened it and a man handed me a letter. i turned to look at the letter, and when i looked up again, the man was gone. "the letter contained the sum i wanted, and five shillings over. it is now eighteen years ago. i never knew who sent it. god only knows. thus god delivered me out of all my distress. to him be all the praise." praying for a lost pocket-book. a contributor to _the christian_ writes as follows: "a few months since i lost my pocket-book, containing money and papers of a large amount--more than i felt able to lose--and which i should feel the loss of, as i was owing at that time about the same amount. "on the day of my loss, i had been from home about a mile and a half, and it was about o'clock _in the evening_, when i returned. and it was not till then that i ascertained my loss. "my health was very poor, and the prospect of regaining the lost pocket-book was quite uncertain; it was so dark that i thought it would be impossible for me to find it. consequently i determined to remain awake during the night, and at o'clock in the morning search for it, and if possible, find it before any one should pass over the road. "the seeming impossibility of finding it, and the reflections consequent upon the loss of the money were so unpleasant to me that i was led to make it a subject of prayer, fully trusting that in some way god would so direct that i should come in possession of it. if so, i determined to give him $ of it. "as soon as i had formed this purpose, all that unpleasant feeling left me, and i did not admit a single doubt but i should get it. "accordingly, _at o'clock in the morning_ i made a thorough search, but could not find it. yet my faith in god's guiding hand did not fail me, and i believed that my trust would be realized. "while i was thus thinking of the certainty of the fulfillment of the promises of the gospel to the believer, i was called on by a gentleman, a leading business man of the place, who came to know if _i had lost anything_. "i told him i had lost my pocket-book. he wanted to know how much it contained. i told him. he said his son had occasion to pass early on that morning, and had found it in the road, and that in all probability i should otherwise have lost it, as two men passed by immediately after it was found. "thus god found it and returned it to me." * * * * * lives of faith and trust an extraordinary life of faith and trust. for many centimes there has not been a more remarkable testimony of unfaltering trust in the faithfulness of god in supplying human wants, than is found in the life and labor of george muller and his orphan home, in bristol, england. his record is one of humility, yet one of daily dependence upon the providence and the knowledge of god to supply his daily wants. it has been one of extraordinary trial; yet never, for a single hour, has god forsaken him. beginning, in , with absolutely nothing; giving himself, his earthly all and his family to the lord, and asking the lord's pleasure and blessing upon his work of philanthropy, he has never, for once, appealed to any individual for aid, for assistance, for loans; but has relied wholly in prayer to the lord--coming with each day's cares and necessities--and the lord has ever supplied. he has never borrowed, never been in debt; living only upon what the lord has sent--yet in the forty-third year of his life of faith and trust--he has been able, through the voluntary contributions which the lord has prompted the hearts of the people to give, to accomplish these wonderful results: _over half a million dollars_ have been spent in the construction of buildings--_over fifteen thousand orphans have been cared for and supported--and over one million dollars_ have been received for their support. _every dollar of which has been asked for in believing prayer from the lord_. the record is the most astounding in the faith of the christian religion, and the power and providence of god to answer prayer, that modern times can show. the orphans' homes have been visited again and again by christian clergymen of all denominations, to feel the positive satisfaction and certainty that all this were indeed the work of prayer, and they have been abundantly convinced. the spectacle is indeed a _standing miracle. "a man sheltering, feeding, clothing, educating, and mailing comfortable and happy, hundreds of poor orphan children, with no funds of his own, and no possible means of sustenance, save that which god sent him in answer to prayer_." an eminent clergyman who for five years had been constantly hearing of this work of faith, and could hardly believe in its possibility, at last visited mr. muller's home for the purpose of thorough investigation, exposing it, if it were under false pretenses or mistaken ways of securing public sympathy, or else with utmost critical search, desired to become convinced it was indeed supported only by true prayer. he had reserved for himself, as he says, a wide margin for deductions and disappointment, but after his search, as "_i left bristol, i exclaimed with the queen of sheba, 'the half had not been told me.' here i saw, indeed, seven hundred orphan children fed and provided for, by the hand of god, in answer to prayer, as literally and truly as elijah was fed by ravens with meat which the lord provided_." mr. muller himself has said in regard to their manner of living: "_greater and more manifest nearness of the lord's presence i have never had, than when after breakfast, there were no means for dinner, and then the lord provided the dinner for more than one hundred persons; and when after dinner, there were no means for the tea; and yet the lord provided the tea; and all this without one single human being having been informed about our need_." thus it will be seen his life is one of daily trial and trust, and he says, "our desire therefore, is, not that we may be without trials of faith, but that the lord graciously would be pleased to support us in the trial, that we may not dishonor him by distrust." the question having been asked of him, "such a way of living must lead the mind continually to think whence food, clothes, etc., are to come, with no benefit for spiritual exercise," he replies: "our minds are very little tried about the necessaries of life; just because the care respecting them is laid upon our father, who, because we are his children, not _only allows_ us to do so, _but will have us to do so_. "it must also be remembered that even if our minds _were_ much tried about our supplies, yet because we look to the _lord alone_ for all these things, we should be brought by our sense of need, into the presence of our father for the supply of it, _and that is a blessing_, and satisfying to the soul." this humble statement from the experience of one who has tried and proven the lord in little things, as well as large, conveys to the christian that world of practical instruction which is contained in the precepts of the bible, viz: to _encourage all to cast their cares on god_; and teaches them the lessons of their dependence upon him for their daily supplies. the meaning of the lord's blessing upon the work of mr. muller, is to make it a standing example and illustration to be adopted in every christian home. "_how god supplies our needs, how he rewards faith, how he cares for those who trust in him. how he can as well take care of his children to-day as he did in the days of the prophets, and how surely he fulfills his promise, even when the trial brings us to the extremities of circumstances seemingly impossible_." mr. muller's experience is remarkable, not because the lord has made his an exceptional case for the bestowal of blessings, but because of the _remarkable, unwavering and persevering application of his faith_, by the man himself. his faith began with small degrees, and small hopes. it was painfully tried. but it clung hopefully, and never failed to gain a triumph. each trial only increased its tenacity, and brought him greater humility, for it opened his own heart to a sense of his own powerlessness, and this faith has grown with work and trial, till its strength is beyond all precedent. the lessons which the lord wishes each one to take from it, is this: "_be your faith little or weak, never give it up; apply my promises to all your needs, and expect their fulfillment. little things are as sacred as great things_." in the journal kept by mr. muller during his many years of experience, he has preserved many incidents of answer to prayer in small matters, of which we quote the following from his book. "_the power of faith and prayer_." . "one of the orphan boys needed to be apprenticed. i knew of no suitable believing master who would take an indoor apprentice. i gave myself to prayer, and brought the matter daily before the lord. at last, though i had to pray about the matter from may to september, the lord granted my request, and i found a suitable place for him. . i asked the lord that he would be pleased to deliver a certain sister in the lord from the great spiritual depression under which she was suffering, and after three days the lord granted my request. . i asked the lord daily in his mercy to keep a sister in the lord from insanity, who was then apparently on the border of it. i have now to record his praise, after nearly four years have passed away, that the lord has kept her from it. . during this year has occurred the conversion of one of the greatest sinners that i had ever heard of in all my service for the lord. repeatedly i fell on my knees with his wife, and asked the lord for his conversion, when she came to me in the deepest distress of soul, on account of the most barbarous and cruel treatment that she had received from him in his bitter enmity against her for the lord's sake. and now the awful persecutor is converted. . it pleased the lord to try my faith in a way in which before, it had not been tried. my beloved daughter was taken ill on june . this illness, at first a low fever, turned to typhus, _and july there seemed no hope of her recovery_. now was the trial of faith, but faith triumphed. my wife and i were enabled to give her up into the hands of the lord. he sustained us both exceedingly. she continued very ill till about july , when restoration began. on august , she was so far restored that she could be removed to clevedon for change of air. it was then days since she was taken ill. . the heating apparatus of our orphan home unexpectedly gave out. it was the commencement of winter. to repair the leak was a questionable matter. to put in a new boiler would in all probability take many weeks. workmen were sent for to make repairs. but on the day fixed for repairs a _bleak north wind set in_." now came cold weather, the fire must be put out, the repairs could not be put off. gladly would i have paid one hundred pounds if thereby the difficulty could have been overcome, and the children not be exposed to suffer for many days from living in cold rooms. at last i determined on falling entirely into the hands of god, who is very merciful and of tender compassion. i now asked the lord for two things, viz.: "that he would be pleased to change the _north wind into a south wind_, and that he would give the workmen a mind to work. well, the memorable day came. the evening before, the bleak north wind blew still; but on the wednesday the south wind blew _exactly as i had prayed_. the weather was so mild that no fire was needed. about half-past eight in the evening, the principal of the firm whence the boiler-makers came, arrived to see how the work was going on, and whether he could in any way speed the matter. the principal went with me to see his men; to the foreman of whom he said: "the men will work late this evening, and come very early again to-morrow." "_we would rather_," said the leader, "_work all night_." then remembered i the second part of my prayer, that god would give the men a mind to work. by morning the repair was accomplished, the leak was stopped, and in thirty hours the fire was again in the boiler; _and all the time the south wind blew so mildly that there was not the least need of a fire_. . in the year , the scarlet fever broke out in several of the orphan homes. in one of which were four hundred girls, and in the other four hundred and fifty. it appeared among the infants. the cases increased more and more. but we betook ourselves to god in prayer. day by day we called upon him regarding this trial, and generally two or three times a day. at last, when the infirmary rooms were filled, and some other rooms that could be spared for the occasion, to keep the sick children from the rest, and when we had no other rooms to spare, at least not without inconvenience, it pleased the lord to answer our prayers, and in mercy stay the disease. the disease was very general in the town of bristol, and many children died in consequence. _but not one in the orphan home died. all recovered_. at another date, the whooping-cough also broke out among the four hundred and fifty girls of our home, and though many were dying in the towns of the same disease, yet all in the orphan home recovered except one little girl who had very weak lungs, a constitutional tendency to consumption. . in the early part of one summer, it was found that we had several boys ready to be apprenticed, but there were no applications made by masters for apprentices. this was no small difficulty, as the master must be also willing to receive the apprentice into his own family. we again gave ourselves to _prayer_, instead of _advertising_. some weeks passed, but the difficulty remained. we continued in prayer, and then one application was made for an apprentice, and from the time we first began, we have been able to find places for eighteen boys." the consumptive's home. in the united states there is a parallel record to george mailer's life of faith and trust, found in the history of the consumptive's home of boston, mass. it was established twelve years since by doctor cullis, who in the ardor of his faith and trust gave himself to the work of the lord, by ministering in _jesus' name_, to the poor consumptives who were unable to provide for themselves. doctor cullis is a man of humility, and devoted to his life work, and has been most abundantly blessed by the lord in his field. to the honor and glory of our heavenly father, he has never been forsaken by him. the institution began twelve years ago, in small quarters. now it embraces a very large gathering of useful enterprises: _a consumptive's home, children's home, grove hall church, tract repository, a training college_, and a _cancer home_. the means provided have all been sent by the lord, who has prompted the hearts of good people to send to it their voluntary contributions. there is no financial fund, endowment, or pecuniary provision whatever existing for the support of the home. no individuals have made any agreement for its support; there is no trade or occupation used or connected with it, whereby to obtain any remuneration. there has never been any appeal to man for assistance, no subscriptions ever taken, no contributions solicited, either publicly or privately; there are no agencies or connections to receive funds from any religious society for procuring charitable relief. the supplies for the carrying on of this work, during these twelve years, have been wholly _in answer to believing prayer, to the lord_. they have fulfilled faithfully the lord's commands, "_cast all your cares on him, for he careth for you_." they have also pleaded in faith, without a doubt, "_anything ye shall ask the father in my name, i will do it_." and they have asked and received, and the provider has never yet failed them. during the twelve years' time there has been sent to the consumptive's home, without any solicitation whatever, but in answer to believing prayer and faith and trust in god's providence, a sum no less than _three hundred and sixty thousand dollars, and over fifteen hundred patients have been gratuitously cared for_. no one has been urged, asked, or even hinted to contribute to it. each morning, noon and night prayer has been offered to send means to provide for their daily wants, and the great shepherd has sent the supplies. during these twelve years, the experiences of doctor cullis, the founder, have been most remarkable in the frequent answers to prayer in minute details of life, and especially in healing. there are so many such cases, that there is no possible room to doubt. there have often been moments, yes, days of distress and intense trial, when, with not a single penny on hand, it seemed as if failure had come; but faith could not let the promise go, neither was it possible for them to believe that he who could do so much, would forsake so good a work, which was undertaken only in obedience to the guidance and direction of the lord; and god has always brought deliverance, and honored them and brought glory to his own name. in the daily history of these struggles and trials and triumphs of faith, are found many surprising incidents, a few of which we relate. a bad debt paid. "to-day a bill was paid of $ , which i had given up as good for nothing. a long time ago i gave it to the lord in prayer, and promised him if it was ever canceled that it should be his." help in need. "the sums received for several days had been small. one day as the doctor was in prayer for his needs, he received a note from a lady asking him to call at her house, naming the day and the hour. at the time appointed he called, and found the lady sick in consumption, near to death. she said she had some money which she wished to dispose of before her death. she placed in his hand a _five hundred dollar note_. it was her last gift. she had received it from the hand of the lord, and she returned it to him again." praying for stoves. "this afternoon, knowing the necessity of stoves for some of the upper rooms, as the weather is quite cool, i went to the lord, in prayer, and told him of our need, praying him in one way to supply us. "i then went down town to a friend, to look at stoves and inquire the price, when he said, 'that's all right, i shall not charge anything,' and said he would see that they were put up. this man knew nothing of our great need; he had never visited the home, knew but little about it, and not a word did he know of the state of my purse. "the lord inclined the man's heart to give the stoves." praying for a furnace. "i am earnestly praying for the means to purchase a furnace, for we cannot receive patients into the new home until it can be warmed. i am looking to the lord, and he will help." _seven days later_. "a gentleman has this day ordered a furnace to be put in, with fourteen tons of coal at his expense. i will here say that his attention was not called to our need, but he asked how the house was to be warmed; he then learned of our want, and ordered as above. truly, 'whosoever believeth in him shall not be confounded.'" the lord's return for giving unto the poor. "this afternoon a poor woman, whose history i have known for some time, and who has a sick husband over eighty years of age, called on me, stating that she had only a ten-cent loaf of bread for herself and her husband to eat since wednesday, and to-day is saturday. "notwithstanding my own need, i felt that i could not withhold from one in greater straits than myself, so in christ's name, i gave her enough to procure necessary food for a few days. the lord did not forget it, but this evening has returned the amount with bountiful interest. for the turn i gave him, he has sent me $ . _'there is that scattereth yet increaseth_.'" a watch given to the lord--how the lord returns a better one. "last year, during a season of great need, i sold my watch; yesterday, the lord returned it by a gift of a much better one from a friend, who had purchased it abroad, knowing nothing of my need, thus proving, 'he that soweth bountifully, shall reap also bountifully.'" the lord gave double what was asked for. "this morning and noon i called upon the lord in prayer for the means to pay a bill of $ . by three p.m., a check was sent me of $ ." blessings amid calamities. "the roof of one of our houses having caught fire from a spark from a neighbor's chimney, it was mostly destroyed; some of the furniture, and the whole home badly damaged by water. all hearts thanked the lord the circumstances were no worse. in the midst of our calamity, blessings surrounded us. an unknown donor sends in tons of coal. for weeks i have been praying for the means to purchase our winter fuel, and now the lord has inclined the heart of an unknown friend to supply our need." a remarkable promise. at one period in the history of the consumptive's home, a sum of three thousand dollars placed in the safe, and reserved to be used for payment on the purchase of a new building was stolen, and there was not left a single dollar; every penny was gone. nothing daunted, again going to the lord, and pleading the lord's own promise, "_if ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will and it shall be done unto you_." the request was made in prayer for the three thousand dollars, and the promise of the amount was definitely made to be paid out a certain day. the day came. before it had arrived, the lord had sent the three thousand dollars with unusual contributions, and both the promises of the lord and that of his children were kept. the ordinary business man would have said it was foolishness for a poor man, with not a penny in the world, all his means stolen from him, to positively promise on a certain day the next month, to pay so large a sum, exactly the same as was stolen. the skeptic would have said, "all foolish to plead before an unseen god, and ask for such a sum. you will never get it. why didn't your god prevent your money from being stolen. if your bible is true, he ought to have protected you from loss." the answer to all these is thus: the doctor did trust in the promise of an unseen god, whom he had tested in the past many hundred times, and who had always been faithful in keeping his promises, and his faith knew that his god would not suffer his own work to fail nor suffer reproach. still further to silence the skeptic, let it be said that after the robbery became known, the sympathy for the institution became so much greater, that the contributions voluntarily sent in consequence thereof replaced the three thousand dollars within thirty days, and produced far more in excess, to go towards other needs. thus an adversity became a blessing. the lord uses sorrow to produce good. a woman delivered from the habit of drinking. "i visited a family for whom i have felt a deep interest for weeks past. the father had been out of employment some time, and they have lacked food and clothing. much of their trouble has been caused by the intemperance of the mother. her husband has borne long and patiently with her, and although she would for a long time leave off drinking, it was only to fall again still lower. while furnishing them with clothing, and assisting them in other ways, i besought the mother to give her heart to jesus, knowing that he could keep her from falling. she became, a constant attendant at our meetings. says "_jesus has taken her love for drink all away_." one of her little ones, who is just beginning to talk, said the other day, "mamma, you don't drink now." they are a happy family, and their home is greatly changed. prayer for purchasers. when removal to the new home was determined upon, there still remained five of the old buildings on hand to be disposed of. this too was taken to the lord in prayer that he might send purchasers. one building was sold in october, and the remaining four in november. when it is considered that a portion was property usually very difficult of sale, and that no advertisement of it had been made, no other means than prayer resorted to, it must be convincing to all that there must be "one who knoweth all things," who hears and helps in financial as well as in spiritual necessities. asking for large gifts. upon the th of september the record of the home was as follows: "there is due on the first of next month, $ , interest on our property, and we are now within four days of the time, with not a dollar towards it. for several days i have been asking that amount of the lord." now here was a man depending wholly upon _chance gifts_ for the livelihood of several hundred people, with a debt of over two thousand dollars to pay in four days. his occupation and work were such that no one could even possibly think of making any loans, as there was no security. neither was it the principle or the practice of the home ever to solicit a dollar. what was to be done? _it was taken to the lord in prayer_, and all waited the result. was it at all probable that so large a sum of money could be sent in so short a time by any one or any number of persons? that evening a letter from the probate office at exeter, n. h., was received by dr. cullis, informing them of the death of a citizen of portsmouth, with a bequest to the home of _five thousand dollars_. the lord answered their prayer the same day and sent _double what was asked for_. a severe tumor healed. during the year , there was under the professional care of dr. cullis, at the consumptive's home, a christian lady with a tumor which confined her almost continuously to her bed in severe suffering. all remedies were unavailing, and the only human hope was the knife; but feeling in my own heart the power of the promise, i one morning sat down by her bedside, and taking up the bible, i read aloud, god's promise to his believing children. "_and the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the lord shall raise him up: and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him_." i then asked her if she would trust the lord to remove this tumor and restore her to health and to her missionary work. she replied, "i am willing to trust the lord for it." i then knelt and anointed her with oil in the name of the lord, asking him to fulfill his own word. soon after i left she got up and walked three miles. from that time the tumor rapidly lessened until all trace of it at length disappeared. faith cured her. this incident was related by the lady herself in a public meeting in boston, where it was heard by the sorrowing wife of an afflicted husband, whose statement is as follows: "i was first confined to my house with a violent cold. i lost my voice completely, suffered with pain in my lungs and expectorated almost constantly. i grew worse every day, and in a week called in a physician. on examination he found my lungs diseased. i also had fever. with all his care my cough grew worse, and night sweats set in; a few weeks later my wife was told by the doctor that my lungs were badly ulcerated, and that my case being hopeless, it was not worth while for him to attend longer; also that she must not be surprised if i should pass away suddenly. i then tried some highly recommended medicine, which seemed only to increase my disease. "when i became so weak as to be nearly helpless, dr. cullis was called in. he sounded my lungs and gave the same verdict, saying my only hope for recovery was in the lord. diarrhea also set in, and my feet began to swell." this statement will show his perfect helplessness. after the return of his wife from the above meeting, he read over and over the precious promises of god, and became more and more convinced of the power of faith. believing that "_he is faithful that promised_" he sent for dr. cullis to come and pray with him. "dr. c. prayed, anointed me with oil, and in the name of the lord jesus, commanded me to be healed. instantly my whole being was thrilled with an unknown power, from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. from the moment i believed, the _work was done_. my lungs, so long diseased, breathed with new vigor, and i returned thanks to god for the results of faith. since that memorable night i have taken no medicine, and my health has been constantly improving, so _that i am feeling better now than i did before my sickness_." two years after he was seen by dr. cullis, and continued in perfect health, and engaged in active business. cured of cancer. a lady came to the consumptive's home with a cancer in the cheek, which had attained the size of a filbert. it had a very red and angry appearance. after prayer for her healing she went into the country, when some one remarked, 'e. thinks that faith will cure her, but _that_ is something that will have to be burned out or cut out.' her friends tried to induce the use of various applications, all of which she firmly refused. she returned home in eight weeks, entirely cured. her friends acknowledged, '_faith did do good after all_.' cured of neuralgia. a lady of east cambridge writes, "for nineteen years i have been afflicted with neuralgia; added to this, of late years a combination of diseases has rendered life an intolerable burden, and baffled the skill of every physician to whom i have applied. by the prayer of faith i have been healed, both body and soul, and made to rejoice continually. i can now say i am entirely well, and engaged in arduous work--often among the sick, losing whole nights of rest." cured of spine disease. dr. cullis thus speaks of a signal answer to his prayer. "while at the home of l.r. in england, i was asked to pray with his daughter, who had spinal curvature. subsequently l.r. writes, 'we. are full of thankfulness and praise about e. she is quite well and strong, and does everything like her sisters. she has such perfect faith that the lord had healed her, that she at once put away the board and said she should never lie upon it again, and on the following sunday she walked four miles in a hot sun, and sat for two hours on a bench without a back. as far as we can judge, she is quite well in every respect. for fifteen months before she had been a constant cause of anxiety to us--never walked or attended to study.'" an injured leg restored to proper length. "some months ago a young lady called, requesting to be prayed for. she simply told me that some years ago she was run over and her hip badly injured. i asked her if she could trust the lord for healing. she replied, 'yes.' i prayed, with her, and she went home. "i learned after a day or two, that she was perfectly cured, and obtained from her these facts: some six years before, she was run over by a hack, and her hip so injured that she was confined to her bed for six months. she then got up with a permanent lameness, one limb being shorter than the other. in two or three instances since, she has been confined to her bed for three months at a time. she now walks perfectly, both limbs being of the same length. she says of herself, 'i can leap and run as well as any other person, and my heart overruns with praise and thanksgiving to god.'" a lost voice regained. "some nine months since a lady showed signs of indisposition, and soon was attacked by a cough. change of air was prescribed, but after a lapse of some weeks she returned to her home, in no way improved. physicians were consulted, her lungs found to be much irritated and pulse low. soon all appetite left her, a hoarseness succeeded, resulting in entire loss of voice. "there was little desire to eat, as everything taken into the stomach caused great distress. months succeeded; nothing could be gained from medical treatment. i felt that i must trust all to god. i seemed to feel that god would heal me. i read in his bible, 'the prayer of _faith shall save the sick_.' i accepted it at once, i felt sure that it was for me. i was led to visit boston and see doctor cullis. i stated all the circumstances of my illness, and was asked if i could trust god to heal me? i replied, 'yes, i am sure the lord is able and willing.' "'we knelt in prayer; _in a moment, as it were, my. voice came to me, i was able to talk with ease_, and from that time nothing that i have eaten has given me any distress. the lord's promises are sure, and he has filled my soul with joy and praise.'" in speaking of the many cases of cures in answer to prayer, doctor cullis says: "i have noticed that in some cases the cure has been instantaneous; others i have prayed with two or three times, or even more. my explanation is, as far as i have been able to observe, that there has been oftentimes a question or lack of faith on the part of the patient; for some seem to come, not in faith, but as a matter of _experiment. god's word says it is the prayer of faith that shall save the sick._" from this it will be noticed that the _faith is that of the patient,_ and the more strongly it is fixed on god and the promise, the surer the answer. it is but justice to say, that in no case has there ever been the thought or the assumption, by doctor cullis himself, of having _any divinely conferred power_ to heal all that come to him, or for whom he may pray. no such power would ever be given to any human creature by our lord. it is the lord himself who works the wonder--but solely because of the faith of sufferers who have sought the addition of the prayer of one who is stronger in faith and prayer than its own. each must wait upon god, and must have faith without a doubt, and perfect willingness to trust all to him, and continue to expect the blessing. it should be noticed, also, that all who have come pleading the prayer of faith, and asking the lord for relief, have either then, or before, _pledged themselves to the service of the lord_, and have desired the good gifts they seek, that they may more efficiently work for his own honor and glory, and the good of others. when such a desire for healing is united with the desire and the promise to work in future for the lord, his own kingdom and glory, the lord is pleased with it, and his promise is made sure to those who come in faith. it is needless to say that those who come for prayer, with the desire only for _experiment_, and also those who are _withholding their lives or pledges of devotion to him, need never expect an answer_. cured of st. vitas' dance. "very early in childhood, i was seized with a nervous trouble, something like st. vitus' dance. as i grew older it did not pass off, but settled into a disease of the muscles. it became a terrible affliction. it was usually under my control, but i could not endure protracted work of any kind, or unusual fatigue; i had consulted, in various cities, the best physicians, but they pronounced it incurable. all that could be done was to be careful of overwork and excitement. it must have been twenty-five years since i was first taken. "doctor cullis asked me if i could give my body to the lord to be healed; i felt that i could truly say 'yes.' he then, in a simple manner, prayed that the lord would restore strength of nerve and muscle. i went home, touched and improved by the comforting words. at the end of the week i was startled at the recollection that i had felt hardly anything of my trouble. my nerves began to feel as if they were held with a grasp of iron. the muscles refused to move as before at every inclination. for two weeks this painful tension lasted. then i felt a gradual relaxation, and found that i was strong like other people. i tested myself in the severest way--walked, wrote and lifted--after each exertion i could enjoy perfect rest. the mystery of the miracles was explained to me. this power of god manifested in the past, is manifest to us still. faith can grasp and use it. close beside us stands a _living christ_." hip disease cured. a lady from brooklyn, n.y., came to the consumptive's home for prayer cure. "she had a diseased hip, and _had used crutches for twenty years_. often the hip joint would slip from its socket, so that it was impossible for her to walk without crutches. she now writes, 'my lameness was incurable, and god interposed in my behalf, in answer to your prayer. i have been able to walk for five months without the crutches i have used for over twenty years.'" a bad debt paid. a correspondent of doctor cullis, who was unable to collect a debt from a refractory and worthless debtor, promised to give it to the lord, if it was ever paid. the following is his letter: "perhaps you remember that the writer, some months ago, asked you to pray that some money which had been due him a long time, and which to all human appearance was never to be paid, might by god's interposition be paid in full. enclosed, find the full amount, $ , which was paid a few days since. all glory to him, who _never, never fails_." consumption instantly healed. "at a meeting in the chapel of the consumptive's home, held march , , public prayer was offered for a young man in florida, who was apparently gone in consumption; an interested friend had previously written him that prayer would be offered for him at that time. "not long after she received letters from him, stating that at _that same hour_ he too had joined in supplication, and _was instantly healed_. he says that while before the lord, pleading his promise, his voice and strength were taken away for a time. then he began to praise the lord, and to feel, 'tis done,' and it was done, and tells of the wonderful change, his ability to talk and sing, with no difficulty whatever." cured of catarrh. "i have been afflicted with catarrh for over twenty years. i had consulted many physicians and used many remedies--all failed to help me. in the spring of , i grew so much worse that life became a burden; i suffered from dizziness and great prostration; i was urged to go to you for faith cure. this was no new thing to me; i believed in it, yet found it difficult to exercise faith for myself. "my daughter went to see you, as i was then unable to go. i looked to god, and believed from that very moment. my whole soul and body seemed thrilled, and i began to gain strength immediately. "in a few days i was able to go to your _home_. you prayed simply that god would take all disease from me. i have been entirely well from that time; not only cured of catarrh, but tumors on my limbs were entirely removed. i desire to give god the praise; i bless him that he does forgive our transgressions and heal our diseases." these instances are only a very few out of many, that have occurred, too numerous for repetition here. it must be admitted, that god has most signally blessed the faith of the inmates of the consumptive's home, answered their prayer for others. in nearly all the cases of healing which have occurred, the sufferers have failed in all other means, and in their extremity have depended wholly in faith in god. in speaking of them, doctor cullis says: "we do not give these instances of the healing of the body, dear friends of jesus, as in any degree paramount to the healing of the soul; but that as the dear children of god, we may claim all our privileges, and enjoy the knowledge of our fullness of possession in him who declares" _all things are, yours_." shall we in any manner, of smallest or largest import, limit the love and power of god, who deigneth out of the highest heaven to declare," _the lord thinketh upon me_." as an earthly parent separates no part of the well-being of his child from his watchful care, so doth our heavenly father not only "_forgive all our iniquities_," but "_healeth all our diseases." let us not confine faith operation to the saving of the soul, while god's word is full of previous promise for the saving, keeping, and healing of the body_. "_for i will restore health unto thee, and i will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the lord_." a mother's faith--the life of beate paulus. in a sketch of the life of beate paulus, the wife of a german minister who lived on the borders of the black forest, are several incidents which illustrate the power of living faith, and the providence of a prayer-hearing god. though destitute of wealth, she much desired to educate her children, and five of her six boys were placed in school, while she struggled, and prayed, and toiled,--not only in the house, but out of doors,--to provide for their necessities. "on one occasion," writes one of her children, "shortly before harvest, the fields stood thick with corn, and our mother had already calculated that their produce would suffice to meet all claims for the year. she was standing at the window casting the matter over in her mind, with great satisfaction, when her attention was suddenly caught by some heavy, black clouds with white borders, drifting at a great rate across the summer sky. 'it is a hail-storm!' she exclaimed in dismay, and quickly throwing up the window, she leaned out. her eyes rested upon a frightful mass of wild storm-clouds, covering the western horizon, and approaching with rapid fury. "'o god!' she cried, 'there comes an awful tempest, and what _is_ to become of my corn?' the black masses rolled nearer and nearer, while the ominous rushing movement that precedes a storm, began to rock the sultry air, and the dreaded hail-stones fell with violence. half beside herself with anxiety about those fields lying at the eastern end of the valley, she now lifted her hands heavenward, and wringing them in terror, cried: 'dear father in heaven, what art thou doing? thou knowest i cannot manage to pay for my boys at school, without the produce of those fields! oh! turn thy hand, and do not let the hail blast my hopes!' scarcely, however, had these words crossed her lips when she started, for it seemed to her as if a voice had whispered in her ear,' is my arm shortened that it cannot help thee in other ways?' abashed, she shrank into a quiet corner, and there entreated god to forgive her want of faith. in the meantime the storm passed. and now various neighbors hurried in, proclaiming that the whole valley lay thickly covered with hail-stones, _down to the very edge of the parsonage fields, but the latter_ had been quite spared. the storm had reached their border, and then suddenly taking another direction into the next valley. moreover, that the whole village was in amazement, declaring that god had wrought a miracle for the sake of our mother, whom he loved. she listened, silently adoring the goodness of the lord, and vowing that henceforth her confidence should be only in him." at another time she found herself unable to pay the expenses of the children's schooling, and the repeated demands for money were rendered more grievous by the reproaches of her husband, who charged her with attempting impossibilities, and told her that her self-will would involve them in disgrace. she, however, professed her unwavering confidence that the lord would soon interpose for their relief, while his answer was: "we shall see; time will show." in the midst of these trying circumstances, as her husband was one day sitting in his study, absorbed in meditation, the postman brought three letters from different towns where the boys were at school, each declaring that unless the dues were promptly settled, the lads would be dismissed. the father read the letters with growing excitement, and spreading them out upon the table before his wife as she entered the room, exclaimed: "there, look at them, and pay our debt with your faith! i have no money, nor can i tell where to go for any." "seizing the papers, she rapidly glanced through them, with a very grave face, but then answered firmly, 'it is all right; the business shall be settled. for he who says, "the gold and silver is mine," will find it an easy thing to provide these sums.' saying which she hastily left the room. "our father readily supposed she intended making her way to a certain rich friend who had helped us before. he was mistaken, for this time her steps turned in a different direction. we had in the parsonage an upper loft, shut off by a trap-door from the lower one, and over this door it was that she now knelt down, and began to deal with him in whose strength she had undertaken the work of her children's education. she spread before him those letters from the study table, and told him of her husband's half scoffing taunt. she also reminded him how her life had been redeemed from the very gates of death, for the children's sake, and then declared that she could not believe that he meant to forsake her at this juncture; she was willing to be the _second_ whom he might forsake, but she was determined not to be the _first_. "in the meanwhile, her husband waited down stairs, and night came on; but she did not appear. supper was ready, and yet she stayed in the loft. then the eldest girl, her namesake beate, ran up to call her; but the answer was, 'take your supper without me, it is not time for me to eat.' late in the evening, the little messenger was again dispatched, but returned with the reply: 'go to bed; the time has not come for me to rest.' a third time, at breakfast next morning, the girl called her mother. 'leave me alone,' she said; 'i do not need breakfast; when i am ready i shall come.' thus the hours sped on, and down stairs her husband and the children began to feel frightened, not daring, however, to disturb her any more. at last the door opened, and she entered, her face beaming with a wonderful light. the little daughter thought that something extraordinary must have happened; and running to her mother with open arms, asked eagerly: 'what is it? did an angel from heaven bring the money?' 'no, my child,' was the smiling answer, 'but now i am sure that it will come.' she had hardly spoken, when a maid in peasant costume entered, saying: 'the master of the linden inn sends to ask whether the frau pastorin can spare time to see him?' 'ah, i know what he wants,' answered our mother. 'my best regards, and i will come at once.' whereupon she started, and mine host, looking out of his window, saw her from afar, and came forward to welcome her with the words: 'o madame, how glad i am you have come!' then leading her into his back parlor he said; 'i cannot tell how it is, but the whole of this last night i could not sleep for thinking of you. for some time i have had several hundred _gulden_ lying in that chest, and all night long i was haunted by the thought that you needed this money, and that i ought to give it to you. if that be the case, there it is--take it; and do not trouble about repaying me. should you be able to make it up again, well and good--if not, never mind.' on this my mother said: 'yes, i do most certainly need it, my kind friend; for all last night i too was awake, crying to god for help. yesterday there came three letters, telling us that all our boys would he dismissed unless the money for their board is cleared at once.' "'is it really so?' exclaimed the innkeeper, who was a noble-hearted and spiritual christian man. 'how strange and wonderful! now i am doubly glad i asked you to come!' then opening the chest, he produced three weighty packets, and handed them to her with a prayer that god's blessing might rest upon the gift. she accepted it with the simple words: 'may god make good to you this service of christian sympathy; for you have acted as the steward of one who has promised not even to leave the giving of a cup of cold water unrewarded.' "husband and children were eagerly awaiting her at home, and those three dismal letters still lay open on the table, when the mother, who had quitted that study in such deep emotion the day before, stepped up to her husband, radiant with joy. on each letter, she laid a roll of money and then cried: 'look, there it is! and now believe that faith in god is no empty madness!'" the persecutor's fate. dr. eugenio kincaid, the burman missionary, states, that among the first converts in ava were two men who had held respectable offices about the palace. some time after they had been baptized, a neighbor determined to report them to government, and drew up a paper setting forth that these two men had forsaken the customs and religion of their fathers, were worshiping the foreigner's god, and went every sunday to the teacher's house; with other similar charges. he presented the paper to the neighbors of the two disciples, taking their names as witnesses, and saving that he should go and present the accusation on the next day. the two christians heard of it, and went to mr. kincaid in great alarm, to consult as to what they should do. they said if they were accused to government, the mildest sentence they could expect would be imprisonment for life at hard labor, and perhaps they would be killed. kincaid told them that they could not flee from ava, if they would; that he saw nothing he could do for them, and all that they could do was to trust in god to protect them, and deliver them from the power of their enemies. they also prayed, and soon left kincaid, saying that they felt more calm, and could leave the matter with god. that night the persecutor was attacked by a dreadful disease in the bowels, which so distressed him that he roared like a madman; and his friends, which is too often the case with the heathen, left him to suffer and die alone. the two christians whom he would have ruined then went and took care of him till he died, two or three days after his attack. the whole affair was well known in the neighborhood, and from that time not a dog dared move his tongue against the christians of ava. is there no evidence in this of a special providence, and that god listens to the prayers of persecuted and distressed children? the captain and the quadrant. a godly man, the master of an american ship, during one voyage found his ship bemisted for days, and he became rather anxious respecting her safety. he went down to his cabin and prayed. the thought struck him, if he had with confidence committed his soul to god, he might certainly commit his ship to him; and so, accordingly, he gave all into the hands of god, and felt at perfect peace; but still he prayed, that if he would be pleased to give a cloudless sky at twelve o'clock, he should like to take an observation to ascertain their real position, and whether they were on the right course. he came on deck at eleven o'clock, with the quadrant under his coat. as it was thick drizzling, the men looked at him with amazement. he went to his cabin, prayed, and came up. there seemed still to be no hope. again he went down and prayed, and again he appeared on deck with his quadrant in his hand. it was now ten minutes to twelve o'clock, and still there was no appearance of a change; but he stood on the deck, waiting upon the lord, when, in a few minutes, the mist seemed to be folded up and rolled away as by an omnipotent and invisible hand; the sun shown clearly from the blue vault of heaven, and there stood the man of prayer with the quadrant in his hand, but so awe-struck did he feel, and so "dreadful" was that place, that he could scarcely take advantage of the answer to his prayer. he, however, succeeded, although with trembling hands, and found, to his comfort, that all was well. but no sooner had he finished taking the observation than the mist rolled back over the heavens, and it began to drizzle as before. this story of prayer was received from the lips of the good captain crossby, who was so useful in the ardrossan awakening; and he himself was the man who prayed and waited upon his god with the quadrant in his hand. the faith of dorothea trudel. the life of dorothea trudel has afforded some remarkable instances of answer to prayer; during the years to , at the swiss village of männedorf, near the lake of zurich, and that of molltingen, were seen and witnessed, cases of cure in response to unyielding faith in the promises of the lord. dorothea trudel was a worker in flowers, and in time came to have many workers under her, and when she was about thirty-seven years of age, four or five of her workers fell sick. the sickness resisted all treatment, grew worse, appeared to be hopeless. she was a deep, earnest christian, and while diligent and unselfish as a nun, yet her anxiety for her work people drew her to earnest prayer and study of the scriptures for relief. like a sudden light, she says, the well known prayer of the epistle of james, : , , flashed upon her. "if medical skill was unavailing, was there not prayer? and could not the same lord who chose to heal through medicines, also heal without them? was he necessarily restricted to the one means? there was a time when his healing power went forth directly; might it not be put forth directly still?" agitated by these questions, she sought help in prayer, and then kneeling by the bedside of these sick people, she prayed for them. they recovered; and the thought that at first had startled her, became now the settled conviction of her life. her reputation spread; others who were sick, came to her for relief, but she sought only the recovery of the patients by prayer alone. many recovered. her doors were besieged, and at last she consented to receive invalids at her home, from compassion. by degrees her own house grew into three, and at last it became in fact a hospital. she lived a life of humility, and perfect simplicity, yet strength of faith, and at her death her work was, and still is, carried on by mr. zeller, who also has had marvelous successes in answer to prayer. remarkable cures. there have been gathered together in her biography, well authenticated cases of answer to prayer, when the patient was considered wholly incapable of help from medical skill. "there was one of a stiff knee, that had been, treated in vain by the best physicians in france, germany and switzerland; one of an elderly man who could not walk, and had been given up by his physicians, but who soon dispensed with his crutches; a man came with a burned foot, and the surgeons said it was a case of '_either amputation or death_' and he also was cured; one of the leading physicians of wurtemburg, testifies to the cure of a hopeless patient of his own; another remained six weeks, and says he saw all kinds of sicknesses healed; cancers and fevers have been treated with success; epilepsy and insanity more frequently than any other form of disease. "neither is the life and experience of dorothea trudel an exceptional one. pastor blumenhart of wurtemberg, has had his home crowded for years with patients, and cures occur constantly. "the mother of dorothea trudel was an eminently pious woman, and it was her custom, when any of her children were ill, to bring them in prayer before the feet of the heavenly physician, as dorothea herself says: 'our mother had no cure except prayer, and though at that time we did not understand, yet since then we have found it out, that it was the healing hand of the saviour alone, that helped and restored us.'" cured of the small-pox. "even when i had the small-pox, and became blind, no doctor was sent for, and no one was told of it. our father was not at home (he, father, most unfortunately, was not a religious person); and when our mother asked him to come, telling him how ill i was, he would not believe it, and preferred to remain with his friends. our mother, however, was not in the least vexed or excited; she prayed for him, for all of us, especially for her sick child, and before my father came home, my eyes were re-opened." cured of severe fits. "once again, one of my brothers had a fit brought on through fright. it was a most violent and painful attack, and we were greatly alarmed. this time, also, our father was out; and our mother said to us, i know this fearful illness, my children; it is one of the heaviest trials which could have, occurred, but jesus, who cured that lunatic boy, can heal our child. do not speak of the attack to any one; we will go only to jesus about it; and then she prayed with us. "not long after, a second fit came on, and again our father was taking his pleasure at the public house. this time mother told him what had happened in his absence; but he laughed at it, and said, 'i don't believe it; you were frightened at the child having bad dreams.' "his wife replied, 'for the sake of your unbelief, i hope that the child will have another attack whilst you are at home, so that you may witness it yourself, then you will believe; i pray god, however, that this may be the last time.' "it came to pass about a week after, that another most dreadful fit came on; the boy foamed violently, and threw himself about in fearful convulsions; on this occasion the father was present, and he was convinced of the nature of the attack, and alarmed at what he saw. _but the mother's prayer was heard, for the disease never showed itself again for thirty-four years, while both parents lived_." buying a cow. "our father going away abroad, he sold one of our two cows, and took the proceeds with him. (he, the father, was a reckless spendthrift, idle, and fond of the public inn.) a rich neighbor directly offered to loan us money enough to buy another; this kind proposal we gratefully accepted. although we did not understand much about bargains of this kind, yet the cow we purchased served us so remarkably, that we were obliged to acknowledge whence the blessing came. in summer we could sell fourteen measures of milk; in winter, twelve to the dairyman, so that the borrowed money was speedily paid. "at the same time the cow performed the farm work required of it, with such strength and quickness, we were astonished. when our father, on his return, heard us speaking with pleasure of this animal, he became so enraged with the poor thing, that he was determined to sell it, and actually _offered it at half its value_. "the faithless children were in a continual fright. when any one came near the house, we thought that we were assuredly going to lose our cow. but mother exhorted us not to be so fearful; for, said she, 'if your father could do always as he likes, none of you would be alive now; but god will never let him go any farther than he sees to be for our good. believe me, god, who has given us this cow, will keep it for us as long as we need it.' "and so it turned out, for the cow never left us whilst our mother was alive; and when we were all provided for, a purchaser came, who paid a high price for the creature, having heard of its wonderful powers from the man to whom we sold the milk for so many years; but no sooner was the animal taken to its new home, than the wonder ceased, and _this cow became no better than any other_." a lady cured, who had been rejected from an asylum. "madam m----, the mother of twelve children, had been quite shattered in mind by the death of her husband, and had been actually sent away uncured from an asylum. she came to dorothea's home, was blessed in remembrance in her prayers, _and after seven weeks went away perfectly cured_. she acknowledged the lord was indeed her helper, and she has remained well to this day." the soul cured as well as the body. on many occasions she experienced wonderful help from god, who, while performing marvels for the body, which is the least important part, accomplishes what is far greater, even the salvation of souls. "among others, one named b. t----, went to her, who had been suffering for six months from a disease of his bones, and had been for a lengthened period in a swiss hospital, under medical treatment. at length he, by the advice of christian friends, sought for relief from his malady at dorothea's house. his care began in the first week of his visit, and in a few weeks he was completely recovered." on one occasion a young artisan came, in whom cancer had made such progress as to render any approach to him almost unbearable. "at the bible lessons, this once frivolous man, now an earnest inquirer, learned where the improvement must begin; and from the day that he confessed his sins against god and man, the disease abated. some time afterwards he acknowledged one sin he had hitherto concealed, and then he speedily recovered his bodily health, and returned to his home cured in spirit also." "a lady in s---- had so injured her knee by a fall, that for weeks she lay in the greatest agony. the doctors declared that dropsy would supervene; but the heavenly physician fulfilled those promises which will abide until the end of the world; and by prayer, and the laying on of dorothea's hand, the knee was cured in twenty-four hours, and the swelling vanished." prayer, not mesmerism. "several people have maintained that her work was one of mesmerism; and when once she was asked to visit an out patient, she earnestly implored the lord _not_ to heal this invalid through her means if she employed mesmerism; but if not, to permit recovery. the woman was cured in a short time, though dorothea had never entered her house, and had, therefore, no opportunity of placing herself in a mesmeric relation to this patient." help in pecuniary affairs. "in pecuniary affairs, also, the lord was their helper. many times something had to be paid, and they had no means wherewith to meet the claims. once, god actually sent aid by means of an enemy, who offered money; another time, _three thousand francs_ came from holland, just as they were needed, and also unexpected on a third occasion they were about to borrow money to pay for bread, when two hundred and fifty francs arrived." the faith life of mr. zeller. after the death of dorothea trudel, the work at männedorf, instituted by her, has been furthered and carried on by mr. samuel zeller, who had been her associate. he has published two reports, which contain many instances of answers to prayer, showing that the lord still gave blessed results, and rewarded their faithful trust. "no disease is found to be more obstinate than epilepsy, yet several instances are recorded of patients being restored to perfect health. persons afflicted with mental disorder and convulsions are frequently brought to männedorf, and many return cured or benefited. "on one occasion, a lady who had been afflicted with constant headache for five years, found her disorder removed speedily under the influence of prayer. in other cases the passion for strong drink was taken away; fever more or less disappeared; and the subjects of various kinds of chronic diseases, even some apparently far gone in consumption, have found their strength return to them under the same influence. "unhappy victims of spiritualist delusions have found deliverance at the mercy-seat; and there, too, many in the bondage of sin have rejoiced in a present saviour. "one patient afflicted with convulsions, who came several years successively without being cured, at last confessed that she possessed a book of 'charms' in which she put some degree of, faith, and she had recommended them to others. she was led to see the folly and sin of such things, and soon after the book was burned she was restored to health." many cases have occurred where the suffering patient was utterly unable to come to männedorf, but prayer has been offered there in their behalf, and the answers have been as frequent as with the cases which have come under the same roof. "a brother living at r---- was seized with a violent fever, and appeared to be at death's door. intelligence having been sent to männedorf, united prayer was made in his behalf; and very soon afterwards a telegraphic message announced that he was recovering. on this occasion the promise was remembered with joy,' before they call i will answer.'" "perhaps one of the most striking cases of blessing recorded is that of a lady, who was subject to fits of insanity so violent that they threatened her life, and who was so far conscious of her miserable condition, that happening to go into a meeting where she heard god's word, she requested to be prayed for. a friend wrote to männedorf, describing the case, and asking prayer on her behalf; and only a fortnight later, the same friend communicated the happy news of her recovery. after a fit of unusual severity, she fell into a deep sleep, from which she awoke in her right mind; more than that, she learned to believe in the _lord jesus_, and rejoiced in his love." "a patient in this institution, who arrived unconverted, and was thought to be in a dying state, heard the good news of salvation, and was enabled to rejoice in the lord, through simple trust in him; and from that moment she began to rapidly recover from her disorder, and soon became strong enough to nurse another patient." another remarkable case was that of a young girl who, in consequence of the breaking off of a marriage engagement, manifested decided symptoms of insanity. she not only recovered from her malady, but found the saviour. the blind restored to sight. prayer was asked for a young lady who was wholly blind. a letter received soon after brought this joyful news: "in answer to your prayer for our niece, i must thankfully tell you, her eyes are so much better that the doctor this morning told her to thank god for having saved her from the most dangerous kind of cataract. "while examining her eyes, the doctor, who is a jew, took up a book lying near, and opening it told her to try and read, which she was able to do with ease. it was a hymn book, and the first words on which her eyes fell were these: 'christ jesus, glorious king of light, great conqueror, david's heir, come now and give my blind eyes sight, o saviour, hear my prayer!' "'that will do,' said the doctor, 'you are much better.' "i for my part hastened to my chamber, and shutting the door fell on my knees with a cry of joyful praise." threats were made by many of the villagers that they would burn up the house for this institution, saying all manner of unreasonable things. "you can not prevent this by prayer," said one writer, "we have taken an oath to do it." mr. zeller remained quiet, taking no notice of these threats, but quietly trusted in the lord. though other anonymous letters came frequently, yet the threats were never carried out. it will he seen from this that, blessed as was the work of faith, still the spirit of persecution was permitted by the lord only to make his own children rely more confidently on him, and that he might fulfill more positively his promise, "_no evil shall befall thee, no harm come nigh thy dwelling_." the bank of faith. god the guardian of the poor. perhaps the providence of god in supplying the wants of the poor never was more closely watched and better described than has been done by the late william huntington, formerly a minister in london, england, who, in a book with the quaint title of the "bank of faith," tells how, in his course of life, day by day the lord guarded him, helped him, and provided for every need, even the most trifling. it is a precious record of faith and full of true encouragement. he answers as follows this question: "_should we fray for temporal blessings?_" "some have affirmed that we have no warrant to pray for temporal blessings, but, blessed be god, he has given us '_the promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come_.' yea, the promise of all things pertaining to life and godliness, and whatever god has promised we may warrantably pray for. "those that came to our saviour in the days of his flesh, prayed chiefly for temporal mercies. the blind prayed for sight, the lepers for a cure, the lame far the use of their limbs, and the deaf for the use of their ears, and surely had they prayed unwarrantably, their prayers would not have been so miraculously answered. "elijah prayed for a temporal mercy when he prayed for rain, and it is clear that god answered him. elisha works a miracle to produce a temporal mercy when he healed the barren plains of jericho." is my reader a poor christian? take it patiently. god maketh the poor as well as the rich. envy not the rich. riches are often seen to be a canker-worm at the root of a good man's comfort, a snare in his life, an iron pillar at the back of his pride. a gar prayed to be fed with food convenient for him, and you may pray for the same, and what god gives you in answer to your prayer you will be thankful for. that state is surely best which keeps you dependent on god and thankful to him, and so you shall find it to the end. _go on, poor christian, trusting in the providence of god_. the life of his child saved. "my eldest daughter now living fell sick at about five or six months old, and was wasted to a skeleton. she had a doctor to attend her, but she got worse and worse. it seemed as if god intended to bereave us of her, for he brought her even to death's door. "my wife and i have sat up with her night after night, watching the cradle, expecting every breath to be her last, for two or three weeks together. at last i asked the doctor if he thought there was any hope of her life. he answered, no, he would not flatter me. _she would surely die_. "this distressed me beyond measure, and as he told me to do no more for her, i left my room, went to my garden in the evening, and, in my little tool house, wrestled hard with god in prayer for the life of the child. "i went home satisfied that god had heard me; _and in three days the child was as well as she is now_, and ate as heartily. this effectually convinced me that all things were possible with god." god sent supplies. "when i had been three weeks out of employment, i found a new place, and after pawning all my best clothes to pay expenses, when the cart set us down at the new home on monday morning, i had the total sum of _ten pence half-penny left,_ to provide for myself, my wife and child, till the ensuing saturday night. "though i was thus poor, yet i knew god had made me rich in faith. we went on our knees beseeching the almighty to send relief, as he in his wisdom thought proper. "the next evening my landlord's daughter, and son-in-law, came up to see their mother, and brought some baked meat, which they had just taken out of their oven, and brought for me and my wife to sup along with them. "these poor people knew nothing of us, nor of our god. the next day in the evening they did the same, and kept sending victuals and garden stuff to us all the week long." the god who supplied elijah by a raven supplied me with fish. one of the most beautiful instances ever known, which almost identically repeats the bible over again, especially in the instance of elijah as he was fed in an unseen way by the hand of god, is given in the life of mr. huntington. he was wholly unable to provide for his family, and could depend only on god. "as i went over a bridge, i cast my eye on the right-hand side, and there lay a _very large eel_ on the mud by the river side, apparently dead. i caught hold of it and soon found it was only asleep. with difficulty i got it safe out of the mud upon the grass, and then carried it home. my little one was very fond of it, and it richly supplied all her wants that day. but at night i was informed the eel was all gone, so the next day afforded me the same distress and trouble as the preceding day had done. "the next morning, as i entered the garden gate, i saw a _partridge_ lie dead on the walk. i took it up and found it warm; so i carried it home, and it richly supplied the table of our little one that day. "again the next day still found me unprovided, and brought forth fresh work for faith and prayer. however, the morrow took thought for the things of itself, for when i came to take the scythe in my hand to mow the short grass, i looked into the pond, and there i saw three very large carp lying on the water apparently sick. when the master came i told him of it. he went and looked and said they were dead, and told me i might have them if i would, for they were not in season. however, they came in due season to me. _and i found, morning after morning, there lay two or three of these fish at a time, dead, just as i wanted them, till i believe there was not one live fish remaining, six inches long, in the pond, which was near three hundred feet in length._ "i could not help weeping, admiring the goodness of god. as i studied the bible, i clearly perceived that the most eminent saints of the bible were brought into _low_ circumstances, as jacob, david, moses, joseph, job and jeremiah, and all the apostles, in order that the hand of providence might be watched." god takes away the snow. "in the winter the lord sent a very deep snow, which lay a considerable time on the ground. we were brought into great straits, as our wheat was now of no use to us, and we could obtain no wood, the landlady saying that as the snow was likely to last some time, she must keep what little she had left, and could sell us no more. "there was before us the fear of great suffering with the cold. i begged of god that he might _that night take away the snow_, and send us something to burn, that our little one might not perish with the cold, _and the next morning the snow was all gone_." sight restored. "a violent humor came into my eyes, and for some months i was in danger of losing my sight. both myself and my second daughter had it more or less for several years. "in answer to prayer, god healed her eyes and mine too, so that our sight was perfectly recovered." praying for tea. "as the life of faith consists in bearing the cross of christ, we must not expect to be long without trials. providence soon frowned on me again, and i got behindhand, as usual. "this happened at a time when my wife was about delivery of child, and we were destitute of those necessaries of life which are needful at such times. the nurse came: we told her there was no tea in the house. my wife replied, '_set the kettle on, even if there is not_.' "the nurse said, '_you have no tea, nor can you get any_.' my wife replied, '_set on the kettle_.' she did so, and before it boiled, a woman (with whom at that time we had no acquaintance) came to the door, and told the nurse that she had brought some tea as a present for my wife." the lord paid his debt. "it was the time of my returning from the north country. i observed that there were some small debts to be discharged. but the hand of god was fast closed; this continued for some time: and for all that time, i watched and observed narrowly. "at this time there was a special debt due of twenty pounds. this sum hung long. i looked different ways, and chalked out different roads for the almighty to walk in; but his paths were in the deep waters, and his footsteps were not known; no raven came, neither in the morning, nor in the evening. "there was a gentlewoman at my house on a visit, and i asked her if she had got the sum of twenty pounds in her pocket, telling her at the same time how much i wanted it. she told me she had not; if she had, i should have it. a few hours after, the same woman was coming into my study, but she found it locked, and knocked at the door; i let her in, and she said, 'i am sorry i disturbed you.' i replied, 'you do not disturb me; i have been begging a favor of god, and i had just done when you knocked; and that favor i have now got in faith, and shall shortly have in hand, and you will see it.'" "the afternoon of the same day, two gentlemen out of the city came to see me; and after a few hours of conversation, they left me, and to my great surprise, each of them at parting put a letter into my hand, which, when they were gone, _i opened, and found a ten pound note in each_. i immediately sent for the woman up-stairs, and let her read the letters, and then sent the money to pay the debt." it is impossible to give in this page any large portion of the life of mr. huntington, who was rich in faith, and upon whom god showered abundant answers to prayer. but, like all of us, he, too, suffered extremely in all the necessities of life, yet ever looked to god above for help. of his experience, he says in his own words, after having for years thoroughly tested the promises and faithfulness of god: "_a succession of crosses was always followed with perpetual blessings, for as sure as adversity led the van, so sure prosperity brought up the rear_. "_never, no never, did the holy spirit withhold his prevalent intercession from, me in times of trouble, nor did my god ever turn a deaf ear to my prayer, or fail to deliver me_." "_many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the lord delivereth him out of them all_." * * * * * the faith of little children. how god honors their trust, and answers their prayers. god keeps hold of the other hand. a little boy with his mother was returning from a visit; the night was very dark, and little could be seen ahead. she led her little boy, by the hand, who trustingly walked by her side. he had only just begun to learn and remember the stories of the bible, and he believed and trusted everything he heard. after walking for sometime in the darkness, very silently, he burst out with, "mamma, i'm not afraid." "why, what makes you feel so." "_because, mamma, god keeps hold of the other hand_." this is the beautiful lesson older ones, too, must learn, the simple, childlike confidence in god, which gives no fear, no alarm. the skeptic can never accuse little children of the same theories, philosophies, imaginations and beliefs which are characteristic of older heads. the child knows nothing of such books of reason, science or religion. many a child who could not read has asked of god and his prayer has been answered; and when the whole world witnesses a little child, who in its innocence has been told that god lives, that god loves him, that god can do everything and will surely hear his prayer, and then in its care and grief, kneels before the god it trusts, offers its little prayer, _and the prayer is answered_, let none of maturer minds ever presume to doubt. the faith of little children is typical of the very simplest faith wherewith any human being must approach its creator. the child never questions, never doubts; but in its simplicity asks, and god honors the trust. the following incident illustrates the point, _that not one thing is ere too small for god to consider, or a soul to bring to him in prayer_. a child whose life was saved in answer to prayer--by his own prayer the life of his sister is saved. one of the most beautiful incidents ever known relating to the faith of children, and the reward of their trust, is contained in the following circumstance, personally known to the editor of this book, who was a participant in the facts. the only child of a young married couple, living in this city, their pride, their hope and joy, and the darling of the whole family, was seized with severe sickness, grew rapidly worse. the grandfather, who was a skilled physician, was constantly present, ministering in every way, by every means, but nothing was of any avail. no medicine could cure, and the child seemed ready to die. no one could think of relief or knew where to find it. the grandfather, at last, proposed to lay the case before god, and ask the prayers of his people in the child's behalf. the mother was only too glad to ask other prayers with her own, to bring relief. the father, who had hitherto never seriously thought of religion, was in intense anxiety and despair. here was his first, his only child about to be taken away from him, and then came the thought, is it possible his family life was not to be blessed; his child was in distress, no human effort was available. at last, he too joined in the prayer of his wife and father, and bowing before the great unknown, unseen god, he poured out his heart in prayer, saying, "_lord, if thou wilt spare my child, wilt give him life, and thus show to me thy power and will to save, i will never doubt again, and will give thee my heart"_ a request for prayer was written and sent to the pastor, dr. william adams, of the madison square church. it arrived after church service had begun; the sexton was unwilling to carry it to the pulpit, as it was against the rule, but when told he _must, as a life was in great danger_, he consented, and delivered it to the pastor. the messenger waited breathlessly, and when in silence the doctor specifically mentioned the case before him, and asked the lord to heal and spare the little one, and comfort the hearts of all, and make it a witness of his love and power, the messenger accidentally looked at the clock, and it marked just _quarter to eleven_, a.m. when prayer was finished he returned home. arriving at home, he was astonished to find the child better, its whole condition had changed, the medicine had taken hold, and the doctor now said everything was so hopeful the child would surely recover, and it did. but mark the unparalleled singularity of the scene. the father asked the messenger the _time_ when the prayer was offered. he replied, "at a _quarter to eleven."_ the father in astonishment said, "_at that very moment_ the disease changed, and the doctor said he was better." the father, who had thus been proving the lord with this test of prayer and its identity of time in his answer, was so overwhelmingly convinced of the real power of prayer, and thereby of the real existence of god, and that a christian life was one of facts as well as beliefs, now finding that the lord had indeed kept his own promise, he, too, kept his promise and gave his heart to the lord, and became henceforth, a professing christian. but there were more wonderful things yet to happen--a period of five years passed. other children were added to the family, and one day, the youngest, a sweet, beautiful girl, was taken suddenly ill with convulsions. the sickness for days tasked the strength of the mother, and the skill of the doctor, but no care, ingenuity, or knowledge could overcome the disease or subdue the pain. the little girl's fits were severe and distressing, and there were but short intervals between, just time to come out of one and with a gasp, pass into another still more terrible. in its occasional moments of reason, it would look piteously as if mutely appealing, and then the next convulsion would take it and seem to leave it just at death's door. all attendants were worn with care, the doctor fairly lived in the house and forsook all his other business. the clergyman came and comforted the anxious hearts with words of sympathy and prayer; but her _little brother merrill_, (whose own life we have just related,) tender-hearted, a mere child, scarce seven years of age, who had known of the lord, and who believed that he was everywhere and could do everything, was intensely grieved at "mamie's" distress, and came at last to his mother and asked if he could go and "_make a prayer to god for sissy_." the mother said, "go." the little boy went back into his room, and kneeling humbly by the side of his bed, as he did at his night and morning prayers, uttered this request: _"o god, please to bless little sister, she is very sick. please stop her fits so she won't have any more. for jesus' sake, amen."_ he came back, told his mamma what he said, and added: "_mamma, i don't think she will have any more_." now mark how the lord honored this simple faith of the little child. _from that very moment the fits left her. they never returned; and the child soon entirely recovered_. notice the full beauty and instruction of these two incidents: _little merrill's life was saved in answer to prayer; was the means of his father's salvation, and when he in turn had grown to an age when he could learn of god, his own prayer was the means of saving his own sister's life_. notice, too, that all earthly available means were used to save each child, but to no effect. physicians and parents considered the case hopeless, and then committed it to the decision of god. notice, too, that when little merrill was so sick, that the mother and doctor both prayed, yet it was not until his father had also prayed that the answer came. god meant to honor the faith of the first two, but was _waiting for the prayer of the third_ ere he granted the request. that child's sickness was one of the purposes of god. notice in the second case, that while father, mother, doctor, the clergyman, and others of the house were all trusting in prayer, yet the lord _was waiting for the prayer of the little brother_, ere he sent the blessing of relief. such an incident draws its own conclusion. _never cease in prayer for anything which is to god's honor and glory. use all the possible means to help god. where human means are of no avail, commit it to god and wait in humble resignation. ask others to pray, too, for the same object_, that when the answer comes, god may be glorified before the sight of others as well as your own. when so many are waiting to see if _god_ will honor his promises, depend upon it, _god will be found faithful to all his word_. trusting in god's promises. "it was a fierce, wild night in march, and the blustering wind was blowing, accompanied by the sharp, sleety snow. it was very desolate without, but still more desolate within the home i am going to describe to you. the room was large and almost bare, and the wind whistled through the cracks in the most dismal manner. in one corner of the room stood an old-fashioned bedstead upon which a woman lay, her emaciated form showing her to be in the last stage of consumption. a low fire burned in the large fire-place, and before it a little girl was kneeling. she had a small testament, and was trying by the dim fire-light to read a chapter, as was her custom, before going to bed. a faint voice called to her from the bed, 'nellie, my daughter, read the th chapter of st. john for your mother.' 'yes, mother,' was the reply, and after turning the leaves a few moments, the child began. all that long winter day that poor mother had been tortured with pain and remorse. she was poor, very poor, and she knew she must die and leave her child to the mercies of the world. her husband had died several years before. since then she had struggled on, as best she could, till now she had almost grown to doubt god's promises to the helpless. 'in my father's house are many mansions.' 'i go to prepare a place for you.' here the little reader paused, and crept to her mother's side. she lay motionless, with closed eyes, while great hot tears were stealing down her wasted cheeks. 'mother, he has a place almost ready for you, hasn't he.' 'yes, my child, and i am going very soon, but _he_ will watch over you, nellie, when mother has gone to her last home.' "the weeks went slowly by to the suffering invalid; but when the violets were blooming, they made a grave upon the hillside, and laid the weary body down to rest, but the spirit had gone to the home which christ himself had gone to prepare. "years passed away. it was sunny may. the little church of grenville was crowded. i noticed in one of the seats a lady plainly but neatly attired. there was nothing remarkable in the face with its mournful brown eyes, and decided looking mouth and chin. i ransacked my memory to find who the lady was. suddenly a vision of the poor widow came. this, then, was the little girl, little nellie mason. 'we will read a part of the th chapter of st. john,' the minister said. 'in my father's house are many mansions; i go to prepare a place for you.' the slow, deliberate tones recalled me from my reverie, and i looked at nellie. her head was bowed, but i could see the tears flowing like rain." the faith of a little child. an incident most beautiful was told in the fulton street prayer meeting by a converted jew. "journeying in the cars, i was attracted by two little girls, jewesses. i asked them if they loved jesus. to my surprise, they said they did. i found that their mother was in a seat near by. she had attended some of the gospel meetings for jews, and was interested in them. she said her husband had not been to church or synagogue for eleven years, and she did not know his views on religion. her two little girls had attended a methodist sunday school, and there learned of jesus. a day or so after, the mother was taken very sick, and remedies failing, the eldest child, a little over eight years old, said: 'o mamma, if you will let me pray to jesus for you, he can take away your pains and give you sleep.' she knelt with her sister and prayed in simple words to jesus to heal her mother, telling him that he had so promised to hear prayer. shortly after, the mother, after long hours of restlessness and suffering, fell into a deep sleep and awoke relieved of pain and much refreshed. she heard from her daughter's lips the story of her faith in jesus and love for him, and then sent for me, begging me to pray for her. i am glad to tell you that she is now a converted woman, a believer in the lord jesus christ." the wanderer found. a mother sent a request for prayer to the fulton street prayer-meeting, that she might hear from him who had long ago left home, and wandered far away. she had been praying very earnestly for him, and soon she wrote that she had just heard from him, and heard too that he had become a christian and learned to trust in him. are you there. a mother, one morning, gave her two little ones books and toys to amuse them while she went up-stairs to attend to something. a half hour passed quietly away, and then one of the little ones went to the foot of the stairs, and in a timid voice called out, "mamma, are you there?" "yes, darling." "all right," said the little one, and-went on with her play. by-and-by the question was repeated, "mamma, are you there?" "yes, darling." "all right," said the child again, and once more went on with her play. and this is just the way we should feel towards jesus. he has gone up-stairs, to the right hand of god, to attend to some things for us. he has left us down in this lower room of this world to be occupied here for a while. but to keep us from being worried by fear or care, he speaks to us from his word, as that mother spoke to her little ones. he says to us, "fear not; i am with thee. i will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." "the lord will provide." and so we see how certain it is that god does provide relief in trouble for those who love and serve him. god knows the bottom of the barrel. "mother, i think god always hears when we scrape the bottom of the barrel," said a little boy to his mother one day. his mother was poor. they often used up their last stick of wood and their last bit of bread before they could tell where the next supply was to come from. but they had so often been provided for in unexpected ways, just when they were most in need, that the little boy thought _god always heard when they scraped the bottom of the barrel_. this was only that little fellow's way of saying what abraham said when he called the name of the place where god had delivered him, "jehovah-jireh." god's care for little children in little wants. "i was early taught that god cares for his children, even to regard their _little_ daily wants. an illustration of my implicit confidence, which i do not remember ever to have been betrayed, occurred when i was about ten years of age. i was accustomed to give five cents each sabbath at the sunday school collection for foreign missions. this money was not given me directly by my parents; but i was allowed to go on an errand, or to do some little piece of work for a neighbor and thus earn it, outside of the performance of the duties that naturally fell to my lot at home. at one time, when i was attending school about a mile from home, my time out of school was taken up by my walk to and from it and the chores which necessarily fall to a farmer's boy, so that for some months i had no opportunity of earning anything. one sabbath morning, i dropped my last silver piece into the collection, with a prayer--which i always offered at such a time--that god would bless it to the heathen, that some one might be led to him by it. "i went home that day with a child's anxiety, feeling that i could not bear the thought of giving nothing for the heathen on next sabbath, and yet not seeing how i could possibly obtain it. that night i asked my heavenly father to provide the money for me. the anxiety was all gone; for i felt that god would answer. next morning, when almost at the school-house, i found a handkerchief in the road, in the corner of which was securely tied a silver quarter and a silver dime. instantly my thoughts flew to the next sabbath, and to the prayer i had offered. o, yes! i thought, god has more than answered my prayer; instead of giving me just enough for next sabbath, he has given me enough, for seven sabbaths. then the thought came, somebody lost it; yes, it was my duty to find the owner, which i did not expect would be difficult, although it was in town. so i cheerfully gave it up, thinking that 'the lord will provide' in some other way. i took it directly to my teacher, and asked her to find the owner. she made faithful inquiry, but no one was found to claim it. who can question this being an answer to prayer, when we think of the numerous _chances_ against its occurring just as it did." a child's prayer for papa. a drunkard, who had run through his property, returned one night to his unfurnished house. he entered his empty hall. anguish was gnawing at his heart-strings, and language was inadequate to express his agony as he entered his wife's apartment, and there beheld the victims of his appetite, his loving wife and a darling child. morose and sullen, he seated himself without saying a word; he could not speak; he could not look up then. the mother said to the little angel at her side, "come, my child, it is time to go to bed;" and that little baby, as she was wont, knelt by her mother's lap and gazing wistfully into the face of her suffering parent, like a piece of chiseled statuary, slowly repeated her nightly orison. when she had finished, the child (but four years of age) said to her mother, "dear mother, may i not offer up one more prayer?" "yes, yes, my sweet pet, pray;" and she lifted up her tiny hands, closed her eyes, and prayed: "o god! spare, oh! spare my dear papa!" that prayer was lifted with electric rapidity to the throne of god. it was heard on high--it was heard on earth. the responsive "amen!" burst from the father's lips, and his heart of stone became a heart of flesh. wife and child were both clasped to his bosom, and in penitence he said: "my child, you have saved your father from the grave of a drunkard. i'll sign the pledge!" a little quaker boy's prayer right out in meeting. a little quaker boy, about six years old, after sitting, like the rest of the congregation, in silence, all being afraid to speak first, as he thought, got up on the seat, and, folding his arms over his breast, murmured in a clear, sweet voice, just loud enough to be distinctly heard on the front seat, "i do wish the lord would make us all gooder, and gooder, and gooder, till there is no bad left." what the little children may do. at family prayer, little mary, one evening when all was silent, looked anxiously in the face of her back-sliding father, who had ceased to pray in his family, and said to him with quivering lips, "pa, is god dead?" "no, my child--why do you ask that?" "why, pa, you never talk to him now as you used to do," she replied. these words haunted the father until he was mercifully reclaimed. the unbelieving father led to go to church. an unbelieving father came home one evening and asked where his little girl was. "she has gone to bed," said his wife. "i'll just go and give her one kiss," said the father, for he loved his little daughter dearly. as he stood at the door of her bedroom, he heard some one praying. it was his little jane, and he heard her say, "do, god almighty, please lead daddy to hear mr. stowell preach." she had often asked him to go, and he had always said, "no, no, my child." after listening to her prayer, he determined, the next time she asked him, to accompany her, which he did, and heard a sermon which took his attention and pricked his conscience. on leaving the church, he clasped the hand of his little girl in his, and said, "jane, thy god shall be my god, and thy minister shall be my minister." and the man became a true follower of the lord. a child's prayer for relief an interesting little daughter of a professor in danville, kentucky, in the summer of , in eating a watermelon, got one of the seeds lodged in her windpipe. the effort was made to remove it, but proved ineffectual, and it was thought that the child would have to be taken to one of the large cities to have an operation performed by a skillful surgeon. to this she was decidedly opposed, and pleaded with her mamma to tell her if there was no other way of relief. finally, in order to quiet her childish fears, her christian mother told her to ask god to help her. the little one went into an adjoining room and offered her prayer to god to help her. shortly thereafter she came running to her mamma with the seed in her hand, and her beautiful and intelligent face lighted up with joy. in response to the eager inquiry of the mother, the little one said that she had asked god to help her, and while she was praying she was taken with a severe cough, in which she threw up the seed. god's care over his people--the praying widow a young widow with two children was living in the city of berlin. she was a christian woman, and trusted in jehovah-jireh to take care of her. one evening she had to be away for a while. during her absence a man entered her house for the purpose of robbing her. but "the lord who provides" protected her from this danger in a very singular way. on returning to her home she found a note lying on her table, which read as follows: "madam, i came here with the intention of robbing you, but the sight of this little room, with the religious pictures hanging around in it, and those two sweet-looking children quietly sleeping in their little bed, have touched my heart. i cannot take anything of yours. the small amount of money lying on your desk i leave untouched, and i take the liberty of adding fifty dollars besides." the bible tells us that "the hearts of men are in the hands of god. and he turneth them as the rivers of waters are turned." he turned the heart of this robber from his wicked purpose, and in this way he protected the widow who trusted in him. god saved a family mercifully. one morning a christian farmer, in rhode island, put two bushels of rye in his wagon and started to the mill to get it ground. on his way to the mill he had to drive over a bridge that had no railings to the sides of it. when he reached the middle of this bridge his horse, a quiet, gentle creature, began all at once to back. in spite of all the farmer could do, he kept on backing till the hinder wheels went over the side of the bridge, and the bag of grain was tipped out and fell into the stream. then the horse stood still. some men came to help the farmer. the wagon was lifted back and the bag of grain was fished up from the water. of course it could not be taken to the mill in that state. so the farmer had to take it home and dry it. he had prayed that morning that god would protect and help him through the day, and he wondered what this accident had happened for. he found out, however, before long. on spreading out the grain to dry he noticed a great many small pieces of glass mixed up with it. if this had been ground up with the grain into the flour it would have caused the death of himself and his family. but jehovah-jireh was on that bridge. he made the horse back and throw the grain into the water to save the family from the danger that threatened them. a child's faith in the lord's prayer. about the th of july, , the beautiful village of chambersburgh was invaded and pillaged by the confederate army. a superintendent of a sabbath school, formerly resident in the south, but who had been obliged to flee to the north because of his known faithfulness to the national government, was residing there, knowing that if discovered by the confederate soldiers, he would be in great peril of life, property and every indignity,--in the gray dawn of that memorable day, with his wife and two little girls, again on foot, he fled to the chain of mountains lying north-west of the doomed village. after remaining out for some days and nights, with no shelter but such as was afforded by the friendly boughs of large forest trees, and without food, they became nearly famished. at last, the head of the family, unable to endure the agony of beholding his wife and children starving to death before his face, and he not able to render the needed relief, withdrew to a place by himself, that he might not witness the sad death of his loved ones. with his back against a large oak, he had been seated only a short time, when his eldest little daughter, not quite ten years old, came to him and exclaimed: "_father, father, i have found such a precious text in my little testament, which i brought to the mountain with me, for very joy i could not stop to read it to mother, but hastened to you with it. please listen while i read_." to which he said: "yes, my child, read it. there is comfort to be found in the scriptures. we will not long be together on earth, and there could be no better way of spending our last mortal hours." to which she replied: "o, father, i believe that we will not die at this time; that we will not be permitted to starve; that god will surely send us relief; but do let me read." then opening her dear little volume, at the ninth verse of the sixth chapter of matthew, she read as follows: "'_our father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven; give us this day our daily bread.' o, father, to think that our dear saviour himself taught his disciples to pray for their daily bread. these are his own words. it is not possible, therefore, that he will allow any person to starve, who, in his own appointed language, asks him for food. will he not, dear father, hear our prayers for bread_?" at once and forever the scales fell from the eyes of that parent. with tears streaming down his cheeks, he clasped his child to his bosom, and earnestly repeated the lord's prayer. _he had scarcely finished it when a small dog ran to where he and his daughter were upon their knees, and barked so fiercely as to attract to the spot its owner, a wealthy pennsylvania farmer,_ who was upon the mountain in search of cattle that he had lost for several days. the kind-hearted tiller of the soil immediately piloted the suffering family to his own comfortable home, and properly provided for their wants. a child preserved from wolves. a little girl only nine years old, named sutherland, living at platteville, col., was recently saved from death by ferocious forest wolves as follows: the child went with her father on a cold afternoon to the woods to find the cattle, and was told to follow the calves home, while the father continued his search for the cows. she did so, but the calves misled her, and very soon she became conscious that she was lost. night came on, and with it the cold of november and the dreaded wolves. with a strange calmness she continued on her uncertain way. the next day, sunday, at a.m., she reached, in her wanderings, the house of john beebe, near a place called evans, having traveled constantly eighteen hours, and a distance of not less than twenty-five miles. _all night the wolves growled around her, but harmed her not_; neither was she in the least frightened by them. all know that in ordinary cases fierce packs of blood-thirsty wolves would devour a man, and even a horse. but this little one was invincible in her trusting, simple faith. the narrative states: "she said that the wolves kept close to her heels and snapped at her feet; but her mother told her that if she was _good_ the lord would _always_ take care of her; so she asked the lord to take care of her, and she knew the wolves would not hurt her, _because god wouldn't let them_!" the child was hunted for by a great number of people, and being found was restored shortly to her parents in perfect health and soundness. jesus cured me. in the family of a missionary pastor in kansas, was a daughter of twelve years of age, seriously afflicted with chronic rheumatism. for three years she suffered, until the leg was shrunken, stiff at the knee, shorter by some two inches than, the other, and the hip joint was being gradually drawn from its socket. the child read of mrs. miller's cure by prayer, originally published in _the advance_, and wondered why she could not also be cured by the same means. she repeated to her mother some of the promised answers to prayer, and asked: "don't jesus mean what he says, and isn't it just as true now as then?" the mother endeavored to divert her attention by representing the affliction as a blessing. the physician also called and left another prescription, and encouraged the child to hope for benefit from it. the child could not, however, be diverted from the thought that jesus could and would heal her. after the doctor's departure she said: "_mamma, i cannot have that plaster put on."_ "why, dear." "_because, mother, jesus is going to cure me, and he must have all the glory. dr. ---- doesn't believe in god; if we put the plaster on, he will say it was that which helped me; and it must be all jesus_." so earnest was she, that her mother at length placed the package, just as she had received it, on a shelf, and said no more about it. the little girl and her mother were alone that day, the father being absent from home. when the household duties were done she called her mother to her. "mother, will you pray now to jesus to cure me_? i have got the faith; i know he will if you will ask him_." the mother, overcome, yielded to her daughter's request, and commenced praying. she was blest with unusual consciousness of the presence of god, and became insensible of all outward surroundings, pleading for the child. she remained in this state of intercession for more than an hour, when she was aroused by her daughter, who with her hand on the mother's shoulder was joyfully exclaiming, "_mother, dear mother, wake up! don't you see jesus has cured me? o, i am well! i am all well!" and she danced about the room, literally healed._ one week from that day, the girl was seen by the writer in the "_advance,"_ who says she was _out sliding on the ice with her companions_. from that day to this she has had no further trouble; _the limb is full, round and perfect_; there is _no difference between it and the other_. to every question asked she replies, with the overflowing gratitude of a loving heart, "jesus cured me!" the little boy who wanted his sister to read the bible. rev. mr. spurgeon, of london, tells of the excellent faith of a little boy in one of the schools of edinburgh, who had attended a prayer-meeting, and at the last said to his teacher who conducted it: "teacher, i wish my sister could be got to read the bible; she never reads it." "why, johnny, should your sister read the bible?" "because if she once read it i am sure it would do her good, and she would he converted and saved." "do you think so, johnny?" "yes, i do, sir; and i wish the next time there was a prayer-meeting you would ask the people to pray for my sister, that she may begin to read the bible." "well, well, it shall be done, john." so the teacher gave out that a little boy was anxious that prayer should be offered that his sister might read the bible. john was observed to get up and go out. the teacher thought it very rude of the boy to disturb the people in a crowded room, and so the next day, when the lad came, he said: "john, i thought it very rude of you to get up in the prayer-meeting and go out. you ought not to have done so." "o, sir," said the boy, "i did not mean to be rude; _but i thought i should like to go home and see my sister reading her bible for the first time_." _true to his faith, when he reached his home, he found the little girl reading her bible_. nettie's daily bread. a little girl in a wretched attic, whose sick mother had no bread, knelt down by the bedside, and said slowly: "give us this day our daily bread." then she went into the street and began to wonder where god kept his bread. she turned around the corner and saw a large, well-filled baker's shop. "this," thought nettie, "is the place." so she entered confidently, and said to the big baker, "i've come for it." "come for what?" "my daily bread," she said, pointing to the tempting loaves. "i'll take two, if you please--one for mother and one for me." "all right," said the baker, putting them into a bag, and giving them to his little customer, who started at once into the street. "stop, you little rogue!" he said, roughly; "where is your money?" "i haven't any," she said simply. "haven't any!" he repeated, angrily; "you little thief, what brought you here, then?" the hard words frightened the little girl, who, bursting into tears, said: "mother is sick, and i am so hungry. in my prayers i said, 'give us this day our daily bread,' and then i thought _god meant me to fetch it, and so i came_." the rough, but kind-hearted baker was softened by the child's simple tale, and instead of chiding her or visiting threats of punishment, as is usually the case, he said: "_you poor, dear girl; here, take this to your mother_," and he filled a large basketful and gave it to her. the brother's prayer. a physician, who for many years practiced his profession in the state of california, was called once to see the child of mr. doak, of calveras county, living on the road between san andreas and stockton, and not far from the mining town of campo seco, or dry camp. he says: the patient was a little girl about ten years of age, bright and intelligent and one of twins, the other being a boy, equally bright and well-disposed. the primary symptoms had indicated inflammation of the stomach, which the attending physician had hopelessly combated, and finally, when by metastasis it attacked the brain, with other unfavorable symptoms, he was inclined to abandon the case in despair. it was at this juncture i was called in. the symptoms were exceedingly unfavorable, and my own opinion coincided with my professional brother's. however, we determined to go to work. a day and night of incessant watching, and the state of the patient caused us both to feel the case hopeless, and we only continued our attendance at the earnest solicitation of the child's mother. the anxious, care-worn and restless sorrow of the little brother, his deep grief as he saw his sister given over to the power of the king of terrors, had attracted our attention. he would creep up to the bedside of his sister silently, with pale and tearful face, controlling his emotion with great effort, and then steal away again and weep bitterly. with a vague, indefinite idea of comforting the little fellow, i took him to my knee, and was about to utter some platitude, when the little fellow, looking me in the face, his own the very picture of grief, burst out with-- "oh, doctor, must sister die?" "yes," i replied, "but,"-- before i could go farther he again interrupted me: "oh, doctor, is there nothing, nothing that will save her? can nobody, nobody save my sister?" for an instant the teachings of a tender and pious mother flashed over my mind. they had been long neglected, were almost forgotten. california, in those days, was not well calculated to fasten more deeply on the mind home teachings. there were very few whose religious training survived the ordeal, and for a long time i had hardly thought of prayer. but the question brought out with the vividness of a flash of lightning, and as suddenly, all that had been obscured by my course of life, and, hardly knowing what i did, i spoke to him of the power that might reside in prayer. i said, god had promised to answer prayer. i dared not allow the skeptical doubt, that came to my own mind, meet the ear of that innocent boy, and told him, more as my mother had often told me than with any thought of impressing a serious subject on his mind, "_that the prayers of little boys, even, god would hear_." i left that night with some simple directions, that were given more to satisfy the mother than from having the slightest hope of eventual recovery, promising to return next day. in the morning, as i rode to the door, the little boy was playing round with a bright and cheerful countenance, and looked so happy that involuntarily i asked: "is your sister better?" "oh, no, doctor," he replied, "but she is going to get well." "how do you know," i asked. "_because i prayed to god_" said he, "and _he told me she would."_ "how did he tell you?" the little fellow looked at me for an instant, and reverently placing his hand on the region of his heart, said: "_he told me in my heart_." going to the room where my patient was lying, i found no change whatever, but in spite of my own convictions there had sprung up a hope within me. the medical gentleman with whom i was in consultation came to the room, and as he did, _a thought of a very simple remedy_ i had seen used by an old negro woman, in a very dissimilar case, _occurred to my mind._ it became so _persistently present_ that i mentioned it to my brother practitioner. he looked surprised, but merely remarked. "it can do no harm." i applied it. in two hours we both felt the case was out of danger. the second day after that, as we rode from the house, my friend asked me how i came to think, of so simple a remedy. "_i think it was that boy's prayer_," i replied. "why, doctor! you are not so superstitious as to connect that boy's prayers with his sister's recovery," said he. "yes, i do," i replied; "for the life of me i cannot help thinking his prayers were more powerful than our remedies." light given to a blind child. "a missionary visiting one of the mission schools of brooklyn, was introduced to a remarkable child. he was brought into the school from the highways and hedges, and young as he was, he had been taught of god. one day he was playing with powder, and putting his mouth to the match to blow it, it exploded, and the whole charge went into his face and eyes. he became totally blind, and the physician gave but little hope of recovery. but the little sufferer was patient and calm, and even hopeful; sitting through the dark days meditating on what he had learned at the mission sabbath-school, and repeating passages of scripture and many a beautiful hymn. "one evening after the physician had spoken discouragingly, and his parents, as he perceived, were in deep distress, he was absorbed on his knees in a corner of the room in earnest prayer. his voice, though subdued almost to a whisper, was indicative of intense feeling. his parents inquired what he had been praying so earnestly for. why, said he, that _jesus christ would open my eyes. the doctor says he can't, and so i thought i would ask the savior to do it for me. god honored his faith. in a few days his sight came to him; and the prayer was answered. he can now see clearly_." asking the lord to help him in his lessons. "a little boy was at school, he was diligent, and determined to succeed, but found that parsing was rather hard. "one day he went to his mamma for a little help in analyzing some sentences. she told him the proper manner of doing it, and he followed her directions; but he was much troubled that he could not understand the whys and wherefores himself. "his mamma told him it was rather hard for him then, but that after he had studied a little longer, it would be quite easy. "johnnie went into another room to study alone, but after a little came back, his face perfectly radiant with joy. he said: 'o mamma, i want to begin again. i asked jesus to help me, and now i think i see just how it is. he always helps us when we ask him;' and with unspeakable delight he with his mamma went over his lesson again." give us this day our daily bread. "the _american messenger_ tells the story of johnny hall, a poor boy. his mother worked hard for their daily bread. 'please give me something to eat; i am very hungry,' he said one evening. his mother let the work upon which she was sewing fall from her knee, and drew johnny toward her. her tears fell fast as she said: 'mamma is very poor, and cannot give you any supper to-night.' 'never mind, mamma; i shall soon be asleep, and then i sha'n't feel hungry. but you will sit and sew, and be so hungry and cold. poor mamma,' he said, and kissed her many times to comfort her. "'now, johnny, you may say your prayers;' for dearly as his mother loved him, she could ill afford to lose a moment from her work. he repeated 'our father' with her until they came to the petition, 'give us this day our daily bread.' the earnestness, almost agony, with which the mother uttered these words, impressed johnny strongly. he said them over again: '_give us this day our daily bread_.' then opening his blue eyes, he fixed them on his mother, and said: 'we shall never be hungry any more. god is _our father_, and he _will_ hear us.' the prayer was finished and johnny laid to rest. the mother sewed with renewed energy. her heart was sustained by the simple faith of her child. many were the gracious promises which came to her remembrance. although tired and hungry, still it was with a light heart she sank to rest. "early in the morning a gentleman called on his way to business. he wished johnny's mother to come to his home to take charge of his two motherless boys. she immediately accepted the offer. they were thus provided with all the comforts of a good home. johnny is a man now, but he has never forgotten the time when he prayed so earnestly for his daily bread. "_god will hear prayer_ is his firm belief. in many ways has he had the faith of his childhood confirmed. he looks to god as his father with the same trust now as then. god will take care of me. "when the yellow fever raged in new orleans, the pestilence visited a christian household, and the father died. then the mother was suddenly seized, and knowing that she must die, she gathered the four children around her bed, the oldest being only about ten years of age, and said to them that god was about to take her home to heaven. she urged them to have no fears, and assured them that the kind, heavenly father who had so long provided for them would surely come and take care of them. the children, with almost breaking hearts, believed what the dying mother had told them. "she was buried. the three youngest soon followed her, although they received every necessary attention from friends during their sickness. the oldest, a boy, was also seized by the pestilence, and in an unguarded moment, under the influence of delirium, wandered from his sick-bed out into the suburbs of the city, and lying down in the tall grass by the roadside, looked steadfastly up, murmuring, incoherently at times, 'mother said god would come and take care of me--would come and take care of me!' a gentleman happening to pass at the time, and hearing the unusual sounds, went where the lad was lying, and rousing him, asked him what he was doing there. said the little fellow in reply: '_father died; mother died; little brother and sisters died. but just before mother went away into heaven, she told us to have no fear, for god would come and take care of us, and i am now waiting for him to come down and take me. i know he will come, for mother said so, and she always told us the truth_.' "'well,' said the gentleman, whose kindliest sympathies were stirred by the little fellow's sad condition and his implicit confidence in his sainted mother's pious instructions, '_god has sent me, my son, to take care of you_.' so he had him carried to his home, and kindly nursed and cared for by his own family. he recovered, and to-day is one of the most useful christian young men in the far west, where he has fixed his home." laura healed. "a christian teacher, connected with a southern orphan asylum, writes _the christian_, that often when the children were sick, and most of them came to me more or less diseased, i cried to the lord for help, and he who 'bore our infirmities, and carried our sicknesses,' healed them. oh it is so good to trust in the lord! how much better to rely on him 'in whom we live, and move, and have our being,' than to put confidence in man, even in the most skillful physician. to confirm and strengthen the faith of the doubting, i send you the following account of the healing of one of our orphans. "laura was one of a large orphan family, living on port royal island, s.c. when her mother died, she went to live with a colored woman who made her work very hard, 'tote' wood and water, hoe cotton and corn, do all manner of drudgery, rise at daybreak, and live on scanty food. laura suffered from want, exposure and abuse. the freed-women of the plantation looked with pity into her eyes, and desired her to run away. but she replied, 'aunt dora will run after me, and when she done cotch me, she'll stripe me well with the lash; she done tell so already.' "one morning, however, when laura went to the creek for crabs, a good aunty followed her, and throwing a shawl over the poor child's rags, said, 'now, laura, put foot for beaufort fast as ever you can, and when you get there, inquire where mrs. mather lives: go straight to her; she has a good home for jes sich poor creeters as you be.' laura obeyed, hastened to beaufort, seven miles distant, found my home, was made welcome, and her miserable rags exchanged for good clean clothes. in the morning, i said, 'laura, did you sleep well last night?' she replied, 'o, missis, my heart too full of joy to sleep. me lay awake all night, thinking how happy me is in dis nice, clean bed, all to myself. me never sleep in a bed before, missis.' "laura, then about thirteen years old, came to me with a hard cough, and pain in her side. i put on flannels, gave her a generous diet, and hoped, that with rest and cheerful surroundings, she would soon rally as other children had, who came to me in a similar broken-down condition. still the cough and pain continued. i dosed her with various restoratives, such as flax-seed, and slippery elm, etc., but all were of no avail. she steadily grew worse. every week i could see she declined. her appetite failed; night sweats came on; and she was so weak that most of the day she lay in bed. the children, all of whom loved laura, she was so patient and gentle, whispered one to another, 'laura is gwine to die; dere is def in her eye." "one evening in mid-winter, the poor child's short breath, fluttering pulse, and cold, clammy sweat alarmed me, and i felt sure that unless the dear lord interposed in her behalf, her time with us was very short. i lingered by her bed till near midnight in prayer for her recovery. i could not give her up. again in my own room i poured out my soul in prayer for the child, and then slept. about two o'clock, i suddenly awoke, and heard what seemed a voice saying to me, '_go to laura; i can heal her now; the conditions are right; you are both calm and trustful_.' "i arose quickly, hastened to her room and said to her, 'laura, do you want to get well?' 'o, yes, missis, me wants to get well.' 'do you believe jesus can cure you?' she replied, 'i know he can if he will.' 'well, laura,' i said, 'jesus has just waked me out of a sound sleep, and told me to go and tell you that he _will cure you now_. do you believe he will, laura?' 'yes, missis, me _do believe_,' she replied earnestly. she then repeated this prayer. 'o, jesus, do please to make me well; let me live a long time, and be a good and useful woman.' "the burden had rolled off my heart; i returned to my room and slept sweetly. in the morning, tamar, laura's attendant, met me at the door, exclaiming joyfully, 'o, i'se so glad! laura is a heap better, missis. she wake me up long time before day and begged me to get her something to eat, she so hungry.' "from that night laura rapidly recovered. her cough abated, her appetite was restored, her night sweats ceased, and in less than a month she was strong and well." a little slave's faith. a missionary in india, passing one day through the school room, observed a little boy engaged in prayer, and overheard him say, "o, lord jesus, i thank thee for sending big ship into my country and wicked men to steal me and bring me here, that i might hear about thee and love thee. and now, lord jesus, i have one great favor to ask thee. please to send wicked men with another big ship, and let them catch my father and my mother, and bring them to this country, that they may hear the missionaries preach and love thee." the missionary in a few days after saw him standing on the sea-shore, looking very intently as the ships came in. "what are you looking at, tom?" "i am looking to see if jesus christ answers prayer." for two years he was to be seen day after day watching the arrival of every ship. one day, as the missionary was viewing him, he observed him capering about and exhibiting the liveliest joy. "well, tom, what gives you so much joy?" "_o, jesus christ answer prayer. father and mother come in that ship_," which was actually the case. a good reason for praying. a little girl about four years of age being asked, "why do you pray to god?" replied: "because i know he hears me, and i love to pray to him." "but how do you know he hears you?" putting her little hand to her heart, she said, "i know he does, because there is something _here_ that tells me so." my heart talked. a child six years old, in a sunday school, said: "when we kneel down in the school-room to pray, it seems as if my heart talked." why, sir, i begged. a little boy, one of the sunday school children in jamaica, called upon the missionary and stated that he had lately been very ill, and in his sickness often wished his minister had been present to pray with him. "but, thomas," said the missionary, "i hope you prayed." "oh, yes, sir." "did you repeat the collect i taught you?" "i prayed." "well, but how did you pray?" "why, sir, i begged." a little child's prayer for healing. a very little child, who had but recently learned to talk, and the daughter of a home missionary, had been for weeks troubled with a severe cough, which was very severe in its weakness upon her. at last her father said to her, "daughter, ask jesus, the good lord, to heal you." putting up her little hands as she lay in bed, she said, "_dear jesus, will oo please to cure me, and do please tell papa what to give me_." the father, who was listening, thought several times of "_syrup of ipecac_" but did not connect it immediately with the prayer. at last the thought came so often before him, that he felt, "well, it will do no harm, perhaps this is what the lord wants me to give her." he procured it, administered it, and in three hours the little child's cough had wholly ceased, and she was playing on the floor with the other children. a most singular feature is the fact that the same medicine was administered at other times and had no effect in relief. * * * * * the blessedness of giving "_blessed is he that considereth the poor; the lord will deliver him in time of trouble_." "_honor the lord with thy substance, and with the first fruits of all thine increase, so shalt thy barns be filled with plenty_." "_there is that scattereth and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it lendeth to poverty_." "_the liberal soul shall be made fat, and he that watereth shall be watered also himself_." "_he that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the lord; and that which he hath given will he pay him again."_ "_whoso stoppeth his ears at the cry of the poor, he also shall cry himself, but shall not be heard_." "_he that hath a bountiful eye shall be blessed, for he giveth of his bread to the poor_." "_he that putteth his trust in the lord shall be made fat_." "_he that giveth unto the poor shall not lack; but he that hideth his eye shall have many a curse_." "_cast thy bread upon the waters, for thou shall find it after many days_." "_if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul, the lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones. and thou shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not_." "_he which soweth bountifully, shall reap also bountifully_." "_every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, nor of necessity, for_ god loveth a cheerful giver. * * * * * how the lord blesses those "who give liberally to his cause. a disciple of the lord jesus, poor in this world's goods, but rich in faith, became greatly perplexed in regard to the meaning of the forty-second verse of the fifth chapter of matthew. the words are: "give to him that asketh thee; and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away." after a season of prolonged mental inquiry, as to whether the language was to be regarded as literal or not, she suddenly paused and exclaimed: "it is easy enough to find out; test it and see." it was saturday. her money, all but two dollars, had been expended in providing for the sabbath. the amount left, which was absolutely needed for the following monday, she put in her pocket, and went out. on the street, a friend, whose husband had been for some time out of business, met her and stated their distresses, and asked if she could lend them _two dollars to last over the sabbath_. she was surprised. the test had come sooner than she expected, but, without hesitation, the money was "_lent to the lord,"_ and the now penniless believer went home to wait and see. now mark the result. monday came, and with it the needs to be supplied. while pondering what course to pursue, a knock was heard, and, on opening the door, a lady, with a bundle in her hand, inquired if she could do a little work for her. replying in the affirmative, and naming the price, the lady took from her pocket-book two dollars, and handed it to her, saying: "it is more than you ask, but you might as well have it." "i was never more astonished," said this true disciple, "and literally shouted for joy. i had tested and proved that the promises of god are yea and amen in christ jesus. glory to god. i have never doubted since; and though often in straits, i have always been delivered." would it not be well for christians to "test" where they cannot understand? "ye are my friends," said the blessed lord, "if ye do whatsoever i command you." obedience will solve difficulties that reasoning cannot unravel. try and see. dividing with god. a merchant, in answer to inquiries, refers back to a period when, he says, "in consecrating my life anew to god, aware of the ensnaring influences of riches, and the necessity of deciding on a plan of charity before wealth should bias my judgment, i adopted the following system: "i decided to balance my accounts as nearly as i could, every month; and reserving such a portion of profits as might appear adequate to cover probable losses, to lay aside, by entry on a benevolent account, one-tenth of the remaining profits, great or small, as a fund for benevolent expenditure, supporting myself and family on the remaining nine-tenths. i further determined, that when at any time my net profits, that is, profits from which clerk-hire and store expenses had been deducted, should exceed $ in a month, i would give twelve and a half per cent.; if over $ , fifteen per cent.; if over $ , seventeen and a half per cent.; if over $ , , twenty per cent.; if over $ , , twenty-two and a half per cent.; thus increasing the proportion of the whole as god should prosper, until at $ , , i should give twenty-five per cent., or $ a month. as capital was of the utmost importance to my success in business, i decided not to increase the foregoing scale until i had acquired a certain capital, after which i would give one-quarter of all net profits, great or small; and on the acquisition of another certain amount of capital, i decided to give half; and on acquiring what i determined would be a full sufficiency of capital, then to give the whole of my net profits. "it is now several years since i adopted this plan, and under it i have acquired a handsome capital, and have been prospered beyond my most sanguine expectations. although constantly giving, i have never yet touched the bottom of my fund, and have been repeatedly astonished to find what large drafts it would bear. true, during some months i have encountered a salutary trial of faith, when this rule has led me to lay by the tenth, while the remainder proved inadequate to my support; but the tide has soon turned, and with gratitude i have recognized a heavenly hand more than making good all past deficiencies." prosperity and liberality. a london correspondent of the _western christian advocate_, writing some years ago of raising a fund for the extinction of debts on chapels, gives the following incident: "a gentleman named wilkes, who was promised a subscription of one thousand guineas to this fund, has a history so remarkable as to be worth relating across the atlantic. seven years ago he was a journeyman mechanic. having invented and patented some kind of a crank or spindle used in the cotton manufacture, and needing capital to start himself in the business of making them, he made it a matter of earnest prayer that he might be directed to some one able and willing to assist him. in a singular and unexpected manner he fell in with an elderly quaker, a perfect stranger, who accosted him with the strange inquiry: 'friend, i should like to know if a little money would be of any service to thee.' having satisfied himself as to wilkes' genius and honesty, the quaker at once advanced him the required amount. the praying mechanic started in business on his own account, and everything he has touched of late appeared to prosper. "hearing of a field in ireland offered for sale, in which was a deserted mine, he went over to see it; bought the field for a small sum, recommenced working the mine, and it now turns out to yield abundance of excellent copper. for the year , he promised to give the missionary society a _guinea a day_; but such abundance has poured in upon him during the year, that he felt that to be below his duty, and has, therefore, enlarged his subscription for the present year seven-fold. he is actually giving to that noble cause seven guineas daily, or upwards of $ , a year, during this year, ; in addition to which he has just given one thousand guineas to the fund above referred to." "it is pleasing to add," says the writer, "that this remarkable man retains the utmost simplicity." would that liberality and prosperity might ever go hand in hand. often, as wealth increases liberality is starved out, and the rich give far less than the poor in proportion to their means and ability. the deacon's singing school. "i am going out to see if i can start a singing school," said a good man, as he stood buttoning up his overcoat, and muffling up his ears, one bitterly cold winter night. "a singing school," said his wife, "how will you do that?" "i have heard of a widow around the corner a block or two who is in suffering circumstances. she has five little children, and two of them down sick, and has neither fire nor food. so bennie hope, the office boy tells me. i thought i would just step around and look into the case." "go, by all means," said his wife, "and lose no time. if they are in such need we can give some relief. but i cannot see what all this has to do with starting a singing school. but never mind, you need not stop to tell me now; go quickly and do all you can for the poor woman." so out into the piercing cold of the wintry night went the husband, while the wife turned to the fireside and her sleeping babes, who, in their warm cribs, with the glow of health upon their cheeks, showed that they knew nothing of cold or pinching want. with a thankful spirit she thought of her blessings, as she sat down to her little pile of mending. very busily and quietly she worked, puzzling all the time over what her husband could have meant by starting a singing school. a singing school and the widow--how queer! what possible connection could they have? at last she grew tired of the puzzling thought, and said to herself, "i won't bother myself thinking about it any more. he will tell me all about it when he comes home. i only hope we may be able to help the poor widow and make her 'poor heart sing for joy.' there," she exclaimed, "can that be what he meant? the widow's heart singing for joy! wouldn't that be a singing school? it must be; it is just like john. how funny that i should find it out!" and she laughed merrily at her lucky guess. taking up her work again, she stitched away with a happy smile on her face, as she thought over again her husband's words, and followed him in imagination in his kind ministrations. by-and-by two shining tears dropped down, tears of pure joy, drawn from the deep wells of her love for her husband, of whom she thought she never felt so fond before. at the first sound of footsteps she sprang to open the door. "oh, john! did you start the singing school?" "i reckon i did," said the husband, as soon as he could loose his wrappings; "but i want you to hunt up some flannels and things to help to keep it up." "oh, yes! i will; i know now what you mean. i have thought it all out. making the widow's 'heart sing for joy' is your singing school. (job. xxix: .) what a precious work, john! 'pure religion and undefiled is to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction.' my own heart has been singing for joy all the evening because of your work, and i do not mean to let you do it alone. i want to draw out some of this wonderful music." it pays to give to the lord. "a clergyman states, that soon after he dedicated himself to the service of christ, he resolved, as jacob did, 'of all that thou shalt give me, i will surely give a tenth unto thee.' of the first $ he earned, he gave $ , and in such a way that it incited a wealthy friend to give several hundreds more, including a donation of $ to this clergyman himself. for four years, the clergyman says, 'my expenses were small, my habits economical, and the only _luxury_ in which i indulged was the luxury of giving. in the two first of these years i was permitted to give $ .' 'on a review of my ministry of about sixteen years,' he adds, 'i find god has graciously permitted me to give to the cause of my redeemer nearly $ , , by which amount about forty life memberships have been created in various evangelical societies. during all these years god has prospered me; has given me almost uninterrupted health; has surrounded me with sweet domestic ties; and my congregation, by means in part perhaps of a steady example, have given _more in these sixteen years_ than in all their long previous history." another example of beneficence. "a liberal donor, in enclosing $ to a sister institution, but strictly withholding his name, says, 'when i began business, it was with the intention and hope to become rich. a year afterward i became, as i trust, a christian, and about the same time met with 'cobb's resolutions,' which i adopted. some four or five years later, i read 'normand smith's memoir,' and also wesley's 'sermon on the use of money,' which led me to devote all my gains to benevolent uses, reserving to myself $ , while i remained unmarried, part of which i have bequeathed to relatives, and the remainder to benevolent societies. up to this time--about sixteen years--by the grace of god--nothing else--i have given about $ , to benevolent purposes, and lent about $ to those in need, which has not been returned; making in all about $ , ." commendable examples. the methodist missionary society mention one of their donors who, for twenty years, has used the power given him of getting wealth, for his lord, in which time he has been enabled to appropriate to benevolent purposes _more than thirty thousand dollars_, while operating with a capital of but five thousand dollars. another business man of that denomination in boston, during fifteen years, has appropriated _thirty-nine thousand dollars_. system in giving. a correspondent of the american tract society says, "it was their publications which induced me to appropriate statedly one-tenth of my income to the cause of the lord. after acting upon that scale nearly two years, and finding that although _my donations greatly exceeded those of former years_, my affairs were not thereby involved in any embarrassment; but that, on the contrary, with increasing contributions to the leading objects of christian benevolence and to general charity, came an _increased store and enlarging resources_, i concluded, with a heart throbbing with grateful emotions to my creator, in view of his great love and kindness toward me, that i would increase the proportion." lending to the lord. "a poor man, some of whose family were sick, lived near deacon murray, (referred to in the tract, 'worth of a dollar,') and occasionally called at his house for a supply of milk. one morning he came while the family were at breakfast. mrs. murray rose to wait upon him, but the deacon said to her, 'wait till after breakfast.' she did so, and meanwhile the deacon made some inquiries of the man about his family and circumstances. "after family worship the deacon invited him to go out to the barn with him. when they got into the yard, the deacon, pointing to one of the cows, exclaimed, 'there, take that cow, and drive her home.' the man thanked him heartily for the cow, and started for home; but the deacon was observed to stand in the attitude of deep thought until the man had gone some rods. he then looked up, and called out, 'hey, bring that cow back.' the man looked around, and the deacon added, 'let that cow come back, and you come back too.' he did so; and when he came into the yard again, the deacon said, 'there, now, take your pick out of the cows; _i a'n't going to lend to the lord the poorest cow i've got_.'" a steward of his lord's bounty. an aged benevolent friend in a western city, states some interesting facts respecting his own experience in giving systematically as the lord prospered him. he says, "our country and professors of religion in it have become 'rich and increased in goods,' but i fear that a due proportion is not returned to the giver of every good. "i commenced business in with $ , and united with the 'northern missionary society no. ,' which met monthly for prayer, and required the payment of two dollars a year from each member. that year i married, and the next united with the christian church. no definite system of giving 'as the lord had prospered' me, was fully made until the close of the year . the previous fourteen years had been assiduously devoted to the interests of sabbath-schools and the temperance enterprise, when i found both my physical and pecuniary energies diminished, the latter being less than $ , . "after days and nights of close examination into my affairs, with meditation and prayer, i promised the lord of all, i would try at the close of every year to see what was the value of my property, and the one-quarter of the increase i would return to him in such way as my judgment, aided by his word and providence, might direct. "for more than fifteen years i have lived up to this resolve, and though most of the time i have been unable to attend to active business, the investments i have made have more than quadrupled the value of my property, and in that time enabled me to return to him 'from whom all blessings flow,' $ , . ." the five-dollar gold piece. "'a friend,' says a venerable clergyman, rev. mr. h----, 'at a time when gold was scarce, made me a present of a five-dollar gold piece. i resolved not to spend it, and for a long time carried it in my pocket as a token of friendship. in riding about the country, i one day fell in with an acquaintance, who presented a subscription-book for the erection of a church in a destitute place. "'i can do nothing for you, mr. b----,' said i; 'my heart is in this good undertaking, but my pocket is entirely empty; having no money, you must excuse me.' "'oh, certainly,' said he; 'all right, sir. we know you always give when it is in your power.' "we parted; and after i had proceeded some distance, i bethought me of the piece of gold in my vest pocket. 'what,' said i to myself, 'i told that man i had no money, when i had by me all the time this gold pocket-piece. this was an untruth, and i have done wrong.' i kept reproaching myself in this way until i stopped, and took from my pocket the five-dollar piece. "'of what use,' said i, 'is this piece of money, stowed away so nicely in my pocket?' i made up my mind to turn back, and rode as fast as i could until i overtook mr. b----, to whom i gave the coin, and resumed my journey. "a few days after, i stopped at the house of a lady, who treated me very hospitably, for which i could make no return, except in thanks and christian counsel. when i took leave, she slipped into my vest pocket a little folded paper, which she told me to give to my wife. i supposed it was some trifle for the children, and thought no more of it until i reached home. i handed it to my wife, who opened it, and to my astonishment _it was a five-dollar gold piece, the identical pocket-piece i had parted with but a few days before_. i knew it was the same, for i had made a mark upon it; how this had been brought about was a mystery, but that the hand of the lord was in it i could not doubt. 'see,' said i to my wife; 'i thought i _gave_ that money, but i only _lent_ it; how soon has the lord returned it! never again will i doubt his word.' "i afterward learned that mr. b---- had paid over the coin to the husband of the lady at whose house i staid, along with some other money, in payment for lumber, and he had given it to his wife. "take my advice, and when appealed to for aid, fear not to give of your poverty; depend upon it the lord will not let you lose by it, if you wish to do good. if you wish to prosper, 'give, and it shall be given unto you; for with the same measure that ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.' 'trust in the lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.'" a new year's incident. "one new year's day i was going out to visit some of my poorer neighbors, and thought i would take a sovereign to a certain widow who had seen days of competence and comfort. i went to look in my drawer, and was so sorry to find i had but one sovereign left in my bank for the poor, and my allowance would not be due for two or three weeks. i had nearly closed the drawer upon the solitary sovereign, when this passage of scripture flashed so vividly into my mind, 'the lord is able to give thee much more than this,' ( chron. xxv: .) that i again opened the drawer, took the money, and entered the carriage which was waiting for me. when i arrived at mrs. a.'s, and with many good wishes for the new year, offered her the sovereign, i shall never forget her face of surprised joy. the tears ran down her cheeks while she took my hands and said, 'may the god of the widow and fatherless bless you; we had not one penny in the house, nor a morsel of bread; it is he who has heard my prayers, and sent you again and again to supply my need.' you who pray for and visit the poor, and enjoy the blessedness of relieving their temporal wants and of speaking to them of jesus, you will understand the gladness of heart with which i returned home. "in the country we had only one post daily; so when evening came on, and it was nearly ten o'clock, i was not a little surprised at receiving a letter. when i opened it, how my heart beat for joy when i read these words from a comparative stranger: 'you will have many poor just now to claim your pity and your help, may i beg you to dispense the enclosed five pounds as you see fit? and i have ordered a box of soap to be sent to you for the same purpose.' these boxes of soap are worth four pounds. thus did our gracious god send nine times as much as i gave for his sake, before that day had closed." feneberg's loan to the lord. "a poor man with an empty purse came one day to michael feneberg, the godly pastor of seeg, in bavaria, and begged three crowns, that he might finish his journey. it was all the money feneberg had, but as he besought him so earnestly in the name of jesus, in the name of jesus he gave it. immediately after, he found himself in great outward need, and seeing no way of relief he prayed, saying, 'lord, i lent thee three crowns; thou hast not yet returned them, and thou knowest how i need them. lord, i pray thee, give them back.' the same day a messenger brought a money-letter, which gossner, his assistant, reached over to feneberg, saying, 'here, father, is what you expended.' the letter contained two hundred thalers, or about one hundred and fifty dollars, which the poor traveler had begged from a rich man for the vicar; and the childlike old man, in joyful amazement, cried out, 'ah, dear lord, one dare ask nothing of thee, for straightway thou makest one feel so much ashamed!'" compound interest. _the christian_ tells of a minister in ohio, who in was engaged to statedly supply a congregation who were in arrears for a whole year's salary to their former pastor, and were only able to promise their 'supply' five dollars a sunday till the old debt should be paid. at the close of the year, only about two-thirds of this amount had been paid. so it was not strange that their 'supply' soon found himself in arrears for many things. that year the cost of his periodicals alone had amounted to sixteen dollars. this he could not pay, and as none of them could be stopped without payment of arrearages; the debt must continue to increase. on new year's day the minister was called to marry a couple, and gave the fee, five dollars, to his wife saying, "i want you to get yourself a dress with this." there was a kind of material much worn then, which she had very much admired, a dress of which would cost four dollars. so she went to the mission periodical to find the address of the mission secretary, thinking to send the extra dollar there. but as she glanced over its pages and noticed the trials and straits of the missionaries, and the embarrassment of the board that year, her heart was touched and she felt that they needed the money more than she did the dress, and instead of the one she concluded to send the five dollars. she went to her husband and read her letter to him. "o," said he, "i'm afraid we are too poor to give so much." with a little feeling of disappointment she said, "well, give me the change and i will send what i had intended at first." "no," said he, "you have given it, and i dare not take it back." and so with a prayer that god would accept and bless the gift she signed her letter, "a friend of missions," thinking, as no one would know the author, that was the last she would hear about it in this world. the ladies of that congregation were accustomed to meet weekly at the parsonage to sew for those in need. the next week a lady who was visiting in the place came with her friends, and as she entered the parlor she tossed a bundle into the lap of the minister's wife, saying, "mrs. ----, here is a present for you." the present was a dress pattern of the same kind of material she had intended to purchase. and as she thought to herself, "god has given me this in place of what i have given," she was reminded of the words, "give, and it shall be given to you." but that was not the end. a short time afterwards she received a letter from the secretary of the board of missions, enclosing a printed copy of her own letter, and asking if she were the author of it; and added, "if so, a large-hearted man in new york has authorized me to send you twenty-five dollars, with a special request that you purchase a dress worth five dollars, and give the rest to your husband and children." there was her five dollars back, with four times as much more added to it. the brown towel. the editor of _the christian woman_ tells the story of a poor woman who, in her anxiety to give to the lord, could find nothing but a poor brown towel. "they must be very poor who have _nothing_ to give," said mrs. jarvis, as she deposited a pair of beautiful english blankets in a box that was being filled by the ladies of the church to be sent to the poor. "and now, ladies, as you are nearly through, i would like to tell you an incident in my history; i was once very poor." "you once very poor?" said a lady. "yes; i was once _very poor_. there came to our village a missionary to deliver a lecture. i felt very desirous to go; but having no decent apparel to wear, i was often deprived of going to church, although i was a member. "i waited until it was late, and then slipped in and took a seat behind the door. "i listened with streaming eyes to the missionary's account of the destitution and darkness in heathen lands. poor as i was, i felt it to be a great privilege to live in a christian land and to be able to read my bible. "it was proposed by our pastor that the congregation should fill a box and send it out with the missionary on his return. "o," thought i, "how i would like to send something." "when i returned home my poor children were still sleeping soundly, and my disconsolate husband waiting my return, for he had been out of employment some time. after he had gone to bed i went to looking over my clothes, but i could find nothing that was suitable that i could possibly spare; then i began looking over the children's things, but could find nothing that the poor dears could be deprived of; so i went to bed with a heavy heart, and lay a long time thinking of the destitution of the poor heathen, and how much better off i was. "i got to thinking over my little stock again. there was nothing i could put into the box except two brown towels. "next day i got my towels, pieced out the best one, and when it was almost dark, put on my bonnet, went to the church, slipped my towel into the box, and came away thinking that the lord knew i had done what i could. "and now, ladies, let me tell you it was not long after that till my husband got into a good situation; and prosperity has followed us ever since. so i date back my prosperity to this incident of the brown towel." her story was done, and, as her carriage was waiting at the door, she took her departure, leaving us all mute with surprise that one so rich and generous had been trained to give amid poverty. giving blessed. a merchant of st. petersburg, at his own cost, supported several native missionaries in india, and gave liberally to the cause of christ at home. on being asked how he could afford to do it, he replied: "before my conversion, when i served the world and self, i did it on a grand scale, and at the most lavish expense. and when god by his grace called me out of darkness, i resolved that christ and his cause should have more than i had ever spent for the world. and as to giving _so much_, it is god who enables me to do it; for, at my conversion, i solemnly promised that i would give to his cause a fixed proportion of all that my business brought in to me; and every year since i made that promise, it has brought me in about double what it did the year before, so that i easily can, as i do, double my gifts for his service." and so good old john bunyan tells us, "a man there was, some called him mad, the more he gave, the more he had." and there are truth and instruction in the inscription on the italian tombstone, "what i gave away, i saved; what i spent, i used; what i kept, i lost." "giving to the lord," says another, "is but transporting our goods to a higher floor." and, says dr. barrow, "in defiance of all the torture and malice and might of the world, the _liberal_ man will ever be rich; for god's providence is his estate; god's wisdom and power, his defense; god's love and favor, his reward; and god's word, his security." richard baxter says, "i never prospered more in my small estate than when i gave most. my rule has been, _first_, to contrive to need, myself, as little as may be, to lay out none on _need-nots,_ but to live frugally on a little; _second_, to serve god in any place, upon that competency which he allowed me: to myself, that what i had myself might be as good a work for common good, as that which i gave to others; and _third_, to do all the good i could with all the rest, preferring the: most public and durable object, and the nearest. and the more i have practiced this, the more i have had to do it with; and when i gave almost all, more came in, i scarce knew how, at least unexpected. but when by improvidence i have cast myself into necessities of using more upon myself or upon things in themselves of less importance, i have prospered much less than when i did otherwise. and when i had contented myself to devote a stock i had gotten to charitable uses _after my death_, instead of laying it out at present, in all probability, _that_ is like to be lost; whereas, when i took the present opportunity, and trusted god for the time to come, i wanted nothing and lost nothing." these are a few of many evidences, that where we give from right motives, we are never the poorer, but the richer for doing it. "the liberal soul shall be made fat, and he that watereth, shall be watered also, himself." lending to the lord. as a series of religious meetings was held in a baptist church in ----, and the hearts of god's people were greatly encouraged, the church was consumed by fire. it was proposed to continue the meetings in the congregational church, but the workmen were coming the next morning to demolish and rebuild it. it was then proposed to hire the workmen to delay, that the people might assemble for three days more, but nothing was done; when the congregational pastor walking his study, and thinking that some souls might be gathered in, went to the workmen, and handed them $ from his own pocket, which he could ill afford; the meetings were continued, and a number of souls hopefully converted to god. the day following, as he passed the house, the man to whom he paid the $ called to him, and constrained him to receive back the whole amount, saying it was of no value compared with the saving of a soul. the liberal farmer. a farmer in one of the retired mountain towns of massachusetts, began business in , with six hundred dollars in debt. he began with the determination to pay the debt in six years, in equal installments, and to give all his net income if any remained above those installments. the income of the first year, however, was expended in purchasing stock and other necessaries for his farm. in the six next years he paid off the debt, and having abandoned the intention of ever being any richer, he has ever since given his entire income, after supporting his family and thoroughly educating his six children. during all this period he has lived with the strictest economy, and everything pertaining to his house, table, dress and equipage has been in the most simple style; and though he has twice been a member of the state senate, he conscientiously retains this simplicity in his mode of life. the farm is rocky and remote from the village, and his whole property, real and personal, would not exceed in value three thousand dollars. yet sometimes he has been enabled to give from $ to $ a year. experience of a saddler. normand smith, a saddler of hartford, conn., after practicing for years an elevated system of benevolence, bequeathed in charity the sum of $ , . an anonymous writer says of himself, that he commenced business and prosecuted it in the usual way till he lost $ , which was all he was worth, and found himself in debt $ , . being led by his trials to take god's word as his guide in business as well as in heart and religion, he determined to give his earnings liberally unto the lord. the first year he gave $ . for eighteen years the amount increased by about per cent., and the last year he gave $ , and he says he did it easier than during the first year he paid the $ . besides, though with nothing but his hands to depend on when he began this course, he paid the whole debt of $ , with interest, though it took him nine years to do it. jacob not blessed until he became a liberal giver. jacob went out from his father's house "with his staff," a poor man. but at bethel he vowed to give to god the _tenth_ of all that god should bestow on him. commencing thus, god blessed him, and in twenty years he returned with great riches. the lord's insurance money. a tradesman in new york had pledged to give to the lord a certain portion of his business receipts as fast as they were collected. he called this _the lord's insurance money_, for, said he, "so long as i give so long will the lord help me and bless me, and in some way he will give me the means to give, so it is no money lost. rather it is a blessing to my heart to keep it open in gratitude, a blessing to dispose of it to gladden other hearts, and the surest way to keep the lord's favor with me." the results of his experience were blessed indeed, as he said, "i never realized before how closely the lord is connected with all my interests, and how he helps me in all my business plans. things happen constantly which show me constantly that some one who knows more than i is benefiting me--protecting me. bad debts have been paid which i did not expect. errand boys, just getting into sly and bad habits, have been discovered ere their thefts had proceeded far. as i needed competent help in my business, it has come just as it was wanted. when customers were failing, somehow their debts to me were paid, although they failed to pay others. a severe fire came to my office and apparently seemed to have swept all my valuables away. but it was stopped at just the right moment, and not one thing valuable was lost. the insurance companies paid me enough to replace every damage, and the office was renewed better than before. the lord sends me business enough to pay for my debts, yet others are dull. _i cannot tell why it is, except that i always pray for my business, and ask the lord to bless it for the good of others_, and that the means which come from it may be used for his cause. when i stop giving, business stops coming. when i stop praying specially for it, perplexities arise. as long as i pray for it, it all moves easily, and i have no care or trouble. the lord is my banker, my helper, my insurer, my deliverer, my patron, and my blessed savior of temporal things as well as spiritual." give and it shall be given. "'cheerful giving,' writes an aged minister, 'is what enriches the giver and brings down a blessing from above. a poor clergyman attended one of zion's festivals in a distant city. the railroad company supplied him with a return ticket, and though many of his brethren would secure treasures from the book-stores, but a solitary twenty-five cent scrip was in his possession, and he would need that to pay for refreshment on his way home. it was the last day of the feast. mention, again and again, was made of the widow's mite, or poor men's gifts, and, as the boxes were passed, he felt sad that, in his deep poverty, he could not cast in a single penny. as the assembly was dismissed, it was announced that collectors would stand at the door to gather up the _fragments_ which ought to be in the lord's treasury. with slow steps this good man passed down and put that last money he possessed into the waiting box. "in a few moments, a gentleman of the city invited him to his, table to dine, with quite a number of the dignitaries of the church. during the repast, the host was called from the table for a little time. at the conclusion of a pleasant entertainment, the poor minister was taken one side and an envelope put into his hands, with this remark: 'i was called from the table by a man who has long owed me a small debt, which i thought was lost a long time since, and i cannot think what it was paid to-day for, except that i might give it to you.' the envelope contained twenty-five dollars. when the books are opened, that rich steward will see how his money was used, and thank god, who put it into his heart to dispose of it thus." "lending to the lord." "a physician who is not a professor of religion, in a neighboring city, has for many years exhibited an unshaken faith in that declaration. he told me that he has made many experiments on it, and the lord has fulfilled his words, 'that which he hath given will he pay him again,' in every case. one of his 'experiments' came under my observation. "it was a bleak and chilling day in the winter of - . the doctor was going his rounds and met a poor colored boy in the street. he was nearly frozen to death. he accosted the doctor, and asked him most piteously for a little money, stating, at the same time, that his master, an old quaker, had excluded him from the house, and compelled him to remain in the barn; he could stand it no longer, and desired to go home--twenty miles up the river. the doctor now had the materials for another test of the promise. 'you shall not suffer if i can help you,' was his cheering reply to the boy. he requested him to call at his office, and went to a neighboring hotel and told the landlord to keep the boy until farther orders. late in the evening the boy again appeared at the office, and stated that the landlord had said, 'we don't keep darkies over night.' the doctor immediately started out in search of new quarters, and, after some difficulty, found a colored woman who was willing to keep the boy for a few days. in a short time the river, which had been closed with ice, was open. the doctor paid the bills, gave the boy a dollar, and bade him god speed. that is what he calls lending to the lord. now for the payment. when he called at the house of the colored person to pay the bill, he 'accidentally' met an old lady, who scrutinized him closely, and at length said, 'a'n't you doctor b----?' 'yes,' was the reply; 'but who are you?' 'no matter about my name; i owe you four dollars, which you have long since forgotten, and which i did not intend to pay you till i saw what you have done to that poor boy. the lord bless you for your kindness. next week you shall have your money.' she came according to her promise and offered the money, but the doctor was unwilling to take it, as he had no charge on his books. she forced it on him. he afterwards simply remarked, 'my meeting that woman was not a mere _accident_; the lord always fulfills his promise. i generally get my capital back, with compound interest.'" the praying shoe-maker. a shoe-maker being asked how he contrived to give so much, replied that it was easily done by obeying st. paul's precept in i cor. : : "upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as god hath prospered him." "i earn," said he, "one day with another, about a dollar a day, and i can without inconvenience to myself or family lay by five cents of this sum for charitable purposes; the amount is thirty cents a week. my wife takes in sewing and washing, and earns something like two dollars a week, and she lays by ten cents of that. my children each of them earn a shilling or two, and are glad to contribute their penny; so that altogether we _lay by us in store_ forty cents a week. and if we have been unusually prospered, we contribute something more. the weekly amount is deposited every sunday morning in a box kept for that purpose, and reserved for future use. thus, by these small earnings, we have learned that it is more blessed to give than to receive. the yearly amount saved in this way is about _twenty-five dollars_; and i distribute this among the various benevolent societies, according to the best of my judgment." the history and business successes of liberal givers. mr. nathaniel r. cobb, a merchant connected with the baptist church in boston, in , at the age of twenty-three, drew up and subscribed the following covenant, to which he faithfully adhered till on his death-bed he praised god that by acting according to it he had given in charity more than $ , . "by the grace of god, i will never be worth more than $ , . "by the grace of god, i will give one fourth of the net profits of my business to charitable and religious uses. "if i am ever worth $ , , i will give one-half of my net profits; and if i am ever worth $ , , i will give three-fourths; and the whole, after $ , . so help me god, or give to a more faithful steward, and set me aside. "n.r. cobb." faith in god's liberality. a clergyman, himself an exponent of god's bountiful dealings with men, was called upon in test of his own principles of giving to the lord. preaching, in the morning, a sermon on foreign missions, an unusually large contribution was taken up. in the afternoon, he listened to another sermon, by a brother, on home missions, and the subject became so important that he was led closely to agitate the question how much he should himself give to the cause. "i was, indeed, in a great strait between charity and necessity. i felt desirous to contribute; but, there i was, on a journey, and i had given so much in the morning that i really feared i had no more money than would bear my expenses. "the collection was taken; i gave my last dollar, and trusted in the lord to provide. i proceeded on my journey, stopping to see a friend for whom i had collected forty dollars. i was now one hundred and forty miles from home, and how my expenses were to be met, i could not imagine. but, judge my surprise, when, on presenting the money to my friend, he took a hundred dollars, and, adding it to the forty, placed the whole of it in my hand, saying he would make me a present of it. "gratitude and joy swelled my bosom; my mind at once remembered my sacrifice of the day before, and now i had realized the literal fulfillment of the promise, 'give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down and running over, shall men give into your bosom.'" he gave his last $ to the lord. a missionary agent thus relates this incident in the life of a poor physician: "i preached a missionary sermon in the town of -----, and a physician subscribed and paid five dollars. a gentleman standing by told me that the five dollars was all he had, or was worth; that he had lost his property and paid up his debts, and moved into town to commence practicing, with no other resources than that five-dollar bill. he and his wife were obliged to board out, as he was not able to keep house. "i resolved, at once, that i would keep watch of that man, and see what the lord would do with him. about a year after this interview, i visited the place again, and found the physician keeping house in good style. "during the summer, while the cholera raged in the country, by a series of events, guided, as he believes, by the providence of god, most of the practice was thrown into his hands, and he had taken more than $ , ." * * * * * believe nothing of your god but what is most noble and generous.--pres. edwards. * * * * * more things are wrought by prayer than the world dreams of.--tennyson. * * * * * prayers answered in business and social anxieties. help in paying a mortgage. a business man in new york had several large amounts due for payment. an unprecedented series of calls from tradesmen wishing their bills paid sooner than customary, drained his means, and he was satisfied from the situation that his means would not be sufficient to pay them all. his business receipts, at this juncture, fell to one-half what they had usually been. a loan was due at the bank; a mortgage on his property, as well as large notes. he could do no more than ask the lord constantly in prayer, to either send supplies of business, or open ways of relief. committing his cares all to the lord, he endeavored to throw off his burden and with diligence in trade do what was possible for protection. he was greatly surprised when the bank loan fell due to learn that a trifling payment would be acceptable, and the rest extended at his convenience. this was remarkable, as the security had depreciated somewhat, and the loan had been then extended longer than usual. the holder of the mortgage did not call as usual for his interest. in great surprise the tradesman dropped a note, saying he would meet his demand, but if not all the mortgage was needed, its extension would benefit the use of the capital in his business. to his surprise, he received a reply that the mortgage would be extended one-half until the next interest day, and the rest might be paid now if it could be spared. _this was just the money which the tradesman could spare_, and was intending to propose, but refrained from mentioning it. a sudden opportunity in business arose which enabled him to see how to use the rest of the money he had on hand, as capital, whereby he could clear within three months the remainder of the mortgage before it became due. thus the lord in answer to prayer, relieved his necessities, eased his creditors, gave him knowledge and intelligence of profitable ways of trade, and helped him freely according to his faith. thus business needs prayer, as well as the interests of the home, the church and the soul. when the means derived in business is used to bless the lord's poor, "_the lord will deliver him in time of trouble_." a remarkable prayer and its answer. a lady, who had led for many years a life of faith, caring for orphans and invalids, was led one day in thought to wish that she might devote all her money to the work of the lord, and use it specially for one branch of his service which few had ever entered. she possessed only a thousand dollars; and not knowing whether the thought was her own and therefore rash, or whether it came from the lord, she asked the lord in prayer, that if the thought was from _him_ "it might be continually before me; if it were not, that i might cease to think of the matter." "it was kept before me as a privilege, to help me realize a greater personal nearness to god as my father. it was a very important matter, and fearing a mistake, i requested a sign. i asked god, if he wished me to give the money, (which we held at his disposal,) that _he_ would send me _one dollar,_ (no more, no less,) from some individual with whom i had no acquaintance. about three weeks after my request, i attended a prayer-meeting, where about a dozen ladies were gathered. after the meeting, an elderly lady i had never seen before, put something in my hand saying, '_you will not be offended, dear, will you?_' when i looked at the money, i found that it _was just one dollar_, my token. i exclaimed, mentally, dear lord, do not let me ever doubt thee again. i afterwards asked the lady why she gave me the dollar. she said, 'before i went to the prayer-meeting, i felt that i ought to take a dollar with me, and when i saw you, i felt that you were the one i should give it to.'" "nearly five years have passed since then, when i gave all, and my purse has never been empty. i have been constantly occupied in work of love, and my father has sweetly cared for me in every respect." this lady in her faith work has had under her constant care as many as twenty-two helpless invalids, of utter poverty, yet prayer has always brought them needed supplies, and the lord has kept them. recovery from insanity. a most remarkable case of recovery from insanity is given by president william m. brooks, of tabor college, iowa. "a young lady of my acquaintance, of a finished education, lost her reason in the winter of - , and in august, , was placed in the institution for the insane, at mt. pleasant, ia. no encouragement was given of her recovery, and a year later, when her father visited her, in june, , she appeared so badly, that he said it would be a relief to know that she was dead. soon after, mrs. h., the wife of a baptist minister, who had long known and loved her, being shut up for days in a dark room, because of inflamed eyes, felt drawn out in special prayer in her behalf, and finally sent for the father and told him of her exercises, and of the assurance gained that his daughter would be fully restored. "in a few days, came news of a sudden change for the better, and in a little over two months she returned home well, and is now teaching with all her powers in full vigor. "the acting superintendent of the hospital, who is not a professed christian, and who knew nothing of the prayers referred to, said that when the change occurred there was not a case among the five hundred inmates of which he had less hope, and that it was the most remarkable case of recovery which he had known during the eight years of his connection with the hospital." seeking direction in business. a lady clerk employed in an apparently successful business was offered an opportunity in a new business, which, though much smaller and less successful than the first, yet had rich promise in it for the future. the salary promised was the same in either case. in doubt, she often waited upon the lord, and asked to be guided,--a whisper in her heart kept saying, "go," "go." constant praying kept it growing stronger and stronger,--at last she decided to go, feeling it was the decision of the lord. she accepted the new position, was pleased, and often declared she never desired to return. the old business in less than three years decreased so that half of the employees were discharged; the rest had their salaries reduced. the new business doubled in its extent, and her salary was increased one-fifth. seeking guidance of the lord. a school teacher, without family or a special home, in new york city, asked the lord for direction in finding a home, and prayed often that the way might be made so plain, she might acknowledge his hand, and understand his direction. soon it transpired, in taking lunch at a restaurant kept by a man and his wife, that they advised her to choose a certain family hotel. she did so, and found in time more friends and acquaintances, and a pleasanter home than she ever possessed before. she also gained new scholars to her school. sufficient to pay for her living. was she not fully answered? "_they that seek the lord shall not want any good thing_." saved from cholera. the rev. j.b. waterbury relates several incidents which prove the power of prayer. "in the year he was compelled by pulmonary symptoms, to leave his field of ministerial labor in one of the eastern cities, and travel south, hoping that a milder climate might be favorable. "he had not proceeded far, before the cholera, that fearful scourge, made its appearance in the states, and obliged him to rejoin his family in the city of brooklyn. "whilst many were dying around him, _his health_ continued to improve; so that with the disappearance of the epidemic he found himself sufficiently restored to venture, if providence should open the door, to resume his ministerial work. "but where should he go? the future, to human view, was shrouded in uncertainty. in so important a matter, affecting his usefulness and happiness, there was nothing left, but to give himself to prayer. his faith in that promise, 'in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he will direct thy paths,' led him to pray without ceasing, 'lord, what wilt thou have me to do.'" on a certain day, when the burden lay heavily upon his heart, he retired as usual, to implore light and guidance. he read on that occasion, the chapter of acts where, by divine direction, cornelius the centurion sent messengers to peter at joppa, to come to him with the gospel. the apostle, meanwhile; is instructed by a vision to go to cornelius. the case was so applicable to the circumstances that the writer was led to cry mightily to god for light to be shed also upon _his_ path. while thus praying the door-bell rang, and the servant announced two men who wished to see me. this was somewhat startling. after introducing themselves, they remarked that they had come on a very important errand, viz: to ask my services for a vacant church in which they were officers. "but how is this," i inquired, "how did you know of _me_?" they did not until that very day. but inquiring at the bible house in nassau street if any of the officers of that society knew of a minister who could be recommended to fill their pulpit, now vacant for some months. dr. b., the secretary, answered, "yes, i know a young minister in brooklyn, whom i can recommend, provided his health, which has been delicate, is adequate." so the messenger came inadvertently over to b----, and i was called from my knees to receive their invitation. i promptly responded, "yes, i will go?" for what was i that i could withstand god. a successful and happy ministry of fourteen years, attests the good results of that decision. the aid of the lord in business and social prosperity. the wonderful deliverance of daniel loest. john daniel loest, a celebrated german tradesman of berlin, germany, was, by the aid of the lord, so prospered in his worldly circumstances, that by steady industry, he raised himself to rank with the most respectable tradesmen of berlin, where he kept a well-frequented fringe and trimming shop. he was always benevolent, willing to help others, and both fervent in spirit and constant in prayer, asking the help of the lord in the minutest details of his business. yet there once occurred in his experience a season of severest trial, which demanded his utmost trust and unflinching confidence in god. he seemed almost forsaken, and circumstances almost impossible to overcome. but his deliverance so astonished him that he was lost in wonder at the mysterious way in which the lord helped his business and sent him all that he needed. by means of acquaintances of high social character, whom he fully trusted as good christians, never supposing there could be any degree of hypocrisy, he became security for a christian lady of good property to the amount of _six hundred thalers_. the attorney assured him that there was not a shadow of a risk in going security for her, as her property would be more than ample to cover any claim. months elapsed, and the circumstance forgotten, when mr. loest was most unpleasantly reminded by receiving an order from the court to pay in on the following tuesday the _six hundred thalers_ for which he had become security, under the penalty of execution. he now discovered that he had been designedly mystified, and there was no escape. the six hundred thalers must be paid before the next tuesday. he had just accepted a bill for _three hundred thalers_, to be paid for on the ensuing saturday. and in his first thoughts of his perplexity, he hoped to get out of his dilemma by hurrying to a rich friend to obtain a loan. on his way to his friend's home, he stumbled on another acquaintance who had lent him _four hundred_ thalers on a mere note of hand, and he saluted him with the news that he must try for repayment of that sum on the following friday, as he required it to pay for a parcel of goods which would arrive that day. "you shall have it," said loest, as he hurried on to his friend. the friend was at home, but before loest could speak his errand, he is addressed thus: "it is lucky you came, my friend, for i was just going to send for you, to request you to make provision to pay me back the _five hundred thalers you owe me_, for i must needs have it on wednesday to pay off a mortgage on my house, which has just been called up." "_you shall have it_," replied loest, calmly, yet his heart became heavier every moment. suddenly it occurred to him that the widow of a friend just dead was possessed of large means, and she might be inclined to help him. but alas, disappointment thickened fast upon him. loest owed the deceased friend five hundred thalers for note, and three hundred thalers for goods just delivered. as he entered the room of the widow, she handed him an order from the court of trustees, under which he was bound to pay up _the five hundred thalers on thursday_, and, continued the lady, before the poor man had time to utter a word, "i would earnestly entreat you to pay the other three hundred thalers early on saturday to me, for there are accounts constantly pouring in on me, and the funeral expenses," here her voice faltered. "it shall be cared for," said loest, and he withdrew, not having had opportunity to utter one word as to the business that took him thither. he had failed at every turn; not one thing was for him, all seemed against him. but though the waves surged, and rose, and oppressed, yet they did not overwhelm his hope; the more the discouragements, the greater became his faith that all things were appointed for his good, and thought he could not guess, yet even the trial would result by god's own working hand, to the honor and glory of his great name. yet here was his situation. _six hundred thalers to be paid on tuesday, five hundred on wednesday, five hundred on thursday, four hundred on friday, three hundred saturday morning, and three hundred on saturday afternoon; in all, two thousand six hundred thalers_. it was already the saturday just previous, and his purse contained _only four thalers_. there was only one prospect left, and he went to a rich money lender, and in response to his request for relief in money difficulties, was met with this reply of irony and sarcasm from one who loved to indulge his enmity to the christian faith. "_you in money difficulties, or any difficulties, mr. loest! i cannot believe it; it is altogether impossible! you are at all times and in all places boasting that you have such a rich and loving master! why don't you apply to him now_." and the unseen face could not conceal his pleasure at this opportunity of testing a christian. loest turned away; hard as the random taunt and remark of his opponent was, yet it recalled him to a sense of his duty, and his forgetfulness of the fact that he had not hitherto asked of god for special help in this circumstance. with cheerful steps he hurried home, and in long and imploring prayer, asked for help and forgiveness in this, his neglect of trust in one so rich and generous. he was refreshed and comforted, and the sunday was one of peace and sweetness. he knew and felt assured, "_that the lord would provide_." the eventful week opened, and on monday he arose with a cheerful thought in his heart; ere he had had full time to dress, he noticed with great surprise, that both his sister and the assistant in the store, seemed, notwithstanding the earliness of the hour, to have full as much as they could do in serving customers and making up parcels, and he at once hastened into the shop to give them assistance, and thus it continued all day. _never, in all his experience_, could loest remember such a ceaseless stream of customers as poured, on that memorable monday, into his rather out-of-the-way shop. cooking dinner was out of the question; neither masters nor maid had time for that; coffee and bread, taken by each in turn, served instead of the accustomed meal, and still the customers came and went; still three pairs of hands were in requisition to satisfy their wants. nor was it for new purchasers alone, that money came in. more than one long outstanding account, accompanied by excuses for delayed payment, and assurances that it had not been possible to settle it sooner, enlarged the contents of the till; and the honest-hearted debtor, on whom this unwonted stream of money flowed in, was tempted every minute to call out, "_it is the lord_." at length night came, when loest and his literally worn out assistants, after having poured out their hearts in thankful adoration in family prayer, sat down to the first meal they had that day enjoyed in common. when it was over, the brother and sister set themselves to count over the money which had that day been taken. each hundred thalers was set by itself, and the result showed _six hundred and three thalers, fourteen silver groschen_. this was sufficient to pay the first debt due the next day, and leave but ten shillings and eight pence over, a trifle less than they commenced the day with. loest was lost in wonder and grateful emotion at this gracious testimony of how faithfully his lord could minister to him in his earthly necessities. "how countless must be the host of his ministering servants, seen or unseen, since he can employ some hundreds of them, and send them to buy of daniel loest to-day, or pay him that bill which thou owest. what a wondrous god is ours, who in the government of this great universe, does not overlook my mean affairs, nor forget his gracious promise, 'call upon me in the day of trouble, and i will deliver thee.'" tuesday was a repetition of monday's splendid business, and brought in the five hundred thalers which he needed the next morning to pay off the mortgage of his friend's house, due that day. wednesday's sales gave him five hundred more thalers, which he was obliged to have ready to pay on thursday morning into the court of trustees. thursday's sales brought him four hundred thalers, just the amount he had given promise to pay the next day for goods delivered. and friday's sales gave him just three hundred thalers with which to honor the widow's demand on saturday, to pay funeral and contingent expenses. during these days of wonderful business and deliverances, after each indebtedness was discharged, there still was not left cash in hand a sum exceeding three to five dollars. on saturday morning, after he had sent the three hundred thalers to the widow, he had left precisely two thalers and twenty silver groschen (six shillings eight pence sterling), the smallest balance he had yet had; and what seemed most alarming, the rush to the shop seemed to be entirely over; for while during the five days past, he had had scarcely time to draw his breath from hurry and bustle, he was now left in undisturbed possession of his place. not a single customer appeared. the wants of the vicinity seemed to have come to an end, for not a child even entered to fetch a pennyworth of thread, or a few ells of tape. this utter cessation of trade was as unusual and out of the accustomed shop business, as the extra rush had been. at five o'clock on saturday, was due the debt of three hundred thalers to his scoffing and tantalizing money lender. three o'clock came, and still there was but six shillings eight pence in the till. where was his money to come from? but loest sat still, and "_possessed his soul in patience_" for he knew the lord would choose the best time, and he desired to be found waiting and watching for the lord's coming. the trial was severe. it seemed hopeless, and if it should happen that, the creditor came and went away unsatisfied, his commercial character would be injured, his credit shaken, and his reputation severely suffer. that last hour ran slowly on. at a _quarter to four_, almost the last few moments of painful suspense, a little old woman came in, and asking for mr. loest, said to him half in a whisper, "i live here close by, quite alone, in a cellar, and i have had a few thalers paid me, and now i want to beg of you to be so good as to keep them for me. i have not slept over night since i had them; it is a great charge for a lone woman like me." loest was only too glad to accept the money, and offered interest, which she declined. she hurried back, brought in her money, counted it out on his table, and there _were just three hundred thalers_, six rouleaux of fifty thalers each. _she had scarcely left the house, with her receipt in her pocket, ere the clerk of the creditor with his demand in his hand, rushed into loest's presence. he received his three hundred thalers, and both parted speechless with amazement_. loest was lost in wonder at the marvelous way and exactness of time in which the lord delivered him, while the creditor was astonished thus to find loest's mighty friend had not failed him in his hour of need. thus in one short week, from a beginning of less than five thalers, god had so exactly supplied his business needs that he had paid all his obligations of two thousand six hundred thalers, saved him from failure, saved his honor and good name, and now all was peace. the history of loest and other providences which helped him in his business, are still further given more at length in a little book, "_the believing tradesman_," from the records of the religious tract society of berlin. this sketch illustrates the necessity of looking to god daily for help, and strength, and success, and deliverance in our business occupations as well as the concerns of our soul, and must effectively prove that those who use their business and the means from it to honor the good works of the lord on earth, will be blessed on earth with the favor of the lord. it teaches the sublime lesson that _money and prosperity are gifts from the lord_, and must be considered as such, acknowledged with thankfulness, and used to please the giver. whenever the christian learns to love the gift more than the giver, the lord takes it often away to remind him of his need of dependence upon _him_. but whenever the christian loves the _giver_ because of his gifts, and spends his means again to please his heavenly father, he becomes the father's steward, and his lap is filled with bountiful blessings, such as one finds by true experience, "_the lord is my shepherd, i shall not want_." spurgeon's prayer for money. charles spurgeon relates this incident connected with his ministry: "when the college, of which i am president, had been commenced, for a year or so all my means stayed; my purse was dried up, and i had no other means of carrying it on. in this very house, one sunday evening, i had paid away all i had for the support of my young men for the ministry. there is a dear friend now sitting behind me who knows the truth of what i am saying. i said to him, '_there is nothing left, whatever_.' he said, 'you _have a good banker, sir_.' 'yes,' i said, 'and i should like to draw upon him now, for i have nothing.' 'well,' said he, 'how do you know, have you prayed about it?' 'yes, i have.' 'well, then leave it with him; have you opened your letters?' 'no, i do not open my letters on sundays.' 'well,' said he, 'open them for once.' i did so, and in the first one i opened there was a banker's letter to this effect: 'dear sir, we beg to inform you that a lady, totally unknown to us, has left with us two hundred pounds for you to use in the education of young men.' such a sum has never come since, and it never came before; and i have no more idea than the dead in their graves how it came then, nor from whom it came, but to me it seemed that it came directly from god." the prayer of latimer. the prayers of the martyr, latimer, were very remarkable for their faith. there were three principal matters for which he prayed: . that god would give him grace to stand to his doctrine until death. . that god would of his mercy restore his gospel to england once again, repeating and insisting on these words "once again," as though he had seen god before him, and spoken to him face to face. . that god would preserve elizabeth; with many tears, desiring god to make her a comfort to this comfortless realm of england. all these requests were most fully and graciously answered. a mother's prayers answered. a christian evangelist, whose work has been most singularly blessed, related this incident, how once in the days of his folly and sin, while as yet his course of life ran counter to the fondest wishes and prayers of his mother's heart, he one day asked her the strange question, whether she really believed that he ever would be converted to god. and her answer, inexpressibly touching and instructive, as being the answer of _assured faith_, which could see as yet no signs of the coming of what it so anxiously sought, was, "yes, i believe that you will one day be as eminent as a christian, and an instrument for good, as you have been eminent in sin, and an instrument for evil." in later years the evangelist looked back with admiration to the faith of his mother, and thanked the lord for his gracious answer to her prayers. how the lord rescued him. a wonderful incident is told by dr. s.i. prime among his many facts relating to prayer, as published in _the observer_ and "_the power of prayer_." "a young man held a good position in a large publishing house in this city. he was about thirty years old, a married man, and happy in all the relations of life. the missionary of the church knew him through years of comfort and prosperity. years passed away, and there came a dark place in his life. intemperance, of the most depraved kind, made his career most dreadful. he disappeared, and was not heard from for some time. he separated himself from his family, and from all good. "he was met in boston one day by an old friend, after long years, who noticed a marked difference in his appearance. he approached him, grasped him by the hand and said: "'i am a changed man. i one day got up in the morning, after a night of wakefulness, and thinking over what a wretch i had become, and how wretched i had made my poor wife and children, i resolved to go to the barn, and there all alone, to pray that god would take away utterly forever my accursed thirst for rum, and to pray till i felt answered that my prayer was heard. i went down on my knees, and on them i stayed until i had asked god many times to take away all my appetite for rum and tobacco, and everything else which was displeasing to him, and make me a new creature in christ jesus--a holy, devoted christian man, for the sake of him who died for sinners. i told god that i could not be denied; i could not get up from my knees till i was forgiven and the curse was forever removed. i was in earnest in my prayer. "'i was on my knees two hours, short hours, as they seemed to me; two blessed hours, for i arose from my knees assured that all of the dreadful past was forgiven, and my sins blotted out forever. oh! i tell you, god hears prayer. god has made me a happy man. i left all my appetite in the old barn. in that old barn, i was born again. not one twinge of the old appetite has ever been felt since then.'" jesus keeps me from drinking. a young man arose in the fulton street prayer-meeting one day, and detailed his struggles and triumphs with his appetites. he was a perfect drunkard, helpless, poor; his friends' best efforts to reclaim' him were of no avail. the most solemn vows that he had ever taken, still were unable to hold him up. at last he gave himself up for lost. there seemed no hope for him, and in his despair he wandered away to the ocean shore. he met a young man who showed him a good many favors, and to whom he offered a drink from his flask of liquor. "'no,' said he, 'i never drink intoxicating drink, and i ask the lord jesus to help me never to touch it.' "i looked at him with surprise, and inquired, 'are you a christian?' "'yes, i trust i am,' he answered. "'_and does jesus keep you from drinking intoxicating liquor?'_ "'_he does, and i never wish to touch it_.' "that short answer set me to thinking. in it was revealed a new power. i went home that night and said to myself, as i went, '_how do i know but christ would keep one from drinking if i would ask him_?' "when i got to my room, i thought over my whole case, and then i knelt down and told jesus what a poor, miserable wretch i was; how i had struggled against my appetite, and had always been overcome by it. i told him if he would take the appetite away i would give myself up to him to be his forever, and i would forever love and serve him. i told him that i felt assured that he could help me, and that he would. "now i stand here, and i tell you all most solemnly, _that jesus took me at my word_. he did take away my appetite then and there, so that, from that sacred moment of casting myself on his help, i have not tasted a drop of liquor, nor _desired_ to taste it. _the old appetite is gone_. "the last two weeks have been rich experience of divine goodness and grace." mr. moody's faith, in prayer. a remarkable answer. mr. moody, on his return from england, while conducting a prayer-meeting in northfield, mass., gave this illustration of the power of prayer to subdue the most unlikely cases of sin and unbelief: "there is not a heart so hard that god cannot touch it. while in edinburgh, a man was pointed out to me by a friend who said, 'moody, that man is chairman of the edinburgh infidel club.' so i went and sat down beside him, and said, 'well, my friend, i am glad to see you at this meeting. are you not concerned about your welfare?' he said that he did not believe in a hereafter. i said, 'well, you just get down on your knees and let me pray for you.' "'_i don't believe in prayer_.' "i tried unsuccessfully to get the man down on his knees, and finally knelt down beside him and prayed for him. well, he made a good deal of sport over it, and i met him again many times in edinburgh after that. a year ago last month, while in the north of scotland, i met the man again. placing my hand on his shoulder, i asked, '_hasn't god answered the prayer_?' "he replied, 'there is no god. i am just the same as i always have been. if you believe in a god, and in answer to prayer, do as i told you. try your hand on me.' "'well,' i said, 'god's time will come; there are a great many praying for you; and i have faith to believe you are going to be blessed.' "six months ago i was in liverpool; and there i got a letter from the leading barrister of edinburgh, telling me that my friend, the infidel, had come to christ, and that of his club of thirty men _seventeen_ had followed his example. "how it happened he could not say, but whereas he was once blind, now he could see. god has answered the prayer. '_i didn't know how it was to be answered_,' said mr. moody, '_but i believed it would be and it was done. what we want to do is to come boldly to god_.'" the wonders of a single prayer. the rev. dr. edwin f. hatfield, of new york city, well known and eminent among the clergymen of the presbyterian church, is personally acquainted with the following instance of a remarkable case in answer to prayer. from the mother of the daughter he obtained this statement, which has been published by dr. patton, of chicago, in his volume, "on prayer." "my daughter was for fourteen months afflicted with hip disease. it was brought on by a fall, and a consequent dislocation, when she was eight years of age. "her right side was paralyzed, and she had an abscess. i placed her in a hospital, under the care of good nurses, and the very best medical advice. "everything possible was done for her, but all to no avail; she grew worse instead of better, and the doctors directed me, as there was no hope for her, to take her home to die. "but i did not cease to hope. i did as the doctors directed, but continued to pray the prayer of faith for her recovery for two weeks. one morning, at the end of this period, we were conversing together about the wonderful cures wrought by the savior, when on earth, and particularly that of the man at the pool of bethesda. "in the midst of our conversation, my daughter rose to obtain a drink of water, when she exclaimed, '_mother, i can walk.'_ 'thanks be to god!' said i, 'come, and let me see you!' "her crutches, the only means by which she could move about, before, were now useless. upon examination, i found that the abscess had entirely disappeared, and that the paralyzed limb was restored whole, like the other. "she was again dangerously ill, five months afterward. i prayed for her recovery one night, before retiring, and the next morning she arose, perfectly cured." she is now twenty-one years of age, and during all this intervening time has been free from any trouble of this kind. to-day she is as well as any one, working and running about without the slightest trouble." the tavern keeper overcome. rev. charles g. finney relates, in his "spirit of prayer," of an acquaintance of his whose faith and importunity in prayer and the answer were very remarkable: "in a town in the northern part of the state of new york, where there was a revival, there was a certain individual, who was a most violent and outrageous opposer. he kept a tavern, and used to delight in swearing at a desperate rate, whenever there were christians within hearing, on purpose to hurt their feelings. he was so bad, that one man said he believed he should have to sell his place or give it away, and move out of town, for he could not live near a man that swore so. "this good man of faith and prayer that i have spoken of, was passing through the town and heard the case, and was very much grieved and distressed for the individual. he took him on his praying list. the case weighed on his mind when he was asleep, and when he was awake. he kept thinking about him, and praying for him, for days; and the first we knew of it, this ungodly man came into a meeting, and got up and confessed his sins, and poured out his soul. his barroom immediately became the place where they held prayer-meetings." victories over bad habits, tobacco, opium, etc. the rev. w.h. boole, a city missionary in new york city, has been witness in his ministries, of many cases of complete deliverance from bad habits, and appetites, solely by believing prayer. many are contained in a little tract written by him, "the wonder of grace." he gives a few of these incidents: "one is an officer in a church in new york, who had used tobacco for forty years, making during that time many efforts to abandon the practice, but always failing because of the resultant inward growing. but he was brought to an act of specific faith in jesus, to save him from the appetite, and now, after several years, he testifies, 'from that hour all desire left me, and i have ever since hated, what i once so fondly loved.'" "another is of a prominent church member in brooklyn, n.y., who had used tobacco for thirty years, and could not endure to be without a cigar in his mouth, and sometimes even rose and smoked in the night; after many failures to overcome the habit, one night when alone, he cast himself on his savior for just this victory; and from that hour was delivered from the desire as well as from the outward act, and now wonders that he ever loved the filthy practice." "a certain old lady, who lived near westbrook, conn., aged seventy, was a confirmed opium eater, and used daily, an amount sufficient to kill twenty persons. she was led to see that the habit was a _sin_; and as such, she abandoned it, with specific application to christ to save her from it. she was heard, and lived for two years afterward, free from any desire for that drug." "a similar case was that of a carpenter, in brooklyn, n.y., who, from taking morphine to allay the pain of a fractured leg, fell into its habitual use, till he almost lived upon it for several years after his recovery. he once swallowed, in the presence of several physicians, a dose which it was calculated would destroy the lives of two hundred ordinary men. not long since, he was made to look at this as a sin, and tried to break off the habit, abstaining, with an alarming reaction, till five physicians declared that death would ensue, if he did not resume it. this he did for a year; but then on a certain sunday evening, broke off again, casting himself by faith on christ, from which moment the desire left him, and has never returned, and he has experienced no reaction or other ill effect, but has greatly improved in health." mrs. whitney's cure in answer to prayer. mrs. c.s. whitney of hartford, conn., a lady well known for her christian work among the poor, thus gives in a letter to dr. patton, her personal testimony of the efficacy of prayer: "three years ago, i was healed of a bodily disease. i had been troubled from my birth with canker, and at times suffered greatly. i had consulted some of the best physicians in the land, and had been treated by the most skillful. my case was said to be incurable. when i learned to trust christ for everything, i applied to him for healing. my husband joined with me in this prayer for three weeks; but all the time i was growing worse. i then prayed for entire submission. about the first of october, , my stomach, throat and mouth were so cankered, i could scarcely eat anything. one day, i took up the little book entitled, 'dorothea trudel;' and while reading, i seemed to hear a voice saying unto me, _'all things are possible unto him that believeth.' 'according to thy faith be it unto thee.'_ i claimed the faith, and immediately asked god to heal me, and in his own way. while yet on my knees, it seemed very clear to me that i should go to boston, and ask doctor cullis to pray with me. i obeyed that leading, and made preparations to go the day following. just as i was ready to start for the depot, i realized that i was cured. an entire change was wrought in my system, and my soul was filled with joy and gratitude." president finney's prayer for rain. the following incident of the prayer of president finney for rain, and its immediate answer, is furnished by professor cowles, the intimate friend of president finney: "somewhat more than twenty years ago, the village of oberlin and its adjacent country along the lake shore, suffered severely through the hot season from a total failure of rain, for nearly three months. clouds that seemed to promise rain were repelled from the heated dry atmosphere over the land, and attracted by the more moist atmosphere over the lake, to pour out their waters there. on one such occasion, the clouds had gathered dark, low, and heavy over the lakes, and lay there with no particular indication of rising. president finney walked out with his eye on these clouds. i give the sequel in his own words, as they fell from his lips, less than three months since: "'in this walk i met ralph, who turned sharply upon me. 'mr. finney, i should like to know what you mean in preaching that god is always wise and always good, when you see him pouring out that great rain upon the lake, where it can do no good, and leaving us to suffer so terribly for the want of that wasted water?' "'his words cut me to the heart; i turned, and ran home to my closet, fell on my knees, and told the lord what ralph had been saying about him; and besought him, for the honor of his great name, to confound this caviler, and show forth the glory of his power and the greatness of his love. i pleaded with him that he had encouraged his people to pray for rain, and that now the time seemed to have come for him to show his power in this thing, and his faithfulness as a hearer of prayer. "'before i rose from my knees, there was a sound of a rushing, mighty wind. i looked out, and lo! the heavens were black; that cloud was rolling up, and soon the rain fell in torrents, two full hours.' "the writer, (professor cowles,) himself remembers how that cloud lay over the lake; how it drove him, also, to his closet; and that soon and signally the prayers of that hour came back to us in mighty rain." luther's mighty prayer and prophecy. at one time in the life of luther, there was a critical moment in the affairs of the reformation. bitter persecution prevailed with extraordinary power, and threatened every one. they were the dark days when faith could only cling. there were but few friends to the reformers, and these were of little strength. their enemies were every where strong, proud, arrogant. but luther relied on his god, and at this moment, with his favorite hymn in his heart, "_a strong fortress is our god,_" he went to the lord in prayer, and prayed that omnipotence would come to the help of their weakness. long he wrestled alone with god in his closet, till like jacob he prevailed. then he went into the room, where his family had assembled, with joyous heart and shining face, and raising both hands, and lifting his eyes heavenward, exclaimed, "_we have overcome, we have overcome_." this was astonishing, as there was not the slightest of news which had yet been heard to give them hope of relief. but immediately after that, the welcome tidings came that _the emperor, charles v., had issued his proclamation of "religious toleration in germany_." in luther's prayer was fulfilled the remarkable promise of proverbs, : i. "_the king's heart is in the hand of the lord, as the rivers of water; he turneth it whithersoever he will_." john knox and his prophetical prayer. "john knox was famous for his earnest prayers. queen mary said that she feared his prayers more than she did all the armies of europe. one night, in the days of his bitterest persecution, while he and his friends were praying together, knox spoke out, and declared _that deliverance has come_. he could not tell how. _immediately the_ news came that _queen mary was dead_." melancthon's life saved from death in answer to luther's prayer. the most powerful tribute to the efficacy of prayer, was the answer to luther's prayer which the lord sent. a messenger was sent to luther that melancthon was dying. he found him presenting the usual premonitory symptoms of death. melancthon roused, looked in the face of luther, and said, "o luther, is this you? why don't you let me depart in peace." "_we can't spare you yet, philip_," was the reply, and turning around, he threw himself upon his knees, and wrestled with god for his recovery for upwards of an hour. he went from his knees to the bed, and took his friend by the hand; again he said, "dear luther, why don't you let me depart in peace?" "no, no, philip; we can not spare you yet," was the reply. he then ordered some soup, and when pressed to take it, melancthon declined, again saying, "dear luther, why will you not let me go home and be at rest." "we can not spare you yet, philip," was the reply. he then added, "philip, take this soup, or i will excommunicate you." he took the soup, regained his wonted health, and labored for years afterwards in the cause of the reformation; and when luther returned home he said to his wife with joy, "god gave me my brother melancthon back in direct answer to prayer." in this incident is given this extraordinary statement that while death has really seized a man, who too wished to die, and did not want to live longer on the earth, yet his life was given back to him again in answer to the prayer of faith of another. the wonderful power of faith and trust in the lord to deliver wholly from bad habits. a victim of licentiousness and sensuousness, who often, amid his sinful pleasures, had the memory of christian parents before him, felt his was indeed a life of shame. but the downward steps had destroyed his will, his self-control, his manliness, his virtue. he had no power to resist, all was wickedness, irresolution, constant yielding. in vain he hung back, and tried to save himself from the cursed appetite; at last he realized that in a few weeks' time he must go to the grave; strength could not stand such a waste of life. "what a miserable life. what wicked ways, what wicked thoughts; how i wish i was pure; o, that i might get free; i do not love this sin any more, i don't want it, but i can't stop it. o, i wish i could be a christian, and wholly free." such were his constant thoughts. in mercy, the lord who had been reading his thoughts, sent him a great reverse in business, and in agony of heart, he knew not where to turn but to the lord, and pray for relief. his prayer, too, asked to be emancipated from his wickedness, and his strength and health restored. "_lord, save me and i will_ be thine forever. i am lost unless thou wilt come and save." by gradual degrees, in the absorption of his thoughts over other distresses, his mind was diverted from his usual ways and thoughts of sinful living; gradually the habits of lust grew less and less strong, and finally ceased altogether. but the body still remained under excessive weakness. but faith that the lord who had saved others, could save him too, led him to pray, not only for the destruction of the habit, but entire recovery from its evil effects. his perseverance was persistent, and met with a _triumphant reward_. after a long; time, he felt himself wholly healed. new strength, new life, came back to him. "it seems as if my life had been put back again ten years, and i was young again." "i never have any more wicked thoughts or imaginations, while i was once full of them. since i learned to seek the lord and love his bible, i have never had such peace, or purity. i love the name and tender mercies of my god." if in a few months, prayer saved that man's life, and so wholly changed it from a foul blot to a thing of purity, what can it not do again. _no sin can ever be conquered until in humility either saint or sinner_ gets down upon his knees, and implores the love and power of the lord in _never ceasing prayer_, to wholly emancipate him from the control of the evil habit. _the lord will surely hear it_. he can as truly deliver the body from the most persistent and enchaining habit, as he can wholly convert the mind and heart. the result is not always instantaneous; more often gradual, but _always sure_ if the sufferer _always prays_. it is simple enough for the sinning one to believe that the _lord can_, and seeking the bible _for the lord's own promise that he, will; to cling to it and never surrender_. the sin may be repeated when you can not resist it, and do not desire for it, but take all pains to avoid; still pray though you often fail; still try, still trust the lord to loose your chains and remove your desire, and deliverance is sure to come at last. recovery from paralysis. "between two and three years ago, the writer was struck down by paralysis, disabling entirely the limbs of the left side. in this apparently helpless state, i employed a man to take care of me, and felt that unless god should interpose, i must be a continuous burden on my friends. my kind physician gave me no hope of _entire recovery_. "in this state i made my prayer to god continually, that he would so far restore my strength as to enable me to take care of myself. "this prayer he was pleased to answer, for in eight weeks i dismissed my attendant, finding myself able to take care of myself. i now walk more than half a mile each day, and attend to all the associations of home life. i record with thankfulness this restoration of my disabled frame in answer to prayer." the stolen bonds returned. the _new york observer_ relates a remarkable instance of the return of stolen property, which in its extraordinary way can be accounted for only by the control of a supreme will, and all in answer to prayer. "on february , , united states and railroad bonds and mortgages to the amount of $ , , belonging to edgar h. richards, were stolen from the banking house of james g. king's sons, of this city. no clue whatever to the robbers could be obtained. several parties were arrested on suspicion, but nothing could be proved, and the mystery remained unsolved. "mr. richards, being a member of one of our most prominent churches, made it a subject of constant prayer, that the lord would wholly prevent the thieves from any use of the property and cause it to be returned to him. when asked if he was ever incredulous, he said, 'no, i have never lost my faith in recovering this property. i believe in prayer, and i have made it from the first a subject of prayer, and it will be answered.' "meanwhile some curious influences must have been at work among the thieves, for they acted in an extraordinary manner as follows: "one day last week a stranger, well dressed, modest looking, gentlemanly, walked into the office of elliott f. shepard, esq., one of messrs. king's counsel, and tendered his services for the recovery of the property, asserting he knew nothing about the robbery, nor the thieves, but that he could get the treasure. he was told that a reward would be paid for the capture of the thieves, but he earnestly protested that it was entirely out of his power to obtain any clue to the person or whereabouts of the thief; and no inquiries ever disclosed that this was not a perfectly true statement. indeed, it proved that he had been selected as an agent to do this work, and that there were at least five or six connecting intermediaries between him and the robbers, each exercising that virtue which is called honor among thieves, and which on this occasion proved a wall of adamant to every attempt to pierce it or break it down. "true to his word the stranger caused the delivery at mr. shepard's office, at the appointed hour to a second, of an ordinary pasteboard bandbox, wrapped in newspaper, by the hands of a little boy. he had come in a pelting rain-storm, and part of the newspaper had become torn, and disclosed the blue, unsuspected hat box. the boy knew nothing about it, except that a gentleman had given him a dime in the street to bring the box. "mr. richards being present, opened the bandbox, examined and checked off the contents with one of messrs. king's head clerks, and found every single item of his missing securities, stocks, bonds, mortgages, accounts, bank books, wills, everything. a most remarkable thing! the parties could hardly believe their eyes." mr. moody's answers to prayers. mr. d.l. moody, the evangelist, when a boy, was possessed of an unusual amount of muscular strength and animal spirits, and a strong will that knew little of impossibility or submission. when only six years old, being wistful to do something to help his mother, he was set to drive the cows of a neighboring farmer to and from their mountain pasture. on one occasion, a heavy fence fell upon him from which he could not extricate himself. after trying his utmost and crying as loud as he could for help, but in vain, the thought struck him that god would help him if he asked him. in his own simple language he prayed to his mother's god for help, and made another effort, and succeeded in getting free. this, his first answer to prayer, made a vivid impression on his heart, which gave a decided turn to his opening life. no flour in the house--in the days of famine, his soul shall be satisfied. mr. moody's domestic life has always been a happy one, but in the early days of his marriage, he was very poor, and his faith was often put to the severest tests. one day, on leaving home in his missionary work and labors of love, he remarked to his wife, "i have no money, and the house is without supplies. it looks dark; is it possible that the lord has had enough of me in this mission work, and is going to send me back again to sell boots and shoes." but he prayed. in a day or two, a stranger sent him two checks of $ each--one for himself, and one for his school. on another occasion his wife informed him that they had no flour for the day's use, and asked him to order some on his way. having no money in his possession, he was perplexed how to proceed to raise the required amount; but meeting a person in whose spiritual welfare he was concerned, he forgot all about such sublunary considerations as money and flour, and went heart and soul into the lord's work before him. on his return home at night, he felt somewhat nervous about his reception on account of his not having sent the flour, but to his joyful surprise, he found that on his arrival the table was spread with a bountiful repast. it seems that a friend of his was powerfully impressed that morning, and without seeing the family or knowing anything about their need, had packed up a barrel of flour and sent it. others of his friends, who were interested in his work, and felt confidence in his work, _unknown to him_, selected a new house, and furnished it throughout with every facility for convenience and comfort, and when all was completed invited him and his family to it, and made him a present of the loan of his house, and all its contents. thus the _great helper_ remembered him and answered his daily prayer, "give us this day our daily bread." persevering prayer. at one of the prayer-meetings at the brooklyn tabernacle, mr. moody closed by narrating an instance of persevering prayer by a christian wife for an infidel husband. she resolved to pray for him at noon for eighteen months, and at the expiration of that time, her knocking not having been responded to, she exclaimed, "_lord, i will pray for him, every day, and at all hours, as long as life lasts_." that day the lord heard her knock, and gave her the desire of her heart, in the conversion of her husband. when the lord saw her faith would not give up, he sent the answer immediately. noah's prayer.--he did not get discouraged. the life of faith and the necessity of uncompromising hold on the promise's, expecting their fulfillment, is admirably explained in the illustration of noah's prayer. one day mr. moody was much discouraged, and it was as dark a sabbath as ever he had, and a friend suggested to him to study the life of noah. "i got out my bible, and the thought came over me, 'here is a man who labored and talked a hundred years, and didn't succeed; didn't get a convert notwithstanding all his efforts, all his prayers, but he didn't get discouraged.' "but he took god at his word; he worked right on; he prayed right on; and he waited god's time. and, my friends, from that time, i have never been discouraged. whenever i think of him, it lifts me up out of the darkness into the light. don't get discouraged." the lesson of noah's life is briefly this: he never converted a soul outside of his own family. that was the work god gave him to do, and he prayed and waited and worked, and never gave up, and he was saved and all his family with him. so every christian must recognize that his field is not far off, but right around him, in his house, among his friends, working, praying, waiting, but never getting discouraged. the lord will never fail those who "_abide in him_." samuel hick's prayer for rain. samuel hick was one of the men of "_mighty faith_" in the lord, and as a preacher among the methodists of england. he was of great eminence for his happy spirit, remarkable trust, powerful and practical preaching, and unbounded liberality. among the many incidents connected with his life of faith, we quote a few to illustrate with what simplicity he expected always an answer to his prayer, and was not satisfied until he got it: in the course of a summer of excessive drought a few years back, when the grain suffered greatly, and many of the cattle, especially in lincolnshire, died. samuel hick was much affected. he visited knaresborough, at which place he preached on the lord's day. remaining in the town and neighborhood over the sabbath, he appeared extremely restless in the house in which he resided, during the whole of monday. he spoke but little--was full of thought, now praying, now walking about the room, next sitting in a crouching posture--then suddenly starting up and going to the door, turning his eyes toward heaven, as if looking for some celestial phenomenon, when he would return again, groan in spirit, and resume his seat. the family, being impressed with his movements, asked him whether there was anything the matter with him or whether he expected any person, as the occasion of his going to the door so frequently. "bless you bairns," was his reply, "do you not recollect that i was praying for rain last night in the pulpit, and what will the infidel at knaresborough think if it do not come; if my lord should fail me, and not stand by me." but it must have time; it can not be here yet; it has to come from the sea. neither can it be seen at first. the prophet only saw a bit of cloud like a man's hand. by and by it spread along the sky. i am looking for an answer to my prayer, but it must have time. he continued in the same unsettled state, occasionally going out, and looking with intensity on the pure azure over his head; for _a more unclouded sky was rarely ever seen_. contrary to all external signs of rain, and contrary to the expectations of all, except himself, the sky became overcast toward evening, and the clouds dropped the fullness of a shower upon the earth. his very soul seemed to drink in the falling drops. the family grouped around him, like children around their father, while he gave out his favorite hymn, "_i'll praise my maker while i've breath_;" "and after singing it with a countenance all a-glow, through the sunshine of heaven upon his soul, he knelt down and prayed. all were overpowered; it was a season of refreshing from the presence of the lord. his biographer says of him: "samuel had no weather glass upon which to look except the bible, in which he was taught to believe, and expect _that_ for which he prayed; nothing on which he could depend but god, and _his faith_ was set in god for _rain_." praying for the wind to come. a remarkable incident, showing how god makes the winds to obey him in obedience to the prayer of his righteous ones, and the expectations of their faith, occurred also in samuel hick's life, which is really an astonishing proof of god's supernatural power. a church gathering was to take place at micklefleld, and samuel had promised two loads of corn for their use. the day fixed drew near, but there was no flour in the house, and the wind-mills, in consequence of a long calm, stretched out their arms in vain to catch the rising breezes. in the midst of this death-like quiet, samuel carried his corn to the mill nearest his own residence, and requested the miller to unfurl his sails. the miller objected, stating that there was "no wind." samuel, on the other hand, continued to urge his request, saying, "_i will go and pray while you spread the cloth._" more with a view of gratifying the applicant than of any faith he had, the man stretched his canvas. _no sooner had he done this than, to his utter astonishment, a fine breeze sprung up, the fans whirled around, the corn was converted into meal, and samuel returned with his burden rejoicing,_ and had everything in readiness for the festival. in the mean time, a neighbor who had seen the fan in vigorous motion, took also some corn to be ground; but the wind had dropped, and the miller remarked to him, "you must send for sammy hick to pray for the wind to blow again." snails in the ark. to many who with despondency protest that they have not faith enough, get along so slow, are too weak, &c, the following sharp retort of hick will prove a bright lining to their dark cloud of failing, and lead them to plod on in prayer. "to a gentleman laboring under great nervous depression, whom he had visited, and who was moving along the streets as though he was apprehensive that every step would shake his system in pieces, he was rendered singularly useful. they met, and samuel, having a deeper interest in the soul than the body, asked: 'well, how are you getting on your way to heaven.'" the poor invalid, in a dejected, half desponding tone, replied, "but slowly i fear," intimating that he was creeping along only at a poor pace. "why bless you bairn," returned samuel, "_there were snails in the ark_." the reply was so earnest, so unexpected, and met the dispirited man so immediately on his own ground, that the temptation broke away, and he was out of his depression. it was a resurrection to his feelings, inferring that if the snail reached the ark and was saved, he too, "faint yet pursuing," might gain admission into heaven. he gave all the money he had. at one time he attended a missionary meeting near harrowgate. "we had a blessed meeting," said samuel, "i was very happy and gave all the money i had in my pocket." after the meeting was concluded, he mounted his horse to return home. no one had offered to pay his expenses--he had not a farthing in his pocket. advanced in life--a slow rider, and not a very sprightly horse--in the night--alone--twenty miles from home. think of the lonesomeness; the time for the tempter to come and lead him to distrust in his lord. but he struggled; the trial was short and the victory complete, for, said he, "devil, i never stuck fast yet." just as he entered harewood, a gentleman took his horse by the bridle, asked him where he had been, talked with him long, and to whom samuel's talk was a wonderful consolation. said sammy: "i have not wanted for any good thing, and could always pray with job, 'the lord gave and the lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the lord.'" the gentleman asked, "can you read?" "yes," returned samuel. "then," replied the gentleman, holding a piece of paper in his hand, which was rendered visible by the glimmering light of the stars, "there is a five pound note for you. you love god and his cause, and i believe you will never want." and sammy said, "i cried for joy. this was a fair salvation from the lord. when i got home, i told my wife. she burst into tears, and we praised the lord together," and he added: "you see, we never give to the lord but he gives in return." "the lord will provide." a poor but pious widow in boston, in her eighty-seventh year, said to a friend, "when i was left a widow with three little children, i was brought into such extremity that they were crying for bread, and i had nothing for them to eat. as i arose on a sabbath morning, i knew not what to do but to ask my heavenly father to feed my little ones, and commit myself and them to his care. "i then went out to the well to get a pail of water, and saw on the ground a six cent piece, which i took up; and learning that it did not belong to any of those who lived in the same house with me, i thought i might take it to feed my famishing children. though it was a sabbath morning, i felt that it would be right to go to a baker who lived in the neighborhood, tell him our circumstances, and buy bread with the money providence had thus cast in my way. the baker not only did this, but the lord opened his heart to add a bountiful supply; and from that hour to the present, which is nearly fifty years, i have never doubted that _god would take care of his children_." abraham lincoln's faith in prayer. when president lincoln left his home in springfield, ill., february , , on his way to washington, he made the following farewell address to his friends and neighbors: "my friends, no one not in my position can appreciate the sadness i feel at this parting. to this people i owe all i am. here i have lived more than a quarter of a century; here my children were born, and here one of them lies buried. i know not how soon i shall see you again. a duty devolves upon me which is perhaps greater than that which has devolved upon any other man since the days of washington. he would never have succeeded except for the aid of divine providence, upon which he at all times relied. i feel that i cannot succeed without the same divine aid which sustained him, and on the same almighty being i place my reliance for support; and i hope you, my friends, will all pray that i may receive that divine assistance, without which i cannot succeed, but with which success is certain. again, i bid you all an affectionate farewell." that simple but earnest request sent an electric thrill through every christian heart, and without doubt, in response to it, more prayer was offered for him throughout his administration, than for any one who ever before occupied the presidential chair. at a sabbath-school convention in massachusetts, a speaker stated that a friend of his, during an interview with mr. lincoln, asked him if he loved jesus. the president buried his face in his handkerchief and wept. he then said, "when i left home to take this chair of state, i requested my countrymen to pray for me. i was not then a christian. when my son died--the severest trial of my life--i was not a christian. but when i went to gettysburg, and looked upon the graves of our dead heroes who had fallen in defense, of their country, i then and there consecrated myself to christ. _i do love jesus."_ rev. mr. adams, of philadelphia, stated in his thanksgiving sermon that, having an appointment to meet the president at o'clock in the morning, he went a quarter of an hour before the time. while waiting for the hour, he heard a voice in the next room as if in grave conversation, and asked the servant, "who is talking in the next room?" "it is the president, sir." "is anybody with him?" "no, sir; he is reading the bible." "is that his habit so early in the morning?" "yes, sir. he spends every morning, from o'clock to , in reading the scriptures and praying." _it was the lord who guided the mind of mr. lincoln in his extraordinary act of the emancipation of the slaves of america._ the lord had prepared it, and chose him as the means whereby to accomplish it. _were not his prayers and efforts specially blessed by the lord in wisdom, for the guidance of our nation_? extraordinary care of the lord in answer to prayer. "the scenes of the riots in new york, at the time of our civil war, are of national celebrity; but few, however, know that one of the most atrocious acts of cruelty attempted to be perpetrated by the malefactors, and which utterly failed of its purpose, _came solely in answer to prayer_. on the first day of the mob, however, several thousand men, _women and children_, armed with clubs and brickbats, suddenly appeared at the door of the colored orphan asylum, and effected an entrance by breaking down the front door with an axe. the building was soon fired in ten or fifteen places, and the work of destruction was accomplished in twenty minutes. "there were at the time two hundred and twenty-three children in the building with their attendants and teachers. the matron having assembled all the children after the first alarm, one of the teachers thus addressed them: 'children, do you believe that almighty god can deliver you from a mob?' the reply was promptly made in the affirmative. 'then,' said she, 'i wish you now to pray silently to god to protect you from this mob. i believe that he is able and will do it. pray earnestly to him, and when i give the signal, go in order, without noise, to the dining-room.' at this every head was instantly bowed in prayer, such prayer as is not frequently offered, the silent, earnest supplication of terrified and persecuted little children. when, at the sound of the bell, their heads were raised, the teacher said the tears were streaming, but not a sound, not even a sob, was to be heard. they then quietly went down stairs and through the halls, and she remarked that 'to her dying day she should never forget the scene;' the few moments of eloquent silence, the streaming noiseless tears, the funereal march through the halls, the yells and the horrible sounds which were nearer and nearer approaching. _not one of these helpless innocents was injured in the least_; but in spite of the threats and the blood-thirstiness of the rioters, through whom they were obliged to pass, all were removed unmolested to a place of safety." a remarkable decision by a jury. "in one of our northern cities, a trial at law took place between a christian and an infidel. the latter had sued the former for a heavy sum, falsely alleging his promise to pay it for some stocks which he claimed to have sold him. the christian admitted an offer of the stock, but protested that so far from promising the sum demanded, he had steadily refused to make any trade whatever with the plaintiff. each of the parties to the suit had a friend who fully corroborated their assertions. thus the case went before the jury for decision. "the charge of the judge was stern and significant. 'it was a grave and most painful task which devolved upon him to instruct the jurors that one of the parties before them must be guilty of deliberate and willful perjury. their statements were wholly irreconcilable with each other; nay more, were diametrically opposite; and that either were innocently mistaken in their assertions was impossible. "'your verdict, gentlemen,' he said in conclusion, 'must decide upon which side this awful and heaven-daring iniquity belongs. the god of truth help you to find the truth, that the innocent suffer not.' "it was late in the day when the judge's charge was given, and the finding of the jury was to be rendered in the morning. the plaintiff went carelessly from the court arm in arm with the wicked associate whom he had bribed to swear falsely on his behalf. the defendant and his friend walked away together in painful silence. when the christian reached his home, he told his family of the judge's solemn charge and of the grave responsibility which rested upon the jurors. 'they are to decide which of us has perjured ourselves on this trial,' he said; 'and how terrible a thing for me if they should be mistaken in their judgment. there is so little of any thing tangible for their decision to rest upon, that it seems to me as if a breath might blow it either way. they cannot see our hearts, and i feel as if, only god could enable them to discern the truth. let us spend the evening in prayer that he may give them a clear vision.'" the twelve jurymen ate their supper in perplexed silence, and were shut in their room for deliberation and consultation. "i never sat in such a case before," said the foreman. "the plaintiff and defendant have sworn point-blank against each other; and how we are to tell which speaks the truth, i can not see. i should not like to make a mistake in the matter; it would be a sad affair to convict an innocent man of perjury." again there was silence among them, as if each were weighing the case in his own mind. "_for myself_ i feel as if the truth must be with the defendant; i am constrained to think that he is an honest man. what say you, gentlemen?" _every hand was raised in affirmation of this opinion_. they were fully persuaded of its truth, and _gave a unanimous verdict accordingly._ thus the christian man was rightfully acquitted, and gave thanks to god, with a new and stronger confidence in the power of prayer. "call upon me in the day of trouble; i will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me," saith the lord. that wonderful $ . another evidence of the ever-present spirit of god. the following incident is marvelous, as at the time of its occurrence neither party had ever been known to each other: in _new haven, conn._, lives a little invalid widow, almost helpless, with no one upon whom to rely for support, and only indebted to friendly acquaintances for a temporary home. with no money, no acquaintances, she had nowhere else to turn to but to the father of all good. she had prayed often, and often had answers, but this time, though needing money, still she received none. the answer was long delayed; she was almost discouraged. "_was god at last to fail and forget her? no, it could not be. let god be true even if i perish, i shall still cling to him. i can not give him up."_ just at that time a business man in new york, who had been absent on a long journey for the summer and had just returned, happened to pick up a note among many hundred lying on his desk, and noticed that the writer asked for some trifling favor, saying she was poor, had no means. her circumstances were unknown: he knew nothing but her name. he was eager to _minister to the little ones of the lord,_ and felt deeply impressed in prayer that morning, in asking a blessing on his day's labors, that he might be able to help the need of some of "his children" who might then be in want. in his business hours the thought came over him with the depth of emotion, "what can i do? lord, thy servant is ready." just at that moment he picked up this note of the little invalid, who asked the trivial favor, saying it would be such a comfort. _(no money whatever was asked for in this note_.) suddenly the thought came to him, "_perhaps this is my very opportunity. this may be the lord's little one in need_." but there was nothing in the letter to indicate she was a christian. she solicited no money or pecuniary help. immediately there came to his mind, amid floods of tears, "_inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these, my children, ye have done it unto me_." instantly he understood it as a message from the lord, and the intimation of the holy spirit. he immediately sat down and wrote a check for $ , and enclosed it to her, saying, "_i know not your need; you have not asked me for help, but i send you something which may be useful. i trust you are a christian. i shall be happy to learn if it has done good, and made you happy. give me no thanks. the lord's blessing is enough for me_." the letter was sent and forgotten, but a strange presentiment came over the mind of the writer. "_i am afraid i did not direct that letter right_." he sent a second postal card, asking if a letter had been received at her home; if not, to go to her post office and inquire. now notice the wonderful singularity of incident. here is a man sending money, _never asked for, to an unknown person, about whom he knew nothing; then misdirecting his letter_, and then remembering and _sending another message to go and find where the first had gone to. but notice the marvelous result_. the little invalid received the postal card, but not the letter. she sent to the post office, and sure enough there was the first letter with its misdirection. she was _just in time_ to save it from being sent to _another woman of the same name living in another part of the same city_. she opened her letter, and with tears of thankfulness perused this wonderful reply, a marvelous witness to the power of an overruling spirit, who had directed everything. "my heart is full, that god should so answer my simple prayer. i first asked him for $ , then $ , _and then for_ $ . i asked him for $ several times, and was astonished at my boldness, but the amount was so fixed in my mind, _i could not ask for anything else_, and then i humbly trusted it to him, and from that time i thought, i will not name any sum; let it be as he knows my need. and how he has honored my simple faith and trust in these dark days. _your letter contained exactly the $ i prayed for_. i have not had $ . to spend this summer. i have suffered for everything. but through it all i have felt such perfect faith in the lord, that his hand was leading me, even when i could not see a step before me; and that he should move your heart to help me seems so wonderful, so good. i am so glad i can thank you now, but ah, so much "_over there_" where words will express so much more in the beautiful atmosphere of heaven. your letter and kind gift was mailed _the very same day_ that i was praying in great distress and trial. i knew not but that i should be without even a home. my verse was psalms : . o, how i had to pray that day. so day by day i was comforted, and now to-day the answer has come." here, then, is a portion of the story of a sweet life who trusted god, not as a god of the past, nor far off, but ever living, ever present, ever faithful, and believed him _able, willing_, and that he _would help_ her in her daily life. she tried her lord, to prove if his promises were indeed true, and she clung to them to the very last. no one knew her need. no one knew what she was praying for. the stranger did not know anything of her. she had asked money of no one but the lord. hesitant ever, she dared not name any amount of the lord, but that ever present spirit of god guided her heart, made her _fix the amount_, and then touched the heart of the stranger and fixed the amount also in his mind, and then, by his own guidance saved the letter from being lost, and behold! when opened the _prayer of the one and the gift of the other was the same_. what a comfort, what a privilege, then, it is for the true-hearted christian thus to feel, "_there is one who careth for us_." why he failed. a prominent business man failed in the spring of . he had been for years a prominent and consistent member of a christian church. he had even supported a church once almost entirely. nothing was known against his character, _but he failed; he failed in business_. no one knew the reason why, but there it was, _failure_. at last, in moments of bitter repentance before god, he unbosomed himself to his pastor, and said, "_long ago i promised to give the lord one-tenth of all the profits i gained from my business, and while i did so, i was immensely prosperous and successful; never did any one have any such splendid success,--but i forgot my promise, stopped giving, thought that i did not need to spend so much, and i began to invest my means in real estate. when i stopped giving i stopped getting. now all is gone. i lost my all because i did not keep my promise to the lord_." this incident is a practical one, telling how utter is the impossibility of true success, without the aid of the lord, and how absolutely necessary it is to our own peace and comfort of mind to religiously observe one's promises made to god. the bible only too truly tells of the end of those who forget him. "_but jeshurun waxed fat, then he forsook god which made him; and when the lord saw it, he abhorred them, and said, 'i will hide my face from them_.'" "_ye can not prosper; because ye have forsaken the lord_, he _hath also forsaken you." "there shall be desolation; because thou hast forgotten the god of thy salvation, and hast not been mindful of the rock of thy strength_." * * * * * how the lord controls the winds and the waves john easter's prayer. in his "memorials of methodism in virginia," dr. w.w. bennet relates the following incidents in the life of john easter, one of the pioneer ministers who labored there nearly one hundred years ago: he is represented as being the most powerful exhortatory preacher of his day. his faith was transcendent, his appeals irresistible, his prayers like talking with god face to face. perhaps no man has ever been more signally honored of god as an instrument in the conversion of souls. on one of his circuits eighteen hundred members were added to the church in a single year. many thrilling scenes under his preaching yet linger among the people in those counties where he principally labored. a most extraordinary display of his faith was witnessed in brunswick. at merritt's meeting- house a quarterly meeting was in progress, and so vast was the concourse of people from many miles around, that the services were conducted in a beautiful grove near the church. in the midst of the exercises, a heavy cloud arose, and swept rapidly towards the place of worship. from the skirts of the grove the rain could be seen coming on across the fields. the people were in consternation; no house could hold one-third of the multitude, and they were about to scatter in all directions. easter rose in the midst of the confusion--"brethren," cried he at the top of his voice, "be still while i call upon god to stay the clouds, till his word can be preached to perishing sinners." arrested by his voice and manner, they stood between hope and fear. he kneeled down and offered a fervent prayer that god would then stay the rain, that the preaching of his word might go on, and afterwards send refreshing showers. _while he was praying, the angry cloud, as it swiftly rolled up to them, was seen to part asunder in the midst, pass on either side of them, and close again beyond, leaving a space several hundred yards in circumference perfectly dry. the next morning a copious rain fell again, and the fields that had been left dry were well watered_." the hushed tempest. the following circumstance is communicated to _the christian_ by a minister of the editor's acquaintance, as a memorial of god's care for the poor and needy who trust in him: it was about the year , and near the middle of a canadian winter, we had a succession of snowfalls, followed by high winds and severe cold. i was getting ready to haul my winter's stock of wood, for which i had to go two miles over a road running north and south, entirely unprotected from the keen cold west winds that prevail the most of the time in that part of canada during the winter months. the procuring of my winter's supply of wood was no small task for me, for i had very little to do with, and was unable to endure much fatigue, or bear the severe cold. i had, however, succeeded in securing the services of an excellent hand to chop, and help me load, and had also engaged a horse of one neighbor, and a horse and sled of another, and was ready on monday morning to commence my job. monday morning the roads were fair, the day promised well, and my man was off at daybreak to the woods to, have a load ready for me. there had been quite a fall of snow during the night; not enough to do any harm if it only lay still, but should the wind rise, as it had after every snow-fall before, it would make it dreadful for me. soon as possible i harnessed my team, and started. i had not gone a quarter of a mile before it became painfully evident that a repetition of our previous "blows" was impending. the sky was dark and stormy, the wind rose rapidly, and in every direction clouds of the newly fallen snow were beginning to ride on the "wings of the wind," pouring over the fences, and filling the road full! my heart sank within me. what could i do? at this rate, by next morning the roads would be impassable, and it was so cold! besides, if i failed to go on now, it would be very difficult to get my borrowed team together again, and impossible to get my man again; and we could as well live without bread as without wood in a canadian winter. every moment the wind increased. in deep distress, i looked upon the threatening elements, exclaiming over and over, "what shall i do?" i felt then that there was but one thing that i could do, and that was just what poor sinking peter did; and with feelings i imagine something like his, i looked up to god, and cried out, "o, my god, this is more than i am able to bear. lord, help me! the elements are subject to thee; thou boldest the winds in thy fist. if thou wilt speak the word, there will be a great calm. o, for jesus' sake, and for the sake of my little helpless family, let this snow lie still and give me an opportunity of accomplishing this necessary labor comfortably!" i do not think it was above fifteen minutes after i began to call upon the lord before there was a visible change. the wind began to subside, the sky grew calm, and in less than half an hour all was still, and a more pleasant time for wood-hauling than i had that day, i never saw nor desire to see. many others beside me enjoyed the benefit of that "sudden change" of weather, but to them it was only a "nice spell of weather," a "lucky thing;" while to me it was full of sweet and encouraging tokens of the "loving-kindness of the lord." and now, after so many years, i feel impelled to give this imperfect narrative, to encourage others in the day of trouble to call upon the lord; and also, as a tribute of gratitude to him who has "never said to the house of jacob, seek ye my face in vain." praying in fair weather. the ways in which god saves those whom he wishes to deliver from death, are sometimes too wonderful for our understanding. a certain ship was overtaken in a severe and prolonged storm at sea. she had a noble christian man for a captain, and as good a sailor as ever trod the quarter-deck, and he had under him a good and obedient crew. but they could not save the ship; she was too badly strained, her leaks were too great for the pumps, she must go to the bottom. the captain committed them all to the care of the god in whom he put his trust, and made ready to take to their boats. just then a sail was descried, and, by signals of distress, drawn to their relief. all on board were taken off safely and put on the ship, soon after which they saw their own ship go down. now comes the peculiar part. the ship was soon overtaken in a dreadful storm, was cast on her beam ends, and everything seemed to be lost. the passengers were praying, and many of the old seamen were calling on god to save them from the great deep. the captain of the ship had done his best, but could not right the vessel, and all was given up to go down. the captain, whose ship was lost, then asked if he might take his crew and try to right the vessel. "take them, and do what you can," was the reply. he called to his men and told them they must save that ship; he inspired them with confidence, for they knew he was a true man of god. they executed his orders with alacrity and care. they cut away the masts, and cleared away the rigging, and brought all the force they could to right the vessel. god prospered the efforts--the ship righted; they got the pumps at work, rigged a sail, and were finally all saved. it seemed as if it was necessary to put the captain of the first ship and his crew on the second ship, that they might save it and those on board when the terrible storm came. now it was particularly noticed in connection with this deliverance, that the captain of the lost vessel did not make any ado in prayer, or in calling on god, while the storm was raging; and knowing that he was a christian man, they asked him the reason of this. he answered them, _that he did his praying in fair weather; "and then_" said he, _"when the storm comes, i work_." he did not distrust god then, any more than in fair weather; but he knew that god requires man to do all he can to save himself, and praying might lose him his ship, when his own efforts must save it. the rescue from the ville du havre, and the loch earn. a remarkable illustration of god's mysterious way is found in connection with the rescue of some of the passengers of the ill-fated french steamship, ville du havre, which was sunk by a collision with the loch earn, november , , on her voyage from new york to france. after the sinking of the ville du havre, with some two hundred of her passengers, the rest were taken up by the loch earn, from which most of them were afterwards transferred to the trimountain. others remained on board the loch earn, where in consequence of its disabled condition they seemed again in imminent danger of being lost. on the th of december, while mr. d.l. moody was conducting a noonday prayer-meeting in the city of edinburgh, rev. dr. andrew thompson read a letter from a christian lady, the mother of one of these imperiled passengers, which contained the following account: "after the trimountain left them, and they had examined their ship, many a heart failed, and they feared they would never see land again. they could not navigate the vessel, and were left to the mercy of the winds and waves, or rather to the care of him who ruleth wind and waves. vain was the help of man. the wind drove them out of the course of ships, northward. you are aware that two ministers were left on board the loch earn. one, mr. cook, a truly godly man, did all he could to encourage their hearts. every day, at noon, he gathered them together, and earnestly, by prayer, strove to lead them to the savior; and this he continued to do till they reached england. the day before they were rescued they knew that very shortly the ship must go down. the wind had changed, bringing them nearer the track of ships, but they had little hope of being saved. mr. cook told them of his own hope, that death to him would be eternal life, and he urgently entreated them to put their trust in 'him who was mighty to save.' at the same time he told them he had no doubt they would be rescued, that even then a vessel was speeding to save them, that god had answered their prayers, that next day as morning dawned they would see her. that night was one of great anxiety. "as morning dawned every eye was strained to see the promised ship. there truly she was, and the british queen bore down upon them. you may think that with thankful hearts they left the loch earn. one thing is remarkable--_the officer in charge on board the british queen had a most unaccountable feeling that there was something for him to do,_ and _three times during the night he changed the course of the vessel, bearing northward_. he told the watch to keep a sharp lookout for a ship, and immediately on sighting the loch earn bore down upon her. at first he thought she had been abandoned, as she lay helpless in the trough of the sea, but soon they saw her signal of distress. it seems to me a remarkable instance of faith on the one side and a guiding providence on the other. after they were taken on board the pilot-boat that brought them into plymouth, at noon, when they for the last time joined together in prayer, mr. cook read to them the account of paul's shipwreck, showing the similarity of their experience. _'what made that captain change his course against his will?' but the ever present spirit of god"_. the storm made calm. at a sunday morning meeting at repository hall, january , , a christian brother, in illustration of the power and faithfulness of god, and his willingness to hear and answer prayer, related these facts in his own experience. an account of them was subsequently published in the _christian_: "in i was a sailor on board the brig pandora, captain g----, bound from savannah to boston, with a cargo of cotton. when off the coast of virginia, some twenty-five miles distant from chesapeake bay, we encountered a heavy gale. saturday evening, december st, the wind blew gently from the south. on sounding, we found ourselves in thirty fathoms of water. at midnight the wind veered to the eastward, gradually increasing until four o'clock sunday morning, by which time the brig was under close-reefed topsails and foresail. the wind still increasing, every stitch of canvas was taken in, and now the vessel lay helpless and unmanageable in the trough of the sea, not minding her helm at all, while the wind blew a perfect hurricane. the vessel being very light, loaded with cotton, made much leeway, and though we had worn ship four times during the preceding night, hoping, if possible, to weather some shoals which the captain judged were near, and to make chesapeake bay, where we might have a clear beach before us in case the vessel should strand, yet at eight o'clock sunday morning we were in but seventeen fathoms of water. "the gale now increased with fearful violence, waves rising like mountains, and rain and sleet pouring from the dismal clouds. at ten, a.m., being then in fifteen fathoms of water, and drifting rapidly towards the shore, the captain summoned all hands into the cabin to consult about throwing our deck-load overboard, in order to leave us a better chance to secure ourselves to the rigging, and thus save our lives when the vessel should strike, which he judged would be in about half an hour. not a gleam of hope appeared, and here our distress was increased by observing that the captain seemed under the influence of liquor, to which he had probably resorted in order to stifle his fears of approaching death. "the order was given, and we went to work to throw the cotton over, while the captain, frightened and despairing, went into the cabin to drown his fears in drink. seeing the state of things, and believing that shipwreck was imminent, i found two of my shipmates who were christians, and who had prayed daily with me in the forecastle, and i asked them if they had any faith in god now, that he would hear our prayers and deliver us? they both said they had; and i told them to pray, then, that the lord might rebuke the winds and calm the waves. "with an unspeakable mingling of fear and hope we applied ourselves to the task of casting the cotton into the sea, at the same time lifting up earnest and united prayers to god for deliverance from the threatened destruction, occasionally gliding in close contact with each other, and speaking words of hope in each other's ears, and feeling, as we toiled, a blessed confidence that our prayers were not in vain. "it did not seem more than five minutes from the time we commenced to throw the cotton overboard, for we had scarcely tumbled twenty bales into the sea, when we heard a shout from the quarter deck: "'avast heaving cotton overboard! _the wind is coming out from our lee!_ avast there!' "it was the captain's voice, bidding us stay our hands; we obeyed, and looking up we saw him clinging to the rigging, apparently so drunk that he could hardly stand, _while away over our lee-bow we could see blue sky and fair weather_, and _it seemed that in less than ten minutes from the time the hurricane was at its height, the wind had chopped around in shore, and was gently wafting us away from danger, and out into deep water again_. "there were glad souls on board the pandora that day, as she swung around in obedience to the helm, and we laid her course again for our destined port. and some who before had mocked at prayers and blasphemed the god we loved, admitted then that god had answered prayer, and that he had delivered us from death. "and i love to repeat the story to the praise of the lord, who yet lives to hear, and bless, and save his trusting children." no fear of thunder. some years ago a camp-meeting was held in southern indiana. it rained nearly all the time of the meeting. father haven, a man mighty in prayer, rose to preach. just as he announced his text it thundered, and the congregation seemed to be restless and alarmed. the old hero instantly said, "let us engage a moment in prayer." he prayed that god would allow the storm to pass by and not disturb them. after having plead for a few moments he said, "friends, keep your seats; it will not rain one drop here to-day." he commenced to preach, and it thundered again. he repeated his assurance, and thus it continued until the storm-cloud was almost over the encampment. it divided north and south, and passed about a quarter of a mile on either side of them, reunited again and passed on, and not one solitary drop of rain fell on that encampment. the prayer of the pilgrims for rain answered. it is well known that many of the good men who were driven from england to america by persecution in the seventeenth century, had to endure great privations. in the spring of they planted more corn than ever before; but by the time they had done planting, their food was spent. they daily prayed, "give us this day our daily bread;" and in some way or other the prayer was always answered. with a single boat and a net they caught some fish, and when these failed, they dug in the sand for shell-fish. in the month of june their hopes of a harvest were nearly blasted by a drought which withered up their corn and made the grass look like hay. all expected to perish with hunger. in their distress the pilgrims set apart a day of humiliation and prayer, and continued their worship for eight or nine hours. god heard their prayers, and answered them in a way which excited universal admiration. although the morning of that day was clear, and the weather very hot and dry during the whole forenoon, yet before night it began to rain, and gentle showers continued to fall for many days, so that the ground became thoroughly soaked, and the drooping corn revived. the enemies of a god fearing nation. "an answer to prayer," says le clerc, "may be seen by what happened on the coast of holland in the year . the dutch expected an attack from their enemies by sea, and public prayers were ordered for their deliverance. it came to pass that when their enemies waited only for the tide, in order to land, _the tide was retarded, contrary to its usual course, for twelve hours_, so their enemies were obliged to defer the attempt to another opportunity; which they never found, _because a storm, arose afterwards_, and drove them from the coast." changing the course one point. walking across palace square in rio de janeiro, brazil, with an american ship-master, (says a correspondent of the _watchman_) he invited me to accompany him to his hotel. while there he showed me a very large gold medal he had received from the british government for saving a ship's company at sea. the circumstances were these: one night at sea, when it was the captain's "mid-watch,"--the watch from twelve, midnight, till four o'clock in the morning--just before turning in, he gave the officer of the watch the ship's course; the direction in which she was to be steered. while undressing, it was impressed on his mind that he ought to change the course a point; but he could see no reason for the change, as the ship was on the right course for the port of her destination. he turned in and tried to fall asleep, as it was only four hours to his watch; but the impression that he ought to change the ship's course kept him awake. in vain he tried to throw off that impression; and yielding to it, he went on deck and gave the order for the change. on returning to his berth, he was asleep as soon as his head was on the pillow. the next day he sighted a ship in distress, and made sail for her. the ship was in a sinking condition, and he rescued the whole ship's company. shortly after, a gale of wind arose and carried the sinking ship to complete destruction. had not the american captain changed the course of his ship that evening, he would not have come in sight of the ship in distress, and all of the company would have perished. _query_--_what made that captain arise in the middle of the night and, contrary to all science, reason and his own will, change the course of his vessel_, but a _supreme being, whose power he could not resist_, and what made him _exactly_ reach that sinking _ship just in time_. * * * * * the fulton st. prayer meeting. answers to prayer from its history, records and correspondence. the following incidents of prayer and the remarkable answers, have been obtained from the records of the fulton street prayer meeting in new york city. they include both facts which have been related by speakers in their daily meetings, or furnished from the letters of those who have solicited prayer and received the answer to their faith. they are of the utmost diversity of subjects, literally including the "all things" of the bible, and temporal as well as spiritual interests. numerous as the incidents are, which we here give, still they cover only _one-sixtieth_ part of the whole record of the blessed meeting. history can never tell of the wonders done in answer to the prayers of these trusting ones; but faith can rejoice, for here is fulfilled daily those cheerful promises of the lord: "_if ye abide in me and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you." "ask and receive, that your joy may be full_." saved from a life of degradation. "your prayers for my husband have been answered; _on the very day_ i wished your prayers for him, and _before the hour of prayer had expired_" he came into the house, and said, '_i am going to do better_.' he had not been home before for _several weeks_. he was a profane, hard-drinking man. he has since joined the church. 'all hail the power of jesus' name.'" recovery of an invalid. "one year ago, the prayers of this meeting were asked for an invalid who had years of intense suffering before her, unless soon relieved. prayers were offered for her. now we would like to acknowledge the loving-kindness and tender mercy of our god, for, since that time, she has slowly but steadily improved, even under most trying and unfavorable circumstances, and-has now recovered comparative strength." relief in business. "_none of those who trust in him shall be made desolate_." "some three weeks ago, i wrote you, stating that _my business had been a failure_, and asked your prayers that god, in his mercy, would point out a way for me to _provide for my family._ the clouds grew thicker and blacker, but the more earnest were my prayers. _last saturday the lord came to my rescue_, and provided me with the necessities of life, and to-day i wish you to join with me in thanksgiving to almighty god for these favors;--'for he is good; his mercy endureth forever.'" a daughter saved from marriage with a corrupt man. "i pray you give god praise and thanks for his merciful deliverance of my dear daughter from the _evil influence_ of the man to whom she had given her love and promise of marriage. the lord gave her strength and courage to break her engagement, in answer to our earnest prayers. oh, implore _him_ to keep that man out of her path, for he is constantly lying in wait to meet her when she goes out. he wanted her to read bad books, but told her that they were not wrong. he constantly laid temptation in alluring forms before her. to him alone be the thanks for this step she has taken." a skeptic overpowered. "more and more god is pouring out his spirit, gloriously answering your prayers and ours. i have been constantly asking your prayers, and though, for a while, the vision tarried, _yet it has come. the young man_, from a neighborhood where there was _not one christian_, and _he himself scarcely less than a skeptic, is now sitting, in his right mind, at jesus' feet."_ saved from death. "my brother, that lay apparently at the point of death, has been restored to comparative health." an intemperate young man reclaimed. "rejoice with me, and thank god for his gracious answer to prayer. the intemperate young man for whom i requested prayer some months ago, has turned away from his cups, and is earnestly striving to overcome his appetite for strong drink. he is competent to be the means of doing so much good." the conversion of intimate friends. "some time since, i sent request for prayer for the conversion of friends. since then _three_ have united with the church." raised up from death's door. "our former pastor was raised up from death's door, in answer to your prayer. _the doctor gave him up_. he says the lord alone saved him, in answer to prayer. praise his name." the desire of the heart fulfilled. "a few weeks since i sent a request for prayer in my behalf, asking you to pray god very earnestly that he would grant me the desire of my heart, for which i was praying almost unceasingly. _on the evening of the same day_ on which i supposed you would receive my request, _the answer came,_ lifting a great burden from my heart. i send this in acknowledgment of god's loving-kindness to me, and to encourage' every burdened, praying one, to _trust him more_." a poor old sick lady restored. "the poor, sick old lady for whom i requested your prayers some time since, wishes to return thanks to almighty god, for _restoring her health_, and _sending friends_. it is wonderful how your and our requests are answered." a new birth. "give thanks with me. since i wrote you last, our son has given himself to jesus." a church saved from strife. "it is with heartfelt gratitude to god that i write you of answer to your prayer. last spring, i asked your prayers in behalf of our church. it was almost destroyed by a man trying to get into our conference without proper papers, and could not. he then broke up a presbyterian church, and formed another. he gathered a number of our members with him, and tried hard to take our parsonage, but did not succeed. thank god! though we are few, and have had a hard struggle, we still hold our property, our circuit has doubled, god is reviving his work, and is now answering your prayers" reason restored. "last march, i requested you to pray for a dear friend in massachusetts, who was deprived of her reason through sickness and great trouble. _give thanks unto god, she is fully restored."_ "arise and walk." "it will be just one year since jesus came and took me by the hand, and _i arose from what was supposed to be my death-bed_, and _walked to the astonishment of all_. i have not claimed the fullness of the promise, but feel that i may. i prayed god not to heal my body wholly, until i was more patient under my cross." the appetite for strong drink taken away. "sometime ago i wrote to you for my husband. he was _a victim to strong drink_ at that time, but _blessed be god, he has not drank one drop for five months_." spiritual strength. "i feel your prayers; i think i know the day and the hour, for i felt strengthened with strength in my soul." healing of soul and body. "i have reason to rejoice that i have been greatly blessed in answer to your prayers. two young lady friends of mine have been enabled to claim the blessed promise of full salvation, not only to the healing of the soul, _but the body also_. my own experience helped them: on the th of january, last, in answer to constant prayer offered by myself and friends, i arose from what all thought to be my death-bed, and walked all over the house; also many miles on the streets during the next few months. i did not claim the full extent of the promise as i craved only relief from such terrible pain, as was then my portion to bear. i think god in his goodness would have granted full restoration to health, as i was so anxious to work for him, but i pleaded with him _not to heal my body_ until my mind had had the discipline i felt it needed." an intemperate husband saved by prayer. "some three weeks since, i asked you for my intemperate husband, that you would pray that he might be _willing to be saved. he has been made willing to give up the intoxicating cup,_ and says he has _not any desire_ for it. to god be all the praise." religion lost, religion regained. "i wrote you two months since, asking an interest in your prayers for a young man that experienced religion a year ago, but failed to confess christ by uniting with the church. your prayers have been answered. last night my heart was made to rejoice by seeing him confess christ, before the world. he is now happy in the love of jesus, and will he useful and active in the church." drunkards reformed. "return thanks to god for two men signing the pledge, about one month ago, who have been enabled to keep it through great temptation. _they were drunkards for over twenty years_. their reformation was in answer to a praying mother's prayers, and to the prayers for them at your meeting." a hopeless case. "a little less than a year ago, prayers were desired at the fulton street prayer-meeting for a man whose case seemed wholly hopeless. shortly after he gave up drink, and became a christian; is now a happy man, and has a happy family. "please carry this thank offering to god, that he has given us such a savior, and such a way to escape from temptation." a harvest of conversions. "last fall, i wrote you to pray for us. you did pray. the result was a wonderful increase of spiritual life--_fifty conversions."_ a family made happy. "two years ago, i wrote asking your prayers for a dear sister, brothers and nieces. since then, one brother, about sixty, and my two nieces have been converted, and are now rejoicing in a savior's love." the power of the holy spirit "about two years ago we requested your prayers for the holy spirit upon a revival work then in progress in our church." _the lord answered us_ by giving us _over four score souls."_ hearts made glad. "we return most hearty thanks for the answer to prayer given. i wrote more than a year ago last august of our low state. last winter twenty young persons were converted, and continue to work faithfully." given up by man, but rescued by the great physician. "the writer was himself raised up by prayer, from the gates of death, offered by the heart and lips of one who is now a sufferer. _two of the most skillful physicians in the land had given me up_." the story of a wayward life, saved by prayer. "in the last fourteen years i have stood beside the deathbeds of eight who were near and dear to me, and the last words that each spoke to me as they were leaving the world were, "_will you not meet me in heaven_?" i have been a wayward child. eight years ago i became addicted to strong drink. i became a drunkard, which brought my dear old father down to an untimely grave. i made a promise on his death-bed that i would not drink any more, and for six long years i kept that promise, but at last i broke it. i again became a drunkard, which began to tell on my wife. i promised her that i would not drink, but that promise was broken time after time. within this year, in the week of prayer, i attended the prayer-meetings, asked prayers for me, and on the night following, i erected the family altar, which had for four years been neglected, and, thank god, it is there yet. i am now trusting in the promise that _he will not let his children be tempted beyond what they are able to endure_." a wonderful cure. an earnest christian woman who believed the lord greater than any earthly physician, cries, "_o, praise the lord. he hath delivered me in six troubles, and in the seventh he hath not forsaken me_." "and the seventh was the worst. by the help of _eight physicians_, and in answer to prayer, partly of this meeting, a fearful tumor has been taken from me weighing twelve pounds, with three gallons of water in the sack. o, praise the lord, for he is good, and his mercy endureth forever." this case was one of extraordinary risk and apparently impossible achievement; but the lord gave faith to try, and skill to win the victory. no earthly power could have dared the venture. given up. "our pastor, after four months' sickness, preached to us last evening the most solemn sermon i ever heard, and says he was raised up in answer to prayer. the physicians gave him up several times, and say they have never known such an instance of recovery." chains broken at last. "long months, week by week, i have asked you to pray that my husband might be saved from the eternal doom of a drunkard. god has mercifully given him strength to break the fetters that bound him fast." better than we expected. "we asked your prayers; they have been answered. they were answered more and better than we had hoped or dreamed they could be." prayer answered for employment. "a foreigner without means and friendless tried in vain for ten months to succeed in finding some employment. he requested your prayers to god, and _god answered_. in less than eighteen hours a splendid position was offered to him. he and his wife give thanks, and pray that they may devote their lives usefully to the cause of god who has been so good to them." found employment. "god has answered our united prayers, and given employment to his child." an old lady saved from little annoyances. "your prayers have been heard and answered in mercy. the old lady has not been quite so much annoyed. thank god for some peace for the aged one, not able to bear what younger people can, that go out into the world and can find relief. i thank my heavenly father for his loving- kindness and tender mercy for those that cry to him in trouble." insanity dispelled. "i sent a petition months ago, for prayers for an insane husband. your prayers have been answered. he has rapidly recovered." reclaimed. "i must ask you to return thanks with me that your prayers have been answered. an intemperate brother has been reclaimed." restored to health. "one month since, i requested prayer specially for my own family. my oldest son, who was then sick, has been restored to his usual health. '_the prayer of faith hath indeed saved the sick_.'" temptations removed. "some months ago i asked your prayers for a son in college, amid great temptations. i desire to give thanks that those temptations have been removed." the heart of a clergyman turned from thoughts of ambition. "i sent a request to you for a young man, who was called, and eminently fitted for the ministry, but was tempted, by ambition, not to listen to the divine call, and obstacles had hedged his way somewhat. after i requested your prayers in his behalf, this temptation was removed, and nearly one hundred persons were converted in the church which was under his care." a grateful tribute. "for a long time i have been the subject of personal affliction, caused by _two internal tumors_ of the _worst type_. speedy death seemed inevitable; yet there was a little hope that a surgical operation might possibly remove the difficulty and prolong my day. to this hope i clung, submitted to the operation, and it was a success. to the earnest prayers of christian people is due this grateful acknowledgment." was a perfect slave to liquor. "please return _thanks_ to our kind heavenly father for this answer to prayer. all last winter requests were sent in for a gentleman, a perfect slave to liquor. those prayers were answered, and he is attending church regularly, striving to do what is right to please his heavenly master." always answered. "several times in years past i have asked for the prayers of this meeting, and always found them answered." cured of epilepsy. "i wrote you to aid me by your prayers, that my afflicted son, who was troubled with epilepsy, might be cured. thanks be to the heavenly father, he is better." almost lost. "your prayers and mine for my son have been answered. he was almost lost, on the downward road of intemperance. he has now reformed." a situation obtained by prayer. "yesterday i sent a request that god would give me sustaining grace and abiding faith, and in his own good time give me a situation where i might be able to support my family. in that very afternoon, i made a contract of $ , a year. praise the lord." a bountiful blessing. "some time ago i solicited your prayers for a blessing on my services, and _never, in all my life_ before have i been blessed as since that time. 'tis truly wonderful; it has seemed as if i must have become some one else, and that it could not longer be me speaking with such boldness, and apparent success. bless the lord, o my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name." saved from the company of a bad lover. "a week ago i begged you to pray for my daughter, who had given her heart to an unworthy man, praying that god might guide her to see him as he is, and turn her love from him. she is a child of god. in answer, god has caused a rupture between them." away from home, but not away from god. "some weeks since i sent in a request for prayer for my sons who had fallen victims to intemperance and vice. my heart rejoices to-day in the hope that it has. "two who left home, and had gone to distant cities to seek employment, have written me to pray that they may be able to forsake sin in all its forms, and come to christ and be christians. one of them was skeptical when he left home. the one remaining at home has resolved to quit drinking." god always answers believing prayer. "your prayers asked on several occasions have all been graciously answered. return thanks unto the lord that sendeth mercy." the hardest heart yields at last. "several years since your prayers were solicited in behalf of one who seemed given over to hardness of heart and reprobacy of mind. since that time there has been some reform in his life. god only knows how far those prayers have been answered in restraining grace. last week he said to the friend who had solicited your prayers for him, 'i wish you would ask fulton street prayer-meeting to pray again for me. _i believe it did me good._'" up from the lowest depths. "one year ago i wrote you respecting prayer for my husband. he has since been reclaimed from the lowest depths of a drunkard's life, and is now a member of the christian church. thanks be to god, the giver of all good." saved and honored. "almost three years ago i asked you to pray for a young man that was wandering from god. thank god, your and my prayers were answered. he is now an active christian, a superintendent of the sabbath school, and a most zealous member of the young men's christian association of this place." almost persuaded. "some weeks since i requested prayer for a member of this institution who was 'almost persuaded' to be a christian. thanks to our father, and to those who have offered prayer in her behalf, she has been _altogether persuaded_, and has united with the lord's people." answered the same day. "you received a letter yesterday. my husband rose for prayers the same night." oh, how precious. "i wrote five months since for prayers for myself, and i now write to say that i have found my savior very precious to my soul." praying for a pastor. "several months ago i wrote asking you to pray for a feeble church in need of a pastor. since then i am happy to say that this church has been blessed and we now have a pastor." a telegram of prayer. an incident was related at one of the meetings by a clergyman who had written a telegram asking for prayers. god heard it before it was sent. "when we were in switzerland, my daughter was taken very ill, so that the doctor despaired of her life. i felt the need of sympathy and help and prayer, and i made up my mind that i would send a telegraphic dispatch to this meeting, where i had so often united with you in prayer. i wrote the dispatch and was prepared to send it, when all at once there was poured out such a joyful faith and confidence in god on me as i never felt before in all my life, and i fell on my knees in devout thanksgiving for the assurance that god gave me that he had heard and answered our prayers, for we had prayed for that dear daughter's life. there lay the telegram ready to be sent. there i was waiting and praying. in less than half an hour my wife came into the room and said, 'there is a change for the better in our daughter,' and the telegram was never sent, though i believe the writing of it was the prayer that god answered." he did not keep his promise, but god did. a remarkable instance of how god keeps his promises and is faithful, and how man often forgets to keep his, and at last receives deserved punishment for his thanklessness to god, was recently related in the fulton street prayer-meeting. a very urgent case was presented by a friend. he said: "a friend of mine is seeking jesus. a little while ago his only child lay near death. he prayed god to restore her to health, promising to serve the lord for the rest of his life if the child's life was spared. his daughter recovered, but _the man forgot the promise he had made and sought not after god._ in a very little while the child was suddenly taken sick again, and almost as suddenly died. the father remembered his vows, and feels that this is god's solemn warning to him to seek the savior." a double prayer answered. at the fulton street prayer-meeting a number of remarkable cases were related of real answers to prayer for recovery to health, and obtaining of positions. "i must tell you how god has been answering prayer, for his glory and for your encouragement. your prayers were asked for a sick wife. she was thought by the doctors to be beyond recovery, but in response to prayer god spared her life, and she and her husband returned their heartfelt thanks to him. but there was another trouble. the husband had long needed employment, and was in great pecuniary distress. he had been praying for help, beseeching the lord to open up a way for him. but help did not come, and the cloud seemed darker, and the poor man got discouraged. friends begged him to hope on, and not to give up his trust in that god who, in answer to prayer, had raised his sick wife to health. he continued to pray, and on the long, dark night, morning at last dawned. he is now in a good position, and sends a request to friends to thank god with him for this two-fold goodness of the lord. how the lord blessed an old advertisement. "i had another acquaintance who was also greatly distressed. with a wife and family to care for, and all his means gone, and no prospect of employment, he was in trouble indeed. we induced him to present his case for prayer here, as it would encourage him to have others pray for him. then we inserted an advertisement in one of the daily papers, offering his services, hoping the lord would bless the means used and answer prayer. day by day passed, but no response came. some two weeks after the advertisement was inserted, a merchant picked up _an old paper_, and noticing the advertisement, showed it to his partner, remarking, 'why, this is just the man we need.' observing the _old date_ on the paper, his partner said he thought it would be too late to respond; but the trial was made. the man was requested to call, and proved to be just what these merchants had been wishing for, and was very quickly engaged. he feels that the heavenly father who cares for the sparrows, undoubtedly met his need, and that all the circumstances connected with the case were providential." hating the accursed drink. a brother rose in the meeting and said, "i believe it is god's will that i should tell you how he saved me, about two years since. i came into the meeting when it was held in the old church, and was at the time under the influence of liquor. the missionary took me into the gallery and talked with me, and prayed with me, and god heard prayer and saved me. i became a new man in christ, and have lost all appetite for drink; i hate the accursed stuff." a drunkard for thirty years. another told a remarkable story of his life: "i was a drunkard for thirty years, and i tried all kinds of means to get free, but all failed. i pledged myself over and over again, and swore off many a time. at last, jesus met me at the mission meeting, and he saved me. he took away the appetite for drink from me. i am a different man; i am tempted in various ways at times, but when tempted i think of jesus and look to him, and he saves me." the hopeless one brought home. "a pastor related the incident of the conversion of a man who had disgraced his family, and all through drink. all the people in the village where he lived regarded him as a hopeless case. but he was prayed for, and one night in answer to an appeal to those desiring christ to rise, he rose. he soon became a new man, and a steadfast soldier of the cross, completely delivered from his hopeless situation, and all his appetites taken away." "no man can pluck them out of my father's hand." a brother says, "jesus says this, and i rest just there." "a year ago i was in philadelphia. i had resolved not to drink any liquor that day, but my resolution was soon broken. in the evening as i wandered the streets, that voice of god, '_turn ye, turn ye_,' gave me great uneasiness. although i tried hard not to go, yet the spirit was at work within me, and against my will led me to the meetings of the young men's christian association. when the call came for those desiring prayers, i felt that it was my last call, and i pushed forward and rose. friends prayed with me, and that night, as i pleaded for mercy, the burden of my sin was lifted and i was free. christ took the appetite for drink away, and he has kept me ever since, and will keep me to the end, for he says, '_fear not, for i have redeemed thee; i have called thee by thy name; thou art mine_.' oh! i know he won't let me go." answer to prayer in temporal matters. a speaker said at one meeting, "god answers prayer in temporal matters. in a western college, at a time when the last morsels of food had been eaten, and some had to go away from the table empty, four of the number retired to pray, and before they had ceased praying relief came. provisions in large quantities were received, thus verifying the old promise, 'before they call i will answer.'" the lord proved true. "the lord reigns," another exclaimed, "i have proved that during my long life! it has looked dark very often, and i have been in difficult places, but again and again the lord has brought me through triumphantly. i have found the promise true." "trust in the lord, and do good, so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed." a little boy's question. a brother related a touching incident which occurred in brooklyn. "a little boy asked his father at the dinner table, '_papa, why don't you read the bible_?' the father was a passionate man, and was about driving the boy out of his presence, but his anger made the little fellow weep. that brought tears to the mother's eyes, and then the father followed suit. the boy's tears moved him, and the question struck his heart; and father and mother, up to that hour unconverted, were soon on their way to the prayer-meeting, where they found jesus." a little girl's question. a touching little story, with eternal results in it, was told at one of the meetings, illustrating that word of god's book, "a little child shall lead them." "a dress-maker called on a very wealthy lady in a city not far from new york, and took with her her little girl, five years old. the lady took a fancy to the child, and showed her over the house. she expressed great admiration at all she saw, and, particularly attracted by the carpet, said to the lady: 'why, i should think jesus must come here very often, it is such a nice house, and such a beautiful carpet--he must come here very often. he comes to our house, and we have no carpet; i am sure he must come here very often, doesn't he?' the lady not answering, the child repeated the question, when the reply came, with deep emotion, "i am afraid not." the child left, but god's message was delivered. the lady related the incident to her husband in the evening, and both were led to seek the savior. god cared for me. at a meeting a young man in broken english, said: "if any man ought to believe in prayer, i ought to. my friends turned me out of my home, because i was seeking for christ. i was too much christian my landlady said. i told her i wished i was all christian. it was seven o'clock in the evening when she refused to let me come into the house. i went then to the prayer-meeting in water street; we had such a good meeting, that i quite forgot that i had no place to sleep. the services over, i found it was raining fast, and i had no place to which to go. i went back into the room, and kneeling at one of the benches, i begged god to give me a place to rest. i did not go home my usual way that night, but on the way i took i met an old friend, and walking with him to his house he begged me to stay the night, as he did not like to be alone. i staid there that night, though i had never told him of my condition. what was it but an answer to prayer. many a time since has god thus provided for my wants. o friends, let your heart go out, for him, then he will never let you want." the blind can see. said another, "i came here yesterday to ask you to pray for my sister. she has been sick some time, and then she lost her _sight_. i did not get an opportunity to present my request because so many took part; but i thought i would just take my sister's case to jesus, remembering that 'the prayer of faith shall save the sick.' in the afternoon i found her in sad need of sleep. i told her just to look to jesus, because it was written of him, 'so he giveth his beloved sleep.' we prayed together, and i left her in a _profound slumber_, 'this morning when i called on her she could _see me.' friends, the lord does answer prayer." [illustration: on the missouri steamer. page .] onward and upward series plane and plank field & forest-plane & plank-desk & debit cringle & cross-tree-bivouac & battle-sea & shore illustrated lee & shepard boston _the upward and onward series._ plane and plank; or, the mishaps of a mechanic. by oliver optic, author of "young america abroad," "the army and navy stories," "the woodville stories," "the boat-club stories," "the starry flag stories," "the lake-shore series," etc. with fourteen illustrations. boston: lee and shepard. new york: charles t. dillingham. entered, according to act of congress, in the year , by william t. adams, in the office of the librarian of congress, at washington. electrotyped at the boston stereotype foundry, spring lane. to my young friend _george w. hills_ this book is affectionately dedicated. preface. "plane and plank" is the second of the upward and onward series, in which the hero, phil farringford, appears as a mechanic. the events of the story are located on the missouri river and in the city of st. louis. phil learns the trade of a carpenter, and the contrast between a young mechanic of an inquiring mind, earnestly laboring to master his business, and one who feels above his calling, and overvalues his own skill, is presented to the young reader, with the hope that he will accept the lesson. incidentally, in the person and history of phil's father the terrible evils of intemperance are depicted, and the value of christian love and earnest prayer in the reformation of the unfortunate inebriate is exhibited. though the incidents of the hero's career are quite stirring, and some of the situations rather surprising, yet phil is always true to himself; and those who find themselves in sympathy with him cannot possibly be led astray, while they respect his christian principles, reverence the bible, and strive with him to do their whole duty to god and man. harrison square, boston, _june , ._ contents. chapter i. page in which phil makes the acquaintance of mr. leonidas lynchpinne. chapter ii. in which phil meets with his first mishap. chapter iii. in which phil slips off his coat, and retreats in good order. chapter iv. in which phil endeavors to remedy his first mishap. chapter v. in which phil vainly searches for the gracewoods. chapter vi. in which phil wanders about st. louis and has a gleam of hope. chapter vii. in which phil hears from his friends and visits mr. clinch. chapter viii. in which phil goes to work, and meets an old acquaintance. chapter ix. in which phil meets a seedy gentleman by the name of farringford. chapter x. in which phil listens to a very impressive temperance lecture. chapter xi. in which phil takes his father to his new home. chapter xii. in which phil listens to a discussion, and takes part in a struggle. chapter xiii. in which phil has another mishap, and is taken to a police station. chapter xiv. in which phil recovers his money. chapter xv. in which phil produces the relics of his childhood. chapter xvi. in which phil struggles earnestly to reform his father. chapter xvii. in which phil meets the last of the rockwoods. chapter xviii. in which phil calls upon mr. lamar, and does not find him. chapter xix. in which phil finds himself a prisoner in the gamblers' room. chapter xx. in which phil is startled by the sight of a familiar face. chapter xxi. in which phil finds himself sixty-five dollars out. chapter xxii. in which phil returns to the den of the enemy. chapter xxiii. in which phil's meets a pale gentleman with one arm in a sling. chapter xxiv. in which phil meets an old friend, and mr. leonidas lynchpinne comes to grief. chapter xxv. in which phil finds the prospect growing brighter. chapter xxvi. in which phil listens to the confession of his persecutor, and ends plane and plank. plane and plank; or, the mishaps of a mechanic. chapter i. in which phil makes the acquaintance of mr. leonidas lynchpinne. "what do you think you shall do for a living, phil farringford, when you arrive at st. louis?" asked mr. gracewood, as we sat on the hurricane deck of a missouri river steamer. "i don't care much what i do, if i can only get into some mechanical business," i replied. "i want to learn a trade. i don't think i'm very vain when i say that i have about half learned one now." "perhaps you have half learned several," added my excellent friend, with a smile. "i have no doubt you will make a good mechanic, for you are handy in the use of tools; and you have been thrown so much upon your own resources that you are full of expedients." "i am always delighted when i have a difficult job to do. nothing pleases me so much as to study up the means of overcoming an obstacle," i added. "the first qualification for any pursuit is to have a taste for it. you will make a good mechanic." "i am only afraid that after i have learned a trade, i shall not care to work at it." "that won't do," protested mr. gracewood. "you mustn't keep jumping from one thing to another. frequent change is the enemy of progress. you must not be fickle." "but, after i have learned my trade, or rather finished learning it, there will be no more difficulties to overcome." "yes, there will. what trade do you mean to learn?" "the carpenter's, i think." "there may be an infinite variety in the trade." "i know there may be, but there is not. one house must be very much like every other one, i don't think i could be contented to keep doing the same thing over and over again." "if you wish to succeed, you must stick to your trade, phil farringford." "should i stick to it if i can do better at something else?" "you must, at least, be very sure that you can do better at something else." "of course i shall; but, if i learn my trade, i shall always have it to fall back upon." "that is very true; but i wish to impress it upon your mind that fickleness of purpose is fatal to any real success in morals, in science, and in business." our conversation was interrupted by the stopping of the steamer at a wood-yard; for i never lost an opportunity, on those occasions, to take a walk on shore. i was nervously anxious to see everything there was to be seen. all was new and strange; and every day, as the settlements on the banks of the great river increased in number and extent, afforded me a new sensation. as i had been brought up far away from the haunts of civilization, even a house was a curiosity to me; and i gazed with astonishment at the busy scenes which were presented to me in some of the larger towns. at st. joseph we had taken on board quite a number of passengers, and the scene in the cabin had become much livelier than before. the addition was not wholly an improvement, for among the new arrivals were not a few gamblers. from this time the tables were occupied by these blacklegs, and such of the passengers as they could induce to join them in the hazardous sport, from early in the morning until late at night. the parties thus engaged were surrounded by a crowd of curious observers, watching the turnings of the game, and perhaps calculating their own chances if they engaged in the wretched business. i had looked on myself with interest, and when i saw a man put five dollars into his pocket on the turn of a card, i thought it was an easy way to make money; but then i had an opportunity to see that it was just as easy a way to lose it. mr. gracewood had called me away from my position near the table, after the gamblers had commenced their operations, and cautioned me never to play for money at any game. he explained to me the nature of the business, and assured me that the gamblers who had come on board at st. joseph were of the vilest class of men. after his lecture i was not tempted to try my hand with the party at the table. the talk about making and losing money at games of chance introduced the subject of my own finances. i had paid my passage to st. louis, and had besides nearly one hundred dollars in gold in a shot-bag in my pocket. while we were talking, i took out the bag, and counted the pieces, as i had done several times on the passage, to assure myself that my funds were all right. my excellent friend told me i must learn prudence, and that i ought not to exhibit my money, especially while we had so many suspicious characters on board. i was alarmed, and looked around to discover who had observed me. one of the passengers, who had come on board at "st. joe," was promenading the deck, and i had noticed that he passed quite near me several times. he was a young man flashily dressed, but he did not look like a bad man. i put my shot-bag into my pocket, resolved not to show it again, and we continued to discuss the financial question till it led us to the consideration of my future occupation. the wood-yard where the boat stopped was in a lonely region, and it was just sunset when she touched the shore. its location was at the mouth of a stream down which the wood was brought in flatboats, though a young forest was growing in the region around the landing. as it was too damp for his wife and daughter to walk, mr. gracewood would not go on shore, and i went alone. it was a great luxury to stretch one's legs for an hour on the hard ground after living for weeks on the steamer. "how long before you leave?" i asked of the captain, as i went over the plank. "perhaps not till morning," he replied. "do you stay here all night?" "it's going to be foggy, and i don't think we can run down to leavenworth, which is not more than seven miles from here. we should have to lie there till morning if we went on." i was sorry for this, because mrs. gracewood had a friend in the place, where we intended to spend the evening, and i was anxious to see the inside of a civilized house. however, we could make the visit the next day, for the boat was to stay several hours at the town. i went on shore, and several of the passengers did the same. "it's quite smoky on the river," said a young man, coming up to me as we landed. "yes; the captain says he shall probably have to lie here till morning," i replied. "that's too bad," added my companion, the st. joe passenger whom i had observed on the hurricane deck when i was counting my money. "i meant to go to a prayer-meeting in leavenworth this evening." "a prayer-meeting!" i repeated, my interest awakened; for i had heard mr. gracewood speak of such gatherings, though i had never attended one. "when i came up the river three days ago, they were holding them every evening in the chapel; and i am anxious to attend." "i should like to go very much." "i think i shall go as it is," continued the young man, looking at his watch. "how can you go if the boat remains here?" "i can walk. it is not more than three or four miles across the bend of the river." "i should like to go with you very much," i answered. "i should be very glad of your company." "if you will wait a few moments, i will speak to mr. gracewood." he consented to wait, and i hastened to the saloon. when i had stated my desire, mr. gracewood rather objected. "you don't know the person with whom you are going," said he. "i think i can take care of myself, sir. but i don't think there can be any danger in going with a young man who is willing to walk four miles to attend a prayer-meeting." "perhaps not. i should really like to go to one myself." "i don't think there can be any danger," interposed mrs. gracewood. "if we could get a vehicle here, we would all go." "there is the captain. i will ask him if one cannot be obtained," said mr. gracewood. the captain said there was no vehicle suitable to convey a lady, but he would send a party of three in the steamer's boat, if they would pay the expenses of the two oarsmen in leavenworth for the night. "but can't you send five as well as three?" asked mr. gracewood, who did not object to the expense. "the boat is hardly large enough to carry them besides the two oarsmen. i lost my boat going up the river, and i had to take such a one as i could find," replied the captain. "but i would rather walk," i added. "i will meet you in the town." "very well, phil farringford. go to the landing when you arrive, and wait for us." i promised to do so, and joined the young man on the shore. we started immediately for our destination, and passing through the grove of young trees, we reached the open prairie, over which there was a wagon track. "i don't happen to know your name," said my companion. "philip farringford; but my friends call me phil." "farringford; i know a man of that name in st. louis," replied he. "he used to be a large steamboat owner, but he has gone to ruin now." "gone to ruin?" "yes, drank hard, and lost all his property. he is a poor, miserable fellow now." "had he a family?" "he had a wife, but she left him years ago. she was a very pretty woman, they say, though i never saw her." "did you ever hear that he and his wife were on board a steamer which was burned on the upper missouri?" "never did." very likely this man was the owner of the steamer after which i had been named; but it was not probable that he was in any manner related to me. my curiosity was satisfied, or rather my new friend could give me no further information in regard to him. "there was a steamer of that name burned on the missouri about eleven years ago," i added. "well, i was a boy then, and did not come to st. louis till years after." "i should like to ascertain something about that boat, mr.--you didn't tell me your name." "just so; i did not. my name is--my name is lynchpinne," he replied, with some hesitation, so that i wondered whether he had not forgotten his name--"leonidas lynchpinne." i thought it was a queer name, but an instinct of politeness prevented me from saying so. "what do you wish to know in regard to that steamer, phil?" he asked. "some of my relations were on board of her, and i should like to ascertain whether they were saved or not." "farringford will know all about it, if you can catch him when he is sober, which is not very often. i will help you out with it when we get to st. louis." "thank you, mr. lynchpinne. i shall be under very great obligations to you if you can help me." i thought my new friend was a very obliging young man, and i was glad to know him, especially as he was in the habit of attending prayer-meetings. chapter ii. in which phil meets with his first mishap. four miles was a short walk to me, and when we reached leavenworth, i was as fresh as when we started. the town, then in the third year of its existence, had a population of two thousand, and some substantial buildings had already been erected. "where is the landing-place?" i asked, as we entered the town. "it is not far from here," replied mr. lynchpinne. "but that boat won't be here for an hour or two yet." "but i would rather go there at once." "there is no hurry; but we will go down in a few minutes. i want to inquire at what time the prayer-meeting commences." "i will go directly to the landing, if you will tell me the way. i won't keep you waiting, and i will see you at the meeting." "don't be in a hurry. it is only a little past six, and the boat won't arrive for an hour, certainly. i will go down with you in five minutes," persisted my companion. "i would not have my friends wait for me a moment," i added. "we shall have to wait an hour for them. we will go up to the hotel, and engage a room, for we may not find one after the meeting." he conducted me through the principal street of the town, and i gazed with interest at the shops, houses, and people. "how much farther have we to go?" i asked, when i judged that the five minutes had expired. "only a short distance; but we are going towards the river all the time." "we passed a hotel just now." "that is not the one i stop at when i am here. the prices are too high for me. i have money enough, but you know a young man ought to be economical on principle." i thought this was very good logic, and i fully subscribed to it; for, though i had almost a hundred dollars in my pocket, i wished to save as much as possible of it. mr. lynchpinne turned down a cross street, and presently stopped before a large two-story frame house, the lower part of which was a shop of some kind; but it was closed. on the outside of the building there was a flight of stairs leading to the second story. "we will go up here and inquire about the prayer-meeting," said my new friend. "it won't take but a moment." "very well; but don't be long. i will wait here till you come down." "no; come up." "i had just as lief wait here." "but this is the place where we shall sleep. a friend of mine lets out some rooms here to lodgers. we can sleep here for fifty cents each, and it would cost a dollar at the hotel." "all right; you engage a room for both of us." "but come up. if you should want to go to bed before i am ready to come in, you won't be able to find your room, if you don't go and look at it now." i thought we were wasting more time in debating the matter than it would take for me to look at the chamber, and i followed him up the stairs. we entered the building, which was of considerable dimensions. i groped my way, after my friend, through long entries, which were not lighted, until, after turning two corners, he halted and knocked. "who's there?" called a voice from within. "lynch," replied my guide. "lynch is the short of lynchpinne," he added to me. "come in!" i heard the springing of a bolt on the door before it was opened. "go in, phil," said my companion, placing himself behind me, and gently forcing me into the apartment. the room was not more than twelve feet square. the only furniture it contained was a chair and a small toilet-table. the former was placed in one corner, and the latter directly in front of it. "is there to be a prayer-meeting this evening?" asked mr. lynchpinne of the man who sat behind the table. "of course." "at what time?" "half past seven. what have you there?" continued the man behind the table. "a dove who has the yellow." "right; we will begin the meeting now then," added the man, producing a little silver box, open on one side, so that i could see it contained a pack of cards. this was the first intimation i had that anything was wrong. the sight of the cards roused my suspicions, as well they might. i had heard the snap of the bolt as the man locked the door when we entered. i looked about me, and discovered that there were no windows in the room, though there was another door besides that by which we had entered. "put that up," said mr. lynchpinne. "you know that i never gamble." "i thought you wanted to open the meeting." "i don't know what you mean," added my companion, who certainly looked very innocent. "o, you don't!" "of course i don't. my young friend and i must stay in town over night, and we want a room. have you any left, redwood?" "not a room." "can't you find one?" persisted my friend. "everything on this floor is let by the week." "there's the corner room in the attic," said the man who had opened the door when we entered. "show it to them, glynn," added redwood, who appeared to be the proprietor of the establishment. "i know where it is. give me a light, and i won't trouble you," said lynchpinne. glynn opened a door which led to another room, and soon appeared with a rusty iron candlestick, and the stump of a candle, which he lighted. "come, phil, we will see the room," said lynchpinne, when we were in the entry. "what sort of a place is this?" i demanded. "i don't like the looks of it." "nor i," he replied. "i should judge by the looks that redwood gambles." "i think i won't stay here. i don't want to be in a gambling-house." "humph! it will be just the same if you go to the hotel. let us look at the room, at any rate." "you have seen it before." "but i wish you to see it; then, if you don't like to stay here, we will go to the hotel." i followed him up the narrow flight of stairs, and at the end of an entry, which extended the whole length of the building, we entered a chamber. it contained a rude bed, a chair, and a wash-stand. "not very elegant accommodations," said lynchpinne, as we surveyed the room; "but when i can save half a dollar without any real sacrifice of comfort, i do so." "i had as lief sleep here as anywhere," i replied. "wouldn't it have been more economical to stay on board the steamer?" "doubtless it would; but i wanted to come, and so did you. we will do it as cheap as we can--that's all." "i'm satisfied." "then i will put this candle on the chair, with a couple of matches by the side of it, so that we can come in without any assistance." "let us be in a hurry, for i am afraid that boat will get to the landing before we do," i added, impatiently. "you need not concern yourself about her. we shall have to wait half an hour when we get to the river. but i am all ready." "so am i." "i hope you haven't much money about you, phil," said my companion, as he placed the candle on the chair. "i have a little. but why do you say that?" "because there are a great many bad men about these new towns; and some of them would not scruple to rap you over the head for your money. besides, there will be a crowd on the steamboat levee, and we may have our pockets picked. i think i shall hide my money in the bed." suiting the action to the word, he took his wallet from his pocket, and thrust his arm into the bed up to the shoulder. "no one will think of looking there for it," he added, as if thoroughly satisfied with what he had done. "i advise you to do the same." "i don't mean to leave my money here," i replied. "i don't like the looks of the people in this house." "nor i: but they will not think of such a thing as looking into the bed for money. take my advice, phil." "no; i think i can take care of what money i have," i answered. "you haven't been about this region so much as i have, or you wouldn't run any risks," he continued; and i thought he was very persistent about the care of my funds. "that may be, though i think my money will be safer in my pocket than in that bed. but come, mr. lynchpinne. we are wasting our time, and we had better hurry down to the river." "how much money have you, phil?" asked my companion. "i have enough to pay my way for a few days longer," i replied, moving towards the door. "i hate to see a fellow come into a place like this and lose all his money." "you needn't trouble yourself at all about it. if i lose it, i won't blame you, for you have certainly given me abundant warning." "at least put your money in a safe place on your person before we go out." "it's all right," i answered, placing my hand upon my pocket, where the shot-bag which held my funds was deposited. "but hurry up, and let us go to the landing." "is that where you keep your money?" he added. "you are certain to lose it all if you carry it in that pocket. put it inside your vest, and then button your coat." "there is no pocket inside of my vest." "no matter for that. tie it up in your handkerchief, and fasten it to your suspender. do anything with it, except to leave it in that pocket." i rather liked his suggestion, though i was not quite satisfied with the degree of interest he manifested in the safety of my money. i took out the shot-bag, and wrapped it in the handkerchief, and was about to deposit it in the place he had indicated, when, with a sudden spring, he snatched the bag from me, kicked over the chair on which the candle had been placed, and fled from the room. i was in total darkness; but i leaped forward to grapple with the assailant, for i was determined not to lose my money without a struggle to recover it. i was taken wholly by surprise, for i had not suspected that a young man who was in the habit of attending prayer-meetings would be capable of any dishonest act. as i leaped forward to the door, it was closed before me. the villain had made his calculations beforehand, and moved with greater facility than i could. i heard him lock the door upon me, and i immediately realized that i was a prisoner in the strange house. then i understood the nature of my kind friend's solicitude about my funds. he had been laboring all this time to induce me to produce my shot-bag, so that he could snatch it from me. i heard his footsteps in the long entry, as he retreated from the scene of his crime. i took hold of the door, and tried to pull it open; but though it was a sham affair, i did not succeed. if i shouted, i should doubtless call up redwood, or his assistant; and i came to the conclusion that the house was a den of robbers and gamblers. i decided to exercise my skill still further upon the door. chapter iii. in which phil slips off his coat, and retreats in good order. it is scarcely necessary for me to say that i was exceedingly indignant at the trick played upon me by mr. leonidas lynchpinne; and i was not at all comforted by the reflection that he had used the cloak of religion to cover his designs. he had seen me counting my gold on board of the steamer; and the wisdom of mr. gracewood's advice on that occasion had already been demonstrated. if i had not carelessly exhibited the contents of my shot-bag, the unpleasant event which had happened to me could not have occurred. i went to work upon the lock of the door. i have said that i am fond of encountering a difficulty; but i must say that the difficulty of opening that door was an exception to the general rule. i did not enjoy it at all. i fingered over it a while in the dark, with no success, and with no prospect of any, till it occurred to me that the candle and the matches which my companion had placed in the chair were available. i felt about the floor till i found them, and soon had a little light on the subject. the partition was a very superficial piece of work, and i saw that, if i could not spring the bolt of the lock, i could pull the door open. the door did not come within half an inch of the threshold, and there was a space equally wide at the top. i pulled the bottom out with my fingers till i could thrust the handle of my knife in at the side. the door was thin, and sprang easily under the pressure. when i got a fair hold, i pulled it open, tearing out the fastening from the frame of the door. the creaking and cracking produced by the operation amounted to a considerable noise; but i made haste to use the advantage i had gained before any of the villanous occupants of the house discovered me. taking the candle in my hand, i walked through the long entry towards the stairs by which i had come up. but i had gone but half the distance before i discovered the man glynn hastening in the opposite direction. he was a burly fellow, and i suddenly experienced a feeling of regret that i was not on the other side of him, for i was satisfied that any conquest i might gain over him would be by the use of my legs rather than my fists. "what's that noise here?" demanded glynn, halting in the middle of the passage. "i made some noise in opening the door of the room." "lynch says some one is breaking into the rooms. are you the one?" "no; i didn't break in; i broke out. but if you will excuse me, i will go, for i am in a hurry to get to the river." "never saw a rogue yet that was not in a hurry." "what do you mean by that?" i demanded. "some one has been breaking into our rooms, and i only want to catch the fellow that did it." "i am not the fellow." "lynch says you are." "where is lynch?" "gone out; i don't know where. what have you been doing up here?" "i have been robbed of my money by the fellow you call lynch; and i only want to get hold of him," i replied. "that won't go down here," said glynn, shaking his head. "well, i shall go down, any how." "not yet, till i see what you have been about here," added he, as he took me by the wrist, and walked in the direction from which i had just come. fully persuaded that i should make nothing by resistance, i determined to await my opportunity, rather than spend my strength in a useless battle, in which i was liable to have my head broken. he led me to the room i had just left, the door of which was open. the splintered door-frame betrayed my operations at once. "did you do that?" demanded glynn, savagely. "i did." "then you are the chap i've been looking for," said he, squeezing my wrist till the bones crackled. "lynch snatched my money, and then locked me into the room, while he ran away. that's the whole story." "i tell you that won't go down," added glynn, giving me a rude shake. "isn't this the room to which you sent him and me, and didn't you give him the key?" "and didn't you break down this door? that's what i want to know." "i have said that i did; and i have explained the reason of it." "redwood may settle the business to suit himself. come down to the office." he walked me through the long entry, and down the stairs to a room adjoining that we had entered before. glynn explained to the man i had seen with the silver box in his hand, and who was doubtless the proprietor of the house, what had occurred in the attic. "i see," said redwood. "this is a very pretty story; and this boy wants to hurt the reputation of the house by declaring that he has been robbed here. as you say, glynn, that won't go down." "but it is true," i protested. "you know it isn't true. how old are you, boy?" "thirteen." "how much money did you lose?" asked redwood, with an obvious sneer. "nearly a hundred dollars." "in wildcat bank notes, i dare say." "no, sir, in gold." "that's a likely story! boys of thirteen don't travel round much in these times with a hundred dollars in gold in their trousers' pockets." "but i had the money, and i have been robbed in this house." "i don't believe a word of it. but you have been breaking down my doors, and trying to get into my rooms. there isn't much law here, but you shall try on what little there is." "i can prove all i say by my friends on board of the steamer." "it's too late to do anything to-night, glynn. you must keep him till morning. lock him up in no. ." "i'm not going to be locked up in no. ," i protested, my indignation getting the better of my discretion, for i could not help thinking of mr. gracewood and his family fretting and worrying about me all night; and a sense of the injustice to which i was subjected stung me to the soul. "perhaps you are not; but we'll see," replied redwood, with his hand on the knob of the door which opened into the room i had first entered with lynchpinne, and in which i heard voices. "is the man i came with in there?" i asked, pointing to the door. "no; take him round to no. , glynn." "come along, youngster," said the man, as he seized me by the collar of my coat, and dragged me out into the entry. i was powerless in the grasp of the stout fellow, and he led me along the entry till we had almost reached the door by which we had entered the building. at a door on the right, marked no. , in red chalk, my custodian halted. setting his candlestick upon the floor, he applied the key to the door, for he still held me by the collar with one hand. i had no taste whatever for being locked up in no. , which i saw was an inner chamber, like the gambling apartment i had first visited. while glynn was unlocking the door, a piece of strategy occurred to me, which i instantly adopted. like the prudent shipmaster, who is sometimes compelled to cut away a mast to save the ship, i was obliged to sacrifice my coat to obtain my liberty. throwing my arms behind me, i slipped out of the garment, and sprang to the outside door, leaving the coat in the hands of glynn. fortunately the door was ajar, and throwing it open, i fled down the stairs with a celerity which doubtless astonished my burly jailer. "stop, you rascal!" shouted glynn; but, without pausing to consider the polite invitation, i promptly declined it. "the next instant the iron candlestick struck me in the back, but inflicted no damage upon me. it was followed by another missile, which i did not identify, and then by my coat. i do not think the fellow meant to return the garment i needed so much on a cool night; but, having it in his hand, he threw it at me, as he had everything else within his reach. i grasped the coat, and ran down the street, closely pursued by glynn. finding i was attracting the attention of people in the street, two or three of whom attempted to stop me when they saw a man was pursuing me, i turned into a cross street. i ran with my coat on my arm, and soon distanced my clumsy pursuer. i turned several times, but i had no idea where i was or whither i was going, and i soon found myself out on the prairie. [illustration: phil escapes from glynn. page .] no one was near me, and i was satisfied that glynn had abandoned the chase. i put on my coat, and walked leisurely in the direction which i thought would lead me to the river. i was vexed and discouraged at the loss of my money. my first mishap gave me some experience of the disadvantages of civilization, for in the field and forest from which i had come, we had no gamblers, or thieves, except the indians. it would be a very pretty story to tell mr. gracewood, that i had not been smart enough to take care of myself, in spite of my boast to that effect, and that i had lost all my money, except a little change in silver, which i carried in my vest pocket. it was exceedingly awkward and annoying, and i was almost ashamed to meet my excellent friend. i continued to walk, keeping the houses of the town on my left, expecting soon to see the river. but it seemed to me that the longer i walked, the more i did not see it, and the less became the probability that i should see it. in a word, i could not find any river, and i concluded that i was journeying away from it, instead of towards it. the houses on my left diminished in number, and i saw that all the lights were behind me. i thought that, by this time, glynn had given up the chase, and was probably busy in attending to the wants of the gamblers in redwood's den. turning to the left, i walked towards the centre of the town, and soon struck a broad street, which had been laid out, and on which an occasional house had been erected. this course brought me to the middle of the place, and in front of the hotel. i ventured to inquire the way to the river. taking the direction pointed out to me, i reached the landing-place without further difficulty. i found the place where the steamers stopped, but there was no boat to be seen. i visited every point above and below the landing; i inquired in shops and offices, and of everybody i met; but i could not discover the steamer's boat, and no one had seen it or heard of it. it was very strange, and i was perplexed, but not alarmed. a trip of seven miles in a boat, even in the evening, was not a very perilous undertaking, and i was not willing to believe that any accident had happened to my friends. i had seen a clock in one of the stores where i had called, and i knew it was half past eight. the boat must have arrived at least an hour before, if it had come at all; but i had almost reached the conclusion that my friends had abandoned the excursion. but if they had come, mr. gracewood would go to the prayer-meeting, expecting to find me there, and i went in search of such a gathering. chapter iv. in which phil endeavors to remedy his first mishap. i went up to the centre of the town, where i had seen a church; but it was closed, and all its windows were dark. i inquired for the other churches, and visited the rest of them; but i could find no prayer-meeting. those whom i asked had not heard of any meetings. by this time i concluded that i was an idiot to believe that the prayer-meeting was anything but a ruse on the part of mr. leonidas lynchpinne, otherwise lynch, which was probably his true name, and which he had doubtless extended for my especial benefit. i was disgusted, and heartily wished i had not left the steamer. i made up my mind that it was not safe to trust any stranger, even if he said he was in the habit of attending prayer-meetings; but i ought to add that i have always found it safe to trust those who really attend them, and really take an interest in them. i had been duped, deceived, robbed. i wanted my money back, and i was quite as anxious to see lynch as i was mr. gracewood. i walked up to the hotel, and looked at every body i saw in the public rooms, hoping that my fellow-passenger had concluded to pay a dollar for his lodging, instead of fifty cents at the gambling den, which i thought he now could afford to do, with his funds replenished with the contents of my shot-bag. he was not there, and i went over towards the house where i had been robbed. i approached the locality very cautiously, for i was not anxious to confront the burly glynn. i examined the building at a respectful distance, and tried to fix the location of the attic chamber where lynch had plundered me; but i had twisted about so many times in the long entries that i was unable to do so. occasionally a man, or a party of men, went up the steps, and i supposed them to be the lodgers in the house. i watched those who went in and those who came out, in the hope that i might see lynch. i did not see him, and perhaps it was just as well for me that i did not, for, as i felt then, i should certainly have "pitched into him." i could not do anything to help myself. i was tempted to arm myself with a club and go into the lodging-house in search of the rascal who had robbed me; but this would have been very imprudent. it was possible that lynch was still in the house, and that he would occupy the room in the attic. i could not help thinking that redwood was his confederate, and that my money would be shared between them. they seemed to understand each other perfectly, and i recalled the remark of my companion, incomprehensible to me when it was uttered, that i was "a dove with the yellows." a dove is the emblem of innocence, and the yellows i took to be a metaphor, based upon the color of the pieces in my shot-bag. it was clearly more prudent for me to wait till the next morning before i attempted to do anything; and, having satisfied myself of the correctness of my conclusion, i decided to wait, with what patience i could, for the assistance of my friends the next day. the night was advancing, and i had no place to sleep. i had not money enough left to pay even for a cheap lodging; and it was rather cool to camp on the ground without a blanket. but i had a berth on board of the steamer, if i could find my way back to her. i was not so tired that i could not walk four miles. i started for the wood-yard, and, with less difficulty than i expected, i found the road over the prairie. as i trudged along in the darkness, i thought of all the events of the evening. it was a pity that the world contained any such rascals as "mr. leonidas lynchpinne;" but i was confident that the next time i met one of his class i should be a match for him, and would not even go to a prayer-meeting with him. it was possible that this worthy had returned to the steamer, relying upon redwood to retain me till after the steamer had left the town; but i did not depend much upon finding him in his state-room. reaching the wood-yard, i went on board of the steamer. though it was nearly midnight, the gamblers on board were still plying their infamous vocation. i went to the table, and satisfied myself that lynch was not among them. i visited the state-room which mr. gracewood had occupied with me since we left council bluffs, where the number of passengers increased so that i could no longer have a room to myself. he was not there; and there was no light in the room occupied by his wife and daughter. i was not willing to believe they had left the boat till i obtained this evidence. the bar of the steamer was still open, for wherever the gamblers were whiskey was in demand. i asked the bar-keeper where the captain was, and learned that he had retired; but the clerk was still up, and i soon found him, for i wished to ascertain where lynch's room was. "well, phil, you are up late," said the clerk, as i walked up to him; and in the long trip i had become well acquainted with him. "i have been down to leavenworth," i replied. "why did you come back? we shall be there early in the morning." "i had to come back. do you take the names of all the passengers?" "yes; we have to put all the names on the berth list." "is there one by the name of leonidas lynchpinne?" i asked. "certainly not," he replied, laughing. "or any name like it?" "i will look, if you wish." "do, if you please, and i will tell you why i ask." we went to the office, and he examined his list. "lyndon lynch--" "that's the man," i interposed. "lynch. which is his room?" "no. ." "i should like to know whether he is in it, or not," i added. "he came on board at st. joe," said the clerk, as we walked to no. . lynch was not there, and the other occupant of the room was playing cards at the table. i sat down with the clerk, and related to him all the events of the evening. occasionally he smiled, and even laughed when i spoke of going to a prayer-meeting. i felt cheap to think i had been duped so easily, and was a subject for the merriment of the clerk. "you will never see your money again, phil," said he, when i had concluded. "why not? don't they have any law in these civilized regions." "you can have all the law you want when you find your man. this lynch is probably one of these blacklegs. they are miserable scoundrels, who float about everywhere." "but the man who kept the lodging-house was in league with him." "very likely; but it don't appear from your story that he had anything to do with the robbery. your own evidence would acquit him." i did not derive much comfort from the clerk's remarks, though i could not help acknowledging the truth of what he said. however, the loss of a hundred dollars would not ruin me, uncomfortable and inconvenient as it was. i could draw upon mr. gracewood, who had fifteen hundred dollars of my funds in his possession. but i intended to make an effort the next day, while the boat lay at leavenworth, to find lynch, and have him lynched, if possible. "but why did you come back, phil?" continued the clerk. "mr. gracewood and his family went down in the boat." "i couldn't find them, or the boat. i was almost sure they had not started." "they went." "it's very strange i could not find the boat. i inquired of twenty persons, and no one had seen or heard of it. do you suppose anything could have happened to them?" "it is not probable, though of course it is possible. the current of the river is very swift, and the shores are rocky. but they had two of our deck hands with them, and i should say that any accident was next to impossible." i was of his opinion, though i could not help worrying about them. i went to my room and retired. i was very weary; but, though disposed to consider still further the events of the evening, i fell asleep in spite of myself. when i awoke the next morning, the boat was lying at the landing in leavenworth. it was only a little after sunrise, but the hands were busy loading and discharging freight. i hastily dressed myself, wondering how i could have slept so long; but i had walked not less than fifteen miles the preceding evening, and perhaps it was more strange that i waked so early. "have you found the boat, captain?" i asked, with breathless interest, as i hastened to the main deck, where i found the master of the steamer. "no, phil; and i am a good deal worried about your friends," he replied. "why, where are they?" "i have no idea; but i have been up and down the levee from one end of the town to the other, and i can't find the boat. i don't understand it." "i could not find it last night. i asked twenty persons, but no one had seen such a party as i described," i added. "do you know the name of the person they intended to visit?" "i do not. i may have heard it, but i don't remember anything about it." "the boat will not start before noon, and we may hear of them before that time," said the captain. "did you look along the shore as you came down?" i asked. "not particularly; but if they had been on the shore the pilot would have seen them. the clerk told me you lost your money last night, phil." "yes, sir;" and i repeated my story to him. "we will take an officer and visit the house," added the captain. "the sooner we go, the more likely we shall be to find lynch," i suggested. "we will go at once, then." captain davis and i landed, and walked up to the hotel. an officer was procured, and i led the way to the lodging-house. we entered without announcing our visit, and proceeded to the office, as glynn had called the room in front of the gambling den. "so you have come back, youngster," said the burly assistant. "where is the man that calls himself lynch?" demanded the officer. "no such man here," replied glynn. "don't know him." "i suppose not," said the officer, ironically. "what room did you take with him, young man?" he added, turning to me. "i don't know the number, but i can lead you to it." "what's the matter?" asked glynn, innocently. "this young man was robbed in your house last night." "was he really, though?" added the assistant. "you know that he was." "he told me he was, but i didn't believe it. the youngster went to a room with a man, and i heard some one breaking down doors. i caught this youngster up there alone. but if he was robbed, that's another thing," continued glynn, who seemed to have a very proper and wholesome respect for the officer. "i will go up to that room, and see if lynch is there." "you needn't trouble yourself," said the prudent official. "i will go myself." "i'll go up and show you the way." "where is redwood?" "not up yet. i will call him." "no; i will call him myself when i want him." glynn led the way up to the attic, and i was tolerably confident, from his manner, that we should find lynch in the room. we found the door locked, in spite of the damage i had done to it. chapter v. in which phil vainly searches for the gracewoods. "of course you know whether the man we are looking for is in this room or not, glynn," said the officer, when he found that the door was locked. "'pon my word i do not," protested the assistant. "did you let the room to any other person?" "i did; but lynch may occupy it with him, for aught i know. these fellows all run together, and i don't know who are in the rooms. we let them for a dollar a night, and don't care who sleeps in them." the officer knocked at the door, and was promptly answered by a person whose voice did not sound at all like lynch's. my hopes were failing, and i would have taken half my money, and given a receipt in full for the whole, if i could have made such a trade. "open the door," said the officer. even this request was promptly complied with, and we found the bed occupied by only one person. glynn protested that he had not seen lynch since he gave him the key and the light early in the evening; and, whether we believed him or not, we were forced to accept his explanation. we saw redwood afterwards, and he appeared to be as innocent as his immaculate assistant. both of them apologized to me for the rude treatment to which i had been subjected, and declared that they had made a bad mistake in taking me for a house-breaker, since i was now vouched for by no excellent a person as captain davis, of the steamer fawn. if they ever saw lynch again, they would hand him over to the officers of the law. it was for their interest to do so, because the reputation of the house was greatly injured by having a person robbed within it. they would do what they could to recover my money; and if they succeeded, where should they send it? captain davis could not help laughing at this speech, and told me i need not trouble myself to leave any address. both protested that they were in earnest; and certainty their logic was correct, whether they were sincere or not. if the local newspaper stated that a person had been robbed of a hundred dollars at redwood's lodging-house, the fact would deter others from going there, for even gamblers and other fast men would object to having their money stolen. we left the house, and i gave up my money as lost; but i was willing to believe that i had purchased a hundred dollars' worth of wisdom and experience with it, and so i had a fair equivalent. in the street i found the officer was not disposed to abandon the case. he had a reputation to make in that new land; and perhaps it was worth more to him than to me to find the money. i was entirely willing that he should increase his credit as a thief-taker by restoring my property, and i warmly seconded his endeavors. we watched the lodging-house till dinner time, but without seeing any one who looked like lynch. in short, the officer made no progress in establishing a title to the position of chief of police when the office should be created in the new and growing city. i returned to the steamer at the landing, and of course my first inquiries were for mr. gracewood and his family. to my astonishment and grief, not a word had been heard of them. captain davis had caused a thorough search to be made in the town, without obtaining the slightest clew to them. i was amazed, and so were others who were interested in the fate of the absent ones. it was incredible that any calamity had overtaken them by which the whole party had been lost. if the boat had been upset, the deck hands at least could have saved themselves. i forgot all about my money in my anxiety for my friends. i could not believe that they had been lost; it was too sad and too improbable to be considered, and i rejected the supposition. but the mystery weighed heavily upon me. the steamer was ready to proceed on her voyage, and the passengers were grumbling at the delay; but captain davis was unwilling to proceed without the absentees. in the middle of the afternoon he cast off his fasts, when a portion of his passengers, who had not paid their fare, threatened to leave the boat, and take another which was in sight above the town. but, instead of continuing on his way down the river, he headed her up the stream, in order to examine the shores for any signs of the lost family. i was deeply interested in the fate of mr. gracewood, his wife and daughter, for they were really the only friends i had in the world. i had been saved from a burning steamer by old matt rockwood, and was brought up by him in his cabin. i knew nothing of my parents, but old matt had been a father to me, and the coming of mr. gracewood furnished me with a competent instructor in manners, morals, and the various branches of learning. after the death of old matt, my good friend had been strangely joined by his wife and daughter, and i had lived one season with the family. as the winter approached, we had left our home in the wilds of the far west, and were now on our way to st. louis. these events all passed in review through my mind, as i thought of the gracewoods who had so strangely disappeared. old matt rockwood had left a considerable sum of money in his chest, which, with the profits of our farm and wood-yard, amounted to over sixteen hundred dollars, when the accounts were finally settled. fifteen hundred of this sum was in the keeping of mr. gracewood, though i held his note for it, and was in no danger of losing it, though he should never appear again. but i had no selfish thoughts. i was interested only in the safety of my friend and his family. the daughter, pretty ella gracewood, had been my constant friend and companion at the settlement. i had rescued her from the indians who had captured her, and it would have broken my heart to know that any calamity had overtaken her. the fawn went up the river in spite of the grumbling of the passengers. we passed the steamer coming down the stream; but captain davis declared that he should be on his way to st. louis before the other boat could get away from leavenworth. like all other western steamboat masters, he said and did all he could to get and keep his passengers. extending from the mouth of the stream, where our steamer had passed the night, there was a cut-off, through which the boat, with mr. gracewood, had come. the water rushed through it like a sluice, and probably by this time it is the main channel of the river. "stop her!" shouted captain davis to the pilot, as the boat was passing the outlet of this cut-off. "what is it, captain?" i asked, startled by the order, and fearful that he had discovered some evidence of a disaster. "there is an oar," said he, pointing to the shore. i saw the oar, which had washed up on the bank of the river. the boat was run up to the point, and it was identified as one belonging to the missing boat. "that is something towards it," said the captain, as the oar was examined on board. "if they didn't lose the other one they could get along well enough." "perhaps they did lose the other," suggested the mate. "it is not very likely they lost both oars," added captain davis. "do you suppose the boat upset?" i asked, with my heart in my mouth. "certainly not. if it did we should have found the boat, or heard from the men. the whole party could not have been drowned in a narrow place like that," replied the captain, confidently. "what do you think has become of them?" i continued. "nothing worse than being carried down the river could have happened to them. i'm sure of that. it's absurd to think that three men should be lost in a stream not a hundred feet wide. go ahead, pilot!" shouted the captain. "down stream?" asked the man at the wheel. "yes; we shall pick up the party somewhere below." the fawn came about, and to the great satisfaction of the growling portion of her passengers, resumed her voyage down the river. i did the best i could to convince myself that no catastrophe had overtaken my friends. when we came to leavenworth, we found that the steamer we had passed--whose name was the daylight--was not there. if she had stopped at all, she had not remained there more than a few minutes. captain davis was annoyed at this circumstance, for she would take the passengers and freight that were waiting at the various points on the river below, which would otherwise have been taken by the fawn. i saw him go down to the main deck, where the furnaces and boilers were located, and in a short time i was conscious that they were crowding the boat up to her highest speed. a race had commenced, not so much to ascertain which of the two boats was the fastest, as to obtain the freight and passengers that were awaiting transportation at the towns below us. i felt no interest in the trial of speed, which at another time might have afforded me a pleasant excitement. from the hurricane deck i watched the shores, to obtain any tidings of the missing boat or her passengers. at delaware city the daylight made a landing; but the fawn, to my surprise and chagrin, did not stop. it was possible that the gracewoods had been carried down to this point in their unmanageable boat, and had landed here. "why don't you make a landing here? captain davis?" i inquired. "because the daylight has gone in ahead of me, and i shall get no freight or passengers if i don't keep ahead of her." "but mr. gracewood and his family may be here." "it is not improbable. i feel that i have done all i could for them." "you might stop." "i can't sacrifice the interest of my owners, phil. if the gracewoods are there, they can take passage in the daylight. they will not suffer any great hardship, while my boat may lose hundreds of dollars by the delay." "i shall be in misery till i hear from them." "you need not be. i am sure no serious accident has happened to them. i want the two men i sent in the boat, but i couldn't stop to get them, even if i knew they were at delaware city. but we shall hear from your friends before long. the daylight will drive her wheels hard to keep up with us. i see she hasn't much freight, and she will stop at every place of any size." "but if you keep ahead of her all the time, how shall we get any news from her?" "the fawn is faster than the daylight, and i can afford to let her pass me at any place where i can obtain freight enough to make it an object. if the gracewoods are on board of her, they will make themselves known as she goes by. there will be a good deal of freight at kansas city, where we shall arrive to-night. you will probably find the daylight there in the morning." i was satisfied with the captain's explanation, and i hoped the morning would justify his expectations. we made no landings till we reached kansas city, about eight o'clock in the evening. there was a crowd of passengers there, who rushed on board as soon as the plank was laid down. the freight was immediately taken on board. i was very tired after the exertions and excitement of the day and of the preceding evening, and i went to bed, hoping and expecting to see the daylight at the landing when i awoke in the morning. i slept very soundly, in spite of the grief and anxiety that weighed upon me; and it is fortunate that nature will assert her claim, or we might sometimes wear ourselves out with fruitless repinings. when i came to my consciousness in the morning, i discovered that the boat was in motion. the monotonous puff of the steam-escape pipes saluted my ears. half dressed, i went out upon the gallery of the boat, but i could see nothing that looked like kansas city, or the daylight. the deck hands had been taking in freight when i went to sleep; but how long the boat had been in motion i could not tell. chapter vi. in which phil wanders about st. louis, and has a gleam of hope. when i had completed my toilet, i hastened to find captain davis. i was indignant at his course in leaving kansas city, and i felt that he had been guilty of treachery to me and to the gracewoods. i went all over the boat, from the wheel-house to the main deck; but the captain was not to be seen. the engineer, in answer to my inquiry, told me captain davis had been up till after midnight, and probably had not yet turned out. "what time did the boat leave kansas city?" i asked. "about eleven o'clock; possibly it was half past eleven." "did you see anything of the daylight?" "not a thing; and you won't see her till we have been in st. louis two or three days," replied the engineer. "she can't keep up with the fawn. besides, we are full of freight and passengers now, and shall make no long stops anywhere." "that's mean," i growled, as i left the engineer. i wanted to cry with vexation; but i had made up my mind that it was not manly to shed tears. i walked up and down the hurricane deck till breakfast time. this exercise had a tendency to cool my hot blood, and i considered the situation in a calmer state of mind. i could be of no service to the gracewoods, and the father of the family was abundantly able to take care of them. if i could only have been assured of their safety i should have been satisfied. i went to breakfast; but captain davis did not appear till most of the passengers had left the table. i suspected that he did not wish to see me; but that did not prevent me from taking a seat at his side, even at the risk of spoiling his appetite. "you told me you should not leave kansas city till the daylight arrived, captain davis," i began. "not exactly, phil. i told you she would probably be there in the morning, or something of that kind." "why did you leave, then, before morning?" "because my passengers were indignant at the delay i had already made for your friends." "it was mean." "steady, phil." "it was mean to serve me such a trick." "you seem to think, phil, that we run this boat simply for your accommodation. you are slightly mistaken. i have done more now than most captains would have done. however, i suppose you feel bad, and i won't blame you for being a little cross." "i didn't mean to be cross," i added, rather vexed that i had spoken so hastily. "i do feel bad. i have lost my money, and lost my friends." "and i have done the best i could to help you find both." "you have, captain davis. excuse me for speaking so hastily." "all right, phil; but it's a poor way to blame your friends when things go wrong." "i know it is. mr. gracewood had all my money except what i lost, and i haven't a dollar left." "well, your passage is paid to st. louis, and, when the fawn arrives there, we will see what can be done for you." "thank you, sir. you have been very kind to me, and i am sorry i said anything out of the way." "that's all right now. i have no doubt your friends will come down in the daylight, and then all will be well with you. keep cool, and don't fret about anything." i tried to follow this advice, but i found it very hard work. i talked over all the possibilities and probabilities with the captain, and i was almost convinced that i was worrying myself for nothing. we should arrive at st. louis in a couple of days more, and the daylight would soon follow us. i watched the ever-changing scene on the shores of the river with far less delight than when ella gracewood sat at my side. we passed large towns and small ones, and i saw the capital of missouri, with its state house and other public buildings. early on the morning of the third day after leaving kansas city we passed into the mississippi. a little later in the day we were approaching the great city of st. louis. i gazed, with wonder and astonishment, at the vast piles of buildings. i saw the crowds of people hurrying to and fro on front street, which borders the river; and i could not help feeling what an insignificant mite i was in the mass of humanity. at the castle, where i was brought up, i was a person of no little consequence; but here, if i were to figure at all, it must be as a zero. the people on board of the fawn seemed to catch the infection of bustling activity, for they began to hurry back and forth, collecting their baggage, and making preparations to land. the boat ran up to the levee, and another lively scene ensued. hackmen struggled for the passengers, and porters and draymen added their share to the din. i was bewildered, and gazed with my mouth wide open at the bustling life before me. in about an hour the passengers had all disappeared, and i was almost alone on the boiler deck, from which i viewed the panorama of civilization, so new and strange, which was passing before me. the drays were carting off the freight which we had brought, some of it from the vicinity of the rocky mountains. the captain had told me i might occupy my state-room, and take my meals with him in the cabin, till the arrival of my friends. i had nothing to do but wait, and when the scene in the vicinity of the fawn became rather tame, i went on shore. the levee for half a mile was flanked with steamboats, and in several places the excitement i had just witnessed was repeated. leaving front street, i walked up market street, till i came to the court house. following fourth street, i halted, absolutely bewildered by the magnificent proportions of the planters' hotel, which i believe has since been destroyed by fire. but there was no end to my amazement, and i will not attempt to paint the impressions of a green boy as he gazed for the first time upon the elegant public buildings of st. louis, and at the splendid private residences. all day long i wandered about the city, with my mouth, as well as my eyes and ears, wide open. i gazed at the rich displays of dry goods in the shop windows, and concluded that the people of the city were made of money if they could afford to buy such gorgeous apparel. i looked for hours at the pictures at the print-sellers', and stared at the costly equipages in which elegantly-dressed ladies were riding. i only returned to the steamer when my legs ached so that they would hardly sustain the weight of my body. in the cabin, at supper, i astonished the captain with a glowing account of what i had seen, just as though the scene was as new and strange to him as to me. the next day i repeated my explorations; but at dinner time i examined all the steamers at the levee to satisfy myself that the daylight had not yet arrived. i ventured inside of the planters' hotel, and some of the public buildings, and the interior of them was even more wonderful to me than the exterior had been. two days familiarized me in some degree with the wonders of the great city, and after that i was able to walk through the streets with my mouth shut. i felt that i ought to be at work. it was time for me to commence my new career of existence. in my walks through the city, i had stopped frequently to observe the work where new buildings were in process of erection. after examining the work for a while, i came to the conclusion that i had a great deal to learn before i could be a carpenter. however, i intended to make a beginning as soon as i could. [illustration: phil and captain davis. page .] "the daylight is just coming in, phil," said captain davis, as i came in to supper after the tramps of the second day in the city. "i am so glad!" i exclaimed. "eat your supper, phil, and i will go with you then to the place where she lies." "do you suppose the gracewoods are on board of her?" "i have no doubt they are; but i should not be at all alarmed even if they were not." "why not?" "they may have missed the boat; but we won't guess at anything again. the daylight passed us just as you came on board, and will make a landing below." i bolted my supper, and was so excited i could not have told whether i was eating bread or shavings. when the captain had finished his meal, we hastened down the levee, and were soon on board of the daylight. the passengers were just going on shore, and i watched the stairs by which they were descending to the main deck to catch the first glimpse of any familiar face. but i was disappointed; and when the last one came down, my heart sank within me. captain davis ascended to the cabin, and i followed, actually trembling with anxiety. we found the clerk in his office, at work upon the manifest. "did you take on any passengers at delaware city?" asked captain davis. "yes; a dozen of them." "any by the name of gracewood?" "no," replied the clerk, after he had consulted the list. "are you sure, sir?" i asked, unwilling to believe the unpleasant statement. "very sure." "please to look again," said i. "you must excuse me; i am very busy. there is the list; you can examine it for yourself." i looked over the names, but that of gracewood did not occur. "they are not here, phil," said captain davis. "no, they are not," i replied, gloomily. "we will wait a little while, till the hurry is over, and then we may ascertain something about your friends." we went out upon the boiler deck, where we could overlook everything that transpired. the deck hands were landing freight and baggage, and everybody was hurrying as though his life depended upon his celerity. "i shall believe they were all drowned if i don't hear something from them soon," i said. "that is not at all probable, and i shall not believe anything of that kind till i have positive evidence of it. it is just as easy, and a great deal more pleasant, to think everything is right with them, instead of wrong, until we get the facts." "you haven't the same interest in the matter that i have, captain." "that may be; but i don't believe in making myself miserable about anything on mere guesswork. i think it is all right with your friends. but i must say, if you don't hear from them to-day, we must make different arrangements for you, for my owners intend to send the fawn down to new orleans with a freight which we take on at alton. we shall go up there to-morrow." "what will you do with mr. gracewood's goods and baggage?" "send them to the storehouse. there!" exclaimed he, suddenly, as he pointed to a man who was wheeling a box on shore. "that is one of the hands who went with the gracewoods in the small boat. and there is the other. we shall soon know what has become of your friends." the fact that these two men had come down in the daylight was hopeful, at least, and captain davis and i hastened down to question them; but the master of the steamer would not release them from their work, and we were obliged to wait till the hurry was over before we obtained the coveted information. chapter vii. in which phil hears from his friends, and visits mr. clinch. the two deck hands, who had worked their passage down on the daylight, were relieved from duty as soon as the baggage of the passengers had been put on shore. they followed captain davis to the fawn, where we drew from them all the information they had in regard to the gracewoods. "where are the passengers who went with you?" was the first question which the captain asked, when we started up the levee. "at delaware city, sir. the lady was sick, and not quite able to come down in the daylight," replied one of the men. "sick!" i exclaimed. "sick; but not very bad, i believe. she caught a cold coming down the river," answered the spokesman. "where is she?" "at a house in the town; i don't know whose it is." "was the young lady sick?" i inquired, anxiously. "no; she was first rate." "but how came you at delaware city?" "we couldn't help going there, captain davis," replied the spokesman of the two, who was evidently embarrassed. "you couldn't help it?" said the captain. "no, sir; we could not. the current was very swift." "explain yourself, man. i didn't suppose i had sent a couple of hands in the boat with those passengers who couldn't handle a pair of oars." "i didn't think so, either. we did as well as any men could; the gentleman will tell you so when you see him." "well, what did you do? what was the matter?" demanded the captain, impatiently. "there was a line stretched across that cut-off. i suppose the man that owned the island used it to haul his bateau across by; for it was a seven-mile current in the place." "it was all of that," added the other man, by way of fortifying the statement of his companion. "go on," said the captain. "well, sir, the boat ran on to that line, and it carried her bow clear out of water," continued the spokesman. "in fact, the water came in over the stern, and wet the lady who sat farthest aft. i sprang forward to trim the boat, for i did not know what the matter was then. in my hurry i lost my oar overboard. i couldn't help it, for i was thinking only of saving the ladies from drowning, for both of them were screaming with fright." "that's so," said the other man. "they were scared out of their wits." "when i went to the bow, i couldn't tell what the matter was. i took the other oar, and sounded with it, to see if we were aground, and then i felt the rope. it was caught just under the bow, where there was a break in the iron shoe. i put the end of the oar on the line, and crowded it down so that the boat could slide over it. but the blade of the oar was split, and the line was jammed into the crack. the boat went over, and when i tried to pull in the oar, it was fast. the current took the boat, and gave me such a jerk that i had to let go, or go overboard." "and you left the oar fast to the line?" "yes, sir; i couldn't help it." "perhaps you couldn't; but go on." "we went on in spite of ourselves. the current carried the boat through the cut-off into the river. i tried to pull up one of the thwarts, to use as a paddle, but we couldn't start them. it was very dark and foggy, as you know, captain, and we couldn't see where we were. we watched our chances as well as we could, and tried to get hold of something." "why didn't you sing out?" "that's what we did. but the current carried us over the other side of the river from leavenworth, and i suppose no one heard us; at any rate no one came to help us. the poor lady who had got wet in the cut-off was shivering with cold, and we tried everything we could think of to stop the boat; but still we kept going down stream, whirling round now and then." "well, how did you stop her at last?" demanded the captain, finding that the spokesman was disposed to be rather diffuse in his narrative. "after we had been going about two hours--wasn't it two hours, dick?" "it wasn't less than that." "no matter how long it was. go on," interposed the captain, who did not care to listen to a discussion on this point. "well, sir, we almost run into a man who was crossing the river in a bateau, with a lot of groceries. we shouted to him, and he run his boat alongside of us. we made fast to him, and he pulled us to the shore. he told us we were on the other side of the river from delaware city. mr. gracewood made a trade with him to take us over to that place, and i helped him row over, towing the boat astern of us. i reckon the gentleman paid him well for his trouble." "where did they go then?" asked the captain. "they went to a house in the town. the lady was all used up, and had chills and fever that night; but they thought she was better in the morning. they sent up to leavenworth for a doctor." "then she was very sick," i added. "no; the doctor didn't say so. he thought she would be out in a week." "where did you go then?" asked the captain. "we found a place to sleep on the levee. mr. gracewood gave us five dollars apiece, and--" "and you got drunk," suggested the captain. "no, sir; we did not. i won't say we didn't take something, for we were cold." "why didn't you go up to leavenworth, where you knew the boat would be in the morning?" "we meant to do that in the morning, as soon as it was daylight; but dick was afraid the fawn might get there and start down the river before we could tramp up to the place. besides, we wanted to know how the lady was, so as to let you know; and we didn't like to go to the house so early in the morning," added the spokesman, glancing at his companion. "i thought it was safer to wait on the levee till the fawn came down," said dick. "we supposed, of course, she would stop there." "i was of the same mind myself," continued the spokesman. "we waited till most night, when the daylight made a landing; and then we saw the fawn coming; but she stood off from the levee, and went down the river at full speed. i hailed her as loud as i could, but she took no notice of me. the captain of the daylight let us work our passage down." "where is the boat?" "on board the daylight." "how was mrs. gracewood when you left delaware city?" i inquired. "she was too sick to leave in the daylight; but the doctor thought she might be able to take a boat in two or three days," replied dick. "now go and get the boat," added the captain. "they may not come for a week," said i, as they departed. "perhaps not; but you can't tell much about it from the story of these men." "don't you think they told the truth?" "in the main, they did; but in my opinion they got drunk. if not, they would have returned to leavenworth. probably they have stretched the story a little. at any rate, you can't tell how sick the lady is from anything they said." "she got wet in the boat, and took cold, i suppose." "i suppose so." the news from my friends was not very cheering, but it was a relief to be assured that no calamity had overtaken them. i would have gone to them at once if i had had the money to pay my passage; and i said as much to captain davis. "that would be a useless step, phil," he replied. "if the lady is sick, you can do them no good. it would be a waste of money for you to do so." "if i had it, i should be willing to waste it in that way," i added. "then it is fortunate that you haven't it, phil. what do you mean to do here in st. louis? does mr. gracewood intend to support you?" "i don't intend to be supported by any one," i answered, perhaps with a little indignation; "i mean to support myself." "what do you intend to do?" "i am going to learn the carpenter's trade, if i can find a place." "all right, phil. that's a sensible idea. i didn't know but you expected to be a gentleman, as most of the boys do who come from the country," said the captain. "come with me, my boy, and we will see about a place." "that's just what i want, captain--a chance to learn the carpenter's trade. i know something about it now." i followed the captain on shore, and we went to a quiet street in one of the humbler sections of the city, where he rang the bell at a house. "is mr. clinch at home?" asked captain davis of the woman who answered the summons. "yes, sir; he has just come in from his work. won't you walk in?" we entered the house, and were shown to a very plainly furnished parlor, where mr. clinch soon appeared. he was clothed in coarse garments, but he had a very intelligent countenance, and i liked the looks of him. "o, captain davis," exclaimed the carpenter, grasping the hand of my companion, "i am glad to see you." "it always does me good to take your honest hand, clinch. this young man is phil farringford, and he comes from the upper missouri. he is a smart boy, and wants to learn your trade." mr. clinch took me by the hand, and gave me a cordial greeting. "i don't take any apprentices, now," he added. "i find it don't pay. as soon as we get a boy so that he can drive a nail without pounding his fingers, he wants a man's wages, or runs away as soon as he is worth anything to me." "if i make a trade, sir, i shall stick to it," i ventured to say. "you look like an honest young man, but i can't take apprentices, as we used to in former years." "phil knows something about the business now," interposed the captain. "he is handy with tools, and is as tough as an oak knot. he knows what hard work is, and has just come out of the woods." "but i can't take a boy into my family," continued mr. clinch; "i haven't room, and it makes the work too hard for my wife." "he might board somewhere else," said the captain. "that indeed. i like the looks of the boy." "if you can do anything for him, i shall regard it as a favor to me," added my friend. "i should be very glad to serve you, captain davis. i want more help, but a boy isn't of much use. how old are you, phil?" "thirteen, sir." "you look older. what can you do?" i told him what i could do; that i could handle a saw, axe, hammer, and auger; that i had built a bateau, made boxes, and done similar work. he seemed to be very sceptical, but finally agreed to give me three dollars a week, which he thought would board and clothe me, if, upon trial, i proved to be worth that. he told me where he was at work, and wished me to be on hand the next morning. chapter viii. in which phil goes to work, and meets an old acquaintance. "everything depends upon yourself now, phil," said captain davis, as we walked back to the steamer. "when clinch finds that you are worth more than three dollars a week, he will give you more." "i didn't expect any more than that," i replied. "if it will pay my board for a time, i shall be satisfied. i will do the best i can, and i hope my wages will be increased very soon." "now you want a boarding-house," continued the captain. "i don't know where to look for one, but i suppose you will not think of living at the planters' hotel?" "not exactly, sir." we entered a grocery store, near the house of mr. clinch, where the captain was acquainted, and he inquired for a suitable boarding-place for a boy like me. "if he's a good boy, i know just the place for him," replied the grocer. "he is as good a boy as there is in the world," answered the captain, with a zeal that caused me to blush. "mrs. greenough, who lives over my store, spoke to me, a few days ago, about a boy. she is an elderly woman, whose husband died about a year ago, leaving her this house. she has no other property except her furniture, and the rent of this store about pays her expenses. she is a little timid, and does not like to be alone in the house at night. she is a nice woman, and perhaps she will take your young man to board. she wanted one of my young men to occupy a room up stairs, but both of them live at home." "we will go up and see her. this boy is going to work for clinch to-morrow, and this will be a good locality for him." "just the place," added the grocer, as he conducted us up stairs to the rooms of mrs. greenough. the house was a small one, and the store occupied the whole of the ground floor, except a small entry. it was three stories high, with a flat roof, and i judged that the tenement could not contain more than four rooms. we were taken up stairs, and found the lady in her little parlor. she was about fifty years old, and did not appear to be in good health. the grocer explained our business, and having vouched for the good character of captain davis, he left us. "i didn't think of taking a boy to board," said mrs. greenough. "i thought if i could get one of the young men in the store to sleep in the house, i should feel safer. but i don't know but i might take him, if he is a very steady boy." "steady as a judge, mrs. greenough," replied captain davis. "he's going to be a carpenter." "is he? my poor husband was a carpenter," added the lady, wiping a tear from her eye. "i am a lone woman now." "phil will be good company for you. he knows more than most boys of his age. he has fought through one campaign against the indians, and is a dead shot with his rifle." "not always, captain," i remonstrated. "he has brought down his man, at any rate. he speaks french, and--" "o, no, i don't, captain. i have studied it, and can read it a little." "i don't talk any french," added the old lady, with a smile; so that won't make any difference. i thought, at one time, i would take a boy who would help me, and work a little for his board, but i concluded i couldn't afford to do that; for i don't have anything but the rent of the store to live on." "well, mrs. greenough, you can split the difference. phil can't afford to pay much for his board. he can help you a little in the morning and at night." "i haven't much to do, except to bring up the wood and water from the cellar, which is down two flights, and it's rather hard work for me, for i'm not very strong." "i shall be very glad to help you, mrs. greenough," i added. "how much can you take him for, madam?" said the captain, beginning to be a little impatient. the old lady had not made up her mind on this important subject, and the captain suggested two dollars a week as a fair price, if i helped about the house when i had time. she was satisfied with this amount, and i am sure i was; so the bargain was closed. mrs. greenough wanted to know more about me, and the captain spoke so handsomely of me, that my modesty will not permit me to quote his testimony. i walked back to the steamer with captain davis, and after thanking him, from the depths of my heart, for all his kindness and care, i took my leave of him. he told me he should send all the effects of mr. gracewood to the storehouse of his owners, where they could be obtained on his arrival. he advised me to write to my friends at once, and i promised to do so that night. taking the box, which contained the few articles of value i possessed, under my arm, and the rifle i had brought from my forest home, i hastened to my new boarding-house. before i did anything else, i wrote the letter to mr. gracewood, and carried it to the post-office. on my return, mrs. greenough showed me my room. it was on the third floor, in the rear of her own apartment. i must say that it looked like a boudoir in a palace to me. it was plainly but very neatly furnished. she told me i could put my clothes in the drawers of the bureau; but i answered that i had none to put there, except a single woollen shirt, and a pair of socks, which i had washed myself on board of the steamer. i wore a suit of "civilized clothes," as we called them at the settlement; and i had a pair of woollen shirts, and two pairs of socks. my landlady thought my wardrobe was rather scanty, but i considered it all-sufficient, and did not worry because i could not follow the fashion. i opened my box, and took from it the little dress and other garments which i had worn when old matt rockwood picked me up, on the missouri river. mrs. greenough's curiosity was excited, and i told her all i knew about my past history. she was deeply interested in the narrative, and asked me a great many questions about the gracewoods, which i answered to the best of my ability. i was well pleased with my new home. my landlady was very kind and motherly, and when i retired that night, i thanked god for his kindness in directing my steps to such a pleasant abode. when i awoke the next morning, i heard a church clock striking five. i rose and made my simple toilet in less time than i could have done it even a year later. i went down into the kitchen, which was the room mrs. greenough occupied most of the time, and made a fire in the stove. i had done everything i could find to do when the landlady came down. "you are quite handy about house, phil," said she, with a cheerful smile. "i ought to be. i used to keep house at the clearing. i can cook and wash." "what can you cook?" "i can boil potatoes, bake or roast them; i can fry and boil bacon, and i can bake bread. we didn't have so many things to work with as you do here." "can you make pies and cake?" "no; we never had those things at the clearing until mrs. gracewood came there." "they were rich folks, you said." "yes; they have plenty of money; but it did not do them much good out in the woods. i should like to hear how mrs. gracewood is." "i hope she is better. when they come you will have some strong friends." "yes; but i intend to take care of myself. they will go among big folks, where i cannot go; but i hope i shall see miss ella sometimes." "of course you will." "she is a beautiful young lady," i added, warmly. "but you may find your father and mother one of these days." "i hardly expect to do that; i doubt whether they are living." "from what you say, i should think you might find out who they are. of course they had some relations somewhere, and perhaps they will be willing to take care of you." "i don't want any one to take care of me; i mean to take care of myself. mr. gracewood has fifteen hundred dollars belonging to me." "well, that's comfortable. if you should be sick, you will not want for anything." we talked over the past and the present till breakfast was ready. the fried bacon and potatoes looked like old friends, and i did ample justice to the fare. i am not sure that my landlady was not alarmed when she realized my eating capacity, as compared with the price i was to pay for my board. at half past six i started for the building which mr. clinch was putting up. it was a large storehouse, near the levee. "good, phil! i'm glad to see you on hand in season," said my employer. "i mean to be on time always, sir." "i'm paying my best men two dollars a day now," added mr. clinch. "does that young man get two dollars a day?" i asked, pointing to a boy of eighteen or nineteen, who was putting on his overalls in front of the building. "no; that's morgan blair. he came down from illinois last spring. i give him a dollar a day. he doesn't know the business, and that is more than he is worth. you will work with conant." calling one of the workmen who answered to this name, he directed him to take me under his charge. the frame of the building was up, and we were to be engaged in boarding it. "come along, my boy; we will take the stiffening out of you in about two hours," said conant, as he led the way to the stage. "all right; when i break down i will give you leave to bury me." "do you think you can lift your end of a board?" "i can; and lift both ends, if need be." "you have got the pluck, but it's hard work for a boy." "i will keep my side up." mr. clinch had given me a hammer and a bag of nails, which i tied around my body, as i saw the other men do. i was strong and tough, and could easily handle any lumber used on the work. i carried my end of each board up to the frame, and i am sure i drove as many nails as conant. but i will not describe the process by which the building was erected. i did my full share of the work until noon. "don't you want to go to bed now?" asked conant, when we knocked off. "go to bed! no. why should i?" "ain't you tuckered out?" "no, not at all; i don't feel quite so fresh as i did this morning, but i shall be all right again when i get my dinner." "you are a tough 'un, then." "well, conant, how does phil get along?" asked mr. clinch, as we came down from the stage. "tip-top; he has done a man's work--twice as much as morgan," replied conant, with more magnanimity than i had given him credit for. "all right. phil, i am glad you are getting along well. it will be easier work when we get the building covered." in going home to dinner, i went pretty near the steamboat levee. a boat had just come in, and i wanted to know if it had come from the missouri, for i was very anxious to hear from the gracewoods. i hastened towards the landing. i met the passengers as they came up, and on inquiry of one of them learned that the steamer was from st. joe, but she had not stopped at delaware city; so of course the gracewoods could not have come in her. i was about to leave, when i perceived mr. leonidas lynchpinne coming across the levee. i thought that i had business with him, and i hastened to resume the relations with him which had been interrupted at leavenworth. chapter ix. in which phil meets a seedy gentleman by the name of farringford. mr. leonidas lynchpinne, otherwise lynch, had a small valise in his hand, and was sauntering leisurely along, as though earth had no sorrow for him, and he was not responsible in st. louis for an infamous act done in leavenworth. i wanted my money; in fact, i needed it. for mrs. greenough's remarks had assured me that my wardrobe was entirely inadequate to the requirements of civilized life. "how do you do, mr. leonidas lynchpinne?" i began, making towards him. he glanced at me very contemptuously, and continued on his way. i had expected to astonish and confound him, but the result did not realize my anticipations. it was decidedly a look of disdain that he bestowed upon me, which i thought was adding insult to injury. so far i was disgusted with his conduct; but i had no idea of abandoning the purpose i had in view. "i want to see you, mr. lynchpinne," i continued, following him, and taking position at his side. "who are you?" he demanded, halting, and giving me another contemptuous look. "don't you know me, mr. lynchpinne?" "my name is not lynchpinne." "lynch, then. don't you know me?" "no." "yes, you do." "you impertinent puppy!" "o, yes! all that's very pretty, but i want my money." "what money? what do you mean, you saucy young cub?" "perhaps i am saucy; so was nathan when he said to david,'thou art the man!' and that's just what i say to you." "go about your business," said he, angrily, as he resumed his walk. "my business, just now, is to get back the money you stole from me; and i'm going to stick to it, too." "stole! how dare you use that word to me?" "because i believe in speaking the truth, even when it is not pleasant to do so." "clear out, and don't come near me again." "hand over my money, and i shall be glad to do so." "if you don't leave, i'll call a policeman." "i wish you would. i should like to tell him my story. if you don't call one, i shall, as soon as i see him. i'll follow you till your legs or mine give out." "you evidently take me for some other person, boy," said he, halting on front street, perhaps afraid that we might meet a policeman--a thing which has been known to happen. "no, i don't; i take you for lynch, the man that stole my money, and i want a policeman to take you for that, too." "see here, boy; i can't be annoyed in this manner in the public street," he replied, in a kind of confidential tone. "what do you want of me?" "i told you what i wanted--my money." "i know nothing about your money. if you want to see me, come to the planters' hotel at eight o'clock this evening, and i will meet you." "i think not. i don't mean to lose sight of you, lynch." "if you don't clear out, i'll chastise you on the ground for an impudent puppy." "well, sir, when you get ready to chastise, you begin," i replied, as i glanced at his slender form. "if i don't keep up my end, you can have the money you stole." "how dare you--" but he checked himself, for two or three persons had already stopped; and their example was so contagious, in a populous city, that there was danger of collecting a crowd, to which my sensitive friend seemed to have very strong constitutional objections. he moved on, and i followed him into market street. i was anxious to meet a policeman, that i might state my case to him, and invoke his aid; but the officers, justifying all the traditions of their craft, were somewhere else, because they were wanted in market street. lynch quickened his pace, and turned into fourth street; but i kept close to his heels till we were near the planters' hotel. i concluded that he was going to this grand establishment, and that he expected to shake me off within its sumptuous walls. i did not believe he would, though the want of an officer was a sore inconvenience to me. just as he was about to cross the street, a shabby genteel and very seedy gentleman confronted him. "how are you, lynch?" exclaimed the dilapidated individual, extending his hand. "how do you do, farringford?" replied lynch. farringford! this must be the decayed steamboat owner of whom lynch had before spoken to me. he was apparently about forty-five years of age, and he looked as though the world had used him very roughly. "i'm glad to see you, lynch," said farringford. "i'm always glad to see an old friend. i'm hard up, and i want to borrow a dollar." lynch took two half dollars in silver from his pocket. perhaps the present generation of young people never saw a half dollar; but it is true that there was a time when such a coin was in general use! he handed the money to the seedy gentleman, and then said something to him in a whisper, which i could not hear, though i had planked myself close by the side of the villain. lynch then turned to cross the street, and i started to follow him. [illustration: phil meets leonidas lynchpinne. page .] "see here, my lad," said farringford, grasping me by the arm. "let me alone!" i cried, struggling to escape, fearful that i should lose sight of lynch. "hold still, my lad. i only want to speak to you," replied farringford, in cheerful tones, though he did not relax his grasp. "don't be afraid. i won't hurt you. i've known you ever since you were a baby." "known me?" i was startled by his words, for they seemed to have some relation to the mystery of my being. "certainly i have, phil." "do you know me?" i demanded, forgetting, for the moment, all about lynch and my hard money. "known you from your babyhood, my lad," said he, glancing towards the hotel. this act reminded me of my business again. i turned my face towards the hotel. lynch had disappeared. "that's all, phil; you can go now," said farringford, laughing. "what do you mean, sir?" "that's all, my lad. i only stopped you to prevent you from following my friend." "you said you knew me." "never saw you or heard of you before in my life," chuckled he, evidently pleased at the trick he had played upon me. i left him, and rushed into the hotel. i looked for lynch in all the public rooms, but i could not find him. i inquired at the office for him, and the clerks answered me, very curtly, that no such person was in the house. i asked a porter, who sat near the entrance, describing lynch. he had seen the gentleman, but did not know where he was; he had not taken a room or registered his name, and had probably gone away again. it seemed to me that everything was going against me. i had to go home to dinner, as i could spend no more time in looking for him then; but i determined to renew the search in the evening. as i walked down fourth street, i overtook farringford, who had evidently spent a portion of the dollar borrowed of lynch for liquor. i accosted him, for i thought that i might recover my money through his agency, as he evidently knew lynch. "ah, my lad! you didn't find him," chuckled the toper. "i did not. i have heard of you, mr. farringford, and i can put you in the way of making some money." "can you? then i'm your man. most distinctly, i'm _your_ man," he replied with emphasis. "there's only two things in this world that i want, and those are money and whiskey. if i get the whiskey, i don't care for the money; and if i have the money, i can always get the whiskey." "i should like to meet you somewhere this evening, for i am in a hurry now." "i will be in the bar-room of the planters' hotel at seven o'clock this evening, if you have any money for me. but what's it all about? can't you tell me now?" "i haven't time now." "very well. planters' hotel--bar-room--seven o'clock. i'll be there if they don't turn me out before that time. if they do, you will find me in the street." although i was not very confident he would keep his appointment, it was the best i could do. if he failed to be there, he was evidently a character so noted, that i could easily find him. i hastened to my dinner, and reached mrs. greenough's rather late. i explained the reason of my tardiness, which was quite satisfactory. my landlady hoped that i should recover my money, and i hoped so too--a degree of unanimity which does not always exist between landlady and boarder. i was on the work as the clock struck one, but i had to do some running that noon, in order to protect my reputation. conant did not drive business in the afternoon as he had in the forenoon, when i think he intended to wear me out. we worked steadily, and i kept my end of the board up. i was not sorry to hear the clock strike six, for i was tired, though perhaps not more so than conant himself. i went home, ate my supper, did my chores in the house, and at seven o'clock i was in the bar-room of the planters' hotel. it was no place for a boy, or a man either, for that matter. no one was what could be called, in good society, disreputably drunk, unless it was the seedy gentleman whom i met by appointment; and even he was able to handle himself tolerably well. no doubt he would have been more intoxicated if he had not drank up the dollar he had borrowed; but his wits were not wholly stupefied. "well, my lad, you have come, and so have i," said farringford, when i entered the room. "both come, and that makes two of us, all told." "yes. i wanted to see you about--" "stop a minute, my lad," interposed he, putting his trembling hand upon my shoulder. "let us go to work right. when i used to run steamboats, we had to put in wood and water before we could get up steam." "when did you run steamboats?" i asked. "ten or fifteen years ago. i was a rich man then; but now i'm as poor as a church mouse with his hair all singed off. i am; but i'm jolly; yes, i am jolly. let's proceed to business." "did you own a steamboat--" "stop, my lad; i owned half a dozen of them. but that's no matter now. do you happen to have a dollar in your pocket--one dollar, my lad." "no, sir; i have not." "not a dollar?" "no, i have not." "do you happen to have half a dollar in your pocket, my lad?" "not even half a dollar, sir." "your name is--somebody told me your name," said he, musing. "phil, sir." "phil, do you always speak the truth?" "i always endeavor to do so," i replied. "i hope so. truth is mighty, and must prevail. you should always speak the truth." "as you did, to-day, when you said you had known me from my babyhood." "boys must speak the truth, whether men do or not. did you speak the truth when you said you had not even half a dollar?" "i did." "have you any money?" "i have thirty cents." "then lend me a quarter." "it's all i have." "we can't do any business till this little matter is attended to," said he, with tipsy solemnity. "you shall be paid, my lad; you shall be paid--when i pay the rest of my creditors." finding it impossible to proceed any farther without complying with his request, i reluctantly gave him the quarter; but i felt guilty in doing so. he went to the bar, drank, and returned to the corner where he had left me. chapter x. in which phil listens to a very impressive temperance lecture. farringford was very chipper when he returned to me. he had drank half a tumbler of whiskey, and appeared to be prepared, to his own satisfaction, for any business which might be presented to him. "now, my lad, i'm ready. i'm refreshed. i'm invigorated. i'm inspired. in a word, i'm prepared for the consideration of the important matter you proposed to bring before me," said he. "i am very glad to hear it, sir; i wish to tell you--" "stop a moment, my lad. you have a name, doubtless. do you happen to remember what it is?" "very distinctly, mr. farringford. you may call me phil." [illustration: phil meets a seedy individual named farringford. page .] "phil; that is very good as far as it goes. phil may stand for philip, phillimore, philippians, philosophy." "it stands for philip with me, sir." "philip; i had a brother once of that name, but he is no longer living. if he were, he would blush to own his brother. but no matter; that is all past and gone. you can proceed with your business, philip." placing his elbows upon the little table between us, he rested his chin upon his trembling hands, and fixed his gaze upon me. he was a singular man, and, tipsy as he was, i was deeply interested in him. "you know lynch, the person you met opposite the planters' hotel to-day noon." "i know him, philip; but, in a word, i don't know any good of him. go on." "that man robbed me of all the money i had, except thirty cents--nearly a hundred dollars." "philip, you told me you were in the habit of speaking the truth; or rather that you endeavored to speak the truth." "yes, sir; i do endeavor to speak the truth. i am willing to go a point farther, and say that i have thus far been very successful." "the statement that lynch robbed you of nearly a hundred dollars implies the statement that you had nearly a hundred dollars," said he, with his tipsy solemnity, which was amusing. "it is self-evident that he could not have robbed you of this money, if you had not had it." "certainly not sir. i did have it." "where and by what means should a boy of your tender years obtain nearly a hundred dollars? in a word, philip, where did you get your money?" "it was a part of what was left me by my foster-father, who died last spring. i had it with me to pay my expenses till i could get into business and pay my way. i expect my friends will be in st. louis in a few days, and then i shall be able to prove all i say. in the mean time i refer to captain davis, of the steamer fawn." "that's all straightforward, philip, and for the present i accept your statement as true. you were robbed of nearly a hundred dollars by this man, lynch, of whom i know no good thing, except that he lent me a dollar to-day, which i shall return to him when i pay the rest of my creditors." "could you find this man, mr. farringford?" i asked. "doubtless i could. he may be seen, almost any night, at the gambling-houses." "will you help me get my money back?" "wherefore should i soil the dignity of a gentleman by becoming a thief-taker?" "because you will do me a favor, and promote the ends of justice by doing so." "very true, philip; you rightly apprehend the character of the gentleman you address. whatever i may seem to be, no man can say that edward farringford ever soiled his soul by a dishonorable or a dishonest act." "if you can induce lynch to give me back my money, i will pay you twenty-five dollars." "twenty-five dollars!" exclaimed he. "two hundred and fifty drinks! philip, i will do the best i can for you; not for the sake of the money, but to subserve the ends of justice, and to save a deserving young man from want and hardship. the cause is a good one." "it is, sir. if you do not succeed, i shall call upon the police as soon as my friends arrive." "it is well, philip. lynch will return the money rather than be driven from st. louis." "you understand that he must pay the money to me," i added, as it occurred to me that i should never see it if it came into the hands of the dilapidated gentleman before me. "wouldn't it be just as well that he should pay it over to me, and i will pass it to you?" "just as well, sir; but he will want some assurance from me that this is the end of the matter. i prefer that he should pay it to me." "you are right, philip. it shall be paid to you. stop!" exclaimed he, with a sudden start. "what is the matter, mr. farringford?" "this business is wrong." "wrong?" "wrong! no living man has been, or shall ever be, able to say that edward farringford stained his soul with a foul, dishonorable act." "do you think it would be wrong, sir?" "it would be compounding a felony," he added, solemnly. i did not know what he meant by this technical phrase, but i could not see that it was wrong for me to get my money if i could. mr. farringford asked me when, where, and in what manner i had been robbed; and i related my adventure on the night i was at leavenworth. "you are the only witness, philip, and it would be difficult to prove the crime. i will see lynch. i will charge him with the base deed, and be governed, in my further proceedings, by the circumstances of the case. where do you live, philip?" i gave him the address of mrs. greenough, and told him where i was at work. i was satisfied that the promised reward would stimulate him to great activity in the pursuit of lynch, and i had some hope that he would be successful. having disposed of the important part of my business with my seedy companion, i was rather curious to know more about him. i almost dared to believe that he could give me some information in regard to the steamer which had been burned on the upper missouri, and from which i had been saved by my foster-father. that steamer had borne the name of this man, and he had been her owner. of course he knew all about her, and it was possible, even probable, that he knew who had lost a little child in the fearful calamity. i actually trembled when i thought of it, when i considered that, at the opening of this singular man's lips, i might be told who and what my father was, and whether my parents had perished or not. it was an anxious moment, and my heart was in my throat. i had not the courage to ask the momentous question, and farringford rose unsteadily from his chair, to leave me. "stop a moment, mr. farringford, if you please," i interposed; and he dropped back into his chair. "isn't our business finished, philip?" "yes, sir; but i have been told that you were formerly a large steamboat owner." "who told you so?" "you did, for one. if you don't object, i should like to ask you something about those steamers," i continued, with much embarrassment. "do you wish to go into the steamboat business, philip? if you do, some of my old captains are still on the river, and i can get you a situation. but i must have one more drink before i say anything." "i wouldn't take any more, sir," i ventured to say. "it is a necessity of my being, philip." he rose from his chair, and went to the bar. i saw him drink another half tumbler of whiskey. he tottered back to the table where i sat. such a wreck of a man i had never seen. though his step was unsteady, he was not overcome by the potions he had taken. his nerves, rather than his brain, seemed to be affected. "i haven't drank much to-day, philip. i wasted half the dollar i borrowed in getting something to eat," said he, dropping into his chair. "it is a bad habit, my boy. never take any whiskey, philip: in a word, never begin to drink liquor, and you will never have to leave off; for it is a great deal harder to leave off than it is to begin. this is disinterested advice: in a word, it is the counsel of one who knows all about drinking." "i would stop it if i were you, mr. farringford." "if you were edward farringford, you could no more leave off drinking liquor, and drinking all you could get, than you could leave off eating. i can live without eating much, but i can't live without drinking." "i think you can leave off, sir; i hope you will try." "you speak like a boy. you never drank any whiskey. you don't know what a fiend it is. you don't know what a horrible necessity it is to a man whose nerves are shaken, only to be steadied by this liquid fire; whose stomach, chilled and frozen, can only be warmed by this blast from tartarus. you don't know anything about it. i hope you never will. philip, i hope you never will." he covered his face with his hands, and when he raised his head, i saw that he had been weeping. his eyes were filled with tears, and i pitied him from the deepest depths of my heart. "beware, philip! beware!" said he, solemnly. "never touch a drop of whiskey, wine, or even ale,--not the tenth part of a drop,--if you are dying for the want of it. die, but don't touch it." "i hope i never shall." "hope! don't hope! sign the pledge; swear on the holy bible; go down on your knees, every morning and every night, and pray that almighty god will help you, and save you from the curse. don't trifle with it, philip. be in earnest, and when you feel weak, commend yourself to god, and think of edward farringford." he covered his face with his hands again, and wept so bitterly, that the little table danced under the convulsive agony which shook his frame. "look at me, philip!" said he, raising his head again. "behold the wreck of a man! if there had been no whiskey in the world, or if i had never tasted it, i could have welcomed you to the most elegant mansion in st. louis. i could have pointed you to a dozen steamers, on the missouri and mississippi, which were all mine. i could have presented you to my wife, the most beautiful and accomplished woman in the city, now driven out from my presence. more than this, philip, i could have pointed you to my boy, my son, my only child, who perished in the cold waters of the missouri, because i was too drunk to save him!" i need not say how startled, how thrilled i was by this agonizing narrative. the bar-room was crowded, and noisy with the violent debates of excited politicians, and the gabble of men warmed by their cups into unusual hilarity, so that no one appeared to notice farringford, though he uttered his impressive warnings in a loud tone. but i was too much moved and thrilled myself to heed what others said or did. the toper wept, and then tried to shake off the remembrance of the past. "where was your son lost, mr. farringford?" i asked, choking with emotion. "on the upper missouri. he was a child under three. his name was philip, like yours. he was named after my brother, who died ten years ago. enough of this. i am almost crazy when i think of it." the broken-down toper was my father! chapter xi. in which phil takes his father to his new home. my father! i had found him; but the finding of him in such a miserable, degraded, besotted being as he who was before me seemed to be the greatest mishap, the most overwhelming misfortune, that could possibly have overtaken me. he was the first white man i had ever seen really intoxicated. i was mortified and disheartened as i looked at his pale, thin face, and regarded his trembling limbs. what should i do? i could not tell him that i was his son. i could not throw myself into his arms and weep tears of joy, as i had imagined the impressive scene, in case i should ever find either of my parents. i wanted to weep; i wanted to give myself up to a transport of grief, if not despair, as i realized the terrible truth that the degraded being before me was my father. "philip, i've told you more than i ever uttered before. you looked into my face, and seemed so interested that i was tempted to tell more than i intended," said he, wiping away with his coat sleeve the tears that stained his sunken cheeks. "no matter; we will be jolly now. i can get another drink in a cheap grog-shop for the half dime i have in my pocket." to my surprise he laughed as easily as he had wept, and shook off, with astonishing facility, the burden which had weighed him down. he rose from his chair, and tottered towards the door. i followed him out into the street. "where are you going now?" i asked. "going to get a cheap drink," he replied, with a kind of chuckle. "i shall be all right then; and we'll go and look for lynch." "don't drink any more to-night, mr. farringford," i pleaded, taking his arm. "i must!" said he, vehemently. "i might as well tell you not to eat after you had been without food for a week, as you tell me not to drink. i must have whiskey, or die." "then die!" i added, using his own words. "die?" "that's what you said to me." "i might do that, philip," he replied, stopping suddenly in the street, as if the idea impressed him favorably. "of course i did not mean that, sir," i interposed. "but it would be better to die than live as i live. i have only one cheap drink left--one glass of camphene whiskey, which seems to burn my very soul. in a word, it is better to die than to live, for such as i am." "no; there is hope for you," i pleaded, leading him along through the street. "hope? no more than for a man who is already dead, philip. i shall take my cheap drink, and then i shall be penniless again. it may be twenty-four hours, perhaps forty-eight, before i can raise another dollar or another drink. then i shall suffer with horrors i cannot describe, till i can get more whiskey." "where do you live?" "nowhere." "where do you board?" "i don't board," he replied, with his usual chuckle. "where do you sleep?" "wherever i happen to drop. in the police station; on board a steamboat; in a shed; anywhere or nowhere." "but where were you going to-night?" i asked, shocked at this revelation of misery, so horrible and strange to me. "i was going to the gambling-houses to find lynch." "but after that?" "anywhere that my fancy leads me." "come with me," said i, unwilling to abandon him. "where?" "to my house--where i board." "no, philip." "you shall sleep with me to-night." i knew that mrs. greenough would not wish such a lodger as he, but i was determined to do what i could for him; and, if she would not permit him to sleep with me, i would go out with my miserable parent. i wanted to see him when he was sober. he had told me that his wife had deserted him, and i wished to learn more about her. i could not allude to a theme so sacred while he was in his present condition. hopeless as the task seemed to be, i intended to use all the powers which god had given me in reforming him. i led him in the direction of my boarding-house, and he seemed to be as willing to go one way as another. after he had delivered himself of the emotions which crowded upon him at the bar-room, he spoke lightly of his misfortunes, and chuckled whenever he alluded to any circumstance which was particularly degrading in his condition. "where do you obtain your meals, mr. farringford?" i asked, as much to keep his attention occupied as to gratify my own curiosity. "i don't obtain many," he replied, lightly. "but you must eat." "not when i can drink. i don't average more than one meal a day. i can't afford to waste my money, when i have any, in eating." "do you live on one meal a day?" "i don't get that always." "where do you get that one?" "anywhere i can. they have meals on board the steamers lying at the levee and waiting to start. they never turn me off when i sit down to the table. if i'm very drunk, they give me my meal at a side-table; but that don't happen often, for i don't want to eat when i can get plenty to drink." how insufferably miserable and degrading was the life he led! and he was my father! "how long have you led such a life?" i inquired, with a shudder. "not long, philip. do you know, my lad, that i'm telling you all this to save you from whiskey? i'm not drunk now. i know what i'm about; and i would go ten miles to-night to save any fellow-creature, even if it was a nigger, from being as bad as i am. i would, philip; upon my honor and conscience i would." "that proves that you have a kind heart," i replied; and even as he revelled in his shame and misery, i was glad often to observe these touches of fine feeling, for they assured me that, in his better days, he had been a noble and generous man. [illustration: phil introduces the elder farringford to his landlady. page .] "my heart is right, my boy. like all drunkards--yes, philip, i'm a drunkard. i know it; and i call things by their right names. like all drunkards, i've been growing worse and worse; but it's only a few months since i went into the street, and had no home, no place to lay my head at night." i led him to mrs. greenough's house. he said nothing more about the "cheap drink," for i had kept his mind busy on the way. i had a night key, and i admitted him to the entry, where i asked him to wait until i spoke with my landlady. in as few words as possible i informed her of the discovery i had made, and distinctly added that my father was intoxicated. "will you allow me to take care of him in my room, mrs. greenough?" i asked. "yes, indeed!" she replied, with unexpected readiness. "bring him into the kitchen, and i will do everything i can for him." "thank you, mrs. greenough. you are very kind. i had no right to expect this of you." "i know how to pity such poor people, phil," said she, shaking her head sadly; and i afterwards learned that her late husband had been a drunkard for a number of years, and had been saved by the great washingtonian movement. "my father does not yet suspect that i am his son. will you be so kind as not to mention the fact to him?" i continued. "just as you wish, phil," she answered, as i hastened down stairs. mrs. greenough held the lamp in the entry while i conducted my tottering companion up the stairs. i introduced him in due form to her. "madam, i am your very obedient servant," said he. "i am happy to make your acquaintance--more happy than you can be to make mine." "i'm very glad to see you; come in," she added, placing her rocking-chair before the fire for him. he seated himself, and glanced around the room. mrs. greenough asked if he had been to supper. he had not, and he did not wish for any; but the good lady insisted that he should have a cup of tea. in spite of his answer, he ate heartily of the food set before him, and seemed to be refreshed by it. for an hour he talked about indifferent subjects, and then i took him to my room. mrs. greenough gave me some clean clothes for him, which had belonged to her husband, declaring that she was glad to have them put to so good use. he intimated, as he glanced at the neat bed, that he should like to wash himself. i carried up a pail of warm water, and leaving him to make his ablutions, i went down to the kitchen again. "i hope you will excuse me for bringing him here, mrs. greenough," said i, feeling that i had been imposing upon her good nature. "you did just exactly right, phil. you had no other place to take him to; and you didn't want to leave the poor creature in the street. i will do everything i can for him." "i am very much obliged to you, and as soon as mr. gracewood comes, i will have something done for him." "are you sure he is your father?" "i have no doubt of it, mrs. greenough. what he said assured me of the fact; but he thinks i am dead." "where is your mother? was she lost?" "no; he says she was driven away from him by his bad conduct. i don't know where she is." my landlady was willing to take care of the sufferer for a few days, if he could be induced to stay at the house; and we talked about the matter till i thought he had gone to bed, when i went to my room. by this time the effects of the liquor he had drank were hardly perceptible; but his nerves were terribly shaken. mrs. greenough had given me a dose of valerian, which she said would do him good. he drank it without an objection, and soon went to sleep. i was tired enough to follow his example, after i had put the room in order. when i awoke in the morning, my father had dressed himself, and was pacing the room, in the gloom of the early morning. he was entirely sober now, and his frame shook as though he had been struck with palsy. i was alarmed at his condition. he told me he must have whiskey, or he should shake himself to pieces. "don't take any more, sir," i pleaded. "nothing but whiskey will quiet my nerves," said he, in trembling tones. "you shall have some strong tea or coffee; or perhaps mrs. greenough can give you something better." "i don't want to drink, philip; no, i don't," he replied, in piteous tones; "but you cannot understand the misery of my present condition. it is worse than death." "but you will be better soon if you let liquor alone." "i can't let it alone. every instant is an hour of agony. have you any money?" "only five cents." "i have five cents. i will get a cheap drink." "no, don't!" i pleaded. "wait here a little while. i will make a fire, and see what can be done for you." i went down stairs, and by the time i had made the fire mrs. greenough appeared. i told her how much my poor father was suffering. she seemed to understand the case exactly; and as soon as the tea-kettle boiled, she made some strong wormwood tea, which i gave to our patient. i had some hope when he declared that it had helped him. he ate a very light breakfast, and appeared to have no appetite. my good landlady spoke words of hope to him, and said she had taken care of one who was precisely in his condition. if he would only be patient, and trust her, she would cure him. he promised to stay in the house during the forenoon; and i went to my work, hoping, but hardly expecting, to find him there when i came home to dinner. chapter xii. in which phil listens to a discussion, and takes part in a struggle. my work on the building was no lighter than it had been the day before; but i had done so much hard labor in the field and forest that it did not wear upon me. i observed everything that was done by the skilled workmen, and endeavored to profit by what i saw. i felt that i was learning something every hour, and i was pleased to know that mr. clinch was entirely satisfied with me. at noon i hastened home, anxious to know the condition of my father. "how is your patient, mrs. greenough?" i asked, as i entered the kitchen where she was cooking the dinner. "i am sorry to tell you, phil, that he is gone." "gone!" "yes; i had to go over to the provision store for something for dinner. mr. farringford promised faithfully to remain in the house; but when i came back he had left. i was not absent more than fifteen minutes." "i am very sorry for it; but it can't be helped," i replied, sadly. "i am to blame, phil. i ought to have locked the door, and taken the key with me." "don't blame yourself at all, mrs. greenough," i interposed. "you have been very kind to him and to me, and i am greatly obliged to you." "perhaps you will be able to find him again." "i will try this evening. i'm sorry i have not more time to take care of him." "if you will get him back again i will do the best i can, and when i go out i will lock the door." "perhaps it is no use to try to do anything for him," i added. "he is your father, phil; and you must do and keep doing for him. let us hope and pray that he may be saved." after dinner i went to my work again; and that afternoon we finished boarding the building. "can you lay shingles, phil?" asked mr. clinch. "i never did lay any, but i know i can after i have seen how it is done." "conant shall show you how," he added. i went upon the roof with my fellow-workman. as, in the short time i had worked with him, i had carefully observed all his instructions, and been obliging and respectful to him, conant was very willing to show me how to work. but the operation of laying shingles is very simple, though it requires considerable care and skill in breaking joints, so that the water shall not work through. i saw how it was done, and, though i worked rather slowly at first, i was soon able to lay the shingles to the satisfaction of my instructor. as i got the "hang of the thing" i worked more rapidly, and before night i could lay as many as conant. we lined the length of the roof, and while he began at one end, i began at the other. at first we came together pretty near my end, but i gradually increased the distance until we met in the middle, showing that i did as much work as my instructor. "well, phil, how did you get along shingling?" asked mr. clinch, when i went down the ladder at six o'clock. "pretty well, i think, sir," i replied. "i shall learn how in time." "learn how!" added conant; "he can lay as many shingles in a day as i can." "if i can it is all because conant showed me so well that i couldn't help doing it," said i, wishing to acknowledge my obligations to my kind instructor. i saw that he was pleased with the compliment; and i have always found that a pleasant word, even from a boy, helps things along amazingly in this world. it was better and fairer to attribute a portion of my success to conant's careful and patient teaching than to claim all the credit of it myself. it was doing justice to him without injuring me, and was a cheap way to make a strong friend. "i'm glad to have a fellow like you to work with, phil," said conant, as we walked up the street together. "clinch put that morgan blair into my charge to show him how to work; but he knew so much more than i did that i couldn't teach him anything. his head is made of wood." "i'm always very thankful to any one who will show me how to do anything." "i see you are, phil, and it's a real pleasure to teach you anything." "thank you; i think we shall agree together first rate." "so do i; but i don't like these boys who know more than the law allows." we parted at the corner of the next street, and i went home to supper. my father had not returned to the house, and i did not expect he would do so. i was sorry i had not inquired about my mother when he was with me; but i had no good opportunity, and was confident that i should see him again. after supper i left the house, and went to the planters' hotel, where i expected to find him; but it was only when he had a dollar or two that he went there. "have you seen mr. farringford to-day?" i timidly asked one of the bar-tenders, who was disengaged. "he has been here two or three times to-day," replied the man. "do you know where he is now?" "i haven't the least idea. he hangs round forstellar's, i think." "where is that?" "it is a gambling-house," he added, giving me the street and number. "what does mr. farringford do?" i asked, rather startled at being directed to a gambling-house. "do? nothing," said the man, contemptuously. "he used to be a runner for a gambling-house, and followed this business as long as he could keep sober enough to do it." "what is a runner?" "one that ropes in customers to a gambling-saloon," laughed the bar-tender. "farringford used to make money enough to pay for his liquor at it; but lately he keeps so drunk that no one will go with him. what do you want of him?" "i wanted to see him." "do you know him?" "i did not know him till yesterday. he knows a man who has some money that belongs to me," i replied. but i was thankful that a customer came to prevent him from asking me any more questions. i was shocked to hear that my father had been connected with a gambling-house. he evidently did not think that the business of a "runner" was disreputable, when he assured me that no one could accuse him of a dishonest or a dishonorable deed. but he was only the wreck of a man, and it would have been strange indeed if his moral perception had not been impaired by his long course of dissipation. i hastened to the place which had been described to me by the bar-tender. the establishment had a bar-room on the lower floor, with a private staircase to the apartments above, where games of chance were played. i went into the bar-room, and saw well-dressed gentlemen passing through the private door to the stairs. i looked about the place a short time. if my father was in the building, he was up stairs, and i decided to attempt the passage. at the foot of the stairs a man stopped me, and told me that no boys were allowed in the rooms above. i was willing to believe that, considering the character of the house, this was a very wholesome regulation; but i wished to find my father. i asked the sentinel if mr. farringford was up stairs. he did not know; if he was i couldn't see him. i inquired for lynch then, but could obtain no satisfaction. i insisted upon seeing one or both of these men with so much zeal that the inside sentinel ordered me to leave the premises. i gently and respectfully remonstrated; but the fellow took me by the arm, and walked me out into the street. as i had no rights there, i did not resist. i was rather indignant at this treatment, though i ought not to have expected decent conduct on the part of the officials of such an establishment. i decided not to abandon my purpose, though any satisfactory result was rather hopeless just then. i planted myself on the opposite side of the street, and watched the house, taking note of every one who went in or came out. i meant to stay there till midnight if necessary, for i judged from the answers of the inside sentinel that the persons for whom i had inquired were there. my patience held out till the clock struck eight, when a policeman, by some strange fatality, happened to pass the place. he was on the other side of the street, and glanced into the bar-room as he passed. i determined to walk at his side, and tell him my story, so far as it related to the loss of my money. i crossed over for the purpose of joining him, hoping to induce him to enter the gambling-house with me. as i reached the front of the establishment, two men came out, both of them making use of rather sharp language. their voices attracted my attention. one of them was lynch, and the other was farringford. "i will not have my steps dogged by such a fellow as you are?" exclaimed the former, angrily. "don't make a noise, lynch," said farringford. "if you do, i'll refer the matter to a policeman, and send for the boy." "nonsense! i've told you i know nothing about the boy or his money," added lynch, moving down the street in the direction of the river. deeply interested in the discussion, i followed the parties closely enough to hear every word they spoke. from what lynch said i learned that they had already discussed the subject at the gambling-house; and i judged that the robber had fled in order to escape the importunity of the other. "the boy speaks the truth, and if you don't give his money back i will make st. louis too warm for your comfort," retorted farringford, warmly. "i don't want to be bored with this matter any more," said lynch. "if you will clear out i will give you a dollar to get drunk upon." "i ask no man to give me anything. that won't do; i want the money for the boy." "why should you bother your head about the boy?" "he's my boy, and i won't see him wronged by any one." "your boy!" "yes, my boy! he's my son," persisted farringford. "nonsense! you have lost your wits." i thought i had lost mine too. i could not believe that farringford intended to speak the truth when he said i was his son. he could not possibly have known that i was his son. but my heart leaped up into my throat when it flashed upon my mind that my father had opened the bureau drawer in my room, where i had placed the locket and the little clothes i had worn when i was picked up on the missouri river. yet this was not probable, for i had locked the drawer, and put the key in a safe place. i was more inclined to think that farringford called me his son in order to explain his interest in my affairs. i followed the two men to the levee, where they suddenly halted near a street lamp. i dodged out of their sight, and kept walking back and forth near them; but, as i was a boy, they did not seem to notice me, or at least to consider my presence of any importance. "i am willing to get rid of you, farringford, at any reasonable price," said lynch. "i will not be dogged another foot farther." "then give me back the ninety-seven dollars and a half you stole from my boy," added farringford. "don't say that thing again to me. i will give you five dollars if you will bore me no more." "no; i want the whole." "once for all, then, will you clear out, or not?" "once for all, i will not till you give up the money you stole from my boy." "then take the consequences," said lynch, as he sprang upon the tottling farringford. my blood boiled then, and leaping upon lynch, i bore him to the ground. he released his hold upon my father when he felt my grasp upon him. "police!" i shouted, as i lay upon my victim. he struggled to shake me off; but i held on, for i knew that i must keep the advantage or lose my man. chapter xiii. in which phil has another mishap, and is taken to a police station. i had measured the form and estimated the muscle of lynch before i paid my respects to him. he had threatened me when i met him on the preceding day, and i came to the conclusion that, after passing through one indian campaign, i should not run away from such a puny fellow as he was. as a boy i was strong, as a man he was weak, and having him under me i had all the advantage. he struggled but a moment, and then changed his tone. "don't make a row, phil," said he, panting under the exhaustion of his efforts. "you do know me, then," i replied, puffing not less than he. "i do. let me up, phil, and i will give you your money." "i don't think i shall take your word again," i added, with a candor becoming the exciting occasion. "let me up, phil; there will be a crowd around us in a moment." "no matter; i won't let you up till you give me some security for your good behavior." "better let him up as quick as possible," interposed mr. farringford. "there are some men coming down the street." "i will hold on to him till he makes it safe for me to let him go," i replied. "put your hand into my breast pocket, and take out my pocket-book. it contains over two hundred dollars," said lynch. i followed his directions; but i was not satisfied in regard to the contents of the pocket-book. it might be stuffed with brown paper for aught i knew, for i had read about some of the tricks of swindlers in great cities, in the newspapers, since i came to st. louis. "take it, mr. farringford, and see what is in it," i added, handing it to my father. "let me up, phil," pleaded lynch. "not yet, mr. lynchpinne." "if you are not satisfied, take the purse out of my side pocket. it contains fifty or sixty dollars in gold." i took the purse from his pocket, and it was heavy enough to be filled with gold. "now let me up, phil. don't get up a row here." i was not quite satisfied that we had a sufficient security for the money i had lost, and i wished my father to examine the purse after he had reported on the contents of the pocket-book. "what's the row?" demanded a couple of men coming out of the street by which we had reached our present position. "let me up, phil," said lynch, in a low tone. "let him up," said my father, in a tone so earnest that i could not disregard it. lynch sprang to his feet, and began to brush the dirt from his clothes. "what's the trouble?" repeated the two strangers. "no trouble," replied lynch. "come, we will go up to forstellar's and settle the matter." without waiting to have the matter discussed, lynch started at a rapid pace, and my father and i followed him. the two strangers, who manifested a strong interest in the proceedings, again demanded an explanation; and as they received none, they came up the street after us. "i'm not going to any gambling-house to settle the matter," said i, placing myself at the side of lynch. "where will you go?" demanded he, impatiently. "come to my boarding-house." "no; i am not going to be led into any trap." "there is no trap about it. you will see no one but a woman." "i don't care about going to a private house." "and i don't care about going to a gambling-saloon." "you have all my money. do you mean to keep the whole of it?" "if i should it would be serving you right; but i don't intend to take any more than belongs to me. will you go to the planters' hotel?" i asked. "why not go to forstellar's? it is nearer, and i am in a hurry." "i won't go into such a place if i can help it." "you need not go up stairs--only into the bar-room." "no; i won't go where you can call in the aid of your friends." "very well; i will go to the planters' hotel," he replied. as we were walking up the street we passed a policeman. i had come to feel a peculiar interest in this class of men; and from the fact that i had met two of them in the same evening, i concluded that the traditions stored up against them were false. it is not quite possible for a police officer to be everywhere at the same instant; and, as there are a thousand places within his beat where he cannot be, to the one where he is, the chances are altogether against his being always where he happens to be wanted. i say that, having seen two policemen in the same evening, i felt a renewed respect and regard for the order, and i naturally looked behind me as i passed the second one, in order to obtain a good view of the man. i was not exactly pleased to notice that the two men who had followed us from front street stopped him, or rather induced him to join them; and the three followed us. i had no doubt the inquisitive strangers made our little party the subject of a familiar conversation with the policeman, as they walked up the street. however, i did not feel much concerned about the circumstance; for, having been brought up beyond the practicable reach of the law, i had no suspicion that i had done anything wrong; and a new mishap was necessary in order to convince me of the error of taking the law into my own hands. i mentioned the fact to lynch that a policeman was following us. he did not take the matter so coolly as i did, and i am not sure he did not regret that he had taken the trouble to relieve me of my shot-bag. i was very well pleased with myself, and thought i had managed my case remarkably well. i had full security for the money i had lost, and ten minutes in the hotel would enable me to recover possession of my funds. the next day was saturday, and i intended to purchase some new clothes, so that i could go to sunday school, to church, and to the prayer-meeting on the evening of the holy day. all these things were new to me, and the anticipation of them was very pleasant. i meant, with my money, to put my wardrobe in a condition that would satisfy mrs. greenough, who had promised to go with me to the sunday school, and to all the meetings. [illustration: phil gets lynch at a disadvantage. page .] "come, hurry up," said lynch, while i was passing these pleasant reflections through my mind. "that policeman will make trouble for us." "i'm not afraid of him." "but i am," replied my companion, sharply. "if you get me into a scrape, it will go harder with you than with me." i did not see how that could be, but i was willing to meet the views of lynch as long as no treachery was apparent in his conduct. if he wished to leave us, he could do so, for we had all his money. we reached the planters' hotel, closely followed by the policeman and the two strangers. when we were about to enter the bar-room, the officer stepped in front of us, and stopped our further progress. "i learn that an assault was committed, under suspicious circumstances, near the levee," said the officer. "i should like to know about it." "i was robbed of my purse and pocket-book," replied lynch, promptly. "who did it?" demanded the officer, with energy. "this man and this boy," answered lynch. "it is no such thing!" i protested, startled at the charge of my unprincipled companion. "but that young fellow was holding him down," interposed one of the strangers. "he let him up just as gray and i came out of plum street." "that's so," added lynch, in the tone and manner of a martyr. "they took from me all my money, and were going to take my watch when they were interrupted." "it is a false and groundless accusation," said mr. farringford, vehemently. "ah, farringford, are you in the scrape?" exclaimed mr. gray. "i am not in the scrape. there is no scrape," replied my father, very much agitated, for he probably realized better than i did the nature of our proceedings. "i will conduct you all to the police office, and we will look into the matter," said the official, as he took me upon one arm, and my father upon the other. lynch walked with the two gentlemen, one of whom, it appeared, was connected with the metropolitan police department, which explained his interest in the affair. i heard him telling his story to them, and i had no doubt they were greatly edified by it. we arrived at the station, and were presented to a sergeant of police, who imposed upon himself the task of investigating the affair. mr. gray stated that he had found me holding lynch upon the ground, while farringford was looking into a pocket-book under the street lamp. "what have you to say?" said the sergeant to lynch. "i was going across the levee to a steamboat, when this man and boy sprang upon me and knocked me down before i knew what they were about," replied lynch. "they took from me my pocket-book, which contains over two hundred dollars, and my purse, with fifty or sixty dollars in it, mostly in gold." "do you know either of these parties?" asked the sergeant. "i know farringford--everybody knows him," replied lynch. "i don't know the boy." "i am sorry to see that farringford has been reduced to anything of this sort," added mr. gray, glancing at the trembling inebriate. "gentlemen, i am willing to wait till this transaction can be investigated for the vindication of my character," replied farringford, straightening himself up as much as his tottering limbs would permit. "give me your name, if you please," said the sergeant to lynch. "my name is lynch." "full name, if you please." "samuel lynch." "_alias_ leonidas lynchpinne," i added; "the name he called himself by when i first saw him." "your business, if you please?" continued the official, as he wrote down the name. "i have no regular business at the present time." "that's so!" exclaimed farringford. "his business is very irregular. in other words, he is a blackleg, at forstellar's or on the river." "no matter what he is; you can't knock him down and rob him in the streets of st. louis," said the sergeant. "have you either the pocket-book or the purse, farringford?" "i have the pocket-book," replied my father, producing it. "did you take this from mr. lynch?" asked the officer, as the pocket-book was handed to him. "i did not." "his son did," said lynch, with a sneer. "what do you mean by his son?" demanded mr. gray, with a smile. "he told me the boy was his son." "when did he tell you so?" asked the sergeant, quietly. "after he had knocked me down," replied lynch, wincing under the question, which was evidently put for a purpose. "then you talked over their relationship while the boy held you on the ground?" suggested mr. gray. "no; farringford only called the boy his son." "what did he say to him?" "he called him his son, and told him to hold me fast." "before he took your pocket-book from you?" "no; afterwards, while he was looking to see what was in it." "this is not the way robberies are usually committed," added the sergeant. "i never heard of one robber holding a man down while the other looked to see what the pocket-book contained." "did farringford call you his son?" asked mr. gray, turning to me. "yes, sir, he did; but not while i held lynch down. it was while we were in plum street," i replied. "what trick were you engaged in?" demanded mr. gray, rather sternly. "why did he call you his son?" "i am his son. he is my father," i answered. farringford looked at me with an expression of disapproval, as if to reproach me for the falsehood he believed i had uttered. chapter xiv. in which phil recovers his money. "you don't mean to say that farringford here, whom everybody in st. louis knows, is your father--do you?" continued mr. gray, apparently amazed at the absurdity of the proposition, while his friend and the sergeant laughed heartily. "that is precisely what i mean to say," i replied, in the most determined tone. farringford shook his head, and was apparently sorry that i had turned out to be such an abominable liar. "what is your name?" inquired the sergeant. "philip farringford." i had taken especial pains not to give my full name to my father when he questioned me, and he doubtless supposed that i had invented the name for the occasion. he looked at me, and shook his head. very likely, by this time, he was willing to believe i had deceived him, and that i had lost no money, for if i could lie about one thing i could about another. "do you justify this young man in calling you his father, farringford?" said mr. gray. "i am sorry to say i cannot. gentlemen, i have endeavored to act in good faith," replied my father. "i have always found that the truth would serve me better than falsehood." "did you call him your son?" "i did, but used the expression as a kind of harmless fib to carry my purpose with this lynch, who had robbed the boy of nearly a hundred dollars." "it is false!" exclaimed lynch. "keep cool, if you please, sir," interposed the sergeant. "we have heard your story, and now we will hear the other side." "philip may have deceived me, but i believed that he had been robbed, and i did the best i could to get his money back, after he had pointed out to me the man who took it from him. certainly he is not my son. i never saw him till yesterday; and i am sorry he has thought it necessary to repeat my fib, or falsehood, if you please," continued farringford. "nevertheless, i hope i shall be able to prove in due time that he is my father," i added. "but, my lad, everybody knows that farringford has no children," said mr. gray. "never mind that now. i want to know whether any robbery has been committed," interposed the sergeant, impatiently. "let the boy tell his own story," replied mr. gray. "here is lynch's purse," i began, handing it to the sergeant. "then you did take these things from him?" "i did; but he told me to put my hand in his pocket and take out the pocket-book and the purse." "very probable!" sneered lynch. "it's all true," said farringford. "well, go on, young man." "i was coming down the missouri river in the steamer fawn--" "she arrived last tuesday morning," interposed mr. lamar, the gentleman with mr. gray. "yes, sir. i was with mr. gracewood and his family." "what gracewood?" "henry." "is he a brother of robert gracewood of glencoe?" "i don't know. he had a brother in st. louis," said mr. lamar, who was an elderly gentleman, and appeared to know everybody and everything. "he bought a place at glencoe a year ago." "his wife's brother was a mr. sparkley." "it's the same man. but he separated from his wife years ago, cleared out, and has not been heard from since." i explained that the family had been reunited, and were on their way to st. louis. i had endeavored to find mr. gracewood's brother, but without success, in order to inform him of what had occurred up the river. the fact that he had moved from the city explained why i had not found his name in the directory. i continued my story, with frequent interruptions, much to the disgust of the sergeant, who was interested only in the criminal aspect of the case. i told how lynch had robbed me at leavenworth, how i had identified him in st. louis, and followed him and farringford from forstellar's to front street. "every word of that story is true so far as it relates to me," said farringford. "i watched lynch and farringford, the former trying to get rid of the latter all the time, until at last he laid violent hands upon him," i continued. "i couldn't stand it any longer; i went up behind lynch, threw my hands around his neck, and stuck my knees into his back till he went down. he begged me to let him up, and promised to restore my money if i would. then, when i was not willing to let him up without some security, he told me to take his pocket-book and purse. that was just what was going on when these gentlemen came out of plum street." "then you did not knock him down till he laid hands upon farringford?" added the sergeant. "no, sir; i did not till he took hold of my father." "your father!" exclaimed mr. gray. "the rest of your story is so straightforward that i hoped you would abandon that fiction." "it is no fiction." "it matters not to me whether it is fact or fiction," interposed the sergeant. "i only wish to know whether or not a crime has been committed in st. louis. if the boy knocked this lynch down in order to save farringford from injury, it is no crime, whether father or not." "i cried, 'police!' as loud as i could, as soon as we struck the ground," i added. "can you identify your money?" asked the sergeant. "not every piece of it; but there was a five-dollar gold coin, with a hole through the middle, dated . the clerk of the fawn would not take it for my passage for five dollars." the officer poured the gold from the purse upon the table, and instantly picked out the coin i had described, which lynch had perhaps found it as difficult to pass as i had. he looked at the date, and declared it was . "that is very good evidence, my boy," said the officer, bestowing a smile of approval upon me. "can you give me any more." "if you can find captain davis, of the fawn, he will say that i left the boat with lynch." "where is he?" "he has gone up to alton with the fawn. when mr. gracewood comes, he will tell you the same thing." "your witnesses are not at hand. in what boat did you come down the river." "in the fawn." "and you, mr. lynch?" "in the daylight." "where from?" "st. joe." the sergeant continued to question and cross-question lynch for half an hour. his statements were confused and contradictory, and being based upon falsehoods, they could not well be otherwise. it appeared that the daylight, in which he had arrived, came down the river immediately after the fawn, which made my story the more probable. "i do not see that any crime has been committed in st. louis," said the officer, after his long and patient investigation. "then you don't call it a crime to knock a man down, and take his purse and pocket-book from him?" added lynch, in deep disgust. "i believe the young man's story," replied the officer. "if your money had been taken from you by force, you would not have walked quietly through the streets with those who robbed you, passing an officer on your way without hinting at what had happened. the young man's story is straightforward and consistent, except as to his relations with farringford, which is not material. i am of the opinion that you commenced the assault upon farringford." "not so." "both farringford and the young man agree in all essential points." lynch growled and protested, but finally declared that he was satisfied to let the matter drop where it was. he had recovered his money, and he could not complain. "but i have not recovered mine, and i am not satisfied," i added, feeling that the discharge of lynch was total defeat to me. "you were robbed in the territory of kansas, and not in the city of st. louis," replied the officer. "must i lose my money for that reason?" "certainly not; but the complaint against lynch must be made at leavenworth, and a requisition from the governor of the territory must be sent here." the case was full of difficulties, and lynch, in charge of a policeman, was sent out of the room to enable us to consider the best means of proceeding. i could not go back to leavenworth very conveniently, and it would cost me more than the amount of money i had lost. we decided to let the matter rest till the next day, and lynch was called in again. "i propose to detain you till to-morrow, when farringford will complain of you for an assault," said the officer. "i would rather give a hundred dollars than be detained," said lynch. "we don't settle cases in that way. of course we intend to reach the robbery matter in some manner." "i will give the boy the money he claims to have lost," added the culprit. "if you wish to restore the money, you can," replied the sergeant. "i do not admit the truth of his story." "then you shall not give him any money. you shall not be swindled here." "if i admit the--" "don't commit yourself unless you choose to do so. whatever you say may be used as evidence to convict you." "you put me in a tight place," said lynch. "if i commit myself, you will prosecute me. if i don't commit myself, i cannot give the boy the money." "i did not say i should prosecute you. the crime, if any, was committed beyond the limits of this state. i cannot enter a complaint. the young man may do so if he thinks best." "can i make phil a present of a hundred dollars?" demanded lynch, desperately. "you can do as you please with your own money," answered the officer. the robber counted a hundred dollars from his pocket-book, and handed it to mr. lamar, who declared that the amount was right, and the bills were good. it was passed to me; but i declined to receive any more than i had lost, and changing a bill, i returned two dollars and a half. "i will make no complaint for assault now," said farringford. "then i cannot detain him. if the young man chooses to complain of lynch in leavenworth, he is still liable to prosecution." "i will risk that," said lynch, more cheerfully. "you can leave," added the officer. the rascal promptly availed himself of this permission, and left the office. "i am sorry to have a case settled in that manner. i know that man as a notorious blackleg," continued the officer. "i don't see that it could be settled in any other way now," replied mr. gray. "we have done nothing to prejudice the interests of justice. the young man can prosecute now." "i can't afford to go to kansas to do so," i replied. "we will keep watch of him," said the sergeant. we all left the office together. the two gentlemen who had manifested so much interest in the affair were unwilling to part with farringford and me. mr. gray asked me what had induced me to say that farringford was my father. "it's a long story, gentlemen; and i have to convince him as well as you of the truth of what i say. if you will go to my boarding-house i will do so." i told them where it was, and they consented to accompany me. when we reached the house, mrs. greenough was astonished at the number of my visitors, but i conducted them all to my chamber. chapter xv. in which phil produces the relics of his childhood. having seated my party in my chamber, i told the last part of my story first. i began by saying that i had been brought up on the upper missouri, by matt rockwood, relating all my experience down to the present moment, including the history of the gracewoods. "that's all very well, phil; but where were you born?" asked mr. gray. "you left that part out, and told us everything except that which we wished to know." "i don't know where i was born. you must ask my father?" "do you still persist in saying that farringford is your father?" "i still persist." "but he has no children." "i had one child," interposed farringford, trembling with emotion, as well as from the effects of inebriation. "i remember," said mr. lamar. "you lost that child when the farringford was burned." "yes," replied my father, with a shudder. "will you state precisely how that child was lost, sir?" i continued. "i would not ask you to do so if it were not necessary, for i know the narrative is painful." "i suppose you claim to be this child, which, if i remember rightly, was a girl," added mr. lamar. "no; it was a boy," responded mr. farringford. "gentlemen, i shall leave you to draw your own conclusions, after you have heard the rest of the story." "can it be possible that you are my lost child, philip?" said my father. "let us see the evidence before we decide," i replied. "now, how was the child lost?" "my wife's brother, lieutenant collingsby, was stationed at a fort on the upper missouri. my wife was anxious to see him, and we started in one of the steamers i owned then, with our little boy two years old," mr. farringford began. "the boat had our family name, and was the finest one i owned. we enjoyed the trip very much. i didn't drink very hard at that time, gentlemen, though i occasionally took too much in the evening, or on a festive occasion. on the night the steamer was burned, we were within thirty miles of the fort to which we were going, and where we intended to remain till the farringford returned from her trip to the mouth of the yellowstone. i know my wife did not undress the child, because we hoped to reach the fort, and spend the night at the barracks. "expecting to part with the passengers that evening, we had a merry time; and i drank till i was, in a word, intoxicated. i supplied whiskey and champagne for everybody on board, not excepting the officers, crew, and firemen, who would drink them. even the two or three ladies who were on board partook of the sparkling beverage. wishing to reach the fort as early as possible, i told the firemen and engineers to hurry up when i gave them their whiskey. they obeyed me to the letter, and the furnaces were heated red hot. i do not know to this day how the boat took fire; but i do know that a barrel of camphene, belonging to some army stores on board, was stove, and its contents ran all over the forward deck. "all hands worked hard to save the boat; but they worked in vain. the pilot finally ran her ashore. i pulled down a door, and carried it to the main deck aft, while my wife conveyed the child to the same point. the fire was forward, so that we could not leave the boat by the bow, which had been run on shore. i placed my little one upon the door, wrapped in a shawl, with a pillow on each side to keep it from rolling into the water. the captain was to help my wife, while i swam behind the door, holding it with my hands. in this position, partially supported by the raft, i expected to be able to propel it to the shore. my plan was good, and would have been successful, without a doubt, if i had not been intoxicated. "when i was about to drop into the water, the stern of the boat suddenly swung around, and i lost my hold upon the raft. i had been lying upon the edge of the deck, with my leg around a stanchion, my head hanging over the water; and i think my position, in addition to the fumes of the liquor i had drank, made me dizzy. i lost the door, and i think i partially lost my senses at the same time. the steamer, as she swung around, slipped from the abrupt shore which held her. this movement created a tremendous excitement, amounting to almost despair, among the passengers and crew. the door was carried away from the steamer, and i lost sight of it. when i was able again to realize my situation, i tried to discover the door, but in vain. i threw a box, which the captain had prepared to support my wife, into the water, and leaped in myself. "the current swept the steamer down the river. i paddled my box to the shore, and landed." "on which side did you land?" i asked. "on the north side. i ran on the bank of the river, looking for my child. the glare from the burning steamer lighted up the water, but i could see nothing floating on the surface. i was the only person who had left the boat so far, and i followed her till, two or three miles below the point where i had landed, one of her boilers exploded, and she became a wreck. about one half of the passengers and crew were saved on boxes, barrels, and doors. by the aid of the captain my wife was brought to the shore. i shall never forget her agony when i told her that our child was lost. she sank senseless upon the ground; but she came to herself after a time. i wished that i had perished in the flood when i realized the anguish of losing my only child. i could not comfort her; i needed comfort myself. i spent the long night in walking up and down the banks of the river, looking for my lost little boy. below the place where most of the passengers landed i found many doors and other parts of the boat; but i could not find my child. "i reasoned that the current would carry the raft which bore up my child to the same points where other floating articles were found, and i was forced to the conclusion that my darling had rolled from the door and perished in the cold waters. i shuddered to think of it. before daylight in the morning another steamer appeared, coming down the river. we hailed her, and were taken on board. she proved to be one of my boats, and i caused the most diligent search to be made for my lost little one. about a mile below the point where the farringford had been run ashore we found a door, with one pillow upon it, aground on the upper end of an island. this discovery was the knell of my last hope. of course the child had rolled from the door and perished. i wept bitterly, and my wife fainted, though we only realized what seemed inevitable from the first. we discovered this door about daylight, and it was useless to prolong the search. the evidence that my child was lost was too painfully conclusive. "my wife wished to return home. we were going on a pleasure excursion, but it had terminated in a burden of woe which can never be lifted from my wife or from me. i drank whiskey to drown my misery. i was seldom sober after this, and i lost all my property in reckless speculations. i became what i am now. my wife never would taste even champagne after that terrible night. she in some measure recovered her spirits, though she can never be what she was before. after i had lost everything, and could no longer provide a home for her, she returned to her father. i have not seen her for five years; but i do not blame her. she was a beautiful woman, and worthy of a better husband than i was. you know the whole story now, philip. these gentlemen knew it before." "not all of it," added mr. lamar. "and now we can pity and sympathize with you as we could not before." "no; i deserve neither pity nor sympathy," groaned my poor father, trembling violently. "if i had not been drunk i should have saved my child." "perhaps it is all for the best, since the child was saved," said i. "it is impossible!" exclaimed farringford. "i cannot believe it. there was no one in that lonely region; and, if my child had reached the shore, it must have perished more miserably of starvation than in the water." "you say your wife did not undress the child, because you expected to reach the fort that evening," i continued. "do you know what clothes it had on?" "i ought to know, for i have tearfully recalled the occasion when i last pressed it to my heart, after supper that awful night. it wore a little white cambric dress, with bracelets of coral on the shoulders." "anything on the neck?" "yes; a coral necklace, to which was attached a locket containing a miniature of my wife." "in what kind of a shawl was it wrapped when you placed it on the door?" i asked, as i unlocked the bureau drawer in which i had placed the precious relics of my childhood. while he was describing it i took the shawl from the drawer. "is this it?" farringford trembled in every fibre of his frame as he glanced at the article. "it looks like it. i do not know whether it is the same one or not." i trembled almost as much as the poor inebriate in the excitement of the moment. "i should hardly consider that sufficient evidence," said mr. gray. "there are thousands of shawls just like that." "i intend to furnish more evidence," i replied, producing the stained and mildewed dress i had brought from the settlement. "do you know that dress, mr. farringford?" "it certainly looks like the one my child wore." it was examined by the gentlemen; but they thought the evidence was not yet conclusive, and i took the bracelets from the drawer. "did you ever see these before?" i asked, handing them to the palsied drunkard. "you will see the initials p.f. on the clasps." "i have seen these, and i know them well. they were given to my child by my brother philip," replied he, with increasing emotion. "there may be some mistake," suggested mr. lamar. "hundreds and thousands of just such trinkets have been sold in st. louis." "but these have the initials of my child upon them." "p.f. may stand for peter fungus, or a dozen other names," replied mr. gray. "the evidence is certainly good as far as it goes, but not conclusive." "what should you regard as conclusive, sir?" i asked, rather annoyed at his scepticism, which i regarded as slightly unreasonable. "evidence, to be entirely conclusive, must be susceptible of only one meaning," added mr. lamar. "the articles you have produced may have belonged to some other person, though it is not probable." "i don't know that i shall be able to satisfy you, but i will try once more," i replied, taking the locket from the drawer. i handed the locket to farringford. he grasped it with his shaking hands, and turned it over and over. he examined the necklace with great care, and then tried to open the locket. he trembled so that he could not succeed, and i opened it for him. he glanced at the beautiful face upon which i had so often gazed by the hour together. "my wife!" exclaimed he, sinking into his chair, and covering his face with his hands, sobbing convulsively like a child. "you are my son!" "perhaps not," interposed mr. lamar, very much to my disgust. but my poor father was satisfied, and sprang forward to embrace me. the excitement was too much for his shattered nerves, and he dropped fainting into my arms. we placed him upon the bed, and i went for mrs. greenough. chapter xvi. in which phil struggles earnestly to reform his father. the skilful ministrations of mrs. greenough soon restored my father to himself. he had probably eaten nothing since he took his breakfast with me early in the morning, and his frame was not in condition to bear the pressure of the strong emotions which had agitated him. "my son!" exclaimed he, as the incidents which had just transpired came back to his mind. "my father!" i replied. he extended his trembling hand to me, and i took it. it would have been a blessed moment to me if i could have forgotten what he was, or if i could have lifted him up from the abyss of disgrace and shame into which he had sunk. i hoped, with the blessing of god, that i should be able to do this in some measure. i determined to labor without ceasing, with zeal and prayer, to accomplish this end. "i pity you, my son," said my father, covering his eyes with his hands. it can be no joy to you to find such a father." "i should not be sincere, father, if i did not say i wished you were different." "philip,--if that is really your name,--i will reform, or i will die," said he, with new emotion. "i have something to hope for now. the good god, who, i believed, had deserted me years ago, has been kinder to me than i deserved." "he is that to all of us, father." "where did you get this locket, young man?" asked mr. lamar, who evidently believed there was still a possibility that a mistake had been made. i replied that i had found it in the chest of matt rockwood, who had taken me from the door in the river; and i repeated that part of my narrative which i had omitted before. "you need not cavil, gentlemen," interposed my father. "i am satisfied. i can distinguish the features of my lost son. if you knew my wife, you can see that he resembles her. look at the portrait, and then look at him." "i have seen mrs. farringford, but i do not exactly remember her looks," added mr. lamar. "matt rockwood is dead; but there is a living witness who saw the child he found only a day or two after it was picked up," i continued. "who is he?" "kit cruncher; he is at the settlement now, and has known me for eleven years. mr. gracewood, whom i expect in st. louis soon, has known me for six years, and has heard matt rockwood tell the story of finding the child." "if i am satisfied, no one else need complain," said my father. "there are no estates, no property, nor a dollar left, to which any claim is to be established. i am a beggar and a wretch, and an inheritance of shame and misery is all i have for him." "but you forget that your wife is still living, farringford," added mr. lamar. "her father is a wealthy man, and his large property, at no very distant day, will be divided among his three children." "very true; i did not think of that. i have so long been accustomed to regard her as lost to me that i did not think my boy still had a mother," answered my father, bitterly. "but when she sees him, she will not ask that any one should swear to his identity. she will know him, though eleven years have elapsed since she saw him." "but where is she?" i asked, anxiously. "i do not know, philip." "when did you see her last?" "it is four or five years since we met." "but haven't you heard from her?" "once, and only once. after she left me, and went back to her father, i tried to see her occasionally, for i have never lost my affection and respect for her. i annoyed mr. collingsby, her father, trying to obtain money of him. three years ago the family moved away from st. louis, partly, if not wholly, i know, to avoid me, and to take my wife away from the scene of all her misery." "where did they go?" "to chicago, where mr. collingsby was largely interested in railroad enterprises." "is the family still there?" "i do not know." "they are," added mr. gray. "but my wife is not there," said my father. "some one told me, a year ago, he had met her in europe, where she intended to travel for three years with her brother and his wife. really, philip, i know nothing more about her. i wish i could lead you to her." i was indeed very sad when i thought that years might elapse before i could see her who had given me being. "i will make some inquiries, phil, in regard to the collingsbys," said mr. lamar. "are you satisfied, sir, that i am what i say i am?" i asked. "i have no doubt you are, though perhaps your case is not absolutely beyond cavil. the old man who died might have found the body of the child, and taken the clothes and trinkets from it; but that is not probable." "but i can produce a man who has known me from my childhood," i replied. "you can, but you have not," added he, with a smile. "i will produce him if necessary. i hope you will see mr. gracewood when he arrives." "i will, if possible. but, farringford, was there no mark or scar of any kind on the child which will enable you to identify him?" "i know of none. perhaps his mother does," answered my father. "but i tell you i am satisfied. i ask for no proof. i know his face now. it all comes back to me like a forgotten dream." "very well; but, farringford, you have something to live for now," added mr. lamar. "i have, indeed," replied the trembling sufferer, as he glanced fondly at me. "i will try to do better." "when you feel able to do anything, we shall be glad to help you to a situation where you can do something to support your boy," said mr. gray. "i can take care of myself, gentlemen. i am getting three dollars a week now, and i hope soon to obtain more," i interposed. "three dollars a week will hardly support you." "i shall be able to get along upon that sum for the present. mrs. greenough is very kind to me." the two gentleman said all they could to inspire my poor father with hope and strength, and then departed. i was very much obliged to them for the interest and sympathy they had manifested, and promised to call upon them when i needed any assistance. "i am amazed, philip," said my father, when our friends had gone. "i knew that you were my father when we met in the evening at the planters' hotel," i replied. "you remember that you told me you had lost a child on the upper missouri." "i did; i was thinking then what a terrible curse whiskey had been to me. you looked like a bright, active boy, and i desired to warn you, by my own sad experience, never to follow in the path i had trodden. i did not suspect that i was talking to my own son; but all the more would i warn you now." "you thrilled my very soul, father, with your words, and i shall never forget them. i shall pray to god to save both you and me from the horrors of intemperance." "philip, i have resolved most solemnly, a hundred times, to drink no more; but i did not keep my promise even twenty-four hours." "is your mind so weak as that?" "mind! i have no mind, my son. i haven't a particle of strength, either of body or mind." "you must look to god for strength," said mrs. greenough, who had listened in silence to our conversation. "i have, madam; but he does not hear the prayer of such a wretch as i am." "you wrong him, mr. farringford," replied the widow, solemnly. "he hears the prayers of the weakest and the humblest. you have no strength of your own; seek strength of him. my husband was reduced as low as you are. for ten years of his life he was a miserable drunkard; but he was always kind to me. hundreds of times he promised to drink no more, but as often broke his promise. i became interested in religion, and then i understood why he had always failed. i prayed with my husband, and for him. he was moved, and wept like a child. then he prayed with me, and the strength of purpose he needed came from god. he was saved, but he never ceased to pray. he redeemed himself, and never drank another drop. before he died, he had paid for this house, besides supporting us very handsomely for ten years." "that is hopeful, madam; but i am afraid i am too far gone. i have no wife to pray with me," said my father, gloomily. "i will pray with you." throwing herself upon her knees before a chair, she poured forth her petition for the salvation of the drunkard with an unction that moved both him and me. i heard my father sob, in his weakness and imbecility. he was as a little child, and was moved and influenced like one. "you must pray yourself, mr. farringford," said she, when she had finished. "you must feel the need of help, and then seek it earnestly and devoutly." "i thank you, madam, for all your kindness. i will try to do better. i will try to pray," said he. "could you give me some more of the medicine i took last night and this morning? it helped me very much." "certainly i can. i will do everything in the world for you, if you will only stay here and try to get well." she left the room, and went into the kitchen to prepare the soothing drinks which the excited nerves of the patient demanded. "i will reform, philip. i will follow this good lady's advice. give me your hand, my son," said my father. "o, if you only would, father! this world would be full of happiness for us then. we could find my mother, and be reunited forever." "god helping me, i will never drink another drop of liquor," said he, solemnly lifting up his eyes, as i held his trembling hand. mrs. greenough opportunely returned with the medicines, and with a folded paper in her hand. as my father took his potion, she opened the paper, which was a temperance pledge, on which was subscribed the name of "amos greenough." "this is the pledge my husband signed, with trembling hand, ten years before his death. it was salvation to him here--and hereafter. will you add your name to it, mr. farringford?" said mrs. greenough. "i will." "not unless you are solemnly resolved, with the help of god, to keep your promise," she added. "not unless you are willing to work, and struggle, and pray for your own salvation." [illustration: phils father signs the pledge. page .] "i am willing; and i feel a hope, even now, madam, that god has heard your prayer for a poor wretch like me." "sign, then; and god bless you, and enable you to keep this solemn covenant with him." she took the writing materials from the bureau, and my father, with trembling hand, wrote his name upon the pledge. "may god enable me to keep it!" said he, fervently, as he completed the flourish beneath the signature. "amen!" ejaculated mrs. greenough. "may you be as faithful as he was whose name is on the paper with you." "stimulated by his example, and by your kindness, i trust i shall be," said my father. mrs. greenough then provided a light supper for him, of which he partook, and very soon retired. i told my kind landlady that i had recovered my money, and should now be able to pay my father's board for a time. she had not thought of that matter, and would be glad to take care of him for nothing if she could only save him. as i went to bed i could not but congratulate myself upon finding such a kind and devoted friend as she had proved to be. chapter xvii. in which phil meets the last of the rockwoods. the next day my father was quite sick; but mrs. greenough was an angel at his bedside, and i went to my work as usual. i was filled with hope that the wanderer might yet be reclaimed. though i longed intensely to see my mother, i think if i had known she was in the city i should not have sought to find her, for i desired to carry to her the joyful news of the salvation of my father. when i could say that he was no longer a drunkard, i should be glad to meet her with this intelligence upon my lips. but she was wandering in distant lands. plenty and luxury surrounded her, while i was struggling to earn my daily bread, and to take care of my father. the fact that she was in affluence was consoling to me, and i was the more willing to cling to my father in his infirmities. when i went to work that morning i was introduced to a plane and a plank--to test my ability, i supposed, for the men had not yet finished shingling the roof. a plank partition was to be put up in order to make a counting-room in one corner of the storehouse. i had never in my life seen a plane till i came to st. louis; but i had carefully observed the instrument and its uses. conant told me how to handle it with ease and effect, and instructed me in setting the iron, so as to make it cut more or less deeply, according to the work to be done. it was hard work, harder than boarding or shingling; but i made it unnecessarily severe for the first hour, and though it was a cool day, the sweat poured off me in big drops. i had not yet got the hang of the thing; but when conant came from the roof for a bundle of shingles, he looked in to see how i succeeded. a little more instruction from him put me on the right track, and i worked much easier; in a word, i learned to use the plane. after removing the rough side from the plank, it was a relief to handle the smoothing-plane, and i polished off the wood to my own satisfaction and that of my employer. in the afternoon i was sent upon the roof again to lay shingles, and we finished that part of the job before night. at six o'clock all the hands were paid off for their week's work. i felt considerable interest in this performance. i had worked three days, and at the price agreed upon i was entitled to a dollar and a half. "i shall not want you any longer, blair," said mr. clinch to the young fellow of whom conant had spoken so disparagingly to me. "i owe you six dollars; here is the amount." "you don't want me any longer?" replied blair, as he took his wages. "no." "why not?" "you don't suit me. i can't afford to pay you six dollars a week for what you do," answered the employer, bluntly. "you don't understand the business, and you don't try to learn it. that boy there does twice as much work in a day as you do." i did not think it right to hear any more of this conversation, and moved away. though i was pleased with the compliment, i was sorry to have it bestowed upon me at the expense or to the disparagement of another. i walked around the building, but i was soon sent for to receive my wages. "phil, you have done remarkably well," said mr. clinch; "and i want to use you well. you handle a plane well for one who never saw one before, and i think you were born to be a carpenter." "thank you, sir," i replied. "you give me all the credit i deserve." "and i give you a dollar a day for your work, for you have done twice as much as i expected of you," he added, handing me three dollars. "i supposed you would be in the way at first, and i only took you to oblige captain davis." "i have done the best i knew how, and shall always do so; but i don't ask any more than you agreed to give me. i am entitled to only half of this." "yes, you are. i agreed to give you more if you were worth it. conant says you have done a man's work most of the time. of course you can't do that on the average. but you will be worth about a dollar a day to me, now that i have discharged morgan blair." "thank you, sir; you are very kind." "kind! nonsense! i am only doing the fair thing by you. when i think you are worth more than a dollar a day, i shall give it to you. on the other hand, i shall discharge you when i don't want you, or when you are lazy or clumsy. i always speak my mind." i saw that he did, to blair as well as to me, and i was very thankful for having obtained so good an employer. i was determined to merit his good will by doing my duty faithfully to him. i went home, and found my father more comfortable than in the morning; but he was still very sick, and unable to leave his bed. in the evening i went out to purchase a suit of clothes, which i so much needed. i obtained a complete outfit, which would enable me to attend church the next day, looking like other young men of my age, in the humbler walks of life. mrs. greenough had been very particular in urging me to be prepared for church and sunday school, and had even offered to lend me money to purchase the needed articles. i told her i had never been to church in my life, and i was very glad of the opportunity. when my bundle was ready i turned to leave the store. a young man, whose form and dress looked familiar to me,--though i did not see his face, for he was looking at the goods in a glass case,--followed me into the street. "phil," said he; and i recognized the voice of morgan blair, the young man who had been discharged that afternoon by mr. clinch. i paused to see what he wanted, though i was not very anxious to make his acquaintance after what i knew of him. "what is it?" i asked. "i want to see you about a matter that interests me," he added. "what is that?" "they say you came from way up the missouri river. is that so?" "that's so." "conant said you did. i want to know something about the country up there, and i suppose you can tell me." "what do you want to know?" "i have an uncle up there somewhere, and i want to find him if i can." "do you know in what region he is located?" i inquired. "i do not; that is what i want to ascertain. conant told me you came from that country, and i meant to talk with you about it; but you put my pipe out, and i was discharged to-day. i saw you go into that store, and i thought i would wait for you." "what do you mean by putting your pipe out?" "didn't you put my pipe out?" "i didn't even know that you smoked." "you are rather green, but you have just come from the country. i meant that you caused me to be discharged." "i did?" "you heard clinch say that i did not do half as much work as you did?" "yes; i heard that; but it was not my fault." "i didn't do any more than i could help, and you put in all you knew how. if you hadn't come, clinch never would have suspected that i wasn't doing enough for a boy. i don't believe in breaking your back for six dollars a week. but never mind that now. when can i see you and talk over this other matter with you?" "i can tell you now all i know," i replied. "i think i shall go up the missouri, if i have any chance of finding my uncle." "you can't go up this season. no steamers leave so late as this. when did you see your uncle?" "i never saw him, and i shouldn't know him if i met him to-night. he has been up in the woods for twenty years, i believe." "what is his name?" "rockwood." "rockwood!" i exclaimed, startled by his answer. "yes; my mother was his sister." "what was his other name?" "matthew. he left illinois before i was born; but my mother heard from him about ten years ago. somebody--i don't know who it was--saw him at a wood-yard, and he sent word by this person that he was alive and well, but did not think he should ever come back to illinois. his name was matthew rockwood. did you ever hear of such a man?" "i have, and i knew him well." "you don't say so!" replied he, astonished in his turn. "where is the place?" "on the missouri, between bear and fish creeks." "well, i don't know any better now than i did before. what was the old man doing?" "he has been hunting, trapping, and selling wood; but he is not living now." "dead--is he?" "yes; he died last spring." "you don't say it!" "there was some trouble with the indians in that region, and he was shot in a skirmish with them." "the last of them is gone, then," added blair. "matt rockwood had a brother--did he not?" "he did have--but he is dead; and my mother died two years ago. and so uncle matt is dead too?" "yes." "the man that told my mother about him thought he must be making money out there, for he sold a great deal of wood to the steamers. do you know anything about it?" "i know all about it." "you lived near him, then?" "i lived with him. to tell the whole story in a few words, i was brought up by matt rockwood, and i was at his side when he was killed by the indians. but here is my boarding-house, and i don't care about going any farther." "but i want to know more about my uncle." "come in, then." i conducted him up stairs to mrs. greenough's kitchen; and, after ascertaining that my father was still very comfortable, i seated myself with morgan blair. "it is a little odd that i should stumble upon you," said he. "rather," i replied; and it seemed to be another of my mishaps, for in him had appeared an heir to matt rockwood's little property, which had come into my possession. i told him all about his uncle; how he had lived and how he had died. "did he have any property?" asked blair. "why do you ask?" "why do i ask? well, that's a good one! my father and mother are both dead, and i suppose i am the last of the rockwoods. i am now out of business, with less than ten dollars in the world; and why do i ask whether my uncle had any property?" "he had his farm--a quarter section of land," i added. "how much is it worth?" "perhaps it is worth as much as it would cost you to go up there and back." "that's hopeful." "there were a couple of horses, a lot of hogs, a log house and barn, and the farming tools." "well, what are they worth?" "they are worth considerable to a person who wishes to live up there." "but i don't wish to live up there." "then they are worth whatever you can sell them for. kit cruncher has the farm; but i think you will find that squatter sovereignty prevails up there; and a man in possession, without any claim, is better off than a man with a title, but not in possession." "then i have no chance, you think?" "on the contrary, i know that kit cruncher is an honest man, and if you prove your claim, he will either pay you the fair value of the place, or give it up to you." "but didn't my uncle have any money?" "yes; he left about nine hundred dollars in gold," i replied. "whew!" exclaimed blair, opening his eyes. chapter xviii. in which phil calls upon mr. lamar, and does not find him. i had heard nothing from mr. gracewood since my arrival in st. louis. he had in his possession all the moneyed property which had come to me from the estate of matt rockwood. i had placed no little dependence upon the fifteen hundred in gold, which i regarded as my inheritance; and now an heir appeared, who certainly had a better legal claim than i had. "nine hundred dollars!" exclaimed morgan blair again, and with as much satisfaction as though this large sum was already in his own hands. "and after his death we sold off wood and produce enough to amount to over seven hundred dollars more." "better and better," added blair. "go on, phil; perhaps you can make it up to two thousand." "i can't very easily make it any more," i replied. "well, i'm satisfied as it is. now, can you tell me where this money is?" "a friend of mine has fifteen hundred dollars in gold, and i have his note for it." "exactly so; and perhaps you won't object to handing the note over to me, and telling me where i can find your friend." "i must say that i do object." "you do?" "certainly i do." "but i am the last of the rockwoods. don't you think i look like my uncle matt?" "i don't see it." "nor i; but my mother said i did. be that as it may, you must see that this money belongs to me, and not to you." "i don't even see that." "don't be mean about it, phil." "i don't intend to be. i have told you the whole truth, and now i don't care about talking any more on the subject." "that's rather cool. you have my money, and you won't give it to me." "certainly not; i don't know anything about you. i never even heard old matt say he had a sister." "that's nothing to do with me. he did have one, and i am her son." "it's no use to say anything more about it. when mr. gracewood, who has the money, arrives, i will speak to him about it." "but i can't wait." "you must wait." "couldn't you let me have a little of it?" persisted he. "no, i could not. you haven't proved your claim yet." "i will prove it." "when you have done so, the money shall be paid." "but i must go to vandalia to obtain the proof; and i haven't money enough to pay my expenses." "i can't help that." "haven't you any money?" "i have, and i intend to keep it for my own use." "but the money is mine. i am the last of the rockwoods. i know you have nearly a hundred dollars; or you had before you went into that shop. that money is mine, and when you spend a dollar of it you steal it. that's what's the matter." "i think you have said enough about it, and we will end up the matter here," i replied, disgusted with his impudence, and wondering how he knew that i had nearly a hundred dollars. i refused to say anything more, and he threatened me with the terrors of the law, and even with his individual vengeance. he teased me to let him have fifty dollars on account, and declared he would have me arrested if i did not comply. finally i put on my cap, and he followed me into the street, for i found i could get rid of him in no other way. as soon as he was outside of the door, i made a flank movement upon him, and returned to the house, shutting him out as i entered. he did not trouble me any more that night, but i expected to see him again soon. i was inclined to believe that he was what he represented himself to be, for i did not see how he could know anything about matt rockwood. it was very singular that he had stumbled upon me so blindly, and i regarded my fortune as already lost. i was sorry that matt's heir had appeared, for i had considered how convenient this large sum of money would be when i began to look for my mother. i had thought, as soon as my father's reformation was in a measure assured, of going to chicago to see my grandfather, mr. collingsby. my wages, even at six dollars a week, would no more than pay my father's and my own board. but i was fully determined to be honest; and, if the fifteen hundred dollars belonged to morgan blair, he should have it, as soon as he satisfied me that he was the "last of the rockwoods," even without any legal forms. the next day my father was a little better, and sat up a portion of the time. mrs. greenough nursed him most tenderly, and insisted that i should go to sunday school and to church in the forenoon. i dressed myself in my new clothes, and when my father saw me he smiled, and seemed to be proud of his boy. i went to sunday school at the church which my landlady attended; and i realized all my pleasant anticipations of the occasion. i was put into a class of boys of my own age, and listened attentively to the instructions of my teacher, who, i afterwards learned to my surprise, was one of the wealthiest merchants in the city, though he was very plain in his manners and in his dress. what was so new and strange, and withal so exceedingly pleasant to me, is familiar to all my readers, and i need not describe it. mr. phillips, my teacher, had an attentive scholar in me, and immediately took an interest in me. he promised to call and see me some evening, and presented me a class book for use in the school and at home. i was astonished at his kindness and condescension, when mrs. greenough told me who and what he was. the services in the church were not less novel and interesting to me; and i am sure that i was deeply impressed by the prayers, the singing, and the sermon. in the afternoon i staid at home with my father, and mrs. greenough went to church. i read the bible and the library book i had obtained at the sunday school to him, and he was as much interested as i was. in the evening i went to the prayer-meeting; and when i retired i felt more like being good and true than ever before. on monday i was at the plane and plank again, and when night came i was never so tired in my life, not even when i had tramped through the woods for a day and a night. i did not go out; but mr. lamar and mr. gray called to inquire for my father. as i had told them all about my relations with matt rockwood, and that i had the money he had left, i ventured to ask their advice in regard to the claimant who had appeared in the person of morgan blair. "don't pay him a dollar," said mr. lamar, who was a very prudent man, as i had learned before. "i have no doubt he is the nephew of matt rockwood," i replied. "if he is, he must prove his claim. do nothing, phil, without the advice of your friends, especially mr. gracewood." "as he has the money, i shall not be likely to do anything." "the fellow may be an impostor," suggested mr. gray. "i think that is impossible. he came to me simply to inquire about the country on the upper missouri, and said he had an uncle up there. then he gave me the name of matthew rockwood. if he were an impostor, he could not have done that." "perhaps it is all right as you say; but don't pay him anything till we have the evidence," added mr. lamar. my friends left me, and the door had hardly closed behind them before morgan blair called to see me. he pressed me to let him have fifty dollars to enable him to go to vandalia; but i continued to refuse, and as before he waxed angry and threatened me. "it's no use, blair. i shall not let you have a dollar. i have consulted mr. lamar and mr. gray, and i act under their advice. if you want to do anything about it, go and see them." "i don't know them, and don't want to know them. my business is with you, and i will follow you till you give me that money. it belongs to me, and i ought to have it." "you can do as you think best; but following me won't do any good. if you will wait till mr. gracewood comes, he will be able to settle the question. he was with us when your uncle was killed. perhaps matt spoke to him about his sister." "do you doubt my word?" "no; but if i should pay this money to you, matt's brother might come after it." "i tell you he is dead." "that must be proved." "i suppose i shall have to prove that i'm not dead myself, by and by." "if you can prove the rest as easily, as you can prove that, you will be all right. when i hear from mr. gracewood i will let you know." "i can't wait." "very well; then go to work at once in the right way." "what's that?" "go to the territory where your uncle lived and died, have an administrator appointed, and he can legally claim the effects of matt rockwood," i replied, rehearsing the information imparted to me by mr. lamar. "i can't go up there." "go to a lawyer, then, and he will advise you what to do." "i haven't any money to pay a lawyer. i haven't a dollar left. i lost nearly all i had." "lost it? where?" "at forstellar's," he replied. "gambling?" "well, i played a little. i wanted to make a little money somehow." "but you didn't make any?" "made it out of pocket." "i should go to work if i were you." his confession gave me a new revelation in regard to his character, and i was the more determined not to let him have a dollar. he pleaded, begged, and threatened; but i was firm, and he left me. when i came home to dinner the next day, i found a letter from mr. gracewood in reply to mine. with trembling hands i opened it. the writer began by saying that he was very glad to hear from me, and that he had worried a great deal about me. mrs. gracewood had been very sick, but was now slowly improving. he did not think he should be able to leave for st. louis for two or three weeks. ella was well, and sent her regards to me. this was favorable news, and i was very much rejoiced to receive the letter. i wrote immediately, giving him a full account of what had happened to me since we parted, and sent the letter by the next mail. [illustration: phil reading the bible to his father. page .] my father improved very slowly, but i was not sure that his illness was not a blessing to him, for he was unable to go out of the house, and the process of weaning him from whiskey was thus assisted very materially. on saturday night, after i had been paid off, i found a letter at the house. i opened it, and looked first at the signature, which was pierre lamar. he wrote that he wished to see me about the money matter of which i had spoken to him, and desired me to call at a place in fourth street which he designated. in a postscript he requested me to bring the note which mr. gracewood had given for the money. after supper, with the note in my pocket, i hastened to the place indicated. it appeared to be a dwelling-house, and i rang the bell at the front door, which was presently opened by a man in a white jacket. i asked for mr. lamar, and was assured that he was in his room. i was conducted up three flights of stairs, and the man knocked at a door. i thought mr. lamar ought to be able to afford better accommodations for himself; but the door opened, and i entered the room. i looked for my friend; but instead of him, i saw only mr. leonidas lynchpinne and morgan blair. chapter xix. in which phil finds himself a prisoner in the gamblers' room. i was not suspicious; i had no idea that any one intended to wrong me. i was even willing to believe that morgan blair was sincere, and really thought that i ought to advance him money from the estate of his uncle, even before he had proved his claim. after all, it is pleasant to believe that no one intends to injure you; it is even better to be occasionally deceived than to be always suspicious. i went up the stairs in the house to which the note from mr. lamar had given me the address without a suspicion that anything was, or could be, wrong. i had never before seen the handwriting of my correspondent, and had no reason to suppose that the note was a fraud upon me. though i had had a sharp experience of the villany of men since i came from my home in the wilderness, i was still a child in the ways of the great world. i entered the room to which i had been conducted by the man in a white jacket, and the door was instantly closed behind me and locked. the apartment was an attic chamber, on the fourth floor of the house, and contained the ordinary furniture of a bedroom. mr. leonidas lynchpinne, otherwise lynch, sat in a rocking-chair, smoking a cigar. blair had slipped in behind me when i entered in order to secure the door; and having done this, he took a chair near the blackleg. on a small table, over which hung the gas-light, was a silver box, such as i had seen in the hands of redwood at leavenworth. it contained a pack of cards, and another lay upon the table. there was also a dice-box, and some other gambling implements, of which i do not even know the names. i concluded, from the position of the parties and the articles on the table between them, that lynch had been giving the young man a lesson in the art of winning money. "how are you, phil farringford?" said lynch, with a sort of triumphant smile, which indicated the pleasure he felt at the success of his trick. "how are you, mr. leonidas lynchpinne?" i replied, cheerfully; for i felt it to be my duty to demonstrate that i was not alarmed at my situation. the demonstration was not a feint, either. i felt an utter contempt for lynch, and, now that i realized his rascality, for morgan blair. i had fought the savage indians in the forest, which had developed my courage, if nothing more. i glanced around the room, and saw at the grate an iron poker, with which i thought i might neutralize the odds against me, in case the interview resulted in anything more dangerous to life and health than mere words. the letter, in its postscript, as though it had been an afterthought, requested me to bring mr. gracewood's note. blair had asked me to give it up to him. i was inclined to think that the parties before me wanted this note, though i could not imagine what earthly use it could be to them. "you need not call me by that name any longer," added lynch, biting his lip, and evidently vexed to find that i was not intimidated by my situation. "as you gave me the name of leonidas lynchpinne, i shall consult my own inclination, rather than yours, in the use of it." "you will change your tune before you are an hour older, phil." "if i do i shall take the pitch from you." "you are here at my summons, my lad." "i see now that i am; brought here by a lie and a swindle, which seem be your stock in trade." "don't be impudent, phil." "if you speak to me like a gentleman, i will answer you in the same way. you need not put on airs." "i have business with you, phil." "i have no business with you; and i respectfully decline having anything whatever to do with you." "your declination is not accepted. i want to tell you that i never forget a friend or forgive an enemy." "i have fought indians before, and though i don't like the business, i can do it again." "do you call that talking like a gentleman, phil?" "no gentleman ever utters an indian sentiment." "you are in my power, phil, and you had better come down from that high horse." "i'm not in your power, and never shall be till i become a thief, a blackleg, and a swindler," i replied, calmly, as i glanced at morgan blair, who, i thought, was completely in his power. "what!" exclaimed lynch, springing to his feet, his face red with anger. i fell back two or three steps, and quietly took up the poker, which rested against the bracket at the side of the grate. "what are you going to do with that?" demanded he. "that will depend upon circumstances." "drop that poker!" "for the present i shall regard this poker as a part of myself; and i hope you will so regard it." "you impudent puppy!" "foul words are cheap, defiling only him who utters them," i added, quoting a sentence from the instructions of mr. gracewood. "i'm not to be trifled with, phil," said lynch, taking a small derringer pistol from his pocket. "that's just my case," i answered, elevating the poker. "look here, lynch," interrupted morgan blair, rising from his chair in evident alarm, "if you are going to use pistols and such things, i won't have anything to do with the scrape." "shut up, blair!" replied lynch. "i won't!" "you are a fool!" exclaimed the older villain, dropping into his rocking-chair with an expression of utter disgust upon his face. i felt that i was fighting my battle very well indeed, and i was encouraged in the course i had chosen. "i don't want any shooting where i am," said blair. "i'm willing to lick him within an inch of his life, if he don't play fair, but i don't want him shot." [illustration: phil defies lynch. page .] "i don't intend to shoot him, unless he attacks me with that poker. i want to show him that two can play at his game," added lynch. "will you drop that poker, phil?" "i will not." "if you undertake to use it, i want you to understand that pistol balls travel faster than pokers." "very true; and if you are satisfied with your pistol, i am with my poker. i am ready to end this meeting at any time." "i am not ready to end it. i have business with you. i don't forgive an enemy." "i do, when he deserves to be forgiven." "none of your cant! i'm not going to a prayer-meeting with you now." "it would do you good to go to one; and i know of no one who needs to go any more than you." "if you can hold your tongue long enough, we will proceed to business, phil." "i have no business to proceed to; and i'm going to speak as i feel inclined," i replied, resting the poker in a chair near me. "i have business with you, if you have not with me. as i told you, i never forgive an enemy." "as i told you before, that is an indian sentiment." "will you hold your tongue?" "no, sir, i will not." "you knocked me down in the street, and took my money from me." "at your request i took it; and you were kind enough to pay me the balance in my favor when we parted at the police station," i replied. "you must give me back that money, phil." "not if i know it. let me remind you that the money belonged to me, and that i did not charge you any interest upon it for the time you had it." "the money wasn't yours. it belonged to matt rockwood. you stole it; and i intended to get all i could for my friend here, morgan blair, to whom all of it belongs." "you and your friend seem to understand each other very well, except so far as the pistol is concerned." "i act for him. he is a young fellow, and don't know much about the ways of the world." "he appears to be learning very rapidly." "he is the rightful heir of the man up the river, whose money you have. i expect you to give it up to him." "and i expect to do so myself, just as soon as he proves the claim. though i think i have a better right to the money than he has, i will give it up whenever he satisfies me that he is the nephew of matt rockwood. if this is your business with me, you can't get ahead any farther with it to-night." "have you the note with you--the note of mr.--what's his name?" "mr. gracewood," added blair. "i respectfully decline to answer," i replied. "but you must give it up before you leave this house." "then i shall stay here longer than you will want to board me." "i don't intend to board you," sneered lynch. "you will neither eat nor drink till you give up this note, and the hundred dollars you got out of me at the police station." "so far as the money is concerned, i spent a part of it, and the rest i left at my boarding-house." "you can give me an order on your landlady for what you have left, and blair will go and get it." "i will not give him that trouble." "you prefer to stay here--do you?" "i do; this isn't a bad place to stay, and i can stand it here a while." "consider well your situation, phil. this is my room. i board here when i am in town, and--" "it's good enough for me, if it is for you." "it is a gambling-house, and the people who live here are my friends. i can bring in half a dozen men to help me." "bring them in," i replied, laughing, though i confess that i was not very much amused. "it's no joke." "it will not be for you when you are done with it. when my father misses me, he will be very likely to send for our friends, mr. lamar and mr. gray." "in a word, phil, will you give me that note." "in a word, i will not; and in another word, i will fight just as long as i have a breath in my body, if you or anybody else attempts to meddle with me." "phil, you go to prayer-meetings, and claim to be honest," continued lynch, changing his tone when he found that he did not terrify me. "i do go to prayer-meetings when i can, and i try to be honest." "i hope you will keep on trying. by the merest accident blair stumbled upon you, and turns out to be the heir of the man whose money you have. he is the last of the rockwoods. do you think it is honest to keep him out of his money?" "i'm not so sure now that he stumbled upon me." "didn't he ask you something about the upper missouri, and tell you he had an uncle there? and didn't he tell you the name of his uncle before you had mentioned it?" "he certainly did; but since i have found out what company he keeps, i begin to think you posted him up, and sent him to stumble upon me." "that's absurd." "not at all. didn't you hear me tell the whole story in the police station, mr. leonidas lynchpinne?" "i never saw him till after that," replied lynch, angrily, as he picked up the pistol, which he had laid upon the table. "it is useless to reason with you. come, blair, we will leave him here to think about it till morning." the villain moved towards the door, pointing his pistol at me. it was capped, and i supposed it was loaded. blair unlocked the door, and retreated into the entry. lynch followed his example, and as it was possible that he might fire at me, i did not deem it prudent to be the aggressor. i heard the door locked upon me. chapter xx. in which phil is startled by the sight of a familiar face. i actually laughed when i heard the bolt of the lock snapped upon me; partly because i thought it was better to laugh over my mishaps than to cry, and partly because the trick of which i had been made the victim was simply ridiculous. perhaps, if i had been a boy brought up in the city, and had never been thrown upon my own resources in times of peril, i might have taken a different view of the matter. i can easily believe that many boys would have been intimidated, and given up the money and the note. lynch ought to have known me better, though i had been a lamb at leavenworth. i seated myself in the rocking-chair, and looked around the room. there was a luthern window in it, which opened upon the roof. a cheerful coal fire burned in the grate, and the room was quite comfortable. i examined the silver card box on the table, and the other articles there; but i was not much interested in them, and soon gave myself up to a consideration of the situation. of course the whole trick was intended to intimidate me; but i positively refused to be intimidated. i supposed my persecutors would soon return, and renew the onslaught. for my own part, i could not see what they intended to gain, even if they obtained the note against mr. gracewood. it was stupid of them to imagine that he would give up the money to total strangers. still they must have believed he would let them have the gold, for they could not have taken all this trouble for the seventy dollars which i had. but it was no use to speculate upon their intentions. the note was safe in my pocket, and the money at my boarding-house. if i had supposed there was any possibility of the villains obtaining the former, i would have burned it on the spot, for i knew that mr. gracewood would pay the money whether there was any legal document to show for it or not. i rose from my chair, and walked to the door, in order to examine it. this same lynch had once before locked me into a room, and it was possible that i might break this door open, as i had done on the former occasion. but i found this was a different piece of work from that at leavenworth. it fitted well in the frame. i tried the handle, and found that it was securely locked. "no use, phil," said a voice in the entry, which i recognized as that of morgan blair. it appeared that my late fellow-workman was stationed as a sentinel at the door to prevent my escape. "where's lynch?" i asked, placing my mouth at the key-hole. "down stairs. are you ready to give up the note?" "no." "when you are, let me know." i made no reply, but walked to the window to see what the prospect was in that direction. i did not wish to stay in my prison a great while, for i knew that my father would worry about me if i did not return soon. i was in the hands of the enemy, and i was afraid that lynch would keep me in the room till the middle of the night, and then, with the aid of others, overcome me, and rob me of the note. i was not so well satisfied with the situation as at first, when i could realize the possibilities of the occasion. the window opened upon a steep roof. i raised the sash very carefully, so that blair might not know what i was about. but, then, i had hardly a hope of being able to escape in this direction; for i did not see how it was possible for me to descend to the street. however, i should be out of the reach of my inquisitors, even if i passed the night on the cold slates of the roof. i climbed out of the window, and my head swam when i looked down the fearful depth below me. i was on the rear slope of the roof, and beneath me was the back yard of the house. the darkness rather favored me, for i could not so readily measure distances, and in a short time i became accustomed to the giddy height, though i thought it best not to look down. holding on with one hand at the side of the luthern window, i closed the lower sash, and dropped the upper one. grasping the inside of the window-frame for support, i climbed up till my feet were placed upon the top of the two sashes. i could then reach the roof of the luthern window. a ledge on the top of it afforded me a good hold, and i drew myself up, though with considerable difficulty, and my breath was all gone when i reached the point, exhausted by the violence of my exertions. i lay where i was a few moments to recover my wind and my strength. i had placed the poker on the roof before i ascended, for i was afraid that i might yet have to fight a battle. i had worked very carefully, so as not to disturb the sentinel at the door of the room; and, so far as i could judge, i had been successful, for i heard nothing of him. i was on the top of the luthern window; and, so far as the inquisitors were concerned, i was safe. i preferred to stay there, though the night was quite chilly, rather than in the chamber of lynch. but if i could have my choice, it would suit me better to go home, and sleep in my own bed. about half way between the luthern window and the ridge-pole of the house there was a skylight. the light shone up through it, and i concluded from its position that it was used to light the entry where blair was keeping guard over the door. lying down on the slated roof, with my feet resting upon the luthern window, i found i could reach the upper end of the skylight with my hands. i looked through the glass into the entry below, and saw a gas-light burning there. under me was the door of the gambling-chamber, but blair was not there. i tried to raise the skylight; but it was secure, and could not be moved. it was at least fourteen feet above the floor, and the space between the glass and the ceiling of the entry was boxed in, forming a ventiduct for the passage of the air. if i could have opened the skylight, it would have been hardly prudent for me to drop down fourteen feet upon a hard floor, with the additional peril of encountering my enemies in going down the stairs. i could not see blair, and i concluded that he had heard me, in spite of all my precautions, and had gone to procure the aid of lynch. whether this view was correct or not, i decided to act upon it, and increase the distance between myself and my persecutors. grasping the upper part of the skylight, i dragged myself up to the point where i had placed my hands. here i paused to breathe again. while i was waiting i heard voices through the skylight. looking through the glass, i saw lynch and blair, the latter unlocking the chamber door. i immediately concluded not to rest any longer, and laying hold of the ridge-pole, i drew myself up, and took a seat astride the saddle-boards. the block extended as far as i could see in the gloom of the night. with my hands upon the saddle-boards, i hopped along like a frog till i was satisfied that i was out of the reach of any pursuers. but i began to be very anxious to reach _terra firma_ once more, and i continued to hop till i came to a four-story block with a flat roof. this was hopeful, and passing from the steep slope i found myself in a very comfortable position. i could discover no signs of any pursuers behind me; and i concluded that the inquisitors were not enterprising enough to follow me in the perilous track i had chosen. pleasant as was my present location compared with the slippery sides of the slated roof, i was not disposed to spend the night there. but i did not think it safe to jump down into the street, for i knew that the pavement could stand the shock of such a descent better than i could. on one of the roofs there were planks laid down, and places for lines, and i concluded that it was used for drying clothes. at every house i found a scuttle, and some of them were not fastened; but i did not like the idea of being captured as a burglar, and sent to the station-house to remain over sunday. i walked to the end of the block, where a cross-street interrupted my further progress in that direction. between the several tenements which composed the block there were brick walls rising about a foot above the flat roof. they were the dividing lines between the houses. i observed that the house at the corner of the cross-street occupied as much space as three of the others, and was planked all over, with stanchions for clothes-lines. i concluded that the building was used for a purpose different from the others. i went to the front, and looked down into the street. there were a couple of gas-lamps before the door, and people were constantly arriving and departing. i satisfied myself that the house was a hotel. in the rear of the roof there was a kind of crane, with a couple of ropes reaching to the ground. i reasoned that the apparatus was used for hoisting up baskets of clothes. i also found a scuttle door, which was not fastened, and i began to consider whether i should go down by the rope or by the stairs. i did not like the idea of dangling in the air fifty feet from the ground on the one hand, or of being captured as a thief on the other. if i went down the rope, it might drop me in some back yard, where i might be liable to suspicion if discovered. on the whole, i concluded that the stairs were the safer expedient, and i carefully opened the scuttle door. the steps led down to a well-lighted entry; and, having satisfied myself that no one was there, i descended, taking the precaution to hook the door behind me, which some careless servant had neglected to do, though i was not disposed to blame her for the neglect. passing down the steps, i came to a long entry, from which opened on each side the sleeping-rooms. the stairs were at the other end, and i walked as lightly as my thick boots would permit through the hall. at the stairs i heard the sound of voices on the floor below, and i paused. i concluded that the upper floors were used for sleeping-rooms, and that no one would remain long in the entry. presently i heard a door open, and then the sound of footsteps on the stairs below. as all was still again, i ventured to descend the steps to the next hall. i had hardly reached this floor before a gentleman came out of one of the rooms; but he passed me, and went down stairs without taking any notice of me. i was now on the third story, and must descend two more flights in order to reach the street. i was not a thief, and there was no stolen property upon me. but men in white jackets were always whisking about in hotels, as i had observed at the planters'. i determined to be ready with an answer if any of these fellows challenged me, and to tell the whole truth if i was detained. i had hardly reached this conclusion before a waiter in a white jacket confronted me, looked at me suspiciously, and demanded my business. "where is mr. rockwood?" i asked, using the name most familiar to me. "that's his room over there, where the door is open," said he, pointing towards the other end of the hall, and then continuing on his way up stairs. i walked in the direction indicated, intending to rush down stairs as soon as the waiter was out of hearing. i went as far as the open door, and looked into the apartment. a gentleman sat in an arm-chair, reading a newspaper. a glance at him startled me more than anything that had ever occurred to me before. that gentleman was matt rockwood, it seemed to me, dressed in his best clothes. he glanced from his paper into the entry, as i paused there. the face, the expression, the white beard,--everything about him was matt rockwood. chapter xxi. in which phil finds himself sixty-five dollars out. i repeat that i was startled when i saw the gentleman in the room with the open door. he was the very image of matt rockwood, who had taken me from the cold waters of the upper missouri, and brought me up in his log cabin. of course i could not believe it was old matt, for i had seen him fall before the rifle-shot of the indian, and had wept bitterly over his grave when his remains were committed to the earth. the gentleman before me was dressed better than old matt ever clothed himself; but his face was as brown from exposure, and his brow as deeply indented with wrinkles. if i had not known that my foster-father was dead, i should have been willing to declare, at the first glance, that this gentleman was he. "what do you want, young man?" said he, as i paused rather longer that politeness would tolerate before his door. his voice was that of matt rockwood; and, as i do not care to prolong a sensation, i at once jumped to the conclusion that the person before me was the brother of my foster-father, though morgan blair had assured me that he also was in his grave. "if you please, sir, i would like to speak to you," i replied to his question. "come in," he added, laying aside his newspaper. "what is your business with me?" i entered the room, which was a parlor, and from it a bedroom opened on one side. the apartments were very handsomely furnished, and as the gentleman before me was very well dressed, i concluded that fortune had dealt more kindly with him than with matt. "are you mr. rockwood?" i asked, gazing earnestly at him. "i am." "mr. mark rockwood?" "yes." "you had a brother, sir?" "i had." "and a sister?" "no; or rather i had two, but both of them died in their childhood," he replied, evidently astonished at my line of questions. he had no sister, and morgan blair's story, as i had suspected after i found him in the company of lynch, was all a fiction. "have you heard from your brother within a few years?" i inquired. "not for twenty years. but who are you, young man?" he demanded, evidently supposing that i had known his brother. at this moment the waiter of whom i had inquired for mr. rockwood appeared before the door and looked in. "what do you want, john?" asked the old gentleman. "nothing, sir; the young man with you inquired for your room, and i came to see if he found you," replied the servant, retiring. "who are you, young man, and why do you ask me these questions?" "i have seen your brother matthew since you have, and i did not know but you might wish to hear about him, though i haven't any good news for you." "you knew matthew, then?" "yes, sir; i lived with him about ten years. in fact, he brought me up." "but the last i heard of him, he had gone up the missouri river." "yes, sir; and it was there that i lived with him." "where is he now?" asked mr. rockwood; and i saw that he was considerably moved. "i am sorry to say i have no good news to tell you." "is he living?" "no, sir; he died last spring. but i want to tell you, before i say anything more, that no better man than your brother ever lived." mr. rockwood was silent for a few moments. doubtless the intelligence i communicated revived the memories of the past, when they had been children together. "i am glad to hear you speak well of him, young man, for really you could not say anything more pleasant of him," said mr. rockwood, at last. "since he is dead, nothing can be more comforting than to know that he was a good man. matt was always honest and straightforward; but he was almost always unfortunate, he failed in business, and left this part of the country discouraged and disheartened. i hope he was never in want, or anything of that kind." "no, sir; he always had plenty; and when he died he left some property." "i'm very glad to hear it, for i have had times when i worried a great deal about it. i tried to find out where he was, but i never succeeded. were you with him when he died?" "i was, sir," i replied, not a little embarrassed; for i did not like to reveal the manner of his death. "was he sick long?" "no, sir; he had been troubled with the rheumatism for two or three months; but he was able to be about on crutches at the time he died." "did he die of rheumatism?" "no, sir; he did not die of any disease, nor suffer any pain." "what do you mean, young man?" "he was shot, and instantly killed, in a fight with the indians." "poor matt!" exclaimed mr. rockwood, averting his gaze from me. "i was as near to him as i am to you now when he fell. he never moved or breathed after he went down," i added. "well, he had lived his threescore and ten, and perhaps one could not pass away any easier; but it is grating to one's feelings to know that his brother was shot." i related to him very minutely the history of matt rockwood; and he listened, as may well be supposed, with the deepest interest. "and so you found your father?" said he, as i concluded the narrative. "yes, sir; and i hope yet to save him from himself." "i hope so; and i am willing to do all i can for you and for him." "thank you, sir. as i said before, sir, your brother left about a thousand dollars in gold, and by selling wood and produce we made the amount up to about sixteen hundred dollars. a young man, by the name of morgan blair, says he is the son of matt's sister, and claims this money." [illustration: phil before the door of the southern planter. page .] "matt had no sister," replied mr. rockwood, smiling. i told him what had happened to me that night; but, as i related the story in a good-natured vein, he was rather amused at it. "then you did not come to this hotel to see me?" "no, sir; i blundered upon you;" and i explained how i had happened to be before his door when he discovered me, and why i had paused there longer than i intended. he laughed heartily at my story, but i noticed that he suddenly became sad whenever i alluded, directly or indirectly, to his brother. "we will take care of mr. morgan blair in due time," said mr. rockwood. "now, phil, what do you do?" "i am a carpenter." "where do you live?" i gave him mrs. greenough's address, and he wrote it down in his memorandum book. "but i must go home, sir; i ought to have gone long ago. i am afraid my father will think something has happened to me," i continued. "well i think something has happened to you. but i will not keep you any longer. i will go home with you, if you have no objection." "i should be very glad to have you, sir." "i should like to see your father." while he was putting on his overcoat, i took mr. gracewood's note from my pocket, and tendered it to him. "what's that, phil?" he asked. "it's a note for fifteen hundred dollars--the money your brother left and the proceeds of the sale of some of his property." "this is the note that those ruffians wanted?" he replied, taking the paper and reading it. "i think a little of it belongs to me, for i earned it after the death of your brother." "o, my boy, you shall have the whole of it! i will never touch a penny of it." "but it does not all belong to me." "every mill of it," said he, earnestly. "you took care of my brother when he was sick, and he brought you up. you have a better claim to his property than i have, or should have if i needed it, which i do not." "you are very kind, sir." "only just." we went down stairs, and i saw that all the people in the hotel treated mr. rockwood with "distinguished consideration." at his request, the landlord called a carriage, and i went home in state. i had never been in a carriage before, and i regarded it as a very pleasant mode of conveyance. "i am sorry i did not see you before, phil, for i must leave for the south in a day or two," said mr. rockwood, as the carriage drove off. "do you live at the south?" "yes; i have been in mississippi almost twenty years. i have a large plantation there. i made my fortune down there; but i don't think i shall remain there much longer. the climate don't agree with my wife as well as st. louis. i have been investing money in this city for several years, and when i can sell my plantation i shall come here to live. i own that hotel and the block of buildings with the flat roof over which you passed. i have to come here two or three times a year to look after the property; and my family generally spend the summer here. i hope i shall see more of you, phil." "thank you, sir." "if you were a little older, i could give you something better to do than carpentering." "i like that business, sir, and don't care about leaving it at present." the carriage stopped at mrs. greenough's, and we went up stairs. i was obliged to show my wealthy friend into the kitchen, for there was no fire in the parlor. however, there was not much difference between the two rooms. "i am so glad you have come home, phil!" said my landlady, descending the stairs when she heard me. "we have been really worried about you." "i am all right," i replied; and then i introduced mr. rockwood. mrs. greenough apologized for meeting him in the kitchen. she was obliged to stay with mr. farringford so much of the time that she did not keep a fire in the parlor. she would make one, if he would excuse her; but the distinguished gentleman declined to excuse her, and thought the kitchen was very comfortable and very pleasant. "and so you got out, phil," she added, turning to me. "out? how did you know anything about it?" i inquired, very much surprised to find that the intelligence of my adventure had preceded me. "why, a policeman has been here with your note." "my note! what note?" "didn't you write a billet to me?" she continued, bustling about to find the important document. "i am not aware that i did," i replied. "why, yes, you did, phil. where is it? i must have left it up stairs. i will go up after it." "but i haven't written any billet," i protested. "i will show it to you," said she, hastening up stairs to find the note. "your friends appear to have doubled on you, after all," laughed mr. rockwood. "i don't understand it, though i remember that in order to save the rascals the trouble of attempting to get any money out of me, i told them i had left my balance at home." mrs. greenough returned with the note, and handed it to me. i read it with astonishment and indignation. my name was signed at the end of it; but, of course, no part of the contents was written by me. in the note i was represented as informing the good lady that i had been arrested, and conveyed to the station-house; but i could be bailed out till monday by depositing sixty-five dollars with the sergeant of police. "who brought this?" i asked. "a man who said he was a policeman." "did you know him?" "no; but after consulting a long time with your father, we sent the money." "you did!" i exclaimed. i concluded that i was sixty-five dollars out. chapter xxii. in which phil returns to the den of the enemy. i felt that i could afford to lose sixty-five dollars better than ever before; but i did not like the idea of being swindled. it was especially repugnant to be overreached by such scoundrels as lynch and blair, though the latter appeared to be only the tool of the former. "i did not like to give the man the money, but your father thought that, as he was a policeman, it was all right," mrs. greenough explained. "your father was very much worried when he heard you were arrested." "i have not been arrested," i replied. "your father wishes to see you," added the landlady. "i will go up with you, if you please," said mr. rockwood. we went up to my father's room, where i introduced my new friend to him. it required some time, of course, to explain who and what the planter was, and how i had made his acquaintance. "then you have not been arrested," said my father. "no; but i was kept a prisoner by these scoundrels." "we must attend to them," added mr. rockwood, consulting his watch. "dear me! there is the door-bell again!" exclaimed mrs. greenough. "who can it be at this time of night!" "it is only half past nine," added the planter, as i took a light to answer the bell. "i think mrs. greenough had better go to the door, for i don't believe these scoundrels will be satisfied with sixty-five dollars." at this suggestion mrs. greenough answered the summons, and soon returned with another note--from me! i opened it, and read that i had been arrested in connection with the claim of morgan blair, and that when the police sergeant heard there was a note, which represented the property claimed, in my possession, he thought it was better to have it deposited with the chief of police for safe keeping. "these fellows evidently think you have not yet returned to your home, phil," said mr. rockwood. "i don't blame them much for thinking so, for i expected to stay on those roofs all night; and i think i should if you had not been so wise as to put a hotel in the block," i replied. "the man asked if phil was at home before he gave me the note," said the landlady, "and i evaded the question." "what shall we do?" asked my father, raising himself in the bed. "phil and i will pay a visit to these rascals," answered the planter. "have you an envelope?" "yes," i replied, producing one, with some paper. he folded up a sheet of paper, put it in the envelope, and requested the landlady to direct it to the chief of police. "where is this messenger?" asked mr. rockwood. "he is waiting in the kitchen." "very well, mrs. greenough. if you will close the door, so that we can get into the street without his knowledge, we will follow him up and attend to this business." the landlady went down stairs, and when she had closed the kitchen door, the planter and myself crept softly down stairs, and went into the street. we placed ourselves where we could identify the messenger when he came out of the house. he was evidently satisfied that the envelope contained the document for which he had been sent, for he immediately followed us out of the house. he was a well-dressed man, as we saw by the light of the corner street lamp. he wore a light-colored overcoat, so that we could easily follow him as he passed through the streets. mr. rockwood went behind him, while i walked on the other side of the street, and kept up with him. he went, as i supposed he would, to the house to which i had been enticed earlier in the evening. he went in by the aid of a night-key, and doubtless believed that he had fully accomplished the mission upon which he had been sent. "you are younger and more active than i am, phil," said mr. rockwood, when the man had entered the house and closed the door behind him. "if you will stay here, and follow any of the rascals if they come out again, i will get an officer." "very well, sir." the planter hastened to his hotel, and i stationed myself where i could see who left the house. my friend was not absent more than a quarter of an hour, and returned with two officers, whom the landlord of the hotel had procured for him. one of them was in uniform, and the other a detective in plain clothes. i concluded that mr. rockwood meant business, and instead of my spending sunday as a prisoner, this would be the fate of those who were trying to swindle me. "that's a gambling-house," said the policeman in uniform, when i pointed out the door where the man entered. "undoubtedly it is a gambling-house," replied the detective, gazing inquiringly at me, as though he was not quite satisfied with the story related to him by mr. rockwood; "but even a gambling-house has certain rights, which may not be disturbed without proper cause." "proper cause!" exclaimed mr. rockwood. "don't i tell you that this young man has been robbed and abused by the villains in this house?" "you will excuse me, sir, but it is possible to be mistaken. if i understand you, mr. rockwood, you met this boy for the first time about two hours ago." "but i have entire confidence in him. he is the son of edward farringford." "perhaps he is, though i do not believe it; but that is nothing to recommend him. his story is absurd on the face of it." "my story is true, sir, every word of it," i interposed, indignantly. mr. bogart, the detective, asked me a few questions in regard to my escape from the building, and i repeated all the particulars. he shook his head, and declared that he was unwilling to enter the house upon the strength of such a story. it would damage his reputation as an officer, and his superiors would not justify the measure. "i'll tell you what i will do," he continued. "well, what will you do?" demanded mr. rockwood, impatiently. "i will go with this young man to the top of the house, where he left the chamber of the gambler. i will follow him into the house by the window through which he came out." "i don't think you can get in at the window." "i suppose not," said mr. bogart, with a palpable sneer. "but i will go with you, and show you the window," i added. "i wish you would," replied the officer, who evidently believed that i should give him the slip before i verified my position. mr. rockwood and the policeman were to remain in the street and keep watch of the house during our absence. if the gambler's messenger who had gone to the house of mrs. greenough appeared, he was to be arrested. mr. bogart and myself went to the hotel, where, after my companion had spoken to the landlord, we ascended to the roof. "now, young man, if you will go ahead, i will follow you," said the detective. "i hope you are used to climbing," i replied. "don't borrow any trouble on my account; i will follow anywhere that you will lead." "all right, sir; i hope i shall soon be able to prove all that i have stated." "i hope so," replied he, in a tone which assured me that he did not expect anything of the kind. i led the way across the flat roof, and at the next block we mounted the ridge-pole of the pitch roof. mr. bogart cautioned me to move with care, so as not to disturb the inmates of the houses beneath us. i was soon in position to see the bright light streaming up from the tenement to which i had been decoyed by the villains. "that's the house," said i, pointing to the light. "did you come up through that scuttle?" he asked. "no, i came up over the top of the luthern window." "impossible!" exclaimed he, glancing at the window. "it is true; and i suppose i shall have to go in that way," i continued; and i explained minutely how i had made my exit from the chamber. "lead on. we will examine the house," said mr. bogart. on a nearer approach to the roof of the gambling-house, i discovered that the glass scuttle was open, and i concluded that lynch and blair had been upon the roof in search of me. when i reached the opening i found a ladder conveniently placed for my descent, if i chose to avail myself of its aid. i looked down into the entry, where the gas-light still blazed cheerfully. the door of lynch's room was open, and i could distinctly hear the voices of my late captors. "they took me into that front room," i whispered to my doubting companion. "this looks a little as though your story was true," said mr. bogart. "will you follow me down this ladder?" "no, not yet. i wish to get a little better idea of what these fellows mean. are you afraid of them?" "no; not a bit," i answered, raising the poker which i had picked up where i left it on the roof. "will you go down alone?" he asked. "yes, if you desire it." "i will keep the run of you, and see what is done. if you get into trouble with them, just whistle as loud as you can, and i will join you." "but suppose they take away the ladder?" "then i will go down as i came up, and enter the house by the front door. don't be afraid of anything." "i'm not afraid." "i will be near you. i want to know what these fellows mean to do. if they close the door, i will go down the ladder into the entry." suddenly my companion appeared to have become very enthusiastic in the business upon which we were engaged. though he did not say so, i was satisfied that he was convinced of the truth of my statement. "what shall i do?" i asked, rather puzzled by the tactics of the detective. "do whatever they wish you to do; but don't let them know that you have been off the roof since you escaped. "why not?" "i cannot stop to explain now; only i don't think these rascals have taken all this trouble with you for fifty or a hundred dollars; and they mean to use you as a cat's paw for something else." "i know they do," i replied, in a whisper. "they want the fifteen hundred dollars in gold, for which i hold a note signed by mr. gracewood." "no matter now," said he, impatiently. "go down, and give them all the rope they want." "shall i give them the note, which i have in my pocket?" "i haven't heard about the note. if you had told me the whole story before now, i should have known better what to do." we retreated a few paces from the skylight, and i told him all about the note and the object of lynch. i assured him that mr. rockwood was the legal heir of the property. "the note is of no consequence then," said mr. bogart. "give it to them, but don't indorse it, and i will see that it is returned to you. we have them now. they can't escape us. now, go down, and let them have their own way, but with some show of opposition." i descended the ladder, and stood before the open door of the chamber, when i saw lynch, with his feet on the table, smoking. morgan blair sat opposite him. they discovered me as soon as i landed in the hall, and made haste to place themselves between me and the stairs, in order to cut off my escape. as i did not wish to escape, i gave them no trouble in this direction, but entered the chamber. chapter xxiii. in which phil meets a pale gentleman with one arm in a sling. "i thought you would come back, my dear phil," said mr. leonidas lynchpinne, as he placed himself in the doorway before me. "i knew you had so much respect and regard for us that you would not break our hearts by being long absent. by the way, phil, how is the weather on the roof?" "it is rather cool," i replied, seating myself in the vacant chair, "but not quite so cool as you are, mr. leonidas lynchpinne." "phil, be virtuous, and you will always be happy; that is the secret of my uninterrupted cheerfulness; that enables me always and everywhere to be perfectly calm and collected. be honest, just, and upright, phil; and then the man don't live that can make you tremble, or, in other words, shake in your boots. but besides being all these, phil, you should be charitable and humane, especially the latter. i am humane, phil, and that adds to the sum total of my bliss on earth." "you must be an exceedingly happy man, mr. leonidas lynchpinne," i added; and i saw that he had been drinking some exhilarating beverage since i left him. "o, i am--happy as the day is long, and the night too. you were so very imprudent, phil, as to make your exit--in other words, your departure--from this room by the way of that front window. you might have fallen upon the hard pavement in the street below; and then how i should have wept over your brief but wasted life!" "you are very affectionate." "affection is the staple fodder of my existence, phil. by a process of reasoning which i need not attempt to develop to your unpractised understanding, i arrived at the conclusion that you would be compelled to remain all night on the roof of this and the adjacent houses, unless something was done for you. dreading lest, benumbed with cold, you should attempt the fearful feat of returning to this humble apartment by the same means you used in leaving it, i placed that ladder at the skylight for your use. after all the wrongs, injuries, and insults you have heaped upon me, i took this means to prevent you from sacrificing yourself on the hard pavement below. that is what i call humanity, and i offer it to you as an exemplification of that noble attribute." "thank you; and i will endeavor to profit by your example, at least so far as it illustrates the attribute of humanity. if you have nothing more to say to me, i will take my leave of you." "stay, phil; i have more to say to you," he interposed. "be honest, and you will be eccentric--i mean, you will be happy." "i am glad to hear such lessons of practical wisdom from you, mr. leonidas lynchpinne," i replied, hoping he would soon come to the point, if he had any point, as mr. bogart had suggested. "you appreciate true wisdom, phil. good! then you will give that note to this honest young man." "certainly i will give it to him when he proves his claim." i concluded that he was not satisfied with the blank paper sent in the envelope. "i knew you would be just, phil, after the good advice i have given you; for you are not a bad boy at heart, though you have been led away by evil influences. if you stay with me a while, you will be reformed, and then you will lead a good and true life, and then you will be eccentric--happy, i mean. won't you smoke a cigar, phil?" "no, i thank you; i never smoke." "that's right, phil. it's a filthy practice, besides leading to other vices more to be condemned," said he, lighting a fresh cigar. "now, phil, about that note, which justly and rightly belongs to my good friend morgan blair. do you happen to have it about you?" "yes; i have it in my pocket," i replied, acting upon the advice of mr. bogart. "capital! things always work right for those who are faithful and humane. i'm faithful and humane. now, we are going to bring you two good and true witnesses, who will convince you that morgan blair is the son of matt rockwood's sister. we have taken a great deal of pains to send to vandalia for them, and they will be here to-night--this very night, phil. that's all we want to see you for." "very well; i should like to hear what they have to say." "you shall hear them. i will go down and bring them up," he added, rising from the chair. he had hardly got up before the door was darkened by what to me seemed to be an apparition. it was a gentleman with an overcoat thrown loosely over his shoulders. he wore no other coat, and no vest. i saw that his left arm was suspended in a sling. his face was very pale, and he looked very much like my excellent friend mr. gracewood, though a second glance assured me it was not he. when he discovered me, he started back, and was disposed to retreat. "you have company, mr. lynch," said the pale gentleman. "i will come another time." "come in, mr. gracewood. come in!" replied lynch, placing the rocking-chair for the visitor, who was evidently an invalid. mr. gracewood! it certainly was not my kind friend; but the resemblance was strong enough to assure me that he was a relative, if not a brother. "is this the way you keep my secret?" said the pale gentleman, reproachfully, as he retreated a pace into the entry. "o, it's all right here. this is phil farringford, of whom i spoke to you," added lynch. "so much the worse!" exclaimed the invalid, impatiently. "but he is the very essence of discretion and reserve. your secret is as safe with him as with me," protested the gambler. "the mischief is done, whatever it may be. you have called me by my name." "may i ask if you are a relative of henry gracewood?" i inquired, so much interested in the pale gentleman that i forgot everything else. "his own brother, and his only brother," replied mr. gracewood, bitterly. "i would not have him know that i am here for his fortune and mine, though i am guilty of no crime against him." "mind that, phil," interposed lynch; "and remember that discretion is the better part of valor, and sometimes the better part of virtue. this honest gentleman has been unfortunate, but not guilty." i could not understand how a person in his situation, apparently an invalid, should happen to be in a gambling-house, and it seemed to me that the secrecy he coveted was an indication of something evil. he declared that he was guilty of no crime against his brother. respect and regard for the good friend of my early years prompted me not to betray him, at least before i knew more about him. then it occurred to me that the detective on the roof, or perhaps in the entry by this time, might discover more than it was desirable for him to know. "do you know where my brother is now, young man?" asked the invalid. "he is at delaware city, where his wife is sick," i replied, giving him the details of the illness of mrs. gracewood. "you can talk it over between you," interposed lynch. "i have an engagement with the governor of missouri and half a dozen congressmen; and i hope you will excuse me for half an hour." mr. gracewood nodded, and lynch and blair left the room. i had no doubt mr. bogart, in the entry, would attend to their movements, and i did not trouble myself about them. i told my companion all i knew about his brother. "i had a letter from him this autumn, saying he expected to return to st. louis before winter. he spoke about you, and about his wife and daughter. i have heard nothing from them since." "he would have been here a fortnight ago if his wife had not been sick." "young man, do you know the character of this house?" said mr. gracewood, looking at me very sharply. "i do, sir, very well indeed; and the character of the man who has just left us." "how do you happen to be in such a place, then?" "i was enticed here by lynch, who wanted to plunder me of certain property in my possession; but i understand him, and he won't make anything out of me." "perhaps you wonder that i am here," he added, looking upon the floor, as though he considered his own position more equivocal than mine. "i confess that i do, sir, especially as you look like an invalid, and i see you have your arm in a sling." "i would not have my brother know that i am here for all the world, for i judge from the tone of his letter that a great change has come over him. he talks to me of the mercies of god, which i feel that i need more than all else on earth. i am overwhelmed with shame at my situation." mr. gracewood covered his face with his hand, and i heard him groan in bitterness of spirit. i pitied him, for whatever he had done, he was a penitent, and i was sure that god's mercy could reach and comfort him. "if you wish, i will tell you how i happen to be here," i added, intending, if possible, to divert his mind from the woe that overwhelmed him. "no, young man; i do not care to know. as you may see my brother before i do, i had better tell you how i happen to be here," he added. "i have been gambling, and i have lost thousands and tens of thousands of dollars. i have even impaired my fortune; and if this calamity had not overtaken me,"--and he pointed to his wounded arm,--"i might even have spent my brother's fortune, which, perhaps you know, he placed in my keeping. i sold stocks and bonds in which i had invested his money, and lost the proceeds at the gambling table. "in my home at glencoe, i cursed my own folly and wickedness in wasting my substance in games of chance; but i hoped to redeem my heavy losses. i was fully resolved, when i had done so, never to play again. but the judgment comes when we least expect it. i found, when i looked over my accounts in the quiet of my chamber at glencoe, that i had lost about twenty thousand dollars' worth of stocks and bonds belonging to my brother. i was appalled, for both his property and mine was largely invested in real estate, and i had not the ready money to make good the deficiency. a few days before, an offer was made me for a piece of property in this city. i proposed to sell it for thirty thousand, and was offered twenty-five. under the pressure of this need to repair my brother's fortune, i hastened to the city, and closed the bargain at the lower price. "the purchaser came to me with the money in his hand as soon as i could have the papers prepared. it was four o'clock in the afternoon when the business was completed, and i had twenty-five thousand dollars in my pocket. it was too late to deposit it in the bank that day, and meeting one whose acquaintance i had made at forstellar's, i came here. i lost a thousand dollars before i fully realized what i was doing. then i refused to play any more. the one with whom i had come was angry with me. in a word, we had a quarrel, and in his wrath he attempted to stab me; but i warded off the blow with my arm, which was severely wounded. "the ruffian escaped; but i was taken to a chamber, and a surgeon sent for. then i thought of the large sum of money in my possession, and the character of the place, and--" mr. gracewood suddenly placed his hand against his breast, and, without another word, fled from the room. chapter xxiv. in which phil meets an old friend, and mr. leonidas lynchpinne comes to grief. i could not imagine what had so suddenly driven mr. gracewood from the room. he left as though he had been shot from a gun, and did not utter a word in explanation of his conduct. on the impulse of the moment i followed him. in the entry i looked for mr. bogart, in order to report progress to him; but i did not see him. the ladder was still standing at the skylight, but the detective was not in sight upon the roof, and though i called his name as loud as i dared to speak he did not respond. i descended the stairs to the next floor, where i had understood the room of the invalid was located. the door of his apartment was open, and i discovered mr. gracewood in the act of ransacking his bed. he was very nervous and excited, and i saw that the hand he was able to use trembled violently. [illustration: the lost money. page .] "what is the matter, mr. gracewood?" i asked, as he continued to tumble over the mattress and the pillows. "all is lost!" exclaimed he, in the tones of despair. "what is lost?" "my money!" he gasped, in a hoarse whisper. "do you mean to say that it is gone!" i asked, startled at the suggestion. "all gone!" groaned he. "twenty-four thousand dollars!" "but where did you put it, sir?" "between the two beds, when lynch sent for me to come up into his room." "did he send for you, sir?" i interposed. "he did." "then it was a plot to rob you, sir." "i fear that it was; but i was careless. i had hardly been out of my room before; but when i did leave it, i took my money with me. i had become accustomed to its possession, and i did not think of it. i did not believe lynch was a bad man. he was very kind to me, and attended to my wants after i was hurt." "did he know you had this money?" "i did not tell him, but i think he did. he must have stolen it." "don't be alarmed, sir. i don't think you will lose it," i added. "it is gone already, and i shall never see it again." "perhaps you will, sir." "no, never! the men in this house are all villains," said he, bitterly, as he dropped into a chair, apparently from sheer exhaustion, and in utter despair. "no, sir; i happen to know that the eyes of a detective were upon him at the very moment when he left the room above. i have no doubt he has been arrested by this time." "detective?" "yes, sir;" and i gave a brief account of the manner in which lynch had swindled me, and stated the purpose for which i had returned to the house. "but i shall be exposed!" exclaimed mr. gracewood, bitterly. "i would rather lose my money than have my wife and children know that i have been gambling, and that i frequent such places as this. i wrote them a miserable lie--that i was obliged to go to memphis--to explain my absence. if god will forgive and spare me this time, never will i be guilty again!" "calm yourself, sir. i am sorry you have done wrong; but seeing and repenting the wrong half undoes it--so your brother taught me." "i shall never be at peace again in this world," groaned the sufferer. "but let the money go; i can sell another estate, though a third of all i had is gone already." "the money is not gone, mr. gracewood. i am satisfied that lynch is arrested by this time." "so much the worse! i shall be exposed." "perhaps not. let us look the matter over. why did lynch send for you to go up into his room?" "he sent me a note by the young man who was with him. here it is," he added, rising and taking a piece of paper from the table. i took the paper, which contained a few lines, as follows: "i have seen the young fellow, phil farringford, who was with your brother. if you will come up to my room, i will tell you what he says." "you seem to have known about me before," i added, when i had read the note. "as i said, this lynch took care of me when i was hurt. i did not intend that any one here should know my name, but i think he read it where the tailor had written it on the inside of my coat; at any rate, he called me by name. i think he must have seen me take the package of bank notes from my pocket and put it under the pillow, before the surgeon came. when the doctor left, and i was more comfortable, he told me that he had met my brother on board of a steamer up the missouri, and said there was a boy with him whom he had since seen in the city. i was very anxious to know when my brother was coming, so that i might be prepared to see him. "lynch did not know where my brother was, and i asked him if he knew where to find you. he thought he should be able to see you, and to-night i was very glad to learn that he had succeeded, and i hastened up stairs to obtain the intelligence of the absent one." the plan of the villain appeared to me to be past finding out. i concluded that i had been sent for to assist in some manner in the plundering of the unhappy gentleman. but they had done the job, so far as i could see, without any help from me, unless my presence was intended to lure the victim from his room, and thus enable them to do the work. why they had skirmished by robbing me of sixty-five dollars was not at all clear to me. i explained to mr. gracewood that i had left mr. rockwood and an officer outside of the house. "i will go down and see if they are there now," i added. "perhaps i shall be able to tell you something about lynch." "don't leave me, young man. i am miserable." "but i want to know what has become of lynch." "no matter; let him go. do not allow them to expose me." i did not wonder that this man's conscience stung him, and that he dreaded to have his name in the newspapers in connection with his presence at the gambling-house. the only safety for men, young or old, is to keep away from evil haunts. those who enter gambling-houses from curiosity may be impelled to repeat the visit from stronger motives. while i was discussing the question with the miserable man, i heard footsteps in the entry. i opened the door, and found mr. rockwood and the detective, who had come to look for me. "we have nabbed them both, phil," said mr. rockwood. "they are in irons at the next station-house. and a big haul it was, too." "whose room is that you came out of just now?" asked mr. bogart. "it is occupied by a gentleman who is stopping here," i replied. "do you know what lynch stole from that room?" "i do--a package containing twenty-four thousand dollars. did you see him take it?" "i did," answered mr. bogart. "but i don't understand this business." "neither do i." "where is the gentleman? i want to see him." "i wouldn't see him to-night. he is quite sick, and suffering terribly." "i want to tell him that his money is safe." "i will tell him that." "and that the thief is in custody. when he is able, he must appear, and claim his money." fortunately mr. bogart was in a great hurry; and when i assured him i had no fears in regard to my own safety, he left me in the house, with mr. rockwood. before he went he took the occasion to apologize to me for doubting my story, earlier in the evening. leaving mr. rockwood in the entry, i went in to see mr. gracewood again. he was exceedingly nervous and uneasy when i told him that his money was safe. "and the whole story will be out in the newspapers on monday morning," said he, gloomily. "i don't know much about these things. i am willing to do anything that is right for you," i replied. "i deserved to be exposed, but i have not the courage to meet the ordeal." "mr. rockwood is waiting for me in the entry. he is a wealthy and influential gentleman. his brother and your brother were neighbors and intimate friends on the upper missouri. if you will see him, i think he could serve you." at first he was very unwilling to meet any one, but at last he consented. i stated the case to mr. rockwood in the entry, and then introduced him to the sufferer. "don't distress yourself, my dear sir," said mr. rockwood, when the misery of the other was manifested. "the best of men have their misfortunes." "i cannot call that a misfortune which is brought upon me by my own folly and wickedness," replied mr. gracewood. "but the best of men have their failings. your secret is safe with me, and i shall only hope that you may be stronger in the future than in the past." "with the help of god, this will be a lesson to me that shall make me a better man than ever before," added mr. gracewood, fervently. "but you shall not stay another night in such a place as this, my dear sir," continued mr. rockwood, earnestly. "the very atmosphere of the den is poison." "i dare not leave it." "my hotel is only a few steps from here. you shall have my rooms, and no one need ever know that you are there." "you are very kind. i had no right to expect such generous treatment from an entire stranger." "your brother and my brother were the best of friends for many years; we will imitate their example, and be friends for their sake." mr. rockwood insisted upon his arrangement, paid the invalid's bill, and sent for a carriage to convey him to his new quarters. we dressed the miserable man, and helped him into the vehicle. the driver was directed to stop at the private door on the cross-street, and mr. gracewood was conducted to the rooms of his new friend without attracting any attention. "i used to stay at this hotel myself," said mr. gracewood, when he was seated in the planter's great arm-chair. "it is a good house, and you shall have every care you need." having seen the invalid so comfortably provided for, i thought it was about time for me to go home. i promised to call the next day, and left the room. i felt as though a mighty secret had been confided to me; but i could not see how mr. gracewood could escape the exposure he so much dreaded. i could not understand how he had thus far escaped it, if he frequented gambling-houses. certainly he was thoroughly conscious of the sin of which he had been guilty, and peace would follow penitence and reform. i descended the stairs to the lower floor of the hotel, and was hastening by the office when i discovered my excellent friend mr. henry gracewood walking up and down the hall, smoking his pipe. my heart thrilled with emotion as i hastened to greet him. he grasped my hand with a warmth that assured me he had lost none of his old regard for me. "i am glad to see you, phil farringford," said he. "come right up stairs, and see mrs. gracewood and ella." he led the way to a suit of rooms adjoining those of mr. rockwood, and it seemed to me that the catastrophe which the invalid so much dreaded could not long be postponed. chapter xxv. in which phil finds the prospect growing brighter. the meeting with the family of mr. gracewood was none the less pleasant because it was entirely unexpected. i had been expecting and hoping to see them, till i was afraid the winter would set in and compel them to remain where they were till spring, for mrs. gracewood was too ill to bear the fatigues of the long journey by land. i thought that ella looked prettier than ever, and the welcome she gave me was worth all the patient waiting i had bestowed upon it. the lady looked very pale and sick; indeed, a great change had come over her since we parted, only a few weeks before. i saw that she had been very sick, and that she was still very far from being in her usual health. though she had been brought up tenderly and delicately, she had done the house-work, with the assistance of ella and myself, at the settlement during the summer. for my own part, i felt quite alarmed about her, she looked so pale and sick. she was reclining upon the lounge when i entered, but she rose to greet me. "i am glad to see you, phil farringford, for i have thought a great deal about you since we parted so strangely," said mr. gracewood. "your letter afforded me a great deal of satisfaction." "i have worried a great deal about you and your family, sir," i replied; "and it gives me new life to see you again. when did you arrive?" "we did not get ashore till after nine o'clock, too late to go out to glencoe, where my brother lives at the present time." i wanted to tell him that his brother was in the very next room; but i did not think that i had the right to complicate the affairs of others, and i said nothing. "what have you been doing, phil?" asked mr. gracewood. "i am a carpenter now; i work at the plane and plank, and am doing first rate," i replied. "i have a long story to tell you, but i suppose it is rather late to begin it to-night." "i am afraid it would be rather trying to the nerves of mrs. gracewood, and we will postpone it," he replied, glancing at his wife. "do let me hear it, phil," interposed ella. "i shall be very glad to tell you all about it, ella; but it is too late to-night; i must go home now." "where is your home, phil?" "i board with a widow lady, who is one of the best women in the world. she has acted like a mother to me. i will come in the morning and see you again." i took my leave of the family; but as mr. gracewood followed me down stairs, i had no opportunity to see mr. rockwood, as i had intended, to inform him of the new arrival. i hastened home, and found my father and mrs. greenough very much worried at my prolonged absence: but i had a story that was worth telling to relate, and it was midnight before we retired. after breakfast the next morning i dressed myself in my best clothes; and i could not help thinking that ella would be willing to believe i was not a bad-looking young fellow. my father was very feeble, but it was a satisfaction to know that he was improving. mrs. greenough was unwearied in her efforts to restore him to moral and physical health. probably his illness in a measure spared him from the cravings of his appetite for drink. he sat in his easy chair a large portion of the day reading the bible, and such good books as our kind landlady provided for his needs. i hastened to the hotel to see my friends as soon as i could get away from home. i called upon mr. rockwood first, and he assured me that his patient was doing very well, but had not yet left his bed. "i am afraid things are getting a little tangled here, sir," i suggested. "what do you mean, phil? does anything go wrong?" asked mr. rockwood. "there was an arrival last night at this hotel," i continued, in a low tone. "who?" "mr. gracewood, from the upper missouri," i replied, in a whisper. "is it possible!" at this moment the invalid tottered through the open door, and stood before us. "i knew it!" said he; "i knew it!" "what?" inquired mr. rockwood. "that my brother had come. you need not attempt to conceal it from me. i heard his voice all night long. he is in the next room." the planter looked at me, and i looked at him. it was not probable that the invalid had heard his brother's voice all night long; and it was possible that, whatever the fact might be, he was laboring under a delusion. "be calm, mr. gracewood," said the planter. "calm? i am as calm as the surface of a summer lake. don't you see that i am calm? i fear nothing now. i will not be a knave, and i will not be a hypocrite. i heard my brother's voice last evening before i went to sleep, and the sound of it haunted me all night. i will tell him the whole story, for i will not let him believe that i am better than i am. if god will forgive me, i know my brother will." mr. gracewood explained the course of his thoughts during the long and weary night he had passed. it was but the old story, that he who sins must suffer; and his experience made me resolve anew to be always true and faithful to the truth and the right; for if the conscience can sting here, in the midst of the allurements of the world, what will it not do in the hereafter? [illustration: reunion of phil and his friends. page .] mr. gracewood declared that he was ready to see his brother, and the sooner the better. i was sent to prepare my excellent friend for the interview. i found the family in their parlor, and was cordially greeted by all of them. i told mr. gracewood that i had made the acquaintance of old matt's brother, and that he was a planter. i then asked him to go with me and see him. he consented, but in the entry i paused to tell him more. "there is another brother here," i added, as he closed the door of the parlor behind him. "another of matt's brothers?" "no, your brother." "my brother!" "yes, sir; i am sorry to say he is in rather poor health." "where is he?" "in the next room to yours. he is with mr. rockwood, who owns this hotel." "let me see him at once. i hope he is not dangerously sick." "no; but he is more troubled in mind than in body." "is he insane?" "no, sir; he blames himself very much for something he has done." "what has he done?" asked my friend, very much troubled. "he has been gambling; but he regrets it so sincerely, that i am sure he will be a better man than he ever was before. you shall see him now, and i know you will be very gentle with him." "it is not for me to condemn him; i can only condemn my own errors," said my christian friend, as i led him into mr. rockwood's rooms. the invalid rose as he entered, and extended his hand to his brother, while the great tears rolled down his pale, wan cheek. "i am glad to see you, robert," said henry. "i am sorry you are sick." "i am sick at heart." but i did not stay to hear the confession of the penitent. ella went to church and to sunday school with me; and after the latter i conducted her back to the hotel; for, besides the pleasure her company afforded me, i wished to know the condition of affairs between the brothers. as i had expected, they were easily reconciled. my excellent friend had no malice in his heart; and though his brother's error must have given him a severe shock, he was willing to cover the past with the repentance that succeeded. i dined with the family, and went to church in the afternoon; but i spent the evening with my father. he was more cheerful than he had been for several days, and assured me he had found a peace in the truths of the gospel which he had never realized before. he was really happy; and if there was ever a changed man in the world, he was the one. "philip, i am well enough to think of the future," said he. "it worries me, too." "it need not." "i may not be able to do anything for some time, for i am very weak. i suppose i must be made over anew." "don't disturb yourself at all about that," i replied. "i am getting six dollars a week, and that will pay our board." "i cannot live on your hard earnings, philip," he added, shaking his head. "i feel guilty even now; and i should not have come here to be a burden to you, if i had not been a wreck of what i was once." "i assure you, father, it will be the greatest pleasure on earth for me to do what i can for you. i may not get a dollar a day all the time, but i have fifteen hundred dollars, sure, now." "i hope i shall soon be able to do something for myself, philip. for the last week i have dared to hope that your mother might come back, and that we might be as happy as we were before i dashed down all my earthly hopes." "i hope so, father; nothing could make me so happy as to live with my father and mother." "perhaps i may get a situation as a clerk, and earn enough to support me; though it is hard, at my time of life, to go back and commence where i began twenty years ago. but i deserve all that can befall me, and i will be as humble as my circumstances are. god has been merciful to me; he has spared and redeemed me." "do you know where my mother is?" i asked, burning with the old desire to see and know her. "i do not. they have taken pains to keep all knowledge of her from me. i was told that she was in europe, and i have no doubt such is the case. i should like to let her know that our lost little one has been mercifully restored, but i cannot do even that; and i will not ask her to live with me again until i have made myself worthy to do so." somehow god always sends good angels to those who, in trust and faith, are trying to help themselves. the door bell rang, and mrs. greenough admitted mr. rockwood. "i am glad to see you again, phil," said he. "i wished to see your father, and i wanted to tell you to be at the police station to-morrow forenoon at ten o'clock." "i will be there, sir, if mr. clinch will let me off." "he must let you off. if he won't, i shall send an officer to summon you." "i have no doubt he will let me go." "your evidence is necessary to convict lynch. i am told that the young fellow wants to make a confession." "i should like very much to hear it, for i don't know even yet why those fellows followed me up so closely." "we shall know to-morrow.--how do you feel, mr. farringford?" added mr. rockwood, turning to my father. "better, sir; i hope to be out in a few days." "you were once a very able business man, and i have no doubt you know as much now as you ever did. i have been looking for a man who is competent to take charge of my property in st. louis. you are the right man, if--" "if i keep sober," added my father, when the planter paused. "i have no claim whatever upon your confidence; but i assure you i believe it is quite impossible for me ever to drink another drop of liquor." this important matter was discussed for some time, but it ended in the appointment of my father as agent of the planter. when our visitor had departed, the future looked bright and pleasant; and it seemed to me that the day was drawing nearer when our family should be reunited under one roof. chapter xxvi. in which phil listens to the confession of his persecutor, and ends plane and plank. i went to my work on monday morning, and plane and plank were to employ me for the day. certainly i never went to work so cheerfully in my life, for somehow all my mishaps seemed to have been turned into blessings. when i found my father a miserable drunkard and outcast, that seemed to me the greatest mishap which could possibly befall me. but now he was a new man, through the blessed ministrations of mrs. greenough; and through him i hoped to find the highest of earthly bliss in our reunited family. my mishaps with the villains who had stolen my money, and who had probably intended to force me into a course of crime, had given me such a powerful friend as mr. rockwood. my father had been appointed his agent, with a salary at the rate of twelve hundred dollars a year for the first three months, with a promise of an increase, if he was faithful and steady. i fully believed that my father was sincere, and that, as he said, it would be quite impossible for him to drink another drop of liquor. i believed it, because i knew that he prayed to god morning, noon, and night for strength; and i was sure that he whom god helps cannot fail. mr. clinch gave me permission, at nine o'clock, to be absent the rest of the day, if necessary. he was curious to know what business i had at the courts, and i told him enough of the story to enable him to understand the situation. "i was sure that morgan blair was getting into bad ways," said mr. clinch. "i tell you, phil, when a young fellow is lazy, and don't take any interest in his business, he is getting into a bad way. all i want to know about a boy is, whether he feels an interest in his business or not. then i can tell pretty well about his morals." "i think he fell into bad company, sir." "of course he did; idlers always fall into bad company. a young fellow must have a taste for bad company before he can be led a great ways out of the right track. the first bad company a young fellow keeps is himself. if he don't begin there, he won't begin anywhere else. those are my sentiments." mr. clinch talked to me while i was preparing to go to the station-house; and when i was ready i hastened to the place appointed. i found mr. rockwood and both the gracewoods there, with lynch and blair in irons. they looked pitiable enough now. they had been arrested at the very moment when they considered themselves entirely successful in their wicked enterprise, and of course the shock of disaster was very heavy. "you are an old one, phil farringford," said lynch, with a sickly smile. "you have brought me to grief finally. if i can get out of this scrape, i don't know but i should be willing to go to a prayer-meeting with you." "it would do you good," i replied. "why were you so determined to rob me, lynch?" "because i thought you were a great deal fatter pullet than you turned out to be. i heard you and that gentleman," he added, pointing to mr. henry gracewood, "talking pretty large about your money. as you exhibited some of it, i was satisfied that you really had the gold, and i thought it would do me more good than it would you. however, you were so full of fight that i gave it up till you vexed me so here in the city. after i had given you back your hundred dollars, i was determined to be even with you. then i followed, and made the acquaintance of my good friend morgan blair." "yes; and i wish you had been at the bottom of the mississippi before i had ever seen you," blubbered blair, his eyes filling with tears. "after listening to that highly interesting story about the rockwoods, i decided that my friend blair should be the last of the rockwoods. you were very obstinate, phil; very. after that affair at the station-house, i made the acquaintance of mr. gracewood. i supposed, at first, that he was the one who had signed that note of yours, phil. i wanted the note then, but i soon found that i was mistaken. about the same time i found the wounded man had a large sum of money upon him, and i was more anxious to get this. i told mr. gracewood that i knew a young man who had seen his brother, and then i got the whole story." "what did you want of me?" i asked. "that's the point; i wanted you, because you knew mr. gracewood's brother. he would trust you, for you go to prayer-meetings. he told me all about his brother; and i thought if i could get that note, he would pay it; but that was to be blair's perquisite--what he could get of it. the sick man told me he had the care of his brother's property, and would pay anything on his account that was right." "but did you mean to have me help you steal the twenty-four thousand dollars?" i demanded. "that was what i wanted you for; and when we left you in the room, i went down to see mr. gracewood. i intended to tell him, as a friend, that it was not safe to keep such a sum in such a house. i meant to advise him to send it to the bank by you." "and then to rob me?" "well, you needn't call it by such a hard name; but you never would have got out of the house with the money. i have played and lost, and now i make the best of it. when you left the room, we heard you on the roof; but i expected you back very soon, for i knew you could not escape in that direction. i was humane too, for i was afraid you would break your neck, and spoil all my plans; i placed the ladder at the skylight, so that you could return without danger." "why did you send to my boarding-house for my money?" "simply to ascertain whether you were there. when you came back, i sent a note down to mr gracewood, and thus brought you together. while you were talking together, i went down into mr. gracewood's room, in order to ascertain, if i could, where he kept the package of money. of course i did not suppose he had left it there; but, to my surprise, i found it between the two beds. i took possession, and blair and i left then. i intended to be a hundred miles from st. louis before daylight the next morning. instead of that, we were nabbed by this excellent gentleman as soon as we stepped upon the sidewalk." "i was watching you all the time," added the detective. "and the game is up, and lost," said lynch. "a very stupid game it was, too." "it may look so now; it did not then. it would not have been a hard job to persuade a sick man in a gambling-house to send his money to the bank for safe keeping." "i don't think it would," said the invalid. "did you expect him to trust phil at sight?" asked the detective. "not at all. phil goes to prayer-meetings, and i thought he would be willing to spend most of the time, from saturday night till monday morning, with the sick brother of his best friend. by monday noon he would have been willing to trust him with all he had in the world." "i think he would," added henry gracewood. "if he had sent me to the bank with the money, it would have gone there," i said, confidently. "perhaps not," replied lynch. "there would have been a big fight, at any rate," i continued. "i would not have given up the money while i had an arm left." "well, gentlemen, it is time to take the prisoners before the court," said mr. bogart. they were taken to the court; lynch pleaded guilty, and blair, after telling a pitiful story of the manner in which he had been led away, put in the same plea. in due time the older villain was sentenced to ten years' imprisonment, and the novice to one year. mr. gracewood recovered his money, and i did mine. thus the wretch who had been persecuting me since he came on board the steamer on the missouri to the present time, was disposed of. the brothers gracewood remained at the hotel a week. the case of the penitent was known to the public, and to his own family. those who loved him forgave him; and he could afford to be independent, in a measure, of the opinions of others. his fortune was still ample for his support in elegance and luxury, and his brother lost nothing by his misdeeds. mr. henry gracewood paid me the fifteen hundred dollars, which, by the kindness of mr. rockwood, became my property. it was deposited in three savings banks. the health of mrs. gracewood was very much impaired by her illness, and the most skilful physician in the city recommended a change of climate, advising her to live in the south of france during the winter. this was a heavy blow to me, for i had counted upon the society of the gracewoods, especially of ella. the season was advancing, and the family were obliged to hasten away. with a heavy heart i bade good by to them, and it was years before i saw them again. i attended to my work diligently and faithfully, and gave entire satisfaction to my employer. but i found that plane and plank was hard work, and city life did not agree with me as well as that in the wilds of the upper missouri. still, i was very happy, though i was troubled with a longing desire to see my mother. with the money restored to me after the arrest of the robbers, i purchased a suit of nice black clothes for my father; and when he was dressed in them, he looked like the new man that he was. he was paler and thinner than when i had first seen him, but i was proud of his appearance. though not in robust health, he was able to enter at once upon the duties of his position as the agent of mr. rockwood. we continued to live at mrs. greenough's, who felt quite as much interest in both of us as though we had been her nearest relatives. a smaller room over the entry was fitted up for me, and my father took my chamber. here he kept his account-books, and did all his writing. i suppose that he was often tempted to drink, but i am certain that he never yielded. he always attended every service at the church. mrs. greenough had both reformed and converted him, though i think my presence had some influence with him. i had work at my trade all winter; but my father insisted upon paying my board as well as his own, and i saved nearly all my money. i went to an evening school, and studied book-keeping. in fact i spent most of my leisure hours in study. i reviewed my old branches. my father was a very well educated man, and assisted me in my efforts to improve my mind. he instructed me in the usages of business, and helped me with my accounts. in the spring, mr. lamar offered my father a much larger salary than he was receiving; but his employer promptly doubled his present pay, so well was he satisfied with his services. during the summer season, besides taking charge of the rents and repairs of the tenements, he built several new houses for mr. rockwood, which were leased to good tenants. his position was, therefore, one of great responsibility, but he was competent to fill it. he did his employer's business as though it had been his own. we were both doing exceedingly well, and were in the main contented and happy, though i could not be entirely satisfied while my mother was separated from us. i said so much about this subject, that my father wrote to mr. collingsby, in chicago, informing him that "the long-lost son" had been found. no answer was received; and another letter was written, which, however, produced no better result. evidently mr. collingsby did not believe the statements contained in the letters, and he took no notice of them. foiled in this manner, we were compelled to drop the matter for the time. i worked at my trade for two years; and at the end of that time, although i was only fifteen, i did not think there was much more for me to learn in that business. probably i should have continued to work at it, however, if mr. clinch had not abandoned his trade to go into the lumber business in michigan. i had learned book-keeping pretty thoroughly, and i did not care to find a new place as a carpenter. i was rather desirous of practising what i had learned on the subject of accounts, and, with the advice of my father, i concluded to abandon, for the present, the plane and plank. lee & shepard's list of juvenile publications. oliver optic's books. each set in a neat box with illuminated titles. =army and navy stories.= a library for young and old, in volumes. mo. illustrated. per vol. $ the soldier boy. the yankee middy. the sailor boy. fighting joe. the young lieutenant. brave old salt. =famous "boat-club" series.= a library for young people. handsomely illustrated. six volumes, in neat box. per vol. the boat club; or, the bunkers of rippleton. all aboard; 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or, the fortunes of a farmer. plane and plank; or, the mishaps of a mechanic. desk and debit; or, the catastrophes of a clerk. cringle and cross-tree; or, the sea swashes of a sailor. bivouac and battle; or, the struggles of a soldier. sea and shore; or, the tramps of a traveller. =young america abroad series.= a library of travel and adventure in foreign lands. illustrated by nast, stevens, perkins, and others. per vol. mo _first series._ outward bound; or, young america afloat. shamrock and thistle; or, young america in ireland and scotland. red cross; or, young america in england and wales. dikes and ditches; or, young america in holland and belgium. palace and cottage; or, young america in france and switzerland. down the rhine; or, young america in germany. _second series._ up the baltic; or, young america in norway, sweden, and denmark. northern lands; or, young america in russia and prussia. cross and crescent; or, young america in turkey and greece. sunny shores; or, young america in italy and austria. vine and olive; or, young america in spain and portugal. isles of the sea; or, young america homeward bound. =riverdale stories.= twelve volumes. a new edition. profusely illustrated from neat designs by billings. in neat box. per vol. little merchant. proud and lazy. young voyagers. careless kate. robinson crusoe, jr. christmas gift. dolly and i. the picnic party. uncle ben. the gold thimble. birthday party. the do-somethings. =riverdale story books.= six volumes, in neat box cloth. per vol. little merchant proud and lazy. young voyagers. careless kate. dolly and i. robinson crusoe. jr. =flora lee story books.= six volumes in neat box. cloth. per vol christmas gift. the picnic party. uncle ben. the gold thimble. birthday party. the do-somethings. =great western series, the.= six volumes. illustrated. per vol. going west; or, the perils of a poor boy. out west; or, roughing it on the great lakes. lake breezes. =our boys' and girls' offering.= containing oliver optic's popular story, ocean born; or, the cruise of the clubs; stories of the seas, tales of wonder, records of travel, &c. edited by oliver optic. profusely illustrated. covers printed in colors. vo. =our boys' and girls' souvenir.= containing oliver optic's popular story, going west; or, the perils of a poor boy; stories of the sea, tales of wonder, records of travel, &c. edited by oliver optic. with numerous full-page and letter-press engravings. covers printed in colors. vo. =soldier boy series, the.= three volumes, in neat box. illustrated. per vol. the soldier boy; or, tom somers in the army. the young lieutenant; or, the adventures of an army officer. fighting joe; or, the fortunes of a staff officer. =sailor boy series, the.= three volumes in neat box. illustrated. per vol. the sailor boy; or, jack somers in the navy. the yankee middy; or, adventures of a naval officer. brave old salt; or, life on the quarter-deck. =starry flag series, the.= six volumes. illustrated. per vol. the starry flag; or, the young fisherman of cape ann. breaking away; or, the fortunes of a student. seek and find; or, the adventures of a smart boy. freaks of fortune; or, half round the world. make or break; or, the rich man's daughter. down the river; or, buck bradford and the tyrants. =the household library.= volumes. illustrated. per volume living too fast. in doors and out. the way of the world. =way of the world, the.= by william t. adams (oliver optic) mo =woodville stories.= uniform with library for young people. six volumes. illustrated. per vol. mo rich and humble; or, the mission of bertha grant. in school and out; or, the conquest of richard grant. watch and wait; or, the young fugitives. work and win; or, noddy newman on a cruise. hope and have; or, fanny grant among the indians. haste and waste; or, the young pilot of lake champlain. transcriber's note: the punctuation and spelling are as printed in the original publication with the exception of the following: page oocasion is now occasion. page transportion is now transportation. page cheerfuly is now cheerfully. the transfiguration of miss philura [illustration: mrs. smart's theme was thought forces and the infinite [_see page _] the transfiguration of miss philura _by_ florence morse kingsley _thirteenth edition_ funk & wagnalls company new york and london copyright, , by florence m. kingsley _registered at stationers' hall, london, england_ [printed in the united states of america] hour-glass stories edition. published march, * * * * * chapter one miss philura rice tied her faded bonnet-strings under her faded chin with hands that trembled a little; then she leaned forward and gazed anxiously at the reflection which confronted her. a somewhat pinched and wistful face it was, with large, light-lashed blue eyes, arched over with a mere pretense at eyebrows. more than once in her twenties miss philura had ventured to eke out this scanty provision of nature with a modicum of burned match stealthily applied in the privacy of her virgin chamber. but the twenties, with their attendant dreams and follies, were definitely past; just how long past no one knew exactly--miss philura never informed the curious on this point. as for the insufficient eyebrows, they symbolized, as it were, a meagre and restricted life, vaguely acknowledged as the dispensation of an obscurely hostile but consistent providence; a providence far too awful and exalted--as well as hostile--to interest itself benignantly in so small and neutral a personality as stared back at her from the large, dim mirror of cousin maria van deuser's third-story back bedroom. not that miss philura ever admitted such dubious thoughts to the select circle of her conscious reflections; more years ago than she cared to count she had grappled with her discontent, had thrust it resolutely out of sight, and on the top of it she had planted a big stone marked resignation. nevertheless, at times the stone heaved and trembled ominously. * * * * * at sound of a brisk tap at her chamber door the lady turned with a guilty start to find the fresh-colored, impertinent face of the french maid obtruding itself into the room. "ze madame waits," announced this individual, and with a coldly comprehensive eye swept the small figure from head to foot. "yes, yes, my dear, i am quite ready--i am coming at once!" faltered miss philura, with a propitiatory smile, and more than ever painfully aware that the skirt of her best black gown was irremediably short and scant, that her waist was too flat, her shoulders too sloping, her complexion faded, her forehead wrinkled, and her bonnet unbecoming. as she stepped uncertainly down the dark, narrow stairway she rebuked herself severely for these vain and worldly thoughts. "to be a church member, in good and regular standing, and a useful member of society," she assured herself strenuously, "should be and _is_ sufficient for me." ten minutes later, miss philura, looking smaller and more insignificant than usual, was seated in the carriage opposite mrs. j. mortimer van deuser--a large, heavily upholstered lady of majestic deportment, paying diligent heed to the words of wisdom which fell from the lips of her hostess and kinswoman. "during your short stay in boston," that lady was remarking impressively, "you will, of course, wish to avail yourself of those means of culture and advancement so sadly lacking in your own environment. this, my dear philura, is pre-eminently the era of progressive thought. we can have at best, i fear, but a faint conception of the degree to which mankind will be able, in the years of the coming century, to shake off the gross and material limitations of sense." mrs. van deuser paused to settle her sables preliminary to recognizing with an expansive smile an acquaintance who flashed by them in a victoria; after which she adjusted the diamonds in her large, pink ears, and proceeded with unctuous tranquillity. "on this occasion, my dear philura, you will have the pleasure of listening to an address by mrs. b. isabelle smart, one of our most advanced thinkers along this line. you will, i trust, be able to derive from her words aliment which will influence the entire trend of your individual experience." "where--in what place will the lady speak--i mean, will it be in the church?" ventured miss philura in a depressed whisper. she sighed apprehensively as she glanced down at the tips of her shabby gloves. "the lecture will take place in the drawing-room of the woman's ontological club," responded mrs. van deuser, adding with austere sweetness of tone: "the club deals exclusively with those conceptions or principles which lie at the base of all phenomena; including being, reality, substance, time, space, motion, change, identity, difference, and cause--in a word, my dear philura, with ultimate metaphysical philosophy." a majestic and conclusive sweep of a perfectly gloved hand suggested infinity and reduced miss philura into shrinking silence. * * * * * when mrs. b. isabelle smart began to speak she became almost directly aware of a small, wistful face, with faded blue eyes and a shabby, unbecoming bonnet, which, surrounded as it was on all sides by tossing plumes, rich velvets and sparkling gems, with their accompaniments of full-fleshed, patrician countenances, took to itself a look of positive distinction. mrs. smart's theme, as announced by the president of the ontological club, was thought forces and the infinite, a somewhat formidable-sounding subject, but one which the pale, slight, plainly dressed but singularly bright-eyed lady, put forward as the speaker of the afternoon, showed no hesitancy in attacking. before three minutes had passed miss philura rice had forgotten that such things as shabby gloves, ill-fitting gowns, unbecoming bonnets and superfluous birthdays existed. in ten minutes more she was leaning forward in breathless attention, the faded eyes aglow, the unbecoming bonnet pushed back from a face more wistful than ever, but flushed with a joyful excitement. * * * * * "this unseen good hems us about on every side," the speaker was saying, with a comprehensive sweep of her capable-looking hands. "it presses upon us, more limitless, more inexhaustible, more free than the air that we breathe! out of it _every_ need, _every_ want, _every_ yearning of humanity can be, must be, supplied. to you, who have hitherto led starved lives, hungering, longing for the good things which you believe a distant and indifferent god has denied you--to you i declare that in this encircling, ever-present, invisible, exhaustless beneficence is already provided a lavish abundance of everything which you can possibly want or think! nay, desire itself is but god--good--love, knocking at the door of your consciousness. it is impossible for you to desire anything that is not already your own! it only remains for you to bring the invisible into visibility--to take of the everlasting substance what you will! "and how must you do this? ask, and _believe that you have_! you have asked many times, perhaps, and have failed to receive. why? you have failed to _believe_. ask, then, for what you will! ask, and at once return thanks for what you have asked! in the asking and _believing_ is the thing itself made manifest. declare that it is yours! expect it! believe it! hold to it without wavering--no matter how empty your hands may seem! _it is yours_, and god's infinite creation shall lapse into nothingness; his stars shall fall from high heaven like withered leaves sooner than that you shall fail to obtain all that you have asked!" when, at the close of the lecture, mrs. b. isabelle smart became the center of a polite yet insistent crush of satins, velvets and broadcloths, permeated by an aroma of violets and a gentle hum of delicate flattery, she was aware of a timid hand upon her arm, and turned to look into the small, eager face under the unfashionable bonnet. "you--you meant religious gifts, did you not?" faltered the faint, discouraged voice; "faith, hope and--and--the--the being resigned to god's will, and--and endeavoring to bear the cross with patience." * * * * * "i meant _everything_ that _you_ want," answered the bright-eyed one with deliberate emphasis, the bright eyes softening as they took in more completely the pinched outlines and the eager child's look shining from out the worn and faded woman's face. "but--but there is so much! i--i never had anything that i really wanted--things, you know, that one could hardly mention in one's prayers." "have them now. have them all. god is all. all is god. you are god's. god is yours!" then the billowing surges of silk and velvet swept the small, inquiring face into the background with the accustomed ease and relentlessness of billowing surges. having partaken copiously of certain "material beliefs" consisting of salads and sandwiches, accompanied by divers cups of strong coffee, mrs. j. mortimer van deuser had become pleasantly flushed and expansive. "a most unique, comprehensive and uplifting view of our spiritual environment," she remarked to miss philura when the two ladies found themselves on their homeward way. her best society smile still lingered blandly about the curves and creases of her stolid, high-colored visage; the dying violets on her massive satin bosom gave forth their sweetest parting breath. the little lady on the front seat of the carriage sat very erect; red spots glowed upon her faded cheeks. "i think," she said tremulously, "that it was just--wonderful! i--i am so very happy to have heard it. thank you a thousand times, dear cousin maria, for taking me." mrs. van deuser raised her gold-rimmed glasses and settled them under arching brows, while the society smile faded quite away. "of course," she said coldly, "one should make due and proper allowance for facts--as they exist. and also--er--consider above all what interpretation is best suited to one's individual station in life. truth, my dear philura, adapts itself freely to the needs of the poor and lowly as well as to the demands of those upon whom devolve the higher responsibilities of wealth and position; our dear master himself spoke of the poor as always with us, you will remember. a lowly but pious life, passed in humble recognition of god's chastening providence, is doubtless good and proper for many worthy persons." * * * * * miss philura's blue eyes flashed rebelliously for perhaps the first time in uncounted years. she made no answer. as for the long and presumably instructive homily on the duties and prerogatives of the lowly, lasting quite up to the moment when the carriage stopped before the door of mrs. van deuser's residence, it fell upon ears which heard not. indeed, her next remark was so entirely irrelevant that her august kinswoman stared in displeased amazement. "i am going to purchase some--some necessaries to-morrow, cousin maria; i should like fifine to go with me." miss philura acknowledged to herself, with a truthfulness which she felt to be almost brazen, that her uppermost yearnings were of a wholly mundane character. during a busy and joyous evening she endeavored to formulate these thronging desires; by bedtime she had even ventured--with the aid of a stubbed lead-pencil--to indite the most immediate and urgent of these wants as they knocked at the door of her consciousness. the list, hidden guiltily away in the depths of her shabby purse, read something as follows: "i wish to be beautiful and admired. i want two new dresses; a hat with plumes, and a silk petticoat that rustles. i want some new kid gloves and a feather boa (a long one made of ostrich feathers). i wish----" the small, blunt pencil had been lifted in air for the space of three minutes before it again descended; then, with cheeks that burned, miss philura had written the fateful words: "i wish to have a lover and to be married." "there, i have done it!" she said to herself, her little fingers trembling with agitation. "he must already exist in the encircling good. he is mine. i am engaged to be married at this very moment!" to lay this singular memorandum before her maker appeared to miss philura little short of sacrilegious; but the thought of the mysterious abundance of which the seeress had spoken, urging itself, as it were, upon her acceptance, encouraged her. she arose from her evening orisons with a glowing face. "i have asked," she said aloud, "and i _believe_ i shall have." * * * * * mademoiselle fifine passed a very enjoyable morning with miss philura. to choose, to purchase, and above all to transform the ugly into the beautiful, filled the french woman's breast with enthusiasm. her glance, as it rested upon her companion's face and figure, was no longer coldly critical, but cordially appreciative. "ze madame," she declared, showing her white teeth in a pleasant smile, "has very many advantage. _voilà_, ze hair--_c'est admirable_, as any one may perceive! pardon, while for one little minute i arrange! ah--_mon dieu!_ regard ze difference!" the two were at this moment in a certain millinery shop conducted by a discreet and agreeable compatriot of fifine's. this individual now produced a modest hat of black, garnished with plumes, which, set lightly on the loosened bands of golden-brown hair, completed the effect "_délicieusement!_" declared the french women in chorus. with a beating heart miss philura stared into the mirror at her changed reflection. "it is quite--quite true!" she said aloud. "it is all true." fifine and the milliner exchanged delighted shrugs and grimaces. in truth, the small, erect figure, in its perfectly fitting gown, bore no resemblance to the plain, elderly miss philura of yesterday. as for the face beneath the nodding plumes, it was actually radiant--transfigured--with joy and hope. mrs. j. mortimer van deuser regarded the apparition which greeted her at luncheon with open disapproval. this new miss philura, with the prettily flushed cheeks, the bright eyes, the fluff of waving hair, and--yes, actually a knot of fragrant violets at her breast, had given her an unpleasant shock of surprise. "i am sure i hope you can _afford_ all this," was her comment, with a deliberate adjustment of eyebrows and glasses calculated to add mordant point and emphasis to her words. "oh, yes," replied miss philura tranquilly, but with heightened color; "i can afford whatever i like now." mrs. van deuser stared hard at her guest. she found herself actually hesitating before philura rice. then she drew her massive figure to its full height, and again bent the compelling light of her gold-rimmed glasses full upon the small person of her kinswoman. "what--er--i do not understand," she began lamely. "_where_ did you obtain the money for all this!" miss philura raised her eyebrows ever so little--somehow they seemed to suit the clear blue eyes admirably today. "the money?" she repeated, in a tone of surprise. "why, out of the bank, of course." upon the fact that she had drawn out and expended in a single morning nearly the whole of the modest sum commonly made to supply her meager living for six months miss philura bestowed but a single thought. "in the all-encircling good," she said to herself serenely, "there is plenty of money for me; why, then, should i not spend this?" chapter two the village of innisfield was treated to a singular surprise on the sunday morning following, when miss philura rice, newly returned from her annual visit to boston, walked down the aisle to her accustomed place in the singers' seat. whispered comment and surmise flew from pew to pew, sandwiched irreverently between hymn, prayer and sermon. indeed, the last-mentioned portion of the service, being of unusual length and dullness, was utilized by the female members of the congregation in making a minute inventory of the amazing changes which had taken place in the familiar figure of their townswoman. "philury's had money left her, i shouldn't wonder;" "her cousin van deuser's been fixin' her up;" "she's a-goin' to be married!" were some of the opinions, wholly at variance with the text of the discourse, which found their way from mouth to mouth. miss electa pratt attached herself with decision to her friend, miss rice, directly the service was at an end. "i'm just _dying_ to hear all about it!" she exclaimed, with a fond pressure of the arm linked within her own--this after the two ladies had extricated themselves from the circle of curious and critical faces at the church door. miss philura surveyed the speaker with meditative eyes; it seemed to her that miss pratt was curiously altered since she had seen her last. "_have_ you had a fortune left you?" went on her inquisitor, blinking enviously at the nodding plumes which shaded miss philura's blue eyes. "everybody _says_ you have; and that you are going to get married soon. i'm sure you'll tell _me_ everything!" miss philura hesitated for a moment. "i haven't exactly had money left me," she began; then her eyes brightened. "i have all that i need," she said, and straightened her small figure confidently. "and _are_ you going to be married, dear?" "yes," said miss philura distinctly. "well, i _never_--philura rice!" almost screamed her companion. "do tell me _when_; and _who_ is it?" "i can not tell you that--now," said miss philura simply. "he is in----" she was about to add "the encircling good," but she reflected that miss pratt might fail to comprehend her. "i will introduce you to him--later," she concluded with dignity. to follow the fortunes of miss philura during the ensuing weeks were a pleasant though monotonous task; the encircling good proved itself wholly adequate to the demands made upon it. though there was little money in the worn purse, there were numerous and pressing invitations to tea, to dinner, and to spend the day, from hosts of friends who had suddenly become warm, affectionate, and cordially appreciative; and not even the new methodist minister's wife could boast of such lavish donations, in the shape of new-laid eggs, frosted cakes, delicate biscuit, toothsome crullers and choice fruits as found their way to miss philura's door. * * * * * the recipient of these manifold favors walked, as it were, upon air. "for unto every one that hath shall be given," she read in the privacy of her own shabby little parlor, "and he shall have abundance." "everything that i want is mine!" cried the little lady, bedewing the pages of holy writ with happy tears. the thought of the lover and husband who, it is true, yet lingered in the invisible, brought a becoming blush to her cheek. "i shall see him soon," she reflected tranquilly. "he is mine--mine!" at that very moment miss electa pratt was seated in the awe-inspiring reception-room of mrs. j. mortimer van deuser's residence in beacon street. the two ladies were engaged in earnest conversation. * * * * * "what you tell me with regard to philura fills me with surprise and alarm," mrs. van deuser was remarking with something more than her accustomed majesty of tone and mien. "philura rice certainly did _not_ become engaged to be married during her stay in boston. neither has she been the recipient of funds from myself, nor, to the best of my knowledge, from any other member of the family. personally, i have always been averse to the encouragement of extravagance and vanity in those destined by a wise providence to pass their lives in a humble station. i fear exceedingly that philura's visits to boston have failed to benefit her as i wished and intended." "but she _said_ that she had money, and that she was going to get married," persisted miss pratt. "you don't suppose"--lowering her strident tones to a whisper--"that the poor thing is going crazy?" * * * * * mrs. van deuser had concentrated her intellectual and penetrating orbs upon a certain triangular knob that garnished the handle of her visitor's umbrella; she vouchsafed no reply. when she did speak, after the lapse of some moments, it was to dismiss that worthy person with a practiced ease and adroitness which permitted of nothing further, either in the way of information or conjecture. "philura is, after all, a distant relative of my own," soliloquized mrs. van deuser, "and _as such_ is entitled to consideration." her subsequent cogitations presently took shape to themselves and became a letter, dispatched in the evening mail and bearing the address of the rev. silas pettibone, innisfield. mrs. van deuser recalled in this missive miss philura's "unfortunate visit" to the ontological club, and the patent indications of its equally unfortunate consequences. "i should be inclined to take myself severely to task in the matter," wrote the excellent and conscientious lady, "if i had not improved the opportunity to explain at length, in the hearing of my misguided relative, the nature and scope of god's controlling providence, as signally displayed in his dealings with the humbler classes of society. as an under-shepherd of the lowly flock to which miss rice belongs, my dear mr. pettibone, i lay her spiritual state before you, and beg that you will at once endeavor to set right her erroneous views of the overruling guidance of the supreme being. i shall myself intercede for philura before the throne of grace." * * * * * the rev. silas pettibone read this remarkable communication with interest; indeed, after returning it to its envelope and bestowing it in his most inaccessible coat-pocket, the under-shepherd of the lowly flock of innisfield gave himself the task of resurrecting and reperusing the succinct yet weighty words of mrs. van deuser. if the rev. silas had been blessed with a wife, to whose nimbler wits he might have submitted the case, it is probable that he would not have sat for so long a time in his great chair brooding over the contents of the violet-tinted envelope from boston. but unfortunately the good minister had been forced to lay his helpmate beneath the rough sods of the village churchyard some three years previous. since this sad event, it is scarcely necessary to state, he had found it essential to his peace of mind to employ great discretion in his dealings with the female members of his flock. he viewed the matter in hand with vague misgivings. strangely enough, he had not heard of miss philura's good fortune, and to his masculine and impartial vision there had appeared no especial change in the aspect or conduct of the the little woman. "let me think," he mused, passing his white hand through the thick, dark locks, just touched with gray, which shaded his perplexed forehead. he was a personable man, was the rev. silas pettibone. "let me think: miss philura has been very regular in her attendance at church and prayer-meeting of late. no, i have observed nothing wrong--nothing blameworthy in her walk and conversation. but i can not approve of these--ah--clubs." he again cast his eye upon the letter. "ontology, now, is certainly not a fit subject for the consideration of the female mind." * * * * * having delivered himself of this sapient opinion, the reverend gentleman made ready for a round of parochial visits. foremost on his list appeared the name of miss philura rice. as he stood upon the door-step, shaded on either side by fragrant lilac plumes, he resolved to be particularly brief, though impressive, in his pastoral ministrations. if this especial member of his flock had wandered from the straight and narrow way into forbidden by-paths, it was his manifest duty to restore her in the spirit of meekness; but he would waste no unnecessary time or words in the process. the sunshine, pleasantly interrupted by snowy muslin curtains, streamed in through the open windows of miss philura's modest parlor, kindling into scarlet flame the blossoms of the thrifty geranium which stood upon the sill, and flickered gently on the brown head of the little mistress of the house, seated with her sewing in a favorite rocking-chair. miss philura was unaffectedly glad to see her pastor. she told him at once that last sunday's sermon was inspiring; that she felt sure that after hearing it the unconverted could hardly fail to be convinced of the error of their ways. the rev. silas pettibone seated himself opposite miss philura and regarded her attentively. the second-best new dress was undeniably becoming; the blue eyes under the childish brows beamed upon him cordially. "i am pleased to learn--ah--that you can approve the discourse of sabbath morning," he began in somewhat labored fashion. "i have had occasion to--that is--er, my attention has been called of late to the fact that certain members of the church have--well, to put it briefly, some have fallen grievously away from the faith." miss philura's sympathy and concern were at once apparent. "i do not see," she said simply, "how one can fall away from the faith. it is so beautiful to believe!" * * * * * the small, upturned face shone with so sweet and serene a light that the under-shepherd of the innisfield flock leaned forward and fixed his earnest brown eyes on the clear blue eyes of the lady. in treatises relating to the affections this stage of the proceedings is generally conceded to mark a crisis. it marked a crisis on this occasion; during that moment the rev. silas pettibone forgot at once and for all time the violet-tinted envelope in his coat-tail pocket. it was discovered six month's later and consigned to oblivion by--but let us not anticipate. "god is so kind, _so generous_!" pursued miss philura softly. "if we once know him as our father we can never again be afraid, or lonely, or poor, or lacking for any good thing. how is it possible to fall away? i do not understand. is it not because they do not know him?" it is altogether likely that the pastor of the innisfield presbyterian church found conditions in the spiritual state of miss philura which necessitated earnest and prolonged admonition; at all events, the sun was sinking behind the western horizon when the reverend gentleman slowly and thoughtfully made his way toward the parsonage. curiously enough, this highly respectable domicile had taken on during his absence an aspect of gloom and loneliness unpleasantly apparent. "a scarlet geranium in the window might improve it," thought the vaguely dissatisfied proprietor, as he put on his dressing-gown and thrust his feet into his newest pair of slippers. (presented by miss electa pratt "to my pastor, with grateful affection.") "i believe i failed to draw miss philura's attention to the obvious relation between faith and works," cogitated the reverend silas, as he sat before his lonely hearth, placidly scorching the soles of his new slippers before the cheerful blaze. "it will be altogether advisable, i think, to set her right on that point without delay. i will--ah--just look in again for a moment to-morrow afternoon." * * * * * "god's purposes will ripen fast, unfolding every hour. the bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flower!" sang the choir of the innisfield presbyterian church one sunday morning a month later. and miss philura rice--as was afterward remarked--sang the words with such enthusiasm and earnestness that her high soprano soared quite above all the other voices in the choir, and this despite the fact that miss electa pratt was putting forth her nasal contralto with more than wonted insistence. the last-mentioned lady found the sermon--on the text, "little children, love one another, for love is of god"--so extremely convincing, and her own subsequent spiritual state in such an agitated condition, that she took occasion to seek a private conversation with her pastor in his study on that same sunday afternoon. "i don't know _when_ i've been so wrought up!" declared miss pratt, with a preliminary display of immaculate handkerchief. "i cried _and cried_ after i got home from church this morning. ma she sez to me, sez she, 'what ails you lecty?' and i sez to ma, sez i, 'ma, it was that _blessed_ sermon. i don't know _when_ i ever heard anything like it! that dear pastor of ours is just ripening for a better world!'" miss electa paused a moment to shed copious tears over this statement. "it does seem to me, _dear_ mr. pettibone," she resumed, with a tender glance and a comprehensive sniff, "that you ain't looking as well as usual. i said so to philura rice as we was coming out of church, and i really hate to tell you how she answered me; only i feel as though it was my duty. 'mr. pettibone is perfectly well!' she says, and tossed those feathers of hers higher'n ever. philura's awful worldly, i _do grieve_ to say--_if not worse_. i've been a-thinking for some time that it was my christian duty (however painful) to tell you what mis' van deuser, of boston, said about----" the rev. silas pettibone frowned with awful dignity. he brought down his closed fist upon his open bible with forensic force and suddenness. "miss philura rice," he said emphatically, "is one of the most spiritual--the most lovely and consistent--christian characters it has ever been my privilege to know. her faith and unworldliness are absolutely beyond the comprehension of--of--many of my flock. i must further tell you that i hope to have the great happiness of leading miss rice to the matrimonial altar in the near future." miss electa pratt sank back in her chair petrified with astonishment. "well, i _must say_!" she gasped. "and she was engaged to you _all this time_ and i never knew it!" the rev. pettibone bent his eyes coldly upon his agitated parishioner. "i am at a loss to comprehend your very strange comment, miss pratt," he said; "the engagement has been of such very short duration that i can not regard it as surprising that you should not have heard of it. it--ah--took place only yesterday." miss electa straightened her angular shoulders with a jerk. "yesterday!" she almost screamed. "well! i can tell _you_ that philura rice told _me_ that she was engaged to be married more than three months ago!" "you are certainly mistaken, madam," began the minister in a somewhat perturbed tone, which did not escape the notice of the now flushed and triumphant spinster. "more than three months ago!" she repeated with incisive emphasis. "_now_ maybe you'll listen to me while i tell you what i know about philura rice!" but the lady had reckoned without her host. the rev. silas arose to his feet with decision. "i certainly will _not_ listen to anything derogatory to miss rice," he said sternly. "she is my promised wife, you will remember." with that the prudent minister beat a hasty retreat, to entrench himself without apology or delay in the inner fastnesses of the parsonage. * * * * * miss electa rolled her greenish orbs about the chamber of learning with a thoughtful smile. "if philura rice ain't crazy," she said aloud; "an' i guess she ain't far from it. she's told a wicked lie! in either case, it's my christian duty to see this thing put a stop to!" that evening after service miss philura, her modest cheeks dyed with painful blushes, confessed to her promised husband that she had indeed announced her intentions of matrimony some three months previous. "i wanted somebody to--to love me," she faltered; "somebody in particular, you know; and--and i asked god to give me--a--a husband. after i had asked, of course i _believed_ that _i had_. he--he was already in the encircling good, you know, or i should not have wanted him! when electa asked me point blank, what could i say without--without denying--_god_?" the brave voice faltered more than once during this recital; and finally broke down altogether when the rev. silas pettibone, his brown eyes shining, exclaimed in joyful yet solemn tones, "and god sent me!" the encircling good was perfectly manifest at that moment in the shape of two strong arms. miss philura rested in them and was glad. the hour-glass stories * * * * * the courtship of sweet anne page by ellen v. talbot. a brisk little love story incidental to "the merry wives of windsor," full of fun and frolic, and telling of the courtship of sweet anne page by three rivals lovers chosen by her father, her mother, and herself. the sandals by rev. zelotes grenell. a beautiful little idyl of sacred story dealing with the sandals of christ. the transfiguration of miss philura by florence morse kingsley. this clever story is based on the theory that every physical need and every desire of the human heart can be claimed and received from the "encircling good" by the true believer. the herr doctor by robert macdonald. a novelette of artistic literary merit, narrating the varied experiences of an american girl in her effort toward capturing a titled husband. esarhaddon by count leo tolstoy. three allegorical stories illustrating tolstoy's theories of non-resistance, and the essential unity of all forms of life. the czar's gift by william ordway partridge. how freedom was obtained for an exiled brother. the emancipation of miss susana an entrancing love story that ends in a most romantic marriage. the old darnman by charles l. goodell, d.d. a character known to many a new england boy and girl, in which the "lost bride" is the occasion for a lifelong search from door to door. balm in gilead by florence morse kingsley. a very touching story of a mother's grief over the loss of her child of tender years, and her search for comfort, which she finds at last in her husband's loyal christian faith. miserere by mabel wagnalls. the romantic story of a sweet voice that thrilled great audiences in operatic paris, berlin, etc. parsifal by h. r. haweis. an intimate study of the great operatic masterpiece. the trouble woman by clara morris. a pathetic little story full of heart interest. the return of caroline by florence morse kingsley. companion story to the "transfiguration of miss philura," by the same author. * * * * * _small l mo, dainty cloth binding, illustrated._ _ cents each_ funk & wagnalls company, pubs. new york and london george muller of bristol and his witness to a prayer-hearing god by arthur t. pierson author of "the crisis of missions," "the new acts of the apostles," "many infallible proofs," etc.; editor of "the missionary review of the world," etc. with an introduction by james wright son-in-law and successor in the work of george muller illustrated new york chicago toronto fleming h. revell company london and edinburgh copyright, , by the baker and taylor co. [transcriber's note: george muller's family name is germanic in origin. everywhere that his name appears in the printed text, the letter "u" is marked with two dots above it (called an 'umlaut') to show that it is pronounced differently from the way the unmarked vowel is normally pronounced. so his name is usually pronounced in english as myew-ler, not as mool-ler or mull-ler.] introduction very soon after the decease of my beloved father-in-law i began to receive letters pressing upon me the desirableness of issuing as soon as possible a memoir of him and his work. the well-known autobiography, entitled "narrative of the lord's dealings with george muller," had been, and was still being, so greatly used by god in the edification of believers and the conversion of unbelievers that i hesitated to countenance any attempt to supersede or even supplement it. but as, with prayer, i reflected upon the subject, several considerations impressed me: st. the last volume of the narrative ends with the year , so that there is no record of the last thirteen years of mr. muller's life excepting what is contained in the yearly reports of "the scriptural knowledge institution." d. the last three volumes of the narrative, being mainly a condensation of the yearly reports during the period embraced in them, contain much unavoidable repetition. d. a book of, say, four hundred and fifty pages, containing the substance of the four volumes of the narrative, and carrying on the history to the date of the decease of the founder of the institution, would meet the desire of a large class of readers. th. several brief sketches of mr. muller's career had issued from the press within a few days after the funeral; and one (written by mr. f. warne and published by w. f. mack & co., bristol), a very accurate and truly appreciative sketch, had had a large circulation; but i was convinced by the letters that reached me that a more comprehensive memoir was called for, and _would be_ produced, so i was led especially to pray for _guidance_ that such a book might be entrusted to the author fitted by god to undertake it. while waiting for the answer to this definite petition, though greatly urged by publishers to proceed, i steadily declined to take any step until i had clearer light. moreover, i was, personally, occupied during may and june in preparing the annual report of "the scriptural knowledge institution," and could not give proper attention to the other matter. just then i learned from dr. arthur t. pierson, of brooklyn, n. y., that he had been led to undertake the production of a memoir of mr. muller for american readers, and requesting my aid by furnishing him with some materials needed for the work. having complied with this request i was favoured by dr. pierson with a syllabus of the method and contents of his intended work. the more i thought upon the subject the more satisfied i became that no one could be found more fitted to undertake the work which had been called for on this side of the atlantic also than this my well-known and beloved friend. he had had exceptional opportunities twenty years ago in the united states, and in later years when visiting great britain, for becoming intimately acquainted with mr. muller, with the principles on which the orphanage and other branches of "the scriptural knowledge institution" were carried on, and with many details of their working. i knew that dr. pierson most thoroughly sympathized with these principles as being according to the mind of god revealed in his word; and that he could, therefore, present not merely the history of the external facts and results of mr. muller's life and labours, but could and would, by god's help, unfold, with the ardour and force of _conviction,_ the secret springs of that life and of those labours. i therefore intimated to my dear friend that, provided he would allow me to read the manuscript and have thus the opportunity of making any suggestions that i felt necessary, i would, as my beloved father-in-law's executor and representative, gladly endorse his work as the authorized memoir for british as well as american readers. to this dr. pierson readily assented; and now, after carefully going through the whole, i confidently recommend the book to esteemed readers on both sides of the atlantic, with the earnest prayer that the result, in relation to the subject of this memoir, may be identical with that produced by the account of the apostle paul's "manner of life" upon the churches of judea which were in christ (gal. i. ), viz., "they glorified god" in him. james wright. charlotte street, park street, bristol, eng., march, . a prefatory word dr. oliver w. holmes wittily said that an autobiography is what every biography _ought to be._ the four volumes of "the narrative of the lord's dealings with george muller," already issued from the press and written by his own hand, with a fifth volume covering his missionary tours, and prepared by his wife, supplemented by the annual reports since published, constitute essentially an autobiography--mr. muller's own life-story, stamped with his own peculiar individuality, and singularly and minutely complete. to those who wish the simple journal of his life with the details of his history, these printed documents make any other sketch of him from other hands so far unnecessary. there are, however, two considerations which have mainly prompted the preparation of this brief memoir: first, that the facts of this remarkable life might be set forth not so much with reference to the chronological order of their occurrence, as events, as for the sake of the lessons in living which they furnish, illustrating and enforcing grand spiritual principles and precepts: and secondly, because no man so humble as he would ever write of himself what, after his departure, another might properly write of him that others might glorify god in him. no one could have undertaken this work of writing mr. muller's life-story without being deeply impressed with the opportunity thus afforded for impressing the most vital truths that concern holy living and holy serving; nor could any one have completed such a work without feeling overawed by the argument which this narrative furnishes for a present, living, prayer-hearing god, and for a possible and practical daily walk with him and work with him. it has been a great help in the preparation of this book that the writer has had such frequent converse with mr. james wright, who was so long mr. muller's associate and knew him so intimately. so prominent was the word of god as a power in mr. muller's life that, in an appendix, we have given peculiar emphasis to the great leading texts of scripture which inspired and guided his faith and conduct, and, so far as possible, in the order in which such texts became practically influential in his life; and so many wise and invaluable counsels are to be found scattered throughout his journal that some of the most striking and helpful have been selected, which may also be found in the appendix. this volume has, like the life it sketches, but one aim. it is simply and solely meant to extend, emphasize, and perpetuate george muller's witness to a prayer-hearing god; to present, as plainly, forcibly, and briefly as is practicable, the outlines of a human history, and an experience of the lord's leadings and dealings, which furnish a sufficient answer to the question: where is the lord god of elijah? table of contents page introduction by mr. james wright ........ a prefatory word ..... chapter i. from his birth to his new birth ......... chapter ii. the new birth and the new life ...... chapter iii. making ready the chosen vessel ...... chapter iv. new steps and stages of preparation .... chapter v. the pulpit and the pastorate .......... chapter vi. "the narrative of the lord's dealings" ...... chapter vii. led of god into a new sphere ........ chapter viii. a tree of god's own planting ........ chapter ix. the growth of god's own plant ........ chapter x. the word of god and prayer ..... chapter xi. trials of faith and helpers to faith ....... chapter xii. new lessons in god's school of prayer ...... chapter xiii. following the pillar of cloud and fire ...... chapter xiv. god's building: the new orphan houses ..... chapter xv. the manifold grace of god ........... chapter xvi. the shadow of a great sorrow ..... chapter xvii. the period of world-wide witness ........ chapter xviii. faith and patience in serving .......... chapter xix. at evening-time-light ............. chapter xx. the summary of the life-work ...... chapter xxi. church life and growth ... chapter xxii. a glance at the gifts and the givers ... chapter xxiii. god's witness to the work ........ chapter xxiv. last looks, backward and forward .... appendix. a. scripture texts that moulded george muller .... b. apprehension of truth ............ c. separation from the london society, etc. .... d. the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad .... e. reasons which led mr. muller to establish an orphan house .... f. arguments in prayer for the orphan work .... g. the purchase of a site, etc. ......... h. god's faithfulness in providing ........ k. further recollections of mr. muller ..... l. church fellowship, baptism, etc. ........ m. church conduct ............... n. the wise sayings of george muller ... george muller of bristol chapter i from his birth to his new birth a human life, filled with the presence and power of god, is one of god's choicest gifts to his church and to the world. things which are unseen and eternal seem, to the carnal man, distant and indistinct, while what is seen and temporal is vivid and real. practically, any object in nature that can be seen or felt is thus more real and actual to most men than the living god. every man who walks with god, and finds him a present help in every time of need; who puts his promises to the practical proof and verifies them in actual experience; every believer who with the key of faith unlocks god's mysteries, and with the key of prayer unlocks god's treasuries, thus furnishes to the race a demonstration and an illustration of the fact that "he is, and is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." george muller was such an argument and example incarnated in human flesh. here was a man of like passions as we are and tempted in all points like as we are, but who believed god and was established by believing; who prayed earnestly that he might live a life and do a work which should be a convincing proof that god hears prayer and that it is safe to trust him at all times; and who has furnished just such a witness as he desired. like enoch, he truly walked with god, and had abundant testimony borne to him that he pleased god. and when, on the tenth day of march, , it was told us of george muller that "he was not," we knew that "god had taken him": it seemed more like a translation than like death. to those who are familiar with his long life-story, and, most of all, to those who intimately knew him and felt the power of personal contact with him, he was one of god's ripest saints and himself a living proof that a life of faith is possible; that god may be known, communed with, found, and may become a conscious companion in the daily life. george muller proved for himself and for all others who will receive his witness that, to those who are willing to take god at his word and to yield self to his will, he is "the same yesterday and to-day and forever": that the days of divine intervention and deliverance are past only to those with whom the days of faith and obedience are past--in a word, that believing prayer works still the wonders which our fathers told of in the days of old. the life of this man may best be studied, perhaps, by dividing it into certain marked periods, into which it naturally falls, when we look at those leading events and experiences which are like punctuation-marks or paragraph divisions,--as, for example: . from his birth to his new birth or conversion: - . . from his conversion to full entrance on his life-work: - . . from this point to the period of his mission tours: - . . from the beginning to the close of these tours: - . . from the close of his tours to his death: - . thus the first period would cover twenty years; the second, ten; the third, forty; the fourth, seventeen; and the last, six. however thus unequal in length, each forms a sort of epoch, marked by certain conspicuous and characteristic features which serve to distinguish it and make its lessons peculiarly important and memorable. for example, the first period is that of the lost days of sin, in which the great lesson taught is the bitterness and worthlessness of a disobedient life. in the second period may be traced the remarkable steps of preparation for the great work of his life. the third period embraces the actual working out of the divine mission committed to him. then for seventeen or eighteen years we find him bearing in all parts of the earth his world-wide witness to god; and the last six years were used of god in mellowing and maturing his christian character. during these years he was left in peculiar loneliness, yet this only made him lean more on the divine companionship, and it was noticeable with those who were brought into most intimate contact with him that he was more than ever before heavenly-minded, and the beauty of the lord his god was upon him. the first period may be passed rapidly by, for it covers only the wasted years of a sinful and profligate youth and early manhood. it is of interest mainly as illustrating the sovereignty of that grace which abounds even to the chief of sinners. who can read the story of that score of years and yet talk of piety as the product of evolution? in his case, instead of evolution, there was rather a _revolution,_ as marked and complete as ever was found, perhaps, in the annals of salvation. if lord george lyttelton could account for the conversion of saul of tarsus only by supernatural power, what would he have thought of george muller's transformation! saul had in his favor a conscience, however misguided, and a morality, however pharisaic. george muller was a flagrant sinner against common honesty and decency, and his whole early career was a revolt, not against god only, but against his own moral sense. if saul was a hardened transgressor, how callous must have been george muller! he was a native of prussia, born at kroppenstaedt, near halberstadt, september , . less than five years later his parents removed to heimersleben, some four miles off, where his father was made collector of the excise, again removing about eleven years later to schoenebeck, near magdeburg, where he had obtained another appointment. george muller had no proper parental training. his father's favoritism toward him was harmful both to himself and to his brother, as in the family of jacob, tending to jealousy and estrangement. money was put too freely into the hands of these boys, hoping that they might learn how to use it and save it; but the result was, rather, careless and vicious waste, for it became the source of many childish sins of indulgence. worse still, when called upon to render any account of their stewardship, sins of lying and deception were used to cloak wasteful spending. young george systematically deceived his father, either by false entries of what he had received, or by false statements of what he had spent or had on hand. when his tricks were found out, the punishment which followed led to no reformation, the only effect being more ingenious devices of trickery and fraud. like the spartan lad, george muller reckoned it no fault to steal, but only to have his theft found out. his own brief account of his boyhood shows a very bad boy and he attempts no disguise. before he was ten years old he was a habitual thief and an expert at cheating; even government funds, entrusted to his father, were not safe from his hands. suspicion led to the laying of a snare into which he fell: a sum of money was carefully counted and put where he would find it and have a chance to steal it. he took it and hid it under his foot in his shoe, but, he being searched and the money being found, it became clear to whom the various sums previously missing might be traced. his father wished him educated for a clergyman, and before he was eleven he was sent to the cathedral classical school at halberstadt to be fitted for the university. that such a lad should be deliberately set apart for such a sacred office and calling, by a father who knew his moral obliquities and offences, seems incredible--but, where a state church exists, the ministry of the gospel is apt to be treated as a human profession rather than as a divine vocation, and so the standards of fitness often sink to the low secular level, and the main object in view becomes the so-called "living," which is, alas, too frequently independent of _holy_ living. from this time the lad's studies were mixed up with novel-reading and various vicious indulgences. card-playing and even strong drink got hold of him. the night when his mother lay dying, her boy of fourteen was reeling through the streets, drunk; and even her death failed to arrest his wicked course or to arouse his sleeping conscience. and--as must always be the case when such solemn reminders make one no better--he only grew worse. when he came to the age for confirmation he had to attend the class for preparatory religious teaching; but this being to him a mere form, and met in a careless spirit, another false step was taken: sacred things were treated as common, and so conscience became the more callous. on the very eve of confirmation and of his first approach to the lord's table he was guilty of gross sins; and on the day previous, when he met the clergyman for the customary "confession of sin," he planned and practised another shameless fraud, withholding from him eleven-twelfths of the confirmation fee entrusted to him by his father! in such frames of mind and with such habits of life george muller, in the easter season of , was confirmed and became a communicant. confirmed, indeed! but in sin, not only immoral and unregenerate, but so ignorant of the very rudiments of the gospel of christ that he could not have stated to an inquiring soul the simple terms of the plan of salvation. there was, it is true about such serious and sacred transactions, a vague solemnity which left a transient impression and led to shallow resolves to live a better life; but there was no real sense of sin or of repentance toward god, nor was there any dependence upon a higher strength: and, without these, efforts at self-amendment never prove of value or work lasting results. the story of this wicked boyhood presents but little variety, except that of sin and crime. it is one long tale of evil-doing and of the sorrow which it brings. once, when his money was all recklessly wasted, hunger drove him to steal a bit of coarse bread from a soldier who was a fellow lodger; and looking back, long afterward, to that hour of extremity, he exclaimed, "what a bitter thing is the service of satan, even in this world!" on his father's removal to schoenebeck in he asked to be sent to the cathedral school at magdeburg, inwardly hoping thus to break away from his sinful snares and vicious companions, and, amid new scenes, find help in self-reform. he was not, therefore, without at least occasional aspirations after moral improvement; but again he made the common and fatal mistake of overlooking the source of all true betterment. "god was not in all his thoughts." he found that to leave one place for another was not to leave his sin behind, for he took himself along. his father, with a strange fatuity, left him to superintend sundry alterations in his house at heimersleben, arranging for him meanwhile to read classics with the resident clergyman, rev. dr. nagel. being thus for a time his own master, temptation opened wide doors before him. he was allowed to collect dues from his father's debtors, and again he resorted to fraud, spending large sums of this money and concealing the fact that it had been paid. in november, , he went to magdeburg and to brunswick, to which latter place he was drawn by his passion for a young roman catholic girl, whom he had met there soon after confirmation. in this absence from home he took one step after another in the path of wicked indulgence. first of all, by lying to his tutor he got his consent to his going; then came a week of sin at magdeburg and a wasting of his father's means at a costly hotel in brunswick. his money being gone, he went to the house of an uncle until he was sent away; then, at another expensive hotel, he ran up bills until, payment being demanded, he had to leave his best clothes as a security, barely escaping arrest. then, at wolfenbuttel, he tried the same bold scheme again, until, having nothing for deposit, he ran off, but this time was caught and sent to jail. this boy of sixteen was already a liar and thief, swindler and drunkard, accomplished only in crime, a companion of convicted felons and himself in a felon's cell. this cell, a few days later, a thief shared: and these two held converse as fellow thieves, relating their adventures to one another, and young muller, that he might not be outdone, invented lying tales of villainy to make himself out the more famous fellow of the two! ten or twelve days passed in this wretched fellowship, until disagreement led to a sullen silence between them. and so passed away twenty-four dark days, from december , , until the th of january ensuing, during all of which george muller was shut up in prison and during part of which he sought as a favour the company of a thief. his father learned of his disgrace and sent money to meet his hotel dues and other "costs" and pay for his return home. yet such was his persistent wickedness that, going from a convict's cell to confront his outraged but indulgent parent, he chose as his companion in travel an avowedly wicked man. he was severely chastised by his father and felt that he must make some effort to reinstate himself in his favour. he therefore studied hard and took pupils in arithmetic and german, french and latin. this outward reform so pleased his father that he shortly forgot as well as forgave his evil-doing; but again it was only the outside of the cup and platter that was made clean: the secret heart was still desperately wicked and the whole life, as god saw it, was an abomination. george muller now began to forge what he afterward called "a whole chain of lies." when his father would no longer consent to his staying at home, he left, ostensibly for halle, the university town, to be examined, but really for nordhausen to seek entrance into the gymnasium. he avoided halle because he dreaded its severe discipline, and foresaw that restraint would be doubly irksome when constantly meeting young fellows of his acquaintance who, as students in the university, would have much more freedom than himself. on returning home he tried to conceal this fraud from his father; but just before he was to leave again for nordhausen the truth became known, which made needful new links in that chain of lies to account for his systematic disobedience and deception. his father, though angry, permitted him to go to nordhausen, where he remained from october, , till easter, . during these two and a half years he studied classics, french, history, etc., living with the director of the gymnasium. his conduct so improved that he rose in favour and was pointed to as an example for the other lads, and permitted to accompany the master in his walks, to converse with him in latin. at this time he was a hard student, rising at four a.m. the year through, and applying himself to his books till ten at night. nevertheless, by his own confession, behind all this formal propriety there lay secret sin and utter alienation from god. his vices induced an illness which for thirteen weeks kept him in his room. he was not without a religious bent, which led to the reading of such books as klopstock's works, but he neither cared for god's word, nor had he any compunction for trampling upon god's law. in his library, now numbering about three hundred books, no bible was found. cicero and horace, moliere and voltaire, he knew and valued, but of the holy scriptures he was grossly ignorant, and as indifferent to them as he was ignorant of them. twice a year, according to prevailing custom, he went to the lord's supper, like others who had passed the age of confirmation, and he could not at such seasons quite avoid religious impressions. when the consecrated bread and wine touched his lips he would sometimes take an oath to reform, and for a few days refrain from some open sins; but there was no spiritual life to act as a force within, and his vows were forgotten almost as soon as made. the old satan was too strong for the young muller, and, when the mighty passions of his evil nature were roused, his resolves and endeavours were as powerless to hold him as were the new cords which bound samson, to restrain him, when he awoke from his slumber. it is hard to believe that this young man of twenty could lie without a blush and with the air of perfect candor. when dissipation dragged him into the mire of debt, and his allowance would not help him out, he resorted again to the most ingenious devices of falsehood. he pretended that the money wasted in riotous living had been stolen by violence, and, to carry out the deception he studied the part of an actor. forcing the locks of his trunk and guitar-case, he ran into the director's room half dressed and feigning fright, declaring that he was the victim of a robbery, and excited such pity that friends made up a purse to cover his supposed losses. suspicion was, however, awakened that he had been playing a false part, and he never regained the master's confidence; and though he had even then no sense of sin, shame at being detected in such meanness and hypocrisy made him shrink from ever again facing the director's wife, who, in his long sickness, had nursed him like a mother. such was the man who was not only admitted to honourable standing as a university student, but accepted as a candidate for holy orders, with permission to preach in the lutheran establishment. this student of divinity knew nothing of god or salvation, and was ignorant even of the gospel plan of saving grace. he felt the need for a better life, but no godly motives swayed him. reformation was a matter purely of expediency: to continue in profligacy would bring final exposure, and no parish would have him as a pastor. to get a valuable "cure" and a good "living" he must make attainments in divinity, pass a good examination, and have at least a decent reputation. worldly policy urged him to apply himself on the one hand to his studies and on the other to self-reform. again he met defeat, for he had never yet found the one source and secret of all strength. scarce had he entered halle before his resolves proved frail as a spider's web, unable to restrain him from vicious indulgences. he refrained indeed from street brawls and duelling, because they would curtail his liberty, but he knew as yet no moral restraints. his money was soon spent, and he borrowed till he could find no one to lend, and then pawned his watch and clothes. he could not but be wretched, for it was plain to what a goal of poverty and misery, dishonour and disgrace, such paths lead. policy loudly urged him to abandon his evil-doing, but piety had as yet no voice in his life. he went so far, however, as to choose for a friend a young man and former schoolmate, named beta, whose quiet seriousness might, as he hoped, steady his own course. but he was leaning on a broken reed, for beta was himself a backslider. again he was taken ill. god made him to "possess the iniquities of his youth." after some weeks he was better, and once more his conduct took on the semblance of improvement. the true mainspring of all well-regulated lives was still lacking, and sin soon broke out in unholy indulgence. george muller was an adept at the ingenuity of vice. what he had left he pawned to get money, and with beta and two others went on a four days' pleasure-drive, and then planned a longer tour in the alps. barriers were in the way, for both money and passports were lacking; but fertility of invention swept all such barriers away. forged letters, purporting to be from their parents, brought passports for the party, and books, put in pawn, secured money. forty-three days were spent in travel, mostly afoot; and during this tour george muller, holding, like judas, the common purse, proved, like him, a thief, for he managed to make his companions pay one third of his own expenses. the party were back in halle before the end of september, and george muller went home to spend the rest of his vacation. to account plausibly to his father for the use of his allowance a new chain of lies was readily devised. so soon and so sadly were all his good resolves again broken. when once more in halle, he little knew that the time had come when he was to become a new man in christ jesus. he was to find god, and that discovery was to turn into a new channel the whole current of his life. the sin and misery of these twenty years would not have been reluctantly chronicled but to make the more clear that his conversion was a supernatural work, inexplicable without god. there was certainly nothing in himself to 'evolve' such a result, nor was there anything in his 'environment.' in that university town there were no natural forces that could bring about a revolution in character and conduct such as he experienced. twelve hundred and sixty students were there gathered, and nine hundred of them were divinity students, yet even of the latter number, though all were permitted to preach, not one hundredth part, he says, actually "feared the lord." formalism displaced pure and undefiled religion, and with many of them immorality and infidelity were cloaked behind a profession of piety. surely such a man, with such surroundings, could undergo no radical change of character and life without the intervention of some mighty power from without and from above! what this force was, and how it wrought upon him and in him, we are now to see. chapter ii the new birth and the new life the lost days of sin, now forever past, the days of heaven upon earth began to dawn, to grow brighter till the perfect day. we enter the second period of this life we are reviewing. after a score of years of evil-doing george muller was converted to god, and the radical nature of the change strikingly proves and displays the sovereignty of almighty grace. he had been kept amid scenes of outrageous and flagrant sin, and brought through many perils, as well as two serious illnesses, because divine purposes of mercy were to be fulfilled in him. no other explanation can adequately account for the facts. let those who would explain such a conversion without taking god into account remember that it was at a time when this young sinner was as careless as ever; when he had not for years read the bible or had a copy of it in his possession; when he had seldom gone to a service of worship, and had never yet even heard one gospel sermon; when he had never been told by any believer what it is to believe on the lord jesus christ and to live by god's help and according to his word; when, in fact, he had no conception of the first principles of the doctrine of christ, and knew not the real nature of a holy life, but thought all others to be as himself, except in the degree of depravity and iniquity. this young man had thus grown to manhood without having learned that rudimental truth that sinners and saints differ not in degree but in kind; that if any man be in christ, he is a new creation; yet the hard heart of such a man, at such a time and in such conditions, was so wrought upon by the holy spirit that he suddenly found entrance into a new sphere of life, with new adaptations to its new atmosphere. the divine hand in this history is doubly plain when, as we now look back, we see that this was also the period of preparation for his life-work--a preparation the more mysterious because he had as yet no conception or forecast of that work. during the next ten years we shall watch the divine potter, to whom george muller was a chosen vessel for service, moulding and fitting the vessel for his use. every step is one of preparation, but can be understood only in the light which that future casts backward over the unique ministry to the church and the world, to which this new convert was all unconsciously separated by god and was to become so peculiarly consecrated. one saturday afternoon about the middle of november, , beta said to muller, as they were returning from a walk, that he was going that evening to a meeting at a believer's house, where he was wont to go on saturdays, and where a few friends met to sing, to pray, and to read the word of god and a printed sermon. such a programme held out nothing fitted to draw a man of the world who sought his daily gratifications at the card-table and in the wine-cup, the dance and the drama, and whose companionships were found in dissipated young fellows; and yet george muller felt at once a wish to go to this meeting, though he could not have told why. there was no doubt a conscious void within him never yet filled, and some instinctive inner voice whispered that he might there find food for his soul-hunger--a satisfying something after which he had all his life been unconsciously and blindly groping. he expressed the desire to go, which his friend hesitated to encourage lest such a gay and reckless devotee of vicious pleasures might feel ill at ease in such an assembly. however, he called for young muller and took him to the meeting. during his wanderings as a backslider, beta had both joined and aided george muller in his evil courses, but, on coming back from the swiss tour, his sense of sin had so revived as to constrain him to make a full confession to his father; and, through a christian friend, one dr. richter, a former student at halle, he had been made acquainted with the mr. wagner at whose dwelling the meetings were held. the two young men therefore went together, and the former backslider was used of god to "convert a sinner from the error of his way and save a soul from death and hide a multitude of sins." that saturday evening was the turning-point in george muller's history and destiny. he found himself in strange company, amid novel surroundings, and breathing a new atmosphere. his awkwardness made him feel so uncertain of his welcome that he made some apology for being there. but he never forgot brother wagner's gracious answer: "come as often as you please! house and heart are open to you." he little knew then what he afterward learned from blessed experience, what joy fills and thrills the hearts of praying saints when an evil-doer turns his feet, however timidly, toward a place of prayer! all present sat down and sang a hymn. then a brother--who afterward went to africa under the london missionary society--fell on his knees and prayed for god's blessing on the meeting. that _kneeling before god in prayer_ made upon muller an impression never lost. he was in his twenty-first year, and yet he had _never before seen any one on his knees praying,_ and of course had never himself knelt before god,--the prussian habit being to stand in public prayer. a chapter was read from the word of god, and--all meetings where the scriptures were expounded, unless by an ordained clergyman, being under the ban as irregular--a printed sermon was read. when, after another hymn, the master of the house prayed, george muller was inwardly saying: "i am much more learned than this illiterate man, but i could not pray as well as he." strange to say, a new joy was already springing up in his soul for which he could have given as little explanation as for his unaccountable desire to go to that meeting. but so it was; and on the way home he could not forbear saying to beta: "all we saw on our journey to switzerland, and all our former pleasures, are as nothing compared to this evening." whether or not, on reaching his own room, he himself knelt to pray he could not recall, but he never forgot that a new and strange peace and rest somehow found him as he lay in bed that night. was it god's wings that folded over him, after all his vain flight away from the true nest where the divine eagle flutters over his young? how sovereign are god's ways of working! in such a sinner as muller, theologians would have demanded a great 'law work' as the necessary doorway to a new life. yet there was at this time as little deep conviction of guilt and condemnation as there was deep knowledge of god and of divine things, and perhaps it was because there was so little of the latter that there was so little of the former. our rigid theories of conversion all fail in view of such facts. we have heard of a little child who so simply trusted christ for salvation that she could give no account of any 'law work.' and as one of the old examiners, who thought there could be no genuine conversion without a period of deep conviction, asked her, "but, my dear, how about the slough of despond?" she dropped a courtesy and said, "_please, sir, i didn't come that way!_" george muller's eyes were but half opened, as though he saw men as trees walking; but christ had touched those eyes, he knew little of the great healer, but somehow he had touched the hem of his garment of grace, and virtue came out of him who wears that seamless robe, and who responds even to the faintest contact of the soul that is groping after salvation. and so we meet here another proof of the infinite variety of god's working which, like the fact of that working, is so wonderful. that saturday evening in november, , was to this young student of halle _the parting of the ways._ he had tasted that the lord is gracious, though he himself could not account for the new relish for divine things which made it seem too long to wait a week for another meal; so that thrice before the saturday following he sought the house of brother wagner, there, with the help of brethren, to search the scriptures. we should lose one of the main lessons of this life-story by passing too hastily over such an event as this conversion and the exact manner of it, for here is to be found the first great step in god's preparation of the workman for his work. nothing is more wonderful in history than the unmistakable signs and proofs of _preadaptation._ our life-occurrences are not _disjecta membra_--scattered, disconnected, and accidental fragments. in god's book all these events were written beforehand, when as yet there was nothing in existence but the plan in god's mind--to be fashioned in continuance in actual history--as is perhaps suggested in psalm cxxxix. (margin). we see stones and timbers brought to a building site--the stones from different quarries and the timbers from various shops--and different workmen have been busy upon them at times and places which forbade all conscious contact or cooperation. the conditions oppose all preconcerted action, and yet, without chipping or cutting, stone fits stone, and timber fits timber--tenons and mortises, and proportions and dimensions, all corresponding so that when the building is complete it is as perfectly proportioned and as accurately fitted as though it had been all prepared in one workshop and put together in advance as a test. in such circumstances no sane man would doubt that _one presiding mind_--one architect and master builder--had planned that structure, however many were the quarries and workshops and labourers. and so it is with this life-story we are writing. the materials to be built into one structure of service were from a thousand sources and moulded into form by many hands, but there was a mutual fitness and a common adaptation to the end in view which prove that he whose mind and plan span the ages had a supreme purpose to which all human agents were unconsciously tributary. the awe of this vision of god's workmanship will grow upon us as we look beneath and behind the mere human occurrences to see the divine hand shaping and building together all these seemingly disconnected events and experiences into one life-work. for example, what have we found to be the initial step and stage in george muller's spiritual history? in a little gathering of believers, where for the first time he saw a child of god pray on his knees, he found his first approach to a pardoning god. let us observe: this man was henceforth to be singularly and peculiarly identified with simple scriptural assemblies of believers after the most primitive and apostolic pattern--meetings for prayer and praise, reading and expounding of the word, such as doubtless were held at the house of mary the mother of john mark--assemblies mainly and primarily for believers, held wherever a place could be found, with no stress laid on consecrated buildings and with absolutely no secular or aesthetic attractions. such assemblies were to be so linked with the whole life, work, and witness of george muller as to be inseparable from his name, and it was in such an assembly that the night before he died he gave out his last hymn and offered his last prayer. not only so, but _prayer, on the knees, both in secret and in such companionship of believers,_ was henceforth to be the one great central secret of his holy living and holy serving. upon this corner-stone of prayer all his life-work was to be built. of sir henry lawrence the native soldiers during the lucknow mutiny were wont to say that, "when he looked twice up to heaven, once down to earth, and then stroked his beard, he knew what to do." and of george muller it may well be said that he was to be, for more than seventy years, the man who conspicuously looked up to heaven to learn what he was to do. prayer for direct divine guidance in every crisis, great or small, was to be the secret of his whole career. is there any accident in the exact way in which he was first led to god, and in the precise character of the scenes which were thus stamped with such lasting interest and importance? the thought of a divine plan which is thus emphasized at this point we are to see singularly illustrated as we mark how stone after stone and timber after timber are brought to the building site, and all so mutually fitted that no sound of any human tool is to be heard while the life-work is in building. of course a man that had been so profligate and prodigal must at least begin at conversion to live a changed life. not that all at once the old sins were abandoned, for such total transformation demands deeper knowledge of the word and will of god than george muller yet had. but within him a new separating and sanctifying power was at work. there was a distaste for wicked joys and former companions; the frequenting of taverns entirely ceased, and a lying tongue felt new and strange bands about it. a watch was set at the door of the lips, and every word that went forth was liable to a challenge, so that old habits of untamed speech were arrested and corrected. at this time he was translating into german for the press a french novel, hoping to use the proceeds of his work for a visit to paris, etc. at first the plan for the pleasure-trip was abandoned, then the question arose whether the work itself should not be. whether his convictions were not clear or his moral courage not sufficient, he went on with the novel. it was finished, but never published. providential hindrances prevented or delayed the sale and publication of the manuscript until clearer spiritual vision showed him that the whole matter was not of faith and was therefore sin, so that he would neither sell nor print the novel, but burned it--another significant step, for it was his _first courageous act of self-denial in surrender to the voice of the spirit_--and another stone or timber was thus ready for the coming building. he now began in different directions a good fight against evil. though as yet weak and often vanquished before temptation, he did not habitually 'continue in sin,' nor offend against god without godly sorrow. open sins became less frequent and secret sins less ensnaring. he read the word of god, prayed often, loved fellow disciples, sought church assemblies from right motives, and boldly took his stand on the side of his new master, at the cost of reproach and ridicule from his fellow students. george muller's next marked step in his new path was _the discovery of the preciousness of the word of god._ at first he had a mere hint of the deep mines of wealth which he afterward explored. but his whole life-history so circles about certain great texts that whenever they come into this narrative they should appear in capitals to mark their prominence. and, of them all, that 'little gospel' in john iii. is the first, for by it he found a full salvation: "god so loved the world that he gave his only-begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." from these words he got his first glimpse of the philosophy of the plan of salvation--why and how the lord jesus christ bore our sins in his own body on the tree as our vicarious substitute and suffering surety, and how his sufferings in gethsemane and golgotha made it forever needless that the penitent believing sinner should bear his own iniquity and die for it. truly to grasp this fact is the beginning of a true and saving faith--what the spirit calls "laying hold." he who believes and knows that god so loved him first, finds himself loving god in return, and faith works by love to purify the heart, transform the life, and overcome the world. it was so with george muller. he found in the word of god _one great fact:_ the love of god in christ. upon that fact faith, not feeling, laid hold; and then the feeling came naturally without being waited for or sought after. the love of god in christ constrained him to a love--infinitely unworthy, indeed, of that to which it responded, yet supplying a new impulse unknown before. what all his father's injunctions, chastisements, entreaties, with all the urgent dictates of his own conscience, motives of expediency, and repeated resolves of amendment, utterly failed to effect, the love of god both impelled and enabled him to do--renounce a life of sinful self-indulgence. thus early he learned that double truth, which he afterwards passionately loved to teach others, that in the blood of god's atoning lamb is the fountain of both forgiveness and cleansing. whether we seek pardon for sin or power over sin, the sole source and secret are in christ's work for us. the new year was indeed a _new year_ to this newborn soul. he now began to read _missionary_ journals, which kindled a new flame in his heart. he felt a yearning--not very intelligent as yet--to be himself a messenger to the nations, and frequent praying deepened and confirmed the impression. as his knowledge of the world-field enlarged, new facts as to the destitution and the desolation of heathen peoples became as fuel to feed this flame of the mission spirit. a carnal attachment, however, for a time almost quenched this fire of god within. he was drawn to a young woman of like age, a professed believer, whom he had met at the saturday-evening meetings; but he had reason to think that her parents would not give her up to a missionary life, and he began, half-unconsciously, to weigh in the balance his yearning for service over against his passion for a fellow creature. inclination, alas, outweighed duty. prayer lost its power and for the time was almost discontinued, with corresponding decline in joy. his heart was turned from the foreign field, and in fact from all self-denying service. six weeks passed in this state of spiritual declension, when god took a strange way to reclaim the backslider. a young brother, hermann ball, wealthy, cultured, with every promising prospect for this world to attract him, made a great self-sacrifice. he chose poland as a field, and work among the jews as his mission, refusing to stay at home to rest in the soft nest of self-indulgent and luxurious ease. this choice made on young muller a deep impression. he was compelled to contrast with it his own course. for the sake of a passionate love for a young woman he had given up the work to which he felt drawn of god, and had become both joyless and prayerless: another young man, with far more to draw him worldward, had, for the sake of a self-denying service among despised polish jews, resigned all the pleasures and treasures of the world. hermann ball was acting and choosing as moses did in the crisis of his history, while he, george muller, was acting and choosing more like that profane person esau, when for one morsel of meat he bartered his birthright. the result was a new renunciation--he gave up the girl he loved, and forsook a connection which had been formed without faith and prayer and had proved a source of alienation from god. here we mark another new and significant step in preparation for his life-work--a decided step forward, which became a pattern for his after-life. for the second time a _decision for god had cost him marked self-denial._ before, he had burned his novel; now, on the same altar, he gave up to the consuming fire a human passion which had over him an unhallowed influence. according to the measure of his light thus far, george muller was _fully, unreservedly given up to god,_ and therefore walking in the light. he did not have to wait long for the recompense of the reward, for the smile of god repaid him for the loss of a human love, and the peace of god was his because the god of peace was with him. every new spring of inward joy demands a channel for outflow, and so he felt impelled to bear witness. he wrote to his father and brother of his own happy experience, begging them to seek and find a like rest in god, thinking that they had but to know the path that leads to such joy to be equally eager to enter it. but an angry response was all the reply that his letter evoked. about the same time the famous dr. tholuck took the chair of professor of divinity at halle, and the advent of such a godly man to the faculty drew pious students from other schools of learning, and so enlarged george mullers circle of fellow believers, who helped him much through grace. of course the missionary spirit revived, and with such increased fervor, that he sought his father's permission to connect himself with some missionary institution in germany. his father was not only much displeased, but greatly disappointed, and dealt in reproaches very hard to bear. he reminded george of all the money he had spent on his education in the expectation that he would repay him by getting such a 'living' as would insure to the parent a comfortable home and support for his old age; and in a fit of rage he exclaimed that he would no longer look on him as a son. then, seeing that son unmoved in his quiet steadfastness, he changed tone, and from threats turned to tears of entreaty that were much harder to resist than reproaches. the result of the interview was a _third_ significant step in preparation for his son's life's mission. his resolve was unbroken to follow the lord's leading at any cost, but he now clearly saw that he could be _independent of man only by being more entirely dependent on god, and that henceforth he should take no more money from his father._ to receive such support implied obedience to his wishes, for it seemed plainly wrong to look to him for the cost of his training when he had no prospect nor intention of meeting his known expectations. if he was to live on his father's money, he was under a tacit obligation to carry out his plans and seek a good living as a clergyman at home. thus early in life george muller learned the valuable lesson that one must preserve his independence if he would not endanger his integrity. god was leading his servant in his youth to _cast himself upon him for temporal supplies._ this step was not taken without cost, for the two years yet to be spent at the university would require more outlay than during any time previous. but thus early also did he find god a faithful provider and friend in need. shortly after, certain american gentlemen, three of whom were college professors,* being in halle and wishing instruction in german, were by dr. tholuck recommended to employ george muller as tutor; and the pay was so ample for the lessons taught them and the lectures written out for them, that all wants were more than met. thus also in his early life was written large in the chambers of his memory another golden text from the word of god: "o fear the lord, ye his saints! for there is no want to them that fear him." (psalm xxxiv. .) * one of them, the rev. charles hodge, afterward so well known as professor at princeton theological seminary, etc. chapter iii making ready the chosen vessel the workman of god needs to wait on him to know the work he is to do and the sphere where he is to serve him. mature disciples at halle advised george muller for the time thus quietly to wait for divine guidance, and meanwhile to take no further steps toward the mission field. he felt unable, however, to dismiss the question, and was so impatient to settle it that he made the common blunder of attempting to come to a decision in a carnal way. _he resorted to the lot,_ and not only so, but to the lot as cast in the lap of the _lottery!_ in other words, he first drew a lot in private, and then bought a ticket in a royal lottery, expecting his steps to be guided in a matter so solemn as the choice of a field for the service of god, by the turn of the 'wheel of fortune'! should his ticket draw a prize he would _go;_ if not, _stay_ at home. having drawn a small sum, he accordingly accepted this as a 'sign,' and at once applied to the berlin missionary society, but was not accepted because his application was not accompanied with his father's consent. thus a higher hand had disposed while man proposed. god kept out of the mission field, at this juncture, one so utterly unfit for his work that he had not even learned that primary lesson that he who would work with god must first wait on him and wait for him, and that all undue haste in such a matter is worse than waste. he who kept moses waiting forty years before he sent him to lead out captive israel, who withdrew saul of tarsus three years into arabia before he sent him as an apostle to the nations, and who left even his own son thirty years in obscurity before his manifestation as messiah--this god is in no hurry to put other servants at work. he says to all impatient souls: "my time is not yet full come, but your time is always ready." only twice after this did george muller ever resort to the lot: once at a literal parting of the ways when he was led by it to take the wrong fork of the road, and afterward in a far more important matter, but with a like result: in both cases he found he had been misled, and henceforth abandoned all such chance methods of determining the mind of god. he learned two lessons, which new dealings of god more and more deeply impressed: first, that the safe guide in every crisis is believing prayer in connection with the word of god. secondly, that continued uncertainty as to one's course is a reason for continued waiting. these lessons should not be lightly passed over, for they are too valuable. the flesh is impatient of all delay, both in decision and action; hence all carnal choices are immature and premature, and all carnal courses are mistaken and unspiritual. god is often moved to delay that we may be led to pray, and even the answers to prayer are deferred that the natural and carnal spirit may be kept in check and self-will may bow before the will of god. in a calm review of his course many years later george muller saw that he "ran hastily to the lot" as a shorter way of settling a doubtful matter, and that, especially in the question of god's call to the mission field, this was shockingly improper. he saw also how unfit he had been at that time for the work he sought: he should rather have asked himself how one so ignorant and so needing to be taught could think of teaching others! though a child of god, he could not as yet have given a clear statement or explanation of the most elementary gospel truths. the one thing needful was therefore to have sought through much prayer and bible study to get first of all a deeper knowledge and a deeper experience of divine things. impatience to settle a matter so important was itself seen to be a positive disqualification for true service, revealing unfitness to endure hardship as a good soldier of jesus christ. there is a constant strain and drain on patient waiting which is a necessary feature of missionary trial and particularly the trial of deferred harvests. one who, at the outset, could not brook delay in making his first decision, and wait for god to make known his will in his own way and time, would not on the field have had long patience as a husbandman, waiting for the precious fruit of his toil, or have met with quietness of spirit the thousand perplexing problems of work among the heathen! moreover the conviction grew that, could he have followed the lot, his choice would have been a life-mistake. his mind, at that time, was bent upon the east indies as a field. yet all subsequent events clearly showed that god's choice for him was totally different. his repeated offers met as repeated refusals, and though on subsequent occasions he acted most deliberately and solemnly, no open door was found, but he was in every case kept from following out his honest purpose. nor could the lot be justified as an indication of his _ultimate_ call to the mission field, for the purpose of it was definite, namely, to ascertain, not whether _at some period of his life_ he was to go forth, but whether _at that time_ he was to go or stay. the whole after-life of george muller proved that god had for him an entirely different plan, which he was not ready yet to reveal, and which his servant was not yet prepared to see or follow. if any man's life ever was a plan of god, surely this life was; and the lord's distinct, emphatic leading, when made known, was not in this direction. he had purposed for george muller a larger field than the indies, and a wider witness than even the gospel message to heathen peoples. he was 'not suffered' to go into 'bithynia' because 'macedonia' was waiting for his ministry. with increasing frequency, earnestness, and minuteness, was george muller led to put before god, in prayer, all matters that lay upon his mind. this man was to be peculiarly an example to believers as an _intercessor;_ and so god gave him from the outset a very _simple, childlike disposition_ toward himself. in many things he was in knowledge and in strength to outgrow childhood and become a man, for it marks immaturity when we err through ignorance and are overcome through weakness. but in faith and in the filial spirit, he always continued to be a little child. mr. j. hudson taylor well reminds us that while in nature the normal order of growth is from childhood to manhood and so to maturity, in _grace_ the true development is perpetually backward toward the cradle: we must become and continue as little children, not losing, but rather gaining, childlikeness of spirit. the disciple's maturest manhood is only the perfection of his childhood. george muller was never so really, truly, fully a little child in all his relations to his father, as when in the ninety-third year of his age. being thus providentially kept from the indies, he began definite work at home, though yet having little real knowledge of the divine art of coworking with god. he spoke to others of their soul's welfare, and wrote to former companions in sin, and circulated tracts and missionary papers. nor were his labours without encouragement, though sometimes his methods were awkward or even grotesque, as when, speaking to a beggar in the fields about his need of salvation, he tried to overcome apathetic indifference by speaking louder and louder, as though, mere bawling in his ears would subdue the hardness of his heart! in he first attempted to _preach._ an unconverted schoolmaster some six miles from halle he was the means of turning to the lord; and this schoolmaster asked him to come and help an aged, infirm clergyman in the parish. being a student of divinity he was at liberty to preach, but conscious ignorance had hitherto restrained him. he thought, however, that by committing some other man's sermon to memory he might profit the hearers, and so he undertook it. it was slavish work to prepare, for it took most of a week to memorize the sermon, and it was joyless work to deliver it, for there was none of the living power that attends a man's god-given message and witness. his conscience was not yet enlightened enough to see that he was acting a false part in preaching another's sermon as his own; nor had he the spiritual insight to perceive that it is not god's way to set up a man to preach who knows not enough of either his word or the life of the spirit within him, to prepare his own discourse. how few even among preachers feel preaching to be _a divine vocation and not a mere human profession;_ that a ministry of the truth implies the witness of experience, and that to preach another man's sermon is, at the best, unnatural walking on stilts! george muller 'got through' his painful effort of august , , reciting this memoriter sermon at eight a.m. in the chapel of ease, and three hours later in the parish church. being asked to preach again in the afternoon, but having no second sermon committed to memory, he had to keep silent, or _depend on the lord for help._ he thought he could at least read the fifth chapter of matthew, and simply expound it. but he had no sooner begun the first beatitude than he felt himself greatly assisted. not only were his lips opened, but the scriptures were opened too, his own soul expanded, and a peace and power, wholly unknown to his tame, mechanical repetitions of the morning, accompanied the simpler expositions of the afternoon, with this added advantage, that he talked on a level with the people and not over their heads, his colloquial, earnest speech riveting their attention. going back to halle, he said to himself, 'this is the _true way to preach,_' albeit he felt misgivings lest such a simple style of exposition might not suit so well a cultured refined city congregation. he had yet to learn how the enticing words of man's wisdom make the cross of christ of none effect, and how the very simplicity that makes preaching intelligible to the illiterate makes sure that the most cultivated will also understand it, whereas the reverse is not true. here was another very important _step in his preparation_ for subsequent service. he was to rank throughout life among the simplest and most scriptural of preachers. this first trial of pulpit-work led to frequent sermons, and in proportion as his speech was in the simplicity that is in christ did he find joy in his work and a harvest from it. the committed sermon of some great preacher might draw forth human praise, but it was the simple witness of the word, and of the believer to the word, that had praise of god. his preaching was not then much owned of god in fruit. doubtless the lord saw that he was not ready for reaping, and scarcely for sowing: there was yet too little prayer in preparation and too little unction in delivery, and so his labours were comparatively barren of results. about this same time he took another step--perhaps the most significant thus far in its bearing on the precise form of work so closely linked with his name. for some two months he availed himself of the free lodgings furnished for poor divinity students in the famous _orphan houses built by a. h. francke._ this saintly man, a professor of divinity at halle, who had died a hundred years before ( ), had been led to found an orphanage in entire dependence upon god. half unconsciously george muller's whole life-work at bristol found both its suggestion and pattern in francke's orphanage at halle. the very building where this young student lodged was to him an object lesson--a visible, veritable, tangible proof that the living god hears prayer, and can, in answer to prayer alone, build a house for orphan children. that lesson was never lost, and george muller fell into the apostolic succession of such holy labour! he often records how much his own faith-work was indebted to that example of simple trust in prayer exhibited by francke. seven years later he read his life, and was thereby still more prompted to follow him as he followed christ. george muller's spiritual life in these early days was strangely chequered. for instance, he who, as a lutheran divinity student, was essaying to preach, hung up in his room a framed crucifix, hoping thereby to keep in mind the sufferings of christ and so less frequently fall into sin. such helps, however, availed him little, for while he rested upon such artificial props, it seemed as though he sinned the oftener. he was at this time overworking, writing sometimes fourteen hours a day, and this induced nervous depression, which exposed him to various temptations. he ventured into a confectioner's shop where wine and beer were sold, and then suffered reproaches of conscience for conduct so unbecoming a believer; and he found himself indulging ungracious and ungrateful thoughts of god, who, instead of visiting him with deserved chastisement, multiplied his tender mercies. he wrote to a rich, liberal and titled lady, asking a loan, and received the exact sum asked for, with a letter, not from her, but from another into whose hands his letter had fallen by "a peculiar providence," and who signed it as "an adoring worshipper of the saviour jesus christ." while led to send the money asked for, the writer added wise words of caution and counsel--words so fitted to george muller's exact need that he saw plainly the higher hand that had guided the anonymous writer. in that letter he was urged to "seek by watching and prayer to be delivered from all vanity and self-complacency," to make it his "chief aim to be more and more humble, faithful, and quiet," and not to be of those who "say 'lord, lord,' but have him not deeply in their hearts." he was also reminded that "christianity consists not in words but in power, and that there must be life in us." he was deeply moved by this message from god through an unknown party, and the more as it had come, with its enclosure, at the time when he was not only guilty of conduct unbecoming a disciple, but indulging hard thoughts of his heavenly father. he went out to walk alone, and was so deeply wrought on by god's goodness and his own ingratitude that he knelt behind a hedge, and, though in snow a foot deep, he forgot himself for a half-hour in praise, prayer, and self-surrender. yet so deceitful is the human heart that a few weeks later he was in such a backslidden state that, for a time, he was again both careless and prayerless, and one day sought to drown the voice of conscience in the wine-cup. the merciful father gave not up his child to folly and sin. he who once could have gone to great lengths in dissipation now found a few glasses of wine more than enough; his relish for such pleasures was gone, and so was the power to silence the still small voice of conscience and of the spirit of god. such vacillations in christian experience were due in part to the lack of holy associations and devout companionships. every disciple needs help in holy living, and this young believer yearned for that spiritual uplift afforded by sympathetic fellow believers. in vacation times he had found at gnadau, the moravian settlement some three miles from his father's residence, such soul refreshment, but halle itself supplied little help. he went often to church, but seldom heard the gospel, and in that town of over , , with all its ministers, he found not one enlightened clergyman. when, therefore, he could hear such a preacher as dr. tholuck, he would walk ten or fifteen miles to enjoy such a privilege. the meetings continued at mr. wagner's house; and on the lord's day evenings some six or more believing students were wont to gather, and both these assemblies were means of grace. from easter, , so long as he remained in halle, this latter meeting was held in his own room, and must rank alongside those little gatherings of the "holy club" in lincoln college, oxford, which a hundred years before had shaped the wesleys and whitefield for their great careers. before george muller left halle the attendance at this weekly meeting in his room had grown to twenty. these assemblies were throughout very simple and primitive. in addition to prayer, singing, and reading of god's word, one or more brethren exhorted or read extracts from devout books. here young muller freely opened his heart to others, and through their counsels and prayers was delivered from many snares. one lesson, yet to be learned, was that the one fountain of all wisdom and strength is the holy scriptures. many disciples practically prefer religious books to the book of god. he had indeed found much of the reading with which too many professed believers occupy their minds to be but worthless chaff--such as french and german novels; but as yet he had not formed the habit of reading the word of god daily and systematically as in later life, almost to the exclusion of other books. in his ninety-second year, he said to the writer, that for every page of any other reading he was sure he read ten of the bible. but, up to that november day in when he first met a praying band of disciples, he had never to his recollection read one chapter in the book of books; and for the first four years of his new life he gave to the works of uninspired men practical preference over the living oracles. after a true relish for the scriptures had been created, he could not understand how he could ever have treated god's book with such neglect. it seemed obvious that _god's having condescended to become an author,_ inspiring holy men to write the scriptures, he would in them impart the most vital truths; his message would cover all matters which concern man's welfare, and therefore, under the double impulse of duty and delight, we should instinctively and habitually turn to the bible. moreover, as he read and studied this book of god, he felt himself admitted to more and more _intimate acquaintance with the author._ during the last twenty years of his life he read it carefully through, four or five times annually, with a growing sense of his own rapid increase in the knowledge of god thereby. such motives for bible study it is strange that any true believer should overlook. ruskin, in writing "of the king's treasuries," refers to the universal ambition for 'advancement in life,' which means 'getting into good society.' how many obstacles one finds in securing an introduction to the great and good of this world, and even then in getting access to them, in securing an audience with the kings and queens of human society! yet there is open to us a society of people of the very first rank who will meet us and converse with us so long as we like, whatever our ignorance, poverty, or low estate--namely, the society of authors; and the key that unlocks their private audience-chamber is their books. so writes ruskin, and all this is beautifully true; but how few, even among believers, appreciate the privilege of access to the great author of the universe through his word! poor and rich, high and low, ignorant and learned, young and old, all alike are welcomed to the audience-chamber of the king of kings. the most intimate knowledge of god is possible on one condition--that we search his holy scriptures, prayerfully and habitually, and translate what we there find, into obedience. of him who thus meditates on god's law day and night, who looks and continues looking into this perfect law of liberty, the promise is unique, and found in both testaments: "whatsoever he doeth shall prosper"; "that man shall be blessed in his deed." (comp. psalm i. ; joshua i. ; james i. .) so soon as george muller found this well-spring of delight and success, he drank habitually at this fountain of living waters. in later life he lamented that, owing to his early neglect of this source of divine wisdom and strength, he remained so long in spiritual infancy, with its ignorance and impotence. so long and so far as his growth in knowledge of god was thus arrested his growth in grace was likewise hindered. his close walk with god began at the point where he learned that such walk is always in the light of that inspired word which is divinely declared to be to the obedient soul "a lamp unto the feet and a light unto the path." he who would keep up intimate converse with the lord must habitually find in the scriptures the highway of such companionship. god's aristocracy, his nobility, the princes of his realm, are not the wise, mighty, and high-born of earth, but often the poor, weak, despised of men, who abide in his presence and devoutly commune with him through his inspired word. blessed are they who have thus learned to use the key which gives free access, not only to the king's treasuries, but to the king himself! chapter iv new steps and stages of preparation passion for souls is a divine fire, and in the heart of george muller that fire now began to burn more brightly, and demanded vent. in august, , his mind was more definitely than before turned toward mission work. hearing that the continental society of britain sought a minister for bucharest, he offered himself through dr. tholuck, who, in behalf of the society, was on the lookout for a suitable candidate. to his great surprise his father gave consent, though bucharest was more than a thousand miles distant and as truly missionary ground as any other field. after a short visit home he came back to halle, his face steadfastly set toward his far-off field, and his heart seeking prayerful preparation for expected self-sacrifice and hardship. but god had other plans for his servant, and he never went to bucharest. in october following, hermann ball, passing through halle, and being at the little weekly meeting in muller's room, told him how failing health forbade his continuing his work among polish jews; and at once there sprang up in george muller's mind a strong desire to take his place. such work doubly attracted him, because it would bring him into close contact with god's chosen but erring people, israel; and because it would afford opportunity to utilize those hebrew studies which so engrossed him. at this very time, calling upon dr. tholuck, he was asked, to his surprise, whether he had ever felt a desire to _labour among the jews_--dr. tholuck then acting as agent for the london missionary society for promoting missions among them. this question naturally fanned the flame of his already kindled desire; but, shortly after, bucharest being the seat of the war then raging between the russians and turks, the project of sending a minister there was for the time abandoned. but a door seemed to open before him just as another shut behind him. the committee in london, learning that he was available as a missionary to the jews, proposed his coming to that city for six months as a missionary student to prepare for the work. to enter thus on a sort of probation was trying to the flesh, but, as it seemed right that there should be opportunity for mutual acquaintance between committee and candidate, to insure harmonious cooperation, his mind was disposed to accede to the proposal. there was, however, a formidable obstacle. prussian male subjects must commonly serve three years in the army, and classical students who have passed the university examinations, at least one year. george muller, who had not served out even this shorter term, could not, without royal exemption, even get a passport out of the country. application was made for such exemption, but it failed. meanwhile he was taken ill, and after ten weeks suffered a relapse. while at leipzig with an american professor with whom he went to the opera, he unwisely partook of some refreshments between the acts, which again brought on illness. he had broken a blood-vessel in the stomach, and he returned to halle, never again to enter a theatre. subsequently being asked to go to berlin for a few weeks to teach german, he went, hoping at the prussian capital to find access to the court through persons of rank and secure the desired exemption. but here again he failed. there now seemed no way of escaping a soldier's term, and he submitted himself for examination, but was pronounced physically unfit for military duty. in god's providence he fell into kind hands, and, being a second time examined and found unfit, he was thenceforth _completely exempted for life from all service in the army._ god's lines of purpose mysteriously converged. the time had come; the master spake and it was done: all things moved in one direction--to set his servant free from the service of his country, that, under the captain of his salvation, he might endure hardness as a good soldier of christ, without entanglement in the affairs of this life. aside from this, his stay at the capital had not been unprofitable, for he had preached five times a week in the poorhouse and conversed on the lord's days with the convicts in the prison. in february, , he left for london, on the way visiting his father at heimersleben, where he had returned after retirement from office; and he reached the english metropolis march th. his liberty was much curtailed as a student in this new seminary, but, as no rule conflicted with his conscience, he submitted. he studied about twelve hours daily, giving attention mainly to hebrew and cognate branches closely connected with his expected field. sensible of the risk of that deadness of soul which often results from undue absorption in mental studies, he committed to memory much of the hebrew old testament and pursued his tasks in a prayerful spirit, seeking god's help in matters, however minute, connected with daily duty. tempted to the continual use of his native tongue by living with his german countrymen, he made little progress in english, which he afterward regretted; and he was wont, therefore, to counsel those who propose to work among a foreign people, not only to live among them in order to learn their language, but to keep aloof as far as may be from their own countrymen, so as to be compelled to use the tongue which is to give them access to those among whom they labour. in connection with this removal to britain a seemingly trivial occurrence left upon him a lasting impress--another proof that there are no little things in life. upon a very small hinge a huge door may swing and turn. it is, in fact, often the apparently trifling events that mould our history, work, and destiny. a student incidentally mentioned a dentist in exeter--a mr. groves--who for the lord's sake had resigned his calling with fifteen hundred pounds a year, and with wife and children offered himself as a missionary to persia, _simply trusting the lord for all temporal supplies._ this act of self-denying trust had a strange charm for mr. muller, and he could not dismiss it from his mind; indeed, he distinctly entered it in his journal and wrote about it to friends at home. it was _another lesson in faith,_ and in the very line of that trust of which for more than sixty years he was to be so conspicuous an example and illustration. in the middle of may, , he was taken ill and felt himself to be past recovery. sickness is often attended with strange _self-disclosure._ his conviction of sin and guilt at his conversion was too superficial and shallow to leave any after-remembrance. but, as is often true in the history of god's saints, the sense of guilt, which at first seemed to have no roots in conscience and scarce an existence, struck deeper into his being and grew stronger as he knew more of god and grew more like him. this common experience of saved souls is susceptible of easy explanation. our conceptions of things depend mainly upon two conditions: first, the clearness of our vision of truth and duty; and secondly, the standard of measurement and comparison. the more we live in god and unto god, the more do our eyes become enlightened to see the enormity and deformity of sin, so that we recognize the hatefulness of evil more distinctly: and the more clearly do we recognize the perfection of god's holiness and make it the pattern and model of our own holy living. the amateur musician or artist has a false complacency in his own very imperfect work only so far as his ear or eye or taste is not yet trained to accurate discrimination; but, as he becomes more accomplished in a fine art, and more appreciative of it, he recognizes every defect or blemish of his previous work, until the musical performance seems a wretched failure and the painting a mere daub. the change, however, is wholly in the _workman_ and not in the _work:_ both the music and the painting are in themselves just what they were, but the man is capable of something so much better, that his standard of comparison is raised to a higher level, and his capacity for a true judgment is correspondingly enlarged. even so a child of god who, like elijah, stands before him as a waiting, willing, obedient servant, and has both likeness to god and power with god, may get under the juniper-tree of despondency, cast down with the sense of unworthiness and ill desert. as godliness increases the sense of ungodliness becomes more acute, and so feelings never accurately gauge real assimilation to god. we shall seem worst in our own eyes when in his we are best, and conversely. a mohammedan servant ventured publicly to challenge a preacher who, in an indian bazaar, was asserting the universal depravity of the race, by affirming that he knew at least one woman who was immaculate, absolutely without fault, and that woman, his own christian mistress. the preacher bethought himself to ask in reply whether he had any means of knowing whether that was her opinion of herself, which caused the mohammedan to confess that there lay the mystery: she had been often overheard in prayer confessing herself the most unworthy of sinners. to return from this digression, mr. muller, not only during this illness, but down to life's sudden close, had a growing sense of sin and guilt which would at times have been overwhelming, had he not known upon the testimony of the word that "whoso covereth his sins shall not prosper, but he that confesseth and forsaketh them shall find mercy." from his own guilt he turned his eyes to the cross where it was atoned for, and to the mercy-seat where forgiveness meets the penitent sinner; and so sorrow for sin was turned into the joy of the justified. this confidence of acceptance in the beloved so stripped death of its terrors that during this illness he longed rather to depart and to be with christ; but after a fortnight he was pronounced better, and, though still longing for the heavenly rest, he submitted to the will of god for a longer sojourn in the land of his pilgrimage, little foreseeing what joy he was to find in living for god, or how much he was to know of the days of heaven upon earth. during this illness, also, he showed the growing tendency to bring before the lord in prayer even the minutest matters which his later life so signally exhibited. he constantly besought god to guide his physician, and every new dose of medicine was accompanied by a new petition that god would use it for his good and enable him with patience to await his will. as he advanced toward recovery he sought rest at teignmouth, where, shortly after his arrival, "ebenezer" chapel was reopened. it was here also that mr. muller became acquainted with mr. henry craik, who was for so many years not only his friend, but fellow labourer. it was also about this time that, as he records, certain great truths began to be made clear to him and to stand out in much prominence. this period of personal preparation is so important in its bearing on his whole after-career that the reader should have access to his own witness.* * see appendix b. on returning to london, prospered in soul-health as also in bodily vigor, he proposed to fellow students a daily morning meeting, from to , for prayer and bible study, when each should give to the others such views of any passage read as the lord might give him. these spiritual exercises proved so helpful and so nourished the appetite for divine things that, after continuing in prayer late into the evening hours, he sometimes at midnight sought the fellowship of some like-minded brother, and thus prolonged the prayer season until one or two o'clock in the morning; and even then sleep was often further postponed by his overflowing joy in god. thus, under his great teacher, did this pupil, early in his spiritual history, learn that supreme lesson that to every child of god the word of god is the bread of life, and the prayer of faith the breath of life. mr. muller had been back in london scarcely ten days before health again declined, and the conviction took strong hold upon him that he should not spend his little strength in confining study, but at once get about his work; and this conviction was confirmed by the remembrance of the added light which god had given him and the deeper passion he now felt to serve him more freely and fully. under the pressure of this persuasion that both his physical and spiritual welfare would be promoted by actual labours for souls, he sought of the society a prompt appointment to his field of service; and that they might with the more confidence commission him, he asked that some experienced man might be sent out with him as a fellow counsellor and labourer. after waiting in vain for six weeks for an answer to this application, he felt another strong conviction: that _to wait on his fellow men to be sent out to his field and work was unscriptural and therefore wrong._ barnabas and saul were called by name and sent forth by the holy spirit, before the church at antioch had taken any action; and he felt himself so called of the spirit to his work that he was prompted to begin at once, without waiting for human authority,--and why not among the jews in london? accustomed to act promptly upon conviction, he undertook to distribute among them tracts bearing his name and address, so that any who wished personal guidance could find him. he sought them at their gathering-places, read the scriptures at stated times with some fifty jewish lads, and taught in a sunday-school. thus, instead of lying like a vessel in dry-dock for repairs, he was launched into christian work, though, like other labourers among the despised jews, he found himself exposed to petty trials and persecutions, called to suffer reproach for the name of christ. before the autumn of had passed, a further misgiving laid hold of him as to whether he could in good conscience remain longer connected in the usual way with this london society, and on december th he concluded to dissolve all such ties except upon certain conditions. to do full justice both to mr. muller and the society, his own words will again be found in the appendix.* * see appendix c. early in the following year it was made clear that he could labour in connection with such a society only as they would consent to his _serving without salary and labouring when and where the lord might seem to direct._ he so wrote, eliciting a firm but kind response to the effect that they felt it "inexpedient to employ those who were unwilling to submit to their guidance with respect to missionary operations," etc. thus this link with the society was broken. he felt that he was acting up to the light god gave, and, while imputing to the society no blame, he never afterward repented this step nor reversed this judgment. to those who review this long life, so full of the fruits of unusual service to god and man, it will be quite apparent that the lord was gently but persistently thrusting george muller out of the common path into one where he was to walk very closely with himself; and the decisions which, even in lesser matters furthered god's purpose were wiser and weightier than could at the time be seen. one is constantly reminded in reading mr. muller's journal that he was a man of like frailties as others. on christmas morning of this year, after a season of peculiar joy, he awoke to find himself in the slough of despond, without any sense of enjoyment, prayer seeming as fruitless as the vain struggles of a man in the mire. at the usual morning meeting he was urged by a brother to continue in prayer, notwithstanding, until he was again melted before the lord--a wise counsel for all disciples when the lord's presence seems strangely withdrawn. steadfast continuance in prayer must never be hindered by the want of sensible enjoyment; in fact, it is a safe maxim that the less joy, the more need. cessation of communion with god, for whatever cause, only makes the more difficult its resumption and the recovery of the prayer habit and prayer spirit; whereas the persistent outpouring of supplication, together with continued activity in the service of god, soon brings back the lost joy. whenever, therefore, one yields to spiritual depression so as to abandon, or even to suspend, closet communion or christian work, the devil triumphs. so rapid was mr. muller's recovery out of this satanic snare, through continuance in prayer, that, on the evening of that same christmas day whose dawn had been so overcast, he expounded the word at family worship in the house where he dined by invitation, and with such help from god that two servants who were present were deeply convicted of sin and sought his counsel. here we reach another mile-stone in this life-journey. george muller had now come to the end of the year , and he had been led of the lord in a truly remarkable path. it was but about four years since he first found the narrow way and began to walk in it, and he was as yet a young man, in his twenty-fifth year. yet already he had been taught some of the grand secrets of a holy, happy, and useful life, which became the basis of the whole structure of his after-service. indeed, as we look back over these four years, they seem crowded with significant and eventful experiences, all of which forecast his future work, though he as yet saw not in them the lord's sign. his conversion in a primitive assembly of believers where worship and the word of god were the only attractions, was the starting-point in a career every step of which seems a stride forward. think of a young convert, with such an ensnaring past to reproach and retard him, within these few years learning such advanced lessons in _renunciation:_ burning his manuscript novel, giving up the girl he loved, turning his back on the seductive prospect of ease and wealth, to accept self-denial for god, cutting loose from dependence on his father and then refusing all stated salary lest his liberty of witness be curtailed, and choosing a simple expository mode of preaching, instead of catering to popular taste! then mark how he fed on the word of god; how he cultivated the habits of searching the scriptures and praying in secret; how he threw himself on god, not only for temporal supplies, but for support in bearing all burdens, however great or small; and how thus early he offered himself for the mission field and was impatiently eager to enter it. then look at the sovereign love of god, imparting to him in so eminent a degree the childlike spirit, teaching him to trust not his own variable moods of feeling, but the changeless word of his promise; teaching him to wait patiently on him for orders, and not to look to human authority or direction; and so singularly releasing him from military service for life, and mysteriously withholding him from the far-off mission field, that he might train him for his unique mission to the race and the ages to come! these are a few of the salient points of this narrative, thus far, which must, to any candid mind, demonstrate that a higher hand was moulding this chosen vessel on his potter's wheel, and shaping it unmistakably for the singular service to which it was destined! chapter v the pulpit and the pastorate no work for god surpasses in dignity and responsibility the christian ministry. it is at once the consummate flower of the divine planting, the priceless dower of his church, and through it works the power of god for salvation. though george muller had begun his 'candidacy for holy orders' as an unconverted man, seeking simply a human calling with a hope of a lucrative living, he had heard god's summons to a divine vocation, and he was from time to time preaching the gospel, but not in any settled field. while at teignmouth, early in , preaching by invitation, he was asked to take the place of the minister who was about to leave, but he replied that he felt at that time called of god, not to a stationary charge, but rather to a sort of itinerant evangelism. during this time he preached at shaldon for henry craik, thus coming into closer contact with this brother, to whom his heart became knit in bonds of love and sympathy which grew stronger as the acquaintance became more intimate. certain hearers at teignmouth, and among them some preachers, disliked his sermons, albeit they were owned of god; and this caused him to reflect upon the probable causes of this opposition, and whether it was any indication of his duty. he felt that they doubtless looked for outward graces of oratory in a preacher, and hence were not attracted to a foreigner whose speech had no rhetorical charms and who could not even use english with fluency. but he felt sure of a deeper cause for their dislike, especially as he was compelled to notice that, the summer previous, when he himself was less spiritually minded and had less insight into the truth, the same parties who now opposed him were pleased with him. his final conclusion was that the lord meant to work through him at teignmouth, but that satan was acting, as usual, the part of a hinderer, and stirring up brethren themselves to oppose the truth. and as, notwithstanding the opposers, the wish that he should minister at the chapel was expressed so often and by so many, he determined to remain for a time until he was openly rejected as god's witness, or had some clear divine leading to another field of labour. he announced this purpose, at the same time plainly stating that, should they withhold salary, it would not affect his decision, inasmuch as he did not preach as a hireling of man, but as the servant of god, and would willingly commit to him the provision for his temporal needs. at the same time, however, he reminded them that it was alike their duty and privilege to minister in carnal things to those who served them in things spiritual, and that while he did not desire a gift, he did desire fruit that might abound to their account. these experiences at teignmouth were typical: "some believed the things which were spoken, and some believed not;" some left the chapel, while others stayed; and some were led and fed, while others maintained a cold indifference, if they did not exhibit an open hostility. but the lord stood by him and strengthened him, setting his seal upon his testimony; and jehovah jireh also moved two brethren, unasked, to supply all the daily wants of his servant. after a while the little church of eighteen members unanimously called the young preacher to the pastorate, and he consented to abide with them for a season, without abandoning his original intention of going from place to place as the lord might lead. a stipend, of fifty-five pounds annually, was offered him, which somewhat increased as the church membership grew; and so the university student of halle was settled in his first pulpit and pastorate. while at sidmouth, preaching, in april, , three believing sisters held in his presence a conversation about '_believers' baptism,_' which proved the suggestion of another important step in his life, which has a wider bearing than at first is apparent. they naturally asked his opinion on the subject about which they were talking, and he replied that, having been baptized as a child, he saw no need of being baptized again. being further asked if he had ever yet prayerfully searched the word of god as to its testimony in this matter, he frankly confessed that he had not. at once, with unmistakable plainness of speech and with rare fidelity, one of these sisters in christ promptly said: _"i entreat you, then, never again to speak any more about it till you have done so."_ such a reply george muller was not the man either to resent or to resist. he was too honest and conscientious to dismiss without due reflection any challenge to search the oracles of god for their witness upon any given question. moreover, if, at that very time, his preaching was emphatic in any direction, it was in the boldness with which he insisted that _all pulpit teaching and christian practice must be subjected to one great test,_ namely, _the touchstone of the word of god._ already an elijah in spirit, his great aim was to repair the broken-down altar of the lord, to expose and rebuke all that hindered a thoroughly scriptural worship and service, and, if possible, to restore apostolic simplicity of doctrine and life. as he thought and prayed about this matter, he was forced to admit to himself that he had never yet earnestly examined the scriptures for their teaching as to the position and relation of baptism in the believer's life, nor had he even prayed for light upon it. he had nevertheless repeatedly spoken against believers' baptism, and so he saw it to be possible that he might himself have been opposing the teaching of the word. he therefore determined to study the subject until he should reach a final, satisfactory, and scriptural conclusion; and thenceforth, whether led to defend infant baptism or believers' baptism, to do it only on scriptural grounds. the mode of study which he followed was characteristically simple, thorough, and business-like, and was always pursued afterward. he first sought from god the spirit's teaching that his eyes might be opened to the word's witness, and his mind illumined; then he set about a systematic examination of the new testament from beginning to end. so far as possible he sought absolutely to rid himself of all bias of previous opinion or practice, prepossession or prejudice; he prayed and endeavoured to be free from the influence of human tradition, popular custom, and churchly sanction, or that more subtle hindrance, _personal pride in his own consistency._ he was humble enough to be willing to retract any erroneous teaching and renounce any false position, and to espouse that wise maxim: "don't be _consistent,_ but simply be _true!"_ whatever may have been the case with others who claim to have examined the same question for themselves, the result in his case was that he came to the conclusion, and, as he believed, from the word of god and the spirit of god, that none but believers are the proper subjects of baptism, and that only immersion is its proper mode. two passages of scripture were very marked in the prominence which they had in compelling him to these conclusions, namely: acts viii. - , and romans vi. - . the case of the ethiopian eunuch strongly convinced him that baptism is proper, only as the act of a believer confessing christ; and the passage in the epistle to the romans equally satisfied him that only immersion in water can express the typical burial with christ and resurrection with him, there and elsewhere made so prominent. he intended no assault upon brethren who hold other views, when he thus plainly stated in his journal the honest and unavoidable convictions to which he came; but he was too loyal both to the word of god and to his own conscience to withhold his views when so carefully and prayerfully arrived at through the searching of the scriptures. conviction compelled action, for in him there was no spirit of compromise; and he was accordingly promptly baptized. years after, in reviewing his course, he records the solemn conviction that "of all revealed truths, not one is more clearly revealed in the scriptures--not even the doctrine of justification by faith--and that the subject has only become obscured by men not having been willing to take _the scriptures alone_ to decide the point." he also bears witness incidentally that not one true friend in the lord had ever turned his back upon him in consequence of his baptism, as he supposed some would have done; and that almost all such friends had, since then, been themselves baptized. it is true that in one way he suffered some pecuniary loss through this step taken in obedience to conviction, but the lord did not suffer him to be ultimately the loser even in this respect, for he bountifully made up to him any such sacrifice, even in things that pertain to this life. he concludes this review of his course by adding that through his example many others were led both to examine the question of baptism anew and to submit themselves to the ordinance. such experiences as these suggest the honest question whether there is not imperative need of subjecting all current religious customs and practices to the one test of conformity to the scripture pattern. our lord sharply rebuked the pharisees of his day for making "the commandment of god of none effect by their tradition," and, after giving one instance, he added, "and many other such like things do ye."* it is very easy for doctrines and practices to gain acceptance, which are the outgrowth of ecclesiasticism, and neither have sanction in the word of god, nor will bear the searching light of its testimony. cyprian has forewarned us that even _antiquity_ is not _authority,_ but may be only _vetustas erroris_--the old age of error. what radical reforms would be made in modern worship, teaching and practice,--in the whole conduct of disciples and the administration of the church of god,--if the one final criterion of all judgment were: what do the scriptures teach?' and what revolutions in our own lives as believers might take place, if we should first put every notion of truth and custom of life to this one test of scripture authority, and then with the courage of conviction dare to do according to that word--counting no cost, but studying to show ourselves approved of god! is it possible that there are any modern disciples who "reject the commandment of god that they may keep their own tradition"? * matthew xv. . mark vii. - . this step, taken by mr. muller as to baptism, was only a precursor of many others, all of which, as he believed, were according to that word which, as the lamp to the believer's feet, is to throw light upon his path. during this same summer of the further study of the word satisfied him that, though there is no direct _command_ so to do, the scriptural and apostolic _practice_ was to _break bread every lord's day._ (acts xx , etc.) also, that the spirit of god should have unhindered liberty to work through any believer according to the gifts he had bestowed, seemed to him plainly taught in romans xii.; cor. xii.; ephes. iv., etc. these conclusions likewise this servant of god sought to translate at once into conduct, and such conformity brought increasing spiritual prosperity. conscientious misgivings, about the same time, ripened into settled convictions that he could no longer, upon the same principle of obedience to the word of god, consent to _receive any stated salary_ as a minister of christ. for this latter position, which so influenced his life, he assigns the following grounds, which are here stated as showing the basis of his life-long attitude: . a stated salary implies a fixed sum, which cannot well be paid without a fixed income through pew-rentals or some like source of revenue. this seemed plainly at war with the teaching of the spirit of god in james ii. - , since the poor brother cannot afford as good sittings as the rich, thus introducing into church assemblies invidious distinctions and respect of persons, and so encouraging the caste spirit. . a fixed pew-rental may at times become, even to the willing disciple, a burden. he who would gladly contribute to a pastor's support, if allowed to do so according to his ability and at his own convenience, might be oppressed by the demand to pay a stated sum at a stated time. circumstances so change that one who has the same cheerful mind as before may be unable to give as formerly, and thus be subjected to painful embarrassment and humiliation if constrained to give a fixed sum. . the whole system tends to the bondage of the servant of christ. one must be unusually faithful and intrepid if he feels no temptation to keep back or in some degree modify his message in order to please men, when he remembers that the very parties, most open to rebuke and most liable to offence, are perhaps the main contributors toward his salary. whatever others may think of such reasons as these, they were so satisfactory to his mind that he frankly and promptly announced them to his brethren; and thus, as early as the autumn of , when just completing his twenty-fifth year, he took a position from which he never retreated, that he would thenceforth _receive no fixed salary for any service rendered to god's people._ while calmly assigning scriptural grounds for such a position he, on the same grounds, urged _voluntary offerings,_ whether of money or other means of support, as the proper acknowledgment of service rendered by god's minister, and as a sacrifice acceptable, well-pleasing to god. a little later, seeing that, when such voluntary gifts came direct from the givers personally, there was a danger that some might feel self-complacent over the largeness of the amount given by them, and others equally humbled by the smallness of their offerings, with consequent damage to both classes, of givers, he took a step further: he had a _box put up in the chapel,_ over which was written, that whoever had a desire to do something for his support might put such an offering therein as ability and disposition might direct. his intention was, that thus the act might be wholly as in god's sight, without the risk of a sinful pride or false humility. he further felt that, to be entirely consistent, he should _ask no help from man,_ even in bearing necessary costs of travel in the lord's service, nor even state his needs beforehand in such a way as indirectly to appeal for aid. all of these methods he conceived to be forms of trusting in an arm of flesh, going to man for help instead of going at once, always and only, to the lord. and he adds: _"to come to this conclusion before god required more grace than to give up my salary."_ these successive steps are here recorded explicitly and in their exact order because they lead up directly to the ultimate goal of his life-work and witness. such decisions were vital links connecting this remarkable man and his "father's business," upon which he was soon more fully to enter; and they were all necessary to the fulness of the world-wide witness which he was to bear to a prayer-hearing god and the absolute safety of trusting in him and in him alone. on october , , george muller, in finding a wife, found a good thing and obtained new favour from the lord. miss mary groves, sister of the self-denying dentist whose surrender of all things for the mission field had so impressed him years before, was married to this man of god, and for forty blessed years proved an help meet for him. it was almost, if not quite, an ideal union, for which he continually thanked god; and, although her kingdom was one which came not with observation,' the sceptre of her influence was far wider in its sway than will ever be appreciated by those who were strangers to her personal and domestic life. she was a rare woman and her price was above rubies. the heart of her husband safely trusted, in her, and the great family of orphans who were to her as children rise up even to this day to call her blessed. married life has often its period of estrangement, even when temporary alienation yields to a deeper love, as the parties become more truly wedded by the assimilation of their inmost being to one another. but to mr. and mrs. muller there never came any such experience of even temporary alienation. from the first, love grew, and with it, mutual confidence and trust. one of the earliest ties which bound these two in one was the bond of a _common self-denial._ yielding literal obedience to luke xii. , they sold what little they had and gave alms, henceforth laying up no treasures on earth (matthew vi. - ; xix. .) the step then taken--accepting, for christ's sake, voluntary poverty--was never regretted, but rather increasingly rejoiced in; how faithfully it was followed in the same path of continued self-sacrifice will sufficiently appear when it is remembered that, nearly sixty-eight years afterward, george muller passed suddenly into the life beyond, a poor man; his will, when admitted to probate, showing his entire personal property, under oath, to be but one hundred and sixty pounds! and even that would not have been in his possession had there been no daily need of requisite comforts for the body and of tools for his work. part of this amount was in money, shortly before received and not yet laid out for his master, but held at his disposal. nothing, even to the clothes he wore, did he treat as his own. he was a consistent steward. this final farewell to all earthly possessions, in , left this newly married husband and wife to look only to the lord. thenceforth they were to put to ample daily test both their faith in the great provider and the faithfulness of the great promiser. it may not be improper here to anticipate, what is yet to be more fully recorded, that, from day to day and hour to hour, during more than threescore years, george muller was enabled to set to his seal that god is true. if few men have ever been permitted so to trace in the smallest matters god's care over his children, it is partly because few have so completely abandoned themselves to that care. he dared to trust him, with whom the hairs of our head are all numbered, and who touchingly reminds us that he cares for what has been quaintly called _"the odd sparrow."_ matthew records (x. ) how two sparrows are sold for a farthing, and luke (xii. ) how five are sold for two farthings; and so it would appear that, when two farthings were offered, an odd sparrow was thrown in, as of so little value that it could be given away with the other four. and yet even for that one sparrow, not worth taking into account in the bargain, _god cares._ not one of them is forgotten before god, or falls to the ground without him. with what force then comes the assurance: "fear ye not therefore; ye are of more value than many sparrows!" so george muller found it to be. he was permitted henceforth to know as never before, and as few others have ever learned, how truly god may be approached as "thou that hearest prayer." god can keep his trusting children not only from falling but from stumbling; for, during all those after-years that spanned the lifetime of two generations, there was no drawing back. those precious promises, which in faith and hope were "laid hold" of in , were "held fast" until the end. (heb. vi. , x. .) and the divine faithfulness proved a safe anchorage-ground in the most prolonged and violent tempests. the anchor of hope, sure and steadfast, and entering into that within the veil, was never dragged from its secure hold on god. in fifty thousand cases, mr. muller calculated that he could trace distinct answers to definite prayers; and in multitudes of instances in which god's care was not definitely traced, it was day by day like an encompassing passing but invisible presence or atmosphere of life and strength. on august , , mrs. muller gave birth to a stillborn babe, and for six weeks remained seriously ill. her husband meanwhile laments that his heart was so cold and carnal, and his prayers often so hesitating and formal; and he detects, even behind his zeal for god, most unspiritual frames. he especially chides himself for not having more seriously thought of the peril of child-bearing, so as to pray more earnestly for his wife; and he saw clearly that the prospect of parenthood had not been rejoiced in as a blessing, but rather as implying a new burden and hindrance in the lord's work. while this man of god lays bare his heart in his journal, the reader must feel that "as in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man." how many a servant of god has no more exalted idea of the divine privilege of a sanctified parenthood! a wife and a child are most precious gifts of god when received, in answer to prayer, from his hand. not only are they not hindrances, but they are helps, most useful in fitting a servant of christ for certain parts of his work for which no other preparation is so adequate. they serve to teach him many most valuable lessons, and to round out his character into a far more symmetrical beauty and serviceableness. and when it is remembered how a godly _association_ in holiness and usefulness may thus be supplied, and above all a godly _succession_ through many generations, it will be seen how wicked is the spirit that treats holy wedlock and its fruits in offspring,--with lightness and contempt. nor let us forget that promise: "if two of you agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven." (matt. xviii. .) the greek word for "agree" is _symphonize,_ and suggests a musical harmony where chords are tuned to the same key and struck by a master hand. consider what a blessed preparation for such habitual symphony in prayer is to be found in the union of a husband and wife in the lord! may it not be that to this the spirit refers when he bids husband and wife dwell in unity, as "heirs together of the grace of life," and adds, _"that your prayers be not hindered"?_ ( peter iii. .) god used this severe lesson for permanent blessing to george muller. he showed him how open was his heart to the subtle power of selfishness and carnality, and how needful was this chastisement to teach him the sacredness of marital life and parental responsibility. henceforth he judged himself, that he might not be "judged of the lord." ( cor. xi. .) a crisis like his wife's critical illness created a demand for much extra expense, for which no provision had been made, not through carelessness and improvidence, but upon principle. mr. muller held that to lay by in store is inconsistent with full trust in god, who in such case would send us to our hoardings before answering prayer for more supplies. experience in this emergency justified his faith; for not only were all unforeseen wants supplied, but even the delicacies and refreshments needful for the sick and weak; and the two medical attendants graciously declined all remuneration for services which extended through six weeks. thus was there given of the lord more than could have been laid up against this season of trial, even had the attempt been made. the principle of committing future wants to the lord's care, thus acted upon at this time, he and his wife consistently followed so long as they lived and worked together. experience confirmed them in the conviction that a life of trust forbids laying up treasures against unforeseen foreseen needs, since with god _no emergency is unforeseen and no want unprovided for;_ and he may be as implicitly trusted for extraordinary needs as for our common daily bread. yet another law, kindred to this and thoroughly inwrought into mr. muller's habit of life, was _never to contract debt,_ whether for personal purposes or the lord's work. this matter was settled on scriptural grounds once for all (romans xiii. ), and he and his wife determined if need be to suffer starvation rather than to buy anything without paying for it when bought. thus they always knew how much they had to buy with, and what they had left to give to others or use for others' wants. there was yet another law of life early framed into mr. muller's personal decalogue. he regarded any money which was in his hands _already designated for, or appropriated to, a specific use,_ as _not his to use, even temporarily, for any other ends._ thus, though he was often reduced to the lowest point of temporal supplies, he took no account of any such funds set apart for other outlays or due for other purposes. thousands of times he was in straits where such diversion of funds for a time seemed the only and the easy way out, but where this would only have led him into new embarrassments. this principle, intelligently adopted, was firmly adhered to, that what properly belongs to a particular branch of work, or has been already put aside for a certain use, even though yet in hand, is not to be reckoned on as available for any other need, however pressing. trust in god implies such knowledge on his part of the exact circumstances that he will not constrain us to any such misappropriation. mistakes, most serious and fatal, have come from lack of conscience as well as of faith in such exigencies--drawing on one fund to meet the overdraught upon another, hoping afterward to replace what is thus withdrawn. a well-known college president had nearly involved the institution of which he was the head, in bankruptcy, and himself in worse moral ruin, all the result of one error--money given for endowing certain chairs had been used for current expenses until public confidence had been almost hopelessly impaired. thus a life of _faith_ must be no less a life of _conscience._ faith and trust in god, and truth and faithfulness toward man, walked side by side in this life-journey in unbroken agreement. chapter vi "the narrative of the lord's dealings" things which are sacred forbid even a careless touch. the record written by george muller of the lord's dealings reads, especially in parts, almost like an inspired writing, because it is simply the tracing of divine guidance in a human life--not this man's own working or planning, suffering or serving, but the _lord's dealings_ with him and workings through him. it reminds us of that conspicuous passage in the acts of the apostles where, within the compass of twenty verses, god is fifteen times put boldly forward as the one actor in all events. paul and barnabas rehearsed, in the ears of the church at antioch, and afterward at jerusalem, not what _they had done_ for the lord, but all that _he had done_ with them, and how _he had opened_ the door of faith unto the gentiles; what miracles and wonders _god had wrought_ among the gentiles by them. and, in the same spirit, peter before the council emphasizes how god had made choice of his mouth, as that whereby the gentiles should hear the word of the gospel and believe; how he had given them the holy ghost and put no difference between jew and gentile, purifying their hearts by faith; and how he who knew all hearts had thus borne them witness. then james, in the same strain, refers to the way in which _god had visited_ the gentiles to _take out_ of them a people for his name; and concludes by two quotations or adaptations from the old testament, which fitly sum up the whole matter: "the lord _who doeth_ all these things." "known unto god are _all his works_ from the beginning of the world." (acts xiv. to xv. .) the meaning of such repeated phraseology cannot be mistaken. god is here presented as the one agent or actor, and even the most conspicuous apostles, like paul and peter, as only his instruments. no twenty verses in the word of god contain more emphatic and repeated lessons on man's insufficiency and nothingness, and god's all-sufficiency and almightiness. it was god that wrought upon man through man. it was he who chose peter to be his mouthpiece, he whose key unlocked shut doors, he who visited the nations, who turned sinners into saints, who was even then taking out a people for his name, purifying hearts and bearing them witness; it was he and he alone who did all these wondrous things, and according to his knowledge and plan of what he would do, from the beginning. we are not reading so much the acts of the apostles as the acts of god through the apostles. was it not this very passage in this inspired book that suggested, perhaps, the name of this journal: _"the lord's dealings with george muller"_? at this narrative or journal, as a whole, we can only rapidly glance. in this shorter account, purposely condensed to secure a wider reading even from busy people, that narrative could not be more fully treated, for in its original form it covers about three thousand printed pages, and contains close to one million words. to such as can and will read that more minute account it is accessible at a low rate,* and is strongly recommended for careful and leisurely perusal. but for the present purpose the life-story, as found in these pages, takes both a briefer and a different form. * five volumes at s. published by jas. nisbet & co., london. with subsequent annual reports at d. each. the journal is largely composed of, condensed from, and then supplemented by, annual reports of the work, and naturally and necessarily includes, not only thousands of little details, but much inevitable repetition year by year, because each new report was likely to fall into the hands of some who had never read reports of the previous years. the desire and design of this briefer memoir is to present the salient points of the narrative, to review the whole life-story as from the great summits or outlooks found in this remarkable journal; so that, like the observer who from some high mountain-peak looks toward the different points of the compass, and thus gets a rapid, impressive, comparative, and comprehensive view of the whole landscape, the reader may, as at a glance, take in those marked features of this godly man's character and career which incite to new and advance steps in faith and holy living. some few characteristic entries in the journal will find here a place; others, only in substance; while of the bulk of them it will be sufficient to give a general survey, classifying the leading facts, and under each class giving a few representative examples and illustrations. looking at this narrative as a whole, certain prominent peculiarities must be carefully noted. we have here a record and revelation of seven conspicuous experiences: . an experience of frequent and at times prolonged _financial straits._ the money in hand for personal needs, and for the needs of hundreds and thousands of orphans, and for the various branches of the work of the scriptural knowledge institution, was often reduced to a single _pound,_ or even _penny,_ and sometimes to _nothing._ there was therefore a necessity for constant waiting on god, looking to him directly for all supplies. for months, if not years, together, and at several periods in the work, supplies were furnished only from month to month, week to week, day to day, _hour to hour!_ faith was thus kept in lively exercise and under perpetual training. . an experience of the _unchanging faithfulness of the father-god._ the straits were long and trying, but never was there one case of failure to receive help; never a meal-time without at least a frugal meal, never a want or a crisis unmet by divine supply and support. mr. muller said to the writer: "not once, or five times, or five hundred times, but thousands of times in these threescore years, have we had in hand not enough _for one more meal,_ either in food or in funds; but not once has god failed us; not once have we or the orphans gone hungry or lacked any good thing." from to was a period of peculiar and prolonged straits, yet when the time of need actually came the supply was always given, though often at the last moment. . an experience of the working of god upon the minds, hearts, and consciences of _contributors to the work._ it will amply repay one to plod, step by step, over these thousands of pages, if only to trace the hand of god touching the springs of human action all over the world in ways of his own, and at times of great need, and adjusting the amount and the exact day and hour of the supply, to the existing want. literally from the earth's ends, men, women, and children who had never seen mr. muller and could have known nothing of the pressure at the time, have been led at the exact crisis of affairs to send aid in the very sum or form most needful. in countless cases, while he was on his knees asking, the answer has come in such close correspondence with the request as to shut out chance as an explanation, and compel belief in a prayer-hearing god. . an experience of habitual _hanging upon the unseen god_ and nothing else. the reports, issued annually to acquaint the public with the history and progress of the work, and give an account of stewardship to the many donors who had a right to a report--these made _no direct appeal for aid._ at one time, and that of great need, mr. muller felt led to _withhold_ the usual annual statement, lest some might construe the account of work already done as an appeal for aid in work yet to be done, and thus detract from the glory of the great provider.* the living god alone was and is the patron of these institutions; and not even the wisest and wealthiest, the noblest and the most influential of human beings, has ever been looked to as their dependence. * for example, vol. ii, , records that the report given is for - , no report having been issued for ; and on page , under date of may th, occur these words: "not being nearly enough to meet the housekeeping expenses," etc.; and, may th and th, such other words as these: "now our poverty," "in this our great need," "in these days of straitness." mr. wright thinks that _on that very account_ mr. muller did not publish the report for . . an experience of conscientious _care in accepting and using gifts._ here is a pattern for all who act as stewards for god. whenever there was any ground of misgiving as to the propriety or expediency of receiving what was offered, it was declined, however pressing the need, unless or until all such objectionable features no more existed. if the party contributing was known to dishonour lawful debts, so that the money was righteously due to others; if the gift was encumbered and embarrassed by restrictions that hindered its free use for god; if it was designated for endowment purposes or as a provision for mr. muller's old age, or for the future of the institutions; or if there was any evidence or suspicion that the donation was given grudgingly, reluctantly, or for self-glory, it was promptly declined and returned. in some cases, even where large amounts were involved, parties were urged to wait until more prayer and deliberation made clear that they were acting under divine leading. . an experience of extreme caution lest there should be even a careless _betrayal of the fact of pressing need,_ to the outside public. the helpers in the institutions were allowed to come into such close fellowship and to have such knowledge of the exact state of the work as aids not only in common labours, but in common prayers and self-denials. without such acquaintance they could not serve, pray, nor sacrifice intelligently. but these associates were most solemnly and repeatedly charged never to reveal to those without, not even in the most serious crises, any want whatsoever of the work. the one and only resort was ever to be the god who hears the cry of the needy; and the greater the exigency, the greater the caution lest there should even seem to be a looking away from divine to human help. . an experience of growing boldness of faith in _asking and trusting for great things._ as faith was exercised it was energized, so that it became as easy and natural to ask confidently for a hundred, a thousand, or ten thousand pounds, as once it had been for a pound or a penny. after confidence in god had been strengthened through discipline, and god had been proven faithful, it required no more venture to cast himself on god for provision for two thousand children and an annual outlay of at least twenty-five thousand pounds for them than in the earlier periods of the work to look to him to care for twenty homeless orphans at a cost of two hundred and fifty pounds a year. only by _using_ faith are we kept from practically _losing_ it, and, on the contrary, to use faith is to lose the unbelief that hinders god's mighty acts. this brief resume of the contents of thousands of entries is the result of a repeated and careful examination of page after page where have been patiently recorded with scrupulous and punctilious exactness the innumerable details of mr. muller's long experience as a coworker with god. he felt himself not only the steward of a celestial master, but the trustee of human gifts, and hence he sought to "provide things honest in the sight of all men." he might never have published a report or spread these minute matters before the public eye, and yet have been an equally faithful steward toward _god;_ but he would not in such case have been an equally faithful trustee toward man. frequently, in these days, men receive considerable sums of money from various sources for benevolent work, and yet give no account of such trusteeship. however honest such parties may be, they not only act unwisely, but, by their course, lend sanction to others with whom such irresponsible action is a cloak for systematic fraud. mr. muller's whole career is the more without fault because in this respect his administration of his great trust challenges the closest investigation. the brief review of the lessons taught in his journal may well startle the incredulous and unbelieving spirit of our skeptical day. those who doubt the power of prayer to bring down actual blessing, or who confound faith in god with credulity and superstition, may well wonder and perhaps stumble at such an array of facts. but, if any reader is still doubtful as to the facts, or thinks they are here arrayed in a deceptive garb or invested with an imaginative halo, he is hereby invited to examine for himself the singularly minute records which george muller has been led of god to put before the world in a printed form which thus admits no change, and to accompany with a bold and repeated challenge to any one so inclined, to subject every statement to the severest scrutiny, and prove, if possible, one item to be in any respect false, exaggerated, or misleading. the absence of all enthusiasm in the calm and mathematical precision of the narrative compels the reader to feel that the writer was almost mechanically exact in the record, and inspires confidence that it contains the absolute, naked truth. one caution should, like habakkuk's gospel message--"the just shall live by his faith"--be written large and plain so that even a cursory glance may take it in. let no one ascribe to george muller such a _miraculous gift of faith_ as lifted him above common believers and out of the reach of the temptations and infirmities to which all fallible souls are exposed. he was constantly liable to satanic assaults, and we find him making frequent confession of the same sins as others, and even of unbelief, and at times overwhelmed with genuine sorrow for his departures from god. in fact he felt himself rather more than usually wicked by nature, and utterly helpless even as a believer: was it not this poverty of spirit and mourning over sin, this consciousness of entire unworthiness and dependence, that so drove him to the throne of grace and the all-merciful and all-powerful father? because he was so weak, he leaned hard on the strong arm of him whose strength is not only manifested, but can only be made perfect, in weakness.* * cor. xii. - . to those who think that no man can wield such power in prayer or live such a life of faith who is not an exception to common mortal frailties, it will be helpful to find in this very journal that is so lighted up with the records of god's goodness, the dark shadows of conscious sin and guilt. even in the midst of abounding mercies and interpositions he suffered from temptations to distrust and disobedience, and sometimes had to mourn their power over him, as when once he found himself inwardly complaining of the cold leg of mutton which formed the staple of his sunday dinner! we discover as we read that we are communing with a man who was not only of like passions with ourselves, but who felt himself rather more than most others subject to the sway of evil, and needing therefore a special keeping power. scarce had he started upon his new path of entire dependence on god, when he confessed himself "so sinful" as for some time to entertain the thought that "it would be of no use to trust in the lord in this way," and fearing that he had perhaps gone already too far in this direction in having committed himself to such a course.* true, this temptation was speedily overcome and satan confounded; but from time to time similar fiery darts were hurled at him which had to be quenched by the same shield of faith. never, to the last hour of life, could he trust himself, or for one moment relax his hold on god, and neglect the word of god and prayer, without falling into sin. the 'old man,' of sin always continued too strong for george muller alone, and the longer he lived a 'life of trust' the less was his trust placed upon himself. * vol. i. . another fact that grows more conspicuous with the perusal of every new page in his journal is that in things common and small, as well as uncommon and great, he took no step without first asking counsel of the oracles of god and seeking guidance from him in believing prayer. it was his life-motto to learn the will of god before undertaking anything, and to wait till it is clear, because only so can one either be blessed in his own soul or prospered in the work of his hands.* many disciples who are comparatively bold to seek god's help in great crises, fail to come to him with like boldness in matters that seem too trivial to occupy the thought of god or invite the interposition of him who numbers the very hairs of our heads and suffers not one hair to perish. the writer of this journal escaped this great snare and carried even the smallest matter to the lord. * vol. i. . again, in his journal he constantly seeks to save from reproach the good name of him whom he serves: he cannot have such a god accounted a hard master. so early as july, , a false rumour found circulation that he and his wife were half-starving and that certain bodily ailments were the result of a lack of the necessities of life; and he is constrained to put on record that, though often brought so low as not to have one penny left and to have the last bread on the table, they had never yet sat down to a meal unprovided with some nourishing food. this witness was repeated from time to time, and until just before his departure for the father's house on high; and it may therefore be accepted as covering that whole life of faith which reached over nearly threescore years and ten. a kindred word of testimony, first given at this same time and in like manner reiterated from point to point in his pilgrimage, concerns the lord's faithfulness in accompanying his word with power, in accordance with that positive and unequivocal promise in isaiah lv. : "my word shall not return unto me void; but it shall accomplish that which i please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto i sent it." it is very noticeable that this is not said of _man's_ word, however wise, important, or sincere, but of _god's_ word. we are therefore justified in both expecting and claiming that, just so far as our message is not of human invention or authority, but is god's message through us, it shall never fail to accomplish his pleasure and its divine errand, whatever be its apparent failure at the time. mr. muller, referring to his own preaching, bears witness that in almost if not quite every place where he spoke god's word, whether in larger chapels or smaller rooms, the lord gave the seal of his own testimony. he observed, however, that blessing did not so obviously or abundantly follow his open-air services: only in one instance had it come to his knowledge that there were marked results, and that was in the case of an army officer who came to make sport. mr. muller thought that it might please the lord not to let him see the real fruit of his work in open-air meetings, or that there had not been concerning them enough believing prayer; but he concluded that such manner of preaching was not his present work, since god had not so conspicuously sealed it with blessing. his journal makes very frequent reference to the physical weakness and disability from which he suffered. the struggle against bodily infirmity was almost life-long, and adds a new lesson to his life-story. the strength of faith had to triumph over the weakness of the flesh. we often find him suffering from bodily ills, and sometimes so seriously as to be incapacitated for labour. for example, early in he broke a blood-vessel in the stomach and lost much blood by the hemorrhage. the very day following was the lord's day, and four outside preaching stations needed to be provided for, from which his disablement would withdraw one labourer to take his place at home. after an hour of prayer he felt that faith was given him to rise, dress, and go to the chapel; and, though very weak, so that the short walk wearied him, he was helped to preach as usual. after the service a medical friend remonstrated against his course as tending to permanent injury; but he replied that he should himself have regarded it presumptuous had not the lord given him the faith. he preached both afternoon and evening, growing stronger rather than weaker with each effort, and suffering from no reaction afterward. in reading mr. muller's biography and the record of such experiences, it is not probable that all will agree as to the wisdom of his course in every case. some will commend, while others will, perhaps, condemn. he himself qualifies this entry in his journal with a wholesome caution that no reader should in such a matter follow his example, who _has not faith given him;_ but assuring him that if god does give faith so to undertake for him, such trust will prove like good coin and be honoured when presented. he himself did not always pursue a like course, because he had not always a like faith, and this leads him in his journal to draw a valuable distinction between the _gift of faith_ and the _grace of faith,_ which deserves careful consideration. he observed that repeatedly he prayed with the sick till they were restored, he _asking unconditionally for the blessing of bodily health,_ a thing which, he says, later on, he could not have done. almost always in such cases the petition was granted, yet in some instances not. once, in his own case, as early as , he had been healed of a bodily infirmity of long standing, and which never returned. yet this same man of god subsequently suffered from disease which was not in like manner healed, and in more than one case submitted to a costly operation at the hands of a skilful surgeon. some will doubtless say that even this man of faith lacked the faith necessary for the healing of his own body; but we must let him speak for himself, and especially as he gives his own view of the gift and the grace of faith. he says that the _gift_ of faith is exercised, whenever we "do or believe a thing where the not doing or not believing would _not_ be sin"; but the _grace_ of faith, "where we do or believe what not to do or believe _would_ be sin"; in one case we have no unequivocal command or promise to guide us, and in the other we have. the gift of faith is not always in exercise, but the grace must be, since it has the definite word of god to rest on, and the absence or even weakness of faith in such circumstances implies sin. there were instances, he adds, in which it pleased the lord at times to bestow upon him something like the gift of faith so that he could ask unconditionally and expect confidently. this journal we may now dismiss as a whole, having thus looked at the general features which characterize its many pages. but let it be repeated that to any reader who will for himself carefully examine its contents its perusal will prove a means of grace. to read a little at a time, and follow it with reflection and self-examination, will be found most stimulating to faith, though often most humiliating by reason of the conscious contrast suggested by the reader's unbelief and unfaithfulness. this man lived peculiarly with god and in god, and his senses were exercised to discern good and evil. his conscience became increasingly sensitive and his judgment singularly discriminating, so that he detected fallacies where they escape the common eye, and foresaw dangers which, like hidden rocks ahead, risk damage and, perhaps, destruction to service if not to character. and, therefore, so far is the writer of this memoir from desiring to displace that journal, that he rather seeks to incite many who have not read it to examine it for themselves. it will to such be found to mark a path of close daily walk with god, where, step by step, with circumspect vigilance, conduct and even motive are watched and weighed in god's own balances. to sum up very briefly the impression made by the close perusal of this whole narrative with the supplementary annual reports, it is simply this: confidence in god. in a little sketch of beate paulus, the frau pastorin pleads with god in a great crisis not to forsake her, quaintly adding that she was "willing to be the second whom he might forsake," but she was "determined not to be the _first."_* george muller believed that, in all ages, there had never yet been one true and trusting believer to whom god had proven false or faithless, and he was perfectly sure that he could be safely trusted who, "if we believe not, yet abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself."** god has not only _spoken,_ but _sworn;_ his word is confirmed by his oath: because he could swear by no greater he sware by himself. and all this that we might have a strong consolation; that we might have boldness in venturing upon him, laying hold and holding fast his promise. unbelief makes god a _liar_ and, worse still, a _perjurer,_ for it accounts him as not only false to his word, but to his oath. george muller believed, and because he believed, prayed; and praying, expected; and expecting, received. blessed is he that believes, for there shall be a performance of those things which are spoken of the lord. * faith's miracles, p. . ** timothy ii. . chapter vii led of god into a new sphere if much hangs and turns upon the choice of the _work_ we are to do and the _field_ where we are to do it, it must not be forgotten how much also depends on the _time_ when it is undertaken, the _way_ in which it is performed, and the _associates_ in the labour. in all these matters the true workman will wait for the master's beck, glance, or signal, before a step is taken. we have come now to a new fork in the road where the path ahead begins to be more plain. the future and permanent centre of his life-work is at this point clearly indicated to god's servant by divine leading. in march, , his friend mr. henry craik left shaldon for four weeks of labour _in bristol,_ where mr. muller's strong impression was that the lord had for mr. craik some more lasting sphere of work, though as yet it had not dawned upon his mind that he himself was to be a co-worker in that sphere, and to find in that very city the place of his permanent abode and the centre of his life's activities. god again led the blind by a way he knew not. the conviction, however, had grown upon him that the lord was loosing him from teignmouth, and, without having in view any other definite field, he felt that his ministry there was drawing to a close; and he inclined to go about again from place to place, seeking especially to bring believers to a fuller trust in god and a deeper sense of his faithfulness, and to a more thorough search into his word. his inclination to such itinerant work was strengthened by the fact that outside of teignmouth his preaching both gave him much more enjoyment and sense of power, and drew more hearers. on april th a letter from mr. craik, inviting mr. muller to join in his work at bristol, made such an impression on his mind that he began prayerfully to consider whether it was not god's call, and whether a field more suited to his gifts was not opening to him. the following lord's day, preaching on the lord's coming, he referred to the effect of this blessed hope in impelling god's messenger to bear witness more widely and from place to place, and reminded the brethren that he had refused to bind himself to abide with them that he might at any moment be free to follow the divine leading elsewhere. on april th mr. muller left for bristol. on the journey he was dumb, having no liberty in speaking for christ or even in giving away tracts, and this led him to reflect. he saw that the so-called 'work of the lord' had tempted him to substitute _action for meditation and communion._ he had neglected that still hour' with god which supplies to spiritual life alike its breath and its bread. no lesson is more important for us to learn, yet how slow are we to learn it: that for the lack of habitual seasons set apart for devout meditation upon the word of god and for prayer, nothing else will compensate. we are prone to think, for example, that converse with christian brethren, and the general round of christian activity, especially when we are much busied with preaching the word and visits to inquiring or needy souls, make up for the loss of aloneness with god in the secret place. we hurry to a public service with but a few minutes of private prayer, allowing precious time to be absorbed in social pleasures, restrained from withdrawing from others by a false delicacy, when to excuse ourselves for needful communion with god and his word would have been perhaps the best witness possible to those whose company was holding us unduly! how often we rush from one public engagement to another without any proper interval for renewing our strength in waiting on the lord, as though god cared more for the quantity than the quality of our service! here mr. muller had the grace to detect one of the foremost perils of a busy man in this day of insane hurry. he saw that if we are to feed others we must be fed; and that even public and united exercises of praise and prayer can never supply that food which is dealt out to the believer only in the closet--the shut-in place with its closed door and open window, where he meets god alone. in a previous chapter reference has been made to the fact that three times in the word of god we find a divine prescription for a true prosperity. god says to joshua, "this book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: _for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success"_ (joshua i. .) five hundred years later the inspired author of the first psalm repeats the promise in unmistakable terms. the spirit there says of him whose delight is in the law of the lord and who in his law doth meditate day and night, that "he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and _whatsoever he doeth shall prosper."_ here the devout meditative student of the blessed book of god is likened to an evergreen tree planted beside unfailing supplies of moisture; his fruit is perennial, and so is his verdure--and _whatsoever he doeth_ prospers! more than a thousand years pass away, and, before the new testament is sealed up as complete, once more the spirit bears essentially the same blessed witness. "whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty and _continueth"_ (i.e. continueth _looking_--meditating on what he there beholds, lest he forget the impression received through the mirror of the word), _"this man shall be blessed in his deed"_ (james i. .) here then we have a threefold witness to the secret of true prosperity and unmingled blessing: devout meditation and reflection upon the scriptures, which are at once a book of law, a river of life, and a mirror of self--fitted to convey the will of god, the life of god, and the transforming power of god. that believer makes a fatal mistake who _for any cause_ neglects the prayerful study of the word of god. to read god's holy book, by it search one's self, and turn it into prayer and so into holy living, is the one great secret of growth in grace and godliness. the worker _for_ god must first be a worker _with_ god: he must have power with god and must prevail with him in prayer, if he is to have power with men and prevail with men in preaching or in any form of witnessing and serving. at all costs let us make sure of that highest preparation for our work--the preparation of our own souls; and for this we must _take time_ to be alone with his word and his spirit, that we may truly meet god, and understand his will and the revelation of himself. if we seek the secrets of the life george muller lived and the work he did, this is the very key to the whole mystery, and with that key any believer can unlock the doors to a prosperous growth in grace and power in service. god's word is his word--the expression of his thought, the revealing of his mind and heart. the supreme end of life is to know god and make him known; and how is this possible so long as we neglect the very means he has chosen for conveying to us that knowledge! even christ, the living word, is to be found enshrined in the written word. our knowledge of christ is dependent upon our acquaintance with the holy scriptures, which are the reflection of his character and glory--the firmament across the expanse of which he moves as the sun of righteousness. on april , , george muller first stood in the pulpit of gideon chapel. the fact and the date are to be carefully marked as the new turning-point in a career of great usefulness. henceforth, for almost exactly sixty-six years, bristol is to be inseparably associated with his name. could he have foreseen, on that lord's day, what a work the lord would do through him in that city; how from it as a centre his influence would radiate to the earth's ends, and how, even after his departure, he should continue to bear witness by the works which should follow him, how his heart would have swelled and burst with holy gratitude and praise,--while in humility he shrank back in awe and wonder from a responsibility and an opportunity so vast and overwhelming! in the afternoon of this first sabbath he preached at pithay chapel a sermon conspicuously owned of god. among others converted by it was a young man, a notorious drunkard. and, before the sun had set, mr. muller, who in the evening heard mr. craik preach, was fully persuaded that the lord had brought him to bristol for a purpose, and that for a while, at least, there he was to labour. both he and his brother craik felt, however, that bristol was not the place to reach a clear decision, for the judgment was liable to be unduly biassed when subject to the pressure of personal urgency, and so they determined to return to their respective fields of previous labour, there to wait quietly upon the lord for the promised wisdom from above. they left for devonshire on the first of may; but already a brother had been led to assume the responsibility for the rent of bethesda chapel as a place for their joint labours, thus securing a second commodious building for public worship. such blessing had rested on these nine days of united testimony in bristol that they both gathered that the lord had assuredly called them thither. the seal of his sanction had been on all they had undertaken, and the last service at gideon chapel on april th had been so thronged that many went away for lack of room. mr. muller found opportunity for the exercise of humility, for he saw that by many his brother's gifts were much preferred to his own; yet, as mr. craik would come to bristol only with him as a yokefellow, god's grace enabled him to accept the humiliation of being the less popular, and comforted him with the thought that two are better than one, and that each might possibly fill up some lack in the other, and thus both together prove a greater benefit and blessing alike to sinners and to saints--as the result showed. that same grace of god helped mr. muller to rise higher--nay, let us rather say, to sink lower and, "in honor preferring one another," to rejoice rather than to be envious; and, like john the baptist, to say within himself: "a man can receive nothing except it be given him from above." such a humble spirit has even in this life oftentimes its recompense of reward. marked as was the impress of mr. craik upon bristol, mr. muller's influence was even deeper and wider. as henry craik died in , his own work reached through a much longer period; and as he was permitted to make such extensive mission tours throughout the world, his witness was far more outreaching. the lowly-minded man who bowed down to take the lower place, consenting to be the more obscure, was by god exalted to the higher seat and greater throne of influence. within a few weeks the lord's will, as to their new sphere, became so plain to both these brethren that on may d mr. muller left teignmouth for bristol, to be followed next day by mr. craik. at the believers' meeting at gideon chapel they stated their terms, which were acceded to: that they were to be regarded as accepting no fixed relationship to the congregation, preaching in such manner and for such a season as should seem to them according to the lord's will; that they should not be under bondage to any rules among them; that _pew-rents should be done away with;_ and that they should, as in devonshire, _look to the lord to supply all temporal wants through the voluntary offerings of those to whom they ministered._ within a month bethesda chapel had been so engaged for a year as to risk no debt, and on july th services began there as at gideon. from the very first, the spirit set his seal on the joint work of these two brethren. ten days after the opening service at bethesda, an evening being set for inquirers, the throng of those seeking counsel was so great that more than four hours were consumed in ministering to individual souls, and so from time to time similar meetings were held with like encouragement. august , , was a memorable day. on that evening at bethesda chapel mr. muller, mr. craik, one other brother, and four sisters--_only seven in all_--sat down together, uniting in church fellowship _"without any rules,--desiring to act only as the lord should be pleased to give light through his word."_ this is a very short and simple entry in mr. mailer's journal, but it has most solemn significance. it records what was to him separation to the hallowed work of building up a simple apostolic church, with no manual of guidance but the new testament; and in fact it introduces us to the third period of his life, when he entered fully upon the work to which god had set him apart. the further steps now followed in rapid succession. god having prepared the workman and gathered the material, the structure went on quietly and rapidly until the life-work was complete. cholera was at this time raging in bristol. this terrible 'scourge of god' first appeared about the middle of july and continued for three months, prayer-meetings being held often, and for a time daily, to plead for the removal of this visitation. death stalked abroad, the knell of funeral-bells almost constantly sounding, and much solemnity hanging like a dark pall over the community. of course many visits to the sick, dying, and afflicted became necessary, but it is remarkable that, among all the children of god among whom mr. muller and mr. craik laboured, but one died of this disease. in the midst of all this gloom and sorrow of a fatal epidemic, a little daughter was born to mr. and mrs. muller september , . about her name, lydia, sweet fragrance lingers, for she became one of god's purest saints and the beloved wife of james wright. how little do we forecast at the time the future of a new-born babe who, like samuel, may in god's decree be established to be a prophet of the lord, or be set apart to some peculiar sphere of service, as in the case of another lydia, whose heart the lord opened and whom he called to be the nucleus of the first christian church in europe. mr. mullers unfeigned humility, and the docility that always accompanies that unconscious grace, found new exercise when the meetings with inquirers revealed the fact that his colleague's preaching was much more used of god than his own, in conviction and conversion. this discovery led to much self-searching, and he concluded that three reasons lay back of this fact: first, mr. craik was more spiritually minded than himself; second, he was more earnest in prayer for converting power; and third, he oftener spoke directly to the unsaved, in his public ministrations. such disclosures of his own comparative lack did not exhaust themselves in vain self-reproaches, but led at once to more importunate prayer, more diligent preparation for addressing the unconverted, and more frequent appeals to this class. from this time on, mr. muller's preaching had the seal of god upon it equally with his brother's. what a wholesome lesson to learn, that for every defect in our service there is a cause, and that the one all-sufficient remedy is the throne of grace, where in every time of need we may boldly come to find grace and help! it has been already noted that mr. muller did not satisfy himself with more prayer, but gave new diligence and study to the preparation of discourses adapted to awaken careless souls. in the supernatural as well as the natural sphere, there is a law of cause and effect. even the spirit of god works not without order and method; he has his chosen channels through which he pours blessing. there is no accident in the spiritual world. "the spirit bloweth where he listeth," but even the wind has its circuits. there is a kind of preaching, fitted to bring conviction and conversion, and there is another kind which is not so fitted. even in the faithful use of truth there is room for discrimination and selection. in the armory of the word of god are many weapons, and all have their various uses and adaptations. blessed is the workman or warrior who seeks to know what particular implement or instrument god appoints for each particular work or conflict. we are to study to keep in such communion with his word and spirit as that we shall be true workmen that need "not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." ( tim. ii. .) this expression, found in paul's second letter to timothy, is a very peculiar one ([transcriber's note: greek source text for the english phrase quoted in the paragraph immediately above appears here]). it seems to be nearly equivalent to the latin phrase _recte viam secare--to cut a straight road_--and to hint that the true workman of god is like the civil engineer to whom it is given to construct a direct road to a certain point. the hearer's heart and conscience is the objective point, and the aim of the preacher should be, so to use god's truth as to reach most directly and effectively the needs of the hearer. he is to avoid all circuitous routes, all evasions, all deceptive apologies and by-ways of argument, and seek by god's help to find the shortest, straightest, quickest road to the convictions and resolutions of those to whom he speaks. and if the road-builder, before he takes any other step, first carefully _surveys his territory and lays out his route,_ how much more should the preacher first study the needs of his hearers and the best ways of successfully dealing with them, and then with even more carefulness and prayerfulness study the adaptation of the word of god and the gospel message to meet those wants. early in the year , letters from missionaries in baghdad urged messrs. muller and craik to join them in labours in that distant field, accompanying the invitation with drafts for two hundred pounds for costs of travel. two weeks of prayerful inquiry as to the mind of the lord, however, led them to a clear decision _not_ to go--a choice never regretted, and which is here recorded only as part of a complete biography, and as illustrating the manner in which each new call for service was weighed and decided. we now reach another stage of mr. muller's entrance upon his complete life-work. in february, , he had begun to read the biography of a. h. francke, the founder of the orphan houses of halle. as that life and work were undoubtedly used of god to make him a like instrument in a kindred service, and to mould even the methods of his philanthropy, a brief sketch of francke's career may be helpful. august h. francke was muller's fellow countryman. about , at halle in prussia, he had commenced the largest enterprise for poor children then existing in the world. he trusted in god, and he whom he trusted did not fail him, but helped him throughout abundantly. the institutions, which resembled rather a large street than a building, were erected, and in them about two thousand orphan children were housed, fed, clad, and taught. for about thirty years all went on under francke's own eyes, until , when it pleased the master to call the servant up higher; and after his departure his like-minded son-in-law became the director. two hundred years have passed, and these orphan houses are still in existence, serving their noble purpose. it is needful only to look at these facts and compare with francke's work in halle george muller's monuments to a prayer-hearing god on ashley down, to see that in the main the latter work so far resembles the former as to be in not a few respects its counterpart. mr. muller began his orphan work a little more than one hundred years after francke's death; ultimately housed, fed, clothed, and taught over two thousand orphans year by year; personally supervised the work for over sixty years--twice as long a period as that of francke's personal management--and at his decease likewise left his like minded son-in-law to be his successor as the sole director of the work. it need not be added that, beginning his enterprise like francke in dependence on god alone, the founder of the bristol orphan houses trusted from first to last only in him. it is very noticeable how, when god is preparing a workman for a certain definite service, he often leads him out of the beaten track into a path peculiarly his own by means of some striking biography, or by contact with some other living servant who is doing some such work, and exhibiting the spirit which must guide if there is to be a true success. meditation on franeke's life and work naturally led this man who was hungering for a wider usefulness to think more of the poor homeless waifs about him, and to ask whether he also could not plan under god some way to provide for them; and as he was musing the fire burned. as early as june , , when not yet twenty-eight years old, the inward flame began to find vent in a scheme which proved the first forward step toward his orphan work. it occurred to him to gather out of the streets, at about eight o'clock each morning, the poor children, give them a bit of bread for breakfast, and then, for about an hour and a half, teach them to read or read to them the holy scriptures; and later on to do a like service to the adult and aged poor. he began at once to feed from thirty to forty such persons, confident that, as the number increased, the lord's provision would increase also. unburdening his heart to mr. craik, he was guided to a place which could hold one hundred and fifty children and which could be rented for ten shillings yearly; as also to an aged brother who would gladly undertake the teaching. unexpected obstacles, however, prevented the carrying out of this plan. the work already pressing upon mr. muller and mr. craik, the rapid increase of applicants for food, and the annoyance to neighbours of having crowds of idlers congregating in the streets and lying about in troops--these were some of the reasons why this method was abandoned. but the _central thought and aim_ were never lost sight of: god had planted a seed in the soil of mr. mullers heart, presently to spring up in the orphan work, and in the scriptural knowledge institution with its many branches and far-reaching fruits. from time to time a backward glance over the lord's dealings encouraged his heart, as he looked forward to unknown paths and untried scenes. he records at this time--the close of the year --that during the four years since he first began to trust in the lord alone for temporal supplies he had suffered no want. he had received during the first year one hundred and thirty pounds, during the second one hundred and fifty-one, during the third one hundred and ninety-five, and during the last two hundred and sixty-seven--all in free-will offerings and without ever asking any human being for a penny. he had looked alone to the lord, yet he had not only received a supply, but an increasing supply, year by year. yet he also noticed that at each year's close he had very little, if anything, left, and that much had come through strange channels, from distances very remote, and from parties whom he had never seen. he observed also that in every case, according as the need was greater or less, the supply corresponded. he carefully records for the benefit of others that, when the calls for help were many, the great provider showed himself able and willing to send help accordingly.* the ways of divine dealing which he had thus found true of the early years of his life of trust were marked and magnified in all his after-experience, and the lessons learned in these first four years prepared him for others taught in the same school of god and under the same teacher. * vol. i. . thus god had brought his servant by a way which he knew not to the very place and sphere of his life's widest and most enduring work. he had moulded and shaped his chosen vessel, and we are now to see to what purposes of world-wide usefulness that earthen vessel was to be put, and how conspicuously the excellency of the power was to be of god and not of man. chapter viii a tree of god's own planting the time was now fully come when the divine husbandman was to glorify himself by a product of his own husbandry in the soil of bristol. on february , , george muller was led of god to sow the seed of what ultimately developed into a great means of good, known as "the scriptural knowledge institution, for home and abroad." as in all other steps of his life, this was the result of much prayer, meditation on the word, searching of his own heart, and patient waiting to know the mind of god. a brief statement of the reasons for founding such an institution, and the principles on which it was based, will be helpful at this point. motives of conscience controlled mr. muller and mr. craik in starting a new work rather than in uniting with existing societies already established for missionary purposes, bible and tract distribution, and for the promotion of christian schools. as they had sought to conform personal life and church conduct wholly to the scriptural pattern, they felt that all work for god should be carefully carried on in exact accordance with his known will, in order to have his fullest blessing. many features of the existing societies seemed to them extra-scriptural, if not decidedly anti-scriptural, and these they felt constrained to avoid. for example, they felt that the _end proposed_ by such organizations, namely, _the conversion of the world_ in this dispensation, was not justified by the word, which everywhere represents this as the age of the _outgathering of the church_ from the world, and not the _ingathering of the world_ into the church. to set such an end before themselves as the world's conversion would therefore not only be unwarranted by scripture, but delusive and disappointing, disheartening god's servants by the failure to realize the result, and dishonoring to god himself by making him to appear unfaithful. again, these existing societies seemed to mr. muller and mr. craik to sustain a _wrong relation to the world_--mixed up with it, instead of separate from it. any one by paying a certain fixed sum of money might become a member or even a director, having a voice or vote in the conduct of affairs and becoming eligible to office. unscriptural means were commonly used to _raise money,_ such as appealing for aid to unconverted persons, asking for donations simply for money's sake and without regard to the character of the donors or the manner in which the money was obtained. the custom of _seeking patronage_ from men of the world and asking such to preside at public meetings, and the habit of _contracting debts,_--these and some other methods of management seemed so unscriptural and unspiritual that the founders of this new institution could not with a good conscience give them sanction. hence they hoped that by basing their work upon thoroughly biblical principles they might secure many blessed results. first of all, they confidently believed that the work of the lord could be best and most successfully carried on within the landmarks and limits set up in his word; that the fact of thus carrying it on would give boldness in prayer and confidence in labour. but they also desired the work itself to be a witness to the living god, and a testimony to believers, by calling attention to the objectionable methods already in use and encouraging all god's true servants in adhering to the principles and practices which he has sanctioned. on march th at a public meeting a formal announcement of the intention to found such an institution was accompanied by a full statement of its purposes and principles,* in substance as follows: * appendix d. journal i. - . . every believer's duty and privilege is to help on the cause and work of christ. . the patronage of the world is not to be sought after, depended upon, or countenanced. . pecuniary aid, or help in managing or carrying on its affairs, is not to be asked for or sought from those who are not believers. . debts are not to be contracted or allowed for any cause in the work of the lord. . the standard of success is not to be a numerical or financial standard. . all compromise of the truth or any measures that impair testimony to god are to be avoided. thus the word of god was accepted as counsellor, and all dependence was on god's blessing in answer to prayer. the _objects_ of the institution were likewise announced as follows: . to establish or aid day-schools, sunday-schools, and adult-schools, taught and conducted only by believers and on thoroughly scriptural principles. . to circulate the holy scriptures, wholly or in portions, over the widest possible territory. . to aid missionary efforts and assist labourers, in the lord's vineyard anywhere, who are working upon a biblical basis and looking only to the lord for support. to project such a work, on such a scale, and at such a time, was doubly an act of faith; for not only was the work already in hand enough to tax all available time and strength, but at this very time this record appears in mr. muller's journal: _"we have only one shilling left."_ surely no advance step would have been taken, had not the eyes been turned, not on the empty purse, but on the full and exhaustless treasury of a rich and bountiful lord! it was plainly god's purpose that, out of such abundance of poverty, the riches of his liberality should be manifested. it pleased him, from whom and by whom are all things, that the work should be begun when his servants were poorest and weakest, that its growth to such giant proportions might the more prove it to be a plant of his own right hand's planting, and that his word might be fulfilled in its whole history: "i the lord do keep it: i will water it every moment: lest any hurt it, i will keep it night and day:" (isa. xxvii. .) whatever may be thought as to the need of such a new organization, or as to such scruples as moved its founders to insist even in minor matters upon the closest adherence to scripture teaching, this at least is plain, that for more than half a century it has stood upon its original foundation, and its increase and usefulness have surpassed the most enthusiastic dreams of its founders; nor have the principles first avowed ever been abandoned. with the living god as its sole patron, and prayer as its only appeal, it has attained vast proportions, and its world-wide work has been signally owned and blessed. on march th mrs. muller gave birth to a son, to the great joy of his parents; and, after much prayer, they gave him the name elijah--"my god is jah"--the name itself being one of george mullers life-mottoes. up to this time the families of mr. muller and mr. craik had dwelt under one roof, but henceforth it was thought wise that they should have separate lodgings. when, at the close of , the usual backward glance was cast over the lord's leadings and dealings, mr. muller gratefully recognized the divine goodness which had thus helped him to start upon its career the work with its several departments. looking to the lord alone for light and help, he had laid the corner-stone of this "little institution"; and in october, after only seven months' existence, it had already begun to be established. in the sunday-school there were one hundred and twenty children; in the adult classes, forty; in the four day-schools, two hundred and nine boys and girls; four hundred and eighty-two bibles and five hundred and twenty testaments had been put into circulation, and fifty-seven pounds had been spent in aid of missionary operations. during these seven months the lord had sent, in answer to prayer, over one hundred and sixty-seven pounds in money, and much blessing upon the work itself. the brothers and sisters who were in charge had likewise been given by the same prayer-hearing god, in direct response to the cry of need and the supplication of faith. meanwhile another _object_ was coming into greater prominence before the mind and heart of mr. muller: it was the thought of _making some permanent provision for fatherless and motherless children._ an orphan boy who had been in the school had been taken to the poorhouse, no longer able to attend on account of extreme poverty; and this little incident set mr. muller thinking and praying about orphans. could not something be done to meet the temporal and spiritual wants of this class of very poor children? unconsciously to himself, god had set a seed in his soul, and was watching and watering it. the idea of a definite orphan work had taken root within him, and, like any other living germ, it was springing up and growing, he knew not how. as yet it was only in the blade, but in time there would come the ear and the full-grown corn in the ear, the new seed of a larger harvest. meanwhile the church was growing. in these two and a half years over two hundred had been added, making the total membership two hundred and fifty-seven; but the enlargement of the work generally neither caused the church life to be neglected nor any one department of duty to suffer declension--a very noticeable fact in this history. the point to which we have now come is one of double interest and importance, as at once a point of arrival and of departure. the work of god's chosen servant may be considered as fairly if not fully inaugurated _in all its main forms of service._ he himself is in his thirtieth year, the age when his divine master began to be fully manifest to the world and to go about doing good. through the preparatory steps and stages leading up to his complete mission and ministry to the church and the world, christ's humble disciple has likewise been brought, and his fuller career of usefulness now begins, with the various agencies in operation whereby for more than threescore years he was to show both proof and example of what god can do through one man who is willing to be simply the instrument for him to work with. nothing is more marked in george muller, to the very day of his death, than this, that he so looked to god and leaned on god that he felt himself to be nothing, and god everything. he sought to be always and in all things surrendered as a passive tool to the will and hand of the master workman. this point of arrival and of departure is also a point of _prospect._ here, halting and looking backward, we may take in at a glance the various successive steps and stages of preparation whereby the lord had made his servant ready for the sphere of service to which he called, and for which he fitted him. one has only, from this height, to look over the ten years that were past, to see beyond dispute or doubt the divine design that lay back of george mullers life, and to feel an awe of the god who thus chooses and shapes, and then uses, his vessels of service. it will be well, even if it involves some repetition, to pass in review the more important steps in the process by which the divine potter had shaped his vessel for his purpose, educating and preparing george muller for his work. . first of all, his _conversion._ in the most unforeseen manner and at the most unexpected time god led him to turn from the error of his way, and brought him to a saving knowledge of jesus christ. . next, his _missionary spirit._ that consuming flame was kindled within him which, when it is fanned by the spirit and fed by the fuel of facts, inclines to unselfish service and makes one willing to go wherever, and to do whatever, the lord will. . next, his _renunciation of self._ in more than one instance he was enabled to give up for christ's sake an earthly attachment that was idolatrous, because it was a hindrance to his full obedience and single-eyed loyalty to his heavenly master. . then his _taking counsel of god._ early in his christian life he formed the habit, in things great and small, of ascertaining the will of the lord before taking action, asking guidance in every matter, through the word and the spirit. . his humble and _childlike temper._ the father drew his child to himself, imparting to him the simple mind that asks believingly and trusts confidently, and the filial spirit that submits to fatherly counsel and guidance. . his _method of preaching._ under this same divine tuition he early learned how to preach the word, in simple dependence on the spirit of god, studying the scriptures in the original and expounding them without wisdom of words. . his _cutting loose from man._ step by step, all dependence on man or appeals to man for pecuniary support were abandoned, together with all borrowing, running into debt, stated salary, etc. his eyes were turned to god alone as the provider. . his _satisfaction in the word._ as knowledge of the scriptures grew, love for the divine oracles increased, until all other books, even of a religious sort, lost their charms in comparison with god's own text-book, as explained and illumined by the divine interpreter. . his _thorough bible study._ few young men have ever been led to such a systematic search into the treasures of god's truth. he read the book of god through and through, fixing its teachings on his mind by meditation and translating them into practice. . his _freedom from human control._ he felt the need of independence of man in order to complete dependence on god, and boldly broke all fetters that hindered his liberty in preaching, in teaching, or in following the heavenly guide and serving the heavenly master. . his _use of opportunity._ he felt the value of souls, and he formed habits of approaching others as to matters of salvation, even in public conveyances. by a word of witness, a tract, a humble example, he sought constantly to lead some one to christ. . his _release from civil obligations._ this was purely providential. in a strange way god set him free from all liability to military service, and left him free to pursue his heavenly calling as his soldier, without entanglement in the affairs of this life. . his _companions in service._ two most efficient coworkers were divinely provided: first his brother craik so like-minded with himself, and secondly, his wife, so peculiarly god's gift, both of them proving great aids in working and in bearing burdens of responsibility. . his _view of the lord's coming._ he thanked god for unveiling to him that great truth, considered by him as second to no other in its influence upon his piety and usefulness; and in the light of it he saw clearly the purpose of this gospel age, to be not to convert the world but to call out from it a believing church as christ's bride. . his _waiting on god for a message._ for every new occasion he asked of him a word in season; then a mode of treatment, and unction in delivery; and, in godly simplicity and sincerity, with the demonstration of the spirit, he aimed to reach the hearers. . his submission to the _authority of the word._ in the light of the holy oracles he reviewed all customs, however ancient, and all traditions of men, however popular, submitted all opinions and practices to the test of scripture, and then, regardless of consequences, walked according to any new light god gave him. . his _pattern of church life._ from his first entrance upon pastoral work, he sought to lead others only by himself following the shepherd and bishop of souls. he urged the assembly of believers to conform in all things to new testament models so far as they could be clearly found in the word, and thus reform all existing abuses. . his _stress upon voluntary offerings._ while he courageously gave up all fixed salary for himself, he taught that all the work of god should be maintained by the freewill gifts of believers, and that pew-rents promote invidious distinctions among saints. . his _surrender of all earthly possessions._ both himself and his wife literally sold all they had and gave alms, henceforth to live by the day, hoarding no money even against a time of future need, sickness, old age, or any other possible crisis of want. . his habit of _secret prayer._ he learned so to prize closet communion with god that he came to regard it as his highest duty and privilege. to him nothing could compensate for the lack or loss of that fellowship with god and meditation on his word which are the support of all spiritual life. . his _jealousy of his testimony._ in taking oversight of a congregation he took care to guard himself from all possible interference with fulness and freedom of utterance and of service. he could not brook any restraints upon his speech or action that might compromise his allegiance to the lord or his fidelity to man. . his _organizing of work._ god led him to project a plan embracing several departments of holy activity, such as the spreading of the knowledge of the word of god everywhere, and the encouraging of world-wide evangelization and the christian education of the young; and to guard the new institution from all dependence on worldly patronage, methods, or appeals. . his _sympathy with orphans._ his loving heart had been drawn out toward poverty and misery everywhere, but especially in the case of destitute children bereft of both parents; and familiarity with francke's work at halle suggested similar work at bristol. . beside all these steps of preparation, he had been guided by the lord from his birthplace in prussia to london, teignmouth, and bristol in britain, and thus the chosen vessel, shaped for its great use, had by the same divine hand been borne to the very place where it was to be of such signal service in testimony to the living god. surely no candid observer can survey this course of divine discipline and preparation, and remember how brief was the period of time it covers, being less than ten years, and mark the many distinct steps by which this education for a life of service was made singularly complete, without a feeling of wonder and awe. every prominent feature, afterward to appear conspicuous in the career of this servant of god, was anticipated in the training whereby he was fitted for his work and introduced to it. we have had a vivid vision of the divine potter sitting at his wheel, taking the clay in his hands, softening its hardness, subduing it to his own will; then gradually and skilfully shaping from it the earthen vessel; then baking it in his oven of discipline till it attained the requisite solidity and firmness, then filling it with the rich treasures of his word and spirit, and finally setting it down where he would have it serve his special uses in conveying to others the excellency of his power! to lose sight of this sovereign shaping hand is to miss one of the main lessons god means to teach us by george muller's whole career. he himself saw and felt that he was only an earthen vessel; that god had both chosen and filled him for the work he was to do; and, while this conviction made him happy in his work, it made him humble, and the older he grew the humbler he became. he felt more and more his own utter insufficiency. it grieved him that human eyes should ever turn away from the master to the servant, and he perpetually sought to avert their gaze from himself to god alone. "for of him, and through him, and to him are all things--to whom be glory for ever and ever. amen." there are several important episodes in mr. muller's history which may be lightly passed by, because not so characteristic of him as that they might not have been common to many others, and therefore not constituting features so distinguishing this life from others as to make it a special lesson to believers. for example, early in he made a visit to germany upon a particular errand. he went to aid mr. groves, who had come from the east indies to get missionary recruits, and who asked help of him, as of one knowing the language of the country, in setting the claims of india before german brethren, and pleading for its unsaved millions. when mr. muller went to the alien office in london to get a passport, he found that, through ignorance, he had broken the law which required every alien semi-annually to renew his certificate of residence, under penalty of fifty pounds fine or imprisonment. he confessed to the officer his non-compliance, excusing himself only on the ground of ignorance, and trusted all consequences with god, who graciously inclined the officer to pass over his non-compliance with the law. another hindrance which still interfered with obtaining his passport, was also removed in answer to prayer; so that at the outset he was much impressed with the lord's sanction of his undertaking. his sojourn abroad continued for nearly two months, during which time he was at paris, strasburg, basle, tubingen, wurtemberg, sehaffhausen, stuttgart, halle, sandersleben, aschersleben, heimersleben, halberstadt, and hamburg. at halle, calling on dr. tholuck after seven years of separation, he was warmly welcomed and constrained to lodge at his house. from dr. tholuck he heard many delightful incidents as to former fellow students who had been turned to the lord from impious paths, or had been strengthened in their christian faith and devotion. he also visited francke's orphan houses, spending an evening in the very room where god's work of grace had begun in his heart, and meeting again several of the same little company of believers that in those days had prayed together. he likewise gave everywhere faithful witness to the lord. while at his father's house the way was opened for him to bear testimony indirectly to his father and brother. he had found that a direct approach to his father upon the subject of his soul's salvation only aroused his anger, and he therefore judged that it was wiser to refrain from a course which would only repel one whom he desired to win. an unconverted friend of his father was visiting him at this time, before whom he put the truth very frankly and fully, in the presence of both his father and brother, and thus quite as effectively gave witness to them also. but he was especially moved to pray that he might by his whole life bear witness at his home, manifesting his love for his kindred and his own joy in god, his satisfaction in christ, and his utter indifference to all former fascinations of a worldly and sinful life, through the supreme attraction he found in him; for this, he felt sure, would have far more influence than any mere words: our walk counts for more than our talk, always. the effect was most happy. god so helped the son to live before the father that, just before his leaving for england, he said to him: "my son, may god help me to follow your example, and to act according to what you have said to me!" on june , , mr. muller's father-in-law, mr. groves, died; and both of his own children were very ill, and four days later little elijah was taken. both parents had been singularly prepared for these bereavements, and were divinely upheld. they had felt no liberty in prayer for the child's recovery, dear as he was; and grandfather and grandson were laid in one grave. henceforth mr. and mrs. muller were to have no son, and lydia was to remain their one and only child. about the middle of the following month, mr. muller was quite disabled from work by weakness of the chest, which made necessary rest and change. the lord tenderly provided for his need through those whose hearts he touched, leading them to offer him and his wife hospitalities in the isle of wight, while at the same time money was sent him which was designated for 'a change of air.' on his thirtieth birthday, in connection with specially refreshing communion with god, and for the first time since his illness, there was given him a spirit of believing prayer for his own recovery; and his strength so rapidly grew that by the middle of october he was back in bristol. it was just before this, on the ninth of the same month, that _the reading of john newton's life stirred him up to bear a similar witness to the lord's dealings with himself._ truly there are no little things in our life, since what seems to be trivial may be the means of bringing about results of great consequence. this is the second time that a chance reading of a book had proved a turning-point with george muller. franke's life stirred his heart to begin an orphan work, and newton's life suggested the narrative of the lord's dealings. to what is called an accident are owing, under god, those pages of his life-journal which read like new chapters in the acts of the apostles, and will yet be so widely read, and so largely used of god. chapter ix the growth of god's own plant the last great step of full entrance upon mr. muller's life-service was the _founding of the orphan work,_ a step so important and so prominent that even the lesser particulars leading to it have a strange significance and fascination. in the year , on november th, in taking tea at the house of a christian sister, he again saw a copy of francke's life. for no little time he had thought of like labours, though on no such scale, nor in mere imitation of francke, but under a sense of similar divine leading. this impression had grown into a conviction, and the conviction had blossomed into a resolution which now rapidly ripened into corresponding action. he was emboldened to take this forward step in sole reliance on god, by the fact that at that very time, in answer to prayer, ten pounds more had been sent him than he had asked for other existing work, as though god gave him a token of both willingness and readiness to supply all needs. nothing is more worthy of imitation, perhaps, than the uniformly deliberate, self-searching, and prayerful way in which he set about any work which he felt led to undertake. it was preeminently so in attempting this new form of service, the future growth of which was not then even in his thought. in daily prayer he sought as in his master's presence to sift from the pure grain of a godly purpose to glorify him, all the chaff of selfish and carnal motives, to get rid of every taint of worldly self-seeking or lust of applause, and to bring every thought into captivity to the lord. he constantly probed his own heart to discover the secret and subtle impulses which are unworthy of a true servant of god; and, believing that a spiritually minded brother often helps one to an insight into his own heart, he spoke often to his brother craik about his plans, praying god to use him as a means of exposing any unworthy motive, or of suggesting any scriptural objections to his project. his honest aim being to please god, he yearned to know his own heart, and welcomed any light which revealed his real self and prevented a mistake. mr. craik so decidedly encouraged him, and further prayer so confirmed previous impressions of god's guidance, that on december , , the _first formal step was taken_ in ordering printed bills announcing a public meeting for the week following, when the proposal to open an orphan house was to be laid before brethren, and further light to be sought unitedly as to the mind of the lord. three days later, in reading the psalms, he was struck with these nine words: "open thy mouth wide, and i will fill it." (psalm lxxxi. .) from that moment this text formed one of his great life-mottoes, and this promise became a power in moulding all his work. hitherto he had not prayed for the supply of money or of helpers, but he was now led to apply this scripture confidently to this new plan, and at once boldly to ask _for premises, and for one thousand pounds in money, and for suitable helpers to take charge of the children._ two days after, he received, in furtherance of his work, the _first gift of money--one shilling_--and within two days more the _first donation in furniture_--a large wardrobe. the day came for the memorable public meeting--december th. during the interval satan had been busy hurling at mr. muller his fiery darts, and he was very low in spirit. he was taking a step not to be retraced without both much humiliation to himself and reproach to his master: and what if it were a _misstep_ and he were moving without real guidance from above! but as soon as he began to speak, help was given him. he was borne up on the everlasting arms, and had the assurance that the work was of the lord. he cautiously avoided all appeals to the transient feelings of his hearers, and took no collection, desiring all these first steps to be calmly taken, and every matter carefully and prayerfully weighed before a decision. excitement of emotion or kindlings of enthusiasm might obscure the vision and hinder clear apprehension of the mind of god. after the meeting there was a voluntary gift of ten shillings, and one sister offered herself for the work. the next morning a statement concerning the new orphan work was put in print, and on january , , a supplementary statement appeared.* * appendix e. narrative : - , - , , . at every critical point mr. muller is entitled to explain his own views and actions; and the work he was now undertaking is so vitally linked with his whole after-life that it should here have full mention. as to his proposed orphan house he gives three chief reasons for its establishment: . that god may be glorified in so furnishing the means as to show that it is not a vain thing to trust in him. . that the spiritual welfare of fatherless and motherless children may be promoted. . that their temporal good may be secured. he had frequent reminders in his pastoral labours that the _faith of god's children greatly needed strengthening;_ and he longed to have some visible proof to point to, that the heavenly father is the same faithful promiser and provider as ever, and as willing to prove himself the living god to _all who put their trust in him,_ and that even in their old age he does not forsake those who rely only upon him. remembering the great blessing that had come to himself through the work of faith of francke, he judged that he was bound to serve the church of christ _in being able to take god at his word and rely upon it._ if he, a poor man, _without asking any one but god,_ could get means to carry on an orphan house, it would be seen that god is faithful still and still hears prayer. while the orphan work was to be a branch of the scriptural knowledge institution, only those funds were to be applied thereto which should be expressly given for that purpose; and it would be carried on only so far and so fast as the lord should provide both money and helpers. it was proposed to receive only such children as had been bereft of both parents, and to take in such from their seventh to their twelfth year, though later on younger orphans were admitted; and to bring up the boys for a trade, and the girls for service, and to give them all a plain education likely to fit them for their life-work. so soon as the enterprise was fairly launched, the lord's power and will to provide began at once and increasingly to appear; and, from this point on, the journal is one long record of man's faith and supplication and of god's faithfulness and interposition. it only remains to note the new steps in advance which mark the growth of the work, and the new straits which arise and how they are met, together with such questions and perplexing crises as from time to time demand and receive a new divine solution. a foremost need was that of able and suitable helpers, which only god could supply. in order fully to carry out his plans, mr. muller felt that he must have men and women like-minded, who would naturally care for the state of the orphans and of the work. if one achan could disturb the whole camp of israel, and one ananias or saphira, the whole church of christ, one faithless, prayerless, self-seeking assistant would prove not a helper but a hinderer both to the work itself and to all fellow-workers. no step was therefore hastily taken. he had patiently waited on god hitherto, and he now waited to receive at his hands his own chosen servants to join in this service and give to it unity of plan and spirit. before he called, the lord answered. as early as december th a brother and sister had willingly offered themselves, and the spirit that moved them will appear in the language of their letter: "we propose ourselves for the service of the intended orphan house, if you think us qualified for it; also to give up all the furniture, etc., which the lord has given us, for its use; and to do this without receiving any salary whatever; believing that, if it be the will of the lord to employ us, he will supply all our need." other similar self-giving followed, proving that god's people are willing in the day of his power. he who wrought in his servant to will and to work, sent helpers to share his burdens, and to this day has met all similar needs out of his riches in glory. there has never yet been any lack of competent, cheerful, and devoted helpers, although the work so rapidly expanded and extended. the gifts whereby the work was supported need a separate review that many lessons of interest may find a record. but it should here be noted that, among the first givers, was a poor needlewoman who brought the surprising sum of one hundred pounds, the singular self-denial and whole-hearted giving exhibited making this a peculiarly sacred offering and a token of god's favour. there was a felt significance in his choice of a poor sickly seamstress as his instrument for laying the foundations for this great work. he who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will, passing by the rich, mighty, and noble somethings of this world, chose again the poor, weak, base, despised nothings, that no flesh should glory in his presence. for work among orphans a house was needful, and for this definite prayer was offered; and april , , was fixed as the date for opening such house for female orphans, as the most helplessly destitute. the building, no. wilson street, where mr. muller had himself lived up to march th, having been rented for one year, was formally opened april st, the day being set apart for prayer and praise. the public generally were informed that the way was open to receive needy applicants, and the intimation was further made on may th that it was intended shortly to open a second house for infant children--both boys and girls. we now retrace our steps a little to take special notice of a fact in mr. muller's experience which, in point of time, belongs earlier. though he had brought before the lord even the most minute details about his plans for the proposed orphan work and house and helpers, asking in faith for building and furnishing, money for rent and other expenses, etc., he confesses that he had never once asked the lord to send the orphans! this seems an unaccountable omission; but the fact is he had assumed that there would be applications in abundance. his surprise and chagrin cannot easily be imagined, when the appointed time came for receiving applications, february rd, and _not one application was made!_ everything was ready _except the orphans._ this led to the deepest humiliation before god. all the evening of that day he literally lay on his face, probing his own heart to read his own motives, and praying god to search him and show him his mind. he was thus brought so low that from his heart he could say that, if god would thereby be more glorified, he would rejoice in the fact that his whole scheme should come to nothing. the very _next day_ the first application was made for admission; on april th orphans began to be admitted; and by may th there were in the house twenty-six, and more daily expected. several applications being made for children _under seven,_ the conclusion was reached that, while vacancies were left, the limit of years at first fixed should not be adhered to; but every new step was taken with care and prayer, that it should not be in the energy of the flesh, or in the wisdom of man, but in the power and wisdom of the spirit. how often we forget that solemn warning of the holy ghost, that even when our whole work is not imperilled by a false beginning, but is well laid upon a true foundation, we may carelessly build into it wood, hay, and stubble, which will be burned up in the fiery ordeal that is to try every man's work of what sort it is! the first house had scarcely been opened for girls when the way for the second was made plain, suitable premises being obtained at no. in the same street, and a well-fitted matron being given in answer to prayer. on november th, some seven months after the opening of the first, this second house was opened. some of the older and abler girls from the first house were used for the domestic work of the second, partly to save hired help, and partly to accustom them to working for others and thus give a proper dignity to what is sometimes despised as a degrading and menial form of service. by april , , there were in each house thirty orphan children. the founder of this orphan work, who had at the first asked for one thousand pounds of god, tells us that, in his own mind, the thing was _as good as done,_ so that he often gave thanks for this large sum as though already in hand. (mark xi. ; john v. , .) this habit of counting a promise as fulfilled had much to do with the triumphs of his faith and the success of his labour. now that the first part of his narrative of the lord's dealings was about to issue from the press, he felt that it would much honour the master whom he served _if the entire amount should be actually in hand before the narrative should appear, and without any one having been asked to contribute._ he therefore gave himself anew to prayer; and on june th the whole sum was complete, no appeal having been made but to the living god, before whom, as he records with his usual mathematical precision, he had daily brought his petition for _eighteen months and ten days._ in closing this portion of his narrative he hints at a proposed further enlargement of the work in a third house for orphan boys above seven years, with accommodations for about forty. difficulties interposed, but as usual disappeared before the power of prayer. meanwhile the whole work of the scriptural knowledge institution prospered, four day-schools having been established, with over one thousand pupils, and more than four thousand copies of the word of god having been distributed. george muller was careful always to consult and then to obey conviction. hence his moral sense, by healthy exercise, more and more clearly discerned good and evil. this conscientiousness was seen in the issue of the first edition of his narrative. when the first five hundred copies came from the publishers, he was so weighed down by misgivings that he hesitated to distribute them. notwithstanding the spirit of prayer with which he had begun, continued, and ended the writing of it and had made every correction in the proof; notwithstanding the motive, consciously cherished throughout, that god's glory might be promoted in this record of his faithfulness, he reopened with himself the whole question whether this published narrative might not turn the eyes of men from the great master workman to his human instrument. as he opened the box containing the reports, he felt strongly tempted to withhold from circulation the pamphlets it held; but from the moment when he gave out the first copy, and the step could not be retraced, his scruples were silenced. he afterward saw his doubts and misgivings to have been a temptation of satan, and never thenceforth questioned that in writing, printing, and distributing this and the subsequent parts of the narrative he had done the will of god. so broad and clear was the divine seal set upon it in the large blessing it brought to many and widely scattered persons that no room was left for doubt. it may be questioned whether any like journal has been as widely read and as remarkably used, both in converting sinners and in quickening saints. proofs of this will hereafter abundantly appear. it was in the year that mr. muller, then in his thirty-second year, felt with increasingly deep conviction that to his own growth in grace, godliness, and power for service _two things_ were quite indispensable: first, more _retirement for secret communion with god,_ even at the apparent expense of his public work; and second, ampler provision for the _spiritual oversight of the flock of god,_ the total number of communicants now being near to four hundred. the former of these convictions has an emphasis which touches every believer's life at its vital centre. george muller was conscious of being too busy to pray as he ought. his outward action was too constant for inward reflection, and he saw that there was risk of losing peace and power, and that activity even in the most sacred sphere must not be so absorbing as to prevent holy meditation on the word and fervent supplication. the lord said first to elijah, "go, hide thyself"; then, "go, show thyself." he who does not first hide himself in the secret place to be alone with god, is unfit to show himself in the public place to move among men. mr. muller afterward used to say to brethren who had "too much to do" to spend proper time with god, that four hours of work for which one hour of prayer prepares, is better than five hours of work with the praying left out; that our service to our master is more acceptable and our mission to man more profitable, when saturated with the moisture of god's blessing--the dew of the spirit. whatever is gained in quantity is lost in quality whenever one engagement follows another without leaving proper intervals for refreshment and renewal of strength by waiting on god. no man, perhaps, since john wesley has accomplished so much even in a long life as george muller; yet few have ever withdrawn so often or so long into the pavilion of prayer. in fact, from one point of view his life seems more given to supplication and intercession than to mere action or occupation among men. at the same time he felt that the curacy of souls must not be neglected by reason of his absorption in either work or prayer. both believers and inquirers needed pastoral oversight; neither himself nor his brother craik had time enough for visiting so large a flock, many of whom were scattered over the city; and about fifty new members were added every year who had special need of teaching and care. again, as there were two separate congregations, the number of meetings was almost doubled; and the interruptions of visitors from near and far, the burdens of correspondence, and the oversight of the lord's work generally, consumed so much time that even with two pastors the needs of the church could not be met. at a meeting of both congregations in october, these matters were frankly brought before the believers, and it was made plain that other helpers should be provided, and the two churches so united as to lessen the number of separate meetings. in october, , a building was secured for a third orphan house, for boys; but as the neighbours strongly opposed its use as a charitable institution, mr muller, with meekness of spirit, at once relinquished all claim upon the premises, being mindful of the maxim of scripture: "as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." (rom. xiii. .) he felt sure that the lord would provide, and his faith was rewarded in the speedy supply of a building in the same street where the other two houses were. infirmity of the flesh again tried the faith and patience of mr. muller. for eight weeks he was kept out of the pulpit. the strange weakness in the head, from which he had suffered before and which at times seemed to threaten his reason, forced him to rest; and in november he went to bath and weston-super-mare, leaving to higher hands the work to which he was unequal. one thing he noticed and recorded: that, even during this head trouble, prayer and bible-reading could be borne better than anything else. he concluded that whenever undue carefulness is expended on the body, it is very hard to avoid undue carelessness as to the soul; and that it is therefore much safer comparatively to disregard the body, that one may give himself wholly to the culture of his spiritual health and the care of the lord's work. though some may think that in this he ran to a fanatical extreme, there is no doubt that such became more and more a law of his life. he sought to dismiss all anxiety, as a duty; and, among other anxious cares, that most subtle and seductive form of solicitude which watches every change of symptoms and rushes after some new medical man or medical remedy for all ailments real or fancied. mr. muller was never actually reckless of his bodily health. his habits were temperate and wholesome, but no man could be so completely wrapped up in his master's will and work without being correspondingly forgetful of his physical frame. there are not a few, even among god's saints, whose bodily weaknesses and distresses so engross them that their sole business seems to be to nurse the body, keep it alive and promote its comfort. as dr. watts would have said, this is living "at a poor dying rate." when the year opened, the weakness and distress in the head still afflicted mr. muller. the symptoms were as bad as ever, and it particularly tried him that they were attended by a tendency to irritability of temper, and even by a sort of satanic feeling wholly foreign to him at other times. he was often reminded that he was by nature a child of wrath even as others, and that, as a child of god, he could stand against the wiles of the devil only by putting on the whole armour of god. the pavilion of god is the saint's place of rest; the panoply of god is his coat of mail. grace does not at once remove or overcome all tendencies to evil, but, if not _eradicated,_ they are _counteracted_ by the spirit's wondrous working. peter found that so long as his eye was on his master he could walk on the water. there is always a tendency to sink, and a holy walk with god, that defies the tendency downward, is a divine art that can neither be learned nor practised except so long as we keep 'looking unto jesus': that look of faith counteracts the natural tendency to sink, so long as it holds the soul closely to him. this man of god felt his risk, and, sore as this trial was to him, he prayed not so much for its removal as that he might be kept from any open dishonour to the name of the lord, beseeching god that he might rather die than ever bring on him reproach. mr. muller's journal is not only a record of his outer life of consecrated labour and its expansion, but it is a mirror of his inner life and its growth. it is an encouragement to all other saints to find that this growth was, like their own, in spite of many and formidable hindrances, over which only grace could triumph. side by side with glimpses of habitual conscientiousness and joy in god, we have revelations of times of coldness and despondency. it is a wholesome lesson in holy living that we find this man setting himself to the deliberate task of _cultivating obedience and gratitude;_ by the culture of obedience growing in knowledge and strength, and by the culture of gratitude growing in thankfulness and love. weakness and coldness are not hopeless states: they have their divine remedies which strengthen and warm the whole being. three entries, found side by side in his journal, furnish pertinent illustration and most wholesome instruction on this point. one entry records his deep thankfulness to god for the privilege of being permitted to be his instrument in providing for homeless orphans, as he watches the little girls, clad in clean warm garments, pass his window on their way to the chapel on the lord's day morning. a second entry records his determination, with god's help, to send no more letters in parcels because he sees it to be a violation of the postal laws of the land, and because he desires, as a disciple of the lord jesus, to submit himself to all human laws so far as such submission does not conflict with loyalty to god. a third entry immediately follows which reveals this same man struggling against those innate tendencies to evil which compel a continual resort to the throne of grace with its sympathizing high priest. "this morning," he writes, "i greatly dishonoured the lord by irritability manifested towards my dear wife; and that, almost immediately after i had been on my knees before god, praising him for having given me such a wife." these three entries, put together, convey a lesson which is not learned from either of them alone. here is gratitude for divine mercy, conscientious resolve at once to stop a doubtful practice, and a confession of inconsistency in his home life. all of these are typical experiences and suggest to us means of gracious growth. he who lets no mercy of god escape thankful recognition, who never hesitates at once to abandon an evil or questionable practice, and who, instead of extenuating a sin because it is comparatively small, promptly confesses and forsakes it,--such a man will surely grow in christlikeness. we must exercise our spiritual senses if we are to discern things spiritual. there is a clear vision for god's goodness, and there is a dull eye that sees little to be thankful for; there is a tender conscience, and there is a moral sense that grows less and less sensitive to evil; there is an obedience to the spirit's rebuke which leads to immediate confession and increases strength for every new conflict. mr. muller cultivated habits of life which made his whole nature more and more open to divine impression, and so his sense of god became more and more keen and constant. one great result of this spiritual culture was a growing absorption in god and jealousy for his glory. as he saw divine things more clearly and felt their supreme importance, he became engrossed in the magnifying of them before men; and this is glorifying god. we cannot make god essentially any more glorious, for he is infinitely perfect; but we can help men to see what a glorious god he is, and thus come into that holy partnership with the spirit of god whose office it is to take of the things of christ and show them unto men, and so glorify christ. such fellowship in glorifying god mr. muller set before him: and in the light of such sanctified aspiration we may read that humble entry in which, reviewing the year with all its weight of increasing responsibility, he lifts his heart to his divine lord and master in these simple words: "lord, thy servant is a poor man; but he has trusted in thee and made his boast in thee before the sons of men; therefore let him not be confounded! let it not be said, 'all this is enthusiasm, and therefore it is come to naught.'" one is reminded of moses in his intercession for israel, of elijah in his exceeding jealousy for the lord of hosts, and of that prayer of jeremiah that so amazes us by its boldness: "do not abhor us for thy name's sake! _do not disgrace the throne of thy glory!"_* * comp. numbers xiv. - ; kings xix. ; jer. xiv. . looking back over the growth of the work at the end of the year , he puts on record the following facts and figures: three orphan houses were now open with eighty-one children, and nine helpers in charge of them. in the sunday-schools there were three hundred and twenty, and in the day-schools three hundred and fifty; and the lord had furnished over three hundred and seven pounds for temporal supplies. from this same point of view it may be well to glance back over the five years of labour in bristol up to july, . between himself and his brother craik uninterrupted harmony had existed from the beginning. they had been perfectly at one in their views of the truth, in their witness to the truth, and in their judgment as to all matters affecting the believers over whom the holy ghost had made them overseers. the children of god had been kept from heresy and schism under their joint pastoral care; and all these blessings mr. muller and his true yoke-fellow humbly traced to the mercy and grace of the great shepherd and bishop of souls. thus far over one hundred and seventy had been converted and admitted to fellowship, making the total number of communicants three hundred and seventy, nearly equally divided between bethesda and gideon. the whole history of these years is lit up with the sunlight of god's smile and blessing. chapter x the word of god and prayer habit both _shows_ and _makes_ the man, for it is at once historic and prophetic, the mirror of the man as he is and the mould of the man as he is to be. at this point, therefore, special attention may properly be given to the two marked habits which had principally to do with the man we are studying. early in the year , he began reading that third biography which, with those of francke and john newton, had such a singular influence on his own life--philip's life of george whitefield. the life-story of the orphan's friend had given the primary impulse to his work; the life-story of the converted blasphemer had suggested his narrative of the lord's dealings; and now the life-story of the great evangelist was blessed of god to shape his general character and give new power to his preaching and his wider ministry to souls. these three biographies together probably affected the whole inward and outward life of george muller more than any other volumes but the book of god, and they were wisely fitted of god to co-work toward such a blessed result. the example of francke incited to faith in prayer and to a work whose sole dependence was on god. newton's witness to grace led to a testimony to the same sovereign love and mercy as seen in his own case. whitefield's experience inspired to greater fidelity and earnestness in preaching the word, and to greater confidence in the power of the anointing spirit. particularly was this impression deeply made on mr. muller's mind and heart: that whitefield's unparalleled success in evangelistic labours was plainly traceable to two causes and could not be separated from them as direct effects; namely, his _unusual prayerfulness, and his habit of reading the bible on his knees._ the great evangelist of the last century had learned that first lesson in service, his own utter nothingness and helplessness: that he was nothing, and could do nothing, without god. he could neither understand the word for himself, nor translate it into his own life, nor apply it to others with power, unless the holy spirit became to him both _insight_ and _unction._ hence his success; he was filled with the spirit: and this alone accounts both for the quality and the quantity of his labours. he died in , in the fifty-sixth year of his age, having preached his first sermon in gloucester in . during this thirty-four years his labours had been both unceasing and untiring. while on his journeyings in america, he preached one hundred and seventy-five times in seventy-five days, besides travelling, in the slow vehicles of those days, upwards of eight hundred miles. when health declined, and he was put on 'short allowance,' even that was _one sermon each week-day and three on sunday._ there was about his preaching, moreover, a nameless charm which held thirty thousand hearers half-breathless on boston common and made tears pour down the sooty faces of the colliers at kingswood. the passion of george muller's soul was to know fully the secrets of prevailing with god and with man. george whitefield's life drove home the truth that god alone could create in him a holy earnestness to win souls and qualify him for such divine work by imparting a compassion for the lost that should become an absorbing passion for their salvation. and--let this be carefully marked as another secret of this life of service--_he now began himself to read the word of god upon his knees,_ and often found for hours great blessing in such meditation and prayer over a single psalm or chapter. here we stop and ask what profit there can be in thus prayerfully reading and searching the scriptures in the very attitude of prayer. having tried it for ourselves, we may add our humble witness to its value. first of all, this habit is a constant reminder and recognition of the need of spiritual teaching in order to the understanding of the holy oracles. no reader of god's word can thus bow before god and his open book, without a feeling of new reverence for the scriptures, and dependence on their author for insight into their mysteries. the attitude of worship naturally suggests sober-mindedness and deep seriousness, and banishes frivolity. to treat that book with lightness or irreverence would be doubly profane when one is in the posture of prayer. again, such a habit naturally leads to self-searching and comparison of the actual life with the example and pattern shown in the word. the precept compels the practice to be seen in the light of its teaching; the command challenges the conduct to appear for examination. the prayer, whether spoken or unspoken, will inevitably be: "search me, o god, and know my heart, try me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" (psalm cxxxix. , .) the words thus reverently read will be translated into the life and mould the character into the image of god. "beholding as in a glass the glory of the lord, we are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the lord the spirit."* * cor. iii. . but perhaps the greatest advantage will be that the holy scriptures will thus suggest the very words which become the dialect of prayer. "we know not what we should pray for as we ought"--neither what nor how to pray. but here is the spirit's own inspired utterance, and, if the praying be moulded on the model of his teaching, how can we go astray? here is our god-given liturgy and litany--a divine prayer-book. we have here god's promises, precepts, warnings, and counsels, not to speak of all the spirit-inspired literal prayers therein contained; and, as we reflect upon these, our prayers take their cast in this matrix. we turn precept and promise, warning and counsel into supplication, with the assurance that we cannot be asking anything that is not according to his will,* for are we not turning his own word into prayer? * john v. . so mr. muller found it to be. in meditating over hebrews xiii. : "jesus christ the same yesterday and to-day and for ever," translating it into prayer, he besought god, with the confidence that the prayer was already granted, that, as jesus had already in his love and power supplied all that was needful, in the same unchangeable love and power he would so continue to provide. and so a promise was not only turned into a prayer, but into a prophecy--an assurance of blessing--and a river of joy at once poured into and flowed through his soul. the prayer habit, on the knees, with the word open before the disciple, has thus an advantage which it is difficult to put into words: it provides a sacred channel of approach to god. the inspired scriptures form the vehicle of the spirit in communicating to us the knowledge of the will of god. if we think of god on the one side and man on the other, the word of god is the mode of conveyance from god to man, of his own mind and heart. it therefore becomes a channel of god's approach to us, a channel prepared by the spirit for the purpose, and unspeakably sacred as such. when therefore the believer uses the word of god as the guide to determine both the spirit and the dialect of his prayer, he is inverting the process of divine revelation and using the channel of god's approach to him as the channel of his approach to god. how can such use of god's word fail to help and strengthen spiritual life? what medium or channel of approach could so insure in the praying soul both an acceptable frame and language taught of the holy spirit? if the first thing is not to pray but to hearken, this surely is hearkening for god to speak to us that we may know how to speak to him. it was habits of life such as these, and not impulsive feelings and transient frames, that made this man of god what he was and strengthened him to lift up his hands in god's name, and follow hard after him and in him rejoice.* even his sore affliction, seen in the light of such prayer--prayer itself illuminated by the word of god--became radiant; and his soul was brought into that state where he so delighted in the will of god as to be able from his heart to say that he would not have his disease removed until through it god had wrought the blessing it was meant to convey. and when his acquiescence in the will of god had become thus complete he instinctively felt that he would speedily be restored to health. * psalm lxiii. , , . subsequently, in reading proverbs iii. - , he was struck with the words, "neither be _weary_ of his correction." he felt that, though he had not been permitted to "despise the chastening of the lord," he had at times been somewhat "weary of his correction," and he lifted up the prayer that he might so patiently bear it as neither to faint nor be weary under it, till its full purpose was wrought. frequent were the instances of the habit of translating promises into prayers, immediately applying the truth thus unveiled to him. for example, after prolonged meditation over the first verse of psalm lxv, _"o thou that hearest prayer,"_ he at once asked and recorded certain definite petitions. this writing down specific requests for permanent reference has a blessed influence upon the prayer habit. it assures practical and exact form for our supplications, impresses the mind and memory with what is thus asked of god, and leads naturally to the record of the answers when given, so that we accumulate evidences in our own experience that god is to us personally a prayer-hearing god, whereby unbelief is rebuked and importunity encouraged. on this occasion eight specific requests are put on record, together with the solemn conviction that, having asked in conformity with the word and will of god, and in the name of jesus, he has confidence in him that he heareth and that he has the petitions thus asked of him.* he writes: * john v. . "i believe _he has heard me._ i believe he will make it _manifest_ in his own good time _that he has heard me;_ and i have recorded these my petitions this fourteenth day of january, , that when god has answered them he may get, through this, glory to his name." the thoughtful reader must see in all this a man of weak faith, feeding and nourishing his trust in god that his faith may grow strong. he uses the promise of a prayer-hearing god as a staff to stay his conscious feebleness, that he may lean hard upon the strong word which cannot fail. he records the day when he thus takes this staff in hand, and the very petitions which are the burdens which he seeks to lay on god, so that his act of committal may be the more complete and final. could god ever dishonour such trust? it was in this devout reading on his knees that his whole soul was first deeply moved by that phrase, "a father of the fatherless." (psalm lxviii. .) he saw this to be one of those "names" of jehovah which he reveals to his people to lead them to trust in him, as it is written in psalm ix. : "they that know thy name will put their trust in thee." these five words from the sixty-eighth psalm became another of his life-texts, one of the foundation stones of all his work for the fatherless. these are his own words: "by the help of god, this shall be my argument before him, respecting the orphans, in the hour of need. he is their father, and therefore has pledged himself, as it were, to provide for them; and i have only to remind him of the need of these poor children in order to have it supplied." this is translating the promises of god's word, not only into praying, but into living, doing, serving. blessed was the hour when mr. muller learned that one of god's chosen names is "the father of the fatherless"! to sustain such burdens would have been quite impossible but for faith in such a god. in reply to oft-repeated remarks of visitors and observers who could not understand the secret of his peace, or how any man who had so many children to clothe and feed could carry such prostrating loads of care, he had one uniform reply: "by the grace of god, this is no cause of anxiety to me. these children i have years ago cast upon the lord. the whole work is his, and it becomes me to be without carefulness. in whatever points i am lacking, in this point i am able by the grace of god to roll the burden upon my heavenly father."* * journal : in tens of thousands of cases this peculiar title of god, chosen by himself and by himself declared, became to mr. muller a peculiar revelation of god, suited to his special need. the natural inferences drawn from such a title became powerful arguments in prayer, and rebukes to all unbelief. thus, at the outset of his work for the orphans, the word of god put beneath his feet a rock basis of confidence that he could trust the almighty father to support the work. and, as the solicitudes of the work came more and more heavily upon him, he cast the loads he could not carry upon him who, before george muller was born, was the father of the fatherless. about this time we meet other signs of the conflict going on in mr. mullers own soul. he could not shut his eyes to the lack of earnestness in prayer and fervency of spirit which at times seemed to rob him of both peace and power. and we notice his experience, in common with so many saints, of the _paradox_ of spiritual life. he saw that "such fervency of spirit is altogether the gift of god," and yet he adds, "i have to ascribe to myself the loss of it." he did not run divine sovereignty into blank fatalism as so many do. he saw that god must be sovereign in his gifts, and yet man must be free in his reception and rejection of them. he admitted the mystery without attempting to reconcile the apparent contradiction. he confesses also that the same book, philip's life of whitefield, which had been used of god to kindle such new fires on the altar of his heart, had been also used of satan to tempt him to neglect for its sake the systematic study of the greatest of books. thus, at every step, george mullers life is full of both encouragement and admonition to fellow disciples. while away from bristol he wrote in february, , a tender letter to the saints there, which is another revelation of the man's heart. he makes grateful mention of the mercies of god, to him, particularly his gentleness, long-suffering, and faithfulness and the lessons taught him through affliction. the letter makes plain that much sweetness is mixed in the cup of suffering, and that our privileges are not properly prized until for a time we are deprived of them. he particularly mentions how _secret prayer,_ even when reading, conversation, or prayer with others was a burden, _always brought relief to his head._ converse with the father was an indispensable source of refreshment and blessing at all times. as j. hudson taylor says "satan, the hinderer, may build a barrier about us, but he can never _roof us in,_ so that we cannot _look up."_ mr. muller also gives a valuable hint that has already been of value to many afflicted saints, that he found he could help by prayer to fight the battles of the lord even when he could not by preaching. after a short visit to germany, partly in quest of health and partly for missionary objects, and after more than twenty-two weeks of retirement from ordinary public duties, his head was much better, but his mental health allowed only about three hours of daily work. while in germany he had again seen his father and elder brother, and spoken with them about their salvation. to his father his words brought apparent blessing, for he seemed at least to feel his lack of the one thing needful. the separation from him was the more painful as there was so little hope that they should meet again on earth. in may he once more took part in public services in bristol, a period of six months having elapsed since he had previously done so. his head was still weak, but there seemed no loss of mental power. about three months after he had been in germany part of the fruits of his visit were gathered, for twelve brothers and three sisters sailed for the east indies. on june , , mrs. muller gave birth to a stillborn babe,--another parental disappointment,--and for more than a fortnight her life hung in the balance. but once more prayer prevailed for her and her days were prolonged. one month later another trial of faith confronted them in the orphan work. a twelvemonth previous there were in hand seven hundred and eighty pounds; now that sum was reduced to one thirty-ninth of the amount--twenty pounds. mr. and mrs. muller, with mr. craik and one other brother, connected with the boys' orphan house, were the only four persons who were permitted to know of the low state of funds; and they gave themselves to united prayer. and let it be carefully observed that mr. muller testifies that his own faith was kept even stronger than when the larger sum was on hand a year before; and this faith was no mere fancy, for, although the supply was so low and shortly thirty pounds would be needed, notice was given for seven more children to enter, and it was further proposed to announce readiness to receive five others! the trial-hour had come, but was not past. less than two months later the money-supply ran so low that it was needful that the lord should give _by the day and almost by the hour_ if the needs were to be met. in answer to prayer for help god seemed to say, "mine hour is not yet come." many pounds would shortly be required, toward which there was not one penny in hand. when, one day, over four pounds came in, the thought occurred to mr. muller, "why not lay aside three pounds against the coming need?" but immediately he remembered that it is written: "sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."* he unhesitatingly cast himself upon god, and paid out the whole amount for salaries then due, leaving himself again penniless. * matt. vi. . at this time mr. craik was led to read a sermon on abraham, from genesis xii, making prominent two facts: first, that so long as he acted in faith and walked in the will of god, all went on well; but that, secondly, so far as he distrusted the lord and disobeyed him, all ended in failure. mr. muller heard this sermon and conscientiously applied it to himself. he drew two most practical conclusions which he had abundant opportunity to put into practice: first, that he must go into no byways or paths of his own for deliverance out of a crisis; and, secondly, that in proportion as he had been permitted to honour god and bring some glory to his name by trusting him, he was in danger of dishonouring him. having taught him these blessed truths, the lord tested him as to how far he would venture upon them. while in such sore need of money for the orphan work, he had in the bank some two hundred and twenty pounds, intrusted to him for other purposes. he might _use this money for the time at least,_ and so relieve the present distress. the temptation was the stronger so to do, because he knew the donors and knew them to be liberal supporters of the orphans; and he had only to explain to them the straits he was in and they would gladly consent to any appropriation of their gift that he might see best! most men would have cut that gordian knot of perplexity without hesitation. not so george muller. he saw at once that this would be _finding a way of his own out of difficulty, instead of waiting on the lord for deliverance._ moreover, he also saw that it would be _forming a habit of trusting to such expedients of his own, which in other trials would lead to a similar course and so hinder the growth of faith._ we use italics here because here is revealed one of the _tests_ by which this man of faith, was proven; and we see how he kept consistently and persistently to the one great purpose of his life--to demonstrate to all men that to _rest solely on i the promise of a faithful god_ is the only way to know for one's self and prove to others, his faithfulness. at this time of need--the type of many others--this man who had determined to risk everything upon god's word of promise, turned from doubtful devices and questionable methods of relief to _pleading with god._ and it may be well to mark his _manner_ of pleading. he used _argument_ in prayer, and at this time he piles up _eleven reasons_ why god should and would send help. this method of _holy argument_--ordering our cause before god, as an advocate would plead before a judge--is not only almost a lost art, but to many it actually seems almost puerile. and yet it is abundantly taught and exemplified in scripture. abraham in his plea for sodom is the first great example of it. moses excelled in this art, in many crises interceding in behalf of the people with consummate skill, marshalling arguments as a general-in-chief marshals battalions. elijah on carmel is a striking example of power in this special pleading. what holy zeal and jealousy for god! it is probable that if we had fuller records we should find that all pleaders with god, like noah, job, samuel, david, daniel, jeremiah, paul, and james, have used the same method. of course god does not _need to be convinced:_ no arguments can make any plainer to him the claims of trusting souls to his intervention, claims based upon his own word, confirmed by his oath. and yet he will be inquired of and argued with. that is his way of blessing. he loves to have us set before him our cause and his own promises: he delights in the well-ordered plea, where argument is piled upon argument. see how the lord jesus christ commended the persistent argument of the woman of canaan, who with the _wit of importunity_ actually turned his own _objection_ into a _reason._ he said, "it is not meet to take the children's bread and cast it to the little dogs."* "truth, lord," she answered, "yet the little dogs under the master's tables eat of the crumbs which fall from the children's mouths!" what a triumph of argument! catching the master himself in his words, as he meant she should, and turning his apparent reason for not granting into a reason for granting her request! "o woman," said he, "great is thy faith! be it unto thee even as thou wilt"--thus, as luther said, "flinging the reins on her neck." * cf. matt. vii. , xv. , . not [transcriber's note: greek word here], but [transcriber's note: another greek word here], the diminutive for little pet dogs. this case stands unique in the word of god, and it is this use of argument in prayer that makes it thus solitary in grandeur. but one other case is at all parallel,--that of the centurion of capernaum,* who, when our lord promised to go and heal his servant, argued that such coming was not needful, since he had only to speak the healing word. and notice the basis of his argument: if he, a commander exercising authority and yielding himself to higher authority, both obeyed the word of his superior and exacted obedience of his subordinate, how much more could the great healer, in his absence, by a word of command, wield the healing power that in his presence was obedient to his will! of him likewise our lord said: "i have not found so great faith, no, not in israel!" * matt. viii. . we are to argue our case with god, not indeed to convince _him,_ but to convince _ourselves._ in proving to him that, by his own word and oath and character, he has bound himself to interpose, we demonstrate _to our own faith_ that he has given us the right to ask and claim, and that he will answer our plea because he cannot deny himself. there are two singularly beautiful touches of the holy spirit in which the right thus to order argument before god is set forth to the reflective reader. in micah. vii. we read: "thou wilt perform the _truth_ to jacob, the _mercy_ to abraham, which thou hast sworn unto our fathers, from the days of old." mark the progress of the thought. what was mercy to abraham was truth to jacob. god was under no obligation to extend covenant blessings; hence it was to abraham a simple act of pure _mercy;_ but, having so put himself under voluntary bonds, jacob could claim as _truth_ what to abraham had been mercy. so in john i. : "if we confess our sins he is _faithful and just_ to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." plainly, forgiveness and cleansing are not originally matters of faithfulness and justice, but of mercy and grace. but, after god had pledged himself thus to forgive and cleanse the penitent sinner who confesses and forsakes his sins,* what was originally grace and mercy becomes faithfulness and justice; for god owes it to himself and to his creature to stand by his own pledge, and fulfil the lawful expectation which his own gracious assurance has created. * proverbs xxviii. . thus we have not only examples of argument in prayer, but concessions of the living god himself, that when we have his word to plead we may claim the fulfillment of his promise, on the ground not of his mercy only, but of his truth, faithfulness, and justice. hence the 'holy boldness with which we are bidden to present our plea at the throne of grace. god owes to his faithfulness to do what he has promised, and to his justice not to exact from the sinner a penalty already borne in his behalf by his own son. no man of his generation, perhaps, has been more wont to plead thus with god, after the manner of holy argument, than he whose memoir we are now writing. he was one of the elect few to whom it has been given to revive and restore this lost art of pleading with god. and if all disciples could learn the blessed lesson, what a period of _renaissance_ of faith would come to the church of god! george muller stored up reasons for god's intervention, as he came upon promises, authorized declarations of god concerning himself, names and titles he had chosen to express and reveal his true nature and will, injunctions and invitations which gave to the believer a right to pray and boldness in supplication--as he saw all these, fortified and exemplified by the instances of prevailing prayer, he laid these arguments up in memory, and then on occasions of great need brought them out and spread them before a prayer-hearing god. it is pathetically beautiful to follow this humble man of god into the secret place, and there hear him pouring out his soul in these argumentative pleadings, as though he would so order his cause before god as to convince him that he must interpose to save his own name and word from dishonour! these were _his_ orphans, for had he not declared himself the father of the fatherless? this was _his_ work, for had he not called his servant to do his bidding, and what was that servant but an instrument that could neither fit itself nor use itself? can the rod lift itself, or the saw move itself, or the hammer deal its own blow, or the sword make its own thrust? and if this were god's work, was he not bound to care for his own work? and was not all this deliberately planned and carried on for his own glory? and would he suffer his own glory to be dimmed? had not his own word been given and confirmed by his oath, and could god allow his promise, thus sworn to, to be dishonoured even in the least particular? were not the half-believing church and the unbelieving world looking on, to see how the living god would stand by his own unchanging assurance, and would he supply an argument for the skeptic and the scoffer? would he not, must he not, rather put new proofs of his faithfulness in the mouth of his saints, and furnish increasing arguments wherewith to silence the cavilling tongue and put to shame the hesitating disciple?* * mr. muller himself tells how he argued his case before the lord at this time. (appendix f. narrative, vol. , , ) in some such fashion as this did this lowly-minded saint in bristol plead with god for more than threescore years, _and prevail_--as every true believer may who with a like boldness comes to the throne of grace to obtain mercy and find grace to help in every time of need. how few of us can sincerely sing: i believe god answers prayer, answers always, everywhere; i may cast my anxious care, burdens i could never bear, on the god who heareth prayer. never need my soul despair since he bids me boldly dare to the secret place repair, there to prove he answers prayer. chapter xi trials of faith, and helpers to faith god has his own mathematics: witness that miracle of the loaves and fishes. our lord said to his disciples: "give ye them to eat," and as they divided, he multiplied the scanty provision; as they subtracted from it he added to it; as they decreased it by distributing, he increased it for distributing. and it has been beautifully said of all holy partnerships, that griefs shared are divided, and joys shared are multiplied. we have already seen how the prayer circle had been enlarged. the founder of the orphan work, at the first, had only god for his partner, telling him alone his own wants or the needs of his work. later on, a very few, including his own wife, mr. craik, and one or two helpers, were permitted to know the condition of the funds and supplies. later still, in the autumn of , he began to feel that he ought more fully to open the doors of his confidence to his associates in the lord's business. those who shared in the toils should also share in the prayers, and therefore in the knowledge of the needs which prayer was to supply; else how could they fully be partakers of the faith, the work, and the reward? or, again, how could they feel the full proof of the presence and power of god in the answers to prayer, know the joy of the lord which such answers inspire, or praise him for the deliverance which such answers exhibit? it seemed plain that, to the highest glory of god, they must know the depths of need, the extremities of want out of which god had lifted them, and then ascribe all honour and praise to his name. accordingly mr. muller called together all the beloved brothers and sisters linked with him in the conduct of the work, and fully stated the case, keeping nothing back. he showed them the distress they were in, while he bade them be of good courage, assuring them of his own confidence that help was nigh at hand, and then united them with himself and the smaller praying circle which had previously existed, in supplication to jehovah jireh. the step thus taken was of no small importance to all concerned. a considerable number of praying believers were henceforth added to the band of intercessors that gave god no rest day nor night. while mr. muller withheld no facts as to the straits to which the work was reduced, he laid down certain principles which from time to time were reiterated as unchanging laws for the conduct of the lord's business. for example, nothing must be bought, whatever the extremity, for which there was not money in hand to pay: and yet it must be equally a settled principle that the children must not be left to lack anything needful; for better that the work cease, and the orphans be sent away, than that they be kept in a nominal home where they were really left to suffer from hunger or nakedness. again, nothing was ever to be revealed to outsiders of existing need, lest it should be construed into an appeal for help; but the only resort must be to the living god. the helpers were often reminded that the supreme object of the institutions, founded in bristol, was to prove god's faithfulness and the perfect safety of trusting solely to his promises; jealousy for him must therefore restrain all tendency to look to man for help. moreover, they were earnestly besought to live in such daily and hourly fellowship with god as that their own unbelief and disobedience might not risk either their own power in prayer, or the agreement, needful among them, in order to common supplication. one discordant note may prevent the harmonious symphony of united prayer, and so far hinder the acceptableness of such prayer with god. thus informed and instructed, these devoted coworkers, with the beloved founder of the orphan work, met the crisis intelligently. if, when there were _no funds,_ there must be _no leaning upon man, no debt_ incurred, and yet _no lack_ allowed, clearly the only resort or resource must be waiting upon the unseen god; and so, in these straits and in every succeeding crisis, they went to him alone. the orphans themselves were never told of any existing need; in every case their wants were met, though they knew not how. the barrel of meal might be empty, yet there was always a handful when needed, and the cruse of oil was never so exhausted that a few drops were not left to moisten the handful of meal. famine and drought never reached the bristol orphanage: the supplies might come slowly and only for one day at a time, but somehow, when the need was urgent and could no longer wait, there was enough--though it might be barely enough to meet the want. it should be added here, as completing this part of the narrative, that, in august, , this circle of prayer was still further enlarged by admitting to its intimacies of fellowship and supplication the brethren and sisters who laboured in the day-schools, the same solemn injunctions being repeated in their case against any betrayal to outsiders of the crises that might arise. to impart the knowledge of affairs to so much larger a band of helpers brought in every way a greater blessing, and especially so to the helpers themselves. their earnest, believing, importunate prayers were thus called forth, and god only knows how much the consequent progress of the work was due to their faith, supplication, and self-denial. the practical knowledge of the exigencies of their common experience begat an unselfishness of spirit which prompted countless acts of heroic sacrifice that have no human record or written history, and can be known only when the pages of the lord's own journal are read by an assembled universe in the day when the secret things are brought to light. it has, since mr. muller's departure, transpired how large a share of the donations received are to be traced to him; but there is no means of ascertaining as to the aggregate amount of the secret gifts of his coworkers in this sacred circle of prayer. we do know, however, that mr. muller was not the only self-denying giver, though he may lead the host. his true yoke-fellows often _turned the crisis_ by their own offerings, which though small were costly! instrumentally they were used of god to relieve existing want by their gifts, for out of the abundance of their deep poverty abounded the riches of their liberality. the money they gave was sometimes like the widow's two mites--all their living; and not only the last penny, but ornaments, jewels, heirlooms, long-kept and cherished treasures, like the alabaster flask of ointment which was broken upon the feet of jesus, were laid down on god's altar as a willing sacrifice. they gave all they could spare and often what they could ill spare, so that there might be meat in god's house and no lack of bread or other needed supplies for his little ones. in a sublime sense this work was not mr. mullers only, but _theirs_ also, who with him took part in prayers and tears, in cares and toils, in self-denials and self-offerings, whereby god chose to carry forward his plans for these homeless waifs! it was in thus _giving_ that all these helpers found also new power, assurance, and blessing in praying; for, as one of them said, he felt that it would scarcely be _"upright to pray, except he were to give what he had."_* * narrative, : . the helpers, thus admitted into mr. muller's confidence, came into more active sympathy with him and the work, and partook increasingly of the same spirit. of this some few instances and examples have found their way into his journal. a gentleman and some ladies visiting the orphan houses saw the large number of little ones to be cared for. one of the ladies said to the matron of the boys' house: "of course you cannot carry on these institutions without a good stock of funds"; and the gentleman added, "have you a good stock?" the quiet answer was, "our funds are deposited in a bank which cannot break." the reply drew tears from the eyes of the lady, and a gift of five pounds from the pocket of the gentleman--a donation most opportune, as there was _not one penny then in hand._ fellow labourers such as these, who asked nothing for themselves, but cheerfully looked to the lord for their own supplies, and willingly parted with their own money or goods in the hour of need, filled mr. muller's heart with praise to god, and held up his hands, as aaron and hur sustained those of moses, till the sun of his life went down. during all the years of his superintendence these were the main human support of his faith and courage. they met with him in daily prayer, faithfully kept among themselves the secrets of the lord's work in the great trials of faith; and, when the hour of triumph came, they felt it to be both duty and privilege in the annual report to publish their deliverance, to make their boast in god, that all men might know his love and faithfulness and ascribe unto him glory. from time to time, in connection with the administration of the work, various questions arose which have a wider bearing on all departments of christian service, for their solution enters into what may be called the ethics and economics of the lord's work. at a few of these we may glance. as the lord was dealing with them by the day, it seemed clear that they were to _live by the day._ no dues [transcriber's note: unpaid debts] should be allowed to accumulate, even such as would naturally accrue from ordinary weekly supplies of bread, milk, etc. from the middle of september, , it was therefore determined that every article bought was to be paid for at the time. again, rent became due in stated amounts and at stated times. this want was therefore not unforeseen, and, looked at in one aspect, rent was due daily or weekly, though collected at longer intervals. the principle having been laid down that no debt should be incurred, it was considered as implying that the amount due for rent should be put aside daily, or at least weekly, even though not then payable. this rule was henceforth adopted, with this understanding, that money thus laid aside was sacred to that end, and not to be drawn upon, even temporarily, for any other. notwithstanding such conscientiousness and consistency the trial of faith and patience continued. money came in only in small sums, and barely enough with rigid economy to meet each day's wants. the outlook was often most dark and the prospect most threatening; but _no real need ever failed to be supplied:_ and so praise was continually mingled with prayer, the incense of thanksgiving making fragrant the flame of supplication. god's interposing power and love could not be doubted, and in fact made the more impression as unquestionable facts, because help came so frequently at the hour of extremity, and in the exact form or amount needed. before the provision was entirely exhausted, there came new supplies or the money wherewith to buy, so that these many mouths were always fed and these many bodies always clad. to live up to such principles as had been laid down was not possible without faith, kept in constant and lively exercise. for example, in the closing months of god seemed purposely putting them to a severe test, whether or not they _did trust him alone._ the orphan work was in continual straits: at times not one half-penny was in the hands of the matrons in the three houses. but not only was no knowledge of such facts ever allowed to leak out, or any hint of the extreme need ever given to outsiders, _but even those who inquired, with intent to aid, were not informed._ one evening a brother ventured to ask how the balance would stand when the next accounts were made up, and whether it would be as great in favour of the orphans as when the previous balance-sheet had been prepared. mr. mutter's calm but evasive answer was: _"it will be as great as the lord pleases."_ this was no intentional rudeness. to have said more would have been turning from the one helper to make at least an indirect appeal to man for help; and every such snare was carefully avoided lest the one great aim should be lost sight of: to prove to all men that it is safe to trust only in the living god. while admitting the severity of the straits to which the whole work of the scriptural knowledge institution was often brought, mr. muller takes pains to assure his readers that these straits were never a surprise to him, and that his expectations in the matter of funds were not disappointed, but rather the reverse. he had looked for great emergencies as essential to his full witness to a prayer-hearing god. the almighty hand can never be clearly seen while any human help is sought for or is in sight. we must turn absolutely away from all else if we are to turn fully unto the living god. the deliverance is signal, only in proportion as the danger is serious, and is most significant when, without god, we face absolute despair. hence the exact end for which the whole work was mainly begun could be attained only through such conditions of extremity and such experiences of interposition in extremity. some who have known but little of the interior history of the orphan work have very naturally accounted for the regularity of supplies by supposing that the public statements, made about it by word of mouth, and especially by the pen in the printed annual reports, have constituted _appeals for aid._ unbelief would interpret all god's working however wonderful, by 'natural laws,' and the carnal mind, refusing to see in any of the manifestations of god's power any supernatural force at work, persists in thus explaining away all the 'miracles of prayer.' no doubt humane and sympathetic hearts have been strongly moved by the remarkable ways in which god has day by day provided for all these orphans, as well as the other branches of work of the scriptural knowledge institution; and believing souls have been drawn into loving and hearty sympathy with work so conducted, and have been led to become its helpers. it is a well-known fact that god has used these annual reports to accomplish just such results. yet it remains true that these reports were never intended or issued as appeals for aid, and no dependence has been placed upon them for securing timely help. it is also undeniable that, however frequent their issue, wide their circulation, or great their influence, the regularity and abundance of the supplies of all needs must in some other way be accounted for. only a few days after public meetings were held or printed reports issued, funds often fell to their lowest ebb. mr. muller and his helpers were singularly kept from all undue leaning upon any such indirect appeals, and frequently and definitely asked god that they might never be left to look for any inflow of means through such channels. for many reasons the lord's dealings with them were made known, the main object of such publicity always being a _testimony to the faithfulness of god._ this great object mr. muller always kept foremost, hoping and praying that, by such records and revelations of god's fidelity to his promises, and of the manner in which he met each new need, his servant might awaken, quicken, and stimulate faith in him as the living god. one has only to read these reports to see the conspicuous absence of any appeal for human aid, or of any attempt to excite pity, sympathy and compassion toward the orphans. the burden of every report is to induce the reader to venture wholly upon god, to taste and see that the lord is good, and find for himself how blessed are all they that put their trust in him. only in the light of this supreme purpose can these records of a life of faith be read intelligently and intelligibly. weakness of body again, in the autumn of , compelled, for a time, rest from active labour, and mr. muller went to trowbridge and exeter, teignmouth and plymouth. god had precious lessons for him which he could best teach in the school of affliction. while at plymouth mr. muller felt anew the impulse to early rising for purposes of devotional communion. at halle he had been an early riser, influenced by zeal for excellence in study. afterwards, when his weak head and feeble nerves made more sleep seem needful, he judged that, even when he rose late, the day would be long enough to exhaust his little fund of strength; and so often he lay in bed till six or even seven o'clock, instead of rising at four; and after dinner took a nap for a quarter-hour. it now grew upon him, however, that he was losing in spiritual vigour, and that his soul's health was declining under this new regimen. the work now so pressed upon him as to prevent proper reading of the word and rob him of leisure for secret prayer. a 'chance remark'--there is no _chance_ in a believer's life!--made by the brother at whose house he was abiding at plymouth, much impressed him. referring to the sacrifices in leviticus, he said that, as the refuse of the animals was never offered up on the altar, but only the best parts and the fat, so the choicest of our time and strength, the best parts of our day, should be especially given to the lord in worship and communion. george muller meditated much on this; and determined, even at the risk of damage to bodily health, that he would no longer spend his best hours in bed. henceforth he allowed himself but _seven hours' sleep_ and gave up his after-dinner rest. this resumption of early rising secured long seasons of uninterrupted interviews 'with god, in prayer and meditation on the scriptures, before breakfast and the various inevitable interruptions that followed. he found himself not worse but better, physically, and became convinced that to have lain longer in bed as before would have kept his nerves weak; and, as to spiritual life, such new vitality and vigour accrued from thus waiting upon god while others slept, that it continued to be the habit of his after-life. in november, , when the needs were again great and the supplies very small, he was kept in peace: "i was not," he says, "looking at the _little in hand, 'but at the fulness of god."_ it was his rule to empty himself of all that he had, in order to greater boldness in appealing for help from above. all needless articles were sold if a market could be found. but what was useful in the lord's work he did not reckon as needless, nor regard it right to sell, since the father knew the need. one of his fellow labourers had put forward his valuable watch as a security for the return of money laid by for rent, but drawn upon for the time; yet even this plan was not felt to be scriptural, as the watch might be reckoned among articles needful and useful in the lord's service, and, if such, expedients were quite abandoned, the deliverance would be more manifest as of the lord. and so, one by one, all resorts were laid aside that might imperil full trust and sole dependence upon the one and only helper. when the poverty of their resources seemed most pinching, mr. muller still comforted himself with the daily proof that god had not forgotten, and would day by day feed them with 'the bread of their convenience.' often he said to himself, if it is even a proverb of the world that "man's necessity is god's opportunity," how much more may god's own dear children in their great need look to him to make their extremity the fit moment to display his love and power! in february, , another attack of ill health combined with a mission to germany to lead mr. muller for five weeks to the continent. at heimersleben, where he found his father weakened by a serious cough, the two rooms in which he spent most time in prayer and reading of the word, and confession of the lord, were the same in which, nearly twenty years before, he had passed most time as an unreconciled sinner against god and man. later on, at wolfenbuttel, he saw the inn whence in he ran away in debt. in taking leave once more of his father he was pierced by a keen anguish, fearing it was his last farewell, and an unusual tenderness and affection were now exhibited by his father, whom he yearned more and more to know as safe in the lord jesus, and depending no longer on outward and formal religiousness, or substituting the reading of prayers and of scripture for an inward conformity to christ. this proved the last interview, for the father died on march th of the same year. the main purpose of this journey to germany was to send forth more missionaries to the east. at sandersleben mr. muller met his friend, mr. stahlschmidt, and found a little band of disciples meeting in secret to evade the police. those who have always breathed the atmosphere of religious liberty know little of such intolerance as, in that nominally christian land, stifled all freedom of worship. eleven years before, when mr. stahlschmidt's servant had come to this place, he had found scarce one true disciple beside his master. the first meetings had been literally of but two or three, and, when they had grown a little larger, mr. kroll was summoned before the magistrates and, like the apostles in the first days of the church, forbidden to speak in his name. but again, like those same primitive disciples, believing that they were to obey god rather than men, the believing band had continued to meet, notwithstanding police raids which were so disturbing, and government fines which were so exacting. so secret, however, were their assemblies, as to have neither stated place nor regular time. george muller found these persecuted believers, meeting in the room of a humble weaver where there was but one chair. the twenty-five or thirty who were present found such places to sit or stand as they might, in and about the loom, which itself filled half the space. in halberstadt mr. muller found seven large protestant churches without one clergyman who gave evidence of true conversion, and the few genuine disciples there were likewise forbidden to meet together. a few days after returning to bristol from his few weeks in germany, and at a time of great financial distress in the work, a letter reached him from a brother who had often before given money, as follows: "have you any _present_ need for the institution under your care? i know you do not _ask,_ except indeed of him whose work you are doing; but to _answer when asked_ seems another thing, and a right thing. i have a reason for desiring to know the present state of your means towards the objects you are labouring to serve: viz., should you _not have_ need, other departments of the lord's work, or other people of the lord, _may have_ need. kindly then inform me, and to what amount, i.e. what amount you at this present time need or can profitably lay out." to most men, even those who carry on a work of faith and prayer, such a letter would have been at least a temptation. but mr. muller did not waver. to announce even to an inquirer the exact needs of the work would, in his opinion, involve two serious risks: . it would turn his own eyes away from god to man; . it would turn the minds of saints away from dependence solely upon him. this man of god had staked everything upon one great experiment--he had set himself to prove that the prayer which _resorts to god only_ will bring help in every crisis, even when the crisis is unknown to his people whom he uses as the means of relief and help. at this time there remained in hand but twenty-seven pence ha'penny, in all, to meet the needs of hundreds of orphans. nevertheless this was the reply to the letter: "whilst i thank you for your love, and whilst i agree with you that, in general, there is a difference between _asking for money_ and _answering when asked,_ nevertheless, in our case, i feel not at liberty to speak about the state of our funds, as the primary object of the work in my hands is to lead those who are weak in faith to see that there is _reality_ in dealing with god _alone."_ consistently with his position, however, no sooner was the answer posted than the appeal went up to the living god: "lord, thou knowest that, for thy sake, i did not tell this brother about our need. now, lord, show afresh that there is reality in speaking to thee only, about our need, and speak therefore to this brother so that he may help us." in answer, god moved this inquiring brother to send one hundred pounds, which came when _not one penny was in hand._ the confidence of faith, long tried, had its increasing reward and was strengthened by experience. in july, , mr. muller gave this testimony reviewing these very years of trial: "though for about seven years, our funds have been so exhausted that it has been comparatively a rare case that there have been means in hand to meet the necessities of the orphans _for three days_ together, yet i have been only once tried in spirit, and that was on september , , when for the first time the lord seemed not to regard our prayer. but when he did send help at that time, and i saw that it was only for the trial of our faith, and not because he had forsaken the work, that we were brought so low, my soul was so strengthened and encouraged that i have not only not been allowed to distrust the lord since that time, but i have not even been cast down when in the deepest poverty." chapter xii new lessons in god's school of prayer the teacher must also be a learner, and therefore only he who continues to learn is competent to continue to teach. nothing but new lessons, daily mastered, can keep our testimony fresh and vitalizing and enable us to give advance lessons. instead of being always engaged in a sort of review, our teaching and testimony will thus be drawn each day from a new and higher level. george muller's experiences of prevailing prayer went on constantly accumulating, and so qualified him to speak to others, not as on a matter of speculation, theory, or doctrinal belief, but of long, varied, and successful personal experiment. patiently, carefully and frequently, he seeks to impress on others the conditions of effective supplication. from time to time he met those to whom his courageous, childlike trust in god was a mystery; and occasionally unbelief's secret misgivings found a voice in the question, _what he would do if god did not send help!_ what, if a meal-time actually came with no food, and no money to procure it; or if clothing were worn out, and nothing to replace it? to all such questions there was always ready this one answer: that _such a failure on god's part is inconceivable,_ and must therefore be put among the impossibilities. there are, however, conditions necessary on man's part: _the suppliant soul must come to god in the right spirit and attitude._ for the sake of such readers as might need further guidance as to the proper and acceptable manner of approach to god, he was wont to make very plain the scripture teaching upon this point. five grand conditions of prevailing prayer were ever before his mind: . entire dependence upon the merits and mediation of the lord jesus christ, as the only ground of any claim for blessing. (see john xiv. , ; xv. , etc.) . separation from all known sin. if we regard iniquity in our hearts, the lord will not hear us, for it would be sanctioning sin. (psalm lxvi. .) . faith in god's word of promise as confirmed by his oath. not to believe him is to make him both a liar and a perjurer. (hebrews xi. ; vi. - .) . asking in accordance with his will. our motives must be godly: we must not seek any gift of god to consume it upon our own lusts. ( john v. ; james iv. .) . importunity in supplication. there must be waiting on god and waiting for god, as the husbandman has long patience to wait for the harvest. (james v. ; luke xviii. - .) the importance of firmly fixing in mind principles such as these cannot be overstated. the first lays the basis of all prayer, in our oneness with the great high priest. the second states a condition of prayer, found in abandonment of sin. the third reminds us of the need of honouring god by faith that he is, and is the rewarder of the diligent seeker. the fourth reveals the sympathy with god that helps us to ask what is for our good and his glory. the last teaches us that, having laid hold of god in prayer, we are to keep hold until his arm is outstretched in blessing. where these conditions do not exist, for god to answer prayer would be both a dishonour to himself and a damage to the suppliant. to encourage those who come to him in their own name, or in a self-righteous, self-seeking, and disobedient spirit, would be to set a premium upon continuance in sin. to answer the requests of the unbelieving would be to disregard the double insult put upon his word of promise and his oath of confirmation, by persistent doubt of his truthfulness and distrust of his faithfulness. indeed not one condition of prevailing prayer exists which is not such in the very nature of things. these are not arbitrary limitations affixed to prayer by a despotic will; they are necessary alike to god's character and man's good. all the lessons learned in god's school of prayer made mr. muller's feelings and convictions about this matter more profound and subduing. he saw the vital relation of prayer to holiness, and perpetually sought to impress it upon both his hearers and readers; and, remembering that for the purpose of persuasion the most effective figure of speech is _repetition,_ he hesitated at no frequency of restatement by which such truths might find root in the minds and hearts of others. there has never been a saint, from abel's day to our own, who has not been taught the same essential lessons. all prayer which has ever brought down blessing has prevailed by the same law of success--_the inward impulse of god's holy spirit._ if, therefore, that spirit's teachings be disregarded or disobeyed, or his inward movings be hindered, in just such measure will prayer become formal or be altogether abandoned. sin, consciously indulged, or duty, knowingly neglected, makes supplication an offence to god. again, all prayer prevails only in the measure of our real, even if not conscious, unity with the lord jesus christ as the ground of our approach, and in the degree of our dependence on him as the medium of our access to god. yet again, all prayer prevails only as it is offered in faith; and the _answer_ to such prayer can be recognized and received only _on the plane of faith;_ that is, we must maintain the believing frame, expecting the blessing, and being ready to receive it in god's way and time and form, and not our own. the faith that thus _expects_ cannot be surprised at answers to prayer. when, in november, , a sister gave ten pounds for the orphans, and at a time specially opportune, mr. muller records his triumphant joy in god as exceeding and defying all expression. yet he was _free from excitement and not in the least surprised,_ because by grace he had been trustfully waiting on god for deliverance. help had been so long delayed that in one of the houses there was no bread, and in none of them any milk or any money to buy either. it was only a few minutes before the milkman's cart was due, that this money came. however faithful and trustful in prayer, it behooves us to be none the less careful and diligent in the use of all proper means. here again mr. muller's whole life is a lesson to other believers. for example, when travelling in other lands, or helping other brethren on their way, he besought the lord's constant guardianship over the conveyances used, and even over the luggage so liable to go astray. but he himself looked carefully to the seaworthiness of the vessel he was to sail in, and to every other condition of safe and speedy transportation for himself and others. in one case where certain german brethren and sisters were departing for foreign shores, he noticed the manner in which the cabman stored away the small luggage in the fly; and observed that several carpetbags were hastily thrust into a hind boot. he also carefully counted the pieces of luggage and took note of the fact that there were seventeen in all. on arriving at the wharf, where there is generally much hurry and flurry, the dishonest cabman would have driven off with a large part of the property belonging to the party, but for this man of god who not only _prayed_ but _watched._ he who trusted god implicitly, no less faithfully looked to the cabman's fidelity, who, after he pretended to have delivered all the luggage to the porters, was compelled to open that hind boot and, greatly to his own confusion, deliver up the five or six bags hidden away there. mr. muller adds in his narrative that "such a circumstance should teach one to make the very smallest affairs a subject of prayer, as, for instance, that all the luggage might be safely taken out of a fly." may we not add that such a circumstance teaches us that companion lesson, quite as important in its way, that we are to be watchful as well as prayerful, and see that a dishonest cab-driver does not run off with another's goods! this praying saint, who watched man, most of all watched god. even in the lesser details of his work, his eye was ever looking for god's unfailing supplies, and taking notice of the divine leadings and dealings; and, afterward, there always followed the fruit of the lips, giving thanks to his name. here is another secret revealed: prayerfulness and thankfulness--those two handmaidens of god--always go together, each helping the other. "pray without ceasing: in everything give thanks." ( thess. v. , .) these two precepts stand side by side where they belong, and he who neglects one will find himself disobeying the other. this man who prayed so much and so well, offered the sacrifice of praise to god continually. for example, on september , , a specific entry was made in the narrative, so simple, childlike, and in every way characteristic, that every word of it is precious. "the lord, to show his continued care over us, raises up new helpers. they that trust in the lord shall never be confounded. some who helped for a while may fall asleep in jesus; others grow cold in the service of the lord; others be as desirous as ever to help, but no longer able; or, having means, feel it to be his will to lay them out in another way. but in leaning upon god, the living god alone, we are beyond disappointment and beyond _being forsaken because of death, or want of means, or want of love, or because of the claims of other work._ how precious to have learned, in any measure, to be content to stand with god alone in the world, and to know that surely no good thing shall be withheld from us, whilst we walk uprightly!" among the gifts received during this long life of stewardship for god some deserve individual mention. to an offering received in march, , a peculiar history attaches. the circumstances attending its reception made upon him a deep impression. he had given a copy of the annual report to a believing brother who had been greatly stirred up to prayer by reading it; and knowing his own sister, who was also a disciple, to possess sundry costly ornaments and jewels, such as a heavy gold chain, a pair of gold bracelets, and a superb ring set with fine brilliants, this brother besought the lord so to show her the uselessness of such trinkets that she should be led to lay them all upon his altar as an offering for the orphan work. this prayer was literally answered. her sacrifice of jewels proved of service to the work at a time of such pressing need that mr. muller's heart specially rejoiced in god. by the proceeds of the sale of these ornaments he was helped to meet the expenses of a whole week, and besides to _pay the salaries_ due to the helpers. but, before disposing of the diamond ring, he wrote with it upon the window-pane of his own room that precious name and title of the lord--"jehovah jireh"--and henceforth whenever, in deep poverty, he cast his eyes upon those two words, imperishably written with the point of a diamond upon that pane, he thankfully remembered that "the lord will provide." how many of his fellow believers might find unfailing refreshment and inspiration in dwelling upon the divine promises! ancient believers were bidden to write god's words on the palms of their hands, the doorposts of their houses, and on their gates, so that the employments of their hands, their goings out and comings in, their personal and home life, might be constant reminders of jehovah's everlasting faithfulness. he who inscribed this chosen name of god upon the window-pane of his dwelling, found that every ray of sunlight that shone into his room lit up his lord's promise. he thus sums up the experiences of the year : . notwithstanding multiplied trials of faith, the orphans have lacked nothing. . instead of being disappointed in his expectations or work, the reverse had been true, such trials being seen to be needful to demonstrate that the lord was their helper in times of need. . such a way of living brings the lord very near, as one who daily inspects the need that he may send the more timely aid. . such constant, instant reliance upon divine help does not so absorb the mind in temporal things as to unfit for spiritual employments and enjoyments; but rather prompts to habitual communion with the lord and his word. . other children of god may not be called to a similar work, but are called to a like faith, and may experience similar interposition if they live according to his will and seek his help. . the incurring of debt, being unscriptural, is a sin needing confession and abandonment if we desire unhindered fellowship with god, and experience of his interposition. it was in this year , also, that a further object was embraced in the work of the scripture knowledge institution, namely, the circulation of christian books and tracts. but, as the continuance and enlargement of these benevolent activities made the needs greater, so, in answer to prayer, the hand of the great provider bestowed larger supplies. divine interposition will never be doubted by one who, like george muller, gives himself to prayer, for the coincidences will prove too exact and frequent between demand and supply, times and seasons of asking and answering, to allow of doubt that god has helped. the 'ethics of language' embody many lessons. for example, the term 'poetic retribution' describes a visitation of judgment where the penalty peculiarly befits the crime. as poetic lines harmonize, rhyme and rhythm showing the work of a designing hand, so there is often harmony between an offense and its retribution, as when adonibezek, who had afflicted a like injury upon threescore and five captive kings, had his own thumbs and great toes cut off, or as when haman was himself hung on the gallows that he built for mordecai. we read in psalm ix. : "the lord is known by the judgment which he executeth: the wicked is snared in the work of his own hands." the inspired thought is that the punishment of evil-doers is in such exact correspondence with the character of their evil doings as to show that it is the lord executing vengeance--the penalty shows a designing hand. he who watches the peculiar retributive judgments of god, how he causes those who set snares and pitfalls for others to fall into them themselves, will not doubt that behind such 'poetic retribution' there is an intelligent judge. somewhat so the poetic harmony between prayer and its answer silences all question as to a discriminating hearer of the suppliant soul. a single case of such answered prayer might be accounted accidental; but, ever since men began to call upon the name of the lord, there have been such repeated, striking, and marvelous correspondences between the requests of man and the replies of god, that the inference is perfectly safe, the induction has too broad a basis and too large a body of particulars to allow mistake. the coincidences are both too many and too exact to admit the doctrine of _chance._ we are compelled, not to say justified, to conclude that the only sufficient and reasonable explanation must be found in a god who hears and answers prayer. mr. muller was not the only party to these transactions, nor the only person thus convinced that god was in the whole matter of the work and its support. the _donors_ as well as the receiver were conscious of divine leading. frequent were the instances also when those who gave most timely help conveyed to mr. muller the knowledge of the experiences that accompanied or preceded their offerings; as, for example, when, without any intimation being given them from man that there was special need, the heart was impressed in prayer to god that there was an emergency requiring prompt assistance. for example, in june, , fifty pounds were received with these words: _"i am not concerned at my having been prevented for so many days from sending this money; i am confident it has not been needed."_ "this last sentence is remarkable," says mr. muller. "it is now nearly three years since our funds were for the first time exhausted, and only at this period, since then, could it have been said in truth, so far as i remember, that a donation of fifty pounds was _not_ needed. from the beginning in july, , till now, there never had been a period when we so abounded as when this donation came; for there were then, in the orphan fund and the other funds, between two and three hundred pounds! the words of our brother are so much the more remarkable as, on four former occasions, when he likewise gave considerable donations, we were always in need, yea, great need, which he afterwards knew from the printed accounts." prevailing prayer is largely conditioned on constant obedience. "whatsoever we ask we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things which are well pleasing in his sight." ( john iii. .) there is no way of keeping in close touch with god unless a _new step_ is taken in advance whenever _new light_ is given. here is another of the life-secrets of george muller. without unduly counting the cost, he followed every leading of god. in july, , both mr. craik and mr. muller were impressed that the existing mode of receiving free-will offerings from those among whom they laboured was inexpedient. these contributions were deposited in boxes, over which their names were placed with an explanation of the purpose to which such offerings were applied. but it was felt that this might have the appearance of unduly elevating them above others, as though they were assuming official importance, or excluding others from full and equal recognition as labourers in word and doctrine. they therefore decided to discontinue this mode of receiving such offerings. such an act of obedience may seem to some, over-scrupulous, but it cost some inward struggles, for it threatened a possible and probable decrease in supplies for their own needs, and the question naturally arose how such lack should be supplied. happily mr. muller had long ago settled the question that _to follow a clear sense of duty is always safe._ he could say, in every such crisis, "o god, my heart is fixed, my heart is fixed, trusting in thee." (psalm cxii. .) once for all having made such a decision, such apparent risks did not for a moment disturb his peace. somehow or other the lord would provide, and all he had to do was to serve and trust him and leave the rest to his fatherhood. in the autumn of it pleased god that, beyond any previous period, there should be a severe test of faith. for some months the supplies had been comparatively abundant, but now, from day to day and from meal to meal, the eye of faith had to be turned to the lord, and, notwithstanding continuance in prayer, _help seemed at times to fail,_ so much so that it was a special sign of god's grace that, during this long trial of delay, the confidence of mr. muller and his helpers did not altogether give way. but he and they were held up, and he unwaveringly rested on the fatherly pity of god. on one occasion a poor woman gave two pence, adding, "it is but a trifle, but i must give it to you." yet so opportune was the gift of these 'two mites' that _one of these two pence_ was just what was at that time needed to make up the sum required to buy bread for immediate use. at another time eight pence more being necessary to provide for the next meal, but _seven_ pence were in hand; but on opening one of the boxes, _one penny_ only was found deposited, and thus a single penny was traced to the father's care. it was in december of this same year, , that, in order to show how solely dependence was placed on a heavenly provider, it was determined to _delay for a while_ both the holding of any public meeting and the printing of the annual report. mr. muller was confident that, though no word should be either spoken or printed about the work and its needs, the means would still be supplied. as a matter of fact the report of - was thus postponed for five months; and so, _in the midst of deep poverty_ and _partly because of the very pressure of such need,_ another bold step was taken, which, like the cutting away of the ropes that held the life-boat, in that mediterranean shipwreck, threw mr. muller, and all that were with him in the work, more completely on the promise and the providence of god. it might be inferred that, where such a decision was made, the lord would make haste to reward at once such courageous confidence. and yet, so mysterious are his ways, that never, up to that time, had mr. muller's faith been tried so sharply as between december , , and april , . during these four months, again, it was as though god were saying, "i will now see whether indeed you truly lean on me and look to me." at any time during this trial, mr. muller might have changed his course, holding the public meeting and publishing the report, for, outside the few who were in his councils, _no one knew of the determination,_ and in fact many children of god, looking for the usual year's journal of 'the lord's dealings,' were surprised at the delay. but the conclusion conscientiously reached was, for the glory of the lord, as steadfastly pursued, and again jehovah jireh revealed his faithfulness. during this four months, on march , , the need was so extreme that, had no help come, the work could not have gone on. but, _on that day,_ from a brother living near dublin, ten pounds came: and the hand of the lord clearly appeared in this gift, for when the post had already come and no letter had come with it, there was a strong confidence suggested to mr. muller's mind that deliverance was at hand; and so it proved, for presently the letter was brought to him, having been delivered at one of the other houses. during this same month, it was necessary once to _delay dinner for about a half-hour,_ because of a lack of supplies. such a postponement had scarcely ever been known before, and very rarely was it repeated in the entire after-history of the work, though thousands of mouths had to be daily fed. in the spring of , mr. muller felt led to open a _fourth orphan house,_ the third having been opened nearly six years before. this step was taken with his uniform conscientiousness, deliberation, and prayerfulness. he had seen many reasons for such enlargement of the work, but he had said nothing about the matter even to his beloved wife. day by day he waited on god in prayer, preferring to take counsel only of him, lest he might do something in haste, move in advance of clear leading, or be biassed unduly by human judgment. unexpected obstacles interfered with his securing the premises which had already been offered and found suitable; but he was in no way 'discomforted.' the burden of his prayer was, "lord, if _thou_ hast no need of another orphan house, _i_ have none"; and he rightly judged that the calm deliberation with which he had set about the whole matter, and the unbroken peace with which he met new hindrances, were proofs that he was following the guidance of god and not the motions of self-will. as the public meeting and the publication of the annual report had been purposely postponed to show that no undue dependence was placed even on indirect appeals to man, much special prayer went up to god, that, _before july ,_ , when the public meeting was to be held, he would so richly supply all need that it might clearly appear that, notwithstanding these lawful means of informing his servants concerning the work had for a time not been used, the prayer of faith had drawn down help from above. as the financial year had closed in may, it would be more than _two years_ since the previous report had been made to the public. george muller was jealous for the lord god of hosts, he desired that "even the shadow of ground might be cut off for persons to say, 'they cannot get any more money; and therefore they now publish another report.'" hence, while, during the whole progress of the work, he desired to stand with his master, without heeding either the favourable or unfavourable judgments of men, he felt strongly that god would be much honoured and glorified as the prayer-hearing god if, before the public had been at all apprised of the situation, an ample supply might be given. in such case, instead of appearing to ask aid of men, he and his associates would be able to witness to the church and the world, god's faithfulness, and offer him the praise of joyful and thankful hearts. as he had asked, so was it done unto him. money and other supplies came in, and, on the day before the accounts were closed, such liberal gifts, that there was a _surplus of over twenty pounds_ for the whole work. chapter xiii following the pillar of cloud and fire "the steps of a good man are ordered by the lord." (psalm xxxvii. .) some one quaintly adds, "yes, and the _stops, too!"_ the pillar of cloud and fire is a symbol of that divine leadership which guides both as to forward steps and intervals of rest. mr muller found it blessed to follow, one step at a time, as god ordered his way, and to stand still and wait when he seemed to call for a halt. at the end of may, , a crisis was reached, which was a new example of the experiences to which faith is liable in the walk with god; and a new illustration of the duty and delight of depending upon him in everything and for everything, habitually waiting upon him, and trusting in him to remove all hindrances in the way of service. some eighteen months previously, a german lady from wurtemberg had called to consult him as to her own plans, and, finding her a comparative stranger to god, he spoke to her about her spiritual state, and gave her the first two parts of his narrative. the perusal of these pages was so blest to her that she was converted to god, and felt moved to translate the narrative into her own tongue as a channel of similar blessing to other hearts. this work of translation she partially accomplished, though somewhat imperfectly; and the whole occurrence impressed mr. muller as an indication that god was once more leading him in the direction of germany, for another season of labour in his native land. much prayer deepened his persuasion that he had not misread god's signal, and that his time had now fully come. he records some of the motives which led to this conclusion. . first, he yearned to encourage believing brethren who for conscience' sake had felt constrained to separate themselves from the state churches, and meet for worship in such conditions as would more accord with new testament principles, and secure greater edification. . being a german himself, and therefore familiar with their language, customs, and habits of thought, he saw that he was fitted to wield a larger influence among his fellow countrymen than otherwise. . he was minded to publish his narrative in his own tongue wherein he was born, not so much in the form of a mere translation, as of an independent record of his life's experiences such as would be specially suited to its new mission. . an effectual door was opened before him, and more widely than ever, especially at stuttgart; and although there were many adversaries, they only made his help the more needful to those whose spiritual welfare was in peril. . a distinct burden was laid on his heart, as from the lord, which prayer, instead of relieving, increased--a burden which he _felt_ without being able to explain--so that the determination to visit his native land gave him a certain peace which he did not have when he thought of remaining at home. to avoid mistake, with equal care he records the counter-arguments. . the new orphan house, no. , was about to be opened, and his presence was desirable if not needful. . a few hundred pounds were needed, to be left with his helpers, for current expenses in his absence. . money was also required for travelling expenses of himself and his wife, whose health called for a change. . funds would be needful to publish four thousand copies of his narrative and avoid too high a market-price. . a matron for the new orphan house was not yet found, suitable for the position. in this careful _weighing of matters_ many sincere disciples fail, prone to be impatient of delay in making decisions. impulse too often sways, and self-willed plans betray into false and even disastrous mistakes. life is too precious to risk one such failure. there is given us a promise of deep meaning: "the meek will he guide in judgment; and the meek will he teach his way." (psalm xxv. .) here is a double emphasis upon _meekness_ as a condition of such guidance and teaching. _meekness is a real preference for god's will._ where this holy habit of mind exists, the whole being becomes so open to impression that, without any _outward_ sign or token, there is an _inward_ recognition and choice of the will of god. god guides, not by a visible sign, but by _swaying the judgment._ to wait before him, weighing candidly in the scales every consideration for or against a proposed course, and in readiness to see which way the preponderance lies, is a frame of mind and heart in which one is fitted to be guided; and god touches the scales and makes the balance to sway as he will. _but our hands must be off the scales,_ otherwise we need expect no interposition of his, in our favour. to return to the figure with which this chapter starts, the meek soul simply and humbly waits, and _watches the moving of the pillar._ one sure sign of this spirit of meekness is the entire _restfulness_ with which apparent obstacles to any proposed plan or course are regarded. when waiting and wishing only to know and do god's will, hindrances will give no anxiety, but a sort of pleasure, as affording a new opportunity for divine interposition. if it is the pillar of god we are following, the red sea will not dismay us, for it will furnish but another scene for the display of the power of him who can make the waters to stand up as an heap, and to become a wall about us as we go through the sea on dry ground. mr. muller had learned this rare lesson, and in this case he says: _"i had a secret satisfaction in the greatness of the difficulties which were in the way._ so far from being cast down on account of them, they delighted my soul; for i only desired to do the will of the lord in this matter." here is revealed another secret of holy serving. to him who sets the lord always before him, and to whom the will of god is his delight, there pertains a habit of soul which, in advance settles a thousand difficult and perplexing questions. the case in hand is an illustration of the blessing found in such meek preference for god's pleasure. if it were the will of the lord that this continental tour should be undertaken at that time, difficulties need not cast him down; for the _difficulties could not be of god;_ and, if not of god, they should give him no unrest, for, in answer to prayer, they would all be removed. if, on the other hand, this proposed visit to the continent were _not_ god's plan at all, but only the fruit of self-will; if some secret, selfish, and perhaps subtle motive were controlling, then indeed hindrances might well be interferences of god, designed to stay his steps. in the latter case, mr. muller rightly judged that difficulties in the way would naturally vex and annoy him; that he would not like to look at them, and would seek to remove them by his own efforts. instead of giving him an inward satisfaction as affording god an opportunity to intervene in his behalf, they would arouse impatience and vexation, as preventing self-will from carrying out its own purposes. such discriminations have only to be stated to any spiritual mind, to have their wisdom at once apparent. any believing child of god may safely gauge the measure of his surrender to the will of god, in any matter, by the measure of impatience he feels at the obstacles in the way; for in proportion as self-will sways him, whatever seems to oppose or hinder his plans will disturb or annoy; and, instead of quietly leaving all such hindrances and obstacles to the lord, to deal with them as he pleases, in his own way and time, the wilful disciple will, impatiently and in the energy of the flesh, set himself to remove them by his own scheming and struggling, and he will brook no delay. whenever satan acts as a hinderer ( thess. ii. ) the obstacles which he puts in our way need not dismay us; god permits them to delay or deter us for the time, only as a test of our patience and faith, and the satanic hinderer will be met by a divine helper who will sweep away all his obstacles, as with the breath of his mouth. mr. muller felt this, and he waited on god for light and help. but, after forty days' waiting, the hindrances, instead of decreasing, seemed rather to increase. much more money was spent than was sent in; instead of finding another suitable matron, a sister, already at work, was probably about to withdraw, so that two vacancies would need to be filled instead of one. yet his rest and peace of mind were unbroken. being persuaded that he was yielded up to the will of god, faith not only held him to his purpose, but saw the obstacles already surmounted, so that he gave thanks in advance. because caleb "followed the lord fully," even the giant sons of anak with their walled cities and chariots of iron had for him no terrors. their defence was departed from them, but the lord was with his believing follower, and made him strong to drive them out and take possession of their very stronghold as his own inheritance. during this period of patient waiting, mr. muller remarked to a believing sister: "well, my soul is at peace. the lord's time is not yet come; but, when it is come, he will blow away all these obstacles, as chaff is blown away before the wind." _a quarter of an hour later,_ a gift of seven hundred pounds became available for the ends in view, so that three of the five hindrances to this continental tour were at once removed. all travelling expenses for himself and wife, all necessary funds for the home work for two months in advance, and all costs of publishing the narrative in german, were now provided. this was on july th; and so soon afterward were the remaining impediments out of the way that, by august th, mr. and mrs. muller were off for germany. the trip covered but seven months: and on march , , they were once more in bristol. during this sojourn abroad no journal was kept, but mr. muller's letters serve the purpose of a record. rotterdam, weinheim, cologne, mayence, stuttgart, heidelberg, etc., were visited, and mr. muller distributed tracts and conversed with individuals by the way; but his main work was to expound the word in little assemblies of believers, who had separated themselves from the state church on account of what they deemed errors in teaching, practice, modes of worship, etc. the first hour of his stay at stuttgart brought to him one of the sharpest trials of faith he had ever thus far experienced. the nature of it he does not reveal in his journal, but it now transpires that it was due to the recalling of the seven hundred pounds, the gift of which had led to his going to germany. this fact could not at the time be recorded because the party would feel it a reproach. nor was this the only test of faith during his sojourn abroad; in fact so many, so great, so varied, and so prolonged were some of these trials, as to call into full exercise all the wisdom and grace which he had received from god, and whatever lessons he had previously learned in the school of experience became now of use. yet not only was his peace undisturbed, but he bears witness that the conviction so rooted itself in his inmost being that in all this god's goodness was being shown, that he would have had nothing different. the greatest trials bore fruit in the fullest blessings and sometimes in clusters of blessings. it particularly moved him to adoring wonder and praise to see god's wisdom in having delayed his visit until the very time when it occurred. had he gone any earlier he would have gone too soon, lacking the full experience necessary to confront the perplexities of his work. when darkness seemed to obscure his way, faith kept him expectant of light, or at least of guidance in the darkness; and he found that promise to be literally fulfilled: "as thou goest, step by step, the way shall open up before thee." (see the hebrew, of prov. iv. .) at stuttgart he found and felt, like jude, that it was "needful earnestly to contend for the faith once delivered to the saints." even among believers, errors had found far too deep root. especially was undue stress laid upon _baptism,_ which was made to occupy a prominence and importance out of all due proportion of faith. one brother had been teaching that without it there is no new birth, and that, consequently, no one could, before baptism, claim the forgiveness of sins; that the apostles were not born from above until the day of pentecost, and that our lord himself had not been new-born until his own baptism, and had thence, for the rest of his mortal life, ceased to be under the law! many other fanciful notions were found to prevail, such as that baptism is the actual death of the old man by drowning, and that it is a covenant with the believer into which god enters; that it is a sin to break bread with unbaptized believers or with members of the state church; and that the bread and the cup used in the lord's supper not only mean but are the very body and blood of the lord, etc. a more serious and dangerous doctrine which it was needful to confront and confute was what mr. muller calls that "awful error," spread almost universally among believers in that land, that at last "all will be saved," not-sinful men only, but "even the devils themselves." calmly and courteously, but firmly and courageously, these and kindred errors were met with the plain witness of the word. refutation of false teaching aroused a spirit of bitterness in opposers of the truth, and, as is too often the case, faithful testimony was the occasion of acrimony; but the lord stood by his servant and so strengthened him that he was kept both faithful and peaceful. one grave practical lack which mr. muller sought to remedy was ignorance of those deeper truths of the word, which relate to the power and presence of the holy spirit of god in the church, and to the ministry of saints, one to another, as fellow members in the body of christ, and as those to whom that same spirit divides severally, as he will, spiritual gifts for service. as a natural result of being untaught in these important practical matters, believers' meetings had proved rather opportunities for unprofitable talk than godly edifying which is in faith. the only hope of meeting such errors and supplying such lack lay in faithful scripture teaching, and he undertook for a time to act as the sole teacher in these gatherings, that the word of god might have free course and be glorified. afterward, when there seemed to be among the brethren some proper apprehension of vital spiritual truths, with his usual consistency and humility he resumed his place as simply a brother among fellow believers, all of whom had liberty to teach as the spirit might lead and guide. there was, however, no shrinking from any duty or responsibility laid upon him by larger, clearer acquaintance with truth, or more complete experience of its power. when called by the voice of his brethren to expound the word in public assemblies, he gladly embraced all opportunities for further instruction out of holy scripture and of witness to god. with strong emphasis he dwelt upon the presiding presence of the blessed spirit in all assemblies of saints, and upon the duty and privilege of leaving the whole conduct of such assemblies to his divine ordering; and in perfect accord, with such teaching he showed that the holy spirit, if left free to administer all things, would lead such brethren to speak, at such times and on such themes as he mighty please; and that, whenever their desires and preferences were spiritual and not carnal, such choice of the spirit would always be in harmony with their own. these views of the spirit's administration in the assemblies of believers, and of his manifestation in all believers for common profit, fully accord with scripture teaching. ( cor. xii., romans xii., ephes. iv., etc.) were such views practically held in the church of this day, a radical revolution would be wrought and a revival of apostolic faith and primitive church life would inevitably follow. no one subject is perhaps more misunderstood, or less understood, even among professed believers, than the person, offices, and functions of the spirit of god. john owen, long since, suggested that the practical test of soundness in the faith, during the present gospel age, is _the attitude of the church toward the holy spirit._ if so, the great apostasy cannot be far off, if indeed it is not already upon us, for there is a shameful ignorance and indifference prevalent, as to the whole matter of his claim to holy reverence and obedience. in connection with this visit to germany, a curious misapprehension existed, to which a religious periodical had given currency, that mr. muller was deputed by the english baptists to labour among german baptists to bring them back to the state church. this rumour was of course utterly unfounded, but he had no chance to correct it until just before his return to britain, as he had not until then heard of it. the lord had allowed this false report to spread and had used it to serve his own ends, for it was due in part to this wrong impression of mr. muller's mission that he was not molested or interfered with by the officers of the government. though for months openly and undisguisedly teaching vital gospel truths among believers who had separated from the established church, he had suffered no restraint, for, so long as it was thought that his mission in germany was to reclaim to the fold of the state church those who had wandered away, he would of course be liable to no interference from state officials. the lord went before his servant also in preparing the way for the publishing of his narrative, guiding him to a bookseller who undertook its sale on commission, enabling the author to retain two thousand copies to give away, while the rest were left to be sold. mr. muller, about this time, makes special mention of his joy and comfort in the spiritual blessing attending his work, and the present and visible good, wrought through the publication of his narrative. many believers had been led to put more faith in the promises of the great provider, and unbelievers had been converted by their perusal of the simple story of the lord's dealings; and these tidings came from every quarter where the narrative had as yet found its way. the name of henry craik, hitherto affixed to every report together with george muller's, appears for the last time in the report of . this withdrawal of his name resulted, not from any division of feeling or diminution of sympathy, but solely from mr. craik's conviction that the honour of being used of god as his instrument in forwarding the great work of the scriptural knowledge institution belonged solely to george muller. the trials of faith ceased not although the occasions of praise were so multiplied. on september , , day-dawn, but one farthing was left on hand, and hundred and forty mouths were to be fed at breakfast!' the lack of money and such supplies was, however, only one form of these tests of faith and incentives to prayer. indeed he accounted these the lightest of his burdens, for there were other cares and anxieties that called for greater exercise of faith resolutely to cast them on him who, in exchange for solicitude, gives his own perfect peace. what these trials were, any thoughtful mind must at once see who remembers how these many orphans were needing, not only daily supplies of food and clothing, but education, in mind and in morals; preparation for, and location in, suitable homes; careful guards about their health and every possible precaution and provision to prevent disease; also the character of all helpers must be carefully investigated before they were admitted, and their conduct carefully watched afterward lest any unworthy or unqualified party should find a place, or be retained, in the conduct of the work. these and other matters, too many to be individually mentioned, had to be borne daily to the great helper, without whose everlasting arms they could not have been carried. and mr. muller seeks constantly to impress on all who read his pages or heard his voice, the perfect trustworthiness of god. for any and all needs of the work help was always given, and _it never once came too late._ however poor, and however long the suppliant believer waits on god, he never fails to get help, if he trusts the promises and is in the path of duty. even the delay in answered prayer serves a purpose. god permits us to call on him while he answers not a word, both to test our faith and importunity, and to encourage others who hear of his dealings with us. and so it was that, whether there were on hand much or little, by god's grace the founder of these institutions remained untroubled, confident that deliverance would surely come in the best way and time, not only with reference to temporal wants, but in all things needful. during the history of the institution thus far, enlargement had been its law. mr. muller's heart grew in capacity for larger service, and his faith in capacity for firmer confidence, so that while he was led to attempt greater things for god, he was led also to expect greater things from god. those suggestive words of christ to nathanael have often prompted like larger expectations: "believest thou? thou shalt see greater things than these." (john i. .) in the year , _the wants of the mission field_ took far deeper hold of him than ever before. he had already been giving aid to brethren abroad, in british guiana and elsewhere, as well as in fields nearer at home. but he felt a strong yearning to be used of god more largely in sending to their fields and supporting in their labours, the chosen servants of the lord who were working on a scriptural basis and were in need of help. he had observed that whenever god had put into his heart to devise liberal things, he had put into his hand the means to carry out such liberal purposes; and from this time forth he determined, as far as god should enable him, to aid brethren of good report, labouring in word and doctrine, throughout the united kingdom, who were faithful witnesses to god and were receiving no regular salary. the special object he had in view was to give a helping hand to such as for the sake of conscience and of christ had relinquished former stipends or worldly emoluments. whatever enlargement took place in the work, however, it was no sign of _surplus funds._ every department of service or new call of duty had separate and prayerful consideration. advance steps were taken only when and where and so fast as the pillar moved, and fresh work was often undertaken at a time when there was a lack rather than an abundance of money. some who heard of mr. muller's absence in germany inferred plenty of funds on hand--a conclusion that was neither true nor legitimate. at times when poverty was most pressing, additional expenditure was not avoided nor new responsibility evaded if, after much prayer, the lord seemed plainly leading in that direction. and it was beautiful to see how he did not permit any existing work to be embarrassed because at his bidding new work was undertaken. one great law for all who would be truly led by god's pillar of cloud and fire, is to take no step at the bidding of self-will or without the clear moving of the heavenly guide. though the direction be new and the way seem beset with difficulty, there is never any risk, provided we are only led of god. each new advance needs separate and special authority from him, and yesterday's guidance is not sufficient for to-day. it is important also to observe that, if one branch of the work is in straits, it is not necessarily a reason for abandoning another form of service. the work of god depends on him alone. if the whole tree is his planting, we need not cut off one limb to save another. the whole body is his, and, if one member is weak, it is not necessary to cut off another to make it strong, for the strength of the whole body is the dependence of every part. in our many-branching service each must get vitality and vigour from the same source in god. nevertheless let us not forget that the _stops,_ as well as the _steps,_ of a good man are ordered of the lord. if the work is his work, let him control it, and, whether we expand or contract, let it be at his bidding, and a matter of equal satisfaction to his servant. chapter xiv god's building: the new orphan houses how complex are the movements of god's providence! some events are themselves eventful. like the wheels in ezekiel's vision--a wheel in the middle of a wheel,--they involve other issues within their mysterious mechanism, and constitute epochs of history. such an epochal event was the building of the first of the new orphan houses on ashley down. after october, , it became clear to mr. muller that the lord was leading in this direction. residents on wilson street had raised objections to the noise made by the children, especially in play hours; the playgrounds were no longer large enough for so many orphans; the drainage was not adequate, nor was the situation of the rented houses favourable, for proper sanitary conditions; it was also desirable to secure ground for cultivation, and thus supply outdoor work for the boys, etc. such were some of the reasons which seemed to demand the building of a new orphan house; and the conviction steadily gained ground that the highest well-being of all concerned would be largely promoted if a suitable site could be found on which to erect a building adapted to the purpose. there were objections to building which were carefully weighed: money in large sums would be needed; planning and constructing would severely tax time and strength; wisdom and oversight would be in demand at every stage of the work; and the question arose whether such permanent structures befit god's pilgrim people, who have here no continuing city and believe that the end of all things is at hand. continuance in prayer, however, brought a sense of quiet and restful conviction that all objections were overbalanced by other and favourable considerations. one argument seemed particularly weighty: should god provide large amounts of money for this purpose, it would still further illustrate the power of prayer, offered in faith, to command help from on high. a lot of ground, spacious enough, would, at the outset, cost thousands of pounds; but why should this daunt a true child of god whose father was infinitely rich? mr. muller and his helpers sought day by day to be guided of god, and, as faith fed on this daily bread of contact with him, the assurance grew strong that help would come. shortly mr. muller was as sure of this as though the building already stood before his eyes, though for five weeks not one penny had been sent in for this purpose. meanwhile there went on that searching scrutiny of his own heart by which he sought to know whether any hidden motive of a selfish sort was swaying his will; but as strict self-examination brought to light no conscious purpose but to glorify god, in promoting the good of the orphans, and provoking to larger trust in god all who witnessed the work, it was judged to be god's will that he should go forward. in november of this year, he was much encouraged by a visit from a believing brother* who bade him go on in the work, but wisely impressed on him the need of asking for wisdom from above, at every step, seeking god's help in showing him the plan for the building, that all details might accord with the divine mind. on the thirty-sixth day after specific prayer had first been offered about this new house, on december , , mr. muller received _one thousand pounds_ for this purpose, the largest sum yet received _in one donation_ since the work had begun, march , . yet he was as calm and composed as though the gift had been only a shilling; having full faith in god, as both guiding and providing, he records that he would not have been surprised had the amount been five or ten times greater. * robert c. chapman, of barnstaple, yet living--and whom mr. muller cherished as his "oldest friend." three days later, a christian architect in london voluntarily offered not only to draught the plans, but gratuitously to superintend the building! this offer had been brought about in a manner so strange as to be naturally regarded as a new sign and proof of god's approval and a fresh pledge of his sure help. mr. muller's sister-in-law, visiting the metropolis, had met this architect; and, finding him much interested to know more of the work of which he had read in the narrative, she had told him of the purpose to build; whereupon, without either solicitation or expectation on her part, this cheerful offer was made. not only was this architect not urged by her, but he pressed his proposal, himself, urged on by his deep interest in the orphan work. thus, within forty days, the first thousand pounds had been given in answer to prayer, and a pious man, as yet unseen and unknown by mr. muller, had been led to offer his services in providing plans for the new building and superintending its erection. surely god was moving before his servant. for a man, personally penniless, to attempt to erect such a house, on such a scale, without appeal to man and in sole dependence on god was no small venture of faith. the full risk involved in such an undertaking, and the full force of the testimony which it has since afforded to a prayer-hearing god, can be felt only as the full weight of the responsibility is appreciated and all the circumstances are duly considered. first of all, ground must be bought, and it must comprise six or seven acres, and the site must be in or near bristol; for mr. muller's general sphere of work was in the city, the orphans and their helpers should be within reasonable reach of their customary meeting-place, and on many other accounts such nearness to the city was desirable. but such a site would cost from two thousand to three thousand pounds. next the building must be constructed, fitted up, and furnished, with accommodations for three hundred orphans and their overseers, teachers, and various helpers. however plain the building and its furnishings, the total cost would reach from three to four times the price of the site. then, the annual cost of keeping such house open and of maintaining such a large body of inmates would be four or five thousand pounds more. here, then, was a prospective outlay of somewhere between ten thousand and fifteen thousand pounds, for site and building, with a further expense of one third as much more every year. no man so poor as george muller, if at the same time sane, would ever have _thought_ of such a gigantic scheme, much less have undertaken to work it out, if his faith and hope were not fixed on god. mr. muller himself confesses that here lay his whole secret. he was not driven onward by any self-seeking, but drawn onward by a conviction that he was doing the will of god. when constantine was laying out on a vast scale the new capital on the bosphorus, he met the misgivings of those about him who wondered at his audacity, by simply saying, "i am following one who is leading me." george muller's scheme was not self-originated. he followed one who was leading him; and, because confident and conscious of such guidance, he had only to follow, trust, and wait. in proportion as the undertaking was great, he desired god's hand to be very clearly seen. hence he forbore even to seem prominent: he issued no circular, announcing his purpose, and spoke of it only to the few who were in his councils, and even then only as conversation led in that direction. he remembered the promise, "i will guide thee with mine eye," and looking up to god, he took no step unless the divine glance or beck made duty "clear as daylight." as he saw the matter, his whole business was to wait on god in prayer with faith and patience. the assurance became doubly sure that _god would build for himself_ a large orphan house near bristol, to show to all, near and far, what a blessed privilege it is to trust in him. he desired god himself so manifestly to act as that he should be seen by all men to be nothing but his instrument, passive in his hands. meanwhile he went on with his daily search into the word, where he found instruction so rich, and encouragement so timely, that the scriptures seemed written for his special use--to convey messages to him from above. for example, in the opening of the book of ezra, he saw how god, when his time had fully come for the return of his exiled people to their own land and for the rebuilding of his temple, used cyrus, an idolatrous king, to issue an edict, and to provide means for carrying out his own unknown purpose. he saw also how god stirred up the people to help the returning exiles in their work; and he said to himself, this same god can and will, in his own way, supply the money and all the needed help of man, stirring up the hearts of his own children to aid as he may please. the first donations toward the work themselves embody a suggestive lesson. on december th, one thousand pounds had been given in one sum; twenty days later, fifty pounds more; and the next day, three and sixpence, followed, the same evening, by a second gift of a thousand pounds. shortly after, a little bag, made of foreign seeds, and a flower wrought of shells, were sent to be sold for the fund; and, in connection with these last gifts, of very little inherent value, a promise was quoted, which had been prominently before the giver's mind, and which brought more encouragement to mr. muller than any mere sum of money: "who art thou, o great mountain? before zerubbabel, thou shalt become a plain!" (zech. iv. .) gifts, however large, were never estimated by intrinsic worth, but as tokens of god's working in the minds of his people, and of his gracious working with and through his servant; and, for this reason, a thousand pounds caused no more sincere praise to god and no more excitement of mind than the fourpence given subsequently by a poor orphan. specially asking the lord to go before him, mr. muller now began to seek a suitable _site._ about four weeks passed in seemingly fruitless search, when he was strongly impressed that very soon the lord would give the ground, and he so told his helpers on the evening of saturday, january , . within two days, his mind was drawn to _ashley down,_ where he found lots singularly suited for his needs. shortly after, he called twice on the owner, once at his house and again at his office; but on both occasions failing to find him, he only left a message. he judged that god's hand was to be seen _even in his not finding the man he sought,_ and that, having twice failed the same day, he was not to push the matter as though self-willed, but patiently wait till the morrow. when he did find the owner, his patience was unexpectedly rewarded. he confessed that he had spent two wakeful hours in bed, thinking about his land, and about what reply he should make to mr. muller's inquiry as to its sale for an orphan house; and that he had determined, if it were applied for, to ask but one hundred and twenty pounds an acre, instead of two hundred, his previous price. the bargain was promptly completed; and thus the lord's servant, by not being in a hurry, saved, in the purchase of the site of seven acres, five hundred and sixty pounds! mr. muller had asked the lord to go before him, and he had done so in a sense he had not thought of, first speaking about the matter to the owner, holding his eyes waking till he had made clear to him, as his servant and steward, what he would have him do in the sale of that property.* * appendix g. six days after, came the formal offer from the london architect of his services in surveying, in draughting plans, elevations, sections, and specifications, and in overseeing the work of construction; and a week later he came to bristol, saw the site, and pronounced it in all respects well fitted for its purpose. up to june , , the total sum in hand for the building was a little more than twenty-seven hundred pounds, a small part only of the sum needful; but mr. muller felt no doubt that in god's own time all that was required would be given. two hundred and twelve days he had been waiting on god for the way to be opened for building, and he resolved to wait still further until the _whole sum_ was in hand, using for the purpose only such gifts as were specified or left free for that end. he also wisely decided that others must henceforth share the burden, and that he would look out ten brethren of honest report, full of the holy ghost and of wisdom, to act as trustees to hold and administer this property in god's name. he felt that, as this work was now so enlarging, and the foundations of a permanent institution were to be laid, the christian public, who would aid in its erection and support, would be entitled to a representation in its conduct. at such a point as this many others have made a serious mistake, forfeiting confidence by administering public benefactions in a private manner and an autocratic spirit--their own head being the office, and their own pocket the treasury, of a public and benevolent institution. satan again acted as a hinderer. after the ground for the new orphan house had been found, bought and paid for, unforeseen obstacles prevented prompt possession; but mr. muller's peace was not disturbed, knowing even hindrances to be under god's control. if the lord should allow one piece of land to be taken from him, it would only be because he was about to give him one still better; and so the delay only proved his faith and perfected his patience. on july th, two thousand pounds were given--twice as large a gift as had yet come in one donation; and, on january , , another like offering, so that, on july th following, the work of building began. six months later, after four hundred days of waiting upon god for this new orphan house, nine thousand pounds had been given in answer to believing prayer. as the new building approached completion, with its three hundred large windows, and requiring full preparation for the accommodation of about three hundred and thirty inmates, although above eleven thousand pounds had been provided, several thousand more were necessary. but mr. muller was not only helped, but far beyond his largest expectations. up to may , , these latter needs existed, and, had but _one_ serious difficulty remained unremoved, the result must have been failure. but all the necessary money was obtained, and even more, and all the helpers were provided for the oversight of the orphans. on june , , more than twelve years after the beginning of the work, the orphans began to be transferred from the four rented houses on wilson street to the new orphan house on ashley down. five weeks passed before fresh applicants were received, that everything about the new institution might first be brought into complete order by some experience in its conduct. by may , , however, there were in the house two hundred and seventy-five children, and the whole number of inmates was three hundred and eight. the name--"the new orphan _house"_ rather than _"asylum"_--was chosen to distinguish it from another institution, near by; and particularly was it requested that it might never be known as _"mr. muller's_ orphan house," lest undue prominence be given to one who had been merely god's instrument in its erection. he esteemed it a sin to appropriate even indirectly, or allow others to attribute to him, any part of the glory which belonged solely to him who had led in the work, given faith and means for it, and helped in it from first to last. the property was placed in the hands of eleven trustees, chosen by mr. muller, and the deeds were enrolled in chancery. arrangements were made that the house should be open to visitors only on wednesday afternoons, as about one hour and a half were necessary to see the whole building. scarcely were the orphans thus housed on ashley down, before mr. muller's heart felt enlarged desire that one thousand, instead of three hundred, might enjoy such privileges of temporal provision and spiritual instruction; and, before the new year, , had dawned, this yearning had matured into a purpose. with his uniform carefulness and prayerfulness, he sought to be assured that he was not following self-will, but the will of god; and again in the scales of a pious judgment the reasons for and against were conscientiously weighed. would he be going 'beyond his measure,' spiritually, or naturally? was not the work, with its vast correspondence and responsibility, already sufficiently great? would not a new orphan house for three hundred orphans cost another fifteen thousand pounds, or, if built for seven hundred, with the necessary ground, thirty-five thousand? and, even when built and fitted and filled, would there not be the providing for daily wants, which is a perpetual care, and cannot be paid for at once like a site and a building? it would demand eight thousand pounds annual outlay to provide for another seven hundred little ones. to all objections the one all-sufficient answer was the all-sufficient god; and, because mr. muller's eye was on his power, wisdom, and riches, his own weakness, folly, and poverty were forgotten. another objection was suggested: what if he should succeed in thus housing and feeding a thousand poor waifs, what would become of the institution _after his death?_ the reply is memorable: "my business is, with all my might, to _serve my own generation by the will of god:_ in so doing i shall best serve the next generation, should the lord jesus tarry." were such objection valid, it were as valid against beginning any work likely to outlive the worker. and mr. muller remembered how francke at halle had to meet the same objection when, now over two hundred years ago, he founded the largest charitable establishment which, up to , existed in the world. but when, after about thirty years of personal superintendence, francke was taken away, his son-in-law, as we have seen, became the director. that fellow countryman who had spoken to mr. muller's soul in , thus twenty-five years later encouraged him to go forward, to do his own duty and leave the future to the eternal god. several reasons are recorded by mr. muller as specially influencing still further advance: the many applications that could not, for want of room, be accepted; the low moral state of the poorhouses to which these children of poverty were liable to be sent; the large number of distressing cases of orphanhood, known to be deserving of help; the previous experiences of the lord's gracious leading and of the work itself; his calmness in view of the proposed expansion; and the spiritual blessing possible to a larger number of homeless children. but one reason overtopped all others: an enlarged service to man, attempted and achieved solely in dependence upon god, would afford a correspondingly weightier witness to the hearer of prayer. these reasons, here recorded, will need no repetition in connection with subsequent expansions of the work, for, at every new stage of advance, they were what influenced this servant of god. on january , , another offering was received, of three thousand pounds--the largest single donation up to that date--which, being left entirely to his own disposal, encouraged him to go forward. again, he kept his own counsel. up to january th, he had not mentioned, even to his own wife, his thought of a further forward movement, feeling that, to avoid all mistakes, he must first of all get clear light from god, and not darken it by misleading human counsel. not until the twelfth report of the scriptural knowledge institution was issued, was the public apprised of his purpose, with god's help to provide for seven hundred more needy orphans. up to october , , only about eleven hundred pounds had been given directly toward the second proposed orphan house, and, up to may th following, a total of some thirty-five hundred pounds. but george muller remembered one who, "after he had patiently endured, obtained the promise." he had waited over two years before all means needful for the first house had been supplied, and could wait still longer, if so god willed it, for the answers to present prayers for means to build a second. after waiting upwards of nineteen months for the building fund for the second house, and receiving, almost daily, something in answer to prayer, on january , , he had intimation that there were about to be paid him, as _the joint donation of several christians, eighty-one hundred pounds,_ of which he appropriated six thousand for the building fund. again he was not surprised nor excited, though exceeding joyful and triumphant in god. just two years previous, when recording the largest donation yet received,--three thousand pounds,--he had recorded also his expectation of still greater things; and now a donation between two and three times as large was about to come into his hands. it was not the amount of money, however, that gave him his overflowing delight, but the fact that not in vain had he made his boast in god. as now some four hundred and eighty-three orphans were waiting for admission, he was moved to pray that soon the way might be opened for the new building to be begun. james i. was deeply impressed upon him as the injunction now to be kept before him: "but let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect, and entire, wanting nothing." on may , , the total sum available for the new building was about twelve thousand five hundred pounds, and over five hundred orphans had applied. twice this sum would be needed, however, before the new house could be begun without risk of debt. on january , , several christian friends united in the promise that fifty-seven hundred pounds should be paid to him for the work of god, and of this, thirty-four hundred was by him set apart for the building fund. as there were now between seven hundred and eight hundred applicants, it seemed of god that, at least, a site should be secured for another new orphan house; and a few weeks later mr. muller applied for the purchase of two fields adjoining the site of the first house. as they could not, however, be sold at that time, the only resource was to believe that the lord had other purposes, or would give better ground than that on which his servant had set his mind. further thought and prayer suggested to him that two houses could be built instead of one, and located on each side of the existing building, upon the ground already owned. accordingly it was determined to begin, on the south side, the erection of a house to accommodate four hundred orphans, there being money in the bank, or soon to be available, sufficient to build, fit up, and furnish it. on may , , nearly thirty thousand pounds were in hand for the new orphan house no. ; and on november , , this house was opened for four hundred additional orphans, and there was a balance of nearly twenty-three hundred pounds. the god who provided the building furnished the helpers, without either difficulty or advertising. with the beginning of the new year, mr. muller began to lay aside six hundred pounds as the first of the appropriations for the _third_ orphan house, and the steps which led to the accomplishment of this work, also, were identical with those taken hitherto. a purchase was made of additional ground, adjoining the two buildings; and, as there were so many applicants and the cost of providing for a larger number would be but little more, it was determined to build so as to receive four hundred and fifty instead of three hundred, rejoicing that, in every enlargement of the work, it would be more apparent how much one poor man, simply trusting in god, can bring about by prayer; and that thus other children of god might be led to carry on the work of god in dependence solely on him, and generally to trust him more in all circumstances and positions. orphan house no. was opened march , , and with over ten thousand pounds in hand for current expenses. all the helpers needed had not then been supplied, but this delay was only a new incentive to believing prayer: and, instead of _once, thrice,_ a day, god was besought to provide suitable persons. one after another was thus added, and in no case too late, so that the reception of children was not hindered nor was the work embarrassed. still further enlargement seemed needful, for the same reasons as previously. there was an increasing demand for accommodation of new applicants, and past experience of god's wondrous dealings urged him both to attempt and to expect greater things. orphan houses nos. and began to loom up above his horizon of faith. by may , , he had over sixty-six hundred pounds to apply on their erection. in november, , a large donation of five thousand pounds was received from a donor who would let neither his name nor residence be known, and by this time about twenty-seven thousand pounds had thus accumulated toward the fifty thousand required. as more than half the requisite sum was thus in hand, the purchase of a site might safely be made and the foundations for the buildings be laid. mr. muller eyes had, for years, been upon land adjoining the three houses already built, separated from them only by the turnpike road. he called to see the agent, and found that the property was subject to a lease that had yet two years to run. this obstacle only incited to new prayer, but difficulties seemed to increase: the price asked was too high, and the bristol waterworks company was negotiating for this same piece of land for reservoir purposes. nevertheless god successively removed all hindrances, so that the ground was bought and conveyed to the trustees in march, ; and, after the purchase-money was paid, about twenty-five thousand pounds yet remained for the structures. both the cost and the inconvenience of building would be greatly lessened by erecting both houses at the same time; and god was therefore asked for ample means speedily to complete the whole work. in may, , over thirty-four thousand pounds being at mr. muller's disposal, no. was commenced; and in january following, no. also. up to the end of march, , over fifty thousand pounds had been supplied, leaving but six thousand more needful to fit and furnish the two buildings for occupancy. by the opening of february, . fifty-eight thousand pounds in all had been donated; so that, on november , , new orphan house no. , and on january , , no. , were thrown open, a balance of several thousand pounds remaining for general purposes. thus, early in , the orphan work had reached its complete outfit, in five large buildings on ashley down with accommodations for two thousand orphans and for all needed teachers and assistants. thus have been gathered, into one chapter, the facts about the erection of this great monument to a prayer-hearing god on ashley down, though the work of building covered so many years. between the first decision to build, in , and the opening of the third house, in , nearly seventeen years had elapsed, and before no. was opened, in , twenty-five years. the work was one in its plan and purpose. at each new stage it supplies only a wider application and illustration of the same laws of life and principles of conduct, as, from the outset of the work in bristol, had with growing power controlled george muller. his one supreme aim was the glory of god; his one sole resort, believing prayer; his one trusted oracle, the inspired word; and his one divine teacher, the holy spirit. one step taken in faith and prayer had prepared for another; one act of trust had made him bolder to venture upon another, implying a greater apparent risk and therefore demanding more implicit trust. but answered prayer was rewarded faith, and every new risk only showed that there was no risk in confidently leaning upon the truth and faithfulness of god. one cannot but be impressed, in visiting the orphan houses, with several prominent features, and first of all their magnitude. they are very spacious, with about seventeen hundred large windows, and accommodations for over two thousand inmates. they are also very substantial, being built of stone and made to last. they are scrupulously plain; utility rather than beauty seems conspicuously stamped upon them, within and without. economy has been manifestly a ruling law in their construction; the furniture is equally unpretentious and unostentatious; and, as to garniture, there is absolutely none. to some few, they are almost too destitute of embellishment, and mr. muller has been blamed for not introducing some aesthetic features which might relieve this bald utilitarianism and serve to educate the taste of these orphans. to all such criticisms, there are two or three adequate answers. first, mr. muller subordinated everything to his one great purpose, the demonstration of the fact that the living god is the hearer of prayer. second, he felt himself to be the steward of god's property, and he hesitated to spend one penny on what was not necessary to the frugal carrying on of the work of god. he felt that all that could be spared without injury to health, a proper mental training, and a thorough scriptural and spiritual education, should be reserved for the relief of the necessities of the poor and destitute elsewhere. and again, he felt that, as these orphans were likely to be put at service in plain homes, and compelled to live frugally, any surroundings which would accustom them to indulge refined tastes, might by contrast make them discontented with their future lot. and so he studied to promote simply their health and comfort, and to school them to contentment when the necessities of life were supplied. but, more than this, a moment's serious thought will show that, had he surrounded them with those elegancies which elaborate architecture and the other fine arts furnish, he might have been even more severely criticised. he would have been spending the gifts of the poor who often sorely denied themselves for the sake of these orphans, to purchase embellishments or secure decorations which, if they had adorned the humble homes of thousands of donors, would have made their gifts impossible. when we remember how many offerings, numbering tens of thousands, were, like the widow's mites, very small in themselves, yet, relatively to ability, very large, it will be seen how incongruous it would have been to use the gifts, saved only by limiting even the wants of the givers, to buy for the orphans what the donors could not and would not afford for themselves. cleanness, neatness, method, and order, however, everywhere reign, and honest labour has always had, at the orphan houses, a certain dignity. the tracts of land, adjoining the buildings, are set apart as vegetable-gardens, where wholesome exercise is provided for the orphan boys, and, at the same time, work that helps to provide daily food, and thus train them in part to self-support. throughout these houses studious care is exhibited, as to methodical arrangement. each child has a square and numbered compartment for clothes, six orphans being told off, at a time, in each section, to take charge. the boys have each three suits, and the girls, five dresses each, the girls being taught to make and mend their own garments. in the nursery, the infant children have books and playthings to occupy and amuse them, and are the objects of tender maternal care. several children are often admitted to the orphanage from one family, in order to avoid needless breaking of household ties by separation. the average term of residence is about ten years, though some orphans have been there for seventeen. the daily life is laid out with regularity and goes on like clockwork in punctuality. the children rise at six and are expected to be ready at seven, the girls for knitting and the boys for reading, until eight o'clock, when breakfast is served. half an hour later there is a brief morning service, and the school begins at ten. half an hour of recreation on the playground prepares for the one-o'clock dinner, and school is resumed, until four; then comes an hour and a half of play or outdoor exercise, a half-hour service preceding the six-o'clock meal. then the girls ply the needle, and the boys are in school, until bedtime, the younger children going to rest at eight, and the older, at nine. the food is simple, ample, and nutritious, consisting of bread, oatmeal, milk, soups, meat, rice, and vegetables. everything is adjusted to one ultimate end; to use mr. muller's own words: "we aim at this: that, if any of them do not turn out well, temporally or spiritually, and do not become useful members of society, it shall not at least be _our_ fault." the most thorough and careful examination of the whole methods of the institution will only satisfy the visitor that it will not be the fault of those who superintend this work, if the orphans are not well fitted, body and soul, for the work of life, and are not prepared for a blessed immortality. chapter xv the manifold grace of god some one has quaintly said, in commenting upon the twenty-third psalm, that "the coach in which the lord's saints ride has not only a driver, but two footmen"--_"goodness and mercy shall follow me."_ surely these two footmen of the lord, in their celestial livery of grace, followed george muller all the days of his life. wonderful as is the story of the building of those five orphan houses on ashley down, many other events and experiences no less showed the goodness and mercy of god, and must not be unrecorded in these pages, if we are to trace, however imperfectly, his gracious dealings; and having, by one comprehensive view, taken in the story of the orphan homes, we may retrace our steps to the year when the first of these houses was planned, and, following another path, look at mr. muller's personal and domestic life. he himself loved to trace the lord's goodness and mercy, and he saw abundant proofs that they had followed him. a few instances may be given, from different departments of experience, as representative examples. the lord's tender care was manifest as to his beloved daughter lydia. it became clear in the year , that, both for the relief of the mother and the profit of the daughter, it would be better that lydia should be taught elsewhere than at home; and in answer to prayer, her father was divinely directed to a christian sister, whose special gifts in the way of instructing and training children were manifestly from the spirit, who divides unto all believers severally as he will. she seemed to be marked of god, as the woman to whom was to be intrusted the responsible task of superintending the education of lydia. mr. muller both expected and desired to pay for such training, and asked for the account, which in the first instance he paid, but the exact sum was returned to him anonymously; and, for the six remaining years of his daughter's stay, he could get no further bills for her schooling. thus god provided for the board and education of this only child, not only without cost to her parents, but to their intense satisfaction as being under the true "nurture and admonition of the lord;" for while at this school, in april, , lydia found peace in believing, and began that beautiful life in the lord jesus christ, that, for forty-four years afterward, so singularly exhibited his image. many christian parents have made the fatal mistake of intrusting their children's education to those whose gifts were wholly intellectual and not spiritual, and who have misled the young pupils entrusted to their care, into an irreligious or infidel life, or, at best, a career of mere intellectualism and worldly ambition. in not a few instances, all the influences of a pious home have been counteracted by the atmosphere of a school which, if not godless, has been without that fragrance of spiritual devoutness and consecration which is indispensable to the true training of impressible children during the plastic years when character is forming for eternity! goodness and mercy followed mr. and mrs. muller conspicuously in their sojourn in germany in , which covered about three months, from july th to october th. god plainly led to stuttgart, where brethren had fallen into grievous errors and needed again a helping hand. when the strong impression laid hold of mr. muller, more than two months before his departure for the continent, that he was to return there for a season, he began definitely to pray for means to go with, on may rd, and, within a _quarter hour_ after, five hundred pounds were received, the donor specifying that the money was given for all expenses needful, "preparatory to, and attendant upon" this proposed journey. the same goodness and mercy followed all his steps while abroad. provision was made, in god's own strange way, for suitable lodgings in stuttgart, at a time when the city was exceptionally crowded, a wealthy retired surgeon, who had never before rented apartments, being led to offer them. all mr. muller's labours were attended with blessing: during part of the time he held as many as eight meetings a week; and he was enabled to publish eleven tracts in german, and judiciously to scatter over two hundred and twenty thousand of them, as well as nearly four thousand of his narrative, and yet evade interference from the police. one experience of this sojourn abroad should have special mention for the lesson it suggests, both in charity for others' views and loving adaptation to circumstances. a providential opening occurred to address meetings of about one hundred and fifty members of the state church. in his view the character of such assemblies was not wholly conformed to the scripture pattern, and hence did not altogether meet his approval; but such opportunity was afforded to bear testimony for the truth's sake, and to exhibit christian unity upon essentials, for love's sake, that he judged it of the lord that he should enter this open door. those who knew mr. muller but little, but knew his positive convictions and uncompromising loyalty to them, might suspect that he would have little forbearance with even minor errors, and would not bend himself from his stern attitude of inflexibility to accommodate himself to those who were ensnared by them. but those who knew him better, saw that he held fast the form of sound words with faith and love which are in christ jesus. like paul, ever ready to be made all things to all men that by all means he might save some, in his whole character and conduct nothing shone more radiantly beautiful, than love. he felt that he who would lift up others must bow himself to lay hold on them; that to help brethren we must bear with them, not insisting upon matters of minor importance as though they were essential and fundamental. hence his course, instead of being needlessly repellant, was tenderly conciliatory; and it was a conspicuous sign of grace that, while holding his own views of truth and duty so positively and tenaciously, the intolerance of bigotry was so displaced by the forbearance of charity that, when the lord so led and circumstances so required, he could conform for a time to customs whose propriety he doubted, without abating either the earnestness of his conviction or the integrity of his testimony. god's goodness and mercy were seen in the fact that, whenever more liberal things were devised for him, he responded in providing liberally means to carry out such desires. this was abundantly illustrated not only in the orphan work, but in the history of the scriptural knowledge institution; when, for years together, the various branches of this work grew so rapidly, until the point of full development was reached. the time indeed came when, in some departments, it pleased god that contraction should succeed expansion, but even here goodness ruled, for it was afterward seen that it was because _other brethren_ had been led to take up such branches of the lord's work, in all of which developments mr. muller as truly rejoiced as though it had been his work alone that was honoured of god. the aiding of brethren in the mission fields grew more and more dear to his heart, and the means to indulge his unselfish desires were so multiplied that, in , he found, on reviewing the history of the lord's dealings, that he had been enabled to expend about _seven times_ as much of late years as previously. it may here be added, again by way of anticipation, that when, nineteen years later, in , he sat down to apportion to such labourers in the lord as he was wont to assist, the sums he felt it desirable to send to each, he found before him the names of _one hundred and twenty-two_ such! goodness and mercy indeed! here was but one branch of his work, and yet to what proportions and fruitfulness it had grown! he needed four hundred and sixty-six pounds to send them to fill out his appropriations, and he lacked ninety-two of this amount. he carried the lack to the lord, and _that evening_ received five pounds, and the _next morning_ a hundred more, and a further "birthday memorial" of fifty, so that he had in all thirty-seven more than he had asked. what goodness and mercy followed him in the strength he ever had to bear the heavy loads of care incident to his work! the lord's coach bore him and his burdens together. day by day his gracious master preserved his peace unbroken, though disease found its way into this large family, though fit homes and work must be found for outgoing orphans, and fit care and training for incoming orphans; though crises were constantly arising and new needs constantly recurring, grave matters daily demanded prayer and watching, and perpetual diligence and vigilance were needful; for the lord was his helper, and carried all his loads. during the winter of - there was a peculiar season of dearth. would god's goodness and mercy fail? there were those who looked on, more than half incredulous, saying to themselves if not to others, "i wonder how it is now with mr. muller and his orphans! if he is able to provide for them now as he has been, we will say nothing." but all through this time of widespread want his witness was, "we lack nothing: god helps us." faith led when the way was too dark for sight; in fact the darker the road the more was the hand felt that leads the blind by a way they know not. _they went through that winter as easily as through any other from the beginning of the work!_ was it no sign that god's 'footmen' followed george muller that the work never ceased to be both a work of faith and of prayer? that no difficulties or discouragements, no successes or triumphs, ever caused for an hour a departure from the sublime essential principles on which the work was based, or a diversion from the purpose for which it had been built up? we have heard it said of a brother, much honoured of god in beginning a work of faith, that, when it had grown to greater proportions, he seemed to change its base to that of a business scheme. how it glorifies god that the holy enterprise, planted in bristol in , has known no such alteration in its essential features during all these years! though the work grew, and its needs with it, until the expenses were twofold, threefold, fourfold, and, at last, seventyfold what they were when that first orphan house was opened in wilson street, there has been no _change of base,_ never any looking to man for patronage or support, never any dependence upon a regular income or fixed endowment. god has been, all through these years, as at first, the sole patron and dependence. the scriptural knowledge institution has not been wrecked on the rocks of financial failure, nor has it even drifted away from its original moorings in the safe anchorage-ground of the promises of jehovah. was it not goodness and mercy that kept george muller ever grateful as well as faithful! he did not more constantly feel his need of faith and prayer than his duty and privilege of abounding joy and praise. some might think that, after such experiences of answered prayer, one would be less and less moved by them, as the novelty was lost in the uniformity of such interpositions. but no. when, in june, , at a time of sore need, the lord sent, in one sum, three hundred pounds, he could scarcely contain his triumphant joy in god. he walked up and down his room for a long time, his heart overflowing and his eyes too, his mouth filled with laughter and his voice with song, while he gave himself afresh to the faithful master he served. god's blessings were to him always new and fresh. answered prayers never lost the charm of novelty; like flowers plucked fresh every hour from the gardens of god, they never got stale, losing none of their beauty or celestial fragrance. and what goodness and mercy was it that never suffered prayerfulness and patience to relax their hold, either when answers seemed to come fast and thick like snow-flakes, or when the heavens seemed locked up and faith had to wait patiently and long! every day brought new demands for continuance in prayer. in fact, as mr. muller testifies, the only difference between latter and former days was that the difficulties were greater in proportion as the work was larger. but he adds that this was to be expected, for the lord gives faith for the very purpose of trying it for the glory of his own name and the good of him who has the faith, and it is by these very trials that trust learns the secret of its triumphs. goodness and mercy not only guided but also _guarded_ this servant of god. god's footmen bore a protecting shield which was always over him. amid thousands of unseen perils, occasionally some danger was known, though generally after it was passed. while at keswick labouring in , for example, a man, taken deranged while lodging in the same house, shot himself. it afterward transpired that he had an impression that mr. muller had designs on his life, and had he met mr. muller during this insane attack he would probably have shot him with the loaded pistol he carried about on his person. the pathway of this man of god sometimes led through deep waters of affliction, but goodness and mercy still followed, and held him up. in the autumn of , his beloved brother-in-law, mr. a. n. groves, came back from the east indies, very ill; and in may of the next year, after blessed witness for god, he fell asleep at mr. muller's house. to him mr. muller owed much through grace at the outset of his labours in . by his example his faith had been stimulated and helped when, with no visible support or connection with any missionary society, mr. groves had gone to baghdad with wife and children, for the sake of mission work in this far-off field, resigning a lucrative practice of about fifteen hundred pounds a year. the tie between these men was very close and tender and the loss of this brother-in-law gave keen sorrow. in july following, mr. and mrs. muller went through a yet severer trial. lydia, the beloved daughter and only child,--born in and new-born in , and at this time twenty years old and a treasure without price,--was taken ill in the latter part of june, and the ailment developed into a malignant typhoid which, two weeks later, brought her to the gates of death. these parents had to face the prospect of being left childless. but faith triumphed and prayer prevailed. their darling lydia was spared to be, for many years to come, a blessing beyond words, not only to them and to her future husband, but to many others in a wider circle of influence. mr. muller found, in this trial, a special proof of god's goodness and mercy, which he gratefully records, in the growth in grace, evidenced in his entire and joyful acquiescence in the father's will, when, with such a loss apparently before him, his confidence was undisturbed that all things would work together for good. he could not but contrast with this experience of serenity, that broken peace and complaining spirit with which he had met a like trial in august, , twenty-one years before. how, like a magnet among steel filings, the thankful heart finds the mercies and picks them out of the black dust of sorrow and suffering! the second volume of mr. muller's narrative closes with a paragraph in which he formally disclaims as impudent presumption and pretension all high rank as a miracle-worker, and records his regret that any work, based on scriptural promises and built on the simple lines of faith and prayer, should be accounted either phenomenal or fanatical. the common ways of accounting for its success would be absurdly ridiculous and amusing were they not so sadly unbelieving. those who knew little or nothing, either of the exercise of faith or the experience of god's faithfulness, resorted to the most god-dishonouring explanations of the work. some said: "mr. muller is a foreigner; his methods are so novel as to attract attention." others thought that the "annual reports brought in the money," or suggested that he had "a _secret treasure."_ his quiet reply was, that his being a foreigner would be more likely to repel than to attract confidence; that the novelty would scarcely avail him after more than a score of years; that other institutions which issued reports did not always escape want and debt; but, as to the secret treasure to which he was supposed to have access, he felt constrained to confess that there was _more in that supposition than the objectors were aware of._ he had indeed a treasury, inexhaustible--in the promises of a god unchangeably faithful--from which he admits that he had already in drawn for twenty-two years, and in all over one hundred and thirteen thousand pounds. as to the reports, it may be worth while to notice that he never but once in his life advertised the public of any need, and that was the _need of more orphans_--more to care for in the name of the lord--a single and singular ease of advertising, by which he sought not to increase his _income,_ but his _expenditure_--not asking the public to aid him in supporting the needy, but to increase the occasion of his outlay! so far was he from depending upon any such sources of supply as the unbelieving world might think, that it was in the drying up of all such channels that he found the opportunity of his faith and of god's power. the visible treasure was often so small that it was reduced to nothing, but the invisible treasure was god's riches in glory, and could be drawn from without limit. this it was to which he looked alone, and in which he felt that he had a river of supply that can never run dry.* * appendix h. the orphan work had, to mr. muller, many charms which grew on him as he entered more fully into it. while his main hope was to be the means of spiritual health to these children, he had the joy of seeing how god used these homes for the promotion of their physical welfare also, and, in cases not a few, for the entire renovation of their weak and diseased bodies. it must be remembered that most of them owed their orphan condition to that great destroyer, consumption. children were often brought to the orphan houses thoroughly permeated by the poison of bad blood, with diseased tendencies, and sometimes emaciated and half-starved, having had neither proper food nor medical care. for example, in the spring of , four children from five to nine years old, and of one family, were admitted to the orphanage, all in a deplorable state from lack of both nursing and nutrition. it was a serious question whether they should be admitted at all, as such cases tended to turn the institution into a hospital, and absorb undue care and time. but to dismiss them seemed almost inhuman, certainly _inhumane._ so, trusting in god, they were taken in and cared for with parental love. a few weeks later these children were physically unrecognizable, so rapid had been the improvement in health, and probably there were with god's blessing four graves less to be dug. the trials incident to the moral and spiritual condition of the orphans were even greater, however, than those caused by ill health and weakness. when children proved incorrigibly bad, they were expelled, lest they should corrupt others, for the institution was not a _reformatory,_ as it was not a _hospital._ in , a boy, of less than eight years, had to be sent away as a confirmed liar and thief, having twice run off with the belongings of other children and gloried in his juvenile crimes. yet the forbearance exercised even in his case was marvelously godlike, for, during over five years, he had been the subject of private admonitions and prayers and all other methods of reclamation; and, when expulsion became the last resort, he was solemnly and with prayer, before all the others, sent away from the orphan house, that if possible such a course might prove a double blessing, a remedy to him and a warning to others; and even then this young practised sinner was followed, in his expulsion, by loving supplication. towards the end of november, , it was found that a serious leak in the boiler of the heating apparatus of house no. would make repairs at once necessary, and as the boilers were encased in bricks and a new boiler might be required, such repairs must consume time. meanwhile how could three hundred children, some of them very young and tender, be kept warm? even if gas-stoves could be temporarily set up, chimneys would be needful to carry off the impure air; and no way of heating was available during repairs, even if a hundred pounds were expended to prevent risk of cold. again mr. muller turned to the living god, and, trusting in him, decided to have the repairs begun. a day or so before the fires had to be put out, a bleak north wind set in. the work could no longer be delayed; yet weather, prematurely cold for the season, threatened these hundreds of children with hurtful exposure. the lord was boldly appealed to. "lord, these are _thy_ orphans: be pleased to change this north wind into a south wind, and give the workmen a mind to work that the job may be speedily done." the evening before the repairs actually began, the cold blast was still blowing; but _on that day a south wind blew, and the weather was so mild that no fire was needful!_ not only so, but, as mr. muller went into the cellar with the overseer of the work, to see whether the repairs could in no way be expedited, he heard him say, in the hearing of the men, "they will work late this evening, and come very early again to-morrow." _"we would rather, sir,"_ was the reply, _"work all night."_ and so, within about thirty hours, the fire was again burning to heat the water in the boiler; and, until the apparatus was again in order, that merciful soft south wind had continued to blow. goodness and mercy were following the lord's humble servant, made the more conspicuous by the crises of special trial and trouble. every new exigency provoked new prayer and evoked new faith. when, in , several boys were ready to be apprenticed, and there were no applications such as were desired, prayer was the one resort, as advertising would tend to bring applications from masters who sought apprentices for the sake of the premium. but every one of the eighteen boys was properly bound over to a christian master, whose business was suitable and who would receive the lad into his own family. about the same time one of the drains was obstructed which runs about eleven feet underground. when three holes had been dug and as many places in the drain tapped in vain, prayer was offered that in the fourth case the workmen might be guided to the very spot where the stoppage existed--and the request was literally answered. three instances of marked deliverance, in answer to prayer, are specially recorded for the year between may , , and the same date in , which should not be passed by without at least a mention. first, in the great drought of the summer of , when the fifteen large cisterns in the three orphan houses were empty, and the nine deep wells, and even the good spring which had never before failed, were almost all dry. two or three thousand gallons of water were daily required, and daily prayer was made to the god of the rain. see how god provided, while pleased to withhold the supply from above! a farmer, near by, supplied, from his larger wells, about half the water needful, the rest being furnished by the half-exhausted wells on ashley down; and, when he could no longer spare water, without a day's interval, another farmer offered a supply from a brook which ran through his fields, and thus there was abundance until the rains replenished cisterns and wells.* * about twenty years later the bristol water works co. introduced pipes and thus a permanent and unfailing supply. second, when, for three years, scarlet and typhus fevers and smallpox, being prevalent in bristol and the vicinity threatened the orphans, prayer was again made to him who is the god of health as well as of rain. there was no case of scarlet or typhus fever during the whole time, though smallpox was permitted to find an entrance into the smallest of the orphan houses. prayer was still the one resort. the disease spread to the other houses, until at one time fifteen were ill with it. the cases, however, were mercifully light, and the lord was besought to allow the epidemic to spread _no further._ not another child was taken; and when, after nine months, the disease altogether disappeared, not one child had died of it, and only one teacher or adult had had an attack, and that was very mild. what ravages the disease might have made among the twelve hundred inmates of these orphan houses, had it then prevailed as later, in ! third, tremendous gales visited bristol and neighbourhood in january, . the roofs of the orphan houses were so injured as to be laid open in at least twenty places, and large panes of glass were broken. the day was saturday, and no glazier and slater could be had before monday. so the lord of wind and weather was besought to protect the exposed property during the interval. the wind calmed down, and the rain was restrained until midday of wednesday, when the repairs were about finished, but heavy rainfalls drove the slaters from the roof. one exposed opening remained and much damage threatened; but, in answer to prayer, the rain was stayed, and the work resumed. no damage had been done while the last opening was unrepaired for it had exposed the building from the _south,_ while the rain came from the _north._ mr. muller records these circumstances with his usual particularity, as part of his witness to the living god, and to the goodness and mercy that closely and continually followed him. during the next year, - , scarlet fever broke out in the orphanage. in all thirty-nine children were ill, but all recovered. whooping-cough also made its appearance; but though, during that season, it was not only very prevalent but very malignant in bristol, in all the three houses there were but seventeen cases, and the only fatal one was that of a little girl with constitutionally weak lungs. during this same year, however, the spirit of god wrought mightily among the girls, as in the previous year among the boys, so that over one hundred became deeply earnest seekers after salvation; and so, even in tribulation, consolation abounded in christ. mr. muller and his wife and helpers now implored god to deepen and broaden this work of his spirit. towards the end of the year closing in may, , emma bunn, an orphan girl of seventeen, was struck with consumption. though, for fourteen years, she had been under mr. muller's care, she was, in this dangerous illness, still careless and indifferent; and, as she drew near to death, her case continued as hopeless as ever. prayer was unceasing for her; and it pleased god suddenly to reveal christ to her as her saviour. great self-loathing now at once took the place of former indifference; confession of sin, of previous callousness of conscience; and unspeakable joy in the lord, of former apathy and coldness. it was a spiritual miracle--this girl's sudden transformation into a witness for god, manifesting deepest conviction for past sin and earnest concern for others. her thoughtless and heedless state had been so well known that her conversion and dying messages were now the lord's means of the _most extensive and god-glorifying work ever wrought up to that time among the orphans._ in one house alone three hundred and fifty were led to seek peace in believing. what lessons lie hidden--nay, lie on the very surface--to be read of every willing observer of these events! prayer can break even a hard heart; a memory, stored with biblical truth and pious teaching, will prove, when once god's grace softens the heart and unlooses the tongue, a source of both personal growth in grace and of capacity for wide service to others. we are all practically too careless of the training of children, and too distrustful of young converts. mr. muller was more and more impressed by the triumphs of the grace of god as seen in children converted at the tender age of nine or ten and holding the beginning of their confidence steadfast unto the end. these facts and experiences, gleaned, like handfuls of grain, from a wide field, show the character both of the seed sown and the harvest reaped, from the sowing. again, when, in , cholera developed in england, in answer to special prayer _not one_ case of this disease was known in the orphan houses; and when, in the same autumn, whooping-cough and measles broke out, though eight children had the former and two hundred and sixty-two, the latter, not one child died, or was afterward debilitated by the attack. from may, , to may, , out of over thirteen hundred children under care, only eleven died, considerably less than one per cent. that severe and epidemic disease should find its way into the orphanages at all may seem strange to those who judge god's faithfulness by appearances, but many were the compensations for such trials. by them not only were the hearts of the children often turned to god, but the hearts of helpers in the institution were made more sympathetic and tender, and the hearts of god's people at large were stirred up to practical and systematic help. god uses such seeming calamities as 'advertisements' of his work; many who would not have heard of the institution, or on whom what they did hear would have made little impression, were led to take a deep interest in an orphanage where thousands of little ones were exposed to the ravages of some malignant and dangerous epidemic. looking back, in , after thirty-one years, upon the work thus far done for the lord, mr. muller gratefully records that, during the entire time, he had been enabled to hold fast the original principles on which the work was based on march , . he had never once gone into debt; he had sought for the institution no patron but the living god; and he had kept to the line of demarcation between believers and unbelievers, in all his seeking for active helpers in the work. his grand purpose, in all his labours, having been, from the beginning, the glory of god, in showing what could be done through prayer and faith, without any leaning upon man, his unequivocal testimony is: "hitherto hath the lord helped us." though for about five years they had, almost daily, been in the constant trial of faith, they were as constantly proving his faithfulness. the work had rapidly grown, till it assumed gigantic proportions, but so did the help of god keep pace with all the needs and demands of its growth. in january, , mr. henry craik, who had for thirty-six years been mr. muller's valued friend, and, since , his coworker in bristol, fell asleep after an illness of seven months. in devonshire these two brethren had first known each other, and the acquaintance had subsequently ripened, through years of common labour and trial, into an affection seldom found among men. they were nearly of an age, both being a little past sixty when mr. craik died. the loss was too heavy to have been patiently and serenely borne, had not the survivor known and felt beneath him the everlasting arms. and even this bereavement, which in one aspect was an irreparable loss, was seen to be only another proof of god's love. the look ahead might be a dark one, the way desolate and even dangerous, but goodness and mercy were still following very close behind, and would in every new place of danger or difficulty be at hand to help over hard places and give comfort and cheer in the night season. chapter xvi the shadow of a great sorrow "with clouds he covereth the light." no human life is without some experience of clouded skies and stormy days, and sometimes "the clouds return after the rain." it is a blessed experience to recognize the silver lining on the darkest storm cloud, and, better still, to be sure of the shining of god's light behind a sky that seems wholly and hopelessly overcast. the year was made forever pathetically memorable by the decease of mrs. muller, who lived just long enough to see the last of the new orphan houses opened. from the outset of the work in november, , for more than thirty-four years, this beloved, devoted wife had been also a sympathetic helper. this wedded life had approached very near to the ideal of connubial bliss, by reason of mutual fitness, common faith in god and love for his work, and long association in prayer and service. in their case, the days of courtship were never passed; indeed the tender and delicate mutual attentions of those early days rather increased than decreased as the years went on; and the great maxim was both proven and illustrated, that the secret of winning love is the secret of keeping it. more than that, such affection grows and becomes more and more a fountain of mutual delight. never had his beloved "mary" been so precious to her husband as during the very year of her departure. this marriage union was so happy that mr. muller could not withhold his loving witness that he never saw her at any time after she became his wife, without a new feeling of delight. and day by day they were wont to find at least a few moments of rest together, sitting after dinner, hand in hand, in loving intercourse of mind and heart, made the more complete by this touch of physical contact, and, whether in speech or silence, communing in the lord. their happiness in god and in each other was perennial, perpetual, growing as the years fled by. mr. muller's solemn conviction was that all this wedded bliss was due to the fact that she was not only a devoted christian, but that their one united object was to live only and wholly for god; that they had always abundance of work for god, in which they were heartily united; that this work was never allowed to interfere with the care of their own souls, or their seasons of private prayer and study of the scriptures; and that they were wont daily, and often thrice a day, to secure a time of united prayer and praise when they brought before the lord the matters which at the time called for thanksgiving and supplication. mrs. muller had never been a very vigorous woman, and more than once had been brought nigh unto death. in october, , after twenty-nine years of wedded life and love, she had been laid aside by rheumatism and had continued in great suffering for about nine months, quite helpless and unable to work; but it was felt to be a special mark of god's love and faithfulness that this very affliction was used by him to reestablish her in health and strength, the compulsory rest made necessary for the greater part of a year being in mr. muller's judgment a means of prolonging her life and period of service for the ten years following. thus a severe trial met by them both in faith had issued in much blessing both to soul and body. the closing scenes of this beautiful life are almost too sacred to be unveiled to common eyes. for some few years before her departure, it was plain that her health and vitality were declining. with difficulty could she be prevailed on, however, to abate her activity, or, even when a distressing cough attacked her, to allow a physician to be called. her husband carefully guarded and nursed her, and by careful attention to diet and rest, by avoidance of needless exposure, and by constant resort to prayer, she was kept alive through much weakness and sometimes much pain. but, on saturday night, february th, she found that she had not the use of one of her limbs, and it was obvious that the end was nigh. her own mind was clear and her own heart at peace. she herself remarked, "he will soon come." and a few minutes after four in the afternoon of the lord's day, february , , she sweetly passed from human toils and trials, to be forever with the lord. under the weight of such a sorrow, most men would have sunk into depths of almost hopeless despair. but this man of god, sustained by a divine love, at once sought for occasions of thanksgiving; and, instead of repining over his loss, gratefully remembered and recorded the goodness of god in _taking_ such a wife, releasing her saintly spirit from the bondage of weakness, sickness, and pain, rather than leaving her to a protracted suffering and the mute agony of helplessness; and, above all, introducing her to her heart's desire, the immediate presence of the lord jesus, and the higher service of a celestial sphere. is not that grief akin to selfishness which dwells so much on our own deprivations as to be oblivious of the ecstatic gain of the departed saints who, withdrawn from us and absent from the body, are at home with the lord? it is only in those circumstances of extreme trial which prove to ordinary men a crushing weight, that implicit faith in the father's unfailing wisdom and love proves its full power to sustain. where self-will is truly lost in the will of god, the life that is hidden in him is most radiantly exhibited in the darkest hour. the death of this beloved wife afforded an illustration of this. within a few hours after this withdrawal of her who had shared with him the planning and working of these long years of service, mr. muller went to the monday-evening prayer meeting, then held in salem chapel, to mingle his prayers and praises as usual with those of his brethren. with a literally shining countenance, he rose and said: "beloved brethren and sisters in christ, i ask you to join with me in hearty praise and thanksgiving to my precious lord for his loving kindness in having taken my darling, beloved wife out of the pain and suffering which she has endured, into his own presence; and as i rejoice in everything that is for her, happiness, so i now rejoice as i realize how far happier she is, in beholding her lord whom she loved so well, than in any joy she has known or could know here. i ask you also to pray that the lord will so enable me to have fellowship in her joy that my bereaved heart may be occupied with her blessedness instead of my unspeakable loss." these remarkable words are supplied by one who was himself present and on whose memory they made an indelible impression. this occurrence had a marked effect upon all who were at that meeting. mrs. muller was known by all as a most valuable, lovely, and holy woman and wife. after nearly forty years of wedded life and love, she had left the earthly home for the heavenly. to her husband she had been a blessing beyond description, and to her daughter lydia, at once a wise and tender mother and a sympathetic companion. the loss to them both could never be made up on earth. yet in these circumstances this man of god had grace given to forget his own and his daughter's irreparable loss, and to praise god for the unspeakable gain to the departed wife and mother. the body was laid to rest on february th, many thousands of sorrowing friends evincing the deepest sympathy. twelve hundred orphans mingled in the funeral procession, and the whole staff of helpers so far as they could be spared from the houses. the bereaved husband strangely upheld by the arm of the almighty friend in whom he trusted, took upon himself the funeral service both at chapel and cemetery. he was taken seriously ill afterward, but, as soon as his returning strength allowed, he preached his wife's funeral sermon--another memorable occasion. it was the supernatural serenity of his peace in the presence of such a bereavement that led his attending physician to say to a friend, "i have never before seen so _unhuman_ a man." yes, _un_human indeed, though far from _in_human, lifted above the weakness of mere humanity by a power not of man. that funeral sermon was a noble tribute to the goodness of the lord even in the great affliction of his life. the text was: _"thou art good and doest good."_ (psalm cxix. .) its three divisions were: "the lord was good and did good: first, in giving her to me; second in so long leaving her to me; and third, in taking her from me." it is happily preserved in mr. muller's journal, and must be read to be appreciated.* * narrative, iii. - . this union, begun in prayer, was in prayer sanctified to the end. mrs. muller's chief excellence lay in her devoted piety. she wore that one ornament which is in the sight of god of great price--the meek and quiet spirit; the beauty of the lord her god was upon her. she had sympathetically shared her husband's prayers and tears during all the long trial-time of faith and patience, and partaken of all the joys and rewards of the triumph hours. mr. muller's own witness to her leaves nothing more to be added, for it is the tribute of him who knew her longest and best. he writes: "she was god's own gift, exquisitely suited to me even in natural temperament. thousands of times i said to her, 'my darling, god himself singled you out for me, as the most suitable wife i could possibly wish to have had.'" as to culture, she had a basis of sensible practical education, surmounted and adorned by ladylike accomplishments which she had neither time nor inclination to indulge in her married life. not only was she skilled in the languages and in such higher studies as astronomy, but in mathematics also; and this last qualification made her for thirty-four years an invaluable help to her husband, as month by month she examined all the account-books, and the hundreds of bills of the matrons of the orphan houses, and with the eye of an expert detected the least mistake. all her training and natural fitness indicated a providential adaptation to her work, like "the round peg in the round hole." her practical education in needlework, and her knowledge of the material most serviceable for various household uses, made her competent to direct both in the purchase and manufacture of cloths and other fabrics for garments, bed-linen, etc. she moved about those orphan houses like an angel of love, taking unselfish delight in such humble ministries as preparing neat, clean beds to rest the little ones, and covering them with warm blankets in cold weather. for the sake of him who took little children in his arms, she became to these thousands of destitute orphans a nursing mother. shortly after her death, a letter was received from a believing orphan some seventeen years before sent out to service, asking, in behalf also of others formerly in the houses, permission to erect a stone over mrs. muller's grave as an expression of love and grateful remembrance. consent being given, hundreds of little offerings came in from orphans who during the twenty-five years previous had been under her motherly oversight--a beautiful tribute to her worth and a touching offering from those who had been to her as her larger family. the dear daughter lydia had, two years before mrs. muller's departure, found in one of her mother's pocketbooks a sacred memorandum in her own writing, which she brought to her bereaved father's notice two days after his wife had departed. it belongs among the precious relics of her history. it reads as follows: "should it please the lord to remove m. m. [mary muller] by a sudden dismissal, let none of the beloved survivors consider that it is in the way of judgment, either to her or to them. she has so often, when enjoying conscious nearness to the lord, felt how sweet it would be now to depart and to be _forever_ with jesus, that nothing but the shock it would be to her beloved husband and child, etc. has checked in her the longing desire that _thus_ her happy spirit might take its flight. precious jesus! thy will in this as in everything else, and not hers, be done!" these words were to mr. muller her last legacy; and with the comfort they gave him, the loving sympathy of his precious lydia who did all that a daughter could do to fill a mother's place, and with the remembrance of him who hath said, 'i will never leave thee nor forsake thee,' he went on his lonely pilgrim way, rejoicing in the lord, feeling nevertheless a wound in his heart, that seemed rather to deepen than to heal. sixteen months passed, when mr. james wright, who like mr. muller had been bereft of his companion, asked of him the hand of the beloved lydia in marriage. the request took mr. muller wholly by surprise, but he felt that, to no man living, could he with more joyful confidence commit and intrust his choicest remaining earthly treasure; and, ever solicitous for others' happiness rather than his own, he encouraged his daughter to accept mr. wright's proffered love, when she naturally hesitated on her father's account. on november , , they were married, and began a life of mutual prayer and sympathy which, like that of her father and mother, proved supremely and almost ideally happy, helpful, and useful. while as yet this event was only in prospect, mr. muller felt his own lonely condition keenly, and much more in view of his daughter's expected departure to her husband's home. he felt the need of some one to share intimately his toils and prayers, and help him in the lord's work, and the persuasion grew upon him that it was god's will that he should marry again. after much prayer, he determined to ask miss susannah grace sangar to become his wife, having known her for more than twenty-five years as a consistent disciple, and believing her to be well fitted to be his helper in the lord. accordingly, fourteen days after his daughter's marriage to mr. wright, he entered into similar relations with miss sangar, who for years after joined him in prayer, unselfish giving, and labours for souls. the second mrs. muller was of one mind with her husband as to the stewardship of the lord's property. he found her poor, for what she had once possessed she had lost; and had she been rich he would have regarded her wealth as an obstacle to marriage, unfitting her to be his companion in a self-denial based on scriptural principle. riches or hoarded wealth would have been to both of them a snare, and so she also felt; so that, having still, before her marriage, a remnant of two hundred pounds, she at once put it at the lord's disposal, thus joining her husband in a life of voluntary poverty; and although subsequent legacies were paid to her, she continued to the day of her death to be poor for the lord's sake. the question had often been asked mr. muller what would become of the work when he, the master workman, should be removed. men find it hard to get their eyes off the instrument, and remember that there is only, strictly speaking, one agent, for an agent is _one who works,_ and an instrument is what _the agent works with._ though provision might be made, in a board of trustees, for carrying on the orphan work, where would be found the man to take the direction of it, a man whose spirit was so akin to that of the founder that he would trust in god and depend on him just as mr. muller had done before him? such were the inquiries of the somewhat doubtful or fearful observers of the great and many-branched work carried on under mr. muller's supervision. to all such questions he had always one answer ready--his one uniform solution of all cares and perplexities: _the living god._ he who had built the orphan houses could maintain them; he who had raised up one humble man to oversee the work in his name, could provide for a worthy successor, like joshua who not only _followed_ but _succeeded_ moses. jehovah of hosts is not limited in resources. nevertheless much prayer was offered that the lord would provide such a successor, and, in mr. james wright, the prayer was answered. he was not chosen, as mr. muller's son-in-law, for the choice was made before his marriage to lydia muller was even thought of by him. for more than thirty years, even from his boyhood, mr. wright had been well known to mr. muller, and his growth in the things of god had been watched by him. for thirteen years he had already been his "right hand" in all most important matters; and, for nearly all of that time, had been held up before god as his successor, in the prayers of mr. and mrs. muller, both of whom felt divinely assured that god would fit him more and more to take the entire burden of responsibility. when, in , the wife fell asleep in jesus, and mr. muller was himself ill, he opened his heart to mr. wright as to the succession. humility led him to shrink from such a post, and his then wife feared it would prove too burdensome for him; but all objections were overborne when it was seen and felt to be god's call. it was twenty-one months after this, when, in november, , mr. wright was married to mr. muller's only daughter and child, so that it is quite apparent that he had neither sought the position he now occupies, nor was he appointed to it because he was mr. muller's son-in-law, for, at that time, his first wife was living and in health. from may, , therefore, mr. wright _shared_ with his father-in-law the responsibilities of the institution, and gave him great joy as a partner and successor in full sympathy with all the great principles on which his work had been based. a little over three years after mr. muller's second marriage, in march, , mrs. muller was taken ill, and became, two days later, feverish and restless, and after about two weeks was attacked with hemorrhage which brought her also very near to the gates of death. she rallied; but fever and delirium followed and obstinate sleeplessness, till, for a second time, she seemed at the point of death. indeed so low was her vitality that, as late as april th, a most experienced london physician said that he had never known any patient to recover from such an illness; and thus a third time all human hope of restoration seemed gone. and yet, in answer to prayer, mrs. muller was raised up, and in the end of may, was taken to the seaside for change of air, and grew rapidly stronger until she was entirely restored. thus the lord spared her to be the companion of her husband in those years of missionary touring which enabled him to bear such worldwide witness. out of the shadow of his griefs this beloved man of god ever came to find that divine refreshment which is as the "shadow of a great rock in a weary land." chapter xvii the period of world-wide witness god's real answers to prayer are often seeming denials. beneath the outward request he hears the voice of the inward desire, and he responds to the mind of the spirit rather than to the imperfect and perhaps mistaken words in which the yearning seeks expression. moreover, his infinite wisdom sees that a larger blessing may be ours only by the withholding of the lesser good which we seek; and so all true prayer trusts him to give his own answer, not in our way or time, or even to our own expressed desire, but rather to his own unutterable groaning within us which he can interpret better than we. monica, mother of augustine, pleaded with god that her dissolute son might not go to rome, that sink of iniquity; but he was permitted to go, and thus came into contact with ambrose, bishop of milan, through whom he was converted. god fulfilled the mother's _desire_ while denying her _request._ when george muller, five times within the first eight years after conversion, had offered himself as a missionary, god had blocked his way; now, at sixty-five, he was about to permit him, in a sense he had never dreamed of, to be a missionary to the world. from the beginning of his ministry he had been more or less an itinerant, spending no little time in wanderings about in britain and on the continent; but now he was to go to the regions beyond and spend the major part of seventeen years in witnessing to the prayer-hearing god. these extensive missionary tours occupied the evening of mr. muller's useful life, from to . they reached, more or less, over europe, america, asia, africa, and australia; and would of themselves have sufficed for the work of an ordinary life. they had a singular suggestion. while, in , compelled by mrs. muller's health to seek a change of air, he was preaching in the isle of wight, and a beloved christian brother for whom he had spoken, himself a man of much experience in preaching, told him how 'that day had been the happiest of his whole life'; and this remark, with others like it previously made, so impressed him that the lord was about to use him to help on believers outside of bristol, that he determined no longer to confine his labours in the word and doctrine to any one place, but to go wherever a door might open for his testimony. in weighing this question he was impressed with seven reasons or motives, which led to these tours: . to _preach the gospel_ in its simplicity, and especially to show how salvation is based, not upon feelings or even upon faith, but upon the finished work of christ; that justification is ours the moment we believe, and we are to accept and claim our place as accepted in the beloved without regard to our inward states of feeling or emotion. . to _lead believers to know their saved state,_ and to realize their standing in christ, great numbers not only of disciples, but even preachers and pastors, being themselves destitute of any real peace and joy in the lord, and hence unable to lead others into joy and peace. . to _bring believers back to the scriptures,_ to search the word and find its hidden treasures; to test everything by this divine touchstone and hold fast only what will stand this test; to make it the daily subject of meditative and prayerful examination in order to translate it into daily obedience. . to _promote among all true believers, brotherly love;_ to lead them to make less of those non-essentials in which disciples differ, and to make more of those great essential and foundation truths in which all true believers are united; to help all who love and trust one lord to rise above narrow sectarian prejudices, and barriers to fellowship. . to _strengthen the faith of believers,_ encouraging a simpler trust, and a more real and unwavering confidence in god, and particularly in the sure answers to believing prayer, based upon his definite promises. . to _promote separation from the world_ and deadness to it, and so to increase heavenly-mindedness in children of god; at the same time warning against fanatical extremes and extravagances, such as sinless perfection while in the flesh. . and finally to _fix the hope of disciples on the blessed coming of our lord jesus;_ and, in connection therewith, to instruct them as to the true character and object of the present dispensation, and the relation of the church to the world in this period of the out-gathering of the bride of christ. these seven objects may be briefly epitomized thus: mr. muller's aim was to lead sinners to believe on the name of the son of god, and so to _have eternal life;_ to help those who have thus believed, to _know_ that they have this life; to teach them so to _build up_ themselves on their most holy faith, by diligent searching into the word of god, and praying in the holy ghost, as that this life shall be more and more a real possession and a conscious possession; to promote among all disciples the _unity of the spirit_ and the _charity_ which is the bond of perfectness, and to help them to exhibit that life before the world; to incite them to cultivate an _unworldly and spiritual type of character_ such as conforms to the life of god in them; to lead them to the _prayer of faith_ which is both the expression and the expansion of the life of faith; and to direct their hope to the _final appearing of the lord,_ so that they should purify themselves even as he is pure, and occupy till he comes. mr. muller was thus giving himself to the double work of evangelization and edification, on a scale commensurate with his love for a dying world, as opportunity afforded doing good unto all men, and especially to them who are of the household of faith. of these long and busy missionary journeys, it is needful to give only the outline, or general survey. march , is an important date, for it marks the starting-point. he himself calls this "the beginning of his missionary tours." from bristol he went to brighton, lewes, and sunderland--on the way to sunderland preaching to a great audience in the metropolitan tabernacle, at mr. spurgeon's request--then to newcastle-on-tyne, and back to london, where he spoke at the mildmay park conference, talbot road tabernacle, and 'edinburgh castle.' this tour closed, june th, after seventy addresses in public, during about ten weeks. less than six weeks passed, when, on august th, the second tour began, in which case the special impulse that moved him was a desire to follow up the revival work of mr. moody and mr. sankey. their short stay in each place made them unable to lead on new converts to higher attainments in knowledge and grace, and there seemed to be a call for some instruction fitted to confirm these new believers in the life of obedience. mr. muller accordingly followed these evangelists in england, ireland, and scotland, staying in each place from one week to six, and seeking to educate and edify those who had been led to christ. among the places visited on this errand in , were london; then kilmarnock, saltwater, dundee, perth, glasgow, kirkentilloch in scotland, and dublin in ireland; then, returning to england, he went to leamington, warwick, kenilworth, coventry, rugby, etc. in some cases, notably at mildmay park, dundee and glasgow, liverpool and dublin, the audiences numbered from two thousand to six thousand, but everywhere rich blessing came from above. this second tour extended into the new year, , and took in liverpool, york, kendal, carlisle, annan, edinburgh, arbroath, montrose, aberdeen, and other places; and when it closed in july, having lasted nearly eleven months, mr. muller had preached at least three hundred and six times, an average of about one sermon a day, exclusive of days spent in travel. so acceptable and profitable were these labours that there were over one hundred invitations urged upon him which he was unable to accept. the third tour was on the continent. it occupied most of the year closing may , , and embraced paris, various places in switzerland, prussia and holland, alsace, wurtemberg, baden, hesse darmstadt, etc. altogether over three hundred addresses were given in about seventy cities and villages to all of which he had been invited by letter. when this tour closed more than sixty written invitations remained unaccepted, and mr. muller found that, through his work and his writings, he was as well known in the continental countries visited, as in england. turning now toward america, the fourth tour extended from august, , to june of the next year. for many years invitations had been coming with growing frequency, from the united states and canada; and of late their urgency led him to recognize in them the call of god, especially as he thought of the many thousands of germans across the atlantic, who as they heard him speak in their own native tongue would keep the more silence. (acts xxii. .) mr. and mrs. muller, landing at quebec, thence went to the united states, where, during ten months, his labours stretched over a vast area, including the states of new york, new jersey, massachusetts, pennsylvania, maryland, district of columbia, virginia, south carolina, georgia, florida, alabama, louisiana, and missouri. thus having swept round the atlantic sea-border, he crossed to the pacific coast, and returning visited salt lake city in utah--the very centre and stronghold of mormonism--illinois, ohio, etc. he spoke frequently to large congregations of germans, and, in the southern states, to the coloured population; but he regarded no opportunity for service afforded him on this tour as so inspiring as the repeated meetings with and for ministers, evangelists, pastors, and christian workers; and, next to them in importance, his interviews with large bodies of students and professors in the universities, colleges, theological seminaries, and other higher schools of education. to cast the salt of the gospel into the very springs of social influence, the sources whence power flows, was to him a most sacred privilege. his singular catholicity, charity, and humility drew to him even those who differed with him, and all denominations of christians united in giving him access to the people. during this tour he spoke three hundred times, and travelled nearly ten thousand miles; over one hundred invitations being declined, for simple lack of time and strength. after a stay in bristol of about two months, on september , , he and his wife began the fifth of these missionary tours. in this case, it was on the continent, where he ministered in english, german, and french; and in spain and italy, when these tongues were not available, his addresses were through an interpreter. many open doors the lord set before him, not only to the poorer and humbler classes, but to those in the middle and higher ranks. in the riviera, he had access to many of the nobility and aristocracy, who from different countries sought health and rest in the equable climate of the mediterranean, and at mentone he and mr. spurgeon held sweet converse. in spain mr. muller was greatly gladdened by seeing for himself the schools, entirely supported by the funds of the scriptural knowledge institution, and by finding that, in hundreds of cases, even popish parents so greatly valued these schools that they continued to send their children, despite both the threats and persuasions of the romish priests. he found, moreover, that the pupils frequently at their homes read to their parents the word of god and sang to them the gospel hymns learned at these schools, so that the influence exerted was not bounded by its apparent horizon, as diffused or refracted sunlight reaches with its illumining rays far beyond the visible track of the orb of day. the work had to contend with governmental opposition. when a place was first opened at madrid for gospel services, a sign was placed outside, announcing the fact. official orders were issued that the sign should be painted over, so as to obliterate the inscription. the painter of the sign, unwilling both to undo his own work and to hinder the work of god, painted the sign over with water-colours, which would leave the original announcement half visible, and would soon be washed off by the rains; whereupon the government sent its own workman to daub the sign over with thick oil-colour. mr. muller, ready to preach the gospel to those at rome also, felt his spirit saddened and stirred within him, as he saw that city wholly given to idolatry--not pagan but papal idolatry--the rome not of the caesars, but of the popes. while at naples he ascended vesuvius. those masses of lava, which seemed greater in bulk than the mountain itself, more impressed him with the power of god than anything else he had ever seen. as he looked upon that smoking cone, and thought of the liquid death it had vomited forth, he said within himself, "what cannot god do!" he had before felt somewhat of his almightiness in love and grace, but he now saw its manifestation in judgment and wrath. his visit to the vaudois valleys, where so many martyrs had suffered banishment and imprisonment, loss of goods and loss of life for jesus' sake, moved him to the depths of his being and stimulated in him the martyr spirit. when he arrived again in bristol, june , , he had been absent nine months and twelve days, and preached two hundred and eighty-six times and in forty-six towns and cities. after another ten weeks in bristol, he and his wife sailed again for america, the last week of august, , landing at new york the first week in september. this visit took in the states lying between the atlantic ocean and the valley of the mississippi--new york and new jersey, ohio, indiana, michigan and illinois, wisconsin, iowa, minnesota--and, from london and hamilton to quebec, canada also shared the blessing. this visit covered only two hundred and seventy-two days, but he preached three hundred times, and in over forty cities. over one hundred and fifty written invitations still remained without response, and the number increased the longer his stay. mr. muller therefore assuredly gathered that the lord called him to return to america, after another brief stay at bristol, where he felt it needful to spend a season annually, to keep in close touch with the work at home and relieve mr. and mrs. wright of their heavy responsibilities, for a time. accordingly on september , , again turning from bristol, these travellers embarked the next day on their seventh mission tour, landing, ten days later, at quebec. mr. muller had a natural antipathy to the sea, in his earlier crossing to the continent having suffered much from sea-sickness; but he had undertaken these long voyages, not for his own pleasure or profit, but wholly on god's errand; and he felt it to be a peculiar mark of the loving-kindness of the lord that, while he was ready to endure any discomfort, or risk his life for his sake, he had not in his six crossings of the atlantic suffered in the least, and on this particular voyage was wholly free from any indisposition. from quebec he went to massachusetts, connecticut, new york, new jersey, and pennsylvania. among other places of special interest were boston, plymouth--the landing-place of the pilgrims,--wellesley and south hadley colleges--the great schools for woman's higher education,--and the centres farther westward, where he had such wide access to germans. this tour extended over a smaller area than before, and lasted but eight months; but the impression on the people was deep and permanent. he had spoken about two hundred and fifty times in all; and mrs. muller had availed herself of many opportunities of personal dealing with inquirers, and of distributing books and tracts among both believers and unbelievers. she had also written for her husband more than seven hundred letters,--this of itself being no light task, inasmuch as it reaches an average of about three a day. on may , , they were again on british shores. the eighth long preaching tour, from august , , to may , , was given to the continent of europe, where again mr. muller felt led by the low state of religious life in switzerland and germany. this visit was extended to the holy land in a way strikingly providential. after speaking at alexandria, cairo, and port said, he went to jaffa, and thence to jerusalem, on november . with reverent feet he touched the soil once trodden by the feet of the son of god, visiting, with pathetic interest, gethsemane and golgotha, and crossing the mount of olives to bethany, thence to bethlehem and back to jaffa, and so to haipha, mt. carmel, and beirut, smyrna, ephesus, constantinople, athens, brindisi, rome, and florence. again were months crowded with services of all sorts whose fruit will appear only in the day of the lord jesus, addresses being made in english, german, and french, or by translation into arabic, armenian, turkish, and modern greek. sightseeing was always but incidental to the higher service of the master. during this eighth tour, covering some eight months, mr. muller spoke hundreds of times, with all the former tokens of god's blessing on his seed-sowing. the _ninth_ tour, from august , , to june , , was occupied with labours in germany, austria, and russia, including bavaria, hungary, bohemia, saxony, and poland. his special joy it was to bear witness in kroppenstadt, his birthplace, after an absence of about sixty-four years. at st. petersburg, while the guest of princess lieven, at her mansion he met and ministered to many of high rank; he also began to hold meetings in the house of colonel paschkoff, who had suffered not only persecution but exile for the lord's sake. while the scriptures were being read one day in buss, with seven poor russians, a policeman summarily broke up the meeting and dispersed the little company. at lodz in poland, a letter was received, in behalf of almost the whole population begging him to remain longer; and so signs seemed to multiply, as he went forward, that he was in the path of duty and that god was with him. on september , , the _tenth_ tour began, this time his face being turned toward the orient. nearly sixty years before he had desired to go to the east indies as a missionary; now the lord permitted him to carry out the desire in a new and strange way, and _india_ was the twenty-third country visited in his tours. he travelled over , miles, and spoke over two hundred times, to missionaries and christian workers, european residents, eurasians, hindus, moslems, educated natives, native boys and girls in the orphanage at colar, etc. thus, in his seventy-ninth year, this servant of god was still in labours abundant, and in all his work conspicuously blessed of god. after some months of preaching in england, scotland, and wales, on november , , he and his wife set out on their fourth visit to the united states, and their _eleventh longer mission tour._ crossing to the pacific, they went to sydney, new south wales, and, after seven months in australia, sailed for java, and thence to china, arriving at hong kong, september th; japan and the straits of malacca were also included in this visit to the orient. the return to england was by way of nice; and, after travelling nearly , miles, in good health mr. and mrs. muller reached home on june , , having been absent more than one year and seven months, during which mr. muller had preached whenever and wherever opportunity was afforded. less than two months later, on august , , he sailed for south australia, tasmania, new zealand, ceylon, and india. this twelfth long tour closed in march, , having covered thousands of miles. the intense heat at one time compelled mr. muller to leave calcutta, and on the railway journey to darjeeling his wife feared he would die. but he was mercifully spared. it was on this tour and in the month of january, , while at jubbulpore, preaching with great help from the lord, that a letter was put into mr. muller's hands, from a missionary at agra, to whom mr. wright had sent a telegram, informing his father-in-law of his dear lydia's death. for nearly thirty years she had laboured gratuitously at the orphan houses and it would he difficult to fill that vacancy; but for fourteen years she had been her husband's almost ideal companion, and for nearly fifty-eight years her father's unspeakable treasure--and here were two other voids which could never be filled. but mr. muller's heart, as also mr. wright's, was kept at rest by the strong confidence that, however mysterious god's ways, all his dealings belong to one harmonious spiritual mechanism in which every part is perfect and all things work together for good. (romans viii. .) this sudden bereavement led mr. muller to bring his mission tour in the east to a close and depart for bristol, that he might both comfort mr. wright and relieve him of undue pressure of work. after a lapse of two months, once more mr. and mrs. muller left home for other extensive missionary journeys. they went to the continent and were absent from july, , to may, . a twelvemonth was spent in germany and holland, austria and italy. this absence in fact included two tours, with no interval between them, and concluded the series of extensive journeys reaching through seventeen years. this man--from his seventieth to his eighty-seventh year--when most men are withdrawing from all activities, had travelled in forty-two countries and over two hundred thousand miles, a distance equivalent to nearly eight journeys round the globe! he estimated that during these seventeen years he had addressed over three million people; and from all that can be gathered from the records of these tours, we estimate that he must have spoken, outside of bristol, between five thousand and six thousand times. what sort of teaching and testimony occupied these tours, those who have known the preacher and teacher need not be told. while at berlin in , he gave an address that serves as an example of the vital truths which he was wont to press on the attention of fellow disciples. we give a brief outline: he first urged that believers should never, even under the greatest difficulties, be discouraged, and gave for his position sound scriptural reasons. then he pointed out to them that the chief business of every day is first of all to seek to be truly at rest and happy in god. then he showed how, from the word of god, all saved believers may know their true standing in christ, and how in circumstances of particular perplexity they might ascertain the will of god. he then urged disciples to seek with intense earnestness to become acquainted with god himself as revealed in the holy scriptures, and carefully to form and maintain godly habits of systematic bible study and prayer, holy living and consecrated giving. he taught that god alone is the one all-satisfying portion of the soul, and that we must determine to possess and enjoy him as such. he closed by emphasizing it as the one, single, all-absorbing, daily aim to glorify god in a complete surrender to his will and service. in all these mission tours, again, the faithfulness of god conspicuously seen, in the bounteous supply of every need. steamer fares and long railway journeys; hotel accommodations, ordinarily preferred to private hospitality, which seriously interfered with private habits of devotion, public work, and proper rest--such expenses demanded a heavy outlay; the new mode of life, now adopted for the lord's sake, was at least three times as costly as the former frugal housekeeping; and yet, in answer to prayer and without any appeal to human help, the lord furnished all that was required. accustomed to look, step by step, for such tokens of divine approval, as emboldened him to go forward, mr. muller records how, when one hundred pounds was sent to him for personal uses, this was recognized as a foretoken from his great provider, "by which," he writes, "god meant to say to my own heart, 'i am pleased with thy work and service in going about on these long missionary tours. i will pay the expenses thereof, and i give thee here a specimen of what i am yet willing to do for thee.'" two other facts mr. muller specially records in connection with these tours: first, god's gracious guiding and guarding of the work at bristol so that it suffered nothing from his absence; and secondly, the fact that these journeys had no connection with collecting of money for the work or even informing the public of it. no reference was made to the institution at bristol, except when urgently requested, and not always even then; nor were collections ever made for it. statements found their way into the press that in america large sums were gathered, but their falsity is sufficiently shown by the fact that in his first tour in america, for example, the sum total of all such gifts was less than sixty pounds, not more than two thirds of the outlay of every day at the orphan houses. these missionary tours were not always approved even by the friends and advisers of mr. muller. in , while experiencing no little difficulty and trial, especially as to funds, there were not a few who felt a deep interest in the institution on ashley down, who would have had god's servant discontinue his long absences, as to them it appeared that these were the main reason for the falling off in funds. he was always open to counsel, but he always reserved to himself an independent decision; and, on weighing the matter well, these were some of the reasons that led him to think that the work of god at home did not demand his personal presence: . he had observed year after year that, under the godly and efficient supervision of mr. wright and his large staff of helpers, every branch of the scriptural knowledge institution had been found as healthy and fruitful during these absences as when mr. muller was in bristol. . the lord's approval of this work of wider witness had been in manner conclusive and in measure abundant, as in the ample supply of funds for these tours, in the wide doors of access opened, and in the large fruit already evident in blessing to thousands of souls. . the strong impression upon his mind that this was the work which was to occupy the 'evening of his life,' grew in depth, and was confirmed by so many signs of god's leading that he could not doubt that he was led both of god's providence and spirit. . even while absent, he was never out of communication with the helpers at home. generally he heard at least weekly from mr. wright, and any matters needing his counsel were thus submitted to him by letter; prayer to god was as effectual at a distance from bristol as on the spot; and his periodical returns to that city for some weeks or months between these tours kept him in close touch with every department of the work. . the supreme consideration, however, was this: to suppose it necessary for mr. muller himself to be at home _in order that sufficient means should be supplied,_ was a direct contradiction of the very principles upon which, and to maintain which, the whole work had been begun. _real trust in god is above circumstances and appearances._ and this had been proven; for, during the third year after these tours began, the income for the various departments of the scriptural knowledge institution was larger than ever during the preceding forty-four years of its existence; and therefore, notwithstanding the loving counsel of a few donors and friends who advised that mr. muller should stay at home, he kept to his purpose and his principles, partly to demonstrate that no man's presence is indispensable to the work of the lord. "them that honour me i will honour." ( samuel ii. .) he regarded it the greatest honour of his life to bear this wide witness to god, and god correspondingly honoured his servant in bearing this testimony. it was during the first and second of these american tours that the writer had the privilege of coming into personal contact with mr. muller. while i was at san francisco, in , he was to speak on sabbath afternoon, may th, at oakland, just across the bay, but conscientious objections to needless sunday travel caused me voluntarily to lose what then seemed the only chance of seeing and hearing a man whose career had been watched by me for over twenty years, as he was to leave for the east a few days earlier than myself and was likely to be always a little in advance. on reaching ogden, however, where the branch road from salt lake city joins the main line, mr. and mrs. muller boarded my train and we travelled to chicago together. i introduced myself, and held with him daily converse about divine things, and, while tarrying at chicago, had numerous opportunities for hearing him speak there. the results of this close and frequent contact were singularly blessed to me, and at my invitation he came to detroit, michigan, in his next tour, and spoke in the fort street presbyterian church, of which i was pastor, on sundays, january and , , and on monday and friday evenings, in the interval. in addition to these numerous and favourable opportunities thus providentially afforded for hearing and conversing with mr. muller, he kindly met me for several days in my study, for an hour at a time, for conference upon those deeper truths of the word of god and deeper experiences of the christian life, upon which i was then very desirous of more light. for example, i desired to understand more clearly the bible teaching about the lord's coming. i had opposed with much persistency what is known as the premillennial view, and brought out my objections, to all of which he made one reply: "my beloved brother, i have heard all your arguments and objections against this view, but they have one fatal defect: _not one of them is based upon the word of god._ you will never get at the truth upon any matter of divine revelation unless you lay aside your prejudices and like a little child ask simply what is the testimony of scripture." with patience and wisdom he unravelled the tangled skein of my perplexity and difficulty, and helped me to settle upon biblical principles all matters of so-called expediency. as he left me, about to visit other cities, his words fixed themselves in my memory. i had expressed to him my growing conviction that the worship in the churches had lost its primitive simplicity; that the pew-rent system was pernicious; that fixed salaries for ministers of the gospel were unscriptural; that the church of god should be administered only by men full of the holy ghost, and that the duty of christians to the non-church-going masses was grossly neglected, etc. he solemnly said to me: "my beloved brother, the lord has given you much light upon these matters, and will hold you correspondingly responsible for its use. if you obey him and walk in the light, you will have more; if not, the light will be withdrawn." it is a singular lesson on the importance of an anointed tongue, that forty simple words, spoken over twenty years ago, have had a daily influence on the life of him to whom they were spoken. amid subtle temptations to compromise the claims of duty and hush the voice of conscience, or of the spirit of god, and to follow the traditions of men rather than the word of god, those words of that venerated servant of god have recurred to mind with ever fresh force. we risk the forfeiture of privileges which are not employed for god, and of obscuring convictions which are not carried into action. god's word to us is _"use or lose."_ "to him that hath shall be given: from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he seemeth to have." it is the hope and the prayer of him who writes this memoir that the reading of these pages may prove to be an interview with the man whose memorial they are, and that the witness borne by george muller may be to many readers a source of untold and lifelong blessing. it need not be said that to carry out conviction into action is a costly sacrifice. it may make necessary renunciations and separations which leave one to feel a strange sense both of deprivation and loneliness. but he who will fly as an eagle does into the higher levels where cloudless day abides, and live in the sunshine of god, must consent to live a comparatively lonely life. no bird is so solitary as the eagle. eagles never fly in flocks: one, or at most two, and the two, mates, being ever seen at once. but the life that is lived unto god, however it forfeits human companionship, knows divine fellowship, and the child of god who like his master undertakes to "do always the things that please him," can like his master say, "the father hath not left me alone." "i am alone; yet not alone, for the father is with me." whosoever will promptly follow whatever light god gives, without regard to human opinion, custom, tradition, or approbation, will learn the deep meaning of these words: "then shall we know, if we follow on to know the lord." chapter xviii faith and patience in serving quantity of service is of far less importance than quality. to do well, rather than to do much, will be the motto of him whose main purpose is to please god. our lord bade his disciples tarry until endued with power from on high, because it is such enduement that gives to all witness and work the celestial savour and flavour of the spirit. before we come to the closing scenes, we may well look back over the life-work of george muller, which happily illustrates both quantity and quality of service. it may be doubted whether any other one man of this century accomplished as much for god and man, and yet all the abundant offerings which he brought to his master were characterized by a heavenly fragrance. the orphan work was but one branch of that tree--the scriptural knowledge institution--which owed its existence to the fact that its founder devised large and liberal things for the lord's cause. he sought to establish or at least to aid christian schools wherever needful, to scatter bibles and testaments, christian books and tracts; to aid missionaries who were witnessing to the truth and working on a scriptural basis in destitute parts; and though each of these objects might well have engrossed his mind, they were all combined in the many-sided work which his love for souls suggested. an aggressive spirit is never content with what has been done, but is prompt to enter any new door that is providentially opened. when the paris exposition of offered such rare opportunities, both for preaching to the crowds passing through the french capital, and for circulating among them the holy scriptures, he gladly availed himself of the services of two brethren whom god had sent to labour there, one of whom spoke three, and the other, eight, modern languages; and through them were circulated, chiefly at the exposition, and in thirteen different languages, nearly twelve thousand copies of the word of god, or portions of the same. it has been estimated that at this international exhibition there were distributed in all over one and a quarter million bibles, in sixteen tongues, which were gratefully accepted, even by romish priests. within six months those who thus entered god's open door scattered more copies of the book of god than in ordinary circumstances would have been done by ten thousand colporteurs in twenty times that number of months, and thousands of souls are known to have found salvation by the simple reading of the new testament. of this glorious work, george muller was permitted to be so largely a promoter. at the havre exhibition of the following year, , a similar work was done; and in like manner, when a providential door was unexpectedly opened into the land of the inquisition, mr. muller promptly took measures to promote the circulation of the word in spain. in the streets of madrid the open bible was seen for the first time, and copies were sold at the rate of two hundred and fifty in an hour, so that the supply was not equal to the demand. the same facts were substantially repeated when free italy furnished a field for sowing the seed of the kingdom. this wide-awake servant of god watched the signs of the times and, while others slept, followed the lord's signals of advance. one of the most fascinating features of the narrative is found in the letters from his bible distributors. it is interesting also to trace the story of the growth of the tract enterprise, until, in , the circulation exceeded three and three-quarter millions, god in his faithfulness supplying abundant means.* * narrative, iv. . the good thus effected by the distributors of evangelical literature must not be overlooked in this survey of the many useful agencies employed or assisted by mr. muller. to him the world was a field to be sown with the seed of the kingdom, and opportunities were eagerly embraced for widely disseminating the truth. tracts were liberally used, given away in large quantities at open-air services, fairs, races and steeplechases, and among spectators at public executions, or among passengers on board ships and railway trains, and by the way. sometimes, at a single gathering of the multitudes, fifteen thousand were distributed judiciously and prayerfully, and this branch of the work has, during all these years, continued with undiminished fruitfulness to yield its harvest of good. all this was, from first to last, and of necessity, a work of faith. how far faith must have been kept in constant and vigorous exercise can be appreciated only by putting one's self in mr. muller's place. in the year , for instance, about forty-four thousand pounds were needed, and he was compelled to count the cost and face the situation. two thousand and one hundred hungry mouths were daily to be fed, and as many bodies to be clad and cared for. one hundred and eighty-nine missionaries were needing assistance; one hundred schools, with about nine thousand pupils, to be supported; four million pages of tracts and tens of thousands of copies of the scriptures to be yearly provided for distribution; and, beside all these ordinary expenses, inevitable crises or emergencies, always liable to arise in connection with the conduct of such extensive enterprises, would from time to time call for extraordinary outlay. the man who was at the head of the scriptural knowledge institution had to look at this array of unavoidable expenses, and at the same time face the human possibility and probability of an empty treasury whence the last shilling had been drawn. let him tell us how he met such a prospect: "god, our infinitely rich treasurer, remains to us. it is this which gives me peace.... invariably, with this probability before me, i have said to myself: 'god who has raised up this work through me; god who has led me generally year after year to enlarge it; god, who has supported this work now for more than forty years, will still help and will not suffer me to be confounded, because i rely upon him. i commit the whole work to him, and he will provide me with what i need, in future also, though i know not whence the means are to come.'"* * narrative, iv. , . thus he wrote in his journal, on july , . since then twenty-four years have passed, and to this day the work goes on, though he who then had the guidance of it sleeps in jesus. whoever has had any such dealings with god, on however small a scale, cannot even _think_ of the lord as failing to honour a faith so simple, genuine, and childlike a faith which leads a helpless believer thus to cast himself and all his cares upon god with utter abandonment of all anxiety. this man put god to proof, and proved to himself and to all who receive his testimony that it is blessed to wait only upon him. the particular point which he had in view, in making these entries in his journal is the object also of embodying them in these pages, namely, to show that, while the annual expenses of this institution were so exceedingly large and the income so apparently uncertain, the soul of this believer was, to use his own words, "throughout, without the least wavering, stayed upon god, believing that he who had through him begun the institution, enlarged it almost year after year, and upheld it for forty years in answer to prayer by faith, would do this still and not suffer this servant of his to be confounded."* believing that god would still help, and supply the means, george muller was willing, and thoroughly in heart prepared, if necessary, to pass again through similar severe and prolonged seasons of trial as he had already endured. * narrative, iv. . the living god had kept him calm and restful, amid all the ups and downs of his long experience as the superintendent and director of this many-sided work, though the tests of faith had not been light or short of duration. for more than ten years at a time--as from august, , to april, , day by day, and for months together from meal to meal--it was necessary to look to god, almost without cessation, for daily supplies. when, later on, the institution was twentyfold larger and the needs proportionately greater, for months at a time the lord likewise constrained his servant to lean from hour to hour, in the same dependence, upon him. all along through these periods of unceasing want, the eternal god was his refuge and underneath were the everlasting arms. he reflected that god was aware of all this enlargement of the work and its needs; he comforted himself with the consoling thought that he was seeking his master's glory; and that if in this way the greater glory would accrue to him for the good of his people and of those who were still unbelievers, it was no concern of the servant; nay, more than this, it behooved the servant to be willing to go on in this path of trial, even unto the end of his course, if so it should please his master, who guides his affairs with divine discretion. the trials of faith did not cease even until the end. july , , finds the following entry in mr. muller's journal: "the income has been for some time past only about a third part of the expenses. consequently all we have for the support of the orphans is nearly gone; and for the first four objects of the institution we have nothing at all in hand. the natural appearance now is that the work cannot be carried on. but i believe that the lord will help, both with means for the orphans and also for other objects of the institution, and that we shall not be confounded; also that the work shall not need to be given up. i am fully expecting help, and have written this to the glory of god, that it may be recorded hereafter for the encouragement of his children. the result will be seen. i expect that we shall not be confounded, though for some years we have not been so poor." while faith thus leaned on god, prayer took more vigorous hold. six, seven, eight times a day, he and his dear wife were praying for means, looking for answers, and firmly persuaded that their expectations would not be disappointed. since that entry was made, seventeen more years have borne their witness that this trust was not put to shame. not a branch of this tree of holy enterprise has been cut off by the sharp blade of a stern necessity. though faith had thus tenaciously held fast to the promises, the pressure was not at once relieved. when, a fortnight after these confident records of trust in god had been spread on the pages of the journal, the balance for the orphans was less than it had been for twenty-five years, it would have seemed to human sight as though god had forgotten to be gracious. but, on august nd, over one thousand pounds came in for the support of the orphans and thus relief was afforded for a time. again, let us bear in mind how in the most unprecedented straits god alone was made the confidant, even the best friends of the institution, alike the poor and the rich, being left in ignorance of the pressure of want. it would have been no sin to have made known the circumstances, or even to have made an appeal for aid to the many believers who would gladly have come to the relief of the work. but the _testimony to the lord_ was to be jealously guarded, and the main object of this work of faith would have been imperilled just so far as by any appeal to men this witness to god was weakened. in this crisis, and in every other, faith triumphed, and so the testimony to a prayer-hearing god grew in volume and power as the years went on. it was while as yet this period of testing was not ended, and no permanent relief was yet supplied, that mr. muller, with his wife, left bristol on august rd, for the continent, on his eighth long preaching tour. thus, at a time when, to the natural eye, his own presence would have seemed well-nigh indispensable, he calmly departed for other spheres of duty, leaving the work at home in the hands of mr. wright and his helpers. the tour had been already arranged for, under god's leading, and it was undertaken, with the supporting power of a deep conviction that god is as near to those who in prayer wait on him in distant lands, as on ashley down, and needs not the personal presence of any man in any one place, or at any time, in order to carry on his work. in an american city, a half-idiotic boy who was bearing a heavy burden asked a drayman, who was driving an empty cart, for a ride. being permitted, he mounted the cart with his basket, but thinking he might so relieve the horse a little, while still himself riding, lifted his load and carried it. we laugh at the simplicity of the idiotic lad, and yet how often we are guilty of similar folly! we profess to cast ourselves and our cares upon the lord, and then persist in bearing our own burdens, as if we felt that he would be unequal to the task of sustaining us and our loads. it is a most wholesome lesson for christian workers to learn that all true work is primarily the lord's, and only secondarily ours, and that therefore all 'carefulness' on our part is distrust of him, implying a sinful self-conceit which overlooks the fact that he is the one worker and all others are only his instruments. as to our trials, difficulties, losses, and disappointments, we are prone to hesitate about committing them to the lord, trustfully and calmly. we think we have done well if we take refuge in the lord's promise to his reluctant disciple peter, "what i do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter," referring this 'hereafter' to the future state where we look for the solution of all problems. in peter's case the hereafter appears to have come when the feet-washing was done and christ explained its meaning; and it is very helpful to our faith to observe mr. muller's witness concerning all these trying and disappointing experiences of his life, that, without one exception, he had found already in this life that they worked together for his good; so that he had reason to praise god for them all. in the ninetieth psalm we read: "make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us and the years wherein we have seen evil." (psalm xc. .) this is an inspired prayer, and such prayer is a prophecy. not a few saints have found, this side of heaven, a divine gladness for every year and day of sadness, when their afflictions and adversities have been patiently borne. faith is the secret of both peace and steadfastness, amid all tendencies to discouragement and discontinuance in well-doing. james was led by the spirit of god to write that the unstable and unbelieving man is like the "wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed." there are two motions of the waves--one up and down, which we call undulation, the other to and fro, which we call fluctuation. how appropriately both are referred to--"tossed" up and down, "driven" to and fro! the double-minded man lacks steadiness in both respects: his faith has no uniformity of experience, for he is now at the crest of the wave and now in the trough of the sea; it has no uniformity of progress, for whatever he gains to-day he loses to-morrow. fluctuations in income and apparent prosperity did not take george muller by surprise. he expected them, for if there were no crises and critical emergencies how could there be critical deliverances? his trust was in god, not in donors or human friends or worldly circumstances: and because he trusted in the living god who says of himself, "i am the lord, i change not," amid all other changes, his feet were upon the one rock of ages that no earthquake shock can move from its eternal foundations. two facts mr. muller gratefully records at this period of his life: (narrative, iv. , .) first. "for above fifty years i have now walked, by his grace, in a path of complete reliance upon him who is the faithful one, for everything i have needed; and yet i am increasingly convinced that it is by his help alone i am enabled to continue in this course; for, if left to myself, even after the precious enjoyment so long experienced of walking thus in fellowship with god, i should yet be tempted to abandon this path of entire dependence upon him. to his praise, however, i am able to state that for more than half a century i have never had the least desire to do so." second. from may, , to may , a gracious work of the spirit had visited the orphans on ashley down and in many of the schools. during the three months spent by mr. muller at home before sailing for america in september, , he had been singularly drawn out in prayer for such a visitation of grace, and had often urged it on the prayers of his helpers. the lord is faithful, and he cheered the heart of his servant in his absence by abundant answers to his intercessions. before he had fairly entered on his work in america, news came from home of a blessed work of conversion already in progress, and which went on for nearly a year, until there was good ground for believing that in the five houses five hundred and twelve orphans had found god their father in christ, and nearly half as many more were in a hopeful state. the lord did not forget his promise, and he did keep the plant he had permitted his servant to set in his name in the soil on ashley down. faith that was tried, triumphed. on june , , a legacy of over eleven thousand pounds reached him, the _largest single gift_ ever yet received, the largest donations which had preceded being respectively one thousand, two thousand, three thousand, five thousand, eight thousand one hundred, and nine thousand and ninety-one pounds. this last amount, eleven thousand, had been due for over six years from an estate, but had been kept back by the delays of the chancery court. prayer had been made day by day that the bequest might be set free for its uses, and now the full answer had come; and god had singularly timed the supply to the need, for there was at that time only forty-one pounds ten shillings in hand, not one half of the average daily expenses, and certain sanitary improvements were just about to be carried out which would require an outlay of over two thousand pounds. as mr. muller closed the solemn and blessed records of , he wrote: "thus ended the year , during which we had been tried, greatly tried, in various ways, no doubt for the exercise of our faith, and to make us know god more fully; but during which we had also been helped and blessed, and greatly helped and blessed. peacefully, then, we were able to enter upon the year , fully assured that, as we had god for us and with us, all, all would be well." john wesley had in the same spirit said a century before, "best of all, god is with us." of late years the orphanage at ashley down has not had as many inmates as formerly, and some four or five hundred more might now be received. mr. muller felt constrained, for some years previous to his death, to make these vacancies known to the public, in hopes that some destitute orphans might find there a home. but it must be remembered that the provision for such children has been greatly enlarged since this orphan work was begun. in the total accommodation for all orphans, in england, reached thirty-six hundred, while the prisons contained nearly twice as many children under eight years of age. this state of things led to the rapid enlargement of the work until over two thousand were housed on ashley down alone; and this colossal enterprise stimulated others to open similar institutions until, fifty years after mr. muller began his work, at least one hundred thousand orphans were cared for in england alone. thus god used mr. muller to give such an impetus to this form of philanthropy, that destitute children became the object of a widely organized charity both on the part of individuals and of societies, and orphanages now exist for various classes. in all this manifold work which mr. muller did he was, to the last, self-oblivious. from the time when, in october, , he had given up all stated salary, as pastor and minister of the gospel, he had never received any salary, stipend nor fixed income, of any sort, whether as a pastor or as a director of the scriptural knowledge institution. both principle and preference led him to wait only upon god for all personal needs, as also for all the wants of his work. nevertheless god put into the hearts of his believing children in all parts of the world, not only to send gifts in aid of the various branches of the work which mr. muller superintended, but to forward to him money for his own uses, as well as clothes, food, and other temporal supplies. he never appropriated one penny which was not in some way indicated or designated as for his own personal needs, and subject to his personal judgment. no straits of individual or family want ever led him to use, even for a time, what was sent to him for other ends. generally gifts intended for himself were wrapped up in paper with his name written thereon, or in other equally distinct ways designated as meant for him. thus as early as his year's income reached upwards of twenty-one hundred pounds. few nonconformist ministers, and not one in twenty of the clergy of the establishment, have any such income, which averages about six pounds for every day in the year--and all this came from the lord, simply in answer to prayer, and without appeal of any sort to man or even the revelation of personal needs. if we add legacies paid at the end of the year , mr. muller's entire income in about thirteen months exceeded thirty-one hundred pounds. of this he gave, out and out to the needy, and to the work of god, the whole amount save about two hundred and fifty, expended on personal and family wants; and thus started the year as poor as he had begun forty-five years before; and if his personal expenses were scrutinized it would be found that even what he ate and drank and wore was with equal conscientiousness expended for the glory of god, so that in a true sense we may say he spent nothing on himself. in another connection it has already been recorded that, when at jubbulpore in , mr. muller received tidings of his daughter's death. to any man of less faith that shock might have proved, at his advanced age, not only a stunning but a fatal blow. his only daughter and only child, lydia, the devoted wife of james wright, had been called home, in her fifty-eighth year, and after nearly thirty years of labour at the orphan houses. what this death meant to mr. muller, at the age of eighty-four, no one can know who has not witnessed the mutual devotion of that daughter and that father: and what that loss was to mr. wright, the pen alike fails to portray. if the daughter seemed to her father humanly indispensable, she was to her husband a sort of inseparable part of his being; and over such experiences as these it is the part of delicacy to draw the curtain of silence. but it should be recorded that no trait in mrs. wright was more pathetically attractive than her humility. few disciples ever felt their own nothingness as she did, and it was this ornament of a meek and quiet spirit--the only ornament she wore--that made her seem so beautiful to all who knew her well enough for this 'hidden man of the heart' to be disclosed to their vision. did not that ornament in the lord's sight appear as of great price? truly "the beauty of the lord her god was upon her." james wright had lived with his beloved lydia for more than eighteen years, in "unmarred and unbroken felicity." they had together shared in prayers and tears before god, bearing all life's burdens in common. weak as she was physically, he always leaned upon her and found her a tower of spiritual strength in time of heavy responsibility. while, in her lowly-mindedness, she thought of herself as a 'little useless thing,' he found her both a capable and cheerful supervisor of many most important domestic arrangements where a competent woman's hand was needful: and, with rare tact and fidelity, she kept watch of the wants of the orphans as her dear mother had done before her. after her decease, her husband found among her personal effects a precious treasure--a verse written with her own hand: "i have seen the face of jesus, tell me not of aught beside; i have heard the voice of jesus, all my soul is satisfied." this invaluable little fragment, like that other writing found by this beloved daughter among her mother's effects, became to mr. wright what that had been to mr. muller, a sort of last legacy from his departed and beloved wife. her desires were fulfilled; she had seen the face and heard the voice of him who alone could satisfy her soul. in the fifty-third report, which extends to may , , it is stated that the expenses exceeded the income for the orphans by a total of over thirty-six hundred pounds, so that many dear fellow labourers, without the least complaint, were in arrears as to salaries. this was the second time only, in fifty-eight years, that the income thus fell short of the expenses. ten years previous, the expenses had been in excess of the income by four hundred and eighty-eight pounds, but, within one month after the new financial year had begun, by the payment of legacies three times as much as the deficiency was paid in; and, adding donations, six times as much. and now the question arose whether god would not have mr. muller contract rather than expand the work. he says: "the lord's dealings with us during the last year indicate that it is his will we should contract our operations, and we are waiting upon him for directions as to how and to what extent this should be done; for we have but one single object--the glory of god. when i founded this institution, one of the principles stated was, 'that there would be no enlargement of the work by going into debt': and in like manner we cannot go on with _that which already exists_ if we have not sufficient means coming in to meet the current expenses." thus the godly man who loved to expand his service for god was humble enough to bow to the will of god if its contraction seemed needful. prayer was much increased, and faith did not fail under the trial, which continued for weeks and months, but was abundantly sustained by the promises of an unfailing helper. this distress was relieved in march by the sale of ten acres of land, at one thousand pounds an acre, and at the close of the year there was in hand a balance of over twenty-three hundred pounds. the exigency, however, continued more or less severe until again, in - , after several years of trial, the lord once more bountifully supplied means. and mr. muller is careful to add that though the _appearance_ during those years of trial was many times as if god had forgotten or forsaken them and would never care any more about the institution, it was only in appearance, for he was as mindful of it as ever, and he records how by this discipline faith was still further strengthened, god was glorified in the patience and meekness whereby he enabled them to endure the testing, and tens of thousands of believers were blessed in afterward reading about these experience's of divine faithfulness.* * fifty-fifth report, p. . five years after mrs. wright's death, mr. muller was left again a widower. his last great mission tour had come to an end in , and in , on the th of january, the beloved wife who in all these long journeys had been his constant companion and helper, passed to her rest, and once more left him peculiarly alone, since his devoted lydia had been called up higher. yet by the same grace of god which had always before sustained him he was now upheld, and not only kept in unbroken peace, but enabled to "kiss the hand which administered the stroke." at the funeral of his second wife, as at that of the first, he made the address, and the scene was unique in interest. seldom does a man of ninety conduct such a service. the faith that sustained him in every other trial held him up in this. he lived in such habitual communion with the unseen world, and walked in such uninterrupted fellowship with the unseen god, that the exchange of worlds became too real for him to mourn for those who had made it, or to murmur at the infinite love that numbers our days. it moved men more deeply than any spoken word of witness to see him manifestly borne up as on everlasting arms. i remember mr. muller remarking that he waited eight years before he understood at all the purpose of god in removing his first wife, who seemed so indispensable to him and his work. his own journal explains more fully this remark. when it pleased god to take from him his second wife, after over twenty-three years of married life, again he rested on the promise that "all things work together for good to them that love god" and reflected on his past experiences of its truth. when he lost his first wife after over thirty-nine years of happy wedlock, while he bowed to the father's will, how that sorrow and bereavement could work good had been wholly a matter of _faith,_ for no compensating good was apparent to sight; yet he believed god's word and waited to see how it would be fulfilled. that loss seemed one that could not be made up. only a little before, two orphan houses had been opened for nine hundred more orphans, so that there were total accommodations for over two thousand; she, who by nature, culture, gifts, and graces, was so wonderfully fitted to be her husband's helper, and who had with motherly love cared for these children, was suddenly removed from his side. four years after mr. muller married his second wife, he saw it plainly to be god's will that he should spend life's evening-time in giving witness to the nations. these mission tours could not be otherwise than very trying to the physical powers of endurance, since they covered over two hundred thousand miles and obliged the travellers to spend a week at a time in a train, and sometimes from four to six weeks on board a vessel. mrs. muller, though never taking part in public, was severely taxed by all this travel, and always busy, writing letters, circulating books and tracts, and in various ways helping and relieving her husband. all at once, while in the midst of these fatiguing journeys and exposures to varying climates, it flashed upon mr. muller that his first wife, who had died in her seventy-third year, _could never have undertaken these tours,_ and that the lord had thus, in taking her, left him free to make these extensive journeys. she would have been over fourscore years old when these tours began, and, apart from age, could not have borne the exhaustion, because of her frail health; whereas the second mrs. muller, who, at the time, was not yet fifty-seven, was both by her age and strength fully equal to the strain thus put upon her. chapter xix at evening-time--light the closing scene of this beautiful and eventful life-history has an interest not altogether pathetic. mr. muller seems like an elevated mountain, on whose summit the evening sun shines in lingering splendour, and whose golden peak rises far above the ordinary level and belongs to heaven more than earth, in the clear, cloudless calm of god. from may, , when the last mission tour closed; he devoted himself mainly to the work of the scriptural knowledge institution, and to preaching at bethesda and elsewhere as god seemed to appoint. his health was marvelous, especially considering how, when yet a young man, frequent and serious illnesses and general debility had apparently disqualified him from all military duty, and to many prophesied early death or hopeless succumbing to disease. he had been in tropic heat and arctic cold, in gales and typhoons at sea, and on journeys by rail, sometimes as continuously long as a sea-voyage. he had borne the pest of fleas, mosquitoes, and even rats. he had endured changes of climate, diet, habits of life, and the strain of almost daily services, and come out of all unscathed. this man, whose health was never robust, had gone through labours that would try the mettle of an iron constitution; this man, who had many times been laid aside by illness and sometimes for months and who in had feared that a persistent head trouble might unhinge his mind, could say, in his ninety-second year: "i have been able, every day and all the day, to work, and that with ease, as seventy years since." when the writer was holding meetings in bristol in , on an anniversary very sacred to himself, he asked his beloved father muller to speak at the closing meeting of the series, in the y.m.c.a. hall; and he did so, delivering a powerful address of forty-five minutes, on prayer in connection with missions, and giving his own life-story in part, with a vigour of voice and manner that seemed a denial of his advanced age.* * appendix k. the marvelous preservation of such a man at such an age reminds one of caleb, who at eighty-five could boast in god that he was as strong even for war as in the day that he was sent into the land as one of the spies; and mr. muller himself attributed this preservation to three causes: first, the exercising of himself to have always a conscience void of offence both toward god and toward men; secondly to the love he felt for the scriptures, and the constant recuperative power they exercised upon his whole being; and third, to that happiness he felt in god and his work, which relieved him of all anxiety and needless wear and tear in his labours. the great fundamental truth that this heroic man stamped on his generation was that the living god is the same to-day and forever as yesterday and in all ages past, and that, with equal confidence with the most trustful souls of any age, we may believe his word, and to every promise add, like abraham, our 'amen'--it shall be so!* when, a few days after his death, mr. e. h. glenny, who is known to many as the beloved and self-sacrificing friend of the north african mission, passed through barcelona, he found written in an album over his signature the words: "jesus christ, the same yesterday and to-day and for ever." and, like the writer of the epistle to the hebrews, quoting from the nd psalm, we may say of jehovah, while all else changes and perishes: "thou remainest"; "thou art the same." toward the close of life mr. muller, acting under medical advice, abated somewhat of his active labours, preaching commonly but once a sunday. it was my privilege to hear him on the morning of the lord's day, march , . he spoke on the th psalm; of course he found here his favourite theme--prayer; and, taking that as a fair specimen of his average preaching, he was certainly a remarkable expositor of scripture even at ninety-one years of age. later on the outline of this discourse will be found. * gen. xv. . (hebrew.) on sunday morning, march , , he spoke at alma road chapel, and on the monday evening following was at the prayer service at bethesda, on both occasions in his usual health. on wednesday evening following, he took his wonted place at the orphan house prayer meeting and gave out the hymns: "the countless multitude on high." and "we'll sing of the shepherd that died." when he bade his beloved son-in-law "good-night," there was no outward sign of declining strength. he seemed to the last the vigorous old man, and retired to rest as usual. it had been felt that one so advanced in years should have some night-attendant, especially as indications of heart-weakness had been noticed of late, and he had yielded to the pressure of love and consented to such an arrangement _after that night._ but the consent came too late. he was never more to need human attendance or attention. on thursday morning, march th, at about seven o'clock, the usual cup of tea was taken to his room. to the knock at the door there was no response save an ominous silence. the attendant opened the door, only to find that the venerable patriarch lay dead, on the floor beside the bed. he had probably risen to take some nourishment--a glass of milk and a biscuit being always put within reach--and, while eating the biscuit, he had felt faint, and fallen, clutching at the table-cloth as he fell, for it was dragged off, with certain things that had lain on the table. his medical adviser, who was promptly summoned, gave as his opinion that he had died of heart-failure some hour or two before he had been found by his attendant. such a departure, even at such an age, produced a worldwide sensation. that man's moral and spiritual forces reached and touched the earth's ends. not in bristol, or in britain alone, but across the mighty waters toward the sunrise and sunset was felt the responsive pulse-beat of a deep sympathy. hearts bled all over the globe when it was announced, by telegraph wire and ocean cable, that george muller was dead. it was said of a great englishman that his influence could be measured only by "parallels of latitude"; of george muller we may add, and by meridians of longitude. he belonged to the whole church and the whole world, in a unique sense; and the whole race of man sustained a loss when he died. the funeral, which took place on the monday following, was a popular tribute of affection, such as is seldom seen. tens of thousands of people reverently stood along the route of the simple procession; men left their workshops and offices, women left their elegant homes or humble kitchens, all seeking to pay a last token of respect. bristol had never before witnessed any such scene. a brief service was held at orphan house no. , where over a thousand children met, who had for a second time lost a 'father'; in front of the reading-desk in the great dining-room, a coffin of elm, studiously plain, and by request without floral offerings, contained all that was mortal of george muller, and on a brass plate was a simple inscription, giving the date of his death, and his age. mr. james wright gave the address, reminding those who were gathered that, to all of us, even those who have lived nearest god, death comes while the lord tarries; that it is blessed to die in the lord; and that for believers in christ there is a glorious resurrection waiting. the tears that ran down those young cheeks were more eloquent than any words, as a token of affection for the dead. the procession silently formed. among those who followed the bier were four who had been occupants of that first orphan home in wilson street. the children's grief melted the hearts of spectators, and eyes unused to weeping were moistened that day. the various carriages bore the medical attendants, the relatives and connections of mr. muller, the elders and deacons of the churches with which he was associated, and his staff of helpers in the work on ashley down. then followed forty or fifty other vehicles with deputations from various religious bodies, etc. at bethesda, every foot of space was crowded, and hundreds sought in vain for admission. the hymn was sung which mr. muller had given out at that last prayer meeting the night before his departure. dr. maclean of bath offered prayer, mingled with praise for such a long life of service and witness, of prayer and faith, and mr. wright spoke from hebrews xiii. , : "remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of god: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation: jesus christ, the same yesterday and to-day and forever." he spoke of those spiritual rulers and guides whom god sets over his people; and of the privilege of imitating their faith, calling attention to the two characteristics of his beloved father-in-law's faith: first, that it was based on that immovable rock of ages, god's written word; and secondly, that it translated the precepts and promises of that word into daily life. mr. wright made very emphatic mr. muller's acceptance of the whole scriptures, as divinely inspired. he had been wont to say to young believers, "put your finger on the passage on which your faith rests," and had himself read the bible from end to end nearly two hundred times. he fed on the word and therefore was strong. he found the centre of that word in the living person it enshrines, and his one ground of confidence was his atoning work. always in his own eyes weak, wretched, and vile, unworthy of the smallest blessing, he rested solely on the merit and mediation of his great high priest. george muller _cultivated_ faith. he used to say to his helpers in prayer and service, "never let enter your minds a shadow of doubt as to the love of the father's heart or the power of the father's arm." and he projected his whole life forward, and looked at it in the light of the judgment day. mr. wright's address made prominent one or two other most important lessons, as, for example, that the spirit bids us imitate, not the idiosyncrasies or philanthropy of others, but _their faith._ and he took occasion to remind his hearers that philanthropy was not the foremost aim or leading feature of mr. muller's life, but above all else to magnify and glorify god, _"as still the living god who, now as well as thousands of years ago, hears the prayers of his children and helps those who trust him."_ he touchingly referred to the humility that led mr. muller to do the mightiest thing for god without self-consciousness, and showed that god can take up and use those who are willing to be only instruments. mr. wright further remarked: "i have been asked again and again lately as to whether the orphan work would go on. it is going on. since the commencement of the year we have received between forty and fifty fresh orphans, and this week expect to receive more. the other four objects of the institution, according to the ability god gives us, are still being carried on. we believe that whatever god would do with regard to the future will be worthy of him. we do not know much more, and do not want to. he knows what he will do. i cannot think, however, that the god who has so blessed the work for so long will leave our prayers as to the future unanswered." mr. benjamin perry then spoke briefly, characterizing mr. muller as the greatest personality bristol had known as a citizen. he referred to his power as an expounder of scripture, and to the fact that he brought to others for their comfort and support what had first been food to his own soul. he gave some personal reminiscences, referring, for instance, to his ability at an extreme old age still to work without hindrance either mental or physical, free from rheumatism, ache, or pain, and seldom suffering from exhaustion. he briefly described him as one who, in response to the infinite love of god, which called him from a life of sin to a life of salvation and service, wholly loved god above everybody and everything, so that his highest pleasure was to please and serve him. as an illustration of his humility, he gave an incident. when of late a friend had said, "when god calls you home, it will be like a ship going into harbour, full sail."--"oh no!" said mr. muller, "it is poor george muller who needs daily to pray, 'hold thou me up in my goings, that my footsteps slip not.'" the close of such lives as those of asa and solomon were to mr. muller a perpetual warning, leading him to pray that he might never thus depart from the lord in his old age. after prayer by mr. j. l. stanley, col. molesworth gave out the hymn, "'tis sweet to think of those at rest." and after another prayer by mr. stanley arnot, the body was borne to its resting-place in arno's vale cemetery, and buried beside the bodies of mr. muller's first and second wives, some eighty carriages joining in the procession to the grave. everything from first to last was as simple and unostentatious as he himself would have wished. at the graveside col. molesworth prayed, and mr. george f. bergin read from cor. xv. and spoke a few words upon the tenth verse, which so magnifies the grace of god both in what we _are_ and what we _do._ mr. e. k. groves, nephew of mr. muller, announced as the closing hymn the second given out by him at that last prayer meeting at the orphanage. "we'll sing of the shepherd that died." mr. e. t. davies then offered prayer, and the body was left to its undisturbed repose, until the lord shall come. other memorial services were held at the y.m.c.a. hall, and very naturally at bethesda chapel, which brought to a fitting close this series of loving tributes to the departed. on the lord's day preceding the burial, in nearly all the city pulpits, more or less extended reference had been made to the life, the character, and the career of the beloved saint who had for so many years lived his irreproachable life in bristol. also the daily and weekly press teemed with obituary notices, and tributes to his piety, worth, and work. it was touchingly remarked at his funeral that he first confessed to feeling weak and weary in his work that last night of his earthly sojourn; and it seemed specially tender of the lord not to allow that sense of exhaustion to come upon him until just as he was about to send his chariot to bear him to his presence. mr. muller's last sermon at bethesda chapel, after a ministry of sixty-six years, had been from cor. v. : "for we know that, if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of god, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens." it was as though he had some foretokens of his being about shortly to put off this his tabernacle. evidently he was not taken by surprise. he had foreseen that his days were fast completing their number. seven months before his departure, he had remarked to his medical attendant, in connection with the irregularity of his pulse: "it means _death."_ many of the dear orphans--as when the first mrs. muller died--wrote, asking that they might contribute toward the erection of a monument to the memory of their beloved benefactor. already one dear young servant had gathered, for the purpose, over twenty pounds. in conformity with the known wishes of his father-in-law that only the simplest headstone be placed over his remains, mr. wright thought necessary to check the inflow of such gifts, the sum in hand being quite sufficient. further urgent appeals were made both from british and american friends, for the erection of some statue or other large visible monument or memorial, and in these appeals the local newspapers united. at length private letters led mr. wright to communicate with the public press, as the best way at once to silence these appeals and express the ground of rejecting such proposals. he wrote as follows: "you ask me, as one long and closely associated with the late mr. george muller, to say what i think would be most in accordance with his own wishes as a fitting memorial of himself. "will not the best way of replying to this question be to let him speak for himself? " st. when he erected orphan house no. , and the question came what is the building to be called, he deliberately avoided associating his own name with it, and named it 'the new orphan house, ashley down.' n.b.--to the end of his life he _disliked_ hearing or reading the words 'muller's orphanage.' in keeping with this, for years, in _every annual report,_ when referring to the orphanage he reiterated the statement, 'the new orphan houses on ashley down, bristol, are not _my_ orphan houses,... they are god's orphan houses.' (see, for example, the report for , p. .) " nd. for years, in fact until he was nearly eighty years old, he steadily refused to allow any _portrait_ of himself to be published; and only most reluctantly (for reasons which he gives with characteristic minuteness in the preface to 'preaching tours') did he at length give way on this point. " rd. in the last published report, at page , he states: 'the primary object i had in view in carrying on this work,' viz., 'that it might be seen that now, in the nineteenth century, _god is still the living god, and that now, as well as thousands of years ago, he listens to the prayers of his children and helps those who trust in him.'_ from these words and ways of acting, is it not evident, that the only 'memorial' that george muller cared about was that which consists in the effect of his example, godward, upon his fellow men? every soul converted to god (instrumentally) through his words or example constitutes a permanent memorial to him as the father in christ of such an one. every believer strengthened in faith (instrumentally) through his words or example constitutes a similar memorial to his spiritual teacher. "he knew that god had, already, in the riches of his grace, given him many such memorials; and he departed this life, as i well know, cherishing the most lively hope that he should greet _above_ thousands more to whom it had pleased god to make him a channel of rich spiritual blessing. "he used often to say to me, when he opened a letter in which the writer poured out a tale of sore pecuniary need, and besought his help to an extent twice or three or ten times exceeding the sum total of his (mr. muller's) earthly possessions at the moment, 'ah! these dear people entirely miss the lesson i am _trying_ to teach them, for they come to _me,_ instead of going to _god.'_ and if he could come back to us for an hour, and listen to an account of what his sincerely admiring, but mistaken, friends are proposing to do to _perpetuate_ his memory, i can hear him, with a sigh, exclaiming, 'ah! these _dear_ friends are entirely missing the lesson that i tried for seventy years to teach them,' viz., 'that a _man_ can receive nothing except it be _given_ him _from above,'_ and that, therefore, it is the blessed _giver,_ and not the poor receiver, that is to be glorified. "yours faithfully, "james wright." chapter xx the summary of the life-work death shuts the door upon earthly service, whatever door it may open to other forms and spheres of activity. there are many intimations that service beyond the grave is both unceasing and untiring: the blessed dead "rest indeed from their _labours"_--toilsome and painful tasks--"but their works"--activities for god--"do follow them," where exertion is without exhaustion. this is therefore a fit point for summing up the results of the work over which, from its beginning, one man had specially had charge. one sentence from mr. muller's pen marks the purpose which was the very pivot of his whole being: "i have joyfully dedicated my whole life to the object of exemplifying how much may be accomplished by prayer and faith." this prepared both for the development of the character of him who had such singleness of aim, and for the development of the work in which that aim found action. mr. muller's oldest friend, robert c. chapman of barnstaple, beautifully says that "when a man's chief business is to serve and please the lord, all his circumstances become his servants"; and we shall find this maxim true in mr. muller's life-work. the fifty-ninth report, issued may , , was the last up to the date of the publication of this volume, and the first after mr. muller's death. in this, mr. wright gives the brief but valuable summary not only of the whole work of the year preceding, but of the whole work from its beginning, and thus helps us to a comprehensive survey. this report is doubly precious as it contains also the last contribution of mr. muller's own pen to the record of the lord's dealings. it is probable that on the afternoon of march th he laid down his pen, for the last time, all unconscious that he was never again to take it up. he had made, in a twofold sense, his closing entry in life's solemn journal! in the evening of that day he took his customary part in the prayer service in the orphan house--then went to sleep for the last time on earth; there came a waking hour, when he was alone with god, and suddenly departed, leaving his body to its long sleep that knows no waking until the day of the lord's coming, while his spirit returned unto god who gave it. the afternoon of that day of death, and of 'birth' into the heavenly life--as the catacomb saints called it--found the helpers again assembled in the same prayer room to commit the work to him "who only hath immortality," and who, amid all changes of human administration, ever remains the divine master workman, never at a loss for his own chosen instruments. mr. wright, in this report, shows himself god's chosen successor in the work, evidently like-minded with the departed director. the first paragraph, after the brief and touching reference to his father-in-law, serves to convey to all friends of this work the assurance that he to whom mr. muller left its conduct has also learned the one secret of all success in coworking with god. it sounds, as the significant _keynote_ for the future, the same old keynote of the past, carrying on the melody and harmony, without change, into the new measures. it is the same oratorio, without alteration of theme, time, or even key: the leading performer is indeed no more, but another hand takes up his instrument and, trembling with emotion, continues the unfinished strain so that there is no interruption. mr. wright says: "it is written (job xxvi. ): 'he hangeth the earth upon _nothing'_--that is, no _visible_ support. and so we exult in the fact that 'the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad' hangs, as it has ever hung, since its commencement, now more than sixty-four years ago, 'upon nothing,' that is, upon no visible support. it hangs upon no human patron, upon no endowment or funded property, but solely upon the good pleasure of the blessed god." blessed lesson to learn! that to hang upon the invisible god is not to hang "upon nothing," though it be upon nothing _visible._ the power and permanence of the invisible forces that hold up the earth after sixty centuries of human history are sufficiently shown by the fact that this great globe still swings securely in space and is whirled through its vast orbit, and that, without variation of a second, it still moves with divine exactness in its appointed path. we can therefore trust the same invisible god to sustain with his unseen power all the work which faith suspends upon his truth and love and unfailing word of promise, though to the natural eye all these may seem as nothing. mr. wright records also a very striking answer to long-continued prayer, and a most impressive instance of the tender care of the lord, in the _providing of an associate,_ every way like-minded, and well fitted to share the responsibility falling upon his shoulders at the decease of his father-in-law. feeling the burden too great for him, his one resource was to cast his burden on the lord. he and mr. muller had asked of god such a companion in labour for three years before his departure, and mr. wright and his dear wife had, for twenty-five years before that--from the time when mr. muller's long missionary tours began to withdraw him from bristol--besought of the lord the same favour. but to none of them had any _name_ been suggested, or, if so, it had never been mentioned. after that day of death, mr. wright felt that a gracious father would not long leave him to sustain this great burden alone, and about a fortnight later he felt assured that it was the will of god that he should ask mr. george frederic bergin to join him in the work, who seemed to him a _"true yoke-fellow."_ he had known him well for a quarter-century; he had worked by his side in the church; and though they were diverse in temperament, there had never been a break in unity or sympathy. mr. bergin was seventeen years his junior, and so likely to survive and succeed him; he was very fond of children, and had been much blessed in training his own in the nurture and admonition of the lord, and hence was fitted to take charge of this larger family of orphans. confident of being led of god, he put the matter before mr. bergin, delighted but not surprised to find that the same god had moved on his mind also, and in the same direction; for not only was he ready to respond to mr. wright's appeal, but he had been led of god to feel that he should, after a certain time, _go to mr. wright and offer himself._ the spirit who guided philip to the eunuch and at the same time had made the eunuch to inquire after guidance; who sent men from cornelius and, while they were knocking at simon's house, was bidding peter go with them, still moves in a mysterious way, and simultaneously, on those whom he would bring together for cooperation in loving service. and thus mr. wright found the living god the same helper and supplier of every need, after his beloved father-in-law had gone up higher; and felt constrained to feel that the god of elijah was still at the crossing of the jordan and could work the same wonders as before, supplying the need of the hour when the need came. mr. muller's own gifts to the service of the lord find in this posthumous report their first full record and recognition. readers of the annual reports must have noticed an entry, recurring with strange frequency during all these thirty or forty years, and therefore suggesting a giver that must have reached a very ripe age: "from a servant of the lord jesus, who, constrained by the love of christ, seeks to lay up treasure in heaven." if that entry be carefully followed throughout and there be added the personal gifts made by mr. muller to various benevolent objects, it will be found that the aggregate sum from this "servant" reaches, up to march , , a total of _eighty-one thousand four hundred and ninety pounds eighteen shillings and eightpence._ mr. wright, now that this "servant of the lord jesus" is with his master, who promised, "where i am there shall also my servant be," feels free to make known that this donor was no other than _george muller himself_ who thus gave out of his own money--money given to him for his own use or left to him by legacies--the total sum of about sixty-four thousand five hundred pounds to the scriptural knowledge institution, and, in other directions, seventeen thousand more. this is a record of personal gifts to which we know no parallel. it reminds us of the career of john wesley, whose simplicity and frugality of habits enabled him not only to limit his own expenditure to a very small sum, but whose christian liberality and unselfishness prompted him to give all that he could thus save to purely benevolent objects. while he had but thirty pounds a year, he lived on twenty-eight and gave away forty shillings. receiving twice as much the next year, he still kept his living expenses down to the twenty-eight pounds and had thirty-two to bestow on the needy; and when the third year his income rose to ninety pounds, he spent no more than before and gave away sixty-two. the fourth year brought one hundred and twenty, and he disbursed still but the same sum for his own needs, having ninety-two to spare. it is calculated that in the course of his life he thus gave away at least thirty thousand pounds, and four silver spoons comprised all the silver plate that he possessed when the collectors of taxes called upon him. such economy on the one hand and such generosity on the other have seldom been known in human history. but george muller's record will compare favourably with this or any other of modern days. his frugality, simplicity, and economy were equal to wesley's, and his gifts aggregated eighty-one thousand pounds. mr. muller had received increasingly large sums from the lord which he _invested_ well and most profitably, so that for over sixty years he never lost a penny through a bad speculation! but his investments were not in lands or banks or railways, but in the _work of god._ he made friends out of the mammon of unrighteousness that when he failed received him into everlasting habitations. he continued, year after year, to make provision for himself, his beloved wife and daughter, by laying up treasure--in heaven. such a man had certainly a right to exhort others to systematic beneficence. he gave--as not one in a million gives--not a tithe, not any fixed proportion of annual income, but _all that was left_ after the simplest and most necessary supply of actual wants. while most christians regard themselves as doing their duty if, after they have given a portion to the lord, they spend all the rest on themselves, god led george muller to reverse this rule and reserve only the most frugal sum for personal needs, that the entire remainder might be given to him that needeth. the utter _revolution_ implied in our habits of giving which would be necessary were such a rule adopted is but too obvious. mr. muller's own words are: "my aim never was, how much i could _obtain,_ but rather how much i could give." he kept continually before him _his stewardship_ of god's property; and sought to make the most of the one brief life on earth, and to use for the best and largest good the property held by him in trust. the things of god were deep realities, and, projecting every action and decision and motive into the light of the judgment-seat of christ, he asked himself how it would appear to him in the light of that tribunal. thus he sought prayerfully and conscientiously so to live and labour, so to deny himself, and, by love, serve god and man, as that he should not be ashamed before him at his coming. but not in a spirit of _fear_ was this done; for if any man of his generation knew the perfect love that casts out fear, it was george muller. he felt that god is love, and love is of god. he saw that love manifested in the greatest of gifts--his only-begotten son at calvary--he knew and believed the love that god hath to us; he received it into his own heart; it became an abiding presence, manifested in obedience and benevolence, and, subduing him more and more, it became perfected so as to expel tormenting fear and impart a holy confidence and delight in god. among the texts which strongly impressed and moulded mr. muller's habits of giving was luke vi. : "give and it shall be given unto you. good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over shall men give into your bosom." he believed this promise and he verified it. his testimony is: "i had given, and god had caused to be given to me again, and bountifully." again he read: "it is more blessed to give than to receive." he says that he believed what he found in the word of god, and by his grace sought to act accordingly, and thus again records that he was blessed abundantly and his peace and joy in the holy ghost increased more and more. it will not be a surprise, therefore, that, as has been already noted, mr. muller's _entire personal estate_ at his death, as sworn to, when the will was admitted to probate, was only pounds s. d., of which books, household furniture, etc., were reckoned at over one hundred pounds, the only _money_ in his possession being a trifle over sixty pounds, and even this only awaiting disbursement as god's steward. the will of mr. muller contains a pregnant clause which should not be forgotten in this memorial. it closes with a paragraph which is deeply significant as meant to be his posthumous word of testimony--"a last testament": "i cannot help admiring god's wondrous grace in bringing me to the knowledge of the lord jesus when i was an entirely careless and thoughtless young man, and that he has kept me in his fear and truth, allowing me the great honour, for so long a time, of serving him." in the comprehensive summary contained in this fifty-ninth report, remarkable growth is apparent during the sixty-four years since the outset of the work in . during the year ending may , , the number of day-schools was , and of pupils, ; the number of children in attendance from the beginning, , . the number of home sunday-schools, , and of children in them, ; but from the beginning, , . the number of sunday-schools _aided_ in england and wales, . the amount expended in connection with home schools, pounds s. d.; from the outset, , pounds s. d. the bibles and parts thereof circulated, , ; from the beginning, , , . money expended for this purpose the past year, pounds; from the first, , pounds s. d. missionary labourers aided, . money expended, pounds s. d; from the outset, , pounds s. d. circulation of books and tracts, , , . money spent, pounds s.; and from the first, , pounds s. d. the number of orphans on ashley down, ; and from the first, , . money spent in orphan houses, last year, , pounds s. d.; and from the beginning, , pounds. to carry out conviction into action is sometimes a costly sacrifice; but whatever mr. muller's fidelity to conviction cost in one way, he had stupendous results of his life-work to contemplate, even while he lived. let any one look at the above figures and facts, and remember that here was one poor man who, dependent on the help of god only in answer to prayer, could look back over threescore years and see how he had built five large orphan houses and taken into his family over ten thousand orphans, expending, for their good, within twelve thousand pounds of a round million. he had given aid to day-schools and sunday-schools, in this and other lands, where nearly one hundred and fifty thousand children have been taught, at a cost of over one hundred and ten thousand pounds more. he had circulated nearly two million bibles and parts thereof at the cost of over forty thousand pounds; and over three million books and tracts, at a cost of nearly fifty thousand pounds more. and besides all this he had spent over two hundred and sixty thousand pounds to aid missionary labourers in various lands. the sum total of the money thus spent during sixty years has thus reached very nearly the astonishing aggregate of one and a half million of pounds sterling ($ , , ). to summarize mr. muller's service we must understand his great secret. such a life and such a work are the result of one habit more than all else,--daily and frequent communion with god. unwearied in supplications and intercessions, we have seen how, in every new need and crisis, prayer was the one resort, the prayer of faith. he first satisfied himself that he was in the way of duty; then he fixed his mind upon the unchanging word of promise; then, in the boldness of a suppliant who comes to a throne of grace in the name of jesus christ and pleads the assurance of the immutable promiser, he presented every petition. he was an unwearied intercessor. no delay discouraged him. this is seen particularly in the case of individuals for whose conversion or special guidance into the paths of full obedience he prayed. on his prayer list were the names of some for whom he had besought god, daily, by name, for one, two, three, four, six, ten years before the answer was given. the year just before his death, he told the writer of two parties for whose reconciliation to god he had prayed, day by day, _for over sixty years,_ and who had not as yet to his knowledge turned unto god: and he significantly added, "i have not a doubt that i shall meet them both in heaven; for my heavenly father would not lay upon my heart a burden of prayer for them for over threescore years, if he had not concerning them purposes of mercy." this is a sufficient example of his almost unparalleled perseverance and importunity in intercession. however long the delay, he held on, as with both hands clasping the very horns of the altar; and his childlike spirit reasoned simply but confidently, that the very fact of his own spirit being so long drawn out in prayer for one object, and of the lord's enabling him so to continue patiently and believingly to wait on him for the blessing, was a promise and prophecy of the answer; and so he waited on, so assured of the ultimate result that he praised god in advance, believing that he had practically received that for which he asked. it is most helpful here to add that one of the parties for whom for so many years he unceasingly prayed has recently died in faith, having received the promises and embraced them and confessed jesus as his lord. just before leaving bristol with this completed manuscript of mr. muller's life, i met a lady, a niece of the man referred to, through whom i received a knowledge of these facts. he had, before his departure, given most unequivocal testimony to his faith and hope in the saviour of sinners. if george muller could still speak to us, he would again repeat the warning so frequently found in his journal and reports, that his fellow disciples must not regard him as a _miracle-worker,_ as though his experience were to be accounted so exceptional as to have little application in our ordinary spheres of life and service. with patient repetition he affirms that in all essentials such an experience is the privilege of all believers. god calls disciples to various forms of _work,_ but all alike to the same _faith._ to say, therefore, "i am not called to build orphan houses, etc., and have no right to expect answers to my prayers as mr. muller did," is wrong and unbelieving. every child of god, he maintained, is first to get into the sphere appointed of god, and therein to exercise full trust, and live by faith upon god's sure word of promise. throughout all these thousands of pages written by his pen, he teaches that every experience of god's faithfulness is both the reward of past faith and prayer, and the preparation of the servant of god for larger work and more efficient service and more convincing witness to his lord. no man can understand such a work who does not see in it the _supernatural_ power of god. without that the enigma defies solution; with that all the mystery is at least an open mystery. he himself felt from first to last that this supernatural factor was the key to the whole work, and without that it would have been even to himself a problem inexplicable. how pathetically we find him often comparing himself and his work for god to "the burning bush in the wilderness" which, always aflame and always threatened with apparent destruction, was not consumed, so that not a few turned aside wondering to see this great sight. and why was it not burnt? because jehovah of hosts, who was in the bush, dwelt in the man and in his work: or, as wesley said with almost his last breath, "best of all, god is with us." this simile of the burning bush is the more apt when we consider the _rapid growth of the work._ at first so very small as to seem almost insignificant, and conducted in one small rented house, accommodating thirty orphans, then enlarged until other rented premises became necessary; then one, two, three, four, and even five immense structures being built, until three hundred, seven hundred, eleven hundred and fifty, and finally two thousand and fifty inmates could find shelter within them,--how seldom has the world seen such vast and, at the same time, rapid enlargement! then look at the outlay! at first a trifling expenditure of perhaps five hundred pounds for the first year of the scriptural knowledge institution, and of five hundred pounds for the first twelve month of the orphan work, and in the last year of mr. muller's life a grand total of over twenty-seven thousand five hundred, for all the purposes of the institution. the cost of the houses built on ashley down might have staggered a man of large capital, but this poor man only cried and the lord helped him. the first house cost fifteen thousand pounds; the second, over twenty-one thousand; the third, over twenty-three thousand; and the fourth and fifth, from fifty thousand to sixty thousand more--so that the total cost reached about one hundred and fifteen thousand. besides all this, there was a yearly expenditure which rose as high as twenty-five thousand for the orphans alone, irrespective of those occasional outlays made needful for emergencies, such as improved sanitary precautions, which in one case cost over two thousand pounds. here is a burning bush indeed, always in seeming danger of being consumed, yet still standing on ashley down, and still preserved because the same presence of jehovah burns in it. not a branch of this many-sided work has utterly perished, while the whole bush still challenges unbelievers to turn aside and see the great sight, and take off the shoes from their feet as on holy ground where god manifests himself. any complete survey of this great life-work must include much that was wholly outside of the scriptural knowledge institution; such as that service which mr. muller was permitted to render to the church of christ and the world at large as a preacher, pastor, witness for truth, and author of books and tracts. his preaching period covered the whole time from to , the year of his departure, over seventy years; and from , when he went to teignmouth, his preaching continued, without interruption except from ill health, until his life closed, with an average through the whole period of probably three sermons a week, or over ten thousand for his lifetime. this is probably a low estimate, for during his missionary tours, which covered over two hundred thousand miles and were spread through' seventeen years, he spoke on an average about once a day notwithstanding already advanced age. his church life was much blessed even in visible and tangible results. during the first two and a half years of work in bristol, two hundred and twenty-seven members were added, about half of whom were new converts, and it is probable that, if the whole number brought to the knowledge of christ by his preaching could now be ascertained, it would be found to aggregate full as many as the average of those years, and would thus reach into the thousands, exclusive of orphans converted on ashley down. then when we take into account the vast numbers addressed and impressed by his addresses, given in all parts of the united kingdom, on the continent of europe, and in america, asia, and australia, and the still vaster numbers who have read his narrative, his books and tracts, or who have in various other ways felt the quickening power of his example and life, we shall get some conception--still, at best, inadequate--of the range and scope of the influence he wielded by his tongue and pen, his labours, and his life. much of the best influence defies all tabulated statistics and evades all mathematical estimates; it is like the fragrance of the alabaster flask which fills all the house but escapes our grosser senses of sight, hearing, and touch. this part of george muller's work we cannot summarize: it belongs to a realm where we cannot penetrate. but god sees, knows, and rewards it. chapter xxi the church life and growth throughout mr. muller's journal we meet scattered and fragmentary suggestions as to the true conception of christian teaching and practice, the nature and office of the christian ministry, the principles which should prevail in church conduct, the mutual relations of believers, and the spirit's relation to the body of christ, to pure worship, service, and testimony. these hints will be of more value if they are crystallized into unity so as to be seen in their connection with each other. the founder of the orphan houses began and ended his public career as a preacher, and, for over sixty years, was so closely related to one body of believers that no review of his life can be complete without a somewhat extended reference to the church in bristol of which he was one of the earliest leaders, and, of all who ministered to it, the longest in service. his church-work in bristol began with his advent to that city and ended only with his departure from it for the continuing city and the father's house. the joint ministry of himself and mr. henry craik has been traced already in the due order of events; but the development of church-life, under this apostolic ministry, furnishes instructive lessons which yield their full teaching only when gathered up and grouped together so as to secure unity, continuity, and completeness of impression. when mr. muller and mr. craik began joint work in bristol, foundations needed to be relaid. the church-life, as they found it, was not on a sufficiently scriptural basis, and they waited on god for wisdom to adjust it more completely to his word and will. this was the work of time, for it required the instruction of fellow believers so that they might be prepared to cooperate, by recognizing scriptural and spiritual teaching; it required also the creation of that bond of sympathy which inclines the flock to hear and heed the shepherd's voice, and follow a true pastoral leadership. at the outset of their ministry, these brethren carefully laid down some principles on which their ministry was to be based. on may , , they frankly stated, at gideon chapel, certain terms on which alone they could take charge of the church: they must be regarded as simply god's servants to labour among them so long as, and in such way as might be his will, and under no bondage of fixed rules; they desired pew-rents to be done away with, and voluntary offerings substituted, etc. there was already, however, a strong conviction that a new start was in some respects indispensable if the existing church-life was to be thoroughly modelled on a scriptural pattern. these brethren determined to stamp upon the church certain important features such as these: apostolic simplicity of worship, evangelical teaching, evangelistic work, separation from the world, systematic giving, and dependence on prayer. they desired to give great prominence to the simple testimony of the word, to support every department of the work by free-will offerings, to recognize the holy spirit as the one presiding and governing power in all church assemblies, and to secure liberty for all believers in the exercise of spiritual gifts as distributed by that spirit to all members of the body of christ for service. they believed it scriptural to break bread every lord's day, and to baptize by immersion; and, although this latter has not for many years been a term of communion or of fellowship, believers have always been carefully taught that this is the duty of all disciples. it has been already seen that in august, , seven persons in all, including these two pastors, met at bethesda chapel to unite in fellowship, without any formal basis or bond except that of loyalty to the word and spirit of god. this step was taken in order to start anew, without the hindrance of customs already prevailing, which were felt to be unscriptural and yet were difficult to abolish without discordant feeling; and, from that date on, bethesda chapel has been the home of an assembly of believers who have sought steadfastly to hold fast the new testament basis of church-life. such blessed results are largely due to these beloved colleagues in labour who never withheld their testimony, but were intrepidly courageous and conscientiously faithful in witnessing against whatever they deemed opposed to the word. love ruled, but was not confounded with laxity in matters of right and wrong; and, as they saw more clearly what was taught in the word, they sought to be wholly obedient to the lord's teaching and leading, and to mould and model every matter, however minute, in every department of duty, private or public, according to the expressed will of god. in january, , all teachers who were not believers were dismissed from the sunday-school; and, in the dorcas society, only believing sisters were accepted to make clothes for the destitute. the reason was that it had been found unwise and unwholesome to mix up or yoke together believers and unbelievers.* such association proved a barrier to spiritual converse and injurious to both classes, fostering in the unbelievers a false security, ensnaring them in a delusive hope that to help in christian work might somehow atone for rejection of jesus christ as a saviour, or secure favour from god and an open door into heaven. no doubt all this indiscriminate association of children of god with children of the world in a "mixed multitude" is unscriptural. unregenerate persons are tempted to think there is some merit at least in mingling with worshippers and workers, and especially in giving to the support of the gospel and its institutions. the devil seeks to persuade such that it is acceptable to god to conform externally to religious rites, and forms, and take part in outward acts of service and sacrifice, and that he will deal leniently with them, despite their unbelief and disobedience. mr. muller and mr. craik felt keenly that this danger existed and that even in minor matters there must be a line of separation, for the sake of all involved. * cor. vi. - . when, in , in connection with the congregation at bethesda, the question was raised--commonly known as that of close communion--whether believers who had not been baptized as such should be received into fellowship, it was submitted likewise to the one test of clear scripture teaching. some believers were conscientiously opposed to such reception, but the matter was finally and harmoniously settled by "receiving all who love our lord jesus into full communion, irrespective of baptism," and mr. muller, looking back forty-four years later upon this action, bears witness that the decision never became a source of dissension.* * appendix l. in all other church matters, prayer and searching the word, asking counsel of the holy oracles and wisdom from above, were the one resort, and the resolution of all difficulties. when, in the spring of , sundry questions arose somewhat delicate and difficult to adjust, mr. muller and mr. craik quietly withdrew from bristol for two weeks, to give themselves to prayer and meditation, seeking of god definite direction. the matters then at issue concerned the scriptural conception, mode of selection and appointment, scope of authority and responsibility, of _the eldership;_ the proper mode of observance of the _lord's supper,_ its frequency, proper subjects, etc. nothing is ever settled finally until settled rightly, nor settled rightly until settled scripturally. a serious peril confronted the church--not of controversy only, but of separation and schism; and in such circumstances mere discussion often only fans the embers of strife and ends in hopeless alienation. these spiritually minded pastors followed the apostolic method, referring all matters to the scriptures as the one rule of faith and practice, and to the holy spirit as the presiding presence in the church of god; and they purposely retired into seclusion from the strife of tongues and of conflicting human opinion, that they might know the mind of the lord and act accordingly. the results, as might be foreseen, were clear light from above for themselves, and a united judgment among the brethren; but more than this, god gave them wisdom so to act, combining the courage of conviction with the meekness and gentleness of christ, as that all clouds were dispelled and peace restored.* * appendix m. for about eight years, services had been held in both gideon and bethesda chapels; but on april , , the last of the services conducted by mr. muller and mr. craik was held at gideon,--bethesda, from this time on, becoming the central place of assembly. the reasons for this step were somewhat as follows: these joint pastors strongly felt, with some others, that not a few of the believers who assembled at gideon chapel were a hindrance to the clear, positive, and united testimony which should be given both to the church and world; and it was on this account that, after many meetings for prayer and conference, seeking to know god's mind, it was determined to relinquish gideon as a place of worship. the questions involved affected the preservation of the purity and simplicity of apostolic worship, and so the conformity of church-life to the new testament pattern. these well-yoked pastors were very jealous for the lord god of hosts, that, among the saints to whom they ministered, nothing should find a lodgment which was not in entire accord with scriptural principles, precepts, and practices. perhaps it is well here to put on record, even at risk of repetition, the principles which mr. muller and his colleague were wont to enforce as guards or landmarks which should be set up and kept up, in order to exclude those innovations which always bring spiritual declension. . believers should meet, simply as such, without reference to denominational lines, names, or distinctions, as a corrective and preventive of sectarianism. . they should steadfastly maintain the holy scriptures as the divine rule and standard of doctrine, deportment, and discipline. . they should encourage freedom for the exercise of whatever spiritual gifts the lord might be pleased by his spirit to bestow for general edification. . assemblies on the lord's day should be primarily for believers, for the breaking of bread, and for worship; unbelievers sitting promiscuously among saints would either hinder the appearance of meeting for such purposes, or compel a pause between other parts of the service and the lord's supper. . the pew-rent system should be abolished, as promoting the caste spirit, or at least the outward appearance of a false distinction between the poorer and richer classes, especially as pew-holders commonly look on their sittings as private property. . all money contributed for pastoral support, church work, and missionary enterprises at home and abroad should be by free-will offerings. it was because some of these and other like scriptural principles were thought to be endangered or compromised by practices prevailing at gideon chapel before mr. muller and mr. craik took charge, that it seemed best on the whole to relinquish that chapel as a place of worship. as certain customs there obtaining had existed previously, it seemed to these godly-minded brethren that it would be likely to cause needless offence and become a root of bitterness should they require what they deemed unscriptural to be renounced; and it seemed the way of love to give up gideon chapel after these eight years of labour there, and to invite such as felt called on to separate from every sectarian system, and meet for worship where free exercise would be afforded for every spiritual gift, and where new testament methods might be more fully followed, to assemble with other believers at bethesda, where previous hindering conditions had not existed. mr. muller remained very intimately connected with bethesda and its various outgrowths, for many years, as the senior pastor, or elder,--though only _primus inter pares,_ i.e., leader among equals. his opinions about the work of the ministry and the conduct of church-life, which did so much to shape the history of these churches, therefore form a necessary part of this sketch of the development of church-life. it was laid upon his heart frequently to address his brethren in the ministry of the word and the curacy of souls. everywhere, throughout the world, he welcomed opportunities for interviews, whether with many or few, upon whom he could impress his own deep convictions as to the vital secrets of effective service in the pulpit and pastorate. such meetings with brethren in the ministry numbered hundreds and perhaps thousands in the course of his long life, and as his testimony was essentially the same on all occasions, a single utterance may be taken as the type of all. during his american tours, he gave an hour's address which was reported and published, and the substance of which may therefore be given. first of all he laid great stress upon the _need of conversion._ until a man is both truly turned unto god and sure of this change in himself he is not fitted to convert others. the ministry is not a human profession, but a divine vocation. the true preacher is both a _herald_ and a _witness,_ and hence must back up his message by his personal testimony from experience. but even conversion is not enough: there must be an _intimate knowledge of the lord jesus._ one must know the lord as coming near to himself, and know the joy and strength found in hourly access. however it be done, and at any cost, the minister of christ must reach this close relationship. it is an absolute necessity to peace and power. _growth in happiness and love_ was next made very prominent. it is impossible to set limits to the experience of any believer who casts himself wholly on god, surrenders himself wholly to god, and cherishes deep love for his word and holy intimacy with himself. the first business of every morning should be to secure happiness in god. he who is to nourish others must carefully _feed his own soul._ daily reading and study of the scriptures, with much prayer, especially in the early morning hours, was strenuously urged. quietness before god should be habitually cultivated, calming the mind and freeing it from preoccupation. continuous reading of the word, in course, will throw light upon the general teaching of the word, and reveal god's thoughts in their variety and connection, and go far to correct erroneous views. _holiness_ must be the supreme aim: prompt obedience to all known truth, a single eye in serving god, and zeal for his glory. many a life has been more or less a failure because habits of heart well pleasing to god have been neglected. nothing is more the crowning grace than the unconscious grace of _humility._ all praise of man robs god of his own honour. let us therefore be humble and turn all eyes unto god. the _message_ must be gotten from god, if it is to be with power. "ask god for it," said mr. muller, "and be not satisfied until the heart is at rest. when the text is obtained ask further guidance in meditating upon it, and keep in constant communion so as to get god's mind in the matter and his help in delivery. then, after the work is done, pray much for blessing, as well as in advance." he then told some startling facts as to seed sown many years before, but even now yielding fruit in answer to prayer. he laid also special emphasis upon _expounding the scripture._ the word of god is the staple of all preaching; christ and nothing else the centre of all true ministry of the word. whoever faithfully and constantly preaches christ will find god's word not returning to him void. preach simply. luther's rule was to speak so that an ignorant maid-servant could understand; if she does, the learned professor certainly will; but it does not hold true that the simple understand all that the wise do. mr. muller seldom addressed his brethren in the ministry without giving more or less counsel as to the conduct of church-life, giving plain witness against such hindrances as unconverted singers and choirs, secular methods of raising money, pew-rents and caste distinctions in the house of prayer, etc.; and urging such helps as inquirers' meetings, pastoral visits, and, above all else, believing prayer. he urged definite praying and importunate praying, and remarked that satan will not mind how we labour in prayer for a few days, weeks, or even months, if he can at last discourage us so that we cease praying, as though it were of no use. as to prayers for past seed-sowing, he told the writer of this memoir how in all supplication to god he looked not only forward but _backward._ he was wont to ask that the lord would be pleased to bless seed long since sown and yet apparently unfruitful; and he said that, in answer to these prayers, he had up to that day evidence of god's loving remembrance of his work of faith and labour of love in years long gone by. he was permitted to know that messages delivered for god, tracts scattered, and other means of service had, after five, ten, twenty, and even sixty years, at last brought forth a harvest. hence his urgency in advising fellow labourers to pray unceasingly that god would work mightily in the hearts of those who had once been under their care, bringing to their remembrance the truth which had been set before them. the humility mr. muller enjoined he practised. he was ever only the _servant_ of the lord. mr. spurgeon, in one of his sermons, describes the startling effect on london bridge when he saw one lamp after another lit up with flame, though in the darkness he could not see the lamplighter; and george muller set many a light burning when he was himself content to be unseen, unnoticed, and unknown. he honestly sought not his own glory, but had the meek and quiet spirit so becoming a minister of jesus christ. mr. henry craik's death in , after thirty-four years of co-labour in the lord, left mr. muller comparatively alone with a double burden of responsibility, but his faith was equal to the crisis and his peace remained unbroken. a beloved brother, then visiting bristol, after crowded services conducted by him at bethesda, was about leaving the city; and he asked mr. muller, "what are you going to do, now that mr. craik is dead, to hold the people and prevent their scattering?" "my beloved brother," was the calm reply, "we shall do what we have always done, _look only to the lord."_ this god has been the perpetual helper. mr. muller almost totally withdrew from the work, during the seventeen years of his missionary tours, between and , when he was in bristol but a few weeks or months at a time, in the intervals between his long journeys and voyages. this left the assembly of believers still more dependent upon the great shepherd and bishop of souls. but bethesda has never, in a sense, been limited to any one or two men, as the only acknowledged leaders; from the time when those seven believers gathered about the lord's table in , the new testament conception of the equality of believers in privilege and duty has been maintained. the one supreme leader is the holy ghost, and under him those whom he calls and qualifies. one of the fundamental principles espoused by these brethren is that the spirit of god controls in the assemblies of the saints; that he sets the members, every one of them, in the body as it pleaseth him, and divides unto them, severally as he will, gifts for service in the body; that the only true ordination is his ordination, and that the manifestation of his gifts is the sufficient basis for the recognition of brethren as qualified for the exercise of an office or function, the possession of spiritual gifts being sufficient authority for their exercise. it is with the body of christ as with the human body: the eye is manifestly made for seeing and the ear for hearing, the hand and foot for handling and walking; and this adaptation both shows the design of god and their place in the organism. and so for more than threescore years the holy spirit has been safely trusted to supply and qualify all needed teachers, helpers, and leaders in the assembly. there has always been a considerable number of brethren and sisters fitted and disposed to take up the various departments of service to which they were obviously called of the spirit, so that no one person has been indispensable. various brethren have been able to give more or less time and strength to preaching, visiting, and ruling in the church; while scores of others, who, like paul, priscilla and aquila, the tent-makers, have their various business callings and seek therein to "abide with god," are ready to aid as the lord may guide in such other forms of service as may consist with their ordinary vocations. the prosperity of the congregation, its growth, conduct, and edification, have therefore been dependent only on god, who, as he has withdrawn one worker after another, has supplied others in their stead, and so continues to do. to have any adequate conception of the fruits of such teaching and such living in church-life, it is needful to go at least into one of the monday-night prayer meetings at bethesda. it is primitive and apostolic in simplicity. no one presides but the unseen spirit of god. a hymn is suggested by some brother, and then requests for prayer are read, usually with definite mention of the names of those by and for whom supplication is asked. then prayer, scripture reading, singing, and exhortation follow, without any prearrangement as to subject, order in which or persons by whom, the exercises are participated in. the fullest liberty is encouraged to act under the spirit's guidance; and the fact of such guidance is often strikingly apparent in the singular unity of prayer and song, scripture reading and remarks, as well as in the harmonious fellowship apparent. after more than half a century these monday-night prayer services are still a hallowed centre of attraction, a rallying-point for supplication, and a radiating-point for service, and remain unchanged in the method of their conduct. the original congregation has proved a tree whose seed is in itself after its kind. at the time of mr. muller's decease it was nearly sixty-six years since that memorable evening in when those seven believers met to form a church; and the original body of disciples meeting in bethesda had increased to ten, six of which are now independent of the mother church, and four of which still remain in close affiliation and really constitute one church, though meeting in bethesda, alma road, stokes croft, and totterdown chapels. the names of the other churches which have been in a sense offshoots from bethesda are as follows: unity, bishopston, cumberland hall, charleton hall, nicholas road, and bedminster. at the date of mr. muller's decease the total membership of the four affiliated congregations was upwards of twelve hundred. in this brief compass no complete outline could be given of the church life and work so dear to him, and over which he so long watched and prayed. this church has been and is a missionary church. when on march , , mr. and mrs. groves, with ten helpers, left bristol to carry on mission work in the east indies, mr. muller felt deeply moved to pray that the body of disciples to whom he ministered might send out from their own members labourers for the wide world-field. that prayer was not forgotten before god, and has already been answered exceeding abundantly above all he then asked or thought. since that time some sixty have gone forth to lands afar to labour in the gospel, and at the period of mr. muller's death there were at work, in various parts of the world, at least twenty, who are aided by the free-will offerings of their bristol brethren. when, in , mr. muller closed the third volume of his narrative, he recorded the interesting fact that, of the many nonconformist ministers of the gospel resident in bristol when he took up work there more than forty-two years before, _not one remained,_ all having been removed elsewhere or having died; and that, of all the evangelical clergy of the establishment, only _one_ survived. yet he himself, with very rare hindrance through illness, was permitted to preach and labour with health and vigour both of mind and body; over a thousand believers were already under his pastoral oversight, meeting in three different chapels, and over three thousand had been admitted into fellowship. it was the writer's privilege to hear mr. muller preach on the morning of march , , in bethesda chapel. he was in his ninety-first year, but there was a freshness, vigour, and terseness in his preaching that gave no indication of failing powers; in fact, he had never seemed more fitted to express and impress the thoughts of god. his theme was the seventy-seventh psalm, and it afforded him abundant scope for his favourite subject--prayer. he expounded the psalm verse by verse, clearly, sympathetically, effectively, and the outline of his treatment strongly engraved itself on my memory and is here reproduced. "i cried unto god with my voice." prayer seeks a voice--to utter itself in words: the effort to clothe our desires in language gives definiteness to our desires and keeps the attention on the objects of prayer. "in the day of my trouble." the psalmist was in trouble; some distress was upon him, perhaps physical as well as mental, and it was an unceasing burden night and day. "my soul refused to be comforted." the words, "my sore ran in the night," may be rendered, "my hand reached out"--that is in prayer. but unbelief triumphed, and his soul refused all comfort--even the comfort of god's promises. his trouble overshadowed his faith and shut out the vision of god. "i remembered, or thought of god, and was troubled." even the thought of god, instead of bringing peace, brought distress; instead of silencing his complaint, it increased it, and his spirit was overwhelmed--the sure sign, again, of unbelief. if in trouble god's promises and the thought of god bring no relief, they will only become an additional burden. "thou holdest mine eyes waking." there was no sleep because there was no rest or peace. care makes wakeful. anxiety is the foe of repose. his spirit was unbelieving and therefore rebellious. he would not take god at his word. "i have considered the days of old." memory now is at work. he calls to remembrance former experiences of trouble and of deliverance. he had often sought god and been heard and helped, and why not now? as he made diligent search among the records of his experience and recollected all god's manifest and manifold interpositions, he began to ask whether god could be fickle and capricious, whether his mercy was exhausted and his promise withdrawn, whether he had forgotten his covenant of grace, and shut up his fountains of love. thus we follow the psalmist through six stages of unbelief: . the thought of god is a burden instead of a blessing. . the complaining spirit increases toward god. . his spirit is agitated instead of soothed and calmed. . sleep departs, and anxiety forbids repose of heart. . trouble only deepens and god seems far off. . memory recalls god's mercies, but only to awaken distrust. at last we reach the _turning-point_ in the psalm: he asks as he reviews former experiences, where is the difference? is the change in god or in me? "selah"--the pause marks this turning-point in the argument or experience. "and i said, this is _my infirmity."_ in other words, "i have been a fool!" god is faithful. he never casts off. his children are always dear to him. his grace is exhaustless and his promise unfailing. instead of fixing his eyes on his trouble he now fixes his whole mind on god. he remembers his work, and meditates upon it; instead of rehearsing his own trials, he talks of his doings. he gets overwhelmed now, not with the greatness of his troubles, but the greatness of his helper. he recalls his miracles of power and love, and remembers the mystery of his mighty deeds--his way in the sea, his strange dealings and leadings and their gracious results--and so faith once more triumphs. what is the conclusion, the practical lesson? unbelief is folly. it charges god foolishly. man's are the weakness and failure, but never god's. my faith may be lacking, but not his power. memory and meditation, when rightly directed, correct unbelief. god has shown himself great. he has always done wonders. he led even an unbelieving and murmuring people out of egypt and for forty years through the wilderness, and his miracles of power and love were marvelous. the psalm contains a _great lesson._ affliction is inevitable. but our business is never to lose sight of the father who will not leave his children. we are to roll all burdens on him and wait patiently, and deliverance is sure. behind the curtain he carries on his plan of love, never forgetting us, always caring for his own. his ways of dealing we cannot trace, for his footsteps are in the trackless sea, and unknown to us. but he is surely leading, and constantly loving. let us not be fools, but pray in faith to a faithful god. this is the substance of that morning exposition, and is here given very inadequately, it is true, yet it serves not only to illustrate mr. muller's mode of expounding and applying the word, but the exposition of this psalm is a sort of exponent also of his life. it reveals his habits of prayer, the conflicts with unbelief, and how out of temptations to distrust god he found deliverance; and thus is doubly valuable to us as an experimental commentary upon the life-history we are studying. chapter xxii a glance at the gifts and the givers there is one who still sits over against the treasury, watching the gifts cast into it, and impartially weighing their worth, estimating the rich man's millions and the widow's mites, not by the amount given, but by the motives which impel and the measure of self-sacrifice accepted for the lord's sake. the ample supplies poured into mr. muller's hands came alike from those who had abundance of wealth and from those whose only abundance was that of deep poverty, but the rills as well as the rivers were from god. it is one of the charms of this life-story to observe the variety of persons and places, sums of money and forms of help, connected with the donations made to the lord's work; and the exact adaptation between the need and the supply, both as to time and amount. some instances of this have been given in the historic order; but to get a more complete view of the lessons which they suggest it is helpful to classify some of the striking and impressive examples, which are so abundant, and which afford such valuable hints as to the science and the art of giving. valuable lessons may be drawn from the beautiful spirit shown by givers and from the secret history of their gifts. in some cases the facts were not known till long after, even by mr. muller himself; and when known, could not be disclosed to the public while the parties were yet alive. but when it became possible and proper to unveil these hidden things they were revealed for the glory of god and the good of others, and shine on the pages of this record like stars in the sky. paul rejoiced in the free-will offerings of philippian disciples, not because he desired a gift, but fruit that might abound to their account; not because their offerings ministered to his necessity, but because they became a sacrifice of a sweet smell acceptable, well pleasing to god. such joy constantly filled mr. muller's heart. he was daily refreshed and reinvigorated by the many proofs that the gifts received had been first sanctified by prayer and self-denial. he lived and breathed amid the fragrance of sweet-savour offerings, permitted for more than threescore years to participate in the joy of the lord himself over the cheerful though often costly gifts of his people. by reason of identification with his master, the servant caught the sweet scent of these sacrifices as their incense rose from his altars toward heaven. even on earth the self-denials of his own life found compensation in thus acting in the lord's behalf in receiving and disbursing these gifts; and, he says, "the lord thus impressed on me from the beginning that the orphan houses and work were his, _not_ mine." many a flask of spikenard, very precious, broken upon the feet of the saviour, for the sake of the orphans, or the feeding of starving souls with the bread of life, filled the house with the odour of the ointment, so that to dwell there was to breathe a hallowed atmosphere of devotion. among the first givers to the work was a poor needlewoman, who, to mr. muller's surprise, brought _one hundred pounds._ she earned by her work only an _average, per week,_ of _three shillings and sixpence,_ and was moreover weak in body. a small legacy of less than five hundred pounds from her grandmother's estate had come to her at her father's death by the conditions of her grandmother's will. but that father had died a drunkard and a bankrupt, and her brothers and sisters had settled with his creditors by paying them five shillings to the pound. to her conscience, this seemed robbing the creditors of three fourths of their claim, and, though they had no legal hold upon her, she privately paid them the other fifteen shillings to the pound, of the unpaid debts of her father. moreover, when her unconverted brother and two sisters gave each fifty pounds to the widowed mother, she as a child of god felt that she should give double that amount. by this time her own share of the legacy was reduced to a small remainder, and it was out of this that she gave the one hundred pounds for the orphan work! as mr. muller's settled principle was _never to grasp eagerly at any gift whatever the need or the amount of the gift,_ before accepting this money he had a long conversation with this woman, seeking to prevent her from giving either from an unsanctified motive or in unhallowed haste, without counting the cost. he would in such a case dishonour his master by accepting the gift, as though god were in need of our offerings. careful scrutiny, however, revealed no motives not pure and christlike; this woman had calmly and deliberately reached her decision. "the lord jesus," she said, "has given his last drop of blood for me, and should i not give him this hundred pounds?" he who comes into contact with such givers in his work for god finds therein a means of grace. this striking incident lends a pathetic interest to the beginnings of the orphan work, and still more as we further trace the story of this humble needlewoman. she had been a habitual giver, but so unobtrusively that, while she lived, not half a dozen people knew of either the legacy or of this donation. afterward, however, it came to the light that in many cases she had quietly and most unostentatiously given food, clothing, and like comforts to the deserving poor. her gifts were so disproportionate to her means that her little capital rapidly diminished. mr. muller was naturally very reluctant to accept what she brought, until he saw that the love of christ constrained her. he could then do no less than to receive her offering, in his master's name, while like the master he exclaimed, "o woman, great is thy faith!" five features made her benevolence praiseworthy. first, all these deeds of charity were done in secret and without any show; and she therefore was kept humble, not puffed up with pride through human applause; her personal habits of dress and diet remained as simple after her legacy as before, and to the last she worked with her needle for her own support; and, finally, while her _earnings_ were counted in shillings and pence, her _givings_ were counted in sovereigns or five-pound notes, and in one case by the hundred pounds. her money was entirely gone, years before she was called higher, but the faithful god never forgot his promise: "i will never leave thee nor forsake thee." never left to want, even after bodily weakness forbade her longer to ply her needle, she asked no human being for help, but in whatever straits made her appeal to god, and was not only left to suffer no lack, but, in the midst of much bodily suffering, her mouth was filled with holy song. mr. muller records the _first bequest_ as from a dear lad who died in the faith. during his last illness, he had received a gift of some new silver coins; and he asked that this, his only treasure in money, might be sent for the orphans. with pathetic tenderness mr. muller adds that this precious little legacy of _six shillings sixpence halfpenny,_ received september , , was the first they ever had. those who estimate all donations by money-worth can little understand how welcome such a bequest was; but to such a man this small donation, bequeathed by one of christ's little ones, and representing all he possessed, was of inestimable worth. in may, , a gold watch and chain were accompanied by a brief note, the contents of which suggest the possibilities of service, open to us through the voluntary limitation of artificial or imaginary wants. the note reads thus: "a pilgrim does not want such a watch as this to make him happy; one of an inferior kind will do to show him how swiftly time flies, and how fast he is hastening on to that canaan where time will be no more: so that it is for you to do with this what it seemeth good to you. it is the last relic of earthly vanity, and, while i am in the body, may i be kept from all idolatry!" in march, , a contribution reached mr. muller from one who had been enabled in a like spirit to increase the amount over all previous gifts by the sale of some jewelry which had been put away in accordance with peter iii. . how much superfluous ornament, worn by disciples, might be blessedly sacrificed for the lord's sake! the one ornament which is in his sight of great price would shine with far more lustre if it were the only one worn. another instance of turning all things to account was seen in the case of a giver who sent a box containing four old crown pieces which had a curious history. they were the wedding-day present of a bridegroom to his bride, who, reluctant to spend her husband's first gift, kept them until she passed them over, as heirlooms, to her four grand-children. they were thus at last put out to usury, after many years of gathering "rust" in hoarded idleness and uselessness. little did bridegroom or bride foresee how these coins, after more than a hundred years, would come forth from their hiding-place to be put to the lord's uses. few people have ever calculated how much is lost to every good cause by the simple withdrawal of money from circulation. those four crown pieces had they been carefully invested, so as to double in value, by compound interest, every ten years, would have increased to one thousand pounds during the years they had lain idle! one gift was sent in, as an offering to the lord, instead of being used to purchase an engagement-ring by two believers who desired their lives to be united by that highest bond, the mutual love of the lord who spared not his own blood for them. at another time, a box came containing a new satin jacket, newly bought, but sacrificed as a snare to pride. its surrender marked an epoch, for henceforth the owner determined to spend in dress only what is needful, and not waste the lord's money on costly apparel. enlightened believers look on all things as inalienably god's, and, even in the voluntary diversion of money into sacred rather than selfish channels, still remember that they give to him only what is his own! "the little child feels proud that he can drop the money into the box after the parent has supplied the means, and told him to do so; and so god's children are sometimes tempted to think that they are giving of their own, and to be proud over their gifts, forgetting the divine father who both gives us all we have and bids us give all back to him." a gift of two thousand pounds on january , , was accompanied by a letter confessing that the possession of property had given the writer much trouble of mind, and it had been disposed of from a conviction that the lord "saw it not good" for him to _hold so much_ and therefore allowed its possession to be a curse rather than a blessing. fondness for possessions always entails curse, and external riches thus become a source of internal poverty. it is doubtful whether any child of god ever yet hoarded wealth without losing in spiritual attainment and enjoyment. greed is one of the lowest and most destructive of vices and turns a man into the likeness of the coin he worships, making him hard, cold, metallic, and unsympathetic, so that, as has been quaintly said, he drops into his coffin "with a chink." god estimates what we _give_ by what we _keep,_ for it is possible to bestow large sums and yet reserve so much larger amounts that no self-denial is possible. such giving to the lord _costs us nothing._ in , a brother in the lord took out of his pocket a roll of bank-notes, amounting to one hundred and ten pounds, and put it into mr. muller's hand, it being _more than one half of his entire worldly estate._ such giving is an illustration of self-sacrifice on a large scale, and brings corresponding blessing. the _motives_ prompting gifts were often unusually suggestive. in october, , a donation came from a christian merchant who, having sustained a heavy pecuniary loss, _wished to sanctify his loss by a gift to the lord's work._ shortly after, another offering was handed in by a young man in thankful remembrance that twenty-five years before mr. muller had prayed over him, as a child, that god would convert him. yet another gift, of thirty-five hundred pounds, came to him in , with a letter stating that the giver had further purposed to give to the orphan work the chief preference in his will, but had now seen it to be far better to _act as his own executor_ and give the whole amount while he lived. immense advantage would accrue, both to givers and to the causes they purpose to promote, were this principle generally adopted! there is "many a slip betwixt the cup" of the legator and "the lip" of the legatee. even a wrong wording of a will has often forfeited or defeated the intent of a legacy. mr. muller had to warn intending donors that nothing that was reckoned as real estate was available for legacies for charitable institutions, nor even money lent on real estate or in any other way derived therefrom. these conditions no longer exist, but they illustrate the ease with which a will may often be made void, and the design of a bequest be defeated. many donors were led to send thank-offerings for _avoided_ or _averted calamities:_ as, for example, for a sick horse, given up by the veterinary surgeon as lost, but which recovered in answer to prayer. another donor, who broke his left arm, sends grateful acknowledgment to god that it was not the _right_ arm, or some more vital part like the head or neck. the offerings were doubly precious because of the unwearied faithfulness of god who manifestly prompted them, and who kept speaking to the hearts of thousands, leading them to give so abundantly and constantly that no want was unsupplied. in , so great were the outlays of the work that if day by day, during the whole three hundred and sixty-five, fifty pounds had been received, the income would not have been more than enough. yet in a surprising variety and number of ways, and from persons and places no less numerous and various, donations came in. not one of twenty givers was personally known to mr. muller, and no one of all contributors had ever been asked for a gift, and yet, up to november, , over _six hundred thousand pounds_ had already been received, and in amounts varying from eighty-one hundred pounds down to a single farthing. unique circumstances connected with some donations made them remarkable. while resting at ilfracombe, in september, , a gentleman gave to mr. muller a sum of money, at the same time narrating the facts which led to the gift. he was a hard-working business man, wont to doubt the reality of spiritual things, and strongly questioned the truth of the narrative of answered prayers which he had read from mr. muller's pen. but, in view of the simple straightforward story, he could not rest in his doubts, and at last proposed to himself a test as to whether or not god was indeed with mr. muller, as he declared. he wished to buy a certain property if rated at a reasonable valuation; and he determined, if he should secure it at the low price which he set for himself, he would give to him one hundred pounds. he authorized a bid to be put in, in his behalf, but, curious to get the earliest information as to the success of his venture, he went himself to the place of sale, and was surprised to find the property actually knocked off to him at his own price. astonished at what he regarded as a proof that god was really working with mr. muller and for him, he made up his mind to go in person and pay over the sum of money to him, and so make his acquaintance and see the man whose prayers god answered. not finding him at bristol, he had followed him to ilfracombe. having heard his story, and having learned that he was from a certain locality, mr. muller remarked upon the frequent proofs of god's strange way of working on the minds of parties wholly unknown to him and leading them to send in gifts; and he added: "i had a letter from a lawyer in your very neighbourhood, shortly since, asking for the proper form for a bequest, as a client of his, not named, wished to leave one thousand pounds to the orphan work." it proved that the man with whom he was then talking was this nameless client, who, being convinced that his doubts were wrong, had decided to provide for this legacy. in august, , a christian brother from the united states called to see mr. muller. he informed him how greatly he had been blessed of god through reading his published testimony to god's faithfulness; and that having, through his sister's death, come into the possession of some property, he had _come across the sea,_ that he might see the orphan houses and know their founder, for himself, and hand over to him for the lord's work the entire bequest of about seven hundred pounds. only seventeen days later, a letter accompanying a donation gave further joy to mr. muller's heart. it was from the husband of one of the orphans who, in her seventeenth year, had left the institution, and to whom mr. muller himself, on her departure, had given the first two volumes of the reports. her husband had read them with more spiritual profit than any volume except the book of books, and had found his faith much strengthened. being a lay preacher in the methodist free church, the blessed impulses thus imparted to himself were used of god to inspire a like self-surrender in the class under his care. these are a few examples of the countless encouragements that led mr. muller, as he reviewed them, to praise god unceasingly. a christian physician enclosed ten pounds in a letter, telling how first he tried a religion of mere duty and failed; then, after a severe illness, learned a religion of love, apprehending the love of god to himself in christ and so learning how to love others. in his days of darkness he had been a great lover of flowers and had put up several plant-houses; flower-culture was his hobby, and a fine collection of rare plants, his pride. he took down and sold one of these conservatories and sent the proceeds as _"the price of an idol,_ cast down by god's power." another giver enclosed a like amount from the sale of unnecessary books and pictures; and a poor man his half-crown, "the fruit of a little tree in his garden." a poor woman, who had devoted the progeny of a pet rabbit to the orphan work, when the young became fit for sale changed her mind and "kept back a part of the price"; _that part,_ however, _two rabbits,_ she found _dead_ on the day when they were to be sold. in july, , ten pounds from an anonymous source were accompanied by a letter which conveys another instructive lesson. years before, the writer had resolved before god to discontinue a doubtful habit, and send the cost of his indulgence to the institution. the vow, made in time of trouble, was unpaid until god brought the sin to remembrance by a new trouble, and by a special message from the word: "grieve not the spirit of god." the victory was then given over the habit, and, the practice having annually cost about twenty-six shillings, the full amount was sent to cover the period during which the solemn covenant had not been kept, with the promise of further gifts in redemption of the same promise to the lord. this instance conveys more than one lesson. it reminds us of the costliness of much of our self-indulgence. sir michael hicks-beach, in submitting the budget for , remarked that what is annually wasted in the unsmoked remnants of cigars and cigarettes in britain is estimated at a million and a quarter pounds--the equivalent of all that is annually spent on foreign missions by british christians. and many forms of self-gratification, in no way contributing to either health or profit, would, if what they cost were dedicated to the lord, make his treasuries overflow. again, this incident reminds us of the many vows, made in time of trouble, which have no payment in time of relief. many sorrows come back, like clouds that return after the rain, to remind of broken pledges and unfulfilled obligations, whereby we have grieved the holy spirit of god. "pay that which thou hast vowed; for god hath no pleasure in fools." and again we are here taught how a sensitive and enlightened conscience will make restitution to god as well as to man; and that past unfaithfulness to a solemn covenant cannot be made good merely by keeping to its terms _for the future._ no honest man dishonours a past debt, or compromises with his integrity by simply beginning anew and paying as he goes. reformation takes a retrospective glance and begins in restitution and reparation for all previous wrongs and unfaithfulness. it is one of the worst evils of our day that even disciples are so ready to bury the financial and moral debts of their past life in the grave of a too-easy oblivion. one donor, formerly living in tunbridge wells, followed a principle of giving, the reverse of the worldly way. as his own family increased, instead of decreasing his gifts, he gave, for each child given to him of god, the average cost of maintaining one orphan, until, having seven children, he was supporting seven orphans. an anonymous giver wrote: "it was my idea that when a man had sufficient for his own wants, he ought then to supply the wants of others, and consequently i never had sufficient. i now clearly see that god expects us to give of what we have and not of what we have not, and to leave the rest to him. i therefore give in faith and love, knowing that if i first seek the kingdom of god and his righteousness, all other things will be added unto me." another sends five pounds in fulfillment of a secret promise that, if he succeeded in passing competitive examination for civil service, he would make a thank-offering. and he adds that satan had repeatedly tried to persuade him that he could not afford it yet, and could send it better in a little while. many others have heard the same subtle suggestion from the same master of wiles and father of lies. postponement in giving is usually its practical abandonment, for the habit of procrastination grows with insensibly rapid development. habitual givers generally witnessed to the conscious blessedness of systematic giving. many who began by giving a tenth, and perhaps in a legal spirit, felt constrained, by the growing joy of imparting, to increase, not the amount only, but the proportion, to a fifth, a fourth, a third, and even a half of their profits. some wholly reversed the law of appropriation with which they began; for at first they gave a tithe to the lord's uses, reserving nine tenths, whereas later on they appropriated nine tenths to the lord's uses, and reserved for themselves only a tithe. those who learn the deep meaning of our lord's words, "it is more blessed to give than to receive," find such joy in holding all things at his disposal that even personal expenditures are subjected to the scrutiny of conscience and love, lest anything be wasted in extravagance or careless self-indulgence. frances ridley havergal in her later years felt herself and all she possessed to be so fully and joyfully given up to god, that she never went into a shop to spend a shilling without asking herself whether it would be for god's glory. gifts were valued by mr. muller only so far as they were the lord's money, procured by lawful means and given in the lord's own way. to the last his course was therefore most conscientious in the caution with which he accepted offerings even in times of sorest extremity. in october, , he felt led to offer aid to a sister who seemed in great distress and destitution, offering to share with her, if need be, even his house and purse. this offer drew out the acknowledgment that she had some five hundred pounds of her own; and her conversation revealed that this money was held as a provision against possible future want, and that she was leaning upon that instead of upon god. mr. muller said but little to her, but after her withdrawal he besought the lord to make so real to her the exhaustless riches she possessed in christ, and her own heavenly calling, that she might be constrained to lay down at his feet the whole sum which was thus a snare to her faith and an idol to her love. _not a word spoken or written passed between him and her on the subject, nor did he even see her;_ his express desire being that if any such step were to be taken by her, it might result from no human influence or persuasion, lest her subsequent regret might prove both a damage to herself and a dishonour to her master. for nearly four weeks, however, he poured out his heart to god for her deliverance from greed. then she again sought an interview and told him how she had been day by day seeking to learn the will of god as to this hoarded sum, and had been led to a clear conviction that it should be laid entire upon his altar. thus the goodly sum of five hundred pounds was within so easy reach, at a time of very great need, that a word from mr. muller would secure it. instead of saying that word, he exhorted her to make no such disposition of the money at that time, but to count the cost; to do nothing rashly lest she should repent it, but wait at least a fortnight more before reaching a final decision. his correspondence with this sister may be found fully spread out in his journal,* and is a model of devout carefulness lest he should snatch at a gift that might be prompted by wrong motives or given with an unprepared heart. when finally given, unexpected hindrances arose affecting her actual possession and transfer, so that more than a third of a year elapsed before it was received; but meanwhile there was on his part neither impatience nor distrust, nor did he even communicate further with her. to the glory of god let it be added that she afterward bore cheerful witness that never for one moment did she regret giving the whole sum to his service, and thus transferring her trust from the money to the master. * narrative, i. _et seq._ in august, , a poor widow of sixty, who had sold the little house which constituted her whole property, put into an orphan-house box elsewhere, for mr. muller, the entire proceeds, ninety pounds. those who conveyed it to mr. muller, knowing the circumstances, urged her to retain at least a part of this sum, and prevailed on her to keep five pounds and sent on the other eighty-five. mr. muller, learning the facts, and fearing lest the gift might result from a sudden impulse to be afterward regretted, offered to pay her travelling expenses that he might have an interview with her. he found her mind had been quite made up for ten years before the house was sold that such disposition should be made of the proceeds. but he was the more reluctant to accept the gift lest, as she had already been prevailed on to take back five pounds of the original donation, she might wish she had reserved more; and only after much urgency had failed to persuade her to reconsider the step would he accept it. even then, however, lest he should be evil spoken of in the matter, he declined to receive any part of the gift for personal uses. in october, , a small sum was sent in by one who had years before taken it from another, and who desired thus to _make restitution,_ believing that the christian believer from whom it was taken would approve of this method of restoring it. mr. muller promptly returned it, irrespective of amount, that restitution might be made directly to the party who had been robbed or wronged, claiming that such party should first receive it and then dispose of it as might seem fit. as it did not belong to him who took it, it was not his to give even in another's behalf. during a season of great straits mr. muller received a sealed parcel containing money. he knew from whom it came, and that the donor was a woman not only involved in debt, but frequently asked by creditors for their lawful dues in vain. it was therefore clear that it was not _her_ money, and therefore not hers to _give;_ and without even opening the paper wrapper he returned it to the sender--and this at a time when there was _not in hand enough to meet the expenses of that very day._ in june, , a stranger, who confessed to an act of fraud, wished through mr. muller to make restitution, with interest; and, instead of sending the money by post, mr. muller took pains to transmit it by bank orders, which thus enabled him, in case of need, to prove his fidelity in acting as a medium of transmission--an instance of the often-quoted maxim that it is the honest man who is most careful to provide things honest in the sight of all men. money sent as proceeds of a musical entertainment held for the benefit of the orphans in the south of devon was politely returned, mr. muller had no doubt of the kind intention of those who set this scheme on foot, but he felt that money for the work of god _should not be obtained in this manner,_ and he desired only money provided in god's way. friends who asked that they might know whether their gifts had come at a particularly opportune time were referred to the next report for answer. to acknowledge that the help came very seasonably would be an indirect revelation of need, and might be construed into an indirect appeal for more aid--as help that was peculiarly timely would soon be exhausted. and so this man of god consistently avoided any such disclosure of an exigency, lest his chief object should be hindered, namely, "to show how blessed it is to deal with god alone, and to trust him in the darkest moments." and though the need was continual, and one demand was no sooner met than another arose, he did not find this a trying life nor did he ever tire of it. as early as may, , a letter from a brother contained the following paragraph: "with regard to property, i do not see my way clearly. i trust it is all indeed at the disposal of the lord; and, if you would let me know of any need of it in his service, any sum under two hundred pounds shall be at your disposal at about a week's notice." the need at that time was great. how easy and natural to write back that the orphan work was then in want of help, and that, as mr. muller was just going away from bristol for rest, it would be a special comfort if his correspondent would send on, say a hundred and ninety pounds or so! but to deal with the lord alone in the whole matter seemed so indispensable, both for the strengthening of his own faith and for the effectiveness of his testimony to the church and the world, that at once this temptation was seen to be a snare, and he replied that only to the lord could the need of any part of the work be confided. _money to be laid up_ as a fund for his old age or possible seasons of illness or family emergencies was always declined. such a donation of one hundred pounds was received october , , with a note so considerate and christian that the subtle temptation to lay up for himself treasures on earth would have triumphed but for a heart fixed immovably in the determination that there should be no dependence upon any such human provision. he had settled the matter beyond raising the question again, that he would live from day to day upon the lord's bounty, and would make but _one investment,_ namely, using whatever means god gave, to supply the necessities of the poor, depending on god richly to repay him in the hour of his own need, according to the promise: "he that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the lord; and that which he hath given will he pay him again." proverbs xix. . god so owned, at once, this disposition on mr. muller's part that his courteous letter, declining the gift for himself, led the donor not only to ask him to use the hundred pounds for the orphan work, but to add to this sum a further gift of two hundred pounds more. chapter xxiii god's witness to the work the eleventh chapter of hebrews--that "westminster abbey" where old testament saints have a memorial before god--gives a hint of a peculiar reward which faith enjoys, even in this life, as an earnest and foretaste of its final recompense. by faith "the elders obtained a good report," that is, _they had witness borne to them_ by god in return for witness borne to him. all the marked examples of faith here recorded show this twofold testimony. abel testified to his faith in god's atoning lamb, and god testified to his gifts. enoch witnessed to the unseen god by his holy walk with him, and he testified to enoch, by his translation, and even before it, that he pleased god. noah's faith bore witness to god's word, by building the ark and preaching righteousness, and god bore witness to him by bringing a flood upon a world of the ungodly and saving him and his family in the ark. george muller's life was one long witness to the prayer-hearing god; and, throughout, god bore him witness that his prayers were heard and his work accepted. the pages of his journal are full of striking examples of this witness--the earnest or foretaste of the fuller recompense of reward reserved for the lord's coming. compensations for renunciations, and rewards for service, do not all wait for the judgment-seat of christ, but, as some men's sins are open beforehand, going before to judgment, so the seed sown for god yields a harvest that is 'open beforehand' to joyful recognition. divine love graciously and richly acknowledged these many years of self-forgetful devotion to him and his needy ones, by large and unexpected tokens of blessing. toils and trials, tears and prayers, were not in vain even this side of the hereafter. for illustrations of this we naturally turn first of all to the orphan work. ten thousand motherless and fatherless children had found a home and tender parental care in the institution founded by george muller, and were there fed, clad, and taught, before he was called up higher. his efforts to improve their state physically, morally, and spiritually were so manifestly owned of god that he felt his compensation to be both constant and abundant, and his journal, from time to time, glows with his fervent thanksgivings. this orphan work would amply repay all its cost during two thirds of a century, should only its _temporal benefits_ be reckoned. experience proved that, with god's blessing, one half of the lives sacrificed among the children of poverty would be saved by better conditions of body--such as regularity and cleanliness of habits, good food, pure air, proper clothing, and wholesome exercise. at least two thirds, if not three fourths, of the parents whose offspring have found a shelter on ashley down had died of consumption and kindred diseases; and hence the children had been largely tainted with a like tendency. and yet, all through the history of this orphan work, there has been such care of proper sanitary conditions that there has been singular freedom from all sorts of ailments, and especially epidemic diseases; and when scarlet fever, measles, and such diseases have found entrance, the cases of sickness have been comparatively few and mild, and the usual percentage of deaths exceedingly small. this is not the only department of training in which the recompense has been abundant. ignorance is everywhere the usual handmaid of poverty, and there has been very careful effort to secure proper _mental_ culture. with what success the education of these orphans has been looked after will sufficiently appear from the reports of the school inspector. from year to year these pupils have been examined in reading, writing, arithmetic, scripture, dictation, geography, history, grammar, composition, and singing; and mr. horne reported in an average per cent of all marks as high as . , and even this was surpassed the next year when it was , and, two years later, when it was . . but in the moral and spiritual welfare of these orphans, which has been primarily sought, the richest recompense has been enjoyed. the one main aim of mr. muller and his whole staff of helpers, from first to last, has been to save these children--to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the lord. the hindrances were many and formidable. if the hereditary taint of disease is to be dreaded, what of the awful legacy of sin and crime! many of these little ones had no proper bringing up till they entered the orphan houses; and not a few had been trained indeed, but only in satan's schools of drink and lust. and yet, notwithstanding all these drawbacks, mr. muller records, with devout thankfulness, that _"the lord had constrained them,_ on the whole, to behave exceedingly well, so much so as to attract the attention of observers." better still, large numbers have, throughout the whole history of this work, given signs of a really regenerate state, and have afterwards maintained a consistent character and conduct, and in some cases have borne singular witness to the grace of god, both by their complete transformation and by their influence for good. in august, , an orphan girl, martha pinnell, who had been for over twelve years under mr. muller's care, and for more than five years ill with consumption, fell asleep in jesus. before her death, she had, for two and a half years, known the lord, and the change in her character and conduct had been remarkable. from an exceedingly disobedient and troublesome child with a pernicious influence, she had become both very docile and humble and most influential for good. in her unregenerate days she had declared that, if she should ever be converted, she would be "a thorough christian," and so it proved. her happiness in god, her study of his word, her deep knowledge of the lord jesus, her earnest passion for souls, seemed almost incredible in one so young and so recently turned to god. and mr. muller has preserved in the pages of his journal four of the precious letters written by her to other inmates of the orphan houses.* * narrative, iii. - . at times, and frequently, extensive revivals have been known among them when scores and hundreds have found the lord. the year ending may , was especially notable for the unprecedented greatness and rapidity of the work which the spirit of god had wrought, in such conversions. within a few days and without any special apparent cause except the very peaceful death of a christian orphan, caroline bailey, more than fifty of the one hundred and forty girls in orphan house no. were under conviction of sin, and the work spread into the other departments, till about sixty were shortly exercising faith. in july, , again, in a school of one hundred and twenty girls more than half were brought under deep spiritual concern; and, after a year had passed, shewed the grace of continuance in a new life. in january and february, , another mighty wave of holy spirit power swept over the institution. it began among little girls, from six to nine years old, then extended to the older girls, and then to the boys, until, inside of ten days, above two hundred were inquiring and in many instances found immediate peace. the young converts at once asked to hold prayer meetings among themselves, and were permitted; and not only so, but many began to labour and pray for others, and, out of the seven hundred orphans then in charge, some two hundred and sixty were shortly regarded as either converted or in a most hopeful state. again, in , on the first day of the week of prayer, the holy spirit so moved that, without any unusual occasion for deep seriousness, hundreds were, during that season, hopefully converted. constant prayer for their souls made the orphan homes a hallowed place, and by august st, it was believed, after careful investigation, that seven hundred and twenty-nine might be safely counted as being disciples of christ, the number of believing orphans being thus far in excess of any previous period. a series of such blessings have, down to this date, crowned the sincere endeavours of all who have charge of these children, to lead them to seek first the kingdom of god and his righteousness. by far the majority of orphans sent out for service or apprenticeship, had for some time before known the lord; and even of those who left the institution unconverted, the after-history of many showed that the training there received had made impossible continuance in a life of sin. thus, precious harvests of this seed-sowing, gathered in subsequent years, have shown that god was not unrighteous to forget this work of faith, and labour of love, and patience of hope. in april, , a letter from a former inmate of the orphanage enclosed a thank offering for the excellent bible-teaching there received which had borne fruit years after. so carefully had she been instructed in the way of salvation that, while yet herself unrenewed, she had been god's instrument of leading to christ a fellow servant who had long been seeking peace, and so, became, like a sign-board on the road, the means of directing another to the true path, by simply telling her what she had been taught, though not then following the path herself. another orphan wrote, in , that often, when tempted to indulge the sin of unbelief, the thought of that six years' sojourn in ashley down came across the mind like a gleam of sunshine. it was remembered how the clothes there worn, the food eaten, the bed slept on, and the very walls around, were the visible answers to believing prayer, and the recollection of all these things proved a potent prescription and remedy for the doubts and waverings of the child of god, a shield against the fiery darts of satanic suggestion. during the thirty years between and , two thousand five hundred and sixty-six orphans were known to have left the institution as believers, an average of eighty-five every year; and, at the close of this thirty years, nearly six hundred were yet in the homes on ashley down who had given credible evidence of a regenerate state. mr. muller was permitted to know that not only had these orphans been blessed in health, educated in mind, converted to god, and made useful christian citizens, but many of them had become fathers or mothers of christian households. one representative instance may be cited. a man and a woman who had formerly been among these orphans became husband and wife, and they have had eight children, all earnest disciples, one of whom went as a foreign missionary to africa. from the first, god set his seal upon this religious training in the orphan houses. the _first two children_ received into no. both became true believers and zealous workers: one, a congregational deacon, who, in a benighted neighbourhood, acted the part of a lay preacher; and the other, a laborious and successful clergyman in the church of england, and both largely used of god in soul-winning. could the full history be written of all who have gone forth from these orphan homes, what a volume of testimony would be furnished, since these are but a few scattered examples of the conspicuously useful service to which god has called those whose after-career can be traced! in his long and extensive missionary tours, mr. muller was permitted to see, gather, and partake of many widely scattered fruits of his work on ashley down. when preaching in brooklyn, n. y., in september, , he learned that in philadelphia a legacy of a thousand pounds was waiting for him, the proceeds of a life-insurance, which the testator had willed to the work, and in city after city he had the joy of meeting scores of orphans brought up under his care. he minutely records the remarkable usefulness of a mr. wilkinson, who, up to the age of fourteen and a half years, had been taught at the orphanage. twenty years had elapsed since mr. muller had seen him, when, in , he met him in calvary church, san francisco, six thousand five hundred miles from bristol. he found him holding fast his faith in the lord jesus, a happy and consistent christian. he further heard most inspiring accounts of this man's singular service during the civil war in america. being on the gunboat louisiana, he had there been the leading spirit and recognized head of a little bethel church among his fellow seamen, who were by him led so to engage in the service of christ as to exhibit a devotion that, without a trace of fanatical enthusiasm, was full of holy zeal and joy. their whole conversation was of god. it further transpired that, months previous, when the cloud of impending battle overhung the ship's company, he and one of his comrades had met for prayer in the 'chain-locker'; and thus began a series of most remarkable meetings which, without one night's interruption, lasted for some twenty months. wilkinson alone among the whole company had any previous knowledge of the word of god, and he became not only the leader of the movement, but the chief interpreter of the scriptures as they met to read the book of god and exchange views upon it. nor was he satisfied to do thus much with his comrades daily, but at another stated hour he, with some chosen helpers, gathered the coloured sailors of the ship to teach them reading, writing, etc. a member of the christian commission, mr. j. e. hammond, who gave these facts publicity, and who was intimately acquainted with mr. wilkinson and his work on shipboard, said that he seemed to be a direct "product of mr. muller's faith, his calm confidence in god, the method in his whole manner of life, the persistence of purpose, and the quiet spiritual power," which so characterized the founder of the bristol orphanage, being eminently reproduced in this young man who had been trained under his influence. when in a sail-loft ashore, he was compelled for two weeks to listen to the lewd and profane talk of two associates detailed with him for a certain work. for the most part he took refuge in silence; but his manner of conduct, and one sentence which dropped from his lips, brought both those rough and wicked sailors to the saviour he loved, one of whom in three months read the word of god from genesis to revelation. mr. muller went nowhere without meeting converted orphans or hearing of their work, even in the far-off corners of the earth. sometimes in great cities ten or fifteen would be waiting at the close of an address to shake the hand of their "father," and tell him of their debt of gratitude and love. he found them in every conceivable sphere of service, many of them having households in which the principles taught in the orphan homes were dominant, and engaged in the learned professions as well as humbler walks of life. god gave his servant also the sweet compensation of seeing great blessing attending the day-schools supported by the scriptural knowledge institution. the master of the school at clayhidon, for instance, wrote of a poor lad, a pupil in the day-school, prostrate with rheumatic fever, in a wretched home and surrounded by bitter opposers of the truth. wasted to a skeleton, and in deep anxiety about his own soul, he was pointed to him who says, "come unto me,... and i will give you rest." while yet this conversation was going on, as though suddenly he had entered into a new world, this emaciated boy began to repeat texts such as "suffer the little children to come unto me," and burst out singing: "jesus loves me, this i know, for the bible tells me so." he seemed transported with ecstasy, and recited text after text and hymn after hymn, learned at that school. no marvel is it if that schoolmaster felt a joy, akin to the angels, in this one proof that his labour in the lord was not in vain. such examples might be indefinitely multiplied, but this handful of first-fruits of a harvest may indicate the character of the whole crop. letters were constantly received from missionary labourers in various parts of the world who were helped by the gifts of the scriptural knowledge institution. the testimony from this source alone would fill a good-sized volume, and therefore its incorporation into this memoir would be impracticable. those who would see what grand encouragement came to mr. muller from fields of labour where he was only represented by others, whom his gift's aided, should read the annual reports. a few examples may be given of the blessed results of such wide scattering of the seed of the kingdom, as specimens of thousands. mr. albert fenn, who was labouring in madrid, wrote of a civil guard who, because of his bold witness for christ and renunciation of the romish confessional, was sent from place to place and most cruelly treated, and threatened with banishment to a penal settlement. again he writes of a convert from borne who, for trying to establish a small meeting, was summoned before the governor. "who pays you for this?" "no one." "what do you gain by it?" "nothing." "how do you live?" "i work with my hands in a mine." "why do you hold meetings?" "because god has blessed my soul, and i wish others to be blessed." "you? you were made a miserable day-labourer; i prohibit the meetings." "i yield to force," was the calm reply, "but as long as i have a mouth to speak i shall speak for christ." how like those primitive disciples who boldly faced the rulers at jerusalem, and, being forbidden to speak in jesus' name, firmly answered: "we ought to obey god rather than men. whether it be right in the sight of god to hearken unto you more than unto god judge ye: for we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard." a missionary labourer writes from india, of three brahman priests and scores of santhals and hindus, sitting down with four europeans to keep the supper of the lord--all fruits of his ministry. within a twelvemonth, sixty-two men and women, including head men of villages, and four brahman women, wives of priests and of head men, were baptized, representing twenty-three villages in which the gospel had been preached. at one time more than one hundred persons were awakened in one mission in spain; and such harvests as these were not infrequent in various fields to which the founder of the orphan work had the joy of sending aid. in , a scholar of one of the schools at carrara, italy, was confronted by a priest. "in the bible," said he, "you do not find the commandments of the church." "no, sir," said the child, "for it is not for the church of god to _command,_ but to _obey."_ "tell me, then," said the priest, "these commandments of god." "yes, sir," replied the child; "i am the lord thy god. thou shalt have no other god before me. neither shalt thou make any graven image." "stop! stop!" cried the priest, "i do not understand it so." "but so," quietly replied the child, "it is written in god's word." this simple incident may illustrate both the character of the teaching given in the schools, and the character often developed in those who were taught. out of the many pages of mr. muller's journal, probably about one-fifth are occupied wholly with extracts from letters like these from missionaries, teachers, and helpers, which kept him informed of the progress of the lord's work at home and in many lands where the labourers were by him enabled to continue their service. bible-carriages, open-air services, christian schools, tract distribution, and various other forms of holy labour for the benighted souls near and far, formed part of the many-branching tree of life that was planted on ashley down. another of the main encouragements and rewards which mr. muller enjoyed in this life was the knowledge that his example had emboldened other believers to attempt like work for god, on like principles. this he himself regarded as the greatest blessing resulting from his life-work, that hundreds of thousands of children of god had been led in various parts of the world to trust in god in all simplicity; and when such trust found expression in similar service to orphans, it seemed the consummation of his hopes, for the work was thus proven to have its seed in itself after its kind, a self-propagating life, which doubly demonstrated it to be a tree of the lord's own planting, that he might be glorified. in december, , mr. muller learned, for instance, that a christian evangelist, simply through reading about the orphan work in bristol, had it laid on his heart to care about orphans, and encouraged by mr. muller's example, solely in dependence on the lord, had begun in with three orphans at nimwegen in holland, and had at that date, only fourteen years after, over four hundred and fifty in the institution. it pleased the lord that he and mrs. muller should, with their own eyes, see this institution, and he says that in "almost numberless instances" the lord permitted him to know of similar fruits of his work. at his first visit to tokyo, japan, he gave an account of it, and as the result, mr. ishii, a native christian japanese, started an orphanage upon a similar basis of prayer, faith, and dependence upon the living god, and at mr. muller's second visit to the island empire he found this orphan work prosperously in progress. how generally fruitful the example thus furnished on ashley down has been in good to the church and the world will never be known on earth. a man living at horfield, in sight of the orphan buildings, has said that, whenever he felt doubts of the living god creeping into his mind, he used to get up and look through the night at the many windows lit up on ashley down, and they gleamed out through the darkness as stars in the sky. it was the witness of mr. muller to a prayer-hearing god which encouraged rev. j. hudson taylor, in , thirty years after mr. muller's great step was taken, to venture wholly on the lord, in founding the china inland mission. it has been said that to the example of a. h. francke in halle, or george muller in bristol, may be more or less directly traced every form of 'faith work,' prevalent since. the scriptural knowledge institution was made in all its departments a means of blessing. already in the year ending may , , a hundred servants of christ had been more or less aided, and far more souls had been hopefully brought to god through their labours than during any year previous. about six hundred letters, received from them, had cheered mr. muller's heart during the twelvemonth, and this source of joy overflowed during all his life. in countless cases children of god were lifted to a higher level of faith and life, and unconverted souls were turned to god through the witness borne to god by the institutions on ashley down. mr. muller has summed up this long history of blessing by two statements which are worth pondering. first, that the lord was pleased to give him far beyond all he at first expected to accomplish or receive. and secondly, that he was fully persuaded that all he had seen and known would not equal the thousandth part of what he should see and know when the lord should come, his reward with him, to give every man according as his work shall be. the _circulation of mr. muller's narrative_ was a most conspicuous means of untold good. in november, , mr. james mcquilkin, a young irishman, was converted, and early in the next year, read the first two volumes of that narrative he said to himself: "mr. muller obtains all this simply by prayer; so may i be blessed by the same means," and he began to pray. first of all he received from the lord, in answer, a spiritual companion, and then two more of like mind; and they four began stated seasons of prayer in a small schoolhouse near kells, antrim, ireland, every friday evening. on the first day of the new year, , a farm-servant was remarkably brought to the lord in answer to their prayers, and these _five_ gave themselves anew to united supplication. shortly a sixth young man was added to their number by conversion, and so the little company of praying souls slowly grew, only believers being admitted to these simple meetings for fellowship in reading of the scriptures, prayer, and mutual exhortation. about christmas, that year, mr. mcquilkin, with the two brethren who had first joined him--one of whom was mr. jeremiah meneely, who is still at work for god--held a meeting by request at ahoghill. some believed and some mocked, while others thought these three converts presumptuous; but two weeks later another meeting was held, at which god's spirit began to work most mightily and conversions now rapidly multiplied. some converts bore the sacred coals and kindled the fire elsewhere, and so in many places revival flames began to burn; and in ballymena, belfast, and at other points the spirit's gracious work was manifest. such was the starting-point, in fact, of one of the most widespread and memorable revivals ever known in our century, and which spread the next year in england, wales, and scotland. thousands found christ, and walked in newness of life; and the results are still manifest after more than forty years. as early as it was found that one who had thankfully read this narrative had issued a compendium of it in swedish. we have seen how widely useful it has been in germany; and in many other languages its substance at least has been made available to native readers. knowledge came to mr. muller of a boy of ten years who got hold of one of these reports, and, although belonging to a family of unbelievers, began to pray: "god, teach me to pray like george muller, and hear me as thou dost hear george muller." he further declared his wish to be a preacher, which his widowed mother very strongly opposed, objecting that the boy did not know enough to get into the grammar-school, which is the first step toward such a high calling. the lad, however, rejoined: "i will learn and pray, and god will help me through as he has done george muller." and soon, to the surprise of everybody, the boy had successfully passed his examination and was received at the school. a donor writes, september , , that the reading of the narrative totally changed his inner life to one of perfect trust and confidence in god. it led to the devoting of at least a tenth of his earnings to the lord's purposes, and showed him how much more blessed it is to give than to receive; and it led him also to place a copy of that narrative on the shelves of a town institute library where three thousand members and subscribers might have access to it. another donor suggests that it might be well if prof. huxley and his sympathisers, who had been proposing some new arbitrary "prayer-gauge" would, instead of treating prayer as so much waste of breath, try how long they could keep five orphan houses running, with over two thousand orphans, and without asking any one for help,--either "god or man." in september, , another donor describes himself as "simply astounded at the blessed results of prayer and faith," and many others have found this brief narrative "the most wonderful and complete refutation of skepticism it had ever been their lot to meet with"--an array of facts constituting the most undeniable "evidences of christianity." there are abundant instances of the power exerted by mr. muller's testimony, as when a woman who had been an infidel, writes him that he was "the first person by whose example she learned that there are some men who live by faith," and that for this reason she had willed to him all that she possessed. another reader found these reports "more faith-strengthening and soul-refreshing than many a sermon," particularly so after just wading through the mire of a speech of a french infidel who boldly affirmed that of all of the millions of prayers uttered every day, not one is answered. we should like to have any candid skeptic confronted with mr. muller's unvarnished story of a life of faith, and see how he would on any principle of' compound probability' and 'accidental coincidences,' account for the tens of thousand's of answers to believing prayer! the fact is that one half of the infidelity in the world is dishonest, and the other half is ignorant of the daily proofs that god is, and is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. from almost the first publication of his narrative, mr. muller had felt a conviction that it was thus to be greatly owned of god as a witness to his faithfulness; and, as early as , it was laid on his heart to send a copy of his annual report gratuitously to every christian minister of the land, which the lord helped him to do, his aim being not to get money or even awaken interest in the work, but rather to stimulate faith and quicken prayer.* * the author of this memoir purposes to give a copy of it to every foreign missionary, and to workers in the home fields, so far as means are supplied in answer to prayer. his hope is that the witness of this life may thus have still wider influence in stimulating prayer and faith. the devout reader is asked to unite his supplications with those of many others who are asking that the lord may be pleased to furnish the means whereby this purpose may be carried out. already about one hundred pounds sterling have been given for this end, and part of it, small in amount but rich in self-denial, from the staff of helpers and the orphans on ashley down. a. t. p. twenty-two years later, in , it was already so apparent that the published accounts of the lord's dealings was used so largely to sanctify and edify saints and even to convert sinners and convince infidels, that he records this as _the greatest of all the spiritual blessings_ hitherto resulting from his work for god. since then thirty years more have fled, and, during this whole period, letters from a thousand sources have borne increasing witness that the example he set has led others to fuller faith and firmer confidence in god's word, power, and love; to a deeper persuasion that, though elijah has been taken up, god, the god of elijah, is still working his wonders. and so, in all departments of his work for god, the lord to whom he witnessed bore witness to him in return, and anticipated his final reward in a recompense of present and overflowing joy. this was especially true in the long tours undertaken, when past threescore and ten, to sow in lands afar the seeds of the kingdom! as the sower went forth to sow he found not fallow fields only, but harvest fields also, from which his arms were filled with sheaves. thus, in a new sense the reaper overtook the ploughman, and the harvester, him that scattered the seed. in every city of the united kingdom and in the "sixty-eight cities" where, up to , he had preached on the continents of europe and america, he had found converted orphans, and believers to whom abundant blessing had come through reading his reports. after this date, twenty-one years more yet remained crowded with experiences of good. thus, before the lord called george muller higher, he had given him a foretaste of his reward, in the physical, intellectual and spiritual profit of the orphans; in the fruits of his wide seed-sowing in other lands as well as britain; in the scattering of god's word and christian literature; in the christian education of thousands of children in the schools he aided; in the assistance afforded to hundreds of devoted missionaries; in the large blessing imparted by his published narrative, and in his personal privilege of bearing witness throughout the world to the gospel of grace. chapter xxiv last looks, backward and forward. the mountain-climber, at the sunset hour, naturally takes a last lingering look backward at the prospect visible from the lofty height, before he begins his descent to the valley. and, before we close this volume, we as naturally cast one more glance backward over this singularly holy and useful life, that we may catch further inspiration from its beauty and learn some new lessons in holy living and unselfish serving. george muller was divinely fitted for, fitted into his work, as a mortise fits the tenon, or a ball of bone its socket in the joint. he had adaptations, both natural and gracious, to the life of service to which he was called, and these adaptations made possible a career of exceptional sanctity and service, because of his complete self-surrender to the will of god and his childlike faith in his word. three qualities or characteristics stand out very conspicuous in him: _truth, faith,_ and _love._ our lord frequently taught his disciples that the childlike spirit is the soul of discipleship, and in the ideal child these three traits are central. truth is one centre, about which revolve childlike frankness and sincerity, genuineness and simplicity. faith is another, about which revolve confidence and trust, docility and humility. love is another centre, around which gather unselfishness and generosity, gentleness and restfulness of spirit. in the typical or perfect child, therefore, all these beautiful qualities would coexist, and, in proportion as they are found in a disciple, is he worthy to be called _a child of god._ in mr. muller these traits were all found and conjoined in a degree very seldom found in any one man, and this fact sufficiently accounts for his remarkable likeness to christ and fruitfulness in serving god and man. no pen-portrait of him which fails to make these features very prominent can either be accurate in delineation or warm in colouring. it is difficult to overestimate their importance in their relation to what george muller _was_ and _did._ truth is the corner-stone of all excellence, for without it nothing else is true, genuine, or real. from the hour of his conversion his truthfulness was increasingly dominant and apparent. in fact, there was about him a scrupulous exactness which sometimes seemed unnecessary. one smiles at the mathematical precision with which he states facts, giving the years, days, and hours since he was brought to the knowledge of god, or since he began to pray for some given object; and the pounds, shillings, pence, halfpence, and even farthings that form the total sum expended for any given purpose. we see the same conscientious exactness in the repetitions of statements, whether of principles or of occurrences, which we meet in his journal, and in which oftentimes there is not even a change of a word. but all this has a significance. it _inspires absolute confidence_ in the record of the lord's dealings. first, because it shows that the writer has disciplined himself to accuracy of statement. many a falsehood is not an intentional lie, but an undesigned inaccuracy. three of our human faculties powerfully affect our veracity: one is memory, another is imagination, and another is conscience. memory takes note of facts, imagination colours facts with fancies, and conscience brings the moral sense to bear in sifting the real from the unreal. where conscience is not sensitive and dominant, memory and imagination will become so confused that facts and fancies will fail to be separated. the imagination will be so allowed to invest events and experiences with either a halo of glory or a cloud of prejudice that the narrator will constantly tell, not what he clearly sees written in the book of his remembrance, but what he beholds painted upon the canvas of his own imagination. accuracy will be, half unconsciously perhaps, sacrificed to his own imaginings; he will exaggerate or depreciate--as his own impulses lead him; and a man who would not deliberately lie may thus be habitually untrustworthy: you cannot tell, and often he cannot tell, what the exact truth would be, when all the unreality with which it has thus been invested is dissipated like the purple and golden clouds about a mountain, leaving the bare crag of naked rock to be seen, just as it is in itself. george muller felt the immense importance of exact statement. hence he disciplined himself to accuracy. conscience presided over his narrative, and demanded that everything else should be scrupulously sacrificed to veracity. but, more than this, god made him, in a sense, a _man without imagination_--comparatively free from the temptations of an enthusiastic temperament. he was a mathematician rather than a poet, an artisan rather than an artist, and he did not see things invested with a false halo. he was deliberate, not impulsive; calm and not excitable. he naturally weighed every word before he spoke, and scrutinized every statement before he gave it form with pen or tongue. and therefore the very qualities that, to some people, may make his narrative bare of charm, and even repulsively prosaic, add to its value as a plain, conscientious, unimaginative, unvarnished, and trustworthy statement of facts. had any man of a more poetic mind written that journal, the reader would have found himself constantly and unconsciously making allowance for the writer's own enthusiasm, discounting the facts, because of the imaginative colouring. the narrative might have been more readable, but it would not have been so reliable; and, in this story of the lord's dealings, nothing was so indispensable as exact truth. it would be comparatively worthless, were it not undeniable. the lord fitted the man who lived that life of faith and prayer, and wrote that life-story, to inspire confidence, so that even skeptics and doubters felt that they were reading, not a novel or a poem, but a history. faith was the second of these central traits in george muller, and it was purely the product of grace. we are told, in that first great lesson on faith in the scripture, that (genesis xv. ) abram believed in jehovah--literally, _amened_ jehovah. the word "amen" means not 'let it be so,' but rather _'it shall be so.'_ the lord's word came to abram, saying this 'shall not be,' but something else 'shall be'; and abram simply said with all his heart, 'amen'--'it shall be as god hath said.' and paul seems to be imitating abram's faith when, in the shipwreck off malta, he said, "i believe god, that _it shall be_ even as it was told me." that is faith in its simplest exercise and it was george muller's faith. he found the word of the lord in his blessed book, a new word of promise for each new crisis of trial or need; he put his finger upon the very text and then looked up to god and said: "thou hast spoken. i believe." persuaded of god's unfailing truth, he rested on his word with unwavering faith, and consequently he was at peace. nothing is more noticeable, in the entire career of this man of god, reaching through sixty-five years, than the steadiness of his faith and the steadfastness it gave to his whole character. to have a word of god was enough. he built upon it, and, when floods came and beat against that house, how could it fall! he was never confounded nor obliged to flee. even the earthquake may shake earth and heaven, but it leaves the true believer the inheritor of a kingdom which cannot be moved; for the object of all such shaking is to remove what can be shaken, that what cannot be shaken may remain. if mr. muller had any great mission, it was not to found a world-wide institution of any sort, however useful in scattering bibles and books and tracts, or housing and feeding thousands of orphans, or setting up christian schools and aiding missionary workers. his main mission was to teach men that it is _safe to trust god's word,_ to rest implicitly upon whatever he hath said, and obey explicitly whatever he has bidden; that prayer offered in faith, trusting his promise and the intercession of his dear son, is never offered in vain; and that the life lived by faith is a walk with god, just outside the very gates of heaven. _love,_ the third of that trinity of graces, was the other great secret and lesson of this life. and what is love? _not_ merely a complacent affection for what is lovable, which is often only a half-selfish taking of pleasure in the society and fellowship of those who love us. love is the _principle of unselfishness:_ love 'seeketh not her own'; it is the preference of another's pleasure and profit over our own, and hence is exercised toward the unthankful and unlovely, that it may lift them to a higher level. such love is benevolence rather than complacence, and so it is "of god," for he loveth the unthankful and the evil: and he that loveth is born of god and knoweth god. such love is obedience to a principle of unselfishness, and makes self-sacrifice habitual and even natural. while satan's motto is 'spare thyself!' christ's motto is to deny thyself!' the sharpest rebuke ever administered by our lord was that to peter when he became a satan by counselling his master to adopt satan's maxim.* we are bidden by paul, _"remember jesus christ,"_** and by peter, _"follow his steps."_*** if we seek the inmost meaning of these two brief mottoes, we shall find that, about jesus christ's character, nothing was more conspicuous than the obedience of faith and self-surrender to god: and in his career, which we are bidden to follow, the renunciation of love, or self-sacrifice for man. the taunt was sublimely true: "he saved others, himself he cannot save"; it was _because_ he saved others that he could not save himself. the seed must give up its own life for the sake of the crop; and he who will be life to others must, like his lord, consent to die. * matt. xvi. ** tim. ii. (greek). *** pet. ii. . here is the real meaning of that command, "let him deny himself and take up his cross." self-denial is not cutting off an indulgence here and there, but laying the axe at the root of the tree of self, of which all indulgences are only greater or smaller branches. self-righteousness and self-trust, self-seeking and self-pleasing, self-will, self-defence, self-glory--these are a few of the myriad branches of that deeply rooted tree. and what if one or more of these be cut off, if such lopping off of some few branches only throws back into others the self-life to develop more vigorously in them? and what is _cross_-bearing? we speak of our 'crosses'--but the word of god never uses that word in the plural, for there is but _one_ cross--the cross on which the self-life is crucified, the cross of voluntary self-renunciation. how did christ come to the cross? we read in philippians the seven steps of his descent from heaven to calvary. he had everything that even the son of god could hold precious, even to the actual equal sharing of the glory of god. yet for man's sake what did he do? he did not hold fast even his equality with god, he emptied himself, took on him the form of a servant, was made in the likeness of fallen humanity; even more than this, he humbled himself even as a man, identifying himself with our poverty and misery and sin; he accepted death for our sakes, and that, the death of shame on the tree of curse. every step was downward until he who had been worshipped by angels was reviled by thieves, and the crown of glory was displaced by the crown of thorns! that is what the cross meant to _him._ and he says: "if any man will _come after me,_ let him deny himself, and _take up the cross_ and follow me." this cross is not _forced upon_ us as are many of the little vexations and trials which we call 'our crosses'; it is _taken up_ by us, in voluntary self-sacrifice for his sake. we choose self-abnegation, to lose our life in sacrifice that we may find it again in service. that is the self-oblivion of love. and mr. muller illustrated it. from the hour when he began to serve the crucified one he entered more and more fully into the fellowship of his sufferings, seeking to be made conformable unto his death. he gave up fortune-seeking and fame-seeking; he cut loose from the world with its snares and joys; he separated himself from even its doubtful practices, he tested even churchly traditions and customs by the word of god, and step by step conformed to the pattern showed in that word. every such step was a new self-denial, but it was following _him._ he chose voluntary poverty that others might be rich, and voluntary loss that others might have gain. his life was one long endeavour to bless others, to be the channel for conveying god's truth and love and grace to them. like paul he rejoiced in such sufferings for others, because thus he filled up that which is behind of the afflictions of christ in his flesh for his body's sake which is the church.* and unless love's voluntary sacrifice be taken into account, george muller's life will still remain an enigma. loyalty to truth, the obedience of faith, the sacrifice of love--these form the threefold key that unlocks to us all the closed chambers of that life, and these will, in another sense, unlock any other life to the entrance of god, and present to him an open door into all departments of one's being. george muller had no monopoly of holy living and holy serving. he followed his lord, both in self-surrender to the will of god and in self-sacrifice for the welfare of man, and herein lay his whole secret. * coloss. : . to one who asked him the secret of his service he said: "there was a day when i died, _utterly died;"_ and, as he spoke, he bent lower and lower until he almost touched the floor--"died to george muller, his opinions, preferences, tastes and will--died to the world, its approval or censure--died to the approval or blame even of my brethren and friends--and since then i have studied only to show myself approved unto god." when george muller trusted the blood for salvation, he took abel's position; when he undertook a consecrated walk he took enoch's; when he came into fellowship with god for his life-work he stood beside noah; when he rested only on god's word, he was one with abraham; and when he died to self and the world, he reached the self-surrender of moses. the godlike qualities of this great and good man made him none the less a man. his separation unto god implied no unnatural isolation from his fellow mortals. like terence, he could say: "i am a man, and nothing common to man is foreign to me." to be well known, mr. muller needed to be known in his daily, simple, home life. it was my privilege to meet him often, and in his own apartment at orphan house no. . his room was of medium size, neatly but plainly furnished, with table and chairs, lounge and writing-desk, etc. his bible almost always lay open, as a book to which he continually resorted. his form was tall and slim, always neatly attired, and very erect, and his step firm and strong. his countenance, in repose, might have been thought stern, but for the smile which so habitually lit up his eyes and played over his features that it left its impress on the lines of his face. his manner was one of simple courtesy and unstudied dignity: no one would in his presence, have felt like vain trifling, and there was about him a certain indescribable air of authority and majesty that reminded one of a born prince; and yet there was mingled with all this a simplicity so childlike that even children felt themselves at home with him. in his speech, he never quite lost that peculiar foreign quality, known as accent, and he always spoke with slow and measured articulation, as though a double watch were set at the door of his lips. with him that unruly member, the tongue, was tamed by the holy spirit, and he had that mark of what james calls a 'perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.' those who knew but little of him and saw him only in his serious moods might have thought him lacking in that peculiarly human quality, _humour._ but neither was he an ascetic nor devoid of that element of innocent appreciation of the ludicrous and that keen enjoyment of a good story which seem essential to a complete man. his habit was sobriety, but he relished a joke that was free of all taint of uncleanness and that had about it no sting for others. to those whom he best knew and loved he showed his true self, in his playful moods,--as when at ilfracombe, climbing with his wife and others the heights that overlook the sea, he walked on a little in advance, seated himself till the rest came up with him, and then, when they were barely seated, rose and quietly said, "well now, we have had a good rest, let us go on." this one instance may suffice to show that his sympathy with his divine master did not lessen or hinder his complete fellow feeling with man. that must be a defective piety which puts a barrier between a saintly soul and whatsoever pertains to humanity. he who chose us out of the world sent us back into it, there to find our sphere of service; and in order to such service we must keep in close and vital touch with human beings as did our divine lord himself. service to god was with george muller a passion. in the month of may, , he was persuaded to take at huntly a little rest from his constant daily work at the orphan houses. the evening that he arrived he said, what opportunity is there here for services for the lord? when it was suggested to him that he had just come from continuous work, and that it was a time for rest, he replied that, being now free from his usual labours, he felt he must be occupied in some other way in serving the lord, to glorify whom was his object in life. meetings were accordingly arranged and he preached both at huntly and at teignmouth. as we cast this last glance backward over this life of peculiar sanctity and service, one lesson seems written across it in unmistakable letters: prevailing prayer. if a consecrated human life is an _example_ used by god to teach us the _philosophy_ of holy living, then this man was meant to show us how _prayer, offered in simple faith, has power with god._ one paragraph of scripture conspicuously presents the truth which george muller's living epistle enforces and illustrates; it is found in james v. - : "the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much," is the sentence which opens the paragraph. no translation has ever done it justice. rotherham renders it: "much avails a righteous man's supplication, working inwardly." the revised version translates, "avails much in its working." the difficulty of translating lies not in the _obscurity_ but in the _fulness_ of the meaning of the original. there is a greek middle participle here (transcriber's note: the greek word appears here in parentheses), which may indicate "either the _cause_ or the _time_ of the effectiveness of the prayer," and may mean, through its working, or while it is actively working. the idea is that such prayer has about it supernatural energy. perhaps the best key to the meaning of these ten words is to interpret them in the light of the whole paragraph: "elijah was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain; and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months. and he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth brought forth her fruit." two things are here plainly put before us: first, that elijah was but a man, of like nature with other men and subject to all human frailties and infirmities; and, secondly, that this man was such a power because he was a man of prayer: he prayed earnestly; literally "he prayed with prayer"; prayed habitually and importunately. no man can read elijah's short history as given in the word of god, without seeing that he was a man like ourselves. under the juniper-tree of doubt and despondency, he complained of his state and wished he might die. in the cave of a morbid despair, he had to be met and subdued by the vision of god and by the still, small voice. he was just like other men. it was not, therefore, because he was above human follies and frailties, but because he was subject to them, that he is held up to us as an encouraging example of power that prevails in prayer. he laid hold of the almighty arm because he was weak, and he kept hold because to lose hold was to let weakness prevail. nevertheless, this man, by prayer alone, shut up heaven's floodgates for three years and a half, and then by the same key unlocked them. yes, this man tested the meaning of those wonderful words: "concerning the work of my hands command ye me." (isaiah xlv. .) god put the forces of nature for the time under the sway of this one man's prayer--one frail, feeble, foolish mortal locked and unlocked the springs of waters, because he held god's key. george muller was simply another elijah. like him, a man subject to all human infirmities, he had his fits of despondency and murmuring, of distrust and waywardness; but he prayed and kept praying. he denied that he was a miracle-worker, in any sense that implies elevation of character and endowment above other fellow disciples, as though he were a specially privileged saint; but in a sense he _was_ a miracle-worker, if by that is meant that he wrought wonders impossible to the natural and carnal man. with god all things are possible, and so are they declared to be to him that believeth. god meant that george muller, wherever his work was witnessed or his story is read, should be a standing rebuke, to the _practical impotence of the average disciple._ while men are asking whether prayer can accomplish similar wonders as of old, here is a man who answers the question by the indisputable logic of facts. _powerlessness always means prayerlessness._ it is not necessary for us to be sinlessly perfect, or to be raised to a special dignity of privilege and endowment, in order to wield this wondrous weapon of power with god; but it _is_ necessary that we be men and women of prayer--habitual, believing, importunate prayer. george muller considered nothing too small to be a subject of prayer, because nothing is too small to be the subject of god's care. if he numbers our hairs, and notes a sparrow's fall, and clothes the grass in the field, nothing about his children is beneath his tender thought. in every emergency, his one resort was to carry his want to his father. when, in , a legacy of five hundred pounds was, after fourteen months in chancery, still unpaid, the lord was besought to cause this money soon to be placed in his hands; and he prayed that legacy out of the bonds of chancery as prayer, long before, brought peter out of prison. the money was paid contrary to all human likelihood, and with interest at four per cent. when large gifts were proffered, prayer was offered for grace to know whether to accept or decline, that no money might be greedily grasped at for its own sake; and he prayed that, if it could not be accepted without submitting to conditions which were dishonouring to god, it might be declined so graciously, lovingly, humbly, and yet firmly, that the manner of its refusal and return might show that he was acting, not in his own behalf, but as a servant under the authority of a higher master. these are graver matters and might well be carried to god for guidance and help. but george muller did not stop here. in the lesser affairs, even down to the least, he sought and received like aid. his oldest friend, robert c. chapman of barnstaple, gave the writer the following simple incident: in the early days of his love to christ, visiting a friend, and seeing him mending a quill pen, he said: "brother h----, do you pray to god when you mend your pen?" the answer was: "it would be well to do so, but i cannot say that i do pray when mending my pen." brother muller replied: "i always do, and so i mend my pen much better." as we cast this last backward glance at this man of god, seven conspicuous qualities stand out in him, the combination of which made him what he was: stainless uprightness, child-like simplicity, business-like precision, tenacity of purpose, boldness of faith, habitual prayer, and cheerful self-surrender. his _holy living_ was a necessary condition of his _abundant serving,_ as seems so beautifully hinted in the seventeenth verse of the ninetieth psalm: "let the _beauty of the lord our god be upon us,_ and _establish thou the work of our hands upon us."_ how can the work of our hands be truly established by the blessing of our lord, unless his beauty also is upon us--the beauty of his holiness transforming our lives and witnessing to his work in us? so much for the backward look. we must not close without a forward look also. there are two remarkable sayings of our lord which are complements to each other and should be put side by side: [transcriber's note: the following two paragraphs are printed side-by-side in two columns.] "if any man will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." "if any man serve me, let him follow me; and where i am, there shall also my servant be. if any man serve me, him will my father honour." one of these presents the cross, the other the crown; one the renunciation, the other the compensation. in both cases it is, "let him follow me"; but in the second of these passages the following of christ _goes further than the cross of calvary;_ it reaches through the sepulchre to the resurrection life, the forty days' holy walk in the spirit, the ascension to the heavenlies, the session at the right hand of god, the reappearing at his second coming, and the fellowship of his final reign in glory. and two compensations are especially made prominent: first, the _eternal home with christ;_ and, second the _exalted honour from the father._ we too often look only at the cross and the crucifixion, and so see our life in christ only in its oneness with him in suffering and serving; we need to look beyond and see our oneness with him in recompense and reward, if we are to get a complete view of his promise and our prospect. self-denial is not so much an _impoverishment_ as a _postponement:_ we make a sacrifice of a present good for the sake of a future and greater good. even our lord himself was strengthened to endure the cross and despise the shame by the joy that was set before him and the glory of his final victory. if there were seven steps downward in humiliation, there are seven upward in exaltation, until beneath his feet every knee shall bow in homage, and every tongue confess his universal lordship. he that descended is the same also that ascended up far above all heavens, that he might fill all things. george muller counted all as loss that men count gain, but it was for the excellency of the knowledge of jesus, his lord. he suffered the loss of all things and counted them as dung, but it was that he might win christ and be found in him; that he might know him, and not only the fellowship of his sufferings and conformity to his death, but the power of his resurrection, conformity to his life, and fellowship in his glory. he left all behind that the world values, but he reached forth and pressed forward toward the goal, for the prize of the high calling of god in christ jesus. "let us, therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded." when the lord jesus was upon earth, there was one disciple whom he loved, who also leaned on his breast, having the favoured place which only one could occupy. but now that he is in heaven, every disciple may be the loved one, and fill the favoured place, and lean on his bosom. there is no exclusive monopoly of privilege and blessing. he that follows closely and abides in him knows the peculiar closeness of contact, the honour of intimacy, that are reserved for such as are called and chosen and faithful, and follow the lamb whithersoever he goeth. god's self-denying servants are on their way to the final sevenfold perfection, at home with him, and crowned with honour: "and there shall be no more curse; but the throne of god and of the lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him; and they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads, and there shall be no night there, and they shall reign for ever and ever." amen! appendix a scripture texts that moulded george muller certain marked scripture precepts and promises had such a singular influence upon this man of god, and so often proved the guides to his course, that they illustrate psalm cxix. : "thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." those texts which, at the parting of the way, became to him god's signboards, showing him the true direction, are here given, as nearly as may be in the order in which they became so helpful to him. the study of them will prove a kind of spiritual biography, outlining his career. some texts, known to have been very conspicuous in their influence, we put in capitals. the italics are his own. "god so loved the world that he gave his only-begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (john iii. .) "cursed be the man that trusteth in man and maketh flesh his arm." (jeremiah xvii. .) "o, fear the lord, ye his saints; for there is no want to them that fear him." (psa. xxxiv. .) "owe no man anything, but to love one another." (rom. xiii. .) "seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (matt. vi. .) "the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation." ( tim. iii. .) "ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." (matt. vii. , .) "whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will i do, that the father may be glorified in the son: if ye shall ask anything in my name i will do it." (john xiv. , .) "therefore i say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, and what ye shall drink, nor yet for your body what ye shall put on.... take, therefore, no thought for the morrow." (matt. vi. - .) "if any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine." (john vii. .) "if ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (john viii. , .) "and the eunuch said, see, here is water: what doth hinder me to be baptized? and philip said, if thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. and he answered and said, i believe that jesus christ is the son of gad. and they went down both into the water, both philip and the eunuch, and he baptized him." (acts viii, - .) "know ye not that so many of us as were baptized into jesus christ were baptized into his death? therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death." (rom. vi. , .) "upon the first day of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread." (acts xx. .) "my brethren, have not the faith of our lord jesus christ, the lord of glory, with respect of persons. for if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a man in vile raiment; and ye have respect unto him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool, are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts?" (james ii. - .) "having, then, gifts differing according to the grace that is given us." (rom. xii. .) "all these worketh that one and the selfsame spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will." ( cor. xii. .) "not because i desire a gift, but i desire fruit that may abound to your account." (philip, iv. .) "take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body what ye shall put on.".... "behold the fowls of the air.... consider the lilies of the field.... for your heavenly father knoweth that ye have need of these things." (matt. vi. - .) "lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth." (matt. vi. .) "sell that ye have and give alms." (luke xii. .) "a man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven." (john iii. .) "simeon hath declared how god at the first did visit the gentiles, to take out of them a people for his name." (acts xv. . comp. matt. xiii. - , - .) "this know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.... evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived." ( tim. iii. , .) "come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the lord, and touch not the unclean thing." ( cor. vi. - .) "not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the lord of hosts." (zech. iv. .) "my grace is sufficient for thee." ( cor. xii. .) "let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with god." ( cor. vii. , .) "all scripture is given by inspiration of god, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness." ( tim. iii. .) "open thy mouth wide, and i will fill it." (psa. lxxxi. .) "mine hour is not yet come." (john ii. .) "he took a child, and set him in the midst of them; and when he had taken him in his arms, he said unto them, whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me; and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me." (mark ix. , .) "if it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." (rom. xii. .) "for they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous; nevertheless, afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." (heb. xii. , .) "what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." (mark xi. .) "he that believeth on him shall not be confounded." ( pet. ii. .) "o thou that hearest prayer, unto thee shall all flesh come." (psa. lxv. .) "come and hear, all ye that fear god, and i will declare what he hath done for my soul." (psa. lxvi. .) "a father of the fatherless." (psa. lxviii. .) "my son, despise not thou the chastening of the lord; neither be weary of his correction." (prov. iii. .) "like as a father pitieth his children, so the lord pitieth them that fear him." (psa. ciii. .) "jesus christ the same yesterday, and to-day, and for ever." (heb. xiii. .) "to-morrow shall take thought for the things of itself." "sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." (matt, vi. .) "hitherto hath the lord helped us." ( sam. vii. .) "oh taste and see that the lord is good:" "blessed is the man that trusteth in him!" (psalm xxxiv. .) "all the fat is the lord's." (lev. iii. .) "i am poor and needy; yet the lord thinketh upon me." (psa. xl. .) "delight thyself also in the lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." (psa. xxxvii. .) "if i regard iniquity in my heart, the lord will not hear me." (psa. lxvi. .) "know that the lord hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the lord will hear when i call unto him." (psa. iv. .) "jehovah jireh." (the lord will provide.) (gen. xxii. .) "he hath said, i will never leave thee, nor forsake thee; so that we may boldly say, the lord is my helper." (heb. xiii. , .) "be thou not one of them that strike hands, or of them that are sureties for debts." (prov. xxii. .) "he that hateth suretyship is sure." (prov. xi. .) "i will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly i love you, the less i be loved." ( cor. xii. .) "ye are all children of god by faith in christ jesus." (gal. iii. .) "casting all your care upon him for he careth for you." ( pet. v. .) "be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto god." (phil. iv. .) "said i not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of god?" (john xi. .) "we know that all things work together for good to them that love god." (rom. viii. .) "shall not the judge of all the earth do right?" (gen. xviii. .) "of such (little children) is the kingdom of heaven." (matt. xix. .) "he that spared not his own son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" (rom. viii. .) "every good gift and every perfect gift is from above." (james i. .) "the young lions do lack and suffer hunger; but they that seek the lord shall not want any good thing." (psa. xxxiv. .) "there is that scattereth and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty. the liberal soul shall be made fat, and he that watereth shall be watered also himself." (prov. xi. , .) "give and it shall be given unto you: good measure, pressed down and shaken together, and running over, shall men give unto your bosom. for with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again." (luke vi. .) "the liberal deviseth liberal things; and by liberal things shall he stand." (isa. xxxii. .) "for ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good. (mark xiv. .) "let not then your good be evil spoken of." (rom. xiv. .) "let your moderation (yieldingness) be known unto all men." (phil. iv. .) "my brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations (_i.e._ trials); knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. but let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." (james i. - .) "trust in the lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." (prov. iii. , .) "the integrity of the upright shall guide them; but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them." (prov. xi. .) "commit thy works unto the lord and thy thoughts shall be established." (prov. xvi. .) "for i say through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as god has dealt to every man the measure of faith." (rom. xii. .) "wait on the lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, i say, on the lord." (psa. xxvii. .) "after he had patiently endured he obtained the promise." (heb. vi. .) "verily, verily, i say unto you, whatsoever ye shall ask the father in my name, he will give it you." (john xvi. .) "he which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully." ( cor. ix. .) "ye are bought with a price: therefore, glorify god in your body, and in your spirit, which are god's." ( cor. vi. .) "they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, lord, hast not forsaken them that trust thee." (psa. ix. .) "thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee. trust ye in the lord forever; for in the lord jehovah is everlasting strength." (isa. xxvi. , .) "if there be first a willing mind it is accepted according to that a man hath and not according to that he hath not." ( cor viii. .) "be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the lord." ( cor. xv. .) "let us not be weary in well doing, for _in due season_ we shall reap if we faint not." (gal. vi. .) "oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou 'hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!" (psa. xxxi. .) "thou art good and doest good." (psa. cxix. .) "i know, o lord, that thy judgments are right, and that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me. (psa. cxix. .) "my times are in thy hand." (psa. xxxi. .) "the lord god is a sun and shield: the lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." (psa. lxxxiv. .) "hold thou me up and i shall be safe." (psa. cxix. .) "behold i come quickly, and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be." (rev. xxii. .) "it is more blessed to give than to receive." (acts xx. .) "give us _this day_ our _daily_ bread." (matt. vi. .) "able to do exceeding abundantly above all we ask or think." (eph. iii. .) "them that honour me i will honour." ( sam. ii. .) "that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of jesus christ." ( peter i. .) appendix b apprehension of truth some points which god began to show mr. muller while at teignmouth in : . that the word of god alone is our standard of judgment in spiritual things; that it can be explained only by the holy spirit; and that in our day, as well as in former times, he is the teacher of his people. the office of the holy spirit i had not experimentally understood before that time. indeed, of the office of each of the blessed persons, in what is commonly called the trinity, i had no experimental apprehension. i had not before seen from the scriptures that the father chose us before the foundation of the world; that in him that wonderful plan of our redemption originated, and that he also appointed all the means by which it was to be brought about. further, that the son, to save us, had fulfilled the law, to satisfy its demands, and with it also the holiness of god; that he had borne the punishment due to our sins, and had thus satisfied the justice of god. and further, that the holy spirit alone can teach us about our state by nature, show us the need of a saviour, enable us to believe in christ, explain to us the scriptures, help us in preaching, etc. it was my beginning to understand this latter point in particular, which had a great effect on me; for the lord enabled me to put it to the test of experience, by laying aside commentaries, and almost every other book, and simply reading the word of god and studying it. the result of this was, that the first evening that i shut myself into my room, to give myself to prayer and meditation over the scriptures, i learned more in a few hours than i had done during a period of several months previously. _but the particular difference was that i received real strength for my soul in doing so._ i now began to try by the test of the scriptures the things which i had learned and seen, and found that only those principles which stood the test were really of value. . before this period i had been much opposed to the doctrines of election, particular redemption, and final persevering grace: so much so that, a few days after my arrival at teignmouth i called election a devilish doctrine. i did not believe that i had brought myself to the lord, for that was too manifestly false; but yet i held, that i might have resisted finally. and further, i knew nothing about the choice of god's people, and did not believe that the child of god, when once made so; was safe for ever. in my fleshly mind i had repeatedly said, if once i could prove that i am a child of god for ever, i might go back into the world for a year or two, and then return to the lord, and at last be saved. but now i was brought to examine these precious truths by the word of god. being made willing to have no glory of my own in the conversion of sinners, but to consider myself merely as an instrument; and being made willing to receive what the scriptures said; i went to the word, reading the new testament from the beginning, with a particular reference to these truths. to my great astonishment i found that the passages which speak decidedly for election and persevering grace were about four times as many as those which speak apparently against these truths; and even those few, shortly after, when i had examined and understood them, served to confirm me in the above doctrines. as to the effect which my belief in these doctrines had on me, i am constrained to state, for god's glory, that though i am still exceedingly weak, and by no means so dead to the lusts of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, as i might and as i ought to be, yet, by the grace of god, i have walked more closely with him since that period. my life has not been so variable, and i may say that i have lived much more for god than before. and for this have i been strengthened by the lord, in a great measure, through the instrumentality of these truths. for in the time of temptation, i have been repeatedly led to say: should i thus sin? i should only bring misery into my soul for a time, and dishonour god; for, being a son of god for ever, i should have to be brought back again, though it might be in the way of severe chastisement. thus, i say, the electing love of god in christ (when i have been able to realize it) has often been, the means of _producing holiness, instead of leading me into sin._ it is only the notional apprehension of such truths, the want of having them in the heart, whilst they are in the head, which is dangerous. . another truth, into which, in a measure, i was led, respected the lord's coming. my views concerning this point, up to that time, had been completely vague and unscriptural. i had believed what others told me, without trying it by the word. i thought that things were getting better and better, and that soon the whole world would be converted. but now i found in the word that we have not the least scriptural warrant to look for the conversion of the world before the return of our lord. i found in the scriptures that that which will usher in the glory of the church, and uninterrupted joy to the saints, is the return of the lord jesus, and that, till then, things will be more or less in confusion. i found in the word, that the return of jesus, and not death, was the hope of the apostolic christians; and that it became me, therefore, to look for his appearing. and this truth entered so into my heart that, though i went into devonshire exceedingly weak, scarcely expecting that i should return again to london, yet i was immediately, on seeing this truth, brought off from looking for death, and was made to look for the return of the lord. having seen this truth, the lord also graciously enabled me to apply it, in some measure at least, to my own heart, and to put the solemn question to myself--what may i do for the lord, before he returns, as he may soon come? . in addition to these truths, it pleased the lord to lead me to see a higher standard of devotedness than i had seen before. he led me, in a measure, to see what is my true glory in this world, even to be despised, and to be poor and mean with christ. i saw then, in a measure, though i have seen it more fully since, that it ill becomes the servant to seek to be rich, and great, and honoured in that world where his lord was poor, and mean, and despised. appendix c separation from the london society for promoting christianity among the jews. it became a point of solemn consideration with me, whether i could remain connected with the society in the usual way. my chief objections were these: . if i were sent out by the society, it was more than probable, yea, almost needful, if i were to leave england, that i should labour on the continent, as i was unfit to be sent to eastern countries on account of my health, which would probably have suffered, both on account of the climate, and of my having to learn other languages. now, if i _did_ go to the continent, it was evident that without ordination i could not have any extensive field of usefulness, as unordained ministers are generally prevented from labouring freely there; but i could not conscientiously submit to be ordained by unconverted men, professing to have power to set me apart for the ministry, or to communicate something to me for this work which they do not possess themselves. besides this, i had other objections to being connected with _any_ state church or national religious establishment, which arose from the increased light which i had obtained through the reception of this truth, that _the word of god is our only standard, and the holy spirit our only teacher._ for as i now began to compare what i knew of the establishment in england and those on the continent with this only true standard, the word of god, i found that all establishments, even because they are establishments, i.e., the world and the church mixed up together, not only contain in them the principles which necessarily must lead to departure from the word of god; but also, as long as they remain establishments, entirely preclude the acting throughout according to the holy scriptures.--then again, if i were to stay in england, the society would not allow me to preach in any place indiscriminately, where the lord might open a door for me; and to the ordination of english bishops i had still greater objections than to the ordination of a prussian consistory. . i further had a conscientious objection against being led and directed by _men_ in my missionary labours. as a servant of christ, it appeared to me i ought to be guided by the spirit, and not by men, as to time and place; and this i would say, with all deference to others, who may be much more taught and much more spiritually minded than myself. a servant of christ has but one master. . i had love for the jews, and i had been enabled to give proofs of it; yet i could not conscientiously say, as the committee would expect from me, that i would spend the greater part of my time only among them. for the scriptural plan seemed to me that, in coming to a place, i should seek out the jews, and commence my labour particularly among them; but that, if they rejected the gospel, i should go to the nominal christians.--the more i weighed these points, the more it appeared to me that i should be acting hypocritically, were i to suffer them to remain in my mind, without making them known to the committee. appendix d the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad i. the principles of the institution. . we consider every believer bound, in one way or other, to help the cause of christ, and we have scriptural warrant for expecting the lord's blessing upon our work of faith and labour of love: and although, according to matt. xiii. - , tim. iii. - , and many other passages, the world will not be converted before the coming of our lord jesus, still, while he tarries, all scriptural means ought to be employed for the ingathering of the elect of god. . the lord helping us, we do not mean to seek the patronage of the world; i.e., we never intend to ask _unconverted_ persons of rank or wealth to countenance this institution, because this, we consider, would be dishonourable to the lord. in the name of our god we set up our banners, psa. xx. ; he alone shall be our patron, and if he helps us we shall prosper, and if he is not on our side, we shall not succeed. . we do not mean to _ask_ unbelievers for money ( cor. vi. -- ); though we do not feel ourselves warranted to refuse their contributions, if they, of their own accord should offer them. (acts xxviii. - .) . we reject altogether the help of unbelievers in managing or carrying on the affairs of the institution. ( cor. vi. - .) . we intend never to enlarge the field of labour by contracting debts (rom. xiii. ), and afterwards appealing to the church of god for help, because this we consider to be opposed both to the letter and the spirit of the new testament; but in secret prayer, god helping us, we shall carry the wants of the institution to the lord, and act according to the means that god shall give. . we do not mean to reckon the success of the institution by the amount of money given, or the number of bibles distributed, etc., but by the lord's blessing upon the work (zech. iv. ); and we expect this, in the proportion in which he shall help us to wait upon him in prayer. . while we would avoid aiming after needless singularity, we desire to go on simply according to scripture, without compromising the truth; at the same time thankfully receiving any instruction which experienced believers, after prayer, upon scriptural ground, may have to give us concerning the institution. ii. the objects of the institution are: . to _assist_ day-schools, sunday-schools, and adult-schools, in which instruction is given upon _scriptural principles,_ and, as far as the lord may give the means, and supply us with suitable teachers, and in other respects make our path plain, to establish schools of this kind. a. by day-schools upon scriptural principles, we understand day-schools in which the teachers are godly persons,--in which the way of salvation is scripturally pointed out,--and in which no instruction is given opposed to the principles of the gospel. b. sunday-schools, in which all the teachers are believers, and in which the holy scriptures alone are the foundation of instruction, are such only as the institution assists with the supply of bibles, testaments, etc.; for we consider it unscriptural that any persons who do not profess to know the lord themselves should be allowed to give religious instruction. c. the institution does not assist any adult-schools with the supply of bibles, testaments, spelling-books, etc., except the teachers are believers. . to circulate the holy scriptures. we sell bibles and testaments to poor persons at a reduced price. but while we, in general, think it better that the scriptures should be _sold,_ and not given altogether gratis, still, in cases of extreme poverty, we think it right to give, without payment, a cheap edition. . the third object of this institution is to aid missionary efforts. we desire to assist those missionaries whose proceedings appear to be most according to the scriptures. it is proposed to give such a portion of the amount of the donations to each of the fore-mentioned objects as the lord may direct; but if none of the objects should claim a more particular assistance, to lay out an equal portion upon each; yet so that if any donor desires to give for one of the objects exclusively the money shall be appropriated accordingly. appendix e reasons which led mr. muller to establish an orphan house i had constantly cases brought before me which proved that one of the especial things which the children of god needed in our day was _to have their faith strengthened._ for instance: i might visit a brother who worked fourteen or even sixteen hours a day at his trade, the necessary result of which was that not only his body suffered, but his soul was lean, and he had no enjoyment in the things of god. under such circumstances i might point out to him that he ought to work less, in order that his bodily health might not suffer, and that he might gather strength for his inner man by reading the word of god, by meditation over it, and by prayer. the reply, however, i generally found to be something like this: "but if i work less, i do not earn enough for the support of my family. even now, whilst i work so much, i have scarcely enough. the wages are so low, that i must work hard in order to obtain what i need." there was no trust in god. no real belief in the truth of that word: "seek ye first the kingdom of god, and his righteousness: and all these things shall be added unto you." i might reply something like this: "my dear brother, it is not your work which supports your family, but the lord; and he who has fed you and your family when you could not work at all, on account of illness, would surely provide for you and yours if, for the sake of obtaining food for your inner man, you were to work only for so many hours a day as would allow you proper time for retirement. and is it not the case now, that you begin the work of the day after having had only a few hurried moments for prayer; and when you leave off your work in the evening, and mean then to read a little of the word of god, are you not too much worn out in body and mind to enjoy it, and do you not often fall asleep whilst reading the scriptures, or whilst on your knees in prayer?" the brother would allow it was so; he would allow that my advice was good; but still i read in his countenance, even if he should not have actually said so, "how should i get on if i were to _carry out_ your advice?" i longed, therefore, to have something to point the brother to, as a visible proof that our god and father is the same faithful god as ever he was; as willing as ever to prove himself to be the living god, in our day as formerly, _to all who put their trust in him._--again, sometimes i found children of god tried in mind by the prospect of old age, when they might be unable to work any longer, and therefore were harassed by the fear of having to go into the poor-house. if in such a case i pointed out to them how their heavenly father has always helped those who put their trust in him, they might not, perhaps, always say that times have changed; but yet it was evident enough that god was not looked upon by them as the living god. my spirit was ofttimes bowed down by this, and i longed to set something before the children of god whereby they might see that he does not forsake, even in our day, those who rely upon him.--another class of persons were brethren in business, who suffered in their souls, and brought guilt on their consciences, by carrying on their business almost in the same way as unconverted persons do. the competition in trade, the bad times, the over-peopled country, were given as reasons why, if the business were carried on simply according to the word of god it could not be expected to do well. such a brother, perhaps, would express the wish that he might be differently situated; but very rarely did i see _that there was a stand made for god, that there was the holy determination to trust in the living god, and to depend on him, in order that a good conscience might be maintained._ to this class likewise i desired to show, by a visible proof, that god is unchangeably the same.--then there was another class of persons, individuals who were in professions in which they could not continue with a good conscience, or persons who were in an unscriptural position with reference to spiritual things; but both classes feared, on account of the consequences, to give up the profession in which they could not abide with god, or to leave their position, lest they should be thrown out of employment. my spirit longed to be instrumental in strengthening their faith by giving them not only instances from the word of god of his willingness and ability to help all those who rely upon him, but _to show them by proofs_ that he is the same in our day. i well knew _that the word of god ought to be enough,_ and it was, by grace, enough to me; but still, i considered that i ought to lend a helping hand to my brethren, if by any means, by this visible proof to the unchangeable faithfulness of the lord i might strengthen their hands in god; for i remembered what a great blessing my own soul had received through the lord's dealings with his servant, a. h. francke, who, in dependence upon the living god alone, established an immense orphan house, which i had seen many times with my own eyes. i, therefore, judged myself bound to be the servant of the church of god, in the particular point on which i had obtained mercy: namely, _in being able to take god by his word and to rely upon it._ all these exercises of my soul, which resulted from the fact that so many believers, with whom i became acquainted, were harassed and distressed in mind, or brought guilt on their consciences, on account of not trusting in the lord, were used by god to awaken in my heart the desire of setting before the church at large, and before the world, a proof that he has not in the least changed; and this seemed to me best done by the establishing of an orphan house. it needed to be something which could be seen, even by the natural eye. now if i, a poor man, simply by prayer and faith, obtained, _without asking any individual,_ the means for establishing and carrying on an orphan house, there would be something which, with the lord's blessing, might be instrumental in strengthening the faith of the children of god, besides being a testimony to the consciences of the unconverted of the reality of the things of god. this, then, was the primary reason for establishing the orphan house. i certainly did from my heart desire to be used by god to benefit the bodies of poor children bereaved of both parents, and seek, in other respects, with the help of god, to do them good for this life;--i also particularly longed to be used by god in getting the dear orphans trained up in the fear of god;--but still, the first and primary object of the work was (and still is) that god might be magnified by the fact that the orphans under my care are provided with all they need only _by prayer and faith,_ without any one being asked by me or my fellow labourers, whereby it may be seen that god is faithful still, and hears prayer still. the three chief reasons for establishing an orphan house are: . that god may be glorified, should he be pleased to furnish me with the means, in its being seen that it is not a vain thing to trust in him; and that thus the faith of his children may be strengthened. . the spiritual welfare of fatherless and motherless children. . their temporal welfare. that to which my mind has been particularly directed is to establish an orphan house in which destitute fatherless and motherless children may be provided with food and raiment, and scriptural education. concerning this intended orphan house i would say: . it is intended to be in connection with the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, in so far as it respects the reports, accounts, superintendence, and the principles on which it is conducted, so that, in one sense, it may be considered as a new object of the institution, yet with this difference, _that only those funds shall be applied to the orphan house which are expressly given for it._ if, therefore, any believer should prefer to support either those objects which have been hitherto assisted by the funds of this institution, or the intended orphan house, it need only be mentioned, in order that the money may be applied accordingly. . it will only be established if the lord should provide both the means for it and suitable persons to conduct it. as to the means, i would make the following remarks: the reason for proposing to enlarge the field is not because we have of late particularly abounded in means; for we have been rather straitened. the many gracious answers, however, which the lord had given us concerning this institution led brother c----r and me to give ourselves to prayer, asking him to supply us with the means to carry on the work, as we consider it unscriptural to contract debts. during five days, we prayed several times, both unitedly and separately. after that time, the lord began to answer our prayers, so that, within a few days, about . was given to us. i would further say that the very gracious and tender dealings of god with me, in having supplied, in answer to prayer, for the last five years, my own temporal wants without any certain income, so that money, provisions, and clothes have been sent to me at times when i was greatly straitened, and that not only in small but large quantities; and not merely from individuals living in the same place with me, but at a considerable distance; and that not merely from intimate friends, but from individuals whom i have never seen: all this, i say, has often led me to think, even as long as four years ago, that the lord had not given me this simple reliance on him merely for myself, but also for others. often, when i saw poor neglected children running about the streets at teignmouth, i said to myself: "may it not be the will of god that i should establish schools for these children, asking him to give me the means?" however, it remained only a thought in my mind for two or three years. about two years and six months since i was particularly stirred up afresh to do something for destitute children, by seeing so many of them begging in the streets of bristol, and coming to our door. it was not, then, left undone on account of want of trust in the lord, but through an abundance of other things calling for all the time and strength of my brother craik and myself; for the lord had both given faith, and had also shown by the following instance, in addition to very many others, both what he can and what he will do. one morning, whilst sitting in my room, i thought about the distress of certain brethren, and said thus to myself: "oh, that it might please the lord to give me the means to help these poor brethren!" about an hour afterwards i had pounds sent as a present for myself from a brother whom up to this day i have never seen, and who was then, and is still, residing several thousand miles from this. should not such an experience, together with promises like that one in john xiv. , , encourage us to ask with all boldness, for ourselves and others, both temporal and spiritual blessings? the lord, for i cannot but think it was he, again and again brought the thought about these poor children to my mind, till at last it ended in the establishment of "the scriptural knowledge institution, for home and abroad"; since the establishment of which, i have had it in a similar way brought to my mind, first about fourteen months ago, and repeatedly since, but especially during these last weeks, to establish an orphan house. my frequent prayer of late has been, that if it be of god, he would let it come to pass; if not, that he would take from me all thoughts about it. the latter has not been the case, but i have been led more and more to think that the matter may be of him. now, if so, he can influence his people _in any part of the world_ (for i do not look to bristol, nor even to england, but to the living god, whose is the gold and the silver), to intrust me and brother c----r, whom the lord has made willing to help me in this work with the means. till we have _them,_ we can do nothing in the way of renting a house, furnishing it, etc. yet, when once as much as is needed for this has been sent us, as also proper persons to engage in the work, we do not think it needful to wait till we have the orphan house endowed, or a number of yearly subscribers for it; but we trust to be enabled by the lord, who has taught us to ask for our _daily_ bread, to look to him for the supply of the _daily_ wants of those children whom he may be pleased to put under our care. any donations will be received at my house. should any believers have tables, chairs, bedsteads, bedding, earthenware, or any kind of household furniture to spare, for the furnishing of the house; or remnants, or pieces of calico, linen, flannel, cloth, or any materials useful for wearing apparel; or clothes already worn, they will be thankfully received. respecting the persons who are needed for carrying on the work, a matter of no less importance than the procuring of funds, i would observe that we look for them to god himself, as well as for the funds; and that all who may be engaged as masters, matrons, and assistants, according to the smallness or largeness of the institution, must be known to us as true believers; and moreover, as far as we may be able to judge, must likewise be qualified for the work. . at present nothing can be said as to the time when the operations are likely to commence; nor whether the institution will embrace children of both sexes, or be restricted either to boys or girls exclusively; nor of what age they will be received, and how long they may continue in it; for though we have thought about these things, yet we would rather be guided in these particulars by the amount of the means which the lord may put into our hands, and by the number of the individuals whom he may provide for conducting the institution. should the lord condescend to use us as instruments, a short printed statement will be issued as soon as something more definite can be said. . it has appeared well to us to receive only such destitute children as have been bereaved of both parents. . the children are intended, if girls, to be brought up for service; if boys, for a trade; and therefore they will be employed, according to their ability and bodily strength, in useful occupations, and thus help to maintain themselves; besides this, they are intended to receive a plain education; but the chief and the special end of the institution will be to seek, with god's blessing, to bring them to the knowledge of jesus christ by instructing them in the scriptures. further account respecting the orphan house, etc. when, of late, the thoughts of establishing an orphan house, in dependence upon the lord, revived in my mind, during the first two weeks i only prayed that if it were of the lord he would bring it about; but if not, that he graciously would be pleased to take all thoughts about it out of my mind. my uncertainty about knowing the lord's mind did not arise from questioning whether it would be pleasing in his sight that there should be an abode and scriptural education provided for destitute fatherless and motherless children; but whether it were his will that _i_ should be the instrument of setting such an object on foot, as my hands were already more than filled. my comfort, however, was, that, if it were his will, he would provide not merely the means, but also suitable individuals to take care of the children, so that my part of the work would take only such a portion of my time as, considering the importance of the matter, i might give, notwithstanding my many other engagements. the whole of those two weeks i never asked the lord for money or for persons to engage in the work. on december th, however, the subject of my prayer all at once became different. i was reading psalm lxxxi., and was particularly struck, more than at any time before, with verse : _"open thy mouth wide and i will fill it."_ i thought a few moments about these words, and then was led to apply them to the case of the orphan house. it struck me that i had never asked the lord for anything concerning it, except to know his will respecting its being established or not; and i then fell on my knees, and opened my mouth wide, asking him for much. i asked in submission to his will, and without fixing a time when he should answer my petition. i prayed that he would give me a house, i.e., either as a loan, or that some one might be led to pay the rent for one, or that one might be given permanently for this object; further, i asked him for pounds; and likewise for suitable individuals to take care of the children. besides this, i have been since led to ask the lord to put into the hearts of his people to send me articles of furniture for the house, and some clothes for the children. when i was asking the petition i was fully aware what i was doing, i.e., that i was asking for something which i had no natural prospect of obtaining from the brethren whom i know, but which was not too much for the lord to grant. appendix f arguments in prayer for the orphan work the arguments which i plead with god are: . that i set about the work for the glory of god, i.e., that there might be a visible proof, by god supplying, _in answer to prayer only,_ the necessities of the orphans, that he is the _living_ god, and most willing, even in _our_ day, to answer prayer: and that, therefore, he would be pleased to send supplies. . that god is the "father of the fatherless," and that he, therefore, as their father, would be pleased to provide. (psalm lxviii. .) . that i have received the children in the name of jesus, and that, therefore, he, in these children, has been received, and is fed, and is clothed; and that, therefore, he would be pleased to consider this. (mark ix. , .) . that the faith of many of the children of god has been strengthened by this work hitherto, and that, if god were to withhold the means for the future, those who are weak in faith would be staggered; whilst, by a continuance of means, their faith might still further be strengthened. . that many enemies would laugh, were the lord to withhold supplies, and say, did we not foretell that this enthusiasm would come to nothing? . that many of the children of god, who are uninstructed, or in a carnal state, would feel themselves justified to continue their alliance with the world in the work of god, and to go on as heretofore, in their unscriptural proceedings respecting similar institutions, so far as the obtaining of means is concerned, if he were not to help me. . that the lord would remember that i am his child, and that he would graciously pity me, and remember that _i_ cannot provide for these children, and that therefore he would not allow this burden to lie upon me long without sending help. . that he would remember likewise my fellow labourers in the work, who trust in him, but who would be tried were he to withhold supplies. . that he would remember that i should have to dismiss the children from under our scriptural instruction to their former companions. . that he would show that those were mistaken who said that, _at the first,_ supplies might be expected, while the thing was new, but not afterwards. . that i should not know were he to withhold means, what construction i should put upon all the many most remarkable answers to prayer which he has given me heretofore in connection with this work, and which most fully have shown to me that it is of god. appendix g the purchase of a site, etc. mr. benjamin perry gives an account of the circumstances under which the land was purchased, prior to the erection of the orphan houses on ashley down, as he heard it from mr. muller's own mouth, showing how directly the lord worked on the mind of the owner. mr. muller had been making inquiries respecting the purchase of land much nearer bristol, the prices asked being not less than pounds per acre, when he heard that the land upon which the orphan houses nos. and stand was for sale, the price being pounds per acre. he therefore called at the house of the owner, and was informed that he was not at home, but that he could be seen at his place of business in the city. mr. muller went there, and was informed that he had left a few minutes before, and that he would find him at home. most men would have gone off to the owner's house at once; but mr. muller stopped and reflected, "peradventure the lord, having allowed me to miss the owner twice in so short a time, has a purpose that i should not see him to-day; and lest i should be going before the lord in the matter, i will wait till the morning." and accordingly he waited and went the next morning, when he found the owner at home; and on being ushered into his sitting-room, he said: "ah, mr. muller, i know what you have come to see me about. you want to buy my land on ashley down. i had a dream last night, and i saw you come in to purchase the land, for which i have been asking pounds per acre; but the lord told me not to charge you more than pounds per acre, and therefore if you are willing to buy at that price the matter is settled." and within ten minutes the contract was signed. "thus," mr. muller pointed out, "by being careful to _follow_ the lord, instead of _going before_ his leading, i was permitted to purchase the land for pounds per acre less than i should have paid if i had gone to the owner the evening before." appendix h god's faithfulness in providing mr. perry writes: at one meeting at huntly, by special request mr. muller gave illustrations of god's faithfulness in answer to prayer, connected with the orphan work, of which the following are examples: a. he stated that at various times, not only at the beginning of the work, but also in later years, god had seen fit to try his faith to the utmost, but only to prove to him the more definitely that he would never be other than his faithful covenant-keeping god. in illustration he referred to a time when, the children having had their last meal for the day, there was nothing left in money or kind for their breakfast the following morning. mr. muller went home, but nothing came in, and he retired for the night, committing the need to god to provide. early the next morning he went for a walk, and while praying for the needed help he took a turn into a road which he was quite unconscious of, and after walking a short distance a friend met him, and said how glad he was to meet him, and asked him to accept pounds for the orphans. he thanked him, and without saying a word to the donor about the time of need, he went at once to the orphan houses, praising god for this direct answer to prayer. b. on another occasion, when there were no funds in hand to provide breakfast for the orphans, a gentleman called before the time for breakfast and left a donation that supplied all their present needs. when that year's report was issued, this proof of god's faithfulness in sending help just when needed was recorded, and a short time after the donor called and made himself known, saying that as his donation had been given at such a special time of need he felt he must state the circumstances under which he had given the money, which were as follows: he had occasion to go to his office in bristol early that morning before breakfast, and on the way the thought occurred to him: "i will go to mr. muller's orphan house and give them a donation," and accordingly turned and walked about a quarter of a mile toward the orphanage, when he stopped, saying to himself, "how foolish of me to be neglecting the business i came out to attend to! i can give money to the orphans another time," and he turned round and walked back towards his office, but soon felt that he _must_ return. he said to himself: "the orphans may be needing the money _now._ i may be leaving them in want when god had sent me to help them;" and so strong was this impression that he again turned round and walked back till he reached the orphanages, and thus handed in the money which provided them with breakfast. mr. mullets comment on this was: "just like my gracious heavenly father!" and then he urged his hearers to trust and prove what a faithful covenant-keeping god he is to those who put their trust in him. appendix k further recollections of mr. muller mr. perry furnishes also the following reminiscences: as george muller was engaged in free, homely conversation with his friends on a sunday afternoon within about three weeks of his departure to be with the lord, he referred to two visits he had made during the previous week to two old and beloved friends. he had fully appreciated that, though they were about ten years younger than himself, his power to walk, and specially his power to continue his service for his lord, was far greater than theirs. so that he playfully said, with a bright smile: "i came away from both these beloved brethren feeling that i was quite young by comparison as to strength, though so much older," and then at once followed an ascription of praise to god for his goodness to him: "oh, how very kind and good my heavenly father has been to me! i have no aches or pains, no rheumatism, and now in my ninety-third year i can do a day's work at the orphan houses with as much ease and comfort to myself as ever." one sentence aptly sets forth a striking feature in his christian character, viz.: george muller, nothing. in himself worse than nothing. the lord jesus, everything. by grace, in christ, the son of the king. and as such he lived; for all those who knew and loved this beloved and honoured servant of christ best would testify that his habitual attitude towards the lord was to treat him as an ever-present, almighty, loving friend, whose love was far greater to him than he could ever return, and who delighted in having his entire confidence about everything, and was not only ready at hand to listen to his prayers and praises about great and important matters, but nothing was too small to speak to him about. so real was this that it was almost impossible to be enjoying the privilege of private, confidential intercourse with him without being conscious that at least to him the lord was really present, one to whom he turned for counsel, in prayer, or in praise, as freely as most men would speak to a third person present; and again and again most marked answers to prayer have been received in response to petitions thus unitedly presented to the lord altogether apart from his own special work. appendix l church fellowship, baptism, etc. when brother craik and i began to labour in bristol, and consequently some believers united with us in fellowship, assembling together at bethesda, we began meeting together on the basis of the written word only, without having any church rules whatever. from the commencement it was understood that, as the lord should help us, we would try everything by the word of god, and introduce and hold fast that only which could be proved by scripture. when we came to this determination on aug. , , it was indeed in weakness, but it was in uprightness of heart.--on account of this it was that, as we ourselves were not fully settled as to whether those only who had been baptized after they had believed, or whether all who believed in the lord jesus, irrespective of baptism, should be received into fellowship, nothing was determined about this point. we felt free to break bread and be in communion with those who were not baptized, and therefore could with a good conscience labour at gideon, where the greater part of the saints, at least at first, were unbaptized; but, at the same time, we had a secret wish that none but believers who were baptized might be united with us at bethesda. our reason for this was that we had witnessed in devonshire much painful disunion, resulting as we thought, from baptized and unbaptized believers being in fellowship. without, then, making it a rule, that bethesda church was to be one of close communion, we nevertheless took care that those who applied for fellowship should be instructed about baptism. for many months there occurred no difficulty as none applied for communion but such as had either been already baptized, or wished to be, or who became convinced of the scriptural character of believers' baptism, after we had conversed with them; afterwards, however, three sisters applied for fellowship, none of whom had been baptized; nor were their views altered after we had conversed with them. as, nevertheless, brother craik and i considered them true believers, and we ourselves were not fully convinced what was the mind of the lord in such a case, we thought it right that these sisters should be received; yet so that it might be unanimously, as all our church acts _then_ were done; but we knew _by that time_ that there were several in fellowship with us who could not conscientiously receive unbaptized believers. we mentioned, therefore, the names of the three sisters to the church, stating that they did not see believers' baptism to be scriptural, and that, if any brother saw, on that account, a reason why they should not be received, he should let us know. the result was that several objected, and two or three meetings were held, at which we heard the objections of the brethren, and sought for ourselves to obtain acquaintance with the mind of god on the point. whilst several days thus passed away before the matter was decided, one of those three sisters came and thanked us that we had not received her, before being baptized, for she now saw that it was only shame and the fear of man which had kept her back, and that the lord had now made her willing to be baptized. by this circumstance those brethren who considered it scriptural that all ought to be baptized before being received into fellowship, were confirmed in their views; and as to brother craik and me, it made us, at least, still more question whether those brethren might not be right; and we felt, therefore, that in such a state of mind we could not oppose them. the one sister, therefore, who wished to be baptized was received into fellowship, but the two others not. our consciences were the less affected by this because all, though not baptized, might take the lord's supper with us at bethesda, though not be received into full fellowship; and because at gideon, where there were baptized and unbaptized believers, they might even be received into full fellowship; for we had not then clearly seen that there is _no scriptural_ distinction between being in fellowship with individuals and breaking bread with them. thus matters stood for many months, i.e., believers were received to the breaking of bread even at bethesda, though not baptized, but they were not received to all the privileges of fellowship.--in august of i had a conversation with brother k. c. on, the subject of receiving the unbaptized into communion, a subject about which, for years, my mind had been more or less exercised. this brother put the matter thus before me: either unbaptized believers come under the class of persons who walk disorderly, and, in that case, we ought to withdraw from them ( thess. iii. ); or they do not walk disorderly. if a believer be walking disorderly, we are not merely to withdraw from him at the lord's table, but our behaviour towards him ought to be decidedly different from what it would be were he not walking disorderly, _on all occasions_ when we may have intercourse with him, or come in any way into contact with him. now this is evidently not the case in the conduct of baptized believers towards their unbaptized fellow believers. the spirit does not suffer it to be so, but he witnesses that their not having been baptized does not necessarily imply that they are walking disorderly; and hence there may be the most precious communion between baptized and unbaptized believers. the spirit does not suffer us to refuse fellowship with them in prayer, in reading or searching the scriptures, in social and intimate intercourse, and in the lord's work; and yet this ought to be the case, were they walking disorderly.--this passage, thess. iii. , to which brother e. c. referred, was the means of showing me the mind of the lord on the subject, which is, _that we ought to receive all whom christ has received_ (rom. xv. ), _irrespective of the measure of grace or knowledge which they have attained unto._--some time after this conversation, in may, , an opportunity occurred, when we (for brother craik had seen the same truth) were called upon to put into practice the light which the lord had been pleased to give us. a sister, who neither _had been baptized,_ nor considered herself under any obligation to be baptized, applied for fellowship. we conversed with her on this as on other subjects and proposed her for fellowship, though our conversation had not convinced her that she ought to be baptized. this led the church again to the consideration of the point. we gave our reasons, from scripture, for considering it right to receive this unbaptized sister to all the privileges of the children of god; but a considerable number, one-third perhaps, expressed conscientious difficulty in receiving her. the example of the apostles, in baptizing the first believers upon a profession of faith, was especially urged, which indeed would be an unsurmountable difficulty had not the truth been mingled with error for so long a time, so that it does not prove wilful disobedience if any one in our day should refuse to be baptized after believing. the lord, however, gave us much help in pointing out the truth to the brethren, so that the number of those who considered that only baptized believers should be in communion decreased almost daily. at last, only fourteen brethren and sisters out of above thought it right, this august , , to separate from us, after we had had much intercourse with them. [i am glad to be able to add that, even of these fourteen, the greater part afterwards saw their error, and came back again to us, and that the receiving of all who love our lord jesus into full communion, irrespective of baptism, has never been the source of disunion among us, though more than fifty-seven years have passed away since.] appendix m church conduct i.--questions respecting the eldership. ( ) _how does it appear to be the mind of god that, in every church, there should be recognized elders?_ _ans._ from the following passages compared together: matt. xxiv. ; luke xii. . from these passages we learn that some are set by the lord himself in the office of rulers and teachers, and that this office (in spite of the fallen state of the church) should be in being, even down to the close of the present dispensation. accordingly, we find from acts xiv. , xx. ; tit. i. ; and pet. v. , that soon after the saints had been converted, and had associated together in a church character, elders were appointed to take the rule over them and to fulfil the office of under-shepherds. this must not be understood as implying that, when believers are associated in church fellowship, they ought to elect elders according to their own will, whether the lord may have qualified persons or not; but rather that such should wait upon god, that he himself would be pleased to raise up such as may be qualified for teaching and ruling in his church. ( ) _how do such come into office?_ _ans._ by the appointment of the holy ghost, acts xx. . ( ) _how may this appointment be made known to the individuals called to the office, and to those amongst whom they may be called to labour?_ _ans._ by the secret call of the spirit, tim. iii. , confirmed by the possession of the requisite qualifications, tim. iii. - ; tit. i. - , and by the lord's blessing resting upon their labours, cor. ix. . in cor. ix. , paul condescends to the weakness of some, who were in danger of being led away by those factious persons who questioned his authority. as an apostle--appointed by the express word of the lord--he needed not such outward confirmation. but if he used his success as an argument in confirmation of his call, how much more may ordinary servants of the lord jesus employ such an argument, seeing that the way in which they are called for the work is such as to require some outward confirmation! ( ) _is it incumbent upon the saints to acknowledge such and to submit to them in the lord?_ _ans._ yes. see cor. xvi. , ; thess. v. , ; heb. xiii. , ; and tim. v. . in these passages obedience to pastoral authority is clearly enjoined. ii.--_ought matters of discipline to be finally settled by the elders_ in private, _or_ in the presence of the church, and as the act of the whole body? _ans._ ( ) such matters are to be finally settled in the presence of the church. this appears from matt. xviii. ; cor. v. , ; cor. ii. - ; tim. v. . ( ) such matters are to be finally settled _as the act of the whole body,_ matt. xviii. , . in this passage the act of exclusion is spoken of as the act of the whole body. cor. v. , , v. , . in this passage paul gives the direction, respecting the exercise of discipline, in such a way to render the whole body responsible: verse , "purge out the old leaven that ye may be a new lump"; and verse , "therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person." from cor. ii. - we learn that the act of exclusion was not the act of the elders only, but of the church: "sufficient to such a man is this punishment [rather, public censure] _which was inflicted of many."_ from verse we learn that the act of restoration was to be a public act of the brethren: "wherefore i beseech you that ye would confirm [rather, ratify by a public act] your love towards him." as to the reception of brethren into fellowship, this is an act of simple obedience to the lord, both on the part of the elders and the whole church. we are bound and privileged to receive all those who make a credible profession of faith in christ, according to that scripture, "receive ye one another, as christ also received us, to the glory of god." (rom. xv. .) iii.--_when should church acts (such as acts of reception, restoration, exclusion, etc.) be attended to?_ _ans._ it cannot be expressly proved from scripture whether such acts were attended to at the meeting for the breaking of bread, or at any other meeting; therefore this is a point on which, if different churches differ, mutual forbearance ought to be exercised. the way in which such matters have hitherto been managed amongst us has been by the church coming together on a week-evening. before we came to bristol we had been accustomed to this mode, and, finding nothing in scripture against it, we continued the practice. but, after prayer and more careful consideration of this point, it has appeared well to us that such acts should be attended to on the lord's days, when the saints meet together for the breaking of bread. we have been induced to make this alteration by the following reasons: ( ) _this latter mode prevents matters from being delayed._ there not being a sufficiency of matter for a meeting on purpose every week, it has sometimes happened that what would better have been stated to the church at once has been kept back from the body for some weeks. now, it is important that what concerns the whole church should be made known as soon as possible to those who are in fellowship, that they may act accordingly. delay, moreover, seems inconsistent with the pilgrim-character of the people of god. ( ) _more believers can be present on the lord's days than can attend on week-evenings._ the importance of this reason will appear from considering how everything which concerns the church should be known to _as many as possible._ for how can the saints pray for those who may have to be excluded,--how can they sympathize in cases of peculiar trial,--and how can they rejoice and give thanks on account of those who may be received or restored, unless they are made acquainted with the facts connected with such cases? ( ) _a testimony is thus given that all who break bread are church members._ by attending to church acts in the meeting for breaking of bread, we show that we _make no difference_ between receiving into fellowship at the lord's supper, and into church membership, but that the individual who is admitted to the lord's table is therewith also received to all the privileges, trials, and responsibilities of church membership. ( ) there is a peculiar propriety in acts of reception, restoration, and exclusion being attended to when the saints meet together for the breaking of bread, as, in that ordinance especially, we show forth our fellowship with each other. objections answered. ( ) this alteration has the appearance of changeableness. _reply._ such an objection would apply to any case in which increased light led to any improvement, and is, therefore, not to be regarded. it would be an evil thing if there were any change respecting the foundation truths of the gospel; but the point in question is only a matter of church order. ( ) more time may thus be required than it would be well to give to such a purpose on the lord's day. _reply._ as, according to this plan, church business will be attended to _every lord's day,_ it is more than probable that the meetings will be thereby prolonged for a few minutes only; but, should circumstance require it, a special meeting may still be appointed during the week, for all who break bread with us. this, however, would only be needful, provided the matters to be brought before the brethren were to require more time than could be given to them at the breaking of bread.* * the practice, later on, gave place to a week-night meeting, on tuesday, for transaction of such "church acts."--a. t. p. n.b. ( ) should any persons be present who do not break bread with us, they may be requested to withdraw whenever such points require to be stated as it would not be well to speak of in the presence of unbelievers. ( ) as there are two places in which the saints meet for the breaking of bread, the matters connected with church acts must be brought out at each place. iv.--questions relative to the lord's supper. ( ) _how frequently ought the breaking of bread to be attended to?_ _ans._ although we have no express command respecting the frequency of its observance, yet the example of the apostles and of the first disciples would lead us to observe this ordinance every lord's day. (acts xx. .) ( ) _what ought to be the character of the meeting at which the saints are assembled for the breaking of bread?_ _ans._ as in this ordinance we show forth our common participation in all the benefits of our lord's death, and our union to him and to each other ( cor. x. , ), opportunity ought to be given for the exercise of the gifts of teaching or exhortation, and communion in prayer and praise. (rom. xii. - ; eph. iv. - .) the manifestation of our common participation in each other's gifts cannot be fully given at such meetings, if the whole meeting is, necessarily, conducted by one individual. this mode of meeting does not, however, take off from those who have the gifts of teaching or exhortation the responsibility of edifying the church as opportunity may be offered. ( ) _is it desirable that the bread should be broken at the lord's supper by one of the elders, or should each individual of the body break it for himself?_ _ans._ neither way can be so decidedly proved from scripture that we are warranted in objecting to the other as positively unscriptural, yet-- ( ) the letter of scripture seems rather in favour of its being done by each brother and sister ( cor. x. , ): "the bread which _we break."_ ( ) its being done by each of the disciples is more fitted to express that we all, by our sins, have broken the body of our lord. ( ) by attending to the ordinance in this way, we manifest our freedom from the common error that the lord's supper must be administered by some particular individual, possessed of what is called a ministerial character, instead of being an act of social worship and obedience. appendix n the wise sayings of george muller few who have not carefully read the narrative of mr. muller and the subsequent reports issued year by year, have any idea of the large amount of wisdom which there finds expression. we give here a few examples of the sagacious and spiritual counsels and utterances with which these pages abound. the body. care of the body. i find it a difficult thing, whilst caring for the body, not to neglect the soul. it seems to me much easier to go on altogether regardless of the body, in the service of the lord, than to take care of the body, in the time of sickness, and not to neglect the soul, especially in an affliction like my present one, when the head allows but little reading or thinking.--what a blessed prospect to be delivered from this wretched evil nature! habits of sleep. my own experience has been, almost invariably, that if i have not the _needful_ sleep, my spiritual enjoyment and strength is greatly affected by it. i judge it of great moment that the believer, in travelling, should seek as much as possible to refrain from travelling by night, or from travelling in such a way as that he is deprived of the needful night's rest; for if he does not, he will be unable with renewed bodily and mental strength to give himself to prayer and meditation, and the reading of the holy scriptures, and he will surely feel the pernicious effects of this all the day long. there may occur cases when travelling by night cannot be avoided; but, if it can, _though we should seem to lose time by it, and though it should cost more money,_ i would most affectionately and solemnly recommend the refraining from night-travelling; for, in addition to our drawing beyond measure upon our bodily strength, we must be losers spiritually. the next thing i would advise with reference to travelling is, with all one's might to seek morning by morning, before setting out, to take time for meditation and prayer, and reading the word of god; for although we are always exposed to temptation, yet we are so especially in travelling. travelling is one of the devil's especial opportunities for tempting us. think of that, dear fellow believers. seek always to ascertain carefully the mind of god, before you begin anything; but do so in particular before you go on a journey, so that you may be quite sure that it is the will of god that you should undertake that journey, lest you should needlessly expose yourself to one of the special opportunities of the devil to ensnare you. so far from envying those who have a carriage and horses at their command, or an abundance of means, so that they are not hindered from travelling for want of means, let us who are not thus situated rather thank god that _in this particular_ we are not exposed to the temptation of needing to be less careful in ascertaining the will of god before we set out on a journey. children. conversion of children. as far as my experience goes, it appears to me that believers generally have expected far too little of present fruit upon their labours among children. there has been a hoping that the lord some day or other would own the instruction which they give to children, and would answer at some time or other, though after many years only, the prayers which they offer up on their behalf. now, while such passages as proverbs xxii. , ecclesiastes xi. , galatians vi. , cor. xv. , give unto us assurance not merely respecting everything which we do for the lord, in general, but also respecting bringing up children in the fear of the lord, in particular, that our labour is not in vain in the lord; yet we have to guard against abusing such passages, by thinking it a matter of little moment whether we see _present_ fruit or not; but, on the contrary, we should give the lord no rest till we see present fruit, and therefore, in persevering, yet submissive, prayer, we should make known our requests unto god. i add, as an encouragement to believers who labour among children, that during the last two years seventeen other young persons or children, from the age of eleven and a half to seventeen, have been received into fellowship among us, and that i am looking out now for many more to be converted, and that not merely of the orphans, but of the sunday-school and day-school children. neglect of children. the power for good or evil that resides in a little child is great beyond all human calculation. a child rightly trained may be a world-wide blessing, with an influence reaching onward to eternal years. but a neglected or misdirected directed child may live to blight and blast mankind, and leave influences of evil which shall roll on in increasing volume till they plunge into the gulf of eternal perdition. "a remarkable instance was related by dr. harris, of new york, at a recent meeting of the state charities aid association. in a small village in a county on the upper hudson, some seventy years ago, a young girl named 'margaret' was sent adrift on the casual charity of the inhabitants. she became the mother of a long race of criminals and paupers, and her progeny has cursed the county ever since. the county records show _two hundred_ of her descendants who have been criminals. in one single generation of her unhappy line there were twenty children; of these, three died in infancy, and seventeen survived to maturity. of the seventeen, nine served in the state prison for high crimes an aggregate term of fifty years, while the others were frequent inmates of jails and penitentiaries and almshouses. of the nine hundred descendants, through six generations, from this unhappy girl who was left on the village streets and abandoned in her childhood, a great number have been idiots, imbeciles, drunkards, lunatics, paupers, and prostitutes: but two hundred of the more vigorous are on record as criminals. this neglected little child has thus cost the county authorities, in the effects she has transmitted, _hundreds of thousands of dollars,_ in the expense and care of criminals and paupers, besides the untold damage she has inflicted on property and public morals." training of children. seek to cherish in your children early the habit of being interested about the work of god, and about cases of need and distress, and use them too at _suitable times,_ and under _suitable circumstances,_ as your almoners, and you will reap fruit from doing so. christian life. beginning of life, etc. god alone can give spiritual life at the first, and keep it up in the soul afterwards. cross-bearing. the christian, like the bee, might suck honey out of every flower. i saw upon a snuffer-stand in bas-relief, "a heart, a cross under it, and roses under both." the meaning was obviously this, that the heart which bears the cross for a time meets with roses afterwards. keeping promises. it has been often mentioned to me, in various places, that brethren in business do not sufficiently attend to the keeping of promises, and i cannot therefore but entreat all who love our lord jesus, and who are engaged in a trade or business, to seek for his sake not to make any promises, except they have every reason to believe they shall be able to fulfil them, and therefore carefully to weigh all the circumstances, before making any engagement, lest they should fail in its accomplishment. it is even in these little ordinary affairs of life that we may either bring much honour or dishonour to the lord; and these are the things which every unbeliever can take notice of. why should it be so often said, and sometimes with a measure of ground, or even much ground: "believers are bad servants, bad tradesmen, bad masters"? surely it ought not to be true that _we, who have power with god to obtain by prayer and faith all needful grace, wisdom, and skill,_ should be bad servants, bad tradesmen, bad masters. the lot and the lottery. it is altogether wrong that i, a child of god, should have anything to do with so worldly a system as that of the lottery. but it was also unscriptural to go to the lot at all for the sake of ascertaining the lord's mind, and this i ground on the following reasons. we have neither a commandment of god for it, nor the example of our lord, nor that of the apostles, _after the holy spirit had been given on the day of pentecost._ . we have many exhortations in the word of god to seek to know his mind by prayer and searching the holy scriptures, but no passage which exhorts us to use the lot. . the example of the apostles (acts i.) in using the lot, in the choice of an apostle in the room of judas iscariot, is the only passage which can be brought in favour of the lot from the new testament (and to the old we have not to go, under this dispensation, for the sake of ascertaining how we ought to live as disciples of christ). now concerning this circumstance we have to remember that the spirit was not yet given (john vii. ; xiv. , ; xvi. , ), by whose teaching especially it is that we may know the mind of the lord; and hence we find that, after the day of pentecost, the lot was no more used, but the apostles gave themselves to prayer and fasting to ascertain how they ought to act. new tastes. what a difference grace makes! there were few people, perhaps, more passionately fond of travelling, and seeing fresh places, and new scenes, than myself; but now, since, by the grace of god, i have seen beauty in the lord jesus, i have lost my taste for these things.... what a different thing, also, to travel in the service of the lord jesus, from what it is to travel in the service of the flesh! obedience. _every instance of obedience, from right motives, strengthens us spiritually, whilst every act of disobedience weakens us spiritually._ separation unto god. may the lord grant that the eyes of many of his children may be opened, so that they may seek, in all spiritual things, to be separated from unbelievers ( cor. vi. - ), and to do _god's work_ according to _god's mind!_ service to one's generation. my business is, with all my might to serve my own generation; in doing so i shall best serve the next generation, should the lord jesus tarry.... the longer i live, the more i am enabled to realize that i have but one life to live on earth, and that this one life is but a _brief_ life, for sowing, in comparison with _eternity,_ for reaping. surety for debt. how precious it is, even for this life, to act according to the word of god! this perfect revelation of his mind gives us directions for everything, even the most minute affairs of this life. it commands us, "be thou not one of them that strike hands, or of them that are sureties for debts." (prov. xxii. .) the way in which satan ensnares persons, to bring them into the net, and to bring trouble upon them by becoming sureties, is, that he seeks to represent the matter as if there were no danger connected with that particular case, and that one might be sure one should never be called upon to pay the money; but the lord, the faithful friend, tells us in his own word that the only way in such a matter "to be sure" is "to hate suretyship." (prov. xi. .) the following points seem to me of solemn moment for consideration, if i were called upon to become surety for another: . what obliges the person, who wishes me to become surety for him, to need a surety? is it really a good cause in which i am called upon to become surety? i do not remember ever to have met with a case in which in a plain, and godly, and in all respects scriptural matter such a thing occurred. there was generally some sin or other connected with it. . if i become surety, notwithstanding what the lord has said to me in his word, am i in such a position that no one will be injured by my being called upon to fulfil the engagements of the person for whom i am going to be surety? in most instances this alone ought to keep one from it. . if still i become surety, the amount of money for which i become responsible must be so in my power that i am able to produce it whenever it is called for, in order that the name of the lord may not be dishonoured. . but if there be the possibility of having to fulfil the engagements of the person in whose stead i have to stand, is it the will of the lord that i should spend my means in that way? is it not rather his will that my means should be spent in another way? . how can i get over the plain word of the lord, which is to the contrary, even if the first four points could be satisfactorily settled? church life. assembly of believers. it has been my own happy lot, during the last thirty-seven years, to become acquainted with hundreds of individuals, who were not inferior to apostolic christians. that the disciples of jesus should meet together on the first day of the week for the breaking of bread, and that that should be their principal meeting, and that those, whether one or several, who are truly gifted by the holy spirit for service, be it for exhortation, or teaching, or rule, etc., are responsible to the lord for the exercise of their gifts--these are to me no matters of uncertainty, but points on which my soul, by grace, is established, through the revealed will of god. formalism. i have often remarked the injurious effects of doing things because others did them, or because it was the custom, or because they were persuaded into acts of _outward_ self-denial, or giving up things whilst the heart did not go along with it, and whilst the _outward act_ was not _the result of the inward powerful working of the holy ghost, and the happy entering into our fellowship with the father and with the son._ everything that is a mere form, a mere habit and custom in divine things, is to be dreaded exceedingly: _life, power, reality,_ this is what we have to aim after. things should not result from without, but from within. the sort of clothes i wear, the kind of house i live in, the quality of the furniture i use, all such like things should not result from other persons' doing so and so, or because it is customary among those brethren with whom i associate to live in such and such a simple, inexpensive self-denying way; but whatever be done in these things, in the way of giving up, or self-denial, or deadness to the world, should result from the joy we have in god, from the knowledge of our being the children of god, from the entering into the preciousness of our future inheritance, etc. far better that for the time being we stand still, and do not take the steps which we see others take, than that it is merely the force of example that leads us to do a thing, and afterwards it be regretted. not that i mean in the least by this to imply we should continue to live in luxury, self-indulgence, and the like, whilst others are in great need; but we should begin the thing in a right way, i.e., aim after the right state of heart; begin _inwardly_ instead of _outwardly._ if otherwise, it will not last. we shall look back, or even get into a worse state than we were before. but oh, how different if joy in god leads us to any little act of self-denial! how gladly do we do it then! how great an honour then do we esteem it to be! how much does the heart then long to be able to do more for him who has done so much for us! we are far then from looking down in proud self-complacency upon those who do not go as far as we do, but rather pray to the lord that he would be pleased to help our dear brethren and sisters forward who may seem to us weak in any particular point; and we also are conscious to ourselves that if we have a little more light or strength with reference to one point, other brethren may have more light or grace in other respects. helping one another. as to the importance of the children of god's opening their hearts to each other, especially when they are getting into a cold state, or are under the power of a certain sin, or are in especial difficulty; i know from my own experience how often the snare of the devil has been broken when under the power of sin; how often the heart has been comforted when nigh to be overwhelmed; how often advice, under great perplexity, has been obtained,--by opening my heart to a brother in whom i had confidence. we are children of the same family, and ought therefore to be helpers one of another. inquiry meetings. . many persons, on account of timidity, would prefer coming at an appointed time to the vestry to converse with us, to calling on us in our own house. . the very fact of appointing a time for seeing people, to converse with them in private concerning the things of eternity, has brought some who, humanly speaking, never would have called on us under other circumstances; yea, it has brought even those who, though they thought they were concerned about the things of god, yet were completely ignorant; and thus we have had an opportunity of speaking to them. . these meetings have also been a great encouragement to ourselves in the work; for often, when we thought that such and such expositions of the word had done no good at all, it was, through these meetings, found to be the reverse; and likewise, when our hands were hanging down, we have been afresh encouraged to go forward in the work of the lord, and to continue sowing the seed in hope, by seeing at these meetings fresh cases, in which the lord had condescended to use us as instruments, particularly as in this way instances have sometimes occurred in which individuals have spoken to us about the benefit which they derived from our ministry, not only a few months before, but even as long as two, three, and four years before. for the above reasons i would particularly recommend to other servants of christ, especially to those who live in large towns, if they have not already introduced a similar plan, to consider whether it may not be well for them also to set apart such times for seeing inquirers. those meetings, however, require much prayer, to be enabled to speak aright, to all those who come, according to their different need; and one is led continually to feel that one is not sufficient of one's self for these things, but that our sufficiency can be alone of god. these meetings also have been by far the most wearing-out part of all our work, though at the same time the most refreshing. pastoral visitation. an _unvisited_ church will sooner or later become an _unhealthy church._ pew-rents. . pew-rents are, according to james ii. - , against the mind of the lord, as, in general, the poor brother cannot have so good a seat as the rich. . a brother may gladly do something towards my support if left to his own time; but when the quarter is up, he has perhaps other expenses, and i do not know whether he pays his money grudgingly, and of necessity, or cheerfully; but god loveth a cheerful giver. _i knew it to be a fact_ that sometimes it had not been convenient to individuals to pay the money, when it had been asked for by the brethren who collected it. . though the lord had been pleased to give me grace to be faithful, so that i had been enabled not to keep back the truth, when he had shown it to me; still i felt that the pew-rents were a snare to the servant of christ. it was a temptation to me, at least for a few minutes, at the time when the lord had stirred me up to pray and search the word respecting the ordinance of baptism, because pounds of my salary was at stake if i should be baptized. state churches. all establishments, even because they are establishment, i.e., the world and the church mixed up together, not only contain in them the principles which necessarily must lead to departure from the word of god; but also, as long as they remain establishments, entirely preclude the acting throughout according to the holy scriptures. faith. anxiety. where faith begins, anxiety ends; where anxiety begins, faith ends. ponder these words of the lord jesus, "only believe." as long as we are able to trust in god, holding fast in heart, that he is able and willing to help those who rest on the lord jesus for salvation, in all matters which are for his glory and their good, the heart remains calm and peaceful. it is only when we _practically_ let go faith in his power or his love, that we lose our peace and become troubled. this very day i am in great trial in connection with the work in which i am engaged; yet my soul was calmed and quieted by the remembrance of god's power and love; and i said to myself this morning: "as david encouraged himself in jehovah his god, when he returned to ziklag, so will i encourage myself in god;" and the result was peace of soul.... it is the very time for _faith_ to work, when _sight_ ceases. the greater the difficulties, the easier for _faith._ as long as there remain certain natural prospects, faith does not get on even as easily (if i may say so), as when all natural prospects fail. dependence on god. observe two things! we acted _for god_ in delaying the public meetings and the publishing of the report; but _god's way leads always into trial, so far as sight and sense are concerned. nature_ always will be tried _in god's ways._ the lord was saying by this poverty, "i will now see whether you truly lean upon me, and whether you truly look to me." of all the seasons that i had ever passed through since i had been living in this way, _up to that time,_ i never knew any period in which my faith was tried so sharply, as during the four months from dec. , , to april , . but observe further: we might even now have altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publishing the report; for _no one knew our determination, at this time,_ concerning the point. nay, on the contrary, we knew with what delight very many children of god were looking forward to receive further accounts. but the lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion, at which we had arrived under his guidance. gift and grace of faith. it pleased the lord, i think, to give me in some cases something like the gift (not grace) of faith, so that unconditionally i could ask and look for an answer. the difference between the _gift_ and the _grace_ of faith seems to me this. according to the _gift of faith_ i am able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, the not doing of which, or the not believing of which would not be sin; according to the _grace of faith_ i am able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, respecting which i have the word of god as the ground to rest upon, and, therefore, the not doing it, or the not believing it _would be sin._ for instance, _the gift of faith_ would be needed, to believe that a sick person should be restored again, though _there is no human probability: for there is no promise to that effect; the grace of faith_ is needed to believe that the lord will give me the necessaries of life, if i first seek the kingdom of god and his righteousness: for _there is a promise to that effect._ (matt. vi. .) self-will. the natural mind is ever prone _to reason, _when we ought _to believe;_ to be _at work,_ when we ought to be _quiet;_ to go our own way, when we ought steadily to walk on in god's ways, however trying to nature. trials of faith. the lord gives faith, for the very purpose of trying it for the glory of his own name, and for the good of him who has it; and, by the very trial of our faith, we not only obtain blessing to our own souls, by becoming the better acquainted with god, if we hold fast our confidence in him, but our faith is also, by the exercise, strengthened: and so it comes, that, if we walk with god in any measure of uprightness of heart, the trials of faith will be greater and greater. it is for the church's benefit that we are put in these straits; and if, therefore, in the hour of need, we were to take goods on credit, the first and primary object of the work would be completely frustrated, and no heart would be further strengthened to trust in god, nor would there be any longer that manifestation of the special and particular providence of god, which has hitherto been so abundantly shown through this work, even in the eyes of unbelievers, whereby they have been led to see _that there is, after all, reality in the things of god,_ and many, through these printed accounts, have been truly converted. for these reasons, then, we consider it our precious privilege, as heretofore, to continue to wait upon the lord only, instead of taking goods on credit, or borrowing money from some kind friends, when we are in need. nay, we purpose, as god shall give us grace, to look to him only, though morning after morning we should have nothing in hand for the work--yea, though from meal to meal we should have to look to him; being fully assured that he who is now ( ) in the tenth year feeding these many orphans, and who has never suffered them to want, and that he who is now ( ) in the twelfth year carrying on the other parts of the work, without any branch of it having had to be stopped for want of means, will do so for the future also. and here i do desire in the deep consciousness of my natural helplessness and dependence upon the lord to confess that through the grace of god my soul has been in peace, though day after day we have had to wait for our daily provisions upon the lord; yea, though even from meal to meal we have been required to do this. giving. asking gifts, etc. it is not enough to obtain means for the work of god, but that these means should be obtained in god's way. to ask unbelievers for means is _not_ god's way; to _press_ even believers to give, is _not_ god's way; but the _duty_ and the _privilege_ of being allowed to contribute to the work of god should be pointed out, and this should be followed up with earnest prayer, believing prayer, and will result in the desired end. claims of god. it is true, the gospel demands our _all;_ but i fear that, in the general claim on _all,_ we have shortened the claim on _everything._ we are not under law. true; but that is not to make our obedience less complete, or our giving less bountiful: rather, is it not, that after all claims of law are settled, the new nature finds its joy in doing more than the law requires? let us abound in the work of the lord more and more. giving in adversity. at the end of the last century a very godly and liberal merchant in london was one day called on by a gentleman, to ask him for some money for a charitable object. the gentleman expected very little, having just heard that the merchant had sustained heavy loss from the wreck of some of his ships. contrary, however, to expectation, he received about ten times as much as he had expected for his object. he was unable to refrain from expressing his surprise to the merchant, told him what he had heard, how he feared he should scarcely have received anything, and asked whether after all there was not a mistake about the shipwreck of the vessels. the merchant replied, it is quite true, i have sustained heavy loss, by these vessels being wrecked, but that is the very reason, why i give you so much; for i must make better use than ever of my stewardship, lest it should be entirely taken from me. how have we to act if prosperity in our business, our trade, our profession, etc., should suddenly cease, notwithstanding our having given a considerable proportion of our means for the lord's work? my reply is this: "in the day of adversity _consider."_ it is the will of god that we should ponder our ways; that we should see whether there is any particular reason, why god has allowed this to befall us. in doing so, we may find, that we have too much looked on our prosperity as a matter of course, and have not sufficiently owned and recognized _practically_ the hand of god in our success. or it may be, while the lord has been pleased to prosper us, we have spent too much on ourselves, and may have thus, though unintentionally, _abused_ the blessing of god. i do not mean by this remark to bring any children of god into bondage, so that, with a scrupulous conscience, they should look at every penny, which they spend on themselves; this is not the will of god concerning us; and yet, on the other hand, there is verily such a thing as propriety or impropriety in our dress, our furniture, our table, our house, our establishment, and in the yearly amount we spend on ourselves and family. giving and hoarding. i have every reason to believe, that, had i begun to lay up, the lord would have stopped the supplies, and thus, the ability of doing so was only _apparent._ let no one profess to trust in god, and yet lay up for future wants, otherwise the lord will first send him to the hoard he has amassed, before he can answer the prayer for more. "there is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth _more than is meet,_ but it tendeth to poverty." (prov. xi. .) notice here the word _"more than is meet;"_ it is not said, withholdeth all; but "more than is meet" viz., while he gives, it is so little, in comparison with what it might be, and ought to be, that it tendeth to poverty. motives to giving. believers should seek more and more to enter into the grace and love of god, in giving his only-begotten son, and into the grace and love of the lord jesus, in giving himself in our room, in order that, constrained by love and gratitude, they may be increasingly led to surrender their bodily and mental strength, their time, gifts, talents, property, position in life, rank, and all they have and are to the lord. by this i do not mean that they should give up their business, trade, or profession, and become preachers; nor do i mean that they should take all their money and give it to the first beggar who asks for it; but that they should hold all they have and are, for the lord, not as owners, but as stewards, and be willing, _at his bidding,_ to use for him part or all they have. however short the believer may fall, nothing less than this should be his aim. stewardship. it is the lord's order, that in whatever way he is pleased to make us his stewards, whether as to temporal or spiritual things, if we are indeed acting as _stewards_ and not as _owners,_ he will make us stewards over _more._ even in this life, and as to temporal things, the lord is pleased to repay those who act for him as stewards, and who contribute to his work or to the poor, as he may be pleased to prosper them? but how much greater is the _spiritual_ blessing we receive, both in this life and in the world to come, if constrained by the love of christ, we act as god's stewards, respecting that with which he is pleased to intrust us! systematic giving. only _fix even the smallest amount_ you purpose to give of your income, and give this regularly; and as god is pleased to increase your light and grace, and is pleased to prosper you more, so give more. if you neglect an _habitual giving, a regular giving, a giving from principle and upon scriptural ground,_ and leave it only to feeling and impulse, or particular arousing circumstances, you will certainly be a loser. a merchant in the united states said in answer to inquiries relative to his mode of giving, "in consecrating my life anew to god, aware of the ensnaring influence of riches and the necessity of deciding on a plan of charity, before wealth should bias my judgment, i adopted the following system: "i decided to balance my accounts as nearly as i could every month, reserving such portion of profits as might appear adequate to cover probable losses, and to lay aside, by entry on a benevolent account, one tenth of the remaining profits, great or small, as a fund for benevolent expenditure, supporting myself and family on the remaining nine tenths. i further determined that if at any time my net profits, that is profits from which clerk-hire and store expenses had been deducted, should exceed five hundred dollars in a month, i would give per cent.; if over seven hundred dollars, per cent.; if over nine hundred dollars, per cent.; if over thirteen hundred dollars, per cent.--thus increasing the proportion of the whole as god should prosper me, until at fifteen hundred dollars i should give per cent, or dollars a month. as capital was of the utmost importance to my success in business, i decided not to increase the foregoing scale until i had acquired a certain capital, after which i would give one quarter of all net profits, great or small, and, on the acquisition of another certain amount of capital, i decided to give half, and, on acquiring what i determined would be a full sufficiency of capital, then to give the whole of my net profits. "it is now several years since i adopted this plan, and under it i have acquired a handsome capital, and have been prospered beyond my most sanguine expectations. although constantly giving, i have never yet touched the bottom of my fund, and have repeatedly been surprised to find what large drafts it would bear. true, during some months, i have encountered a salutary trial of faith, when this rule has led me to lay by the tenth while the remainder proved inadequate to my support; but the tide has soon turned, and with gratitude i have recognized a heavenly hand more than making good all past deficiencies." the following deeply interesting particulars are recorded in the memoir of mr. cobb, a boston merchant. at the age of twenty-three, mr. cobb drew up and subscribed the following remarkable document: "by the grace of god i will never be worth more than , dollars, "by the grace of god i will give one fourth of the net profits of my business to charitable and religious uses. "if i am ever worth , dollars i will give one half of my net profits; and if ever i am worth , dollars, i will give three fourths; and the whole after , dollars. so help me god, or give to a more faithful steward, and set me aside." "to this covenant," says his memoir "he adhered with conscientious fidelity. he distributed the profits of his business with an increasing ratio, from year to year, till he reached the point which he had fixed as a limit to his property, and then gave to the cause of god all the money which he earned. at one time, finding that his property had increased beyond , dollars, he at once devoted the surplus , dollars. "on his death-bed he said, 'by the grace of god--_nothing else_--by the grace of god i have been enabled, under the influence of these resolutions to give away more than , dollars.' how good the lord has been to me!" mr. cobb was also an active, humble, and devoted christian, seeking the prosperity of feeble churches; labouring to promote the benevolent institutions of the day; punctual in his attendance at prayer meetings, and anxious to aid the inquiring sinner; watchful for the eternal interests of those under his charge; mild and amiable in his deportment; and, in the general tenor of his life and character, an example of consistent piety. his last sickness and death were peaceful, yea triumphant. "it is a glorious thing," said he, "to die. i have been active and busy in the world--i have enjoyed as much as any one--god has prospered me--i have everything to bind me here--i am happy in my family--i have property enough--but how small and mean does this world appear on a sick-bed! nothing can equal my enjoyment in the near view of heaven. _my hope in christ_ is worth infinitely more than all other things. the blood of christ--the blood of christ--none but christ! oh! how thankful i feel that god has provided a way that i, sinful as i am, may look forward with joy to another world, through his dear son." god. approval of god. _in the whole work we desire to stand with god, and not to depend upon the favourable or unfavourable judgment of the multitude._ chastisements of god. _our heavenly father never takes any earthly thing from his children except he means to give them something better instead._ the lord, in his very love and faithfulness, will not, and cannot, let us go on in backsliding, but he will visit us with stripes, to bring us back to himself! the lord never lays more on us, in the way of chastisement, than our state of heart makes needful; so that whilst he smites with the one hand, he supports with the other. if, as believers in the lord jesus, we see that our heavenly father, on account of wrong steps, or a wrong state of heart, is dealing with us in the way of discipline or correction, we have to be grateful for it; for he is acting thus towards us according to that selfsame love, which led him not to spare his only begotten son, but to deliver him up for us; and our gratitude to him is to be expressed in words, and even by deeds. we have to guard against _practically_ despising the chastening of the lord, though we may not do so in word, and against _fainting_ under chastisement: since all is intended for blessing to us. faithfulness of god. perhaps you have said in your heart: "how would it be, suppose the funds of the orphans were reduced to nothing, and those who are engaged in the work had nothing of their own to give, and a meal-time were to come, and you had no food for the children." thus indeed it may be, for our hearts are desperately wicked. if ever we should be so left to ourselves, as that either we depend no more upon the living god, or that "we regard iniquity in our hearts," then such a state of things, we have reason to believe, would occur. but so long as we shall be enabled to trust in the living god, and so long as, though falling short in every way of what we might be, and ought to be, we are at least kept from living in sin, such a state of things cannot occur. the lord, to show his continued care over us, raises up new helpers. they that trust in the lord shall never be confounded! some who helped for a while may fall asleep in jesus; others may grow cold in the service of the lord; others may be as desirous as ever to help, but have no longer the means; others may have both a willing heart to help, and have also the means, but may see it the lord's will to lay them out in another way;--and thus, from one cause or another, were we to lean upon man, we should surely be confounded; but, in leaning upon the living god alone, we are beyond _disappointment, and_ beyond _being forsaken because of death,_ or _want of means,_ or _want of love,_ or _because of the claims of other work._ how precious to have learned in any measure to stand with god alone in the world, and yet to be happy, and to know that surely no good thing shall be withheld from us whilst we walk uprightly! partnership with god. a brother, who is in about the same state in which he was eight years ago, has very little enjoyment, and makes no progress in the things of god. the reason is that, against his conscience, he remains in a calling, which is opposed to the profession of a believer. we are exhorted in scripture to abide in our calling; but only if we can abide in it _"with god."_ ( cor. vii. .) power of god. there is a worldly proverb, dear christian reader, with which we are all familiar, it is this, "where there is a will there is a way." if this is the proverb of those who know not god, how much more should believers in the lord jesus, who have power with god, say: "where there is a will there is a way." trust in god. only let it be trust _in god,_ not in _man,_ not in _circumstances,_ not _in any of your own exertions,_ but real trust in god, and you will be helped in your various necessities.... not in circumstances, not in natural prospects, not in former donors, _but solely in god._ this is just that which brings the blessing. if we _say_ we trust in him, but in reality do not, then god, taking us at our word, lets us see that we do not really confide in him; and hence failure arises. on the other hand, if our trust in the lord is real, help will surely come, "according unto thy faith be it unto thee." it is a source of deep sorrow to me, that, notwithstanding my having so many times before referred to this point, thereby to encourage believers in the lord jesus, to roll all their cares upon god, and to trust in him at all times, it is yet, by so many, put down to mere natural causes, that i am helped; as if the living god were no more the living god, and as if in former ages answers to prayers might have been expected, but that in the nineteenth century they must not be looked for. will of god. how important it is to ascertain the will of god, before we undertake anything, because we are then not only blessed in our own souls, but also the work of our hands will prosper. just in as many points as we are acting according to the mind of god, in so many are we blessed and made a blessing. our manner of living is according to the mind of the lord, for he delights in seeing his children thus come to him (matt. vi); and therefore, though i am weak and erring in many points, yet he blesses me in this particular. first of all, to see well to it, that the work in which he desires to be engaged is _god's work;_ secondly, that _he_ is the person to be engaged in this work; thirdly, that _god's time_ is come, when he should do this work; and then to be assured, that, if he seeks god's help in his own appointed way, he will not fail him. we have ever found it thus, and expect to find it thus, on the ground of the promises of god, to the end of our course. . be slow to take new steps in the lord's service, or in your business, or in your families. weigh everything well; weigh all in the light of the holy scriptures, and in the fear of god. . seek to have no will of your own, in order to ascertain the mind of god, regarding any steps you propose to take, so that you can honestly say, you are willing to do the will of god, if he will only please to instruct you. . but when you have found out what the will of god is, seek for his help, and seek it earnestly, perseveringly, patiently, believingly, and expectingly: and you will surely, in his own time and way, obtain it. we have not to rush forward in self-will and say, i will do the work, and i will trust the lord for means, this cannot be real trust, it is the counterfeit of faith, it is presumption; and though god, in great pity and mercy, may even help us finally out of debt; yet does this, on no account, prove that we were right in going forward before his time was come. we ought, rather, under such circumstances to say to ourselves: am i indeed doing the _work of god?_ and if so, _i_ may not be the person to do it; or if i am the person, _his time_ may not yet be come for me to go forward; it may be his good pleasure to exercise my faith and patience. i ought, therefore, quietly to wait his time; for when it is come, god will help. acting on this principle brings blessing. to ascertain the lord's will we ought to use scriptural means. prayer, the word of god, and his spirit should be united together. we should go to the lord repeatedly in prayer, and ask him to teach us by his spirit through his word. i say by his spirit through his word. for if we should think that his spirit led us to do so and so, because certain facts are so and so, and yet his word is opposed to the step which we are going to take, we should be deceiving ourselves.... no situation, no business will be given to me _by god,_ in which i have not time enough to care about my soul. therefore, however outward circumstances may appear, it can only be considered as permitted of god, to prove the genuineness of my love, faith, and obedience, but by no means as the leading of his providence to induce me to act contrary to his revealed will. marriage. to enter upon the marriage union is one of the most deeply important events of life. it cannot be too prayerfully treated. our happiness, our usefulness, our living for god or for ourselves after wards, are often most intimately connected with our choice. therefore, in the most prayerful manner, this choice should be made. neither beauty, nor age, nor money, nor mental powers, should be that which prompts the decision; but st, much waiting upon god for guidance should be used; nd, a hearty purpose to be willing to be guided by him should be aimed after; rd, true godliness without a shadow of doubt, should be the first and absolutely needful qualification, to a christian, with regard to a companion for life. in addition to this, however, it ought to be, at the same time, calmly and patiently weighed, whether, in other respects, there is a suitableness. for instance, for an educated man to choose an entirely uneducated woman, is unwise; for however much on his part love might be willing to cover the defect, it will work very unhappily with regard to the children. prayer. answers to prayer. i myself have for twenty-nine years been waiting for an answer to prayer concerning a certain spiritual blessing. day by day have i been enabled to continue in prayer for this blessing. at home and abroad, in this country and in foreign lands, in health and in sickness, however much occupied, i have been enabled, day by day, by god's help, to bring this matter before him; and still i have not the full answer yet. nevertheless, i look for it. i expect it confidently. the very fact that day after day, and year after year, for twenty-nine years, the lord has enabled me to continue, patiently, believingly, to wait on him for the blessing, still further encourages me to wait on; and so fully am i assured that god hears me about this matter, that i have often been enabled to praise him beforehand for the full answer, which i shall ultimately receive to my prayers on this subject. thus, you see, dear reader, that while i have hundreds, yea, thousands of answers, year by year, i have also, like yourself and other believers, the trial of faith concerning certain matters. anxiety avoided by prayer. though all believers in the lord jesus are not called upon to establish orphan houses, schools for poor children, etc., and trust in god for means; yet all believers, according to the will of god concerning them in christ jesus, may cast, and ought to cast, all their care upon him who careth for them, and need not be anxiously concerned about anything, as is plainly to be seen from peter v. ; philippians iv. ; matthew vi. - . my lord is not limited; he can again supply; he knows that this present case has been sent to me; and thus, this way of living, so far from _leading to anxiety,_ as it regards possible future want, is rather the means of _keeping from it_.... this way of living has often been the means of reviving the work of grace in my heart, when i have been getting cold; and it also has been the means of bringing me back again to the lord, after i have been backsliding. for it will not do,--it is not possible, to live in sin, and at the same time, by communion with god, to draw down from heaven everything one needs for the life that now is.... answer to prayer, obtained in this way, has been the means of quickening my soul, and filling me with much joy. i met at a brother's house with several believers, when a sister said that she had often thought about the care and burden i must have on my mind, as it regards obtaining the necessary supplies for so many persons. as this may not be a solitary instance, i would state that, by the grace of god, this is no cause of anxiety to me. the children i have years ago cast upon the lord. the whole work is his, and it becomes me to be _without carefulness._ in whatever points i am lacking, in this point i am able, by the grace of god, to roll the burden upon my heavenly father. though now (july ) for about seven years our funds have been so exhausted, that it has been comparatively a _rare_ case that there have been means in hand to meet the necessities of the orphans for _three days_ together; yet have i been only once tried in spirit, and that was on sept. , , when for the first time the lord seemed not to regard our prayer. but when he did send help at that time, and i saw that it was only for the trial of our faith, and not because he had forsaken the work that we were brought so low, my soul was so strengthened and encouraged, that i have not only not been allowed to distrust the lord since that time, but i have not even been cast down when in the deepest poverty. nevertheless, in this respect also am i now, as much as ever, dependent on the lord; and i earnestly beseech for myself and my fellow-labourers the prayers of all those, to whom the glory of god is dear. how great would be the dishonour to the name of god, if we, who have so publicly made our boast in him, should so fall as to act in these very points as the world does! help us, then, brethren, with your prayers, that we may trust in god to the end. we can expect nothing but that our faith will yet be tried, and it may be more than ever; and we shall fall, if the lord does not uphold us. borrowing and praying. as regards borrowing money, i have considered that there is no ground to go away from the door of the lord to that of a believer, so long as he is willing to supply our need. communion with god in prayer. how truly precious it is that every one who rests alone upon the lord jesus for salvation, has in the living god a father, to whom he may fully unbosom himself concerning the most minute affairs of his life, and concerning everything that lies upon his heart! dear reader, do you know the living god? is he, in jesus, your father? be assured that christianity is something more than forms and creeds and ceremonies: there is life, and power, and reality, in our holy faith. if you never yet have known this, then come and taste for yourself. i beseech you affectionately to meditate and pray over the following verses: john iii. ; rom. x. , ; acts x. ; john v. . conditions of prayer. go for yourself, with all your temporal and spiritual wants, to the lord. bring also the necessities of your friends and relatives to the lord. only make the trial, and you will perceive how able and willing he is to help you. should you, however, not at once obtain answers to your prayers, be not discouraged; but continue patiently, believingly, perseveringly to wait upon god: and as assuredly as that which you ask would be for your real good, and therefore for the honour of the lord; and as assuredly as you ask it solely on the ground of the worthiness of our lord jesus, so assuredly you will at last obtain the blessing. i myself have had to wait upon god concerning certain matters for years, before i obtained answers to my prayers; but at last they came. at this very time, i have still to renew my requests daily before god, respecting a certain blessing for which i have besought him for eleven years and a half, and which i have as yet obtained only in part, but concerning which i have no doubt that the full blessing will be granted in the end.... the great point is that we ask only for that which it would be for the glory of god to give to us; for that, and that alone, can be for our real good. but it is not enough that the thing for which we ask god be for his honour and glory, but we must secondly ask it in the name of the lord jesus, viz., expect it only on the ground of his merits and worthiness. thirdly, we should believe that god is able and willing to give us what we ask him for. fourthly, we should continue in prayer till the blessing is granted; without fixing to god a time when, or the circumstances under which, he should give the answer. patience should be in exercise, in connection with our prayer. fifthly, we should, at the same time, look out for and expect an answer till it comes. if we pray in this way, we shall not only have answers, thousands of answers to our prayers; but our own souls will be greatly refreshed and invigorated in connection with these answers. if the obtaining of your requests were not for your real good, or were not tending to the honour of god, you might pray for a long time, without obtaining what you desire. the glory of god should be always before the children of god, in what they desire at his hands; and their own spiritual profit, being so intimately connected with the honour of god, should never be lost sight of, in their petitions. but now, suppose we are believers in the lord jesus, and make our requests unto god, depending alone on the lord jesus as the ground of having them granted; suppose, also, that, so far as we are able honestly and uprightly to judge, the obtaining of our requests would be for our real spiritual good and for the honour of god; we yet need, lastly, to _continue_ in prayer, until the blessing is granted unto us. it is not enough to begin to pray, nor to pray aright; nor is it enough to continue _for a time_ to pray; but we must patiently, believingly continue in prayer, until we obtain an answer; and further, we have not only to _continue_ in prayer unto the end, but we have also _to believe_ that god does hear us, and will answer our prayers. most frequently we fail in not continuing in prayer until the blessing is obtained and _in not expecting_ the blessing. faith, prayer, and the word of god. _prayer and faith, the universal remedies against every want and every difficulty;_ and the nourishment of prayer and faith, god's holy word, helped me over all the difficulties.--i never remember, in all my christian course, a period now (in march ) of sixty-nine years and four months, that i ever sincerely and patiently sought to know the will of god by _the teaching of the holy ghost,_ through the instrumentality of the _word of god,_ but i have been always directed rightly. but if _honesty of heart_ and _uprightness before god_ were lacking, or if i did not _patiently_ wait upon god for instruction, or if i preferred _the counsel of my fellow men_ to the declarations of _the word of the living god,_ i made great mistakes. secret prayer. let none expect to have the mastery over his inward corruption in any degree, without going in his weakness again and again to the lord for strength. nor will prayer with others, or conversing with the brethren, make up for secret prayer. snares of satan as to prayer. it is a common temptation of satan to make us give up the reading of the word and prayer when our enjoyment is gone; as if it were of no use to read the scriptures when we do not enjoy them, and as if it were of no use to pray when we have no spirit of prayer; whilst the truth is, in order to enjoy the word, we ought to continue to read it, and the way to obtain a spirit of prayer is to continue praying; for the less we read the word of god, the less we desire to read it, and the less we pray, the less we desire to pray. work and prayer. often the work of the lord itself may be a temptation to keep us from that communion with him which is so essential to the benefit of our own souls.... let none think that public prayer will make up for closet communion. here is the great secret of success. work with all your might; but trust not in the least in your work. pray with all your might for the blessing of god; but work, at the same time, with all diligence, with all patience, with all perseverance. pray then, and work. work and pray. and still again pray, and then work. and so on all the days of your life. the result will surely be, abundant blessing. whether you _see_ much fruit or little fruit, such kind of service will be blessed.... speak also for the lord, as if everything depended on your exertions; yet trust not the least in your exertions, but in the lord, who alone can cause your efforts to be made effectual, to the benefit of your fellow men or fellow believers. remember, also, that god delights to bestow blessing, but, generally, as the result of earnest, believing prayer. preaching. it came immediately to my mind that such sort of preaching might do for illiterate country people, but that it would never do before a well-educated assembly in town. i thought, the truth ought to be preached at all hazards, but it ought to be given in a different form, suited to the hearers. thus i remained unsettled in my mind as it regards the mode of preaching; and it is not surprising that i did not then see the truth concerning this matter, for i did not understand the work of the spirit, and therefore saw not the powerlessness of human eloquence. further, i did not keep in mind that if the most illiterate persons in the congregation can comprehend the discourse, the most educated will understand it too; but that the reverse does not hold true. restitution. restitution is the revealed will of god. if it is omitted, while we have it in our power to make it, guilt remains on the conscience, and spiritual progress is hindered. even though it should be connected with difficulty, self-denial, and great loss, it is to be attended to. should the persons who have been defrauded be dead, their heirs are to be found out, if this can be done, and restitution is to be made to them. but there may be cases when this cannot be done, and then _only_ the money should be given to the lord for his work or his poor. one word more. sometimes the guilty person may not have grace enough, if the rightful owners are living, to make known to them the sin; under such circumstances, though not the best and most scriptural way, rather than have guilt remaining on the conscience, it is better to make restitution anonymously than not at all. about fifty years ago, i knew a man under concern about his soul, who had defrauded his master of two sacks of flour, and who was urged by me to confess this sin to his late employer, and to make restitution. he would not do it, however, and the result was that for twenty years he never obtained real peace of soul till the thing was done. rewards. christians do not practically remember that while we are saved by grace, altogether by grace, so that in the matter of salvation works are altogether excluded; yet that so far as the rewards of grace are concerned, in the world to come, there is an intimate connection between the life of the christian here and the enjoyment and the glory in the day of christ's appearing. sin and salvation. rumblings last our whole life. jesus came not to save _painted_ but _real_ sinners; but he _has_ saved us, and will surely make it manifest. spirit of god. at stuttgart, the dear brethren had been entirely uninstructed about the truths relating to the power and presence of the holy ghost in the church of god, and to our ministering one to another as fellow members in the body of christ; and i had known enough of painful consequences when brethren began to meet professedly in dependence upon the holy spirit without knowing what was meant by it, and thus meetings had become opportunities _for unprofitable talking rather than for godly edifying...._ all these matters ought to be left to the ordering of the holy ghost, and that if it had been truly good for them, the lord would have not only led me to speak _at that time,_ but also on _the very subject_ on which they desired that i should speak to them. truth--proportion of faith. whatever parts of truth are made too much of, though they were even the most precious truths connected with our being risen in christ, or our heavenly calling, or prophecy, sooner or later those who lay an _undue_ stress upon _these parts_ of truth, and thus make them too prominent, will be losers in their own souls, and, if they be teachers, they will injure those whom they teach. universalism. in reference to universal salvation, i found that they had been led into this error because ( ) they did not see the difference between the earthly calling of the jews, and the heavenly calling of the believers in the lord jesus in the present dispensation, and therefore they said that, because the words "everlasting," etc., are applied to "the possession of the land of canaan" and the "priesthood of aaron," therefore, the punishment of the wicked cannot be without end, seeing that the possession of canaan and the priesthood of aaron are not without end. my endeavour, therefore, was to show the brethren the difference between the _earthly_ calling of israel and our _heavenly_ one, and to prove from scripture that, whenever the word "everlasting" is used with reference to things purely not of the earth, but beyond time, it denotes a period without end. ( ) they had laid exceeding great stress upon a few passages where, in luther's translation of the german bible, the word hell occurs, and where it ought to have been translated either "hades" in some passages, or "grave" in others, and where they saw a _deliverance out of hell,_ and a _being brought up out of hell,_ instead of _"out of the grave."_ word of god. _the word of god is our only standard, and the holy spirit our only teacher._ besides the holy scriptures, which should be always the book, the chief book to us, not merely in theory, but also in practice, such like books seem to me the most useful for the growth of the inner man. yet one has to be cautious in the choice, and to guard against reading too much. work for god. when he orders something to be done for the glory of his name, he is both able and willing to find the needed individuals for the work and the means required. thus, when the tabernacle in the wilderness was to be erected, he not only fitted men for the work, but he also touched the hearts of the israelites to bring the necessary materials and gold, silver, and precious stones; and all these things were not only brought, but in such abundance that a proclamation had to be made in the camp, that no more articles should be brought, because there were more than enough. and again, when god for the praise of his name would have the temple to be built by solomon, he provided such an amount of gold, silver, precious stones, brass, iron, etc., for it, that all the palaces or temples which have been built since have been most insignificant in comparison. printed in the united states of america a narrative of some of the lord's dealings with george mÜller written by himself second part preface to the first edition of the second part. through grace i am, in some measure, conscious of my many weaknesses and deficiencies; but, with all this, i know that i am a member of the body of christ, and that, as such, i have a place of service in the body. the realization of this has laid upon me the responsibility of serving the church in the particular way for which the lord has fitted me, and this has led me to write this second little volume, if by any means those of my fellow-saints, who have not yet learned the importance and preciousness of dealing with god himself under all circumstances, may be helped in learning this lesson. nor did i think that the first part of this narrative rendered the second part needless, because that contains more especially the lord's dealings with me as an individual, whilst this gives, more particularly, an account of the remarkable way in which the lord has helped me in reference to his work in my hands. for this second part carries on the account of the orphan-houses, etc., which are under my care, and contains the substance of the reports previously published, so that any one who wishes to have the account from the beginning up to the end of last year, may be able to obtain it. this latter point alone made it needful for me to think about publishing this second part, as of the reports for and , which still almost daily are inquired after, there are only a few copies left, though , of the one and , of the other were published and of the report for there are also only about , out of , , remaining. the being thus able to put the whole account of the work into the hands of an inquiring individual, affords such a one a fairer opportunity of seeing the working of those scriptural principles on which the institution is established. and, lastly, the lord's continued blessing upon the first part of the narrative and the reports, both to believers and unbelievers, has induced me to publish this second volume, which i now affectionately commend to the prayers of the saints, requesting at the same time their prayers for myself. george muller. bristol, june , . second part in publishing the continuation of the narrative of some of the lord's dealings with me, i have thought it well to give it in the same form in which the larger portion of the former part is written. i therefore proceed to give extracts from my journal making here and there such remarks as occasion may seem to require. the first, part of the narrative was carried on to the beginning of july , from which period the continuation commences. july , . four trials came upon me this morning, without my having previously had opportunity for secret prayer. i had been prevented from rising early, on account of having to spend part of the night in a sick chamber; but this circumstance shows, how important it is to rise early, when we are able, in order that we may be prepared, by communion with the lord, to meet the trials of the day. aug. . today the first copies of my narrative arrived, and i had, once more, some conflict of mind whether, after all, i had not been mistaken in this matter. a sort of trembling came over me, and a wish to be able to retrace the step. judging, however, from the most searching self-examination, through which i had caused my heart to pass again and again, as to my motives, before i began writing, and whilst i was writing; and judging, moreover, from the earnestness in prayer with which i had sought to ascertain the mind of god in the matter, and from the subsequent full assurance which i had had of its being according to his will, that in this way i should serve the church;--i was almost immediately led to consider this uncomfortable and trying feeling as a temptation, and i therefore went to the box, opened it, brought out some copies, and soon after gave away one, so that the step could not be retraced. [this was the last temptation or struggle i have had of that kind; for, though, very many times since, i have had abundant reason for praising the lord that he put such an honour upon me, in allowing me to speak well of his name in so public a manner, i have never since, even for one minute, been allowed to regret publishing the narrative; and almost daily have i been more and more confirmed in the conviction, that the giving such like publications to the church, making known the lord's dealings with me, is one part of my service towards the saints.] aug. . today two more children were received into the infant orphan-house, which makes up our full number, in the girls' and infant-orphan-houses. aug. . when brother craik and i began to labour in bristol, and consequently some believers united with us in fellowship, assembling together at bethesda, we began meeting together on the basis of the written word only, without having any church rules whatever. from the commencement it was understood, that, as the lord should help us, we would try everything by the word of god, and introduce and hold fast that only which could be proved by scripture. when we came to this determination on aug. , , it was indeed in weakness, but it was in uprightness of heart.--on account of this it was, that, as we ourselves were not fully settled as to whether those only who had been baptized after they had believed, or whether all who believed in the lord jesus, irrespective of baptism, should be received into fellowship nothing was determined about this point. we felt free to break bread and be in communion with those who were not baptized, and therefore could with a good conscience labour at gideon, where the greater part of the saints, at least at first, were unbaptized; but, at the same time, we had a secret wish that none but believers who were baptized might be united with us at bethesda. our reason for this was, that we had witnessed in devonshire much painful disunion, resulting, as we thought, from baptized and unbaptized believers being in fellowship. without, then, making it a rule, that bethesda church was to be one of close communion, we nevertheless took care that those who applied for fellowship should be instructed about baptism. for many months there occurred no difficulty, as none applied for communion but such as had either been already baptized, or wished to be, or who became convinced of the scriptural character of believers' baptism, after we had conversed with them; afterwards, however, three sisters applied for fellowship, none of whom had been baptized; nor were their views altered, after we had conversed with them. as, nevertheless, brother craik and i considered them true believers, and we ourselves were not fully convinced what was the mind of the lord in such a case, we thought it right that these sisters should be received; yet so that it might be unanimously, as all our church acts then were done; but we knew by that time, that there were several in fellowship with us, who could not conscientiously receive unbaptized believers. we mentioned, therefore, the names of these three sisters to the church, stating that they did not see believers' baptism to be scriptural, and that, if any brother saw, on that account, a reason why they should not be received, he should let us know. the result was, that several objected, and two or three meetings were held, at which we heard the objections of the brethren, and sought for ourselves to obtain acquaintance with the mind of god on the point. whilst several days thus passed away before the matter was decided, one of those three sisters came and thanked us, that we had not received her, before being baptized, for she now saw that it was only shame and the fear of man which had kept her back, and that the lord had now made her willing to be baptized. by this circumstance those brethren, who considered it scriptural that all ought to be baptized before being received into fellowship, were confirmed in their views; and as to brother craik and me, it made us, at least, still more question, whether, those brethren might not be right; and we felt therefore, that in such a state of mind we could not oppose them. the one sister, therefore, who wished to be baptized, was received into fellowship, but the two others not. our consciences were the less affected by this, because all, though not baptized, might take the lord's supper with us, at bethesda, though not be received into full fellowship; and because at gideon, where there were baptized and unbaptized believers, they might even be received into full fellowship; for we had not then clearly seen that there is no scriptural distinction between being in fellowship with individuals and breaking bread with them. thus matters stood for many months, i.e. believers were received to the breaking of bread even at bethesda, though not baptized, but they were not received to all the privileges of fellowship.--in august of i had a conversation with brother h. c. on the subject of receiving the unbaptized into communion, a subject about which, for years, my mind had been more or less exercised. this brother put the matter thus before me: either unbaptized believers come under the class of persons who walk disorderly, and, in that case, we ought to withdraw from them ( thess. iii. ); or they do not walk disorderly. if a believer be walking disorderly, we are not merely to withdraw from him at the lord's table, but our behaviour towards him ought to be decidedly different from what it would be were he not walking disorderly, on all occasions when we may have intercourse with him, or come in any way into contact with him, now this is evidently not the case in the conduct of baptized believers towards their unbaptized fellow-believers. the spirit does not suffer it to be so, but he witnesses that their not having been baptized does not necessarily imply that they are walking disorderly; and hence there may be the most precious communion between baptized and unbaptized believers. the spirit does not suffer us to refuse fellowship with them in prayer, in reading and searching the scriptures, in social and intimate intercourse, and in the lord's work; and yet this ought to be the case, were they walking disorderly.--this passage, thess. iii. , to which brother r. c. referred, was the means of showing me the mind of the lord on the subject, which is, that we ought to receive all whom christ has received (rom. xv. ), irrespective of the measure of grace or knowledge which they have attained unto.--some time after this conversation, in may , an opportunity occurred, when we (for brother craik had seen the same truth) were called upon to put into practice the light which the lord had been pleased to give us. a sister, who neither had been baptized, nor considered herself under any obligation to be baptized, applied for fellowship. we conversed with her on this as on other subjects, and proposed her for fellowship, though our conversation had not convinced her that she ought to be baptized. this led the church again to the consideration of the point. we gave our reasons, from scripture, for considering it right to receive this unbaptized sister to all the privileges of the children of god; but a considerable number, one-third perhaps, expressed conscientious difficulty in receiving her. the example of the apostles in baptizing the first believers upon a profession of faith, was especially urged, which indeed would be an insurmountable difficulty, had not the truth been mingled with error for so long a time, so that it does not prove willful disobedience, if any one in our day should refuse to be baptized after believing. the lord, however, gave us much help in pointing out the truth to the brethren, so that the number of those, who considered that only baptized believers should be in communion, decreased almost daily. at last, only fourteen brethren and sisters out of above , thought it right, this aug. , , to separate from us, after we had had much intercourse with them. [i am glad to be able to add, that, even of these , the greater part afterwards saw their error, and came back again to us, and that the receiving of all who love our lord jesus into full communion, irrespective of baptism, has never been the source of disunion among us, though more than forty-four years have passed away since.] sept. . i have been looking about for a house for the orphan boys, these last three days. every thing else has been provided. the lord has given suitable individuals to take care of the children, money, &c. in his own time he will give a house also. sept. . this morning i accompanied a sister, who had been staying a night with us, to the steamer. in answer to prayer i awoke at the right time, the fly came at half-past five, her trunk was got from the vessel in which she came yesterday, and we arrived before the steamer had left. in all these four points i felt my dependence upon the lord, and he, having put prayer into my heart, answered it in each of these four particulars. sept. . this evening we had a meeting for inquirers and applicants for fellowship. there were more than we could see within three hours; and when all strength was gone, we had to send away four. among those whom we saw was e. w., who had been kept for some time from applying for fellowship, on account of not seeing believers' baptism to be scriptural. she wished to be taught, but could not see it. she felt grieved that on that account she could not attend to the breaking of bread, which she did see to be scriptural. as soon as open communion was brought about at bethesda, she wished to offer herself for fellowship, but was twice prevented by circumstances from doing so. last wednesday evening she came to the baptizing, when once more, after the lapse of more than two years, i preached on baptism, which fully convinced her of its being scriptural, and she desires now to be baptized. her difficulty was, that she thought she had been baptized with the spirit, and therefore needed no water baptism, which now, from acts x. - , she sees to be an unscriptural objection.--though it is only one month this day since my narrative was published, i have already heard of many instances in which the lord has been pleased to bless it. this morning we received a parcel with clothes and some money for the orphans, from a sister at a distance. among the donations in money was a little legacy, amounting to s. / d. from a dear boy, the nephew of the sister who sent the things, who died in the faith. this dear child had had given to him, in his last illness, some new shillings, sixpences, and other smaller silver coins, amounting to the above-mentioned little sum. shortly before he fell asleep, he requested that this his little treasure might be sent to the orphans. this precious little legacy is the first we have had. sept. . two things were today particularly impressed upon my heart, and may the lord deepen the impression. . that i ought to seek for more retirement, though the work should apparently suffer ever so much. . that arrangements should be made, whereby i may be able to visit the brethren more, as an unvisited church will sooner or later become an unhealthy church. pastors, as fellow-labourers, are greatly needed among us. sept. , i have for a long time been too much outwardly engaged. yesterday morning i spent about three hours in the vestry of gideon, to be able to have more time for retirement. i meant to do the same in the afternoon, but before i could leave the house i was called on, and thus one person after the other came, till i had to go out. thus it has been again today. oct. . for a long time past brother craik and i have felt the importance of more pastoral visiting, and it has been one of our greatest trials, that we have been unable to give more time to it. this evening we had purposely a meeting of the two churches, at which brother craik and i spoke on; i. the importance of pastoral visiting. ii. the particular obstacles which hindered us in attending to it. iii. the question whether there was any way of removing some of the obstacles. i. as to the importance of pastoral visiting, the following points were mentioned: . watching over the saints, by means of visiting them, to prevent coldness, or to recover them from backsliding. . to counsel and advise them in family affairs, in their business, and in spiritual matters. . to keep up that loving familiar intercourse, which is so desirable between the saints and those who have the oversight of them.--these visits should be, if possible, frequent; but in our case there have been several obstacles in the way. ii. the particular obstacles in our case are: . the largeness of the number who are in communion with us. one hundred would be quite as many as we have strength to visit regularly, and as often as would be desirable; but there are nearly in fellowship with us. . the distance of the houses of the saints from our own dwellings, as many live more than two miles of. . the lord's blessing upon our labours. not one year has passed away, since we have been in bristol, without more than fifty having been added to our number, each of whom, in general, needed several times to be conversed with before being admitted into fellowship. . that brother craik and i have each of us the care of two churches. at the first sight it appears as if the work is thus divided, but the double number of meetings, &c., nearly double the work. . the mere ruling, and taking care, in general, of a large body of believers, irrespective of the other work, takes much more time, and requires much more strength, than the taking care of a small body of believers, as we, by grace, desire not to allow known sin among us. . the position which we have in the church at large brings many brethren to us who travel through bristol, who call on us, or lodge with us, and to whom, according to the lord's will, we have to give some time. . in my own case an extensive needful correspondence. . the weakness of body on the part of both of us. when the preaching is done,--when the strangers who lodge with us are gone,--when the calls at our house are over,--when the needful letters, however briefly, are written,--when the necessary church business is settled;--our minds are often so worn out, that we are glad to be quiet. . but suppose we have bodily strength remaining after the above things have been attended to, yet the frame of mind is not always so, as that one could visit. after having been particularly tried by church matters, which in so large a body does not rarely occur, or being cast down in one's own soul, one may be fit for the closet, but not for visiting the saints. . lastly, in my own case, no small part of my time is taken up by attending to the affairs of the orphan-houses, schools, the circulation of the scriptures, the aiding missionary efforts, and other work connected with the scriptural knowledge institution. iii. what is to be done under these circumstances? . in the days of the apostles there would have been more brethren to take the oversight of so large a body as we are. the lord has not laid upon us a burden which is too heavy for us; he is not a hard master. it is evident that he does not mean us even to attempt to visit all the saints as much as is absolutely needful, and much less as frequently as it would be desirable. we mention this, to prevent uncomfortable feelings on the part of the dear saints under our pastoral care, who find themselves not as much visited as they used to be when we came to bristol, when the number of them was not , and now it is about , and when in many other respects the work in our hands was not half so much, as it is now, and when we had much more bodily strength. . it is therefore evident that there are other pastors needed; not nominal pastors, but such as the lord has called, to whom he has given a pastor's heart, and pastoral gifts. . such may be raised up by the lord from our own number, or the lord may send them from elsewhere. . but in the meantime we should at least see whether there are not helpers among us. . as to the work itself, in order that time may be saved, it appears desirable that the two churches, bethesda and gideon, should be united into one, that the breaking of bread should be alternately, and that the number of weekly meetings should be reduced. oct. . a few weeks since i had rented a very large and a very cheap house for the boys' orphan-house; but as the persons who lived in that neighbourhood threatened the landlord with an action, on account of letting his house for a charitable institution, i, at once, gave up all claim. that which led me to do so, was the word of the lord; "as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." i was quite sure when i gave up the agreement, that the lord would provide other premises. on the same morning when this took place, oct. , the lord, to show his continued approbation of the work, sent l. by a sister, who is far from being rich, for the furnishing of the boys' orphan-house. now, today, the lord has given me another house for the orphan-boys, in the same street, in which the other two orphan-houses are. thus, in his own time, he has sent help in this particular also. indeed in everything, in which i have had to deal with him alone in this work, i have never been disappointed. oct. . today two young sisters were received into fellowship who have been in our sunday-school. thus we begin now to reap fruit in respect of our schools. nov. . our bible-school and missionary funds having been for some time very low, i had been led repeatedly to ask the lord for a rich supply, and mentioned several times, though with submission to his will, the sum of l. before him. however, he seemed not to regard the prayer respecting the l., but gave to us by little and little what was needed. yesterday i received a donation of l., and today one of l., and thus he has kindly given the l. by this means we are able to increase our stock of bibles, which has been much reduced of late. nov. . last night i awoke with a great weakness in my head, which kept me a good while awake. i at last got to sleep by tying a handkerchief round my head, and by thus pressing it. today, however, though weak, i was able to preach, and that with much enjoyment, especially in the evening at bethesda. nov. . i feel very weak in my head. this evening it was settled at a meeting of the two churches, assembling at bethesda and gideon chapels, that, for the reasons before given, the two churches should be henceforth united as one. nov. . my head is so weak, that i see it absolutely needful to give up the work for some time. after i had come this morning to the conclusion to leave bristol for a while for the purpose of quietness, i received an anonymous letter from ireland with l. for my own personal expenses, and thus the lord has kindly supplied me with the means for doing so.--i can work no longer, my head being in such a weak stated from continual exertion, so that i feel now comfortable in going, though scarcely any time could have been, humanly speaking, more unsuitable. the orphan-house for the boys is on the point of being opened, the labourers therefore are to be introduced into the work;�-most important church matters have been entered upon and are yet unsettled;�-but the lord knows better, and cares for his work more than i do or can. therefore i desire to leave the matter with him, and he graciously helps me to do so, and thus, in the quiet submission to his will, and the willingness to leave the work in his own hands, i have the testimony that i have not been engaged in my own work but in his. nov. . this morning i left bristol. when i left my house, i knew not what place to go to. all i knew was, that i must leave bristol. a bath coach was the first one i could get, and i took it. my intention was, not to go to brethren, as i needed perfect quietness; but i felt so uncomfortable at the hotel, on account of the worldliness of the place, that i went to see a brother, who with his aunts kindly pressed me to stay with them.--this evening has been a very trying season to me. my head has been very weak; i have greatly feared lest i should become insane; but amidst it all, through grace, my soul is quietly resting upon the lord. nov. . lord�s day. i am still staying in bath. the weakness of my head allowed me to attend but one meeting, and even that distressed my head much. nov. . i was greatly distressed this evening on account of my head. i prayed earnestly to be kept from insanity. nov. . i am rather better in my head today. nov. . i left bath, and went back to bristol, as i felt i needed more quietness than i can have in the house of any friends, being continually drawn into conversation, which my head cannot bear. nov. . today i went to weston super mare, to take lodgings for myself and family. a sister sent me this morning l., by which the lord has provided me with the means for removing my family. nov. . weston super mare. this evening my wife and child, and our servant arrived here. yesterday a sister secretly put two sovereigns in my wife�s pocket book. how kind is the lord in thus providing us with means according to our need! how kind also in having just now sent brother t. to take the work arising from the schools, orphan-houses, &c., just as brother c�r was sent two years ago, shortly before i was completely laid aside!�-today a brother sent me information, that he had ordered one hundred pairs of blankets to be sent to me, for distribution among the poor. nov. . my general health is pretty good; my head, however, is no better, but rather worse. this evening i was led, through the affliction in my head, to great irritability of temper. of late i have had afresh painfully to experience in myself two things: . that affliction in itself does not lead nearer to god. . that we may have a good deal of leisure time and yet fail in profitably improving it. often had i wished within the last months that i might have more time. now the lord has given it to me, but alas! how little of it is improved for prayer. i find it a difficult thing, whilst caring for the body, not to neglect the soul. it seems to me much easier to go on altogether regardless of the body, in the service of the lord, than to take care of the body, in the time of sickness, and not to neglect the soul, especially in an affliction like my present one, when the head allows but little reading or thinking.-�what a blessed prospect to be delivered from this wretched evil nature! i can say nothing respecting this day, and this evening in particular, but that i am a wretched man. nov. . i am now quite sure that i want more than mere quiet and change of air, even medical advice. my general health seems improved through my stay at weston, but the disease in my head is increased. i have had many distressing moments since i have been at weston, on account of fearing that my disease may be the forerunner of insanity; yet god has in mercy sustained me, and enabled me, in some small measure, notwithstanding my great sinfulness, to realize the blessing of being in christ, and therefore secure for ever. nov. . we returned to bristol. i was at peace, being able to cast myself upon the lord respecting the calamity which i feared. this evening i saw a kind physician and surgeon, who told me that the disease is either a tendency of blood to the head, or that the nerves of the head are in a disordered state. they also told me that i had not the least reason to fear insanity. how little grateful is my soul for this! nov. . i am no better. a sister sent me today l. also a pickled tongue, fowls, cakes, and beautiful grapes were sent to me. my cup, as to temporal mercies, runs over.�-one of the orphan children died while i was at weston super mare. there is reason to believe that she died in the faith. nov. . i am not any better. i have written to my father, perhaps, for the last time. all is well, all will be well, all cannot but be well; because i am in christ. how precious that now, in this my sickness, i have not to seek after the lord, but have already found him. dec. . by the mercy of god my head is somewhat relieved. my liver is in a most inactive state, which, as my kind medical attendants tell me, has created the pressure on the top of the head, and through the inactivity of the liver, the whole system having been weakened, and my mental exertions having been continued, the nerves of the head have greatly suffered in consequence.-�this evening was sent to me, anonymously, from a distance, l. for my own present necessities. the letter was only signed f. w.�-a sister, a stranger, gave to my wife l. thus the lord remembers our increased expenditure in consequence of my affliction, and sends to us accordingly. dec. . yesterday i met with the brethren for the breaking of bread. today i am not so well. every time that i meet with them, the nerves of my head are excited, and i am worse afterwards. a sister from barnstaple sent us l. l s. dec. . my head is not so well as at the end of last week. i find it difficult to be in bristol and not to exert my mind. prayer and the reading of the word i can bear better than any thing. may the lord give me grace to pray more! i see as yet scarcely a single reason, so far as i myself am concerned, why the lord should remove this affliction from me. i do not find myself more conformed to the mind of jesus by it. dec. . two years ago this day, i stated my intention of establishing an orphan-house, if god should permit. what has god wrought since! orphans are now under our care, and more we can receive. several more are daily expected. during the last twelvemonth the expenses have been about l., and the income about l. in addition to this, about l. has been expended upon the schools, the circulation of the scriptures, and in aiding missionary purposes. more than l. therefore we have needed during the past year, and our good lord has supplied all, without one single person having been asked for any thing. dec. . today the hundred pairs of blankets arrived. how kind of the lord to give us the privilege of being instrumental in providing, in this respect, for some of the poor, both among the saints and in the world! this donation came in most seasonably, as, on inquiring into the circumstances of some of the poor, most affecting cases of distress were discovered, on account of the want of blankets. may the lord give me grace to deny myself, in order to provide for the necessities of the poor! how much may be done even by a little self-denial! lord, help me!-�the blankets were of a very good quality. it is a christlike spirit in supplying the necessities of the poor, not to ask how little will do for them, but how richly may i possibly supply their need. dec. . a sister, who a short time since had given me l. for my own personal expenses, gave me another l. today. how very kind is the lord in providing so abundantly for us, and giving us far more than we need! dec. . my head is not at all better, but rather worse. my medical attendants have today changed the medicine. but however kind and skillful they are, however nourishing the food which i take, however much i seek to refrain from over-exertion, and however much i take exercise in the air:�-till thou, my great physician, thou, creator of the universe, lord jesus, dost restore me, i shall be laid aside!�-i have been working a little during the last fortnight, but only a little. dec. .-�lord�s day. this morning i saw the orphan girls, who are above seven years old, pass under my window, to go to the chapel. when i saw these dear children in their clean dresses, and their comfortable warm cloaks; and when i saw them walking orderly under the care of a sister to the chapel; i felt grateful to god that i had been made the instrument of providing for them, seeing that they are all better off, both as it regards temporal and spiritual things, than if they were at the places from whence they were taken. i felt, that, to bring about such a sight, was worth the labour not only of many days, but of many months, or years. i felt that it answered all the arguments of some of my friends who say "you do too much." dec. . this is the seventh lord�s day that i have been laid aside.�-this day i determine, by the help of god, no more to send letters in parcels, because i now clearly see that it is against the laws of the country, and it becomes me, as a disciple of jesus, in every respect to submit myself to the government, in so far as i am not called upon to do any thing contrary to the word of god. dec. . today the same brother who sent me the hundred pairs of blankets, sent me l. to purchase as many more blankets as i can satisfactorily distribute. dec. . applications for the admission of orphans become more and more numerous. almost daily fresh cases are brought before us. there are already as many applications for orphan-girls above seven years as would fill another house. there are also many more infant-orphans applied for than we can take in. truly this is a large field of labour! dec. . this is the eighth lord�s day since i have been kept from ministering in the word, nor did i think it well, on account of my head, to go to any of the meetings today. whether i am really getting better i know not, yet i hope i am. my head is yet much affected, though my liver seems somewhat more active.�-this morning i greatly dishonoured the lord by irritability, manifested towards my dear wife, and that almost immediately after i had been on my knees before god, praising him for having given me such a wife. review of the year . i. there are now children in the three orphan-houses, and nine brethren and sisters who have the care of them. ninety, therefore, daily sit down to table. lord look on the necessities of thy servant! ii. the schools require as much help as before; nay, more, particularly the sunday school, in which there are at present about children, and in the day schools about .�-lord, thy servant is a poor man; but he has trusted in thee, and made his boast in thee, before the sons of men; therefore let him not be confounded! let it not be said, all this is enthusiasm, and therefore it is come to nought. iii. my temporal supplies have been:�- . by the freewill offerings through the boxes £ s. / d. . by presents in money, from believers in and out of bristol £ s. d. . by presents in clothes, provisions, &c., which were worth to us at least £ s. d. . by money through family connexion £ s. d. . we have been living half free of rent, whereby we have saved at least £ s. d. altogether £ s. / d. i have purposely given here again, as at the close of the former years, a statement of the supplies which the lord has been pleased to send me during this year, because i delight in showing, both to the world and to the church, how kind a master i have served even as to temporal blessings, and how so plainly in my ease the lord has displayed the truth of that word "whosoever believeth on him shall not be confounded," not merely by providing the means for his work in my hands, but also by providing for the necessities of myself and family. january , . through the good hand of our god upon me, i have been brought to the beginning of an other year. may he in mercy grant that it may be spent more in his service than any previous year! may i, through the indwelling of the holy spirit, be more conformed to the image of his son, than has been the case hitherto!�-last night the brethren had a prayer meeting at gideon, after the preaching was over, and continued till half-past twelve in prayer; but i was unable to be present. jan. . during the last night thieves broke into our house, and into the school-room of gideon chapel. being stopped by a second strong door, in my house, or rather being prevented from going any further by our loving father, who did not allow the hedge which he has set round about us, at this time, to be broken through, nothing was missing, except some cold meat, which they took out of the house.�-they broke open several boxes in gideon school-room, but took nothing. they left some of the bones, the meat being cut off, in one of the boxes in gideon school-room, and hung up another in a tree in our garden. so depraved is man naturally when left to himself, that he not only steals his fellowman�s property, but also makes sport of the sin! how merciful that god has protected us! my mind was peaceful when i heard the news this morning, thanking god from my heart for preservation, and considering it as an answer to prayer, which had been many times put up to him, during these last years, respecting thieves. jan. . i feel very little better in my head, though my general health seems improved; but my kind physician says i am much better, and advises me now change of air. i am most reluctant to go, though on two former occasions when i used change of air, in august at exmouth, and in at niton in the isle of wight, the lord abundantly blessed me in doing so, both bodily and spiritually. this evening a sister who resides about fifty miles from hence, and who is therefore quite unacquainted with the medical advice given to me this morning, sent me l. for the express purpose of change of air, and wrote that she felt assured, from having been similarly afflicted, that nothing would do me so much good, humanly speaking, as quiet and change of air. how wonderfully does god work! i have thus the means of carrying into effect my physician�s advice.-�today i heard of a most remarkable case of conversion through the instrumentality of my narrative. jan. . this is the ninth lord�s day that i have been kept from ministering in the word. my head is in a distressing state, and, as far as i can judge, as bad as ever. it seems to me more and more clear that the nerves are affected. my affliction is connected with a great tendency to irritability of temper; yea, with some satanic feeling, foreign to me even naturally. o lord, mercifully keep thy servant from openly dishonouring thy name! rather take me soon home to thyself! jan. . today i went with my family to trowbridge. jan. . trowbridge. this evening i commenced reading whitfield�s life, written by mr. philip. jan. . i have already received blessings through whitfield�s life. his great success in preaching the gospel is evidently to be ascribed, instrumentally, to his great prayerfulness, and his reading the bible on his knees. i have known the importance of this for years; i have practiced it a little, but far too little. i have had more communion with god today than i have had, at least generally, for some time past. jan. . lord�s day. i have, continued reading whitfield�s life. god has again blessed it to my soul. i have spent several hours in prayer today, and read on my knees, and prayed for two hours over psalm lxiii. god has blessed my soul much today. i have been fighting together with the armies of jesus, though this is the tenth lord�s day since i have been kept from preaching, and though i have not assembled with the brethren here, on account of my head. my soul is now brought into that state, that i delight myself in the will of god, as it regards my health. yea, i can now say, from my heart, i would not have this disease removed till god, through it, has bestowed the blessing for which it was sent. he has drawn out my soul much yesterday and today. lord, continue thy goodness, and fill me with love! i long, more fully to glorify god; not so much by outward activity, as by inward conformity to the image of jesus. what hinders god, to make of one, so vile as i am, another whitfield? surely, god could bestow as much grace upon me, as he did upon him. o, my lord, draw me closer and closer to thyself, that i may run after thee!-�i desire, if god should restore me again for the ministry of the word (and this i believe he will do soon, judging from the state in which he has now brought my soul, though i have been worse in health the last eight days, than for several weeks previously), that my preaching may be more than ever the result of earnest prayer and much meditation, and that i may so walk with god, that "out of my belly may flow rivers of living water." but alas! if the grace of god prevent not, one day more, and the rich blessings, which he has bestowed upon my soul yesterday and today, will all vanish; but again, if he favours me (and oh! may he do it), i shall go from strength to strength, and i and the saints in bristol shall have abundant reason to praise god for this my illness. jan. . i have had since yesterday afternoon less suffering in my head than for the last eight days! though it is even now far from being well. i have still an inward assurance, on account of the spiritual blessings which the lord has granted to me, that through this affliction he is only purifying me for his blessed service, and that i shall be soon restored to the work.�-today, also, god has continued to me fervency of spirit, which i have now enjoyed for three days following. he has today, also, drawn out my soul into much real communion with himself, and into holy desires to be more conformed to his dear son. when god gives a spirit of prayer, how easy then to pray! nevertheless it was given to me in the use of the means, as i fell on my knees last saturday, to read his word with meditation, and to turn it into prayer. today i spent about three hours in prayer over ps. lxiv. and lxv. in reference to that precious word! "o thou that hearest prayer," (ps. lxv. .) i asked the lord the following petitions, and entreated him to record them in heaven and to answer them. . that he would give me grace to glorify him by a submissive and patient spirit under my affliction. . that, as i was enabled now, and only now from my heart, to praise god for this affliction, he would not remove his hand from me, until he had qualified me for his work more than i have been hitherto. . that he would be pleased to grant, that the work of conversion, through the instrumentality of brother craik and myself, might not cease, but go on as much now as when we first came to bristol, yea, more abundantly than even then. . that he would be pleased to give more real spiritual prosperity to the church under our care, than ever we have as yet enjoyed. . having praised him for the sale of so many copies of my narrative in so short a time, i entreated him to cause every copy to be disposed of. . i asked him to continue to let his rich blessing rest upon this little work, and more abundantly, so that many may be converted through it, and many of the children of god truly benefited by it; and that thus i might now be speaking through it, though laid aside from active service. . i asked him for his blessing, in the way of conversion, to rest upon the orphans, and upon the sunday and day-school children under our care. . i asked him for means to carry on these institutions, and to enlarge them. these are some of the petitions which i have asked of my god this evening in connexion with this his own word. i believe he has heard me. i believe he will make it manifest, in his own good time, that he has heard me; and i have recorded these my petitions this th day of january, , that, when god has answered them, he may get, through this, glory to his name.-�[whilst writing this second part, i add to the praise of the lord, and for the encouragement of the children of god, that petitions , , , , and , have been fully answered, and the other petitions, likewise, in part.] jan. , tuesday. a blessed day. how very good is the lord! fervency of spirit, through his grace, is continued to me, though this morning, but for the help of god, i should have lost it again. the weather has been very cold for several days; but today i suffered much, either because it was colder than before, or because i felt it more, owing to the weakness of my body, and having taken so much medicine. i arose from my knees, and stirred the fire; but i still remained very cold. i was a little irritated by this. i moved to another part of the room, but felt the cold still more. at last, having prayed for some time, i was obliged to rise up, and take a walk to promote circulation. i now entreated the lord on my walk, that this circumstance might not be permitted to rob me of the precious communion which i have had with him the last three days; for this was the object at which satan aimed. i confessed also my sin of irritability on account of the cold, and sought to have my conscience cleansed through the blood of jesus. he had mercy upon me, my peace was restored; and when i returned i sought the lord again in prayer, and had uninterrupted communion with him. [i have purposely mentioned the above circumstance, in detail, in order to show, how the most trivial causes may operate in suddenly robbing one of the enjoyment of most blessed communion with god.] i have been enabled to pray for several hours this day. the subject of my meditation has been psalm lxvi.--verses , , and , are particularly applicable to my present circumstances. god has already, through the instrumentality of this my affliction, brought me into a "wealthy place," and i believe he will bless my soul yet more and more.�-i do not remember any time, when i have had more fervency of spirit in connexion with such a desire to overcome every thing that is hateful in the sight of god, and with such an earnestness to be fully conformed to the image of jesus. truly, i have reason to apply to myself verse , and "tell what god has done for my soul."--verse also i can take to myself. i do not regard iniquity in my heart, but it is upright before him, through his grace, and therefore god does hear my prayers.--what has god done for me, in comparing this th of january with the th of january , the day on which my dear mother died.--i have also resolved this day, if the lord should restore me again, to have an especial meeting at the chapel once a week, or once a fortnight, with the orphan and day-school children, for the purpose of reading the scriptures with them.�-my heart has been drawn out in prayer for many things, especially that the lord would create in me a holy earnestness to win souls, and a greater compassion for ruined sinners. for this i have been quickened through reading onward in whitfield�s life. jan. . the lord is yet merciful to me. i enjoy fervency of spirit. my soul has been again repeatedly led out in prayer this day, and that for a considerable time.--i have read on my knees, with prayer and meditation, psalm lxviii.�verse "a father of the fatherless," one of the titles of jehovah, has been an especial blessing to me, with reference to the orphans. the truth, which is contained in this, i never realized so much as today. by the help of god, this shall be my argument before him, respecting the orphans, in the hour of need. he is their father, and therefore has pledged himself, as it were, to provide for them, and to care for them; and i have only to remind him of the need of these poor children, in order to have it supplied. my soul is still more enlarged respecting orphans. this word "a father of the fatherless," contains enough encouragement to cast thousands of orphans, with all their need, upon the loving heart of god.--my head has been again in a distressing state today; my soul, however, is in peace. may god in mercy continue to me fervency of spirit! january to february . during this time i continued still at trowbridge. i was, on the whole, very happy, and habitually at peace, and had repeatedly much communion with god; but still i had not the same earnestness in prayer, nor did i, in other respects, enjoy the same degree of fervency of spirit, with which the lord had favoured me for several days previous to this period.while the considerable degree of fervency of spirit, which i had had, was altogether the gift of god, still i have to ascribe to myself the loss of it. it is remarkable, that the same book, whitfield�s life, which was instrumental in stirring me up to seek after such a frame of heart, was also instrumental in depriving me of it, in some measure, afterwards. i once or twice read that book when i ought to have read the bible on my knees, and thus was robbed of a blessing. nevertheless, on the whole, even this period was a good season.--my health being not at all improved, it seemed best that i should give up all medicine for a while, and take a tour; on which account i left trowbridge today and went to bath, with the object of going from thence to oxford. i had grace today to confess the lord jesus on my way from trowbridge to bath, as also twice, lately, in going from trowbridge to bristol; but i was also twice silent. oh that my heart may be filled with the love of jesus, in order that it maybe filled with love for perishing sinners! feb. . i left bath this morning, and arrived in the evening at oxford, where i was very kindly received by brother and sister ----, and the sisters ----. feb. . oxford. i had been praying repeatedly yesterday and the day before, that the lord would be pleased to guide me, whether i should leave this place or not; but could not see it clearly to be his will that i should do so, and therefore determined to stay. now, as i am able to have a quiet horse, i shall try horse exercise, if it may please the lord to bless that to the benefit of my health. feb. . i have had horse exercise for the last three days, but the horse is now ill. "mine hour is not yet come," is the lord�s voice to me in this little circumstance. feb. . this morning i was directed to read proverbs iii. - , having just a few minutes to fill up before breakfast. i was particularly struck with those words: "neither be weary of his correction." i have not been allowed to despise the chastening of the lord, but i begin, now and then, to feel somewhat weary of his correction. o lord, have mercy upon thy poor unworthy servant! thou knowest, that, after the inner man, i desire patiently to bear this affliction, and not to have it removed till it has done its work in me, and yielded the peaceable fruits of righteousness. but thou knowest also what a trial it is to me to continue the life i am now living. help, lord, according to my need! on feb. th i sent a letter to the church in bristol, which, having been preserved, i give here in print, as it shows the way in which the lord dealt with me during and through the instrumentality of the affliction, and which, with his blessing, may lead one or other of the children of god who are in trial, quietly to wait for the end, and to look out for blessings to be bestowed upon them through the instrumentality of the trial. to the saints, united together in fellowship, and assembling at bethesda and gideon chapels, bristol. trowbridge, feb. , . dear brethren, twelve weeks have passed away, since i last ministered among you. i should have written to you repeatedly, during that period, had i not thought it better to put aside every mental occupation which could be deferred, as my head is unfit for mental exertion; but i would now rather write a few lines, than appear unmindful of you. you are dear to me; yea, so dear, that i desire to live and die with you, if our lord permit; and why should i not tell you so by letter? i will write, then, as a token of brotherly remembrance and of love towards you; and may it be a means of quickening you to prayer on my behalf. in looking back upon my past life, i know not where to begin, and where to end, in making mention of the lord�s mercies. his long-suffering towards me in the days of my unregeneracy cannot be described. you know a little of my sinful life, before i was brought to the lord; still you know but very little. if, however, i have much reason to praise god for his mercies towards me in those days, i have more abundant reason to admire his gentleness, long-suffering, and faithfulness towards me since i have known him. he has step by step led me on, and he has not broken the bruised reed. his gentleness towards me has been great indeed, very great. (brethren, let us follow god, in dealing gently with each other!) he has borne with my coldness, half-heartedness, and backsliding. in the midst of it all, he has treated me as his child. how can i sufficiently praise him for this long-suffering? (brethren, let us imitate our father, let us bear long, and suffer long with each other!) he has been always the same gracious, kind, loving father, friend, supporter, teacher, comforter, and all in all to me, as he was at the beginning. no variableness has been found in him towards me, though i have again and again provoked him. i say this to my shame. (brethren, let us seek to be faithful, in the lord, towards each other! let us seek to love each other in the truth, and for the truth�s sake, without variableness! it is easy, comparatively, to begin to love; but it requires much watchfulness, not to grow weary in love, when little or no love is returned; yea, when we are unkindly treated, instead of being loved. but as our gracious, faithful god, notwithstanding all our variableness, loves us without change, so should we, his children, love each other. lord, help us so to do!) besides this gentleness, long-suffering, and faithfulness, which the lord has manifested towards me, and which i have experienced in common with you all, the lord has bestowed upon me peculiar blessings and privileges. one of the chief is, that he has condescended to call me for the ministry of his word. how can i praise him sufficiently for this! one who was such a sinner, such a servant of satan, so fit for hell, so deserving of everlasting destruction, was not merely cleansed from sin and made a child of god through faith in the lord jesus, and thus fitted for heaven, and did not merely receive the sure promise that he should have eternal glory; but was also called unto, and, in a measure, qualified for the expounding of the word of god. i magnify him for this honour!�-but more than this. more than eleven years, with very little interruption, have i been allowed, more or less, to preach the word. my soul does magnify the lord for this! more still. the lord has condescended to use me as an instrument in converting many sinners, and, in a measure at least, in benefiting many of his children. for this honour i do now praise god, and shall praise him not merely as long as i live, but as long as i have a being. but i do not stop here. i have many other reasons to speak well of the lord, but i would only mention one. it is my present affliction. yes, my present affliction is among the many things, for which i have very much reason to praise god; and i do praise him for it. before you, before the whole church of christ, and before the world would i confess that god has dealt in very kindness towards me in this affliction. i own, i have not borne it without impatience and fretfulness; i own, i have been several times overcome by irritability of temper on account of it; but nevertheless, after the inner man, i praise god for the affliction, and i do desire from my heart, that it may truly benefit me, and that it may not be removed till the end has been answered, for which it has been sent. god has blessed me in this trial, and is still blessing me.--as i know you love me, (unworthy as i am of it), and feel interested about me, i mention a few of the many mercies with which god has favoured me during these twelve weeks. . at the commencement of my illness, when my head was affected in a manner quite new to me, and when thus it continued day after day, i feared lest i should lose my reason.--this created more real internal suffering than ever i had known before. but our gracious lord supported me. his precious gospel was full of comfort to me. all, all will be well, was invariably the conclusion, the conclusion grounded upon scripture, to which i came; yea, all will be well with me eternally, though the heaviest of all earthly trials should coins upon me, even that of dying in a state of insanity.--i was once near death, as i then thought, nearly nine years ago: i was full of comfort at that time; but to be comfortable,--to be able quietly to repose upon god, with the prospect of an affliction before one, such as i have now mentioned,--is more than to be comfortable in the prospect of death, at least for a believer.--now, is it not well to be afflicted, in order to obtain such an experience? and have i not reason, therefore, to thank god for this affliction? oxford, feb. , . when i began to write the foregoing lines, beloved brethren, i intended to write but very briefly; but as i love you, and as i have abundant reason to magnify the lord, my pen ran on, till my head would follow no longer.--i go on now to mention some other mercies which the lord has bestowed upon me, through my present affliction. . through being deprived for so long a time of the privilege of preaching the word to sinners and saints, the lord has been pleased to create in me a longing for this blessed work, and to give me at the same time to feel the importance of it, in a degree in which i never had experienced it before. thus the lord has fitted me somewhat more for his work, by laying me aside from it. good therefore is the lord, and kind indeed, in disabling me from preaching. great has been my trial, after the self-willed old nature, not to be able to preach; and long ere this, unfit as i was for it, i should have resumed the work, had i followed my own will; but hitherto have i considered it most for the glory of god, quietly to refrain from outward service, in order to glorify him by patient submission, till my lord shall be pleased to condescend to call his servant forth again for active engagements. and then, i know, he will give me grace, cheerfully to go back to the delightful service of pointing sinners to the lamb of god, and of feeding the church. . through this affliction i have known experimentally in a higher degree than i knew it before, how, if obliged to refrain from active service, one can nevertheless as really and truly help the armies of jesus, through secret prayer, as if one were actively engaged in the proclamation of the truth.--this point brings to my mind a truth, of which we all need to be reminded frequently, even this, that at all times, and under all circumstances, we may really and truly serve the lord, and fight for his kingdom, by seeking to manifest his mind, and by giving ourselves to prayer. . through the instrumentality of this affliction the lord has been pleased to show me, how i may lay out myself more fully for his service in the proclamation of his truth; and, by his grace, if ever restored for active service, i purpose to practice what he has shown me. . through being deprived so much from meeting with the brethren as i have been these thirteen weeks, i have learned somewhat more to value this privilege than i did before. for as my head has been much affected, even through one meeting on the lord�s day, i have seen how highly i ought to have prized the days, when twice or thrice i could meet with the saints, without suffering from it.--bear with me, brethren, when i beseech you, highly to esteem the opportunities of assembling yourselves together. precede them with prayer; for only in as much as you do so, have you a right to expect a blessing from them. seek to treasure up, not merely in your memory, but in your heart, the truths which you hear; for soon you may be deprived of these privileges, and soon you may be called upon to practice what you hear. brethren, let us not learn the greatness of our privileges, by being deprived of them.-- i also delight in mentioning some of the particulars in which the lord�s kindness to me has appeared in this affliction, and whereby he has shown, that he does not lay more on us, than is absolutely needful. . you know, that since may, , i was able to walk but little. this infirmity the lord entirely removed, just before i became afflicted in my head. this was exceedingly kind; for air and exercise are the only means, which almost immediately relieve my head. how much greater would have been the affliction, had i not been able to walk about in the air!-�truly, "he stayeth his rough wind, in the day of his east wind." i delight in pointing out the gentleness of the stroke. oxford, feb. , . . the lord might have chosen to confine me to my bed, and kept me there in much pain these thirteen weeks, for the sake of teaching me the lessons which he purposes me to learn through this affliction; instead of this, the pain in my head has been so slight, that it would not be worth mentioning, were it not connected with a weakness of the mental faculties, which allows of but little exertion. . further, it might have pleased the lord to incapacitate me altogether for active service, but instead of this, he has still allowed me, in some small measure, to help by my judgment in some church matters, to write some letters in his service, to speak now and then a word to believers for the furtherance of their faith, and to confess his name repeatedly before unconverted persons, with whom i have met on my journeys. besides all this, i have had strength for other work connected with the kingdom of jesus christ. . in one other point the lord has been especially gracious to me, in that, while i have been unable to preach, unable to write or read much, or even to converse for any length of time with the brethren, he has allowed me always sufficient strength for as much secret prayer as i desired. even praying with others has been often trying to my head; but prayer in secret has not only never tried my head, but has been habitually (i mean the act of prayer) a relief to my head. oh! how can i sufficiently praise god for this. how comparatively slight are any trials to a child of god, as long as under them he is enabled to converse freely with his father! and so sweet has been this communion with my father, a few times, and so have i been enabled to pour out my heart before him, that whilst those favoured seasons have lasted, i not only felt the affliction to be no affliction, and could call it, from my heart, sweet affliction; but i was almost unwilling soon to go back to the multiplicity of engagements in bristol, lest i should not have leisure to continue so much in prayer, meditation, and the study of his word. shall i not then praise my father for such dealings with me? do i not even now see this affliction working for my good? i say, therefore, after the inward man: father, continue thy hand upon me, as long as it shall seem good in thy sight, only bless my soul!-�but, brethren, do not mistake me, as if i meant that i prayed habitually with much earnestness. o no! i pray a little habitually, i pray now and then much; but i pray by no means as much as my strength and present time allow me. therefore ask god on my behalf, that grace may be given me, habitually to pray much; and you will surely be profited by it.--but i could not help alluding to this point, as the lord�s kindness is so particularly seen in this matter. . lastly, i cannot omit mentioning the kindness of the lord, in opening the houses of some of his children at bath, trowbridge, and oxford for me, during this my affliction. these dear saints have shown me much kindness. but while i would be grateful to them for it, i discern the hand of god in influencing their hearts. moreover, i have had kind medical attendants. and you, my dear brethren, though i have been unable to minister among you, have continued to supply my temporal wants, for which i thank you, and in all of which i see the gracious, loving hand of my father, who through all this, as by a voice from heaven, tells me: "my child, even bodily health and strength would i give, were it good for thee." i therefore desire to wait for the good pleasure of my god concerning this point. your love will naturally ask, how i now am in body. my disease, as my kind medical friends tell me, is an inactive liver, which causes the pain in the head, and the inability of exerting my mind for any length of time. in addition to this, the nerves of the head seem to have suffered through over-exertion. as medicine had been tried for about ten weeks, and had not given relief, it appeared well, that i should give it up for a time, and simply travel about for the benefit of the air. my own experience teaches me, that this means is beneficial; for it gives almost immediate relief. in consequence of this, i left trowbridge last friday, and arrived on saturday evening at oxford, where i am staying with dear brother and sister b. i have here all that brotherly love can do for me, and am in every way comfortable. it is now a week since i have given up medicine, and i am at least not worse, if not better; but i think i am a little better. i wait on the lord to show me his will, as to the place to which i should go next. as to my inner man, i am in peace, generally in peace, and long for more conformity to the mind of christ. my chief desire is, that if it shall ever please the lord to restore me again, to be sent back to active service with increased humility, greater earnestness in the work, greater love for perishing sinners, and a heart habitually influenced by the truths which i preach.--whether i shall ever be restored for the work, i cannot say with certainty; but, if i may judge from the lord�s dealings with me in former times, i have reason to believe, that i shall yet be allowed to labour again. in conclusion, dear brethren, pray for my dear brother and fellow-labourer. esteem him highly in the lord; for he is worthy of all honour.�-i would write more, for i have much more to speak of; but as i purpose, if god allows me the pleasure, to write again soon, i leave it till then. farewell. your affectionate brother and servant in the lord, george muller. feb. . these ten days i have been staying in oxford, though i came only for one or two; but i have stayed to see the lord�s hand leading me away from hence. i have now been led to decide on going to lutterworth to see brother-�, to converse with him about accompanying him on a journey to the continent, with reference to missionary objects. when i had come to this decision, i took another ride, the horse being well again; but now this formerly quiet horse was self-willed and shy, which does not at all suit me in the weak state of my nervous system. as horse exercise had kept me here longer than i had intended to stay, and as i cannot now ride on this horse which before suited me so well, i see, even in this, in itself, trifling circumstance, a confirmation that i had been right in my decision to leave oxford. feb. . lutterworth. i arrived here on the evening of the th. i have been decidedly worse since i have been here, and was obliged again to have recourse to medicine. a brother having strongly recommended me, whilst in oxford, to go to leamington on account of my health, and having at the same time offered to pay my expenses during my stay there, and being now so very unwell again, and so near leamington, i decided to-night upon accepting his kindness, provided that my kind physician in bristol had no objection. feb. . leamington. i left lutterworth this morning, where i have received much kindness. there was no inside place, and i was very unwell; but the fear of being quite laid up at lutterworth, and becoming burthensome to those dear saints who had received me into their house though a stranger to them; and having still no desirable medical advice; and the remembrance that the lord had graciously enabled me, even lately, to travel outside in cold weather; induced me to get on the coach, and i rode off in a heavy fall of snow. but god had mercy. after eight miles ride, at rugby, i obtained an inside place. the rest of the way was crowned with mercies. i had a room to myself at southam, found a suitable dinner just ready, had an inside place to leamington, and was preserved by the way, though the coachman was quite intoxicated, and drove furiously.--i had asked the lord to let me find a suitable and cheap lodging at leamington, and the first lodging i saw i took, for which i pay only ten shillings weekly. thus, a few minutes after my arrival, i sat comfortably at my own fireside. how very kind of the lord! feb. . yesterday and today i have suffered again in my head, though i have been on the whole better since i have taken the leamington waters. but far more trying has been the internal conflict which i have had. grace fought against evil suggestions of one kind and another, and prevailed; but it was a very trying season. this was much increased by receiving neither yesterday nor today a letter from my dear wife. grace sought out for reasons why she had not written; nevertheless it was a very trying season. today i earnestly prayed to god to send my wife to me, as i feel that by being alone, and afflicted as i am in my bead, and thus fit for little mental employment, satan gets an advantage over me. feb. . god has had mercy upon me. the sore and sharp trial, the very bitter conflict is over.--this morning also i received a letter, which ought to have come yesterday, and which showed me that my dear wife had not been remiss in writing. she announced her purpose of coming today, and god, in mercy to me, brought her safely. march . my head has been on the whole better these two weeks, than it has been for several months; but still i am not well. i have walked every day, for the last thirteen days, between three and four hours a day, and by the mercy of god am able to do so, without much fatigue. march . my health is much the same. i am pretty well, but have no mental energy.--i have read during the last weeks once more, with as much or more interest than ever, i. and ii. of samuel, and i. and ii. of kings.-�i have now, after repeated prayer, come to the conclusion, (if brother craik, to whom i have written, sees no objection, and if my physician thinks it would be beneficial to my health,) to accompany brother--to germany, that thus; , i might aid him by my advice in reference to the object of his journey; , that thus, if the lord will, through the journey and the benefit of my native air, my health might be benefited; and , that i might once more have an opportunity of setting the truth before my father and brother. march . i feel quite comfortable in the prospect of going to germany. i trust it will prove to be as much of god, as it was shown to have been the last time. march . i had a letter today from brother craik, who thinks it desirable that i should go to germany, but my physician says that i should not go for a month or two, for that my mind ought not to be burdened. i am in peace, and from this i see that the lord has made me willing to do his and not my own will. i wrote to brother��the result of today, and have now left it with him, whether he will wait, or go on the st, as he purposes. march � . during these days, as before, i have continued to read the scriptures with prayer, i. e. turning what i read into prayer, chiefly with a reference to myself. my days generally pass away in peace. it is a trial to me, to have to care so much about my body; but, on the whole, the lord gives me grace to submit patiently, yet not always. today i saw again my medical adviser, who wishes me to stay another week. march , today i received a letter from brother ----. he is not gone, and will wait for me. i have increased assurance that i shall go to berlin, and have comfort in the thought. march . a few days ago i had particular comfort in meditating on the lord�s prayer in luke (which came in the course of my meditation), after having been tempted to pass it over, as it had been the subject of my meditation a short time before.--within the last fortnight i have read with meditation and prayer from the th to the th chapter of the gospel by luke. april . for some time i have been getting weary of my stay here. yesterday i pleaded especially that word psalm ciii. : "like as a father pitieth his children, so the lord pitieth them that fear him." i begged god to pity me, and to release me from the necessity of staying any longer at leamington, if it might be. today i saw my physician, and he has allowed me to leave. thus the lord has granted my request. april . my dear mary left for bristol, and i for london, on my way to germany. i was led to read, this morning, psalm cxxi. with my dear wife before we separated, which we both felt to be very appropriate to our circumstances. april . this evening i went on board the steamer for hamburg. april . all the day ill from sea sickness. april . lord�s day. i was able to get up this morning, and to take my meals.--last night i was led to praise god for having made me his child, considering that i was most likely the only one on board that knew him. this morning, however, i found a sister in the lord among the passengers, with whom i had much conversation.--at dinner she manifested more grace, in testifying against evil, than i did. at tea time i had grace, in some measure, to speak of jesus before the company, and to confess him as my lord. april . we arrived at hamburg about one in the morning, having had a most favourable passage of about hours, and at seven i went on shore. it had been repeatedly my prayer, that i might soon find out brother ----, who had gone three days before me to hamburg; and immediately after my arrival, in answer to prayer, without any difficulty, i found out where he lodged. april . berlin. we arrived here the evening before last. having been yesterday and this morning seeking for lodgings, without being able to obtain any that were suitable, i at last became irritated. surely there was lack of earnest prayer on my part in this matter, and want of patience in waiting the lord�s own time, and want of openness, in not telling brother ---- that i was tired, and that, on account of my weakness, i was unable thus to go about from place to place. at last the lord directed us to two suitable rooms, and i feel now again comfortable, in my quiet retirement, after having confessed my sin of irritability to the lord and to brother ----. april � . we met several times during this week with certain brethren who desire to give themselves to missionary service, and prayed and read the scriptures with them, and made such remarks as seemed to be important in connexion with the work. in addition to this we saw the brethren privately at our lodgings, two, three, or four at a time. but i have still felt the great weakness of my mental powers, and have been only able to attend to this work about three hours a day.--since my arrival here i have had two letters from my dear mary. harriet culliford, one of the orphans, and formerly one of the most unpromising children, has been removed. she died as a true believer, several of the brethren who saw her being quite satisfied about her state. surely this pays for much trouble and for much expense! my wife also mentions some fresh instances of the lord�s blessing resting upon my narrative.--i am now, after prayer, this day, april , quite sure that i should leave berlin, and go to my father at once, as the work here is too much for my head. april nd. confirmation-day of the children in berlin. the son of the person with whom we lodge was confirmed, and in the evening they had the violin and dancing. how awful!�-a few days since i heard that a brother in the lord, an old friend of mine, and one of the two alluded to in the first part of this narrative, page , was in prison on account of his religious views. this brought afresh before me the privileges which the children of god enjoy in england.--i saw a few days since another brother in prison, who, as an unconverted young man, in the university, was once at a political club, and had his name enrolled, in consequence of this, in the list of the political students. shortly afterwards he was converted, and gave up all connexion with these political students. he finished his university course and afterwards became a tutor to the sons of a baron. in that family he had been for a considerable time, when one night he was fetched by the police out of his bed and taken to prison, on the ground of this his connexion with the political club three or four years before. [the result was that he was for many months in prison. now he is a missionary in the east indies. i have related this circumstance to remind the reader afresh, that though the lord freely and fully forgives us all our sins at once when we believe, yet he may allow us to suffer the consequences of them in a greater or less degree.] april . left berlin last evening for magdeburg, had a long conversation with two deists in the mail. god helped me to make a full confession of his dear son, in answer to prayer for grace to be enabled to do so. this afternoon i arrived at heimersleben, the small town where my father lives. once more then i have met with my dear aged parent, who is evidently fast hastening to the grave, and seems to me not likely to live through the next winter. i arrived just at the time when, the fair was held in the town. how great, how exceedingly great, the difference in me, as to my feelings respecting such things now, from what they were formerly! april � . stay at heimersleben. the lord has given me both an opportunity and grace to speak more fully, more simply, and more to the heart of my father about the things of god, and in particular about the plan of salvation, than i had ever done before. i trust that, in judgment at least, he is convinced that there is something lacking in him. all the time of my stay here he has been most affectionate. i spoke also fully again to my poor brother, who is now completely living in open sin. oh to grace what a debtor am i!�-brother knabe, who was the only believer in heimersleben, as far as i have been able to learn, died about eighteen months since. april . today i left for magdeburg. my father accompanied me about eight miles. both of us, i think, felt, when about to separate, that we were parting from each other, never again to meet on earth. how would it have cheered the separation on both sides, were my dear father a believer! but it made my heart indeed sad to see him, in all human probability, for the last time, without having scriptural ground for hope respecting his soul.--i arrived in the afternoon at magdeburg, and went to a brother, a musician in one of the regiments of that fortress, who is on the point of leaving the army to go to the east indies as a missionary. in his lodgings i saw another brother, a private soldier, who lives in the barracks, who told me, on my enquiring, that he goes into the sand cellar, which is perfectly dark, in order to obtain opportunity for secret prayer. how great the privileges of those who may freely have both time and place for retirement; but how great, at the same time, our obligation to improve these opportunities!-�this evening at eight i went on board an elbe-steamer for hamburg. april . this morning at seven i arrived at hamburg. nothing particular happened during the passage, except that we stuck fast, in a shallow part of the river, through the carelessness of one of the sailors; but the lord heard prayer, and after a little while the steamer could ply again. may . yesterday and today i spent in an hotel at hamburg in writing letters. i had also, though staying at an hotel, much real communion with god in reading the scriptures and in prayer. this evening i embarked for london. may . london. left hamburg on the nd. had a fine passage. i have, by the mercy of god, been kept from light and trifling conversation; but i have not confessed the lord jesus as plainly as i ought to have done. this afternoon i arrived at the house of my dear friends in london, who received me with their usual kindness. after prayer i see it my duty to leave tomorrow for leamington, to see my physician there once more, and then to go as soon as i can to bristol. may . leamington. through the mercy of the lord the journey to germany, concerning which i had prayed so often, is now over, and i am safely brought back again to this place.--it has been a wet and cold day, but god has in mercy preserved me from injury, though i got wet. i had some conversation with a clergyman on the coach; i confessed the lord christ a little, but not plainly enough.--i had asked the lord to give me a quiet and cheap resting place in my former lodgings, if it might be, and accordingly they were unlet. may . this morning i left leamington for bristol. i had grace to confess the lord jesus the last part of the way before several merry passengers, and had the honour of being ridiculed for his sake. there are few things in which i feel more entirely dependant upon the lord, than in confessing him on such occasions. sometimes i have, by grace, had much real boldness; but often i have manifested the greatest weakness, doing no more than refraining entirely from unholy conversation, without, however, speaking a single word for him who toiled beyond measure for me. no other remedy do i know for myself and any of my fellow-saints who are weak, like myself, in this particular, than to seek to have the heart so full of jesus, and to live so in the realization of what he has done for us, that, without any effort, out of the full heart, we may speak for him.--i found my dear family in peace. may . this evening i went to the prayer meeting at gideon. i read psalm ciii, and was able to thank the lord publicly for my late affliction. this is the first time that i have taken any part in the public meetings of the brethren, since november th, . may . today i was much helped in expounding the scriptures publicly. when i began i knew not how the lord would deal with me, whether i should be able to speak or not, as my head is still very weak. but the lord helped me. i did not feel any loss of mental power. how gracious of the lord to allow me again to commence serving him in the ministry of his word.--[for several months after this i preached, on the whole, with much more enjoyment, and with much more earnestness and prayerfulness, than i did before i was taken ill. i also felt more the solemnity of the work.] june . a stranger called on me, and told me, that, many years ago, he had defrauded two gentlemen of a small sum, and that he wished to restore the same with interest. he also stated that he had read my narrative, and, feeling confidence in me, he requested me to convey this money to those gentlemen, giving me, at the same time, their names and place of abode. he intrusted me with four sovereigns for each of them. at the same time he gave me one sovereign for myself, as a token of christian love. i never saw the individual before, nor do i up to this moment know his name. i conveyed this money, however, not by post, as he wished but through two bank orders, in order that thus i might be able to show, should it be needful, that i actually did send the money; for in all such matters it becomes one to act with particular caution.--it may be that this fact will be read by some who have, like this stranger, before their conversion, defrauded certain individuals. if so, let them like him, or like zaccheus of old, restore what they took, and, if they have the means, with interest, or compound interest. june . last evening my dear wife was taken ill. often had i prayed respecting her hour, and now was the time to look out for the answer. she continued in most severe sufferings from a little after nine until midnight. thus hour after hour passed away, until eleven this morning. another medical attendant was then called in, at the desire of the one who attended her. at three in the afternoon she was delivered of a still-born child.--the whole of the night i was in prayer, as far as my strength allowed me. i cried at last for mercy, and god heard. june . my dearest wife is alive, but i am depending upon god for her life every moment. she is in much peace. a sister gave me this evening l. on account of dear mary�s illness.--[again we had not thought it well to make pecuniary provision for this time, though at no period of my life had i more abundant means of doing so than during the last few months; but our gracious father helped us abundantly in this and in other instances, as i shall mention below.] june . today there was sent to us anonymously, by post, l. for our own personal expenses, at this the time of our affliction, when our expenses are so great. the donor accompanied the l. note with an affectionate letter to my wife and myself. july . my dear wife, who for more than a fortnight after her delivery was so ill, that the two medical attendants came twice or three times daily, seems now, humanly speaking, likely to recover, and to be given back to me as from the dead. lord, help me so to receive her! july . from the commencement of the establishment of the orphan-houses, up to the end of june , the hand of the lord was seen in the abundance with which he was pleased to supply me with the means for maintaining nearly persons. now, however, the time is come when "the father of the fatherless" will show his especial care over them in another way.--the funds, which were this day twelvemonth about l., are now reduced to about l.; but, thanks be to the lord, my faith is as strong, or stronger, than it was when we had the larger sum in hand; nor has he at any time, from the commencement of the work, allowed me to distrust him. nevertheless, as our lord will be inquired of, and as real faith is manifested as such by leading to prayer, i gave myself to prayer with brother t---- of the boy�s orphan-house, who had called on me, and who, besides my wife, and brother craik, is the only individual to whom i speak about the state of the funds. while we were praying, an orphan child from frome was brought, and some believers at frome, having collected among them l., sent this money with the child. thus we received the first answer at a time of need. we have given notice for seven children to come in, and purpose to give notice for five more, though our funds are so low, hoping that god will look on our necessities. [observe how gently the lord dealt with us, in that, when want approached, he helped at once, in immediate answer to prayer, in order thus to increase our confidence in him; but, at the same time, to prepare us for sharper trials of our faith.] june and . these two days we have had two especial prayer meetings, from to in the evening, to commend publicly to the lord the boys� orphan-house. the meetings had been deferred until now, on account of my illness. in the morning of the th i expounded, with especial reference to children, samuel iii., before above children, being our orphan and day-school children, and, as many as could come, of those belonging to the sunday-school. what a great work! what an honour to be allowed to provide scriptural instruction for so many little ones. lord, help me to make use of my talents for the benefit of the rising generation, and let me serve my generation according to thy will!-�our funds for the orphans are now very low. there are about l. in hand, and in a few days l. at least will be needed; but i purposely avoided saying any thing about our present necessities, and spoke only, to the praise of god, about the abundance with which our gracious father, "the father of the fatherless," has hitherto supplied us. this was done in order that the hand of god, in sending help, may be so much the more clearly seen. july . this evening i was walking in our little garden, meditating on heb. xiii. , "jesus christ the same yesterday, and today, and for ever." whilst meditating on his unchangeable love, power, wisdom, &c.--and turning all, as i went on, into prayer respecting myself; and whilst applying likewise his unchangeable love, and power, and wisdom, &c., both to my present spiritual and temporal circumstances:�-all at once the present need of the orphan-houses was brought to my mind. immediately i was led to say to myself, jesus in his love and power has hitherto supplied me with what i have needed for the orphans, and in the same unchangeable love and power he will provide me with what i may need for the future. a flow of joy came into my soul whilst realizing thus the unchangeableness of our adorable lord. about one minute after, a letter was brought me, enclosing a bill for l. in it was written: "will you apply the amount of the enclosed bill to the furtherance of the objects of your scriptural knowledge society, or of your orphan establishment, or in the work and cause of our master in any way that he himself, on your application to him, may point out to you. it is not a great sum, but it is a sufficient provision for the exigency of today; and it is for today�s exigencies, that, ordinarily, the lord provides. tomorrow, as it brings its demands, will find its supply, etc." [of this l. i took l. for the orphan fund, and l. for the other objects, and was thus enabled to meet the expenses of about l. which, in connection with the orphan-houses, came upon me within four days afterwards, and which i knew beforehand would come.] on july sailed from liverpool for the east indies, for missionary service, twelve german brethren and three sisters, as the result of the journey of brother ---- and myself to the continent, in april last. july . yesterday the funds for the orphans were reduced to l. blessed be god, my confidence in him was unshaken! i received yesterday l. s. today i was going with my family for change of air to durdham down, and thought it well, therefore, to take out any money which there might be in the orphan-box in my house. when i opened it, i found a ten pound note and three half crowns. i had been waiting on god for means, both yesterday and today, and thus he has again shown how willing he is to help. aug. . during this week i shall have to pay again at least l. for the orphans, and have but about l. towards it. my eyes are up to the "father of the fatherless." i believe he will help, though i knew not how. aug. . how graciously has the lord again appeared, and that in so short a time! how has he sent help, from altogether unexpected quarters! i have been praying yesterday and today earnestly, beseeching the lord now to appear, and show his power, that the enemies might not say, "where is now thy god?" i reminded him especially, that i had commenced the work that it might be seen, that he, even in our day, is willing to answer prayer, and that the provision for our orphans might be a visible proof to all around us of this truth. and now observe! last evening brother craik told me that l. had been given him for the work in our hands; l. for the orphans, and l. for the school�bible�and missionary fund. today, having to pay l., and not having quite enough, when i went to brother t---- for the money which he might have received, as i knew that s. had been given to him, i took with me the keys of the boxes in the orphan-houses, to see whether the lord had sent in a little. i opened the box in the boys�-orphan-house, and found l. s. ½d. immediately after i received from brother t---- l. s. d., the greater part of which, as he told me, had come in within the last few days. thus our adorable lord has once more delivered; for i have now even more than enough to meet the current expenses of this week. aug. . when today the account books of the boys�-orphan-house were brought, several days sooner than i had expected them, it was found that there was l. s. d. due to the matron. besides this, money was to be advanced for house-keeping, and there was only s. / d. in hand. to this one of those connected with the work added l. this l. s. / d. was sent to the matron, whilst we were waiting upon god to send more help. in the evening the boxes at the girls� and infant-orphan-houses were opened, and in them was found l. s. / d. thus the lord has kindly helped us again for two or three days. aug. . i have not one penny in hand for the orphans. in a day or two again many pounds will be needed. my eyes are up to the lord. evening. before this day is over, i have received from a sister l. she had some time since put away her trinkets, to be sold for the benefit of the orphans. this morning, whilst in prayer, it came to her mind, i have this l., and owe no man any thing, therefore it would be better to give this money at once, as it may be some time, before i can dispose of the trinkets. she therefore brought it, little knowing that there was not a penny in hand, and that i had been able to advance only l. l s. d. for housekeeping in the boys�-orphan-house, instead of the usual l.; little knowing also, that within a few days many pounds more will be needed. may my soul be greatly encouraged by this fresh token of my gracious lord�s faithfulness! aug. . the l. which i had received on the th, had been given for house-keeping, so that today i was again penniless. but my eyes were up to the lord. i gave myself to prayer this morning, knowing that i should want again this week at least l., if not above l. today i received l. in answer to prayer, from a lady who is staying at clifton, whom i had never seen before. adorable lord, grant that this may be a fresh encouragement to me. aug. . today i was again without one single penny, when l. was sent from clapham, with a box of new clothes for the orphans. aug. . today sixteen believers were baptized. of all the baptisms which we have had, this was, perhaps, the most remarkable. among those who were baptized was an aged brother of above years, and one above . for the latter his believing wife had prayed years, and at last the lord answered her prayers in his conversion. should any believer who may read this, be on the point of growing weary in prayer for his unconverted relatives, because of the answer being delayed, the above fact may be instrumental in stirring up such a one to give himself to prayer with renewed earnestness and strengthened expectation. "in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." there were also amongst those who were baptized a blind brother and sister, and two very young persons. aug. . i have been waiting on the lord for means, as the matron�s books from the girls�-orphan-house have been brought, and there is no money in hand to advance for house-keeping. but as yet the lord has not been pleased to send help. as the matron called today for money, one of the labourers gave l. of his own, for the present necessities. sept. . the lord in his wisdom and love has not yet sent help. whence it is to come, need not be my care. but i believe god will, in due time, send help. his hour is not yet come. as there was money needed in the boys�-orphan-house also, the same brother, just alluded to, gave l. for that also. thus we were delivered at this time likewise. but now his means are gone. this is the most trying hour that as yet i have had in the work, as it regards means; but i know that i shall yet praise the lord for his help. i have mentioned my arguments before him, and my gracious lord, "the father of the fatherless," will send help. sept. . this morning the lord again helped by l., which another labourer connected with the work gave. this l., together with sixpence which had been given anonymously, was sent off to the girls�-orphan-house, where all the money must be gone. there came in further l. s. d. in the course of the day, which was given to the matron of the boys�-orphan-house. sept. . our hour of trial continues still. the lord mercifully has given enough to supply our daily necessities; but he gives by the day now, and almost by the hour, as we need it. nothing came in yesterday. i have besought the lord again and again, both yesterday and today. it is as if the lord said: "mine hour is not yet come." but i have faith in god. i believe that he surely will send help, though i know not whence it is to come. many pounds are needed within a few days, and there is not a penny in hand. this morning l. was given for the present necessities, by one of the labourers in the work.--evening: this very day the lord sent again some help to encourage me to continue to wait on him, and to trust in him. as i was praying this afternoon respecting the matter, i felt fully assured that the lord would send help, and praised him beforehand for his help, and asked him to encourage our hearts through it. i have been also led yesterday and today to ask the lord especially, that he would not allow my faith to fail. a few minutes after i had prayed, brother t---- came and brought l. s. d., which had come in, in several small donations. he told me, at the same time, that tomorrow the books will be brought from the infant-orphan-house, when money must be advanced for housekeeping. i thought for a moment, it might be well to keep l. of this money for that purpose. but it occurred to me immediately, "sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." the lord can provide, by tomorrow, much more than i need, and i therefore sent l. to one of the sisters, whose quarterly salary was due, and the remaining l. s. d. to the boys�-orphan-house for housekeeping. thus i am still penniless. my hope is in god: he will provide. sept. . this morning the books were brought from the infant-orphan-house, and the matron sent to ask when she should fetch them, implying, when they would have been looked over, and when money would be advanced for housekeeping. i said "tomorrow," though i had not a single penny in hand. about an hour after, brother t---- sent me a note, to say that he had received l. this morning, and that last evening a brother had sent lbs. of salt, dozen of onions, and lbs. of groats. sept. . the time had come that i had to send money to the infant-orphan-house, but the lord had not sent any more. i gave, therefore, the l. which had come in yesterday, and s. d. which had been put into the box in my house, trusting to the good lord to send in more. sept. . saturday evening. i am still in the hour of probation. it has not pleased my gracious lord to send me help as yet.--the evening before last i heard brother craik preach on genesis xii., about abraham�s faith. he showed how all went on well, as long as abraham acted in faith, and walked according to the will of god; and how all failed when he distrusted god. two points i felt particularly important in my case. . that i may not go any by-ways, or ways of my own, for deliverance. i have about l. in the bank, which, for other purposes in the lord�s work, has been entrusted to me by a brother and a sister. i might take of this money, and say but to the sister--and write but to the brother, that i have taken, in these my straits, l., l., or l., for the orphans, and they would be quite satisfied (for both of them have liberally given for the orphans, and the brother has more than once told me, only to let him know when i wanted money;) but this would be a deliverance of my own, not god�s deliverance. besides, it would be no small barrier to the exercise of faith, in the next hour of trial. . i was particularly reminded afresh, in hearing brother craik, of the danger of dishonouring the lord in that very way in which i have, through his grace, in some small measure brought glory to him, even by trusting in him.--yesterday and today i have been pleading with god eleven arguments, why he would be graciously pleased to send help. my mind has been in peace respecting the matter. yesterday the peace amounted even to joy in the holy ghost but this i must say, that the burden of my prayer, during the last days, has been chiefly, that the lord in mercy would keep my faith from failing. my eyes are up to him. he can help soon. one thing i am sure of: in his own way, and in his own time he will help. the arguments which i plead with god are: . that i set about the work for the glory of god, i e. that there might be a visible proof, by god supplying, in answer to prayer only, the necessities of the orphans, that he is the living god, and most willing, even in our day, to answer prayer; and that, therefore, he would be pleased to send supplies. . that god is the "father of the fatherless," and that he, therefore, as their father, would be pleased to provide. psalm lxviii. . . that i have received the children in the name of jesus, and that, therefore, he, in these children, has been received, and is fed, and is clothed; and that, therefore, he would be pleased to consider this. mark ix. , . . that the faith of many of the children of god has been strengthened by this work hitherto, and that, if god were to withhold the means for the future, those who are weak in faith would be staggered; whilst by a continuance of means, their faith might still further be strengthened. . that many enemies would laugh, were the lord to withhold supplies, and say, did we not foretell that this enthusiasm would come to nothing? . that many of the children of god, who are uninstructed, or in a carnal state, would feel themselves justified to continue their alliance with the world in the work of god, and to go on as heretofore, in their unscriptural proceedings respecting similar institutions, so far as the obtaining of means is concerned, if he were not to help me. . that the lord would remember that i am his child, and that he would graciously pity me, and remember that i cannot provide for these children, and that therefore he would not allow this burden to lie upon me long without sending help. . that he would remember likewise my fellow-labourers in the work, who trust in him, but who would be tried were he to withhold supplies. . that he would remember that i should have to dismiss the children from under our scriptural instruction to their former companions. . that he would show, that those were mistaken who said, that, at the first, supplies might be expected, while the thing was new, but not afterwards. . that i should not know, were he to withhold means, what construction i should put upon all the many most remarkable answers to prayer, which he had given me heretofore in connexion with this work, and which most fully have shown to me that it is of god. in some small measure i now understand, experimentally, the meaning of that word "how long," which so frequently occurs in the prayers of the psalms. but even now, by the grace of god, my eyes are up unto him only, and i believe that he will send help. sept. . monday morning. neither saturday nor yesterday had any money come in. it appeared to me now needful to take some steps on account of our need, i.e., to go to the orphan houses, call the brethren and sisters together, (who, except brother t----, had never been informed about the state of the funds), state the case to them, see how much money was needed for the present, tell them that amidst all this trial of faith i still believed that god would help, and to pray with them. especially, also, i meant to go for the sake of telling them that no more articles must be purchased than we have the means to pay for, but to let there be nothing lacking in any way to the children, as it regards nourishing food and needful clothing; for i would rather at once send them away than that they should lack. i meant to go for the sake also of seeing whether there were still articles remaining which had been sent for the purpose of being sold, or whether there were any articles really needless, that we might turn them into money. i felt that the matter was now come to a solemn crisis.--about half-past nine six-pence came in, which had been put anonymously into the box at gideon chapel. this money seemed to me like an earnest, that god would have compassion and send more. about ten, after i had returned from brother craik, to whom i had unbosomed my heart again, whilst once more in prayer for help, a sister called who gave two sovereigns to my wife for the orphans, stating that she had felt herself stirred up to come, and that she had delayed coming already too long. a few minutes after, when i went into the room where she was, she gave me two sovereigns more, and all this without knowing the least about our need. thus the lord most mercifully has sent us a little help, to the great encouragement of my faith. a few minutes after i was called on for money from the infant-orphan-house, to which i sent l., and l. s. d. to the boys�-orphan-house, and l. to the girls�-orphan-house. brother craik left bristol today for a few days in company with another brother. i should have gone with them for the sake of obtaining some quiet for my head; but i must remain, to pass with my dear orphans through the trial; though these dear little ones know nothing about it, because their tables are as well supplied as when there was l. in the bank, and they have lack of nothing. today i saw a young brother who, as well as one of his sisters, had been brought to the knowledge of the lord through my narrative. sept. . the good lord, in his wisdom, still sees it needful to keep us very low. but this afternoon brother t---- called, and told me that one of our fellow-labourers had sold his metal watch, and two gold pins, for l. s., that s. d. had come in, and that two of our fellow-labourers had sent two lots of books of their own, and in number, to be sold for the orphans. what an abundant blessing, that in such a season of trial i have such fellow-labourers! this l. s. d. was given to the boys�-orphan-house. sept. . still the trial continues. only s. came in today, given by one of the labourers. in the midst of this great trial of faith the lord still mercifully keeps me in great peace. he also allows me to see, that our labour is not in vain; for yesterday died leah culliford, one of the orphans, about years old, truly converted, and brought to the faith some months before her departure. sept. . no help has come yet. this morning found it was absolutely needful to tell the brethren and sisters about the state of the funds, and to give necessary directions as to not going into debt, etc. we prayed together, and had a very happy meeting. they all seemed comfortable s. d. was taken out of the boxes in the three houses, s. one of the labourers gave, and l. s. had come in for needlework done by the children. one of the sisters, who is engaged in the work, sent a message after me, not to trouble myself about her salary, for she should not want any for a twelvemonth. what a blessing to have such fellow-labourers! sept. . i met again this morning with the brethren and sisters for prayer, as the lord has not yet sent help. after prayer one of the labourers gave me all the money he had, s., saying that it would not be upright to pray, if he were not to give what he had. one of the sisters told me, that in six days she would give l., which she had in the savings� bank for such a time of need. god be praised for such fellow-labourers!-�up to this day the matrons of the three houses had been in the habit of paying the bakers and the milkman weekly, because they had preferred to receive the payments in this way, and sometimes it had thus been also with the butcher and grocer. but now, as the lord deals out to us by the day, we considered it would be wrong to go on any longer in this way, as the week�s payment might become due, and we have no money to meet it; and thus those with whom we deal might be inconvenienced by us, and we be found acting against the commandment of the lord, "owe no man anything." rom. xiii. . from this day, and hence-forward, whilst the lord gives to us our supplies by the day, we purpose therefore to pay at once for every article as it is purchased, and never to buy anything except we can pay for it at once, however much it may seem to be needed, and however much those with whom we deal may wish to be paid only by the week. the little which was owed was paid off this day.--when i came home i found a large parcel of new clothes, which had been sent from dublin for the orphans, a proof that tire lord remembers us still. we met again in the evening for prayer. we were of good cheer, and still believe that the lord will supply our need. sept. . saturday. we met again this morning for prayer. god comforts our hearts. we are looking for help. i found that there were provisions enough for today and tomorrow, but there was no money in hand to take in bread as usual, in order that the children might not have newly baked bread. this afternoon one of the labourers, who had been absent for several days from bristol, returned, and gave l. this evening we met again for prayer, when i found that s. d. more had come in since the morning. with this l. s. d. we were able to buy, even this saturday evening, the usual quantity of bread, (as it might be difficult to get stale bread on monday morning,) and have some money left. god be praised, who gave us grace to come to the decision not to take any bread today, as usual, nor to buy any thing for which we cannot pay at once. we were very comfortable, thankfully taking this money out of our father�s hands, as a proof that he still cares for us, and that, in his own time, he will send us larger sums. today, a brother kindly paid the bill for medical attendance on my dear wife during her confinement. the same brother also had paid, some weeks since, the second medical attendant, who was called in. thus the lord, in various ways, sends help to us, showing continually his fatherly care over us. sept. . lord�s day afternoon. we met again for prayer respecting supplies for the orphans. we are in peace, and our hope is in god, that he graciously will appear, though but one shilling has come in since last evening. sept. . the trial still continues. it is now more and more trying, even to faith, as each day comes. truly, the lord has wise purposes in allowing us to call so long upon him for help. but i am sure god will send help, if we can but wait. one of the labourers had had a little money come in, of which he gave s. d.; another labourer gave s. d., being all the money she had left: this, with s. d., which, partly, had come in, and, partly, was in hand, enabled us to pay what needed to be paid, and to purchase provisions, so that nothing yet, in any way, has been lacking. this evening i was rather tried respecting the long delay of larger sums coming; but being led to go to the scriptures for comfort, my soul was greatly refreshed, and my faith again strengthened, by the xxxivth psalm, so that i went very cheerfully to meet with my dear fellow-labourers for prayer. i read to them the psalm, and sought to cheer their hearts through the precious promises contained in it. sept. . brother t. had s. in hand, and i had s. this l. s. enabled us to buy the meat and bread, which was needed; a little tea for one of the houses, and milk for all; no more than this is needed. thus the lord has provided not only for this day, but there is bread for two days in hand. now, however, we are come to an extremity. the funds are exhausted. the labourers, who had a little money, have given as long as they had any left.--now observe how the lord helped us! a lady from the neighbourhood of london who brought a parcel with money from her daughter, arrived four or five days since in bristol, and took lodgings next door to the boys� orphan-house. this afternoon she herself kindly brought me the money, amounting to l. s. d. we had been reduced so low as to be on the point of selling those things which could be spared; but this morning i had asked the lord, if it might be, to prevent the necessity of our doing so. that the money had been so near the orphan-houses for several days without being given, is a plain proof that it was from the beginning in the heart of god to help us; but, because he delights in the prayers of his children, he had allowed us to pray so long; also to try our faith, and to make the answer so much the sweeter. it is indeed a precious deliverance. i burst out into loud praises and thanks the first moment i was alone, after i had received the money. i met with my fellow-labourers again this evening for prayer and praise; their hearts were not a little cheered. this money was this evening divided, and will comfortably provide for all that will be needed tomorrow. sept. . morning. the lord has again kindly sent in a little. last evening was given to me s. d., and this morning l. s. evening. this evening the lord sent still further supplies; l. s. / d. came in, as a further proof that the lord is not unmindful of us. there was in the box of the girls� orphan-house l. s., and in that of the boys� orphan-house l. s. / d. one of the labourers, in accordance with her promise this day week, gave l. s. about eighteen months ago she saw it right no longer to have money for herself in the savings� bank, and she therefore, in her heart, gave the money which she had there to the orphan-houses, intending to draw it in a time of need. some time since (she told me this evening) she drew a part of it to buy several useful articles for the orphan-houses; now the sum was reduced to l. when she found out the present need, she went this day week to the savings� bank, and gave notice that she wished to draw her money today. truly, as long as god shall be pleased to give me such fellow-labourers, his blessing will rest upon the work! this l. s. / d. was divided this evening to supply the three houses, and we thanked god, unitedly, for his help. sept. . both yesterday and today we have again assembled for prayer and praise. we are in no immediate want, but on the th l. s. will be due for the rent of the three orphan-houses.--today there was only s. d. in hand for the other objects of the institution, though it was the pay-day for some of the teachers. my comfort was the living god. during this week he had helped me so repeatedly and in such a remarkable way, as it regards the orphan-houses, that it would have been doubly sinful not to have trusted in him for help under this fresh difficulty. no money came in this morning. about two, the usual time when the teachers are paid, a sovereign was given, with which i went immediately to brother t. (who attends to this part of the work), to pay at least in part, the weekly salaries. i found that he had received a sovereign in the morning. by means of this sovereign, together with the one which i had received just at the moment when it was needed, we were helped through this day. sept. . yesterday and the previous days we have continued to assemble for prayer. in four days the rent for the orphan-houses will be due, and we have nothing towards it; also, the housekeeping money in the three houses is now again gone. may the lord have compassion on us, and continue to send us help! a little came in this morning: there was found s. d. in the box in my house. sept. . the s. d. which came in the day before yesterday, was given to the infant-orphan-house. thus we were helped through that day and yesterday. there was every thing that was needed in the three houses; i had made particular enquiry; there was meat even for today. we met yesterday again for prayer. today i was not able to go, on account of indisposition; i sent, therefore, to brother t. to request him to divide the l s. d., ( s. of which had come in last evening, and s. d. of which we had in hand), between the three matrons. this afternoon i hear of a fresh deliverance which the lord has wrought. about five weeks ago, a farmer applied for the admission of an orphan-girl, his grand-daughter. as i knew, however, that he had the means of providing for her, and as our institution is only for destitute orphans, i informed him that the child could only be received, on condition of his paying l. a year for her support, (which is about the average expense for the younger girls), and this, quarterly, in advance. this morning he came, brought the child, and paid l. s. in advance, and gave l. besides. thus the lord has again most seasonably helped us in this our time of need. may he keep the memory of these deliverances alive in our souls, and increase our confidence in him by every fresh one! in less than two days we have to pay l. s. for rent! may the lord keep us looking to him, and mercifully send help! sept. . saturday evening. prayer has been made for several days past respecting the rent, which is due this day. i have been looking out for it, though i knew not whence a shilling was to come. this morning brother t. called on me, and, as no money had come in, we prayed together, and continued in supplication from ten till a quarter to twelve. twelve o�clock struck (the time when the rent ought to have been paid), but no money had been sent. for some days past i have repeatedly had a misgiving, whether the lord might not disappoint us, in order that we might be led to provide by the week, or the day, for the rent. this is the second, and only the second, complete failure as to answers of prayer in the work, during the past four years and six months. the first was about the half-yearly rent of castle-green school-room, due july , , which had come in only in part by that time. i am now fully convinced that the rent ought to be put by daily or weekly, as god may prosper us, in order that the work, even as to this point, may be a testimony. may the lord, then, help us to act accordingly; and may he now mercifully send in the means to pay the rent!--whilst in this matter our prayers have failed, either to humble us, or to show us how weak our faith is still, or to teach us, (which seems to me the most probable,) that we ought to provide the rent beforehand; the lord has given us again fresh proofs, even this day, that he is mindful of us. there was not money enough in the girls�-orphan-house to take in bread, (we give the bread to the children on the third day after it is baked); but before the baker came, a lady called who had had some needlework done by the children, and paid s. d., and thus the matron was able to take in bread as usual. i found this morning s. in the box in my house, our extremity having led me to look into it. one of the labourers gave s. this s. was divided amongst the three matrons. thanks to the lord, there is all which is needed for today and tomorrow. sept. . we are not only poor as regards the orphan-fund, but also the funds for the other objects bring us again and again to the lord for fresh supplies. today, when we had not a single penny in hand, l. was given for the other objects. oct. . tuesday evening. the lord�s holy name be praised! he hath dealt most bountifully with us during the last three days! the day before yesterday l. came in for the orphans. of this i gave to each house s. which supplied them before the provisions were consumed. oh! how kind is the lord. always, before there has been actual want, he has sent help. yesterday came in l. s. more. this l. s., with s. d. in hand, was divided for present necessities. thus the expenses of yesterday, for housekeeping, were defrayed. the lord helped me also to pay yesterday the l. s. for the rent. the means for it were thus obtained. one of the labourers had received through his family l., and l. besides from a sister in the lord; also some other money. of this he gave l., which, with the l. s. that was left of the above-mentioned l., which came in the day before yesterday, made up l. s., the sum which was needed. --this day we were again greatly reduced. there was no money in hand to take in bread as usual, for the boys� and infant orphan-houses, but again the lord helped. a sister who had arrived this afternoon from swansea brought l. s., and one of the labourers sold an article, by means of which he was able to give l. s. thus we had l.:�- l. for each house, and could buy bread before the day was over. hitherto we have lacked nothing! oct. . thursday. the money of tuesday helped us through yesterday. today, when again all was gone, and help was greatly needed, our loving lord appeared. the books which had been given some time since, by some of my fellow-labourers, were sold for s., also an old bedstead for s. d., and an old sofa for s. the boxes were also opened, as i had been told some money had been put in, and s. d. was found in them. this money was a fresh encouragement to us in our need. by this l. s. d. we were helped through the day. oct. . this morning, just before i was going to the orphan-houses to meet with the brethren and sisters for prayer, l. s. was brought from teignmouth. this money seems to have been given some months since to a brother at teignmouth, but it did not reach me until today. it is a most seasonable help, to defray the expenses of this day, and a fresh proof, that not in anger, but only for the trial of our faith, our gracious lord delays as yet, to send larger sums. oct. . saturday. the lord has again most kindly helped us. it came to my mind that there were some new blankets in the orphan-houses, which had been given some time since, but which are not needed, and might therefore be sold. i was confirmed in this by finding that the moth had got into one pair. i therefore sold ten pairs, having a good opportunity to do so. thus the lord not only supplied again our present need for the three houses, but i was also able to put by the rent for this week and the next, acting out the light which he had given us this day week. there came in s. d., besides l. for the blankets. the school fund, also, was again completely exhausted, when today and yesterday came in so much, that not only the weekly salaries could be paid today, but also above l. could be put by for rent. oct. . through the last-mentioned supplies for the orphans we were helped up to this day; but today we were brought lower than ever. the provisions would have lasted out only today, and the money for milk in one of the houses could only be made up by one of the labourers selling one of his books. the matron in the boys�-orphan-house had this morning two shillings left. when in doubt whether to buy bread with it, or more meat, to make up the dinner with the meat which she had in the house, the baker called, and left three quarterns of bread as a present. in this great need, some money having been given to one of the labourers, he gave l. of it, by which we were able to buy meat, bread, and other provisions. nevertheless even this day, low as we had been brought, before this l. was given, there had been all in the house that was needed. oct. . the lord had sent in so much since yesterday afternoon, that we were able at our meeting this morning to divide l. s. d. between the three matrons, whereby we are helped through this day. but now the coals in the infant-orphan-house are out, and nearly so in the other two houses. also the treacle casks in all the three houses are nearly empty. on this account we have asked the lord for fresh supplies. oct. . the "father of the fatherless" has again shown his care over us. an orphan from devonshire arrived last evening. with her was sent l. s. d. the sister who brought her gave also a silver tea-pot, sugar-basin, and cream jug (of the weight of oz.), having found true riches in christ. there was also in the boxes s. one of the labourers paid for a ton of coals. we obtained l. s. for the silver articles.--thus we were helped through the heavy expenses of the following days. oct. . today seven brethren and sisters were added to us in fellowship, and eight were proposed. may the lord send helpers for the work! oct. . for three months past the orphan fund has been low, yet hitherto we have lacked nothing! oct. . i knew that there would be money needed this morning, for many things in the orphan-houses, and my heart was therefore lifted up to the lord. just when i was going to meet my fellow labourers for prayer, i received from trowbridge l. there had come in also at the orphan-houses s. d. to this one of the labourers added l. thus i was enabled abundantly to supply all that was wanted, and to pay for a cask of treacle and a ton of coals. we are now, however, cast again on the love of our lord for further supplies, as there is neither any thing in hand, nor have the labourers any more of their own to give. oct. . the day commenced with mercies. i was looking up to the lord for help, early this morning, when, almost immediately afterwards, brother t. came, and brought two silver table-spoons, and six tea-spoons, which had been left, anonymously, yesterday afternoon, at the girls�-orphan-house. this afternoon i received l. from staffordshire. on the seal of the letter, which enclosed the money, was "ebenezer." how true in our case! surely this instance is a fresh "ebenezer" to us; for hitherto the lord has helped us.--there was also found a half sovereign in the box at my house. also a lady left s. at the door of the girls�-orphan-house, with about pears for the children; and a brother sent s., the first fruits of the increase of his wages. thus i was able to give a larger supply than usual to the matrons. oct. . today our funds were again quite low. in the infant-orphan-house only d. was left, and very little in the other two houses. but the lord most manifestly again answered prayer. a gentleman from london, who is greatly interested about destitute and neglected children, came over from bath with two of his sisters to see the orphan-houses. he gave l. there was s. d. put into the box at my house, and d. anonymously into the box at gideon chapel. with this l. s. i went directly to the orphan-houses to relieve the present need. whilst i was there, the lord gave still further supplies; for being informed that in the morning some ladies had seen the houses, and put money into the boxes, i opened them and found l. s. ld. thus the lord, by means of this l. s. d., helped us through the necessities of this day. oct. . the lord again sent above l., which supplied this day�s necessities. oct. . today the lord sent from a most unexpected quarter l. the money was given by a relative of two children in the boys�-orphan-house. thus we are helped for two days, and are able to put by the rent for this week. oct. . saturday. this day we have been again mercifully helped, though our need has been almost greater than ever. but, thanks to our adorable lord! this day also we have not been confounded; for there was s. in the box at the infant-orphan-house, and s. came in for things which had been given to be sold. to this one of the labourers added s. by means of this l. s. we have been able to meet all pressing demands, and to procure provisions for today and tomorrow. oct. . monday. the lord has again given us this day our daily bread, though, in the morning, there was not the least natural prospect of obtaining supplies. one of the labourers, who had received some money for his own personal expenses, gave l. some things also, which had been given for sale, had been sold for s.; and d. had been put into the box at gideon chapel this l. s. d. enabled us to meet the expenses of this day. there were also many articles of worn clothes sent. oct. . this has been again a day of peculiar mercies in reference to the funds. whilst i was in prayer respecting them, a brother brought / yards of cloth. he had bought it for himself, but, afterwards considering that he had sufficient clothes, he gave it to be sold for the orphans. this evening a sister gave me l., ten of which were for the orphans, and ten for the other objects. thus we are helped for this week. nov. . lord�s day. there was given, by a stranger, last wednesday evening, at bethesda chapel, to one of the sisters, a sovereign for the orphans, which i received today. thus the lord has again begun the week with mercy, and his love surely will help us through it, though again many pounds will be needed. nov. . monday. by means of the sovereign which had come in yesterday, and several small donations today and on the past days, together with l. s. which one of the labourers added of his own, l. s. d. was divided this day between the three matrons, which will supply their need for two days at least. nov. . the funds are now again completely exhausted. today i divided l. s. d., which had come in yesterday; thus the necessary wants were supplied. the lord be praised who has helped us hitherto! one of the orphans was sent today to service, and the lord enabled us to give her a suitable outfit. nov. . last evening l. s. came in, which, being divided between the three houses, helped us through this day. nov. . saturday. all seemed to be dark, so far as regards natural appearances, at the commencement of this day. but through this day also the lord has helped us, and enabled us to meet all demands. in the course of the day came in l. s. d. to this two of the labourers added s. each, and thus we were brought to the close of one more week, having been able to supply the necessities of persons in the orphan-houses, without owing any thing. nov. . monday. sixpence came in this morning, to which one of the labourers added s. d., to meet the most pressing necessities. this evening i found the l. was not enough to take in bread for the boys�-orphan-house. the lord gave us, however, before the day was over, enough to buy the usual quantity of bread; for there was found in the boxes s. d. and a pair of small gold earrings. nov. . this morning our want was again great. i have l. in hand which has been put by for rent, but, for the lord�s honour, i would not take of it. nothing had come in, and the labourers had scarcely any thing to give. i went, however, to the orphan-houses, to pray with my fellow labourers, and, if it might be, to comfort them, and see what could be done. when i came there, i found that s. d. had come in this morning. on enquiry i heard that only s. d. more was needed to carry us through the day. this one of the labourers was able to add of his own. thus the lord has again helped us out of our difficulty. one of the labourers gave some things which he could do without, and another gave a workbox to be sold for the orphans.--before this day has come to an end, the lord has sent in l. s. d. more, so that we have also a little for tomorrow. nov. . the money which had come in the day before yesterday, supplied the necessities of yesterday also; but today we were brought again very low. i went to the orphan-houses, to pray with my fellow-labourers, not without hope that the lord might have appeared, and sent a little help. when i arrived i found that one of the labourers had sold a few of his books, together with two which had been given by another labourer on the th, for which he had received s. to this one of the labourers added s. d. this s. d. supplied the most pressing necessities. when i came home i found s. in the box at my house, and soon after received s. for a pair of fire screens, which had been given for sale. there were also three baskets of potatoes sent to the three different houses. a sack of potatoes had been ordered, but the brother, who had been desired to bring them, could not conveniently do so today, and thought, as this present had been ordered from him, there would be no immediate need of them; and oh! how kind of the lord to order it thus: for had he brought them, the payment would have taken away the money which was intended for the usual quantity of bread. but before the day was over, the lord helped still further. in the afternoon a gentleman from bath called at the boys�-orphan-house, and gave a cheque for l. there was also s. given; s. d. came in for needle-work, and s. d. for things sold. thus altogether l. s. d. has been sent by the lord this day. nov. . saturday. today above l. was needed, and as only s. d. had come in, we found it needful to determine to dispose of a few articles of furniture which we conveniently could do without. one of the labourers gave a good watch to be sold, which she had bought some months since, there being then no time-piece in one of the houses. in consideration of these articles to be sold, i took, for the present necessities of the orphans, l. s. of the money which had been put by for the rent, to be replaced when these articles could be sold at a suitable opportunity. thus we were helped to the close of one more week. nov. . today we were again in great need. there had come in only s. d. for needle-work. the lord had, however, given to one of the labourers a little money, of which he gave s., by means of which we were helped through this day also. nov. . today our need was exceedingly great, but the lord�s help was great also. i went to meet with the brethren and sisters as usual. i found that l. would be needed to supply the necessities of today, but s. only had come in. just when we were going to pray, one of the labourers came in, who, after prayer, gave s. whilst we were praying, another labourer came in, who had received l. thus we had l. s.; even more, therefore, than was absolutely needed. nov. . never were we so reduced in funds as today. there was not a single halfpenny in hand between the matrons of the three houses. nevertheless there was a good dinner, and, by managing so as to help one another with bread, etc., there was a prospect of getting over this day also; but for none of the houses had we the prospect of being able to take in bread. when i left the brethren and sisters at one o�clock, after prayer, i told them that we must wait for help, and see how the lord would deliver us at this time. i was sure of help, but we were indeed straitened. when i came to kingsdown, i felt that i needed more exercise, being very cold; wherefore i went not the nearest way home, but round by clarenceplace. about twenty yards from my house, i met a brother who walked back with me, and after a little conversation gave me l. to be handed over to the brethren, the deacons, towards providing the poor saints with coals, blankets and warm clothing; also l. for the orphans, and l. for the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. the brother had called twice while i was gone to the orphan-houses, and had i now been one half minute later, i should have missed him. but the lord knew our need, and therefore allowed me to meet him. i sent off the l. immediately to the matrons. nov. . the above-mentioned l., with an addition of s. d. which had also come in, helped us through the expenses of yesterday and today. nov. . this again has been a very remarkable day. we had as little in hand this morning as at any time, and yet several pounds were needed. but god, who is rich in mercy, and whose word so positively declares that none who trust in him shall be confounded, has helped us through this day also. while i was in prayer, about ten in the morning, respecting the funds, i was informed that a gentleman had called to see me. he came to inform me that a lady had ordered three sacks of potatoes to be sent to the orphan houses. never could they have come more seasonably. this was an encouragement to me, to continue to expect help. when i came to the prayer meeting about o�clock, i heard that s. had come in, also l. for a guitar, which had been given for sale. the payment for this guitar had been expected for many weeks. it had been mentioned among us, repeatedly, that it might come just at a time, when we most needed it: and oh! how true. also the watch which had been given was sold for l. s. but with all this we could not have put by the rents for this week, amounting to s. one of the labourers, therefore, gave his watch to the orphan-fund under this condition, that should the lord not enable us before dec. st to make up this deficiency, it should be sold, but not otherwise, as he needs it in the lord�s service.--[a few days after the lord gave the means to put by the s., and s. besides for the next week�s rent.] thus the lord helped us through this day, and with it brought us to the close of one more week. nov. . lord�s-day. the lord kindly remembers us before there is absolute need. a sister who is going to leave bristol, called on me to bid me farewell, and gave me, in parting, l. s. for the orphans. it is remarkable, that almost every donation given within the last four months and thirteen days, since our funds have been low, has come from unexpected quarters, to make the hand of god so much the more manifest. nov. . though there had come in yesterday l. s., yet that was scarcely the half of what was needed this day. but the lord knew our circumstances, and, as he is wont to do, most unworthy as we are of it, remembered our need. there was given l. this morning, and s. had been put anonymously into the box at gideon chapel; and a lamp, which had been given some time since, had been sold for s. also s. d. came in for needlework. by means of these several little sums we could meet all the demands of this day. nov. . yesterday afternoon came in s., and this morning, by the disposal of some articles, which had been given for sale, s. this furnished us with means to procure, for this day also, the necessary supplies. nov. . this is, perhaps, of all days the most remarkable as yet, so far as it regards the funds. when i was in prayer this morning respecting them, i was enabled firmly to believe that the lord would send help, though all seemed dark as to natural appearances. at o�clock i met as usual with the brethren and sisters for prayer. there had come in only s., which was left last evening anonymously, at the infant orphan-house, and which, except d., had already been spent, on account of the great need. i heard also that an individual had gratuitously cleaned the time-piece in the infant orphan-house, and had offered to keep the timepieces of the three houses in repair. thus the lord gave even in this a little encouragement, and a proof that he is still mindful of us. on inquiry i found that there was every thing needful for the dinner in all the three houses; but neither in the infant nor boys� orphan-houses was there bread enough for tea, nor money to buy milk. lower we had never been, and, perhaps, never so low. we gave ourselves now unitedly to prayer, laying the case in simplicity before the lord. whilst in prayer there was a knock at the door, and one of the sisters went out. after the two brethren, who labour in the orphan-houses, and i had prayed aloud, we continued for a while silently in prayer. as to myself, i was lifting up my heart to the lord to make a way for our escape, and in order to know, if there were any other thing which i could do with a good conscience, besides waiting on him, so that we might have food for the children. at last we rose from our knees. i said, "god will surely send help." the words had not quite passed over my lips, when i perceived a letter lying on the table, which had been brought whilst we were in prayer. it was from my wife, containing another letter from a brother with l. for the orphans. the evening before last i was asked by a brother whether the balance in hand for the orphans would be as great this time, when the accounts would be made up, as the last time. my answer was, that it would be as great as the lord pleased. the next morning this brother was moved to remember the orphans, and to send today l., which arrived after i had left my house, and which on account of our need was forwarded immediately to me. thus i was enabled to give l. s. for housekeeping, and to put by l. s. for rent. the brother who sent the l. for the orphans, sent likewise l. to be divided between brother craik and me, with the object of purchasing new clothes for ourselves. nov. . the lord has greatly blessed our meetings for prayer. they have been instrumental in leading us to much prayer for the children in the orphan-houses, in the day-schools, and in the sunday-school. they have led us to prayer for ourselves, for the day-school teachers, and for the sunday-school teachers, that grace may be given to us so to walk before the children, and so to deal with them, as that the lord may be glorified by us. we have also often been led to intercede for the believers with whom we are in fellowship, and for the church at large. we have especially prayed, that our work may lead the church generally to a more simple confidence and trust in the lord. that these meetings have not been in vain, as regards the procuring of funds, has been already sufficiently seen by the many instances which have been recorded in the foregoing pages. today, however, we have had another particular proof of this. when we met i found that s. had come in yesterday afternoon. when i returned home i found l. had come in, and shortly after i received another l. in the evening i received l., which was sent from suffolk by a sister who had often expressed how gladly she would contribute more largely to the work which is in our hands, had she the means, and who just now, in this our time of need, has obtained the means to carry out the desire of her heart. i rejoice in the last donation particularly, not because of the largeness of the sum, but because it enables me to pay to my brethren and sisters in the orphan-houses the salary which is due to them. for though they are willing to labour without any remuneration, nevertheless "the labourer is worthy of his reward." this donation also proves, that the lord is willing even now, as formerly, to send large sums. but i expect still larger. the same sister who sent the l. for the orphans, sent, at the same time, l. to be divided between brother craik and me for our personal expenses. how abundantly does the lord care for us! truly we serve a kind master! dec. . today there were again a few shillings needed, in the boys� orphan-house. that which remained of the £ l. had been divided for housekeeping in the three houses, and was now all spent in the boys� orphan-house, and nearly also in the other two houses. the few shillings which were needed in the boys� orphan-house, the lord, however, had previously provided by the little which had come in on december and . dec. . this day our need was again as great as ever, but the deliverance of the lord was also as manifest as ever. no money had come in, and i knew there would be some needed this morning in all the three houses. that which was required to buy provisions for today, was about l.; but there were also coals needed in two houses, and two of the treacle-casks were empty. we gave ourselves, as usual, to prayer. after prayer one of the labourers gave l. of the salary which she had received a few days ago; another gave s., and s. d. was taken out of the boxes. thus we had l. s. d. to divide, and therefore more than was absolutely needed; also one of the labourers had ordered half a ton of coals to be sent to the boys� orphan-house, for which he paid himself. this afternoon i received l. from a sister; l. for the orphans, and l. for the school�bible�and missionary-fund. this same sister, who earns her bread with her own hands, had given, on october , , l. towards the boys� orphan-house, and gave for the necessities of the poor saints, in august, , l. more; for she had been made willing to act out those precious exhortations: "having food and raiment let us be therewith content." "sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth." "lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal." respecting the l. which has been given of this sum for the school�bible�and missionary-fund, it is worthy of remark, that we would not order reference bibles till we had the means. we had repeatedly prayed respecting this want of bibles, and particularly again this morning. it had been also much laid on our hearts today, to request that the lord would enable us to have the report printed, which we could not do, unless he first sent the means. lastly, we had also repeatedly asked him to supply us so largely, if it were his will, as that at the time of the public meetings we might be able to speak again of abundance. for though for some months past the time has been fixed for the public meetings, without any reference to the state of the funds, nevertheless, it might have had the appearance, that we had convened the brethren for the sake of telling them about our poverty, and thus to induce them to give. dec. , . the lord closes the third year of this part of the work with blessings. yesterday was sent yards of flannel, and today were taken out of the box in the boys� orphan-house a l. note and d. also s. was given, and l. besides. dec. , , and . on the evenings of these three days there were public meetings, at which i gave an account of the lord�s dealing with us in reference to the orphan-houses and the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. as the work, and particularly that of the orphan-houses, was begun for the benefit of the church at large, it appeared well to us, that from time to time it should be publicly stated how the lord had dealt with us in reference to it; and as on dec. th the third year had been completed, since the commencement of the orphan work, this seemed to be a suitable time for having these meetings. should any one suppose, in reading the plain details of the trials through which we passed during the four months previous to dec. , , respecting the orphan-houses, that i have been disappointed as it regards my expectations, as far as the funds are concerned: my answer is, that the reverse is the case. for straits were expected. long before the trials came, i had more than once stated publicly, that answers to prayer, in the time of need,--the manifestation of the hand of god, stretched out for our help,--was just the very end for which the institution was established. i further state, that the orphans have never lacked any thing. had i had thousands of pounds in hand, they would have fared no better than they have; for they have always had good nourishing food, the necessary articles of clothing, etc. it is now (namely on dec. , ) four years and nine months since brother craik and i established the scriptural knowledge institution. the reasons which we had for doing so were, that thus a testimony might be borne that the children of god need not to go to unbelievers to ask them for money; nor require the patronage of the great men of this world in the lord�s work; and that, further, believers generally might be stirred up, to renounce their alliance with the world in the management and promotion of religious objects, and that, lastly, it might be seen, that, without contracting debts, such objects can be carried on. painful as it was, and as it still is, to us, to be obliged to differ from so many of our brethren, in these particulars, nevertheless we were called upon to work without them, if we could not conscientiously work with them. may the lord grant, that the eyes of many of his children may be opened, so that they may seek, in all spiritual things, to be separated from unbelievers, ( cor. vi. � ), and to do god�s work according to god�s mind! i notice briefly the following particulars respecting the first three objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. . there is at present (in december, ) a sunday school supported by it, which contains four hundred and sixty-three children. this part of the work calls for particular thanksgiving; for during these last eighteen months the number of the children has been nearly three times as great as it used to be. five of the scholars have been converted within the last two years, and are now in fellowship with the church, and three of them are teachers in the school. . there is in connection with the institution an adult-school, in which, since the commencement of the work, above adults have been instructed, and in which at present twelve are taught to read. . the institution has entirely supported, since its commencement, several day-schools for poor children, and within the last two years six of such: three for boys, and three for girls.--the number of all the children that have had schooling in the day-schools through the medium of the institution, since its formation, amounts to ; the number of those at present in the six day. schools is . . during the last two years there have been circulated, copies of the scriptures in connexion with the institution, and since the beginning of the work, march , , five thousand and seventy-eight copies. . for missionary purposes have been laid out £ . s. d. . the total of the income for the first three objects, during the last two years, was £ . s. d. the total of the expenses £ . s. / d. there are, at present, orphans in the three houses, i. e. in the girls�-orphan-house, in the infant-orphan-house, and in the boys�-orphan-house. the whole number of orphans, who have been under our care, from april , , to dec. , , amounts to . god�s blessing has most manifestly rested upon this part of the work. for, . without any one having been asked for any thing by us, the sum of £ s. / d. has been given to us, entirely as the result of prayer to god. . besides this, also, many articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, etc. . without our solicitation three medical gentlemen, (one for each house), have, up to dec. , , kindly given their attendance and medicines gratuitously. . the children have been, on the whole, in good health, and many of them have greatly improved as to their health, since they have been with us. . though most of them had been brought up in a very different manner from what one could desire, yet god has constrained them, on the whole, to behave exceedingly well, so much so that it has attracted the attention of all observers. this can be ascribed only to the good hand of god. . there are a few among them, respecting whom we have a comfortable assurance that they care about their souls. . there is not one of those who have died, of whom we are without hope, as it regards their eternal welfare; but respecting two of them we have especial reason to rejoice. the elder of the two, harriet culliford, about twelve years of age when she died, had been for many months wasting away in consumption. she was, almost during the whole time of her illness, completely careless about the things of god; nothing seemed to make any impression upon her, though a well behaved child in other respects. about a fortnight before her departure, she was brought to know the lord, gave the fullest evidence, that could be given in her circumstances, of a real change of heart, and departed full of joy at the prospect of being with the lord, though previously she had been very desirous to be restored again. the younger, leah culliford, (both of them of a very consumptive family), fell asleep in jesus on sept. , . she was but little more than eight years of age; but many weeks before her death she gave evidence to those who were placed over her of a change of heart, and of faith in the lord jesus christ. the total of the income for the orphans, from dec. , , to dec. , , has amounted to £ . s. d. the total of� the expenses to £ . s. / d. there was two years ago a balance of £ . s. / d. in hand, and now the balance is £ . s. d. dec. . there was a paper anonymously put into the box at bethesda chapel, containing l. s. in the paper was written "for the rent of the orphan-houses, from dec. to dec. , . �o taste and see that the lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him!" in order that the reader may be able to enter into the value of this donation, i would request him to read over once more, what i wrote under "sept. of this year." [the individual who gave this l. s. for the rent of the orphan-houses for the first three weeks after the public meetings, at which the matter about the rent, for the instruction of the brethren, was fully stated, continued for three years, up to dec. , , to give regularly, but anonymously, l. s. a week for the same purpose, which was exactly the sum required every week for the rent of those three houses. thus the lord rewarded our faithfulness, in carrying out the light which he had given us. but the chief blessing, resulting from this circumstance, i consider to be this, that several brethren, who earn their bread by the labour of their hands, have learned through this circumstance, that it is the will of the lord they should lay by their rent weekly. i beseech those brethren who are not pursuing this course, to do so, and they will soon prove by experience the benefit of acting on scriptural principles even as it regards this life.] dec. . today eleven brethren and sisters were proposed for fellowship. the lord still uses us as instruments. truly, our labour in the lord is not in vain! dec. . as the expenses for the orphans have been above l. within the last six days, and as but little above l. has come in, and as the money for printing the report had to be kept back, in order that we might not be in debt, we were again today very low in funds, though it is but six days since the public meetings. as i knew that tomorrow several pounds would be needed to supply the matrons, i gave myself this morning to prayer. about a quarter of an hour afterwards i received l., the payment of a legacy, left by a sister, who fell asleep in jesus several months since, in ireland. besides this i received from the brother, through whom the legacy was paid, l. s. for the orphan-fund. with this l. s. i hope to be able to meet the expenses of tomorrow. i observe here that it might have been naturally supposed that every heart would be touched, through what was publicly stated about the remarkable manner in which the lord had provided for us for nearly days, and that consequently an abundance of means would have come in. to this is to be added, that l. s. d. was in hand on dec. , and that therefore it seemed not likely that we should be in need; and yet, by dec. , we were again so poor, that there was nothing to meet the expenses of the next day, as has just been related. all this came not unawares upon me and my fellow-labourers; for we had been taught to look off from all creature expectations to the living god. it was on this account that, many times in our prayer meetings during november and the beginning of december, we were led to ask the lord, not to allow us to expect an influx of means because, for the benefit of the church, our circumstances would be made known at the public meetings. and how kind was it of the lord to give us prayer about this, and thus to prepare us beforehand; for had we leaned upon natural expectations, we should have been surely disappointed, as only six days after the meetings we were as poor as ever. by the grace of god we are so acquainted with the heart of our father, that we speak not about these things to excite the compassion of our fellow saints, for we have learned to lean upon god only; but we make known his dealings with us, that others may be led "to taste and see that the lord is good," and to put their trust in him. the sister who left the l. for the orphans, as just alluded to, also left l. for the funds of the other objects, l. to be divided between brother craik and me, and l. for the poor saints. dec. . a solemn day. i received today the information from my father that my brother died on october th. when i saw him in april this year, he was living in open sin, and in disunion with my father. i cannot learn that his end was different from his life, so that i have no comfort in his death.--of all the trials that can befall a believer, the death of an unconverted near relative seems to me one of the greatest. "shall not the judge of all the earth do right?" must be the stay of the believer at such a time, and, by grace, it is my stay now. i know that the lord is glorified in my brother, whatever his end has been: whether in his last hours, like the thief, on the cross, he was saved, or whether he died in sin and unbelief; yet i do, as to myself, desire from my heart to adore that grace which plucked me as a brand out of the burning, many years ago.--may the lord make this event a lasting blessing to me, especially in leading me to earnestness in prayer for my father! dec. . from the st to this day several small donations had come in for the orphans, so that we were supplied as we needed. today there was ten-pence left, after the day�s expenses had been met. one hour after the lord kindly appeared again. l. was sent by q. q. this money came, just after i had prayed for means. dec. . today came in l. s. d., whereby the lord has again helped us to meet the probable expenses of tomorrow. dec. . this evening the lord kindly sent further help, when we were again destitute of the means of providing for tomorrow. i received l. (half for the orphan-fund, and half for the other funds), with ecclesiastes ix. : "whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest." dec. . a sister, having felt herself particularly stirred up about the orphans, as she writes, sent this evening l. five pounds from herself, and l. which had been sent from the east indies. to the lord this is to be ascribed, who, in answer to our prayers, makes these impressions on the hearts of his children. review of the year . . as to the church. brethren and sisters we found in fellowship, when brother craik and i came to bristol. have been admitted into fellowship since, so that the total number would be had there been no changes. but, have fallen asleep. are under church discipline, which is the total number of all the cases of separation from communion within these six years and seven months. have left bristol have left us, but are still in bristol. only within six years and seven months! total . there are therefore only at present in fellowship with us. have been added during the last year, of whom have been brought among us to the knowledge of the truth. ii. as to my temporal supplies the lord has been pleased to give me during the past year: . by the freewill offerings through the boxes £ s. d. . by presents in money from believers in and out of bristol £ s. d. . by money, through family connexion £ s. d. . by presents in clothes, provisions, etc., which were worth to me, at least £ s. d. we have been living for six months, half free of rent whereby we have saved at least £ s. d. altogether £ s. d. during no period of my life had i such need of means, on account of my own long illness and that of my dear wife, and on account of� the many and particular calls for means as during the past year; but also during no period of my life has the lord so richly supplied me. truly, it must be manifest to all that i have served a most kind master, during this year also, and that, even for this life, it is by far the best thing to seek to act according to the mind of the lord, as to temporal things. january st, nd, and rd, . we have had three especial church prayer meetings these three days. the year commenced with mercies. in the first hour of the year there came in for the orphans l. s., which was given after our usual prayer meeting on december , which this time lasted from seven in the evening till after midnight. jan. . since december , came in several donations for the orphans, so that we were supplied, before that which we had in hand was quite gone. on the seventh, however, all our money was again expended, when a brother, from the neighbourhood of london, who, is staying here, gave me l. today, when this l. was given out, i received from london l. s., and s. besides. thus the lord, as our need is, sends help, and all in answer to prayer, without our asking any one. jan. . since the th small donations have again come in, by which we have been helped thus far. this afternoon all which was in hand was given for housekeeping, and i was again penniless. the lord, however, was mindful of this, and in the evening two sovereigns were left anonymously at my house. in the paper was written: "the enclosed are for the use of the orphan-houses, from j. h., who thinks he ought to do something for the institution." j. h. will have in this a proof that the lord touched his heart to give the money, because there was not a penny in hand for those who are the especial care of him who is the "father of the fatherless." jan. . ten small donations have come in since the th, which have enabled us to provide what was needed for the last three days, and also for today.--for some time past it has appeared to me that the words "ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good," which the lord spoke to his disciples, who were themselves very poor, imply that the children of god, as such, have power with god to bring temporal blessings upon poor saints or poor unbelievers, through the instrumentality of prayer. accordingly i have been led to ask the lord for means to assist poor saints; and at different times he has stirred up his children to intrust me with sums both large and small, for that especial object; or has, by some means or other, put money at my disposal, which i might so use. in like manner i had been asking again for means a few days since, to be able more extensively to assist the poor saints in communion with us, as just now many of them are not merely tried by the usual temporal difficulties arising from its being winter, but especially from the high price of bread. and now this evening the lord has given me the answer to my prayer. when i came home from the meeting, i found a brother at my house who offered to give me l. a week, for twelve weeks, towards providing the poor saints with coals and needful articles of clothing, but chiefly with bread. [accordingly this brother sent me two days afterwards l.,--whereby very many, especially poor widows, were greatly assisted, chiefly with flour and bread. this money just lasted till the price of bread was reduced from / d. to / d. thus, for several weeks, about quarterns of bread were distributed weekly, besides what was given in flour, coals, and clothes. i have mentioned this circumstance as an encouragement to those who either have little or nothing at all to give to poor persons, and who yet have a desire to give; and to those who have means, but whose means are not adequate to relieve all the demands made upon them. had we more grace to plead the words of our lord, above referred to, we should receive far more from him to meet the necessities around us.] jan. . a brother formerly an officer in the navy, who for jesus� sake has given up his rank and pay, gave three silver table spoons, three silver forks, and two teaspoons, to be sold for the benefit of the orphans. the produce of them, with l. s. which has come in besides, enabled us to meet the expenses of today and tomorrow. jan. . saturday. the need of the th, th, and of today was supplied, partly, by the little that had been left on the rd; and partly, by five small donations, by s. for the children�s needlework, and by s. which had come in by the sale of two old silk dresses, which had been given for sale. now, when we were again penniless, s. was given me, just after i had been praying for means. jan. . monday morning. we are now quite reduced as to means for the orphans. the little which is in hand has been put by for rent. how the lord will help us through this day, i know not; but i have faith in god. he will help us, though i know not how. by god�s help i purpose not to take a single penny of what is in hand, because it is due for rent.--this morning and afternoon came in from one individual s. d., and from a sister, who earns her bread by needlework, l. there was also l. s. d. taken out of the boxes in the orphan-houses, which our need had led us to open. thus we were helped through the day, and have l. left for tomorrow. jan. . the l. which was left helped us through this day; but in the boys�-orphan-house were no means to take in bread. in the evening eight small loaves were sent by a sister who could not possibly know our need, and thus we were supplied. jan, . a little while after i had been in prayer this morning for means for the orphans, brother t. brought a silver watch and s., which had been given last evening. also, still further, came in this morning five yards of indian muslin, a zephyr scarf, a muslin dress, and a gold locket, to be sold. about two hours afterwards was sent l. the individual who last evening gave the silver watch and s. for the orphans, called on me today. she is a servant, who in the house of her master found the first part of this narrative soon after the publication of the first edition, which the lord used as the means of her conversion. [she fell asleep in jesus, after having been years in fellowship with us.] jan. . there came in this morning s. d. for the orphans. this, with l. in hand, and s. which one of the labourers contributed, was sufficient for this day�s necessities. feb. . there is no money in hand for the orphans. i am waiting on god. just when brother t. had come to tell me that the need for this day would be s. d., one of the labourers in the work came and gave me l. feb. . there are again no means in hand. one of the labourers gave l., but i know not whether l. will be sufficient for the necessities of this day. this i do know, however, that the lord will supply us with more, should more be needed. when i met with the brethren and sisters for prayer, one of the labourers gave his watch, under the condition that l., which was needed besides that which we had in hand, should be taken from the rent money which had been put by, till it could be replaced; and, if otherwise, that the watch should be sold at the end of the quarter. just as we had separated, a sovereign was brought to me, which had been sent to my house since i had left it. this was taken instead of the one which had been advanced upon the watch, and thus a speedy answer was granted to our prayers. we have now been brought to the close of one more week. feb. . lord�s day. a sister sent from her sick bed this evening l. for the orphans, with ecclesiastes ix. . thus the lord has supplied our need for tomorrow. feb. . this afternoon came in two pounds more from the grandmother of two of the orphans, in answer to prayer, and very seasonably, as the coals in one house are quite out, and nearly so in the other two. feb. . today came in s., which supplied the necessities of this day. feb. . only s. d. was needed for today, which one of the labourers gave. feb. . this day has been one of the most remarkable days as it regards the funds. there was no money in hand, i was waiting upon god. i had asked him repeatedly, but no supplies came. brother t. called between and o�clock, to tell me that about l. s. would be needed, to take in bread for the three houses, and to meet the other expenses; but we had only s. d., which yesterday had been taken out of the boxes in the orphan-houses. he went to clifton to make arrangements for the reception of the three orphans of our sister loader, who fell asleep on the th; for though we have no funds in hand, the work goes on, and our confidence is not diminished. i therefore requested him to call on his way back from clifton, to see whether the lord might have sent any money in the mean time. when he came i had received nothing, but one of the labourers, having s. of his own, gave it. it was now four o�clock. i knew not how the sisters had got through the day. just before i went out to preach, s. was brought to my house, which i took as a token for good. i had been asking the lord for a passage of the word to speak from this evening, and at last was directed to matt. vi. - , a subject most applicable to our circumstances. after the meeting was over, i went to the girls�-orphan-house, to meet with the brethren for prayer, and to give the s. which i had received, and to see what could be done. when i arrived there, i found that a box had come for me from barnstaple. the carriage was paid, else there would have been no money to pay for it. (see how the lord�s hand is in the smallest matters!) the box was opened, and it contained, in a letter from a sister, l., of which l. was for the orphans, and l. for the bible fund; from brethren at barnstaple, l. s. d.; and from another brother s. besides this, there were in the box yards of merino, pairs of new shoes, pairs of new socks: also six books for sale. likewise a gold pencil-case, gold rings, gold drops of ear-rings, a necklace, and a silver pencil-case. on inquiry, how the sisters had been carried through the day, i found it thus: everything was in the houses which was needed for dinner. after dinner a lady from thornbury came and bought one of my narratives and one of the reports, and gave s. besides. about five minutes afterwards the baker came to the boys�-orphan-house. the matron of the girls�-orphan-house seeing him, went immediately with the s. d. which she had just received, (to prevent his being sent away, as there was no money in hand at the boys�-orphan-house,) and bought bread to the amount of s. d. the two remaining shillings, with the little which was in hand, served to buy bread for the girls�-orphan-house. by the donations sent in the box, i was enabled to give a rich supply to the matrons before the close of the day. how sweet to see our father thus caring for us! to a person who has spiritual eyes, what a proof is one such day of the most particular providence of god! and we have had many such days. feb. . today the lord sent still further help, which is remarkable for two reasons in particular. first, we had decided yesterday upon receiving the three little loaders, though we were so low as to funds. thus the lord sent means on their behalf. secondly, we were brought so low yesterday, and our faith was so much tried, in order that now again the abundance of supplies out of our loving father�s hand, might be so much the sweeter. a sister in the neighbourhood of london sent today in money l. s., and the following articles for sale; purses, mourning brooch, amber ditto, amethyst stud, cameo ditto, i pair of coral ear rings, coral cross, ring set with a diamond and six rubies, ditto pearl and garnet, ditto garnet, ruby cross, necklaces, and pamphlets and tracts. also several articles of clothing for the children. feb. . since the th, five donations, amounting to l. s., had come in. this afternoon i paid out the last money which we had in hand, and in giving it to brother t. said, we have now again to look to the lord for further supplies. this evening l. was given to me, which had come in under the folio wing circumstances:-- a gentleman and lady visited the orphan-houses, and met at the boys�-orphan-house two ladies who were likewise visiting. one of the ladies said to the matron of the boys�-orphan-house: "of course, you cannot carry on these institutions without a good stock of funds." the gentleman, turning to the matron, said, "have you a good stock?" she replied: "our funds are deposited in a bank which cannot break." the tears came into the eyes of the inquiring lady. the gentleman, on leaving, gave to the master of the boys l., which came in when i had not a penny in hand. feb. . yesterday came in s. d. for the orphans, which, with what was taken out of the boxes today, helped us through; and thus we have been brought to the close of one more week. march . up to this day, since feb. , the supplies for the orphans have come in so seasonably, that we were able comfortably to meet all the demands. today, however, i knew that there would be again several pounds required, as, besides the daily provisions, there were coals needed, the treacle-casks in two houses were empty, and there was but s. in hand. i gave myself therefore to prayer this morning. whilst i was in prayer, q. q. sent a cheque for l. s. thus the lord has again most seasonably helped us out of our difficulty. there came in still further this day, l. s. d., by the sale of some articles, which had been given for the benefit of the orphans. march . for some time past the minds of several brethren among us, as well as that of brother craik and my own, had been much exercised respecting certain questions connected with points of church order and discipline, on account of which brother craik and i were absent from bristol during the last two weeks, to give ourselves to prayer and consideration respecting those points. since our return we have had, these last three evenings, meetings with the saints, before whom we stated the result to which we had been led, after prayer and examination of the scriptures. the following is an abstract of what was stated at those meetings, which i give here, as this matter forms an important period in my experience about church matters; but the abstract will be of little use, except the reader consider carefully the passages to which reference is made. i.--questions respecting the eldership. ( ) how does it appear to be the mind of god, that, in every church, there should be recognized elders? ans. from the following passages compared together, matth. xxiv. , luke xii. . from these passages we learn that some are set by the lord himself in the office of rulers and teachers, and that this office (in spite of the fallen state of the church) should be in being even down to the close of the present dispensation. accordingly, we find from acts xiv. , xx. , tit. i. , and pet. v. , that soon after the saints had been converted, and had associated together in a church character, elders were appointed to take the rule over them and to fulfil the office of under-shepherds. this must not be understood as implying, that, when believers are associated in church fellowship, they ought to elect elders according to their own will, whether the lord may have qualified persons or not; but rather that such should wait upon god, that he himself would be pleased to raise up such as may be qualified for teaching and ruling in his church. ( ) how do such come into office? ans. by the appointment of the holy ghost, acts xx. . ( ) how may this appointment be made known to the individuals called to the office, and to those amongst whom they may be called to labour? ans. by the secret call of the spirit, tim. iii. , confirmed by the possession of the requisite qualifications, tim. iii. - , tit. i. - , and by the lord�s blessing resting upon their labours, cor. ix. . in cor. ix. , paul condescends to the weakness of some, who were in danger of being led away by those factious persons who questioned his authority. as an apostle�appointed by the express word of the lord--he needed not such outward confirmation. but if he used his success as an argument in confirmation of his call, how much more may ordinary servants of the lord jesus employ such an argument, seeing that the way, in which they are called for the work, is such as to require some outward confirmation. ( ) is it incumbent upon the saints to acknowledge such and to submit to them in the lord? ans. yes. see cor. xvi. , , thess. v. , , heb. xiii. , , and tim. v. . in these passages obedience to pastoral authority is clearly enjoined. ii.--ought matters of discipline to be finally settled by the elders in private, or in the presence of the church, and as the act of the whole body? ans. ( ) such matters are to be finally settled in the presence of the church. this appears from matth. xviii. , cor. v. , , cor. ii. - , tim. v. . ( ) such matters are to be finally settled as the act of the whole body, matth. xviii. , . in this passage the act of exclusion is spoken of as the act of the whole body. cor. v. , , , , . in this passage paul gives the direction, respecting the exercise of discipline, in such a way as to render the whole body responsible: verse , "purge out the old leaven, that ye maybe a new lump;" and verse , "therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person." from cor. ii. - , we learn that the act of exclusion was not the act of the elders only, but of the church. "sufficient to such a man is this punishment (rather, public censure) which was inflicted of many." from verse we learn that the act of restoration was to be a public act of the brethren: "wherefore i beseech you that ye would confirm (rather ratify by a public act) your love towards him." as to the reception of brethren into fellowship, this is an act of simple obedience to the lord, both on the part of the elders and the whole church. we are bound and privileged to receive all those who make a credible profession of faith in christ, according to that scripture, "receive ye one another, as christ also received us, to the glory of god." rom. xv. . iii.--when should church acts (such as acts of reception, restoration, exclusion, &c.) be attended to? ans. it cannot be expressly proved from scripture, whether such acts were attended to at the meeting for the breaking of bread, or at any other meeting; therefore this is a point on which, if different churches differ, mutual forbearance ought to be exercised. the way in which such matters have hitherto been managed amongst us has been by the church coming together on a week-evening. before we came to bristol we had been accustomed to this mode, and, finding nothing in scripture against it, we continued the practice. but, after prayer, and more careful consideration of this point, it has appeared well to us that such acts should be attended to on the lord�s days, when the saints meet together for the breaking of bread. we have been induced to make this alteration by the following reasons:-- ( ) this latter mode prevents matters from being delayed. there not being a sufficiency of matter for a meeting on purpose every week, it has sometimes happened, that, what would better have been stated to the church at once, has been kept back from the body for some weeks. now, it is important that what concerns the whole church, should be made known as soon as possible to those who are in fellowship, that they may act accordingly. delay, moreover, seems inconsistent with the pilgrim-character of the people of god. ( ) more believers can be present on the lord�s days than can attend on week evenings. the importance of this reason will appear from considering how everything which concerns the church should be known to as many as possible. for how can the saints pray for those who may have to be excluded,--how can they sympathize in cases of peculiar trial,--and how can they rejoice and give thanks on account of those who may be received or restored, unless they are made acquainted with the facts connected with such cases? ( ) a testimony is thus given that all who break bread are church members. by attending to church acts in the meeting for breaking of bread, we show that we make no difference between receiving into fellowship at the lord�s supper, and into church membership; but that the individual who is admitted to the lord�s table is therewith also received to all the privileges, trials, and responsibilities of church membership. ( ) there is a peculiar propriety in acts of reception, restoration and exclusion being attended to when the saints meet together for the breaking of bread, as, in that ordinance especially, we show forth our fellowship with each other. objections answered. ( ) this alteration has the appearance of changeableness. reply. such an objection would apply to any case in which increased light led to any improvement, and is, therefore, not to be regarded. it would be an evil thing if there were any change respecting the foundation truths of the gospel; but the point in question is only a matter of church order. ( ) more time may thus be required than it would be well to give to such a purpose on the lord�s day. reply. as, according to this plan, church business will be attended to every lord�s day, it is more than probable that the meetings will be thereby prolonged for a few minutes only; but should circumstance required it, a special meeting may still be appointed during the week, for all who break bread with us. this, however, would only be needful, provided the matters to be brought before the brethren were to require more time than could be given to them at the breaking of bread. n.b. ( ) should any persons be present who do not break bread with us, they may be requested to withdraw, whenever such points require to be stated, as it would not be well to speak of in the presence of unbelievers. ( ) as there are two places in which the saints meet for the breaking of bread, the matters connected with church acts must be brought out at each place. iv.--questions relative to the lord�s supper. ( ) how frequently ought the breaking of bread to be attended to? ans. although we have no express command respecting the frequency of its observance, yet the example of the apostles and of the first disciples would lead us to observe this ordinance every lord�s day. acts xx. . ( ) what ought to be the character of the meeting at which the saints are assembled for the breaking of bread? ans. as in this ordinance we show forth our common participation in all the benefits of our lord�s death, and our union to him and to each other ( cor. x. , ,) opportunity ought to be given for the exercise of the gifts of teaching or exhortation, and communion in prayer and praise. rom. xii. � , eph. iv. � . the manifestation of our common participation in each other�s gifts cannot be fully given at such meetings, if the whole meeting is, necessarily, conducted by one individual. this mode of meeting does not however take off from those, who have the gifts of teaching or exhortation, the responsibility of edifying the church, as opportunity may be offered. ( ) is it desirable that the bread should be broken at the lord�s supper by one of the elders, or should each individual of the body break it for himself? ans. neither way can be so decidedly proved from scripture, that we are warranted in objecting to the other as positively unscriptural, yet-- ( ) the letter of scripture seems rather in favour of its being done by each brother and sister, cor. x. , . "the bread which we break." ( ) its being done by each of the disciples, is more fitted to express that we all, by our sins, have broken the body of our lord. ( ) by attending to the ordinance in this way, we manifest our freedom from the common error that the lord�s supper must be administered by some particular individual, possessed of what is called a ministerial character, instead of being an act of social worship and obedience. [before brother craik and i left bristol for the consideration of the above points, things wore a gloomy appearance. a separation in the church seemed to be unavoidable. but god had mercy, and pitied us. he was pleased to give us not merely increased light, but showed us also how to act, and gave us a measure of wisdom, grace and spiritual courage for acting. the clouds were dispelled, and peace was restored in the church.] while i was away from bristol, samuel loader, a little orphan boy, died, after a fortnight�s residence in the house, and only three weeks after his mother�s death. the brethren in the boys-orphan-house consider him to have died in the faith. march . saturday. by the good hand of the lord we are brought to the close of one more week. i have been able to meet all the current expenses for the orphans, and to pay, besides this, l. for salaries. thus a part of what has been due for several weeks to my dear fellow-labourers is defrayed. i have especially prayed within the last ten days that the lord would be pleased to give me the means for this. s. / d. i have left. march . monday. last evening l. came in with eccles. ix. . thus we were again enabled to supply all the necessities of this day. pause a few moments, dear reader! consider how seasonably the lord sends the supplies! not once does he forget us! not once is our need only half supplied! not once do his supplies come too late! dear reader, if you have not the like experience of the lord�s watchful care, oh taste and see that the lord is good! march . the need of the th and th was supplied by the l. which had come in on the th. today we were again poor and needy, therefore the lord thought on us, and sent us l. l s. / d. march . some trinkets which had been given, and s. which was in hand, supplied the need of today. yesterday were sent six sacks of potatoes. we were not able to lay in a stock last autumn (as we had done the two previous autumns) on account of want of means, but in no previous year have we had so many sent. march . today i received a letter from brother t., who is on account of his health in devonshire, to inform me that a heavy gold chain, a ring set with ten brilliants, a pair of gold bracelets, and l. have been given to him. he gave a report to a brother, who, having read it, was thereby stirred up to prayer, and knowing that his believing sister possessed these trinkets, he asked the lord to incline her heart to give them up for the benefit of our orphans, which she soon after did. by means of these donations i am able both to meet the remaining expenses of this week, and also to pay l., which still remains due on account of the salaries. my fellow-labourers not only never ask me for any thing, but are willing to part with money, or any thing else in the hour of need; nevertheless, i had asked the lord about this point frequently, and he has now given me my request, whereof i am glad. i received also this afternoon l. s., besides a number of things to be disposed of for the orphans. march . the lord has again kindly opened his liberal hand today, and given us l. s. thus we have wherewith to meet the necessities of tomorrow in the orphan-houses. from march to april , came in about sixty small donations. this, with the produce of the sale of the trinkets, supplied all our need for the orphans. april . our funds were now again spent, except s., though three days ago above l. had come in; therefore the lord has sent in again this day several contributions, altogether l. s. april . the money which came in yesterday was sent off today for housekeeping in the three different houses, and when i was now again left penniless, there came in l. s. d. april . the l. s. d. was given out today for housekeeping, and i am once more penniless.--a few hours after i had written this, there was given to me by a brother l. s. when i received this money, i was at the same time informed of the death of one of our sisters, a widow, whose child we can receive. april . today was sent anonymously from the country l. in the evening i received still further l. l s. d. april . it is three years today since the first orphans were received. good indeed has the lord been to us during these three years! we have lacked nothing! again he has sent this day, in a remarkable manner, l., with the following letter, addressed to a brother: "my dear friend, enclosed are l. for the orphan-asylum, the history of which is rather interesting. we have a servant who lived some years ago as kitchen-maid in a noble family (i. e. the master a wealthy member of parliament, the mistress an earl�s daughter.) no perquisites were allowed; but the individual in question acted on the same principle as her fellow-servants, and sold kitchen-stuff for her own benefit, which she thinks might amount to l.; and therefore she believes that l. would fully repay principal and interest. this money is of course due to her former master and mistress, with whom i have had several interviews on the subject. they were disposed that the money should be given to some charity; and in consequence of reading one of the reports you kindly sent me, the young woman had a great desire that her own repentance might yield fruit to that work of faith and love. her wishes have been sanctioned by her former mistress. it is rather remarkable that our truly christian servant had been converted a year and a half, before this individual sin, calling for pecuniary restitution, had come into her remembrance." april . i conversed with another of the orphans, who seems to have been truly converted, and who has walked consistently for many months. tomorrow she will be united with the saints in communion. she will be the third in fellowship with us, and several have died in the faith. how has the lord owned the work, even in this respect! april . today l. s. d. came in for the orphans, l. of which is one of the most remarkable gifts that we have ever had. a poor brother, with a large family, and small wages (there are eight in the family, and he had s. wages till lately, when they were raised to s.) put by this money by little and little of what was given him by his master for beer. this brother, who was converted about five years ago, was before that time a notorious drunkard. april . today our dear young brother, john short, only a little more than years old, fell asleep, after having been for several years ill. he had been for several years converted. he was one of our sunday-school children before his illness. when, many months since, he lost one of his limbs by amputation, he glorified the lord not merely by the way in which he sustained the severe suffering attending the operation, but also by confessing the lord, as his strength, in the hour of trial. he was a sweet youth! july . today was given me, when there was not one shilling in hand, l. for the school�bible�and missionary-fund. july . monday. today l. s. d. was needed for the orphans, but we had nothing. how to obtain the means for a dinner, and for what else was needed, i knew not. my heart was perfectly at peace, and unusually sure of help, though i knew not in the least whence it was to come. before brother t. came, i received a letter from india, written in may, with an order for l. for the orphans. i had said last saturday to brother t., that it would be desirable to have l., as the salaries of all my fellow-labourers are due, the three treacle-casks empty, all the provision stores exhausted, several articles of clothing needed, and worsted for the boys to go on with their knitting. now the lord has sent exactly l. moreover this money comes very seasonably, as in three days i shall have to leave bristol for some days, and can now go comfortably, as it regards leaving means behind. [in the afternoon of this same day i met at a brother�s house with several believers, when a sister said that she had often thought about the care and burden i must have on my mind, as it regards obtaining the necessary supplies for so many persons. as this may not be a solitary instance, i would state, that, by the grace of god, this is no cause of anxiety to me. the children i have years ago cast upon the lord. the whole work is his, and it becomes me to be without carefulness. in whatever points i am lacking, in this point i am able, by the grace of god, to roll the burden upon my heavenly father. though now (july ) for about seven years our funds have been so exhausted, that it has been comparatively a rare case that there have been means in hand to meet the necessities of the orphans for three days together; yet have i been only once tried in spirit, and that was on sept. , , when for the first time the lord seemed not to regard our prayer. but when he did send help at that time, and i saw that it was only for the trial of our faith, and not because he had forsaken the work that we were brought so low, my soul was so strengthened and encouraged, that i have not only not been allowed to distrust the lord since that time, but i have not even been cast down when in the deepest poverty. nevertheless, in this respect also am i now, as much as ever, dependant on the lord; and i earnestly beseech for myself and my fellow-labourers the prayers of all those, to whom the glory of god is dear. how great would be the dishonour to the name of god, if we, who have so publicly made our boast in him, should so fall as to act in these very points as the world does! help us then, brethren, with your prayers, that we may trust in god to the end. we can expect nothing but that our faith will yet be tried, and it may be more than ever; and we shall fall, if the lord does not uphold us.] july and . these two days we have had two especial prayer meetings, to commend to the lord five german brethren who for some weeks have been sojourning among us, and who purpose to leave tomorrow for liverpool, to sail from thence to the east indies. july . i left this morning with the german brethren, to accompany them to liverpool. july . liverpool. this afternoon i preached in the open air on the docks. truly, it must be a sweet privilege to be permitted frequently to proclaim the glad tidings of the gospel in the open air, which the lord does not bestow upon me, as, under ordinary circumstances, i have no strength for this work.--the people were attentive. there was but one who mocked. july . preached again out of doors. july . i accompanied the five brethren on board this afternoon. july . today i had another remarkable proof of the importance of the children of god opening their hearts to each other, especially when they are getting into a cold state, or are under the power of a certain sin, or are in especial difficulty. an individual called on me, who i trust is a brother, with whom i had conversed once before, but felt uncomfortable respecting him. when he called again today, it appeared to me that there was something upon his heart, which, if i could but know, i might be instrumental in benefiting him. i pressed him affectionately to open his heart, assuring him at the same time that the matter which he might speak of should remain in my own bosom. at last i succeeded. [the result of this conversation was, that the advice which i gave him, led him, after three days, to leave for america, where he ought to have been, instead of being in england; and if he has followed my advice, in one other point, the matter which for years had burdened his conscience, and which, no doubt had been the means of keeping him in a low spiritual state, will have no more power over him. should this fall into the hands of any children of god who have a particular trial or burden, or a guilty conscience, on account of a particular thing, or a besetting sin, etc., on account of which it would be beneficial to open their hearts to another child of god, in whose love, spiritual judgment, etc., they have confidence, i would advise them to do so. i know from my own experience, how often the snare of the devil has been broken, when under the power of sin; how often the heart has been comforted, when nigh to be overwhelmed; how often advice, under great perplexity, has been obtained,--by opening my heart to a brother in whom i had confidence. we are children of the same family, and ought therefore to be helpers one of another.] aug. . £ . s. was required to meet the necessities of the orphan-houses this day. the lord enabled us to meet this demand, partly, by the sale of some indian muslin, which had been given some months since, but which was only now disposed of; partly, by a few small donations; and partly, by what one of the labourers added of his own. [we have often found that the money for articles, which were put out to be sold, has come in most seasonably. at this time it happened so that a brother, into whose hands the muslin had been put, felt himself stirred up to go and ask the individual who had it for sale whether she had disposed of it. this brother knew nothing about our need at that time.] aug. . monday. on saturday and yesterday morning i had repeatedly asked the lord to send us help, as there was not a penny in hand for the need of today. yesterday morning a brother gave me two sovereigns, and in the evening i received two more. besides this, there was l. s. anonymously given for three weeks� rent for the orphan-houses, also s. by a brother, and s. came in for needlework of the children; so that altogether l. s. came in yesterday. this evening i took tea with a sister who purposes to leave bristol tomorrow for van diemen�s land. [for the comfort of any saints, who may be similarly situated, i mention the following circumstance. the son of this sister was transported many years since. in the course of time he obtained a business of his own in van diemen�s land, and wished his mother to come to him. the mother went, and had, in answer to the prayers of the saints, a prosperous voyage. when she arrived, she found her son truly converted. what a joy for the long and deeply afflicted mother! what remarkable means the lord uses to bestow blessings! moreover, to mark that the lord had sent her to her son, she found that a month before her arrival his wife had died, and that she therefore reached him just at the right time, both on account of his children and his business.] aug. . today again about l. was needed for housekeeping at the orphan-houses, which the lord had sent in since the day before yesterday, so that we were able to meet all the demands. aug. . today l. s. was needed, but only s. had come in. the deficiency was supplied by one of the labourers giving a sovereign of his own. though there is no money in hand, yet are we so little discouraged, that we have received today one orphan boy, and have given notice for the admission of six other children, which will bring the number up to altogether. aug. . only s. had come in since yesterday, and as s. were needed, one of the labourers gave a sovereign. aug. . saturday. the need of today is l. s. but only s, has been given since yesterday. one of the labourers, having l., gave it, and thus our need was supplied. aug. . monday. the lord has again kindly sent l. of this sum l. came in from q. q., when again there was not one penny in hand. we have now supplies for about four days. aug. . today was very seasonably sent a whole piece of calico and a piece of print. aug. . all our money is now again gone. today l. s. was needed, but only s. was in hand. one of the labourers was able to add a sovereign, and thus we were helped. aug. . saturday. l. was needed today, but only s. d. had come in. the remaining l. l s. d. one of the labourers gave. thus we were helped to the close of another week. aug. . monday. this has been again a day in which our faith has been particularly tried; but even this day we have not been confounded. not one penny was in hand when the day began. we had therefore now, for more than one hundred persons, again to look to the lord. but this i must say, to the praise of the lord, my soul was perfectly at peace. i meant to have gone very early to the orphan-houses to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer; but, as one person after the other called upon me, i was kept from it the whole morning. when brother t. called upon me between and o�clock for money, i had none to give. in the afternoon at four i was able to meet with the brethren and sisters. when i came to the girls�-orphan-house, i found that one of those children, for the reception of whom we had given notice, had been brought from bath, and with him was sent l. s. after the meeting was over, one of the labourers gave s. by means of this l. s. we were able for this day also to provide every thing needful. aug. . when we met together this morning for prayer, only one shilling had come in since yesterday, and l. at least was needed to meet the expenses of this day. after prayer, one of the labourers gave s., and s. / d. was taken out of one of the boxes. this s. / d. was divided to meet the momentary need. about an hour afterwards, l. s. came in, being the payment, in part, of articles which had been sold several months since. aug. . nothing had come in since yesterday. s. would have been needed to have taken in the usual quantity of bread. after we had prayed, the same labourer who had contributed yesterday and the day before, gave today s. more. this helped us to buy milk; but in one of the houses the usual quantity of bread could not be taken in. i have further to notice respecting this time of trial, that i had purposed to have gone yesterday to bath, to meet today and tomorrow with several brethren, who are met there from various parts of the country, to unite in prayer for the present spiritual necessities of the church at large. however, on account of our present need in the orphan-houses, i could not go yesterday, as i did not think it right to let my fellow-labourers bear the trial alone. today also i have been kept here, as our poverty is greater than ever. yet (the lord be praised!) neither have the children in the least lacked this day, nor has my mind been in any degree disturbed. my fellow-labourers also seem quite in peace. we are waiting for deliverance, and we are sure that the lord, in his own time, will send it. aug. . in my morning walk, when i was reminding the lord of our need, i felt assured that he would send help this day. my assurance sprang from our need; for there seemed no way to get through the day, without help being sent. after breakfast i considered whether there was any thing which might be turned into money for the dear children. among other things, there came under my hands a number of religious pamphlets which had been given for the benefit of the orphans; but all seemed not nearly enough, to meet the necessities of the day, in this our deep poverty, after i had gathered together the few things for sale, a sister, who earns her bread by the labour of her hands, brought l. this sister had seen it to be binding upon believers in our lord jesus to act out his commandments: "sell that ye have (sell your possessions) and give alms," luke xii. ; and "lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth," matt. vi. . accordingly she had drawn her money out of the bank and stocks, being l., and had brought it to me at three different times for the benefit of the orphans, the bible�missionary�and school-fund, and the poor saints, about two months ago she brought me l. more, being the produce of some other possession which she had sold, the half of which was to be used for the school�bible-and missionary fund; and the other half for the poor saints. this l. which she had brought today, is the produce of the sale of her last earthly possession.--[at the time i am preparing the seventh edition for the press, more than twenty-nine years have passed away, and this sister has never expressed the least regret as to the step she took, but goes on, quietly labouring with her hands, to earn her bread.]--but even now, when this money was given, i left it in the hands of the lord, whether any part of it should be applied for the orphans. i asked the sister, therefore, whether she wished the money to be spent in any particular way, as she had expressed her wish about the former sums. this time she left it with me, to lay out the money as i thought best. i took, therefore, half of it for the orphans, and half for the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. i have thus been enabled to come to bath, (after i had sent a more than usual supply to the matrons), to meet, at least for the remaining time, with the brethren who are assembled here for prayer. before the day is over, i have received l. more, while at bath, from one of the brethren who are assembled here; so that our deep poverty, in the morning, has been turned into a comparative abundance. aug. . the lord has sent still further supplies. another of the brethren gave me this morning l., and a third, with whom i drove back to bristol, l. from aug. to sept. , there came in above l. more. sept. . i have been led to pray whether it is the lord�s will that i should leave bristol for a season, as i have for the last fortnight been suffering from indigestion, by which my whole system is weakened, and thus the nerves of my head are more than usually affected. there are, however, two hindrances in the way, want of means for the orphans, and want of means for my own personal expenses.--today i have received a cheque from q. q. for l. s. for the orphans, which came, therefore, very seasonably. also l. besides has came in since the day before yesterday. sept. . today a sister sent me l. for myself, to be used for the benefit of my health. she had heard that my health is again failing. i do not lay by money for such purposes; but whenever i really need means, whether for myself or others, the lord sends them, in answer to prayer; for he had in this case again given me prayer respecting means for myself and for the orphans, that my way might be made plain as to leaving bristol for a season. sept. . my body is now so weak, and my head again so affected in consequence of it, and i have found it needful to give up the work at once. i left today for trowbridge, for three days, intending afterwards to go with my wife into devonshire, if the lord permit. sept. . trowbridge. this has been a very good day. i have had much communion with the lord. how kind to take me from the work at bristol for a season, to give me more communion with himself. i remembered the lord�s especial goodness to me in this place, at the commencement of last year. how kind has he also been since! i prayed much for myself, for the church at large, for the saints here and in bristol, for my unconverted relatives, for my dear wife, and that the lord would supply my own temporal necessities and those of the orphans:--and i know that he has heard me.--i am surrounded with kind friends in the dear saints, under whose roof i am, and feel quite at home. my room is far better than i need; yet an easy chair, in this my weak state of body, to kneel before in prayer, would have added to my comfort. in the afternoon, without having given a hint about it, i found an easy chair put into my room. i was struck with the kindness, the especial kindness of my heavenly father, in being mindful of the smallest wants and comforts of his child.--having had more prayer than usual, i found that my intercourse with the saints at tea was with unction, and more than usually profitable. but this very fact reminds me of my sad deficiencies, and of my great lack of real fervency of spirit. may the lord carry on his work with power in my soul! today i had l. given to me, half for the orphans, and half for the other funds. thus the lord has begun to answer my prayers; for i expect far more. sept. . lord�s day. i assembled with a few saints at trowbridge, and spoke to them in the morning and evening with much assistance. the afternoon i spent at home over the word and in prayer. god has evidently blessed the word. he had a purpose in sending me here, both for blessing to myself and to others. sept. . this morning i conversed with a poor aged sister in the lord, who for years has been a believer, but who, from want of settling by the written word only, whether she is a believer or not, has often had doubts about her state before god. however, i brought the scriptures only before her. [my pressing the scriptures alone upon her heart, was made such a blessing, that i hear she has not doubted in the same way since.] this aged sister told me she often prays for the orphans, and for the continuance of means. how many helpers has the christian in the conflict; yet all are strengthened by one who is always for us! this evening i returned to bristol, to go from hence tomorrow to exeter, if the lord permit, on account of my health. i had been earnestly asking the lord, while i was staying at trowbridge, that he would be pleased to send in supplies for the orphans, before i go into devonshire, and i had the fullest assurance that means would come in before i left bristol. i therefore asked my wife, on my return, how much had come in, and found that it was only l. s. / d. this was not nearly as much as i had expected, and would not answer the end for which i had particularly asked means, i. e. that i might be able to leave enough for several days. my reply therefore was, according to the faith given to me, and judging from the earnestness and confidence of my prayer, that the lord would send more before i left. about an hour after, brother craik brought me l., which he had received this evening with ecclesiastes ix. , and also a letter from a brother at ilfracombe, in which the arrival of a large box, full of articles, to be sold for the benefit of the orphans, is announced. thus the lord has dealt with me according to my faith. sept. . this morning before i left bristol came in still further l. l s. d., so that i had about l. to leave behind for the present need. i found also, on opening the box which has arrived, books, a brace of valuable pistols, and a great many articles of east india linen. how kind of the lord to send these supplies just now! after my departure from bristol i continued to help my fellow-labourers by my prayers. i had the fullest assurance that the lord would help them, and my hope was not ashamed, as will appear from the following part of the journal.--in the evening of sept. th, we arrived in exeter, where we were lodged by a brother, who on the following day left for plymouth. the love of this brother constrained us to remain for five days at his house, though he was absent, leaving us all the house with a sister, as a servant, to ourselves. though at another time i should have preferred the opportunity of having intercourse with this brother, yet now, in this my weak state of body, the being left alone was the very thing which suited me. i could not but trace the kind hand of god in this circumstance. i was able to speak twice publicly while in exeter. i rejoiced at what i saw there of the work of god. this city was in the year especially laid on my heart, when i used frequently to preach there; but then there was a great spiritual deadness. from sept. th to sept. th we were at teignmouth my former field of labour. i had not seen the brethren, among whom i used to labour, since may, . the lord gave me strength, many times to minister in the word among them, during the time of my stay there. at teignmouth also, i had, in some respects, reason to be glad, particularly in that i saw some of those truths practised, and that more fully and intelligently, which, though in much weakness and indistinctly, i had sought to set forth whilst labouring there. at teignmouth also, as well as in exeter, the saints showed us much love. a brother and sister lodged us during the whole of our stay. may the lord reward them for their love!--while i was at teignmouth i received on sept. th, the following letter from brother t., in reference to the work in bristol:-- bristol, sept. , . my dear brother, i have delayed writing until now, that, as i hoped, i might have additional news to tell you after the lord�s day. and now that my hope has been made good, i rejoice to do so. the lord has dealt most graciously with us since your departure. the children, brother b. and the sisters are well, and the wants of the orphans have been abundantly supplied. there has come in altogether l. s. d., &c. on sept. th, i received another letter from brother t., dated bristol, sept. rd, in which he writes: "it rejoices me that i have still nothing but the goodness of the lord to tell you of. that little word �ebenezer� is at once our encouragement and our daily song, of which we are not weary. i have received since the last information you had from me l. l s. / d., besides l. s. for the rent of the orphan-houses." on sept. th, while i was at teignmouth, a brother asked me about the funds for the orphans, being willing to help, and i had reason to believe considerably, if they were in need. though i knew not for a certainty that there was one shilling in hand in bristol, yet for the lord�s sake i declined telling him any thing about the funds, in order that the work might evidently be carried on by dealing with the lord himself. on sept. th we left teignmouth for plymouth, being taken by the love of a brother from teignmouth to newton bushel in his own little carriage. at plymouth we found again a kind brother waiting at the coach office, to receive us. he took us to his house and lodged us till our departure, on oct. th. during my stay at plymouth, i was stirred up afresh to early rising, a blessing, the results of which i have not lost since. that which led me to it was the example of the brother in whose house i was staying, and a remark which he made in speaking on the sacrifices in leviticus, "that as not the refuse of the animals was to be offered up, so the best part of our time should be especially given to communion with the lord." i had been, on the whole, rather an early riser during former years. but since the nerves of my head had been so weak, i thought, that, as the day was long enough for my strength, it would be best for me not to rise early, in order that thus the nerves of my head might have the longer quiet. on this account i rose only between six and seven, and sometimes after seven. for the same reason also i brought myself purposely into the habit of sleeping a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, after dinner: as i thought i found benefit from it, in quieting the nerves of my head. in this way, however, my soul had suffered more or less every day, and sometimes considerably, as now and then unavoidable work came upon me before i had had sufficient time for prayer and reading the word. after i had heard the remark to which i have alluded, i determined, that whatever my body might suffer, i would no longer let the most precious part of the day pass away while i was in bed. by the grace of god i was enabled to begin the very next day to rise earlier, and have continued to rise early since that time. i allow myself now about seven hours� sleep, which, though i am far from being strong, and have much to tire me mentally, i find is quite sufficient to refresh me. in addition to this i gave up the sleeping after dinner. the result has been that i have thus been able to procure long and precious seasons for prayer and meditation before breakfast; and, as to my body, and the state of the nervous system in particular, i have been much better since. indeed i believe that the very worst thing i could have done for my weak nerves was, to have lain an hour or more longer in bed than i used to do before my illness; for it was the very way to keep them weak.--as this may fall into the hands of some children of god who are not in the habit of rising early, i make a few more remarks on the subject. i. it might be asked, how much time shall i allow myself for rest? the answer is, that no rule of universal application can be given, as all persons do not require the same measure of sleep, and also the same persons, at different times, according to the strength or weakness of their body, may require more or less. females also, being generally weaker in body, require more sleep than males. yet, from what i can learn, it is the opinion of medical persons, that men in health do not require more than between six and seven hours sleep, and females no more than between seven and eight hours; so that it would be rather an exception, for a man to require more than seven and a woman more than eight hours. but my decided advice, at the same time, is, that children of god should be careful not to allow themselves too little sleep, as there are few men who can do with less than six hours sleep, and yet be well in body and mind, and few females who can do with less than seven hours. certain it is that for a long time, as a young man before i went to the university, i went to bed regularly at ten and rose at four, studied hard, and was in good health; and certain also, that since i have allowed myself only about seven hours, from the time of my visit at plymouth in oct. , i have been much better in body, and in my nerves in particular, than when i was eight or eight hours and a half in bed. ii. if it be asked, but why should i rise early? the reply is, to remain too long in bed is . waste of time, which is unbecoming a saint, who is bought by the precious blood of jesus, with his time and all he has, to be used for the lord. if we sleep more than is needful for the refreshment of the body, it is wasting the time with which the lord has intrusted us as a talent, to be used for his glory, for our own benefit, and the benefit of the saints and the unbelievers around us. . to remain too long in bed injures the body. just as when we take too much food, we are injured thereby, so as it regards sleep. medical persons would readily allow, that, the lying longer in bed than is needful for the strengthening of the body, does weaken it. . it injures the soul. the lying too long in bed, not merely keeps us from giving the most precious part of the day to prayer and meditation, but this sloth leads also to many other evils.--any one need but make the experiment of spending one, two, or three hours in prayer and meditation before breakfast, either in his room, or with his bible in his hand in the fields, and he will soon find out the beneficial effect which early rising has upon the outward and inward man. i beseech all my brethren and sisters into whose hand this may fall, and who are not in the habit of rising early, to make the trial, and they will praise the lord for having done so. iii. it may lastly be said, but how shall i set about rising early? my advice is, . commence at once, delay it not. tomorrow begin to rise. . but do not depend upon your own strength. this may be the reason why, before this, you may have begun to rise early, but have given it up. as surely as you depend upon your own strength in this matter, it will come to nothing. in every good work we depend upon the lord, and in this thing we shall feel especially how weak we are. if any one rises that he may give the time which he takes from sleep, to prayer and meditation, let him be sure that satan will try to put obstacles in the way. . do trust in the lord for help, you will honour him, if you expect help from him in this matter. give yourself to prayer for help, expect help, and you will have it. . use, however, in addition to this, the following means: a, go early to bed. if you stay up late, you cannot rise early. let no society and no pressure of engagements keep you from going habitually early to bed. if you fail in this, you neither can nor ought to get up early, as your body requires rest. keep also particularly in mind, that neither for the body nor the soul is it the same thing, whether you go to bed late and rise late, or whether you go to bed early and rise early. even medical persons will tell you how injurious it is to sit up late, and to spend the morning hours in bed; but how much more important still is it to retire early and to rise early, in order to make sure of time for prayer and meditation before the business of the day commences, and to devote to those exercises that part of our time, when the mind and the body are most fresh, in order thus to obtain spiritual strength for the conflict, the trials, and the work of the day. b, let some one call you, if possible, at the time which you have determined before god that you will rise; or procure, what is still better, an alarum, by which you may regulate almost to a minute the time when you wish to rise. for about s. a little german clock, with an alarum, may be bought almost in every town. though i have very many times been awakened by the lord, in answer to prayer, almost to the minute when i desired to rise; yet i thought it well to procure an alarum, to assist me in my purpose of rising early: not indeed as if it could give the least help, without the lord�s blessing, for i should remain in bed, notwithstanding the noise of the alarum, were he not to give me grace to rise; but simply looking upon it as a means. c, rise at once when you are awake. remain not a minute longer in bed, else you are likely to fall asleep again. d, be not discouraged by feeling drowsy and tired in consequence of your rising early. this will soon wear off. you will after a few days feel yourself stronger and fresher than when you used to lie an hour or two longer than you needed. e, allow yourself always the same hours for sleep. make no change, except sickness oblige you. . plymouth, oct. . today my soul was again especially drawn out in prayer for the dear orphans. i not merely asked the lord that he would still continue to supply their need, but i was so fully assured that he had sent the necessary means since i last heard, that i was enabled to praise him for having done so. immediately after i had praised him, but while i was yet on my knees, came another letter from brother t., dated bristol, sept. , in which he writes thus: "the lord�s help has been graciously continued to us since i wrote last. ever since your absence, the supplies have come in so seasonably, that i have not had occasion, until now, of opening the boxes in the orphan-houses. there came in, since my last account, from a sister s. d., with ecclesiastes ix. , l.. s. d., through mr. c. of bath, l. s. d., from the boxes s. / d., from a. m. b. s. some apples besides have been given, some old clothes, and a large bath to be sold or used. i gave on thursday to the sisters l., and today for the boys�-orphan-house l. s. after this i have in hand l. s. / d., to be multiplied as the lord wills. i had written thus far, and was on the point of writing that we expected sister e. home this evening, when the door-bell rang, and sister e. came in, bringing a little packet of money, directed to you, from hereford, enclosing a letter and ten sovereigns "for your labours of faith and love;" so that the remainder of the barrel of meal has been multiplied somewhat already. it is most seasonable help! it rejoices me that it has come in time, for you to have the intelligence with this letter. i have in hand l s. for the other funds, therefore it seems well to me, if it should be needed before i hear from you, to take only l. for the orphans; but, if it pleases the lord to enable us to do without, i shall leave it untouched until you write. in addition to what i have written, i have just received s. and l. s. d. how gracious!" the time from october th to the th i spent among the brethren at bideford and barnstaple, with great refreshment to my own soul, and was also allowed by the lord to minister to them. the whole of my stay among the children of god in devonshire has been very profitable to me. may my soul not lose the blessing of it! how the lord uses our infirmity of body for the blessing of our souls! in my case also it was instrumental in communicating blessing to others. i was able to speak more frequently in public, while absent from bristol, than i should have done under ordinary circumstances, had i remained in bristol. barnstaple, oct. . the day before yesterday i had s. given to me here for the orphans; and yesterday l., which came in most seasonably, as will appear from the following letter which i received this evening from brother t. bristol, oct. th, . "my dear brother, we have continued to enjoy the gracious help of the lord since i last wrote to you. nearly up to that time the supplies had come in so seasonably, that the previous disbursements had scarcely ever been expended, before i was again able to make a fresh one. since then, however, we have been twice a little straitened. on friday evening we were in prospect of saturday�s necessities, and had nothing to meet them, except the money about which i was in doubt from not having received directions from you. i had already used l. out of the l. which had been sent, and now, after waiting till it was actually needed, we thought it an indication, as none had been sent, that this should all go to the orphan-houses. on monday again more money was needed than i had in hand, but we were in expectation of help. after dinner, as nothing had come in, i thought it well to open the boxes, thinking, that, although i had opened them so recently, i had no right to presume that the lord had not had time to pour into them. the expectation was not in vain; for in the box at the boys�-orphan-house i found l. s. / d., in the box at the girls�-orphan-house s. d. at the latter place i met sister a. who gave me s. for things that she had sold. thus we were most graciously helped through monday. then, in the evening, at the meeting i received from sister b. s., and through sister c. s. i had opened the box at the infant-orphan-house on monday, and found it empty. but today, finding the s. insufficient, and being told that something had been put in, i opened it, and found s. d., which nicely helped us through. and we are now looking to the lord for more. in the mean time i shall this morning attend to the sale of whatever has been given to be sold. it comforts us to know you are praying for us," &c. the money which i had received yesterday and the day before yesterday here, at barnstaple, and two weeks ago at teignmouth, enabled me now to send off at once l. on oct. th i returned to bristol, with renewed strength, for active service. oct. . bristol. the lord has been again very gracious as it regards the funds; for during the last three days, while i was at barnstaple, i received from a sister s., two rings, and a brooch. from another sister a gold watch, to be sold for the orphans. from a brother a seal, two ear-rings, and a brooch. from a third sister sixteen books to be sold; also l., the produce of a veil. from a fourth sister l. s., and from a fifth l., and from five others s. d. in addition to this i found when i came home, that though my fellow-labourers had been greatly tried a few days previous to my return, so much so, that, when the l. arrived which i sent from barnstaple, they were in greater poverty than they ever had been; yet, within the last days, several pounds had come in, and yesterday, over and above all this, arrived l. from london for some articles which had been sent there to be sold. what can we render unto the lord for all his benefits! oct. . the lord is still pouring in bountifully! this morning l. was sent from worcester, and a sister brought l., being the produce of the sale of ladies� baskets, which she and some other sisters are making for the benefit of the orphans. this last case shows what various means the lord uses to provide for our need; yet all comes without one single individual being asked to give help; for to the lord alone we speak about our need. we are now again comparatively rich, i. e. we have means in hand to meet the current expenses of about eight days, which has been only two or three times the case during the last fifteen months. oct. . a little boy brought me a letter, given to him by a gentleman and lady in the street, as he said, to take to my house. the letter contained these words with a five pound note: "the enclosed l. accept for the benefit of the orphans, in the name of the lord jesus." nov. . today an orphan was brought from bath, and a lady sent by her servant, the aunt of the child, a sovereign for the orphans, when there was but s. d. in hand. it has been thus repeatedly, that when orphans have been brought, and we had no money, or scarcely any, that the lord sent a little with these poor children. it never is with us any question, whether there is much or little money in hand, so far as it regards the reception of children; but only, whether there is room. nov. . we are now again quite poor. the lord gave us to know more than usually from oct. th to oct. st what it is to abound, and now we know again what it is to be poor. it would have been desirable to have had l. today, but only l. s. d, was in hand, which i sent off. in our need we were led to open the boxes in the orphan-houses, which had not been done for some weeks, and in them was found s. / d. to this one of the labourers added s. by this l. s. / d. we could meet those expenses which needed to be met, and we were thus helped through the day. nov. . saturday. l. s. d. was required today, in order comfortably to meet the present demands, but not one penny was in hand. between ten and eleven i went to the girls�-orphan-house, to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. only s. had come in. this was all i could leave. there was every thing in the houses which was required for the moment, and i proposed that we should meet again for prayer in the afternoon at four. when we did so, one of the labourers gave s. d., another s., another s. d., so that i had as much to give to the matrons as would provide comfortably all the necessaries for the children till monday morning; only the usual quantity of bread could not be taken in. about half an hour, after we had separated, came in l. s., the produce of the sale of a shawl, which a sister from devonshire had given for that purpose some days since. thus we had altogether l. s., whereas when the day commenced we had no natural prospect of any thing. this is a new sweet encouragement. besides this, our father has given us another proof of his continued care, in that twenty sacks of potatoes and a small barrel of herrings have been sent for the orphans. nov. . monday morning. yesterday, when, as just related, there was not a penny in hand, there was given to me, with ecclesiastes ix. , ten shillings. this morning came in l. s, more, soon afterwards a note was sent to me from the orphan-houses, to say that the need of today would be l. just while i was reading the note i received another, including a sovereign, which a sister from devonshire had given to one of the brethren for the orphans. thus i had just the l. which was needed. a few minutes after came in s. more. nov. . the need of today was l. as only s. had been left in hand yesterday, and no more than s. had come in, we were again in a strait. but i was not looking at the little in hand, but at the fulness of god. i sent off the little which i had. in the afternoon we met for prayer. i then found that s. d. had been taken out of the box in the infant-orphan-house, and that s. more had come in by the sale of some old books. to this one of the labourers added s. d., all she had of her own. after prayer came in s. d., which had been given while we were in prayer. in the evening we met again for prayer, when another labourer gave s. d. thus, in our deep poverty, we got together this day l. s. d., which supplied our absolute necessities. we were this afternoon so reduced, till the lord sent a little help, that there were no means to provide breakfast for tomorrow, for the children in the boys�-orphan-house. nov. . nothing has come in. our need is even greater today than yesterday, on account of our not having been able yesterday to take in the usual quantity of provisions. in this our need i packed up the books, which had been intended for sale on aug. , when the lord sent such a rich, supply, before they were actually disposed of. to them one of the labourers added some of his own, and a few other articles. also some old jackets, which had been sent, were packed up to be disposed of. at twelve i met with my fellow-labourers for prayer. there was every thing in the houses which was needed for dinner, but there were no means to get milk for tea. (the children have milk and water at tea time.) three of my helpers went out to dispose of the articles. at four in the afternoon i received the information that s. had come in, for some of the things which were disposed of. one of my fellow-labourers had besides disposed of an article of his own for l. s. this l. s. enabled us to take in bread as usual, and to defray the other necessary expenses. we had never been lower in means than yesterday and today. yet my soul, thanks to the lord! was also yesterday and today in perfect peace. my helpers seem also quite in peace. this evening i received s. d., and s. with ecclesiastes ix. . this little money is as precious, as at other times l. would have been, because it is a fresh proof that our father still cares for us. the money was given to me just after i had been speaking on these words: "but i am poor and needy; yet the lord thinketh upon me." whilst speaking i was able, in a measure, to realize the preciousness of the truth contained in those words, and after speaking my father gave me a fresh proof that he is thinking upon me. nov. . i took the s. d. which was given last evening, early this morning, to the orphan-houses, where i found that s. d. had come in by the sale of a hebrew old and a greek new testament, which a brother had given who had more than one copy; and s. d. for another book. this l. s. d. has been divided, in the hope that our kind father will remember us before the day is over, and send in more. this afternoon, when we met for prayer, i found that s. more had come in for some articles which had been sold. we have had thus l. s. d. this day to divide for housekeeping. by the good hand of the lord upon us, there has been every thing really needful. may the lord look upon us, and help us further! surely, he will do it! nov. . we are still in deep poverty. nothing had come in by four o�clock in the afternoon, when i went to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. i did not go in the morning, because i knew that there was every thing which was needed till the afternoon. when i came i found that a sister had given s. d.; a new bible which one of the labourers had given, who had more than one old copy, had been sold for s.; also s. had come in, and s. d. for some other articles which had been sold. this s. d. supplied that which was absolutely needed for today. we are still of good courage. we are sure that the lord, in his own time, will deliver us out of the trial; for were our poverty more than a trial of faith, had the lord in anger shut up his hands, we should not receive any thing at all. but this is not the case. for even this very day two sacks of potatoes were sent by the same brother who sent twenty sacks a few days since, with the promise to send still more. we have no means to lay in a stock for the winter, else we should have bought, perhaps, fifty or sixty sacks; but our kind father does it for us. there has been also a toy chest of drawers promised for sale. nov. . our prayer was last evening, in particular, respecting the necessities of today, as two days� provisions would be needed, it being saturday. besides this, about l. s. was needed to pay the weekly salaries of the brethren and sisters who labour in the day-schools. for all these demands there was nothing in hand, nor have we any more needless articles to dispose of; and useful ones we do not consider it right to sell, as our father knows our need. when we met about twelve o�clock this morning, i found that last evening there had been bibles unexpectedly sold to the amount of l. s. d., and about s. had been given besides. thus we had nearly enough for the school-fund. moreover, s. had come in for the orphan-fund. a large sea-chest was given by a brother several months since, for the benefit of the orphans, which had never been disposed of, and which, in this our great need, was sold for s. yet this s. was needed to pay what was due for washing; and, therefore, we had still nothing to take in provisions with. it occurred to one of the labourers, that there might be a little advanced on his watch, of the money which had been laid by for rent, as had once or twice before been done; and that the watch might be sold at quarter-day, in case there should not come in enough to make up the deficiency. yet even this plan we did not any longer think to be quite scriptural, as he needs the watch in the lord�s service, and as our lord is so kind, that he would otherwise send us means, were it well for us. in short, it appeared to us quite clear, that while we ought, in such a strait, to dispose of things which we do not need, nothing ought to be disposed of which is needed, in order that the lord�s own deliverance might be so much the more manifest. all we could think of for sale was five pewter dishes, which had been given nearly four years ago, but which were never used, as they were not convenient. these we agreed should be sold. about four o�clock this afternoon i received l. s., which a brother and sister had brought from leicestershire. with this i went joyfully to the orphan-houses. there i found that s. d. had come in for the pewter dishes; one of the labourers had given s. for the orphans, and s. for the school-fund. (there had come in s. more for the other funds. all demands were met, and there was s. d. over.) besides this, one of the labourers had sold a book of his own for s., and another labourer gave two pairs of new gloves, and four gentlemen�s stocks. one pair of the gloves had been sold. thus altogether had come in l. s. d., and therefore about l. s. more than was needed. we are now brought to the close of one more week. this has been, perhaps, of all the weeks the most trying. so much prayer, and so little coming in, i never knew. yet, by the grace of god, i was sure that help would come, after the trial of faith was over. during the whole of this week, greatly as we have been tried, and though twice no stock of bread could be taken in, yet there has been nourishing food at every meal, and neither the children nor any other person can have perceived our poverty. about l. has been spent even this week for housekeeping in the three orphan-houses. nov. . monday. the lord has kindly sent in since saturday evening l. s. / d., and thus our need for today is supplied. on saturday evening the produce of an orphan-box, s. / d., was given; and last evening a sister gave two sovereigns to brother craik, waiting for him a long time in the chapel, till she could see him. she might have delayed giving it till another time, as she had to wait so long; but the lord knew our need. there were also sent eight sack of potatoes, by the same brother who had sent twenty-two sacks before. nov. . as there was not enough money in hand for the necessities of today, we were again as poor as on saturday. between three and four in the afternoon the milk is generally taken in; but in the boys�-orphan-house there was not money enough to meet this small expense. however, the lord knew our need, and sent us at two o�clock s., which helped us comfortably through the day. a sister had purposed in her heart to give d. a week for the orphans, and she felt herself stirred up to bring the yearly amount now, in this our extremity. nov. . this has been a day of deep poverty. nothing but the s., above referred to, came in yesterday, which was scarcely enough to meet yesterday�s usual need. my mind, by the grace of god, was not at all cast down; but i felt it rather trying, that the abundance of my other engagements had not allowed me to meet with my fellow-labourers, either yesterday or today, for prayer. this evening i had a note from the boys�-orphan-house, to state that a lady had sent two dozen of boys� shirts, which she had made herself, with which she sent s. to get them washed. this s, enabled us to meet that which was absolutely needful. [i mention here, that while our usual current expenses are about l. s. daily for housekeeping in the three houses; yet we might, in case of need, do for one or two days with as little as yesterday and today, as there are generally potatoes and meat in the house, and a stock of bread for two days, in order that the children may eat stale bread.] without this s. we should have been unable to procure all that was absolutely needed. this our kind father knew, and therefore he sent it. there were also given two quarterns of bread by one of the bakers, which made up the usual quantity. moreover five and a half sacks of potatoes were sent by the brother who sent the others, making in all / sacks. nov. . this morning one of the labourers gave s., in order that there might be means to take in milk. between ten and eleven o�clock we met for prayer, and i found that s. had come in for a toy chest of drawers, which in this our great need had been sent for sale. besides this d. had been taken out of the box in the infant-orphan-house. this s. d. enabled us to provide the dinner, and to take in a little bread in two houses, even as much as would be enough for breakfast tomorrow; but there was s. d. needed to buy bread for the boys�-orphan-house, as there was only enough for today. when we met again this afternoon, s. had come in, as one of the labourers had sold a few old books. another labourer gave s. d., and thus we had also the s. d., which was needed for bread. after prayer, it was mentioned that a sister, a servant, who is out of a situation, had been this afternoon to see the orphan-houses, and had put something into the box at the girls�-orphan-house. the box was opened, and half-a-crown was found in it. this money was, in our deep poverty, as acceptable as l. at other times might have been. we rejoiced when we saw it, for it was a fresh proof to us, that, not in anger, but only for the trial of our faith, we are so poor. this s. d. provides us with the means to take in milk tomorrow morning, so that we shall have everything which is needed till after breakfast tomorrow, but then there is neither bread, nor meat, etc. remaining for dinner. our comfort, however, is: "the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." matt. vi. . we separated very happy in god, though very poor, and our faith much tried. nov. . our poverty had now become very great. greater it had never been. yet, the lord be praised! i was as comfortable as ever; for i was sure we were only for the trial of our faith in this state. had the lord shut up his hand iii anger, he would not have continued to give us, even during this week, from time to time, tokens of his care over us. i said this morning: "man�s necessity is god�s opportunity" is a proverb of the world, and how much more may we, his children, now look to him in our great need. i knew we must have help in some way, as now it had come to the greatest extremity, there being in none of the houses anything for dinner, except potatoes, of which we have an abundance. at ten this morning i was informed that a large box, bearing my address, had arrived at one of the orphan-houses. i set off immediately, and found it was from the neighbourhood of wolverhampton. it contained l. for the orphans, l. s. d. for the other funds, yards of flannel, yards of calico, yards of print, / yards of coloured cotton, yards of stuff, pairs of stockings, and / yards of brown holland. besides this, there were in it the following articles for sale: decanters and stands, glass salt cellars, scent bottles, a set of cruets and stand, beer glasses, chimney ornaments, tortoise-shell combs, fans, silver vinaigrettes, silver shoe-buckles, waist buckles, silver salt-cellars, pair of knives and forks with silver handles, a small silver toasting fork, silver coins, three gold rings, pairs of ear-rings, brooches, a cornelian heart, a silver seal, pair of silver studs, gold watch key, silver pencil case, pairs of bracelets, necklaces and urn rug. the joy which i and my fellowlabourers had when all these things lay before us, cannot be described; it must be experienced in order that it may be known. it was two hours and a half before the dinner time, when the help was granted. the lord knew that the orphans had no dinner, and, therefore, did he now send help.--this morning also a brother sent to the girls� orphan-house to ask whether the treacle-cask was empty, and if so, to send it by the messenger, that it might be filled. nov. . today l. came in again with ecclesiastes ix. , besides l. s. for the rents. nov. . today again some money was needed for housekeeping. but as a little had come in yesterday and today, we had enough. nov. . last evening s. came in, which was just enough to supply this day�s need. we are now again penniless. nov. . a great part of the articles, which were sent this day week from the neighbourhood of wolverhampton, have now been disposed of for l. s.; we are, therefore, supplied for today and tomorrow. dec. . since the last money has been given out for housekeeping, only l. s. has come in but as l. s. of this had been given for the rents, i had only s. in hand, when brother b., the master at the boys�-orphan-house, came this morning, and told me that the need of today would be at least l. i gave him the s. which i had, and proposed that we should pray together for more means. while we were in prayer, a brother called. after prayer brother b. left me, and the brother who had come gave me l. as soon as he had left, i went joyfully with the money to the orphan-houses, to prevent the bakers being sent away. this evening i received still further l. thus the lord has richly supplied our need for today and tomorrow. dec. . the lord has remembered again our need for tomorrow. i received today from liverpool s.; and from a brother in the neighbourhood of london, who had been staying here for a season, l.; also l. by the sale of some articles. dec. . it has been repeatedly our prayer during the last month and in the beginning of this, that the lord would be pleased to give us again so much means, before the time of the public meetings, which are fixed for the th, th, and th, of this month, that, when we speak about his dealings with us during this year, we might also respecting the close of it have again to speak, to his praise, of the abundance which we had in hand. at the end of last year we made the same request, and the lord granted it. now today, as an answer to this our often repeated request, i received from the east indies l., to be laid out for the orphans, or the other objects of the institution. respecting this money it is to be noticed: . the great distance from whence it is sent. . that it comes just now, and thus enables us to speak at the meetings of this rich supply after our trials. . it furnishes us with means to order bibles, as one half of the money will be taken for the other funds; there having been a great inquiry for bibles lately, and we have not been able to meet the demand, for want of means. respecting this point also we have prayed repeatedly, and now the lord has answered our petition. how very precious it is to wait on the lord! what an abundant proof have we in this donation, that all our late straits, as it regards means, were only allowed for the trial of our faith! this evening came in still further l. s. dec. . since dec. several small donations have come in, so that unto the last day of this fourth year of the orphan-work the lord has continued his kindness to us. on dec. , , and we had public meetings, at which the account of the lord�s dealings with us in reference to the orphan-houses and the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution was given. during the whole of the past year, as formerly, the labourers who are engaged in the work had kept their trials and their joys of faith to themselves; but now we considered the time to have come, when, for the benefit of the church at large, and to the glory of our lord, we should make our boast in him.--it is now (i. e. on dec. , ) five years and nine months since the scriptural knowledge institution has been in operation. in addition to what has been said about the lord�s dealings with us, more especially in regard to the funds, i make a few more remarks, with reference to his kindness to us, in other respects, during the last year. . during the last year also we have been enabled to continue to provide all the needful expenses connected with the six day-schools, three for boys and three for girls. the number of the children, who are at present in them, amounts to . the number of all the children that have had schooling in the day schools, through the medium of the institution, since its formation, amounts to . . there are at present children in the sunday school. . there are taught to read in the adult school, and there have been about adults instructed in that school, since the formation of the institution. . there have been circulated during the last year copies of the scriptures, and since march , . . there has been laid out during the last year l. s. for missionary purposes. . there have been received into the three orphan-houses from dec. , , to dec. , , orphans. there are at present orphans in the three houses. the number of all the orphans, who have been under our care from april , , to dec. , , amounts to . i notice further the following points in connexion with the orphan-houses. . without any one having been asked for any thing by us, the sum of , l. s. / d. has been given to us, entirely as the result of prayer to god, from the commencement of the work up to dec. , . . besides this, there have also been sent many articles of clothing, furniture, and provisions, for the use of the orphans. . without our solicitation, three medical gentlemen (one for each house), have up to this time, kindly given their attendance and medicines gratuitously. . the hand of god is most manifest in that we have had so little sickness, considering that so many persons during this autumn have been suffering from fever, etc. even in this particular i desire publicly to acknowledge the lord�s peculiar kindness to us. . though most of the children have been brought up in a very different manner from what we could desire, yet the lord has constrained them, on the whole, during this year also, to behave exceedingly well, so much so that it has continued to attract the attention of all observers. . that, however, which gives us the chief ground for thankfulness, so far as the children are concerned, is, that in eight of them we perceive decided proofs of a real change of heart and of faith in our lord jesus christ, so that they have been received into church fellowship. we are not surprised that these children, who are from years old and upwards, have been converted; for the conversion of the orphans under our care has been a frequent subject of prayer among us, and that of late more than ever; so that we fully expect, if the lord shall continue to give prayer for them, that soon many more will be brought to believe in the lord jesus. the total of the expenses, connected with the objects of the institution, exclusive of the orphan-houses, from nov. , , to nov. , , is l. s. the balance in hand on nov. , , was s. d. the total of the expenses connected with the three orphan-houses, from dec. , , to dec. , , is l. s. / d. the balance in hand on dec , , was l. s. ld. dec. . this morning we wanted again more money for the orphans than there was in hand. it is only eight days since the last public meeting, when there was a balance of l. s. ld. in hand. on this account we disposed of some silver articles and books which had been sent within the last days for the benefit of the orphans, by which means we have enough for today and tomorrow. dec. . my health is much better than for years. my mental powers also are as good as they have been at any time during the last three years. i ascribe this to god�s blessing, through the instrumentality of early rising, and plunging my head into cold water when i rise. review of the year . i. as to the church-- brethren and sisters brother craik and i found in fellowship when we came to bristol. have been admitted to fellowship since we came to bristol. would be, therefore, the total number of those in fellowship with us, had there been no changes. but have fallen asleep; are under church discipline saints have left bristol; have left us, but are still in bristol; are therefore to be deducted from , so that there are only at present in fellowship with us. during the last year have been added , of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the lord among us. ii. as to my temporal supplies. the lord has been pleased to give me during the past year . by the freewill offerings through the boxes £ s. d. . by presents in money, from saints residing in and out of bristol £ s. d. . by money through family connexion £ s. d. . by presents in clothes, provisions, &c., which were worth to us at least £ s. d. altogether £ s. d. january , . our usual meeting last night was most precious! we continued together from seven till half-past twelve. of all the similar meetings which we have had, it was, according to my judgment, by far the best. not more than five prayed; but there was much more real prayer than at former meetings.--this morning, about one hour after midnight, when our prayer meeting was over, i received a paper with some money sealed up in it for the orphans. a few minutes afterwards i remembered that the individual who gave it was in debt, and i was aware she had been repeatedly asked by her creditors for payment; i resolved therefore, with out opening the paper, to return it, as no one has a right to give whilst in debt. this was done when i knew that there was not enough in hand to meet the expences of the day. about eight this morning a brother brought l., which he had received just then from his mother, for the orphans. observe, the brother is led to bring it at once! the lord knew our need, and therefore this brother could not delay bringing the money. a few hours after i received l. more, and s. d., also s. d., so that we are now again supplied for three or four days. jan. . besides the l. s. d, which came in on new-year�s day, there came in on the nd and th l. s. d. but when now we were again without a penny, there came in s., and d., and s. also l. with ecclesiastes ix. , and l. s. for rent. jan. . today, when there were again only a few shillings in hand, as since the th had come in only s., i gave myself to prayer, when, just after i had risen from my knees, a sister came and brought l., as a thank-offering to the lord for the many mercies of the past year. there came in still further today, by ten different donations and the sale of two reports, l. s. jan. . there were only a few shillings more in hand than was needed for housekeeping today. nevertheless our kind father remembered us before the day was over. a sister, a servant, gave me s.; also with ecclesiastes ix. , came in l. s., from two sisters s, ld., and by sale of reports s. jan. . i have repeatedly asked the lord for means to be able to order more bibles, as two sorts were again exhausted. there is moreover scarcely enough money in hand to pay the teachers next saturday. this afternoon i received from a sister l. s. d., which she had had in the savings� bank. she considered that this money would be better used in the lord�s work, than left in the savings� bank. thus i was enabled to order some bibles. from jan. th to nd came in l. s. d. for the orphans, and the donations were so seasonable, that always either something was given, or articles which had been given for sale could be disposed of, before the last money had been expended. but as there was today again only very little in hand, i was led to open the orphan-box in my house, in which i found two papers, the one containing s., the other a l. note. in both papers was written eccles. ix. . there came in today still further above l. thus our lord has sent us what we are likely to need for three or four days to come. jan. . i have been much in prayer this week about going to germany: , to see certain brethren who purpose to go as missionaries to the east indies; and , to see my father once more. i am led to go just now, instead of delaying it, because my health is again so failing, that it seems desirable i should leave bristol at all events, and thus i could continue to serve in the work of the lord, and yet attend to the benefit of my health at the same time. lord, keep me from making a mistake in this matter! jan, , since jan. several small donations came in for the orphans, and several pounds by the sale of silver articles, trinkets, &c. but as i have had to pay out today l. s., we are now again very poor. for many days past we have been so helped, that money has always come in, before all was spent. now there is only s. d. in hand. the lord will provide! i feel quite comfortable, though in three days i shall have to leave the work for several week.--about three hours after i had written the above, came in l. s. l / d. in the afternoon i received still further from tottenham for the orphans l., and in the evening from hereford l., of which latter sum there was l. for the orphans, and l. for the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. thus the lord will kindly allow me to leave a little money behind on my departure, and i have also a still further answer to my prayer for means to purchase bibles, for which i have asked the lord repeatedly, and which he began to answer by the donation which i received on the nd. i have received l. besides for the other objects. feb. . i have now felt quite sure for several days past, that i should leave bristol for a season, and go to germany. if the lord permit, i shall leave the day after tomorrow. feb. . today and yesterday has come in still further, before my departure, nearly l. for the orphans. how kind of the lord to send this money just now, on the eve of my leaving home! feb. . today i left bristol for berlin. on feb. th i left london in the steamer for hamburg. though it had been so very stormy for several weeks past, the lord gate us a very favourable passage; the first, as the captain said, which they had had for several weeks. we landed at hamburg on the th at five in the afternoon. the porter who carried my things led me, as i afterwards found out, some by-way, either to save a long distance, or to get me into the city with my luggage, though it was after the custom-house hours. i did not understand this at first; but, when we were about to enter the city, he told me that that was not the proper way, but that if i would give to the custom-house officer, whom i should presently see at the entrance into the city, a small fee, he would let me pass. my reply was that i did not wish to do what was unlawful, nor should i give a fee to encourage what was unlawful, and that i would rather go a long way round, than get by such means into the city. presently we arrived at the place at which the custom-house officer stood, who, on my telling him plainly that i had not the least wish to pass that way, if it were unlawful, saw that i was only a passenger, and that i had no wish to get into the city with goods which are not duty free, and therefore let me pass. this little circumstance proves afresh in how many little things the children of god may act differently from the world, to the glory of their father, and how in going the lord�s way, we find it to be, even as far as this life is concerned, the easiest path.--about half an hour after, when i arrived at the hotel, a little circumstance served afresh to remind me, that the christian, like the bee, might suck honey out of every flower. i saw upon a snuffer-stand in bas-relief, "a heart, a cross under it, and roses under both." the meaning was obviously this, that the heart which bears the cross for a time meets with roses afterwards. i applied it to myself, and this little event greatly cheered my heart in this place, where i was without the fellowship of a single believer. i left hamburg in the evening of feb. th, travelled all night, all day, and the whole of the second night, and reached berlin on the morning of the th. i confessed not the lord jesus on this long journey, which i record here to my shame; nor did i give any other testimony for jesus in the steamer, than merely refraining from the light and trifling conversation of the party, and all this after i had had on my way from bristol to london a fresh encouragement in conversing with a gay traveller addicted to drinking, who evidently listened with a measure of attention, and with a desire of having his chains broken. from feb. th to th i was in berlin. i think it is likely that eight or nine brethren and sisters will go from hence to the east indies.--after having been greatly helped by the lord in my work, the first and special object of my journey to the continent; mercifully kept by him in the narrow path and in great peace, whilst surrounded with temptations on every side; and after having also seen afresh abundant reason to praise the lord for all the way in which he had led me since i lived here in and ; i left berlin on the evening of feb. th for magdeburg, which i reached on the morning of the st, and on the same evening i arrived at my father�s house.--in all human probability i now see my dear father the last time. he is evidently much weaker than he was two years ago, and coughs much more. what has the lord done for me since i lived in the house where i am now! the two rooms where i am now most in prayer, reading the word, and confessing his name, were those very rooms in which i sinned most, whilst living here many years ago. i have had again opportunity, most fully to bring out the truth about the work of the lord jesus before my father, whilst conversing a long time with a woman in his hearing, to whom i showed from the scriptures, that we are to be saved, not by our own works, but simply by faith in the lord jesus, who bore the punishment instead of us, and who fulfilled the law in our room. feb. and . i am still at heimersleben. my dear father is very weak. feb. . this morning i left heimersleben. i took leave of my father most probably for the last time. it has been a great pleasure to me, and i consider it a great privilege, to have been permitted by the lord once more to see my father, once more personally to show him filial love and regard, and once more to set the truth before him. he has been again during the whole of this my stay most affectionate to me, as he was during my two former visits to him since i left the continent to reside in england. how cheerfully should i have left him this morning, did i know him to be safe in jesus! but, alas! he as yet is not resting upon christ, though he is so far religious as to read prayers and the bible.--after i had left him i went to my faithful and beloved friend, brother stahlschmidt, at sandersleben, but found him absent from home. brother kroll, the servant of brother stahlschmidt, [whom i have mentioned in the first part of my narrative,] received me with much affection. when this brother first came to sandersleben in , there was scarcely a single true christian besides his master in the little town. soon afterwards he began to hold meetings, which were attended by the two or three who loved the lord jesus. these meetings were for a long time suffered to go on quietly; but when the lord blessed them, and others were stirred up to care about their souls, brother kroll had to appear before the magistrates, and was forbidden to hold them. when this was of no effect, (as he considered that he ought only to obey earthly rulers in things in which he could do so with a good conscience,) and they continued still to meet together, the police came into one of their meetings, and forced them to discontinue it. when even this availed nothing, the brethren were finally threatened that every one who attended these meetings should pay three thalers, and every one who read or spoke at them should pay five, which is a large sum in germany for poor people. but notwithstanding all these obstacles, the few poor saints continue their meetings, but in secret, to be unmolested by the police. they have now neither a stated place nor a fixed time for their meetings. on the second and third evenings, whilst i was at sandersleben, i met with them. on the second evening we were in the room of a poor weaver. the dear brethren would have me sit on the only chair which was in the room. it was a very small room, perhaps twice as large as the loom, which was in it. there were about twenty-five or thirty persons present, many of whom had seated themselves in and under the loom, and the rest sat on two or three little forms. these meetings were very precious. the very fact of going to them with the feeling of having to pay the fine, or to suffer an adequate imprisonment, should one be found there, makes them to be doubly valued; and i believe that the lord�s double blessing rests upon them. i spoke long both times; indeed, as long as i had strength, and the dear people seemed to eat the word.--i have so circumstantially related these facts, that thereby the children of god in great britain may be led more highly to value their religious privileges, and to make good use of them whilst they are continued. it is worthy of remark, that while the meeting at sandersleben were permitted to continue, there was no believing clergyman in the little town; but about the time that they were forbidden, the lord sent a brother who truly preaches the gospel. i had for some hours refeshing and most affectionate brotherly intercourse with him. may the lord let his blessing rest upon him, and help him to be a faithful witness for god in that dark neighbourhood! i had travelled so fast, and stayed so short a time in the places where i had been, that i was obliged to leave heimersleben without having received the letter which i had expected from my wife there, a matter of no small trial (as those who have been for some time at a great distance from home, know it to be); especially in my case, as, on account of the orphans and the other work, besides my family, it was of so much importance for me to hear from time to time. i had arranged with my father to have the letter sent to me to sandersleben, by an express messenger, who could be obtained for a small remuneration. however, hour after hour passed away, on the th, and the messenger did not arrive. at last the time was gone by, as it was getting dark, and the person ought to have come at noon. i now lifted up my heart to the lord, beseeching him to give me grace to give up my own will in this thing. no sooner had i been brought into such a state, as to be truly content and satisfied with the will of the lord in this matter, than the expected letter was handed over to me. the woman who brought it had lost her way in the morning, on account of a dense fog, which made her so late. i have frequently found, under similar circumstances, that after i had been brought into such a state as to be willing to give up my own will, whereby i was fitted to bear the blessing, the lord gave me the desire of my heart, according to the truth of that word: "delight thyself also in the lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." psalm xxxvii. . feb. . this morning i left sandersleben. towards the evening i reached halberstadt, the town where i was from easter to june , at the cathedral classical school. i went to a certain small inn, known to me from the time that i lived at halberstadt, both for the sake of quietness and to save expense, as i knew it to be more like a private boarding-house than an inn. after having had my supper, the innkeeper, who seemed to me a quiet and unassuming person, came into the room where i was, and began conversation with me. after a few moments i recognised in him a former schoolfellow of mine. the lord now enabled me to tell him of my gay life, my conversion, my subsequent going to england, and of some of the lord�s dealings with me there. he listened with great attention, and was evidently affected by what i said. may the lord bless to him my testimony for jesus! i was thus afresh reminded of what grace has done for me. how kind of the lord to direct me to that place! march . this morning i saw an old friend of mine, a missionary to the jews at halberstadt. when first he went there he held meetings, which the few christians of the town attended; but of late he has been obliged by the police to give them up. in that town of about , inhabitants, with, i think, seven large protestant churches, there is not one converted clergyman, as this brother told me; and the few christians that are there are not permitted to assemble themselves together. brethren, you who live in great britain, be thankful for your religious liberty, and make use of it while the days of outward peace last!--about twelve this morning i left by the mail for brunswick. the lord enabled me to preach christ to a young man, a painter, who, for the sake of improvement in his art, had travelled far and wide, and was now returning home from vienna to his parents. he listened very attentively, in which i had a fresh proof that one never ought to look at natural appearances in proclaiming the truth; for i judged, before i began to speak to him, from his gay appearance, that he would quite laugh at what i might tell him about jesus.--i saw again this afternoon, at wolfenbuttel the inn from whence i ran away, when in debt, in the year , and praised the lord for his goodness to me since that time. now, this evening, i am at brunswick, and shall have again, through the lord�s kindness, rest during the night, as the mail does not leave for hamburg until nine tomorrow morning. march . london. i left brunswick on the nd, and arrived at hamburg in hours. as there was ice in the elbe, the london steamer could not get up to hamburg, and i had therefore to go alone, in a hired carriage to cuxhaven, about eighty miles, the most expensive journey that ever i made in my life, for it cost above l. s. thus i had to travel three days and two nights, with the interruption of only five hours at hamburg. i reached cuxhaven at half-past eight in the evening on march th.--the fact of having thus to travel from hamburg to cuxhaven, that being the only way in which i could have got there in my circumstances, without losing the steamer, showed me afresh how one is step by step cast upon the lord. a month since the elbe was cleared of ice, and now, contrary to the expectation of all, the cold had returned to such a degree, that it was a second time innavigable. march . i embarked this morning for london. i had conversation with two russian jews, who listened with great interest to all i said to them; but i did not tell them plainly that i believed jesus of nazareth to be the messiah, as i fully purposed to do at the next conversation. after i had left them, they conversed with each other, and i could see from their countenances, that they either took me for a baptized jew, or for a missionary to the jews, on account of the peculiar way in which i had conversed with them. presently one of them came and asked me what i thought of that jesus. no sooner had i owned him as the true messiah and as my lord and my god, than he began to blaspheme; and from that time, as long as we were on board, they shunned me; and i also felt that all i had to do was to show kindness to them by actions, but no more to converse with them about the messiah, in order to keep them from blaspheming that holy name which is dear to my heart. my conversation with them had, however, an unexpected effect in another way. at the dinner table i was asked by one of the passengers about those jews, who they were, etc., as my long conversation with them on the deck had been noticed. this led me, (in order that the conversation might be turned to profitable subjects, and that i might discover whether there was a christian at the table), to throw out the remark, "how remarkable it is that the jews, in all parts of the world, can be recognised as such; and are not mixed with other nations," etc. immediately the captain replied, "this can only be explained by the scriptures, and shows the bible to be true," or something to that effect. i now, in agreeing with the captain, followed up the subject, and both after dinner and repeatedly during the passage had long and most interesting conversations with the captain, whom i found to be a true brother in the lord, and from whom i separated most affectionately on our arrival in london. on march th i landed in london, where i found two letters from my dear wife, from which i saw that up to the last the lord had been dealing with her, as well as with me, in the greatest kindness, and had given also an abundance for the orphans during the whole time of my absence. march . i left london this morning, arrived this evening in peace in bristol, and found my dearest mary and all in peace. truly, the lord has abundantly blessed me and them while i have been from home! during the whole time of my absence the lord not only supplied all the need of the orphans, but on my return i found more in hand than there was when i left. the donations, which came in during my absence, amount to between l. and l. march . today i received l. s., being a legacy left to me by a brother who fell asleep the beginning of last december. how richly does the lord supply all my own temporal necessities! march . today, when there was not a penny in hand for the orphans, i received the following donations: l. as the produce of the sale of ladies� baskets, an old crown piece, an old half-crown piece, and a spanish dollar. also s. with eccles. ix. , was given l. s. march . today came in still further l. s. d. march . all money was now again given out, when today came in by the sale of reports s. d., and in small donations l. s. d. march . on the th of this month received the following letter, from a brother who several times had been used by the lord as an instrument in supplying our need, and who also two months since sent l. "i have received a little money from ----. have you any present need for the institution under your care? i know you do not ask, except indeed of him whose work you are doing; but to answer when asked seems another thing, and a right thing. i have a reason for desiring to know the present state of your means towards the objects you are labouring to serve: viz, should you not have need, other departments of the lord�s work or other people of the lord may have need. kindly then inform me, and to what amount, i. e. what amount you at this present time need, or can profitably lay out." at the time when this letter came, we were indeed in need, or at least it was desirable, as far as i had light, to have means, as i was just on the point of establishing an infant-school, and as again some sorts of bibles were needed in order to go on with the circulation of the scriptures. also in the orphan-fund there was only s. / d. nevertheless i considered that, as i have hitherto acted, (i. e. telling the lord alone about our need), i ought to continue to do, as otherwise the principal object of the work, to be a help to the saints generally, by seeking to lead them to increased dependence upon god alone, through this institution, would be frustrated. i answered therefore the letter, in substance, as follows: "whilst i thank you for your love, and whilst i agree with you, that, in general, there is a difference between asking for money, and answering when asked, nevertheless in our case i feel not at liberty to speak about the state of our funds, as the primary object of the work in my hands is, to lead those who are weak in faith to see that there is reality in dealing with god alone." after having sent off the answer, i was again and again led to pray to the lord in this way: "lord, thou knowest that for thy sake i did not tell this brother about our need. now, lord, show afresh that there is reality in speaking to thee only about our need, and speak therefore to this brother, so that he may help us." today, in answer to this my request, this brother sent l., of which sum i shall take l. for the orphans, and l.. for each of the other objects. thus i have means for establishing the infant-school, and for ordering more bibles. also the orphans are again supplied for a week; for when the money came in there was not one penny in hand for them. april . this evening i received information from my little half brother that my dear father died on march th. he was taken worse a few days after i left him. how kind of the lord to have allowed me once more to see him! had i gone to germany at the time i first intended, he would most likely not have been alive to see me.--as i know not of one believer in the whole town where he lived, i cannot for a certainty ascertain any thing about his state before his death; but that which i do know gives me no proof of his having died in the faith of christ. as to myself, i am sure of this, that it becomes me to adore that wonderful grace which plucked me as a brand out of the burning, and to say in reference to my dear departed father: "shall not the judge of all the earth do right?" and in submission to the will of god to be satisfied with his dealings. this, through grace, i am able to do. every true believer who has unconverted parents, for whose spiritual welfare he is concerned, can understand what joy it would have been to me to have heard a satisfactory account of a true change of heart in my dear father before his end; but as it has been otherwise, i know nevertheless that god will be eternally glorified even in this dispensation. during no period did i pray more frequently or more earnestly for the conversion of my dear aged parent, than during the last year of his life; but, at all events, it did not please the lord to let me see the answer to my prayers. april . through the l. which came in on march , and a number of smaller and larger donations since then, we have had for the last twelve days more than usual. but now today our means were again reduced to s. d., when the lord sent in l. through a brother in bristol, who during this year also, as at former times, has been the instrument in the hands of god of repeatedly supplying our need when we were very poor. we are on the point of sending some money to the east indies for missionary objects. whilst i was on my knees respecting this object, l. was brought for it. april . today came in still further for the orphans, with eccles. ix. , l.; also l. april . for several months past it had appeared to brother craik and me, and to several other brethren who help us in the work of caring for the saints, that a part of the church meeting together at gideon chapel was a hinderance to our giving that clear and distinct testimony respecting the principles on which we meet, which we desire to give to the world and to the church at large in this city. as the lord, however, had so abundantly blessed our labours in that place, in the conversion of sinners, and also in the building up of many saints, we felt that we ought to act in this matter with the greatest prayerfulness and consideration; and we had therefore many meetings for prayer and deliberation with several brethren. on this account it was likewise, that though we came as early as the th of january to the conclusion that it would be better to relinquish gideon as a meeting place, we still deferred the matter for two months and a half longer, before we even mentioned our difficulties publicly. at last, on march th, we assembled with all the saints, and brother craik and i stated to them our difficulties. the following is the substance of what was stated at the meeting. brief statement of certain difficulties connected with our continuing to retain the occupancy of gideon chapel, newfoundland street, bristol. in order to enter into the force of the following particulars, it is necessary to keep in mind the position which, as a body of saints, we seem called upon to maintain, in this city, before the church and the world. we meet simply as believers in christ, without reference to any sectarian distinction, maintaining the scriptures as our only rule of doctrine and discipline, and affording freedom for the exercise of any spiritual gift which the lord may be pleased to bestow. we thus hold out a gathering place for all who believe in the lord jesus, and desire to confess his name, by obedience to his authority. whatever impedes us, in this our great work, can only be suffered to continue, if the lord himself lays it upon us as a burden or chastisement. nothing but necessity can justify our putting any obstacles in the way of the saints in this city, who, feeling the obligation of separating from every sectarian bond of union, would desire to meet with us. i. . there seems no sufficient reason for holding our lord�s day morning meetings, for the breaking of bread, in two different places. see cor. xi. . the number is not too large to assemble in one place, and the extent of locality is not so great as to prevent it, except in the ease of invalids or of very aged persons: and the disadvantages of two meeting places are very serious. in this way of meeting the gifts are needlessly divided, as the gifted brethren are in two places instead of one; discipline is rendered very difficult to be executed, as it can scarcely be ascertained who absent themselves, etc.; and impediments are thrown in the way of mutual intercourse and acquaintance, as the saints sometimes go to the one place, and sometimes to the other. . there are only four ways in which we can so arrange as to assemble every lord�s day morning, as a church, together. a, bethesda may be given up, and the meeting of the saints maybe at gideon. b, the meetings maybe alternately at each place. c, the meetings may be held at a third place intermediate, in respect of locality, between the two. d, gideon may be given up, and bethesda alone become the place of meeting for breaking of bread. --in regard to the first two of these four arrangements, the size of gideon puts a complete obstacle in the way, as there would not be sufficient room, were the saints and others, who would still attend, to meet together in that place. the third plan appears to be freest from all objections, could it be accomplished; but there is no one other place to be obtained sufficiently large for our purpose, and therefore, if it be granted that the profit of the saints and the glory of christ seem to require our having one gathering place, till the number of the saints and the extent of locality on which they reside shall force us to have more than one: the only way in which, for the present, this can be accomplished is by our relinquishing gideon, and having bethesda as our only place of meeting. ii. but the above are not the only reasons why we should no longer continue to retain gideon as a meeting place for the church.--we have reason to believe that several of our dear brethren, who have been in the habit of assembling there for worship, do not see with us in reference to the great leading principles on which we professedly meet. ever since the removal of any restraint upon the exercise of whatever gift the spirit may bestow, in connexion with the practice of weekly communion at gideon, there has been dissatisfaction on the part of some. a few have left and gone to other places, some have been in the habit of remaining only as long as there is teaching or exhortation, and then leaving without breaking bread. we have reason to believe that several do not, in heart, acknowledge us as taught of god in regard to the changes, which we have introduced; or, if they feel unwilling to say so, yet they are inclined to retain their old way. now, spiritual rule can only be continued over those who yield willing subjection: an unwilling submission on the part of those who are in the place "of the ruled," we deem no true subjection at all. therefore, those who do not believe that matters are conducted amongst us in a scriptural way, cannot comfortably continue in fellowship with us: and by yielding up to them the use of the chapel, we take away all just cause of complaint.--on account of these reasons there would be no need of leaving a meeting place under other circumstances; but as, when brother craik and i came to gideon chapel, we found saints there assembled together in fellowship who had contributed towards the purchasing and fitting up of the chapel, and who had been in the habit of meeting together on different principles, it seems not christlike either to force our light upon them, or to constrain them to leave us; but to give up the chapel to them, as they do not, in heart, go along with us. it cannot be expected that, for the sake of pleasing even those whom we love in christ, we should shrink back from carrying out any truth which the lord may lead us into; and, therefore, if our brethren cannot heartily go along with us, it is better that nothing should be imposed upon them contrary to their convictions. if it should be said that for the sake of a few we thus separate from many: our reply is, that we separate from none of the saints; we only withdraw from a building, because it appears to us a hinderance to the manifesting of the truth, and, at the same time hold out a gathering place for all who feel that it would be for the edification of their souls, and the glory of god, that they should continue to meet with us. we invite all those who conscientiously can submit to the order which obtains amongst us, to continue in fellowship with us; and we purpose to provide a place of meeting to suit the convenience of the feeble and aged who would feel the distance of bethesda to be an obstacle to their meeting habitually with the saints there. iii. but in addition to those already mentioned, there is a third class of difficulties connected with retaining gideon. the present character of the meeting for the breaking of bread there, is very far from fully exhibiting the principles on which we meet together. unbelievers sitting among the saints, hinders our appearing to meet for the breaking of bread, and renders it necessary that a disturbing pause should intervene between the act of breaking bread and the other part of the meeting. we cannot have the breaking of bread at the commencement of the meeting, because of the confusion occasioned by the intermixture of those who are not in fellowship with us. to alter this, and to request all who are not in fellowship with us (except those belonging to the families of the saints) to sit by themselves, as is the case at bethesda, would, we fear, produce increased dissatisfaction. such a request moreover would not be christlike, as long as from the construction of the building no comfortable sittings were reserved for any besides the saints themselves. thus, by retaining gideon, we are under the necessity of either marring our testimony to the church at large, or of deepening the dissatisfaction prevalent among several who are already in fellowship with us.--again, the very construction of the place renders it unsuitable for a meeting of saints. part of the sittings being pews, necessarily tends to give the appearance of a distinction between the very poor and the more respectable class. this distinction would need to be done away, and we have every reason to fear that some might feel personally aggrieved by the pews being taken away and replaced with benches. we have only of late understood that some of the pews are looked upon as private property. this is such a violation of the statement that the sittings are all free, that it could no longer be permitted. to require these unscriptural practices to be renounced, we have reason to apprehend, would be considered as an arbitrary act of rule, and might alienate the minds of those of our dear brethren who are still, in heart, attached to that to which they hare been accustomed in former years. if it can be shown that the above difficulties are capable of being removed, or that any greater evil would attend the yielding up of gideon than the evils which necessarily accompany our retaining it, then we are bound not to give it up. but, according to our present light, we see no way of reconciling the two objects, viz.: the retaining of gideon, and the exhibiting a full, unhindered testimony to the truth of god. we repeat it, that we do not separate from any single individual in fellowship with us, we only leave the walls of a building, and invite those who feel called upon to separate from every sectarian system, and to meet where free exercise is afforded for every spiritual gift, to assemble with us at bethesda. in the case of those who are in ordinary health, the inconvenience attending the locality of bethesda is a matter of very little consequence. half an hour�s earlier rising on the morning of the lord�s day, would be sufficient, in most cases, fully to meet the difficulty; and the consciousness, that the glory of jesus and the true welfare of his church were thereby promoted, would far more than compensate for the amount of self-denial which the inconvenience arising from the distance would impose.--in reference to the weak, the sickly, and the very aged, who reside in the neigbourhood of gideon, we trust, in the strength of the lord, to make such ample provision for their comfort on the lord�s day, that they may have no reason to regret that gideon has been relinquished. lastly, as it regards the opportunities which will be lost, by giving up gideon, of proclaiming the truth among believers, as well as preaching the gospel to the world, we intend, according to our ability and the measure of gift amongst us, to open places for those purposes in different parts of the city. after we had fully stated our minds respecting our difficulties in continuing to meet, as a church, at gideon chapel, we were still quite willing to continue to occupy it as a preaching place, provided the brethren whose property the chapel was (because of their having contributed towards the purchase and fitting up of the building,) were perfectly satisfied with our doing so. if this had been the case, all the difference would have been, that on lord�s day mornings gideon chapel would have been shut, and all the church would have met at bethesda; but we should have been willing not only to preach in gideon on the lord�s day evenings, and once or twice in the week, but also on the lord�s day afternoons instead of the morning meeting: so that even the unconverted, or the believers of that neighbourhood, who are not in communion with us, should have been no losers.--whilst nothing was stated by any one, that showed us we had been mistaken in the conclusion to which we had come, a point was mentioned which soon brought the matter to a final decision. it was said that the giving up of one of the principal meetings on the lord�s day would be against the spirit of the trust deeds, as the chapel was particularly intended to be a preaching place. now, though we did not see it to be thus, as we meant to preach the word, as before, at gideon, if it could be done in perfect harmony with the owners of it; yet it seemed beyond a question that we could not retain the chapel, whilst we appeared, even in the least to alienate the property from the use for which it was said to have been intended. we, therefore, were confirmed by this in our conclusion to give up the chapel at once, and that entirely. [in order that the aged and infirm, and invalids who live in the neighbourhood of gideon, might not be losers by the change, cars were provided, at the expense of the church, to convey them to the meeting for the breaking of bread at bethesda; and a chapel was rented in callow-hill street, near gideon, in which, on the lord�s day and thursday evenings the word was ministered, it was very kind of the lord to order it so that this chapel was at once to be had! two years and a half afterwards, in october, , we rented a still more suitable chapel, in the heart of the city. on april th, , we preached for the last time at gideon, after having laboured there, with abundant blessing, for about eight years. only three saints, as far as i know, out of about , who used to meet with us at gideon, remained there. nor has the lord ceased to bless our labours since we left.] april . monday. the lord knew that we were penniless, and should be in need of fresh supplies today for the orphans, therefore he moved the hearts of some of his children to remember us, in answer to our prayer. yesterday i received with eccles. ix. , l., and s. from a sister who had lent this sum to some one, but never expected it again; and now, having unexpectedly received it, gave it to the lord for the orphans. l. s. was given for the rent of the orphan-houses. there was s. d. put anonymously into the box at bethesda, and also l. this morning i was informed that l. had been sent to the infant-orphan-house. thus the lord has given for our need l. s. d. let us pause here a few moments, beloved reader! let us adore the lord�s kindness! see how seasonably the lord sends the help. as our need is, so he remembers us. it is not now and then that he is mindful of us, but continually. as surely as we stand in need of any thing, he sends it; be it money, provisions, clothes, or any thing else. we may be allowed to be poor, yea, very poor; we may have to pray again and again to our father before the answer comes; we may be reduced so as to have from mal to meal to wait upon him; yea, according to all outward appearance, the lord may seem to have forgotten us:--but, amidst it all, as surely as we really need any thing, in his own time and way does he send help. perhaps you may say; "but how would you do, in case there were a mealtime to come and you had no provisions for the children, or they really wanted clothes, and you had no money to procure them?" our answer is, such a thing is impossible as long as the lord shall give us grace to trust in him, (for "whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed,") and as long as he shall enable us to carry on the work in uprightness of heart. but should we be ever so left to ourselves as to forsake the lord and trust in an arm of flesh, or should we regard iniquity in our heart i. e. wilfully and habitually do any thing, either in connexion with the work or otherwise, which is against the will of god, then we may pray and utter many words before him, but he will not hear us, as it is written: "if i regard iniquity in my heart, the lord will not hear me." psalm lxvi. . i, therefore, beseech all who love our lord jesus and who may read this, to entreat him on behalf of all of us who are engaged in this work, that he would be pleased to continue to give us faith, and that he would keep us from living in sin. may . nothing having come in for five days, we were today again penniless. in answer to prayer s. d. came in, and some trinkets were sent, the names of which the donor does not wish to be known. thus we were helped through this day.--observe here, how the lord allowed five days to pass away without influencing the hearts of any to send us supplies; but the moment there is real need, the stream runs again. may . today the lord sent in again some money for the orphans. he knew we were penniless, and therefore answered our requests. besides l. s. for rent, there came in l. s. from london, and l. from the isle of wight. may . by what came in yesterday, we were supplied for today; but the lord sent today still more, as that which came in yesterday was only enough for today. there was given in money l., of which l. was the profit of the sale of ladies� baskets, which are made by some sisters in the lord for the benefit of the orphans. last evening a brother was baptized, who on the first lord�s day of this year came with his intended wife to bethesda chapel. both were in an unconverted state. they both were at the same meeting, through what brother craik said, made to feel the power of the truth, and, in consequence, were led to jesus and found peace in him, and are now both in communion with us.--the lord still condescends to use us as instruments. today we conversed with seven persons about fellowship, and had to send away five, being worn out after we had seen the seven, one after the other. only since april st, forty-one persons have come to us to speak about their souls. may the lord in mercy give us helpers in the work, for truly the harvest is great; and may not our ingratitude for his abundant blessing upon our labours oblige him to shut up his hands from continuing to use us! may th. this evening i received l. for the orphans, and l. for the infant-school, which we are on the point of opening. before our little stock is quite exhausted, (for there is yet l. left for the orphans) the lord has thus kindly sent a fresh supply. thus also my prayer is answered in being able to give to two of the sisters in the orphan-houses some money for their personal expenses. may . there are four believers staying at my house, and today we had only a few shillings of our own money left. i gave myself, therefore, to prayer for means for our own personal expenses. in answer to my request, i received this morning l. may . today five of the orphans were received into fellowship and baptized. there are now fourteen of them in fellowship. may . the need of today, as we were again penniless, led us to open the boxes in the orphan-houses, in which l. s. d. was found. there was given s. besides. in the evening came in still further a sovereign from a sister, a servant, with the following lines: the lord has put it into my heart to send a sovereign to the orphans. he indeed put it into my heart, which was once at enmity with god and would have said, lay it by, you may want it when you are old; but then i could not look towards heaven and say, i know my heavenly father will supply all my need; neither could i say, �abba, father,� for i knew him not." may . today the lord has sent a little more, so that we have enough to meet the demands of tomorrow. there came in altogether l. s. d. may . several small donations enabled us to supply the necessities of the last four days. when this day commenced, however, there was again not a penny in hand. but my eyes were directed to the lord, and therefore my heart was at peace; i was fully assured that he would help this day also. about eleven i was informed that there was s. d. in hand, being the produce of the boys� knitting, and that also some old clothes, given for sale, had been sold for s. d., and one report besides for d. to this one of the labourers added s. of his own, and gave a book besides for sale. thus we had l. s., which was enough to meet the demands of this day. may . by the sale of little books which had been given to be disposed of, by a few shillings which came in for the children�s needlework, by s. which had been taken out of the boxes in the orphan-houses, by a little money given by one of the labourers, by s. which came anonymously in a letter, and by the sale of some reports--we were able to meet the demands since the nd. today there was l. s. d. left in hand, but this was not quite enough for the need of the day. in the afternoon came in for needlework s. d., and there was s. left at the infant-orphan house. thus we had enough, and a few shillings left for tomorrow. may . nothing had come in. my engagements kept me from going to the orphan-houses till seven in the evening, when the labourers met together for prayer. when we met i found that one of them had given l s., which had been divided between the three houses. this, with the little which had been left yesterday, had procured all necessary articles. we are now very poor. may . we met for prayer, at eleven this morning. no money had come in, but there was enough for dinner in all the houses. this morning the last coals were used in the infant-orphan-house, and in the boys�-orphan-house there were only enough for today, and there was no money in hand to buy more. in this our need t.p.c. sent a load of coals. how kind of the lord! a plain proof that not in displeasure, but only for the trial of our faith we are allowed to be so poor. we purpose to meet again at four this afternoon. may the lord graciously be pleased to send help in the mean time! evening. the lord has had mercy! a person bought some days since several articles, which had been given to be sold for the benefit of the orphans, and owed l. s. this morning i asked the lord to incline his heart to bring the money, or a part of it, as we were in such need. just as i was going to meet for prayer with my fellow-labourers this afternoon, he came and brought l. but our kind father showed us still further today, that only for the trial of our faith he had for a season withheld supplies; for there was given this evening with eccles. ix. , l. there came in also s. for articles which had been put into the hand of a sister, who has taken on her the service of disposing of articles which are given for sale. besides this, there were sent two boxes of new clothes, and some materials for clothes, from sisters in the lord, residing in dublin, which articles are worth several pounds. thus the day, which had begun with prayer, ended in praise. but there is one thing more to be recorded respecting this day, as precious or more so than what has been said: i was today informed that the lord has begun to stir up several of the boys to care about their souls. may . the lord has kindly sent in further supplies. a clergyman gave l.; and s. came in for reports. may . today has come in still further l. s. d., and several trinkets which were sent from barnstaple. may . i took l. out of the box in my house. may . when there was again not a penny in hand, the lord sent in l. s. june . this is saturday. several pounds were needed, as usual, for the orphans; but there was not a penny in hand. in this our great need f. w., who often has been instrumental in supplying our need, and who lives many miles from bristol, sent l. there came in s. besides. thus we are helped to the close of one more week, in which our faith has been repeatedly tried. in the evening came in further, by sale of articles, l., and a donation of s. june . lord�s day. today came in l. s. d., to enable us to meet the necessities of tomorrow. june . this evening eight german missionary brethren and sisters, whom i have been for some time expecting, arrived in bristol, on their way to the east indies. june . again, when only s. d. was in hand for the orphans, there came in from a considerable distance l. june and . these two days came in l. s. d., which was enough, with the little which had been left, to procure what was needed. june . when there was nothing in hand, several articles of gentlemen�s clothing, all worn, were sent for sale, which, being disposed of for l. s., we were helped through this day. june . today�s need was met by a box of clothes coming from worcester, which contained also l. s. d. there was also s. taken out of the box in my house. june . l. s. d. came in yesterday and today, by which we were able to meet the necessary demands, and have s. left. june . some articles were sold for s., which had been given for sale. this, with the remaining s., met the necessities of the day. june . only s. has come in by children�s needlework. this is all we have, to meet the need of today, except s. d., which i found in the box in my house, which our poverty led me to open. evening. the lord has had mercy upon us. a sister, to whom some time since some money was left, and whom the lord has made willing to lay it all out in his service, having received a small part of what is coming to her, brought l. s. d. of it, this afternoon, for the orphans. there came in still further this evening l. for several days past i had been very poor in reference to my own temporal necessities, as well as in reference to the orphans. today we were especially poor, in both respects; but our kind father remembered not merely the need of the dear orphans, but gave me also some money for my own personal expenses. the same sister just referred to, who brought l. s. d. for the orphans, brought me also l. for myself. june . today a new coat and waistcoat were given to me, for which i had repeatedly asked the lord, as my clothes are now very old. as surely as i really need any thing, be it in money, or in any other way, my kind father supplies the need. june . the lord has poured in still more abundantly today. a brother gave me l. for myself. thus, after a season of more than usual poverty, the lord sends a more than usual supply. how kind a master do i serve! june . again, when there was not one penny in hand, came in today l. s. for the orphans. june . tomorrow, the lord willing, i purpose, with my wife, to accompany the three german brethren and the five german sisters to liverpool who purpose to sail from thence. under these circumstances it is desirable to leave at least a little money behind. this desire of my heart the lord has granted; for this morning d. c. gave me l., and there came in by sale of articles s. d. in the evening a sister, who has left bristol today, sent me by her mother l., having particularly requested her to let me have the money today, as she knew that i was going away tomorrow. this evening we had an especial missionary prayer meeting, at which the brethren and sisters were commended to the lord. june . this morning we left for liverpool, where we safely arrived in the evening. the following extracts give the account of the lord�s goodness in supplying the necessities of the orphans, while i was away from bristol. on june , whilst at liverpool, i received a letter from brother r. b., master at the boys�-orphan-house, dated bristol, june th, in which he writes thus:--the money which you left behind, with s. d. which came in for reports, supplied the necessities of yesterday and today; but there is nothing in hand to meet the necessities of tomorrow. our hope is in god, assuredly believing that he will, as in former times, help us in his own time and manner."-- two days afterwards the following letter came. "bristol, june , . "dear brother,--since i wrote to you we have very sweetly proved the mercy and truth of our heavenly father, when my letter left bristol, we had not one penny in hand. on the same evening sister gave me a parcel containing l. s., the produce of the sale of an article. this was sufficient for yesterday. but after this we were again penniless. i went to the meeting in the evening, where brother j. b. gave me a list of names of persons who had given to him for the orphans, to the amount of l. s. d. i afterwards sold one of your books, one of brother craik�s renderings, and a report. i also remembered that a few days before s. d. had been given to me which i had forgotten to use. we therefore had in all l. s. d., which is sufficient to meet this day�s necessities. i have just received a sovereign for the orphans, and besides this a box, containing various articles of clothes which has been sent from wales, part of which articles are only fit for sale. thus we have something for tomorrow, if needed. "your affectionate brother, ��r. b,�� the arrival of the box of clothes, etc., was announced to me in an affectionate letter from a brother in wales, who sent them, but whom i do not know personally. what follows will show how seasonably the donation came. on june th i received another letter from brother b., dated bristol, june th, , in which he writes "i should have posted my letter by one o�clock, but delayed until it was too late, hoping that i might have to speak of the lord�s goodness as well as of our poverty. thank god, my hopes have been realized!-�besides the l. mentioned in my last letter, in the evening of the th s. d. came in for needlework, and s. was given. on saturday i sold some of the clothes which had been sent from wales for l., and s. was given to me for an article which had been sold some time ago. as this was scarcely sufficient, i opened the boxes, and found s. d. in them. the whole, therefore, which was in hand, amounted to l. s. d., which was enough for saturday the th. this morning, monday, as nothing had been given to me since saturday, there were no means to provide for the dinner in the boys�-orphan-house; but one of the sisters, having a little money of her own, purchased potatoes and meat with it. at eleven o�clock we met for prayer. the baker came to the infant-orphan-house, but no bread was taken. a brother left two quarterns of bread at the boys�-orphan-house, as a gift. soon after i received l. through sister l. g., which, as soon as i received, i began to write to you. it was a comfort to me, in our poverty, that you still, united in spirit, prayed with us, although distance separated us in body. i do not know that i ever felt more powerfully the kindness of our heavenly father, than when i received this last mentioned l. although we are still poor, and soon shall be again in need, yet, receiving it just at this time, it was very refreshing." the next day i received the following report about the orphan-houses from brother b., dated june th.--" according to your request, tomorrow only is the time for me to write, but as the lord has dealt very bountifully with us, i write today, in order that you may be refreshed by the account thereof. yesterday afternoon, i received s., and this morning i sold some more of the articles sent from wales, for s. d., which meets this day�s demands." on july nd i accompanied the eight german brethren and sisters to the vessel. just before they went on board, brother ----, one of the missionary brethren, gave me l. s. for the orphans. he had sold his plate while at bristol, considering that as a servant of jesus christ, and as one who desired to preach jesus to the poor hindoos, he needed it not, this money was the produce of it, except about l., which he had spent in purchasing a few books. in giving it to me said, "the money which we have in the common stock, (being altogether l. for the eight) is enough for us. for some months, while we are on board, we need no money at all, whilst you may lay it out; and when we need more, the lord will again supply our need. the other brethren and sisters have no money of their own, and i desire likewise to have none, the lord has laid the orphans particularly on my heart, and therefore you must not refuse to accept it."--this brother little knew how on that very day i had been repeatedly asking the lord for means. truly this was one of the most remarkable ways of obtaining money, as it came from a poor german missionary, who, in dependence upon the lord for his temporal supplies, went to the east indies. i sent off at once l. of this money to bristol. the next day, july , i received at liverpool the following letter from brother b., dated bristol, july nd.--" since i last wrote, we have still found that the lord is faithful to his word. may we never be unfaithful towards him! on tuesday evening, june th, sister c. brought s. d. for some articles she sold, and i had received s. d. for reports. this, with s. that had been put into the boxes, met the absolute necessities of yesterday, wednesday. as nothing has been given since tuesday, we are, today, thursday, very needy. i sold the books i mentioned as being sent, with some others which one of the sisters in the orphan-houses gave of her own, for s., which bought that which was needful for dinner; but there is no money to take in bread nor milk for one of the houses. we met for prayer. our hope is in god, trusting that he who has so often helped us in poverty, will still do so. if i write any more i shall be too late to post this letter." [on my return to bristol i found, which is not mentioned in the next letter, that the milk was purchased with the money of one of the sisters in the orphan-houses.] on july th i received the following letter from bristol, dated july rd. "my dear brother,--the last account i sent you left us in the greatest poverty. we had sufficient, it is true, for the time then present; but there was no money to take in bread with. in the afternoon there was an old riding habit sent for the orphans, which i sold this morning for s. i also sold a few books for s., two old silver thimbles and a ring for s. d.; besides this, s. d. was sent for reports; making in all s. this purchased dinner for the three houses. at twelve o�clock we met for prayer. we were indeed in great need. there was no money either for bread or milk. the coals in all the three houses were used, and in every other respect the stores were in a low state. we had really wanted nothing, but there was scarcely any thing left. well, while we were in prayer to god, your letter came. one of the sisters opened the door and received it, and after prayer it was given to me. you will be able to conceive the greatness of our joy, on opening it, and finding it to contain l. i cannot express how much i felt. during the trial i had been much comforted by the lord�s sending a little token of his love every day. it just proved that he was mindful of us in our poverty, and that when his time was come, he would send us an abundance. i think we all felt your absence a little, although not cast down on that account. money is very precious to those who, like us, so evidently see the hand and heart of our heavenly father in bestowing it, the sisters send their love to you. "your affectionate brother, "r. b." on july th i received the following account from bristol, dated july th. "you are, i am sure, often praying for us, and therefore see, in the help we receive, god�s gracious answers to your prayers, and therefore you will be refreshed by hearing the account of how matters are with us. on saturday there was again a little money needed in the girls�-orphan-house, for butter and such little articles; but i had none in hand, wherewith to supply this need, until nearly tea time, when s. was given to me. in the evening of the same day, at ten o�clock, s. was sent through brother j. s. you will see that we are still cast simply on god for the future, without anything to depend on but himself; and on whom, or on what should children depend, but on their most kind father." on july th, whilst still detained in the lord�s service at liverpool, i received from a brother l. for the orphans, which i sent off at once. on the same day, after i had sent off the money, i received the following letter from bristol, dated july . "the lord is still pleased to keep us very low. only s. d. in money has come in since last i wrote to you. the s. i told you of, and this s. d., i divided among the sisters. but as this was far from being sufficient, and knowing that you had received l. s. and only sent l., i took out of the other funds l. s. d., being all that i could spare, and divided it also. i would not have done so, had it not been needful, and had it not appeared to me that we were not going out of the path of obedience in doing this. there was a sack of flour sent this morning. we are still, we may say, in need, as even the money, which i have divided, was not enough to purchase every thing desirable to have." on july th, whilst at worcester, i received the following letter, dated bristol, july . "after writing to you the last time, i got no more money on that day, except s. the next day, wednesday, i received s. d., and took s. out of the box in the boys�-orphan-house. also a sister purchased a bible, and out of that money i took s. d. to make up the s., to which i alluded in my last letter. this carried us through the day. in the evening of the same day i received s. d. and s., which purchased meat for dinner; and the potatoes in the boys� garden, being now fit for use, we had for dinner. after the dinner was provided we received the l. from you, which enabled the sisters again to replenish their stock. out of the l. i kept the s., in case i might need it on saturday for the salaries of the masters and governesses of the day schools. we felt the poverty a little more, i think, on account of your absence. i knew the lord would help, but still i felt tried in some measure. the lord, by his grace, reproves our waywardness towards him. when this letter arrived, there was sent to me, at the same time, from bristol, l. for the orphans, which i sent off at once. on july th i returned to bristol. i add a few more words respecting my stay at liverpool. --about october i sent some bibles and copies of my narrative to a brother in upper canada, who, in dependence upon the lord for temporal supplies, is labouring as a missionary in that country. about eighteen months afterwards i heard, that this box had not arrived. i then wrote to the shipbroker at liverpool, (who as agent had to send it to america, and to whom i had paid his commission and the freight), to make inquiry about the box; but i received no answer. about a month afterwards my letter was returned to me, through the dead-letter office, and it was stated on the outside that the individual had left liverpool, and no one knew where he was gone. putting all these things together, i had now full reason to think that the broker had, never sent off the box. my comfort, however, was, that though this poor sinner had acted thus, yet the lord, in his own place and way, would use the bibles and my narratives. now, almost immediately after my arrival in liverpool, a brother told me, that several persons wished to hear me preach who had read my narrative; and that he knew a considerable number had been bought by a brother, a bookseller, from pawnbrokers, and sold again; and that some also had been ordered from london when there were no more to be had otherwise. it was thus evident that the shipbroker pawned these narratives before he absconded; but the lord used them as i had hoped.--i preached ten times in english and once in german whilst at liverpool, and i know that several persons were brought to hear me, through having read my narrative.--the german brethren preached twice in german, there being several german vessels in the port, and a number of german sugar refiners living at liverpool. liverpool seems to me especially a place where a brother, who is familiar with french and german, may find an abundance of work among the german and french sailors, in the way of preaching to them, and in the way of distributing french and german bibles and tracts.--one of the german missionary brethren found out a brother in the lord, a native of the same town in prussia, from whence he himself comes, who repeatedly met with us. this dear sailor was the only believer in the vessel in which he was, and has had to suffer much for the lord�s sake.--when the german brethren and sisters were going on board, i engaged a fly for the purpose of taking all their small luggage. when the man put the luggage into the fly, i was struck by its having a hind boot, which i had never seen before in any fly, which he opened, and into which he put several carpet bags. there were seventeen packages altogether. when we arrived at the vessel it was just on the point of going into the river, with several other vessels, and there were crowds of people standing at the docks. the flyman took out the luggage and was on the point of leaving, when i asked him whether he had taken out all the luggage, which i had not been able to count, because of the pressure of people, and the rapidity with which the packages were taken to the vessel. his reply was, yes. but all at once, by the good hand of god, i remembered the hind boot, and i asked him to open it. the man, somewhat confused, opened it, and in it were five or six carpet bags. this thing showed me afresh our entire dependence upon the lord, step by step. i was alone. the crowd was great. the vessel was on the point of sailing: and all without my fault or the fault of any one; but it was so through unforseen circumstances. one minute later, and the bags, in all human probability, would have been lost. for when the brethren had missed their luggage, it would have been too late; for though i had marked the number of the fly when i engaged it, yet that would have profited nothing, when once the brethren were at sea. but the hand of god was for good upon these his children, whose stock of linen was only such as they would need. such a circumstance should teach one to make the very smallest affairs a subject of prayer; for instance, that all the luggage might be safely taken out of a fly. on july th my wife and i left liverpool, where we had experienced much kindness, for worcester, where we stayed a few days, and had again much love shown to us by the saints there. july . since july th the lord has kindly sent in the supplies for the orphans, so that we have had always something coming in, before the last which was in hand was spent. now, today, having paid out this morning l. s., again nothing was left in hand, when in the afternoon l. came in by sale of articles. july . lord�s-day. as i had no opportunity today of preaching in our chapels (there being two brethren ministering among us who are strangers in bristol), i have preached twice this evening in the open air. precious as this work is, yet i am sure it is not that to which i am called for a constancy, as i have no strength of body for it. but i have seen afresh this evening how greatly it is needed. the second time i preached, i took my stand in a court, filled with poor people, almost every one of whom was dirty, though it was the lord�s day evening. a woman readily lent me a chair on which i stood, and could thus be heard by the people in the houses behind and before me, and on my right and left hand. judging from their dirty appearance, i should not suppose any of these poor people had been any where, to hear the gospel preached throughout the day. how plenteous is the harvest, and how few are the labourers! lord of the harvest, send thou, in compassion to poor sinners, more labourers into the harvest! --how well a brother who has some gift, and a measure of strength of lungs, might employ a part of the lord�s days, or of other days, either by reading the scriptures from house to house to such persons, and making some remarks on them; or by standing up in a court and reading the scriptures aloud and speaking on them. it is very rarely that one meets with decided opposition on these occasions; at least i have generally in such cases found far more readiness to listen, than decidedly to oppose. aug. . a few days since a brother was staying with me, on his way to his father, whom he had not seen for above two years, and who was greatly opposed to him, on account of the decided steps which his son had taken for the lord. before this brother left, that precious promise of our lord was brought to my mind: "if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven." matt. xviii. . accordingly, i went to the brother�s room, and having agreed to pray about a kind reception from his father, and the conversion of both parents, we prayed together.--today this brother returned. the lord has answered already one part of the prayer. the brother was most kindly received, contrary to all natural expectation. may the lord now help us both to look for an answer to the other part of our prayer! there is nothing too hard for the lord! since the publication of the third edition, the father of this brother died. he lived above ten years after aug. , , until he was above years of age; and as he continued a life of much sin and opposition to the truth, the prospect with reference to his conversion became darker and darker. but at last the lord answered prayer. this aged sinner was entirely changed, simply rested on the lord jesus for the salvation of his soul, and became as much attached to his believing son, as before he had been opposed to him; and wished to have him about him as much as possible, that he might read the holy scriptures to him and pray with him. let this instance encourage believers, who have unbelieving parents, to continue in prayer for them. since the publication of the fourth edition, the mother also died. about sixteen years had elapsed, after her son and i had thus prayed together, before, in her case, the answer was granted; yet she, too, at last, in very advanced years, was brought to trust in the lord jesus alone for the salvation of her soul.--i distinctly remember, with what full assurance, that the lord would answer our united supplication, i went to the room of this brother, to propose prayer, resting upon the promise in matt. xviii. , though the case appeared to be most hopeless. aug. . yesterday i was led, by the sense of our necessity, and the knowledge of the father�s heart, like elijah, to go again and again to him with my request for help, as there was nothing in hand for the orphans to supply the necessities of today. last evening, after the meeting, a brother from oxford gave me a sovereign for the orphans; by two other individuals was sent half-a-crown; and by the sale of an article, which had been given many weeks since, but was only disposed of today, came in s.: thus, in all, the lord sent again l. s. d. this morning i heard that s. was given yesterday to brother b., so that we were able to meet the demands of today, which are l. s. aug. . as there was only s. d. in hand, i asked the lord repeatedly yesterday to send us what was needed for today. when i came home last evening from the meeting, l. was given to me, which q. q. had brought while i was away, to be used as i thought well. this i took for the orphans, which will supply our need for today and tomorrow. aug. . saturday. this evening i was meditating on the th psalm. the words in verse : "but know that the lord hath set apart him that is godly for himself; the lord will hear when i call upon him," i was enabled to apply to myself, and they led me to prayer for spiritual blessings. whilst in prayer, the need of the orphans (there being now again not one penny in hand), was also brought to my mind, and i asked the lord respecting this likewise. about five minutes afterwards i was informed that a sister wished to see me. she brought l. s. for the orphans. thus the lord has already kindly sent a little to begin the week with. there was also still further given today, s. d.; and s. d. was taken out of the boxes in the orphan-houses. aug. . monday. the l. s. which came in on saturday evening for the orphans, was not enough for the necessities of today, as l. l s. was required. about noon, the lord gave through a brother in bath, who has a relative in one of the orphan-houses, l. s. more, so that we had enough, and a few shillings left. this evening came in s. besides, also s. d. by sale of articles. aug. . the money which was in hand, with s. which was given by one of the labourers, as there was not enough otherwise, helped us through this day. aug. . one of the labourers gave today s. of his own, as nothing had come in. yet this would not have been sufficient, had there not been sold two pairs of stockings, which had been knitted by the boys, for s. d., and had not s. been found in one of the boxes. aug. . yesterday there was given a collection of shells, which was sold today, and supplied the necessities of this day, with an addition of s. which a brother gave last evening, and s. which was taken out of the box in the infant-orphan-house. aug. . there was nothing at all in hand. i opened the box in my house, and found s. d. in it, a labourer gave s. of his own. there was found s, d. in the boxes in the orphan-houses, and s. came in by the sale of a few articles which had been given for that purpose. by this s. d, we were able to meet the absolute need, but were able to take in only a small quantity of bread. aug. . there was today the greatest poverty in all the three houses; all the stores were very low, as the income throughout the week had been so small. in addition to this it was saturday, when the wants are nearly double in comparison with other days. at least l. was needed to help us comfortably through the day; but there was nothing towards this in hand. my only hope was in god. the very necessity led me to expect help for this day; for if none had come, the lord�s name would have been dishonoured. between twelve and one two sisters in the lord called on me, and the one gave me l. and the other s. d. for the orphans. with this i went to the boys�-orphan-house about one o�clock, where i found the children at dinner. brother b. put the following note into my hand, which he was just going to send off: "dear brother,--with potatoes from the children�s garden, and with apples from the tree in the play-ground (which apples were used for apple dumplings), and s. d. the price of some articles given by one of the labourers, we have a dinner. there is much needed. but the lord has provided and will provide." there came in still further this day by sale of reports, s., by the box in the girls�-orphan-house, s., by children�s needlework, s. d., by a donation of one of the sisters in the orphan-houses, s. thus we had this day l. s. d. to meet all necessities, and are brought to the close of another week. aug. . lord�s-day. there came in still further last evening, s. by sale of some articles, and today s. was given, and l.; so that the lord in his love and faithfulness has given us what we are likely to need tomorrow and the day after. aug. . there has come in still further l. aug. . this morning a brother who passed through bristol gave l., saying that it had been especially laid on his heart to do so. thus the lord has provided a little towards tomorrow. besides this came in today s. d. aug. . by the sale of three pairs of stockings came in s. d., and from liverpool was sent s. d.: this, with what was in hand, was enough for today, and left a little over. aug. . today there was not enough money in hand to meet all the demands; but it being known that yesterday several persons had put money into the boxes in the orphan-houses, they were opened, and found to contain l. s. d., which was more than sufficient. i would call upon the believing reader to admire the love and wisdom and power of god in ordering it so that persons should come to the orphan-houses just at the time when there is temporal pressure, and should be influenced to put money into the boxes. these little sums have been often the means of helping us in our greatest need. the especial providence of god, as in every other respect, so in this particular point also, is to be seen respecting this institution, in that so much is anonymously put into the boxes; for there has been no less than l. s. / d, put in during the last two years, from dec. , , to dec. , . aug. . saturday. yesterday there was only s. d. in hand, which was enough to meet the necessities of the day, but not sufficient to enable us to take in the usual quantity of bread. this morning we were in much need, not only because there were no means for procuring dinner in the boys� and girls�-orphan-houses, but also because, this being saturday, we had to procure provisions for two days. when brother b. went to the infant-orphan-house, to make inquiry about the demands for today, he was informed that money had been put into the box there, which was found to be s. there came in also in the morning s, besides. this l. s. was more than sufficient to purchase all that was needed for dinner. between twelve and one o�clock there arrived a parcel from clapham, which contained several donations for the orphans, amounting to l. l s., besides a pair of sheets and pillow cases, frocks, handkerchiefs, caps, stuff petticoat, chemises, bags, little shirt, (all new), and several yards of prints and calico. in the evening came a box from worcester, which contained the following articles for sale: a valuable veil, silver ladles, a silver fork, pairs of new plated candlesticks, a fan, and italian books. there came also from the neighbourhood of wolverhampton, s. d. and seven books. thus the lord helped us through this day also, at the commencement of which we were so very poor, and needed several pounds. aug. . lord�s-day. as we have often found it to be the case, so it is again now. after the lord has tried our faith, he, in the love of his heart, gives us an abundance, to show that not in anger, but for the glory of his name, and for the trial of our faith he has allowed us to be poor. this morning i received from an aged and afflicted servant, l.; and a little afterwards l. from q. q. from another servant s.; also s. was put anonymously into the box at bethesda, besides the l. s. for rent. thus the lord has kindly given today l. s. aug. . saturday. since last monday had come in only l. by the profits of the sale of ladies� baskets, l. l s. d. by sale of articles, s. as two donations, and d. by reports. thus it happened that when this day began, though a saturday, we had only s. in hand. in the course of the morning came in s. d., and towards the evening s. d. this day we have been as poor in regard to our stores, as at any time. during the whole of this day, though saturday, we had only l. s. d, on this account we had to buy a smaller quantity of bread than usual, etc.; nevertheless the children have even this day lacked nothing, and there is a sufficient quantity of wholesome food till breakfast on monday morning. for many weeks past very little has come in for the other funds. the chief supply has been by the sale of bibles. last saturday i was not able to pay the whole of the weekly salaries of the teachers in the day schools, which, however, does not make me a debtor to them, as it is an understood thing, that they have not to look to me for payment, but to the lord. today again only s. was in hand, whilst several pounds were needed to pay the salaries. it appeared now plainly to be the will of the lord that, as all the labourers in the orphan-houses know about the state of the funds, so the brethren and sisters who labour in the day schools should share the trial of faith and the joy of faith with us. accordingly we all met, and after i had laid on their hearts, the importance of keeping to themselves, for the lord�s sake, the state of the funds, we prayed together. aug. . lord�s day. today the lord has again bountifully opened his hand for the orphans. there came in with ecclesiastes ix. , l.; from a sister, a servant, s.; and for rent l. s. besides this, was anonymously put into the box at bethesda, s. d. and s. d. sept. . though there was a good supply given to the matrons yesterday, yet, as the stock of provisions had been so low on saturday, the money was all spent by last evening; and had the lord not kindly sent in yesterday s., and today l. s., we should have been again in need. sept. . the day before yesterday, sept. , came a box from leeds, from sisters in the lord whom we have never seen, and of whom until now we have never heard, but on whose hearts the lord has laid his work in our hands. the box contained a variety of articles, to be sold for the benefit of the orphans. no money has come in the last two days, except s. which was given, and s. for things sold. on this account the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, but only s. / d. was found in them. to supply what was needed today, an article which came in the box from leeds was sold for s. and thus we were helped through the day. the sisters who sent the box from leeds wrote to us a most affectionate letter, in which they announced this and another box which is to follow, stating how much the lord had laid the work in our hand on their hearts. they may have little thought, when they sent off the box, that so soon the produce of one of the articles sent by them would supply our need. sept. . saturday. because there had come in so little during the last days, at least l. was requisite to supply the need of today. there was, however, not one penny in hand when the day commenced. last evening the labourers in the orphan-houses, together with the teachers of the day schools, met for prayer. this morning one of the teachers, who had a little money of his own, brought l. s. d. thus, as we had hoped, we were enabled to provide for the dinner. in the afternoon all of us met again for prayer. another teacher of the day schools gave s, d, and s. came in besides. but all this was not enough. there was no dinner provided for tomorrow, nor was there any money to take in milk tomorrow, and besides this a number of other little things were to be purchased, that there might be no real want of anything. now observe how our kind father helped us! between seven and eight this evening a sister, whose heart the lord has made willing to take on her the service of disposing of the articles which are sent for sale, brought l. s. d. for some of the things which came a fortnight ago from worcester, and last wednesday from leeds. the sister stated, that though she did not feel at all well, she had come because she had it so laid on her heart, that she could not stay away. our father knew our need, and therefore, though so late, he sent this help. thus we were richly provided with all we needed this saturday. sept. . the lord has kindly sent in today for the orphans l. s. d. for the need of tomorrow. one pound of this money was given by a servant, who has again and again given of late, and who has thus again and again been the means of supplying our need, when there was either nothing at all, or not sufficient in hand. when she gave me the money to-night, she told me that of late she had had the orphans particularly laid on her heart. l. s. was the produce of an orphan-box, which a sister was led so seasonably to send just now. sept. . this morning a brother from barnstaple, who came on saturday evening (that evening when we were so greatly tried, but so graciously delivered), gave me l. s. d., which the love of some saints at barnstaple had sent for the orphans, besides s. of his own. we have thus enough for today and tomorrow. there came in still further today, s. d. sept. . how kindly has the lord so ordered it that for some time past the income for the school-fund should have been so little, in order that thus we might be constrained to let the labourers in the day schools share our joys and our trials of faith, which had been before kept from them! but as above two years ago the lord ordered it so that it became needful to communicate to the labourers in the orphan-houses the state of the funds, and made it a blessing to them, so that i am now able to leave bristol, and yet the work goes on, so, i doubt not, the brethren and sisters who are teachers in the day schools will be greatly blessed by being thus partakers of our precious secret respecting the state of the funds. our prayer meetings have already been a blessing to us, and united us more than ever in the work. we have them now every morning at seven, and we shall continue them, the lord helping us, till we see his hand stretched forth, not merely in giving us means for the teachers, but also for other purposes; for we need a stove in one of the school rooms, a fresh supply of several kinds of bibles and new testaments, and it is desirable to have means to help missionary brethren who labour in dependence upon the lord for the supply of their temporal necessities. sept. . we are now meeting every morning at seven for prayer. with s. which was sent yesterday from the isle of wight for the orphans, we have commenced the day; but i believe that the lord will help us through this day also. evening. about twelve this morning a brother, a stranger, who is staying at ashton, near bristol, came with some of his family to the orphan-houses. while brother b. was for a few moments out of the room to fetch a key, the visiting brother took the opportunity of secretly putting something into the box at the boys�-orphan-house. brother b., however, perceived it before he could get away from the box, and, the brother being gone, our great need brought it out, when it was found to be l. thus the lord kindly has provided for the need of today and tomorrow. when this money was given we were exceedingly poor. for not only would there have been no means to take in the usual quantity of bread in one of the houses, but there was no money to take in milk in the afternoon in any of the houses. the lord knew our need, and therefore just now sent this brother. he gave also s, for reports. sept. . when now the l. of yesterday was again spent, the lord has kindly sent another l. there came in still further s. d. yesterday came in it. s., and today l. s. d. for the other funds. thus the lord, in answer to our petitions at the morning prayer meetings, has sent in a little for these funds also. sept. . the lord has sent in still further and more richly for the orphans. this morning l. was given to me which had been sent from trowbridge, and this afternoon a brother who came from scotland gave me l., and brought the following trinkets which were sent by a lady from scotland:-- clasps, a ring, pairs of ear-rings, a slide, a pin, a cross, and bracelets, all of gold. in the afternoon came in l. by sale of articles. sept. . the lord has sent in still more. this morning was sent l. through a banker in london, by the order of a sister at worcester; and s. was put into the box at my house. this has been a week of peculiar mercies, as above l. has been sent in, besides several articles. we have continued to meet for prayer every morning, from seven to eight. sept. . today came in l. s. d.,of which l. s. d. was for some of the articles sent from leeds. sept. . though during the last week above l. came in, yet, because the usual expenses for housekeeping were about l., and because most of the sisters who labour in the orphan-houses had not had for a long time any money for their own personal necessities, we were the day before yesterday again so poor, that only a few shillings were left. the lord, knowing this, sent in a little money, and, by a sister from the isle of wight, rings, brooches, pins, pair of ear-rings, pairs of studs, all of gold, chemises, and babies� shirts. today arrived from leeds, from two sisters in the lord before referred to, a second box, the first having come about a fortnight ago. this second box contained the following articles:-- silver dessert spoons, a pair of silver sugar tongs, a silver tea caddy spoon, plated forks, knife resters, a cream spoon, britannia metal tea spoons, a silver watch, a metal watch, a small telescope, cloak fastenings, pencils, a pen case with pieces of sealing wax, pairs of scissors, chimney ornaments, a boa ring, a chess board, purses with l. s. d., silver pocket knives, a silver pencil case, a ditto of brass, a bodkin case, a gold pin, a silver vinaigrette, needles, memorandum case, paper baskets, books, copies of a small english grammar (unbound), pamphlets, table mats, little tracts, pairs of stockings, pairs of socks, a thibet shawl, coloured frocks, caps, collars, neckerchiefs, muslin aprons, holland aprons, muslin frocks, babies� ditto, white gowns, remnants of print, habit shirts, a bonnet, a merino apron, a glass trumpet, a taper candlestick, several small pieces of riband and gauze, yards of silk fringe, cases of different kinds of cards, a crape scarf, some lining calico, little boxes, a straw basket, and about other various little articles. it is difficult to describe the peculiar pleasure which i had in unpacking the box, and in finding that all these articles were for the lord�s work.--there came in still further this evening s. besides other small donations since the th, there came into day l. for the other funds, as the answer to oft-repeated prayer; also, from liverpool, l. l s. d. thus the lord encourages our hearts in this part of the work likewise. sept. . the need of today for the orphans was supplied by the little which had come in yesterday, and by the l. s. d. which came in the second box from leeds. these two boxes from leeds have been sent most seasonably by the lord, and thus truly the sisters who sent them have been led by him to do so, according to what they wrote in a letter, which announced the arrival of the first box; "we feel deeply interested in your concerns, and our anxiety to serve you has increased by every new discovery of the kindness and goodness of god, in providing for your wants. indeed, we cannot but believe that the lord has put it into our hearts to help you, and we trust you will honour us, his unworthy servants, by believing that our gift is really his." there came in today l. s. by the sale of some of the articles sent in the first box from leeds, and by the sale of some other articles. thus our need for tomorrow is supplied. sept. . today the lord has sent again s. d. by sale of some of the articles sent from leeds, and l. s. from leicestershire, and also s. for children�s needlework. thus we had enough for tomorrow, being saturday. sept. . monday. by what was in hand for the orphans, and by what had come in yesterday, the need of today is more than supplied, as there is enough for tomorrow also. today a brother from the neighbourhood of london gave me l., to be laid out as it might be most needed. we have been praying many days for the school-bible�and missionary funds, i took it all for them. this brother knew nothing about our work, when he came three days since to bristol. thus the lord, to show his continued care over us, raises up new helpers. they that trust in the lord shall never be confounded! some who helped for a while may fall asleep in jesus; others may grow cold in the service of the lord; others may be as desirous as ever to help, but have no longer the means; others may have both a willing heart to help, and have also the means, but may see it the lord�s will to lay them out in another way;--and thus, from one cause or another, were we to lean upon man, we should surely be confounded; but, in leaning upon the living god alone, we are beyond disappointment, and beyond being forsaken because of death, or want of means, or want of love, or because of the claims of other work. how precious to have learned in any measure to stand with god alone in the world, and yet to be happy, and to know that surely no good thing shall be withheld from us whilst we walk uprightly! sept. . this morning there was again only s. in hand for the orphans. as this was not enough for the day, i opened the box in my house, in which i found s. d. the boxes in the orphan-houses were also opened, which contained s. / d. there came in also by the sale of a pair of stockings, s. d. this l., s. / d. was enough, and even s. more than was absolutely needed. the lord gave today another proof that he is still mindful of us, for a brother sent half a ton of coals to each of the three houses. sept. . yesterday our prayer, in our meeting at twelve o�clock, was especially for the supply of today. i was fully assured that the lord would send help, as now all our stores were again exhausted. accordingly, last evening a sister, into whose hands some of the articles, which came in the second box from leeds, had been put for sale, gave me l. s. d., being the payment for some of them. there came in a donation of s. besides. this l. s. d. served for this day. the lord be praised who has helped us thus! sept. . it is now half-past eleven. nothing has come in as yet. how the lord will help us through the day is not my care; for sure i am he will help. i am just going to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. perhaps the lord will again, at the time of the meeting, fill our mouths with praise, as he has done so many times. my soul waits on him for deliverance! how truly precious to have such a father as we have! sept. . when i went yesterday to the meeting for prayer, i found that some articles, which had come from leeds, had been sold for s. d., and that s. d. had been taken out of the box in the girls�-orphan-ho use. to this one of the labourers added s. of his own. this l. s. d. supplied all we needed yesterday; but there was now again nothing in hand to meet this day�s demands, which i knew would be great, on account of its being saturday. the lord, however, remembered our saturday�s necessities, and therefore sent in abundantly, so that we had even more than we needed for today, though we required no less than l. the way in which he kindly helped us, was this: first, l. came in for articles which had been sent from leeds; afterwards a little boy and girl brought two little savings� banks, filled with their little presents, amounting altogether to s l / d. in the evening came in still further l. for articles which had been sold, most of which had likewise been sent from leeds. thus the lord sent in altogether l. l s. l / d. in the course of the day, whilst it commenced without there being a penny in hand. sept. . today the lord has sent in still further l. s. d., of which s. d. was for articles sent from leeds, and l. with ecclesiastes ix. . sept. . yesterday we were again penniless, after the necessities of the three houses had been supplied. almost immediately afterwards came in l. l s. d., sufficient to supply the need of today. sept. . today there is nothing in hand. it is now a quarter past eleven, but nothing yet has come in. nevertheless the lord will surely help us this day also! about five minutes after i had written the above, i was informed by a note from brother b., that l. s. d. had come in in small donations. oct. . it is now again eleven o�clock, and the lord has not as yet been pleased to send in any thing for the necessities of this day. let me see now how the lord will again help us in the love of his heart; for he will surely help, though i know not how.--evening. when i went to the prayer meeting, i found that only s. had come in, but at the same time i was informed that the money, which had been divided yesterday among the matrons, was enough for today also. oct. . nothing came in yesterday, nor this morning. in addition to this, i was so engaged, that in the afternoon i had not even time to make inquiry how the lord had helped. thus it is often that i can do nothing but quietly go on with my engagements, casting all care upon the lord. when i came home this evening, the first thing that met my eyes was the following letter from a distance of many miles: "beloved brother,--five pounds are enclosed as from the lord, as i believe you stand in need of it for the use of the orphans. yours affectionately, f. w. truly, the lord, to whom we had spoken yesterday, had spoken for us, and told this brother that we were in need of money. after having read this letter, my eyes met two others. in the one i was informed by a brother, that he had sold two pairs of fire screens for s., and had sent the money. these screens had been for many months in his hands for sale, and now to-day, in this our poverty, a lady came to the shop and bought them. the other letter was from brother b., master of the boys in the boys�-orphan-house, which i give here: "i opened the boxes and found s. / d. in them. this was far from being sufficient. about four o�clock three persons came to the orphan-houses, and put into the box at the boys�-orphan-house s., into the box at the infant-orphan-house s., and into the box at the girls�-orphan-house s. thus i have had in all to divide l. s. / d., which meets the necessities of the day." oct. . it was exceedingly kind of the lord to send in so much yesterday; for the necessities of today, being saturday, required it all. and now, when there was again nothing in hand, there arrived this evening a large box, sent by a sister at stafford, whom i never saw, which contained l. s., and the following articles: gold rings, a silver ring washed, a locket, a gold brooch, single ear-rings, a watch hook, a silver watch-guard, silver-mounted eye glasses, vinaigrettes, purses, a silver buckle, old silver coins, silver pencil cases, pairs of bracelets, necklaces, waist buckles, a bracelet snap, a cloak fastening, a necklace snap, a yard measure, a mourning brooch, pincushions, a snuff box, a small looking glass, china boxes, a china inkstand, china cups and saucers, a china basket, china jugs, a scent bottle, a boa ring, shells, a boy�s cap, a pair of snuffers and stand, a little basket, a pair of screen handles, ornamental pens, artificial flowers, glass plates, counter plates, pairs of card racks, a comb, a pair of watch pockets, table mats, paintings, drawings, fans, a pair of garters, pairs of gloves, pairs of silk stockings, veils, a gauze scarf, ladies� bags, silk bands, floss silk scarfs, a gauze handkerchief, silk scarfs, a crape shawl, a silk shawl, muslin capes, yards of worn cotton lace, yards of muslin work, yards of print, a pinafore, a frock, a sampler, a pair of socks, a pair of ear-rings, and ladies� dresses.--one thing is particularly to be noticed respecting this donation, that the lord from time to time raises up fresh individuals to help us in the work, thereby continually reminding us, that he is not limited to any individuals in particular, neither are we, his children. oct. . today came in s. d., by sale of some of the articles sent from leeds. thus our need for tomorrow is supplied. oct. . l. s. d. came in again today, of which l. was from a brother whom i have never seen. oct. . today came in further by sale of articles which had been sent from leeds, l. s. d., also s. d. in small donations. oct. . l. s. d. came in today in small donations. it is now five weeks, since we have daily met for prayer. not indeed merely to ask for means, but for grace and wisdom for ourselves in reference to the work, for the conversion of the children under our care, for grace for those children who stand already on the lord�s side, for a blessing upon the circulation of the scriptures, for a blessing upon the work, with reference to the church at large, etc. but whilst we thus, as the spirit led us, prayed for various things, nevertheless the lack of means was that which had brought us day after day together. we asked the lord to give us the means which are needed for carrying on the day schools, for buying bibles, as several sorts are needed, and to enable us to assist missionary work in foreign countries. never at any previous time, since first the work commenced on march , , have we had to continue so long a time in prayer for these funds, without obtaining the answer. the lord, however, gave us grace to "continue in prayer," and keep our hearts in the assurance that he would help. now, though he delayed long, before he sent us the answer, in his own time he made it manifest, that he had not only not shut his ear against our prayer in anger, but that he had answered them even before we called; for there was sent today, from the east indies, a bank order for l., which had been sent off two months since, therefore several days before we even began to pray. it was left to me to apply this money as it might be needed. as we had so long, and so particularly prayed for these funds, i took the whole of it for them, and not for the orphan-fund. --the lord be praised for this precious answer. it was particularly precious, as leading the dear brethren and sisters who labour in the day schools, and who comparatively are little accustomed to this way, to see how good it is to wait upon the lord. oct. . all our wants for the orphans have been richly supplied during this week; and today, on my leaving for trowbridge in the lord�s service, i was able to send l. s. d. to the sisters, the matrons. oct. � . trowbridge. i have had a good season since i have been here. the lord has enabled me to rise very early, and i have thus had more than two hours of communion with him before breakfast, the fruit of which i have felt all the day long. the lord in mercy continue my enjoyment!--for the last three weeks i had been asked, yea pressed, to come here, to minister among the saints; but i could not clearly see it to be the lord�s will, and therefore did not go. now i came, assured that it was his will, and have been very happy, and greatly helped in my service here in every way, and i am fully assured that my labour has not been in vain. how good it is, even for this life, according to the lord�s bidding either to go or stay!--i have seen, whilst here, a young woman, the daughter of a brother and sister who were in communion with us, but who have both fallen asleep. while her father was living she hated the truth, but still she came to bethesda chapel. one day, whilst there, she was made to feel the power of the truth: and, since the death of her parents, the lord has granted an answer to their many prayers on her behalf; for she is now standing on the lord�s side. let believing parents continue in prayer for their children, and let them also continue affectionately and at suitable times to bring the truth before them, and to bring them to the preaching of the word: and in due season it will be manifested that their labours were not in vain. oct. . yesterday, while at trowbridge, i received from a sister, from the neighbourhood of london, l. for the orphans. in the evening, a sister, a servant, gave me s. this morning i gave myself again to prayer respecting the orphan-fund, as i had reason to believe that there was nothing in hand in bristol, except several pounds had come in since i left. soon after, a sister, a servant, gave me s., and, on leaving in the afternoon, a brother gave me l. when i came home this evening, i found that only l. s. d. had come in since i left, just sufficient to supply the need up to this evening, so that the help which the lord gave at trowbridge, in answer to prayer, came very seasonably to supply the need of tomorrow. oct. . tuesday. during these last three days we have again experienced the continued care of our loving father on behalf of the orphans. on saturday evening, when again there was no money at all remaining in my hands, a pair of silver mounted horns was anonymously left at my house. on the lord�s day i received l. s. yesterday the lord sent in still more abundantly; for in the morning came in l. from the neighbourhood of wolverhampton, and in the evening l. was given to me by d. c. this morning, a few minutes after i had been thinking that no potatoes had been sent yet for the orphans, and that we had no money to lay in a stock (for the l. which came in yesterday was at once sent off), a brother came and informed me that he had given orders that twenty sacks of good potatoes should be sent to the orphan-houses. thus our kind father continually cares for us. oct. . monday. the lord has been again very kind to us, during these last days. there came in since oct. , in small donations, s. d.; for knitting and by sale of stockings, s. on friday last, besides, there were sold stockings to the amount of s. d. in the evening a brother gave me l. this l. and the money for the stockings came in very seasonably, as it enabled us to supply the large demands of the next day. yesterday morning, when i took my hat from the rail, i found in one of my gloves a note, containing a l. note and the following words: " l. for the orphans, the rest for dear brother and sister muller," there came in still further yesterday l. s. d. thus we are again supplied for about three days. in reference to the note which was put into my hat, containing l., i just add, that i had repeatedly asked the lord for means for our own personal expenses, previous to the reception of it, as we had but very little money for ourselves. indeed the very moment, before i took my hat from the rail, i had risen from my knees, having again asked the lord for means for ourselves and for the orphans. oct. . the evening before last s. came in, being the produce of some work which a sister had done for the benefit of the orphans; and early this morning, while my candle was yet burning, a paper was brought, containing s. these two donations, with what little is in hand besides, supply our need for this day. oct. . saturday. there was no money in hand, my mind was particularly stirred up to open the box in my house. i did so, and found l. s. d. in it. the boxes in the orphan-houses were likewise opened, in which was found s. also a brother from tetbury gave s. d. thus the need of today was supplied. nov. . monday. l. s, is the need of today, and as l. s. has come in since saturday evening, we are helped for today. november and . only s. d. has come in since nov. nd, but the necessities of these two days were supplied by means of articles which had been given to be disposed of. nov. . only s. came in yesterday for knitting. we are now, without any thing, cast upon the lord. the need of today is l. s., which i am unable to send.--afternoon. there came in at three o�clock l. for some of the articles which had been sent from stafford, and which had been sold some time since, so that i was able to send the needful supplies. there came in d. besides. nov. . saturday. of the l. s. d. which was in hand the day before yesterday, there was so much left, that, with an addition of s. d., all the necessities of today could be supplied. this one of the labourers gave. nov. . lord�s day. today the lord has been again very kind, and looked upon us in our poverty. besides the l. s. for rent, i received with ecclesiastes ix. , l. i was also informed that two large sacks of oatmeal had been sent from glasgow as a present. in addition to all this, a brother told me that he had it in his heart to give l. worth of materials, for winter clothes for the children, leaving the material to my choice, according to the need, so that just what was most desirable might be given. (he, accordingly, sent a few days after, a large pair of good blankets, / yards of mixed beaver, and / yards of blue beaver for cloaks.) there was also s. put into the box at bethesda, with the words, "jehovah jireh." these words have often been refreshing to my soul for many years past, and i wrote them with a valuable diamond ring, set with ten brilliants, which was given to the orphans about twenty months since, upon a pane of glass in my room, which circumstance, in remembrance of the remarkable way in which that valuable ring came, has often cheered my heart, when in deep poverty my eyes have been cast upon "jehovah jireh"(i.e. the lord will provide) whilst sitting in my room. i purposed to have gone to trowbridge yesterday, and had settled it so on friday evening with brother ----. but no sooner had i decided to do so, than i felt no peace in the prospect of going. after having prayed about it on friday evening, and yesterday morning, i determined not to go, and i felt sure the lord had some reason for not allowing me to feel happy in the prospect of going. i began now to look out for blessings for this day, considering that the lord had kept me here for good to some souls. this evening i was especially led to press the truth on the consciences of the unconverted, entreating and beseeching them, and telling them also that i felt sure, the lord had, in mercy to some of them, kept me from going to trowbridge. i spoke on genesis vi. � . immediately after i saw fruit of the word. an individual fully opened his heart to me. i walked about with him till about ten o�clock, even as long as i had any strength left. [about ten days afterwards a brother told me of a poor drunkard who heard me that evening, and who since then had stayed up till about twelve o�clock every night to read the scriptures, and who had not been intoxicated since.] nov. . as only s. d. had come in for knitting, and s. d. as a donation for the orphans since the th, we were now again very poor. today there was s. more needed than there was in hand, which one of the labourers gave. there were sent today anonymously, nine sacks of potatoes, a proof that our father continues to be mindful of us, though we are now again so poor. nov. . only s. d. came in last night, s. d. of which is the produce of the work of a sister, and s. from a poor afflicted sister. this s. d. was very precious in my esteem, because it showed me afresh our father�s heart towards us, and it was a little to begin the day with. no more has come in this morning, when at twelve i heard from the orphan-houses that s. d. had been received for knitting, and that about eleven this morning a sovereign was left, anonymously, at the girls�-orphan house. the paper in which the sovereign was enclosed contained only the letters "a. u. s."--this was a precious deliverance. we have thus enough for today.--evening. there came in still further today for knitting s., and a little girl sent s. when i came home this evening, i found that a boy�s jacket and a sovereign had been left anonymously at my house. truly, these deliverances today have been very precious! we have now enough for tomorrow also. nov. . trowbridge. saturday. that which came in the evening before last supplied our need yesterday; but since then nothing has been received, and therefore there were no means to meet this day�s demands. i had to go this morning in the lord�s service to trowbridge, feeling assured that his time had now come for my going, and it required indeed looking at the power, wisdom, and love of our father, comfortably to leave my dear fellow-labourers, there being nothing in hand. my comfort was that the same kind father who had provided would provide. nov. . trowbridge. monday. this morning i received a letter from bristol, in which i was informed that on saturday came in s. d; also s. was given by one of the labourers. besides this were received s. by sale of articles, and three small donations, amounting to s. thus the lord most mercifully sent in l. s. d., which was enough to supply the absolute need. nov. . trowbridge. this morning i had again the report from bristol about yesterday, in order that, though unable to send means, i might help with my prayers. in a note written in the morning by brother b., and sent to my wife, he writes thus: "i know not whether the lord has sent in any money for the orphans or not. i have received none. sister ---- (one of the labourers) has given half a ton of coals to the boys�-orphan-house. there are coals needed at the girls�-orphan-house, and much money for the ordinary expenses. there is sufficient in all the houses for dinner. he has said, �i will never leave thee nor forsake thee,� so that we may boldly say, the lord is my helper." in the afternoon of the same day he writes: "i have delayed writing as long as i could. the lord has not sent any thing, but the sisters can do without taking in bread, and they had money enough to pay for the milk, except sister ----, who has, however, received a few shillings for some articles of her own, that she sold. thus we are supplied with the absolute necessities for today." in reference to the last lines i make a few remarks. at first sight it might appear as if it were a failure of the principles on which we act, that now and then individuals who are connected with the work have been obliged to sell articles of their own to procure things which were needed. but let it be remembered, that under no circumstances prayer for temporal supplies can be expected to prevail with the lord, except we are willing to part with money or any needless articles which we may have of our own. indeed an institution like the one under my care should not be carried on by any rich believer, on the principles on which we, by grace, are enabled to act, except it be that he were made willing himself to give of his own property, as long as he has any thing, whenever the institution is in real need. nov. . bristol. this morning at twelve i returned from trowbridge, where i had been very happy, and where the lord evidently used me this time. how happy a thing it is to go and to stay with the lord!--i found that yesterday some money had been put into the orphan-box at my house, which my wife had reason to believe was at least l. she therefore sent l. which had come in for the rent of the orphan-houses, in consideration of this, as she had not the key to the box. this l. met the necessities of yesterday, and with s. additional, which one of the labourers gave, was also enough for the dinner of today. there came in also yesterday from clapham, as a token that the lord allows us only to be poor for the trial of our faith, but not in anger, the following articles of clothing: frocks, pinafores, chemises, pocket handkerchiefs, petticoats, night caps, work bags (all new) a yard of merino, and silk papers. on my arrival at home i opened the box in my house, in which i found l. s. d., so that i had l. s. d. to send off, whereby the usual quantity of bread could be taken in. nov. . since sept. , , this has been, perhaps, of all the days the most trying. the poverty has been exceedingly great for the last six days. there had come in no money since yesterday. on this account no bread could be taken in, as far as the natural prospect went. nor was there any money at three in the afternoon to take in milk for tea, when brother b. came to me. however, we prayed together, and the lord had mercy. for one of the labourers found that he was able, which he knew not before, to give of his own s., so that there were the means to take in the milk, by the time that it is usually brought. this evening about six there came in still further s. d. by the sale of reports. thus, by the good hand of our god upon us, we were able to take in bread as usual. how very kind of the lord that he sent us an abundance of potatoes and two large sacks of oatmeal, before this season of deep poverty, as to pecuniary means, commenced! may the lord now in great pity look upon us, for we are in deeper poverty than ever, as with every day it increases, whilst there is no full deliverance. thanks be to the lord that my mind has been in peace this day also, though our faith has been so very much tried! thanks to him that my mind is in peace now, though there is nothing but want on every side before me, respecting tomorrow! surely, the lord will again, in his own time, more fully stretch forth his helping hand! nov. . nothing more had come in this morning. it was nearly three o�clock this afternoon, when brother b. called on me, to see whether any thing had come in; but i had received nothing. i was obliged to go out with a brother from devonshire, and therefore requested him to wait till i returned. about a quarter past three i came back, when, among several persons who were waiting at my house to converse with me, there was a sister whom i much desired to see about some church affair. i did so. when i had ended the conversation with her, about half-past three, she gave me l. for the orphans. more sweet, and more needed, were none of the previous deliverances. language cannot express the real joy in god which i had. i was free from, excitement. the circumstance did not un-fit me even for a single moment to attend to my other engagements. i was not in the least surprised, because, by grace, my soul had been waiting on god for deliverance. never had help been so long delayed. in none of the houses was milk for tea, and in one even no bread, and there was no money to purchase either. it was only a few minutes before the milkman came, when brother b. arrived at the orphan-houses with the money. yet even now it was more than an hour before the usual tea time. the lord be praised for this deliverance! such a week of deep poverty, as we have had since nov. , we never had before. yet, thanks to the lord! we have lacked nothing, and we have been kept from dishonouring him by unbelief. i further notice respecting this day, that before this l. was received there was sent to the infant-orphan-house a cart load of clumps of wood, when there were neither coals, nor money to buy any. nov. . saturday evening. the l. which came in yesterday afternoon is all expended. again i have not a penny in hand. we are, however, brought to the close of another week, and have now, a little at least, replenished our provision stock; and should the lord permit us to enter upon another week, he will surely provide according to our need. nov. . lord�s day. the lord has been again mindful of our need, and has sent us in the means to meet the demands of two days. besides the l. s. which came in for rent, a brother gave me this morning two sovereigns, a sister from a distance sent it., and a brother, who spent this day with us, put s. d. into the box at my house, which our need soon brought out. nov. . this evening were given, after all the money had been again disbursed, gold rings, small silver coins, a silver ring, silver studs, a silver buckle, a pair of ear-rings, a necklace, and a little box. nov. . as only s. d. had come in for knitting since the nd, we were now again very poor. the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, but only s. was found in them. in this our poverty l. came in this afternoon for some of the articles which had been sent from stafford on oct. rd, and which had been sold some time since. this money had been expected for some time, but came in only now, in this our great need. in the evening came in still further l. from the east indies. nov. . today were sent from newport, near barnstaple, rings, a brooch and s. nov. . this morning i received l. from a sister in dublin, before we were really in need; but this donation came very seasonably to meet the large demands of tomorrow, saturday, for which there is nothing in hand. there was also taken out of the boxes in the orphan-houses, this afternoon, l. s. d. nov. . saturday. there has come in again l. today. thus the lord has bountifully supplied our need during this week, always sending the means without allowing us to be so deeply tried as during the two previous weeks. nov. . the lord�s loving hand has again today provided richly for the orphans, for at least two days. there came in altogether l. s. d. dec. . today we were so poor as to the orphan-fund, that we should not have been able to meet the demands of the day; but the lord�s loving heart remembered us. there came in this morning l. s. for some of the articles which were sent some time since from stafford. i have purposely again and again mentioned how the help, which the love of some saints at leeds and stafford sent, delivered us, that it might be manifest that those donors were directed by the lord in this matter. dec. . when today there was again but little money in hand, because of the disbursements of yesterday, d. c. brought me l., which his wife a sister had saved out of housekeeping, for the benefit of the orphans. about an hour, after i had received this l., there was sent, in two post-office-orders, l. s. d. by a sister, being the produce of the sale of some trinkets; of which sum one half is to be used for the benefit of the orphans, and the other half for my own personal necessities. thus the lord has by this donation also provided for myself and family, when we were in much need. dec. . saturday morning. yesterday afternoon a sister left two sovereigns at my house for the orphans. the lord in the love of his heart, remembered our saturday�s necessities, and sent in this supply; for there was only s. d. in hand when this money came, and l. s. is needed for this day. evening. as there was now again only s. d. in hand, i gave myself to prayer, and immediately after i had risen from my knees, l. s. d. was given to me, for things which had been sold, being chiefly articles which had been sent from stafford. there was also a flute left anonymously at my house, this evening. dec. . today there came in still further l. s. d. dec. . again l. s. has come in. dec. . morning. this is the last day of the fifth year of the orphan work. hitherto the lord has helped us! this morning there was only l. s. d. in hand, but l. s. was needed for the supply of today. i therefore opened the box in my house, in which s. d. was found. this l. s. d. i sent off to the orphan-houses. evening. there came in during this day l. s. d.; out of this i had to pay away l. s., so that now, at the close of the year, though the balance amounts to l. s. / d., there is only s. / d. in hand, as the rest has been put by for the rent, which is due up to this time. with this s. / d. we have now to commence the sixth year, leaning upon the living god, who most assuredly during this year also will help us in every way, as our circumstances may call for it. at the close of these details (with reference to the year from dec. , , to dec. , ) i make a few remarks in connexion with them. . though our trials of faith during this year also have been many, and recurring more frequently than during any previous year, and though we have been often reduced to the greatest extremity, yet the orphans have lacked nothing; for they have always had good nourishing food, and the necessary articles of clothing, etc. . should it be supposed by any one in reading the plain details of our trials of faith during this year, that on account of them we have been disappointed in our expectations, or are discouraged in the work, my answer is, that the very reverse is the fact. such days were expected from the commencement of the work; nay, more than this, the chief end for which the institution was established is, that the church of christ at large might be benefited by seeing manifestly the hand of god stretched out on our behalf in the hour of need, in answer to prayer. our desire, therefore, is not that we may be without trials of faith, but that the lord graciously would be pleased to support us in the trial, that we may not dishonour him by distrust. . this way of living brings the lord remarkably near, he is, as it were, morning by morning inspecting our stores, that accordingly he may send help. greater and more manifest nearness of the lord�s presence i have never had, than when after breakfast there were no means for dinner, and then the lord provided the dinner for more than one hundred persons; or when, after dinner, there were no means for the tea, and yet the lord provided the tea; and all this without one single human being having been informed about our need. this moreover i add, that although we, who have been eye witnesses of these gracious interpositions of our father, have not been so benefited by them as we might and ought to have been, yet we have in some measure derived blessing from them. one thing is certain, that we are not tired of doing the lord�s work in this way. . it has been more that once observed, that such a way of living must lead the mind continually to think whence food, clothes, etc., are to come, and so unfit for spiritual exercises. now, in the first place, i answer, that our minds are very little tried about the necessaries of life, just because the care respecting them is laid upon our father, who, because we are his children, not only allows us to do so, but will have us to do so. secondly, it must be remembered, that, even if our minds were much tried about the supplies for the children, and the means for the other work, yet, because we look to the lord alone for these things, we should only be brought, by our sense of need, into the presence of our father, for the supply of it; and that is a blessing, and no injury to the soul. thirdly, our souls realize that for the glory of god and for the benefit of the church at large, it is that we have these trials of faith, and that leads again to god, to ask him for fresh supplies of grace, to be enabled to be faithful in this service. . my heart�s desire and prayer to god is, that all believers, who read this, may by these many answers to prayer be encouraged to pray, particularly as it regards the conversion of their friends and relations, their own state of heart, the state of the church at large, and the success of the preaching of the gospel. do not think, dear reader, that these things are peculiar to us, and cannot be enjoyed by all the saints. although every child of god is not called by the lord to establish schools and orphan-houses, and to trust in the lord for means for them; yet there is nothing on the part of the lord to hinder, why you may not know by experience, far more abundantly than we do now, his willingness to answer the prayers of his children. do but prove the faithfulness of god. do but carry your every want to him. only maintain an upright heart. but if you live in sin; if you wilfully and habitually do things, respecting which you know that they are contrary to the will of god, then you cannot expect to be heard by him. "if i regard iniquity in my heart, the lord will not hear me: but verily god hath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer." psalm lxvi. , . . as it regards the children of god, who by the labour of their hands, or in any business or profession, earn their bread, particularly the poorer classes of them, i give my affectionate yet solemn advice, to carry into practice the principles on which this institution is conducted, as it regards not going in debt. are you in debt? then make confession of sin respecting it. sincerely confess to the lord that you have sinned against rom. xiii. . and if you are resolved no more to contract debt, whatever may be the result, and you are waiting on the lord, and truly trust in him, your present debts will soon be paid. are you out of debt? then whatever your future want may be, be resolved, in the strength of jesus, rather to suffer the greatest privation, whilst waiting upon god for help, than to use unscriptural means, such as borrowing, taking goods on credit, etc., to deliver yourselves. this way needs but to be tried, in order that its excellency may be enjoyed. on dec. , , , and , we had public meetings, at which the account of the lord�s dealings with us during the last year, in respect of the orphan-houses, schools, etc., was given, for the benefit of any who desired to come. the preceding part of the narrative gives the substance of what was stated at those meetings, in reference to the many answers to prayer which the lord has granted to us during the past year. there are a few points more, which may be of interest to the believing reader, and which were then mentioned, which i shall now add. . there have been, during this year also, six day schools for poor children, entirely supported by the funds of the institution, all of which have been established by us. besides this, the rent for the school room of a seventh school, carried on by a sister, who is known to us, has been paid and two other such schools, out of bristol, have been assisted with bibles and testaments. the number of all the children that have had schooling in the day schools through the medium of the institution, since its formation, amounts to ; the number of those at present in the six day schools is . these day schools have defrayed, by the payments of the children, about the sixth part of their own expenses. . there is one sunday school entirely supported by the funds of the institution. . there has been since the formation of the institution one adult school connected with it, in which, on the lord�s day afternoons, since that time, about adults have been instructed. this school has been discontinued at the close of this year, and instead of it it is purposed to have a regular evening school for adults who cannot read. it is purposed to instruct them for about an hour and a half in reading and writing twice a week, and afterwards to read the scriptures for a short time to them, and to bring the truth before them. the school will commence at seven o�clock in the evening, and the instruction will be altogether free. . the number of bibles and testaments which have been circulated through the medium of the institution, during the last year, amounts to copies. there have been circulated, since march , , six thousand and forty-four copies of the scriptures. . there have been laid out during the last year, of the funds of the institution, l. s. d. for missionary purposes. . there are at present orphans in the three houses. the total number of the orphans who have been under our care from april , , to dec. , , amounts to . i notice further the following points in connexion with the orphan-houses. . without any one having been asked for any thing by us, the sum of , l. s. d. has been given to us, as the result of prayer to god, since the commencement of the work. . besides this also, a great variety of provisions, clothes, furniture, etc. . though there has been during this year as much, or more sickness, in the orphan-houses, than during any previous year; yet i own to the praise of the lord publicly, that it has been very little, considering the number of the children. for the future we purpose, according to the time, means, etc., which the lord may be pleased to give us, to attend to a fifth object, the circulation of such publications, as may be beneficial, with the blessing of god, to benefit both believers and unbelievers. we purpose either to buy or print tracts for unbelievers, and to sell them, or have them distributed, as opportunity maybe given; and to buy or print such publications, for circulation, as may be instrumental in directing the minds of believers to those truths which in these last days are more especially needed, or have been particularly lost sight of, and which may lead believers to return to the written word of god. the blessing of the lord upon the work in reference to the souls of the children. . during the last fourteen months there have been meetings purposely for children, at which the scriptures have been expounded to them. at these meetings an almost universal attention is manifested by them, which i thankfully ascribe to the lord, and upon which i look as a forerunner of greater blessing. . during the last year three of the sunday school children have been received into fellowship. . at the end of last year there had been eight orphans received into communion: during the present year fourteen have been received: in all twenty-two. . of those two who died during this year, one was an infant, and the other a girl about twelve years old. the latter, on the whole, a well behaved child, was for months ill in consumption before she died. the nearer she came to the end of her life, the greater was the solicitude of those under whose care she was, respecting the state of her heart, as she was evidently unprepared for eternity. but now we saw, what never had been witnessed in any other of the children to such a degree. this, on the whole, naturally amiable, meek, and quiet child, manifested not merely complete indifference to the truth, the nearer she came to the close of her life; but also showed much aversion, and, as far as she could, great enmity to the truth. at last she was evidently dying, yet altogether unprepared for death. in this state all the orphans in the girls�-orphan-house were assembled together, and the awful state of� this dying child was pointed out to the unbelieving orphans as a warning, and to the believing orphans as a subject for gratitude to god on behalf of themselves, that they, by grace, were in a different state; and it was laid on their hearts to give themselves to prayer for their dying companion. the labourers in the work were sustained to hope still, and to pray still, though charlotte lee remained opposed to the truth while in this dying state. however, unexpectedly she lived ten days longer, and about two days before her death she was so altogether different, that we have hope in her end. it was stated in the last year�s report, that we were looking for fruit upon our labours as it regards the conversion of the children, as the lord had given to us a measure of earnestness in praying for them. the lord has dealt with us according to our expectations. but i expect far more than what we have seen. while the chief object of our work has been, and is still, the manifestation of the heart of god towards his children, and the reality of power with god in prayer; yet, as we hoped, and as it has been our prayer, the lord gives to us also the joy of seeing one child after another brought to stand openly on the lord�s side.--as far as my experience goes, it appears to me that believers generally have expected far too little of present fruit upon their labours among children. there has been a hoping that the lord some day or other would own the instruction which they give to children, and would answer at some time or other, though after many years only, the prayers which they offer up on their behalf. now, while such passages as proverbs xxii. , ecclesiastes xi. , galatians vi. , cor. xv. , give unto us assurance not merely respecting every thing which we do for the lord, in general, but also respecting bringing up children in the fear of the lord, in particular, that our labour is not in vain in the lord; yet we have to guard against abusing such passages, by thinking it a matter of little moment whether we see present fruit or not; but, on the contrary, we should give the lord no rest till we see present fruit, and therefore in persevering, yet submissive, prayer, we should make known our requests unto god. i add, as an encouragement to believers who labour among children, that during the last two years, seventeen other young persons or children, from the age of eleven and a half to seventeen, have been received into fellowship among us, and that i am looking out now for many more to be converted, and that not merely of the orphans, but of the sunday and day school children. as in so many respects we live in remarkable times, so in this respect also, that the lord is working greatly among the children in many places. i most earnestly solicit all who know the reality of our privilege as the children of god, even that we have power with god, to help us with their prayers, that many more of the children may soon be converted, and that those who have made a profession of faith in the lord jesus may be enabled so to walk, as that the name of jesus may be magnified by them. the believing reader must know how great the aim of satan will be to lead those children, who, from nine years old, and upward, have been received into fellowship, back again into the world, and thereby seek to lead believers to give up looking for real conversion among children. the total of the expenses connected with the objects of-the institution, exclusive of the orphan-houses, from nov. , , to nov. , , is l. s. / d. the balance in hand on nov. , , was l. s. / d. the total of the expenses connected with the three orphan-houses, from dec. , , to dec. , , is l. s. / d. the balance in hand on dec. , , was l. s. / d. dec. . there was sent to us for ourselves, anonymously, a piece of beef, which came very seasonably, as we are just now again very poor. dec. . this morning a poor brother, who, like ourselves, lives in dependence upon the lord for his temporal supplies, whilst serving the lord in the ministry of the word, and who has been several days staying with us, gave to my wife s. d., for our own personal necessities, saying, that we might need it. this is indeed a most remarkable donation, both because of the individual from whom it came, and because of its having been given just now; for without it we should not have been able to provide for our temporal necessities this day. review of the year . i. as to the church. brethren and sisters brother craik and i found in communion, when we came to bristol. have been admitted into communion since we came to bristol. would be, therefore, the total number of those in fellowship with us, had there been no changes. but have left bristol. have left us, but are still in bristol. are under church discipline. have fallen asleep. are therefore to be deducted from , so that there are only at present in communion. have been added during the past year, of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the lord among us, besides, though they knew the lord, had never been in fellowship any where; had been at some time or other in fellowship, but most of them with saints not residing in bristol. ii. as to the supply of my temporal necessities: . the lord has been pleased to send me by the freewill offerings of the saints among whom i labour, through the instrumentality of the boxes £ s. / d. . through saints in and out of bristol, by presents in money £ s. d. . through family connection £ s. d. . in provisions, clothes, etc. worth to us at least £ s. d. altogether £ s. / d. how i know god answers prayer the personal testimony of one life-time by rosalind goforth (mrs. jonathan goforth) missionary in china since "they shall abundantly utter the memory of thy great goodness."--psalm : . "go . . . and tell them how great things the lord hath done for thee."--mark : . harper & brothers publishers new york and london copyright, , by harper & brothers printed in the united states of america foreword it seems fitting that this little book of personal testimonies to answered prayer should have a brief introductory word as to how they came to be written. the question has been asked by some who read many of these testimonies as they appeared in the pages of the sunday school times: "how could you write such personal and sacred incidents in your life?" i could not have written them but for a very clear, god-given leading. the story is as follows: when in canada on our first furloughs i was frequently amazed at the incredulity expressed when definite testimony was given to an answer to prayer. sometimes this was shown by an expressive shrug of the shoulders, sometimes by a sudden silence or turning of the topic of conversation, and sometimes more openly by the query: "how do you know that it might not have happened so, anyway?" gradually the impression deepened: "if they will not believe one, two, or a dozen testimonies, will they believe the combined testimonies of one whole life?" the more i thought of what it would mean to record the sacred incidents connected with answers to prayer the more i shrank from the publicity, and from undertaking the task. there were dozens of answers far too sacred for the public eye, which were known only to a few, others known only to god. but if the record were to carry weight with those who did not believe in the supernatural element in prayer, many personal and scarcely less sacred incidents must of necessity be made public. again and again i laid the matter aside as impossible. but i know now that the thing was of god. as months, even years, passed, the impelling sense that the record of answers to prayer _must_ be written gave me no rest. it was at the close of the - furlough--during which, as a family, we had been blessed with many and, to our weak faith, wonderful answers to prayer--that my oldest son urged me to put down in some definite form the answers to prayer of my life, and extracted from me a solemn promise that i would do so. but months passed after returning to china, and the record had not been touched. then came a sudden and serious illness which threatened my life, when the doctor told me i must not delay in getting my affairs in order. it was then that an overwhelming sense of regret took possession of me that i had not set down the prayer testimonies, and solemnly i covenanted with the lord that if he would raise me up they should be written. there was no more question of what others might think; the one thought was to obey. the lord raised me up; and although he had to deal with me very sternly once more before i really set myself to the task, the testimonies that are given here were written at last--most of them in odd moments of time during strenuous missionary journeys among the heathen. thus it will be seen that these incidents of answered prayer are not given as being more wonderful, or more worthy of record, than multitudes the world over could testify to; but they are written and sent out simply and only because _i had to write them or disobey god_. rosalind goforth. contents foreword how these testimonies came to be written iii i "getting things from god" the simplicity of petition ii early lessons in the life of faith led by a bird. toothache taken away. reward of seeking first the kingdom. financial aid. sunday-school scholars given. guidance in time of crisis. a prayer preparation for china. a beautiful seal on the new life iii "go forward on your knees" ( - ) the key-note of pioneer years. help in the language from the home base. prayer-opened doors. deliverance in time of peril. "kept by the power of god." prayer and medical work. converts from the first. wang feng-ao, the proud confucian scholar. wang fu-lin, the opium fiend. dr. hunter corbett's testimony. the result of obedience. from the gates of death. lord sandwich's testimony iv a god-given field ( - ) a promise given. the promise fulfilled. our great need. one need supplied--an evangelist. a second need supplied--a bible-woman. paying the price of petition. a touch of healing. a chinaman's faith,--the locust story! a christian woman's faith for her child. _our child died_--a case of unanswered prayer. a god of deliverances v our deliverance from the boxers ( ) a clear answer to prayers in the home church. led on through dangers and trials. safely brought through vi proving god's faithfulness ( - ) god must come first. a hard proposition. in the furnace. made willing in the day of god's power. testimony to god's abundant faithfulness. a bible-woman of exceptional power given. god meeting the home message--"retrench." abundant funds provided. a beautiful instance of "god's wireless." a case of "while they are yet speaking i will hear." the life made easier. a child's fever restrained. blessing in the work, converts given. a god-suggested remedy. chinese prevailing prayer for mr. goforth. women sent to us. doors for preaching opened. workers supplied abundantly. kept from smallpox. we may trust him wholly. vii the story of one furlough ( - ) meeting a condition of petition--obedience. six difficult doors opened. trusting for everything. apples sent in abundance. fruit, the best, in abundance. a telephone supplied. a fur coat. god's wonderful keeping power, a blessed experience. help for the children's sewing. another case of "god's wireless." a timely offer. a daughter's guardian provided. a case of the lord's lovingkindness--a red cloth ulster! too many to record viii our god of the impossible a blessed incident from keswick. a verse of a hymn given. a governess provided. rain withheld in answer to prayer. five pounds sent. sewing and prayer. a gracious leading, and a great need supplied. an incident in tientsin. more help with the sewing. a sewing machine supplied. a case of tuberculosis healed. two incidents of prayer and revival. fifty dollars sent for friends in need. another case of spiritual "wireless." led to a lost key ix to his praise! trusting god to supply needs. his faithfulness. prayer and dress. the restraining power of prayer--my son in the great war. a prayer answered abundantly for one at home. our god-given site. closing words. all in "abide." bible study on prayer x victory found childhood yearnings for the presence of christ. half-hearted conflict with sin in early years in china. pride and bad temper. secretly criticized by chinese women. how to live christ as well as preach him. heights and depths of spiritual experience. lifelong prayer for the fulness of the spirit. the conference at niagara-on-the-lake, june, . a speaker's message and leaflet on "the victorious life." christ accepted as saviour from the power of sin as well as from its penalty. the joy of realizing his indwelling presence. all summed up in one word, "resting." bible-study on "the life of victory in christ" i "getting things from god" "are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before god? . . . fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows."--_the lord jesus christ._ the pages of this little book deal almost wholly with just one phase of prayer--petition. the record is almost entirely a personal testimony of what petition to my heavenly father has meant in meeting the everyday crises of my life. a prominent christian worker, who read some of these testimonies in the sunday school times, said to the writer: "to emphasize getting things from god, as you do, is to make prayer too material." to me this seems far from true. god is my father, i am his child. as truly as i delight to be sought for by my child when he is cold or hungry, ill, or in need of protection, so is it with my heavenly father. prayer has been hedged about with too many man-made rules. i am convinced that god has intended prayer to be as simple and natural, and as constant a part of our spiritual life, as the intercourse between a child and his parent in the home. and as a large part of that intercourse between child and parent is simply asking and receiving, just so is it with us and our heavenly parent. perhaps, however, the most blessed element in this asking and getting from god lies in the strengthening of faith which comes when a definite request has been granted. what more helpful and inspiring than a ringing testimony of _what god has done_? as i have recalled the past in writing these incidents, one of the most precious memories is that of an evening when a number of friends had gathered in our home. the conversation turned on answered prayer. for more than two hours we vied with one another in recounting personal incidents of god's wonderful work; and the inspiration of that evening still abides. a christian minister once said to me: "is it possible that the great god of the universe, the maker and ruler of mankind, could or would, as you would make out, take interest in such a trifle as the trimming of a hat! to me it is preposterous!" yet did not our lord jesus christ say: "the very hairs of your head are all numbered"; and "not one sparrow is forgotten before god"; and again, "your heavenly father knoweth what ye have need of _before_ ye ask him"? it is true that "there is nothing too great for god's power"; and it is just as true that "there is nothing too small for his love!" if we believe god's word we must believe, as dan crawford has tersely and beautifully expressed it, that "the god of the infinite is the god of the infinitesimal." yes, he "who clears the grounding berg and guides the grinding floe, he hears the cry of the little kit fox and the lemming of the snow!" no more wonderful testimony, perhaps, has ever been given of god's willingness to help in every emergency of life, than that which mary slessor gave, when asked to tell what prayer had meant to her. "my life," she wrote, "is one long daily, hourly record of answered prayer. for physical health, for mental overstrain, for guidance given marvelously, for errors and dangers everted, for enmity to the gospel subdued, for food provided at the exact hour needed, for everything that goes to make up life and my poor service. i can testify, with a full and often wonder-stricken awe, that i believe god answers prayer. _i know god answers prayer!_" i have been asked the question: "has god _always_ given you just what you have asked for?" oh, no! for him to have done so would have been great unkindness. for instance: when i was a young woman i prayed for three years that god would grant me a certain petition. sometimes i pleaded for this as for life itself, so intensely did i want it. then god showed me very clearly that i was praying against his will. i resigned my will to his in the matter, and a few months later god gave what was infinitely better. i have often praised him for denying my prayer; for had he granted it i could never have come to china. then, too, we must remember that many of our prayers, though always heard, are not granted because of some sin harbored in the life, or because of unbelief, or of failure to meet some other bible-recorded condition governing prevailing prayer. (see bible study on pages , .) the following incidents of answered prayer are by no means a complete record. how could they be, when no record of prayer has been kept all these fifty years? had there been, i doubt not that volumes could have been written to the glory of god's grace and power in answering prayer. but even from what is recorded here i, too, can say from a full heart, _i know god answers prayer_. "he answered prayer: so sweetly that i stand amid the blessing of his wondrous hand and marvel at the miracle i see, the favours that his love hath wrought for me. pray on for the impossible, and dare upon thy banner this brave motto bear, 'my father answers prayer.'" ii early lessons in the life of faith "i love the lord, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications."--_psalm : ._ when a very little child, so young i can remember nothing earlier, a severe thunderstorm passed over our home. terrified, i ran to my mother, who placed my hands together, and pointing upward repeated over and over again the one word "jesus." more than fifty years have passed since that day, but the impression left upon my child-mind, of a being invisible but able to hear and help, has never been effaced. * * * * * the most precious recollections of early childhood are associated with stories told us by our mother, many of which illustrated the power of prayer. one that made a specially deep impression upon me was about our grandfather, who as a little boy went to visit cousins in the south of england, their home being situated close to a dense forest. one day the children, lured by the beautiful wild flowers, became hopelessly lost in the woods. after trying in vain to find a way out, the eldest, a young girl, called the frightened, crying little ones around her and said: "when mother died she told us to always tell jesus if we were in any trouble. let us kneel down, and ask him to take us home." they knelt, and as she prayed one of the little ones opened his eyes, to find a bird so close to his hand that he reached out for it. the bird hopped away, but kept so close to the child as to lead him on. soon all were joining in the chase after the bird, which flew or hopped in front or just above, and sometimes on the ground almost within reach. then suddenly it flew into the air and away. the children looked up to find themselves on the edge of the woods and in sight of home. with such influences bearing upon one at an impressionable age, it is not surprising that i came even as a very little child to just "tell jesus" when in trouble. * * * * * through the mists of memory one incident comes out clearly, which occurred when i was six or seven years of age. while playing one day in the garden, i was seized with what we then called "jumping" toothache. i ran to my mother for comfort, but nothing she could do seemed to ease the pain. the nerve must have become exposed, for the pain was acute. suddenly i thought, "jesus can help me," and just as i was, with my face pressed against my mother's breast, i said in my heart: "lord jesus, if you will take away this toothache right now, _now_, i will be your little girl for three years." before the prayer was well uttered the pain was entirely gone. i believed that jesus had taken it away; and the result was that for years, when tempted to be naughty, i was afraid to do what i knew was wrong lest, if i broke my side of what i felt to be a compact, the toothache would return. this little incident had a real influence over my early life, gave me a constant sense of the reality of a divine presence, and so helped to prepare me for the public confession of christ as my saviour a few years later, at the age of eleven. * * * * * about a year after my confession of christ an incident occurred which greatly strengthened my faith, and led me to look to god as a father in a new way. when easter sunday morning came it was so warm only spring clothes could be worn. my sister and i decided at breakfast that we would not go to church, as we had only our old winter dresses. going to my room, i turned to my bible to study it, when it opened at the sixth chapter of matthew, and my eye rested on these words: "why take ye thought for raiment . . . seek ye first the kingdom of god, and all these things shall be added unto you." it was as if god spoke the words directly to me. i determined to go to church, even if i had to humiliate myself by going in my old winter dress. the lord was true to his promise; i can still feel the power the resurrection messages had upon my heart that day so long ago. and further, on the following day a box came from a distant aunt, containing not only new dresses but much else that might well be included in the "all these things." * * * * * an unforgetable proof of god's loving care came to us as a family about this time, when my parents were face to face with a serious financial crisis. isaiah : was literally fulfilled: "before they call, i will answer; and while they are yet speaking, i will hear." at that time, it is necessary to state, we depended on a quarterly income, which came through my mother's lawyer in england. unusual circumstances had so drained our resources that we found ourselves, in the middle of the quarter, with barely sufficient to meet a week's needs. my dear mother assured us that the lord would provide; that he would not forsake those who put their trust in him. that very day a letter came from the lawyer in england, enclosing a draft for a sum ample to meet our needs till the regular remittance should arrive. this unexpected and timely draft proved to be a bonus, which did not occur again. * * * * * some years later, having moved to a strange city, a great longing came to do some definite service for my master. one day there came to the bible class i attended a call for teachers, to aid in a sunday-school near by. when i presented myself before the superintendent of this sunday-school the following sunday, and offered my services, it is not much wonder i received a rebuff, for i was young and quite unknown. i was told that if i wished a class, it would be well for me to find my own scholars. i can remember how a lump seemed choking me all the way home that day. at last, determining not to be baffled, i prayed the lord to help me get some scholars. i went forth praying every step of the way, the following saturday afternoon; and canvassing just one short street near our home, i received the promise of nineteen children for sunday-school. the next day a rather victorious young woman walked up to the sunday-school superintendent with seventeen children following. needless to say i was given a class. in the autumn of the toronto mission union, a faith mission, decided to establish a branch mission in the east end slums of that city. three others with myself were deputed to open this work. everything connected with it was entirely new to me; but most helpful and inspiring i found it. for in face of tremendous difficulties, that seemed to my inexperienced eyes insurmountable, i learned that prayer was the secret which overcame every obstacle, the key that unlocked every closed door. i felt like a child learning a new and wonderful lesson--as i saw benches, tables, chairs, stove, fuel, lamps, oil, even an organ, coming in answer to definite prayer for these things. but best sight of all was when men and women, deep in sin, were converted and changed into workers for god, in answer to prayer. praise god for the lessons then learned, which were invaluable later when facing the heathen. * * * * * the time came when two diverse paths lay before me--one to england, as an artist; one to china, as a missionary. circumstances made a definite decision most difficult. i thought i had tried every means to find out god's will for me, and no light had come. but in a day of great trouble, when my precious mother's very life seemed to hang in the balance, i shut myself up with god's word, praying definitely for him to guide me to some passage by which i might know his will for my life. my bible opening at the fifteenth chapter of john's gospel, the sixteenth verse seemed to come as a message to me: "ye have not chosen me, but i have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit." going to my dear mother and telling her of the message god had given me, she said: "i dare not fight against god." from that time the last hindrance from going to china was removed. surely the wonderful way god has kept his child for more than thirty years in china is proof that this "call" was not a mistaken one. "in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he will make plain thy paths" (prov. : , marg.). during the summer of a book written by dr. hudson taylor came into my hands. in "china's spiritual needs and claims" the writer told many instances of god's gracious provision in answer to prayer. the incidents related impressed me deeply. a little later, a few weeks before my marriage, when i found i was short fifty dollars of what i would need to be married free of debt, i resolved not to let others know of my need, but to just trust god to send it to me. the thought came--if you cannot trust god for this, when hudson taylor could trust for so much more, are you worthy to be a missionary? it was my first experience of trusting quite alone for money. i was sorely tempted to give others just a hint of my need. but i was kept back from doing so; and though i had a week or more of severe testing, peace of mind and the assurance that god would supply my need, came at length. the answer, however, did not come till the very last night before the wedding. that evening a number of my fellow-workers from the east end mission called, and presented me with a beautifully illuminated address and a purse. after these friends had left i returned to my home circle assembled in the back parlor, and showed them the address and the purse unopened! not for a moment did i think there was anything in the purse till my brother said: "you foolish girl, why don't you open it?" i opened the purse, and found it contained a check for fifty dollars! this incident has ever remained peculiarly precious; for it seemed to us a seal of god upon the new life opening before us. iii "go forward on your knees" - "i will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: i will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron" (isa. : ). in attempting to record what prayer meant in our early pioneer days, other than purely personal testimonies must be given; for we were, as a little band of missionaries, bound together in our common needs and dangers by a very close bond. * * * * * in october, , my husband was appointed by the canadian presbyterian church to open a new field, in the northern section of the province of honan, china. we left canada the following january, reaching china in march, . not till then did we realize the tremendous difficulties of the task before us. dr. hudson taylor, of the china inland mission, writing to us at this time, said: "we understand north honan is to be your field; we, as a mission, have tried for ten years to enter that province from the south, and have only just succeeded. it is one of the most anti-foreign provinces in china. . . . brother, if you would enter that province, _you must go forward on your knees_." these words gave the key-note to our early pioneer years. would that a faithful record had been kept of god's faithfulness in answering prayer! our strength as a mission and as individuals, during those years so fraught with dangers and difficulties, lay in the fact that we did realize the hopelessness of our task apart from divine aid. * * * * * the following incident occurred while we were still outside honan, studying the language at a sister mission. it illustrates the importance of prayer from the home base for those on the field. my husband was finding great difficulty in acquiring the language; he studied faithfully many hours daily, but made painfully slow progress. he and his colleague went regularly together to the street chapel, to practise preaching in chinese to the people; but, though mr. goforth had come to china almost a year before the other missionary, the people would ask the latter to speak instead of mr. goforth, saying they understood him better. one day, just before starting as usual for the chapel, my husband said: "if the lord does not give me very special help in this language i fear i shall be a failure as a missionary." some hours later he returned, his face beaming with joy. he told me that he realized most unusual help when his turn came to speak; sentences came to his mind as never before; and not only had he made himself understood, but some had appeared much moved, coming up afterward to have further conversation with him. so delighted and encouraged was he with this experience that he made a careful note of it in his diary. some two months and a half later a letter came from a student in knox college, saying that on a certain evening a number of students had met specially to pray for mr. goforth. the power of prayer was such, and the presence of god so manifestly felt, that they decided to write and ask mr. goforth if any special help had come to him at that time. looking in his diary, he found that the time of their meeting corresponded with that time of special help in the language. "i cannot tell why there should come to me a thought of some one miles and years away, in swift insistence on the memory, unless there is a need that i should pray. we are too busy to spare thought for days together of some friends away; perhaps god does it for us--and we ought to read his signal as a sign to pray. perhaps just then my friend has fiercer fight, a more appalling weakness, a decay of courage, darkness, some lost sense of right; and so, in case he needs my prayers--i pray." at last the joyful news reached us women, waiting outside of honan, that our brethren had secured property in two centers. it would be difficult for those in the homeland to understand what the years of waiting had meant to some of us. the danger to those dear to us, touring in honan, was very great. for years they never left us to go on a tour without our being filled with dread lest they should never return; yet the lord, in his mercy, heard our prayers for them; and though often in grave danger, none received serious injury. this is not a history of the mission, but i cannot forbear giving here one incident illustrating how they were kept during those early days. * * * * * two of our brethren, after renting property at a town just within the boundary of honan, and near the wei river, moved in, intending to spend the winter there; but a sudden and bitter persecution arose, just as they had become settled. the mission premises were attacked by a mob, and everything was looted. the two men were roughly handled, one being dragged about the courtyard. they found themselves at last left alone, their lives spared, but everything gone. their position was serious in the extreme--several days' journey away from friends, with no money, no bedding, and no clothes but those upon them, and the cold winter begun. in their extremity, they knelt down and committed themselves to the lord. and according to his promise he delivered them out of their distresses; for even while they prayed a brother missionary from a distant station was at hand. he arrived unexpectedly, without knowing what had occurred, a few hours after the looting had taken place. his coming at such an opportune moment filled the hearts of their heathen enemies with fear. money and goods were returned, and from that time the violent opposition of the people ceased. * * * * * a few months after the above incident several families moved into honan, and a permanent occupation was effected; but the hearts of the people seemed as adamant against us. they hated and distrusted us as if we were their worst enemies. the district in which we settled was known for its turbulent and anti-foreign spirit, and as a band of missionaries we were frequently in the gravest danger. many times we realized that we, as well as our fellow-workers at the other stations, were kept from serious harm only by the over-ruling, protecting power of god in answer to the many prayers which were going up for us all at this critical juncture in the history of our mission. the following are concrete examples of how god heard our prayers at this time. we had for our station doctor a man of splendid gifts. he was a gold medalist, with years of special training and hospital experience, and was looked upon as one of the rising physicians in the city from which he came. imagine his disappointment, therefore, when month after month passed and scarcely a good case came to the hospital. the people did not know what he could do, and moreover they were afraid to trust themselves into his hands. we, as a little band of missionaries, began to pray definitely that the lord would send cases to the hospital which would open the hearts of the people toward us and our message. it was not long before we saw this prayer answered beyond all expectation. several very important cases came almost together, one so serious that the doctor hesitated for days before operating. when at last the operation did take place the doctor's hands were strengthened by our prayers, the patient came through safely, and a few days later was going around a living wonder to the people. very much depended upon the outcome of this and other serious operations. had the patients died under the doctor's hands, it would have been quite sufficient to have caused the destruction of the mission premises and the life of every missionary. three years later the hospital records showed that there had been twenty-eight thousand treatments in one year. again, we kept praying that the lord would give us converts from the very beginning. we had heard of missionaries in india, china, and elsewhere, who had worked for many years without gaining converts; but we did not believe that this was god's will for us. we believed that it was his pleasure and purpose to save men and women through his human channels, and why not from the beginning? so we kept praying and working and expecting converts, and god gave them to us. the experience of thirty years has confirmed this belief. space permits the mention of but two of these earliest converts. the first was wang feng-ao, who came with us into honan as mr. goforth's personal teacher. he was a man of high degree, equal to the western m. a., and was one of the proudest and most overbearing of confucian scholars. he despised the missionaries and their teaching, and so great was his opposition that he would beat his wife every time she came to see us or listen to our message. but mr. goforth kept praying for this man, and using all his influence to win him for christ. before many months passed a great change had come over mr. wang; his proud, overbearing manner had changed, and he became a humble, devout follower of the lowly nazarene. god used a dream to awaken this man's conscience--as is not uncommon in china. one night he dreamed he was struggling in a deep, miry pit; but try as he would he could find no way of escape. when about to give up in despair, he looked up and saw mr. goforth and another missionary on the bank above him, with their hands stretched out to save him. again he sought for some other way of escape; but finding none, he allowed them to draw him up. this man, later on, became mr. goforth's most valued evangelist. for many years his splendid gifts were used to the glory of his master in the work among the scholar class in the changtefu district. he has long since passed to his reward, dying as he had lived, trusting only in the merit of jesus christ for salvation. * * * * * another of the bright glints, in the darkness of those earliest days in honan, was the remarkable conversion of wang fu-lin. for many years his business had been that of a public story-teller; but when mr. goforth came across him he was reduced to an utter wreck through opium smoking. he accepted the gospel, but for a long time seemed too weak to break off the opium habit. again and again he tried to do so, but failed hopelessly each time. the poor fellow seemed almost past hope, when one day mr. goforth brought him to the mission in his cart. the ten days that followed can never be forgotten by those who watched wang fu-lin struggle for physical and spiritual life. i verily believe nothing but prayer could have brought him through. at the end of the ten days the power of opium was broken, and wang fu-lin came out of the struggle a new man in christ jesus. i shall have occasion to speak of this man again. * * * * * in all the cases of divine healing cited in this record it will be noted that god healed in answer to prayer either when the doctors had done all in their power and hope had been abandoned, or when we were out of reach of medical aid. soon after coming to china the rev. hunter corbett, one of the most devoted and saintly of god's missionaries, gave a testimony which later was used of god to save the writer from giving up service in china and returning home to canada. dr. corbett said that for fifteen years he had been laid aside every year with that terrible scourge of the east--dysentery; and the doctors at last gave a definite decision that he must return at once to the homeland and forsake china. but, said the grand old man: "i knew god had called me to china, and i also knew that god did not change. so what could i do? i dared not go back on my call; so i determined that if i could not live in china i could die there; and from that time the disease lost its hold on me." this testimony was given over twenty-five years ago, when he had been almost thirty years in china! in january, , when well-nigh ninety years of age, this beloved and honored saint of god passed to higher service. for several years i had been affected just as dr. corbett had been, and each year the terrible disease seemed to be getting a firmer hold upon me. at last, one day my husband brought me the decision of the doctors, that i should return home. and as i lay there ill and weak, the temptation came to yield. but, as i remembered dr. corbett's testimony, and my own clear call, i felt that to go back would be to go against my own conscience. i therefore determined to do as dr. corbett had done--leave myself in the lord's hands--whether for life or for death. this happened more than twenty years ago, and since then i have had very little trouble from that dread disease. yes, the deeper the need, and the more bitter the extremity, the greater the opportunity for god to show forth his mighty power in our lives, if we but give him a chance by unswerving obedience at any cost. "in the day when i cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul" (psa. : ). * * * * * during our fourth year in china, when we were spending the hot season at the coast, our little son, eighteen months old, was taken very ill with dysentery. after several days' fight for the child's life came the realization, one evening, that the angel of death was at hand. my whole soul rebelled; i actually seemed to hate god; i could see nothing but cruel injustice in it all; and the child seemed to be fast going. my husband and i knelt down beside the little one's bedside, and he pleaded earnestly with me to yield my will and my child to god. after a long and bitter struggle god gained the victory, and i told my husband i would give my child to the lord. then my husband prayed, committing the precious soul into the lord's keeping. while he was praying i noticed that the rapid, hard breathing of the child had ceased. thinking my darling was gone, i hastened for a light, for it was dark; but on examining the child's face i found that he had sunk into a deep, sound, natural sleep, which lasted most of the night. the following day he was practically well of the dysentery. to me it has always seemed that the lord tested me to almost the last moment; then, when i yielded my dearest treasure to him and put my lord first, he gave back the child. * * * * * while writing the above i came across an extract from the christian of march , , in which the editor said: "speaking at the annual meeting of the huntingdon county hospital, lord sandwich referred to the power of spiritual healing, and premising that the finite mind cannot measure the power of the infinite, said he 'looked forward to the day when the spiritual doctrine of healing and the physical discoveries of science will blend in harmonious combination, to the glory of god and the benefit of humanity.'" iv a god-given field ( - ) "lord, there is none beside thee to help, between the mighty and him that hath no strength; help us, o lord our god; for we rely on thee, and in thy name are come against this multitude" ( chron. : ). the story of the opening of changte is so connected by a chain of prayer that to give isolated instances of prayer would be to break the chain. * * * * * a few months after our arrival in china an old, experienced missionary kindly volunteered to conduct mr. goforth and his colleague, who had just arrived, through north honan, that they might see the field for themselves. traveling southward by cart, they crossed the border into honan early one morning. as my husband walked beside the carts, that morning, he felt led to pray that the lord would give that section of honan to him as his field. the assurance came that his prayer was granted. opening his daily textbook, he found the passage for that morning was from isaiah : - . like a precious promise of future blessing for that field came the words: "as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: so shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void." for six years, however, our faith was sorely tested. of all places, changte seemed most determined to keep out the missionary. and there were other difficulties in the way. a presbytery had been formed as others joined us, and all matters had to be decided by that body. two stations that had been opened, where a foothold could first be gained, required all, and more than all, the force we then had. so for six years the door to changte remained fast closed. but during all those years mr. goforth never once lost sight of god's promise to him, nor failed to believe it. again and again, when mr. goforth and his colleague visited the city, they were mobbed and threatened, the people showing the utmost hostility. but the day came, at last, when the long-prayed-for permission from the presbytery to open changte was granted. the very next morning found mr. goforth _en route_ for changte, to secure property for a mission site. often has he told how, all the way over that day to changte, he prayed the lord to open the hearts of the people, and make them willing to give him the property most suitable for the work. within three days of his reaching changte he had thirty-five offers of property, and was able to secure the very piece of land he had earlier chosen as most ideal for the mission. thus the lord did break in pieces the gates of brass which had kept us so long from our promised land. * * * * * a year later i joined my husband there, with our three little children. it was arranged that our colleague should take charge of the outside evangelism, while we opened work at the main station. to understand what it meant for us to have our need supplied, there should be some knowledge of what that need was. we decided, from the first, that no one should be turned from our doors. mr. goforth received the men in the front guest room, while the women and children came to our private quarters. during those first weeks and months hundreds, nay thousands, crowded to see us. day by day we were literally besieged. even at meal-time our windows were banked with faces. the questions ever before us those days were--how to make the most of this wonderful opportunity, which would never come again after the period of curiosity was past; how to win the friendship of this people, who showed in a hundred ways their hatred and distrust of us; how to reach their hearts with our wonderful message of a saviour's love? all that was in our power was to do, day by day, what we could with the strength that was given us. from early morning till dark, sometimes nine or ten hours a day, the strain of receiving and preaching to these crowds was kept up. my husband had numbers of workmen to oversee, material for building to purchase, and to see to all the hundred and one things so necessary in building up a new station. besides all this he had to receive, and preach to, the crowds that came. he had no evangelist, mr. wang being then loaned to mr. macg----. i had my three little children, and no nurse or bible-woman. when too exhausted to speak longer to the courtyard of women, i would send for my husband, who though tired out would speak in my stead. then we would rest ourselves, and entertain the crowd, by singing a hymn. so the days passed. but we soon realized that help must come, or we would both break down. one day mr. goforth came to me with his bible open at the promise, "my god shall supply all your need," and asked: "do we believe this? if we do, then god can and will supply us with some one to help preach to these crowds, if we ask in faith." he prayed very definitely for a man to preach. with my doubt-blinded heart, i thought it was as if he were asking for rain from a clear sky. yet, even while he prayed, god was moving one to come to us. a day or two later there appeared at the mission the converted opium fiend, wang fu-lin, whose conversion has been already recorded. no one could have looked less like the answer to our prayers than he did. fearfully emaciated from long years of excessive opium smoking, racked with a cough which three years later ended his life, dressed in such filthy rags as only a beggar would wear, he presented a pitiable sight. yet the lord seeth not as man seeth. after consulting together mr. goforth decided to try him for a few days, believing that he could at least testify to the power of god to save a man from his opium. soon he was reclothed in some of my husband's chinese garments; and within an hour or two of his entering the mission gate, practically a beggar, he was seated in charge of the men's chapel, so changed one could scarcely have recognized him. from the first day of his ministry at changte there was no doubt in the minds of any who heard him that he had indeed been sent to us by our gracious god, for he had in a remarkable degree the unction and power of the holy ghost. his gifts as a speaker were all consecrated to one object--the winning of souls to jesus christ. he seemed conscious that his days were few, and always spoke as a dying man to dying men. little wonder is it, therefore, that from the very beginning of his ministry in our chapel men were won to christ. god spared him to us for the foundation laying of the church at changte, then called him higher. * * * * * mr. goforth's need was relieved by the coming of wang fu-lin, but not mine. the remarkable way god had sent him, however, gave me courage and faith to trust god to give me a bible-woman. those who know anything of mission work in china will agree with me that it is far more difficult to find women than men who are able to preach the gospel; or if able, who are free for the work. but i was beginning to learn that god is limited only from the human side; and that he is always willing to give beyond our asking, if the human conditions he has so plainly laid down in his word are fulfilled. a short time after i had begun to ask my heavenly father definitely for a bible-woman, mr. mac g---- came in from a tour, and his first words were: "well, mrs. goforth, i believe we have a ready-made bible-woman for you!" then he told me how he had come across a widow and her son in a mountain village, who had heard the gospel from a recent convert out of one of the other stations. this man had been a member of the same religious sect as the widow and her son. when he found christ he at once thought of his friends, and went over the mountain to tell them. mrs. chang received the gospel gladly. she had been a preacher in that heathen sect, and had gained the fluency in speaking, and power in holding audiences, so necessary in the preaching of the gospel. the way was soon opened for her to come to me, and she became my constant companion and valuable assistant in the women's work during those early years. she witnessed a good confession in --being strung up by her thumbs when refusing to deny her lord. faithfully she served the lord as a bible-woman, until the time of her death in . during the first two or three years at chang te fu we lived in unhealthy chinese houses, which were low and damp. it was therefore thought best that we should have a good semi-foreign house built for us. the work at this time was so encouraging--converts being added weekly, and sometimes almost daily--that we feared lest the new house would hinder the work, and become a separating barrier between ourselves and the people. we therefore prayed that god would make the new house a means of reaching the people--a blessing, and not a hindrance. the answer to this prayer, as is often the case, depended largely upon ourselves. we had to be made willing to pay the price that the answer demanded. in other words, we came to see that in order that our prayer could be answered we would have to keep open house every day and all day, which was by no means easy. some assured us it was wrong, because it would make us cheap in the eyes of the chinese; others said it was wrong because of the danger of infection to the children. but time proved these objections to be unfounded. the very highest as well as the lowest were received, and their friendship won by this means. and, so far as i can remember, our children never met any contagion because of this way of receiving the people into our house. the climax in numbers was reached in the spring of , when eighteen hundred and thirty-five men and several hundred women were received by us in one day. these were first preached to in large bands, and then led through the house. we have seen evidences of the good of this plan in all parts of our field. it opened the hearts of the people toward us, and helped us to live down suspicion and distrust as nothing else could have done. * * * * * in may of we started down to tientsin by houseboat, with our children, for a much-needed rest and change. cold, wet weather soon set in. twelve days later, as we came in sight of tientsin, with a bitter north wind blowing, our eldest child went on deck without his overcoat, in disobedience to my orders. shortly after the child came in with a violent chill. that afternoon, when we arrived in tientsin, the doctors pronounced the verdict--pneumonia. the following day, shortly after noon, a second doctor, who had been called in consultation, met a friend on his way from our boy's bedside and told her he did not think the child could live till morning. i had taken his temperature, and found it to be . he was extremely restless, tossing in the burning fever. sitting down beside him, with a cry to the lord to help me, i said distinctly: "p----, you disobeyed me, and have thus brought this illness upon yourself. i forgive you; ask jesus to forgive you, and give yourself to him." the child looked at me for a moment steadily, then closed his eyes. i saw his lips move for a moment; then quietly he sank into a sound sleep. when he awoke, about dusk, i took his temperature, and found it . by the time the doctor returned it was normal, and did not rise again. although he had been having hemorrhage from the lungs, this ceased. is not jesus christ the same yesterday, to-day, and forever? why should we wonder, therefore, at his healing touch in this age? "according to your faith be it unto you." * * * * * during those early pioneer years, when laying the foundation of the changte church, my own weak faith was often rebuked when i saw the results of the simple, child-like faith of our chinese christians. some of those answers to prayer were of such an extraordinary character that, when told in the homeland, even ministers expressed doubts as to their genuineness. but, praise god, i know they are true. here are two concrete examples. li-ming, a warm-hearted, earnest evangelist, owned land some miles north of chang te fu. on one occasion, when visiting the place, he found the neighbors all busy placing around their fields little sticks with tiny flags. they believed this would keep the locusts from eating their grain. all urged li-ming to do the same, and to worship the locust god, or his grain would be destroyed. li-ming replied: "i worship the one only true god, and i will pray him to keep my grain, that you may know that he only is god." the locusts came and ate on all sides of li-ming's grain, but did not touch his. when mr. goforth heard this story he determined to get further proof, so he visited the place for himself, and inquired of li-ming's heathen neighbors what they knew of the matter. one and all testified that, when the locusts came, their grain was eaten and li-ming's was not. the lord jesus once said, after a conflict with unbelief and hypocrisy: "i thank thee, o father, lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes." our little gracie became ill with a terribly fatal disease, so common in malarious districts--enlarged spleen. the doctors pronounced her condition quite hopeless. one day a chinese christian woman came in with her little child, of about the same age as our gracie, and very ill with the same disease. the poor mother was in great distress, for the doctor had told her also that there was no hope. she thought that if we would plead with the doctor he could save her child. at last mr. goforth pointed to our little gracie, saying: "surely, if the doctor cannot save our child, neither can he save yours; your only hope and ours is in the lord himself." the mother was a poor, hard-working, ignorant woman, but she had the simple faith of a little child. some few weeks later she called again, and told me the following story: "when the pastor told me my only hope was in the lord, i believed him. when i reached home i called my husband, and together we had committed our child into the lord's hands. i felt perfectly sure the child would get well, so i did not take more care of him than of a well child. in about two weeks he seemed so perfectly well that i took him to the doctor again, and the doctor said that he could discover nothing the matter with him." that chinese child is now a grown-up, healthy man. and _our child died_. yet we had prayed for her as few, perhaps, have prayed for any child. why, then, was she not spared? i do not know. but i do know that there was in my life, at that time, the sin of bitterness toward another, and an unwillingness to forgive a wrong. this was quite sufficient to hinder any prayer, and did hinder for years, until it was set right. does this case of unanswered prayer shake my faith in god's willingness and power to answer prayer? no, no! my own child might just as reasonably decide never again to come to me with a request because i have, in my superior wisdom, denied a petition. is it not true, in our human relationships with our children, that we see best to grant at one time what we withhold at another? "what i do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter." and one of the most precious experiences of god's loving mercy came to me in connection with our little gracie's death. we had been warned that the end would probably come in convulsions; two of our dear children had been so taken. only a mother who has gone through such an experience can fully understand the horror of the possibility that such might come again at any time. one evening i was watching beside our little one, miss p---- being with me, when suddenly the child said very decidedly: "call papa; i want to see papa." i hesitated to rouse her father, as it was his time to rest; so i tried to put her off with some excuse; but again she repeated her request, and so i called her father, asking him to walk up and down with her until i returned. going into the next room i cried in an agony to the lord not to let gracie suffer; but, if it was indeed his will to take the child, then to do so without her suffering. as i prayed a wonderful peace came over me, and the promise came so clearly it was as if spoken: "before they call i will answer; and while they are yet speaking i will hear." rising, i was met at the door by miss p----who said: "gracie is with jesus." while i was on my knees our beloved child, after resting a few moments in her father's arms, had looked into his face with one of her loveliest smiles, and then quietly closed her eyes and had ceased to breathe. no struggle, no pain, but a "falling on sleep." "like as a father pitieth, . . . so the lord pitieth." * * * * * ever-darkening clouds gathered about us during the months following gracie's death; and while the storm did not burst in all its fury till the early summer of , yet the preceding winter was full of forebodings and constant alarms. on one occasion thousands gathered inside and outside our mission, evidently bent on serious mischief. my husband and his colleagues moved in and out all that day among the dense crowd which filled the front courtyards; while we women remained shut within closed houses, not knowing what moment the mob would break loose and destroy us all. what kept them back that day? what but trustful prayer! and the lord heard that day, and wonderfully restrained the violence of our enemies. we did not know then, but those experiences were preparing us for the greater trials and perils awaiting us all. v our deliverance from the boxers ( ) "god is unto us a god of deliverances" (psa. : , r. v.). "who delivered us out of so great a death, and will deliver: on whom we have set our hope that he will also still deliver" ( cor. : , r. v.). many times we were asked in the homeland to tell the story of our escape during the boxer uprising, and often the question was put, "if it was really god's power that saved you and others on that journey, then why did he not save those of his children who were so cruelly done to death?" for a time this question troubled me. why indeed? one day when seeking for light on the matter i was directed to the twelfth chapter of acts. there i found the only answer that can be given. we are told in the second verse that james was put to death by the sword; then the rest of the chapter is given to the detailed record of peter's wonderful deliverance in answer to prayer (vs. , ). in that day when all things shall be revealed i am convinced we shall see that _prayer_ had much to do in the working out of our deliverance. when the first cable was received in canada informing the home church of our party starting on that perilous journey, we are told a great wave of prayer went up for us from christians of all denominations. the presbyterian assembly of canada was meeting at the time, and one session was given up entirely to prayer on behalf of the missionaries in china. never had that body witnessed such a season of intense, united intercession. later when giving the story of our escape in the homeland, repeatedly we have had people come to us telling how, during the weeks which elapsed between the first cable informing the home church of our danger, and the second cable, which told of our safe arrival at the coast, they had never ceased to cry to god to save us. then, too, after all is said, we must believe god was glorified and god's purposes were fulfilled in the death of some as in the saved lives of others. the blood of the martyrs is still the seed of the church. it was in the month of june, , that an incident occurred which has ever been linked in my mind with the events of . i was about to leave toronto with my four children to join my husband in china, when a cable was received telling of the cruel massacre of mr. and mrs. stewart and others. deep and widespread sympathy was expressed and much anxiety felt for missionaries generally in china. many urged me to delay our return; but i felt it best to keep to our original plans, and a few days later found us bidding farewell to friends at the union station, toronto. just as the train was leaving a lady stepped forward quickly to the window and said, "you do not know me, but i have prayed the lord to give me a promise for you; it is this, take it as from him," and handed me a slip of paper. i opened the paper and read, "no weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper" (isa. : ). then and there i raised my heart to god in prayer that he would fulfil this promise to me and those dear to me; and as i prayed there came the clear assurance that the lord heard. never can we forget that winter of - . the clouds had begun to gather, and the mutterings of the coming storm were heard on all sides of us. repeatedly we were as a mission in gravest danger, and at such times were literally "shut up to god." the temper of the people was such that any little thing angering them would have been as a spark to gunpowder. from the time of the government crisis of the autumn of , we, in company with all other foreigners in china, realized that conditions were becoming serious, yet never did we expect or prepare for such a cataclysm as took place when the storm clouds suddenly burst in the early summer of . the first indication we had of coming danger was when our mail carriers running to and from tientsin were stopped and our mails returned. thus, cut off from the outside world, we had to depend solely upon the wild rumors afloat among the chinese for information. the country around us became daily more disturbed; day by day we could hear the beating of drums and the cries of the people for rain. the darkness and horror of those days, in the midst of which sickness and death entered our home, can never be forgotten. on the nineteenth of june our eldest daughter, florence, after a week of intense suffering, was released from pain. it was while her life was still hanging in the balance that we received the first communication from the american consul in chefoo urging us to flee. this message was quickly followed by another still more urgent. the question was, where could we flee? our usual route was by river boat two weeks to tientsin, but this way was blocked, the whole region being infested with boxers, and tientsin even then in a state of siege. the only possible route left open to us was southward by cart,--fourteen days to fan-cheng,--then ten or more days by houseboat to hankow. we faced such a journey at that time of the year with fear and trembling because of the children, the danger from heat and sun being very great. gladly would we have stayed, but the chinese christians urged us to go, saying they could escape more easily were we not there. we had with us our four remaining children: paul, nine; helen, six; ruth, under three; and baby wallace, eight months. their faithful chinese nurse, though weeping bitterly at parting from her old mother of almost eighty, decided to come with us. there were altogether in the party five men, six women, and five children, besides the servants and carters. many were the difficulties in the way of getting carts and other necessary things for the journey, but one by one all things needed were provided as we besought the lord to open the way. there were many indications on that journey that god's purpose was to save us; one of the most striking of these happened just as we were about to leave. the day previous to our departure a message passed through the city of chang te ho, the messenger riding at breakneck speed. this messenger, we learned later, was en-route for the provincial capital with the sealed message from the empress dowager commanding the death of all foreigners. we had planned first to take the direct route south, which would, as far as we can now see, have led us to our death, for this route would have taken us through the capital. almost at the last moment, and quite unaware of the danger on the direct route, we were led to change our plans and take a route farther west, though it made a considerably longer journey. we left chang te, june , , at daybreak. at wei hwei fu, the first large city to which we came, an attempt was made to break into our inn, but as we prayed the mob dispersed and we were left in peace. on july first we reached the north bank of the yellow river, and there for a short time (it was sunday afternoon) we rested under the trees. little did we dream that even then many, very many, of our fellow-missionaries and personal friends were being done to death by the merciless boxers. at sunset the ferry which carried us across the river reached the south bank, and here we found several missionaries and a party of engineers waiting for us. these latter were fully armed and had a fair escort. after some difficulty it was decided that we should all keep together, but in reality this party kept by themselves, except that we stayed in the same towns at night. each day that passed seemed harder than the last, the heat was intense, and the ten or twelve hours of bumping over rough roads in springless carts made even a bed spread on the ground a welcome resting-place. once, when mr. goforth had jumped off our cart to get fresh water for our head cloths, a crowd gathered round him and became very threatening, raising the cry, "kill, kill." all the other carts were ahead, and the carter would not wait for mr. goforth, as he was afraid. during the few moments that elapsed before my husband was allowed to join us even the carter turned pale with suspense,--and oh, how i prayed! except for a few similar passing dangers, nothing special occurred until the evening of july seventh, when we reached the small town of hsintien. we had heard during the day that the whole country ahead of us was in a state of ferment against the roman catholics. scarcely had we reached the inn when the engineers and the missionaries with them who had become increasingly alarmed at the condition of the country, informed us that they were going on to the large city of nan yang fu that night, but would leave us two soldiers and two of their carts. mr. goforth did not wish them to go, for he felt it would greatly increase our danger. shortly after they left us the mob began to gather outside our inn. the gate was barricaded with carts. for hours stones were thrown against the gate and demand was made for our money. a messenger was at once sent after the engineers' party, asking them to return. all that night was spent in sleepless suspense. early in the morning the messenger returned with the reply that they had failed to get help from the nan yang fu official and were obliged to push on. as soon as the carters heard we were thus left helpless a panic seized them, and it was with great difficulty they could be persuaded to harness their animals. all this time the crowd had been becoming more dense, as we could see through the cracks of the gate, and were ominously quiet. hints had been given us of coming danger, but that was all; none spoke of what all felt,--that we were probably going to our death. suddenly, without the slightest warning, i was seized with an overwhelming fear of what might be awaiting us. it was not the fear of _after_ death, but of probable torture, that took such awful hold of me. i thought, "can this be the christian courage i have looked for?" i went by myself and prayed for victory, but no help came. just then some one called us to a room for prayer before getting into our carts. scarcely able to walk for trembling, and utterly ashamed that others should see my state of panic,--for such it undoubtedly was,--i managed to reach a bench beside which my husband stood. he drew from his pocket a little book, "clarke's scripture promises," and read the verses his eye first fell upon. they were the following: "the eternal god is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, destroy them." "the god of jacob is our refuge." "thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, o my god." "i will strengthen thee; yea, i will help thee; yea, i will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. . . . the lord thy god will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not; i will help thee." "if god be for us, who can be against us?" "we may boldly say, the lord is my helper, and i will not fear what man shall do unto me." the effect of these words at such a time was remarkable. all realized that god was speaking to us. never was there a message more directly given to mortal man from his god than that message to us. from almost the first verse my whole soul seemed flooded with a great peace; all trace of panic vanished; and i felt god's presence was with us. indeed, his presence was so real it could scarcely have been more so had we seen a visible form. after prayer we all got on our carts, and one by one passed out into the densely crowded street. as we approached the city gate we could see that the road was black with crowds awaiting us. i had just remarked to my husband on how well we were getting through the crowds, when our carts passed through the gates. my husband turned pale as he pointed to a group of several hundred men, fully armed, awaiting us. they waited till all the carts had passed through the gate, then hurled down upon us a shower of stones, at the same time rushing forward and maiming or killing some of the animals. mr. goforth jumped down from our cart and cried to them, "take everything, but don't kill." his only answer was a blow. the confusion that followed was so great it would be impossible to describe the escape of each one in detail. each one later had his or her own testimony of that mighty and merciful deliverance. but i must give the details of mr. goforth's experience. one man struck him a blow on the neck with a great sword wielded with two hands. "somehow" the blunt edge of the sword struck his neck; the blow left a wide mark almost around his neck, but did no further harm. had the sharp edge struck his neck he would certainly have been beheaded! his thick helmet was cut almost to pieces, one blow cutting through the leather lining _just over the temple_, but without even scratching the skin! again he was felled to the ground, with a fearful sword cut, which entered the bone of the skull behind and almost cleft it in two. as he fell he seemed to hear distinctly a voice saying, "fear not, they are praying for you." rising from this blow, he was again struck down by a club. as he was falling almost unconscious to the ground he saw a horse coming at full speed toward him; when he became conscious again he found the horse had tripped and fallen (on level ground) so near that its tail almost touched him. the animal, kicking furiously, had served as a barrier between him and his assailants. while dazed and not knowing what to do a man came up as if to strike, but whispered, "leave the carts." by that time the onlookers began to rush forward to get the loot, but the attacking party felt the things were theirs, so desisted in their attack upon us in order to secure their booty. a word as to myself and the children. several fierce men with swords jumped on my cart. one struck at the baby, but i parried the blow with a pillow, and the little fellow only received a slight scratch on the forehead. then they dropped their swords and began tearing at our goods at the back of the cart. heavy boxes were dragged over us, and everything was taken. just then a dreadful looking man tried to reach us from the back of the cart with his sword, missing by an inch. i thought he would come to the front and continue his attack, but he did not. i had seen mr. goforth sink to the ground covered with blood twice, and had given him up for dead. just then paul, who had been in the last cart, jumped in, wild with delight at what he seemed to think was great fun, for he had run through the thick of the fight, dodging sword thrusts from all sides, and had succeeded in reaching me without a scratch. a moment later my husband came to the edge of the cart scarcely able to stand, saying, "get down quickly; we must not delay in getting away." as i was getting down one man snatched away my hat, another my shoes; but we were allowed to go. ruth was nowhere to be seen, and we hoped she was with the missionaries who had charge of her at the time of attack. i saw that mr. goforth's strength was failing fast, for he could scarcely walk, and as men began to follow i urged him forward with the baby and the other two children, and turning faced the men, begging them to have mercy on my children, for they had begun to stone us. some of us were black for days from the blows received then. they stopped and listened, then the leader said, "we've killed her husband, let her go." with this they ran back to the carts. i knew mr. goforth could not go far. we could see a small village not far distant, and to this we hastened, praying as we went that the lord would open the hearts of the people to receive us. here again paul seemed to feel no fear, but said, "mother, what does this put you in mind of? it puts me in mind of the henty books!" as we neared the village men came out to drive us away, but i begged them to help us. by this time mr. goforth had sunk to the ground. putting the baby in an old woman's arms, i knelt down beside my husband. the children were crying bitterly. mr. goforth looked as if he were dying. the women standing round us were weeping now. this was too much for the men, who came forward saying, "we will save you." one ran and got some stuff to put in the wounds, assuring us it would stop the flow of blood, and it did. this man helped me to bandage up the wounds with bandages made from garments taken from myself and the children. they helped my husband, and we followed them into a little hut, where they laid him on a straw bed and locked us in. hot water for bathing our bruises, food and drink were handed us through a small window, and we could hear them planning how they would save us. we told them how anxious we were to hear of our friends and little ruth, so they sent a man to inquire. we found that these people--the whole village--were mohammedans, and had taken no part in the attack. we felt that god had wonderfully directed our steps to that village. all that day mr. goforth lay still, but looked at times so very white that i feared the worst. never for one moment, i believe, during that day did i cease to pray for his life. and when mr. ----, one of our party, arrived about four o'clock looking for us, mr. goforth at once got up as if perfectly well, insisting on walking to the cart. to me, knowing how he had looked that day, it seemed only a miracle. his only answer to my protest was, "only pray; the lord will give me strength, as long as he has work for me to do." as we were leaving, the kind friends of the village gathered round insisting on my taking some old clothes to put round the children, who were almost naked, saying, "it will be chilly at night." as we went forward to join the others, mr. ---- told us how one by one all had escaped. dr. ---- was the only one beside mr. goforth seriously injured, the poor fellow having had his kneecap severed and the tendons of his right wrist badly cut, besides many other wounds. all that day our friends had been waiting by the roadside, unable to proceed without carts, owing to the doctor's condition. they had joined in one petition, that god would move the carters to come. those who know china and heathen carters will readily acknowledge that it was nothing short of a miracle--the miracle of answered prayer--that made these heathen carters come, after all they had already gone through. for come they did, five of them, all that were needed, now that our luggage was gone. we learned too, that our faithful chinese nurse, who had charge of ruth, had saved the child at the risk of her own life, lying upon the child and taking many cruel blows, till greed for loot drew the men off. we soon joined the rest of the party, and by six o'clock that evening we reached the large city of nang yang fu. the city wall was black with people, and as we entered the gate the wild crowds crushed against our carts. sometimes the animals staggered, and it seemed as if nothing could save the carts from being overturned. every moment or two a brick or stone would be hurled against the carts, and that cry, "kill, kill," which can never be forgotten when once heard, was shouted by perhaps hundreds of voices. yet the lord brought us through, and "no weapon prospered." when we reached the inn a wild mob of over a thousand men filled the inn yard; and as we alighted from the cart these men literally drove us before them into one room, which in a few moments was packed to suffocation. for probably an hour the crowd kept crushing us into one corner; then those outside became impatient at not being able to get in, and demanded that we be brought out. we managed to keep some of the ladies from going out; but the rest of us--men, women, and children--stood facing that seething multitude until relief came in the darkness. why did they not kill us then? why, indeed? none but an almighty god kept that crowd back. as soon as we had reached the city a servant was sent to the official demanding protection. it was dark when this man returned, in a state of great agitation; his story was that as he was waiting for an answer from the official he overheard a conversation between two soldiers, and gathered from what they said that the official had sent a party of fifty soldiers along the road that we would have to take, with the order that every one of us must be put to death. the official was afraid to have us killed in the city lest he should afterward be blamed; but by this plan he could say brigands had done the deed. so sure was this servant that we were all to be massacred that he would remain with us no longer, but returned that night to honan with the report that we were all killed. a consultation was held, and the question was, should we stay in the city and again demand protection, or should we go on and trust god to open our way? the latter course was decided upon. but for a long time the carters utterly refused to go farther with us. again prayer opened up our way, and by two o'clock in the morning all were ready to start. the official had sent a few foot-soldiers to guide us to _the right road_! (to the waylaying party). the night was very dark, and as we were passing through the gate of the city we noticed what seemed to be signal lights put out and drawn in. we all felt these to be signals to the waylaying party ahead. a short distance from the city, probably about one hundred yards, our carts suddenly stopped. some one ran up and whispered to mr. goforth, "paul and mr. ---- are missing." search was made for them, but without success. a veil must be drawn over those terrible hours of suspense; my faith seemed to fail me, and i could only cry in my agony, "if paul is gone, can i ever trust god again?" then i remembered how marvelously god had given me back my dear husband's life, and i just committed paul into his hands and waited to see what he would do. when all hope was given up of finding the missing ones, a cart was left behind with a trusted servant, and we went on. then we saw god's wonderful plan for us. while we were waiting the soldiers had fallen asleep in the carts, and were not aware that the carters were taking a side road until we had gotten miles from the city and beyond the reach of our would-be murderers! the soldiers were infuriated at this discovery; but after some threatening they left us and returned to the city. thus again we saw that god was indeed unto us a "god of deliverances." again and again that day we were surrounded by mobs. many times i held up the poor, dirty clothes which the mohammedans had given us, and the story of how these had been given quieted the people perhaps more than anything. once the cry was raised to drag our children's nurse out of the cart; but as we cried to god for her the people let us alone, and we passed on. at another time a man snatched the remains of mr. goforth's helmet away from us, and tore it to pieces. i had hoped to keep it as a trophy should we ever get out safely. we were at this time in a pitiable condition. most of the men had head or arms bandaged; dr. ---- was unable to raise his head. what we suffered in those carts with nothing but the boards under us cannot be told. nine persons were packed in our cart, which under ordinary circumstances would have held four or five. at noon we reached a large city, where the animals had to rest and feed. then again we saw an evidence of the lord's loving kindness over us. just as we were getting down from our carts the crowd became very threatening, and it looked now as if our hour had indeed come; but at this critical juncture two well-dressed young men of official class came through the crowd, greeting mr. goforth in great surprise. they had been received by him in our home at chang te ho. a few words of explanation were spoken, then they turned quickly to the crowd and told them who we were and of the work at chang te ho. the attitude of the people changed instantly, and they made way for us, giving us good rooms, and food was brought which was greatly needed. that noon, as one after another came up to express their sympathy at paul's loss, i could say nothing--i was waiting to see what god would do. when mr. goforth told the young officials about paul and mr. ----, they were greatly concerned, and promised to send men at once to search for them. these friends in need sent with us a man of the district to guide and help us, and also wrote an urgent letter to the official of the city we were to stay in that night, asking him to give us an escort and help us in every way he could. about four o'clock that afternoon a man came running after us with the joyful news that paul and mr. ---- were safe, and would reach us that night. as i heard this news my unbelief and faithlessness in the hour of testing came over me with overwhelming force, and i could only bow my head and weep. oh, the goodness and mercy of god! never had the love of god seemed so wonderful as in that hour. "could we with ink the ocean fill, were the whole sky of parchment made, were every blade of grass a quill, and every man a scribe by trade; to write the love of god above would drain that ocean dry, nor could the scroll contain the whole though stretched from sky to sky." that night we reached our destination about nine o'clock, having traveled seventeen hours over those roads, with but a short break at noon. it was marvelous how mr. goforth was sustained, for he was obliged to start at once for the official's residence with the note i have already referred to. on the way through the street the mob about succeeded, several times, in getting him down under their feet; but god was with him, and he reached the yamen in safety, being courteously received by the official, who promised us protection, and sent him back to the inn under escort. when paul and mr. ---- arrived that night, they tried in vain to wake me, but nature had to have her way. i knew nothing till i wakened with a start at about two a.m. jumping up, i started to look for paul, and never can i forget the scene! the whole party was lying on the bare earthen floor, practically without bedding or mattresses. a word concerning the experiences of mr. ----and paul. the two had got down from their cart and were walking behind. in some way they missed the road in the dark, and became separated from us. during that day they were repeatedly in the gravest danger. on one occasion, when surrounded by a violent mob, and one man had raised a club above paul's head to strike him down, mr. ----felt impelled by some unseen power to shout out, "we are not roman catholics, but protestants." at this the man lowered his club, exclaiming, "why, these are not the bad foreign devils, but the good foreign devils, like those missionaries at chow chia k'eo" (china inland mission). at this same place the hearts of the people seemed turned toward them in a wonderful way. one man gave paul one hundred _cash_ (five cents) to buy some food; another man carried the lad on his back for miles to give his feet a rest, they were so sore. this same man, when he could carry paul no longer, ran ahead to try and find us. when they reached the inn where we had been so helped by the two chinese gentlemen, they found that these friends had food prepared and a barrow waiting, also a guide ready to lead them to us! less than an hour from the time i awakened we were on the road again. the official was true to his promise, and a large mounted escort accompanied us. that day we were on the road twenty hours, reaching fan cheng at midnight. here we found the engineers' party waiting for us with boats hired, but we were obliged to remain twenty-four hours in the most loathsome inn we ever had the misfortune to be in in china. it was an unspeakable relief to get into the houseboats, even though we only had bare boards to lie on, and the boat people's food to eat. we were ten days going down stream to hankow. one after the other became ill. when still a day from hankow, a steam tug met us with provisions. our children cried at the sight of bread and milk! we were not allowed to stop long enough at hankow, as we had hoped, to get clothes and other necessaries, but were obliged to hasten on by the first steamer, which left the following morning. i was obliged to borrow garments for myself and the children from our fellow-passengers. at shanghai the streets were being paraded, and every preparation was being made for an attack. we learned with deep sorrow of the death of many dear friends at the hands of the boxers. ordered home by the first steamer, without anything left to us but the old clothes we had on at the time of the attack, how could we get ready in such a short time for the long home voyage? there was no lack of money, for our board had cabled all we needed. the question that faced us was how could i get clothes made for six of us in such a short time, with chinese tailors too busy to help, no machine to be had, and no ready-made clothes to be bought except for mr. goforth and paul. again i found that man's extremity was but god's opportunity. he was true to his promise, "god shall supply all your need." even as i knelt in an agony of prayer, beseeching god's help, and asking definitely that some one should be sent to me to help with the sewing, two ladies were at the door asking for me! these were perfect strangers, but had seen our names among the recent refugees, and god had moved them to come and offer their assistance! they worked for me night and day until we had to get on board the steamer. never shall i forget their christian fellowship and practical help at that time. but in the rush to get the older children ready, baby wallace's clothes were neglected. there was nothing for it but to take materials and make things for him on the voyage. in this connection came a most wonderful and precious evidence of god's power to answer prayer. for the first few days of the journey i worked early and late trying to make something for the little one, who had scarcely anything to wear; but as we were nearing yokohama i realized i had almost reached the end of my strength. my needle refused to work; try as i would i could not even see where to put the needle. folding up my work i went down to the stateroom, and kneeling down i spread the work before the lord. too far gone to agonize in prayer, i could only quietly, almost mutely, just tell him how the poor child had no clothes. rising with a great sense of the burden having been lifted, i put the work away, locking it in a trunk, then went up on deck and lay down almost insensible from exhaustion. how long a time passed i do not know, but it could not have been more than half an hour when some one came and touched me, saying, "we have dropped anchor in yokohama bay, and a large bundle has been thrown up on deck from the lighter for you." "for me!" i cried. "surely not; i know no one in japan." then i thought, "it is the answer come!" going down i found a letter from mrs. o. e., of the china inland mission. she said that her little son, the same age as baby wallace, had died four months before, and the lord had pressed her to send his complete outfit to me for my child! opening the parcel, i found not only everything the child could possibly need for a year or more, but much else. had some one stood beside that dear sister and told her what i most needed, she could not have done differently. yes, surely some one did direct her loving hands, and some one just used her as one of his channels; for she lived near to him, and was an open channel. three days later my own collapse came; but praise his great name, he was with me in the darkness and brought me through. vi proving god's faithfulness ( - ) "the safest place . . . is the path of duty." one of the results of our gracious and merciful deliverance from the hands of the boxers was an increased desire to make our lives tell in the service of god--to spend and be spent for him. our heavenly father saw this and just took us at our word, and led us out into the path which meant absolute surrender as i had never known it before. it is so true that "god will be no man's debtor." when he asks for and receives our all, he gives in return that which is above price--his own presence. the price is not great when compared with what he gives in return; it is our blindness and our unwillingness to yield that make it seem great. * * * * * the following story has been asked for many times. believing that it has a lesson for others, i give it, though to do so means lifting the veil from a very sacred part of my life. after the boxer experience, my husband returned to china in ; and, with my children, i left for china in the summer of , leaving the two eldest children at the chefoo schools, _en route_ to honan. mr. goforth met me at tientsin, and together we traveled by river-boat inland a journey of about twenty-four days. during those long, quiet days on the river-boat my husband unfolded to me a carefully thought out plan for future mission work. he reminded me that six missionaries, from a mission-station which had been destroyed by the boxers, were now permanently stationed at changte; and that the main station, now fully equipped, no longer needed us as before. he felt that the time had come when we should give ourselves to the evangelization of the great regions north and northeast of changte--regions which up to that time had been scarcely touched by the gospel, because of lack of workers. his plan was that we--husband and wife, with our children--should go and live and work among the people. to make this possible a native compound would be rented in the center, where we would stay a month for our first visit, leaving behind an evangelist to carry on the work; and we would revisit this and other places so opened as many times as possible in the year. what this proposition meant to me can scarcely be understood by those unfamiliar with china and chinese life. smallpox, diphtheria, scarlet fever, and other contagious diseases are chronic epidemics; and china, outside the parts ruled by foreigners, is absolutely devoid of sanitation. four of our children had died. to take the three little ones, then with me, into such conditions and danger seemed literally like stepping with them over a precipice in the dark and expecting to be kept. but, on the other hand, i had the language and experience for just such work, the need was truly appalling, and there was no other woman to do it. in my innermost soul i knew the call had come from god, but i would not pay the price. my one plea in refusing to enter that life was the risk to the children. again and again my husband urged that "the safest place" for myself and the children "was the path of duty"; that i could not keep them in our comfortable home at changte, but "god could keep them anywhere." still i refused. just before reaching our station he begged me to reconsider my decision. when i gave a final refusal, his only answer was: "i fear for the children." the very day after reaching home our dear wallace was taken ill. for weeks we fought for his life; at last the crisis passed and he began to recover. then my husband started off alone on his first trip! he had been gone only a day or two when our precious baby constance, a year old, was taken down with the same disease that wallace had. from the first there seemed little or no hope. the doctors, a nurse, and all the little mission circle joined in the fight for her life. her father was sent for, but arrived just as she was losing consciousness. a few hours later, when we were kneeling round her bedside waiting for the end, my eyes seemed suddenly opened to what i had been doing--_i had dared to fight against almighty god_. in the moments that followed god revealed himself to me in such love and majesty and glory that i gave myself up to him with unspeakable joy. then i knew that i had been making an awful mistake, and that i could indeed safely trust my children to him wherever he might lead. one thing only seemed plain, that i must follow where god should lead. i saw at last that god must come first. before the precious body was laid away preparations for our first trip were begun. was god faithful to the vision he had given me? or did he allow the children to suffer in the years that followed, when months each year were spent with them right out among the people? as i write this, eighteen years have passed since we started on that first trip, and none of our children have died. never had we as little sickness as during that life. never had we so much evidence of god's favor and blessing in a hundred ways--as may be gathered from the definite testimonies which follow. without one exception, every place in which we stayed for a month, and opened as my husband had planned, became in time a growing church. and i found, to my surprise, that i was able to give more time to the children, that i was able to guard them better when on those trips than when in the changte station. for the mission compound was large, and often the children were out of my sight for hours at a time; whereas the outside native compounds we lived in were so small the children were always within sight and reach. even when groups of women were listening to the gospel, i was able to direct the children's lessons. as i look back on that time, my heart is filled with overflowing gratitude to god for the wonderful grace and strength he gave for that life. my great regret is that i did not keep a record of answers to prayer. i find it most difficult to record just what "asking and getting things from god" meant at that time, but it now seems to me to have been the very foundation of the whole life. the instances of answers to prayer, here recorded, are simply the ones connected with that life which stand out most clearly in my memory of those years. * * * * * the first answer came the morning after our dear constance died, and was the one that had the greatest, most far-reaching effect on the new life and its work. as i thought of facing the crowds of heathen women day by day, and what it would mean to carry on aggressive evangelism outside, there was one need i felt must be met--that of a bible-woman. as i prayed for direction, a mrs. wang hsieh-sheng came to mind as the one i should ask. but when i laid my request before her, that she come with me, she burst into tears, saying: "i dare not. i have only one child left, and it would risk her life too much." seeing how she felt, i did not urge her, but told her to go and pray about it for a day, and bring me her answer after the funeral that night. when she came that evening her face was shining through tears, as she said: "o my shepherd mother, i will go. if you are willing to risk your children for the sake of my sisters, how much more should i!" eighteen years have passed since that day. i would need to write a volume to record all that mrs. wang meant to me in those years; yes, and to the work. as the years passed she became my beloved companion, sharing in all the responsibilities and hardships of that life, and also in its joys. i realized more and more that she was indeed a god-given co-worker. though circumstances have led me away from that life, she still remains and works for her sisters in the changte church. * * * * * one of the hardest words a missionary can get from his home board is the word "retrench." my husband and i were on one of our evangelistic tours north of changte. every door seemed wide open before us, and the time ripe for a specially aggressive campaign of evangelism for the heathen. but, just as we were planning for this, word reached us from our station treasurer of a message received from the home board that funds were low, and retrenchment must be carried out along all lines. to us this meant dismissing helpers, and a general curtailing of our work. we faced the question squarely. our own tithe had been long overdrawn. how then could we support the men we had, and go on with the work which was opening so gloriously before us after years of hard pioneer preparation? but we decided to go on as we had planned, and to trust god for the necessary funds; believing that, though for the time being the home church had disappointed us, god would not fail us. the following friday a home mail reached us, in which was a letter from a lady in new zealand. the writer said she had read a letter of ours in the life of faith, and wished to support an evangelist under us. this relieved us of the support of one man, but there were many other needs as yet unmet. the following monday, when our next mail was forwarded to us, a letter came from a lady in australia, enclosing a draft ample to meet every special need in the work for a year to come. she stated very plainly that she did not wish the money put into the general funds of the mission, but to be used by ourselves in any way we thought best. indeed, had she known the special circumstances in which the letter would find us, she could scarcely have written more exactly to fit our case. again, a year after this experience of god's faithfulness to meet all our needs, we began to feel the need of special funds for the work. my husband, as usual, seemed quite sure that we should keep on as we had been doing, and that the money needed would be sent. in spite of all the blessed lessons of the past, my faith seemed to fail me; and i spoke decidedly against using our salary, when we needed it all for ourselves and our children's education. we were traveling homeward by cart at the time and the matter was dropped; though i felt my husband was hurt by my lack of faith. when we reached home, that evening, a letter from a lady in canada was awaiting my husband. he read it first; and i cannot forget the look on his face as he handed it to me, with the words "i told you so." as near as i can recall it the letter said: "my mother and i are strangers to you, never having seen or heard either you or your wife. but my mother, who is an invalid, has for some time been restless because of a conviction that has come over her that she should send you some money. so to quiet my mother i am sending you fifty dollars." as i read the letter, i certainly did feel ashamed of my lack of faith. in writing our acknowledgment, i told how wonderfully opportune the gift had been. a couple of months or so later came a reply, telling us that the invalid mother passed away soon after my letter reached them; and that the story of how god had used her in this matter greatly strengthened her faith, blessing and helping her during the closing days of her life. * * * * * on one occasion, when we were traveling from wuanhsien to pengcheng, we reached the town of hotsun late in the afternoon, expecting to stay over night. but on our arrival we found that the christian whom we had sent to arrange for our accommodation had failed to get us a place, every one absolutely refusing to take us in. while the animals were feeding, and we were trying to eat our dinner of chinese dough-strings in the midst of a curious crowd, my husband told the christian to go out again and look for a place while we prayed. we dared not close our eyes, lest the superstitious heathen crowd crushing against us on all sides would take fright, thinking we were mesmerizing them. so we just lifted up our hearts silently to our father; and before many minutes had passed, indeed before we had finished our meal, the christian returned greatly rejoiced, saying: "a wealthy man has offered you a fine empty place which has just been fixed over. and you can have it as long as you like, free of rent." for three days we preached in that place--morning, noon, and night--to great crowds; and a work was begun which has gone on ever since. * * * * * there were times when my faith was severely tested, and i fear too often i did not stand the test; but oh, how patient god is with us in our human weakness. "like as a father pitieth, . . . so the lord pitieth." the chinese have often said to me, "your children seem made for this life." but i know it was god's great goodness. he knew how hard the life was, and how difficult it would have been for me to continue that work had the children been peevish or hard to manage. time and time again we had to get the little ones up before daybreak to start on a cart journey, but i do not remember that they ever even cried. they would just wake up enough to get dressed and ask sleepily, "are we going again, mama?" and then go off to sleep as soon as we were settled in our carts. * * * * * on one occasion, arriving at a certain town, we found the place in which we were to stay unfit for the children. it was simply horrible. on either side of us, almost reaching to our door, were two great pigstys--chinese pigstys! in front of the door were eight or ten great vessels, filled with fermenting stuff which had been there all summer, and which added to the other varied and oppressive odors. i greatly feared for the children, and wanted to leave at once, but my husband seemed calmly certain of the lord's power to keep them from all harm. on the second evening the youngest child became very feverish. mr. goforth was holding a meeting with the men. i was almost overwhelmed with fear lest the child had diphtheria. kneeling down beside him, i cried to the lord as only a mother under like circumstances could pray. at last, tired out, i fell asleep on my knees. awakened by the entrance of my husband, i felt the child's head again and it seemed cooler, and the child quieter. the following day he was quite well. is it much wonder i can say i know god answers prayer? * * * * * returning from our summer holiday the first of september, , we hoped to find a place rented at a certain large center where we had planned to begin work; but to our disappointment learned that the evangelists had secured premises in a small market village, where there was just one christian. there was nothing to do but to go there, though it seemed almost useless, for it was the busiest season for those farming people. on our way to this place we prayed much that the lord would prepare the people, and open their hearts to the gospel. we had not been there many days when we became convinced that we had been led there, and that the lord was opening the hearts of the people in a most unusual way. crowds of men and women heard the preaching every day. our evening gospel meetings, with organ and hymn scroll, were crowded out on to the street. everywhere we met with the utmost friendliness, and before our month's visit was ended we had the joy of seeing some of the leading people in the village and district come out boldly for christ. one was the chief doctor; another was the head man in the market. in the store, through which we women had to pass to get to the evening meeting, there were three men and a young lad of fifteen; all of these were brought to christ. the men were opium users, gamblers, men of evil lives. two of them are now preachers of the gospel, and one is the leading man in the little growing church there. had i time and space i could go on multiplying cases where the same results have followed when the cross of christ has been the pivot of all christian teaching, and prayer has been the source of power. * * * * * on one of the early visits to the city of linchang, a woman came with a little child whose foot was terribly burned. the whole foot was badly swollen, the inflammation reaching some distance up the leg. the child was feverish, and seemed in a serious condition. it happened that on that trip i had forgotten to bring the simple remedies which i was accustomed to take out with me, so the woman was told nothing could be done. but she begged so piteously that i could not turn away; and lifting up my heart in prayer i asked the lord to guide me, if there was anything i could do. even while i prayed the thought of a bread poultice came to mind. this remedy seemed almost absurd. i had never heard of such a thing being used before under like circumstances, but i resolved to try it. twice a day the foot was cleansed and put in the poultice, and it was really wonderful to see how it healed. we were there ten days, and when we left the foot was almost completely well. the mother, father, the child herself, and indeed the whole family, became christians. on a later visit i examined the foot, and found not even the sign of a scar remaining. i told this incident not long ago to a medical doctor, and he said: "why, there is no miracle in _that_! it was just up-to-date hygiene--giving nature a chance by cleanliness!" i replied: "doctor, to me the miracle lay, not in the poultice, but in god's telling me what to use; and now it is to me all the more a miracle of prayer, since you say it was up-to-date hygienic treatment." * * * * * at the same place, some years later, we were conducting special tent meetings for christians in the day time, and for the heathen at night. just after our meetings began the weather turned bitterly cold, with wind and sleety rain. the tent was like a drafty ice-house. my husband caught a severe cold, which became worse each day. he had fever and severe pains in head and chest, but would not give up his meetings. one noon he came from the meeting looking very ill, and lay down to rest till the afternoon meeting. i determined to take the christians into my confidence, and tell them of my anxiety for mr. goforth. so, some time before the afternoon meeting i slipped out and called them into the tent, telling them of my husband's condition and asking them to pray for him. oh, what a wave of earnest, heart-overflow of prayer went up without a moment's pause! the tears came to my eyes as i thought, "surely god will answer such prayers!" then, fearing my husband might arrive, i gave out a hymn. a few moments later he walked into the tent in his old brisk way, looking quite well. at the close of the meeting he told me that shortly after he heard me go out the pain in his head and chest ceased, the fever seemed to leave him, and when he started for the tent he felt quite well. the symptoms did not return. * * * * * when on a visit to a certain out-station, after being there two whole days, scarcely any women had come to see us. we were so circumstanced that i could not leave the children. the third day i became so burdened in prayer that i could only shut myself up in an empty room and cry to the lord to send women to us, as he knew i could not leave the children. from that day we always had plenty of visitors to keep us busy, either christian women studying or heathen women listening to the gospel. at tzuchow, the first place we opened together, the people seemed much set against us. after the first period of curiosity was over, no one came to hear the gospel. as we had a nice place for the children to play in with their faithful nurse,--the one who saved ruth's life in ,--mrs. wang and i determined to go out each afternoon and try to reach the heathen women with the gospel. before going out we always prayed the lord to open a door to us for preaching. and as i now recall that time, never once did we return home without being invited into some home to preach, or at least being asked to sit on a doorstep and tell of a saviour from sin. * * * * * one of the most outstanding evidences of god's favor and blessing was seen, at this time, in the way he provided my husband with native helpers. to carry on the plan of work we had adopted required a good force of trusty evangelists. time and again we looked to the lord for men and women to help us, and the answer always came. as my husband always seemed to have plenty of men to help him, he was frequently asked for evangelists by his fellow-missionaries of both our own and other missions. i was at first opposed to his giving away his best men, but he would answer, "the lord has been good to me; should i be less generous with my brethren?" and it certainly was remarkable how, whenever he gave a really valuable evangelist, another man, even better, was raised up shortly after. the secret of his getting men may be seen best through words of his own, taken from a letter to a friend in canada about the time of which i am now writing: "we came to this little market town in september of last year. my wife had two women workers. i had mr. tung, the old evangelist, and a young high school graduate without experience, and the only christian man in the district, very ignorant but with this to recommend him, that he was converted or quickened by the holy spirit in the changte revival, and was intensely in earnest. we were here only about twenty days when dozens began to inquire, among whom were robbers, opium sots, and gamblers. the work went on all day and well on till midnight. we were all tiring out. we had not enough workers. it was like a very heavy burden that forced me to my knees. i told the lord that he was the lord of the harvest, and that he must send more harvesters. there was a time of intense looking to god, almost amounting to agony, and then the burden lifted, and i knew that god had answered. i told my wife that i was sure that god was going to send me workers. "now what is the result? since then he has sent me two chinese b.a.'s, both excellent speakers. he moved an excellent elder to give up his business, and he has been appointed an evangelist. at this center a scholar, who was an opium user and gambler, got converted last year. his progress has been most remarkable, and it looks as if he is going to make one of the front-rank preachers. also two brothers here, who were among the first converts last year, help to preach, their father--also a convert of last year--providing their food." * * * * * another gracious evidence of god's over-ruling providence was seen in the way we, especially the children, were kept from contracting contagious diseases. the chinese carry their children about everywhere in their arms, even when sick with all sorts of contagious diseases. i give the following instance to show how impossible it was to know when one would run into danger. going to a certain village for a day's preaching, i took with me little mary, then three years of age. we were waited on by a christian woman who was most kind and attentive, bringing water and food for both mary and myself. being much taken up with preaching to the women, it did not occur to me to ask why she kept her baby's face covered, for the child was always in her arms. just as we were leaving i asked her; then she uncovered the baby's face, and to my horror i found that the child was suffering from smallpox! for weeks i watched mary's temperature, but nothing developed. through repeated instances of this kind i came to see that mr. goforth was right when he said, "the safest place for yourself and the children is in the path of duty." as i recall those years of touring life with our children, words fail me to tell of all the lord's goodness to them and to me. though there were many hard, hard places, these were but opportunities for special grace and help. many times, when discouraged almost to the point of never going out again with the children, there would come evidence that the lord was using our family life, lived among the people, to win them to christ. then i would take new courage, and go again. oh, it is so true that "we may trust him fully all for us to do; those who trust him wholly find him wholly true." vii the story of one furlough ( - ) "call upon me in the day of trouble: i will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me" (psa. : ). in the summer of i was obliged to return to canada with five of our children, leaving mr. goforth in china for the revival work. reaching toronto, i learned that my eldest son was at death's door from repeated attacks of rheumatic fever. he was then almost a day's journey away. on my way there, as i recalled the times in which he had been given back to us from the very gates of death, my faith was strengthened to believe for his recovery again. but, as i prayed, it became very clear that the answer to my petition depended on myself; in other words, that i must yield myself and my will to god. i had been planning to take no meetings during that furlough, but to devote myself wholly to my children. i confessed the sin of planning my own life, and definitely covenanted with the lord that if he would raise my son for his service i would take meetings, or do anything, as he opened the way for the care of the children. there were six difficult doors, however, that would have to be opened--not one, but all--before i could possibly go out and speak for christ and china, as god seemed to be asking. first, the lord would need to restore my son to complete health, as i could never feel justified in leaving a sick child. second, he would need to restore my own health, for i had been ordered to the hospital for an operation. third, he would need to keep all the other children well. fourth, a servant must be sent to take care of the house--though my income was so small that a servant seemed out of the question, and only the strictest economy was making both ends meet. fifth, a christian lady would need to be willing to take care of the children, and act as my housekeeper in my absence from home. sixth, sufficient money would need to be sent to meet the extra expenses incurred by my leaving home. yet, as i laid these difficulties before the lord, i received the definite assurance that he would open the way. my son was brought back to toronto on a stretcher, the doctor not allowing him to raise his head; but on arrival he would not obey orders, declaring that he was so well he could not and would not remain still. fearing the consequences of his disobeying orders, i telephoned for the doctor to come at once. on his arrival he gave the lad a thorough examination, and then said: "well, i cannot make him out; all i can say is, let him do as he pleases." within a month the boy was going back to his high school, apparently quite well. some months later he applied for a position as forester under the government. he had to pass through the hands of the official doctor. my son told him of his recent illness, and of what the doctor had said concerning his heart; but this physician replied: "in spite of all you have told me i can discover nothing whatever the matter with you, and will therefore give you a clear bill of health." as for myself, i did not go to the hospital; for all the symptoms that had seemed to require it left me, and i became perfectly well. a servant was sent to me who did her work sympathetically, as helping me to do the lord's work. a married niece, living near, offered to stay in the home whenever i needed to be absent. and so there remained but one condition unfulfilled--the money. but i believed this would come as i went forward; and it did. each month that followed, as i made up my accounts, i found that my receipts exceeded my expenditures sufficiently to enable me to spend money for work in china, and to purchase things which i needed for china, including an organ. all these accounts were laid before our beloved mission board secretary, who approved them. under these circumstances i dared not refuse invitations to speak. yet, so weak was my faith, for months i never left home for a few days without dreading lest something should happen to the children during my absence. i even accepted meetings with the proviso that if the children needed me i must fail to keep my appointment. but as the days and weeks and months passed, and all went well, i learned to trust. "'be still; be strong to-day.' but, lord, to-morrow? what of to-morrow, lord? shall there be rest from toil, be truce from sorrow? 'did i not die for thee? do i not live for thee? leave me to-morrow.'" in giving the following i wish to make clear that, had i been living a life of ease or self-indulgence, i could not have been justified in expecting god to undertake for me in such matters as are here recorded. it must be remembered that i had stepped out into a life which meant _trusting for everything_. before leaving china for canada my husband had said to me: "do not stint the children with apples; give them all they want." but when i began housekeeping i found this was not very easy to do. apples were expensive, and the appetites of my six children for them seemed insatiable. however, i began by buying a few small baskets; and then i did not need to buy more, for apples came in a most wonderful way. first in baskets; then, as the season advanced, in barrels. these came from many different sources; and in some cases long distances, express paid to the door. on one occasion a barrel of large, hard "greenings" came just as we had finished the last barrel. the children complained that they were too hard to eat, and begged me to buy them some "snows"--very expensive, but delicious apples for eating. i had only purchased one small basket of "snows" when a large supply, almost a barrelful, came from a distant friend. i feel that the lord saw that i had given up all for him, so just showed how he could provide, thus evidencing his love and care for my dear children. we had set up housekeeping at the end of the fruit season, and so i had not been able to do canning for winter use. that winter, again and again, gifts of canned fruit came, sometimes from unknown sources. altogether, seventy jars of the finest fruit were sent to us. i will give the details of just one of these gifts. shortly before leaving home for ten days, the servant informed me that the canned fruit was finished. accordingly, i went down and ordered enough dried fruit to last till i should return. on reaching home i was greeted at the door by a rush from the children, all trying at once to tell me that a lovely valentine had just arrived. leading me back to the kitchen, they showed me the table covered with twenty jars of the most delicious looking fruit, and a large can of maple syrup. on a card accompanying the gift was written: "a valentine for our dear 'substitute in china,' from her sisters in renfrew." * * * * * early in the winter it became evident that a telephone was a necessity, with my numerous calls and engagements. i hesitated about going into this expense, not being quite sure that it was right to use in that way the money given me. at last, i prayed that the lord would show me his will in the matter by sending me half the amount needed for the telephone within a certain time, if it was right for me to get it. before the time expired the money had come; so i got the telephone. * * * * * as the weather became cold i began to suffer on the long drives in the country to appointments, and was soon longing for a fur coat. i consulted our mission secretary as to whether, if sufficient money were given me, i could put it into a fur coat. the answer was a decided "yes." there was no doubt that the coat was a necessity in the lord's work. so i began to pray the lord to send the money quickly, for the cold was severe. in less than two weeks i received the money needed, and of course got the coat. * * * * * the ladies of the winnipeg presbyterial had arranged a series of meetings for me in winnipeg, brandon, and other places in that vicinity, about ten in all. the collections from the meetings were to defray my traveling expenses, which would amount to over one hundred dollars. on my way by train from toronto to winnipeg i caught a severe cold, which settled in my throat and chest. i did not want the women to be disappointed, and also put to all the expense, if i failed them. just before reaching winnipeg i was enabled to commit myself definitely into the lord's hands, for strength and voice for the meetings. the days that followed can never be forgotten, for the bodily weakness, fever, and throat trouble were removed only while i was giving my addresses. in each case, though so hoarse before and after speaking as to be scarcely able to make myself heard above a whisper, my voice cleared for the address. for example: while at dr. and mrs. c. w. gordon's home the sunday i was to speak in winnipeg, i was advertised to speak that night in dr. gordon's church. at the supper table i asked dr. gordon if he would be ready to speak should i fail. just before my time came to speak i slipped up on to the platform behind dr. gordon, who was praying; and oh, how i cried to the lord for help and courage! for the church was packed, and even the sunday-school room partitions were opened to accommodate the crowd. my throat was as if in a vise, and i felt weak and ill. but, as dr. gordon introduced me, i stepped forward possessed by a feeling of wonderful calm and absolute confidence. it seemed i could just _feel_ one like unto the son of man beside me, and never had i felt so completely and only a channel. for more than an hour i spoke so that every one heard distinctly; but when i sat down my throat tightened as before. dr. gordon told me later that he had a man sit in the most difficult place in which to hear, and that he had heard every word. so it was till the end of my appointments. on the homeward journey i asked the lord either to heal my throat, or to provide a way for me to get a needed rest from speaking, for i had many appointments awaiting me in ontario. a few days after reaching home four of my children were taken down with measles. during the weeks i was in quarantine with them my throat received the rest it needed, and became quite restored. * * * * * one day the following early summer, in looking over the children's clothes, i found there was so much to be done i was fairly overwhelmed. i saw it was quite impossible to do the necessary sewing and keep my appointments too. the question that weighed heavily was, "should i cancel the meetings for which i had given my word?" my husband urged me to buy ready-made clothes, but i knew how expensive they would be, and could not bring myself to do so. i went alone and laid my burden before the lord, praying that, if he wanted me to speak further for china, he would show his will by sending me some gift that would enable me to get ready-made clothes for the children. a few days later i was speaking at a presbyterial gathering in western ontario. at the close of the evening meeting an old gentleman put into my hands some money. i asked him what he wished me to use it for, and he replied, "for your children. use it in a way that will help you to be free for god's work." my heart rose in thanksgiving, and i decided to accept it as the token i had asked of the lord. on my return to toronto i spent this gift in buying ready-made clothes for the children, to save my time and strength for the lord's work. * * * * * when busy in my home one day, the thought of two dear friends of the china inland mission kept coming constantly to mind, and i began to wonder if i should not send them some money. looking into my purse, i found i had only fifty cents on hand. i put the matter out of my mind, with the thought that if the lord wanted me to send them anything he would provide a way. that afternoon's mail brought a letter from a distant place in ontario where, a year before, i had visited and spoken for a friend. the letter was from the treasurer of the christian endeavor society for which i had spoken. he enclosed five dollars, and said the money was to have been given me at the time i spoke for them, but had been overlooked. my first thought was to return it, as it would be dishonoring my friend to accept money for such a service; and then i remembered my friends for whom i wanted money, and i decided to send the five dollars to them. my husband, returning the following morning, handed me another five to put with it, and the ten dollars was sent off. in due course a reply came from my friends, saying that the very morning my letter arrived they both had been given assurance that a certain sum would come, for which they had been praying. this was to meet a need which they did not wish to bring before their board. my letter brought the ten dollars; and another letter in the afternoon's mail contained a sum which, with mine, exactly made the amount they had been asking the lord for. "say not my soul, 'can god relieve my care?' remember that omnipotence hath servants everywhere!" on one occasion, when about to leave home on a ten days' trip to montreal and other places, word came that the children's sunday-school treat was to take place during my absence. little mary had no "best" dress for the occasion. i had planned to make her a white woolen dress, but now there was no time; and i knew i could not make it while away, with so many meetings ahead. but, that very day, a lady from our church called and said she had wanted for a long time to help me, and asked if she could do any sewing for me. with dim eyes and a grateful heart i accepted her offer. on my return, mary told me of her wearing a pretty white cloth dress for the sunday-school treat. * * * * * once more we planned to leave canada for china, and a serious problem faced me. our eldest son could be left to face the world alone, but not our daughter of sixteen. it was necessary that a suitable guardian be found for her. i called on three different ones whom i thought would feel some responsibility toward the missionary's daughter, but all three declined to accept the responsibility. i then saw that it was not for me to try to open doors, but for this also i must look to the lord. i prayed that, if he wished me to return to china, he would send me one to whom i could commit her. a short time passed; then a lady called, whose life had been devoted to the training of young women. her beautiful christian character made her the one above all others in whose care i could gladly leave my daughter. this lady told me that in her early years she had hoped to give her life for service in china, but the way had been closed. she now felt that the lord had laid it upon her heart to offer to take charge of my child. years have passed since then, and she has fulfilled my highest expectations of her. rarely has a more definite answer come from a loving father, nor one that brought greater relief and help; for this offer, coming as it did in answer to my prayers, seemed to be unmistakable proof that the lord would keep my child as i gave her up. * * * * * the time had almost arrived for beginning the last preparations for the long journey to china, when one day ruth came in from her play with her heavy coat almost in shreds, she having in some way torn it on a barbed wire fence. the coat was the only heavy one she had, and i had planned to make it do for the ocean voyage, intending to get a new one in england. i tried to find a new one in the stores, but the season was past and i could not; and i had no time to make another. i just took the need to the lord and left it there, believing that in some way he would provide. a few days later a friend telephoned me that her mother had recently returned from a visit to chicago, and wished me to come over to see a parcel she had brought for me. oh, the relief that came when i found that the parcel contained, among other things, a handsome red cloth ulster, which fitted ruth perfectly. this fresh evidence of the lord's overshadowing care touched me deeply. those who have never known such tokens of the lord's loving care in the little things of life can scarcely understand the blessedness that such experiences bring. "whether it be so heavy that others cannot bear to know the heavy burden they cannot come and share; whether it be so tiny that others cannot see why it should be a burden, and seem so real to me, either and both i lay them down at the master's feet and find them alone with jesus mysteriously sweet." * * * * * as i attempt to recall the answers to prayer on this furlough, so many come to mind it is impossible to record them all--help in keeping my appointments, courage and power for public speaking, physical strength, and guidance in facing many difficult problems. it was at this time i formed a habit of getting a message for a meeting on my knees. it often seemed to me very wonderful how, as in a flash, sometimes, an outline for a talk on china would come. never having kept notes, nor even outlines of addresses, i have frequently been placed in circumstances when i have felt utterly cast on the lord. and i can testify that he never failed to give the needed help, and the realized divine power. yet sad, sad is it that often at just such times, no sooner would the address be ended than the satan-whispered thought would come, "i have done well to-day." oh, is not the goodness and forbearance of our god wonderful; wonderful that he ever again would deign to give help when asked for it? * * * * * a short time since i asked a dear friend whose writings have reached and inspired multitudes throughout the christian world: "how did you do it?" softly, with deep reverence in look and tone, she replied: "it has been done all in and through prayer!" with deepest gratitude and praise to our ever faithful god, i too can testify that any little service i have been able to do has been done by his grace in answer to prayer. "i stood amazed and whispered, 'can it be that he hath granted all the boon i sought, how wonderful that he for me hath wrought!' * * * * * * oh, faithless heart! _he said_ that he would hear, and proved his promise, wherefore didst thou fear? how wonderful if he should fail to bless expectant prayer with good success!" viii our god of the impossible "behold i am the lord, . . . is there _anything_ too hard for me?" (jer. : .) "ah, lord god! there is _nothing_ too wonderful for thee" (jer. : , margin). the following illustration of the truth, "what is impossible with man is possible with god," occurred while we were attending the keswick convention in england, in . one evening my husband returned from an evening meeting, which i had not attended, and told me of a woman who had come to him in great distress. she had been an earnest christian worker, but love for light, trashy fiction had so grown upon her as to work havoc in her christian life. she had come to keswick three years in succession, hoping to get victory, but had failed. my whole soul went out to the poor woman; i longed to help her. but mr. goforth did not know her name, and the tent had been so dark he could not recognize her again; besides, there were about four thousand people attending the convention. that night i lay awake asking the lord, if he knew i could help her, to bring us together, for i, too, had at one time been almost wrecked on the same rock. three evenings later the tent was so crowded that i found difficulty in getting a seat. just as the meeting was about to begin, i noticed a woman change her seat twice, and then rise a third time and come to where i was, asking me to make room for her. i crowded the others in the seat and made room for her--i fear not too graciously. while mr. f. b. meyer was speaking i noticed she was in great distress, her tears falling fast. i laid my hand on hers, and she grasped it convulsively. at the close of the meeting i said, "can i help you?" "oh, no," she replied, "there is no hope for me; it is those cursed novels that have been my ruin." i looked at her in amazement, and almost gasped: "are you the one who spoke to mr. goforth saturday night?" "yes; but who are you?" scarcely able to speak for emotion, i told her, and also of my prayer. for the next few moments we could only weep together. then the lord used me to lead the poor crushed and broken soul back to himself. as we parted, a few days later, her face was beaming with the joy of the lord. while addressing a gathering of christians in glasgow i was giving a certain incident, the point of which depended upon a verse of a certain hymn. when i came to quote the verse, it had utterly slipped my memory. in some confusion i turned to the leader, hoping that he could help me out; but he said he had no idea what the hymn was. turning again to the people, i had to acknowledge that my memory had failed me, and, feeling embarrassed, i closed my message somewhat hurriedly. sitting down, i lifted my heart in a cry to the lord to lead me to the verse i wanted, if it was in the hymn-book used there. i took up a hymn-book and opened it, and the very first lines my eyes fell on were those of the verse i wanted, though it was the last verse of a long hymn. rising again, i told the people of my prayer and the answer, and gave them the verse. the solemn stillness which prevailed indicated that a deep impression had been made. some two years after, a newly arrived missionary in china told me he had been present at that meeting, and how this little incident had been a great blessing to him. "they cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded" (psa. : ). before leaving canada we had written to the china inland school at chefoo, china, hoping to get our children admitted there; but, shortly before we left england for china, word reached us that both the boys' and girls' schools were overflowing, with long lists of waiting applicants. this was a great blow to me, for i had been looking forward to engaging once more in the aggressive out-station work. but the children could not be left, and were too old to be taken away from their studies. it seemed necessary, therefore, that a good christian governess should be found, who would teach the children and take charge of the home in my absence. all the way across the siberian route this matter was before us. earnestly did i pray that the lord would direct the right one to us; for i knew that to get a young woman, who could fill the position we wanted her for, would be very difficult in china. we had planned to go direct to our station, but illness forced us to break the journey at peitaiho, where we met a young lady, the daughter of a missionary. many difficulties appeared in the way of her coming on with us, but one by one these were removed; and when we continued our journey this young woman was one of our party. time proved her to be truly god-given. not only was she all and more than i could have hoped for, but the lord answered my prayers that her young life might be consecrated to the lord's service in china. she later went through her training in england as a nurse, and is now in china as a missionary of the china inland mission. * * * * * the summer holidays at peitaiho were drawing to a close. heavy rains had fallen, making the roads to the station, six miles distant, almost impassable. word had come that our two children, ruth and wallace, must leave by the monday morning train in order to reach the steamer at tientsin, which was to take them to chefoo, where they were attending the china inland mission schools. all day saturday and sunday torrents of rain continued to fall, with a fierce wind from the north. i rose before daybreak monday morning, to find the rain still pouring down in torrents. i roused the servant, and sent him off to make sure about the chair, cart, and donkeys. a little later he returned to say that the chair had been blown over, and the chair-bearers had refused to come. the carters also refused, saying the roads were impassable; and even the donkey boys said they would not go. i was truly at "wit's end corner." i went alone, and did not take time even to kneel down, but just lifted up my heart to my father to stop the rain and open a way for the children to get to the station. i felt a sudden, strong confidence that the lord would help, and going out again i ordered the servant to run fast to the village near by and get fresh donkeys. he was unwilling, saying it was useless, no one would venture; but i said: "go at once, i know they will come." while he was gone the children had their breakfast, boxes were closed and taken out, and the children put on their wraps. then the rain stopped! just then the servant returned with several donkeys. within five minutes, children and baggage were on donkeys, and started for the station. a few hours later one of the donkey boys returned with a hastily written note from ruth, saying they had reached the station without any mishap, and quite dry; for it had not rained on the way over, but had started to pour again just after they had got on the train. the rain continued for days after. * * * * * at the close of our four months of meetings in great britain, in , i felt a strong desire to send a gift of five dollars to five different objects in britain, to show in a practical way our sympathy with the workers in these various branches of the lord's work. my husband was in the midst of his accounts when i asked him to give me five pounds for this purpose. he told me it was impossible, as we had barely enough for the journey to china. as i left him i wondered why i seemed to have these gifts so definitely laid upon me to send away, when there was no money. reasoning that if the thing were really of the lord he could himself give me what he wished me to send, i put the matter from my mind. that evening's mail brought a letter from a stranger living some distance away, judging from the postmark; for the letter had no address, and was not signed. the letter said: "i do not know you, nor have i met you, but the lord seems to have laid it on my heart to send you this five-pound note as a farewell gift, to do what you think best with." it was with a joyful heart i sent off the gifts to the five christian workers in britain. had the giver said it was "for work in china," as was usually the case, i could not have used it for any other purpose. how to get the sewing done for my family and yet meet the pressing calls made upon me as the wife of a pioneer missionary, for almost thirty years has been perhaps the most difficult and constant problem of my missionary life. in connection with the solving of this problem, i have seen some of the most precious evidences of god's willingness to undertake in the daily details of life. the following story must be given in detail to be really understood, as one of the striking instances of how god, in his own wonderful way, can work out the seemingly impossible. returning home to our station from an unusually strenuous autumn's touring, i planned as usual to give the month of december to the children's sewing, so as to leave january largely free for a bible-women's training class. but my health broke down, and i could make scarcely any headway with the thirty-five or forty garments which had to be made or fixed over, before the children returned to their school in chefoo. by the eighteenth of december we decided to cancel the class on account of my ill-health; and to all the women, except one whom i entirely forgot, i sent word not to come. as the days passed, the burden of the almost untouched sewing became very great. at last i cried to the lord to undertake for me. and how wonderfully he did! on december twenty-eighth, when i was conducting the chinese women's prayer-meeting, i noticed in the audience mrs. lu, the very woman to whom i had forgotten to send word. she had come a long distance, with her little child, over rough mountainous roads, so i felt very sorry for my thoughtlessness. mrs. lu accompanied me home, and i gave her money for a barrow on which to return the next day. i then sat down to the sewing machine. the woman stood beside me for a little, and then said: "you are looking very tired, mrs. goforth; let me run the machine for you." "you!" i exclaimed, astonished, "why, you don't know how." "yes, i do," she replied. she was so insistent that at last, in fear and trembling, i ventured to let her try--for i had only one needle. it took but a few moments to convince me she was a real expert at the machine. when i urged her to stay and help me, she replied that, since the class was given up, she would return home on the morrow. that night i was puzzled. why should the lord lead this woman to me--the only one, so far as we knew, who could do the machine work--and then permit her to leave? i could only lay the whole matter before the lord, and trust him to undertake. and again he answered. that night a fierce storm came on, lasting several days and making the roads quite impassable. mrs. lu, finding herself storm-tied, gladly gave all her time to me. the roads remained impassable for a whole month, during which time i did not once need to sit down at the machine. * * * * * while in tientsin with my children during the revolution in , i had occasion to go into the chinese city with my servant. we visited three stores. on our way home by the tramway i discovered i had lost a five-dollar bill and one of my gloves. i had foolishly put the bill inside the glove. ashamed to let the chinese servant know of my carelessness, i sent him home when we reached the end of the tram line. as soon as he was out of sight i took the tram back to the city. on the way i confessed to the lord my carelessness, and asked him to keep the glove and money, and lead me to where they were. i retraced my steps back to two of the stores where we had been. as i entered the second, which was a shoe store, a number of men were in the shop; but there, right in sight of all, on the floor lay my glove, and i knew of course with the five dollars inside. it was with a heart full of gratitude to my loving heavenly father, and an enlarged vision of his love, that i picked up the glove and returned home that day. * * * * * on one occasion when on furlough with several little children, and my husband in china, i had no settled home. when the time came to do the sewing for the long journey back to china, i had simply no way to get it done. i just had to look to the lord; and, as so often before, he was again faithful, and opened the way. when shopping down town, one day, i met a minister's wife from a distant country charge, who said: "i want you to come with all your children, and get your sewing done with me. a number of the ladies of our congregation sew well, and will be delighted to help you." i gratefully accepted her invitation, and while staying with her a sewing-bee was held in the church. in one week the sewing was finished, which would have taken me many weeks of hard, constant labor to accomplish alone. * * * * * the winter of our return from china, after the boxer tragedies, i felt keenly the need of a good sewing machine, as i could not possibly do the children's sewing by hand and still get time for meetings. one day, as my husband was leaving on a deputation tour, i asked him for money for a machine. he assured me it was impossible; that we had only sufficient for bare necessities. i knew well he would gladly give me money for the machine if he had it. so i laid my need before my father, confident that he knew it was a real need, and that according to his promise he could and would supply it. i was so sure that somehow the money would come, that i went down town especially to choose a suitable machine. i found it would cost thirty-six dollars. a few days later i received a letter from a band of ladies in mount forest, ontario, enclosing twenty-three dollars and some odd cents, and saying: "please accept the enclosed to buy something you have lost as our substitute in china." only a day or two later another letter came, from quite another part of ontario, enclosing twelve dollars and some cents. the two amounts came to exactly the sum i needed to purchase the machine. the second letter stated that the money was sent to help me buy a sewing machine. it has always been a puzzle to me how they came to send the money in that way, for i had not spoken to any one but my husband about wanting a machine. when mr. goforth returned i was able to show him what the lord could give me, though he could not. * * * * * i had been holding a class for women at an out-station, staying in the home of the elder, dr. fan. the day before i was to return home, mrs. fan asked me to go with her to visit a very sick boy whom the missionary doctor had sent home from the boys' school, wei hwei, because of his having tuberculosis of the lungs. mrs. fan told me the mother was in great distress, and begged me to come and pray with her. i found the lad in a truly pitiable condition. his mouth was swollen, his face a ghastly hue, and every moment a cough racked his frame. he seemed to me quite beyond hope, and looked as if he could not live long. on our way home to mrs. fan's, the message of james : , , kept coming persistently to me, as if spoken by a voice: "is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, . . . and the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the lord shall raise him up." i simply could not get away from those words. on reaching dr. fan's home, i sent for him, and asked if he and the other elders would be willing to pray with me over the lad. he consented, though at first he seemed rather dubious. there were quite a number of christians gathered around as we placed the boy in our midst. all knelt down, and i read the words from james. i told them plainly that i could not say that it was indeed the lord's will to heal the boy; all that was clear to me was that we must obey as far as we had light, and leave the rest in god's hands for life or death. several prayed, and we then dispersed. early the following morning i left for home. circumstances prevented my return to that place, and in time we moved to another field. more than two years later, while visiting wei hwei, i met mrs. fan, who told me that the lad had completely recovered and was then working with his father. still a year later i met dr. fan, and upon inquiring about the lad, the doctor told me he was perfectly well, and was in business in wei hwei city. * * * * * the power of intercession is shown in the following two incidents: in the winter of a call came for my husband to hold special meetings in manchuria. on reaching liao yang for these meetings, one of the missionaries showed him a letter from mr. moffat, of korea, which said: "i have a thousand christians here who have promised to pray for mr. goforth, and i know their prayers will prevail with god." can we doubt that their prayers had something to do with the marvelous revival movement which followed? when in england, in , my husband was the guest of a lady in london who was noted for her power in intercession. he was telling her of the great revival movements he had been through, which took place in different provinces of china; and she asked him to look at her diary, in which were notes of times when she had been led out in special intercession for mr. goforth. these dates exactly corresponded to the times of greatest revival power. * * * * * a few months after we returned to china from a furlough, i invited a certain missionary and his wife and children to pay us a visit. peculiarly touching circumstances had led me to give this invitation. both husband and wife were in ill health, and greatly needed a change. they resided in a far inland station, quite cut off from other missionaries. they were not connected with any society, and were looking only to the lord for their support. just as these friends had started toward us, on their five-days' journey, smallpox broke out at our station, and one of the missionaries died. a telegram was sent, hoping to catch them before they left, but it did not reach them until they were a short distance from our station. then the whole family had to turn around, and once more take the long, trying journey, homeward. as the weather was very cold at the time, one could imagine what a terrible trial to faith the whole experience meant to them. i felt so deeply for them that i planned to send sufficient to cover at least the expense of the journey. but, on getting out of quarantine, i found i could not draw on our treasurer for the fifty dollars needed, as mr. goforth was not at home. however, the lord had seen the need long before i felt it, and had the exact amount ready. three days after i got out of quarantine i received a letter from mr. horace goven, of the faith mission, glasgow, enclosing a draft for five pounds which, at the rate of exchange at that time, came to fifty dollars mexican. the gift came from the workers of the mission, and he stated that they wished me to accept it as a personal gift. needless to say, the draft was sent off that same day to the needy friends in the far-off station. on one occasion, while we were temporarily stationed at wei hwei, honan, i was called to nurse a fellow missionary who had contracted black smallpox. this missionary died; and it was while shut away from every one during the time of quarantine that i had the following experience: i awoke suddenly one night feeling greatly troubled for one in canada. so strong was the impression that this friend needed my prayers, that i felt compelled to rise and spend a long time wrestling with god on this one's behalf; then peace came, and i again slept. as soon as i was out of quarantine i wrote to my friend and told of this experience, giving the date. in time the answer came, which said that--though no date could be given, as no note had been made of it--as far as could be judged, it was about the same time that i had had the burden of prayer that my friend was passing through a time of such temptation as seemed almost overwhelming. but the letter said: "i was brought through victoriously; i know that it was your prayers that helped me." * * * * * the following incident may seem trifling to some; but to me no answer in my life ever brought more intense relief. for this reason i have reserved it, as the final testimony of the original prayer record. my husband had gone to hold revival meetings in a distant province, and while he was away i went with my bible-woman to a certain out-station at the urgent request of the christians, to preach at a four-days' "theatrical," which brought great crowds. the four days there were enough to wear out the strongest; for many hours daily we had to face unruly crowds coming and going; and at the end of our stay i turned my face homeward utterly worn out. my one thought was to get to wei hwei, our next station, for a few days' rest with my youngest children, who were attending school there. a sight of them, i knew, would recover my energies better than anything else. but in getting home i in some way lost the key of the money-drawer. it was friday, and the train for wei hwei left on saturday at ten o'clock. different persons came for money, but i had to put them off with some excuse. there was too much money in the drawer for me to leave with the key lying around somewhere; besides, i myself could not go without money. as soon as i had my supper i started searching everywhere. drawers, pigeonholes, shelves, were all searched in vain. after hunting for two hours, until i was too exhausted to hunt any more, i suddenly thought, "i have never prayed about it." stopping still just where i stood by the dining-table, i lifted my heart to the lord. "o lord, you know how much i need a rest; you know how much i long to see the children; pity me, and lead me to the key." then, without wasting a step, i walked through the dining-room, hall, and women's guest room into mr. goforth's study, to the book-case (which covers one side of the room), opened the door, slipped two books aside, and there was the key. so near did the lord seem at that moment that i could almost feel his bodily presence. it was not that i remembered putting the key there, but he led me there. yes, i _know_ god answers prayer. ix to his praise! "they shall abundantly utter the memory of thy great goodness." this chapter is written more than seven years later than the foregoing, in further testimony and praise. returning to canada at the time of the great war, we came face to face with a serious financial crisis. only two ways seemed open to us. one was to lay our affairs frankly before the board, showing that our salary was quite insufficient, with war conditions and prices, to meet our requirements. the other course was to just go forward, get a suitable home and whatever we required, and trust our father to supply what was needed above our income. we decided on the latter course. a dear daughter felt indignant that we should have a salary insufficient for our needs; but we assured her that to trust god for what was lacking was not begging. the day came when this child and myself took possession of our new home. as we entered the dining-room we found a large mail from china on the table. one letter was forwarded from the lady in australia whose gifts, in the past, seemed always to have met some felt need. her letter enclosed fifty pounds, with the expressed wish that thirty pounds should be used for work in china, but twenty pounds was to be used to meet some personal need. i handed the letter to my daughter, saying: "shall we not believe that god will undertake for us? it seems to me as if our father were beside us saying, 'my child, take this hundred dollars as an earnest of what i am going to do for you.'" tears stood in her eyes as my daughter gave the letter back, saying: "mother, we don't trust god half enough!" were i to attempt to write the history of the months that followed, a long chapter would be required; but my testimony along this line is surely sufficient. * * * * * it was on this same furlough that i came to have an enlarged vision of my heavenly father's willingness to undertake in what some might term the minor details of everyday life. missionaries, especially we missionary women, know only too well how we are criticized in the matter of dress, when in the homeland and when traveling. i have had, through the years, not only many amusing but trying experiences in this connection, and i resolved to make the question of dress a definite matter of prayer. and i rejoice to testify that the result of this decision became a constant source of wonder and praise. yes, i found the lord could guide me even in trimming my hat to his glory! that is, so that i could stand up before an audience and not bring discredit to my master. praise his name! "there is nothing too great for his power, and nothing too small for his love!" at the time of the great war a son had gone to england with the first canadian contingent. when this news reached us in china, i began to pray definitely that the lord would use my son's gifts in the best way for his country's good, but would keep him back from the trenches and from actual warfare. my boy did not know of this prayer. some weeks after reaching england he was looking forward to leaving for the trenches in france, when orders came that he was needed in the orderly room, and his unit left without him. months later a call came for volunteers, to fill the great gaps made at the time of the first use of gas. my boy resigned his position, and joined the company of volunteers to be sent to france. just before they were to leave he was again sent for from headquarters, and told he was to go to the canadian base in france as adjutant. his duties in this capacity kept him at the forwarding base. a year later he again planned to resign, in order to get to the trenches. he had begun making arrangements for this step, when he had a fall from his horse, which caused him to be invalided home to canada, where he was kept till the close of the war. it would indeed be difficult to persuade his mother that all this happened by chance; for one day, when in great distress, expecting any day a cable to say he had left for the trenches, i received a most clear assurance from the lord that he had the boy in his keeping. * * * * * after our return to china, when in great trouble, i prayed the lord to grant me a clear sign of his favor by giving me a certain petition, which affected a child in the homeland. the request was a complicated one, including several definite details. a little more than a month later, a letter reached me from the one for whom i had asked the lord's favor. she wrote joyously, telling that she had received just what i had asked for, and in every detail as i had prayed. * * * * * when my husband resigned the regular field work of changte, honan, it became necessary for us to find a home elsewhere. the only suitable place, meeting all our requirements, was on the hills at kikungshan, south honan. on going there to get a site for our home, though we looked for more than a week, we could find no place. as we started down the hill, one morning soon after midnight, i was feeling our failure very keenly, for we had given up our old home. when my husband saw how bad i felt, as he told me later, he began to cry earnestly to the lord to give us a site. and before we reached the station the assurance had come that we would get a place. a friend on the train, traveling third class, saw us getting on the second class, and came in for a few words before getting off the train. when he heard we had failed to get a site, he said: "i know of a beautiful site which our mission is reserving for a future missionary. i'll ask them to give it to you." a few days later the treasurer of this mission wrote us that they had unanimously and gladly voted to give us the site. i am now writing these closing words in our god-given home, built on this beautiful site, one of the most lovely spots to be found in china. so from this quiet mountain retreat, a monument of what god can give in answer to prayer, this little book of prayer testimonies is sent forth. as the past has been reviewed, and god's wonderful faithfulness recalled, there has come a great sense of regret that i have not trusted god more, and asked more of him, both for my family and the chinese. yes, it is truly wonderful! but the wonder is not that god _can_ answer prayer, _but that he does_, when we so imperfectly meet the conditions clearly laid down in his word. in recent years i have often tested myself by these conditions, when weeks, and perhaps months, have passed without some answer to prayer, and there has come a conscious spiritual sagging. as the discerning soul can plainly see, all the conditions mentioned in the list below may be included in the one word "abide." conditions of prevailing prayer . contrite humility before god and forsaking of sin.-- chron. : . . seeking god with the whole heart.--jer. : , . . faith in god.--mark : , . . obedience.-- john : . . dependence on the holy spirit.--rom. : . . importunity.--mark : - ; luke : - . . must ask in accordance with god's will.-- john : . . in christ's name.--john : , , and many other passages. . must be willing to make amends for wrongs to others.--matt. : , . causes of failure in prayer . sin in the heart and life.--psa. : ; isa. : , . . persistent refusal to obey god.--prov. : - ; zech. : , . . formalism and hypocrisy.--isa. : - . . unwillingness to forgive others.--mark : , . . wrong motives.--james : , . . despising god's law.--amos : . . lack of love and mercy.--prov. : . x victory found at the close of this little volume it seems fitting to recount again a wonderful personal experience, narrated in the sunday school times of december , . i do not remember the time when i did not have in some degree a love for the lord jesus christ as my saviour. when not quite twelve years of age, at a revival meeting, i publicly accepted and confessed christ as my lord and master. from that time there grew up in my heart a deep yearning to know christ in a more real way, for he seemed so unreal, so far away and visionary. one night when still quite young i remember going out under the trees in my parents' garden and, looking up into the starlit heavens, i longed with intense longing to feel christ near me. as i knelt down there on the grass, alone with god, job's cry became mine, "oh, that i knew where i might find him!" could i have borne it had i known then that almost forty years would pass before that yearning would be satisfied? with the longing to know christ, literally to "find" him, came a passionate desire to _serve_ him. but, oh, what a terrible nature i had! passionate, proud, self-willed, indeed just full was i of those things that i knew were unlike christ. the following years of half-hearted conflict with sinful self must be passed over till about the fifth year of our missionary work in china. i grieve to say that the new life in a foreign land with its trying climate, provoking servants, and altogether irritating conditions, seemed to have developed rather than subdued my natural disposition. one day (i can never forget it), as i sat inside the house by a paper window at dusk, two chinese christian women sat down on the other side. they began talking about me, and (wrongly, no doubt) i listened. one said, "yes, she is a hard worker, a zealous preacher, and--yes, she nearly loves us; but, oh, what a temper she has! _if she would only live more as she preaches!_" then followed a full and true delineation of my life and character. so true, indeed, was it, as to crush out all sense of annoyance and leave me humbled to the dust. i saw then how useless, how worse than useless, was it for me to come to china to preach christ and not _live_ christ. but how could i live christ? i knew some (including my dear husband) who had a peace and a power,--yes, and a something i could not define, that i had not; and often i longed to know the secret. was it possible, with such a nature as mine, ever to become patient and gentle? was it possible that i could ever really stop worrying? could i, in a word, ever hope to be able to live christ as well as preach him? i knew i loved christ; and again and again i had proved my willingness to give up all for his sake. but i knew, too, that one hot flash of temper with the chinese, or with the children before the chinese, would largely undo weeks, perhaps months, of self-sacrificing service. the years that followed led often through the furnace. the lord knew that nothing but fire could destroy the dross and subdue my stubborn will. those years may be summed up in one line: "fighting (not finding), following, keeping, _struggling_." yes, and failing! sometimes in the depths of despair over these failures; then going on determined to do _my_ best,--and what a poor best it was! in the year , and later, as i witnessed the wonderful way the lord was leading my husband, and saw the holy spirit's power in his life and message, i came to seek very definitely for the fulness of the holy spirit. it was a time of deep heart-searching. the heinousness of sin was revealed as never before. many, many things had to be set right toward man and god. i learned then what "paying the price" meant. those were times of wonderful mountain-top experiences, and i came to honor the holy spirit and seek his power for the overcoming of sin in a new way. but christ still remained, as before, distant, afar off, and i longed increasingly to know--to _find_ him. although i had much more power over besetting sins, yet there were times of great darkness and defeat. it was during one of these latter times that we were forced to return to canada, in june of . my husband's health prevented him from public speaking, and it seemed that this duty for us both was to fall on me. but i dreaded facing the home church without some spiritual uplift,--a fresh vision for myself. the lord saw this heart-hunger, and in his own glorious way he fulfilled literally the promise, "he satisfieth the longing soul, and _filleth_ the hungry soul with goodness" (psa. : , a. v.). a spiritual conference was to be held the latter part of june at niagara-on-the-lake, ontario, and to this i was led. one day i went to the meeting rather against my inclination, for it was so lovely under the trees by the beautiful lake. the speaker was a stranger to me, but from almost the first his message gripped me. victory over sin! why, this was what i had fought for, had hungered for, all my life! was it possible? the speaker went on to describe very simply an ordinary christian life experience--sometimes on the mountain-top, with visions of god; then again would come the sagging, and dimming of vision, coldness, discouragement, and perhaps definite disobedience and a time of down-grade experience. then perhaps a sorrow, or even some special mercy, would bring the wanderer back to his lord. the speaker asked for all those who felt this to be a picture of their experience to raise the hand. i was sitting in the front seat, and shame only kept me from raising my hand at once. but i did so want to get all god had for me, and i determined to be true; and after a struggle i raised my hand. wondering if others were like myself, i ventured to glance back and saw many hands were raised, though the audience was composed almost entirely of christian workers, ministers, and missionaries. the leader then went on to say _that_ life which he had described was _not_ the life god planned or wished for his children. he described the higher life of peace, rest in the lord, of power and freedom from struggle, worry, care. as i listened i could scarcely believe it could be true, yet my whole soul was moved so that it was with the greatest difficulty i could control my emotion. i saw then, though dimly, that i was nearing the goal for which i had been aiming all my life. early the next morning, soon after daybreak, i went over on my knees carefully and prayerfully all the passages on the victorious life that were given in a little yellow leaflet that the speaker had distributed.[ ] what a comfort and strength it was to see how clear god's word was that victory, not defeat, was his will for his children, and to see what wonderful provision he had made! later, during the days that followed, clearer light came. i did what i was asked to do--i quietly but definitely accepted christ as my saviour from the _power_ of sin as i had so long before accepted him as my saviour from the _penalty_ of sin. and on this i rested. i left niagara, realizing, however, there was still something i had not got. i felt much as the blind man must have felt when he said, "i see men as trees, walking" (a. v.). i had begun to see light, but dimly. the day after reaching home i picked up a little booklet, "the life that wins,"[ ] which i had not read before, and going to my son's bedside i told him it was the personal testimony of one whom god had used to bring great blessing into my life. i then read it aloud till i came to the words, "at last i realized that jesus christ was actually and literally within me." i stopped amazed. the sun seemed suddenly to come from under a cloud and flood my whole soul with light. how blind i'd been! i saw at last the secret of victory--it was simply jesus christ himself--his own life lived out in the believer. but the thought of victory was for the moment lost sight of in the inexpressible joy of realizing christ's indwelling presence! like a tired, worn-out wanderer finding home at last i just _rested_ in him. rested in his love--in himself. and, oh, the peace and joy that came flooding my life! a restfulness and quietness of spirit i never thought could be mine took possession of me so naturally. literally a new life began for me, or rather _in_ me. it was just "the life that is christ." the first step i took in this new life was to get standing on god's own word, and not merely on man's teaching or even on a personal experience. and as i studied especially the truth of christ's indwelling, victory over sin, and god's bountiful provision, the word was fairly illumined with new light. the years that have passed have been years of blessed fellowship with christ and of joy in his service. a friend asked me not long ago if i could give in a sentence the after result in my life of what i said had come to me in , and i replied, "yes, it can be all summed up in one word, 'resting.'" some have asked, "but have you never sinned?" yes, i grieve to say i have. sin is the one thing i abhor--for it is the one thing that can, if unrepented of, separate us, not from christ, but from the consciousness of his presence. but i have learned that there is instantaneous forgiveness and restoration to be had _always_. that there need be no times of despair. one of the blessed results of this life is not only the consciousness of christ's presence, but the _reality_ of his presence as manifested in definite results when, in the daily details of life, matters are left with him and he has undertaken. my own thought of him is beautifully expressed in spurgeon's words: "what the hand is to the lute, what the breath is to the flute, what's the mother to the child, what the guide in pathless wild, what is oil to troubled wave, what is ransom to a slave, what is flower to the bee, that is jesus christ to me." the special bible-study which i made at that time was embodied in a leaflet. proving helpful to others, it is added below.[ ] =god's presence= the secret of victory is simply christ himself in the heart of the believer. this truth, of christ's indwelling, is, and always has been, a _mystery_. romans : . ephesians : with colossians : , . ephesians : , (r. v.). colossians : . christ himself taught this truth. john : , ; : - ; : - . matthew : . revelation : . (see also mark : ). it was a vital reality to the apostle paul. romans : . corinthians : . corinthians : (r. v.). corinthians : . corinthians : . galatians : . galatians : . galatians : . ephesians : . philippians : thessalonians : . hebrews : . the words "in christ," which recur in many other passages, will have a new literalness when read in the light of the above. the apostle john had a like conception of christ's indwelling presence. john : to : , . john : , , , . john : . =god's purpose= as victory is the result of christ's life lived out in the believer, it is important that we see clearly that _victory_, and not _defeat_, is god's purpose for his children. the scriptures are very decided upon this truth. luke : , . romans : . [a]romans, chaps. and . corinthians : . corinthians : . corinthians : . ephesians : , . colossians : . thessalonians : . thessalonians : (r.v.). timothy : . titus : . hebrews : . peter : . peter : . john : . john : , . and many other passages. that christ came as the saviour from the _power_ as well as the _penalty_ of sin we see in matthew : , with john : , , and titus : . =god's provision= god knew the frailty of man, that his heart was "desperately wicked," that even his righteousness was "as filthy rags," that man's only hope for victory over sin must come from the god-ward side. he, therefore, made kingly provision so rich, so sufficient, so exceeding abundant, that as we study it, we feel we have tapped a mine of wealth, too deep to fathom. just a few suggestions of its riches: god's _greatest_ provision is the gift of a part of his own being in the person of the holy spirit. the following are but some of the many things the holy spirit does for us, as recorded in the word: he begets us into the family of god.--john : . he seals or marks us as god's.--eph. : . he dwells in us.-- cor. : . he unites us to christ.-- cor. : , . he changes us into the likeness of christ.-- cor. : . he helps in prayer.--rom. : . he comforts.--john : . he guides.--rom. : . he strengthens with power.--eph. : . he is the source of power and fruitfulness.--john : , . some of the victorious _results_ in our life, as christ has his way in us, are shown in: romans : , . romans : . corinthians : , . corinthians : . ephesians : . ephesians : , . philippians : , , . colossians : . peter : . timothy : . jude . john : . to the seeker for further scripture help the writer would suggest a plan that has proved a great blessing to herself. read the psalms through, making careful record of all the statements of what the lord was to the writers of the psalms. the list will surprise you. then on your knees go over them one by one, with the prayer that christ may be to you what he was to david and the others. take a cruden's, or better still a young's, concordance and look up the texts under such headings as love, fulness, power, riches, grace, etc., grouping them into usable bible studies. as a sample, taking this last word, "grace"; the more one studies it the more wonderful does it become. here are some of these headings: grace for grace.--john : . sufficient grace.-- cor. : . more grace.--james : . all grace.-- cor. : . abundant grace.--rom. : . exceeding abundant grace.-- tim. : . exceeding riches of his grace.--eph. : . but let us remember that to simply know of riches will never materially benefit us. we must make them our own. all fulness dwells in christ. it is only as we "apprehend" (which means take hold or take in) christ through the holy spirit can it be possible for these spiritual riches to become ours. the slogan of this glorious life in christ is just "let go and let god." footnotes: [ ] this leaflet, giving a carefully selected list of scripture references on the victorious life, may be had from the sunday school times company, walnut street, philadelphia, pa., at cents per copies; or cents for copies; postpaid. [ ] "the life that wins" may be obtained from the sunday school times company at cents each; or cents a dozen copies, or $ . per hundred, postpaid. [ ] this leaflet may be obtained from the christian life literature fund, perry building, philadelphia, at cts. a dozen, cts. a hundred, or cts. each. [a] the th chapter of romans should be read in the light of the th and th chapters. * * * * * transcriber's notes: obvious punctuation errors repaired. page , " " missing from list of conditions of prevailing prayer. the list was renumbered to correct this. subconscious religion does god answer christians only? conflicting prayers subconscious religion praying for visions of heaven great prayers use of the bible in prayer conclusions _by_ russell h. conwell volume national extension university fifth avenue, new york effective prayer copyright, , by harper & brothers printed in the united states of america chapter i does god answer christians only? what might be the consensus of opinion found in a digest of all the testimonies of mankind cannot be surmised, but it did not appear that god was "a respecter of persons" through those years of prayer at the baptist temple. the prevailing belief, however, was that god was more willing to answer the sincere disciple than he was to heed the requests of a great sinner. but the fact was also evident that god does answer the just and the unjust. the assertion of the blind man before the pharisees that "god heareth not sinners" was evidently a quotation from the pharisees' creed and not a gospel precept. as all have sinned and come short of the glory of god, no one would be heard if god would not hear sinners. jesus was more inclined to heed the requests of john and peter than he was to listen to the requests of the sacrilegious sadducee. but a repentant sadducee would not be neglected, and the fact is apparent that there is a clear distinction between the influence with god of a righteous man and the influence of a wicked or a frightened sinner. here are a few of the testimonies which have a bearing on this important subject. one hardened sinner was so convicted of his completely lost condition that he spent the night in agony, calling on god for forgiveness. he was determined to fight the battle alone, but his strength failed and he was certain that he was condemned irrevocably to eternal punishment. his prayer availed him nothing. when, at last, he opened his heart to a faithful christian friend, that friend's prayer was heard instantaneously, and the seeker knew by an instinct axiomatic that he was received by the lord. there is a general belief that god does hear the pure christian more readily than he does the vile reprobate. that belief is founded in the moral laws universally recognized in human relations. there may also be a semiscientific reason. the soul which is in tune with the infinite can more effectively detect and understand the "sound waves" from the spirit world than the soul which is out of tune with god. in the mass of the correspondence about which this book is written there are strong testimonies to the necessity and attainableness of a practical harmony with the spirit of god. one man who has been long a teacher of psychology wrote that he had made a deliberate test of the matter, and a condensed report of his experience is here given. he sought "to place his soul in communion with god." he desired that state of spiritual harmony with the divine character which would make him sensitive to every spiritually divine impression. hence, he prepared himself in this way: he locked himself in his room and gave himself up to the serious business of getting into communication with god. he began to count his sins of commission and earnestly asking forgiveness; he promised the lord that he would guard himself against them evermore. he then tried to comprehend the awful list of sins of omission which for a while made him hopeless of god's favor. but in deep and prayerful meditation, thinking long on the great mercy of god and of the propitiation christ had given, he felt his soul slowly emerge from the slough of despond. suddenly a strange confidence took possession of his soul and a feeling of glad triumph overcame all doubt of his forgiveness. the assurance that he was getting into harmony with the spirit of god became complete. he threw himself across his bed and "let go of himself," making an absolute surrender to the spiritual impressions. into such a state the apostles and prophets must have entered to feel the spiritual impulses and see the visions which they recorded. it as an exaltation of the whole being--a temporarily superhuman experience which may be the state of the soul when released from the body. the joy of that hour of oneness with god cannot be described to one who has not known it. it is higher, purer, more real than other feelings. it is so unlike any other experience on earth. "the soul is lost in god." the worshiper is outside and above himself. life gleams as a cloud glows in some heavenly morning. disease, pain, human limitations, care, or anxiety is nonexistent. a pure peace which passeth all understanding permeates the whole being. underneath are the everlasting arms; over him is the spirit face of christ. but why should he try to convey an idea of that growing answer to his prayer? he knows he is with his lord. but the less he tries to tell his experience the more confidence his unbelieving friends will have in his sanity. that such harmony with the divine is subject to certain laws is seen in the fact that such elevation of soul is gained only by a full compliance with certain conditions. some of these conditions are found by experience to be those which are laid down in the scriptures. the seeker must force out of his heart all malice, jealousy, hate, selfishness, covetousness, unbelief, and give himself up to the opposite feelings. we must go over wholly to pure intentions, holy aspirations, truth-living, kindness, forgiveness, love for all, inflexible adherence to the right, and all in all harmonizing with the divine disposition. pure holiness must be sought, without which no man can please god. all those who give themselves over to such a state of surrender to god have the full assurance of faith which is promised to those who love god with all their hearts and with all their minds. such servants of god can offer prayer which avail much more than the frightened call of the worldly minded, egotistic, and selfish enemy of good people and good principles. god loves all men with an everlasting affection. but the kind of intensity of his affection for the saint and the transgressor is quite different. christ loved the priest and the levite in a true sense, but he loved the good samaritan more. he can love and care for his own without encouraging evil. he could not be just and show no partiality for those who obey him fully. he never fails to hear the cry of any contrite heart, but even among the disciples john was especially beloved. chapter ii conflicting prayers this chapter leads into the wilderness. just beyond it is the insane asylum. the most bewildering, confusing, and dangerous region is the morass of conflicting prayers. no human theory concerning them is even helpful. the labyrinth is absolutely trackless to the human mind when once the worshiper becomes entangled therein. so we will not attempt to explain any of the even unthinkable intricacies of its strange region. nowhere in the bible does the lord answer the questions which millions have asked about it. two persons, equally sincere, pray for success in a matter where the victory of one must be the defeat of the other. nations at war pray hard and long for victory, and not even god can answer both. something must be taken from one to give to another, while the one in possession is praying that he may keep it. one's loss is another's gain. the employer prays for a profit on his business, and the laborer prays for higher wages. the white man and the colored man prays for his own tribe. the samaritan and jew, worshiping the same god and having the same family inheritance, believe it is a duty to hate each other, and each calls for god's curses on the other. many an honest investigator has entered this region of doubt and mystery and managed to back out while still in his right mind. but he has returned the worse for the experience. all sorts of foolish speculations have been given creedal expression until men have declared, with strange assurance, that man cannot trust his reason or his conscience in any matter. they have tried to prove that the laws of nature are inflexible and that prayer cannot have any influence whatever in current events. gifted men and women of culture and high purpose have convinced themselves that there is no evil, that men never sin, that the bible theories concerning prayer are fanciful and too miraculous to be possible. "too much study hath made thee mad," said the practical roman to the apostle paul. the old roman had probably seen so many religions that he had no faith in any. the religious maniacs are those men who have broken down their brains by laborious study over these insoluble problems. therefore, while no one should discourage reasonable research anywhere, and while it is not sacrilegious or foolish to think on these things, it does seem best to admit that to the most faithful christian there are unsearchable things of god which he cannot sanely hope to understand in this life. "my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the lord. for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." we cannot expect to achieve a knowledge as great and extensive as that of the creator, and must be content with our reasonable limitations. "what i do ye know not now, but ye shall know hereafter." satisfied, then, with the promise of that future full revelation we should study all that providence places before us for investigation and never let go of what we are sure we do know. we will distinguish, as clearly as possible, between our imagination and our knowledge, and with a level head and our feet on solid ground we will live by a faith that is reasonable and never become blindly reckless. the lightning struck a tree near a neighbor's residence last week. he knows that to be a hard fact. he does not know much about the electric currents in the atmosphere, neither does the most experienced scientist; but the neighbor knows that the lightning did splinter that tree. from that fact he entertains a faith in a possible return of that event and by faith he puts up a lightning rod on his barn. the observer notices that sin brings its own punishment in many cases, and he has faith that such will be the universal experience of the future. so he keeps his soul insured by safe and sane investment in righteousness. every sane man knows that we must at all times walk largely by faith. faith is a constituent part of the natural human constitution. the degree of faith determines the character of the individual. faith, like water, seeks its level. but the greater its safe elevation, the greater its power. faith must grow reasonably, like a grain of mustard seed. it also develops mysteriously by natural increase until the fowls of the air nest in its branches and its growing root will cleave off the side of the mountain. the patriot, earnestly seeking victory, lets no possible agency pass unused to overcome the enemy. when he has prepared fully and laboriously for the battle he will then pray for the help which god may give him. even should he strongly doubt that the great power moving on events beyond his knowledge can or will hear him, yet he will not fail to pray. any man who calls on the christian's god will not ask him to aid an unholy cause. a murderer seeking an opportunity to kill will not call on god for aid. the thief ever fears some providential interference with his plans. the christian ever hopes for god's aid, and asks for it because his aim is a godly one. herein is found the safe position for the believer to take. we can pray for the heathen, although they do pray against their own good. we can pray for victory in some holy war, because the enemy are praying really against their own good. because their cause is unrighteous, their victory would be a great loss to them. hence, even the great prayers which sublimely petition for the nations, and which include the whole world in their range of vision, are consistent only when man realizes his weakness and his ignorance, and adds to every prayer the reservation, "nevertheless, not my will but thine be done." he is the wisest servant of god who can pray from the camp that he may conquer if his cause be really just. the preacher who enters his pulpit with an almost agonizing prayer that god would aid him in his presentation of the christ to men must ever ask that god will turn aside any arrow which would do harm to the cause. in his ignorance or weakness he may mistake the gospel message, or may not present the whole truth, and he must ever ask that, whether he gain or lose in the esteem of his congregation, the truth shall always prevail. christian nations are often wrong in their diplomacy or in their wars, as they discover after a while. the lord, therefore, gave them that for which they would have asked had their hearts been right with god and their intentions been christlike toward men. sometime we shall understand. but now the seeming inconsistency of asking the lord to aid his own cause, or praying that christ may soon come into his own kingdom, is ever a stumbling block to the doubtful ones. if the lord has all power and has a sincere desire to make the world good, why does he not do it by one sweep of his hand or by one magic word? what is the reason for his commandment to pray to him and to ask him to do that which he wishes to do and can do himself? all these questions lead into the wilderness. we do not know. we cannot suggest any hypothesis which would make the sovereignty of god and the free will of man reconcilable. man's mind is so constructed that it is impossible to believe that the creator controls all things and arranges the details of even our thoughts and yet leaves man free to choose to defeat the lord by his own thoughts and actions. it is impossible fully to believe that man can voluntarily do evil without in some way interfering with the designs and power of god. if god undertakes to save the world, and "would not that any should perish," but that all should come unto him and live, and yet sinful man can defeat or hinder the accomplishment of his purpose, then the thinker must conclude that god is not supreme. yet when we keep our minds within their reasonable limits and fall back on our common sense we must believe that god is all-powerful and also that man is free to be sinful. the facts are actual facts, although we cannot reconcile them. there is but little we frail mortals can understand about such matters. let us, therefore, carefully hold to the facts which we can comprehend, and never assume that things which are, surely are not, or that things which are not, most surely are. there was a bowlder in the highway yesterday. we don't know how it came to be there. we know it should not be there. but there it is, and he would be idiotic who tried to go on as if the stone were not there. behold! there is set before every man good and evil. "choose good that thou and thy seed may live." we know that in a thousand matters we can choose the good or choose the evil. we see also that liberty is limited by great laws and there are a myriad of things a man cannot possibly do and about which he has no choice. when a man reaches those limitations his responsibility for choosing ceases. with these simple facts the teaching of the bible is fully in accord. the necessity for sustenance and protection beyond our ability to supply is ever a great apparent fact. the recognition of that fact leads the thoughtful man to prayer. let us, therefore, have a care not to venture too far into the wilderness of the seeming theological inconsistencies. that god does answer men and women, thousands can testify. they have tried it fully. they cannot explain why god thus works out his complicated schemes, but they know that he does work in that way. it is established fact. the great teacher and saviour also prayed. that is enough. chapter iii subconscious religion in leipzig, germany, in there stood an old three-story mansion, used as a manufactory of mechanical toys. an american student attending the university was invited to visit the showrooms in the upper story and became intently interested in the surprising exhibition of inventive genius. as the visitor descended to the second and first floors he visited the rooms where machinery of many kinds was turning out various parts of the toys. but when he ventured to descend to the cellar to look at the power plant he found "no admission" on every door. but he was more disappointed when he was told that the "designing room," where the toys were invented and the drawings made, was in the subcellar. in order to preserve their patents and their secret processes, even the workmen on the upper floors were forbidden ever to look into the subcellar. that illustrative fact came forcibly to mind when meditating long over a letter written by a praying student and author who said that he felt sure that the only direct passage between the human soul and the world spirits is through the subconscious mind. from that subcellar of the soul come ideas, impulses, and suggestions which most largely influence our actions. but we are forbidden to enter that department to examine the plans or listen to the wireless dispatches from the spirit world so continuously received there. "no admission" is posted on every door to the subcellar designing room of the human soul. we get the blue prints of new plans, or read suggestions for new or improved work sent up to our brains. but who makes them we do not know. in the impenetrable regions of our mental and spiritual nature are formulated many ideas and moral laws which we must blindly obey. a man is what he thinks, and the larger portion of his thinking is originated or molded in his subconscious self. that is evidently the meaning of the reference by peter to the "hidden man of the heart." it is amazing to the careful student of our mental constitution to find out how meager is the part of our thinking which originates in the suggestions of our five senses. from the grecian and german philosophers some psychologists derived the hypothesis that the subconscious self is only the aggregation of all the faint or half-formed ideas which are not strong enough to force themselves up into full recognition by the brain. consciousness includes only those thoughts which the brain accepts and uses in positive action. that theory seems to be in a measure, true. there are faint suggestions and half-formed motives of which we catch glimpses and which never seem to be fully developed. also the natural instincts of our animal nature still continue and persist in our higher station in the creative order. it can be noted by anyone that perhaps not one in a thousand of our muscular contractions or of our decided actions is consciously dictated by our will. the human race is seemingly, in a large measure, a collection of automatons. we are generally moved about by powers and mechanisms beyond our comprehension and are unconsciously working out designs in the making of which we have no consciously important part. it is difficult to write clearly on such a subtle theme or explain what is known concerning autosuggestion or explain the laws which, in a measure, control the unconscious part of human life without using technical terms or scientific formulas beyond the understanding of the everyday reader. but, plainly stated, a human being uses but a small inclosure in which he can move on his own conscious volition. we are fearfully and wonderfully made. "what i would not that i do and what i would that i do not" was not the exclusive experience of the apostle paul. but it is the common experience of all mankind. a man's thoughts, happiness, and usefulness are the products of his moral character. his "subconscious self" is his real character. what one does consciously may not represent his real character, but that which he does without meditation or conscious limitation represents the true disposition or tendency of his real nature. inasmuch as ye are disposed by nature or by second nature to be a good samaritan or to aid "the least of these," ye have lived a continual good deed for the master. the redeemed soul is one whose permanent disposition, called his "subconscious" or "subliminal self," is controlled by the magnetic influence of the spirit of truth and goodness. the few matters on which the brain acts directly are the deeds of the conscious mind. they are controlled by the will and reasoning powers of the independent portion of man's being. they may or may not accord with the heart's general impulses or they may be the direct product of the heart's purposes. the will and the subconscious self interact, each influencing the other. this thought presents "a logical contradiction" which has puzzled many great minds. but our appeal here is to the everyday experience of sincere, truthful christians concerning their communication with god through the subconscious mind. one writer states that she has often received trustworthy messages from the spirit world in dreams and in unusual impressions during waking hours. this statement often arouses the general prejudice which some of the extreme spiritualists or deceivers have brought upon the theory of mental communication with the departed; but it should be examined on its own merits without bias. the testimony of the millions who believe or hope that they have had messages from their beloved who have gone on before counts for much and is not a testimony confined to professional mediums. the rejection of the theory that it is possible for angel beings to communicate with mortals, and that they are sent of god to do so, involves the rejection of the whole bible as a divinely truthful book. if there is no open path through the subconscious self to the spirit world, then the recorded visits of the holy spirit to the hearts of men are only idle tales. the disbelief in the soul's ability to hear heavenly voices or receive spiritual suggestions from other spirits would destroy all trust in supernatural religions. god does speak to man in the events and laws of the material life, and he also speaks to us in the "quiet, small voice" as he did to elijah at sinai. there appears to be no alternative but to believe in that declaration, for to reject it is to reject the whole body of christian teaching. we will not entertain such a suicidal proposition. the indestructible spirit body is the same being and possesses the same characteristics in the material body that it possesses when separated from this limiting framework of the earthly body. it is indestructible, but it can be modified in disposition while in this body. that statement, for the sake of brevity, is mentioned dogmatically, but it will be illustrated by the following testimonials. one writer who evidently has been reared to believe sincerely in "emotional religion," who shouts and groans and wrings his hands at any devotional meeting, but whose probity and strong good sense are the admiration of his friends, states that he knows "that his redeemer liveth, by the direct assurance of the spirit." he claims that when a man tells him a lie he feels the presence of evil. he testifies that in his most exalted moments following a season of fervent prayer he knows what it is to realize the fact that he lives and moves and has his being in god. there are thousands of men and women whose wild behavior in religious meetings is only the natural evidence of a disordered mind. the negro camp meeting and the whirling of the egyptian dervishes seem to be much alike in their manner of working up a religious excitement. the unbalanced mental condition of some truly honest worshipers causes distrust of others whose good sense in other matters is never questioned. other writers tell of their experience of some overpowering emotion which came so logically in answer to their prayer that they cannot doubt that such was truly the fact. a man prayed that he might be protected through the night. he awakened from sleep, moved by an "inward impulse" irresistible, and went to the barn to find, as he opened the stable door, a little blaze creeping toward the haymow. it was easily extinguished then, but ten minutes later would have been entirely beyond control. the fire was caused by a lighted cigar dropped carelessly on the stable floor near the horses. another writes that he is naturally emotional and dares not trust himself on any pinnacle, as he always feels when on any high place a strange desire to leap off in suicide. he states that the sensitiveness of his emotional nature becomes most acute in religious gatherings, and that he has never found himself mistaken when he has followed the leadings of that spirit. his wife writes that he had, for years, planted the crops which he "felt like planting" after attending a religious meeting. she adds that while, at first, she had regarded his "moods" as accidental emotions, she had learned that his crops planted in those moods were always profitable investments. another who had been trained in the friends' meeting to wait for the spirit to move him went so far as to wait for the same impulse in all his undertakings. he tried to lay his business ventures before the lord in silent prayer and then go in the direction the spirit indicated. he related how, when once he was lost in a thick forest on a cloudy day, he prayed until his "sense of direction" became so clear that he started with closed eyes to take the direction toward which his inward impression impelled him. another acted always on the impulse of the moment in speaking to a friend or to a stranger upon religious matters. another wrote that she had observed for many years that the praying housekeepers were guided in their work by the most trustworthy intuitions. few is the number of women who guide their domestic affairs by the rules of cold science, and the larger part of a mother's movements in the care of her children are the unconscious results of special intuition. she claims that in the intuitional nature of the human soul there is such nearness to the divine nature that the especially sensitive soul "feels impulses from across the border." here, again, after a day's study of the many accounts concerning the impulses awakened by prayer, we lay down the correspondence with a sigh of regret that nothing absolutely conclusive for or against prayer is to be found. we must still believe or disbelieve according to the measure of faith. in the courts of law attorneys often establish their cases by the use of what is termed "cumulative evidence," where they secure the testimony of many witnesses to the same fact. if that custom be applied to the establishment of the fact that emotions and impulses are sent in answer to prayer the number in its favor would be overwhelming. down in the subcellar of the mind there may be a tunnel leading through to the palace of god. millions believe that is a fact. no one can prove it is not so. therefore, with the reasonable student, the testimony of the many will still be considered trustworthy. the soul of god speaketh often to the soul of man. a great writer on secular subjects confirmed the general impression when he forcibly wrote, "you can get almost anything you want, if you only want it hard enough, and long enough, and with faith enough." chapter iv praying for visions of heaven a sturdy young farmer's boy who had inherited a strong body, a clear mind, and a good family name sat under a maple tree in the hayfield at the hot noontide. he was eating a cold lunch and at the same time reading an article in the weekly paper. the editor had written an editorial on the romantic history of the poor country boys who had risen to world-wide fame and to enormous riches. when he had reread the article he tossed the paper aside, lay back on the odorous new-mown grass, looked up at the deep-blue sky, and watched the passing of a pure-white cloud. a vision of what the world might be to him came in a dreamy way. other boys as poor as he had graduated from college, had made great scientific discoveries, had married rich and beautiful women, had traveled in far countries, had feasted with kings, had held high office, and had written great books. why could not he follow their example? it seemed impossible, and with a deep sigh he arose and seized his scythe. but the vision could not be obscured. as his strong muscles drove the sharp blade through the thick grass he kept muttering to himself, debating pro and con the possibility of an ignorant farmer, living far away from city civilization, and too far from a railroad to hear the whistle, to become powerful in national affairs. how did they start? what did they do first? when his return swath brought him again near the shade of the tree where he had eaten his lunch he caught up the weekly paper and read again the editorial. then he left his scythe in the grass and went into the shade, leaned against the gnarled trunk of the old tree, and, wholly engrossed in earnest thought, forgot his work. he reviewed his own simple life and examined his own plans and ambitions. he had expected to marry some one of the strong, sensible, country girls and bring her home to live with the old folks, as his father had done. he had a dim idea that he would inherit the old, stony farm some day. he had a latent ambition to raise more corn than his father had raised and to clear a large piece of woodland which for centuries had hidden the mountain side. he would build an addition to the stable and put in a new pair of bars near the brook where the cattle went to drink in winter. he had also a half-formed purpose to join the local church, and perhaps some day he would be an elder. at last he aroused himself and, with a half-angry impulse, he began to strike the grass with his scythe as if the grass were some sneaking enemy. he could not arouse again the sweet content of the forenoon. he had caught a glimpse of that far-away land, and while he did not hope ever to enter it, yet the thought disturbed him. the next sunday the echo of the old church bell, along the narrow, but beautiful, berkshire valleys, called him to church. the cows were milked and fed, the old horse curried, and the chores hastily finished when he ran down the road to overtake the old folks. but the grand forest, the sheening, cascading brook, and the brown fields were not the same to him that they were the day before. the cows and horses in the pastures near the road had lost their fascination and value. the hills seemed lower and the grain fields more narrow, the cottages seemed shrunken, and the old church was but an awkwardly built bungalow. all had changed. his clothing was coarser woven and the most attractive girls in their sunday attire were rude specimens of country verdancy. as if by a preconceived purpose to accelerate his sweeping mental changes the preacher that morning took his text from the proverbs of solomon, wherein he stated that wisdom is more valuable than gold or rubies. the speaker illustrated his sermon by showing the value of an education. he mentioned the happiness of the men and women who knew the structure of vegetation, of animals, and the laws which control their life. he mentioned cases of self-made men who had read good books and whose minds could walk with god through his wonderful natural creations. he spoke of the uselessness or curse of possessions which the owner cannot enjoy for lack of knowledge. he said that the discipline of obtaining wisdom was in itself of great value and that god promised riches, and honor to the man who would earn them. he also said that the lord started many of us into life with nothing for the loving purpose of developing our capacity and inclination to know and enjoy more. the happiest boy is the one who makes his own toys. the application of the sermon brought forth the exhortation to read instructive books, to examine more closely the works of nature and the laws which control our being. "learn something every day," said the preacher, and he closed with the quotation from luther, "not a day without learning another verse" ("_nulla dies sine versu_"). the young farmer was an only son. but his parents had wisely kept him from selfishness and egotism. he had been taught to work and to be grateful for the necessities of life. he had a loyal disposition and loved his parents with a half-worshipful devotion. he had been contented, industrious, careful, and honest. his only pride seemed to be in the distance he could see and in the large burden he could shoulder or carry. he had left school because his father needed him on the farm and he had abandoned the expectation of further education. but on that sunday he held a long conference with his mother and father concerning his ambition to be something more than a country farmer. he read to them the editorial which had so moved him, and tearfully said: "i want to be great like them! i must improve my mind. i must increase my skill. i must have more influence and do more good. i must get more wisdom and more understanding. this farm is too small a place for me. i will stay at home if i can, or as long as i can, but i must begin to study to-morrow, and never thereafter lose a day. god helping me, i will be something worth while." his parents, with sad hearts, saw the reasonableness of his ambition and gave their consent to his proposed education. he began to read selected books at home, but he soon saw the great advantage of academic instruction in some well-equipped institution. he attended a high school in a near-by village and an academy in another part of the country. he was the leader of his classes and a close student of languages and natural science. he had obtained a glimpse of the world of knowledge and was fascinated with the idea of a university education. beyond the university, he occasionally saw himself a multimillionaire with a palace and a brilliant retinue of servants. he had chosen for his life mate a brilliant young woman who was a teacher in a kindergarten school connected with the academy. they were to be married when he should graduate from the university. all seemed hopeful and promised a most noble and notable career. but while he was spending his vacation at the old home in the hampshire highlands of the berkshire hills, helping his old father in gathering the usual crops, he received an invitation from a rich uncle living near san francisco, inviting him to visit his estate. the uncle had not often corresponded with the young man's parents and they had taken no interest in his history. they had heard that he was a wealthy manufacturer and a railroad director. so the brother, and the sister who was the student's mother, had lost all acquaintance with each other in the fifty years of their separation. the young man gladly accepted his uncle's invitation to visit him, and the uncle sent on a railroad pass to bring him to california and return. the estate of the uncle was on the shore of the pacific, occupying a gentle slope with wide lawns, evergreen trees fancifully trimmed, and gushing fountains. hedges of lilies, acres of poppies, roses of every perennial variety, and shade trees in long rows, decorated the great plateau. orchards of luscious and rare fruits stretched away in great lanes from the back gardens. the house was a mansion built for show, with a front largely grecian in design, and a rear porch and veranda of the old colony style. carpets, paintings, mirrors, and a hundred curious and costly decorations made an exhibition of lavish wealth. fine horses and extravagantly furnished carriages in great variety filled the stables. servants' quarters were really fine cottages and the gatekeeper's lodge cost an extravagant sum. to this new england nephew who had spent his youth in the simplicity and poverty of a back-country farm, all this display of wealth was bewildering. the great library of costly volumes, few of which had ever been opened, seemed to him a great opportunity for his uncle to learn almost everything. the food was so various and so delicious. the wines which he had never tasted were sweetly stimulating and had been made on the estate. his uncle entertained him royally and introduced him to a number of handsome young ladies of fascinating manners, who volunteered to teach him to dance. every kind of musical invention seemed to be stored in the mansion, and quartets from the university near by came in often to entertain and to be entertained at the uncle's evening socials. the uncle was a widower and childless, and seemed to be most pathetically lonely. he was pleased with his nephew and was proud of his apparently sterling character and manly appearance. the evening before the nephew's departure on his return journey his uncle talked with him until late in the night and told him frankly that he was going to make the young man his sole heir. but he made his nephew promise repeatedly not to tell any person, not even his parents, what the uncle had decided to do. the return of that young man, when viewed in the light of subsequent events, must have been a startling experience to his dear, patient, plodding old parents. his manners, his thoughts, his estimation of values had undergone a violent change. the old farmhouse seemed to him to be smaller than ever, the furniture was rude and cheap, the food was coarse and unpalatable, the horse was shamefully old, his father's overalls were disgracefully stained, and his mother's old apron was fit only for rags! the home was lonesome and uncomfortable. he sat by the fire on the cool evenings, silently picturing in his wild imagination what he would do with his millions, and sometimes he admitted, for an instant, the hope that his uncle would die very soon. he abandoned the idea of going on with his college education. he reasoned that money can buy anything and assured himself that he could hire men to think for him if he should need them. letters from his fiancée became a bore. she was too plain and too unsophisticated to adorn his future mansion. he could not think of marrying a woman of whom he would be ashamed in that fashionable group to which he would be attached. he finally broke the engagement, telling her that he had discovered that he did not love her enough sincerely to marry her. the lady became ill and was suddenly killed in an accident in the sanitarium. the young man would not work. he refused to help his father on the old place and bluntly refused to help his mother when she was about her household tasks alone. all was changed. he was no longer their son. the father felt the impression of mystery about the son's strange behavior and suggested to his wife that the boy showed symptoms of insanity. not many months passed before the son left his home to take an easy position as a clerk in boston. but he soon left that and went to sea in a steamer, where he acted as assistant to the steward. at bordeaux, france, he made the acquaintance of two american young men whose wealthy parents supplied them with funds to travel, but evidently did so to keep the rascals away from home. then his downward course became a reckless race. a few years later the uncle heard or read that his nephew was sentenced to three months in the workhouse for drunkenness, and he changed his will, leaving all his estate to benevolent institutions. from that time the unrepentant prodigal disappeared from the knowledge or care of his old neighbors. both his parents went down to the grave in bitter sorrow before his reform. the death of the mother was only a few weeks later than the death of the father. god pity them both, god pity us all who vainly the dreams of youth recall. of all sad words of tongue or pen the saddest are these, "it might have been." ah, well for us all some sweet hope lies deeply hidden from human eyes, and in the hereafter the angels may roll the stone from the grave away. the friend who reads this account of that young man's broken life may ask what this biographical sketch has to do with the subject of "unanswered prayer." it has much to do with it. such experiences, which must have been seen in millions of cases, show a reasonable explanation why so many prayers for a view of heaven are denied. at almost every funeral the loved ones ask if the departed is still living and why god does not permit them to come back and tell us about their spirit life. "what are they doing in heaven?" is a question on the lips of millions. but in the letters herein mentioned the records of unanswered prayers included many who prayed for visions of heaven or who wished to see the angels or the face of the saviour. one brother prayed continually, "oh, for one view of the holy city!" and another seemed never to leave out of his daily prayer, "lord, open my eyes to see the faces of the dear ones hovering about me!" but our eyes are still holden. our pleading hearts are unsatisfied. we are not permitted to see our future home nor catch more than a glimpse of the angels' wings. when, however, we seek an explanation of this divine arrangement, this separation of this life from the other, the faithful believer in god's wisdom and love can easily set up a reasonable theory concerning it. he will see that god has placed us on this earth to grow in knowledge, to get necessary spiritual discipline for his heavenly service. to obtain that training we must keep our attention on the duties of our daily tasks and do them well. we cannot reap rye with heaven in actual view. it is not consistent to think after the apostle john saw the holy city at patmos he could devote himself as readily to catching fish. when that california uncle showed his nephew all that luxury, beauty, and wealth, and told him that he would some day own it all, it was a foolish act--almost criminal. the young man's mental and moral development was stopped then and there. the young man lost far more than the estate could be worth. suddenly acquired riches are ever harmful. dissatisfaction with this life is a fatal sin. god commands us to be content and toil. he, therefore, does not himself do so destructive and discouraging an act as to show us heaven's glories and fill us with a suicidal anxiety to get out of this world at once and speedily to enter the other where there is no more pain or sorrow or dying. a prayer for a view of heaven seems, therefore, to be an unreasonable request. this conclusion satisfies many who have been denied communication with the departed dear ones, and they take up their toil, content to labor and to wait. god does not interfere with the healthful exercise of our free will by holding bribes before our eyes or by forcing our discipline by awful fears. chapter v great prayers men talk and write of "great prayers" as though such petitions could be weighed or measured. they appear to think that sacred feelings can find a standard of comparison. but even the rightfully esteemed lord's prayer presents no universal standard by which to measure our varying appeals. one old saint writes that he often gets out of patience when the lord's prayer is intoned or recited, as none of its paragraphs fitly or adequately expresses his "soul's sincere desire." prayer is necessarily as varying in its moods and objects as a kaleidoscope. jesus said, "after this manner pray ye." and we must pray "after this manner." but person, time, place, hearers, sharers, emotions, ideas, desires, and needs all enter into the conditions of earnest prayer. to call on god in your own way, with your own motives and your own emotions and your own language, or without words, will be a clear fulfillment of the command to pray. the lord understands every language and knows all that the heart would express if it could find an adequate form of speech. the books, except the bible, most frequently quoted in these letters include volumes by st. augustine, luther, wesley, whitfield, spurgeon, moody, fosdick, nicoll, campbell, whittle, and finney. in the quotations the idea is ever present that there are _great_ prayers. that place is given most frequently to the printed petitions of spurgeon. but it is misleading to attempt to place a valuation on any of them. the most effective prayer recorded was the appeal of the publican as he smote his breast; and christ's long prayer at the last supper was the most comprehensive. but in the following circumstances, having trustworthy witnesses, no two of the marvelously effective petitions were alike--_viz._, the english boy's prayer for his blind sister's restoration to sight; muller's prayer for a food supply for his orphanage; doctor cullis's appeal to god for his consumptive home; doctor kincaid's petition for protection for the converts of ava; the brooklyn child's prayer for her shipwrecked father; the groans of john hall's praying, but starving, mother; the prayer of president garfield's mother at the washtub when her boy was lost in the forest; the silent wish of carey, the pioneer missionary; john daniel loest's prayer for money to pay his mortgage the next day; spurgeon's prayer for his pastors' college in dire need; moody's prayer for the establishment of a bible school in northfield; luther's prayer for melancthon; halderman's prayer, in the fulton street daily prayer meeting, for the lost ship _leviathan_; the petition of the mother of doctor talmage, asking that her son be made to decide at that moment to come home; miss lyon's prayer in the field for a seminary for women; and the prayer of the dock child of stockton who claimed that god had told him "in his heart" that his sister would immediately recover. to these may be added an almost innumerable number of cases where the prayers brought direct results, although there was no attempt to use any special form of words. this principle or truth is probably accepted by all thinking worshipers, including most extreme ritualists. as, however, true prayer requires a devotional state of mind there can be no denial of the statement that the forms, ceremonials, scenic effects, and processions of the different creeds and races have a most potent effect on the devotional natures of their supporters. whatever awakens a spirit of devotion is more or less useful; but when a strong desire for communion with god has been aroused by music, exhortation, processions, or scenery the most effective method appears to be to then leave each soul alone with god in silent prayer. "resting in christ" has a meaning to the devout which no other can understand. love only can understand love. to be "alone with the loved one" is ever a holy and soul-brightening experience. but to be "alone with god" is, by far, the most holy of all emotions. the testimony of nearly all those at the baptist temple who report an answer to prayer, mention the fact that their prayers seemed to be the most productive of results when offered in the silent moments at the close of some inspiring service. it is clearly impossible for one finite mind to shape a petition which will include and express all the desires of the multitude. neither can an uninspired writer in one age fully appreciate and comprehend the conditions and needs of another age. hence, while the petitions of friends, priests, or pastors have a strong influence with the creator, the one vital necessity in making acceptable appeals to god is that each petitioner should ask for himself. no character can be changed from the outside. no wicked heart can be made pure without its own consent, and the lord seems to have limited himself so that he never crosses the threshold of the soul unless he is sincerely invited by that individual householder. god does not convert any soul by force. therefore, all who would be blessed by him must voluntarily and individually go to him. there can be no substitute in that case. even christ, a mediator, may take on himself our punishment, but he cannot do our praying for us. he makes intercession for us, but that is of no use without our co-operation. chapter vi use of the bible in prayer it will be useful to any seeker after god to examine the agencies which have helped those whose prayers have been conspicuously answered. among the many helps which, seemingly, have had especial potency in developing or awakening a devout spirit there is none so general in use as the bible. the petitions which have been preserved from the ancient fathers often quote the scriptures; and when they do not quote directly, the language used shows a close familiarity with the sacred word. the gospel truth is wonderfully condensed in this prayer of thomas à kempis: o, most merciful lord, grant me thy grace, that it may be with me, and labor within me, and persevere with me, even to the end. grant that i may always desire and will that which is to thee most acceptable, and most dear. let thy will be mine, and my will ever follow thine and agree perfectly with it. grant to me, above all things that can be desired, to rest in thee, and in thee to have my heart at peace. thou art the true peace of the heart, thou its only rest; out of thee all things are hard and restless. in this very peace, that is, in thee the one chiefest eternal good, i will sleep and rest. amen. the following prayer by st. augustine is a good example of the influence of the bible on the trend of his thought: o, thou full of compassion, i commit and commend myself unto thee, in whom i am, and live, and know. be thou the goal of my pilgrimage, and my rest by the way. let my soul take refuge from the crowding turmoil of worldly thoughts beneath the shadow of thy wings; let my heart, this sea of restless waves, find peace in thee, o god. thou bounteous giver of all good gifts, give to him who is weary refreshing food; gather our distracted thoughts and powers into harmony again; and set the prisoner free. see, he stands at thy door and knocks; be it opened to him, that he may enter with a free step, and be quickened by thee. for thou art the wellspring of life, the light of eternal brightness, wherein the just live who love thee. be it unto me according to thy word. amen. when looking outside of the local list of petitioners to which this volume is so closely confined it can be seen clearly that those whose petitions were the most surely answered were familiar with the bible. it is also interesting to notice the quotations which were used as mottoes or the favorite extracts from the bible by the most saintly of the heroes, martyrs, and victors in the christian church. out of many hundreds of scripture quotations the following are selected with the hope that some one of them may be of especial helpfulness to some one who desires to pray successfully: hear me when i call, o god of my righteousness; thou hast enlarged me when i was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer (psalm iv: ). my voice shalt thou hear in the morning, o lord; in the morning will i direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up (psalm v: ). the lord hath heard my supplication; the lord will receive my prayer (psalm vi: ). give ear to my prayer, o god; and hide not thyself from my supplication (psalm lv: ). let my prayer be set forth before thee as incense; and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice (psalm cxli: ). i exhort, therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men (tim. ii: ). for the eyes of the lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers; but the face of the lord is against them that do evil (i peter iii: ). and it came to pass, as she continued praying before the lord, that eli marked her mouth (i sam. i: ). yet have thou respect unto the prayer of thy servant, and to his supplication, o lord my god, to hearken unto the cry and to the prayer, which thy servant prayeth before thee to-day (i kings viii: ). and whiles i was speaking, and praying, and confessing my sin and the sin of my people israel, and presenting my supplication before the lord my god for the holy mountain of my god; yea, whiles i was speaking in prayer, even the man gabriel, whom i had seen in the vision at the beginning, being caused to fly swiftly, touched me about the time of the evening oblation (dan. ix: - ). and when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any; that your father, also which is in heaven, may forgive you your trespasses (mark xi: ). and the whole multitude of the people were praying without at the time of incense (luke i: ). now when all the people were baptized, it came to pass that jesus also being baptized, and praying, the heaven opened (luke iii: ). and it came to pass, as he was alone praying, his disciples were with him (luke ix: ). i was in a city of joppa praying: and in a trance i saw a vision, a certain vessel descend, as it had been a great sheet, let down from heaven by four corners; and it came even to me (acts xii: ). i will pray with the spirit, and i will pray with the understanding also; i will sing with the spirit, and i will sing with the understanding also (i cor. xiv: ). praying always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication (eph. vi: ). night and day praying exceedingly that we might see your face, and might perfect that which is lacking in your faith (i thes. iii: ). and hearken thou to the supplication of thy servant, and of thy people israel, when they shall pray toward this place: and hear thou in heaven thy dwelling place: and when thou hearest, forgive (i kings viii: ). nevertheless, we made our prayer unto our god, and set a watch against them day and night, because of them (neh. iv: ). thou shalt make thy prayer unto him, and he shall hear thee, and thou shalt pay thy vows (job xxii: ). he will regard the prayer of the destitute, and not despise their prayer (psalm cii: ). the sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the lord; but the prayer of the upright is his delight (prov. xv: ). and i set my face unto the lord god, to seek by prayer and supplications, with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes.... (dan. ix: ). ... and nothing shall be impossible unto you. howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting (matt. xvii: ). but we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word (acts vi: ). and on the sabbath we went out of the city by a river side, where prayer was wont to be made; and we sat down, and spake unto the women which resorted thither (acts xvi: ). be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto god. and the peace of god, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through christ jesus (phil. iv: - ). and the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him (james v: ). confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much (james v: ). ... be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer (i peter iv: ). then what prayer or what supplication soever shall be made of any man, or of all thy people israel, when every one shall know his own sore and his own grief, and shall spread forth his hands in this house; then hear thou from heaven thy dwelling place, and forgive, and render unto every man according unto all his ways, whose heart thou knowest (for thou only knowest the hearts of the children of men....) (ii chron. vi: - ). and at midnight paul and silas prayed, and sang praises unto god; and the prisoners heard them (acts xvi: ). and when he had sent the multitude away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray (matt. xiv: ). then cometh jesus with them unto a place called gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, sit ye here, while i go and pray yonder (matt. xxvi: ). watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak (matt. xxvi: ). thinkest thou that i cannot now pray to my father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels (matt. xxvi: ). therefore i say unto you, what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them (mark xi: ). and he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint (luke xviii: ). i pray for them: i pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine. i pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. neither pray i for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word.... (st. john xvii: , , ). likewise the spirit also helpeth our infirmities; for we know not what we should pray for as we ought; but the spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered (rom. viii: ). pray without ceasing (i thess. v: ). and the very god of peace sanctify you wholly; and i pray god your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our lord jesus christ (thess. v: ). wherefore also we pray always for you, that our god would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power (ii thess. i: ). that christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height.... (eph. iii: - ). and whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things which are pleasing in his sight (i john iii: ). and this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us; and if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him (ii john v: - ). but i know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of god, god will give it thee (st. john xi: ). and whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will i do, that the father may be glorified in the son (st. john xiv: ). if ye shall ask any thing in my name, i will do it (st. john xiv: ). if ye love me, keep my commandments (st. john xiv: ). if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of god, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. but let him ask in faith, nothing wavering (james i: - ). ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss.... (james iv: ). there hath no temptation taken you but such is common to man: but god is faithful who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it (i cor. x: ). now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy (jude i: ). but when ye pray, use not vain repetition, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. be not ye therefore like unto them; for your father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him. after this manner therefore pray ye: our father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. thy kingdom come. thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. give us this day our daily bread. and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil; for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever, amen (matt. vi: - ). trust in the lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed (psalm xxxvii: ). commit thy way unto the lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass (psalm xxxvii: ). rest in the lord, and wait patiently for him.... (psalm xxxvii: ). the lord is my shepherd; i shall not want (psalm xxiii: ). yea, though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (psalm xxiii: ). chapter vii conclusions as one lays aside the last letter of this collection and leans back in his chair for meditation on all these heart revelations he asks, most anxiously, what is the conclusion of the whole matter? thanks be unto god who giveth us the victory, our faith remains unmoved. a general view of the field of prayer shows that the great fundamental facts remain undisturbed. god is. god answers prayer. the bible is the inspired work of the spirit of god. jesus is the son of god. the christ is the saviour of a sinful world. "i know that my redeemer liveth!" entering upon this investigation with a firm determination to hold an unbiased mind and trying to examine the evidence as an impartial judge there were moments of doubt as to the wisdom of setting one's mind so free. it seemed sometimes as if it was wrong, even for a day, to stand outside of the circle of earnest believers and be a neutral critic of sacred things. but the risk was taken. a tremor came with the suggestion that the lovely structure of our lifelong faith might be shattered, and only dust be left of the religious building which we had so fondly believed was a building that had indestructible foundations, "eternal in the heavens." but not one pillar has moved, not a rent or seam in any of the old walls has appeared. the fear that faith might be lost has increased our estimate of its everlasting value. the faith of our fathers stands secure. the testimony of unbalanced minds to the sonship of christ did not defeat the saviour in his day, and they cannot do so now. the mistakes, errors, and superstitions of the extremists and deceivers have not made more than a ripple in the current of christian faith. the tide comes back. the love for the holy bible revives. the prodigal will come to himself and come back. the spirit of the christian religion is a necessity to human progress and human happiness. the world needs it. it may come slowly, but, nevertheless, it will come surely. the spirit will awaken. the winter cannot last forever. prayer is as necessary to the spirit of man as breath is to his body. the soul's sincere desire will ever seek expression. the seeker after god will surely find him when he shall truly seek him with all his heart. hundreds testified to the facts that their prayers were answered where only a score or less asserted that they did not know whether their requests were heard or not. the millions who never tried to pray cannot be accepted as witnesses on either side. but the great majority of those who have tried the matter testify to its effectiveness. the doubters, who quibble and stumble over the parables and miracles, find that whether the believer accepted them as literal history or as spiritual illustrations, they all teach the truth; and to believe in them can do no harm. the consensus of religious opinion among the common people is decidedly in favor of trusting more and, consequently, doubting less. "we will be no more children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine by the slight of men and cunning craftiness." we have put away childish things and here we stand, men and women, saved by grace, and "who can separate us from the love of christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or peril, or sword? i am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, not things to come, not height, not depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of god which is in christ jesus our lord." right is right, since god is god, and right the day will win; to doubt would be disloyalty, to falter would be sin. ye saints, with your faith of steel, pray on. ye faltering sinners, smite your breast and pray on. ye doubtful critics, pray on. ye sorrow-stricken ones, pray on. in due time every petitioner shall reap if he or she faints not. oh, the rest, the peace, the joy of this settled conviction, that the faith in the messiahship of jesus christ need be no more disturbed! "now unto him that is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise god, our saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. amen." the end transcriber's notes . this volume is continuation of the preceding two: health, healing and faith and praying for money. . the troublesome subject/verb agreement in chapter i has been retained as in the original ("such servants of god can offer prayer which avail much more than the frightened call of the worldly minded..."). . preposition "in" was added in chapter vi ("...and in thee to have my heart at peace"). health, healing, _and_ faith effect of environment how a church was built by prayer healing the sick prayer for the home prayer and the bible _by_ russell h. conwell volume national extension university fifth avenue, new york effective prayer ---- copyright, , by harper & brothers printed in the united states of america foreword that prayers are answered nearly all the human race believe. but the subject has been beclouded and often made ridiculous by inconsistent superstitions. this book is a modest attempt to clear up some of the errors. its record is as accurate as impartial observation can make it. god is not bribed. laziness cannot bargain with him. but the prayers of the righteous and of repentant sinners availeth much. desired ends are gained by prayer which cannot be gained by any other method. the daily experiences of devout persons establish that fact conclusively. the reasons and the methods which produce the results seem hidden, and they often bewilder the investigator. god's thoughts are far above our thoughts. but we can trust our daily experience far enough to retain our confidence in the potency of prayer. it is, therefore, a profitable and comforting study. russell h. conwell. effective prayer chapter i effect of environment the fascinating history of events connected with the baptist temple, philadelphia, through thirty-nine years must be recorded carefully to obtain the credence of those readers who live out of the locality. it may or may not be that the unusual demonstrations of power, seemingly divine, were not incited or influenced by the special environment. yet the critical reader may reasonably inquire where these things occurred in order to determine the power of association on the form and effect of prayer. the baptist temple is a somewhat imposing building on the corner of north broad and berks streets in philadelphia. it is located almost at the geographical center of philadelphia, and eighteen squares north of the city hall. the temple is architecturally very plain, and the beautiful stained-glass windows are about the only ornaments in the great hall save, of course, the pipes of the great organ. the church is one hundred and seven feet front, and is one hundred and fifty feet in length. there is a deep gallery occupying three sides, with a chorus gallery, back of the pulpit, seating one hundred and fifty singers. there are three thousand and thirty-four opera chairs arranged in a semicircle, and every person in the congregation can see clearly the platform and chorus, and each normal worshiper can be heard from the pulpit. the building itself is a testimonial to the effectiveness of sincere prayer. the temple and the halls in the lower story, as it now stands, are far beyond the dreams of that little company of earnest worshipers who, in , hesitatingly and embarrassed, began to build the small church at the corner of berks and mervine streets. they had no wealthy or influential friends. they had but little money or property; they could pray, and that they did do unceasingly. any man who tries to describe or explain fully how it came about that the temple was built becomes bewildered in the complications, unless he covers the whole question by saying, "the lord did it." in six years after the small church was completed the temple was begun on broad street. for seven or eight years after its construction the temple was a christian mecca to which pilgrims seemed to come from all parts of the earth to kneel there in prayer. one good friday night, which was observed quite generally as a season of fasting and prayer, the writer entered by the side door the temple at two o'clock in the morning, and in the dim light of two small gas jets, always left burning, he saw scores of people scattered through the church. why that church had such a fascination for or preference with earnest seekers for the prayer-answering god none may explain. all were kneeling separately in silent prayer. as they passed in and out there were in the line, going and coming, chinamen, europeans, orientals, and americans from distant states. different denominations, protestant, catholic, jew, colored and white, were often represented among the individual worshipers. they also came any night in the week at any hour and prayed silently for a while and then went silently out. the church was not locked, night or day, for fifteen years. people sought the place when they sought to find a locality which was especially near to the lord. it may be that any place is as near to god as any other; and many think it only a sentiment, superstitious and foolish, to esteem one place above another in matters of effective prayer. but there does stand out the fact that, for some good reason, our saviour did choose to pray in special localities, and his devout followers do now feel more deeply the soul's communion with god in certain favorable places. why the baptist temple had such worship as a sentimental matter brings forward the facts that the graves of the loved, the home of childhood, the trysting places, the old fireplace, or the churches where sainted parents worshiped are influential because of the suggestions which come with sacred memories. that fact is a strong agency in the awakening of tender and sacred emotions. but the baptist temple was new and could lay claim to none of those associations. men and women with no religious habits, and some seemingly without devout inclinations, testified decidedly that whenever they visited the building they felt that they had entered into an atmosphere of special spiritual and sacred power. one soldier of the english army wrote an interesting letter in , saying: "i do not recall any such impression before. i went into the church alone out of curiosity to look at its architectural design. but the moment i entered the side aisle i felt an indescribable pressure which made me desire to pray. i hurried out to the street to escape the solemn impression. but twice since then i have been in the auditorium and each time some power seemed pressing me down to my knees." whether that influence was the act of the holy ghost or not cannot be proven by any known formula of human reasoning, and hence it remains, as most of such questions do, a matter of faith. some believe it was a divine presence which made itself felt there, and other good men do not believe the conditions were in any way unusual or unnatural. so many persons with uncontrolled imaginations, and others with their mental faculties weakened or distorted, often reported the most improbable visions and absurd revelations. such characters, half insane or wholly deranged, testified in favor of jesus to his face, and such have ever been present since in every genuinely spiritual movement. they would do less harm, of course, if they should declaim against him. so it was, and is, at the baptist temple. those inconsistent, deranged advocates of religion did often drive away permanently into the ranks of unbelievers the most sincere investigators. but a calm review of the testimonies concerning the occurrences which followed so clearly the petitions they offered in the temple seems overwhelmingly to establish the claim, now held by so many thousand people, that the results of the prayers were but a cause and natural effect, as the prayers and results were infallibly related. it is not claimed here, however, that the place had more influence with man or christ than other places have had, or that any church or cathedral may be as sacred as gethsemane or as the mount of transfiguration. the plain facts are recorded here with great caution and with a determination to keep conservatively within the truth and draw no unreasonable conclusions. it is a true statement, known to all the community, that many thousands of people have sought to pray in the temple, believing that the boon their hearts desired would be more sure to be sent if they asked for it within the temple walls. many persons have attended the church services on the sabbath who have been so deep in prayer that they were unconscious of the music or the preaching. we must reassert that this fact is not recorded here to sustain any idea that the temple is a sacred place above many other churches, cathedrals, and holy places, but to sustain the opinion that there are places more sacred than others to certain people, and that burdened hearts and minds would act wisely if they sought some such place when the answer to their prayer seems especially vital. chapter ii how a church was built by prayer in the small church at mervine and berks streets in the northern section of philadelphia was crowded at every service. children were turned away from every session of the bible school, and tickets were issued a week in advance for the preaching services. the idea of moving to some larger place was discussed, as it was impossible to enlarge the building where it stood, because of the streets on three sides. under those circumstances the people began to pray. a voluntary committee canvassed the small band of church members, asking each to pray for an opening to a larger work. it is often thought to be an easy thing to promise to pray for a person or for a cause. the promise to pray is too often made carelessly, and disinterested auditors often feel relieved of all responsibility when, instead of a collection, they are let off with a request to pray for the advocated cause. but a sincere promise to pray for a cause carries with it the sincere purpose to work and to give self-sacrificingly. to say, "we do not ask for your money, but only that you pray for us," is a half-hypocritical request, because a real prayer can ascend only from a soul intent on doing. to agree to pray is a hearty promise also to do all in one's power to work with the lord. only the hearty worker can really pray. "the people had a mind to work," said nehemiah, and god, seeing their zeal, responded to their appeal. the lord answered in a way absolutely unforeseen. the salvation of the world cost a great sacrifice, and everywhere we see the results of a mysterious law that some must die that others may live, and that real happiness is ever gained at the cost of suffering. a little child in philadelphia opened the gates of the temple by going down through death. she had been unable to get into the overcrowded bible school one sunday, and she began to save her pennies to help secure some larger place. little hattie may wyatt, living in a home near the church, was chosen of god to convey his answer to the pleadings of that church. how little could the afflicted parents realize what a great work their sweet, prattling hattie was to do in her short life. when the sweet, pale face lay in the coffin amid the flowers and tears, her pocketbook, containing fifty-seven cents which she had saved, was handed to the minister. she was the messenger of christ on earth before she became one in heaven! that fifty-seven cents was a sacred treasure, and at the next church meeting prayers went up to god, asking direction how to invest the first gift toward the larger accommodations. providentially, the subject of the scripture text was the narrative of the little child with his five barley loaves and two little fishes (john vi). what can christ do with the gift of a little child? what can the spirit of god do with the seed of an oak? one patriarch led in prayer and earnestly asked the lord to "take these few pennies and build for us a temple." there were some in the assembly who, like the disciples at galilee, said, "what can this little supply do among so many?" but the most part seemed inspired by the holy spirit with a faith that was immovable. the lord then put a thought into the mind of mr. john baer, who owned a lot of land on the corner of broad and berks streets, to suggest to a member of the church that, as the people needed larger quarters, they ought to buy his lot and erect there a larger church. mr. baer did not know then that the church had only fifty-seven cents and that the church building they then occupied was still heavily mortgaged. another church member heard of mr. baer's remark and, with the assurance of a faith unshakable, told mr. baer that if he would take fifty-seven cents as the first payment he felt sure the church would purchase it. mr. baer (a devout man) said that he would cheerfully accept the terms and that he would also not only give back the fifty-seven cents, but would contribute one thousand dollars toward the first payment on the lot. the church then purchased the lot and held another prayer meeting to determine the second time what to do with the wyatt fifty-seven cents. it was unanimously decided to organize a "wyatt mite society" to invest the money. there were to be fifty-seven children in the society, and each was to invest one of the pennies so as to secure the largest possible amount for the new church. it seems almost miraculous that wherever a child tried to sell the penny not one would buy it after hearing the story, but nearly all did give a liberal donation. one lady gave fifteen hundred dollars. finally, the pennies all came back, were put in a coin frame, and kept as a sacred souvenir. then joyful enthusiasm seized upon the people and hurried them along in many different enterprises for raising money. one sabbath the pastor was overpersuaded to exchange with doctor pierce of mount holly, and the joyful people presented the pastor, on his return, with a subscription list of ten thousand dollars. but to that account the practical and critical business man can answer that in any enterprise enthusiasm, hard work, and economy secure success almost invariably. so that even the matter of raising one hundred and nine thousand dollars by a people, all poor, industrious persons, may not be absolutely convincing to the skeptic who questions the personal interference of god in answer to the call of his children. but there was another phase of the history of that campaign which seems to be absolutely unaccountable on any other hypothesis but the direct and special interference of superhuman intelligence. the number seven! it is called "a sacred number"; but why it has been credited with its peculiar significance is, perhaps, the effect of its mention so often in the bible. the various theories, reasonable and fanciful, for the sacredness of the number seven need not be rehearsed in a record of simple facts like these which this account preserves. but the daily appearance of the number seven in the evangelistic history of the grace church through the five years and two months before the large temple was completed has never been explained by any solution other than by accrediting it to some power or law above the normal. the "five years' meetings" were only the usual meetings of the small church and no evangelistic or unusual endeavors were used, nor were any special methods tried. evangelists of noted power sometimes addressed the church or gave sermons at the church in connection with some convention or association, but none of those instrumentalities seemed to affect the answers to the prayers of the people. the church sessions were simple, practical, social, and fully democratic. but the prayers were full of faith and feeling and were brief and direct. one evening, in a meeting held in a small basement room, there were seven young people, strangers to one another, who stood up at the invitation to confess christ. each one stated that he had come under a strange and irresistible impulse unaccountable to him. each asked the people to pray for his soul. that was the opening of the continuous stream of seven new converts each week for five years. that repetition of the number seven was not especially noticed until it had been repeated through several weeks. then the people began to expect it, and during the active enterprises connected with the building of the new temple it had a powerful effect on the courage and faith of that small company. as the years came and went with no change in that weekly number of fresh seekers after god, a feeling of awe held the worshipers to such an extent that when the seventh man or woman arose to come forward a deep sigh passed through the congregation. sometimes the leader of the meeting paused or asked for "the hesitating one" if the full number did not at first appear. but there was no prearrangement and no attempt or purpose to cease giving the invitation to confess christ after the number seven had been reached. the church was too deeply impressed with the seeming miracle to undertake any experiments with it. continual prayer was all that was attempted. people ceased to ask their acquaintances to come to the meetings, and the usual revival methods were omitted. real prayer, sincere singing, and a short comment on some verse of scripture made up the usual order of services, aside from the regular preaching on sunday. various explanations of this mysterious and systematic manifestation of some hidden spiritual force have been advanced by students of the unusual occurrence. some undevout friends have rested satisfied with the belief that it was only a coincidence or an accidental repetition of a natural phenomenon. the skeptic said that there was no mystery about it, as it merely "happened so." others, more devout, declared that the people must have habitually "let go of their faith" when seven appeared, and that according to their faith "was the limitation of the numbers." others believed that it must have been, consciously or unconsciously, arranged by persons managing the meeting, and not a few outsiders regarded the statement of the facts as a clear falsehood. they said it could not have been possible, and that there was surely some deception in the arrangements or reports. but the hundreds of intelligent and conscientious people who were present week after week became fully satisfied that it was the work of the divine spirit sent in answer to their prayers. some of the circumstances connected with that large accession to the church will be of interest to the student. during the years when the building was being constructed many simple schemes were devised by the people to raise money for the work. but prayer was a part of every endeavor. fairs, suppers, and concerts were often used to raise funds, and, although a worldly spirit often creeps into church entertainments, there came there a devotional spirit which seemed to transfigure every work. the devotional meetings held in a side hall when the church fairs were going on at the academy of music in philadelphia ever had the same startling result--the unchangeable number, seven, came out for christ. one evening a specially large number of citizens were at a dinner given to arrange plans for securing the money for the first payment to the contractor who was laying the foundation for the temple. a visitor, in his speech, said that he had been more interested in the "steady revival," of which he had heard, than in the feast, and that he was quite disappointed to learn that for the first time in three years the church had omitted its weekly prayer meeting to give place to a dinner. thereupon, deacon stoddard, a devout man and full of the holy ghost, arose and suggested that before the guests left the table the presiding officer should give the usual invitation for anyone to arise and declare his decision to follow christ. after several eloquent and entertaining speeches on general topics the invitation was given for the religious confession, and, to the amazement of many, just seven young men arose. a deep, spiritual emotion filled the hearts of all present. in two or three instances the number was less than seven who responded before the benediction was pronounced, and some said, "the spell is broken." but in all cases another seeker after god appeared before the people left the room. men, in those cases, rushed to the platform and called for the attention of the company to say that they dared not go home without openly confessing before the people their need of the saviour. in several instances persons were too much overcome or too timid to stand out before a public meeting, and they persuaded some one sitting near them to get up and ask prayers for them. but there was no prolongation of any service and no outlay of money for exhorters or singers. naturally that remarkable condition attracted a throng of people, and before the temple was opened the church and sunday-school rooms at mervine and berks streets were crowded beyond endurance. at the first great prayer meeting held in the temple when the call was made for converts the number who came forward was seventy-seven. from that time ( ) there has been no resumption of a regular number of seekers. often the number seven, seventy-seven, forty-nine, and seventy appear in the number of those who arose for prayer or in the list of those who were received at the same time into the church. at one easter service two hundred and seventy-seven were baptized. but those "five years' revivals" stand out as five most beautiful years in the memory of the thousands still living who recall them. all of that company of believers prayed, and on those stormy days when the curious crowd were kept away the people drew together in sincere devotion, and the most dreary days without were the most happy within. god seemed more reachable and the domestic sweetness of the church home was much more fully appreciated when the snow shadowed the panes, when the wild storms beat on the doors, and when only earnest worshipers ventured out to church. for more than fifteen years three thousand tickets of admission to the regular church services were taken up several days in advance, and when a very stormy day kept many ticket holders away special and repeated prayer was made especially for them. the effect of those stormy days of special prayer was one of the most remarkable experiences of the church life. letters came in great numbers from different parts of the world, saying that they missed the services, but felt decidedly impressed to send for some needed information or for special religious advice. many cathedrals, churches, homes, and charity halls have been built on prayer and faith, so that the construction of the baptist temple, on a prominent corner of philadelphia's widest street, in the heart of the city, by a few poor people, may not seem strange. yet the fact that god has prospered other enterprises is only a confirmation of the theory that god answered the prayers of grace church in giving providential assistance in the construction of the temple. when the church voted to go on and pay for the lot and build a church to seat over three thousand in the upper auditorium and two thousand in the lower hall, there was no money in hand or pledged. yet there was no recklessness, no tempting god in their faith. when the contracts were entered into with the builder, or the furniture manufacturer, provision was made carefully for any contingency. if for any unforeseen reason the great building had been unfinished at any stage of construction all bills would have been paid. but each advance in the work was made after special prayer over each division of the building enterprise. the foundation was constructed after special prayer, then came the walls, the roof, the carpenter's inside work, the painting, the furniture, and the organ--each being the object of prayerful consideration. there were a few instances, however, which are worthy of special mention. there was a point when the contract for the stone for the walls was held up by the quarry proprietors, as they feared to venture on so large a job with no guaranty but a mechanic's right of lien. at that time a new savings bank was opened at columbia avenue, two squares from the temple, and president cummings, head of the bank, offered to assist the church in any safe way. how he came to know of the proposed work, or what special reason he had for helping a people with whom he was not personally acquainted, was never explained. but he was a noble citizen. his influence was itself a powerful aid in all the business of the church. one day a stranger (general wagner, president of the third national bank) was driving by the half-constructed church when an "impulse" seized him to go into the building under construction. he was a presbyterian elder and a stranger to all the members of grace church. he was a great man of business, a person of unflinching integrity whose coolness in emergencies and whose conservative management of financial institutions made him a trusted authority for private, for city, or for national finances. in a few words of conversation with the contractor in the building general wagner was told that the church was being built "by faith in prayer." he told general wagner that thus far "every payment had been made promptly, with nothing left over." from that hour the general was a strong, unmovable friend and backer of the temple enterprise. the tenth national bank and its offspring, the columbia trust company, and the third national bank, of which general wagner was president, were ever safely used as a reference, and often tens of thousands of dollars were loaned by them to the church for short periods. the trustees and the deacons of the church were prayerful men of stable common sense and successful in their own labor or business. there was no foolish overpiousness, no loud professions of religious fervor, but a determined trust in god's promise to heed the call of those who loved him. mr. john little, a quaker by inheritance and training, was a leading mind in the affairs of the church and was for many years the treasurer of the temple university. he was a quiet, keenly modest man, but living a transparent truthfulness and honesty which commanded the confidence of all who knew him and secured for him a love that can never die. he said that he had two special places for prayer, one being in the temple and the other on the street. mr. charles f. stone (whose wife, mrs. maria l. stone, continued his work after he died) was the treasurer of the church at the critical period and was a man endowed with excellent business ability and a devout man full of good works. he, too, had a "good name" which was rather to be chosen as a financial recommendation than great riches. these men are not mentioned because of their special claim to attention above the others associated with them, but simply as two specimens of the prayer-making company who moved on unhesitatingly, yet carefully, in doing the thing which many declared could not be done. the weekly reports from the committees and individuals showing how god had raised up, unexpectedly or strangely, friends of the undertaking, often caused a deep feeling of awe and sent the people out with fresh determination to work cheerfully on. a single instance of the many hundreds reported will probably answer the inquiries of others now engaged in some like work. looking back upon the incident after thirty years the plan or the purpose of the divine leadership, so hidden then, becomes reasonable and clear. why the lord wished to use only three hundred men out of gideon's great army was not understood at the time, but all can see now that the purpose was to bring the lord's hand into vision and win for him the recognition which would have gone to the human army. only once did the people of the temple falter and their prayers seem ineffective. only once did those philadelphia worshipers limit their faith. but that one period of doubt came when the question was suddenly thrust before the church whether they would try to put in a suitable church organ. many claimed that they had reached the utmost limit of sacrifice. some said that the church ought to be fully satisfied if they could buy seats for the first services. others strongly declared that after all the asking of god and man for aid to build the temple they could not expect either god or man to help them to buy an unnecessary organ. through thirty-eight years the church has never had any quarrel to settle in all its history, and that division of opinion did not assume an angry or excited phase. it was simply a feeling in some of the people that the lord had done wonders and that, now that the church was out of the wilderness, it was full time to let the people and god's providence rest. when the question arose whether the church should venture to purchase a suitable church organ it was decided by a large majority that it could not be undertaken. the small minority were gideon's three hundred. one member of that small body asked the church for the privilege of putting in the organ, "if he could raise all of the ten thousand dollars needed without asking a contribution from anyone who had already given or subscribed toward the building." even that conservative offer was accepted by a reluctant and small majority. then that member began a downright, heart-stretching wrestle with the angel of god. he spent two successive nights in the temple in hard and tearful prayer. he had nothing to give. he must secure the whole from others. he pleaded with god to let him work with him in awakening the hearts of possible givers. but the lord was not willing to give to man the major part of the glory of success. the murmuring people must be made ashamed of their lack of faith in the lord who had safely led them thus far. the contract for the organ was made with a company whose agent said they usually sold their organs on faith, but that churches always paid the cost and often paid in advance of the date when the notes matured. the purchaser of the temple organ did not feel authorized to put in the organ with no money in hand, at least for the first installment on the price to be paid. but all the men he approached refused to give because it was "overdoing it," and was "too improbable" for credence or assistance. but the purchaser did not waver. the time set for the payment of the first fifteen hundred dollars came. the note the purchaser gave was due on monday. the debtor had asked the sunday-morning prayer meeting to remember him especially "on the morrow." he had until three o'clock monday to raise the money to save his note from protest. he had written to a relative to ask for a loan of fifteen hundred dollars, but the letter had not been sent to the mail box. when he entered his room just before church services a working girl who was a member of the church came quietly to his door and handed him a letter in which, when he opened it, he found a check for fifteen hundred dollars. the letter and check were signed by a laboring man in massilon, ohio, who wrote that he had not been asked to give anything, but he had heard that the church "hoped soon to get an organ." he felt impressed to send this check and to ask the church to accept it on the condition that, should he ever be reduced to actual need, the church should endeavor to aid him in some way. the second payment due came as an unexpected draft from boston for five hundred dollars, which must be honored or refused within three days. but in the same mail with the notice of the draft came two money orders from the executor of an estate in california, saying that the deceased testator had left the distribution of certain sums to the discretion of the executor and he had decided to send five hundred dollars toward "the music in the new temple." the third payment was met by funds raised by solicitation, about which there seemed to be nothing remarkable. other payments were made by gifts clearly sent in connection with the appeal of the believer, but the last payment was the most unaccountable of all. three one-hundred-dollar bills were pushed under the door of the church study by some one never discovered, and a certificate of mining stock worth seven hundred dollars was sent from butte, montana, without other signature except that on the face of the certificate. the blank for the purchaser of the stock was blank. public efforts were made to find the givers, but without success. well might the people feel that the voice of the organ was the voice of the saviour. when the organ was dedicated and dr. d. d. wood led the devotion with inspired fingers and sightless eyes the church's congregation was a beautiful sight--like a sea sparkling with tears. when the great chorus was singing the hymn, "god moves in a mysterious way his wonders to perform," a large number of the singers were so choked with emotion that they ceased to sing and doctor wood said the event was one of the most thrilling in all his experiences with choirs. these are "the simple annals of the poor," but they illustrate and inculcate great principles which are applicable to any work for the lord. chapter iii healing the sick the health and happiness of mankind depend in a great degree on faith. every emotion of the body and every action of the mind is an exhibition of faith. persons who believe they are well, even if they are ill, will soon recover, and persons who believe that they will not be sick are seldom ill. there is no department of human life so dependent on belief as that connected with health. millions would arise, take up their couches and walk, if they could be made to believe that they could do so. to believe a falsehood has cured many people, and consciences waver between the duty to tell a patient the clear truth when he is very ill and to make him believe a lie in order that he may get well. it must also be stated, in fidelity to the truth, that the subject of healing by faith has called out a host of the half-insane classes who proclaim with trumpet tones some cases of divine healing which are unworthy of a moment's consideration. hence, out of a collection of possibly sincere letters, many have been rejected altogether as foolish or misleading. eleven hundred written testimonies to cases of healing in direct answer to prayer at the baptist temple have been carefully examined and the trustworthy testimonies tabulated. those "years of healing" to which reference is so often made were years of prayer and years of faith. after deducting all the questionable cases, and after a wide allowance for the naturally health-giving and health-preserving power, the normal human belief is that there remains an overwhelmingly convincing amount of evidence that healing is directly brought about by sincere prayer. through several years cases were reported to the church or pastors which convinced all who knew the people and the circumstances that some intelligent power, higher than human knowledge, had interfered to heal the sick. but when the knowledge of those trustworthy cases came to be known, and especially when they had awakened much excited comment, then the "cranks" and monomaniacs crowded to the front and vociferously proclaimed the most absurd miracles, to the disgust of reasonable men and women and greatly to the damage of the beneficent work. sometimes all references to healing were omitted in the pulpit and shut out from the meetings for prayer until the wild advocates of divine healing settled down and dispassionate views could be taken. many intelligent devout men repudiated the whole experiment, believing that the excitement over it was doing much more harm than good. but the larger part who saw the people who had been cured by the unexplainable means were steadfast and went on sincerely thanking god for his wonderful works among the children of men. a digest of the written testimonies showed that cataracts had unrolled without the touch of a surgeon's knife, although the greatest number of the restoration of sight to the blind were with the aid of apparent means. the methods by which the lord restored their sight did not make their gratitude to him for restoration any the less commendable. mysterious and evidently dangerous internal tumors disappeared slowly or suddenly in a manner unexplainable by the most learned physicians. by far the greatest number of the eleven hundred cases selected for consideration out of the multitude of testimonies were cases in some way directly connected with the nervous system. patients long confined in an insane asylum were brought home and cured of what had been considered hopeless insanity. there were many cases of various forms of brain diseases, while in all these cases a specially conservative examiner could declare that they might have been cured by the special or wise treatment. yet, even if such were the case, the devout man who prayed may claim that the treatment was only a part of god's healing plan. it was often declared publicly and without any contradiction that for long seasons there was not one person ill in bed in the more than one thousand homes represented in the membership of the church worshiping in the temple. usually health reigned in the entire church, and it was reasonably claimed that in five years more than six hundred cases of lung and throat trouble were permanently healed. epidemics afflicted the city, and, quoting doctor haehnlen, it was declared that "the angel of death had passed over the congregation, taking none." of course the people believed that if they went to the temple to pray for the recovery of their friends they would surely be favorably answered. many have, however, written that if that condition of faith could be secured in the doctor, nurse, and family, that spirit of hope would be naturally aroused in the patient and aid greatly in the recovery. but the men who pray can say with greater confidence that in every case it was, at least, god working with man. at all events, the general health of the congregation must be far better than would have been the case with the same people if they had not gone to church and prayed. hundreds of men and women live on in health and vigor who were in that congregation at middle age thirty-five years ago. their strength "is not abated," although some of them were invalids thirty years ago. the healing force of a cheerful faith is everywhere acknowledged to be a health-preserving agency of vital importance in the establishment of public health. it is a vital necessity in thousands of individual cases. such a condition is probably often a gift of god--through the influence of his suggesting and soothing spirit. jesus healed many without resorting to miracles and seems to have resorted to the miraculous only to convince his hearers of his authority in divine matters. in some cases, as the woman who touched his garment, he claimed nothing for himself, but told her that her own faith had served her. even the most ultra-conservative critic at the temple who tried hard to see in these many cases of restoration only the "working out of some natural law" confessed that if his child was sick he "would not dare to omit praying" for its recovery. the conclusion of the whole matter is in the settled conviction in the minds of nearly all the worshipers at the temple that god does answer prayer for the sick. chapter iv prayer for the home one sunday evening at the usual services the invitation was given, as is customary, for such persons who especially desired to be mentioned in the daily prayers of the people to rise for a moment before the singing of the last hymn. the sermon had not mentioned the need of prayer and contained no special evangelistic appeal. the invitation was the customary proceeding throughout the year. the three thousand seats were all filled. the audience was composed, as usual, largely of men, and they were men of middle age. there were young people, representing both sexes, scattered through the audience, and lines of them along the back rows of seats in the distant gallery. no attempt was made to emphasize the ordinary invitation in any special manner. but when the solemn moment came for the prayer-seekers to rise the response was so general that the preacher asked those who had risen to remain standing until the pastors could see them and count them. there were over five hundred, and for a few weeks that was about the usual number of those who arose. but the preacher was especially startled by the fact which he had not especially noted on previous occasions, that the majority of those who asked for prayer were young people. the scene, when those youthful faces appeared on every side and in so large a congregation, filled the soul of the beholder with almost painful awe. it led the preacher to meditate a moment to ask christ and himself why so many young people took such a solemn, sincere interest in prayer at that time. the thought led him, before the benediction, to request all who had stood forth for prayer to write to him a personal and confidential letter explaining why they desired to be mentioned in the prayers of the christian people. the letters came the next week by the hundred. it was an astonishing revelation. the letters from unmarried people were culled out of the collection and reread at leisure. some of them were in need of higher wages; some were seeking for a personal religious awakening; some asked prayers for friends, for business, for safe journey, for health, or for other protection and relief. but out of two hundred and eighty-seven letters from those young people over two hundred mentioned, directly or indirectly, their strong desire for a husband, a wife, or a home. the details of lovers' quarrels were opened up, the anguish of broken engagements expressed on tear-stained sheets of note paper, and many doubtful lovers wished the lord would reveal to them whether their choice had been a wise one or whether their love was deep enough for such an extremely important matter as marriage. the letters revealed such a general longing for a home that one seldom realizes is really existent. there were a few letters from young college women and university men. but the greater portion were from working girls. they were the most touchingly sacred records of the everyday thoughts of young women, all sincerely and modestly expressed. when those young women saw some handsomely gowned wife pass her desk, her counter, her bench, or loom, leading a bright-faced little son, the working girl's soul uttered an unvoiced shriek for a home, for a noble husband's protection, and for children of her own. women waiters who daily fed the wives of wealthy merchants or of prosperous manufacturers wrote how terrible was the thought that they were going to be homeless and penniless in their old age--one great prayer going up to high heaven for holy domestic love and a place they could call "home." after that evening's call upon the seekers after god to rise the request for letters was repeated. the answers which came even into thousands revealed the general request for the leadership of the spirit of the all-wise god in directing the all-important affairs of the heart. some letters detailed the horrors of broken hearts; some revealed dark sins; and some told of betrayal or of base and traitorous ingratitude. but the majority were letters from lonely but upright women of high ideals and of noble, christian life. some of the communications were from conscientious young men asking god's help in deciding their choice or for the influence of god in their favor when their chosen one should make up her hesitating mind. some were calls for christ's forgiveness and for human advice in most complicated cases where the writer had been misunderstood or where he had thoughtlessly made a promise he must recall. all wanted a home. the honest souls standing out in the open before god, where the restraints of human custom and the reluctance of a pure modesty were, for the moment, overcome, wrote out the sincerest prayer of all. their soul's need was a home. of all the holy ambitions of a normal man or woman the purpose to have a home is the highest. a home on earth and a home in heaven constitute the soul's chiefest need. around that transfigured word gather all that is highest and purest in human thinking and all that is most sacred and heavenly in human feeling. in the beginning the almighty created man--"male and female created he them." the first home was in paradise. the last home will be there. he who has an income to maintain a house, who has an intelligent, unselfish wife, who can look about his table and see children with clear intellects and loving hearts, is conspicuously foolish if he does not see that he already has the best the world can give. she who can cast off all anxiety for maintenance and can devote herself to the care and training of her own little ones, and who can respect and deeply love her chosen mate, has god's best gifts already in her possession. gratitude to the heavenly father will lead such recipients of his richest bounty to forget not to aid those who have less. nothing on earth of wealth, applause, or mundane wisdom can equal, in the least measure, the temporal and eternal values of a real home. therefore it is wise and the mark of a godly character to pray heartily for a husband, or for a wife, or for children. a reasonable valuation of such domestic treasures makes a hideous crime of every violation of the laws and customs which make a loving home possible. profanity of speech, theft of money, or traitorous breaking of any other contract is a light sin compared with the brutal sins of the libertine or the unchastity of the woman who sells herself, or who, with evil intent, entices a man to home-breaking crime. so important is this matter that it is the fit subject for constant prayer for those who have not chosen to be a martyr or decided to give up all on earth for a home in heaven. and, even in the latter case, the call to take up any work inconsistent with the maintenance of a home should be overwhelmingly emphatic to command obedience. hence, those appeals to heaven for domestic rest of soul were all normal and all of supreme importance. when that great collection of letters were each answered the reply contained a counter-request for a report in due season which should state when and how the prayer for a home had been answered. those reports have also been carefully tabulated. but here again the critical adherent to the theory concerning the unchangeable laws of nature tries to escape any committal to religious dogmas by claiming that the mating instinct is an inborn sentiment common to fishes, beasts, and birds, and that mankind mates by accidental acquaintanceship or by the pressure of necessity or ungoverned passion. such arguments convince many people who deride the claim that "marriages are made in heaven." but after every such theory is suggested and analyzed, after every allowance for the outworking of "natural selection," there is left an important place for the intrusion or domination of a superhuman power. to that fact, the simple, unvarnished tale of the experience of the years at the temple bear eloquent testimony. a book of this character requires that out of the many reports only the most representative cases should be selected, and that the mention should be as brief as is consistent with clearness. the number of marriages which every church, small or great, brings about is ever the astonishment of any preacher who goes back over the history of forty years of church life. the church in any community is a center of more or less of social life and furnishes an opportunity for the best young people to meet on a plane of safe association. the married christian people, and especially the owners of homes, are the very best people in any town or city. as a rule, all people possessed of christian character marry. the unmarried masses of the people, or those who are most often unhappily mated, are often the unstable classes who are not closely bound to moral principles. religious life and home life are twin sisters. they belong to the same family and have the same likes, dislikes, and motives. they are congenial and necessary companions almost everywhere. let us examine the leading events wherein we seem to recognize the divine hand and which led directly to the setting up of christian homes. one lady clerk in a department store, in her first letter asking for prayer, said that she was forty-one years of age and that she had been twenty years in the store. she said that she had hoped for a home all her adult life, but had abandoned the hope and wished only to die soon. she asked if suicide would be wrong under such sad circumstances. the following sabbath morning, after the service, the pastor of her church incidentally introduced her to a widower of her age who had a comfortable house, but who had rented it because he had no children. the widower asked the pastor a few days later to pray for him as he had a "very important matter" on his mind. several days later he came to the minister and said that he had dreamed three times and in each dream he had precisely the same experience. he dreamed that he was climbing a steep hill in bethlehem, pennsylvania, and he had called for help to a lady standing above him near the path, and when he took her hand he recognized her as the lady to whom the minister had introduced him. he declared that he really wished to set up a home again, but his first impression of that lady was decidedly unfavorable. the minister unreservedly advised the widower never to let a mere dream influence him to overcome his calm judgment. the minister said that dreams were often contrary to fair reasoning and should not be consulted in such important matters. a few days later the lady called on the minister to ask him if there was "any truth in dreams." then she greatly surprised the minister by saying that she dreamed several times that she was on a steep bank near a cousin's home in bethlehem, pennsylvania, and as the earth began dangerously to break beneath her feet a man caught her and supported her to the safe path. the mysterious thing in her story was that she recognized the man as the gentleman to whom she had been introduced that sunday morning, but whose name she had forgotten. she said that the repetition of the dream "set her to thinking," and she had called to inquire who the gentleman was and what trust could be placed in dreams. the minister was too surprised to declare again that no faith could be put in any dreams. the minister said nothing to her about his previous interview with the widower and let her depart with the remark that if the lord intended she should marry that man the lord would also speak to the man about it in some clear manner. the lord never advises one party to enter into such a contract when he knows the other party is unwilling. in every holy marriage both parties are equally inspired with the spirit of god and are both absolutely convinced that the lord had brought them together. the minister soon wrote to the widower, advising him to call on the lady and tell her frankly that he desired to make her acquaintance with a view to a marriage, if both should be satisfied that it would be right. every reader of this incident recognizes or feels the impression of the universal law of nature and can prophesy safely that they would marry. the minister was not present at the wedding, but he was informed by those who did attend the ceremony that the bridegroom told the guests the history of their dreams and claimed that they were "obeying the voice of god" when they arranged for that marriage. the doubting persons who claim that the repetition of the dreams and the accidental meetings were singular coincidences that were in no way influenced by angel spirits, do have enough support to make the angel theory one of faith and remove the claim from the class of "scientific demonstrations." the facts related cannot be questioned. but the conclusions from those facts may differ widely and still be more or less reasonable. the mysterious attraction which leads the bird and the beast to choose their mates is of the same nature as that mating instinct which prevails universally among mankind. but man's reasoning power and his self-control make his choice of a wife a far more complicated matter. the healthiest, strongest, and most intellectual races are ever those whose laws and customs allow the greatest opportunity for unprejudiced choice in the selection of life mates. intermarriage of family relations, or the marriages within a narrow circle of the same race, ever produce weaklings and often idiots. in the lands where the parents arrange all the marriages there is but little progress and but few real homes. wherever the parties refuse to be guided by the higher law of affinity, or by a recognition of divine providence, there will seldom be found a real home. "affinity" is an abused word, and is often used to bolster up a bad cause or to excuse a cruel crime. but the close student of anthropology ever finds that the known natural laws do not account for every case, nor can a satisfactory solution of sex attraction in human affairs be found without admitting the mysterious and potent force that is only spiritual. looking back over the marriage records of the baptist temple for thirty years, there appear some significant facts concerning home-making by prayer. through those thirty years of the record-keeping there was an average of sixteen marriages a month, or five thousand and one hundred in thirty years. the same pastor who officiated at the marriage of the parents also, in many cases, officiated at the weddings of the children. not one case of divorce can be discovered and only two cases of estrangement. the records of many praying churches probably show the same conditions. but it is a sublime, soul-satisfying thing to meditate on such a great list of happy christian homes. the searcher, when he notes the birthplaces of bride and groom, finds that they often come from the most distant places and represent nearly all the races of the world. calcutta united with new york, iceland with new orleans, philadelphia with chicago, quebec with quakertown, worcester (massachusetts) with camden (new jersey), japan with chester (pennsylvania), alaska with columbia (south carolina), country villages with cities, obscure daughters of prairie farmers with sailors on the atlantic, millionaires' sons with working girls, and thousands of members of the church of all adult ages uniting with other members of whom they knew nothing in childhood. from the atheist's point of view he can see nothing in that history but a jumble of accidents or a snarl of events which cannot be untangled. but to the devout believer in the theory that god sends his angels to arrange the home-making as he did in the case of rebecca and isaac, that list of homes presents a sublime view of a system for the kind distribution of heaven's chiefest blessings. out of the seventy-two hundred who united with grace church and its missions in the thirty years mentioned above all but twenty-nine have been married. as a home-making agency in the history of our nation the churches must hold the leading place. when the remarkable series of reported dreams became known and was being discussed by the people, there arose many men and women with unbalanced minds who testified to the most inconsistent miracles in connection with their dreams. among the letters which they sent in when testimonials were called for there were nearly one hundred which related foolish and impossible experiences and which made the whole debate ridiculous. but that uprising of those who were "possessed of evil spirits" did not prove that the one case so well established was not the work of an angel of god. there may be ten thousand dreams which are of no special value and which are caused by natural law. but god seems to use only one here and there for his special purposes. thousands of seeds fall on the earth, but only one may be selected to grow. there were cases related where dreams were specially potent to the dreamers because of the suggestions made by the dreams to the waking minds. a dream is often very potent as a reminder, or as a caution, and is often a providential event used in god's plan, although the dreams in themselves may have nothing unusual about them. there could be no clearly remembered dream which did not have some effect on the thought and later actions of the dreamer. with that view many dreams need not have their origin in a special visit of an angel of god. but again we must believe that there are dreams in which the angel of god appears to man directly, and that such dreams are possible in any age of the human world. each claim, therefore, to a revelation of god in a dream should stand alone and be accepted or rejected after a careful study of all the causes and effects. the experiences with the holy spirit during those years of constant prayer should find a special place in this record. for there were devout souls who seemed to be constantly filled with the divine afflatus, and they surely enjoyed the peace of god which passeth all understanding. here, again, we walk near a line that cannot exactly be located and enjoy emotions or inspirations which cannot be described. an all-pervading joy illumined every part of the human soul. "where are you going so early this sunday morning?" was often asked of the hastening pedestrian, and it was a common experience to hear him reply, "i am going to the morning prayer meeting in the temple to meet the holy spirit." the holy spirit was there awaiting him. there were pentecostal days--supreme hours of strange elation, seasons of heavenly bliss which cannot be accounted for on any psychological basis. a holy brooding of a sin-expelling spiritual atmosphere permeated by a power like a perfume. it was an indwelling of the spirit which carried a purifying fumigation wherein the worshiper simply let go of himself and rested in the arms of his heavenly father. many felt that sacred presence and could only express themselves in tears. such pentecostal visitations of the spirit have doubtless come to thousands of churches and to millions of worshipers in other places, and this experience at the temple is not mentioned as if it were an unusual thing where prayer is the habit of all the people. but it confirms the history of the visits of the holy spirit related in the bible, and must be accepted as a proof of the fact that there is communication between the spirit world and the world in which we live in the flesh. but these spiritual conditions are so subtle, so elusive, so delicate, that it is easy to imagine that one is in that condition when perhaps he is not. it was so disappointing and perplexing to the sincere and reasonable christian to have his communication with the holy spirit disturbed by a wild-eyed and loud-mouthed "holy roller" or an advocate of "the holy ghost and us society" proclaim his wild theories and tell of the silly revelations which he claimed the spirit had made to him. some of those disturbers are now in the insane asylum, where they should have been before. wherever god erects a house of prayer the devil builds a chapel there. and 'twill be found on examination the latter has the largest congregation. it is a marvel that the gospel of christ has outlived its own advocates. the "cranks" who testified for christ in his day were more harmful than were the same number of his open enemies. because of them the people believed that christ himself was a wild fanatic. the believer in christ must try prayerfully and carefully to distinguish between the devils and the angels of light, and determine by their fruits which claimant is possessed by the spirit of god and which is controlled by the spirit of evil. chapter v prayer and the bible there are three methods used distinctively in the study of the bible and upon each of them prayer has a clear effect. this fact comes out fully in the written testimonials received from the members of the church worshiping in the baptist temple. one individual may read the bible as he would read any other book, and, consequently, finds it dull reading. another studies the historical references as an archæologist or as the scientific specialists examine a rare specimen. to them it is a curious and strange collection of ancient manuscripts, and such a student finds amusement in the research. another regards the book as a miraculous revelation from god, and he handles the volume with reverent care and reads the statements it contains as he would a letter sent from heaven direct to him. those three classes are found in almost every religious gathering, and it is an intensely interesting thing to observe at close range the various effects of prayer on such a congregation. when the leader of the prayer service approaches the bible with the manner of a delighted seeker after truth, and, before opening the book, leads the people in a direct appeal to the divine spirit for instruction and inspiration, the interest of the worshipers in the book is especially awakened. when the leader prays fervently and with frank sincerity that the passages of the bible to be read shall be illumined or be made alive with special meaning and new emphasis, then the book will be an interesting volume to nearly all of the gathering. and when the leader is himself expecting a special revelation from that book at that time his personal magnetism combines with his manner to help the worshiper into a receptive, expectant state of mind. the people then expect to hear "an important message from a most important person." the helpfulness of those conditions anyone would understand, as they are in accord with human experience in other gatherings. but the effect of the prayer in bringing to each person present a different message from the same verse puts the matter over into the realm of the supernatural. at one prayer meeting at the temple, when a severe storm had cut down the attendance to a number under twenty, the prayerful attitude of all present made the session one of special spiritual illumination. the scriptures were read with accuracy and natural emphasis, and then each listener was requested to state informally what was the chief lesson which the reading brought to him. each person present received a distinct and helpful suggestion differing from the suggestions made to any of the others. it is that well-established fact, so often experienced, that makes the bible a book unlike any other. in this, too, is shown the importance of persuading everyone to read the bible for and by himself. it seems, however, to be universally true that when the bible is prayerfully, intelligently read aloud each praying listener receives some message of special importance to himself. while all that evening heard the same words from the same mouth, yet the circumstances of each life were different from every other; the experiences had been unlike, the inherited dispositions were different, the meaning of the words was shaded by the variation in their home use, and a full allowance was freely made for those differing effects. but those considerations cannot, to the calm, critical student of the inspiration of the bible, account for the special and mysterious messages which come to each participant in the meeting. the suggestions are often beyond the application of the law of "the association of ideas." they cannot be explained by any of the known psychological laws which seem generally to govern the human mind. this experience with the bible is the best evidence of its divine inspiration. archæological, psychological, etymological, or historical analysis cannot establish the accuracy of the bible so surely as that actual experience. the best proof is subjective. the secular argument that the bible carries on its face the evidence that the writers were all inspired by a "good motive" is surely an excellent reason for believing the bible to be "inspired." a holy motive, apparent in its wise communications, is clearly shown in the bible. the etymologist who rests his case on the conclusion that the words "inspired by god" were formerly written "inspired by the good," and that the "all good" being is the ideal god, is not far from the safe definition. that does not in any way conflict with the theory that "all scripture, inspired by the 'all good,' is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness." the complications into which the narrow theologian or technical philosopher falls when attempting to reason about the almighty often makes the study bewildering and unprofitable. the testimony of the good and great through all the ages that every line of the book is written with the unselfish purpose to do good is sufficient warrant for the common reader in concluding that it has some unusual inspiration. the question was often discussed at the temple whether it was safe after prayer to open the bible at random and be guided by the first verse on which the eye rested. some claimed that it was always safe to trust it. others said that it was only occasionally that they found it to be reasonably instructive. still others believed that the ascribing of such magic, or miraculous, power to the book was clearly a form of forbidden idolatry. but the majority of the praying bible readers felt convinced that the selection of texts at random could not be trusted. yet here again we find strong evidence that sometimes the worshiper is directed to a particular record which seems to be selected by a divine mind. again, it is wholly a matter of faith. the boy who asked his father for a silver dollar and found one in the road which some traveler had accidentally dropped, concluded that there was no design on the part of his father to give him the dollar. but when he found a dollar there the third time his conclusion that his father had placed all three of the dollars there for him was not unreasonable, but, nevertheless, erroneous. so while the lord surely has established certain laws or customs which seem permanent, yet he has the power and may change the laws or allow exceptions, and one cannot believe in prayer without believing that such changes are sometimes made. it is a far greater strain upon human credulity not to believe it than it is to believe it. the careful use of common sense in the interpretation of biblical or unusual events, examples, and records of wisdom is ever the safe and sane proceeding. if one should pray for divine direction and opened the bible at random to find the lord's advice he should always examine the verse to see if its teaching or direction accorded with his petition. in a "call" to the ministry there must be a conviction of duty in the soul and also a road providentially opened to the would-be laborer. so in all the thousands of answers to prayer at the temple there was found a conjunction of circumstances which showed that the worker was called by the same lord who had a work to be done. the will of man is a strong force and is in itself an effectual, fervent prayer. the lord prospers the person whose righteous will is decided, persistent, and uncompromising. the too-frequent consultation of bible texts for hints or for direction shows a habit of doubt which is often a clear evidence of weakness. but in this, as in almost every other experiment, it is the consensus of opinion that the lord does often inspire the bible, especially for certain devout seekers, and that he inspires the soul with a keen, sensitive apprehension and appreciation of the special revelation. the spiritually minded man or woman is the only one who can interpret a spiritual book. the chief value of the bible is as a spiritual guide. it is the only book which explains the creator's revelation to this world, and is the only one which gives a trustworthy description of the spiritual world. what a shadow would pass over the earth, and what destruction, devastation, and misery would be experienced, if, in one moment, all knowledge of the bible were crossed out! sane men who reverently pray for the inspiration when they read the scriptures are the only safe guides to its sacred meaning. all who came to the temple to pray seem to have been lead to the bible at once, and thousands have learned to love it. to those who have prayed long over it it has become a continual feast. quiet talks on prayer by s. d. gordon copyright, , by fleming h. revell company contents i. the meaning and mission of prayer . prayer the greatest outlet of power . prayer the deciding factor in a spirit conflict . the earth, the battle-field in prayer . does prayer influence god? ii. hindrances to prayer . why the results fail . why the results are delayed . the great outside hindrance iii. how to pray . the "how" of relationship . the "how" of method . the listening side of prayer . something about god's will in connection with prayer . may we pray with assurance for the conversion of our loved ones iv. jesus' habits of prayer . a pen sketch . dissolving views . deepening shadows . under the olive trees . a composite picture i. the meaning and mission of prayer . prayer the greatest outlet of power. . prayer the deciding factor in a spirit conflict. . the earth, the battle-field in prayer. . does prayer influence god? prayer the greatest outlet of power <u>five outlets of power.</u> a great sorrow has come into the heart of god. let it be told only in hushed voice--one of his worlds is _a prodigal_! hush your voice yet more--_ours_ is that prodigal world. let your voice soften down still more--_we_ have _consented_ to the prodigal part of the story. but, in softest tones yet, he has won some of us back with his strong tender love. and now let the voice ring out with great gladness--we won ones may be the pathway back to god for the others. that is his earnest desire. that should be our dominant ambition. for that purpose he has endowed us with peculiar power. there is one inlet of power in the life--anybody's life--any kind of power: just one inlet--the holy spirit. he is power. he is in every one who opens his door to god. he eagerly enters every open door. he comes in by our invitation and consent. his presence within is the vital thing. but with many of us while he is in, he is not in control: in as guest; not as host. that is to say he is hindered in his natural movements; tied up, so that he cannot do what he would. and so we are not conscious or only partially conscious of his presence. and others are still less so. but to yield to his mastery, to cultivate his friendship, to give him full swing--that will result in what is called power. one inlet of power--the holy spirit in control. there are five outlets of power: five avenues through which this one within shows himself, and reveals his power. first: through the life, what we are. just simply what we are. if we be right the power of god will be constantly flowing out, though we be not conscious of it. it throws the keenest kind of emphasis on a man being right in his life. there will be an eager desire to serve. yet we may constantly do more in what we are than in what we do. we may serve better in the lives we live than in the best service we ever give. the memory of that should bring rest to your spirit when a bit tired, and may be disheartened because tired. second: through the lips, what we say. it may be said stammeringly and falteringly. but if said your best with the desire to please the master it will be god-blest. i have heard a man talk. and he stuttered and blushed and got his grammar badly tangled, but my heart burned as i listened. and i have heard a man talk with smooth speech, and it rolled off me as easily as it rolled out of him. do your best, and leave the rest. if we are in touch with god his fire burns whether the tongue stammer or has good control of its powers. third: through our service, what we do. it may be done bunglingly and blunderingly. your best may not be the best, but if it be your best it will bring a harvest. fourth: through our money, what we do not keep, but loosen out for god. money comes the nearest to omnipotence of anything we handle. and, fifth: through our prayer, what we claim in jesus' name. and by all odds the greatest of these is the outlet through prayer. the power of a life touches just one spot, but the touch is tremendous. what is there we think to be compared with a pure, unselfish, gently strong life. yet its power is limited to one spot where it is being lived. power through the lips depends wholly upon the life back of the lips. words that come brokenly are often made burning and eloquent by the life behind them. and words that are smooth and easy, often have all their meaning sapped by the life back of them. power through service may be great, and may be touching many spots, yet it is always less than that of a life. power through money depends wholly upon the motive back of the money. begrudged money, stained money, soils the treasury. that which comes nearest to omnipotence also comes nearest to impotence. but the power loosened out through prayer is as tremendous, at the least, to say no more just now, is as tremendous as the power of a true fragrant life and, mark you, _and_, may touch not one spot but wherever in the whole round world you may choose to turn it. the greatest thing any one can do for god and for man is to pray. it is not the only thing. but it is the chief thing. a correct balancing of the possible powers one may exert puts it first. for if a man is to pray right, he must first _be_ right in his motives and life. and if a man _be_ right, and put the practice of praying in its right place, then his serving and giving and speaking will be fairly fragrant with the presence of god. the great people of the earth to-day are the people who pray. i do not mean those who talk about prayer; nor those who say they believe in prayer; nor yet those who can explain about prayer; but i mean these people who _take_ time and _pray_. they have not time. it must be taken from something else. this something else is important. very important, and pressing than prayer. there are people that put prayer first, and group the other items in life's schedule around and after prayer. these are the people to-day who are doing the most for god; in winning souls; in solving problems; in awakening churches; in supplying both men and money for mission posts; in keeping fresh and strong these lives far off in sacrificial service on the foreign field where the thickest fighting is going on; in keeping the old earth sweet awhile longer. it is wholly a secret service. we do not know who these people are, though sometimes shrewd guesses may be made. i often think that sometimes we pass some plain-looking woman quietly slipping out of church; gown been turned two or three times; bonnet fixed over more than once; hands that have not known much of the softening of gloves; and we hardly giver her a passing thought, and do not know, nor guess, that perhaps _she_ is the one who is doing far more for her church, and for the world, and for god than a hundred who would claim more attention and thought, _because she prays_; truly prays as the spirit of god inspires and guides. let me put it this way: god will do as a result of the praying of the humblest one here what otherwise he _would_ not do. yes, i can make it stronger than that, and i must make it stronger, for the book does. listen: god will do in answer to the prayer of the weakest one here what otherwise he _could_ not do. "oh!" someone thinks, "you are getting that too strong now." well, you listen to jesus' own words in that last long quiet talk he had with the eleven men between the upper room and the olive-green. john preserves much of that talk for us. listen: "ye did not choose me, but i chose you, and appointed you, that ye should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should abide: that"--listen, a part of the purpose why we have been chosen--"that whatsoever ye shall ask of the father in my name, he _may_ give it you."[ ] mark that word "may"; not "shall" this time but _may_. "shall" throws the matter over on god--his purpose. "may" throws it over upon us--our cooperation. that is to say our praying makes it possible for god to do what otherwise he could not do. and if you think into it a bit, this fits in with the true conception of prayer. in its simplest analysis prayer--all prayer--has, must have, two parts. first, a god to give. "yes," you say, "certainly, a god wealthy, willing, all of that." and, just as certainly, there must be a second factor, _a man to receive_. man's willingness is god's channel to the earth. god never crowds nor coerces. everything god does for man and through man he does with man's consent, always. with due reverence, but very plainly, let it be said that god can do nothing for the man with shut hand and shut life. there must be an open hand and heart and life _through_ which god can give what he longs to. an open life, an open hand, open upward, is the pipe line of communication between the heart of god and this poor befooled old world. our prayer is god's opportunity to get into the world that would shut him out. <u>in touch with a planet.</u> prayer opens a whole planet to a man's activities. i can as really be touching hearts for god in far away india or china through prayer, as though i were there. not in as many ways as though there, but as truly. understand me, i think the highest possible _privilege_ of service is in those far off lands. there the need is greatest, the darkness densest, and the pleading call most eloquently pathetic. and if one _may_ go there--happy man!--if one be _privileged_ to go to the honoured place of service he may then use all five outlets direct in the spot where he is. yet this is only one spot. but his relationship is as wide as his master's and his sympathies should be. a man may be in africa, but if his heart be in touch with jesus it will be burning for _a world_. prayer puts us into direct dynamic touch with a world. a man may go aside to-day, and shut his door, and as really spend a half-hour in india--i am thinking of my words as i say them, it seems so much to say, and yet it is true--as really spend a half hour of his life in india for god as though he were there in person. _is_ that true? if it be true, surely you and i must get more half-hours for this secret service. without any doubt he may turn his key and be for a bit of time as potentially in china by the power of prayer, as though there in actual bodily form. i say _potentially_ present. of course not consciously present. but in the _power exerted upon men_ he may be truly present at the objective point of his prayer. he may give a new meaning to the printed page being read by some native down in africa. he may give a new tongue of flame to the preacher or teacher. he may make it easier for men to accept the story of jesus, and then to yield themselves to jesus--yonder men swept and swayed by evil spirits, and by prejudices for generations--make it easier for them to accept the story, and, if need be, to cut with loved ones, and step out and up into a new life. some earnest heart enters an objection here, perhaps. you are thinking that if you were there you could influence men by your personal contact, by the living voice. so you could. and there must be the personal touch. would that there were many times more going for that blessed personal touch. but this is the thing to mark keenly both for those who may go, and for those who must stay: no matter where you are you do more through your praying than through your personality. if you were in india you could _add your personality to your prayer_. that would be a great thing to do. but whether there or here, you must first win the victory, every step, every life, every foot of the way, in secret, in the spirit-realm, and then add the mighty touch of your personality in service. you can do _more _ than pray, _after_ you have prayed. but you can _not_ do more than pray _until_ you have prayed. and just there is where we have all seemed to make a slip at times, and many of us are yet making it--a bad slip. we think we can do more where we are through our service: then prayer to give power to service. _no_--with the blackest underscoring of emphasis, let it be said--no. we can do no thing of real power until we have done the prayer thing. here is a man by my side. i can talk to him. i can bring my personality to bear upon him, that i may win him. but before i can influence his will a jot for god, i must first have won the victory in the secret place. intercession is winning the victory over the chief, and service is taking the field after the chief is driven off. such service is limited by the limitation of personality to one place. this spirit-telegraphy called prayer puts a man into direct dynamic touch with a planet. there are some of our friends who think themselves of the practical sort who say, "the great thing is work: prayer is good, and right, but the great need is to be doing something practical." the truth is that when one understands about prayer, and puts prayer in its right place in his life, he finds a new motive power burning in his bones to be _doing_; and further he finds that it is the doing that grows out of praying that is mightiest in touching human hearts. and he finds further yet with a great joy that he may be _doing_ something for an entire world. his service becomes as broad as his master's thought. <u>intercession is service.</u> it helps greatly to remember that intercession is service: the chief service of a life on god's plan. it is unlike all other forms of service, and superior to them in this: that it has fewer limitations. in all other service we are constantly limited by space, bodily strength, equipment, material obstacles, difficulties involved in the peculiar differences of personality. prayer knows no such limitations. it ignores space. it may be free of expenditure of bodily strength, where rightly practiced, and one's powers are under proper control. it goes directly, by the telegraphy of spirit, into men's hearts, quietly passes through walls, and past locks unhindered, and comes into most direct touch with the inner heart and will to be affected. in service, as ordinarily understood, one is limited to the space where his body is, the distance his voice can reach, the length of time he can keep going before he must quit to eat, or rest, or sleep. he is limited by walls, and locks, by the prejudices of men's minds, and by those peculiar differences of temperament which must be studied in laying siege to men's hearts. the whole circle of endeavour in winning men includes such an infinite variety. there is speaking the truth to a number of persons, and to one at a time; the doing of needed kindly acts of helpfulness, supplying food, and the like; there is teaching; the almost omnipotent ministry of money; the constant contact with a pure unselfish life; letter writing; printer's ink in endless variety. all these are in god's plan for winning men. but the intensely fascinating fact to mark is this:--that the real victory in all of this service is won in secret, beforehand, by prayer, and these other indispensable things are the moving upon the works of the enemy, and claiming the victory already won. and when these things are put in their proper order, prayer first, and the other things second; _second_, i say, not omitted, not slurred over; done with all the earnestness and power of brain and hand and heart possible; but done _after_ the victory has been won in secret, against the real foe, and done _while_ the winner is still claiming the victory already assured,--then will come far greater achievements in this outer open service. then we go into this service with that fine spirit of expectancy that sweeps the field at the start, and steadily sticks on the stubbornly contested spots until the whipped foe turns tail, and goes. prayer is striking the winning blow at the concealed enemy. service is gathering up the results of that blow among the men we see and touch. great patience and tact and persistence are needed in the service because each man must be influenced in his own will. but the shrewd strategy that wins puts the keen stiff secret fighting first. <u>the spirit switchboard.</u> electricity is a strange element. it is catalogued in the study of physics. it is supposed to be properly classed among the forces of nature. yet it seems to have many properties of the spirit world. those who know most of it say they know least of what it is. some of the laws of its being have been learned, and so its marvellous power harnessed for man's use, but in much ignorance of what it is. it seems almost to belong somewhere in between the physical and spirit realms. it furnishes many similes of graphic helpfulness in understanding more nearly much truth of the spirit life. in the power-house where the electricity is being wooed into man's harnessing, or generated, as the experts say, is found a switchboard, or switch-room with a number of boards. here in a large city plant a man may go and turn a switch, that is, move a little handle, a very short distance. it is a very simple act, easily performed, involving almost no strength. but that act has loosened the power in the house back of the switchboard out along the wires, and perhaps lighted a whole section of the city. he goes in again at another hour, and turns _this_ set of switches, and _this_, and sets in motion maybe scores of cars, carrying swiftly, hundreds of passengers. again he goes in, and moves the little handles and sets in motion the wheels in some factory employing hundreds of operatives. it is a secret service, usually as far as any observers are concerned. it is a very quiet, matter of fact service. but the power influenced is unmeasured and immeasurable. and no one, seemingly, thus far, can explain the mysterious but tremendous agent involved. does the fluid--it a fluid? or, what?--pass _through_ the wire? or, _around_ the wire? the experts say they do not know. but the laws which it obeys are known. and as men comply with them its almost omnipotence is manifested. just such a switch-room in the spirit realm is one's prayer-room. every one who will may have such a spirit switching-board in his life. there he may go and in compliance with the laws of the power used loosen out the gracious persuasive irresistible power of god _where he wills to_; now in japan; now in china; among the hungry human hearts of india's plains and mountains; again in africa which is full as near to where jesus sits as is england or america; and now into the house across the alley from your home; and down in the slum district; and now into your preacher's heart for next sunday's work; and now again unto the hearts of those you will be meeting in the settlement house, or the mission school. children are not allowed at the electrical switchboard, nor any unskilled hand. for misuse means possibility of great damage to property and life. and the spirit switchboard does not yield to the unskilled touch. though sometimes there seems to be much tampering by those with crude fingers, and with selfish desire to turn this current to personal advantage merely. it takes skill here. yet such is our winsome god's wondrous plan that skill may come to any one who is willing; simply that--who is willing; and it comes _very simply_ too. strange too, as with the electrical counterpart, the thing is beyond full or satisfying explanation. how does it come to pass that a man turns a few handles, and miles away great wheels begin to revolve, and enormous power is manifested? will some one kindly explain? yet we know it is so, and men govern their actions by that knowledge. how does it come to pass that a woman in iowa prays for the conversion of her skeptical husband, and he, down in the thick of the most absorbing congress washington has known since the civil war, and in full ignorance of her purpose becomes conscious and repeatedly conscious of the presence and power of the god in whose existence he does not believe; and months afterwards with his keen, legally trained mind, finds the calendar to fit together the beginning of her praying with the beginning of his unwelcome consciousness? will some one kindly explain? ah! who can, adequately! yet the facts, easy ascertainable, are there, and evidenced in the complete change in the life and calling of the man. how comes it to pass that a woman in missouri praying for a friend of keen intellectual skeptically in glasgow, who can skillfully measure and parry argument, yet finds afterwards that the time of her praying is the time of his, at first decidedly unwelcome, but finally radical change of convictions! yet groups of thoughtful men and women know these two instances to be even so though unable to explain how. and as the mysterious electrical power is being used by obedience to its laws, even so is the power of prayer being used by many who understand simply enough of its laws to obey, and to bring the stupendous results. <u>the broad inner horizon.</u> this suggests at once that the rightly rounded christian life has two sides; the _out_-side, and the _inner_ side. to most of us the outer side seems the greater. the living, the serving, the giving, the doing, the absorption in life's work, the contact with men, with the great majority the sheer struggle for existence--these take the greater thought and time of us all. they seem to be the great business of life even to those of us who thoroughly believe in the inner life. but when the real eyes open, the inner eyes that see the unseen, the change of perspective is first ludicrous, then terrific, then pathetic. ludicrous, because of the change of proportions; terrific, because of the issues at stake; pathetic, because of strong men that see not, and push on spending splendid strength whittling sticks. the outer side is narrow in its limits. it has to do with food and clothing, bricks and lumber, time and the passing hour, the culture of the mind, the joys of social contact, the smoothing of the way for the suffering. and it needs not to be said, that these are right; they belong in the picture; they are its physical background. the inner side _includes all of these_, and stretches infinitely beyond. its limits are broad; broad as the home of man; with its enswathing atmosphere added. it touches the inner spirit. it moves in upon the motives, the loves, the heart. it moves out upon the myriad spirit-beings and forces that swarm ceaselessly about the earth staining and sliming men's souls and lives. it moves up to the arm of god in cooperation with his great love-plan for a world. shall we follow for a day one who has gotten the true perspective? here is the outer side: a humble home, a narrow circle, tending the baby, patching, sewing, cooking, calling; _or_, measuring dry goods, chopping a typewriter, checking up a ledger, feeding the swift machinery, endless stitching, gripping a locomotive lever, pushing the plow, tending the stock, doing the chores, tiresome examination papers; and all the rest of the endless, endless, doing, day by day, of the commonplace treadmill things, that must be done, that fill out the day of the great majority of human lives. this one whom we are following unseen is doing quietly, cheerily his daily round, with a bit of sunshine in his face, a light in his eye, and lightness in his step, and the commonplace place becomes uncommon by reason of the presence of this man with the uncommon spirit. he is working for god. no, better, he is working with god. he has an unseen friend at his side. that changes all. the common drudgery ceases to be common, and ceases to be drudgery because it is done for such an uncommon master. that is the outer, the narrow side of this life: not narrow in itself but in its proportion to the whole. now, hold your breath, and look, for here is the inner side where the larger work of life is being done. here is the quiet bit of time alone with god, with the book. the door is shut, as the master said. now it is the morning hour with a bit of made light, for the sun is busy yet farther east. now it is the evening hour, with the sun speeding towards western service, and the bed invitingly near. there is a looking up into god's face; then keen but reverent reading, and then a simple intelligent pleading with its many variations of this--"thy will be done, in the victor's name." god himself is here, in this inner room. the angels are here. this room opens out into and is in direct touch with a spirit space as wide as the earth. the horizon of this room is as broad as the globe. god's presence with this man makes it so. to-day a half hour is spent in china, for its missionaries, its native christians, its millions, the printed page, the personal contact, the telling of the story, the school, the dispensary, the hospital. and in through the petitions runs this golden thread--"victory in jesus' name: victory in jesus' name; to-day: to-day: thy will be being done: the other will undone: victory in jesus' name." tomorrow's bit of time is largely spent in india perhaps. and so this man with the narrow outer horizon and the broad inner horizon pushes his spirit-way through japan, india, ceylon, persia, arabia, turkey, africa, europe's papal lands, the south american states, the home land, its cities, frontiers, slums, the home town, the home church, the man across the alley; in and out; out and in; the tide of prayer sweeps quietly, resistlessly day by day. this is the true christian life. this man is winning souls and refreshing lives in these far-off lands and in near-by places as truly as though he were in each place. this is the master's plan. the true follower of jesus has as broad a horizon as his master. jesus thought in continents and seas. his follower prays in continents and seas. this man does not know what is being accomplished. yes! he _does_ know, too. he knows by the inference of faith. this room where we are meeting and talking together might be shut up so completely that no light comes in. a single crack breaking somewhere lets in a thin line of light. but that line of light shining in the darkness tells of a whole sun of light flooding the outer world. there comes to this man occasional, yes frequent, evidences of changes being wrought, yet he knows that these are but the thin line of glory light which speaks of the fuller shining. and with a spirit touched with glad awe that he can and may help god, and a heart full alike of peace and of yearning, and a life fragrant with an unseen presence he goes steadily on his way, towards the dawning of the day. prayer the deciding factor in a spirit conflict <u>a prehistoric conflict.</u> in its simplest meaning prayer has to do with a conflict. rightly understood it is the deciding factor in a spirit conflict. the scene of the conflict is the earth. the purpose of the conflict is to decide the control of the earth, and its inhabitants. the conflict runs back into the misty ages of the creation time. the rightful prince of the earth is jesus, the king's son. there is a pretender prince who was once rightful prince. he was guilty of a breach of trust. but like king saul, after his rejection and david's anointing in his place, he has been and is trying his best by dint of force to hold the realm and oust the rightful ruler. the rightful prince is seeking by utterly different means, namely by persuasion, to win the world back to its first allegiance. he had a fierce set-to with the pretender, and after a series of victories won the great victory of the resurrection morning. there is one peculiarity of this conflict making it different from all others; namely, a decided victory, and the utter vanquishing of the leading general has not stopped the war. and the reason is remarkable. the victor has a deep love-ambition to win, not merely against the enemy, but _into men's hearts, by their free consent_. and so, with marvellous love-born wisdom and courage, the conflict is left open, for men's sake. it is a spirit conflict. the earth is swung in a spirit atmosphere. there are unnumbered thousands of spirit beings good and evil, tramping the earth's surface, and filling its atmosphere. they are splendidly organized into two compact organizations. man is a spirit being; an embodied spirit being. he has a body and a mind. he is a spirit. his real conflicts are of the spirit sort; in the spirit realm, with other spirit beings. satan is a spirit being; an unembodied spirit being. that is, unembodied, save as in much cunning, with deep, dark purpose he secures embodiment in human beings. the only sort of power that influences in the spirit realm is _moral_ power. by which is not meant _goodness_, but that sort of power either bad or good which is not of a physical sort: that higher, infinitely higher and greater power than the mere physical. moral power is the opposite of violent or physical power. god does not use force, violent physical force. there are some exceptions to this statement. there have been righteous wars, righteous on one side. turning to the bible record, in emergencies, in extreme instances god has ordered war measures. the nations that israel was told to remove by the death of war would have inevitably worn themselves out through their physical excesses, and disobedience of the laws of life. but a wide view of the race revealed an emergency which demanded a speedier movement. and as an exception, for the sake of his plan for the ultimate saving of a race, and a world, god gave an extermination order. the emergency makes the exception. there is one circumstance under which the taking of human life is right, namely, when it can be clearly established that god the giver and sovereign of life has so directed. but the rule clearly is that god does not use force. but note sharply in contrast with this that physical force is one of satan's chief weapons. but mark there two intensely interesting facts: first, he can use it only as he secures man as his ally, and uses it through him. and, second, in using it he has with great subtlety sought to shift the sphere of action. he knows that in the sphere of spirit force pure and simple he is at a disadvantage: indeed, worse yet, he is defeated. for there is a moral force on the other side greater than any at his command. the forces of purity and righteousness he simply _can_not withstand. jesus is the personification of purity and righteousness. it was on this moral ground, in this spirit sphere that he won the great victory. he ran a terrific gauntlet of tests, subtle and fierce, through those human years, and came out victor with his purity and righteousness unstained. <u>prayer is projecting one's spirit personality.</u> now prayer is a spirit force, it has to do wholly with spirit beings and forces. it is an insistent claiming, by a man, an embodied spirit being, down on the contested earth, that the power of jesus' victory over the great evil-spirit chieftain shall extend to particular lives now under his control. the prayer takes on the characteristic of the man praying. he is a spirit being. it becomes a spirit force. it is a projecting into the spirit realm of his spirit personality. being a spirit force it has certain qualities or characteristics of unembodied spirit beings. an unembodied spirit being is not limited by space as we embodied folk are. it can go as swiftly as we can think. if i want to go to london it will take at least a week's time to get my body through the intervening space. but i can think myself into london more quickly than i can say the words, and be walking down the strand. now a spirit being can go as quickly as i can think. further, spirit beings are not limited by material obstructions such as the walls of this building. when i came in here to-day i came in by this door. you all came in by these doors. we were obliged to come in either by doors or windows. but the spirit beings who are here listening to us, and deeply concerned with our discussion did not bother with the doors. they came in through the walls, or the roof, if they were above us, or through the floor here, if they happened to be below this level. prayer has these qualities of spirit beings of not being limited by space, or by material obstacles. prayer is really projecting my spirit, that is, my real personality to the spot concerned, and doing business there with other spirit beings. for example there is a man in a city on the atlantic seaboard for whom i pray daily. it makes my praying for him very tangible and definite to recall that every time i pray my prayer is a spirit force instantly traversing the space in between him and me, and going without hindrance through the walls of the house where he is, and influencing the spirit beings surrounding him, and so influencing his own will. when it became clear to me some few years ago that my master would not have me go yet to those parts of the earth where the need is greatest, a deep tinge of disappointment came over me. then as i realized the wisdom of his sovereignty in service, it came to me anew that i could exert a positive influence in those lands for him by prayer. as many others have done, i marked out a daily schedule of prayer. there are certain ones for whom i pray by name, at certain intervals. and it gives great simplicity to my faith, and great gladness to my heart to remember that every time such prayer is breathed out, my spirit personality is being projected yonder, and in effect i am standing in shanghai, and calcutta and tokyo in turn and pleading the power of jesus' victory over the evil one there, and on behalf of those faithful ones standing there for god. it is a fiercely contested conflict. satan is a trained strategist, and an obstinate fighter. he refuses to acknowledge defeat until he must. it is the fight of his life. strange as it must seem, and perhaps absurd, he apparently hopes to succeed. if we knew all, it might seem less strange and absurd, because of the factors on his side. there is surely much down in the world of the sort which we can fully appreciate to give colour to his expectations. prayer is insisting upon jesus' victory, and the retreat of the enemy on each particular spot, and heart and problem concerned. the enemy yields only what he must. he yields only what is taken. therefore the ground must be taken step by step. prayer must be definite. he yields only when he must. therefore the prayer must be persistent. he continually renews his attacks, therefore the ground taken must be _held_ against him in the victor's name. this helps to understand why prayer must be persisted in after we have full assurance of the result, and even after some immediate results have come, or, after the general results have commenced coming. <u>giving god a fresh footing.</u> the victor's best ally in this conflict is the man, who while he remains down on the battle-field, puts his life in full touch with his saviour-victor, and then incessantly, insistently, believingly claims _victory in jesus' name_. he is the one foe among men whom satan cannot withstand. he is projecting an irresistible spirit force into the spirit realm. satan is obliged to yield. we are so accustomed through history's long record to seeing victories won through force, physical force, alone, that it is difficult for us to realize that moral force defeats as the other never can. witness the demons in the gospels, and in modern days in china,[ ] clearly against their own set purpose, notwithstanding intensest struggle on their part obliged to admit defeat, and even to ask favours of their conqueror. the records of personal christian service give fascinating instances of fierce opposition utterly subdued and individuals transformed through such influence. had we eyes to see spirit beings and spirit conflicts we would constantly see the enemy's defeat in numberless instances through the persistent praying of some one allied to jesus in the spirit of his life. every time such a man prays it is a waving of the red-dyed flag of jesus christ above satan's head in the spirit world. every such man who freely gives himself over to god, and gives himself up to prayer is giving god a new spot in the contested territory on which to erect his banner of victory. the japanese struggled for weeks to get a footing on the port arthur peninsula, even after the naval victories had practically rendered russia helpless on the seas. it was an unusual spectacle to witness such difficulty in getting a landing after such victories. but with the bulldog tenacity that has marked her fighting japan fought for a footing. nothing could be done till a footing was gotten. prayer is man giving god a footing on the contested territory of this earth. the man in full touch of purpose with god praying, insistently praying--that man is god's footing on the enemy's soil. the man wholly given over to god gives him a new sub-headquarters on the battle-field from which to work out. and the holy spirit within that man, on the new spot, will insist on the enemy's retreat in jesus the victor's name. that is prayer. shall we not, every one of us, increase god's footing down upon his prodigal earth! the earth, the battle-field in prayer <u>prayer a war measure.</u> this world is god's prodigal son. the heart of god's bleeds over his prodigal. it has been gone so long, and the home circle is broken. he has spent all the wealth of his thought on a plan for winning the prodigal back home. angels and men have marvelled over that plan, its sweep, its detail, its strength and wisdom, its tenderness. he needs man for his plan. he will _use_ man. that is true. he will _honour_ man in service. that is true. but these only touch the edge of the truth. the pathway from god to a human heart is through a human heart. when he came to the great strategic move in his plan, he himself came down as a man and made that move. _he needs man for his plan._ the greatest agency put into man's hands is prayer. to understand that at all fully one needs to define prayer. and to define prayer adequately one must use the language of war. peace language is not equal to the situation. the earth is in a state of war. it is being hotly besieged and so one must use war talk to grasp the facts with which prayer is concerned. _prayer from god's side is communication between himself and his allies in the enemy's country_. prayer is not persuading god. it does not influence god's purpose. it is not winning him over to our side; never that. he is far more eager for what we are rightly eager for than we ever are. what there is of wrong and sin and suffering that pains you, pains him far more. he knows more about it. he is more keenly sensitive to it than the most sensitive one of us. whatever of heart yearning there may be that moves you to prayer is from him. god takes the initiative in all prayer. it starts with him. true prayer moves in a circle. it begins in the heart of god, sweeps down into a human heart upon the earth, so intersecting the circle of the earth, which is the battle-field of prayer, and then it goes back again to its starting point, having accomplished its purpose on the downward swing. <u>three forms of prayer.</u> prayer is the word commonly used for all intercourse with god. but it should be kept in mind that that word covers and includes three forms of intercourse. all prayer grows up through, and ever continues in three stages. the first form of prayer is _communion_. that is simply being on good terms with god. it involves the blood of the cross as the basis of our getting and being on good terms. it involves my coming to god through jesus. communion is fellowship with god. not request for some particular thing; not asking, but simply enjoying himself, loving him, thinking about him, how beautiful, and intelligent, and strong and loving and lovable he is; talking to him without words. that is the truest worship, thinking how worthy he is of all the best we can possibly bring to him, and infinitely more. it has to do wholly with god and a man being on good terms with each other. of necessity it includes confession on my part and forgiveness upon god's part, for only so can we come into the relation of fellowship. adoration, worship belong to this first phase of prayer. communion is the basis of all prayer. it is the essential breath of the true christian life. it concerns just two, god and myself, yourself. its influence is directly subjective. _it affects me._ the second form of prayer is _petition_. and i am using that word now in the narrower meaning of asking something for one's self. petition is definite request of god for something i need. a man's whole life is utterly dependent upon the giving hand of god. everything we need comes from him. our friendships, ability to make money, health, strength in temptation, and in sorrow, guidance in difficult circumstances, and in all of life's movements; help of all sorts, financial, bodily, mental, spiritual--all come from god, and necessitate a constant touch with him. there needs to be a constant stream of petition going up, many times wordless prayer. and there will be a constant return stream of answer and supply coming down. the door between god and one's own self must be kept ever open. the knob to be turned is on our side. he opened his side long ago, and propped it open, and threw the knob away. the whole life hinges upon this continual intercourse with our wondrous god. this is the second stage or form of prayer. it concerns just two: god and the man dealing with god. it is subjective in its influence: _its reach is within_. the third form of prayer is _intercession_. true prayer never stops with petition for one's self. it reaches out for others. the very word intercession implies a reaching out for some one else. it is standing as a go-between, a mutual friend, between god and some one who is either out of touch with him, or is needing special help. intercession is the climax of prayer. it is the outward drive of prayer. it is the effective end of prayer _outward_. communion and petition are upward and downward. intercession rests upon these two as its foundation. communion and petition store the life with the power of god; intercession lets it out on behalf of others. the first two are necessarily for self; this third is for others. they ally a man fully with god: it makes use of that alliance for others. intercession is the full-bloomed plant whose roots and strength lie back and down in the other two forms. _it_ is the form of prayer that helps god in his great love-plan for winning a planet back to its true sphere. it will help through these talks to keep this simple analysis of prayer in mind. for much that will be said will deal chiefly with this third form, intercession, the outward movement of prayer. <u>the climax of prayer.</u> to god man is first an objective point, and then, without ceasing to be that, he further becomes a distributing centre. god ever thinks of a man doubly: first for his own self, and then for his possible use in reaching others. communion and petition fix and continue one's relation to god, and so prepare for the great outreaching form of prayer--intercession. prayer must begin in the first two but reaches its climax in the third. communion and petition are of necessity self-wide. intercession is world-wide in its reach. and all true rounded prayer will ever have all three elements in it. there must be the touch with god. one's constant needs make constant petition. but the heart of the true follower has caught the warm contagion of the heart of god and reaches out hungrily for the world. intercession is the climax of prayer. much is said of the subjective and objective value of prayer; its influence upon one's self, and its possible influence upon persons and events quite outside of one's self. of necessity the first two sorts of prayer here named are subjective; they have to do wholly with one's self. of equal necessity intercessory prayer is objective; it has to do wholly with others. there is even here a reflex influence; in the first two directly subjective; here incidentally reflex. contact with god while dealing with him for another of necessity influences me. but that is the mere fringe of the garment. the main driving purpose is outward. just now in certain circles it seems quite the thing to lay great stress upon the subjective value of prayer and to whittle down small, or, deny entirely its value in influencing others. some who have the popular ear are quite free with tongue and pen in this direction. from both without and within distinctly christian circles their voices come. one wonders if these friends lay the greater emphasis on the subjective value of prayer so as to get a good deep breath for their hard drive at the other. yet the greater probability is that they honestly believe as they say, but have failed to grasp the full perspective of the picture. in listening to such statements one remembers with vivid distinctness that the scriptural _standpoint_ always is this: that things quite outside of one's self, that in the natural order of prevailing circumstances would not occur, are made to occur through prayer. jesus constantly so _assumed_. the first-flush, commonsense view of successful prayer is that some actual result is secured through its agency. it is an utter begging of the question to advance such a theory as a sufficient explanation of prayer. for prayer in its simplest conception supposes something changed that is not otherwise reachable. both from the scriptural, and from a rugged philosophical standpoint the objective is the real driving point of all full prayer. the subjective is in order to the objective, as the final outward climactic reach of god's great love-plan for a world. <u>six facts underlying prayer.</u> it will help greatly to step back and up a bit for a fresh look at certain facts that underlie prayer. everything depends on a right point of view. there may be many view-points, from which to study any subject; but of necessity any one view-point must take in all the essential facts concerned. if not, the impression formed will be wrong, and a man will be misled in his actions. in these talks i make no attempt to prove the bible's statements, nor to suggest a common law for their interpretation. that would be a matter for quite a separate series of talks. it clears the ground to assume certain things. i am assuming the accuracy of these scriptural statements. and i am glad to say i have no difficulty in doing so. now there are certain facts constantly stated and assumed in this old book. they are clearly stated in its history, they are woven into its songs, and they underlie all these prophetic writings, from genesis clear to the end of john's patmos visions. possibly they have been so familiar and taken for granted so long as to have grown unfamiliar. the very old may need stating as though very new. here is a chain of six facts: first:--the earth is the lord's and the fullness thereof.[ ] his by creation and by sovereign rule. the lord sat as king at the flood.[ ] second:--god gave the dominion of the earth to man. the kingship of its life, the control and mastery of its forces.[ ] third:--man, who held the dominion of the earth in trust from god, transferred his dominion to somebody else, by an act which was a double act. he was deceived into doing that act. it was an act of disobedience and of obedience. disobedience to god, and obedience to another one, a prince who was seeking to get the dominion of the earth into his own hands. that act of the first man did this. the disobedience broke with god, and transferred the allegiance from god. the obedience to the other one transferred the allegiance, and through that, the dominion to this other one. the fourth fact is this:--the dominion or kingship of this earth so far as given to man, is now not god's, for he gave it to man. and it is not man's, for he has transferred it to another. it is in the control of that magnificent prince whose changed character supplies his name--satan, the hater, the enemy. jesus repeatedly speaks of "the prince"--that is the ruling one--"of this world."[ ] john speaks in his vision-book of a time coming when "the kingdom (not kingdoms, as in the old version) of the world is become the kingdom of our lord, and of his christ."[ ] by clear inference previous to that time it is somebody's else kingdom than his. the kingship or rulership of the earth which was given to man is now satan's. the fifth fact:--god was eager to swing the world back to its original sway: for his own sake, for man's sake, for the earth's sake. you see, we do not know god's world as it came from his hand. it is a rarely beautiful world even yet--the stars above, the plant life, the waters, the exquisite colouring and blending, the combinations of all these--an exquisitely beautiful world even yet. but it is not the world it was, nor that some coming day it will be. it has been sadly scarred and changed under its present ruler. probably eve would not recognize in the present world her early home-earth as it came fresh from the hand of its maker. god was eager to swing the old world back to its original control. but to do so he must get a man, one of the original trustee class through whom he might swing it back to its first allegiance. it was given to man. it was swung away by man. it must be swung back by man. and so a man came, and while jesus was perfectly and utterly human, we spell that word man with a capital m because he was a man quite distinct from all men. because he was more truly human than all other men he is quite apart from other men. this man was to head a movement for swinging the world back to its first allegiance. the sixth fact is this:--these two, god's man, and the pretender-prince, had a combat: the most terrific combat ever waged or witnessed. from the cruel, malicious cradle attack until calvary's morning and two days longer it ran. through those thirty-three years it continued with a terrificness and intensity unknown before or since. the master-prince of subtlety and force did his best and his worst, through those nazareth years, then into the wilderness,--and gethsemane--and calvary. and that day at three o'clock and for a bit longer the evil one thought he had won. and there was great glee up in the headquarters of the prince of this world. they thought the victory was theirs when god's man lay in the grave under the bars of death, within the immediate control of the lord of death. but the third morning came and the bars of death were snapped like cotton thread. _jesus rose a victor._ for it was not possible that such as _he_ could be held by death's lord. and then satan knew that he was defeated. jesus, god's man, the king's rightful prince, had gotten the victory. but, please mark very carefully four sub-facts on satan's side. first, he refuses to acknowledge his defeat. second, he refuses to surrender his dominion until he must. he yields only what he must and when he must. third, he is supported in his ambitions by man. he has man's consent to his control. the majority of men on the earth to-day, and in every day, have assented to his control. he has control only through man's consent. (satan _can_not get into a man's heart without his consent, and god _will_ not.) and, fourth, he hopes yet to make his possession of the earth permanent. <u>the victor's great plan.</u> now, hold your breath and note, on the side of the victor-prince, this unparalleled and unimitated action: he has left the conflict open, and the defeated chief on the field that he may win not simply against the chief, but through that victory may win the whole prodigal race back to his father's home circle again. but the great pitched battle is yet to come. i would better say _a_ pitched battle, for the greatest one is past. jesus rides into the future fight a victor. satan will fight his last fight under the shadow and sting of a defeat. satan is apparently trying hard to get a jesus. that is to say jesus was god's man sent down to swing the world back. satan is trying his best to get _a man_--one of the original trustee class, to whom the dominion of the earth was intrusted--a man who will stand for him even as jesus stood for god. indeed a man who will personify himself even as jesus was the personification of god, the express image of his person. when he shall succeed in that the last desperate crisis will come. _now prayer is this: a man_, one of the original trustee class, who received the earth in trust from god, and who gave its control over to satan; a man, _on the earth_, the poor old satan-stolen, sin-slimed, sin-cursed, contested earth; a man, on the earth, _with his life in full touch with the victor, and sheer out of touch with the pretender-prince, insistently claiming that satan shall yield before jesus'-victory, step by step, life after life_. jesus is the victor. satan knows it, and fears him. he must yield before his advance, and he must yield before this man who stands for jesus down on the earth. and he _will_ yield. reluctantly, angrily, as slowly as may be, stubbornly contesting every inch of ground, his clutches will loosen and he will go before this jesus-man. jesus said "the prince of the world cometh: and he hath nothing in me."[ ] when you and i say, as we may say, very humbly depending on his grace, very determinedly in the resolution of our own imperial will, "though the prince of this world come he shall have nothing in me, no coaling station however small on the shores of my life," then we shall be in position where satan must yield as we claim--victory in the victor's name. does prayer influence god? <u>how god gives.</u> some one may object to all this that the statements of god's word do not agree with this point of view. at random memory brings up a few very familiar passages, frequently quoted. "call unto me, and i will answer thee, and will shew thee great things, and difficult, that thou knowest not."[ ] "and call upon me in the day of trouble; i will deliver thee and thou shalt glorify me."[ ] "ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."[ ] here it seems, as we have for generations been accustomed to think, that our asking is the thing that influences god to do. and further, that many times persistent, continued asking is necessary to induce god to do. and the usual explanation for this need of persistence is that god is testing our faith, and seeking to make certain changes in us, before granting our requests. this explanation is without doubt quite true, _in part_. yet the thing to mark is that it explains _only_ in part. and when the whole circle of truth is brought into view, this explanation is found to cover only a small part of the whole. we seem to learn best about god by analogies. the analogy never brings all there is to be learned. yet it seems to be the nearest we can get. from what we know of ourselves we come to know him. will you notice how men give? among those who give to benevolent enterprises there are three sorts of givers, with variations in each. there is the man who gives because he is influenced by others. if the right man or committee of men call, and deftly present their pleas, playing skillfully upon what may appeal to him; his position; his egotism; the possible advantage to accrue; what men whom he wants to be classed with are doing, and so on through the wide range that such men are familiar with; if they persist, by and by he gives. at first he seems reluctant, but finally gives with more or less grace. that is one sort of giver. there is a second sort: the man of truly benevolent heart who is desirous of giving that he may be of help to other men. he listens attentively when pleas come to him, and waits only long enough to satisfy himself of the worth of the cause, and the proper sort of amount to give, and then gives. there is a third sort, the rarest sort. this second man a stage farther on, who _takes the initiative_. he looks about him, makes inquiries, and thinks over the great need in every direction of his fellow men. he decides where his money may best be used to help; and then himself offers to give. but his gift may be abused by some who would get his money if they could, and use it injudiciously, or otherwise than he intends. so he makes certain conditions which must be met, the purpose of which is to establish sympathetic relations in some particular with those whom he would help. an englishman's heart is strongly moved to get the story of jesus to the inland millions of chinese. he requests the china-inland mission to control the expenditure of almost a million dollars of his money in such a way as best to secure the object in his heart. an american gives a large sum to the young men's christian association of his home city to be expended as directed. his thought is not to build up this particular organization, but to benefit large numbers of the young men of his town who will meet certain conditions which he thinks to be for their good. he has learned to trust this organization, and so it becomes his trustee. another man feels that if the people of new york city can be given good reading they can thereby best be helped in life. and so he volunteers money for a number of libraries throughout that city. and thousands who yearn to increase their knowledge come into sympathy with him in that one point through his gift. in all such cases the giver's thought is to accomplish certain results in those whose purpose in certain directions is sympathetic with his own. any human illustration of god must seem crude. yet of these three sorts of givers there is one and only one that begins to suggest how god gives. it may seem like a very sweeping statement to make, yet i am more and more disposed to believe it true that _most persons_ have unthinkingly thought of god's answering prayer as the first of these three men give. many others have had in mind some such thought as the second suggests. yet to state the case even thus definitely is to make it plain that neither of these ways in any manner illustrate god's giving. the third comes the nearest to picturing the god who hears and answers prayer. our god has a great heart yearning after his poor prodigal world, and after each one in it. he longs to have the effects of sin removed, and the original image restored. he takes the initiative. yet everything that is done for man must of necessity be through man's will; by his free and glad consent. the obstacles in the way are not numberless nor insurmountable, but they are many and they are stubborn. there is a keen, cunning pretender-prince who is a past-master in the fine art of handling men. there are wills warped and weakened; consciences blurred; minds the opposite of keen, sensibilities whose edge has been dulled beyond ordinary hope of being ever made keen again. sin has not only stained the life, but warped the judgment, sapped the will, and blurred the mental vision. and god has a hard time just because every change must of necessity be through that sapped and warped will. yet the difficulty though great is never complex but very simple. and so the statement of his purpose is ever exquisitely simple. listen again: "call unto me, and i will answer thee and shew thee great things and difficult which thou knowest not." if a man call he has already turned his face towards god. his will has acted, and acted doubly; away from the opposite, and _towards_ god, a simple step but a tremendous one. the calling is the point of sympathetic contact with god where their purposes become the same. the caller is beset by difficulties and longs for freedom. the god who speaks to him saw the difficulties long ago and eagerly longed to remove them. now they have come to agreement. and through this willing will god eagerly works out his purpose. <u>a very old question.</u> this leads to a very old question: does prayer influence god? no question has been discussed more, or more earnestly. skeptical men of fine scientific training have with great positiveness said "no." and christian men of scholarly training and strong faith have with equal positiveness said "yes." strange to say both have been right. not right in all their statements, nor right in all their beliefs, nor right in all their processes of thinking, but right in their ultimate conclusions as represented by these short words, "no," and "yes." prayer does not influence god. prayer surely does influence god. it does not influence his purpose. it does influence his action. everything that ever has been prayed for, of course i mean every right thing, god has already purposed to do. but he does nothing without our consent. he has been hindered in his purposes by our lack of willingness. when we learn his purposes and make them our prayers we are giving him the opportunity to act. it is a double opportunity: manward and satanward. we are willing. our willingness checkmates satan's opposition. it opens the path to god and rids it of the obstacles. and so the road is cleared for the free action already planned. the further question of nature's laws being sometimes set aside is wholly a secondary matter. nature's laws are merely god's habit of action in handling secondary forces. they involve no purpose of god. his purposes are regarding moral issues. that the sun shall stay a bit longer than usual over a certain part of the earth is a mere detail with god. it does not affect his power for the whole affair is under his finger. it does not affect his purpose for that as concerning far more serious matters. the emergencies of earth wrought by sin necessitate just such incidents, that the great purpose of god for man shall be accomplished. emergencies change all habits of action, divine and human. they are the real test of power. if a man throw down the bundle he is carrying and make a quick wild dash out into the middle of the street, dropping his hat on the way, and grasp convulsively for something on the ground when no cause appears for such action we would quickly conclude that the proper place for him is an asylum. but if a little toddling child is almost under the horse's hoofs, or the trolley car, no one thinks of criticising, but instead admires his courage, and quick action, and breathlessly watches for the result. emergencies call for special action. they should control actions, where they exist. emergencies explain action, and explain satisfactorily what nothing else could explain. _the world is in a great emergency through sin._ only as that tremendous fact grips us shall we be men of prayer, and men of action up to the limit of the need, and to the limit of the possibilities. only as that intense fact is kept in mind shall we begin to understand god's actions in history, and in our personal experiences. the greatest event of earth, the cross, was an emergency action. the fact that prayer does not make any change in god's thought or purpose, reveals his marvellous love in a very tender way. suppose i want something very much and _need_ as well as want. and i go to god and ask for it. and suppose he is reluctant about giving: had not thought about giving me that thing; and rather hesitates. but i am insistent, and plead and persist and by and by god is impressed with my earnestness, and sees that i really need the thing, and answers my prayer, and gives me what i ask. is not that a loving god so to listen and yield to my plea? surely. how many times just such an instance has taken place between a child and his father, or mother. and the child thinks to himself, "how loving father is; he has given me the thing i asked for." but suppose god is thinking about me all the time, and planning, with love-plans for me, and longing to give me much that he has. yet in his wisdom he does not give because i do not know my own need, and have not opened my hand to receive, yes, and, further yet, likely as not, not knowing my need i might abuse, or misuse, or fail to use, something given before i had felt the need of it. and now i come to see and feel that need and come and ask and he, delighted with the change in me, eagerly gives. tell me, is not that a very much more loving god than the other conception suggests? the truth is _that_ is god. jesus says, "your father knoweth what things ye have need of _before ye ask_." and he is a father. and with god the word father means mother too. then what he _knows_ we need he has _already planned_ to give. the great question for me then in praying for some personal thing is this: do _i_ know what _he_ knows i need? am i thinking about what he is thinking about for me? and then remember that god is so much more in his loving planning than the wisest, most loving father we know. does a mother think into her child's needs, the food, and clothing and the extras too, the luxuries? that is god, only he is more loving and wiser than the best of us. i have sometimes thought this: that if god were to say to me: "i want to give you something as a special love-gift; an extra because i love you: what would you like to have?" do you know i have thought i would say, "dear god, _you_ choose. _i_ choose what _you_ choose." he is thinking about me. he knows what i am thinking of, and what i would most enjoy, and he is such a lover-god that he would choose something just a bit finer than i would think. i might be thinking of a dollar, but likely as not he is thinking of a double eagle. i am thinking of blackberries, big, juicy blackberries, but really i do not know what blackberries are beside the sort he knows and would choose for me. that is our god. prayer does not and cannot change the purpose of such a god. for every right and good thing we might ask for he has already planned to give us. but prayer does change the action of god. because he cannot give against our wills, and our willingness as expressed by our asking gives him the opportunity to do as he has already planned. <u>the greatest prayer.</u> there is a greatest prayer, _the_ greatest that can be offered. it is the substratum of every true prayer. it is the undercurrent in the stream of all spirit-breathed prayer. jesus himself gives it to us in the only form of prayer he left for our use. it is small in size, but mighty in power. four words--"thy will be done." let us draw up our chairs, and _brew_ it over mentally, that its strength and fragrance may come up into our nostrils, and fill our very beings. "_thy_": that is god. on one side, he is wise, with all of the intellectual strength, and keenness and poised judgment that that word among men brings to us. on another side, he is strong, with all that that word can imply of might and power irresistible. on still another side he is good, pure, holy with the finest thought those words ever suggest to us in those whom we know best, or in our dreams and visions. then on a side remaining, the tender personal side, he is--loving? no, that is quite inadequate. he is _love_. its personification is he. now remember that we do not know the meaning of those words. our best definition and thought of them, even in our dreams, when we let ourselves out, but hang around the outskirts. the heart of them we do not know. those words mean infinitely more than we think. their meaning is a projection along the lines of our thought of them, but measurelessly beyond our highest reach. and then, this god, wise, strong, good, and love, _is kin to us_. we belong to him. "we are his flock; he doth us feed. and for his sheep, he doth us take." we are his children by creation, and by a new creation in jesus christ. he is ours, by his own act. that is the "thy"--a god wise, strong, pure, who is love, and who is a father-mother-god, and is _our_ god. "thy _will_." god's will is his desires, his purposes, that which he wishes to occur, and that to which he gives his strength that it may occur. the earth is his creation. men are his children. judging from wise loving parents among men he has given himself to thinking and studying and planning for all men, and every man, and for the earth. his plan is the most wise, pure, loving plan that can be thought of, _and more._ it takes in the whole sweep of our lives, and every detail of them. nothing escapes the love-vigilance of our god. what _can_ be so vigilant and keen as love? hate, the exact reverse, comes the nearest. it is ever the extremes that meet. but hate cannot come up to love for keen watchfulness at every turn. health, strength, home, loved ones, friendships, money, guidance, protecting care, the necessities, the extras that love ever thinks of, service--all these are included in god's loving thought for us. that is his will. it is modified by the degree of our consent, and further modified by the circumstances of our lives. life has become a badly tangled skein of threads. god with infinite patience and skill is at work untangling and bringing the best possible out of the tangle. what is absolutely best is rarely relatively best. that which is best in itself is usually not best under certain circumstances, with human lives in the balance. god has fathomless skill, and measureless patience, and a love utterly beyond both. he is ever working out the best thing possible under every circumstance. he could oftentimes do more, and do it in much less time if our human wills were more pliant to his. he can be trusted. and of course _trust_ means _trust in the darkest dark_ where you cannot see. and trust means trust. it does not mean test. where you trust you do not test. where you test you do not trust. making this our prayer means trusting god. that is god, and that his will, and that the meaning of our offering this prayer. "thy will _be_." a man's will is the man in action, within the limits of his power. god's will for man is himself in action, within the limits of our cooperation. _be_ is a verb, an action-word, in the passive voice. it takes some form of the verb to be to express the passive voice of any action-word. it takes the intensest activity of will to put this passive voice into human action. the greatest strength is revealed in intelligent yielding. here the prayer is expressing the utter willingness of a man that god's will shall be done in him, and through him. a man never _loses_ his will, unless indeed he lose his manhood. but here he makes that will as strong as it can be made, as a bit of steel, better like the strong oak, strong enough to sway and bend in the wind. then he uses all its strength in becoming passive to a higher will. and that too when the purpose of that higher will is not clear to his own limited knowledge and understanding. "thy will be _done_." that is, be accomplished, be brought to pass. the word stands for the action in its perfected, finished state. thy will be fully accomplished in its whole sweep and in all its items. it speaks not only the earnest desire of the heart praying, but the set purpose that everything in the life is held subject to the doing of this purpose of god. it means that surrender of purpose that has utterly changed the lives of the strongest men in order that the purpose of god might be dominant. it cut off from a great throne earth's greatest jurist, the hebrew lawgiver, and led him instead to be allied to a race of slaves. it led that intellectual giant jeremiah from an easy enjoyable leadership to espouse a despised cause and so be himself despised. it led paul from the leadership of his generation in a great nation to untold suffering, and to a block and an ax. it led jesus the very son of god, away from a kingship to a cross. in every generation it has radically changed lives, and life-ambitions. "thy will be done" is the great dominant purpose-prayer that has been the pathway of god in all his great doings among men. that will is being done everywhere else in god's great world of worlds, save on the earth and that portion of the spirit world allied to this earth. everywhere else there is the perfect music of harmony with god's will. here only is heard the harsh discordant note. with this prayer go two clauses that really particularize and explain it. they are included in it, and are added to make more clear the full intent. the first of these clauses gives the sweep of his will in its broadest outlines. the second touches the opposition to that will both for our individual lives and for the race and the earth. the first clause is this, "thy kingdom come." in both of these short sentences, "thy will be done," "thy kingdom come," the emphatic word is "thy." that word is set in sharpest possible contrast here. there is another kingdom now on the earth. there is another will being done. this other kingdom must go if god's kingdom is to come. these kingdoms are antagonistic at every point of contact. they are rivals for the same allegiance and the same territory. they cannot exist together. charles ii and cromwell cannot remain in london together. "thy kingdom come," of necessity includes this, "the other kingdom go." "thy kingdom come" means likewise "thy king come," for in the nature of things there cannot be a kingdom without a king. that means again by the same inference, "the other prince go," the one who makes pretensions to being rightful heir to the throne. "thy will be done" includes by the same inference this:--"the other will be undone." this is the first great explanatory clause to be connected with this greatest prayer, "thy kingdom come." it gives the sweep of god's will in its broadest outlines. the second clause included in the prayer, and added to make clear the swing of action is this--"deliver us from the evil one." these two sentences, "thy will be done," and "deliver us from the evil one," are naturally connected. each statement includes the other. to have god's will fully done in us means emancipation from every influence of the evil one, either direct or indirect, or by hereditary taint. to be delivered from the evil one means that every thought and plan of god for our lives shall be fully carried out. there are the two great wills at work in the world ever clashing in the action of history and in our individual lives. in many of us, aye, in all of us, though in greatly varying degree, these two wills constantly clash. man is the real battle-field. the pitch of the battle is in his will. god will not do his will in a man without the man's will consenting. and satan cannot. at the root the one thing that works against god's will is the evil one's will. and on the other hand the one thing that effectively thwarts satan's plans is a man wholly given up to god's will. the greatest prayer then fully expressed, sweeps first the whole field of action, then touches the heart of the action, and then attacks the opposition. it is this:--thy kingdom come: thy will be done: deliver us from the evil one. every true prayer ever offered comes under this simple comprehensive prayer. it may be offered, it _is_ offered with an infinite variety of detail. it is greatest because of its sweep. it includes all other petitions, for god's will includes everything for which prayer is rightly offered. it is greatest in its intensity. it hits the very bull's-eye of opposition to god. ii. hindrances to prayer . why the results fail. . why the results are delayed. . the great outside hindrance, or, the relation of prayer to satan. why the results fail <u>breaking with god.</u> god answers prayer. prayer is god and man joining hands to secure some high end. he joins with us through the communication of prayer in accomplishing certain great results. this is the main drive of prayer. our asking and expecting and god's doing jointly bring to pass things that otherwise would not come to pass. prayer changes things. this is the great fact of prayer. yet a great many prayers are not answered. or, to put it more accurately, a great many prayers fail utterly of accomplishing any results. probably it is accurate to say that _thousands_ of prayers go up and bring nothing down. this is certainly true. let us say it just as bluntly and plainly as it can be said. as a result many persons are saying: "well, prayer is not what you claim for it: we prayed and no answer came: nothing was changed." from all sorts of circles, and in all sorts of language comes this statement. scholarly men who write with wisdom's words, and thoughtless people whose thinking never even pricks the skin of the subject, and all sorts of people in between group themselves together here. and they are right, quite right. the bother is that what they say is not all there is to be said. there is yet more to be said, that is right too, and that changes the final conclusion radically. partial truth is a very mean sort of lie. the prayer plan like many another has been much disturbed, and often broken. and one who would be a partner with god up to the limit of his power must understand the things that hinder the prayer plan. there are three sorts of hindrances to prayer. first of all there are things in us that _break off connection_ with god, the source of the changing power. then there are certain things in us that _delay, or diminish_ the results; that interfere with the full swing of the prayer plan of operations. and then there is a great _outside_ hindrance to be reckoned upon. to-day we want to talk together of the first of these, namely, the hindrances that _break off connections_ between god and his human partner. here again there is a division into three. there are three things directly spoken of in the book of god that hinder prayer. one of these is a familiar thing. what a pity that repugnant things may become so familiar as no longer to repel. it is this:--_sin_ hinders prayer. in isaiah's first chapter god himself speaking says, "when you stretch out your hands"--the way they prayed, standing with outstretched hands--"i will shut my eyes; when you make many prayers, i will shut my ears."[ ] why? what's the difficulty? these outstretched hands are _soiled!_ they are actually holding their sin-soiled hands up into god's face; and he is compelled to look at the thing most hateful to him. in the fifty-ninth chapter of this same book,[ ] god himself is talking again. listen "behold! the _lord's_ hand is not shortened: _his_ ear is not heavy." there is no trouble on the _up_ side. god is all right. "but"--listen with both your ears--"your _iniquities_ ... your _sins_ ... your _hands_ ... your _fingers_ ... your _lips_ ... your _tongue_ ..." the slime of sin is oozing over everything! turn back to that sixty-sixth psalm[ ]--"if i regard iniquity in my heart the lord will not hear me." how much more if the sin of the heart get into the hands or the life! and the fact to put down plainly in blackest ink once for all is this--_sin hinders prayer_. there is nothing surprising about this. that we can think the reverse is the surprising thing. prayer is transacting business with god. sin is _breaking with god_. suppose i had a private wire from my apartments here to my home in cleveland, and some one should go outside and drag the wire down until it touches the ground--a good square touch with the ground--the electricians would call it grounded, could i telegraph over that wire? almost any child knows i could not. suppose some one _cuts_ the wire, a good clean cut; the two ends are apart: not a mile; not a yard; but distinctly apart. could i telegraph on that wire? of course not. yet i might sit in my room and tick away by the hour wholly absorbed, and use most beautiful persuasive language--what is the good? the wire's cut. all my fine pleading goes into the ground, or the air. now _sin cuts the wire;_ it runs the message into the ground. "well," some one will object, "now you're cutting us all out, are you not? are we not all conscious of a sinful something inside here that has to be fought, and held under all the while?" it certainly seems to be true that the nearer a man gets to god the more keenly conscious he is of a sinful tendency within even while having continual victory. but plainly enough what the book means here is this:--if i am holding something in my life that the master does not like, if i am failing to obey when his voice has spoken, that to me is sin. it may be wrong in itself. it may _not_ be wrong in itself. it may not be wrong for another. sometimes it is not the thing involved but the one involved that makes the issue. if that faithful quiet inner voice has spoken and i know what the master would prefer and i fail to keep in line, that to me is sin. then prayer is useless; sheer waste of breath. aye, worse, it is deceptive. for i am apt to say or think, "well, i am not as good as you, or you, but then i am not so bad; _i pray._" and the truth is because i have broken with god the praying--saying words in that form--is utterly worthless. you see _sin is slapping god in the face_. it may be polished, cultured sin. sin seems capable of taking quite a high polish. or it may be the common gutter stuff. a man is not concerned about the grain of a club that strikes him a blow. how can he and i talk together if i have done that, and stick to it--not even apologized. and of what good is an apology if the offense is being repeated. and if we cannot talk together of course working together is out of the question. and prayer is working together with god. prayer is _pulling with god_ in his plan for a world. shall we not put out the thing that is wrong? or put in the thing the master wants in? for _jesus'_ sake? aye for _men's_ sake: poor befooled men's sake who are being kept out and away because god cannot get at them through us! shall we bow and ask forgiveness for our sin, and petty stubbornness that has been thwarting the master's love-plan? and yet even while we ask forgiveness there are lives out yonder warped and dwarfed and worse because of the hindrance in us; yes, and remaining so as we slip out of this meeting. may the fact send us out to walk very softly these coming days. <u>a coaling station for satan's fleet.</u> there is a second thing that is plainly spoken of that hinders prayer. james speaks of it in his letter.[ ] "ye have not because ye _ask_ not"--that explains many parched up lives and churches and unsolved problems: no pipe lines run up to tap the reservoir, and give god an opening into the troubled territory. then he pushes on to say--"ye ask, _and receive not_"--ah! there's just the rub; it is evidently an old story, this thing of not receiving--why? "because ye ask amiss to spend it _in your pleasures_." that is to say selfish praying; asking for something just because i want it; want it for myself. here is a mother praying for her boy. he is just growing up towards young manhood; not a christian boy yet; but a good boy. she is thinking, "i want _my_ boy to be an honour to me; he bears my name; my blood is in his veins; i don't want my boy to be a prodigal. i want him to be a fine man, an honour to the family; and if he is a true christian, he likely will be; _i wish he were a christian_." and so she prays, and prays repeatedly and fervently. god might touch her boy's heart and say, "i want you out here in india to help win my prodigal world back." _oh!_ she did not mean that! _her_ boy in far, far off _india!_ oh, no! not that!! yes, what _she_ wanted--that was the whole thought--selfishness; the stream turning in to a dead sea within her own narrow circle; no thought of sympathy with god in his eager outreach for his poor sin-befooled world. the prayer itself in its object is perfectly proper, and rightly offered and answered times without number; but the _motive_ wholly, uglily selfish and the selfishness itself becomes a foothold for satan and so the purpose of the prayer is thwarted. here is a wife praying that her husband might become a christian. perhaps her thought is: "i wish john _were_ a christian: it would be so good: it really seems the proper thing: he would go to church with me, and sit in the pew sunday morning: i'd like that." perhaps she thinks: "he would be careful about swearing; he would quit drinking; and be nicer and gentler at home." maybe she thinks: "he would ask a blessing at the meals; that would be so nice." maybe she thinks: "we would have family prayers." _maybe_ that does not occur to her these days. this is what i say: _if_ her thought does not go beyond some such range, of course _you_ would say it is selfish. she is thinking of herself; not of the loving grieved god against whom her husband is in rebellion; not of the real significance to the man. god might touch her husband's heart, and then say: "i want you to help me win my poor world back." and the change would mean a reduced income, and a different social position. _oh!_ she had not meant _that!_ yes--what _she_ wanted for herself! here is a minister praying for a revival in his church. maybe he is thinking; no, not exactly thinking; it is just half thinking itself out in his sub-consciousness--"i wish we had a good revival in our church; increased membership; larger attendance; easier finances; may be an extra hundred or two in my own pocket; increased prestige in the denomination; a better call or appointment: i wish we might have a revival." now no true minister ever talked that way even to himself or deliberately thought it. to do so would be to see the mean contemptibility of it. but you know how sly we all are in our underneath scarcely-thought-out thoughts. this is what i say: _if_ that be the sort of thing underneath a man's praying of course the motive is utterly selfish; a bit of the same thing that brought satan his change of name and character. please notice that the reason for the prayer not being answered here is not an arbitrary reluctance upon god's part to do a desirable thing. he never fails to work whenever he has a half chance as far as it is possible to work, even through men of faulty conceptions and mixed motives. the reason lies much deeper. it is this: selfishness gives satan a footing. it gives a coaling station for his fleet on the shore of your life. and of course he does his best to prevent the prayer, or when he cannot wholly prevent, to spoil the results as far as he can. prayer may properly be offered--_will_ be properly offered for many wholly personal things; for physical strength, healing in sickness, about dearly loved ones, money needed; indeed regarding things that may not be necessary but only desirable and enjoyable, for ours is a loving god who would have his dear ones enjoy to the full their lives down here. but the _motive_ determines the propriety of such requests. where the whole purpose of one's life is _for him_ these things may be asked for freely as his gracious spirit within guides. and there need be no bondage of morbid introspection, no continual internal rakings. _he knows if the purpose of the heart is to please him_. <u>the shortest way to god.</u> a third thing spoken of as hindering prayer is an unforgiving spirit. you have noticed that jesus speaks much about prayer and also speaks much about forgiveness. but have you noticed how, over and over again he _couples_ these two--prayer _and_ forgiveness? i used to wonder why. i do not so much now. nearly everywhere evidence keeps slipping in of the sore spots. one may try to keep his lips closed on certain subjects, but it seems about impossible to keep the ears entirely shut. and continually the evidence keeps sifting in revealing the thin skin, raw flesh, wounds never healed over, and some jaggedly open, almost everywhere one goes. jesus' continual references reveal how strikingly alike is the oriental and the occidental; the first and the twentieth centuries. run through matthew alone a moment. here in the fifth chapter:[ ] "if thou are coming to the altar"--that is approaching god; what we call prayer--"and rememberest that thy brother hath aught _against thee_"--that side of it--"leave there thy gift and go thy way, _first_ be reconciled," and so on. here comes a man with a lamb to offer. he approaches solemnly, reverently, towards the altar of god. but as he is coming there flashes across his mind the face of _that man_, with whom he has had difficulty. and instantly he can feel his grip tightening on the offering, and his teeth shutting closer at the quick memory. jesus says, "if that be so lay your lamb right down." what! go abruptly away! why! how the folks around the temple will talk! "lay the lamb right down, and go thy way." the shortest way to god for that man is not the way to the altar, but around by that man's house. "_first_, be reconciled"--keep your perspective straight--follow the right order--"_first_ be reconciled"--not _second; "then_ come and offer thy gift." in the sixth chapter[ ] he gives the form of prayer which we commonly call the lord's prayer. it contains seven petitions. at the close he stops to emphasize just one of the seven. you remember which one; the one about forgiveness. in the eighteenth chapter[ ] jesus is talking alone with the disciples about prayer. peter seems to remember the previous remarks about forgiveness in connection with prayer; and he asks a question. it is never difficult to think of peter asking a question or making a few remarks. he says, "master, how many times _must_ i forgive a man? _seven_ times!" apparently peter thinks he is growing in grace. he can actually _think_ now of forgiving a man seven times in succession. but the master in effect says, "peter, you haven't caught the idea. forgiveness is not a question of mathematics; not a matter of _keeping tab_ on somebody: not seven times but _seventy times seven._" and peter's eyes bulge open with an incredulous stare--"four hundred and ninety times!... one man--straightway!!" apparently the master is thinking, that he will lose count, or get tired of counting and conclude that forgiveness is preferable, or else by practice _breathe in the spirit of forgiveness--the_ thing he meant. then as he was so fond of doing jesus told a story to illustrate his meaning. a man owed his lord a great debt, twelve millions of dollars; that is to say practically an _unpayable_ amount. by comparison with money to-day, in the western world, it would be about twelve billions. and he went to him and asked for time. he said: "i'm short just now; but i mean to pay; i don't mean to shirk: be easy with me; and i'll pay up the whole sum in time." and his lord generously forgave him the whole debt. that is jesus' picture of god, as he knows him who knows him best. then this forgiven man went out and found a fellow servant who owed him--how much do you think? have you ever thought that jesus had a keen sense of the ludicrous? surely it shows here. he owed him about sixteen dollars and a-quarter or a-half! and you can almost feel the clutch of this fellow's fingers on the other's throat as he sternly demands:--"pay me that thou owest." and his fellow earnestly replies, "please be easy with me; i mean to pay; i'm rather short just now: but i'm not trying to shirk; be easy with me." is it possible the words do not sound familiar! but he would not, but put him in the jail. the last place to pay a debt! that is jesus' picture of man as he knows him who knows him best. and in effect he says what we have been forgiven by god is as an unpayable amount. and what are not willing to forgive is like sixteen dollars and a fraction by contrast. what little puny folks some of us are in our thinking and feeling! "oh, well," some one says, "you do not know how hard it is to forgive." you think not? i know this much:--that some persons, and some things you _can_not forgive of yourself. but i am glad to say that i know this too that if one allows the spirit of jesus to sway the heart he will make you love persons you _can_not like. no natural affinity or drawing together through disposition, but a real yearning love in the heart. jesus' love, when allowed to come in as freely as he means, fills your heart with pity for the man who has wounded you. an infinite, tender pity that he has sunk so low as to be capable of such actions. but the fact to put down in the sharpest contrast of white and black is that we must forgive freely, frankly, generously, "_even as god_," if we are to be in prayer touch with god. and the reason is not far to find; a double reason, godward and satanward. if prayer be partnership in the highest sense then the same spirit must animate both partners, the human and the divine, if the largest results are to come. and since unforgiveness roots itself down in hate satan has room for both feet in such a heart with all the leeway in action of such purchase. that word _unforgiving_! what a group of relatives it has, near and far! jealousy, envy, bitterness, the cutting word, the polished shaft of sarcasm with the poisoned tip, the green eye, the acid saliva--what kinsfolk these! <u>search me.</u> sin, selfishness, an unforgiving spirit--what searchlights these words are! many a splendid life to-day is an utter cipher in the spirit atmosphere because of some such hindrance. and god's great love-plan for his prodigal world is being held back; and lives being lost even where ultimately souls shall be saved because of the lack of human prayer partners. may we not well pray:--search me, oh god, and know my heart and help me know it; try me and know my innermost, undermost thoughts and purposes and ambitions, and help me know them; and see what way there be in me that is a grief to thee; and then lead me--and here the prayer may be a purpose as well as a prayer--lead me out of that way unto _thy_ way, _the_ way everlasting. for jesus' sake; aye for men's sake, too. why the results are delayed <u>god's pathway to human hearts.</u> god touches men through men. the spirit's path to a human heart is through another human heart. with reverence be it said, yet with blunt plainness that in his plan for winning men to their true allegiance god is limited by the human limitations. that may seem to mean more than it really does. for our thought of the human is of the scarred, warped, shrivelled humanity that we know, and great changes come when god's spirit controls. but the fact is there, however limited our understanding of it. god needs man for his plan. that is the fact that stands out strong in thinking about prayer. god's greatest agency; man's greatest agency, for defeating the enemy and winning men back is intercession. god is counting mightily upon that. and he can count most mightily upon the man that faithfully practices that. the results he longs for are being held back, and made smaller because so many of us have not learned how to pray simply and skilfully. we need training. and god understands that. he himself will train. but we must be willing; actively willing. and just there the great bother comes in. a strong will perfectly yielded to god's will, or perfectly willing to be yielded, is his mightiest ally in redeeming the world. answers to prayer are delayed, or denied, out of kindness, _or_, that more may be given, _or_, that a far larger purpose may be served. but deeper down by far than that is this: _god's purposes are being delayed_; delayed because of our unwillingness to learn how to pray, _or_, our slowness--i almost said--our stupidity in learning. it is a small matter that my prayer be answered, or unanswered; not small to me; everything perhaps to me; but small in proportion. it is a tremendous thing that _god's purpose_ for a world is being held back through my lack. the thought that prayer is _getting things_ from god; chiefly that, is so small, pitiably small, and yet so common. the true conception understands that prayer is partnership with god in his planet-sized purposes, and includes the "all things" beside, as an important detail of the whole. the real reason for the delay or failure lies simply in the difference between god's view-point and ours. in our asking either we have not reached the _wisdom_ that asks best, _or_, we have not reached the _unselfishness_ that is willing to sacrifice a good thing, for a better, or the best; the unselfishness that is willing to sacrifice the smaller personal desire for the larger thing that affects the lives of many. we learn best by pictures, and by stories which are pen or word pictures. this was jesus' favourite method of teaching. there are in the bible four great, striking instances of delayed, or qualified answers to prayer. there are some others; but these stand out sharply, and perhaps include the main teachings of all. probably all the instances of hindered prayer with which we are familiar will come under one of these. that is to say, where there are good connections upward as suggested in our last talk, _and_, excepting those that come under the talk succeeding this, namely, the great outside hindrance. these four are moses' request to enter canaan; hannah's prayer for a son; paul's thorn; and jesus' prayer in gethsemane. let us look a bit at these in turn. <u>for the sake of a nation.</u> first is the incident of moses' ungranted petition. moses was the leader of his people. he is one of the giants of the human race from whatever standpoint considered. his codes are the basis of all english and american jurisprudence. from his own account of his career, the secret of all his power as a maker of laws, the organizer of a strangely marvellous nation, a military general and strategist--the secret of all was in his direct communication with god. he was peculiarly a man of prayer. everything was referred to god, and he declared that everything--laws, organization, worship, plans--came to him from god. in national emergencies where moral catastrophe was threatened he petitioned god and the plans were changed in accordance with his request. he makes personal requests and they are granted. he was peculiarly a man who dealt directly with god about every sort of thing, national and personal, simple and complex. the record commonly credited to him puts prayer as the simple profound explanation of his stupendous career and achievements. he prayed. god worked along the line of his prayer. the great things recorded are the result. that is the simple inferential summary. now there is one exception to all this in moses' life. it stands out the more strikingly that it is an exception; the one exception of a very long line. moses asked repeatedly for one thing. it was not given him. god is not capricious nor arbitrary. there must be a reason. _there is._ and it is fairly luminous with light. here are the facts. these freed men of egypt are a hard lot to lead and to live with. slow, sensuous, petty, ignorant, narrow, impulsive, strangers to self-control, critical, exasperating--what an undertaking god had to make a nation, _the_ nation of history, about which centred his deep reaching, far-seeing love ambition for redeeming a world out of such stuff! only paralleled by the church being built upon such men as these galilean peasants! what victories these! what a god to do such things! only a god could do either and both! what immense patience it required to shape this people. what patience god has. moses had learned much of patience in the desert sands with his sheep; for he had learned much of god. but the finishing touches were supplied by the grindstone of friction with the fickle temper of this mob of ex-slaves. here are the immediate circumstances. they lacked water. they grew very thirsty. it was a serious matter in those desert sands with human lives, and young children, and the stock. no, it was not serious: really a very small matter, for _god was along_, and the enterprise was of his starting. it was his affair, all this strange journey. and they knew him quite well enough in their brief experience to be expecting something fully equal to all needs with a margin thrown in. there was that series of stupendous things before leaving egypt. there was the red sea, and fresh food daily delivered at every man's tent door, and game, juicy birds, brought down within arms' reach, yes, and--surely this alone were enough--there was living, cool water gushing abundantly, gladly out of the very heart of a flinty rock--if such a thing can be said to have a heart! oh, yes it was a very small matter to be lacking anything with such a lavish god along. _but they forgot._ their noses were keener than their memories. they had better stomachs than hearts. the odorous onions of egypt made more lasting impressions than this tender, patient, planning god. yet here even their stomachs forgot those rock-freed waters. these people must be kinsfolk of ours. they seem to have some of the same family traits. listen: they begin to complain, to criticise. god patiently says nothing but provides for their needs. but moses has not yet reached the high level that later experiences brought him. he is standing to them for god. yet he is very un-godlike. angrily, with hot word, he _smites_ the rock. once smiting was god's plan; then the quiet word ever after. how many a time has the once smitten rock been smitten again in our impatience! _the waters came_! just like god! they were cared for, though he had been disobeyed and dishonoured. and there are the crowds eagerly drinking with faces down; and up yonder in the shadow standeth god _grieved_, deeply grieved at the false picture this immature people had gotten of him that day through moses. moses' hot tongue and flashing eye made a deep moral scar upon their minds, that it would take years to remove. something must be done for the people's sake. moses disobeyed god. he dishonoured god. yet the waters came, for _they needed water_. and god is ever tender-hearted. but they must be taught the need of obedience, the evil of disobedience. taught it so they never could forget. moses was a leader. leaders may not do as common men. and leaders may not be dealt with as followers. they stand too high in the air. they affect too many lives. so god said to moses:--"you will not go into canaan. you may lead them clear up to the line; you may even see over, but you may not go in." that hurt moses deep down. it hurt god deeper down, in a heart more sensitive to hurt than was moses'. without doubt it was said with _reluctance_, for _moses'_ sake. but _it was said_, plainly, irrevocably, for _their_ sakes. moses' petition was for a reversal of this decision. once and again he asked. he wanted to see that wondrous land of god's choosing. he felt the sting too. the edge of the knife of discipline cut keenly, and the blood spurted. but god said:--"do not speak to me again of this." the decision was not to be changed. for moses' sake only he would gladly have changed, judging by his previous conduct. for the sake of the nation--aye, for the sake of the prodigal world to be won back through this nation, the petition might not be granted. that ungranted petition taught those millions the lesson of obedience, of reverence, as no command, or smoking mount, or drowning egyptians had done. it became common talk in every tent, by every camp-fire of the tented nation. "moses disobeyed,--he failed to reverence god;--he cannot enter canaan."--with hushed tones, and awed hearts and moved, strangely moved faces it passed from lip to lip. some of the women and children wept. they all loved moses. they revered him. how gladly they would have had him go over. the double-sided truth--obedience--disobedience--kept burning in through the years. in after years many a hebrew mother told her baby, eager for a story, of moses their great leader; his appearance, deep-set eyes, long beard, majestic mien, yet infinite tenderness and gentleness, the softness of strength; his presence with god in the mount, the shining face. and the baby would listen so quietly, and then the eyes would grow so big and the hush of spirit come as the mother would repeat softly, "but he could not come over into the land of promise because _he did not obey god_." and strong fathers reminded their growing sons. and so it was woven into the warp and woof of the nation--_obedience, reverent obedience to god_. and one can well understand moses looking down from above with grateful heart that he had been denied for _their_ sakes. the unselfishness and wisdom of later years would not have made the prayer. _the prayer of a man was denied that a nation might be taught obedience_. <u>that more might be given and gotten.</u> now let us look a bit at the second of these, the portrait of hannah the hebrew woman. first the broader lines for perspective. this peculiar hebrew nation had two deep dips down morally between egypt and babylon; between the first making, and the final breaking. the national tide ebbed very low twice, before it finally ran out in the euphrates valley. elijah stemmed the tide the second time, and saved the day for a later night. the hannah story belongs in the first of these ebb-tides; the first bad sag; the first deep gap. the giant lawgiver is long gone. his successor, only a less giant than himself is gone too, and all that generation, and more. the giants gave way to smaller-sized leaders. now they are gone also. the mountain peaks have been lost in the foothills, and these have yielded to dunes, and levels; mostly levels; dead levels. these mountains must have had long legs. the foothills are so far away, and are running all to toes. now the toes have disappeared. it is a leaderless people, for the true leader as originally planned has been, first ignored, then forgot. the people have no ideals. they grub in the earth content. there is a deep, hidden-away current of good. but it needs leadership to bring it to the surface. a leaderless people! this is the niche of the hannah story. the nation was rapidly drifting down to the moral level of the lowest. at shiloh the formal worship was kept up, but the very priests were tainted with the worst impurity. a sort of sleepy, slovenly anarchy prevailed. every man did that which was right in his own eyes, with every indication of a gutter standard. "there was none in the land possessing power of restraint that might put them to shame in anything." no government; no dominant spirit. indeed the actual conditions of sodom and her sister cities of the plain existed among the people. this is the setting of the simple graphic incident of hannah. one must get the picture clearly in mind to understand the story. up in the hill country of ephraim there lived a wise-hearted religious man, a farmer, raising stock, and grain; and fruit, too, likely. he was earnest but not of the sort to rise above the habit of his time. his farm was not far from shiloh, the national place of worship, and he made yearly trips there with the family. but the woman-degrading curse of lamech was over his home. he had two wives. hannah was the loved one. (no man ever yet gave his heart to two women.) she was a gentle-spoken, thoughtful woman, with a deep, earnest spirit. but she had a disappointment which grew in intensity as it continued. the desire of her heart had been withheld. she was childless. though the thing is not mentioned the whole inference is that she prayed earnestly and persistently but to her surprise and deep disappointment the desired answer came not. to make it worse her rival--what a word, for the other one in the home with her--her rival provoked her sore to make her fret. and that thing _went on_ year after year. that teasing, nagging, picking of a small nature was her constant prod. what an atmosphere for a home! is it any wonder that "she was in bitterness of soul" and "wept sore"? her husband tenderly tries to comfort her. but her inner spirit remains chafed to the quick. and all this goes on for years; the yearning, the praying, the failure of answer, the biting, bitter atmosphere,--for _years_. and she wonders why. why was it? step back and up a bit and get the broader view which the narrow limits of her surroundings, and shall i say, too, though not critically, of her spirit, shut out from her eyes. here is what she saw: her fondest hope unrealized, long praying unanswered, a constant ferment at home. here is what she wanted:--_a son_. that is her horizon. beyond that her thought does not rise. here is what god saw:--a nation--no, much worse--_the_ nation, in which centred his great love-plan for winning his prodigal world, going to pieces. the messenger to the prodigal was being slyly, subtly seduced by the prodigal. the saviour-nation was being itself lost. the plan so long and patiently fostered for saving a world was threatened with utter disaster. here is what he wanted--_a leader_! but there were no leaders. and, worse yet, there were no men out of whom leaders might be made, no men of leader-size. and worse yet _there were no women_ of the sort to train and shape a man for leadership. that is the lowest level to which a people ever gets, aye, ever _can_ get. god had to get a woman before he could get a man. hannah had in her the making of the woman he needed. god honoured her by choosing her. but she must be changed before she could be used. and so there came those years of pruning, and sifting, and discipline. shall we spell that word discipline with a final g instead of e--discipling, so the love of it may be plainer to our near-sightedness? and out of those years and experiences there came a new woman. a woman with vision broadened, with spirit mellowed, with strength seasoned, with will so sinewy supple as to yield to a higher will, to sacrifice the dearest _personal pleasure_ for the world-wide purpose; willing that he who was her dearest treasure should be the nation's _first_. then followed months of prayer while the man was coming. samuel was born, no, farther back yet, was conceived in the atmosphere of prayer and devotion to god. the prenatal influences for those months gave the sort of man god wanted. and a nation, _the_ nation, the _world-plan,_ was saved! this man became a living answer to prayer. the romantic story of the little boy up in the shiloh tabernacle quickly spread over the nation. his very name--samuel, god hears--sifted into people's ears the facts of a god, and of the power of prayer. the very sight of the boy and of the man clear to the end kept deepening the brain impression through eyeballs that god answers prayer. and the seeds of that re-belief in god that samuel's leadership brought about were sown by the unusual story of his birth. _the answer was delayed that more might be given and gotten_. and hannah's exultant song of praise reveals the fineness to which the texture of her nature had been spun. and it tells too how grateful she was for a god who in great patience and of strong deliberate purpose delayed the answer to her prayer. <u>the best light for studying a thorn.</u> the third great picture in this group is that of paul and his needle-pointed thorn. talks about the certainty of prayer being answered are very apt to bring this question: "what about paul's thorn?" sometimes asked by earnest hearts puzzled; _some_times with a look in the eye almost exultant as though of gladness for that thorn because it seems to help out a theory. these pictures are put into the gallery for our help. let us pull up our chairs in front of this one and see what points we may get to help our hearts. first a look at paul himself. the best light on this thorn is through the man. the man explains the thorn. we have a halo about paul's head; and rightly, too. what a splendid man of god he was! god's chosen one for a peculiar ministry. one of the twelve could be used to open the door to the great outside world, but god had to go aside from this circle and get a man of different training for this wider sphere. cradled and schooled in a jewish atmosphere, he never lost the jew standpoint, yet the training of his home surroundings in that outside world, the contact with greek culture, his natural mental cast fitted him peculiarly for his appointed task to the great outside majority. his keen reasoning powers, his vivid imagination, his steel-like will, his burning devotion, his unmovable purpose, his tender attachment to his lord,--what a man! well might the master want to win such a man for service' sake. but paul had some weak traits. let us say it very softly, remembering as we instinctively will, that where we think of one in him there come crowding to memory's door many more in one's self. a man's weak point is usually the extreme opposite swing of the pendulum on his strong point. paul had a tremendous will. he was a giant, a hercules in his will. those tireless journeys with their terrific experiences, all spell out _will_ large and black. but, gently now, he went to extremes here. was it due to his overtired nerves? likely enough. he was obstinate, _sometimes;_ stubborn; set in his way: _sometimes_ head down, jaw locked, driving hard. say it all _softly_, for we are speaking of dear old saintly paul; but, to help, _say_ it, for it is true. god had a hard time holding paul to _his_ plans. paul had some of his own. we can all easily understand that. take a side glance or two as he is pushing eagerly, splendidly on. turn to that sixteenth chapter of acts,[ ] and listen: "having been forbidden of the holy spirit to speak the word in (the province of) asia," coupled with the fact of sickness being allowed to overtake him in galatia where the "forbidding" message came. and again this, "they assayed to go into bithynia; and the spirit of jesus suffered them not."[ ] tell me, is this the way the spirit of god leads? that i should go driving ahead until he must pull me up with a sharp turn, and twist me around! it is the way he is obliged to do many times, no doubt, with most of us. but his chosen way? his own way? surely not. rather this, the keeping close, and quiet and listening for the next step. rather the "i go not up yet unto this feast" of jesus.[ ] and then in a few days going up, evidently when the clear intimation came. these words, "assayed to go," "forbidden," "suffered not"--what flashlights they let into this strong man's character. but there is much stronger evidence yet. paul had an ambition to preach to the _jerusalem jews_. it burned in his bones from the early hours of his new life. the substratum of "_jerusalem_" seemed ever in his thoughts and dreams. if _he_ could just get to those jerusalem jews! he knew them. he had trained with them. he was a leader among the younger set. when they burned against these christians he burned just a bit hotter. they knew him. they trusted him to drive the opposite wedge. if only _he_ could have a chance down there he felt that the tide might be turned. but from that critical hour on the damascene road "_gentiles--gentiles_" had been sounded in his ears. and he obeyed, of course he obeyed, with all his ardent heart. _but, but_--those _jerusalem jews_! if he might go to jerusalem! yet very early the master had proscribed the jerusalem service for paul. he made it a matter of a special vision,[ ] in the holy temple, kindly explaining why. "they will not receive of _thee_ testimony concerning me." would that not seem quite sufficient? surely. yet this astonishing thing occurs:--paul attempts to argue with the master _why_ he should be allowed to go. this is going to great lengths; a subordinate arguing with his commanding general after the orders have been issued! the master closes the vision with a peremptory word of command, "_depart_. i will send thee _far hence_ (from jerusalem, where you long to be), to the gentiles." that is a picture of this man. it reveals the weak side in this giant of strength and of love. and _this_ is the man god has to use in his plan. he is without doubt the best man available. and in his splendour he stands head and shoulders above his generation and many generations. yet (with much reverence) god has a hard time getting paul to work always along the line of _his_ plans. that is the man. now for the thorn. something came into paul's life that was a constant irritation. he calls it a thorn. what a graphic word! a sharp point prodding into his flesh, ever prodding, sticking, sticking in; asleep, awake, stitching tent canvas, preaching, writing, that thing ever cutting its point into his sensitive flesh. ugh! it did not disturb him so much at first, because _there was god_ to go to. he went to god and said, "_please_ take this away." but it stayed and stuck. a second time the prayer; a bit more urgent; the thing sticks so. the time test is the hardest test of all. still no change. then praying the third time with what earnestness one can well imagine. now note three things: first, _there was an answer_. god answered _the man_. though he did not grant the petition, he answered the man. he did not ignore him nor his request. then god told paul frankly that it was not best to take the thorn away. it was in the lonely vigil of a sleepless night, likely as not, that the wondrous jesus-spirit drew near to paul. inaudibly to outer ear but very plainly to his inner ear, he spoke in tones modulated into tender softness as of dearest friend talking with dear friend. "paul," the voice said, "i know about that thorn--and how it hurts--it hurts me, too. for _your_ sake, i would quickly, so quickly remove it. but--paul"--and the voice becomes still softer--"it is a bit better for _others_' sake that it remain: the plan in my heart _through you_ for thousands, yes, unnumbered thousands, paul, can so best be worked out." that was the first part of what he said. and paul lies thinking with a deep tinge of awe over his spirit. then after a bit in yet quieter voice he went on to say, "i will be so close to your side; you shall have such revelations of my glory that the pain will be clear overlapped, paul; the glory shall outstrip the eating thorn point." i can see old paul one night in his own hired house in rome. it is late, after a busy day; the auditors have all gone. he is sitting on an old bench, slowing down before seeking sleep. one arm is around luke, dear faithful doctor luke, and the other around young timothy, not quite so young now. and with eyes that glisten, and utterance tremulous with emotion he is just saying:--"and dear old friends, do you know, i would not have missed this thorn, for the wondrous glory"--and his heart gets into his voice, there is a touch of the hoarseness of deep emotion, and a quavering of tone, so he waits a moment--"the wondrous _glory-presence of jesus_ that came with it." and so out of the experience came a double blessing. there was a much fuller working of god's plan for his poor befooled world. and there was an unspeakable nearness of intimacy with his lord for paul. _the man was answered and the petition denied that the larger plan of service might be carried out_. <u>shaping a prayer on the anvil of the knees.</u> the last of these pictures is like raphael's sistine madonna in the dresden gallery; it is in a room by itself. one enters with a holy hush over his spirit, and, with awe in his eyes, looks at _jesus in gethsemane_. there is the kidron brook, the gentle rise of ground, the grove of gnarled knotty old olive trees. the moon above is at the full. its brightness makes these shadowed recesses the darker; blackly dark. here is a group of men lying on the ground apparently asleep. over yonder deeper in among the trees a smaller group reclines motionless. they, too, sleep. and, look, farther in yet is that lone figure; all alone; nevermore alone; save once--on the morrow. there is a foreshadowing of this gethsemane experience in the requested interview of the greeks just a few intense days before. in the vision which the greeks unconsciously brought the agony of the olive grove began. the climax is among these moon-shadowed trees. how sympathetic those inky black shadows! it takes bright light to make black shadows. yet they were not black enough. intense men can get so absorbed in the shadows as to forget the light. this great jesus! son of god: god the son. the son of man: god--a man! no draughtsman's pencil ever drew the line between his divinity and humanity; nor ever shall. for the union of divine and human is itself divine, and therefore clear beyond human ken. here his humanity stands out, pathetically, luminously stands out. let us speak of it very softly and think with the touch of awe deepening for this is holiest ground. the battle of the morrow is being fought out here. calvary is in gethsemane. the victory of the hill is won in the grove. it is sheer impossible for man with sin grained into his fibre through centuries to understand the horror with which a sinless one thinks of actual contact with sin. as jesus enters the grove that night it comes in upon his spirit with terrific intensity that he is actually coming into contact--with a meaning quite beyond us--coming into contact with sin. in some way all too deep for definition he is to be "made sin."[ ] the language used to describe his emotions is so strong that no adequate english words seem available for its full expression. an indescribable horror, a chill of terror, a frenzy of fright seizes him. the poisonous miasma of sin seems to be filling his nostrils and to be stifling him. and yonder alone among the trees the agony is upon him. the extreme grips him. may there not yet possibly be some other way rather than _this--this!_ a bit of that prayer comes to us in tones strangely altered by deepest emotion. "_if it be possible--let this cup pass_." there is still a clinging to a possibility, some possibility other than that of this nightmare vision. the writer of the hebrews lets in light here. the strain of spirit almost snaps the life-thread. and a parenthetical prayer for strength goes up. and the angels come with sympathetic strengthening. with what awe must they have ministered! even after that some of the red life slips out there under the trees. by and by a calmer mood asserts itself, and out of the darkness a second petition comes. it tells of the tide's turning, and the victory full and complete. _a changed, petition_ this! "_since this cup may not pass_--since only thus _can_ thy great plan for a world be wrought out--_thy--will_"--slowly but very distinctly the words come--"_thy--will--be--done._" _the changed prayer was wrought out upon his knees!_ with greatest reverence, and a hush in our voices, let us say that there alone with the father came the clearer understanding of the father's actual will under these circumstances. "into the woods my master went clean forspent, forspent; into the woods my master came forspent with love and shame. but the olives they were not blind to him, the little gray leaves were kind to him; the thorn-tree had a mind to him when into the woods he came. "out of the woods my master went and he was well content; out of the woods my master came content with death and shame. when death and shame would woo him last from under the trees they drew him last 'twas on a tree they slew him--last when out of the woods he came."[ ] true prayer is wrought out upon the knees alone with god. with deepest reverence, and in awed tones, let it be said, that _that was true of jesus_ in the days of his humanity. how infinitely more of us! shall we not plan to meet god alone, habitually, with the door shut, and the book open, and the will pliant so we may be trained for this holy partnership of prayer. then will come the clearer vision, the broader purpose, the truer wisdom, the real unselfishness, the simplicity of claiming and expecting, the delights of fellowship in service with him; then too will come great victories for god in his world. although we shall not begin to know by direct knowledge a tithe of the story until the night be gone and the dawning break and the ink-black shadows that now stain the earth shall be chased away by the brightness of his presence. the great outside hindrance <u>the traitor prince.</u> there remains yet a word to be said about hindrances. it is a most important word; indeed the climactic word. what has been said is simply clearing the way for what is yet to be said. a very strange phase of prayer must be considered here. strange only because not familiar. yet though strange it contains the whole heart of the question. here lies the fight of the fight. one marvels that so little is said of it. for if there were clear understanding here, and then faithful practicing, there would be mightier defeats and victories: defeats for the foe; victories for our rightful prince, jesus. the intense fact is this: _satan has the power to hold the answer back--for awhile; to delay the result--for a time_. he has not the power to hold it back finally, _if_ some one understands and prays with quiet, steady persistence. the real pitch of prayer therefore is satanward. our generation has pretty much left this individual satan out. it is partly excusable perhaps. the conceptions of satan and his hosts and surroundings made classical by such as dante and milton and doré have done much to befog the air. almost universally they have been taken literally whether so meant or not. one familiar with satan's characteristics can easily imagine his cunning finger in that. he is willing even to be caricatured, or to be left out of reckoning, if so he may tighten his grip. these suggestions of horns and hoofs, of forked tail and all the rest of it seek to give material form to this being. they are grotesque to an extreme, and therefore caricatures. a caricature so disproportions and exaggerates as to make hideous or ridiculous. in our day when every foundation of knowledge is being examined there has been a natural but unthinking turning away from the very being of satan through these representations of him. yet where there is a caricature there must be a true. to revolt from the true, hidden by a caricature, in revolting from the caricature is easy, but is certainly bad. it is always bad to have the truth hid from our eyes. it is refreshing and fascinating to turn from these classical caricatures to the scriptural conception of satan. in this book he is a being of great beauty of person, of great dignity of position even yet, endowed with most remarkable intellectual powers, a prince, at the head of a most remarkable, compact organization which he has wielded with phenomenal skill and success in furthering his ambitious purposes. and he is not chained yet. i remember a conversation with a young clergyman one monday morning in the reading-room of a young men's christian association. it was in a certain mining town in the southwest, which is as full of evil resorts as such places usually are. the day before, sunday, had been one of special services, and we had both been busy and were a bit weary. we were slowing down and chatting leisurely. i remarked to my friend, "what a glad day it will be when the millennium comes!" he quickly replied, "i think this is the millennium." "but," i said, "i thought satan was to be chained during that time. doesn't it say something of that sort in the book?" "yes," he replied, "it does. but i think he is chained now." and i could not resist the answer that came blurting its way out, "well, if he is chained, he must have a fairly long chain: it seems to permit much freedom of action." from all that can be gathered regarding this mighty prince he is not chained yet. we would do well to learn more about him. the old military maxim, "study the enemy," should be followed more closely here. it is striking that the oldest of the bible books, and the latest, job and revelation, the first word and the last, give such definite information concerning him. these coupled with the gospel records supply most of the information available though not all. those three and a half years of jesus' public work is the period of greatest satanic and demoniac activity of which any record has been made. jesus' own allusions to him are frequent and in unmistakable language. there are four particular passages to which i want to turn your attention now. let it not be supposed, however, that this phase of prayer rests upon a few isolated passages. such a serious truth does not hinge upon selected proof texts. it is woven into the very texture of this book throughout. there are two facts that run through the bible from one end to the other. they are like two threads ever crossing in the warp and woof of a finely woven fabric. anywhere you run your shears into the web of this book you will find these two threads. they run crosswise and are woven inextricably in. one is a black thread, inky black, pot-black. the other is a bright thread, like a bit of glory light streaming across. these two threads everywhere. the one is this--the black thread--there is an enemy. turn where you will from genesis to revelation--always an enemy. he is keen. he is subtle. he is malicious. he is cruel. he is obstinate. he is a master. the second thread is this: the leaders for god have always been men of prayer above everything else. they are men of power in other ways, preachers, men of action, with power to sway others but above all else men of prayer. they give prayer first place. there is one striking exception to this, namely, king saul. and most significantly a study of this exception throws a brilliant lime light upon the career of satan. king sauls seems to furnish the one great human illustration in scripture of heaven's renegade fallen prince. these special paragraphs to be quoted are like the pattern in the cloth where the colours of the yarn come into more definite shape. the gospels form the central pattern of the whole where the colours pile up into sharpest contrast. <u>praying is fighting.</u> but let us turn to the book at once. for we _know_ only what it tells. the rest is surmise. the only authoritative statements about satan seem to be these here. turn first to the new testament. the old testament is the book of illustrations; the new of explanations, of teaching. in the old, teaching is largely by kindergarten methods. the best methods, for the world was in its child stage. in the new the teaching is by precept. there is precept teaching in the old; very much. there is picture teaching in the new; the gospels full of it. but picture teaching, acted teaching, is the characteristic of the old, and precept teaching of the new. there is a wonderfully vivid picture in the old testament, of this thing we are discussing. but first let us get the teaching counterpart in the new, and then look at the picture. turn to ephesians. ephesians is a prayer epistle. that is a very significant fact to mark. of paul's thirteen letters ephesians is peculiarly the prayer letter. paul is clearly in a prayer mood. he is on his knees here. he has much to say to these people whom he has won to christ, but it comes in the parenthesis of his prayer. the connecting phrase running through is--"for this cause i pray.... i bow my knees." halfway through this rare old man's mind runs out to the condition of these churches, and he puts in the always needed practical injunctions about their daily lives. then the prayer mood reasserts itself, and the epistle finds its climax in a remarkable paragraph on prayer. from praying the man goes urging them to pray. we must keep the book open here as we talk: chapter six, verses ten to twenty inclusive. the main drive of all their living and warfare seems very clear to this scarred veteran:--"that ye may be able to withstand the wiles of the devil." this man seems to have had no difficulty in believing in a personal devil. probably he had had too many close encounters for that. to paul satan is a cunning strategist requiring every bit of available resource to combat. this paragraph states two things:--who the real foe is, against whom the fight is directed; and, then with climactic intensity it pitches on the main thing that routs him. who is the real foe? listen:--"for our wrestling is not against flesh and blood"--not against men; never that; something far, subtler--"but against the principalities"--a word for a compact organization of individuals,--"against powers"--not only organized but highly endowed intellectually, "against the world-rulers of this darkness,"--they are of princely kin; not common folk--"against the hosts of wicked spirits in the heavenlies"--spirit beings, in vast numbers, having their headquarters somewhere above the earth. _that_ is the foe. large numbers of highly endowed spirit beings, compactly organized, who are the sovereigns of the present realm or age of moral darkness, having their _headquarters_ of activity somewhere above the earth, and below the throne of god, but concerned with human beings upon the earth. in chapter two of the epistle the head or ruler of this organization is referred to, "the prince of the powers of the air."[ ] that is the real foe. then in one of his strong piled up climactic sentences paul tells how the fight is to be won. this sentence runs unbroken through verses fourteen to twenty inclusive. there are six preliminary clauses in it leading up to its main statement. these clauses name the pieces of armour used by a roman soldier in the action of battle. the loins girt, the breastplate on, the feet shod, the shield, the helmet the sword, and so on. a roman soldier reading this or, hearing paul preach it, would expect him to finish the sentence by saying "_with all your fighting strength fighting_." that would be the proper conclusion rhetorically of this sentence. but when paul reaches the climax with his usual intensity he drops the rhetorical figure, and puts in the thing with which in our case the fighting is done--"with all prayer _praying_." in place of the expected word fighting is the word praying. the thing with which the fighting is done is put in place of the word itself. our fighting is praying. praying is fighting, spirit-fighting. that is to say, this old evangelist-missionary-bishop says, we are in the thick of a fight. there is a war on. how shall we best fight? first get into good shape to pray, and then with all your praying strength and skill _pray_. that word _praying_ is the climax of this long sentence, and of this whole epistle. this is the sort of action that turns the enemy's flank, and reveals his heels. he simply _cannot_ stand before persistent knee-work. now mark the keenness of paul's description of the man who does most effective work in praying. there are six qualifications under the figure of the six pieces of armour. a clear understanding of truth, a clean obedient life, earnest service, a strongly simple trust in god, clear assurance of one's own salvation and relation to god, and a good grip of the truth for others--these things prepare a man for the real conflict of prayer. _such a man_--_praying_--_drives back these hosts of the traitor prince_. such a man praying is invincible in his chief, jesus. the equipment is simple, and in its beginnings comes quickly to the willing, earnest heart. look a bit at how the strong climax of this long sentence runs. it is fairly bristling with points. soldier-points all of them; like bayonet points. just such as a general engaged in a siege-fight would give to his men. "with all prayer and supplication"--there is _intensity_; "praying"--that is _the main drive_; "at all seasons"--_ceaselessness_, night and day; hot and cold; wet and dry; "in the spirit"--as _guided by the chief;_ "and watching thereunto"--_sleepless vigilance;_ watching is ever a fighting word; watch the enemy; watch your own forces; "with all perseverance"--_persistence_; cheery, jaw-locked, dogged persistence, bulldog tenacity; "and supplication"--_intensity again_; "for all the saints"--_the sweep of the action_, keep in touch with the whole army; "and on my behalf"--the human leader, rally around _the immediate leader._ this is the foe to be fought. and this the sort of fighting that defeats this foe. <u>a double wrestling match.</u> now turn back to the illustration section of our book for a remarkably graphic illustration of these words. it is in the old prophecy of daniel, tenth chapter. the story is this: daniel is an old man now. he is an exile. he has not seen the green hills of his fatherland since boyhood. in this level babylon, he is homesick for the dear old palestinian hills, and he is heartsick over the plight of his people. he has been studying jeremiah's prophecies, and finds there the promise plainly made that after seventy years these exiled hebrews are to be allowed to return. go back again! the thought of it quickens his pulse-beats. he does some quick counting. the time will soon be up. so daniel plans a bit of time for special prayer, a sort of siege prayer. remember who he is--this daniel. he is the chief executive of the land. he controls, under the king, the affairs of the world empire of his time. he is a giant of strength and ability--this man. but he plans his work so as to go away for a time. taking a few kindred spirits, who understand prayer, he goes off into the woods down by the great tigris river. they spend a day in fasting, and meditation and prayer. not utter fasting, but scant eating of plain food. i suppose they pray awhile; maybe separately, then together; then read a bit from the jeremiah parchment, think and talk it over and then pray some more. and so they spend a whole day reading, meditating, praying. they are expecting an answer. these old-time intercessors were strong in expectancy. but there is no answer. a second day, a third, a fourth, a week, still no answer reaches them. they go quietly on without hesitation. two weeks. how long it must have seemed! think of fourteen days spent _waiting_; waiting for something, with your heart on tenter hooks. there is no answer. god might have been dead, to adapt the words of catharine luther, so far as any answer reaching them is concerned. but you cannot befool daniel in that way. he is an old hand at prayer. apparently he has no thought of quitting. he goes quietly, steadily on. twenty days pass, with no change. still they persist. then the twenty-first day comes and there is an answer. it comes in a vision whose glory is beyond human strength to bear. by and by when they can talk, his visitor and he, this is what daniel hears: "daniel, the first day you began to pray, your prayer was heard, and i was sent with the answer." and even daniel's eyes open big--"the _first_ day--three weeks ago?" "yes, three weeks ago i left the presence of god with the answer to your prayer. but"--listen, here is the strange part--"the prince of the kingdom of persia withstood me, resisted me, one and twenty days: but michael, your prince, came to help me, and i was free to come to you with the answer to your prayer." please notice four things that i think any one reading this chapter will readily admit. this being talking with daniel is plainly a spirit being. he is opposed by some one. this opponent plainly must be a spirit being, too, to be resisting a spirit being. daniel's messenger is from god: that is clear. then the opponent must be from the opposite camp. and here comes in the thing strange, unexpected, the evil spirit being _has the power to detain, hold back god's messenger_ for three full weeks by earth's reckoning of time. then reenforcements come, as we would say. the evil messenger's purpose is defeated, and god's messenger is free to come as originally planned. there is a double scene being enacted. a scene you can see, and a scene you cannot see. an unseen wrestling match in the upper spirit realm, and two embodied spirit beings down on their faces by the river. and both concerned over the same thing. that is the daniel story. what an acted out illustration it is of paul's words. it is a picture glowing with the action of real life. it is a double picture. every prayer action is in doubles; a lower human level; an upper spirit level. many see only the seen, and lose heart. while we look at the things that are seen, let us gaze intently at the things unseen; for the seen things are secondary, but the unseen are chief, and the action of life is being decided there. here is the lower, the seen;--a group of men, led by a man of executive force enough to control an empire, prone on their faces, with minds clear, quiet, alert, persistently, ceaselessly _praying_ day by day. here is the upper, the unseen:--a "wrestling," keen, stubborn, skilled, going on between two spirit princes in the spirit realm. and by paul's explanation the two are vitally connected. daniel and his companions are wrestlers too, active participants in that upper-air fight, and really deciding the issue, for they are on the ground being contested. these men are indeed praying with all prayer and supplication at all times, in the spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication, and _at length victory comes_. <u>prayer concerns three.</u> now a bit of a look at the central figure of the pattern. jesus lets in a flood of light on satan's relation to prayer in one of his prayer parables. there are two parables dealing distinctively with prayer: "the friend at midnight,"[ ] and "the unjust judge."[ ] the second of these deals directly with this satan phase of prayer. it is luke through whom we learn most of jesus' own praying who preserves for us this remarkable prayer picture. it comes along towards the end. the swing has been made from plain talking to the less direct, parable-form of teaching. the issue with the national leaders has reached its acutest stage. the culmination of their hatred, short of the cross, found vent in charging him with being inspired by the spirit of satan. he felt their charge keenly and answered it directly and fully. his parable of the strong man being bound before his house can be rifled comes in here. _they_ had no question as to what that meant. that is the setting of this prayer parable. the setting is a partial interpretation. let us look at this parable rather closely, for it is full of help for those who would become skilled in helping god win his world back home again. jesus seems so eager that they shall not miss the meaning here that he departs from his usual habit and says plainly what this parable is meant to teach:--"that men ought always to pray, and not to faint." the great essential, he says, is _prayer_. the great essential in prayer is _persistence_. the temptation in prayer is that one may lose heart, and give up, or give in. "not-to-faint" tells how keen the contest is. there are three persons in the parable; a judge, a widow, and an adversary. the judge is utterly selfish, unjust, godless, and reckless of anybody's opinion. the worst sort of man, indeed, the last sort of man to be a judge. inferentially he knows that the right of the case before him is with the widow. the widow--well, she is a _widow_. can more be said to make the thing vivid and pathetic! a very picture of friendlessness and helplessness is a widow. a woman needs a friend. this woman has lost her nearest, dearest friend; her protector. she is alone. there is an adversary, an opponent at law, who has unrighteously or illegally gotten an advantage over the widow and is ruthlessly pushing her to the wall. she is seeking to get the judge to join with her against her adversary. her urgent, oft repeated request is, "avenge me of mine adversary." that is jesus' pictorial illustration of persistent prayer. let us look into it a little further. "adversary" is a common word in scripture for satan. he is the accuser, the hater, the enemy, the adversary. its meaning technically is "an opponent in a suit at law." it is the same word as used later by peter, "your adversary the devil as a roaring lion, goeth about, seeking whom he may devour."[ ] the word "avenge" used four times really means, "do me justice." it suggests that the widow has the facts on her side to win a clear case, and that the adversary has been bully-ragging his case through by sheer force. there is a strange feature to this parable, which must have a meaning. _an utterly godless unscrupulous man is put in to represent god!_ this is startling. in any other than jesus it would seem an overstepping of the bounds. but there is keenness of a rare sort here. such a man is chosen for judge to bring out most sharply this:--the sort of thing required to win this judge is certainly not required _with god_. the widow must persist and plead because of the sort of man she has to deal with. but god is utterly different in character. therefore while persistence is urged in prayer plainly it is not for the reason that required the widow to persist. and if that reason be cut out it leaves only one other, namely, that represented by the adversary. having purposely put such a man in the parable for god, jesus takes pains to speak of the real character of god. "and he is _long-suffering_ over them." _that_ is god. that word "long-suffering" and its equivalent on jesus' lips suggests at once the strong side of love, namely, _patience_, gentle, fine patience. it has bothered the scholars in this phrase to know with whom or over what the long-suffering is exercised. "over them" is the doubtful phrase. long-suffering over these praying ones? _or_, long-suffering in dealing righteously with some stubborn adversary--which? the next sentence has a word set in sharpest contrast with this one, namely "speedily." "long-suffering" yet "speedily." here are gleams of bright light on a dark subject with apparently more light obscured than is allowed to shine through. jesus always spoke thoughtfully. he chooses his words. remembering the adversary against whom the persistence is directed the whole story seems to suggest this: that there is _a great conflict on_ in the upper spirit world. concerning it our patient god is long-suffering. he is a just and righteous god. these beings in the conflict are all his creatures. he is just in his dealings with the devil and this splendid host of evil spirits even as with all his creation. he is long-suffering that no unfairness shall be done in his dealings with these creatures of his. yet at the same time he is doing his best to bring the conflict to a speedy end, for the sake of his loyal loved ones, and that right may prevail. the upshot of the parable is very plain. it contains for us two tremendous, intense truths. first is this: _prayer concerns three_, not two but three. god to whom we pray, the man on the contested earth who prays, and the evil one against whom we pray. and the purpose of the prayer is not to persuade or influence god, but to join forces with him against the enemy. not towards god, but with god against satan--that is the main thing to keep in mind in prayer. the real pitch is not godward but satanward. the second intense truth is this:--the winning quality in prayer is _persistence_. the final test is here. this is the last ditch. many who fight well up to this point lose their grip here, and so lose all. many who are well equipped for prayer fail here, and doubtless fail because they have not rightly understood. with clear, ringing tones the master's voice sounds in our ears again to-day, "always to pray, _and_ not to faint." <u>a stubborn foe routed.</u> that is the parable teaching. now a look at a plain out word from the master's lips. it is in the story of the demonized boy, the distressed father, and the defeated disciples, at the foot of the transfiguration mountain.[ ] extremes meet here surely. the mountain peak is in sharpest contrast with the valley. the demon seems to be of the superlative degree. his treatment of the possessed boy is malicious to an extreme. his purpose is "to destroy" him. yet there is a limit to his power, for what he would do he has not yet been able to do. he shows extreme tenacity. he fought bitterly against being disembodied again. (can it be that embodiment eases in some way the torture of existence for these prodigal spirits!) and so far he fought well, and with success. the disciples had tried to cast him out. they were expected to. they expected to. they had before. they failed!--dismally--amid the sneering and jeering of the crowd and the increasing distress of the poor father. then jesus came. was some of the transfiguring glory still lingering in that great face? it would seem so. the crowd was "amazed" when they saw him, and "saluted" him. his presence changed all. the demon angrily left, doing his worst to wreck the house he had to vacate. the boy is restored; and the crowd astonished at the power of god. then these disciples did a very keen thing. they made some bad blunders but this is not one of them. they sought a private talk with jesus. no shrewder thing was ever done. when you fail, quit your service and get away for a private interview with jesus. with eyes big, and voices dejected, the question wrung itself out of their sinking hearts, "why could not _we_ cast it out?" matthew and mark together supply the full answer. probably first came this:--"because of your little faith." they had quailed in their hearts before the power of this malicious demon. and the demon knew it. they were more impressed with the power of the demon than with the power of god. and the demon saw it. they had not prayed victoriously against the demon. the master says, "faith only as big as a mustard seed (you cannot measure the strength of the mustard seed by its size) will say to this mountain--'remove.'" mark keenly:--the direction of the faith is towards the obstacle. its force is against the enemy. it was the demon who was most directly influenced by jesus' faith. then comes the second part of the reply:--"this kind can come out by nothing but by prayer." some less-stubborn demons may be cast out by the faith that comes of our regular prayer-touch with god. this extreme sort takes special prayer. this kind of a demon goes out by prayer. it can be put out by nothing less. the real victory must be in the secret place. the exercise of faith in the open battle is then a mere pressing of the victory already won. these men had the language of jesus on their lips, but they had not gotten the victory first off somewhere alone. this demon is determined not to go. he fights stubbornly and strongly. he succeeds. then this _man of prayer_ came. the quiet word of command is spoken. the demon must go. these disciples were strikingly like some of us. they had not _realized_ where the real victory is won. they had used the word of command to the demon, doubtless coupling jesus' name with it. but there was not the secret touch with god that gives victory. their eyes showed their fear of the demon. prayer, real prayer, intelligent prayer, it is this that routs satan's demons, for it routs their chief. david killed the lion and bear in the secret forests before he faced the giant in the open. these disciples were facing the giant in the open without the discipline in secret. "this kind can be compelled to come out by nothing but by prayer," means this:--"this kind comes out, and must come out, before the man who prays." this thing which jesus calls prayer casts out demons. would that we knew better by experience what he meant by prayer. it exerts a positive influence upon the hosts of evil spirits. they fear it. they fear the man who becomes skilled in its use. there are yet many other passages in this bible fully as explicit as these, and which give on the very surface just such plain teaching as these. the very language of scripture throughout is full of this truth. but these four great instances are quite sufficient to make the present point clear and plain. this great renegade prince is an actual active factor in the lives of men. he believes in the potency of prayer. he fears it. he can hinder its results for a while. he does his best to hinder it, and to hinder as long as possible. _prayer overcomes him._ it defeats his plans and himself. he cannot successfully stand before it. he trembles when some man of simple faith in god prays. prayer is insistence upon god's will being done. it needs for its practice a man in sympathetic touch with god. its basis is jesus' victory. it overcomes the opposing will of the great traitor-leader. iii. how to pray . the "how" of relationship. . the "how" of method. . the listening side of prayer. . something about god's will in connection with prayer. . may we pray with assurance for the conversion of our loved ones? the "how" of relationship <u>god's ambassadors.</u> if i had an ambition to be the ambassador of this country to our mother-country, there would be two essential things involved. the first and great essential would be to receive the appointment. i would need to come into certain relation with our president, to possess certain qualifications considered essential by him, and to secure from his hand the appointment, and the official credentials of my appointment. that would establish my relationship to the foreign court as the representative of my own country, and my right to transact business in her name. but having gotten that far i might go over there and make bad mistakes. i might get our diplomatic relations tangled up, requiring many explanations, and maybe apologies, and leaving unpleasant memories for a long time to come. such incidents have not been infrequent. nations are very sensitive. governmental affairs must be handled with great nicety. there would be a second thing which if i were a wise enough man to be an ambassador i would likely do. i would go to see john hay and joseph h. choate, and have as many interviews with them as possible, and learn all i possibly could from them of london official life, court etiquette, personages to be dealt with, things to do, and things to avoid. how to be a successful diplomat and further the good feeling between the two governments, and win friends for our country among the sturdy britons would be my one absorbing thought. and having gotten all i could in that way i would be constantly on the alert with all the mental keenness i could command to practice being a successful ambassador. the first of these would make me technically an ambassador. the second would tend towards giving me some skill as an ambassador. now there are the same two how's in praying. first the relationship must be established before any business can be transacted. then skill must be acquired in the transacting of the business on hand. just now, we want to talk about the first of these, the how of relationship in prayer. the basis of prayer is right relationship with god. prayer is representing god in the spirit realm of this world. it is insisting upon his rights down in this sphere of action. it is standing for him with full powers from him. clearly the only basis of such relationship to god is _jesus_. we have been outlawed by sin. we were in touch with god. we broke with him. the break could not be repaired by us. jesus came. he was god _and_ man. he touches both. we get back through him, and only so. the blood of the cross is the basis of all prayer. through it the relationship is established that underlies all prayer. only as i come to god through jesus to get the sin score straightened, and only as i keep in sympathy with jesus in the purpose of my life can i practice prayer. <u>six sweeping statements.</u> jesus' own words make this very clear. there are two groups of teachings on prayer in those three and a half years as given by the gospel records. the first of these groups is in the sermon on the mount which jesus preached about half-way through the second year of his ministry. the second group comes sheer at the end. all of it is in the last six months, and most of it in the last ten days, and much of that on the very eve of that last tragic day. it is after the sharp rupture with the leaders that this second series of statements is made. the most positive, and most sweeping utterances on prayer are here. of jesus' eight promises regarding prayer six are here. i want to ask you please to notice these six promises or statements; and then, to notice their relation to our topic of to-day. in matthew : , , is the first of these. "again i say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth, as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father who is in heaven." notice the place of prayer--"on earth"; and the sweep--"anything"; and the positiveness--"it shall be done." then the reason why is given. "for where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am i in the midst of them." that is to say, if there are two persons praying, there are three. if three meet to pray, there are four praying. there is always one more than you can see. and if you might perhaps be saying to yourself in a bit of dejection, "he'll not hear me: i'm so sinful: so weak"--you would be wrong in thinking and saying so, but then we do think and say things that are not right--_if_ you might be thinking that, you could at once fall back upon this: the father always hears jesus. and wherever earnest hearts pray jesus is there taking their prayer and making it his prayer. the second of these: mark : - , "jesus answering saith unto them, have faith in god"--with the emphasis double-lined under the word "god." the chief factor in prayer is god. "verily i say unto you, whosoever shall say unto this mountain, be thou taken up and cast into the sea--" choosing, do you see the unlikeliest thing that might occur. such a thing did not take place. we never hear of jesus moving an actual mountain. the need for such action does not seem to have arisen. but he chooses the thing most difficult for his illustration. can you imagine a mountain moving off into the sea--the jungfrau, or blanc, or rainier? if you know mountains down in your country you cannot imagine it actually occurring. "--and shall not doubt in his heart--" that is jesus' definition of faith. "--but shall believe that what he saith cometh to pass; he shall have it. therefore, i say unto you, all things whatsoever ye pray and ask for, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." how utterly sweeping this last statement! and to make it more positive it is preceded by the emphatic "therefore--i--say--unto--you." both whatsoever and whosoever are here. anything, and anybody. we always feel instinctively as though these statements need careful guarding: a few fences put up around them. wait a bit and we shall see what the master's own fence is. the last four of the six are in john's gospel. in that last long quiet talk on the night in which he was betrayed. john preserves much of that heart-talk for us in chapters thirteen to seventeen. here in john : , : "and whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will i do, that the father may be glorified in the son. if ye shall ask anything in my name, that will i do." the repetition is to emphasize the unlimited sweep of what may be asked. john : : "if ye abide in me, and my words abide in you--" that word abide is a strong word. it does not mean to leave your cards; nor to hire a night's lodging; nor to pitch a tent, or run up a miner's shanty, or a lumberman's shack. it means moving in to stay. "--ask whatsoever ye will--" the old version says, "ye shall ask." but here the revised is more accurate: "ask; please ask; i ask you to ask." there is nothing said directly about god's will. there is something said about our wills. "--and it shall be done unto you." or, a little more literally, "i will bring it to pass for you." i remember the remark quoted to me by a friend one day. his church membership is in the methodist church of the north, but his service crosses church lines both in this country and abroad. he was talking with one of the bishops of that church whose heart was in the foreign mission field. the bishop was eager to have this friend serve as missionary secretary of his church. but he knew, as everybody knows, how difficult appointments oftentimes are in all large bodies. he was earnestly discussing the matter with my friend, and made this remark: "if you will allow the use of your name for this appointment, _i will lay myself out_ to have it made." now if you will kindly not think there is any lack of reverence in my saying so--and there is surely none in my thought--that is the practical meaning of jesus' words here. "if you abide in me, and my words sway you, you please ask what it is your will to ask. and--softly, reverently now--i will lay myself out to bring that thing to pass for you." that is the force of his words here. this same chapter, sixteenth verse: "ye did not choose me, but i chose you, and appointed you, that ye should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should abide; that whatsoever ye shall ask of the father in my name, he may give it you." god had our prayer partnership with himself in his mind in choosing us. and the last of these, john : , , second clause, "verily, verily, i say unto you, if ye shall ask anything of the father, he will give it you in my name. hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be fulfilled." these statements are the most sweeping to be found anywhere in the scriptures regarding prayer. there is no limitation as to who shall ask, nor the kind of thing to be asked for. there are three limitations imposed: the prayer is to be _through jesus_; the person praying is to be in fullest sympathy with him; and this person is to have faith. <u>words with a freshly honed razor-edge.</u> now please group these six sweeping statements in your mind and hold them together there. then notice carefully this fact. these words are not spoken to the crowds. they are spoken to the small inner group of twelve disciples. jesus talks one way to the multitude. he oftentimes talks differently to these men who have separated themselves from the crowd and come into the inner circle. and notice further that before jesus spoke these words to this group of men he had said something else first. something very radical; so radical that it led to a sharp passage between himself and peter, to whom he speaks very sternly. this something else fixes unmistakably their relation to himself. remember that the sharp break with the national leaders has come. jesus is charged with satanic collusion. the death plot is determined upon. the breach with the leaders is past the healing point. and now the master is frequently slipping away from the crowd with these twelve men, and seeking to teach and train them. that is the setting of these great promises. it must be kept continually in mind. before the master gave himself away to these men in these promises he said this something else. it is this. i quote matthew's account: "if any man would come after me let him deny himself and take up his cross (daily, luke's addition) and follow me[ ]." _these words should be written crosswise over those six prayer statements_. jesus never spoke a keener word. those six promises are not meant for all. let it be said very plainly. they are meant only for those who will square their lives by these razor-edged words. i may not go fully into the significance of these deep-cutting words here. they have been gone into at some length in a previous set of talks as suggesting the price of power. to him whose heart burns for power in prayer i urge a careful review of that talk in this new setting of it. "if any man would come after me" means a rock-rooted purpose; the jaw locked; the tendrils of the purpose going down around and under the gray granite of a man's will, and tying themselves there; and knotting the ties; sailor knots, that you cannot undo. "come after me" means all the power of jesus' life, and has the other side, too. it means the wilderness, the intense temptation. it may mean the obscure village of nazareth for you. it may mean that first judean year for you--lack of appreciation. it may mean for you that last six months--the desertion of those hitherto friendly. it will mean without doubt a gethsemane. everybody who comes along after jesus has a gethsemane in his life. it will never mean as much to you as it meant to him. that is true. but, then, it will mean everything to you. and it will mean too having a calvary in your life in a very real sense, though different from what that meant to him. this sentence through gives the process whereby the man with sin grained into the fibre of his will may come into such relationship with god as to claim without any reservation these great prayer promises. and if that sound hard and severe to you let me quickly say that it is an easy way for the man who is _willing._ the presence of jesus in the life overlaps every cutting thing. if a man will go through matthew : , and habitually live there he may ask what he wills to ask, and that thing will come to pass. the reason, without question, why many people do not have power in prayer is simply because they are unwilling--i am just talking very plainly--they are unwilling to bare their breasts to the keen-edged knife in these words of jesus. and on the other side, if a man will quietly, resolutely follow the master's leading--nothing extreme--nothing fanatical, or morbid, just a quiet going where that inner voice plainly leads day by day, he will be startled to find what an utterly new meaning prayer will come to have for him. <u>the controlling purpose.</u> vital relationship is always expressed by purpose. the wise ambassador has an absorbing purpose to further the interests of his government. jesus said, and it at once reveals his relationship to god, "i do always those things that are well pleasing to him." the relationship that underlies prayer has an absorbing purpose. its controlling purpose is to please jesus. that sentence may sound simple enough. but, do you know, there is no sentence i might utter that has a keener, a more freshly honed razor-edge to it than that. that the purpose which _controls_ my action in every matter be this: to please him. if you have not done so, take it for a day, a week, and use it as a touch stone regarding thought, word and action. take it into matters personal, home, business, social, fraternal. it does not mean to ask, "is this right? is this wrong?" not that. not the driving of a keen line between wrong and right. there are a great many things that can be proven to be not wrong, but that are not best, that are not his preference. it will send a business man running his eye along the shelves and counter of his store. "the controlling purpose to please jesus ... hm-m-m, i guess maybe that stuff there ought to come out. oh, it is not wrong: i can prove that. my christian brother-merchants handle it here, and over the country: but _to please him_: a good, clean sixty per cent, profit too, cash money, but _to please him_--" and the stuff must go down and out. it would set some woman to thinking about the next time the young people are to gather in her home for a delightful social evening with her own daughters. she will think about some forms of pastime that are found everywhere. they are not wrong, that has been conclusively proven. but _to please him_. hm-m. and these will go out. and then it will set her to work with all her god-given woman-wit and exquisite tact to planning an evening yet more delightful. it will make one think of his personal habits, his business methods, and social intercourse, the organizations he belongs to, with the quiet question cutting it razor-way into each. and if some one listening may ask: why put the condition of prayer so strongly as that? i will remind you of this. the true basis of prayer is sympathy, oneness of purpose. prayer is not extracting favours from a reluctant god. it is not passing a check in a bank window for money. that is mandatory. the roots of prayer lie down in oneness of purpose. god up yonder, his victor-son by his side, and a man down here, in _such sympathetic touch_ that god can think his thoughts over in this man's mind, and have his desires repeated upon the earth as this man's prayer. <u>the threefold cord of jesus' life.</u> think for a moment into jesus' human life down here. his marvellous activities for those few years over which the world has never ceased to wonder. then his underneath hidden-away prayer-life of which only occasional glimpses are gotten. then grouping around about that sentence of his--"i do always the things that are pleasing to him"--in john's gospel, pick out the emphatic negatives on jesus' lips, the "not's": not my will, not my works, not my words. jesus came to do somebody's else will. the controlling purpose of his life was to please his father. that was the secret of the power of his earthly career. right relationship to god; a secret intimate prayer-life: marvellous power over men and with men--those are the strands in the threefold cord of his life. there is a very striking turn of a word in the second chapter of john's gospel down almost at its close. the old version says that "many believed on his name beholding his signs which he did, but jesus did not commit himself unto them" because he knew them so well. the word "believed," and the word "commit" are the same word underneath our english. the sentence might run "many _trusted_ him beholding what he did; but he did not _trust_ them for he knew them." i have no doubt most, or all of us here to-day, trust him. let me ask you very softly now: can he trust you? while we might all shrink from saying "yes" to that, there is a very real sense in which we may say "yes," namely, in the purpose of the life. every life is controlled by some purpose. what is yours? to please him? if so he knows it. it is a great comfort to remember that god judges a man not by his achievements, but by his purposes: not by what i am, actually, but by what i would be, in the yearning of my inmost heart, the dominant purpose of my life. god will fairly flood your life with all the power he can trust you to use wholly for him. commercial practice furnishes a simple but striking illustration here. a man is employed by a business house as a clerk. his ability and honesty come to be tested in many ways constantly. he is promoted gradually, his responsibilities increased. as he proves himself thoroughly reliable he is trusted more and more, until by and by as need arises he becomes the firm's confidential clerk. he knows its secrets. he is trusted with the combination to the inner box in the vault. because it has been proven by actual test that he will use everything only for the best interests of his house, and not selfishly. here, where we are dealing, the whole thing moves up to an infinitely higher level, but the principle does not change. if i will come into the relationship implied in these words:--it shall be the one controlling desire and purpose of my life to do the things that please him--then i may ask for what i will, and it shall be done. that is how to pray: the how of relationship. the man who will live in matthew : , and follow jesus as he leads: simply that: no fanaticism, no morbidism, no extremism, just simply follow as he leads, day by day,--then those six promises of jesus with their wonderful sweep, their limitless sweep are his to use as he will. the "how" of method <u>touching the hidden keys.</u> one of the most remarkable illustrations in recent times of the power of prayer, may be found in the experience of mr. moody. it explains his unparalleled career of world-wide soul winning. one marvels that more has not been said of it. its stimulus to faith is great. i suppose the man most concerned did not speak of it much because of his fine modesty. the last year of his life he referred to it more frequently as though impelled to. the last time i heard mr. moody was in his own church in chicago. it was, i think, in the fall of the last year of his life. one morning in the old church made famous by his early work, in a quiet conversational way he told the story. it was back in the early seventies, when chicago had been laid in ashes. "this building was not yet up far enough to do much in," he said; "so i thought i would slip across the water, and learn what i could from preachers there, so as to do better work here. i had gone over to london, and was running around after men there." then he told of going one evening to hear mr. spurgeon in the metropolitan tabernacle; and understanding that he was to speak a second time that evening to dedicate a chapel, mr. moody had slipped out of the building and had run along the street after mr. spurgeon's carriage a mile or so, so as to hear him the second time. then he smiled, and said quietly, "i was running around after men like that." he had not been speaking anywhere, he said, but listening to others. one day, saturday, at noon, he had gone into the meeting in exeter hall on the strand; felt impelled to speak a little when the meeting was thrown open, and did so. at the close among others who greeted him, one man, a minister, asked him to come and preach for him the next day morning and night, and he said he would. mr. moody said, "i went to the morning service and found a large church full of people. and when the time came i began to speak to them. but it seemed the hardest talking ever i did. there was no response in their faces. they seemed as though carved out of stone or ice. and i was having a hard time: and wished i wasn't there; and wished i hadn't promised to speak again at night. but i had promised, and so i went. "at night it was the same thing: house full, people outwardly respectful, but no interest, no response. and i was having a hard time again. when about half-way through my talk there came a change. it seemed as though the windows of heaven had opened and a bit of breath blew down. the atmosphere of the building seemed to change. the people's faces changed. it impressed me so that when i finished speaking i gave the invitation for those who wanted to be christians to rise. i thought there might be a few. and to my immense surprise the people got up in groups, pew-fulls. i turned to the minister and said, 'what does this mean?' he said, 'i don't know, i'm sure.' well," mr. moody said, "they misunderstood me. i'll explain what i meant." so he announced an after-meeting in the room below, explaining who were invited: only those who wanted to be christians; and putting pretty clearly what he understood that to mean, and dismissed the service. they went to the lower room. and the people came crowding, jamming in below, filling all available space, seats, aisles and standing room. mr. moody talked again a few minutes, and then asked those who would be christians to rise. this time he knew he had made his meaning clear. they got up in clumps, in groups, by fifties! mr. moody said, "i turned and said to the minister, 'what _does_ this mean?' he said, 'i'm sure i don't know.'" then the minister said to mr. moody, "what'll i do with these people? i don't know what to do with them; this is something new." and he said, "well. i'd announce a meeting for to-morrow night, and tuesday night, and see what comes of it; i'm going across the channel to dublin." and he went, but he had barely stepped off the boat when a cablegram was handed him from the minister saying, "come back at once. church packed." so he went back, and stayed ten days. and the result of that ten days, as i recall mr. moody's words, was that four hundred were added to that church, and that every church near by felt the impulse of those ten days. then mr. moody dropped his head, as though thinking back, and said: "i had no plans beyond this church. i supposed my life work was here. but the result with me was that i was given a roving commission and have been working under it ever since." now what was the explanation of that marvellous sunday and days following? it was not mr. moody's doing, though he was a leader whom god could and did mightily use. it was not the minister's doing; for he was as greatly surprised as the leader. there was some secret hidden beneath the surface of those ten days. with his usual keenness mr. moody set himself to ferret it out. by and by this incident came to him. a member of the church, a woman, had been taken sick some time before. then she grew worse. then the physician told her that she would not recover. that is, she would not die at once, so far as he could judge, but she would be shut in her home for years. and she lay there trying to think what that meant: to be shut in for years. and she thought of her life, and said, "how little i've done for god: practically nothing: and now what can i do shut in here on my back." and she said, "i can pray." may i put this word in here as a parenthesis in the story--that god oftentimes allows us to be shut in--he does not shut us in--he does not need to--simply take his hand off partly--there is enough disobedience to his law of our bodies all the time to shut us aside--no trouble on that side of the problem--_with pain to himself_, against his own first will for us, he allows us to be shut in, because only so _can_ he get our attention from other things to what he wants done; get us to see things, and think things his way. i am compelled to think it is so. she said, "i _will_ pray." and she was led to pray for her church. her sister, also a member of the church, lived with her, and was her link with the outer world. sundays, after church service, the sick woman would ask, "any special interest in church to-day?" "no," was the constant reply. wednesday nights, after prayer-meetings, "any special interest in the service to-night? there must have been." "no; nothing new; same old deacons made the same old prayers." but one sunday noon the sister came in from service and asked, "who do you think preached to-day?" "i don't know, who?" "why, a stranger from america, a man called moody, i think was the name." and the sick woman's face turned a bit whiter, and her eye looked half scared, and her lip trembled a bit, and she quietly said: "i know what that means. there's something coming to the old church. don't bring me any dinner. i must spend this afternoon in prayer." and so she did. and that night in the service that startling change came. then to mr. moody himself, as he sought her out in her sick room, she told how nearly two years before there came into her hands a copy of a paper published in chicago called the _watchman_ that contained a talk by mr. moody in one of the chicago meetings, farwell hall meetings, i think. all she knew was that talk that made her heart burn, and there was the name m-o-o-d-y. and she was led to pray that god would send that man into their church in london. as simple a prayer as that. and the months went by, and a year, and over; still she prayed. nobody knew of it but herself and god. no change seemed to come. still she prayed. and of course her prayer wrought its purpose. every spirit-suggested prayer does. and that is the touchstone of true prayer. and the spirit of god moved that man of god over to the seaboard, and across the water and into london, and into their church. then a bit of special siege-prayer, a sort of last charge up the steep hill, and that night the victory came. do you not believe--i believe without a doubt, that some day when the night is gone and the morning light comes up, and we know as we are known, that we shall find that the largest single factor, in that ten days' work, and in the changing of tens of thousands of lives under moody's leadership is that woman in her praying. not the only factor, mind you. moody a man of rare leadership, and consecration, and hundreds of faithful ministers and others rallying to his support. but behind and beneath moody and the others, and to be reckoned with as first this woman's praying. yet i do not know her name. i know mr. moody's name. i could name scores of faithful men associated with him in his campaigns, but the name of this one in whom humanly is the secret of it all i do not know. ah! it is a secret service. we do not know who the great ones are. they tell me she is living yet in the north end of london, and still praying. shall we pray! shall we not pray! if something else must slip out, something important, shall we not see to it that intercession has first place! <u>making god's purpose our prayer.</u> with that thought in mind let me this evening suggest a bit of how to pray. as simple a subject as that: how to pray: the how of method. the first thing in prayer is to find god's purpose, the trend, the swing of it; the second thing to make that purpose our prayer. we want to find out what god is thinking, and then to claim that that shall be done. god is seated up yonder on the throne. jesus christ is sitting by his side glorified. everywhere in the universe god's will is being done except in this corner, called the earth, and its atmosphere, and that bit of the heavens above it where satan's headquarters are. it has been done down here by one person--jesus. he came here to this prodigal planet and did god's will perfectly. he went away. and he has sought and seeks to have men down upon the earth so fully in touch with himself that he may do in them and through them just what he will. that he may reproduce himself in these men, and have god's will done again down on the earth. now prayer is this: finding out god's purpose for our lives, and for the earth and insisting that that shall be done here. the great thing then is to find out and insist upon god's will. and the "how" of method in prayer is concerned with that. many a time i have met with a group of persons for prayer. various special matters for prayer are brought up. here is this man, needing prayer, and this particular matter, and this one, and this. then we kneel and pray. and i have many a time thought--not critically in a bad sense--as i have listened to their prayers, as though this is the prayer i must offer:--"blessed holy spirit, thou knowest this man, and what the lacking thing is in him. there is trouble there. thou knowest this sick woman, and what the difficulty is there. this problem, and what the hindrance is in it. blessed spirit, pray in me the prayer thou art praying for this man, and this thing, and this one. the prayer thou art praying, i pray that, in jesus' name. thy will be done here under these circumstances." sometimes i feel clear as to the particular prayer to offer, but many a time i am puzzled to know. i put this fact with this, but i may not know _all_ the facts. i know this man who evidently needs praying for, a christian man perhaps, his mental characteristics, his conceptions of things, the kind of a will he has, but there may be some fact in there that i do not know, that seriously affects the whole difficulty. and i am compelled to fall back on this: i don't know how to pray as i ought. but the spirit within me will make intercession for this man as i allow him to have free swing in me as the medium of his prayer. and he who is listening above as he hears his will for this man being repeated down on the battle-field will recognize his own purpose, of course. and so that thing will be working out because of jesus' victory over the evil one. but i may become so sensitive to the spirit's thoughts and presence, that i shall know more keenly and quickly what to pray for. in so far as i do i become a more skillful partner of his on the earth in getting god's will done. <u>the trysting place.</u> there are six suggestions here on how to pray. first--we need _time_ for prayer, unhurried time, daily time, time enough to forget about how much time it is. i do not mean now: rising in the morning at the very last moment, and dressing, it may be hurriedly, and then kneeling a few moments so as to feel easier in mind: not that. i do not mean the last thing at night when you are jaded and fagged, and almost between the sheets, and then remember and look up a verse and kneel a few moments: not that. that is good so far as it goes. i am not criticising that. better sweeten and sandwich the day with all of that sort you can get in. but just now i mean this: _taking time_ when the mind is fresh and keen, and the spirit sensitive, to thoughtfully pray. we haven't time. life is so crowded. it must be taken from something else, something important, but still less important than this. sacrifice is the continual law of life. the important thing must be sacrificed to the more important. one needs to cultivate a mature judgment, or his strength will be frizzled away in the less important details, and the greater thing go undone, or be done poorly with the fag-ends of strength. if we would become skilled intercessors, and know how to pray simply enough, we must take quiet time daily to get off alone. the second suggestion: we need a _place_ for prayer. oh! you can pray anywhere, on the street, in the store, travelling, measuring dry goods, hands in dishwater,--where not. but you are not likely to unless you have been off in some quiet place shut in alone with god. the master said: "enter into thine inner chamber, and having shut thy door": that door is important. it shuts out, and it shuts in. "pray to thy father who is in secret." god is here in this shut-in spot. one must get alone to find out that he never is alone. the more alone we are as far as men are concerned the least alone we are so far a; god is concerned. the quiet place and time are needful to train the ears for keen hearing. a mother will hear the faintest cry of her babe just awaking. it is up-stairs perhaps; the tiniest bit of a sound comes; nobody else hears; but quick as a flash the mother's hands are held quiet, the head alert, then she is off. her ears are trained beyond anybody's else; love's training. we need trained ears. a quiet place shuts out the outer sounds, and gives the inner ear a chance to learn other sounds. a man was standing in a telephone booth trying to talk, but could not make out the message. he kept saying, "i can't hear, i can't hear." the other man by and by said sharply, "if you'll shut that door you can hear." _his_ door was shut and he could hear not only the man's voice but the street and store noises too. some folks have gotten their hearing badly confused because their doors have not been shut enough. man's voice and god's voice get mixed in their ears. they cannot tell between them. the bother is partly with the door. if you'll shut that door you can hear. the third suggestion needs much emphasis to-day: _give the book of god its place in prayer._ prayer is not talking to god--simply. it is listening first, then talking. prayer needs three organs of the head, an ear, a tongue and an eye. first an ear to hear what god says, then a tongue to speak, then an eye to look out for the result. bible study is the listening side of prayer. the purpose of god comes in through the ear, passes through the heart taking on the tinge of your personality, and goes out at the tongue as prayer. it is pathetic what a time god has getting a hearing down here. he is ever speaking but even where there may be some inclination to hear the sounds of earth are choking in our ears the sound of his voice. god speaks in his word. the most we know of god comes to us here. this book is god in print. it was inspired, and it _is_ inspired. god himself speaks in this book. that puts it in a list by itself, quite apart from all others. studying it keenly, intelligently, reverently will reveal god's great will. what he says will utterly change what you will say. <u>our prayer teacher.</u> the fourth suggestion is this: _let the spirit teach you how to pray_. the more you pray the more you will find yourself saying to yourself, "i don't know how to pray." well god understands that. paul knew that out of his own experience before he wrote it down. and god has a plan to cover our need there. there is one who is a master intercessor. he understands praying perfectly. he is the spirit of prayer. god has sent him down to live inside you and me, partly for this, to teach us the fine art of prayer. the suggestion is this: let him teach you. when you go alone in the quiet time and place with the book quietly pray: "blessed prayer-spirit, master-spirit, teach me how to pray," and he will. do not be nervous, or agitated, wondering if you will understand. study to be quiet; mind quiet, body quiet. be still and listen. remember luther's version of david's words,[ ] "be silent to god, and let him mould thee." you will find your praying changing. you will talk more simply, like a man transacting business or a child asking, though of course with a reverence and a deepness of feeling not in those things. you will quit asking for some things. some of the old forms of prayer will drop from your lips likely enough. you will use fewer words, maybe, but they will be spoken with a quiet absolute faith that this thing you are asking is being worked out. this thing of _letting the spirit teach_ must come first in one's praying, and remain to the last, and continue all along as the leading dominant factor. he is a spirit of prayer peculiarly. the highest law of the christian life is obedience to the leading of the holy spirit. there needs to be a cultivated judgment in reading his leading, and not mistaking our haphazard thoughts as his voice. he should be allowed to teach us how to pray and more, to dominate our praying. the whole range and intensity of the spirit conflict is under his eye. he is god's general on the field of action. there come crises in the battle when the turn of the tide wavers. he knows when a bit of special praying is needed to turn the tide and bring victory. so there needs to be special seasons of persistent prayer, a continuing until victory is assured. obey his promptings. sometimes there comes an impulse to pray, or to ask another to pray. and we think, "why, i have just been praying," _or_, "he does pray about this anyway. it is not necessary to pray again. i do not just like to suggest it." better obey the impulse quietly, with fewest words of explanation to the other one concerned, or no words beyond simply the request. let him, this wondrous holy spirit teach you how to pray. it will take time. you may be a bit set in your way, but if you will just yield and patiently wait, he will teach what to pray, suggest definite things, and often the very language of prayer. you will notice that the chief purpose of these four suggestions is to learn god's will. the quiet place, the quiet time, the book, the spirit--this is the schoolroom as andrew murray would finely put it. here we learn his will. learning that makes one eager to have it done, and breathes anew the longing prayer that it may be done. there is a fine word much used in the psalms, and in isaiah for this sort of thing--_waiting_. over and over again that is the word used for that contact with god which reveals to us his will, and imparts to us anew his desires. it is a word full of richest and deepest meaning. waiting is not an occasional nor a hurried thing. it means _steadfastness_, that is holding on; _patience_, that is holding back; _expectancy_, that is holding the face up to see; _obedience_, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do; it means _listening_, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear. <u>the power of a name.</u> the fifth suggestion has already been referred to, but should be repeated here. prayer must be _in jesus' name_. the relationship of prayer is through jesus. and the prayer itself must be offered in his name, because the whole strength of the case lies in jesus. i recall distinctly a certain section of this country where i was for awhile, and very rarely did i hear jesus' name used in prayer. i heard men, that i knew must be good men, praying in church, in prayer-meeting and elsewhere with no mention of jesus. let us distinctly bear in mind that we have no standing with god except through jesus. if the keenest lawyer of london, who knew more of american law, and of illinois statute and of chicago ordinance--suppose such a case--were to come here, could he plead a case in your court-house? you know he could not. he would have no legal standing here. now you and i have no standing at yonder bar. we are disbarred through sin. only as we come through one who has recognized standing there can we come. but turn that fact around. as we do come in jesus' name, it is the same as though jesus prayed. it is the same as though--let me be saying it very softly so it may seem very reverent--as though jesus put his arm in yours and took you up to the father, and said, "father, here is a friend of mine; we're on good terms. please give him anything he asks, for my sake." and the father would quickly bend over and graciously say, "what'll you have? you may have anything you ask when my son asks for it." that is the practical effect of asking in jesus' name. but i am very, very clear of this, and i keep swinging back to it that in the ultimate analysis the force of using jesus' name is that he is the victor over the traitor prince. prayer is repeating the victor's name into the ears of satan and insisting upon his retreat. as one prays persistently in jesus' name, the evil one must go. reluctantly, angrily, he must loosen his clutches, and go back. <u>the birthplace of faith.</u> the sixth suggestion is a familiar one, and yet one much misunderstood. prayer must be _in faith_. but please note that faith here is not believing that god _can_, but that he _will_. it is kneeling and making the prayer, and then saying, "father, i thank thee for this; that it will be so, i thank thee." then rising and going about your duties, saying, "that thing is settled." going again and again, and repeating the prayer with the thanks, and then saying as you go off, "that matter is assured." not going repeatedly to persuade god. but because prayer is the deciding factor in a spirit conflict and each prayer is like a fresh blow between the eyes of the enemy, a fresh broadside from your fleet upon the fort. "well," some one will say, "now you are getting that keyed up rather high. can we all have faith like that? can a man _make_ himself believe?" there should be no unnatural mechanical insisting that you do believe. some earnest people make a mistake there. and we will not all have faith like that. that is quite true, and i can easily tell you why. the faith that believes that god _will_ do what you ask is not born in a hurry; it is not born in the dust of the street, and the noise of the crowd. but i can tell where that faith will have a birthplace and keep growing stronger: in every heart that takes quiet time off habitually with god, and listens to his voice in his word. into that heart will come a simple strong faith that the thing it is led to ask shall be accomplished. that faith has four simple characteristics. it is _intelligent_. it finds out what god's will is. faith is never contrary to reason. sometimes it is a bit higher up; the reasoning process has not yet reached up to it. second, it is _obedient_. it fits its life into god's will. there is apt to be a stiff rub here all the time. then it is _expectant_. it looks out for the result. it bows down upon the earth, but sends a man to keep an eye on the sea. and then it is _persistent_. it hangs on. it says, "go again seven times; seventy times seven." it reasons that having learned god's will, and knowing that he does not change, the delay must be caused by the third person, the enemy, and that stubborn persistence in the victor's name routs him, and leaves a clear field. the listening side of prayer <u>a trained ear.</u> in prayer the ear is an organ of first importance. it is of equal importance with the tongue, but must be named first. for the ear leads the way to the tongue. the child hears a word before it speaks it. through the ear comes the use of the tongue. where the faculties are normal the tongue is trained only through the ear. this is nature's method. the mind is moulded largely through the ear and eye. it reveals itself, and asserts itself largely through the tongue. what the ear lets in, the mind works over, and the tongue gives out. this is the order in isaiah's fiftieth chapter[ ] in those words, prophetic of jesus. "the lord god hath given me the tongue of them that are taught.... he wakeneth my ear to hear as they that are taught." here the taught tongue came through the awakened ear. one reason why so many of us do not have taught tongues is because we give god so little chance at our ears. it is a striking fact that the men who have been mightiest in prayer have known god well. they have seemed peculiarly sensitive to him, and to be overawed with the sense of his love and his greatness. there are three of the old testament characters who are particularly mentioned as being mighty in prayer. jeremiah tells that when god spoke to him about the deep perversity of that nation he exclaimed, "though moses and samuel stood before me my heart could not be towards this people."[ ] when james wants an illustration of a man of prayer for the scattered jews, he speaks of elijah, and of one particular crisis in his life, the praying on carmel's tip-top. these three men are israel's great men in the great crises of its history. moses was the maker and moulder of the nation. samuel was the patient teacher who introduced a new order of things in the national life. elijah was the rugged leader when the national worship of jehovah was about to be officially overthrown. these three men, the maker, the teacher, the emergency leader are singled out in the record as peculiarly men of prayer. now regarding these men it is most interesting to observe what _listeners_ they were to god's voice. their ears were trained early and trained long, until great acuteness and sensitiveness to god's voice was the result. special pains seem to have been taken with the first man, the nation's greatest giant, and history's greatest jurist. there were two distinct stages in the training of his ears. first there were the forty years of solitude in the desert sands, alone with the sheep, and the stars, and--god. his ears were being trained by silence. the bustle and confusion of egypt's busy life were being taken out of his ears. how silent are god's voices. how few men are strong enough to be able to endure silence. for in silence god is speaking to the inner ear. "let us then labour for an inward stillness-- an inward stillness and an inward healing; that perfect silence where the lips and heart are still, and we no longer entertain our own imperfect thoughts and vain opinions, but god alone speaks in us, and we wait in singleness of heart, that we may know his will, and in the silence of our spirits, that we may do his will, and do that only."[ ] a gentleman was asked by an artist friend of some note to come to his home, and see a painting just finished. he went at the time appointed, was shown by the attendant into a room which was quite dark, and left there. he was much surprised, but quietly waited developments. after perhaps fifteen minutes his friend came into the room with a cordial greeting, and took him up to the studio to see the painting, which was greatly admired. before he left the artist said laughingly, "i suppose you thought it queer to be left in that dark room so long." "yes," the visitor said. "i did." "well," his friend replied, "i knew that if you came into my studio with the glare of the street in your eyes you could not appreciate the fine colouring of the picture. so i left you in the dark room till the glare had worn out of your eyes." the first stage of moses' prayer-training was wearing the noise of egypt out of his ears so he could hear the quiet fine tones of god's voice. he who would become skilled in prayer must take a silence course in the university of arabia. then came the second stage. forty years were followed by forty days, twice over, of listening to god's speaking voice up in the mount. such an ear-course as that made a skilled famous intercessor. samuel had an earlier course than moses. while yet a child before his ears had been dulled by earth sounds they were tuned to the hearing of god's voice. the child heart and ear naturally open upward. they hear easily and believe readily. the roadway of the ear has not been beaten down hard by much travel. god's rains and dews have made it soft, and impressionable. this child's ear was quickly trained to recognize god's voice. and the tented hebrew nation soon came to know that there was a man in their midst to whom god was talking. o, to keep the heart and inner ear of a child as mature years come! of the third of these famous intercessors little is known except of the few striking events in which he figured. of these, the scene that finds its climax in the opening on carmel's top of the rain-windows, occupies by far the greater space. and it is notable that the beginning of that long eighteenth chapter of first kings which tells of the carmel conflict begins with a message to elijah from god: "the word of the lord came to elijah: ... i will send rain upon the earth." that was the foundation of that persistent praying and sevenfold watching on the mountaintop. first the ear heard, then the voice persistently claimed, and the eye expectantly looked. first the voice of god, then the voice of man. that is the true order. tremendous results always follow that combination. <u>through the book to god.</u> with us the training is of the _inner_ ear. and its first training, after the early childhood stage is passed, must usually be through the eye. what god has spoken to others has been written down for us. we hear through our eyes. the eye opens the way to the inner ear. god spoke in his word. he is still speaking in it and through it. the whole thought here is to get _to know god._ he reveals himself in the word that comes from his own lips, and through his messengers' lips. he reveals himself in his dealings with men. every incident and experience of these pages is a mirror held up to god's face. in them we may come to see him. this is studying the bible not for the bible's sake but for the purpose of knowing god. the object aimed at is not the book but the god revealed in the book. a man may go to college and take lectures on the english bible, and increase his knowledge, and enrich his vocabulary, and go away with utterly erroneous ideas of god. he may go to a law school and study the codes of the first great jurist, and get a clear understanding and firm grasp of the mosaic enactments, as he must do to lay the foundation of legal training, yet he may remain ignorant of god. he may even go to a bible school, and be able to analyze and synthesize, give outlines of books, and contents of chapters and much else of that invaluable and indispensable sort of knowledge and yet fail to understand god and his marvellous love-will. it is not the book with which we are concerned here but the god through the book. not to learn truth but through truth to know him who is himself the truth. there is a fascinating bit of story told of one of david's mighty men.[ ] one day there was a sudden attack upon the camp by the philistines when the fighting men were all away. this man alone was there. the philistines were the traditional enemy. the very word "philistines" was one to strike terror to the hebrew heart. but this man was reckoned one of the first three of david's mighty men because of his conduct that day. he quietly, quickly gripped his sword and fought the enemy single-handed. up and down, left and right, hip and thigh he smote with such terrific earnestness and drive that the enemy turned and fled. and we are told that the muscles of his hand became so rigid around the handle of his sword that he could not tell by the feeling where his hand stopped, and the sword began. man and sword were one that day in the action of service against the nation's enemy. when we so absorb this book, and the spirit of him who is its life that people cannot tell the line of division between the man, and the god within the man, then shall we have mightiest power as god's intercessors in defeating the foe. god and man will be as one in the action of service against the enemy. <u>a spirit illumined mind.</u> i want to make some simple suggestions for studying this book so as to get to god through it. there will be the emphasis of doubling back on one's tracks here. for some of the things that should be said have already been said with a different setting. first there must be the _time_ element. one must get at least a half hour daily when the mind is fresh. a tired mind does not readily _absorb_. this should be persisted in until there is a habitual spending of at least that much time daily over the book, with a spirit at leisure from all else, so it can take in. then the time should be given to _the book itself_. if other books are consulted and read as they will be let that be _after_ the reading of this book. let god talk to you direct, rather than through somebody else. give him first chance at your ears. this book in the central place of your table, the others grouped about it. first time given to it. a third suggestion brings out the circle of this work. _read prayerfully._ we learn how to pray by reading prayerfully. this book does not reveal its sweets and strength to the keen mind merely, but to the spirit enlightened mind. all the mental keenness possible, _with the bright light of the spirit's illumination_--that is the open sesame. i have sometimes sought the meaning of some passage from a keen scholar who could explain the orientalisms, the fine philological distinctions, the most accurate translations, and all of that, who yet did not seem to know the simple spiritual meaning of the words being discussed. and i have asked the same question of some old saint of god, who did not know hebrew from a hen's tracks, but who seemed to sense at once the deep spiritual truth taught. the more knowledge, the keener the mind, the better _if_ illumined by the spirit that inspired these writings. there is a fourth word to put in here. we must read _thoughtfully_. thoughtfulness is in danger of being a lost art. newspapers are so numerous, and literature so abundant, that we are becoming a bright, but a _not thoughtful_ people. often the stream is very wide but has no depth. fight shallowness. insist on reading thoughtfully. a very suggestive word in the bible for this is "_meditate_." run through and pick out this word with its variations. the word underneath that english word means to mutter, as though a man were repeating something over and over again, as he turned it over in his mind. we have another word, with the same meaning, not much used now--ruminate. we call the cow a ruminant because she chews the cud. she will spend hours chewing the cud, and then give us the rich milk and cream and butter which she has extracted from her food. that is the word here--ruminate. chew the cud, if you would get the richest cream and butter here. and it is remarkable how much chewing this book of god will stand, in comparison with other books. you chew a while on tennyson, or browning, or longfellow. and i am not belittling these noble writings. i have my own favourite among these men. but they do not yield the richest and yet richer cream found here. this book of god has stood more of that sort of thing than any other, yet it is the freshest book to be found to-day. you read a passage over the two hundredth time and some new fine bit of meaning comes that you had not suspected to be there. there is a fifth suggestion, that is easier to make than to follow. _read obediently._ as the truth appeals to your conscience _let it change your habit and life_. "light obeyed, increased light: light resisted, bringeth night who shall give us power to choose if the love of light we lose?"[ ] jesus gives the law of knowledge in his famous words, "if any man willeth to do his will he shall know of the teaching."[ ] if we do what we know to do, we will know more. if we know to do, and hesitate and hold back, and do not obey, the inner eye will surely go blind, and the sense of right be dulled and lost. obedience to truth is the eye of the mind. <u>wide reading.</u> then one needs to have a _plan_ of reading. a consecutive plan gathers up the fragments of time into a strong whole. get a good plan, and stick to it. better a fairly good plan faithfully followed, than the best plan if used brokenly or only occasionally. probably all the numerous methods of study may be grouped under three general heads, wide reading, topical study, and textual. we all do some textual study in a more or less small way. digging into a sentence or verse to get at its true and deep meaning. we all do some topical study probably. gathering up statements on some one subject, studying a character. the more pretentious name is biblical theology, finding and arranging all that is taught in the whole range of the bible on any one theme. but i want especially to urge _wide reading_, as being the basis of all study. it is the simple, the natural, the scientific method. it is adapted to all classes of persons. i used to suppose it was suited best to college students, and such; but i was mistaken. it is _the_ method of all for all. it underlies all methods of getting a grasp of this wonderful book, and so coming to as full and rounded an understanding of god as is possible to men down here. by wide reading is meant a _rapid reading through_ regardless of verse, chapter, or book divisions. reading it as _a narrative_, a story. as you would read any book, "the siege of pekin," "the story of an untold love," to find out the story told, and be able to tell to another. there will be a reverence of spirit with this book that no other inspires, but with the same intellectual method of running through to see what is here. no book is so fascinating as the bible when read this way. the revised version is greatly to be preferred here simply because it is a _paragraph_ version. it is printed more like other books. some day its printed form will be yet more modernized, and so made easier to read. to illustrate, begin at the first of genesis, and read rapidly through _by the page_. do not try to understand all. you will not. never mind that now. just push on. do not try to remember all. do not think about that. let stick to you what will. you will be surprised to find how much will. you may read ten or twelve pages in your first half hour. next time start in where you left off. you may get through genesis in three or four times, or less or more, depending on your mood, and how fast your habit of reading may be. you will find a whole bible in genesis. a wonderfully fascinating book this genesis. for love stories, plotting, swift action, beautiful language it more than matches the popular novel. but do not stop at the close of genesis. push on into exodus. the connection is immediate. it is the same book. and so on into leviticus. now do not try to understand leviticus the first time. you will not the hundredth time perhaps. but you can easily group its contents: these chapters tell of the offerings: these of the law of offerings: here is an incident put in: here sanitary regulations: get the drift of the book. and in it all be getting the picture of god--_that is the one point_. and so on through. a second stage of this wide reading is fitting together the parts. you know the arrangement of our bible is not chronological wholly, but topical. the western mind is almost a slave to chronological order. but the oriental was not so disturbed. for example, open your bible to the close of esther, and again at the close of malachi. this from genesis to esther we all know is the historical section: and this second section the poetical and prophetical section. there is some history in the prophecy, and some prophecy and poetry in the historical part. but in the main this first is historical, and this second poetry and prophecy. these two parts belong together. this first section was not written, and then this second. the second belongs in between the leaves of the first. it was taken out and put by itself because the arrangement of the whole book is topical rather than chronological. now the second stage of wide reading is this: fit these parts together. fit the poetry and the prophecy into the history. do it on your own account, as though it had never been done. it has been done much better than you will do it. and you will make some mistakes. you can check those up afterwards by some of the scholarly books. and you cannot tell where some parts belong. but meanwhile the thing to note is this: you are absorbing the book. it is becoming a part of you, bone of your bone, and flesh of your flesh, mentally, and spiritually. you are drinking in its spirit in huge draughts. there is coming a new vision of god, which will transform radically the reverent student. in it all seek to acquire _the historical sense_. that is, put yourself back and see what this thing, or this, meant to these men, as it was first spoken, under these immediate circumstances. and so push on into the new testament. do not try so much to fit the four gospels into one connected story, dovetailing all the parts; but try rather to get a clear grasp of jesus' movements those few years as told by these four men. fit paul's letters into the book of acts, the best you can. the best book to help in checking up here is conybeare and howson's "life and letters of st. paul." that may well be one of the books in your collection. you see at once that this is a method not for a month, nor for a year, but for years. the topical and textual study grow naturally out of it. and meanwhile you are getting an intelligent grasp of this wondrous classic, you are absorbing the finest literature in the english tongue, and infinitely better yet, you are breathing into your very being a new, deep, broad, tender conception of _god_. <u>a mirror held up to god's face.</u> it is simply fascinating too, to find what light floods these pages as they are read back in their historical setting, so far as that is possible. for example turn to the third psalm, fifth verse, "i laid me down and slept; i awaked; for the lord sustaineth me." i was brought up in an old-fashioned church where that was sung. i knew it by heart. as a boy i supposed it meant that night-time had come, and david was sleepy; he had his devotions, and went to bed, and had a good night's sleep. that was all it had suggested to me. but on my first swing through of the wide reading, my eye was caught, as doubtless yours has often been, by the inscription at the beginning of the psalm: "a psalm of david, _when he fled from absalom his son_." quickly i turned back to second samuel to find that story. and i got this picture. david, an old white-haired man, hurrying one day, barefooted, out of his palace, and his capital city, with a few faithful friends, fleeing for his life, because absalom his favourite son was coming with the strength of the national army to take the kingdom, and his own father's life. and that night as the king lay down to try to catch some sleep, it was upon the bare earth, with only heaven's blue dome for a roof. and as he lay he could almost hear the steady tramp, tramp of the army, over the hills, seeking his throne and his life. let me ask you, honestly now; do you think you would have slept much that night? i fear i would have been tempted sorely to lie awake thinking: "here i am, an old man, driven from my kingdom, and my home, by my own boy, that i have loved better than my own life." do you think _you_ would have slept much? tell me. but david speaking of that night afterwards wrote this down:--"i laid me down, and _slept; i awaked_; (the thought is, i awaked _refreshed_) for the lord sustaineth me." and i thought, as first that came to me, "i never will have insomnia again: i'll trust." and so you see a lesson of trust in god came, in my wide reading, out of the historical setting, that greatly refreshed and strengthened, and that i have never forgotten. what a god, to give sleep under such circumstances! a fine illustration of this same thing is found in the new testament in paul's letter to the philippians. at one end of that epistle is this scene: paul, lying in the inner damp cell of a prison, its small creeping denizens familiarly examining this newcomer, in the darkness of midnight, his back bleeding from the stripes, his bones aching, and his feet fast in the stocks. that is one half of the historical setting of this book. and here is the other half: paul, a prisoner in rome. if he tries to ease his body by changing his position, swinging one limb over the other, a chain dangling at his ankle reminds him of the soldier by his side. as he picks up a quill to put a last loving word out of his tender heart for these old friends, a chain pulls at his wrist. that is philippians, the prison epistle, resounding with clanking chain. what is the keyword of the book, occurring oftener than any other? patience? surely that would be appropriate. long-suffering? still more fitting would that seem. but, no, the keyword stands in sharpest contrast to these surroundings. paul used clouds to make the sun's shining more beautiful. joy, rejoice, rejoicing, is the music singing all the way through these four chapters. what a wondrous master, this jesus, so to inspire his friend doing his will! every incident and occurrence of these pages becomes a mirror held up to god's face that we may see how wondrous he is. "upon thy word i rest each pilgrim day. this golden staff is best for all the way. what jesus christ hath spoken, cannot be broken! "upon thy word i rest; so strong, so sure, so full of comfort blest, so sweet, so pure: the charter of salvation: faith's broad foundation. "upon thy word i stand: that cannot die. christ seals it in my hand. he cannot lie. thy word that faileth never: abiding ever."[ ] something about god's will in connection with prayer <u>he came to his own.</u> the purpose of prayer is to get god's will done. what a stranger god is in his own world! nobody is so much slandered as he. he comes to his own, and they keep him standing outside the door, like a pilgrim of the night, staff in hand, while they peer suspiciously at him through the crack of the hinges. some of us shrink back from making a full surrender of life to god. and if the real reason were known it would be found to be that we are _afraid_ of god. we fear he will put something bitter in the cup, or some rough thing in the road. and without doubt the reason we are afraid of god is because we do not _know_ god. the great prayer of jesus' heart that night with the eleven was, "that they may _know_ thee the only true god, and jesus christ whom thou didst send." to understand god's will we must understand something of his character, himself. there are five common every-day words i want to bring you to suggest something of who god is. they are familiar words, in constant use. the first is the word _father_. "father" stands for strength, loving strength. a father plans, and provides for, and protects his loved ones. all fathers are not good. how man can extract the meaning out of a fine word, and use the word without its meaning. if you will think of the finest father ever you knew that anybody ever had; think of him now. then remember this, god is a father, only he is so much finer a father than the finest father you ever knew of. and his will for your _life_--i am not talking about heaven, and our souls just now, that is in it too--his will for your life down here these days is a father's will for the one most dearly loved. the second word is a finer word. because woman is finer than man, and was made, and meant to be, this second word is finer than the first. i mean the word _mother_. if father stands for strength, mother stands for love,--great, patient, tender, fine-fibred, enduring love. what would she not do for her loved one! why, not unlikely she went down into the valley of the shadow that that life might come; and did it gladly with the love-light shining out of her eyes. yes, and would do it again, that the life may remain if need be. that is a mother. you think of the finest mother ever you knew. and the suggestion brings the most hallowed memories to my own heart. then remember this: god is a mother, only he is so much finer a mother than the finest mother you ever knew. the references in scripture to god as a mother are numerous. "under his wings" is a mother figure. the mother-bird gathers her brood up under her wings to feel the heat of her body, and for protection. the word mother is not used for god in the bible. i think it is because with god "father" includes "mother." it takes more of the human to tell the story than of the divine. with god, all the strength of the father and all the fine love of the mother are combined in that word "father." and his will for us is a mother's will, a wise loving mother's will for the darling of her heart. the third word is _friend_. i do not mean to use it in the cheaper meaning. there is a certain kindliness of speech in which all acquaintances are called friends. tupper says, we call all men friends who are not known to be enemies. but i mean to use the word in its finer meaning. here, a friend is one who loves you for your sake only and steadfastly loves without regard to any return, even a return-love. the english have a saying that you may fill a church with your acquaintances, and not fill the pulpit seats with your friends. if you may have in your life one or two real friends you are very wealthy. if you will think for a moment of the very best friend you ever knew anybody to have. then remember this: god is a friend. only he is ever so much better a friend than the best friend you ever knew of. and the plan he has thought out for your life is such a one as that word would suggest. the fourth word, i almost hesitate to use, yet i am sure i need not here. the hesitancy is because the word and its relationship are spoken of lightly, frivolously, so much, even in good circles. i mean that rare fine word _lover_. where two have met, and acquaintance has deepened into friendship, and that in turn into the holiest emotion, the highest friendship. what would he not do for her! she becomes the new human centre of his life. in a good sense he worships the ground she treads upon. and she--she will leave wealth for poverty if only so she may be with him in the coming days. she will leave home and friends, and go to the ends of the earth if his service calls him there. you think of the finest lover, man or woman, you ever knew anybody to have. then remember this, and let me say it in soft, reverent tones, god is a lover--shall i say in yet more reverent voice, a sweetheart-lover. only he is so much finer a lover than the finest lover you ever knew of. and his will, his plan for your life and mine--it hushes my heart to say it--is a lover's plan for his only loved one. the fifth word is this fourth word a degree finer spun, a stage farther on, and higher up, the word _husband_. this is the word on the man side for the most hallowed relationship of earth. this is the lover relationship in its perfection stage. with men husband is not always a finer word than lover. the more's the pity. how man does cheapen god's plan of things; leaves out the kernel, and keeps only an empty shell sometimes. in god's thought a husband is a lover _plus_. he is all that the finest lover is, and more; more tender, more eager, more thoughtful. two lives are joined, and begin living one life. two wills, yet one. two persons, yet one purpose. duality in unity. will you call to mind for a moment the best husband you ever knew any woman to have. then remember this that god is a husband; only he is an infinitely more thoughtful husband than any you ever knew. and his will for your life is a husband's will for his life's friend and companion. now, please, do not _you_ take one of these words, and say, "i like that"; and _you_ another and say, "that conception of god appeals to me," and _you_ another. how we do whittle god down to our narrow conceptions! you must take all five words, and think the finest meaning into each, and then put them all together, to get a close up idea of god. he is all that, _and more_. you see god is so much that it takes a number of earth's relationships put together to get a good suggestion of what he is. he is a father, a mother, a friend, a lover, a husband. i have not brought book, and chapter, and verse. but you know i could spend a long time with you reading over the numerous passages giving these conceptions of god. and god's will for us is the plan of such a god as that. it includes the body, health and strength; the family and home matters; money and business matters; friendships, including the choice of life's chief friend; it includes service, what service and where; and constant guidance; it includes the whole life, and the world of lives. all this he has thought into, lovingly, carefully. does a wise mother think of her child's needs into the details, the necessities and the loving extras? that is god. <u>the one purpose of prayer.</u> now, the whole thought in prayer is to get the will of a god like that done in our lives and upon this old earth. the greatest prayer any one can offer is, "thy will be done." it will be offered in a thousand different forms, with a thousand details, as needs arise daily. but every true prayer comes under those four words. there is not a good desirable thing that you have thought of that he has not thought of first, and probably with an added touch not in your thought. not to grit your teeth and lock your jaw and pray for grace to say, "thy will be _endured_: it is bitter, but i must be resigned; that is a christian grace; thy will be _endured_." not that, please. do not slander god like that. there is a superficial idea among men that charges god with many misfortunes and ills for which he is not at all responsible. he is continually doing the very best that can be done under the circumstances for the best results. he has a bad mixture of stubborn warped human wills to deal with. with infinite patience and skill and diplomacy and success too he is ever working at the tangled skein of human life, through the human will. it may help us here to remember that god has a first and a second will for us: a first choice and a second. he always prefers that his first will shall be accomplished in us. but where we will not be wooed up to that height, he comes down to the highest level we will come up to, and works with us there. for instance, god's first choice for israel was that he himself should be their king. there was to be no human, visible king, as with the surrounding nations. he was to be their king. they were to be peculiar in this. but to samuel's sorrow and yet more to god's, they insisted upon a king. and so god gave them a king. and david the great shepherd-psalmist-king was a man after god's own heart, and the world's saviour came of the davidic line. god did his best upon the level they chose and a great best it was. yet the human king and line of kings was not god's first will, but a second will yielded to because the first would not be accepted. god is ever doing the best for human lives that can be done through the human will. his first will for our bodies, without doubt, is that there should be a strong healthy body for each of us. but there is a far higher thing being aimed at in us than that. and with keen pain to his own heart, he oft times permits bodily weakness and suffering because in the conditions of our wills only so can these higher and highest things be gotten at. and where the human will comes into intelligent touch with himself, and the higher can so be reached, with great gladness and eagerness the bodily difficulty is removed by him. there are two things, at least, that modify god's first will for us. first of all the degree of our intelligent willingness that he shall have his full sway. and second, the circumstances of one's life. each of us is the centre of a circle of people, an ever changing circle. if we be in touch with him god is speaking through each of us to his circle. our experiences with god: his dealings with us, under the varying circumstances are a part of his message to that circle. god is trying to win men. it takes marvellous diplomacy on his part. and god is a wondrous tactician. but--very reverently--he is a needy god. he needs us to help him, each in his circle. we must be perfectly willing to have his will done; and more, we must trust him to know what is best to do in us and with us in the circle of our circumstances. god is a great economist. he wastes no forces. every bit is being conserved towards the great end in view. there may be a false submission to his supposed will in some affliction; a not reaching out after _all_ that he has for us. and at the other swing of the pendulum there may be a sort of _logical praying_ for some desirable thing because a friend tells us we should claim it. by logical praying i mean the studying of a statement of god's word, and possibly some one's explanation of it, and hearing or knowing how somebody else has claimed a certain thing through that statement and then concluding that therefore we should so claim. the trouble with that is that it stops too soon. praying in the spirit as opposed to logical praying is doing this logical thinking: _then_ quietly taking all to god, to learn what his will is for _you_, under your circumstances, and in the circle of people whom he touches through you. <u>the spirit's prayer room.</u> there is a remarkable passage in paul's roman letter about prayer and god's will.[ ] "and in like manner the spirit also helpeth our infirmity: for we know not how to pray as we ought; but the spirit himself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered; and he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the spirit, that he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of god." please notice: these words connect back with the verses ending with verse seventeen. verses eighteen to twenty-five are a parenthesis. as the spirit within breathes out the "father" cry of a child, which is the prayer-cry, so he helps us in praying. it is our infirmity that we do not know how to pray _as we ought_. there is willingness and eagerness too. no bother there. but a lack of knowledge. we don't know how. but the spirit knows how. he is the master-prayor. he knows god's will perfectly. he knows what best to be praying under all circumstances. and he is within you and me. he is there as a prayer-spirit. he prompts us to pray. he calls us away to the quiet room to our knees. he inclines to prayer wherever we are. he is thinking thoughts that find no response in us. they cannot be expressed in our lips for they are not in our thinking. he prays with an intensity quite beyond the possibility of language to express. and the heart-searcher--god listening above--knows fully what this praying spirit is thinking within me, and wordlessly praying, for they are one. he recognizes his own purposes and plans being repeated in this man down on the earth by his own spirit. and the great truth is that the spirit within us prays god's will. he teaches us god's will. he teaches us how to pray god's will. and he himself prays god's will in us. and further that he seeks to pray god's will--that is to pray for the thing god has planned--in us before we have yet reached up to where we know ourselves what that will is. we should be ambitious to cultivate a healthy sensitiveness to this indwelling spirit. and when there comes that quick inner wooing away to pray let us faithfully obey. even though we be not clear what the particular petition is to be let us remain in prayer while he uses us as the medium of his praying. oftentimes the best prayer to offer about some friend, or some particular thing, after perhaps stating the case the best we can is this: "holy spirit, be praying in me the thing the father wants done. father, what the spirit within me is praying, that is my prayer in jesus' name. thy will, what thou art wishing and thinking, may that be fully done here." <u>how to find god's will.</u> we should make a study of god's will. we ought to seek to become skilled in knowing his will. the more we know him the better shall we be able to read intelligently his will. it may be said that god has two wills for each of us, or, better, there are two parts to his will. there is his will of grace, and his will of government. his will of grace is plainly revealed in his word. it is that we shall be saved, and made holy, and pure, and by and by glorified in his own presence. his will of government is his particular plan for my life. god has every life planned. the highest possible ambition for a life is to reach god's plan. he reveals that to us bit by bit as we need to know. if the life is to be one of special service he will make that plain, what service, and where, and when. then each next step he will make plain. learning his will here hinges upon three things, simple enough but essential. i must keep _in touch_ with him so he has an open ear to talk into. i must _delight_ to do his will, _because it is his_. the third thing needs special emphasis. many who are right on the first two stumble here, and sometimes measure their length on the ground. _his word must be allowed to discipline my judgment as to himself and his will_. many of us stumble on number one and on number two. and very many willing earnest men sprawl badly when it comes to number three. the bother with these is the lack of a disciplined judgment about god and his will. if we would prayerfully _absorb_ the book, there would come a better poised judgment. we need to get a broad sweep of god's thought, to breathe him in as he reveals himself in this book. the meek man--that is the man willing to yield his will to a higher will--will he guide in his judgment, that is, in his mental processes.[ ] this is john's standpoint in that famous passage in his first epistle.[ ] "and this is the boldness that we have towards him, that, if we ask anything according to his will, he heareth us: and if we know that he heareth us whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of him." these words dovetail with great nicety into those already quoted from paul in the eighth of romans. the whole supposition here is that we have learned his will about the particular matter in hand. having gotten that footing, we go to prayer with great boldness. for if he wants a thing and i want it and we join--that combination cannot be broken. may we pray with assurance for the conversion of our loved ones <u>god's door into a home.</u> the heart of god hungers to redeem the world. for that he gave his own, only son though the treatment he received tore that father's heart to the bleeding. for that he sent the holy spirit to do in men what the son had done for them. for that he placed in human hands the mightiest of all forces--prayer, that so we might become partners with him. for that too he set man in the relationships of kinship and friendship. he wins men through men. man is the goal, and he is also the road to the goal. man is the object aimed at. and he is the medium of approach, whether the advance be by god or by satan. god will not enter a man's heart without his consent, and satan _can_not. god would reach men through men, and satan must. and so god has set us in the strongest relation that binds men, the relation of love, that he may touch one through another. kinship is a relation peculiar to man, and to the earth. i have at times been asked by some earnest sensitive persons if it is not selfish to be especially concerned for one's own, over whom the heart yearns much, and the prayer offered is more tender and intense and more frequent. well, if _you_ do not pray for them who will? who _can_ pray for them with such believing persistent fervour as you! god has set us in the relationship of personal affection and of kinship for just such a purpose. he binds us together with the ties of love that we may be concerned for each other. if there be but one in a home in touch with god, that one becomes god's door into the whole family. contact means opportunity, and that in turn means responsibility. the closer the contact the greater the opportunity and the greater too the responsibility. unselfishness does not mean to exclude one's self, and one's own. it means right proportions in our perspective. humility is not whipping one's self. it is forgetting one's self in the thought of others. yet even that may be carried to a bad extreme. not only is it not selfish so to pray, it is a part of god's plan that we should so pray. i am most responsible for the one to whom i am most closely related. <u>a free agent enslaved.</u> one of the questions that is more often asked in this connection than any other perhaps is this: may we pray with assurance for the conversion of our loved ones? no question sets more hearts in an audience to beating faster than does that. i remember speaking in the boston noonday meeting, in the old broomfield street m. e. church on this subject one week. perhaps i was speaking rather positively. and at the close of the meeting one day a keen, cultured christian woman whom i knew came up for a word. she said, "i do not think we can pray like that." and i said, "why not?" she paused a moment, and her well-controlled agitation revealed in eye and lip told me how deeply her thoughts were stirred. then she said quietly, "i have a brother. he is not a christian. the theatre, the wine, the club, the cards--that is his life. and he laughs at me. i would rather than anything else that my brother were a christian. but," she said, and here both her keenness and the training of her early teaching came in, "i do not think i can pray positively for his conversion, for he is a free agent, is he not? and god will not save a man against his will." i want to say to you to-day what i said to her. man _is_ a free agent, to use the old phrase, so far as god is concerned; utterly, wholly free. _and_, he is the most enslaved agent on the earth, so far as sin, and selfishness and prejudice are concerned. the purpose of our praying is not to force or coerce his will; never that. it is to _free_ his will of the warping influences that now twist it awry. it is to get the dust out of his eyes so his sight shall be clear. and once he is free, able to see aright, to balance things without prejudice, the whole probability is in favour of his using his will to choose the only right. i want to suggest to you the ideal prayer for such a one. it is an adaptation of jesus' own words. it may be pleaded with much variety of detail. it is this: deliver him from the evil one; and work in him _thy will_ for him, by thy power to thy glory in jesus, the victor's name. and there are three special passages upon which to base this prayer. first timothy, second chapter, fourth verse (american version), "god our saviour, who would have all men to be saved." that is god's will for your loved one. second peter, third chapter, ninth verse, "not wishing (or willing) that any should perish but that all should come to repentance." that is god's will, or desire, for the one you are thinking of now. the third passage is on our side who do the praying. it tells who may offer this prayer with assurance. john, fifteenth chapter, seventh verse, "if ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, you ask what it is your will to ask, and i will bring it to pass for you." there is a statement of paul's in second timothy that graphically pictures this:[ ] "the lord's servant must not strive "--not argue, nor combat--"but be gentle towards all, apt to teach"--ready and skilled in explaining, helping--"in meekness correcting (or, instructing) them that oppose themselves; if peradventure god may give them repentance unto the knowledge of the truth, and _they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil_, having been taken captive by him unto his will." that word "deliver" in this prayer, as used by jesus, the word under our english, has a picturesque meaning. it means _rescue_. here is a man taken captive, and in chains. but he has become infatuated with his captor, and is befooled regarding his condition. our prayer is, "rescue him from the evil one," and because jesus is victor over the captor, the rescue will take place. without any doubt we may assure the conversion of these laid upon our hearts by such praying. the prayer in jesus' name drives the enemy off the battle-field of the man's will, and leaves him free to choose aright. there is one exception to be noted, a very, very rare exception. there may be _extreme_ instances where such a prayer may not be offered; where the spirit of prayer is withdrawn. but such are very rare and extreme, and the conviction regarding that will be unmistakable beyond asking any questions. and i cannot resist the conviction--i greatly dislike to say this, i would much rather not if i regarded either my own feelings or yours. but i cannot resist the conviction--listen very quietly, so i may speak in quietest tones--that there are people ... in that lower, lost world ... who are there ... because some one failed to put his life in touch with god, and pray. <u>the place where god is not.</u> having said that much let me go on to say this further, and please let me say it all in softest sobbing voice--there is a hell. there must be a hell. you may leave this bible sheer out of your reckoning in the matter. still there must be a place for which that word of ugliest associations is the word to use. _philosophically_ there must be a hell. that is the name for the place where god is not; for the place where they will gather together who insist on leaving god out. god out! there can be no worse hell than that! god away! man held back by no restraints! i am very clear it is _not_ what men have pictured it to be. it is not what my childish fancy saw and shrank from terrified. and, please let us be very careful that we never consign anybody there, in our thinking or speaking about them. when that life whose future might be questioned has gone the most we can say is that we leave it with a god infinitely just and the personification of love. there has been in some quarters an unthinking consigning of persons to a lost world. and there has been in our day a clean swing of the pendulum to the other extreme. both drifts are to be dreaded. let us deal very tenderly here, yet with a right plainness in our tenderness. we are to warn men faithfully. we know the book's plain teaching that these who prefer to leave god out "shall go away." the going is of their own accord and choice. regarding particular ones we do not know and are best silent. the grave is closing. let us deal with the living. one day at the close of the morning hour at a bible conference in the alleghany mountains a young woman came up for a moment's conversation. she spoke about a friend, not a professing christian, for whom she had prayed much, and who had died unexpectedly. he had passed away during unconsciousness, with no opportunity for exchange of words. she was much agitated as the facts were recited, and then said as she finished, "he is lost and in hell: and i can never pray again." we talked quietly awhile and i gathered the following facts. he was of a christian family, perfectly familiar with the bible, was a thoughtful man, of outwardly correct life in the main, had talked about these matters with others but had never either in conversation or more openly confessed personal faith in christ. he was not in good health. then came the sudden end. one other fact came out. she had prayed for his conversion for a long time. she was herself an earnest christian woman, solicitous for others. there were four facts to go upon regarding him. he knew the way to god. he was thoughtful. he had never openly accepted. some one had prayed. can one _know_ anything certainly about that man's condition? there are two sorts of knowledge, direct and inferential. i know there is such a city as london for i have walked its streets. that is direct knowledge. i know there is such a city as st. petersburg because though i have never been there, yet through my reading, pictures i have seen, and friends who have been there i am clear of its existence to the point of _knowledge_. that is inferential knowledge. now regarding this man after he slipped from the grasp of his friends, i have no direct knowledge. but i have very positive inferential knowledge based upon these four facts. three of the facts, namely, the first, second, and fourth were favourable to the end desired. the third swings neither way. the great dominant fact in the case is the fourth, and a great and dominating fact it is in judging--some one in touch with god had been persistently, believingly praying up to the time of the quick end. that fact with the others gives strong inferential knowledge regarding the man. it is sufficient to comfort a heart, and give one renewed faith in praying for others. <u>saving the life.</u> we cannot know a man's mental processes. this is surely true, that if in the very last half-twinkling of an eye a man look up towards god longingly, that look is the turning of the will to god. and that is quite enough. god is eagerly watching with hungry eyes for the quick turn of a human eye up to himself. doubtless many a man has so turned in the last moment of his life when we were not conscious of his consciousness, nor aware of the movements of his outwardly unconscious sub-consciousness. one may be unconscious of outer things, and yet be keenly conscious towards god. at another of these summer gatherings this incident came to me. a man seemingly of mature mind and judgment told me of a friend of his. that was as close as i got to the friend himself. this friend was not a professing christian, was thrown from a boat, sank twice and perhaps three times, and then was rescued, and after some difficulty resuscitated. he told afterwards how swiftly his thoughts came as they are said to do to one in such circumstances. he thought surely he was drowning, was quiet in his mind, thought of god and how he had not been trusting him, and in his thought he prayed for forgiveness. he lived afterwards a consistent christian life. this illustrates simply the possibilities open to one in his keen inner mental processes. here is surely enough knowledge to comfort many a bereft heart, and enough too to make us pray persistently and believingly for loved ones because of prayer's uncalculated and incalculable power. be sure the prayer-fact is in the case of _your_ friend, _and in strong_. yet let us be wary, very wary of letting this influence us one bit farther. that man is nothing less than a fool who presumes upon such statements to resist god's gracious pleadings for his life. and on our side, we must not fail to warn men lovingly, tenderly yet with plainness of the tremendous danger of delay, in coming to god. a man may be so stupefied at the close as to shut out of his range what has been suggested here. and further even if a man's soul be saved he is responsible to god for his life. we want men to _live_ for jesus, and win others to him. and further, yet, reward, preferment, honour in god's kingdom depends upon faithfulness to him down here. who would be saved by the skin of his teeth! the great fact to have burned in deep is that we may assure the coming to god of our loved ones with their lives, as well as for their souls if we will but press the battle. <u>giving god a clear road for action.</u> out in one of the trans-mississippi states i ran across an illustration of prayer in real life that caught me at once, and has greatly helped me in understanding prayer. fact is more fascinating than fiction. if one could know what is going on around him, how surprised and startled he would be. if we could get _all_ the facts in any one incident, and get them colourlessly, and have the judgment to sift and analyze accurately, what fascinating instances of the power of prayer would be disclosed. there is a double side to this story. the side of the man who was changed, and the side of the woman who prayed. he is a new englander, by birth and breeding, now living in this western state: almost a giant physically, keen mentally, a lawyer, and a natural leader. he had the conviction as a boy that if he became a christian he was to preach. but he grew up a skeptic, read up and lectured on skeptical subjects. he was the representative of a district of his western home state in congress; in his fourth term or so i think at this time. the experience i am telling came during that congress when the hayes-tilden controversy was up, the intensest congress washington has known since the civil war. it was not a time specially suited to meditation about god in the halls of congress. and further he said to me that somehow he knew all the other skeptics who were in the lower house and they drifted together a good bit and strengthened each other by their talk. one day as he was in his seat in the lower house, in the midst of the business of the hour, there came to him a conviction that god--the god in whom he did not believe, whose existence he could keenly disprove--god was right there above his head thinking about him, and displeased at the way he was behaving towards him. and he said to himself: "this is ridiculous, absurd. i've been working too hard; confined too closely; my mind is getting morbid. i'll go out, and get some fresh air, and shake myself." and so he did. but the conviction only deepened and intensified. day by day it grew. and that went on for weeks, into the fourth month as i recall his words. then he planned to return home to attend to some business matters, and to attend to some preliminaries for securing the nomination for the governorship of his state. and as i understand he was in a fair way to securing the nomination, so far as one can judge of such matters. and his party is the dominant party in the state. a nomination for governor by his party has usually been followed by election. he reached his home and had hardly gotten there before he found that his wife and two others had entered into a holy compact of prayer for his conversion, and had been so praying for some months. instantly he thought of his peculiar unwelcome washington experience, and became intensely interested. but not wishing them to know of his interest, he asked carelessly when "this thing began." his wife told him the day. he did some quick mental figuring, and he said to me, "i knew almost instantly that the day she named fitted into the calendar with the coming of that conviction or impression about god's presence." he was greatly startled. he wanted to be thoroughly honest in all his thinking. and he said he knew that if a single fact of that sort could be established, of prayer producing such results, it carried the whole christian scheme of belief with it. and he did some stiff fighting within. had he been wrong all those years? he sifted the matter back and forth as a lawyer would the evidence in any case. and he said to me, "as an honest man i was compelled to admit the facts, and i believe i might have been led to christ that very night." a few nights later he knelt at the altar in the methodist meeting-house in his home town and surrendered his strong will to god. then the early conviction of his boyhood days came back. he was to preach the gospel. and like saul of old, he utterly changed his life, and has been preaching the gospel with power ever since. then i was intensely fascinated in getting the other side, the praying-side of the story. his wife had been a christian for years, since before their marriage. but in some meetings in the home church she was led into a new, a full surrender to jesus christ as master, and had experienced a new consciousness of the holy spirit's presence and power. almost at once came a new intense desire for her husband's conversion. the compact of three was agreed upon, of daily prayer for him until the change came. as she prayed that night after retiring to her sleeping apartment she was in great distress of mind in thinking and praying for him. she could get no rest from this intense distress. at length she rose, and knelt by the bedside to pray. as she was praying and distressed a voice, an exquisitely quiet inner voice said, "will you abide the consequences?" she was startled. such a thing was wholly new to her. she did not know what it meant. and without paying any attention to it, went on praying. again came the same quietly spoken words to her ear, "will you abide the consequences?" and again the half frightened feeling. she slipped back to bed to sleep. but sleep did not come. and back again to her knees, and again the patient, quiet voice. this time with an earnestness bearing the impress of her agony she said, "lord, i will abide any consequence that may come if only my husband may be brought to thee." and at once the distress slipped away, and a new sweet peace filled her being, and sleep quickly came. and while she prayed on for weeks and months patiently, persistently, day by day, the distress was gone, the sweet peace remained in the assurance that the result was surely coming. and so it was coming all those days down in the thick air of washington's lower house, and so it did come. what _was_ the consequence to her? she was a congressman's wife. she would likely have been, so far as such matters may be judged, the wife of the governor of her state, the first lady socially of the state. she is a methodist minister's wife changing her home every few years. a very different position in many ways. no woman will be indifferent to the social difference involved. yet rarely have i met a woman with more of that fine beauty which the peace of god brings, in her glad face, and in her winsome smile. do you see the simple philosophy of that experience. her surrender gave god a clear channel into that man's will. when the roadway was cleared, her prayer was a spirit-force traversing instantly the hundreds of intervening miles, and affecting the spirit-atmosphere of his presence. shall we not put our wills fully in touch with god, and sheer out of sympathy with the other one, and persistently plead and claim for each loved one, "deliver him from the evil one, and work in him thy will, to thy glory, by thy power, in the victor's name." and then add amen--so it _shall_ be. not so _may_ it be--a wish, but so it _shall_ be--an expression of confidence in jesus' power. _and these lives shall be won, and these souls saved_. iv. jesus' habits of prayer . a pen sketch. . dissolving views. . deepening shadows. . under the olive trees. . a composite picture. jesus' habits of prayer <u>a pen sketch.</u> when god would win back his prodigal world he sent down a man. that man while more than man insisted upon being truly a man. he touched human life at every point. no man seems to have understood prayer, and to have prayed as did he. how can we better conclude these quiet talks on prayer than by gathering about his person and studying his habits of prayer. a habit is an act repeated so often as to be done involuntarily; that is, without a new decision of the mind each time it is done. jesus prayed. he loved to pray. sometimes praying was his way of resting. he prayed so much and so often that it became a part of his life. it became to him like breathing--involuntary. there is no thing we need so much as to learn how to pray. there are two ways of receiving instruction; one, by being told; the other, by watching some one else. the latter is the simpler and the surer way. how better can we learn how to pray than by watching how jesus prayed, and then trying to imitate him. not, just now, studying what he _said_ about prayer, invaluable as that is, and so closely interwoven with the other; nor yet how he received the requests of men when on earth, full of inspiring suggestion as that is of his _present_ attitude towards our prayers; but how he himself prayed when down here surrounded by our same circumstances and temptations. there are two sections of the bible to which we at once turn for light, the gospels and the psalms. in the gospels is given chiefly the _outer_ side of his prayer-habits; and in certain of the psalms, glimpses of the _inner_ side are unmistakably revealed. turning now to the gospels, we find the picture of the praying jesus like an etching, a sketch in black and white, the fewest possible strokes of the pen, a scratch here, a line there, frequently a single word added by one writer to the narrative of the others, which gradually bring to view the outline of a lone figure with upturned face. of the fifteen mentions of his praying found in the four gospels, it is interesting to note that while matthew gives three, and mark and john each four, it is luke, paul's companion and mirror-like friend, who, in eleven such allusions, supplies most of the picture. does this not contain a strong hint of the explanation of that other etching plainly traceable in the epistles which reveals paul's own marvellous prayer-life? matthew, immersed in the hebrew scriptures, writes to the jews of their promised davidic king; mark, with rapid pen, relates the ceaseless activity of this wonderful servant of the father. john, with imprisoned body, but rare liberty of vision, from the glory-side revealed on patmos, depicts the son of god coming on an errand from the father into the world, and again, leaving the world and going back home unto the father. but luke emphasizes the _human_ jesus, a _man_--with reverence let me use a word in its old-fashioned meaning--a _fellow_, that is, one of ourselves. and the holy spirit makes it very plain throughout luke's narrative that the _man_ christ jesus _prayed_; prayed _much; needed_ to pray; _loved_ to pray. oh! when shall we men down here, sent into the world as he was sent into the world, with the same mission, the same field, the same satan to combat, the same holy spirit to empower, find out that power lies in keeping closest connection with the sender, and completest insulation from the power-absorbing world! <u>dissolving views.</u> let me rapidily sketch those fifteen mentions of the gospel writers, attempting to keep their chronological order. _the first mention_ is by luke, in chapter three. the first three gospels all tell of jesus' double baptism, but it is luke who adds, "and praying." it was while waiting in prayer that he received the gift of the holy spirit. he _dared_ not begin his public mission without that anointing. it had been promised in the prophetic writings. and now, standing in the jordan, he waits and prays until the blue above is burst through by the gleams of glory-light from the upper-side and the dove-like spirit wings down and abides upon him. _prayer brings power._ prayer _is_ power. the time of prayer is the time of power. the place of prayer is the place of power. prayer is tightening the connections with the divine dynamo so that the power may flow freely without loss or interruption. _the second mention_ is made by mark in chapter one. luke, in chapter four, hints at it, "when it was day he came out and went into a desert place." but mark tells us plainly "in the morning a great while before the day (or a little more literally, 'very early while it was yet very dark') he arose and went out into the desert or solitary place and there prayed." the day before, a sabbath day spent in his adopted home-town capernaum, had been a very busy day for him, teaching in the synagogue service, the interruption by a demon-possessed man, the casting out amid a painful scene; afterwards the healing of peter's mother-in-law, and then at sun-setting the great crowd of diseased and demonized thronging the narrow street until far into the night, while he, passing amongst them, by personal touch, healed and restored every one. it was a long and exhausting day's work. one of us spending as busy a sabbath would probably feel that the next morning needed an extra hour's sleep if possible. one must rest surely. but this man jesus seemed to have another way of resting in addition to sleep. probably he occupied the guest-chamber in peter's home. the house was likely astir at the usual hour, and by and by breakfast was ready, but the master had not appeared yet, so they waited a bit. after a while the maid slips to his room door and taps lightly, but there's no answer; again a little bolder knock, then pushing the door ajar she finds the room unoccupied. where's the master? "ah!" peter says; "i think i know. i have noticed before this that he has a way of slipping off early in the morning to some quiet place where he can be alone." and a little knot of disciples with peter in the lead starts out on a search for him, for already a crowd is gathering at the door and filling the street again, hungry for more. and they "tracked him down" here and there on the hillsides, among clumps of trees, until suddenly they come upon him quietly praying with a wondrous calm in his great eyes. listen to peter as he eagerly blurts out, "master, there's a big crowd down there, all asking for you." but the master's quiet decisive tones reply, "let us go into the next towns that i may preach there also; for to this end came i forth." much easier to go back and deal again with the old crowd of yesterday; harder to meet the new crowds with their new skepticism, but there's no doubt about what _should_ be done. prayer wonderfully clears the vision; steadies the nerves; defines duty; stiffens the purpose; sweetens and strengthens the spirit. the busier the day for him the more surely must the morning appointment be kept,[ ] and even an earlier start made, apparently. the more virtue went forth from him, the more certainly must he spend time, and even _more_ time, alone with him who is the source of power. _the third mention_ is in luke, chapter five. not a great while after the scene just described, possibly while on the trip suggested by his answer to peter, in some one of the numerous galilean villages, moved with the compassion that ever burned his heart, he had healed a badly diseased leper, who, disregarding his express command, so widely published the fact of his remarkable healing that great crowds blocked jesus' way in the village and compelled him to go out to the country district, where the crowds which the village could not hold now throng about him. now note what the master does. the authorized version says, "he withdrew into the wilderness and prayed." a more nearly literal reading would be, "he was retiring in the deserts and praying"; suggesting not a single act, but rather _a habit of action_ running through several days or even weeks. that is, being compelled by the greatness of the crowds to go into the deserts or country, districts, and being constantly thronged there by the people, he had _less opportunity_ to get alone, and yet more need, and so while he patiently continues his work among them he studiously seeks opportunity to retire at intervals from the crowds to pray. how much his life was like ours. pressed by duties, by opportunities for service, by the great need around us, we are strongly tempted to give less time to the inner chamber, with door shut. "surely this work must be done," we think, "though it does crowd and flurry our prayer time some." "_no_," the master's practice here says with intense emphasis. not work first, and prayer to bless it. but the _first_ place given to prayer and then the service growing out of such prayer will be charged with unmeasured power. the greater the outer pressure on his closet-life, the more jealously he guarded against either a shortening of its time or a flurrying of its spirit. the tighter the tension, the more time must there be for unhurried prayer. _the fourth mention_ is found in luke, chapter six. "it came to pass in these days that he went out into the mountains to pray, and he continued all night in prayer to god." the time is probably about the middle of the second year of his public ministry. he had been having very exasperating experiences with the national leaders from judea who dogged his steps, criticising and nagging at every turn, sowing seeds of skepticism among his simple-minded, intense-spirited galileans. it was also the day _before_ he selected the twelve men who were to be the leaders after his departure, and preached the mountain sermon. luke does not say that he _planned_ to spend the entire night in prayer. wearied in spirit by the ceaseless petty picking and satanic hatred of his enemies, thinking of the serious work of the morrow, there was just one thing for him to do. he knew where to find rest, and sweet fellowship, and a calming presence, and wise counsel. turning his face northward he sought the solitude of the mountain not far off for quiet meditation and prayer. and as he prayed and listened and talked without words, daylight gradually grew into twilight, and that yielded imperceptibly to the brilliant oriental stars spraying down their lustrous fire-light. and still he prayed, while the darkness below and the blue above deepened, and the stilling calm of god wrapped all nature around, and hushed his heart into a deeper peace. in the fascination of the father's loving presence he was utterly lost to the flight of time, but prayed on and on until, by and by, the earth had once more completed its daily turn, the gray streaks of dawnlight crept up the east, and the face of palestine, fragrant with the deep dews of an eastern night, was kissed by a sun of a new day. and then, "when it was day"--how quietly the narrative goes on--"he called the disciples and _chose_ from them twelve,--and a great multitude of disciples and of the people came,--and he _healed_ all--and he opened his mouth and _taught_ them--_for power came forth from him."_ is it any wonder, after such a night! if all our exasperations and embarrassments were followed, and all our decisions and utterances preceded, by unhurried prayer, what power would come forth from us, too. because as he is even so are we in this world. _the fifth mention_ is made by matthew, chapter fourteen, and mark, chapter six, john hinting at it in chapter six of his gospel. it was about the time of the third passover, the beginning of his last year of service. both he and the disciples had been kept exceedingly busy with the great throng coming and going incessantly. the startling news had just come of the tragic death of his forerunner. there was need of bodily rest, as well as of quiet to think over the rapidly culminating opposition. so taking boat they headed towards the eastern shore of the lake. but the eager crowds watched the direction taken and spreading the news, literally "ran" around the head of the lake and "out-went them," and when he stepped from the boat for the much-needed rest there was an immense company, numbering thousands, waiting for him. did some feeling of impatience break out among the disciples that they could not be allowed a little leisure? very likely, for they were so much like us. but _he_ was "moved with compassion" and, wearied though he was, patiently spent the entire day in teaching, and then, at eventime when the disciples proposed sending them away for food, he, with a handful of loaves and fishes, satisfied the bodily cravings of as many as five thousand. there is nothing that has so appealed to the masses in all countries and all centuries as ability to furnish plenty to eat. literally tens of thousands of the human race fall asleep every night hungry. so here. at once it is proposed by a great popular uprising, under the leadership of this wonderful man as king, to throw off the oppressive roman yoke. certainly if only his consent could be had it would be immensely successful, they thought. does this not rank with satan's suggestion in the wilderness, and with the later possibility coming through the visit of the greek deputation, of establishing the kingdom without suffering? it was a temptation, even though it found no response within him. with the over-awing power of his presence so markedly felt at times he quieted the movement, "constrained"[ ] the disciples to go by boat before him to the other side while he dismissed the throng. "and after he had _taken leave of them_"--what gentle courtesy and tenderness mingled with his irrevocable decision--"he went up in the mountain _to pray_," and "_continued in prayer_" until the morning watch. a second night spent in prayer! bodily weary, his spirit startled by an event which vividly foreshadowed his own approaching violent death, and now this vigorous renewal of his old temptation, again he had recourse to his one unfailing habit of getting off alone _to pray._ time alone _to pray; more_ time to pray, was his one invariable offset to all difficulties, all temptations, and all needs. how much more there must have been in prayer as he understood and practiced it than many of his disciples to-day know. <u>deepening shadows.</u> we shall perhaps understand better some of the remaining prayer incidents if we remember that jesus is now in the last year of his ministry, the acute state of his experiences with the national leaders preceding the final break. the awful shadow of the cross grows deeper and darker across his path. the hatred of the opposition leader gets constantly intenser. the conditions of discipleship are more sharply put. the inability of the crowds, of the disciples, and others to understand him grows more marked. many followers go back. he seeks to get more time for intercourse with the twelve. he makes frequent trips to distant points on the border of the outside, non-jewish world. the coming scenes and experiences--_the_ scene on the little hillock outside the jerusalem wall--seem never absent from his thoughts. _the sixth mention_ is made by luke, chapter nine. they are up north in the neighbourhood of the roman city of cæsarea philippi. "and it came to pass as he was praying alone, the disciples were with him." alone, so far as the multitudes are concerned, but seeming to be drawing these twelve nearer to his inner life. some of these later incidents seem to suggest that he was trying to woo them into something of the same love for the fascination of secret prayer that he had. how much they would need to pray in the coming years when he was gone. possibly, too, he yearned for a closer fellowship with them. he loved human fellowship, as peter and james and john, and mary and martha and many other gentle women well knew. and there is no fellowship among men to be compared with fellowship _in prayer_. "there is a place where _spirits blend_, where _friend holds fellowship with friend_, a place than all beside more sweet, it is the blood-bought mercy-seat." _the seventh mention_ is in this same ninth chapter of luke, and records a third night of prayer. matthew and mark also tell of the transfiguration scene, but it is luke who explains that he went up into the mountain _to pray_, and that it was _as he was praying_ that the fashion of his countenance was altered. without stopping to study the purpose of this marvellous manifestation of his divine glory to the chosen three at a time when desertion and hatred were so marked, it is enough now to note the significant fact that it was while _he was praying_ that the wondrous change came. _transfigured while praying! _ and by his side stood one who centuries before on the earth had spent so much time alone with god that the glory-light of that presence transfigured _his_ face, though he was unconscious of it. a shining face caused by contact with god! shall not we, to whom the master has said, "follow me," get alone with him and his blessed word, so habitually, with open or uncovered face, that is, with eyesight unhindered by prejudice or self-seeking, that mirroring the glory of his face we shall more and more come to bear his very likeness upon our faces?[ ] "and the face shines bright with a glow of light from his presence sent whom she loves to meet. "yes, the face beams bright with an inner light as by day so by night, in shade as in shine, with a beauty fine, that she wist not of, from some source within. and above. "still the face shines bright with the glory-light from the mountain height. where the resplendent sight of his face fills her view and illumines in turn first the few, then the wide race." _the eighth mention_ is in the tenth chapter of luke. he had organized a band of men, sending them out in two's into the places he expected to visit. they had returned with a joyful report of the power attending their work; and standing in their midst, his own heart overflowing with joy, he looked up and, as though the father's face was visible, spake out to him the gladness of his heart. he seemed to be always conscious of his father's presence, and the most natural thing was to speak to him. they were always within speaking distance of each other, and always on speaking terms. _the ninth mention_ is in the eleventh chapter of luke, very similar to the sixth mention, "it came to pass as he was praying in a certain place that when he ceased one of his disciples said unto him, 'lord, teach us to pray.'" without doubt these disciples were praying men. he had already talked to them a great deal about prayer. but as they noticed how large a place prayer had in his life, and some of the marvellous results, the fact came home to them with great force that there must be some fascination, some power, some secret in prayer, of which _they were ignorant._ this man was a master in the fine art of prayer. _they_ really did not know how to pray, they thought. how their request must have delighted him! at last they were being aroused concerning _the_ great secret of power. may it be that this simple recital of his habits of prayer may move every one of us to get alone with him and make the same earnest request. for the first step in _learning_ to pray is to pray,--"lord, teach me to pray." and who _can_ teach like him? _the tenth mention_ is found in john, chapter eleven, and is the second of the four instances of ejaculatory prayer. a large company is gathered outside the village of bethany, around a tomb in which four days before the body of a young man had been laid away. there is mary, still weeping, and martha, always keenly alive to the proprieties, trying to be more composed, and their personal friends, and the villagers, and the company of acquaintances and others from jerusalem. at his word, after some hesitation, the stone at the mouth of the tomb is rolled aside. and jesus lifted up his eyes and said, "father, i thank thee that thou heardest me; and i knew that thou hearest me always; but because of the multitude that standeth around i said it that they may believe that thou didst send me!" clearly before coming to the tomb he had been praying in secret about the raising of lazarus, and what followed was in answer to his prayer. how plain it becomes that all the marvellous power displayed in his brief earthly career _came through prayer_. what inseparable intimacy between his life of activity at which the multitude then and ever since has marvelled, and his hidden closet-life of which only these passing glimpses are obtained. surely the greatest power entrusted to man is prayer-power. but how many of us are untrue to the trust, while this strangely omnipotent power put into our hands lies so largely unused. note also the certainty of his faith in the hearer of prayer: "i thank thee that thou heardest me." there was nothing that could be _seen_ to warrant such faith. there lay the dead body. but he trusted as _seeing_ him who is _invisible_. faith is blind, except upward. it is blind to impossibilities and deaf to doubt. it listens only to god and sees only his power and acts accordingly. faith is not believing that he _can_ but that he _will_. but such faith comes only of close continuous contact with god. its birthplace is in the secret closet; and time and the open word, and an awakened ear and a reverent quiet heart are necessary to its growth. _the eleventh mention_ is found in the twelfth chapter of john. two or three days before the fated friday some greek visitors to the jewish feast of passover sought an interview with him. the request seemed to bring to his mind a vision of the great outside world, after which his heart yearned, coming to him so hungry for what only he could give. and instantly athwart that vision like an ink-black shadow came the other vision, never absent now from his waking thoughts, _of the cross_ so awfully near. shrinking in horror from the second vision, yet knowing that only through its realization could be realized the first,--seemingly forgetful for the moment of the by-standers, as though soliloquizing, he speaks--"now is my soul troubled; and what shall i say? shall i say, father _save_ me from this hour? but for this cause came i unto this hour: _this_ is what i will say (and the intense conflict of soul merges into the complete victory of a wholly surrendered will) _father, glorify thy name_." quick as the prayer was uttered, came the audible voice out of heaven answering, "i have both glorified it and will glorify it again." how near heaven must be! how quickly the father hears! he must be bending over, intently listening, eager to catch even faintly whispered prayer. their ears, full of earth-sounds, unaccustomed to listening to a heavenly voice, could hear nothing intelligible. he had a _trained ear_. isaiah : revised (a passage plainly prophetic of him), suggests how it was that he could understand this voice so easily and quickly. "he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as they that are taught." a taught ear is as necessary to prayer as a taught tongue, and the daily morning appointment with god seems essential to both. <u>under the olive trees.</u> _the twelfth mention_ is made by luke, chapter twenty-two. it is thursday night of passion week, in the large upper room in jerusalem where he is celebrating the old passover feast, and initiating the new memorial feast. but even that hallowed hour is disturbed by the disciples' self-seeking disputes. with the great patience of great love he gives them the wonderful example of humility of which john thirteen tells, speaking gently of what it meant, and then turning to peter, and using his old name, he says, "simon, simon, behold satan asked to have you that he might sift you as wheat, but i made supplication for thee that thy faith fail not." _he had been praying for peter by name!_ that was one of his prayer-habits, praying for others. and he has not broken off that blessed habit yet. he is able to save to the uttermost them that draw near to god through him _seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them_. his occupation now seated at his father's right hand in glory is _praying for each of us_ who trust him. by name? why not? _the thirteenth mention_ is the familiar one in john, chapter seventeen, and cannot be studied within these narrow limits, but merely fitted into us order. the twelfth chapter contains his last words to the world. in the thirteenth and through to the close of this seventeenth he is alone with his disciples. if this prayer is read carefully in the revised version it will be seen that its standpoint is that of one who thinks of his work down in the world as already done (though the chief scene is yet to come) and the world left behind, and now he is about re-entering his father's presence to be re-instated in glory there. it is really, therefore, a sort of specimen of the praying for us in which he is _now_ engaged, and so is commonly called the intercessory or high-priestly prayer. for thirty years he lived a perfect life. for three and a half years he was a prophet speaking to men for god. for nineteen centuries he has been high priest speaking to god for men. when he returns it will be as king to reign over men for god. _the fourteenth mention_ brings us within the sadly sacred precincts of gethsemane garden, one of his favourite prayer-spots, where he frequently went while in jerusalem. the record is found in matthew twenty-six, mark fourteen, and luke twenty-one. let us approach with hearts hushed and heads bared and bowed, for this is indeed hallowed ground. it is a little later on that same thursday night, into which so much has already been pressed and so much more is yet to come. after the talk in the upper room, and the simple wondrous prayer, he leads the little band out of the city gate on the east across the swift, muddy kidron into the inclosed grove of olive trees beyond. there would be no sleep for him that night. within an hour or two the roman soldiers and the jewish mob, led by the traitor, will be there searching for him, and he meant to spend the intervening time in _prayer_. with the longing for sympathy so marked during these latter months, he takes peter and james and john and goes farther into the deeply-shadowed grove. but now some invisible power tears him away and plunges him alone still farther into the moonlit recesses of the garden; and there a strange, awful struggle of soul ensues. it seems like a renewal of the same conflict he experienced in john twelve when the greeks came, but immeasurably intenser. he who in himself knew no sin was now beginning to realize in his spirit what within a few hours he realized _actually_, that he was in very deed to be made sin for us. and the awful realization comes in upon him with such terrific intensity that it seems as though his physical frame cannot endure the strain of mental agony. the _actual_ experience of the next day produced such mental agony that his physical strength gave way. for he died not of his physical suffering, excruciating as that was, but literally of a broken heart, its walls burst asunder by the strain of soul. it is not possible for a sinning soul to appreciate with what nightmare dread and horror the sinless soul of jesus must have approached the coming contact with the sin of a world. with bated breath and reverent gaze one follows that lonely figure among the trees; now kneeling, now falling upon his face, lying prostrate, "he prayed that _if_ it were possible the hour might pass away from him." one snatch of that prayer reaches our ears: "abba, father, all things are possible unto thee--_if_ it be possible let this cup pass away from me; nevertheless not as i will, but as thou wilt." how long he remained so in prayer we do not know, but so great was the tension of spirit that a messenger from heaven appeared and strengthened him. even after that "being in an agony he prayed more earnestly (literally, more stretched out, more strainedly) and his sweat became as it were great clots of blood falling down upon the ground." when at length he arises from that season of conflict and prayer, the victory seems to be won, and something of the old-time calm reasserts itself. he goes to the sleeping disciples, and mindful of their coming temptation, admonishes them to pray; then returns to the lonely solitude again for more prayer, but the change in the form of prayer tells of the triumph of soul, "o my father, if this cup _cannot_ pass away except i drink it, thy will be done." the victory is complete. the crisis is past. he yields himself to that dreaded experience through which alone the father's loving plan for a dying world can be accomplished. again he returns to the poor, weak disciples, and back again for another bit of strengthening communion, and then the flickering glare of torches in the distance tells him that "the hour is come." with steady step and a marvellous peace lighting his face he goes out to meet his enemies. he overcame in this greatest crisis of his life _by prayer_. _the fifteenth mention_ is the final one. of the seven sentences which he spake upon the cross, three were prayers. luke tells us that while the soldiers were driving the nails through his hands and feet and lifting the cross into place, he, thinking even then not of self, but of others, said, "father, forgive them, they know not what they do." it was as the time of the daily evening sacrifice drew on, near the close of that strange darkness which overcast all nature, after a silence of three hours, that he loudly sobbed out the piercing, heart-rending cry, "my god, my god, why didst thou forsake me?" a little later the triumphant shout proclaimed his work done, and then the very last word was a prayer quietly breathed out, as he yielded up his life, "father, into thy hands i commend my spirit." and so his expiring breath was vocalized into prayer. <u>a composite picture.</u> it may be helpful to make the following summary of these allusions. . _his times of prayer_: his regular habit seems plainly to have been to devote the early morning hour to communion with his father, and to depend upon that for constant guidance and instruction. this is suggested especially by mark : ; and also by isaiah : - coupled with john : l.c., : , and : . in addition to this regular appointment, he sought other opportunities for secret prayer as special need arose; late at night after others had retired; three times he remained in prayer all the night; and at irregular intervals between times. note that it was usually a _quiet_ time when the noises of earth were hushed. he spent special time in prayer _before_ important events and also _afterwards_. (see mentions , , , , , and .) . _his places of prayer_: he who said, "enter into thine inner chamber and when thou hast shut the door, pray to thy father in secret," himself had no fixed inner chamber, during his public career, to make easier the habitual retirement for prayer. homeless for the three and a half years of ceaseless travelling, his place of prayer was a desert place, "the deserts," "the mountains," "a solitary place." he loved nature. the hilltop back of nazareth village, the slopes of olivet, the hillsides overlooking the galilean lake, were his favourite places. note that it was always a _quiet_ place, shut away from the discordant sounds of earth. . _his constant spirit of prayer_: he was never out of the spirit of prayer. he could be alone in a dense crowd. it has been said that there are sorts of solitude, namely, of time, as early morning, or late at night; solitude of place, as a hilltop, or forest, or a secluded room; and solitude of spirit, as when one surrounded by a crowd may watch them unmoved, or to be lost to all around in his own inner thought. jesus used all three sorts of solitude for talking with his father. (see mentions , , and .) . _he prayed in the great crises of his life_: five such are mentioned: before the awful battle royal with satan in the quarantanian wilderness at the outset; before choosing the twelve leaders of the new movement; at the time of the galilean uprising; before the final departure from galilee for judea and jerusalem; and in gethsemane, the greatest crisis of all. (see mentions , , , and .) . he prayed for others by name, and still does. (see mention .) . _he prayed with others_: a habit that might well be more widely copied. a few minutes spent in quiet prayer by friends or fellow-workers before parting wonderfully sweetens the spirit, and cements friendships, and makes difficulties less difficult, and hard problems easier of solution. (see mentions , and .) . _the greatest blessings of his life came during prayer_: six incidents are noted: while praying, the holy spirit came upon him; he was transfigured; three times a heavenly voice of approval came; and in his hour of sorest distress in the garden a heavenly messenger came to strengthen him. (see mentions , , and .) how much prayer meant to jesus! it was not only his _regular habit_, but his resort in _every emergency_, however slight or serious. when perplexed he _prayed_. when hard pressed by work he _prayed_. when hungry for fellowship he found it in _prayer_. he chose his associates and received his messages _upon his knees_. if tempted, he _prayed_. if criticised, he _prayed_. if fatigued in body or wearied in spirit, he had recourse to his one unfailing habit of _prayer. prayer_ brought him _unmeasured power_ at the beginning, and _kept_ the flow unbroken and undiminished. there was no emergency, no difficulty, no necessity, no temptation that would not yield to prayer, as he practiced it. shall not we, who have been tracing these steps in his prayer life, go back over them again and again until we breathe in his very spirit of prayer? and shall we not, too, ask him daily to teach us how to pray, and then plan to get alone with him regularly that he may have opportunity to teach us, and we the opportunity to practice his teaching? footnotes [ ] john : . [ ] "demon possession," by j. l. nevius. [ ] psalm : . [ ] psalm : . [ ] genesis : , . psalms : . see quotations of this, referring to the man who will restore original conditions, in cor. : . ephesians : , hebrews : . psalms : . [ ] john : ; : ; : . [ ] revelation : . [ ] john : . [ ] jeremiah : . [ ] psalm : . [ ] matthew : . [ ] isaiah : . [ ] isaiah : - . [ ] psalm : . [ ] james : , . [ ] matthew : , . [ ] matthew : - . [ ] matthew : - . [ ] acts : . [ ] acts : . [ ] john : . [ ] acts : - . [ ] cor. : . [ ] sidney lanier. [ ] ephesians : . [ ] luke : - . [ ] luke : - . [ ] peter : . [ ] matthew : - ; mark : - ; luke : - . [ ] matthew : . [ ] psalm : . [ ] isaiah : . [ ] jeremiah : . [ ] longfellow. [ ] samuel : , . [ ] joseph cook. [ ] john : . [ ] frances ridley havergal. [ ] romans : - . [ ] psalm : . [ ] john : , . [ ] timothy : - . [ ] isaiah : , revised. [ ] does not this very strong language suggest that possibly the disciples had been conferred with by the revolutionary leaders? [ ] cor. : . the value of a praying mother by isabel c. byrum gospel trumpet company first printing preface. this book has a purpose: it is sent forth as precious seed, with the prayer that it will fall into "good soil" in many hearts and bring forth an hundredfold. all parents with natural affection desire the best things for their children. such fathers and mothers have high hopes that from their home will go forth noble men and women--yes, even heroes. many fail to realize the attainment of this ideal in their children, because of a lack of the knowledge necessary to bring about the desired development in the child-life. the following pages were written with the fervent hope that they would, at least in some measure, be a help in developing the young lives entrusted to your care. if your harvest-time is past; if your children have grown up and have left the old home, you may be able to help some one who still has little ones to train. one object in relating actual experiences was that the reader might be guided in the application of those principles of child-training which, if merely stated in the abstract, might be hard to understand and difficult of application. the principles herein stated are not mere theories, but they have the commendation of having stood the test of use. two other objects of this simple story of home life are that the thoughtful mother may get a view of the effects of certain extreme environments on the child-life and, by observing the substantial results accomplished by a praying mother, she may discover the secret of success. the incidents of this little home story are all true, even to minute details, as far as memory serves one of the actors in this drama of home life after the lapse of many years; but as most of the principal characters are still living, the correct names have, for the most part, been withheld. should one of your children ask, "mama, who was bessie worthington?" you can truthfully answer, "she was a little girl who lived in michigan; and she and her papa and mama are still living." if, by reading this little book, any mother shall see wherein she can improve upon her past teaching, and thus be able to do more for the spiritual and moral well-being of her children, the writer will feel amply rewarded. may the blessing of god attend it as it goes forth. yours in him, isabel c. byrum. contents. chapter i. two scenes chapter ii. a praying mother chapter iii. early training chapter iv. god's care chapter v. consecration chapter vi. conscience chapter vii. a downward step chapter viii. a wise decision chapter ix. self-control chapter x. parental control chapter xi. christian experience chapter xii. the beautiful secret chapter xiii. blessing and trial chapter xiv. the surprise party chapter xv. leroy's healing chapter xvi. explaining the divine life chapter xvii. temptations chapter xviii. answers to prayer chapter xix. lost in the woods chapter xx. novel-reading chapter xxi. glad tidings chapter xxii. the meetings chapter xxiii. bessie sees her duty chapter xxiv. reverie chapter xxv. a plea to mothers chapter xxvi. parental duty chapter xxvii. useful hints the value of a praying mother chapter i. two scenes. how delightful to step into the home where god is counselor of both parent and child! how blessed the companionship in such a home! there god counsels in sweet, tender tones. he teaches his will and gives the needed wisdom. god is man's truest and best teacher. james says, "if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of god, that giveth to all men liberally ... and it shall be given him." be the home ever so beautiful, if it is not a house of prayer, it is not a place of true happiness. parents should often commune with the lord; especially the mother, with her many cares and perplexities, if she would do justice to the little ones entrusted to her care. a beautiful picture now comes to my mind--a picture of an ideal mother of olden time. she dwelt in ramah of palestine. her lonely home nestled among the lonely hills. she loved to commune with the lord, for deep in her bosom she carried a sorrow that only he could help her to bear. her home lacked that sweet sunlight which innocent childhood brings. she longed and prayed for a little life to guide and direct in the ways of the lord. once every year she went with her husband to shiloh, where sacrifices were offered, and there publicly worshiped the lord. when at the house of the lord one day, she prayed long and earnestly that god would grant the desire of her heart. "o lord of hosts," she prayed, "if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then i will give him unto the lord all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head." a scene like this must have been rare even to the priest of god; for he mistook this sad woman for one drunken with wine. she begged him not to look upon her as such. when the man of god saw by her modest, earnest words that she was not drunken as he had supposed, he changed his reproof into a blessing. "go in peace," he said, "and the god of israel grant thy petition that thou hast asked of him." with perfect confidence that god had heard and answered prayer, the woman arose and returned with her husband to their home in ramah. the next year she did not go up to shiloh; for god had granted her petition and had given her a little son. her husband was willing for her to remain at home, but he cautioned her not to forget her promise to the lord. he feared, perhaps, that the mother might become so attached to her child that she would be unwilling to part with him as she had promised. his warning was unnecessary. as soon as samuel (for this is what the mother named her son) was old enough to be useful, she took him to the house of god and presented him to the lord. it must have sounded to the aged priest (who soon would have to cease his work upon earth) like a voice from heaven, when the happy mother, pointing to her child, said: "for this child i prayed; and the lord hath given me my petition which i asked of him: therefore also i have lent him to the lord; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the lord." again the mother prays; this time not in sorrow, but from a heart filled with thanksgiving. she feels no regret because of her vow. her child became a great blessing to many people, and the lord gave her other sons and daughters to cheer her heart. by reading the story we find that "the child samuel grew and was in favor both with the lord and also with men." why was this? in answer to his devoted mother's prayer, the holy spirit hovered over that child, shielding him from the cruel darts and arrows of the enemy. he had been taught the ways of the lord from his cradle and his life was fully consecrated to god. a different scene comes before me now--a scene that brings a shudder. upon a ship sailing along the shores of france were a man and his wife on their way to join a band of villainous people in india. being on a secret mission, they traveled slowly and carefully. it was a tedious and dangerous journey. one stormy day, on the bay of biscay, a child was born to them. no loving welcome from the lips of a prayerful parent awaited this poor little innocent child; instead, curses were his portion, and, by the order of his mother, he was cast aside in a pile of rubbish to die. by chance the father passed that way and, finding his child's poor little perishing form, picked it up, took it to his wife, and commanded her to see that it was cared for. as the child grew and developed in this atmosphere of sin and degradation, is it strange that he partook of his parents' nature and developed even worse habits than they? unless the proper home influence is thrown around a child, he can not help suffering from the inherited sins of his parents. when this child became a man, he knew nothing of virtue and honesty. his life was enveloped in a shroud of darkest crimes. leaving india, he went to europe and from there sailed to america. each year found him better acquainted with court proceedings and prison walls. it was a common thing for him to break into a man's house and steal every valuable that he could find. i recently met this man and heard from his own lips the dark story of his life. as he was relating an account of a desperate burglary, i asked him what he would have done if the man of the house had awakened. "please do not ask me." he answered. "i was always armed, and a man's life was no more to me than a dog's. there are scenes that i can not, i dare not, recall, for i am a changed man now." thank god, he is a changed man. he had not been too vile for god to find. jesus had cleansed his heart from all desire to do evil. having confessed his crimes and given himself up to be punished, he had been sent to prison, but because of good behavior had been soon pardoned. he is now spending his life among the lower class, whom he understands so well and pities so much, trying to show them the way of salvation. note the atmosphere that surrounded the cradle of each of the babes of whom we have been speaking. in the first home we find prayer, love, hope, and tenderness; in the last, sin, hatred, crime, and villainy. oh that mothers everywhere would take warning! if only these two pictures could be framed and hung in the recesses of every mother's heart where they might teach their silent lesson! if only mothers might see how powerful for good or evil is their influence; how the affections and the mental powers may be moulded by prayer and maternal love, and how the groundwork for the future of the child may be laid in its early training! a sensible mother has a charm and wields an influence that takes a fast hold on the hearts of those who are dear to her. the kindly sympathy of youth, the deep affection of manhood, can be traced to influences that began at mother's knee. what true, prayerful mother does not feel as her child closely nestles to her bosom that she is invested with a divine, mysterious power, an influence which she can not understand? then it is that she sees her imperfections and longs for wisdom to know how to guide her child. god alone can supply that understanding. she is her child's book of wisdom, love, and, beauty, but she should be of god's writing. chapter ii. a praying mother. still another mother comes before my mind--an earnest, zealous, pious mother, who fashioned her life and example continually by god's word and endeavored daily to teach her children the deep truths of salvation in language so simple that they could understand, to seek out the causes of their failures and discouragements, and to give them timely advice and instruction. as i trace a few of her experiences, which are all true incidents, i trust they may sink into some perplexed mother's heart and enable her to wield the instruments of love and prayer about her darlings and to be more able to guide their tender hearts in the right course. mrs. worthington lived in the great city of chicago, in a small cottage on portland avenue near thirty-first street. nothing about the dwelling was elaborate; everything was simple, but very neat. pretty vines trailed gracefully over the porch and windows, and a few flower beds filled up the dull nooks and corners. in front of the house was a grassy lawn enclosed by a picket fence. here the children could play apart from the rough waifs that thronged the street. within the cottage the same quiet taste was in evidence. every day in her cozy sitting-room mrs. worthington talked with her little girls, bessie and louise. in times of trouble and perplexity she bowed with them in prayer. how much the children enjoyed their mother's comradeship and counsel! the mother realized the importance of these early impressions made on the child's mind. she had promised god to do all in her power to train her children for heaven. she had commenced early, even from the time she had first looked into the depths of their innocent eyes. she had taught them that when any trouble arose between them, they were to kneel in prayer and ask god to help the one who had done wrong. once she heard bessie say, "louise, i have prayed for you three times, and i believe i shall have to pray for you again." louise was not a bad child; she had as sweet and happy a disposition as bessie; but, as with all small children, little difficulties arose between them. wishing to know what her two little girls would do on such an occasion, she watched them. bessie quietly took her little sister's hand, lead her aside, and knelt with her in prayer. then with all earnestness she prayed, "o lord, help louise to to be good, for jesus' sake. amen." the prayer, though short, was effectual; for both went back to their play with happy faces, and they had no more trouble that day. chapter iii. early training. as the daily teaching continued, mrs. worthington taught her children many helpful lessons. she told them of the great necessity of a savior and of his mission to humanity. she taught them how god looked upon disobedience, and always illustrated her talks with interesting bible stories and their every-day experiences. in this way she taught them not only the evil effects of wrong-doing but also the sure reward of right-doing. one summer, while the family was spending their vacation in michigan at the pretty country home of an aunt, something happened that helped the children to apprehend their mother's meaning. this incident, although in some measure painful to mrs. worthington, impressed the lesson upon their young minds almost better than anything else could have. the house was situated upon a hill that sloped gradually down to the shore of a lake. in many ways this lake was very attractive, especially to the two little girls, who were then at the ages of two and four years. mrs. worthington carefully warned the children of the danger of playing near the lake shore; but, not realizing the greatness of their temptation, she trusted them too far. time after time they made their way down to the water's edge. something must be done; but what? one morning mr. worthington noticed his little daughters standing in front of the house. although he could not hear their words, he clearly perceived that they were talking about a trip to the forbidden lake. they hesitated some time, but at last walked slowly down the hillside to the lake. again they hesitated. finally descending the steps of the boat-house, they stepped into the sparkling water. how dainty the ripples about their feet, and how clear the water! "surely there can be no harm or danger," thought bessie; but she remembered the oft-repeated warnings of her parents and aunt. the shells lost their beauty when she remembered hearing her father say that bears sometimes travel up and down the shores. what if a bear should some that morning? she gave a quick, searching glance among the trees, but, seeing nothing, she tried to forget about bears. she might have been able to forget about them, but she could not forget that she was disobedient. her conscience would not let her; the more she tried to forget, the louder it talked. she was just about to take her little sister back to the house, when she heard a rustling among the branches of a tall tree directly above the path over which she must pass. the next moment she thought she heard a low growl. "o louise," she cried, "i do believe that is the bear papa told us about." the tree then began to sway from side to side and they heard another growl, louder than the first. seizing her little sister's hand, bessie hastened to help her out of the water. by this time both were thoroughly frightened; for while visiting one of the parks in chicago once, they had seen a bear hug his keeper until he could not stand. bessie remembered the incident and tried to help louise to hurry; but when the tree shook again, this time just above her, she screamed wildly and ran a few steps alone. when she got past the danger-point her reason returned, and, looking back, she saw her sister's great danger, as she stood just beneath the fatal tree. rushing back, she almost carried louise (while the growling continued), and they were soon up the hill. in the house they told of their strange experience, the substance of the story being, "the bear; the bear!" mr. worthington soon joined the excited circle and secretly explained to his wife that he had been the supposed bear and that he had taken this course to teach the children a lesson. his plan was successful, for after that the children did not care to go to the lake alone. mrs. worthington, however, was very sad because her children had been deceived. unlike her husband, who was not a christian, she believed in keeping the confidence of her children and in praying with them when they were disobedient. she decided to be more prompt and watchful in the future and to shield them from temptation as much as possible. she improved the opportunity for some wholesome instruction. from the stories of jonah and king saul she brought forth some excellent lessons on disobedience. she told the children that, although they might think when tempted to disobey that nobody saw them, yet there was one whose eye was ever beholding their deeds, whether good or bad. then she knelt in prayer with her children, praying with a full heart to that god who is everywhere present and from whom all our strength must come, that he would teach her how to guide the precious souls entrusted to her care. chapter iv. god's care. considering this mother's deep piety, do you think it strange that she saw god's hand in everything that befell her, and ascribed praise to him for it all? after the return of the family to their home in chicago the father became very ill. his sickness was so severe and so long continued that poverty began to threaten them. mr. worthington could not take the resigned view of their circumstances that his wife took, but often gave way to complaining. but mrs. worthington thanked god that things were no worse and ever encouraged her husband with the promises that god would provide. at last christmas morning came and found them in extreme poverty. mr. worthington still weak from his illness, but able to go around a little, came in from his morning walk very gloomy and feeling that his friends were very few. "this is the saddest christmas i have ever known," he said to mrs. worthington. "it is almost more than i can bear to know that i have nothing to give the children today, and barely enough in the house to eat. i did not realize it so keenly until i saw an old man trudging along thirty-first street with a large pack upon his back. that man was surely going to surprise some of his friends. how much we need a friend like that!" "never mind," said mrs. worthington softly; "god has promised to be a friend in time of need, and i believe he will care for us today." as she finished speaking, a rap was heard at the door. mr. worthington arose slowly, wondering who could be their early caller. when he opened the door, he was greatly surprised to see the aged man with the pack and to find him to be his own father. mr. worthington had entered the house too soon to see his father turn the corner and enter the yard. as the large burden was laid upon the floor and unpacked, there seemed to be no end to the good things. a turkey, cake, pies, in fact, all that was needful for a generous christmas dinner, as well as a gift for each one. it was a very thankful family that gathered around the table that day. chapter v. consecration. in regard to her children, mrs. worthington had passed through a deep consecration. she fully realized that they were only lent her by the lord, entrusted to her care to be trained for usefulness in his service, and she was determined to do all in her power to prepare them as the lord intended. in all sincerity, she had placed her children upon the altar of consecration, promising god never to let her will interfere with his designs concerning them. i do not think a child of god ever makes a consecration that is not tested in some form or other. this mother's consecration was tested. a wealthy aunt, having lost all her children and being very lonely, thought to fill the vacancy in her heart and home by adopting a little child. after several vain attempts to find a suitable child, she sought the home of her niece, mrs. worthington. she came with many misgivings. when she made her errand known, her niece said: "auntie, my children are no longer mine; i have given them to the lord, and whatever is his will concerning them shall be mine. you will have to obtain my husband's consent." thus far aunt a. was delighted with her success, and she eagerly sought the father. she tried to point out to mrs. worthington, who was heartbroken at the prospect of losing her child, how abundantly able she (the aunt) was to provide for the child and spoke of the extreme poverty of the worthington home. the mother knew all this, but she knew too that god's spirit does not always rule in wealthy homes. would she do right to let her child slip from under her parental care? many thoughts of this nature surged through her brain, and many temptations to say no came to her; but instead of giving a decisive answer she sought counsel from the all-wise counselor. while in prayer she thought of faithful abraham's trial regarding isaac, and she felt that god was just as able to carry her through temptation or test, if she submitted all to his will. mr. worthington gave his consent for one of the children to go for a visit. the aunt having chosen bessie, hasty preparations were made for their departure. as the mother kissed her curly-haired little girl good-by, her heart seemed bursting with sorrow. she tried to control her feelings, but only god knew the wound that her aunt's parting words made. "use your influence in my behalf, niece, with your husband, in case we want to keep bessie," she had said, and then the great train moved slowly from the station. abraham was all the mother could think of on her return home. oh! would god give her back her child? letter after letter came, each telling how fond the aunt and her husband were of bessie and how happy she was in her new home, but not a word about her return. four, five, six weeks passed. then one day a letter came stating that they had decided not to adopt a child now and that, as bessie was getting homesick, the parents might expect her home the next day. then, it had been only a test! oh, how glad mrs. worthington was that she had been faithful. yes, her god was the very same god that abraham had served centuries before. it was hard to wait until train-time the next day. when once more the loving mother held her darling child in her arms, the tears that could not flow for weeks streamed freely. bessie was glad to be at home again. after the cold, formal, loveless life at her aunt's, she appreciated her own humble home more than ever before. but a far greater test was waiting the dear mother--one that would call for more than human strength to bear. after bessie's return mrs. worthington put forth every effort to teach her children more about heavenly things. she bore in mind the scripture, "train up a child in the way it should go; and when it is old, it will not depart from it." as she did not want to fail along this line, she spent every spare moment with her children. and she seldom let them go from home to visit unaccompanied by her; but one day, being very busy, she let them go alone to their grandmother's. the distance was not great, and bessie, now nearly six years old, knew the way perfectly. all would have been well had their grandmother been at home. she being away, the girls stopped to watch some children at play. these children were breaking old bottles that they had picked up in the alley. as the little girls stood watching the sport, a large brown bottle was brought forth and with a heavy stroke of the hammer was broken. small pieces of the glass flew in every direction. one piece struck louise on the palm of the hand just below the thumb, knocking off the skin, but not producing a wound deep enough to bleed. her grandmother, who appeared on the scene just at this time, examined the wound. she though it would soon be all right, but bound it up with a cloth to satisfy the child. the children played as usual and then returned home in time for supper. when they came in, their mother, who had been very busy through the day at housecleaning, was preparing a hasty supper, and she gave them no special attention. the family were soon seated around the supper-table. they had not been there long until mrs. worthington noticed that louise was not eating. she asked the child why she did not eat, but received no reply. on being asked if her throat was sore, louise nodded her head. still the mother did not think the child's condition serious; and, after pinning a flannel around the child's neck, she did the evening work and prepared to attend a prayer-meeting. she had noticed the rag upon louise's hand, but bessie had laughed about the little cut and said, "grandma tied it up just to please louise." although the meeting that night was unusually good, mrs. worthington could not forget the expression on her child's face as they had kissed each other good-by. it seemed to be before her all the time; so she really felt relieved when the meeting closed and she could return. upon entering her home she immediately asked her husband, "how is louise?" he answered that she had been very naughty and cross and that he had been obliged to punish her. this news increased the mother's fears. feeling of the child's head, she found it hot and feverish. as louise continued to grow worse, at two o'clock in the morning mrs. worthington thought it best to examine the child's throat; but when the mother asked the little girl to open her mouth, she said, "mama, i can't." "what!" exclaimed the mother, "you can not open your mouth! why, child, what is the matter with you?" although louise tried repeatedly to open her mouth, she could force her teeth apart only about an eighth of an inch, and only with great difficulty could she speak. by this time mr. worthington had fully awakened to the fact that something serious was troubling his child, and he sprang to her side. as soon as possible they summoned a doctor. he found that the cut on her hand had caused lockjaw, but said that there was no cause for alarm. the parents, however, felt very anxious and called in several doctors for consultation. they found that it was too late to do anything for the child. "the course of this disease," said the doctors, "is usually very rapid; and we are sorry that we can offer no hope." when mrs. worthington heard the doctors' verdict, anguish such as she had never experienced before filled her soul. her thoughts went back to the previous night. oh! why had she not examined the child closely then? in her distress she cried to the lord, saying, "dear lord, what can this mean? must i go through another test with one of my children? if so, help me to say amen to thy will!" everything possible was done for the comfort of the little sufferer. the little life was swiftly nearing its close. even when the doctors injected medicine into her arm to relieve her pain, she did not murmur. forgetful for a moment of her suffering, she looked into her mother's eyes and said, "mama, i love you"; then turning to her father, "papa, i love you"; and then to the doctors and friends, "i like all these folks." what a beautiful testimony? she had only kindly feelings in her heart for all, even for the doctors, who seemed to be her enemies. her words were as a message sent from god as they fell into that mother's heart. they seemed as sweet incense and a soothing balm to her troubled spirit. gazing into the child's face, the mother read of the tender, compassionate love of god for suffering humanity; she read of the depth of christ's love for the innocent and pure; and, by the heavenly smile that lighted the little face as her darling sank into unconsciousness, she saw that the child realized her savior's presence. slowly the tide is going out; the soul of the child is passing from the mother's presence into life immortal. "o my darling, speak to me once more!" the large blue eyes slowly unclose; a look of disappointment comes into them as she says, "where has jesus gone?" the dear eyes softly close; she sinks again into unconsciousness; the beautiful expression of happiness returns; the mother knows that her darling is in the arms of jesus and is content. mrs. worthington did not sorrow as those who have no hope; for she knew that her heavenly father knew best, and she could look up with confidence and say, "the lord gave, and the lord hath taken away: blessed be the name of the lord." with the father it was different. up to this time he had never had any serious thoughts of a future life. he knew that his wife was a good woman, but he considered her religious views rather strange. she had seen so much error among the popular religious denominations and had felt such bondage when meeting with them, that she worshiped with a few spiritual people in a little prayer-meeting. because of this peculiarity, he had even feared that her mind was affected; but now, when he saw her fortitude under deep trial, he felt that surely there was an unseen power supporting her--a power that he secretly longed to possess, although the time for attaining it he set indefinitely in the future. as louise had been his idol, his grief was deep. it stirred his whole being. her last testimony had convinced him that there is a savior, that he is interested in mankind, and that he is able to keep in every affliction. standing by the cold, lifeless form of his little daughter, he promised god that he would meet her in heaven. after these things mrs. worthington realized more keenly than ever the value of confidence between children and parents. with renewed energy she sought daily to strengthen that cord which now seemed to her almost divine. her daily talks now contained a richer and deeper meaning to bessie, whose understanding of heavenly things was growing clearer since her sister's death. through her mother's teaching she gained a knowledge of god and spiritual life that would have taken her many, many years to comprehend had she been left to herself. mrs. worthington was surprised and pleased to note bessie's confidence in her mother's teaching. one day, in answer to the assertion of a little neighbor girl that louise was not alive, but dead and buried, bessie said, "i know sister's body is dead and buried, but her soul is living with jesus. he was waiting for her when she died and took her soul away with him." "i am glad, my child," said her mother, sometime after this conversation, "that you love to come to me with things that trouble you; for as you're going to school now, you can not help hearing and seeing many things that i would rather keep from you until you're older. you'll see and hear many things that you should allow no place in your life; but if you'll always come to me, i'll instruct you so that they'll not be harmful to you. when i was a child, how i longed for some one in whom i could confide! my mother was a good woman, but she didn't realize how i often longed to unburden my heart to her. father understood this desire, and we often had confidential talks. "i shall never forget my gratitude when he took me upon his knee one day and told me about many dangers young girls must meet and explained how i might avoid them. his words were just in time; for i had often been allowed to spend the evening at the home of a little friend, who, like myself, was not taught how to meet danger. at first our play had been innocent sports, but a short time before my father's talk a cousin had come to board with the family and attend school. he at once encouraged us to play a game of cards with him. as i knew nothing of the evil of card-playing, i was eager to learn; for he gave me much praise and allowed me to win very often, always rewarding me with a pile of candy. the appearance of so much candy in my possession had led to my father's talk. as father unfolded the nature of card-playing and gambling, a horror for them that has never left me came into my heart. after this i often sought my father's counsel; his faithful admonitions and tender words of encouragement caused me to have more and more confidence in him." mrs. worthington sighed deeply as she continued, "the memory of my dear father is sacred, bessie. many times i've thanked the lord that my father knew the worth of prayer and the value of the confidence of his children. he helped me to tide over the most critical period of my life, and i love to recall the encouragement of his devoted life." chapter vi. conscience. one day when bessie was about eight years old, she said: "mama, you've often told me that if i'd listen to the voice of conscience it would keep me out of danger. what is conscience? i don't understand." "my dear child," answered her mother, "your happiness depends upon a pure conscience, one that is void of offense. by the lord's help, i will gladly explain. conscience is that which causes us to feel bad when we do what we've been taught to be wrong. at first it is very tender and active. then, no matter how enticing the temptation, the conscience will warn one not to yield. you've heard your conscience speaking to you, haven't you, bessie?" "yes, mama," answered bessie; "that was why i wanted to know more about it. i thought at first it was some person speaking; but when i remembered you had told me that we each have a conscience to tell us to do right, i knew it must be the voice of conscience." "when it speaks, you must listen," said mrs. worthington. "give heed to its warnings. this little story will show you how careful we should be to heed the warning voice of conscience. "'wishing to arise at an early hour each morning, a gentleman purchased an alarm-clock. he took it home, and, having set it, went to bed and slept soundly. in the morning, to the gentleman's great delight, the clock aroused him, so that he was able to get to work in time. "'for a time he would spring out of bed as soon as the alarm sounded, and the clock never failed to wake him. one morning, however, on hearing the clock sound its usual alarm, he awoke, but, feeling a little sleepy, he lay back on his pillow, thinking that he would get up in a short time. in a few minutes he fell asleep, and did not awake again until very late. he dressed hastily, and, missing his breakfast, hurried away to his work. he resolved not to be so foolish again, and for a time did better; but in a few days he had again overslept. he became more and more neglectful, failing time after time to heed the alarm. at length it only partially aroused him, and he soon slumbered again. day by day it disturbed him less, until at last it did not arouse him at all, although it sounded as loudly as ever.' "so will it be with your conscience. if you don't heed its voice, you'll hear it speaking less loudly each day until its voice will at last cause you no discomfort. you'll then be in a very dangerous moral condition. no one but god can help you out. this is one reason why, bessie, many people can do things that you can not. "satan aimed his first blow at the conscience; for if he can silence it, then he can lead the soul deeper and deeper into sin." chapter vii. a downward step. "i have good news for you, bessie," said mrs. worthington as bessie came skipping into the room from her play. "your papa and i have decided to leave our little home here in chicago and buy a home in michigan." "oh, how nice!" exclaimed bessie, who was still in her eighth year. "shall we live with aunt emma again?" "yes, or rather she will live with us," said her mother, smiling. "your auntie's health is very poor, and she is tired of the responsibility of farming; so we'll relieve her." the following weeks were happy ones for bessie. the lord had been good to her in many ways. he had given her a little baby brother to love and care for, and now she was about to have a pleasant home in the country. she had not forgotten the good times she had enjoyed on the farm with her little sister, and she was very eager for the month of august to come, the time when the family was to move. at last the time came to start. with beating heart bessie counted the hours that must pass before she could run in the orchard and eat the luscious fruit. it was late in the afternoon when the worthington family arrived at their new home. the greetings over, bessie was contemplating a ramble where she had noticed some large red apples hanging; but just then her aunt said, "bessie, you must not pick any of the fruit on the place this summer, as the farm is rented and the fruit does not belong to us." this was such a disappointment to the little girl that she could not restrain her tears. as the days passed by, she often looked longingly toward the tree where hung the beautiful apples, but she never once thought of pulling one, for her mother had carefully taught her the great evil of stealing. "but oh!" thought bessie, "if only one of the apples would fall upon the ground, i could pick it up, and i wouldn't be stealing it." with this wish in her heart, she daily watched the trees in hopes that just one would fall. at last her hope was realized. walking through the orchard one day after a hard wind-storm, she spied several large red apples lying in the soft sand. with a fast-beating heart, she hastened to pick them all up; and, placing them carefully in her apron, she hurried to the house, oft repeating to herself, "i didn't steal them, for the wind blew them off." as she entered the house, she began to tell how she came by the apples, but stopped in dismay, for she saw her mother's look of disapproval. very tenderly mrs. worthington took her little daughter aside and, sitting down by her, said: "my dear, you don't understand what you've done: those apples are as truly stolen as if you had picked them from the tree. you must take them to mrs. s. and explain that you didn't know you were stealing them. taking little things and trying to ease the conscience by saying, 'it doesn't amount to anything,' causes the conscience to fall asleep and to cease its activity. thus the evil habit of taking what doesn't belong to us becomes a part of our nature, and step by step we fall into greater sin. "i once heard of a young man who was about to be hanged upon the gallows. just before the fatal moment he received permission to speak to any of his friends, if he desired. calling for his aunt, who had reared him, he moved forward as if to speak to her, but instead he bit off her ear. amid the exclamations of horror that followed, the young man said: 'you think what i have done is cruel. let me tell you that, had my aunt done her duty by me, i should not be here today. had she taken the pains to inquire where i obtained the lead pencils, knives, handkerchiefs, and other small articles which i brought home from time to time; had she not accepted the flimsy excuse that i had found them; had she warned me of my danger, and not praised me for "finding" the things i had stolen,--i might have escaped this awful end.' "so, bessie, you can see the danger of allowing anything like this--though it does appear a trifle--to pass by unnoticed. you may go and return the apples to mrs. s., who is now in the orchard." the lesson was severe and lasting; and as bessie returned the apples to their rightful owner, it settled deep into her heart. parents, beware. through neglect, the habit of lying begins. an untruth is passed over carelessly and the child allowed to cover up its sins without realizing their sinfulness. likewise, many other evil habits that have wrecked lives and brought sorrow and disgrace into homes may be traced to the same carelessness on the part of parents and friends. chapter viii. a wise decision. the lake in front of the worthington home, though nearly five miles in length, had too small a harbor to permit the entrance of the large chicago boats. it was therefore necessary, each evening in summer, for small steamboats to gather up the fruit from the farms along the lake and to carry it to the nearest port for large steamers. it was interesting to see the piles of berry crates loaded upon the steamer from the docks extending out into the lake. at such times a crowd of young people frequently arranged to go for a pleasant ride on lake michigan, and a few times bessie had gone. there was to be such an excursion on the occasion of which i wish to speak, and the young people expected to attend a circus in a city close to the haven to which they were going. bessie wished very much to go. she soon obtained her father's consent, but went to her mother with many misgivings, for she knew that her mother never went to a circus and that she had always spoken against her going at other times. mrs. worthington was very busy, but she always had time to advise her daughter and to hear her requests. she listened carefully to every word her daughter had to say, and then remained silent for a few minutes. at length she said: "bessie, there are many things to consider about your going. you know how i love to have you go for a ride on the water when i know you are in good company. i also love to have you attend places of interest to you, when i know there's nothing to defile your mind or lead you from the path of purity. but, daughter, there are many things in the world that look beautiful to the eye but tend to lead the soul astray. do you think jesus would go to a circus? do you think you could get any good should you go? you have passed your tenth birthday. i think you're old enough to take this matter to god in prayer and let him decide it for you. go and ask him to direct you to some passage of scripture that will open your understanding and help you to know what he wants you to do." "oh, mama," said bessie, who had felt strange about the matter, "please tell me yes or no, and i'll say no more about it." "no, bessie; it will, in many ways, be better for you to do as i've said," answered her mother tenderly but decisively. very reluctantly bessie left the room, and, taking her bible, whispered a prayer that she might open it to something that would help her to decide. as she opened the book, her eyes fell upon these words: "vanity of vanities, saith the preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity." hurriedly she turned the pages, thinking that she might perhaps have opened to that passage anyway. next she read, "i said in mine heart, go to now, i will prove thee with mirth; therefore, enjoy pleasure: and behold this also is vanity." returning to her mother, she read the words, but ended by saying, "i might have turned to that anyway." "bessie," said mrs. worthington, "those words were written by the wisest man the world has ever known, one who had the privilege of enjoying every known pleasure under the sun. but when he had tried them all, he sat down and wrote the words you have just read, and also said, 'all is vanity and vexation of spirit.' now you have my view of the subject, and you have solomon's; but if you are still in doubt, go and pray." bessie was not satisfied. she slipped away the second time and fell upon her knees. she cried, "o lord, you once answered gideon with a sign; now please give me a sign and help me to know whether i should stay at home or not. if you don't want me to go, make it rain." though simple and short, the prayer came from the heart. she was determined to know god's will concerning her; and to such god never turns a deaf ear. the next morning she went to the door and looked at the sky. the day was perfect. the sun was shining brightly, and a cool, gentle breeze was blowing. just one tiny cloud was in the sky, and that seemed to be floating toward the sun. as she watched the cloud, she saw it gradually increase in size, and at last down came the rain in great drops. nothing further was needed to convince bessie that god wanted her to remain at home; and now her staying was no longer a cross to her. she ran to her father and explained that god did not want her to go, telling him about her prayer and its answer. her childish words and simple faith touched her father's proud heart, but all he said was, "it's all right, bessie; but you'll go down to the landing and say good-by to your friends, won't you?" as she told the girls why she could not go with them and watched the gay party leave the shore, she was not sad, but happy. she kept thinking how kind the dear lord had been to answer her prayer so wonderfully. when bedtime came, she rested sweetly, having no wounded conscience to trouble or accuse her. but how about the excursion party? they had an ideal trip on lake michigan, attended the show, and started to return. the breeze that had been so gently blowing through the day began to increase at sunset, and by the late hour of their return it had become a gale. but not realizing the fierceness of the storm, they started home. when they reached their own harbor, they found that they could not enter with safety; so they anchored the boat and spent the remainder of the night on the wildly tossing waves. in the morning the wind gradually died away, and the weary, seasick crowd made their way home. when bessie learned of their serious experience, she appreciated more than ever the lord's goodness in leading her to stay at home. chapter ix. self-control. mrs. worthington was greatly encouraged when she saw what a blessing her little girl had received from what appeared to be a sore trial. she felt that the time was opportune to plant the seed of self-control within the young heart. in a little while she found an opportunity to begin. "bessie," she began when ready for the talk, "i have some important things to tell you today. i wish to speak of your future. there comes a time in the life of every girl when she must change from childhood to womanhood; she can not always remain a child. until this time arrives, she is very dependent and must lean entirely upon her parents' advice; but as her mind begins to mature, she should be taught the necessity of weighing matters well and of finding out god's will. "until the present time all you have done has been at the suggestion of your parents, but it will be different in the future. with your teaching, you are able to look to god for a part of your direction. i shall continue to advise, and, if necessary, to punish you; but i want you to take things to the lord in prayer and become satisfied within your heart that my advice is according to the word of god. you must not think you haven't needed the teaching and the guidance you've had thus far in life; and you'll need more careful training than you've ever had. the point i want to impress upon your mind is that there's an element within you, called self, that you must learn to control. at times self will arise and cause you to feel that you know some things even better than mama. that is the time to remember that mama has had more experience than you; that her judgment is better than yours; and that you must rely upon it until god helps you to see a matter as she sees it. that was the way you gained the blessing from that experience a few days ago. in this way you will learn the lessons that are so important to your future. "there are many other things, my dear, that i want to talk to you about soon, but you must be patient a little longer. in the meantime, however, you may ask me any question you please, and i'll answer you. don't go to other girls with these things, but come to me. i'm always glad to explain to you anything that seems strange. when you're old enough to desire the knowledge and to form the questions, you're old enough to receive an answer to your questions. come to me often: what seems strange to both of us we can take to god in prayer, and let him teach us. "another thing you must do is to turn away from bad associates. avoid girls who say, 'i'll tell you something if you'll promise not to tell your mother.' remember that anything you could not tell me would not be worth hearing; for it's sure to be something unclean or vulgar. conversing with such girls won't help you to draw close to the lord nor to know his will concerning you. much less would it help you to meditate upon the pure and holy things of god. to elevate your soul, bessie, you must become serious, and seek only those companions whose conversation is kind, gentle, and modest. i believe your desire is to become more like jesus and to prepare for heaven. so, my child, meditate upon god, and you will grow in the grace and knowledge of christ. misspent moments are so much of life and character thrown away; be careful to use them all in god's service. "here's a little poem you may learn. it may help you to control self and to value your moments as you should." my moments. _oh, my precious little moments, gliding now so swiftly by; may i each one spend for jesus ere i see them past me fly. may i lade each one with something to be borne to god above, fill each full of deeds worth counting, that will prove my perfect love. for i would not have them enter through those portals bright and fair bearing not a single token for my master waiting there. golden moments, as you carry trophies on your upward flight, take my character to jesus; for i've kept it clean and white._ chapter x. parental control. mrs. worthington was not only a prayerful mother, but a mother wise in home government. her wisdom, however, came from god. many a time she felt incapable of giving the advice her young daughter needed; but she always remembered the scripture which reads, "if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of god, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given." after she had spent a season in prayerful meditation, god would supply the words and understanding. thus she could say with the apostle paul, that her strength was made perfect in weakness, because her dependence was in christ. o mothers, let us learn that god, the author of home and families, is always interested in the quality and the training of the children. he does not create to cast aside. neither does anything come by chance. he wills that each tender human plant be nourished and cherished until well fitted to fill its place and calling in life. in childhood's dependent days, the parents should be all to the children that they can not be to themselves. it is not enough that your child be well fed and clothed; its young mind must be guided into proper channels. what work is more noble, more elevating than the teaching of the undeveloped mind? let not the duties of life nor the claims of society so press upon you as to cause you to neglect your child's character or its education in either temporal or spiritual matters. as solomon says, "take away the little foxes that destroy the vines." it is the little things passed carelessly by that grow larger and larger, and stronger and stronger, within the young heart until at last the unsuspecting parents awake in alarm to behold their child in dreadful bondage. beware! guard your child every moment it is under your care. you can not go as companion to your child upon the street or to school, but your influence may attend his every path through life. do not be discouraged should you hear him use a slang word, but take him at once and tenderly tell him what slang phrases will lead to. do not speak harshly, but explain in the most loving manner possible. in this way you will cultivate in him a distaste for impure language. a pure, refined nature will be the result. moreover, as that child realizes through your faithful instruction, the true meaning of sin, he will make you his confidant and will come to you rather than seek the counsel of younger companions. thus you will be able to control his mind and to instil within his mind pure and upright desires. within your home is the place to shine for god. there is no greater field of labor. a christian mother's influence among the young can not be too highly valued. no one can fill your place in the hearts of your children. another can provide their temporal needs, but nobody can take the place of mother. no one else can enter into the daily trials as you can. nothing else can soothe the wounded feelings as well as a tender embrace or a word from mother. be liberal, dear mothers, with these tokens of sympathy, so sweet to your child; and think not for one moment that you are not fulfilling god's plan concerning you or that moments thus spent are wasted. it is only a short time at best that we can be blessed with the privilege of instructing our children. chapter xi. christian experience. as bessie grew older, mrs. worthington chose the twilight hour for confidential talks with her daughter. both looked forward to these times with pleasure. each evening after the daily duties were ended, bessie might be found sitting at her mother's feet. here she related the many happenings of the day and in turn received instruction and advice from the one who held her confidence. here the mother taught her child the secret of true devotion. she instructed bessie that prayer, good reading, and meditation are the keys to use to unlock god's great storehouse of blessings. she pointed to the bible as a pattern by which to fashion one's life, pointing out to her the many scriptures bearing upon different subjects and telling her how every modest, earnest christian ought to dress and act in order to adorn the gospel of christ. she encircled the word "purity" with such a halo of glory that she awakened within the heart of her child a determination ever to live so pure a life that she would not only keep herself stainless but also help others to that sacred and elevated plane. upon one of these occasions, when bessie was in her twelfth year, she said: "mama, why don't we go to the meetings that are being held at the schoolhouse on sunday? the girls have asked me several times, and i have told them i didn't know. they have a minister from a distance, and he has taken the names of all who want to join the church." "that is a deep subject, my child," said mrs. worthington. "i have often wished to explain to you my reasons for not attending the public services held in our neighborhood by the different denominations, but have feared you were still too young to understand, for the matter seems hard even for some older persons to comprehend. but i will tell you and trust the lord to make it plain. "my parents taught me that it was my duty to attend religious services at least once a week. this i did, and professed to be a christian until i was a young woman. i knew that i loved the lord and wanted to do right, but found that i could not always do right in my own strength. i was daily doing things that displeased the lord. i became so troubled about my condition that one day i went to the minister, and, telling him how i felt, requested him to pray for me and to help me to get a real bible experience. in answer to my request, he only smiled and said, 'you are too particular. you might as well try to split a hair as to try to live a holy life in this world.' "as i returned home that day, i was very sad indeed. oh, how much i longed to be like jesus, whom god had given me as an example! i knew the bible taught that if we expect to enter heaven we must live a pure and holy life. i was determined to do this--but how was i to do it? to whom could i go for help? most of the church-members were so worldly-minded they thought of little else than a good time, and the few spiritual ones were afraid to tell how they felt, for fear of their minister's displeasure. "at last i decided to seek from god and his word what my soul was longing for. as i sought, i began to see i had been deceived. i found that as god looked upon mankind, he could see only two classes of people--the righteous and sinners; and i saw that i was a sinner. "by reading the twelfth chapter of first corinthians, i learned that christ's body is the church; that to become a member of the church my name must be written in heaven; that every christian in the world is my brother or sister in christ; the lamb's book of life is the only class-book in which our names need to be recorded; and that our names are removed only because of our turning again to sin. to me these thoughts were both new and marvelous. i saw that every saved person in the different denominations is a christian and a member of god's true church, but i knew that such persons were unable to worship god aright for fear of displeasing their ministers or of breaking some of the church-rules. and when i read in cor. : that we are not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers, i felt that i must come out and stand alone. this i promised god to do at any cost, and asked him to give me a bible experience. he answered my prayer; and i was so happy that i walked the floor for a long time, clapping my hands and praising god. "because of the course i had taken many misunderstood me and thought i was partially insane. even your dear papa thinks so still, but i dare not grieve god by going back. "i have had some dreams that have greatly encouraged me. the first was given while i was wondering why i could not find any one who believed the whole bible. i seemed to be standing in a meeting-house; the service was ended and nearly every one had gone home. i noticed a woman in great distress. going to her, i found that she had a very sore hand and that she was alone, with no one to help her home through the darkness. with her consent, i quickly picked her up in my arms and carried her safely through a long, dark, narrow passage. as we passed along, i spoke words of encouragement to her. suddenly we came out into a large open field carpeted with flowers, and there i laid her down, saying, 'how nicely we have gotten along alone.' then i awoke. "for some time i could not see the meaning of the dream. at last i understood that the afflicted woman was i myself and that the savior wanted to carry me through the dark and dangerous way of life alone. "at another time i dreamed i was riding on a locomotive. again i was alone. the seat that i was sitting on was so small i had to be very careful lest i be injured by the machinery around me. i didn't think of danger while the train was in motion; but as it drew up at a certain station, i began to consider my position. the thought came, 'what will people think of me? they will certainly say i am stealing a ride.' i remembered my ticket, and, placing my hand upon it, i felt satisfied. at the next station i could see inside of the passenger coaches. i had a good view of the passengers in one of the coaches, and i recognized the prominent members of the denomination i had lately left. as they sat in their cushioned seats, carelessly talking to one another, they all seemed happy and contented. my own condition then arose before me, and i felt lonely indeed and thought, 'i will step down from my little seat and enter the coach with the rest.' i was just about to do this--even had my hand upon the door knob--when i realized that i had left my dress in the little seat, and again i awoke. "the dream seemed very plain in every way. my ticket was my experience and title to heaven, and the dress left up in the tiny seat was the robe of christ's righteousness. while alone and contented, i was all right, but to return to the denomination would mean to leave both robe and title behind. "still, god has given me some devoted christian friends, who are willing to live as the bible directs, and with these i worship as you know, dear, in our little weekly prayer-meetings. i trust that some day your father will see and will understand me better, and that we can worship god together. but i will be faithful even though i should be forced to walk alone. "now, dear, i trust you can see that the true church is christ's body and that every soul is a member as long as he continues to live a pure and holy life. whether he is a member of some sect or not, sin will cut him off; and if he continues to profess as i did, he is a hypocrite in god's sight. 'come out from among them and be ye separate' is a command that every christian should obey." chapter xii. the beautiful secret. the mother's talks about her own christian experience enabled bessie to understand the beautiful secret of salvation--an influence that was to beautify her character and to mold her whole subsequent career. bessie's developing mind was able to grasp firmly the golden thread of religious truth, which, unraveling from the tangle of sectism, had guided her faithful mother into the fulness of divine truth. thus it was-- _in the gentle hush of evening, when the sun sank in the west; when the little bird was nestling in its quiet, sheltered nest; when the stars were brightly shining from the lofty sky above, bessie learned the lovely secret of her savior's perfect love._ _in the twilight's deep'ning shadows, at her loving mother's feet, sat she often on a hassock, hearing words of counsel sweet. sacred season was this hour to the twain in waiting there, each the burden of the other sought to know and ofttimes share. as the loving mother listened to the record of the day, to the questions of her daughter-- spoken oft in childish way, she in tenderness instructed with the wisdom of the lord, gained by prayer and careful study of his precious, holy word. there the character was strengthened; bessie's heart was made to feel greater love for her creator, for his work a deeper zeal. and she saw god's plan for pardon, to the feet of jesus came, and was able, like her mother, full salvation then to claim._ _ah! fond mother, learn the secret that will win thy children dear; draw them gently to thy bosom, ever seek their hearts to cheer. from thy home exclude all worry, fretful cares, and sad'ning gloom; but god's sunshine bid a welcome, let it shine in ev'ry room_. _as a spring within a desert, thou mayst water each plant small; but the plant itself must blossom-- thou canst tend it, that is all. tiny human plants will flourish in an atmosphere like this, and will yield good, fruitful blossoms that will bring true happiness_. _children always thirst for knowledge, and ere long 'tis surely gained; if not from a faithful mother, 'tis from evil source obtained. blameless never is the mother who will not the trouble take to instruct her precious children, close companions of them make_. _like a florist wise and zealous, guard thou well each blossom fair, lest the perfume and the sweetness vanish for the lack of care. choose thou then some place at even when the daily toils are done, where life's many cares and blessings may be numbered one by one. god will give thee wisdom, mother, to supply thine ev'ry need, as thou givest wholesome knowledge, when the childish voices plead. their young minds, so pure, unfolding, will reveal the secret fair that will prove how great the value of a mother's love and pray'r._ chapter xiii. blessing and trial. now that bessie had learned the secret of a christian life, she longed to see others enjoying the love of god. she felt the greatest burden for her father. oh, if she could see him enjoying salvation! she often poured out her desire in prayer, with childlike trust and confidence. god heard her prayers. one morning as she was passing the barn on her way to school, she heard some strange sounds. peering through a window, she beheld a sight that made her wonder if she saw aright. there stood her beloved father, great tears streaming from his eyes, his countenance beaming with heavenly peace and joy, and praises to god pouring from his lips. what did it mean? in a weak voice she said, "papa dear, what is the matter!" turning he exclaimed: "oh, bessie, god has saved me! i am so happy! run quick and tell your mother!" bessie ran to the house to tell the glad news, but her father was there nearly as soon, saying, "oh, i'm saved! you're right, wife. i know now that you're right, and i see things just as you do! i'm so happy and feel so different. oh, help me to praise the dear lord." let us leave them in their happiness and follow bessie to school. her father's words rang as sweet music in her ears. how good the dear lord was to answer her in her father's behalf! she felt that no good thing would be withheld from them that walk uprightly. but bessie was soon to meet a severe and unexpected trial. her mother had made her a school-dress. though neat and pretty, it was of a material commonly used for men's shirts. bessie knew this, but thought nothing of it until some of her schoolmates gathered round her at recess and said, "o girls, bessie has a new dress like her father's shirt." another said, "perhaps it is his shirt." the remarks were certainly unkind, and bessie felt them keenly; but she laughed and said, "yes; i know it." nothing more was said. but oh, that dress! how she disliked to wear it! at times she could hardly start to school with it on; but then she would think, "i know mama thought it was pretty when she got it for me; and i thought it was nice until the girls made those remarks. i will try to like it for mama's sake." with such thoughts in her mind she returned home from school one evening. when she reached the house, she saw that no one was at home; but, knowing where the key was kept, she easily gained admittance. finding herself alone in the house, she thought: "now is the time to learn to like my dress, and i'm going to do it. mother shall not know how i have felt about it." she hastened into the parlor and stood before a large mirror. now, bessie knew that she did not have a pretty face, and she had gained the victory over that; but she did want to feel that her clothes looked well on her, and that was the battle she meant to fight that evening. as she slowly turned from side to side viewing herself intently, she liked the dress better and better. at last she thought it very pretty and becoming, and she knelt down and thanked god for giving it to her. as she changed it for her work-dress, she wondered why she had allowed the children's remarks to affect her so much and had not appreciated the dress more. no more remarks were ever made about the dress, and bessie continued to admire it until it was worn out. no one but herself and the lord knew of the struggle through which she passed. through the trial concerning the dress, bessie learned several valuable lessons: first, the less notice one takes of unkindness, the better; second, god's grace can keep in time of temptation; third, one should not murmur because of persecution; and, last, and best of all, god usually gives his children some great blessing before a severe trial, and the close relationship between the two makes them almost one in effect. she could now say with real appreciation: _a little trial often tries, but proves a blessing in disguise. just as the rough rock holds the gem, the trial holds my diadem_. but a still greater trial was awaiting her. bessie had a thirst for knowledge. she was doing well in school and wanted to do better. instead of taking exercise during the daily intermissions, she often spent them in hard study. her system, naturally frail, could not stand the strain. she contracted a fever and for three months despaired of life. in the third month dropsy of the chest set in; and, on account of smothering spells, she had to be bolstered up in bed with pillows. one day as mrs. worthington stood beside her child she felt that god wanted to heal her. kneeling beside the bed, she prayed, "dear lord, heal my child, and grant that she may be spared to work for thee." from that time bessie began to improve. she had no more smothering spells, and before long she was well and strong. bessie found a blessing even in this trial. she saw that, had she been able to push ahead as she had desired, she might have lost sight of jesus, and she now understood that her savior cared for her body as well as for her soul. chapter xiv. the surprise party. as soon as bessie was strong enough to go out, she was invited to stay all night with a friend. she supposed she was to be the only guest, but found that a surprise had been planned for her. a goodly number of her friends and schoolmates were present. the young folks spent a few hours very pleasantly in playing games, and bessie enjoyed that part of the evening very much. but late in the evening some one proposed dancing, and the boys began to choose their partners. a very strange feeling came over bessie when some one asked her to dance. she shook her head and said, "no; i do not know how to dance." several urged her to try, but she said, "no; i would rather not." she was the only one that did not dance. as she sat watching the others, she wondered if it were right for boys and girls to act as these were acting. she had never heard that it is wrong to dance, but it did not look or seem right to her. she decided that on reaching home she would ask her mother. when bessie got home the next morning, her mother asked, "well, dear, did you have a good time?" "oh, yes," answered bessie; "most of the time i did." then she told about the surprise party and about all that had happened, and concluded by asking, "mama, is it right to dance?" "i have been thinking for a long time, bessie, that i ought to have a talk with you about dancing and tell you of some of the evils to which it leads," answered her mother. "dancing is an amusement that many girls consider very attractive. when asked why they think so, they hardly know what to answer, but generally speak of the music and the graceful motions." "oh, mama, the motions they made at the party last night were anything but graceful. i know you wouldn't have allowed me to do as they did, and i don't want to. it wasn't modest. i never want to go to a dance again." "i'm so glad, bessie, you feel as you do about dancing; but, dear, to those who learn, there is something very fascinating about it. some girls have said they would rather dance than eat; and, with a great many, i believe it is true. "men of low character and of evil inclinations regard the dance-hall as a favorable place to betray unsuspecting girls and frequent it for that very purpose. their victims are usually the sweetest and most trusting girls. their beauty attracts undesirable attention, and their ignorance makes them an easy prey. o bessie, there are so many unprincipled men in the world who love to win and betray the confidence of young innocent girls. "philosophers tell us that 'perfect happiness comes only from a pleasure attractive to our moral nature in its purity and perfection. if we delight in pleasures of the other sort, our moral natures are degraded.' "you have noticed the immodest positions taken by those who dance, and you feel a deep sense of shame for them. should you try to partake of their pleasure, your moral nature would be degraded, and you would in time lose that sense of shame and be as eager for the pleasure as any of the others. thus yielding, one step at a time, you would cease to look upon the dance as immodest and would find real enjoyment in it, and perhaps would be led into greater sin. it is in this way that many girls lose their virtue. then they are shunned by their old associates, who are really but a step higher in morality. forsaken by friends, hopeless as to their future, deserted even by those who wrought their downfall, these poor girls sink lower and lower, and lead lives of shame and misery. "no spiritual-minded person will take part in worldly amusements, for he can not enjoy them. christians who indulge in dancing turn away from god and seek fellowship with the world. such are sure to lose the grace of god from their hearts." chapter xv. leroy's healing. bessie's little brother, leroy, now past five years of age, was far from being rugged. though he had a full, round face and a large head, his body was emaciated and did not develop properly. he could go only a few steps without falling. he had fainting spells, which gradually increased in frequency and duration. many times as mrs. worthington looked at her poor little boy, she lifted her heart to god in earnest prayer to know his will concerning the child. many friends remarked that she would never be able to bring him up; but she knew that, if for the best, god could heal the child and give him right development. at last his illness became very serious. one night his head was burning with fever, while his body was cold and clammy. it seemed but a question of time until he would pass away. as mrs. worthington looked at her child, she remembered the words, "man's extremity is god's opportunity," and "the prayer of faith shall save the sick." she wondered why god had brought them to her mind. she began to ask herself: "do i believe that god can heal that child? if it is god's will to take him, can i submit?" to the first question she answered, "yes; god made him," and to the second, "thy will be done, o god." then she breathed an earnest prayer for his healing. the sweet assurance came that her prayer was answered; that the child would grow well and strong. she felt that she could lie down by his side and trust him in the hands of the one who gave him. she placed a wet cloth on his head, lay down by his side, and knew no more until the next morning. both slept soundly. when she awoke, she saw that the child was breathing naturally and that the fever was entirely gone. then she fully realized that god had healed him. with a grateful heart she thanked the lord for his tender love. it was indeed true that leroy was well. about ten o'clock his mother carried him to the lake and, having bessie to row the boat, gave him a pleasant boat-ride. the fever never returned; his head stopped growing; and he became a strong, healthy boy. the friends who had thought that he would surely die said they could not understand the change that had taken place, but mrs. worthington understood, and gave god all the praise. chapter xvi. explaining the divine life. after bessie's conversion mrs. worthington's talks to her were often on the subject of the divine life within--how to care for it and nourish it, so that it might not die nor become blighted. she sometimes compared the young christian's experience to that of a new-born babe. "you know," said she, "the little one must be carefully fed, and tenderly guarded against everything harmful. even a slight breeze blowing upon its little body, if unprotected, might result in death. but as the child grows older and stronger, it gradually becomes accustomed to the rude elements about it and can, with comparative safety, be brought in contact with them. the christ life, new-born in the human heart, is just as sensitive and needs the same tender care. guard it carefully, bessie. it must be constantly nourished by prayer and the word of god. seek to become established by the grace of sanctification; then you will be better able to meet temptation and persecution. christ is your shepherd, and he wants to lead you, his lamb, into green pastures and beside still waters. "a person may profess to be a christian, bessie; but unless he has a change of heart and affections, he is what the bible terms a wolf in sheep's clothing, and not one of the gentle lambs of the savior's fold. the profession does not amount to anything when the heart is full of envy, hatred, jealousy, love of self, and a drawing toward the world. a person with a profession only, may appear for a time to be quite lamb-like; but sooner or later the old nature will manifest itself, for it can not be hidden long." "i think, mama," said bessie, "i understand you--but you spoke of the experience of sanctification; please tell me what that means." as briefly as possible, the mother explained that the second cleansing of the heart takes away that evil nature which causes man to want to disobey god. not long after this talk bessie had an experience in school that helped her to comprehend her mother's words. to be put back in her studies was hard, but to have to give up her old teacher, to whom she was strongly attached, was harder still. her regret on the latter account, however, was of short duration; for her new teacher was even more lovable than the old one, and, best of all, she was a christian. she and bessie not only got along well, but became warm friends and enjoyed sweet fellowship in the spirit. one day, however, something happened that severely tested their love, but, in the end, only deepened it. bessie's seatmate, a girl named nora, about bessie's own age, was very mischievous. she did so many things deserving punishment that the teacher was often perplexed to know what course to take with her. some one has said that "misery likes company." this was certainly true of nora. she knew that the teacher and bessie were good friends, and she longed to see bessie get into trouble and receive some punishment. knowing that bessie tried hard to obey the rules of the school, nora saw that she should have to lay some cunning plan or she should not realize her wish. she began to watch for an opportunity. a streamlet ran past the schoolhouse. while bessie and nora were playing near it one day, bessie fell down in some mud. just as she fell, the school-bell rang and they had to hurry back to their lessons. fearing that some of the mud might have splattered on her face, bessie asked if her face was clean. nora answered quickly, "oh yes; do hurry up." nora felt that her chance had come, and she made up her mind to get her seatmate into trouble, if possible. hurrying into the schoolroom, she whispered to one of the boys, telling him to ask bessie as she passed what was the matter with her face, but to say nothing more. when bessie came down the aisle, she saw this boy looking at her with an amused expression, and gave him close attention. as she passed him, he whispered, "bessie, what is the matter with your face?" and then turned quickly away. fully convinced that her face was dirty, bessie sat down very much ashamed. nora knew how her seatmate would feel and prepared herself for the question that she was sure would be asked. as it was time for the writing-lesson, she stuck her finger in inks of different colors; and, when bessie asked where her face was dirty, she quickly pointed out the places, each time leaving a large spot of ink. bessie, wholly unconscious of the ink-spots on her face, thought what a dreadful sight she must be, and asked permission of the teacher to wash. when the teacher turned, she saw, not mud, but ugly ink-spots. supposing that bessie had put them there, she shook her head. her surprise was great. she felt that she ought to do something about it; but, being undecided, she turned away. bessie became much worried; for many eyes were turned upon her, and some of the pupils were laughing. she wanted to hide, but could not, and kept wondering why a little mud should cause so much amusement. one girl, anna, tried secretly to pass her a wet handkerchief, but this nora quickly caught from her and hid. poor bessie was now ready to cry, and again asked permission to wash her face; but her teacher answered, "no; you must go to writing." bessie naturally had a high temper and was inclined to be stubborn when she felt that she was being imposed upon; but she had always held her temper in subjection, as she knew it to be wrong to give way to anger. on this occasion, however, it seemed impossible to control herself. when the teacher said, "go to writing," bessie obeyed; but she was so angry that she hardly knew what she was doing. suddenly she thought, "if i daub a lot of ink on my face, perhaps she will let me wash"; and she rubbed some on with her finger. but alas! this did not work as she had expected. the teacher saw her put it on and concluded that she had put the other on also; so she said, "bessie, you may go and sit in my chair." as she said this, all the stubbornness in bessie's nature arose. she did not move; and when the teacher said sternly, "are you going to obey?" she shook her head and caught hold of the seat. at this moment nora whispered, "if that were me, she'd make me go." the teacher heard the words and looked first at nora and then at bessie. she hesitated for a moment, then walked over to bessie, took her by the shoulders and jerked her from the seat, and then dragged her up to the chair and set her down, telling her to study. "i have no book," retorted bessie. the teacher ordered one brought, and, leaving her, went to her other duties. what a moment for bessie! too angry to study, she sat there thinking of the dreadful scene she had created. her heart burned with shame. oh! what could she do? anna, the girl who had tried to hand her the wet handkerchief, had noticed all of nora's actions and had determined to help bessie, if possible. on pretext of looking up a word in the dictionary, anna went forward, laid a wet rag where bessie could reach it, and returned to her seat. bessie eagerly took the rag and rubbed her face. she was surprised to see the different colors of ink appear upon it. how they came to be there she did not know; but she did not think about them long, for something far worse began to trouble her. she knew that she had lost the grace of god out of her heart. oh, how wretched she felt! would god forgive her again? yes; she knew he would; for she had read that, "the lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart, and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." this thought was a great comfort to her. but, oh! what about her teacher? how could her teacher ever love and respect her again? she would ask her pardon as soon as possible, but would she forgive her? it was not long until the teacher went to her desk for something, but she took no notice of bessie. beaching out very timidly, bessie touched her and said, "o miss harrington, won't you please forgive me?" but the teacher pretended not to hear her, and turned quickly away. the next thought was, "what will mama think and say? oh, if only she did not have to know about it!" with these thoughts coursing through her mind, bessie was unable to study; and by the time school closed, she was in great distress. after closing the school, the teacher paid no attention to bessie for some time; but when she had finished her evening duties and all the pupils except nora, anna, and bessie had left the building, she turned to bessie, fell upon her knees, and threw both arms around her. bessie sobbed, "oh, please forgive me! please forgive me!" for some time the teacher made no reply, and nora muttered, "catch me asking her forgiveness!" at last the teacher, looking up through tearful eyes, said, "bessie dear, it is you who must forgive me. i should have been a better example to you this afternoon. let us pray." then two sad hearts were lifted to god in humble, earnest prayer that he would forgive them for jesus' sake. god heard their prayers, gave back the sweet peace that they had lost out of their souls, and bound their hearts together in christian love and fellowship. nora went her way, provoked with her seatmate and angry because the joke had not worked quite as she had expected. anna, slipping her arm through bessie's walked home with her and told her all that nora had done. bessie was surprised. she understood why things had taken the course they had; but, knowing it was really satan, who had been trying to overthrow her own soul, she did not censure her seatmate. her only thought now was of how sad her mother would feel. bessie decided that the occurrence was too dreadful to tell her about and that she would keep it a secret. this was her decision until she saw her mother coming down the walk to meet her. having always told her mother everything, bessie did not know how it would seem to keep a secret from her; so when they met, she forgot all about her decision and began at once to tell her mother all that had happened. mrs. worthington listened very carefully to bessie's story and then said: "bessie, i am so glad you have told me all this yourself, and have held nothing back nor blamed nora. god will take care of the matter, and i believe that your lesson is a lasting one. and now, my child; you can see your great need of sanctification. had that ugliness and stubbornness been taken out of your heart, you would have been spared much suffering. i trust that you will earnestly seek and obtain this grace." it was well that bessie told her mother everything, for nora did all in her power to circulate the story and to make it as bad as possible. nora's mother, thinking it best to tell mrs. worthington about bessie's misbehavior, made a special call at the worthington home for that purpose. bessie's mother listened to what her neighbor's story was and then smilingly replied, "yes, i know all about it; bessie told me before she reached home. i am so glad that i have the confidence of my child. we are companions; i love her company, and she loves mine." these words sounded strange to the visitor. she could not understand. "it seems strange," said she, "that bessie loves to stay at home and to be with you so much. doesn't she ever get lonesome? nora is restless and tired when she has to stay at home, and says i am too old for her." ah! here was the secret of the difference between the two girls. one mother had allowed her daughter to choose her own company and had not inquired into their plays and talks; whereas the other knew the secrets of her child's heart and could advise and instruct her in any matter. between bessie and her mother there was a tie of which nora and her mother knew nothing. "train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it." prov. : . chapter xvii. temptations. at christmas time bessie received the following letter from one of her friends: dear bessie: i have long wondered what to send you as a christmas gift, and it seemed a hard problem to solve. i fear you will wonder at what i am sending; but, knowing that you are nearly thirteen years old and must be growing very fast, i have decided to send you a corset. i hope you will like and appreciate it enough to wear it. lovingly your friend, lizzie. on receiving the package, bessie looked at the corset and said, "mama, shall i wear it?" mrs. worthington looked anxiously at her daughter; for she knew that bessie would have strong temptations along this line, as she did not have a pretty form, and was growing rapidly. she had hoped, however, that the subject would not be mentioned for some time. silently she breathed a little prayer for wisdom to answer the question, and then said: "bessie, god used great wisdom in forming your body. he knew just what shape it would have to be in order to perform its natural functions. do you think it would be proper to try to change it? do you wonder why something snug around your waist could be harmful? listen, dear, and i will tell you. let us take the corset and examine it. it certainly looks very innocent and pretty, but just see how stiff it is. these steel ribs and this whalebone make it more like a piece of harness than anything else i can think of. when worn about the waist, it produces pressure upon the vital organs and thus deforms the body. these long strings at the back are often drawn so tightly as to cause the misplacement and derangement of those organs whose functions are most necessary to health and happiness. as a consequence, many a woman has to suffer long years of torture. "many women say they don't wear the corset tight, and think, therefore, that no harm results; but, let one of them put a snug-fitting bandage on any other part of the body, and she will see how quickly the muscles of that part will weaken and decrease in size. should a young woman who has never worn a corset attempt to wear one about her waist as loosely as they are ever worn, she would, if honest with herself, cast it aside as an abominable thing. "the reason why lizzie wants you to begin wearing a corset while you're young is that, if you'll bind your waist before you've reached your full growth, your waist will never attain the size it would have attained under natural conditions. in other words, you would be deformed." "i don't think i shall ever wear it, mama, if that's the effect it has upon the body. if god takes such particular care of us that he numbers our very hairs, he must be very much grieved to see any one put a corset about her waist." "i'm glad for your decision, my child, but you'll soon meet greater temptations. some mothers don't think it worth while to warn their girls of the dangers that threaten them in regard to love and marriage; but i want to see you, bessie, fully prepared, so that you may safely pass this dangerous period. "most girls at your age have some strange idea regarding love. in the schoolroom, perhaps, a girl notices some particular boy who has a winning way. at first she simply thinks he is nice; is glad to see him promoted, receive honor, etc. gradually her mind becomes filled with queries concerning his opinion of her. she dares not own that she loves to appear well in his eyes, but it is true nevertheless. during his absence she misses him, and upon his return her heart beats with emotion. if he pays her little attentions, she dwells upon them until she becomes eager for them. her playmates notice a change in her, for she can no longer hide her feelings. she blushes when mention is made of her preference for him. the couple seek to be together as much as possible, and are soon meeting together secretly. when reproved, they may promise not to let the thing happen again, only to repeat it in a short time. the secrecy of these meetings make them more enjoyable, and their length and frequency are unconsciously increased. "satan, who is never asleep upon such occasions, makes reproof his companion to push them forward. friendly warnings are unheeded; and if force be used to prevent the meetings, the couple may think of eloping. they may not have thought of marriage until this time; but when the girl realizes what she has done, she consents to the hasty marriage. such marriages, bessie, seldom result happily. "the place to stop was at the beginning. she should have gained control of her wandering affections. young girls who lavish their love upon boys of their own age or older lose relish for other things, and their minds become dwarfed and weakened by being taxed with thoughts that are not fit for them to consider at so early an age. "it is all right to form in your mind an ideal for your affections, if you don't have in mind some particular person; but your common sense should be your guide. two rowboats passing each other upon the water are all right as long as they are far enough apart; but let these boats drift or be guided too close together, and there is great danger of a collision. your affections are to you what the rudder is to the boat, and reason is your pilot. they will guide you aright if you will let them." "mama," said bessie, "there's a girl in our school, only a few months older than i, that says she is to be married in a short time. the man she's to marry is nearly twice as old as she is, too. we told her that she ought to wait until she wore long dresses before she talked about getting married. don't you think that is dreadful?" "yes, dear, it is. no girl should ever be married while she is so young." chapter xviii. answers to prayer. during the summer bessie's cousin john and a boy friend came to visit her. they spent many pleasant hours on the lake. one day while they were about two miles from home, a fierce storm arose. they noticed the sky growing dark and tried very hard to reach home; but, when still some distance from the shore, they could see that instead of making any headway they were drifting before the wind. it was a serious moment. as the great waves dashed up over them, each adding to the amount of water in the boat, bessie looked first at her cousin toiling away at the oars, the great drops of perspiration coursing down his face, then at their friend nearly wild with terror, and then at the western sky. "john," said she to her cousin, "i believe that's rain coming toward us." until then the boy, who was a little older than bessie, had been brave; but as he turned to look, his face blanched with terror, and he said, "bessie, if that is rain, it will certainly sink our boat; for, see, it is nearly half full of water now." the situation was certainly critical, but bessie felt that it was not the time to despair. she remembered that in olden times jesus had calmed the sea. believing that he could still do the same, she prayed for help from heaven. then, encouraging her cousin to do his best, she, assisted by their friend, began to bale out the water as rapidly as they could. in a few moments the great drops of rain were dashing down upon them. without speaking, all kept at their work for what seemed to them an hour, but which was really but a short time. suddenly it ceased raining; and, looking about them, they saw that the lake was perfectly quiet--not a ripple could be seen. with trembling voice bessie said, "john, god must have sent the rain to quiet the water, for i asked him to help us." it was a very wet but thankful crowd that reached home that night. in the spring that bessie was fourteen years old, her father sold the beautiful home where she had spent so many happy days, and bought a tract of land in a dense wood farther up the lake. on account of the dense forest, the place appeared very dismal. as the purchaser of their old home wanted possession as soon as possible, mr. worthington had time to build only a barn before removing his family. in this building they lived during the first summer. though these circumstances were discouraging, the worthingtons tried hard to be brave. by fall a house was ready for them. many good things were lacking in this new forest home; but god knew this, and he put it into the hearts of friends and neighbors to supply the family with fruit and vegetables and also chickens. so generously were these supplied that there was no lack. during the winter following much wood was cut, hauled, and piled out along the roadside in front of the house; but still there was standing timber nearly everywhere one might look, and to the south and west it extended for many miles. the next summer bessie learned how dangerous an enemy a large forest could become. there was so little rain during the hot months that things became dry and brittle. one day she heard the cry of "fire! fire!" looking away to the southwest, she beheld a sight that made her feel faint with fear. the woods were ablaze, and the fire was coming directly toward her home. her father came to her, explained their danger, told her to warn her mother and then to do all she could to put out any sparks that might fall around the woodpiles, house, or barn. this said, he hastened to join the men in their desperate battle with the fire. when bessie entered the house, she saw her mother weeping over her little baby, who had been born during the winter months and who had known nothing but sickness and suffering. when mrs. worthington heard the news, she continued to weep, and said, "well, dear, do all you can to put out the sparks; for i think your little brother is dying, and i can not leave him." by much hard work, the fire was held in check until evening. bessie made her rounds with a pail of water and a dipper until her eyes became so painful on account of the smoke and heat that she was forced to lie down on the ground until they quit hurting. as soon as possible, however, she returned to her task, informing her mother frequently of the progress of the fire. at last word came that nothing more could be done; that the house could not be saved. seeing that further effort was useless and that each moment increased the danger of their own lives, the men left off fighting the fire, in order to save themselves and to help, if possible, the worthington family. they soon reached the house. the next question was, where to go. the lake seemed to be the nearest place of safety. confusion was everywhere, but through it all mrs. worthington sat quietly holding her dying baby. "o mama," said bessie, "aren't you going with the rest?" "no," answered her mother positively; "i shall remain right here with my dying child. i can not move him now and add to his suffering. i know that god can take care of me here as well as anywhere else. why, bessie, where is your faith? god can yet send rain and put out the fire." "oh! but if god doesn't send rain, you will burn up; for the fire is almost here," cried bessie. "do come as far from the house as you can, won't you?" "no, bessie, i told you, no. i shall sit just where i am," answered mrs. worthington; and bessie knew that it would be useless to press the matter further. with throbbing heart bessie ran to her room, which was already getting hot from the fire: she fell upon her knees by the window where she could see the flames leaping from tree to tree, and began to call mightily upon god. "o god!" she prayed, "do send rain or change the wind." after repeating this prayer several times, she noticed some large drops of water upon the window pane. she knew what it meant: once before god had sent rain to help her in time of danger. hastening down stairs, she said, "mama, it's raining." "thank god!" said mrs. worthington, "i knew he wouldn't let baby and me burn up." by that time the rain was pouring down; the wind had ceased; and the danger was over. the rain did not put out the fire, but so checked it that, by hard work, it could be kept under control until it died out. little clement lived only a short time after the fire; but just before he died, he looked into his weeping mother's face and smiled three times. as he had never smiled before, mrs. worthington always thought that god took that way to encourage her heart. chapter xix. lost in the woods. as leroy was too young to drive the cows home in the evening, bessie enjoyed many a long walk in search of them. one evening she had some difficulty in finding them. it was one of those evenings when everything is quiet and sound travels a long distance. after listening carefully for the tinkling of the cow-bells, bessie was bewildered, for she could seemingly hear them in every direction. at last, thinking she had located the sound, she set out in that direction. when she had walked about two miles, she stopped to listen again. the bells were still tinkling, but they seemed to be just as far away. she knew, though, that the cows sometimes went a long distance. she had been following the road, but thinking the sound came from the woods, she started off in that direction. she saw that the sun was just going down behind the trees; that she was on an unfamiliar path, and was getting farther and farther from home. but she must get the cows, and on she went, stopping now and then to locate the sound of the bells. she suddenly found herself standing upon a point of land where a deep, wide ravine extended on either side. the distance across the ravine she could not see on account of the shadow and the trees. what should she do? a few minutes previously she had thought about its being late, but had hoped to find the cows and to make them guide her home. this hope failing, she did not know what to do. the bells were still tinkling ahead of her; but she did not dare to try to cross the ravine in the darkness, now fast gathering around her, and how could she return through those dense woods! she thought of calling for help, but as quickly realized how useless the effort would be, since there were no houses near. as she stood wondering what to do, these words from a psalm she had committed to memory a short time before, came to her mind: "if i say, surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to thee." two more precious promises came to her mind: "i will guide thee with mine eye" and "he leadeth me beside still waters." oh, what encouragement those words were to bessie! surely god would guide her home. with a thankful heart, bessie started to return. as she had passed through several clearings in her search for the cows, she had no little difficulty in finding her way; but the moon rose early and gave her considerable light, and as she neared home, she began to recognize some familiar objects. but, in the meantime, how were her parents feeling? the cows returned early and were milked. mrs. worthington wondered why bessie did not come with them, but thought she might have been delayed and would come soon. she prepared supper; but when she got it ready, bessie was still absent. "what can be keeping bessie tonight?" mrs. worthington said anxiously to her husband. "she should have come home an hour ago." "oh, i suppose she has stopped somewhere to play," said mr. worthington carelessly. "no; i don't think so," replied his wife. "bessie always tries to be prompt, and i'm afraid something has happened. if she doesn't come soon, you had better go to look for her." "well, wait until dark," said mr. worthington; "and, if she isn't here then, i'll get some men and we'll search in different directions. did you notice which way she went!" "no," answered his wife, "but i think she went east." at dark mr. worthington started out with the searching party. mrs. worthington tried not to worry; but when nine o'clock passed and half-past nine came, she felt a great anxiety creeping into her heart. many times she offered an earnest prayer for bessie's protection. after putting leroy to bed she stationed herself in front of the house to watch. about ten o'clock some one returned to say that he could find no trace of bessie. with straining eyes, mrs. worthington looked in the direction in which bessie had gone, and at last thought that she could see some one approaching. as the figure drew nearer, she could see that it was her child, and with a glad cry ran to meet her. "o bessie," cried the mother, "what has happened to detain you? your father and a company of men are out searching the woods for you. dear child, where have you been?" bessie was very tired and hungry; but she related all that had happened and said: "i'm sorry i couldn't go farther; for i believe the cows were just a short distance beyond the point where i turned back. but i did not dare to cross the swampy place and go into the woods on the other side." "why, the cows have been home a long, long time, bessie; and that is what had made your delay seem so strange," said her mother. "but were you not afraid, dear, when you found that you were so far from home!" bessie explained how she had felt and how the lord had encouraged her and helped her to be brave. "what time was that?" asked her mother; and when she learned, she said, "bessie, that was when i was so earnestly praying for you. surely our god is a mighty god and one who is ever faithful." when the searching party returned, they were all glad to know that bessie was safe at home. chapter xx. novel-reading. as bessie approached her sixteenth year, mrs. worthington became very anxious about her. the mother thought that she could notice a change in her daughter's actions and disposition. instead of being confiding and happy, she seemed listless, forgetful, and nervous. at first the mother could not understand this change; but by close observation she found that her daughter was indulging in light reading. some magazines and weekly papers containing continued love-stories had found their way into the worthington home. at first they were not attractive to bessie. she would merely glance through the pages; but she gradually came to overlook the good, substantial reading and to enjoy the part that stimulated the romantic and imaginative part of her nature. the effect upon her mental and moral powers was much the same as that produced upon the digestive organs by rich and stimulating foods. her mind was thus weakened and robbed of its relish for wholesome reading. she was ever looking forward for something to excite or satisfy her abnormal desire for the romantic or the dreadful. as soon as mrs. worthington realized her daughter's danger, she sought an opportunity to instruct her on the dangers of novel-reading. "some effects of novel-reading," said she, "are worse even than those produced by dancing. many novels are hurtful because of the many false ideas interwoven in the stories. some novels attract the pure-minded by their morality; but it is unsafe to read them, for the reason i have already given you, and because, as with any bad habit, the exciting influences must be constantly increased. in this way some persons are deceived and drawn into many of satan's snares. "in most novels there is much that is good and true; but the immoral, the worldly, and the untrue are so interwoven with it that the reader unconsciously finds himself taking pleasure in thoughts which, before he began reading novels, would have been disgusting. in this way the reader's sense of right is lowered and an appetite created--an appetite that can not be satisfied; the more it is fed, the more depraved and exacting it becomes. gradually the desire for the romantic increases until the novel-reader longs to have a romance of her own. her sense of duty is so blunted and her better judgment so blinded that she often agrees to a secret marriage with some one who is wholly unfit to be her life companion. it is in this way that many a girl has been deceived and led into sin. many times, too, habits have been formed, from which nothing but the grace of god could deliver. in looking back over a wasted life, many a person can see that his or her downfall had its origin in the first novel. "my dear child, there are many good books that you will find both helpful and interesting, but the bible should be the pattern of your life. let it be the principal food for your mind and soul. your time all belongs to god, and you should waste none of it in reading unwholesome literature." as mrs. worthington finished speaking, she was glad to see a changed look in bessie's face. she knew that god was talking to her daughter; and as she arose to go, she said: "bessie, do not forget from whom you may expect strength. i am praying that god will entirely take away the unnatural appetite which you have been fostering." it was not long until bessie rejoiced in full deliverance from her taste for novel-reading, and her interest in her mother's talks returned. as they read the bible together and praised god for the precious truths it contained, cherishing them within their hearts as priceless treasures, bessie's understanding seemed to open, and she was able to comprehend many of the deep truths of god's word. the reading of god's word gave her such unbounding joy, such complete spiritual happiness, that nothing could compare with it. its truths, so simple and yet so grand, were at once a guide and a reproof to keep her feet from straying from the narrow way. chapter xxi. glad tidings. in a small house about two miles from bessie's home lived a very old lady. she loved the lord and enjoyed telling of his goodness and of his dealings with her. bessie, who was now about sixteen years of age, enjoyed these talks very much. one day while bessie and her mother were visiting this aged saint, she brought forth a much-worn paper and handed it to mrs. worthington, saying, "my daughter sent me this paper. you may take it home, if you like," she continued; "but i must ask you to return it, as my daughter wants it again." as mrs. worthington took the paper, bessie saw at the top of the page, in large letters, "the gospel trumpet." after reading a few minutes mrs. worthington exclaimed: "this paper is certainly the work of a people who understand the plan of salvation. things are fully explained here that have been plain to me for years--things that i dared not mention publicly lest i be thought fanatical." on their return home mrs. worthington said: "it must have been in answer to prayer that sister moore let me see that paper. i have prayed for many years that god would help me to find a people who were not afraid to preach his whole word. i believe we have found them. who knows but this is god's way of starting a series of meetings here. oh, the wonderful god we serve! i shall subscribe for the paper at once and also send my poem on sectism to see if they will publish it." the subscription was sent, and the poem soon appeared in the paper. mrs. worthington was truly thankful to find that god had others in the world who were willing to teach the whole bible without construing any part to suit their own ideas. it was not long until a testimony appeared from a minister living a few miles away; and, agreeably with mrs. worthington's request, a series of meetings was started in the neighborhood. chapter xxii. the meetings. the news of the good meetings spread rapidly, and the attendance constantly increased. the gospel as preached was a new message to the people, and yet it was the very same that jesus and his disciples taught. every point of doctrine presented had a "thus saith the lord" to confirm it. many saw that the bible had been misunderstood and had been misconstrued by mankind to prove minor points, while the deep and vital truths had been so covered over with prejudice and unbelief that the majority of the people were blind to the true meaning of the word; and that, in their confusion, each had gone to the denomination that seemed most nearly to correspond to his clouded views. it was also clearly shown that there is no way to heaven except the straight and narrow way that jesus taught, and that god's word is the only true measure of a christian experience. mrs. worthington felt now that her cup of joy was full since she could hear the way of salvation and the true church explained from the pulpit just as god had revealed them to her. she was also glad that bessie, who was now old enough to understand deep spiritual truths for herself, was in perfect harmony and fellowship with her. about forty souls were saved in the meetings; some gained the experience of sanctification; and the spirit of the lord worked mightily upon the hearts of many others. oh, the deep and wonderful love of god! oh, the richness and fulness of his grace! how glorious bessie now found her walk with god! how precious to commune with him and feel that she was growing deeper into his love! truly it was a taste of heaven! chapter xxiii. bessie sees her duty. among those converted in the meetings was a girl a little younger than bessie. her name was cora. being an orphan and living in the home of an infidel uncle, where she had no one to understand or sympathize with her views, she often sought bessie for counsel and advice. the uncle did not oppose his niece, but others in his family did. as time went on, the two girls became anxious to be doing something for the lord. while they were pondering over the matter, a company of ministers came to the place to hold another series of meetings. from them the girls learned that _the gospel trumpet_ was published by consecrated labor, that the workers received no stated salary, but that they trusted the lord for their food and clothing. it seemed a strange story to the girls, but cora felt that she should like to go and help in the work. though her uncle was not pleased with her plan, yet finally, after he had investigated and had found the place respectable, he gave his consent. it was several months, however, before she expected to leave. toward the close of this time bessie began to feel some anxiety for her friend, and one day said to her, "cora, do you really want to go to _the gospel trumpet_ office to work? now, if you don't want to go, god will not be pleased with your service." "bessie, i have lost all desire to go," cora answered. "it seems to me that god is calling you instead of me. you could be a much greater help than i, because you have known and understood this truth all your life." if bessie had received a severe blow, it could not have hurt her more. her precious mother! how could she leave her! many of her cherished hopes for the future arose before me. her plan, to do all she could for her mother in her declining years, came up before her; and as she thought of it, she became very sad. when the two girls parted at the door, bessie's heart was very heavy; and when she was at last alone, she wept bitterly. she remembered that she had consecrated to do anything the lord might require of her, but she did not see how she could do this. for many days bessie bore this heavy burden; and, not being strong, she began to fail in health. from appearances, she had a malignant form of quick consumption. the course of the disease was rapid, and in a few weeks she was not only confined to her bed, but seemingly very near death. mr. worthington desired to consult a physician, but reluctantly heeded to bessie's earnest entreaties to let her trust the lord. she said to her father, "i know that god would heal me, if for the best; and, if not, i would rather die." and she added mentally, "i would rather die than to leave home." bessie at last became so low that she could not be left alone night or day. as her mother sat beside her one day, holding her hand, she said: "i believe, dear, that god wants to heal you and use you for himself. i feel like asking our elder, sister smith, to come and anoint you with oil according to jas. : , . i am sure god will heal you." sister smith was brought as soon as possible; but, to mrs. worthington's surprise, she did not offer to anoint bessie until the next day. she said: "i can not understand this case. there is something here that seems very strange. bessie appears to be perfectly resigned to die, but she only answers yes or no to my questions. i shall talk to her again." returning to the bedside, she said, "my dear, if god heals you, are you willing to leave your father, mother, and home to preach the gospel"--but she got no farther. bessie, with all the emphasis she could command in her weak state, interrupted, "no; i will never preach." "ah! there is the point in your consecration that you have not reached," replied sister smith. "you must be willing to do anything that will bring the most honor to god's name, and to work where he can get the most glory out of your service. it may be the lord will never require you to preach; but he wants the willingness on your part, just as much as if he wanted to make a minister of you." it was some time before bessie could answer; but when she did, it was to say that she would do anything, only that she must know that it was god who required it. "god will make you to know that," said sister smith; "and now i feel that everything is out of the way, and we can ask god to heal you." as she applied the oil and called earnestly upon god, there seemed to be a heavenly atmosphere filling the room. bessie felt a soothing sensation passing through her body; and when the prayer was ended, she felt perfectly well, though exceedingly weak. her strength soon returned, however, and it was not long until the lord told her plainly that he wanted her at _the gospel trumpet_ office. she remembered her consecration and felt willing in her heart to obey; but she shrank from telling her parents. for two weeks she endured severe mental suffering. she tried to gain sufficient courage to speak to her mother about the call, but her tongue refused to form the words. one day while she and her mother were in the cosy sitting-room, mrs. worthington said, "bessie, i believe that god wants you at _the gospel trumpet_ office and that he has used cora's plan and your sickness to show you your duty." looking up through eyes filled with tears, bessie related all that god had revealed to her. a great calm then came into her soul. but the test was not entirely over. mr. worthington must be told, and--would he be willing? embracing the first opportunity, bessie told him her plans and begged his approval upon them; but his reply nearly crushed her. "bessie," said her father, "if you must leave us, you may go; but i have one thing to say and i mean it. if you go, you can never return; for your going is heartless indeed. i can not see why you should choose to go from your comfortable home and those who love you so dearly, and leave your mother, who so much needs your help." "father, father!" exclaimed bessie, "oh, don't talk that way! you know how much i love you all. you know i never wanted to leave home before; and if you won't let me return, what shall i do?" as she stood there before her father almost broken-hearted, a sweet voice whispered, "i will be with thee; be not afraid." the words sounded like music in her soul and reminded her of her recent decision to obey the lord at any cost; and she said quietly: "well, father, if you refuse to let me return home, it will have to be that way; but i must obey the lord, and he has called me into his service" "very well," he answered, "but remember my words," and he left her. seeking her mother, bessie told her of the interview and of her father's refusal to allow her to return home. for a moment they stood looking at one another; and then, with great tears filling her eyes, her mother said: "remember the words of jesus, 'there is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of god's sake, who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting.' dear, child, i know your dutiful nature, and how you long to obey your parents; but the bible says to obey them in the lord. when you have to choose whom you will serve, god or your parents, you must choose the lord." "i will obey god," said bessie quietly; and she began at once to prepare to leave home. when all was ready and the morning of departure had come, mr. worthington went out to prepare to take his daughter to the train. he had been very silent all the morning, but bessie's heart was so full that she had taken little notice of his behavior. oh, how she longed for his consent for her to return! her mother gave her every encouraging word possible. at last they looked out and saw that the horse was ready. as bessie picked up her last bundle, the door opened, and her father, stepping in quickly, caught her in his arms. "o my child," he sobbed, "will you forgive me and come back as soon as the lord will let you? i didn't mean what i said; but it is so hard to give you up. if you need anything, write to me at once and let me know about it, won't you?" and he tenderly kissed her. bessie's heart was filled with joy, and she said that he could expect her home just as soon as the lord would let her come. "read cor. : and jas. : just as soon as you have time, dear," whispered mrs. worthington in her daughter's ear as she kissed her again before she jumped into the buggy beside her father. then they drove away from the home and the mother that were so dear to bessie's heart. very few words were spoken on the way to town, and after a long ride bessie found herself on the train. it all seemed like a terrible dream; but there was a sweet peace and quietness in her soul, and her father's loving words rang again and again in her ears. chapter xxiv. reverie. in the days that followed bessie's arrival at the _trumpet_ office, she found many ways in which she could help spread the gospel. she found, too, that she could preach in a way that was not at all distasteful to her; for she could set up many lines of type to be used in printing the gospel message in the _trumpet_, which was carrying light and truth into many homes and preaching to hungry souls. but oh, how often she thought of the dear ones at home and of how they were missing her! one evening, when she sought her room and sat down beside the window, as she had so often done at home, she began to review her life. as the soft shadows gathered slowly about her, she seemed to be at home again close beside her mother's knee, listening to her tender, loving words of sympathy and advice. bessie could now see what they had been worth to her. they not only had prepared her for a common sphere in life, but had given her a thorough understanding of god's great plan of salvation. as she recalled her mother's prayers and talks, she realized that, through them, she had many times escaped what other girls had ignorantly blundered into, and had been spared a great many of the bitter sorrows that come into the lives of girls not taught at their mother's knee. in her thankfulness, she offered a fervent prayer to her heavenly father that many more earnest, noble, and prayerful mothers might be found to guide their children through the critical period of childhood. after three months bessie returned home for a short visit with her parents. upon her arrival she not only found a loving and tender welcome, but also learned that both her parents had accepted her call as from god. after a happy visit of two weeks she returned to her work. with the blessing of god upon her labors, we shall here bid her good-by. in conclusion, we wish to say that what she became was principally in answer to her faithful mother's prayers. had she been left--as many girls are--without a mother's tender love and confidence, mingled with many earnest prayers, she would have fallen into temptations that she never knew. she had fully proved the worth of a praying mother. chapter xxv. a plea to mothers. home as god intended it is built upon the corner-stone of virtue and prayer. it makes no difference how beautiful the house nor how grand its contents, if the mother is a woman who does not care for god or virtue, the corner-stone of that home is lacking. such a home can not stand when trial and temptation enter. a stream never rises above its source, nor a home above the ideals of its founders. no matter how humble the home, do not belittle its possibilities. anything so sacred as home can command heaven's choicest and best blessings. the humblest cabin may contain that element which makes home the shrine of happiness and the temple of peace, and will cause it to send forth saints and heroes. oh that parents, especially mothers, could realize their influence in the home, their power to direct the young minds around them into the proper channel! let us so educate and train the children that they will be able to get the greatest good from their natural endowment and that they may use it in such a manner as will bring the most glory to god. so train them and so live before them in the home that in after-years they will say with pleasure: "this precept was always taught me by my parents. father and mother's holy example has been a priceless birthright to me." this is true parenthood. it should be the ideal in every home. by this i mean parents who realize their responsibility and have their children's best interest at heart; parents who will sacrifice any pleasure of their own for the benefit and happiness of their little ones; parents who will not only bid their children a hearty welcome into the world, but will care for their future from that moment, and who have the love and respect of their entire household. you may say that parents like these are few and hard to find. true, but it is equally so that, with proper knowledge and understanding, many would approach this standard. perhaps some have allowed years to slip carelessly by and their darlings to pass seemingly beyond their control. to such i would say, it is never too late to pray. observe the wayward boy whose chief inheritance is a wild, wilful nature. he is nearing his fourteenth birthday. having been allowed to have his own way while small, he has cultivated an ungovernable desire to do as he pleases. let the mother of that boy cease her old habit of saying, "i don't know what will become of that boy! i don't understand how he can treat me so rudely. i've done all i can, and he just grows worse," and take a more rational method. have you gone to that boy and told him the sweet, simple story of jesus and why he came from his beautiful home; that a part of his mission was to teach you how to make your home after the pattern of his heavenly home; that his heart is touched with compassion when he beholds any one in trouble; that he is grieved because you have made a mistake; but that you are sorry and are decided to do your duty? have you told the boy all that? have you knelt beside his bed at night with your tear-dimmed eyes pressed upon his hand, and told him the great dangers that are before him, even surrounding him, and informed him how to avoid them? have you told him that he is at the most critical time in his life, that a mistake now will mean a life of suffering for both him and you, and that he can with you begin over and remove some of his past mistakes? have you talked thus to your boy? if not, why not? it is your privilege as well as your duty. chapter xxvi. parental duty. the first duty of father and mother to their child is to see that they are a unit on family government. second, they must study themselves and their failures, trying to make the weak places strong. third, study the disposition of the child, gain an understanding of its inner life, and find out what pleases and displeases it; and, while cultivating the good, hold in check the bad. a mother should understand her children better than any one else. if she is a thoughtful mother, she knows not only the surroundings of her children, but many of the impressions that she has stamped upon their undeveloped minds. children are not putty that can be moulded into any form to suit our fancy, but there is a method by which we can fashion their young lives. much patience, devotion to the child, and fervent prayer will be needful to accomplish anything worth while. every parent should see that their attitude toward their children is what it should be. consider their feelings and show them respect, remembering that they have rights upon which you must not intrude; but never loosen the reigns of home government. make any rules that you think practicable and necessary; explain each rule carefully to your child, giving your reason for making it, and then demand obedience. never, unless for some special reason, ignore any good rule. should your child happen to break one of these rules, do not punish without first finding out the cause. he may not have understood your meaning, or he may have forgotten. take him quietly aside; and, after finding out why he has disobeyed, gently tell him again your reasons for making the rules and the necessity of his obedience. you might have to do this several times, but do not excuse him too long. when it is necessary to punish, ask for wisdom from above, and then punish in a way that he will understand you and remember the punishment. when you make a statement, stand by it, if possible, unless you see error in it. if such be the case, confess your fault. if your child does not show you due respect and obedience, there is a cause for it, and it is your duty to find out what that cause is. all children have to contend with bad qualities that have been inherited. do not flatter yourself that because the child is yours it will escape temptation; for all must be tempted, if they would be strong. teach your children, according to their ability to comprehend, all that they should know to be able to shun evil. do not think that because your child has inherited some moral weakness, you are helpless to teach him to overcome it. you can explain to him his danger and tell him what yielding to the temptations that come to him because of this weakness will lead to. point out the effect of this sin upon the one from whom it was inherited. tell the child that the only chance to overcome this inherited tendency will be by constantly avoiding those things that will lead to temptation. you may find the task difficult and you may sometimes feel disheartened, but you must put that wayward child of yours right, if possible, or god will hold you accountable. perhaps the inherited sin may lie at your own door. if it does, you will understand better how to help him from under its power. in the public school, on the street, and in his various associations, your child will be exposed to the evil of hearing impure language from vile lips; and if he be not warned, who can blame him for listening? your home teaching must overbalance all that he hears outside. should some question concerning the mysteries of his own body or of his own origin be aroused in his mind by impure stories or by any other cause, you must at once arise to meet the difficulty before harm is done that will be very difficult to overcome. but some mother will say: "i do not know what answer to make my child when he asks questions of such a delicate nature. would it not be best to leave his mind free from these ideas until he is older?" doubtless it would, if the child would be contented to wait; but when he has learned enough to ask the question, he is able to tell whether you speak the truth when you say you do not know, and he will not be satisfied by the flimsy pretest, "oh, run away and don't bother me; i'm too busy." above all else, keep the confidence of your child, so that he will come to you with every trouble of life. confidence of children in their parents is a gift from god. all children have it at first. see the tottering baby cling to its mother for support; watch it run to her when it is frightened. can it not have the same confidence when it is older? i answer from experience that it can and should. truth inspires trust in your child. if you do not think it best to answer all his questions fully at the time when he asks them, tell him at least enough to satisfy his curiosity, and promise him that, if this remains a secret between you and him, he may come to you whenever he wants more information. do not be afraid of having secrets with your child. the matter may be trifling, but the fact that he is helping you to keep secrets will teach him to value his word and will increase his confidence in you. on the other hand, if you tell him an untruth, do not think that he will come to you again. no, he will doubtless go to some friend who he thinks will tell him, and thus get his young mind tainted with impure thoughts. and little better in results than telling an untruth is putting the child off till some future time. these questions must be met when they arrive. you may say, "i don't know how much to tell at any one time." wisdom is necessary here. no more should be told than will satisfy the present curiosity of the child. a few questions on your part will readily discover what information he has gained and how much he wishes to know. a boy of scarce six summers once came to his mother with a question of life. the mother was shocked; but, offering an earnest prayer for wisdom, she questioned the child and found that he had heard remarks made by older boys. as his mind was developed enough to comprehend part of their conversation, his curiosity was aroused. having perfect confidence in his mother, he had sought her for an explanation of the points that perplexed him. as simply as possible, that mother gave the information, ending with the words, "now, darling, this is to be a perfect secret between us; and when you are old enough, i will tell you more." years passed by until the boy was in his eleventh year; then he once more went to his mother for information. "mama," he began, "do you remember the time you told me a secret?" she answered that she did, and he continued: "well, i have kept that secret. i have never mentioned it to any one. and do you remember that you said some time you would tell me more?" when she answered, "yes," he said quickly, "don't you think i'm old enough now?" in answer, the mother put her arms about him and said, "my son, you shall hear all you wish to hear. what is it, dear?" then as each question came, she gave him a satisfactory answer, and ended by saying, "whenever you want to know more, come to me, and i will tell you." that boy continued to go to his mother; and when he entered the most trying period of his life, her advice kept him from the dangers into which so many fall. in hours of trial she was able to point him to the savior. never neglect the duty of warning your child of danger. teaching of this kind will endear you to your children long after you are resting in the grave. they will recount, "my mother told me this. my father taught me that. they must have understood god's plan of salvation, or they would never have known how to tell me these things." but the task will require your highest talents. sympathy and love, constant watchfulness, and earnest prayer will be the most needful. since the child does not know himself, you must learn to know him. you must search for the secret springs that govern his actions and for the master key that will unlock his heart. one dear young woman, relating her experience to me, said: "my mother died when i was only six years old; but i know she must have been a christian, because some friends who knew her told me of her devoted life and of earnest pleadings for her children when she saw that she must leave them. all that i can remember about her was seeing her bowing in prayer or talking to us children. there are desires in my nature that i know must have been planted within me in answer to her prayer. after her death i was cast out upon the world. i went to live with a very ungodly family, but that sense of right and wrong within me made me shun and despise their evil ways. i loved to read my bible. from it i learned that, if i would gain heaven, i must forsake sin and live a pure life. to live such a life was a pleasure until i found that the denomination whose meetings i attended would not allow me to say much about a holy life, because their creed did not teach it. then i promised the lord that i would be a christian if i had to be one all by myself. this was not necessary, for i found many true christians who believed all that the bible teaches." that mother's prayers had fashioned and governed the life of her daughter long before the child was able to understand her mother's meaning. parents can not begin too early to win the child's love and confidence, and they should spare no pains to maintain these to mature years. those who do will find that their children will never, even to old age, fail to come to them for sympathy and advice. children so reared will always love and honor their father and mother as the bible says they should, and will look upon their parents' lives as examples for them to imitate. see to it that you show yourself a good pattern, in thought, word, and deed, for them to follow. chapter xxvii. useful hints. there is no definite rule whereby parents may control their home, except to seek advice from god, for no two families have the same environment. any method that will bring about the desired result may be applied; but the method must be systematic and thorough. a positive attitude is good, and should be encouraged, but harshness ought never to be used. the latter will tend to discouragement and resentment in the child, while the former will teach the difference between right and wrong. be charitable to your children in regard to their faults and failings, so that they may learn by your example to be charitable to each other and to their fellows. teach them the blessings that charity will bring to them; show them that it is the greatest of god's gifts and that without it they will meet many buffetings from their contact with the world. remember that paul speaks of it as "the more excellent way" and admonishes us to desire it above all things else. children must have entertainment. rich and costly furniture, elaborate parties, or even guests are not necessary. children may be entertained in a very simple manner. what child does not enjoy the old-fashioned game of hide-and-seek, tag, or some such innocent amusement with papa and mama? it may take a little of your time, but what of that? do all you can to make your home the happiest place on earth for your children. "yes," says one, "that will do while the children are little; but just wait until they grow up, and then they will seek other company." i did not say that they must always stay with you. of course they will desire to go from home sometimes. what i mean is that we can make home so attractive that they will note the difference between it and the outside world. the interest we take in them will constrain them to remain at home and to return when away from it. home! oh that beautiful word! poets have written about it, choirs have sung about it, but who can fathom the meaning of that little word, home! none but the child who has been taught to revere, cherish, and enjoy it, and then looking back remembers the happy years spent in the home circle. i think that i hear a father say, "when i return from my work, i am so tired i can not stand the children's noise." is that so? do you not love your children, and are you not working for their welfare! if so, do you not think that a little less labor with your hands and a little time spent with them would be more profitable? perhaps a little romp or chat with them would rest you. try it anyway. you who are desk workers can afford it: it will help you to cast off the responsibilities of the day and the better prepare you for the morrow. a romp with the children is not lost; but, on the other hand, is a benefit for both parent and child. thoughtful parents can think of many things that will increase the interest in home and will draw them closer to their children. sometimes it is good for the children to visit their friends, but parents should always be acquainted with these friends. never let your child go where games are played that you would not allow played in your own home. here is where conscience and confidence will help you. be cautious about allowing your child to go somewhere to stay all night. in this way many a child has learned evil practises and in some cases been ruined. then, too, it draws his mind away from the home circle. "but," you say, "all this i have done, and yet my children are now forgetful of it all. they are indulging in many things that they were taught to be harmful to the soul." my dear friend, can you not remember when this state of things began? can you not point to a time when there was a drifting from your home circle? when home life began to seem too narrow for your child? when he began to crave the association of others more than that of his own brothers and sisters? did you at that time lift up your home banner and shield? did you tell him of the rapids in the distance? "no," you falteringly answer; "i thought there could be no harm in allowing him to mingle with his chums at school and to visit them in their homes. i was afraid to be too particular, lest he should think me too strict with him." ah! friend, that was your golden opportunity, and you failed to see it. after instructing the child, you should have bowed with him in prayer, giving him over to god's keeping. then, if he chose to go--remembering that your prayers were following him--nine chances out of ten he would have returned with words similar to those spoken by a youth who had been permitted to attend a party. in answer to his father's question he said, "yes; i had a good time, but i have better times at home." "better times at home!" think of it, parents! is it not worth some self-denial, some sacrifices, on pour part, to have your home spoken of in this manner? "yes," says a mother, "that is all right when both parents are in harmony and have salvation; but suppose that the parents are poor and that one is unsaved?" i have seen just such homes as this governed in the manner whereof i speak. god gave more grace and strength to the saved companion; and, although there were many difficulties to encounter, yet the saved one was able to influence the home for god. "all things are possible to him that believeth," said christ in olden times, and his statement is still true. again, i hear a parent whose loved companion has recently died say, "what can i do now to train my children aright?" there comes before my mind a beautiful scene of a faithful mother with her son and daughter whom she had brought up to god's glory. she was left alone with these two precious ones to guide and rear to manhood and womanhood. she bade adieu to the words "i can't" and with determination went about her task. as god never lets such zeal go without assistance, this mother found help in time of need. another scene which i love to recall is that of a devoted father and by his side his two motherless daughters just entering womanhood. he gives them every spare moment that he has, and both are real examples of trust and purity. in your zeal to find entertainment for your children, do not forget that they must have employment. see that every member of your household has certain work to do. this work should be suited to the years and the strength of the individual and, if possible, to his likes and dislikes. work of the proper kind will strengthen the muscles, improve the health, keep out many evils, and create in the young a desire to help bear the burdens of life. periods of rest may be made profitable by having on hand as much wholesome literature as you are able to secure. by this means much useful knowledge may be stored. the reading need not be confined wholly to religious works; reliable treatises on science, art, mechanics, cooking, chemistry, domestic economy, health, etc., are all profitable if not indulged in to the exclusion of religious literature. if you trust god, he will help you to know what to do. a lady once said, "our children are what we make them, and we get out of them just what we put in." these words contain much truth. god holds all parents, according to their light and understanding, responsible for the training of their children. if you have a preference among your children, never reveal it. on the contrary, endeavor to place the less favored ahead in your care and attention. you can justly do this, for the favorite will get all the attention he deserves anyway. i well remember a case where the mother's favorite son brought sorrow and shame to the entire household by stealing from his own father, simply because she had humored and petted him in childhood. parents can not be too careful in this respect. many a mother does not realize how highly her children value her opinion. a boy had met with an accident that somewhat disfigured him for a time. while he was preparing to leave for school, his mother said, "you will no doubt be made sport of today; are you able to bear it?" his answer was, "oh, i don't care what any one says about me but you; but if you were to make fun of me, i couldn't stand it." sweet gem of the home. _thou formal home, so graced, so blest, with earthly treasures rare; within thy portals we expect all graces rich and fair. we gaze, we search, but all in vain; the gem we love so well, "sweet innocence," doth not remain, nor in thy chambers dwell. thy children, as the world they greet, are bearing tales of thee; "i was not warned," they oft repeat, nor taught at mother's knee. sweet innocence, thou heav'nly grace, rich gem from god above! thy touch upon the human face reveals but peace and love. thy treasures richer far than gold, thy gifts of greatest worth, might grace our homes, except for sin, whose curse now sweeps the earth. we look for thee within the maid, with beauty, grace, and charm, but find thy flight she hath not stayed, nor doth she feel alarm. then in the lad, whose noble brow thy presence might suggest; with closer view we must allow by thee he is not blest. e'en when we look within the child and laud his graces sweet, we find his mind so soon defiled for thee 'tis no retreat. "and why?" we ask, "oh! why is this? such need and dearth abound. oh! why in homes of promised bliss may not this gem be found?" the mystery, so deep, so great, is simply lack of prayer; is bidding timely warning wait for daily toil and care. allowing things that crumble, waste, our whole attention claim, we cause sweet innocence in haste to leave our homes to shame. but thee, sweet grace, we find in some-- thank god thou art not lost!-- we see thee in the christian home as royal guest and host. we note the mother as she pleads for counsel from god's throne, then goes with wisdom that she needs and strength to make it known. we watch the child in this true home, and in its face so fair we recognise what doth become a faithful mother's prayer. sweet innocence! may we extol, within the home, thy art; thy power to beautify the soul, to teach the pure in heart. thou gift divine! thou fairest gem! thy presence may we crave, that thou mayst grace our diadem in life beyond the grave. reveal, o grace, unto the world thy beauties rich and rare, that all may understand and know what mothers find in prayer_. none note: project gutenberg also has an html version of this file which includes the original illustrations. see -h.htm or -h.zip: (http://www.gutenberg.net/dirs/ / / / / / -h/ -h.htm) or (http://www.gutenberg.net/dirs/ / / / / / -h.zip) false friends the sailor's resolve [illustration: lady grange reading to her son. _page ._] [illustration: a talk about the picture. _page ._] false friends "thorns and snares are in the way of the froward."--prov. xxii. . [illustration: reflection. _page ._] "philip, your conduct has distressed me exceedingly," said lady grange, laying her hand on the arm of her son, as they entered together the elegant apartment which had been fitted up as her boudoir. "you could not but know my feelings towards those two men--i will not call them gentlemen--whose company you have again forced upon me. you must be aware that your father has shut the door of this house against them." "my father has shut the door against better men than they are," said the youth carelessly; "witness my own uncles henry and george." the lip of the lady quivered, the indignant colour rose even to her temples; she attempted to speak, but her voice failed her, and she turned aside to hide her emotion. "well, mother, i did not mean to vex you," said philip, who was rather weak in purpose than hardened in evil; "it _was_ a shame to bring jones and wildrake here, but--but you see i couldn't help it." and he played uneasily with his gold-headed riding-whip, while his eye avoided meeting that of his mother. "they have acquired some strange influence, some mysterious hold over you," answered the lady. "it cannot be," she added anxiously, "that you have broken your promise,--that they have drawn you again to the gaming-table,--that you are involved in debt to these men?" philip whistled an air and sauntered up to the window. lady grange pressed her hand over her eyes, and a sigh, a very heavy sigh, burst from her bosom. philip heard, and turned impatiently round. "there's no use in making the worst of matters," said he; "what's done can't be helped; and my debts, such as they are, won't ruin a rich man like my father." "it is not that which i fear," said the mother faintly, with a terrible consciousness that her son,--her hope, her pride, the delight of her heart,--had entered on a course which, if persevered in, must end in his ruin both of body and soul. "i tremble at the thought of the misery which you are bringing on yourself. these men are making you their victim: they are blinding your eyes; they are throwing a net around you, and you have not the resolution to break from the snare." "they are very pleasant, jovial fellows!" cried philip, trying to hide under an appearance of careless gaiety the real annoyance which he felt at the words of his mother. "i've asked them to dine here to-day and--" "i shall not appear at the table," said lady grange, drawing herself up with dignity; "and if your father should arrive--" "oh! he won't arrive to-night; he never travels so late." "but, philip," said the lady earnestly again laying her cold hand on his arm. she was interrupted by her wayward and undutiful son. "mother, there's no use in saying anything more on the subject; it only worries you, and puts me out of temper. i can't, and i won't be uncivil to my friends;" and turning hastily round, philip quitted the apartment. "friends!" faintly echoed lady grange, as she saw the door close behind her misguided son. "oh!" she exclaimed, throwing herself on a sofa, and burying her face, "was there ever a mother--ever a woman so unhappy as i am!" her cup was indeed very bitter; it was one which the luxuries that surrounded her had not the least power to sweeten. her husband was a man possessing many noble qualities both of head and heart; but the fatal love of gold, like those petrifying springs which change living twigs to dead stone, had made him hardened, quarrelsome, and worldly. it had drawn him away from the worship of his god; for there is deep truth in the declaration of the apostle, that the covetous man is _an idolater_. it was this miserable love of gold which had induced sir gilbert to break with the family of his wife, and separate her from those to whom her loving heart still clung with the fondest affection. lady grange yearned for a sight of her early home; but gold had raised a barrier between her and the companions of her childhood. and what had the possession of gold done for the man who made it his idol? it had put snares in the path of his only son; it had made the weak-minded but head-strong youth be entrapped by the wicked for the sake of his wealth, as the ermine is hunted down for its rich fur. it had given to himself heavy responsibilities, for which he would have to answer at the bar of heaven; for from him unto whom much has been given, much at the last day will be required. yes, lady grange was very miserable. and how did she endeavour to lighten the burden of her misery? was it by counting over her jewels,--looking at the costly and beautiful things which adorned her dwelling,--thinking of her carriages and horses and glittering plate, or the number of her rich and titled friends? no; she sought comfort where widow green had sought it when her child lay dangerously ill, and there was neither a loaf on her shelf nor a penny in her purse. the rich lady did what the poor one had done,--she fell on her knees and with tears poured out her heart to the merciful father of all. she told him her sorrows, she told him her fears; she asked him for that help which she so much required. her case was a harder one than the widow's. a visit from the clergyman, a present from a benevolent friend, god's blessing on a simple remedy, had soon changed mrs. green's sorrow into joy. the anguish of lady grange lay deeper; her faith was more sorely tried; her fears were not for the bodies but the souls of those whom she loved;--and where is the mortal who can give us a cure for the disease of sin? while his mother was weeping and praying, philip was revelling and drinking. fast were the bottles pushed round, and often were the glasses refilled. the stately banqueting-room resounded with laughter and merriment; and as the evening advanced, with boisterous song. it was late before the young men quitted the table; and then, heated with wine, they threw the window wide open, to let the freshness of the night air cool their fevered temples. beautiful looked the park in the calm moonlight. not a breath stirred the branches of the trees, their dark shadows lay motionless on the green sward: perfect silence and stillness reigned around. but the holy quietness of nature was rudely disturbed by the voices of the revellers. with the conversation that passed i shall not soil my pages. the window opened into a broad stone balcony, and seating themselves upon its parapet, the young men exchanged stories and jests. after many sallies of so-called wit, wildrake rallied philip on the quantity of wine which he had taken, and betted that he could not walk steadily from the one end of the balcony to the other. philip, with that insane pride which can plume itself on being _mighty to mingle strong drink_, maintained that his head was as clear and his faculties as perfect as though he had tasted nothing but water; and declared that he could walk round the edge of the parapet with as steady a step as he would tread the gravel-path in the morning! wildrake laughed, and dared him to do it: jones betted ten to one that he could not. "done!" cried philip, and sprang up on the parapet in a moment. "come down again!" called out wildrake, who had enough of sense left to perceive the folly and danger of the wager. philip did not appear to hear him. attempting to balance himself by his arms, with a slow and unsteady step he began to make his way along the lofty and narrow edge. the two young men held their breath. to one who with unsteady feet walks the slippery margin of temptation, the higher his position, the greater his danger; the loftier his elevation, the more perilous a fall! "he will never get to the end!" said jones, watching with some anxiety the movements of his companion. the words had scarcely escaped his lips when they received a startling fulfilment. philip had not proceeded half way along the parapet when a slight sound in the garden below him attracted his attention. he glanced down for a moment; and there, in the cold, clear moonlight, gazing sternly upon him, he beheld his father! the sudden start of surprise which he gave threw the youth off his balance,--he staggered back, lost his footing, stretched out his hands wildly to save himself, and fell with a loud cry to the ground! all was now confusion and terror. there were the rushing of footsteps hither and thither, voices calling, bells loudly ringing, and, above all, the voice of a mother's anguish, piercing to the soul! jones and wildrake hurried off to the stables, saddled their horses themselves, and dashed off at full speed to summon a surgeon, glad of any excuse to make their escape from the place. the unfortunate philip was raised from the ground, and carried into the house. his groans showed the severity of his sufferings. the slightest motion was to him torture, and an hour of intense suspense ensued before the arrival of the surgeon. lady grange made a painful effort to be calm. she thought of everything, did all that she could do for the relief of her son, and even strove to speak words of comfort and hope to her husband, who appeared almost stupified by his sorrow. prayer was still her support--prayer, silent, but almost unceasing. the surgeon arrived,--the injuries received by the sufferer were examined, though it was long before philip, unaccustomed to pain and incapable of self-control, would permit necessary measures to be taken. his resistance greatly added to his sufferings. he had sustained a compound fracture of his leg, besides numerous bruises and contusions. the broken bone had to be set, and the pale mother stood by, longing, in the fervour of her unselfish love, that she could endure the agony in the place of her son. the pampered child of luxury shrank sensitively from pain, and the thought that he had brought all his misery upon himself by his folly and disobedience rendered it yet more intolerable. when the surgeon had at length done his work, lady grange retired with him to another apartment, and, struggling to command her choking voice, asked him the question on the reply to which all her earthly happiness seemed to hang,--whether he had hope that the life of her boy might be spared. "i have every hope", said the surgeon, cheerfully, "if we can keep down the fever." then, for the first time since she had seen her son lie bleeding before her, the mother found the relief of tears. through the long night she quitted not the sufferer's pillow, bathing his fevered brow, relieving his thirst, whispering comfort to his troubled spirit. soon after daybreak philip sank into a quiet, refreshing sleep; and lady grange, feeling as if a mountain's weight had been lifted from her heart, hurried to carry the good news to her husband. she found him in the spacious saloon, pacing restlessly to and fro. his brow was knit, his lips compressed; his disordered dress and haggard countenance showed that he, too, had watched the live-long night. "he sleeps at last, gilbert, thank god!" her face brightened as she spoke; but there was no corresponding look of joy on that of her husband. "gilbert, the doctor assures me that there is every prospect of our dear boy's restoration!" "and to what is he to be restored?" said the father gloomily; "to poverty--misery--ruin!" lady grange stood mute with surprise scarcely believing the evidence of her senses almost deeming that the words must have been uttered in a dream. but it was no dream, but one of those strange, stern realities which we meet with in life. her husband indeed stood before her a ruined man! a commercial crash, like those which have so often reduced the rich to poverty, coming almost as suddenly as the earthquake which shakes the natural world, had overthrown all his fortune! the riches in which he had trusted had taken to themselves wings and flown away. here was another startling shock, but lady grange felt it far less than the first. it seemed to her that if her son were only spared to her, she could bear cheerfully any other trial. when riches had increased, she had not set her heart upon them; she had endeavoured to spend them as a good steward of god and to lay up treasure in that blessed place where there is no danger of its ever being lost. sir gilbert was far more crushed than his wife was by this misfortune. he saw his idol broken before his eyes, and where was he to turn for comfort? everything upon which his eye rested was a source of pain to him; for must he not part with all, leave all in which his heart had delighted, all in which his soul had taken pride? he forgot that poverty was only forestalling by a few years the inevitable work of death! the day passed wearily away. philip suffered much pain, was weak and low, and bitterly conscious how well he had earned the misery which he was called on to endure. it was a mercy that he was experiencing, before it was too late, that _thorns and snares are in the way of the froward_. he liked his mother to read the bible to him, just a few verses at a time, as he had strength to bear it; and in this occupation she herself found the comfort which she needed. sir gilbert, full of his own troubles, scarcely ever entered the apartment of his son. towards evening a servant came softly into the sick-room, bringing a sealed letter for her lady. there was no post-mark upon it, and the girl informed her mistress that the gentleman who had brought it was waiting in the garden for a reply. the first glance at the hand-writing, at the well-known seal, brought colour to the cheek of the lady. but it was a hand-writing which she had been forbidden to read; it was a seal which she must not break! she motioned to the maid to take her place beside the invalid who happened at that moment to be sleeping and with a quick step and a throbbing heart she hurried away to find her husband. he was in his study, his arms resting on his open desk, and his head bowed down upon them. bills and papers, scattered in profusion on the table, showed what had been the nature of the occupation which he had not had the courage to finish. he started from his posture of despair as his wife laid a gentle touch on his shoulder; and, without uttering a word, she placed the unopened letter in his hand. my reader shall have the privilege of looking over sir gilbert's shoulder, and perusing the contents of that letter:-- "dearest sister,--we have heard of your trials, and warmly sympathize in your sorrow. let sir gilbert know that we have placed at his banker's, after having settled it upon you, double the sum which caused our unhappy differences. let the past be forgotten; let us again meet as those should meet who have gathered together round the same hearth, mourned over the same grave, and shared joys and sorrows together, as it is our anxious desire to do now. i shall be my own messenger, and shall wait in person to receive your reply.--your ever attached brother, "henry latour." a few minutes more and lady grange was in the arms of her brother; while sir gilbert was silently grasping the hand of one whom, but for misfortune, he would never have known as a friend. all the neighbourhood pitied the gentle lady, the benefactress of the poor, when she dismissed her servants, sold her jewels, and quitted her beautiful home to seek a humbler shelter. amongst the hundreds who crowded to the public auction of the magnificent furniture and plate, which had been the admiration of all who had seen them, many thought with compassion of the late owners, reduced to such sudden poverty, though the generosity of the lady's family had saved them from want or dependence. and yet truly, never since her marriage had lady grange been less an object of compassion. her son was slowly but surely recovering, and his preservation from meeting sudden death unprepared was to her a source of unutterable thankfulness. her own family appeared to regard her with even more tender affection than if no coldness had ever arisen between them; and their love was to her beyond price. even sir gilbert's harsh, worldly character, was somewhat softened by trials, and by the unmerited kindness which he met with from those whom, in his prosperity, he had slighted and shunned. lady grange felt that her prayers had been answered indeed, though in a way very different from what she had hoped or expected. the chain by which her son had been gradually drawn down towards rum, by those who sought his company for the sake of his money, had been suddenly snapped by the loss of his fortune. the weak youth was left to the guidance of those to whom his welfare was really dear. philip, obliged to rouse himself from his indolence, and exert himself to earn his living, became a far wiser and more estimable man than he would ever have been as the heir to a fortune; and he never forgot the lesson which pain, weakness, and shame had taught him,--that the way of evil is also the way of sorrow. _thorns and snares are in the way of the froward._ who wisdom's path forsakes, leaves all true joy behind: he who the peace of others breaks, no peace himself shall find. flowers above and thorns below, little pleasure, lasting woe,-- such is the fate that sinners know! the drunkard gaily sings above his foaming glass; but shame and pain the revel brings, ere many hours can pass. flowers above and thorns below, little pleasure, lasting woe,-- such is the fate that sinners know! the thief may count his gains;-- if he the sum could see of future punishment and pains, sad would his reckoning be! flowers above and thorns below, little pleasure, lasting woe,-- such is the fate that sinners know! the sabbath-breaker spurns what wisdom did ordain: god's rest to satan's use he turns,-- a blessing to a bane. flowers above and thorns below, little pleasure, lasting woe,-- such is the fate which sinners know! o lord, to thee we pray; do thou our faith increase; help us to walk in wisdom's way,-- the only way of peace: for flowers above and thorns below, little pleasure, lasting woe,-- such is the fate which sinners know! the sailor's resolve. "an angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression."--prov. xxix. . the old sailor jonas sat before the fire with his pipe in his mouth, looking steadfastly into the glowing coals. not that, following a favourite practice of his little niece, he was making out red-hot castles and flaming buildings in the grate, or that his thoughts were in any way connected with the embers: he was doing what it would be well if we all sometimes did,--looking into himself, and reflecting on what had happened in relation to his own conduct. "so," thought he, "here am i, an honest old fellow,--i may say it, with all my faults; and one who shrinks from falsehood more than from fire; and i find that i, with my bearish temper, am actually driving those about me into it--teaching them to be crafty, tricky, and cowardly! i knew well enough that my gruffness plagued others, but i never saw how it _tempted_ others until now; tempted them to meanness, i would say, for i have found a thousand times that _an angry man stirreth up strife_, and that a short word may begin a long quarrel. i am afraid that i have not thought enough on this matter. i've looked on bad temper as a very little sin, and i begin to suspect that it is a great one, both in god's eyes and in the consequences that it brings. let me see if i can reckon up its evils! it makes those miserable whom one would wish to make happy; it often, like an adverse gale, forces them to back, instead of steering straight for the port. it dishonours one's profession, lowers one's flag, makes the world mock at the religion which can leave a man as rough and rugged as a heathen savage. it's directly contrary to the word of god,--it's wide as east from west of the example set before us! yes, a furious temper is a very evil thing; i'd give my other leg to be rid of mine!" and in the warmth of his self-reproach the sailor struck his wooden one against the hearth with such violence as to make alie start in terror that some fierce explosion was about to follow. "well, i've made up my mind as to its being an evil--a great evil," continued jonas, in his quiet meditation; "the next question is, how is the evil to be got rid of? there's the pinch! it clings to one like one's skin. it's one's nature,--how can one fight against nature? and yet, i take it, it's the very business of faith to conquer our evil nature. as i read somewhere, any dead dog can float with the stream; it's the living dog that swims against it. i mind the trouble i had about the wicked habit of swearing, when first i took to trying to serve god and leave off my evil courses. bad words came to my mouth as natural as the very air that i breathed. what did i do to cure myself of that evil? why, i resolved again and again, and found that my resolutions were always snapping like a rotten cable in a storm; and i was driven from my anchorage so often, that i almost began to despair. then i prayed hard to be helped; and i said to myself, 'god helps those who help themselves, and maybe if i determine to do something that i should be sorry to do every time that an oath comes from my mouth, it would assist me to remember my duty.' i resolved to break my pipe the first time that i swore; and i've never uttered an oath from that day to this, not even in my most towering passions! now i'll try the same cure again; not to punish a sin, but to prevent it. if i fly into a fury, i'll break my pipe! there jonas colter, i give you fair warning!" and the old sailor smiled grimly to himself, and stirred the fire with an air of satisfaction. not one rough word did jonas utter that evening; indeed he was remarkably silent, for the simplest way of saying nothing evil, he thought, was to say nothing at all. jonas looked with much pleasure at his pipe when he put it on the mantle-piece for the night. "you've weathered this day, old friend," said he; "we'll be on the look out against squalls to-morrow." the next morning jonas occupied himself in his own room with his phials, and his nephew and niece were engaged in the kitchen in preparing for the sunday school, which their mother made, them regularly attend. the door was open between the two rooms and as the place was not large, jonas heard every word that passed between johnny and alie almost as well as if he had been close beside them. _johnny_. i say, alie-- _alie_. please, johnny, let me learn this quietly. if i do not know it my teacher will be vexed. my work being behind-hand yesterday has put me quite back with my tasks. you know that i cannot learn so fast as you do. _johnny_. oh! you've plenty of time. i want you to do something for me. do you know that i have lost my new ball? _alie_. why, i saw you take it out of your pocket yesterday, just after we crossed the stile on our way back from the farm. _johnny_. that's it! i took it out of my pocket, and i never put it in again. i want you to go directly and look for the ball. that stile is only three fields off, you know. you must look carefully along the path all the way; and lose no time, or some one else may pick it up. _alie_. pray, johnny, don't ask me to go into the fields. _johnny_. i tell you, you have plenty of time for your lessons. _alie_. it is not that, but-- _johnny_. speak out, will you? _alie_. you know--there are--cows! johnny burst into a loud, coarse laugh of derision. "you miserable little coward!" he cried; "i'd like to see one chasing you round the meadow! how you'd scamper! how you'd scream! rare fun it would be,--ha! ha! ha!" "rare fun would it be, sir!" exclaimed an indignant voice, as jonas stumped from the next room, and, seizing his nephew by the collar of his jacket, gave him a hearty shake; "rare fun would it be,--and what do you call this? you dare twit your sister with cowardice!--you who sneaked off yesterday like a fox because you had not the spirit to look an old man in the face!--you who bully the weak and cringe to the strong!--you who have the manners of a bear with the heart of a pigeon!" every sentence was accompanied by a violent shake, which almost took the breath from the boy; and jonas, red with passion, concluded his speech by flinging johnny from him with such force that, but for the wall against which he staggered, he must have fallen to the ground. the next minute jonas walked up to the mantle-piece, and exclaiming, in a tone of vexation, "run aground again!" took his pipe, snapped it in two, and flung the pieces into the fire! he then stumped back to his room, slamming the door behind him. "the old fury!" muttered the panting johnny between his clenched teeth, looking fiercely towards his uncle's room. "to break his own pipe!" exclaimed alie. "i never knew him do anything like that before, however angry he might be!" johnny took down his cap from its peg, and, in as ill humour as can well be imagined, went out to search for his ball. he took what revenge he could on his formidable uncle, while amusing himself that afternoon by looking over his "robinson crusoe." johnny was fond of his pencil, though he had never learned to draw; and the margins of his books were often adorned with grim heads or odd figures by his hand. there was a picture in "robinson crusoe" representing a party of cannibals, as hideous as fancy could represent them, dancing around their fire. johnny diverted his mind and gratified his malice by doing his best so to alter the foremost figure as to make him appear with a wooden leg, while he drew on his head a straw hat, unmistakably like that of the old sailor, and touched up the features so as to give a dim resemblance to his face. to prevent a doubt as to the meaning of the sketch, johnny scribbled on the side of the picture,-- "in search of fierce savages no one need roam; the fiercest and ugliest, you'll find him at home!" he secretly showed the picture to alie. "o johnny! how naughty! what would uncle say if he saw it?" "we might look out for squalls indeed! but uncle never by any chance looks at a book of that sort." "i think that you had better rub out the pencilling as fast as you can," said alie. "catch me rubbing it out!" cried johnny; "it's the best sketch that ever i drew, and as like the old savage as it can stare!" late in the evening their mother returned from brampton, where she had been nursing a sick lady. right glad were johnny and alie to see her sooner than they had ventured to expect. she brought them a few oranges, to show her remembrance of them. nor was the old sailor forgotten; carefully she drew from her bag and presented to him a new pipe. the children glanced at each other. jonas took the pipe with a curious expression on his face, which his sister was at a loss to understand. "thank'ee kindly," he said; "i see it'll be a case of-- "'if ye try and don't succeed, try, try, try again.'" what he meant was a riddle to every one else present, although not to the reader. the "try" was very successful on that evening and the following day. never had johnny and alie found their uncle so agreeable. his manner almost approached to gentleness,--it was a calm after a storm. "uncle is so very good and kind," said alie to her brother, as they walked home from afternoon service, "that i wonder how you can bear to have that naughty picture still in your book. he is not in the least like a cannibal, and it seems quite wrong to laugh at him so." "i'll rub it all out one of these days," replied johnny; "but i must show it first to peter crane. he says that i never hit on a likeness: if he sees that, he'll never say so again!" the next morning jonas occupied himself with gathering wild flowers and herbs in the fields. he carried them into his little room, where johnny heard him whistling "old tom bowling," like one at peace with himself and all the world. presently jonas called to the boy to bring him a knife from the kitchen; a request made in an unusually courteous tone of voice, and with which, of course, johnny immediately complied. he found jonas busy drying his plants, by laying them neatly between the pages of a book, preparatory to pressing them down. what was the terror of johnny when he perceived that the book whose pages jonas was turning over for this purpose was no other than his "robinson crusoe"! "oh! if i could only get it out of his hands before he comes to that horrid picture! oh! what shall i do? what shall i do?" thought the bewildered johnny. "uncle, i was reading that book," at last he mustered courage to say aloud. "you may read it again to-morrow," was the quiet reply of jonas. "perhaps he will not look at that picture," reflected johnny. "i wish that i could see exactly which part of the book he is at! he looks too quiet a great deal for any mischief to have been done yet! dear! dear! i would give anything to have that 'robinson crusoe' at the bottom of the sea! i do think that my uncle's face is growing very red!--yes! the veins on his forehead are swelling! depend on't he's turned over to those unlucky cannibals, and will be ready to eat me like one of them! i'd better make off before the thunder-clap comes!" "going to sheer off again, master johnny?" said the old sailor, in a very peculiar tone of voice, looking up from the open book on which his finger now rested. "i've a little business," stammered out johnny. "yes, a little business with me, which you'd better square before you hoist sail. why, when you made such a good figure of this savage, did you not clap jacket and boots on this little cannibal beside him, and make a pair of 'em 'at home'? i suspect you and i are both in the same boat as far as regards our tempers, my lad!" johnny felt it utterly impossible to utter a word in reply. "i'm afraid," pursued the seaman, closing the book, "that we've both had a bit too much of the savage about us,--too much of the dancing round the fire. but mark me, jack,--we learn even in that book that a savage, a cannibal _may_ be tamed; and we learn from something far better, that principle,--the noblest principle which can govern either the young or the old,--_may_, ay, and _must_, put out the fire of fierce anger in our hearts, and change us from wild beasts to men! so i've said my say," added jonas with a smile; "and in token of my first victory over my old foe, come here, my boy, and give us your hand!" "o uncle, i am so sorry!" exclaimed johnny, with moistened eyes, as he felt the kindly grasp of the old man. "sorry are you? and what were you on saturday when i shook you as a cat shakes a rat?" "why, uncle, i own that i was angry." "sorry now, and angry then? so it's clear that the mild way has the best effect, to say nothing of the example." and jonas fell into a fit of musing. all was fair weather and sunshine in the home on that day, and on many days after. jonas had, indeed, a hard struggle to subdue his temper, and often felt fierce anger rising in his heart, and ready to boil over in words of passion or acts of violence; but jonas, as he had endeavoured faithfully to serve his queen, while he fought under her flag, brought the same earnest and brave sense of duty to bear on the trials of daily life. he never again forgot his resolution, and every day that passed made the restraint which he laid upon himself less painful and irksome to him. if the conscience of any of my readers should tell him that, by his unruly temper, he is marring the peace of his family, oh! let him not neglect the evil as a small one, but, like the poor old sailor in my story, resolutely struggle against it. for _an angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression._ there is sin in commencing strife; sin in the thoughtless jest or angry burst, which awakens first the ire in a brother's breast! there is sin in stirring up strife, in fanning the smouldering flame, by scornful eye, or proud reply, or anger-stirring name. there is sin in keeping up strife, dark, soul-destroying sin. who cherishes hate may seek heaven's gate, but never can enter in. for peace is the christian's joy, and love is the christian's life; he's bound for a home where hate cannot come, nor the shadow of sin or strife! just sixteen. [illustration: "we will have luncheon here close to the fire," she said, "and be as cosey as possible."--_page ._] just sixteen. by susan coolidge, author of "the new year's bargain," "what katy did," "what katy did at school," "what katy did next," "clover," "a guernsey lily," etc. [illustration: qui legit regit.] boston: roberts brothers. . _copyright, _, by roberts brothers. university press: john wilson and son, cambridge, u.s.a. contents. page a little knight of labor (_two illustrations_) snowy peter the do something society who ate the queen's luncheon? (_illustration_) the shipwrecked cologne-bottle under a syringa-bush two girls--two parties the pink sweetmeat etelka's choice (_illustration_) the fir cones a balsam pillow colonel wheeler ninety-three and ninety-four the sorrows of felicia imprisoned a child of the sea folk just sixteen. a little knight of labor. the first real snow-storm of the winter had come to sandyport by the sea. it had been a late and merciful autumn. till well into november the leaves still clung to their boughs, honeysuckles made shady coverts on trellises, and put forth now and then an orange and milk-white blossom full of frosty sweetness; the grass was still green where the snow allowed it to be seen. thick and fast fell the wind-blown flakes on the lightly frozen ground. the patter and beat of the flying storm was a joyous sound to children who owned sleds and had been waiting the chance to use them. many a boy's face looked out as the dusk fell, to make sure that the storm continued; and many a bright voice cried, "hurrah! it's coming down harder than ever! to-morrow it will be splendid!" stable-men were shaking out fur robes and arranging cutters. already the fitful sound of sleigh-bells could be heard; and all the world--the world of sandyport that is--was preparing to give the in-coming winter a gay welcome. but in one house in an old-fashioned but still respectable street no one seemed inclined to join in the general merry-making. only two lights broke its darkness: one shone from the kitchen at the back, where, beside a kerosene lamp, bethia kendrick, the old-time servitor of the talcott family, was gloomily darning stockings, and otherwise making ready for departure on the morrow. the other and fainter glow came from the front room, where without any lamp georgie talcott sat alone beside her fire. it was a little fire, and built of rather queer materials. there were bits of lath and box-covers, fence-pickets split in two, shavings, pasteboard clippings, and on top of all, half of an old chopping-bowl. the light material burned out fast, and had to be continually replenished from the basket which stood on one side the grate. georgie, in fact, was burning up the odds and ends of her old life before leaving it behind forever. she was to quit the house on the morrow; and there was something significant to her, and very sorrowful, in this disposal of its shreds and fragments; they meant so little to other people, and so very much to her. the old chopping-bowl, for instance,--her thoughts went back from it to the first time she had ever been permitted to join in the making of the christmas pies. she saw her mother, still a young woman then, and pretty with the faded elegance which had been her characteristic, weighing the sugar and plums, and slicing the citron, while her own daring little hands plied the chopper in that very bowl. what joy there was in those vigorous dabs and cross-way cuts! how she had liked to do it! and now, the pretty mother, faded and gray, lay under the frozen turf, on which the snow-flakes were thickly falling. there could be no more christmases for georgie in the old house; it was sold, and to-morrow would close its doors behind her forever. she shivered as these thoughts passed through her mind, and rising moved restlessly toward the window. it was storming faster than ever. the sight seemed to make the idea of the morrow harder to bear; a big tear formed in each eye, blurring the white world outside into a dim grayness. presently one ran down her nose and fell on her hand. she looked at it with dismay, wiped it hastily off, and went back to the fire. "i won't cry, whatever happens, i'm resolved on that," she said half aloud, as she put the other half of the chopping-bowl on the waning blaze. the deep-soaked richness of long-perished meats was in the old wood still. it flared broadly up the chimney. georgie again sat down by the fire and resumed her thinking. "what am i going to do?" she asked herself for the hundredth time. "when my visit to cousin vi is over, i must decide on something; but what? a week is such a short time in which to settle such an important thing." it is hard to be confronted at twenty with the problem of one's own support. georgie hitherto had been as happy and care-free as other girls. her mother, as the widow of a naval officer, was entitled to a small pension. this, with a very little more in addition, had paid for georgie's schooling, and kept the old house going in a sufficiently comfortable though very modest fashion. but mrs. talcott was not by nature an exemplary manager. it was hard not to overrun here and there, especially after georgie grew up, and "took her place in society," as the poor lady phrased it,--the place which was rightfully hers as her father's daughter and the descendant of a long line of talcotts and chaunceys and wainwrights. she coveted pretty things for her girl, as all mothers do, and it was too much for her strength always to deny herself. so georgie had "just this" and "just that," and being a fresh attractive creature, and a favorite, made her little go as far as the other girls' much, and now and again the tiny capital was encroached upon. and then, and then,--this is a world of sorry chances, as the weak and helpless find to their cost,--came the bad year, when the ranscuttle mills passed their dividend and the stock went down to almost nothing; and then mrs. talcott's long illness, and then her death. sickness and death are luxuries which the poor will do well to go without. georgie went over the calculations afresh as she sat by the fire, and the result came out just the same, and not a penny better. when she had paid for her mother's funeral, and all the last bills, she would have exactly a hundred and seventy-five dollars a year to live upon,--that and no more! the furniture,--could she get something for that? she glanced round the room, and shook her head. the articles were neither handsome enough nor quaint enough to command a good price. she looked affectionately at the hair-cloth sofa on which her mother had so often lain, at the well-worn secretary. how could she part with these? how could she sell her great-grandfather's picture, or who, in fact, except herself, would care for the rather ill-painted portrait of a rigid old worthy of the last century, in a wig and ruffled shirt, with a view of sandyport harbor by way of a background? her father's silhouette hung beneath it, with his sword and a little mezzotint of his ship. these were treasures to her, but what were they to any one else? "no," she decided. "bethia shall take the old kitchen things and her own bedroom furniture, and have the use of them; but the rest must go into miss sally's attic for the present. they wouldn't fetch anything; and if they would, i don't think i could bear to sell them. and now that is settled, i must think again, what _am_ i to do? i must do something." she turned over all manner of schemes in her mind, but all seemed fruitless. sew? the town was full of sempstresses. georgie knew of half a dozen who could not get work enough to keep them busy half the time. teach? she could not; her education in no one respect had been thorough enough. embroider for the women's exchanges and decorative art societies? perhaps; but it seemed to her that was the very thing to which all destitute people with pretensions to gentility fled as a matter of course, and that the market for tidies and "splashers" and pine-pillows was decidedly overstocked. "it's no use thinking about it to-night," was the sensible decision to which she at last arrived. "i am too tired. i'll get a sound night's sleep if i can, and put off my worries till i am safely at miss sally's." the sound night's sleep stood georgie in good stead, for the morrow taxed all her powers of endurance, both physical and moral. bethia, unhappy at losing the home of years, was tearful and fractious to a degree. sending off the furniture through the deep snow proved a slow and troublesome matter. the doors necessarily stood open a great deal, the rooms grew very cold, everything was comfortless and dispiriting. and underlying all, put aside but never unfelt, was a deep sense of pain at the knowledge that this was the last day,--the very, very last of the home she had always known, and might know no more. when the final sledge-load creaked away over the hard frozen crust, georgie experienced a sense of relief. "the sooner 'tis over, the sooner to sleep," she sang below her breath. everything was in order. she had generalled all ably; nothing was omitted or forgotten. with steady care she raked out the fire in the kitchen stove, which the new owner of the house had taken off her hands, and saw to the fastenings of the windows. then she tied on her bonnet and black veil, gave the weeping bethia a good-by kiss on the door-step, closed and locked the door, and waded wearily through the half-broken paths to the boarding-house of miss sally scannell, where cousin vi, otherwise miss violet talcott, had lived for years. no very enthusiastic reception awaited her. cousin vi's invitation had been given from a sense of duty. she "owed it to the child," she told herself, as she cleared out a bureau-drawer, and made a place for georgie's trunk in the small third-story room which for sixteen years had represented to her all the home she had known. of course such a visit must be a brief one. "so you're come!" was her greeting as georgie appeared. "i thought you'd be here sooner; but i suppose you've had a good deal to do. i should have offered to help if the day had not been so cold. come in and take your things off." georgie glanced about her as she smoothed her hair. the room bore the unmistakable marks of spinsterhood and decayed gentility. it was crammed with little belongings, some valuable, some perfectly valueless. two or three pieces of spindle-legged and claw-footed mahogany made an odd contrast to the common painted bedroom set. miniatures by malbone and lovely pale-lined mezzotints and line engravings hung on the walls amid a maze of photographs and japanese fans and christmas cards and chromos; an indescribable confusion of duds encumbered every shelf and table; and in the midst sat miss vi's tall, meager, dissatisfied self, with thin hair laboriously trained after the prevailing fashion, and a dress whose antique material seemed oddly unsuited to its modern cut and loopings. somehow the pitifulness of the scene struck georgie afresh. "shall i ever be like this?" she reflected. "now tell me what has happened since the funeral," said her cousin. "i had neuralgia all last week and week before, or i should have got down oftener. who has called? have the hanburys been to see you?" "ellen came last week, but i was out," replied georgie. "what a pity! and how did it happen that you were out? you ought not to have been seen in the street so soon, i think. it's not customary." "how could i help it?" responded georgie, sadly. "i had all the move to arrange for. mr. custer wanted the house for saturday. there was no one to go for me." "i suppose you couldn't; but it's a pity. it's never well to outrage conventionalities. have mrs. st. john and mrs. constant carrington called?" "mrs. carrington hasn't, but she wrote me a little note. and dear mrs. st. john came twice, and brought flowers, and was ever so kind. she always has been so very nice to me, you know." "naturally! the st. johns were nobodies till mr. st. john made all that money in railroads. she is glad enough to be on good terms with the old families, of course." "i don't think it's that," said georgie, rather wearily. "i think she's nice because she's naturally so kind-hearted, and she likes me." the tea-bell put an end to the discussion. miss sally's welcome was a good deal warmer than cousin vi's had been. "you poor dear child," she exclaimed, "you look quite tired out! here, take this seat by the fire, georgie, and i'll pour your tea out first of all. she needs it, don't she?" to cousin vi. "_miss talcott_ is rather tired, i dare say," said that lady, icily. cousin vi had lived for sixteen years in daily intercourse with miss sally, one of the sunniest and most friendly of women, and had never once relaxed into cordiality in all that time. her code of manners included no approximation toward familiarity between a talcott and a letter of lodgings. georgie took a different view. "thank you so much, dear miss sally," she said. "how good you are! i _am_ tired." "i wish you wouldn't call miss sally 'dear,'" her cousin remarked after they had gone upstairs. "that sort of thing is most disagreeable to me. you have to be on your guard continually in a house like this, or you get mixed up with all sorts of people." georgie let it pass. she was too tired to argue. "now, let us talk about your plans," miss talcott said next morning. "have you made any yet?" "n--o; only that i must find some work to do at once." "don't speak like that to any one but me," her cousin said sharply. "there _are_ lady-like occupations, of course, in which you can--can--mingle; but they need not be mentioned, or made known to people in general." "what _do_ you mean?" "i don't know, i'm sure. i've never had occasion to look into the matter, but i suppose a girl situated as you are could find something,--embroidery, for instance. you could do that for the decorative art. they give you a number, and nobody knows your real name." "i thought of embroidery," said georgie; "but i never was very good at it, and so many are doing it nowadays. besides, it seems to me that people are getting rather tired of all but the finer sort of work." "what became of that nephew of mr. constant carrington whom you used to see so much of two or three years ago?" demanded miss vi, irrelevantly. "bob curtis? i don't quite know where he is. his father failed, don't you remember, and lost all his money, and bob had to leave harvard and go into some sort of business?" "oh, did he? he's of no consequence, then. i don't know what made me think of him. well, you could read to an invalid, perhaps, or go to europe with some lady who wanted a companion." "or be second-best wing-maker to an angel," put in georgie, with a little glint of humor. "cousin vi, all that would be very pleasant, but i don't think it is likely to happen. i'm dreadfully afraid no one wants me to go to europe; and i must have something to do at once, you know. i must earn my bread." "don't use such a phrase. it sounds too coarse for anything." "i don't think so, cousin vi. i don't mind working a bit, if only i can hit on something that somebody wants, and that i can do well." "this is exactly what i have been afraid of," said miss vi, despairingly. "i've always had a fear that old jacob talcott would break out in you sooner or later. he has skipped two generations, but he was bound to show himself some day or other. he had exactly that common sort of way of looking at things and talking about them,--the only talcott i ever knew of that did! don't you recollect how he insisted on putting his son into business, and the boy ran away and went to the west indies and married some sort of creole,--all his father's fault? "now, i'll tell you," she went on after a pause. "i've been thinking over this matter, and have made up my mind about it. you're not to do anything foolish, georgie. if you do, you'll be sorry for it all your life, and i shall never forgive you besides. such a good start as you have made in society, and all; it will be quite too much if you go and spoil your chances with those ridiculous notions of yours. now, listen. if you'll give up all idea of supporting yourself, unless it is by doing embroidery or something like that, which no one need know about, i'll--i'll--well--i'll agree to pay your board here at miss sally's, and give you half this room for a year. as likely as not you'll be married by the end of that time, or if not, something else will have turned up! any way, i'll do it for one year. when the year is over, we can talk about the next." and miss talcott folded her hands with the manner of one who has offered an ultimatum. if rather a grudging, this was a really generous offer, as georgie well knew. to add the expense of her young cousin's board to her own would cost miss vi no end of self-denials, pinchings here and pinchings there, the daily frets and calculations that weigh so heavily. miss talcott's slender income at its best barely sufficed for the narrow lodgings, to fight off the shabbiness which would endanger her place in "society," and to pay for an occasional cab and theatre ticket. not to do, or at least to seem to be doing and enjoying, what other people did, was real suffering to cousin vi. yet she was deliberately invoking it by her proposal. had it been really made for her sake, had it been quite disinterested, georgie would have been deeply touched and grateful; as it was, she was sufficiently so to thank her cousin warmly, but without committing herself to acceptance. she must think it over, she said. she did think it over till her mind fairly ached with the pressure of thought, as the body does after too much exercise. she walked past the woman's exchange and studied the articles in the windows. there were the same towels and tidies that had been there two months before, or what seemed the same. georgie recollected similar articles worked by people whom she knew about, for which she had been asked to buy raffle tickets. "she can't get any one to buy it," had been said. depending on such work for a support seemed a bare outlook. she walked away with a little shake of her head. "no," she thought; "embroidery wouldn't pay unless i had a 'gift'; and i don't seem to have a gift for anything unless it is housework. i always was good at that; but i suppose i can't exactly take a place as parlor-maid. cousin vi would certainly clap me into an asylum if i suggested such a thing. how nice it would be to have a real genius for something! though now that i think of it, a good many geniuses have died in attics, of starvation, without being able to help themselves." when she reached home she took a pencil and a piece of paper and wrote as follows:-- _things wanted._ . something i can do. . something that somebody wants me to do. . something that all the other somebodies in search of work are not trying to do. round these problems her thoughts revolved, and though nothing came of them as yet, it seemed to clear her mind to have them set down in black and white. meantime the two days' _tête-à-tête_ with cousin vi produced one distinct result, which was, that let come what come might, georgie resolved that nothing should induce her to stay on at miss sally's as proposed, and be idle. her healthy and vigorous youth recoiled from the idea. "it is really good of her to ask me," she thought, "though she only does it for the honor of the family and the dead-and-gone talcotts. but what a life it would be, and for a whole year too! cousin vi has stood it for sixteen, to be sure, poor thing! but how could she? mother used to say that she was called a bright girl when she first grew up. surely she might have made something of herself if she had tried, and if aunt talcott hadn't considered work one of the seven deadly sins for a lady! she was handsome, too. even i can recollect her as very good looking. and here she is, all alone, and getting shabbier and poorer all the time. i know she sometimes has not money enough to pay her board, and has to ask miss sally to wait, snubbing her and despising her all the time, and holding on desperately to her little figment of gentility. people laugh at her and make fun of her behind her back. they invite her now and then, but they don't really care for her. what is such a society worth? i'll take in washing before i'll come to be like cousin vi!" * * * * * how little we guess, as we grope in the mists of our own uncertainties, just where the light is going to break through! georgie talcott, starting for a walk with her cousin on the third day of her stay at miss sally's, saw the st. john carriage pass them and then pull up suddenly at the curb-stone; but she had no idea that so simple a circumstance could affect her fate in any manner. it did, though. mrs. st. john was leaning out of the window before they got to the place where the carriage stood, and two prettily gloved hands were stretched eagerly forth. "georgie! oh georgie, how glad i am to see you out, dear! i made henry stop, because i want you to get in for a little drive and then come home with me to lunch. mr. st. john is in new york. i am quite alone, and i'll give orders that no one shall be admitted, if you will. don't you think she might, miss talcott? it isn't like going anywhere else, you know,--just coming to me quietly like that." "i don't see that there would be any impropriety in it," said miss talcott, doubtfully; "though--with you, however, it _is_ different. but please don't mention it to any one, mrs. st. john. it might be misunderstood and lead to invitations which georgie could not possibly accept. good-morning." with a stately bend cousin vi sailed down the street. mrs. st. john, i am sorry to say, made a face after her as she went. "absurd old idiot!" she muttered. "such airs!" then she drew georgie in, and as soon as the carriage was in motion pulled her veil aside and gave her a warm kiss. "i am so glad to get hold of you again!" she said. mrs. st. john, rich, childless, warm-hearted, and not over-wise, had adopted georgie as a special pet on her first appearance in society two years before. it is always pleasant for a girl to be made much of by an older woman; and when that woman has a carriage and a nice house, and can do all sorts of things for the girl's entertainment, it is none the less agreeable. georgie was really fond of her friend. people who are not over-wise are often loved as much as wiser ones; it is one of the laws of compensation. "now tell me all about yourself, and what you have been doing this past week," said mrs. st. john, as they drove down to the beach, where the surf-rollers had swept the sands clean of snow and left a dry, smooth roadway for the horses' feet. the sea wore its winter color that day,--a deep purple-blue, broken by flashing foam-caps; the wind was blowing freshly; a great sense of refreshment came to georgie, who had been wearying for a change. "it has been rather sad and hard," she said. "i have had the house to clear out and close, and all manner of things to do, and i was pretty tired when i finished. but i am getting rested now, and by and by i want to talk over my affairs with you." "plans?" asked mrs. st. john. "not exactly. i have no plans as yet; but i must have some soon. now tell me what _you_ have been doing." mrs. st. john was never averse to talking about herself. she always had a mass of experiences and adventures to relate, which though insignificant enough when you came to analyze them, were so deeply interesting to herself that somehow her auditors got interested in them also. georgie, used to her ways, listened and sympathized without effort, keeping her eyes fixed meanwhile on the shining, shifting horizon of the sea, and the lovely arch of clear morning sky. how wide and free and satisfactory it was; how different from the cramped outlook into which she had perforce been gazing for days back! "if life could all be like that!" she thought. the st. john house seemed a model of winter comfort, bright, flower-scented, and deliciously warm, as they entered it after their drive. mrs. st. john rang for her maid to take off their wraps, and led georgie through the drawing-room and the library to a smaller room beyond, which was her favorite sitting-place of a morning. "we will have luncheon here close to the fire," she said, "and be as cosey as possible." it was a pretty room, not over-large, fitted up by a professional decorator in a good scheme of color, and crowded with ornaments of all sorts, after the modern fashion. it was many weeks since georgie had seen it, and its profusion and costliness of detail struck her as it never had done before. perhaps she was in the mood to observe closely. they were still sipping their hot _bouillon_ in great comfort, when a sudden crash was heard in the distance. "there!" said mrs. st. john, resignedly; "that's the second since monday! what is it _now_, pierre?" she pushed back her chair and went hurriedly into the farther room. presently she came back laughing, but looking flushed and annoyed. "it's really too vexatious," she said. "there seems no use at all in buying pretty things, the servants do break them so." "what was it this time?" asked georgie. "it was my favorite bit of sèvres. don't you recollect it,--two lovely little shepherdesses in blue watteaus, holding a flower-basket between them? pierre says his feather duster caught in the open-work edge of the basket." "why do you let him use feather dusters? the feathers are so apt to catch." "my dear, what can i do? each fresh servant has his or her theory as to how things should be cleaned. whatever the theory is, the china goes all the same; and i can't tell them any better. i don't know a thing about dusting." that moment, as if some quick-witted fairy had waved her wand, an idea darted like a flash into georgie's head. she took five minutes to consider it, while mrs. st. john went on:-- "people talk of the hardship of not being able to have things; but i think it's just as hard to have them and not be allowed to keep them. i don't dare to let myself care for a piece of china nowadays, for if i do it's the first thing to go. pierre's a treasure in other respects, but he smashes most dreadfully; and the second man is quite as bad; and marie, upstairs, is worse than either. mr. st. john says i ought to be 'mistress of myself, though china fall;' but i really can't." georgie, who had listened to this without listening, had now made up her mind. "would you like me to dust your things?" she said quietly. "my dear, they _are_ dusted. pierre has got through for this time. he won't break anything more till to-morrow." "oh, i don't mean only to-day; i mean every day. yes, i'm in earnest," she went on in answer to her friend's astonished look. "i was meaning to talk to you about something of this sort presently, and now this has come into my head. you see," smiling bravely, "i find that i have got almost nothing to live upon. there is not even enough to pay my board at such a place as miss sally's. i must do something to earn money; and dusting is one of the few things that i can do particularly well." "but, my dear, i never heard of such a thing," gasped poor mrs. st. john. "surely your friends and connections will arrange something for you." "they can't; they are all dead," replied georgie, sadly. "our family has run out. i've one cousin in china whom i never saw, and one great-aunt down in tennessee who is almost as poor as i am, and that's all except cousin vi." "she's no good, of course; but she's sure to object to your doing anything all the same." "oh yes, of course she objects," said georgie, impatiently. "she would like to tie my hands and make me sit quite still for a year and see if something won't happen; but i can't and won't do it; and, besides, what is there to happen? nothing. she was kind about it, too--" relenting; "she offered to pay my board and share her room with me if i consented; but i would so much rather get to work at once and be independent. do let me do your dusting," coaxingly; "i'll come every morning and put these four rooms in nice order; and you need never let pierre or marie or any one touch the china again, unless you like. i can almost promise that i won't break anything!" "my dear, it would be beautiful for me, but perfectly horrid for you! i quite agree with your cousin for once. it will never do in the world for you to attempt such a thing. people would drop you at once; you would lose your position and all your chance, if it was known that you were doing that kind of work." "but don't you see," cried georgie, kneeling down on the hearth-rug to bring her face nearer to her friend's,--"don't you see that i've _got_ to be dropped any way? not because i have done anything, not because people are unkind, but just from the necessity of things. i have no money to buy dresses to go out and enjoy myself with. i have no money to stay at home on, in fact,--i _must_ do something. and to live like cousin vi on the edge of things, just tolerated by people, and mortified and snubbed, and then have a little crumb of pleasure tossed to me, as one throws the last scrap of cake that one doesn't want to a cat or a dog,--_that_ is what i could not possibly bear. "i like fun and pretty things and luxury as well as other people," she continued, after a little pause. "it isn't that i shouldn't _prefer_ something different. but everybody can't be well off and have things their own way; and since i am one of the rank and file, it seems to me much wiser to give up the things i _can't_ have, out and out, and not try to be two persons at once, a young lady and a working-girl, but put my whole heart into the thing i must be, and do it just as well as i can. don't you see that i am right?" "you poor dear darling!" said mrs. st. john, with tears in her eyes. then her face cleared. "very well," she said briskly, "you _shall_. it will be the greatest comfort in the world to have you take charge of the ornaments. _now_ i can buy as many cups and saucers as i like, and with an easy mind. you must stay and lunch, always, georgie. i'll give you a regular salary, and when the weather's bad i shall keep you to dinner too, and to spend the night. that's settled; and now let us decide what i shall give you. would fifty dollars a month be enough?" "my dear mrs. st. john! fifty! two dollars a week was what i was thinking of." "two dollars! oh, you foolish child! you never could live on that! you don't know anything at all about expenses, georgie." "but i don't mean only to do _your_ dusting. if you are satisfied, i depend on your recommending me to your friends. i could take care of four sets of rooms just as well as of one. there are so many people in sandyport who have beautiful houses and collections of bric-à-brac, that i think there might be as many as that who would care to have me if i didn't cost too much. four places at two dollars each would make eight dollars a week. i could live on that nicely." "i wish you'd count me in as four," said mrs. st. john. "i should see four times as much of you, and it would make me four hundred times happier." but georgie was firm, and before they parted it was arranged that she should begin her new task the next morning, and that her friend should do what she could to find her similar work elsewhere. her plan once made, georgie suffered no grass to grow under her feet. on the way home she bought some cheese-cloth and a stiff little brush with a pointed end for carvings, and before the next day had provided herself with a quantity of large soft dusters and two little phials of alcohol and oil, and had hunted up a small pair of bellows, which experience had shown her were invaluable for blowing the dust out of delicate objects. her first essay was a perfect success. mrs. st. john, quite at a loss how to face the changed situation, gave her a half-troubled welcome; but georgie's business-like methods reassured her. she followed her about and watched her handle each fragile treasure with skilful, delicate fingers till all was in perfect fresh order, and gave a great sigh of admiration and relief when the work was done. "now come and sit down," she said. "how tired you must be!" "not a bit," declared georgie; "i like to dust, strange to say, and i'm not tired at all; i only wish i had another job just like it to do at once. i see it's what i was made for." by the end of the week georgie had another regular engagement, and it became necessary to break the news of her new occupation to cousin vi. i regret to say that the disclosure caused an "unpleasantness," between them. "i would not have believed such a thing possible even with you," declared that lady with angry tears. "the very idea marks you out as a person of low mind. it's enough to make your grandmother talcott rise from her grave! in the name of common decency, couldn't you hunt up something to do, if do you must, except this?" "nothing that i could do so well and so easily, cousin vi." "don't call me cousin vi, i beg! there was no need of doing anything whatever. i asked you to stay here,--you cannot deny that i did." "i don't wish to deny it," said georgie, gently. "it was ever so kind of you, too. don't be so vexed with me, cousin vi. we look at things differently, and i don't suppose either of us can help it; but don't let us quarrel. you're almost the only relative that i have in the world." "quarrel!" cried miss talcott with a shrill laugh,--"quarrel with a girl that goes out dusting! that isn't in my line, i am happy to say. as for being relatives, we are so no longer, and i shall say so to everybody. great heavens! what will people think?" after this outburst it was evident to georgie that it was better that she should leave miss sally's as soon as possible. but where to go? she consulted miss sally. that astute person comprehended the situation in the twinkling of an eye, and was ready with a happy suggestion. "there's my brother john's widder in the lower street," she said. "she's tolerably well off, and hasn't ever taken boarders; but she's a sort of lonesome person, and i shouldn't wonder if i could fix it so she'd feel like taking you, and reasonable too. it's mighty handy about that furniture of yours, for her upstairs rooms ain't got nothing in them to speak of, and of course she wouldn't want to buy. i'll step down after dinner and see about it." miss sally was a power in her family circle, and she knew it. before night she had talked mrs. john scannell into the belief that to take georgie to board at five dollars a week was the thing of all others that she most wanted to do; and before the end of two days all was arranged, and georgie inducted into her new quarters. it was a little low-pitched, old-fashioned house, but it had some pleasant features, and was very neat. a big corner room with a window to the south and another to the sunset was assigned to georgie for her bedroom. the old furniture that she had been used to all her life made it look homelike, and the hair-cloth sofa and the secretary and square mahogany table were welcome additions to the rather scantily furnished sitting-room below, which she shared at will with her hostess. mrs. scannell was a gentle, kindly woman, the soul of cleanliness and propriety, but subject to low spirits; and contact with georgie's bright, hopeful youth was as delightful to her as it was beneficial. she soon became very fond of "my young lady," as she called her, and georgie could not have been better placed as to kindness and comfortableness. a better place than sandyport for just such an experiment as she was making could scarcely have been found. many city people made it their home for the summer; but at all times of the year there was a considerable resident population of wealthy people. luxurious homes were rather the rule than the exception, and there was quite a little rivalry as to elegance of appointment among them. mrs. st. john's enthusiasm and mrs. st. john's recommendation bore fruit, and it was not long before georgie had secured her coveted "four places." two of her employers were comparative strangers; with the fourth, mrs. constant carrington, she had been on terms of some intimacy in the old days, but was not much so now. it _is_ rather difficult to keep up friendship with your "dusting girl," as her cousin vi would have said; mrs. carrington called her "georgie" still, when they met, and was perfectly civil in her manners, but always there was the business relation to stand between them, and georgie felt it. mrs. st. john still tried to retain the pretty pretext that georgie's labors were a sort of joke, a playing with independence; but there was nothing of this pretext with the other three. to them, georgie was simply a useful adjunct to their luxurious lives, as little to be regarded as the florist who filled their flower-boxes or the man who tuned their pianos. these little rubs to self-complacency were not very hard to bear. it was not exactly pleasant, certainly, to pass in at the side entrance where she had once been welcomed at the front door; to feel that her comings and her goings were so insignificant as to be scarcely noticed; now and then, perhaps, to be treated with scant courtesy by an ill-mannered servant. this rarely chanced, however. georgie had a little natural dignity which impressed servants as well as other people, and from her employers she received nothing but the most civil treatment. fashion is not unkindly, and it was still remembered that miss talcott was born a lady, though she worked for a living. there were stormy days and dull days, days when georgie felt tired and discouraged; or, harder still to bear, bright days and gala days, when she saw other girls of her age setting forth to enjoy themselves in ways now closed to her. i will not deny that she suffered at such moments, and wished with all her heart that things could be different. but on the whole she bore herself bravely and well, and found some happiness in her work, together with a great deal of contentment. mrs. st. john added to her difficulties by continual efforts to tempt her to do this and that pleasant thing which georgie felt to be inexpedient. she wanted her favorite to play at young ladyhood in her odd minutes, and defy the little frosts and chills which georgie instinctively knew would be her portion if she should attempt to enter society again on the old terms. if georgie urged that she had no proper dress, the answer was prompt,--"my dear, i am going to give you a dress;" or, "my dear, you can wear my blue, we are just the same height." but georgie stood firm, warded off the shower of gifts which was ready to descend upon her, and loving her friend the more that she was so foolishly kind, would not let herself be persuaded into doing what she knew was unwise. "i can't be two people at once," she persisted. "there's not enough of me for that. you remember what i said that first day, and i mean to stick to it. you are a perfect darling, and just as kind as you can be; but you must just let me go my own way, dear mrs. st. john, and be satisfied to know that it is the comfort of my life to have you love me so much, though i won't go to balls with you." but though georgie would not go to balls or dinner-parties, there were smaller gayeties and pleasures which she did not refuse,--drives and sails now and then, tickets to concerts and lectures, or a long quiet sunday with a "spend the night" to follow. these little breaks in her busy life were wholesome and refreshing, and she saw no reason for denying them to herself. there was nothing morbid in my little knight of labor, which was one reason why she labored so successfully. so the summer came and went, and georgie with it, keeping steadily on at her daily task. all that she found to do she did as thoroughly and as carefully as she knew how. she was of real use, and she knew it. her work had a value. it was not imaginary work, invented as a pretext for giving her help, and the fact supported her self-respect. we are told in one of our lord's most subtly beautiful parables, that to them who make perfect use of their one talent, other talents shall be added also. many faithful workers have proved the meaning and the truth of the parable, and georgie talcott found it now among the rest. with the coming in of the autumn another sphere of activity was suddenly opened to her. it sprang, as good things often do, from a seeming disappointment. she was drawing on her gloves one morning at the close of her labors, when a message was brought by the discreet english butler. "mrs. parish says, miss, will you be so good as to step up to her morning-room before you go." "certainly, frederick." and georgie turned and ran lightly upstairs. mrs. parish was sitting at her writing-table with rather a preoccupied face. "i sent for you, miss talcott, because i wanted to mention that we are going abroad for the winter," she began. "maud isn't well, the doctors recommend the riviera, so we have decided rather suddenly on our plans, and are to sail on the 'scythia' the first of november. we shall be gone a year." "dear me," thought georgie, "there's another of my places lost! it is quite dreadful!" she was conscious of a sharp pang of inward disappointment. "my cousin, mrs. ernest stockton, is to take the place," continued mrs. parish. "her husband has been in the legation at paris, you know, for the last six years, but now they are coming back for good; and when i telegraphed her of our decision, she at once cabled to secure this house. they will land the week after we sail, and i suppose will want to come up at once. now, of course all sorts of things have got to be done to make ready for them; but it's out of the question that i should do them, for what with packing and the children's dressmaking and appointments at the dentist's and all that, my hands are so full that i could not possibly undertake anything else. so i was thinking of you. you have so much head and system, you know, and i could trust you as i could not any stranger, and you know the house so well; and you could get plenty of people to help, so that it need not be burdensome. there will be some things to be packed away, and the whole place to be cleaned, floors waxed and curtains washed, the duchesse dressing-tables taken to pieces and done up and fluted,--all that sort of thing, you know. oh! and there would be an inventory to make, too; i forgot that. then next year i should want it gone over again in the same way,--the articles that are packed taken out and put into place, and so on, that it may look natural when we come home. my idea would be to move the family down to new york on the th, so as to give you a clear fortnight, and just come up for one day before we sail, for a final look. of course i should leave the keys in your charge, and i should want you to take the whole responsibility. now, will you do it, and just tell me what you will ask for it all?" "may i think it over for one night?" said prudent georgie. "i will come to-morrow morning with my answer." she thought it over carefully, and seemed to see that here was a new vista of remunerative labor opened to her, of a more permanent character than mere dusting. so she signified to mrs. parish that she would undertake the job, and having done so, bent her mind to doing it in the best possible manner. she made careful lists, and personally superintended each detail. miss sally recommended trustworthy workpeople, and everything was carried out to the full satisfaction of mrs. parish, who could not say enough in praise of georgie and her methods. "it robs going to europe of half its terrors to have such a person to turn to," she told her friends. "that little miss talcott is really wonderful,--so clear-headed and exact. it's really extraordinary where she learned it all, such a girl as she is. if any of you are going abroad, you'll find her the greatest comfort possible." these commendations bore fruit. people in sandyport were always setting forth for this part of the world or that, and leaving houses behind them. a second job of the same sort was soon urged upon georgie, followed by a third and a fourth. it was profitable work, for she had fifty dollars in each case (a hundred for her double job at the algernon parishes'); so her year's expenses were assured, and she was not sorry when another of her "dusting" families went to florida for the winter. it became the fashion in sandyport to employ "little miss talcott." her capabilities once discovered, people were quick in finding out ways in which to utilize them. mrs. robert brown had the sudden happy thought of getting georgie to arrange the flowers for a ball which she was giving. georgie loved flowers, and had that knack of making them look charming in vases which is the gift of a favored few. the ball decorations were admired and commented upon; people said it was "so clever of mrs. brown," and "so much better than stiff things from a florist's," and presently half a dozen other ladies wanted the same thing done for them. fashion and sheep always follow any leader who is venturesome enough to try a new fence. later, mrs. horace brown, with her cards out for a great lawn-party, had the misfortune to sprain her ankle. in this emergency she bethought herself of georgie, who thereupon proved so "invaluable" as a _dea ex machina_ behind the scenes, that thenceforward mrs. brown never felt that she could give any sort of entertainment without her help. engagements thickened, and georgie's hands became so full that she laughingly threatened to "take a partner." "that's just what i always wanted you to do," said mrs. st. john,--"a real nice one, with heaps of money, who would take you about everywhere, and give you a good time." "oh, that's not at all the sort i want," protested georgie, laughing and blushing. "i mean a real business partner, a fellow-sweeperess and house-arranger and ball-supper-manageress!" "wretched girl, how horribly practical you are! i wish i could see you discontented and sentimental just for once!" "heaven forbid! that _would_ be a pretty state of things! now good-by. i have about half a ton of roses to arrange for mrs. lauriston." "oh,--for her dance! georgie," coaxingly, "why not go for once with me? come, just this once. there's that white dress of mine from _pingat_, with the _point de venie_ sleeves, that would exactly fit you." "nonsense!" replied georgie, briefly. she kissed her friend and hurried away. "i declare," soliloquized mrs. st. john, looking after her, "i could find it in my heart to _advertise_ for some one to come and rescue georgie talcott from all this hard work! what nice old times those were when you had only to get up a tournament and blow a trumpet or two, and have true knights flock in from all points of the compass in aid of distressed damsels! i wish such things were in fashion now; i would buy a trumpet this very day, i vow, and have a tournament next week." georgie's true knight, as it happened, was to come from a quarter little suspected by mrs. st. john. for the spare afternoons of this second winter georgie had reserved rather a large piece of work, which had the advantage that it could be taken up at will and laid down when convenient. this was the cataloguing of a valuable library belonging to mr. constant carrington. that gentleman had observed georgie rather closely as she went about her various avocations, and had formed so high an opinion of what he was pleased to term her "executive ability," that he made a high bid for her services in preference to those of any one else. [illustration: recognizing an old friend, she jumped up, exclaiming, "why bob--mr. curtis--how do you do?"--_page ._] she was sitting in this library one rainy day in january, beside a big packing-case, with a long row of books on the table, which she was dusting, classifying, and noting on the list in her lap, when the door opened and a tall young man came in. georgie glanced at him vaguely, as at a stranger; then recognizing an old friend, she jumped up, exclaiming, "why bob--mr. curtis,--how do you do? i had no idea that you were here." bob curtis looked bewildered. he had reached sandyport only that morning. no one had chanced to mention georgie or the change in her fortunes, and for a moment he failed to recognize in the white-aproned, dusty-fingered vision before him the girl whom he had known so well five years previously. "it is?--why it _is_," he exclaimed. "miss georgie, how delighted i am to see you! i was coming down to call as soon as i could find out where you were. my aunt said nothing about your being in the house." "very likely she did not know. i am in and out so often here that i do not always see mrs. carrington." "indeed!" bob looked more puzzled than ever. he had not remembered that there was any such close intimacy in the old days between the two families. "i can't shake hands, i am too dusty," went on georgie. "but i am very glad indeed to see you again." she too was taking mental notes, and observing that her former friend had lost somewhat of the gloss and brilliance of his boyish days; that his coat was not of the last cut; and that his expression was spiritless, not to say discontented. "poor fellow!" she thought. "what on earth does it all mean?" meditated bob on his part. "these books only came yesterday," said georgie, indicating the big box with a wave of the hand. "i have had to dust them all; and i find that italian dust sticks just as the american variety does, and makes the fingers just as black." a little laugh. "what _are_ you doing, if i may be so bold as to ask?" "cataloguing your uncle's library. he has been buying quantities of books for the last two years, as perhaps you know. he has a man in germany and another in paris and another in london, who purchase for him, and the boxes are coming over almost every week now. a great case full of the english ones arrived last saturday,--such beauties! look at that ruskin behind you. it is the first edition, with all the plates, worth its weight in gold." "it's awfully good of you to take so much trouble, i'm sure," remarked mr. curtis politely, still with the same mystified look. "not at all," replied georgie, coolly. "it's all in my line of business, you know. mr. carrington is to give me a hundred dollars for the job; which is excellent pay, because i can take my own time for doing it, and work at odd moments." her interlocutor looked more perplexed than ever. a distinct embarrassment became visible in his manner at the words "job" and "pay." "certainly," he said. then coloring a little he frankly went on, "i don't understand a bit. would you mind telling me what it all means?" "oh, you haven't happened to hear of my 'befalments,' as miss sally scannell would call them." "i did hear of your mother's death," said bob, gently, "and i was truly sorry. she was so kind to me always in the old days." "she was kind to everybody. i am glad you were sorry," said georgie, bright tears in the eyes which she turned with a grateful look on bob. "well, that was the beginning of it all." there was another pause, during which bob pulled his moustache nervously! then he drew a chair to the table and sat down. "can you talk while you're working?" he asked. "and mayn't i help? it seems as though i might at least lift those books out for you. now, if you don't mind, if it isn't painful, won't you tell me what has happened to you, for i see that something _has_ happened." "a great deal has happened, but it isn't painful to tell about it. things _were_ puzzling at first, but they have turned out wonderfully; and i'm rather proud of the way they have gone." so, little by little, with occasional interruptions for lifting out books and jotting down titles, she told her story, won from point to point by the eager interest which her companion showed in the narrative. when she had finished, he brought his hand down heavily on the table. "i'll tell you what," he exclaimed with vigorous emphasis, "it's most extraordinary that a girl should do as you have done. you're an absolute little _brick_,--if you'll excuse the phrase. but it makes a fellow--it makes _me_ more ashamed of myself than i've often been in my life before." "but why,--why should you be ashamed?" "oh, i've been having hard times too," explained bob, gloomily. "but i haven't been so plucky as you. i've minded them more." georgie knew vaguely something of these "hard times." in the "old days," five years before, when she was seventeen and he a harvard junior of twenty, spending a long vacation with his uncle, and when they had rowed and danced and played tennis together so constantly as to set people to wondering if anything "serious" was likely to arise from the intimacy, the world with all its opportunities and pleasures seemed open to the heir of the curtis family. bob's father was rich, the family influential, there seemed nothing that he might not command at will. then all was changed suddenly; a great financial panic swept away the family fortunes in a few weeks. mr. curtis died insolvent, and robert was called on to give up many half-formed wishes and ambitions, and face the stern realities. what little could be saved from the wreck made a scanty subsistence for his mother and sisters; he must support himself. for more than two years he had been filling a subordinate position in a large manufacturing business. his friends considered him in luck to secure such a place; and he was fain to agree with them, but the acknowledgment did not make him exactly happy in it, notwithstanding. discipline can hardly be agreeable. bob curtis had been a little spoiled by prosperity; and though he did his work fairly well, there was always a bitterness at heart, and a certain tinge of false shame at having it to do at all. he worked because he must, he told himself, not because he liked or ever should like it. all the family traditions were opposed to work. then he had the natural confidence of a very young man in his own powers, and it was not pleasant to be made to feel at every turn that he was raw, inexperienced, not particularly valuable to anybody, and that no one especially looked up to or admired him. he scorned himself for minding such things; but all the same he did mind them, and the frank, kindly young fellow was in danger of becoming soured and cynical in his lonely and uncongenial surroundings. it was just at this point that good fortune brought him into contact with georgie talcott, and it was like the lifting of a veil from before his eyes. he recollected her such a pretty, care-free creature, petted and adored by her mother, every day filled with pleasant things, not a worry or cloud allowed to shadow the bright succession of her amusements; and here she sat telling him of a fight with necessity compared with which his seemed like child's play, and out of which she had come victorious. he was struck, too, with the total absence of embarrassment and false shame in the telling. work, in georgie's mind, was evidently a thing to be proud of and thankful over, not something to be practised shyly, and alluded to with bated breath. the contrast between his and her way of looking at the thing struck him sharply. it did not take long for georgie to arrive at the facts in bob's case. confidence begets confidence; and in another day or two, won by her bright sympathy, he gradually made a clean breast of his troubles. somehow they did not seem so great after they were told. georgie's sympathy was not of a weakening sort, and her questions and comments seemed to clear things to his mind, and set them in right relations to each other. "i don't think that i pity you much," she told him one day. "your mother and the girls, yes, because they are women and not used to it, and it always _is_ harder for girls--" "see here, you're a girl yourself," put in bob. "no--i'm a business person. don't interrupt. what i was going to say was, that i think it's _lovely_ for a young man to have to work! we are all lazy by nature; we need to be shaken up and compelled to do our best. you will be ten times as much of a person in the end as if you had always had your own way." "do you really think that? but what's the use of talking? i may stick where i am for years, and never do more than just make a living." "i wouldn't!" said georgie, throwing back her pretty head with an air of decision. "i should scorn to 'stick' if i were a man! and i don't believe you will either. if you once go into it heartily and put your will into it, you're sure to succeed. i always considered you clever, you know. you'll go up--up--as sure as, as sure as _dust_,--that's the thing of all the world that's most certain to rise, i think." "'overmastered with a clod of valiant marl,'" muttered robert below his breath; then aloud, "well, if that's the view you take of it, i'll do my best to prove you right. it's worth a good deal to know that there is somebody who expects something of me." "i expect everything of you," said georgie confidently. and bob went back to his post at the end of the fortnight infinitely cheered and heartened. "bless her brave little heart!" he said to himself. "i won't disappoint her if i can help it; or, if i must, i'll know the reason why." it is curious, and perhaps a little humiliating, to realize how much our lives are affected by what may be called accident. a touch here or there, a little pull up or down to set us going, often determines the direction in which we go, and direction means all. robert curtis in after times always dated the beginning of his fortunes from the day when he walked into his uncle's library and found georgie talcott cataloguing books. "it set me to making a man of myself," he used to say. georgie did not see him for more than a year after his departure, but he wrote twice to say that he had taken her advice and it had "worked," and he had "got a rise." the truth was that the boy had an undeveloped capacity for affairs, inherited from the able old grandfather, who laid the foundations of the fortune which bob's father muddled away. when once will and energy were roused and brought into play, this hereditary bent asserted itself. bob became valuable to his employers, and like georgie's "dust," began to go up in the business scale. georgie had just successfully re-established the algernon parishes, who arrived five months later than was expected, in their home, when bob came up for a second visit to his uncle. this time he had three weeks' leave, and it was just before he went back that he proposed the formation of what he was pleased to call "a labor union." "you see i'm a working man now just as you are a working woman," he explained. "it's our plain duty to co-operate. you shall be grand master--or rather mistress--and i'll be some sort of a subordinate,--a walking delegate, perhaps." "indeed, you shall be nothing of the sort. walking delegates are particularly idle people, i've always heard. they just go about ordering other folks to stop work and do nothing." "then i won't be one. i'll be grand master's mate." "there's no such office in labor unions. if we have one at all, you must have the first place in it." "what is that position? please describe it in full. whatever happens, i won't strike." "oh," said georgie, with the prettiest blush in the world, "the position is too intricate for explanation; we won't describe it." "but will you join the union?" "i thought we had joined already,--both of us." "now, georgie, dearest, i'm in earnest. thanks to you, i know what work means and how good it is. and now i want my reward, which is to work beside you always as long as i live. don't turn away your head, but tell me that i may." i cannot tell you exactly what was georgie's answer, for this conversation took place on the beach, and just then they sat down on the edge of a boat and began to talk in such low tones that no one could overhear; but as they sat a long time and she went home leaning contentedly on bob's arm, i presume she answered as he wished. he went back to his work soon afterward, and has made his way up very fast since. next spring the firm with which he is connected propose to send him to chicago to start a new branch of their business there. he is to have a good salary and a share of the profits, and it is understood that georgie will go with him. she has kept on steadily at her various avocations, has made herself so increasingly useful that all sandyport wonders what it shall do without her when she goes away, and has laid up what miss sally calls "a tidy bit of money" toward the furnishing of the home which she and bob hope to have before long. mrs. st. john has many plans in mind for the wedding; and though georgie laughingly protests that she means to be married in a white apron, with a wreath of "dusty miller" round her head, i dare say she will give in when the time comes, and consent to let her little occasion be made pretty. even a girl who works likes to have her marriage day a bright one. cousin vi, for her part, is dimly reaching out toward a reconciliation. for, be it known, work which brings success, and is proved to have a solid money value of its own, loses in the estimation of the fastidious its degrading qualities, and is spoken of by the more euphonious title of "good fortune." it is only work which doesn't succeed, which remains forever disrespectable. i think i may venture to predict that the time will come when cousin vi will condone all georgie's wrong-doings, and extend, not the olive-branch only, but both hands, to "the curtises," that is if they turn out as prosperous as their friends predict and expect them to be. but whatever fate may have in store for my dear little georgie and her chosen co-worker, of one thing i am sure,--that, fare as they may with worldly fortune, they will never be content, having tasted of the salt of work, to feed again on the honey-bread of idleness, or become drones in the working-hive, but will persevere to the end in the principles and practices of what in the best sense of the word may be called their labor union. snowy peter. the weather was very cold, though it was not christmas yet, and to the great delight of the kane children, december had brought an early and heavy fall of snow. older people were sorry. they grieved for the swift vanishing of the lovely indian summer, for the blighting of the last flowers, chrysanthemums, snow-berries, bitter-sweet, and for the red leaves, so pretty but a few days since, which were now blown about and battered by the strong wind. but the children wasted no sympathy on either leaves or berries. a snow-storm seemed to them just then better than anything that ever grew on bush or tree, and they revelled in it all the long afternoon without a thought of what it had cost the world. it was a deep snow. it lay over the lawn six inches on a level; in the hollow by the fence the drifts were at least two feet deep. there was no lack of building material therefore when reggie proposed that they should all go to work and make a fort. such a wonderful fort as it turned out to be! it had walls and bastions and holes for cannon. it had cannon too, all made of snow. it had a gateway, just like a real fort, and a flag-staff and a flag. the staff was a tall slender column of snow, and they poured water over it, and it froze and became a long pole of glittering ice. the flag had a swallow-tail and was icy too. reggie had been in new london and newport the last summer, he had seen real fortifications and knew how they should look. under his direction the little ones built a _glacis_. some of you will know what that is,--the steep slippery grass slope which lies beneath the fort walls and is so hard to climb. this _glacis_ was harder yet--snow is better than grass for defensive purposes--if only it would last. "now let's make the soldiers," shouted little paul as the last shovel-full of snow was spread on the _glacis_ and smoothed down. "oh, paul, we can't, there won't be time," said elma, the biggest girl, glancing apprehensively at the sun, which was nearing the edge of the sky. "it must be five o'clock, and nurse will call us almost right away." "oh, bother! i wish the days weren't so short," said paul discontentedly. "let's make one man, any way; just for a sentry, you know. there ought to be a sentry to take care of the fort. can't we, elma?" "yes--only we must hurry." the small crew precipitated itself on the drift. none of them were cold, for exercise had warmed their blood. the little ones gathered great snowballs and rolled them up to the fort, while the big ones shaped and moulded. in a wonderfully short time the "man" was completed,--eyes, nose, and all, and the gun in his hand. a pipe was put into his mouth, a cocked-hat on his head. elma curled his hair a little. susan sunflower, as the round-faced younger girl was called for fun, patted and smoothed his cheeks and forehead with her warm little hands. they made boots for him, and a coat with buttons on the tail-pocket; he was a beautiful man indeed! just as the last touch was given, a window opened and nurse's head appeared,--the very thing the children had been dreading. "come, children, come in to supper," she called out across the snow. "it's nearly half-past five. you ought to have come in half an hour ago. miss susan, stop working in that snow, nasty cold stuff; you'll catch your death. master reggie, make the little boys hurry, please." there was never any appeal from nurse freeman's decisions, least of all now when papa and mamma were both away, and she ruled the house as its undisputed autocrat. even reggie, on the verge of twelve, dare not disobey her. she was english and a martinet, and had been in charge of the children all their lives; but she was kind as well as strict, and they loved her. reluctantly the little troop prepared to go. they picked up the shovels and baskets, for nurse freeman was very particular about fetching things in and putting them in their places. they took a last regretful look at their fort. paul climbed the wall for one more jump down. little harry indulged in a final slide across the _glacis_. susan sunflower stroked the sentinel's hand. "good-night, snowy peter!" they cried in chorus, for that was the name they had agreed upon for their soldier. then they ran across the lawn in a long skurrying line like a covey of birds, there was a scraping of feet on the porch, the side-door closed with a bang, and they were gone. left to himself, snowy peter stood still in his place beside the gateway of the fortification. snowmen usually do stand still, at least till the time comes for them to melt and run away, so there was nothing strange in that. what _was_ singular was that about an hour after the children had left him, when dusk had closed in over the house and the leafless trees, and "fort kane" had grown a vague dim shape, he slowly turned his head! it was as though the fingers of little susan had communicated something of their warmth and fulness of life to the poor senseless figure while working over it, and this influence was beginning to take effect. he turned his head and looked in the direction of the house. all was dark except for the hall lamp below, which shone through the glass panes above the door, and for two windows in the second story out of which streamed a strong yellow light. these were the windows of the nursery, where, at that moment, the children were eating their supper. snowy peter remained for a time in motionless silence looking at the window. then his body slowly began to turn, following the movement of its head. he lifted one stiff ill-shaped foot and moved a step forward. then he lifted the other and took another step. his left arm dangled uselessly; the right hand held out the gun which paul had made, and which was of the most curious shape. the tracks which he left in the snow as he crossed the lawn resembled the odd, waddling tracks of a flat-footed elephant as much as anything else. it took him a long, long time to cross the space over which the light feet of the children had run in two minutes. each step seemed to cost him a mighty effort. the right leg would quiver for a moment, then wave wildly to and fro, then with a sort of galvanic jerk project itself, and the whole body, with a pitch and a lurch, would plunge forward heavily, till brought up again in an upright position by the advanced leg. after that the left leg would take its turn, and the process be repeated. there was no spring, no supple play to the joints; in fact, snowy peter had no joints. his young creators had left them out while constructing him. at last he reached the wall of the house, and stood beneath the windows where the yellow light was burning. this had been the goal of his desires; but, alas, now that he had attained the coveted position he could not look in at the windows--he was far too short. desperation lent him energy. a stout lattice was nailed against the house, up which in summer a flowering clematis twined and clustered. seizing this, snowy peter began to climb! up one bar after another he slowly and painfully went, lifting his heavy feet and clinging tightly with his poor, stiff hands. his gun-stock snapped in the middle, his cocked-hat sustained many contusions, even his nose had more than one hard knock. but he had the heart of a hero, whom neither danger, nor difficulty, nor personal inconvenience can deter, and at last his head was on a level with the nursery window-sill. it was a pleasant sight that met his eyes. no one had slept in the nursery since paul had grown big enough for a bed of his own; and though it kept its own name, it was in reality only a big, cheerful upstairs sitting-room, where lessons could be studied, meals taken, and nurse freeman sit and do her mending and be on hand always for any one who wanted her. now that mr. and mrs. kane were absent, the downstairs rooms looked vacant and dreary, and the children spent all their evenings in the nursery from preference. a large fire burned briskly in the ample grate. a kettle hissed and bubbled on the hob; on the round table where the lamp stood, was a row of bright little tin basins just emptied of the smoking-hot bread-and-milk which was the usual nursery supper. nurse was cutting slices from a big brown loaf and buttering them with nice yellow butter. there was also some gingerbread, and by way of special and particular treat, a pot of strawberry-jam, to which paul at that moment was paying attention. he had scooped out such an enormous spoonful as to attract the notice of the whole party; and just as snowy peter raised his white staring eyes above the sill, reggie called out, "hullo! i say! leave a little of that for somebody else, will you?" "piggy-wiggy," remarked harry, indignantly; "and it's your second help too!" "master paul, i'm surprised at you," observed nurse freeman severely, taking the big spoonful away from him. "there, that's quite enough," and she put half the quantity on the edge of his plate and gave the other half to susan. "that's not fair," remonstrated paul, "when i've been working so hard, and it's so cold, and when i like jam so, and when it's so awfully good beside." "jam! what is jam?" thought snowy peter. he pressed his cold nose closer to the glass. "we all worked hard, paul," said elma, "and we all like jam as much as you do. may i have some more, nursey?" "i wonder how poor snowy peter feels all alone out there in the garden," said susan sunflower. "he must be very cold, poor fellow!" "ho, he don't mind it!" declared paul with his mouth full of bread-and-jam. "oh, yes, i do--i mind it very much," murmured snowy peter to himself; but he had no voice with which to make an outward noise. "won't you come out and see him to-morrow, nursey?" went on susan. "he's the best man we ever made. he's quite beautiful. he's got a pipe and a hat and curly hair and buttons on his coat--i'm sure you'll like him." snowy peter reared himself straighter on the lattice. he was proud to hear himself thus commended. "if he could only talk and walk, he'd be just as good as a live person, really he would, nursey," said elma. "wouldn't it be fun if he could! we'd bring him in to tea and he'd sit by the fire and warm his hands, and it would be such fun." "he'd melt fast enough in this warm room," observed reggie, while nurse freeman added: "that's nonsense, miss elma. how could a man like that walk? and i don't want no nasty snow images in _my_ nursery, melting and slopping up the carpet." snowy peter listened to this conversation with a painful feeling at his heart. he felt lonely and forlorn. no one really liked him. to the children he was only a thing to be played with and joked about. nurse freeman called him a "nasty snow image." but though he was hurt and troubled in his spirit, the warm bright nursery, the sound of laughter and human voices, even the fire, that foe most fatal of all to things made of snow, had an irresistible attraction for him. he could not bear the idea of returning to his cold post of duty beside the lonely fort, and under the wintry midnight sky. so he still clung to the lattice and looked in at the window with his unwinking eyes; and a great longing to be inside, and to sit down by the cheerful fire and be treated with kindness, took possession of him. but what is the use of such ambitions to a snow-man? long, long he clung to the lattice and lingered and looked in. he saw the two little ones when first the sand-man began to drop his grains into their eyes, and noticed how they struggled against the sleepy influence, and tried to keep awake. he saw nurse freeman carry them off, and presently fetch them back in their flannel nightgowns to say their prayers beside the fire. snowy peter did not know what it meant as they knelt with their heads in nursey's lap, and their pink toes curled up in the glow of the heat, but it was a pretty sight to see, and he liked it. after they were taken away for the second time, he watched elma as she studied her geography lesson for the morrow, while reggie did sums on his slate, and paul played at checkers with susan sunflower. snowy peter thought he should like to do sums, and he was sure it would be nice to play checkers, and jump squares and chuckle and finally beat, as paul did. alas, checkers are not for snow-men! paul went to bed when the game was ended, and susan, and a little later the other two followed. then nurse freeman raked out the fire and put ashes on top, and blew the lights out and went away herself, leaving the nursery dark and silent except for a dim glow from the ash-smothered grate and the low ticking of the clock. some time after she departed, when the lights in the other windows had all been extinguished and the house was as dark inside as the night was outside, snowy peter raised his hand and pushed gently at the sash. it was not fastened, and it opened easily and without much noise. then a heavy leg was thrown over the sill, and stiffly and painfully the snow soldier climbed into the room. he wanted to feel what it was like to sit in a chair beside a table as human beings sit, and he was extremely curious about the fire. alas, he could not sit! he was made to stand but not to bend. when he tried to seat himself his body lay in a long inclined plane, with the shoulder-blades resting on the back of the chair, and the legs sticking out straight before him,--an attitude which was not at all comfortable. the chair creaked beneath him and tipped dangerously. it was with difficulty that he got again into his natural position, and he trembled with fear in every limb. it had been a narrow escape. "a fine thing it would have been if i had fallen over and not been able to get on my feet again," he thought. "how that terrible old woman would have swept me up in the morning!" then, cautiously and timidly, he put his finger into the nearly empty jam-pot, rubbed it round till a little of the sweet, sticky juice adhered to it, and raised it to his lips. it had no taste to him. jam was a human joy in which he could not share, and he heaved a deep sigh. drops began to stand on his forehead. though there was so little fire left, the room was much warmer than the outer air, and snowy peter had begun to melt. a great and sudden fear took possession of him. as fast as his heavy limbs would allow, he hastened to the window. it was a great deal harder to go down the lattice than to climb up it, and twice he almost lost his footing. but at last he stood safely on the ground. the window he left open; he had no strength left for extra exertion. with increasing difficulty he stumbled across the lawn to his old position beside the gateway of the fort. a sense of duty had sustained him thus far, for a sentry must be found at his post; but now that he was there, all power seemed to desert his limbs. little susan's warm fingers had perhaps put just so much life into him, and no more, as would enable him to do what he had done, as a clock can run but its appointed course of hours and must then stop. his head turned no longer in the direction of the house. his eyes looked immovably forward. the straight stiff hand held out the broken gun. two o'clock sounded from the church steeple, three, four. the earliest dawn crept slowly into the sky. it broadened to a soft pink flush, a sudden wind rose and stirred, and as if quickened by its impulse up came the yellow sun. smoke began to curl from the house chimneys, doors opened, voices sounded, but still snowy peter did not move. "why, what is this?" cried nurse freeman, hurrying into the nursery from her bedroom, which was near. "how comes this window to be open? i left the fire covered up a purpose, that my dears might have a warm room to breakfast in. it's as cold as a barn. it must be that careless maria. she's no head and no thoughtfulness, that girl." maria denied the accusation, but nurse was not convinced. "windows did not open without hands," she justly observed. but what hands opened this particular window nurse freeman never, never knew! presently another phenomenon claimed her attention. there on the carpet, close to the table where the jam-pot stood, was a large slop of water. it marked the spot where the snow-man had begun to melt the night before. "it's the snow the children brought in on their boots," suggested maria. "boots!" cried nurse freeman incredulously. "boots! when i changed them myself and put on their warm slippers!" she shook her head portentously as she wiped up the slop. "there's something _on_accountable in it all," she said. so there was, but it was a great deal more unaccountable than nurse freeman suspected. when the children ran out, after lessons, to play in their fort, their time for wonderment came. how oddly snowy peter looked,--not at all as he did the day before. his figure had somehow grown rubbed and shabby. the buttons were gone from his coat-tails. the gun they had taken such pains with was broken in two. _where was the other half?_" "what's that on his finger?" demanded elma. "it looks as if it were bleeding." it was the juice of the strawberry-jam! paul first tasted delicately with the tip of his tongue, then he boldly bit the finger off and swallowed it. "why, what made you do that?" asked the others. "jam!" was the succinct reply. "jam! impossible. how could our snow-man get at any jam? it couldn't be that." "tastes like it, any way," remarked paul. "i can't think what has happened to spoil him so," said elma, plaintively. "do you think a loose horse can have got into the yard during the night? see how the snow is trampled down!" "hallo, look here!" shouted reggie. "this is the queerest thing yet. there's the other half the gun sticking out half-way up the clematis frame!" "it must have been a horse," said elma, who having once settled on the idea found it hard to give it up. "it couldn't be anything else." "oh, yes, it could. it was no horse. it was me," said snowy peter in the depths of his being, where a little warmth still lingered. "he's very ugly now, i think; see how he's melted all along his shoulder, and his hair has got out of curl, and his nose is awful," pronounced susan sunflower. "let's pull him to pieces and make a nicer man." "oh, oh!" groaned snowy peter, with a final effort of consciousness. his inward sufferings did not affect his features in the least, and no one suspected that he was feeling anything. paul knocked the pipe out of his mouth with a snow-ball. harry, with a great push, rolled him over. the crisp snow parted and flew, the children hurrahed; in three minutes he was a shapeless mass, and nobody ever knew or guessed how for a few brief hours he had lived the life of a human being, been agitated by hope and moved by desire. so ended snowy peter; and his sole mourner was little susan, who remarked, "after all, he _was_ nice before he got spoiled, and i wish nursey had seen him." the do something society. clatter, clatter, went a sewing-machine in an upstairs room, as the busy mamma of the newcombe children bent over it, guiding the long breadths beneath the clicking needle, her eyes fixed on its glancing point, but her thoughts very far away, after the fashion of mammas who work on sewing-machines. the slam of a door, and the sound of quick feet in the entry below, arrested her attention. "that is catherine, of course," she said to herself. "none of the other children bang the door in just that particular way." the top of a rapidly ascending red hat, with a pigtail of fair hair hanging beneath it, became visible, as mrs. newcombe glanced across to the staircase. it _was_ catherine. another moment, and she burst into the room. "mamma, mamma, where are you? oh, mamma, we girls have invented a society, and we are all going to belong to it." "who is 'all,' and what sort of a society is it?" demanded mrs. newcombe, by no means suspending her machine work. "all--we six, i mean--frances and the vaughns, and the 'tittering twins,' and me. we haven't any name for the society yet, but we want to do something." "what sort of a something?" "oh, i don't know. all sorts of somethings; but, first of all--you know how sick minnie banister is, don't you, mamma?" "yes." "well, the society is really gotten up for her. we want to go every saturday, and take her presents. surprises, you know, so that she can be sort of expecting us all the week and looking forward. don't you think that is a good plan, mamma?" "very good; but what kind of presents were you thinking of?" "i don't know exactly; we haven't thought about that yet. something pretty. you'll give us some money to buy them with, won't you, mamma?" "no, dear, i can't do that." "but, mamma!" "listen, catherine, and don't pucker your forehead so. it's a bad habit which you have taken up lately, and i want you to break yourself of it. i cannot give you money to buy presents; not that i do not love minnie, or am not sorry for her, but i cannot afford it. papa has his own boys and girls to feed and clothe and educate. he cannot spare money for things that are not necessary, even when they are kind pleasant things like this plan of yours." "but, mamma--little bits of things! it wouldn't take much!" "you naturally feel that there is no bottom to papa's pocket, catherine; that he has only to put his hand in and take out what he likes; but, my dear, that isn't true. papa cannot do it any more than you can." "then we can't have our society," cried catherine. her lip trembled, and her face flushed pink with the sense of disappointment. "i didn't say that," said her mother, smiling. "have the society by all means, and carry out your plans. that can be done without money." "but, mamma, how can it? what do you mean?" "the how i must leave to you. set your wits to work, and you will find out. there are plenty of ways in which to please sick people besides buying them things. notice carefully when you are there; ask mrs. banister; use your eyes. things will suggest themselves. what sick people enjoy most are little surprises to vary their dull days, and the sense that some one is loving and thinking about them. small unexpected pleasures count for more than their worth with them. now, dear, run away. consult with the others, and when you decide what you want to do, come to me, and i will do what i can to help you in ways that do not cost money." catherine looked more hopeful, though not altogether convinced. "i'll see what they say," she remarked thoughtfully. then, after lingering a moment, as if in hopes of something more, she ran downstairs again. she found the members of the future society looking rather crestfallen. they had all rushed home to propound their plan, and each of their mothers in turn had raised pretty much the same objections to it which mrs. newcombe had raised, and had not tempered their denials with any fresh suggestions. catherine's report had, therefore, rather the effect of raising their spirits. "i'm--not--sure," said frances brooks, "but it would be more fun to do it that way than the other. don't you know how much nicer it always is to make christmas presents than to buy them? and i thought of something while you were talking that might do for the first saturday surprise." "have you really? what?" "it came into my head because the other day when mary and i were there, minnie lost her handkerchief. it had slipped under the mattress or somewhere, and she worried about not finding it, and mrs. banister was a good while in getting another, and i was wondering if it wouldn't be nice to make some sort of a little case, which could lie on the bed beside her, and hold it." "out of birch bark," suggested mary vaughn. "splendid! we could work little blue forget-me-nots on it in crewels," suggested sue hooper. "yes, and i have a bit of blue silk that would be just the thing for the lining," put in ethel hooper, the second "tittering twin," sue being the first. "sister had it left over from a sofa-pillow, so she gave it to me. it is quite light, and will match the forget-me-nots." "now, isn't that delightful!" cried catherine. "here's our first surprise all settled without any trouble at all. i know where we can get the bark,--from one of those big birches in mr. swayne's woods, and mother'll give us some orris-root for a _sachet_, i know. she has some that's particularly nice. it came from philadelphia." under these promising auspices the "do something society," for that was the name resolved upon, came into existence. many hands made light work of the little handkerchief-case. all the members went together to get the birch bark, which in itself was good fun. mary vaughn cut out the case. amy, who had taken a set of lessons in kensington stitch, worked the starry zigzag pattern, which did duty for forget-me-nots, upon it. susy hooper, who was the best needlewoman of them all, lined it. catherine made the _sachet_. ethel, as youngest, was allowed to fasten it into the case with a tiny blue bow, and they took turns in carrying it, as they walked toward minnie's house saturday morning. minnie had been looking forward to saturday all the week. it was the only day when these special friends had time to come for a good long stay with her. on other days they "ran in;" but what with schools and music-lessons, and daily walks and short winter afternoons, they always had to run out again long before she was ready to have them go. she had been watching the clock ever since she woke, in hopes that they would come early; nor was she disappointed, for by half-past ten the bell rang, and steps and voices were heard coming upstairs. minnie raised herself, and held out her hands. "o girls, how lovely! you've all come together," she said. "i've been wondering all the week if you would." "you darling, how nice it is to see you! are you any better to-day?" asked catherine. then, after they had all kissed her, amy laid on the counterpane the handkerchief-case pinned up in thin white paper. "there's something for you," cried the society, as with one voice. it took a good while for minnie to open the parcel, for her fingers were weak, but she would not let any one help her. when the pretty birch-bark case was revealed, she was even more pleased than her friends had hoped she would be. "how dear you were to make it for me!" she kept repeating. "i shall never lose my handkerchiefs now. and i shall look at it when you are not here, and it will give me the feeling that you are making me a visit." then they explained the new society to her and asked her to join, with the understanding that she was not to be an "active member" till she was quite well again, and minnie agreed, and became on the spot number seven of the do somethings. what they did not explain was their plan for the saturdays, because mrs. newcombe had dropped this word of wisdom into their counsels, that sick people enjoy a little pleasure which comes unexpectedly, much more than a larger one which they lie and think about till they are tired of the idea of it. catherine had to bite her nimble tongue more than once to hold the secret in, but the eyes of the others held her in check, and she remembered in time. and while they chattered and laughed, mary vaughn kept her eyes open as mrs. newcombe had advised, and with such good effect that, as the society trooped out on to the sidewalk, she was ready to say, "girls, i have thought of something for next time." "and so have i," added frances. "not really! what fun! tell us what yours is." "a wall-basket full of dried leaves and things to fill up that bare space of wall opposite minnie's bed. it needn't cost anything, for i have got one of those big japanese cuffs made of straw which will do for the basket, and there are thousands of leaves to be had for the picking." "what a good idea that is!" said amy vaughn. "we will make it lovely, and it will be something bright for minnie to look at. we'll do it. but what was your idea, mary?" "mine was a sand-bag. didn't you hear minnie say, 'mamma, the sheet is quite wet just where my foot comes;' and mrs. banister came in a hurry and took away the hot-water bag, and said there was something wrong with the screw, and it was always leaking? my aunt, who is an invalid, uses a bag of sand instead. it is made very hot in the oven and slipped into a little cover, and it keeps warm longer than hot water does, she says. don't you think we might make one for minnie?" "it's the best idea yet," said catherine. "and we will have it for next saturday because it's something useful that she really wants, and that will give us plenty of time to dry the leaves for the saturday after." the sand-bag, with its little slip cover of red canton flannel, proved a remarkable success. it was the comfort of her life, minnie declared; but the joy of her life was the wall-basket which followed on the next saturday, and which made a beautiful spot of brightness on the bare wall. ethel hooper, who had a natural instinct for color and effect, arranged it. it held branches of deep red and vivid yellow leaves, with sprays of orange and green sumach, deep russet oak and trails of flaming blackberry-vine, amid which rose a few velvet-brown cat-tails and fluffy milk-weed pods, supporting in their midst a tiny bird's nest poised in a leafless twig. minnie was never tired of looking at it. she said it was as good as taking a walk in the woods to see it. the gay color refreshed her eyes, and cheered many a dull moment when she was alone and did not feel like reading; and, altogether, the wall-basket proved one of the most successful of the achievements of the do something society that winter. i have not time to tell you of all the many other things they did. one saturday the gift was a home-made sponge-cake. another time it was some particularly nice molasses candy, pulled very white, and braided and twirled into m's and b's. a pillow stuffed with balsam-fir was another of the presents. on christmas eve they carried her the tiniest little fir-tree ever seen, a mere baby of a fir, planted in a flower-pot, hung with six mandarin oranges, and lighted with wax matches which burned just long enough to be admired and no longer. later there was a comical valentine, and on minnie's birthday a pretty card, designed by catherine, who had a taste for drawing. one melancholy saturday, when minnie was too ill to see them, the members all left their cards in a little basket. another time it was the cards of all their pet cats. and while they thus labored to make the hard months less hard for their friend, their own souls were growing, keeping pace with their growing bodies, as souls do which are properly exercised in deeds of kindliness and unselfish love. so that when spring came, bringing roses back to minnie's pale cheeks, and strength to her feeble limbs, and she was able to take her place among the rest and be a "do something" too, all of them were eager to keep on, and to continue the work begun for one, by service for the many who needed cheering as much as minnie had done. and the best part of the lesson which all of them had learned was, so mrs. newcombe thought, the great lesson that money, though a useful, is not an essential, part of true helpfulness, and that time given, and thought, and observation, and ingenuity, and loving hearts, can accomplish without it all the best and sweetest part of giving. who ate the queen's luncheon? you can imagine the state of excitement into which otillie le breton was thrown, when, one day in june, her father, the seigneur of sark, came home and told her that the queen, who was cruising about the channel in the royal yacht, had notified him of her intention of landing at sark the next thursday and of lunching at the seigneurie. it sounds such a fine thing to be the daughter of the seigneur of sark, that perhaps you will imagine that otillie was used to kings and queens and fine company of all sorts, and wonder that she should feel so much excited on this occasion. not at all! the seigneur of sark is only a quiet, invalid clergyman who owns his little island just as other english gentlemen do their estates, letting out the land to farmers and collecting his rents and paying his taxes like other people; and otillie was a simply brought-up girl of fourteen, who knew much less of the world than most girls of her age in boston or new york, had never been off the channel islands, and never set eyes on a "crowned head" in her life, and she felt exactly as any of us would if we were suddenly told that a queen was coming to take a meal in our father's house. queens are not common apparitions in any of the channel islands, and least of all in little sark. it is a difficult place to get to even for common people. the island, which is only three miles long, is walled by a line of splendid cliffs over three hundred feet high. its only harbor is a strip of beach, defended by a tiny breakwater, from which a steep road is tunnelled up through the rocks to the interior of the island. in rough weather, when the wind blows and the sea runs high, which is the case five days out of seven in summer, and six-and-a-half days out of seven in winter, boats dare not make for this difficult landing, which is called by the natives "the creux"--or hole. it is reported that some years since when the lords of the admiralty were on a tour of inspection they sailed all round sark and sailed away again, reporting that no place could be discovered where it was possible to land, which seemed to the sarkites a very good joke indeed. there are four principal islands in the channel group: alderney and jersey, from which come the cows all of us know about; guernsey, whose cattle, though not so celebrated on this side of the sea, are held by the islanders as superior to all others; and sark, the smallest and by far the most beautiful of the four. it is a real story-book island. the soft, sea-climate and the drifting mists of the gulf stream nourish in its green valleys all manner of growing things. flowers flourish there as nowhere else. heliotropes grow into great clumps, and red and pink geraniums into bushes. fuchsias and white-starred jessamines climb to the very roofs of the mossy old farm-houses, which stand knee-deep, as it were, in vines and flowers. long links of rose-colored bindweed lie in tangles along the dusty roadside; you tread on them as you walk through the shady lanes, between hedge-rows of ivy and sweet-brier and briony, from whose leaves shine out little glittering beetles, in mail coats of flashing, iridescent green, like those which the cuban ladies wear on their lace dresses as a decoration. there is only one wagon kept for hire on the island, and all is primitive and peaceful and full of rest and repose. but there are wonderful things too, as well as beautiful ones,--strange spouting-holes in the middle of green fields, where the sea has worn its way far inland, and, with a roar, sends sudden shocks of surf up through its chimney-like vent. caves too, full of dim green light, in whose pools marvellous marine creatures flourish-- "the fruitage and bloom of the ocean," or strange spines of rock path linking one end of the island with the other by a road not over five feet wide, from whose undefended edges the sheer precipice goes down on either side for hundreds of feet into the ocean. there are natural arches in the rocks also through which the wonderful blue-green sea glances and leaps. all about the island the water is of this remarkable color, like the plumage of a peacock or a dragonfly's glancing wings, and out of it rise strange rock-shapes, pyramids and obelisks and domes, over which white surf breaks constantly. some of the most remarkable of these rocks are beneath the seigneurie, whose shaven lawns and walled gardens stretch to the cliff top and command a wide sea-view. it is a fine old house, with terraces and stone balustrades over which vines cluster thickly, and peacocks sit, spreading their many-eyed tails to the sun, as if trying to outdo the strange, flashing, iridescent sea. otillie herself always fed these peacocks, which were old family friends. there were six of them, bluet and cramoisie,--the parents of the flock, who had been named by mrs. le breton, who was a frenchwoman,--peri and fee de fees, and lorenzo the magnificent and the great panjandrum, these last christened by otillie herself on account of their size and stately demeanor. the beautiful creatures were quite tame. they would take food from her hand, and if she failed to present herself at the accustomed time with her bowl of millet and bread, they would put their heads in at the terrace windows and scream, till she recollected her duty and came to them. i am afraid that the peacocks were rather neglected for the few days preceding the queen's visit, for everybody at the seigneurie was very busy. mr. le breton, as a general thing, lived simply enough. his wife had died when otillie was only six years old. miss niffin the governess, marie the cook, two housemaids, and an old butler who had served the family for a quarter of a century made up the establishment indoors. otillie had her basin of porridge and cream and her slice of bread at eight o'clock every morning, and bread and milk and "kettle-tea" for supper, with now and then a taste of jam by way of a treat. the servants lived chiefly on "jersey soup," a thick broth of oatmeal, vegetables, and fish, with a trifle of bacon or salt-beef to give it a relish. mr. le breton had his morning coffee in his study, and the early dinner, which he shared with otillie and miss niffin, was not an elaborate one. these being the customs of the seigneurie, it can easily be imagined that it taxed every resource of the establishment to provide suitably for the queen's entertainment. all the island knew of the important event and longed to advise and help. the farmers sent their thickest cream and freshest strawberries and lettuces, desirous to prove their loyalty not to their sovereign only, but also to their landlord. marie, the cook, spent the days in reading over her most difficult recipes, and could not sleep at night. a friend of hers, once second cook to the earl of dunraven, but now retired on her laurels into private life, offered to come for a few days to assist, and to fabricate a certain famous game pasty, of which it was asserted the english aristocracy are inordinately fond. peter the butler crossed over to guernsey twice during the week with a long list of indispensables to be filled up at the shops there, hampers of wine came from london, and hot-house grapes and nectarines from friends in jersey; the whole house was in a bustle, and nothing was spoken of but the queen and the queen's visit, what she would wear and say and do, whom she would bring with her, and what sort of weather she would have for her coming. this last point was the one on which otillie was most solicitous. a true child of sark, she knew all about its tides and currents, the dangers of the island channels, and the differences which a little more or less wind and sea made in the navigation of them. she could recollect one stormy winter, when a guernsey doctor who had come over to set a broken arm was detained for three weeks on the island, in plain sight all the time of his own home in st. peterport, but as unable to get to it as if it had been a thousand miles away! "it would be dreadful if the queen came and then could not get away again for three weeks!" she said to herself. "it would be awfully interesting to have her here, of course--but i don't quite know what we should do--or what she would do!" she tried to make a picture of it in her mind, but soon gave up the attempt. provisions are scarce sometimes on sark when the wind blows and the boats cannot get in. there would always be milk and vegetables and fruit if it were summer, and perhaps chickens enough could be collected to hold out; but there was something terrible in the idea of a queen without butcher's meat! otillie's imagination refused to compass it! her very first thought when the important day dawned was the weather. she waked with the first sunbeam and ran at once to the window. when she saw a clear sky and the sun rising out of a still sea, she gave a scream of delight. "what is the matter?" asked miss niffin sleepily from the next room. "it's good weather," replied otillie. "we've got the most beautiful day for the queen to come in." miss niffin's only answer was a little groan. she was a small, shy person, and the idea of confronting royalty made her dreadfully nervous. "oh, if the day were only over!" she said to herself; and she longed to plead a headache and stay in bed, but she dared not. besides, she felt that it would be cowardly to desert her post on such an important occasion and leave otillie alone; so she braced her mind to face the awful necessity and began to dress. mr. le breton, awakening about the same time, gave a groan a good deal like miss niffin's. he was a loyal subject, and felt the honor that was done him by the queen's inviting herself to luncheon; but, all the same, invalids do not like to be put out of their way, and he, too, wished the day well done. "ten to one i shall be laid up for the next month to pay for it," he reflected. then he too braced himself to the necessity and rang for hot water, determined to do his duty as a man and a seigneur. otillie was perhaps the only person in the house who was really glad to have the day come. the servants were tired and fretted with a sense of responsibility. marie had passed a dreadful night, full of dreams of failure and spoiled dishes. "now just as sure as guns my rolls will have failed to rise this day of all the days of the year," was her first waking thought. but no, the rolls were light as a feather, and the sponge and almond cakes came out of the oven delicately browned and quite perfect in taste and appearance. nothing went wrong; and when mr. le breton, just before starting for the creux harbor to meet the royal party, took a look into the dining-room to make sure that all was right, he said to himself that he had never seen a prettier or more complete little "spread." the table was ornamented with hot-house fruit and flowers, beautifully arranged by miss niffin and otillie. all the fine old le breton plate had been brought out and polished, the napery shone like iced snow, there were some quaint pieces of old venetian glass, jugs, dishes, and flagons, and a profusion of pretty confections, jellies, blanc-manges, crystallized fruits, and bonbons, to give sparkle and color. the light streamed in at the windows which opened on the terrace, from under the vines the flash of the waves could be seen, the curtains waved in the wind, which was blowing inland. nothing could be prettier; the only discord was the noisy scream of the peacocks on the lawn, who seemed as much upset and disturbed by the great event as the rest of the household. "can't something be done to stop those creatures?" said mr. le breton. "tie them up somewhere, can't you, otillie, or send a boy to drive them down to the farm." "it's only because they are hungry," replied otillie rather absently. "i haven't given them their breakfast yet." she was sticking long stems of fronded osmundas into a jar as a decoration for the fireplace, and scarcely noticed what her father said. it was some minutes after the carriage drove away before she finished; then, with a sigh of relief, she brushed up the leaves she had scattered on the carpet, and ran upstairs to change her dress. it would never do to be caught by the queen in a holland frock, with her hair blown about her eyes, and green finger-tips! the clock struck one as she fastened her white dress and patted smooth the bows of her wide pink sash. one was the hour fixed for the queen to land, so there was no time to lose. otillie only waited for a glance in at the door of the spare room, where the queen, if so minded, was to take off her things. she glanced at the bed with a sort of awe as the possible repository of a royal bonnet, altered the position of a bowl of roses on the mantelpiece, and then hurried down to join miss niffin, who, attired in her best black silk and a pair of lace mitts, was seated decorously in the hall doing nothing. otillie sat down beside her. it was rather a nervous waiting, and a long one; for half an hour passed, three quarters, and finally the clock struck two, before wheels were heard on the gravel, and during all that time the two watchers spoke scarcely a word. only once otillie cried as a gust of wind blew the curtains straight out into the room, "o dear! i hope it isn't rough. o dear! wouldn't it be dreadful if the queen were to be sick? she would never like sark again!" "i think her majesty must be used to the sea, she sails so much," replied miss niffin. the gust died away and did not blow the curtains any more, and again they sat in silence, waiting and listening. "at last!" cried otillie as the distinct roll of wheels was heard on the drive. her heart beat fast, but she got up bravely, straightened her slender little figure as became a le breton, and walked out on to the porch. her eyes seemed strangely dazzled by the sun--for she could see no one in the carriage but her father. it rolled up to the door, and otillie felt a great throb of disappointment rise like a wave in her heart, and spread and swell! mr. le breton had come back alone! "papa," she cried, as soon as she could speak, "what _has_ happened? where is the queen?" "i hope nothing has gone amiss with her gracious majesty," put in miss niffin from behind. mr. le breton got out of the carriage before he replied. he looked tired and annoyed. "you can drive to the stable, thomas," he said; "the carriage will not be wanted." then he turned to miss niffin. "her gracious majesty has decided not to land," he went on. "the wind has sprung up and made rather a sea outside the breakwater; nothing to signify by the sark standard, but enough to deter inexperienced persons. i waited at the creux for nearly an hour, and every man, woman, and child on the island waited with me, with the exception of you and otillie and the servants, and then the captain of the royal yacht signalled that he could not risk putting the queen ashore in a small boat in such rough water. so the thing is given up." there was a certain latent relief in mr. le breton's tone. "oh!" cried otillie, stamping her foot. "how hateful of the wind to spring up! it could have waited as well as not! it has all the rest of the time to blow in, and now all the nice preparations are thrown away, and all our pleasant time spoiled, and just as likely as not the queen will never come to sark at all." her voice died away into a storm of sobs. "i wish i could be assured of that," remarked her father in a tone of weary resignation. "what i am afraid of is that she will come, or try to come, another day, and then there will be all this to do over again." he indicated by a gesture the door of the dining-room, from which queer muffled sounds were heard just then. "peter seems as much afflicted by this disappointment as you are, otillie," he added. "come, my child, don't cry over the matter. it can't be helped. wind and waves oblige nobody, not even kings and queens." "there are compensations for all our troubles," said miss niffin in her primmest tone. "we must bear up, and try to feel that all is for the best." miss niffin seemed to find it quite easy to be morally consoled for her share of loss in the giving up of the queen's visit. "how can you talk in that way!" cried otillie, who was not in the least in awe of miss niffin. "if i had broken my comb, you would have said exactly the same, i know you would! there isn't any compensation at all for this trouble, and it's no use my trying to feel that it's for the best,--it isn't." "we never know," replied miss niffin piously. "come," said mr. le breton, desiring to put an end to the altercation, "i don't know why we should go hungry because her majesty won't come and eat our luncheon. take my arm, miss niffin, and let us have something to eat. marie will break her heart if all her trouble and pains are not appreciated by somebody." [illustration: the peacocks, tired of waiting for their morning meal, and finding the windows open, had entered and helped themselves.--_page ._] he gave his arm to miss niffin as he spoke, and moved forward to the dining-room. otillie followed, wiping her eyes with her handkerchief, and feeling that the dainties would stick in her throat if she tried to swallow them, she was so very, very, dreadfully disappointed. but when mr. le breton reached the dining-room door he stopped suddenly as if shot, and gave a sort of shout! no one could speak for a moment. there was the feast, so prettily and tastefully arranged only an hour before, a mass of ruins! the flowers were upset, the fruit, tumbled and mashed, stained the cloth and the floor. wine and lemonade dripped from the table's edge. the pink and yellow jellies, the forms of charlotte russe and blanc-mange and the frosted cakes and tarts were reduced to smears and crumbs. where the gigantic pasty had stood remained only an empty dish, and above the remains, rearing, pecking, clawing, gobbling, appeared six long blue-green necks, which dipped and rose and dipped again! the peacocks, tired of waiting for their morning meal, and finding the windows open, had entered and helped themselves! there was lorenzo the magnificent with a sponge-cake in his beak, and peri gobbling down a lump of blanc-mange, and the grand panjandrum with both claws embedded in a pyramid of macaroons. their splendid tails were draggled with cream and crumbs, and sticky with jelly; altogether they presented a most greedy and disreputable appearance! the strangest part of the whole was that while they stuffed themselves they preserved a dead silence, and did not express their enjoyment by one of their usual noisy screams. it was evident that they felt that the one great opportunity of their lives was going on, and that they must make the most of it. at the sound of mr. le breton's shout the peacocks started guiltily. then they gathered up their tails as best they might, and, half flying, half running, scuttled out of the windows and far across the lawn, screaming triumphantly as they went, while otillie tumbled into a chair and laughed till she cried. "oh! didn't they look funny?" she gasped, holding her sides. "rather expensive fun," replied the seigneur ruefully. "but it is one comfort that we have it to ourselves." then the humor of the situation seized on him also, and he sat down and laughed almost as hard as otillie. "dear me! what a mercy that her majesty didn't come!" remarked miss niffin in an awe-struck tone. "good gracious," cried otillie with sudden horror at the thought, "suppose she had! suppose we had all walked in at that door and found the peacocks here! and of course we should! of course they would have done it just the same if there had been fifty queens to see them! how dreadful it would have been! oh, there are compensations, miss niffin; i see it now." so otillie was reconciled to her great disappointment, though the queen never has tried to land at sark again, and perhaps never will. for, as otillie sensibly says, "it is a great deal better that we should be disappointed than that the queen should be; for if she had been very hungry, and most likely she would have been after sailing and all, she would not have thought the grand panjandrum with his feet in the macaroons half so funny as we did, and would have been truly and really vexed." so it was all for the best, as miss niffin said. the shipwrecked cologne-bottle. it seemed the middle of the night, though it was really only three o'clock in the morning, when little davy crocker was wakened by a sudden stamping of feet on the stoop below his window, and by a voice calling out that a ship was ashore off the point, and that captain si, davy's uncle, must turn out and help with the life-boat. davy was a "landlubber," as his cousin sam coffin was wont to assert whenever he wanted to tease him. he had lived all his short life at townsend harbor, up among the new hampshire hills, and until this visit to his aunt at nantucket, had never seen the sea. all the more the sea had for him a great interest and fascination, as it has for everybody to whom it has not from long familiarity become a matter of course. conversation in nantucket is apt to possess a nautical and, so to speak, salty flavor. davy, since his arrival, had heard so much about ships which had foundered, or gone to pieces on rocks, or burned up, or sprung leaks and had to be pumped out, that his mind was full of images of disaster, and he quite longed to realize some of them. to see a shipwreck had become his great ambition. he was not particular as to whether the ship should burn or founder or go ashore, any of these would do, only he wanted all the sailors to be saved. once he had gone with his cousins to the south shore on the little puffing railroad which connects nantucket town with siasconsett, and of which all the people of the island are so justly proud; and there on the beach, amid the surf-rollers which look so soft and white and are so cruelly strong, he had seen a great piece of a ship. nearly the whole of the bow end it appeared to be. it was much higher than davy's head, and seemed to him immense and formidable; yet this enormous thing the sea had taken into its grasp and tossed to and fro like a plaything and at last flung upon the sand as if it were a toy of which it had grown weary. it gave davy an idea of the great power of the water, and it was after seeing this that he began to long to witness a shipwreck. and now there was one, and the very sound of the word was enough to make him rub open his sleepy eyes and jump out of bed in a hurry! but when he had groped his way to the window and pulled up the rattling paper shade, behold! there was nothing to be seen! the morning was intensely dark. a wild wind was blowing great dashes of rain on the glass, and the house shook and trembled as the blasts struck it. davy heard his uncle on the stairs, and hurried to the door. "mayn't i go to the shipwreck with you, uncle si?" he called out. "go to what? go back to bed, my boy, that's the place for you. there'll be shipwreck enough in the morning to satisfy all of us, i reckon." davy dared not disobey. he stumbled back to bed, making up his mind to lie awake and listen to the wind till it was light, and then go to see the shipwreck "anyhow." but it is hard to keep such resolutions when you are only ten years old. the next thing he knew he was rousing in amazement to find the room full of brilliant sunlight. the rain was over, though the wind still thundered furiously, and through the noise it made, the sea could be heard thundering louder still. davy jumped out of bed, dressed as fast as he could, and hurried downstairs. the house seemed strangely empty; aunt patty was not in the kitchen, nor was cousin myra in the pantry skimming milk, as was usual at this hour of the day. davy searched for them in woodshed, garden, and barn. at last he spied them on the "walk" at the top of the house, and ran upstairs to join them. do any of you know what a "walk" is? i suppose not, unless you have happened to live in a whaling-town. many houses in nantucket have them. they are railed platforms, built on the peak of the roof between the chimneys, and are used as observatories from which to watch what is going on at sea. there the wives and sweethearts of the whalers used to go in the old days, and stand and sweep the ocean with spy-glasses, in hopes of seeing the ships coming in from their long cruises each with the signals set which told if the voyage had been lucky or no, and how many barrels of oil and blubber she was bringing home. then they used to watch the "camels," great hulls used as floats to lighten the vessels, go out and help the heavy-laden ship over the bar. and when that was done and every rope and spar conned and studied by the experienced eyes on the roofs, it was time to hurry down, hang on the welcoming pot, trim the fire and don the best gown, so as to make a bright home-coming for the long-absent husband or son. aunt patty had a spy-glass at her eyes when davy gained the roof. she was looking at the wrecked ship, which was plainly in view, beyond the little sandy down which separated the house from the sea. there she lay, a poor broken thing, stuck fast on one of the long reaches of sandy shoal which stretch about the island and make the navigation of its narrow and uncertain channels so difficult and sometimes so dangerous. the heavy seas dashed over the half-sunken vessel every minute; between her and the shore two lifeboats were coming in under closely-reefed sails. "oh, do let me look through the glass!" urged davy. when he was permitted to do so he uttered an exclamation of surprise, so wonderfully near did it make everything seem to be. "why, i can see their faces!" he cried. "there's uncle si! there's sam! and there's a very wet man! i guess he's one of the shipwrecked sailors! hurrah!" and davy capered up and down. "you unfeeling boy!" cried myra, "give me the glass--you'll let it fall. he's right, mother, father and sam are coming ashore as fast as they can sail, and they'll be wanting their breakfasts, of course. i'd better go down and mix the corn bread." she took one more look through the glass, announced that the other boat had some more of the shipwrecked men on board, she guessed, and that abner folger was steering; then she ran down the ladder, followed by her mother, and davy was left to watch the boats in. when he too went down, the kitchen was full of good smells of boiling coffee and frying eggs, and his uncle and sam and the "very wet man" were just entering the door together. the wet man, it appeared, was the captain of the wrecked vessel; the rest of the crew had been taken home by other people. the captain was a long, brown, sinewy maine man. he was soaked with sea-water and looked haggard and worn, as a man well might who had just spent such a terrible night; but he had kind, melancholy eyes, and a nice face, davy thought. the first thing to be done was to get him into dry clothes, and uncle si carried him up to davy's room for this purpose. davy followed them. he felt as if he could never see enough of this, his first shipwrecked sailor. when the captain had been made comfortable in uncle silas's flannel shirt and spare pea-jacket and a pair of sam's trousers, he hung his own clothes up to dry, and they all went down to breakfast. aunt patty had done her best. she was very sorry for the poor man who had lost his ship, and she even brought out a tumbler of her best grape jelly by way of a further treat; but the captain, though he ate ravenously, as was natural to a man who had fasted so long, did not seem to notice what he was eating, and thus disappointed kind aunt patty. she comforted herself by thinking what she could get for dinner which he would like. uncle si and sam were almost as hungry as the maine captain, so not much was said till breakfast was over, and then they all jumped up and hurried out, for there was a deal to be done. davy felt very dull after they had gone. he had never heard of such a thing as "reaction," but that was what he was suffering from. the excitement of the morning had died out like a fire which has no more fuel to feed it, and he could not think of anything that he wanted to do. he hung listlessly round, watching aunt patty's brisk operations about the kitchen, and at last he thought he would go upstairs and see if the captain's clothes were beginning to dry. wet as they were, they seemed on the whole the most interesting things in the house. the clothes were not nearly dry, but on the floor, just below where the rough pea-jacket hung, lay a little shining object. it attracted davy's attention, and he stooped and picked it up. it was a tiny bottle full of some sort of perfume, and set in a socket of plated filagree shaped like a caster, with a filagree handle. the bottle had a piece of white kid tied over its cork with a bit of blue ribbon. it was not a thing to tempt a boy's fancy, but davy saw that it was pretty, and the idea came into his head that he should like to carry it home, to his little sister bella. bella was fond of perfumes, and the bottle had cologne in it, as davy could smell without taking out the cork. he was sure that bella would like it. davy had been brought up to be honest. i am sure that he did not mean to steal the cologne-bottle. the idea of stealing never entered his mind, and it would have shocked him had it done so. he was an imaginative little fellow, and the tiny waif seemed to him like a shell or a pebble, something coming out of the sea, which any one was at liberty to pick up and keep. he did not say to himself that it probably belonged to the captain, who might have a value for it, he did not think about the captain at all, he only thought of bella. so after looking at the pretty toy for a while, he put it carefully away in the drawer where he kept his things, pushing it far back, and drawing a pair of stockings in front of it, so that it might be hidden. he did not want anybody to meddle with the bottle; it was his now, or rather it was bella's. then he went up to the walk once more, and was so interested in watching the wreck and the boats, which, as the wind moderated, came and went between her and the shore, picking up the barrels and casks which were floated out of her hold, that he soon forgot all about the matter. it was nearly dark before the two captains and sam came back to eat the meal which had been ready for them since the middle of the afternoon. aunt patty had taken off her pots and saucepans more than once and put them on again, to suit the long delay; but nothing was spoiled and everything tasted good, which showed how cleverly she had managed. the maine captain--whose name it appeared was joy--seemed more cheerful than in the morning, and more inclined to talk. but after supper, when he had gone upstairs and put on his own clothes, which aunt patty had kept before the fire nearly all day and had pressed with hot irons so that they looked almost as good as ever, his melancholy seemed to come on again. he sat and puffed at his pipe till aunt patty began to ask questions about the wreck. captain joy, it appeared, was part owner of the ship, whose name was the "sarah jane." "she was called after my wife's sister," he told them, "and my little girl to home has the same name, 'sarah jane.' she is about the age of that boy there, or a mite older maybe,"--nodding toward davy. "she wanted to come with me this vy'age, but her mother wouldn't hear of it, and i'm mighty thankful she wouldn't, as things have turned out. no child could have stood the exposure of such a night as we had and come out alive; and sarah jane, though she's as spry as a cricket and always on the go, isn't over strong." the captain took a long pull at his pipe and looked dreamily into the fire. "i asked her, just as i was coming off, what i should bring her," he went on, "and she had a wish all fixed and ready. i never knew such a child for knowing her own mind. she's always sure what she wants, sarah jane is. the thing she wanted was a cologne-bottle, she said, and it must be just so, shaped like one of them pepper and vinegar what d' you call em's, that they put on hotel tables. she was very pertikeler about the kind. she drew me a picter of it on her slate, so 's to have no mistake, and i promised her if new york could furnish it she should have that identical article, and she was mighty pleased." nobody noticed that at the mention of the cologne-bottle, davy gave a guilty jump, and shrank back into the shadow of uncle si's broad shoulders. oh, if he could only put it back into the pocket of the pea-jacket! but how could he when the captain had the jacket on? "i was kind of fearful that there wouldn't be any bottles of that pertikeler shape that sarah jane had in her mind," continued captain joy, "but the town seemed to be chock-full of 'em. the very first shop i come to, there they stood in the window, rows of 'em, and i just went in and bought one for sarah jane before i did anything else, and when i'd got it safely stowed away in the locker, i felt kind of easy in my mind. we come down with a load of coal, but i hadn't more 'n a quarter cargo to take back, mostly groceries for the stores up to bucksport and ellsworth,--and it's lucky it was no more, as things have happened. the schooner was pretty old and being so light in ballast, i jedged it safest, when the blow come on so hard from the nor'-east, to run it under the lee of cape cod and ride it out there if we could. but we hadn't been anchored more 'n three hours--just about nine o'clock it was--when the men came to tell me that we was taking in water terrible fast. i suppose the ship had kind of strained her seams open in the gale. it want no use trying to pump her out in such a storm, and if we didn't want to go down at our anchorage, there wasn't anything for it but to cut her loose and drive across the haven in hopes of going aground on the sand before she sank. i can tell you if ever a man prayed, i prayed then, when i thought every minute she'd founder in deep water before we struck the shoal. and just as she was settling i heard the sand grate under the keel, and you may believe i was thankful, though it meant the loss of pretty much all i've got in the world. i shouted to the men to get to the rigging in the mainmast, for i knew she'd go to pieces pretty soon, and there wasn't no way of signalling for help till daylight, and i gave one dive for the cabin, got the papers out of the locker, and sarah jane's cologne-bottle, buttoned them up inside my pea-coat, and just got back again in time to see the foremast go over the side and the sea make a clean sweep of the decks. the mainmast stayed, and we lashed ourselves, and managed to hold on till sunrise, when we see you a-coming out to us, and glad we were. "every now and then in the night, when the water was washing over us, i put my fingers inside my coat and made sure that sarah jane's bottle was there, and wasn't broken. i didn't want the child to be disappointed, you see. it was safe when we come ashore, i'm certain of that, but--" the captain paused. "now don't say it got broken after all!" cried myra sympathetically. "no, it wasn't broken, but it's just as bad," said captain joy. "either i dropped it getting out of the boat and trod it down in the sand, or else some one has took it. it's gone, any way, and do you know, it's a foolish thing to say, but i feel nigh as bad about that there little dud as wasn't worth more 'n fifty cents, as i do about the loss of the hull cargo, on account of sarah jane." there was a pause as he ceased. aunt patty and myra were too sorry for the captain to feel like speaking at once. suddenly into the silence there fell the sound of a sob. everybody started, and uncle si caught davy's arm and pulled him into the firelight where his face could be seen. "why, what are you crying for, little 'un?" asked uncle si. "i'm so sorry. i didn't know it was the captain's," said davy, in a tear-choked voice. "didn't know what was the captain's? now, davy crocker, 'twasn't ever you who took that bottle?" cried aunt patty. "i found it on the floor," sobbed davy. "i thought it was washed ashore from the shipwreck. i didn't suppose it belonged to anybody, and i wanted it for bella. oh, i'm so sorry." "why, then it ain't lost after all," cried captain joy, brightening up. "well, how pleased sarah jane _will_ be! don't cry any more, my lad. i can see how it was, and that you didn't think it was stealing to take anything that had been in the sea." aunt patty and myra, however, still were deeply shocked, and could not look as lightly at davy's offence as did the captain. davy crept upstairs, brought down the cologne-bottle and slid it into captain joy's hand; then he crept away and sat in a dark corner behind the rest, but his conscience followed him, and myra's reproachful look. "oh, davy!" she whispered, "i never thought you'd be so mean as to take anything from a shipwrecked sailor!" this was davy's punishment, and rankled in his mind long after everybody else had forgotten the matter, after the sands had swallowed up all that was left of the "sarah jane," and after the captain had returned to bucksport and made the real sarah jane happy by the gift of the bottle she had wished for so much. it rankles occasionally to this day, though he is now a stout lad of fifteen. that he, he of all boys, should have done such a thing to a man just saved from the sea! he consoles himself by resolving to be particularly kind to shipwrecked sailors all the rest of his life; but unluckily, the "sarah jane" is, so far, his sole experience of a wreck, and the only sailor he has as yet had any chance to do anything for is captain joy, and what he did for him we all know. one does not always have the opportunity to make up for a blunder or a fault, and i am afraid davy may live his life out and never again have the good luck to show his good intentions by _not_ picking up and hiding a shipwrecked cologne-bottle! under a syringa-bush. the old syringa at the foot of the wade's lawn was rather a tree than a bush. many years of growth had gone to the thickening of its interlaced boughs, which grew close to the ground, and made an impervious covert, except on the west side, where a hollow recess existed, into which a small person, boy or girl, might squeeze and be quite hidden. sundry other small persons with wings and feathers had discovered the advantages of the syringa. all manner of unsuspected housekeepings went on within its fastnesses, from the lark's nest, in a tuft of grass at the foot of the main stem, to the robin's home on the topmost bough. solicitous little mothers brooded unseen over minute families, while the highly decorative bird papa sat on a neighboring hedge, carrying out his mission, which seemed to be to distract attention from the secreted family by the sweetness of his song and the beauty of his plumage. in the dusk of the evening, soft thrills and twitters sounded from the bush, like whispered conversation; and very entertaining it must have been, no doubt, to any one who understood the language. so, altogether, the old syringa-bush was an interesting little world of itself. elly wade found it so, as she sat in the green hiding-place on the west side, crying as if her heart would break. the syringa recess had been her favorite "secret" ever since she discovered it, nearly two years before. no one else knew about it. there she went when she felt unhappy or was having a mood. once the boughs had closed in behind her, no one could suspect that she was there,--a fact which gave her infinite pleasure, for she was a child who loved privacies and mysteries. what are moods? does any one exactly understand them? some people attribute them to original sin, others to nerves or indigestion; but i am not sure that either explanation is right. they sweep across the gladness of our lives as clouds across the sun, and seem to take the color out of everything. grown people learn to conceal, if not to conquer, their moods; but children cannot do this, elly wade least of all. as i said, this was by no means her first visit to the syringa-bush. it has witnessed some stormy moments in her life, when she sat there hot and grieved, and in her heart believing everybody cruel or unjust. ralph had teased her; or cora, who was older than she, had put on airs; or little kitty had been troublesome, or some schoolmate "hateful." she even accused her mother of unkindness at these times, though she loved her dearly all the while. "she thinks the rest are always right, and i wrong," she would say to herself. "oh, well! she'll be sorry some day." what was to make mrs. wade sorry elly did not specify; but i think it was to be when she, herself, was found dead, somewhere on the premises, of a broken heart! elly was very fond of depicting this broken heart and tragical ending,--imaginative children often are. all the same, if she felt ill, or cut her finger, she ran to mamma for help, and was as much frightened as if she had not been thinking these deadly thoughts only a little while before. to-day elly had fled to the syringa-bush with no idea of ever coming out again. a great wrong had been done her. cora was going with a yachting-party, and she was not. mamma had said she was too young to be trusted, and must wait till she was older and steadier. "it is cruel!" she said with a fresh burst of sobs, as she recalled the bitter moment when she heard the verdict. "it was just as unkind as could be for her to say that. cora is only four years the oldest, and i can do lots of things that she can't. she doesn't know a bit about crocheting. she just knits. and she never made sponge-cake, and i have; and when she rows, she pulls the hardest with her left hand, and makes the boat wabble. i've a much better stroke than she has. papa said so. and i can swim just as well as she can! "nobody loves me," was her next reflection,--"nobody at all. they all hate me. i don't suppose anybody would care a bit if i _did_ die." but this thought was too hard to be borne. "yes, they would," she went on. "they'd feel remorse if i died, and they ought to. then they would recollect all the mean things they've done to me, and they would groan, and say, 'too late--too late!' like the bad people in story-books." comforted by this idea, she resolved on a plan of action. "i'll just stay here forever, and not come out at all. of course, i shall starve to death. then, all summer long they'll be hunting, and wondering and wondering what has become of me; and when the autumn comes, and the leaves fall off, they'll know, and they'll say, 'poor elly! how we wish we'd treated her better!'" she settled herself into a more comfortable position,--it isn't necessary to have cramps, you know, even if you _are_ starving to death,--and went on with her reflections. so still was she that the birds forgot her presence, and continued their twittering gossip and their small domestic arrangements undisturbed. the lark talked to her young ones with no fear of being overheard; the robins flew in and out with worms; the thrush, who occupied what might be called the second story of the syringa, disciplined a refractory fledgling, and papa thrush joined in with a series of musical expostulations. elly found their affairs so interesting that for a moment she forgot her own,--which was good for her. a big bumble-bee came sailing through the air like a wind-blown drum, and stopped for a minute to sip at a syringa blossom. next a soft whir drew elly's attention, and a shape in green and gold and ruby-red glanced across her vision like a flying jewel. it was a humming-bird,--the first of the season. elly had never been so near one before, nor had so long a chance to look, and she watched with delight as the pretty creature darted to and fro, dipping its needle-like bill into one flower-cup after another, in search of the honey-drop which each contained. she held her breath, not to startle it; but its fine senses seemed to perceive her presence in some mysterious fashion, and presently it flew away. elly's mind, no longer diverted, went back to its unhappiness. "i wonder how long it is since i came here," she thought. "it seems like a great while. i guess it must be as much as three hours. they're all through dinner now, and beginning to wonder where i am. but they won't find me, i can tell them!" she set her lips firmly, and again shifted her position. at the slight rustle every bird in the bush became silent. "they needn't," she said to herself. "i wouldn't hurt them. i'm not like ralph. he's real bad to birds sometimes. once he took some eggs out of a dear, cunning, little song-sparrow's nest, and blew the yolks. i'd never do such a mean thing as that." but though she tried to lash herself up to her old sharpness of feeling, the interruption of wrathful thoughts had somewhat soothed her mood. still, she held firmly to her purpose, while an increasing drowsiness crept over her. "i shall stay here all night," she thought, "and all to-morrow, and to-morrow night. and then"--a yawn--"pretty soon i shall be dead, i suppose, and they'll be--sorry"--another yawn--"and--" elly was asleep. when she woke, the bright noon sunshine had given place to a dusky light, which made the syringa recess very dark. the robins had discovered her whereabouts, and, hopping nearer and nearer, had perched upon a branch close to her feet, and were talking about her. she was dimly conscious of their voices, but had no idea what they were saying. "why did it come here, any way?" asked mrs. robin. "a great heavy thing like that in _our_ bush!" "i don't know, i'm sure," replied mr. robin. "it makes a strange noise, but it keeps its eyes shut while it makes it." "these great creatures are so queer!" pursued mrs. robin. "there,--it's beginning to move! i wish it would go away. i don't like its being so near the children. they might see it and be frightened." the two birds flitted hastily off as elly stretched herself and rubbed her eyes. a very uncomfortable gnawing sensation began to make itself evident. it wasn't exactly pain, but elly felt that it might easily become so. she remembered now that she fled away from the table, leaving her breakfast only half finished, yesterday morning,--was it yesterday, or was it the day before that? it felt like a long while ago. the sensation increased. "dear me!" thought elly, "the story-books never said that starving to death felt so. i don't like it a bit!" bravely she fought against the discomfort, but it gained upon her. she began to meditate whether her family had perhaps not been sufficiently punished. "i've been away a whole day," she reflected, "and a whole night, and i guess they've felt badly enough. very likely they've all sat up waiting for me to come back. they'll be sorry they acted so, and, any way, i'm so dreadfully hungry that i must have something to eat! and i want to see mamma too. perhaps she'll have repented, and will say, 'poor elly! she _may_ go.'" in short, elly was seized with a sudden desire for home, and, always rapid in decision, she lost no time in wriggling herself out of the bush. "there, it's gone!" chirped the female robin. "i'm glad of it. i hope it will never come back." very cautiously elly crept through the shrubbery on to the lawn. it still seemed dark, but she now perceived that the gloom came from a great thunder-cloud which was gathering overhead. she could not see the sun, and, confused with her long sleep, was not able to make out what part of the day it was; but, somehow, she felt that it was not the early morning as in the bush she had supposed. across the lawn she stole, and upon the piazza. no one was visible. the open window showed the dining-table set for something,--was it tea? upstairs she crept, and, looking in at the door as she went by, she saw her mother in her room taking off her bonnet. "my poor child, where did you think we had gone?" she called out. "papa was kept in town till the second train, and that was late, so we have only just got back. you must be half starved, waiting so long for your dinner. i hope nurse gave you some bread and milk." "why,--what day is it?" stammered the amazed elly. "day? why, elly, have you been asleep? it's to-day, of course,--thursday. what did you think it was?" elly rubbed her eyes, bewildered. had the time which seemed to her so long really been so short? had no one missed her? it was her first lesson in the comparative unimportance of the individual! a sense of her own foolishness seized her. mamma looked so sweet and kind! why had she imagined her cruel? "did you go to sleep, dear?" repeated mrs. wade. "yes, mamma," replied elly, humbly; "i did. but i'm waked up now." two girls--two parties. a great bustle and confusion had reigned the whole week long in the old house at the top of the hilly street, known to the neighborhood as "the squire's." all the slip-covers had been taken from the furniture in the best parlor. all the company china had been lifted off its top shelf and washed. all the spare lamps had been filled, all the rooms swept and dusted, all the drawers in the bureaus freshly arranged, for--as milly said to herself--"who knew but some one might take a fancy to peep in?" milly grace, the squire's daughter, had sat for hours in a cold woodshed tying up wreaths of ground-pine and hemlock with fingers which grew more chilly every hour. these wreaths now ornamented the parlor, festooning curtains, chimney-piece, and door-frames, and making green edges to the family portraits, which were two in number, neither of them by copley or stuart, as was plain to the most casual observation. one of these portraits represented the squire's father in a short-waisted, square-tailed blue coat, and a canary-colored waistcoat. his forefinger was inserted in a calf-bound volume of blackstone, and his eyes were fixed with a fine judicial directness upon the cupola of the court-house seen through a window in the background. the other was his wife, in a sad-colored gown and muslin tucker, with a countenance which suggested nothing except saleratus and the renunciation of all human joys. the squire did not care much for this picture. it made him feel badly, he said, just the feeling he used to have when he was a boy and was sent every sunday by this orthodox parent to study the longer answers of the shorter catechism on the third step of the garret-stairs, with orders not to stir from that position till he had them perfectly committed to memory. it was this strict bringing-up, perhaps, which made him so indulgent to milly,--a great deal too indulgent her step-mother thought. in the buttery stood a goodly row of cakes little and big, loaves whose icings shone like snow-crust on a sunny day, little cakes with plums and little cakes without plums; all sorts of cakes. on the swinging shelf of the cellar were moulds of jelly clear and firm. in the woodhouse stood three freezers of ice-cream, "packed" and ready to turn out. elsewhere were dishes of scalloped oysters ready for the oven, each with its little edging of crimped crackers, platters of chicken-salad, forms of blanc-mange, bowls of yellow custard topped with raspberry-and-egg like sunset-tinted avalanches, all that goes to the delectation of a country party: for a party there was to be, as after this enumeration i need hardly state. it was milly's party, and all these elaborate preparations were her own work,--the work of a girl of nineteen, with no larger allowance of hands, feet, and spinal-vertebræ than all girls have, and no larger allowance of hours to her day; but with a much greater share of zeal, energy, and what the squire called "go" than most young women of her age can boast of. she it was who had pounded away at the tough sacks full of ice and salt till they were ready for the freezers. she it was who had beaten the innumerable eggs for the sponge cakes, pound cakes, fruit cakes, "one, two, three, four," jelly, nut and other cakes, who had swept the rooms, washed the china, rearranged, changed, brightened everything. like most other families on croydon hill, the graces kept but one "help," a stout woman, who could wash, iron, and scrub with the best, and grapple successfully enough with the simple daily _menu_, but who for finer purposes was as "unhandy" as a gorilla. all the embellishments, all the delicate cookeries, fell to the share of the ladies of the household, which meant milly as a general thing, and in this case particularly, for the party was hers, and she felt bound to take the burden of it on her own shoulders as far as possible, especially as her step-mother did not quite approve, and considered that the squire had done a foolish thing in giving consent. "milly should have her way for once," the squire had announced. so milly had her way, and had borne herself bravely and brightly through the fatigues of preparation. but somehow when things were almost ready, when the table was set, lacking only the last touches, and the fire lighted, a heavy sense of discouragement fell upon her. it was the natural reaction after long overwork, but she was too inexperienced to understand it. she only knew that suddenly the thing she had wished for seemed undesirable and worth nothing, and that she felt perfectly miserable, and "didn't care what became of her." she laid her tired head on the little table by which she was sitting, and, without in the least intending it, began to cry. mrs. grace was lying down, the squire was out; there was no one to note her distress or sympathize with it excepting teakettle, the black cat. he was sorry for milly after his cat-fashion, rubbed his velvet head against her dress for a little while as if wishing to console her, but when she took no notice, he walked away and sat down in front of the door, waiting till some one should open it and let him through. cats soon weary of the role of comforter, and escape to pleasanter things,--sunshine, bird-shadows on the grass, light-hearted people who will play with them and make no appeal to their sympathies. milly's tears did her no good. she was too physically worn out to find relief in them. they only deepened her sense of discouragement. the clock struck six; she roused herself wearily and went upstairs to dress. there were still the lamps to light and last things to do. "and no one to do them but me," thought poor milly. "oh dear, how dreadfully my feet ache! how glad i shall be when they all go away and i can go to bed!" this was indeed a sad state of mind to be in on the eve of a long-anticipated pleasure! everything looked bright and orderly and attractive when the guests arrived a little after half-past seven. the fire snapped and the candles shone; a feeling of hospitable warmth was in the air. milly's arrangements, except so far as they regarded her own well-being, had been judicious and happy. the pretty girls in their short-sleeved blue and crimson merinos, with roses and geranium-leaves in their hair (i need not say that this was at a far-back and old-fashioned date), looked every whit as charming as the girls of to-day in their more elaborate costumes. cousin mary kendal, who, for all her grown-up sons and daughters liked fun as much as any girl among them, had volunteered to play for the dancing, and the spirit with which she dashed at once into "the caspian waltz" and "corn rigs are bonny" was enough to set a church steeple to capering. everybody seemed in a fair way to have a delightful evening except one person. that one was poor milly, usually the merriest in every party, but now dull, spiritless, and inert. she did not even look pretty! color and sparkle, the chief elements of beauty in her face, were, for the moment, completely quenched. she was wan and jaded, there were dark rings under her eyes, and an utter absence of spring to her movements, usually so quick and buoyant. she sat down whenever she had the chance, she was silent unless she must speak; half-unconsciously she kept a watch of the clock and was saying to herself, "only two hours more and i can go to bed." her fatigued looks and lack of pleasure were a constant damper to the animation of the rest. every one noticed, and wondered what could be the matter; but only janet norcross dared to ask. "have you got a headache?" she whispered; but the "no" which she received by way of answer sounded so cross that she did not venture on further inquiries. "why won't you dance with me?" urged will benham; "you said you would when we were talking about the party after the lecture--don't you remember?" "i'd rather the others had the chance--it's my party, you know," replied milly. "but they _are_ having a chance. everybody is dancing but you. come, milly." "oh, will, don't tease," cried milly irritably. "i never saw such an evening. do please to leave me alone and go and ask some of the others." weariness sharpened her voice. till the words were out of her lips she had no idea that she was going to speak so petulantly to will. it sounded dreadfully even to herself. "oh, certainly," said will with freezing dignity. he crossed the room, and presently milly saw him take helen jones out to the set of lancers just forming. he did not look at milly again, or come near her, and the sense of his displeasure was just the one drop too much. milly felt herself choke, a hot rush of tears blinded her eyes, she turned, and being fortunately near the door, got out of it and upstairs without suffering her face to be seen. janet found her half an hour later lying prone across the bed, and sobbing as if her heart would break. "what _is_ the matter?" she cried in alarm. "are you ill, dear milly? has anything dreadful happened? i came up to look for you. will benham got worried because you were away so long, and came to me to ask what had become of you. i told him i guessed you were taking out the ice-creams, but katy said you hadn't been in the kitchen at all, so i came up here. what is the matter--do tell me?" "oh, nothing is the matter at all, except that i am a perfect idiot, and so tired that i wish i were dead," said milly. "it was awfully good of will to care, for i spoke so crossly to him. you can't think. it was horrid of me, but somehow i felt so dreadfully tired that the words seemed to jump out of my mouth against my will. dear janet--and i was cross to you, too," added milly penitently. "everything has gone wrong with me to-night. oh, and there is that horrible ice-cream! i must go and get it out of the freezers. but my back aches so, janet, and the soles of my feet burn like fire." "you poor thing, you are just tired out," said her friend. "no wonder. you must have worked like a horse to make everything so nice and pretty as it is. don't worry about the ice-cream. just tell me what dishes to put it in, and i'll see to it. it won't take five minutes. but do rouse yourself now, and keep up a little while longer. the others will wonder so if you don't go down. you _must_ go down, you know. here is a wet towel for your eyes, and i'll smooth your hair." even so small a lift as having the ice-cream taken out for her was a relief, and janet's kindness, and the sense that will was not hopelessly alienated by her misconduct, helped milly to recover her equilibrium. soothed and comforted she went downstairs, and got through the rest of the evening tolerably well. but when the last good-night had been said, and the last sleigh-bell had jingled away from the door, she found herself too tired to rest. all night long she tossed restlessly on her hot pillows, while visions of pounding ice and stirring cake, of will's anger, and janet's surprise when she found her in tears, whirled through her thoughts. when morning came she was so "poorly" that the doctor was sent for. "too much party, no doubt," was his inward commentary when he received the summons; and his first words to milly were, "well, missy, so you are down with fruit cake and mottoes, are you?" "oh, doctor, no, i never ate a mouthful of the cake. i only made it," was poor milly's disclaimer. "that sounds serious," said the doctor. but when he had felt her pulse he looked graver. "you've done a good deal too much of something, that is evident," he said. "i shall have to keep you in bed awhile to pay you for it." milly was forced to submit. she stayed in bed for a whole week and the greater part of another, missing thereby two candy-pulls on which her heart was set, and the best sleighing frolic of the season. everybody was kind about coming to see her, and sending her flowers and nice things, and janet, in particular, spent whole hours with her every day. "the whole thing seems such a dreadful pity," milly said one day. she was really better now, able to sit up, and equal to a calm discussion of her woes. "i had looked forward so much to my party, and i wanted to have it as nice as could be, and i worked so hard; and then, when the time came, i didn't enjoy it a bit. if i could only have it over again now when i am all rested and fresh, i should have as good a time as anybody. doesn't it seem a pity, janet?" "yes, it does," replied janet, after which she fell into a little musing-fit. "one can't have company without taking some trouble," she said at last. "but i wonder if one need take so much?" "i don't see what else i could have done," said milly. "you must give people nice things when they come to see you, and somebody has got to make them. and besides that, there is so much to see to about the house,--dusting, and washing china, and making the rooms nice." "i know," went on janet reflectively. "mrs. beers half killed herself, i remember, when she had that quilting two years ago, in giving the whole house a thorough house-cleaning beforehand. she said as like as not somebody would want to run up into the garret-chamber after something, and she should have a fit if it wasn't in order. and after all, not a soul went anywhere except to the parlor and dining-room, and into mrs. beers's bedroom to take off their things; so the fuss was all thrown away, and mrs. beers had inflammation of the lungs afterward, and almost died." "i recollect. but then they might have gone to the attic--she couldn't tell. it was natural that mrs. beers should think of it." "well, and suppose they had, and that there had been a trifle of dust on the top of some old trunk, what difference would it have made? people who are busy enjoying themselves don't stop to notice every little thing. i am going to think the thing over, milly. it's all wrong somehow." janet herself was meditating a party. her father had given permission, and aunt esther, who managed the housekeeping, was only too glad to fall in with any plan which pleased janet. judge norcross was the richest man on the hill. there was no reason why janet's entertainment should not out-shine milly's. in fact, she had felt a little ambitious to have it do so, and had made certain plans in her private mind all of which involved labor and trouble; but now she hesitated. "if i'm going to be as tired out as milly was, and not enjoy it, what's the use of having a party at all?" she said to herself. "i'd _like_ to have it as nice as hers; but whatever i have, i have got to do it all myself. i'm not as strong as milly, i know, and it has half killed _her_; perhaps it would quite kill me. a party isn't worth that!" she discussed the matter within herself, reasonably. she _could_ wind herself up and make eight kinds of cake if she liked. there were the recipes and the materials and she knew how; moreover, aunt esther would help her. she could have as much jelly and syllabub and blanc-mange as milly, she could turn the house upside down if she desired, and trim and beautify and adorn. it was a temptation. no girl likes to be outdone, least of all by her intimate friend. "but is it worth while?" janet queried. and i think she proved herself possessed of a very "level head" when, at last, she decided that it was not. "i'll be sensible for once," she told herself. "a party is not a duty, it is a pleasure. if i get so tired that i spoil my own pleasure, i spoil my company's too, for they will be sure to find it out just as they did at milly's. i couldn't half enjoy anything that night, because she looked so miserable; and i won't run the risk of having the same thing happen at our house. i'll just do what is necessary, and leave off the extras." the "necessary," when janet came to analyze it, proved to be quite as much as she was able to undertake; for, as she had admitted to herself, she was not nearly so strong as milly grace. it meant an ample supply of two sorts of cake, freshly made and delicate, with plenty of ice-cream, salad, scalloped oysters, and rolls. there was extra china to wash, the table to set, and the rooms to dust and arrange, and janet was quite tired enough before it was done. she sent to boston for some preserved ginger to take the place of the jelly which she didn't make, she made no attempt at evergreen wreaths, and she wisely concluded that rooms in their usual state of cleanliness would pass muster with young people intent on dancing and amusement, that no one would find time to peep into holes and corners, and that the house could wait to have its "thorough cleaning" administered gradually after the occasion was over. there was really a great deal of steady good sense in holding to this view of the matter, and janet found her reward in the end. the preparations, even thus simplified, taxed her strength; the extra touches which she had omitted would have been just the "straw too much." she gave herself a good margin for rest on the afternoon preceding the party, and when she came downstairs in her pretty dress of pale blue cashmere and swan's-down, ready to meet her guests, her cheeks and eyes were as bright as usual, and her spirits were ready for the exhilaration of excitement. the tone of any gathering depends in great measure on its hostess. if she is depressed or under the weather, her visitors are pretty sure to catch her mood and be affected by it. janet's sunny looks and gay laughs set the key-note of her party. nobody missed the wine jelly or the six absent sorts of cake, no one wasted a thought on the evergreen wreaths. all was fun and merriment, and nothing seemed wanting to the occasion. "what a good time we _have_ had!" said helen jones to alice ware as they stood at the door of the dressing-room waiting for their escorts. "it's been ever so much jollier than it was at milly's, and i can't think why. that was a beautiful party, but somehow people seemed to feel dull." helen had no idea of being overheard, but as it happened milly was nearer to her than she thought. "i'll tell you why it was, helen," she said, coming forward frankly. "don't look so shocked. i know you didn't mean me to hear, but indeed i don't mind a bit. and it's quite true besides. janet's party has been a great deal nicer, and it's because i was such a goose about mine. i did a great deal too much and got dreadfully tired, so tired that i couldn't enjoy it, and you all found it out of course, so you couldn't enjoy it either. i'm sure i don't wonder, but it was all my own fault. janet took warning by my experience and made her party easier, and you see how nice it has been. we have all had a beautiful time, and so has she. well--i've learned a lesson by it. next time i give a party i shall just do what i can to make it pleasant for you all, and not what i can't, and i hope it will turn out better for everybody concerned." the pink sweetmeat. only three pairs of stockings were left in the shop. it was a very little shop indeed, scarcely larger than a stall. job tuke, to whom it belonged, was not rich enough to indulge in the buying of any superfluous wares. every spring he laid in a dozen dozen of thin stockings, a bale of cheap handkerchiefs, a gross of black buttons, a gross of white, a little stationery, and a few other small commodities. in the autumn he added a dozen dozen of thick stockings, and a box full of mittens and knitted comforters. besides these he sold penny papers, and home-made yeast made by mrs. tuke. if the stock of wearables grew scant toward midwinter, job rejoiced in his heart, but by no means made haste to replenish it. he just laid aside the money needed for the spring outfit, and lived on what remained. thus it went year after year. trade was sometimes a little better, sometimes a little worse, but whichever way it was, job grew no richer. he and his old wife lived along somehow without coming on the parish for support, and with this very moderate amount of prosperity they were content. this year of which i write, the supply of winter stockings had given out earlier than usual. the weather had been uncommonly cold since october, which may have been the reason. certain it is, that here at michaelmas, with december not yet come in, only three pairs of stockings were left in the little shop. job tuke had told his wife only the week before that he almost thought he should be forced to lay in a few dozen more, folks seemed so eager to get 'em. but since he said that, no one had asked for stockings, as it happened, and job, thinking that trade was, after all, pretty well over for the season, had given up the idea of replenishing his stock. one of the three pairs of stockings was a big pair of dark mixed gray. one pair, a little smaller, was white, and the third, smaller still and dark blue in color, was about the size for a child of seven or eight years old. job tuke had put up the shutters for the night and had gone to bed. the stockings were talking together in the quiet darkness, as stockings will when left alone. one pair had been hung in the window. it had got down from its nail, and was now straddling carelessly with one leg on either side of the edge of the box in which the others lay, as a boy might on the top of a stile. this was the big gray pair. "our chances seem to be getting slim," he said gloomily. "that is more than you seem," replied the white stockings, in a tart voice. "your ankles are as thick as ever, and your mesh looks to me coarser than usual to-night." "there are worse things in the world than thickness," retorted the gray stockings angrily. "i'm useful, at any rate, i am, while you have no wear in you. i should say that you would come to darning about the second wash, if not sooner." "is that my fault?" said the white pair, beginning to cry. "no; it's your misfortune. but people as unfortunate as you are should mind their p's and q's, and not say disagreeable things to those who are better off." "pray don't quarrel," put in the little blues, who were always peacemakers. "think of our situation, the last survivors of twelve dozen! we ought to be friends. but, as you say, matters _are_ getting serious with us. of course we are all thinking about the same thing." "yes; about the christmas, and the chimney corner," sighed the white pair. "what a dreadful thing it would be if we went to the rag-bag never having held a christmas gift. i could not get over such a disgrace. my father, my grandfather--all my relations had their chance--some of them were even hung a second time!" "yes; christmas is woven into our very substance," said the gray stockings. "the old skeins and the ravellings tell the story to the new wool,--the story of the christmas time. the very sheep in the fields know it. for my part," he added proudly, "i should blush to lie in the same ash-heap even with an odd stocking who had died under the disgrace of never being hung up for christmas, and i will never believe that my life-long dream is to be disappointed!" "why will you use such inflated language?" snapped the white pair. "you were only woven last july. as late as may you were running round the meadow on a sheep's back." "very well; i don't dispute it. i may not be as old as methuselah, but long or short, my life is my life, and my dream is my dream, and you have no call to criticise my expressions, miss!" thundered the big pair. "there you are again," said the little blues. "i _do_ wish you wouldn't dispute. now let us talk about our chances. what day of the month is it?" "the twenty-seventh of november," said the gray stockings, who, because they hung over the penny papers in the window, always knew the exact date. "little more than four weeks to the holidays," said the white pair dolorously. "how i wish some one would come along and put us out of suspense." "being bought mightn't do that," suggested the little blues. "you might be taken by a person who had two pairs of stockings, and the others might be chosen to be hung up. such things do happen." "oh, they wouldn't happen to me, i think," said the white pair vaingloriously. as it happened, the three pairs of stockings were all sold the very day after this conversation, and all to one and the same person. this was mrs. wendte, an englishwoman married to a dutch shipwright. she had lived in holland for some years after her marriage, but now she and her husband lived in london. they had three children. the stockings were very much pleased to be bought. when job tuke rolled them up in paper and tied a stout packthread round them, they nestled close, and squeezed each other with satisfaction. besides, the joy of being sold was the joy of keeping together and knowing about each other's adventures. the first of these adventures was not very exciting. it consisted in being laid away in the back part of a bureau-drawer, and carefully locked in. "now, what is this for?" questioned the white stockings. "are we to stay here always?" "yes; that is just what i should like to know," grumbled the big grays. "why, of course not! who ever heard of stockings being put away for always?" said the wise little blues. "wait patiently and we shall see. i think it is some sort of a surprise." but day after day passed and nothing happened, surprising or otherwise, till even the philosophical little blue stockings began to lose heart and hope. at last, one evening they heard the key click in the lock of the drawer, a stream of light flashed into their darkness, and they were seized and drawn forth. "well, mother, let us see thy purchase. truly fine hosen they are," said jacob wendte, whose english was rather foreign. "yes," replied his wife. "good, handsome stockings they are, and the children will be glad, for their old ones are about worn out. the big pair is for wilhelm, as thou knowest. those must hang to the right of the stove." the big gray pair cast a triumphant glance at his companions as he found himself suspended on a stout nail. this _was_ something like life! "the white are for greta, and these small ones for little jan. ah, they are nice gifts indeed!" said mrs. wendte, rubbing her hands. "a fine christmas they will be for the children." the stockings glowed with pleasure. not only were they hung up to contain presents, but they themselves were christmas gifts! this was promotion indeed. "hast thou naught else?" demanded jacob wendte of his wife. "no great things; a kerchief for greta, this comforter for wilhelm, for the little one, mittens. that is all." but it was not quite all, for after her husband had gone to bed, mrs. wendte, a tender look on her motherly face, sought out a small, screwed-up paper, and with the air of one who is a little ashamed of what she is doing, dropped into each stocking a something made of sugar. they were not sugar almonds, they were not salem gibraltars,--which delightful confections are unfamiliar to london shops,--but irregular lumps of a nondescript character, which were crumbly and sweet, and would be sure to please those who did not often get a taste of candy. it was of little jan that his mother had thought when she bought the sweetmeats, and for his sake she had yielded to the temptation, though she looked upon it as an extravagance. there were three of the sweetmeats--two white, one pink--and the pink one went into jan's stockings. mrs. wendte had not said anything about them to her husband. "well, this is satisfactory," said the gray pair, when mrs. wendte had left the room, and he was sure of not being overheard. "here we are all hanging together on christmas eve. my dream is accomplished." "mine isn't," said the white pair plaintively. "i always hoped that i should hold something valuable, like a watch or a pair of earrings. it is rather a come-down to have nothing but a bit of candy inside, and a pocket handkerchief pinned to my leg. i don't half like it. it gives me an uncomfortable pricking sensation, like a stitch in the side." "it's just as well for you to get used to it," put in the gray. "it doesn't prick as much as a darning-needle, i fancy, and you'll have to get accustomed to that before long, as i've remarked before." "i'm the only one who has a pink sweetmeat," said the little blues, who couldn't help being pleased. "and i'm for a real child. wilhelm and greta are more than half grown up." "real children are very hard on their stockings, i've always heard," retorted the white pair, who never could resist the temptation to say a disagreeable thing. "that may be, but it is all in the future. this one night is my own, and i mean to enjoy it," replied the contented little blues. so the night went, and now it was the dawn of christmas. with the first light the door opened softly and a little boy crept into the room. this was jan. when he saw the three pairs of stockings hanging by the stove, he clapped his hands together, but softly, lest the noise should wake the others. then he crossed the room on tiptoe and looked hard at the stockings. he soon made sure which pair was for himself, but he did not take them down immediately, only stood with his hands behind his back and gazed at them with two large, pleased eyes. at last he put his hand up and gently touched the three, felt the little blue pair, gave it a pat, and finally unhooked it from its nail. then he sat down on the floor, and began to put them on. his toe encountering an obstacle, he pulled the stocking off again, put his hand in, and extracted the pink sweetmeat, with which he was so pleased that he laughed aloud. that woke up the others, who presently came in. "ah, little rogue that thou art! always the first to waken," said his mother, pleased at his pleasure. "see, mother! see what i found!" he cried. "it is good--sweet! i have tasted a crumb already. take some of it, mother." but mrs. wendte shook her head. "no," she said. "i do not care for sugar. that is for little folks like thee. eat it thyself, jan." it was her saying this, perhaps, which prevented wilhelm and greta from making the same offer,--at least, i hope so. certain it is that neither of them made it. greta ate hers up on the spot, with the frank greediness of a girl of twelve who does not often get candy. wilhelm buttoned his up in his trousers pocket. all three made haste to put on the new stockings. the three pairs had only time to hastily whisper as they were separated,-- "to-night perhaps we may meet again." the pink sweetmeat went into the pocket of jan's jacket, and he carried it about with him all the morning. he did not eat it, because once eaten it would be gone, and it was a greater pleasure to have it to look forward to, than to enjoy it at the moment. jan was a thrifty little boy, as you perceive. being christmas, it was of course an idle day. jacob wendte never knew what to do with such. there was his pipe, and there was beer to be had, so in default of other occupation, he amused himself with these. mrs. wendte had her hands full with the dinner, and was frying sausages and mixing yorkshire pudding all the morning. only greta went to church. she belonged to a parish-school where they gave christmas prizes, and by no means intended to lose her chance; but, apart from that, she really loved church-going, for she spoke english and understood it better than either of the other children. wilhelm went off on errands of his own. little jan spent the morning in admiring his stockings, and in wrapping and unwrapping his precious sweetmeat, and taking it out of his pocket and putting it in again. "why dost thou not eat it, dear?" asked his mother, as she lifted the frying-pan from the stove. but he answered: "oh! not yet. when once it is eaten, it is over. i will wait." "how long wilt thou wait?" she asked. jan said bashfully, "i don't know." in truth, he had not made up his mind about the sweetmeat, only he felt instinctively that he did not want to hurry, and shorten his pleasure. dinner over, he went out for a walk. every now and then, as he marched along, his hand would steal into his pocket to finger his precious candy and make sure that it was safe. it was a gray afternoon, but not snowing or raining. hyde park was not too far away for a walk, and jan went there. the serpentine was skimmed over with ice just strong enough to bear boys, and quite a little crowd was sliding or skating upon it. jan could skate very well. he had learned in holland, but he made no attempt to join the crowd. he was rather shy of english boys, for they sometimes laughed at his hollander clothes or his dutch accent, and he did not like to be laughed at. so he strolled away, past the serpentine and the skaters, and watched the riders in the row for a while. there were not a great many, for people who ride are apt to be out of london at the christmas time; but there were some pretty horses, and one fair little girl on a pony who took jan's fancy very much. he stood for a long time watching her trot up and down, and the idea occurred to him that he would like to give her his sweetmeat. he even put his hand into his pocket and half pulled it out; but the little girl did not look his way, and presently her father, with whom she was riding, spoke to her, and she turned her horse's head and trotted off through the marble arch. jan dropped the sugarplum again into his pocket, and felt as if his sudden fancy had been absurd; and indeed i think the little girl would have been surprised and puzzled what to do had he carried out the intention. after the pony and his little mistress had departed, jan lost his interest in the riders, and walked away across the park. once he stopped to look at a dear little dog with a blue collar, who seemed to have lost his master, for he was wandering about by himself, and smelling everybody and everything he met, as if to recover a lost trail. jan called him. he came up in a very friendly way and allowed himself to be patted; and once more the sweetmeat was in danger, for jan had taken it out with the intention of dividing it with this new friend, when a whistle was heard which the little dog evidently recognized, and he darted off at once to join his master. so again the pink sweetmeat was put back into jan's pocket, and he walked on. he had gone quite a distance when he saw a number of people collected round the foot of a tree. a ladder was set against one of the lower branches, and a man had climbed up nearly to the top of the tree. jan, like a true boy, lost no time in joining the crowd, but at first he could not make out what was going on. the boughs were thick. all that he could see was the man's back high up overhead, and what he was doing he could not guess. a benevolent-looking old gentleman stood near, and jan heard him exclaim with great excitement: "there, he's got him! no, he's not; but it was a close shave!" "got what, sir?" he ventured to ask. "why, the rook, to be sure." then, seeing that jan still looked puzzled, he took the trouble to explain. "you see that rook up there, my lad, don't you?" jan had not seen any rook at all! "well it is caught in some way, how, i can't tell you, but it can't get away from the tree. it has been there three days, they say, and all that time the other rooks have brought food to it, and kept it from starving. now some one has gone up to see what is the difficulty, and, if possible, to set the poor thing free." "thank you, sir," said jan. and the old gentleman looked at him kindly, and said to himself:-- "a very civil, tidy little lad! i like his face." jan had now become deeply interested in what was going on. he stood on tiptoe, and stretched his neck; but all he could see was the man's back and one of his feet, and now and then the movement of a stick with which the man seemed to be trying to hit something. at last there was a great plunge and a rustling of branches, and people began to hurrah. jan hurrahed too, though he still saw nothing very clearly; but it is easier to shout when other boys shout, if you happen to be a boy, than it is to keep still. slowly the man in the tree began to come down. he had only one hand to help himself with now, for the other held the heavy rook. we in america do not know what rooks are like, but in england they are common enough. they are large black birds, something like our crows, but they look wiser, and are a good deal bigger. as the man neared the ground, every one in the crowd could see what had been the matter with the rook. a kite-string, caught among the tree branches, had tangled his legs and held him fast. he had pulled so hard in his efforts to escape that the string had cut into one of his legs and half broken it. it was stiff and bleeding, and the rook could neither fly nor hop. people searched in their pockets, and one little girl, who had a half biscuit, began to feed the rook, who, for all the kindly efforts of his friends, seemed to be half-famished. the poor thing was too weak to struggle or be frightened, and took the crumbs eagerly from the girl's hand. jan thought of his sweetmeat, and took it out for the third time. everybody was crowding round the man who held the rook, and he could not get near. a very tall policeman stood in front of him. jan pulled his arm, and when he turned, handed him the sweetmeat, and said in his soft foreign english:-- "for the bird, sir." "thank you, my dear," said the policeman. he had not understood what jan said, and in an abstracted way, with his eyes still fixed on the rook, he bit the pink sweetmeat in two, and swallowed half of it at a mouthful. fortunately jan did not see this, for the policeman's back was turned to him; but observing that the man made no attempt to go forward, he pulled his sleeve for the second time, and again said:-- "for the bird, i said, sir." this time the policeman heard, and taking one step forward, he held the remaining half of the sweetmeat out to the rook, who, having by this time grown used to being fed, took the offered dainty greedily. jan saw the last pink crumb vanish into the long beak, but he felt no regret. his heart had been touched by the suffering of the poor bird, and he was glad to give what he could to make it forget those painful days in the tree. so that was the end of the pink sweetmeat, or not quite the end. the kind old gentleman to whom jan had spoken, had noticed the little transaction with the policeman. he was shrewd as well as kind. he guessed by jan's clothes that he was a working-man's son, to whom sweets were not an every-day affair, and the generous act pleased him. so he put his hand into _his_ pocket, pulled out a half-crown, and watching his opportunity, dropped it into jan's pocket, quite empty now that the sweetmeat was gone. then, with a little chuckle, he walked away, and jan had no suspicion of what had been done to him. gradually the crowd dispersed, jan among the rest walking briskly, for he wanted to get home and tell his mother the story. it was not till after supper that he discovered the half-crown, and then it seemed to him like a sort of dream, as if fairies had been at work, and turned the pink sweetmeat into a bit of silver. that night the three pairs of stockings had another chance for conversation. the blue ones and the gray ones lay close together on the floor of the room where jan slept with his brother, and the white ones, which greta had carelessly dropped as she jumped into bed, were near enough the half-opened door to talk across the sill. "it has been an exciting day," said the white pair. "my girl got a keble's 'christian year' at her school. it was the second-best prize. it is a good thing to belong to respectable people who take prizes. only one thing was painful to me: she wriggled her toes so with pleasure that i feel as if i were coming to an end in one of my points." "you probably are," remarked the big gray. "yes, now that i examine, i can see the place. one stitch has parted already, and there is quite a thin spot. you know i always predicted that you would be in the rag-bag before you knew it." "oh, don't say such dreadful things," pleaded the little blues. "mrs. wendte will mend her, i am sure, and make her last. what did your girl do with her sweetmeat?" "ate it up directly, of course. what else should one do with a sweetmeat?" snapped the white pair crossly. "oh, dear! my toe feels dreadfully ever since you said that; quite neuralgic!" "my boy was not so foolish as to eat his sweetmeat," said the big gray stockings. "only girls act in that way, without regard to anything but their greedy appetites. he traded his with another boy, and he got a pocket-knife for it, three screws, and a harmonica. there!" "was the knife new?" asked the blue. "could the harmonica play any music?" demanded the white. "no; the harmonica is out of order inside somehow, but perhaps my boy can mend it. and the knife isn't new--quite old, in fact--and its blade is broken at the end; still, it's a knife, and wilhelm thinks he can trade it off for something else. and now for your adventures. what did _your_ boy do with his sweetmeat, little blues? did he eat it, or trade it?" "it is eaten," replied the blue stockings cautiously. "eaten! then of course he ate it. why don't you speak out? if he ate it, say so. if he didn't, who did?" "well, nobody ate the whole of it, and my boy didn't eat any. it was divided between two persons--or rather, between one person and--and--a thing that is not a person." "bless me! what are you talking about? i never heard anything so absurd in my life. persons, and things that are not persons," said the white pair; "what do you mean?" "yes; what _do_ you mean? what is the use of beating about the bush in this way?" remonstrated the big gray pair. "who did eat the sweetmeat? say plainly." "half of it was eaten by a policeman, and the other half by a rook," replied the little blues, in a meek voice. "ho, ho!" roared the gray stockings, while the white pair joined in with a shrill giggle. "that beats all! half by a policeman, and half by a rook! a fine way to dispose of a christmas sweetmeat! your boy must be a fool, little blues." "not a fool at all," said the blue pair indignantly. "now just listen to me. your girl ate hers up at once, and forgot it. your boy traded his away; and what has he got? a broken knife, and a harmonica that can't play music. i don't call those worth having. my boy enjoyed his sweetmeat all day. he had more pleasure in giving it away than if he had eaten it ten times over! besides, he got half a crown for it. an old gentleman slipped it into his pocket because he was pleased with his kind heart. i saw him do it." "half a crown!" ejaculated the white pair, with amazement. "that _is_ something like," admitted the big gray stockings. "your boy did the best of the three, i admit." the little blues said no more. presently the others fell asleep, but she lay and watched jan as he rested peacefully beside his brother, with his wonderful treasure--the silver coin--clasped tight in his hand. he smiled in his sleep as though his dreams were pleasant. "even if he had no half-crown, still he would have done the best," she whispered to herself at last. then the clock struck twelve, and the day after christmas was begun. etelka's choice. etelka lived on the very borders of the fairy country. it may be that some of you do not believe that there are any such beings as fairies. in fact, it is not easy to hold to one's faith in them when one lives in such a country as this of ours. fairies are the shyest of creatures; shyer than the wood-dove, shyer than the glancing dragon-fly. they love silence, seclusion, places where they can sport unseen with no intruding voice or step to startle them: when man comes they go. and i put it to you whether it is likely that they can enjoy themselves in the united states, where every forest with any trees in it worth cutting down is liable at any moment to be attacked by an army of wood-choppers; where streams are looked upon as "water power," lakes as "water supply," and ponds as suitable places for the breeding of fish; where distance is brought near by railroads, and solitudes only mean a chance for a settler; where people are always poking about the hills and mountains in search of coal mines or silver mines, and prodding the valleys in hopes of oil wells, and where silence generally means an invitation to a steam-whistle of one kind or another? but where etelka lived no one doubted the reality of fairies any more than they did that of human beings. her home was in bohemia, in the outskirts of the _boehmer-wald_, a vast, unpeopled tract of mountainous country thickly wooded, full of game, and seldom visited except by hunting-parties in pursuit of stags or wild boars. etelka's people were of mixed sclavonic and gypsy origin. they cultivated a patch of land under the stewardship of a lord who never came near his estate, but this was only their ostensible occupation; for poaching or smuggling goods across the frontier brought in a great deal more money to them than did farming. there were three sons, marc, jocko, and hanserl; etelka was the only girl. they were lithe, sinewy young fellows, with the swarthy skins and glittering black eyes which belonged to their gypsy blood, and something furtive and threatening in their looks, but she was different. her hair and eyes were of a warm brown, her features were delicate, and their expression was wistful and sweet. all summer long she ran about with her slender feet and ankles bare. a thin little cotton gown and a bead necklace composed her wardrobe for the warmer months. in winter she wore woollen stockings and wooden shoes, a stuff petticoat and a little shawl. she was always shabby, often ragged, and on cold days scarcely ever warm enough to be comfortable; but she somehow looked pretty in her poor garments, for beauty is the gift of heaven, and quite as often sent to huts as to palaces. no one had ever told etelka that she was pretty, except indeed young sepperl of the mill, whom she had seen now and again on her semi-annual visits to the neighboring village to dispose of her yarn, and he had said more with his eyes than with his tongue! to her family it made no difference whatever whether she was pretty or not. they preferred to have her useful, and they took care that she should be so. she spun and sewed, she cleaned the pots and pans, cooked the rye porridge and the cabbage soup, and rarely got a word of thanks for her pains. her brothers flung her their jackets to mend or their game to dress, without a word of ceremony; if she had refused or delayed to attend to their wants she would have got a rough word, a curse, or perhaps a blow. but etelka never refused; she was a willing little creature, kindly and cheerful, and had no lazy blood in her veins. so early and late she worked for them all, and her chief, almost her only pleasure was when, her tasks despatched, she could escape from the hut with its atmosphere of smoke and toil, and get away into the forest by herself. when once the green and fragrant hush of the high-arched thickets closed her in, she would give a sigh of relief, and a sense of being at home took possession of her. she did not feel it in the hut, though she called that home, and it was the only one she had ever known. did etelka believe in fairies? indeed she did! she had a whole volume of stories about them at her tongue's end. her great-grandmother had seen them often; so had her great-aunt. the mother of dame gretel, the wise woman of the village, who herself passed for a witch, had been on intimate terms for a long time with a hoary little kobold who had taught her all manner of marvellous things. the same fortunate woman had once seen rubesal, the mountain demon, and had left an account of him and his looks, which were exactly those of a charcoal-burner. etelka knew the very hollow where dame gretel's mother used to sit and listen to the teachings of the kobold, and could point out the ring where a number of the "good people" had once been seen moving a mystic dance, their wings glancing in the darkness like fire-flies. she, herself, had never seen a fairy or a kobold, it is true; everybody was not thus fortunate, but she might some day, who knew? and meantime she had often heard them whispering and sighing in their odd little voices close beside her. you may be sure that etelka believed in fairies. it was one reason why she liked so well to go to the great forest, which was their well-known abiding-place. one day the desire to escape from home was unusually strong upon her. her mother was out of sorts for some reason and had been particularly harsh. her father, who sometimes stood her friend, had gone to the village with a bundle of hare-skins which he hoped to trade for oil and brandy. her brothers, who had some private expedition on foot, had kept her running since early morning. she had grown tired and a little cross at their many exactions, and when, finally, all was made ready, and they set out with their guns and snares and a knapsack full of food, and her mother, sitting with her pipe beside the fire, had fallen into a doze, etelka gladly closed the door behind her and stole away. the soup was simmering in its pot, the bowls were ready set on the table. she would not be missed. for an hour or two she might feel that she belonged to herself. the forest felt deliciously cool and still as she walked fast up the little glade which led to the fairy spring. this was a small pool of clear water, bubbling strongly up from a sandy bottom, and curiously walled round with smooth stones, which seemed fitted and joined by the labor of man, though in reality they were a freak of nature. etelka sat herself down on this stony rim, dipped her hands in the water and sprinkled a little on her hot forehead. a tall spear of feathery grass grew just by. presently it began to bend and sway as if wind-blown, and dance lightly up and down before her face. she took no notice at first; then it occurred to her, as no wind was blowing anywhere else, it was odd that this particular grass-blade should be in such active motion. "how queer," she said, looking hard at the grass-blade; "it seems to be alive!" a shrill, small laugh echoed her words, and suddenly, as if her eyes had been magically opened to see, she became aware that a tiny shape in green, with a pointed cap on its head, was sitting upon the blade of grass and moving it to and fro with hand and foot. the little countenance under the cap was full of mischief and malice, and the bright eyes regarded her with a strange glee. etelka knew instantly that her wish had come true, and that at last she was face to face with a veritable fairy. "oh!" was all she could say in her amazement. "well, stupid, do you know who i am?" asked the creature in a voice as shrill as its laugh. "yes, mein herr," faltered etelka. "here you have gone about all your days wishing you could see a fairy," continued the small creature, "and there we were close by all the time, and you never opened your eyes to look. how do you like me now you do see me?" "very much, herr fairy," replied etelka, gaining courage. "i think you are beautiful." the fairy seemed pleased at this compliment, which was evidently sincere. "thou art a good maiden enough, as maidens go," he said, accosting her more familiarly. "i have long had my eye on thee, etelklein. i have sat up in the roof-thatch and heard jocko and hanserl scold and hector, and the mother order thee about, and i have noted that thou wast almost always kind and humble, and seldom answered them back again. thou art neat-handed, too, and that we fairies think much of. many a drink of good new milk have i had, which i should have missed hadst thou forgotten to scour the pail. so now in return i will do something for thee. listen. "thou must know that each fairy of the _boehmer-wald_ has the privilege once every hundred years of granting one wish to a mortal. all do not exercise it. some crabbed ones do not like the human folk enough to be willing to do them a good turn, others again are too lazy or too pleasure-loving to go out of their way for the purpose. i am neither of these. now, hearken. i will give thee the power that every time thou dancest a piece of gold shall lie under thy foot--or, instead of the gold, a flower shall spring up out of the ground; which wilt thou have?" "yes; which wilt thou have?" cried another sharp voice, and a second fairy appeared, out of the air as it were, and seated himself on the very tip of the grass-blade. "don't be in a hurry. think a bit before you choose, etelka. why, child, what are you looking so scared about?" for etelka had grown pale, and had not been able to repress a little scream at this sudden apparition. she rallied her courage and tried to look brave, but her heart misgave her. was the wood full of these unseen creatures? "it is only my gossip," explained fairy number one. "thimblerig is his name. mine is pertzal. he usually comes after me wherever i go. you needn't be afraid of _him_. now, gold-piece or flower--decide." etelka was in a whirl of confusion. it was dreadful to have to make up her mind all in a moment about such an important thing. her thoughts flew to sepperl of the mill. he was fond of flowers, she knew; the mill garden was always full of blue flax, poppies, and lavender, and sepperl spent all his spare hours in working over it. suppose--suppose--the thing over which she had sometimes shyly glowed and blushed were to happen, how pleasant it would be to dance flowers all day long for sepperl! then her mind reverted to the hut, to her mother and the boys, who were always craving after the luxuries of life which they could not have, and fiercely envying those who were better off than themselves. would they not be happier and better and kinder for the gold which she had it in her power to give them? they would not forgive her if she lost such a chance, that she knew. and even so far as sepperl went, gold never came amiss to a poor man's door. so many things could be bought with it. "one cannot eat flowers," said etelka to herself with a sigh; yet still she hesitated, and her heart felt heavy within her. "choose," repeated the two fairies, each echoing the other. "i choose the gold-piece," said etelka. the fairy faces clouded over as she spoke, and she knew she had chosen wrong. "very well," said pertzal, "have thy wish." he vanished as he spoke. etelka sat alone by the bubbling spring, and she rubbed her eyes and asked herself if it were not all a dream. "i will put it to the test," she thought; and jumping up she began to dance beneath the trees, slowly and doubtfully at first, and then with swift and joyful bounds and steps, for as she danced, ever and anon upon the ground beneath her feet appeared a glittering coin. she danced so long that when at last she ceased she sank down exhausted. the beautiful yellow pieces lay thickly around her, some larger, some smaller, as if their size depended upon the vigor of her movements. she had never dreamed of such wealth before, and she gathered them up and tied them in the corner of her shawl, half-fearing they might turn to brass or pebbles; but when she neared home and looked at them again they were still gold. her mother was standing at the door with a black look on her face. "where hast thou been, thou idle baggage?" she demanded. "i drop asleep for one moment, and when i wake the fire is well-nigh out." etelka glanced at the setting sun. in her excitement she had not marked the flight of time. it was much later than she had supposed. "i am sorry," she faltered. then, to appease her mother's anger, she untied the corner of her shawl and showed the fairy money. "see what i have brought," she said; "they are all for thee." the old woman fairly gasped in her surprise. "gold!" she cried, clutching the coins which etelka held out. "real gold! more than i ever saw before. where didst get it, girl? who gave it thee?" "the fairies!" exclaimed etelka joyfully. "and they taught me how to get more when we are again in need." "do you dare to make a mock of me?" screamed her mother, aiming a blow at her with the staff which she held in her hand. "fairies indeed! a fine story! tell the truth, hussy. didst thou meet some count in the forest--or the landgrave himself?" "i met nobody," persisted etelka, "no one at all except the fairy and the other fairy, and it was they who gave me the gift." her mother's staff descended with a whack on her shoulder. "get thee in," she said harshly. "thou are lying." but she held fast to the gold all the same, and when etelka's back was turned she hid it secretly away. so the first fruit of the fairy gift was a blow! later, when the father came back from the village, there was another scene of severity and suspicion. neither of etelka's parents believed her story. they treated her like a culprit who will not confess his guilt. it was worse yet when her brothers returned the following day. in vain she wept and protested, in vain she implored them to believe her. "it's easy enough to talk," jocko declared at last, "but to prove thy words is not so easy. if thou hast the power to dance gold-pieces into existence, why, face to work and dance! then we shall know whether or not to believe thee." strange to say, this method of proving her veracity had not occurred to etelka's mind. after her troubled sleep and unhappy day she had begun to feel that the interview with the fairies was no more than a dream, and she scarcely ventured on the test, dreading that the strange gift bestowed upon her might have been withdrawn. slowly and fearfully she began to dance, while her family watched every movement with eyes of scornful incredulity. suddenly marc, uttering a great oath, stooped and picked up something from the hard-trodden earthen floor. it was a gold-piece! "by heavens!" he exclaimed, "the girl spoke true! or"--with a return of suspicion--"is it one of those she gave thee which thou hast dropped?" turning to his mother. but as etelka, with heart suddenly grown lighter, went on bounding and twirling, one shining coin after another shone out on the floor beneath her feet, and with howls and screams of joy her relatives precipitated themselves upon them. it seemed as if they could never have enough. if etelka paused to rest they urged her on. "dance thou!" they cried. "dance, etelklein, liebchen, susschen, darling of our hearts, do not stop! keep on till we are all rich." one hour, two, passed, and still etelka obeyed their eager behest and danced on. the boys' pockets, her father's pouch, her mother's lap were full, and yet they demanded more. at last, quite worn out, she sank in a heap on the ground. "i cannot take another step," she sighed. "oh, well," jocko reluctantly admitted, "that may do for to-night. to-morrrow we will have some more of it." from that day all was changed for the family in the forest hut. every one, except etelka, fell to work straightway to squander the fairy gold. the sons made expeditions to the distant town, and came back laden with goods of the most incongruous kinds,--silks, velvets, tobacco, gold-embroidered caps, bonbons, carved pipes, gayly painted china, gilt clocks, toys of all descriptions; anything and everything which had pleased their untutored fancy. the father and mother smoked all day long, till the air of the hut was dense and stifling. brandy and _kirsch-wasser_ flowed in streams. etelka alone profited nothing from the fairy gift. to be sure she had her share of the dainties which the others devoured, and her brothers now and then tossed her a ribbon or a brightly colored handkerchief; but for these she did not much care, and her liberty, for which she did care, was greatly abridged. no longer was she suffered to wander at will in the forest. she had become too precious for that. something might happen to her, they all declared, a bear or a wolf might come along and attack her, or she might slip and sprain her ankle, which, so far as they were concerned, would be just as bad! no, etelka must run no risks; she must stay at home, and be ready to dance for them whenever they needed her. the slender limbs grew very weary, and the heart which gave them life was often heavy, as time went on, and more and more gold was needed to satisfy the exactions of her family. money easily won is still more easily spent. the fairy gold melted fast in the rapacious fingers which clutched it. soon--for appetite grows by what it feeds upon--the little hut no longer sufficed the growing ambition of etelka's brothers. it was too poor, too lonely, too everything, they declared; they must all remove to budweis or linz; the city was the only fit place for people to live in who had money to spend. etelka was not consulted. she was ordered to pack this and that, and to leave the other behind, that was all, and was made to dance a few extra hours to pay the travelling expenses. all the homely old furniture was left in the hut, as not smart enough for the grand city home they were going to. they took only the things they had bought since their good luck began; but these filled a great cart, on the top of which etelka and her mother were perched. she cast one last look toward her beloved forest, to which she had not been allowed a farewell visit. jocko cracked his long whip, the oxen slowly moved forward. "good-by to everything," said etelka in her heart, but she dared not say it aloud. a quick pang shot through her as they passed the mill garden, gay with flowers, where sepperl, hoe in hand, was standing. his eyes met hers with deep and silent reproach, then were averted. she did not understand, but it made her very sad. no one had told her that a few weeks before, sepperl had asked her in marriage of her father, and had been roughly refused. such an offer would have been looked upon as unheard-of good fortune six months previously; now it was regarded almost as an insult! marry etelka! take their gold-earner away from them! it was out of the question. what was the fool thinking of? but etelka heard nothing of all this. haunted by the recollection of sepperl's wistful glance, she went her way with the others. little heart had she for the new home which seemed to them so fine. it was high up in an old building, overlooking a crowded street. the rooms seemed very large and empty after the forest hut, and the first care of the family was to furnish them. with reckless disregard of good taste as well as of expense, marc and jocko and hanserl rushed away to the market and the shops, and presently the stairs began to fill with porters bringing up all manner of things,--beds and chairs and tables, gaudy carpets for the floors, ill-painted pictures in showy frames for the walls, a piano on which none of them knew how to play, a music-box of extraordinary size which could play without assistance, looking-glasses, lamps, wonderful china figures, a parrot in a gilded cage, with a dreadful command of profane language. the rooms were filled and more than filled in no time, and for the payment of all these things etelka must dance! and dance she did, but with a heavy heart and no spring in her feet. accustomed to the quiet of the forest neighborhood, the sounds and smells of the city oppressed her greatly. the crowd and bustle frightened her, the roar of noise kept her awake at night, she felt as if she could not breathe. things grew worse rather than better. their extravagance provoked notice, and the fame of their riches and their ignorance soon brought about them a crew of tempters and needy adventurers. men with evil eyes and sly greedy faces began to appear at all hours, to smoke and drink with marc and jocko, to gamble with them and win their money. much money did they win, and all that was lost etelka must make good. with her will or without it, she must dance,--dance always to content her rapacious kindred. they could hardly endure to spare her for the most needful rest. time and again when she had sunk exhausted on her bed to sleep, while dice rattled and glasses clinked in the next room, hanserl or jocko had rushed in to awaken her roughly and demand that she should get up at once and dance. stumbling and half blind with drowsiness the poor girl would do her best, but her movements being less brisk and buoyant, the coins would be of smaller value, and she would be sworn at for her pains, and threatened with dire penalties if she did not do better next time. no wonder that under this treatment she grew pale and thin. the pretty cheeks lost their roundness, the pink faded from them, her eyes were dull and lustreless. a great homesickness took possession of her. night and day she pined for the forest hut. so wan and unhappy was she, that even the hard hearts of those who profited by her should have been touched by it; but no one noticed her looks or cared that she was unhappy, so long as she would keep on dancing and coin gold for them. at last came a day when she could not rise from her bed. marc came and threatened her, he even pulled her on to her feet, but it was in vain; she fell down with weakness and could not stand. alarmed at last, jocko hastened after a doctor. he came, felt etelka's pulse, shook his head. "what has she been doing?" he asked. nothing, they told him, nothing at all! then he shook his head still more portentously. "ah, well, in that case it is all of no use," he said. "she is all given out. she must die." and now indeed those who had let etelka tire herself to death for them were thoroughly frightened. with her would perish all their hopes, for the gold she had earned for them had been spent as fast as made; nothing had been laid up. they took wonderfully good care of her now. there was nothing she fancied that they would not willingly have brought her; but all the poor child asked for was to be left alone and suffered to lie still, not to be forced to keep on with that weary dancing! gradually the spent flame of life flickered feebly upward within her, and as she gained a little in strength, a longing after the forest took possession of her. the wish seemed utterly foolish to her family, but they would not refuse it, for their one desire was to have her get well and able to earn gold for them again. so the big wagon and the oxen were hired, etelka on her bed was laid carefully in it, marc took the goad, and slowly, slowly, the sick girl was carried back to her old home. all was unchanged there. dust lay thickly on the rude furniture which had been left behind, on the pots and pans which hung upon the wall, but no one had meddled with them or lifted the latch of the door since the family went away. the cool hush and stillness of the place was like a balm to etelka's overstrained nerves. she slept that night as she had not slept for weeks, and on the morrow was visibly stronger. marc did not stay with her long. the quiet of the hut disgusted him, and after enduring it for a day or two he went back to the others in the city, leaving etelka alone with her father and mother. he gave strict orders that he was to be sent for the moment that etelka was able to use her feet again. then, indeed, she must fall to work and dance to make up for all this wasted time. poor etelka rejoiced to see him go. she had learned to fear her brothers and almost to dislike them. the day after he went, she begged her father to carry her in his arms to the edge of the forest and lay her under a tree. she wanted to feel the wind in her face again, she said. he consented at last, though grumbling a little at the trouble. etelka was comfortably placed on a bear-skin under the shade of a spreading fir, and after a while, as her eyes were closed and she seemed to be asleep, her father stole away and left her. she was in full sight of the hut, so there seemed no danger in leaving her alone. but etelka was not asleep. she was thinking with all her might, thinking of the fairy, wishing she could see him again and ask him to undo the fatal gift which had brought such misery into her life. suddenly, as she lay thinking these thoughts, her cheek was tickled sharply. she opened her eyes. there stood the same odd little figure in green which she had seen before; as then a grass-blade was in his hand, and leaning over his shoulder was his gossip thimblerig. etelka almost screamed in her joy. "thou seemest pleased to see us," remarked pertzal with a mocking smile. "oh, i am glad, indeed i am," cried poor etelka. "dear kind herr fairy, have pity! don't let me dance gold any more!" "what! tired already? what queer creatures mortals be!" began pertzal teasingly; but the kinder thimblerig interposed. "tired of her gift, of course she is! you knew she would be when you gave it, gossip! don't plague the poor child. look how thin she has grown. but, etelka, i must tell thee that when once a fairy has granted to a mortal his wish, he has no power to take it back again." "what!" cried etelka in despair, "must i then go on dancing forever till i die?" "he cannot take it back," repeated thimblerig. "but do not cry so; there is another way. a second fairy can grant a wish which will contradict the first, and so all may be made right. now, etelka, i have a kindness for thee as well as pertzal here, and like him i have the right to grant a favor to a mortal. now, listen. dance thee never so well or dance thee never so long, from henceforward shall never gold-piece lie under foot of thine for all thy dancing! and, furthermore, if ever thou art married to a man whom thou lovest, i endow thee with this gift, that when thou dancest with will and because thy heart is light, violets and daisies and all sweet blossoms shall spring at thy tread, till all about thee is as a garden." "now i will add this piece of advice," said pertzal, grinning maliciously. "if ever this does happen, hold thy tongue about thy gift to thy husband. the best of men can hardly resist the temptation of making money out of their womenkind,--safety lies in silence." "oh, how can i thank you?" sighed etelka. "thank us by being happy," said thimblerig. then the fairies faded from sight, and etelka was alone. i have not time to tell of the wrath of etelka's father and mother and brothers, when, as she grew strong enough to dance again for their bidding, it was found that no gold-pieces followed her light steps, and that the fairy gift had been withdrawn. their ill-humor and discontent made the life of the hut worse than ever it had been before. etelka sank into her former insignificance. very willingly and faithfully she worked for them all, but she could not win them to content. one after another the boys departed from home. marc enlisted as a soldier, jocko joined a party of smugglers and disappeared over the italian frontier, hanserl took service with the charcoal-burners high up on the mountains. when sepperl of the mill asked again for etelka's hand in marriage the following year, there was no question as to what answer should be given him. her father was only too glad to say yes. etelka was made happy at last. she had been a wife several months before she made trial of her second fairy gift. it was one evening when she and sepperl were in their garden, and he was telling her his plans with regard to a bit of waste land which he had lately fenced in. "it will take many roots and seeds to make it like the rest," he remarked, "but little by little we can do it without feeling the cost, and in the end it will be the best of all." then, with a sudden flash in her eyes, etelka left her husband and began to dance. to and fro over the bare earth she sped with quick graceful steps, now advancing, now retreating, now describing circles, with her arm poised above her head like wings and her laughing eyes fixed on sepperl. he was puzzled by this freak on the part of his pretty wife, but stood watching her with great admiration, her cheeks were so flushed, and her movements so light and dainty. she stopped at last, came to him, and laid her hand on his arm. [illustration: then with a sudden flash in her eyes, etelka left her husband and began to dance.--_page _.] "now look," she said. and lo! where had been bare, brown earth a half-hour before, was now a green sward enamelled all over with buttercups, violets, pink-and-white michaelmas daisies, and pansies of every shade of gold and purple. sepperl stood transfixed. "hast thou commerce with the elves?" he asked. but etelka did not reply. the words of pertzal recurred to her memory, "silence is safety," and they were like a wise hand laid on her lips. she only laughed like a silver bell, shook her head, and left on sepperl's cheek a happy kiss! the fir cones. an idyl of christmas eve. "well, the old tree has gone at last," said the farmer, as he latched the heavy door and began to stamp the snow from his boots. "what tree?" cried a girl's voice, as the whir of the busy wheel suddenly slackened. "oh, father, not the lovers' tree,--the old fir? surely thou canst not mean _that_?" "no other, hilda; the lovers' tree, under which thy mother and i exchanged our troth-plight more than twenty years back. hey, dame?" and he turned with a smile to where his wife sat in the sunset light, humming a low tune to the accompaniment of her clicking needles. she smiled back in answer. "yes, paul, and my mother as well; and thine too, i'll be bound, for she also was a brelau girl. all brelau knows the fir,--a hundred years old it was, they say." "more than that," said the farmer. "my grandfather courted his lass under its shade, and his father did the same. add a hundred and fifty to your hundred, and it won't be so far amiss, wife. but it has fallen at last. there'll be no more maidens wooed and won under the lovers' tree. thou hast lost thy chance, hilda." and he turned fondly to his girl. "that was indeed a terrible wind last night," went on the dame. "it rocked the bed till it waked me from my sleep. did it rouse thee also, liebchen?" but hilda responded neither to word nor look. she had left her wheel, had crossed the room, and now stood gazing from the window to where across the valley the green obelisk of the old fir had risen. men were moving about the spot where once it stood, and the ring of axes on the frosty air told that already the frugal peasantry were at work; and the pride of the village, confidant of many secrets, was in process of reduction to the level of vulgar fire-wood. in rushed two children. "hast thou heard the news?" they cried. "the lovers' tree is blown down! all the people are up there chopping. may we go too, and see them chop? we will bring home all the cones to build the christmas fire. ah, do let us go, mother; fir cones blaze so magnificently." "you are such little ones, you will get in the way of the axes and be hurt," replied their mother, fondling them. but the farmer said,-- "yes, let them go; we will all go. get thy cloak, ursula, and thy woollen hood. we will see the old tree once more before it is carried away. wilt thou come too, hilda?" but hilda shook her head, and did not turn or answer. the children rioted about, searching for baskets and fagot strings; but she neither moved nor spoke. then the door closed, and all was quiet in the cottage. but still hilda stood in the window, looking with dreamy, unseeing eyes across the valley to the opposite hillside. she was looking upon a picture,--a picture which nobody would ever see again; upon the venerable tree, beloved of all brelau, which for more years than men could count, had stood there watching the tide of human life ebb and flow, as some majestic old man might stand with children playing about his kindly knees. whole generations of lovers had held tryst under its shade. kisses had been interchanged, vows murmured,--the old, old story of human love, of human joy, of hope, of longing, of trust, had been repeated and repeated there, age after age, and still the old tree guarded its secrets well, as in days of greenest youth, and still bent to listen like a half-human friend. white arms clasped its trunk, soft cheeks were laid there, as if the rough bark could feel responsive thrill. two centuries of loving and listening had mellowed its heart. the boughs seemed to whisper meanings to those who sought their shade,--gay songs to the young, counsels to the burdened, benedictions to those who, bowed down with trouble, came, black-clad and sorrowful, to look across the valley where once the purple lights of hope had met their eyes. "wait," the rustling murmur seemed to say to such; "only wait--wait, as i have waited, and you shall be made exceedingly glad. behold, the day dawns and the shadows fly away!" and though the heavy heart might not comprehend the whispered words, something seemed lifted from the weight of sadness, and the mourners departed comforted, knowing not why. but not upon a vague picture only did hilda look. german girls can keep their own counsel as well as girls of other nations, and for all her father's joking she had not "lost her chance" under the lovers' tree. often had she sat there--sat there not alone--and now in thought she was there again. she heard a voice--she leaned to meet a kiss. "wilhelm," she faltered, and then the vision dissolved in a mist of hot and rushing tears. in the old fir she seemed to lose a friend, an intercessor. oh, why had this unhappy quarrel arisen? why had she and wilhelm loved at all, if only to be so unhappy in the end? but, in truth, it is very easy for lovers to quarrel. like particles of electric matter, the two natures near, attract, repel. the fire that leaps from either soul, responsive to kindred fire, fuses or destroys. a hint, a suspicion, jealousy, mistrust, the thousand and one small chances of life, come between, and all is over. only-- "the little pitted speck in garnered fruit" is needful. a trifle, or what seemed a trifle, had been the beginning of mischief between hilda and wilhelm, but the breach had slowly widened till now; when for weeks they had neither met nor spoken, and the idyl begun under summer boughs was withering in time of frost like summer flowers. to the old tree, and to him alone, did the girl confide her wretchedness. in his dumb ear she owned herself in the wrong. "why do you not say so?" the responsive murmur seemed to breathe. "wilhelm is true! wilhelm is kind! only a word, and all will be well." but pride laid his finger on her lips. she neglected the kindly monitor, the word came not, and now the dear old fir was gone; and thinking of all these things, hilda's heart was very sad. meantime upon the hillside a great crowd of people were assembled about the fallen trunk. old men and women, with wistful eyes, stood there; comely middle-aged pairs, surrounded by children; young girls and their bachelors; boys with fresh rosy faces and wondering eyes,--all alike had come to see once more the face of the village friend. merrily rang the axes upon the wood. some looked sad, some merry, as the work went on. there was much interchange of "do you remembers," much laughing and joking, a few tears. the children with their baskets ran about picking up the bright cones which once hung like a coronet upon the forehead of the fir. here and there a woman stooped for a chip or a small twig to carry away as relic. and then it began to grow dark. the people recollected themselves, as people will after doing a sentimental thing, and saw that it was time to go home. so in contented crowds they descended the hill to their suppers, and threw billets of the old fir on the fire, and beside the blaze partook of sausage and cheese, and laughed and gossiped no less merrily than usual, and the funeral of the old tree was over. "we will keep all our cones, and the big fagot which fritz tied up, until day after to-morrow," said little gretchen; "because, you know, day after to-morrow comes christmas eve, and the christ-child must be sure to find a good fire." no one gainsaid this, so the fagot was laid aside. all next day, and the next, did hilda labor busily, throwing herself with feverish energy into the christmas preparations. there was a plenty to do. the furniture must shine its brightest, veal and puddings must be made ready for spit and oven, green boughs be hung everywhere, and, above all, the tree must be prepared. hard and continually she worked, and as the sun set on the blessed eve all was in order. a vast fire crackled on the hearth of the "big room," thrown open in honor of the festival. its bright blaze was reflected back from the polished panels of the tall corner clock, and danced on the rosy apples and glossy filberts of the still unlighted tree, which stood, green and magnificent, beyond. little fruit of value did this wonderful tree bear. jackets, stockings, leather shoes, loaded the lower boughs; above was a flowering of warm hoods and gay neck-cloths, there was a wooden cow for gretchen, a trumpet of red tin for little paul; but the useful and the necessary predominated. tender hands had arranged all, had hung the many-colored tapers, crowned the whole with bright-berried stems, and, in the moss at the foot, laid reverently a tiny straw cradle, with waxen occupant, in memory of that resting-place in the bethlehem manger where once a "young child lay." and now, pale and tired, hilda stood gazing upon her finished work. "sister, sister!" clamored eager voices through the closed door, "hasn't the christ-child come yet?" "no, dears, not yet. go away and play quietly in the kitchen. i'll call you when he comes." the little footsteps retreated, and hilda seated herself before the fire with a weary sigh. it would be an hour or more before her father would return, and the lighting of the tree begin; so, leaning back in the high carved chair, she gave herself up to rest of body, leaving her mind to rove listlessly as it would. the basket of cones stood beside the hearth. half mechanically she stooped for a handful, and threw them on the blaze. then a certain drowsy peace came over her, broken only by the flickering noise of the burning cones. they did not burn like other cones, she thought, and even as the idea floated through her brain, a strange, phantasmal change passed over them. moving and blending, they began to build a picture in the heart of the fire,--the picture of a tree, drawn in flaming lines. hilda knew the tree. it was the old fir of brelau, complete in limb and trunk. and, as she gazed, figures formed themselves beneath the boughs,--figures as of people sitting there, which moved and scintillated, and, swaying toward each other, seemed to clasp and kiss. she uttered a low cry of pain. at the sound the scene shifted, the tree dissolved as in fiery rain, and the cones, raising themselves and climbing upward, stood ranged in a group on the topmost log, like a choir of musicians about to play. strange notes seemed to come from the blaze, low and humming, like a whispered prelude, then voices began to speak, or to sing--which was it?--in tones which sounded oddly near, and yet infinitely far away. it was like a chorus of elves sung to the accompaniment of rustling leaves. and all the time it went on, certain brightly flaming cones, which took precedence, emphasized the music with a succession of quick, glancing sparks, darting out like tiny finger-points, as if to attract attention. "look at us! look at us!" were the words of the strange _staccato_ chant which sounded from the fire. "we are all light and glorious as your love used to be,--used to be. it isn't so any longer." then other cones, half burned and crusted over with white ashes, pushed forward and took up the strain in sad recitative: "look at us! look at us, hilda! we are as your love is now,--is now. ah, there will be worse to come ere long!" and all the time they sang, glowing strongly from within, they fixed what seemed eyes, red and winking, on hilda's face. then the ashes from below, drifting upward in an odd, aimless way, formed themselves into a shadowy shape, and began to sing in low, muffled tones, full of sadness. "we are dead, hilda," was their song; "all dead! dead as your love will be--will be--before long." and at the close of the strain all the cones closed together, and emitted a sigh so profound and so melancholy that hilda started from her chair. tears stood upon her cheeks. she stared at the fire with strange excitement. it was burning quietly now, and without noise. she was certainly awake. had she been dreaming? just at that moment the latch of the door clicked slightly, and somebody entered, slowly, hesitatingly, propelled from behind by a childish figure. "hilda," said gretchen's voice, "here's wilhelm wanting to see the father. i told him to come in, because _perhaps_ the father was here, or else the mother." and gretchen's eyes explored the room in search of the christ-child, for a glimpse of whom she had resorted to this transparent device. then, alarmed by hilda's stony silence, she suddenly hung her head, and, rushing out, clapped the door behind her, and left the two alone. hilda gave a gasp of bewilderment. she could not move. was this part of the vision? wilhelm stole one furtive glance at her face, then dropped his eyes. for a moment perfect stillness prevailed, then, shifting uneasily from one leg to the other in his embarrassment, the young man muttered something undistinguishable, and turned. his hand was on the door,--a moment more and he would be gone. hilda started forward. "wilhelm!" she exclaimed, with the hoarse utterance of one who seeks to escape from some frightful dream. wilhelm turned. he saw the pale, agitated face, the eyes brimmed with tears, the imploring, out-stretched hands. another second and he held her in his arms. the familiar touch melted the ice of hilda's heart, her head sank upon his breast, and in a few broken words all was spoken and explained. so brief an interval and all life changed! the same intense feeling which drove them asunder drew them as inevitably together now that once the returning tides had chance to flow. clasped in close embrace, with tears and smiles and loving self-reproachings, they stood before the fire; and as they bent for their first reconciled kiss, the fir cones, flashing once more into life and activity, rose upon the topmost log. even the burned and blackened ones glowed with fresh fire. hand in hand, as it were, they climbed into position, and leaped and capered side by side as if merrily dancing, while little jubilant cracks and clicks and sounds, as of small hands clapped for joy, accompanied the movement. then suddenly the splendor faded, and sinking with one consent into ashes, the cones sifted through the logs and vanished forever, their mission accomplished, their work done. with eyes of amazement the lovers gazed upon the spectacle to its close. as the last spark faded, hilda laid her head again on wilhelm's breast. "ah!" she said, tenderly sighing, "the dear old fir! he loved us well, wilhelm, and that was his 'good-by.'" perhaps it was! a balsam pillow. now that fir-needles and hemlock-needles have become recognized articles of commerce, and every other shop boasts its row of fragrant cushions, with their inevitable motto, "give me of thy balm, o fir-tree," i am reminded of the first pillow of the sort that i ever saw, and of what it meant to the girl who made it. i should like to tell you the little story, simple as it is. it belongs to the time, eight or nine years since, before pine pillows became popular. perhaps chateaubriand dorset may be said, for once in her life, to have set a fashion. yes, that was really her name! her mother met with it in a newspaper, and, without the least idea as to whether it appertained to man or woman, adopted it for her baby. the many syllables fascinated her, i suppose, and there was, besides, that odd joy in a piece of extravagance that costs nothing, which appeals to the thrifty new england nature, and is one of its wholesome outlets and indulgences. so the methodist elder baptized the child "chateaubriand aramintha," making very queer work of the unfamiliar accents; and then, so far as practical purposes are concerned, the name ceased to be. how can a busy household, with milk to set, and milk to skim, and pans to scald, and butter to make, and pigs to feed, find time for a name like that? "baby," the little girl was called till she was well settled on her feet and in the use of her little tongue. then she became "brie," and brie dorset she remained to the end. few people recollected that she possessed any other name, unless the marriage, birth, and death pages of the family bible happened to be under discussion. the dorsets' was one of those picturesque, lonely, outlying farms, past which people drive in the summer, saying, "how retired! how peaceful!" but past which almost no one drives in the winter. it stood, with its environment of red barns and apple-orchards, at the foot of a low granite cliff whose top was crowned with a fir wood; and two enormous elm-trees met over its roof and made a checker-work of light and shade on its closely blinded front. no sign of life appeared to the city people who drew their horses in to admire the situation, except, perhaps, a hen scratching in the vegetable-beds, or a lazy cat basking on the doorstep; and they would drive on, unconscious that behind the slats of the green blinds above a pair of eyes watched them go, and a hungry young heart contrasted their lot with its own. hungry! there never was anything like the starvation which goes on sometimes in those shut-up farmhouses. boys and girls feel it alike; but the boys are less to be pitied, for they can usually devise means to get away. how could brie get away? she was the only child. her parents had not married young. when she was nineteen, they seemed almost elderly people, so badly does life on a bleak new england farm deal with human beings. her mother, a frail little woman, grew year by year less fit for hard labor. the farm was not productive. poverty, pinch, the inevitable recurrence of the same things to be done day after day, month after month, the same needs followed by the same fatigues,--all these brie had to bear; and all the while the child had that love and longing for the beautiful which is part of the artist's equipment, and the deprivation of which is keen suffering. sweet sights, sounds, smells,--all these she craved, and could get only in such measure as her daily work enabled her to get them from that world of nature which is the satisfaction of eager hearts to whom all other pleasures are denied. the fir wood on the upper hill was the temple where she worshipped. there she went with her bible on sunday afternoons, with her patching and stocking-mending on other days. there she dreamed her dreams and prayed her prayers, and while there she was content. but all too soon would come the sound of the horn blown from below, or a call from the house, "brie, brie, the men are coming to supper; make haste!" and she would be forced to hurry back to the workaday world. harder times followed. when she was just twenty, her father fell from his loaded hay-wagon, and fractured his thigh. there was no cure for the hurt, and after six months of hopeless tendance, he died. brie and her mother were left together on the lonely farm, with the added burden of a large bill for doctoring and medicines, which pressed like a heavy weight on their honorable hearts. the hired man, reuben hall, was well disposed and honest, but before mr. dorset's death he had begun to talk of going to the west, and brie foreboded that he might not be willing to stay with them. mrs. dorset, broken down by nursing and sorrow, had become an invalid, unable to assist save in the lightest ways. the burden was sore for one pair of young shoulders to bear. brie kept up a brave face by day, but at night, horrors of helplessness and apprehension seized her. the heavens seemed as brass, against which her feeble prayers beat in vain; the future was barred, as it were, with an impassable gate. what could they do? sell the farm? that would take time; for no one in particular wanted to buy it. if reuben would stand by them, they might be able to fight it out for another year, and, what with butter and eggs and the corn-crop, make enough for his wages and a bare living. but would reuben stay? our virtues sometimes treat us as investments do, and return a dividend when we least expect it. it was at this hard crisis that certain good deeds of brie's in the past stood her friend. she had always been good to reuben, and her sweet ways and consideration for his comfort had gradually won a passage into his rather stolid affections. now, seeing the emergency she was in, and the courage with which she met it, he could not quite find the heart to "leave the little gal to make out by herself." fully purposing to go, he stayed, putting off the idea of departure from month to month; and though, true to his idea of proper caution, he kept his good intentions to himself, so that the relief of having him there was constantly tempered by the dread lest he might go at any time, still it _was_ relief. so april passed, and may and june. the crops were planted, the vegetables in. brie strained every nerve. she petted her hens, and coaxed every possible egg out of them, she studied the tastes of the two cows, she maintained a brave show of cheer for her ailing mother, but all the time she was sick at heart. everything seemed closing in. how long could she keep it up? the balsam firs of the hill grove could have told tales in those days. they were brie's sole confidants. the consolation they gave, the counsel they communicated, were mute, indeed, but none the less real to the anxious girl who sat beneath them, or laid her cheek on their rough stems. june passed, and with early july came the answer to brie's many prayers. it came, as answers to prayer often do, in a shape of which she had never dreamed. miss mary morgan, teacher in grammar school no. , ward nineteen, of the good city of boston, came, tired out from her winter's work, to spend a few days with farmer allen's wife, her second cousin, stopped one day at the dorset's door, while driving, to ask for a drink of water, took a fancy to the old house and to brie, and next day came over to propose herself as a boarder for three months. "i can only afford to pay seven dollars a week," she said; "but, on the other hand, i will try not to make much trouble, if you will take me." "seven dollars a week; only think!" cried brie, gleefully, to her mother after the bargain was completed, and miss morgan gone. "doesn't it seem like a fortune? it'll pay reuben's wages, and leave ever so much over! and she doesn't eat much meat, she says, and she likes baked potatoes and cream and sweet baked apples better than anything. and there's the keeping-room chamber all cleaned and ready. doesn't it seem as if she was sent to us, mother?" "your poor father never felt like keepin' boarders," said mrs. dorset. "i used to kind of fancy the idea of it, but he wasn't willin'. i thought it would be company to have one in the house, if they was nice folks. it does seem as if this was the lord's will for us; her coming in so unexpected, and all." two days later miss morgan, with a hammock and a folding canvas chair and a trunk full of light reading, arrived, and took possession of her new quarters. for the first week or two she did little but rest, sleeping for hours at a time in the hammock swung beneath the shadowing elms. then, as the color came back to her thin face and the light to her eyes, she began to walk a little, to sit with brie in the fir grove, or read aloud to her on the doorstep while she mended, shelled peas, or picked over berries; and all life seemed to grow easier and pleasanter for the dwellers in the solitary farmhouse. the guest gave little trouble, she paid her weekly due punctually, and the steady income, small as it was, made all the difference in the world to brie. as the summer went by, and she grew at home with her new friend, she found much relief in confiding to her the perplexities of her position. "i see," miss morgan said; "it is the winter that is the puzzle. i will engage to come back next summer as i have this, and that will help along; but the time between now and then is the difficulty." "yes," replied brie; "the winter is the puzzle, and reuben's money. we have plenty of potatoes and corn and vegetables to take us through, and there's the pig to kill, and the chickens will lay some; if only there were any way in which i could make enough for reuben's wages, we could manage." "i must think it over," said miss morgan. she pulled a long branch of the balsam fir nearer as she spoke, and buried her nose in it. it was the first week of september, and she and brie were sitting in the hill grove. "i love this smell so," she said. "it is delicious. it makes me dream." brie broke off a bough. "i shall hang it over your bed," she said, "and you will smell it all night." so the fir bough hung upon the wall till it gradually yellowed, and the needles began to drop. "why, they are as sweet as ever,--sweeter," declared brie, smelling a handful which she had swept from the floor. then an idea came into her head. she gathered a great fagot of the branches, and laid them to dry in the sun on the floor of a little-used piazza. when partly dried, she stripped off the needles, stuffed with them a square cotton bag, and made for that a cover of soft sage-green silk, with an odd shot pattern over it. it was a piece of what had been her great-grandmother's wedding gown. _voilà!_ do you realize the situation, reader? brie had made the first of all the many balsam pillows. it was meant for a good-by gift to miss morgan. "your cushion is the joy of my life," wrote that lady to her a month after she went home. "every one who sees it, falls in love with it. half a dozen people have asked me how they could get one like it. and, brie, this has given me an idea. why should you not make them for sale? i will send you up some pretty silk for the covers, and you might cross-stitch a little motto if you liked. i copy some for you. two people have given me an order already. they will pay four dollars apiece if you like to try." this suggestion was the small wedge of the new industry. brie lost no time in making the two pillows, grandmother's gown fortunately holding out for their covers. then came some pretty red silk from miss morgan, with yellow _filoselle_ for the mottoes, and more orders. brie worked busily that winter, for her balsam pillows had to be made in spare moments when other work permitted. the grove on the hill was her unfailing treasury of supply. the thick-set twigs bent them to her will; the upper branches seemed to her to rustle as with satisfaction at the aid they were giving. in the spring the old trees renewed their foliage with vigorous purpose, as if resolved not to balk her in her purpose. the fir grove paid reuben's wages that winter. miss morgan came back the following june, and by that time balsam pillows were established as articles of commerce, and brie had a munificent offer from a recently established decorative art society for a supply of the needles, at three dollars the pound. it was hard, dirty work to prepare such a quantity, but she did not mind that. as i said, this was some years since. brie no longer lives in her old home. her mother died the third year after miss morgan came to them, the farm is sold, and brie married. she lives now on a ranch in colorado, but she has never forgotten the fir-grove, and the memory of it is a help often in the desponding moments that come at times to all lives. "i could not be worse off than i was then," she says to herself. "there seemed no help or hope anywhere. i felt as if god didn't care and didn't hear my prayers; and yet, all the time, there was dear miss morgan coming to help us, and there were the trees, great beautiful things, nodding their heads, and trying to show me what could be made out of them. no, i never will be faithless again, nor let myself doubt, however dark things may look, but remember my balsam pillows, and trust in god." colonel wheeler. colonel wheeler, as any one might see at a glance, had been a gallant officer in his day. it was true that he no longer had anything to do with military movements, but his very face suggested a martial past. so did his figure, which, though thin to an almost incredible degree, was unmistakably that of a military man, and also his dress, for the colonel invariably appeared in full uniform, with a scarlet, gold-laced coat, epaulettes, and a cocked hat and feathers, seldom removed even at meal-times. his moustache waved fiercely half-way across his cheeks, his eyes were piercing, and his eyebrows black and frowning; in short, it would be difficult to imagine a more warlike appearance than he presented on the most peaceful occasions. like all truly brave men, colonel wheeler was as gentle as he was valiant, and nothing pleased him better in the piping times of peace than to be detailed on escort duty, and made of use to the ladies of his acquaintance. so it came to pass that again and again he was asked to take charge of large family parties on long journeys. you might see him starting off with a wife or two, half a dozen sisters-in-law, and from eight to fourteen children, all of them belonging to somebody else; not one of them being kith or kin to the gallant colonel. they made really a formidable assemblage when collected, and it took the longest legal envelope which liz-- there! i have let out the secret. colonel wheeler was a paper doll, and these ladies and children who travelled about with him were paper dolls also. they belonged to lizzie bruce and her cousin ernestine, who between them owned several whole families of such. these families were all large. none of the mamma dolls had less than twelve children, and some of them had as many as twenty. lizzie and ernestine despised people not made of paper, who had only two or three little boys and girls. in fact, lizzie was once heard to say of some neighbors with eleven children, "they are the only really satisfactory people i ever knew,--just as good as paper dolls;" and this was meant as the highest possible compliment. lizzie lived in annapolis, md., and ernestine in hingham, mass., so, as you will see, there was a long distance between their homes. it took a day and a half to make the journey, and the little cousins did not visit each other more than once or twice a year. but the dolls went much oftener. _they_ travelled by mail, in one of those long yellow envelopes which lawyers use to put papers in, and colonel wheeler always went in the same envelope to take care of them. when they came back from these trips, lizzie or ernestine, whichever it chanced to be, would unpack them, and exclaim delightedly, "how well the dear things look! so much better for the change! see, mamma, how round and pink their faces have grown!" "i wouldn't advise you to depend so much on colonel wheeler," lizzie's mother would sometimes say. "these military men are rather uncertain characters. i wouldn't send off all the dolls at once with him, if i were you. and really, lizzie, such constant journeys are very expensive. there is never a stamp in my desk when i want one in a hurry." "but, mamma, the children really _had_ to have a change," lizzie would protest, with tears in her eyes. "and as for the colonel, he is such a good man, truly, mamma! he would never steal anybody else's family! he takes beau-tiful care of the dolls, always." "very well, we shall see," answered mamma, with a teazing smile. but she saw that lizzie was in earnest, so she did not say anything more to trouble her, and the very next day contributed seven postage-stamps to pay for the transportation of a large party which lizzie wanted to send on to hingham for a christmas visit. this party included, besides colonel wheeler, who as usual acted as escort, mrs. allen, the wife of captain allen, her fourteen children, her sister-in-law miss allen, her own sister pauline gray,--so called because her only dress happened to be made of gray and blue tissue-paper,--and mrs. adipose and her little girl. mrs. adipose, whose name had been suggested by papa, was the fattest of all the dolls. her daughter was fat, too, and ernestine had increased this effect by making her a jacket so much too large for her that it could only be kept on with a dab of glue. captain allen was a creature who had no real existence. lizzie meant to make a doll to represent him some day. meanwhile, he was kept persistently "at the front," wherever that might be, and mrs. allen travelled about as freely as if she had no husband at all. this lizzie and ernestine considered an admirable arrangement; for, as captain allen never came home and never wrote, he was as little of an inconvenience to his family as any gentleman can ever hope to be. well, this large and mixed company started off gayly in the mail-bag, and in due time lizzie heard of their safe arrival, that they were all well, and that the baby "already looked better for the change." about three weeks later another letter came, and she opened it without the least qualm of anxiety, or any suspicion of the dreadful news it was to bring. it ran thus:-- dear liz,--mrs. adipose grew a little home-sick. she began to worry about mr. adipose. she was afraid he would have trouble with the servants, or else try to clean house while she was away, and make an awful mess all over everything. you never could tell what men would do when they were left alone, she said. so, as i saw she wasn't enjoying herself any more, and as the baby and little ellen seemed to have got as much good out of the visit as they were likely to get, i sent them back last week friday, and hope you got them safely. lizzie dropped the letter with a scream of dismay. this was saturday. last week friday was more than a week ago. where, oh, where were the precious dolls? she flew with her tragic tale to mamma, who, for all she was very sorry, could not help laughing. "you know i warned you against trusting too much to colonel wheeler," she said. "oh, mamma, it isn't his fault, i am sure it isn't," pleaded lizzie. "i have perfect confidence in him. think how often he has gone to hingham, and never once didn't come back! he _would_ have fetched them safely if he hadn't been interfered with, i know he would! no, something dreadful has happened,--it's that horrid post-office!" and she wrung her hands. mamma was very sorry for lizzie. papa wrote to the postmaster, and ernestine's papa inquired at the hingham post-office, and there was quite a stir over the lost travellers. time went on. a month, six weeks, two months passed, and no tidings came, and mr. adipose still sat in the lonely baby-house, watching the cook brandishing a paper saucepan--always the same saucepan--over the toy stove, and bridget, the "housemaid," forever dusting the same table-top, and never getting any farther on with her work. mamma proposed that lizzie should make some new dolls to take the place of the lost ones, and offered help and the use of her mucilage bottle; but lizzie shook her head sorrowfully. "i can't help feeling as if the allens may come back some day," she said. "colonel wheeler is such a good traveller; and what would they think if there was a strange family in their rooms? besides, it's almost as much fun to play without them, because there is mr. adipose, a widower, you know, which is very interesting, and the two pairs of twins, which mrs. allen forgot to take. besides, i can always make believe that they are coming to-morrow." the very next morning after this conversation, as mamma sat writing in her room upstairs, she heard a wild shriek at the front door. the postman had rapped a moment before, and lizzie had rushed down to meet him, as she had each day since the dolls were lost. the shriek was so loud and sudden that mrs. bruce jumped up; but before she could get to the door in flew lizzie, holding in her hand a wild huddle of battered blue envelopes with "dead letter office" stamped on their corners, and a mass of pink and gray and green gowns and funny tumbled capes and hats. it was the doll party, returned at last! "mamma, mamma," she cried, "what did i tell you? colonel wheeler didn't run away with them; he has brought them all home." there they were indeed; mrs. adipose as fat as ever, mrs. allen, and all her children, the sister, the sister-in-law, and colonel wheeler, erect and dignified as usual, in spite of a green crease across both his legs, and a morsel of postage-stamp in his eye, and wearing an air of conscious merit, which the occasion fully warranted. as lizzie rapturously embraced him, she cried: "dear old colonel, nobody believed in you but me, not even mamma! i knew you hadn't run away with nineteen people. mamma laughed at me, but she doesn't know you as well as i do. nobody shall ever laugh at you again." and nobody did. colonel wheeler had earned public confidence, and from that day to this no one has dared to say a word against him in lizzie's hearing. he has made several journeys to hingham without the least misadventure, and papa says he would trust him to escort lizzie herself if it were necessary. he is the hero of the dolls' home, and poor old mr. adipose, who never stirs from home, is made miserable by having him held up as a perpetual model for imitation. but unlike the generality of heroes, colonel wheeler lives up to his reputation, and is not less modest, useful, and agreeable in the domestic circle because of being so exceptionally meritorious! ninety-three and ninety-four. ninety-three and ninety-four were two houses standing side by side in the outskirts of a country town, and to all outward appearance as like each other as two peas. they were the pioneer buildings of a small brick block; but as yet the rest of the block had not been built, which was all the better for ninety-three and ninety-four, and gave them more space and outlook. both had french roofs with dormer windows; both front doors "grained" to represent oak, the graining falling into a pattern of regular stripes like a watered silk; and across the front of each, on the ground floor, ran the same little sham balcony of varnished iron,--balconies on which nothing heavier than a cat could venture without risk of bringing the frail structures down into the street. inside, the houses differed in trifling respects, as houses must which are under the control of differing minds; but in one point they were precisely alike within,--which was, that the back room of the third story of each was occupied by a girl of seventeen. it is of these two rooms that i want to tell the story. so much has been said and written of late years about home decoration and the methods of producing it, that i think some other girls of seventeen with rooms to make pretty may like to hear of how eleanor pyne and may blodgett managed theirs. eleanor was the girl at ninety-three. she and may were intimate friends, or considered themselves such. intimacy is a word very freely used among young people who have not learned what a sacred word it is and how very much it means. they had grown up together, had gone to the same schools, shared most of their pleasures as well as their lessons, sent each other christmas presents and birthday cards every year, and consulted in advance over their clothes, spring bonnets, and fancy work, which, taken all together, may be said to make an intimacy according to the general use of the term. so it was natural that, when may, stirred by the sense of young-ladyhood just at hand and by the modern impulse for house decoration, desired to "do over" and beautify her room, eleanor should desire it also. making a room pretty nowadays would seem easy enough where there is plenty of money for the purpose. there is only the embarrassment of choice, though that is so embarrassing at times as to lead one to envy those grandmothers of ours, who, with only three or four patterns of everything to choose from, and those all ugly, had but the simple task of selecting the least ugly! but in the case of my two girls there was this further complication, that very little money could be used for adornment of the bedrooms. mrs. blodgett and mrs. pyne had consulted over the matter, and the decision was that eleanor and may might each spend twenty dollars, and no more. what can be done with twenty dollars? it will buy one pretty article of furniture. it will pay for a "kensington art square," with perhaps enough left for cheese-cloth curtains. it will paper a room, or paint it. you can easily dispose of the whole of it, if you will, in a single portière. and here were two rooms which needed renovation from floor to ceiling! the rooms were of the same size. both had two windows looking north and an ample closet. the most important difference lay in the fact that the builder of the houses, for some reason known only to himself, had put a small fireplace across the corner of eleanor's room, and had put none in may's. _per contra_ may's room was papered, which she considered a counterbalancing advantage; but as the paper was not very pretty, eleanor did not agree with her. many were the consultations held between the two girls. and just here, before they had actually begun operations, a piece of good luck befell both of them. eleanor's grandmother presented her with an easy-chair, an old one, very shabby as to cover, but a good chair still, and very comfortable. and almost simultaneously a happily timed accident occurred to mrs. blodgett's spare-room carpet, which made the buying of a new one necessary, and the old one was given to may. it was a still respectable brussels, with rather a large medallion figure on a green ground. it did not comport very well with the blue and drab paper on the walls, and the medallions looked very big on the smaller floor; but may cared nothing for that, and she accepted her windfall gleefully. "it will save ever and ever so much," she said, joyously. "carpets do cost so. poor eleanor, you will have to get one for yourself, unless you can persuade your cook to upset an oil lamp on one of your mother's." "oh, annie is too careful; she could never be persuaded to do such a thing as that," laughed eleanor. "besides, i don't want her to. i don't like any of mother's carpets very much." "well, i don't care what sort of a carpet it is so long as i don't have to buy it," said may. "i do," replied eleanor. she did. there was this great point of difference between the friends. eleanor possessed by nature that eye for color and sense of effects which belongs to what people call the "artistic" temperament. may had none of this, and did not even understand what it meant. to her all reds and olives and yellows were alike; differences of tone, inflections of tint, were lost on her untrained and unappreciative vision. she was unconscious of this deficiency, so it did not annoy her, and as eleanor had a quiet and pleasant way of differing with her, they never quarrelled. but none the less did each hold to her own point of view and her own opinion. so, while may read eagerly all the articles in the secular and religious papers which show how girls and women have made plain homes cheaply charming by painting sunflowers and black-eyed susans on ink-bottles and molasses-jugs, converting pork-barrels into arm-chairs with the aid of "excelsior" and burlaps, and "lighting up" dark corners with six-cent fans, and was fired with an ambition to do the same, eleanor silently dissented from her enthusiasms. she was ready to help, however, even when she did not agree; and may, glad of the help, did not notice much the lack of sympathy. it is often so in friendships. one does the talking and one the listening. one kisses while the other holds out the cheek, as the french proverb puts it; one lays down the law and the other differs without disputing it, so both are satisfied. it was so in this case. eleanor was doing a great deal of quiet thinking and planning while may chattered by the hour over her projects. "what i want my room to be," she told her friend, "is gay and dressy. i hate dull-looking rooms, and having no carpet or paper to buy i can get lots of chintz. there's a lovely pattern on the bargain counter at shell's for fourteen cents, all over roses. i am going to have a whole piece of it, and just cover up all that awful old yellow furniture of mine entirely. the bureau is to have little rods across the front and curtains to hide the drawers, like that picture in the 'pomologist,' and i shall make a soapbox footstool and a barrel chair, and have lambrequins and a drapery over my bed, and a coverlet and valances. the washstand i have decided to do in burlaps with cat-tails embroidered on the front, and a splasher with a pattern of swans and, 'wash and be clean.' won't it be lovely? "you know those black-walnut book-shelves of mine," she went on, after a pause; "well, i am going to cover them in white muslin with little pleated ruffles on the edges and pink satin bows at the corners. sarah stanton has promised to paint me a stone bottle with roses to put on top, and bell short is working me a wall banner. it's going to be the gayest little place you ever saw." "won't the white muslin soil soon, and won't so much chintz get very dusty?" objected eleanor. "oh, they can be washed," replied may, easily. so the big roll of chintz was ordered home, and for a fortnight she and eleanor spent all their spare time in hemming ruffles, tacking pleatings on to wooden shelves, and putting up frills and curtains. when all was done the room looked truly very fresh and gay. the old yellow "cottage furniture" had vanished under its raiment of chintz and was quite hidden. even the foot-board of the bed had its slip-cover and flounce. the books were ranged in rows on the muslin shelves with crisp little ruffles above and below. flowers and bright-colored zig-zags of crewels adorned everything. wherever it was possible, a japanese fan was stuck on the wall, or a bow of ribbon, or a little embroidered something, or a christmas card. scarfs of one sort or another were looped across the corners of the pictures, tidies innumerable adorned the chair-backs and table-tops. there was a general look of fulness and of an irresistible tendency in things to be of no particular use except to make spots of meaningless color and keep the eye roving restlessly to and fro. "isn't it just lovely?" said may, as she stood in the doorway to take in the effect. "now, eleanor pyne, do say it's lovely." "it's as bright as can be," answered eleanor, cordially. "only i can't bear to think of all these pretty things getting dusty. they're so nice and fresh now." "oh, they can easily be dusted," said may. "you are a perfect crank about dust, elly. now, here is my account. i think i have managed pretty well, don't you?" the account ran thus:-- sixty yards of chintz at cents a yard $ . burlaps, cheese-cloth, white muslin . fans, ribbons, crewels . stamping a tidy . one wicker-work chair . hanging-basket . ------ total $ . "there's twenty cents left over," explained may, as she finished reading the items. "that will just get a yellow ribbon to tie round the handle of my clothes-brush. eleanor, you've been ever so good to help me so much. when are you going to begin your room? you must let me help you now." "i began this morning." "have you really begun? what did you get?" "oh, i didn't get anything. this first thing isn't to cost anything at all." "why, what is it?" "you know that ugly fire-board in front of my fireplace? i have taken it upstairs to the attic, and mother has lent me some cunning little andirons and a shovel and tongs which grandmamma gave her, and i am going to have an open fire." "but you don't need one. the room is warm enough, with your register." "oh, i know that. and i didn't mean that i was going to _light_ the fire, only have it all ready for lighting. i rubbed the brass knobs myself with puit's pomade, and they shine _beautifully_, and i painted the bricks with red-ochre and water, and arranged the wood and kindlings, and it has such a cosy, homelike look, you can't think!" "well, i confess i don't see the cosiness of a fire that you're never going to light." "oh, mamma says if i ever am sick in bed, or there is any particular reason for it, i may light it. and even if it doesn't happen often, i shall have the comfort of knowing that it's all ready." "i call it cold comfort. what a queer girl you are! well, what are you going to do next, elly?" "you will laugh when i tell you. i'm going to paper my room myself." "not really! why, you can't. papering is very difficult; i have always heard so. people have to get men to do it, always." "i don't believe it's so very difficult. there was a piece about it once in the 'family friend' which i cut out and saved. it told how to make the paste and everything, and it didn't seem hard at all. mother thinks i can. i'm going to begin to-morrow. in fact, i began yesterday, for old joyce came and mended the crack in the ceiling and kalsomined it, and oh, may, i did such a _thrifty_ thing! he had a nice big brush and a roller to smooth out the paper with, and don't you think, i made a bargain with him to hire them out to me for three cents an hour, so i sha'n't have to buy any." "didn't he laugh?" "yes, he laughed, and ned laughed too; but i don't care. 'let those laugh who win,'" concluded eleanor, with a bright, confident smile. "come in to-morrow afternoon and see how i get on," she called out from the door of ninety-three. may went at the appointed time. the papering was done, and for a beginner very well done, though an expert might easily have found faulty places here and there. the paper eleanor had chosen was of a soft, warm yellow like pale sunshine, which seemed to neutralize the cold light of the north windows. it looked plain when seen in shadow, but where the light struck it revealed a pattern of graceful interlaced disks. and the ceiling was tinted with a much lighter shade of the same yellow. a chestnut picture-rod separated wall and ceiling. "putting the paper on myself saved _lots_," announced eleanor, gleefully. "it only cost fifteen cents a roll, so the whole room came to exactly a dollar eighty. then i am to pay joyce eighteen cents for six hours' use of his brush and roller, and mother isn't going to charge anything for the flour for the paste, because i boiled it myself. i had to get the picture-moulding, though, and that was rather dear,--nearly two dollars. ned nailed it up for me." "why didn't you have a paper border; it would not have cost nearly as much?" "no, but i should have had to drive nails and tacks in every time i wanted to hang up anything, and that would have spoiled the paper. and i want that to last a long, long time." "what are you going to do with your furniture?" asked may, casting an eye of disfavor at the articles in question, a so-called "cottage" set, enamelled, of a faded, shabby blue. "i am going to paint them," replied eleanor, daringly. "eleanor pyne! you can't!" but eleanor could and did. painting is by no means the recondite art which some of its professors would have us suppose. eleanor avoided one of the main difficulties of the craft, by buying her paint ready mixed and qualified with "dryers." she chose a pretty tint of olive brown. ned took her bedstead apart for her, and one by one she carried the different articles to a little-used attic, where, equipped in a long-sleeved apron and a pair of old cotton gloves to save her fingers, she gradually coated each smoothly with the new paint. it took some days to finish, for she did not work continuously, but when done she felt rewarded for her pains; for the furniture not only looked new, but was prettier than it had ever been before during the memory of man. her brother ned was so pleased with her success, that he volunteered, if she would pay for the "stuff," to make a broad pine shelf to nail over the narrow shelf of her chimney-piece, and some smaller ones above, cut after a pretty design which he had seen in an agricultural magazine. this handsome offer eleanor gladly accepted, and when the shelves were done, she covered them with two coats of the same useful olive-brown paint. there was still some paint left; and grown bold with practice and no longer afraid of her big brush, eleanor essayed a bolder flight. she first painted her doors and her window-frames, then she attacked her floor, and, leaving an ample square space in the middle, executed a border two feet and a half wide all round it, in a pattern of long diamonds done in two shades of olive, the darker being obtained by mixing a little black with the original tint. "you see i have to buy my own carpet," she explained to the astonished and somewhat scandalized may; "and with this border a little square one will answer, instead of my having to get a great big thing for the whole floor." "but sha'n't you hate to put your feet on bare boards?" "that's just what i sha'n't do. don't you see that the bureau and washstand and the bedstead and towel-frame and all the rest fill up nearly all the space i have left for a border. what's the use of buying carpet for _them_ to stand on?" may shook her head. she was not capable of such original reasoning. in her code the thing that generally had been always should be. "well, it seems rather queer to me--and not very comfortable," she said. "and i can't think why you painted those shelves over the mantel instead of covering them with something,--chintz, now. they would have looked awfully pretty with pinked ruffles, you know, and long curtains to draw across the front like that picture you saw in 'home made happy.'" "oh, i shouldn't have liked that at all. i should hate the idea of calico curtains to a mantel-piece. it would always seem as if they were going to catch fire." "but they _couldn't_. you don't have any fire," persisted may. "no, but they would seem so. and i want my fire to look as if it could be lighted at any minute." eleanor's instinct was based on an "underlying principle." it is a charming point in any fireplace to look as if it were constantly ready for use. inflammable draperies, however pretty, militate against this look, and so are a mistake in taste, especially in our changeful new england climate, where, even in midsummer, a little blaze may at any moment be desirable to cheer a dull day or warm a chilly evening. but may herself was forced to admit that the room looked "comfortable" when the square of pretty ingrain carpeting of a warm golden brown was tacked into its place, and the furniture brought back from the attic and arranged. things at once fell into harmonious relation with each other, as in a well-thought-out room they should do. the creamy, bright paper made a pleasant background; there was an air of cheerfulness even on cloudy days. may could not understand the reason of this, or why on such days her reds and pinks and drabs and greens and blues never seemed to warm her out of dulness. "i am sure my colors are a great deal brighter than yours," she would say; "i cannot imagine why they don't light up better." eleanor did not try for many evanescent prettinesses. in fact, she could not, even had she wished to do so, for her money was all spent; so, as she told her mother, she contented herself with having secured things that would wear, and a pretty color. she put short curtains of "scrim" at her windows, and plain serviceable towels which could be often washed on her bureau and table-tops. the bureau was enlivened by a large, square scarlet pincushion, the only bit of finery in which eleanor indulged. amid the subdued tone of its surroundings it looked absolutely brilliant, like the famous red wafer which the great turner stuck in the foreground of his dim-tinted landscape, and which immediately seemed to take the color out of the bright pictures on either side. later, when eleanor had learned to do the pretty mexican work, now in fashion, she decorated some special towels for her table and bureau, with lace-like ends, and a pair of pillow-covers. meanwhile, she bore very well the knowledge that may and most of the other girls of their set considered her room rather "plain and bare." it suited her own fancy, and that satisfied her. "i do like room to turn about in and not too many things, and not to smell of dust," she told her mother. here is eleanor's budget of expenses, to set against may's:-- wall-paper, twelve rolls $ . use of brush and roller . kalsomining ceiling . picture-moulding . two gallons of mixed paint, at $ . per gallon . brush . nine yards of ingrain carpeting at sixty-five cents a yard . carpet thread and tacks . pine shelving . chintz for chair-cover put on by eleanor herself . satin and ribbon for cushion . ------ total $ . this was two years ago. if you could take a peep at the rival rooms in ninety-three and ninety-four to-day, you would find eleanor's looking quite as pretty as when new, or prettier; for she has used it carefully, and each year has added something to its equipments, as years will. when a girl has once secured a good foundation for her room, her friends are apt to make their gifts work in toward its further beautification. with may it is different. her room has lost the freshness which was its one good point. the chintz has become creased and a little faded, the muslin and scrim from repeated washings are no longer crisp, and look limp and threadbare; all the ribbons and scarfs are shabby and tumbled; while the green carpet and the blue wall "swear" as vigorously at each other as they did at first. may sighs over it frequently, and wishes she had tried for a more permanent effect. next time she will do better, she avers; but next times are slow in coming where the family exchequer has not the recuperative powers of fortunatus's purse. the moral of this simple tale may be divided into three heads. i object to morals myself as a wind-up for stories, and i dare say most of you who read this are no fonder of them than i am; still, a three-headed moral is such a novelty that it may be urged as an excuse. the three heads are these:-- . when you have only a small sum to spend on renovations, choose those that will last. . ingenuity and energy count for more than mere money can. . once make sure in a room of convenience, cheerfulness, and a good color, and you can afford to wait for gimcracks--or "jamescracks"--or any of the thousand and one little duds which so many people consider indispensable features of pleasantness. rooms have their anatomy as well as human beings. there must be a good substructure of bones rightly placed to underlie the bloom and sparkle in the one; and in like manner for the other the laws of taste, which are immutable, should underlie and support the evanescent and passing fancies and fashions of every day. the sorrows of felicia. it was a pretty chamber, full of evidences of taste and loving care. white curtains draped the windows and the looking-glass. there was a nice writing-table, set where the light fell upon it exactly as it should for convenience to the writer. there was a book-shelf full of gayly bound books, a pretty blue carpet, photographs on the faintly tinted blue wall,--somebody had evidently taken pains to make the room charming, and just as evidently to make it charming for the use of a girl. and there lay the girl on the sofa,--felicia, or, in schoolroom parlance, felie bliss. was she basking in the comfort and tastefulness of her room? not at all! a volume of "in memoriam" was in her hand. her face was profoundly long and dismal. she murmured mournful lines over to herself, only pausing now and then to reach out her hand and fill a tumbler from a big jug of lemonade which stood on a little table beside her. felie always provided herself with lemonade when she retired to her bedroom to enjoy the pleasures of woe for a season. from the door, which was locked, sounded a chorus of knocks and irreverent voices. "sister, are you in there?" demanded one. "are you thinking about life, sister?" asked another. "have you got your sharp-pointed scissors with you?" cried the first voice. "oh, felie, felie, stay your rash hand." "we like lemonade just as much as you," chimed in dimple, the youngest of the four. "let us in. we are very thirsty, and we long to comfort you," said voice the second, with a stifled giggle. felicia paid no attention whatever to these observations, only murmured to herself,-- "but what to her shall be the end? and what to me remains of good? to her perpetual maidenhood--" "who is 'her'?" demanded that bad jenny through the door. "if you mean mrs. carrington, you are all wrong. may curtis says her engagement is announced to mr. collins." "oh, children, do go away!" cried felie in a despairing tone. "forgive these wild and wandering cries, confessions of a wasted youth; forgive them where they fail in truth, and in thy wisdom make me wise." "hear her!" said betty outside. "she's having it very badly to-day. i wish i knew tennyson. i should like to tell him what i think of his writing a horrid, melancholy, caterwauling book, and making the bliss family miserable. felie, if you've drunk up all your lemonade, you might at least lend us the pitcher." it was no use. felicia either did not, or would not, hear. so, with a last thump on the panels of the long-suffering door, the trio departed in search of another pitcher. if anybody had told felie bliss, at seventeen, that she really had not a grief in the world worthy of the name, she would have resented it deeply. she was a tall girl, whose bones and frame were meant for the use of a large woman, when their owner should have arrived at all that nature meant her to be, but who at this period of her life was almost startlingly long and thin. she had "outgrown her strength," as people say, which was felie's only excuse for the almost tragic enjoyment which she took in mournful things. she was in fair health, and had an excellent appetite, and a real school-girl love for raisins, stick-cinnamon, sugar-plums, and soda-water; tastes which were highly at variance with the rôle which she wished to play,--that of a sweetly-resigned and long-suffering being, whose hopes had faded from earth, into the distant heaven toward which she was hastening. felie's sweet-tooth was quite a trial to her; but she struggled with it, and resisted enjoyment as far as was possible with her naturally cheerful disposition. she was an interesting perplexity to her family, who were contented, reasonable folk, of the sort which, happily for the world, is called commonplace. to her younger sisters, especially, felicia was a never-failing and exciting conundrum, the answer to which they were always guessing, but never could find out. for days together she would be as cheerful as possible, full of fun and contrivance, and the life of the house; then, all of a sudden, gloom would envelop her like a soft fog, and she would retire to her room with "in memoriam," or some other introspective volume, and the fat jug of lemonade, lock the door, and just "drink and weep for hours together," as her sister jenny expressed it. it was really unaccountable. all her books were deeply scored with lines against the woful passages, and such pencilled remarks as "alas!" and "all too true!" she sat in church with a carefully arranged sad smile on her face; but this, as unsuitable to her natural expression, was not always a success. felie was much aggrieved one day at being told, by an indiscriminating friend, that her face "seemed made to laugh,--no one could imagine it anything but bright." this, for a girl who was posing for "patience on a monument smiling at grief," was rather a trial; but then the friend had never seen her reading "king john," and murmuring,-- "here i and sorrow sit--" with a long brown stick of cinnamon, in process of crunch, occupying the other corner of her mouth. but perhaps the friend might have found even this funny,--there are such unfeeling people in the world! felie's letters were rather dull reading, because she told so little of what she had said or done, and hinted so liberally at her own aching heart and thwarted hopes. but her correspondents, who were mostly jolly school-girls, knew her pretty well, and dismissed these jeremiads as, "just felie's way. she does love to be miserable, you know, but nobody is better fun than she when she doesn't think it her duty to be unhappy." felie didn't come down to tea on the evening of the day on which our story opens. an afternoon of lemonade had dampened her appetite, but at bedtime she stole out in her dressing-gown and slippers, helped herself to a handful of freshly baked cookies and a large green cucumber pickle, and, by the aid of these refreshments, contrived to stave off the pangs of hunger till next morning, when she appeared at breakfast cheerful and smiling, with no sign upon her spirits of the eclipse of the day before. her family made no allusion to that melancholy episode,--they were used to such,--only mr. bliss asked, between two mouthfuls of toast, "where were you gadding to last night, child? i didn't hear you come home." "i was not out. i didn't feel very--very bright, and went to bed early." "oh!"--mr. bliss understood. "he who makes truth unlovely commits high treason against virtue," says an old writer; but he who simulates grief, and makes it ridiculous, commits an almost equal crime against true feeling. felie had been playing at sorrow where no sorrow was. that very day a real sorrow came, and she woke up to find her world all changed into a reality of pain and puzzle and bewilderment, which was very different from the fictitious loss and the sham suffering which she had found so much to her mind. she had no idea, as she watched her father and mother drive off that afternoon, that anything terrible was about to happen. only the "seers" of the scotch legends could see the shroud drawn up over the breast of those who are "appointed to die" suddenly; the rest of us see nothing. the horse which mr. bliss drove was badly broken, but he had often gone out before and come back safely. it was only on this particular day that the combination of circumstances occurred which made the risky horse dangerous,--the shriek of the railroad-whistle, the sharp turn in the road, the heap of stones. there was a runaway, an overset, and two hours from the time when the youthful sisters, unexpectant of misfortune, had watched their parents off, they were brought back, mr. bliss dead, mrs. bliss with a broken arm, and injuries to the spine so severe that there was little chance of her ever being able to leave her bed again. so much can be done in one fatal moment. it is at such dark, dark times that real character shows itself. felie's little affectations, her morbid musings and fancies, fell from her like some light, fantastic drapery, which is shrivelled in sudden heat. her real self--hopeful, self-reliant, optimistic--rose into action as soon as the first paralyzing shock of pain was past, and she had taken in the reality of this new and strange thing. all the cares of the house, the management of affairs, the daily wear and tear of life, which has to be borne by _some one_, fell upon her inexperienced hands. her mother was too shaken and ill to be consulted, the younger girls instinctively leaned on what they felt to be a strength superior to their own. it was a heavy load for young shoulders, and felie was not yet eighteen! she made mistakes of course,--mistakes repented of with bitter crying and urgent resolutions. she was often tried, often discouraged; things did not smooth themselves easily, or the world go much out of its usual course, because felie bliss was perplexed and in trouble. there were no mornings to spare for tragedy, or tennyson. felie's eyeballs often longed for the relief of a good fit of tears; that troublesome little lump would come into her throat which is the price of tears resolutely held back, but there was too much to do to allow of such a weakening self-indulgence. mother must be cared for, the house must be looked after, people on business must be seen, the "children," as she called her sisters, must not be suffered to be too sad. and then, again, "in memoriam," beautiful as it is, and full of sweet and true and tender feeling, did not satisfy felie now as it had done when she was forced to cultivate an artificial emotion outside of herself. "if i had time and knew how to write poetry, i could say a great many things that tennyson never thought of," she told jenny, one day. it is so with all who suffer. no poet ever voiced the full and complete expression of our own personal pain. there is always something beyond,--an individual pang recognized and understood only by ourselves. so the years went on, as years do even when their wheels seem weighted with lead. the first sharpness of their loss abated. they became used to the sight of their father's empty chair, of his closed desk; they ceased to listen for the sound of his step on the porch, his key in the door. mrs. bliss gradually regained a more comfortable measure of health, but she remained an invalid, the chief variation in her life being when she was lifted from bed to sofa, and back again from sofa to bed. felie was twenty-four, and the younger ones were no longer children, though she still called them so. even dimple wore long dresses, and had set up something very like a lover, though felie sternly refused to have him called so till dimple was older. felie was equally severe with dr. ernest allen, on her own account. "she was a great deal too busy to think of such a thing," she declared; but dr. allen, who had faith in time, simply declared that he "didn't mind waiting," and continued to hang his hat on the hat-tree in the bliss's entry three times a week. indeed, looking at felicia bliss, now that she had rounded physically and mentally into what she was meant to become, you would not wonder that any man should be willing to wait a while in hope of winning such a prize. a certain bright cheer and helpfulness was her charm. "the room grew pleasanter as soon as she came into it," dimple declared. certainly dr. allen thought so; and as a man may willingly put off building a house till he can afford to have one which fronts the sun, so he considered it worth while to delay, for a few years, even, if need be, and secure for life a daily shining which should make all life pleasanter. he had never known felie in her morbid days, and she could never make him quite believe her when she tried to tell of that past phase of her girlhood. "it is simply impossible. you must exaggerate, if you have not dreamed it," he said. "not a bit. ask dimple,--ask any of them." "i prefer to ask my own eyes, my own convictions," declared the lover. "you are the most 'wholesome' woman, through and through, that i ever knew. a doctor argues from present indications to past conditions. i am sure you are mistaken about yourself. if i can detect with the stethoscope the spot in your lungs where five years back pneumonia left a trace, surely i ought to be able to make out a similar spot in your nervous temperament. the idea is opposed to all that you are." "but not to all that i was. really and truly, dr. allen, i used to be the most absurd girl in the world. if you could have seen me!" "but what cured you in this radical and surprising manner?" "well," said felie, demurely, "i suppose the remedy was what you would call homeopathic. i had revelled in a sort of imaginary sorrowfulness, but when that dreadful time came, and i tasted real sorrow, i found that it took all my strength to meet it, and i was glad enough of everything bright and cheering that i could get at to help me through. "i wonder if there are many girls in the world who are nursing imaginary miseries as i used to do," she went on. "if there are, i should like to tell them how foolish it is, and how bad for them. but, dear me, there are so many girls and one can't get at them! i suppose each must learn the lesson for herself and fight her fight out somehow, and i hope they will all get through safely, and learn, as i have, that happiness is the most precious thing in the world, and that it is so, _so_ foolish not to enjoy and make the most of it while we have it. because, you know, _some_ day trouble must come to everybody. and it is such a pity to have to look back and know that you have wasted a chance." imprisoned. the big house stood in the middle of a big open space, with wide lawns about it shaded by cherry-trees and lilac-bushes, toward the south an old-fashioned garden, and back of that the apple-orchard. the little house was on the edge of the grounds, and had its front entrance on the road. its doors were locked and its windows shuttered now, for no one had lived in it for several years. three little girls lived in the big house. lois, who was eight years old, and emmy, who was seven, were sisters. kitty, their cousin, also seven, had lived with them so long that she seemed like another sister. there was, besides, marianne, the cook's baby; but as she was not quite three, she did not count for much with the older ones, though they sometimes condescended to play with her. it was a place of endless pleasure to these happy country children, and they needed no wider world than it afforded them. all summer long they played in the open air. they built bowers in the feathery asparagus; they knew every bird's-nest in the syringa-bushes and the thick guelder-roses, and were so busy all the time that they rarely found a moment in which to quarrel. one day in july their mother and father had occasion to leave home for a long afternoon and evening. "you can stay outdoors till half-past six," mrs. spenser said to her little girls; "then you must come in to tea, and at half-past seven you must go to bed as usual. you may play where you like in the grounds, but you must not go outside the gate." she kissed them for good-by. "remember to be good," she said. then she got into the carriage and drove away. the children were very good for several hours. they played that little marianne was their baby, and was carried off by a gypsy. lois was the gypsy, and the chase and recapture of the stolen child made an exciting game. at last they got tired of this, and the question arose: "what shall we do next?" "i wish mother would let us play down the road," said emmy. "the noyse children's mother lets them." "i'll tell you what we'll do," said lois, struck by a sudden bright idea. "let's go down to the shut-up house. that isn't outside the gate." "o lois! yes, it is. you can't go to the front door without walking on the road." "well, who said anything about the front door? i'm going to look in at the back windows. mother never said we mustn't do that." still, it was with a sense of guilt that the three stole across the lawn; and they kept in the shadow of the hedge, as if afraid some one would see and call them back. little marianne, with her rag doll in her arms, began to run after them. "there's that little plague tagging us," said kitty. "go back, marianne; we don't want you." then, when marianne would not go back, they all ran away, and left her crying. the shut-up house looked dull and ghostly enough. the front was in deep shadow from the tall row of elms that bordered the road, but at the back the sun shone hotly. it glowed through the low, dusty window of a cellar, and danced and gleamed on something bright which lay on the floor within. "what do you suppose it is?" said emmy, as they all stooped to look. "it looks like real gold. perhaps some pirates hid it there, and no one has come since but us." "or perhaps it's a mine," cried lois,--"a mine of jewels. see, it's all purple, like the stones in mother's breastpin. wouldn't it be fun if it was? we wouldn't tell anybody, and we could buy such splendid things." "we must get in and find out," added kitty. just then a wail sounded close at hand, and a very woful, tear-stained little figure appeared. it was marianne. the poor baby had trotted all the long distance in the sun after her unkind playfellows. "oh, dear! you little nuisance! what made you come?" demanded emmy. "i 'ant to," was all marianne's explanation. "well, don't cry. now you've come, you can play," remarked lois; and marianne was consoled. they began to try the windows in turn, and at last found one in a wood-shed which was unfastened. kitty scrambled in, and admitted the others, first into the wood-shed and then into a very dusty kitchen. the cellar stairs opened from this. they all ran down, but--oh, disappointment!--the jewel-mine proved to be only the half of a broken teacup with a pattern on it in gold and lilac. this was a terrible come-down from a pirate treasure. "pshaw!" said kitty. "only an old piece of crockery. i don't think it's fair to cheat like that." little marianne had been afraid to venture down into the cellar, and now stayed at the top waiting for them. "let's run away from her," suggested kitty, who was cross after her disappointment. so they all hopped over marianne, and, deaf to her cries, ran upstairs to the second story as fast as they could go. there were four bare, dusty chambers, all unfurnished. "there she comes," cried kitty, as marianne was heard climbing the stairs. "where shall we hide from her? oh, here's a place!" she had spied a closet door, fastened with a large old-fashioned iron latch. she flew across the room. it was a narrow closet, with a shelf across the top of it. "hurry, hurry!" called kitty. the others made haste. they squeezed themselves into the closet, and banged the door to behind them. not till it was firmly fastened did they notice that there was no latch inside, or handle of any sort, and that they had shut themselves in, and had no possible way of getting out again. their desire to escape from marianne changed at once into dismay. they kicked and pounded, but the stout old-fashioned door did not yield. marianne could be heard crying without. there was a round hole in the door just above the latch. putting her eye to this, lois could see the poor little thing, doll in arms, standing in the middle of the floor, uncertain what to do. "marianne!" she called, "here we are, in the closet. come and let us out, that's a good baby. put your little hand up and push the latch. you can, if you will only try." "i'll show you how," added kitty, taking her turn at the peep-hole. "see, come close to the door, and kitty will tell you what to do." but these mysterious voices speaking out of the unseen frightened marianne too much to allow of her doing anything helpful. "i tan't! i tan't!" she wailed, not venturing near the door. "oh, do try, please do!" pleaded lois. "i'll give you my china doll if you will, marianne." "and i'll give you my doll's bedstead," added emmy. "you'd like that, i know. dear little marianne, do try to let us out. please do. we're so tired of this old closet." but still marianne repeated, "tan't, tan't." and at last she sat down on the floor and wept. the imprisoned children wept with her. "i've thought of a plan," said emmy at last. "if you'll break one of the teeth out of your shell comb, lois, i think i can push it through the hole and raise the latch up." alas! the hole was above the latch, not below it. half the teeth were broken out of lois's comb in their attempt, and with no result except that they fell through the hole to the floor outside. at intervals they renewed their banging and pounding on the door, but it only tired them out, and did no good. it was a very warm afternoon, and, as time went on, the closet became unendurably hot. emmy sank down exhausted on the floor, and she and kitty began to sob wildly. lois alone kept her calmness. little marianne had grown wonderfully quiet. peeping through the hole, lois saw that she had gone to sleep on the floor. "don't cry so, kitty," she said. "it's no use. we were naughty to come here. i suppose we've got to die in this closet, and it is my fault. we shall starve to death pretty soon, and no one will know what has become of us till somebody takes the house; and when they come to clean it and they open the closet door, they will find our bones." kitty screamed louder than ever at this terrible picture. "oh, hush!" said her cousin. "the only thing we can do now is to pray. god is the only person that can help us. mamma says he is close to every person who prays. he can hear us if we are in the closet." then lois made this little prayer:-- "our father who art in heaven. we have been naughty, and came down here when mamma didn't give us leave to come; but please forgive us. we won't disobey again, if only thou wilt. we make a promise. help us. show us the way to get out of this closet. don't let us die here, with no one to know where we are. we ask it for jesus christ's sake. forever and forever. amen." it was a droll little prayer, but lois put all her heart into it. a human listener might have smiled at the odd turn of the phrases; but god knew what she meant, and he never turns away from real prayer. he answered lois. how did he answer her? did he send a strong angel to lift up the latch of the door? he might have done that, you know, as he did for peter in prison. but that was not the way he chose in this instance. what he did was to put a thought into lois's mind. she stood silent for a while after she had finished praying. "children," she said, "i have thought of something. kitty, you are the lightest. do you think emmy and i could push you up on to the shelf?" it was not an easy thing to do, for the place was narrow; but at last, with lois and emmy "boosting," and kitty scrambling, it was accomplished. "now, kitty, put your back against the wall," said lois, "and when i say 'one, two, three,' push the door with your feet as hard as you can, while we push below." kitty braced herself, and at the word "three," they all exerted their utmost strength. one second more, and--oh, joy!--the latch gave way, and the door flew open. kitty tumbled from the shelf, the others fell forward on the floor,--they were out! lois had bumped her head, and emmy's shoulder was bruised; but what was that? they were free. "let us run, run!" cried lois, catching marianne up in her arms. "i never want to see this horrible house again." so they ran downstairs, and out through the wood-shed into the open air. oh, how sweet the sunshine looked, and the wind felt, after their fear and danger! their mother taught them a little verse next morning, after they had told her all about their adventure and made confession of their fault; and lois said it to herself every day all her life afterward. this is it:-- "god is never far away; god is listening all the day. when we tremble, when we fear, the dear lord is quick to hear,-- quick to hear, and quick to save, quick to grant each prayer we make, for the precious gift he gave, for his son our saviour's sake." "i love that hymn," lois used to say; "and i know it's true, because god heard us just as well in that little bit of a closet as if we had been in church!" a child of the sea folk. the great storm of had done its worst. for days the tempest had raged on land and sea, and when at last the sun struggled through the clouds, broken now and flying in angry masses before the strong sea wind, his beams revealed a scene of desolation. all along the coast of friesland the dikes were down, and the salt water washing over what but a few days before had been vegetable-gardens and fertile fields. the farm-houses on the higher ground stood each on its own little island as it were, with shallow waves breaking against the walls of barns and stoned sheepfolds lower down on the slopes. already busy hands were at work repairing the dykes. men in boats were wading up to their knees in mud and water, men, swimming their horses across the deeper pools, were carrying materials and urging on the work, but many days must pass before the damage could be made good; and meanwhile, how were people to manage for food and firing, with the peat-stacks under water, and the cabbages and potatoes spoiled by the wet? "there is just this one thing," said metje huyt to her sister jacqueline. "little karen shall have her cup of warm milk to-night if everybody else goes without supper; on that i am determined." "that will be good, but how canst thou manage it?" asked jacqueline, a gentle, placid girl of sixteen, with a rosy face and a plait of thick, fair hair hanging down to her waist. metje was a year younger, but she ruled her elder sister with a rod of iron by virtue of her superior activity and vivacity of mind. "i shall manage it in this way,--i shall milk the electoral princess." "but she is drowned," objected jacqueline, opening wide a pair of surprised blue eyes. "drowned? not at all. she is on that little hump of land over there which looks like an island, but is really neighbor livard's high clover-patch. i mean to row out and milk her, and thou shalt go with me." "art thou sure that it is the electoral princess, and not any other cow?" asked jacqueline. "sure? have i not a pair of eyes in my head? sure? don't i know the twist of our own cow's horns? oh, jacque, jacque,--what were thy blue saucers given thee for? thee never seemest to use them to purpose. however, come along. karen must not want for her milk any longer. the mother was making some gruel-water for her when i came away, and karen did not like it, and was crying." some wading was necessary to reach the row-boat, which fortunately had been dragged up to the great barn for repairs before the storm began, and so had escaped the fate which had befallen most of the other boats in the neighborhood,--of being swept out to sea in the reflux of the first furious tide. the barn was surrounded by water now, but it was nowhere more than two or three inches deep. and pulling off their wooden shoes, the sisters splashed through it with merry laughter. like most friesland maidens, they were expert with the oar, and, though the waves were still rough, they made their way without trouble to the wet green slope where the electoral princess was grazing, raising her head from time to time to utter a long melancholy moo of protest at the long delay of her milkers. very glad was she to see the girls, and she rubbed her head contentedly against jacqueline's shoulder while metje, with gentle, skilful fingers, filled the pail with foaming milk. "now stay quietly and go on eating friend livard's clover, since no better may be," she said, patting the cow's red side. "the water is going down, the dikes are rebuilding, presently we will come and take thee back to the home field. meanwhile each day jacque and i will row out and milk thee; so be a good cow and stay contentedly where thou art." "what can that be?" jacqueline asked after the sisters had proceeded a short distance on their homeward way. "what?" "that thing over there;" and she pointed toward a distant pool some quarter of a mile from them and still nearer to the sea. "it looks like--like--oh! metje, do you think it can be some one who has been drowned?" "no,--for it moves,--it lifts its arm," said metje, shading her eyes from the level rays of the sun, and looking steadily seaward. "it is a girl! she is caught by the tide in the pool. row, jacqueline, row! the tide turns in half an hour, and then she will be drowned indeed. the water was very deep out there last night when the flood was full; i heard voorst say so." the heavy boat flew forward, for the sisters bent to the oars with all their strength. jacqueline turned her head from time to time, to judge of their direction and the distance. "it's no neighbor," she answered as they drew nearer. "it's no one i ever saw before. metje, it is the strangest-looking maiden you ever saw. her hair is long,--so long, and her face is wild to look upon. i am afraid." "never mind her hair. we must save her, however long it is," gasped metje, breathless from the energy of her exertions. "steady, now, jacque, here we are; hold the boat by the reeds. girl! i say, girl, do you hear me? we are come to help you." the girl, for a girl it was who half-sat, half-floated in the pool, raised herself out of the water as one alive, and stared at the sisters without speaking. she was indeed a wild and strange-looking creature, quite different from any one that they had ever seen before. "well, are you not going to get into the boat?" cried metje; "are you deaf, maiden, that you do not answer me? you'll be drowned presently, though you swam like forty fishes, for the tide will be coming in like fury through yon breach in the dike. here, let me help you; give me your hand." the strange girl did not reply, but she seemed to understand a part, at least, of what was said to her. she moaned, her face contracted as if with pain, and, raising herself still farther from the water with an effort, she indicated by signs that she was caught in the mud at the bottom of the pool and could not set herself free. this was a serious situation, for, as metje well knew, the mud was deep and adhesive. she sat a moment in thought; then she took her oar, forced the boat still nearer, and, directing jacqueline to throw her weight on the farther edge to avoid an upset, she grasped the cold hands which the stranger held out, and, exerting her full strength, drew her from the mud and over the side of the boat. it rocked fearfully under her weight, the milk splashed from the pail, but the danger was over in half a minute, and the rescued girl, exhausted and half-dead, lay safely on the bottom. "dear me, she will freeze," cried jacqueline hastily; for the poor thing they had saved was without clothing, save for the long hair which hung about her like a mantle. "here, metje, i can spare my cloak to wrap round her limbs, and she must put on thy jacket. we will row the harder to keep ourselves warm." rowing hard was indeed needful, for, summer as it was, the wind, as the sun sank, blew in icy gusts from the zetland zee, whirling the sailless windmills rapidly round, and sending showers of salt spray over the walls of the sheepfolds and other outlying enclosures. the sisters were thoroughly chilled before they had pulled the boat up to a place of safety and helped the half-drowned stranger across the wet slope of grass to the house door. their mother was looking out for them. "where hast thou been, children?" she asked. "ach!" with a look of satisfaction as metje slipped the handle of the milk-pail between her fingers. "that is well! little karen was wearying for her supper. but who hast thou here?" looking curiously at the odd figure whom her daughters were supporting. "oh, mother, it is a poor thing that we saved from drowning in that pool over there," explained metje, pointing seaward. "she is a stranger, from far away it must be, for she understands not our speech, and answers nothing when we ask her questions." "dear me! what should bring a stranger here at this stormy time? but whoever she is, she must needs be warmed and fed." and the good vrow hurried them all indoors, where a carefully economized fire of peats was burning. the main stock of peats was under water still, and it behooved them to be careful of what remained, the father had said. "we shall have to lend her some clothes," said metje in an embarrassed tone. "hers must have been lost in the water somehow." "perhaps she went in to bathe, and the tide carried them away," suggested jacqueline. "bathe! in a tempest such as there has not been in my time! bathe! thou art crazed, child! it is singular, most singular. i don't like it!" muttered the puzzled mother. "well, what needs be must be. go and fetch thy old stuff petticoat, metje, and one of my homespun shifts, and there's that old red jacket of jacqueline's, she must have that, i suppose. make haste, before the father comes in." it was easier to fetch the clothes than to persuade the strange girl to put them on. she moaned, she resisted, she was as awkward and ill at ease as though she had never worn anything of the sort before. now that they scanned her more closely there seemed something very unusual about her make. her arms hung down,--like flippers, metje whispered to her sister. she stumbled when she tried to walk alone; it seemed as though her feet, which looked only half developed, could scarcely support her weight. for all that, when she was dressed, with her long hair dried, braided, and bound with a scarlet ribbon, there was something appealing and attractive in the poor child's face. she seemed to like the fire, and cowered close to it. when milk was offered her, she drank with avidity; but she would not touch the slice of black bread which metje brought, and instead caught up a raw shell-fish from a pail full which voorst had scooped out of the pool of sea-water which covered what had been the cabbage-bed, and ate it greedily. the mother looked grave as she watched her, and was troubled in her mind. "she seems scarce human," she whispered to metje, drawing her to a distant corner; though indeed they might have spoken aloud with no fear of being understood by the stranger, who evidently knew no dutch. "she is like no maiden that ever i saw." "perhaps she is english," suggested metje, who had never seen any one from england, but had vaguely heard that it was an odd country quite different from friesland. the mother shook her head: "she is not english. i have seen one english that time that thy father and i went to haarlem about thy grand-uncle's inheritance. it was a woman, and she was not at all like this girl. metje, but that thou wouldst laugh, and father pettrie might reprove me for vain imaginations, i should guess her to be one of those mermaidens of whom our forefathers have told us. there are such creatures,--my mother's great-aunt saw one with her own eyes, and wrote it down, and my mother kept the paper. often have i read it over. it was off the texel." "could she really be that? why, it would be better--more interesting, i mean--than to have her an englishwoman," cried metje. "we would teach her to spin, to knit. she should go with us to church and learn the ave. would it not be a good and holy work, mother, to save the soul of a poor wild thing from the waves where they know not how to pray?" "perhaps," replied the vrow, doubtfully. she could not quite accustom herself to her own suggestion, yet could not quite dismiss it from her mind. the father and voorst now came in, and supper, delayed till after its usual time by the pressing needs of the stranger, must be got ready in haste. metje fell to slicing the black loaf, jacqueline stirred the porridge, while the mother herself presided over the pot of cabbage-soup which had been stewing over the fire since early morning. voorst, meanwhile, having nothing to do but to wait, sat and looked furtively at the strange girl. she did not seem to notice him, but remained motionless in the chimney-corner, only now and then giving a startled sudden glance about the room, like some wild creature caught in a trap. voorst thought he had never seen anything so plaintive as her large, frightened eyes, or so wonderful as the thick plait of hair which, as she sat, lay on the ground, and was of the strangest pale color, like flax on which a greenish reflection is accidentally thrown. it was no more like metje's ruddy locks, or the warm fairness of jacqueline's braids, than moonlight is like dairy butter, he said to himself. supper ready, metje took the girl's hand and led her to the table. she submitted to be placed on a wooden stool, and looked curiously at the bowl of steaming broth which was set before her; but she made no attempt to eat it, and seemed not to know the use of her spoon. metje tried to show her how to hold it, but she only moaned restlessly, and, as soon as the family moved after the father had pronounced the latin grace which father pettrie taught all his flock to employ, she slipped from her seat and stumbled awkwardly across the floor toward the fire, which seemed to have a fascination for her. "poor thing! she seems unlearnt in christian ways," said goodman huyt; but later, when his wife confided to him her notion as to the stranger's uncanny origin, he looked perplexed, crossed himself, and said he would speak to the priest in the morning. it was no time for fetching heathen folk into homes, he remarked, still less those who were more fish than folk; as for mermaids, if such things there might be, they were no better in his opinion than dolphins or mackerel, and he did not care to countenance them. father pettrie was duly consulted. he scouted the mermaid theory, and, as the vrow had foreboded, gave her a reprimand for putting such ideas into the mind of her family. the girl was evidently a foreigner from some far distant country, he said, a turk it might be, or a daughter of that people, descended from ishmael, who held rule in the land of the holy sepulchre. all the more it became a duty to teach her christian ways and bring her into the true fold; and he bade goodman huyt to keep her till such time as her friends should be found, to treat her kindly, and make sure that she was brought regularly to church and taught religion and her duty. there was no need of this admonition as to kindness. vrow huyt could hardly have used a stray dog less than tenderly. and for jacqueline and metje, they looked upon the girl as their own special property, and were only in danger of spoiling her with over-indulgence. "ebba," they called her, as they knew no name by which to address her, and in course of time she learned to recognize it as hers and to answer to it,--answer by looks and signs, that is, for she never learned to speak, or to make other sound than inarticulate moans and murmurs, except a wild sort of laughter, and now and then, when pleased and contented, a low humming noise like an undeveloped song. from these the family could guess at her mood, from her expressive looks and gestures they made shift to understand her wishes, and she, in turn, comprehended their meaning half by observation, half by instinct; but closer communication was not possible, and the lack of a common speech was a barrier between them which neither she nor they could overcome. gradually "dumb ebba," as the neighbors called her, was taught some of the thrifty household arts in which dame huyt excelled. she learned to spin, and though less expertly, to knit, and could be trusted to stir whatever was set upon the fire to cook, and not let it burn or boil over. when the family went to mass, she went too, limping along with painful slowness on her badly-formed feet, and she bowed her head and knelt with the rest, but how much or how little she understood they could not tell. except on sundays she never left the house. her first attempts at doing so were checked by metje, who could not dismiss from her memory what her mother had said, and was afraid to let her charge so much as look toward the tempting blue waves which shone in the distance; and after a while ebba seemed to realize that she was, so to speak, a kindly treated captive, and resigned herself to captivity. little karen was the only creature whom she played with; sometimes when busied with the child she was noticed to smile, but for every one else her face remained pitifully sad, and she never lost the look of a wild, imprisoned thing. so two years passed, and still dumb ebba remained, unclaimed by friends or kindred, one of the friendly huyt household. the dikes were long since rebuilt, the electoral princess had come back to her own pasture-ground and fed there contentedly in company with two of her own calves, but the poor sea-stray whom metje had pulled into the boat that stormy night remained speechless, inscrutable, a mystery and a perplexity to her adopted family. but now a fresh interest arose to rival ebba's claims on their attention. a wooer came for pretty jacqueline. it was young hans polder, son of a thrifty miller in the neighborhood, and himself owner of one of the best windmills in that part of friesland. jacqueline was not hard to win, the wedding-day was set, and she, metje, and the mother were busy from morning till night in making ready the store of household linen which was the marriage portion of all well-to-do brides. ebba's services with the wheel were also put into requisition; and part of her spinning, woven into towels, which, after a fancy of metje's, had a pattern of little fish all over them, were known for generations as "the mermaid's towels." but this is running far in advance of my story. amid this press of occupation ebba was necessarily left to herself more than formerly, and some dormant sense of loneliness, perhaps, made her turn to voorst as a friend. he had taken a fancy to her at the first,--the sort of fancy which a manly youth sometimes takes to a helpless child,--and had always treated her kindly. now she grew to feel for him a degree of attachment which she showed for no one else. in the evening, when tired after the day's fishing he sat half asleep by the fire, she would crouch on the floor beside him, watching his every movement, and perfectly content if, on waking, he threw her a word or patted her hair carelessly. she sometimes neglected to fill the father's glass or fetch his pipe, but never voorst's; and she heard his footsteps coming up from the dike long before any one else in the house could catch the slightest footfall. the strict watch which the family had at first kept over their singular inmate had gradually relaxed, and ebba was suffered to go in and out at her will. she rarely ventured beyond the house enclosure, however, but was fond of sitting on the low wall of the sheep-fold and looking off at the sea, which, now that the flood had subsided, was at a long distance from the house. and at such moments her eyes looked larger, wilder, and more wistful than ever. as the time for the wedding drew near, voorst fell into the way of absenting himself a good deal from home. there were errands to be done, he said, but as these "errands" always took him over to the little island of urk, where lived a certain pretty olla tronk, who was jacqueline's great friend and her chosen bridesmaiden, the sisters naturally teased him a good deal about them. ebba did not, of course, understand these jokings, but she seemed to feel instinctively that something was in the air. she grew restless, the old unhappy moan came back to her lips; only when voorst was at home did she seem more contented. three days before the marriage, olla arrived to help in the last preparations. she was one of the handsomest girls in the neighborhood, and besides her beauty was an heiress; for her father, whose only child she was, owned large tracts of pasture on the mainland, as well as the greater part of the island of urk, where he had a valuable dairy. the family crowded to the door to welcome olla. she came in with voorst, who had rowed over to urk for her,--tall, blooming, with flaxen tresses hanging below her waist, and a pair of dancing hazel eyes fringed with long lashes. voorst was almost as good looking in his way,--they made a very handsome couple. "and this must be the stranger maiden of whom voorst has so often told me," said olla after the first greetings had been exchanged. she smiled at ebba, and tried to take her hand, but the elfish creature frowned, retreated, and, when olla persisted, snatched her hand away with an angry gesture and put it behind her back. "why does she dislike me so?" asked olla, discomfited and grieved, for she had meant to be kind. "oh, she doesn't dislike thee, she couldn't!" cried peace-loving jacqueline. but ebba did dislike olla, though no one understood why. she would neither go near nor look at her if she could help it, and when, in the evening, she and voorst sat on the doorstep talking together in low tones, ebba hastened out, placed herself between them, and tried to push olla away, uttering pitiful little wailing cries. "what does ail her?" asked jacqueline. metje made no answer, but she looked troubled. she felt that there was sorrow ahead for ebba or for voorst, and she loved them both. the wedding-day dawned clear and cloudless, as a marriage-day should. jacqueline in her bravery of stiff gilded head-dress with its long scarf-like veil, her snowy bodice, and necklace of many-colored beads, was a dazzling figure. olla was scarcely less so, and she blushed and dimpled as voorst led her along in the bridal procession. ebba walked behind them. she, too, had been made fine in a scarlet bodice and a grand cap with wings like that which metje wore, but she did not seem to care that she was so well dressed. her sad eyes followed the forms of olla and voorst, and as she limped painfully along after them, she moaned continually to herself, a low, inarticulate, wordless murmur like the sound of the sea. following the marriage-mass came the marriage-feast. goodman huyt sat at the head of the table, the mother at the foot, and, side by side, the newly-wedded pair. opposite them sat voorst and olla. his expression of triumphant satisfaction, and her blushes and demurely-contented glances, had not been unobserved by the guests; so no one was very much surprised when, in the midst of the festivity, the father rose, and knocked with his tankard on the table to insure silence. "neighbors and kinsfolk, one marriage maketh another, saith the old proverb, and we are like to prove it a true one. i hereby announce that, with consent of parents on both sides, my son voorst is troth-plight with olla the daughter of my old friend tronk who sits here,"--slapping tronk on the shoulder,--"and i would now ask you to drink with me a high-health to the young couple." suiting the action to the word, he filled the glass with hollands, raised it, pronounced the toast, "a high-health to voorst huyt and to his bride olla tronk," and swallowed the spirits at a draught. ebba, who against her will had been made to sit at the board among the other guests, had listened to this speech with no understanding of its meaning. but as she listened to the laughter and applause which followed it, and saw people slapping voorst on the back with loud congratulations and shaking hands with olla, she raised her head with a flash of interest. she watched voorst rise in his place with olla by his side, while the rest reseated themselves; she heard him utter a few sentences. what they meant she knew not; but he looked at olla, and when, after draining his glass, he turned, put his arm round olla's neck, drew her head close to his own, and their lips met in a kiss, some meaning of the ceremony seemed to burst upon her. she started from her seat, for one moment she stood motionless with dilated eyes and parted lips, then she gave a long wild cry and fled from the house. "what is the matter? who screamed?" asked old huyt, who had observed nothing. "it is nothing. the poor dumb child over there," answered his wife. metje looked anxiously at the door. the duties of hospitality held her to her place. "she will come in presently and i will comfort her," she thought to herself. but ebba never "came in" again. when metje was set free to search, all trace of her had vanished. as suddenly and mysteriously as she had come into their lives she had passed out of them again. no one had seen her go forth from the door, no trace could be found of her on land or sea. only an old fisherman, who was drawing his nets that day at a little distance from the shore, averred that just after high noon he had noticed a shape wearing a fluttering garment like that of a woman pass slowly over the ridge of the dike just where it made a sudden curve to the left. he had had the curiosity to row that way after his net was safely pulled in, for he wanted to see if there was a boat lying there, or what could take any one to so unlikely a spot; but neither boat nor woman could be found, and he half fancied that he must have fallen asleep in broad daylight and dreamed for a moment. however that might be, ebba was gone; nor was anything ever known of her again. metje mourned her loss, all the more that jacqueline's departure left her with no mate of her own age in the household. little karen cried for "ebbe" for a night or two, the vrow missed her aid in the spinning, but voorst, absorbed in his happiness, scarcely noted her absence, and olla was glad. gradually she grew to be a tradition of the neighborhood, handed down from one generation to another even to this day, and nobody ever knew whence she came or where she went, or whether it was a mortal maiden or one of the children of the strange, solemn sea folk who was cast so curiously upon the hands of the kindly friesland family and dwelt in their midst for two speechless years. note.--the tradition on which this story is founded, and which is still held as true in some parts of friesland, is referred to by parival in his book, "les delices de hollande." susan coolidge's popular books. 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[illustration] a sequel to "eight cousins." price $ . . roberts brothers, publishers, _boston_. louisa m. alcott's writings. _miss alcott is really a benefactor of households._--h. h. _miss alcott has a faculty of entering into the lives and feelings of children that is conspicuously wanting in most writers who address them; and to this cause, to the consciousness among her readers that they are hearing about people like themselves, instead of abstract qualities labelled with names, the popularity of her books is due._--mrs. sarah j. hale. _dear aunt jo! you are embalmed in the thoughts and loves of thousands of little men and women._--exchange. =little women=; or =meg, jo, beth, and amy=. with illustrations. mo $ . =hospital sketches, and camp and fireside stories.= with illustrations. mo . =an old-fashioned girl.= with illustrations. mo . =little men=: life at plumfield with jo's boys. with illustrations. mo . =jo's boys and how they turned out.= a sequel to "little men." with portrait of "aunt jo." mo . =eight cousins=; or, the aunt-hill. with illustrations. mo . =rose in bloom.= a sequel to "eight cousins." mo . =under the lilacs.= with illustrations. mo . =jack and jill.= a village story. with illustrations. mo . =work=: a story of experience. with character illustrations by sol eytinge. mo . =moods.= a novel. new edition, revised and enlarged. mo . =a modern mephistopheles, and a whisper in the dark.= mo. . =silver pitchers, and independence.= a centennial love story. mo . =proverb stories.= new edition, revised and enlarged. mo. . =spinning-wheel stories.= with illustrations. mo . =a garland for girls, and other stories.= with illustrations. mo . =my boys, &c.= first volume of aunt jo's scrap-bag. mo . =shawl-straps.= second volume of aunt jo's scrap-bag. mo . =cupid and chow-chow, &c.= third volume of aunt jo's scrap-bag. mo . =my girls, &c.= fourth volume of aunt jo's scrap-bag. mo . =jimmy's cruise in the pinafore, &c.= fifth volume of aunt jo's scrap-bag. mo . =an old-fashioned thanksgiving, &c.= sixth volume of aunt jo's scrap-bag. mo . =little women.= illustrated. embellished with nearly characteristic illustrations from original designs drawn expressly for this edition of this noted american classic. one small quarto, bound in cloth, with emblematic designs . =little women series.= comprising little women; little men; eight cousins; under the lilacs; an old-fashioned girl; jo's boys; rose in bloom; jack and jill. large mo volumes in a handsome box . miss alcott's novels in uniform binding in sets. moods; work; hospital sketches; a modern mephistopheles, and a whisper in the dark. volumes. mo . =lulu's library. vols. i., ii., iii.= a collection of new stories. mo . _these books are for sale at all bookstores, or will be mailed, post-paid, on receipt of price, to any address._ roberts brothers, publishers, _boston, mass._ louisa m. alcott's famous books. [illustration] eight cousins; or, the aunt-hill. with illustrations by sol eytinge. price, $ . . roberts brothers, publishers, boston. transcriber's note: punctuation has been standardised. hyphenation has been retained as in the original publication. changes have been made as follows: page friendship with you, "dusting girl," _changed to_ friendship with your "dusting girl," page aunt, who is an invalid, used _changed to_ aunt, who is an invalid, uses page dance, etelklein, leibchen _changed to_ dance, etelklein, liebchen page choose a pretty tint of _changed to_ chose a pretty tint of this ebook was produced by joel erickson, charles franks, juliet sutherland children's edition of touching incidents and remarkable answers to prayer compiled by s. b. shaw first preface for many years in our work among children, we have felt the need of something similar to this book. the cuts are made especially for this work. pictures in this book will suggest thoughts of god and heaven and awaken desires to live pure lives which will sooner or later result in the salvation of many of our young readers. god bless all our readers. --s. b. shaw we are sure these stories will interest you children (and most older people, too). especially good and true stories like these. in all that we have selected there are precious lessons of kindness and sympathy and obedience, gratitude, courage, and faithfulness: then there are two other very important lessons which i wish you to learn. the first is that children can be and should be true christians, that is, have their sins forgiven for jesus' sake and their hearts changed so that they love god and the right and hate everything that is wrong. the second lesson is that we must be christians to be ready to live or ready to die. you will find in this book several accounts of happy deaths of christian children, and you will find also much that tells of the good done by happy christian children that lived. --mrs. s. b. shaw. dedication when i was a little girl about nine years old, my mother gave me the book, "touching incidents and remarkable answers to prayer," for children. this book was published by brother and sister shaw. i still have that book, which is about fifty-nine years old, and i have enjoyed the stories it contained many times. one time while teaching a sunday school class i gave them each one of these books. they liked them very much, but there came a time when you could not buy these books, as other modern books took their place. but i feel that books like this one are still needed, and i am sure that if brother and sister shaw were living they would like to see the stories sent out again to the children. we are adding a few more true stories. so we are praying god's blessings upon this book and dedicating it to the memory of brother and sister shaw who printed the first book in . yours in him, laura m. conkle (this dedication was written in for the first reprint edition.) contents always tell the truth the child heroine of new brunswick annie and vanie's first real prayer god heals a blind girl "does this railroad lead to heaven?" the young martyr a child's prayer answered the converted infidel the stowaway the golden rule exemplified only one vote how a little girl utilized the telephone jesus answers ruth's prayers very sick the dying girl's prayer for her drunken father lost treasures the little girl, who died to save her father's life "forgotten my soul" prevailing prayer of a child the dying news boy new shoes little jennie's sickness and death she died for him "i don't love you now, mother" "little mother" robbie goodman's prayer carletta and the merchant how three sunday school children met their fate he blesses god for the faith of his little girl a wonderful children's meeting "they are not strangers, mama" jessie finds jesus "i'll never, steal again--if father kills me for it" six months' record a child's faith triumphant death of a little child the child's prayer the cat came back how god answered donald's prayer always tell the truth truthfulness is a mark of christianity. the heathen go astray, speaking lies as soon as they are born. in china a mother will give her boy a reward for the best falsehood that he can tell. beginning so early, and regarding it such a fine thing to tell wrong stories, they become skillful in falsehoods. some parents in christian america are very careless in this matter. it made my heart ache one day when i saw a lady in a street car trying to keep her little boy awake by telling him that, if he went to sleep, that man who had all those teeth in his window (referring to a dentist's office they had passed) would come into the car and pull every tooth out of his mouth. the little fellow looked up dreadfully scared, and did his best to keep awake: but i thought to myself, when he finds out what a wrong story his mother has told, he will not believe her even when she tells the truth. he will be like a little fellow of whom i heard once, whose mother told him that if he vent to play in a bank from which the men had been drawing sand for a building, a bear would come out and eat him up. one day another boy tried to coax him to go there and play, but he said, no, he was afraid of the bears. the other boy said there were no bears. "but there be bears cause my mother said there be bears." while they were disputing, the minister happened to come along, and they asked him if there were bears in the sand-bank. he told them there were none. "but," said the first little boy, "my mother said there be bears there." "i am sorry she said so," said the minister, "but the truth is, there are none." the child began to cry, and started for home as fast as he could go. "o mama!" he said, "did you tell me a wrong story? did you tell me there be bears down at the sand-bank when there aren't any?" she saw what a dreadful sin she had committed, and she told him that she was sorry; but she was afraid that if he played there he would get buried in the sand, and she told him that to keep him away. "but, mama, it is such an awful thing to tell a wrong story." "i know it tommy, i know it," she said, tears coming into her eyes; "and we will ask jesus to forgive me and i will never do it again." they knelt down, and she was just about to pray when he said, "wait, mama, let me ask him; maybe you won't tell him truly." that pierced her heart like a dagger. she saw that her little boy had lost confidence in her truthfulness even when she prayed. --jennie f. willing the child heroine of new brunswick we have read a touching incident about three little children, who, last autumn late in the season, wandered alone in a dreary region of new brunswick. the sun had already sunk in the west and the gloom of evening was spreading itself over the surrounding country. the night came on fast; and feeling sure that they could not get home before day break, the eldest (a girl of only six years) quietly placed the two little ones in a sheltered nook on the sea-beach; and fearing the cold chilly night for the younger children, mary stripped off most of her own clothes to keep them warm. she then started off to gather dry sea-weed, and whatever else she could find, to cover them with. having tenderly in this way wrought for some time to make them a nest, she at last fell down exhausted with the cold, and half bare to the cold inclement night. [illustration] that evening the loving father and tender mother sat up wondering at their children's long absence; the hours dragged slowly past with anxious watching and silent listening for the well-known little pattering feet. in vain the fond parents' eyes pierced through the darkness. at length they roused the neighbors with their anxious inquiries after their lost ones. all that night was passed in searching and in tears, till early in the morning, lying fast asleep and somewhat numbed with cold, were found little johnny and lizzie. but oh! a touching spectacle lay near them; their young savior was stiff, cold, and dead on the sea-weed which the poor little child-heroine had not strength to drag into the nook, where those she so deeply loved, and died to save, were sleeping. thus this little new brunswick girl died in her successful and self-sacrificing endeavor to save her brother and sister. does not this recall the love of the lord jesus christ to you who read? mary went to the full extent of human love in dying for her little brother and sister. "greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." yet the lord jesus laid down his life for his enemies; for "scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die; but god commendeth his love toward us," etc. he makes no mistakes. yet how many listen to this story with more emotion and interest than they do to the story of the cross, where the love of jesus, the son of god, is told in letters of blood! --_dawn of the morning_ annie and vanie's first real prayer two sisters, one about five years of age, the other one older, were accustomed to go each saturday morning, some distance from home, to get chips and shavings from a cooper shop. one morning with basket well filled, they were returning home when the elder one was taken suddenly sick with cramps or cholera. she was in great pain, and unable to proceed, much less to bear the basket home. she sat down on the basket, and the younger one held her from falling. the street was a lonely one occupied by workshops, factories, etc. every one was busy within; not a person was seen on the street. the little girls were at a loss what to do. too timid to go into any workshop, they sat a while, as silent and quiet as the distressing pains would allow. soon the elder girl said: "you know, annie, that a good while ago mother told us that if we ever got into trouble we should pray and, god would help us. now you help me to get down upon my knees, and hold me up, and we will pray." [illustration] there on the side-walk did these two little children ask god to send some one to help them home. the simple and brief prayer being ended, the sick girl was again helped up, and sat on the basket, waiting for the answers to their prayers. presently annie saw, far down the street on the opposite side, a man come out from a factory, look around him up and down the street and go back into the factory. "o sister, he has gone in again," said annie. "well," said vanie, "perhaps he is not the one god is going to send. if he is he will come back again." "there he comes again," said annie. "he walks this way. he seems looking for something. he walks slow, and is without his hat. he puts his hand to his head, as if he did not know what to do. oh, sister, he has gone in again; what shall we do?" "that may not be the one whom god will send to help us," said vanie. "if he is, he will come out again." "oh yes, there he is; this time with his hat on," said annie. "he comes this way; he walks slowly, looking around on every side. he does not see us, perhaps the trees hide us. now he sees us, and is coming quickly." a brawny german in broken accent asks: "o children, what is the matter?" "o sir," said annie, sister here is so sick she cannot walk and we cannot get home." "where do you live my dear?" "at the end of this street; you can see the house from here." "never mind," said the man, "i takes you home." so the strong man gathered the sick child in his arms, and with her head pillowed upon his shoulder, carried her to the place pointed out by the younger girl. annie ran around the house to tell her mother that there was a man at the front door wishing to see her. the astonished mother, with a mixture of surprise and joy, took charge of the precious burden and the child was laid upon a bed. after thanking the man, she expected him to withdraw, but instead, he stood turning his hat in his hands as one who wishes to say something, but knows not how to begin. the mother observing this, repeated her thanks and finally said: "would you like me to pay you for bringing my child home?" "oh, no," said he with tears, "god pays me! god pays me! i would like to tell you something, but i speak english so poorly that i fear you will not understand." the mother assured him that she was used to the german and could understand him very well. "i am the proprietor of an ink factory," said he. "my men work by the piece. i have to keep separate accounts with each. i pay them every saturday. at twelve o'clock they will be at my desk for their money. this week i have had many hindrances and was behind with my books. i was working hard at them with the sweat on my face, in my great anxiety to be ready in time. suddenly i could not see the figures; the words in the book all ran together, and i had a plain impression on my mind that some one in the street wished to see me. i went out, looked up and down the street, but seeing no one, went back to my desk and wrote a little. presently the darkness was greater than before, and the impression stronger than before, that someone in the street needed me. "again i went out, looked up and down the street, walked a little way, puzzled to know what i meant. was my hard work and were the cares of business driving me out of my wits? unable to solve the mystery i turned again into my shop and to my desk. "this time my fingers refused to grasp the pen. i found myself unable to write a word, or make a figure; but the impression was stronger than ever on my mind, that someone needed my help. a voice seemed to say: 'why don't you go out as i tell you? there is need of your help.' this time i took my hat on going out, resolved to stay till i found out whether i was losing my senses, or there was a duty for me to do. i walked some distance without seeing anyone, and was more and more puzzled, till i came opposite the children, and found that there was indeed need of my help. i cannot understand it, madam." as the noble german was about leaving the house, the younger girl had the courage to say: "o mother, we prayed." thus the mystery was solved, and with tear-stained cheeks, a heaving breast, and a humble, grateful heart, the kind man went back to his accounts. i have enjoyed many a happy hour in conversation with annie in her own house since she has a home of her own. the last i knew of annie and vanie they were living in the same city, earnest christian women. their children were growing up around them, who, i hope, will have like confidence in mother, and faith in god. --jeigh arrh. annie was the wife of james a. clayton of san jose, california. i have enjoyed their hospitality and esteem both very highly. --james rogers. god heals a blind girl one day we went to visit ruth's aunt. while there, a very dear friend of ruth's aunt came to visit her, bringing annie, her little four-year-old girl who was the same age as ruth. they had taken annie to an eye doctor the day before and he had said that she was blind and would always be blind. the two children played together. ruth would lead her by the hand and this touched her heart very much. after we went home, she came to me crying, and said, "mama, annie is blind. mama, annie can't see anything. mama, annie can't even see her mama!" i (ruth's mother) answered, "no, annie can't see anything." "can't jesus make annie see her mama?" ruth asked. "yes, jesus can do anything," mother told her. "i'll never quit praying till jesus makes annie see her mama," she said. she knelt down and prayed, and for several days she would come in from her play ever so often and kneel down and pray and ask jesus to make annie see her mama. in a few days we received word that annie said "oh, i see my mama!" from then on she could see. when the girls were eight years old and ruth had moved from that state, her aunt (who had also moved) received a letter from annie's mother, saying, "annie seems to be losing her eyesight again." she said also that she would like for her to send annie a new dress while she could still see it, and if she knew where ruth was to ask her to pray for annie that jesus would not let her go blind again. ruth was at the home of her aunt when she received this letter. she prayed earnestly again and god answered her prayer and gave annie her eyesight. it was even better than normal. the last time i saw annie she was a grown woman around forty, and she showed me how she could see to read a long way from the light, which we could not do. surely god did a wonderful work in answer to a little girl's prayer. children, let's pray; and when we pray, believe that god hears, and receive the good things that he has to give us and others. --essie wilson. "does this railroad lead to heaven?" in traveling we often meet with persons of different nationalities and languages; we also meet with incidents of various character, some sorrowful, others, joyful and instructive. one of the latter character i witnessed recently while traveling upon the cars. the train was going west and the time was evening. at a station a little girl about eight years old came aboard, carrying a budget under her arm. she then commenced an eager scrutiny of faces, but all were strange to her. she appeared weary, and placing her budget for a pillow, she prepared to try and secure a little sleep. soon the conductor came along collecting tickets and fare. observing him she asked him if she might lie there. the gentlemanly conductor replied that she might, and then kindly asked for her ticket. she informed him that she had none, when the following conversation ensued. said the conductor: "where are you going?" "i am going to heaven," she answered. "who pays your fare?" he asked again. she then said, "mister, does this railroad lead to heaven, and does jesus travel on it?" "i think not," he answered, "why did you think so?" [illustration] "why sir, before my ma died she used to sing to me of a heavenly railroad, and you looked so nice and kind that i thought this was the road. my ma used to sing of jesus on the heavenly railroad, and that he paid the fare for everybody, and that the train stopped at every station to take people on board; but my ma don't sing to me any more. nobody sings to me now; and i thought i'd take the cars and go to ma. mister, do you sing to your little girl about the railroad that goes to heaven? you have a little girl, haven't you?" he replied, weeping, "no my little dear i have no little girl now. i had one once; but she died some time ago, and went to heaven." "did she go over this railroad, and are you going to see her now?" she asked. by this time every person in the coach was upon their feet, and most of them were weeping. an attempt to describe what i witnessed is almost futile. some said: "god bless the little girl." hearing some person say that she was an angel, the little girl earnestly replied: "yes, my ma used to say that i would be an angel some time." addressing herself once more to the conductor, she asked him, "do you love jesus? i do, and if you love him, he will let you ride to heaven on his railroad. i am going there and i wish you would go with me. i know jesus will let me into heaven when i get there and he will let you in, too, and everybody that will ride on his railroad--yes, all these people. wouldn't you like to see heaven and jesus, and your little girl?" these words, so pathetically and innocently uttered, brought a great gush of tears from all eyes, but most profusely from those of the conductor. some who were traveling on the heavenly railroad shouted aloud for joy. she asked the conductor: "mister, may i lie here until we get to heaven?" "yes, dear, yes," he answered. "will you wake me up then so that i may see my ma and your little girl and jesus?" she asked, "for i do so much want to see them all." the answer came in broken accents but in words very tenderly spoken "yes, dear angel, yes. god bless you." "amen!" was sobbed by more than a score of voices. turning her eyes again upon the conductor, she interrogated him again, "what shall i tell your little girl when i see her? shall i tell her that i saw her pa on jesus' railroad? shall i?" this brought a fresh flood of tears from all present, and the conductor knelt by her side, and, embracing her wept the reply he could not utter. at this juncture the brakeman called out: "h----." the conductor arose and requested him to attend to his (the conductor's) duty at the station, for he was engaged. that was a precious place. i thank god that i was a witness to this scene, but i was sorry that at this point i was obliged to leave the train. we learn from this incident that out of the mouths of even babes god hath ordained strength, and that we ought to be willing to represent the cause of our blessed jesus even in a railroad coach. _the sequel_ brother dosh:--i wish to relieve my heart by writing to you, and saying that that angel visit on the cars was a blessing to me, although i did not realize it in its fullness until some hours after. but blessed be the redeemer, i know now that i am his, and he is mine. i no longer wonder why christians are happy. oh, my joy, my joy! the instrument of my salvation has gone to god. i had purposed adopting her in the place of my little daughter who is now in heaven. with this intention i took her to c--b, and on my return trip i took her back to s--n, where she left the cars. in consultation with my wife in regard to adopting her, she replied, "yes, certainly, and immediately, too, for there is a divine providence in this. oh," said she, "i could never refuse to take under my charge the instrument of my husband's salvation." i made inquiry for the child at s--n and learned that in three days after her return she died suddenly, without any apparent disease, and her happy soul had gone to dwell with her ma, my little girl and the angels in heaven. i was sorry to hear of her death but my sorrow is turned to joy when i think my angel-daughter received intelligence from earth concerning her pa, and that he is on the heavenly railway. oh! sir, me thinks i see her near the redeemer. i think i hear her sing! "i'm safe at home, and pa and ma are coming," and i find myself sending back the reply: "yes, my darling we are coming and will soon be there." oh, my dear sir, i am glad that i ever formed your acquaintance; may the blessing of the great god rest upon you. please write to me, and be assured, i would be most happy to meet you again. --j. m. dosh, in _christian expositor_ the young martyr on the afternoon of august , , a little norwegian boy, named kund iverson, who lived in the city of chicago, illinois, was going to the pastures for his cow as light-hearted, i suppose, as boys usually are when going to the pasture on a summer afternoon. he came at length to a stream of water where there was a gang of idle, ill-looking, big boys; who, when they saw kund, came up to him; and said they wanted him to go into mr. elston's garden and steal some apples. "no," said kund promptly; "i cannot steal, i am sure." "well, but you've got to," they cried. [illustration: the cries of the drowning child grew fainter and fainter] they threatened to duck him, for these wicked big boys had often frightened little boys into robbing gardens for them. little boys, they thought, were less likely to get found out. the threat did not frighten kund, so to make their words good, they seized him and dragged him into the river, and in spite of his cries and struggles, plunged him in. but the heroic boy even with the water gurgling and choking in his throat, never flinched, for he knew that god had said: "thou shalt not steal," and god's law he had made his law; and no cursing, or threats, or cruelty of the big boys would make him give up. provoked by his firmness, i suppose, they determined to see if they could conquer him. so they ducked him again but it still was, "no, no"; and they kept him under water. was there no one near to hear his distressing cries, and rescue the poor child from their cruel grip? no; there was none to rescue him; and gradually the cries of the drowning child grew fainter and fainter, and his struggles less and less, and the boy was drowned. he could die, but would not steal. a german boy who had stood near, much frightened by what he saw, ran home to tell the news. the agonized parents hastened to the spot, and all night they searched for the lifeless body of their lost darling. it was found the next morning; and who shall describe their feelings as they clasped the little form to their bosoms? early piety had blossomed in his little life. he loved his bible and his savior. his seat was never vacant at sunday school, and so intelligent, conscientious and steadfast had he been. perhaps the little boy used often to think how, when he grew up, he would like to be a preacher or a missionary, and do something for his lord and master. he did not know what post he might be called to occupy, even as a little child; and as he left home that afternoon and looked his last look in his mother's face, he thought he was only going after his cows; and other boys, and the neighbors, if they saw him, thought so, too. they did not then know that instead of going to the pasture he was going to preach one of the most powerful sermons of bible law and bible principles the country ever heard. they did not know that he was going to give an example of steadfastness of purpose and of unflinching integrity, such as should thrill the heart of this nation with wonder and admiration. he was then only a norwegian boy, kund iverson, only thirteen years old, but his name was soon to be reckoned with martyrs and heroes. and as the story of his moral heroism winged its way from state to state, and city to city, and village to village, how many mothers cried with full hearts: "may his spirit rest upon my boy!" and strong men have wept over it and exclaimed: "god be praised for the lad!" and rich men put their hands into their pockets and said, "let us build him a monument; let his name be perpetuated, for his memory is blessed." may there be a generation of kund iversons, strong in their integrity, true to their bibles ready to die rather than do wrong. --_the cynosure_ a child's prayer answered the following touching incident which drew tears from my eyes, was related to me a short time since, by a dear friend who had it from an eyewitness of the same. it occurred in the great city of new york, on one of the coldest days in february. a little boy about ten years old was standing before a shoe-store in broadway barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold. a lady riding up the street in a beautiful carriage, drawn by horses finely caparisoned, observed the little fellow in his forlorn condition and immediately ordered the driver to draw up and stop in front of the store. the lady richly dressed in silk, alighted from her carriage, went quickly to the boy, and said: "my little fellow why are you looking so earnestly in that window?" "i was asking god to give me a pair of shoes," was the reply. the lady took him by the hand and went into the store, and asked the proprietor if he would allow one of his clerks to go and buy half a dozen pairs of stockings for the boy. he readily assented. she then asked him if he could give her a basin of water and a towel, and he replied: "certainly," and quickly brought them to her. she took the little fellow to the back part of the store, and, removing her gloves knelt down, washed those little feet and dried them with the towel. [illustration] by this time the young man had returned with the stockings. placing a pair upon his feet, she purchased and gave him a pair of shoes, and tying up the remaining pairs of stockings, gave them to him, and patting him on the head said: "i hope my little fellow, that you now feel more comfo rtable." as she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her hand, and looking up in her face, with tears in his eyes answered her question with these words: "are you god's wife?" --_parish register_ the converted infidel some two miles from the village of c. on a road that wound in among the hills stood a great white house. it was beautifully situated upon a gentle slope facing the south, and overlooking a most charming landscape. away in the distance, a mountain lifted itself against the clear blue sky. at its base rolled a broad, deep river. nestling down in a valley that intervened, reposed the charming little village with its neat cottages, white church, little red school house and one or two mansions that told of wealth. here and there in the distance a pond was visible; while farm houses and humbler dwellings dotted the picture in every direction. such was the home of three promising children, who for the last three months had been constant members of the village sunday school. the eldest was a girl of some fourteen years. john, the second, was a bright, amiable lad of eleven. the other the little rosy-cheeked, laughing ella, with her golden curls and sunny smile had just gathered the roses of her ninth summer. the father of these interesting children was the rich captain lowe. he was a man of mark, such, in many respects as are often found in rural districts. strictly moral, intelligent and well read, kind-hearted and naturally benevolent, he attracted all classes of community to himself and wielded great influence in his town. but, not withstanding all these excellences, mr. lowe was an infidel. he ridiculed in his good-natured way, the idea of prayer, looked upon conversion as a solemn farce, and believed the most of professing christians were well-meaning but deluded people. he was well versed in all the subtle arguments of infidel writers, had studied the bible quite carefully, and could argue against it in the most plausible manner. courteous and kind to all, few could be offended at his frank avowal of infidel principles, or resent his keen, half-jovial sarcasms upon the peculiarities of some weak-minded, though sincere members of the church. but mr. lowe saw and acknowledged the saving influence of the morality of christianity. he had especially, good sense enough to confess that the sunday school was a noble moral enterprise. he was not blind to the fact, abundantly proved by all our criminal records, that few children trained under her influences ever grow up to vice and crime. hence his permission for his children to attend the sunday school. among the many children who knelt as penitents at the altar in the little vestry, one bright beautiful lord's day, were sarah lowe and her brother and sister. it was a moving sight to see that gentle girl, with a mature thoughtfulness far beyond her years, take that younger brother and sister by the hand, and kneel with them at the mercy-seat--a sight to heighten the joy of angels. when the children had told their mother what they had done and expressed a determination to try to be christians; she, too, was greatly moved. she had been early trained in the principles and belief of christianity, and had never renounced her early faith. naturally confiding, with a yielding, conciliatory spirit, she had never obtruded her sentiments upon the notice of her husband, nor openly opposed any of his peculiar views. but now, when her little ones gathered around her and spoke of their new love for the savior, their joy and peace and hope, she wept. all the holy influences of her own childhood and youth seemed breathing upon her heart. she remembered the faithful sermons of the old pastor whose hands had baptized her. she remembered, too, the family altar, and the prayers which were offered morning and evening by her sainted father. she remembered the counsels of her good mother now in heaven. all these memories came crowding back upon her and under their softening influences she almost felt herself a child again. [illustration: it was a moving sight to see that gentle girl take that younger brother and sister by the hand and kneel with them at the mercy seat--a sight to heighten the joy of angels.] when mr. lowe first became aware of the change in his children, he was sorely puzzled to know what to do. he had given his consent for them to attend the sunday school, and should he now be offended because they had yielded to its influence? ought he not rather to have expected this? and after all, would what they called religion make them any worse children? though at first quite disturbed in his feelings, he finally concluded upon second thought to say nothing to them upon the subject, but to let things go on as usual. but not so those happy young converts. they could not long hold their peace. they must tell their father also what they had experienced. mr. lowe heard them, but he made no attempt to ridicule their simple faith, as had been his usual course with others. they were his children, and none could boast of better. still, he professed to see in their present state of mind nothing but youthful feeling, excited by the peculiar circumstances of the last few weeks. but when they began in their childish ardor to exhort him also to seek the lord, he checked their simple earnestness with a peculiar sternness which said to them: "the act must not be repeated." the next sunday the father could not prevent a feeling of loneliness as he saw his household leave for church. the three children, with their mother and joseph, the hired boy, to drive and take care of the horse; all packed into the old commodious carriage and started off. never before had he such peculiar feelings as when he watched them slowly descending the hill. to dissipate these emotions he took a dish of salt and started up the hill to a "mountain pasture" where his young cattle were enclosed for the season. it was a beautiful day in october, that queen month of the year. a soft melancholy breathed in the mild air of the mellow "indian summer," and the varying hues of the surrounding forests, and the signs of decay seen upon every side, all combined to deepen the emotions which the circumstances of the morning had awakened. his sadness increased; and as his path opened out into a bright, sunny spot far up on the steep hillside, he seated himself upon a mossy knoll and thought. before him lay the beautiful valley guarded on either side by its lofty hills, and watered by its placid river. it was a lovely picture; and as his eye rested upon the village, nestling down among its now gorgeous shade-trees and scarlet shrubbery, he could not help thinking of that company who were then gathered in the little church, with its spire pointing heavenward nor of asking himself the question: "why are they there?" while thus engaged, his attention was attracted by the peculiar chirping of a ground sparrow near by. he turned, and but a few feet from him he saw a large black snake, with its head raised about a foot above its body, which lay coiled upon the ground. its jaws were distended, its forked tongue played around its open mouth, flashing in the sunlight like a small lambent flame, while its eyes were intently fixed upon the bird. there was a clear, sparkling light about those eyes that was fearful to behold--they fairly flashed with their peculiar bending fascination. the poor sparrow was fluttering around a circle of some few feet in diameter, the circle becoming smaller at each gyration of the infatuated bird. she appeared conscious of her danger, yet unable to break the spell that bound her. nearer and still nearer she fluttered her little wings to those open jaws; smaller and smaller grew the circle, till at last, with a quick convulsive cry; she fell into the mouth of the snake. as mr. lowe watched the bird he became deeply interested in her fate. he started a number of times to destroy the reptile and thus liberate the sparrow from her danger, but an unconquerable curiosity to see the end restrained him. all day long the scene just described was before him. he could not forget it nor dismiss it from his mind. the last cry of that poor little bird sinking into the jaws of death was constantly ringing in his ears, and the sadness of the morning increased. [illustration] returning to his house, he seated himself in his library and attempted to read. what could be the matter? usually he could command his thoughts at will, but now he could think of nothing but the scene on the mountain, or the little company in the house of god. slowly passed the hours, and many times did he find himself, in spite of his resolution not to do so, looking down the road for the head of his dapple gray to emerge from the valley. it seemed a long time before the rumbling of the wheels was at length heard upon the bridge which crossed the mountain stream, followed shortly by the old carry-all creeping slowly up the hill. the return of the family somewhat changed the course of his thoughts. they did not say any thing to him about the good meeting they had enjoyed, and who had been converted since the last lord's day; but they talked it all over among themselves, and how could he help hearing? he learned all about "how good farmer haskell talked," and "how humble and devoted esquire wiseman appeared," and "how happy benjamin and samuel were"; though he seemed busy with his book and pretended to take no notice of what was said. it was, indeed, true then that the old lawyer had become pious. he had heard the news before, but did not believe it. now he had learned it as a fact. that strong-minded man who had been a skeptic all his days, had ridiculed and opposed religion, was now a subject of "the children's revival." what could it mean? was there something in religion after all? could it be that what these poor fanatics, as he had always called them, said about the future world was correct? was there a heaven, and a hell, and a god of justice? were his darling children right, and was he alone wrong? such were the thoughts of the boasted infidel, as he sat there listening to the half-whispered conversation of his happy children. little ella came and climbed to her long accustomed place upon her father's knee, and throwing her arms around his neck, laid her glowing cheek, half-hidden by the clustering curls, against his own. he knew by her appearance she had something to say but did not dare to say it. to remove this fear, he began to question her about sunday school. he inquired after her teacher and who were her classmates, what she learned, etc. gradually the shyness wore away, and the heart of the innocent praying child came gushing forth. she told him all that had been done that day--what her teacher had said of the prayer meeting at noon, and who spoke, and how many went forward for prayers. then folding her arms more closely around his neck, and kissing him tenderly, she added: "oh, father, i do wish you had been there!" "why do you wish i had been there, ella?" "oh, just to see how happy nellie winslow looked while her grandfather was telling us children how much he loved the savior, and how sorry he was that he did not give his heart to his heavenly father when he was young. then he laid his hand on nellie's head, who was sitting by his side, and said: 'i thank god that he ever gave me a little praying granddaughter to lead me to the savior.' and, father, i never in all my life saw anyone look so happy as nellie did." mr. lowe made no reply--how could he? could he not see where the heart of his darling ella was? could he not see that by what she had told him about esquire wiseman and his pet nellie, she meant he should understand how happy she should be if her father was a christian? ella had not said so in words--that was a forbidden subject--but the language of her earnest loving look and manner was not to be mistaken; and the heart of the infidel father was deeply stirred. he kissed the rosy cheeks of the lovely girl, and taking his hat, left the house. he walked out into the field. he felt strangely. before he was aware of the fact he found his infidelity leaving him, and the simple, artless religion of childhood winning its way to his heart. try as hard as he might he could not help believing that his little ella was a christian. there was a reality about her simple faith and ardent love that was truly "the evidence of things not seen." what should he do? should he yield to thin influence and be led by his children to christ? what! captain lowe, the boasted infidel overcome by the weakness of excited childhood! the thought roused his pride and with an exclamation of impatience at his folly, he suddenly wheeled about, and retracing his steps, with altered appearance, he re-entered his house. his wife was alone with an open bible before her. as he entered he saw her hastily wipe away a tear. in passing her he glanced upon the open page, and his eye caught the words "ye must be born again!" they went like an arrow to his heart. "truth," said a voice within, with such fearful distinctness that he started at the fancied sound; and the influence which he had just supposed banished from his heart returned with ten-fold power. the strong man trembled. leaving the sitting-room, he ascended the stairs to his chamber. passing sarah's room, a voice attracted his attention. it was the voice of prayer. he heard his own name pronounced, and he paused to listen. "oh, lord, save my dear father. lead him to the savior. let him see that he must be born again. oh let not the serpent charm him! save, oh, save my dear father!" he could listen no longer, "_let not the serpent charm him!_" was he then like that helpless little bird, who fluttering around the head of the serpent, fell at last into the jaws of death? the thought shot a wild torrent of newly awakened terror through his throbbing heart. hastening to his chamber he threw himself into a chair. he started! the voice of prayer again fell upon his ear. he listened. yes, it was the clear, sweet accents of his little pet. ella was praying--was praying for him! "o lord, bless my dear father. make him a christian, and may he and dear mother be prepared for heaven!" [illustration: they came from their places of prayer, where they had lifted up their voices to god who had said: "whatsoever ye shall ask the father in my name he will give it you."] deeply moved, the father left the house and hastened to the barn. he would fain escape from those words of piercing power. they were like daggers in his heart. he entered the barn. again he hears a voice. it comes from the hay-loft, in the rich silvery tones of his own noble boy. john had climbed up the ladder, and kneeling down upon the hay was praying for his father. "o lord, save my father!" it was too much for the poor convicted man, and, rushing to the house he fell, sobbing upon his knees by the side of his wife and cried: "o mary, i am a poor, lost sinner! our children are going to heaven, and i--i--am going down to hell! oh, wife, is there mercy for a wretch like me?" poor mrs. lowe was completely overcome. she wept for joy. that her husband would ever be her companion in the way of holiness, she had never dared to hope. yes, there was mercy for even them. "come unto me, and find rest." christ had said it, and her heart told her it was true. together they would go to this loving savior, and their little ones should show them the way. the children were called in. they came from their places of prayer, where they had lifted up their hearts to that god who had said "whatsoever ye shall ask the father in my name he will give it you." they had asked the spirit's influence upon the hearts of their parents, and it had been granted. they gathered around their weeping, broken-hearted father and penitent mother, and pointed them to the cross of jesus. long and earnestly they prayed, and wept and agonized. with undoubting trust in the promises, they waited at the mercy-seat, and their prayers were heard. faith conquered. the spirit came and touched these penitent hearts with the finger of love; and then sorrow was turned to joy--their night, dark and cheerless and gloomy, was changed to blessed day. [illustration] they arose from their knees, and ella sprang to the arms of her father, and together they rejoiced in god. --brother h. p. in _christian advocate_ the stowaway on board an english steamer a little ragged boy, aged nine years, was discovered on the fourth day of the voyage out from liverpool to new york, and carried before the first mate, whose duty it was to deal with such cases. when questioned as to his object in being stowed away, and who had brought him on board, the boy, who had a beautiful sunny face, that looked like the very mirror of truth, replied that his step-father did it, because he could not afford to keep him nor pay his passage to halifax where he had an aunt who was well off, and to whose house he was going. the mate did not believe his story, in spite of the winning face and truthful accents of the boy. he had seen too much of stowaways to be easily deceived by them, he said; and it was his firm conviction that the boy had been brought on board and provided with food by the sailors. [illustration] the little fellow was very roughly handled in consequence. day by day he was questioned and requestioned, but always with the same result. he did not know a sailor on board, and his father alone had secreted and given him the food which he ate. at last the mate, wearied by the boy's persistence in the same story, and perhaps a little anxious to inculpate the sailors, seized him one day by the collar, and dragging him to the fore, told him that unless he told the truth, in ten minutes from that time he would hang from the yard arm. he then made him sit under it on the deck. all around him were the passengers and sailors of the midway watch, and in front of him stood the inexorable mate, with chronometer in his hand, and the other officers of the ship by his side. it was a touching sight to see the pale, proud, scornful face of that noble boy; his head erect, his beautiful eyes bright through the tears that suffused them. when eight minutes had fled the mate told him that he had but two minutes to live, and advised him to speak the truth and save his life. but he replied with the utmost simplicity and sincerity, by asking the mate if he might pray. the mate said nothing, but nodded his head, and turned as pale as a ghost, and shook with trembling like a reed in the wind. and then all eyes turned on him, the brave and noble fellow-- this poor boy whom society owned not, and whose own step-father could not care for--knelt with clasped hands and eyes upturned to heaven. there then occurred a scene as of pentecost. sobs broke from strong, hard hearts, as the mate sprang forward and clasped the boy to his bosom, and kissed him, and blessed him, and told him how sincerely he now believed his story and how glad he was that he had been brave enough to face death and be willing to sacrifice his life for the truth of his word. --_illustrated weekly telegraph_ the golden rule exemplified early one morning while it was yet dark, a poor man came to my door and informed me that he had an infant child very sick, which he was afraid would die. he desired me to go to his home, and, if possible help them. "for," said he, "i want to save its life, if possible." as he spoke thus his tears ran down his face. he then added: "i am a poor man; but, sir, i will pay you in work as much as you ask if you will go." i said: "yes, i will go with you as soon as i take a little refreshment." "oh, sir," said he, "i was going to try to get a bushel of corn, and get it ground to carry home, and i am afraid the child will die before i get there. i wish you would not wait for me"; and then he added: "we want to save the child's life if we can." [illustration] it being some miles to his house, i didn't arrive there until the sun was two hours high in the morning, when i found the mother holding her sick child, and six or seven little boys and girls around her, with clean hands and faces, looking as their mother did, lean and poor. on examining the sick child, i discovered that it was starving to death! i said to the mother: "you don't give milk enough for this child." she said: "i suppose i don't." "well," said i, "you must feed it with milk." she answered: "i would, sir, but i can't get any to feed it with." i then said: "it will be well, then, for you to make a little water gruel, and feed your child." to this she replied: "i was thinking i would if my husband brings home some indian meal. he has gone to try to get some and i am in hopes he will make out." she said this with a sad countenance. i asked her with surprise: "why madam, have you not got anything to eat?" she strove to suppress a tear, and answered sorrowfully: "no sir; we have had but little these some days." i said: "what are your neighbors, that you should suffer among them?" she said, "i suppose they are good people, but we are strangers in this place, and don't wish to trouble any of them, if we can get along without." wishing to give the child a little manna i asked for a spoon. the little girl went to the table drawer to get one, and her mother said to her: "get the longest handled spoon." as she opened the drawer, i saw only two spoons, and both with handles broken off, but one handle was a little longer than the other. i thought to myself this is a very poor family, but i will do the best i can to relieve them. while i was preparing the food for the sick child, i heard the oldest boy (who was about fourteen), say: "you shall have the biggest piece now, because i had the biggest piece before." i turned around to see who it was that manifested such a principle of justice, and i saw four or five children sitting in the corner, where the oldest was dividing a roasted potato among them. and he said to one: "you shall have the biggest piece now," etc. but the other said: "why, brother, you are the oldest, and you ought to have the biggest piece." "no," said the other, "i had the biggest piece." i turned to the mother, and said: "madam, you have potatoes to eat, i suppose?" she replied, "we have had, but this is the last one we have left; and the children have now roasted that for their breakfast." on hearing this, i hastened home, and informed my wife that food was needed for the sick family. i then prescribed a gallon of milk, two loaves of bread, some butter, meat and potatoes, and sent my boy with these; and had the pleasure to hear in a few days that they were all well. --selected. only one vote a local option contest was going on in w--, and mrs. kent was trying to influence her husband to vote "no license." willie kent, six years old, was, of course on his mamma's side. the night before election mr. kent went to see willie safe in bed, and hushing his prattle, he said: "now, willie, say your prayers." "papa, i want to say my own words, tonight," he replied. "all right, my boy, that is the best kind of praying," answered the father. fair was the picture, as willie, robed in white, knelt at his father's knee and prayed reverently: "o dear jesus, do help papa to vote no whiskey tomorrow. amen." morning came, the village was alive with excitement. women's hands, made hard by toil, were stretched to god for help in the decision. the day grew late and yet mr. kent had not been to the polls. willie's prayer sounded in his ears, and troubled conscience said: "answer your boy's petition with your ballot." at last he stood at the polling place with two tickets in his hand-- one, license; the other, "no license." sophistry, policy, avarice said: "vote license." conscience echoed: "no license." after a moment's hesitation, he threw from him the no license ticket and put the license in the box. the next day it was found that the contest was so close that it needed but one vote to carry the town for prohibition. in the afternoon, willie found a no license ticket, and, having heard only one vote was necessary, he started out to find the man who would cast this one ballot against wrong, and in his eagerness he flew along the streets. the saloon men were having a jubilee, and the highways were filled with drunken rowdies. little willie rushed on through the unsafe crowd. [illustration] hark! a random pistol-shot from a drunken quarrel, a pierced heart, and sweet willie kent had his death wound-- they carried him home to his mother. his father was summoned, and the first swift thought that came to him, as he stood over the lifeless boy, was: "willie will never pray again that i vote no whiskey." with a strange still grief he took in his own the quiet little hand chilling into marble coldness, and there between the fingers, firmly clasped, was the no license ballot with which the brave little soul thought to change the verdict of yesterday. mr. kent started back in shame and sorrow. that vote in his hand might have answered the prayer so lately on his lips now dumb, and perhaps averted the awful calamity. fathers, may not the hands of the "thousands slain" make mute appeal to you? your one vote is what god requires of you. you are responsible for it being in harmony with his law as if on it hung the great decision. --_the issue_ how a little girl utilized the telephone a mother living not very far from the post-office in this city, tired with watching over a sick baby, came down stairs for a moment the other day for a few second's rest. she heard the voice of her little, four-year-old girl in the hall by herself, and, curious to know to whom she was talking, stopped for a moment at the half-opened door. she saw that the little thing had pulled a chair in front of the telephone, and stood upon it, with the piece against the side of her head. the earnestness of the child showed that she was in no playing mood, and this was the conversation the mother heard, while the tears stood thick in her eyes; the little one carrying on both sides, as if she were repeating the answers: [illustration] "hello." "well, who's there?" "is god there?" "yes." "is jesus there?" "yes." "tell jesus i want to speak to him." "well?" "is that you, jesus?" "yes. what is it?" "our baby is sick, and we want you to let it get well. won't you, now?" no answer, and statement and question again repeated, and finally answered by a "yes." the little one put the ear-piece back on its hook, clambered down from the chair, and with a radiant face, went for her mother, who caught her in her arms. the baby whose life had been despaired of, began to mend that day and got well. --_elmira free press_ jesus answers ruth's prayer i went to sit up all night with a very sick neighbor. i took ruth, my little five-year-old girl along. when i started to leave the next morning, the folks told me to leave ruth there and they would send her home when she awakened. being very busy, they forgot about the child for some time, and she got up and started home by herself. she started up the fence which she thought led home, but she took the wrong fence and it led out into a large pasture where there were deep canyons, bad cattle, wolves, and other dangers. the neighbors missed ruth and sent their son to find out if ruth had got home all right. her parents became alarmed when they were told that she had left two hours before. her father started out to find his precious child, asking god to direct him to her. after going some distance, he heard someone talking. he stopped and listened. his heart was so glad, for he knew it was his child. she was kneeling by a post praying. and this is what he heard her say, "o sweet jesus, please send my papa to find me! i'm not afraid! i know that you wouldn't let nothing hurt your little girl, but if my papa didn't find me, my mama would cry herself to death and my papa would almost cry his self to death. so please, sweet jesus, send my papa to find me." "here i am, ruth," papa said, as he walked toward her. "oh, papa, i knew jesus would send you to find me!" ruth said as she quickly jumped up and ran to her father, throwing her arms around him. mother was very happy when she saw father coming with their child, and thanked god for caring for her. --essie wilson very sick "mother, mrs. oats is very sick!" ruth said as she came in the door, looking very sad. "mama, she is sick; she is awful sick. i'm sorry for her. what shall we do for her? let's go into the other room and pray and ask jesus what he wants me to do." so mother and her little girl went into the other room and knelt down. ruth began to pray and ask jesus what she should do for mrs. oats. and all of a sudden she jumped up and said, "jesus told me what to do. he told me to go over and lay my hands on her and pray for her, and he would heal her." and without an answer, ruth, who was just six years old ran out the door and didn't stop running till she was at mrs. oat's bedside. "turn over here, mrs. oats," ruth said, as she laid her hand on mrs. oats' shoulder. "i came over here to pray for you and jesus is going to heal you." mrs. oats replied, "well, pray for me, you blessed little angel; if the lord would hear anyone's prayers, he would hear yours." ruth laid her hands on her and prayed for her and the lord instantly healed her. she got up and dressed and came over and told ruth's mother what ruth had done. --essie wilson the dying girl's prayer for her drunken father a child from a poor family had an intemperate father, who often used to abuse his wife and children. this child had been to the sunday school-- had become pious. the physician told the father that his little girl would die. no! he did not believe it. yes, she will--she must die in a few hours. the father hastened to the bedside; would not part with her, he said. "yes, father, you must part with me; i am going to jesus. promise me two things. one is, that you won't abuse mother any more, and will drink no more whiskey." he promised in a solemn, steady manner. the little girl's face lighted up with joy. "the other thing is, promise me that you will pray," said the child. [illustration] "i cannot pray; don't know how," said the poor man. "father, kneel down, please. there, take the words after me. i will pray-- i learned how to pray in sunday school and god has taught me how to pray, too; my heart prays, and you must let your heart pray. now say the words." and she began in her simple language to pray to the savior of sinners. after a little he began to repeat after her; as he went on his heart was interested, and he broke out into an earnest prayer for himself; bewailed his sins, confessed and promised to forsake them; entered into covenant with god; light broke out in his darkness; how long he prayed he did not know; he seemed to have forgotten his child in his prayer. when he came to himself he raised his head from the bed on which he had rested it; there lay the little speaker, a lovely smile was upon the face, her hand was in that of the father, but she had gone to be among the angels. --_power of prayer_ by prime. lost treasures "come, mamie, darling," said mrs. peterson, "before you go into the land of dreams you will kneel at my knee and thank your heavenly father for what he has given you today." mamie came slowly towards her mother, and said, "i've been very naughty, and i can't pray, mama." "if you've been naughty dear, that is the more reason that you need to pray." "but, mama, i don't think god wants little girls to come to him when they are naughty." "you are not naughty now, my dear, are you?" "no, i am not naughty now." "well, then come at once." "what shall i say to god about it, mama?" "you can tell god how very sorry you are." "what difference will that make?" "when we have told god that we are sorry, and when he has forgiven us, then we are as happy as if we had not done wrong; but we cannot undo the mischief." "then, mama, i can never be quite as rich as if i had not had a naughty hour today." "never, my dear; but the thought of your loss may help you to be more careful in the future, and we will ask god to keep you from sinning against him again." --selected the little girl who died to save her father's life [illustration] my dear little friend: i want to tell you about a little girl in switzerland who died to save her father's life. i hope it will lead you to think of him who died a dreadful death on the cross, that we might be saved from sin and sorrow here, and at last dwell with him in bright mansions in the skies. this little girl lived near a deep ravine at the foot of one of the mountains in switzerland. a huge rock had fallen down the mountain side, and lodged in the ravine, and thus made a natural bridge, so that those who wished to pass from one side of the mountain to the other, could cross the bridge. the mother of the child was an earnest christian, and often told her daughter about the blessed savior, who died in the place of sinners, who deserved to be punished that they might be forgiven and saved in heaven. and she told her also that unless she came to jesus, and trusted in him, she would be lost forever. at first the little girl did not care very much about what her mother said, but at last the mother's prayer was answered. her little one felt herself to be a lost sinner, and that christ alone could save her. god's spirit taught her that jesus had paid the debt, and that he stood with open arms ready to receive her, and wash her sins away. then she felt sure that heaven would be her home forever. her father was not a christian. he never gathered his loved ones around the family altar. one day when about to cross the deep ravine upon the rock bridge, the mother saw that it was just ready to fall. the frost had loosened it. she told her little child that if she ever crossed it again it would fall, and she would be dashed in pieces. [illustration] the next day the father told his child that he was going over to the other side across the bridge. she told him it was not safe, but he only laughed at her. he said he had been across it before she was born, and that he was not afraid. when the dear little thing saw that he was determined to go she asked if she could go with him. while they were walking along together, she looked up into her father's face, and said: "father, if i should die, will you promise to love jesus and meet me in heaven?" "pshaw!" he said, "what put such a wild thought into your head? you are not going to die, i hope. you are only a wee thing and will live many years." "yes, but if i should die, will you promise to love jesus just as i do, and meet me in heaven?" "but you are not going to die. don't speak of it," he said. "but if i should die, do promise, father, you will be a good christian and come up and live with jesus and me in heaven." "yes, yes!" he said at last. when they came near the crossing-place, she said: "father, please stand here a minute." she loved him dearly and was willing to run the risk of dying for him. strange as it may seem she walked quickly and jumped upon the loose rock, and down it went with the girl. she was crushed to death. the trembling parent crept to the edge, and eyes dimmed with tears, gazed wildly upon the wreck. then he thought of all his little child had told him about how jesus had died to save us. he thought he had never loved her so much. but he began to see that he had far more reason to love jesus who had suffered much more to save him from the "bottomless pit." and then he thought of the promise he so carefully made to his daughter. what could he do but kneel down and cry to god to have mercy upon him? if they meet in heaven, do you think that daughter will be sorry that she sacrificed her life for her father's sake? can you not imagine that tears often filled the eyes of that father when he spoke of his sainted little one? you would say that he would have been a very wicked man if he had not loved the memory of his child. but is it not a thousand times more wicked for you not to love him who has loved you so much more than that little one loved her father? how can you help loving such a precious savior? will you not ask him to forgive you and help you to live for him the rest of your life? --_the way of faith_ "forgotten my soul" "mother, you have forgotten my soul," so said a little girl, three years old as her kind and careful mother was about to lay her in bed. she had just risen from repeating the lord's prayer. "but, mother," she said, "you have forgotten my soul." "what do you mean, anna?" "why, 'now i lay me down to sleep, i pray the lord my soul to keep! if i should die before i wake, i pray the lord my soul to take.' "we have not said that." the child meant nothing more, yet her words were startling. and, oh! from how many rosy lips might they come with mournful significance! [illustration] you, fond mother, so busy hour after hour preparing and adorning garments for their pretty little form, have you forgotten the soul? do you commend it earnestly to the care of its god and savior? are you leading it to commit itself, in faith and love to his keeping?--selected. prevailing prayer of a child at the close of a prayer-meeting, the pastor observed a little girl about twelve years of age remaining upon her knees, when most of the congregation had retired. thinking the child had fallen asleep, he touched her and told her it was time to return home. to his surprise he found that she was engaged in prayer, and he said: "all things whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." she looked up at the pastor earnestly, and inquired: "is that so? does god say that?" [illustration] he took up a bible and read the passage aloud. she immediately began praying: "lord, send my father here; lord, send my father to the chapel." thus she continued for about half an hour, attracting by her earnest cry the attentions of persons who had lingered about the door. at last a man rushed into the chapel, ran up the aisle and sank upon his knees by the side of his child, exclaiming: "what do you want of me?" she threw her arms about his neck, and began to pray: "oh, lord, convert my father!" soon the man's heart was melted and he began to pray for himself. the child's father was three miles from the chapel when she began praying for him. he was packing goods in a wagon and felt impressed with an irresistible impulse to return home. driving rapidly to his house, he left the goods in his wagon and hastened to the chapel, where he found his daughter crying mightily to god in his behalf; and he was led there to the savior. --_foster's encyclopedia_ the dying news boy in a dark alley in the great city of new york, a small, ragged boy might be seen. he appeared to be about twelve years old, and had a careworn expression on his countenance. the cold air seemed to have no pity as it pierced through his ragged clothes, and made the flesh beneath blue and almost frozen. [illustration: "i am dying now, because i feel so queer; and i can hardly see you. i can kinder see the angels holding out their hands for me to come to that beautiful place they call heaven."] this poor boy had once a happy home. his parents died a year before, and left him without money or friends. he was compelled to face the cold, cruel world with but a few cents in his pocket. he tried to earn his living by selling newspapers and other such things. this day everything seemed to go against him, and in despair he threw himself down in the dark alley, with his papers by his side. a few boys gathered around the poor lad, and asked in a kind way (for a street arab): "say, johnny, why don't you go to the lodges?" (the lodge was a place where almost all the boys stayed at night, costing but a few cents.) but the poor little lad could only murmur that he could not stir, and called the boys about him, saying: "i am dying now, because i feel so queer: and i can hardly see you. gather around me closer boys. i cannot talk so loud. i can kinder see the angels holding out their hands for me to come to that beautiful place called heaven. goodbye, boys. i am to meet father and mother." and, with these last words on his lips, the poor lad died. next morning the passers-by saw a sight that would soften the most hardened heart. there, lying on the cold stone, with his head against the hard wall, and his eyes staring upward, was the poor little frozen newsboy. he was taken to the chapel near by, and was interred by kind hands. and those who performed this act will never forget the poor forsaken lad. --_golden dawn_ new shoes "i wonder if there can be a pair of shoes in it!" little tim sat on the ground close beside a very ugly dark-colored stone jug. he eyed it sharply, but finding it quite impossible to see through its sides, pulled out the cork and peered anxiously in. "can't see nothin', but it's so dark in there i couldn't see if there was anything. i've a great mind to break the hateful old thing." he sat for awhile thinking how badly he wanted a pair of shoes to wear to the sunday school picnic. his mother had promised to wash and mend his clothes, so that he might go looking very neat indeed; but the old shoes were far past all mending and how could he go barefoot? then he began counting the chances of his father being very angry when he should find his jug broken. he did not like the idea of getting a whipping for it, as was very likely, but how could he resist the temptation of making sure about those shoes? the more he thought of them, the more he couldn't. he sprang up and hunted around until he found a good size brick-bat, which he flung with such vigorous hand and correct aim that the next moment the old jug lay in pieces before his eyes. how eagerly he bent over them in the hope of finding not only what he was so longing for but, perhaps, other treasure! but his poor little heart sank as he turned over the fragments with trembling fingers. nothing could be found among the broken bits, wet on the inside with a bad-smelling liquid. tim sat down again and sobbed as he had never sobbed before; so hard that he did not hear a step beside him until a voice said: "well, what's all this?" he sprang up in great alarm. it was his father, who always slept late in the morning, and was very seldom awake so early as this. [illustration] "who broke my jug?" he asked. "i did," said tim, catching his breath half in terror and half between his sobs. "why did you?" tim looked up. the voice did not sound quite so terrible as he had expected. the truth was his father had been touched at sight of the forlorn figure, so very small and so sorrowful, which had bent over the broken jug. "why," he said, "i was looking for a pair of new shoes. i want a pair of shoes awful bad to wear at the picnic. all the other chaps wear shoes." "how came you to think you'd find shoes in a jug?" "why mama said so. i asked her for some new shoes and she said they had gone into the black jug, and that lots of other things had gone into it, too--coats and hats, and bread and meat and things--and i thought if i broke it i'd find them all, and there ain't a thing in it--and mama never said what wasn't so before--and i thought 'twould be so--sure." and tim, hardly able to sob out the words, feeling how keenly his trust in mother's word had added to his great disappointment, sat down again, and cried harder than ever. his father seated himself on a box in the disorderly yard and remained quiet for so long a time that tim at last looked timidly up. "i am real sorry i broke your jug, father. i'll never do it again." "no, i guess you won't," he said, laying a hand on the rough little head as he went away leaving tim overcome with astonishment that his father had not been angry with him. two days after, on the very evening before the picnic, he handed tim a parcel, telling him to open it. "new shoes! new shoes!" he shouted. "oh, father, did you get a new jug and were they in it?" "no, my boy, there isn't going to be a new jug. your mother was right all the time--the things all went into the jug; but you see getting them out is no easy matter so i am going to keep them out after this." --_new york observer_ little jennie's sickness and death little jennie was eight years old, march , . the april following she was taken very sick, and from that time until june , she seemed a little suffering angel. then jesus, who had so blessedly sustained her during all her sufferings took her to himself. she would say, when able to talk: "mama, i do not care what i suffer, god knows best." when she was very low, we would often see her dear lips moving, and listening, hear her praying. she would finish her prayer and after saying "amen" having noticed that we were listening to her, would look up into our faces to see if we wanted anything. this patience and devotion characterized her whole life. often, when she was at play with her sister, who was the older by five years, when some little trouble would arise, she would take her sister by the hand and say: "kitty, let's tell jesus." then bowing her little head, she would pour out her whole heart in prayer to god, with the fervency that is shown by a true christian. about three weeks after she was taken ill her little body was paralyzed and drawn all out of shape it seemed. then in a few days her little limbs were so we could almost straighten them. what suffering she endured all that time, no one knows but those who were with her. may th, which was tuesday, while suffering terribly, she said: "mama, play and sing." i took my guitar, and without stopping to think what to sing, began that beautiful song in the gospel hymns: "nearer my home, today, than i have been before." i could praise god just then, for i was filled with his spirit. she lay there looking at me with her little blue eyes and trying in her weak voice to help me. at last she seemed soothed by the music. but we knew that jesus in his infinite love, had quieted her for a time, because we were willing to submit to his will. we had said all the time: "lord, not my will, but thine." she rested quite well until about three o'clock in the afternoon; then suddenly she spoke and her voice sounded quite strong. she said: "oh, mama see those people, how funny they look! they look like poles." she was lying so that she could look out of the window and as she spoke her eyes seemed to rest on some object there. then she spoke louder; "oh, mamma, come and see the little children! i never saw so many in my life." i sat down on the front of the bed and said: "jennie, is there any there that you know?" she looked them over so earnestly, then said: "no, not one." i asked her how they looked. she said: "mama, every one has a gold crown on its head, and they are all dressed in white." i thought that jesus was coming for her then. after telling me that there were none that she knew she sank back on the pillows exhausted. but in a few moments she raised up again and said: "oh, mama, hear that music! did you ever hear such grand music? now, do not shut the windows tonight, will you?" i told her that i would not. the next morning she called kittie into the room and said: "kittie, i want to tell you what i saw last night." she then proceeded to tell her the same as she had told me the evening before. then she said: "now, kittie, you will forgive me for ever being cross to you won't you?" kittie answered, "little darling, you have never been cross to me. will you forgive me, sister, for being cross to you?" "darling sister," she said, "that is all right." thursday night she was paralyzed in her left side so that she had no use of it. friday all day she lay unconscious, and that night the same. saturday, about ten o'clock, she commenced to whisper. we could hear her say: "papa, mama." we tried to understand her, but at first could not. she kept whispering plainer, and finally we heard her say: "take--me-- upstairs. i--want--to--lie--on--my--own--bed--once--more." but of course we could not move her. suddenly she said aloud: "i am going to die! kiss me quick, mama." i bent down and kissed her, and she looked so wretched. i said: "jennie, you will not have to go alone; jesus will take you." she answered: "i know it. i wish that he would come this minute. kiss me again, mama." i did so; then she wished us to sing. again, without giving one thought, i commenced singing the same words that i sang the tuesday before. she raised her right hand arm's length, and began to wave it and bow her head. oh! she was so happy. then she said: "play." they brought the guitar, and she continued to wave her little hand, while i played and sang the whole piece. one of her aunts, standing near the bed took hold of her hand to stop it, but it moved just the same; and i said: "ollie, let go of her hand, that is the lord's doings." after i finished, she kissed her father, mother, and sister and bade them goodbye; then called four other very dear friends and told them goodbye after kissing them. she then called for a book and wanted the music teacher, who was present, to play and sing a piece which she dearly loved. before she was sick she would have little prayer meetings, and her sweet little face would shine with happiness. she would say: "oh, mama, how the lord has blessed me." [illustration: "they brought the guitar, and she continued to wave her little hand, while i played and sang the whole piece."] while the dear teacher was playing and singing her favorite she was waving her little hand. we sang three or four other pieces around her bed. we all thought that jesus would take her then. oh, what joy! it was heaven below. jesus was there and the room was filled with glory on account of of his presence. two of her aunts said that it seemed as though they were in heaven. she never spoke after that, but would try to make us understand by motioning when she wanted anything. sometimes it would take us a long time, but she would be so patient. she was ready and waiting. she had peace that the world cannot give, and, praise god! that the world cannot take away. the dear little one lived until the next tuesday afternoon, and went to jesus about three o'clock. that was the time she saw the vision the tuesday before. tuesday morning before daylight she tried to tell me something. i said "sing?" she looked so happy and bowed her head. i began singing: "i am jesus' little lamb." she bowed her head again. in the forenoon she kept looking at her aunts, ollie and belle, and pointing up. oh! it meant so much. it seemed to me that she was saying, that it meant: "meet me in heaven." finally she motioned for me to raise the window curtain. i did so and she looked out the window so eagerly, as though she was expecting to see the little children. then the little blue eyes closed to open no more in this world, but in heaven. --mrs. l. jones. she died for him [illustration] a poor emigrant had gone to australia to "make his fortune," leaving a wife and little son in england. when he had made some money, he wrote home to his wife: "come out to me here; i send the money for your passage; i want to see you and my boy." the wife took ship as soon as she could, and started for her new home. one night, as they were all asleep there sounded the dreaded cry of "fire, fire!" everyone rushed on deck and the boats were soon filled. the last one was just pushing off then a cry of "there are two more on deck," arose. they were the mother and her son. alas! "only room for one," the sailors shouted. which was to go? the mother thought of her far away home, her husband looking out lovingly and longingly for his wife. then she glanced at the boy, clinging frightened to her skirts. she could not let him die. there was no time to lose. quick! quick! the flames were getting around. snatching the child, she held him to her a moment. "willie, tell father i died for you!" then the boy as lowered into the sailor's willing arms. she died for him. --selected. "i don't love you now, mother" a great many years ago, i knew a lady who had been sick for two years, as you have seen many a one, all the while slowly dying with consumption. she had one child--a little boy named henry. one afternoon i was sitting by her side and it seemed as if she would cough her life away. her little boy stood by the post of the bed, his blue eyes filled with tears to see her suffer so. by and by the terrible cough ceased. henry came and put his arms around his mother's neck, nestled his head in his mother's bosom, and said, "mother, i do love you; i wish you wasn't sick." an hour later, the same loving, blue-eyed boy came in all aglow, stamping the snow off his feet. "oh, mother, may i go skating? it is so nice--ed and charlie are going." "henry," feebly said the mother, "the ice is not hard enough yet." "but, mother," very pettishly said the boy, "you are sick all the time-- how do you know?" "my child, you must obey me," gently said his mother. "it is too bad," angrily sobbed the boy, who an hour ago had so loved his mother. "i would not like to have my little boy go," said the mother, looking sadly at the little boy's face, all covered with frowns; "you said you loved me--be good." "no, i don't love you now, mother," said the boy, going out and slamming the door. again that dreadful coughing came upon her, and _we_ thought no more of the boy. after the coughing had commenced, i noticed tears falling thick upon her pillow, but she sank from exhaustion into a light sleep. in a little while muffled steps of men's feet were heard coming into the house, as though carrying something; and they were carrying the almost lifeless body of henry. angrily had he left his mother and gone to skate--disobeying her; and then broken through the ice, sunk under the water, and now saved by a great effort, was brought home barely alive to his sick mother. i closed the doors feeling more danger for her life than the child's and coming softly in, drew back the curtains from the bed. she spoke, "i heard them--it is henry; oh, i knew he went--is he dead?" but she never seemed to hear the answer i gave her. she commenced coughing--she died in agony--strangled to death. the poor mother! the boy's disobedience killed her. after a couple of hours i sought the boy's room. [illustration] "oh, i wish i had not told mother i did not love her. tomorrow i will tell her i do," said the child sobbing painfully. my heart ached; tomorrow i knew we must tell him she was dead. we did not till the child came fully into the room, crying, "mother, i do love you." oh! may i never see agony like that child's, as the lips he kissed gave back no kiss, as the hands he took fell lifeless from his hand, instead of shaking his hand as it always had, and the boy knew she was dead. "mother, i do love you now," all the day he sobbed and cried, "o mother, mother, forgive me." then he would not leave his mother. "speak to me, mother!" but she could never speak again, and he--the last words she had ever heard him say, were, "mother, i don't love you now." that boy's whole life was changed; sober and sad he was ever after. he is now a gray haired old man, with one sorrow over his one act of disobedience, one wrong word embittering all his life--with those words ever ringing in his ears, "mother, i don't love you now." will the little ones who read this remember, if they disobey their mother, if they are cross and naughty, they say every single time they do so, to a tender mother's heart, by their actions if not in the words of henry, the very same thing, "i don't love you now, mother." "little mother" she was a clear-eyed, fresh-cheeked little maiden, living on the banks of the great mississippi, the oldest of four children, and mother's "little woman" always. they called her so because of her quiet, matronly care of the younger mayfields--that was the father's name. her own name was the beautiful one of elizabeth, but they shortened it to bess. she was thirteen when one day mr. mayfield and his wife were called to the nearest town, six miles away. "be mother's little woman, dear," said mrs. mayfield as she kissed the rosy face. her husband added: "i leave the children in your care, bess; be a little mother to them." bess waved her old sun-bonnet vigorously, and held up the baby rose, that she might watch them to the last. old daddy jim and mammy had been detailed by mr. mayfield to keep an unsuspected watch on the little nestlings, and were to sleep at the house. thus two days went by, when daddy jim and mammy begged to be allowed to go to the quarters where the negroes lived, to see their daughter, "jennie, who was pow'ful bad wid the toothache." they declared they would be back by evening, so bess was willing. she put the little girls to bed and persuaded rob to go; then seated herself by the table with her mother's work-basket, in quaint imitation of mrs. mayfield's industry in the evening time. but what was this? her feet touched something cold! she bent down and felt around with her hand. a pool of water was spreading over the floor. she knew what it was; the mississippi had broken through the levee. what should she do? mammy's stories of how homes had been washed away and broken in pieces were in her mind. "oh, if i had a boat!" she exclaimed. "but there isn't anything of the sort on the place." she ran wildly out to look for mammy; and stumbled over something sitting near the edge of the porch. a sudden inspiration took her. here was her boat! a very large, old-fashioned, oblong tub. the water was now several inches deep on the porch and she contrived to half-float, half-row the tub into the room. without frightening the children she got them dressed in the warmest clothes they had. she lined the oblong tub with a blanket, and made ready bread and cold meat left from supper. with rob's assistance she dragged the tub upstairs. there was a single large window in the room, and they set the tub directly by it, so that when the water rose the tub would float out. there was no way for the children to reach the roof, which was a very steep, inclined one. it did not seem long before the water had very nearly risen to the top of the stairs leading from below. bess flung the window open, and made rob get into their novel boat; then she lifted in kate, and finally baby rose, who began to cry, was given into rob's arms, and now the little mother, taking the basket of food, made ready to enter, too; but, lo! there was no room for her with safety to the rest. bess paused a moment, drew a long breath, and kissed the children quietly. she explained to rob that he must guard the basket, and that they must sit still. "goodbye, dears. say a prayer for sister, rob. if you ever see father and mother, tell them i took care of you." then the water seized the insecure vessel, and out into the dark night it floated. [illustration: ] the next day mr. mayfield, who, with his neighbors, scoured the broad lake of eddying water that represented the mississippi, discovered the tub lodged in the branches of a sycamore with the children weeping and chilled, but safe. and bess? ah, where was bess, the "little mother," who in that brief moment resigned herself to death? they found her later, floating on the water with her brave childish face turned to the sky; and as strong arms lifted her into the boat, the tears from every eye paid worthy tribute to the "little mother." --_detroit free press_ robbie goodman's prayer "what can be the matter with walter," thought mama ellis as she sat sewing in her pleasant sitting-room. "he came in so very quietly, closed the door gently and i think i even heard him go to the closet to hang up his books. oh! dear. i hope he isn't going to have another attack of 'grippe,'" and mrs. ellis shivered as she glanced out at the snow-covered landscape. as her eyes turned once more to the warm, luxurious room in which she was seated, the portieres were pushed aside and a little boy of ten years of age entered. little walter was all that remained of four beautiful children, who, only a year ago, romped gaily through the large halls. that dread disease, diphtheria, had stolen the older brother and laughing little sisters in one short week's time, so that now, as the sad anniversary came near to hand, mrs. ellis' heart ached for her lost birdlings and yearned more jealously than ever over her remaining little one. today his usually merry face was very grave and he looked very thoughtful as he gave his mother her kiss and allowed himself to be drawn upon her lap. "what ails mother's pet? is he sick?" she asked anxiously. "no, mother dear, i'm not sick, but i feel so sad at heart. you see," he continued in answer to her questioning look, "robbie goodman and i always walk together going and coming from school, and i have noticed that he has never worn any overcoat this winter, but you know its been unusually warm and i thought perhaps his mother did not make him wrap up like you did me, but this morning it was so cold and he was just shivering, but he never had on any overcoat--just his mittens and muffler and cap were his wraps. of course i noticed it, for nearly everyone else was all bundled up; but i didn't say anything as i did not want to be impolite. after awhile he said, 'my, i am so cold,' and i said: 'where's your overcoat?' then he told me it was too small and his papa can't buy him any this winter so he is afraid he will have to stop school. his mama says she would cut his papa's up for him, only then he would not have any; and of course he must have one to wear when he goes to the chapel and to see sick people. even that one is thin and patched. he says he and his little sisters have been praying so hard for an overcoat for him and shoes for them, but they did not come at christmas like they thought they would, and they are real discouraged. "tonight, mother," continued walter, "he had an awful cold and coughed just like our harry did last year," and the long pent up tears flowed from the child's eyes. as mother and son dried their tears, the child looked up with perfect confidence as he said, "the lord will answer robbie's prayer, won't he. mama?" [illustration] "yes darling," said mrs. ellis; and sent the child off to the play room. "by the way, my dear," remarked mrs. ellis as they sat chatting at the tea-table after walter had retired, "what has become of that preacher goodman who preached for us once on trial?" "oh, he has a mission down on the other side of the city, but he lives on this side as moore gives him the house rent free. i met him the other day. he looked very needy. the man had wonderful talents and might have a rich congregation and improve himself; but he is persistent in his ideas concerning this holiness movement, and of course a large church like ours wants something to attract and interest instead of such egotistical discourses. i, for one, go to sleep under them." and mr. ellis drew himself up with a pompous air as he went into the library, whither his wife presently followed. he had picked up a newspaper and was apparently absorbed, but mrs. ellis had not had her say, so she continued "walter was telling me about the little boy. he--" "oh, yes," interrupted her husband, "he met me in the hall and poured out the whole story. the child's nerves were all wrought up, too. he should not be allowed to worry over such things. he wants me to give up buying him the fur-trimmed overcoat and get a coat and shoes for goodman's children, as they were praying so hard for them, but i have enough to do without clothing other people's children. if goodman would quit his cranky notions and use his talents for people who could understand him, instead of preaching to those ragamuffins he might now be receiving a magnificent salary and clothing himself and family decently." "but paul," said mrs. ellis, "surely you would not have mr. goodman sacrifice his convictions simply for money and praise, when you yourself, are convinced that his doctrines are sound? besides he must be doing a good work down among the poor classes of the city as it appears the rich don't want him." "then let the poor give enough to keep him." "they do give far beyond their means but the lord calls on such as us to give. i know it has been an unusually hard year but the lord has blessed us and he will hold us to an account. i feel very sad as the anniversary of our darlings' departure draws near and i dread to think of any little ones suffering while we could so easily help them." "i don't see how you can feel that we have been so blessed. when the house is so quiet and i think of those white graves in the cemetery i confess i feel very bitter." "paul, my dear husband, don't feel that way. just think of our three treasures in heaven, an added claim to that glorious realm, away from this cold and suffering. remember also that we have one left, to live for, to train. and, paul, let us train him for the master and in such a way that we may never have the feeling that it were better if he, too, had departed when he was pure and innocent. let us encourage benevolence and gentleness and if he wishes to go without the fur-trimmed coat, why not do as he asks?" mrs. ellis kissed her husband and quietly left the room. long and late, paul ellis sat there and many things, ghosts of the past, rose before him. as the midnight chimes rang out he knelt and prayed. "oh, lord, forgive me. i have gone astray and turned to my own way. i have been prejudiced. it was my influence which turned the tide against robert goodman. thou knowest. now, if thou wilt only forgive and help me i will walk in the light as thou sendest it, even consenting to be called a 'holiness crank.'" [illustration: ] a few days afterward robert goodman received a large package from an unknown friend containing a warm overcoat and three pairs of shoes. his father also received a present. it came through the mail and was an honest confession of a wrong done him, also a check for one hundred dollars. one year later this church gave a unanimous call to brother goodman and the revival which broke out that winter was unprecedented in the annals of that church. verily, "a little child shall lead them." --luella watson kinder, in _christian witness_ carletta and the merchant "if i could only have your faith, gladly would i--but i was born a skeptic. i cannot look upon god and the future as _you_ do." so said john harvey as he walked with a friend under a dripping umbrella. john harvey was a skeptic of thirty years standing and apparently hardened in his unbelief. everybody had given him up as hopeless. reasoning ever so calmly made no impression on the rocky soil of his heart. alas! it was sad, very sad! but one friend had never given him up. when spoken to about him-- "i will talk with and pray for that man until i die," he said; "and i will have faith that he may yet come out of darkness into the marvelous light." and thus whenever he met him (john harvey was always ready for a "talk,") mr. hawkins pressed home the truth. in answer, on that stormy night, he said: "god can change a skeptic, john. he has more power over your heart than you, and i mean still to pray for you." "oh, i have no objections, none in the world--seeing is believing, you know. i'm ready for any miracle; but i tell you it would take nothing short of a miracle to convince me. let's change the subject. i'm hungry and it's too far to go up town to supper on this stormy night. here's a restaurant: let us stop here." how warm and pleasant it looked in the long, brilliant dining saloon! the two merchants had eaten, and were just on the point of rising when a strain of soft music came through the open door--a child's sweet voice. "'pon my word, that is pretty," said john harvey; "what purity in those tones!" "out of here, you little baggage!" cried a hoarse voice, and one of the waiters pointed angrily to the door. "let her come in," said john harvey. "we don't allow them in this place, sir," said the waiter, "but she can go into the reading-room." "well, let her go somewhere. i want to hear her," responded the gentleman. all this time the two had seen the shadow of something hovering backwards and forwards on the edge of the door; now they followed a slight little figure, wrapped in a patched cloak, patched hood, and leaving the mark of wet feet as she walked. curious to see her face--she was very small--john harvey lured her to the farthest part of the great room where there were but few gentlemen, and then motioned her to sing. the little one looked timidly up. her cheek was of olive darkness, but a flush rested there, and out of the thinnest face, under the arch of broad temples, deepened by masses of the blackest hair looked two eyes whose softness and tender pleading would have touched the hardest heart. "that little thing is sick, i believe," said john harvey, compassionately. "what do you sing, child?" he added. "i sing italian or a little english." john harvey looked at her shoes. "why," he exclaimed, and his lips quivered, "her feet are wet to her ankles; she will catch her death of cold." by this time the child had begun to sing, pushing back her hood, and folding before her her little thin fingers. her voice was wonderful; and simple and common as were both air and words, the pathos of the tones drew together several of the merchants in the reading-room. the little song commenced thus: "there is a happy land, far, far away." never could the voice, the manner, of that child be forgotten. there almost seemed a halo around her head; and when she had finished, her great speaking eyes turned toward john harvey. "look here, child; where did you learn that song?" he asked. "at the sunday school, sir." "and you don't suppose there is a happy land?" "i know there is; i'm going to sing there," she said, so quickly, so decidedly that the men looked at each other. "going to sing there?" "yes, sir. mother said so. she used to sing to me until she was very sick. then she said she wasn't going to sing any more on earth, but up in heaven." "well--and what then?" "and then she died, sir," said the child; tears brimming down the dark cheek now ominously flushed scarlet. john harvey was silent for a few moments. presently he said: "well, if she died, my little girl, you may live, you know." "oh, no, sir! no, sir! i'd rather go there; and be with mother. sometimes i have a dreadful pain in my side and cough as she did. there won't be any pain up there, sir; it's a beautiful world!" "how do you know?" faltered on the lips of the skeptic. "my mother told me so, sir." words how impressive! manner how child-like, and yet so wise! john harvey had had a praying mother. his chest labored for a moment-- the sobs that struggled for utterance could be heard even in their depths--and still those large, soft, lustrous eyes, like magnets impelled his glance toward them. "child you must have a pair of shoes." john harvey's voice was husky. hands were thrust in pockets, purses pulled out, and the astonished child held in her little palm more money than she had ever seen before. "her father is a poor, consumptive organ-grinder," whispered one. "i suppose he's too sick to be out tonight." along the soggy street went the child, under the protection of john harvey, but not with shoes that drank the water at every step. warmth and comfort were hers now. down in the deep den-like lanes of the city walked the man, a little cold hand in his. at an open door they stopped; up broken, creaking stairs they climbed. another doorway was opened, and a wheezing voice called out of the dim arch, "carletta!" "o father! father! see what i have brought you! look at me! look at me" and down went the silver, and venting her joy, the poor child fell; crying and laughing together, into the old man's arms. was he a man? a face dark and hollow, all overgrown with hair black as night and uncombed--a pair of wild eyes--a body bent nearly double--hands like claws. "did he give you all this, my child?" "they all did, father; now you shall have soup and oranges." "thank you, sir--i'm sick, you see--all gone, sir!--had to send the poor child out, or we'd starve. god bless you, sir! i wish i was well enough to play you a tune," and he looked wistfully towards the corner where stood the old organ, baize-covered, the baize in tatters. one month after that the two men met again as if by agreement, and walked slowly down town. treading innumerable passages they came to the gloomy building where lived carletta's father. no--not _lived there_, for as they paused a moment out came two or three men bearing a pine coffin. in the coffin slept the old organ-grinder. "it was very sudden, sir," said a woman, who recognized his benefactor. "yesterday the little girl was took sick and it seemed as if he drooped right away. he died at six last night." the two men went silently up stairs. the room was empty of everything save a bed, a chair and a nurse provided by john harvey. the child lay there, not white, but pale as marble, with a strange polish on her brow. "well my little one, are you better?" "oh no, sir; father is gone up there and i am going." up _there_! john harvey turned unconsciously towards his friend. "did you ever hear of jesus?" asked john harvey's friend. "oh yes." "do you know who he was?" "_good jesus_," murmured the child. "hawkins, this breaks me down," said john harvey and he placed his handkerchief to his eyes. "don't cry, don't cry; i can't cry, i'm so glad," said the child exultingly. "what are you glad for, my dear?" asked john harvey's friend. "to get away from here," she said deliberately. "i used to be so cold in the winter, for we didn't have fire sometimes; but mother used to hug me close and sing about heaven. mother told me to never mind and kissed me and said if i was his, the savior would love me and one of these days would give me a better home, and so i gave myself to him, for i wanted a better home. and, oh, i shall sing there and be so happy!" with a little sigh she closed her eyes. "harvey, are faith and hope nothing?" asked mr. hawkins. "don't speak to me, hawkins; to be as that little child i would give all i have." "and to be like her you need give nothing--only your stubborn will, your skeptical doubts, and the heart that will never know rest till at the feet of christ." there was no answer. presently the hands moved, the arms were raised, the eyes opened--yet, glazed though they were they turned still upward. [illustration] "see!" she cried; "oh, there is mother! and angels! and they are all singing." her voice faltered, but the celestial brightness lingered yet on her face. "there is no doubting the soul-triumph there," whispered mr. hawkins. "it is wonderful," replied john harvey, looking on both with awe and tenderness. "is she gone?" he sprang from his chair as if he would detain her; but the chest and forehead were marble now, the eyes had lost the fire of life; she must have died as she lay looking at them. "she was always a sweet little thing," said the nurse softly. john harvey stood as if spell-bound. there was a touch on his arm; he started. "john," said his friend, with an affectionate look, "shall we pray?" [illustration] for a minute there was no answer--then came tears; the whole frame of the subdued skeptic shook as he said--it was almost a cry: "yes, pray, pray!" and from the side of the dead child went up agonizing pleadings to the throne of god. and that prayer was answered--the miracle was wrought-- the lion became a lamb--the doubter a believer--the skeptic a christian! --a tract. how three sunday school children met their fate [illustration: "the children saw their fate. they then knelt down and commenced to pray."] when the lawrence mills were on fire a number of years ago--i don't mean on fire, but when the mill fell in--the great mill fell in, and after it had fallen in, the ruins caught fire, there was only one room left entire, and in it were three mission sunday school children imprisoned. the neighbors and all hands got their shovels and picks and crowbars and were working to set the children free. it came on night and they had not yet reached the children. when they were near them, by some mischance the lantern broke, and the ruins caught fire. they tried to put it out, but could not succeed. they could talk with the children, and even pass to them some refreshments, and encourage them to keep up. but, alas, the flames drew nearer and nearer to the prison. superhuman were the efforts made to rescue the children; the men bravely fought back the flames; but the fire gained fresh strength, and returned to claim its victims. then piercing shrieks arose when the spectators saw that the efforts of the firemen were hopeless. the children saw their fate. they then knelt down and commenced to sing the little hymn we have all been taught in our sunday school days. oh! how sweet: "let others seek a home below, which flames devour and waves overflow." the flames had now reached them; the stifling smoke began to pour into their little room, and they began to sink, one by one, upon the floor. a few moments more and the fire circled around them, and their souls were taken into the bosom of christ. yes, let others seek a home below if they will, but seek ye the kingdom of god with all your hearts. --moody's anecdotes he blesses god for the faith of his little girl "i came home one night very late," says brother matthew hale smith (in his "marvels of prayer"), "and had gone to bed to seek needed rest. the friend with whom i boarded awoke me out of my first refreshing sleep, and informed me that a little girl wanted to see me. i turned over in bed and said: "'i am very tired, tell her to come in the morning and i will see her.' "my friend soon returned and said: "'i think you had better get up. the girl is a poor little suffering thing. she is thinly clad, is without bonnet or shoes. she has seated herself on the doorstep and says she must see you and will wait till you get up.' "i dressed myself and opening the outside door i saw one of the most forlorn-looking little girls i ever beheld. want, sorrow, suffering, neglect, seemed to struggle for the mastery. she looked up to my face and said: "'are you the man that preached last night and said that christ could save to the uttermost?' "'yes.' "'well, i was there, and i want you to come right down to my house and try to save my poor father.' "'what's the matter with your father?' "'he's a very good father when he don't drink. he's out of work and he drinks awfully. he's almost killed my poor mother; but if jesus can save to the uttermost, he can save him. and i want you to come right to our house now.' "i took my hat and followed my little guide who trotted on before, halting as she turned the corners to see that i was coming. oh, what a miserable den her home was! a low, dark, underground room, the floor all slush and mud--not a chair, table, or bed to be seen. a bitter cold night and not a spark of fire on the hob and the room not only cold but dark. in the corner on a little dirty straw lay a woman. her head was bound up, and she was moaning as if in agony. as we darkened the doorway a feeble voice said: 'oh, my child! my child! why have you brought a stranger into this horrible place?' her story was a sad one, but soon told. her husband, out of work, maddened with drink and made desperate, had stabbed her because she did not provide him with a supper that was not in the house. he was then upstairs and she was expecting every moment that he would come down and complete the bloody work he had begun. while the conversation was going on the fiend made his appearance. a fiend he looked. he brandished the knife, still wet with the blood of his wife. "the missionary, like the man among the tombs, had himself belonged to the desperate classes. he was converted at the mouth of a coal pit. he knew the disease and the remedy--knew how to handle a man on the borders of delirium tremens. "subdued by the tender tones, the mad man calmed down, and took a seat on a box. but the talk was interrupted by the little girl, who approached the missionary, and said: 'don't talk to father; it won't do any good. if talking would have saved him, he would have been saved long ago. mother has talked to him so much and so good. you must ask jesus, who saves to the uttermost, to save my poor father.' "rebuked by the faith of the little girl, the missionary and the miserable sinner knelt down together. he prayed as he never prayed before; he entreated and interceded, in tones so tender and fervent that it melted the desperate man, who cried for mercy. and mercy came. he bowed in penitence before the lord and lay down that night on his pallet of straw a pardoned soul. "relief came to that dwelling. the wife was lifted from her dirty couch, and her home was made comfortable. on sunday, the reformed man took the hand of his little girl and entered the infant class to learn something about the savior 'who saves to the uttermost.' he entered upon a new life. his reform was thorough. he found good employment, for when sober he was an excellent workman; and next to his savior, he blesses god for the faith of his little girl, who believed in a savior able to save to the uttermost all that come unto god by him." a wonderful children's meeting [illustration: she had not talked long until nearly every child in the room was in tears.] several years ago, when residing at g----, we became acquainted with sister w---- who was especially fond of children. her own were grown, and desiring to make a home for some homeless child, she went to the county farm, where there were several, in search of one. among the children there she found a beautiful, little, bright-eyed girl, about nine years old, named ida. her heart went out to her at once and she expressed to the lady in charge her desire to take ida, and her willingness to care for her as she would if she were her own child. but the matron said "oh, you have no idea what a terrible child she is! we can do nothing with her, she is stubborn and has an awful temper and it is impossible to control her. we are intending to send her to the girl's reform school." sister w---- who was an earnest christian, was surprised but not discouraged. she could not bear the thought of such a little child being sent to such a place and so she said to the matron: "well, i'd like to take her with me and see if i cannot help her to be good." "well," said the matron, "you can try her if you want to, but you will be glad to bring her back again." acting upon this permission, sister w---- talked with ida and easily gained her consent to go with her. not many days had passed before she found that there was considerable reason for what the matron had said. ida was hard to control and at times became terribly angry without cause; but sister w---- prayed for her and dealt patiently and tenderly with her and told her how jesus loved her, and would help her to be good if she would only give him her heart. her prayers and loving labor were not in vain and it was not very long until little ida was converted. the change was so great that all who were with her could plainly see that jesus had indeed given her a new heart. soon after this we had charge of a children's meeting held in a mission hall in g----. among the children gathered there were many of the worst boys in town. little ida was present. we knew how much jesus had done for her and felt led of the spirit to ask her to lead the meeting. she looked up at us much surprised but her little heart was full of the love of god and she consented to do the best she could. words cannot describe what followed. in tears, ida told, in her own touching way, how jesus had saved her--just what a naughty girl she had been before she was converted but how jesus had "taken the angry all away" and given her a new heart so that she loved everybody and loved to do what was right. then she pled with them to give their hearts to god, and told them how jesus died on the cross for them, and how he loved them and wanted to save them. she had not talked long until nearly every child in the room was in tears, and how shall we describe that touching scene? we had an altar service. ida knelt with those who were seeking and prayed for them and told them how to find jesus; and right there many were converted and gave bright, clear testimonies that their sins were forgiven and jesus had given them new hearts. thus did god that day honor a little girl's testimony and exhortation and fulfill his own work, "a little child shall lead them." very often do we call to mind that scene, and we find it one of the sweetest of the memories of years of evangelistic work. --editor. "they are not strangers, mama" not long ago i stood by the death-bed of a little girl. from her birth she had been afraid of death. every fiber of her body and soul recoiled from the thought of it, "don't let me die," she said; "don't let me die. hold me fast oh, i can't go!" "jennie" i said, "you have two little brothers in the other world, and there are thousands of tenderhearted people over there, who will love you and take care of you." but she cried out again despairingly: "don't let me go; they are strangers over there." she was a little country girl, strong limbed, fleet of foot, tanned in the face; she was raised on the frontier, the fields were her home. in vain we tried to reconcile her to the death that was inevitable. "hold me fast," she cried; "don't let me go." but even as she was pleading, her little hands relaxed their clinging hold from my waist, and lifted themselves eagerly aloft; lifted themselves with such straining effort, that they lifted the wasted little body from its reclining position among the pillows. her face was turned upward, but it was her eyes that told the story. they were filled with the light of divine recognition. they saw something plainly that we could not see; and they grew brighter and brighter, and her little hand quivered in eagerness to go, where strange portals had opened upon her astonished vision. but even in that supreme moment she did not forget to leave a word of comfort for those who would gladly have died in her place: "mama," she was saying, "mama, they are not strangers. i'm not afraid." and every instant the light burned more gloriously in her blue eyes till at last it seemed as if her soul leaped forth upon its radiant waves; and in that moment her trembling form relapsed among its pillows and she was gone. --_chicago woman's world_ jessie finding jesus a little girl in a wretched tenement in new york stood by her mother's death-bed, and heard her last words: "jessie, find jesus." when her mother was buried, her father took to drink, and jessie was left to such care as a poor neighbor could give her. one day she wandered off unnoticed, with a little basket in her hand, and tugged through one street after another, not knowing where she went. she had started out to find jesus. at last she stopped from utter weariness, in front of a saloon. a young man staggered out of the door, and almost stumbled over her. he uttered passionately the name of him whom she was seeking. "where is he?" she inquired eagerly. he looked at her in amazement. "what did you say?" he asked. "will you please tell me where jesus christ is? for i _must_ find him"--this time with great earnestness. the young man looked at her curiously for a minute without speaking, and then his face sobered; and he said in a broken, husky voice, hopelessly: "i don't know, child; i don't know where he is." [illustration] at length the little girl's wanderings brought her to the park. a woman evidently a jewess, was leaning against the railing, looking disconsolately at the green grass and the trees. jessie went up to her timidly. "perhaps she can tell me where he is," was the child's thought. in a low, hesitating voice, she asked the woman: "do you know jesus christ?" the jewess turned fiercely to face her questioner and in a tone of suppressed passion, exclaimed: "jesus christ is dead!" poor jessie trudged on, but soon a rude boy jostled against her, and snatching her basket from her hand, threw it into the street. [illustration] crying, she ran to pick it up. the horses of a passing street car trampled her under their feet--and she knew no more till she found herself stretched on a hospital bed. when the doctors came that night, they knew she could not live until morning. in the middle of the night, after she had been lying very still for a long time, apparently asleep, she suddenly opened her eyes and the nurse, bending over her, heard her whisper, while her face lighted up with a smile that had some of heaven's own gladness in it: "oh, jesus, i have found you at last!" then the tiny lips were hushed, but the questioning spirit had received an answer. --selected. "i'll never steal again--if father kills me for it" a friend of mine, seeking for objects of charity, got into the room of a tenement house. it was vacant. he saw a ladder pushed through the ceiling. thinking that perhaps some poor creature had crept up there, he climbed the ladder, drew himself up through the hole and found himself under the rafters. there was no light but that which came through a bull's-eye in the place of a tile. soon he saw a heap of chips and shavings, and on them a boy about ten years old. "boy, what are you doing there?" "hush! don't tell anybody--please, sir." "what are you doing here?" "don't tell anybody, sir; i'm hiding." "what are you hiding from?" "don't tell anybody, if you please, sir." "where's your mother?" "mother is dead." "where's your father?" "hush! don't tell him! don't tell him! but look here!" he turned himself on his face and through the rags of his jacket and shirt my friend saw the boy's flesh was bruised and the skin broken. [illustration] "why, boy, who beat you like that?" "father did, sir." "what did your father beat you like that for?" "father got drunk sir, and beat me 'cos i wouldn't steal." "did you ever steal?" "yes, sir, i was a street thief once." "and why don't you steal any more?" "please, sir, i went to the mission school, and they told me there of god and of heaven and of jesus and they taught me, 'thou shalt not steal,' and i'll never steal again, if father kills me for it. but, please sir, don't tell him." "my boy, you mast not stay here; you will die. now you wait patiently here for a little time; i'm going away to see a lady. we will get a better place for you than this." "thank you sir, but please, sir, would you like to hear me sing a little hymn?" bruised, battered, forlorn; friendless, motherless; hiding away from an infuriated father he had a little hymn to sing. "yes, i will hear you sing your little hymn." he raised himself on his elbow and then sang: "gentle jesus, meek and mild, look upon a little child; suffer me to come to thee. fain would i to thee be brought, gracious lord, forbid it not; in the kingdom of thy grace give a little child a place." "that's the little hymn, sir; goodbye." the gentleman went away, came back again in less than two hours and climbed the ladder. there were the chips and there was the little toy with one hand by his side and the other tucked in his bosom underneath the little ragged shirt--dead. -john b. gough. six months' record very tiny and pale the little girl looked as she stood before those three grave and dignified gentlemen. she had been ushered into brother gordon's study, where he was holding counsel with two of his deacons, and now, upon inquiry into the nature of her errand a little shyly she stated that she desired to be baptized. "you are quite too young to be baptized," said one of the deacons, "you had better run home, and let us talk to your mother." she showed no sign of running however, as her wistful blue eyes traveled from one face to another of the three gentlemen sitting in their comfortable chairs; she only drew a step nearer to brother gordon. he arose, and with gentle courtesy that ever marked him, placed her in a small chair close beside himself. "now, my child, tell me your name, and where you live." "winnie lewis sir, and i live on ---- street. i go to sunday school." "you do; and who is your teacher?" "miss ----. she is very good to me." "and you want to be baptized." the child's face glowed as she leaned eagerly toward him, clasping her hands, but all she said was, "yes, sir." "she cannot be more than six years old," said one of the deacons, disapp rovingly. brother gordon said nothing, but quietly regarded the small, earnest face, now becoming a little downcast. "i am nine years old; older than i look," she said. "it is unusual for anyone to be baptized so young," he said, thoughtfully, "we might pray for you though." [illustration] the brother did not seem to hear as he asked, "you know what being baptized means, winnie?" "yes sir"; and she answered a few questions that proved she comprehended the meaning of the step she wished to take. she had slipped off her chair, and now stood close to brother gordon's knee. "i want to obey all of god's word. you said last sunday, sir, that the lambs should be in the fold." "i did," he answered, with one of his own lovely smiles. "it is surely not for us to keep them out. go home now, my child. i will see about it." the cloud lifted from the child's face, and her expression, as she passed through the door he opened for her, was one of entire peace. the next week winnie's desire was granted. except for occasional information from miss ---- that she was doing well, brother gordon heard no more of her for six months. then he was summoned to her funeral. it was one of june's hottest days. as the minister made his way along the narrow street where winnie had lived, he wished for a moment that he had asked his assistant to come in his place; but as he neared the house, the crowd filled him with wonder; progress was hindered, and as perforce he paused for a moment, his eye fell on a crippled lad crying bitterly as he sat on a low door-step. "did you know winnie lewis, my lad?" he asked. "know her, is it sir? never a week passed but what she came twice or thrice with a picture or book, mayhaps an apple for me, an' it's owing to her an' no clargy at all that i'll ever follow her blessed footsteps to heaven. she'd read me from her own bible whenever she came, an' now she's gone there'll be none at all to help me, for mother's dead an' dad's drunk, an' the sunshine's gone from mike's sky intirely with winnie, sir." a burst of sobs choked the boy; brother gordon passed on, after promising him a visit very soon, and made his way through the crowd of tear-stained, sorrowful faces. the brother came to a stop on the narrow passageway of the little house. a woman stood beside him drying her fast falling tears while a wee child hid his face in her skirts and wept. "was winnie a relative of yours?" the brother asked. "no, sir; but the blessed child was at our house constantly, and when bob here was sick she nursed and tended him and her hymns quieted him when nothing else seemed to do it. it was just the same with all the neighbors. she took tracts to them all and has prayed with them ever since she was converted, which was three years ago, when she was but six years of age, sir. what she's been to us all no one but the lord will ever know and now she lies there." recognized at last, brother gordon was led to the room where the child lay at rest, looking almost younger than when he had seen her in his study six months before. an old bent woman was crying aloud by the coffin. "i never thought she'd go afore i did. she used regular to read an' sing to me every evening, an' it was her talk an' prayers that made a christian of me: you could a'most go to heaven on one of her prayers." "mother, mother come away," said a young man putting his arm around her to lead her back. "you'll see her again." "i know, i know: she said she'd wait for me at the gate," she sobbed as she followed him; "but i miss her sore now." "it's the old lady as mrs. lewis lived with sir," said a young lad standing next to brother gordon, as one and another still pressed up towards the little casket for a last look at the beloved face. "she was a unitarian, and she could not hold out against winnie's prayers and pleadings to love jesus, and she's been trusting in him now for quite awhile. a mighty good thing it is, too." "you are right, my lad," replied the minister. "do you trust him, too?" "winnie taught me, sir," the lad made answer, and sudden tears filled his eyes. [illustration: "mother, mother, come away." said a young man, putting his arm around her to lead her back. "you'll see her again."] a silence fell on those assembled, and, marveling at such testimony, brother gordon proceeded with the service feeling as if there was little more he could say of one whose deeds thus spoke for her. loving hands had laid flowers all around the child who had led them. one tiny lassie placed a dandelion in the small waxen fingers and now stood, abandoned to grief beside the still form that bore the impress of absolute purity. the service over, again and again was the coffin lid waved back by some one longing for another look, and they seemed as if they could not let her go. the next day a good-looking man came to brother gordon's house and was admitted into his study. "i am winnie's uncle, sir," he said simply. "she never rested till she made me promise to get saved, and i've come." "will you tell me about it, my friend?" said brother gordon. "well, you see, sir, it was this way. winnie always had been uncommonly fond of me; and so was i of her,"--his voice broke a little--"and i'd never been saved, never felt, as i believed, quite right. yet i knew her religion was true enough, and a half hour before she died she had the whole family with her, telling them she was going to jesus, and she took my hand between her little ones and said, 'uncle john, you will love jesus and meet me in heaven, won't you?' what could i do? it broke me all up, and i've come to ask you, sir; what to do so's to keep my promise to winnie, for she was an angel if there ever was one. why, sir, we were all sitting with her in the dark, and there was a light about that child as though it shone from heaven. we all noticed it, every one of us, and when she drew her last breath and left us, the radiance went, too; it was gone, quite gone." the man wept like a child, and for a minute brother gordon did not speak. within a month the uncle was thoroughly converted, baptized, and a sincere follower of christ. in the evening after this baptism, brother gordon sat reading in his study, thinking of his little child. "it is truly a wonderful record! would we had more like her. why do we not help the children to get saved, letting them feel that they are really one with us? we need their help fully as much as they need ours. 'take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for i say unto you, that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my father which is in heaven.'" --l. c. w. _copyright by b. wood_, . a child's faith johnny hall was a poor boy. his mother worked hard for their daily bread. "please give me something to eat, for i am very hungry," he said to her one evening. his mother let the work that she was sewing fall upon her knees, and drew johnny toward her. as she kissed him the tears fell fast on his face, while she said, "johnny, my dear, i have not a penny in the world. there is not a morsel of bread in the house, and i cannot give you any tonight." johnny did not cry when he heard this. he was only a little fellow but he had learned the lesson of trusting in god's promises. he had great faith in the sweet words of jesus when he said, "whatsoever ye shall ask the father in my name he will give it you." "never mind, mama; i shall soon be asleep, and then i shall not feel hungry. but you must sit here and sew, hungry and cold. poor mama!" he said, as he threw his arms around her neck and kissed her many times to comfort her. then he knelt down at his mother's knee to say his prayers after her. they said "our father," till they came to the petition, "give us this day our daily bread." the way in which his mother said these words made johnny's heart ache. he stopped and looked at her, and repeated with his eyes full of tears. "give us this day our daily bread." [illustration.] when they got through he looked at his mother and said, "now mother, do not be afraid. we shall never be hungry any more. god is our father. he has promised to hear us, and i am sure he will." then he went to bed. before midnight he woke up, while his mother was still at work, and asked if the bread had come yet. she said "no; but i am sure it will come." in the morning, before johnny was awake, a gentleman called who wanted his mother to come to his house and take charge of his two motherless children. she agreed to go. he left some money with her. she went out at once to buy some things for breakfast; and when johnny awoke, the bread was there, and all that he needed! johnny is now a man, but he has never wanted bread from that day; and whenever he was afraid since then, he has remembered god's promises, and trusted in him. --_lutheran herald_ triumphant death of a little child some years ago we knew a brother and sister g----, who told of the remarkable experience of their little girl, only seven years old, who had a short time ago gone home to heaven. the parents were devoted christians who had taught their children to love and honor god. during little ella's illness she manifested wonderful patience and told of her love for jesus. the morning she died she called her papa and mama to her side and said: "i have been in heaven all night. my room is full of angels and jesus is here. i'm going to heaven." then she asked them to promise to meet her there. as soon as they could control their feelings they made her the promise. then she kissed them and called for her little brother and sister and other friends. she talked with each one in turn, telling them in substance, the same she had told her papa and mama, asking each one to make her the same promise, and kissing each one good-bye. that was a touching scene. those who were there said it seemed more like heaven than earth to be in her presence. in the midst of many tears all promised her they would surely meet her in that bright and beautiful home to which she was going. just before she died she asked her mama to dress her in white and also to dress her doll in white and put it by her side in her coffin. then she folded her own little hands and closed her eyes and said, "jesus is calling me and i must go now. good-bye," and she was gone. little ella's death was glorious and she is not the only one that has left us such bright, joyous testimony. we have ourselves known of many children and older ones who had quite similar experiences. and though we may not all see, before we die, all that ella saw, if we love jesus and do what he asks us to, he will surely fulfill to each of us his promise: "i go to prepare a place for you. and if i go and prepare a place for you, i will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where i am, there you may be also." --editor [illustration: "i have been in heaven all night. my room is full of angels and jesus is here."] the child's prayer [illustration.] into her chamber went a little girl one day, and by a chair she knelt, and thus began to pray:-- "jesus, my eyes i close, thy form i cannot see; if thou art near me, lord, i pray thee to speak to me." a still, small voice she heard within her soul-- "what is it child? i hear thee; tell the whole." "i pray thee, lord," she said, "that thou wilt condescend to tarry in my heart and ever be my friend. "the path of life is dark, i would not go astray; oh, let me have thy hand to lead me in the way." "fear not; i will not leave thee, child, alone." she thought she felt a soft hand press her own. "they tell me, lord, that all the living pass away; the aged soon must die, and even children may. "oh, let my parents live till i a woman grow; for if they die, what can a little orphan do?" "fear not, my child; whatever ill may come i'll not forsake thee till i bring thee home." her little prayer was said, and from her chamber now she passed forth with the light of heaven upon her brow. "mother, i've seen the lord, his hand in mine i felt, and, oh, i heard him say, as by my chair i knelt-- "'fear not, my child; whatever ill may come i'll not forsake thee till i bring thee home.'" the cat came back jimmy was lying on an old cot out in the orchard, getting some of the nice spring sunshine on his thin body. there was an anxious frown on his face now, and every little while he would turn on his side, look through the orchard, and call "kittv kitty! kitty! annette, come, ann-ette." but annette did not come. his mother came and reminded him that annette was very old indeed, and it might be that she would never come again. "she was here yesterday, mother," he answered her, and the big tears came to his eyes "she felt perfectly fine then." "i know, but she's an old cat. she never strays away of her own accord, and certainlv no one would steal an old blind cat." later on during the day a man came walking up to their house. he introduced himself as the new neighbor who just moved across the little creek. he made inquiries as to where he could buy fresh vegetables and milk. and just as he was about to leave he remarked, "i did a strange thing early this morning. there was an old cat came over to my place. one ear was almost gone and it was blind. i'm not much of a hand to make way with things, but i felt so sorry for that poor old animal that i killed it." "oh!" with a strangled sob jimmy quickly left the room. his mother explained to the man it had been their old pet. he was very sorry, but of course that did not bring the cat back. "when i saw it, i just banged it over the head with a stick and then buried it. you will never know how badly i feel about it." when he was gone, mother went out to find jimmy and comfort him. he was out in the orchard on his knees. quietly she went up and knelt beside him, slipping her arm about his shoulder. he turned to her at once. "mother, there's something funny about annette. i've been praying and i feel all happy inside. it's just as if she wasn't dead at all!" "what would we ever do without our comforter, son?" she said. "he does help us bear our burdens in a wonderful way." "i'll say he does. this morning i felt so bad i didn't know what to do, and then when that man said--he had killed annette--i thought i just could not stand it. and here i am happy as anything again. and just because i took it all to jesus. i think annette is all right now." "she was very old, son. it wouldn't have been much longer anyway. why--why--jimmy!" but jimmy was running swiftly across the field toward an old blind cat that was staggering in his direction. apparently the new neighbor had only stunned the cat and she had dug her way out of the shallow hole and come home again. it was years before she really died, and long before she presented jimmy with a very tiny kitten with two whole ears and two very bright eyes. this story may sound strange to you, so perhaps i had better add that it is really true. --mary m. naylor. how god answered donald's prayer god often uses children to win grown folks for christ. little children not only have a deep faith but a childlike trust in believing that god answers their prayers. "all that ye ask in my name, _believing, that ye shall receive_." as a young girl, i went to sunday school and learned about jesus. although i knew about my savior and what he had done to save me, yet i never accepted him as _my own redeemer_ and friend. as years went by, i went into sin and shared in the common sins of worldly people. i knew better than to do the things i did, but sin is a miry clay pulling its victims down deeper and deeper. for ten years i never entered a church house except to attend my father's funeral. i saw him go into eternity without being able to point him to the "lamb of god which taketh away the sin of the world." during these years i had married and god had given us a dear little boy. donald began to attend sunday school early in years. often on sunday mornings he would get ready for sunday school after a sleepless night. wild parties were a part of the ungodly life we lived in our home. sometimes i took him to the church house door and there he would beg me to come in and meet the christian people who, he said, would be so glad to see me. donald learned much of the scriptures. he would pray and ask god's blessings at the table. in aug. we were living in minneapolis. one evening in particular i shall not forget. i was in an apartment below the one in which we lived, partaking in a drunken party. donald was then years old. he suffered over my sins and came to the door to call me. i promised him to come up soon, but i continued on for some hours with the drunken crowd. when i did come up to our apartment i found donald on his knees by his bed with his testament and an old hymn book of my mother-in-law's. the books were open on the bed. he looked up through his tears and said, "mother, i am praying for you." i looked at the testament and hymnal which were wet with tears that he had shed for his ungodly mother. on september th, following this experience i went to a mission. that night a group of christians united in asking god for my soul. when the song, "lord, i'm coming home," was sung after the service i made my way to the altar. while kneeling there i felt someone very close to my side. it was donald who was praying for his mother. god heard my prayer to be saved. he was merciful and washed away my sins. psalm has become precious to me. god saved me for service. i marvel at his grace and mercy toward me. i cannot cease to thank him for picking me up out of the miry clay. i am thankful also for my little boy who never ceased to pray for his mother. now, my life is in god's hands. i want to help others find the savior. i am especially burdened for others in the bondage of sin as i was. but even more than that, i am burdened for children who have no opportunity of knowing jesus as their personal savior. a narrative of some of the lord's dealings with george mÜller written by himself third part j. nisbet & co., berners street, london. preface to the first edition of the third part. the reasons which induced me to publish this third part of the lord�s dealings with me are the same which led me to the publication of the second part, and which are stated in the preface to the first edition of the second part. in addition to those reasons it appeared to me desirable to give some account of my recent labours in germany, and also to write on a few other points, which i considered of great importance to be made known. george mÜller. , paul street, kingsdown, bristol, june , . narrative, &c. &c. third part. in the deep consciousness of my entire natural inability for going through the work, which is before me, to the profit of the reader and to the glory of god, i am nevertheless of good cheer in beginning this service; for the lord has enabled me often to bow my knees before him, to seek his help respecting it; and i am now expecting his help. he delights in making his strength perfect in our weakness, and therefore will i also, though so weak, look for his strength. and if through this my feeble effort, to show forth the praises of the lord, good be done (of which i have the fullest assurance, on account of the abundance of supplication which for many months past has been found in my spirit in reference to this service,) i do desire from my inmost soul to ascribe all the honour and glory to the lord. i purpose in writing this third part of my narrative to adopt the same mode which i employed in the two former parts, namely that of giving extracts from my journal, and accompanying them with such remarks as it may be desirable to make for the profit of the reader. the second part carries on the narrative up to the end of the year , so far as it regards my own personal affairs; but only to dec. , , so far as it regards the orphan-houses, and other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, as on that day the accounts were closed. from this period, then, the narrative is continued. dec. , . when the accounts were closed last evening, the balance in hand was l. s. / d., but as nearly l. of this sum had been put by for the rent of the orphan-houses, the sum really in hand for use was only s. / d. with this little sum we commenced the sixth year of this part of the work, while there are daily, as usual, more than a hundred persons to be provided for. --a little boy brought half-a-crown to the boys�-orphan-house, this morning, which is the first gift in this sixth year. thus we had altogether s. / d. for this day, which was enough to pay for the milk in the three houses, and to buy some bread in one of them. we have never before been so poor at the commencement of the year. dec. . only s. d. more had come in since last evening. there was sufficient for dinner in the girls� and infant-orphan-houses, but scarcely enough in the boys�-orphan-house. this half-crown, therefore, supplied the remainder of the dinner in the boys�-orphan-house. but now there was no money to take in milk, in any of the houses, for tea, or to buy any bread. however the lord helped us through this day also. about one o�clock some trinkets, which had been sent a few days since, were disposed of for s., by which the usual quantity of milk, and a little bread could be taken in. [i observe here that there is generally bread for two or three days in the houses, the children eating the bread on the third day after it is baked. when, therefore, we are unable to take in the usual quantity, for want of means, we procure stale bread afterwards.] dec. . only s. had come in to meet this day�s necessities. thus we should not have had sufficient means to provide for the dinner in the girls�-orphan-house, had not s. come in this morning, just in time to help us through the difficulty. still we had no means to buy bread, and a few other little things which were needed. in addition to all this it was saturday, and therefore provisions for two days needed to be procured. about four o�clock this afternoon, one of the sisters in the orphan-houses, to whom i had some days since sent a little money for her own personal necessities, gave l. thus we were able to purchase sufficient provisions to last till breakfast on monday morning. these last days have been very trying. the poverty has been greater than ever; the lord, however, has not confounded us, but has, strengthened our faith, and always given us necessaries. the school-funds are also now again very low. there was only so much money in hand, as that two of the teachers, really in need, could be paid today. truly, my dear fellow-labourers in the schools need to trust the lord for their temporal supplies! [i notice here, that though the brethren and sisters have a certain remuneration, yet it is understood that, if the lord should not be pleased to send in the means at the time when their salary is due, i am not considered their debtor. should the lord be pleased to send in means afterwards, the remainder of the salary is paid up, and also additional assistance is given in time of sickness or more than usual need, as the lord may be pleased to grant the means. a brother or sister, in connection with this work, not looking for themselves to the lord, would be truly uncomfortable; for the position of all of us is of such a character, that it brings heavy trials of faith, in addition to the many precious seasons of joy on account of answers to prayer.] dec. . lord�s day. this morning i received l. s. thus, before the last provisions are actually consumed in the orphan-houses, i have been able to give fresh supplies. dec. . though l. s. had come in yesterday, there was still not sufficient this morning to buy coals in the boys� and girls�-orphan-houses. but the lord kindly supplied us with means for that also; for there were given today six silver tea spoons, and a pair of silver sugar tongs. i received also l. s. which yesterday had been anonymously given for rent. thus the lord, in this particular also, again begins the year with blessings. [as during the two previous years l. s. a week was anonymously given to pay for the rent of the three orphan-houses, so during the whole of this year also, from dec. , , to dec. , , the donor continued the same contribution.] this evening was the first of our public meetings, at which i gave the account of the lord�s dealings with us in regard to this work, during the last year. it was a good season. i felt much assisted by the lord, and was, through grace, very happy, so that none of those who were present can have read in my countenance that i have nothing at all in hand towards the supply of the necessities of tomorrow. after the meeting this evening / d. was left anonymously at my house. dec. . the day commenced with / d. in hand. my eyes were directed to the living god. i was looking out for help. the greatness of our need led me to expect it. about eleven o�clock i received from barnstaple a l. note and half-a-sovereign. thus the lord in his faithful love delivered us. half an hour afterwards i had the report from the orphan-houses about the state of things today, which will show how seasonably the money from barnstaple came. brother r. b., master at the boys�-orphan~ house, wrote that last evening a sister gave s. and a cloak, but that there never was less bread in the orphan-houses at any time than this morning, and that both in the boys� and infant-orphan-houses all bread had been, cut up for use.--we are now waiting on the lord for means to enable us to have the report printed. till he provides, we will, by his help, do nothing in this matter. though it seems to us important that the account of the lord�s dealings with us in the work should be made known to the saints generally; yea, though this is the primary object of the work; nevertheless it appears to us a small matter for our kind and loving father, who withholds nothing from his children that is really good for them, to give us the sum which we need for this purpose whenever his time shall have come. we do desire grace even in this thing to acknowledge him; for his time may not yet have come for us to have the sweet privilege of sending forth far and wide the account of his goodness to us during the past year. dec. . to-night i received with ecclesiastes ix. , l. s., and s. from another individual; also a spanish dollar was sent. thus we have something for the necessities of tomorrow. dec. . today came in s., and from bath l. s. d.; also l., the produce of the sale of ladies� baskets. dec. . only s. d. has come in since the day before yesterday. as i had to pay out today l. s., it being saturday, we have now again only s. d. left, which is just enough to meet the expense of a parcel, the arrival of which has been announced. thus we still have no means for printing the report, the lord�s time seems not yet to have come. this afternoon came in from exmouth l. s. d. for the other objects, so that, with what there was in hand, the teachers of the day-schools who were in need could be supplied. dec. . the lord has again sent in rich supplies. he remembered that there was nothing in hand for the orphans, and that we, who care for them, desire, through grace, not to be anxiously concerned about the morrow. there came in today altogether l. s. dec. . this morning there was l. given to me by a brother, to be used as most needed. as there is a little left for the orphans, but about l. needed, tomorrow, for the schools, and there are only a few shillings in hand, i took this money for these funds. jan. , . since dec. has come in not only as much as was needed, but more. of the donations which were given, i only notice: a sister brought the produce of her silver spoons, which she had sold, having had it laid on her heart to do so through the last public meetings. during this week we have daily met for prayer, for the especial purpose of asking the lord to give us the means of having the last year�s report printed. it is three weeks since it might have been sent to the press. we felt this now to be a matter of especial importance, as, if the report were not soon printed, it would be known that it arose from want of means. by the donations which came in during these last days for the orphans, and by l. which was given today for the other funds, we have the means of defraying the expenses of about two-thirds of the printing, and therefore a part of the manuscript was sent off, trusting that the lord would be pleased to send in more means before two sheets are printed off; but if not, we should then stop till we have more.--evening. there came in still further l.; and also s., and s. jan. . today s. came in, and the following articles were sent anonymously to the girls�-orphan-house: a smelling bottle, a metal chain and cross, a silver pencil case, a mother-of-pearl ring, a pebble, a necklace clasp, pairs of studs, and chimney ornaments. there were also sent anonymously, this evening, pairs of skates.--there was needed today l. s. d. more than there was in hand, to pay the salaries of the teachers in the day-schools. about noon a sister brought three small donations, amounting to s.; and a sovereign came by post. thus our need has been supplied. jan. . this morning a brooch was given to me, set with a brilliant and small emeralds. the stones are to be sold for the benefit of the orphans, and the gold is to be returned. i received also the following sums: from a sister in bristol, l.; from the east indies l.; from devonshire l. s. and a silver vinaigrette; anonymously put into the boxes at bethesda s., ditto by i. l. s. d., ditto for rent l. s.; and by sale of articles s. d. thus the lord has sent in today l. s., in answer to our united prayer during the last week. jan. . today the following trinkets were given, to be disposed of for the benefit of the orphans, or on behalf of the other objects. [they were taken for the latter, there being only about s. in hand.] two chains and crosses of soap beads, an amber necklace, a bead necklace, a gold maltese cross and chain, a brazilian gold chain, a pearl hair brooch, a pearl cross, a mother-of-pearl buckle, rings, a necklace snap, a moonstone brooch, a brooch of ceylon stones, a pair of bracelet snaps, a gold brooch, a gilt vinaigrette, a pair of buckles, and a box. [the money which was obtained for the greater part of these trinkets, supplied our need on saturday, january th.] jan. . monday. during the last week the lord not only supplied us richly with all we needed for the orphans, but enabled us to put by several pounds towards printing the report. on saturday evening there was only s. d. left. on this account i was looking out for answers to my prayers for means, and the lord did not disappoint me. there came in altogether yesterday l. s. d. we have now enough even for the last part of the report. thus the lord has been pleased to answer our prayers in this respect also. this afternoon when there was again only s. d. in hand, came in by sale of articles l. s. d., and by a donation l. jan. . today i have received a letter from a brother, in which he empowers me to draw upon his bankers, during this year to the amount of l., for any brethren who have it in their hearts to give themselves to missionary service in the east indies, and whom i shall consider called for this service, as far as i am able to judge. [this power lasted only for that year; but no brethren who seemed to be suitable offered themselves for this service] jan. . this evening i was called to the house of a brother and sister who are in the deepest distress. the brother had become surety for the debts of his son, not in the least expecting that he ever should be called upon for the payment of them; but as his son has not discharged his debts, the father has been called upon to do so; and except the money is paid within a few days, he will be imprisoned. how precious it is, even for this life, to act according to the word of god! this perfect revelation of his mind gives us directions for every thing, even the most minute affairs of this life. it commands us, "be thou not one of them that strike hands, or of them that are sureties for debts." prov. xxii. . the way in which satan ensnares persons, to bring them into the net, and to bring trouble upon them by becoming sureties, is, that he seeks to represent the matter as if there were no danger connected with that particular case, and that one might be sure one should never be called upon to pay the money; but the lord, the faithful friend, tells us in his own word that the only way in such a matter "to be sure" is "to hate suretiship." prov. xi. . the following points seem to me of solemn moment for consideration, if i were called upon to become surety for another: . what obliges the person who wishes me to become surety for him, to need a surety? is it really a good cause in which i am called upon to become surety? i do not remember ever to have met with a case in which in a plain, and godly, and in all respects scriptural matter such a thing occurred. there was generally some sin or other connected with it. . if i become surety, notwithstanding what the lord has said to me in his word, am i in such a position that no one will be injured by my being called upon to fulfill the engagements of the person for whom i am going to be surety? in most instances this alone ought to keep one from it. . if still i become surety, the amount of money, for which i become responsible, must be so in my power, that i am able to produce it whenever it is called for, in order that the name of the lord may not be dishonoured. . but if there be the possibility of having to fulfill the engagements of the person in whose stead i have to stand, is it the will of the lord, that i should spend my means in that way? is it not rather his will that my means should be spent in another way? . how can i get over the plain word of the lord, which is to the contrary, even if the first four points could be satisfactorily settled? this morning (jan. ) i had again not one penny in hand for the orphans, though there was enough for today at the orphan-houses, as i had sent yesterday sufficient for two days. the little stock being exhausted, i had been led to the lord in prayer for fresh supplies, when soon afterwards a brother called on me, who stated, that, in considering the necessities of the poor, on account of the cold season, the orphans had likewise been brought to his mind, and that he had brought me l. for them. this afternoon came in still further l. from two sisters, as a thank-offering for many mercies during the past year. likewise l. "from a friend in christ for the orphans�-house." further: by sale of articles l. s. d., by knitting l. s., by reports d., and by four donations s. thus the lord has been pleased to send in this day altogether l. s. d., whilst, when the day commenced, i had nothing at all in hand. jan. . this day commenced without any thing in hand. in addition to this it was saturday. about nine o�clock q. q. called to see me, but, as i was in prayer with my family, she did not stay. about half an hour afterwards she called a second time, gave l. for the orphans, and said, "i bring this because it is saturday, and it may be needed." this sister was not deterred by not seeing me the first time, because our father knew we had need of this money. there was likewise s. given me this afternoon, and when the sister gave it she said, "i bring this today, because it is saturday." jan. . l. s. d. came in yesterday and this morning. when the necessities of the day had been supplied, and there was only s. l d. left, i received a parcel from an unknown donor. it contained lb. and oz. of worsted and sovereigns, with the following note:--"�your father knoweth that ye have need of these things.� �all things whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.� an orphan sends l. for the orphans, and l. for mr. g. müller�s own necessities, jan. , ." feb. . today we had not sufficient money for our own personal necessities, when we were helped in the following way. some months ago several articles were sent to my dear wife from a distance of about miles, which she did not at all need, and which therefore had been placed in the hands of a sister to be disposed of. this was only now done, and today, in this our need, the money was brought for them, being l.. s. d. feb. . since jan. , there has come in l. s. d. for the orphans. this morning a brother from gloucestershire brought me a doubloon, ( / pennyweights of fine gold,) a spanish dollar, small spanish coins, old english crown pieces, old english half-crown pieces, old shillings, old sixpences, and an old twopenny piece. he told me that he had purposed to come a day sooner, but that, though he was quite prepared for his journey, his business did not allow him to leave home, but that immediately, when these coins were given to him for the orphans, he was able to leave. on his arrival in bristol, this brother was asked by a gentleman, a fellow passenger, to go with him; but he replied he must go at once to me. on mentioning my name, the gloucestershire brother was asked whether he did not believe that it was all chance work about the orphan-houses. he replied no, and showed him the handful of gold and silver coins, which he had received for the orphan-houses, and which he felt himself constrained at once to deliver.--there was also given this day a valuable gold lever watch.--though these donations of today were not needed to supply the necessities of the children, yet they came very seasonably, and as the answer to many prayers which i had lately offered up to the lord, to enable me to give l. to the labourers in the orphan-houses, for their own personal necessities. feb. . at the close of this week there is nothing at all in hand, either in the orphan-fund or in the other funds; but the lord has enabled me to meet all the expences of the week, which only yesterday and today were above l. feb. . in answer to prayer, when we were without any money for the orphans, came in today altogether l. s. feb. . there came in yesterday and the day before several small donations; also by post, anonymously, a sovereign and a diamond ring from leamington; but we are now again without means. may the lord help us! --evening. there came in by sale of articles s., by sale of reports s., and by a donation s. d. i also opened the box in my house, in which i found l. s. d. a sovereign had been put in by a brother from stafford, who had already left my house, but felt himself constrained to return, in order to put in this money. feb. . last evening there was left at my house, anonymously, a letter containing two sovereigns, in which was written, "for the orphan-house l." this l. is exactly what is needed for today. feb. . saturday morning. the lord sent in yesterday l. s. which, though not enough for this day, was a little to commence with. evening. scarcely had i sent off this morning the l. s. to the orphan-houses, when i received from clapham l. s. d. and yds. of calico, for the orphans, so that l. more, which was needed to meet this day�s demands, could be supplied. there came in also s. d. we are very poor in reference to the funds for the other objects, and have now determined to meet daily for prayer, till the lord may be pleased to send help. there are now four sisters in the lord staying at our house. this morning we had only s. left of our own money, when there was sent to us for ourselves from clapham a sovereign and lbs. of tea; and from manchester shillings� worth of postages. thus the lord has kindly helped us for the present. feb. . the lord has had pity, and helped us in some measure. a brother gave me l. for the first four objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. feb. . since the th there has come in still further for the first four objects s. d., s. d., s. d., l., and l., besides what has come in by the sale of bibles, etc. thus we have been able to meet all the expenses of this week. march . from february up to this day our necessities in the day schools were supplied by thirteen small donations, and by a donation of l. from q. q. today i received the following letter "dear brother, i yesterday happened to meet with one of your reports of the orphan institution for the last year, which i have read with much interest. i was not before at all aware how entirely you subsisted day by day on the good providence of the lord, and it is very wonderful to see his constant care of such of his children as walk uprightly, and put their trust in him. it must be very blessed thus to know and feel his care from day to day, in making bread and water sure. i am concerned to find that there was so much need at the time i saw you in and that i did not assist you; but i will delay no longer, for there may be equal need now; and as i find many sums given with the text ecclesiastes ix. , it reminds me, not to put off till tomorrow that which should be done today. just before i fell in with your report, i got a little portable money out of the bank, thinking it might be needed in some such way, so without delay i enclose it; the amount is l., and i hope that the lord will direct my mind and incline my heart to help you again at the time of need. i perceive you have a list with the sums received, and the names of the donors open for inspection (though not published, which is well). please to insert my donation, and any future ones i may give, under the initials a. b." when this letter arrived, there was not one penny in hand for the day schools, whilst two days after about l. was needed. as the money was not given for any particular part of the work, it was put to this fund. there was also only l. in the orphan fund. this money came from a considerable distance, and from a brother who never had assisted in this work before, whereby the lord afresh shows how easily he can raise up new helpers. march . from feb. to this day we have had comparative abundance for the orphans, as donations of l. and under have come in, also many pounds by sale of articles and reports; but now, when we had again only s. d. in hand, not half of what is needed to meet the necessities of tomorrow, a sister at plymouth sent l. march . there came in still further today l. from "friends to the orphan," besides s. d., s. d., s., and s. d. march . today i heard of the conversion of a gentleman, whose believing wife had prayed many years on behalf of her husband. he was a roman catholic and a great drunkard. but though he had been a roman catholic, he was truly made to rest upon the lord jesus alone for salvation; though he had been a great drunkard, the power of the gospel was seen in his case, for he forsook his evil ways; and though his wife had had to continue to pray for him many years, yet at last the lord answered the cries of his afflicted handmaid, and gave her the desire of her heart. as i know it to be a fact, that many children of god are greatly tried by having unconverted relatives, i relate here, for the encouragement of believers who are thus exercised, two precious facts, the truth of which i know, and by which the lord manifested his power in converting, two of the most unlikely individuals, so far as natural appearance is concerned. between forty and fifty years ago it pleased the lord to convert the wife of a farmer at ashburton in devonshire, whose husband in consequence became her bitter opposer. this opposition was greatly increased when he had reason to believe that she was going to be baptized. the wife, however, thought that, on account of his great enmity, she would choose a time for being baptized when he was from home. a time was therefore chosen when he was to be absent at a fair in exeter. the farmer went to the fair; but having learned on thursday that his wife was to be baptized at eleven o�clock the next morning, in haste to return he rose early on friday morning, to put a stop to the proceeding. after he had rode several miles, he said to himself, "no, i will not go; let her do what she pleases, i will not care about her at all:" and he therefore rode back again towards exeter. but after awhile he altered his mind again and said to himself, "nay, i will go, she shall not have her way;" and he rode again towards ashburton. he pursued his way, and then changed his mind a third time, and turned towards exeter; but not long after this, a fourth time he had different thoughts, and determined to ride borne. now, however, he remembered, that, on account of his having thus gone backwards and forwards, and that for several miles, he had wasted so much time, that he could not possibly be at ashburton by eleven o�clock, a distance of more than twenty miles from exeter. enraged by this thought, he dismounted from his horse on haldon common, between exeter and teignmouth, cut a large stick out of the hedge and determined to beat his wife with that stick, as long as a part of it remained. at last he reached his home, late in the afternoon, and found his wife had been baptized. in a great rage he now began to beat her, and continued to do so, till the stick in his hand was actually broken to pieces. having thus most cruelly treated her, her body being full of bruises, he ordered her to bed. she meekly began to undress herself, and intended to go to bed, without saying a word. but when he saw her about to go, he said, "you shall not sleep in my bed any more. go to the children�s bed." she obeyed. when now on the point of lying down on the children�s bed, he ran into the kitchen, fetched a piece of wood, threw her down on the bed, and was about to begin again to beat her, when suddenly he let the piece of wood fall, and went away without saying a word. the poor suffering wife saw no more of him that evening or night. on the next morning, saturday, before she had risen, her husband left the house, and was absent all day till the evening. in the evening the wife gave him to understand when retiring for the night, that, according to his wish, she was again going to sleep in the children�s bed, when he meekly said to her, "will you not sleep in your own bed?" she thought he meant to mock her, and would beat her again, if she did go into her own bed. as, however, he continued in a meek and kind way to desire her to lie down in her usual bed, she did so. all night from saturday to the lord�s day he lay groaning by her side, turning about in the bed, but having no sleep. on the lord�s day morning he rose early. after awhile he came to her and said, "my dear, it is time to get up: if you will get up and make the breakfast, i will go with you to the meeting." still the wife thought, he only meant to mock her, and that perhaps he would beat her again, when she was on the point of going to the meeting. nevertheless she rose, prepared the breakfast, and at last, as he continued meek and kind as before, she made herself ready to go to the meeting. how great was the astonishment and surprise of the people in the small town, where the thing had become known almost to every one, when arm in arm he walked with his wife to the meeting and entered it himself, which he had never done before! after the meeting was over, he related before all persons present, what had passed in his mind between exeter and ashburton, how he had most cruelly beaten his wife, how he had ordered her to go to the children�s bed, how he had run into the kitchen to fetch a piece of wood to beat his wife a second time, how he had thrown her on the bed for that purpose, and how he had already lifted up his hand with the piece of wood in it, when there was like an audible voice saying to him: "why persecutest thou me!" the piece of wood had then fallen out of his hand, and he had felt instantly that he was persecuting the lord jesus. from that moment his soul had become most distressed. he had been sleepless and miserable during the night from friday to saturday. on saturday morning he had left the house early in the greatest agonies of soul, and had been roving about in the fields and neighbouring villages all the day. he had come home, and spent another sleepless night from saturday to the lord�s day. and then passed what has been related. from this time this persecutor became a disciple of the lord jesus. he found peace through the blood of the lord jesus, by faith in his name, and walked about thirty years in peace and love with his wife, and adorned the gospel of the grace of god. his wife outlived him. the husband died more than thirteen years ago. the aged sister told all the particulars of the case to a brother in the lord, out of whose mouth i heard them; and i have related them faithfully to the best of my knowledge. surely the arm of the lord is not shortened in our days! in a moment he may turn the heart of the greatest persecutor. think on paul, think on manasseh! the other case of a remarkable conversion, which i am about to relate for the encouragement of the believing reader, occurred in my native country, the kingdom of prussia, about the year . i relate it as circumstantially as it was brought before me by a brother in the lord. baron von k. had been for many years a disciple of the lord jesus. even about the commencement of this century, when there was almost universal darkness or even open infidelity spread over the whole continent of europe, he knew the lord jesus; and when about the year , there was the greatest distress in silesia among many thousands of weavers, this blessed man of god took the following gracious step for his lord and master. as the weavers had no employment, the whole continent almost being in an unsettled state on account of napoleon�s career, it seemed to him the will of the lord, that he should use his very considerable property to furnish these poor weavers with work, in order to save them from the greatest state of destitution, though in doing this there was not only no prospect of gain, but the certain prospect of immense loss. he therefore found employment for about six thousand weavers. but he was not content with this. whilst he gave the bread which perishes, he also sought to minister to the souls of these weavers. to that end he sought to set believers as overseers over this immense weaving concern, and not only saw to it that the weavers were instructed in spiritual things, but he himself also set the truth before them. thus it went on for a good while, till at last, on account of the loss of the chief part of his property, he was obliged to think about giving it up. but by this time this precious act of mercy had so commended itself to the government, that it was taken up by them, and carried on till the times altered. baron von k. was, however, appointed director of the whole concern as long as it existed.--this dear man of god was not content with this. he travelled through many countries to visit the prisons, for the sake of improving the temporal and spiritual condition of the prisoners, and among all the other things which he sought to do for the lord, was this also in particular: he assisted poor students whilst at the university of berlin, (especially those who studied theology, as it is called,) in order to get access to them, and to win them for the lord. one day a most talented young man, whose father lived at breslau, where there is likewise a university, heard of the aged baron�s kindness to students, and he therefore wrote to him, requesting him to assist him, as his own father could not well afford to support him any longer, having other children to provide for. a short time afterwards young t. received a most kind reply from the baron, inviting him to come to berlin; but, before this letter arrived, the young student had heard that baron von k. was a pietist or mystic (as true believers are contemptuously called in germany;) and as young was of a highly philosophical turn of mind, reasoning about every thing, questioning the truth of revelation, yea questioning most sceptically the existence of god, he much disliked the prospect of going to the old baron. still, he thought he could but try, and if he did not like it, he was not bound to remain in connexion with him. he arrived in berlin on a day when there was a great review of the troops; and being full of this he began to speak about it to the steward of the baron. the steward, however, being a believer, turned the conversation, before the young student was aware of it, to spiritual things; and yet he could not say that it had been forced. he began another subject, and a third, but still it always came presently again to spiritual things. at last the baron came, who received young t. in the most affectionate and familiar manner, as if he had been his equal, and as if young t. bestowed a favour on him, rather than that he was favoured by the baron. the baron offered him a room in his own house, and a place at his own table, while he should be studying in berlin, which young t. accepted. he now sought in every way to treat the young student in the most kind and affectionate way, and as much as possible to serve him, and to show him the power of the gospel in his own life, without arguing with him, yea without speaking to him directly about his soul. for, discovering in young t. a most reasoning and sceptical mind, he avoided in every possible way getting into any argument with him, while the young student again and again said to himself: "i wish i could get into an argument with this old fool, i would show him his folly." but the baron avoided it. when the young student used to come home in the evening, and the baron heard him come, he would himself go to meet him on entering the house, would light his candle, would assist and serve him in any way he could, even to the fetching the bootjack for him, and helping him to take off his boots. thus this lowly aged disciple went on for some time, whilst the young student still sought an opportunity for arguing with him, but wondered nevertheless how the baron could thus serve him. one evening, on the return of young t. to the baron�s house, when the baron was making himself his servant as usual, he could refrain himself no longer, but burst out thus: "baron, how can you do all this! you see i do not care about you, and how are you able to continue to be so kind to me, and thus to serve me!" the baron replied: "my dear young friend, i have learned it from the lord jesus. i wish you would read through the gospel of john. good night." the student now for the first time in his life sat down and read the word of god in a disposition of mind to be willing to learn, whilst up to that time he had never read the holy scriptures but with the view of wishing to find out arguments against them. it pleased god to bless him. from that time he became himself a follower of the lord jesus, and has been so ever since. i continue now the extracts from my journal. march , . it is twelve years this day since i arrived in england. how exceedingly kind and gracious has the lord been to me day by day ever since! and the lord has crowned this day also with mercies. i have been for some time again very weak in body, on account of which it appeared to me desirable to change my sphere of labour for awhile, to which i was the more inclined as i purpose to write the second part of my narrative, for which i need more time than i can well find in bristol, along with my other engagements. today i had fully determined to leave, as i am now exceedingly weak; but we had no means for it. this morning, after the exposition of the scriptures to the orphan and day school children, there was given to me a check for l., of which l. is for brother craik, l. for myself, and l. for the orphans, thus my way, even as to means, is made quite plain. march . nailsworth. i had purposed to take lodgings in the neighbourhood of tetbury, passing only a night or so at nailsworth. when i came here today, and heard about the state of the saints here and in the neighbourhood, i could not but think that the lord had sent me to this place to labour for a season. march . i ministered twice today among the brethren at nailsworth, with much assistance from the lord, and feel already much better from the change of air. march . truly god has sent me here! certain matters which have been brought to light through my being here, prove it. may the lord make it still more abundantly plain that he has sent me here!--there is a small house, which a brother left a few weeks since, but has to pay rent for at least three months longer. he will let me have it rent free, and he and brother--mean to put into it the needful furniture.--thus the lord has provided a lodging, not only for me, but also for all my family, who can now join me here. a sister in the lord in ireland, who did not see her acceptance before god, and who was habitually without the assurance that she is a child of god, that she is born again, that her sins are forgiven, and that she shall be saved, in her distress of mind wrote to me about this time. as her case is by no means a solitary one, but as there are so many children of god who do not know that they are children of god; as there are so many whose sins are forgiven who do not know that they are forgiven; and as there are so many who will be saved, who do not know that they will be saved, and who are continually afraid of what would become of them, were they to be taken out of the world:--i have thought it well to say something here on this most important subject. i. question. how may i obtain the knowledge that i am a child of god, or that i am born again, or that my sins are forgiven, or that i shall not perish but have everlasting life? answer. not by my feelings, not by a dream, not by my experience being like this or that one�s, or unlike this or that one�s; but this matter is to be settled, as all other spiritual matters, entirely by the revealed will of god, the written word of god, which is the only rule, the only standard for believers. ii. question. by what passages, then, for instance, may i make out that i am a child of god, or born again? answer. . in john v. , it is written: "whosoever believeth that jesus is the christ is born of god." the meaning of these words is evidently this, that every one (whether young or old, male or female, one who has lived an outwardly moral or immoral life,) who believes that the poor, despised jesus of nazareth, of whom we read in the new testament, was the promised christ or messiah, such a one is no longer in his natural state, but is born again, is born of god, is a child of god. the question therefore is, do you believe that jesus, who was born at bethlehem, and crucified under pontius pilate, is the promised saviour, the messiah, the one for whom the jews were to look? if so, you are a child of god, else you would not believe it. it is given unto you to believe it. millions may say that jesus is the saviour, the messiah, but none believe it except the children of god. it proves me to be a child of god that i believe it; to none besides is it given to believe it, though millions might say so. perhaps you say, i do not feel that i am born again, born of god, and i have therefore no enjoyment. answer. in order that you may have the enjoyment, which is the result of the knowledge that you are a child of god, that you are born of god, or born again, you must receive god�s testimony. he is a faithful witness, he speaks nothing but the truth, and his declaration is, that every one who believes that jesus is the christ is born of god. if you receive this testimony of god, you, to whom by grace it is given to believe that jesus is the christ, cannot but be happy, from the fact that god himself says, that you are his child. but if you will wait till you feel that you are a child of god, you may have to wait long; and even if you felt it, yet your feelings would be worth nothing; for either it might be a false feeling, or, though it were real, it might be lost the next hour. feelings change; but the word of god remains unalterably the same. you have, then, without having had a dream about it, without having had a portion of the word in a more than usual way impressed upon your mind concerning the subject, without having heard something like a voice from heaven about it, to say to yourself: if i believe that jesus is the promised messiah, i am a child of god. and then, from a belief of what god declares in this passage concerning you who believe that jesus is the christ, even that you are his child, spring peace and joy in the holy ghost. answer . in galatians iii. , it is written: "ye are all the children of god by faith in christ jesus." the question here again is: do i believe in the lord jesus? do i depend upon him alone for the salvation of my soul? if so, i am a child of god, whether i feel it or not. answer . in john i. � , it is written of the lord jesus: "he came unto his own, and his own received him not. but as many as received him, to them gave he power (or the right or the privilege) to become the sons of god, even to them that believe on his name: which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of god." the question here again is simply this, have i received the lord jesus, i.e., do i believe in his name? if so, i am born of god, i am a child of god, else i should never have believed in the lord jesus; for none but the children of god do believe in him. iii. question. how may i know that my sins are forgiven? have i to wait till i feel that they are forgiven, before i may take comfort concerning this matter? or, must i wait till i have in some powerful way a portion of the word of god applied to my mind, to assure me of it? answer. this point is again only to be settled by the word of god. we have not to wait till we feel that our sins are forgiven.--i myself have now been a believer for more than nineteen years (i.e. in the year ). how long it is, since i have had no doubt whatever about the forgiveness of my sins, i cannot tell with certainty; but this i am quite sure of, that ever since i have been in england, which is now about sixteen years (in ), i have never once had a single moment�s doubt that my sins are all forgiven; and yet i do not remember that i even once have felt that they were forgiven. to know that they are forgiven, and to feel that they are forgiven, are two different things.--the way to settle, whether our sins are forgiven, is, to refer to the word of god alone with reference to it. in acts x. , it is written concerning the lord jesus, "to him give all the prophets witness, that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins." all the prophets speaking under the immediate power of the holy spirit, bore testimony, that through the obedience and sufferings of the lord jesus, whereby he becomes our saviour or is our jesus, all who believe in him for salvation, who depend upon him and not upon themselves, who receive him to be the one whom god declares him to be, should receive the forgiveness of their sins. the questions therefore to be put to ourselves are simply these: do i walk in utter carelessness? do i trust in my own exertions for salvation? do i expect forgiveness for my sins on account of living a better life in future? or, do i depend only upon this, that jesus died upon the cross to save sinners--and that jesus fulfilled the law of god to make sinners righteous? if the latter is the case, my sins are forgiven, whether i feel it or not. i have already forgiveness. i shall not have it merely when i die, or when the lord jesus comes again; but i have it now, and that for all my sins. i must not wait to feel that my sins are forgiven, in order to be at peace, and in order to be happy; but i must take god at his word, i must believe that what he says in true, and he says, "that whosoever believeth in the lord jesus should receive remission of sins;" and when i believe what god says, peace and joy will be the result. again, in acts xv. , , it is written with reference to us gentile sinners: "and god which knoweth the hearts, bare them witness, giving them the holy ghost, even as he did unto us; and put no difference between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith." here we see how the guilt is to be removed from the heart, how we can get a clean heart, obtain the forgiveness of our sins,--even by faith in the lord jesus. depending upon the sufferings of the lord jesus in the room of sinners, and depending upon his obedience in fulfilling the law of god, his sufferings are considered as endured by us, his obedience as if found in ourselves: in him (if we believe on him) we are considered to have hung on the cross, and therefore were punished in him, on account of which god, though perfectly holy and just, can forgive us our sins for jesus� sake, as well as reckon us righteous, through faith in the lord jesus, who in the room of those who believe on him fulfilled the law of god. i would here by the way especially warn against one error, which is, that persons say, i can believe that jesus is the christ, the saviour, that through him alone the forgiveness of sins is to be obtained, and i do depend on him alone for forgiveness, but i desire to know that he is my christ, my saviour, and because i am not sure about that, i can have no peace. now, the gospel which is preached in the new testament is not, you must believe that jesus of nazareth is your christ, your saviour, but that he is the christ, the saviour; and if you believe that, you have a right to look upon him as your saviour. iv. question. how may i know that i shall be saved? answer. "if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the lord jesus, and shalt believe in thy heart that god hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." rom. x. . the point is simply this: do i confess with my mouth the lord jesus? do i own him by the confession of my mouth before men, and do i believe in my heart that jesus of nazareth who was crucified was not left in the grave, but was raised again by god on the third day? if so, i shall be saved. for while there may be the confession of the lord jesus with the month, without the person being finally saved, there does not go along with this the believing in the heart that god has raised him from the dead, without the person, in whom both are found, being finally saved; for in none but the children of god are these two points found united together. we have here particularly to observe, that it is not written: if thou shalt say that god has raised him from the dead; but if thou shalt believe in thine heart that god has raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. i have, then, to take god at his word. if i do confess the lord jesus with my mouth, and do believe in my heart that god has raised him from the dead, i shall be saved, though i do not feel it, though i am utterly unworthy of salvation, yea, though i am altogether deserving condemnation. i must not wait till i feel that i shall be saved before i take comfort; but i must believe what god says in this verse, and, out of that, peace and comfort will flow into my soul. should, however, one or the other of the children of god, believe in his heart the resurrection of the lord jesus, if at the same time he has never made confession of the lord jesus with his mouth, he cannot be surprised that the assurance about his salvation is wanting to him; yet if both be found in you, my dear reader, god has been gracious to you, you are his child, you shall be saved. further, in john iii. , it is written: "god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." notice here in particular: . it matters not how great a sinner i am. . the promise is positive concerning my salvation, if i believe in the lord jesus. . i have only to believe in the lord jesus. no matter how it may have been with me hitherto; if only now i trust in and depend upon the lord jesus for salvation, i shall have everlasting life. further, in acts xvi. , , it is written: "sirs, what must i do to be saved? and they said, believe on the lord jesus christ, and thou shalt be saved." further, in john iii. , it is written: "he that believeth on the son hath everlasting life; and he that believeth not the son shall not see life; but the wrath of god abideth on him." as assuredly as i depend upon and trust in the lord jesus for the salvation of my soul, i shall be saved, i have already everlasting life; for he died, to deliver those who believe on him from the wrath of god, under which all men are in their natural state; but if i do not believe in the lord jesus, the wrath of god, which rests upon all men in their natural state, will finally destroy me, if i remain without faith in the lord jesus; for then i reject the one only remedy, in refusing to take jesus as my substitute, who bore the punishment that he might deliver the sinner from it, and who fulfilled the law of god that he might make the sinner who believes on him a just one before god. v. question. how may i know that i am one of the elect? i often read in the scriptures about election, and i often hear about election, how may i know that i am a chosen one, that i am predestinated to be conformed to the image of the son of god? answer. it is written: "as many as were ordained, (i.e. appointed) to eternal life believed." acts xiii. . the question therefore simply is this: do i believe in the lord jesus? do i take him to be the one whom god declares him to be, i. e. his beloved son in whom he is well pleased? if so, i am a believer, and i should never have believed, except i had been appointed by god to eternal life--except i had been made by god to be a vessel of mercy. therefore the matter is a very simple one: if i believe in the lord jesus, i am a chosen one,--i have been appointed to eternal life. again, in rom. viii. , , it is written: "for whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his son, that he might be the first-born among many brethren. moreover, whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified; and whom he justified, them he also glorified." how are we justified, or constituted just ones, before god? by faith in the lord jesus. rom. iii. � . therefore if i believe in the lord jesus, it follows (on account of the inseparable connection of all the precious things spoken of in these two verses), that i have been foreknown by god, that i have been predestinated by him to be conformed to the image of his son, that i have been called, that i have been justified, and that, in the sight of god, i am already as good as glorified, though i am not as yet in the actual possession and enjoyment of the glory. the reason why persons who renounce confidence in their own goodness for salvation, and who only trust in the merits and sufferings of the lord jesus, do not know that they are the children of god, that their sins are forgiven, and that they shall be saved, generally arises from one of these things: . they do not know the simplicity of the gospel; or, . they seek to settle it by their feeling; or, . they wait for some powerful impulse, or a dream, or something like a voice from heaven to assure them of it, or for some passage being in a powerful way applied to their mind to assure them of it; or, . because they are living in sin. should the last be the case, then, however correctly we may understand the gospel; however much we may desire by the holy scriptures alone to settle these questions; yea, however much in former times we may have enjoyed the assurance of the forgiveness of our sins, or of our being the children of god, or that we shall be saved: in such a state of heart all peace would be gone, and would not return as long as we live in sin. there may be found much weakness and many infirmities even in the believer who has assurance about these points; but the holy ghost does not comfort us, and will not comfort us, if we habitually indulge in those things which we know to be contrary to the mind of god. an upright, honest heart, is of the utmost importance in all divine things; and especially with reference to the assurance about our standing before god. april . from march th up to this day we had always a little money in hand for the orphans, so that there was comparatively no trial of faith. of the many donations which came in during this period i only mention two, as rather deserving to be noticed, to show what various ways the lord uses to send us supplies. on march th i received from the neighbourhood of london l., respecting which the brother who sent it writes, that he was in the habit of giving this sum to his wife, a sister, on her birth days, to lay it out in buying any little thing she liked, and that she this time preferred giving it to the orphans. on april rd a sister gave l., which came in most seasonably. she had lost a sum of money, which was afterwards found again, and she felt constrained to give l. of it to the orphans. now today, april , when all was again spent, l. came in from wales. on friday, april , while i was at nailsworth, in gloucestershire, i received the following letter from brother r. b., master at the boys�-orphan-house: "my dear brother, "when i wrote last, on tuesday evening, there was not one penny in hand. but since then the lord has most graciously dealt with us. only s. d. came in on wednesday morning; but as there were enough provisions in the house for the day, the sisters experienced no difficulty: it was only necessary to refuse to take in what there was not money to pay for. about six i went out for a walk with the boys, and returned after eight, when i found a letter in which was enclosed l., with these words; "from the lord, for the present necessities of the orphans." it was indeed for the present necessities. etc. "your brother, r. b." this letter came after a previous one, in which brother r. b. informed me about the need in the orphan-houses, which led me to prayer. when this letter came from brother b., i received at the same time another from birmingham, in which was enclosed l., from a brother, who had sold some of his books. it was from a most unexpected quarter, as that brother is himself, as a servant of the lord, depending upon him for temporal supplies. the same post brought me also information of l. s, d., having been sent from dublin. the sister in ireland writes that she sends the money now, as we may be in want of even so small a sum. with regard to the above-mentioned l., i mention still further that i know from the handwriting who the donor is; and it is remarkable that he had not given or sent the money to me, as he not only knew i was not in bristol at the time, but that i was in the neighbourhood where he lives. but this was not only of the lord�s ordering, but it was a direct answer to prayer; for knowing the need at the orphan-houses, i had been especially led to ask the lord not to allow the money to be first sent to me in letters or parcels, but to cause it to be directly sent to brother b. how truly precious it is that every one, who rests alone upon the lord jesus for salvation, has in the living god a father, to whom he may fully unbosom himself concerning the most minute affairs of his life, and concerning every thing that lies upon his heart! dear reader, do you know the living god? is he, in jesus, your father? be assured that christianity is something more than forms and creeds, and ceremonies: there is life, and power, and reality, in our holy faith. if you never yet have known this, then come and taste for yourself. i beseech you affectionately to meditate and pray over the following verses: john iii. , rom. x. , , acts x. , i john v. . may . a sister who lives near lutterworth sent me yesterday l., which was given for the orphans by a friend of hers. this l. supplies our need today, it being saturday, for there was only l. in hand when this money came. from march th, to may th, i spent at nailsworth, where i prepared the second part of my narrative for the press, and laboured in the word. these seven weeks were on the whole, by the help of god, profitably spent in the service of the lord, and to the benefit of my own soul. there was much love shown to me and my family by the dear saints among whom i was labouring, and i know that my service among them has not been in vain. today, may , i returned with my family to bristol. while i was staying at nailsworth, it pleased the lord to teach me a truth, irrespective of human instrumentality, as far as i know, the benefit of which i have not lost, though now, while preparing the eighth edition for the press, more than forty years have since passed away. the point is this; i saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which i ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the lord. the first thing to be concerned about was not, how much i might serve the lord, how i might glorify the lord; but how i might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished. for i might seek to set the truth before the unconverted, i might seek to benefit believers, i might seek to relieve the distressed, i might in other ways seek to behave myself as it becomes a child of god in this world; and yet, not being happy in the lord, and not being nourished and strengthened in my inner man day by day, all this might not be attended to in a right spirit. before this time my practice had been, at least for ten years previously, as an habitual thing, to give myself to prayer, after having dressed myself in the morning. now i saw, that the most important thing i had to do was, to give myself to the reading of the word of god and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be comforted, encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, by means of the word of god, whilst meditating on it, my heart might be brought into experimental communion with the lord. i began therefore to meditate on the new testament from the beginning early in the morning. the first thing i did, after having asked in a few words the lord�s blessing upon his precious word, was, to begin to meditate on the word of god, searching, as it were, into every verse, to get blessing out of it; not for the sake of the public ministry of the word; not for the sake of preaching on what i had meditated upon; but for the sake of obtaining food for my own soul. the result i have found to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes my soul has been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or to intercession, or to supplication; so that, though i did not, as it were, give myself to prayer, but to meditation, yet it turned almost immediately more or less into prayer. when thus i have been for awhile making confession, or intercession, or supplication, or have given thanks, i go on to the next words or verse, turning all, as i go on, into prayer for myself or others, as the word may lead to it; but still continually keeping before me, that food for my own soul is the object of my meditation. the result of this is, that there is always a good deal of confession, thanksgiving, supplication, or intercession mingled with my meditation, and that my inner man almost invariably is even sensibly nourished and strengthened, and that by breakfast time, with rare exceptions, i am in a peaceful if not happy state of heart. thus also the lord is pleased to communicate unto me that, which either very soon after, or at a later time, i have found to become food for other believers, though it was not for the sake of the public ministry of the word that i gave myself to meditation, but for the profit of my own inner man. with this mode i have likewise combined the being out in the open air for an hour, an hour and a half, or two hours before breakfast, walking about in the fields, and in the summer sitting for a little on the stiles, if i find it too much to walk all the time. i find it very beneficial to my health to walk thus for meditation before breakfast, and am now so in the habit of using the time for that purpose, that when i get into the open air, i generally take out a new testament of good sized type, which i carry with me for that purpose, besides my bible: and i find that i can profitably spend my time in the open air; which formerly was not the case, for want of habit i used to consider the time spent in walking a loss, but now i find it very profitable, not only to my body, but also to my soul. the walking out before breakfast is of course not necessarily connected with this matter, and every one has to judge according to his strength and other circumstances.--the difference then between my former practice and my present one is this. formerly, when i rose, i began to pray as soon as possible, and generally spent all my time till breakfast in prayer, or almost all the time. at all events i almost invariably began with prayer, except when i felt my soul to be more than usually barren, in which case i read the word of god for food, or for refreshment, or for a revival and renewal of my inner man, before i gave myself to prayer. but what was the result? i often spent a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, or even an hour on my knees, before being conscious to myself of having derived comfort, encouragement, humbling of soul, &c.; and often, after having suffered much from wandering of mind for the first ten minutes, or a quarter of an hour, or even half an hour, i only then began realty to pray. i scarcely ever suffer now in this way. for my heart being nourished by the truth, being brought into experimental fellowship with god, i speak to my father, and to my friend (vile though i am, and unworthy of it!) about the things that he has brought before me in his precious word. it often now astonishes me that i did not sooner see this point. in no book did i ever read about it. no public ministry ever brought the matter before me. no private intercourse with a brother stirred me up to this matter. and yet now, since god has taught me this point, it is as plain to me as any thing, that the first thing the child of god has to do morning by morning is, to obtain food for his inner man. as the outward man is not fit for work for any length of time, except we take food; and as this is one of the first things we do in the morning; so it should be with the inner man. we should take food for that, as every one must allow. now what is the food for the inner man? not prayer, but the word of god; and here again not the simple reading of the word of god, so that it only passes through our minds, just as water runs through a pipe, but considering what we read, pondering over it, and applying it to our hearts. when we pray, we speak to god. now, prayer, in order to be continued for any length of time in any other than a formal manner, requires, generally speaking, a measure of strength or godly desire, and the season, therefore, when this exercise of the soul can be most effectually performed, is, after the inner man has been nourished by meditation on the word of god, where we find our father speaking to us, to encourage us, to comfort us, to instruct us, to humble us, to reprove us. we may therefore profitably meditate, with god�s blessing, though we are ever so weak spiritually; nay, the weaker we are, the more we need meditation for the strengthening of our inner man. there is thus far less to be feared from wandering of mind, than if we give ourselves to prayer without having had previously time for meditation.--i dwell so particularly on this point because of the immense spiritual profit and refreshment i am conscious of having derived from it myself, and i affectionately and solemnly beseech all my fellow-believers to ponder this matter. by the blessing of god i ascribe to this mode the help and strength which i have had from god to pass in peace through deeper trials in various ways, than i had ever had before; and after having now above forty years tried this way, i can most fully, in the fear of god, commend it. in addition to this, i generally read after family prayer larger portions of the word of god, when i still pursue my practice of reading regularly onward in the holy scriptures, sometimes in the new testament and sometimes in the old, and for more than fifty-two years i have proved the blessedness of it. i take also either then or at other parts of the day, time more especially for prayer. how different, when the soul is refreshed and made happy early in the morning, from what it is when, without spiritual preparation, the service, the trials, arid the temptations of the day come upon one! may . today i received from the east indies l.--notice here, that without any solicitation, simply in answer to prayer, the lord is pleased to send us from time to time even large sums, and that from such a distance as the east indies. june . two or three weeks since, a brother at a distance requested me to let him know the names of my bankers, and the names of their agents in london, in order that he might by means of his bankers send me some money. one day after another passed away, and i heard no more about it. today i received the following letter "my dear brother, "i have delayed writing to you under the expectation of seeing you at bristol; but i am not yet suffered to leave ****. i have, by this post, written to ***** of london, desiring them to pay over to messrs. robarts, curtis & co., in favour of messrs. stuckey & co. of bristol, to the credit of george müller, the sum of fifty pounds. this apply, dear brother, as the lord gives you wisdom. i am not concerned at my having been prevented for so many days from sending this money: i am confident it has not been needed." this last sentence is remarkable. it is now nearly three years since our funds were for the first time exhausted, and only at this period, since then, could it have been said in truth, as far as i remember, that a donation of l. was not needed. from the beginning of july, , till now, there never had been a period when we so abounded as when this donation of l. came; for there was then in the orphan-fund and the other funds between two and three hundred pounds. the words of this brother are so much the more remarkable, as, on four former occasions, when he likewise gave considerable donations, we were always in need, yea, great need, which he afterwards knew from the printed accounts. on the same day came in still further from hackney l., besides several small donations. july , . for some time past brother craik and i have questioned whether, under our present circumstances, the mode of receiving the free-will offerings of the saints among whom we labour, by means of boxes over which our names were fixed, together with the explanation of the object of the boxes, was any longer the more excellent way. we have at last been quite decided about it, and put today the following short statement into the press. to the saints in christ jesus assembling at bethesda chapel, bristol. "dear brethren, "it has seemed well to us to remove, from the chapel, the boxes appropriated for the reception of the free-will offerings towards our temporal support. in order to prevent misapprehension or misrepresentation, we desire affectionately to lay before you the following statement of our reasons for taking this step. upon our first coming to bristol we declined accepting anything in the shape of regular salary, or by means of seat-rents, from the brethren among whom we were labouring. we did not act thus because we thought it wrong that those who were ministered unto in spiritual things should minister unto us in temporal things; but . because we would not have the liberality of the brethren to be a matter of constraint, but willingly; . because on the ground of james ii. - , we objected to seat-rents. boxes were put up for the sake of those into whose hearts god might put it to desire to act according to that word, "let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things." gal. vi. . when the boxes were first put up, we were the only brethren that seemed called to labour in the word and doctrine. since then, however, circumstances have considerably altered; and, partly from the change in circumstances, and, partly from increased light in reference to the position of those who minister the word, we have for some time past felt that it might be well, for certain reasons, that the present mode of receiving the offerings of the saints should be discontinued. at the same time we are very desirous of having it clearly understood, that, in the great principles which led to the adoption of the boxes, in the first instance, we are unchanged: or rather we are more strengthened, by the experience of more than ten years, in the propriety of rejecting seat-rents and fixed salaries. . as long as the boxes are there, it ought to be understood for what purpose the money, which is put into them, is applied. this necessity requires that our names should be given, as those who labour in the word and doctrine. this again has the appearance of elevating ourselves above all the other brethren, and of assuming office to ourselves, instead of just seeking to fill the place which the holy ghost may have given us in the body. . it may please the lord increasingly to call and qualify other brethren for the work of ruling and teaching in the church; but still, as long as we are looked upon as we have been hitherto, in consequence of our names being affixed to the boxes, unnecessary difficulties may probably be put in the way of any others being fully recognised by the saints generally as occupying, equally with ourselves, the place in which the lord may set them. . the question may be asked even now, "are these the only labourers?" and the reply would be that there are others who also labour, but who are not supported in the same way. this fact is fitted to give the impression to those who do not know us, that we were seeking to keep our place in the church by some outward title, rather than just filling it up in obedience to the lord, and quietly leaving it with his spirit to produce subjection unto us on the part of the saints. . lastly, from the manner in which our names appear in public, we have reason to believe that some of the saints look upon us as exclusively the "ministers," and thus that some may have felt themselves neglected because not visited personally by us. the notion that two individuals should be able to exercise pastoral inspection over about five hundred and fifty believers, we consider to be very unsound; but for ourselves we feel that it is a responsibility which we dare not take. according to our gift and strength we desire to rule, teach, and feed the sheep of christ; but we dare not undertake the personal inspection of all who are already gathered, or may be gathered, simply as believers in the lord jesus, in this city. thus we have endeavoured very briefly to state our reasons for declining any longer to receive your offerings through boxes publicly put up, and having our names appended to them. we desire grace to serve you more faithfully than ever, and cast ourselves, as we have done hitherto, upon him who hath said, "if any man serve me him will my father honour." henry craik, george mÜllermüller bristol, july , . . when this alteration was made, i had another proof of the many blessings which are connected with the life of faith. under other circumstances the question would have naturally arisen in my mind, and what will you do for support, if the boxes are removed? how will the offerings come in? will any come in? but none of these things troubled me even for a moment. i said to myself, somehow or other the lord will provide for me. if not through the instrumentality of the saints in bristol, he will send help by means of those who live elsewhere. all i have to do in this matter is, to serve the lord and to trust in him, and he will surely take care of my temporal necessities. and thus it has been since july also, even as before. the reader may desire to know, how the lord has since that time provided for my temporal necessities, seeing that the boxes, which were put up in the two chapels for the reception of the free-will offerings, were removed. i therefore state it. , i have received, as at former times, some presents in provisions, clothes, etc., from the saints among whom i labour and from other saints. , some of the brethren and sisters among whom i labour have either habitually or from time to time put up some money in paper, and directed it to brother craik or to me, or to both of us, and have put these little money parcels into one of the boxes for the reception of the offerings of the poor saints, or into the boxes into which the free-will contributions for the rent and expenses of the chapels are put. these little packets have been handed over to us by the deacons, and as they were directed so they have been appropriated, those which are directed to brother craik only, are handed over to brother craik; those which are directed to me only, i appropriate for myself; and those which are directed to both of us, the contents are divided between us. , in a few cases, brethren and sisters in communion with us have also given me presents in money. , the lord has also continued to incline the hearts of some of his children, not living in bristol, to send me presents in money, and again and again even those whom i have never seen, and whose names, sometimes, i do not even know. the only thing that was a real difficulty in my mind in making this alteration was, not that i should be a loser, and much less that the lord would not care for my temporal necessities; but lest some of the children of god should find, in the removal of the boxes for the reception of the offerings for brother craik and me, an excuse for doing nothing at all for our temporal necessities; and lest especially the poor, because they might have only pence or halfpence to give, should be deterred from doing so, and thereby both classes should rob themselves of blessing. it was not, because i feared to lose the gifts of some; for, i can, by the grace of god, say in some measure at least with the apostle paul, "not because i desire a gift: but i desire fruit that may abound to your account." philip iv. . my aim also is, by the help of god, to be brought into that state of heart in which the apostle paul was when he said, "i will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly i love you the less i be loved." cor. xii. . but yet with this desire on my part, i knew that the dear children of god among whom i labour would rob themselves and not me of a blessing, if they did not contribute towards my temporal necessities and i feared, lest this alteration should be used by satan as an instrument to their injury. but the mind of god seemed to us, after all, on account of the reasons before stated, that the alteration ought to be made, notwithstanding any possible evils which might result from it. we are thus in such a position, that there is free room for the holy ghost to commend all the various labourers among us, according to the measure of grace and gift given to them, to the consciences of the brethren, not only with reference to their spiritual position in the body, butt also with reference to their temporal need. aug. . today we had one sixpence left for our own personal necessities. we needed some money to buy eggs and cocoa for a brother who is come to stay with us, when this brother gave me four shillings, which he had brought for me from the place whence he comes. thus we are helped for the present. aug. . after a season of comparative poverty with reference to myself, though always having what was really needful in the way of nourishing food, etc., a brother sent me today l. s. from a considerable distance, of which half is for the orphans, and half for my own temporal necessities. sept. . during the last four months we have had more in hand for the orphans than we needed. since july , when for the first time the funds were exhausted, we have had at no period so much money in hand. there was as it were, during these four months, one continual even running of the river of god�s bounty, both by presents in money and articles. of the donations which were received during this period, i mention only the following:--on may th i received from florence, in italy, the following donations:-- silver pins and dollars; dollars and a sixpence; pauls (italian coins); l.; pincushions, penwipers, and a little shawl how abundantly do these donations from florence prove how easily the lord is able to provide us with means for his work, even from the most unexpected quarters!--as we had now for several months abounded in a greater degree than at any previous time of the same length during the past three years and three months, so it pleased the lord after this period to try our faith more severely than during any time since the work first commenced. indeed, so sharp were the trials of our faith for more than six months after this;--so long the seasons when, day after day, only daily supplies were granted to us, and when even from meal to meal we had to look to the lord;--so long had we to continue in prayer, and yet help seemed to fail;--that it can be only ascribed to the especial mercy of god, that the faith of those who were engaged in this work did not altogether fail, and that they did not entirely grow weary of this way of carrying on the lord�s work, and go, in despair of help from god, back again to the habits and maxims of this evil world. how my fellow-labourers have felt during all this time, i am, of course, unable to state; but, if i may speak of myself, i joyfully state, to the praise of the lord, that during all the following months my faith was sustained without wavering, but still so greatly was it tried, that often i had no other petition, but that the lord would be pleased to continue it, and that he would pity me as a father pitieth his children. in the midst of the trial i was fully assured that the lord would lighten his hand in his own good time, and that, whilst it lasted, it was only in order that in a small measure, for the benefit of the church of christ generally, that word might be fulfilled in us--"whether we be afflicted it is for your consolation." i now give an account of the commencement and progress of our trial of faith during the months which succeeded the time of abundance. sept. . the money in hand had come to l. s. i therefore asked the lord this morning for fresh supplies, and very soon after came a post-office order from glasgow for l. sept. . l. s. more had come in since september rd, but this morning the last money had been given out. after the great abundance during the last months, now not a farthing was left. i gave myself therefore to prayer, and in the afternoon i received a post-office order from a brother at plymouth for l. in the evening was left at my house a bonnet box from g. t. i., which contained s., shirts and handkerchiefs. sept. . today came in s. from the neighbourhood of wolverhampton, s. d. from bath, and l. was given by a brother, who had just arrived from ceylon. sept. . this morning l. was sent by a brother, a student in the university of cambridge, who had read my narrative; also s. d. came in besides. sept. . from the th to this day we were comfortably supplied with what we needed. today, when l. was needed, and there was only l. s. d. in hand, l. came in from the neighbourhood of wolverhampton, and s. by knitting. sept. . saturday. since the th was received, by donations and sale of articles, l. s. d., which enabled us, together with the l. s. which came in on the th, to meet all the expenses. but when i had sent off yesterday what was needed to meet the day�s need, nothing at all was left in hand for this day, whilst i knew that above l. would be required. the lord, therefore, in his faithful love sent in yesterday afternoon s. / d.; this morning l. from plymouth; and l. s. with several articles of clothing for the orphans from clapham. thus we had about twice as much as was required for this day. sept. . l. s. came in today. sept. . as l. was needed for the supplies of this day, and only l. l s. / d. was in hand, the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, in which was found s. d. sept. , when there was again only s. / d. in hand towards the need of today, a brother, a commercial traveller, having returned last night to bristol, brought me two sovereigns, which had been given him for the orphans by a lady at marlborough, who had read one of the reports. there came in still further today l. s. d. oct. . when i had again not one penny in hand for the necessities of this day, there was brought to me this morning s. for the orphans, which had been sent from kensington. in the paper, which contained the money, was written: "your heavenly father knoweth that ye have need of these things." "trust in the lord." this word of our lord is to me of more value than many bank notes. about five minutes later i received from an irish sister l., through her banker in london. at the same time i received information from tetbury that three boxes, containing articles to be disposed of for the benefit of the orphans, were on the way, and two hours after, small donations were given to me, amounting to l. s. d.--i mention here, as a point particularly to be noticed, that after the season of comparative abundance had come to an end in september, the lord did not at once allow us to be so sharply tried as we were afterwards. he dealt in the same gentle way with us three years before, when the trials of faith in this part of the work first commenced. oct. . as only l. more had been received for the orphans since oct. ; the last money had now again been given out to supply this day�s necessities, when l. s. came in, being the produce of some of the articles which had been sent from tetbury. this evening i also received from a brother a sovereign, which his believing wife, on her dying bed, had requested him to give after her decease. there came in likewise this evening by a donation s., and by sale of articles l. s. d. during the last five months we have had comparatively an abundance of means for the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution also; but now we are again very poor. just now, in this our great need, a brother, who has learned to esteem the holy scriptures above every other book, sent me a box of books, the produce of which supplies our present need for the day schools. oct. . no more than l. s. d, having been received for the orphans since the th, there was only l. s. d. in hand, whilst l. was needed, it being saturday. in the course of the morning l. came in for stockings, from a sister who resides five or six miles from bristol; and in the afternoon another sister sent s., and a third brought l. the latter had it particularly laid on her heart not to delay till tomorrow the giving of this money, as it might be needed today. thus the lord has not only given us enough for today, but also a little to begin the next week with. oct. . today we received still further l. s. d. for the orphans. oct. . when today again money was needed for the day schools, there arrived from marlborough a box of books, containing volumes and several pamphlets. the produce of the books, together with l. s. d., which came in at the same time, supplied again our present necessities. oct. . more than l. had come in since the th for the orphans; but today there was again only s. / d. in hand, whilst about l. was required. the boxes at the orphan-houses were therefore opened, which contained l. s. in the course of the day also s. d. was paid for stockings. about seven o�clock this evening sister e. c. brought several small donations, amounting to l. s. d., for the orphans, and s. d. for the other funds. thus we had even for this day l. s. / d. oct. . as only between l. and l. had come in since the th for the orphans, we were this day again, as is often the case, without anything in hand, when s. d. was sent from exmouth, and s. d. came in by sale of stockings. there arrived also a box and a basket from ilfracombe, the contents of which are to be sold for the benefit of the orphans. moreover s. d. was taken out of the boxes in the orphan-houses. oct. . by the money which was yesterday taken out of the boxes, and by l. s. which came in by disposing of some of the articles sent from ilfracombe, we were comfortably supplied today. oct. . we had only s. d., which i found in the box in my house, s. d. for stockings, and s. which came in morning, besides a few shillings in the hands of the matrons, to help us through the day. oct. . today, when we had not enough to pay the salaries of the teachers in the day schools, i received l. from a sister at topsham, which supplied our need. oct. . yesterday and today was given l. s. for the orphans. oct. . this afternoon i had only one penny left, when two orphans arrived from bath, with whom l. s. d. was brought. at the very moment, while i was receiving this money, i was called on for money from the girls�-orphan-house, which i was thus able to send. it has often been so ordered by the lord, that, whilst we require nothing at all to be paid at the admission of the children, nevertheless that which has been brought with them has been the means of supplying the need, in which we were at the time when they were sent. there came in still further today l. oct. . today we were again very poor; for not only had i nothing at all in hand, but the provision stores were much reduced. about twelve o�clock a sister gave me s. d., also from a distance was sent d. in the afternoon we were able to dispose of some articles for l., which had been sent a long time ago. three shillings came in for needlework, and s. d. as a donation. thus we had l. s. d.--the day before yesterday i had asked the lord that he would be pleased to send us some potatoes, as we have no means to lay in a stock. this morning i was informed that the same brother who had sent sacks last year, had again ordered sacks to be sent, and sacks have also been given by another individual. oct. . as this is saturday, the money which came in yesterday was not quite enough for today. but this morning�s post brought, in answer to prayer, from clapham s. and anonymously from plymouth s. nov. . yesterday was received altogether l. s. d. nov. . at a time of the greatest poverty l. was sent by a lady from birmingham. about half an hour afterwards i received l. from a brother who had saved up l. and put it into a savings� bank, but who now sees that, to devote this money to the promotion of the work of god tends more to the glory of the name of jesus, than to retain it in a savings� bank upon interest for a time of sickness or old age; for he is assured that should such times come, the same lord, who has hitherto cared for him whilst in health and strength, and able to work, will also care for him then. the same brother gave me l. a fortnight since. this l. came in very seasonably; for though we had been able to provide for the absolute necessities of today, yet there was want in many respects, especially as a boy is just going out as an apprentice, who needs tools and an outfit. nov. . this afternoon two little boys were received, with whom three little girls sent s. d. nov. and . l. s. ld. more was given. nov. . when there was now again nothing at all in hand, there came in l., being the profit of the sale of ladies� baskets; and also l. s. d. nov. - . l. s. d. was received during these four days. nov. . this morning after the exposition of the scriptures to the children, s. was given to me, at a time when there was not only nothing at all in hand, but when without some help we should not have had every thing that was really needed for today. nov. . saturday. this morning i took s. out of the box in my house. this one shilling was all there was towards the need of today.--pause, dear reader, for a few moments! consider that there are more than a hundred persons to be provided with every thing they require; consider that there is no money in hand; and consider also that this is the case not once nor twice in the course of the year but very frequently. is it not precious, under such circumstances, to have the living god as a father to go to, who is ever able and ever willing to help as it may be really needed? and to this privilege every one has a title who believes in the lord jesus, being as such a child of god. galatians iii. . for though all believers in the lord jesus are not called upon to establish orphan-houses, schools for poor children, etc., and trust in god for means; yet all believers, according to the will of god concerning them in christ jesus, may cast, and ought to cast, all their care upon him who careth for them, and need not be anxiously concerned about any thing, as is plainly to be seen from peter v. , philippians iv. , matthew vi. - . under these circumstances of need, a silver watch, which only yesterday afternoon had become the property of the orphan-fund, was disposed of, whereby we were helped through the expenses of today. the coals are almost gone in each of the houses. every article of provision, etc., is likewise much reduced. truly, we are exceedingly poor; nevertheless there are the necessary provisions till monday morning, and thus we were brought to the close of another week. this afternoon all the labourers met for prayer. nov. . when we met again this afternoon for prayer, we had reason to praise, for the lord had sent in means. this morning was given to me l., and s. had come in by sale of articles. there came also by post a small parcel from wales, containing a few little articles, which are not to be mentioned, and s. d. nov. . last friday brother craik and i had a meeting for inquirers and candidates for fellowship. we saw eight and had to send away ten whom we could not see, our strength being quite gone after we had seen the eight, one after another. this evening we saw seven and had to send away three. nov. . the last four days we have daily met for prayer, there being no means to pay the teachers in the day schools. besides this, we need a stove in one of the school rooms; also some bibles and tracts. today i received l. from a brother at exmouth. as only s. had been given yesterday for the orphans, there was this morning again only s. d., in hand, which between ten and eleven o�clock i was on the point of sending to the orphan-houses, having been called on for money. while i was writing the note to that effect, i received a post-office order for l. from a brother at barnstaple, which was again a most precious deliverance, as our stores had been in every way so much reduced. about two hours later i received l. more from a brother at exmouth, the half of which was for the orphans, and the other half for the other objects. through the same brother also was sent with luke xxii. . l. for the orphans. there came in still further today l. for stockings, which were bought by two ladies who visited the orphan-houses. they also gave s. d. also an individual who had removed at four different times the furniture of the orphan-houses to and from westbury, where the children had been, in turn, from aug. to nov. , while the houses were coloured down and painted inside, charged only l. s. / d., instead of l. s. / d., which would have been the regular charge, and stated that he had long wished to do something for the orphans, and that he should not have charged even this l. s. / d. had he not had to lay it out in money. thus the lord in various ways helps us, and all without our asking any human being, but only in simplicity telling him day by day our need. nov. . to day we had again a meeting with inquirers, and saw seven. nov. . only l. s. d. came in since the th for the orphans, on account of which there was today again no money at all in hand, and the stores were very much exhausted. how kind, therefore, of the lord to send in again at this time l. s. nov. . yesterday came in s. for stockings, which provided today the means for the breakfast in the boys�-orphan-house. a sister sent also a gammon and some peas. now we are very poor indeed. one of the labourers was able to provide a dinner in the girls�-orphan-house out of his own means. in this our great need came in s. d. by sale of reports, which money had been expected for some months past, but which the lord sent just now most seasonably. besides this, s. d. was also received for the children�s needlework. thus we were provided for this day also. in the afternoon the lord gave us a still further proof of the continuance of his loving care over us, now that we are so poor; for a box arrived from plymouth, containing clothes, trinkets, etc. nov. . we have been daily meeting for prayer the last twelve days. today, just before i was going to the meeting, one of the articles, which came in the box from plymouth yesterday afternoon, was sold for l. s., which sum supplies us with means for this day. the donors may not have thought, perhaps, that their bounty would so soon be needed.--when i came to the prayer-meeting, i heard of a little circumstance which is worthy of notice. the infant orphans took a walk this morning with their teacher. a poor woman came to her, whilst they were walking, and gave her two pence for the benefit of the orphans, adding "it is but a trifle, but i must give it you." now, one of these two pence had been needed, by the time i came, to make up the little sum which was required for the bread.--this afternoon was received still further d., and also s. by the sale of some of the articles which came from plymouth. nov. . with s. ld. we began the day, which was not sufficient for all that was required. in the afternoon came in s. for knitting. thus we had enough for this day also. nov. . one of the labourers gave s.; s. came in by sale of articles, and d. was taken out of the box in my house. little as this was, yet we were able to procure with it all that was really needful; but now our provision stock is very much reduced. nov. . this is saturday, and nothing at all was in hand when the day commenced. my especial prayer had been, that the lord would, be pleased early in the morning to send us supplies, as otherwise there would not be sufficient for dinner. accordingly, about o�clock, a parcel came from clapham, containing s. and the following articles: yards of calico, a frock, a chemise, petticoats, a flannel ditto, handkerchiefs, pinafores, a furnished workbag, an old silver thimble, and half a franc. thus the lord kindly provided us with means for the dinner, and we took it as a token for good that he would send what else might be needed this day. there came in still further in the course of the afternoon, by sale of an article, given by one of the labourers, s.; by sale of some lithographic sketches, given by one of the labourers, s. d.; by sale of articles given some time since, s.; by sale of stockings, s. d.; and by a donation, s. thus the lord was pleased to give us in the course of this day l. s. d., while we were in the greatest need in the morning, and without any natural prospect of having the means which were required for the day. nov. . the lord has kindly sent in supplies. yesterday was given altogether l. s. d. these two weeks we have been likewise in the greatest poverty in reference to the day schools; but the lord has almost daily sent in a little to supply the absolute necessities of the brethren and sisters, who are engaged in that part of the work. nov. . though l. s. d. had been given, yet, as the stores had been previously so reduced, there was again some more money needed today. s. came in by sale of articles, and one of the labourers gave some money of his own. in this time of great need there arrived a parcel, sent anonymously, which contained the following articles: combs, shells, pairs of gilt bracelets, single bracelets, a pair of ditto, a gilt chain, a gilt necklace, a cornelian ditto, a bead ditto, a brooch, a buckle, pairs of earrings, rings, pairs of drops, and a single ear-ring. dec. . again there were many shillings needed for this day. at the boys�-orphan-house matters stood so in the morning, that, with an addition of eight pence, the dinner could be provided; but there was only seven pence in hand. brother b. having heard that something had been put last evening into the box at the girls�-orphan-house, went, and it was found to be one penny, which an aged sister had put in, whereby the present need was supplied. even the gift of this one penny was thus evidently under the ordering of our kind father, who not in anger, but for the trial of our faith, keeps us so poor. about ten o�clock this morning was sent by post, half a sovereign. in the letter was written: "from the wife of a clergyman, for the orphan-houses, nov. ." this donation was truly sweet, as coming from our faithful lord, though it was not nearly enough. but he had pity on us, and sent in still further today by the sale of stockings s., and by the sale of other articles s. dec. . in the course of this morning was sold a part of the trinkets which came on nov. th, for l. s. d. besides this came in by sale of articles s. d. thus was our present need supplied in the afternoon l. was sent by a sister from plymouth, and by a sister in bristol was given to me s. dec. and . l. s. d. has been received during these two days. dec. . yesterday the lord again, in his faithful love, sent in means for the need of today. a gentleman from devonshire came to me after the meeting, introduced himself as a brother, and gave me l. for the work of the lord, as it might be needed. i had pleasant brotherly communion with him, but he preferred not to give me his name. besides this, came in s. / d. by sale of articles. as this s. / d. was not enough for the supply of the orphans for this day, there being nothing at all in hand besides, and l. more needed, i took l. of the l. for the orphans, and l. for the other objects. through the same stranger i received also s. d. from a sister. there came in this evening l. s. besides. by the l. which i took of the l. given by the gentleman from devonshire, the most pressing need with regard to the teachers in the day schools is relieved. this stranger gave me also l. for missionary purposes. dec. . three weeks and three days we have now been daily meeting for prayer, on account of the state of the funds, and to ask the lord�s blessing upon the work. we have been daily asking him to supply us with means for the school-bible-missionary-and tract fund. now, today, in this our great poverty, was sent by a sister from one of the northern counties, whom i have never seen, the sum of l. of which, according to her wish, l. is to be applied to each of these objects, and l. for the orphans. thus the lord has been pleased to send us a little help, which is greatly needed for all the objects: for the teachers have had only as much as was absolutely needful, the bible stock is almost entirely exhausted, the tract stock is quite exhausted, and to some missionary brethren we greatly desired to send help, but were unable to do so. nevertheless, even now we are waiting upon the lord for further supplies. when this money came, there was none at all in hand for the orphans, though for many reasons fresh supplies were much needed. by this l., then, the lord has again helped us for the present. there was likewise sent anonymously by post, l. dec. . today came in for the orphans by the sale of stockings s. d.--we are now brought to the close of the sixth year of this part of the work, having only in hand the money which has been put by for the rent; but during the whole of this year we have been supplied with all that was needed. during the last three years we had closed the accounts on this day, and had, a few days after, some public meetings at which for the benefit of the hearers, we stated how the lord had dealt with us during the year, and the substance of what had been stated at these meetings was afterwards printed for the benefit of the church at large. this time, however, it appeared to us better to delay for awhile both the public meetings and the publishing of the report through grace we had learned to lean upon the lord only, being assured, that, if we never were to speak or write one single word more about this work, yet should we be supplied with means, as long as he should enable us to depend on himself alone. but whilst we neither had had those public meetings for the purpose of exposing our necessity, nor had had the account of the lord�s dealings with us published for the sake of working thereby upon the feelings of the readers, and thus inducing them to give money, but only that we might by our experience benefit other saints; yet it might have appeared to some that in making known our circumstances we were actuated by some such motives. what better proof, therefore, could we give of our depending upon the living god alone, and not upon public meetings or printed reports, than that, in the midst of our deep poverty, instead of being glad for the time to have come when we could make known our circumstances, we still went on quietly for some time longer, without saying any thing. we therefore determined, as we sought and still seek in this work to act for the profit of the saints generally, to delay both the public meetings and the report for a few months. naturally we should have been, of course, as glad as any one to have exposed our poverty at that time; but spiritually we were enabled to delight even then in the prospect of the increased benefit that might be derived by the church at large from our acting as we did.--i now proceed where i left off. dec. . since the day before yesterday the following sums came in for the orphans, whereby the need of yesterday and today has been supplied. a brother gave l. a little boy and girl brought the produce of their savings� banks, amounting to s. d. by the sale of stockings came in s. d., and by six donations s. d. dec. . yesterday came in l. s. d., and today s. by this l. s. d. this day�s need has been met. there was also, very seasonably, half a ton of coals sent to each of the three orphan-houses. dec. . yesterday afternoon a lady sent a sovereign for the orphans. there came in s. d. besides. thus we had enough for this day likewise. dec. . having now again nothing in hand for the orphans, the boxes were opened, in which s. d. was found. this, with a little which one of the labourers was able to add of his own, helped us through the day. from nov. up to this day, my fellow-labourers in the church and i have seen thirty inquirers and candidates for fellowship, and some of them we have seen repeatedly. how can we sufficiently praise the lord for still continuing to use us in his service. dec. . nothing at all had come in for the orphans; but as one of the labourers had last evening, most unexpectedly, received some money from a distance of about two hundred miles, and as the lord inclined his heart to give of it for the present need, we were supplied for today also. dec. . in like manner we are helped today. dec. . saturday morning. there is now the greatest need, and only d. in hand, which i found in the box at my house; yet i fully believe the lord will supply us this day also with all that is required.--pause a few moments, dear reader! observe two things! we acted for god in delaying the public meetings and the publishing of the report; but god�s way leads always into trial, so far as sight and sense are concerned. nature always will be tried in god�s ways. the lord was saying by this poverty, "i will now see whether you truly lean upon me, and whether you truly look to me." of all the seasons that i had ever passed through since i had been living in this way, up to that time, i never knew any period in which my faith was tried so sharply, as during the four months from dec. , , to april , . but observe further: we might even now have altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publishing the report; for no one knew our determination, at this time, concerning the point. nay, on the contrary, we knew with what delight very many children of god were looking forward to receive further accounts. but the lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion, at which we had arrived under his guidance.--now to return to saturday, dec. th. evening. the lord has been very kind to us this day. in the course of the morning s. came in. we had thus, with what provisions there were in hand, all that was needed for the dinner, but no means to provide for the next meal in the afternoon. a few minutes after the labourers had met together for prayer this morning, there was given to one of them a sovereign for himself. by means of this, all that was needed for tea could be procured. another labourer gave s. d. and two books, which were sold for s. there came in still further in the course of the afternoon and evening:--by sale of stockings, s. d.; by needlework, d.; and by sale of articles, s. thus, when we again met in the evening for prayer, we found that the supplies had amounted to l. s. d., enough for all that was required today. but one thing more is to be noticed respecting this day. i was informed that three more of the orphans have been recently brought to the knowledge of the truth. we have now been meeting daily for prayer during the last five weeks, and thus the lord has not merely heard our prayers respecting the funds, but has also blessed these children. dec. . the lord has again kindly sent fresh supplies. a sister gave l.; a servant sent l.; another servant, s d. by sale of articles l s. d. this morning, just before was going to the prayer-meeting, a lady brought l.; and s. more i received this evening. dec. . though s. s. d. had been received yesterday and the day before, there was only s. remaining towards the supply of the necessities of today. at one o�clock three little boys gave me the produce of their orphan-box, which was s. d. when i came home, i found that l. had come in, being a legacy left for the orphans by a lady who died at the commencement of the year. this money comes in most seasonably, not merely for the supply of the wants of the children, but also as enabling me to give to some of the labourers in the orphan-houses supplies for themselves. dec. . this is now the sixth week that the labourers in the day-schools and orphan-houses have daily met for prayer. several precious answers we have already received since we began to meet, as it regards pecuniary supplies, fresh instances of conversion among the children, etc. one of our petitions has been that the lord would be pleased to furnish us with means for a stove at callowhill street school-room. but though we had often mentioned this matter before the lord, he seemed not to regard our request. yesterday afternoon, while walking in my little garden, and meditating and praying, i had an unusual assurance that the time was now come when the lord would answer our request, which arose partly from my being able to believe that he would send the means, and partly from the fact that the answer could no longer be delayed, without prayer having failed in this matter, as we could not assemble the children again, after the christmas vacation, without there being a stove put up. and now, dear reader, observe:--this morning i received from a. b. l., and we have thus much more than is required for a stove. dec. . on the nd and rd l. s. d. came in for the orphans. the need of today was l. s., but only l. was in hand. this afternoon, however, l. was sent from kensington and l. from plymouth. this evening we received still further anonymously s., and by knitting l. s. dec. . by sale of articles was received s. d. dec. . this afternoon i was walking in my little garden, meditating on and turning into prayer rom. viii. - . when i came to verse , the necessity of the orphans came to my mind, as tomorrow we shall again need more money than there is in hand, and i therefore asked the lord that he would be pleased to give me a fresh proof that he will "freely give us all things," by supplying our present need. this evening i spoke on the above-mentioned passage, and after the meeting a sister gave to my wife l., of which l. was for the orphans, and l. for my own necessities. there came in s. besides. dec. . as only l. l s. had been received since the th, there was again nothing in hand towards the need of this day. about an hour before the money was sent for from the orphan-houses, an individual who lives in redcliff parish, bristol, sent l. by sale of stockings came in likewise s. d. review of the year . i. in reading over my journal, i find that the lord has given me during this year many precious answers to prayer, in addition to those which have been recorded in the previous part of the narrative. i mention the following for the encouragement of the reader: , one of the orphan-boys needed to be apprenticed. i knew of no suitable believing master, who would take an in-door apprentice. i gave myself to prayer, and brought the matter daily before the lord. i marked it down among the subjects for which i would daily ask the lord; and at last, though from may to september i had to pray about the matter, the lord granted my request; for in september i found a suitable place for him. , on may rd i began to ask the lord that he would be pleased to deliver a certain sister in the lord from the great spiritual depression under which she was suffering, and after three days the lord granted me my request. , on june th i began to ask the lord to deliver a brother at a distance from the great spiritual nervousness in which he found himself shut up, which not only distressed him exceedingly, and in a great measure hindered him in his service towards the world and the church; but which, in consequence, was also a trial to the saints who knew and valued this dear brother. this petition i brought many times before the lord. the year passed away, and it was not granted. but yet at last this request also has been granted to me and to the many dear saints who, i know, prayed for this dear brother; for though he was for some years in this state, it is now [in ] two years and more since he has been quite restored. , on june th i also began to ask the lord daily, in his mercy to keep a sister in the lord from insanity, who was then apparently on the very border of it; and i have now [in ] to record to his praise, after nearly four years have passed away, that the lord has kept her from it. , during this year i was informed about the conversion of one of the very greatest sinners, that i ever heard of in all my service for the lord. repeatedly i fell on my knees with his wife, and asked the lord for his conversion, when she came to me in the deepest distress of soul, on account of the most barbarous and cruel treatment that she received from him, in his bitter enmity against her for the lord�s sake, and because he could not provoke her to be in a passion, and she would not strike him again, and the like. at the time when it was at its worst i pleaded especially on his behalf the promise in matthew xviii. : "again i say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven." and now this awful persecutor is converted. , on may th i began to ask the lord for greater real spiritual prosperity among the saints, among whom i labour in bristol, than there ever yet had been among them; and now i have to record to the praise of the lord that truly he has answered this request; for, considering all things, at no period has there been more manifestation of grace and truth, and spiritual power among us, than there is now while i am writing this for the press ( ). not that we have attained to what we might; we are far, very far from it; but the lord has been very, very good to us, and we have most abundant cause for thanksgiving. ii. the state of the church with reference to numbers, etc. brethren and sisters brother craik and i found in communion, when we came to bristol. have been admitted into communion since we came to bristol. would be, therefore, the total number of those in communion with us, had there been no changes. but, have left bristol. have left us, but are still in bristol are under church discipline. have fallen asleep. are therefore to be deducted from , so that there are only at present in communion. have been added during the past year, of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the lord among us. iii. the lord�s goodness as to my temporal supplies during this year. . the lord has been pleased to give me by means of the anonymous freewill offerings of the saints, put into the boxes at our meeting places £ s. / d. . by presents in money from the brethren among whom i labour in bristol £ s. d. . by presents in money from children of god not living in bristol £ s. d. . by presents in provisions, clothes, furniture, etc., from the saints among whom i labour, worth to us at least £ s. d. . by presents in clothes, &c., from believers not living in bristol, worth to us at least £ s. d. altogether £ s. / d. thus during this year also, without asking any one but the lord for help, with regard to ray temporal necessities, i have been richly supplied with all i needed; yea, i have had much more than i needed. january , . last night we had our usual prayer-meeting at the close of the year, which this time lasted from seven in the evening till half-past twelve. jan. . this evening we had a most precious public prayer-meeting. when the usual time for closing the meeting came, it appeared to me that there was a desire to continue to wait upon the lord. i therefore proposed to the brethren that those who had bodily strength, time, and a desire for waiting still longer upon the lord, would do so. at least thirty remained, and we continued till after ten in prayer, whilst several brethren prayed. i never knew prayer more really in the spirit. i experienced for myself unusual nearness to the lord, and was enabled to ask in faith, nothing doubting. on the st of january came in for the orphans l. s. d.; on the nd l. s. d.; and today came in from plymouth l., from exmouth l., from a sister in bristol l., and from the east indies l. i have by this l. s. d. been enabled, as it had been my prayer, to give some money to the other five sisters who labour in the orphan houses, for their own personal necessities. jan. . as we have often found it to be the case, so it is now. after a season of more than usual poverty, comes a time of more than usual abundance. today the same brother, who has been spoken of under november nd, and who has drawn his money out of the savings�-bank to spend it for the lord, sent l. more of it. there came in also from guernsey l., and l. s. besides. i am now able to order oatmeal from scotland, buy materials for the boys� clothes, order shoes, etc. thus the lord has been pleased to answer all our requests with respect to the pecuniary necessities of the orphans, which we have brought before him in our prayer meetings during the last seven weeks. we have thus had of late an abundance, but the expenses have been great also; for within the last twenty-five days i have paid out above l. jan. . as only little above l. had been received since the th, there was today again only l. s. / d. in hand, whilst , s. was needed, it being saturday. however, as the lord has helped us very many saturdays, when we had still less at the commencement of the day, so it was today also. about an hour before the money was called for, i received from the neighbourhood of crediton l., which came with the especial recommendation of a gentleman and lady to introduce the use of oatmeal in the orphan-houses, if we had not done so, and this money was sent towards the first supply. we have, however, used oatmeal now for many months, and have found it decidedly of great benefit to the children as about a fortnight since i had ordered l. worth from glasgow, this money came in most seasonably to supply the other necessities of this day. jan. . yesterday the lord sent in l. s. d., to supply the need of this day. jan. . there was now again this morning nothing in hand for the orphans. about ten o�clock there was sent to me, as the produce of an orphan box, a small necklace, an old sixpence, and s. d. there came in also by sale of stockings s. d. as this s. d. was not enough, the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, which contained s. d., and thus we were again supplied. perhaps, dear reader, you have said in your heart before you have read thus far: "how would it be, suppose the funds for the orphans were reduced to nothing, and those who are engaged in the work had nothing of their own to give, and a meal time were to come, and you had no food for the children." thus indeed it may be, for our hearts are desperately wicked. if ever we should be so left to ourselves, as that either we depend no more upon the living god, or that "we regard iniquity in our hearts," then such a state of things, we have reason to believe, would occur. but so long as we shall be enabled to trust in the living god, and so long as, though falling short in every way of what we might be, and ought to be, we are at least kept from living in sin, such a state of things cannot occur. therefore, dear reader, if you yourself walk with god, and if, on that account, his glory is dear to you, i affectionately and earnestly entreat you to beseech him to uphold us; for how awful would be the disgrace brought upon his holy name, if we, who have so publicly made our boast in him, and have spoken well of him, should be left to disgrace him, either by unbelief in the hour of trial, or by a life of sin in other respects. jan. . again there was nothing in hand when the day commenced. in the course of the morning a gentleman from yorkshire came to the orphan-houses. he bought two reports, and one copy of the "improved renderings," put s. d. into the box at the boys-orphan-house, and s. into the box at the infant-orphan-house. there was also one penny found in the box at the girls�-orphan-house. this s. d. would have provided the absolute necessities for today, but it was desirable to have more means. i therefore opened the box in my house, in which i found a sovereign and a shilling. we were thus comfortably provided. jan. . last evening came in s. this morning a parcel arrived from e. p., containing s., and the following articles: books, a bible, pairs of socks, pairs of babies� shoes, a purse, a lady�s comb, a lady�s bag, a pair of knitted over-shoes, and pairs of muffetees. yesterday afternoon a gentleman came to see the orphan-houses, and put a sovereign into the box at the boys�-orphan-house, which our need has brought out. we have thus l. s. for this day.--evening. this afternoon came in still further l. from a lady at kensington, on whose heart the lord seems to have particularly laid the work. jan. . the two sovereigns, which came in on the th, supplied our need yesterday. when i had again nothing in hand, to meet today�s necessities, a sister came last evening, who brought me l. s., a sovereign from another sister, and s. from herself. she said: "i do not know whether the orphans have a dinner for tomorrow or not, but i had no rest in delaying to bring this money." i had but just then come home from a meeting, and had on the way to my house been lifting up my heart to the lord, that he would be pleased to remember our need.--this morning was sent from clapham l. s. d., with frocks, a petticoat, handkerchiefs, and pinafores. my dear reader, do you indeed recognise the hand of god in all these instances i have given instance upon instance, i have brought before you not this particular case, nor another particular case; but i have purposely shown you how we have fared day after day in our poverty, in order that you may adore the lord for his goodness to us, and that you yourself may be led to depend upon him for every thing, should you not have done so before. i affectionately beseech you, not to take these instances as a matter of course. say not in your heart, this is a charitable institution; persons know that the maintenance of these many orphans, and the support of these day schools, etc., costs much money; and therefore they will contribute. nor suffer satan to rob you of the blessing which the account of the lord�s faithfulness to us, and his readiness to listen to our supplications is calculated with god�s blessing, to communicate to you, by allowing him to whisper into your ears, that, because the report are read by many, donations will of course be coming in, and that not all at once, but gradually, and that this is the way in which we are supplied. dear reader, it is not thus. suppose, we have been for some time on the whole bountifully supplied. suppose, now all is gone. suppose, the expenses are great, but very little comparatively is coming in. what shall we do now? if we took goods on credit, or if we made known our necessities at such times to the liberal christians who have means, and who are interested in the work in our hands, then, humanly speaking, there might be little difficulty; but we neither take goods on credit, nor do we speak to any one about our need, but we wait upon god. now, suppose our expenses are week after week, l., l., l., or l.? how are the means to come? persons might still give; yea, many persons might still give, but it might just happen so, that all the donations that are received at the time when our expenses are most heavy are very small donations; how shall we do then? sometimes the outgoings have been so great, that if i had sold every thing i possessed, i could not thereby have met the expenses of two weeks. what then is to be done? we wait upon god, and he always helps us, and has done so now [i. e. in ] for more than forty-five years with reference to the orphans, and for more than forty-seven with reference to the other parts of the work. feb. . saturday. as only l. s. d. had been received since january th, i. e. only so much as day by day was needed to provide necessaries for the orphans, there is again the greatest need. it is now twelve o�clock, and there are no means as yet to meet the expenses of today. the words in the prayer of jehoshaphat, "neither know we what to do, but our eyes are upon thee," are at this moment the language of my heart. i likewise know not what to do, but my eyes are upon the lord, and i am sure that he will help this day also. our kind father still gives us proofs that he is mindful of our need; for last evening were anonymously sent to my house, waistcoats, a shawl, a net collar, / yards of print, decanters, and clarendon�s history of england. and just now, a small silver book, a pepper box with silver top, and some muslin work have arrived from birmingham.--evening. in the course of the morning came in, by sale of articles, l s. we were able likewise to dispose of one of the articles, which were sent last evening, for s. this afternoon one of the labourers gave me s., and s. came in for needle-work. by means of this l. s. we were able to supply all that was needed. feb. . yesterday was received l. s. d., and today s. d. feb. . by what came in yesterday, and the day before, the need of yesterday was supplied, and there is enough in all the houses for the meals of today; but in none of the houses have we been able to take in any bread; and as yesterday also but little could be taken in, there will not remain any for tomorrow; nor is there money enough to take in milk tomorrow morning. there are likewise coals needed in two houses. indeed, so far as i know, these three years and seven months, since first the funds were exhausted, we were never in greater poverty; and if the lord were not to send means before nine o�clock tomorrow morning, his name would be dishonoured. but i am fully assured that he will not leave us.--evening. the lord has not yet been pleased to send us what is needed for tomorrow, but he has given us a fresh proof that he is mindful of us. between four and five o�clock this afternoon were sent nine plum cakes, which a sister had ordered to be baked as a treat for the orphans. these cakes were an encouragement to me to continue to look out for further supplies. there was also found in the boxes at the orphan-houses, s. l / d., and s. d. came in for stockings. these little donations are most precious, but they are not enough to meet the need of tomorrow; yea, before nine o�clock tomorrow morning we need more money to be able to take in the milk. truly, we are poorer than ever; but, through grace, my eyes look not at the empty stores and the empty purse, but to the riches of the lord only. feb. . this morning i went between seven and eight o clock to the orphan-houses, to see whether the lord had sent in any thing. when i arrived there, he had just two or three minutes before sent help.--a brother, in going to his house of business this morning, had gone already about half a mile, when the lord was pleased to lay the orphans upon his heart. he said, however, to himself, i cannot well return now, but will take something this evening; and thus he walked on. nevertheless he could not go any further, but felt himself constrained to go back, and to take to brother r. b., at the boys�-orphan-house, three sovereigns. [the donor himself stated this to me afterwards.]--thus the lord in his faithfulness helped us. help was never more truly needed, for our poverty was never greater; nor did the help of the lord ever come more manifestly from himself; for the brother was gone on a good distance, it was between seven and eight o�clock in the morning, and it was so short a time before money was needed. consider this, beloved reader, and with us praise the lord. praise him particularly, that he enabled us to trust in him in this trying hour. there came in besides, today, s. d. feb. . the l. s. d. supplied our need the last two days. today again a few shillings more were needed, which one of the labourers was able to give of his own; but this was only enough to take in the usual quantity of milk, and some bread. feb. . saturday. never since the funds were for the first time exhausted, had there come in less during any week, than during this. we were only able to supply the absolute necessities; but this we were enabled to do. when the meal times came, the lord always provided what was needful, and, considering the great distress there is now almost everywhere, our dear orphans are very well provided for. now this day began not only without there being any thing in hand, but our stores were greatly reduced, and we had to procure provisions for two days. one of the labourers gave s. in the morning, to provide the means to take in the milk. i collected together some pamphlets, which had been given for sale, to dispose of them, and they were sold about eleven o�clock for s. there came in also by sale of stockings s., and s. was paid on behalf of one of the orphans. thus we were provided with means to procure a dinner, and had a little towards purchasing bread, but by no means enough. all the labourers were together in prayer from half-past eleven till one, and me separated comfortably, with the purpose of meeting again in the evening. when i came home, there was given to me an old broken silver pencil case, which, though worth very little, i took as a fresh proof that our father was mindful of our need. when we met again this evening, we found that s. d. had come in by sale of stockings, and d. for two reports. as all this was not enough, a few old and needless articles were disposed of for s., also the broken pencil ease for d. i say needless articles, for other articles it did not seem right to us to dispose of, in order that the lord�s own deliverance might be manifest. a labourer was also still further able to give s. of his own. to one of the labourers s. had been owed by a certain individual for more than a twelvemonth, which being paid just now, and given by him for the orphans, came in most seasonably. thus we had l. s. d., as much as was needful to procure provisions till after breakfast on monday morning. however, the lord helped still further. between eight and nine this evening, after we had been together for prayer, and had now separated, some money was given to one of the labourers for himself, by which means he was able to give s., so that altogether l. s. d. had come in this day. this has been of all the weeks, during the last three years and seven months, one of the most trying, so far as it regards the trial of faith. thanks to the lord, who has helped us this day also! thanks to him for enabling us already this morning, when we met for prayer, to praise him for the deliverance, which we were sure he would work! feb. . yesterday came in from wolverhampton l. s. d. and a necklace. there was also given to me l. s. d., which had come in by sale of articles, and d. for reports. in the course of this day came in still further l. s. d. feb. . by needlework came in s. d. feb. . this morning there was now again only sufficient money in hand to take in milk at two of the houses; but as a labourer was able to give s. d., we had sufficient for the milk, and had also enough, with the provisions that were in the houses, to provide for the dinner. nothing more came in in the course of the morning, nor was i able to make inquiries how matters stood. in the afternoon between three and four o�clock, having once more besought the lord to send us help, i sat peacefully down to give myself to meditation over the word, considering that that was now my service, though i knew not whether there was a morsel of bread for tea in any one of the houses, but being assured that the lord would provide. for, through grace, my mind is so fully assured of the faithfulness of the lord, that, in the midst of the greatest need, i am enabled in peace to go about my other work. indeed, did not the lord give me this, which is the result of trusting in him, i should scarcely be able to work at all; for it is now comparatively a rare thing that a day comes, when i am not in need for one or the other part of the work. scarcely had i sat down to meditate, when a note was sent to me from the orphan-houses, in which brother r. b., master of the orphan boys, had written thus: "on visiting the sisters in the infant and girls�-orphan-houses, i found them in the greatest need. there was not bread in one of the houses for tea this evening, and the s. d. was scarcely enough to supply what was needed for the dinner. i therefore opened the box in the boys�-orphan-house, and most unexpectedly found l. in it. thus, through the kindness of the lord, we were again abundantly supplied as it regards present necessities."--in the evening the lord, in his love and faithfulness, stretched out his hand still farther. i had expounded at the meeting a part of john xi. the last words of which i spoke were: "said i not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of god?" when the meeting was over, as a fresh proof of the truth of this word, a note was given to me, in which a sick sister sent me l. for the orphans. feb. and . these two days came in s. d. feb. . saturday. our means were now again completely spent. our provision stores, were, perhaps, even more exhausted than on any previous saturday. there was not the least human likelihood of obtaining menus for sufficient provisions for this one day, and much less for two days. when i went before breakfast to the orphan-houses, i found a letter from nottingham, containing s., which had arrived last evening. this was not only a sweet proof that our father remembered our need, but it was also like an earnest that he would supply us this day also with all we required. in the course of the morning came in by sale of stockings s. d. in the box at my house i found s. one of the labourers gave s. d. thus we were provided with those things which were absolutely needed for this day. we met between eleven and twelve o�clock for prayer. when we met again in the evening, a second letter had arrived from nottingham, with another shilling. this was a further sweet proof of our father�s loving remembrance of our need; but with all this we were still without any means to provide bread for tomorrow, the lord�s day. at eight o�clock i separated from my fellow-labourers, as i expected brother r. c. to arrive a little after eight at my house. i therefore requested one of the brethren to go with me, in order to take back to the orphan-houses what the lord might send in by post or in any other way. it was now half-past eight in the evening, and there was no bread yet in any one of the three houses for tomorrow. a few moments after, brother c. arrived, and he had not been more than about five minutes in my house when he gave me half a sovereign, which he brought for the orphans. i soon found an opportunity to leave the room for a little, gave the s. to the brother whom i had brought with me from the orphan houses, and who was waiting in another room; and thus, between nine and ten o�clock, sufficient bread could be bought. observe! for the trial of our faith the lord had allowed us to be kept waiting so long. when, however, brother c. had arrived, having money for the orphans, he could not delay giving it at once, a matter most worthy of notice. this has been a week full of trials of faith, but also full of deliverances. feb. . since saturday evening came in l. s. d. there was also sent from plymouth, a piece of blond, a piece of quilling net, and eleven pairs of children�s stockings, for sale. thus we were supplied with means for that which was requisite for the beginning of this day; but as our stores had been so reduced at the end of last week, there was not enough for tea this afternoon. four o�clock had now come, one hour before the usual tea time, when a brother from somersetshire came to see the orphan-houses, and put a sovereign into each of the boxes. our great need soon brought out the money, and thus we were supplied. [observe! the brother (as he himself told me a few days after in the course of conversation), had but little time, and therefore rather hastily went over the houses. had he stayed long and conversed much, as might have been the case, his donations would not have been in time for the tea.] there came in s. besides, by needlework done by the children. feb. . this morning a parcel arrived from the neighbourhood of manchester, containing old silver thimbles, seal, gold pins, cent (an american coin), a buckle, a watch key, a broken seal, some pamphlets and sheets of hintwafers. feb. . we were again in want of means. a few of the articles which had come from manchester were disposed of, and one of the labourers was able to give enough for what remained to be supplied.--the narrative of time events of these days is most imperfect. the way in which the lord stretched out his hand day by day, and from meal to meal, cannot be accurately described. to enter fully into it, one need be a witness to his inspecting the stores, so to speak, from meal to meal, and giving us those things which we needed. feb. . yesterday the following clothes were sent: pairs of boys� trousers, boys� dresses, frocks, a spencer, pairs of children�s stays, a pair of boots, and a few other little articles. the clothes were all much worn, and in other respects not fit for the orphans; but the lord used them to supply us with the means for the dinner, as they were disposed of this morning. in the afternoon we again met for prayer. on my way to the orphan-houses, between four and five, when i knew that there would not be any bread, at least in one of the houses, for tea, i felt quite peaceful, being fully assured that for this meal also the lord would provide. on inquiry i found that there was bread enough in the girls�-orphan-house, none at all in the boys�-orphan-house, but enough in the infant-orphan-house both for the infants and boys. therefore we were at this time supplied by the bread which was not needed at the infant-orphan-house. we have thus this day also what is absolutely needful. but now there is no bread in any of the houses, nor scarcely any thing else in the way of provisions. feb. . greater than now our need had never been. our trials of faith have never been so sharp as during this week. indeed, so much so, that most of the labourers felt today considerably tried. yet neither this day has the lord suffered us to be confounded. through a remarkable circumstance one of the labourers obtained some money this morning, so that all the need of today could be amply met. in the afternoon a physician of this city kindly sent l. for the orphans, which was a sweet proof to us, when we met for prayer, that our kind father had not forgotten us. also on my way to the prayer-meeting at the orphan-houses i received s. feb. . my prayer this morning was in particular, that the lord would be pleased now to look in pity upon us, and take off his hand. indeed, for several days my prayer has been that he would enable us to continue to trust in him, and not lay more upon us than he would enable us to bear. this is now again saturday. there having been given yesterday a rich supply to the matrons, i knew that not so much as usual would be required this saturday; still i thought that l. s. would be needed. between ten and eleven o�clock this morning a parcel came from clapham, containing l. s., with frocks, petticoats, chemises, pinafores, and handkerchiefs (all new.) thus we were richly supplied for today, for only l. s. was needed. there was moreover half-a-sovereign put into the box at my house this day by a little boy, and s. d. came in by sale of articles. thus we were brought to the close of a week in which more than at any previous time the lord has been pleased to try our faith. to him most manifestly we owe it that our faith has not failed completely. feb. . yesterday q. q. gave me an order for l. as it was left to me to lay out the money as i thought well, i put l. of it to the school-fund, and l. to the orphan-fund. thus both parts of the work have been again most seasonably helped, as today the teachers in the day-schools greatly needed some money for themselves. today s. was received for the orphans. march . yesterday i found a sovereign in the orphan-box at my house; received s. / d. from three little boys, being the produce of their orphan-box; s. d. for reports; and l. s., being the profit of the sale of ladies� baskets. thus we were again supplied for yesterday and today. this evening were also sent, by order of an irish sister, / lbs. of woollen yarn. respecting this donation it is to be remarked, that last saturday we had asked the lord in our prayer-meeting, that he would be pleased to send us means to purchase worsted, in order that the boys might go on with their knitting. march . yesterday s. came in, and this evening a sovereign, when there was now again great need, there being no money in hand. march . saturday. it was not a small deliverance, that the lord sent this morning, between ten and eleven o�clock, l. s. from edinburgh, when there were no means in hand to meet this day�s necessities, nay, not even the means to procure a dinner, as only s. had come in yesterday.--evening. about eight o�clock a gentleman called on me. he said "i come at a late hour, but i trust not the less acceptable on that account. i bring you a little money for the orphans." he then gave me two sovereigns. when i requested him to give me his name, he told me, that if the giving of his name would be of any benefit he would do so, but as it would not, i might simply put down in the report "sent," for he was sure that the lord had sent him.--i believe it, for the help came most seasonably and in answer to prayer. there was likewise taken out of the box in my house half-a-sovereign. march . at a time of the greatest need, both with regard to the day-schools and the orphans, so much so that we could not have gone on any longer without help, i received this day l. from a brother who lives near dublin. the money was divided between the day-schools and the orphan-houses. the following little circumstance is to be noticed respecting this donation:--as our need was so great, and my soul was, through grace, truly waiting upon the lord, i looked out for supplies in the course of this morning. the post, however, was out, and no supplies had come. this did not in the least discourage me. i said to myself, the lord can send means without the post, or even now, though the post is out, by this very delivery of letters he may have sent means, though the money is not yet in my hands. it was not long after i had thus spoken to myself, when, according to my hope in god, we were helped; for the brother who sent us the l., had this time directed his letter to the boys�-orphan-house, whence it was sent to me. march . yesterday a box arrived from one of the northern counties, respecting which the donor had requested that neither the articles which it contained, nor the name of the place whence it came, should be mentioned in the public account. i, therefore, only state here that thus the lord has again most seasonably helped us, besides giving us a fresh proof, in raising up this new and anonymous donor, that he does not cease to care for us. it is intended to apply the produce of the articles contained in the box partly for the orphans, and partly for the other objects. though the box arrived only yesterday, we are even this day helped through means of it; for we disposed today of some of the articles to the amount of l. s. d. of this sum l. s. d. was divided among the teachers, who much needed it; and l. was taken for the orphan-fund, without which the need of this day could not have been supplied in the orphan-houses. march . from the th to the th had come in l. s. l / d. for the orphans. this morning our poverty, which now has lasted more or less for several months, had become exceedingly great. i left my house a few minutes after seven to go to the orphan-houses, to see whether there was money enough to take in the milk, which is brought about eight o�clock. on my way it was especially my request, that the lord would be pleased to pity us, even as a father pitieth his children, and that he would not lay more upon us than he would enable us to bear. i especially entreated him that he would now be pleased to refresh our hearts by sending us help. i likewise reminded him of the consequences that would result, both in reference to believers and unbelievers, if we should have to give up the work because of want of means, and that he therefore would not permit its coming to nought. i moreover again confessed before the lord that i deserved not that he should continue to use me in this work any longer. while i was thus in prayer, about two minutes� walk from the orphan-houses, i met a brother who was going at this early hour to his business. after having exchanged a few words with him, i went on; but he presently ran after me, and gave me l. for the orphans. thus the lord speedily answered my prayer. truly, it is worth being poor and greatly tried in faith, for the sake of having day by day such precious proofs of the loving interest which our kind father takes in every thing that concerns us. and how should our father do otherwise? he that has given us the greatest possible proof of his love which he could have done, in giving us his own son, surely he will with him also freely give us all things. it is worth also being poor and greatly tried in faith, if but thereby the hearts of the children of god may be comforted and their faith strengthened; and if but those who do not know god, and who may read or hear of his dealings with us, should be led thereby to see, that faith in god is more than a mere notion, and that there is indeed reality in christianity. in the course of this day there came in still further s. march . saturday. as it has often been the case on saturdays, so it was this day in particular. we began the day in very great poverty, as only s. had come in since the day before yesterday. there was not one ray of light as to natural prospects. the heart would be overwhelmed, at such seasons, were there not an abundance of repose to be found by trusting in god. the trial having continued so long, and our poverty having now come to such a degree, that it was necessary we should have help, in order that the name of the lord might not be dishonoured, i had proposed to my fellow-labourers that we should set apart this day especially for prayer. we met accordingly at half-past ten in the morning. by that time had come in s. d., s. d., and s. in the afternoon we met again at three, when s. came in. in the evening at seven we met once more, there being yet about three shillings needed, to provide all that was required. this also we received, and even s. more than was actually needed came in, just when we were about to separate. today we were also very poor with reference to our own personal necessities. in the morning we had only / d. left, when a sister in the lord, who knew nothing about our need, gave us the contents of her purse, being l. s. march . this afternoon, when we had no money at all of our own, a brother gave us s. for ourselves. march . during the last four days we received l. s. d. for the orphans. this morning, when we were now again without any thing, a parcel arrived from clapham, containing l. s., with a frock, a chemise, petticoats, pinafores, and handkerchiefs (all new). about the same time was sent a post-office order from bath for l. this is no small deliverance. the need has been so great during this week that the matrons, in order that there might be no lack in the way of provisions for the children, have been unable to order even half-a-ton of coals at once, and have been obliged to buy them in very small quantities. when again we had only d. left for our own personal necessities, i received s. march . we are helped to the close of one more week with reference to our own personal necessities. during this week we have had several times not one single penny for ourselves; yet during this week also we have had all that was needed in the way of nourishing food, etc., and we have d. left. march . from the th up to this day we were poor, with reference to the orphans but the lord helped us. this morning a brother from devonshire came to stay for a few days with me. he gave me two sovereigns for the orphans, and told me the following facts in connexion with them. last year he portioned out a piece of ground, for the benefit of the orphans. having done so, all the members of the family were gathered together, and he asked with them the lord�s blessing upon the crop that was to be planted. this prayer was often repeated afterwards, while the crop was known to belong to the orphans; and the ground yielded a good crop. the potatoes were to have been sent, but it was considered better to sell them for the benefit of the orphans, and now this brother brought the produce. these two sovereigns came in most seasonably, as they were only just in time to supply the dinner and other necessaries of this day; for when i came with the brother from the railway station to my house, i found an orphan boy waiting for money, and i had nothing in hand. this evening i received still further from a sister l. s. / d. this morning we had not one single halfpenny left for our own necessities, when two brethren arrived to stay with us for some days, the one from somersetshire and the other from the north of devon. the brother from the north of devon brought s. for my own use from barnstaple, and also gave l. to my dear wife this afternoon for our own need. thus we were again supplied. my mind has been quite in peace on account of our own need, and the only inconvenience that we had in this case was, that our dinner was about half an hour later than usual. such a thing, as far as i remember, scarcely ever occurred before, and has never occurred since; but suppose it had, it is well, in some little measure, to know from one�s own experience the meaning of that word, "i know both how to be abased, and i know how to abound: everywhere and in all things i am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." philip iv. . march . this afternoon s. came in from bath, and from a sister in the lord in one of the northern counties l. for the orphans and l. for the other objects; and through the same donor l s. this money arrived when there was again only s. in hand for the orphans, which had come in this afternoon, and when there was particular need of means, as many pairs of shoes needed to be mended, and other extra expenses were to be met. when this money came, there was also great need of fresh supplies for the day-schools, on account of which this donation was a precious help from the lord. april . we received l. s. d. for the orphans. april . when again our little stock had been exhausted, the lord was pleased to send in yesterday l. through a sister of bristol; also by sale of articles s., and by reports s. today came in from kensington l. april . as only s. more had come in yesterday, the money was now again all gone, when this evening was sent from a distance a post office order for l. april . this afternoon, when again much money was needed, we received from plymouth l., and from a donor in bristol l. april . saturday. only s. d. had come in since yesterday afternoon. we needed more money than there was in hand, especially as it was saturday, but the lord was pleased particularly to try our faith. in the course of the morning came from some sisters in dublin, yards of calico, yards of print, balls of cotton, and a pair of worn lady�s boots. this donation came most seasonably, as we had been mentioning repeatedly the need of calico and print in our prayers; and the sewing cotton and the pair of boots came at once into use. moreover, this donation was a sweet encouragement to me to continue waiting upon the lord. evening was now approaching, and no money had yet come in for provisions, etc., which would be needed on the lord�s day. about six o�clock, i gave myself once more to prayer with my wife, and requested the lord in my prayer that if the sister, who in love to him has taken upon her the service of disposing of the articles which are given for sale, had any money in hand, he would be pleased to incline her heart to bring or send the money this evening. after this i sat down peacefully to read the scriptures, being assured that this time also the lord would stretch out his hand on our behalf. about half-past seven o�clock the sister to whom reference has just now been made, came and brought l. s. d., for articles which she had sold, stating that though she was unwell, yet she felt herself constrained not to delay bringing this money. thus we had all that was needed, and s. more. when i arrived with the money at the infant-orphan-house, about eight o�clock, i found my fellow labourers in prayer, and while we still continued in prayer a sister sent a large basket of stale bread, being five brown loaves, seven bread cakes, and five french loaves. april . it is this day six years since the first children were taken in, and, as usual, we are poor this day also; for only l s. / d. has come in since saturday evening. april . we were never in greater need than today, perhaps never in so much, when i received this morning l. from the east indies. it is impossible to describe the real joy in god it gave me. my prayer had been again this morning particularly, that our father would pity us, and now at last send larger sums. i was not in the least surprised or excited when this donation came, for i took it as that which came in answer to prayer, and had been long looked for. as it was left to me to use the money as might be most needed, i took one half of it for the orphan fund, and the other half for the other funds. we have thus also an answer to our prayer for oatmeal, new shoes, and for means to enable us to have the old shoes mended, means for replenishing somewhat our stores, money for some articles of clothing for the children, and also a little money for the sisters who labour in the orphan-houses. how precious to look to the lord! i was always sure that he would at last send larger sums, therefore had my heart been kept in peace, though my faith had never been more tried than during the last months. april . there was half-a-sovereign taken out of the box at the boys�-orphan-house this morning. this afternoon three individuals called on me. one of them gave l., collars, and veils, and brought likewise gold rings. another of them gave me s. d. after they had left i found in my room on the mantelpiece in a paper sovereigns for my own personal expenses, and in three papers sovereigns for the three orphan-houses, and also a fourpenny piece on the floor. april . as since the th only little more than l. had come in, there was again this day not quite enough in hand to supply all that was needed. however, the lord sent from clapham a parcel which contained s., frocks, pinafores, handkerchiefs, nightcaps, and pieces of list. may . today was given by a brother a gold watch with a small gold chain and key. the gift was accompanied by the following note to me: "beloved brother, "a pilgrim does not want such a watch as this to make him happy; one of an inferior kind will do to show him how swiftly his time flies, and how fast he is hastening on to that canaan where time will be no more: so that it is for you to do with this what seemeth good to you. it is the last relic of earthly vanity, and, while i am in the body, may i be kept from all idolatry. "your affectionate brother, *****" may . there was now again no money in hand, not even the few shillings which were required to take in the milk tomorrow morning, when a sister gave a sovereign to brother r. b. for the orphans, whereby we are helped. may . only l. s. / d. had been received since the nd, on which account there would have been only enough means in hand to provide for the breakfast tomorrow morning, when in this our fresh need l. was sent by the same brother who has been spoken of under "june , ," in the details respecting the other funds; and also l. from great malvern. the half of this l. was put to the orphan fund, and the other half to the other funds: the donation from great malvern was put to the fund for the other objects. there arrived at the same time from the east indies by post a small parcel, containing pairs of gold ear-rings, a brooch, and rupees. these donations came especially in season, as they enable me to give supplies to the brethren and sisters who labour in the day schools and orphan-houses for their own personal necessities, besides meeting the wants in other respects. may . l. l s. d. more has come in since the th. today, in closing the accounts, we have left at the end of this period of seventeen months, in which we have been so often penniless, the sum of l. s. / d. for the orphans, and l. s. / d. for the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. the time now seemed to us to have come, when, for the profit of the church at large, the lord�s dealings with us, with reference to the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, should be made known by publishing another report. for, whilst we, on purpose, had delayed it at this time five months longer than during the previous years, and that during a period when we were in deeper poverty than during any previous time; yet, as from the commencement it had appeared to me important, from time to time to make known the lord�s dealings with us, so i judged it profitable still, to seek to comfort, to encourage, to exhort, to instruct, and to warn the dear children of god by the printed accounts of the lord�s goodness to us. the following are a few additional remarks with reference to the period of the seventeen months previous to may , . . though our trials of faith during these seventeen months lasted longer, and were sharper than during any previous period, yet during all this time the orphans had every thing that was needful in the way of nourishing food, the necessary articles of clothing, etc. indeed i should rather at once send the children back to their relations than keep them without sufficient maintenance. . i desire that all the children of god who may read these details may thereby be led to increased and more simple confidence in god for every thing which they may need under any circumstances, and that these many answers to prayer may encourage them to pray, particularly as it regards the conversion of their friends and relations, their own progress in grace and knowledge, the state of the saints whom they may know personally, the state of the church of christ at large, and the success of the preaching of the gospel. especially i affectionately warn them against being led away by the device of satan, to think that these things are peculiar to me, and cannot be enjoyed by all the children of god; for though, as has been stated before, every believer is not called upon to establish orphan-houses, charity schools, etc., and trust in the lord for means, yet all believers are called upon, in the simple confidence of faith, to cast all their burdens upon him, to trust in him for every thing, and not only to make every thing a subject of prayer, but to expect answers to their petitions which they have asked according to his will, and in the name of the lord jesus.--think not, dear reader, that i have the gift of faith, that is, that gift of which we read in cor. xii. , and which is mentioned along with "the gifts of healing," "the working of miracles," "prophecy," and that on that account i am able to trust in the lord. it is true that the faith, which i am enabled to exercise, is altogether god�s own gift; it is true that he alone supports it, and that he alone can increase it; it is true that, moment by moment, i depend upon him for it, and that, if i were only one moment left to myself, my faith would utterly fail; but it is not true that my faith is that gift of faith which is spoken of in cor. xii. , for the following reasons. , the faith which i am enabled to exercise with reference to the orphan-houses and my own temporal necessities, is not that "faith" of which it is said in cor. xiii. (evidently in allusion to the faith spoken of in cor. xii. ), "though i have all faith, so that i could remove mountains, and have not charity (love), i am nothing"; but it is the self-same faith which is found in every believer, and the growth of which i am most sensible of to myself; for, by little and little, it has been increasing for the last fifty-six years. , this faith which is exercised respecting the orphan-houses and my own temporal necessities, shows itself in the same measure, for instance, concerning the following points: i have never been permitted to doubt during the last fifty-six years that my sins are forgiven, that i am a child of god, that i am beloved of god, and that i shall be finally saved; because i am enabled, by the grace of god, to exercise faith upon the word of god, and believe what god says in those passages which settle these matters ( john v. -gal. iii. -acts x. -romans x. , -john iii. , etc.)--further, at the time when i thought i should be insane (though there was not the least ground for thinking so), as recorded on pages , , and , i was in peace, quite in peace; because my soul believed the truth of that word, "we know that all things work together for good to them that love god." rom. viii. .--further, when my brother in the flesh, and my dear aged father died, and when concerning both of them i had no evidence whatever that they were saved (though i dare not say that they are lost, for i know it not); yet my soul was at peace, perfectly at peace, under this great trial, this exceedingly great trial, this trial which is one of the greatest perhaps which can befall a believer. and what was it that gave me peace? my soul laid hold on that word, "shall not the judge of all the earth do right!" this word, together with the whole character of god, as he has revealed himself in his holy word, settled all questionings. i believed what he has said concerning himself, and i was at peace, and have been at peace ever since, concerning this matter.--further, when the lord took from me a beloved infant, my soul was at peace, perfectly at peace; i could only weep tears of joy when i did weep. and why? because my soul laid hold in faith on that word: "of such is the kingdom of heaven." matthew xix. . believing, therefore, as i did, upon the ground of this word, my soul rejoiced, instead of mourning, that my beloved infant was far happier with the lord, than with me.--further, when sometimes all has been dark, exceedingly dark, with reference to my service among the saints, judging from natural appearances yea, when i should have been overwhelmed indeed in grief and despair, had i looked at things after the outward appearance: at such times i have sought to encourage myself in god, by laying hold in faith on his mighty power, his unchangeable love, and his infinite wisdom, and i have said to myself: god is able and willing to deliver me, if it be good for me; for it is written: "he that spared not his own son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" rom. viii. . this, this it was which, being believed by me through grace, kept my soul in peace.--further, when in connection with the orphan-houses, day schools, etc., trials have come upon me which were far heavier than the want of means, when lying reports were spread that the orphans had not enough to eat, or that they were cruelly treated in other respects, and the like; or when other trials, still greater, but which i cannot mention, have befallen me in connexion with this work, and that at a time when i was nearly a thousand miles absent from bristol, and had to remain absent week after week: at such times my soul was stayed upon god; i believed his word of promise which was applicable to such cases; i poured out my soul before god, and arose from my knees in peace, because the trouble that was in the soul was in believing prayer cast upon god, and thus i was kept in peace, though i saw it to be the will of god to remain far away from the work. --further, when i needed houses, fellow-labourers, masters and mistresses for the orphans or for the day schools, i have been enabled to look for all to the lord, and trust in him for help.--dear reader, i may seem to boast; but, by the grace of god, i do not boast in thus speaking. from my inmost soul i do ascribe it to god alone that he has enabled me to trust in him, and that hitherto he has not suffered my confidence in him to fail. but i thought it needful to make these remarks, lest any one should think that my depending upon god was a particular gift given to me, which other saints have no right to look for; or lest it should be thought that this my depending upon him had only to do with the obtaining of money by prayer and faith. by the grace of god i desire that my faith in god should extend towards every thing, the smallest of my own temporal and spiritual concerns, and the smallest of the temporal and spiritual concerns of my family, towards the saints among whom i labour, the church at large, everything that has to do with the temporal and spiritual prosperity of the scriptural knowledge institution, etc. dear reader, do not think that i have attained in faith (and how much less in other respects!) to that degree to which i might and ought to attain; but thank god for the faith which he has given me, and ask him to uphold and increase it. and lastly, once more, let not satan deceive you in making you think that you could not have the same faith, but that it is only for persons who are situated as i am. when i lose such a thing as a key, i ask the lord to direct me to it, and i look for an answer to my prayer; when a person with whom i have made an appointment does not come, according to the fixed time, and i begin to be inconvenienced by it, i ask the lord to be pleased to hasten him to me, and i look for an answer; when i do not understand a passage of the word of god, i lift up my heart to the lord, that he would be pleased, by his holy spirit, to instruct me, and i expect to be taught, though i do not fix the time when, and the manner how it should be; when i am going to minister in the word, i seek help from the lord, and while i in the consciousness of natural inability as well as utter unworthiness, begin this his service, i am not cast down, but of good cheer, because i look for his assistance, and believe that he, for his dear son�s sake, will help me. and thus in other of my temporal and spiritual concerns i pray to the lord, and expect an answer to my requests; and may not you do the same, dear believing reader? oh! i beseech you, do not think me an extraordinary believer, having privileges above other of god�s dear children, which they cannot have; nor look on my way of acting as something that would not do for other believers. make but trial! do but stand still in the hour of trial, and you will see the help of god, if you trust in him. but there is so often a forsaking the ways of the lord in the hour of trial, and thus the food of faith, the means whereby our faith may be increased, is lost. this leads me to the following important point. you ask, how may i, a true believer, have my faith strengthened? the answer is this i. "every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." james i. . as the increase of faith is a good gift, it must come from god, and therefore he ought to be asked for this blessing. ii. the following means, however, ought to be used: , the careful reading of the word of god, combined with meditation on it. through reading of the word of god, and especially through meditation on the word of god, the believer becomes more and more acquainted with the nature and character of god, and thus sees more and more, besides his holiness and justice, what a kind, loving, gracious, merciful, mighty, wise, and faithful being he is, and, therefore, in poverty, affliction of body, bereavement in his family, difficulty in his service, want of a situation or employment, he will repose upon the ability of god to help him, because he has not only learned from his word that he is of almighty power and infinite wisdom, but he has also seen instance upon instance in the holy scriptures in which his almighty power and infinite wisdom have been actually exercised in helping and delivering his people; and he will repose upon the willingness of god to help him, because he has not only learned from the scriptures what a kind, good, merciful, gracious, and faithful being god is, but because he has also seen in the word of god, how in a great variety of instances he has proved himself to be so. and the consideration of this, if god has become known to us through prayer and meditation on his own word, will lead us, in general at least, with a measure of confidence to rely upon him: and thus the reading of the word of god, together with meditation on it, will be one especial means to strengthen our faith. , as with reference to the growth of every grace of the spirit, it is of the utmost importance that we seek to maintain an upright heart and a good conscience, and, therefore, do not knowingly and habitually indulge in those things which are contrary to the mind of god, so it is also particularly the case with reference to the growth in faith. how can i possibly continue to act faith upon god, concerning any thing, if i am habitually grieving him, and seek to detract from the glory and honour of him in whom i profess to trust, upon whom i profess to depend? all my confidence towards god, all my leaning upon him in the hour of trial will be gone, if i have a guilty conscience, and do not seek to put away this guilty conscience, but still continue to do things which are contrary to the mind of god. and if, in any particular instance, i cannot trust in god, because of the guilty conscience, then my faith is weakened by that instance of distrust; for faith with every fresh trial of it either increases by trusting god, and thus getting help, or it decreases by not trusting him; and then there is less and less power of looking simply and directly to him, and a habit of self-dependence is begotten or encouraged. one or other of these will always be the case in each particular instance. either we trust in god, and in that case we neither trust in ourselves, nor in our fellowmen, nor in circumstances, nor in any thing besides; or we no trust in one or more of these, and in that case do not trust in god. , if we, indeed, desire our faith to be strengthened, we should not shrink from opportunities where our faith may be tried, and, therefore, through the trial, be strengthened. in our natural state we dislike dealing with god alone. through our natural alienation from god we shrink from him, and from eternal realities. this cleaves to us more or less, even after our regeneration. hence it is, that, more or less, even as believers, we have the same shrinking from standing with god alone,--from depending upon him alone,--from looking to him alone:--and yet this is the very position in which we ought to be, if we wish our faith to be strengthened. the more i am in a position to be tried in faith with reference to my body, my family, my service for the lord, my business, etc., the more shall i have opportunity of seeing god�s help and deliverance; and every fresh instance, in which he helps and delivers me, will tend towards the increase of my faith. on this account, therefore, the believer should not shrink from situations, positions, circumstances, in which his faith may be tried; but should cheerfully embrace them as opportunities where he may see the hand of god stretched out on his behalf, to help and deliver him, and whereby he may thus have his faith strengthened. , the last important point for the strengthening of our faith is, that we let god work for us, when the hour of the trial of oar faith comes, and do not work a deliverance of our own. wherever god has given faith, it is given, among other reasons, for the very purpose of being tried. yea, however weak our faith may be, god will try it; only with this restriction, that as, in every way, he leads on gently, gradually, patiently, so also with reference to the trial of our faith. at first our faith will be tried very little in comparison with what it may be afterwards; for god never lays more upon us than he is willing to enable us to bear. now when the trial of faith comes, we are naturally inclined to distrust god, and to trust rather in ourselves, or in our friends, or in circumstances. we will rather work a deliverance of our own somehow or other, than simply look to god and wait for his help. but if we do not patiently wait for god�s help, if we work a deliverance of our own, then at the next trial of our faith it will be thus again, we shall be again inclined to deliver ourselves; and thus with every fresh instance of that kind, our faith will decrease; whilst, on the contrary, were we to stand still in order to see the salvation of god, to see his hand stretched out on our behalf, trusting in him alone, then our faith would be increased, and with every fresh case in which the hand of god is stretched out on our behalf in the hour of the trial of our faith, our faith would be increased yet more. would the believer, therefore, have his faith strengthened, he must especially, give time to god, who tries his faith in order to prove to his child, in the end, how willing he is to help and deliver him, the moment it is good for him. i now return, dear reader, to the narrative, giving you some further information with reference to the months, from december , , to may , , as it respects the orphan-houses, and other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, besides the facts of which mention has been already made. during this period also-- , two sunday schools were entirely supported by the funds of the institution. , there were two adult schools, one for females, and one for males, entirely supported during these months, in which on two evenings of the week the males, and on two evenings the females were instructed, quite gratuitously, in reading and writing, and were furnished with books and writing materials gratuitously. there were, during these months, adults taught in these two schools, and on may , , the number under instruction amounted to . the chief object of these adult schools is, to teach grown up persons to read, in order that they may themselves be able to read the holy scriptures; but, at the same time, those who teach them take opportunity to point out the way of salvation to them, and, while the word of god is read, they seek to make remarks on the portions which are read.-- , there were, during these months, also six day schools entirely supported by the funds of the institution, three for boys and three for girls. these schools are principally intended to enable persons of the poorer classes of the inhabitants of bristol, to send their children to school, either entirely free, or on paying only the fifth or sixth part of the expenses connected with the instruction which the children receive; they are also, especially, intended to keep believing parents, who have not much means, from the necessity of sending their children to unbelievers for instruction. on may , , the number of the children, who attended these day schools, was ; and the total number, who from the formation of the institution on. march , , up to may , , had been instructed in the day schools, which are supported by the funds of the institution, amounts to .-- , during these months, copies of the holy scriptures were circulated, and from the commencement of the institution, up to may , , , copies. , during these months was spent for missionary purposes, the sum of l. s. d. of the funds of the institution, whereby assistance was rendered to the work of god in jamaica, in australia, in canada, and in the east indies. , at the commencement of these months, i.e. on december , , a new object was begun., the circulation of such publications as may be instrumental, with the blessing of god, to benefit both unbelievers and believers. we laid out for this object, during these months, from december , , to may , , the sum of l. s. d., for which twenty-two thousand one hundred and ninety such little publications were purchased, and of which number nineteen thousand six hundred and nine were actually given away.-- , there were received into the three orphan-houses, from dec. , , to may , , orphans, who, together with those who were in the houses on dec. , , make up in all. of these, five girls were sent out to service, two boys and one girl were apprenticed, one girl was removed by a lady who had placed her for a time under our care, and one was sent back to his relations, as he was injurious to the other children. there were on may , , orphans in the three houses, i.e. in the girls�-orphan-house, in the infant-orphan-house, and in the boys-orphan-house. besides this, three apprentices were supported by the funds of the institution, so that the total number was . the number of orphans who were under our care from april, , to may , , amounts to . i notice further the following points in connexion with the orphan-houses. without any one having been asked for any thing by me, the sum of , l. s. d. was given to me from the beginning of the work up to may , , as the result of prayer to god. besides this, also, many articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, &c.--during these months we had very little sickness in the three houses, and not one of the children died. i desire publicly to state this, and in it to acknowledge the hand of god. the total of the expenditure for the various objects of the institution, exclusive of the orphan-houses, during these months, amounted to l. s. d.; the total of the income amounted to l. s. / d. the total of the expenditure for the three orphan-houses, from december , , to may , , amounted to , l. s. / d.; the total of the income amounted to , l. s. d. may , . when the accounts were closed last evening, the balance in hand for the orphans was l. s. / d., though the actual amount for use at present is only l. s. / d. as l. s. is put by for the rent.--with this l. s. / d. therefore we had to begin again the work, whilst there were persons to be provided for with all they required. from may to may , we were always so provided for by the lord, that we received fresh donations before the last money was spent, for there came in l. s. / d.; but now we should not have had sufficient for the need of tomorrow, may th, when today there arrived a parcel from kendal, containing frocks, tippets, pinafores, chemises, shirts, aprons, and the following donations in money: with ps. xxvii., s.; proverbs iii. , , s. d.; from a sister who earns her own, bread by her daily exertions, s.; from another individual s. there came in also by sale of articles, given for that purpose, l. s. may . there came in still further today l. s. d., so that we are richly provided, with all we need, and have more than enough. june . for several days past i had not been particularly led to pray for means for the orphans. last evening, however, i did so, as we had now again no money in hand, there having come in only l. s. d. during the last five days; and in answer to my request l. s. d. came in this morning. june . monday. there was now no money at all in hand. i had therefore asked the lord for fresh supplies, and since saturday afternoon the following sums have come in: by sale of articles l. s., from an aged servant, ill in a mortal disease, l.; anonymously put into the boxes at bethesda yesterday, in a small parcel, s., a gold ring, small spanish silver coins, and a small american silver coin; ditto d.; by a sister was given d., and by another sister s.; anonymously put into the box at callow-hill street chapel s. this morning i received from a. b. l., to be laid out as it might be most useful. i took the whole of this sum for the other objects, as the disposal of it was left to me, whereby i am enabled to order a fresh supply of tracts, some bibles and testaments, and to give something to the brethren and sisters who labour in the day schools, who are much in need of some supply. the stock of bibles, as far as i remember, has never been smaller than it is now, for several years; there is likewise only a small quantity of tracts left, and the demand for them is great on the part of brethren who gratuitously circulate them. how kind therefore of the lord to give us this supply! if our work be his work, he is sure to provide the means for it! june . on the th came in s. for the orphans,--on the th l. s. d. today was sent anonymously from bath l., with the words "jehovah jireh." these words are very appropriate; for the money came after i had asked the lord for some, and is required for our need tomorrow. june . saturday afternoon. as only s. d. had come in since the th for the orphans, there remains no money in hand for monday.--saturday evening. the lord has already sent a little towards the need of next week, as an earnest, that during the coming week also he will be mindful of us for this evening came in by sale of articles, l. s. d., and a little boy gave s. / d. june . there came in further today s. d.; anonymously s.; ditto l.; and with ecclesiastes ix. , was given. s. june . as since the th only l. s. d. had come in, there was now again no money in hand for the need of to-morrow. i gave myself therefore to prayer. immediately after i had risen from my knees, i was told that some money had been put into the box at my house. i opened the box, and found it to be a sovereign. june . the sovereign which yesterday had been put into the box at my house was not enough. on my morning walk i asked the lord, therefore, for more means, and when i came home i found that l. s. had been sent for articles given for sale, there came in still further by sale of articles, l. s. d., and by a donation from leeds, l. s. d. june . l. s. d. came in today. june . having had to meet the expenses of the funeral of a dear orphan boy, who, after having been two years in fellowship with the saints, and walked consistently, had fallen asleep, all means were now again gone, when an irish lady sent this morning l., of which l. is to be used for the orphans, and l. for my own personal necessities. thus we are again supplied for the-present. june . as, besides the l. which came in on the th, only l. s. / d. had been received since, there was now not sufficient in hand for the expenses of the day; but the lord, as usual, made it manifest, that he is mindful of our need, and that he hears our prayers. for there was sent today from clapham a parcel, containing a frock, a pinafore, and s. d. also, through the same donors, in the same parcel, were sent from brighton, frocks, pinafores, handkerchiefs, chemises, petticoats, and s. likewise a christian lady sent a sovereign; and s. d. came in by sale of reports, and l. s. / d. by sale of articles. thus we were abundantly supplied for the need of today. july . all our money was again spent, as only l. l s. d. had come in since the th, when last evening an orphan arrived from barnstaple, with whom there was sent l. s. d. the lord has repeatedly ordered it so, that when orphans have been brought, money has been sent with them, whereby our present necessities have been supplied.--i add here, that we do not require any money to be sent with them, nor is there any interest required to get the children admitted, and much less is the institution of a sectarian spirit, so that only persons of certain religious views could succeed in making application for the admission of orphans; but without respect of persons, from all parts of the kingdom, so long as there is room, needy children, bereaved of both parents, may be admitted.--i received today still further l. and likewise, by six other donations, came in l. s. d. we are now again for a few days supplied. july , on july nd came in s.; on the rd l. s. d.; on the th l. s.; on the th came in four donations from hackney, amounting to l. s.; a donation of l. from plymouth; a donation of s. from a brother in bristol; by sale of reports s. d.; anonymously was sent from fairford l.; a christian lady gave l., and the following articles were sent from tottenham: a two-guinea piece, a quarter-guinea piece, a half doubloon, (a portuguese gold coin), a gold coin of james i., and two gold chains. likewise this evening came in with ecclesiastes ix. , l. s. d., and s. d. by sale of stockings. by the donations of yesterday and today i am enabled to meet many needful expenses, such as ordering oatmeal from scotland, buying peas, rice, scotch barley, materials for boys� clothes, &c. july . on july , , , had only come in l. s., so that now today, saturday, after i had supplied the matrons with what they needed for today and for tomorrow, all the money was again spent; yet we had been, by the good hand of the lord, brought through another week, and nothing, that had been needed during the week, had been lacking. july . monday. yesterday and today came in l. s. d. this money was quite enough for the need of today; and when now again, after this day�s need had been met, scarcely any thing was left, the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, which contained l. s. / d. july . s. d. came in today. july . when our purse was now again empty, the lord kindly sent l. this morning from glasgow. from july th to th the lord sent in l. s. d., and on july th i left bristol for a season, being able, through grace, to leave the work in his hands, and feeling assured, that he would provide while i was absent from bristol; and truly the lord did not suffer me to be disappointed. for during the time of my absence, from july th to sept. th, whilst i was labouring at barnstaple, and in the neighbourhood of bideford, the lord richly furnished us with means, though twice during that period we were quite poor. from july th to aug. th had come in, during my absence, l. s. / d.; but now on wednesday, aug. th, all the money, except one penny, was spent in the three orphan-houses. between and o�clock in the evening brother m. brought l. to the boys�-orphan-house. l. of this he had received from q. q., l. with ecclesiastes ix. , and l. from a sister who had received this money from weymouth. when the latter told brother m. that the money might be applied as most needed, he replied to her, that he would give it to the orphans, as he believed them to be in need. when brother m. brought the money, he said, that when in prayer in the morning for the orphans, who had been particularly laid on his heart, he felt assured, that we were in need. thus this brother not knowing any thing about our circumstances, was led by god to help us with his intercessions. the whole sum which came in from the th to the th was l. s. d. on the th of august there was now again need of a fresh manifestation of the loving care of our heavenly father, as on the coming day, being a saturday, much was needed, and there were only a few pence in hand. and truly, the lord did appear on our behalf; for this evening came in l. with eccles. ix. .--behold, you who do not know the lord, what a precious thing it is, even for this life, to walk with god! behold also you, dear brethren, who tremble to lean fully and solely upon. him, that those who trust in him, according to his word, shall not be confounded! from aug. th to sept. th came in l. s. / d. besides the l. s. d. which had come in, in money, during my absence, many articles of clothes, books, provisions, &c. were given for the benefit of the orphans; but especially a great quantity of trinkets was sent, to be disposed of for the benefit of the orphans. when i had all these precious spoils before me, which the power of the love of jesus had won, i found there were no less in my possession than brooches, gold clasps, a pair of gold bracelets, gold rings, a silver gilt vinaigrette, pairs of gold earrings, gold crosses, a gold chain, a gold thimble, gold seals, a gold watch key, a gold watch, lockets, watch hooks, ornamental ladies� combs, ornamental gold hair pins, silver cups, above necklaces, and many other ornaments; also above old silver coins. i cannot describe how great the joy is, which i have, when i see the lord jesus, by means of this institution, bringing forth one needless article after the other, to be disposed of for the benefit of the orphans. from sept. th to th the lord supplied our need richly. there came in altogether during these days l. s. d, though so large a sum had come in, in so short a time, yet as our expenses also had been great, there was again this day, sept. th, not enough to meet this day�s need, when, a few minutes before i was called on for money, l. s. was sent from birmingham. sept. . there came in by knitting s. d., and by two donations s. d. with these words: "j. w. from the lord" s., and "from the lord" s. d. sept. . there was again only s. / d. left towards the necessities of today, when yesterday afternoon a donor left at my house a good silver watch, which, being disposed of for l., supplies us not only for today, but leaves something towards the need of tomorrow. oct . yesterday afternoon. l. came in from kensington, and this morning by sale of articles s. d., and s. was put into the box at my house. thus we had, with what was left, something towards the necessities of this day, but not enough, as this is saturday. as the lord, however, had given me both yesterday and this morning prayer and faith with reference to the need, i was looking out for help, when at half past ten this morning a small parcel was anonymously left at my house, which contained a l. note, a gold chain, and an old s. piece, to be used for the orphans. the lord be praised who disposed the heart of the unknown donor at so seasonable an hour to send this donation! half an hour, after i had received the little parcel, i was called upon for money, and was thus able to supply the need of today, and have something left towards the beginning of the week.--there came in still further today l. s.; for this afternoon a sister in the lord sent two half sovereigns, which had been sent to her by two donors in wales, and which she would not delay sending at once, "as it was saturday." in the evening about eight o�clock an individual residing in the parish of st. philip, bristol, brought a sovereign for the orphans, and after eight o�clock l. s. came in by the sale of articles: so that, whilst the day commenced, without there being enough to meet its expenses, we received several pounds more than was needed. oct. . as since oct. there had come in by sale of the gold chain, the old s. piece, and donations, only the sum of l. s. d., there was (after i had sent yesterday morning the money which was requisite for the day), again only s. / d. left, towards the need of today, being saturday. but the lord, in whom i had particularly again made my boast this morning before four german musicians, was mindful of our need; for, besides half a sovereign coming in from hereford, the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, in which there was found l. s. d. thus we have already in the morning the greater part of what is needed for today, waiting upon the lord for the rest.--evening. this evening came in still further l. s. d., so that we have all that is needed for today. oct. . yesterday were put into the chapel boxes three papers, one with eccles. ix. , containing l., and two containing s. each. there came in also this morning by the knitting of the orphan boys s. d. thus we have, with a little that was left on saturday, all that is required for today, and s. d. over. oct. . the lord has again kindly multiplied the s. d., which was left after the necessities of yesterday were met. a brother in the lord from bath called yesterday at one of the orphan-houses and gave l. as a donation, besides s. d. for reports. also by a clergyman near cirencester was sent s., and this morning came a post office order for s. from crediton, and d, was given by a sister in bristol. my dear reader, pause and admire the hand of the lord! day after day he helps us! his help never fails, nor is it ever too late! we may be poor, very poor; but when the help is really needed, the lord opens his bountiful hand and supplies our need! the help may come in a variety of ways, but it is certain! it may be that he allows us to wait long on him, and pray very often, whilst he appears not to be mindful of us; yet in the end, in his own appointed and best time, the help comes. dear reader, if you know the lord, and you have not a similar experience, be it known to you, that you may have the same in your sphere of labour or service, though you may not be called by the lord to establish orphan-houses, or day schools, or adult schools, or sunday schools, or circulate bibles and tracts in an extensive way. make but trial of this way, and you will see how truly precious it is to wait upon the lord for every thing, even for the bread which perishes. should you, dear reader, not be reconciled with god through faith in the lord jesus, then you may know, that this precious privilege belongs to him who becomes a child of god by faith in the lord jesus, that he may come to his heavenly father for everything, and that his father delights in giving him all he can need, while here in the world. on. oct. th came in l. s., and oct. th s. oct. . saturday. yesterday arrived from gloucestershire the following letter:--oct. , . "my dear brother, as i have no doubt on my own mind, but the orphans are in present need, the enclosed l. is sent by the constraining power of the lord through me. yours affectionately, *****" the money came indeed in a time of need; for though we had about enough for yesterday�s necessities, there was nothing for today�s demands, which are l. s. there came in besides, yesterday afternoon, from a brother in. bristol l., and from an individual in his employment s. thus we could meet both yesterday�s and today�s need, and are brought to the close of another week. evening. there came in still further this evening, by sale of articles l. s. d., from ledbury s., and from two sisters in. bristol s. thus we have something towards the need of another week. oct. . wednesday. as only l. s. had come in since saturday evening, there was now again not sufficient money in hand for the need of today. i therefore opened an orphan box in my house, in which i found two sovereigns. the lord was pleased to send still further, in the course of the day, from the neighbourhood of droitwich, s.; by profit from the sale of ladies� bags, made by a sister for the benefit of the orphans, s.; by a donation l. s.; by reports s. d.; and by another donation, from two ladies, three-pence. these ladies, sisters in the lord, had it much in their hearts to give considerable sums, and had given in former times gold chains, a brilliant, and many other valuable articles for the benefit of the orphans, besides money; but now, having no means, through particular family circumstances, they were not ashamed to offer these three-pence. i doubt not that i have their prayers, and i value them more than gold; and i know, that if they had gold for the orphans, they would give that also. the child of god ought to consider that word for his comfort: "if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted, according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not." cor. viii. . on october st came in l. s. / d. oct. . monday. the necessities of the nd, being saturday, called for all the money that was left, about l. not one farthing was then remaining in my hands. and now observe, dear reader, how the lord helped, and praise him with me, that he always causes the stream to flow again, when there is need. on the same day on which the last money was given out, the day before yesterday, there was handed over to me l. s. d. for sale of articles. yesterday i received through a sister, from an indian gentleman and lady, two sovereigns, and one from herself, being the produce of a piece of work, which she had done for the benefit of the orphans. a poor brother also gave me s. today i received the following anonymous note:--oct. , . "beloved brother, the enclosed l. was given to the lord some time since. it was received for service done according to eph. vi. ; and believing that laying up treasures for myself upon earth (having enough for my own necessities without it) would be disobedience to matthew vi. , i put it into your hands. you will kindly dispose of it as the lord may direct you. yours in the lord jesus. you will oblige me by receiving l. of the enclosed for your own need, or that of your family." this money came indeed most seasonably; for though, by the donations of yesterday, today�s need had been supplied, nevertheless as about yards of flannel and materials for the boys� clothes are needed, and as many other expenses require to be met, besides the regular daily expenses; we are thus in some measure provided. half of this money i took for the orphans and half for the other objects, as they also were in great need. there was likewise yesterday put anonymously into the boxes at bethesda s. and l. still further came in, through the boxes in the orphan-houses, s. / d., from a poor widow s. d., from another individual l., in eight donations through a brother s. d., and a box of worn clothes. oct. . the need of today is l. s. we should not have had enough, humanly speaking, had there not been sent yesterday afternoon l. from hull, as on the th and th only l. s. d. had come in.; so that there was only l. s. / d. in hand, when this l. came. there came in still further today l. s. d. how kindly does the lord, as it were, day by day inspect our stores! he, in general, does not supply our need for many months at once; in order both that he himself may often have the joy of our calling upon him for the supplies we need; and that he may give unto us the joy of obtaining our supplies day by day in answer to prayer; and that thus also other children of god might be encouraged, to wait upon him for all they may need. on oct. was given s. nov. . there would have been again nothing in hand, for the need of this day, had not the lord kindly sent in yesterday afternoon three donations of l., l., and s. besides this there came in by sale of stockings s. d. nov. . after the demands of yesterday had been met, there remained only s. / d. in hand, i therefore again besought the lord, that he would be pleased to send in fresh supplies. accordingly, about one o�clock, a brother left a note at my house, containing a cheque for l., of which l. was for the orphans, l. for the other objects, and l. for my own necessities. between two and three o�clock i met another brother in my walk in redland fields, who gave me a sovereign for the orphans; and at four o�clock a sister sent a sovereign for the orphans. thus our need for today is supplied and something left. nov. . monday. since the afternoon of the nd i received l. s. d. after the necessities of saturday, the th, had been supplied, amounting to between l. and l., there was once more nothing at all left in my hands, which led me afresh to the lord in prayer. on the same evening i received, as the answer to my prayers, from a sister s., and by sale of articles l. l s. d., and this morning there came in still further, by several donations, l. s. / d. nov. . again all our money was spent after the expenses of today had been met, when this evening there came in l. s. by sale of articles, s. d. by sale of reports, and d. as a donation. a parcel was also given to me this evening, sent by two sisters in the lord, in bath, containing the following articles: gold rings, a locket, a gold seal, brooches, a pair of ear-rings, a gold pin, a small telescope, an ornamental comb, pairs of clasps, head brooches, some ornaments of mock pearls, necklaces, bracelets, waist buckles, and a few other articles. nov. , yesterday came in from w. d. b. l. s., from a sister s., and through an orphan box s. this l. s. was all there was in hand, and with out it we should not have been able to provide for the need of today. nov. . after the need of yesterday had been provided for, and i now again had nothing in hand, i received for reports s., and from a believing clergyman l.--when, this morning, after i had been asking the lord for means, the post brought none, i fell again on my knees, further beseeching him to supply me with fresh means, as for several days little had come in. i especially also told him, that, though the post was now out, yet he could in various ways send help. it was only a few minutes after, when brother c. b. brought me l. s. which just then had been given to him for the orphans. about an hour afterwards two brethren called on me, the one from wiltshire, the other from essex, who stayed with me some time, and on leaving gave me l. s. for the orphans. in the evening i saw still further that the lord had not only not disregarded my prayers in the morning, but also that he was not confined to sending means by the post. a sister called on me, and brought me, for several purposes, twelve sovereigns, of which six are to be applied for the benefit of the orphans. this was not all. a brother brought me silver forks and a silver butter knife, the produce of which i might use as most needed. this also, therefore, might have been applied for the orphans, but i put it to the funds for the other objects as being more in need. in the evening was still further given to me with eccles. ix. , s., and as the profit from the sale of ladies� baskets, l.; so that a rich supply has been received this day from the hand of our loving father. nov. . when we were now again in very great need on account of means for the other objects, there came in this day from a sister in the lord, a servant in dorsetshire, l., which sum being left at my disposal, to use in any way i thought best, i took it for the school-bible-missionary and tract-fund. nov. . saturday. only l. s. / d. had come in since the th for the orphans. the day began without any thing in hand. in the course of the morning came in by sale of stockings, s. d., and through the box at the boys�-orphan-house d. at two o�clock in the afternoon a believing clergyman sent to two of the labourers in the work sovereigns, of which the one was able to give half the sovereign, and the other the whole sovereign. by this means we were supplied with what was needed today. nov. . monday. yesterday came in from cheltenham s.; with eccles. ix. , s.; anonymously was left at the girls�-orphan-house a paper, containing the letters e.v. with a crown piece; and anonymously was put into the boxes at bethesda s. there was sent also from bath, a coral necklace and a gold necklace clasp. by these donations we were supplied today. nov. . this morning i took a shilling out of an orphan-box at my house, which was all we had wherewith to commence the day. just at the moment when the letter bag was sent to me from the orphan-houses, with the statement of what would be required for this day, i received a post-office order from barnstaple for l. thus the lord, in his faithful love, has sent a little, for which i had been waiting upon him. through his grace my heart is looking out for more, for i am sure he will never forsake us. nov. . nothing at all has come in since yesterday. but as one of the labourers was able to give s., we were supplied with bread and a few other little things, which were needed. dec. . nothing had come in, except s. for needlework of the orphans. the labourers had nothing to give of their own, except one of them s. d.; yet this little supplied the absolute need, which was only milk. we were unable to take in the usual quantity of bread. (the bread is eaten by the children on the third day after it is baked. if we are unable to take in the usual daily quantity of bread, for want of means, we afterwards seek to procure stale bread.) should it be said that the not taking in the usual quantity of bread would at once prove to the bakers that we are poor; my reply is, that that does not follow, because bread has often been sent as a present, as may be seen in the list of articles, given for the orphans, at the end of the printed reports. but perhaps it may be stated: why do you not take the bread on credit? what does it matter, whether you pay immediately for it, or at the end of the month, or the quarter, or the half-year? seeing that the orphan-houses are the work of the lord, may you not trust in him, that he will supply you with means, to pay the bills which you contract with the butcher, baker, grocer, &c., as the things which you purchase are needful? my reply is this: , if the work in which we are engaged is indeed the work of god, then he, whose work it is, is surely able and willing to provide the means for it. , but not only so, he will also provide the means at the time when they are needed. i do not mean that he will provide them, when we think that they are needed; but yet, that, when there is real need, such as the necessaries of life being required, he will give them; and on the same ground on which we suppose we do trust in god to help us to pay the debt which we now contract, we may and ought to trust in the lord to supply us with what we require at present, so that there may be no need for going in debt. , it is true, i might have goods on credit, and to a very considerable amount; but, then, the result would be, that the next time we were again in straits, the mind would involuntarily be turned to further credit which i might have, instead of being turned to the lord, and thus faith, which is kept up and strengthened only by being exercised, would become weaker and weaker, till at last, according to all human probability, i should find myself deeply in debt, and have no prospect of getting out of it. , faith has to do with the word of god,--rests upon the written word of god; but there is no promise that he will pay our debts,--the word says rather: "owe no man any thing;" whilst there is the promise given to his children.: "i will never leave thee, nor forsake thee," and "whosoever believeth on. him shall not be confounded." on this account we could not say upon the ground of the holy scriptures: why do you not trust in god that he will supply you with means to pay your debts, which you contract in his service for the necessaries of the orphans? , the last reason why we do not take goods on credit is this: the chief and primary object of the work was not the temporal welfare of the children, nor even their spiritual welfare (blessed and glorious as it is, and much as, through grace, we seek after it and pray for it); but the first and primary object of the work was: to show before the whole world and the whole church of christ, that even in these last evil days the living god is ready to prove himself as the living god, by being ever willing to help, succour, comfort, and answer the prayers of those who trust in him: so that we need not go away from him to our fellow-men, or to the ways of the world, seeing that he is both able and willing to supply us with all we can need in his service. from the beginning, when god put this service into my heart, i had anticipated trials and straits; but knowing, as i did, the heart of god, through the experience of several years previously, i also knew that he would listen to the prayers of his child who trusts in him, and that he would not leave him in the hour of need, but listen to his prayers, and deliver him out of the difficulty, and that then, this being made known in print for the benefit of both believers and unbelievers, others would be led to trust in the lord. thus it has now been for more than nine years (i.e. in. , when the third part was first published). these accounts have been greatly owned by the lord. we discern, therefore, more and more clearly, that it is for the church�s benefit that we are put into these straits; and if, therefore, in the hour of need, we were to take goods on credit, the first and primary object of the work would be completely frustrated, and no heart would be further strengthened to trust in god, nor would there be any longer that manifestation of the special and particular providence of god, which has hitherto been so abundantly shown through this work, even in the eyes of unbelievers, whereby they have been led to see that there is, after all, reality in the things of god, and many, through these printed accounts, have been truly converted. for these reasons, then, we consider it our precious privilege, as heretofore, to continue to wait upon the lord only, instead of taking goods on credit, or borrowing money from some kind friends, when we are in need. nay, we purpose, as god shall give us grace, to look to him only, though morning after morning we should have nothing in hand for the work--yea, though from meal to meal we should have to look to him; being fully assured that he, who is now ( ) in the tenth year feeding these many orphans, and who has never suffered them to want, and that he who is now ( ) in the twelfth year carrying on the other parts of the work, without any branch of it having had to be stopped for want of means, will do so for the future also. and here i do desire, in the deep consciousness of my natural helplessness and dependence upon the lord, to confess that through the grace of god my soul has been in peace, though day after day we have had to wait for our daily provisions upon the lord; yea, though even from meal to meal we have been required to do this.--i now go on with extracts from my journal. dec. , . by the produce of six old silver coins, which i received last evening, and by s. d. which came in besides, we were able to meet the expenses of today; but now there were before us the heavy expenses of tomorrow, saturday, which i knew would be particularly great, and there was nothing at all in hand to meet them. in this our need there came in this evening from lutterworth and its neighbourhood two donations, one of l., and the other of l. the l. was for the orphans, and the l. was left to my disposal, as it might be most needed. i took of it l. l s. d. for the orphans, and l. s. d. for the day schools. this afternoon a gentleman passed the girls�-orphan-house. the house door being opened, he rolled half a crown into the house. this half crown came in when there was nothing at all in hand. there came in also by knitting of the infants d., by knitting of the boys d., from a poor believing widow d., and by sale of a report d. thus we have l. l s. for the necessities of the orphans tomorrow (the other little sums have been spent today). dec. . monday. on saturday, dec. , s. came in from brighton., and yesterday l. with eccles. ix. , and by a sister from nailsworth s. also by sale of articles s, d. thus we had l. s. d., which was nearly but not quite enough for the necessities of today, as it would be desirable to have a few shillings more. i went, therefore, to see whether there was any money in the two boxes at my house, and i found a sovereign. thus we had more than sufficient for the need of today, which is l. this evening i received l. s. for articles which had been sold. dec. . a few little donations which came in on the th, together with the little there was in hand, supplied our need on the th. on the th a shilling was anonymously left on the mantel piece in the infant-orphan-house; and one of the orphans, formerly under our care, but now in service, gave s. d. these two small donations were most seasonable towards the supply of our need on the th. now this day commenced without our having anything in hand. just while the orphan-boy, who had been sent to my house for money, was waiting, i received from the neighbourhood of droitwich s. this, with s. d. for reports, and d. for knitting of the infant-orphans, and s. d. which one of the labourers was able to give of his own, helped us through this day. dec. . there was again nothing at all in hand this morning to meet the expenses of the day. a little after ten o�clock an orphan arrived from northam, with whom there was sent for my own personal necessities s., and l. s. d. besides. as about this latter sum nothing had been written, i put it to the orphan-fund, whereby we are supplied for today, and have a little left towards the need of tomorrow. there was also d. in the boxes at my house. dec. . l. was left, after the need of yesterday had been met. this morning, saturday, when i knew that again several pounds would be needed, and i had therefore been waiting on the lord, i received about nine o�clock l. from a brother, who, on his return from spain to devonshire, had been intrusted with it for the orphans, by a sister in the lord who lives in london. a few minutes after i had received this sovereign, i had to pay on behalf of one of the apprentices l., which took exactly all the money i had, so that there was still nothing to meet the ordinary housekeeping expenses of this day, which i knew would be at least l. i gave myself therefore still further to prayer, being fully assured, by grace, that my loving faithful father would this day also provide me his child with everything i needed. scarcely was i risen from my knees, when i received a bank post bill from torquay for l.; of which l. is intended by the kind donor for my own temporal necessities, and l. for the orphans, so that we have more than enough for this day.--there came in still further this evening, in five small donations, s. d., by needlework s., and by sale of articles l. s. d. dec. . anonymously put into the box at bethesda, s. d., and from c. m. w. l. dec. . there was now again only one penny in my hands this morning. about eleven o�clock i received a note, enclosing s. and s. the brother who kindly brought the note which contained the money, gave at the same time s. d. for the orphans. as only s. was needed to purchase the necessary provisions for this day, and one of the labourers was able to add s. d. of his own, we were supplied. dec. . only s. d., the contents of an orphan-box, l. by sale of stockings, and s. l / d. from the boxes in the orphan-houses, have come in. this, with s. which one of the labourers was able to give, supplied the need of today. dec. . nothing has come in. s. d., which one of the labourers was able to give, was all we had. at six o�clock this evening, our need being now very great, not only with reference to the orphan-houses, but also the day schools, &c., i gave myself with two of the labourers to prayer. there needed some money to come in before eight o�clock tomorrow morning, as there was none to take in milk for breakfast (the children have oatmeal porridge with milk for breakfast), to say nothing about the many other demands of tomorrow, being saturday. our hearts were at peace, while asking the lord, and assured that our father would supply our need. we had scarcely risen from our knees, when i received a letter containing a sovereign for the orphans, half of which was from a young east india officer, and the other half the produce of the sale of a piece of work, which the sister, who sent the money, had made for the benefit of the orphans. she wrote: "i love to send these little gifts. they so often come in season." truly, thus it was at this time.--about five minutes later i received from a brother the promise of l. for the orphans, to be given during the next week; and a quarter of an hour after that, about seven o�clock, a brother gave me a sovereign, which an irish sister in the lord had left this day, on her departure for dublin, for the benefit of the orphans. how sweet and precious to see thus so manifestly the willingness of the lord to answer the prayers of his needy children! dec. . this morning we three again waited unitedly upon the lord, as there was not enough for the necessities of the orphan-houses for this day. moreover, the teachers in the day schools need supplies. between ten and eleven o�clock i received by the first delivery a letter, containing half a sovereign with these words: "the young lions do lack and suffer hunger; but they that seek the lord shall not want any good thing. dec. , ." it was not stated whether this money was for my own personal need, or for the orphans, or any other object. i took it for the orphans.--thus we had enough, except about s. d., to provide all that was needed for today and tomorrow. between seven and eight o�clock this evening, a brother sent half a crown to the boys�-orphan-house, stating that he had been thinking much about the orphans in the course of this day, but that he had not had time to send this money sooner. thus, by the kindness of the lord, we have the exact sum which is required, and are again brought to the close of another week.--between nine and ten o�clock this evening came in still further, by the sale of articles, l. s. thus the lord has not only helped us to the close of the week, but given us also a little with which to begin another week. dec. . yesterday came in by the profit of the sale of ladies� bags l., and in two donations l. by this l. s. which came in since saturday evening, we should have had enough for the ordinary household expenses of today; but as our stores of oatmeal, rice, peas, and scotch barley, are either entirely or nearly exhausted, and as some calico for shirts and lining, besides many other little articles are needed, and as especially the teachers in the day schools are greatly in need of pecuniary supplies, i had been especially entreating the lord, that he would be pleased to send us larger supplies. i rose from my knees about half-past ten this morning, and about a quarter to eleven i received a let letter from a. b. with an order for l., to be used as most needed in the work. of this sum i took for the orphans only l., and for the other funds l. (in consideration of l. having been promised to be paid this week for the orphans); and thus we are in every way again most seasonably helped. "bless the lord, o my soul, and forget not all his benefits!"--there came in still further by three donations l. s. on dec. and there came in l. s. d. for the orphans. dec. . though there had come in above l. for the orphans, during the last four days, yet as our stores needed to be replenished, and there had been several other expenses to be met, we were again today in need of farther supplies, when i received the l. for the orphans, which had been promised during the last week. thus i was able also to supply the labourers in the orphan-houses with some money for their own personal need. review of the year . i. as to the church. brethren and sisters brother craik and i found in communion, when we came to bristol. have been admitted into communion since we came to bristol. would be, therefore, the total number of those in fellowship with us, had there been no changes. but have left bristol. have left us, but are still in bristol. are under church discipline. have fallen asleep. are therefore to be deducted from , so that there are only at present in communion. have been added during the past year, of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the lord among us. ii. as to the supply of my temporal necessities: . the lord has been pleased to send me from the saints among whom i labour in bristol, in provisions, clothes, etc. worth to us at least £ s. d. . in anonymous offerings in money, put up in paper, and directed to me, and put into the boxes for the poor saints or the rent, at the meeting places £ s. d. . in presents in money, from saints in bristol, not given anonymously £ s. s. . in provisions and clothes, from saints not residing in bristol, worth to us at least £ s. d. . in money from saints not residing in bristol £ s. d. altogether £ s. d. jan. , . from dec. up to this day the lord was pleased to send in the donations for the orphans so, that there was always some money received, before all was expended.--the l. which was given to me on dec. , and between l. and l. which had come in since, was now today, jan. , , all spent, after the expenses of today, saturday, had been met, when there was given to me this evening a silver cup, a gold seal, a broken gold seal, a gold buckle, a watch hook, and a brooch. there came in also by sale of articles s. d., and by a donation s. jan. . yesterday came in. s. and today l. s. jan. . today came in l. s. d. jan. . this day i received l. s. / d. jan. . the last money had been again paid out yesterday morning, when i received l. last evening with eccles. ix. . this morning was sent to me from clapham, l. s. thus we were able to meet the expenses of today, which were l. s. feb. . since jan. there had come in l. s. d., which had fully supplied all our need; but now all was again spent, after this day�s expenses had been met, on account of which i gave myself to prayer with my wife this morning. this evening i received in answer to it s. by sale of articles. feb. . this morning a brother gave to me l. thus we have l. s.; but as this is not nearly enough for today, we have given ourselves still further to prayer, and are now looking for supplies. while i am writing this, the orphan has brought the letter bag to fetch l. s., which is the need of today; i am therefore looking out for help to make up this sum.--i opened the boxes in my house, in which i found s. d. with this l. s. d. i had to send off the boy, waiting for further supplies.--this afternoon, about five, came in by sale of articles l. s. d. thus we had enough, and one penny more than was needed, and we are brought to the close of another week. o lord, how can thy servant sufficiently praise thee for condescending so to listen to his requests! his soul is amazed at thy condescension, and yet, not amazed when he considers that thou doest it for the sake of thy dear son, in whom thou dost continually look upon thy servant!--there came in still further this evening s. d. feb. . yesterday was intrusted to me altogether for the orphans l. s. d., in eight different donations. thus i was able to send the supplies which were needed this day in the orphan-houses, which required all that had come in yesterday. when now there was again nothing at all in hand, i received, about one o�clock l., with the following lines: "from the widow to the orphans, a thank-offering to him who careth for them both." through the same donor i received at the same time from a lady and gentleman l. in the evening came in further s., by the profit of the sale of ladies� bags, and s. d. as a donation. feb. . as during the last three days only l. s. had come in., all our money was now again expended, and nothing in hand towards the supplies of tomorrow, saturday, when i received this afternoon s., being the profit of the sale of ladies� bags. this evening came in still further with eccles. ix. , l., by sale of articles s., and from a brother s. feb. . by what came in yesterday afternoon and evening, we had l. l s. towards the expenses of this day. but, as this was not enough, i asked the lord still further for help, and, behold, this morning�s post brought me a post-office-order for l. from stafford, of which l. s. d. is for the orphans. thus we have l. s. d., which is quite enough for this day. admire with me, my dear reader, if you know the lord, his seasonable help. why does this post-office-order not come a few days sooner or later? because the lord would help us by means of it, and therefore influences the donor just then, and not sooner nor later, to send it. surely, all who know the lord, and who have no interest in disowning it, cannot but see his hand in a remarkable manner in this work.--nor will the godly and simple minded reader say:--"there is no difference between this way of proceeding, on the one hand, and going from individual to individual, asking them for means, on the other hand; for the writing of the reports is just the same thing." my dear reader, there is a great difference. suppose, that we are in need. suppose, that our poverty lasts for some weeks or even some months together. is there not, in that case, a difference between asking the lord only from day to day, without speaking to any human being not connected directly with the work about our poverty, on the one hand: and writing letters or making personal application to benevolent individuals for assistance, on the other hand? truly, there is a great difference between these two modes. i do not mean to say that it would be acting against the precepts of the lord to seek for help in his work by personal and individual application to believers, (though it would be in direct opposition to his will to apply to unbelievers, cor. vi. - ); but i act in the way in which i do for the benefit of the church at large, cheerfully bearing the trials, and sometimes the deep trials connected with this life of faith (which however brings along with it also its precious joys), if by any means a part at least of my fellow believers might be led to see the reality of dealing with god only, and that there is such a thing as the child of god having power with god by prayer and faith. that the lord should use for so glorious a service one so vile, so unfaithful, so altogether unworthy of the least notice as i am, i can only ascribe to the riches of his condescending grace, in which he takes up the most unlikely instruments, that the honour maybe manifestly his. i add only one word more: should satan seek to whisper into your ears: perhaps the matter is made known after all, when there is need (as it has been once said about me at a public meeting in a large town, that when we were in want i prayed publicly that the lord would send help for the orphans, which is entirely false); i say, should it be said, that i took care that our wants were made known, i reply: whom did i ask for any thing these many years since the work has been going on? to whom did i make known our wants, except to those who are closely connected with the work?--nay, so far from wishing to make known our need, for the purpose of influencing benevolent persons to contribute to the necessities of the institution under my care, i have even refused to let our circumstances be known, after having been asked about them, when on simply saying that we were in need, i might have had considerable sums. some instances of this have been given in the former part of this narrative. in such cases i refused, in order that the hand of god only might be manifest; for that, and not the money, nor even the ability of continuing to carry on the work, is my especial aim. and such self-possession has the lord given me, that at the times of the deepest poverty, (whilst there was nothing at all in hand, and whilst we had even from meal to meal to wait upon the lord for the necessities of more than persons), when a donation of l. or l. or more has been given to me, the donors could not have read in my countenance whether we had much or nothing at all in hand. but enough of this. i have made these few remarks, beloved reader, lest by any means you should lose the blessing which might come to your soul through reading the account of the lord�s faithfulness and readiness to hear the prayers of his children. feb. . monday. after having paid out on saturday all there was in hand, though having quite enough for that day, we had now again to look to the lord for means, as we generally need several pounds on mondays. at this time also our faithful lord did not disappoint us. for there came in late on saturday, by the sale of articles given for sale, l. s. d., and by sale of stockings, knitted by the boys, s. i received also since then by the profit of the sale of ladies� bags s., by the boxes in my house s. d., and by two donations s. there was also yesterday put into the chapel boxes, half-a-crown with these words: "trust in the lord, and wait patiently for him." thus we had l. l s. d., which was enough for the need of this day. feb. . i have received nothing since yesterday morning. nothing therefore was in hand when money was sent for, except s. d., which was sent up from the orphan-houses, by the messenger who came for this day�s supplies, and which had been received yesterday at the infant-orphan-house. i opened the boxes at my house, in which i found s. while the boy was waiting for the money, the sister who sells the articles which are given to be sold for the benefit of the orphans, and who knows nothing about our present need, came and brought s. for some things which she had sold. with this s. d. we are able to supply the need of today, as nothing but some bread and milk require to be purchased. feb. . l. s. came in from the neighbourhood of rotherham, besides s. d. thus we had enough for this day. feb. . yesterday afternoon i received s. from two poor sisters at portsmouth. this, with d., which was left of the money which i received yesterday, after the day�s need had been met, was all i had at the commencement of this day. in the course of the morning was sent by a lady of ashton, s. more. thus we had s. d., which sufficed for this day. feb. . only s. d. had come in as a donation, and s. d. by knitting. this s. d. was all i could send, hoping in the lord for more. the information i had from the boys�-orphan-house was, that the s. d. supplied the matrons with all that was absolutely needful for today. this evening at nine o�clock i received from sister e. ch. s. d. for reports. this is a most precious help, as without it there would be no means to take in the milk tomorrow morning. feb. . this morning between seven and eight o�clock i took the money which came in last night, to the orphan-houses, so that we were supplied for the breakfast. we had now to look to the lord for several pounds, to meet the demands of this day, being saturday. between and o�clock i again with my wife besought the lord, entreating him, that he would be pleased to help us, when a few minutes after, in this our great need, i received by the first delivery a letter from barnstaple, containing l. for the orphans. how truly precious, to see thus so manifestly the hand of god day by day stretched out on our behalf! feb. . monday. most seasonable as the help had been, which the lord so kindly had sent on saturday morning, and fully as it had supplied our need for that day; yet there was nothing left, after all the expenses had been met, so that we had even on saturday still further to wait upon the lord for fresh supplies for this day. now at this time likewise the lord has appeared on our behalf. about nine o�clock on saturday evening arrived by post a small parcel from yorkshire, which contained pitcher purses, night caps, a watchguard, and l. s. d. of this money l. is to be applied for missionary purposes, s. d. for the orphans, and l. as it may be needed. this l. i took therefore for the orphans. --yesterday morning i received as a widow�s mite l. for the orphans; and into the chapel boxes was put s. with eccles. ix. , and also half-a-crown anonymously. thus the lord has been pleased to send us altogether l. s., whereby we are able to meet this day�s expenses. feb. . we were comfortably helped through yesterday, but having provided for all the demands, there was again nothing left in my hands for today. how kind therefore of the lord to incline the heart of the same brother, who had given me l. a few weeks since, to intrust me with l. s. d. more last night, about nine o�clock! by this donation our need for today is supplied. feb. . only s. d. came in yesterday by sale of reports. when this morning the letter bag was sent from the orphan-houses for supplies, i found a note in it, containing this: "for today there is no need of mentioning any sum, as we can make that do, which the lord may please to send." the s. d. was all i had to send, waiting upon the lord for more--there came in further in the course of the morning by sale of stockings s., and by sale of other articles, given for that purpose, s. d. our need also led us to open the boxes in the orphan-houses, in which we found s. d. thus we had a altogether, l. s. d., whereby we were helped through this day. feb. . last evening i received from bath a small parcel, containing a small telescope, a set of mother-o�-pearl counters, silver buckles, and a broken silver brooch. this morning the bag was brought for money, but i had nothing in hand. whilst the boy who brought the letter bag was waiting, to receive the answer, the sister who disposes of the articles which are given for sale, (and who was no more acquainted with the state of our funds than any other person), brought s. d. with this we began the day, again trusting in the lord for further help. feb. . nothing more came in, in the course of yesterday morning; but a little after four o�clock i received a letter from jersey, containing a post-office-order for l. for the orphans. the donor writes thus: "herewith you will find a post-office-order for l., being this year�s subscription. i had a desire to defer it to the st of june; but owing to my mind having been deeply worked on the present day, that this was the acceptable time, i make no scruple of availing myself of this evening�s post, which i hope will be acceptable." jersey, feb. --how manifest is the hand of the lord in this matter! he stirs up this donor, who lives at such a distance, to remember our need, whose money indeed came in a most acceptable time.--thus we were again helped for yesterday. a few minutes after having received the l. from jersey, a brother near bruton sent me s. the money, given by this donor, being always left entirely to my disposal, i took this s. towards the need of the orphans for today. this morning�s post brought me half-a-sovereign from london. the letter contained only these words: "london, feb. , . psalm xxvii. ." i put this half-sovereign to the orphan-fund. there came in also by knitting s. d., and through the boxes in my house / d. thus we had for the need of this day again, by the good hand of our lord upon us, l. s. / d. feb. . saturday. yesterday afternoon and evening s. d. came in by knitting, and s. d. besides. this was all we had wherewith to begin the day. there came in still further in the course of today: by the boxes in the orphan-houses d., by knitting s. d., by a donation s., by sale of reports s., by sale of an article, given for that purpose, s., and one of the labourers gave s. thus the lord gave us again l. s. d. for today�s need, and we are helped to the close of another week.--as a fresh proof, that our loving father is still mindful of us, we received this evening a parcel and a box from plymouth: the former contained a musical box and a piece of worsted work, the latter china ornaments: all to be sold for the benefit of the orphans. feb. . monday. nothing at all has come in since saturday. when therefore this day began, we had no means to provide what was needed. my comfort, however, was, that our father knew that we were needy, and that kept me at this time also in peace. between and o�clock this morning i received l. s. from guernsey. the brother, who sent the money, writes, that he had delayed in sending it, and hoped that "this was the lord�s time," which indeed it is, for we are thus supplied for this day. feb. . yesterday afternoon. s. were put into the box in my room, which our need brought out, as again this day began without our having anything in hand. i received still further to day from a brother at crediton. l., being the produce of an orphan-box in his house.--this evening i was at a scripture-reading-meeting, at a brother�s house. on leaving i found half-a-crown in one of my gloves, evidently put there on purpose, which i put to the orphan-fund, and it was immediately taken to the orphan-houses. thus we were helped through this day also, but have nothing in hand towards tomorrow. there came in also for knitting s. d. thus we had l. s. d. for this day. march . there came in this morning by sale of some articles l. s. about dinner time a clergyman, who had had one of my narratives lent to him by one of the labourers in the orphan-houses, returned it with l. s. for the orphans, from himself and his two sisters. thus we were again provided with all we needed for today.--this evening the lord helped still further. i received with eccles. ix. , l. from sister m. b. came in l., by knitting of the infant-orphans s. d., and by two donations s. march . this day the lord has again looked upon us in his faithful love, and sent us help, whereby i am enabled to replenish our stores with rice, peas, and scotch barley, and am also able to put by the rent. there was found in the boxes in the orphan-houses l. s. d., which had been put in by some visitors, who saw the orphan-houses yesterday afternoon. there were also given to me old silver coins, the greater part of them old english coins, the others old spanish and french coins, also one crown piece current. there came in also by sale of articles and donations, besides the money for the silver coins, l s. d. thus the lord has dealt bountifully with us these two days, after many days of poverty. march . monday. the last money had been given out last saturday, and only d. had come in yesterday, whilst our need for today, i knew, would be about l. about a quarter of am hour before i was called on for money, i received from a brother at plymouth a post-office-order for l. s. d., and by the same post, anonymously, a french cambric handkerchief and half-a-crown. thus our present need was again more than met. march . there came in today l. l s. d. march . today we required l. s. to supply comfortably all that was needed in the orphan-houses, but only l. s. d. was in hand. how kind therefore of the lord to send me a large donation, whereby we were richly supplied! the particulars of it are these:--on oct. , , i had a long conversation with a sister in the lord, who opened her heart to me. on leaving me i told her, (because i thought it might prove a comfort to her at some future time,) that my house and my purse were hers, and that i should be glad if she would have one purse with me. this i said, i repeat, because i judged that at some future time it might prove a comfort to her in an hour of trial, having at the same time, (to judge from a circumstance which had occurred two days before,) every reason to believe, that she had not l. of her own. this sister, after i had said so, readily took me at my word, and said, i shall be glad of it, adding presently that she had l. the moment i heard that, i drew back, and said, that had i known that she had any money, i should not have made her this offer, and then gave her my reason why i had supposed she had no property at all. she then assured me that she possessed l., and that she had never seen it right, to give up this money, else she would have done so; but that as god had put this sum into her hands, without her seeking, she thought that it was a provision which the lord had made for her. i replied scarcely any thing to this; but she asked me to pray for her with reference to this matter. this whole conversation about the money occupied but very few minutes, and it all took place after the sister had risen and was on the point of leaving me.--after she was gone, i asked the lord, that he would be pleased to make this dear sister so happy in himself and enable her so to realize her true riches and inheritance in the lord jesus, and the reality of her heavenly calling, that she might be constrained by the love of christ, cheerfully to lay down this l. at his feet. from that time i repeated this my request before the lord daily, and often two, three, or four times a day; but not a single word or line passed between me and this sister on the subject, nor did i even see her; for i judged that it would be far better that she retained this money, than that by persuasion she should give it up, and afterwards perhaps regret the step she had taken, and thereby more dishonour than honour be brought on the name of the lord. after i had thus for days daily besought the lord on behalf of this sister, i found her one day, on returning home, at my house, when she told me, that she wished to see me alone. she then said to me, that from the time she had last conversed with me, she had sought to ascertain the lord�s will with reference to the l., and had examined the scriptures, and prayed about it, and that she was now assured that it was the will of the lord, she should give up this money. after she had told me this, i exhorted her, well to count the cost, and to do nothing rashly, lest she should regret the step she had taken, and to wait at least a fortnight longer before she carried out her intention. thus we separated. on the th day after this conversation. i received the following letter. "dear brother, "i believe the lord has not permitted you to grow weary of remembering me, but that he has still enabled you to bear me upon your heart in his presence. all is well with me, dear brother. your petitions have been heard and answered; i am happy and at peace. the lord has indeed manifested his tender care of and his great love towards me in jesus, in inclining my heart cheerfully to lay all i have hitherto called my own, at his feet. it is a high privilege. i write in haste to ask you (as we have now one purse) to receive the money at a bank in bristol; i will direct it to be sent in my name, to be delivered into your hands. etc." as this whole circumstance is related only for the profit of the reader, and as i knew that the sister still had my letters on the subject in her possession, i wrote to her, requesting her to send them to me, at the time when i published the last account about the orphan-house, etc. and extracts of them were given in the last report, in so far as they might refer to the subject or tend to edification. these extracts are here reprinted. my reply to the above was this: , paul street, kingsdown, bristol, dec. , . "my dear sister, "your letter found me in peace, and did not in the least surprise me. dealing with god is a reality. saints have power with him through jesus. it is now forty-two days since you first mentioned this matter to me. i cannot but admire the wisdom of god and his love to you in allowing me to speak to you as i did [i.e. offering her to have one purse with me; when i thought she had no earthly possessions at all], that thus this great privilege might be bestowed upon you, to give up this little sum for him. since that hour i have daily prayed for you, and often thrice or more in the course of the day, that the lord would make you so happy in himself, and help you with such faith to lay hold on all which he has given you in jesus, that you might be constrained by love cheerfully to lay down this little sum at his feet. thus i prayed again at six o�clock this morning for you. nor have i had the least doubt from the commencement, that the lord did hear my prayer; yea, so fully have i been assured that i had the petition, that again and again i have thanked him that he had answered my prayer, before i saw you eighteen days since, and before your letter came this morning. moreover, i have been fully assured since you were last here, that he was carrying on his work in your soul with reference to this matter, and that no subtle suggestions of satan, nor educational prejudices, nor misinterpretations of the scriptures were able to prevail; for i had asked the lord, by his spirit to overcome them in you, and that, if a brother�s word should be needed, he would be pleased to incline your heart to write to me: and, as no letter came, i felt fully confident, you were going forward in this matter in peace. when i had seen you this day six weeks, and learned about this little sum, i determined, never to say or write to you another word on the subject, but to leave you in the hands of the lord. thus i purposed again during the last eighteen days; for it was not the money given up, that i cared for in you, but the money given up unto the lord, and from right motives. on this very account i advised you to wait one fortnight longer, though you had come to the conclusion; but now, having done so, and seeing that you are fully purposed in the lord to be poor in this world indeed, that the more abundantly you may enjoy his riches, his inexhaustible riches, i change my advice. my word now, beloved sister, is this: "whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might," and "if ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them." delay then no longer, even as also you have no desire to delay: and the lord will bless you abundantly in doing so, inasmuch as you do it unto him. as you desire to intrust me with this money, i do not refuse it, knowing many ways to lay it out for him. etc." then only follows the direction how the money is to be paid into my bankers� hands. on dec. , , i received a reply to my letter, which answer was begun to be written on dec. th, but finished on the th. i give a few extracts of the letter: "since i last saw you, dear brother, i have not had the slightest doubt as to what i ought to do: the word of god has been so clear to me on this head, that i have been kept resting on it; and, in answer to your prayers, no temptation has been allowed to prevail, indeed, i think i may add to arise. but i feel that temptations may come, and that i may in seasons of trial not always have faith to be able to rejoice in this privilege. my heart is so deceitful and my faith so weak, that i shall greatly need your prayers still. will you then, if the lord enables you, pray that i may never offend my father by regretting in the least measure this act of obedience, which he has by his grace inclined me to carry out. i shall pray the lord still to lay me on your heart. i felt so sure, that you were helped to pray for me, that i had thanked the lord for his grace. i am glad you did not write, although i much value your advice; but i wished to be led by the lord alone, after he had used you as the instrument in the first instance, and in such a way too, that i am quite sure he intended to bless you to my soul in this matter. i have asked my heart whether i am really doing this to him. my heart assures me that i am, and not from any other motive than obedience to the written word. before i ever saw you i had asked the lord to make me willing to give this little sum into your hands, if it were his will i should; but his time to make me willing had not then come; even then i had, in a measure given it to you, having written a paper, desiring in case i should fall asleep in jesus, that you might get possession of it; i had it signed by two witnesses, and i always carried it about with me when i travelled, sealed and directed to you. when i wrote this, i little thought what grace the lord had in store for me. you will forgive my being thus tedious, but i am sure you will praise the lord with me for his gracious dealings with me. etc."--at the end of this letter, which was finished on dec. , the sister tells me, that unexpectedly a hindrance had arisen to her having possession of the money, so that it was not likely it could be paid over to me till about the end of january, . when this letter came, it would have been naturally a great disappointment to me, as the sister had told me in a previous letter that the money should be paid into my hands, and as just at that time in a variety of ways it was desirable that i should have considerable sums. the lord, however, enabled me immediately to lay hold on that word, "we know that all things work together for good to them that love god," rom. viii. , and my soul was in peace, though we had only enough money in hand to provide for one or at the most for two days the necessary provisions in the orphan-houses. it was but the next day, dec. , , when i received l. from a. b., and on dec. , i received l. from a brother in bristol, besides other donations: so that within one week, after i had had grace to delight myself in the will of god, he gave me about l., whereby i was able to meet all the heavy expenses of replenishing the stores, &c., on account of which i should naturally have been tried in the payment of the money being delayed. in reply to the letter, which i received from this sister on dec. , i wrote another on. december , , of which i give an extract on this subject. "the hand of the lord is indeed most manifestly to be seen in this matter, concerning the money: the way in which your own mind was led; my speaking under the circumstances under which i did, when you were already risen to leave the room; the reason why i did so, i.e., mere sympathy with your circumstances, and thinking that some day or other my brotherly offer might be a comfort to you, though you should never need it, and all this when i believed that at that time you did not possess l.--i have continued to pray for you, or rather the lord has enabled me every day once, twice, thrice, or even more, to remember you. the burden of my prayer still has been, that he would be pleased to make you very happy in himself and enable you to enter into the inheritance which awaits you; further, that you may not be permitted in the least to regret the step which you have taken, but rather consider it a privilege to be permitted to give this little sum back to him who gave it to you, and who gave himself for you.--with reference to the delay, i cannot but rejoice. this gives you abundant opportunity to ponder the matter, and afterwards to state to any (who, judging as those who know not how rich the saints are, might blame you,) that you did not do the thing in haste. i consider this delay to be for the furtherance of the honour of the lord. you know my advice to you, to wait at least a fortnight. that you have seen much of your unfaithfulness, &c., i consider to be an especial blessing which the lord has bestowed upon you, lest this step you have taken should become a snare to you. humblings last our whole life. jesus came not to save painted but real sinners; but he has saved us, and will surely make it manifest. i have a passage laid on my heart for you, read the whole of it carefully: corinth. viii. - , especially verse . etc." day after day now passed away and the money did not come. the month of january was come to an end, and february also, and the money had not come. thus more than one hundred and twenty days were gone by, whilst day by day i brought my petition before the lord, that he would bless this sister, keep her steadfast in her purpose and intrust me with this money for his work in my hands. amidst it all my heart was assured (judging from the earnestness which he had given me in prayer, and that i had only desired this matter to the praise of his name), that in his own time he would bring it about. but i never wrote one single line to the sister on the subject all this time. at last, on the one hundred and thirty-fourth day after i had daily besought the lord about this matter, on march th, , received a letter from the sister, informing me that the l. had been paid into the hands of my bankers. i now wrote to the sister to inquire, whether she wished the money to be expended upon any particular objects, or whether she would leave me altogether free to expend it, as i might be led. in reply to this she wrote me: "dear brother, i would still leave this little sum in the hands of him to whom it has been given. may he alone be your guide in disposing of it. if i did express one wish, it would be, that you would make use of a part for your own or your family�s present necessity." this latter point i declined entirely, thinking it not wise to take a part of this money for myself, to avoid even the appearance as if in any measure i had sought my own things in this matter, instead of the things of jesus christ. the l. were thus portioned out: l. for the school-bible-tract and missionary fund. l. for the employment fund. l. was taken at once for the orphan-fund, and afterwards also the remaining l. when, as i shall presently relate, the lord pointed out to me to go forward in the orphan work, and to establish a fourth orphan-house. i have related the particulars connected with this donation so minutely, in order to show, that though we may have long to wait upon the lord, yea, though for one hundred and thirty-four days we may have daily the same petition to bring before him, yet at last he will give us the desire of our hearts, if our petitions are according to his mind. and now i only give a few lines of a letter which i received on. july , , from the sister who gave this donation, together with my letters for which i had asked her, in order that i may show her state of mind on the subject, after she had had it more than twenty months before her, and after she had for sixteen months actually given up the money. she writes thus: "i am thankful to say that i have never for one moment had the slightest feeling of regret; but it is wholly of the lord�s abounding grace. i speak it to his praise." on march , , i called at the orphan-houses, to make certain arrangements, and one of the sisters told me by the way, that she had been asked by miss g, who with her father occupied the house, no. , wilson street, to let me know that they wished to give up their house, if i would like to take it; but she had replied that it was of no use to tell me about it, for she was sure that i had no thought of opening another orphan-house. when i came home, this matter greatly occupied my mind. i could not but ask the lord again and again whether he would have me to open another orphan-house, and whether the time was now come that i should serve him still more extensively in this way. the more i pondered the matter, the more it appeared to me that this was the hand of god moving me onwards in this service. the following remarkable combination of circumstances struck me in particular. , there are more applications made for the admission of orphans, especially of late, than we are at all able to meet, though we fill the houses as much as the health of the children and of the labourers will possibly admit. , if i did take another house for orphans, it would be most desirable it should be in the same street where the other three are, as thus the labour is less, and in times of great need we are near together for prayer, the distribution of the money, &c. but since the third orphan-house was opened in nov. , there never has been one of the larger houses in the street to be let. , there are about fifteen children in the infant-orphan-house, whom it would have been well some time ago to have removed to the house for the older girls, had there been room; but when a vacancy happened to occur in that house, there were generally several waiting to fill it up, so that unintentionally the female children in the infant-orphan-house remained where they were; but this is not well, nor is it according to my original intention for the infants were intended only to be left till they are seven years old, and then to be removed to the houses for older boys and girls. this my original plan could be executed better for the future, and at once for the present, were i to open another orphan-house. , i know two sisters who seem suitable labourers for this fourth orphan-house, and who have a desire thus to be engaged. , there are l. remaining of the l. which i so lately received. this money may be used for the furnishing and fitting up of a new orphan-house. so much money i have never had in hand at one time during the last five years. this seemed to me a remarkable thing, in connexion with the four other reasons. , the establishing of a fourth orphan-house, which would increase our expenses several hundred pounds a year, would be, after we have gone for five years almost uninterruptedly through trials of faith, a plain proof that i have not regretted this service, and that i am not tired of this precious way of depending upon the lord from day to day; and thus the faith of other children of god might be strengthened.--but most important, yea decidedly conclusive, as these points were; yet they did not convince me that i ought to go forward in this service, if the spirit�s leading were not in connexion with them. i therefore gave myself to prayer. i prayed day after day, without saying anything to any human being. i prayed two and twenty days, without even mentioning it to my dear wife. on that very day, when i did mention it to her, and on which i had come to the conclusion, after three weeks� prayer and consideration in the fear of god, to establish another orphan-house, i received from a. b. l. and l. through him from a sister. what a striking confirmation that the lord will help, though the necessities should increase more and more. at last, on the th day, having been now for several days fully assured, that god would have me go forward in this service, i went to inquire whether mr. and miss g. still wished to give up the house. but here i found an apparent hinderance. having heard no wish expressed on my part to take the house, and the sister in the orphan-houses, with whom miss g. had communicated, not having given her the least reason to think that i should do so, mr. and miss g. their altered their plans, and now purposed to remain in the house. however, i was to call again in a week, when i should receive an answer. i was not in the least discomforted by this obstacle. "lord, if thou hast no need of another orphan-house, i have none," was the burden of my prayer. i was willing to do god�s will, yea to delight myself in his will. and just on this very ground, because i knew i sought not my own honour but the lord�s; because i knew i was not serving myself, but the lord in this thing; and because i knew that with so much calm, quiet, prayerful, self-questioning consideration i had gone about this business, and had only after many days, during which i had been thus waiting upon the lord, come to the conclusion that it was the will of god i should go forward in this service: for, these reasons i felt sure (notwithstanding what mr. and miss g. had told me), that i should have the house. i also especially judged, that thus it would be, because i was quite in peace, when i heard of the obstacle: a plain proof that i was not in self-will going on in this matter, but according to the leading of the holy ghost; for if according to my natural mind i had sought to enlarge the work, i should have been excited and uncomfortable when i met with this obstacle. after a week i called again on mr. g. and now see how god had wrought! on the same day on which i had seen mr. g., he went out and met with a suitable house, so that when i came the second time, he was willing to let me have the one which he then occupied in wilson street, and as the owner accepted me as a tenant, all the difficulties were removed, so that after the first of june we began fitting up the house, and in july the first orphans were received. of the donations which came in from march to the end of may, , and which were many, i only notice: on april a brother gave l., which had been saved out of house furnishing, by doing it in a plainer way. at the end of may, , i entered upon a remarkable part of my life, upon which i must dwell somewhat at length, especially as it will, by god�s blessing, still further show the reader the preciousness of depending upon god for every thing. it was in september or october , that one day a german lady, a native of wirtemberg, called on me. she said that she had come to england to perfect herself in english, and purposed afterwards to return to germany to establish a boarding school for young ladies, and especially for english young ladies. having heard that i was a german, she came to obtain my advice, and to request me to interest myself for her in getting her pupils to instruct in german, in order thus to support herself while in england. after having conversed with her for some time about these things, and given her the information which she desired, i then spoke to her about the things of god, in which conversation i soon found, that though she might have had some religious feelings from time to time, yet that she did not know the lord. on leaving me i gave her the first and second part of my narrative, which i thought she would read because it contained the experience of a german, and thus she would also have exercise in english. i then followed with my prayers the reading of the book, that god would be pleased to bless it to the conversion of her soul. after some time she called on me again, telling me that she had been deeply interested in reading my narrative, and asked me whether i had any objection to her translating the book into german, with the view of getting it published on her return to germany. my reply was that i had no right to object to it; for, in so far as translation into another language was concerned, the book was everyone�s property. i might have mentioned that i did not think her yet sufficiently acquainted either with the english language or the state of things in england, especially religiously, and that, as she was not converted herself, she could not give the exact translation of the book, though she were qualified with reference to the two former points; but, as i had the spiritual benefit of the individual in view, i thought thus with myself; this person has no employment at present, and by translating this book she will be kept from the many snares connected with idleness; she will by this means also make progress in english, which she is desirous of doing; but, most of all, the fact of translating a book for the press will oblige her more accurately and attentively to consider what is contained in it, than she would be obliged to do, were she simply to read it through several times, and therefore this work may, with god�s blessing, be instrumental in doing good to her soul. the last point weighed particularly with me; i therefore did not discourage her, though at the same time i did not encourage her, but left the matter to herself. as, however, she left me with the impression that she was going to translate the book, i asked the lord to convert her soul in doing so. after a time mrs. g. called on me again, and brought me a part of the manuscript, that i might read it over. i took it, but could not promise her to read it; for i had little prospect of doing so, for want of time. nevertheless i read a few pages, which i found rather better translated than i had expected. after this she brought me at two or three other times considerable parts of the translation, which, however, i had never time to read. by this time the winter had passed away, and it was come to march, , when all of a sudden, one wednesday afternoon, i was seized with sharp pains, something like spasms, which were so acute that, though they passed off after about an hour, they left me so weak, that i was not able to go out to our usual meeting on that evening. about seven o�clock, just when i should have been at the meeting but for this illness, mrs. g., who for several weeks had been at trowbridge, to finish the translation, and to instruct a young lady in german, came to take leave of me. she said she now purposed to return to wirtemberg. though i was very weak, yet, under these circumstances, i could not decline seeing her, as it would be in all human probability the last time that i should do so. i therefore besought the lord to strengthen me for this service (which i soon perceived he had done), and, after a short conversation with her about her circumstances, i began to speak to her about her soul, and soon found she was heavy laden, burdened under her sins, and broken in heart. with many tears, she told me that she was a great sinner, an exceedingly great sinner. every word she spoke gave me the impression, that all she now needed was to have the work of christ pointed out to her, i.e. the power of his blood in cleansing from all sin, by faith in his name. i spent about two hours with her, and she left me with many tears.--i also had said to her at the beginning of the conversation with reference to the translation of my narrative, that if she still desired to publish it, she should seek to get the assistance of a pious clergyman in germany, who understood english well--on the next morning about nine mrs. g. called again upon me, telling me that she could not leave bristol without seeing me once more. she now spent about three hours more with me, in which she told me that, during the night, which she had chiefly spent in prayer and reading the word of god, she had found peace in the lord jesus, and that she was now happy in him. she further told me, that, after she had translated a part of my narrative, the spirit of god began to work upon her heart, by convincing her that she was a great sinner. the further she went on, the more she felt what a sinner she was, till at last, when she was come towards the end of the book, she came to the conclusion to return to germany. i now gave her some advice in reference to her return, and also what she should do with reference to her spiritual welfare, after her return to wirtemberg. after this she left me. about two or three weeks after (in april, ) i received a long letter from her, written on her way homeward, by which i was still further confirmed that, although mrs. g. was only a mere babe in christ, yet that she was a babe, and that a real work of grace had been begun in her heart. i then wrote to her, but from that time till towards the end of may, , i heard no more of her. towards the end of may, , however, i received a long letter from her, dated stuttgart (capital of the kingdom of wirtemberg). in this letter mrs. g. gave me an outline of her history during the year after she had returned to her country. suffice it here to say, that she had sought in vain to find christians with whom she could be united in fellowship according to the truths she thought she saw in my narrative, and according to what she had seen and heard at our meetings in. bristol. at last, about new-year, , she became acquainted with a little baptist church, which was separated from the state church, and she was after a time baptized and received into fellowship among them, which took place in feb. . soon, however, she found things different, as to church order, etc., from what she had seen amongst us in bristol, or from what she had learnt from my narrative, especially with reference to close baptist principles, which in the highest and strongest degree were practised among the brethren at stuttgart: and she wrote to me, to ask my view about that point, as she felt pained at separating from true believers, because they might not be instructed about believers� baptism. her letter was accompanied by another letter from one of the brethren of the baptist church, dr. r--, a solicitor or barrister to the upper tribunal of the kingdom of wirtemberg. the letter of the latter testified of the gracious spirit of the writer, but also that he likewise held the separating views of close communion, and that he, having read the translation of my narrative in manuscript, seemed to be drawn and knit to me affectionately, but wished to have, upon scriptural ground, my views about open communion. before i received these letters, i had been repeatedly asked, during my fourteen years� residence in england, why i did not labour in my native country. the importance also of doing so had been pointed out to me; nor was i myself insensible to this; but my answer had always been: "i must labour where the lord will have me to be, and as i have never seen it to be the lord�s will, that i should labour in germany, i ought not to do so." about fourteen months before i received these letters, it had been also more than ever laid on my heart by brother r. c. he had seen something of the religious state of the continent, and he had heard still more about it, and he had found, almost every where, that when he set truth before brethren, they said, it is scriptural, you are right; but if we were to practice this, what would be the consequences? what would become of us and our wives and children? or something of that kind. brother c. therefore came on purpose to see me, on his return from denmark, to lay it on my heart to visit germany, on account of my being a native and having been led by the lord as i had. he told me especially that he considered it of importance that i should publish my narrative in german, in order that thus the faith of the brethren., with the lord�s blessing, might be strengthened, and that they might be led to act according to the light which they had. all this seemed to me very important: but my answer was as before; i cannot go till the lord calls me. scarcely had i read the letters from mrs. g. and dr. r--, but i felt: now is the time come when i am to go to germany; and from that time i gave myself to prayer about it. when i afterwards communicated my feeling on the subject to brother r. c. he said; i am not surprised about it, for from the time that i spoke to you on the subject, i have been constantly asking the lord to bring it about. --the reasons that pointed it out to me as the lord�s will, that i ought to go to germany to labour there for a season, were these. , i knew not of one single body of believers, who were gathered on scriptural principles. in all the states of germany, with scarcely any exception, believers are connected with the state churches, and the very few believers of whom i had heard that they were separated, i knew to be close baptists, who, generally, by their most exclusive separate views, only confirmed believers in remaining in the establishment. especially of the baptist church at stuttgart i had much reason to believe this. it seemed to me therefore important to go to germany, and labour there for a season., if it might please the lord to condescend to use me to put a light on a candlestick, howsoever dimly it might be burning at the first, so that by means thereof the light might be spread in other parts of germany. , as i am a german, and therefore familiar with the language, there seemed to me an especial call that i should take on myself this service, particularly as my experience in connexion with several bodies of believers, during the / years previous to this time, would be of great help in this service. , it seemed further to me to be the lord�s will that i should go to germany, in order that i might publish my narrative of the lord�s dealings with me (which mrs. g. had not been able to accomplish), and that not simply in the form of a translation, but so that it should be prepared for the press just as the necessities of the believers in germany (who, with scarcely any exceptions, are not only connected with the establishment, but have no idea that there is any where else any thing besides establishment) might require it. thus, i judged, something would be given to germany of the practical working of labouring out of the establishment; of meeting only as believers in the name of the lord jesus, irrespective of any particular religious party or sect, and that in dependence upon the power and presence of the holy ghost in the church of christ; of dependence upon the lord alone for every thing; of recognising no other book but the holy scriptures for our rule concerning every thing, &c.; and thus my narrative, if the lord allowed me to publish it, might be working still, after i had left germany. , up to that time i had never known an open door for me to labour on the continent, at least not in germany; for in the establishment i neither could labour with a good conscience, according to the light which the lord had been pleased to give me, nor should i have been permitted to have done so; and i was not acquainted with believers on the continent out of the establishment; and as to preaching in the open air, or going somewhere and taking a place for preaching, any thing of this sort was out of the question; for i was too well acquainted with the police of germany, not to know that that would not be permitted. but now i heard of an open door. at stuttgart, i judged, i might labour in expounding the truth in this close baptist church, and seek to bring these dear brethren out of their sectarian views. , but that which in connexion with these four reasons had likewise much influence upon me, was this: during the fourteen years that i had been in england, i had never had my mind drawn to labour on the continent, and now the very opposite was the case. it was but two or three days before i received those letters from stuttgart, that i had again expressed my mind as to labouring in germany, i.e. that i felt no call from the lord to do it, and had no drawing towards it. now the case was altogether otherwise. i could not but pray about it; i could not but feel drawn to go to germany in love to the lord and in pity towards the poor church of christ in that country. naturally there was nothing inviting; for i saw a hard struggle before me with reference to the brethren who were to be won for the truth, and to be brought out of their errors; in the continental manners and the long and beautiful journey on the rhine i saw, through grace, no charm, and certainly i saw nothing in them which would induce me to leave home, but the reverse; the fourth orphan-house was on the point of being opened, and i, naturally, was very reluctant to be absent from it just then; the labour would be great in germany, and work would heap up greatly for me in bristol, during my absence. but with all this:--the leading of my mind to germany still remained. the more i prayed about these points, the more i judged it to be from the lord, that i should go for a season to germany. it was but a few days, before i had the fullest assurance in my soul, (after much prayer, much self-examination in the fear of god, and after much looking at these five points), that it was the will of god i should go; yet even then i did not speak publicly about it. after having come to the conclusion, that, as far as i could see, it was the will of god that i should go, i began prayerfully to look at the difficulties there were in the way, which were principally these. . the new orphan-house needed to be opened, and all the work in connexion with it was to be done before i could leave; because i could not judge it to be of god, that this work, which was begun, should remain unfinished, except absolute necessity pointed it out, as otherwise it would be a waste of money, a breach of promise to the relatives whose children were to be received, &c. i therefore asked the lord to help me through all this work, which was not a little, before i could leave. . i judged it for various reasons important, not to leave the work of the orphan-houses, day-schools, &c., without leaving such a sum of money behind, as would, at least for about two months, defray the probable current expenses for the work, therefore a few hundred pounds i thought it desirable to leave behind, in order that the burden of the work might not be left upon the shoulders of my dear fellow-labourers. i had therefore by prayer to get this sum from the lord, for the obtaining of which i had no natural prospects whatever. . another obstacle in the way was, want of money for traveling expenses to and from stuttgart, and means for staying there at least for a time, and that not only for myself, but for my dear wife; for i judged, for various reasons, that it was the will of god she should accompany me in this service, but principally because her health was not equal to being left in bristol, with the responsibility of the work resting upon her in my absence. this again would require a considerable sum, i mean considerable for me, a poor man. the means i then had of my own as far as i now remember, were not enough, if they had been multiplied by fifty. this obstacle was to be removed by prayer. . one of the especial reasons for which i saw it to be the lord�s will that i should go to germany was, the publishing of my narrative, at a cheap price ( s. for both parts), or to be given away gratuitously, so that the poor might have it. but this could not be obtained, except i published it on my own account, to avoid the publisher�s putting a higher price upon it. then again, as so much expense of time was connected with printing it, i intended, if once i went to germany, to print not less than copies; and what is even that number among the many millions whose language is german. but whence was the money to come for all this; an expense which, though printing and paper are very much cheaper in germany than in england, yet i knew would cost between one and two hundred pounds. for this, then, also, i, a poor man, betook myself to the living god, being fully assured, that, as he had pointed out to me his will with reference to my going, he would also most assuredly provide the means. nay, i had a secret satisfaction in the greatness of the difficulties which were in the way. so far from being cast down on account of them, they delighted my soul; for i only desired to do the will of the lord in this matter. in honesty of heart, i had examined the matter, as standing before god. i wished only to know his will, that i might do it. i judged, it was his will that i should go to germany, and therefore determined in his fear that i would go. when i therefore saw the difficulties, they cast me not down, but cheered me; for as it was the will of god, according to my judgment, that i should go, i was sure he would remove the obstacles out of the way; and therefore the greater the obstacles, the more abundantly plain the proof, that i had come to a right judgment, if they were removed by prayer; but if after all i had been mistaken, which i could not think i had been, then, the sooner i was undeceived the better. how different such a state of heart, from what it would have been, if somehow or other the love for a continental tour, or the desire to go up the beautiful rhine, had beguiled me: then i should not have liked to look at the difficulties, or at least i should have sought to have them removed by my own efforts. but as it was, i did nothing but pray. prayer and faith, the universal remedies against every want and every difficulty; and the nourishment of prayer and faith, god�s holy word, helped me over all the difficulties.--i never remember, in all my christian course, a period now (in october ) of fifty-five years and eleven months, that i ever sincerely and patiently sought to know the will of god by the teaching of the holy ghost, through the instrumentality of the word of god, but i have been always directed rightly. but if honesty of heart and uprightness before god were lacking, or if i did not patiently wait upon god for instruction, or if i preferred the counsel of my fellow men to the declarations of the word of the living god, i made great mistakes.-- . a fifth difficulty in the way was, to find a sister, as matron, for the new orphan-house, who, as far as i could see, would be suitable; for there were reasons why the sister, of whom i had first thought, could not be engaged for this work. this was no small difficulty in the way, not only as a point important in itself, but also because i could not proceed with the fitting up of the house, &c., till such a sister had been found. in the beginning of june, i began therefore to give myself to prayer, along with my wife and her sister who lived with us, making it a point, every morning after family prayer, to retire together for the express purpose of asking the lord to remove these five difficulties, if it were indeed, as i judged, his holy will, that i should labour for a season on the continent. in addition to this we day by day asked his blessing upon the brethren at stuttgart among whom i was looking forward to labour, and upon unconverted persons with whom i might come in contact on the continent in the ministry of the gospel publicly or privately. we asked him also especially to prepare the hearts of the brethren in germany for my service, to help me in writing the book, to bless it, &c. we asked him further, to be with the church in bristol, during my absence, to use my absence as a means of making the gifts, which he had bestowed among us, more abundantly manifest, to help the labourers in the orphan-houses and day-schools during my absence, &c. thus we were, morning by morning, waiting upon the lord, and enlarging our petitions as the holy spirit might lead me in prayer. but whilst we were thus day by day waiting upon the lord, the difficulties, instead of being removed, appeared to increase. for instance: instead of money coming in for the orphans, the day-schools, and the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, there was considerably more expended than came in, so that we were getting almost poor. instead of finding a sister, who seemed suitable as matron for the new orphan-house, i had the prospect of losing another sister out of the work, who considered it her place to leave bristol. but notwithstanding all this, my soul was at peace, being fully assured, that i could not be mistaken, as i had come through sincere, patient, and prayerful consideration of the whole matter at last to the conclusion, it was the will of the lord that i should go to germany, to labour there in the word, and publish my narrative in the german language. faith therefore saw all the difficulties already removed. faith could give thanks, while the difficulties yet remained. faith could triumph, though there seemed the death blow coming, since there not only was no money coming in, but the considerable sums, lately in hand, were rapidly diminishing; and, instead of finding a sister for the new orphan-house, another sister seemed on the point of leaving. thus forty days had been passing away, whilst day after day we had been waiting unitedly upon the lord; but the obstacles were greater than ever, yet my confidence in the lord, that he would remove the difficulties in his own time, was greater than ever also. it was on july that i said to a sister, being led to it by the certain prospect of one of the dear labourers in the orphan-houses going to leave; "well, my soul is at peace. the lord�s time is not yet come, but, when it is come, he will blow away all these obstacles, as chaff is blown away before the wind." it was only one quarter of an hour after, when the following paper was put into my hands, whereby i obtained power over l. s. d. " st, the poor brethren and sisters of our dear lord and saviour. in connexion with the employment-fund or otherwise [i.e. might be given away in connexion with the employment-fund or otherwise.] nd, sending help in the gospel of christ to the dear brethren in germany, or publishing the narrative. rd, the dear orphan-children. th, to complete the payment of the expenses incurred by building a chapel for the meeting of the saints at barnstaple. i leave the sums, to be used in these several objects, under the lord, to the judgment of the lord�s servant, brother müller, knowing assuredly that he whose steward he is will direct and guide him in this and every other matter.--his holy name be praised for the real joy i feel today in doing a thing, which a few weeks since was a trying act of obedience. surely, the statutes of the lord are right, rejoicing the heart. in keeping of them there is great reward.--july , ." thus three of the hinderances were at once removed; for i was by this sum furnished with travelling expenses, and with what might be required for my stay in germany, had means to publish copies of my narrative, and was able to leave means behind for the work in bristol, sufficient for at least two months. when i received this note, i was not in the least excited, but took the circumstance as quietly as if it were a matter which could not be otherwise. i had been sure, that, when the lord�s time was come, he would send the means, and according to my faith it was now granted to me; and a proof, that up to the last i did believe, was, that when the money came, it did not surprise me. the l. s. d. was not portioned out (except what was sent to barnstaple), till my return, as i could not know how much each object might require. it was thus spent. , for the chapel at barnstaple, l. s. d. , for poor saints, l. s., spent in a great measure in providing them or their children with linen and clothes, and for the employment-fund, l. , for publishing copies of the two parts of my narrative in german, our travelling expenses to and from stuttgart, our stay for nearly seven months in germany, and other expenses connected with my service in wirtemberg, l. s. d. , the remainder of the l. s. d., being l. s. d., i put to the orphan-fund, not that so much was in hand on my return from germany; for i had drawn on the strength of what was in the hands of my bankers. shortly after i had received the l. s. d. on july , the lord was pleased to remove the other difficulties also; for a sister was found for the matron�s place in the new orphan-house, and after this the lord helped me through the work connected with fitting up the house for the reception of the children. the lord likewise made it plain to the sister who had purposed to leave her situation, that she should remain in bristol. thus all the difficulties were by prayer and faith removed, after we had been, day by day, more than fifty days waiting upon the lord. on aug. rd, i received a valuable donation of plate, jewellery, china, linen., books, etc., which was a still further proof of the lord�s readiness to supply all that might be needed during my absence in germany, and also of his having heard our requests that he would be pleased to send in means before my departure. most of these articles were readily disposed of, so that, even before i had set out, about l. had come in for them. on aug. , , my dear wife and i left bristol in company of a german sister, miss w. the latter, together with a swiss brother, had been led to see the truth of believers� baptism, and had much wished to be baptized; but as the baptist church at stuttgart had refused them baptism, except they would promise never to take the lord�s supper any more with unbaptized believers, or with those who belonged to any state church, to which they could not conscientiously submit, they had undertaken the journey of nearly miles to come to bristol, to be baptized by me, as they both had read the translation of my narrative in manuscript, and thus knew that we receive all who believe in the lord jesus, though they should not agree with us in all parts of truth. they had arrived in bristol about a fortnight before my departure for germany, and were baptized at bethesda a week after their arrival, when i gave an address in german, and used the words of the german translation of the holy scriptures which contain the institution of baptism, as neither the brother nor sister understood english. the brother, who had been a teacher and cashier in a considerable establishment in wirtemberg for educating young gentlemen, and who had lost his situation when his views with reference to baptism became known, remained in england as teacher of the french and german languages, and the sister travelled back with us to germany. during the time of my absence from bristol, i kept no journal, and therefore i cannot give a minute account of all that transpired, and that might be interesting to the believing reader; but as some letters which i wrote to one of my sisters-in-law are preserved, and also all the letters which i wrote to the brethren in bristol, among whom i labour, i shall be able by giving these letters, to furnish a pretty full account of my service in germany up to my return. the following letter to my sister-in-law gives some account of a great part of our journey. weinheim, aug. , . my dear l., thus far we have now been brought through the goodness of the lord. if you look at the map where mannheim is, you will, i think, find a small town, called weinheim, the place where we are now at mrs. m�s. weinheim forms with heidelberg and mannheim a triangle, about miles from mannheim, and the same from heidelberg. on the lord�s day evening last i wrote to you from rotterdam, which letter, i hope, you safely received. on monday morning at seven, aug. , we left rotterdam, with sister w. in one of the rhine steamers, in which we sailed till about half-past eight in the evening, when we arrived at emmerich, the first prussian town, where we stopped for the night. the weather was beautiful, as indeed it has been every day of this week. there was nothing remarkable as to natural things, except a large noble river, and on the banks of the river clean pretty cottages of the dutch people. the lord enabled me to do a little for him. i distributed german tracts among those who could read german; but many of them were dutch persons, who could understand me in speaking to them, but could not read german. i had a long but affecting conversation with four jews, who, though disagreeing among themselves as to their religious views, were all agreed in their complete rejection of jesus of nazareth, as the messiah, and, as usual, blasphemed. i conversed with many persons, but found only one aged person, who, i think, as far as i could learn, was a christian. after having given him a tract, having heard my testimony for christ, he came with tears and asked me to sell him another tract. after having told him that i gladly gave him the tract, he then asked me to give him a third and a fourth for the old clergyman and the schoolmaster of his place, and said, oh! if you could but stop, how glad the old clergyman, a pious man, would be to see you.--there were two other interesting things that day. very soon after we had started, perhaps two hours after, a gentleman left, to whom i gave a tract in german and english, as he could also read english. he then told me he had seen me reading the bible, but did not like to interrupt me. i told him my errand to germany. his reply was: "brother, the lord bless thee." on asking him who he was, he told me he was a baptist minister at amsterdam, and on his way to the brethren at utrecht, in holland. he now much regretted not to have had conversation with me. in the afternoon, a gentleman, an officer on pension, who, with his lady, had heard my confession for christ, while i was conversing with a person sitting close by, asked me very politely, on his leaving, for a tract.--there were two little cabins in the steamer, each with two berths, one of which i engaged for mary and myself it being much cheaper than to go on shore, though we should not do so again, as our sleep was greatly interrupted, there being much noise till twelve o�clock, and commencing again soon after three in the mornings, so that for three nights our sleep was greatly interrupted. yet i do not mention this in the way of complaint, for we have only to sing of mercy. however, as in spiritual things, so in natural things, we learn daily. the noise only arose from the needful occupations, but it could scarcely have been greater than it was, if persons had purposely tried to disturb us.--at half-past five on tuesday morning the steamer began again to ply. while i was sitting on deck, between five and six, reading the bible, a dutchman came to me to speak about the things of god. he understood me pretty well, but i understood him only imperfectly. he questioned me about the connexion between faith and works, and how man can believe, being a fallen being in adam. i fear it was more intellectual than heart-work with him, but i made use of the opportunity, to preach jesus before all, who through this conversation had been drawn round us. this day also i had opportunities of giving away tracts, and of speaking to several, particularly to a young prussian soldier, and other young men. but all were dead. most listened and received the tracts, but there were some who boldly rejected. on the second day we sailed from half-past five in the morning till about half-past ten in the evening, when we arrived at cologne, where we stopped. our german sister went on shore, and took leave of us, to go on by another company�s vessel, for which she had previously paid; dear mary and i remained alone on board. the third day we had very few passengers on board. two irish gentlemen and an english gentleman came on board, to whom i gave english tracts. one of them soon left, and the other two declared themselves on the lord�s side. two other jews, who had come on board, likewise rejected the truth, yet i conversed with them till they blasphemed. this third day we sailed from ten in the morning till about half-past seven in the evening, when we arrived at the prussian fortress coblentz. mary and i now took a little walk. in the town i gave some tracts to a prussian soldier, for himself and some of his comrades, for having given us some information; and in going back to the steamer we heard an english lady before us speaking english to a little boy who was with her. we joined her, and offered her some english tracts, which she accepted, also some german tracts for the roman catholic servant. today we have seen beautiful scenery. fourth day, aug. , one of the irish gentlemen asked me to read to him and his friend a chapter in the bible. this day also we glided along through most beautiful scenery. travelling is a very dangerous thing. i would exhort every one, especially to be aware what he is about, before he sets out on a journey. much as i had prayed about this journey, and sure as i have been and still am, that the lord sent me on this errand, i was yet made to feel how difficult it is to keep the heart in the right frame whilst looking at such beautiful scenery. it surpassed all i have before seen of the kind. i suppose we have not had less than forty instances of ruined castles, fortresses, &c., brought before us this day; the ancient roman glory--the glory of the german knights, and of the german emperors, whose works, castles and fortresses we saw in ruins, how loudly does it speak of the changeableness of all earthly things, and yet how pernicious often the effect upon the new nature, while looking at these things. the rhine is wide, the castles often quite close to the river, and hundreds of millions of vines, you might say, without exaggeration, and tens of thousands of vineyards all along the river for perhaps a hundred miles or more. it is beautiful; but how poor, how very poor this beauty in comparison with jesus! through grace i would not pay one shilling to see it again, nor go one mile to see it again, for the sake of seeing it.--on the fourth evening, after having sailed that day from seven in the morning, we arrived about five or six o�clock at mayence, sister w. having joined us again. we found it very refreshing to have a few hours quiet in an hotel, and then all three together took a walk. in this town, where printing was invented, god�s precious word is not valued. almost all are romanists. it is a large, magnificent, and busy town, and a strong fortress. the railroad also was just in sight on the opposite side of the river. there was scarcely a trace to be seen of that poverty which you see so often in large towns in england, but all bespoke abundance, though i know there is not the abundance of the english gold. yesterday morning, aug. , we ought to have left at eight o�clock by the steamer, in which we had taken our places from rotterdam to mannheim, but the steamer, by which we ought to have gone, did not arrive. we waited hour after hour, till at last, near four o�clock in the afternoon, we left mayence for mannheim by a steamer of another company, having thus to lose the money we had previously paid. we were on board of this steamer about seven hours, till near eleven in the evening, when we arrived at mannheim. there were at least english passengers on board, besides many germans and french. i distributed english and german tracts, and had conversation with several. there was a dear young sister, a french lady, with whom i had much conversation. she had been with her little brother to a bathing place near the rhine. i saw her reading the epistle to the romans, and thus took the opportunity to converse with her. she had been at school in paris till within a few months, and is now, as she has no parents, living with her aunt, a pious woman near strasbourg. it was very refreshing to be able to help this solitary one, who knew no one on board, and who was very glad to have a little counsel. in parting i gave her a copy of my narrative, some english tracts, a german tract, and an orphan report, as she has begun to learn english, and has a friend, a believer, who understands english well. i had also a pretty long conversation with a german young gentleman, a roman catholic, about the way to heaven. this morning, aug. , we called on our sister n. at mannheim, if it might please the lord to use us to benefit and restore her soul. we found out her residence after some inquiry, and she seemed very glad to see us. after having our passports signed, and taken up some money from the banker, we left mannheim at two o�clock in the afternoon, and arrived here at four, where we were very affectionately received by brother t. h. and dear mrs. m. we are now staying in an old building, formerly a roman catholic cloister, where i this evening expounded the scriptures. aug. , . this morning i expounded the scriptures at family prayer in english, then at eleven o�clock we broke bread in the cloister, being five in number, and this afternoon, at four o�clock, i expounded again, when altogether english gentlemen and ladies, who are staying here, were present. tomorrow morning i purpose to see the pious lutheran clergyman resident here, and about one o�clock, the lord willing, we shall leave by the mail and arrive at stuttgart on tuesday evening, aug. . the heat has been exceedingly great all the last week, so that we have constantly been obliged to sleep with the window wide open. farewell, dear helper. our love to dear sister e. from whom we shall be very glad to hear, and to whom you will please to communicate all in our letters that may be interesting to her. our tender love also to our own dear child. how gladly should we see and kiss her, but though we cannot do that, yet we pray for her. love also to s. my especial love to all my dear fellow-labourers in the church. my love to all the dear brethren and sisters in the orphan-houses and day-schools. our love to all the saints. your affectionate brother, george mÜller. we are now just miles from bristol. i make a few remarks in connexion with this letter. i found it injurious to my inner man that for three nights i had had very little sleep. my own experience has been almost invariably, that if i have not the needful sleep, my spiritual enjoyment and strength is greatly affected by it. i judge it of great moment that the believer, in travelling, should seek as much as possible to refrain from travelling by night, or from travelling in such a way as that he is deprived of the needful night�s rest; for if he does not, he will be unable with renewed bodily and mental strength to give himself to prayer and meditation, and the reading of the holy scriptures, and he will surely feel the pernicious effects of this all the day long. there may occur cases when travelling by night cannot be avoided; but, if it can, though we should seem to lose time by it, and though it should cost more money, i would most affectionately and solemnly recommend the refraining from night travelling; for, in addition to our drawing beyond measure upon our bodily strength, we must be losers spiritually. the next thing i would advise with reference to travelling is, with all one�s might to seek morning by morning, before setting out, to take time for meditation and prayer, and reading the word of god; for although we are always exposed to temptation, yet we are so especially in travelling. travelling is one of the devil�s especial opportunities for tempting us. think of that, dear fellow believers. seek always to ascertain carefully the mind of god, before you begin any thing; but do so in particular before you go a journey, so that you may be quite sure that it is the will of god that you should undertake that journey, lest you should needlessly expose yourself to one of the special opportunities of the devil to ensnare you. so far from envying those who have a carriage and horses at their command, or an abundance of means, so that they are not hindered from travelling for want of means, let us, who are not thus situated, rather thank god that in this particular we are not exposed to the temptation of needing to be less careful in ascertaining the will of god, before we set out on a journey. stuttgart, aug. , . my dear l--, my last letter i finished on the th, and posted it on the st at weinheim. on. monday morning, aug. , i saw a pious clergyman at weinheim, a true brother, and a nice man. but we came, without my seeking it, upon the subject of separation from the state church, for which i could not be sorry, as i had an opportunity of stating truth to him which it may please the lord to use hereafter. mrs. ---- gave us a rich silk dress, quite new, and a few silver articles for the orphans. so even here the lord makes it manifest that he is mindful of this work. about one o�clock in the afternoon we left weinheim. at heidelberg, about ten miles from there, a person came into the mail in which mary and i were, whom i found out in a few moments to be a brother; and a few minutes afterwards the widow of a much tried pious clergyman, who herself also loves the lord jesus, seated herself likewise. we had now, from three o�clock till about half-past nine in the evening, when we arrived at heilbronn, a most pleasant and profitable time, being all four believers. i told this brother much about england, and also about the orphans, and on separating from him he gave me a gold coin, about seventeen shillings in value, for the orphans. it was indeed a most precious gift to me, and a fresh proof in what a variety of ways the lord is able to send help. we remained the night at heilbronn, that we might not have to travel the night, left the next morning at eleven o�clock, and reached the apartments of our sister g. about eight in the evening on aug. . we were received in the most affectionate way, and she has done every thing to make us comfortable; but the very great heat and the change of living have hitherto drawn upon both of us. i think, that, with the lord�s blessing, we shall be better after a few days. indeed i have been rather better yesterday and today. on the same evening of our arrival here i went to the post-office and found your first letter, and last monday morning i received your second also. the next afternoon, wednesday, aug. , i went to brother dr. b., with whom i spent about two hours; and in the evening from half-past eight till ten o�clock i met the four elders of the baptist church at his house. the next evening from half-past eight to ten was a meeting of the little church, which consists of about brethren and sisters, of whom almost all were present. i stated the object of my coming to germany, in so far as it was wise to do so, and also a little about the church in bristol. the next evening, aug. th, i expounded the scriptures from half-past eight to ten o�clock. all the meetings are in the evenings from half-past eight to ten, so that we generally come home at half-past ten, and go to bed about half-past eleven. persons have their supper before they go to the meetings. on saturday evening we had again a meeting, at which i began to give an account of the lord�s dealings with me, from the beginning, as being the best means of leading me to speak about many important truths. it was desired that i should expound the scriptures at all their usual meetings, i.e. twice on the lord�s days, and twice in the week; and, on all the other evenings, there should be extra meetings, at which i should give an account of the lord�s dealings with me. on the lord�s day therefore i expounded twice with much help, feeling scarcely any difficulty with reference to the german language, though i have not before preached in it for fourteen years and a half. on monday, aug. th, i went on again with my narrative, and last night i expounded again with much help. but now, as the truth is beginning to be spoken, the devil will also begin to seek to work. but the lord jesus will triumph. there is a great crisis before us. several have been already attracted by the preciousness of the truth, and others already wish i had never come to stuttgart. they are not asleep over what i say, and that gives me pleasure. i fear it will come in a very few days to a storm, except the lord prevent. nor am i quite sure whether the police will allow me quietly to work here, when it gets known what i am doing, as the liberty is not so great as i had thought. but it would have been worth while to have come here, only to have spoken these few times. there is now here on a visit to us an english sister, mrs. f. your affectionate brother, george mÜller. immediately on my arrival at stuttgart, yea, the very first hour that i was there, so heavy a trial of faith came upon me, that it was one of the sharpest trials which i ever have had. the cause of it i am not at liberty to mention. but so much as this, it was in connexion with my going to stuttgart, and, humanly speaking, the thing would not have occurred, had i not gone thither. the trial was of a double character; for it was not only the thing itself, great as the trial of my faith was on that account; but it was as though the question were put to me in the strongest way:--are you willing to make sacrifices in connexion with your service here? and do you really lean upon me, the living god, in your service here? but thanks to the lord, satan did not prevail. my heart was enabled to say almost immediately:--"all things work together for good to them that love god." i know this also does work together for my good. i know it is the very best thing for me.--thus peace was almost immediately restored to me, and i was enabled to leave the matter quietly in the hands of the lord. nor was it many days before i could say from my inmost soul, if even then i could have had it in my power to alter the thing, which occasioned the great trial, and the consequences of which were then still remaining, and were remaining all the time while i was in germany, yet i would not have wished it to be altered. and since my return to england i have again and again had reason to admire the goodness of the lord in having allowed this thing to be as it was, for it proved in the end in every way good to me. may the believing reader leave himself more and more unreservedly in the hands of the lord, and he will find it to be just as the writer has found it, i. e. that our greatest trials often turn out to be our greatest blessings.--had i gone, however, in my own strength to stuttgart, and had i not been led to treasure up so many petitions in heaven before i went, i should, in all human probability, have been quite overcome by this very first trial. this was not the only trial which befel me there, but they were so many, so great, and so long continued, that i required every particle of experience, wisdom, and grace, humanly speaking, which the lord had been pleased to intrust me with. i could not but again and again admire the wisdom of the lord in having sent me only in the year to germany, and not several years before, as i often had been advised to go long before i did. for had i gone without having the experience which i had gathered in my service among the saints during the / years previously, and without having had my soul exercised before god in trials of patience, and hope, and faith, as it has been since november , humanly speaking, i should have been overwhelmed. but, as it was, my soul, through grace, having learned to deal with god about every thing, i was sustained by casting all my care upon him, and looking to him for help, and expecting help from him, though every thing looked dark in every way. and thus it came, that all the difficulties were overcome one after another. but more about this when i come to relate some of the peculiar difficulties in connexion with my service at stuttgart. i also mention here, that during the eight years previous to my going to germany to labour there, it had been laid on my heart, and on the hearts of some other brethren among us, to ask the lord that he would be pleased to honour us, as a body of believers, by calling forth from our midst brethren, for carrying the truth into foreign lands. but this prayer seemed to remain unanswered. now, however, the time was come when the lord was about to answer it, and i, on whose heart particularly this matter had been laid, was to be the first to carry forth the truth from among us. about that very time the lord called our dear brother and sister barrington from among us, to go to demerara, to labour there in connexion with our esteemed brother strong, and our dear brother and sister espenett, to go to switzerland. both these dear brethren and sisters left very shortly after i had gone to germany. but this was not all our much valued brother mordal, who had commended himself to the saints by his unwearied faithful service among us for twelve years, had from aug. , , (the day on which brothers strong and barrington sailed from bristol for demerara), his mind likewise exercised about service there, and went out from among us eleven months after. he, together with myself, had had it particularly laid upon his heart, during the eight years previously, to ask the lord again and again to call labourers from among us for foreign service. of all persons he, the father of a large family, and about years of age, seemed the least likely to be called to that work; but god did call him. he went, laboured a little while in demerara, and then, on january , , the lord took him to his rest.--when we ask god for a thing, such as that he would be pleased to raise up labourers for his harvest, or send means for the carrying on of his work, the honest question to be put to our hearts should be this: am i willing to go, if he should call me i am i willing to give according to my ability? for we may be the very persons whom the lord will call for the work, or whose means he may wish to employ. the reader will notice, in the preceding letter, that all the meetings in the evening were very late. the time of the meetings was one of the many difficulties with which i had to contend; for if the times had been on purpose ill chosen, they could scarcely have been worse. on the lord�s day mornings the meetings were at nine; thus the mothers of families either could not come at all, or had to hurry through their work, and come without having had any time to themselves. on the lord�s day afternoons they were at two, when the heat of the sun in the summer, which is most oppressive, and the effect of the dinner, both combined together to make the persons sleepy, so that individuals not more than half a yard from me, though interested about what was going on, were sometimes fast asleep. in the evenings the meetings commenced at half-past eight, when persons were not only worn out from working nearly up to that time, but also, in general, had just had a heavy supper, which was sure to make them sleepy, thought they might be never so desirous to listen. but, by the grace of god, none of these things moved me. i knew the lord had sent me to these dear saints, and that, therefore, by his help, i could overcome all these difficulties. and these difficulties were overcome; for after a little while i was able to show to the dear brethren and sisters that the lord�s day morning meeting was too early, and we had it half an hour later. the lord�s day afternoon meeting at two o�clock was entirely given up, on account of its being an unseasonable time, and it being better to have only two meetings instead of three, as almost every one could attend two meetings, which was quite enough for one day, and gave some time for parents to be with their children, or gave some more time than usual for reading the scriptures, a point at which i aimed from the beginning. for when i came to stuttgart, i found it just as i have found it in some places in england on my first beginning to labour there, even that the dear brethren and sisters had little relish for the word of god, and as a proof of this never referred to it at the meetings; but, before i left stuttgart, i had the joy of seeing either all, or almost all, having the word of god open before them whilst i was expounding it.--instead of the afternoon meeting at two, we met at four o�clock, when the oppression of the heat in the summer is not so great as at two, whereby also the lateness of the evening meeting was avoided on the lord�s days. also on the week evenings we had the meetings half an hour sooner, that is at o�clock instead of half-past , and i affectionately advised the dear saints to take a very light supper on those evenings when we met, that blessing might not be hindered. earlier than eight on the week evenings, and later than half-past nine on the lord�s day mornings, we could not have the meetings, on account of the habits of the country. it can scarcely be perceived by brethren in england how great the difficulties are, with which brethren have to contend in many foreign countries in seeking to spread the truth, not only on account of the climate, or the police, etc., but also on account of the habits of the people; so that i would affectionately beseech all, who take a hearty interest in the spread of the truth, to help by their prayers all who labour in the word and doctrine in foreign lands, so that through the power of the holy ghost they may be enabled to overcome all those hinderances. i now insert my first letter to the brethren in bristol, written by me from stuttgart, soon after my arrival, which will show to the reader my position there more clearly. the letter is, with the exception of a very slight verbal alteration, which i made in revising it for the press, just as it was written. stuttgart, sept. , . to the brethren meeting at bethesda and salem chapels, bristol. my dear brethren, it was yesterday four weeks since i left bristol, and i now write these few lines that you may know how i am situated in the service, on account of which i left england, in order that thus you may the better be able to remember me in your prayers, according to my need. my journey to this place was full of mercies and blessings in a variety of ways, but i must delay giving you the particulars, till it may please the lord to allow me again the privilege of labouring among you. i arrived at stuttgart on tuesday evening, aug. . on the next evening i met the five brethren who labour here in the little church. on thursday, friday, and saturday also i had meetings with the little church, at which i either expounded the holy scriptures or communicated to the brethren things about bristol, which might be profitable to them. the following lord�s day i spoke twice at their meetings, and in the evening i broke bread in my room with a few saints, as the baptist church break bread only once a month. on monday and tuesday evenings i continued to meet the whole little church. up to that time all went on quietly; but i knew well that it was only the quietness before a storm, and that shortly a hot battle would commence. and thus it was. on wednesday last week, i.e. aug. , i was requested to meet the elders of the church. when we came together, the brother who appears to take the lead among them, and who is the only one who speaks at their meetings, told me that the time was drawing nigh when the church would take the lord�s supper, and that they had a rule which they considered to be scriptural, which was, neither to take the lord�s supper with any one who was not himself baptized by immersion after he had believed, nor with any one who, (though thus baptized himself) would take the lord�s supper with any who had not thus been baptized. nor did they take the lord�s supper with any brother who would take it with any yet belonging to the state church. after this brother had stated to me his views, i stated my own convictions from the holy scriptures on these points, and i was quietly heard for about an hour and a half whilst i was speaking without interruption. the lord was so with me, that when i came home i did not remember any one thing that i could have wished to have stated which had not been stated. the whole having taken up more than two hours, and it being now past ten o�clock in the evening, we proposed to meet again on the next day, thursday afternoon, at five o�clock. we did so, and several other brethren besides the elders were present. the subjects were now discussed from the scriptures. brother--maintained that no one was born again except he was baptized, no one had a right to say his sins were forgiven, except he were baptized, and also that the apostles were not born again until the day of pentecost. whilst seeking to defend these unscriptural statements, he also affirmed that our lord himself had been born again at his baptism, and that the last three years of his life he had not been under the law, but had ceased to be under the law when he was baptized. i had been accustomed during the eight days that i had been going in and out among the brethren to hear all sorts of unscriptural statements, into which they had fallen through laying an undue stress upon baptism, and especially through considering baptism as a covenant into which god enters with the believer; but when now the foundation truths of the gospel were also attacked, when of our holy lord it was said that he was born again at his baptism, (which made him out to be like one of us), and when it was said that he had not been under the law during the last three years of his life;--i saw it needful first of all to see whether we were agreed about the foundation truths of the gospel. but as we had now been together from five to half-past seven in the evening, and as at half-past eight the public meeting began at which i had to speak, i proposed to separate and to meet again on friday afternoon from five to seven. this was done, i now first of all pressed the first points. brother--stated in the presence of the elders and six or seven other brethren, that he had made an unscriptural statement, and that our lord needed not to be born again. i then went to the other point, whether the lord was under the law up to the time when he died on the cross, or only up to the time when he was baptized. many passages were brought forward to show that our lord was under the law up to the last moments of his earthly life, which is clear from gal. iii. , phil. ii. , heb. x. - , and many other passages. at last he was convinced about this also and acknowledged his error. but many other points, equally unscriptural, he was unwilling to renounce, such as, that baptism is a covenant with god, and that there cannot be forgiveness of sins except individuals have been baptized after believing. he also maintained that i was sinning in breaking bread with unbaptized believers, and with those who belong to the state church, and that if the church here allowed me to break bread with them, they would be defiled, as i made myself a partaker of the sins of others, which sins i brought with me; and other such unscriptural statements were made by this brother. thus we spent again about two hours and a half in intercourse, whilst this teaching elder and one of the other elders considered me unfit to take the lord�s supper with them on the coming lord�s day, but the two other elders and several other brethren who were present were quite ready to break bread with me, and with any who love our lord jesus. brother--now said, there must be a separation. i then entreated the brethren not to think of a separation. i represented to them what a scandal it would be to the ungodly, and what a stumbling block also to the believers who are yet in the state church. i further told them that i had not come to stuttgart to make a separation between the brethren, but only to lend them a helping hand according to the ability which the lord might give me. i lastly said: as we have now spent more than six hours together in intercourse, let us meet together tomorrow evening some hours for prayer. to this the brethren agreed, and we accordingly met on saturday evening at eight o�clock for prayer. the subject of our prayer was, that the lord would be pleased to unite us together in the truth, and make it manifest on which side the truth was. after we had thus prayed for about two hours, brother--prayed at the end, and related (in what he called prayer) his experience before his conversion, his conversion, his being convinced about baptism, my coming to stuttgart, his readiness to receive the unbaptized in consequence of my intercourse with him, and how then a great horror had befallen him, and that now he had come back to his former view, only to receive the baptized, and how now his peace had been restored to him, and that he purposed to live and die in this belief. when we arose i told him that the lord himself had decided the matter, and had shown on whose side the truth was; for that he, if in peace, as he had said, could not thus have related his experience, and called it prayer. this prayer tended greatly to show the other brethren that he has not the truth.--i should have stated that i said to the brethren at the commencement of this meeting, that, as i and my wife were the only persons on whose account they could not break bread on the coming day, and as nothing ought to be done in a hurry, to whatever conclusion they might come, we would gladly withdraw ourselves, and break bread in our room. this was not accepted, as there was much disunion among the brethren, as they told me, and had been before i came, and that my coming had now only brought matters to a point. i stated once more, at the end of the meeting on saturday evening, sept. , that we ought to dread a separation, and that we ought to pray that we might be of one mind, and that i was ready to meet them by day or by night for prayer or searching the word on the subject. thus we separated. the next morning, sept. , i spoke again at the meeting, having been by all the elders requested at my arrival here to expound the scriptures at all their meetings, or to communicate to them any thing that might be profitable. on this morning i spoke principally on the lord�s supper, and on what fits for it; on what is meant by feeding upon jesus, and what fits for it; on the point that it is not a part of truth, but jesus round whom believers should unite together; and on the truth, that, if any one is a believer, he is entitled to all the privileges of the saints. these points i had not chosen on purpose for that morning, but they came in course in speaking on exodus xii., on which chapter i had spoken four times before. after i had finished, i was going to pray at the close, when i was interrupted by brother--, the principal and teaching elder (as to outward authority). he stated that he must contradict me, for i had said: , the bread and wine in the lord�s supper meant the body and blood of our lord, whilst, as he believed, and as the word said, it was the real body and blood of our lord. , he believed that as circumcision made a man an israelite, and fitted him thus for the partaking of the paschal lamb, so without baptism no one is fitted to partake of the lord�s supper, which is set forth by the paschal lamb; whilst i had said that every one who believes in jesus was by this his faith made a spiritual israelite, and had a right to the lord�s supper and to all the privileges of the children of god. he stated further, that this was against the rules of their church, and that, as i took the lord�s supper with unbaptized believers, and with those who had not quite left the state church, i made myself partaker of their sins, and that therefore, as being defiled with these sins, i could not be admitted to the lord�s supper. from the commencement of his speaking he was very irritated, but now continued in a passionate way: i am ruler in this church, and you (addressing himself to me) are no longer permitted to speak at our meetings. moreover he said, "whosoever takes the lord�s supper with müller will no longer be considered as a member of the church;" and then in anger he left the meeting. during all this time, the lord, in the riches of his grace, kept me in perfect peace and calmness. i answered brother--not a single word. when he was gone i fell upon my knees, asked the lord�s blessing upon the word which i had spoken, asked the lord to forgive brother--, and to teach me what i should do now. after this i dismissed the meeting. when all was over, one of the elders, brother r., one who seeks after truth, and rejoices in the true liberty which the lord enables me to preach, and one who had been sighing under the iron hand of brother--for a long time; this brother, i say, requested me before all, according to the first arrangement, to continue the meetings and to tell them all that might be profitable to them. he was, however, immediately interrupted by another elder, who sees with brother--, and told that he had no right to do so. i then stated again that i had only come from england in love, and that i would not force myself upon them. i then left.--by the time of the afternoon meeting i had received light from the lord that i should not go to the meeting. i saw that as i had been cast out, together with all the other brethren who owned me as a brother, and as all my tenderness in seeking to avoid a separation had been useless, i had now on the other hand to go steadfastly forward, leaving it with the lord to decide on which side the truth was. i therefore remained at home. the two elders who were won for the truth, went to the meeting in the afternoon, at which brother--sought to disprove what i had said, and after the meeting they stated that they were purposed to own me and all who believe in the lord jesus as brethren in the breaking of bread.--on the same evening seventeen of us met in my room for the breaking of bread, as we were in peace; of these seventeen twelve were belonging to this little baptist church, two swiss brethren, one english sister, my wife and i. we had a peaceful meeting. thus the lord so soon, so unexpectedly, has brought the matter to a point, though in a painful way. the matter would be, however, more painful, did i not see it of great importance that the disciples who hold the truth should be separate from those who hold such fearful errors as: the forgiveness of sins received through baptism; baptism a covenant between us and god; regeneration through baptism and no regeneration without it; the actual death of the old man through baptism, it being drowned, so that only the body and the new nature are alive; and many other fearful errors, to which these poor deluded brethren have been led by laying such undue stress upon baptism. as to poor brother ----, he had denied some months since the inspiration of luke, the acts, and the epistle of james, which point he only gave up when several brethren stated that they must leave on that account, and he has fallen into many other grievous errors; but there has been no one who has had sufficient spiritual courage steadfastly to resist him. now there is joy with many that the lord has set them free.--on monday last, sept. th, i had again a meeting with the brethren and sisters whose eyes the lord has opened, and others also came, not belonging to this baptist church. on. wednesday i had again a meeting, and today, sept. , and tomorrow evening i purpose to meet the brethren again.--all is only a beginning. but there is a beginning. that which i longed for, the chief object of my journey to the continent, that there might be also in germany a little living church, but based on scriptural principles, which might be a light to other places; the beginning of that has now been made, but it is a small beginning. the minds of the dear brethren have been so darkened through this mixture of error and truth, that about every thing they need instruction. however, the lord will help further. i am of good cheer, because i know that the lord is on my side, and that he has sent me here, and that he keeps me here. how gladly would i leave this very day, were it his will; but i know that at present i ought to labour here.--i have so circumstantially and minutely related all to you, that you may the better know how to help me with your prayers. the errors and sins of our brother ---- i have only related, that you the more clearly may see how my coming here is of god, in order that these dear children of god, who have suffered so much for the lord�s sake, and who are sincere, though in much error, might be led on and delivered out of these snares of the devil. but many, unaccustomed to examine scripture, hold fast the former ways; yet those, who are sincere, the lord will deliver after awhile. how long i may continue here, i know not; but the moment i see the lord�s leading to england, i shall be delighted to go back. at present my temptation is not to stay longer than i ought to stay; but rather to leave sooner than i ought to leave. help me, therefore, dear brethren, that i maybe willing to do and suffer all the will of god here. as to further particulars, the lord willing, you shall have them either verbally or by writing. should any of you like to write to me, or my dear wife, we shall be glad to hear from you; and if the letters be written on thin paper and left at my house, they will be forwarded to me. we remember you daily in our prayers, as you also, no doubt, remember us. may the lord bring us in his own time again together in peace. pray earnestly for all the brethren who labour among you. my dear wife salutes you. the saints here salute you. i am, dear brethren., affectionately your brother and servant, george mÜller. i make the following remarks in connexion with this letter. i. in the beginning it is mentioned, that on the evening of the day after my arrival i met with the five brethren who laboured in the baptist church at stuttgart, that is with the teaching elder or president, the three other elders, and the brother who acted as deacon. at this very meeting, nay at the very commencement even of this meeting, i saw what a difficult position mine would be, and what abundant help i should need from god. that which led me to think so was this. during the day that i had been at stuttgart, i had perceived, that all the brethren and sisters called one another "thou," which is in germany the sign of great familiarity, and which is used between very intimate friends or between parents and children, or husband and wife, or brothers and sisters of the same family, &c. here now i found that males and females of all ages and different stations in life called one another "thou." when i therefore met with those five brethren i stated the substance of the following objections, against this practice, not however in the form of objections, but either in the way of affectionate inquiries or brotherly suggestions. my objections against it were these: , i did not think it would have, in general, a desirable effect upon believers of different sexes to speak to one another thus in the way of so great familiarity. , i did not think it would work well for brethren and sisters in service to speak thus to their master and mistress, especially if it should happen that the mistress was an unbeliever, and therefore not in fellowship with them, and a sister were as a servant to say to her master "thou." , i thought it would not work happily and healthfully for a very young brother and sister to be expected to call aged brethren and sisters "thou," as if on terms of great familiarity, from the moment they were baptized and thus received among them into fellowship. , but that which far more strongly operated upon my mind than any of the previous reasons was this, it seemed to me to substitute an outward form for the inward power and reality. i stated to them, that if the calling one another "thou" were the result of realizing that all the children of god have one and the self-same father in heaven, that they are really, and not nominally only, brothers and sisters of the same heavenly family, and heirs of the same precious inheritance, and bought by the same precious blood of the lord jesus; if it were the result of these truths being enjoyed and realized within, i should see not the least reason against it, in general; but i feared that it was merely an outward thing, judging from the fact, that however it might have been with a brother and sister previously, the moment they were baptized they were called "thou" by every one of their number, and they were expected to call every one "thou" in return. and i judged it to be a pernicious thing, if thus the "thou" was forced upon persons; for on the part of those who were comparatively high in life it would be considered sooner or later an unpleasant burden, and on the part of the poorer classes it would lead to carnal gratification in being able to treat those in the way of great familiarity who were considerably above them with reference to this life. the thing itself, then, if done from right motives, from the entering into our position as saints with reference to god and to each other, would be most precious; but the thing done, merely because it was customary among them, and observed in order to keep up uniformity, would work most perniciously.--in reply to my remarks of this kind, it was stated, that the use of the word "thou" was scriptural, that in the holy scriptures we never read, when one single person is spoken to, "you," but always "thou." to this i answered that it was so, but that we must remember that in the holy scriptures we find governors and kings addressed by poor men in the term "thou;" for this was the only form of speech in use, whilst in germany, where the "thou" is not used except to denote near natural relationship or familiarity, it ought not to be used, except there be that inwardly corresponding to what we outwardly seek to convey by the term; else it will lead to formality, if not to hypocrisy, and sooner or later the pernicious tendency of this outward thing, to which there is nothing inwardly corresponding, will most surely be felt. it appeared to me far better not to make any profession of familiarity and intimacy by the use of the "thou," when the heart does not go along with it, and rather to continue to say to one another "you" till there be the drawing of heart to heart by the love of jesus, than to force the "thou" upon the brethren and sisters. i felt the more strongly about this, as i had witnessed more than once among believers in england the injurious effects of doing things because others did them, or because it was the custom, or because they were persuaded into acts of outward self-denial, or giving up things whilst the heart did not go along with it, and whilst the outward act was not the result of the inward powerful working of the holy ghost, and the happy entering into our fellowship with the father and with the son. i had seen, when these things had been done from wrong motives, that there had been regret afterwards, and the returning back as much as possible to what had been given up or forsaken. moreover, though i had been only one day in stuttgart when we had this meeting, yet i had heard enough of the state of things, to make me think the calling one another "thou" was in many instances a mere outward form.--my brotherly suggestions were not received, but strongly opposed by two or three out of the five brethren, and it was pretty plainly hinted, that, perhaps, i was too proud to be called "thou;" and the moment i perceived that, i said that i wished every brother, the very poorest of them, to call me "thou" (and i encouraged them in doing so, by calling every one "thou"), but that i could not, with my light, call any of the sisters "thou," nor did i do so up to the day of my departure. there was another thing of the same character, that is the kiss. in germany, as on the continent generally, the kiss is the sign of affection and familiarity among men as well as among females, and the brethren and sisters at stuttgart always had been in the habit of kissing one another after having partaken of the lord�s supper, that is all the brethren had kissed each other, and all the sisters had kissed each other. now this again, if the result of real inward affection, and springing from the entering into our heavenly relationship and oneness in christ jesus, would be most beautiful, and would be the "holy kiss" of which the apostle paul speaks; but i had no reason to believe that this was generally the case among the brethren and sisters at stuttgart, but rather that it was merely the result of custom and form, and that it was done because it was expected to be done, for it was the church�s order, after the lord�s supper to kiss one another. it was on this ground that it seemed to me to be most pernicious; and i could have known how it would work, even though i had not been actually told, that sometimes sisters had stayed away from the lord�s supper, because they did not feel comfortable in kissing all the female members of the church. when therefore i began to break bread with the brethren, after we had been separated by the close baptists, i did not kiss one brother after the breaking of bread; but i made a point of it to kiss every one of them on that very day at a later meeting, when i left them to go to my lodgings, in order that no one might be able to say it was pride or want of love in me that i had not kissed them. thus i did on the second lord�s day, and on the third. on the fourth lord�s day a brother said, after the breaking of bread, brethren shall we give one another the brotherly kiss, and i was then ready at once, like the rest, to kiss all the brethren; but the next time there was no kissing, and thus the mere cold form was banished, and every brother felt free to kiss another brother when his heart bade him to do so, without being bound to it by custom or form. i have so circumstantially dwelt on these apparently little things, because i think them, in principle, matters of the deepest importance. every thing that is a mere form, a mere habit and custom in divine things, is to be dreaded exceedingly: life, power, reality, this is what we have to aim after. things should not result from without, but from within. the sort of clothes i wear, the kind of house i live in, the quality of the furniture i use, all such like things should not result from other persons doing so and so, or because it is customary among those brethren with whom i associate to live in such and such a simple, inexpensive, self-denying way; but whatever be done in these things, in the way of giving up, or self-denial, or deadness to the world, should result from the joy we have in god, from the knowledge of our being the children of god, from the entering into the preciousness of our future inheritance, etc. far better that for the time being we stand still, and do not take the steps which we see others take, than that it is merely the force of example that leads us to do a thing, and afterwards it be regretted. not that i mean in the least by this to imply we should continue to live in luxury, self-indulgence, and the like, whilst others are in great need; but we should begin the thing in a right way, i.e. aim after the right state of heart; begin inwardly instead of outwardly. if otherwise, it will not last. we shall look back, or even get into a worse state than we were before. but oh! how different if joy in god leads us to any little act of self denial. how gladly do we do it then! how great an honour then do we esteem it to be! how much does the heart then long to be able to do more for him who has done so much for us! we are far then from looking down in proud self-complacency upon those who do not go as far as we do, but rather pray to the lord, that he would be pleased to help our dear brethren and sisters forward, who may seem to us weak in any particular point; and we also are conscious to ourselves, that if we have a little more light or strength with reference to one point, other brethren may have more light or grace in other respects. ii. it may be asked, whether i consider brother ----, with all his errors, his fearful errors, to be a brother. my reply is, that so far as my own personal acquaintance is concerned, i am not able to form a judgment about it; but from all i have heard about his godly life formerly for many years, i think there is very much reason to believe that he is a child of god. i have related all this and made it public (which i naturally greatly dislike, on account of brother ---- being my brother, and therefore his sin is my own shame), in order that other children of god may be profited by it. there are two most instructive points connected with the history of the baptist church at stuttgart and of our brother ---- in particular. , these children of god had been right in considering believers� baptism to be scriptural, and in separating from the state church of wirtemberg. but upon these two points they had laid undue stress. though believers� baptism is the truth of god; though separation from state churches on the part of children of god who know that a church is "a congregation of believers" is right, because they see in state churches nothing but the world mixed up with some true believers; yet, if these points are made too much of if they are put out of their proper place, as if they were every thing, then there must be spiritual loss suffered by those who do so. nay, whatever parts of truth are made too much of, though they were even the most precious truths connected with our being risen in christ, or our heavenly calling, or prophecy, sooner or later those, who lay an undue stress upon these parts of truth, and thus make them too prominent, will be losers in their own souls, and, if they be teachers, they will injure those whom they teach. that was the case at stuttgart. baptism and separation from the state church had at last become almost every thing to these dear brethren. "we are the church. truth is only to be found among us. all others are in error, and in babylon." these were the phrases used again and again by our brother ----. but god never allows this state of things without chastisement. this spiritual pride had led from one error to another. oh may it be a warning to me and to all believers who may read this, and may god in mercy give and preserve to them and to me a lowly heart! , another thing, on account of which the church at stuttgart is a warning, is this: when these dear brethren left the state church of the kingdom of wirtemberg, on account of which they had many trials, they did not meet together in dependence upon the holy spirit, but they took some baptist church, whether in h-- or e-- i know not, for a model, and there was to be a teaching elder among them. instead of being content to own their weakness, and give themselves to prayer that the lord would be pleased to give them a teacher, brother ---- becomes their teaching elder, and this having been done, he alone speaks at all the meetings (with few exceptions). now, as his own mind laid such an undue stress upon baptism, and as there was no free working of the holy spirit, so that any other brother might have brought out at their meetings what the lord might have laid upon his heart, what could there have been expected otherwise than that after a time the whole noble little band of disciples, who had taken so trying a stand as to be separated from the state church, should become unsound in the faith. may god grant unto us to be profited by it, dear believing reader, so that in our own church position we do our utmost to give to the holy spirit free and unhindered opportunity to work by whom he will! i have related all these things, painful as they were to me when i was in them, and painful as they are now to me in the remembrance, if it may please god to make them a warning to other dear children of god. stuttgart, oct. , . to the saints, meeting in the name of jesus, at bethesda and salem chapels, bristol. my dear brethren, i have judged that your love to the lord and to me will make you desirous of knowing further particulars about the work here, and i write therefore a little concerning the state of things here.--since the date of my last letter i have sought to instruct the dear brethren, who had been led by the lord to own me as a brother with whom they could and ought to have fellowship, and who, therefore, had been disowned by those with whom they had formerly been associated. the state of things concerning the others, who think they do god service in the way in which they treat us, is very affecting. they not only keep entirely aloof from our meetings, but with those of our number, whom they consider seducers and perverters of the truth, they will not speak, nor greet us again when they are greeted. in this state of things nothing remained for us but to speak to the lord about them, and i, therefore, proposed last week, that we should have especial prayer meetings for these dear, but awfully deluded, brethren. this was heartily responded to, and we now meet from time to time for especial prayer on their behalf. i mention this that you may help us with your prayers in this particular also. the iron rule, and the want of being able to exercise spiritual judgment is so felt, that only one of the brethren and sisters in the neighbouring little towns and villages, who belonged to the baptist church, has ventured to meet with us; but amidst it all i am in peace, knowing that the lord himself sent me here, and that the truth at last will assuredly triumph. indeed i know that except these brethren own the sin of which they have been guilty against me, the holy spirit, who has been grieved, will not work among them, and the spiritual death among them will open the eyes of the upright ones. such an instance came before me last week, when a sister of the baptist church came to our meetings, and said that she could not remain any longer where she was, as it was as if god had departed from them. we now meet every lord�s day morning from nine to eleven, for the exposition of the word, and from four to six in the afternoon for the breaking of bread. on tuesday and thursday evenings, from eight till nearly ten, i expound the scriptures, and on wednesday and friday evenings, from eight to ten, i meet with the brethren to read the scriptures. there is the greatest teachableness among the dear saints with whom i meet; but just because they have been so long fed with error instead of truth, they need to be taught almost every thing. but hitherto the lord has so helped me, and so made the dear brethren willing to bow before the word of god, that we have gone on most happily, and without any disagreement. the last five meetings of this kind we have spent in considering the truths contained in romans xii., ephes. iv., cor. xii. and xiv., &c. they are now gaining light in apprehending the presence and power of the holy spirit in the church, and his indwelling in every individual believer, together with the practical application of these truths; and i cannot but hope, that if the lord, even now at once, were to remove me from them, they would be able to witness in some measure for god, with regard to their church position. but even these truths will take up several such evenings yet, in order that the dear brethren not only may be grounded in them, but also be profited by my experience in these particulars during the last thirteen years, that they may not fall into the same errors, or be exposed to the same difficulties. when that subject is done with, i have to undertake another work, perhaps as difficult as any i have had since i have been here, and i mention it to you, that you may help me with your prayers, that the lord would be pleased to give me his especial help in that matter also. i understand that all the dear precious saints with whom i meet, have fallen into the awful error, spread almost universally among even true believers in this country, that at last all men will be saved, and even the devils themselves. this awful error i must attack as soon as the subject which we now consider is finished; but pray earnestly that the lord would give me such spiritual power, as that these dear brethren may be brought, through god�s truth, out of this delusion also. i hope in god concerning this matter. he will help me. he has in so many ways made it so abundantly plain that he himself sent me here, that he will help me in this matter also.--last lord�s day we were twenty in number at the breaking of bread, including my dear wife and myself; among them was the first fruit of my labours here, in the way of conversion. she is a young lady of nineteen years, the daughter of the procurator of the upper tribunal, dr. r, one of the former elders of the baptist church, who for my sake was cast out. this young sister was baptized about four miles from here, in a river, about eight o�clock in the evening, by moonlight, as the dear brethren feared the tumult and concourse of the opposers in the day time. i advised her father to baptize her, in order that at once, even in this respect, there might be nothing in the judgment of the dear saints, as if a ministerial person, according to the use of the word in the world, were needed, and also that thus the attention of the police might not needlessly be directed towards me, as they are so particularly opposed to baptism. hitherto i have been left unmolested and unhindered, although i have been nearly eight weeks here, and although it is becoming known throughout the city, and beginning also to spread throughout the country that i am here.--the work still remains small as to outward appearance, as generally, besides the believers in fellowship, there are not more than about ten or twelve persons present; but i dare not take a large place to meet in, humanly speaking, and judging from what hitherto has been always done, but i must go on quietly instructing the saints, or preaching to the few sinners who come, in the hope that god, through my instructing the brethren, will open the eyes and hearts of others, after i have left. there is one brother among us, who learned the way of god more perfectly in switzerland, and who often had spoken about it, before i came, but who was neither much listened to, nor received into fellowship, because he was not baptized.--in the mean time i also go on with preparing my narrative in the german language for the press, having found out that there is sufficient freedom of the press here to allow of my getting it printed; but i make but little progress, as my time is, in a variety of ways, here also taken up, and as i have too little mental strength to continue very long at a time working with my pen. nevertheless, i have about the fifth part ready for the press. i am more and more assured that germany needs my service in this respect, and that the lord has called me for this work. about the time of my return to you i can say nothing, as the lord has not given me any light concerning it; but this i must say, that my wife and myself shall consider it a happy day indeed, when the lord allows us to see you again. but, his servants we are, and we desire grace to tarry as cheerfully here, as we shall be glad to go back to bristol, when the lord sends us back. only help us in the mean time with your prayers, (as we also pray for you), that the lord would enable us in this dark land to glorify his holy name. farewell, greatly beloved brethren. my heart longs after you to behold you again; yet i am happy here, and will cheerfully wait the lord�s own time here. i repeat, that if any of you have it in your heart to write to us, and will leave the letters at my house, they will be forwarded to me. my dear wife sends her love in christ to all the dear brethren and sisters. your affectionate brother and servant in the lord, george mÜller. i make again a few remarks in connexion with this letter. i. one of my especial aims in my service among the dear brethren at stuttgart was, to seek to ground them in the truth. to this end we had, from the beginning of our being separated from the baptist church, two meetings in the week, from eight to ten o�clock in the evening, when we considered together, upon the ground of the word of god, those points of truth on which these dear brethren appeared to me most to need instruction. i judged it not enough to expound the scriptures at their public meetings, but to give an opportunity to any brother or sister, at these private meetings, to state any difficulties that they might have on their minds. at first we considered particularly the great truths of the gospel, so that any remaining errors, connected with fundamental points, might be corrected. after that we began the consideration of romans xii. - , ephes. iv. - , cor. xii. and xiv., and the other passages which stand in connexion with the truths taught in these portions. the brethren had seen almost immediately that, according to the example of the first disciples (acts xx. ), it would become us to meet every first day of the week for the breaking of bread. thus far they had light, and that light, i judged, ought to be carried out at once. we therefore from the beginning met every lord�s day for the breaking of bread, with the exception of two or three who had for a few weeks some little doubt remaining on their mind, whether, on account of the frequency of the observance, this ordinance might not lose its beneficial effects; but as we left them free, to act according to the light they had, they soon saw the greatness of the privilege of being allowed so often to show forth the lord�s death, and they therefore met regularly with us.--as, however, on my arrival at stuttgart, the dear brethren had been entirely uninstructed about the truths relating to the power and presence of the holy ghost in the church of christ, and to our ministering one to another as fellow members in the body of christ; and as i had known enough of painful consequences when brethren began to meet professedly in dependence upon the holy spirit without knowing what was meant by it, and thus meetings had become opportunities for unprofitable talking rather than for godly edifying; and as i felt myself bound to communicate to these dear brethren the experience i had gathered with reference to these very truths since june : for these reasons, i say, i thought it well to spend evening after evening with them over the passages above mentioned. thus week after week passed away. we broke bread, but it was understood, and i wished it to be understood, that i was the only speaker. this i did that in every possible way i might have opportunity of instructing the brethren, and because they knew not yet what was meant by meeting in dependence upon the holy spirit. but, at length, after we had for about eight weeks or more spent two evenings a week together over those passages, and others setting forth the same truths, and full opportunity had been given, carefully to look at all the points connected with them, and when now there seemed a measure of apprehension of the mind of god in those passages, then we met for the purpose of carrying out what the brethren had learned, and therefore, at the next time when we met for the breaking of bread, i took my place among them simply as a brother; yet as a brother who had received a measure of gift for the benefit of his fellow members, and upon whom therefore responsibility was laid to use that measure of gift, and who, by the grace of god, felt this responsibility laid upon him, and who was willing to act accordingly. i do not mean at all to say that even then this matter was perfectly understood, for a few times still things like these would occur:--a brother read a portion of the word, and then would say, "perhaps our brother müller will expound to us this portion." or, a brother might speak a little on a subject, and then would say, "perhaps our brother müller will enter somewhat more fully into this subject." at such times, which occurred twice or thrice, i said nothing, but acted according to the desire of those brethren, and spoke; but afterwards, when we met privately, at our scripture reading meetings, i pointed out to the dear brethren their mistake, and reminded them that all these matters ought to be left to the ordering of the holy ghost, and that if it had been truly good for them, the lord would have not only led me to speak at that time, but also on the very subject on which they desired that i should speak to them. ii. at these scripture reading meetings, of which i had about forty with them, we went on very peacefully and happily, though i had many things to bring before the brethren which were quite new to them, and some points also to which they had been exceedingly opposed. the lord enabled me to seek his help for this service, and he granted it to me. iii. i never had a moment�s hesitation in owning these brethren, and meeting with them at the breaking of bread; for i could not say of any of them that they wilfully held those errors, but that it rather arose from the truth never having been brought before them. i therefore judged, that it was my duty to seek to instruct them in the truth, and then they would be led to renounce their errors. iv. i had from the beginning great hope that the dear brethren would be brought out of their fearful errors. i never was overwhelmed by the prospect of the difficulties before me, but had confidence in god, that through him i should conquer. my assurance was built on the following grounds: , i considered the remarkable way in which so unexpectedly, and after the overcoming of so many difficulties which had been in the way, i was sent to them. i therefore judged that the lord had sent me to them for blessing. , he had given me grace to pray much for the saints at stuttgart before i had ever seen them, and he helped me to continue in prayer for them whilst with them. this i judged was, in order that he might answer my request on their behalf. , they were not like persons who had had the truth set before them, and wilfully rejected it, but they had never had it set before them. , the lord, in his grace, enabled me to deal patiently with them. they were deeply entangled in error, very deeply. pressing things hastily upon them, i knew, would only make matters worse; but patiently hearing all their objections; meeting time after time over the word, and seeking the lord�s blessing in prayer on those meetings both before and after, being willing not to press a point too much at once, but giving time to the holy ghost to work upon their hearts; dealing thus with them, even as the lord had inclined my heart, i judged that he would give me the desire of my heart, and deliver them out of their fearful errors. v. i cannot help noticing here the strange mistake under which the religious public was with reference to my being at stuttgart. it was this: some weeks after my arrival the report was spread, and widely too, (for it was printed in one of the religious periodicals), that i was a missionary sent by the baptists in england, to bring back the baptists in wirtemberg to the state church, as it was the view of the baptists in england that it was not wrong to be united with the state church. this having been stated in print, (though i knew not of it till i was on the point of returning to england), my stay at stuttgart, i suppose, was rather liked by religious persons in connexion with the state church, and it is not at all unlikely that that may have contributed to my being permitted to work quietly week after week, and month after month, without the police in the least interfering with me, though it not only was well known, that i was there, but well known too what i was doing in the way of holding meetings, etc. i recognise the hand of the lord in allowing this mistake to be made. vi. for many weeks the number of those who frequented the meetings was very small. very few, besides those who were in communion with us, attended them. the highly sectarian and exclusive spirit which had been manifested by those brethren, who belonged to the baptist church, was a great hindrance in the way; for it was naturally supposed that we were of the same mind with them. but after nearly five months had passed away, there began to be a different effect produced. the number of those who attended increased, and increased to more than twice or thrice as many as used to come at first, and, humanly speaking, had i seen it to be the lord�s will to remain one month longer, the result might have been still greater. but as i saw as clearly the time of my departure from stuttgart as that of my going thither, i was not influenced by any outward appearance; for i felt certain that, for various reasons, i ought to return to my service in bristol.--in this circumstance also i cannot but see the hand of god. had the meetings all at once been much attended in the beginning, it might have attracted the attention of the police, and possibly a ticket of permission to reside any longer at stuttgart might not have been granted to me; but, as it was, there was nothing whatever outwardly to attract the notice of the world, for we were few in number, met in a very poor neighbourhood, and in a poor meeting place, and i had thus opportunity to instruct the saints. stuttgart, nov. , . to the brethren meeting in the name of jesus, at salem and bethesda chapels, bristol dear brethren, i have judged that it might be profitable to you, with the lord�s blessing, to hear again a few particulars of his work here, and i have also thought that the love you bear me will make you desirous to know how i am, and what the lord is doing with me, and therefore i again write you a little, which is no burden to me, but a sweet pleasure. yet i assure you, dear brethren, i need not write to you, in order that i may be reminded of you; for i think of you daily, and pray daily for you, as i am sure you do for us: and it will, indeed, be a sweet pleasure to us and joy in the lord, to behold your faces again; but, in the meantime, we desire grace, not to feel ourselves as in banishment, but so to realize, that this is our present place of service, and so to walk with jesus, that we maybe very happy, even now, though so far, and for so long a time absent from you. it is now thirteen weeks and three days since i left bristol, but i have not, during all this time, even for one single minute, been permitted to question whether the conclusion, that i should serve the lord for a season in this country, was of him or not; but during all this time, as also many weeks before i left bristol, my heart has had the fullest assurance concerning this matter. it has been also very kind of the lord, that he has not even suffered me to be tempted, through a great variety of trying events, which might have occurred either here or in bristol, to question my call for this service; but, on the contrary, every day�s experience almost, here, confirms my mind, and every letter from bristol also shows, how that god�s finger is in this matter. and thus, my dear brethren, it must be always, when we are taking any step according to the will of the lord: the result must be peace and blessing. i desire therefore quietly to, tarry here, till the same lord, who put me at this post, shall call me away from it. --i now enter upon the narrative of a few facts which i wish to communicate to you, that you may be led yet more highly to prize the spiritual privileges, and especially the religious liberty, which you enjoy in england.--about nineteen months since a brother and sister here, who were connected with the little baptist church, (the only body of believers in this country who are separated from the state church) desired to be united by marriage. as they had conscientious objections to be married according to the usage of the state church, a statement was sent to the director of this city, the first magistrate, in which this brother and sister expressed their desire and declared that they would submit themselves to everything to which they could with a good conscience, such as having their names three times publicly called at the church, paying the clergyman�s fees, &c.; but that they could not conform to the marriage ceremony at the church, and they therefore begged to be exempted from this; and they finally claimed for this the rights of the subjects of the kingdom of wirtemberg, to whom full liberty of conscience is granted by the constitution of the government. after a time they received a complete denial to this request from the ecclesiastical court, called the consistory. they now gave in a full statement of their views, why they left the state church, why they could not conform to the marriage ceremony in the state church, &c., and sent this statement, if i remember right, to the highest court, the ministry of the kingdom. it was again refused. and so also by the king himself. many months had in the meantime elapsed, and the patience of the brother and sister at last began to fail, and as the sister (at that time) saw scarcely any objection to be married at the church, the brother was at last overcome, and he went and gave in the banns at the church. this was in the middle of june last summer. the nearer, however, the marriage day came, the more tried the brother felt, and all peace left him. at last he came to the conclusion to leave himself quite in the hands of the lord while in the church, and to do no more than he could do with a good conscience; yet he did not know anything definite, nor did he tell his intended wife anything. he asked the brethren, with whom he was in fellowship, to pray for him, who accordingly met at the time when he was to be married. it was on a lord�s day afternoon after the public service, and several hundreds of people had remained. the clergyman, a believer, who, no doubt, knew of the former expressed conscientious objection of this brother and sister, did not at all use the printed liturgy, but only gave, as i hear, a scriptural address as the occasion called for, which our brother found profitable. after this the brother and sister made the usual solemn declaration that they would take each other as husband and wife, &c. this, our brother considered all that could be required of him as a subject. but now remained the clergyman�s blessing and confirmation of the matrimony, which in the literal english translation is as follows: "as you then have solemnly promised to each other conjugal love and fidelity, i therefore confirm in the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost, as an appointed minister of the christian church, this your conjugal union as a union, which according to god�s order, is indissoluble. what god has joined together, let no man put asunder." now, while the clergyman was pronouncing the first of these words, the brother walked a step or two back from the altar, with his wife, and interrupted the clergyman in words to this effect: "i do not belong to the state church, and i therefore cannot accept the blessing of the state church, or the confirmation of the state church, with reference to our marriage. our union was made in heaven, and therefore needs no earthly confirmation. i have gone as far as i could with a good conscience, but further i can do nothing."--the clergyman now stated "i pronounce your marriage as void, and i shall give notice of your behaviour to the magistrates."--the whole matter made a great stir, the people rushed out of the church, and our brother, with his wife, having gone orderly back into their pews, fell on their knees and prayed, and then walked home.--the first thing that now followed was, that the relations on the part of the wife sought to separate the brother and sister by all possible means, removing the furniture out of their intended rooms, sending policemen, and not suffering the brother to live where he had purposed to live after marriage, so that the newly married couple had to take up their abode in the house of a brother in the lord now in fellowship with us, who is the brother of the young wife. on the next day the newly married brother went to the clergyman, and humbly stated to him, that that, which had occurred on the previous day, was not in the least intended as an insult to him, but that he had been forced to act thus to maintain a good conscience. but he again declared the marriage as void, and said that he should legally proceed against him. either on the same day, or the day after, our brother and sister had to appear before the director of the city, and after having been for hours examined, the marriage was declared as void, and they were ordered to separate from each other, otherwise the laws against concubinage would be put in force against them. our brother and sister meekly declared, that they would gladly submit to the government in every thing, in which they could submit with a good conscience, but that they should not separate from each other, as they considered that they, according to divine and human laws, were married. after some time they had to appear a second time, and, if i remember right, a third, if not a fourth time; but they always gave the same declaration before the city director, and added that they claimed the rights of the subjects of wirtemberg, according to which there was secured to them perfect liberty of conscience. so the matter remained. nothing more occurred till monday, oct. rd, when the said brother was ordered to appear before a court called the "criminal court" at half-past two, his wife at three, and the brother who had taken them in and lodged them, at half-past three in the afternoon. i ought to have said before, that all three belong to those saints who for my sake were separated from the baptist church here. brother r. and i therefore met for prayer while they were before the judge, and continued in prayer from half-past two till half-past five. all three experienced the fulfilment of that word: "take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak." matt. x. . the lord was very nigh to them. they were able firmly, but meekly, to bear testimony for the truth. even the sister, though alone before the judge, was greatly helped. she has been, ever since the event at the church, quite of one mind with her husband. the crime alleged against the other brother at this court was, that, after he knew that the magistrates had declared the marriage illegal, he still lodged them in his house; to which he declared that he considered the marriage legal. this led to the reasons, and a long and blessed testimony for the lord was borne before the judge. the crime alleged against the husband before this court was, that he had intended this as an insult against the church, which he denied, but stated that he had gone as far as he could, and that he would rather suffer any thing than act against his conscience. on thursday, oct. th, these three dear saints had to stand before the same judge, each again alone, from half-past two till half-past five, whilst brother r. and i were again in prayer for them. the lord again abundantly helped them. even the judge, though a roman catholic, sought both times to favour them as much as possible, and the investigations of the whole affair were as favourably taken down for them on paper by him, as if a brother in the lord had written them down. we know how that came. the lord heard the prayers of his children, and also acted according to the just mentioned promise. to both brethren was permitted to hand in on the next day a written statement, on what scriptural grounds the husband�s conscience led him to act as he did; and the other brother, on what scriptural grounds he could not obey the magistrate, in refusing to lodge his sister and brother-in-law, when their marriage had been declared illegal. brother r. and i now wrote two long statements about the affair with scriptural proofs, which, on the next day, were delivered to the court. on friday, oct. , the brother, the husband, had to stand the third time that week before the judge, who, among other things, told him, that until the matter by the proper court was decided, the police would separate him and his wife. thus the matter stands. our brother and sister may any day be separated; if so, they will be only separated as long as they are in prison; when they come out, they feel themselves before god bound to come again together; and should the matter be forced, they must leave the country. moreover, if the matter is pressed, the husband may be from six months to two years imprisoned for the act at the church. but the lord reigneth, and men can go no further than the lord gives them permission. our brother who lodged them is liable to six months� imprisonment; but the lord reigneth. nothing is to be done here, except to pray and to be ready to suffer for the lord�s sake, in order that real liberty of conscience may be obtained. such a case never occured here before. the courts know not themselves what to do. the judge who investigated the case, in order to lay the written investigation before the proper court, said publicly: "i wonder how they will manage this affair." with reference to my own judgment about the matter, it is this: if any brother and sister were now to be married to whom the lord has given the same light, they should not go at all to the church, but simply give information to the magistrates, have their names called at church, declare themselves ready to pay the fees, and state before the brethren that they mean to consider themselves as united by marriage; and if the government after this oppresses them, to leave the country. i cannot regret that matters have been as they have. the government itself forced our brother, so to say, to do what he did: and good will come out of it for the church.--we are now waiting for what the lord will do in this matter, and to see whether these dear saints will have to bear imprisonment or not. another event has occurred: on oct. th, the elders of the baptist church, and therefore two of the brethren with whom i now meet for the breaking of bread, were ordered to appear before the director of the city to hear a communication from the ministers of state with reference to their request about being permitted to marry, without going to church. as this order now came to them as being of the baptist church, whilst our brethren no longer belong to the baptist church, but consider themselves united with all who love our lord jesus, they sent a written statement to the director of the city, stating that they had ceased to belong to the baptist church. thus, without our seeking it, the position which we hold, even if it had not been so before, is now made known. still, hitherto nothing has been done to us, nor any hinderance laid in our way. indeed a few days since, through a particular circumstance, the city director had my passport put into his hands, with the inquiry whether a ticket of permission to remain in stuttgart should be granted to me, or not, and there were no objections made. so i still teach and preach christ freely, and all that the lord has taught me, although to a very small number; for the people are afraid of us. in the mean time i speak to souls as i may meet them in the fields, or when persons ask for an alms without the city, for in the whole of stuttgart i never saw one beggar. i also make considerable progress with my narrative, much more than at the first, and have nearly one-half ready for the press. when we took our position here of receiving all who love our lord jesus, irrespective of their agreeing with us in all points, one brother came among us, who had been always refused by the baptist church here, because he was not baptized. after this brother had been about six weeks among us, he himself desired baptism. he was baptized on the evening of oct. . thus we have been able to give a practical proof of the truth which we hold. our number has only been increased by the arrival of our brother t. h., the son of our brother h., whom you know. he resides in the same house with us.--i repeat that it will give us joy to hear from any of you. we remember before the lord those of you by name, of whom it has been written to us that they are in trial. my dear wife sends her love to all the dear brethren and sisters. i remain, my dear brethren, your brother and servant in the lord, george mÜller p.s.--i only add that the two brothers and the sister, by their meekness and godly walk, much commend the truth, and are precious instruments chosen of the lord, to carry the truth before the rulers of the land. dec. , . during this year have been received into communion among us in bristol, and saints have fallen asleep. being absent from bristol, i am not able to give the present exact state of the church there as to numbers.--the lord has been pleased to give me during this year for my temporal necessities. , through the saints among whom i labour in bristol, in provisions, clothes, etc. worth to us, at least £ s. d. , through anonymous offerings in money, put up in paper, and directed to me, and put into the boxes for the poor saints, or the rent, at the meeting places £ s. / d. , through presents in money, from saints in bristol, not given anonymously £ s. d. , through presents in money from saints not residing in bristol £ s. d. altogether £ s. / d. to this is to be added that the expenses connected with our journey to germany, and with our temporal necessities, and all the various expenses coming on us in connexion with our stay in a foreign land, from aug. , to dec. , were met out of the l. s. d., which had been given to me, as has been stated, for several purposes, but especially also for the expenses connected with my service in germany. is it not again most manifest from this statement, that during the year also i served a most kind master even with reference to temporal supplies? and this i delight to show. if i had been striving with all my might to obtain a good income during the year , i could not have had more; for in one way or another the lord gave me about l. without asking any one for any thing, and therefore i had far more than i needed either for myself and family, or for giving me ability to use hospitality. i find it more and more pleasant, even with reference to this life, to walk in the ways of the lord, and to rely upon him for all i need; and often, when i recount on my walks for meditation the mercies of the lord towards me, i am constrained to say to the praise of the lord, that if i had remained in my unconverted state, and therefore continued a servant of satan, i could not have been nearly as well off, even with reference to this life, as i am now in the service of the lord jesus. i find, that the more the lord enables me, not to seek my own things, but the things of jesus christ, the more he takes care that my temporal necessities shall be richly supplied. jan. , .--last evening i met with the whole little church at stuttgart to tea, and the last hours of the year, till about o�clock at night, we spent together in prayer. on jan. th, i wrote another letter to the brethren in bristol, which is here subjoined. stuttgart, jan. , , to the saints meeting in the name of jesus, at bethesda and salem chapels, bristol. beloved brethren., i have it in my heart once more to write to you a little about the work of the lord here, before my return to you, and i do it the more readily, because i have confidence in your love, being assured that you are as glad to hear from me, as i am to write to you. with reference to all the time since i left you, and in particular with reference to the time since i last wrote to you, i have abundant reason to say, that goodness and mercy have followed us. never, since i first saw it to be the will of god, that i should labour here for a season, which is now more than seven months, have i been permitted to question, that this conclusion was formed under the guidance of the holy ghost; and ever since i left you, which is now five months and six days, every thing has proved, that i left you according to the will of god. it is precious, beloved brethren, to go on an errand when the lord himself sends us, and to be at a post where the lord himself has placed us for then all goes on well. far better to wait months, or even years, than to take a step in uncertainty, or being but half assured that it is the will of god, that we should take that step.--but as fully as i was assured that i should leave you for a season, so, as far as i can see at present the mind of the lord, does it appear to me now, that the time is fast approaching, when our lord will give us again the great joy and precious privilege of seeing you face to face. truly, we may say, through grace, and without hypocrisy, "we, brethren, being taken from you for a short time in presence, not in heart;" indeed nothing but grace has kept us here so long. and now the time seems to be fast approaching when we shall leave this, and i am by prayer and labour endeavouring, to see your face soon. if the lord will, my narrative, (which, with a particular reference to the spiritual necessities of the church in germany, i have been preparing for the press, and is nearly finished), will be printed within five weeks from this day, so that i hope we shall be able to leave this towards the end of february. yet, in the mean time, there remains much work for me still to do, both with reference to writing and labouring among the brethren here; therefore continue, dear brethren, even as you have done hitherto, to help me with your prayers; and we also, by the help of god, will continue to intercede for you, as we do with joy. as there have occurred a number of important events among us, since i wrote to you last, i proceed now to give you some account of them.--in the early part of november last year, brother r., the doctor of law, asked me to unite with him and a sister in prayer, as that sister (not one in fellowship with us, but belonging to the state church) was going to be divorced from her husband, and she had desired that we should spend the time with her in prayer for her husband, while this act would be settled in the judicial court. this sister had had to suffer exceedingly during the space of many years from her husband, who hated her greatly for the lord�s sake. three times she had been obliged to leave him, because of his awful treatment; but three times, especially through the peace-making efforts of brother r., who was her legal counsellor, she returned to her husband, and lived for a season with him, till at last each time her health sank under the sufferings she had endured from him. at length, about two years since, she left him again, with the intention not to return to him any more. this led to a divorce by law, a thing not uncommon on the continent; and in that hour in which we met for prayer, the matter was settled. in consequence of this, as she had three children, and brought a comparatively considerable property to her husband, the law proceeded to secure this money for the benefit of herself and children, as the husband had wasted all his own property. this act was settled on december th, on which occasion she had to meet her husband at his house with the appointed government officers; and she requested our brother dr. r., as a friend to accompany her. brother r. (who had been for fifteen years the peace-maker between this husband and wife, and who had three times succeeded in favour of the husband, though the legal adviser of the wife) was nevertheless greatly hated by the husband, who repeatedly spoke to him in public courts of law thus: "you shall never baptize me." or, "now my wife will soon be free to marry her priest," (meaning brother r.,) &c. all this brother r. had been able to bear with the greatest meekness, though thus publicly insulted, when acting as solicitor or barrister at the judicial courts. now on the th of december, brother r., as i said, went with this divorced sister to her husband�s house. when all the business was done, the husband came close to brother r., in the presence of several magistrates, put a pistol to his side and fired it at him, then took another pistol, put it to his own breast, fired and sank down dead immediately. but while he himself died immediately, brother r. has been wonderfully preserved. he wore a thick wadded coat, and had four papers in his side pocket, through all of which the ball passed. then, to show the hand of god, the ball met in the other clothes such obstacles (all being double in that spot,) that it only entered a very little way into the body and lodged upon one of the ribs. after the fire was extinguished, (for our brother�s clothes were set on fire, so near had the poor sinner put the pistol to him,) our brother walked home, and shortly after a surgeon extracted the ball, and on the seventh day our brother was so far restored, that the whole little church here could be gathered around his bed, together with his relations, and we united together in praising the lord for his wonderful help; and on the fifteenth day our brother was already so far restored, that he was able to assemble himself again with us for the breaking of bread. half an inch higher or lower might have taken his life; but the balls (for the pistol was loaded with two, one of which fell out of his clothes,) though most maliciously so prepared that they might do much mischief on entering the body, found so much resistance that the power, through the soft clothing being every part double in that spot, was spent before touching the body. surely, the lord is round about us even the ungodly in this city have been forced to marvel; but now the devil spreads the report that that wicked person shot our brother, because he purposed to marry his wife. at last also the sentence has come from the judicial court appointed for that business, with reference to the married brother and sister about whom i wrote to you. both of them are sentenced to fourteen days� imprisonment, and their marriage is declared to be illegal and only concubinage, so that when the imprisonment is over, they will be separated by the police, and sent back to prison, should they still seek to live together as they must do, being married in the sight of god. further, the brother who lodged them after their marriage, is sentenced to four days� imprisonment, because he helped on, as it is said, concubinage. finally, the husband is sentenced to pay / of the legal expenses, his wife / and the other brother / . if here were only the question about money, or suffering imprisonment, we must bear it, and account it an honour, to suffer for christ�s sake; but as the sentence is, that this marriage is concubinage, which according to god and to man it is not, and as the liberty of the wirtemberg subjects allows them to appeal to a higher court, and as brother r. can do all this business, i have with brother r. and some other brethren judged, that in this case, like paul, we ought to appeal to a higher court, if by any means we may keep the government from committing this grievous sin of unjustly punishing those godly persons. should this, however, be in vain, we must yield to the power, the brethren must bear the imprisonment, and this dear couple must leave the country. our position here as saints was unquestionably known from the beginning by the police, who watch us closely; but nothing was officially done in the matter till very recently, which was occasioned in the following way. the baptist church here have two or three times a year, or as often as the city director (the head of the police) requires it, to give in the list of names of those who belong to the church, who have been added, and who have been separating themselves or have been excluded. at the close of the year that was now done again, when the considerable number who had left it on my account, were noticed by the city director, who then sent for the teaching elder or president of the baptist church, who told him all about me, and that i had occasioned this business. this now drew forth an order from the city director to brother r., in which he was requested to state-- . who had separated themselves with him, (names, station in life, and place of abode)?-- . whether we meant to form a separate church?-- . who were the elders?-- . and who at present belonged to our number? this was very briefly replied to by giving the names of those who separated themselves, the additional two names of those who have been added since, that we meant to be in communion with all who love our lord jesus, and that this was the reason, why we had separated ourselves from the baptist church. to this no reply has been sent; nor has any one as yet put the least hinderance to my freely teaching and preaching jesus christ, though it is now five months and six days since i have been labouring here. the lord is also now beginning to work among the brethren belonging to the baptist church here, in answer to our and your prayers, and those of many other dear saints in england, switzerland, &c. several are beginning to feel that their position is not a right one, but none have yet fully and publicly renounced their errors, which, i trust, will soon be the case. may we continue to pray concerning this matter. moreover, the prejudices against us are wearing off on the part of some other persons, so that the number who attend our meetings is rather increasing. there seem also several who are somewhat concerned about their souls, and a few children of god belonging to the state church come. another brother was also added to our number about a fortnight ago, so that we are now two-and-twenty altogether, who break bread. this is a small company certainly, but though it be only like a taper on a candlestick, yet there is some light, however little, and i trust that, with god�s blessing, this light will be more and more bright in germany, where it is so much needed. the lord is also blessing my labours among the dear brethren here, so that they grow in knowledge, and, i trust, in grace also; likewise those errors, of which i wrote to you, are giving way, but they are not overcome fully yet, and i shall have a conflict still about them, before i leave: still the lord has kept us in peace, by giving me wisdom to deal gently with the brethren, remembering the years in which they were built up in error. help me also with your prayers, that i may find a bookseller to take my book on commission for sale; for i have offered it to three, and they have refused it. one glimpse was enough for one, in seeing that i did not belong to a state church. surely i have conflict here step by step; but god helps, and through him i shall do valiantly in this thing also; nevertheless i beg your prayers.--and now, finally, i entreat you, beloved pilgrims, help me with your prayers, that i may do and suffer all the will of god here gladly, that i may live to his honour while remaining here, that i may be helped in the remainder of my work, that i may not leave a day before, nor stay a day beyond the lord�s time, and that the lord would give us a prosperous journey and voyage in his own time. my dear wife unites with me in love to all the dear brethren and sisters. we often pray for you, and remember by name those who are in particular trial through bereavement, or from other causes. farewell. your affectionate brother and servant in the lord, george mÜller i add a few remarks in connexion with this letter:-- i. the wisdom of our brother r., in being present at the judicial settlement of the money affairs of the sister, who was legally divorced from her husband, may be questioned, on account of the expressions used by the husband. as to myself, knowing the particulars more fully than the reader can, i do not for a moment think that the man thought our brother had any intention of marrying his divorced wife, for all these expressions were evidently only used to insult dr. r.; but my objection would rather spring from this, that i question whether a christian has any business at all with such concerns. the lord in a most remarkable way protected dr. r.; but this by no means proves that he was in his proper place. ii. i also say a few words more about the brother and sister whose marriage was considered illegal. the appeal to the highest court was of no avail, also the final appeal to the king was useless, and about july, , the brother and sister were imprisoned for fourteen days, and the brother, who had taken them in, four days. the lord was with them, and blessed them much in the prison, as they wrote me. the brethren had free access to them, and once even the greater part of them met in the prison and broke bread together. this exceeding great leniency was granted to them, i think, through the judge who had to investigate their affairs. when their imprisonment was expired, they were ordered to separate, which however they did not do, considering themselves married in the sight of god. for a long time the government only threatened, without separating them by force; at last, however, in march, , after having taken from him his right of citizenship at stuttgart, and having thus deprived him of the privilege of carrying on his business as a master cabinet-maker, the husband was taken by force from his wife, and escorted by a policeman to his parish, which is about nine miles distant. this was done after the government had suffered them to live together as husband and wife above twenty months, and after they had had a child more than ten months old, which however the lord took to himself about a week before the parents were thus separated. this affair has occasioned the loss of the business of this brother; and if an alteration be not shortly made in the laws of the country, with reference to liberty of conscience concerning marriage, (which they hope for, as they mean to appeal to the representatives of the people,) they purpose to emigrate to england. though our brother and sister might have acted more wisely, and not have brought the matter to this public act at the church; yet we must keep in mind that their position had been trying, as for more than a twelve-month they had delayed being married, in hope of obtaining permission from the government not to have to go to the state church; and as no one of the brethren had ever been thus situated; and as they themselves had not much light, yet wished to maintain a good conscience: on these accounts, i say, we cannot but feel for our brother and sister in their trial, and remember them in love. were it again to occur, that a brother and sister of the little church at stuttgart should desire to be united in marriage, and have conscientious objection to be married in the state church, i gave it as my judgment to the brethren, that they should humbly and meekly make known their intentions to the city director, have their banns called in the church, pay the fees of the clergyman, etc., and afterwards make known to the whole little church that they took each other in marriage, signify the same to the city director, and not go to the state church. if after this they should not be suffered to live together, then to emigrate. iii. after i had been between two and three months at stuttgart, and the brethren had been instructed in some measure, both at the public meetings and at the scripture reading meetings, about many important truths, i at last began decidedly to go forward at our private meetings, after much prayer, to the exposing of the fearful errors, which they almost all held, in thinking that at last all men would be saved, and even the devils themselves. we had not, however, had more than two or three meetings on this subject, when dr. r. was shot; and as this occasioned his absence for some time, i thought it better not to go on with the subject; and when he was sufficiently restored, it was wished that we should consider all the passages connected with the lord�s supper. as on this point also the brethren needed instruction, i readily yielded the point, judging that i had to show them, by being willing to wait, that i sought not my own gratification, in considering their views about universal salvation. thus five or six meetings were spent in considering all the portions of the holy scriptures which speak about the lord�s supper. but now, this having been finished, i proposed that we should resume considering the scriptures, with reference to universal salvation, and i found that they had been led into this error, because , they did not see the difference between the earthly calling of the jews, and the heavenly calling of the believers in the lord jesus in the present dispensation, and therefore they said, that, because the words "everlasting," etc., are applied to "the possession of the land of canaan," and the "priesthood of aaron," that therefore the punishment of the wicked cannot be without end, seeing that the possession of canaan and the priesthood of aaron are not without end. my endeavour, therefore, was, to show the brethren the difference between the earthly calling of israel and our heavenly one, and to prove from scripture, that whenever, the word "everlasting" is used with reference to things purely not of the earth, but beyond time, it denotes a period without end. , they had laid exceeding great stress upon a few passages where, in luther�s translation of the german bible, the word hell occurs, and where it ought to have been translated either "hades" in some passages, or "grave" in others, and where they saw a deliverance out of hell, and a being brought up out of hell, instead of "out of the grave." , they had taken passages out of their connexion.--the mode which i now pursued was, to refer to all the very many passages which they had written down, and to expound them according to the connexion in which they stood, seeking to show the brethren this connexion. in addition to this, i requested them to allow me to speak on those passages without being interrupted, in order that, being able pretty fully to enter upon this subject, there might be free opportunity given to the holy ghost to work conviction in their hearts; and, as they were greatly in favour of universal salvation, they might thus be kept from controversy, to which they would have been inclined, without having heard what i had to say from the word of god against universal salvation; for i had previously given them full opportunity to bring out their own views. after having thus proceeded for several evenings in our private meetings, i saw that the greater part were fully convinced about the errors they had held, and the others had no desire to contradict, though they had perhaps not grace enough to say plainly that they had been in error. nor did i in the least enforce that any acknowledgment should be made to me. these meetings took place during the last three weeks of my stay at stuttgart. thus, by having received grace from the lord to deal patiently with the brethren, and to wait upon god even for the right time to attack these errors, i was helped to conquer in this thing also. iv. i add also a few words more with reference to my narrative, which i published at stuttgart. when i had proceeded a considerable way in preparing it for the press, i found especial help from god, in being directed through a kind brother, whom i had known eight years before at stuttgart, to a paper manufacturer, from whom i could buy the paper for , copies on advantageous terms, and also to a very honourable and promise-keeping printer. the printer engaged to print two sheets a week and kept his word to the end, so that as long as six weeks before my departure, i was able to say that, if the lord would, i should depart on the th of february, and on that very day i was able to depart. important as it was, for many reasons, that i should return to my service in bristol when i did, i cannot but see the hand of god in directing me to so honourable a person as the printer was, in whom also, i trust, is somewhat of the fear of god.-- it has been often mentioned to me in various places, that brethren in business do not sufficiently attend to the keeping of promises, and i cannot therefore but entreat all who love our lord jesus, and who are engaged in a trade or business, to seek for his sake not to make any promises, except they have every reason to believe they shall be able to fulfil them, and therefore carefully to weigh all the circumstances, before making any engagement, lest they should fail in its accomplishment. it is even in these little ordinary affairs of life that we may either bring much honour or dishonour to the lord; and these are the things which every unbeliever can take notice of. why should it be so often said, and sometimes with a measure of ground, or even much ground: "believers are bad servants, bad tradesmen, bad masters?" surely it ought not to be true that we, who have power with god to obtain by prayer and faith all needful grace, wisdom and shill, should be bad servants, bad tradesmen, bad masters. when now the narrative was nearly printed, i had to look out for a bookseller who would undertake the sale of the book on commission. my reason for this was, not the money which might thus be obtained, for truly glad should i have been to have given away all the , copies at once, had i known of suitable opportunities; but in order that by means of the book-trade the narrative might be circulated even a thousand miles off or more, where i had no opportunity of reaching. here now it was again that i met with difficulty, as i had done step by step in the other parts of my service in germany. three booksellers refused to undertake the sale of the book. the objection evidently was, that i did not belong to the state church, and one of them plainly told me so. but by the help of god i was not discouraged. i knew the lord had sent me to germany: i knew also that it was his will that i should publish an account of his dealings with me in the german language; for he had so unexpectedly laid this matter upon my heart; he had so remarkably provided the means for it, without my asking any one but himself for them; he had given me such especial help in preparing the book for the press; he had given me such an abundance of prayer about this part of my service, both many weeks before i left england, and day by day all the months that i had been in germany. for these reasons it was that i had the fullest assurance that this difficulty also would be overcome. i therefore now began to give myself to prayer with my dear wife concerning this very matter. day by day we waited upon the lord for about four weeks, and then i applied to another bookseller, who without any hesitation undertook the sale of the book on commission, so that i retained , copies for gratuitous distribution, and , he was to have. dear reader, there is no difficulty which may not be overcome. let us but use the power which we have with god as his children by prayer and faith, and abundant blessings may be drawn down from him. v. on my departure from stuttgart, the number of the brethren who met for the breaking of bread was twenty-five. on the very last lord�s day i had the joy of seeing the third elder of the baptist church, who had at first thought me so much in error, come among us, and unite with us in the breaking of bread, having for some time had his mind more and more opened to the truth. the day before i departed, not only the brethren and sisters among whom i had laboured took leave of me with many tears, but also nineteen brethren and sisters of the close baptist church came to my lodgings, and affectionately bade me farewell, and many with tears. the lord indeed, in his rich mercy, had so far answered my prayer concerning this my service, that i left a testimony behind in their consciences. on feb. , , my dear wife and i departed from stuttgart, and on march th, we reached bristol. exceedingly as we had longed to return to bristol, as soon as we could see it to be the lord�s will; yet so greatly had our hearts been knit to the dear saints whom we left behind, that it was a sad pleasure to depart, and our only comfort was, that we left them in the hands of the good shepherd. i resume now the account about the orphan-houses, and other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. during all the time of my absence from bristol, the lord bountifully supplied our need. for though the money, which i was able to leave behind on my departure, would not have supplied the orphan-houses with more than about one-half of what was needed, yet the lord helped so seasonably, and sent in so many donations, that there was not once, during all this time, the least difficulty with reference to means. there came in for the orphans, between aug. , , and mach , , about l., besides very many articles of clothing, pro visions, books, trinkets, old silver, etc. on aug. th, , a. b. sent l., which, being left to my disposal, was put to the school-bible-missionary and tract fund. i received information about this donation on the evening of aug. nd, during the first hour after my arrival at stuttgart. it was a precious earnest, that the lord would also be mindful of the need of the institution during my absence from england. indeed, it cannot be described, how sweet to me just then, under the circumstances in which i found myself, in an especial trial of faith to which the lord called me in that very hour, as before stated, was this fresh proof of the lord�s watchful care over his work in my hands. nov. , . at a time when all means were exhausted, and when for many reasons large supplies were needed for the school-bible-missionary and tract fund, whilst i was daily waiting upon the lord with my dear wife in germany, bringing the work in bristol before him, and beseeching him also to give us pecuniary means for it, that his enemies might have no cause for triumphing, was sent to me a letter from bristol, containing another from the east indies, in which the writer gave me an order for l. for the work of the lord in my hands, giving me at the same time full liberty to use the money as most needed. a few days after a. b. sent another l. for the work of the lord in my hands. by these two donations, both of which i put entirely to the funds for these objects, we were not only helped to meet all present demands, but were richly supplied.--thus, at so great a distance from the work, we were yet able by our prayers effectually to serve the institution!--truly, it is precious in this way to hang upon god! it brings its abundant reward with it! every donation, thus received, so manifestly comes out of the hands of the lord himself. dear reader, just look once more upon this circumstance! hundreds of miles we were from bristol, and by our bowing our knees before our heavenly father at stuttgart, we not only could bring down spiritual blessings upon the work in bristol, but also temporal means. thus, simply by prayer, we obtained whilst in germany, for the work of god in bristol, within about one week, nearly l.; for there came in some other donations for the orphans also. on jan. , , there came in l. from one who is very far prom being rich, of which l. was given for the school fund, and l. for the orphans. the donor is satisfied with food and raiment, labouring cheerfully, and wishing rather to spend than to keep, or lay up treasure on earth. march , . after a comparatively great abundance with regard to the orphans, for a whole year and seventeen days, during which time we were not once in difficulty as to means, which had not been the case for nearly five years previous to the commencement of this period, we are now again quite poor, there being nothing at all left in my hands, after i have paid out this day more than l. for rent and salaries. but through the grace of god i am able to trust as heretofore in the lord, and therefore my heart is in peace.--evening. i received this afternoon s. / d., s. d., by sale of articles came in l. s. d., by sale of reports s., and by a donation s. d. march . this morning my wife and i besought the lord unitedly for means, and received almost immediately afterwards l. from birmingham, in answer to our prayer. march . i received s., and there was anonymously put into the box at bethesda s. d. this morning at half-past nine a sister came to me, and brought me a sovereign for the orphans, saying: "whilst i was lying this morning at six o�clock on my bed, i thought, here i am so comfortable, and perhaps the orphans may be in need, and i resolved to bring you this." the donation came most seasonably and as the fruit of our prayer.--i received also l., the profit of the sale of ladies� bags. march . saturday. there is l. s. d. in hands this will be at least enough till monday morning.--there came in this morning l. s. by a donation, before the money was sent off to the orphan-houses, so that i had l. s. d. to send, which will be enough, i suppose, till tuesday morning. april . there came in since the day before yesterday l., which was anonymously put into the box at salem chapel, s. was given by a young sister as the produce of some work which she had done for the benefit of the orphans, and i s. came in by sale of articles. having had this l. s. coming in i was able to meet extraordinary expenses which came upon me today, not having expected that anything beyond the ordinary housekeeping money would have been needed. april . the need of today was l. s. d. yesterday i had paid away all the money in hand, but in the afternoon came in by sale of articles l. s. d., by the boxes in the orphan-houses s. d., and by needle-work of the orphans s. / d.: so that we were able to meet the demands of today. april . today l. s. was required. i opened the boxes in my house, in which i found s. / d. thus i had s. d. with what was left yesterday, and the remainder, being l. s. d., one of the labourers was able to give of his own. april . last evening was given to me s, and s.; and this morning s. came in. thus we have l. s., and the need of today is l. s. one of the labourers was able to add the s. april . yesterday came in by sale of articles l., and this morning i received from clapham l. s., and through a believer in bristol l. s. this afternoon came in still further from a brother in bath l. we have therefore received altogether this day l. s. from the bountiful hand of our heavenly father. april . one of the labourers in the orphan-houses gave me still further today l., and from kensington i received l. s. we are thus again provided for the probable expenses of two or three days. april . today a sister gave me l. for the express purpose of providing a little treat for the dear orphans, and s. d. came in besides. april . it has often occurred in our experience, that after we have had to pass for some time through a season of comparative poverty, in which day by day we have had to wait upon the lord, our father alters his way of dealing with us, and opens his bountiful hand, by supplying us for several or many days at once. thus it is now. during the last three days we received more than was required for each of those days, and it was still more abundantly so today; for this afternoon a person, residing at keynsham, gave me l., and this evening a brother gave me l. when i received this l., we were not in absolute need, but had enough for two or three days; yet i see the kindness of the lord in sending this donation, as i had been repeatedly of late praying for means, and as we are thus enabled to do things which are not absolutely needful just now, though desirable, and as we have thus the continued proof of his willingness to send means. april . from the end of nov. , till about the middle of march, , there was always as much in hand as was needed for the school-bible-and tract fund; for besides the help, which we received through the two donations of l. and l., a number of smaller donations came in after. but now for some weeks past all means were again gone, and on the last three saturdays all the usual remuneration could not be given to all the teachers in the day-schools. in addition to this, the greater part of the common sort of bibles and testaments, for circulation among the poor and for schools was gone. i had also often prayed for means to assist missionary brethren. under these circumstances i received this morning from a. b., who has been already repeatedly referred to, as having been used by the lord to help us in our need, the sum of l. may . besides the l. which was given on april th, for the orphans, and the money we had in hand before the l. was given, there has come in since then l. s. d.; but today, saturday, we have again only l. s. / d. left, which, however, is enough for today, and a few shillings will be left for the beginning of next week. may . on saturday came in by sale of articles l. s., and by a donation s., and yesterday was put anonymously into the chapel boxes s. d. so we have more than enough for the expenses of today. may . by the produce of some little boxes, made by a sister, there came in s. d., by a donation. s. d., by the contents of an orphan-box from crediton. s. d., and by sale of articles s. by these small donations all that is needed for today is met. the brother, who sent me the s. d, from crediton, wrote, that he did not like to wait till this little sum had increased, before he sent it, as it might be just now needed; and thus it was. may . the lord has again helped for today and tomorrow. last evening i received through a brother s., and this morning the boxes in the orphan-houses were opened, in which l. s. / d. was found; some one also bought a report and gave s. for it. may . on the th there came in l. s. d., on the th l. s. d., on the th l. was sent from barnstaple by three sisters, and l. s. came in besides. by i the income of these three days i was not only able to meet their own demands, but i had enough for today, though i required no less than l. s. may . yesterday there was only l. s. left, not nearly enough for what was required today. when i came home last evening, having spent a part of the afternoon at the infant-orphan-house, where i found that several articles were needed, i heard that a gentleman had called and wished to be shown into my room, where he had written a paper, which he had put with some money into the orphan-box. on opening it i found the paper to contain four sovereigns. thus we are helped for the present. may . only s. came in, through the boxes at my house. may . yesterday i paid out all to the last penny i had in hand. when now there was nothing left, l. came in by the sale of some books, and l. s. d. by two donations, whereby i was able to meet this day�s need. may . this morning l. s. d. came in. we have thus, with the little which was left yesterday, l. s. d. for this day, saturday but i know not whether that will be enough.--evening. this evening at six o�clock one of my sisters-in-law returned from plymouth, where she had been staying for a little while, and brought from a sister in the lord l., from another sister l. s., and also a parcel from some sisters in the lord in the neighbourhood of kingsbridge, containing l s., and the following articles: a pair of shoes, pairs of socks, pairs of cuffs, a pair of mittens, little mats, a pincushion cover, a comb, books, clasps, brooches, a gold pin, a chain, a vinaigrette, a turk�s head cushion, and yards of calico. also a parcel from plymouth, containing veils and a scarf. also from another sister, netted handkerchiefs. --the money i took at once to the orphan houses, where i found, that, to meet the present expenses, l. s. more was required than what i had been able to send in the morning, as altogether about l. s. was needed for this day. how kind, therefore, of the lord, to send this money so opportunely, though only towards the evening of the day! thus we had enough, and a little left towards the need of monday. may . monday. yesterday came in s. d., and today s. d. as this, together with what had been left in hand, was not quite enough, one of the labourers added s. d. of his own. thus we had l. s. d. for the need of today. may . we are still supplied by the day. we had received from the lord during the last days also what we required, but we were poor, having nothing at all in hand. under these circumstances with reference to means for the orphans, and in as great need for the other objects of the institution, two persons, professed believers, called on me today, who were going from house to house in the street where i live, to ask money for a chapel debt. i remonstrated with them, and sought to show them how the name of the lord was dishonoured by them, in calling upon the enemies of the lord for pecuniary assistance towards, what they considered, the work of the lord. i sought to show them, that if their work were of god, he would, in answer to their prayers, send them help: and if not, ought they not to give up, what was not his work, and not force the matter by calling promiscuously from house to house upon believers and unbelievers. their reply was: "the gold and silver are the lord�s, and therefore we call upon the unconverted for help for his work." my reply was: "because the gold and silver are the lord�s, therefore we, his children, need not go to his enemies for the support of his work." now, at that very moment, while i was thus speaking for the lord, having then nothing at all in hand for the orphans or the other objects, the postman brought a small brown paper parcel and a letter. my conversation seemed, for the time at least, fruitless; for those two individuals, having left, went as before from house to house; but when i came back to my room, i found the blessedness of the scriptural way; for that parcel, which the postman had brought, while i was conversing, came from ireland, and contained two post-office orders for l. each, and a worked stool cover; the letter which had been brought, and which was from seaton, contained l. for the orphans; and l. s. d. had been sent, having been taken out of the boxes in the orphan houses: so that altogether, whilst those two persons were with me, l. s. d. had come in. half of the l. i put to the orphan-fund, and half to the other funds, there being nothing in hand to supply the teachers in the day-schools during this week. may . today a box with many articles arrived from the neighbourhood of droitwich, and l. s. d, was received by the sale of articles. may , s. d. came in. may . monday. on saturday, after having supplied the need of that day, which was l. s., and now again little being left in my hands, a brother from cork brought me a parcel which contained pairs of children�s shoes, a pair of little boots, a pair of list slippers (all new), books, pincushions, a knitted watch pocket, and thimbles. the same brother gave also s. d. and a book. in the evening a brother gave me l.--yesterday was put into the chapel boxes s. with eccles. ix. , and s. d. besides. by these donations, with what was left on saturday, i am able to meet the demands of this day, being l. s. may . by the produce of the sale of stockings, knitted by the orphan-boys, by some help which one of the labourers was able to give, by a donation, etc., we were supplied during the last three days. now this morning, when again in much need, i received a note, which contained l. with eccles. ix. . by means of this l. i was able to meet the expenses of today, which are l. s. d. june . yesterday there came in still further l. s. d. by sale of articles, and today by needlework, done by the orphans, l. s. d. thus i am able (including what remained of the l.) to supply the need of this day, which is l. s.--still further came in s. june . monday. yesterday came in l s. l / d. this, with what was in hand from saturday, met the demands of today. june . this morning came in l. s. d. by the sale of a few trinkets and of some pieces of old silver. this was enough for this day�s need, and left something over, as only l. s. was required. this afternoon arrived a parcel from westmoreland, containing chemises, shirts, petticoats, a pinafore, night caps, pairs of stockings (all new), and / yards of print. thus we are encouraged day after day, though for many days we have now been again very poor. june . last evening a brother gave me a dozen of modern silver tea-spoons, which, being this morning readily disposed of at a good price, supplied our need for today. for several days i have now had day by day especial prayer with some of my fellow-labourers about the work, and particularly for pecuniary supplies; and surely we do not wait in vain upon the lord. before this day is over we have had another proof of it. this afternoon a parcel was brought by a brother from london, containing a silver cream jug, a pair of gilt earrings, a gold ring, bracelets, and a muffineer. the same donor sent also a sovereign. the bearer brought also another donation of s. d. a lady also called this afternoon at the infant-orphan-house, to see the institution, and gave s. june . on the th came in s. d. and s. d.; and yesterday was received, by the sale of the silver cream jug and a few other little articles l. s. d., by the sale of stockings s., and by a donation s. thus we had enough for today, though the need was l. s. d., as l. s. d. had come in yesterday, and a few shillings had been left before. june . monday. though on saturday all our necessities were comfortably supplied, yet i had then not one penny left. our heavenly father, however, having given us grace to trust in him, and not to be anxiously concerned about monday, gave us, even late on saturday evening, a proof of his loving tender care over us. the labourers met, as usual, on saturday evening for prayer, and we continued in prayer from a little after seven till about nine o�clock. after we had separated, a sister, who had been waiting at the infant-orphan-house, till our prayer was over, gave s., saying that she had intended to give it to me on the lord�s-day morning, but had felt herself stirred up to bring it that evening.--nothing came in yesterday. i met this morning with some of the labourers again for prayer, as i have now been doing daily for about a fortnight, and we again asked the lord for help, with regard to the writing of the report, that he would let his blessing rest upon it, bless the intended public meetings, when the account of the lord�s dealings with us will be given, convert the children, give the needful grace and wisdom to us who are engaged in the work, give us means for the day-schools, means for ordering a quantity of oatmeal from scotland, for colouring down the orphan-houses, for the supply of the present need, etc. there was only the s. in hand for the need of today, which i had reason to believe would be about l. now see the lord�s help i just now, at eleven o�clock, when the letter bag is brought for the money for today�s need, i receive in it l. s. d., which had been taken by brother r. b. out of the boxes in the orphan-houses, and half-a-sovereign, which had been sent by a brother in suffolk. thus we have l. s. d., whilst only l. s. is needed today. in the course of reading the holy scriptures in my family this morning, came the word: "ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." (matth. vii. .) i pleaded this word especially with the lord, while i was again praying, after the family prayer was over, with some of the labourers; and surely he has proved afresh that he acts according to his word. --evening. the lord sent still further help today. this afternoon a person called at the infant-orphan-house, and gave s., and two ladies met the teacher of the infant-orphan-house in the street, and gave her a paper, directed to me, which contained s. s. was also given by a person at clifton. june . by what had come in on the th we were supplied yesterday and also today, and i had three pence left, after i had sent off to the matrons of the four houses what they needed. i then gave myself to prayer with some of the labourers for the supplies of the present need, mentioning again before the lord all the many things for which we need his help. about one hour after, i received s. for the orphans from a brother of guernsey, who has been staying a few days in bristol. june . last evening came in still further, by the sale of articles, s. d.; and s. d. by the sale of some musk plants, which two sisters in the lord rear and sell for the benefit of the orphans; and this morning i received s. d., being six donations. likewise two small silver coins were given me, and l. s. d. i received by the sale of articles. june . there came in still further last evening s., and this morning by the boxes in the orphan-houses s. d. this evening l. s. was sent with an orphan, from carne in suffolk. june . as only s. had come in on the th and th, we were now extremely poor; but the lord looked upon our necessity, for l. was sent by a christian lady at scarborough, and a person from manchester gave l. june . saturday evening. only s. came in the day before yesterday, and s. d. was taken this morning out of the boxes in the orphan-houses.--this has been one of those weeks, in which i have prayed particularly much for means, and in which the lord seemed little to regard my requests. but my soul, through grace, has been in perfect peace, being fully assured, that he in his own good time will again send larger supplies. in every way we are now very poor, and it seems desirable that we should have large sums to meet the present circumstances. after much prayer the lord has closed the week with fresh proofs of his loving tender care over the work, which has been a great refreshment to my spirit. there came in this evening, between eight and nine o�clock, by sale of stockings s., by sale of other articles l. s. d., by a donation from an irish sister s., and a physician in bristol kindly sent me l., and his little children s.--how can my soul sufficiently praise the lord for his tender mercies and his readiness to bear the prayers of his servant! all these fresh deliverances in the hour of great need show most clearly, that it is only for the trial of our faith, for our profit, for the profit of others who may hear of it, and for the glory of the lord, that he sometimes seems not to regard our petitions. june , monday. yesterday came in by donations s. d., anonymously was put into the chapel boxes s., add s. was given to ore as the produce of the sale of musk plants. today two orphans were brought from bath; for though we are so poor, the work goes forward, and children are received as long as there is room. the person who brought them put two sovereigns into the boxes at the orphan-houses. thus we have again, with what came in on saturday evening, more than is needed for today and tomorrow. june . today i received from scotland l., to be used as most needed, of which i took one-half for the orphans, and the other half for the other objects. thus, in our great need, the lord supplies us from day to day, and hears our prayers, which we daily bring to him, though there have not yet come in larger sums for oatmeal, salary of the labourers in the orphan-houses, colouring down the four houses, etc.; but the lord in his own time will send means for these expenses also. june . day after day our great poverty continues; yet day after day the lord helps us. this evening was received from the neighbourhood of bideford s. d., a chess board, and a gold pin. there came in also by the sale of articles l. s. d., and by reports s. june . this evening i received l. between nine and ten o�clock, at a time of the greatest poverty. a little boy likewise gave me d. this evening, and from a sister i received this morning s. july . on the st came in s., and today, by the boxes in the orphan-houses, s. d., by sale of articles s. d., and from suffolk was sent a donation of l. s. july . it is now about six weeks since i have been daily entreating the lord, both alone and with some of my fellow labourers, that he would be pleased to send us the supplies which we required, both to meet the ordinary and extraordinary expenses. of late we have been also especially asking the lord, that he would be pleased to send a rich supply before the public meetings, (which will commence, if the lord will, on the th) in order that it may be seen that without public meetings, and without publishing fresh reports, we are yet able, by faith and prayer, to draw down help from the living god. as to ourselves, through grace we should be able to lean upon the lord, and expect help from him, though not another report were written, nor another public meeting held, at which the account about his dealings with us is given. we have given proof of this, in that when the year was up on may , , no report was published, and no meetings on the subject were held; and also when the second year had passed away, i still did not publish another account, because a weakness in one of my eyes seemed to point it out that the lord�s time had not yet come, although by forcing the matter i might even then have written the report. but whilst i do not write the reports for the sake of obtaining money, nor give the account of the lord�s dealings with us at the public meetings for the sake of influencing persons to help us with their means, nor do so for the sake of exposing our poverty; yet some persons might think so. our prayer, therefore, had been particularly, that the lord not only would be pleased to give us what we required day by day, but that he would also send in again largely, in order to show that he was willing to hear our prayers, and influence the minds of his children who have the means, to contribute considerably, though it was now more than two years since the last report was published. not that we were anxiously concerned even about this: for in the whole work we desire to stand with god, and not to depend upon the favourable or unfavourable judgment of the multitude; yet our souls longed, in pity to those who might seek an occasion, that even the shadow of ground might be cut off for persons to say: "they cannot get any more money, and therefore they now publish another report." my soul, therefore, had assurance that the lord not only would supply our need up to the time when the accounts were closed and the public meetings would be held; but also that he would send in means more largely than he had done for some time past. and thus it was. when on saturday evening, july th, more money was needed than there was in hand, i received about eight o�clock a post-office order for l. from jersey, of which half is for the orphans and half for the other objects. there came in also at the same time s. d. by sale of articles. i received likewise at the same time a small paper box by post, containing four mourning rings (of fine stamped gold), other gold rings, a gold seal, a gold locket, a pearl necklace, brooches, a gold watch key, and a few other little things. this was a valuable donation, but doubly so under our circumstances. and now today a. b. sent l., of which i took one half for the orphans, and the other half for the other funds. besides the reasons just referred to, why this donation is so seasonable, i would only mention one more: the brother who kindly procures the oatmeal for us in scotland, had written to say, that he had just now some which was very good, if we liked to have it. we could not say we needed none, for by the time it could be sent our meal would be gone: nothing therefore remained but to continue waiting on the lord for means. and now, when we needed to send an answer, this l. came, so that we were able to order a ton of oatmeal.-- s. besides came in this day. july . this is the last day before the accounts are closed, and this day also the lord has sent in liberally. being thus helped day by day up to the last moment of this period, we go on cheerfully to the next, leaning upon the lord. it is scarcely needful to state at the close of these details, with reference to the last two years and nine weeks, that, notwithstanding our having been often poor, and very poor, yet the children in the orphan-houses have always had the needful articles of clothing and nourishing food; indeed this is sufficiently proved by the healthy countenances of the children. should any one question, that the children are provided with what they need, he may at any time have the proof of it, by seeing the children at their meals, inspecting their clothes, &c. but those who know what it is to walk in the fear of god, know also, that god would not help us, in answer to our prayers, if we hypocritically stated that the children were well provided with wholesome food, etc., and yet it were not true. rather than keep the orphans, whilst we were unable to provide for them, we would send them at once back to their relations. on july , , it was two years and nine weeks since the last public account about the scriptural knowledge institution was given. in that last report it was stated, that we desired to leave it to the lord�s direction, as to the time when another should be published. when the year was expired, i saw no particular reason to lead me to think that i ought to serve the church of christ by publishing a fresh narrative about the orphan-houses and the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, neither did i see a leading of the lord towards this service; and soon after, it pleased the lord to call me to labour in germany. having returned in march , it appeared to me desirable now to publish, at the close of the second year, which would be up on may , , a fresh account: partly, because of the reports, which had been printed, only a few copies were remaining; partly, because many believers expressed a great desire for some further account of the lord�s dealings with us in the work; partly, because there was now an abundance of profitable matter ready to be communicated; and most of all, because i was longing to show by a public audited account, that the considerable sums, with which i had been entrusted, had been appropriated according to the intention of the donors. but much as i desired, for the above reasons, to have written the report then, the weakness in one of my eyes already mentioned prevented my doing so, till at last, my eye being better, i was enabled to do so. i now add a few particulars with reference to the operations of the scriptural knowledge institution, for home and abroad, from may , , to july , . during this period also six day-schools for poor children were supported by the funds of this institution. besides this, the rent for the school-room of a seventh school, was paid during a great part of this period, and also occasional other assistance was given to this and two other schools.--the number of all the children that had schooling in the day-schools, through the medium of the institution, from march , , to july , , amounts to . the number of those in the six day-schools on july , , was . during this period likewise, one sunday-school was supported by the funds of the institution. the number of adults that were instructed from jan. , to july , , in the two adult schools of the institution, amounts to persons. the average attendance during the winter was from to persons, and in the summer from to . the number on the list of adult scholars was on july , , eighty persons. books, writing materials, and instruction, are given entirely gratis to the adult scholars. the number of bibles and testaments which were circulated from may , , to july , , is as follows:-- bibles were sold, and bibles were given away. new testaments were sold, and new testaments were given away.--from march , , to july, , , there were circulated , bibles, and , new testaments. from may , , to july , , was laid out for missionary objects the sum of l. s. d., whereby assistance was rendered to the work of god in jamaica, in demerara, in upper canada, in the east indies, in the mauritius, and in switzerland. from may , , to july , , was laid out for the circulation of tracts the sum of l. s. / d. during this period were circulated , tracts, and altogether were circulated, from nov. , , to july , , , tracts. from may , , to july , , there were received into the four orphan-houses, orphans, who, together with those who were in the houses on may , , made up in all. of these: , one girl left the institution against our will. her aunt repeatedly applied to me to have her niece, who, having been more than eight years under our care, was now of use to her. i remonstrated with the aunt, and sought to show her the importance of leaving her niece with us for another twelvemonth, when she would be fit to be sent out to service; but all in vain. at last, knowing how exceedingly injurious her house would be for her niece, i told the aunt that i could not conscientiously dismiss the girl to go to her house; but the aunt�s influence induced the orphan to leave. may god, in tender mercy, visit the soul of this poor wanderer! such cases are trying, very trying, but even concerning them faith contains a precious antidote. , two of the children were removed by their friends, who by that time were able to provide for them. , one girl, who was received when grown up, we were obliged, after a long season of trial, to send back to her relations, in mercy to the other children. , three girls were sent out to service, all three as believers. , three orphans died, one as an infant, and two in the faith. one had been more than two years in church fellowship, and had walked consistently. , four boys were apprenticed, two of whom had been several years in church fellowship, before their apprenticeship. there were on july , , one hundred and twenty-one orphans in the four houses. the number of the orphans who were under our care from april , to july , , amounts to . i notice further the following points in connexion with the orphan-houses. . without any one having been personally applied to for any thing by me, the sum of l. s. / d. was given to me as the result of prayer to god, from dec. , to july, , . . besides this, also, many articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, etc., were given. . during these two years and two months we had very little sickness, comparatively in the four houses, though there was so much fever in bristol. i mention this to the praise of the lord, who mercifully preserved us. the total of the income for the orphan-houses, from may , , to july , , was l. s. / d., leaving a balance of l. s. / d. in hand on july , . --the total of the income for the other objects from may , , to july , , was l. s. / d., leaving a balance of l. s. d. in hand on july , . i cannot omit mentioning that between. may , , and july , , there was admitted to communion one of the sunday-school children, and one of the day-school children. likewise more of the orphans were received into church fellowship, so that up to july , , altogether of the orphans had been admitted. in addition to this, between may , , and july , , one orphan, before being received, died in the faith, and another, though but nine years of age, would have been received, had she not been just then removed by her relatives, who took her with them to america. but whilst we desire to receive these instances as precious encouragements from the lord to continue our service, we cannot but believe, judging from the many prayers the lord gives us for the dear children and adults under our care and instruction, that that which we see is but an earnest of a far larger harvest in the day of christ�s appearing.--the greatest present visible blessing, which is resting upon the work, consists in what the lord is pleased to do through the narratives which are written and published respecting it; for a very considerable number, in various parts of the world, have through them either been converted, or, as believers, led on in the knowledge of god. to avoid misunderstanding, it may be well to insert the following paragraph, which was written by my beloved brother and fellow labourer henry craik, and appended to the last report. "hitherto, my name has been appended to the report along with that of my beloved brother and fellow labourer george müller; but, as the responsibility and management of the work devolve entirely upon him, it has seemed well to both of us, that, for the future, his signature should appear alone.--it is scarcely needful to add, that this alteration does not arise from any kind of disunion or even difference of judgment between us. i would especially recommend to the people of god, into whose hands this brief narrative may fall, to read, examine and ponder the instructive facts and principles herein stated and illustrated; and i desire that the non-insertion of my name may not be understood as implying anything like a disapproval of the way in which the scriptural knowledge institution has been conducted from the beginning. as the honour of being the instrument in this great and blessed work belongs to him, and, in no degree, to me, i feel a satisfaction in the omission of my name, lest, otherwise, i should even appear to glory in �another man�s labour.� henry craik." thus far only, for the present at least, do i think it well to continue the accounts of the lord�s dealings with me. but i cannot conclude this third part, without adding some hints on a few passages of the word of god, both because i have so very frequently found them little regarded by christians, and also because i have proved their preciousness, in some measure, in my own experience; and therefore wish that all my fellow saints may share the blessing with me. . in matthew vi - , it is written: "lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."--observe, dear reader, the following points concerning this part of the divine testimony: , it is the lord jesus, our lord and master, who speaks this as the lawgiver of his people. he who has infinite wisdom and unfathomable love to us, who therefore both knows what is for our real welfare and happiness, and who cannot exact from us any requirement inconsistent with that love which led him to lay down his life for us. remembering, then, who it is who speaks to us in these verses, let us consider them. , his counsel, his affectionate entreaty, and his commandment to us his disciples is: "lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth." the meaning obviously is, that the disciples of the lord jesus, being strangers and pilgrims on earth, i.e. neither belonging to the earth nor expecting to remain in it, should not seek to increase their earthly possessions, in whatever these possessions may consist. this is a word for poor believers as well as for rich believers; it has as much a reference to putting shillings into the savings� banks as to putting thousands of pounds into the funds, or purchasing one house, or one farm after another.--it may be said, but does not every prudent and provident person seek to increase his means, that he may have a goodly portion to leave to his children, or to have something for old age, or for the time of sickness, etc.? my reply is, it is quite true that this is the custom of the world. it was thus in the days of our lord, and paul refers to this custom of the world when he says, "the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children." cor. xii. . but whilst thus it is in the world, and we have every reason to believe ever will be so among those that are of the world, and who therefore have their portion on earth, we disciples of the lord jesus, being born again, being the children of god not nominally, but really, being truly partakers of the divine nature, being in fellowship with the father and the son, and having in prospect "an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away" ( peter i. .), ought in every respect to act differently from the world, and so in this particular also. if we disciples of the lord jesus seek, like the people of the world, after an increase of our possessions, may not those who are of the world justly question whether we believe what we say, when we speak about our inheritance, our heavenly calling, our being the children of god, etc.? often it must be a sad stumbling block to the unbeliever to see a professed believer in the lord jesus acting in this particular just like himself. consider this, dear brethren in the lord, should this remark apply to you.--i have more than once had the following passage quoted to me as a proof that parents ought to lay up money for their children, or husbands for their wives: "but if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house (or kindred), he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." tim. v. . it is, however, concerning this verse, only needful, in childlike simplicity to read the connexion from verse to , and it will be obvious that the meaning is this, that whilst the poor widows of the church are to be cared for by the church, yet if any such needy believing widow had children or grandchildren (not nephews), these children or grandchildren should provide for the widow, that the church might not be charged; but that, if a believer�s child or grandchild, in such a case did not do so, such a one did not act according to the obligations laid upon him by his holy faith, and was worse than an unbeliever. not a word, then, is there in this passage to favour the laying up treasures upon earth for our children, or our wives. , our lord says concerning the earth, that it is a place "where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal." all that is of the earth, and in any way connected with it, is subject to corruption, to change, to dissolution. there is no reality, or substance, in any thing else but in heavenly things. often the careful amassing of earthly possessions ends in losing them in a moment by fire, by robbery, by a change of mercantile concerns, by loss of work, etc.; but suppose all this were not the case, still, yet a little while, and thy soul shall be required of thee; or, yet a little while, and the lord jesus will return; and what profit shalt thou then have, dear reader, if thou hast carefully sought to increase thy earthly possessions? my brother, if there were one particle of real benefit to be derived from it, would not he, whose love to us has been proved to the uttermost, have wished that you and i should have it? if, in the least degree, it could tend to the increase of our peace, or joy in the holy ghost, or heavenly-mindedness, he, who laid down his life for us, would have commanded us, to "lay up treasure upon earth." , our lord, however, does not merely bid us, not to lay up treasure upon earth; for if he had said no more, this his commandment might be abused, and persons might find in it an encouragement for their extravagant habits, for their love of pleasure, for their habit of spending every thing they have, or can obtain, upon themselves. it does not mean, then, as is the common phrase, that we should "live up to our income;" for, he adds: "but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven." there is such a thing as laying up as truly in heaven as there is laying up on earth; if it were not so, our lord would not have said so. just as persons put one sum after another into the bank, and it is put down to their credit, and they may use the money afterwards: so truly the penny, the shilling, the pound, the hundred pounds, the ten thousand pounds, given for the lord�s sake, and constrained by the love of jesus, to poor brethren, or in any way spent in the work of god, he marks down in the book of remembrance, he considers as laid up in heaven. the money is not lost, it is laid up in the bank of heaven; yet so, that, whilst an earthly bank may break, or through earthly circumstances we may lose our earthly possessions, the money, which is thus secured in heaven, cannot be lost. but this is by no means the only difference. i notice a few more points. treasures laid up on earth bring along with them many cares; treasures laid up in heaven never give care. treasures laid up on earth never can afford spiritual joy; treasures laid up in heaven bring along with them peace and joy in the holy ghost even now. treasures laid up on earth, in a dying hour cannot afford peace and comfort, and when life is over, they are taken from us; treasures laid up in heaven draw forth thanksgiving, that we were permitted and counted worthy to serve the lord with the means with which he was pleased to intrust us as stewards; and when this life is over we are not deprived of what was laid up there, but when we go to heaven we go to the place where our treasures are, and we shall find them there. often we hear it said when a person has died: he died worth so much. but whatever be the phrases common in the world, it is certain that a person may die worth fifty thousand pounds sterling, as the world reckons, and yet that individual may not possess, in the sight of god, one thousand pounds sterling, because he was not rich towards god, he did not lay up treasure in heaven. and so on the other hand, we can suppose a man of god falling asleep in jesus, and his surviving widow finding scarcely enough left behind him to suffice for the funeral, who was nevertheless rich towards god; in the sight of god he may possess five thousand pounds sterling, he may have laid up that sum in heaven. dear reader, does your soul long to be rich towards god, to lay up treasures in heaven? the world passes away and the lust thereof! yet a little while, and our stewardship will be taken from us. at present we have the opportunity of serving the lord, with our time, our talents, our bodily strength, our gifts, and also with our property; but shortly this opportunity may cease. oh! how shortly may it cease. before ever this is read by any one, i may have fallen asleep; and the very next day after you have read this, dear reader, you may fall asleep, and therefore, whilst we have the opportunity, let us serve the lord.--i believe, and therefore i speak. my own soul is so fully assured of the wisdom and love of the lord towards us his disciples as expressed in this word, that by his grace i do most heartily set my seal to the preciousness of the command, and i do from my inmost soul not only desire not to lay up treasures upon earth, but, believing as i do what the lord says, i do desire to have grace to lay up treasures in heaven. and then, suppose after a little while you should fall asleep, some one may say, your wife and, child will be unprovided for, because you did not make a provision for them. my reply is, the lord will take care of them. the lord will abundantly provide for them, as he now abundantly provides for us. , the lord lastly adds: "for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." where should the heart of the disciple of the lord jesus be, but in heaven? our calling is a heavenly calling, our inheritance is a heavenly inheritance, and reserved for us in heaven; our citizenship is in heaven; but if we believers in the lord jesus lay up treasures on earth, the necessary result of it is, that our hearts will be upon earth; nay, the very fact of our doing so proves that they are there! nor will it be otherwise, till there be a ceasing to lay up treasures upon earth. the believer who lays up treasures upon earth may, at first, not live openly in sin; he in a measure may yet bring some honour to the lord in certain things; but the injurious tendencies of this habit will show themselves more and more, whilst the habit of laying up treasures in heaven would draw the heart more and more heavenward; would be continually strengthening his new, his divine nature, his spiritual faculties, because it would call his spiritual faculties into use, and thus they would be strengthened; and he would more and more, whilst yet in the body, have his heart in heaven, and set upon heavenly things; and thus the laying up treasures in heaven would bring along with it, even in this life, precious spiritual blessings as a reward of obedience to the commandment of our lord. ii. the next passage, on which i desire to make a few remarks, is matthew vi. . "but seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." after our lord, in the previous verses, had been pointing his disciples "to the fowls of the air," and "the lilies of the field," in order that they should be without carefulness about the necessaries of life; he adds: "therefore take no thought, (literally, be not anxious) saying, what shall we eat? or, what shall we drink? or, wherewithal shall we be clothed? (for after all these things do the gentiles seek;) for your heavenly father knoweth that ye have need of all these things." observe here particularly that we, the children of god, should be different from the nations of the earth, from those who have no father in heaven, and who therefore make it their great business, their first anxious concern, what they shall eat, and what they shall drink, and wherewithal they shall be clothed. we, the children of god, should, as in every other respect, so in this particular also, be different from the world, and prove to the world that we believe that we have a father in heaven, who knoweth that we have need of all these things. the fact that our almighty father, who is full of infinite love to us his children, (and who has proved to us his love in the gift of his only begotten son, and his almighty power in raising him from the dead), knows that we have need of these things, should remove all anxiety from our minds. there is, however, one thing that we have to attend to, and which we ought to attend to, with reference to our temporal necessities, it is mentioned in our verse: "but seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness." the great business which the disciple of the lord jesus has to be concerned about (for this word was spoken to disciples, to professed believers) is, to seek the kingdom of god, i.e. to seek, as i view it, after the external and internal prosperity of the church of christ. if, according to our ability, and according to the opportunity which the lord gives us, we seek to win souls for the lord jesus, that appears to me to be seeking the eternal prosperity of the kingdom of god; and if we, as members of the body of christ, seek to benefit our fellow members in the body, helping them on in grace and truth, or caring for them in any way to their edification, that would be seeking the internal prosperity of the kingdom of god. but in connexion with this we have also "to seek his righteousness," which means, (as it was spoken to disciples, to those who have a father in heaven, and not to those who were without), to seek to be more and more like god, to seek to be inwardly conformed to the mind of god.--if these two things are attended to, (and they imply also that we are not slothful in business), then do we come under that precious promise: "and all these things (that is food, raiment, or anything else that is needful for this present life), shall be added unto you." it is not for attending to these two things that we obtain the blessing, but in attending to them. i now ask you, my dear reader, a few questions in all love, because i do seek your welfare, and i do not wish to put these questions to you, without putting them first to my own heart. do you make it your primary business, your first great concern to seek the kingdom of god and his righteousness? are the things of god, the honour of his name, the welfare of his church, the conversion of sinners, and the profit of your own soul, your chief aim? or does your business, or your family, or your own temporal concerns, in some shape or other primarily occupy your attention? if the latter be the case, then, though you may have all the necessaries of life, yet could you be surprised if you had them not? remember that the world passeth away, but that the things of god endure for ever. i never knew a child of god who acted according to the above passage, in whose experience the lord did not fulfil his word of promise "all these things shall be added unto you." iii. the third portion of the divine testimony, on which i desire to throw out a few hints, is in i john i. . "and truly our fellowship is with the father, and with his son jesus christ." observe!, the words "fellowship," "communion," "coparticipation," and "partnership," mean the same. , the believer in the lord jesus does not only obtain forgiveness of all his sins (as he does through the shedding of the blood of jesus, by faith in his name;) does not only become a righteous one before god (through the righteousness of the lord jesus, by faith in his name;) is not only begotten again, born of god, and partaker of the divine nature, and therefore a child of god, and an heir of god; but he is also in fellowship or partnership with god. now, so far as it regards god, and our standing in the lord jesus, we have this blessing once for all; nor does it allow of either an increase or a decrease. just as god�s love to us believers, his children, is unalterably the same (whatever may be the manifestations of that love:) and as his peace with us is the same, (however much our peace may be disturbed:) so it is also with regard to our being in fellowship or partnership with him: it remains unalterably the same, so far as god is concerned. but then , there is an experimental fellowship, or partnership, with the father and with his son, which consists in this, that all which we possess in god, as being the partners or fellows of god, is brought down into our daily life, is enjoyed, experienced, and used. this experimental fellowship, or partnership, allows of an increase or a decrease, in the measure in which faith is in exercise, and in which we are entering into what we have received in the lord jesus. the measure in which we enjoy this experimental fellowship with the father and with the son is without limit; for without limit we may make use of our partnership with the father and with the son, and draw by prayer and faith out of the inexhaustible fulness which there is in god.--let us now take a few instances in order to see the practical working of this experimental fellowship (or partnership) with the father and with the son. suppose there are two believing parents who were not brought to the knowledge of the truth until some years after the lord had given them several children. their children were brought up in sinful, evil ways, whilst the parents did not know the lord. now the parents reap as they sowed. they suffer from having set an evil example before their children; for their children are unruly and behave most improperly. what is now to be done? need such parents despair? no. the first thing they have to do is, to make confession of their sins to god, with regard to neglecting their children whilst they were themselves living in sin, and then to remember that they are in partnership with god, and therefore to be of good courage, though they are in themselves still utterly insufficient for the task of managing their children. they have in themselves neither the wisdom, nor the patience, nor the long-suffering, nor the gentleness, nor the meekness, nor the love, nor the decision and firmness, nor any thing else that may be needful in dealing with their children aright. but their heavenly father has all this. the lord jesus possesses all this. and they are in partnership with the father, and with the son, and therefore they can obtain by prayer and faith all they need out of the fulness of god. i say by prayer and faith; for we have to make known our need to god in prayer, ask his help, and then we have to believe that he will give us what we need. prayer alone is not enough. we may pray never so much, yet if we do not believe that god will give us what we need, we have no reason to expect that we shall receive what we have asked for. so then these parents would need to ask god to give them the needful wisdom, patience, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, love, decision, firmness, and whatever else they may judge they need. they may in humble boldness remind their heavenly father that his word assures them that they are in partnership with him, and, as they themselves are lacking in these particulars, ask him to be pleased to supply their need; and then they have to believe that god will do it, and they shall receive according to their need.--another instance: suppose i am so situated in my business that day by day such difficulties arise, that i continually find that i take wrong steps, by reason of these great difficulties. how may the case be altered for the better? in myself i see no remedy for the difficulties. in looking at myself i can expect nothing but to make still further mistakes, and, therefore, trial upon trial seems to be before me. and yet i need not despair. the living god is my partner. i have not sufficient wisdom to meet these difficulties so as to be able to know what steps to take, but he is able to direct me. what i have, therefore, to do is this: in simplicity to spread my case before my heavenly father and my lord jesus. the father and the son are my partners. i have to tell out my heart to god, and to ask him, that, as he is my partner, and i have no wisdom in myself to meet all the many difficulties which continually occur in my business, he would be pleased to guide and direct me, and to supply me with the needful wisdom; and then i have to believe that god will do so, and go with good courage to my business, and expect help from him in the next difficulty that may come before me. i have to look out for guidance, i have to expect counsel from the lord; and, as assuredly as i do so, i shall have it, i shall find that i am not nominally, but really in partnership with the father and with the son.--another instance: there are a father and mother with seven small children. both parents are believers. the father works in a manufactory, but cannot earn more than ten shillings per week. the mother cannot earn any thing. these ten shillings are too little for the supply of nourishing and wholesome food for seven growing children and their parents, and for providing them with the other necessaries of life. what is to be done in such a case? surely not to find fault with the manufacturer, who may not be able to afford more wages, and much less to murmur against god; but the parents have in simplicity to tell god, their partner, that the wages of ten shillings a week are not sufficient in england to provide nine persons with all they need, so as that their health be not injured. they have to remind god that he is not hard master, not an unkind being, but a most loving father, who has abundantly proved the love of his heart in the gift of his only begotten son. and they have in childlike simplicity to ask him, that either he would order it so, that the manufacturer may be able to allow more wages; or that he (the lord) would find them another place, where the father would be able to earn more; or that he would be pleased somehow or other, as it may seem good to him, to supply them with more means. they have to ask the lord, in childlike simplicity, again and again for it, if he does not answer their request at once; and they have to believe that god, their father and partner, will give them the desire of their hearts. they have to expect an answer to their prayers; day by day they have to look out for it, and to repeat their request till god grants it. as assuredly as they believe that god will grant them their request, so assuredly it shall be granted.--thus, suppose, i desired more power over my besetting sins; suppose, i desired more power against certain temptations; suppose i desired more wisdom, or grace, or any thing else that i may need in my service among the saints, or in my service towards the unconverted: what have i to do, but to make use of my being in fellowship with the father and with the son? just as, for instance, an old faithful clerk, who is this day taken into partnership by an immensely rich firm, though himself altogether without property, would not be discouraged by reason of a large payment having to be made by the firm within three days, though he himself has no money at all of his own, but would comfort himself with the immense riches possessed by those who so generously have just taken him into partnership: so should we, the children of god and servants of jesus christ, comfort ourselves by being in fellowship, or partnership, with the father, and with the son, though we have no power of our own against our besetting sins; though we cannot withstand temptations, which are before us, in our own strength; and though we have neither sufficient grace nor wisdom for our service among the saints, or towards the unconverted. all we have to do is, to draw upon our partner, the living god. by prayer and faith we may obtain all needful temporal and spiritual help and blessings. in all simplicity have we to tell out our heart before god, and then we have to believe that he will give to us according to our need. but if we do not believe that god will help us, could we be at peace? the clerk, taken into the firm as partner, believes that the firm will meet the payment though so large, and though in three days it is to be made, and it is this that keeps his heart quiet, though altogether poor himself. we have to believe that our infinitely rich partner, the living god, will help us in our need, and we shall not only be in peace, but we shall actually find that the help which we need will be granted to us.--let not the consciousness of your entire unworthiness keep you, dear reader, from believing what god has said concerning you. if you are indeed a believer in the lord jesus, then this precious privilege, of being in partnership with the father and the son, is yours, though you and i are entirely unworthy of it. if the consciousness of our unworthiness were to keep us from believing what god has said concerning those who depend upon and trust in the lord jesus for salvation, then we should find that there is not one single blessing, with which we have been blessed in the lord jesus, from which, on account of our unworthiness, we could derive any settled comfort or peace. iv. there is one other point which, in connexion with several portions of the word of god, which bear on the subject, i desire to bring before the believing reader, and it refers to the "scriptural way of overcoming the difficulties with which the believer now meets who is engaged in a business, trade, profession, or any earthly calling whatever, which arise from competition in business, too great a number of persons being occupied in the same calling, stagnation of trade, and the like." the children of god, who are strangers and pilgrims on earth, have at all times had difficulty in the world, for they are not at home but from home; nor should they, until the return of the lord jesus, expect it to be otherwise with them. but whilst this is true, it is also true that the lord has provided us in all our difficulties with something in his own word to meet them. all difficulties may be overcome by acting according to the word of god. at this time i more especially desire to point out the means whereby the children of god who are engaged in any earthly calling may be able to overcome the difficulties, which arise from competition in business, too great a number of persons being occupied in the same calling, stagnation of trade and the like. , the first thing which the believer, who is in such difficulties, has to ask himself is, am i in a calling in which i can abide with god? if our occupation be of that kind, that we cannot ask god�s blessing upon it, or that we should be ashamed to be found in it at the appearing of the lord jesus, or that it of necessity hinders our spiritual progress, then we must give it up, and be engaged in something else; but in few cases only this is needful. far the greater part of the occupations in which believers are engaged are not of such a nature, as that they need to give them up in order to maintain a good conscience, and in order to be able to walk with god, though, perhaps, certain alterations may need to be made in the manner of conducting their trade, business, or profession. about those parts of our calling, which may need alteration, we shall receive instruction from the lord, if we indeed desire it, and wait upon him for it, and expect it from him. , now suppose the believer is in a calling in which he can abide with god, the next point to be settled is: "why do i carry on this business, or why am i engaged in this trade or profession?" in most instances, so far as my experience goes, which i have gathered in my service among the saints during the last fifty-one years and a half, i believe the answer would be: "i am engaged in my earthly calling, that i may earn the means of obtaining the necessaries of life for myself and family." here is the chief error from which almost all the rest of the errors, which are entertained by children of god, relative to their calling, spring. it is no right and scriptural motive, to be engaged in a trade, or business, or profession, merely in order to earn the means for the obtaining of the necessaries of life for ourselves and family; but us should work, because it is the lord�s will concerning us. this is plain from the following passages; i thess. iv. , ; ii thess. iii. - ; eph. iv. . it is quite true that, in general, the lord provides the necessaries of life by means of our ordinary calling; but that that is not the reason why we should work, is plain enough from the consideration, that if our possessing the necessaries of life depended upon our ability of working, we could never have freedom from anxiety, for we should always have to say to ourselves, and what shall i do when i am too old to work i or when by reason of sickness i am unable to earn my bread? but if on the other hand, we are engaged in our earthly calling, because it is the will of time lord concerning us that we should work, and that thus labouring we may provide for our families and also be able to support the weak, the sick, the aged, and the needy, then we have good and scriptural reason to say to ourselves: should it please the lord to lay me on a bed of sickness, or keep me otherwise by reason of infirmity or old age, or want of employment, from earning my bread by means of the labour of my hands, or my business, or my profession, he will yet provide for me. because we who believe are servants of jesus christ, who has bought us with his own precious blood, and are not our own, and because this our precious lord and master has commanded us to work, therefore we work; and in doing so our lord will provide for us; but whether in this way or any other way, he is sure to provide for us; for we labour in obedience to him; and if even a just earthly master give wages to his servants, the lord will surely see to it that we have our wages, if in obedience to him we are engaged in our calling, and not for our own sake. how great the difference between acting according to the word of god, and according to our own natural desires, or the customs of the world, will be plain, i trust, by the following case. suppose i were engaged in some useful trade. suppose i had the certain human prospect, that within the next three months my labour would bring me in nothing, for certain reasons connected with the state of mercantile affairs. as a man of the world i should say, i shall not work at all, because my labour will not be paid; but as a christian, who desires to act according to god�s holy word, i ought to say: my trade is useful to society, and i will work notwithstanding all human prospects, because the lord jesus has commanded me to labour; from him and not from my trade i expect my wages. in addition to this the christian ought also to say, idleness is a dreadful snare of the devil, he has especial opportunity to get an advantage over the children of god when they are unoccupied; and, therefore, i will work though i have no human prospect of obtaining payment for my labour, but shall get only the cost price of the material, and shall have to give my work for nothing. moreover the christian ought to say, though according to human probability i shall have to labour for nothing during the next three months, yet i will work, because the lord may speedily alter the state of things, contrary to all human expectation; but whether he be pleased to do so or not, i labour because i am the lord�s, bought by his precious blood, and he commands me to labour.--but there are motives still lower than to be engaged in our earthly calling merely that we may earn the means of obtaining the necessaries of life, why even christians, true children of god, may be engaged in their calling, such as: to obtain a certain sum of money, and then to retire from business and to live upon the interest; or, to provide something for old age; or, to obtain a certain amount of property, without intending to give up business. if it be unscriptural to be engaged in our calling, merely, even for the sake of earning the means for procuring the necessaries of life for ourselves and family, how much more unbecoming that a child of god should be engaged in his calling for the sake of any of the last mentioned reasons.--this second point, then, why do i carry on this business? why am i engaged in this trade or profession? ought first to be settled in the fear of god and according to the revealed will of god; and if we cannot say in honesty of heart, i do carry on my business, i am engaged in my trade, or art, or profession, as a servant of jesus christ, whose i am, because he has bought me with his precious blood, and he has commanded me to work, and therefore i work: i say, if we cannot say this in honesty of heart, but must confess that we work on account of lower motives such as, that we may earn our bread, or on account of still lower motives, and such which are altogether unbecoming a child of god, who is not of the world but of god, such as, to obtain a certain sum of money in order to be able to live on the interest without having to work; or, to provide something for old age; or, to obtain a certain amount of property without intending to give up business: if these are our motives for being engaged in our calling, i say, can we be surprised that we meet with great difficulties in our business, and that the lord in his abounding love to us, his erring children, does not allow us to succeed? but suppose this second point is scripturally settled, and we can honestly say that, because we are servants of jesus christ, we are occupied as we are--we have further to consider: , whether we carry on our business, or are engaged in our trade, art, or profession as stewards of the lord. to the child of god it ought not to be enough that he is in a calling in which he can abide with god, nor that he is engaged in his calling, because it is the will of his lord and master that he should work, but he should consider himself in his trade, business, art, or profession, only as the steward of the lord with reference to his income. the child of god has been bought with the precious blood of the lord jesus, and is altogether his property, with all that he possesses, his bodily strength, his mental strength, his ability of every kind, his trade, business, art, or profession, his property, &c.; for it is written: "ye are not your own; for ye are bought with a price." i cor. vi. , . the proceeds of our calling are therefore not our own in the sense of using them as our natural heart wishes us to do, whether to spend them on the gratification of our pride, or our love of pleasure, or sensual indulgences, or to lay by the money for ourselves or our children, or use it in any way as we naturally like; but we have to stand before our lord and master, whose stewards we are, to seek to ascertain his will, how he will have us use the proceeds of our calling. but is this indeed the spirit in which the children of god generally are engaged in their calling? it is but too well known that it is not the case! can we then wonder at it, that even god�s own dear children should so often be found greatly in difficulty with regard to their calling, and be found so often complaining about stagnation or competition in trade, and the difficulties of the times, though there have been given to them such precious promises as: "seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you;" or, "let your conversation (disposition or turn of mind) be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, i will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." heb. xiii. . is it not obvious enough, that, when our heavenly father sees that we his children do or would use the proceeds of our calling, as our natural mind would desire, that he either cannot at all intrust us with means, or will be obliged to decrease them? no wise and really affectionate mother will permit her infant to play with a razor, or with fire, however much the child may desire to have them; and so the love and wisdom of our heavenly father will not, cannot, intrust us with pecuniary means, (except it be in the way of chastisement, or to show us finally their utter vanity,) if he sees that we do not desire to possess them as stewards for him, in order that we may spend them as he may point out to us by his holy spirit, through his word.--in connexion with this subject, i give a few hints to the believing reader on three passages of the word of god. in i cor. xvi. , we find it written to the brethren at corinth, "upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as god has prospered him." a contribution for the poor saints in judea was to be made, and the brethren at corinth were exhorted to put by every lord�s day, according to the measure of success which the lord had been pleased to grant them in their calling during the week. now, ought not the saints in our day also to act according to this word! there is no passage in the word of god, why we should not do so, and it is altogether in accordance with our pilgrim character, not only once or twice, or four times a year to see how much we can afford to give to the poor saints, or to the work of god in any way, but to seek to settle it weekly. if, it be said, i cannot ascertain how much i have gained in the course of the week by my business, and therefore i cannot give accordingly; my reply is this, seek, dear brethren, as much as possible to bring your business upon such a footing, as that you may be able, as nearly as possible, to settle how much you have earned in your calling in the course of the week; but suppose you should be unable to settle it exactly to the shilling or pound, yet you will know pretty well how it has been with you during the week, and therefore, according to your best knowledge, contribute on the coming lord�s day towards the necessities of the poor saints, and towards the work of god, as he, after your having sought his guidance, may lead you. perhaps you say, the weeks are so unlike; in one week i may earn three or even ten times as much as in another week, and if i give according to my earnings from my calling during a very good week, then how are such weeks, when i earn scarcely any thing, or how are the bad debts to be met? how shall i do when sickness befalls my family, or when other trials productive of expense come upon me, if i do not make provision for such seasons? my reply is, , i do not find in the whole new testament one single passage in which either directly or indirectly exhortations are given to provide against deadness in business, bad debts and sickness, by laying up money. , often the lord is obliged to allow deadness in business, or bad debts, or sickness in our family, or other trials, which increase our expenses, to befall us, because we do not, as his stewards, act according to stewardship, but as if we were owners of what we have, forgetting that the time has not yet come when we shall enter upon our possessions and he does so in order that, by these losses and expenses, our property which we have collected may be decreased, lest we should altogether set our hearts again upon earthly things, and forget god entirely. his love is so great, that he will not let his children quietly go their own way when they have forsaken him; but if his loving admonitions by his holy spirit are disregarded, he is obliged in fatherly love to chastise them. a striking illustration of what i have said we have in the case of israel nationally. the commandment to them was, to leave their land uncultivated in the seventh year, in order that it might rest; and the lord promised to make up for this deficiency by his abundant blessing resting upon the sixth year. however, israel acted not according to this commandment, no doubt saying in the unbelief of their hearts, as the lord had foretold, "what shall we eat in the seventh year? behold we shall not sow, nor gather in our increase." leviticus xxv. but what did the lord do? he was determined the land should have rest, and as the israelites did not willingly give it, he sent them for seventy years into captivity, in order that thus the land might have rest. see leviticus xxvi. - . beloved brethren in the lord, let us take heed so to walk as that the lord may not be obliged, by chastisement to take a part of our earthly possessions from us in the way of bad debts, sickness, decrease of business, or the like, because we would not own our position as stewards, but act as owners, and keep for ourselves the means with which the lord had intrusted us, not for the gratification of our own carnal mind, but for the sake of using them in his service and to his praise. it might also be said by a brother whose earnings are small, should i also give according to my earnings? they are already so small, that my wife can only with the greatest difficulty manage to make them sufficient for the family. my reply is: have you ever considered, my brother, that the very reason, why the lord is obliged to let your earnings remain so small, may be the fact of your spending every thing upon yourselves, and that if he were to give you more, you would only use it to increase your own family comfort, instead of looking about to see who among the brethren are sick, or who have no work at all, that you might help them, or how you might assist the work of god at home and abroad? there is a great temptation for a brother whose earnings are small, to put off the responsibility of assisting the needy and sick saints, or helping on the work of god, and to lay it upon the few rich brethren and sisters with whom he is associated in fellowship, and thus rob his own soul!--it might be asked, how much shall i give of my income? the tenth part, or the fifth part, or the third part, or one-half, or more? my reply is, god lays down no rule, concerning this point. what we do we should do cheerfully and not of necessity. but if even jacob with the first dawning of spiritual light (genesis xxviii. ) promised to god the tenth of all he should give to him, how much ought we believers in the lord jesus to do for him; we, whose calling is a heavenly one, and who know distinctly that we are children of god, and joint heirs with the lord jesus! yet do all the children of god give even the tenth part of what the lord gives them? that would be two shillings per week for the brother who earns l., and s. to him who earns l., and l. per week to him whose income is l. per week. in connexion with i cor. xvi. , i would mention two other portions: . "he which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly: and he that soweth bountifully, shall reap also bountifully." ii cor. ix. . it is certain that we children of god are so abundantly blessed in jesus, by the grace of god, that we ought to need no stimulus to good works. the forgiveness of our sins, the having been made for ever the children of god, the having before us the father�s house as our home: these blessings ought to be sufficient motives to constrain us in love and gratitude to serve god abundantly all the days of our life, and cheerfully also to give up, as he may call for it, that with which he has intrusted us of the things of this world. but whilst this is the case, the lord nevertheless holds out to us in his holy word motives why we should serve him, deny ourselves, use our property for him, etc.; and the last mentioned passage is one of that kind. the verse is true, both with reference to the life that is now and that which is to come. if we have been sparingly using our property for him, there will have been little treasure laid up in heaven, and therefore a small amount of capital will be found in the world to come, so far as it regards reaping. again, we shall reap bountifully if we seek to be rich towards god, by abundantly using our means for him, whether in ministering to the necessities of the poor saints, or using otherwise our pecuniary means for his work. dear brethren, these things are realities! shortly, very shortly, will come the reaping time, and then will be the question, whether we shall reap sparingly or bountifully.--but while this passage refers to the life hereafter, it also refers to the life that now is. just as now the love of christ constrains us to communicate of that with which the lord intrusts us, so will be the present reaping, both with regard to spiritual and temporal things. should there be found therefore in a brother the want of entering into his position as being merely a steward for the lord in his calling, and should he give no heed to the admonitions of the holy ghost to communicate to those who are in need, or to help the work of god; then, can such a brother be surprised that he meets with great difficulties in his calling, and that he cannot get on? this is according to the lord�s word. he is sowing sparingly, and he therefore reaps sparingly. but should the love of christ constrain a brother, out of the earnings of his calling to sow bountifully, he will even in this life reap bountifully, both with regard to blessings in his soul and with regard to temporal things. consider in connexion with this the following passage, which, though taken from the book of proverbs, is not of a jewish character, but true concerning believers under the present dispensation also: "there is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty. the liberal son shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself." prov. xi. , .--in connexion with cor. xvi. , i would also direct my brethren in the lord to the promise made in luke vi. , "give and it shall be given unto you: good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. for with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again." this refers evidently to the present dispensation, and evidently in its primary meaning to temporal things. now let any one, constrained by the love of jesus, act according to this passage; let him on the first day of the week communicate as the lord has prospered him, and he will see that the lord will act according to what is contained in this verse. if pride constrain us to give, if self-righteousness make us liberal, if natural feeling induce us to communicate, or if we give whilst we are in a state of insolvency, not possessing more perhaps than ten shillings in the pound were our creditors to come upon us; then we cannot expect to have this verse fulfilled in our experience: nor should we give at any time for the sake of receiving again from others, according to this verse; but if indeed the love of christ constrain us to communicate according to the ability which the lord gives us, then we shall have this verse fulfilled in our experience, though this was not the motive that induced us to give. somehow or other the lord will abundantly repay us through the instrumentality of our fellow men what we are doing for his poor saints, or in any way for his work, and we shall find that in the end we are not losers, even with reference to temporal things, whilst we communicate liberally of the things of this life with which the lord has intrusted us.--here it might be remarked: but if it be so, that even in this life, and with regard to temporal things it is true, that "to him that gives shall be given, good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over," and that "he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully," then in the end the most liberal persons would be exceedingly rich. concerning this remark we have to keep in mind, that the moment persons were to begin to give for the sake of receiving more back again from the lord, through the instrumentality of their fellow men, than they have given; or the moment persons wished to alter their way, and no more go on sowing bountifully, but sparingly, in order to increase their possessions, whilst god is allowing them to reap bountifully, the river of god�s bounty toward them would no longer continue to flow. god had supplied them abundantly with means, because he saw them act as stewards for him. he had intrusted them with a little which they used for him, and he therefore intrusted them with more; and if they had continued to use the much also for him, he would have still more abundantly used them as instruments to scatter abroad his bounties. the child of god must be willing to be a channel through which god�s bounties flow, both with regard to temporal and spiritual things. this channel is narrow and shallow at first, it may be; yet there is room for some of the waters of god�s bounty to pass through. and if we cheerfully yield ourselves as channels, for this purpose, then the channel becomes wider and deeper, and the waters of the bounty of god can pass through more abundantly. without a figure it is thus: at first we may be only instrumental in communicating l. or l. or l. or l. or l. or l. per year, but afterwards double as much; and if we are still more faithful in our stewardship, after a year or two four times as much, afterwards perhaps eight times as much, at last perhaps twenty times or fifty times as much. we cannot limit the extent to which god may use us as instruments in communicating blessing, both temporal and spiritual, if we are willing to yield ourselves as instruments to the living god, and are content to be only instruments, and to give him all the glory. but with regard to temporal things it will be thus, that if indeed we walk according to the mind of god in these things, whilst more and more we become instruments of blessing to others, we shall not seek to enrich ourselves, but be content when the last day of another year finds us still in the body, to possess no more than on the last day of the previous year, or even considerably less, whilst we have been, however, in the course of the year the instruments of communicating largely to others, through the means with which the lord had intrusted us. as to my own soul, by the grace of god it would be a burden to me to find, that, however much my income in the course of a year might have been, i was increasing in earthly possession; for it would be a plain proof to me, that i had not been acting as steward for god, and had not been yielding myself as a channel for the waters of god�s bounty to pass through. i also cannot but bear my testimony here, that in whatever feeble measure god has enabled me to act according to these truths for the last fifty-one years and a half, i have found it to be profitable, most profitable to my own soul; and as to temporal things, i never was a loser in doing so, but i have most abundantly found the truth in ii cor. ix. , and luke vi. , and prov. xi. , , verified in my own experience. i only have to regret that i have acted so little according to what i have now been stating; but my godly purpose is, by the help of god, to spend the remainder of my days in practising these truths more than ever, and i am sure, that, when i am brought to the close of my earthly pilgrimage, either in death, or by the appearing of our lord jesus, i shall not have the least regret in having done so; and i know that should i leave my dear child behind, the lord will abundantly provide for her, and prove that there has been a better provision made for her than her father could have made, if he had sought to insure his life or lay up money for her. before leaving this part of the subject, i mention to the believing reader, that i know instance upon instance, in which what i have been saying has been verified, but i will only mention the following:--i knew many years ago a brother as the manager of a large manufactory. whilst in this capacity he was liberal, and giving away considerably out of his rather considerable salary. the lord repaid this to him; for the principals of the establishment, well knowing his value to their house of business, gave him now and then whilst he thus was liberally using his means for the lord, very large presents in money. in process of time, however, this brother thought it right to begin business on his own account, in a very small way. he still continued to be liberal, according to his means, and god prospered him, and prospered him so, that now, whilst i am writing, his manufactory is as large as the one which he formerly managed, or even larger, though that was a very considerable one. and sure i am, that, if this brother shall be kept by god from setting his heart upon earthly things, and from seeking more and more to increase his earthly riches, but shall delight himself in being used as a steward by god, cheerfully communicating to the need of god�s poor children, or to his work in other ways, and doing so not sparingly, but bountifully, the lord will intrust him more and more with means; if otherwise, if he shut up his hands, seek his own, wish to obtain sufficient property that he may be able to live on his interest, then, what he has to expect is, that god will shut up his hands, he will meet with heavy losses, or there will be an alteration in his affairs for the worse, or the like.--i also mention two other cases, to show that the lord increases our ability of communicating temporal blessings to others, if we distribute according to the means with which he has intrusted us, though we should not be in a trade or business, or profession.--i know a brother who many years ago saw it right not only to spend his interest for the lord, but also the principal, as the lord might point out to him opportunities. his desire was not, as indeed it ought never to be, to get rid of his money as fast as possible, yet he considered himself a steward for the lord, and was therefore willing, as his lord and master might point it out to him, to spend his means. when this brother came to this determination, he possessed about twenty thousand pounds sterling. according to the light and grace, which the lord had been pleased to give he afterwards acted, spending the money for the lord, in larger or smaller sums, as opportunities were pointed out to him by the lord. thus the sum more and more decreased, whilst the brother steadily pursued his course, serving the lord with his property, and spending his time and ability also for the lord, in service of one kind or another among his children. at last the twenty thousand pounds were almost entirely spent, when at that very time the father of this brother died, whereby he came into the possession of an income of several thousand pounds a year. it gives joy to my heart to be able to add, that this brother still pursues his godly course, living in the most simple way, and giving away perhaps ten times as much as he spends on himself or family. here you see, dear reader, that this brother, using faithfully for the lord what he had been intrusted with at first, was made steward over more; for he has now more than one-third as much in a year coming in, as he at first possessed altogether.--i mention another instance: i know a brother to whom the lord has given a liberal heart, and who bountifully gave of that over which the lord had set him as steward. the lord seeing this, intrusted him with still more, for through family circumstances he came into the possession of many thousand pounds, in addition to the considerable property he possessed before. i have the joy of being able to add also concerning this brother, that the lord continues to give him grace to use his property as a steward for god, and that he has not been permitted to set his heart upon his riches, through the very considerable increase of his property, but that he continues to live as the steward of the lord, and not as the owner of all this wealth.--and now, dear reader, when the brethren to whom i have been referring are brought to the close of their earthly pilgrimage, will they have one moment�s regret that they have used their property for the lord? will it be the least particle of uneasiness to their minds, or will their children be the worse for it? oh no! the only regret they will have concerning this matter will be, that they did not serve the lord still more abundantly with their property. dear reader, let us each in our measure act in the same spirit. money is really worth no more than as it is used according to the mind of the lord; and life is worth no more than as it is spent in the service of the lord. whilst the three mentioned points-- , that our calling must be of that nature that we can abide in it with god; , that unto the lord we should labour in our calling, as his servants, because he has bought us with his blood, and because he will have us to labour; , that as stewards we should labour in our calling, because the earnings of our calling are the lord�s and not our own, as he has bought us with his blood: i say, whilst these three points are particularly to be attended to in order that the lord�s blessing may rest upon our calling, and we be prospering in it, there are, nevertheless, some other points to be attended to, which i mention in love to my brethren in the lord, by whom they may be needed. , the next point is, that a believer in the lord jesus should do nothing in his calling, which is purely for the sake of attracting the world, such as for instance, fitting up his shop or rooms of business in the most costly manner, i do not in the least mean to say that his shop or rooms of business should not be clean, orderly, and of such a character as that there may be no positive hinderance to persons going there. all the needful conveniences that are expected may be there and ought to be there. but if any child of god seek to have the front of his shop, or the interior of his shop, or of his place of business fitted up in a most expensive way, simply for the sake of attracting attention, then let him be aware, that, just in so far as he is trusting in these things, he is not likely to succeed in his calling, because he puts the manner of sitting up the shop in the room of trust in the lord. such things the lord may allow to succeed in the case of an unbeliever, but they will not prosper in the case of a child of god, except it be in the way of chastisement, just as the lord gave to israel in the wilderness the desire of their hearts, but sent leanness into their souls. should any brother have fallen into this error, the first thing he has to do, when the lord has instructed him concerning this point, is, to make confession of sin, and, as far as it can be done, to retrace his steps in this particular. if this cannot be done, then to cast himself upon the mercy of god in christ jesus. , of the same character is: to seek to attract the attention of the world, by "boasting advertisements," such as "no one manufactures so good an article," "no one sells this article so cheap," "we sell the best article in the city," etc. suppose these statements were quite correct, yet they are unbecoming for a child of god, who has the living god to care for him and to provide for him, and therefore needs not to make use of such boasting, whereby he may seek to ensure custom to himself and keep it from others. the law of love is, "whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them." matt. vii. . now what do i wish in this particular that others should do to me, but that they should not seek to keep away persons from dealing with me; but if i use such like expressions in my advertisements, as have been mentioned, what do they imply but, that i wish all people should come to me, and deal with me. if, however, already under the old covenant it was said, "thou shalt not covet," how much more sinful and altogether unbecoming is it for us children of god, who are in fellowship with the father and the son, to make use of such means, in order to ensure to ourselves pecuniary advantages. but, however much the lord may allow a man of the world to prosper in using such means, they are only hinderances to the child of god to getting on in his calling, because the lord sees that they are substituted instead of trust in himself; and should the lord for a season allow his child apparently to be benefited by them, it will only be for his chastisement and connected with leanness in his soul. therefore, my brethren in the lord, i beseech you to put away all these things out of your calling, lest you should be hindering instead of furthering your real welfare. , likewise of a similar character is the following point, which god may suffer to be a real hinderance to his children in their calling, it is, to seek the very best, (and therefore the most expensive) situations which can be had in a town or city. now i do by no means intend to say, that in our trade, business, art, or profession, we should seek the most obscure, retired, out of the way place possible, and say, "god will provide, and i need not mind in what part of the town i carry on my calling." there are most assuredly certain things to be considered. the persons who are likely to buy the articles i sell, or employ me, are to be considered, and i have not to say, it matters nothing to me, whether i make them come a mile or two to my house, or to the most dirty and disagreeable part of the town; this would be the extreme in the other way. but whilst there is a certain consideration to be used with reference to those who may employ us in our calling, yet if the trust of the child of god respecting temporal prosperity is in the fact that he lives in the best situation, the lord will surely disappoint him. he will have to pay a very high rent for the best situation, and yet not succeed, because his trust is in the best situation. he is substituting it for dependence upon the living god for customers. he is robbing his soul not only in not taking the customers as from the hands of the lord, but he is also obliging his heavenly father, in the very love of his heart, to cause him to be disappointed, because he is not trusting in him. if the child of god were saying and acting thus: the best situation would cost me l. a year more rent, than one which is not really inconvenient for my customers, nor in an improper neighbourhood, and the like, this l. i dedicate unto the lord, to be paid in instalments for his work, or his poor saints, whenever the rent day comes, such a brother would find himself to be no loser, if this indeed were done in dependence upon the lord, and constrained by the love of jesus. but if the l. more is paid for rent, and yet the living god, in the very love of his heart, should be obliged to withhold prosperity from his child in his calling, because he sees that he is laying undue stress upon the situation of the house, then not only the l. extra rent per year is lost, but also that which the lord is obliged to withhold from his child besides, in order to teach him the lesson; and thus year after year, by our own fault, we may have scarcely any thing to give for the work of god. , the next obstacle to prosperity in our calling which i now would mention is, that children of god often use such expressions as these with reference to their calling: "this is our busy time," or "this is our dead time," which implies that they do not day after day deal with god about their calling, but that they ascribe their having much or little to do to circumstances, or to times and seasons. that the people of the world should do so is not to be wondered at; but that the children of god should act thus, who in the most minute affairs of life should seek the help of god, and deal with god about them, is a matter of sorrow to the spiritual mind, and is altogether unbecoming saints. but what is the result. the lord, according to the expectations of his children, allows them to be without employment, because they say, "this is our dead season." "he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief," contains a truth which comes in here. but what is the right way of looking at the matter? it is this: the child of god should say, though generally about this time of the year there is little employment to be expected, looking at it naturally, yet as a want of employment is neither good for the outward nor inward man, and as i only desire employment to serve god in my business, to have to give to those who are in need, or help in other ways the work of god, i will now give myself to prayer for employment, for i can by prayer and faith, as a child of god, obtain blessings from my heavenly father, though not in the ordinary course of things. if thus the child of god were to say and to act, he would soon have employment in his calling, except the lord meant to use his time otherwise in his work, which he would point out to him. , a further reason, why god may be obliged to resist children of god in their business, may be this, that they with the greatest carefulness seek to obtain persons for their shop who are considered "good salesmen," i.e. persons who have such persuasive ways, as that they gain an advantage over the customers and induce them not only to buy articles for which they ask, whether suitable or not, but that they also induce them to buy articles which they did not at all intend to buy when they came to the shop. concerning this i notice in the first place, that if the child of god puts his dependence upon the "good salesmen," let him not be surprised if his heavenly father should be obliged to disappoint him, because he sees his child lean upon the arm of flesh, instead of trusting in the living god; and therefore the business does not succeed. further, it is altogether wrong for a child of god to induce the customers, by means of such men or women who have a persuasive tongue, to purchase articles whether they suit or not, and whether they are needed or not. this is no less than defrauding persons in a subtle way, or leading them into the sin of purchasing beyond their means, or at least spending their money needlessly. however such sinful tricks may be allowed to prosper in the case of a man of the world, in the case of a child of god they will not prosper, except god allow them to do so in the way of chastisement, whilst leanness and wretchedness is brought into the soul. i knew a case of this kind where it was the whole bent of the mind of a professed believer to obtain such "good salesmen," and where even a jew was kept outside the shop walking up and down to induce persons to come in and buy; and yet that same professed believer failed twice in his business. , another evil with reference to business, and why children of god do not get on in their calling is, that they enter upon business often without any capital at all, or with too little. if a believer has no capital at all, or only a very small capital, in comparison with what his business requires, then, ought he not to say this to himself: "if it were my heavenly father�s will that i should enter upon business on my own account, then would he not somehow or other have intrusted me with the needful means? and since he has not, is it not a plain indication that, for the present, i should remain a journeyman, (or shopman, or clerk, as the case may be)?" in a variety of ways the means might come. for instance, a legacy might be left to him, or money might be given to him by a brother in the lord for that very purpose, or a brother or sister might propose to the individual to lend him money, yet so that if he were unable to pay it again, they would not consider him their debtor, or in many other ways god might intrust him with means but if in some such way the lord did not remove the hinderance, and the brother would still go into business, he would, through the bill system and other things connected with the want of capital, not only bring great distress into his mind, and subject himself to the possibility of at last being unable to pay his creditors, whereby dishonour would be brought upon the name of the lord, but he likewise could not be surprised (as he went into business contrary to the will of god, since he pointed out to him that he was not to do so for want of means,) if he should find that he cannot get on, and that the blessing of god manifestly is wanting. in such a case as this, if it can be done, the retracing our steps is the best thing we can do; but often this cannot be done, as others are involved in the matter, and then we have to make acknowledgment of our sin, and seek god�s merciful help to bring us into a right position. , but suppose all these nine previous points were attended to, and we neglected to seek god�s blessing upon our calling, we need still not be surprised if we met with difficulty upon difficulty, and could not get on at all. it is not enough that we seek god�s help for that which manifestly is of a spiritual character; but we should seek his help and blessing by prayer and supplication for all our ordinary concerns in life, and if we neglect doing so, we shall surely suffer for the neglect. "trust in the lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." prov. iii. , . these few remarks i commend affectionately to the prayerful consideration of all brethren and sisters in the lord with reference to their calling; for though they are written by one who never was in business himself, yet the truths therein set forth have been learned by him in the school of god, and he has had them abundantly confirmed through his pastoral labours during the last fifty-one years. and now, farewell, beloved reader.--very many times have i sought the lord�s blessing before i began preparing this third part for the press, and very many times have i done so while writing it, and now i am most fully assured, that he will abundantly bless this part also, because of the abundance of supplication which he has wrought concerning it by his spirit in my soul. i ask you also, dear reader, if you know the power of prayer, to unite with me in seeking the lord�s blessing upon this book, and then we shall rejoice together in the answers to our prayers, if not here on earth, at least in the day of christ�s appearing. [in was published the fourth part of this narrative, as a second volume.] end of the third part . my journal gives the names of the individuals, whom the lord has used as instruments, in supplying our wants; but it has appeared well to me, for several reasons, not to mention them in print. . one bill i had to meet for a brother, the other was for money which in the form of a bill i had sent to the continent; but in both cases the money was in my hands, before the bills were given. . at the beginning the name was, the scriptural knowledge society for home and abroad;" but as the institution was never a society in the common sense of the word, there being nothing like membership, voting, a committee, &c., it appeared afterwards better to alter the name as above stated, for the sake of avoiding mistakes. i mention, moreover, that in this eighth edition the institution is spoken of in the way in which it is now existing, without further notice of the alterations which have been made since its establishment on march , , as its original character is substantially the same. . only two orphans were received under such circumstances. since we have had no child on such conditions, as we now consider, that, if a relative would be able and willing to pay the average expense for the support of a child, such an orphan could not be considered destitute. during the summer of , thee orphans were applied for, and their relatives offered to pay l. a year for these children to the funds of the institution. they were, however, not only not received, but their names were not even entered on the list of those who are waiting for admission, as they could not be considered destitute. our object is not to obtain funds for the institution, but to provide by means of it for truly destitute orphans hence, though l. is more than the average expense for three orphans in a year, we did not receive those three just referred to. . the schoolmasters, as well as the clergymen, in prussia, are connected with the state. . we continued for many months to break bread only at bethesda, till at last, though it is a large chapel, the body of it was no longer large enough to accommodate all who were in communion with us, so that we were obliged to have the lord�s supper in two places. [note to the second edition.] . since february, , i hare been obliged to discontinue my walks in the fields entirely, on account of a weakness in my right foot. . this little charity business was commenced in connexion with the church assembling at bethesda and salem chapels, bristol, for the purpose of seeking to provide employment for the poor believers, especially the poor sisters, when they were without work. . the evening before my departure, i had invited a number of believers to tea, to spend some time together in prayer, reading the holy scriptures, and in intercourse on spiritual subjects. . these were the expenses in and ; but, on account of the high price of almost everything now, in , the average expenses of one day are. l. or upwards, for the support of the orphans. . preaching tours and missionary labours of george müller (of bristol.) by mrs. mulller. . london: j. nisbet and co., berners street. price s. d. to be had also at the bible and tract warehouse; at the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, no. , park street; and through all book-sellers. . this third volume is still in print. published by w. mack, , park street, bristol. . the funeral sermon was afterwards preached and published, and is still in print. * * * * * +-----------------------------------------------------------+ | transcriber's note: | | | | obvious typographical errors have been corrected. for | | a complete list, please see the end of this document. | | | +-----------------------------------------------------------+ * * * * * lord, teach us to pray by rev. andrew murray philadelphia henry altemus copyright, , by henry altemus. lord, teach us to pray or the only teacher. the disciples had been with christ, and seen him pray. they had learnt to understand something of the connection between his wondrous life in public, and his secret life of prayer. they had learnt to believe in him as a master in the art of prayer--none could pray like him. and so they came to him with the request, 'lord, teach us to pray.' and in after years they would have told us that there were few things more wonderful or blessed that he taught them than his lessons on prayer. and now still it comes to pass, as he is praying in a certain place, that disciples who see him thus engaged feel the need of repeating the same request, 'lord, teach us to pray.' as we grow in the christian life, the thought and the faith of the beloved master in his never-failing intercession becomes evermore precious, and the hope of being _like christ_ in his intercession gains an attractiveness before unknown. and as we see him pray, and remember that there is none who can pray like him, and none who can teach like him, we feel the petition of the disciples, 'lord, teach us to pray,' is just what we need. and as we think how all he is and has, how he himself is our very own, how he is himself our life, we feel assured that we have but to ask, and he will be delighted to take us up into closer fellowship with himself, and teach us to pray even as he prays. come, my brothers! shall we not go to the blessed master and ask him to enrol our names too anew in that school which he always keeps open for those who long to continue their studies in the divine art of prayer and intercession? yes, let us this very day say to the master, as they did of old, 'lord, teach us to pray.' as we meditate we shall find each word of the petition we bring to be full of meaning. 'lord, teach us _to pray_.' yes, _to pray_. this is what we need to be taught. though in its beginnings prayer is so simple that the feeble child can pray, yet it is at the same time the highest and holiest work to which man can rise. it is fellowship with the unseen and most holy one. the powers of the eternal world have been placed at its disposal. it is the very essence of true religion, the channel of all blessings, the secret of power and life. not only for ourselves, but for others, for the church, for the world, it is to prayer that god has given the right to take hold of him and his strength. it is on prayer that the promises wait for their fulfilment, the kingdom for its coming, the glory of god for its full revelation. and for this blessed work, how slothful and unfit we are. it is only the spirit of god can enable us to do it aright. how speedily we are deceived into a resting in the form, while the power is wanting. our early training, the teaching of the church, the influence of habit, the stirring of the emotions--how easily these lead to prayer which has no spiritual power, and avails but little. true prayer, that takes hold of god's strength, that availeth much, to which the gates of heaven are really opened wide--who would not cry, oh for some one to teach me thus to pray? jesus has opened a school, in which he trains his redeemed ones, who specially desire it, to have power in prayer. shall we not enter it with the petition, lord! it is just this we need to be taught! o teach us to _pray_. 'lord, teach _us_ to pray.' yes, _us_, lord. we have read in thy word with what power thy believing people of old used to pray, and what mighty wonders were done in answer to their prayers. and if this took place under the old covenant, in the time of preparation, how much more wilt thou not now, in these days of fulfilment, give thy people this sure sign of thy presence in their midst. we have heard the promises given to thine apostles of the power of prayer in thy name, and have seen how gloriously they experienced their truth: we know for certain, they can become true to us too. we hear continually even in these days what glorious tokens of thy power thou dost still give to those who trust thee fully. lord! these all are men of like passions with ourselves; teach _us_ to pray so too. the promises are for us, the powers and gifts of the heavenly world are for us. o teach _us_ to pray so that we may receive abundantly. to us too thou hast entrusted thy work, on our prayer too the coming of thy kingdom depends, in our prayer too thou canst glorify thy name; 'lord, teach us to pray.' yes, us, lord; we offer ourselves as learners; we would indeed be taught of thee. 'lord, teach _us_ to pray.' 'lord, _teach_ us to pray.' yes, we feel the need now of being _taught_ to pray. at first there is no work appears so simple; later on, none that is more difficult; and the confession is forced from us: we know not how to pray as we ought. it is true we have god's word, with its clear and sure promises; but sin has so darkened our mind, that we know not always how to apply the word. in spiritual things we do not always seek the most needful things, or fail in praying according to the law of the sanctuary. in temporal things we are still less able to avail ourselves of the wonderful liberty our father has given us to ask what we need. and even when we know what to ask, how much there is still needed to make prayer acceptable. it must be to the glory of god, in full surrender to his will, in full assurance of faith, in the name of jesus, and with a perseverance that, if need be, refuses to be denied. all this must be learned. it can only be learned in the school of much prayer, for practice makes perfect. amid the painful consciousness of ignorance and unworthiness, in the struggle between believing and doubting, the heavenly art of effectual prayer is learnt. because, even when we do not remember it, there is one, the beginner and finisher of faith and prayer, who watches over our praying, and sees to it that _in all who trust him for it_ their education in the school of prayer shall be carried on to perfection. let but the deep undertone of all our prayer be the teachableness that comes from a sense of ignorance, and from faith in him as a perfect teacher, and we may be sure we shall be taught, we shall learn to pray in power. yes, we may depend upon it, he _teaches_ to pray. '_lord_, teach us to pray.' none can teach like jesus, none but jesus; therefore we call on him, 'lord, teach us to pray.' a pupil needs a teacher, who knows his work, who has the gift of teaching, who in patience and love will descend to the pupil's needs. blessed be god! jesus is all this and much more. he knows what prayer is. it is jesus, praying himself, who teaches to pray. he knows what prayer is. he learned it amid the trials and tears of his earthly life. in heaven it is still his beloved work: his life there is prayer. nothing delights him more than to find those whom he can take with him into the father's presence, whom he can clothe with power to pray down god's blessing on those around them, whom he can train to be his fellow-workers in the intercession by which the kingdom is to be revealed on earth. he knows how to teach. now by the urgency of felt need, then by the confidence with which joy inspires. here by the teaching of the word, there by the testimony of another believer who knows what it is to have prayer heard. by his holy spirit, he has access to our heart, and teaches us to pray by showing us the sin that hinders the prayer, or giving us the assurance that we please god. he teaches, by giving not only thoughts of what to ask or how to ask, but by breathing within us the very spirit of prayer, by living within us as the great intercessor. we may indeed and most joyfully say, 'who teacheth like him?' jesus never taught his disciples how to preach, only how to pray. he did not speak much of what was needed to preach well, but much of praying well. to know how to speak to god is more than knowing how to speak to man. not power with men, but power with god is the first thing. jesus loves to teach us how to pray. what think you, my beloved fellow-disciples! would it not be just what we need, to ask the master for a month to give us a course of special lessons on the art of prayer? as we meditate on the words he spake on earth, let us yield ourselves to his teaching in the fullest confidence that, with such a teacher, we shall make progress. let us take time not only to meditate, but to pray, to tarry at the foot of the throne, and be trained to the work of intercession. let us do so in the assurance that amidst our stammerings and fears he is carrying on his work most beautifully. he will breathe his own life, which is all prayer, into us. as he makes us partakers of his righteousness and his life, he will of his intercession too. as the members of his body, as a holy priesthood, we shall take part in his priestly work of pleading and prevailing with god for men. yes, let us most joyfully say, ignorant and feeble though we be, 'lord, teach us to pray.' 'lord, teach us to pray.' * * * * * blessed lord! who ever livest to pray, thou canst teach me too to pray, me to live ever to pray. in this thou lovest to make me share thy glory in heaven, that i should pray without ceasing, and ever stand as a priest in the presence of my god. lord jesus! i ask thee this day to enrol my name among those who confess that they know not how to pray as they ought, and especially ask thee for a course of teaching in prayer. lord! teach me to tarry with thee in the school, and give thee time to train me. may a deep sense of my ignorance, of the wonderful privilege and power of prayer, of the need of the holy spirit as the spirit of prayer, lead me to cast away my thoughts of what i think i know, and make me kneel before thee in true teachableness and poverty of spirit. and fill me, lord, with the confidence that with such a teacher as thou art i shall learn to pray. in the assurance that i have as my teacher, jesus, who is ever praying to the father, and by his prayer rules the destinies of his church and the world, i will not be afraid. as much as i need to know of the mysteries of the prayer-world, thou wilt unfold for me. and when i may not know, thou wilt teach me to be strong in faith, giving glory to god. blessed lord! thou wilt not put to shame thy scholar who trusts thee, nor, by thy grace, would he thee either. amen. 'in spirit and truth;' or the true worshippers. 'the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the father in spirit and truth: for such doth the father seek to be his worshippers. god is a spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and truth.'--john iv. , . these words of jesus to the woman of samaria are his first recorded teaching on the subject of prayer. they give us some wonderful first glimpses into the world of prayer. the father _seeks_ worshippers: our worship satisfies his loving heart and is a joy to him. he seeks _true worshippers_, but finds many not such as he would have them. true worship is that which is _in spirit and truth_. _the son has come_ to open the way for this worship in spirit and in truth, and teach it us. and so one of our first lessons in the school of prayer must be to understand what it is to pray in spirit and in truth, and to know how we can attain to it. to the woman of samaria our lord spoke of a threefold worship. there is, first, the ignorant worship of the samaritans: 'ye worship that which ye know not.' the second, the intelligent worship of the jew, having the true knowledge of god: 'we worship that which we know; for salvation is of the jews.' and then the new, the spiritual worship which he himself has come to introduce: 'the hour is coming, and is now, when the true worshippers shall worship the father in spirit and truth.' from the connection it is evident that the words 'in spirit and truth' do not mean, as is often thought, earnestly, from the heart, in sincerity. the samaritans had the five books of moses and some knowledge of god; there was doubtless more than one among them who honestly and earnestly sought god in prayer. the jews had the true full revelation of god in his word, as thus far given; there were among them godly men, who called upon god with their whole heart. and yet not 'in spirit and truth,' in the full meaning of the words. jesus says, '_the hour is coming, and now is_:' it is only in and through him that the worship of god will be in spirit and truth. among christians one still finds the three classes of worshippers. some who in their ignorance hardly know what they ask: they pray earnestly, and yet receive but little. others there are, who have more correct knowledge, who try to pray with all their mind and heart, and often pray most earnestly, and yet do not attain to the full blessedness of worship in spirit and truth. it is into this third class we must ask our lord jesus to take us; we must be taught of him how to worship in spirit and truth. this alone is spiritual worship; this makes us worshippers such as the father seeks. in prayer everything will depend on our understanding well and practising the worship in spirit and truth. 'god is _a spirit_ and they that worship him must worship him _in spirit_ and truth.' the first thought suggested here by the master is that there must be harmony between god and his worshippers; such as god is, must his worship be. this is according to a principle which prevails throughout the universe: we look for correspondence between an object and the organ to which it reveals or yields itself. the eye has an inner fitness for the light, the ear for sound. the man who would truly worship god, would find and know and possess and enjoy god, must be in harmony with him, must have a capacity for receiving him. because god _is spirit_, we must worship _in spirit_. as god is, so his worshipper. and what does this mean? the woman had asked our lord whether samaria or jerusalem was the true place of worship. he answers that henceforth worship is no longer to be limited to a certain place: 'woman, believe me, _the hour cometh_ when neither in this mountain, nor in jerusalem, shall ye worship the father.' as god is spirit, not bound by space or time, but in his infinite perfection always and everywhere the same, so his worship would henceforth no longer be confined by place or form, but spiritual as god himself is spiritual. a lesson of deep importance. how much our christianity suffers from this, that it is confined to certain times and places. a man who seeks to pray earnestly in the church or in the closet, spends the greater part of the week or the day in a spirit entirely at variance with that in which he prayed. his worship was the work of a fixed place or hour, not of his whole being. god is a spirit: he is the everlasting and unchangeable one; what he is, he is always and in truth. our worship must even so be in spirit and truth: his worship must be the spirit of our life; our life must be worship in spirit as god is spirit. 'god is a spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and truth.' the second thought that comes to us is that this worship in the spirit must come from god himself. god is spirit: he alone has spirit to give. it was for this he sent his son, to fit us for such spiritual worship, by giving us the holy spirit. it is of his own work that jesus speaks when he says twice, 'the hour cometh,' and then adds, 'and is now.' he came to baptize with the holy spirit; the spirit could not stream forth till he was glorified (_john i. , vii. , , xvi. _). it was when he had made an end of sin, and entering into the holiest of all with his blood, had there on our behalf _received_ the holy spirit (_acts ii. _), that he could send him down to us as the spirit of the father. it was when christ had redeemed us, and we in him had received the position of children, that the father sent forth the spirit of his son into our hearts to cry, 'abba, father.' the worship in spirit is the worship of the father in the spirit of christ, the spirit of sonship. this is the reason why jesus here uses the name of father. we never find one of the old testament saints personally appropriate the name of child or call god his father. the worship _of the father_ is only possible to those to whom the spirit of the son has been given. the worship _in spirit_ is only possible to those to whom the son has revealed the father, and who have received the spirit of sonship. it is only christ who opens the way and teaches the worship in spirit. and _in truth_. that does not only mean, _in sincerity_. nor does it only signify, in accordance with the truth of god's word. the expression is one of deep and divine meaning. jesus is 'the only-begotten of the father, _full of_ grace and _truth_.' 'the law was given by moses; grace and _truth came_ by jesus christ.' jesus says, '_i am the truth_ and the life.' in the old testament all was shadow and promise; jesus brought and gives the reality, _the substance_, of things hoped for. in him the blessings and powers of the eternal life are our actual possession and experience. jesus is full of grace and truth; the holy spirit is the spirit of truth; through him the grace that is in jesus is ours indeed, and truth a positive communication out of the divine life. and so worship in spirit is worship _in truth_; actual living fellowship with god, a real correspondence and harmony between the father, who is a spirit, and the child praying in the spirit. what jesus said to the woman of samaria, she could not at once understand. pentecost was needed to reveal its full meaning. we are hardly prepared at our first entrance into the school of prayer to grasp such teaching. we shall understand it better later on. let us only begin and take the lesson as he gives it. we are carnal and cannot bring god the worship he seeks. but jesus came to give the spirit: he has given him to us. let the disposition in which we set ourselves to pray be what christ's words have taught us. let there be the deep confession of our inability to bring god the worship that is pleasing to him; the childlike teachableness that waits on him to instruct us; the simple faith that yields itself to the breathing of the spirit. above all, let us hold fast the blessed truth--we shall find that the lord has more to say to us about it--that the knowledge of the fatherhood of god, the revelation of his infinite fatherliness in our hearts, the faith in the infinite love that gives us his son and his spirit to make us children, is indeed the secret of prayer in spirit and truth. this is the new and living way christ opened up for us. to have christ the son, and _the spirit of the son_, dwelling within us, and revealing the father, this makes us true, spiritual worshippers. 'lord, teach us to pray.' * * * * * blessed lord! i adore the love with which thou didst teach a woman, who had refused thee a cup of water, what the worship of god must be. i rejoice in the assurance that thou wilt no less now instruct thy disciple, who comes to thee with a heart that longs to pray in spirit and in truth. o my holy master! do teach me this blessed secret. teach me that the worship in spirit and truth is not of man, but only comes from thee; that it is not only a thing of times and seasons, but the outflowing of a life in thee. teach me to draw near to god in prayer under the deep impression of my ignorance and my having nothing in myself to offer him, and at the same time of the provision thou, my saviour, makest for the spirit's breathing in my childlike stammerings. i do bless thee that in thee i am a child, and have a child's liberty of access; that in thee i have the spirit of sonship and of worship of truth. teach me, above all, blessed son of the father, how it is the revelation of the father that gives confidence in prayer; and let the infinite fatherliness of god's heart be my joy and strength for a life of prayer and of worship. amen. pray to thy father which is in secret or alone with god. 'but thou, when thou prayest, enter into thine inner chamber, and having shut thy door, pray to thy father which is in secret, and thy father which seeth in secret shall recompense thee.'--matt. vi. . after jesus had called his first disciples he gave them their first public teaching in the sermon on the mount. he there expounded to them the kingdom of god, its laws and its life. in that kingdom god is not only king, but father; he not only gives all, but is himself all. in the knowledge and fellowship of him alone is its blessedness. hence it came as a matter of course that the revelation of prayer and the prayer-life was a part of his teaching concerning the new kingdom he came to set up. moses gave neither command nor regulation with regard to prayer: even the prophets say little directly of the duty of prayer; it is christ who teaches to pray. and the first thing the lord teaches his disciples is that they must have a secret place for prayer; every one must have some solitary spot where he can be alone with his god. every teacher must have a schoolroom. we have learnt to know and accept jesus as our only teacher in the school of prayer. he has already taught us at samaria that worship is no longer confined to times and places; that worship, spiritual true worship, is a thing of the spirit and the life; the whole man must in his whole life be worship in spirit and truth. and yet he wants each one to choose for himself the fixed spot where he can daily meet him. that inner chamber, that solitary place, is jesus' schoolroom. that spot may be anywhere; that spot may change from day to day if we have to change our abode; but that secret place there must be, with the quiet time in which the pupil places himself in the master's presence, to be by him prepared to worship the father. there alone, but there most surely, jesus comes to us to teach us to pray. a teacher is always anxious that his schoolroom should be bright and attractive, filled with the light and air of heaven, a place where pupils long to come, and love to stay. in his first words on prayer in the sermon on the mount, jesus seeks to set the inner chamber before us in its most attractive light. if we listen carefully, we soon notice what the chief thing is he has to tell us of our tarrying there. three times he uses the name of father: 'pray to _thy father_;' '_thy father_ shall recompense thee;' _your father_ knoweth what things ye have need of.' the first thing in closet-prayer is: i must meet my father. the light that shines in the closet must be: the light of the father's countenance. the fresh air from heaven with which jesus would have filled the atmosphere in which i am to breathe and pray, is: god's father-love, god's infinite fatherliness. thus each thought or petition we breathe out will be simple, hearty, childlike trust in the father. this is how the master teaches us to pray: he brings us into the father's living presence. what we pray there must avail. let us listen carefully to hear what the lord has to say to us. first, '_pray to thy father which is in secret_.' god is a god who hides himself to the carnal eye. as long as in our worship of god we are chiefly occupied with our own thoughts and exercises, we shall not meet him who is a spirit, the unseen one. but to the man who withdraws himself from all that is of the world and man, and prepares to wait upon god alone, the father will reveal himself. as he forsakes and gives up and shuts out the world, and the life of the world, and surrenders himself to be led of christ into the secret of god's presence, the light of the father's love will rise upon him. the secrecy of the inner chamber and the closed door, the entire separation from all around us, is an image of, and so a help to, that inner spiritual sanctuary, the secret of god's tabernacle, within the veil, where our spirit truly comes into contact with the invisible one. and so we are taught, at the very outset of our search after the secret of effectual prayer, to remember that it is in the inner chamber, where we are alone with the father, that we shall learn to pray aright. the father is in secret: in these words jesus teaches us where he is waiting us, where he is always to be found. christians often complain that private prayer is not what it should be. they feel weak and sinful, the heart is cold and dark; it is as if they have so little to pray, and in that little no faith or joy. they are discouraged and kept from prayer by the thought that they cannot come to the father as they ought or as they wish. child of god! listen to your teacher. he tells you that when you go to private prayer your first thought must be: the father is in secret, the father waits me there. just because your heart is cold and prayerless, get you into the presence of the loving father. as a father pitieth his children, so the lord pitieth you. do not be thinking of how little you have to bring god, but of how much he wants to give you. just place yourself before, and look up into, his face; think of his love, his wonderful, tender, pitying love. just tell him how sinful and cold and dark all is: it is the father's loving heart will give light and warmth to yours. o do what jesus says: just shut the door, and pray to thy father, which is in secret. is it not wonderful? to be able to go alone with god, the infinite god. and then to look up and say: my father! '_and thy father, which seeth in secret, will recompense thee._' here jesus assures us that secret prayer cannot be fruitless: its blessing will show itself in our life. we have but in secret, alone with god, to entrust our life before men to him; he will reward us openly; he will see to it that the answer to prayer be made manifest in his blessing upon us. our lord would thus teach us that as infinite fatherliness and faithfulness is that with which god meets us in secret, so on our part there should be the childlike simplicity of faith, the confidence that our prayer does bring down a blessing. 'he that cometh to god must believe that _he is a rewarder_ of them that seek him.' not on the strong or the fervent feeling with which i pray does the blessing of the closet depend, but upon the love and the power of the father to whom i there entrust my needs. and therefore the master has but one desire: remember your father is, and sees and hears in secret; go there and stay there, and go again from there in the confidence: he will recompense. trust him for it; depend upon him: prayer to the father cannot be vain; he will reward you openly. still further to confirm this faith in the father-love of god, christ speaks a third word: '_your father knoweth what things ye have need of before ye ask him._' at first sight it might appear as if this thought made prayer less needful: god knows far better than we what we need. but as we get a deeper insight into what prayer really is, this truth will help much to strengthen our faith. it will teach us that we do not need, as the heathen, with the multitude and urgency of our words, to compel an unwilling god to listen to us. it will lead to a holy thoughtfulness and silence in prayer as it suggests the question: does my father really know that i need this? it will, when once we have been led by the spirit to the certainty that our request is indeed something that, according to the word, we do need for god's glory, give us wonderful confidence to say, my father knows i need it and must have it. and if there be any delay in the answer, it will teach us in quiet perseverance to hold on: father! thou knowest i need it. o the blessed liberty and simplicity of a child that christ our teacher would fain cultivate in us, as we draw near to god: let us look up to the father until his spirit works it in us. let us sometimes in our prayers, when we are in danger of being so occupied with our fervent, urgent petitions, as to forget that the father knows and hears, let us hold still and just quietly say: my father sees, my father hears, my father knows; it will help our faith to take the answer, and to say: we know that we have the petitions we have asked of him. and now, all ye who have anew entered the school of christ to be taught to pray, take these lessons, practise them, and trust him to perfect you in them. dwell much in the inner chamber, with the door shut--shut in from men, shut up with god; it is there the father waits you, it is there jesus will teach you to pray. to be alone in secret with the father: this be your highest joy. to be assured that the father will openly reward the secret prayer, so that it cannot remain unblessed: this be your strength day by day. and to know that the father knows that you need what you ask, this be your liberty to bring every need, in the assurance that your god will supply it according to his riches in glory in christ jesus. 'lord, teach us to pray.' * * * * * blessed saviour! with my whole heart i do bless thee for the appointment of the inner chamber, as the school where thou meetest each of thy pupils alone, and revealest to him the father. o my lord! strengthen my faith so in the father's tender love and kindness, that as often as i feel sinful or troubled, the first instinctive thought may be to go where i know the father waits me, and where prayer never can go unblessed. let the thought that he knows my need before i ask, bring me, in great restfulness of faith, to trust that he will give what his child requires. o let the place of secret prayer become to me the most beloved spot on earth. and, lord! hear me as i pray that thou wouldest everywhere bless the closets of thy believing people. let thy wonderful revelation of a father's tenderness free all young christians from every thought of secret prayer as a duty or a burden, and lead them to regard it as the highest privilege of their life, a joy and a blessing. bring back all who are discouraged, because they cannot find aught to bring thee in prayer. o give them to understand that they have only to come with their emptiness to him who has all to give, and delights to do it. not, what they have to bring the father, but what the father waits to give them, be their one thought. and bless especially the inner chamber of all thy servants who are working for thee, as the place where god's truth and god's grace is revealed to them, where they are daily anointed with fresh oil, where their strength is renewed, and the blessings are received in faith, with which they are to bless their fellow-men. lord, draw us all in the closet nearer to thyself and the father. amen. 'after this manner pray;' or the model prayer. 'after this manner therefore pray ye: our father which art in heaven.'--matt. vi. . every teacher knows the power of example. he not only tells the child what to do and how to do it, but shows him how it really can be done. in condescension to our weakness, our heavenly teacher has given us the very words we are to take with us as we draw near to our father. we have in them a form of prayer in which there breathe the freshness and fulness of the eternal life. so simple that the child can lisp it, so divinely rich that it comprehends all that god can give. a form of prayer that becomes the model and inspiration for all other prayer, and yet always draws us back to itself as the deepest utterance of our souls before our god. '_our father which art in heaven!_' to appreciate this word of adoration aright, i must remember that none of the saints had in scripture ever ventured to address god as their father. the invocation places us at once in the centre of the wonderful revelation the son came to make of his father as our father too. it comprehends the mystery of redemption--christ delivering us from the curse that we might become the children of god. the mystery of regeneration--the spirit in the new birth giving us the new life. and the mystery of faith--ere yet the redemption is accomplished or understood, the word is given on the lips of the disciples to prepare them for the blessed experience still to come. the words are the key to the whole prayer, to all prayer. it takes time, it takes life to study them; it will take eternity to understand them fully. the knowledge of god's father-love is the first and simplest, but also the last and highest lesson in the school of prayer. it is in the personal relation to the living god, and the personal conscious fellowship of love with himself, that prayer begins. it is in the knowledge of god's fatherliness, revealed by the holy spirit, that the power of prayer will be found to root and grow. in the infinite tenderness and pity and patience of the infinite father, in his loving readiness to hear and to help, the life of prayer has its joy. o let us take time, until the spirit has made these words to us spirit and truth, filling heart and life: 'our father which art in heaven.' then we are indeed within the veil, in the secret place of power where prayer always prevails. '_hallowed be thy name._' there is something here that strikes us at once. while we ordinarily first bring our own needs to god in prayer, and then think of what belongs to god and his interests, the master reverses the order. first, _thy_ name, _thy_ kingdom, _thy_ will; then, give _us_, forgive _us_, lead _us_, deliver _us_. the lesson is of more importance than we think. in true worship the father must be first, must be all. the sooner i learn to forget myself in the desire that he may be glorified, the richer will the blessing be that prayer will bring to myself. no one ever loses by what he sacrifices for the father. this must influence all our prayer. there are two sorts of prayer: personal and intercessory. the latter ordinarily occupies the lesser part of our time and energy. this may not be. christ has opened the school of prayer specially to train intercessors for the great work of bringing down, by their faith and prayer, the blessings of his work and love on the world around. there can be no deep growth in prayer unless this be made our aim. the little child may ask of the father only what it needs for itself; and yet it soon learns to say, give some for sister too. but the grown-up son, who only lives for the father's interest and takes charge of the father's business, asks more largely, and gets all that is asked. and jesus would train us to the blessed life of consecration and service, in which our interests are all subordinate to the name, and the kingdom, and the will of the father. o let us live for this, and let, on each act of adoration, our father! there follow in the same breath, _thy_ name, _thy_ kingdom, _thy_ will;--for this we look up and long. '_hallowed be thy name._.' what name? this new name of father. the word _holy_ is the central word of the old testament; the _name_ father of the new. in this name of love all the holiness and glory of god are now to be revealed. and how is the name to be hallowed? by god himself: '_i will hallow_ my great name which ye have profaned.' our prayer must be that in ourselves, in all god's children, in presence of the world, god himself would reveal the holiness, the divine power, the hidden glory of the name of father. the spirit of the father is the _holy_ spirit: it is only when we yield ourselves to be led _of him_, that the name will be _hallowed_ in our prayer and our lives. let us learn the prayer: 'our father, hallowed be thy name.' '_thy kingdom come._' the father is a king and has a kingdom. the son and heir of a king has no higher ambition than the glory of his father's kingdom. in time of war or danger this becomes his passion; he can think of nothing else. the children of the father are here in the enemy's territory, where the kingdom, which is in heaven, is not yet fully manifested. what more natural than that, when they learn to hallow the father-name, they should long and cry with deep enthusiasm: 'thy kingdom come.' the coming of the kingdom is the one great event on which the revelation of the father's glory, the blessedness of his children, the salvation of the world depends. on our prayers too the coming of the kingdom waits. shall we not join in the deep longing cry of the redeemed: 'thy kingdom come'? let us learn it in the school of jesus. '_thy will be done, as in heaven, so on earth._' this petition is too frequently applied alone to the _suffering_ of the will of god. in heaven god's will is _done_, and the master teaches the child to ask that the will may be done on earth just as in heaven: in the spirit of adoring submission and ready obedience. because the will of god is the glory of heaven, the doing of it is the blessedness of heaven. as the will is done, the kingdom of heaven comes into the heart. and wherever faith has accepted the father's love, obedience accepts the father's will. the surrender to, and the prayer for a life of heaven-like obedience, is the spirit of childlike prayer. '_give us this day our daily bread._' when first the child has yielded himself to the father in the care for his name, his kingdom, and his will, he has full liberty to ask for his daily bread. a master cares for the food of his servant, a general of his soldiers, a father of his child. and will not the father in heaven care for the child who has in prayer given himself up to his interests? we may indeed in full confidence say: father, i live for thy honor and thy work; i know thou carest for me. consecration to god and his will gives wonderful liberty in prayer for temporal things: the whole earthly life is given to the father's loving care. '_and forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors._' as bread is the first need of the body, so forgiveness for the soul. and the provision for the one is as sure as for the other. we are children, but sinners too; our right of access to the father's presence we owe to the precious blood and the forgiveness it has won for us. let us beware of the prayer for forgiveness becoming a formality: only what is really confessed is really forgiven. let us in faith accept the forgiveness as promised: as a spiritual reality, an actual transaction between god and us, it is the entrance into all the father's love and all the privileges of children. such forgiveness, as a living experience, is impossible without a forgiving spirit to others: as _forgiven_ expresses the heavenward, so _forgiving_ the earthward, relation of god's child. in each prayer to the father i must be able to say that i know of no one whom i do not heartily love. '_and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one._' our daily bread, the pardon of our sins, and then our being kept from all sin and the power of the evil one, in these three petitions all our personal need is comprehended. the prayer for bread and pardon must be accompanied by the surrender to live in all things in holy obedience to the father's will, and the believing prayer in everything to be kept by the power of the indwelling spirit from the power of the evil one. children of god! it is thus jesus would have us to pray to the father in heaven. o let his name, and kingdom, and will, have the first place in our love; his providing, and pardoning, and keeping love will be our sure portion. so the prayer will lead us up to the true child-life: the father all to the child, the father all for the child. we shall understand how father and child, the _thine_ and the _our_, are all one, and how the heart that begins its prayer with the god-devoted thine, will have the power in faith to speak out the our too. such prayer will, indeed, be the fellowship and interchange of love, always bringing us back in trust and worship to him who is not only the beginning but the end: 'for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever, amen.' son of the father, teach us to pray, 'our father.' 'lord, teach us to pray.' * * * * * o thou who art the only-begotten son, teach us, we beseech thee, to pray, 'our father.' we thank thee, lord, for these living blessed words which thou hast given us. we thank thee for the millions who in them have learnt to know and worship the father, and for what they have been to us. lord! it is as if we needed days and weeks in thy school with each separate petition; so deep and full are they. but we look to thee to lead us deeper into their meaning: do it, we pray thee, for thy name's sake; thy name is son of the father. lord! thou didst once say: 'no man knoweth the father save the son, and he to whom the son willeth to reveal him.' and again: 'i made known unto them thy name, and will make it known, that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them.' lord jesus! reveal to us the father. let his name, his infinite father-love, the love with which he loved thee, according to thy prayer, be in us. then shall we say aright, 'our father!' then shall we apprehend thy teaching, and the first spontaneous breathing of our heart will be: 'our father, thy name, thy kingdom, thy will.' and we shall bring our needs and our sins and our temptations to him in the confidence that the love of such a father cares for all. blessed lord! we are thy scholars, we trust thee; do teach us to pray, 'our father.' amen. * * * * * +-----------------------------------------------------------+ | typographical errors corrected in text: | | | | page : undertand replaced with understand | | | +-----------------------------------------------------------+ * * * * * praying for money spiritual telepathy day of pentecost axioms praying for money unanswered prayers prayer for others forms of prayer _by_ russell h. conwell volume national extension university fifth avenue, new york effective prayer copyright, , by harper & brothers printed in the united states of america chapter i spiritual telepathy it would be no more surprising for the discovery of a means of direct spirit communication with the spiritual life than it was to be convinced that marconi had discovered a sure method of telegraphing and telephoning without wires. the discovery of the laws which made electricity a servant of mankind was an astonishing revelation which was as unbelievable as is the law of spiritual telepathy. human telepathy, which is a mysterious means of communication between persons without the use of known material agency, is in the initial and experimental stage. but the possibility of such thought transference is generally admitted. the psychical researchers into that science should be encouraged in every way. on the eve of every such advance in human achievement there always appear a host of superstitious dreamers and wild prophets, even in the study of science, who hinder the sane searcher and often becloud the mind of the student who is on the direct road to the needed discovery. spiritualism, which is here used as a comprehensive term, frequently confuses the deliberations of honest truth-seekers with the advertised works of deceivers, but it includes much in its curriculum that is worth careful study. among the host of disordered or weak minds who claim so much that is foolish in connection with spiritual revelations there are a respectable number of thoughtful, conservative searchers who cannot be easily deceived. in all the successful "isms" in a christian civilization, and in all the popular religious sects, there is ever some basic truth. some one idea is so true and so strongly emphasized that it often carries along a back-breaking load of absurd theories. the thoughtless throng hears of several well-authenticated cases of fraud, or of absurd teaching, in connection with spiritual meetings, or messages, and leaps to the conviction that all claims of so-called spiritualists are not worthy of consideration. so many thousands have tried so sincerely to recall their dead without the least sign of an answer that they refuse to examine the testimony of great men, like sir oliver lodge, whose belief differs from their belief. they will not read what great minds have expressed on the subject. but the great discoveries recently made in materialistic sciences have led thoughtful men to hope for great discoveries in the relation of this existence to another life. this expectation, or strong hope, made the study of the spiritual revelations and conditions at the temple a most thrilling occupation. the reports of the answers to prayer so often use the words "happened to think" that the observer cannot escape the conviction that either the living human mind does send spirit messages or that some mysterious power acts for it in forwarding messages. the great list of mysterious impulses and intuitions which were noticed in those interesting seasons of prayer could not have been all accidental nor could they be classed under the natural laws of cause and effect. the connection between the cause as seen in the prayer and the effect as related in the "happened-to-think" result is often wholly hidden. a mother in philadelphia prayed for her prodigal son and at that exact time the son, alone in a chicago hotel, felt an uncontrollable influence to turn back to his home. a father prayed that his son might decide to be a missionary, and the son, a sailor off the coast of south america, at that same moment made the decision. a wife prayed that her husband might be sent home sober. at the time she was kneeling by the kitchen table he was waiting at the saloon to be served with brandy, but he "happened to think" that his mother had prayed for him on her deathbed and he could not take the liquor. a doctor, sadly defeated in his fight for the life of his patient, went to his bedroom and prayed for light, and he "happened to think" that the patient might have swallowed some piece of metal. there was no report of the like symptoms in any case he could find in the medical books. but so deep was the impression that he secured a powerful magnet and drew forth the death-dealing needle. a merchant had an offer for his entire stock which seemed favorable, and, as he was in need, the offer seemed providential. but while the suggestion from the pulpit that each worshiper pray for success in his occupation was being adopted he prayed for his business. at that hour his son in denver was also praying in church. when he there thought of his father he decided fully to go home and enter business with him. so completely did he decide that the next morning he telegraphed to his surprised and delighted father that he would come home if his father needed his assistance. the joy of having his son at home again overcame his determination to complete a favorable bargain, and he declined the offer promptly. before the son reached philadelphia a sudden change in the paper market doubled the sale value of the father's stock. one writer for a daily newspaper was meditating on some object of prayer in the silence of the praying congregation when the idea of a textbook on journalism for college use came to his mind for the first time. it led directly to a series of syndicate articles which enabled him to purchase the home for which he had been praying. a mechanic who had been out of work, owing to a fire, prayed for a job. at the same time a builder who was a stranger in the church was praying for a competent partner. when the prayers were finished they "happened" to look at each other across the church and each wondered why the other looked at him so intently. the pews in which they sat were at right angles and it was a natural thing for the occupant of one pew to glance at the inmate of the other pew. after church each approached the other with the simultaneous expression, "it seems to me that we have met before." but that was their first meeting. their firm is now engaged in large construction work in concrete houses and factories. a servant girl in a small home prayed for a dress suitable for church and at that hour her mistress was visiting a friend who remarked that the photograph of a deceased daughter greatly resembled the visitor's servant girl. a few minutes later the friend of the mistress said: "i wonder if my daughter's dresses would fit your servant? if they will fit her, there are here two new gowns that the dressmaker sent home after my daughter's death." so a young man, without advanced education, prayed hard for an opportunity to get mental training to fit him for the ministry. at the same moment a principal of a new jersey academy was in the gallery far removed from the young man and he prayed for direction in finding a suitable janitor. the academy principal mentioned his need to one of the church members who "happened" to know the young man. it was arranged that the young man should work for his board and tuition and have five hours a day for study. the worshiper described himself in his sketch of the answer to his prayers as one whom "god has led into the fulfillment of all his highest ambitions." he is pastor of a strong church in cleveland. a little tot prayed for a "singing doll," and her mother told her that a doll was too small a matter to pray for. but the father overheard the conversation, and, after purchasing the most costly one he could find at his noon hour, he left it on the little one's bed in the night when everyone else was supposed to be asleep. a widow prayed for some leadership in the sale of some wild land in louisiana. her relatives urged her to let it go, as the "taxes will soon eat it all." but the unexpected payment of a debt due her led her to feel that, as she had been temporarily provided for, she would wait. in about seven weeks she read in a paper that a company had struck oil on the next section to her estate. she consequently leased the mineral privileges of her land at a high price. a minister prayed for a sermon text and found that the sunday-school superintendent had thoughtlessly left in the bible the sabbath before a slip of paper on which was written the title which mary magdalene used when addressing jesus in the garden near his tomb: "rabboni." the minister now remembers that sermon when nearly all others are forgotten. a student whose mental faculties were unusually dull for his age prayed that he might pass his examination in mathematics. that night in his dreams his subconscious self worked out plainly on a blackboard the two hardest problems. a farmer prayed for some deciding hint in his choice of seed for his land. on his way home he held a bundle in his lap which was in a newspaper wrapper. in one column on the wrapper directly under his eyes was an article on the soils and products of his country which opened his vision and made his farming safe and profitable. an alsatian girl prayed that her father and mother might come to america. they knew nothing of her petition, but on that same day and hour, allowing for the difference in the reckoning of time, the parents resolved to come to america, and financial aid was promised them. a lawyer was asking the lord for some clew to lost evidence, so necessary to his case to be tried the next day, when the name of a witness whose relation to the case he had not before thought of, and whose name had been long forgotten, was suggested to him. while doubtful of the value of the witness, he sought his name in the directory and found that the lost witness was all-sufficient for the case. a dealer in real estate asked the lord to prosper a proposed transaction, if it were for the best, and to hinder it if it would be injurious. he unintentionally omitted the word "not" from the draft of a contract which he drew the next day and the "accidental" omission brought him to unexpected possession of a profitable block of houses. to the unbeliever all these testimonials prove but little. but to the experienced observer of repeated answers to prayer they are conclusive proofs of god's disposition to answer the "effectual, fervent prayer of the righteous man." as a woman may feel when she puts her weary life into the care of a strong and affectionate husband, the trusting believer in prayer rests in god in a peaceful condition of soul, which passeth all understanding. chapter ii day of pentecost that great day at the baptist temple stands out in the history of the local church there even as the greater pentecost must have been first in the memory of the disciples at jerusalem. no one who entered personally, body and soul, into the services of that easter in philadelphia can possibly forget the overpowering impressions of the divine spirit. "tongues of fire" seemed to the spectator no longer an extravagant metaphor to use. for the sake of a careful examination of the question whether the baptism of the spirit is of god or men, the plain facts are here stated. it was easter morning, , when the sun began to gild the city hall tower. people flocked to the lower hall of the temple from all directions. each greeted the other with the words, "he is risen," and faces glowed as they assembled. there was no prearranged program and no announcements. the people began to sing with enthusiasm before the leader ascended the platform. then came the moment of silent prayer. it seemed as if "the place was shaken." the whole company trembled as if they realized they were in the visible presence of the almighty. the most conservative shed tears. there were many brief expressions from the audience, and often three were speaking at the same time. there was no shouting, no riotous disorder, no wild movements of uncontrolled emotion. excited crowds at political gatherings, angry mobs, and panic-stricken crowds seem to have a form of that emotional common pressure. but that easter gathering was a surrender of soul to the telepathic influence of a common spirit. one elderly quaker shouted at the close of the meeting, "i would like to stay here forever," reminding all of peter's call for three tabernacles on the mount of transfiguration. there was an intermission of an hour before the morning preaching service in the auditorium. but the people would not go out for breakfast. some fasted all day. they talked about christ and of their home in glory and exchanged promises to pray for friends, for missions, and for churches. before the hour of the established morning service the large upper temple had overflowed. there had been no advertisement of the services. there were no unusual decorations of the auditorium and no special music provided. the preacher had not prepared a sermon, nor had he read over that morning a selected chapter. he had been too much crowded with visitors and pressing calls of the needy and dying to devote even a half an hour to mental preparation. but no feeling of doubt or of weakness entered his heart. he felt a strange support and uplift of soul which kept away all fears. he had not decided to preach at all, and hesitated whether he had not best venture on an "experience meeting" in the time usually allowed for the easter sermon. but the choir was inspired; they, too, felt the impression of a solemn convocation. they never sang like that before, and the old tunes were vibrant with a resurrection life. the people sang and wept. city officials, principals of the schools, court judges, and merchants, let the tears fall. there seemed to be an absolute surrender of all classes to a common pressure toward god. the preacher arose with a most powerful impulse to kneel and weep. he forgot to announce a text, but he began to talk brokenly on the appearance of christ to mary magdalene in the garden near the tomb. his vision of the scene was so real to him that he has never through the years lost that clear view of it. the preacher seemed to be there in the garden. he saw the lord; he heard that divine voice; he saw that lovely face, the smile which greeted mary. the preacher heard the conversation, saw the excited woman fall at her saviour's feet, and heard him say, "i am not yet ascended unto my father!" oh, where is there a language to describe to mortal men the all-pervading glory and the thrills of angelic joy which the preacher experienced under those circumstances? to himself he seemed to be taken out of his physical limitations. he was not himself. he was a higher personality. he saw visions of beauty and heard the harps of glory. he lacks no words nor thoughts. he speaks the ideas which are given him. there is no other joy on earth with which to compare that. it is so unlike the richest or sweetest emotions which other forms of happiness awaken. it is supreme! unaccountable things occurred that morning which no prolonged or hard study has explained. the preacher cannot feel sure that he was inspired, and hesitates to mention the facts lest men should doubt their truth or ascribe to him an egotistical claim to sanctity. but the experience with that sermon, and sometimes with other addresses, presents a psychological study which none of the authorities on mental law have yet explained. the stenographic report of the sermon showed that the speaker quoted from homer, justinian, macaulay, shakespeare, longfellow, and molière accurately, without hesitation, in the onrush of his excited speech. but when he read them in the shorthand report he could not remember that he ever had read those quotations and was absolutely unable to recall that he used such words. the interpretation which he unhesitatingly gave of the scene in the garden and of the words of jesus were also new to him and caused him anxious hours of research afterward to learn whether his views could have been correct. but no sermon in his forty years of work in the pulpit has proven so reasonable or so generally acceptable to the devout critics of scriptural exegesis. he has tried to account for the quotations by accrediting them to the telepathic influence of stronger minds in the audience who were familiar with them. but that, too, can be only a guess. the mystery is not cleared up by such speculation. perhaps the preacher should have called in some one else to write this chapter; but that "some one else" is not on call. hence, these incidents are set down without a claim to uncommon inspiration. probably thousands of priests and preachers have felt a like exaltation. but the closing hymn which began with general participation by all the people was so broken before its close that the last verse was carried only by a few. the people wept for joy. the preacher knelt at his chair and prayed for aid to lead in the prayer and benediction. but the benediction was not heard, and the audience was slowly convinced that the benediction had been pronounced by the observation that the minister dropped his hands and walked away. the bible-school service in the afternoon was as solemn and impressive as the morning. many of the hundreds baptized that day expressed themselves as having felt the dovelike spirit of peace descending on them, too. nearly, if not all, the scholars and visitors turned sincerely and permanently to the lord. the evening services were given up wholly to praise. the rejoicing was deep and strong. the crowd standing in the aisles and on the steps did not move until after the benediction. the number of those in the sittings was three thousand one hundred and thirty-four, and of those standing who got inside the doors was seven hundred and eighty-three. out of that number over three hundred decided openly to confess their belief in the christ. these numbers are not especially great when compared with those of the great revivals, and are only mentioned here for the purpose of study. over seven thousand converts have been taken into the membership of the temple in thirty-nine years, but they have not been the direct results of seasons of special revival. great were the expectations of the church at that easter as they prepared for a great immediate harvest. but it was not gathered then. the personal, individual gathering of converts continued as usual. the great pentecostal visitation seemed to have had another purpose. each candidate for baptism as usual required individual instruction and often continued prayer before he or she could be thoroughly convinced of the necessity of a public confession of our lord. but the members of the church had in the pentecost received a new baptism of spiritual fire, and the interest in missions and in the bible was greatly increased. five missions were established which soon became strong churches. young men arose by the score to study for the ministry, and large gifts were made to the temple university. many kinds of local enterprises for the poor, the drunken, the foreigners, and the aged were opened by them in the city and suburbs. chapter iii axioms the prayerful soul must be sure that "god is," and that he heeds the call of his children. the religious soul must believe in a real divine being. one condition necessary to successful prayer is a fixed belief in the maker of all things. the christian should keep his brain supplied with "axioms." an axiom is a self-evident truth, an immovable, unchangeable fact. it is a fundamental principle of which all sane men are cognizant. it is a statement of truth which is below and above all argument--a truth which all men recognize as a part of their mental existence. an axiom is simply a reference to a necessary condition in the framework of the human constitution. every living man acts on those conditions, whether he recognizes them or not. the man whose common sense recognizes those immovable principles builds his belief and action on them safely. prayer, like all other religious things or conditions, needs to have a sure foundation. therefore, axioms which are used as the basis of mathematical science are true everywhere, and the worshiper needs to recognize them as fully as the civil engineer. here are presented some of the axioms on which the believer safely rests his faith. they cannot be proven, because they are vitally and essentially true. their nonexistence is positively unthinkable. if these axioms are not essential to all mental action, then the world is a dreamy unreality. "two parallel lines will never run together or cross each other." all recognize the absolute truth of the statement, and yet no one ever went to the end of the lines to get local evidence of the fact. "two halves are equal to the whole," states the college professor before his class. he would be an idiot if he tried to "prove it." he may illustrate the idea by cutting an apple into halves and putting them together again. but the essential truth of the proposition every mind had accepted before he mentioned it. "two quantities or objects which are equal to a third quantity or object are equal to each other." a boy smiles at the waste of time in telling him such an axiomatic or self-evident fact. but the instructor is not attempting to inculcate a new principle, but rather to call attention emphatically to an immovable fact woven into the vital fabric of all human minds. the thinker who stands squarely on those fundamental facts can trust himself and can be trusted by all. a careful review of one thousand and twenty letters relating to established cases of successful prayer showed that the believer accepted as fundamentally true axiomatic facts of which the following is a partial list. we know only because the mental knowledge is an essential part of our intellectual existence. we therefore know: that two and two make four. that we exist. that we are independent, thinking beings. that there is moral obligation to do right. that there is good and evil. that our essential self is not the body. that every effect has an adequate cause. that all things made had a maker. that there must have been a first cause. that all things change. that nothing can be annihilated. that wickedness should be punished. that goodness should be rewarded. that all happiness depends on the state of mind. that there is a permeating spirit moving on all the events about mankind. that man must eat to live. that when man has done his best, yet his success still depends on providence--often called good fortune or good luck. that prayer can influence external conditions. that light is not darkness. that love is not hate. that up is not down. that the future is not the past. that all men must leave the body. that mankind is sinful. that somewhere justice must be done to clear up the inequalities of this life. that men essentially evil would not be at home or welcomed in a heaven occupied only by the good. that worshiping an ideal of perfect righteousness makes the worshiper like the ideal, as a perfect model makes a more perfect statue. that some things have more intrinsic value than others. that the highest satisfaction of soul is in the communion with god. that the soul is indestructible and must live forever. these axioms are unchangeably true, and all doubts or attempts to "prove" them bring only confusion and partial insanity. to doubt generally that we see or feel or smell or think is to undermine all knowledge and to make life a crazy jumble. some things we do know; it is suicidal to doubt them. these are mankind's chief good. they constitute the world's greatest treasure, which is "everyday common sense." if common sense, unadulterated, be given any man he will worship god. the keenest scientist cannot safely leap off that one ship. one of the testimonials wherein the author, who was never a student in the "school of doubt," tells why he came to feel the necessity of prayer relates to one day's experience. he had decided, after much thought, just how he would use his time before he left his little home in the morning. he had made up his mind to take a trolley car, but a heavy truck had fallen on the track, so he was compelled to change his plan and walk. he reached his small store one half hour late, and a customer that he had arranged to meet had called and gone. he intended to call on a salesman, of whom he was to purchase a new stock of goods, and the telephone was out of order, owing to the effects of the electricity of a distant thunderstorm. he sent for a cab for the purpose of visiting the salesman at the hotel in another part of the city, but the horse attached to the cab fell at the store door and broke necessary parts of the harness. the accident made his proposed trip useless, because of the delay. he ordered his lunch which he usually ate in the back store, but he did not get time to eat it, owing to a visit from a salesman from new york, who wished him to take a large bankrupt stock of a new line of goods. the coming profits seemed large and sure. he would have missed that trade had the car been on time or the telephone in order or had the horse not fallen. even the lunch he had so confidently expected to eat was thrown away. he went home at night with an entire change in his plans, and entered on a new line of trade. his wife was absent, attending on a sick neighbor, and his evening paper was too torn to read. when he knelt at his bedside that night to pray the feeling of utter dependence on god's providence made him throw himself on the lord as he had never done before. and after he was in bed he could hear his daughter entertaining her company in the parlor by singing, "i'll go where he wants me to go." that merchant was a man of great discernment and honest daily piety, and is said to have acted as agent for the government in the war time in the purchase of ninety millions' worth of his line of goods. another writer told of a young student for the ministry who came home on a visit to his village church and tried to prove that the world was not created by a personal god, that "evil and sickness are only delusions," and that "we do not exist." but an old farmer, noted for honesty, and whose common sense had caused the people to insist on his holding for years the office of mayor, arose after that leader of the meeting sat down, and remarked, "i still believe that, after all that has been said, my cows are real cows, and my wife is real, christ is real, and my tax bills are real; and i believe that that young man will some day come to himself, and admit that he was a theological idiot." but that old farmer also testified that he did not feel the need of asking christ for definite things, but declared that prayer was his daily recreation, and all things worked together for good. chapter iv praying for money in all the forty years of praying, of which only a partial record could be kept, there was no topic more satisfactory than the experience of such a large company in praying for money. there was no prearranged plan of procedure and no speculative purpose to obtain the help of god in the accumulation of property. but for some reason, which is not now recalled, there was given out for an evening's meditation the topic, "shall we pray for money?" there was a strong division of opinion, some asserting that we are not authorized to pray for anything but for the holy spirit. others asserted with complete confidence that prayer should be made for anything which we felt we needed. the majority appeared to be assured that men must work and seek only "the kingdom of god," and that they should believe that all other things would be given from god as we should have need. fortunately or providentially the men and women who held to the theory that god commands his disciples to pray for money determined to put the matter to a fair test. they were led by a consecrated deacon, at whose house they held the weekly meetings. they did not ask the lord for money at first, but prayed daily for instruction on the important question whether it was a duty, or was permissible, for men to pray for success in their secular business. there were four men and several business women whose experience was especially valuable. one of them was the owner or partner in a bookbindery. the company of believers devoted an entire evening to prayer for the prosperity of his business. they agreed, further, to pray for that one thing in unison at twelve o'clock each day for one week. the conditions were especially for observation, as the owner of the business was a devout, unselfish christian who had determined, years before, to give a tenth of all his income to the lord's work, and he stood willing to give his all if any good cause demanded such a sacrifice. the first week was without visible result, and some who were weak in faith abandoned the attempt to test the matter in that way. but the small number left began to study the conditions to which the lord had required obedience in order to be certain of a favorable answer. their first conclusion was that it is right to ask the lord for the necessities of life, which always included food, clothing, shelter, health, and worship. the good deacon stated that he had all of those things. he, however, stated that he owed quite a large sum in his business obligations, and he had prayed to the lord to aid him in paying his debts. then with one accord that company decided to pray for that one thing. the amount of the debts cannot now be recalled, but it was several thousand dollars, contracted for business furniture and machinery. although there are several witnesses living, it is difficult to state with assured accuracy the amounts involved. but to those who shared in the experiment the principal facts stand out clearly in the memory. the first noon prayer was on wednesday, which was the day following the prayer meeting. the deacon, after his noon lunch, went into a publishing house on chestnut street, as was his custom almost daily. there he was introduced to a gentleman from washington, d. c., who told the deacon that "for the first time in life" he had forgotten his train. he did not know the deacon's business when he told the deacon that he must return to washington without visiting new york, as his business in washington could not be left longer without immediate attention. but in his explanation he mentioned that he intended to give out a contract in new york for the binding of blank books for the government. when the deacon mentioned the fact that he was a bookbinder, and doing the same kind of work, immediately the gentleman became interested, and remarked that he did not know before that such work could be done in philadelphia. he made some inquiry in the store and, finding the deacon's reputation for integrity and honesty was very high, he arranged with the deacon to put in new machinery, to hire another floor in the building, and agreed that the government should make an advance payment on the first order. the deacon hurried to another member of the prayer circle who was a jeweler also on chestnut street and, with a tear, declared that the lord had already shown his hand in his business. the third day, as the deacon was looking at some machinery, the salesman told the deacon that he had heard that a new york bindery was going out of business on account of a larger opportunity for the firm in another line of work, and the salesman advised the deacon to go over and see it. when the next weekly meeting of the prayer circle was held the deacon had bought in new york all the machinery that he needed, all in good condition, and at an astonishingly low price. ever after that the deacon, when he entered his office in the morning, shut himself in for ten minutes and prayed for the lord's direction in his business. another prayer test followed by the agreement of that prayer circle to pray for the jeweler, who was one of the circle and whose business was in a most deplorable condition. the jeweler was old and forgetful, and his son had moved out of the city rather than stay among his acquaintances when the inevitable financial wreck should come. the jeweler stated his condition fully to the meeting, and even declared his intention of calling a meeting of his creditors as a preliminary to bankruptcy proceedings. he said that the condition was so manifestly his own fault that all he dared ask of the lord was that the creditors would be lenient toward him. two or three days after that meeting the jeweler's son was called to philadelphia to attend the funeral of a member of his wife's family. after the funeral, while talking with a manufacturer from baltimore, who was one of the mourners, the son said that his father was a first-class clock maker of forty years' experience, but that he was unfitted for the management of finances. the manufacturer said that he needed an experienced man to superintend a new factory in baltimore, then under construction. the son advised his father to write to the manufacturer for the job to begin work when he should close his chestnut street store. the jeweler wrote a long description of his troubles, and asked for employment. the manufacturer, after receiving it, took a train to philadelphia and then spent the afternoon and the greater part of the night in trying to make a reasonable estimation of the value of the chestnut street business. the outcome of that examination was that the manufacturer took over the whole business, paid off the debts, and formed partnership with the jeweler which opened into a prosperous trade. an old lady who must have been one of that prayer circle wrote that she recalled the fact that the circle agreed to pray for her business, which was then a "notion store" on columbia avenue, philadelphia. she writes that soon after the united prayer for her business began there was a fire which destroyed the store next to her lot. in the reconstruction of the next store the owner was anxious to build larger and offered her an unexpectedly large sum as a bonus and also desired to combine in a partnership with her to put both stores into one general store. the bonus she invested in an annuity, and the business afterward paid her enough to live in all the comforts of a cultured life. it is said that everyone of that prayer circle became prosperous, but it may be helpful to mention one more of the most remarkable cases. a young clerk in a great national bank, who came from a farm to learn what he could there of finances, stated freely that he was getting all that he was worth to the bank, and that he was contented with his financial condition. he told the circle that he did not wish to be included in their prayer list. but when the reports began to come in of the successful prayers and the circle grew in numbers and in interest he began to consider how much more good he could do if he had a larger income. he handled thousands of dollars daily, and checked up often the accounts of prosperous and generous business men of the city. at last the desire to be of more use to the lord led him to begin to pray for money. finally, he confessed his changed attitude and asked the circle to give one week of prayer for him. a few days later an epidemic of the grippe laid in bed all but three of the bank's employees. one day the assistant cashier and the clerk were the only persons on time at the opening of the bank. they persuaded a vice president of another bank to come to their assistance, and he was so impressed with the young clerk's efficiency and coolness that he offered him the place of assistant cashier in his own bank. the position was finally accepted, and led to his promotion, a few years after, to the presidency of the bank. the experience of that prayer circle was more or less the general experience of the church members. the suggestions of a church service, the aid to an honest and industrious life, and the greater health of church members, generally confirm everywhere the fact that the christian faith and habits are surely the most favorable for "the life that now is, as well as for the life which is to come." in connection with this phase of our narrative there should be written a brief account of an experience which surprised even the most conservative minds. appeals for subscriptions have been made rarely in the temple. such appeals have accomplished but little. the regular gifts of the many persons have steadily paid all expenses and provided enough over to finally pay off all debts. but there were seasons when unusual sums were needed and when the money was furnished from some unexpected sources seemingly in direct answers to special prayer. on one occasion there was an especially large sum given into the treasury when it was imperatively needed and when no notice of the need had been given from the pulpit. on one sunday morning the preacher could find no other satisfactory subject on which to build a sermon, and he talked with the people about the bible-school lesson for that day. the subject included a description of how the jews were required to select the best lamb of the flock for an offering to god. they did not hope that god would hear their prayers unless they gave their best to the lord. the sermon closed with a sentence or two of application to our own times. the emphatic exhortation stated that offerings and prayers should go together, but the offering should precede the prayer. at the evening service some person sent to the pulpit a note, asking that the printed order of services "be changed so as, thereafter, to substitute the word 'offering' for the word 'collection.'" the minister, acting on the impulse of the moment, announced a change in the order of the services, and said that as the ancient custom of making an offering before asking the lord for a gift or blessing was surely acceptable to god, an "offering" would be taken before the prayer, instead of after the prayer. no unusual sum came in that evening. the notes of the church were coming due ten days later. but those debts were not thought of by minister or ushers in any relation to that offering, though prayers were often made for the help of the lord in the payment of the debt. the following sunday morning the collection was said to be the largest ever received by the ushers; while the fact was not mentioned from the pulpit, it was the subject of general comment among the people after service. at the evening service the offering was so great that one of the ushers related how he had to go out and empty the basket he was passing and come back to finish taking the offering. nothing else had been done or said, and the church notes were paid as a matter of course. but the prayers made that day were made immediately before the offering was taken. the question was put to the audience twice to ascertain if anyone who made a special offering on that particular day had not been answered, and there was no exception in the mass of testimony to the efficiency of each prayer that day. the recitals of the marvels which followed that prayerful offering were too startling for general belief. the reports may have been exaggerated in the time of such general excitement, but the people had complied with the conditions, and god had answered clearly according to his promise. they had "brought the tithes into the storehouse," and the lord had poured out the blessings as an infallible result. the letters which came to the officials of the church relating incidents concerning the effects of the prayers made that day were not filed then as they have been in later years, and the record here must depend wholly on the memory of two or three witnesses. the following partial list of cases is very nearly correct. the cases of sudden and in some cases instantaneous recovery of the sick were related by hundreds of people. in one case a poor man whose only living child was insane put his money into the basket that morning and prayed for his child's recovery. both he and she often declared that while being forcibly given a cold bath at the time that offering was made she felt "a loud report in her head like the report of a pistol," and her mind was found to be normal in all respects from that instant. the father went to the sanitarium that afternoon, as was his custom on the sabbath, and his daughter met him at the door in her right mind. a lady sold her best clothes and all her jewelry on saturday and brought the whole of the proceeds and gave all as an offering as she prayed for her own healing. she suffered greatly from sciatic rheumatism, inherited from several generations. she fell on the front steps of the church, as they were helping her to the carriage, and arose to find the pain had permanently disappeared. one old gentleman who was involved in a ruinous lawsuit over a lease of his little shop brought all the profits of the previous week and deposited them as he prayed for a legal and just victory. the next day or on the second day his goods were so badly damaged by the smoke and water, caused by a fire in the store next door, that the insurance company took the stock at his valuation and the landlord withdrew his suit. another case generally believed, but not fully confirmed, was of an englishman who, not having money enough to pay his fare to australia, deposited all that he did have into the offering and prayed for his passage. it was asserted and not contradicted that he found a one-hundred-dollar bill the next day in his wallet or in his bureau drawer, placed there by some friend whom he could not discover. another related how she determined to risk all on one prayer, and gave all as she prayed. when the plumbers came to repair a leak the next week after the prayer they discovered a loose board in the floor under which her father had secretly hidden his money. the sum she found was much more than enough to pay off the overdue mortgage on her cottage. there were probably fifty such cases reported in detail at the time. but a solemn sense of sacredness connected with those experiences pervaded the assemblies, and no notice of the cases was given from the pulpit. and yet a calm and careful examination of the results of that exercise of faith has often suggested a strong doubt whether that experience did not do more harm than good. the direct and immediate results convinced the devout believers that when a true servant of god makes a sincere offering god will invariably accept the offering and answer in some manner his petition fully. but it seems impossible to find the line between the motives which may make an offering acceptable or unacceptable to god. the remarkable success of that day of offering led many to believe that they could drive a bargain with the lord. absurd as it seems, there were many earnest christians who believed that they could invest a small sum in an offering and by asking for a large sum would make an immense profit in the transaction. a dangerous spirit of gambling arose. noble men and women were caught in a theological net spread by the spirit of evil. the heavens soon became brass and no offering seemed acceptable. it was a dangerous period in the history of the church. some gave up all faith in prayer. the speculative spirit led some to give largely with a hope of a hundredfold return. the treasury of the church was being filled rapidly, but there were divisions over the investment of the money. some strong members left the church, while several counted their offerings as a dead loss and went back "into the world" altogether. but there is left a good foundation for a consistent belief in the power of consistent prayer in producing objective results. while it may be difficult for a human father to discern between the motives of his child who brings him a gift so as to be sure that the gift is the exhibition of a pure affection, yet the lord has no such limitation. he knows whether the offering is a gambling venture or a lovely deed inspired by a pure, unselfish love. god does love and does answer a cheerful giver. the loving son remembers the unselfish devotion of his mother and the offerings she gave him without thought of any return or reward and his delight to have her ask him to do for her. god is love, and he loves the lover. his intrinsic nature compels him to answer the call of his beloved. but he cannot be driven or tricked into granting the prayer of a greedy deceiver whose whole motive is selfish. the idea is foolishly unrighteous which looks upon the arrangement of providence as a slot machine into which the pretended worshiper may put a copper penny and draw out a gold dollar. as gold must be given for gold, so love must be given for love. chapter v unanswered prayers the many letters which report that prayers have not been answered made the examination into that department of the investigation to be most discouraging until the testimonies were read the second or third time. slowly it dawned on the reader that the writers did not know, after all, whether their prayers were answered or not. a bright light was let in on the subject by the expression of one who stated that he had prayed for the means to pay off a mortgage on his home until he had abandoned all hope and had decided to sell his house to the railroad company for a siding. in answer to a later inquiry the discouraged petitioner stated that the jury, to which by contract both parties agreed to leave the assessment of the "land damages," had given him money enough to buy a much finer home away from the continual annoyance of passing trains. many of the wholly disappointed petitioners closed their complaints or doleful faultfinding outbursts with the stereotyped quotation, "nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done!" to some "the heavens are as brass"; to others, their prayers did not go "higher than their heads," and to still others their prayers became meaningless and like "words called into the thin air." this phase of our topic could not be followed up as far as a careful investigator could wish, because it involved so much correspondence and so much delay. but a general statement of the conclusions reached by those whose prayers had, seemingly, not been answered can be safely made. they all naturally and necessarily formed a concept of god by imagining him to be an all-mighty and all-good man. the human mind seems incapable of forming any other idea of god than can be obtained from a human model, greatly enlarged. jesus knew what was in man when he taught his disciples to say, "our father." human kings, human fathers, human saints human sinners are really pictured in the minds of all who strive to visualize the almighty, or his son, or the angels. no hindu can even think nirvana. no mind can meditate on nothing. everything conceived in the mind must be like something else. reasoning from "the known to the unknown," or "the lesser to the greater," is the only possible process by which man can know god. so all those seemingly defeated ones had looked up to god as to a great man, and when he seemed to do nothing in answer to their requests they concluded that he either did not hear or that he would not even reply. they did not think, however, of their heavenly father as they would of an earthly father who was perfectly good. a good and wise father must often deny his child the article for which he asks, but he will not dismiss the matter with a curt denial. he will try to find something else for his child, as has been already stated in a previous chapter. the testimonies which asserted that the all-good god had denied or ignored the requests of his followers were the strongest proofs of the fact that god had granted their requests. the father who would not give a stone to his child who asked for bread would not give a stone to his starving child who asked for a stone. in those seasons when the attention of the people was centered specially on the results of prayer there was often heard the expression, "perhaps he sees that it is best for me that i should not get the blessing for which i asked." but a consensus of opinion taken from the mass of correspondence showed a general belief that there are no unanswered prayers. they believed that in some other way which was better and wiser god sent his child a more valuable token of his love. those reports gave the student an insight into the popular religious beliefs of the common people. the theological creeds and formulas which are found in the libraries are written by talented, studious scholars who put their own conclusion into print and do not attempt to set out the opinions retained by the masses. often a silent congregation retains a strong belief in some theological idea which the preacher does not recognize. often the minister of a church, having the reputation of being firmly orthodox, teaches theories which are not accepted by his hearers. hence, the scrutiny of all that correspondence covering so many years gave an insight into the faith of the everyday christian which was enlightening and helpful. the testimony came from a much wider circle than the actual membership of that church, as visitors at the temple from other quarters of the earth sent in their accounts of the way the lord had answered their prayers. in those letters some remark or some statement often unconsciously disclosed this belief relating to prayer. their beliefs concerning death, the judgment, the future life, the methods used by the lord in his administration, and the occupations of the saints in heaven most strangely harmonized when a careful digest was made. the divine plan of salvation and the creator's purpose revealed in natural law were sometimes quite at variance with the dogmas of the pulpit. but the common theories came out so distinctly that a statement of them is a matter of no difficulty. the common people connected directly or indirectly with the christian churches believe: that every person lives on as an individual after the body dies. that the life on earth determines the state of happiness or misery in the spiritual existence. that the soul is of the same substance as that of the angels. that the occupation of the redeemed in the spirit world is the same as that of the angels. that the departed persons know one another and keep company with those they have loved and known on earth. that they serve god as his messengers to the inhabitants of the earth. that they cannot be called nor can they visit the earth unless especially sent by the almighty. that the condition of the wicked or of those unfit for god's service in heaven is unknown. that after the judgment there may come the annihilation of the wicked. that heaven is a condition of everlasting progress in knowledge. that salvation depends on the intrinsic character, and that a conversion to christ is a conversion to a godly character. that many of the ceremonies of the churches are useless, and that the various denominations should endeavor to unite in some one federation. that god is gradually building up a perfect human race on earth. that he commands his servants to come to his aid in securing that end. that the best or only way to fit ourselves for heaven is in the practice and discipline of helping humanity in the development of a higher race. that christ is a divine spirit, existing from everlasting to everlasting, and that his atonement for sinners is a part of god's great purpose to people earth and heaven with perfect beings. but the consensus of the opinion which related to prayer and the methods the lord adopts to convey his answers should have special notice here. there was a decided agreement in their imaginative conception of the way the lord arranged for the conveyance of his decisions to those who call upon him. they hold in common that god is "immanent" in nature, and his replies to our requests may come as quietly and mysteriously as god's answer to the farmer who, in an act which is a prayer, places a seed in the ground. many testified to their belief that "all things work together" in producing the effects of prayer on those who love god. nearly all, also, believed that god often called an angel to him when the prayer of faith came to him from the earth, and that he gave the angel personal instructions to visit the petitioner and aid him or her. the views of the bible and its doctrines, according to the general opinion, appear to be that it is the best book ever written, and that it was inspired by a purpose so pure and unselfish as to be divine. one old lady expressed the general sentiment of the entire body when she wrote that, "the bible is the best book i know of, and it is the only one which tells me about heaven, and i don't let any fool of a scholar argue it out of my life." the feeling of the average reader of the bible is decidedly in favor of the king james translation of the bible, with the introductive address to the king omitted. the division of that old translation into short verses was of great assistance to the memory, and was generally quoted by all classes. but when the new translation was set solidly in type it decidedly changed the appearance of the book and added emphasis to an impression that a new and different book had taken the place of the bible. the bible was largely discarded by the common people wherever the new version was forcibly introduced. the old translation, with explanatory notes in the margin, was the ideal bible for the masses, and had it been retained the general disappearance of the bible from the homes and libraries would have been avoided. the so-called authorized version was followed by many versions privately translated to emphasize some creed or belief and added much to the confusion of the common people. the changes in the wording of the new translation were sufficient also to make those who had quoted the old version with confidence doubt the correctness of their previous knowledge, and led, naturally, to the discontinuance of bible quotations by those who knew the bible best. the popular opinion appears to be that the new translation was a great hindrance to the use of the english bible. the number of readers of the bible, however, is much larger than the estimate which many modern writers give. the sabbath school and haphazard pulpit essays have not so completely supplanted the home study of the scriptures, as has been so often stated. the use of the bible as the standard of moral character continues to be the practice of millions who may not study it closely or may not read it at all. that miracle-working book is still a most powerful moral force in all departments of our civilized life. no patriot or respectable scholar can ignore the value of the bible as the highest literature or as the foundation for all just human laws. the people do believe in it. chapter vi prayer for others although it is difficult to divide the subject of prayer into clearly separate departments, yet, for the purpose of concentrating the thought of the reader, and with the idea of emphasizing the importance of the events selected, this chapter has been set apart for special discussion. the possible relation of the law of mental telepathy to this experience has already been suggested and need not be repeated here. but the recent general sympathy with the parents of a child which was stolen led many christians to pray for the recovery of the precious little one. at the temple in such a case was presented at the church services and an appeal made to the people to ask the lord to influence the kidnapers to bring back the child. that led to the discussion of many previous cases where the parents believed that their lost child was returned to them in answer to prayer. in two cases each child was carefully deposited at the door of its parents. in both cases they had held special meetings of their neighbors to pray for the return of their child, and in one case they had appealed to the priest for his intercession. if the lord used his direct power to bring the child home it must have been used through some event or some direct suggestion having an influence on the minds of the captors, because in the cases here mentioned there was no clew revealed which could lead to the abductors. but an older case may illustrate what most probably did occur in other instances. in a child two years of age was stolen from the front yard of a home in charlestown, massachusetts (now a part of boston). a large ransom was demanded which was far beyond the reach of the parents. after several weeks of excited search by all the police organizations of the nation the child was secretly returned, without ransom, and left cheerfully rapping on its parents' door. one of the robber gang who had conspired to steal children for ransoms, and who had laid the successful plan to capture that child, was arrested several days after the return of the child and confessed his share in the crime. his account of the influences and events which led to the restoration of the child was a most impressive and convincing illustration of the spiritual forces god may use in such cases. the band of four robbers could not quiet the child when they carried him away, and they resorted to a gag which nearly killed the child. but the frightened little fellow screamed whenever the gag was taken from his mouth and would not eat or drink. the child was evidently near to death. then one of the robbers carried the child to a woman who occupied a room over a saloon in brooklyn, new york. the woman was able to pacify the child, and explained to acquaintances that the child was an orphan whose mother, a near relation, had just died. the woman knew that the child was being held for a ransom, of which she was promised a large share. but she did not know from what part of the country the child came. she was an irreligious, coarse, profane woman, and cared only for money and drink. but one day she sent a letter to the resort of the gang and told them that she had a clear presentiment that something dreadful would happen to them if they did not hurry up the business of returning the child. as they paid no attention to her warnings she wrote again, saying that she would keep the child but ten days longer. they then visited her or wrote to her to care for the child three weeks longer, as they were sure of the "swag" by that time. in the following week one of the gang was caught by the foot in a falling window sash as he tried to leap to a fire escape and he was burned to death while he hung there. the hotel was in full blaze when he awoke and his only possible escape was by that window. another one of the gang swallowed a broken glass button when hastily eating a piece of biscuit at a railroad restaurant. he was taken to a hospital or sanitarium in montreal, where after long agony he died, and his body was buried in the public ground. when the woman who held the child heard of that she took the child boldly to the house where the other three or four abductors met and flatly told them that all of them would come under a curse if they did not return that child to his parents. but they made a joke of their comrades' death, and gave her brandy until she wandered home drunk. the child was then placed in charge of a poor widow in hoboken, who was told that the mother was dead and the father was at sea, but would soon return. they paid liberally in advance for the child's board, and none of the circumstances awakened the least suspicion in the widow's mind. one night she slept with the child's arm across her neck. she awoke with a dreadful feeling of being choked to death by a strong man who exclaimed, "that child is stolen, and you must appear before god at once to give an account." the details of her experiences are here quoted from the new york _herald_. the widow called it "a waking dream." she was so shocked by the experience that she would not keep the child and sent for the man who had brought the child and demanded that the child be at once taken away. she did not believe that her warning was a premonition of any crime nor that the child had been stolen, but she was in a state of strange terror and told the man who came for the child that she was too nervous to board so young a child. it appears that when the robber returned to the usual rendezvous, after leaving the child at an orphan asylum and agreeing to pay for the board of "his child," he found another member of the party down with a sudden and dangerous fever. then he, too, was struck with an impression of coming doom. it remained upon him night and day. he became so intoxicated that he was locked in the jail. in the depression of his recovery from the drink he determined to kill himself. then the idea that he might escape from his horror by taking the child back to its home became so insistent that as soon as he was released he went after the child and took it back on the night train. he told the lisping child to rap on his father's door and "call for papa." then he hastened away and did not return to his former gang. this authentic incident may or may not prove that prayer was answered, as it is not known what prayers were offered for that child's recovery. but it does show how the lord may work in other cases where prayers are openly made. the angels of god are sent to pronounce curses on the disobedient sometimes, and terrible plagues are sent on men by them. hence, the lord does use various curses to work out his will and it seems reasonable to believe that he does warn men and women by terrible mental impressions. this theory is strongly confirmed by the testimonies found in this large correspondence. lost children were restored after prayers were made for them in startlingly impressive manners. at cape may a fisherman obeyed a wholly unexplainable impulse and put back to the marshes, feeling that he had "left something," but unable to remember what it was. there he heard the cry of the lost child, wading waist deep in the incoming tide. a merchant of wilmington, delaware, wrote that his child was taken by the grandparents when his wife died, and after the grandparents died the child was hidden by the relatives. the reason for the action was because of a difference of religious faith. he began one day a regular system of prayer for the recovery of his child. he went to a fishing camp in the woods of maine in august and his child came into his log hut for a drink of water. she was with a party who camped near by in tents. another stolen child was the little son of a doctor who prayed long and hard for the return of his little son. the sudden attack of chills felt by a passenger on a hudson river boat at the pier caused the officers to call him on board from the wharf. the afflicted matron and his own child were in the same stateroom together. one trustworthy officer of the church testified that his child had wandered away from the railroad station while he was asleep on the bench, and that he could not find her after an all-night search. he prayed at his family prayers, asking the lord in sobs to protect and return his child. he said that an impression as strong as a voice insisted in his mind that he ought to search in some freight yards across the river. the yards were one mile from the station. he told his friends how he felt and insisted that he would go to the yards and search. there he found his starving child under an old fallen fence. he never could discover any satisfactory solution of the mystery of her presence in the railroad yards. she must have toddled the whole mile among vehicles in the night. he has firmly believed in guardian angels ever since that day. there were numerous cases told of mental impressions made upon children away from home by the influence of a mother's prayer. to all of these incidents the skeptic will assert that, though there be millions of cases where men and women "happened to think" of the person praying at the moment the prayer was offered, it would not be conclusive proof that the thought was suggested by the prayer or in answer to it. but this suggestion presents other cases wherein it is far more difficult to disbelieve than it is to believe. the weight of evidence is almost overwhelmingly on the side of the christian believer. the belief that god will so adjust his providences as to bring to a person friends, weather, business, health, and domestic peace in answer to the prayer of some insistent friend is almost universal. general garibaldi stated that he found that his belief in the efficacy of his mother's prayers in securing protection of his life when in danger was accepted by all his friends as a statement which at least might be realized. the common-sense view that where a theory cannot be subjected to proof either way it surely is wisest to believe in that view which has the strongest influence for good on the life and usefulness of the believer. what a man believeth, as well as what he thinketh, determines what he is. he who believes in the efficacy of his father's or mother's prayers lives a nobler life than the skeptic. the sincere trusting heart which believes that the christ is the son of god, and that man is under the oversight of a loving heavenly father, is nearer the highest standard of human perfection than is the unstable and reckless man who claims that all things exist by chance. the friend who sincerely prays for you is a friend who would sacrifice most for you in case of need. two lovers, separated far and praying long for each other, is an exhibition of the truest, sweetest love. it is, also, the best test of god's disposition to heed the requests of his children. no prayer for another can be felt to be effective which is not inspired more or less by real love. the loving heart is a large part of a great previous character. he or she has an intercessory disposition--an intrinsic tendency toward doing good, and that, with a strong, clean mind, makes a true christian. such men are grateful to those who pray for them, and are impelled to pray for others. these are some of the reasons given by christians why people ought always to pray. chapter vii forms of prayer it appears that the extremest ritualist does not feel wholly bound to his prayer book. the people exercise great liberty in the choice of words or postures when they go to christ in anxious prayer. appropriate forms are reasonably sought for varying occasions, and some of the forms of prayer which are venerable for age and sublimity are reverenced and adopted because so often they best express the heart's sincere desire. the lord's prayer is recited with profit in a formal church service, but is seldom recited in time of extreme need. during the earthquake at san francisco no one was known to have repeated the lord's prayer. christ directed his disciples to pray "after that manner," and the spirit of that prayer, as well as the divine ideas or principles it contains, are applicable everywhere. but the exact words in english are not adjustable to every occasion. men in earnest ask for what they need in their own words and in their own way. the effectual and fervent prayer of the righteous man availeth much because it is fervent and righteous. to be in every way right, and then to add the inspiration or fire or fervency, are conditions which only the righteous can fill. but, happily, the sinner is not required to be right in all things before his prayer is heard. the stately dignity and beautiful phraseology of the catholic churches, the impressive forms of the old english ritual, or the simple appeal of the mission worker are all alike acceptable to god when they are the expression of real heart worship or of a call for relief in some actual need. in the worship at the baptist temple there has been no form of prayer in which the people so sincerely and so generally joined as in the prayers found in some of the hymns. a study of the human or apparent agencies which may have had some influence does not fully account for the spirit of prayer which some hymns awaken. a cool and analytical examination of this subject was made by the preacher one sabbath morning for the purpose of recording it here. a relation of the plain facts, without using the circumstances to establish any sectarian theory, will most clearly set out the case before the impartial critic. the hymn chosen that morning for the opening of the service was selected chiefly because it is a prayer. the three verses are as follows: father, whate'er of earthly bliss father, whate'er of earthly bliss thy sovereign will denies, accepted at thy throne of grace, let this petition rise: give me a calm, a thankful heart, from every murmur free; the blessings of thy grace impart, and make me live to thee. let the sweet hope that thou art mine my life and death attend, thy presence through my journey shine, and crown my journey's end. the people were everywhere in motion. some were coming in, some were standing near the doors, some were talking in low voices in the rear of the deep gallery, and many were arranging for their wraps or hats, while all, in the freedom of the social atmosphere ever prevailing there, were smilingly nodding to acquaintances or searching for hymn books. the opening chorus of the children's church, at their regular service, in the lower hall, could be indistinctly heard. the painful and awkward silence which embarrasses and chills the incoming worshiper in some churches was altogether absent that morning. the preacher began to read the hymn without waiting for silence or attention. he simply remarked, "let us sincerely and intelligently use this old hymn for our opening prayer." the congregation arose while the organist played a sweet, tender prelude, giving the impression that the organ itself was praying. a fair-haired child, kneeling in a snow-white night robe, lisping its evening prayer, was suggested to hundreds by the worshipful music. the well-trained religious chorus began to sing with devotion and unity and opened the prayer with the harmonious call, "father!" the congregation instinctively raised their eyes toward heaven. then all came strongly into the hymn with the petition: "father, whate'er of earthly bliss thy sovereign will denies, accepted at thy throne of grace, let this petition rise: "give me a calm, a thankful heart, from every murmur free; the blessings of thy grace impart, and make me live to thee." there was a single strain of an interlude and then the solemn prayer was entered upon with an unction and appreciation that thrilled every soul in the great audience: "let the sweet hope that thou art mine my life and death attend, thy presence through my journey shine, _and crown my journey's end_." then came a pause, and with a magnificent volume of sound the emphatic "amen!" confirmed the earnestness of the prayer. that was a real prayer! the holiness of the spirit of worship had taken possession of the whole congregation. all were interested in the reading of the bible, and when the notices were being read a most saintly old deacon sent up a slip of paper to the preacher on which were written these words--"pastor, please give us another prayer for the next hymn!" the pastor read the note to the people without comment, and looked over the hymn book for another prayer, when his eyes fell on the following hymn: jesus, i my cross have taken jesus, i my cross have taken, all to leave and follow thee; naked, poor, despised, forsaken, thou, from hence, my all shalt be: perish every fond ambition, all i've sought, and hop'd, and known; yet how rich is my condition, god and heav'n are still my own! let the world despise and leave me, they have left my saviour, too; human hearts and looks deceive me; thou art not, like man, untrue; and, while thou shalt smile upon me, god of wisdom, love, and might, foes may hate and friends may shun me; show thy face, and all is bright. go, then, earthly fame and treasure! come, disaster, scorn, and pain! in thy service, pain is pleasure; with thy favor, loss is gain. i have called thee, "abba, father"; i have stayed my heart on thee, storms may howl, and clouds may gather, all must work for good to me. man and trouble may distress me, 'twill but drive me to thy breast; life with trials hard may press me, heaven will bring me sweeter rest. oh, 'tis not in grief to harm me while thy love is left to me; oh, 'twere not in joy to charm me were that joy unmixed with thee. know, my soul, thy full salvation; rise o'er sin, and fear, and care; joy to find in every station something still to do or bear. think what spirit dwells within thee; what a father's smile is thine; what a saviour died to win thee: child of heaven, shouldst thou repine? haste thee on from grace to glory, armed by faith and winged by prayer; heaven's eternal day's before thee, god's own hand shall guide thee there. soon shall close thy earthly mission, swift shall pass thy pilgrim days, hope shall change to glad fruition, faith to sight and prayer to praise. oh, pity the seekers after god who go to a house of prayer to be provoked and harassed by the performance of some gymnastic performance in acoustics, by some professional entertainer of theatrical audiences. pity, indeed, the devout soul pleading for comfort in some deep sorrow whose sore heart is wrenched and bruised by the discordant attempts to leap, catlike, from shelf to shelf, up and down the musical scale. pity the overtempted contrite sinner who enters to pray for the strength to keep his resolution to reform and finds himself in a sham ceremonial which introduces the inartistic performers who almost force him to do worse. the extremely cultivated voice which seeks a prize exhibition of varied tones, or the extremely crude egotism of the community singer who ties himself in squirming knots as he yells the sacred and pathetic hymns which were written for the deep devotions of a broken heart are both sacrilegious and disgraceful. pity the congregation who, after wasting a most precious hour inside, hasten out, discussing along the street the wonders of the wild musical exhibition, and forgetting that they went in to worship. when the hymn we mentioned above was announced and read deliberately the preacher said, feelingly, "let us pray!" the prayer in that hymn was used by all. as they sang, their faces flushed. old men shed tears, and the preacher decided, before the last verse was sung, to take for his theme the last two lines: hope shall change to glad fruition, faith to sight and _prayer to praise_. one could almost catch the gleam of the glories that john saw at patmos. the place was a bethel to all the assembly. all were glad they were marching on to zion, and praised god with all their hearts for his promise of a home in that land where there is no night. the deep, soul-filled joy of the morning worship carried good cheer, hope, and courage into a thousand homes and made the week's labors enjoyable and prosperous. in choosing the form of prayer the temperament and state of health of the worshiper may be an important consideration. but whether in hymns or psalms or gestures, the call must be earnestly sincere. when the formal, monotonous recitations of the customary church rituals are recalled it becomes a marvel that the church survives the pious hypocrisy and sacrilegious indifference of the church pulpits and altars. the pulpit is seen by all and the words and tones of the preacher are heard by all; the place is the most conspicuous in the church life; and if the action or the ceremony is hypocritical or careless there, then the whole church is permeated by the same spirit. the form of expression must be a secondary consideration in all prayer, while appropriateness and custom have rightfully an influence on the petition. yet the essential thing is in the natural cry of a needy soul. prayer, as a public function, should be a stimulant or an instructor leading the individuals in the congregation to pray by and for themselves. the people must pray. the need of this was apparent in many of the requests made for prayer at the temple in philadelphia. "lord, teach us to pray," is ever the appeal of the religious masses. the union of two or three in concerted prayer for a definite thing was very effective. the observation of the same hour by many people has often developed a deep religious life and secured practical results. the testimony of one active business man exhibited triumphantly the use of continuous prayer and may serve as a comprehensive illustration. he wrote: i fought it out with myself, knowing the lord christ would work with me. when i awoke in the morning i thanked god for shelter and sleep. then i began to pray for the least things of my morning preparations--my clothes, my bath, my comb and brush, my articles used in any way. i thanked god for, and prayed for, the continuance of his kindness. i managed to keep in a state of prayer at the breakfast table. i prayed for instruction in purchasing the necessities of the home. i prayed as i left my door. i prayed along the street for wisdom to transact business. i prayed for the persons i met on my way. i prayed for the clerks, for the customers, for thoughts, for words, for farsightedness, for a contented disposition consistent with activity. if i wrote a letter i asked the lord to aid me in the writing and to protect the letter on to its delivery. i did not speak aloud or tell people i was praying. i kept the lord constantly in mind. i had some discouraging experiences with myself, but i kept pursuing the idea. at last it grew easy and enjoyable. it was in every way a success. i did not waste my money. i did not carelessly destroy articles i used. i did not overeat. i did not get angry with my employees. i felt a real interest in the welfare of others. i did my best and left all to god. it is now a settled habit. my health is almost perfect. before i began to pray i was asthmatic and gouty. if this has anything boastful about it, the lord forgive me. but in the request for my experience you insisted on "frankness in all accounts." whether it be possible for all to reach that prayerful condition and retain it permanently cannot be denied or asserted infallibly. but it is evident that but few reach it. the exhortation that is appropriate here appears to be to urge an honest effort to get as near to that devotional condition as possible and to hold all the ground we do gain. produced from scanned images of public domain material from the google print project.) * * * * * transcriber's note: every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as possible; please see detailed list of printing issues at the end of the text. * * * * * [illustration: ashley down orphan houses, bristol, eng.] the life of trust: being a narrative of the lord's dealings with george mÜller, written by himself. edited and condensed by rev. h. lincoln wayland, pastor of the third baptist church, worcester, mass. with an introduction by francis wayland. boston: gould and lincoln, washington street. new york: sheldon and company. cincinnati: george s. blanchard. . entered according to act of congress, in the year , by gould and lincoln, in the clerk's office of the district court of the district of massachusetts. stereotyped and printed by geo. c. rand and avery, cornhill. * * * * * editor's preface. having been requested by messrs. gould and lincoln to examine the work entitled "a narrative of some of the lord's dealings with george mÜller," the editor was convinced that its republication in this country would greatly promote the piety of american christians. but to reproduce the work in its original form was attended with difficulty. the "narrative," in four parts, (published respectively in , , , and ,) and the four "annual reports" issued in , , , and , would occupy not less than eighteen hundred pages of the size of those contained in this volume. the cost of such a work would greatly limit its circulation and its usefulness, if indeed any publisher should undertake its issue. there seemed no alternative except to abandon the idea of an american edition altogether, or to present it to the public in a condensed form. such a condensation seemed, on examination, to be entirely practicable. owing to the "parts" of the "narrative" having been published at four separate periods, it often happens that the same matter is several times repeated. a large portion of the space is occupied with the acknowledgment of donations received. these entries, although appropriate in a report made to the donors and to the british public, have not the same interest for american readers. the discussion of some points in church polity, and the account of the author's journeys upon the continent, though interesting and instructive, are not necessary to the continuity of the history. although in some cases the portions which have been omitted cover a considerable period of time, yet it is believed that all which is essential has been retained. no pains have been spared on the part of the editor to preserve the value of the work while reducing its compass, and to give, in a form universally accessible, a clear exhibition of the wonderful results of the life of george müller, as well as of the principles by which his life has been governed. believing that the book would be rendered more attractive to the reader, and more convenient for reference, the editor has divided it into chapters, and has prefixed to each a brief statement of some of the leading subjects introduced in the chapter. for these "contents," as well as for the headings of the chapters, and for the general title of the volume, the editor alone is responsible. the "narrative" of george müller has been blessed in other lands to the awakening of spiritual life. it was the means, as will be observed by the reader, of greatly forwarding, if not of originating, the work of grace now advancing in ireland. "the life of trust" is submitted to the christian public of america, in the hope that its still small voice may be heard even amid the clangor of political strife and the revulsion of commercial interests, and that it may be used by the divine spirit to promote and strengthen in the hearts of american christians, faith in the living god. h. l. w. worcester, dec. , author's preface. it was only after the consideration of many months, and after much self-examination as to my motives, and after much earnest prayer, that i came to the conclusion to write this work. i have not taken one single step in the lord's service concerning which i have prayed so much. my great dislike to increasing the number of religious books would, in itself, have been sufficient to have kept me forever from it, had i not cherished the hope of being instrumental in this way to lead some of my brethren to value the holy scriptures more, and to judge by the standard of the word of god the principles on which they act. but that which weighed more with me than anything, was, that i have reason to believe, from what i have seen among the children of god, that many of their trials arise either from want of confidence in the lord as it regards temporal things, or from carrying on their business in an unscriptural way. on account, therefore, of the remarkable way in which the lord has dealt with me as to temporal things, i feel that i am a debtor to the church of christ, and that i ought, for the benefit of my poorer brethren especially, to make known the way in which i have been led. in addition to this, i know that to many souls the lord has blessed what i have told them about the way in which he has led me, and therefore it seemed a duty to use such means, whereby others also, with whom i could not possibly converse, might be benefited. that which induced me finally to determine to write this narrative was, that if the lord should permit the book to sell, i might, by the profits arising from the sale, be enabled in a greater degree to help the poor brethren and sisters among whom i labor;--a matter which, just at that time, weighed much on my mind. i therefore began to write. but after three days i was obliged to lay the work aside on account of my other pressing engagements. subsequently, i was laid aside on account of an abscess; and being unable, for many weeks, to walk about as usual, though able to work at home, i had time for writing. when the manuscript was nearly completed i gave it to a brother to look over, that i might have his judgment; and the lord so refreshed his spirit through it, that he offered to advance the means for having it printed, with the understanding that if the book should not sell he would never consider me his debtor. by this offer not a small obstacle was removed, as i have no means of my own to defray the expense of printing. these last two circumstances, connected with many other points, confirmed me that i had not been mistaken, when i came to the conclusion that it was the will of god that i should serve his church in this way. the fact of my being a foreigner, and therefore but very imperfectly acquainted with the english language, i judged to be no sufficient reason for keeping me from writing. the christian reader, being acquainted with this fact, will candidly excuse any inaccuracy of expression. for the poor among the brethren this narrative is especially intended, and to their prayers i commend it in particular. george mÜller. contents. introduction xv chapter i. boyhood and youth. - . birth--early dishonesty--insensibility--confirmation in the state church--dissoluteness of life--the hard way of transgressors--the gymnasium at nordhausen--the university at halle--rovings chapter ii. the prodigal's return. - . a treasure found--dawning of the new life--the peace of god--"i am come to set a man at variance against his father"--"let him that heareth say, come"--the first sermon--delight in the lord--a common error--the fountain neglected chapter iii. self-dedication. - . desire for missionary labor--providential release from military service--visit at home--led to the land of his future labors--progress in religious knowledge--desire for immediate usefulness chapter iv. leaning on jesus. - . a door opened--tokens for good--trust exercised in the study and ministry of the word--the sword of the spirit--trusting in god for daily bread--blessedness of waiting upon the lord--"owe no man"--"according to your faith be it unto you"--the gift of faith and the grace of faith chapter v. ministry at bristol begun. - . "here have we no continuing city"--caution to the christian traveller--new tokens for good--the way made clear--meetings for inquiry--no respect of persons with god--francke, "being dead, yet speaketh"--daily bread supplied--a peculiar people chapter vi. the scriptural knowledge institution. - . unscriptural character of the existing religious and benevolent societies--a new institution proposed--god's word the only rule, and god's promise the only dependence--"in everything let your request be made known unto god"--earnest of the divine blessing on the institution--bereavement--helper seasonably sent--reward of seeking god's face chapter vii. home for destitute orphans. - . franke's works follow him--a great undertaking conceived--reasons for establishing an orphan house--prayer for guidance--treasure laid up in heaven in prayer and in faith the work is begun chapter viii. the field widening. - . an unexpected obstacle--implicit submission--a second orphan house proposed--an encouraging text--the new orphan house opened--completed answer to prayer--progress of the lord's work--the oversight of the flock chapter ix. trial. . the ministry of sickness--peace of mind--jesus a present help--deep poverty--pleading with god--united prayer chapter x. deliverance. . "perplexed but not in despair"--faith justified--a lesson of obedience--bountiful supplies--spiritual ingathering--a day of mercies--timely aid--a season of plenty--obedience rewarded chapter xi. asking and receiving. . help for the poor saints--the unfailing bank--means exhausted--liberality of a laboring sister--"he knoweth our frame"--redeeming the time--godliness profitable unto all things chapter xii. plenty and want. . a pure offering required--a journey proposed--seasonable provision--looking only to the lord--the wrath of man praising god--a promise fulfilled--benefit of trial--new springs opened--before they call i will answer--trust in god commended--spiritual blessings chapter xiii. faith strengthened by exercise. . a want supplied--resources exceeding the demand--evil of suretyship--power of christian love--god's word the food of the soul--preparation for the hour of trial--poverty--depending only on the living god chapter xiv. walking in darkness. - . "god's way leads into trial"--grounds of thankfulness--protracted darkness--cast down, but not destroyed--trust in god commended--the means of its attainment--review of the work chapter xv. prosperity. - . abundant supplies--resting on the written word--"seeking and finding"--erroneous impressions removed--persevering and prevailing prayer answered--"lengthening the cords and strengthening the stakes"--a fourth orphan house chapter xvi. stewardship. . earthly and heavenly treasures--seeking the kingdom of god--fellowship with the father--the christian merchant--examples--mistakes chapter xvii. reaping bountifully. - . an unexpected request--deliberation--a great undertaking--reliance on the resources of the living god--an answer expected and received--prayer for faith and patience--further proofs of divine favor--the blessedness of devising liberal things chapter xviii. faith confirmed by prosperity. - . the spirit of supplication bestowed and prayer answered--the time of man's need and of god's bounty--faith not shaken--dealing only with god--the needed amount furnished--perpetual "need"--not weary in god's work--joy in answered prayer--four requests granted--"continuing instant in prayer"--the building commenced--personal history--a marked deliverance chapter xix. continued mercies. - . humble beginnings--devising liberal things--the orphans provided for--a memorable day--money "at interest"--means from an unexpected source--the progress of the new orphan house--means provided for its completion--inexpressible delight in god--review of the two years past chapter xx. a new victory of faith. - . past mercies an encouragement to new undertakings--a house for seven hundred orphans proposed--walking by faith--counsel sought from god--the purpose formed--delight in the magnitude and difficulty of the design chapter xxi. unvarying prosperity. - . desires for more enlarged usefulness gratified--a large donation anticipated and received--review of --personal experience--building fund for the second new orphan house--doubt resisted--waiting on god not in vain--review of chapter xxii. reaping in joy. - . expecting great things from god--munificent donation--increasing usefulness of the scriptural knowledge institution--access to god through faith in christ--a voice from mount lebanon--benefit of waiting god's time--careful stewardship--faith, the only reliance--"this poor widow hath cast in more than they all"--greater achievements of faith anticipated--counsel to tract distributors--a new and severe trial of faith chapter xxiii. three years of prosperity. - . the site selected--six thousand orphans in prison--how to ask for daily bread--review of twenty-four years--"take no thought for the morrow"--insurance against bad debts chapter xxiv. conclusion. - . the house for four hundred opened--prayer more than answered--the resort in trouble--an outpouring of the spirit on the orphans--land for a new building purchased--"but one life to spend for god"--"scattering, yet increasing"--a memorable year--the germ of the irish revival--letter from an orphan--the fruit of six months' prayer--the results of the work--revival among the orphans appendix introduction. what is meant by the prayer of faith? is a question which is beginning to arrest, in an unusual degree, the attention of christians. what is the significance of the passages both in the new testament and the old which refer to it? what is the limit within which they may be safely received as a ground of practical reliance? were these promises limited to prophetical or apostolical times; or have they been left as a legacy to all believers until the end shall come? somehow or other, these questions are seldom discussed either from the pulpit or the press. i do not remember to have heard any of them distinctly treated of in a sermon. i do not know of any work in which this subject is either theoretically explained or practically enforced. it really seems as if this portion of revelation was, by common consent, ignored in all our public teachings. do not men believe that god means what he appears plainly to have asserted? or, if we believe that he means it, do we fear the charge of fanaticism if we openly avow that we take him at his word? the public silence on this subject does not, however, prevent a very frequent private inquiry in respect to it. the thoughtful christian, when in his daily reading of the scriptures he meets with any of those wonderful promises made to believing prayer, often pauses to ask himself, what can these words mean? can it be that god has made such promises as these to me, and to such men as i am? have i really permission to commit all my little affairs to a god of infinite wisdom, believing that he will take charge of them and direct them according to the promptings of boundless love and absolute omniscience? is prayer really a power with god, or is it merely an expedient by which our own piety may be cultivated? is it not merely a power (that is, a stated antecedent accompanied by the idea of causation), but is it a transcendent power, accomplishing what no other power can, over-ruling all other agencies, and rendering them subservient to its own wonderful efficiency? i think there are few devout readers of the bible to whom these questions are not frequently suggested. we ask them, but we do not often wait for an answer. these promises seem to us to be addressed either to a past or to a coming age, but not to us, at the present day. yet with such views as these the devout soul is not at all satisfied. if an invaluable treasure is here reserved for the believer, he asks, why should i not receive my portion of it? he cannot doubt that god has in a remarkable manner, at various times, answered his prayers; why should he not always answer them? and why should not the believer always draw near to god in full confidence that he will do as he has said? he may remember that the prayer which has been manifestly answered was the offspring of deep humility, of conscious unworthiness, of utter self-negation, and of simple and earnest reliance on the promises of god through the mediation of christ. why should not his prayers be always of the same character? with the apostles of old he pours out his soul in the petition, "lord, increase our faith." and yet it can scarcely be denied that the will of god has been distinctly revealed on this subject. the promises made to believing prayer are explicit, numerous, and diversified. if we take them in their simple and literal meaning, or if in fact we give to them any reasonable interpretation whatever, they seem to be easily understood. our difficulty seems to be this: the promise is so "exceeding great" that we cannot conceive god really to mean what he clearly appears to have revealed. the blessing seems too vast for our comprehension; we "stagger at the promises, through unbelief," and thus fail to secure the treasure which was purchased for us by christ jesus. it may be appropriate for us to review some of the passages which refer most directly to this subject:-- "ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for _every one_ that asketh receiveth, and he that seeketh findeth, and to him that knocketh _it shall_ be opened." "if ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, _how much more_ shall your father which is in heaven give good things to them that _ask_ him."[ ] [footnote : matthew vii. - .] in the gospel of luke the same words are repeated, with a single variation at the close. "if ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your heavenly father give the _holy spirit to them that ask him_."[ ] [footnote : luke xi. .] "i say unto you that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven. for where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am i in the midst of them."[ ] [footnote : matthew xviii. , .] "jesus answered and said unto them, verily i say unto you, if ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do that which is done to the fig-tree, but also ye shall say to this mountain, be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea, and it shall be done. and _all things whatsoever_ ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."[ ] [footnote : matthew xxi. , .] the same promise, slightly varied in form, is found in the gospel of mark. "_have faith in god._ for verily i say unto you that whosoever shall say to this mountain, be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea, and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he hath said shall come to pass, he shall have whatever he saith. therefore i say unto you, whatsoever things ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them."[ ] [footnote : mark xi. - .] now i do not pretend that we are obliged to receive these words literally. unless, however, we believe the saviour to have spoken repeatedly on the same subject, at random, and with no definite meaning, we must understand him to have asserted that things impossible by the ordinary laws of material causation are possible by faith in god. i do not perceive, if we allow these words to have any meaning whatever, that we can ascribe to them any other significance. "verily i say unto you, he that believeth in me, the works that i do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do, because i go unto my father. and whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that i will do, that the father may be glorified in the son. if ye shall ask anything in my name i will do it."[ ] [footnote : john xiv. - .] "verily i say unto you, whatsoever ye shall ask the father in my name, he will give it you. hitherto ye have asked nothing in my name. ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full."[ ] [footnote : john xvi. , .] "the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man _availeth much_;"[ ] that is, it is a real power, a positive energy. the apostle illustrates what he means by availing prayer by the example of elias, a man subject to like passions as we are: "he prayed earnestly that it might not rain, and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months; and he prayed again, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth brought forth her fruit."[ ] [footnote : james v. .] [footnote : james v. , .] the conditions on which prayer will be heard are in various places specified, but particularly in john xv. : "if ye abide in me and my words abide in you, ye shall _ask what ye will_, and it shall be done unto you." that is, if i understand the passage, prevalence in prayer is conditioned by the conformity of our souls to the will of god; "if ye abide in me and my words abide in you." on this condition, and on this only, may we ask what we will, with the assurance that it will be done unto us. faith, in its most simple meaning, is that temper of the mind in the creature which responds to every revealed perfection of the creator. just according to the degree in which this correspondence exists, is the promise made that we shall have whatsoever we ask. it is evident, from the eleventh of hebrews, that the views of the apostle paul concerning faith were entirely in harmony with the passages recited above. he reviews the lives of the most eminent saints, for the express purpose of showing that the impressive events in their history, whether physical or moral, were controlled entirely by faith. he sums up the whole in this remarkable language:-- "and what shall i say more? for the time would fail me to tell of those who _through faith_ subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens; women received their dead raised to life again; and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection." we are, i think, taught by this passage that the apostle believed faith to be a power capable of transcending and modifying every other agency, by which changes became possible which to every other known power were impossible. we see that in this catalogue of the victories of faith he includes the subjection of almost every form of what we call natural laws. the whole passage seems an illustration of the meaning of our lord, when he says, "if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say to this sycamine tree, be thou removed and planted in the midst of the sea, and it shall obey you." it seems then apparent that the doctrine of the peculiar and wonderful power of the prayer of faith is as clearly revealed in the scriptures as any other doctrine. it would seem evident, at any rate, from the passages just quoted, that the apostle paul understood the teachings of our saviour to mean what they say. from the general tenor of the scriptures i think we may learn two important truths: first, that there is a certain state of mind in a devout soul to which god has promised all that it asks, subject, however, as to the manner of the answer, to the dictates of his infinite wisdom and goodness; and, second, that in granting such petitions he does not always limit his action within the ordinary or acknowledged laws of matter or of mind. i do not perceive how we can interpret the passages above cited, as well as many others, without giving them a meaning at least as extensive as this. why is it, then, that this whole range of revealed truth has so generally been looked upon as an unknown and unexplored region? why should we limit either the goodness or the power of god by our own knowledge of what we call the laws of nature? why should we not admit that "there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed of in our philosophy"? in a universe governed by moral law, why should not moral laws take precedence of all others? why should we deny that there is a power in prayer to which we have not commonly attained? we are straitened in ourselves, and suppose that we are straitened in god. we interpret the gracious promises of our most loving father in heaven by the rule of our own imperfect and unbelieving piety. we ask for light from without, while the light can only come from a more elevated piety within. we ask for examples of the effects of faith at the present day, corresponding to those spoken of in the sacred scriptures. thoughtful men acknowledge that there must be a meaning in these promises, which they have not yet understood, and they see plainly that the kingdom of god can never come with power until this prevalence in prayer shall have become a matter of universal attainment; and yet they dare hardly believe that god is as good as he has revealed himself to be. there have, nevertheless, from time to time, occurred, what plainly appear to be, remarkable instances of answers to prayer. many of them have faded from recollection, with the generation in which they occurred; those which are remembered, however, seem to teach us that god is a living god now as truly as in times past. the history of persecutions is always filled with remarkable answers to prayer. the rescue of peter from the power of the sanhedrim in one case, and from the power of herod in another, has been a thousand times repeated in the history of the church of christ. the answer to prayer for divine direction as to the time and manner of performing some christian service, to which an individual has felt himself specially called, has frequently been very remarkable. the biographies of the early and of many of the later friends are replete with such instances. any one who will read the edifying memoirs of george fox, john woolman, william allen, and stephen grellet, will find what i have alluded to abundantly exemplified. the well-authenticated accounts of the late revivals in this country and in ireland teach us that most remarkable instances of answers to prayer were of almost daily occurrence. in the last century a single instance deserves particular remembrance; it was the founding of franke's orphan house at halle. it seemed to him to be a christian duty to attempt something for the relief of orphans, and he commenced the undertaking. from time to time, as the number of applicants increased, the means for their support was provided, in answer, as he firmly believed, to fervent and unceasing prayer. thus an extensive establishment was reared, which has continued to the present day, providing education and support for thousands of the poor and destitute, and it has been for a century and a half one of the most honored of the charitable institutions of the continent of europe. the most remarkable instance of the efficacy of prayer with which i am acquainted, is that recorded in the following pages. it seems, in fact, to be a practical illustration of the meaning of those passages of scripture which i have already recited. a young german christian, friendless and unknown, is conscious of what he believes to be a call from the lord to attempt something for the benefit of the poor vagabond children of bristol. he is at this time preaching the gospel to a small company of believers, from whom, at his own suggestion, he receives no salary, being supported day by day by the voluntary offerings of his brethren. without the promise of aid from any being but god, he commences his work. in answer to prayer, funds are received as they are needed, and the attempt succeeds beyond his expectation. after a few years he is led to believe that god has called him to establish a house for the maintenance and education of orphans. he was impelled to this effort, not only from motives of benevolence, but from a desire to convince men that god was a living god, as ready now as ever to answer prayer; and that, in the discharge of any duty to which he calls us, we may implicitly rely upon his all-sufficient aid in every emergency. mr. müller was led to undertake this work in such a manner that aid could not be expected from any being but god. he did not of course expect god to create gold and silver and put them into his hands. he knew, however, that god could incline the hearts of men to aid him, and he believed, if the thing that he attempted was of him, that he would so incline them, in answer to prayer, as his necessities should require. most men in making such an attempt would have spread the case before the public, employed agents to solicit in its behalf, and undertaken nothing until funds adequate to the success of the enterprise had been already secured. but mr. müller, true to his principles, would do no such thing. from the first day to the present moment he has neither directly nor indirectly solicited either of the public or of an individual a single penny. as necessities arose he simply laid his case before god and asked of him all that he needed, and the supply has always been seasonable and unfailing. the conductors of benevolent enterprises generally consider it important to publish the names of donors, appealing thus to what is considered an innocent desire in man to let our good deeds be known, and thus also to stimulate others to do likewise. ignoring every motive of this kind, mr. müller made it his rule to publish the name of no contributor. when the name was known to him, which, however, was not often the case, he made a private acknowledgment; while in his printed account he only made known the sum received, and the date of its reception. in this manner, forsaking every other reliance but god, and in childlike simplicity looking to him alone for the supply of every want, all that he needed was furnished as punctually as if, in possession of millions, he had drawn from time to time on his banker. thus has he continued from, i think, the year . by degrees the establishment increased, and it was necessary to leave the hired houses in which the children had thus far been accommodated. land was purchased, and a building was erected in the vicinity of bristol. this was soon filled to overflowing, and another building was demanded. this was erected, and it also was very soon filled. these buildings were sufficient to accommodate seven hundred orphans. at the present moment, a third building, larger than either, is in the process of erection, and is to be finished in the course of the ensuing summer. when this shall be completed, accommodations will have been provided for eleven hundred and fifty orphans. these expensive buildings have been erected; the land has been purchased on which they stand; this multitude of children has been clothed and fed and educated; support and remuneration have been provided for all the necessary teachers and assistants, and all this has been done by a man who is not worth a dollar. he has never asked any one but god for whatever they needed, and from the beginning they have never wanted a meal, nor have they ever allowed themselves to be in debt. there seems in this to be something as remarkable as if mr. müller had commanded a sycamine tree to be removed and planted in the sea, and it had obeyed him. but this is not all. mr. müller saw that there was a great demand for copies of the holy scriptures, both in great britain and on the continent, and he commenced the work of bible distribution. this so rapidly extended itself that he was soon obliged to open in bristol a large bible house. he believed that great good might be done by the circulation of religious tracts, and he has carried on this work extensively. he was moved to make an attempt to aid and even to support missionaries among the heathen, as well as other good men, of various denominations, who, with very inadequate means of living, were preaching the gospel to the poor and destitute at home. he began to aid them as their necessities came to his knowledge, and now one hundred such men are depending on him, wholly or in part, for support. here, then, we certainly behold a remarkable phenomenon. a single man, wholly destitute of funds, is supporting and educating seven hundred orphans, providing everything needful for their education, is in himself an extensive bible and tract and missionary society, the work is daily increasing in magnitude, and the means for carrying it on are abundantly supplied, while he is connected with no particular denomination, is aided by no voluntary association, and he has asked the assistance of not a single individual. he has asked no one but god, and all his wants have been regularly supplied. in these labors of love he has, up to the present time, expended nearly a million of dollars. it is thus that he has endeavored to show to an unbelieving world that god is a living god, and that he means what he has said in every one of his promises.[ ] [footnote : the following brief statistics will show the magnitude of the work already accomplished:-- the number of pupils hitherto instructed in all the day, evening, and sunday schools, is , . the whole number of _orphans_ educated within the establishment is , . of the now in the institution, are hopefully pious. missionaries aided at the present time, . since there have been circulated,--bibles, , ; testaments, , ; psalms, ; other portions of scripture, , ; or, total, , bibles or portions of scripture. tracts and books (not pages, but separate publications), , , . two large buildings have been erected, a third is in the process of erection; the land on which they stand has been purchased. the expense of the orphan work alone has amounted to £ , sterling, and the expenses are daily increasing. the contributions by which these expenditures have been met have been sent from every quarter of the globe. the largest amounts have been, as might be expected, from england, scotland, ireland, and wales; but to these may be added the cape of good hope, mt. lebanon, demerara, newport, r. i., new york, philadelphia, california, france, holland, sardinia, australia, etc., etc.] i have referred to mr. müller as if he were the sole agent in this work. this, however, is by no means true. his co-workers in the institution are all of the same spirit as himself. mr. craik, a gentleman from scotland, has been with him from the beginning, has shared in all the labors and responsibilities of these vast undertakings, and has been specially blessed as a preacher of the gospel. the remuneration of all the assistants is contingent on the means received in answer to prayer. when sacrifices are to be made, they are all prompt to make them, and they do not expect an answer to prayer until they have contributed, from their own scanty wages, whatever can be spared after providing for their actual necessities. the last report of mr. müller's labors has just been received. from this we learn another interesting fact. it seems that the late revival in ireland is indirectly connected with these labors in bristol. a pious young irishman read "the dealings of the lord with george müller," and received from it new views of the power of believing prayer. he felt the need of prayer for the perishing around him, and determined by prayer and conversation to labor for their salvation. first, however, he asked that god would give him an associate. this prayer was granted. these two then united in earnest prayer for some additions to their number. this prayer was granted. in this manner a small company was united in asking for an outpouring of the holy spirit on their neighborhood. they devoted themselves to prayer and to labor among the people by whom they were surrounded. their prayers were answered. the spirit was poured out; twenty-five souls were converted. multitudes united with them in supplication. they went from place to place, praying and laboring for the conversion of men; and thus the work extended, until the whole district of ulster was visited with that remarkable outpouring of the holy spirit. all these we suppose to be indisputable facts. if in any respect there has been a misstatement, or even an exaggeration, the means are abundant for detecting it. the whole work has been carried on in the presence and under the inspection of the whole city of bristol. there stand those large and expensive buildings. there are seen the seven hundred orphans who are in every respect admirably cared for. everything has been paid for, for mr. müller is never in debt. his poverty is well known, and he will not accept of any money as a provision for his future necessities. his accounts have been annually audited by a competent committee. there is not the man living who can contradict his assertion, "i never asked aid from a single individual." hundreds weekly visit the institution, and no one has ever found in it anything at variance with mr. müller's published statements. last of all, the rev. dr. sawtelle, a gentleman known to thousands in this country, has added his independent testimony to the truth of all that is here related. more conclusive evidence to the truth of facts cannot be desired. to account for a fact is to refer it to some general law whose existence is already established. when it is therefore asked, how shall these facts be accounted for? we inquire, to what known law can they be referred? they cannot certainly be referred to any known law of human action. how would we decide if a similar case should occur in physics? suppose a series of experiments should be made daily for twenty-five years in chemistry or mechanics, with the same invariable result, and this result could be referred to no previously established law,--to what conclusion should we arrive? there could be but one conclusion, in which all men of science would unite. they would all declare that a new law had been discovered, and would modify their systems accordingly. it seems to me that on all sound philosophical principles we are bound to come to the same conclusion in the present case. we can refer these facts to no other law than to that announced by the saviour in his promise to answer the prayer of faith. there is no reason to suppose that in the case of mr. müller and his associates there is anything exceptional or peculiar. what god has done for them we cannot doubt that, under the same conditions, he will do for every other believing disciple of christ. what, then, are the conditions of this remarkable experiment, if such we may call it? they are something like the following. a poor and unknown man is convinced that it is his duty, as a servant of christ, to labor in several ways for the relief of the temporal and spiritual wants of the ignorant and destitute. he consecrates himself to the work by dedicating to it his time and labor, and whatever pecuniary means should come into his possession. he resolved that he would neither appeal to any of the ordinary motives which dispose men to humanity, nor even solicit aid from any human being, but simply make his wants known to god, believing that, if he was doing the work of god, the divine promise was pledged in his behalf. not only did he trust in god that all the pecuniary aid which he needed would be furnished, but that, in answer to prayer, all needed wisdom would be given him in the conduct of his complicated and arduous undertakings. the result has met his most sanguine expectations. the institution has increased to a most magnificent charity, aside from its missionary, bible, and tract operations; all its wants have been from time to time supplied; and it is at the present moment carried on upon precisely the same principles on which it commenced. we cannot resist the conclusion that if any one will undertake any other christian work in a similar spirit, and on the same principles, his labor will be attended with a similar result. while we believe this, however, we do not pretend to affirm that just such immediate results will always be seen. this would be to limit the omniscience of god by the short-sighted ignorance of man. it may best suit the purposes of infinite goodness to answer the prayer of faith by crosses and disappointments; but these in the end shall be found in the most signal manner to promote the object to be accomplished. while the disciples were praying and laboring for the extension of the kingdom of christ in jerusalem, it seemed a strange answer to prayer that they should be driven out of the city; but the meaning of it was evident when churches arose in phenice and cyprus and antioch, and it became manifest that the gospel was designed not for jews alone; but for the whole family of man. paul devoted himself with unquenchable zeal to the salvation of men, and, with a fervid eloquence which has given him a place among the noblest orators of antiquity, delighted to spend his life in persuading men to be reconciled to god. he was a man whose confidence in god was as unshaken as any whose history has been recorded by the pen of inspiration. it doubtless was to the disciples of that age, as well as to himself, a most unaccountable dispensation that he should have been impeded in his great work by the necessity of composing dissensions and rectifying errors which were constantly arising in the churches which he had planted, and, most of all, that so many years of his life should have been spent in prison. yet it is to these, at the time untoward circumstances, that we owe the writing of those epistles which occupy so large a portion of the volume of inspiration, and without which the message of god to man would not have been completed. in no other way could his prayer to be useful to the cause of christ have been so fully answered. with this understanding of the promise granted to the prayer of faith, i do not see why we should not take the case of mr. müller as an example for our imitation. whoever attains to this same simple desire in all things to do the will of god, and to the same childlike trust in his promises, may, i think, hope for a similar blessing. god is no respecter of persons. "if _any_ man _do his will_, him he heareth." and all the teaching of the scriptures confirms us in this belief. the passages which we have quoted at the commencement of this paper, with hundreds of others, all lead to the same conclusion. in the scriptures every form of illustration is used to impress upon us the conviction that god is indeed our father, and that he delights to grant our requests for anything that is for our benefit, and specially that he pledges himself to direct by his counsel, and aid by his providence, every one who honestly labors to promote the cause of true benevolence and real religion. if this be so, how important is this subject in its bearing on individual effort. no christian, though the poorest and humblest, ever need despair of doing a noble work for god. he need never wait until he can obtain the co-operation of the multitude or the wealthy. let him undertake what he believes to be his duty, on ever so small a scale, and look directly to god for aid and direction. if it be a seed which god has planted, it will take root, grow, and bear fruit, "_having seed within itself_." "it is better to trust in god than to put confidence in man; it is better to trust in god than to put confidence in princes." a multitude of cases can be adduced to prove that this course is in harmony with the designs of god. it is abundantly shown in the case of mr. müller. take the case of robert raikes. suppose that he had established no school until a powerful association, formed from ecclesiastical dignitaries, millionaires, and the multitude, had united in his support, his effort could hardly have escaped ridiculous failure. on the contrary, he simply established a school by himself. it was a seed which god had planted, and its fruit now shakes like lebanon. on the contrast which is seen between the plan of mr. müller and the plans by which our missionary and other benevolent operations are conducted, it is unnecessary to enlarge. if mr. müller is right, i think it is evident that we are all wrong. we cannot go into this subject in detail. we may, however, be permitted to remark, that the means which are frequently employed to secure the approbation and pecuniary aid of worldly men, in carrying forward the cause of christ, are intensely humiliating. it would seem as though god was the last being to be relied on in carrying forward the work which he has given us to do. but it is time to bring these remarks to a close. we commend this most unpretending of narratives to the thoughtful consideration of christians of all denominations. we have greatly overrated the teaching of these facts, if they do not furnish strong incentives to a life of holy exertion, and impart an unwonted and powerful motive to earnest and believing prayer. providence, december , . the life of trust. chapter i. boyhood and youth. - . birth--early dishonesty--insensibility--confirmation in the state church--dissoluteness of life--the hard way of transgressors--the gymnasium at nordhausen--the university at halle--rovings. i was born at kroppenstaedt, near halberstadt, in the kingdom of prussia, september , . in january, , my parents removed to heimersleben, about four miles from kroppenstaedt, where my father was appointed collector in the excise. my father, who educated his children on worldly principles,[ ] gave us much money, considering our age. the result was, that it led me and my brother into many sins. before i was ten years old, i repeatedly took of the government money which was intrusted to my father, and which he had to make up; till one day, as he had repeatedly missed money, he detected my theft, by depositing a counted sum in the room where i was, and leaving me to myself for a while. being thus left alone, i took some of the money, and hid it under my foot in my shoe. when my father, after his return, had counted and missed the money, i was searched and my theft detected. [footnote : the opinion is often entertained that persons who become eminent for power in prayer and nearness of communion with god, owe their attainments to natural excellence of character, or to peculiarly favoring circumstances of early education. the narrative of the youth of müller exhibits the fallaciousness of this view, and shows that the attainments which he made are within the reach of any one who will "ask of god, that giveth to _all men liberally_ and upbraideth not."--ed.] when i was between ten and eleven years of age i was sent to halberstadt, there to be prepared for the university; for my father's desire was that i should become a clergyman; not, indeed, that thus i might serve god, but that i might have a comfortable living. my time was now spent in studying, reading novels, and indulging, though so young, in sinful practices. thus it continued till i was fourteen years old, when my mother was suddenly removed. the night she was dying, i, not knowing of her illness, was playing at cards till two in the morning, and on the next day, being the lord's day, i went with some of my companions in sin to a tavern, and then we went about the streets half intoxicated. this bereavement made no lasting impression on my mind. i grew worse and worse. three or four days before i was confirmed, and thus admitted to partake of the lord's supper, i was guilty of gross immorality; and the very day before my confirmation, when i was in the vestry with the clergyman to confess my sins, after a formal manner, i defrauded him; for i handed over to him only the twelfth part of the fee which my father had given me for him. in this state of heart, without prayer, without true repentance, without faith, without knowledge of the plan of salvation, i was confirmed, and took the lord's supper, on the sunday after easter, . yet i was not without some feeling about the solemnity of the thing, and stayed at home in the afternoon and evening, whilst the other boys and girls, who had been confirmed with me, walked about in the fields. my time till midsummer, , was spent partly in study, but in a great degree in playing the piano-forte and guitar, reading novels, frequenting taverns, forming resolutions to become different, yet breaking them almost as fast as they were made. my money was often spent on my sinful pleasures, through which i was now and then brought into trouble, so that once, to satisfy my hunger, i stole a piece of coarse bread, the allowance of a soldier who was quartered in the house where i lodged. at midsummer, , my father obtained an appointment at schoenebeck, near magdeburg, and i embraced the opportunity of entreating him to remove me to the cathedral classical school of magdeburg; for i thought that if i could but leave my companions in sin, and get out of certain snares, and be placed under other tutors, i should then live a different life. my father consented, and i was allowed to leave halberstadt, and to stay at heimersleben till michaelmas. being thus quite my own master, i grew still more idle, and lived as much as before in all sorts of sin. when michaelmas came, i persuaded my father to leave me at heimersleben till easter, and to let me read the classics with a clergyman living in the same place. i was now living on the premises belonging to my father, under little real control, and intrusted with a considerable sum of money, which i had to collect for my father, from persons who owed it to him. my habits soon led me to spend a considerable part of this money, giving receipts for different sums, yet leaving my father to suppose i had not received them. in november, i went on a pleasure excursion to magdeburg, where i spent six days in much sin, and though my absence from home had been found out by my father before i returned from thence, yet i took all the money i could obtain, and went to brunswick, after i had, through a number of lies, obtained permission from my tutor. i spent a week at brunswick, in an expensive hotel. at the end of the week my money was expended. i then went, without money, to another hotel, in a village near brunswick, where i spent another week in an expensive way of living. at last, the owner of the hotel, suspecting that i had no money, asked for payment, and i was obliged to leave my best clothes as security. i then walked about six miles, to wolfenbuttel, went to an inn, and began again to live as if i had plenty of money. on the second or third morning i went quietly out of the yard, and then ran off; but being suspected and observed, and therefore seen to go off, i was immediately called after, and so had to return. i was arrested, and being suspected to be a thief, was examined for about three hours, and then sent to jail. i now found myself, at the age of sixteen, an inmate of the same dwelling with thieves and murderers. i was locked up in this place day and night, without permission to leave my cell. i was in prison from dec. , , till january , , when the keeper told me to go with him to the police office. here i found that the commissioner before whom i had been tried, had acquainted my father with my conduct; and thus i was kept in prison till my father sent the money which was needed for my travelling expenses, to pay my debt in the inn, and for my maintenance in the prison. so ungrateful was i now for certain little kindnesses shown to me by a fellow-prisoner, that, although i had promised to call on his sister, to deliver a message from him, i omitted to do so; and so little had i been benefited by this, my chastisement, that, though i was going home to meet an angry father, only two hours after i had left the town where i had been imprisoned, i chose an avowedly wicked person as my travelling companion for a great part of my journey. my father, who arrived two days after i had reached heimersleben, after having severely beaten me, took me home to schoenebeck, intending, at easter, to send me to a classical school at halle, that i might be under strict discipline and the continual inspection of a tutor. easter came, and i easily persuaded him to let me stay at home till michaelmas. but after that period he would not consent to my remaining any longer with him, and i left home, pretending to go to halle to be examined. but having a hearty dislike to the strict discipline of which i had heard, i went to nordhausen, and had myself examined to be received into that school. i then went home, but never told my father a word of all this deception till the day before my departure, which obliged me to invent a whole chain of lies. he was then very angry; but at last, through my entreaties and persuasion, he gave way and allowed me to go. this was in october, . i continued at nordhausen two years and six months. during this time i studied with considerable diligence the latin classics, french, history, my own language, etc.; but did little in hebrew, greek, and the mathematics. i lived in the house of the director, and got, through my conduct, highly into his favor, so much so that i was held up by him in the first class as an example to the rest. i used now to rise regularly at four, winter and summer, and generally studied all the day, with little exception, till ten at night. but whilst i was thus outwardly gaining the esteem of my fellow-creatures, i did not care in the least about god, but lived secretly in much sin, in consequence of which i was taken ill, and for thirteen weeks confined to my room. during my illness i had no real sorrow of heart, yet, being under certain natural impressions of religion, i read through klopstock's works without weariness. i cared nothing about the word of god. i had about three hundred books of my own, but no bible. now and then i felt that i ought to become a different person, and i tried to amend my conduct, particularly when i went to the lord's supper, as i used to do twice every year, with the other young men. the day previous to attending that ordinance, i used to refrain from certain things; and on the day itself i was serious, and also swore once or twice to god, with the emblem of the broken body in my mouth, to become better, thinking that for the oath's sake i should be induced to reform. but after one or two days were over, all was forgotten, and i was as bad as before. at easter, , i became a member of the university of halle, and that with very honorable testimonials. i thus obtained permission to preach in the lutheran establishment; but i was as truly unhappy and as far from god as ever. i had made strong resolutions now at last to change my course of life, for two reasons: first, because, without it, i thought no parish would choose me as their pastor; and secondly, that without a considerable knowledge of divinity i should never get a good living. but the moment i entered halle, the university town, all my resolutions came to nothing. being now more than ever my own master, i renewed my profligate life afresh, though now a student of _divinity_. yet in the midst of it all i had a desire to renounce this wretched life, for i had no enjoyment in it, and had sense enough left to see that the end, one day or other, would be miserable. but i had no sorrow of heart on account of offending god. one day, when i was in a tavern with some of my wild fellow-students, i saw among them one of my former school-fellows, named beta, whom i had known four years before at halberstadt, but whom at that time i had despised, because he was so quiet and serious. it now appeared well to me to choose him as my friend, thinking that, if i could but have better companions, i should by that means improve my own conduct. "_cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm._" this beta was a backslider. when formerly he was so quiet at school, i have reason to believe it was because the spirit of god was working on his heart; but now, having departed from the lord, he tried to put off the ways of god more and more, and to enjoy the world of which he had known but little before. _i_ sought his friendship, because i thought it would lead me to a steady life; and _he_ gladly formed an acquaintance with me, as he told me afterwards, because he thought it would bring him into gay society. at the commencement of august, beta and i, with two other students, drove about the country for four days. when we returned, instead of being truly sorry on account of this sin, we thought of fresh pleasures; and as my love for travelling was stronger than ever, through what i had seen on this last journey, i proposed to my friends to set off for switzerland. the obstacles in the way, the want of money, and the want of the passports, were removed by _me_. for, through forged letters from our parents, we procured passports, and through pledging all we could, particularly our books, we obtained as much money as we thought would be enough. forty-three days we were day after day travelling, almost always on foot. i had now obtained the desire of my heart. i had seen switzerland. but still i was far from being happy. i was on this journey like judas; for, having the common purse, i was a thief. i managed so that the journey cost me but two thirds of what it cost my friends. i had, by many lies, to satisfy my father concerning the travelling expenses. during the three weeks i stayed at home, i determined to live differently for the future. i was different for a few days; but when the vacation was over, and fresh students came, and, with them, fresh money, all was soon forgotten. chapter ii. the prodigal's return. - . a treasure found--dawning of the new life--the peace of god--"i am come to set a man at variance against his father"--"let him that heareth say, come"--the first sermon--delight in the lord--a common error--the fountain neglected. the time was now come when god would have mercy upon me. at a time when i was as careless about him as ever, he sent his spirit into my heart. i had no bible, and had not read in it for years. i went to church but seldom; but, from custom, i took the lord's supper twice a year. i had never heard the gospel preached. i had never met with a person who told me that he meant, by the help of god, to live according to the holy scriptures. in short, i had not the least idea that there were any persons really different from myself, except in degree. on saturday afternoon, about the middle of november, , i had taken a walk with my friend beta. on our return he said to me that he was in the habit of going on saturday evenings to the house of a christian, where there was a meeting. on further inquiry, he told me that they read the bible, sang, prayed, and read a printed sermon. no sooner had i heard this than it was to me as if i had found something after which i had been seeking all my life long. we went together in the evening. as i did not know the manners of believers, and the joy they have in seeing poor sinners, even in any measure, caring about the things of god, i made an apology for coming. the kind answer of the dear brother i shall never forget. he said: "come as often as you please; house and heart are open to you." we sat down and sang a hymn. then brother kayser, now a missionary in africa, fell on his knees and asked a blessing on our meeting. this kneeling down made a deep impression upon me; for i had never either seen any one on his knees, nor had i ever myself prayed on my knees. he then read a chapter and a printed sermon; for no regular meetings for expounding the scriptures were allowed in prussia, except an ordained clergyman was present. at the close we sang another hymn, and then the master of the house prayed. whilst he prayed, my feeling was something like this: "i could not pray as well, though i am much more learned than this illiterate man." the whole made a deep impression on me. i was happy; though, if i had been asked why i was happy, i could not have clearly explained it. when we walked home, i said to beta: "all we have seen on our journey to switzerland, and all our former pleasures, are as nothing in comparison with this evening." whether i fell on my knees when i returned home, i do not remember; but this i know, that i lay peaceful and happy in my bed. this shows that the lord may begin his work in different ways. for i have not the least doubt that on that evening he began a work of grace in me, though i obtained joy without any deep sorrow of heart, and with scarcely any knowledge. but that evening was the turning-point in my life. the next day, and monday, and once or twice besides, i went again to the house of this brother, where i read the scriptures with him and another brother; for it was too long for me to wait till saturday came again. now my life became very different, though not so that all sins were given up at once. my wicked companions were given up; the going to taverns was entirely discontinued; the habitual practice of telling falsehoods was no longer indulged in; but still a few times after this i spoke an untruth. i read the scriptures, prayed often, loved the brethren, went to church from right motives, and stood on the side of christ, though laughed at by my fellow-students. in january, , i began to read missionary papers, and was greatly stirred up to become a missionary myself. i prayed frequently concerning this matter, and thus made more decided progress for a few weeks. about easter, , i saw a devoted young brother, named hermann ball, a learned man, and of wealthy parents, who, constrained by the love of christ, preferred laboring in poland among the jews as a missionary to having a comfortable living near his relations. his example made a deep impression on me. the lord smiled on me, and i was, for the first time in my life, able fully and unreservedly to give up myself to him. at this time i began truly to enjoy the peace of god which passeth all understanding. in my joy i wrote to my father and brother, entreating them to seek the lord, and telling them how happy i was; thinking that, if the way to happiness were but set before them, they would gladly embrace it. to my great surprise an angry answer was returned. about this period the lord sent a believer, dr. tholuck, as professor of divinity to halle, in consequence of which a few believing students came from other universities. thus also, through becoming acquainted with other brethren, the lord led me on. my former desire to give myself to missionary service returned, and i went at last to my father to obtain his permission, without which i could not be received into any of the german missionary institutions. my father was greatly displeased, and particularly reproached me, saying that he had expended so much money on my education, in hope that he might comfortably spend his last days with me in a parsonage, and that he now saw all these prospects come to nothing. he was angry, and told me he would no longer consider me as his son. but the lord gave me grace to remain steadfast. he then entreated me, and wept before me; yet even this by far harder trial the lord enabled me to bear. after i had left my father, though i wanted more money than at any previous period of my life, as i had to remain two years longer in the university, i determined never to take any more from him; for it seemed to me wrong, so far as i remember, to suffer myself to be supported by him, when he had no prospect that i should become what he would wish me to be, namely, a clergyman with a good living. this resolution i was enabled to keep. shortly after this had occurred, several american gentlemen, three of whom were professors in american colleges, came to halle for literary purposes, and, as they did not understand german, i was recommended by dr. tholuck to teach them. these gentlemen, some of whom were believers, paid so handsomely for the instruction which i gave them, and for the lectures of certain professors which i wrote out for them, that i had enough and to spare. thus did the lord richly make up to me the little which i had relinquished for his sake. "_o fear the lord, ye his saints; for there is no want to them that fear him._" whitsuntide, and the two days following, i spent in the house of a pious clergyman in the country; for all the ministers at halle, a town of more than twenty thousand inhabitants, were unenlightened men. god greatly refreshed me through this visit. dear beta was with me. on our return we related to two of our former friends, whose society we had not quite given up, though we did not any longer live with them in sin, how happy we had been on our visit. i then told them how i wished they were as happy as ourselves. they answered, we do not feel that we are sinners. after this i fell on my knees, and asked god to show them that they were sinners. having done so, i went into my bedroom, where i continued to pray for them. after a little while, i returned to my sitting-room and found them both in tears, and both told me that they now felt themselves to be sinners. from that time a work of grace commenced in their hearts. though very weak and ignorant, yet i had now, by the grace of god, some desire to benefit others, and he who so faithfully had once served satan, sought now to win souls for christ. i circulated every month about three hundred missionary papers. i also distributed a considerable number of tracts, and often took my pockets full in my walks, and distributed them, and spoke to poor people whom i met. i also wrote letters to some of my former companions in sin. i visited, for thirteen weeks, a sick man, who, when i first began to speak to him about the things of god, was completely ignorant of his state as a sinner, trusting for salvation in his upright and moral life. after some weeks, however, the lord allowed me to see a decided change in him, and he afterwards repeatedly expressed his gratitude that i had been sent to him by god to be the means of opening his blind eyes. having heard that there was a schoolmaster living in a village about six miles from halle, who was in the habit of holding a prayer meeting at four o'clock every morning, with the miners, before they went into the pit, giving them also an address, i thought he was a believer; and as i knew so very few brethren, i went to see him, in order, if it might be, to strengthen his hands. about two years afterwards, he told me that when i came to him first he knew not the lord, but that he had held these prayer meetings merely out of kindness to a relative, whose office it was, but who had gone on a journey; and that those addresses which he had read were not his own, but copied out of a book. he also told me that he was much impressed with my kindness, and what he considered condescension on my part in coming to see him, and this, together with my conversation, had been instrumental in leading him to care about the things of god, and i knew him ever afterwards as a true brother. this schoolmaster asked me whether i would not preach in his parish, as the aged clergyman would be very glad of my assistance. up to this time i had never preached; yet i thought that by taking a sermon, or the greater part of one, written by a spiritual man, and committing it to memory, i might benefit the people. i set about putting a printed sermon into a suitable form, and committing it to memory. there is no joy in man's own doings and choosings. i got through it, but had no enjoyment in the work. it was on august , , at eight in the morning, in a chapel of ease. there was one service more, in the afternoon, at which i needed not to have done anything; but having a desire to serve the lord, though i often knew not how to do it scripturally, and knowing that this aged and unenlightened clergyman had had this living for forty-eight years, and having therefore reason to believe that the gospel scarcely ever had been preached in that place, i had it in my heart to preach again in the afternoon. it came to my mind to read the fifth chapter of matthew, and to make such remarks as i was able. i did so. immediately upon beginning to expound "blessed are the poor in spirit," etc., i felt myself greatly assisted; and whereas in the morning my sermon had not been simple enough for the people to understand it, i now was listened to with the greatest attention, and i think was also understood. my own peace and joy were great. i felt this a blessed work. on my way to halle i thought, this is the way i should like always to preach. but then it came immediately to my mind that such sort of preaching might do for illiterate country people, but that it never would do before a well-educated assembly in town. i thought the truth ought to be preached at all hazards, but it ought to be given in a different form, suited to the hearers. thus i remained unsettled in my mind as it regards the mode of preaching; and it is not surprising that i did not then see the truth concerning this matter, for i did not understand the work of the spirit, and therefore saw not the powerlessness of human eloquence. further, i did not keep in mind that if the most illiterate persons in the congregation can comprehend the discourse, the most educated will understand it too; but that the reverse does not hold true. it was not till three years afterwards that i was led, through grace, to see what i now consider the right mode of preparation for the public preaching of the word. but about this, if god permit, i will say more when i come to that period of my life. it was about this time that i formed the plan of exchanging the university of halle for that of berlin, on account of there being a greater number of believing professors and students in the latter place. but the whole plan was formed without prayer, or at least without earnest prayer. when, however, the morning came on which i had to apply for the university testimonials, the lord graciously stirred me up prayerfully to consider the matter; and finding that i had no sufficient reason for leaving halle, i gave up the plan, and have never had reason to regret having done so. the public means of grace by which i could be benefited were very few. though i went regularly to church when i did not preach myself, yet i scarcely ever heard the truth; for there was no enlightened clergyman in the town. and when it so happened that i could hear dr. tholuck, or any other godly minister, the prospect of it beforehand, and the looking back upon it afterwards, served to fill me with joy. _now and then i walked ten or fifteen miles to enjoy this privilege._ another means of grace which i attended, besides the saturday-evening meetings in brother wagner's house, was a meeting every lord's-day evening with the believing students, six or more in number, increased, before i left halle, to about twenty. in these meetings, one or two, or more, of the brethren prayed, and we read the scriptures, sang hymns, and sometimes also one or another of the brethren spoke a little in the way of exhortation, and we read also such writings of godly men as were calculated for edification. i was often greatly stirred up and refreshed in these meetings; and twice, being in a backsliding state, and therefore cold and miserable, i opened my heart to the brethren, and was brought out of that state through the means of their exhortations and prayers. as to the other means of grace, i would say, i fell into the snare into which so many young believers fall, the reading of religious books in preference to the scriptures. i read tracts, missionary papers, sermons, and biographies of godly persons. i never had been at any time of my life in the habit of reading the holy scriptures. when under fifteen years of age, i occasionally read a little of them at school; afterwards god's precious book was entirely laid aside, so that i never read one single chapter of it till it pleased god to begin a work of grace in my heart. now the scriptural way of reasoning would have been: god himself has consented to be an author, and i am ignorant about that precious book, which his holy spirit has caused to be written through the instrumentality of his servants, and it contains that which i ought to know, the knowledge of which will lead me to true happiness; therefore i ought to read again and again this most precious book of books, most earnestly, most prayerfully, and with much meditation; and in this practice i ought to continue all the days of my life. but instead of acting thus, my difficulty in understanding it, and the little enjoyment i had in it, made me careless of reading it; and thus, like many believers, i practically preferred, for the first four years of my divine life, the works of uninspired men to the oracles of the living god. the consequence was, that i remained a babe, both in knowledge and grace. the last and most important means of grace, prayer, was comparatively but little used by me. i prayed, and prayed often, and in general, by the grace of god, with sincerity; but had i prayed as earnestly as i have of late years, i should have made much more rapid progress. chapter iii. self-dedication. - . desire for missionary labor--providential release from military service--visit at home--led to the land of his future labors--progress in religious knowledge--desire for immediate usefulness. in august, , i heard that the continental society in england intended to send a minister to bucharest, the residence of many nominal german christians, to help an aged brother in the work of the lord. after consideration and prayer, i offered myself for this work to professor tholuck, who was requested to look out for a suitable individual; for with all my weakness i had a great desire to live wholly for god. most unexpectedly my father gave his consent, though bucharest was above a thousand miles from my home, and as completely a missionary station as any other. i now prepared with earnestness for the work of the lord. i set before me the sufferings which might await me. and he who once so fully served satan was now willing, constrained by the love of christ, rather to suffer affliction for the sake of jesus than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season. i also prayed with a degree of earnestness concerning my future work. one day, at the end of october, the above-mentioned brother, hermann ball, missionary to the jews, stated that he feared, on account of his health, he should be obliged to give up laboring among the jews. when i heard this, i felt a peculiar desire to fill up his place. about this very time, also, i became exceedingly fond of the hebrew language, which i had cared about very little up to that time, and which i had merely studied now and then, from a sense of duty. but now i studied it, for many weeks, with the greatest eagerness and delight. whilst i thus from time to time felt a desire to fill up brother ball's place, and whilst i thus greatly delighted in the study of hebrew, i called, in the evening of november , on dr. tholuck. in the course of conversation he asked me whether i had ever had a desire to be a missionary to the jews, as i might be connected with the london missionary society for promoting christianity among them, for which he was an agent. i was struck with the question, and told him what had passed in my mind, but added that it was not proper to think anything about that, as i was going to bucharest; to which he agreed. when i came home, however, these few words were like fire within me. the next morning i felt all desire for going to bucharest gone, which appeared to me very wrong and fleshly, and i therefore entreated the lord to restore to me the former desire for laboring on that missionary station. he graciously did so almost immediately. my earnestness in studying hebrew, and my peculiar love for it, however, continued. about ten days after, dr. tholuck received a letter from the continental. society, stating, that on account of the war between the turks and russians, it appeared well to the committee for the time being to give up the thought of sending a minister to bucharest, as it was the seat of war between the two armies. dr. tholuck then asked me again what i now thought about being a missionary to the jews. my reply was that i could not then give an answer, but that i would let him know, after i had prayerfully considered the matter. after prayer and consideration, and consulting with experienced brethren, in order that they might probe my heart as to my motives, i came to this conclusion, that i ought to offer myself to the committee, leaving it with the lord to do with me afterwards as it might seem good in his sight. accordingly, dr. tholuck wrote, about the beginning of december, , to the committee in london. it was not before march, , that he received an answer from london respecting me, in which the committee put a number of questions to me, on the satisfactory answers to which my being received by them would depend. after replying to this first communication, i waited daily for an answer, and was so much the more desirous of having it, as my course in the university was completed. at last, on june , i received a letter from london, stating that the committee had determined to take me as a missionary student for six months on probation, provided that i would come to london. i had now had the matter before me about seven months, having supposed not only that it would have been settled in a few weeks, but also, that, if i were accepted, i should be sent out immediately, as i had passed the university. instead of this, not only seven months passed over before the decision came, but i was also expected to come to london; and not only so, but though i had from my infancy been more or less studying, and now at last wished actively to be engaged, it was required that i should again become a student. for a few moments, therefore, i was greatly disappointed and tried. but on calmly considering the matter, it appeared to me but right that the committee should know me personally, and that it was also well for me to know them more intimately than merely by correspondence, as this afterwards would make our connection much more comfortable. i determined, therefore, after i had seen my father, and found no difficulty on his part, to go to london. there was, however, an obstacle in the way of my leaving the country. every prussian male subject is under the necessity of being for three years a soldier, provided his state of body allows it; but those who have had a classical education up to a certain degree, and especially those who have passed the university, need to be only one year in the army, but have to equip and maintain themselves during that year. i could not obtain a passport out of the country till i had either served my time or had been exempted by the king himself. the latter i hoped would be the case; for it was a well-known fact that those who had given themselves to missionary service had always been exempted. certain brethren of influence, living in the capital, to whom i wrote on the subject, wrote to the king; but he replied that the matter must be referred to the ministry and to the law, and no exception was made in my favor. my chief concern now was how i might obtain a passport for england, through exemption from military duty. but the more certain brethren tried, though they knew how to set about the matter, and were also persons of rank, the greater difficulty there appeared to be in obtaining my object; so that in the middle of january, , it seemed as if i must immediately become a soldier. there was now but one more way untried, and it was at last resorted to. a believing major, who was on good terms with one of the chief generals, proposed that i should actually offer myself for entering the army, and that then i should be examined as to my bodily qualifications, in the hope that, as i was still in a very weak state of body, i should be found unfit for military service. in that case it would belong to the chief general finally to settle the matter; who, being a godly man himself, on the major's recommendation, would, no doubt, hasten the decision, on account of my desire to be a missionary to the jews. thus far the lord had allowed things to go, to show me, it appears, that all my friends could not procure me a passport till his time was come. but now it was come. the king of kings had intended that i should go to england, because he would bless me there and make me a blessing, though i was at that time, and am still, most unworthy of it; and, therefore, though the king of prussia had not been pleased to make an exemption in my favor, yet now all was made plain, and that at a time when hope had almost been given up, and when the last means had been resorted to. i was examined, and was declared to be unfit for military service. with a medical certificate to this effect, and a letter of recommendation from the major, i went to this chief general, who received me very kindly, and who himself wrote instantaneously to a second military physician, likewise to examine me _at once_. this was done, and it was by him confirmed that i was unfit. now, the chief general himself, as his adjutants happened to be absent, in order to hasten the matter, wrote, with his own hands, the papers which were needed, and i got a complete dismissal, and that for life, from all military engagements. on february i arrived at my father's house; it was the place where i had lived as a boy, and the scene of many of my sins, my father having now returned to it after his retirement from office. there were but three persons in the whole town with whom my soul had any fellowship. one of them was earning his daily bread by thrashing corn. as a boy i had in my heart laughed at him. now i sought him out, having been informed that he was a brother, to acknowledge him as such, by having fellowship with him, and attending a meeting in his house on the lord's-day evening. my soul was refreshed, and his also. such a spiritual feast as meeting with a brother was a rare thing to him. i left my father's house on february , and about february arrived at rotterdam. my going to england by the way of rotterdam was not the usual way; but, consulting with a brother in berlin, who had been twice in england, i was told that this was the cheapest route. my asking this brother, to be profited by his experience, would have been quite right, had i, besides this, like ezra, sought of the lord the right way.[ ] but i sought unto men only, and not at all unto the lord, in this matter. when i came to rotterdam, i found that no vessels went at that time from that port to london, on account of the ice having just broken up in the river. thus i had to wait nearly a month at rotterdam, and needed much more time than i should have required to go by way of hamburg, and also much more money. [footnote : then i proclaimed a fast, to seek of god a right way for us, and for our little ones, and for all our substance.--ezra viii. .] on march , , i landed in london. soon after my arrival, i heard one of the brethren speak of mr. groves, a dentist, who, for the lord's sake, had given up his profession, which brought him in at least £ , [ ] a year, and who intended to go as a missionary to persia, with his wife and children, simply trusting in the lord for temporal supplies. this made such an impression on me, and delighted me so, that i not only marked it down in my journal, but also wrote about it to my german friends. [footnote : to avoid the necessity of reducing the sums named to federal money, it may be stated that a pound (£.) is equal to about $ . , a sovereign to the same, a shilling (s.) to about cts. and a penny (d.) to cts. for convenience of computation, when exactness is not required, we may call the pound $ . , and the shilling cts.--ed.] i came to england weak in body, and, in consequence of much study, as i suppose, i was taken ill on may , and was soon, at least in my own estimation, apparently beyond recovery. the weaker i became in body, the happier i was in spirit. never in my whole life had i seen myself so vile, so guilty, so altogether what i ought not to have been, as at this time. it was as if every sin of which i had been guilty was brought to my remembrance; but at the same time i could realize that all my sins were completely forgiven,--that i was washed and made clean, completely clean, in the blood of jesus. the result of this was great peace. i longed exceedingly to depart and be with christ. when my medical attendant came to see me, my prayer was something like this: "lord, thou knowest that he does not know what is for my real welfare, therefore do thou direct him." when i took my medicine, my hearty prayer each time was something like this: "lord, thou knowest that this medicine is in itself nothing, no more than as if i were to take a little water. now please, o lord, to let it produce the effect which is for my real welfare, and for thy glory. let me either be taken soon to thyself, or let me be soon restored; let me be ill for a longer time, and then taken to thyself, or let me be ill for a longer time, and then restored. o lord, do with me as seemeth thee best!" after i had been ill about a fortnight, my medical attendant unexpectedly pronounced me better. as i recovered but slowly, my friends entreated me to go into the country for change of air. i thought that it might be the will of god that i should do so, and i prayed therefore thus to the lord: "lord, i will gladly submit myself to thy will, and go, if thou wilt have me to go. and now let me know thy will by the answer of my medical attendant. if, in reply to my question, he says it would be very good for me, i will go; but if he, says it is of no great importance, then i will stay." when i asked him, he said that it was the best thing i could do. i was then enabled willingly to submit, and accordingly went to teignmouth. a few days after my arrival at teignmouth, the chapel, called ebenezer, was reopened, and i attended the opening. i was much impressed by one of those who preached on the occasion. for though i did not like all he said, yet i saw a gravity and solemnity in him different from the rest. after he had preached, i had a great desire to know more of him; and, being invited by two brethren of exmouth, in whose house he was staying, to spend some time with them, i had an opportunity of living ten days with him under the same roof. it was at this time that god began to show me that his word alone is our standard of judgment in spiritual things; that it can be explained only by the holy spirit; and that in our day, as well as in former times, he is the teacher of his people. the office of the holy spirit i had not experimentally understood before that time. indeed, of the office of each of the blessed persons, in what is commonly called the trinity, i had no experimental apprehension. i had not before seen from the scriptures that the father chose us before the foundation of the world; that in him that wonderful plan of our redemption originated, and that he also appointed all the means by which it was to be brought about. further, that the son, to save us, had fulfilled the law, to satisfy its demands, and with it also the holiness of god; that he had borne the punishment due to our sins, and had thus satisfied the justice of god. and, further, that the holy spirit alone can teach us about our state by nature, show us the need of a saviour, enable us to believe in christ, explain to us the scriptures, help us in preaching, etc. it was my beginning to understand this latter point in particular which had a great effect on me; for the lord enabled me to put it to the test of experience, by laying aside commentaries, and almost every other book, and simply reading the word of god and studying it. the result of this was, that the first evening that i shut myself into my room, to give myself to prayer and meditation over the scriptures, i learned more in a few hours than i had done during a period of several months previously. _but the particular difference was, that i received real strength for my soul in doing so._ i now began to try by the test of the scriptures the things which i had learned and seen, and found that only those principles which stood the test were really of value. my stay in devonshire was most profitable to my soul. my prayer had been, before i left london, that the lord would be pleased to bless my journey to the benefit of my body and soul. in the beginning of september i returned to london, much better in body; and as to my soul, the change was so great that it was like a second conversion. after my return to london, i sought to benefit my brethren in the seminary, and the means which i used were these: i proposed to them to meet together every morning from six to eight for prayer and reading the scriptures; and that then each of us should give out what he might consider the lord had shown him to be the meaning of the portion read. one brother in particular was brought into the same state as myself; and others, i trust, were more or less benefited. several times, when i went to my room after family prayer in the evening, i found communion with god so sweet that i continued in prayer till after twelve, and then, being full of joy, went into the room of the brother just referred to; and finding him also in a similar frame of heart, we continued praying until one or two; and even then i was a few times so full of joy that i could scarcely sleep, and at six in the morning again called the brethren together for prayer. after i had been for about ten days in london, and had been confined to the house on account of my studies, my health began again to decline; and i saw that it would not be well, my poor body being only like a wreck or brand brought out of the devil's service, to spend my little remaining strength in study, but that i now ought to set about actual engagement in the lord's work. i wrote to the committee of the society, requesting them to send me out at once; and, that they might do so more comfortably, to send me as a fellow-laborer with an experienced brother. however, i received no answer. after having waited about five or six weeks, in the mean time seeking, in one way or other, to labor for the lord, it struck me that, considering myself called by the lord to preach the gospel, i ought to begin at once to labor among the jews in london, whether i had the title of missionary or not. in consequence of this, i distributed tracts among the jews, with my name and residence written on them, thus inviting them to conversation about the things of god; preached to them in those places where they most numerously collect together; read the scriptures regularly with about fifty jewish boys; and became a teacher in a sunday school. in this work i had much enjoyment, and the honor of being reproached and ill-treated for the name of jesus. but the lord gave me grace, never to be kept from the work by any danger, or the prospect of any suffering. mr. müller was led, toward the close of , to doubt the propriety of continuing under the patronage of the london society. it seemed to him unscriptural for a servant of christ to put himself under the control and direction of any one but the lord. a correspondence with the society, evincing on his part, and on their part, entire kindness and love, resulted in a dissolution of his relation to them. he was left free to preach the gospel wherever providence might open the way. on december , i went to exmouth, where i intended to spend a fortnight in the house of some christian friends. i arrived at exmouth on december , at six in the evening, an hour before the commencement of a prayer-meeting at ebenezer chapel. my heart was burning with a desire to tell of the lord's goodness to my soul. being, however, not called on, either to speak or pray, i was silent. the next morning, i spoke on the difference between being _a christian_ and _a happy christian_, and showed whence it generally comes that we rejoice so little in the lord. this, my first testimony, was blessed to many believers, that god, as it appears, might show me that he was with me. at the request of several believers, i spoke again in the afternoon, and also proposed a meeting in the chapel every morning at ten, to expound the epistle to the romans. the second day after my arrival, a brother said to me, "i have been praying for this month past that the lord would do something for lympstone, a large parish where there is little spiritual light. there is a wesleyan chapel, and i doubt not you would be allowed to preach there." being ready to speak of jesus wherever the lord might open a door, yet so that i could be faithful to the truths which he had been pleased to teach me, i went, and easily obtained liberty to preach twice on the next day, being the lord's day. chapter iv. leaning on jesus. - . a door opened--tokens for good--trust exercised in the study and ministry of the word--the sword of the spirit--trusting in god for daily bread--blessedness of waiting upon the lord--"owe no man"--"according to your faith be it unto you"--the gift of faith, and the grace of faith. after i had preached about three weeks at exmouth and its neighborhood, i went to teignmouth, with the intention of staying there ten days, to preach the word among the brethren with whom i had become acquainted during the previous summer, and to tell them of the lord's goodness to me. in the evening, monday, i preached for brother craik, at shaldon, in the presence of three ministers, none of whom liked the sermon; yet it pleased god, through it, to bring to the knowledge of his dear son a young woman. how differently does the lord judge from man! here was a particular opportunity for the lord to get glory to himself. a foreigner was the preacher, with great natural obstacles in the way, for he was not able to speak english with fluency; but he had a desire to serve god, and was by this time also brought into such a state of heart as to desire that god alone should have the glory, if any good were done through his instrumentality. on tuesday evening, i preached at ebenezer chapel, teignmouth, the same chapel at the opening of which i became acquainted with the brother whom the lord had afterwards used as an instrument of benefiting me so much. during the week ensuing, mr. m. preached almost daily at the same place, a blessing attending his labors. by this time, the request that i might stay at teignmouth, and be the minister of the above chapel, had been repeatedly expressed by an increasing number of the brethren; but others were decidedly against my remaining there. this opposition was instrumental in settling it in my mind that i should stay for a while, at least until i was formally rejected. i preached again three times on the lord's day, none saying we wish you not to preach, though many of the hearers did not hear with enjoyment. some of them left, and never returned; some left, but returned after a while. others came to the chapel who had not been in the habit of attending there previous to my coming. there was a great stir, a spirit of inquiry, and a searching of the scriptures, whether these things were so. and, what is more than all, god set his seal upon the work, in converting sinners. twelve weeks i stood in this same position, whilst the lord graciously supplied my temporal wants, through two brethren, unasked for. after this time, the whole little church, eighteen in number, unanimously gave me an invitation to become their pastor. they offered to supply my temporal wants by giving me fifty-five pounds a year, which sum was afterwards somewhat increased, on account of the increase of the church. that which i now considered the best mode of preparation for the public ministry of the word, no longer adopted from necessity, on account of want of time, but from deep conviction, and from the experience of god's blessing upon it, both as it regards my own enjoyment, the benefit of the saints, and the conversion of sinners, is as follows: first, i do not presume to know myself what is best for the hearers, and i therefore ask the lord, in the first place, that he would graciously be pleased to teach me on what subject i shall speak, or what portion of his word i shall expound. now, sometimes it happens that, previous to my asking him, a subject or passage has been in my mind, on which it has appeared well for me to speak. in that case, i ask the lord whether i should speak on this subject or passage. if, after prayer, i feel persuaded that i should, i fix upon it, yet so that i would desire to leave myself open to the lord to change it if he please. frequently, however, it occurs that i have no text or subject in my mind, before i give myself to prayer for the sake of ascertaining the lord's will concerning it. in this case, i wait some time on my knees for an answer, trying to listen to the voice of the spirit to direct me. if, then, a passage or subject, whilst i am on my knees, or after i have finished praying for a text, is brought to my mind, i again ask the lord, and that sometimes repeatedly, especially if, humanly speaking, the subject or text should be a peculiar one, whether it be his will that i should speak on such a subject or passage. if, after prayer, my mind is peaceful about it, i take this to be the text, but still desire to leave myself open to the lord for direction, should he please to alter it, or should i have been mistaken. frequently, also, in the third place, it happens that i not only have no text nor subject on my mind previous to my praying for guidance in this matter, but also i do not obtain one after once, or twice, or more times praying about it. i used formerly at times to be much perplexed when this was the case, but, for more than twenty years, it has pleased the lord, in general at least, to keep me in peace about it. what i do is, to go on with my regular reading of the scriptures, where i left off the last time, praying (whilst i read) for a text, now and then also laying aside my bible for prayer, till i get one. thus it has happened that i have had to read five, ten, yea, twenty chapters, before it has pleased the lord to give me a text; yea, many times i have even had to go to the place of meeting without one, and obtained it, perhaps, only a few minutes before i was going to speak; but i have never lacked the lord's assistance at the time of preaching, provided i had earnestly sought it in private. the preacher cannot know the particular state of the various individuals who compose the congregation, nor what they require, but the lord knows it; and if the preacher renounces his own wisdom, he will be assisted by the lord; but if he will choose in his own wisdom, then let him not be surprised if he should see little benefit result from his labors. before i leave this part of the subject, i would just observe one temptation concerning the choice of a text. we may see a subject to be so very full that it may strike us it would do for some other occasion. for instance, sometimes a text brought to one's mind for a week-evening meeting may appear more suitable for the lord's day, because then there would be a greater number of hearers present. now, in the first place, we do not know whether the lord ever will allow us to preach on another lord's day; and, in the second place, we know not whether that very subject may not be especially suitable for some or many individuals present just that week-evening. thus i was once tempted, after i had been a short time at teignmouth, to reserve a subject which had been just opened to me for the next lord's day. but being able, by the grace of god, to overcome the temptation by the above reasons, and preaching about it at once, it pleased the lord to bless it to the conversion of a sinner, and that, too, an individual who meant to come but that once more to the chapel, and to whose case the subject was most remarkably suited. . now, when the text has been obtained in the above way, whether it be one, or two, or more verses, or a whole chapter or more, i ask the lord that he would graciously be pleased to teach me by his holy spirit whilst meditating over it. within the last twenty-five years, i have found it the most profitable plan to meditate with my pen in my hand, writing down the outlines as the word is opened to me. this i do, not for the sake of committing them to memory, nor as if i meant to say nothing else, but for the sake of clearness, as being a help to see how far i understand the passage. i also find it useful afterwards to refer to what i have thus written. i very seldom use any other help besides the little i understand of the original of the scriptures, and some good translations in other languages. my chief help is prayer. i have never in my life begun to study one single part of divine truth without gaining some light about it when i have been able really to give myself to prayer and meditation over it. but _that_ i have often found a difficult matter, partly on account of the weakness of the flesh, and partly, also, on account of bodily infirmities and multiplicity of engagements. this i most firmly believe, that no one ought to expect to see much good resulting from his labors in word and doctrine, if he is not much given to prayer and meditation. . having prayed and meditated on the subject or text, i desire to leave myself entirely in the hands of the lord. i ask him to bring to my mind what i have seen in my closet concerning the subject i am going to speak on, which he generally most kindly does, and often teaches me much additionally whilst i am preaching. in connection with the above, i must, however, state that it appears to me there is a preparation for the public ministry of the word which is even more excellent than the one spoken of. it is this; to live in such _constant_ and _real_ communion with the lord, and to be so _habitually_ and _frequently_ in meditation over the truth, that without the above _effort_, so to speak, we have obtained food for others, and know the mind of the lord as to the subject or the portion of the word on which we should speak. that which i have found most beneficial in my experience for the last twenty-six years in the public ministry of the word, is _expounding_ the scriptures, and especially the going now and then through a whole gospel or epistle. this may be done in a twofold way, either by entering minutely into the bearing of every point occurring in the portion, or by giving the general outlines, and thus leading the hearers to see the meaning and connection of the whole. the benefits which i have seen resulting from _expounding_ the scriptures, are these: . the hearers are thus, with god's blessing, led to the scriptures. they find, as it were, _a practical_ use of them in the public meetings. this induces them to bring their bibles, and i have observed that those who at first did not bring them, have afterwards been induced to do so; so that, in a short time, few (of the believers at least) were in the habit of coming without them. this is no small matter; for everything which in our day will lead believers to value the scriptures is of importance. . the expounding of the scriptures is in general more beneficial to the hearers than if, on a single verse, or half a verse, or two or three words of a verse, some remarks are made, so that the portion of scripture is scarcely anything but a motto for the subject; for few have grace to meditate much over the word, and thus exposition may not merely be the means of opening to them the scriptures, but may also create in them a desire to meditate for themselves. . the expounding of the scriptures leaves to the hearers a connecting link, so that the reading over again the portion of the word which has been expounded brings to their remembrance what has been said, and thus, with god's blessing, leaves a more lasting impression on their minds. this is particularly of importance as it regards the illiterate, who sometimes have neither much strength of memory nor capacity of comprehension. . the _expounding_ of large portions of the word as the whole of a gospel or an epistle, besides leading the _hearer_ to see the connection of the whole, has also this particular benefit for the _teacher_, that it leads him, with god's blessing, to the consideration of portions of the word which otherwise he might not have considered, and keeps him from speaking too much on favorite subjects, and leaning too much to particular parts of truth, which tendency must surely sooner or later injure both himself and his hearers. expounding the word of god brings little honor to the preacher from the _unenlightened_ or _careless_ hearer, but it tends much to the benefit of the hearers in general. simplicity in expression, whilst the truth is set forth, is, in connection with what has been said, of the utmost importance. it should be the aim of the teacher to speak so that children, servants, and people who cannot read may be able to understand him, so far as the natural mind can comprehend the things of god. it ought also to be remembered that there is, perhaps, not a single congregation in which there are not persons of the above classes present, and that if _they_ can understand, the well-educated or literary persons will understand likewise; but the reverse does not hold good. it ought further to be remembered that the expounder of the truth of god speaks for god, for eternity, and that it is not in the least likely that he will benefit the hearers, except he use plainness of speech, which nevertheless needs not to be vulgar or rude. it should also be considered that if the preacher strive to speak according to the rules of this world, he may please many, particularly those who have a literary taste; but, in the same proportion, he is less likely to become an instrument in the hands of god for the conversion of sinners, or for the building-up of the saints. for neither eloquence nor depth of thought makes the truly great preacher, but such a life of prayer and meditation and spirituality as may render him a vessel meet for the master's use, and fit to be employed both in the conversion of sinners and in the edification of the saints. becoming convinced, after a prayerful examination of the scriptures, that baptism should be administered only by immersion, mr. müller was then baptized in the spring of . it was so usual for me to preach with particular assistance, especially during the first months of this year, that once, when it was otherwise, it was much noticed by myself and others. the circumstance was this. one day, before preaching at teignmouth, i had more time than usual, and therefore prayed and meditated about six hours in preparation for the evening meeting, and i thought i saw many precious truths in the passage on which i had meditated. it was the first part of the first chapter of the epistle to the ephesians. after i had spoken a little time, i felt that i spoke in my own strength, and i, being a foreigner, felt particularly the want of words, which had not been the case before. i told the brethren that i felt i was left to myself, and asked their prayers. but after having continued a little longer, and feeling the same as before, i closed, and proposed that we should have a meeting for prayer, that the lord still might be pleased to help me. we did so, and i was particularly assisted the next time. on october , , i was united by marriage to miss mary groves, sister of the brother whose name has already been mentioned. this step was taken after prayer and deliberation, from a full conviction that it was better for me to be married; and i have never regretted since either the step itself or the choice, but desire to be truly grateful to god for having given me such a wife. about this time, i began to have conscientious objections against any longer receiving a stated salary. my reasons against it were these: . the salary was made up by pew-rents; but pew-rents are, according to james ii. - , against the mind of the lord, as, in general, the poor brother cannot have so good a seat as the rich. . a brother may _gladly_ do something towards my support if left to his own time; but, when the quarter is up, he has perhaps other expenses, and i do not know whether he pays his money grudgingly, and of necessity, or cheerfully; but god loveth a cheerful giver. nay, _i knew it to be a fact_ that sometimes it had not been convenient to individuals to pay the money when it had been asked for by the brethren who collected it. . though the lord had been pleased to give me grace to be faithful, so that i had been enabled not to keep back the truth when he had shown it to me; still, i felt that the pew-rents were a snare to the servant of christ. it was a temptation to me, at least for a few minutes, at the time when the lord had stirred me up to pray and search the word respecting the ordinance of baptism, because thirty pounds of my salary was at stake if i should be baptized. for these reasons, i stated to the brethren, at the end of october, , that i should for the future give up having any regular salary. after i had given my reasons for doing so, i read philippians iv., and told the saints that if they still had a desire to do something towards my support, by voluntary gifts, i had no objection to receive them, though ever so small, either in money or provisions. a few days after, it appeared to me that there was a better way still; for, if i received personally every single gift offered in money, both my own time and that of the donors would be much taken up; and in this way, also, the poor might, through temptation, be kept from offering their pence, a privilege of which they ought not to be deprived; and some also might in this way give more than if it were not known who was the giver, so that it would still be doubtful whether the gift were given grudgingly or cheerfully. for these reasons especially, there was a box put up in the chapel, over which was written that whoever had a desire to do something towards my support might put his offering into the box. at the same time, it appeared to me right that henceforth i should ask no man, not even my beloved brethren and sisters, to help me, as i had done a few times, according to their own request, as my expenses, on account of travelling much in the lord's service, were too great to be met by my usual income. for, unconsciously, i had thus again been led, in some measure, to trust in an arm of flesh, going to man instead of going to the lord at once. _to come to this conclusion before god required more grace than to give up my salary._ about the same time, also, my wife and i had grace given to us to take the lord's commandment, "sell that ye have, and give alms," luke xii. , literally, and to carry it out. our staff and support in this matter were matthew vi. - , john xiv. , . we leaned on the arm of the lord jesus. it is now twenty-five years since we set out in this way, and _we do not in the least regret the step we then took_. as i have written down how the lord has been pleased to deal with us since, i shall be able to relate some facts concerning this matter, as far as they may tend to edification. nov. , . our money was reduced to about eight shillings. when i was praying with my wife in the morning, the lord brought to my mind the state of our purse, and i was led to ask him for some money. about four hours after, a sister said to me, "do you want any money?" "i told the brethren," said i, "dear sister, when i gave up my salary, that i would for the future tell the lord _only_ about my wants." she replied, "but he has told me to give you some money. about a fortnight ago, i asked him what i should do for him, and he told me to give you some money; and last saturday it came again powerfully to my mind, and has not left me since, and i felt it so forcibly last night that i could not help speaking of it to brother p." my heart rejoiced, seeing the lord's faithfulness, but i thought it better not to tell her about our circumstances, lest she should be influenced to give accordingly; and i also was assured that, if it were of the lord, she could not but give. i therefore turned the conversation to other subjects, but when i left she gave me two guineas. we were full of joy on account of the goodness of the lord. i would call upon the reader to admire the gentleness of the lord, that he did not try our faith much at the commencement, but allowed us to see his willingness to help us, before he was pleased to try it more fully. the next wednesday i went to exmouth, our money having then again been reduced to about nine shillings. i asked the lord on thursday, when at exmouth, to be pleased to give me some money. on friday morning, about eight o'clock, whilst in prayer, i was particularly led to ask again for money; and before i rose from my knees i had the fullest assurance that we should have the answer that very day. about nine o'clock i left the brother with whom i was staying, and he gave me half a sovereign, saying, "take this for the expenses connected with your coming to us." i did not expect to have my expenses paid, but i saw the lord's fatherly hand in sending me this money within one hour after my asking him for some. but even then i was so fully assured that the lord would send more that very day, or had done so already, that, when i came home about twelve o'clock, i asked my wife whether she had received any letters. she told me she had received one the day before from a brother in exeter, with three sovereigns. thus even my prayer on the preceding day had been answered. the next day one of the brethren came and brought me four pounds, which was due to me of my former salary, but which i could never have expected, as i did not even know that this sum was due to me. thus i received, within thirty hours, in answer to prayer, seven pounds ten shillings. about christmas, when our money was reduced to a few shillings, i asked the lord for more; when, a few hours after, there was given to us a sovereign by a brother from axminster. this brother had heard much against me, and was at last determined to hear for himself, and thus came to teignmouth, a distance of forty miles; and having heard about our manner of living, gave us this money. with this closes the year . throughout it the lord richly supplied all my temporal wants, though at the commencement of it i had no certain human prospect for one single shilling: so that, even as it regards temporal things, i had not been in the smallest degree a loser in acting according to the dictates of my conscience; and as it regards spiritual things, the lord had dealt bountifully with me, and had condescended to use me as an instrument in doing his work. on the th, th, and th of jan. , i had repeatedly asked the lord for money, but received none. on the evening of january , i left my room for a few minutes, and was then tempted to distrust the lord, though he had been so gracious to us in that he not only, up to that day, had supplied all our wants, but had given us also those answers of prayer which have been in part just mentioned. i was so sinful, for about five minutes, as to think it would be of no use to trust in the lord in this way. i also began to say to myself, that i had perhaps gone too far in living in this way. but, thanks to the lord! this trial lasted but a few minutes. he enabled me again to trust in him, and satan was immediately confounded; for when i returned to my room, out of which i had not been absent ten minutes, the lord had sent deliverance. a sister in the lord had brought us two pounds four shillings: so the lord triumphed, and our faith was strengthened. jan. . to-day, when we had again but a few shillings, five pounds were given to us, which had been taken out of the box. i had, once for all, told the brethren, who had the care of these temporal things, to have the kindness to let me have the money every week; but as these beloved brethren either forgot to take it out weekly, or were ashamed to bring it in such small sums, it was generally taken out every three, four, or five weeks. as i had stated to them, however, from the commencement, that i desired to look neither to man nor the box, but to the living god, i thought it not right on my part to remind them of my request to have the money weekly, lest it should hinder the testimony which i wished to give, of trusting in the living god alone. it was on this account that on january , when we had again but little money, though i had seen the brethren, on january , open the box and take out the money, i would not ask the brother, in whose hands it was, to let me have it; but standing in need of it, as our coals were almost gone, i asked the lord to incline his heart to bring it; and but a little time afterwards it was given to us; even one pound eight shillings and sixpence. i would here mention, that, since the time i began living in this way, i have been kept from speaking, either directly or indirectly, about my wants, at the time i was in need. the only exception is, that in a few instances, twenty years or more since, i have, at such times, spoken to _very poor_ brethren, in the way of encouraging them to trust in the lord, telling them that i had to do the same, being myself in similar straits; or, in a few instances, where it was needful to speak about my own want, lest i should appear unfeeling, in that i did not help at all, in cases of distress, or not as much as might have been expected. on february we had again very little money, and, whilst praying, i was led to ask the lord graciously to supply our wants; and _the instant that i got up from my knees_ a brother gave me one pound, which had been taken out of the box. on march , i was again tempted to disbelieve the faithfulness of the lord, and though i was not miserable, still, i was not so fully resting upon the lord that i could triumph with joy. it was _but one hour after_, when the lord gave me another proof of his faithful love. a christian lady brought five sovereigns for us, with these words written in the paper: "i was an hungered, and ye gave _me_ meat; i was thirsty, and ye gave _me_ drink," etc. april . this morning i found that our money was reduced to three shillings; and i said to myself, i must now go and ask the lord earnestly for fresh supplies. but before i had prayed, there was sent from exeter two pounds, as a proof that the lord hears before we call. i would observe here, by the way, that if any of the children of god should think that such a mode of living leads away from the lord, and from caring about spiritual things, and has the effect of causing the mind to be taken up with the question, what shall i eat?--what shall i drink?--and wherewithal shall i be clothed?--i would request him prayerfully to consider the following remarks: . i have had experience of both ways, and know that my present mode of living, as to temporal things, is connected with less care. . confidence in the lord, to whom alone i look for the supply of my temporal wants, keeps me, when a case of distress comes before me, or when the lord's work calls for my pecuniary aid, from anxious reckoning like this: will my salary last out? shall i have enough myself the next month? etc. in this my freedom, i am, by the grace of god, generally, at least, able to say to myself something like this: my lord is not limited; he can again supply; he knows that this present case has been sent to me: and thus, this way of living, so far from _leading to anxiety_, is rather the means of _keeping from it_. and truly it was once said to me by an individual,--you can do such and such things, and need not to lay by, for the church in the whole of devonshire cares about your wants. my reply was: the lord can use not merely any of the saints throughout devonshire, but those throughout the world, as instruments to supply my temporal wants. . this way of living has often been the means of reviving the work of grace in my heart, when i have been getting cold; and it also has been the means of bringing me back again to the lord, after i have been backsliding. for it will not do,--it is not possible to live in sin, and at the same time, by communion with god, to draw down from heaven everything one needs for the life that now is. . frequently, too, a fresh answer to prayer, obtained in this way, has been the means of quickening my soul, and filling me with much joy. may . a sister has been staying for some time at teignmouth on account of her health; and when she was about to return home to-day, we saw it the lord's will to invite her to stay with us for some time; as we knew that she would stay longer if her means allowed it. we were persuaded that, as we saw it to be the lord's will to invite her, he himself would pay the expenses connected with her stay. about the time when she came to our house, a parcel with money was sent from chumleigh. a few weeks before, i had preached at chumleigh and in the neighborhood. the brethren, knowing about my manner of living, after my departure collected some money for me, and thus, in small offerings (one hundred and seven altogether, as i have been told), two pounds and one penny halfpenny were given. thus the lord paid for the expenses connected with our sister's staying with us. june . lord's day. on thursday last i went with brother craik to torquay, to preach there. i had only about three shillings with me, and left my wife with about six shillings at home. i asked the lord repeatedly for money; but when i came home my wife had only about three shillings left, having received nothing. we waited still upon the lord. yesterday passed away, and no money came. we had ninepence left. this morning we were still waiting upon the lord, and looking for deliverance. we had only a little butter left for breakfast, sufficient for brother e. and a relative living with us, to whom we did not mention our circumstances, that they might not be made uncomfortable. after the morning meeting, brother y. most unexpectedly opened the box, and, in giving me quite as unexpectedly the money at such a time, he told me that _he and his wife could not sleep last night, on account of thinking that we might want money_. the most striking point is, that after i had repeatedly asked the lord, but received nothing, _i then prayed yesterday that the lord would be pleased to impress it on brother y. that we wanted money, so that he might open the box_. there was in it one pound eight shillings and tenpence halfpenny. november . this morning i proposed united prayer respecting our temporal wants. just as we were about to pray, a parcel came from exmouth. in prayer we asked the lord for meat for dinner, having no money to buy any. after prayer, on opening the parcel, we found, among other things, a ham, sent by a brother at exmouth, which served us for dinner. november . we had not enough to pay our weekly rent; but the lord graciously sent us again to-day fourteen shillings and sixpence. i would just observe, that we never contract debts, which we believe to be unscriptural (according to romans xiii. ); and therefore we have no bills with our tailor, shoemaker, grocer, butcher, baker, etc.; but all we buy we pay for in ready money. the lord helping us, we would rather suffer privation than contract debts. thus we always know how much we have, and how much we have a right to give away. i am well aware that many trials come upon the children of god, on account of not acting according to rom. xiii. . november . lord's day. our money had been reduced to two pence halfpenny; our bread was hardly enough for this day. i had several times brought our need before the lord. after dinner, when i returned thanks, i asked him to give us our daily bread, meaning literally that he would send us bread for the evening. whilst i was praying, there was a knock at the door of the room. after i had concluded, a poor sister came in, and brought us some of her dinner, and from another poor sister five shillings. in the afternoon she also brought us a large loaf. thus the lord not only literally gave us bread but also money. after we had, on december , , looked over the lord's gracious dealings with us during the past year, in providing for all our temporal wants, we had about ten shillings left. a little while after, the providence of god called for that, so that not a single farthing remained. thus we closed the old year, in which the lord had been so gracious in giving to us, without our asking any one,-- . through the instrumentality of the box, thirty-one pounds fourteen shillings. . from brethren of the church at teignmouth, in presents of money, six pounds eighteen shillings and sixpence. . from brethren living at teignmouth and elsewhere, not connected with the church at teignmouth, ninety-three pounds six shillings and twopence. altogether, one hundred and thirty-one pounds eighteen shillings and eightpence. there had been likewise many articles of provision, and some articles of clothing given to us, worth at least twenty pounds. i am so particular in mentioning these things, to show that we are never losers from acting according to the mind of the lord. for had i had my regular salary, humanly speaking, i should not have had nearly as much; but whether this would have been the case or not, this is plain, that i have not served a hard master, and that is what i delight to show. january , . we had been again repeatedly asking the lord to-day and yesterday to supply our temporal wants, having no means to pay our weekly rent, and this evening, as late as eleven o'clock, a brother gave us nineteen shillings and sixpence,--a proof that the lord is not limited to time. january . this morning we had nothing but dry bread with our tea; only the second time since we have been living by simple faith upon jesus for temporal supplies. we have more than forty pounds of ready money in the house for two bills,[ ] which will not be payable for several weeks; but we do not consider this money to be our own, and would rather suffer great privation, god helping us, than take of it. we were looking to our father, and he has not suffered us to be disappointed. for when now we had but threepence left, and only a small piece of bread, we received two shillings and five shillings. [footnote : one bill i had to meet for a brother, the other was for money which, in the form of a bill, i had sent to the continent; but in both cases the money was in my hands before the bills were given.] february . this afternoon i broke a bloodvessel in my stomach, and lost a considerable quantity of blood. i was very happy immediately afterwards. february . this morning, lord's day, two brethren called on me, to ask me what arrangement there should be made to-day, as it regarded the four villages, where some of the brethren were in the habit of preaching, as, on account of my not being able to preach, one of the brethren would need to stay at home to take my place. i asked them, kindly, to come again in about an hour, when i would give them an answer. after they were gone, the lord gave me faith to rise. i dressed myself; and determined to go to the chapel. i was enabled to do so, though so weak when i went, that walking the short distance to the chapel was an exertion to me. i was enabled to preach this morning with as loud and strong a voice as usual, and for the usual length of time. after the morning meeting, a medical friend called on me, and entreated me not to preach again in the afternoon, as it might greatly injure me. i told him that i should indeed consider it great presumption to do so had the lord not given me faith. i preached again in the afternoon, and this medical friend called again, and said the same concerning the evening meeting. nevertheless, having faith, i preached again in the evening. after each meeting i became stronger, which was a plain proof that the hand of god was in the matter. february . the lord enabled me to rise early in the morning, and to go to our usual prayer meeting, where i read, spoke, and prayed. afterwards i wrote four letters, expounded the scriptures at home, and attended the meeting again in the evening. february . i attended the two meetings as usual, preached in the evening, and did my other work besides. february . to-day i attended the meeting in the morning, walked afterwards six miles with two brethren, and rode to plymouth. february . i am now as well as i was before i broke the bloodvessel. in relating the particulars of this circumstance, i would earnestly warn every one who may read this not to imitate me in such a thing if he has no faith; but if he has, it will, as good coin, most assuredly be honored by god. i could not say that if such a thing should happen again i would act in the same way; for when i have been not nearly so weak as when i had broken the bloodvessel, having no faith, i did not preach; yet, if it were to please the lord to give me faith, i might be able to do the same, though even still weaker than at the time just spoken of. about this time i repeatedly prayed with sick believers till they were restored. _unconditionally_ i asked the lord for the blessing of bodily health (a thing which i could not do now), and almost always had the petition granted. in some instances, however, the prayer was not answered. in the same way, whilst in london, november, , in answer to my prayers, i was immediately restored from a bodily infirmity under which i had been laboring for a long time, and which has never returned since. the way in which i now account for these facts is as follows. it pleased the lord, i think, to give me in such cases something like the gift (not grace) of faith, so that unconditionally i could ask and look for an answer. the difference between the _gift_ and the _grace_ of faith seems to me this. according to _the gift of faith_, i am able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, the not doing of which, or the not believing of which, _would not be sin_; according to _the grace of faith_, i am able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, respecting which i have the word of god as the ground to rest upon, and, therefore, the not doing it, or the not believing it, _would be sin_. for instance, _the gift of faith_ would be needed to believe that a sick person should be restored again, though there is no human probability, for _there is no promise to that effect_; _the grace of faith_ is needed to believe that the lord will give me the necessaries of life, if i first seek the kingdom of god and his righteousness, for _there is a promise to that effect_.[ ] [footnote : matt. vi.] march . these two days we have not been able to purchase meat. the sister in whose house we lodge gave us to-day part of her dinner. we are still looking to jesus for deliverance. we want money to pay the weekly rent and to buy provisions. march . our landlady sent again of her meat for our dinner. we have but a halfpenny left. i feel myself very cold in asking for money: still, i hope for deliverance, though i do not see whence money is to come. we were not able to buy bread to-day as usual. march . this has been again a day of very great mercies. in the morning we met round our breakfast which the lord had provided for us, though we had not a single penny left. the last halfpenny was spent for milk. we were then still looking to jesus for fresh supplies. we both had no doubt that the lord would interfere. i felt it a trial that i had but little earnestness in asking the lord, and had this not been the case, perhaps we might have had our wants sooner supplied. we have about seven pounds in the house; but considering it no longer our own, the lord kept us from taking of it, with the view of replacing what we had taken, as formerly i might have done. the meat which was sent yesterday for our dinner was enough also for to-day. thus the lord had provided another meal. two sisters called upon us about noon, who gave us two pounds of sugar, one pound of coffee, and two cakes of chocolate. whilst they were with us, a poor sister came and brought us one shilling from herself and two shillings and sixpence from another poor sister. our landlady also sent us again of her dinner, and also a loaf. our bread would scarcely have been enough for tea, had the lord not thus graciously provided. in the afternoon, the same sister who brought the money brought us also, from another sister, one pound of butter and two shillings, and from another sister five shillings. chapter v. ministry at bristol begun. - . "here have we no continuing city"--caution to the christian traveller--new tokens for good--the way made clear--meetings for inquiry--no respect of persons with god--francke, "being dead, yet speaketh"--daily bread supplied--a peculiar people. april . i have felt much this day that teignmouth is no longer my place, and that i shall leave it. i would observe that in august of i began greatly to feel as if my work at teignmouth were done, and that i should go somewhere else. i was led to consider the matter more maturely, and at last had it settled in this way,--that it was not likely to be of god, because, for certain reasons, i should _naturally_ have liked to leave teignmouth. afterwards, i felt quite comfortable in remaining there. in the commencement of the year i began again much to doubt whether teignmouth was my place, or whether my gift was not much more that of going about from place to place, seeking to bring believers back to the scriptures, than to stay in one place and to labor as a pastor. i resolved to try whether it were not the will of god that i should still give myself to pastoral work among the brethren at teignmouth; and with more earnestness and faithfulness than ever i was enabled to give myself to this work, and was certainly much refreshed and blessed in it; and i saw immediately blessings result from it. this my experience seemed more than ever to settle me at teignmouth. but notwithstanding this, the impression that my work was done there came back after some time, as the remark in my journal of april shows, and it became stronger and stronger. there was one point remarkable in connection with this. wherever i went i preached with much more enjoyment and power than at teignmouth, the very reverse of which had been the case on my first going there. moreover, almost everywhere i had many more hearers than at teignmouth, and found the people hungering after food, which, generally speaking, was no longer the case at teignmouth. april . felt again much that teignmouth will not much longer be my residence. april . still feel the impression that teignmouth is no longer my place. april . found a letter from brother craik, from bristol, on my return from torquay, where i had been to preach. he invites me to come and help him. it appears to me, from what he writes, that such places as bristol more suit my gifts. o lord, teach me! i have felt this day more than ever that i shall soon leave teignmouth. i fear, however, there is much connected with it which savors of the flesh, and that makes me fearful. it seems to me as if i should shortly go to bristol, if the lord permit. april . wrote a letter to brother craik, in which i said i should come, if i clearly saw it to be the lord's will. have felt again very much to-day, yea, far more than ever, that i shall soon leave teignmouth. april . lord's day. this evening i preached, as fully as time would permit, on the lord's second coming. after having done so, i told the brethren what effect this doctrine had had upon me, on first receiving it, even to determine me to leave london, and to preach throughout the kingdom; but that the lord had kept me chiefly at teignmouth for these two years and three months, and that it seemed to me now that the time was near when i should leave them. i reminded them of what i told them when they requested me to take the oversight of them, that i could make no certain engagement, but stay only so long with them as i should see it to be the lord's will to do so. there was much weeping afterwards. but i am now again in peace. april . this morning i am still in peace. i am glad i have spoken to the brethren, that they may be prepared, in case the lord should take me away. i left to-day for dartmouth, where i preached in the evening. i had five answers to prayer to-day. . i awoke at five, for which i had asked the lord last evening. . the lord removed from my dear wife an indisposition under which she had been suffering. it would have been trying to me to have had to leave her in that state. . the lord sent us money. . there was a place vacant on the dartmouth coach, which only passes through teignmouth. . this evening i was assisted in preaching, and my own soul refreshed. april . i would offer here a word of warning to believers. often the work of the lord itself may be a temptation to keep us from that communion with him which is so essential to the benefit of our own souls. on the th i had left dartmouth, conversed a good deal that day, preached in the evening, walked afterwards eight miles, had only about five hours' sleep, travelled again the next day twenty-five miles, preached twice, and conversed very much besides, went to bed at eleven, and arose before five. all this shows that my body and spirit required rest, and, therefore, however careless about the lord's work i might have appeared to my brethren, i ought to have had a great deal of quiet time for prayer and reading the word, especially as i had a long journey before me that day, and as i was going to bristol, which in itself required much prayer. instead of this, i hurried to the prayer meeting, after a few minutes' private prayer. but let none think that public prayer will make up for closet communion. then again, afterwards, when i ought to have withdrawn myself, as it were, by force, from the company of beloved brethren and sisters, and given my testimony for the lord, (and, indeed, it would have been the best testimony i could have given them,) by telling them that i needed secret communion with the lord, i did not do so, but spent the time, till the coach came, in conversation with them. now, however profitable in some respects it may have been made to those with whom i was on that morning, yet my own soul needed food; and not having had it, i was lean, and felt the effects of it the whole day; and hence i believe it came that i was dumb on the coach, and did not speak a word for christ, nor give away a single tract, though i had my pockets full on purpose. april . this morning i preached at gideon chapel, bristol. in the afternoon i preached at the pithay chapel. this sermon was a blessing to many, many souls; and many were brought through it to come afterwards to hear brother craik and me. among others it was the means of converting a young man who was a notorious drunkard, and who was just again on his way to a public house, when an acquaintance of his met him, and asked him to go with him to hear a foreigner preach. he did so; and from that moment he was so completely altered, that he never again went to a public house, and was so happy in the lord afterwards that he often neglected his supper, from eagerness to read the scriptures, as his wife told me. he died about five months afterwards. this evening i was much instructed in hearing brother craik preach. i am now fully persuaded that bristol is the place where the lord will have me to labor. april . it seems to brother craik and myself the lord's will that we should go home next week, in order that in quietness, without being influenced by what we see here, we may more inquire into the lord's will concerning us. it especially appears to us much more likely that we should come to a right conclusion among the brethren and sisters in devonshire, whose tears we shall have to witness, and whose entreaties to stay with them we shall have to hear, than here in bristol, where we see only those who wish us to stay. april . it still seems to us the lord's will that we should both leave soon, to have quiet time for prayer concerning bristol. april . i preached this morning on rev. iii. - . as it afterwards appeared, that testimony was blessed to many, though i lacked enjoyment in my own soul. this afternoon brother craik preached in a vessel called the clifton ark, fitted up for a chapel. in the evening i preached in the same vessel. these testimonies also god greatly honored, and made them the means of afterwards bringing several, who then heard us, to our meeting places. how was god with us, and how did he help us, thereby evidently showing that he himself had sent us to this city! april . it was most affecting to take leave of the dear children of god, dozens pressing us to return soon, many with tears in their eyes. the blessing which the lord has given to our ministry seems to be very great. we both see it fully the lord's will to come here, though we do not see under what circumstances. a brother has promised to take bethesda chapel for us, and to be answerable for the payment of the rent; so that thus we should have two large chapels. i saw, again, two instances to-day in which my preaching has been blessed. may . brother craik and i left this morning for devonshire. may . i saw several of the brethren to-day, and felt so fully assured that it is the lord's will that i should go to bristol, that i told them so. this evening i had a meeting with the three deacons, when i told them plainly about it; asking them, if they see anything wrong in me concerning this matter, to tell me of it. they had nothing to say against it; yea, though much wishing me to stay, they were convinced themselves that my going is of god. may . one other striking proof to my mind that my leaving teignmouth is of god, is, that some truly spiritual believers, though they much wish me to stay, themselves see that i ought to go to bristol. may . having received a letter from bristol on may , it was answered to-day in such a way that the lord may have another opportunity to prevent our going thither if it be not of him. may . just when i was in prayer concerning bristol, i was sent for to come to brother craik. two letters had arrived from bristol. the brethren assembling at gideon accept our offer to come under the conditions we have made, _i. e._ for the present, to consider us only as ministering among them, but not in any fixed pastoral relationship, so that we may preach as we consider it to be according to the mind of god, _without reference to any rules among them; that the pew-rents should be done away with; and that we should go on, respecting the supply of our temporal wants, as in devonshire_. we intend, the lord willing, to leave in about a week, though there is nothing settled respecting bethesda chapel. may . i began to-day to take leave of the brethren at teignmouth, calling on each of them. it has been a trying day. much weeping on the part of the saints. were i not so fully persuaded that it is the will of god we should go to bristol, i should have been hardly able to bear it. may . the brethren at teignmouth say that they expect us soon back again. _as far as i understand the way in which god deals with his children, this seems very unlikely._ towards the evening, the lord, after repeated prayer, gave me col. i. - as a text for the last word of exhortation. it seemed to me best to speak as little as possible about myself, and as much as possible about christ. i scarcely alluded to our separation, and only commended myself and the brethren, in the concluding prayer, to the lord. the parting scenes are very trying, but my full persuasion is that the separation is of the lord. may . my wife, mr. groves, my father-in-law, and i left this morning for exeter. dear brother craik intends to follow us to-morrow. we had unexpectedly received, just before we left teignmouth, about fifteen pounds, else we should not have been able to defray all the expenses connected with leaving, travelling, etc. by this, also, the lord showed his mind concerning our going to bristol. the following record will now show to the believing reader how far what i have said concerning my persuasion that it was the will of god that we should go to bristol has been proved by facts. may , . this evening we arrived at bristol. may . this morning we received a sovereign, sent to us by a sister residing in _devonshire_, which we take as an earnest that the lord will provide for us here also. may . when we were going to speak to the brethren, who manage the temporal affairs of gideon chapel, about giving up the pew-rents, having all the seats free, and receiving the free-will offerings through a box, a matter which was not quite settled on their part, as brother craik and i had thought, we found that the lord had so graciously ordered this matter for us that there was not the least objection on the part of these brethren. june . for several days we have been looking about for lodgings, but finding none plain and cheap enough, we were led to make this also a subject of earnest prayer; and now, immediately afterwards, the lord has given us such as are suitable. we pay only eighteen shillings a week for two sitting-rooms and three bedrooms, coals, and attendance. it was particularly difficult to find _cheap_ furnished lodgings, having five rooms in the same house, which we need, as brother craik and we live together. how good is the lord to have thus appeared for us, in answer to prayer, and what an encouragement to commit everything to him in prayer! june . to-day it was finally settled to take bethesda chapel for a twelvemonth, on condition that a brother at once paid the rent, with the understanding that, if the lord shall bless our labors in that place, so that believers are gathered together in fellowship, he expects them to help him; but if not, that he will pay all. this was the only way in which we could take the chapel; for we could not think it to be of god to have had this chapel, though there should be every prospect of usefulness, if it had made us in any way debtors. july . to-day we commenced preaching at bethesda chapel. it was a good day. july . to-day we heard of the first cases of cholera in bristol. july . this evening, from six to nine o'clock, we had appointed for conversing at the vestry, one by one, with individuals who wished to speak to us about their souls. there were so many that we were engaged from six till twenty minutes past ten. these meetings we have continued ever since, twice a week, or once a week, or once a fortnight, or once a month, as our strength and time allowed it, or as they seemed needed. we have found them beneficial in the following respects:-- . many persons, on account of timidity, would prefer coming at an appointed time to the vestry to converse with us, to calling on us in our own house. . the very fact of appointing a time for seeing people, to converse with them in private concerning the things of eternity, has brought some, who, humanly speaking, never would have called upon us under other circumstances; yea, it has brought even those who, though they thought they were concerned about the things of god, yet were completely ignorant; and thus we have had an opportunity of speaking to them. . these meetings have also been a great encouragement to ourselves in the work, for often, when we thought that such and such expositions of the word had done no good at all, it was through these meetings found to be the reverse; and likewise, when our hands were hanging down, we have been afresh encouraged to go forward in the work of the lord, and to continue sowing the seed in hope, by seeing at these meetings fresh cases in which the lord has condescended to use us as instruments, particularly as in this way instances have sometimes occurred in which individuals have spoken to us about the benefit which they derived from our ministry not only a few months before, but even as long as two, three, and four years before. for the above reasons i would particularly recommend to other servants of christ, especially to those who live in large towns, if they have not already introduced a similar plan, to consider whether it may not be well for them also to set apart such times for seeing inquirers. those meetings, however, require much prayer, to be enabled to speak aright to all those who come, according to their different need; and one is led continually to feel that one is not sufficient of one's self for these things, but that our sufficiency can be alone of god. these meetings also have been by far the most wearing-out part of all our work, though at the same time the most refreshing. july . to-day i spent the whole morning in the vestry, to procure a quiet season. this has now for some time been the only way, on account of the multiplicity of engagements, to make sure of time for prayer, reading the word, and meditation. july . i spent from half past nine till one in the vestry, and had real communion with the lord. the lord be praised, who has put it into my mind to use the vestry for a place of retirement! august . _when all our money was gone to-day, the lord again graciously supplied our wants._ august . this afternoon, from two till after six, brother craik and i spent in the vestry, to see the inquirers. we have had again, in seeing several instances of blessing upon our labors, abundant reason brought before us to praise the lord for having sent us to bristol. august . this evening one brother and four sisters united with brother craik and me in church-fellowship at bethesda, _without any rules, desiring only to act as the lord shall be pleased to give us light through his word_. september . this morning the lord, in addition to all his other mercies, has given us a little girl, who, with her mother, is doing well. october . a meeting for inquirers this afternoon from two to five. many more are convinced of sin through brother craik's preaching than my own. this circumstance led me to inquire into the reasons, which are probably these: . that brother craik is more spiritually minded than i am. . that he prays more earnestly for the conversion of sinners than i do. . that he more frequently addresses sinners, as such, in his public ministrations, than i do. this led me to more frequent and earnest prayer for the conversion of sinners, and to address them more frequently as such. the latter had never been intentionally left undone, but it had not been so frequently brought to my mind as to that of brother craik. since then, the cases in which it has pleased the lord to use me as an instrument of conversion have been quite as many as those in which brother craik has been used. february , . i read a part of franke's life. the lord graciously help me to follow him, as far as he followed christ. most of the lord's people whom we know in bristol are poor, and if the lord were to give us grace to live more as this dear man of god did, we might draw much more than we have as yet done out of our heavenly father's bank, for our poor brethren and sisters. march . a man in the street ran up to brother craik and put a paper containing ten shillings into his hand, saying, "that is for you and mr. müller," and went hastily away. may . this morning, whilst sitting in my room, the distress of several brethren and sisters was brought to my mind, and i said to myself, "o that it might please the lord to give me means to help them!" about an hour afterwards i received sixty pounds from a brother whom up to this day i never saw, and who then lived, as he does still, a distance of several thousand miles. may . review of the last twelve months, as it regards the fruits of our labors in bristol: . the total number of those added to us within the year has been one hundred and nine. . there have been converted through our instrumentality, _so far as we have heard and can judge respecting the individuals_, sixty-five. . many backsliders have been reclaimed, and many of the children of god have been encouraged and strengthened in the way of truth. june . i felt, this morning, that we might do something for the souls of those poor boys and girls, and grown-up or aged people, to whom we have daily given bread for some time past, in establishing a school for them, reading the scriptures to them, and speaking to them about the lord. this desire was not carried out. the chief obstacle in the way was a pressure of work coming upon brother craik and me just about that time. shortly after, the number of the poor who came for bread increased to between sixty and eighty a day, whereby our neighbors were molested, as the beggars were lying about in troops in the street, on account of which we were obliged to tell them no longer to come for bread. this thought ultimately issued in the formation of the scriptural knowledge institution, and in the establishment of the orphan houses. december . this evening brother craik and i took tea with a family of whom five had been brought to the knowledge of the lord through our instrumentality. as an encouragement to brethren who may desire to preach the gospel in a language not their own, i would mention that the first member of this family who was converted came merely out of curiosity to hear my foreign accent, some words having been mentioned to her which i did not pronounce properly. december . in looking over my journal, i find,-- . that at least two hundred and sixty persons (according to the number of names we have marked down, but there have been many more) have come to converse with us about the concerns of their souls. out of these, one hundred and fifty-three have been added to us in fellowship these last eighteen months, sixty of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the lord through our instrumentality. . in looking over the lord's dealings with me as to temporal things, i find that he has sent me, during the past year,-- . in freewill offerings through the boxes, _as my part_ £ ¼ . presents in money given to me . presents in clothes and provisions, worth, at least . a brother sent me, from a distance . we live free of rent, which is worth _for our part_ ---------- £ ¼ it is just now four years since i first began to trust in the lord alone for the supply of my temporal wants. my little all i then had, at most worth one hundred pounds a year, i gave up for the lord, having then nothing left but about five pounds. the lord greatly honored this little sacrifice, and he gave me, in return, not only as much as i had given up, but considerably more. for during the first year, he sent me already, in one way or other, including what came to me through family connection, about one hundred and thirty pounds. during the second year, one hundred and fifty-one pounds eighteen shillings and eight pence. during the third year, one hundred and ninety-five pounds three shillings. during this year, two hundred and sixty-seven pounds fifteen shillings and eight and one fourth pence. the following points require particular notice: . during the last three years and three months i never have asked any one for anything; but, by the help of the lord, i have been enabled at all times to bring my wants to him, and he graciously has supplied them all. . at the close of each of these four years, though my income has been comparatively great, i have had only a few shillings or nothing at all left; and thus it is also to-day, by the help of god. . during the last year a considerable part of my income has come from a distance of several thousand miles, from a brother whom i never saw. . since we have been obliged to discontinue the giving away of bread to about fifty poor people every day, on account of our neighbors, our income has not been during the second part of this year nearly so great, scarcely one half as much, as during the first part of it. january , . brother craik and i have preached during these eighteen months, once a month, at brislington, a village near bristol, but have not seen any fruit of our labors there. this led me to-day very earnestly to pray to the lord for the conversion of sinners in that place. i was also, in the chapel, especially led to pray again about this, and asked the lord in particular that he would be pleased to convert, at least, one soul this evening, that we might have a little encouragement. i preached with much help, and i hope there has been good done this evening. the lord did according to my request. there was a young man brought to the knowledge of the truth. january . i was greatly tried by the difficulty of fixing upon a text from which to preach on the morning of october , and at last preached without enjoyment. to-day i heard of a ninth instance in which this very sermon has been blessed. january . this evening a dorcas society was formed among the sisters in communion with us, but not according to the manner in which we found one when we came to bristol; for, as we have dismissed all teachers from the sunday school who were not real believers, so now believing females only will meet together to make clothes for the poor. the being mixed up with unbelievers had not only proved a barrier to spiritual conversation among the sisters, but must have been also injurious to both parties in several respects. one sister, now united to us in fellowship, acknowledged that the being connected with the dorcas society, previous to her conversion, had been, in a measure, the means of keeping her in security; as she thought that, by helping on such like things, she might gain heaven at last. o that the saints, in _faithful_ love, according to the word of god ( cor. vi. - ), might be more separated in all spiritual matters from unbelievers, and not be unequally yoked together with them! chapter vi. the scriptural knowledge institution. - . unscriptural character of the existing religious and benevolent societies--a new institution proposed--god's word the only rule, and god's promise the only dependence--"in everything, let your request be made known unto god"--earnest of the divine blessing on the institution--bereavement--helper seasonably sent--reward of seeking god's face. feb. . i was led this morning to form a plan for establishing, upon scriptural principles, an institution for the spread of the gospel at home and abroad. i trust this matter is of god. feb. . i was led again this day to pray about the forming of a new missionary institution, and felt still more confirmed that we should do so. [some readers may ask why we formed a _new_ institution for the spread of the gospel, and why we did not unite with some of the religious societies, already in existence, seeing that there are several missionary, bible, tract, and school societies. i give, therefore, our reasons, in order to show that nothing but the desire to maintain a good conscience led us to act as we have done. for as, by the grace of god, we acknowledged the word of god as the only rule of action for the disciples of the lord jesus, we found, in comparing the then existing religious societies with the word of god, that they departed so far from it, that we could not be united with them, and yet maintain a good conscience. i only mention here the following points. . the _end_ which these religious societies propose to themselves, and which is constantly put before their members, is, that the world will gradually become better and better, and that at last the whole world will be converted. to this end, there is constantly reference made to the passage in habakkuk ii. : "for the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the lord, as the waters cover the sea;" or the one in isaiah xi. : "for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the lord, as the waters cover the sea." but that these passages can have no reference to the present dispensation, but to the one which will commence with the return of the lord,--that in the present dispensation things will not become spiritually better, but rather worse,--and that in the present dispensation it is not the whole world that will be converted, but only a people gathered out from among the gentiles for the lord,--is clear from many passages of the divine testimony, of which i only refer to the following: matt. xiii. - , and verses - , tim. iii. - , acts xv. . a hearty desire for the conversion of sinners, and earnest prayer for it to the lord, is quite _scriptural_; but it is _unscriptural_ to expect the conversion of the whole world. _such an end_ we could not propose to ourselves in the service of the lord. . but that which is worse, is, the connection of those religious societies with the world, which is completely contrary to the word of god ( cor. vi. - ). in temporal things the children of god need, whilst they remain here on earth, to make use of the world; but when the work to be done requires that those who attend to it should be possessed of spiritual life (of which unbelievers are utterly destitute), the children of god are bound, by their loyalty to their lord, entirely to refrain from association with the unregenerate. but, alas! the connection with the world is but too marked in these religious societies; for every one who pays a guinea, or, in some societies, half-a-guinea, is considered as a member. although such an individual may live in sin; although he may manifest to every one that he does not know the lord jesus; if only the guinea or the half-guinea be paid, he is considered a member, and has a right as such to vote. moreover, whoever pays a larger sum, for instance, ten pounds or twenty pounds, can be, in many societies, a member for life, however openly sinful his life should be for the time, or should become afterwards. surely such things ought not to be. . the means which are made use of in these religious societies to obtain money for the work of the lord are also in other respects unscriptural; for it is a most common case _to ask_ the _unconverted_ for money, which even abraham would not have done (genesis xiv. - ); and how much less should _we_ do it, who are not only forbidden to have fellowship with unbelievers in all such matters ( cor. vi. - ), but who are also in fellowship with the father and the son, and can therefore obtain everything from the lord which we possibly can need in his service, without being obliged to go to the unconverted world! how altogether differently the first disciples acted, in this respect, we learn from john . . not merely, however, in these particulars is there a connection with the world in these religious societies; but it is not a rare thing for even committee members (the individuals who manage the affairs of the societies) to be manifestly unconverted persons, if not open enemies to the truth; and this is suffered because they are rich, or of influence, as it is called. . it is a most common thing to endeavor to obtain for patrons and presidents of these societies and for chairmen at the public meetings, persons of rank or wealth, to attract the public. never once have i known a case of a poor, but very devoted, wise, and experienced servant of christ being invited to fill the chair at such public meetings. surely, the galilean fishermen, who were apostles, or our lord himself, who was called the carpenter, would not have been called to this office, according to these principles. these things ought not so to be among the disciples of the lord jesus, who should not judge with reference to a person's fitness for service in the church of christ by the position he fills in the world, or by the wealth he possesses. . almost all these societies contract debts, so that it is a comparatively rare case to read a report of any of them without finding that they have expended more than they have received, which, however, is contrary both to the spirit and to the letter of the new testament. (rom. xiii. .) now, although brother craik and i were ready, by the grace of god, heartily to acknowledge that there are not only many true children of god connected with these religious societies, but that the lord has also blessed their efforts in many respects, notwithstanding the existence of these and other principles and practices which we judged to be unscriptural; yet it appeared to us to be his will that we should be entirely separate from these societies, (though we should be considered as singular persons, or though it should even appear that we despised other persons, or would elevate ourselves above them,) in order that, by the blessing of god, we might direct the attention of the children of god in those societies to their unscriptural practices; and we would rather be entirely unconnected with these societies than act contrary to the holy scriptures. we therefore separated entirely from them, although we remained united in brotherly love with individual believers belonging to them, and would by no means judge them for remaining in connection with them, if they do not see that such things are contrary to scripture. but seeing them to be so ourselves, we could not with a clear conscience remain. after we had thus gone on for some time, we considered that it would have an injurious tendency upon the brethren among whom we labored, and also be at variance with the spirit of the gospel of christ, if we did nothing at all for missionary objects, the circulation of the holy scriptures, tracts, etc., and we were therefore led, for these and other reasons, to do something for the spread of the gospel at home and abroad, however small the beginning might be.] march . this evening, at a public meeting, brother craik and i stated the principles on which we intend to carry on the institution which we propose to establish for the spread of the gospel at home and abroad. there was nothing outwardly influential either in the number of people present or in our speeches. may the lord graciously be pleased to grant his blessing upon the institution, which will be called "the scriptural knowledge institution, for home and abroad." i. the principles of the institution. . we consider every believer bound, in one way or other, to help the cause of christ, and we have scriptural warrant for expecting the lord's blessing upon our work of faith and labor of love; and although, according to matt. xiii. - , tim. iii. - , and many other passages, the world will not be converted before the coming of our lord jesus, still, while he tarries, all scriptural means ought to be employed for the ingathering of the elect of god. . the lord helping us, we do not mean to seek the patronage of the world; _i. e._ we never intend to ask _unconverted_ persons of rank or wealth to countenance this institution, because this, we consider, would be dishonorable to the lord. in the name of our god we set up our banners, ps. xx. ; he alone shall be our patron, and if he helps us we shall prosper, and if he is not on our side we shall not succeed. . we do not mean to _ask_ unbelievers for money ( cor. vi. - ); though we do not feel ourselves warranted to refuse their contributions, if they of their own accord should offer them. acts xxviii. - . . we reject altogether the help of unbelievers in managing or carrying on the affairs of the institution. cor. vi. - . . we intend never to enlarge the field of labor by contracting debts (rom. xiii. ), and afterwards appealing to the church of christ for help, because this we consider to be opposed both to the letter and the spirit of the new testament; but in secret prayer, god helping us, we shall carry the wants of the institution to the lord, and act according to the means that god shall give. . we do not mean to reckon the success of the institution by the amount of money given, or the number of bibles distributed, etc., but by the lord's blessing upon the work (zech. iv. ); and we expect this in the proportion in which he shall help us to wait upon him in prayer. . while we would avoid aiming after needless singularity, we desire to go on simply according to scripture, without compromising the truth; at the same time thankfully receiving any instruction which experienced believers, after prayer, upon scriptural ground, may have to give us concerning the institution. ii. the objects of the institution. . to _assist_ day schools, sunday schools, and adult schools, in which instruction is given upon _scriptural principles_, and as far as the lord may give the means, and supply us with suitable teachers, and in other respects make our path plain, to establish schools of this kind. with this we also combine _the putting of poor children to such day schools_. _a._ by day schools upon scriptural principles, we understand day schools in which the teachers are godly persons,--in which the way of salvation is scripturally pointed out,--and in which no instruction is given opposed to the principles of the gospel. _b._ sunday schools, in which all the teachers are believers, and in which the holy scriptures are alone the foundation of instruction, are such only as the institution assists with the supply of bibles, testaments, etc.; for we consider it unscriptural that any persons who do not profess to know the lord themselves should be allowed to give religious instruction. _c._ the institution does not assist any adult school with the supply of bibles, testaments, spelling-books, etc., except the teachers are believers. . to circulate the holy scriptures. . the third object of this institution is to aid missionary efforts. we desire to assist those missionaries whose proceedings appear to be most according to the scriptures. * * * * * march . to-day we have only one shilling left. this evening, when we came home from our work, we found a brother, our tailor, waiting for us, who brought a new suit of clothes both for brother craik and me, which a brother, whose name was not to be mentioned, had ordered for us. april . yesterday and to-day i had asked the lord to send us twenty pounds, that we might be able to procure a larger stock of bibles and testaments than our small funds of the scriptural knowledge institution would allow us to purchase; and this evening a sister, unasked, promised to give us that sum, adding that she felt a particular pleasure in circulating the holy scriptures, as the simple reading of them had been the means of bringing her to the knowledge of the lord. june . lord's day. i obtained no text yesterday, notwithstanding repeated prayer and reading of the word. this morning i awoke with these words: "my grace is sufficient for thee." as soon as i had dressed myself, i turned to cor. xii. to consider this passage; but in doing so, after prayer, i was led to think that i had not been directed to this portion for the sake of speaking on it, as i at first thought, and i therefore followed my usual practice in such cases, _i. e._ to read on in the scriptures where i left off last evening. in doing so, when i came to heb. xi. - , i felt that this was the text. having prayed, i was confirmed in it, and the lord was pleased to open this passage to me. i preached on it with great enjoyment. it pleased god greatly to bless what i said on that passage, and at least one soul was brought through it to the lord. june . these last three days i have had very little real communion with god, and have therefore been very weak spiritually, and have several times felt irritability of temper. june . i was enabled, by the grace of god, to rise early, and i had nearly two hours in prayer before breakfast. i feel now this morning more comfortable. july . i have prayed much about a master for boys' school, to be established in connection with our little institution. eight have applied for the situation, but none seemed to be suitable. now, at last, the lord has given us a brother, who will commence the work. october . our little institution, established in dependence upon the lord, and supplied by him with means, has now been seven months in operation, and through it have been benefited with instruction,-- . in the sunday school, about children. . in the adult school, about adults. . in the two day schools for boys and the two days schools for girls, children, of whom have been entirely free; the others pay about one third of the expense. there have been also circulated bibles and new testaments. lastly, fifty-seven pounds has been spent to aid missionary exertion. the means which the lord has sent us, as the fruit of many prayers, during these seven months, amount to one hundred and sixty-seven pounds ten shillings and halfpenny. october . we heard a most affecting account of a poor little orphan boy who for some time attended one of our schools, and who seems there, as far as we can judge, to have been brought to a real concern about his soul, through what i said concerning the torments of hell, and who some time ago was taken to the poorhouse, some miles out of bristol. he has expressed great sorrow that he can no longer attend our school and ministry. may this, if it be the lord's will, lead me to do something also for the supply of the _temporal_ wants of poor children, the pressure of which has caused this poor boy to be taken away from our school! november . i spent the greater part of the morning in reading the word and in prayer, and asked also for our daily bread, for we have scarcely any money left. november . i spent almost the whole of the day in prayer and reading the word. i prayed also again for the supply of our temporal wants, but the lord has not as yet appeared. november . saturday. the lord has graciously again supplied our temporal wants during this week, though at the commencement of it we had but little left. i have prayed much this week, for money, more than any other week, as far as i remember, since we have been in bristol. the lord has supplied us through our selling what we did not need, or by our being paid what was owed to us. december . to-day we found that a departed brother had left both to brother craik and me twelve pounds. december , . . since brother craik and i have been laboring in bristol, brethren and sisters have been added to us in fellowship. out of the who have been added to us, have been converted through our instrumentality, and many have been brought into the liberty of the gospel, or reclaimed from backsliding. forty-seven young converts are at gideon, and fifty-six at bethesda. . the income which the lord has given me during this year is:-- . my part of the freewill offerings through the boxes, £ ¼ . money given to me by saints in and out of bristol ------------- altogether £ ¼ . besides this, many articles in provisions, clothing, and furniture, worth to us about january , . we had last evening an especial prayer meeting, for the sake of praising the lord for all his many mercies, which we have received during the past year, and to ask him to continue to us his favor. january . i visited from house to house the people living in orange street, and saw in this way the families living in nine houses, to ascertain whether any individuals wanted bibles, whether they could read, whether they wished their children put to our day schools or sunday school, with the view of helping them accordingly. this afforded opportunities to converse with them about their souls. january . this morning i went again from house to house in orange street. i should greatly delight in being frequently engaged in such work, for it is a most important one; but our hands are so full with other work that we can do but little in this way. january . received, in answer to prayer, from an unexpected quarter, five pounds, for the scriptural knowledge institution. the lord pours in, whilst we seek to pour out. for during the past week, merely among the poor, in going from house to house, fifty-eight copies of the scriptures were sold at reduced prices, the going on with which is most important, but will require much means. january . i have, for these several days, prayed much to ascertain whether the lord will have me to go as a missionary to the east indies, and i am most willing to go, if he will condescend to use me in this way. january . i have been greatly stirred up to pray about going to calcutta as a missionary. may the lord guide me in this matter! (after all my repeated and earnest prayer in the commencement of , and willingness on my part to go, if it were the lord's will, still, he did not send me.) february . in the name of the lord, and in dependence upon him alone for support, we have established a fifth day school for poor children, which to-day has been opened. we have now two boys' schools and three girls' schools. mr. müller having determined to visit germany, chiefly on missionary business, reached london february , and writes:-- this morning i went to the alien office for my passport. on entering the office, i saw a printed paper, in which it is stated that every alien neglecting to renew every six months his certificate of residence, which he receives on depositing his passport, subjects himself to a penalty of fifty pounds, or imprisonment. this law i have ignorantly broken ever since i left london, in . it appeared to me much better to confess at once that i had ignorantly done so than now wilfully break it; _trusting in the lord as it regarded the consequences of the step_. i did so, and _the lord inclined the heart of the officer with whom i had to do to pass over my non-compliance with the law, on account of my having broken it ignorantly_. having obtained my passport, i found an unexpected difficulty in the prussian ambassador refusing to sign it, as it did not contain a description of my person, and therefore i needed to prove that i was the individual spoken of in the passport. this difficulty was not removed for three days, when, _after earnest prayer_, through a paper signed by some citizens of london, to whom i am known, the ambassador was satisfied. this very difficulty, when once the lord had removed it, afforded me cause for thanksgiving; for i now obtained a _new_ passport, worded in a way that, should i ever need it again, will prevent similar difficulties. mr. müller was absent for five weeks, during which time he experienced many answers to prayer and encouragements to faith. april . bristol. yesterday, at one, we landed in london. in answer to prayer, i soon obtained my things from the custom-house, and reached my friends in chancery lane a little before two. june . to-day we had a public meeting on account of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. it is now fifteen months since, in dependence upon the lord for the supply of means, we have been enabled to provide poor children with schooling, circulate the holy scriptures, and aid missionary labors. during this time, though the field of labor has been continually enlarging, and though we have now and then been brought low in funds, the lord has never allowed us to be obliged to stop the work. we have been enabled during this time to establish three day schools, and to connect with the institution two other charity day schools, which, humanly speaking, otherwise would have been closed for want of means. the number of the children that have been thus provided with schooling, in the day schools only, amounts to . the number of copies of the holy scriptures which have been circulated is bibles and new testaments. we have also sent, in aid of missionary labors in canada, in the east indies, and on the continent of europe, one hundred and seventeen pounds, eleven shillings. the whole amount of the free-will offerings put into our hands for carrying on this work from march , , to may , , is £ s. ¾d. june . this morning at two my father-in-law died. june . our little boy is so ill that i have no hope of his recovery. the lord's holy will be done concerning the dear little one. june . my prayer, last evening, was, that god would be pleased to support my dear wife under the trial, should he remove the little one; and to take him soon to himself, thus sparing him from suffering. i did not pray for the child's recovery. it was but two hours after that the dear little one went home. i am so fully enabled to realize that the dear infant is so much better off with the lord jesus than with us, that i scarcely feel the loss at all, and when i weep i weep for joy. july . i have felt for several days weak in my chest. this weakness has been increasing, and to-day i have felt it more than ever. i have thought it well to refrain next week from all public speaking. may the lord grant that i may be brought nearer to him through this, for i am not at all in the state in which i ought to be, and i think sometimes that our late afflictions have been lost upon me, and that the lord will need to chastise me severely. july . to-day brother c----r, formerly a minister in the establishment, who came to us a few days since, began, in connection with the scriptural knowledge institution, to go from house to house to spread the truth as a city missionary. [this was a remarkable interposition of god. brother craik had before this, for some months, been unable, on account of bodily infirmity, to labor in the work of the schools, the circulation of the scriptures, etc., and my own weakness, shortly after brother c----r's arrival, increased so that i was obliged to give up the work entirely. how gracious, therefore, of the lord to send brother c----r, that thus the work might go on! up to july, , this beloved brother was enabled to continue in his work, and thus this little institution was in a most important way enlarged as it regards the field of labor.] august . i feel very weak, and suffer more than before from the disease. i am in doubt whether to leave bristol entirely for a time. i have no money to go away for a change of air. i have had an invitation to stay for a week with a sister in the country, and i think of accepting the invitation, and going to-morrow. august . to-day i had five pounds given to me _for the express purpose of using change of air_. august . to-day i received another five pounds _for the same purpose_. august . to-day, for the first lord's day since our arrival in bristol, i have been kept from preaching through illness. how mercifully has the lord dealt in giving me so much strength for these years! i had another five pounds sent _to aid me in procuring change of air_. how kind is the lord in thus providing me with the means for leaving bristol! september . went with my family to portishead. september . as i clearly understood that the person who lets me his horse has no license, i saw that, being bound as a believer to act according to the laws of the country, i could use it no longer; and as horse exercise seems most important, humanly speaking, for my restoration, and as this is the only horse which is to be had in the place, we came to the conclusion to leave portishead to-morrow. _immediately after_, i received a kind letter from a brother and two sisters in the lord, who live in the isle of wight, which contained a fourth invitation, more pressing than ever, to come and stay with them for some time. in addition to this, they wrote that they had repeatedly prayed about the matter, and were persuaded that i ought to come. this matter has been to-day a subject for prayer. september . we came this morning to the conclusion that _i_ should go to the isle of wight; but we saw not how my wife and child and our servant could accompany me, as we had not sufficient money for travelling expenses; and yet this seemed of importance. the lord graciously removed the difficulty this evening; for we received, _most unexpectedly and unasked for_, five pounds and thirteen shillings, which was owed to us, and also, when we had already retired to rest, a letter was brought, containing a present of two pounds. how very, very kind and tender is the lord! september . this evening we arrived at our friends' in the isle of wight, by whom we were most kindly received. september . last evening, when i retired from the family, i had a desire to go to rest at once, for i had prayed a short while before; and feeling weak in body, the coldness of the night was a temptation to me to pray no further. however, the lord did help me to fall upon my knees; and no sooner had i commenced praying than he shone into my soul, and gave me such a spirit of prayer as i had not enjoyed for many weeks. he graciously once more revived his work in my heart. i enjoyed that nearness to god and fervency in prayer, for more than an hour, for which my soul had been panting for many weeks past. for the first time, during this illness, i had now also a spirit of prayer as regards my health. i could ask the lord earnestly to restore me again, which had not been the case before. i now long to go back again to the work in bristol, yet without impatience, and feel assured that the lord will strengthen me to return to it. i went to bed especially happy, and awoke this morning in great peace, rose sooner than usual, and had again, for more than an hour, real communion with the lord, before breakfast. may he in mercy continue this state of heart to his most unworthy child! october . i have many times had thoughts of giving in print some account of the lord's goodness to me, for the instruction, comfort, and encouragement of the children of god. i have considered to-day all the reasons for and against, and find that there are scarcely any against, and many for it. november . bristol. brother c----r and i have been praying together, the last five days, that the lord would be pleased to send us means for carrying on the work of the scriptural knowledge institution. this evening, a brother gave me six shillings and one penny, being money which he formerly used to pay towards the support of a trade club, which he has lately given up for the lord's sake. november . this evening thirty pounds were given to me; twenty-five pounds for the scriptural knowledge institution, and five pounds for myself. this is a most remarkable answer to prayer. brother c----r and i have prayed repeatedly together during the last week concerning the work, and especially that the lord would be pleased to give us the means to continue, and even enlarge the field. in addition to this, i have several times asked for a supply for myself, and he has kindly granted both these requests. o that i may have grace to trust him more and more! chapter vii. home for destitute orphans. - . franke's works follow him--great undertaking conceived--reasons for establishing an orphan house--prayer for guidance--treasure laid up in heaven--in prayer and in faith, the work is begun. november . this evening i took tea at a sister's house, where i found franke's life. i have frequently, for a long time, thought of laboring in a similar way, on a much smaller scale; not to imitate franke, but in reliance upon the lord. may god make it plain! november . to-day i have had it very much impressed on my heart, no longer merely to _think_ about the establishment of an orphan house, but actually to set about it, and i have been very much in prayer respecting it, in order to ascertain the lord's mind. november . to-day i had ten pounds sent from ireland, for our institution. the lord, in answer to prayer, has given me, in a few days, about fifty pounds. i had asked only for forty pounds. this has been a great encouragement to me, and has still more stirred me up to think and pray about the establishment of an orphan house. nov. . i have been again much in prayer yesterday and to-day about the orphan house, and am more and more convinced that it is of god. may he in mercy guide me! it may be well to enter somewhat minutely upon the reasons which led me to establish an orphan house. through my pastoral labors, through my correspondence, and through brethren who visited bristol, i had constantly cases brought before me, which proved that one of the especial things which the children of god needed in our day, was, _to have their faith strengthened_. i might visit a brother who worked fourteen or even sixteen hours a day at his trade, the necessary result of which was, that not only his body suffered, but his soul was lean, and he had no enjoyment in god. i might point out to him that he ought to work less, in order that his bodily health might not suffer, and that he might gather strength for his inner man, by reading the word of god, by meditation over it, and by prayer. the reply, however, i generally found to be something like this: "but if i work less, i do not earn enough for the support of my family. even now, whilst i work so much, i have scarcely enough." there was no trust in god, no real belief in the truth of that word, "seek ye first the kingdom of god, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." i might reply something like this: "my dear brother, it is not your work which supports your family, but the lord; and he who has fed you and your family when you could not work at all, on account of illness, would surely provide for you and yours; if, for the sake of obtaining food for your inner man, you were to work only for so many hours a day as would allow you proper time for retirement. and is it not the case now that you begin the work of the day after having had only a few hurried moments for prayer; and when you leave off your work in the evening, and mean then to read a little of the word of god, are you not too much worn out in body and mind to enjoy it, and do you not often fall asleep whilst reading the scriptures, or whilst on your knees in prayer?" the brother would allow it was so; he would allow that my advice was good; but still i read in his countenance, even if he should not have actually said so, "how should i get on, if i were to _carry out_ your advice?" i longed, therefore, to have something to point the brother to, as a visible proof that our god and father is the same faithful god that he ever was,--as willing as ever to prove himself the living god, in our day as formerly, _to all who put their trust in him_. again, sometimes i found children of god tried in mind by the prospect of old age, when they might be unable to work any longer, and therefore were harassed by the fear of having to go into the poorhouse. if in such a case i pointed out to them how their heavenly father has always helped those who put their trust in him, they might not _say_ that times have changed; but yet it was evident enough that god was not looked upon by them as the living god. i longed to set something before the children of god whereby they might see that he does not forsake, even in our day, those who rely upon him. another class of persons were brethren in business, who suffered in their souls, and brought guilt on their consciences, by carrying on their business almost in the same way as unconverted persons do. the competition in trade, the bad times, the over-peopled country, were given as reasons why, if the business were carried on simply according to the word of god, it could not be expected to do well. such a brother, perhaps, would express the wish that he might be differently situated, but very rarely did i see _that there was a stand made for god, that there was the holy determination to trust in the living god, and to depend on him, in order that a good conscience might be maintained_. to this class, likewise, i desired to show by a visible proof that god is unchangeably the same. then there was another class of persons, individuals who were in professions in which they could not continue with a good conscience, or persons who were in an unscriptural position with reference to spiritual things; but both classes feared, on account of the consequences, to give up the profession in which they could not abide with god, or to leave their position, lest they should be thrown out of employment. my spirit longed to be instrumental in strengthening their faith, by giving them not only instances from the word of god of his willingness and ability to help all those who rely upon him, but _to show them by proofs_ that he is the same in our day. i well knew _that the word of god ought to be enough_; but i considered that i ought to lend a helping hand to my brethren, if by any means, by this visible proof to the unchangeable faithfulness of the lord, i might strengthen their hands in god; for i remembered what a great blessing my own soul had received through the lord's dealings with his servant a. h. franke, who, in dependence upon the living god alone, established an immense orphan house, which i had seen many times with my own eyes. i therefore judged myself bound to be the servant of the church of christ in the particular point on which i had obtained mercy; namely, _in being able to take god by his word, and to rely upon it_. all these exercises of my soul, which resulted from the fact that so many believers with whom i became acquainted were harassed and distressed in mind, or brought guilt on their consciences on account of not trusting in the lord, were used by god to awaken in my heart the desire of setting before the church at large, and before the world, a proof that he has not in the least changed; and this seemed to me best done by the establishing of an orphan house. it needed to be something which could be seen, even by the natural eye. now, if i, a poor man, simply by prayer and faith, obtained, _without asking any individual_, the means for establishing and carrying on an orphan house, there would be something which, with the lord's blessing, might be instrumental in strengthening the faith of the children of god, besides being a testimony to the consciences of the unconverted of the reality of the things of god. this, then, was the primary reason for establishing the orphan house. i certainly did from my heart desire to be used by god to benefit the bodies of poor children, bereaved of both parents, and seek in other respects, with the help of god, to do them good for this life. i also particularly longed to be used by god in getting the dear orphans trained up in the fear of god; but still, the first and primary object of the work was, and still is, that god might be magnified by the fact that the orphans under my care are provided with all they need, only _by prayer and faith_, without any one being asked by me or my fellow-laborers, whereby it may be seen that god is faithful still, and hears prayer still. that i was not mistaken, has been abundantly proved since november, , both by the conversion of many sinners who have read the accounts which have been published in connection with this work, and also by the abundance of fruit that has followed in the hearts of the saints, for which, from my inmost soul, i desire to be grateful to god, and the honor and glory of which not only is due to him alone, but which i, by his help, am enabled to ascribe to him. november . i have been, every day this week, very much in prayer concerning the orphan house, chiefly entreating the lord to take away every thought concerning it out of my mind if the matter be not of him; and have also repeatedly examined my heart concerning my motives in the matter. but i have been more and more confirmed that it is of god. december . i have again these last days prayed much about the orphan house, and have frequently examined my heart, that if it were at all my desire to establish it for the sake of gratifying myself i might find it out. to that end i have also conversed with brother craik about it, that he might be instrumental in showing me any hidden corruption of my heart concerning the matter, or any other scriptural reason against my engaging in it. the one only reason which ever made me at all doubt as to its being of god that _i_ should engage in this work, is the multiplicity of engagements which i have already. but if the matter be of god, he will in due time send suitable individuals, so that comparatively little of my time will be taken up in this service. this morning i asked the lord especially that he would be pleased to teach me through the instrumentality of brother c.; and i went to him, that he might have an opportunity of probing my heart. for as i desire only the lord's glory, i should be glad to be instructed through the instrumentality of any brother, if the matter be not of him. but brother c., on the contrary, greatly encouraged me in it. therefore, i have this day taken the first actual step in the matter, in having ordered bills to be printed, announcing a public meeting on december , at which i intend to lay before the brethren my thoughts concerning the orphan house, as a means of ascertaining more clearly the lord's mind concerning the matter. december . this evening i was struck, in reading the scriptures, with these words: "open thy mouth wide, and i will fill it." i was led to apply this scripture to the orphan house, and asked the lord for premises, one thousand pounds, and suitable individuals to take care of the children. december . to-day i received the first shilling for the orphan house. december . this afternoon the first piece of furniture was given,--a large wardrobe. this afternoon and evening i was low in spirit as it regards the orphan house, but as soon as i began to speak at the meeting i received peculiar assistance from god. after the meeting, ten shillings was given to me. _there was purposely no collection_, nor did any one speak besides myself; for it was not in the least intended to work upon the feelings, for i sought to be quite sure concerning the mind of god. after the meeting, a sister offered herself for the work. i went home, happy in the lord, and full of confidence that the matter will come to pass, though but ten shillings has been given. december . i have sent to the press a statement, which contains the substance of what i said at the meeting last evening. i have received a letter, in which a brother and sister wrote thus: "we propose ourselves for the service of the intended orphan house, if you think us qualified for it; also to give up all the furniture, etc., which the lord has given us, for its use; and to do this without receiving any salary whatever, believing that if it be the will of the lord to employ us, he will supply all our need," etc. in the evening a brother brought, from several individuals, three dishes, twenty-eight plates, three basins, one jug, four mugs, three salt-stands, one grater, four knives, and five forks. december . while i was praying this morning that the lord would give us a fresh token of his favor concerning the orphan house, a brother brought three dishes, twelve plates, one basin, and one blanket. after this had been given, i thanked god, and asked him to give even this day another encouragement. shortly after, fifty pounds was given, and that by an individual from whom, for several reasons, i could not have expected this sum. thus the hand of god appeared so much the more clearly. even then i was led to pray that this day the lord would give still more. in the evening, accordingly, there was sent, by a sister, twenty-nine yards of print. also a sister offered herself for the work. december . a brother was influenced this day to give four shillings per week, as long as the lord gives the means: eight shillings was given by him as two weeks' subscription. to-day a brother and sister offered themselves, with all their furniture, and all their provisions which they have in the house, if they can be usefully employed in the concerns of the orphan house. december . to-day a sister offered her services for the work. in the evening another sister offered herself for the institution. december . a sister brought, from several friends, ten basins, eight mugs, one plate, five dessert spoons, six teaspoons, one skimmer, one toasting-fork, one flour-dredge, three knives and forks, one sheet, one pillow-case, one table-cloth; also one pound. in the afternoon were sent fifty-five yards of sheeting, and twelve yards of calico. december . i took out of the box in my room one shilling. december . i was rather cast down last evening and this morning about the matter; questioning whether i ought to be engaged in this way, and was led to ask the lord to give me some further encouragement. soon after were sent by a brother two pieces of print, the one seven and the other twenty-three and three fourths yards, six and three fourths yards of calico, four pieces of lining, about four yards altogether, a sheet, and a yard measure. this evening another brother brought a quantity of household articles, and told me that it had been put into the heart of an individual to send to-morrow one hundred pounds. december . this afternoon the same brother brought, from a sister, a counterpane, a flatiron-stand, eight cups and saucers, a sugar-basin, a milk jug, a teacup, sixteen thimbles, five knives and forks, six dessert-spoons, twelve teaspoons, four combs, and two little graters; from another friend a flatiron, and a cup and saucer. at the same time he brought the hundred pounds above referred to. since the publication of the second edition, it has pleased the lord to take to himself the donor of this hundred pounds, and i therefore give, in this present edition, some further account of the donation and the donor. a. l. was known to me almost from the beginning of my coming to bristol, in . she earned her bread by needle-work, by which she gained from two shillings to five shillings per week; the average, i suppose, was not more than three shillings sixpence, as she was weak in body. but i do not remember ever to have heard her utter a word of complaint on account of earning so little. some time before i had been led to establish an orphan house, her father had died, through which event she had come in possession of four hundred and eighty pounds, which sum had been left to her (and the same amount to her brother and two sisters) by her grandmother, but of which her father had had the interest during his lifetime. the father, who had been much given to drinking, died in debt, which debts the children wished to pay; but the rest, besides a. l., did not like to pay in full, and offered to the creditors twenty-five per cent, which they gladly accepted, as they had not the least legal claim upon the children. after the debts had been paid according to this agreement, sister a. l. said to herself, "however sinful my father may have been, yet he was my father, and as i have the means of paying his debts to the full amount, i ought, as a believing child, to do so, seeing that my brother and sisters will not do it." she then went to all the creditors secretly, and paid the full amount of the debts, which took forty pounds more of her money, besides her share, which she had given before: her brother and two sisters now gave fifty pounds each of their property to their mother; but a. l. said to herself, "i am a _child of god_; surely i ought to give my mother twice as much as my brothers and sisters." she therefore gave her mother one hundred pounds. shortly after this she sent me the hundred pounds towards the orphan house. i was not a little surprised when i received this money from her, for i had always known her as a poor girl, and i had never heard anything about her having come into the possession of this money, and her dress had never given me the least indication of an alteration in her circumstances. before, however, accepting this money from her, i had a long conversation with her, in which i sought to probe her as to her motives, and in which i sought to ascertain whether, as i had feared, she might have given this money in the feeling of the moment, without having counted the cost. but i had not conversed long with this beloved sister, before i found that she was, in this particular, a quiet, calm, considerate follower of the lord jesus, and one who desired, in spite of what human reason might say, to act according to the words of our lord, "lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth." "sell that ye have, and give alms." when i remonstrated with her, in order that i might see whether she had counted the cost, she said to me, "the lord jesus has given his _last_ drop of blood for me, and should i not give him this hundred pounds?" she would also have me take five pounds for the poor saints in communion with us. i mention here particularly that this dear sister kept all these things to herself, and did them as much as possible in secret; and during her lifetime, i suppose, not six brethren and sisters among us knew that she had ever possessed four hundred and eighty pounds, or that she had given one hundred pounds towards the orphan house. i relate one instance more. august , , seven months and a half after she had given the hundred pounds, she came one morning to me, and said: "last evening i felt myself particularly stirred up to pray about the funds of the scriptural knowledge institution; but whilst praying, i thought, _what good is it for me to pray for means, if i do not give when i have the means_, and i have therefore brought you this five pounds." as i had reason to believe that, by this time, by far the greater part of her money was gone, i again had a good deal of conversation with her, to see whether she really did count the cost, and whether this donation also was given unto the lord, or from momentary excitement, in which case it was better not to give the money. however, she was at this time also steadfast, grounded upon the word of god; and evidently constrained by the love of christ; and all the effect my conversation had upon her was, that she said, "you must take five shillings in addition to the five pounds, as a proof that i give the five pounds cheerfully." and thus she constrained me to take the five pounds and five shillings.--four things are especially to be noticed about this beloved sister, with reference to all this period of her earthly pilgrimage: . she did all these things in secret, avoiding to the utmost all show about them, and thus proved that she did not desire the praise of man. . she remained, as before, of an humble and lowly mind, and she proved thus that she had done what she did unto the lord, and not unto man. . her dress remained, during all the time that she had this comparative abundance, the same as before. it was clean, yet as simple and as inexpensive as it was at the time when all her income consisted of three shillings and sixpence, or at most five shillings per week. there was not the least difference as to her lodging, dress, manner of life, etc. she remained in every way the poor handmaid of the lord, as to all outward appearance. . but that which is as lovely as the rest, she continued working at her needle all this time. she earned her two shillings-sixpence, or three shillings, or a little more, a week, by her work, as before; whilst she gave away the money in sovereigns or five-pound notes. at last all her money was gone, and that some years before she fell asleep; and as her bodily health never had been good as long as i had known her, and was now much worse, she found herself peculiarly dependent upon the lord, who never forsook her, up to the last moments of her earthly course. her body became weaker and weaker, in consequence of which she was able to work very little, for many months before she died; but the lord supplied her with all she needed, though she never asked for anything. for instance, a sister in communion with us sent her, for many months, all the bread she used. her mouth was full of thanksgiving, even in the midst of the greatest bodily sufferings. december . a sister gave five pounds. december . a friend sent one pound. weekly subscription of four shillings. december . a sister gave me one pound, and a friend sent two shillings and sixpence. december . a brother gave, this evening, a piece of blind line and a dozen of blind tassels. about ten in the evening, a gentleman brought me from an individual, whose name he was not to mention, four pounds, of which i was allowed to take two pounds for the orphan house, and to give the other two pounds to poor believers. december . this evening we had a special meeting for prayer and praise. there have been received into the church, during the past year, . there are men in communion with us, . i have received for my temporal wants, in freewill offerings, presents, etc., £ s. ¼d. during january to may of , numerous donations were made of furniture, provisions, half-worn clothing, and money (varying from one hundred pounds to a halfpenny). encouraged by these _unsolicited_ offerings, mr. müller determined to open the orphan house. april, . this day was set apart for prayer and thanksgiving concerning the orphan house, as it is now opened. in the morning, several brethren prayed, and brother craik spoke on the last verses of psalm xx. in the afternoon, i addressed our day and sunday school children, the orphans, and other children present. in the evening we had another prayer meeting. there are now seventeen children in the orphan house. may . i have now been for some years, and especially these last few months, more or less thinking and praying respecting publishing a short account of the lord's dealings with me. to-day i have at last settled to do so, and have begun to write. may . for these several weeks our income has been little; and though i had prayed many times that the lord would enable us to put by the taxes, yet the prayer remained unanswered. in the midst of it all, my comfort was, that the lord would send help by the time it would be needed. one thing particularly has been a trial to us of late, far more than our own temporal circumstances, which is, that we have scarcely, in any measure, been able to relieve the distress among the poor saints. to-day, the lord, at last, after i had many times prayed to him for these weeks past, answered my prayers, there being seven pounds twelve shillings and one farthing given to me as my part of the freewill offerings through the boxes,--two five-pound notes having been put in yesterday, one for brother craik and one for me. thus the lord has again delivered us, and answered our prayers, and that _not one single hour too late_; for the taxes have not as yet been called for. may he fill my heart with gratitude for this fresh deliverance, and may he be pleased to enable me more and more to trust in him, and to wait patiently for his help? chapter viii. the field widening. - . an unexpected obstacle--implicit submission--a second orphan house proposed--an encouraging text--the new orphan house opened--completed answer to prayer--progress of the lord's work--the oversight of the flock. under date of may , , mr. m. says:-- in the foregoing pages, a statement has been given of the success with which the lord has been pleased to crown the prayers of his servant respecting the establishment of an orphan house in this city. the subject of my prayer was, that he would graciously provide a house, either as a loan or as a gift, or that some one might be led to pay the rent for one; further, that he would give me one thousand pounds for the object, and likewise suitable individuals to take care of the children. a day or two after, i was led to ask, in addition to the above, that he would put it into the hearts of his people to send me articles of furniture, and some clothes for the children. in answer to these petitions, many articles of furniture, clothing, and food were sent, a conditional offer of a house, as a gift, was made, individuals proposed themselves to take care of the children, and various sums of money were given, varying from one hundred pounds to a halfpenny. it may be well to state that the above results have followed in answer to prayer, without any one having been asked by me for one single thing; from which i have refrained, not on account of want of confidence in the brethren, or because i doubted their love to the lord, but that i might see the hand of god so much the more clearly. so far as i remember, i brought even the most minute circumstances concerning the orphan house before the lord in my petitions, being conscious of my own weakness and ignorance. there was, however, one point i never had prayed about, namely, that the lord would send children; for i naturally took it for granted that there would be plenty of applications. the appointed time came, and not even one application was made. this circumstance now led me to lie low before my god in prayer, and to examine my heart once more as to all the motives concerning it; and being able, as formerly, to say, that his glory was my chief aim, _i. e._ that it might be seen that it is not a vain thing to trust in the living god, and still continuing in prayer, i was at last brought to this state, that i could say _from my heart_ that i should rejoice in god being glorified in this matter, though it were _by bringing the whole to nothing_. but as still, after all, it seemed to me more tending to the glory of god to establish and prosper the orphan house, i could then ask him heartily to send applications. i enjoyed now a peaceful state of heart concerning the subject, and was also more assured than ever that god would establish it. _the very next day_ the first application was made, and within a short time forty-three applied. i rented the house no. , wilson street, as being, on account of its cheapness and largeness, very suitable. i have mentioned that we intended to take in the children from the seventh to the twelfth year. but after six applications had been made for children between four and six years of age, it became a subject of solemn and prayerful consideration, whether, as long as there were vacancies, such children should not be received, though so young. i came at last to the conclusion to take in the little girls under seven years of age, for whom application had been made. further, it has been repeatedly brought before me, how desirable it would be to establish also, in this city, an orphan house for _male_ children, and there were even articles sent for _little orphan boys_. partly, then, on account of these reasons; and partly because the institution already opened was quite filled in a few days; and partly because the lord has done hitherto far above what i could have expected; i have at last, after repeated prayer, come to the conclusion, in the name of the lord, and in dependence upon him alone for support, to propose the establishment of an infant orphan house. june . from may up to this day i have been confined to the house, and a part of the time to my bed, on account of a local inflammation, which keeps me from walking. almost every day during this time i have been able to continue writing a narrative of the lord's dealings with me, which had been again laid aside after may , on account of a number of pressing engagements. it is very remarkable that the greatest objection against writing it for the press was want of time. now, through this affliction, which leaves my mind free, and gives me time, on account of confinement to the house, i have been able to write about a hundred quarto pages. june . this morning brother c----r and i prayed unitedly, chiefly about the schools and the circulation of the scriptures. besides asking for blessings upon the work, we have also asked the lord for the means which are needed; for on july , seventeen pounds ten shillings will be due for the rent of school-rooms, and, besides this, we want at least forty pounds more to go on with the circulation of the scriptures, to pay the salaries of the masters, etc. towards all this we have only about seven pounds. i also prayed for the remainder of the thousand pounds for the orphan house. june . this evening brother c----r and i found that the lord has not only been pleased to send us, through the offerings which have come in during the last week, in answer to our prayers, the seventeen pounds ten shillings which will be due for the rent of two school-rooms on july , but that we have five pounds more than is needed. thus the lord once more has answered our prayers. july . for some weeks past we have not been able to pay the salary of the masters and governesses _a month in advance_, but have been obliged to pay it _weekly_. brother c----r and i have lately prayed repeatedly together respecting the funds, but we were now brought so low, that we should not have been able to pay even this _weekly_ salary of the teachers, had not the lord most remarkably helped us again to-day. for, besides one pound, which was given to us, this evening a brother gave eight pounds, which sum had been made up by a number of his workmen _paying weekly one penny each_, of their own accord, towards our funds. the money had been collecting for many months, and, in this our necessity, it had been put into the heart of this brother to bring it. july . this evening, from six to half past nine, we had a meeting for inquirers. there came twelve fresh cases before us. october . to-day, in dependence upon the lord alone for means, we engaged a brother as a master for a sixth day school. on account of the many deliverances which we have had of late, we have not hesitated to enlarge the field, as another boys' school was greatly needed. october . this evening twenty-five pounds was given to me for the scriptural knowledge institution. thus the lord has already given the means of defraying the expenses of the new boys' school for some months to come. october . to-day, after having many times prayed respecting the matter, i have at last engaged a sister as matron for the infant orphan house, never having been able, up to this day, to meet with an individual who seemed suitable, though there has been money enough in hand, for some time past, for commencing this work, and there have been applications made for several infant orphans. october . to-day we obtained, without any trouble, through the kind hand of god, very suitable premises for the infant orphan house. november . there was given by a brother one hundred pounds, fifty pounds of which was previously promised, to insure the rent for premises. it is a remarkable fact, concerning this donation, that i had, in december of last year, repeatedly asked the lord to incline the heart of this brother to give this hundred pounds, and i made a memorandum of this prayer in my journal of december , . on january , , fifty pounds was promised by him, and on november , fifty pounds besides that sum was given; but it was not till some days after, that i remembered that the very sum for which i had asked the lord had been given. when it came to my mind that this prayer had been noted down in my journal, and i showed it to the donor, we rejoiced together; _he_, to have been the instrument in giving, and _i_ to have had the request granted. november . on account of many pressing engagements, i had not been led, for some time past, to pray respecting the funds. but _being in great need_, i was led, yesterday morning, earnestly to ask the lord; and in answer to this petition a brother gave me, last evening, ten pounds. he had had it in his heart, for several months past, to give this sum, but had been hitherto kept from it, not having the means. just now, in this our great necessity, the lord furnished him with the means, and we were helped in this way. in addition to this ten pounds, i received last evening a letter with five pounds, from a sister whom i never saw, and who has been several times used by god as an instrument to supply our wants. she writes thus: "it has been so much on my mind lately to send you some money, that i feel as if there must be some need, which the lord purposes to honor me by making me the instrument of supplying. i therefore enclose you five pounds, all i have in the house at this moment." december . one pound, with mark ix. - : "and taking a little child, he set him in the midst of them," etc., a most encouraging passage for this work, the force of which i had never felt before. december . this day was set apart for prayer and thanksgiving respecting the infant orphan house, which was opened on november . in the morning we had a prayer meeting. in the afternoon, besides prayer and thanksgiving, i addressed the children of our day schools and the orphans, about , on ecclesiastes xii. . in addition to the items mentioned above, donations were received during the year, of money, food, clothes, books, boxes, coal-hods, ornaments (to be sold), etc.; also, the offer of gratuitous medical attendance, and medicine. up to the close of , seven hundred and seventy pounds and ninepence halfpenny had been given, and forty pounds promised. december . we had this evening a prayer meeting to praise the lord for his goodness during the past year, and to ask him for a continuance of his favors. during the past year there have been received into the church, ; and the lord has been pleased to give me, as it regards my temporal supplies, £ s. d. january , . this evening the two churches had again an especial prayer meeting. january . to-day a sister called and told me about the conversion of her father, who, in his eightieth year, after having for many years lived openly in sin, is at last brought to the knowledge of the lord. this sister had long prayed for the conversion of her father, and at last, though only after twenty years, the lord gave her the desire of her heart. may . there are now sixty-four children in the two orphan houses, and two more are expected, which will fill the two houses. may . the narrative of some of the lord's dealings with me is now near being published, which has led me again most earnestly this day week, and repeatedly since, to ask the lord that he would be pleased to give me what is wanting of the one thousand pounds, for which sum i have asked him on behalf of the orphans; for though, in my own mind, the thing is as good as done, so much so that i have repeatedly been able to thank god that he will surely give me every shilling of that sum, yet to others this would not be enough. as the whole matter, then, about the orphan house had been commenced for the glory of god, that in this way before the world and the church there might be another visible proof that the lord delights in answering prayer; and as there was yet a part of the thousand pounds wanting; and _as i earnestly desired the book might not leave the press_ before every shilling of that sum had been given in answer to prayer, _without one single individual having been asked by me for anything_, that thus i might have the sweet privilege of bearing my testimony for god in this book;--for these reasons, i say, i have given myself earnestly to prayer about this matter since may . on may came in seven pounds and ten shillings, and on may , three pounds. on may , a lady, whom i never saw before, called on me, and gave me forty pounds. this circumstance has greatly encouraged me; for the lord showed me thereby, afresh, his willingness to continue to send us _large sums_, and that they can even come from individuals whom we have never seen before. on may , three pounds and six shillings were sent, from two unexpected quarters. on may was sent, anonymously, a parcel of worn clothes, from london, and a sovereign. to-day (may ) i received again four pounds three shillings and sixpence; and also a parcel was sent from a considerable distance, containing seven pairs of socks, and the following trinkets, to be sold for the support of the orphans: one gold pin with an irish pearl, fifteen irish pearls, two pins, two brooches, two lockets, one seal, two studs, eleven rings, one chain, and one bracelet, all of gold. june . to-day i gave myself once more earnestly to prayer respecting the remainder of the thousand pounds. this evening five pounds were given, so that now the whole sum is made up. during eighteen months and ten days this petition has been brought before god almost daily. from the moment i asked till the lord granted it fully, i had never been allowed to doubt that he would give every shilling of that sum. often have i praised him beforehand, in the assurance that he would grant my request. the thing after which we have especially to seek in prayer is, that we believe that we receive, according to mark xi. : "_what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them._" as the lord has so greatly condescended to listen to my prayers, and as i consider it one of the particular talents which he has intrusted to me to exercise faith upon his promises, as it regards my own temporal wants and those of others; and as an orphan house for _boys_ above seven years of age seems greatly needed in this city; and as also without it we know not how to provide for the little _boys_ in the infant orphan house, when they are above seven years of age, i purpose to establish an orphan house for about forty boys above seven years of age. july . the same friend who gave me on may , , forty pounds for the orphans, and whom, up to that time, i had never seen, gave four hundred and sixty pounds more, being altogether five hundred pounds. it is now three years and four months since brother craik and i began, in dependence upon the lord for funds, to seek to help the spread of the gospel through the instrumentality of schools, the circulation of the holy scriptures, and by aiding missionary exertions. since then there have been circulated, through our instrumentality, , copies of the scriptures; four day schools, for poor children, have been _established_ by us; , children have been instructed in the six day schools, and children are now in those six day schools. besides this, a sunday school and an adult school have been supplied with all they needed, and missionary exertions in the east indies, in upper canada, and on the continent of europe, have been aided. in addition to this, the word of god has been preached from house to house among the poor, in connection with the scriptural knowledge institution, by brother c----r, within the last two years. on the th of august, , the preceding portion of this narrative was published. aug. . to-day two more children were received into the infant orphan house, which makes up our full number, sixty-six in the girls' and infant orphan houses. september . i have been looking about for a house for the orphan boys, these last three days. everything else has been provided. the lord has given suitable individuals to take care of the children, money, etc. in his own time he will give a house also. september . it was to-day particularly impressed upon my heart that i ought to seek for more retirement, though the work should _apparently_ suffer ever so much; and that arrangements should be made whereby i may be able to visit the brethren more, as an _unvisited_ church will sooner or later become an _unhealthy church_. pastors, as fellow-laborers, are greatly needed among us. september . i have for a long time been too much outwardly engaged. yesterday morning i spent about three hours in the vestry of gideon, to be able to have more time for retirement. i meant to do the same in the afternoon, but before i could leave the house i was called on, and thus one person after the other came, till i had to go out. thus it has been again to-day. october . for a long time past brother craik and i have felt the importance of more pastoral visiting, and it has been _one of our greatest trials_ that we have been unable to give more time to it. this evening we had purposely a meeting of the two churches, at which brother craik and i, and a brother from devonshire, spoke on: i. the importance of pastoral visiting. ii. the particular obstacles which hindered us in attending to it. iii. the question whether there was any way of removing some of the obstacles. i. as to the importance of pastoral visiting, the following points were mentioned: . watching over the saints, by means of visiting them, to prevent coldness, or to recover them from backsliding. . to counsel and advise them in family affairs, in their business, and in spiritual matters. . to keep up that loving and familiar intercourse which is so desirable between saints and those who have the oversight of them. these visits should be, if possible, frequent; but in our case there have been several obstacles in the way. ii. the particular obstacles in our case are: . the largeness of the number who are in communion with us. one hundred would be quite as many as we have strength to visit regularly, and as often as would be desirable; but there are nearly four hundred in fellowship with us. . the distance of the houses of the saints from our own dwellings, as many live more than two miles off. . the lord's blessing upon our labors. not one year has passed away, since we have been in bristol, without more than fifty having been added to our number, each of whom, in general, needed several times to be conversed with before being admitted into fellowship. . that brother craik and i have each of us the care of two churches. at the first sight it appears as if the work is thus divided, but the double number of meetings, etc., nearly double the work. . the mere ruling, and taking care, in general, of a large body of believers, irrespective of the other work, takes much more time, and requires much more strength, than the taking care of a small body of believers, as we, by grace, desire not to allow known sin among us. . the position which we have in the church at large brings many brethren to us who travel through bristol, who call on us, or lodge with us, and to whom, according to the lord's will, we have to give some time. . in my own case, an extensive needful correspondence. . the weakness of body on the part of both of us. when the preaching is done,--when strangers who lodge with us are gone,--when the calls at our house are over,--when the needful letters, however briefly, are written,--when the necessary church business is settled,--our minds are often so worn out that we are glad to be quiet. . but suppose we have bodily strength remaining, after the above things have been attended to, yet the frame of mind is not always so as that one could visit. after having been particularly tried by church matters, which in so large a body does not rarely occur, or being cast down in one's own soul, one may be fit for the closet, but not for visiting the saints. . lastly, in my own case, no small part of my time is taken up by attending to the affairs of the orphan houses, schools, the circulation of the scriptures, the aiding missionary efforts, and other work connected with the scriptural knowledge institution. iii. what is to be done under these circumstances? . in the days of the apostles there would have been more brethren to take the oversight of so large a body as we are. the lord has not laid upon us a burden which is too heavy for us; he is not a hard master. it is evident that he does not mean us _even to attempt to visit all the saints_ as much as is evidently needful, and much less as frequently as it would be desirable. we mention this, to prevent uncomfortable feelings on the part of the dear saints under our pastoral care, who find themselves not as much visited as they used to be when we came to bristol, when the number of them was not seventy, and now it is about four hundred, and when in many other respects the work in our hands was not half so much as it is now, and when we had much more bodily strength. . it is therefore evident that there are other pastors needed; not nominal pastors, but such as the lord has called, to whom he has given a pastor's heart and pastoral gifts. . such may be raised up by the lord from our own number, or the lord may send them from elsewhere. . but in the mean time we should at least see whether there are not helpers among us. . as to the work itself, in order that time may be saved, it appears desirable that the two churches, bethesda and gideon, should be united into one, that the breaking of bread should be alternately, and that the number of weekly meetings should be reduced. october . to-day the lord has given me a house for the orphan boys, in the same street in which the other two orphan houses are. mr. müller's health having suffered from his cares, money was sent him from unexpected sources, to be used in travelling and recreation. review of the year . . there are now eighty-one children in the three orphan houses, and nine brethren and sisters, who have the care of them. ninety, therefore, daily sit down to table. lord, look on the necessities of thy servant! . the schools require as much help as before; nay, more, particularly the sunday school, in which there are at present about children, and in the day schools about . lord, thy servant is a poor man; but he has trusted in thee, and made his boast in thee, before the sons of men; therefore let him not be confounded! let it not be said all this was enthusiasm, and therefore it is come to naught! . my temporal supplies have been £ s. ½d. chapter ix. trial. . the ministry of sickness--peace of mind--jesus a present help--deep poverty--pleading with god--united prayer. january , . i feel little better in my head, though my general health seems improved; but my kind physician says i am much better, and advises me now change of air. this evening a sister, who resides about fifty miles from hence, and who is quite unacquainted with the medical advice given to me this morning, sent me fifteen pounds for the express purpose of change of air; and wrote that she felt assured, from having been similarly afflicted, that nothing would do me so much good, humanly speaking, as quiet and change of air. january . this is the ninth lord's day that i have been kept from ministering in the word. my affliction is connected with a great tendency to irritability of temper; yea, with some satanic feeling, foreign to me even naturally. january . to-day i went with my family to trowbridge. jan. . lord's day. i have spent several hours in prayer to-day, and read on my knees, and prayed for two hours over psalm lxiii. god has blessed my soul much to-day. my soul is now brought into that state that i delight myself in the will of god, as it regards my health. yea, i can now say, _from my heart_, i would not have this disease removed till god, by its means, has bestowed the blessing for which it was sent. january . i have had, since yesterday afternoon, less suffering in my head than for the last eight days; though it is even now far from being well. i have still an inward assurance, on account of the spiritual blessings which the lord has granted to me, that through this affliction he is only purifying me for his blessed service, and that i shall be soon restored to the work. to-day, also, god has continued to me fervency of spirit, which i have now enjoyed for three days following. he has to-day, also, drawn out my soul into much real communion with himself, and into holy desires to be more conformed to his dear son. when god gives a spirit of prayer, how easy then to pray! nevertheless, it was given to me in the use of the means, as i fell on my knees last saturday, to read his word with meditation, and to turn it into prayer. to-day i spent about three hours in prayer over psalms lxiv. and lxv. in reference to that precious word, "o thou that hearest prayer," (ps. lxv. ,) i asked the lord the following petitions, and entreated him to record them in heaven, and to answer them. . that he would give me grace to glorify him by a submissive and patient spirit under my affliction. . that as i was enabled now, and _only now from my heart_, to praise god for this affliction, he would not remove his hand from me until he had qualified me for his work more than i have been hitherto. . that he would be pleased to grant that the work of conversion, through the instrumentality of brother craik and myself, might not cease, but go on as much now as when we first came to bristol, yea, more abundantly than even then. . that he would be pleased to give more real spiritual prosperity to the church under our care than ever we have as yet enjoyed. . having praised him for the sale of so many copies of my narrative in so short a time, i entreated him to cause every copy to be disposed of. . i asked him to continue to let his rich blessing rest upon this little work, and more abundantly, so that many may be converted through it, and many of the children of god truly benefited by it, and that thus i might now be speaking through it, though laid aside from active service. . i asked him for his blessing, in the way of conversion, to rest upon the orphans, and upon the sunday and day-school children under our care. . i asked him for means to carry on these institutions, and to enlarge them. these are some of the petitions which i have asked of my god this evening, in connection with this his own word. i believe _he has heard me_. i believe he will make it manifest in his own good time that _he has heard_ me, and i have recorded these my petitions, this th day of january, , that when god has answered them he may get, through this, glory to his name. [whilst writing this second part, i add to the praise of the lord, and for the encouragement of the children of god, that petitions , , , , and , have been _fully_ answered, and the other petitions, likewise, in part.] january . tuesday. a blessed day. how very good is the lord! fervency of spirit, through his grace, is continued to me; though this morning, but for the help of god, i should have lost it again. the weather has been very cold for several days; but to-day i suffered much, either because it was colder than before, or because i felt it more, owing to the weakness of my body, and having taken so much medicine. i arose from my knees and stirred the fire, but i still remained very cold. i was a little irritated by this. i moved to another part of the room, but felt the cold still more. at last, having prayed for some time, i was obliged to rise up and take a walk to promote circulation. i now entreated the lord on my walk that this circumstance might not be permitted to rob me of the precious communion which i have had with him the last three days; for this was the object at which satan aimed. i confessed also my sin of irritability on account of the cold, and sought to have my conscience cleansed through the blood of jesus. he had mercy upon me, my peace was restored, and when i returned i sought the lord again in prayer, and had uninterrupted communion with him. his health remaining feeble, mr. m. left england on april , for germany, and returned to bristol may . he continues his narrative:-- may . this evening i went to the prayer meeting at gideon. i read psalm ciii., and was able to thank the lord publicly for my late affliction. this is the first time that i have taken any part in the public meetings of the brethren since november , . july . the funds, which were this day twelvemonth about seven hundred and eighty pounds, are now reduced to about twenty pounds; but, thanks be to the lord, my faith is as strong, or stronger, than it was when we had the larger sum in hand; nor has he at any time, from the commencement of the work, allowed me to distrust him. nevertheless, as our lord will be inquired of, and as real faith is manifested as such by leading to prayer, i gave myself to prayer with brother t----, of the boys' orphan house, who had called on me, and who, besides my wife and brother craik, is the only individual to whom i speak about the state of the funds. while we were praying, an orphan child from frome was brought, and some believers at frome, having collected among them five pounds, sent this money with the child. thus we received the first answer at a time of need. _we have given notice for seven children to come in, and purpose to give notice for five more, though our funds are so low, hoping that god will look on our necessities._ july and . these two days we have had two especial prayer meetings, from six to nine in the evening, to commend publicly to the lord the boys' orphan house. our funds are how very low. there are about twenty pounds in hand, and in a few days thirty pounds, at least, will be needed; but i _purposely_ avoided saying anything about our present necessities, and spoke only to the praise of god, about the abundance with which our gracious father, "the father of the fatherless," has hitherto supplied us. this was done in order that the hand of god, in sending help, may be so much the more clearly seen. july . this evening i was walking in our little garden, meditating on heb. xiii. , "jesus christ the same yesterday, and to-day, and forever." whilst meditating on his unchangeable love, power, wisdom, etc., and turning all, as i went on, into prayer respecting myself; and whilst applying likewise his unchangeable love, and power, and wisdom, etc., both to my present spiritual and temporal circumstances,--all at once the present need of the orphan houses was brought to my mind. immediately i was led to say to myself, jesus in his love and power has hitherto supplied me with what i have needed for the orphans, and in the same unchangeable love and power he will provide me with what i may need for the future. a flow of joy came into my soul whilst realizing thus the unchangeableness of our adorable lord. about one minute after, a letter was brought me, enclosing a bill for twenty pounds. august . i have not one penny in hand for the orphans. in a day or two again many pounds will be needed. my eyes are up to the lord. _evening._ before this day is over, i have received from a sister five pounds. she had some time since put away her trinkets, to be sold for the benefit of the orphans. this morning, whilst in prayer, it came to her mind, "i have this five pounds, and owe no man anything, therefore it would be better to give this money at once, as it may be some time before i can dispose of the trinkets." she therefore brought it, little knowing that there was not a penny in hand. august . to-day sixteen believers were baptized. among those who were baptized was an aged brother of above eighty-four years, and one above seventy. for the latter, his believing wife had prayed thirty-eight years, and at last the lord answered her prayers in his conversion. august . i have been waiting on the lord for means, as the matron's books from the girls' orphan house have been brought, and there is no money in hand to advance for housekeeping. but, as yet, the lord has not been pleased to send help. as the matron called to-day for money, one of the laborers gave two pounds of his own, for the present necessities. september . the lord in his wisdom and love has not yet sent help. whence it is to come, need not be my care. but _i believe_ god will, in due time, send help. his hour is not yet come. as there was money needed in the boys' orphan house also, the same brother just alluded to gave two pounds for that also. thus we were delivered at this time likewise. but now his means are gone. this is the most trying hour that as yet i have had in the work, as it regards means; but i know that i shall yet praise the lord for his help. september . our hour of trial continues still. the lord mercifully has given enough to supply our daily necessities; but he gives _by the day_ now, and almost _by the hour_, as we need it. nothing came in yesterday. i have besought the lord again and again, both yesterday and to-day. it is as if the lord said: "mine hour is not yet come." but i have faith in god. i believe that he surely will send help, though i know not whence it is to come. many pounds are needed within a few days, and there is not a penny in hand. this morning two pounds was given for the present necessities, by one of the laborers in the work. _evening._ this very day the lord sent again some help to encourage me to continue to wait on him, and to trust in him. as i was praying this afternoon respecting the matter, i felt fully assured that the lord would send help, and praised him beforehand for his help, and asked him to encourage our hearts through it. i have been also led, yesterday and to-day, to ask the lord especially that he would not allow my faith to fail. a few minutes after i had prayed, brother t---- came and brought four pounds one shilling and fivepence, which had come in in several small donations. he told me, at the same time, that to-morrow the books will be brought from the infant orphan house, when money must be advanced for housekeeping. i thought for a moment it might be well to keep three pounds of this money for that purpose. but it occurred to me immediately, "_sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof._" the lord can provide by to-morrow much more than i need; and i therefore sent three pounds to one of the sisters whose quarterly salary was due, and the remaining one pound one shilling and fivepence to the boys' orphan house for housekeeping. thus i am still penniless. my hope is in god; he will provide. september . this morning the books were brought from the infant orphan house, and the matron sent to ask when she should fetch them, implying when they would have been looked over, and when money would be advanced for housekeeping. i said, "to-morrow," though i had not a single penny in hand. about an hour after, brother t---- sent me a note, to say that he had received one pound this morning, and that last evening a brother had sent twenty-nine pounds of salt, forty-four dozen of onions, and twenty-six pounds of groats.[ ] [footnote : groats. oats or other grain, with the hulls removed.--ed.] september . the time had come that i had to send money to the infant orphan house, but the lord had not sent any more. i gave, therefore, the pound which had come in yesterday, and two shillings and twopence which had been put into the box in my house, trusting to the good lord to send in more. september . it has not pleased my gracious lord to send me help as yet. yesterday and to-day i have been pleading with god eleven arguments why he would be graciously pleased to send help. the arguments which i plead with god are:-- . that i set about the work for the glory of god, _i. e._ that there might be a visible proof, by god supplying, _in answer to prayer only_, the necessities of the orphans, that he is the _living_ god, and most willing, even in _our_ day, to answer prayer; and that, therefore, he would be pleased to send supplies. . that god is the "father of the fatherless," and that he, therefore, as their father, would be pleased to provide. psalm lxviii. . . that i have received the children in the name of jesus, and that therefore he, in these children, has been received, and is fed, and is clothed; and that therefore he would be pleased to consider this. mark ix. , . . that the faith of many of the children of god has been strengthened by this work hitherto, and that, if god were to withhold the means for the future, those who are weak in faith would be staggered; whilst, by a continuance of means, their faith might still further be strengthened. . that many enemies would laugh, were the lord to withhold supplies, and say, did we not foretell that this enthusiasm would come to nothing? . that many of the children of god, who are uninstructed, or in a carnal state, would feel themselves _justified_ to continue their alliance with the world in the work of god, and to go on as heretofore in their unscriptural proceedings respecting similar institutions, so far as the obtaining of means is concerned, if he were not to help me. . that the lord would remember that i am his child, and that he would graciously pity me, and remember that _i_ cannot provide for these children, and that therefore he would not allow this burden to lie upon me long without sending help. . that he would remember likewise my fellow-laborers in the work, who trust in him, but who would be tried were he to withhold supplies. . that he would remember that i should have to dismiss the children from under our scriptural instruction to their former companions. . that he would show that those were mistaken who said, that, _at the first_, supplies might be expected, while the thing was new, but not afterwards. . that i should not know, were he to withhold means, what construction i should put upon all the many most remarkable answers to prayer which he had given me heretofore in connection with this work, and which most fully have shown to me that it is of god. in some small measure i now understand, experimentally, the meaning of that word, "_how long_," which so frequently occurs in the prayers of the psalms. but even now, by the grace of god, my eyes are up unto him only, and i believe that he will send help. sept. . monday morning. neither saturday nor yesterday had any money come in. it appeared to me now needful to take some steps on account of our need, _i. e._ to go to the orphan houses, call the brethren and sisters together (who, except brother t----, had never been informed about the state of the funds), state the case to them, see how much money was needed for the present, tell them that amidst all this trial of faith i still believed that god would help, and to pray with them. especially, also, i meant to go for the sake of telling them that no more articles must be purchased than we have the means to pay for, but to let there be nothing lacking in any way to the children, as it regards nourishing food and needful clothing; for i would rather at once send them away than that they should lack. i meant to go for the sake also of seeing whether there were still articles remaining which had been sent for the purpose of being sold, or whether there were any articles really needless, that we might turn them into money. i felt that the matter was now come to a solemn crisis. about half-past nine sixpence came in, which had been put anonymously into the box at gideon chapel. this money seemed to me like an earnest that god would have compassion and send more. about ten, after i had returned from brother craik, to whom i had unbosomed my heart again, whilst once more in prayer for help, a sister called who gave two sovereigns to my wife for the orphans, stating that she had felt herself stirred up to come, and that she had delayed coming already too long. a few minutes after, when i went into the room where she was, she gave me two sovereigns more, and all this without knowing the least about our need. thus the lord most mercifully has sent us a little help, to the great encouragement of my faith. a few minutes after i was called on for money from the infant orphan house, to which i sent two pounds, and one pound sixpence to the boys' orphan house, and one pound to the girls' orphan house. to-day i saw a young brother who, as well as one of his sisters, has been brought to the knowledge of the lord through my narrative. sept. . the good lord, in his wisdom, still sees it needful to keep us very low. but this afternoon brother t---- called, and told me that one of our fellow-laborers had sold his metal watch, and two gold pins, for one pound one shilling, that nine shillings sixpence had come in, and that two of our fellow-laborers had sent two lots of books of their own, nineteen and twenty-one in number, to be sold for the orphans. sept. . still the trial continues. only nine shillings came in to-day, given by one of the laborers. in the midst of this great trial of faith the lord still mercifully keeps me in great peace. he also allows me to see that our labor is not in vain; for yesterday died leah culliford, one of the orphans, about nine years old, truly converted, and brought to the faith some months before her departure. sept. . no help has come yet. this morning i found it was absolutely needful to tell the brethren and sisters about the state of the funds, and to give necessary directions as to going into debt, etc. we prayed together, and had a very happy meeting. they all seemed comfortable. twelve shillings sixpence was taken out of the boxes in the three houses, twelve shillings one of the laborers gave, and one pound one shilling had come in for needlework done by the children. one of the sisters, who is engaged in the work, sent a message after me, not to trouble myself about her salary, for she should not want any for a twelvemonth. sept. . i met again this morning with the brethren and sisters for prayer, as the lord has not yet sent help. after prayer one of the laborers gave me all the money he had, sixteen shillings, saying that it would not be upright to pray, if he were not to give what he had. one of the sisters told me that in six days she would give six pounds, which she had in the savings bank for such a time of need. up to this day, the matrons of the three houses had been in the habit of paying the bakers and the milk-man weekly, _because they had preferred to receive the payments in this way_, and sometimes it had thus been also with the butcher and grocer. but now, as the lord deals out to us _by the day_, we consider it would be wrong to go on any longer in this way, as the week's payment might become due, and we have no money to meet it; and thus those with whom we deal might be inconvenienced by us, and we be found acting against the commandment of the lord, "owe no man anything." rom. xiii. . from this day, and henceforward, whilst the lord gives to us our supplies by the day, we purpose, therefore, to pay at once for every article as it is purchased, and never to buy any thing except we can pay for it at once, however much it may seem to be needed, and however much those with whom we deal may wish to be paid only by the week. the little which was owed was paid off this day. sept. . _saturday._ we met again this morning for prayer. god comforts our hearts. we are looking for help. i found that there were provisions enough for to-day and to-morrow, but there was no money in hand to take in bread as usual, in order that the children might not have newly baked bread. this afternoon one of the laborers, who had been absent for several days from bristol, returned, and gave one pound. this evening we met again for prayer, when i found that ten shillings sixpence more had come in since the morning. with this one pound ten shillings sixpence we were able to buy, even this saturday evening, the usual quantity of bread (as it might be difficult to get stale bread on monday morning), and have some money left. god be praised, who gave us grace to come to the decision not to take any bread to-day, as usual, nor to buy anything for which we cannot pay at once. we were very comfortable, thankfully taking this money out of our father's hands, as a proof that he still cares for us, and that, in his own time, he will send us larger sums. chapter x. deliverance. . "perplexed but not in despair"--faith justified--a lesson of obedience--bountiful supplies--spiritual ingathering--a day of mercies--timely aid--a season of plenty--obedience rewarded. sept. , . lord's day afternoon. we met again for prayer respecting supplies for the orphans. we are in peace, and our hope is in god, that he graciously will appear, though but one shilling has come in since last evening. sept. . the trial still continues. it is now more and more trying, even to faith, as each day comes. but i am sure god will send help, if we can but wait. one of the laborers had had a little money come in, of which he gave twelve shillings sixpence; another laborer gave eleven shillings eightpence, being all the money she had left: this, with seventeen shillings sixpence, which partly had come in, and partly was in hand, enabled us to pay what needed to be paid, and to purchase provisions, so that nothing yet, in any way, has been lacking. this evening i was rather tried respecting the long delay of larger sums coming; but being led to go to the scriptures for comfort, my soul was greatly refreshed, and my faith again strengthened, by psalm xxxiv., so that i went very cheerfully to meet with my dear fellow-laborers for prayer. i read to them the psalm, and sought to cheer their hearts through the precious promises contained in it. sept. . brother t. had twenty-five shillings in hand, and i had three shillings. this one pound eight shillings enabled us to buy the meat and bread which was needed, a little tea for one of the houses, and milk for all: no more than this is needed. thus the lord has provided not only for this day, but there is bread for two days in hand. now, however, we are come to an extremity. the funds are exhausted. the laborers who had a little money have given as long as they had any left. now observe how the lord helped us! a lady from the neighborhood of london, who brought a parcel with money from her daughter, arrived four or five days since in bristol, and took lodgings next door to the boys' orphan house. this afternoon she herself kindly brought me the money, amounting to three pounds two shillings and sixpence. we had been reduced so low as to be on the point of selling those things which could be spared; but this morning i had asked the lord, if it might be, to prevent the necessity of our doing so. that the money had been so near the orphan houses for several days without being given, is a plain proof that it was from the beginning in the heart of god to help us; but, because he delights in the prayers of his children, he had allowed us to pray so long; also to try our faith, and to make the answer much the sweeter. it is indeed a precious deliverance. i burst out into loud praises and thanks the first moment i was alone after i had received the money. i met with my fellow-laborers again this evening for prayer and praise; their hearts were not a little cheered. this money was this evening divided, and will comfortably provide for all that will be needed to-morrow. sept. . morning. the lord has again kindly sent in a little. last evening was given to me one shilling and sixpence, and this morning one pound three shillings. evening. this evening the lord sent still further supplies; eight pounds eleven shillings and twopence halfpenny came in, as a further proof that the lord is not unmindful of us. there was in the box of the girls' orphan house one pound one shilling, and in that of the boys' orphan house one pound seven shillings and twopence halfpenny. one of the laborers, in accordance with her promise this day week, gave six pounds three shillings. about eighteen months ago she saw it right no longer to have money for herself in the savings bank, and she therefore, in her heart, gave the money which she had there to the orphan houses, intending to draw it in a time of need. some time since (she told me this evening) she drew a part of it to buy several useful articles for the orphan houses; now the sum was reduced to six pounds. when she found out the present need, she went this day week to the savings bank, and gave notice that she wished to draw her money to-day. sept. . both yesterday and to-day we have again assembled for prayer and praise. we are in no immediate want, but on the th, nineteen pounds ten shillings will be due for the rent of the three orphan houses. to-day there was only four shillings and sevenpence in hand for the other objects of the institution, though it was the payday for some of the teachers. my comfort was the _living_ god. during this week he had helped me so repeatedly and in such a remarkable way, as it regards the orphan houses, that it would have been doubly sinful not to have trusted in him for help under this fresh difficulty. no money came in this morning. about two, the usual time when the teachers are paid, a sovereign was given, with which i went immediately to brother t., who attends to this part of the work, to pay, at least in part, the weekly salaries. i found that he had received a sovereign in the morning. by means of this sovereign, together with the one which i had received _just at the moment when it was needed_, we were helped through this day. sept. . yesterday and the previous days we have continued to assemble for prayer. in four days the rent for the orphan houses will be due, and we have nothing towards it; also the housekeeping money in the three houses is now again gone. may the lord have compassion on us, and continue to send us help! this morning there was found nine shillings and sixpence in the box in my house. we met yesterday again for prayer. to-day i was not able to go, on account of indisposition; i sent, therefore, to brother t. to request him to divide the eighteen shillings and sixpence (ten shillings of which had come in last evening, and eight shillings and sixpence of which we had in hand) between the three matrons. sept. . saturday evening. prayer has been made for several days past respecting the rent, which is due this day. i have been looking out for it, though i knew not whence a shilling was to come. this morning brother t. called on me, and, as no money had come in, we prayed together, and continued in supplication from ten till a quarter to twelve. twelve o'clock struck, the time when the rent ought to have been paid, but no money had been sent. for some days past i have repeatedly had a misgiving, whether the lord might not disappoint us, in order that we might be led _to provide by the week, or the day, for the rent_. this is the second, and only the second, complete failure as to answers of prayer in the work, during the past four years and six months. the first was about the half-yearly rent of castle-green school-rooms, due july , , which had come in only in part by that time. i am now fully convinced that the rent ought to be put by daily or weekly, as god may prosper us, in order that the work, even as to this point, may be a testimony. may the lord, then, help us to act accordingly, and may he now mercifully send in the means to pay the rent! oct. . tuesday evening. the lord's holy name be praised! he hath dealt most bountifully with us during the last three days! the day before yesterday five pounds came in for the orphans. o, how kind is the lord! always before there has been actual want he has sent help. yesterday came in one pound ten shillings more. thus the expenses of yesterday for housekeeping were defrayed. the lord helped me also to pay yesterday the nineteen pounds ten shillings for the rent. the means for it were thus obtained: one of the laborers had received through his family ten pounds, and five pounds besides from a sister in the lord; also some other money. of this he gave sixteen pounds, which, with the three pounds ten shillings that was left of the above-mentioned five pounds, made up nineteen pounds ten shillings, the sum which was needed. this day we were again greatly reduced. there was no money in hand to take in bread, as usual, for the boys' and infant orphan houses. but again the lord helped. a sister who had arrived this afternoon from swansea brought one pound seven shillings, and one of the laborers sold an article, by means of which he was able to give one pound thirteen shillings. thus we had three pounds,--one pound for each house,--and could buy bread before the day was over. hitherto we have lacked nothing! oct. . to-day we were brought lower than ever. the provisions would have lasted out only to-day, and the money for milk in one of the houses could only be made up by one of the laborers selling one of his books. the matron in the boys' orphan house had this morning two shillings left. when in doubt whether to buy bread with it, or more meat, to make up the dinner with the meat which she had in the house, the baker called, and left three quarterns of bread as a present. in this great need, some money having been given to one of the laborers, he gave two pounds of it, by which we were able to buy meat, bread, and other provisions. oct. . the coals in the infant orphan house are out, and nearly so in the other two houses. also the treacle casks in all the three houses are nearly empty. on this account we have asked the lord for fresh supplies. oct. . the "father of the fatherless" has again shown his care over us. an orphan from devonshire arrived last evening. with her was sent two pounds five shillings and sixpence. the sister who brought her gave also a silver tea-pot, sugar-basin, and cream-jug, of the weight of forty-eight ounces, having found true riches in christ. there was also in the boxes nine shillings. one of the laborers paid for a ton of coals. we obtained sixteen pounds sixteen shillings for the silver articles. thus we were helped through the heavy expenses of the following days. oct. . to-day seven brethren and sisters were added to us in fellowship, and eight were proposed. may the lord send helpers for the work! oct. . i knew that there would be money needed this morning for many things in the orphan houses, and my heart was therefore lifted up to the lord. just when i was going to meet my fellow-laborers for prayer, i received from trowbridge four pounds. there had come in also at the orphan houses seven shillings and threepence. to this one of the laborers added one pound. thus i was enabled abundantly to supply all that was wanted, and to pay for a cask of treacle and a ton of coals. we are now, however, cast again on the love of our lord for further supplies, as there is neither anything in hand, nor have the laborers any more of their own to give. oct. . i was looking up to the lord for help early this morning, when, almost immediately afterwards, brother t. came, and brought two silver tablespoons and six teaspoons, which had been left anonymously, yesterday afternoon, at the girls' orphan house. this afternoon i received twelve pounds from staffordshire. oct. . to-day our funds were again quite low. in the infant orphan house only twopence was left, and very little in the other two houses. but the lord most manifestly again answered prayer, by sending four pounds three shillings and one penny. oct. . thanks to our adorable lord! this day also we have not been confounded; for there was six shillings in the box at the infant orphan house, and six shillings came in for things which had been given to be sold. to this one of the laborers added eighteen shillings. by means of this one pound ten shillings we have been able to meet all pressing demands, and to procure provisions for to-day and to-morrow. oct. . monday. the lord has again given us this day our daily bread, though in the morning there was not the least natural prospect of obtaining supplies. oct. . this has been again a day of peculiar mercies in reference to the funds. whilst i was in prayer respecting them a brother brought two and a quarter yards of cloth. he had bought it for himself; but afterwards, considering that he had sufficient clothes, he gave it to be sold for the orphans. this evening a sister gave me twenty pounds, ten of which were for the orphans, and ten for the other objects. nov. . the funds are now again completely exhausted. nov. . saturday. all seemed to be dark, so far as regards natural appearances, at the commencement of this day. but the lord has helped us, and enabled us to meet all demands. we were brought to the close of one more week, having been able to supply the necessities of ninety-seven persons in the orphan houses, without owing anything. nov. . this morning our want was again great. i have twenty pounds in hand which has been put by for rent, but, for the lord's honor, i would not take of it. nothing had come in, and the laborers had scarcely anything to give. i went, however, to the orphan houses, to pray with my fellow-laborers, and, if it might be, to comfort them, and see what could be done. when i came there i found that nineteen shillings and sixpence had come in this morning. on inquiry i heard that only two shillings and sixpence more was needed to carry us through the day. this one of the laborers was able to add of his own. thus the lord has again helped us out of our difficulty. one of the laborers gave some things which he could do without, and another gave a workbox to be sold for the orphans. before this day has come to an end, the lord has sent in one pound two shillings and fourpence more, so that we have also a little for to-morrow. nov. . to-day our need was exceedingly great, but the lord's help was great also. i went to meet with the brethren and sisters as usual. i found that one pound would be needed to supply the necessities of to-day, but three shillings only had come in. just when we were going to pray, one of the laborers came in, who, after prayer, gave ten shillings. whilst we were praying, another laborer came in, who had received one pound. thus we had one pound thirteen shillings,--even more, therefore, than was absolutely needed. nov. . never were we so reduced in funds as to-day. there was not a single halfpenny in hand between the matrons of the three houses. nevertheless, there was a good dinner, and by managing so as to help one another with bread, etc., there was a prospect of getting over this day also; but for none of the houses had we the prospect of being able to take in bread. when i left the brethren and sisters at one o'clock, after prayer, i told them that we must wait for help, and see how the lord would deliver us at this time. i was sure of help, but we were indeed straitened. when i came to kingsdown, i felt that i needed more exercise, being very cold, wherefore i went not the nearest way home, but round by clarence-place. about twenty yards from my house i met a brother, who walked back with me, and after a little conversation gave me ten pounds to be handed over to the brethren, the deacons, towards providing the poor saints with coals, blankets, and warm clothing; also five pounds for the orphans, and five pounds for the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. the brother had called twice while i was gone to the orphan houses, and had i now been _one half minute_ later i should have missed him. but the lord knew our need, and therefore allowed me to meet him. nov. . this again has been a very remarkable day. we had as little in hand this morning as at any time, and yet several pounds were needed. but god, who is rich in mercy, and whose word so positively declares that none who trust in him shall be confounded, has helped us through this day also. while i was in prayer, about ten in the morning, respecting the funds, i was informed that a gentleman had called to see me. he came to inform me that a lady had ordered three sacks of potatoes to be sent to the orphan houses. never could they have come more seasonably. this was an encouragement to me to continue to expect help. when i came to the prayer meeting, about twelve o'clock, i heard that two shillings had come in, also one pound for a guitar, which had been given for sale. the payment for this guitar had been expected for many weeks. it had been mentioned among us repeatedly that it might come just at a time when we most needed it; and o, how true! but with all this we could not have put by the rents for this week, amounting to thirty shillings. one of the laborers therefore gave his watch to the orphan fund, under this condition, that should the lord not enable us before december to make up this deficiency, it should be sold, but not otherwise, as he needs it in the lord's service. [a few days after the lord gave the means to put by the thirty shillings, and thirty shillings besides for the next week's rent.] thus the lord helped us through this day, and with it brought us to the close of one more week. nov. . this is perhaps of all days the most remarkable as yet, so far as it regards the funds. when i was in prayer this morning respecting them, i was enabled firmly to believe that the lord would send help, though all seemed dark as to natural appearances. at twelve o'clock i met as usual with the brethren and sisters for prayer. there had come in only one shilling, which was left last evening anonymously at the infant orphan house, and which, except twopence, had already been spent, on account of the great need. i heard also that an individual had gratuitously cleaned the timepiece in the infant orphan house, and had offered to keep the timepieces in the three houses in repair. thus the lord gave even in this a little encouragement, and a proof that he is still mindful of us. on inquiry, i found that there was everything needful for the dinner in all the three houses; but neither in the infant nor boys' orphan houses was there bread enough for tea, nor money to buy milk. lower we had never been, and perhaps never so low. we gave ourselves now unitedly to prayer, laying the case in simplicity before the lord. whilst in prayer there was a knock at the door, and one of the sisters went out. after the two brethren who labor in the orphan houses and i had prayed aloud, we continued for a while silently in prayer. as to myself, i was lifting up my heart to the lord to make a way for our escape, and in order to know if there were any other thing which i could do with a good conscience, besides waiting on him, so that we might have food for the children. at last we rose from our knees. i said, "god will surely send help." the words had not quite passed over my lips, when i perceived a letter lying on the table, which had been brought whilst we were in prayer. it was from my wife, containing another letter from a brother with ten pounds for the orphans. the evening before last i was asked by a brother whether the balance in hand for the orphans would be as great this time, when the accounts would be made up, as the last time. my answer was that it would be as great as the lord pleased. the next morning this brother was moved to remember the orphans, and to send to-day ten pounds, which arrived after i had left my house, and which, on account of our need, was forwarded immediately to me. the brother who sent the ten pounds for the orphans sent likewise ten pounds to be divided between brother craik and me, with the object of purchasing new clothes for ourselves. nov. . the lord has greatly blessed our meetings for prayer. they have been instrumental in leading us to much prayer for the children in the orphan houses, in the day schools, and in the sunday school. they have led us to prayer for ourselves, for the day-school teachers, and for the sunday-school teachers, that grace may be given to us so to walk before the children, and so to deal with them, as that the lord may be glorified by us. we have also often been led to intercede for the believers with whom we are in fellowship, and for the church at large. we have especially prayed that our work may lead the church generally to a more simple confidence and trust in the lord. that these meetings have not been in vain, as regards the procuring of funds, has been already sufficiently seen by the many instances which have been recorded in the foregoing pages. to-day, however, we have had another particular proof of this. when we met i found that ten shillings had come in yesterday afternoon. when i returned home i found one pound had come in, and shortly after i received another pound. in the evening i received fifty pounds, which was sent from suffolk by a sister who had often expressed how gladly she would contribute more largely to the work which is in our hands had she the means, and who just now, in this our time of need, has obtained the means to carry out the desire of her heart. i rejoice in the last donation particularly, not because of the largeness of the sum, but because it enables me to pay to my brethren and sisters in the orphan houses the salary which is due to them. dec. . this afternoon i received one hundred pounds from a sister,--fifty for the orphans, and fifty for the school, bible, and missionary fund. this same sister, who earns her bread with her own hands, had given, on october , , fifty pounds towards the boys' orphan house, and gave for the necessities of the poor saints, in august, , one hundred pounds more; for she had been made willing to act out those precious exhortations: "having food and raiment, let us be therewith content." "sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth." "lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal." respecting the fifty pounds which has been given of this sum for the school, bible, and missionary fund, it is worthy of remark, that we would not order reference bibles till we had the means. we had repeatedly prayed respecting this want of bibles, and particularly again this morning. it had been also much laid on our hearts to-day to request that the lord would enable us to have the report printed, which we could not do unless he first sent the means. lastly, we had also repeatedly asked him to supply us so largely, if it were his will, as that at the time of the public meetings we might be able to speak again of abundance. for though for some months past the time has been fixed for the public meetings, without any reference to the state of the funds, nevertheless, it might have had the appearance that we had convened the brethren for the sake of telling them about our poverty, and thus to induce them to give. dec. , , and . on the evenings of these three days there were public meetings, at which i gave an account of the lord's dealing with us in reference to the orphan houses and the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. as the work, and particularly that of the orphan houses, was begun for the benefit of the church at large, it appeared well to us that from time to time it should be publicly stated how the lord had dealt with us in reference to it; and as, on dec. , the third year had been completed since the commencement of the orphan work, this seemed to be a suitable time for having these meetings. i notice briefly the following particulars respecting the first three objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. . there is at present--december, --a sunday school supported by it, which contains four hundred and sixty-three children. this part of the work calls for particular thanksgiving; for during these last eighteen months the number of the children has been nearly three times as great as it used to be. five of the scholars have been converted within the last two years, and are now in fellowship with the church, and three of them are teachers in the school. . there is in connection with the institution an adult school, in which, since the commencement of the work, above one hundred and twenty adults have been instructed, and in which at present twelve are taught to read. . the institution has entirely supported, since its commencement, several day schools for poor children, and within the last two years six of such,--three for boys and three for girls. the number of all the children that have had schooling in the day schools through the medium of the institution, since its formation, amounts to , ; the number of those at present in the six day schools is . . during the last two years there have been circulated , copies of the scriptures in connection with the institution, and since the beginning of the work, march , , , copies. . for missionary purposes have been laid out £ , s. d. . the total of the income for the first three objects, during the last two years, was £ , , s. d.; the total of the expense, £ , , s. ½d. there are, at present, orphans in the three houses, _i. e._ in the girls' orphan house, in the infant orphan house, and in the boys' orphan house. the whole number of orphans who have been under our care from april , , to dec. , , amounts to . the total of the income for the orphans, from dec. , , to dec. , , has amounted to £ , , s. d.; the total of the expenses to £ , , s. ¾d. there was two years ago a balance of £ , s. ¼d. in hand, and now the balance is £ , s. d. dec. . there was a paper anonymously put into the box at bethesda chapel containing four pounds ten shillings. in the paper was written, "for the rent of the orphan houses, from dec. to dec. , . 'o, taste and see that the _lord is good_: _blessed_ is the man that _trusteth in him_!'" in order that the reader may be able to enter into the value of this donation, i would request him to read over once more what i wrote under "sept. " of this year. [the individual who gave this four pounds ten shillings for the rent of the orphan houses for the first three weeks after the public meetings, at which the matter about the rent, for the instruction of the brethren, was fully stated, continued for three years, up to dec. , , to give regularly, but anonymously, one pound ten shillings a week for the same purpose, which was exactly the sum required every week for the rent of those three houses. thus the lord rewarded our faithfulness in carrying out the light which he had given us. but the chief blessing resulting from this circumstance i consider to be this,--that several brethren, who earn their bread by the labor of their hands, have learned through this circumstance that it is the will of the lord they should lay by their rent weekly. i beseech those brethren who are not pursuing this course to do so, and they will soon prove by experience the benefit of acting on scriptural principles even as it regards this life.] dec. . to-day eleven brethren and sisters were proposed for fellowship. dec. . as the expenses for the orphans have been above forty-seven pounds within the last six days, and as but little above thirteen pounds has come in, and as the money for printing the report had to be kept back, in order that we might not be in debt, we were again to-day very low in funds, though it is but six days since the public meetings. as i knew that to-morrow several pounds would be needed to supply the matrons, i gave myself this morning to prayer. about a quarter of an hour afterwards i received three pounds, the payment of a legacy left by a sister, who fell asleep in jesus several months since, in ireland. besides this i received from the brother through whom the legacy was paid, two pounds ten shillings for the orphan fund. with this five pounds ten shillings i hope to be able to meet the expenses of to-morrow. dec. . _a solemn day._ i received to-day the information that my brother died on october . "_shall not the judge of all the earth do right?_" must be the stay of the believer at such a time, and, by grace, it is my stay now. _i know_ that the lord is glorified in my brother, whatever his end has been. may the lord make this event a lasting blessing to me, especially in leading me to earnestness in prayer for my father! review of the year . . as to the church. there are at present in fellowship with us; having been added last year, of whom have been brought among us to the knowledge of the truth. . as to my temporal supplies. the lord has been pleased to give me during the past year £ , s. d. during no period of my life had i such need of means, on account of my own long illness and that of my dear wife, and on account of the _many_ and _particular_ calls for means, as during the past year; but also during no period of my life has the lord so richly supplied me. truly, it must be manifest to all that i have served a most kind master, during this year also, and that, even for this life, it is by far the best thing to seek to act according to the mind of the lord as to temporal things! chapter xi. asking and receiving. . help for the poor saints--the unfailing bank--means exhausted--liberality of a laboring sister--"he knoweth our frame"--redeeming the time--godliness profitable unto all things. january , , and , . we have had three especial church prayer meetings these three days. the year commenced with mercies. _in the first hour_ of the year there came in for the orphans two pounds seven shillings, which was given after our usual prayer meeting on december , which this time lasted from seven in the evening till after midnight. jan. . to-day i received another new hat, the eleventh which in succession has been given to me since i have been in england. jan. . for some time past it has appeared to me that the words, "ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good," which the lord spoke to his disciples, _who were themselves very poor_, imply that the children of god, as such, have power with god to bring temporal blessings upon poor saints or poor unbelievers through the instrumentality of prayer. accordingly, i have been led to ask the lord for means to assist poor saints; and at different times he has stirred up his children to intrust me with sums, both large and small, _for that especial object_; or has, by some means or other, put money at my disposal, which i might so use. in like manner i had been asking again for means, a few days since, to be able more extensively to assist the poor saints in communion with us, as just now many of them are not merely tried by the _usual_ temporal difficulties arising from its being winter, but especially from the high price of bread. and now this evening the lord has given me the answer to my prayer. when i came home from the meeting i found a brother at my house who offered to give me ten pounds a week, for twelve weeks, towards providing the poor saints with coals and needful articles of clothing, but chiefly with bread. [accordingly, this brother sent me, two days afterwards, one hundred and twenty pounds, whereby very many, especially poor widows, were greatly assisted, chiefly with flour and bread. this money just lasted till the price of bread was reduced from ninepence halfpenny to sevenpence halfpenny.] feb. . this day has been one of the most remarkable days as it regards the funds. there was no money in hand. i was waiting upon god. i had asked him repeatedly, but no supplies came. brother t. called, between eleven and twelve o'clock, to tell me that about one pound two shillings would be needed, to take in bread for the three houses and to meet the other expenses; but we had only two shillings ninepence, which yesterday had been taken out of the boxes in the orphan houses. he went to clifton to make arrangements for the reception of the three orphans of our sister loader, who fell asleep on the th; for, though we have no funds in hand, the work goes on, and our confidence is not diminished. i therefore requested him to call, on his way back from clifton, to see whether the lord might have sent any money in the mean time. when he came i had received nothing, but one of the laborers, having five shillings of his own, gave it. it was now four o'clock. i knew not how the sisters had got through the day. toward the close of the day i went to the girls' orphan house, to meet with the brethren for prayer. when i arrived there i found that a box had come for me from barnstable. the carriage was paid, else there would have been no money to pay for it. (see how the lord's hand is in the smallest matters!) the box was opened, and it contained, in a letter from a sister, ten pounds, of which eight pounds was for the orphans, and two pounds for the bible fund; from brethren at barnstable, two pounds eleven shillings twopence; and from another brother, five shillings. besides this, there were in the box four yards of merino, three pairs of new shoes, two pairs of new socks; also six books for sale; likewise a gold pencil-case, two gold rings, two gold drops of earrings, a necklace, and a silver pencil-case. on inquiry how the sisters had been carried through the day, i found it thus: everything was in the houses which was needed for dinner. after dinner a lady from thornbury came and bought one of my narratives and one of the reports, and gave three shillings besides. about five minutes afterwards the baker came to the boys' orphan house. the matron of the girls' orphan house seeing him, went immediately with the six shillings sixpence which she had just received (to prevent his being sent away, as there was no money in hand at the boys' orphan house), and bought bread to the amount of four shillings sixpence. the two remaining shillings, with the little which was in hand, served to buy bread for the girls' orphan house. by the donations sent in the box i was enabled to give a rich supply to the matrons before the close of the day. february . this evening five pounds was given me, which had come in under the following circumstances: a gentleman and lady visited the orphan houses, and met at the boys' orphan house two ladies who were likewise visiting. one of the ladies said to the matron of the boys' orphan house, "of course you cannot carry on these institutions without a good stock of funds." the gentleman, turning to the matron, said, "have you a good stock?" she replied, "our funds are deposited in a bank which cannot break." the tears came into the eyes of the inquiring lady. the gentleman, on leaving, gave to the master of the boys five pounds, which came in _when i had not a penny in hand_. march . to-day, however, i knew that there would be again several pounds required, as, besides the daily provisions, there were coals needed, the treacle casks in two houses were empty, and there was but five shillings in hand. i gave myself therefore to prayer this morning. whilst i was in prayer q. q. sent a check for seven pounds ten shillings. march . to-day i received a letter from brother t., who is, on account of his health, in devonshire, to inform me that a heavy gold chain, a ring set with ten brilliants, a pair of gold bracelets, and two pounds, have been given to him. he gave a report to a brother, who, having read it, was thereby stirred up to prayer, and knowing that his believing sister possessed these trinkets, he asked the lord to incline her heart to give them up for the benefit of our orphans, which she soon after did. by means of these donations i am able both to meet the remaining expenses of this week, and also to pay fifteen pounds, which still remains due on account of the salaries. my fellow-laborers not only never ask me for anything, but are willing to part with money, or anything else, in the hour of need; nevertheless, i asked the lord about this point frequently, and he has now given me my request, whereof i am glad. april . i conversed with another of the orphans, who seems to have been truly converted, and who has walked consistently for many months. to-morrow she will be united with the saints in communion. april . to-day five pounds eightpence came in for the orphans, one pound of which is one of the most remarkable gifts that we have ever had. a poor brother, with a large family and small wages,--there are eight in the family, and he had fifteen shillings wages till lately, when they were raised to eighteen shillings--put by this money by little and little of what was given him by his master for beer. this brother, who was converted about five years ago, was before that time a notorious drunkard. july . to-day was given to me, _when there was not one shilling in hand_, fifty pounds, for the school, bible, and missionary fund. july . monday. to-day two pounds seven shillings threepence was needed for the orphans, but we had nothing. how to obtain the means for a dinner, and for what else was needed, i knew not. my heart was perfectly at peace, and unusually sure of help, though i knew not in the least whence it was to come. before brother t. came, i received a letter from india, written in may, with an order for fifty pounds for the orphans. i had said last saturday to brother t. that it would be desirable to have fifty pounds, as the salaries of all my fellow-laborers are due, the three treacle casks empty, all the provision stores exhausted, several articles of clothing needed, and worsted for the boys to go on with their knitting. august . monday. this has been again a day in which our faith has been particularly tried; but even this day we have not been confounded. not one penny was in hand when the day began. we had, therefore, now, for more than one hundred persons, again to look to the lord. but this i must say, to the praise of the lord, my soul was perfectly at peace. i meant to have gone very early to the orphan houses to meet with my fellow-laborers for prayer; but as one person after the other called upon me, i was kept from it the whole morning. when brother t. called upon me, between twelve and one o'clock, for money, i had none to give. in the afternoon at four i was able to meet with the brethren and sisters. when i came to the girls' orphan house, i found that one of those children, for the reception of whom we had given notice, had been brought from bath, and with him was sent one pound five shillings. after the meeting was over one of the laborers gave ten shillings. by means of this one pound fifteen shillings we were able for this day also to provide everything needful. august . in my morning walk, when i was reminding the lord of our need, i felt assured that he would send help this day. my assurance sprang from our need; for there seemed no way to get through the day without help being sent. after breakfast i considered whether there was anything which might be turned into money for the dear children. among other things there came under my hands a number of religious pamphlets which had been given for the benefit of the orphans; but all seemed not nearly enough to meet the necessities of the day. in this our deep poverty, after i had gathered together the few things for sale, a sister, _who earns her bread by the labor of her hands_, brought eighty-two pounds. this sister had seen it to be binding upon believers in our lord jesus to act out his commandments: "sell that ye have (sell your possessions) and give alms," luke xii. ; and "lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth," matt. vi. . accordingly, she had drawn her money out of the bank and stocks, being two hundred and fifty pounds, and had brought it to me at three different times, for the benefit of the orphans, the bible, missionary, and school fund, and the poor saints. about two months ago she brought me one hundred pounds more, being the produce of some other possession which she had sold, the half of which was to be used for the school bible, and missionary fund, and the other half for the poor saints. this eighty-two pounds which she has brought to-day is the produce of the sale of her last earthly possession. [at the time i am preparing this fifth edition for the press, more than sixteen years have passed away, and this sister has never expressed the least regret as to the step she took, but goes on quietly laboring with her hands to earn her bread.] september . i have been led to pray whether it is the lord's will that i should leave bristol for a season, as i have for the last fortnight been suffering from indigestion, by which my whole system is weakened, and thus the nerves of my head are more than usually affected. there are, however, two hindrances in the way--want of means for the orphans, and want of means for my own personal expenses. to-day i have received a check from q. q. for seven pounds ten shillings for the orphans, which came, therefore, very seasonably. also four pounds besides have come in since the day before yesterday. september . to-day a sister sent me five pounds for myself, to be used for the benefit of my health. she had heard that my health is again failing. i do not lay by money for such purposes; but whenever i really need means, whether for myself or others, the lord sends them, in answer to prayer; for he had in this case again given me prayer respecting means for myself, and for the orphans, that my way might be made plain as to leaving bristol for a season. september . trowbridge. this has been a very good day. i have had much communion with the lord. how kind to take me from the work in bristol for a season, to give me more communion with himself. i remembered the lord's especial goodness to me in this place at the commencement of last year. how kind has he also been since! i prayed much for myself, for the church at large, for the saints here and in bristol, for my unconverted relatives, for my dear wife, and that the lord would supply my own temporal necessities, and those of the orphans; and _i know that he has heard me_. i am surrounded with kind friends in the dear saints, under whose roof i am, and feel quite at home. my room is _far better_ than i need: yet an easy chair, _in this my weak state of body_, to kneel before in prayer, would have added to my comfort. in the afternoon, without having a hint about it, i found an easy chair put into my room. i was struck with the kindness, the especial kindness of my heavenly father, in being mindful of the smallest wants and comforts of his child. having had more prayer than usual, i found that my intercourse with the saints at tea was with unction, and more than usually profitable. september . i returned to bristol, to go from hence to-morrow to exeter, if the lord permit, on account of my health. i had been earnestly asking the lord while i was staying at trowbridge that he would be pleased to send in supplies for the orphans before i go into devonshire, and i had the fullest assurance that means would come in before i left bristol. i therefore asked my wife, on my return, how much had come in, and found that it was only eight pounds nine shillings seven and three-fourths pence. this was not nearly as much as i had expected, and would not answer the end for which i had particularly asked means, _i. e._ that i might be able to leave enough for several days. my reply, therefore, was according to the faith given to me, and judging from the earnestness and confidence of my prayer _that the lord would send more before i left_. about an hour after, brother craik brought me ten pounds, and also a letter, in which the arrival of a large box full of articles, to be sold for the benefit of the orphans, is announced. upon his return from his journey, mr. m. writes:-- during my stay at plymouth, i was stirred up afresh to early rising, a blessing, the results of which i have not lost since. that which led me to it was the example of the brother in whose house i was staying, and a remark which he made in speaking on the sacrifices in leviticus, "that as not the refuse of the animals was to be offered up, _so the best part of our time_ should be especially given to communion with the lord." i had been, on the whole, rather an early riser during former years. but since the nerves of my head had been so weak, i thought that, as the day was long enough for my strength, it would be best for me not to rise early, in order that thus the nerves of my head might have the longer quiet. on this account i rose only between six and seven, and sometimes after seven. for the same reason also i brought myself _purposely_ into the habit of sleeping a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, after dinner: as i thought i found benefit from it, in quieting the nerves of my head. in this way, however, my soul had suffered more or less every day, and sometimes considerably, as now and then unavoidable work came upon me before i had had sufficient time for prayer and reading the word. after i had heard the remark to which i have alluded, i determined that, whatever my body might suffer, i would no longer let the most precious part of the day pass away while i was in bed. by the grace of god i was enabled to begin the very next day to rise earlier; and have continued to rise early since that time. i allow myself now about seven hours' sleep, which, though i am far from being strong, and have much to tire me mentally, i find is quite sufficient to refresh me. in addition to this i gave up the sleeping after dinner. the result has been that i have thus been able to procure long and precious seasons for prayer and meditation before breakfast; and as to my body, and the state of the nervous system in particular, i have been _much better_ since. indeed, i believe that the very worst thing i could have done for my weak nerves was to have lain an hour or more longer in bed than i used to do before my illness; for it was the very way to keep them weak. as this may fall into the hands of some children of god who are not in the habit of rising early, i make a few more remarks on the subject. i. it might be asked, how much time shall i allow myself for rest? the answer is, that no rule of universal application can be given, as all persons do not require the same measure of sleep, and also the same persons, at different times, according to the strength or weakness of their body, may require more or less. females also, being generally weaker in body, require more sleep than males. yet, from what i can learn, it is the opinion of medical persons that men in health do not require more than between six and seven hours' sleep, and females no more than between seven and eight hours; so that it would be rather _an exception_ for a man to require more than seven and a woman more than eight hours. but my decided advice, at the same time, is, that children of god would be careful not to allow themselves _too little_ sleep, as there are few men who can do with less than six hours' sleep, and yet be well in body and mind, and few females who can do with less than seven hours. certain it is that for a long time, as a young man, before i went to the university, i went to bed regularly at ten and rose at four, studied hard, and was in good health; and certain also, that since i have allowed myself only about seven hours, from the time of my visit at plymouth in oct. , i have been much better in body, and in my nerves in particular, than when i was eight or eight hours and a half in bed. ii. if it be asked, but why should i rise early? the reply is, "to remain too long in bed" is, . _waste of time_, which is unbecoming a saint, who is bought by the precious blood of jesus, with his _time_ and all he has, to be used for the lord. if we sleep more than is needful for the refreshment of the body, it is wasting the time with which the lord has intrusted us as a talent, to be used for his glory, for our own benefit, and the benefit of the saints and the unbelievers around us. . to remain too long in bed _injures the body_. just as when we take too much food, we are injured thereby, so as it regards sleep. medical persons would readily allow that the lying longer in bed than is needful for the strengthening of the body does _weaken_ it. . _it injures the soul._ the lying too long in bed not merely keeps us from giving the most precious part of the day to prayer and meditation, but this sloth leads also to _many other evils_. any one need but make the experiment of spending one, two, or three hours in prayer and meditation before breakfast, either in his room, or with his bible in his hand in the fields, and he will soon find out the beneficial effect which early rising has upon the outward and inward man. i beseech all my brethren and sisters into whose hands this may fall, and who are not in the habit of rising early, to make the trial, and they will praise the lord for having done so. iii. it may lastly be said, but how shall i set about rising early? my advice is, . commence at once, delay it not. to-morrow begin to rise. . but do not depend upon your own strength. this may be the reason why before this you may have begun to rise early, but have given it up. as surely as you depend upon your own strength in this matter, it will come to nothing. in every good work we depend upon the lord, and in this thing we shall feel _especially_ how weak we are. if any one rises that he may give the time which he takes from sleep to prayer and meditation, let him be sure that satan will try to put obstacles into the way. . do trust in the lord for help. you will honor him if you _expect_ help from him in this matter. give yourself to prayer for help, expect help, and you will have it. . use, however, in addition to this, the following means: _a._ go early to bed. if you stay up late, you cannot rise early. let no society and no pressure of engagements keep you from going _habitually_ early to bed. if you fail in this, you neither can nor ought to get up early, as your body requires rest. keep also particularly in mind, that neither for the body nor soul is it the same thing whether you go to bed _late_ and rise _late_, or whether you go to bed _early_ and rise _early_. even medical persons will tell you how injurious it is to sit up late, and to spend the morning hours in bed; but how much more important still is it to retire early and to rise early, in order to _make sure of time for prayer and meditation before the business of the day commences_, and to devote to those exercises that part of our time when the mind and the body are _most fresh_, in order thus to obtain spiritual strength for the conflict, the trials, and the work of the day. _b._ let some one call you, if possible, at the time which you have determined before god that you will rise; or procure, what is still better, an alarum, by which you may regulate almost to a minute the time when you wish to rise. for about twelve shillings a little german clock with an alarum may be bought almost in every town. though i have very many times been awakened by the lord, in answer to prayer, almost to the minute when i desired to rise; yet i thought it well to procure an alarum to assist me in my purpose of rising early: not indeed as if it could give the least help, without the lord's blessing, for i should remain in bed notwithstanding the noise of the alarum, were he not to give me grace to rise; but simply looking upon it as a means. _c._ rise at once when you are awake. remain not a minute longer in bed, else you are likely to fall asleep again. _d._ be not discouraged by feeling drowsy and tired in consequence of your rising early. this will soon wear off. you will after a few days feel yourself stronger and fresher than when you used to lie an hour or two longer than you needed. _e._ allow yourself always the same hours for sleep. make no change except sickness oblige you. on december , , and we had public meetings, at which the account of the lord's dealings with us in reference to the orphan houses and the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution was given. it is now--december , --five years and nine months since the scriptural knowledge institution has been in operation. during the last year also. . we have been enabled to continue to provide all the needful expenses connected with the six-day schools, three for boys and three for girls. the number of the children who are at present in them amounts to . the number of all the children that have had schooling in the day schools, through the medium of the institution, since its formation, amounts to , . . there are at present children in the sunday school. . there are taught to read in the adult school, and there have been about adults instructed in that school since the formation of the institution. . there have been circulated, during the last year, copies of the scriptures, and , since march , . . there has been laid out, during the last year, £ , s. for missionary purposes. . there have been received into the three orphan houses, from december , , to december , , orphans. there are at present orphans in the three houses. the number of all the orphans who have been under our care from april , , to december , , amounts to . for the orphan houses, _without any one having been asked for anything by us_, the sum of £ , , s. ¼d. has been given, _entirely as the result of prayer to god_, from the commencement of the work up to december , . the total of the expenses connected with the objects of the institution, exclusive of the orphan houses, from november , , to november , , is £ , s. the balance in hand on november , , was s. d. the total of the expenses connected with the three orphan houses, from december , , to december , , is £ , s. ¾d. the balance in hand on december , , was £ , s. d. december . my health is much better than for years. my mental powers also are as good as they have been at any time during the last three years. i ascribe this to god's blessing, through the instrumentality of early rising, and plunging my head into cold water when i rise. review of the year . . as to the church: during the last year have been added ; of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the lord among us. . as to my temporal supplies, the lord has been pleased to give me, during the past year, £ , s. d. chapter xii. plenty and want. . a pure offering required--a journey proposed--seasonable provision--looking only to the lord--the wrath of man praising god--a promise fulfilled--benefit of trial--new springs opened--before they call i will answer--trust in god commended--spiritual blessings. january , . this morning, about one hour after midnight, i received a paper with some money sealed up in it for the orphans. a few minutes afterwards, i remembered that the individual who gave it was in debt, and i was aware that she had been repeatedly asked by her creditors for payment. i resolved, therefore, without opening the paper, to return it, as no one has a right to give whilst in debt. this was done _when i knew that there was not enough in hand to meet the expenses of the day_. about eight, this morning, a brother brought five pounds, which he had received just then from his mother, for the orphans. observe, the brother is led to bring it _at once_! january . i have been much in prayer this week about going to germany: . to see certain brethren who purpose to go as missionaries to the east indies; and, . to see my father once more. i am led to go just now, instead of delaying it, because my health is again so failing that it seems desirable i should leave bristol at all events; and thus i could continue to serve in the work of the lord, and yet attend to the benefit of my health at the same time. lord, keep me from making a mistake in this matter! january . there is only one shilling fivepence in hand. the lord will provide! i feel quite comfortable, though in three days i shall have to leave the work for several weeks. after i had written the above, i received sixteen pounds for the orphans, and twenty-four pounds for the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. thus lord will kindly allow me to leave a little money behind on my departure, and i have also a still further answer to my prayer for means to purchase bibles, for which i have asked the lord repeatedly, and which he began to answer by the donation which i received on the d. i have received five pounds, besides, for the other objects. feb. . to-day and yesterday has come in still further, before my departure, nearly nine pounds for the orphans. how kind of the lord to send this money just now, on the eve of my leaving home! mr. müller's absence lasted from feb. to march . under the latter date he writes:-- during the whole time of my absence the lord not only supplied all the need of the orphans, but on my return i found more in hand than there was when i left. the donations, which came in during my absence, amount to between eighty and ninety pounds. march . on the th of this month i received the following letter from a brother who several times had been used by the lord as an instrument in supplying our need, and who also, two months since, sent thirty pounds. "i have received a little money from ----. have you any _present_ need for the institution under your care? i know you do not _ask_, except indeed of him whose work you are doing; but to _answer when asked_ seems another thing, and a right thing. i have a reason for desiring to know the present state of your means towards the objects you are laboring to serve, viz. should you _not have_ need, other departments of the lord's work, or other people of the lord, _may have_ need. kindly then inform me, and to what amount, _i. e._ what amount you at this present time need, or can profitably lay out." at the time when this letter came we were indeed in need. nevertheless, i considered that, as i have hitherto acted (_i. e._ telling the lord alone about our need), i ought to continue to do, as otherwise the principal object of the work, to be a help to the saints generally, by seeking to lead them to increased dependence upon god _alone_, through this institution, would be frustrated. i answered therefore the letter in substance as follows:-- "whilst i thank you for your love, and whilst i agree with you, that, in general, there is a difference between _asking for money_ and _answering when asked_, nevertheless in our case i feel not at liberty to speak about the state of our funds, as the primary object of the work in my hands is to lead those who are weak in faith to see that there is _reality_ in dealing with god _alone_." after having sent off the answer, i was again and again led to pray to the lord in this way: "lord, thou knowest that for thy sake i did not tell this brother about our need. now, lord, show afresh that there is _reality_ in speaking to thee _only_ about our need, and speak therefore to this brother, so that he may help us." to-day, in answer to this my request, this brother sent one hundred pounds. thus i have means for establishing the infant school, and for ordering more bibles. also the orphans are again supplied for a week; for when the money came in, there was _not one penny_ in hand for them. april . this evening i received information from my little half brother that my dear father died on march . during no period did i pray more frequently or more earnestly for the conversion of my dear aged parent than during the last year of his life; but, at all events, it did not please the lord to let me _see_ the answer to my prayers. april . we are on the point of sending some money to the east indies for missionary objects. _whilst i was on my knees_ respecting this object, five pounds was brought for it. may . nothing having come in for five days, we were to-day again penniless. in answer to prayer five shillings sixpence came in, and some trinkets were sent, the names of which the donor does not wish to be known. thus we were helped through this day. observe here how the lord allowed five days to pass away without influencing the hearts of any to send us supplies; but the moment there is real need, the stream runs again. may . last evening a brother was baptized, who on the first lord's day of this year came with his intended wife to bethesda chapel. both were in an unconverted state. only since april , forty-one persons have come to us to speak about their souls. may . there are four believers staying at my house, and to-day we had only a few shillings of our own money left. i gave myself, therefore, to prayer for means for our own personal expenses. in answer to my request, i received this morning five pounds. may . to-day five of the orphans were baptized. there are now fourteen of them in fellowship. may . nothing had come in. my engagements kept me from going to the orphan houses till seven in the evening, when the laborers met together for prayer. when we met i found that one of them had given seventeen shillings, which had been divided between the three houses. this, with the little which had been left yesterday, had procured all necessary articles. we are now very poor. may . we met for prayer at eleven this morning. no money had come in, but there was enough for dinner in all the houses. this morning the last coals were used in the infant orphan house, and in the boys' orphan house there were only enough for to-day, and there was no money in hand to buy more. in this our need t. p. c. sent a load of coals. we purpose to meet again at four this afternoon. may the lord graciously be pleased to send help in the mean time! _evening._ the lord has had mercy! a person bought some days since several articles, which had been given to be sold for the benefit of the orphans, and owed six pounds fifteen shillings. this morning i asked the lord to incline his heart to bring the money, or a part of it, as we were in such need. just as i was going to meet for prayer with my fellow-laborers this afternoon, he came and brought four pounds. but our kind father showed us still further to-day that only for the trial of our faith he had for a season withheld supplies; for there was given this evening, with eccles. ix. , five pounds. there came in also nine shillings for articles which had been put into the hand of a sister, who has taken on her the service of disposing of articles which are given for sale. thus the day, which had begun with prayer, ended in praise. but there is one thing more to be recorded respecting this day, as precious or more so than what has been said: i was to-day informed that the lord has begun to stir up several of the boys to care about their souls. june . for several days past i had been very poor in reference to my own temporal necessities, as well as in reference to the orphans. to-day we were especially poor, in both respects; but our kind father remembered not merely the need of the dear orphans, but gave me also some money for my own personal expenses. the same sister just referred to, who brought five pounds ten shillings sixpence for the orphans, brought me also seven pounds for myself. june . to-morrow, the lord willing, i purpose, with my wife, to accompany the three german brethren and the five german sisters to liverpool, who purpose to sail from thence. under these circumstances it is desirable to leave at least a little money behind. this desire of my heart the lord has granted; for this morning d. c. gave me five pounds, and there came in by sale of articles ten shillings fivepence. in the evening a sister, who has left bristol to-day, sent me by her mother five pounds. during the absence of mr. m. the wants of the orphans were supplied in a wonderful manner. to mention but one instance, at a time when there was extreme need, a poor german missionary, just embarking for a heathen land, gave six pounds ten shillings, being his all. the following event came to his notice during his journey:-- about october, , i sent some bibles and forty-six copies of my narrative to a brother in upper canada, who, in dependence upon the lord for temporal supplies, is laboring as a missionary in that country. about eighteen months afterwards i heard that this box had not arrived. i had reason to think that the broker had never sent off the box. my comfort, however, was, that though this poor sinner had acted thus, yet the lord, in his own place and way, would use the bibles and my narratives. now, almost immediately after my arrival in liverpool, a brother told me that several persons wished to hear me preach who had read my narrative; and that he knew a considerable number had been bought by a brother, a bookseller, from pawnbrokers, and sold again; and that some also had been ordered from london when there were no more to be had otherwise. it was thus evident that the ship-broker pawned these narratives before he absconded; but the lord used them as i had hoped. aug. . a few days since a brother was staying with me, on his way to his father, whom he had not seen for above two years, and who was greatly opposed to him, on account of the decided steps which his son had taken for the lord. before this brother left, that precious promise of our lord was brought to my mind: "if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven." (matt. xviii. .) accordingly, i went to the brother's room, and having agreed to pray about a kind reception from his father, and the conversion of both parents, we prayed together. to-day this brother returned. the lord has answered already one part of the prayer. the brother was most kindly received, contrary to all natural expectation. may the lord now help us both to look for an answer to the other part of our prayer! there is nothing too hard for the lord! since the publication of the last edition, the father of this brother died. he lived above ten years after aug. , , until he was about eighty-six years of age, and as he continued a life of much sin and opposition to the truth, the prospect with reference to his conversion became darker and darker. but at last the lord answered prayer. this aged sinner was entirely changed, simply rested on the lord jesus for the salvation of his soul, and became as much attached to his believing son as before he had been opposed to him, and wished to have him about him as much as possible, that he might read the holy scriptures to him and pray with him. aug. . saturday. this evening i was meditating on the fourth psalm. the words in verse three, "but know that the lord has set apart him that is godly for himself; the lord will hear when i call upon him," i was enabled to apply to myself, and they led me to prayer for spiritual blessings. whilst in prayer, the need of the orphans, there being now again not one penny in hand, was also brought to my mind, and i asked the lord respecting this likewise. _about five minutes afterwards_ i was informed that a sister wished to see me. she brought one pound ten shillings for the orphans. thus the lord has already kindly sent a little to begin the week with. there was also still further given to-day, one shilling elevenpence; and five shillings one penny was taken out of the boxes in the orphan houses. aug. . there was to-day the greatest poverty in all the three houses; all the stores were very low, as the income throughout the week had been so small. in addition to this it was saturday, when the wants are nearly double in comparison with other days. at least three pounds was needed to help us comfortably through the day; but there was nothing towards this in hand. my only hope was in god. the very necessity led me to expect help for this day; for if none had come, the lord's name would have been dishonored. between twelve and one, two sisters in the lord called on me; and the one gave me two pounds, and the other seven shillings sixpence for the orphans. with this i went to the boys' orphan house about one o'clock, where i found the children at dinner. brother b. put the following note into my hand, which he was just going to send off:-- "dear brother,--with potatoes from the children's garden, and with apples from the tree in the playground (which apples were used for apple-dumplings), and four shillings sixpence, the price of some articles given by one of the laborers, we have a dinner. there is much needed. but the lord has provided and will provide." august . lord's day. as we have often found it to be the case, so it is again now. after the lord has tried our faith, he, in the love of his heart, gives us an abundance, to show that not in anger, but for the glory of his name, and for the trial of our faith, he has allowed us to be poor. the lord has kindly given to-day twelve pounds seventeen shillings. august . for many weeks past very little has come in for the other funds. the chief supply has been by the sale of bibles. last saturday i was not able to pay the whole of the weekly salaries of the teachers in the day schools, which, however, does not make me a debtor to them, as it is _an understood thing_ that they have not to look to me for payment, but to the lord. to-day again only two shillings was in hand, whilst several pounds were needed to pay the salaries. it appeared now plainly to be the will of the lord that, as all the laborers in the orphan houses know about the state of the funds, so the brethren and sisters who labor in the day schools should share the trial of faith and the joy of faith with us. accordingly we all met, and after i had laid on their hearts the importance of keeping to themselves, for the lord's sake, the state of the funds, we prayed together. september . saturday. because there had come in so little during the last days, at least three pounds was requisite to supply the need of to-day. there was, however, not one penny in hand when the day commenced. last evening, the laborers in the orphan houses, together with the teachers of the day schools, met for prayer. this morning, one of the teachers, who had a little money of his own, brought one pound five shillings sixpence. thus we were enabled to provide for the dinner. in the afternoon all of us met again for prayer. another teacher of the day schools gave two shillings sixpence, and one shilling came in besides. but all this was not enough. there was no dinner provided for to-morrow, nor was there any money to take in milk to-morrow, and besides this a number of other little things were to be purchased, that there might be no real want of anything. now observe how our kind father helped us! between seven and eight this evening, a sister, whose heart the lord has made willing to take on her the service of disposing of the articles which are sent for sale, brought two pounds ten shillings sixpence, for some of the things which came a fortnight ago from worcester, and last wednesday from leeds. the sister stated, that though she did not feel at all well, she had come because she had it so laid on her heart that she could not stay away. september . how kindly has the lord so ordered it that for some time past the income for the school fund should have been so little, in order that thus we might be constrained to let the laborers in the day schools share our joys and our trials of faith, which had been before kept from them! but as above two years ago the lord ordered it so that it became needful to communicate to the laborers in the orphan houses the state of the funds, and made it a blessing to them, so that i am now able to leave bristol, and yet the work goes on, so, i doubt not, the brethren and sisters who are teachers in the day schools will be greatly blessed by being thus partakers of our precious secret respecting the state of the funds. our prayer meetings have been already a blessing to us, and united us more than ever in the work. we have them now every morning at seven, and we shall continue them, the lord helping us, till we see his hand stretched forth, not merely in giving us means for the teachers, but also for other purposes; for we need a stove in one of the school-rooms, a fresh supply of several kinds of bibles and new testaments, and it is desirable to have means to help missionary brethren who labor in dependence upon the lord for the supply of their temporal necessities. september . to-day a brother from the neighborhood of london gave me ten pounds, to be laid out as it might be most needed. as we have been praying many days for the school, bible, and missionary funds, i took it all for them. this brother knew nothing about our work, when he came three days since to bristol. thus the lord, to show his continual care over us, raises up new helpers. they that trust in the lord shall never be confounded. some who helped for a while may fall asleep in jesus; others may grow cold in the service of the lord; others may be as desirous as ever to help, but have no longer the means; others may have both a willing heart to help, and have also the means, but may see it the lord's will to lay them out in another way;--and thus, from one cause or another, were we to lean upon man, we should surely be confounded; but, in leaning upon the living god alone, we are beyond _disappointment_, and beyond _being forsaken because of death_, or _want of means_, or _want of love_, or _because of the claims of other work_. october . it is now five weeks since we have daily met for prayer. not indeed merely to ask for means, but for grace and wisdom for ourselves in reference to the work, for the conversion of the children under our care, for grace for those children who stand already on the lord's side, for a blessing upon the circulation of the scriptures, for a blessing upon the work with reference to the church at large, etc. but whilst we thus, as the spirit led us, prayed for various things, nevertheless, the lack of means was that which had brought us day after day together. we asked the lord to give us the means which are needed for carrying on the day schools, for buying bibles, as several sorts are needed, and to enable us to assist missionary work in foreign countries. never at any previous time, since first the work commenced on march , , have we had to continue so long a time in prayer for these funds, without obtaining the answer. the lord, however, gave us grace to "continue in prayer," and kept our hearts in the assurance that he would help. now, though he delayed long, before he sent us the answer, in his own time he made it manifest that he had not only not shut his ear against our prayers in anger, but that he had answered them _even before we called_; for there was sent to-day, from the east indies, a bank order for one hundred pounds, which had been sent off two months since, therefore several days _before we even began_ to pray. it was left to me to apply this money as it might be needed. as we had so long and so particularly prayed for these funds, i took the whole of it for them, and not for the orphan fund. october . yesterday morning, when i took my hat from the rail, i found in one of my gloves a note containing a five-pound note, and the following words: "two pounds for the orphans, the rest for dear brother and sister müller." there came in still further yesterday two pounds twelve shillings sixpence. thus we are again supplied for about three days. in reference to the note which was put into my hat, containing five pounds, i just add, that i had repeatedly asked the lord for means for our own personal expenses, previous to the reception of it, as we had but very little money for ourselves. indeed, the very moment before i took my hat from the rail, i had risen from my knees, having again asked the lord for means for ourselves and for the orphans. november . i purposed to have gone to trowbridge yesterday, and had settled it so on friday evening with brother ----. but no sooner had i decided to do so, than i felt no peace in the prospect of going. after having prayed about it on friday evening and yesterday morning, i determined not to go, and i felt sure the lord had some reason for not allowing me to feel happy in the prospect of going. i began now to look out for blessings for this day, considering that the lord had kept me here for good to some souls. this evening i was especially led to press the truth on the consciences of the unconverted, entreating and beseeching them, and telling them also that i felt sure the lord had, in mercy to some of them, kept me from going to trowbridge. i spoke on genesis vi. - . immediately after, i saw fruit of the word. an individual fully opened his heart to me. i walked about with him till about ten o'clock, even as long as i had any strength left. [about ten days afterwards, a brother told me of a poor drunkard who heard me that evening, and who since then had stayed up till about twelve o'clock every night to read the scriptures, and who had not been intoxicated since.] at the close of these details, with reference to the year from december , , to december , , i make a few remarks. . though our trials of faith during this year also have been many, and recurring more frequently than during any previous year, and though we have been often reduced to the greatest extremity, _yet the orphans have lacked nothing_; for they always have had good nourishing food, and the necessary articles of clothing, etc. . should it be supposed by any one, in reading the plain details of our trials of faith during this year, that on account of them we have been disappointed in our expectations, or are discouraged in the work, my answer is, that the very reverse is the fact. such days were expected from the commencement of the work; nay, more than this, the chief end for which the institution was established is, that the church of christ at large might be benefited by seeing manifestly the hand of god stretched out on our behalf in the hour of need, in answer to prayer. our desire, therefore, is, not that we may be without trials of faith, but that the lord graciously would be pleased to support us in the trial, that we may not dishonor him by distrust. . this way of living brings the lord remarkably near. he is, as it were, morning by morning inspecting our stores, that accordingly he may send help. greater and more manifest nearness of the lord's presence i have never had than when after breakfast there were no means for dinner, and then the lord provided the dinner for more than one hundred persons; or when, after dinner, there were no means for the tea, and yet the lord provided the tea; and all this without one single human being having been informed about our need. this moreover i add, that although we who have been eyewitnesses of these gracious interpositions of our father, have not been so benefited by them as we might and ought to have been, yet we have in some measure derived blessings from them. one thing is certain, that we are not tired of doing the lord's work in this way. . it has been more than once observed, that such a way of living must lead the mind continually to think whence food, clothes, etc., are to come, and so unfit for spiritual exercises. now, in the first place, i answer that our minds are very little tried about the necessaries of life, just because the care respecting them is laid upon our father, who, because we are his children, _not only allows_ us to do so, _but will have_ us to do so. secondly, it must be remembered, that, even if our minds were much tried about the supplies for the children, and the means for the other work, yet, because we look to the lord _alone_ for these things, we should only be brought, by our sense of need, into the presence of our father for the supply of it; and that is a blessing, and no injury to the soul. thirdly, our souls realize that for the glory of god, and for the benefit of the church at large it is that we have these trials of faith, and that leads again to god, to ask him for fresh supplies of grace, to be enabled to be faithful in this service. . my heart's desire and prayer to god is, that all believers who read this may by these many answers to prayer be encouraged to pray, particularly as it regards the conversion of their friends and relations, their own state of heart, the state of the church at large, and the success of the preaching of the gospel. do not think, dear reader, that these things are peculiar to us, and cannot be enjoyed by all the saints. although every child of god is not called by the lord to establish schools and orphan houses, and to trust in the lord for means for them; yet there is nothing on the part of the lord to hinder, why you may not know, by experience, far more abundantly than we do now, his willingness to answer the prayers of his children. do but prove the faithfulness of god. do but carry your every want to him. only maintain an _upright_ heart. but if you live in sin; if you wilfully and habitually do things respecting which you know that they are contrary to the will of god, then you cannot expect to be heard by him. "if i regard iniquity in my heart, the lord will not hear me; but verily god hath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer." psalm lxvi. , . . as it regards the children of god, who by the labor of their hands, or in any business or profession, earn their bread, particularly the poorer classes of them, i give my affectionate yet solemn advice to carry into practice the principles on which this institution is conducted as it regards not going into debt. are you in debt? then make confession of sin respecting it. sincerely confess to the lord that you have sinned against rom. xiii. . and if you are resolved no more to contract debt, whatever may be the result, and you are waiting on the lord and truly trust in him, your present debts will soon be paid. are you out of debt? then, whatever your future want may be, be resolved, in the strength of jesus, rather to suffer the greatest privation, whilst waiting upon god for help, than to use unscriptural means, such as borrowing, taking goods on credit, etc., to deliver yourselves. this way needs but to be tried, in order that its excellency may be enjoyed. there are a few points more which may be of interest to the believing reader, which i shall now add. . there have been, during this year, six day schools for poor children _entirely_ supported by the funds of our institution, all of which have been established by us. the number of all the children that have had schooling in the day schools through the medium of the institution, since its formation, amounts to , ; the number of those at present in the six day schools is . these day schools have defrayed, by the payments of the children, about the sixth part of their own expenses. . there is one sunday school entirely supported by the funds of the institution. . there has been, since the formation of the institution, one adult school connected with it, in which, on the lord's day afternoons, since that time, about adults have been instructed. . the number of bibles and testaments which have been circulated through the medium of our institution, during the last year, amounts to copies. there have been circulated since march , , , copies of the scriptures. . there have been laid out, during the last year, of the funds of the institution, £ , s. d. for missionary purposes. . there are at present ninety-one orphans in the three houses. the total number of the orphans who have been under our care from april , , to december , , amounts to . _without any one having been asked for anything by us_, the sum of £ , , s. d. has been given to us for the orphan houses, _as the result of prayer to god_, since the commencement of the work. the blessing of the lord upon the work in reference to the souls of the children. . during the last fourteen months there have been meetings purposely for children, at which the scriptures have been expounded to them. at these meetings an almost universal attention is manifested by them, which i thankfully ascribe to the lord, and upon which i look as a forerunner of greater blessing. . during the last year three of the sunday-school children have been received into fellowship. . at the end of last year there had been eight orphans received into communion; during the present year fourteen have been received; in all, twenty-two. it was stated in the last year's report that we were looking for fruit upon our labors as it regards the conversion of the children, as the lord had given to us a measure of earnestness in praying for them. the lord has dealt with us according to our expectations. but i expect far more than what we have seen. while the chief object of our work has been and is still the manifestation of the heart of god towards his children, and the reality of power with god in prayer, yet, as we hoped, and as it has been our prayer, the lord gives to us also the joy of seeing one child after another brought to stand openly on the lord's side. as far as my experience goes, it appears to me that believers generally have expected far too little of _present_ fruit upon their labors among children. there has been a hoping that the lord some day or other would own the instruction which they give to children, and would answer at some time or other, though after many years only, the prayers which they offer up on their behalf. now, while such passages as proverbs xxii. , ecclesiastes xi. , galatians vi. , cor. xv. , give unto us assurance not merely respecting everything which we do for the lord, in general, but also respecting bringing up children in the fear of the lord, in particular, that our labor is not in vain in the lord; yet we have to guard against abusing such passages, by thinking it a matter of little moment whether we see _present_ fruit or not; but, on the contrary, we should give the lord no rest till we see present fruit, and therefore in persevering yet submissive prayer we should make known our requests unto god. i add, as an encouragement to believers who labor among children, that during the last two years seventeen other young persons or children, from the age of eleven and a half to seventeen, have been received into fellowship among us, and that i am looking out now for many more to be converted, and that not merely of the orphans, but of the sunday and day school children. as in so many respects we live in remarkable times, so in this respect also, that the lord is working greatly among the children in many places. the total of the expenses connected with the objects of the institution, exclusive of the orphan houses, from november , , to november , , is £ , s. ½d. the balance in hand on nov. , , was £ , s. ¾d. the total of the expenses connected with the three orphan houses, from december , , to december , , is £ , s. ½d. the balance in hand on december , , was £ , s. ¼d. review of the year . . as to the church. there are at present in communion; have been added during the past year, of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the lord among us. . as to the supply of my temporal necessities. the lord has been pleased to send me, by the freewill offerings of the saints, £ , s. ½.[ ] [footnote : it may not be improper to state here that the little patrimony to which mr. müller became entitled upon the decease of his father was devoted to the purposes of charity and religion, in accordance with the principle of action indicated on page . this fact is not mentioned by mr. m., but has come to the knowledge of the editor through another channel.--ed.] chapter xiii. faith strengthened by exercise. . a want supplied--resources exceeding the demand--evil of suretyship--power of christian love--god's word the food of the soul--preparation for the hour of trial--poverty--depending only on the living god. january , . during this week we have daily met for prayer, for the especial purpose of asking the lord to give us the means of having the last year's report printed. it is three weeks since it might have been sent to the press. we felt this now to be a matter of especial importance, as, if the report were not soon printed, it would be known that it arose from want of means. by the donations which came in during these last days for the orphans, and by ten pounds which was given to-day for the other funds, we have the means of defraying the expense of about two thirds of the printing, and therefore a part of the manuscript was sent off, trusting that the lord would be pleased to send in more means before two sheets are printed off; but if not, we should then stop till we have more. _evening._ there came in still further five pounds; also, ten shillings and three shillings. jan. . monday. during the last week the lord not only supplied us richly with all we needed for the orphans, but enabled us to put by several pounds towards printing the report. on saturday evening there was only three shillings sixpence left. on this account i was looking out for answers to my prayers for means, and the lord did not disappoint me. there came in altogether yesterday nine pounds sixteen shillings fourpence. we have now enough even for the last part of the report. jan. . to-day i have received a letter from a brother, in which he empowers me to draw upon his bankers, during this year, to the amount of one thousand pounds, for any brethren who have it in their hearts to give themselves to missionary service in the east indies, and whom i shall consider called for this service, as far as i am able to judge. [this power lasted only for that year; but no brethren who seemed to be suitable offered themselves for this service. this is another fresh proof how much more easily pecuniary means can be obtained than suitable individuals. indeed, in all my experience i have found it thus, that if i could only settle that a certain thing to be done was according to the will of god, the means were soon obtained to carry it into effect.] jan. . this evening i was called to the house of a brother and sister who are in the deepest distress. the brother had become surety for the debts of his son, not in the least expecting that he ever should be called upon for the payment of them; but, as his son has not discharged his debts, the father has been called upon to do so; and except the money is paid within a few days, he will be imprisoned. how precious it is, even for this life, to act according to the word of god! this perfect revelation of his mind gives us directions for everything, even the most minute affairs of this life. it commands us, "be not thou one of them that strike hands, or of them that are sureties for debts." prov. xxii. . the way in which satan ensnares persons, to bring them into the net, and to bring trouble upon them by becoming sureties, is, that he seeks to represent the matter as if there were no danger connected with that particular case, and that one might be sure one should never be called upon to pay the money; but the lord, the faithful friend, tells us in his own word that the only way "to be sure" in such a matter is "to hate suretyship." prov. xi. . the following points seem to me of solemn moment for consideration, if i were called upon to become surety for another: . what obliges the person who wishes me to become surety for him to need a surety? is it really a good cause in which i am called upon to become surety? i do not remember ever to have met with a case in which in a plain, and godly, and in all respects scriptural matter such a thing occurred. there was generally some sin or other connected with it. . if i become surety, notwithstanding what the lord has said to me in his word, am i in such a position that no one will be injured by my being called upon to fulfil the engagements of the person for whom i am going to be surety? in most instances this alone ought to keep one from it. . if still i become surety, the amount of money for which i become responsible must be so in my power that i am able to produce it whenever it is called for, in order that the name of the lord may not be dishonored. . but if there be the possibility of having to fulfil the engagements of the person in whose stead i have to stand, is it the will of the lord that i should spend my means in that way? is it not rather his will that my means should be spent in another way? . how can i get over the plain word of the lord, which is to the contrary, even if the first four points could be satisfactorily settled? march . from february up to this day our necessities in the day schools were supplied by thirteen small donations, and by a donation of eight pounds from q. q. to-day i received fifteen pounds. when this arrived there was not one penny in hand for the day schools, whilst two days after about seven pounds was needed. this money came from a considerable distance, and from a brother who never had assisted in this work before, whereby the lord afresh shows how easily he can raise up new helpers. for the encouragement of believers, who are tried by having unconverted relatives and friends, i will relate the following circumstance, the truth of which i know. baron von k., who resided in my own country, the kingdom of prussia, had been for many years a disciple of the lord jesus. even about the commencement of this century, when there was almost universal darkness or even open infidelity spread over the whole continent of europe, he knew the lord jesus; and when, about the year , there was the greatest distress in silesia among many thousands of weavers, this blessed man of god took the following gracious step for his lord and master. as the weavers had no employment, the whole continent almost being in an unsettled state on account of napoleon's career, it seemed to him the will of the lord that he should use his very considerable property to furnish these poor weavers with work, in order to save them from the greatest state of destitution, though in doing this there was not only no prospect of gain, but the certain prospect of immense loss. he therefore found employment for about six thousand weavers. but he was not content with this. whilst he gave the bread which perishes, he also sought to minister to the souls of these weavers. to that end he sought to set believers as overseers over this immense weaving concern, and not only saw to it that the weavers were instructed in spiritual things, but he himself also set the truth before them. thus it went on for a good while, till at last, on account of the loss of the chief part of his property, he was obliged to think about giving it up. but by this time this precious act of mercy had so commended itself to the government that it was taken up by them and carried on till the times altered. baron von k. was, however, appointed director of the whole concern as long as it existed. this dear man of god was not content with this. he travelled through many countries to visit the prisons, for the sake of improving the temporal and spiritual condition of the prisoners, and among all the other things which he sought to do for the lord was this also in particular: he assisted poor students whilst at the university of berlin, especially those who studied divinity, as it is called, in order to get access to them, and to win them for the lord. one day a most talented young man, whose father lived at breslau, where there is likewise a university, heard of the aged baron's kindness to students, and he therefore wrote to him, requesting him to assist him, as his own father could not well afford to support him any longer, having other children to provide for. a short time afterwards young t. received a most kind reply from the baron, inviting him to come to berlin; but, before this letter arrived, the young student had heard that baron von k. was a pietist or mystic, as true believers are contemptuously called in germany; and as young t. was of a highly philosophical turn of mind, reasoning about everything, questioning the truth of revelation, yea, questioning, most sceptically, the existence of god, he much disliked the prospect of going to the old baron. still, he thought he could but try, and if he did not like it, he was not bound to remain in connection with him. he arrived in berlin on a day when there was a great review of the troops, and, being full of this, he began to speak about it to the steward of the baron. the steward, however, being a believer, turned the conversation, before the young student was aware of it, to spiritual things; and yet he could not say that it had been forced. he began another subject, and a third, but still it always came presently again to spiritual things. at last the baron came, who received young t. in the most affectionate and familiar manner, as if he had been his equal, and as if young t. bestowed a favor on him, rather than that he was favored by the baron. the baron offered him a room in his own house, and a place at his own table, while he should be studying in berlin, which young t. accepted. he now sought in every way to treat the young student in the most kind and affectionate way, and as much as possible to serve him, and to show him the power of the gospel in his own life, without arguing with him, yea, without speaking to him directly about his soul. for, discovering in young t. a most reasoning and sceptical mind, he avoided in every possible way getting into any argument with him, while the young student again and again said to himself, "i wish i could get into an argument with this old fool; i would show him his folly." but the baron avoided it. when the young student used to come home in the evening, and the baron heard him come, he would himself go to meet him on entering the house, would light his candle, would assist and serve him, in any way he could, even to the fetching the bootjack for him, and helping him to take off his boots. thus this lowly aged disciple went on for some time, whilst the young student still sought an opportunity for arguing with him, but wondered nevertheless how the baron could thus serve him. one evening, on the return of young t. to the baron's house, when the baron was making himself his servant as usual, he could refrain himself no longer, but burst out thus: "baron, how can you do all this? you see i do not care about you, and how are you able to continue to be so kind to me, and thus to serve me?" the baron replied, "my dear young friend, i have learned it from the lord jesus. i wish you would read through the gospel of john. good night." the student now for the first time in his life sat down and read the word of god in a disposition of mind to be willing to learn, whilst up to that time he had never read the holy scriptures but with the view of wishing to find out arguments against them. it pleased god to bless him. from that time he became himself a follower of the lord jesus, and has been so ever since. may . it has recently pleased the lord to teach me a truth, irrespective of human instrumentality, as far as i know, the benefit of which i have not lost, though now, while preparing the fifth edition for the press, more than fourteen years have since passed away. the point is this: i saw more clearly than ever that the first great and primary business to which i ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the lord. the first thing to be concerned about was not how much i might serve the lord, how i might glorify the lord; but how i might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished. for i might seek to set the truth before the unconverted, i might seek to benefit believers, i might seek to relieve the distressed, i might in other ways seek to behave myself as it becomes a child of god in this world; and yet, not being happy in the lord, and not being nourished and strengthened in my inner man day by day, all this might not be attended to in a right spirit. before this time my practice had been, at least for ten years previously, as an habitual thing to give myself to prayer, after having dressed myself in the morning. now, i saw that the most important thing i had to do was to give myself to the reading of the word of god, and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be comforted, encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, by means of the word of god, whilst meditating on it, my heart might be brought into experimental communion with the lord. i began therefore to meditate on the new testament from the beginning, early in the morning. the first thing i did, after having asked in a few words the lord's blessing upon his precious word, was, to begin to meditate on the word of god, searching as it were into every verse, to get blessing out of it; not for the sake of the public ministry of the word, not for the sake of preaching on what i had meditated upon, but for the sake of obtaining food for my own soul. the result i have found to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes my soul has been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or to intercession, or to supplication; so that, though i did not, as it were, give myself to _prayer_, but to _meditation_, yet it turned almost immediately more or less into prayer. when thus i have been for a while making confession, or intercession, or supplication, or have given thanks, i go on to the next words or verse, turning all, as i go on, into prayer for myself or others, as the word may lead to it, but still continually keeping before me that food for my own soul is the object of my meditation. the result of this is, that there is always a good deal of confession, thanksgiving, supplication, or intercession mingled with my meditation, and that my inner man almost invariably is even sensibly nourished and strengthened, and that by breakfast time, with rare exceptions, i am in a peaceful if not happy state of heart. thus also the lord is pleased to communicate unto me that which, either very soon after or at a later time, i have found to become food for other believers, though it was not for the sake of the public ministry of the word that i gave myself to meditation, but for the profit of my own inner man. with this mode i have likewise combined the being out in the open air for an hour, an hour and a half, or two hours, before breakfast, walking about in the fields, and in the summer sitting for a little on the stiles, if i find it too much to walk all the time. i find it very beneficial to my health to walk thus for meditation before breakfast, and am now so in the habit of using the time for that purpose, that when i get into the open air i generally take out a new testament of good-sized type, which i carry with me for that purpose, besides my bible; and i find that i can profitably spend my time in the open air, which formerly was not the case, for want of habit. i used to consider the time spent in walking a loss, but now i find it very profitable, not only to my body, but also to my soul. the walking out before breakfast is of course not necessarily connected with this matter, and every one has to judge according to his strength and other circumstances. the difference, then, between my former practice and my present one is this: formerly, when i rose, i began to pray as soon as possible, and generally spent all my time till breakfast in prayer, or almost all the time. at all events i almost invariably began with prayer, except when i felt my soul to be more than usually barren, in which case i read the word of god for food, or for refreshment, or for a revival and renewal of my inner man, before i gave myself to prayer. but what was the result? i often spent a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, or even an hour, on my knees, before being conscious to myself of having derived comfort, encouragement, humbling of soul, etc.; and often, after having suffered much from wandering of mind for the first ten minutes, or a quarter of an hour, or even half an hour, i only then began _really to pray_. i scarcely ever suffer now in this way. for my heart being nourished by the truth, being brought into _experimental_ fellowship with god, i speak to my father and to my friend (vile though i am, and unworthy of it) about the things that he has brought before me in his precious word. it often now astonishes me that i did not sooner see this point. in no book did i ever read about it. no public ministry ever brought the matter before me. no private intercourse with a brother stirred me up to this matter. and yet now, since god has taught me this point, it is as plain to me as anything, that the first thing the child of god has to do morning by morning is, to _obtain food for his inner man_. as the outward man is not fit for work for any length of time except we take food, and as this is one of the first things we do in the morning, so it should be with the inner man. we should take food for that, as every one must allow. now what is the food for the inner man? not _prayer_, but _the word of god_; and here again, not the simple reading of the word of god, so that it only passes through our minds, just as water runs through a pipe, but considering what we read, pondering over it, and applying it to our hearts. when we pray, we speak to god. now, prayer, in order to be continued for any length of time in any other than a formal manner, requires, generally speaking, a measure of strength or godly desire, and the season, therefore, when this exercise of the soul can be most effectually performed is after the inner man has been nourished by meditation on the word of god, where we find our father speaking to us, to encourage us, to comfort us, to instruct us, to humble us, to reprove us. we may therefore profitably meditate, with god's blessing, though we are ever so weak spiritually; nay, the weaker we are, the more we need meditation for the strengthening of our inner man. there is thus far less to be feared from wandering of mind than if we give ourselves to prayer without having had previously time for meditation. i dwell so particularly on this point because of the immense spiritual profit and refreshment i am conscious of having derived from it myself, and i affectionately and solemnly beseech all my fellow-believers to ponder this matter. by the blessing of god i ascribe to this mode the help and strength which i have had from god to pass in peace through deeper trials, in various ways, than i had ever had before; and after having now above fourteen years tried this way, i can most fully, in the fear of god, commend it. in addition to this i generally read, after family prayer, larger portions of the word of god, when i still pursue my practice of reading regularly onward in the holy scriptures, sometimes in the new testament and sometimes in the old, and for more than twenty-six years i have proved the blessedness of it. i take, also, either then or at other parts of the day, time more especially for prayer. how different, when the soul is refreshed and made happy early in the morning, from what it is when, without spiritual preparation, the service, the trials, and the temptations of the day come upon one! oct. . when i had again not one penny in hand for the necessities of this day, there was brought to me this morning ten shillings for the orphans, which had been sent from kensington. in the paper which contained the money, was written: "_your heavenly father_ knoweth that ye have need of _these_ things." "trust in the lord." this word of our lord is to me of more value than many bank notes. about five minutes later i received from an irish sister ten pounds, through her banker in london. i mention here, as a point particularly to be noticed, that after the season of comparative abundance had come to an end in september, the lord did not _at once_ allow us to be so sharply tried as we were afterwards. he dealt in the same gentle way with us three years before, when the trials of faith in this part of the work first commenced. nov. . at a time of the greatest poverty one pound was sent by a lady from birmingham. about half an hour afterwards i received ten pounds from a brother who had saved up one hundred and fifty pounds, and put it into a savings bank, but who now sees that to devote this money to the promotion of the work of god tends more to the glory of the name of jesus than to retain it in the savings bank upon interest for a time of sickness or old age; for he is assured that should such times come, the same lord, who has hitherto cared for him whilst in health and strength and able to work, will also care for him then. the same brother gave me three pounds a fortnight since. this ten pounds came in very seasonably; for, though we had been able to provide for the absolute necessities of to-day, yet there was want in many respects, especially as a boy is just going out as an apprentice, who needs tools and an outfit. nov. . saturday. this morning i took one shilling out of the box in my house. this shilling was all there was towards the need of to-day. pause, dear reader, for a few moments! consider that there are more than a hundred persons to be provided with everything they require; consider that there is no money in hand; and consider also that this is the case not once nor twice in the course of the year, but very frequently. is it not precious, under such circumstances, to have the living god as a father to go to, who is ever able and ever willing to help, as it may be really needed? and to this privilege every one has a title who believes in the lord jesus, being as such a child of god. galatians iii. . for though all believers in the lord jesus are not called upon to establish orphan houses, schools for poor children, etc., and trust in god for means; yet all believers, according to the will of god concerning them in christ jesus, may cast, and ought to cast, all their care upon him who careth for them, and need not be anxiously concerned about anything, as is plainly to be seen from peter v. , philippians iv. , matthew vi. - . under these circumstances of need, a silver watch, which _only yesterday afternoon_ had become the property of the orphan fund, was disposed of, whereby we were helped through the expenses of to-day. the coals are almost gone in each of the houses. every article of provision, etc., is likewise much reduced. truly, we are exceedingly poor; nevertheless there are the necessary provisions till monday morning, and thus we are brought to the close of another week. this afternoon all the laborers met for prayer. nov. . when we met again this afternoon for prayer, we had reason to praise, for the lord had sent in means. this morning was given to me five pounds, and six shillings had come in by sale of articles. nov. . last friday brother craik and i had a meeting for inquirers and candidates for fellowship. we saw eight, and had to send away ten whom we could not see, our strength being quite gone after we had seen the eight, one after another. this evening we saw seven, and had to send away three. nov. . the last four days we have daily met for prayer, there being no means to pay the teachers in the day schools. besides this, we need a stove in one of the school-rooms; also some bibles and tracts. to-day i received two pounds from a brother at exmouth. dec. . we are now brought to the close of the sixth year of this part of the work, _having only in hand the money which has been put by for the rent_; but during the whole of this year we have been supplied with all that was needed. during the last three years we had closed the accounts on this day, and had, a few days after, some public meetings, at which, for the benefit of the hearers, we stated how the lord had dealt with us during the year, and the substance of what had been stated at those meetings was afterwards printed for the benefit of the church at large. this time, however, it appeared to us better to delay for a while both the public meetings and the publishing of the report. through grace we had learned to lean upon the lord only, being assured that if we never were to speak or write one single word more about this work, yet should we be supplied with means, as long as he should enable us to depend on himself alone. but whilst we neither had had those public meetings for the purpose of exposing our necessity, nor had had the account of the lord's dealings with us published for the sake of working thereby upon the feelings of the readers, and thus inducing them to give money, but only that we might by our experience benefit other saints; yet it might have appeared to some that in making known our circumstances we were actuated by some such motives. what better proof, therefore, could we give of our depending upon the living god alone, and not upon public meetings or printed reports, than that, _in the midst of our deep poverty_, instead of being glad for the time to have come when we could make known our circumstances, we still went on quietly for some time longer, without saying anything. we therefore determined, as we sought and still seek in this work to act for the profit of the saints generally, to delay both the public meetings and the reports for a few months. _naturally_ we should have been, of course, as glad as any one to have exposed our poverty at that time; but _spiritually_ we were enabled to delight even then in the prospect of the increased benefit that might be derived by the church at large from our acting as we did. chapter xiv. walking in darkness. - . "god's way leads into trial"--grounds of thankfulness--protracted darkness--cast down, but not destroyed--trust in god commended--the means of its attainment--review of the work. december , . from nov. to this day my fellow-laborers in the church and i have seen thirty inquirers and candidates for fellowship, and some of them we have seen repeatedly. how can we sufficiently praise the lord for still continuing to use us in his service? dec. . saturday morning. there is now the greatest need, and only fourpence in hand, which i found in the box at my house; yet i fully believe the lord will supply us this day also with all that is required.--pause a few moments, dear reader. observe two things. we acted _for god_ in delaying the public meetings and the publishing of the report; but _god's way leads always into trial, so far as sight and sense are concerned_. _nature_ always will be tried _in god's ways_. the lord was saying by this poverty, "i will now see whether you truly lean upon me, and whether you truly look to me." of all the seasons that i had ever passed through since i had been living in this way, _up to that time_, i never knew any period in which my faith was tried so sharply as during the four months from december , , to april , . but observe further: we might even now have altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publishing the report; for _no one knew our determination, at this time_, concerning this point. nay, on the contrary, we knew with what delight very many children of god were looking forward to receive further accounts. but the lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion at which we arrived under his guidance.--now to return to saturday, dec. . _evening._ the lord has been very kind to us this day. in the course of the morning six shillings came in. we had thus, with what provisions there were in hand, all that was needed for the dinner, but no means to provide for the next meal in the afternoon. a few minutes after the laborers had met together for prayer this morning, there was given to one of them a sovereign for himself. by means of this all that was needed for tea could be procured. when we again met in the evening for prayer, we found that the supplies amounted to two pounds eight shillings twopence, enough for all that was required to-day. but one thing more is to be noticed respecting this day. i was informed that three more of the orphans have been recently brought to the knowledge of the truth. we have now been meeting daily for prayer during the last five weeks, and thus the lord has not merely heard our prayers respecting the funds, but has also blessed these children. dec. . this is now the sixth week that the laborers in the day schools and orphan houses have daily met for prayer. several precious answers we have already received since we began to meet, as it regards pecuniary supplies, fresh instances of conversion among the children, etc. one of our petitions has been that the lord would be pleased to furnish us with means for a stove at callowhill street schoolroom. but, though we had often mentioned this matter before the lord, he seemed not to regard our request. yesterday afternoon, while walking in my little garden, and meditating and praying, i had an unusual assurance that the time was now come when the lord would answer our request, which arose partly from my being able _to believe_ that _he would_ send the means, and partly from the fact that the answer could no longer be delayed without prayer having failed in this matter, as we could not assemble the children again, after the christmas vacation, without there being a stove put up. and now, dear reader, observe: this morning i received from a. b. twenty pounds, and we have thus much more than is required for a stove. review of the year . . in reading over my journal, i find that the lord has given me, during this year, many precious answers to prayer, in addition to those which have been recorded in the previous part of the narrative. i mention the following for the encouragement of the reader: . one of the orphan boys needed to be apprenticed. i knew of no suitable believing master who would take an in-door apprentice. i gave myself to prayer, and brought the matter daily before the lord. i marked it down among the subjects for which i would daily ask the lord; and at last, though from may to september i had to pray about the matter, the lord granted my request; for in september i found a suitable place for him. . on may i began to ask the lord that he would be pleased to deliver a certain sister in the lord from the great spiritual depression under which she was suffering, and after three days the lord granted me my request. . on june i began to ask the lord to deliver a brother at a distance from the great spiritual nervousness in which he found himself shut up, which not only distressed him exceedingly, and in a great measure hindered him in his service towards the world and the church, but which in consequence was also a trial to the saints who knew and valued this dear brother. this petition i brought many times before the lord. the year passed away, and it was not granted. but yet at last this request also has been granted to me and to the many dear saints who i know prayed for this dear brother; for though he was for some years in this state, it is now [in ] two years and more since he has been quite restored. . on june i also began to ask the lord daily in his mercy to keep a sister in the lord from insanity, who was then apparently on the very border of it; and i have now [in ] to record to his praise, after nearly four years have passed away, that the lord has kept her from it. . during this year i was informed about the conversion of one of the very greatest sinners that i had ever heard of in all my service for the lord. repeatedly i fell on my knees with his wife, and asked the lord for his conversion, when she came to me in the deepest distress of soul, on account of her most barbarous and cruel treatment that she received from him in his bitter enmity against her for the lord's sake, and because he could not provoke her to be in a passion, and _she would not_ strike him again, and the like. at the time when it was at its worst i pleaded especially on his behalf the promise in matthew xviii. : "again i say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven." and now this awful persecutor is converted. . on may i began to ask the lord for greater real spiritual prosperity among the saints among whom i labor in bristol than there ever yet had been among them; and now i have to record to the praise of the lord that truly he has answered this request; for, considering all things, at no period has there been more manifestation of grace, and truth, and spiritual power among us, than there is now while i am writing this for the press [ ]. . the state of the church with reference to numbers. there are at present in communion, having been added during the past year, of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the lord among us. . the lord's goodness as to my temporal supplies during this year. he has been pleased to give me by freewill offerings of the saints, £ , s. ¾d. january , . this evening we had a precious public prayer meeting. when the usual time for closing the meeting came, it appeared to me that there was a desire to continue to wait upon the lord. i therefore proposed to the brethren that those who had bodily strength, time, and a desire for waiting still longer upon the lord, would do so. at least thirty remained, and we continued till after ten in prayer, whilst several brethren prayed. i never knew prayer more really in the spirit. i experienced for myself unusual nearness to the lord, and was enabled to ask in faith, nothing doubting. jan. . as we have often found it to be the case, so it is now. after a season of more than usual poverty, comes a time of more than usual abundance. to-day the same brother who has been spoken of under november , and who has drawn his money out of the savings bank to spend it for the lord, sent twenty pounds more of it. there came in also from guernsey one pound, and one pound seven shillings besides. i am now able to order oatmeal from scotland, buy materials for the boys' clothes, order shoes, etc. thus the lord has been pleased to answer _all_ our requests with respect to the pecuniary necessities of the orphans, which we have brought before him in our prayer meetings during the last seven weeks. we have thus had of late an abundance, but the expenses have been great also; for within the last twenty-five days i have paid out above one hundred pounds. feb. . saturday. as only ten pounds ten shillings sixpence had been received since january , _i. e._ only so much as day by day was needed to provide necessaries for the orphans, there is again the greatest need. it is now twelve o'clock, and there are no means as yet to meet the expenses of to-day. the words in the prayer of jehoshaphat, "neither know we what to do, but our eyes are upon thee," are at this moment the language of my heart. _i_ likewise know not what to do, but my eyes are upon the lord, and _i am sure that he will help this day also_.--_evening._ in the course of the morning came in, by sale of articles, twelve shillings. we were able likewise to dispose of one of the articles which were sent last evening for five shillings. this afternoon one of the laborers gave me ten shillings, and three shillings came in for needlework. by means of this one pound ten shillings we were able to supply all that was needed. feb. . by what came in yesterday and the day before, the need of yesterday was supplied, and there is enough in all the houses for the meals of to-day; but in none of the houses have we been able to take in any bread; and as yesterday also but little could be taken in, there will not remain any for to-morrow; nor is there money enough to take in milk to-morrow morning. there are likewise coals needed in two houses. indeed, so far as i know, these three years and seven months, since first the funds were exhausted, we were never in greater poverty; and if the lord were not to send means before nine o'clock to-morrow morning, his name would be dishonored. but i am fully assured that he will not leave us.--_evening._ the lord has not yet been pleased to send us what is needed for to-morrow, but he has given us a fresh proof that he is mindful of us. between four and five o'clock this afternoon were sent nine plum cakes, which a sister had ordered to be baked as a treat for the orphans. these cakes were an encouragement to me to continue to look out for further supplies. there was also found in the boxes at the orphan houses two shillings and a penny halfpenny, and one shilling fourpence came in for stockings. these little donations are most precious, but they are not enough to meet the need of to-morrow; yea, before nine o'clock to-morrow morning we need more money to be able to take in the milk. truly, we are poorer than ever; but through grace my eyes look not at the empty stores and the empty purse, but to the riches of the lord only. feb. . this morning i went between seven and eight o'clock to the orphan houses, to see whether the lord had sent in anything. when i arrived there, he had just two or three minutes before sent help. a brother, in going to his house of business this morning, had gone already about half a mile, when the lord was pleased to lay the orphans upon his heart. he said, however, to himself, i cannot well return now, but will take something this evening; and thus he walked on. nevertheless, he could not go on any further, but felt himself constrained to go back, and to take to brother r. b., at the boys' orphan house, three sovereigns. [the donor himself stated this to me afterwards.] thus the lord in his faithfulness helped us. help was never more truly needed, for our poverty was never greater; nor did the help of the lord ever come more manifestly from himself; for _the brother was gone on a good distance_, it was _between seven and eight o'clock in the morning_, and it was _so short a time before money would have been needed_. consider this, beloved reader, and with us praise the lord for his goodness. praise him particularly that he enabled us to trust in him in this trying hour. there came in besides, to-day, seven shillings sixpence. feb. . saturday. never since the funds were for the first time exhausted had there come in less during any week than during this. we were only able to supply the absolute necessities; but this we were enabled to do. when the meal-times came, the lord always provided what was needful, and, considering the great distress there is now almost everywhere, our dear orphans are very well provided for. now this day began not only without there being anything in hand, but our stores were greatly reduced, and we had to procure provisions for two days. one of the laborers gave five shillings in the morning, to provide the means to take in the milk. i collected together some pamphlets, which had been given for sale, to dispose of them, and they were sold about eleven o'clock for four shillings. there came in also by sale of stockings three shillings, and twelve shillings was paid on behalf of one of the orphans. thus we were provided with means to procure a dinner, and had a _little_ towards purchasing bread, but by no means enough. all the laborers were together in prayer from half-past eleven till one, and we separated comfortably, with the purpose of meeting again in the evening. when i came home there was given to me an old broken silver pencil-case, which, though worth very little, i took as a fresh proof that our father was mindful of our need. when we met again this evening, we found that three shillings sixpence had come in by sale of stockings, and sixpence for two reports. as all this was not enough, a few old and needless articles were disposed of for four shillings, also the broken pencil-case for sixpence. i say _needless_ articles, for other articles it did not seem right to us to dispose of, in order that the lord's own deliverance might be manifest. a laborer was also still further able to give seven shillings of his own. to one of the laborers two shillings had been owed by a certain individual for more than a twelvemonth, which being paid just now, and given by him for the orphans, came in most seasonably. thus we had one pound eighteen shillings sixpence, as much as was needful to procure provisions till after breakfast on monday morning. however, the lord helped still further. between eight and nine this evening, after we had been together for prayer, and had now separated, some money was given to one of the laborers for himself, by which means he was able to give nine shillings, so that altogether two pounds seven shillings sixpence had come in this day. this has been, of all the weeks, during the last three years and seven months, one of the most trying, so far as it regards the trial of faith. thanks to the lord who has helped us this day also! thanks to him for enabling us already this morning, when we met for prayer, to praise him for the deliverance which we were sure he would work. feb. . this morning there was now again only sufficient money in hand to take in milk at two of the houses; but as a laborer was able to give six shillings sixpence, we had sufficient for the milk, and had also enough, with the provisions that were in the houses, to provide for the dinner. nothing more came in in the course of the morning, nor was i able to make inquiries how matters stood. in the afternoon, between three and four o'clock, having once more besought the lord to send us help, i sat peacefully down to give myself to meditation over the word, considering that that was now my service, though i knew not whether there was a morsel of bread for tea in any one of the houses, _but being assured that the lord would provide_. for, through grace, my mind is so fully assured of the faithfulness of the lord, that, in the midst of the greatest need, i am enabled in peace to go about my other work. indeed, did not the lord give me this, which is the result of trusting in him, i should scarcely be able to work at all; for it is now comparatively a rare thing that a day comes when i am not in need for one or the other part of the work. scarcely had i sat down to meditate, when a note was sent to me from the orphan houses, in which brother r. b., master of the orphan boys, had written thus: "on visiting the sisters in the infant and girls' orphan houses, i found them in the greatest need. there was not bread in one of the houses for tea this evening, and the six shillings sixpence was scarcely enough to supply what was needed for the dinner. i therefore opened the box in the boys' orphan house, and most unexpectedly found one pound it. thus, through the kindness of the lord, we were again abundantly supplied as it regards present necessities." in the evening the lord, in his love and faithfulness, stretched out his hand still further. i had expounded at the meeting a part of john xi. the last words on which i spoke were, "said i not unto thee that if thou wouldest believe thou shouldest see the glory of god?" when the meeting was over, as a fresh proof of the truth of this word, a note was given to me in which a sick sister sent me five pounds for the orphans. feb. . saturday. our means were now again completely spent. our provision stores were, perhaps, even more exhausted than on any previous saturday. there was not the least human likelihood of obtaining means for sufficient provisions for this _one_ day, and much less for _two_ days. when i went before breakfast to the orphan houses, i found a letter from nottingham, containing one shilling, which had arrived last evening. this was not only a sweet proof that our father remembered our need, but it was also like an earnest that he would supply us this day also with all we required. in the course of the morning came in by sale of stockings four shillings elevenpence. in the box at my house i found one shilling. one of the laborers gave four shillings tenpence. thus we were provided with those things which were absolutely needed for this day. we met between eleven and twelve o'clock for prayer. when we met again in the evening, a second letter had arrived from nottingham, with another shilling. this was a further sweet proof of our father's loving remembrance of our need; but with all this we were still without any means to provide bread for to-morrow, the lord's day. at eight o'clock i separated from my fellow-laborers, as i expected brother r. c. to arrive a little after eight at my house. i therefore requested one of the brethren to go with me, in order to take back to the orphan houses what the lord might send in by post or in any other way. it was now half past eight in the evening, and there was no bread yet in any one of the three houses for to-morrow. a few moments after, brother c. arrived, and he had not been more than about five minutes in my house when he gave me half a sovereign which he brought for the orphans. i soon found an opportunity to leave the room for a little, gave the ten shillings to the brother whom i had brought with me from the orphan houses, and who was waiting in another room; and thus between nine and ten o'clock sufficient bread could be bought. observe! for the trial of our faith the lord had allowed us to be kept waiting so long. when, however, brother c. had arrived, having money for the orphans, he _could not delay giving it at once_, a matter most worthy of notice. this has been a week full of trials of faith, but also full of deliverances. feb. . since saturday evening came in one pound eight shillings elevenpence. there was also sent from plymouth a piece of blond, a piece of quilling net, and eleven pairs of children's stockings, for sale. thus we were supplied with means for that which was requisite for the beginning of this day; but, as our stores had been so reduced at the end of last week, there was not enough for tea this afternoon. four o'clock had now come, one hour before the usual tea-time, when a brother from somersetshire came to see the orphan houses, and put a sovereign into each of the boxes. our great need soon brought out the money, and thus we were supplied. [observe! the brother, as he himself told me a few days after in the course of conversation, had but little time, and therefore rather hastily went over the houses. had he stayed long and conversed much, as might have been the case, his donations would not have been in time for the tea.] there came in one shilling besides, by needlework done by the children. feb. . greater than now our need had never been. our trials of faith have never been so sharp as during this week. indeed, so much so, that most of the laborers felt to-day considerably tried. yet neither this day has the lord suffered us to be confounded. through a remarkable circumstance one of the laborers obtained some money this morning, so that all the need of to-day could be amply met. feb. . my prayer this morning was in particular that the lord would be pleased now to look in pity upon us, and take off his hand. indeed, for several days my prayer has been that he would enable us to continue to trust in him, and not lay more upon us than he would enable us to bear. this is now again saturday. there having been given yesterday a rich supply to the matrons, i knew that not so much as usual would be required _this_ saturday; still, i thought that one pound ten shillings would be needed. between ten and eleven o'clock this morning a parcel came from clapham, containing two pounds two shillings, with two frocks, two petticoats, two chemises, two pinafores, and six handkerchiefs, all new. thus we were richly supplied for to-day, for only one pound ten shillings was needed. march . this evening were sent, by order of an irish sister, thirty-three and a half pounds of woollen yarn. respecting this donation it is to be remarked that last saturday we had asked the lord, in our prayer meeting, that he would be pleased to send us means to purchase worsted, in order that the boys might go on with their knitting. march . at a time of the greatest need, both with regard to the day schools and the orphans, so much so that we could not have gone on any longer without help, i received this day ten pounds from a brother who lives near dublin. the money was divided between the day schools and the orphan houses. the following little circumstance is to be noticed respecting this donation. as our need was so great, and my soul was, through grace, truly waiting upon the lord, i looked out for supplies in the course of this morning. the post, however, was out, and no supplies had come. this did not in the least discourage me. i said to myself, the lord can send means without the post, or even now, though the post is out, by this very delivery of letters he may have sent means, though the money is not yet in my hands. it was not long after i had thus spoken to myself when, according to my hope in god, we were helped; for the brother who sent us the ten pounds, had this time directed his letter to the boys' orphan house, whence it was sent to me. march . from the th to the th had come in four pounds five shillings elevenpence halfpenny for the orphans. this morning our poverty, which now has lasted more or less for several months, had become exceedingly great. i left my house a few minutes after seven to go to the orphan houses to see whether there was money enough to take in the milk, which is brought about eight o'clock. on my way it was especially my request that the lord would be pleased to pity us, even as a father pitieth his children, and that he would not lay more upon us than he would enable us to bear. i especially entreated him that he would now be pleased to refresh our hearts by sending us help. i likewise reminded him of the consequences that would result, both in reference to believers and unbelievers, if we should have to give up the work because of want of means, and that he therefore would not permit its coming to nought. i moreover again confessed before the lord that i deserved not that he should continue to use me in this work any longer. while i was thus in prayer, about two minutes' walk from the orphan houses, i met a brother who was going at this early hour to his business. after having exchanged a few words with him, i went on; but he presently ran after me, and gave me one pound for the orphans. thus the lord speedily answered my prayer. truly, it is worth being poor and greatly tried in faith for the sake of having day by day such precious proofs of the loving interest which our kind father takes in everything that concerns us. and how should our father do otherwise? he that has given us the greatest possible proof of his love which he could have done, in giving us his own son, surely he will with him also freely give us all things. it is worth also being poor and greatly tried in faith, if but thereby the hearts of the children of god may be comforted and their faith strengthened, and if but those who do not know god, and who may read or hear of his dealings with us, should be led thereby to see that faith in god is more than a mere notion, and that there is indeed reality in christianity. in the course of this day there came in still further thirteen shillings. march . saturday. as it has often been the case on saturdays, so it was this day in particular. we began the day in very great poverty, as only seven shillings had come in since the day before yesterday. there was not one ray of light as to natural prospects. the heart would be overwhelmed at such seasons, were there not an abundance of repose to be found by trusting in god. the trial having continued so long, and our poverty having now come to such a degree that it was necessary we should have help in order that the name of the lord might not be dishonored, i had proposed to my fellow-laborers that we should set apart this day especially for prayer. we met accordingly at half past ten in the morning. by that time had come in four shillings sixpence, seven shillings sixpence, and ten shillings. in the afternoon we met again at three, when ten shillings came in. in the evening, at seven, we met once more, there being yet about three shillings needed to provide all that was required. this also we received, and even three shillings more than was actually needed came in, just when we were about to separate. april . saturday. only one shilling sixpence had come in since yesterday afternoon. we needed more money than there was in hand, especially as it was saturday, but the lord was pleased particularly to try our faith. in the course of the morning came from some sisters in dublin, eighteen yards of calico, thirty-four yards of print, forty-three balls of cotton, and a pair of worn lady's boots. this donation came most seasonably, as we had been mentioning repeatedly the need of calico and print in our prayers, and the sewing-cotton and the pair of boots came at once into use. moreover, this donation was a sweet encouragement to me to continue waiting upon the lord. evening was now approaching, and no money had yet come in for provisions, etc., which would be needed on the lord's day. about six o'clock, i gave myself once more to prayer with my wife, and requested the lord in my prayer that if the sister who in love to him has taken upon her the service of disposing of the articles which are given for sale had any money in hand, he would be pleased to incline her heart to bring or send the money this evening. after this i sat down peacefully to read the scriptures, being assured that this time also the lord would stretch out his hand on our behalf. _about half past seven o'clock_, the sister, to whom reference has just now been made, came and brought one pound ten shillings fourpence for articles which she had sold, stating that, though she was unwell, _yet she felt herself constrained not to delay bringing this money_. thus we had all that was needed, and six shillings more. when i arrived with the money at the infant orphan house, about eight o'clock, i found my fellow-laborers in prayer, and while we still continued in prayer a sister sent a large basket of stale bread, being five brown loaves, seven bread cakes, and five french loaves. april . we were never in greater need than to-day, perhaps never in so much, when i received this morning one hundred pounds from the east indies. it is impossible to describe the real joy in god it gave me. my prayer had been again this morning particularly that our father would pity us, and now at last send larger sums. i was not in the least surprised or excited when this donation came, for i took it as that _which came in answer to prayer, and had been long looked for_. may . only three pounds ten shillings twopence halfpenny had been received since the d, on which account there would have been only enough means in hand to provide for the breakfast to-morrow morning, when in this our fresh need we received eighty-six pounds, two pair of gold earrings, a brooch, and two rupees. may . to-day, in closing the accounts, we have left, at the end of this period of seventeen months, in which we have been so often penniless, the sum of sixteen pounds eighteen shillings tenpence halfpenny for the orphans, and forty-eight pounds twelve shillings five and one fourth pence for the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. the time now seemed to us to have come, when, for the profit of the church at large, the lord's dealings with us, with reference to the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, should be made known by publishing another report. for, whilst we, on purpose, had delayed it at this time five months longer than during the previous years, and that during a period when we were in deeper poverty than during any previous time; yet, as from the commencement it had appeared to me important from time to time to make known the lord's dealings with us, so i judged it profitable still to seek to comfort, to encourage, to exhort, to instruct, and to warn the dear children of god by the printed accounts of the lord's goodness to us. though our trials of faith during these seventeen months lasted longer and were sharper than during any previous period, yet during all this time the orphans had everything that was needful in the way of nourishing food, the necessary articles of clothing, etc. indeed, i should rather at once send the children back to their relations than keep them without sufficient maintenance. i desire that all the children of god who may read these details may thereby be led to increased and more simple confidence in god for everything which they may need under any circumstances, and that these many answers to prayer may encourage them to pray, particularly as it regards the conversion of their friends and relations, their own progress in grace and knowledge, the state of the saints whom they may know personally, the state of the church of christ at large, and the success of the preaching of the gospel. especially, i affectionately warn them against being led away by the device of satan, to think that these things are peculiar to me, and cannot be enjoyed by all the children of god; for though, as has been stated before, every believer is not called upon to establish orphan houses, charity schools, etc., and trust in the lord for means, yet all believers are called upon, in the simple confidence of faith, to cast all their burdens upon him, to trust in him for everything, and not only to make everything a subject of prayer, but to expect answers to their petitions which they have asked according to his will and in the name of the lord jesus. think not, dear reader, that i have _the gift of faith_, that is, that gift of which we read in cor. xii. , and which is mentioned along with "the gifts of healing," "the working of miracles," "prophecy," and that on that account i am able to trust in the lord. _it is true_ that the faith which i am enabled to exercise is altogether god's own gift; it is true that he alone supports it, and that he alone can increase it; it is true that moment by moment, i depend on him for it, and that if i were only one moment left to myself my faith would utterly fail; but _it is not true_ that my faith is that gift of faith which is spoken of in cor. xii. . it is the self-same faith which is found in _every believer_, and the growth of which i am most sensible of to myself; for by little and little it has been increasing for the last six and twenty years. this faith which is exercised respecting the orphan houses, and my own temporal necessities shows itself in the same measure, for instance, concerning the following points: i have never been permitted to doubt during the last twenty-seven years that my sins are forgiven, that i am a child of god, that i am beloved of god, and that i shall be finally saved; because i am enabled by the grace of god to exercise faith upon the word of god, and believe what god says in those passages which settle these matters ( john v. ; gal. iii. ; acts x. ; romans x. , ; john iii. , etc.). further, at the time when i thought i should be insane, though there was not the least ground for thinking so, i was in peace; because my soul believed the truth of that word, "we know that all things work together for good to them that love god." rom. viii. . further: when my brother in the flesh and my dear aged father died, and when concerning both of them i had no _evidence_ whatever that they were saved (though i dare not say that they are lost, for i know it not), yet my soul was at peace, perfectly at peace, under this great trial, this exceedingly great trial, this trial which is one of the greatest perhaps which can befall a believer. and what was it that gave me peace? my soul laid hold on that word, "shall not the judge of all the earth do right?" this word, together with the whole character of god, as he has revealed himself in his holy word, settled all questionings. i believed what he has said concerning himself, and i was at peace, and have been at peace ever since, concerning this matter. further: when the lord took from me a beloved infant, my soul was at peace, perfectly at peace; i could only weep tears of joy when i did weep. and why? because my soul laid hold in faith on that word, "of such is the kingdom of heaven." matthew xix. . further: when sometimes all has been dark, exceedingly dark, with reference to my service among the saints, judging from natural appearances; yea, when i should have been overwhelmed indeed in grief and despair had i looked at things after the outward appearance: at such times i have sought to encourage myself in god, by laying hold in faith on his almighty power, his unchangeable love, and his infinite wisdom, and i have said to myself, god is able and willing to deliver me, if it be good for me; for it is written, "he that spared not his own son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" rom. viii. . this it was which, being believed by me through grace, kept my soul in peace. further: when in connection with the orphan houses, day schools, etc., trials have come upon me which were far heavier than the want of means, when lying reports were spread that the orphans had not enough to eat, or that they were cruelly treated in other respects, and the like; or when other trials, still greater, but which i cannot mention, have befallen me in connection with this work, and that at a time when i was nearly a thousand miles absent from bristol, and had to remain absent week after week; at such times my soul was stayed upon god; i believed his word of promise which was applicable to such cases; i poured out my soul before god, and arose from my knees in peace, because the trouble that was in the soul was in believing prayer cast upon god, and thus i was kept in peace, though i saw it to be the will of god to remain far away from the work. further: when i needed houses, fellow-laborers, masters and mistresses for the orphans or for the day schools, i have been enabled to look for all to the lord, and trust in him for help. dear reader, i may seem to boast; but, by the grace of god, i do not boast in thus speaking. from my inmost soul i do ascribe it to god alone that he has enabled me to trust in him, and that hitherto he has not suffered my confidence in him to fail. but i thought it needful to make these remarks, lest any one should think that my depending upon god was a particular gift given to me which other saints have no right to look for; or lest it should be thought that this my depending upon him had _only to do with the obtaining of_ money _by prayer and faith_. by the grace of god i desire that my faith in god should extend towards everything, the smallest of my own temporal and spiritual concerns, and the smallest of the temporal and spiritual concerns of my family, towards the saints among whom i labor, the church at large, everything that has to do with the temporal and spiritual prosperity of the scriptural knowledge institution, etc. dear reader, do not think that i have attained in faith (and how much less in other respects!) to that degree to which i might and ought to attain; but thank god for the faith which he has given me, and ask him to uphold and increase it. and lastly, once more, let not satan deceive you in making you think that _you_ could not have the same faith, but that it is only for persons who are situated as i am. when i lose such a thing as a key, i ask the lord to direct me to it, and i look for an answer to my prayer; when a person with whom i have made an appointment does not come, according to the fixed time, and i begin to be inconvenienced by it, i ask the lord to be pleased to hasten him to me, and i look for an answer; when i do not understand a passage of the word of god, i lift up my heart to the lord, that he would be pleased, by his holy spirit, to instruct me, and i expect to be taught, though i do not fix the time when, and the manner how it should be; when i am going to minister in the word, i seek help from the lord, and while i, in the consciousness of natural inability as well as utter unworthiness, begin this his service, i am not cast down, but of good cheer, because i look for his assistance, and believe that he, for his dear son's sake, will help me. and thus in other of my temporal and spiritual concerns i pray to the lord, and expect an answer to my requests; and may not _you_ do the same, dear believing reader? oh! i beseech you, do not think me an extraordinary believer, having privileges above other of god's dear children, which they cannot have; nor look on my way of acting as something that would not do for other believers. make but trial! do but stand still in the hour of trial, and you will see the help of god, if you trust in him. but there is so often a forsaking the ways of the lord in the hour of trial, and thus the _food for faith_, the means whereby our faith may be increased, is lost. this leads me to the following important point. you ask, how may i, a true believer, have my faith strengthened? the answer is this:-- i. "every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." james i. . as the increase of faith is a good gift, it must come from god, and therefore he ought to be asked for this blessing. ii. the following means, however, ought to be used: . _the careful reading of the word of god, combined with meditation on it._ through reading of the word of god, and especially through meditation on the word of god, the believer becomes more and more acquainted with the nature and character of god, and thus sees more and more, besides his holiness and justice, what a kind, loving, gracious, merciful, mighty, wise, and faithful being he is, and, therefore, in poverty, affliction of body, bereavement in his family, difficulty in his service, want of a situation or employment, he will repose upon the _ability_ of god to help him, because he has not only learned from his word that he is of almighty power and infinite wisdom, but he has also seen instance upon instance in the holy scriptures in which his almighty power and infinite wisdom have been actually exercised in helping and delivering his people; and he will repose upon the _willingness_ of god to help him, because he has not only learned from the scriptures what a kind, good, merciful, gracious, and faithful being god is, but because he has also seen in the word of god, how in a great variety of instances he has proved himself to be so. and the consideration of this, if _god has become known to us through prayer and meditation on his own word_, will lead us, in general at least, with a measure of confidence to rely upon him: and thus the reading of the word of god, together with meditation on it, will be one especial means to strengthen our faith. . as, with reference to the growth of every grace of the spirit, it is of the utmost importance that we seek to maintain an upright heart and a good conscience, and, therefore, do not knowingly and habitually indulge in those things which are contrary to the mind of god, so it is also particularly the case with reference to the _growth in faith_. how can i possibly continue to act faith upon god, concerning anything, if i am habitually grieving him, and seek to detract from the glory and honor of him in whom i profess to trust, upon whom i profess to depend? all my confidence towards god, all my leaning upon him in the hour of trial, will be gone, if i have a guilty conscience, and do not seek to put away this guilty conscience, but still continue to do things which are contrary to the mind of god. and if, in any particular instance, i cannot trust in god, because of the guilty conscience, then my faith is weakened by that instance of distrust; for faith with every fresh trial of it either increases by trusting god, and thus getting help, or it decreases by not trusting him; and then there is less and less power of looking simply and directly to him, and a habit of self-dependence is begotten or encouraged. one or other of these will always be the case in each particular instance. either we trust in god, and in that case we neither trust in ourselves, nor in our fellow-men, nor in circumstances, nor in anything besides; or we do trust in one or more of these, and in that case do not trust in god. . if we, indeed, desire our faith to be strengthened, we should not shrink from opportunities where our faith may be tried, and, therefore, through the trial, be strengthened. in our natural state we dislike dealing with god alone. through our natural alienation from god we shrink from him, and from eternal realities. this cleaves to us more or less, even after our regeneration. hence it is that, more or less, even as believers, we have the same shrinking from standing with god alone, from depending upon him alone, from looking to him alone; and yet this is the very position in which we ought to be, if we wish our faith to be strengthened. the more i am in a position to be tried in faith with reference to my body, my family, my service for the lord, my business, etc., the more shall i have opportunity of seeing god's help and deliverance; and every fresh instance in which he helps and delivers me will tend towards the increase of my faith. on this account, therefore, the believer should not shrink from situations, positions, circumstances, in which his faith may be tried, but should cheerfully embrace them as opportunities where he may see the hand of god stretched out on his behalf, to help and deliver him, and whereby he may thus have his faith strengthened. . the last important point for the strengthening of our faith is, that we let god work for us, when the hour of the trial of our faith comes, and do not work a deliverance of our own. wherever god has given faith, it is given, among other reasons, for the very purpose of being tried. yea, however weak our faith may be, god will try it; only with this restriction, that as, in every way, he leads us on gently, gradually, patiently, so also with reference to the trial of our faith. at first, our faith will be tried very little in comparison with what it may be afterwards; for god never lays more upon us than he is willing to enable us to bear. now, when the trial of faith comes, we are naturally inclined to distrust god, and to trust rather in ourselves, or in our friends, or in circumstances. we will rather work a deliverance of our own, somehow or other, than simply look to god and wait for his help. but if we do not patiently wait for god's help, if we work a deliverance of our own, then at the next trial of our faith it will be thus again, we shall be again inclined to deliver ourselves; and thus, with every fresh instance of that kind, our faith will decrease; whilst, on the contrary, were we to stand still in order to see the salvation of god, to see his hand stretched out on our behalf, trusting in him alone, then our faith would be increased, and with every fresh case in which the hand of god is stretched out on our behalf in the hour of the trial of our faith, our faith would be increased yet more. would the believer, therefore, have his faith strengthened, he must, especially, _give time to god_, who tries his faith in order to prove to his child, in the end, how willing he is to help and deliver him, the moment it is good for him. i now return, dear reader, to the narrative, giving you some further information with reference to the seventeen months from dec. , , to may , , as it respects the orphan houses, and other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, besides the facts of which mention has been already made. during this period, also, . two sunday schools were entirely supported by the funds of the institution. . there were two adult schools, one for females, and one for males, entirely supported during these seventeen months, in which on two evenings of the week the males, and on two evenings the females, were instructed, quite gratuitously, in reading and writing, and were furnished with books and writing materials gratuitously. there were, during these seventeen months, adults taught in these two schools, and on may , , the number under instruction amounted to . . there were, during these seventeen months, also six day schools entirely supported by the funds of the institution, three for boys and three for girls. on may , , the number of the children who attended these day schools was ; and the total number who, from the formation of the institution, march , , up to may , , had been instructed in the day schools, which are supported by the funds of the institution, amounts to , . . during these seventeen months, copies of the holy scriptures were circulated, and from the commencement of the institution, up to may , , , copies. . during these seventeen months was spent for missionary purposes the sum of £ , s. d. of the funds of the institution, whereby assistance was rendered to the work of god in jamaica, in australia, in canada, and in the east indies. . at the commencement of these seventeen months, _i. e._ on dec. , , a new object was begun, the circulation of such publications as may be beneficial, with the blessing of god, to both unbelievers and believers. we laid out for this object during these seventeen months the sum of £ , s. d., for which , such little publications were purchased, and of which number , were actually given away. . there were received into the three orphan houses orphans, who, together with those who were in the houses on dec. , , make up in all. of these, five girls were sent out to service, two boys and one girl were apprenticed, one girl was removed by a lady who had placed her for a time under our care, and one was sent back to his relations, as he was injurious to the other children. there were on may , , orphans in the three houses, _i. e._ in the girls' orphan house, in the infant orphan house, and in the boys' orphan house. besides this, three apprentices were supported by the funds of the institution; so that the total number was . the number of orphans who were under our care from april, , to may , , amounts to . i notice further, in connection with the orphan houses, that, _without any one having been asked for anything by me_, the sum of £ , , s. d. was given to me from the beginning of the work up to may , , _as the result of prayer to god_. the total of the expenditure for the various objects of the institution, exclusive of the orphan houses, during these seventeen months, amounted to £ , s. d.; the total of the income amounted to £ , s. ½d. the total of the expenditure for the three orphan houses, from dec. , , to may , , amounted to £ , , s. ¾d.; the total of the income amounted to £ , , s. d. chapter xv. prosperity. - . abundant supplies--resting on the written word--"seeking and finding"--erroneous impressions removed--persevering and prevailing prayer answered--"lengthening the cords and strengthening the stakes"--a fourth orphan house. june , . for several days past i had not been particularly led to pray for means for the orphans. last evening, however, i did so, as we had now again no money in hand, there having come in only ten pounds two shillings twopence during the last five days; and in answer to my request two pounds nineteen shillings sixpence came in this morning. for several months succeeding the last date, means continued to flow in, without interruption, as they were needed. there was no excess of means, nor was there any lack. on dec. , , mr. müller writes:-- nothing had come in, except five shillings for needlework. the laborers had nothing to give, except one of them one shilling sixpence; yet this little supplied the absolute need, which was only milk. we were unable to take in the usual quantity of bread. should it be said that the not taking in the usual quantity of bread would at once prove to the bakers that we are poor, my reply is, that that does not follow, because bread has often been sent as a present, as may be seen in the list of articles, given for the orphans, at the end of the printed reports. but perhaps it may be asked, why do you not take the bread on credit? what does it matter whether you pay immediately for it, or at the end of the month, or the quarter, or the half year? seeing that the orphan houses are the work of the lord, may you not trust in him that he will supply you with means to pay the bills which you contract with the butcher, baker, grocer, etc. as the things which you purchase are needful? my reply is this: . if the work in which we are engaged is indeed the work of god, then he whose work it is is surely able and willing to provide the means for it. . but not only so, he will also provide the means _at the time when they are needed_. i do not mean that he will provide them when _we think_ that they are needed; but yet that when there is real need, such as the necessaries of life being required, he will give them; and on the same ground on which we suppose we do trust in god to help us to pay the debt which we now contract, we may and ought to trust in the lord to supply us with what we require at present, so that there may be no need for going into debt. . it is true, i might have goods on credit, and to a very considerable amount; but, then, the result would be, that the next time we were again in straits, the mind would involuntarily be turned to further credit which i might have, instead of being turned to the lord, and thus faith, which is kept up and strengthened only by being exercised, would become weaker and weaker, till at last, according to all human probability, i should find myself deeply in debt and have no prospect of getting out of it. . faith has to do with the word of god,--rests upon the written word of god; but there is no promise that he will pay our debts. the word says rather, "owe no man anything;" whilst there is the promise given to his children, "i will never leave thee nor forsake thee," and, "whosoever believeth on him shall not be confounded." on this account we could not say, _upon the ground of the holy scriptures_, why do you not trust in god that he will supply you with means to pay your debts which you contract in his service for the necessities of the orphans? . the last reason why we do not take goods on credit is this: the chief and primary object of the work was not the temporal welfare of the children, nor even their spiritual welfare, blessed and glorious as it is, and much as, through grace, we seek after it and pray for it; but the first and primary object of the work was, _to show before the whole world and the whole church of christ, that even in these last evil days the living god is ready to prove himself as the living god, by being ever willing to help, succor, comfort, and answer the prayers of those who trust in him_: so that we need not go away from him to our fellow-men, or to the ways of the world, seeing that he is both able and willing to supply us with all we can need in his service. from the beginning, when god put this service into my heart, i had anticipated trials and straits; but knowing, as i did, the heart of god, through the experience of several years previously, i also knew that he would listen to the prayers of his child who trusts in him, and that he would not leave him in the hour of need, but listen to his prayers, and deliver him out of the difficulty, and that then, this being made known in print for the benefit of both believers and unbelievers, others would be led to trust in the lord. we discern, therefore, more and more clearly that it is for the church's benefit that we are put into these straits, and if therefore in the hour of need we were to take goods on credit, the first and primary object of the work would be completely frustrated, and no heart would be further strengthened to trust in god; nor would there be any longer that manifestation of the special and particular providence of god which has hitherto been so abundantly shown through this work, even in the eyes of unbelievers, whereby they have been led to see _that there is after all reality in the things of god_, and many, through these printed accounts, have been truly converted. for these reasons, then, we consider it our precious privilege, as heretofore, to continue to wait upon the lord only, instead of taking goods on credit, or borrowing money from some kind friends, when we are in need. nay, we purpose, as god shall give us grace, to look to him only, though morning after morning we should have nothing in hand for the work, yea, though from meal to meal we should have to look to him; being fully assured that he who is now ( ) in the tenth year feeding these many orphans, and who has never suffered them to want, and that he who is now ( ) in the twelfth year carrying on the other parts of the work, without any branch of it being stopped for want of means, will do so for the future also. and here i do desire, in the deep consciousness of my natural helplessness and dependence upon the lord, to confess that through the grace of god my soul has been in peace, though day after day we have had to wait for our daily provisions upon the lord; yea, though even from meal to meal we have been required to do this. dec. . nothing has come in. three shillings fivepence, which one of the laborers was able to give, was all we had. at six o'clock this evening, our need being now very great, not only with reference to the orphan houses, but also the day schools, etc., i gave myself, with two of the laborers, to prayer. there needed some money to come in before eight o'clock to-morrow morning, as there was none to take in milk for breakfast (the children have oatmeal porridge with milk for breakfast), to say nothing about the many other demands of to-morrow, being saturday. our hearts were at peace, while asking the lord, and assured that our father would supply our need. we had scarcely risen from our knees when i received a letter, containing a sovereign for the orphans, half of which was from a young east india officer, and the other half the produce of the sale of a piece of work which the sister who sent the money had made for the benefit of the orphans. she wrote, "i love to send these little gifts. they so often come in season." truly, thus it was at this time. about five minutes later i received from a brother the promise of fifty pounds for the orphans, to be given during the next week; and a quarter of an hour after that, about seven o'clock, a brother gave me a sovereign, which an irish sister in the lord had left this day, on her departure for dublin, for the benefit of the orphans. how sweet and precious to see thus so manifestly the willingness of the lord to answer the prayers of his needy children! dec. . our need with reference to the school fund had been great during the last three weeks, though we had received as much as the teachers absolutely required. now, however, it was very great, as one brother especially needed to have several pounds within a day or two, and three other teachers also required supplies. it had in addition to this been much in my heart to send some money to several brethren who labor in foreign lands, in dependence upon the lord only for their pecuniary supplies; but i had been kept from doing so for want of means. on these accounts, therefore, i gave myself again especially to prayer this morning, when, _within a quarter of an hour_ after i had risen from my knees, i received the order for one hundred pounds, which i was at liberty to use as need required. review of the year, . . as to the church. there are at present in communion; have been added during the past year, of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the lord among us. . as to the supply of my temporal necessities, the lord has been pleased to send me £ , s. feb. , . we had one pound fourteen shillings towards the expenses of this day. but as this was not enough, i asked the lord still further for help, and, behold, this morning's post brought me a post-office order for two pounds from stafford, of which one pound seven shillings sixpence is for the orphans. thus we have three pounds one shilling sixpence, which is quite enough for this day. admire with me, my dear reader, if you know the lord, his seasonable help. why does this post-office order not come a few days sooner or later? because the lord would help us by means of it, and therefore influences the donor just then, and not sooner nor later, to send it. surely, all who know the lord, and who have no interest in disowning it, cannot but see his hand in a remarkable manner in this work. nor will the godly and simple-minded reader say, "there is no difference between this way of proceeding, on the one hand, and going from individual to individual, asking them for means, on the other hand; for the writing of the reports is just the same thing." my dear reader, there is a great difference. suppose that we are in need. suppose that our poverty lasts for some weeks, or even some months, together. is there not, in that case, a difference between asking the lord only from day to day, without speaking to any human being not connected directly with the work about our poverty, on the one hand, and writing letters or making personal application to benevolent individuals for assistance, on the other hand? truly, there is a great difference between these two modes. i do not mean to say that it would be acting against the precepts of the lord to seek for help in his work by personal and individual application to _believers_ (though it would be in direct opposition to his will to apply to _unbelievers_, cor. vi. - ); but _i_ act in the way in which i do for the benefit of the church at large, cheerfully bearing the trials, and sometimes the deep trials, connected with this life of faith (which however brings along with it also its precious joys), if by any means a part at least of my fellow-believers might be led to see the reality of dealing with god only, and that there is such a thing as the child of god having power with god by prayer and faith. that the lord should use for so glorious a service one so vile, so unfaithful, so altogether unworthy of the least notice as i am, i can only ascribe to the riches of his condescending _grace_, in which he takes up the most unlikely instruments, that the honor may be _manifestly_ his. should satan seek to whisper into your ears, perhaps the matter is made known, after all, when there is need (as it has been once said about me at a public meeting in a large town, that when we were in want i prayed _publicly_ that the lord would send help for the orphans, which is entirely false); i say, should it be said that i took care that our wants were made known, i reply: whom did i ask for anything these many years since the work has been going on? to whom did i make known our wants, except to those who are closely connected with the work? nay, so far from wishing to make known our need, for the purpose of influencing benevolent persons to contribute to the necessities of the institution under my care, i have even refused to let our circumstances be known, after having been asked about them, when, on simply saying that we were in need, i might have had considerable sums. some instances of this have been given in the former part of this narrative. in such cases i refused in order that the hand of god only might be manifest; for that, and not the money, nor even the ability of continuing to carry on the work, is my especial aim. and such self-possession has the lord given me, that in the times of the deepest poverty, whilst there was nothing at all in hand, and whilst we had even from meal to meal to wait upon the lord for the necessities of more than one hundred persons, when a donation of five pounds or ten pounds, or more, has been given to me, the donors could not have read in my countenance whether we had much or nothing at all in hand. but enough of this. i have made these few remarks, beloved reader, lest by any means you should lose the blessing which might come to your soul through reading the account of the lord's faithfulness and readiness to hear the prayers of his children. march . on oct. , , i had a long conversation with a sister in the lord, who opened her heart to me. on leaving me i told her that my house and my purse were hers, and that i should be glad if she would have one purse with me. this i said because i judged that at some future time it might prove a comfort to her in an hour of trial, having at the same time, to judge from a circumstance which had occurred two days before, every reason to believe that she had not five pounds of her own. this sister, after i had said so, readily took me at my word, and said, i shall be glad of it, adding presently that she had five hundred pounds. the moment i heard that, i drew back, and said that had i known that she had any money i should not have made her this offer, and then gave her my reason why i had supposed she had no property at all. she then assured me that she possessed five hundred pounds, and that she had never seen it right to give up this money, else she would have done so; but that, as god had put this sum into her hands without her seeking, she thought it was a provision which the lord had made for her. i replied scarcely anything to this; but she asked me to pray for her with reference to this matter. this whole conversation about the money occupied but very few minutes, and it all took place after the sister had risen and was on the point of leaving me. after she was gone, i asked the lord if he would be pleased to make this dear sister so happy in himself; and enable her so to realize her true riches and inheritance in the lord jesus, and the reality of her heavenly calling, that she might be constrained by the love of christ cheerfully to lay down this five hundred pounds at his feet. from that time i repeated this my request before the lord _daily_, and often two, three, or four times a day; _but not a single word or line passed between me and this sister on the subject, nor did i even see her_; for i judged that it would be far better that she retained this money, than that by persuasion she should give it up, and afterwards perhaps regret the step she had taken, and thereby more dishonor than honor be brought on the name of the lord. after i had thus for twenty-four days daily besought the lord on behalf of this sister, i found her one day, on returning home, at my house; when she told me that she wished to see me alone. she then said to me that from the time she had last conversed with me she had sought to ascertain the lord's will with reference to the five hundred pounds, and had examined the scriptures and prayed about it, and that she was now assured that it was the will of the lord she should give up this money. after she had told me this, i exhorted her to count well the cost, and to do nothing rashly, lest she should regret the step she had taken, and to wait at least a fortnight longer before she carried out her intention. thus we separated. on the eighteenth day after this conversation i received the following letter:-- dear brother: i believe the lord has not permitted you to grow weary of remembering me, but that he has still enabled you to bear me upon your heart in his presence. all is well with me, dear brother. your petitions have been heard and answered; i am happy and at peace. the lord has indeed manifested his tender care of and his great love towards me in jesus, in inclining my heart cheerfully to lay _all_ i have hitherto called my own at his feet. it is a high privilege. i write in haste to ask you, as we have _now_ one purse, to receive the money at a bank in bristol. i will direct it to be sent in my name, to be delivered into your hands, etc. as this whole circumstance is related only for the profit of the reader, and as i knew that the sister still had my letters on the subject in her possession, i wrote to her, requesting her to send them to me, at the time when i published the last account about the orphan houses, etc., and extracts of them were given in the last report, in so far as they might refer to the subject or tend to edification. these extracts are here reprinted. my reply to the above was this:-- bristol, dec. , . my dear sister: your letter found me in peace, and did not in the least surprise me. dealing with god is a reality. saints have power with him through jesus. it is now forty-two days since you first mentioned this matter to me. i cannot but admire the wisdom of god and his love to you in allowing me to speak to you as i did [_i. e._ offering her to have one purse with me, when i thought she had no earthly possessions at all], that thus this great privilege might be bestowed on you to give up this little sum for him. since that hour i have daily prayed for you, and often thrice or more in the course of the day, that the lord would make you so happy in himself, and help you with such faith to lay hold on all which he has given you in jesus, that you might be constrained by love cheerfully to lay down this little sum at his feet. thus i prayed again at six o'clock this morning for you. nor have i had the least doubt from the commencement that the lord did hear my prayer; yea, so fully have i been assured that i had the petition, that again and again i have thanked him that he had answered my prayer, before i saw you eighteen days since, and before your letter came this morning. moreover, i have been fully assured, since you were last here, that he was carrying on his work in your soul with reference to this matter, and that no subtle suggestions of satan, nor educational prejudices, nor misinterpretations of the scriptures, were able to prevail; for i had asked the lord by his spirit to overcome them in you, and that, if a brother's word should be needed, he would be pleased to incline your heart to write to me; and as no letter came, i felt fully confident you were going forward in this matter in peace. when i had seen you this day six weeks, and learned about this little sum, _i determined never to say or write to you another word on the subject, but to leave you in the hands of the lord_. thus i purposed again during the last eighteen days; _for it was not the money given up_, that i cared for in you, _but the money given up unto the lord, and from right motives_. on this very account i advised you to wait one fortnight longer, though you had come to the conclusion; but now, having done so, and seeing that you are fully purposed in the lord to be poor in this world indeed, that the more abundantly you may enjoy his riches, his inexhaustible riches, i change my advice. my word now, beloved sister, is this: "whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might," and "if ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them." delay then no longer, even as also you have no desire to delay; and the lord will bless you abundantly in doing so, _inasmuch as you do it unto him_. as you desire to intrust me with this money, i do not refuse it, knowing many ways to lay it out for him, etc. [then only follows the direction how the money is to be paid into my banker's hands.] on dec. , , i received a reply to my letter, which answer was begun to be written on dec. th, but finished on the th. i give a few extracts of the letter:-- since i last saw you, dear brother, i have not had the slightest doubt as to what i ought to do. the word of god has been so clear to me on this head, that i have been kept resting on it, and, in answer to your prayers, no temptation has been allowed to _prevail_, indeed, i think i may add to _arise_. but i feel that temptations _may_ come, and that i may in seasons of trial not always have faith to be able to rejoice in this privilege. my heart is so deceitful, and my faith so weak, that i shall greatly need your prayers still. will you, then, if the lord enables you, pray that i may never offend my father by regretting in the _least_ measure this act of obedience, which he has by his grace inclined me to carry out? _before i ever saw you_ i had asked the lord to make me willing to give this little sum into your hands, if it were his will i should; but his time to make me willing had not then come; even then i had in a measure given it to you, having written a paper, desiring in case i should fall asleep in jesus, that you might get possession of it. i had it signed by two witnesses, and i always carried it about with me when i travelled, sealed, and directed to you. when i wrote this, i little thought what grace the lord had in store for me. you will forgive my being thus tedious, but i am sure you will praise the lord with me for his gracious dealings with me, etc. at the end of this letter, which was finished on dec. , the sister tells me that unexpectedly a hindrance had arisen to her having possession of the money, so that it was not likely it could be paid over to me till about the end of january, . when this letter came, it would have been _naturally_ a great disappointment to me, as the sister had told me in a previous letter that the money should be paid into my hands, and as just at that time in a variety of ways it was desirable that i should have considerable sums. the lord, however, enabled me to immediately lay hold on that word, "we know that all things work together for good to them that love god," rom. viii. , and my soul was in peace, though we had only enough money in hand to provide for one or at the most for two days the necessary provisions in the orphan houses. it was but the next day, dec. , , when i received one hundred pounds from a. b., and on dec. , i received fifty pounds from a brother in bristol, besides other donations; so that within one week after i had had grace to delight myself in the will of god, he gave me about two hundred pounds, whereby i was able to meet all the heavy expenses of replenishing the stores, etc., on account of which i should _naturally_ have been tried in the payment of the money being delayed. in reply to the letter which i received from this sister on dec. , i wrote another on dec. , , of which i give an extract on this subject:-- i have continued to pray for you, or rather the lord has enabled me every day once, twice, thrice, or even more, to remember you. the burden of my prayer still has been, that he would be pleased to make you very happy in himself, and enable you to enter into the inheritance which awaits you; further, that you may not be permitted in the least to regret the step which you have taken, but rather consider it a privilege to be permitted to give this little sum back to him who gave it to you, and who gave himself for you. with reference to the delay, i cannot but rejoice. this gives you abundant opportunity to ponder the matter, and afterwards to state to any (who, judging as those who know not how rich the saints are, might blame you) that you did not do the thing in haste. i consider this delay to be for the furtherance of the honor of the lord. you know my advice to you, to wait at least a fortnight. that you have seen much of your unfaithfulness, etc., i consider to be an especial blessing which the lord has bestowed upon you, lest this step you have taken should become a snare to you. humblings last our whole life. jesus came not to save _painted_ but _real_ sinners; but he _has_ saved us, and will surely make it manifest. i have a passage laid on my heart for you; read the whole of it carefully: cor. viii. - , especially verse . * * * * * day after day now passed away and the money did not come. the month of january was come to an end, and february also, and the money had not come. thus more than one hundred and twenty days were gone by, whilst day by day i brought my petition before the lord that he would bless this sister, keep her steadfast in her purpose, and intrust me with this money for his work in my hands. amidst it all my heart was assured, judging from the earnestness which he had given me in prayer, and that i had only desired this matter to the praise of his name, that in his own time he would bring it about. _but i never wrote one single line to this sister on the subject all this time._ at last, on the one hundred and thirty-fourth day since i had _daily_ besought the lord about this matter, on march , , i received a letter from the sister, informing me that the five hundred pounds had been paid into the hands of my bankers. and now i only give a few lines of a letter which i received on july , , from the sister who gave this donation, together with my letters for which i had asked her, in order that i may show her state of mind on the subject, after she had had it more than twenty months before her, and after she had for sixteen months actually given up the money. she writes thus: "i am thankful to say that i have never for one moment had the slightest feeling of regret, but it is _wholly_ of the lord's abounding grace. i speak it to his praise." on march , , i called at the orphan houses to make certain arrangements, and one of the sisters told me by the way that she had been asked by miss g., who with her father occupied the house no. wilson street, to let me know that they wished to give up their house, if i would like to take it; but she had replied that it was of no use to tell me about it, for she was sure that i had no thought of opening another orphan house. when i came home, this matter greatly occupied my mind. i could not but ask the lord again and again whether he would have me to open another orphan house, and whether the time was now come that i should serve him still more extensively in this way. the more i pondered the matter, the more it appeared to me that this was the hand of god moving me onwards in this service. the following remarkable combination of circumstances struck me in particular: . there are more applications made for the admission of orphans, especially of late, than we are at all able to meet, though we fill the houses as much as the health of the children and of the laborers will possibly admit. . if i did take another house for orphans, it would be most desirable it should be in the same street where the other three are, as thus the labor is less, and in times of great need we are near together for prayer, the distribution of the money, etc. but since the third orphan house was opened, in nov. , there never has been one of the larger houses in the street to be let. . there are about fifteen children in the infant orphan house, whom it would have been well some time ago to have removed to the house for the older girls, had there been room; but when a vacancy happened to occur in that house, there were generally several waiting to fill it up, so that unintentionally the female children in the infant orphan house remained where they were; but this is not well, nor is it according to my original intention; for the infants were intended only to be left till they are seven years old, and then to be removed to the houses for older boys and girls. this my original plan could be executed better for the future, and at once for the present, were i to open another orphan house. . i know two sisters who seem suitable laborers for this fourth orphan house, and who have a desire thus to be engaged. . there are three hundred pounds remaining of the five hundred pounds which i so lately received. this money may be used for the furnishing and fitting up of a new orphan house. so much money i have never had in hand at any one time during the last five years. this seemed to me a remarkable thing, in connection with the four other reasons. . the establishing of a fourth orphan house, which would increase our expenses several hundred pounds a year, would be, after we have gone for five years almost uninterruptedly through trials of faith, a plain proof that i have not regretted this service, and that i am not tired of this precious way of depending upon the lord from day to day; and thus the faith of other children of god might be strengthened. but most important, yea, decidedly conclusive as these points were, yet they did not convince me that i ought to go forward in this service, if the spirit's leadings were not in connection with them. i therefore gave myself to prayer. i prayed day after day, _without saying anything to any human being_. i prayed two and twenty days without even mentioning it to my dear wife. on that very day, when i did mention it to her, and on which i had come to the conclusion, after three weeks' prayer and consideration in the fear of god, to establish another orphan house, i received from a. b. fifty pounds. what a striking confirmation that the lord will help, though the necessities should increase more and more. at last, on the twenty-fourth day, having been now for several days fully assured that god would have me go forward in this service, i went to inquire whether mr. and miss g. still wished to give up the house. but here i found an apparent hindrance. having heard no wish expressed on my part to take the house, and the sister in the orphan houses, with whom miss g. had communicated, not having given her the least reason to think that i should do so, mr. and miss g. had altered their plans, and now purposed to remain in the house. however, i was to call again in a week, when i should receive an answer. i was not in the least discomforted by this obstacle. "lord, if _thou_ hast no need of another orphan house, _i_ have none," was the burden of my prayer. i was willing to do god's will, yea, to delight myself in his will. and just on this very ground, because i knew i sought not my own honor, but the lord's; because i knew i was not serving myself, but the lord, in this thing; and because i knew that with so much calm, quiet, prayerful, self-questioning consideration i had gone about this business, and had only after many days, during which i had been thus waiting upon the lord, come to the conclusion that it was the will of god i should go forward in this service. for these reasons i felt sure, notwithstanding what mr. and miss g. had told me, that i should have the house. i also especially judged that thus it would be, _because i was quite in peace_ when i heard of the obstacle; a plain proof that i was not in self-will going on in this matter, but according to the leading of the holy ghost; for if according to my natural mind i had sought to enlarge the work, i should have been excited and uncomfortable when i met with this obstacle. after a week i called again on mr. g. and now see how god had wrought! on the same day on which i had seen mr. g., he went out and met with a suitable house, so that when i came the second time, he was willing to let me have the one which he then occupied in wilson street; and as the owner accepted me as a tenant, all the difficulties were removed, so that after the st of june we began fitting up the house, and in july the first orphans were received. mr. m. having been invited by several christians in germany to visit that, his native land, and to labor there for the promulgation of scriptural truth and the advancement of religion, as well as to publish a german translation of his narrative, felt that it was his duty to accede to the request. in answer to prayer, he received ample means for his journey, for the support of the orphans during his absence, and for the publication of the narrative. he left bristol on the th of august, , and returned on march , . during the journey he was greatly aided by providence in the purposes of his mission, and saw much fruit of his labors. chapter xvi. stewardship. . earthly and heavenly treasures--seeking the kingdom of god--fellowship with the father--the christian merchant--examples--mistakes. in concluding this portion of my narrative, i would add some hints on a few passages of the word of god, both because i have so very frequently found them little regarded by christians, and also because i have proved their preciousness, in some measure, in my own experience; and therefore wish that all my fellow-saints may share the blessing with me. i. in matt. vi. - , it is written: "lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." observe, dear reader, the following points concerning this part of the divine testimony: . it is the lord jesus, our lord and master, who speaks this as the lawgiver of his people,--he who has infinite wisdom and unfathomable love to us, who therefore both knows what is for our real welfare and happiness, and who cannot exact from us any requirement inconsistent with that love which led him to lay down his life for us. . his counsel, his affectionate entreaty, and his commandment to us his disciples is, "lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth." the meaning obviously is, that the disciples of the lord jesus, being strangers and pilgrims on earth, _i. e._ neither belonging to the earth nor expecting to remain in it, _should not seek to increase their earthly possessions_, in whatever these possessions may consist. this is a word for poor believers as well as for rich believers; it has as much a reference to putting shillings into the savings bank as to putting thousands of pounds into the funds, or purchasing one house or one farm after another. it may be said, but does not every prudent and provident person seek to increase his means, that he may have a goodly portion to leave to his children, or to have something for old age, or for the time of sickness, etc.? my reply is, it is quite true that this is the custom of the world. but whilst thus it is in the world, and we have every reason to believe ever will be so among those that are of the world, and who therefore have their portion on earth, we disciples of the lord jesus, being born again, being the children of god, not nominally, but really, being truly partakers of the divine nature, being in fellowship with the father and the son, and having in prospect "an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away," ( peter i. ,) ought in every respect to act differently from the world, and so in this particular also. if we disciples of the lord jesus seek, like the people of the world, after an increase of our possessions, may not those who are of the world justly question whether we believe what we say, when we speak about our inheritance, our heavenly calling, our being the children of god, etc.? often it must be a sad stumbling-block to the unbeliever to see a professed believer in the lord jesus acting in this particular just like himself. consider this, dear brethren in the lord, should this remark apply to you. . our lord says about the earth that it is a place "where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal." all that is of the earth, and in any way connected with it, is subject to corruption, to change, to dissolution. there is no reality, or substance, in anything else but in heavenly things. often the careful amassing of earthly possessions ends in losing them in a moment by fire, by robbery, by a change of mercantile concerns, by loss of work, etc.; but suppose all this were not the case, still, yet a little while, and thy soul shall be required of thee; or, yet a little while, and the lord jesus will return; and what profit shalt thou then have, dear reader, if thou hast carefully sought to increase thy earthly possessions? . our lord, however, does not merely bid us not to lay up treasure upon earth; for if he had said no more, this his commandment might be abused, and persons might find in it an encouragement for their extravagant habits, for their love of pleasure, for their habit of spending everything they have, or can obtain, _upon themselves_. it does not mean, then, as is the common phrase, that we should "live up to our income;" for he adds, "but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven." there is such a thing as laying up as truly in heaven as there is laying up on earth; if it were not so, our lord would not have said so. just as persons put one sum after another into the bank, and it is put down to their credit, and they may use the money afterwards: so truly the penny, the shilling, the pound, the hundred pounds, the ten thousand pounds, _given for the lord's sake, and constrained by the love of jesus_, to poor brethren, or in any way spent in the work of god, he marks down in the book of remembrance, he considers as laid up in heaven. _the money is not lost, it is laid up in the bank of heaven_; yet so, that whilst an earthly bank may break, or through earthly circumstances we may lose our earthly possessions, the money which is thus secured in heaven _cannot be lost_. but this is by no means the only difference. i notice a few more points: treasures laid up on earth bring along with them many cares; treasures laid up in heaven never give care. treasures laid up on earth never can afford spiritual joy; treasures laid up in heaven bring along with them peace and joy in the holy ghost even now. treasures laid up on earth, in a dying hour cannot afford peace and comfort, and when life is over they are taken from us; treasures laid up in heaven draw forth thanksgiving that we were permitted and counted worthy to serve the lord with the means with which he was pleased to intrust us as stewards, and when this life is over we are not deprived of what was laid up there, but when we go to heaven we go to the place where our treasures are, and we shall find them there. often we hear it said, when a person has died, he died worth so much. but whatever be the phrases common in the world, it is certain that a person may die worth fifty thousand pounds sterling, as the world reckons, and yet that individual may not possess, in the sight of god, one thousand pounds sterling, because _he was not rich towards god_, he did not lay up treasure in heaven. and so, on the other hand, we can suppose a man of god falling asleep in jesus, and his surviving widow finding scarcely enough left behind him to suffice for the funeral, who was nevertheless _rich towards god_: in the sight of god he may possess five thousand pounds sterling, he may have laid up that sum in heaven. dear reader, does your soul long to be rich towards god, to lay up treasures in heaven? the world passes away, and the lust thereof. yet a little while and our stewardship will be taken from us. at present we have the opportunity of serving the lord with our time, our talents, our bodily strength, our gifts; and also with our property; but shortly this opportunity may cease. oh, how shortly may it cease! before ever this is read by any one, i may have fallen asleep; and the very next day after you have read this, dear reader, you may fall asleep; and, therefore, whilst we have the opportunity, let us serve the lord. . the lord lastly adds: "for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." where should the heart of the disciple of the lord jesus be, but in heaven? our calling is a heavenly calling, our inheritance is a heavenly inheritance, and reserved for us in heaven; our citizenship is in heaven; but if we believers in the lord jesus lay up treasures on earth, the necessary result of it is, that our hearts will be upon earth; nay, the very fact of our doing so proves that they are there! nor will it be otherwise, till there be a ceasing to lay up treasures upon earth. the believer who lays up treasures upon earth may, at first, not live openly in sin, he in a measure may yet bring some honor to the lord in certain things; but the injurious tendencies of this habit will show themselves more and more, whilst the habit of laying up treasures in heaven would draw the heart more and more heavenward; would be continually strengthening his new, his divine nature, his spiritual faculties, because it would call his spiritual faculties into use, and thus they would be strengthened; and he would more and more, whilst yet in the body, have his heart in heaven, and set upon heavenly things; and thus the laying up treasures in heaven would bring along with it, even in this life, precious spiritual blessings as a reward of obedience to the commandment of our lord. ii. the next passage, on which i desire to make a few remarks, is matt. vi. : "but seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." after our lord, in the previous verses, had been pointing his disciples "to the fowls of the air," and "the lilies of the field," in order that they should be without carefulness about the necessaries of life, he adds: "therefore take no thought (literally, be not anxious), saying, what shall we eat? or, what shall we drink? or, wherewithal shall we be clothed? (for after all these things do the gentiles seek;) for your heavenly father knoweth that ye have need of all these things." observe here particularly that we, the children of god, should be different from the nations of the earth, from those who have no father in heaven, and who therefore make it their great business, their first anxious concern, what they shall eat, and what they shall drink, and wherewithal they shall be clothed. we, the children of god, should, as in every other respect, so in this particular also, be different from the world, and prove to the world that we believe that we have a father in heaven who knoweth that we have need of all these things. the fact that our almighty father, who is full of infinite love to us his children, and who has proved to us his love in the gift of his only-begotten son, and his almighty power in raising him from the dead, knows that we have need of these things, should remove all anxiety from our minds. there is, however, one thing that we have to attend to, and which we _ought_ to attend to, with reference to our temporal necessities; it is mentioned in our verse: "but seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness." the great business which the disciple of the lord jesus has to be concerned about (for this word was spoken to disciples, to professed believers) is, to seek the kingdom of god, _i. e._ to seek, as i view it, after the external and internal prosperity of the church of christ. if, according to our ability, and according to the opportunity which the lord gives us, we seek to win souls for the lord jesus, that appears to me to be seeking the _external prosperity_ of the kingdom of god; and if we, as members of the body of christ, seek to benefit our fellow-members in the body, helping them on in grace and truth, or caring for them in any way to their edification, that would be seeking the _internal prosperity_ of the kingdom of god. but in connection with this we have also "to seek his righteousness," which means (as it was spoken to disciples, to those who have a father in heaven, and not to those who were without), to seek to be more and more like god, to seek to be inwardly conformed to the mind of god. if these two things are attended to (and _they imply also that we are not slothful in business_), then do we come under that precious promise: "and all these things (that is, food, raiment, or anything else that is needful for this present life) shall be added unto you." it is not _for_ attending to these two things that we obtain the blessing, but _in_ attending to them. i now ask you, my dear reader, a few questions in all love, because i do seek your welfare, and i do not wish to put these questions to you without putting them first to my own heart. do you make it your primary business, your first great concern, to seek the kingdom of god and his righteousness? are the things of god, the honor of his name, the welfare of his church, the conversion of sinners, and the profit of your own soul, your chief aim? or does your business, or your family, or your own temporal concerns, in some shape or other _primarily_ occupy your attention? if the latter be the case, then, though you may have all the necessaries of life, yet could you be surprised if you had them not? remember that the world passeth away, but that the things of god endure forever. i never knew a child of god, who acted according to the above passage, in whose experience the lord did not fulfil his word of promise, "all these things shall be added unto you." iii. the third portion of the divine testimony on which i desire to throw out a few hints, is in john i. : "and truly our fellowship is with the father, and with his son jesus christ." observe, . the words "fellowship," "communion," "coparticipation," and "partnership," mean the same. . the believer in the lord jesus does not only obtain forgiveness of all his sins, as he does through the shedding of the blood of jesus, by faith in his name; does not only become a righteous one before god, through the righteousness of the lord jesus, by faith in his name; is not only begotten again, born of god, and partaker of the divine nature, and therefore a child of god and an heir of god; but he is also in fellowship or partnership with god. now, so far as it regards god, and our standing in the lord jesus, we have this blessing once for all; nor does it allow of either an increase or a decrease. just as god's love to us believers, his children, is unalterably the same, whatever may be the manifestations of that love; and as his peace with us is the same, however much our peace may be disturbed; so it is also with regard to our being in fellowship or partnership with him: it remains unalterably the same so far as god is concerned. but then, . there is an _experimental_ fellowship, or partnership, with the father and with his son, which consists in this: that all which we possess in god, as being the partners or fellows of god, is brought down into our daily life, is enjoyed, experienced, and used. this _experimental_ fellowship, or partnership, allows of an increase or a decrease, in the measure in which faith is in exercise, and in which we are entering into what we have received in the lord jesus. the measure in which we enjoy this _experimental_ fellowship with the father and with the son is without limit; for without limit we may make use of our partnership with the father and with the son, and draw by prayer and faith out of the inexhaustible fulness which there is in god. let us now take a few instances in order to see the practical working of this _experimental_ fellowship, or partnership, with the father and with the son. suppose there are two believing parents who were not brought to the knowledge of the truth until some years after the lord had given them several children. their children were brought up in sinful, evil ways, whilst the parents did not know the lord. now the parents reap as they sowed. they suffer from having set an evil example before their children, for their children are unruly and behave most improperly. what is now to be done? need such parents despair? no. the first thing they have to do is, to make confession of their sins to god, with regard to neglecting their children whilst they were themselves living in sin, and then to remember that they are in partnership with god, and therefore to be of good courage, though they are in themselves still utterly insufficient for the task of managing their children. they have in themselves neither the wisdom, nor the patience, nor the long-suffering, nor the gentleness, nor the meekness, nor the love, nor the decision and firmness, nor anything else that may be needful in dealing with their children aright. but their heavenly father has all this. the lord jesus possesses all this. and they are in partnership with the father, and with the son, and therefore they can obtain by prayer and faith all they need out of the fulness of god. i say by _prayer_ and _faith_, for we have to make known our need to god in prayer, ask his help, and then we have _to believe_ he will give us what we need. prayer alone is not enough. we may pray never so much, yet, if we do not believe that god will give us what we need, we have no reason to expect that we shall receive what we have asked for. so then these parents would need to ask god to give them the needful wisdom, patience, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, love, decision; and firmness, and whatever else they may judge they need. they may in humble boldness remind their heavenly father that his word assures them that they are in partnership with him, and, as they themselves are lacking in these particulars, ask him to be pleased to supply their need; and then they have _to believe_ that god will do it, and they shall receive according to their need. another instance: suppose i am so situated in my business that day by day such difficulties arise that i continually find that i take wrong steps by reason of these great difficulties. how may the case be altered for the better? in myself i see no remedy for the difficulties. in looking at myself i can expect nothing but to make still further mistakes, and, therefore, trial upon trial seems to be before me. and yet i need not despair. the living god is my partner. _i_ have not sufficient wisdom to meet these difficulties so as to be able to know what steps to take, but _he_ is able to direct me. what i have, therefore, to do, is this: in simplicity to spread my case before my heavenly father and my lord jesus. the father and the son are my partners. i have to tell out my heart to god, and to ask him, that, as he is my partner, and i have no wisdom in myself to meet all the many difficulties which continually occur in my business, he would be pleased to guide and direct me, and to supply me with the needful wisdom; and then i have _to believe_ that god will do so, and go with good courage to my business, and _expect_ help from him in the next difficulty that may come before me. _i have to look out_ for guidance; _i have to expect_ counsel from the lord; and as assuredly as i do so, i shall have it, i shall find that i am not nominally, but really, in partnership with the father and with the son. another instance: there is a father and mother with seven small children. both parents are believers. the father works in a manufactory, but cannot earn more than ten shillings per week. the mother cannot earn anything. these ten shillings are too little for the supply of nourishing and wholesome food for seven growing children and their parents, and for providing them with the other necessaries of life. what is to be done in such a case? surely not to find fault with the manufacturer, who may not be able to afford more wages, and much less to murmur against god; but the parents have in simplicity to tell god, their partner, that the wages of ten shillings a week are not sufficient in england to provide nine persons with all they need, so as that their health be not injured. they have to remind god that he is not a hard master, not an unkind being, but a most loving father, who has abundantly proved the love of his heart in the gift of his only begotten son. and they have in childlike simplicity to ask him that either he would order it so that the manufacturer may be able to allow more wages; or that he (the lord) would find them another place, where the father would be able to earn more; or that he would be pleased, somehow or other, as it may seem good to him, to supply them with more means. they have to ask the lord, in childlike simplicity, again and again for it, if he does not answer their request at once; and they have _to believe_ that god, their father and partner, will give them the desire of their hearts. they have _to expect_ an answer to their prayers; day by day they have _to look out_ for it, and to repeat their request till god grants it. as assuredly as they _believe_ that god will grant them their request, so assuredly it shall be granted. thus, suppose i desired more power over my besetting sins; suppose i desired more power against certain temptations; suppose i desired more wisdom, or grace, or anything else that i may need in my service among the saints, or in my service towards the unconverted: what have i to do but to make use of my being in fellowship with the father and with the son? just as, for instance, an old faithful clerk, who is this day taken into partnership by an immensely rich firm, though himself altogether without property, would not be discouraged by reason of a large payment having to be made by the firm within three days, though he himself has no money at all of his own, but would comfort himself with the immense riches possessed by those who so generously have just taken him into partnership: so should we, the children of god and servants of jesus christ, comfort ourselves by being in fellowship, or partnership, with the father, and with the son, though we have no power of our own against our besetting sins; though we cannot withstand temptations, which are before us, in our own strength; and though we have neither sufficient grace nor wisdom for our service among the saints, or towards the unconverted. all we have to do is, to draw upon our partner, the living god. by prayer and faith we may obtain all needful temporal and spiritual help and blessings. in all simplicity have we to tell out our heart before god, and then we have to believe that he will give to us according to our need. but _if we do not believe_ that god will help us, could we be at peace? the clerk, taken into the firm as partner, _believes_ that the firm will meet the payment, though so large, and though in three days it is to be made, and it is this that keeps his heart quiet, though altogether poor himself. we have to believe that our infinitely rich partner, the living god, will help us in our need, and we shall not only be in peace, but we shall actually find that the help which we need will be granted to us. let not the consciousness of your entire unworthiness keep you, dear reader, from believing what god has said concerning you. if you are indeed a believer in the lord jesus, then this precious privilege, of being in partnership with the father and the son, is yours, though you and i are entirely unworthy of it. if the consciousness of our unworthiness were to keep us from believing what god has said concerning those who depend upon and trust in the lord jesus for salvation, then we should find that there is not one single blessing, with which we have been blessed in the lord jesus, from which, on account of our unworthiness, we could derive any settled comfort or peace. iv. there is one other point, which, in connection with several portions of the word of god which bear on the subject, i desire to bring before the believing reader, and it refers to the "scriptural way of overcoming the difficulties with which the believer now meets who is engaged in a business, trade, profession, or any earthly calling whatever, which arise from competition in business, too great a number of persons being occupied in the same calling, stagnation of trade, and the like." the children of god, who are strangers and pilgrims on earth, have at all times had difficulty in the world, for they are not _at_ home, but _from_ home; nor should they, until the return of the lord jesus, expect it to be otherwise with them. but whilst this is true, it is also true that the lord has provided us in all our difficulties with something in his own word to meet them. all difficulties may be overcome by acting according to the word of god. at this time i more especially desire to point out the means whereby the children of god who are engaged in any earthly calling may be able to overcome the difficulties which arise from competition in business, too great a number of persons being occupied in the same calling, stagnation of trade, and the like. . the first thing which the believer who is in such difficulties has to ask himself is, _am i in a calling in which i can abide with god?_ if our occupation be of that kind that we cannot ask god's blessing upon it, or that we should be ashamed to be found in it at the appearing of the lord jesus, or that it _of necessity_ hinders our spiritual progress, then we must give it up, and be engaged in something else; but in few cases only this is needful. far the greater part of the occupations in which believers are engaged are not of such a nature as that they need to give them up in order to maintain a good conscience, and in order to be able to walk with god, though, perhaps, certain alterations may need to be made in the manner of conducting their trade, business, or profession. about these parts of our calling which may need alteration, we shall receive instruction from the lord if we indeed desire it, and wait upon him for it, and expect it from him. . now suppose the believer is in a calling in which he can abide with god, the next point to be settled is, "_why do i carry on this business, or why am i engaged in this trade or profession?_" in most instances, so far as my experience goes, which i have gathered in my service among the saints during the last fifteen years and a half [_i. e._ in ], i believe the answer would be, "i am engaged in my earthly calling that i may earn the means of obtaining the necessaries of life for myself and family." here is the chief error from which almost all the rest of the errors which are entertained by the children of god, relative to their calling, spring. it is no right and scriptural motive to be engaged in a trade or business or profession _merely_ in order to earn the means for the obtaining of the necessaries of life for ourselves and family, _but we should work because it is the lord's will concerning us_. this is plain from the following passages: thess. iv. , ; thess. iii. - ; eph. iv. . it is quite true that, in general, the lord provides the necessaries of life by means of our ordinary calling: but that that is not the reason why we should work, is plain enough from the consideration that if our possessing the necessaries of life depended upon our ability of working, we could never have _freedom from anxiety_, for we should always have to say to ourselves, and what shall i do when i am too old to work, or when by reason of sickness i am unable to earn my bread? but if, on the other hand, we are engaged in our earthly calling because _it is the will of the lord concerning us that we should work_, and that thus laboring we may provide for our families, and also be able to support the weak, the sick, the aged, and the needy, then we have good and scriptural reason to say to ourselves, should it please the lord to lay me on a bed of sickness, or keep me otherwise by reason of infirmity, or old age, or want of employment, from earning my bread by means of the labor of my hands, or my business, or my profession, he will yet provide for me. because we who believe are servants of jesus christ, who has bought us with his own precious blood, and are not our own, and because this our precious lord and master has commanded us to work, therefore we work: and _in doing so_ our lord will provide for us, but whether in this way or any other way he is sure to provide for us, for we labor in obedience to him; and if even a just earthly master give wages to his servants, the lord will surely see to it that we have our wages, if, in obedience to him, we are engaged in our calling, and not for our own sake. how great the difference between acting according to the word of god and according to our own natural desires, or the customs of the world, will be plain, i trust, by the following case: suppose i were engaged in some useful trade. suppose i had the certain human prospect that within the next three months my labor would bring me in nothing, for certain reasons connected with the state of mercantile affairs. as a man of the world i should say, i shall not work at all, because my labor will not be paid; but as a christian, who desires to act according to god's holy word, i ought to say, my trade is useful to society, and i will work, notwithstanding all human prospects, because the lord jesus has commanded me to labor; from him, and not from my trade, i expect my wages. in addition to this, the christian ought also to say, idleness is a dreadful snare of the devil; he has especial opportunity to get an advantage over the children of god when they are unoccupied; and, therefore, i will work though i have no human prospect of obtaining payment for my labor, but shall get only the cost price of the material, and shall have to give my work for nothing. moreover, the christian ought to say, though according to _human_ probability i shall have to labor for nothing during the next three months, yet i will work, because the lord may speedily alter the state of things, contrary to all human expectation; but whether he be pleased to do so or not, i labor because i am the lord's, bought by his precious blood, and he commands me to labor. but there are motives still lower than to be engaged in our earthly calling merely that we may earn the means of obtaining the necessaries of life, why even christians, true children of god, may be engaged in their calling, such as, to obtain a certain sum of money, and then to retire from business and to live upon the interest; or to provide something for old age; or to obtain a certain amount of property, without intending to give up business. if it be unscriptural to be engaged in our calling merely even for the sake of earning the means for procuring the necessaries of life for ourselves and family, how much more unbecoming that a child of god should be engaged in his calling for the sake of any of the last-mentioned reasons. this second point, then, why do i carry on this business? why am i engaged in this trade or profession? ought first to be settled in the fear of god, and according to the revealed will of god; and if we cannot say, in honesty of heart, i do carry on my business, i am engaged in my trade, or art, or profession, as a servant of jesus christ, whose i am, because he has bought me with his precious blood, and he has commanded me to work, and therefore i work,--i say, if we cannot say this in honesty of heart, but must confess that we work on account of lower motives, such as that we may earn our bread, or on account of still lower motives, and such as are altogether unbecoming a child of god, who is not of the world, but of god, such as to obtain a certain sum of money in order to be able to live on the interest without having to work, or to provide something for old age, or to obtain a certain amount of property without intending to give up business;--if these are our motives for being engaged in our calling, i say, can we be surprised that we meet with great difficulties in our business, and that the lord in his abounding love to us, his erring children, does not allow us to succeed? but suppose this second point is scripturally settled, and we can honestly say that, because we are servants of jesus christ, we are occupied as we are; we have further to consider,-- . whether we carry on our business, or are engaged in our trade, art, or profession, _as stewards_ of the lord. to the child of god it ought not to be enough that he is in a calling in which he can abide with god, nor that he is engaged in his calling because it is the will of his lord and master that he should work, but he should consider himself in his trade, business, art, or profession, only as the _steward_ of the lord with reference to his income. the child of god has been bought with the precious blood of the lord jesus, and is altogether his property, with all that he possesses, his bodily strength, his mental strength, his ability of every kind, his trade, business, art, or profession, his property, etc.; for it is written, "ye are not your own; for ye are bought with a price." cor. vi. , . the proceeds of our calling are therefore not our own in the sense of using them as our natural heart wishes us to do, whether to spend them on the gratification of our pride, or our love of pleasure, or sensual indulgences, or to lay by the money for ourselves or our children, or use it in any way as we _naturally_ like, but we have to stand before our lord and master, whose _stewards_ we are, to seek to ascertain his will, how he will have us use the proceeds of our calling. but is this indeed the spirit in which children of god generally are engaged in their calling? it is but too well known that it is not the case! can we then wonder at it, that even god's own dear children should so often be found greatly in difficulty with regard to their calling, and be found so often complaining about stagnation or competition in trade, and the difficulties of the times, though there have been given to them such precious promises as, "seek ye first the kingdom of god, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you;" or, "let your conversation (disposition or turn of mind) be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, i will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." heb. xiii. . is it not obvious enough that when our heavenly father sees that we his children do or would use the proceeds of our calling, _as our natural mind_ would desire, that he either cannot at all intrust us with means, or will be obliged to decrease them? no wise and really affectionate mother will permit her infant to play with a razor, or with fire, however much the child may desire to have them; and so the love and wisdom of our heavenly father will not, cannot, intrust us with pecuniary means, _except it be in the way of chastisement, or to show us finally their utter vanity_, if he sees that we do not desire to possess them as _stewards_ for him, in order that we may spend them as he may point out to us by his holy spirit, through his word. in connection with this subject, i give a few hints to the believing reader on three passages of the word of god. in cor. xvi. , we find it written to the brethren at corinth, "upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as god has prospered him." a contribution for the poor saints in judea was to be made, and the brethren at corinth were exhorted to put by for it, _every lord's day_, according to the measure of success which the lord had been pleased to grant them in their calling during the week. now, ought not the saints in our day also to act according to this word? there is no passage in the word of god why we should not do so, and it is altogether in accordance with our pilgrim character, not only once or twice, or four times a year, to see how much we can afford to give to the poor saints, or to the work of god in any way, but to seek to settle it weekly. if it be said, i cannot ascertain how much i have gained in the course of the week by my business, and therefore i cannot give accordingly; my reply is this, seek, dear brethren, as much as possible, to bring your business upon such a footing as that you may be able, as nearly as possible, to settle how much you have earned in your calling in the course of the week. but suppose you should be unable to settle it exactly to the shilling or pound, yet you will know pretty well how it has been with you during the week, and therefore, _according to your best knowledge_, contribute on the coming lord's day towards the necessities of the poor saints, and towards the work of god, as he, after your having sought his guidance, may lead you. perhaps you say, the weeks are so unlike; in one week i may earn three or even ten times as much as in another week, and if i give according to my earnings from my calling during a very good week, then how are such weeks, when i earn scarcely any thing, or how are the bad debts to be met? how shall i do when sickness befalls my family, or when other trials productive of expense come upon me, if i do not make provision for such seasons? my reply is, . i do not find in the whole new testament one single passage in which either directly or indirectly exhortations are given to provide against deadness in business, bad debts, and sickness, by laying up money. . often the lord is obliged to allow deadness in business, or bad debts, or sickness in our family, or other trials which increase our expenses, to befall us, because we do not, as his _stewards_, act _according to stewardship_, but as if we were owners of what we have, forgetting that the time has not yet come when we shall enter upon _our possessions_; and he does so in order that, by these losses and expenses, our property which we have collected may be decreased, lest we should altogether set our hearts again upon earthly things, and forget god entirely. his love is so great, that he will not let his children quietly go their own way when they have forsaken him; but if his loving admonitions by his holy spirit are disregarded, he is obliged in fatherly love to chastise them. a striking illustration of what i have said we have in the case of israel nationally. the commandment to them was, to leave their land uncultivated in the seventh year, in order that it might rest, and the lord promised to make up for this deficiency by his abundant blessing resting upon the sixth year. however, israel acted not according to this commandment, no doubt saying, in the unbelief of their hearts, as the lord had foretold, "what shall we eat in the seventh year? behold, we shall not sow, nor gather in our increase." levit. xxv. but what did the lord do? he was determined the land should have rest, and as the israelites did not willingly give it, he sent them for seventy years into captivity, in order that thus the land might have rest. see levit. xxvi. - . beloved brethren in the lord, let us take heed so to walk as that the lord may not be obliged by chastisement to take a part of our earthly possessions from us in the way of bad debts, sickness, decrease of business, and the like, because we would not own our position as _stewards_, but act as _owners_, and keep for ourselves the means with which the lord had intrusted us, not for the gratification of our own carnal mind, but for the sake of using them in his service and to his praise. it might also be said by a brother whose earnings are small, should _i_ also give according to my earnings? they are already so small that my wife can only with the greatest difficulty manage to make them sufficient for the family. my reply is, have you ever considered, my brother, that the very reason why the lord is obliged to let your earnings remain so small may be the fact of your spending everything upon yourselves, and that if he were to give you more you would only use it to increase your own family comfort, instead of looking about to see who among the brethren are sick, or who have no work at all, that you might help them, or how you might assist the work of god at home or abroad? there is a great temptation for a brother whose earnings are small to put off the responsibility of assisting the needy and sick saints, or helping on the work of god, and to lay it upon the few rich brethren and sisters with whom he is associated in fellowship, and thus rob his own soul! it might be asked, how much shall i give of my income? the tenth part, or the fifth part, or the third part, or one half, or more? my reply is, god lays down no rule concerning this point. what we do we should do cheerfully and not of necessity. but if even jacob, with the first dawning of spiritual light (genesis xxviii. ), promised to god the tenth of all he should give to him, how much ought we believers in the lord jesus to do for him: we, whose calling is a heavenly one, and _who know distinctly_ that we are children of god, and joint heirs with the lord jesus! yet do all the children of god give even the _tenth_ part of what the lord gives them? that would be two shillings per week for the brother who earns one pound, and four shillings to him who earns two pounds, and two pounds per week to him whose income is twenty pounds per week. in connection with cor. xvi. , i would mention two other portions: . "he which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he that soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully." cor. ix. . it is certain that we children of god are so abundantly blessed in jesus, by the grace of god, that we ought to need no stimulus to good works. the forgiveness of our sins, the having been made forever the children of god, the having before us the father's house as our home;--these blessings ought to be sufficient motives to constrain us in love and gratitude to serve god abundantly all the days of our life, and cheerfully also to give up, as he may call for it, that with which he has intrusted us of the things of this world. but whilst this is the case, the lord nevertheless holds out to us in his holy word motives why we should serve him, deny ourselves, use our property for him, etc., and the last mentioned passage is one of that kind. the verse is true, both with reference to the life that is now, and that which is to come. if we have been sparingly using our property for him, there will have been little treasure laid up in heaven, and therefore a small amount of capital will be found in the world to come, so far as it regards reaping. again, we shall reap bountifully if we seek to be rich towards god, by abundantly using our means for him, whether in ministering to the necessities of the poor saints, or using otherwise our pecuniary means for his work. dear brethren, these things are realities! shortly, very shortly, will come the reaping-time, and then will be the question whether we shall reap sparingly or bountifully. but while this passage refers to the life hereafter, it also refers to the life that now is. just as now the _love of christ_ constrains us to communicate of that with which the lord intrusts us, so will be the present reaping, both with regard to spiritual and temporal things. should there be found, therefore, in a brother, the want of entering into his position as being merely a _steward_ for the lord in his calling, and should he give no heed to the admonitions of the holy ghost to communicate to those who are in need or to help the work of god, then can such a brother be surprised that he meets with great difficulties in his calling, and that he cannot get on? this is according to the lord's word. he is _sowing sparingly_, and he therefore _reaps sparingly_. but should _the love of christ_ constrain a brother, out of the earnings of his calling, to sow bountifully, he will even in this life reap bountifully, both with regard to blessings in his soul, and with regard to temporal things. consider in connection with this the following passage, which, though taken from the book of proverbs, is not of a jewish character, but true concerning believers under the present dispensation also: "there is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty. the liberal soul shall be made fat; and he that watereth shall be watered also himself." prov. xi. , . in connection with cor. xvi. , i would also direct my brethren in the lord to the promise made in luke vi. : "give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. for with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again." this refers evidently to the present dispensation, and evidently in its primary meaning to temporal things. now let any one, _constrained by the love of jesus_, act according to this passage; let him on the first day of the week communicate as the lord has prospered him, and he will see that the lord will act according to what is contained in this verse. if pride constrain us to give, if self-righteousness make us liberal, if natural feeling induce us to communicate, or if we give whilst we are in a state of insolvency, not possessing more perhaps than ten shillings in the pound, were our creditors to come upon us; then we cannot expect to have this verse fulfilled in our experience; nor should we give at any time for the sake of receiving again from others, according to this verse; but if indeed _the love of christ constrain us_ to communicate according to the ability which the lord gives us, then we shall have this verse fulfilled in our experience, though this was not the motive which induced us to give. somehow or other the lord will abundantly repay us, through the instrumentality of our fellow-men, what we are doing to his poor saints, or in any way for his work, and we shall find that in the end we are not losers, even with reference to temporal things, whilst we communicate liberally of the things of this life with which the lord has intrusted us. here it might be remarked, but if it be so that even in this life, and with regard to temporal things, it is true that "to him that gives shall be given, good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over," and that "he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully," then in the end the most liberal persons would be exceedingly rich. concerning this remark we have to keep in mind, that the moment persons were to begin to give for the sake of receiving more back again from the lord, through the instrumentality of their fellow-men, than they have given; or the moment persons wished to alter their way, and no more go on sowing bountifully, but sparingly, in order to increase their possessions, whilst god is allowing them to reap bountifully, the river of god's bounty toward them would no longer continue to flow. god had supplied them abundantly with means, because he saw them act as _stewards_ for him. he had intrusted them with a little which they had used for him, and he therefore intrusted them with more; and if they had continued to use the much also for him, he would have still more abundantly used them as instruments to scatter abroad his bounties. the child of god must be willing to be a channel through which god's bounties flow, both with regard to temporal and spiritual things. this channel is narrow and shallow at first, it may be; yet there is room for some of the waters of god's bounty to pass through. and if we cheerfully yield ourselves as channels for this purpose, then the channel becomes wider and deeper, and the waters of the bounty of god can pass through more abundantly. without a figure, it is thus: at first, we may be only instrumental in communicating five pounds, or ten pounds, or twenty pounds, or fifty pounds, or one hundred pounds, or two hundred pounds per year, but afterwards double as much; and, if we are still more faithful in our stewardship, after a year or two four times as much, afterwards perhaps eight times as much, at last perhaps twenty times or fifty times as much. we cannot limit the extent to which god may use us as instruments in communicating blessing, both temporal and spiritual, if we are willing to yield ourselves as instruments to the living god, and are content to be _only instruments, and to give him all the glory_. but with regard to temporal things it will be thus, that if indeed we walk according to the mind of god in these things, whilst more and more we become instruments of blessing to others, we shall not seek to enrich ourselves, but be content, when the last day of another year finds us still in the body, to possess no more than on the last day of the previous year, or even considerably less, whilst we have been, however, in the course of the year, the instruments of communicating largely to others, through the means with which the lord had intrusted us. as to my own soul, by the grace of god, it would be a burden to me that however much my income in the course of the year might have been, i were increasing in earthly possession; for it would be a plain proof to me that i had not been acting as a _steward_ for god, and had not been yielding myself as a channel for the waters of god's bounty to pass through. i also cannot but bear my testimony here, that in whatever feeble measure god has enabled me to act according to these truths for the last fifteen years [this was written in ]; i have found it to be profitable, most profitable to my own soul; and as to temporal things, i never was a loser in doing so, but i have most abundantly found the truth in cor. ix. , and luke vi. , and prov. xi. , , verified in my own experience. i only have to regret that i have acted so little according to what i have now been stating; but my godly purpose is by the help of god, to spend the remainder of my days in practising these truths more than ever; and i am sure that when i am brought to the close of my earthly pilgrimage, either in death, or by the appearing of our lord jesus, i shall not have the least regret in having done so; and i know that, should i leave my dear child behind, the lord will abundantly provide for her, and prove that there has been a better provision made for her than her father could have made, if he had sought to insure his life or lay up money for her. before leaving this part of the subject, i mention to the believing reader, that i know instance upon instance in which what i have been saying has been verified, but i will only mention the following: i knew many years ago a brother as the manager of a large manufactory. whilst in this capacity he was liberal, and giving away considerably out of his rather considerable salary. the lord repaid this to him; for the principals of the establishment, well knowing his value to their house of business, gave him now and then, whilst he thus was liberally using his means for the lord, very large presents in money. in process of time, however, this brother thought it right to begin business on his own account, in a very small way. he still continued to be liberal, according to his means, and god prospered him, and prospered him so that now, whilst i am writing, his manufactory is as large as the one which he formerly managed, or even larger, though that was a very considerable one. and sure i am that if this brother shall be kept by god from setting his heart upon earthly things, and from seeking more and more to increase his earthly riches, but shall delight himself in being used as a _steward_ by god, cheerfully communicating to the need of god's poor children, or to his work in other ways, and doing so not sparingly, but bountifully, the lord will intrust him more and more with means; if otherwise, if he shut up his hands, seek his own, wish to obtain sufficient property that he may be able to live on his interest, then what he has to expect is that god will shut up his hands, he will meet with heavy losses, or there will be an alteration in his affairs for the worse, or the like. i also mention two other cases, to show that the lord increases our ability of communicating temporal blessings to others if we distribute according to the means with which he has intrusted us, though we should not be in a trade or business or profession. i know a brother who many years ago saw it right not only to spend his interest for the lord, but also the principal, as the lord might point out to him opportunities. his desire was not, as indeed it ought never to be, to get rid of his money as fast as possible, yet he considered himself a steward for the lord, and was therefore willing, as his lord and master might point it out to him, to spend his means. when this brother came to this determination, he possessed about twenty thousand pounds sterling. according to the light and grace which the lord had been pleased to give, he afterwards acted, spending the money for the lord, in larger or smaller sums, as opportunities were pointed out to him by the lord. thus the sum more and more decreased, whilst the brother steadily pursued his course, serving the lord with his property, and spending his time and ability also for the lord, in service of one kind or another among his children. at last, the twenty thousand pounds were almost entirely spent, when at that very time the father of this very brother died, whereby he came into the possession of an income of several thousand pounds a year. it gives joy to my heart to be able to add, that this brother still pursues his godly course, living in the most simple way, and giving away perhaps ten times as much as he spends on himself or family. here you see, dear reader, that this brother, using faithfully for the lord what he had been intrusted with at first, was made steward over more; for he has now more than one third as much in a year coming in as he at first possessed altogether. i mention another instance: i know a brother to whom the lord has given a liberal heart, and who bountifully gave of that over which the lord had set him as steward. the lord, seeing this, intrusted him with still more, for through family circumstances he came into the possession of many thousand pounds, in addition to the considerable property he possessed before. i have the joy of being able to add also concerning this brother, that the lord continues to give him grace to use his property as a steward for god, and that he has not been permitted to set his heart upon his riches, through the very considerable increase of his property, but that he continues to live as the steward of the lord, and not as the owner of all this wealth. and now, dear reader, when the brethren to whom i have been referring are brought to the close of their earthly pilgrimage, will they have one moment's regret that they have used their property for the lord? will it be the least particle of uneasiness to their minds, or will their children be the worse for it? o no! the only regret they will have concerning this matter will be, that they did not serve the lord still more abundantly with their property. dear reader, let us each in our measure act in the same spirit. money is really worth no more than as it is used according to the mind of the lord; and life is worth no more than as it is spent in the service of the lord. whilst the three points mentioned-- . that our calling must be of that nature that _we can abide in it with god_; . that unto the lord we should labor in our calling, as _his servants_, because he has bought us with his blood, and because he will have us to labor; . that as _stewards_ we should labor in our calling, because the earnings of our calling are the lord's and not our own, as he has bought us with his blood;--i say, whilst these three points are particularly to be attended to in order that the lord's blessing may rest upon our calling, and we be prospering in it, there are, nevertheless, some other points to be attended to, which i mention in love to my brethren in the lord, by whom they may be needed. . the next point is, that _a believer in the lord jesus should do nothing in his calling which is purely for the sake of attracting the world_; such as, for instance, fitting up his shop or rooms of business in the most costly manner. i do not in the least mean to say that his shop or rooms of business should not be clean, orderly, and of such a character as that there may be no positive hindrance in persons going there. all the _needful_ conveniences that are expected may be there, and ought to be there. but if any child of god seek to have the front of his shop, or the interior of his shop, or of his place of business, fitted up in a most expensive way, simply for the sake of attracting attention, then let him be aware that, just in so far as he is trusting in these things, he is not likely to succeed in his calling, because he puts the manner of fitting up the shop in the room of trust in the lord. such things the lord may allow to succeed in the case of an unbeliever, but they will not prosper in the case of a child of god, except it be in the way of chastisement, just as the lord gave to israel in the wilderness the desire of their hearts, but sent leanness into their souls. should any brother have fallen into this error, the first thing he has to do, when the lord has instructed him concerning this point, is to make confession of sin, and, as far as it can be done, to retrace his steps in this particular. if this cannot be done, then to cast himself upon the mercy of god in christ jesus. . of the same character is, to seek to attract the attention of the world by "boasting advertisements," such as "no one manufactures so good an article," "no one sells this article so cheap," "we sell the best article in the city," etc. suppose these statements were quite correct, yet they are unbecoming for a child of god, who has the living god to care for him and to provide for him, and therefore needs not to make use of such boasting, whereby he may seek to insure custom to himself and keep it from others. the law of love is, "whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them." matt. vii. . now what do i wish in this particular that others should do to me, but that they should not seek to keep away persons from dealing with me; but if i use such like expressions in my advertisements, as have been mentioned, what do they imply but that i wish all people should come to me, and deal with me? if, however, already under the old covenant it was said, "thou shalt not covet," how much more sinful and altogether unbecoming is it for us children of god, who are in fellowship with the father and the son, to make use of such means in order to insure to ourselves pecuniary advantages. but, however much the lord may allow a man of the world to prosper in using such means, they are only hindrances to the child of god to getting on in his calling, because the lord sees that they are substituted instead of trust in himself; and should the lord for a season allow his child apparently to be benefited by them, it will only be for his chastisement and connected with leanness in his soul. therefore, my brethren in the lord, i beseech you to put away all these things out of your calling, lest you should be hindering instead of furthering your real welfare. . likewise of a similar character is the following point, which god may suffer to be a real hindrance to his children in their calling; it is, to seek the very best, and therefore the most expensive, situations which can be had in a town or city. now, i do by no means intend to say, that in our trade, business, art, or profession, we should seek the most obscure, retired, out of the way place possible, and say, "god will provide, and i need not mind in what part of the town i carry on my calling." there are most assuredly certain things to be considered. the persons who are likely to buy the articles i sell, or employ me, are to be considered, and i have not to say, it matters nothing to me whether i make them come a mile or two to my house, or to the most dirty and disagreeable part of the town; this would be the extreme in the other way. but whilst there is a certain consideration to be used with reference to those who may employ us in our calling, yet if the trust of the child of god respecting temporal prosperity is in the fact that he lives in the best situation, the lord will surely disappoint him. he will have to pay a very high rent for the best situation, and yet not succeed, because his trust is in the best situation. he is substituting it for dependence upon the living god for customers. he is robbing his soul, not only in not taking the customers as from the hands of the lord, but he is also obliging his heavenly father, in the very love of his heart, to cause him to be disappointed, because he is not trusting in him. if the child of god were saying and acting thus: the best situation would cost me fifty pounds a year more rent than one which is not really inconvenient for my customers, nor in an improper neighborhood, and the like; this fifty pounds i dedicate unto the lord, to be paid in instalments for his work or his poor saints, whenever the rent-day comes; such a brother would find himself to be no loser, if this indeed were done in dependence upon the lord, and constrained by the love of jesus. but if the fifty pounds more is paid for rent, and yet the living god, in the very love of his heart, should be obliged to withhold prosperity from his child in his calling, because he sees that he is laying undue stress upon the situation of the house, then not only the fifty pounds extra rent per year is lost, but also that which the lord is obliged to withhold from his child besides, in order to teach him the lesson; and thus year after year, by our own fault, we may have scarcely anything to give for the work of god. . the next obstacle to prosperity in our calling which i now would mention is, that children of god often use such expressions as these with reference to their calling: "this is our busy time," or "this is our dead time;" which implies that they do not day after day deal with god about their calling, but that they ascribe their having much or little to do to circumstances, or to times and seasons. that the people of the world should do so is not to be wondered at; but that the children of god should act thus, who in the most minute affairs of life should seek the help of god, and deal with god about them, is a matter of sorrow to the spiritual mind, and is altogether unbecoming saints. but what is the result? the lord, according to the expectations of his children, allows them to be without employment, because they say, "this is our dead season." "he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief," contains a truth which comes in here. but what is the right way of looking at the matter? it is this: the child of god should say, though generally about this time of the year there is little employment to be expected, looking at it naturally, just as want of employment is neither good for the outward nor inward man, and as i only desire employment to serve god in my business, to have to give to those who are in need, or help in other ways the work of god, i will now give myself to prayer for employment, for i can by prayer and faith as a child of god obtain blessings from my heavenly father, though not in the ordinary course of things. if thus the child of god were to say and to act, he would soon have employment in his calling, except the lord meant to use his time otherwise in his work, which he would point out to him. . a further reason why god may be obliged to resist children of god in their business, may be this, that they with the greatest carefulness seek to obtain persons for their shop who are considered "good salesmen," _i. e._ persons who have such persuasive ways, as that they gain an advantage over the customers and induce them not only to buy articles for which they ask, whether suitable or not, but that they also induce them to buy articles which they did not at all intend to buy when they came to the shop. concerning this i notice, in the first place, that if the child of god puts his dependence upon the "good salesmen," let him not be surprised if his heavenly father should be obliged to disappoint him, because he sees his child lean upon the arm of flesh, instead of trusting in the living god; and therefore the business does not succeed. further, it is altogether wrong for a child of god to induce the customers, by means of such men or women who have a persuasive tongue, to purchase articles whether they suit or not, and whether they are needed or not. this is no less than defrauding persons in a subtle way, or leading them into the sin of purchasing beyond their means, or at least spending their money needlessly. however such sinful tricks may be allowed to prosper in the case of a man of the world, in the case of a child of god they will not prosper, except god allow them to do so in the way of chastisement, whilst leanness and wretchedness are brought into the soul. i knew a case of this kind where it was the whole bent of the mind of a professed believer to obtain such "good salesmen," and where even a jew was kept outside the shop, walking up and down, to induce persons to come in and buy; and yet that same professed believer failed twice in his business. . another evil with reference to business, and why children of god do not get on in their calling, is, that they enter upon business often without any capital at all, or with too little. if a believer has no capital at all, or only a very small capital, in comparison with what his business requires, then ought he not to say this to himself: "if it were my heavenly father's will that i should enter upon business on my own account, then would he not somehow or other have intrusted me with the needful means? and since he has not, is it not a plain indication that for the present i should remain a journeyman (or shopman, or clerk, as the case may be)?" in a variety of ways the means might come. for instance, a legacy might be left to him, or money might be given to him by a brother in the lord for that very purpose, or a brother or sister might propose to the individual to lend him money, yet so that if he were unable to pay it again they would not consider him their debtor. but if in some such way the lord did not remove the hindrance, and the brother would still go into business, he would, through the bill system and other things connected with the want of capital, not only bring great distress into his mind, and subject himself to the possibility of at last being unable to pay his creditors, whereby dishonor would be brought upon the name of the lord, but he likewise could not be surprised (as he went into business contrary to the will of god, since he pointed out to him that he was not to do so for want of means) if he should find that he cannot get on, and that the blessing of god manifestly is wanting. in such a case as this, if it can be done, the retracing our steps is the best thing we can do; but often this cannot be done, as others are involved in the matter, and then we have to make acknowledgment of our sin, and seek god's merciful help to bring us into a right position. . but suppose all these nine previous points were attended to, and we neglected _to seek god's blessing upon our calling_, we need still not be surprised if we met with difficulty upon difficulty, and could not get on at all. it is not enough that we seek god's help for that which manifestly is of a spiritual character; but we should seek his help and blessing by prayer and supplication for all our ordinary concerns in life, and if we neglect doing so we shall surely suffer for the neglect. "trust in the lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." prov. iii. , . though these few remarks are written by one who never was in business himself, yet the truths therein set forth have been learned by him in the school of god, and he has had them abundantly confirmed through his pastoral labors during the last fifteen years and a half. [this was written in .] chapter xvii. reaping bountifully. - . an unexpected request--deliberation--a great undertaking--reliance on the resources of the living god--an answer expected and received--prayer for faith and patience--further proofs of divine favor--the blessedness of devising liberal things. i began the service of caring for children who are bereaved of _both_ parents, by death, born in wedlock, and are in destitute circumstances, on dec. , . for nearly ten years i had never had any desire to _build_ an orphan house. on the contrary, i decidedly preferred spending the means which might come in for present necessities, and desired rather to enlarge the work according to the means which the lord might be pleased to give. thus it was till the end of october, , when i was led to consider this matter in a way in which i had never done before.[ ] the occasion of my doing so was this: on oct. , , i received from a gentleman, who lived in the street where the four orphan houses were, a polite and friendly letter, in which he courteously stated to me that the inhabitants in the adjoining houses were in various ways inconvenienced by the orphan houses being in wilson street. he left to myself the judgment of the case. [footnote : the reader will not fail to remark the striking illustration afforded in the present chapter, of the truth stated in chapter xvi., that god rewards the right use of means of benevolence by affording the means of enlarged usefulness.--ed.] this letter i received on thursday morning, oct. , . being very much occupied that week, i had scarcely any time to consider the matter. on monday morning, however, nov. , i set apart some hours for the prayerful consideration of the subject, and after i had besought the lord to guide me to a right decision, i wrote down the reasons which appeared to me to make it desirable that the orphan houses should be _removed_ from wilson street, and also the reasons _against removing_. as far as they are suitable for being stated in print they were these:-- i. reasons for removing from wilson street. . the neighbors feel themselves inconvenienced by the noise of the children in the play-hours. this complaint is neither without foundation, nor unjust; for many persons are very much inconvenienced by the noise of children, and those living close by the orphan houses must be so during the play-hours, even though the noise be only of that kind that one could not at all find fault with the dear children on account of it. i should myself feel it trying to my head to live next door to the orphan houses on that account. i therefore ought to do to others as i should wish to be done by. this point had never before appeared to me in so serious a light. . the greatness of the number of the inmates in the houses had several times prevented the drains from acting properly, and thus has a few times affected the water in one or two of the neighbors' houses. with reference to these two reasons as it regards those living near the orphan houses, these words, "let not your good be evil spoken of," rom. xiv. , and "let your moderation (_i. e._ yieldingness) be known unto all men," philip. iv. , seemed to me two important portions of the word of god to be acted out in this matter. but in addition to the reasons for removing the orphan houses from wilson street on account of the unavoidable occasional inconvenience that comes upon the neighbors, there appeared now to me, when once i was led to consider seriously the reasons for removing the institution from wilson street, other reasons for doing so, in connection with the work itself, which had occurred to me before, but never in so strong a light as now, when the subject was brought more immediately before me by the letter in which i was politely requested to remove the orphan houses from wilson street. these reasons are:-- . we have no proper play-grounds in wilson street. there is one play-ground, which, however, is only large enough for the children of _one house_ at a time; but as there are children in _four_ houses who ought to have the benefit of it, we cannot arrange so that all the children have the full benefit of that play-ground, as the meals, the school-hours, the weather, and other hindrances interfere. the dear orphans ought, i know, to be trained in habits of industry, but children are children, and need to be treated as such; and they should, on account of their health, have the full benefit of a play-ground. but this they cannot have in wilson street: and to take them out into the fields for the benefit of bodily exercise, as we have been in the habit of doing, is often very inconvenient. . we have no ground for cultivation near the orphan houses, and hence there must be more walking for the children, on account of using proper means for keeping them, with the blessing of god, in health, than is in other respects good for them; because frequent walks easily beget in children habits of idleness, which would be especially felt when boys are apprenticed. but this difficulty cannot be obviated by remaining in wilson street, and renting a piece of land somewhere else for cultivation; for to get the children ready and conduct them to the piece of ground not only takes a good deal of time, but is connected with other great inconveniences, yea, with insurmountable difficulties, so that we found it needful to give up a small piece of ground which we once rented for about two years for the orphan boys, at a distance of about half a mile from wilson street. thus, by removing from wilson street, and obtaining premises surrounded by land for cultivation, we should be able to procure a most important moral benefit for the children, by having the opportunity more fully than we now have of training them in habits of industry, besides giving to the boys occupation which is more suitable for them than knitting, which is now the only employment they have, besides making their beds, cleaning the house, and attending to the cooking of their meals. moreover, this would be occupation in the open air, which not only would bring into exercise the use of their limbs, but also make walking for the sake of health almost entirely needless. . if we were to remove from wilson street, and obtain premises in the country, we might have all the washing done at home, which now, for want of room, can be only done in part. thus the girls also would have more laborious work at home, a point of great importance for them, so that they would not feel so much the hardships connected with going out to service. . the situation of wilson street is _perhaps_ scarcely bracing enough for strengthening the constitution of the orphans, most of whom, being the offspring of very diseased parents, require a very invigorating place of abode. . the present situation is _certainly_ not desirable for the teachers, especially as, when their hours of work are over, they have no garden or fields close to the house immediately to go into for a little refreshment of their body; and for some of them it is too far to go to fields, where they might have a bracing air. . in times of sickness we are too confined in the houses in wilson street. if there were less than thirty children in each house, the average expenses for each child would be too great, it being desirable, as the arrangements are now, that there should not be less than three laborers in each house; and yet, if there are thirty children in each house, we are too full in time of sickness, as we have not a single spare room in any of the houses. now, though the lord has during all these years most mercifully helped us through such seasons, yet it has not been without inconvenience, and without also, perhaps, having more of the children in one room, at such times, than on account of health it is desirable. . even ordinarily, when there is no sickness, it would be desirable to have more room. there are no premises to be had in bristol, or in the immediate neighborhood, where we could have these advantages; _for i have been looking about in all directions for this purpose during the last ten years_. but suppose there were a large house to be had in one part of the city, and a second a mile off, and a third and a fourth in other directions, such houses, on account of our peculiar position in the work, would not do. for in seasons of need the distance of the several houses would render it very inconvenient for the laborers to meet together for prayer, to divide the means that may be in hand, etc. besides, when in seasons of other peculiar difficulties, connected with the work, i wished to meet all my fellow-laborers, there would arise great difficulty by their being divided in different parts of the city. it would also thus be very inconvenient to persons who wish to see the work, to go from place to place, in order to have a view of all the orphan houses. but this is not all. the more i have considered the matter, the more am i now persuaded that no ordinary large houses, built for private families, and therefore only calculated to accommodate, ten or fifteen persons at most for any length of time in them, will do for charitable institutions of any considerable size, as no ordinary house, except built on purpose, furnishes the proper advantages of ventilation, _a point so needful for the health of the inmates in a charitable institution_. there seemed to me, therefore, to remain nothing but to build premises for the purpose. ii. reasons for remaining in wilson street. . god _hitherto_ has pointed out the spot most plainly. at the commencement of the work, in , no other house was to be had but no. wilson street. afterwards, when in the infant orphan house was on the point of being opened, again i was looking about in all directions, and saw many houses, but found none that was suitable, till all at once, most unlooked for, the occupiers of no. wilson street were desirous of immediately leaving that house, and i was able thus to rent it. when in i was on the point of opening the boys' orphan house, i looked about again for a house in all directions; for i knew not at that time, what i have since learned by experience, that it was so important that all the houses should be near together. after seeking long in vain, i at last found a very large house, not far from wilson street, which i rented; but when the occupiers of the houses in the neighborhood heard that that house had been let for a charitable institution, they threatened the owner with an action, which led him to request me to give up the agreement, which, of course, i did immediately. at last, most unexpectedly, after having looked about in vain in all directions, the occupiers of no. wilson street offered it to me, and i rented it for the orphan boys. lastly, in the year , when i was led to see it to be the will of god to go forward in this work, and to establish the girls' orphan house, no. , for older girls, one particular feature in the matter was, that the house no. in wilson street had been offered to me, without being sought after, when there had not been for about six years one single large house to be let in that street. [but though _hitherto_ god has pointed out wilson street as being the spot where this work should be carried on, may not _now_ the time have come for removing?] . perhaps we might also rent nos. , , and , in wilson street, and use two out of those three houses for orphan houses, and one of them for an infirmary in the case of sickness. [but then, i said to myself, would not the objection, which the neighbors on the opposite side of the street might make, on account of the noise of the children in their play-hours, etc., remain? also the drains would be still more unsuitable, not being constructed for so many inmates; and to alter them would be a heavy expense. the play-ground would be still less sufficient, if two new houses were added. lastly, there was no reason to think that we could rent nos. , , and .] . there are these three great objections against building: the considerable sum which is required, and which could be spent for present use upon the orphans. the pilgrim character of the christian seems lost in building. the time that it will necessarily take in making arrangements for it. [do not all these objections only hold good, i said to myself, if i were _needlessly_ to set about building? if i could rent premises, which are really in every way suitable for the work, and i _preferred_ building, then those objections would apply to the case; but when one is _forced_ to it, it is no more than erecting a large building because there may be eight hundred children of god in fellowship who have been hitherto renting a meeting-place, but for certain reasons are obliged to leave it, and cannot rent another. such could not be accused of needlessly spending money in building instead of renting; nor could it be justly said that they have _on that account_ given up the pilgrim character; nor would it be time wasted if some individuals were to make arrangements about the building of that meeting-place. therefore these three objections just mentioned, which had been _for ten years strongly in my own mind_, were removed when once i saw plainly that nothing remained but to build.] after i had spent a few hours in prayer and consideration over the subject, i began already to see that the lord would lead me to build, and that his intentions were not only the benefit of the orphans and the better ordering of the whole work, but also the bearing still further testimony that he _could_ and _would_ provide _large_ sums for those who need them and trust in him for them; and besides, that he would enlarge the work, so that, if i once did build a house, it might be large enough to accommodate three hundred orphans, with their teachers and other overseers and servants needful for the work. concerning this latter point, i think it important to remark, that during no period had the number of the applications for the admission of orphans been greater than just before i was led to think about building, so that it was quite painful to me not to be able to comply with the wishes of all the many persons who applied for the admission of orphans. there were many waiting for admission, particularly orphan boys. in the afternoon of november , , i laid the matter before my fellow-laborers in the church (eight in number), to get their judgment, whether i ought not to leave wilson street, and to build. all judged that i ought to leave wilson street, and none saw reasons against building. on nov. , my dear wife and i began to meet for prayer about this matter, and purposed to do so morning by morning. we asked god for clearer light concerning the particular points connected with the subject; and being assured that it was his will that i should build, i began asking the lord for means. on nov. , i judged, having considered the matter more fully, that sufficiently large premises to furnish all needful accommodation for three hundred children (from their earliest days up to fifteen or sixteen years old), together with a sufficiently large piece of ground in the neighborhood of bristol, for building the premises upon, and the remainder for cultivation by the spade, would cost at least ten thousand pounds. i was not discouraged by this, but trusted in the living god. we continued meeting for prayer morning by morning for fifteen days, but not a single donation came in; yet my heart was not discouraged. the more i prayed, the more assured i was that the lord would give the means. yea, as fully assured was i that the lord would do so, as if i had already seen the new premises actually before me. this assurance arose not from some vague, enthusiastical feeling, the mere excitement of the moment, but, . from the reasons already related, and especially from the commandment contained in philip. iv. . for i saw that i should not act according to the mind of our lord jesus if i did not, as soon as i could, remove the orphans from wilson street, as it had been stated to me, in the letter above referred to, that their living there was an annoyance to some of the inhabitants in that street. . this assurance that i should build an orphan house arose further from the whole way in which the lord had been pleased to lead me in connection with the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad since its beginning on march , , _i. e._ he has been leading me forward as by an unseen hand, and enlarging the work more and more from its commencement, and, generally, without my seeking after it, and bringing things so clearly before me that i could not but see that i ought to go forward. . lastly and chiefly, this, my assurance that i should build unto the lord this house of mercy, arose also particularly from this, that having strictly examined my heart as to the motives for doing so, i found that, as before god, i could say that my only motives were his honor and glory, and the welfare of the church of christ at large, the real temporal and spiritual welfare of destitute orphans, and the welfare of all those who might take care of them, in the building to be erected. and finding that, after praying again and again about the matter, i still remained in perfect peace, i judged it assuredly to be the will of god that i should go forward. on nov. , brother r. c. arrived, to labor for a little while in bristol. i communicated to him my position with reference to having to remove the orphans from wilson street, and i had his judgment also as to its being of god that i should _build_. this dear brother's judgment greatly encouraged me. his visit was to me of great help in this particular, especially in stirring me up yet more to bring everything in connection with this matter before god. he also laid it on my heart to seek direction from god with reference to the plan of the building. he said, "you must ask help from god to show you the plan, so that all may be according to the mind of god." up to dec. , thirty-five days had passed away, whilst i was day by day waiting upon god for means for this work, and not a single penny had been given to me. nevertheless, this did not in the least discourage me, but my assurance that god, in his own time and in his own way, would give the means, increased more and more. the portion which came in course of my meditation on the new testament, was the beginning of the epistle of james. more than at any period in my life was i struck with these verses: "my brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations (_i. e._ trials); knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. but let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." james i. - . it was especially the last verse, "but let patience have her perfect work," etc., which i found of exceeding great importance with reference to the building of the orphan house. it led out my soul in prayer day after day, to ask the lord to increase my faith, and to sustain my patience. i had these verses so impressed upon my heart that i could not but think that god meant particularly to bless me by them, with regard to the work before me, and that i should especially need patience as well as faith. on the thirty-sixth day after having begun to pray, dec. , , i received one thousand pounds towards the building of the orphan house. this is the largest donation that i had received up to that time for the scriptural knowledge institution; but when i received it i was as calm, as quiet, as if i had only received one shilling. for my heart was looking out for answers. day by day i was expecting to receive answers to my prayers. therefore, having faith concerning the matter, this donation did not in the least surprise me. yea, if five thousand pounds or ten thousand pounds had been given to me, instead of one thousand pounds, it would not have surprised me. dec. . on the thirty-ninth day my sister-in-law, who had been for some weeks absent in london, and who had now returned to bristol, told me that she had met a gentleman in london, who, having quite recently read with deep interest the narrative of the lord's dealings with me, wished to know as many particulars about the work in my hands as he could. being told by my sister-in-law that i purposed to build an orphan mouse, he, an architect, offered to make the plan, and superintend the building _gratuitously_. unsolicited, he pressed this matter upon her with deep and lively interest. i hear also that he is a christian. the fact that this offer comes _unsolicited_, and from a christian architect, shows especially the hand of god. this is the _second_ proof that god will help me in this matter. dec. . this is now the fiftieth day since i have come to the conclusion to build, and the forty-ninth day since we have been daily waiting upon god for help. nothing more has come in since dec. , not even one penny. this morning i have been particularly encouraged by the consideration that the lord has sent me the one thousand pounds, and the promise from that pious architect, whom i have never seen, and of whose name i am as yet in ignorance, _not to mock me, but as an earnest that he will give all that is needed_. it seems desirable that we should have a large piece of ground, at least six or seven acres. this piece of ground must be in the vicinity of bristol: . in order that the orphan house may be accessible to me, as my place at present is fixed by my other work in bristol. . that the laborers in the institution, and the orphans may be able to attend our meetings, at least on the lord's day. for if meetings were held on purpose in the orphan house, either the laborers or the children would not be benefited by them in that measure in which it is desirable. . that the inhabitants of bristol may have the benefit of seeing with their own eyes this work of god, which is so manifestly his and not mine. . that strangers who pass through bristol may have easy access to it, for the same reason. but then, such a piece of ground near bristol, where there is just now such an inordinate desire for building, in the way of speculation, would cost, in all human probability, between two and three thousand pounds. then the building itself, however plain, would not cost less than from six to eight thousand pounds, being for three hundred orphans, besides all their overseers, teachers, and assistants. in addition to this, the fitting up and furnishing the house for all these between three and four hundred inmates would not cost less than fifteen hundred pounds more. this is indeed a large sum of money which i need; but my hope is in god. i have not sought after this thing. it has not begun with me. god has altogether unexpectedly, by means of the letter before mentioned, led me to it. only the day before i received the letter, i had no more thought about _building_ premises for the accommodation of the orphans than i had had during the ten previous years. my especial prayer is that god would continue to me _faith_ and _patience_. if he shall be pleased to help me in faith and patience to continue to wait on him, help will surely come. dec. . no further donation yet. but my hope in god is unshaken. he most assuredly will help. i have on purpose not issued any circular in connection with this matter, in order that the hand of god may be the more manifest. to some persons residing in or out of bristol i have spoken about my intention of building, when conversation led to it. through this, if the lord please, he can make it known to others, and thus send means for the building fund. or he can send in such an abundance of means for the work which is already in existence, that from that abundance there might be a rich surplus towards the building fund. but howsoever god may help, i do desire to see his hand made most manifest. there will be, no doubt, many trials connected with this enlargement of the field of labor (for if with the one hundred and thirty orphans there has been so much trial of faith, what is to be expected when the number is three hundred); and therefore i desire to see as clearly as daylight that god himself is leading me onward. dec. . this is the fifty-sixth day since i came to the conclusion to build, and the fifty-fifth since i have been day by day waiting upon god concerning it. only that one donation had come in till this evening, when i received fifty pounds. this donation is exceedingly precious to me, not only because i am sure it is most cheerfully given, nor even because of its largeness, but because it is another precious proof that god will bring about the matter, else he would not give me these earnests. all _my_ business therefore is, to continue in faith and patience to wait upon god. my assurance has been more and more increasing that god will build for himself a large orphan house in this city, to show to the inhabitants, and to all who may read and hear about it, what a blessed thing it is to trust in him. of late i have seen, by god's grace, more and more how entirely unworthy i am of being used by god for this glorious and honorable service, and i can only say: "lord, here is thy servant, if thou art pleased to use such a one as i am." dec. , . this morning i came, in course of my reading, to the commencement of the book of ezra. i was particularly refreshed by the two following points contained in the first chapter, in applying them to the building of the orphan house: . cyrus, an _idolatrous_ king, was used by god to provide the means for building the temple at jerusalem: how easy therefore for god to provide ten thousand pounds for the orphan house, or even twenty or thirty thousand pounds, if needed. . the people were stirred up by god to help those who went up to jerusalem. thus it is a small matter for him to put it into the hearts of his children to help me, in desiring to build this house of mercy unto his name. this meditation i had before breakfast. after family prayer in the morning, i had again my usual season for prayer about the building, and at this time it was particularly coupled with thanksgiving for the fifty pounds received last evening, and with entreating blessings on the donor. i was now looking out for more, as i am doing day by day, when this afternoon i received from a person at clevedon two shillings sixpence, from her grandson sixpence, and from the sister in the lord who brought the money the change which she did not wish back, being another sixpence. these donations, though small, are nevertheless very precious to me, as i take them as further proofs out of the hands of god that he will most assuredly bring this thing to pass. this evening i received one thousand pounds towards the building fund. when i received this donation i was as calm, yea as perfectly calm, as if i had received a single penny, because, by god's grace, i have faith in him, and therefore i am looking for answers to my prayers, and am sure that god will give every shilling that is needed. january , . this evening i received from bideford eleven shillings towards the building fund. jan. . one of the orphans gave sixpence. jam . received a little bag made of foreign seed, and a shell flower, to be sold for the building fund. the sister who sent these articles wrote to me, that the moment she heard of my intention of building an orphan house, this text was before her mind: "who art thou, o great mountain? before zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain." zech. iv. . also one of the orphans sent fourpence. having asked the lord to go before me, i went out to-day to look for a piece of ground. the armory which is to be sold had been several times mentioned to me as a suitable place. i did not think so, yet i thought i ought at least to look at it. having seen it and been confirmed in my judgment about its unsuitableness, i asked the lord whether i should turn towards the city or towards stapleton. i felt led to go towards the city, and saw immediately after some fields near the armory. after having made inquiry to whom they belonged, i have been led to write this evening to the owner of them, asking him whether he is disposed to sell them, etc. i am now quietly waiting the lord's pleasure. if his time is come to answer our requests as to a suitable piece of land, i shall be glad; if it is not yet come, i desire that "patience may have her perfect work, being perfect and entire, wanting nothing." jan. . this evening i received a reply to my letter. the owner of those fields writes, that, if he did sell them, it would be only for building land, and therefore they will be too dear. jan. . went this morning once more to see those fields, which seem very suitable. met there mr. l., a land agent, who told me that they would be nearly a thousand pounds per acre, and therefore too dear. i asked mr. l. to inform me if he should hear of any suitable land for sale. jan. . it is now eighty-nine days since i have been daily waiting upon god about the building of an orphan house. the time seems to me now near when the lord will give us a piece of ground, and i told the brethren and sisters so this evening, after our usual saturday evening prayer meeting at the orphan house. feb. . a poor widow sent to-day ten shillings. feb. . to-day i heard of suitable and cheap land on ashley down. feb. . saw the land. it is the most desirable of all i have seen. there was anonymously put into an orphan box at my house a sovereign, in a piece of paper, on which was written, "the new orphan house." feb. . this evening i called on the owner of the land on ashley down, about which i had heard on the d, but he was not at home. as i, however, had been informed that i should find him at his house of business, i went there, but did not find him there either, as he had _just before_ left. i might have called again at his residence at a later hour, having been informed by one of the servants that he would be sure to be at home about eight o'clock; but i did not do so, judging that there was the hand of god in my not finding him at either place: and i judged it best therefore not to force the matter, but to "let patience have her perfect work." feb. . saw this morning the owner of the land. he told me that he awoke at three o'clock this morning and could not sleep again till five. while he was thus lying awake his mind was all the time occupied about the piece of land respecting which inquiry had been made of him for the building of an orphan house, at my request; and he determined with himself that, if i should apply for it, he would not only let me have it, but for one hundred and twenty pounds per acre, instead of two hundred pounds, the price which he had previously asked for it. how good is the lord! the agreement was made this morning, and i purchased a field of nearly seven acres, at one hundred and twenty pounds per acre. observe the hand of god in my not finding the owner at home last evening! the lord meant to speak to his servant first about this matter, during a sleepless night, and to lead him _fully_ to decide before i had seen him. feb. . i wrote the day before yesterday to the architect, who has offered his help gratuitously. feb. . received from a sister in the lord five pounds. received also from the architect the following reply to my letter:-- my dear sir: it will afford me a gratification, beyond what i can communicate by letter, to lend you the helping hand in the labor of love you are engaged in, and i shall esteem it a very great privilege being allowed to exercise my abilities as an architect and surveyor in the erection of the building you propose to erect for the orphans. i really do mean what i say, and, if all is well, by the blessing of god, i will _gratuitously_ furnish you with plans, elevations, and sections, with specification of the work, so that the cost may be accurately estimated. i will also make you an estimate and superintend the works for you _gratuitously_, etc. the total amount which has been given for the building fund, up to june , , is two thousand seven hundred and ten pounds three shillings five and a half pence. this is only a small part of what will be needed; but, by the grace of god, i am in perfect peace, being fully assured that god in his own time will send the whole sum which is required. many and great have already been the exercises of faith and patience since i first began to give myself to prayer about this work, and still greater they may be, before it is accomplished; but god, in the riches of his grace, will help me through them all. it is now (june , ) two hundred and twelve days since i first began to pray about this work, and day after day, since then, have i been enabled to continue to wait upon god, and i am more than ever assured that, not withstanding all my exceeding great unworthiness, god will condescend to use me, to build this house. had it been the excitement of the moment, the difficulties which have already come upon me in connection with this work (and which are not stated here, on account of their occupying too much room) would have overwhelmed me; but as god himself, i trust, led me to this work, so he has helped me, and does help me, and i doubt not will help me to the end. the house is intended to be built so as to accommodate one hundred and forty orphan girls above seven years of age, eighty orphan boys above seven, and eighty male and female orphans from their earliest days, till they are seven years old, together with all the overseers and teachers, etc., that may be needed. the infants, after having passed the age of seven, will be removed into the different departments for older boys and girls. before leaving this period, it may be proper to recur to the following miscellaneous points, respecting the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, with reference to the period from july , , to may , . . during the whole of this period four day schools, with children in them, were _entirely_ supported by the funds of the institution. three day schools besides were _assisted_. the number of the children that were taught in the day schools, entirely supported by the funds of the institution, from march , , to may , , amounts to , . during the period from july , , to may , , £ , s. ¾d. was spent on all the schools, which were either entirely or in part supported by the funds of the scriptural knowledge institution. further: during this period there were also entirely supported a sunday school with children, and an adult school with persons attending it. the total number of the adult scholars who received instruction, from the formation of this institution to may , , is , . . during this period were circulated bibles and testaments; and , bibles and , testaments were circulated from the commencement of the work up to may , . from july , , to may , , £ , s. d. was expended of the funds of the institution on this object. . from july , , to may , , was laid out for foreign and home missions the sum of £ , s. d. during no period previously was so much of the funds of this institution spent on missionary work, which arose from the fact that the more i corresponded with brethren who labored in the word and doctrine in foreign lands, the more i saw how much they stood in need of assistance, and thus, my heart having been led out in prayer to god on their behalf, that he would be pleased to send me means, whereby i might be able to assist them, he was pleased to do so. this led me to the purpose, as god should give me grace, to be still more mindful of them in future, and to seek to be able still more to assist them. the same was the case with regard to those brethren who labor in england, but who have no salary or stipend, but trust in the living god for the supply of their daily necessities; i did long to help such brethren, and had no doubt that god would enable me to do so. . there was laid out for the circulation of tracts from july , , to may , , the sum of £ , s. ½d., for which , such little publications were bought, which, with , in hand on july , , makes , , of which number , were circulated. the total number circulated from nov. , , to may , , amounts to , . . there were received into the four orphan houses, from july , , to may , , orphans, who, together with those who were in the four houses on july , , make up in all. on may , , there were orphans in the four houses. besides this, six apprentices were still supported by the funds of the institution, so that the total number was . the number of the orphans who were under our care from april, , to may , , amounts to . i notice further the following points in connection with the orphan houses. . _without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me_, the sum of £ , , s. ¾d. was given to me _as the result of prayer to god_, from the commencement of the work up to may , . this sum includes the £ , , s. ½d. which, up to june , , was given towards the building fund. (it may be interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which was given as free contributions, for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , amounts to £ , , s. ¾d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day schools, amounts to £ , , s. ½d.) . besides this, also a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, etc., were given for the orphans, as has been stated in the printed reports. the total expenditure for the orphans from july , , to may , , was £ , , s. ½d., and for the other objects, £ , , s. ¼d. in conclusion, i cannot but mention to the praise of the lord concerning this period, that four of the sunday-school children were admitted to communion. likewise three more of the orphans were received into church fellowship; so that up to that time, altogether, thirty-two of the orphans had been admitted. i also mention with peculiar joy, and as a matter for thankfulness, that of those who were apprenticed or sent out to service, from july , , to may , , ten were believers, most of whom had been for several years in fellowship before they were sent out to service. but whilst we desire to receive these instances as precious encouragements from the lord to continue our service, we cannot but believe, judging from the many prayers the lord gives us for the children and adults under our care and instruction, that that which we _see_ is but an earnest of a far larger harvest in the day of christ's appearing. dec. , . since brother craik and i came to bristol, believers have been received into communion. during this year have been received. the lord has been pleased to give me during this year £ , s. d. to this is to be added that for the first two months and six days of this year, my expenses, and those of my dear wife, during our stay in germany, were met, as also our travelling expenses back, as stated in another part of my narrative. also during the whole of this year a christian lady gave to our dear child board and schooling without any remuneration, a present worth to us not less than fifty pounds. on this point i cannot help making a few remarks: i had clearly seen it to be the will of god that my daughter should be brought up at school, and not at home. my reasons for it were these: . my dear wife, though well qualified to instruct our daughter, so far as knowledge goes, was unable, on account of being engaged as my wife in a variety of things connected with the lord's service, to give herself uninterruptedly to this work; and to do it partially we judged to be injurious to our daughter. . i had seen instances in which a home education for an only child had turned out very badly. . i judged that the mixing with other children would be beneficial to our daughter, provided that intercourse was under proper oversight; as thus a child is in early life introduced into a little world, and things do not all at once come upon a young person, when at last obliged to leave the parental roof. . but that which most of all led me to this decision was, that as in the church of christ the lord has qualified the members of the body for the performance of certain work, and all have not the same gift and service, so, in the same way, certain believers are called and qualified above others for instructing children, and give themselves to this particular service, and that, therefore, i ought to make use of the qualifications of such, and of their having given their whole time to this particular service. these reasons led us to place our daughter at school, instead of educating her at home, and we have never had cause to regret the step we took, but, on the contrary, have had abundant reason to praise god for it. i have purposely made these remarks, as i am fully aware that some believers have different views on this subject, and i desire to serve them with the measure of light and experience i have obtained. after our daughter had been at school for half a year, i asked for the account, when it was stated to me by the christian lady in whose establishment she was that she had a pleasure in educating her gratuitously. however, as i pressed the matter, i obtained the account. it was paid, but the exact sum was returned to me anonymously, which, of course, i found out at once to be from the christian sister at whose school my daughter was. from that time i could never more obtain the account, though my dear child was about six years longer at school. i refer to this point for this especial reason: god had laid it on my heart to care about poor destitute orphans. to this service i had been led to give myself; he, in return, as a recompense, even for this life, took care that my own beloved child should have a very good education, free of expense to me. i was able and well able to pay for her education, and most willing to do so; but the lord gave it gratuitously; thus also showing how ready he is abundantly to help me, and to supply my wants. having learned that the brethren in germany were led away by false teachers, and having received, in answer to prayer, five hundred pounds, for the expenses of his journey thither, mr. m. left bristol july , , and, after laboring in word and doctrine in germany, he returned to bristol oct. , . perhaps the reader may ask, what has been the result of this labor in germany? my reply is, god only knows. the day of christ will declare it. judging from the constant labor in prayer during eight months before i went the second time, and day by day while i was on the continent, and day by day for a long time after my return, i am warranted to expect fruit, and i do expect it. i expect abundant fruit in the day of christ's appearing. in the mean time my comfort is that two hundred and twenty thousand tracts have been circulated, many of which, through the providence of god, found their way not only into the darkest places of the continent of europe, but went also to america and australia. further: four thousand copies of my narrative, in german, are almost all circulated. and, again, the publishing of my narrative in german led me to do the same in french, which was accomplished about three years later. further: these tracts were reprinted at hamburg and at cologne, and are circulated by other christians; in addition to which, my having published them in germany led me to get them stereotyped in england, and they continue to be circulated in many countries. december , . there have been received into communion during this year, and , since the commencement of our coming to bristol. during this year the lord has been pleased to give to me £ , s. ¾d. to this is to be added that my dear child had again during the whole of this year her education free at a boarding-school, as stated at the close of the last year, whereby i saved about fifty pounds. also my travelling expenses to and from germany, and other expenses connected with my service in germany, were paid out of the £ pounds to which reference has been made. adding these two items to £ , i had at least £ . april , . to-day my beloved wife and myself had the inexpressibly great joy of receiving a letter from our beloved daughter, while we are staying in the lord's service at chippenham, in which she writes that she has now found peace in the lord jesus. thus our prayers are turned into praises. about eighteen months before this i began especially to pray for the conversion of my dear child, and the lord soon after seems to have begun to work in her heart. chapter xviii. faith confirmed by prosperity. - . the spirit of supplication bestowed and prayer answered--the time of man's need and of god's bounty--faith not shaken--dealing only with god--the needed amount furnished--perpetual "need"--not weary in god's work--joy in answered prayer--four requests granted--"continuing instant in prayer"--the building commenced--personal history--a marked deliverance. in the following chapter, mr. müller has grouped together, under the appropriate heads, the leading events connected with each of the departments of the work of the lord in his hands. i. assistance to the missionary laborers. during no former period since undertaking to send aid to laborers at home and abroad was i intrusted by the lord with such large sums as during the one to which this chapter refers. i had never had more need of pecuniary supplies than during those two years, on account of the many pressing calls; but, at the same time, i had the exceeding great joy and privilege of being able to respond to them in such a way as i had never before been allowed to do. these remarks apply to all the various objects of the institution, but especially to the supplies for brethren who labor at home and abroad in word and doctrine, without being connected with any society, or without having any regular salary for preaching the word. on may , , after the accounts had been closed, a check for one hundred pounds was given to me, the application of which was left to my disposal. i put half of the amount to the fund for these objects, and half to the orphan fund. when the accounts were closed, there was ninety-one pounds four shillings elevenpence three farthings in hand for these objects, to which this fifty pounds was added; therefore i began this period with more means than i had had in hand at any time previously at the beginning of a fresh period; and as was its beginning, so was the continuance. it has often struck me that one especial reason why, on the whole, i was allowed to have so little trial with regard to means for the work during those two years, in comparison with former times, may have been, that thereby the lord would say that he was willing to give what would be needed, when once the new orphan house should be built, though the expenses would be about two thousand five hundred pounds a year more than they were before. june , . to-day was given to me, _just when i rose from my knees_, after having asked the lord for more means, especially for missionary purposes, the sum of one hundred and fifty pounds, with the request to use of it fifty pounds for the orphans, fifty pounds for laborers in england, and fifty pounds for laborers abroad. from the commencement of this institution, on march , , it had been my desire to employ part of the funds, with which i might be intrusted, in aiding missionary brethren in foreign lands, who are not supported by any regular salary; and for several years i had likewise had the desire to assist brethren, laboring in similar circumstances, in great britain and ireland. the lord also had given me the great privilege to assist such brethren more or less during the time that this institution had been in operation; but especially he began during the two years to which this chapter refers to allow me to do so in a far greater degree than before. i knew it to be a fact that many brethren who preach the word, without having any salary for doing so, or property to live upon, were in need. now it might be said that such brethren ought to trust in god; that, if they preach jesus as the only hope for the salvation of sinners, they ought to set them a good example by trusting themselves in god for the supply of their temporal necessities, in order that unconverted persons thereby might be led to trust in the lord jesus alone for the salvation of their souls. this is true, quite true. preachers of the precious good news of salvation to every sinner who puts his trust in the merits of the lord jesus, ought indeed themselves to depend upon god, their lord and father, for the supply of their temporal necessities; but i also felt that i, as their brother, ought to seek to help them as far as lay in me. to this i set myself more than ever after the beginning of the year , as i knew, that, from particular causes, there was an especial call to help such brethren; and as my own means would go but a little way, i gave myself to more earnest prayer than ever for such brethren. the result was, that, during the two years of this period, the lord so answered my _daily_ supplications with regard to this particular, that i was honored to send nearly three times as much to home and foreign laborers as during any previous period of the same length. one thousand five hundred and fifty-nine pounds eleven shillings sixpence was spent in this way, by which twenty-one brethren were assisted who labored in foreign lands, and nineteen who labored in great britain and ireland. large as this sum is, in comparison with what i had been able to do in this particular in former years, yet it is small, very small, in comparison with what my heart desired to be able to do for these forty brethren. it has frequently, yea almost always, so happened, that the assistance which god has allowed me to send to such brethren has come to them _at a time of great need_. sometimes _they had no money at all left_. sometimes _even their last provisions were almost consumed_, when i sent them supplies. some of them are fathers of large families, or have sickly wives and children; some were once well off in this world, but for christ's sake have become poor; and some have had for christ's sake their all taken from them. is it not an honor to help such brethren? i could fill hundreds of pages by giving extracts from the letters of the dear brethren to whom i have sent help, and they would be greatly to the edification of the reader; but i do not feel free to do so. as i have not only been laboring for these brethren in prayer that god would intrust me with means and allow me the privilege of helping them, but as i also have asked god to direct me especially to send to those who might be in particular need, in case i could not help them all; and as i have sought by an encouraging word to strengthen their hands in god; i have great reason to believe that these dear brethren have not only been helped by these pecuniary supplies in a temporal point of view, but also that the fact of god sending them help in their extremity has tended to refresh and strengthen their hearts, and to lead them more and more to trust in him. march , . often of late had i entreated the lord that he would be pleased to condescend to use me still further as a steward, in allowing me to send help to the many dear brethren whom i know laboring at home and abroad without any salary, the need of many of whom i knew. under these circumstances i received this morning one hundred and fifty pounds, with the following lines:-- dear brother: i have great pleasure in sending you one hundred pounds on account of laborers in the lord's vineyard at home and abroad, and fifty pounds for other work in your hands. yours very affectionately, * * * april . i have been praying day by day, ever since i was able during the last month to send about one hundred and thirty pounds to home and foreign laborers, that the lord would be pleased soon again to give me means for them, on account of their great need; indeed, all our means were so exhausted, that i had only just enough for to-morrow evening to meet the weekly expenses connected with the six day schools, when this morning i received one hundred and twenty-five pounds for these objects. almost immediately after this donation had been given to me, i received a letter from demerara about the great need among the brethren who labor there, by which intelligence the seasonable help just received has become still more precious to me. may , . by the lord's faithful love i have been enabled to meet all the heavy expenses connected with _these objects_ during the last two years, amounting to nearly two thousand and six hundred pounds, and at the same time owe no one anything, and have a balance of five pounds nineteen shillings seven pence halfpenny left in hand. ii. the support of the orphans. jan. , . for the whole of this period since may , , therefore nearly eight months, when the accounts were closed, we have had always an abundance of means, and for the greater part of the time about two hundred pounds in hand. the sum of one thousand sixty-five pounds has come in for the orphans in less than eight months, to which is to be added the balance of eighty-five pounds four shillings ninepence three farthings in hand when the accounts were closed. invariably i have thus been able to give to the matrons of the four orphan houses the money in advance, which was required for the necessities of one week. but now, after having paid away last evening forty-five pounds five shillings for the housekeeping of a week in advance and for other expenses, the money which remains in hand is needed for rent, and oatmeal, which has been ordered from scotland. this morning therefore i gave myself particularly to prayer with regard to means for present use for the orphans. how blessed to have the living god to go to! particularly precious to know him in these days of wide-spread distress! potatoes are too dear for food for the orphans at this time. the rice, which we have substituted instead of them, is twice as dear as usual; the oatmeal more than twice as dear, and the bread one half dearer than usual. but the riches of god are as great as ever. he knows that our expenses are great. he knows that a little will not do in these days, when provisions are so dear, as there are about one hundred and fifty persons to be provided for, including teachers and apprentices. my soul is at peace.--_evening._ about noon i received from a pious physician the following note, with a check for five pounds:-- my dear sir: i send you something towards buying bread for the orphans. the dearness of food must be felt by many; but the lord in judgment is nevertheless gracious. he will sustain. i am your sincere friend and well-wisher, * * * * march . this evening, tuesday, i find that since last tuesday evening again forty-four pounds one shilling sixpence three farthings has come in. how good is the lord in helping me week after week through the heavy expenses, especially in this season of deep distress and dearness of provisions! to his praise i can say we have lacked nothing all this winter. whilst preparing these extracts from my journal for the press, i remember to have heard the following remarks made with reference to the time about which i am just now writing, i mean the season of dearth during the winter of - : "i wonder how it is now with the orphans? if mr. müller is now able, to provide for them as he has, we will say nothing." when i heard such like remarks i said nothing except this: "we lack nothing;" or, "god helps us." should this fall into the hands of any who have had such thoughts, let them remember that it is the very time for _faith_ to work, when _sight_ ceases. the greater the difficulties, the easier for _faith_. as long as there remain certain natural prospects, faith does not get on even as easily (if i may say so) as when all natural prospects fail. it is true that during the time of the dearth our expenses were considerably greater than usual; it is also true that many persons, who otherwise might have given, were unable to do so, or had their surplus directed into other channels, such as ireland, etc.; but the gold and silver are the lord's. to him we made our prayer. in him we put our trust. and he did not forsake us. _for we went as easily through that winter as through any winter since the work had been in existence._ nor could it be otherwise; for god had at this very time an especial opportunity of showing the blessedness of trusting in him. seek, dear reader, more and more to put your trust in him for everything, and you will even concerning this life find it most precious so to do. march . i was able, last evening, to meet most comfortably all the expenses for the coming week, yet we had then nothing left, as i put by the rest of the money, that we might not get into debt with regard to the rent, the expenses of the apprentices, etc. when now there was again nothing left for future housekeeping expenses, a christian lady at a considerable distance informed me by this morning's post that she has paid into the hands of messrs. stuckey & co. of bristol, my bankers, the sum of one hundred pounds for my use for the benefit of the orphans. by the same post i have received also ten shillings from droitwich. the lord's holy name be praised for this seasonable help! may . this evening i have been able to meet all the expenses connected with housekeeping during the coming week, through what has come in since may , but at the same time i have nothing left. hitherto the children have lacked nothing. never were provisions nearly so dear since the commencement of the work as they are now. the bread is almost twice as much as eighteen months ago, the oatmeal nearly three times as much as formerly, the rice more than double the usual price, and no potatoes can be used on account of the exceeding high price. may . lord's-day morning. i have just now received, in our great need, when there was not sufficient in hand to meet the necessities of to-morrow, six pounds six shillings, from a christian gentleman of title at zurich in switzerland, a distance of about one thousand miles. what a most seasonable help! thus i am able to send all the remainder of the supplies which are needed till tuesday evening. in these days of straitness the question would naturally arise, if, when you have only to care for one hundred and thirty orphans, you are so poor, what will you do when there are three hundred, for whom you are just on the point of building a house? and, further, is it not an indication not to increase the work, seeing you are now so poor with only about one third of the number of orphans which you purpose to receive into the new orphan house? i am not tried, however, with such thoughts; for i know that, . only for the trial of my faith, as heretofore, the lord allows me now again to be poor. never at any time have the expenses been so great for the work as from may , , to may , ; but also never has so much come in in the same space of time during any other period of this work. . it is for the profit of the church at large that i have now again to pass through these days of poverty. . it is as easy for the lord to supply me with all the means that the work will require when once the new orphan house is opened, as it is for him to give me what i need now, though the expenses in all likelihood will then be two thousand five hundred pounds a year more than they are at present. july . the proceeds of an orphan box from stafford, four pounds seven shillings sixpence. the friend who sent the money wished to know whether it arrived in a time of need. i have had many similar requests, to which i can reply nothing, or say at the most that the answer may be learnt from the next report. it will be easily perceived, on reflection, that if i said it came seasonably, that would imply we had little or nothing at all in hand, and what would that again mean but this, "as our expenses are so great, that which you have now sent will be soon gone again, and therefore send us some more, or get some friend to help us." but by this very thing the chief object of this work, "_to show how blessed it is to deal with god alone, and how blessed to trust in him in the darkest moments_," would be hindered. it is also for this very reason that i do not publish the accounts very frequently, for instance quarterly, as i have been requested to do; but i am delighted to wait a year, or eighteen months, or two years, or more; and even then i do not publish them for the sake of obtaining money (though unquestionably god has used the reports as instruments to procure us means), but for the benefit of the church of god, to refresh, encourage, exhort, and instruct my brethren in christ; and also because it is needful that from time to time i should give a public account of the way in which the considerable sums with which i have been intrusted have been spent. oct. . i left bristol with my dear wife, partly because both of us much needed change of air, and partly because i had a great desire to labor in the word for a few weeks in westmoreland and cumberland. i was not able to leave more means than enough for about three days for housekeeping expenses. but i could not have stayed in bristol, though there had been nothing at all in hand; my hope was that god would help during my absence. during all the time of my stay at bowness in westmoreland, from oct. to nov. , there was day by day, with the exception of the first three days after my departure, need to wait upon god for daily supplies for the orphans. in consequence of this, _every donation, without exception, which was received during my absence, came in most seasonably_. partly on account of my health, and partly on account of opportunities for service in westmoreland and elsewhere, i did not feel it right to return to bristol sooner than i did, though there was such great poverty; nor could i have done anything in bristol which i could not do in westmoreland, as it regards procuring means, since prayer and faith are all the means i make use of to obtain supplies when we are in need. dec. . the need of to-day was eleven pounds. this sum the lord gave me thus: last evening i received one pound, together with a pair of trousers and gaiters, and a remnant of fustian for the orphans. but as i knew how much there would be needed to-day, i waited further upon the lord this morning for help, and, in one minute after i had risen from my knees, i received a letter from liverpool with ten pounds for the orphans. the donor writes: "i have had the inclosed ten-pound note in my drawer for some time, intending to send it to you for the orphans; but my time is so occupied that at a suitable time when at my desk i have overlooked it. i now, however, inclose it," etc. how seasonable this help! how exactly _to the very shilling_ what is needed to-day! how remarkable that _just now_ this donor in liverpool is led to send the ten pounds which had been, according to his own words, for some time in his drawer for the purpose of sending it! all this abundantly proves _the most minute and particular providence_ of god, and his readiness to answer the supplications of his children. dec. . when this day began, i was without anything for the necessities of the day, though i had reason to believe that several pounds would again be required. i was therefore again looking out for fresh supplies. accordingly, about ten o'clock this morning, a brother in the lord, who had come last evening to stay for a night in my house, gave me ten pounds, to be used as it might be most needed. to be noticed in connection with this donation is: . i had, not long since, received a donation from him. . this brother had generally stated how he wished his donations to be appropriated, and they had been chiefly for missionary purposes; but this time he left it to me to use this money, as most needed, and therefore i could take of it what was needed for the orphans. : i was now extremely poor also with regard to the funds for all the other objects, so that i was obliged to tell the teachers of the day schools last tuesday evening, th, that if no fresh supplies came in, i should not be able to give them their weekly salaries, as usual, next tuesday evening, being now poorer in this particular than i had been for years. how kind therefore of the lord, not only to give me this money through this brother at this time, but also to dispose his heart to leave the application of it to me as most needed. i took half of it for this day's housekeeping expenses for the orphans, and half for the school fund, for the weekly salaries of the teachers next tuesday. i also received further this morning a half sovereign from droitwich. the little that was left, after the housekeeping expenses were met, was put by for rent and the expenses for the apprentices, and i was again without a penny, looking out for fresh supplies for to-morrow. dec. , . the last day of another year had now come. great and many had been the mercies of god to me this year in every way, particularly also in connection with the orphans; but now i had again nothing for to-day, except two shillings which are in one of the boxes in my house. i was, however, by god's grace, able to look out for supplies for this last day of another year also, being fully assured that the lord would not confound me. and thus it has been, according to my expectation; for, before i was called on for money, i received one hundred pounds, which was left to me to apply to any part of the lord's service where there seemed the most need. feb. , . this morning, on my walk before breakfast, i felt myself led out of my usual track into a direction in which i had not gone for some months. in stepping over a stile i said to myself: "perhaps god has a reason even in this." about five minutes afterwards i met a christian gentleman who gave me two sovereigns for the orphans, and then i knew the reason why i had been led this way. feb. . the reader might say, "_you are continually in need. no sooner is the one demand met, than another comes. do you not find it a trying life, and are you not tired of it?_" my reply is, it is true i am more or less continually in need in connection with this work. and if i were to tell out all my heart to the reader concerning it, he would have still more reason to say that i am continually in need. for what i have here written is almost exclusively about the way in which god has been pleased to supply me with _money_ for carrying on the work; but i do deliberately state that this, much as it might appear to one or the other, is by no means the chief thing that i stand in need of from day to day. i will just hint at a few other things. sickness among the children, very difficult and tedious cases, in which, notwithstanding all the means which are used month after month, yea, year after year, the children remain ill. nothing remains but either to keep them, or to send them to the parish union, to which they belong, as they have no relatives able to provide for them. the very fact of having cared for them and watched over them for years only endears them the more to us, and would make it the more trying to send them back to their parish. this is a "need" which brings me to god. here is prayer required, not only for means which such sick children call for, but for guidance and wisdom from on high. sometimes children are to be placed out as servants or apprentices. a suitable place is needed, or else they had better remain under our care. the obtaining of this suitable place is a "need" indeed. it is more difficult to be obtained than money. sometimes for many weeks have i had to wait upon god to have this "need" supplied; but he has always at last helped. sometimes great has been my "need" of wisdom and guidance in order to know how certain children ought to be treated under particular circumstances; and especially how to behave towards certain apprentices or servants who were formerly in the orphan houses. a "need" in this respect is no small thing; though i have found that in this and in all other matters, concerning which i was in "need," i have been helped, provided i was indeed able to wait patiently upon god. that word, "godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come," ( tim. iv. ,) i have in times almost without number found to be true in my own experience. further, when one or the other of the laborers needed to leave the work on account of health, or for other reasons, i have been at such times in far greater "need" than when i required money for the various objects of the institution. i could only have such "need" supplied by waiting upon god. i could do nothing but speak to my heavenly father about this matter, and he has always helped. one of the greatest difficulties connected with this work is to obtain suitable godly persons for it; so many things are to be taken into the account. suitable age, health, gift, experience, love for children, true godliness, a ready mind to serve god in the work and not themselves, a ready mind to bear with the many trials and difficulties connected with it, a manifest purpose to labor, not for the sake of the remuneration, but to serve god in their work; surely, to obtain godly persons, in whom these qualifications even in some measure are found combined, is not an easy matter. not that any one will suppose me to mean that i am looking out for perfect fellow-laborers. not that any one will suppose that my fellow-laborers are referred to by me as if they were without weaknesses, deficiencies, and failings. i am myself far, very far from being without weaknesses, deficiencies, and failings. moreover, i never expect to find fellow-laborers for this work who have not their weaknesses; but _this i do mean to say_, that the work of god in my hands is of that character, and, by god's grace, is really carried on with such a true purpose to serve god thereby (however much i and my fellow-laborers may fail), that it is with me a matter of deep moment to find truly suitable individuals for it, in whom, as much as possible, the above qualifications should be found united. and, however much there may be wanting, this is more and more my aim, that i may obtain _such_ helpers; and hence it can be easily perceived how great my "need" must be again and again on this very account. i do here especially advise, that if any should apply in future for situations in connection with this work, they would keep these remarks before them; for, by god's grace, it is my purpose never to give to any persons a situation in connection with the institution, if they are not suitable for it according to the light which god gives me. further, that the laborers work happily together among themselves, and that i go on happily in service with them; that i be their servant, on the one hand, and yet, on the other, maintain the place which god has given me in this work; surely, if any one carefully looks at this, he will at once see that there is a difficulty and a "need" far greater than any that is connected with _money_. o, how these matters lead one to call upon god! how they continually make one sensible of one's "need!" truly, i am in need, in continual need. i might refer to many more points, in connection with this work, in which i am more or less continually in "need;" but i will only mention one. it is now many years since i have made my boast in the living god in so public a manner by my publications. on this account satan unquestionably is waiting for my halting, and if i were left to myself i should fall a prey to him. pride, unbelief, or other sins would be my ruin, and lead me to bring a most awful disgrace upon the name of jesus. here is then a "need," a great "need." i do feel myself in "need," in great "need," even to be upheld by god; for i cannot stand for a moment if left to myself. o that none of my dear readers might admire me, and be astonished at my faith, and think of me as if i were beyond unbelief! o, that none of my dear readers might think that i could not be puffed up by pride, or in other respects most awfully dishonor god, and thus at last, though god has used me in blessing hitherto to so many, become a beacon to the church of christ! no, i am as weak as ever. i need as much as ever to be upheld as to faith, and every other grace. i am therefore in "need," in great "need;" and therefore help me, dear christian reader, with your prayers. i allow, then, most fully that i am in continual "need." this is the case with regard to money matters, because the work is now so large. a few hundred pounds go but a little way. there have often been weeks when my demands have been several hundred pounds a week, and it can therefore easily be supposed that, even if large donations come in, they do not last long. but whilst i allow this, i desire that the christian reader may keep in mind that there are other necessities, and even greater ones than those connected with _money_. should, however, the reader say that he thinks "_i must find this a very trying life, and that i must be tired of it_," i beg to state that he is entirely mistaken. i do not find the life in connection with this work a trying life, but a very happy one. it is impossible to describe the abundance of peace and heavenly joy that often has flowed into my soul by means of the fresh answers which i have obtained from god, after waiting upon him for help and blessing; and the longer i have had to wait upon him, or the greater my need was, the greater the enjoyment when at last the answer came, which has often been in a very remarkable way, in order to make the hand of god the more manifest. i do therefore solemnly declare that i do not find this life a trying life, but a very happy one, and i am consequently not in the least tired of it. straits and difficulties i expected from the very beginning. before i began this service i expected them; nay, the chief object of it was, that the church at large might be strengthened in faith, and be led more simply, habitually, and unreservedly to trust in the living god, by seeing his hand stretched out in my behalf in the hour of need. i did, therefore, expect trials, great trials and straits; but cheerfully, for the glory of god, and the profit of god's dear children, did i desire to pass through them, if only the saints might be benefited by the dealings of god with me. the longer i go on in this service, the greater the trials of one kind or another become; but at the same time the happier i am in this my service, and the more i am assured that i am engaged as the lord would have me to be. how then could i be tired of carrying on the work of god on such principles as i do? iii. the new orphan house on ashley down. up to may , , £ , , s. ½d. had been received toward building the new orphan house. july , . for about three months my faith and patience have been exceedingly tried about the field which i have purchased for the building of the orphan house, as the greatest difficulties arose about my possessing the land after all; but, by god's grace, my heart was kept in peace, being fully assured that if the lord were to take this piece of land from me _it would be only for the purpose of giving me a still better one; for our heavenly father never takes any earthly thing from his children except he means to give them something better instead_. but in the midst of all this great trial of faith i could not but think, judging from the way in which god so manifestly had given me this piece of land, that the difficulties were only allowed _for the trial of my faith and patience_. and thus it was. last evening i received a letter by which all the difficulties were removed, and now, with the blessing of god, in a few days the conveyance will be made out. july . the reason why, for several months, there had come in so little for the building fund, appeared to me this, that we did not need the money at present; and that when it was needed, and when my faith and patience had been sufficiently tried, the lord would send more means. and thus it has proved; for to-day was given to me the sum of two thousand and fifty pounds, of which two thousand pounds is for the building fund, and fifty pounds for present necessities. it is impossible to describe my joy in god when i received this donation. i was neither excited nor surprised; for _i look out_ for answers to my prayers. _i believe that god hears me._ yet my heart was so full of joy that i could only _sit_ before god, and admire him, like david in sam. vii. at last i cast myself flat down upon my face, and burst forth in thanksgiving to god, and in surrendering my heart afresh to him for his blessed service. july . this morning a gentleman from devonshire, on his way to london, called on me. when he came i was just in prayer, having, among other matters, brought also before the lord the following points: . i had been asking him for some supplies for my own temporal necessities, being in need. . i had asked him for more means for the building fund, and besought him to hasten the matter, on account of the inhabitants in wilson street, on account of the welfare of the children and those who have the oversight of them in the orphan houses, and lastly that i might be able to admit more orphans, the number of applications being so great. . i had also asked the lord for means for present use for the orphans, as the outgoings are so great. . i had asked for means for the other objects. when i saw this gentleman from devonshire, he gave me twenty pounds, of which ten pounds is to be used for the building fund, five pounds for present use of the orphans, two pounds for brother craik and myself, and the remaining three pounds were left to my disposal, which i applied to the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. thus i received, _at the very moment that i had been asking god_, four answers to my prayers. nov. . i am now led more and more to importune the lord to send me the means which are requisite in order that i may be able to commence the building. because, . it has been for some time past publicly stated in print that i consider it is not without ground that some of the inhabitants of wilson street consider themselves inconvenienced by the orphan houses being in that street, and i long therefore to be able to remove the orphans from thence, as soon as possible. . i become more and more convinced that it would be greatly for the benefit of the children, both physically and morally, with god's blessing, to be in such a position as they are intended to occupy, when the new orphan house is built. and, . because the number of very poor and destitute orphans, that are waiting for admission, is so great, and there are constantly fresh applications made. now whilst, by god's grace, i would not wish the building to be begun one single day sooner than it is his will; and whilst i firmly believe that he will give me, in his own time, every shilling which i need; yet i also know that he delights in being earnestly entreated, and that he takes pleasure in the continuance in prayer, and in the importuning him, which so clearly is to be seen from the parable of the widow and the unjust judge. luke xviii. - . for these reasons i gave myself again particularly to prayer last evening, that the lord would send further means, being also especially led to do so, in addition to the above reasons, because there had come in but little comparatively since the th of last month. this morning between five and six o'clock i prayed again, among other points, about the building fund, and then had a long season for the reading of the word of god. in the course of my reading i came to mark xi. : "what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." the importance of the truth contained in this portion i have often felt and spoken about; but this morning i felt it again most particularly, and, applying it to the new orphan house, said to the lord: "lord, i believe that thou wilt give me all i need for this work. i am sure that i shall have all, because i believe that i receive in answer to my prayer." thus, with the heart full of peace concerning this work, i went on to the other part of the chapter, and to the next chapter. after family prayer i had again my usual season for prayer with regard to all the many parts of the work, and the various necessities thereof, asking also blessings upon my fellow-laborers, upon the circulation of bibles and tracts, and upon the precious souls in the adult school, the sunday schools, the six day schools, and the four orphan houses. amidst all the many things i again made my requests about means for the building: and now observe: about five minutes after i had risen from my knees, there was given to me a registered letter, containing a check for three hundred pounds, of which two hundred and eighty pounds are for the building fund, ten pounds for my own personal expenses, and ten pounds for brother craik. the lord's holy name be praised for this precious encouragement, by which the building fund is now increased to more than six thousand pounds. dec. . it is now four hundred days since day after day i have been waiting upon god for help with regard to the building of the orphan house; but as yet he keeps me still in the trial of faith and patience. he is still saying, as it were, "mine hour is not yet come." yet he does sustain me in continuing to wait upon him. by his grace my faith is not in the least shaken; but i am quite sure that he, in his own time, will give me everything which i need concerning this work. _how_ i shall be supplied with the means which are yet requisite, and _when_, i know not; but i am sure that god will help me in his own time and way. in the mean time i have abundant reason to praise god that i am not waiting on him in vain; for since this day twelvemonth he has given me, in answer to prayer, a most suitable piece of ground, and six thousand three hundred and four pounds for the building fund, and about two thousand seven hundred pounds for present use for the work, so that altogether i have received, since this day twelvemonth, solely in answer to prayer, the sum of nine thousand pounds. surely, i am not waiting upon the lord in vain! by his help, then, i am resolved to continue this course unto the end. dec. . to-day i have again a precious proof that _continuing_ to wait upon the lord is not in vain. during this month comparatively little had come in for the building fund; yet, by god's grace, i had been enabled, as before, yea, even with more earnestness perhaps than before, to make known my requests unto god, being more and more convinced that i ought to seek by earnest prayer soon to be able to begin the building. in addition to this i had also especially besought the lord to give me means for missionary brethren, and also for brethren who labor in the word in various parts of england and ireland, as all my means for them were now gone. i had also been waiting upon god for means to order a fresh stock of tracts. i had lastly again and again besought the lord to give me means for the poor saints in bristol, of whom there are many, and whose need is now particularly great. now to-day the lord has granted me precious answers to my requests concerning these various objects, for i received this morning one thousand pounds, with these words: "i send you some money, part of which you can apply to the orphans and the other objects of your institution, according to their need, and the rest you can put to the building fund. at the present price of provisions your expenses must be large for the orphans. please also take twenty-five pounds for your own need." january , . the season is now approaching when building may be begun. therefore with increased earnestness i have given myself unto prayer, importuning the lord that he would be pleased to appear on our behalf, and speedily send the remainder of the amount which is required, and i have increasingly, of late, felt that the time is drawing near when the lord will give me all that which is requisite for commencing the building. all the various arguments which i have often brought before god i brought also again this morning before him. it is now fourteen months and three weeks since day by day i have uttered my petitions to god on behalf of this work. i rose from my knees this morning in full confidence not only that god _could_, but also _would_, send the means, and that soon. never, during all these fourteen months and three weeks, have i had the least doubt that i should have all that which is requisite. and now, dear believing reader, rejoice and praise with me. about an hour after i had prayed thus, there was given to me the sum of two thousand pounds for the building fund. thus i have received altogether £ , , s. ½d. towards this work. i cannot describe the joy i had in god when i received this donation. it must be known from experience in order to be felt. four hundred and forty-seven days i have had to wait upon god before the sum reached the above amount. how great is the blessing which the soul obtains by _trusting in god_ and _by waiting patiently_. is it not manifest how precious it is to carry on god's work in this way, even with regard to the obtaining of means? from dec. , , to jan. , , being thirteen months and a half, i have received, solely in answer to prayer, nine thousand two hundred and eighty-five pounds. add to this what came in during that time for present use for the various objects of the institution, and the total is about twelve thousand and five hundred pounds, entirely the fruit of prayer to god. can it be said, therefore, with good ground, that this way of carrying on the work of god may do very well in a limited and small way, but it would not do on a large scale? the fact brought out here contradicts such statements. june . this day the lord in his great goodness, by a donation of one thousand pounds for the building fund, has again encouraged my heart abundantly to trust in him for all that which i shall yet need to meet the remainder of the expenses connected with the fitting up and furnishing the new orphan house, etc. april , . the total amount which i have received for the building fund is £ , , s. ½d. this sum enables me to meet all the expenses connected with the purchase of the piece of land and with the erection of the house. i stated before that i did not mean to commence the building until i had all the means requisite for it, and this intention was carried out. it was not until i had a sufficient amount of means to meet all the sums required for the various contractors that a single thing was done; but when i once had as much as was required for them, i did not consider it right to delay any longer, though i saw then clearly, and have since seen still more clearly, that i should need yet a considerable sum to complete the work. for whilst in every respect the building will be most plain and inexpensive, yet, it being intended to be the abode of three hundred orphans, with all their teachers and overseers, it necessarily must be a very large building, and was therefore found to be even somewhat more expensive than i had thought, as the whole (including fittings and furniture) cannot be accomplished for less than fourteen thousand five hundred pounds, towards which the lord has already given me, as stated, eleven thousand and sixty-two pounds four shillings elevenpence halfpenny. the sum still needed is required for all the ordinary fittings, the heating apparatus, the gas fittings, the furnishing the whole house, making three large play-grounds and a small road, and for some additional work which could not be brought into the contracts. i did not think it needful to delay commencing the building, though several thousand pounds more would be required, as all these expenses needed not to be met till many months after the beginning of the building. the work of the building commenced on july , . six hundred and seven days i sought the help of god day by day, before we came so far as to be able to commence the building; yet at last he gave me the desire of my heart. iv. miscellaneous points respecting the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. . during the whole of this period six day schools, with children, were supported by the funds of the institution; two sunday schools were entirely supported by it, and a third one was occasionally assisted. again, four from among the sunday-school children were, during these two years, received into church fellowship. the total number of the children who received instruction in the day schools of the institution, from its commencement up to may , , amounted to , . the number of the adult scholars who were instructed during this period in the adult school, which was supported by the funds of the institution, amounted to ; and the total number of adults who had instruction from march , , to may , , was , . the total of the expenses connected with all these schools, during these two years, amounted to £ , s. ½d. . during this period were circulated bibles and new testaments. there were circulated from march , , up to may , , , bibles and , new testaments. during this period, £ , s. d. was expended of the funds of the institution on this object. . from may , , to may , , was expended of the funds of the institution on missionary objects, £ , , s. d., whereby laborers in the gospel, at home and abroad, were assisted. . during this period , tracts were circulated, and the sum of £ , s. d. was expended on this object of the funds of the institution. the total number of tracts circulated from nov. , , to may , , amounted to , . . there were received into the four orphan houses, from may , , to may , , orphans, who, together with those who were in the four houses on may , , made up in all. on may , , there were orphans in the four houses. the number of the orphans under our care from april, , to may , , was . the total amount of expenditure in connection with the support of the orphans from may , , to may , , was £ , , s. d. i notice, in connection with the orphan houses, that _without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me_, the sum of £ , , s. ¾d. was given to me _as the result of prayer to god_ from the commencement of the work up to may , . this sum includes the £ , , s. ½d., which up to may , , had been given towards the building fund. it may be interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which was given as free contributions for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , was £ , , s. ¾d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payment of the children in the day schools, amounted to £ , , s. ½d. v. personal history. dec. , . during this year there have been received into fellowship . the lord has been pleased to give me during this year £ , s. d. to this is again to be added, what i have enlarged on in a former chapter, that during the whole of this year also my daughter was, free of all expenses, at a boarding-school, worth about fifty pounds. in november, , i had a most remarkable deliverance, which, to the praise of the lord, is here recorded, as it is a further illustration of how the lord watches over his children. i was laboring for a little while at bowness and keswick in the ministry of the word, in october and november. when at keswick, i stayed with my dear wife in a large boarding-house, in which, however, we were then alone, except a single gentleman. just before we left keswick, on the morning of nov. , i heard that the gentleman, lodging in the same house, had shot himself during the night, but was not quite dead. we had not heard the report of the pistol, it being a very stormy night and the house large. two days after, i received from a christian brother at keswick the following information respecting the transaction. keswick, nov. , . dear mr. mÜller: the tender and almighty care of our loving father was never more over _you_, and indeed over all of us, than in your stay at mrs. ----'s. mr. ---- was quite deranged for two or three days before you left. without any control, he had been walking about his room for the last two days and nights, with loaded pistols in his hands. furthermore, he had taken into his head that you were going to kill him. how gracious of god that he spread his wings over you, and over dear mrs. müller, so that satan could not break through the fence, to hurt even a hair of your heads. speaking after the manner of men, there was nothing to have hindered him coming into the room, where we were all at tea,[ ] and of firing amongst us; but the lord was our refuge and fortress, and preserved us from danger, which we knew not of. he shot himself in the neck and breast, but is not dead. he has a strait-waistcoat on. i assisted in cutting his clothes off, and in other little offices needed at such a time, and told him of christ's love in dying for poor sinners. "i know it," he said. he shot himself the first time about three o'clock in the morning, and again about seven. what a scene his room presented; pistols lying in gore; bloody knives, lancets, and razors strewed about the floor, etc. [footnote : the evening before my departure i had invited a number of believers to tea, to spend some time together in prayer, reading the holy scriptures, and in intercourse on spiritual subjects.] i add an extract from a second letter, written by the same christian brother, because it shows still further how very merciful the lord was to us at that time, in protecting us. mr. ---- is still alive, and has been removed by his friends into yorkshire. it appears, insanity is in his family, his father being at this time in an asylum. it is evident that he had the pistols in his pockets, but of this no one knew until after the occurrence took place. i do not know what time of night you went to bed, but i judge it was about ten. if so, it was at ten o'clock mr. ---- came down from his bedroom, after having been there six hours. it was a mercy you did not meet him, as it is plain that he had loaded pistols on his person. dec. , . there have been received into fellowship, during this year, ; and altogether, since mr. craik and i began laboring in bristol, , , besides the whom we found in fellowship. during this year the lord has been pleased to give me £ , s. ½d. to this is again to be added the free education of my dear daughter, at a boarding school, worth to us at least fifty pounds. in april, , i was enabled, by the help of the lord, to complete all the arrangements for the publication of the narrative of the lord's dealings with me, in the french language; and about september of the same year the book appeared, under the following title: "exposé de quelques-unes des dispensations de dieu envers georges müller. paris, librairie protestante, rue tronchet, ." chapter xix. continued mercies. - . humble beginnings--devising liberal things--the orphans provided for--a memorable day--money "at interest"--means from an unexpected source--the progress of the new orphan house--means provided for its completion--inexpressible delight in god--review of the two years past. on the th of may, , i had on hand for the bible, tract, missionary, and school funds of the scriptural knowledge institution, five pounds nineteen shillings sevenpence one farthing; a sum so small, that, without the help of god, i could not have gone on even for a few days; for during this period our average expenditure for one single day, merely for this part of the work, was as much as the whole balance left in hand. now see how god carried me through, in meeting the expenditure of the thousands of pounds which were laid out for these objects, irrespective of the orphan work, from may , , to may , . on the very next day, after the accounts were closed, may , , i received from westmoreland five pounds, being the first donation during this period towards this part of the work, of which sum one half was intended by the donor for the current expenses of the orphans, and the other half for these objects. on the following day, may , was anonymously put into the chapel boxes for missions one shilling sixpence, and twopence. now it happened so that all the expenses, connected with these objects, during the first two days amounted only to about three pounds, which i was able to meet by what had come in and the balance left in hand; and on may i received one hundred pounds. as the application of this sum was left to me, i took one half of it for the orphans, and the other half for these objects. thus i was supplied with means to meet the expenses which came on me the following day, may , when i had to pay the weekly salaries of the teachers in the day schools. june . great has been my desire, and many have been my prayers to god, that he would be pleased to condescend to use me still further, in allowing me the privilege of helping brethren who labor in the word and doctrine, at home and abroad, without any salary, as i have been able to do but very little for them comparatively during the last four months. now at last, in answer to my prayers, i have received this morning one hundred and sixty pounds for home and foreign laborers. the lord may see it needful, for the trial of our faith, to seem for a season not to regard our supplications; yet, if we patiently and believingly continue to wait upon him, it will be manifest, in his own time and way, that we did not call upon him in vain. july . my soul has been longing for further supplies for home and foreign laborers, to whom i have sent of late all i could. almost all the letters which i have received from the brethren, to whom i have sent money, have shown to me their great need. some were in the greatest necessity when my remittances were received by them. under these circumstances a donation of one hundred and seventeen pounds two shillings sevenpence came in this morning, of which i took fifty pounds for these objects, and sixty-seven pounds two shillings sevenpence for the orphans. nov. . only a few shillings were left in my hands on tuesday evening, the th instant, towards the weekly salaries of the teachers, for the coming week. also, almost all the tracts are again gone, and it is nearly four weeks since i paid out the last money i had in hand for missionary objects. as to this latter point, my heart had been especially longing to be able to send again help to home and foreign laborers, knowing how very great the need of many is. thus i was situated with regard to means, when i received to-day one thousand pounds. since march , , i have received above forty-four thousand pounds altogether [up to may , , only]; and so has the lord enlarged the work and helped me that during the last three years i have had the privilege of paying away in his service, in connection with this work, about twenty-five thousand pounds; nor have i had during this period, in any one instance, to meet a payment without being previously provided by the lord with means for it. if it pleased the lord to condescend to use me further in this way, he could so order it that even a still larger field of labor were intrusted to me, which would require still greater sums. truly, it must be manifest to all simple-hearted children of god, who will carefully read the accounts respecting this institution, that he is most willing to attend to the supplications of his children who in their need cry to him; and to make this manifest is the great object i aim at, through the means of this institution. jan. , . the new year commences, even as to this part of the work, with new mercies. there was given to me one hundred and sixty pounds, to be used as might be most needed. jan. . during this month i had been especially led to send much assistance to home and foreign laborers. also in other respects the expenses for _these_ objects had been considerable. on this account the funds for them had been reduced to about eighty pounds when i received this evening four hundred and fifty pounds, of which the donor kindly wished me to take fifty pounds for my own personal expenses, to give to brother craik fifty pounds, and to use the other as might be most needed. may . the work is now large, the outgoings great. during the month were again expended about five hundred pounds for the various objects of the institution, nor have i any prospect that the expenses will decrease; yea, _i have no desire that they should_. i have as great satisfaction, as much joy, in writing checks for large amounts upon my bankers, as i have joy in paying over to them checks, or bank orders, or large notes, which i receive from the living god, by means of donors, for this work. for the money is of no more value to me than as i can use it for god; and the more i can pay out for the work of god, the more prospect i have of being again supplied by him; and the larger the sum is which i can obtain from him, in answer to prayer only, the greater the proof of the blessedness and the reality of this mode of dealing directly with the living god for what i need; therefore, i say, i have as much joy in giving out as in receiving. i have been devoting myself, for instance, with all my might, and expending much exertion both of body and mind, but especially by laboring in spirit to have the orphan house filled with children, not only that thus three hundred destitute orphans, none of whom have either father or mother, might be lodged, boarded, clothed, instructed, and in every way cared for, bodily, mentally, and spiritually; _but also in order that thus large sums might be needed and expended_, and i might have a greater call than ever to draw largely upon the inexhaustible treasures of god. that i do not mean, in thus speaking, to say that money so obtained by prayer may be wasted, will scarcely need to be noticed; for if any one would obtain means from god by prayer only, and then waste them, he would soon find that he was not able to pray in faith for further supplies. * * * * * when the accounts were closed, on may , , i had on hand for the orphans a balance of one pound ten shillings three and three-fourths pence. with this amount then we began, whilst day by day above one hundred and thirty persons were to be provided for in the four orphan houses in wilson street. on the very next day, after the accounts were closed, may , , i received from westmoreland five pounds, half of which sum was intended by the donor for the orphans, and half for the other objects. this donation i took as an earnest out of the hands of the living god, that during the whole of this period also he would provide for these many orphans, as he had done in former years. nov. . up to date the wants of the orphans have been supplied as heretofore. yesterday, only five shillings sixpence came in. to-morrow more money will be needed for housekeeping. in this our poverty i received this morning one thousand pounds. the money being left to my disposal as it might be most needed, i took of it six hundred pounds for the building fund, three hundred pounds for missionary purposes and the circulation of bibles and tracts, and one hundred pounds for present use for the orphans. i have thus the means which are yet needed for this week's housekeeping expenses, besides being able to meet other heavy expenses which are before me next week. feb. , . for three months and ten days, since nov. , , the donations had always come in so that we abounded during the whole period, there having been always fresh donations received before all the money in hand was disbursed. the total amount that came in during this period was four hundred and sixty-nine pounds fourteen shillings tenpence. now to-day there was no money in hand for advancing the amount needed for the next week's housekeeping. all the money in hand was due for rent, and therefore unavailable, as i never go into debt for anything. in this our need there was given to me this afternoon the sum of two hundred pounds, which was left to my disposal for fitting up the new orphan house, or for any of the objects in connection with the scriptural knowledge institution that might be in need. as, however, i have all the means for fitting up and furnishing the new orphan house, as far as i know, and as there is no money in hand for the present use of the orphans, i took one hundred pounds for that object. march . the new orphan house is now nearly ready. on this account we have to get in large supplies for the children's clothes. within the last few days i have ordered thousands of yards of material for this purpose, and thousands more will need to be ordered, besides providing a stock of many other things. for this large sums are needed. under these circumstances i received to-day a donation of three hundred pounds, to be used for the building fund, or the current expenses of the various objects, just as it might be most required. as i judge that we have all that is needed for the fitting up and furnishing of the house, and as there is more in hand than usual for the missionary objects, the circulation of bibles and tracts, and for the various schools, and as we have only about sixty pounds for present use for the orphans, towards meeting all the heavy expenses before us, i took the whole of this donation for the orphans, as the donor has kindly left the disposal of the money entirely to me. this donation coming in just now has been an exceedingly great refreshment to my spirit; for it is at the commencement of the great increase of our expenses, in connection with the three hundred orphans, instead of one hundred and twenty, like an earnest from god that he will supply us also with means when the demands for the three hundred will be more than twice as great as they are now. through this donation i have means to meet all the expense which will be incurred in getting in for the new establishment the stores of provisions, soap, material for clothes, haberdashery, and of the many other articles of which it would be desirable to buy our supplies on wholesale terms. the lord be praised for his kindness! june . to-day, as the fruit of the prayers of three years and seven months, the children began to be moved from the four orphan houses in wilson street, bristol, into the new orphan house. june . saturday evening. this has been indeed a week of great and many and peculiar mercies. all the orphans with their teachers and overseers have been moved into the new orphan house during monday, tuesday, wednesday, and thursday; so that there are now about one hundred and forty persons under one roof. the lord has most signally helped. as i had for more than three years sought the help of god concerning all matters connected with the new orphan house, i did expect his help in this particular also; but he has done beyond my expectations. though only the day before yesterday the last children were moved in, there is already such a measure of order established in the house, by the help of god, as that things can be done by the minute hands of the timepieces. his name is to be praised for this, and my soul does magnify him for his goodness! also with regard to temporal supplies for the dear orphans, the lord has been exceedingly kind. on the second day of receiving the children, there was sent twenty pounds. on the third day, an individual who walked with me through part of the house said, "these children must consume a great deal of provisions," and, whilst saying it, took out of his pocket a roll of bank of england notes to the amount of one hundred pounds, and gave them to me for the orphans. on the same evening i had also sent for the orphans a very large cask of treacle, and for their teachers and overseers six loaves of sugar. also a cooper made gratuitously two large new casks for treacle. on the next day i received information that about one thousand pounds of rice had been purchased for the orphans, which should be sent. besides this, several small donations have come in. so bountifully has the lord been pleased to help of late, that i have not only been able to meet all the extraordinary heavy expenses connected with moving the orphans from wilson street into the new orphan house, filling the stores of the new orphan house, etc.; but i have more than five hundred pounds in hand to begin housekeeping in the new orphan house. how true that word that those that trust in the lord shall not be confounded! after all the many and long-continued seasons of great trial of faith within these thirteen years and two months, during which the orphans were in wilson street, the lord dismisses us from thence in comparative abundance. his holy name be praised for it! aug. . received a fifty-pound note with these words: "i send you herewith a fifty-pound note, half for the missions, half for the orphans, unless you are in any personal need; if so, take five pounds for yourself. this will be the last large sum i shall be able to transmit to you. almost all the rest is already _out at interest_." i took half of this fifty pounds for the orphans, and half for missionaries. the writer sold some time since his only earthly possession, and sent me at different times sums of one hundred and twenty pounds, of one hundred pounds, of fifty-five pounds, of fifty pounds, and of twenty pounds for the work of the lord in my hands. when he says, therefore, "the rest is already out _at interest_," he means that he has given it away for the lord, which indeed both for time and eternity is the very best way of using the means with which the lord may be pleased to intrust us, in so far as, considering in the fear of god all our various claims and duties and relationships, we may do so. as this is written for the spiritual profit of the reader, i cannot but add to this extract from my journal under aug. , , that since that time i have received other donations from the same donor, and much larger still. he used for god the means with which he was pleased to intrust him, and, contrary to this brother's expectation, the above fifty pounds was not the last large donation; for it pleased god soon after to intrust him with another considerable sum, which he again used for the lord. this did not at all surprise me; for it is the lord's order that, in whatever way he is pleased to make us his stewards, whether as to temporal or spiritual things, if we are indeed acting as _stewards_, and not as _owners_, he will make us stewards over _more_. jan. , . to-day was sent to me from the committee of the cholera fund in bristol, twenty pounds, which the gentlemen constituting it had voted for the benefit of the twenty children who had lost their parents in the cholera, and whom i had received into the new orphan house. i had not applied either directly or indirectly for this money; indeed, i was reluctant even to give information as to the number of cholera orphans whom i had received, lest there should be even the appearance as if after all i asked for money, instead of solely trusting in the living god. but some of the gentlemen on the committee, i understand, knowing the fact that i had received many orphans, made such by means of the cholera, proposed that there should be paid to the institution a sovereign on account of each such child whom i had received. this sum was especially remarkable to me as a fresh proof of the numberless ways which god has at his command for providing me with means. i also cannot help noticing the remarkable coincidence that, at the time that god visited this land with the cholera, in , i had so much room for the reception of orphans. the lord was pleased to allow me the joy and sweet privilege of receiving altogether twenty-six children, from ten months old and upward, who lost their parents in the cholera _at that time_, and many besides, since then, who were bereaved of their parents through this fearful malady. at the time when i last referred to the _progress_ of the new orphan house, it was being built. a part of it was already roofed in, and the remainder was to be roofed not many weeks afterwards. but how much did there yet remain to be done in other respects! a building so considerable as to contain about three hundred large windows would require, even after it was finished, an immense amount of labor to be fitted up and furnished for three hundred and thirty persons. then, after this was done, the settling in of the orphans and their teachers, and other overseers, needed still more abundant help. further, the obtaining of suitable helpers for this part of the work was indeed no small matter. lastly, though the lord had been pleased to give me already above eleven thousand pounds for the new orphan house, yet i needed several thousand pounds more, in order to bring the whole into such a state as might render the building fit for the reception of the orphans. and now, in looking back, and finding that i not only was helped in _all_ these matters, but also _in every one of them_ far beyond my largest expectations, does it not become me to say to those who love the lord jesus, and into whose hands this account may fall: "o magnify the lord with me, and let us exalt his name together!" each one of the foregoing difficulties which still existed on the th of may, , was so great, that if only one of them had remained, and i had not been helped, what would have been the result? but while the prospect before me would have been overwhelming had i looked at it _naturally_, i was never, even for once, permitted to question what would be the end. for as, from the beginning, i was sure _that it was the will of god_ that i should go to the work of building for him this large orphan house, so also, from the beginning, i was as certain that the whole would be finished as if the building had been already before my natural eyes, and as if the house had been already filled with three hundred destitute orphans. i was therefore of good courage in the midst of an overwhelming pressure of work yet to be done, and very many difficulties yet to be overcome, and thousands of pounds yet needed; and i gave myself still further to prayer, and sought still further to exercise faith on the promises of god. and now the work is done, the difficulties are overcome, all the money that was needed has been obtained, and even more than i needed; and, as to helpers in the work, i have obtained even beyond my expectations and prayers. nearly seven years have passed away ( ) since the new orphan house was opened, and about three hundred and thirty persons sit down in it day by day to their meals. * * * * * up to may , , i had received altogether towards meeting the expenses connected with the building of the new orphan house the sum of eleven thousand and sixty-two pounds four shillings elevenpence halfpenny. aug. . it is this day a twelvemonth since the foundation stone of the new orphan house was laid, and now the building is up, and almost entirely roofed in. also part of the inside plastering is already done. how can my soul sufficiently magnify the lord for all the help which he has been pleased to give since this day twelvemonth! as we are now so far advanced, i have been increasingly entreating god that he would be pleased to give me the means which are yet requisite for fitting up and furnishing the house; for even now i am completely depending upon him for considerable sums to accomplish this. but while much is still needed, i have never had, by god's grace, the least misgiving as to his willingness to give me all i need; on the contrary, i have been assured that, when i actually required the money for the fittings and the furniture, it would come. and now this day the lord has again proved to me how willing he is to act according to my faith; for there was given to me this morning eight hundred and eighty-seven pounds, under the kind condition that i should take of it twenty pounds for my own personal expenses, and the rest might be used for the building fund, or the present need of the various objects of the institution, as it appeared best to me. nov. . to-day the lord has helped still more abundantly. i have received a donation of one thousand pounds, to be used for the building fund and the present necessities of the work generally, as the various objects of the institution might require it. jan. , . the time is now near when further steps are to be taken to fit up and furnish the house, as more than two thirds of the rooms are all but ready. under these circumstances i have prayed the more earnestly, day by day, that the lord would be pleased to give me the means which are yet needed; and as my heart has been assured from the beginning, and all through these three years and two months, since i first began to pray about this subject, that god would in every way help me in this work, so i have also been particularly satisfied that he would be pleased to provide the means which may be required to meet all the heavy expenses which yet remain to be met. now, to-day i have had again a precious answer to my daily supplications with reference to this work; for i received this evening six hundred pounds, concerning which it was desired that brother craik and myself should each take of it fifty pounds for ourselves; the remaining five hundred pounds was left entirely to my disposal; yet an especial reference was made to the heavy expenses connected with fitting up and furnishing the new orphan house, towards which i might, either in part or entirely, take this sum. feb. . the new orphan house is now almost entirely finished. in six weeks, with the help of god, all will be completed. on this account i have been during the last fortnight much occupied in making the necessary arrangements for fitting it up and furnishing it; but the more i have been occupied about this, the more i have seen how large a sum the whole of the fittings and the furniture will require; and this consideration has led me still more earnestly of late to entreat the lord that he would be pleased to give me the means which may yet be needed for the completion of the whole. under these circumstances a brother in the lord came to me this morning, and after a few minutes' conversation gave me two thousand pounds, concerning which sum he kindly gave me permission to use it for the fitting up and furnishing of the new orphan house, or for anything else needed in connection with the orphans. i have placed the whole of this sum, at least for the present, to the building fund. now, dear reader, place yourself in my position. eleven hundred and ninety-five days it is since i began asking the lord for means for the building and fitting up of an orphan house. day by day have i, by his grace, since that time, continued to bring this matter before him. without one moment's doubt, or misgiving, or wavering, have i been enabled to trust in god for the means. from the beginning, after i had once ascertained the will of god concerning this work, have i been assured that he would bring it about; yea, as sure have i been from the beginning that he would do so, as if i had already had all the means in hand for it, or as if the house had been actually before me, occupied by the children. but though to faith even three years ago the whole work was accomplished, to sight there remained many and great difficulties to be overcome. and even at the commencement of this day there remained many difficulties in the way of means, as well as in other respects; and therefore i was on the point of giving myself again especially to prayer, at the very moment when i was informed that the donor of the above-mentioned two thousand pounds had called to see me. now i have the means, as far as i can see, which will enable me to meet all the expenses; and in all probability i shall have even several hundred pounds more than are needed. thus the lord shows that he can and will not only give _as much as is absolutely needed_ for his work, but also that he can and will give _abundantly_. it is impossible to describe the real joy i had in god when i received this sum. i was calm, not in the least excited, able to go on immediately with other work that came upon me at once after i had received the donation; but inexpressible was the delight which i had in god, who had thus given me the full answer to my thousands of prayers, during these eleven hundred and ninety-five days. i have thus given a few out of the hundreds of donations, varying from one farthing to two thousand pounds, as specimens, to show how the lord was pleased to furnish me with the means. the total amount which came in for the building fund was fifteen thousand seven hundred and eighty-four pounds eighteen shillings tenpence. after all the expenses had been met for the purchase of the land, the conveyance of the same, the enrolment of the trust-deeds in chancery, the building, fitting up, and furnishing of the new orphan house, there remained a balance of seven hundred and seventy-six pounds fourteen shillings threepence three farthings, affording a manifest proof that the lord cannot only supply us with all we need in his service, simply in answer to prayer, but that he can also give us even more than we need. * * * * * during the whole of the two years ending may , , five day schools, with children in them, were entirely supported by the funds of this institution; and some pecuniary assistance was rendered to four other day schools. also a sunday school, with children, was entirely supported, and another was occasionally assisted. lastly, an adult school, with adult scholars, was supported during this period. there was expended on these various schools £ , s. ½d., during these two years. the number of all the children that were taught in the day schools, through the medium of this institution, from march , , to may , , amounted to , ; the number of those in the sunday schools amounted to , ; and the number of the persons in the adult school to , . in all, , . from may , , to may , , were circulated bibles, and new testaments. there was expended on this object, during this period, of the funds of the institution, £ , s. d. there were circulated altogether from march , , to may , , , bibles, and , new testaments. from may , , to may , , were spent £ , , s. d. of the funds of the institution for missionary objects, whereby forty preachers of the gospel in british guiana, the east indies, switzerland, france, germany, canada, scotland, ireland, and england, were assisted. the reader will notice how greatly this object of the institution was increased during the last four years previous to may , . this arose from the fact that, in the early part of , the need of certain brethren who labored in the word and doctrine came before me, and god laid them on my heart to labor for them in prayer, in order that i might obtain means from him for such brethren to a greater extent than i had done before. ever since then the lord has been pleased increasingly to use me in this way. for from may , , to may , , there was spent for that object nearly three times as much as during any former period of the same length; and during the period from may , , to may , , i was not only allowed to do as much as before, but to expend even £ , , s. more than during the former period, notwithstanding all the many heavy additional expenses for the various other objects of the institution. it is my sweet privilege to state that the labors of many of these forty servants of the lord, whom i assisted, were especially owned of god during these two years. there took place very many conversions through their instrumentality. from may , , to may , , the sum of £ , s. ½d. was expended on the circulation of tracts. there were circulated during this period , tracts. the total number which was circulated from nov. , , up to may , , amounted to , . from july , , up to may , , altogether orphans were received, from ten months old and upwards. on may , , there were, therefore, orphans in the new orphan house; and with the teachers, overseers, nurses, and in-door and out-door servants, etc., the whole number of persons connected with the establishment was . the total number of orphans who were under our care from april, , up to may , , was . _without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me_, the sum of £ , , s. ¼d. was given to me for the orphans, _as the result of prayer to god_, from the commencement of the work up to may , . it may be also interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which was given as free contributions, for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , amounted to £ , , s. ¾d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the schools, up to may , , amounted to £ , , s. ½d. the total of the current expenses for the orphans from may , , to may , , was £ , , s. d., and the total of the current expenses for them from may , , to may , , was only £ , , s. ¾d., _i. e._ only about £ , more than the previous year. as to matters connected with my own personal affairs, from may , , to may , :-- dec. , . during this year the lord was pleased to give me £ , s. d. to this is again to be added, for this year also, as before stated, the free education of my daughter at a boarding-school, worth at least £ . dec. , . the lord sent me, during the past year, £ , s. d. chapter xx. a new victory of faith. - . past mercies an encouragement to new undertakings--a house for seven hundred orphans proposed--walking by faith--counsel sought from god--the purpose formed--delight in the magnitude and difficulty of the design. december , . it is now sixteen years and nine months this evening since i began the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. this institution was in its beginning exceedingly small. now it is so large that i have not only disbursed, since its commencement, about fifty thousand pounds sterling, but that also the current expenses, after the rate of the last months, amount to above six thousand pounds a year. i did "open my mouth wide," this very evening fifteen years ago, and the lord has filled it. the new orphan house is now inhabited by three hundred orphans; and there are altogether three hundred and thirty-five persons connected with it. my labor is abundant. the separation from my dear wife and child is great, on account of my being the greater part of the day at the new orphan house; sometimes also by night. but notwithstanding all this, i have again and again thought about laboring more than ever in serving poor orphans. within the last ten days this matter has much occupied my mind, and for the last five days i have had much prayer about it. it has passed through my mind to build another orphan house, large enough for seven hundred orphans, so that i might be able to care for one thousand altogether. the points which have led me to this thought are: . the many distressing cases of children, bereaved of _both_ parents, who have no helper. i have received two hundred and seven orphans within the last sixteen months, and have now seventy-eight waiting for admission, without having vacancies for any. i had about sixty children waiting for admission about sixteen months since, so about two hundred and thirty children have been applied for within these sixteen months. but, humanly speaking, for the next sixteen months the number of applications will be far greater, as the work is now so much more widely known; except it be that persons may hear that the new orphan house is quite full, and on that account may consider it useless to apply. . the constitution of most other charitable institutions for orphans makes the admission of a really destitute orphan, _i. e._ a child bereaved of _both_ parents, and _without an influential friend_, very difficult, if not hopeless; for the admission by means of the votes of the donors precludes _really poor_ persons from having, in most instances, the benefit of these institutions, as they cannot give the time nor expend the money necessary for obtaining such votes. i have myself seen that certain candidates had several thousand votes. the necessity of this arrangement being continued may be much regretted by many who are connected with such institutions, but they have no power to alter it. in our case, nothing is needed but application to me; and the _very poorest person, without influence, without friends, without any expense_, no matter where he lives, or of whatever religious denomination, who applies for children born in lawful wedlock, bereaved of _both_ parents, and in destitute circumstances, may procure their admission. now, as the new poor-law is against giving relief to relatives for orphan children out of the poor-houses; and as there is such a difficulty for really poor people to get their orphan relatives admitted into ordinary orphan establishments; i feel myself particularly called upon to be the friend of the orphan, by making an easy way for admission, _provided it is really a destitute case_. . the confidence which god has caused thousands of his children to repose in me calls upon me to make use of it to the utmost of my power, and to seek yet more largely to be their almoner. . the experience which i have had in this service now for fifteen years, during which time i have gone from the smallest commencement of the work to the having at present three hundred orphans under my care, calls upon me to make use of this my experience to the utmost of my power. no member of a committee, no president of a society, could possibly have the same experience, except he himself had practically been engaged in such a work for a number of years, as i have been. . this very experience makes things light to me, under god's help, which were difficult to me formerly, and which would be very difficult now to many: might i not therefore proceed still further? . if seven hundred more young souls could be brought under regular godly training (and their number would be renewed from time to time), what blessed service for the kingdom of christ, and what profitable expenditure of labor, too, with the blessing of god, even for this realm, in a civil and moral point of view! . but that which outweighs every one of these six reasons is, lastly, this: i began this orphan work fifteen years ago for the very purpose of illustrating to the world and to the church that there is verily a god in heaven who hears prayer; that god is the living god. now, this last object is more and more fully accomplished the larger the work is, provided i am helped in obtaining the means simply through prayer and faith. but whilst such like thoughts have passed through my mind, there are others of another character. for instance: . i have already an abundance of work. . my dear wife has already an abundance of work. her whole time, with little intermission (except for prayer and reading of the word of god), is occupied, directly or indirectly, about the orphans. . am i not undertaking too much for my bodily strength and my mental powers, by thinking about another orphan house? . am i not going beyond the measure of my faith in thinking about enlarging the work so as to double or treble it? . is not this a delusion of satan, an attempt to cast me down altogether from my sphere of usefulness, by making me to go beyond my measure? . is it not also, perhaps, a snare to puff me up, in attempting to build a very large orphan house? under these circumstances i can only pray that the lord in his tender mercy would not allow satan to gain an advantage over me. by the grace of god my heart says,--lord, if i could be sure that it is thy will that i should go forward in this matter, i would do so cheerfully; and, on the other hand, if i could be sure that these are vain, foolish, proud thoughts, that they are not from thee, i would, by thy grace, hate them, and entirely put them aside. my hope is in god; he will help me and teach me. judging, however, from his former dealings with me, it would not be a strange thing to me, nor surprising, if he called me to labor yet still more largely in this way. the thoughts about enlarging the orphan work have not arisen on account of an abundance of money having lately come in; for i have had of late to wait for about seven weeks upon god, whilst little, very little comparatively, came in, _i. e._ about four times as much was going out as came in; and, had not the lord previously sent me large sums, we should have been distressed indeed. lord, how can thy servant know thy will in this matter? wilt thou be pleased to teach him? dec. . during the last six days, since writing the above, i have been, day after day, waiting upon god concerning this matter. it has generally been more or less all the day on my heart. when i have been awaking at night, it has not been far from my thoughts. yet all this without the least excitement. i am perfectly calm and quiet respecting it. my soul would be rejoiced to go forward in this service, could i be sure that the lord would have me to do so; for then, notwithstanding the numberless difficulties, all would be well, and his name would be magnified. on the other hand, were i assured that the lord would have me to be satisfied with my present sphere of service, and that i should not pray about enlarging the work, by his grace i could, _without an effort_, cheerfully yield to it; for he has brought me into such a state of heart that i only desire to please him in this matter. moreover, hitherto i have not spoken about this thing even to my beloved wife, the sharer of my joys and sorrows and labors for more than twenty years; nor is it likely that i shall do so for some time to come; for i prefer quietly waiting on the lord, without conversing on this subject, in order that thus i may be kept the more easily, by his blessing, from being influenced by things from without. the burden of my prayer concerning this matter is, that the lord would not allow me to make a mistake, and that he would teach me his will. as to outward things, i have had nothing to encourage me during these six days, but the very reverse; for the income for the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad has been unusually small, only six pounds fourteen shillings altogether, while the outgoings have been one hundred and thirty-three pounds eleven shillings sevenpence. but all this would not weigh the least with me, could i be quite sure that the lord would have me to go forward. the especial burden of my prayer, therefore, is, that god would be pleased to teach me his will. my mind has also been especially pondering how i could know his will satisfactorily concerning this particular. sure i am that i shall be taught. i therefore desire to patiently wait for the lord's time, when he shall be pleased to shine on my path concerning this point. dec. . fifteen days have elapsed since i wrote the preceding paragraph. every day since then i have continued to pray about this matter, and that with a goodly measure of earnestness, by the help of god. there has passed away scarcely an hour during these days in which, whilst awake, this matter has not been more or less before me; but all without even a shadow of excitement. i converse with no one about it. hitherto have i not even done so with my dear wife. from this i refrain still, and deal with god alone about the matter, in order that no outward influence and no outward excitement may keep me from attaining unto a clear discovery of his will. i have the fullest and most peaceful assurance that he will clearly show me his will. this evening i have had again an especial solemn season for prayer, to seek to know the will of god. but whilst i continue to entreat and beseech the lord that he would not allow me to be deluded in this business, i may say that i have scarcely any doubt remaining on my mind as to what will be the issue, even that i should go forward in this matter. as this, however, is one of the most momentous steps that i have ever taken, i judge that i cannot go about this matter with too much caution, prayerfulness, and deliberation. i am in no hurry about it. i could wait for years, by god's grace, were this his will, before even taking one single step towards this thing, or even speaking to any one about it; and, on the other hand, i would set to work to-morrow, were the lord to bid me do so. this calmness of mind, this having no will of my own in the matter, this only wishing to please my heavenly father in it, this only seeking his and not my honor in it; this state of heart, i say, is the fullest assurance to me that my heart is not under a fleshly excitement, and that if i am helped thus to go on i shall know the will of god to the full. but, while i write thus, i cannot but add, at the same time, that i do crave the honor and the glorious privilege to be more and more used by the lord. i have served satan much in my younger years, and i desire now with all my might to serve god during the remaining days of my earthly pilgrimage. i am forty-five years and three months old. every day decreases the number of days that i have to stay on earth. i therefore desire with all my might to work. there are vast multitudes of orphans to be provided for. about five years ago a brother in the lord told me that he had seen, in an official report, that there were at that time six thousand young orphans in the prisons of england. my heart longs to be instrumental in preventing such young orphans from having to go to prison. i desire to be used by the lord as an instrument in providing all the necessary temporal supplies, not only for the three hundred now under my care, but for seven hundred more. i desire to alleviate yet further the sufferings of poor dying widows, when looking on their helpless orphans about to be left behind. i desire yet further to assist poor persons to whom destitute orphans are left, and who are unable to provide for them. i desire to be allowed to provide scriptural instruction for a thousand orphans, instead of doing so for three hundred. i desire to expound the holy scriptures regularly to a thousand orphans, instead of doing so to three hundred. i desire that thus it may be yet more abundantly manifest that god is still the hearer and answerer of prayer, and that he is the living god now, as he ever was and ever will be, when he shall, simply in answer to prayer, have condescended to provide me with a house for seven hundred orphans, and with means to support them. this last consideration is the most important point in my mind. the lord's honor is the principal point with me in this whole matter; and just because that is the case, if he would be more glorified by my not going forward in this business, i should, by his grace, be perfectly content to give up all thoughts about another orphan house. surely, in such a state of mind, obtained by thy holy spirit, thou, o my heavenly father, wilt not suffer thy child to be mistaken, much less to be deluded! by the help of god i shall continue further, day by day, to wait upon him in prayer concerning this thing till he shall bid me act. january , . a week ago i wrote the preceding paragraph. during this week i have still been helped, day by day, and more than once every day, to seek the guidance of the lord about another orphan house. the burden of my prayer has still been, that he in his great mercy would keep me from making a mistake. during the last week the book of proverbs has come in the course of my scripture reading, and my heart has been refreshed, in reference to this subject, by the following passages: "trust in the lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." prov. iii. , . by the grace of god i do acknowledge the lord in my ways, and in this thing in particular; i have therefore the comfortable assurance that he will direct my paths concerning this part of my service, as to whether i shall be occupied in it or not. further: "the integrity of the upright shall preserve them; but the perverseness of fools shall destroy them." prov. xi. . by the grace of god i am upright in this business. my honest purpose is to get glory to god. therefore i expect to be guided aright. further: "commit thy works unto the lord, and thy thoughts shall be established." prov. xvi. . i do commit my works unto the lord; i therefore expect that my thoughts will be established. my heart is more and more coming to a calm, quiet, and settled assurance that the end will be that the lord will condescend to use me yet further in the orphan work. here, lord, is thy servant! jan. . twelve days have passed away since i wrote the last paragraph. i have still day by day been enabled to wait upon the lord with reference to my enlarging the orphan work. i have been during the whole of this period also in perfect peace, which is the result of seeking in this thing only the lord's honor and the temporal and spiritual benefit of my fellow-men. without an effort could i, by his grace, put aside all thoughts about this whole affair, could i be only assured that it is the will of god that i should do so; and, on the other hand, at once would i go forward, if he would have it to be so. i have still kept this matter entirely to myself. though it is now about seven weeks since day by day, more or less, my mind has been exercised about it, and since i have daily prayed concerning it, yet not one human being knows of it. as yet i have not mentioned it even to my dear wife, in order that thus, by quietly waiting upon the lord, i might not be influenced by what might be said to me on the subject. this evening i have particularly set apart for prayer, beseeching the lord once more not to allow me to be mistaken in this thing, and much less to be deluded by the devil. i have also sought to let all the reasons _against_ building another orphan house, and all the reasons _for_ doing so, pass before my mind; and i now, for the sake of clearness and definiteness, write them down. _reasons_ against _establishing another orphan house for seven hundred orphans._-- . would not this be going beyond my measure _spiritually_? according to that word: "for i say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as god has dealt to every man the measure of faith." rom. xii. . answer: if the lord were to leave me to myself, the tenth part of the difficulties and trials which befall me now in connection with the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad would be enough to overwhelm me; but, whilst he is pleased to sustain me, i am able day by day to pass on peacefully, and am carried through one difficulty after the other: and thus, by god's help, even with my present measure of faith, if continued to me, i should be enabled to bear up under other difficulties and trials; but i look for an increase of faith with every fresh difficulty through which the lord is pleased to help me. . would it not be going beyond my measure _naturally_, with reference to mental and bodily strength? answer: of all the objections against establishing another orphan house, there is none that weighs more with me than this one; i might say, it is the only real difficulty. this, however, too, i am enabled to put aside and to overcome thus: by husbanding my strength, by great order, by regular habits, by lightening the work as much as possible, by using every help that i can, i have been enabled to get through a vast quantity of work. my immense correspondence of about three thousand letters a year i have been enabled to accomplish without a secretary. the whole management and direction and the whole vast correspondence of the scriptural knowledge institution has devolved upon myself alone these sixteen years and ten months, and i have been thinking that, by seeking for an efficient secretary, and an efficient clerk, and an inspector of the schools, i might, with god's help, accomplish yet more, though much of what i have been doing hitherto would need to be done by others. there have been several other arrangements brought before my mind, since i have been exercised about this matter, whereby, with the blessing of god, the work might be lightened. i should certainly need efficient helpers to carry out the plans before me; but with such, i, as director, might be enabled, by god's help, to accomplish yet more. . there must be a limit to my work and service. answer: that is true, and if i were quite sure that the present state of the scriptural knowledge institution were to be the limit, i would at once lay aside this thing; but i am not sure that i am come as yet to god's limit. all these sixteen years and ten months the work has been constantly progressing, and the lord has helped me continually; and now my mind is just in the same way exercised as when, fifteen years ago, i began the orphan work, and as when, thirteen years ago, i enlarged the orphan work, and as when, seven years and nine months since, i still further enlarged the orphan work, and as when, five years and two months since, i was led to decide on building the new orphan house. under these circumstances, having been helped through all these difficulties, and seeing such a vast field of usefulness before me, and as i have so many applications for the admission of very destitute orphans, i long to be used still further, and cannot say that as yet the lord has brought me to his limit. . is it not like "tempting god," to think of building another orphan house for seven hundred more orphans? answer: "tempting god" means, according to the holy scriptures, to limit him in any of his attributes; i, by his grace, do not wish to limit his power or his willingness to give to me, his poor servant, simply in answer to prayer, all the means and every other help and blessing which i shall need to build another large orphan house. . you will not get the means for building and fitting up so large an orphan house; and, even if you did, how will you, _at the same time_, get the means for carrying on the work which already exists? answer: looking at the matter _naturally_, this is indeed a weighty objection. the new orphan house, with its three hundred orphans only, cost about fifteen thousand pounds to build and to fit up and furnish, and still the expenses are not all met even now. it will, in all probability, cost several hundred pounds yet. and this large sum was needed, though the style of the building is most simple, and though the field in which it was built was comparatively cheap. after this rate, a building to accommodate seven hundred orphans, with the necessary ground attached to it for the cultivation of the vegetables used in the institution, could not be less than thirty-five thousand pounds. now, looking at it naturally, where is this great sum to come from? though i looked at all my friends who have given hitherto, and several have done so very liberally, yet i should have no natural prospect whatever that i should receive this amount; especially if it be kept in mind that i should need six or seven thousand pounds besides, every year, for carrying on _that which is already in existence_. i might, therefore, well tremble, looking at the matter naturally, and say, i shall never have the money for this intended orphan house for seven hundred children; for where is this large sum of thirty-five thousand pounds to come from? and even if i were to get the money, will not persons, in giving means for such a building fund, take it away from what they might have given me for carrying on the work which exists already? but whilst thus, _naturally_, i have no hope of succeeding, i am not in the least discouraged _spiritually_; for by faith in the living god i say this: he has the power to give me this thirty-five thousand pounds, and much more were it needed; and he has the power, in the mean time, to give me also all the large sums required, week after week, for meeting the current expenses for the present state of the work. moreover, i delight in the greatness of the difficulty as it respects the large sum needed for building and fitting up such an establishment; for i desire to be most fully assured, from the very outset, that i go forward in this matter according to the lord's bidding. if so, he will give me the means; if not, i shall not have them. nor do i mean to apply to any one personally for pecuniary help, but purpose to give myself to prayer for means, as heretofore. . suppose, now, you were even to succeed in getting this large orphan house built, how will you be able to provide for seven hundred other orphans? answer: there is much weight in this objection, looking at it _naturally_. i am too much a man of business, and too much a person of calm, quiet, cool calculation, not to feel its force. and indeed, were i only to look at the thing _naturally_, i should at once be ready to own that i am going too far; for the increase of expenditure for the support of these seven hundred other orphans could not be less than eight thousand pounds a year more, so that the current expenses of the scriptural knowledge institution, reckoning its present state, and including those eight thousand pounds, would be about fifteen thousand pounds a year. now i am free to own that i have no human prospect of obtaining such a sum year by year. but while matters stand thus, looking at them _naturally_, i see no difficulty at all in them _spiritually_. if according to the will of god i am enabled to go about this intended second orphan house; and if, under his help, i shall be enabled to finish it; he will surely provide for those who are gathered together in it as long as he shall be pleased to enable me to trust in him for supplies. and here i look back upon the way in which the lord has led me and dealt with me. when, about seventeen years ago, i took up, in dependence upon the living god for means, two charity schools, with which the scriptural knowledge institution commenced (and this involved an expense of less than one hundred pounds a year), i had no certain prospect of being able to meet even that small sum; but god so helped me that i had shortly _six_ charity schools. he helped me then, also, and enabled me to meet all their expenses. when, fifteen years ago, i began the orphan work, which was connected with far heavier expenses, i had still less prospect, according to natural reason, of being able to meet _them_; but i trusted in god, and he helped me, and he not only enabled me to meet the current expenses of thirty orphans in the first house rented for them, but enabled me also soon to open another for thirty-six more, and i was also enabled to meet all those expenses; for as i had begun in faith in the living god, and not in putting my trust in my brethren in christ, so i was not confounded. after i had gone on some time with these orphans in the two rented houses, about thirteen years ago the lord was pleased greatly to encourage me and to increase my faith by a donation of five hundred pounds for the orphans; for up to that period i had never received more than one hundred pounds at once. but this kind donor, a stranger to me up to that time, suggested to me the propriety of investing this sum and using only the interest of it, as i could not expect to have the orphans supported for a continuance in the way they had been till then; for that such institutions must depend upon regular subscriptions or funded property, otherwise they could not go on. as, however, this was only a friendly hint, and no condition under which the money was given, i took this five hundred pounds towards fitting up a third house, for the reception of thirty more orphans. from that time the work has been increasing more and more, till it has come to what it is at present. now, suppose i had said, seventeen years ago, looking at matters according to natural reason, "the two charity schools are enough, i must not go any further;" then the work would have stopped there. or, if i had had a little more trust in my exertions or my friends, i might have taken at the utmost one or two steps further. instead of this, however, i looked in no degree whatever at things according to my natural fallen reason, and i trusted not in the circle of my christian friends, but in the living god; and the result has been that there have been since ten thousand souls under our instruction in the various day schools, sunday schools, and adult schools; several hundred orphans have been brought up, and many of them from their very tenderest infancy; several hundred thousand tracts and many thousand copies of the word of god have been circulated; about forty preachers of the gospel at home and abroad have been, for several years, assisted in connection with the scriptural knowledge institution; and a house has been built and fitted up for the accommodation of three hundred destitute orphans, each of whom has neither father nor mother. how blessed therefore is it to trust in god, and in him alone, and not in circumstances nor friends! there is, however, one thing which i must record here, because it has taken place since i last wrote in my journal on this subject, on january . it is this. during these twelve days i have received for the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, in smaller donations, sixty-four pounds fifteen shillings sixpence two farthings, also a donation of one hundred and fifty pounds, and one of three thousand pounds. is not this a plain proof that god is both able and willing to help simply in answer to prayer? is not human reason confounded by such instances? when i first began to write these exercises of my mind about another orphan house, i knew not that on january , i should receive a donation of three thousand pounds; yet i was fully assured that god was able to support one thousand orphans as easily as he did the thirty whom i first received in a rented house. does he not, however, tell me by all this, go forward, my servant, and i will help thee? . but, it might be said, suppose you were able by prayer to obtain this large sum for building a house for seven hundred other orphans; and suppose you were able to provide for them during your lifetime,--what would become of this institution after your death? answer: i am quite familiar with this objection. i have heard it many times as a reason against the way of obtaining the means for the scriptural knowledge institution, simply by trusting in god, without any funded property, and without looking to regular subscribers; but my reply is this. my business is, with all my might to serve my own generation; in doing so i shall best serve the next generation, should the lord jesus tarry. soon he may come again; but, if he tarry, and i have to fall asleep before his return, i shall not have been altogether without profit to the generation to come, were the lord only to enable me to serve my own generation. suppose this objection were a sound one, i ought never to have commenced the orphan work at all, for fear of what might become of it after my death, and thus all the hundreds of destitute children without father and mother, whom the lord has allowed me to care for during the last fifteen years, would not have been taken up by me. the same argument was again and again used to franké, my esteemed countryman, who at hallé, in prussia, commenced, about a. d. , the largest charitable establishment for poor children that, as far as i know, exists in the world. he trusted in god alone. he went on trusting in god alone. and god helped him throughout abundantly. simply by trust in the living god, the institutions, resembling a large street rather than a house, were erected, and about two thousand children instructed in them. for about thirty years all was going on under his own eye, until , when it pleased god to take his servant to himself. at his death these institutions were directed by his truly pious son-in-law. it is true that, at the latter part of the last century, and during the first part of the present, there was little real vital godliness in these institutions; still, they were a temporal blessing to many tens of thousands of young persons even then. so then for several tens of years they were carried on in a truly godly way, after franké's death, and when afterwards there was but little real, vital godliness found in these schools, yet tens of thousands of children were benefited at least for this life. now these institutions have existed already one hundred and fifty years, and are in existence still; and, if the lord jesus tarry, are likely, humanly speaking, to exist hereafter, as they have existed hitherto. suppose, then, that dear man of god, a. h. franké, had listened to the suggestions of unbelief, and said, i must not undertake this work, for what will become of it after my death?--then all the blessing which spiritually resulted from it to thousands, and all the temporal benefits which have resulted from it to hundreds of thousands, would have been lost. i add, however, this. the new orphan house has been placed in the hands of eleven trustees, and has been properly enrolled in chancery, and so also, should god condescend to honor me further in building for him this intended house for seven hundred orphans, it would likewise be placed in the hands of trustees and enrolled in chancery. i say one word in conclusion on this subject: let every one take heed lest, in caring about what will become of the next generation, he forget to serve his own generation. the latter, each one should seek to do with his might, and thus it should be with each succeeding generation; then, though we be dead, yet should we be speaking. a. h. franké is long since gone to his rest, but he spoke to my soul in , and he is speaking to my soul now; and to his example i am greatly indebted in having been stirred up to care about poor children in general, and about poor orphans in particular. . the last objection which has occurred to my own mind is, that, by building another orphan house, i should be in danger of being lifted up. answer: i should be in danger of it indeed; and so i am in great danger, even were i not in the least degree to go forward. yea, the tenth part of the honor which the lord has condescended to bestow upon me, and the tenth part of service with which he has been pleased to intrust me, would be enough, if i were left to myself, exceedingly to puff me up. i cannot say that hitherto the lord has kept me humble; but i can say that hitherto he has given me a hearty desire to give to him all the glory, and to consider it a great condescension on his part that he has been pleased to use me as an instrument in his service. i do not see, therefore, that fear of being lifted up ought to keep me from going forward in this work; but that i have rather to beseech the lord that he would be pleased to give me a lowly mind, and never suffer me to rob him of the glory which is due to him alone. _reasons_ for _establishing another orphan house for seven hundred orphans._-- . the many applications for the admission of destitute orphans which continue to be made, i consider as a call from god upon me to do all that is in my power to provide a home and scriptural education for a still greater number of orphans. nothing but positive inability to go forward ought to keep me standing still, whilst i have almost daily fresh entreaties to receive orphans. since i began writing on this subject in my journal, thirty more orphans have been applied for, from two years old and upward. i cannot refuse to help, as long as i see a door open, and opened by god, as i consider, to help them. . the moral state of the poor-houses greatly influences me to go forward. i have heard it again and again, from good authority, that children, placed at the unions, are corrupted, on account of the children of vagrants, and other very bad young people, who are in such places; so that many poor relatives of orphans, though unable to provide for them, cannot bear the idea of their going there, lest they should be corrupted. i therefore judge that, even for the sake of keeping orphans of poor yet respectable people from being obliged to mix with the children of vagabonds, i ought to do, to my utmost power, all i can to help them. for this reason, then, i purpose, in dependence upon the living god, to go forward and to establish another orphan house for seven hundred destitute children, who are bereaved of both parents. when i write thus about the poor-houses, i do not wish to be understood in the way of reproof: for i know not how these matters could be altered; but i simply state the fact that thus it is. . in this my purpose i am the more confirmed, since i know it to be a fact that the orphan houses already in existence in the kingdom are by no means sufficient to admit _even the most deserving and distressing cases_, and far less all that it would be well to provide for. moreover, there is great difficulty connected with the admission of an orphan into most of the ordinary orphan establishments, on account of the votes which must be obtained, so that _really_ needy persons have neither time nor money to obtain them. does not the fact that there were six thousand young orphans in the prisons of england about five years ago call aloud for an extension of orphan institutions? by god's help i will try to do what i can to keep poor orphans from prison. . in this purpose i am still further encouraged by the great help which the lord has hitherto given me in this blessed service. when i look at the small beginning, and consider how the lord has helped me now for more than fifteen years in the orphan work; and when i consider how he has been pleased to help me through one great difficulty after another; and when i consider, especially, how, as with an unseen hand, i might say almost against my will and former desires and thoughts, he has led me on from one step to another, and has enlarged the work more and more,--i say, when i review all this, and compare with it my present exercise of mind, i find the great help, the uninterrupted help which the lord has given me for more than fifteen years, a great reason for going forward in this work. and this, trusting in him, i am resolved to do. . a further reason for going forward in this service i see in the experience which i have had in it. from the smallest commencement up to the present state of the establishment, with its three hundred orphans, all has gone through my own hands. in the work itself i obtained the experience. _it_ has grown _with the work_. i have been the sole director of the work, under god, from its smallest commencement. now this is not an every-day case. no committee member of a society, no president or vice-president of an institution, except they had been situated as myself, could have this experience. coupled with this is the measure of gift which the lord has been pleased to give me for such work, and for the exercise of which i am responsible to him. these things, in connection with the former reasons, it appears to me, are a call from god to go forward in a greater degree than ever in this work. . the spiritual benefit of still more orphans is another especial reason with me why i feel called to go forward. the orphans who have been under my care hitherto were almost all the children of parents who were naturally weak in body, if not consumptive. the very fact of a child being deprived of _both_ parents when four, five, six, or seven years old, shows that, except the parents lost their lives by casualty, they were constitutionally weak. on this account young orphans, generally speaking, require particular care as to their health. in this respect i desire to care for them; but there is more than that to be attended to. i further heartily desire to keep them from the corrupting and demoralizing effect of the lowest sort of children in the streets and courts and unions. but i desire more for them than mere decency and morality; i desire that they should be useful members of society, and that the prisons of the united kingdom should not be filled with poor, destitute, and homeless orphans; and we bring them up therefore in habits of industry, and seek to instruct them in those things which are useful for the life that now is. but i desire more than this for the orphans. i cannot be satisfied with anything concerning them short of this, that their souls be won for the lord. for this reason i long to have them from their early days, yea, the younger the better, under my care, that thus, under the care of godly nurses and teachers, they may be brought up from their earliest days in the fear of the lord. now, as this is the chief and primary aim concerning the dear orphans, even the salvation of their souls through faith in the lord jesus, i long to be more extensively used than hitherto, even that i may have a thousand of them instead of three hundred under my care. . but there is one point which weighs more strongly with me than even the last mentioned one. it is this: when i began the orphan work more than fifteen years ago, it was for the definite and especial purpose that, by means of it, the unconverted might see, through the answers of prayer that i received in connection with it, that there is verily reality in the things of god; and that the children of god might have their faith strengthened by means of it, and might be encouraged, in all simplicity, to deal with god under every circumstance, and trust in him at all times. but if this would be answered in a measure by the state in which the orphan work has been in former times, and more so by what it has been since the erection of the new orphan house, it would be still more so, by the blessing of god, by my going forward in it to a far greater degree than before. this point, even the glory of god in the manifestation of his readiness to hear prayer, has weighed especially and supremely with me in purposing to enlarge the orphan work. . lastly, i am peaceful and happy, spiritually, in the prospect of enlarging the work, as on former occasions when i had to do so. this weighs particularly with me as a reason for going forward. after all the calm, quiet, prayerful consideration of the subject for about eight weeks, i am peaceful and happy, spiritually, in the purpose of enlarging the field. this, after all the heart-searching which i have had, and the daily prayer to be kept from delusion and mistake in this thing, and the betaking myself to the word of god, would not be the case, i judge, had not the lord purposed to condescend to use me more than ever in this service. i therefore, on the ground of the objections answered, and these eight reasons for enlarging the work, come to the conclusion that it is the will of the blessed god that his poor and most unworthy servant should yet more extensively serve him in this work, which he is quite willing to do. up to this day, jan. , , i have not spoken to one human being about it. as yet even my dear wife knows not about it. i purpose to keep the matter still for some time entirely to myself, dealing with god alone about it, in order that no outward excitement may be in the least degree a stimulus to me. i still pray to be kept from mistake and delusion in this thing; not that i think i am mistaken or deluded, quite the reverse, but yet i would distrust myself and cling to god, to be kept from mistakes and delusions. jan. . for several weeks past i have now had no doubt that the lord would have me to serve him in the erection and fitting up of another orphan house for seven hundred orphans, and i am quite decided on doing so, under his help; and i am now quiet about it, not because i have the least misgiving in my own mind, but because i know that it is most suitable that i should still for some time continue to deal quietly with god alone about it. march . nearly five weeks have passed away since i wrote the last paragraph, and my mind has not been once during this time, even for a moment, in uncertainty as to what i ought to do. it is now about fifteen weeks since i have been especially praying about this subject, and three months since i began first to write on the subject in my journal, and about ten weeks since i have had any doubt as to what is the will of the lord concerning this service. i believe that, altogether unworthy though i am of this great honor, he will condescend to use me further and more extensively than before in caring for destitute children who are bereaved of both parents. and this i purpose to do. may . from the time that i began to write down the exercises of my mind on dec. , , till this day, ninety-two more orphans have been applied for, and seventy-eight were already waiting for admission before. but this number increases rapidly as the work becomes more and more known. on the ground of what has been recorded above, i purpose to go forward in this service, and to seek to build, to the praise and honor of the living god, another orphan house, large enough to accommodate seven hundred orphans. when i published these exercises of my mind, and made known my purpose respecting the intended orphan house for seven hundred orphans, in the twelfth report of the scriptural knowledge institution, the following particulars were added to what has been stated:-- . all this time, though now six months have elapsed since i first began to be exercised about this matter, i have never once been led to ask the lord for means for this work, but have only continued day by day to seek guidance from him as to whether i should undertake it or not. . the means requisite to accomplish the building and fitting up of a house which shall be really suitable for my intended purposes, though the building be quite simple, cannot be less than thirty-five thousand pounds, including fifteen or twenty acres of land round the building for cultivation by the spade, in order to obtain out of our own grounds all the vegetables which are so important to the health of the children. . i do not mean to begin the building until i have the means requisite in hand, just as was the case with regard to the new orphan house. if god will condescend to use me in building for him another orphan house (as i judge he will), he will give me the means for it. now, though i have not on my own mind any doubt left that it is his will that i should do so, which has been stated again and again in the preceding pages; yet there is one point still wanting for confirmation, and that is, that he will also furnish me, without personal application to any one, with all the means requisite for this new part of my service. i am the more needing also to my own soul this last of all the proofs that i have not been mistaken (as i firmly believe i have not been), in order to have unquestionable assurance that, whatever trials hereafter might be allowed to befall me in connection with this work, i did not at my own bidding and according to my own natural desire undertake it, but that it was under the guidance of god. the greatness of the sum required affords me a kind of secret joy; for the greater the difficulty to be overcome, the more will it be seen, to the glory of god, how much can be done by prayer and faith; and also because, when god himself overcomes our difficulties for us, we have, in this very fact, the assurance that we are engaged in his work, and not in our own. chapter xxi. unvarying prosperity. - . desires for more enlarged usefulness gratified--a large donation anticipated and received--review of --personal experience--building fund for the second new orphan house--doubt resisted--waiting on god not in vain--review of . at the commencement of the year beginning with may, , it was my purpose to seek help from the lord that i might be able, in a still greater degree than before, to assist brethren who labor in the gospel at home and abroad, in dependence upon god for their temporal supplies, and to labor more than ever in the circulation of the holy scriptures, and of simple gospel tracts. june . by the sums which came in within the first fifteen days of this period i was able to begin to carry out the purpose i had formed; and as the lord enabled me, without anxious reckoning, to go on giving out as he was pleased to intrust me with means, so again he sent further supplies before all was gone. it is a point of great importance in the divine life not to be anxiously reckoning about the morrow, nor dealing out sparingly on account of possible future wants which never may come; but to consider that the _present_ moment to serve the lord only is ours, and that the morrow may never come to _us_. april , . during the whole of the current year, up to this date, the lord has so abundantly supplied me with means that there came not one single case before me in which it would have been desirable to help, according to the measure of light given to me, or to extend the work, without my having at the same time ample means for doing so. in the midst of the great depression of the times, which was so generally felt, and on account of which, humanly speaking, i also might have been exceedingly tried for want of means, i, on the contrary, at no period of the work for the seventeen years previous had a greater abundance of means. i do on purpose lay stress upon this because i desire that it may become increasingly known that there is no easier, no better, and no happier way in the end than god's way, and this in particular also with regard to the obtaining of means _simply in answer to prayer, without personal application to any one_. at the beginning of the year i had more in hand for the orphans than for many years before, under similar circumstances, the balance for current expenses on may , , being one hundred and fifty pounds seven shillings tenpence. yet, much as this was in comparison with what the balance had generally been before, how small was the amount in reality! about three hundred persons were connected with the new orphan house, who day by day were to be provided with all they needed, besides several apprentices who also were still to be supported. on this account the one hundred and fifty pounds in hand would only furnish that which was needed for about fifteen days, as the average expenses of the orphan work alone were about ten pounds daily. place yourself, therefore, dear reader, in my position. three hundred persons daily at table, and one hundred and fifty pounds in hand! looking at it naturally, it is enough to make one tremble; but trusting in the living god, as by his grace i was enabled to do, i had not the least trial of mind, and was assured that god would as certainly help me as he had done fourteen years before, when the number of the orphans was only the tenth part as large. nov. . for seven weeks the income has been very small, in comparison with what has been expended, both for the orphans and for the various other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. there has come in for the orphans £ , s. ¾d., and for the other objects £ , s. d.; and the expenditure has been for the orphans during these seven weeks £ , s. d., and for the various other objects £ , s. d. therefore altogether £ , s. d. has been expended, whilst the income altogether has been only £ , s. ¾d. we have, of course, not gone into debt, as we never order anything except we have the means in hand for it. nor has there been even the least difficulty experienced with regard to means, as the lord in his kindness had sent in considerable sums just before this season commenced. about three hundred and thirty persons now sit down to their meals in the new orphan house, day by day, and the expenses for the orphans alone are about ten pounds daily, and those for the other parts of the work are also about ten pounds daily, so that i need to receive after the rate of twenty pounds a day, in order to go on with the work; but during these forty-nine days there has been only one single day that i have received about twenty pounds, and for the greater part of the time only a few pounds daily, and sometimes even only a few shillings. but what was to be done under these circumstances? i gave myself to prayer. god, whom i have now been enabled to make my refuge, and my only refuge, for more than twenty years, i have besought day by day. and when now day by day i still have received only small sums, and sometimes nothing or scarcely anything at all, the only effect that it has had upon me has been _to pray the more earnestly_. my confidence in god is not at all shaken. i have never had a thought that he would not help me: nor have i even once been allowed to look upon these seven weeks in any other way than that the lord, for the trial of my faith, has ordered it thus that only so little should come in. i am sure that, when he has tried me sufficiently, there will come in again larger sums. in the mean time, how good has the lord been, not only to have given all i have needed, but i have even now money in hand! and as to our stores in the new orphan house, they are as full as usual. we have at least one hundred and fifty sacks of potatoes in the house, twenty sacks of flour, thirty-three barrels of oatmeal, each containing about two hundred pounds, about three hundred pairs of new shoes (besides about nine hundred pairs in use), about ten tons of coals, a large quantity of soap and rice; and so all other parts of the stores in proportion. indeed, while there has been little coming in, i have just ordered articles in the wholesale way as formerly, when our income was perhaps four or five times as much during the same period. my judgment is, that it will now soon please the lord again to send in larger sums, as he has been pleased to exercise my faith for some time in this way. let me see the result! jan. , . this very day the lord has given me a most precious proof that he delights in our having large expectations from him. i have received this evening the sum of three thousand pounds, being the largest donation which i have had as yet. i now write again that i expect far larger sums still, in order that it may be yet more and more manifest that there is no happier, no easier, and no better way of obtaining pecuniary means for the work of the lord than the one in which i have been led. how great my joy in god is, on account of this donation, cannot be described; but it is not in the least coupled with excitement. i take this donation out of the hands of the living god; i continually look for his help, and am perfectly assured that i shall have it, and therefore is my soul calm and peaceful, without any excitement, though the donation is so large. this donation is, however, like a voice from heaven speaking to me concerning a most deeply important matter respecting which i am seeking guidance from the lord, the building of another orphan house. may . i am brought to the close of this period. the work is more and more enlarging. during the last month i have paid out for the orphans more than four hundred and fifty pounds, and for the other objects more than five hundred pounds, being nearly one thousand pounds during one month; and yet i have a greater balance left in hand, through the lord's kindness, than at the close of any of the previous periods. from may , , to may , , there were four day schools in bristol, with children in them, _entirely supported_ by the funds of the institution; and three others in devonshire, gloucestershire, and norfolk, with children in them, were _assisted_. further, one sunday school in bristol, with children, was entirely supported, and two others in devonshire and gloucestershire, with children, were assisted. lastly, an adult school in bristol, with persons in it, was entirely supported. the expenses connected with all these various schools were, during this period, £ , s. from the formation of the institution, on march , , up to may , , there were , children in the various day schools in bristol alone, , in the sunday school, and , persons in the adult school, besides the thousands in the schools out of bristol which were assisted. there was expended during this period, out of the funds of the institution, on the circulation of the holy scriptures, £ , s. d. there were bibles sold, and given away; and new testaments sold, and given away, during this period. from march , , to may , , there were circulated , bibles and , new testaments. during this year was spent of the funds of the institution, for missionary objects, the sum of £ , , s. d. by this sum forty-five laborers in the word and doctrine in various parts of the world were to a greater or less degree assisted. the total amount of £ , was sent to these forty-five servants of the lord jesus in different sums. during this period £ , s. d. was expended on the circulation of tracts, and , tracts and little books were circulated. i was permitted to send out more tracts than _during the whole of the previous ten years taken together_. nor must it be withheld from the reader, as matter for thankfulness, that the lord was pleased to allow me to hear again and again of instances of conversion, by means of the distribution of these tracts during this period. on may , , there were orphans in the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol. on may , , there were orphans in the new orphan house. the total number of orphans who were under our care from april, , to may , , is . there came in altogether during this year £ , , s. ¼d. for the support of the orphans, and £ , , s. ¾d. for the other objects; and, after having met to the full every demand with reference to the orphans, the balance of £ , s. ¾d. remained in hand. also, after having entered into every door which the lord was please to set before me respecting the other objects, and to do far more than during any one year previously, the balance of £ , s. d. remained in hand on may , . verily we do not trust in the lord in vain! _without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me_, the sum of £ , , s. ½d. was given to me for the orphans _as the result of prayer to god_ from the commencement of the work to may , . it may be also interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which was given as free contributions for the other objects from the commencement of the work to may , , amounted to £ , , s. ¼d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day schools, amounted to £ , , s. ¾d. it pleased the lord greatly to gladden our hearts by the working of his holy spirit among the orphans during this period. dec. , . during this year there have been received into fellowship , and altogether, from the time that brother craik and i began to labor in bristol, , . the lord has been pleased to give me, for my personal expenses, £ , s. d. may , . the reader will remember that i stated in a previous chapter that i purposed, not in dependence upon my christian friends, nor in dependence upon former donors, but alone in dependence upon the living god, to enlarge the orphan work. before i brought before the public what i purposed to do, i gave the record of the exercises of my mind on this subject to a valued christian friend to read, the only one who, besides my family, knew anything of this my intention before it came before the public. i did this particularly in order that, after i had been waiting for several months in secret upon god for guidance and direction concerning it, i might also have the counsel of a prayerful, judicious, and cautious man of god. when this brother returned the manuscript, he spoke to me words of encouragement concerning this purpose, and gave me a half sovereign towards the building fund for this house for seven hundred destitute orphans. this was the first donation, which i received on may , , and which, i confess, was a great refreshment and encouragement to me, the more so as it came from so cautious a brother, and after i had been for several months, through secret prayer, assured that i should go forward. on may , , my intention became publicly known, and in the evening of may i received from a christian lady a sovereign towards the building fund. june . a brother in the lord, who gives his donations with the letter "p.," gave me ten shillings. i also received a sovereign. this evening i received still further four half crowns, with very encouraging words and expressions of joy that i have been led to this purpose of building another orphan house for seven hundred more orphans. there came to hand, also anonymously, three shillings. ditto an old shilling, a small american coin, and two shillings. also from a christian servant in clifton two shillings sixpence. june . twenty-four days have now passed away since i have been enabled, day by day, to wait with a goodly measure of earnestness and in faith upon the lord for means; but as yet only a little above twenty-eight pounds has come in. but i am not discouraged. the less there comes in, the more earnestly i pray, the more i look out for answers, and the more assured i am that the lord, in his own time, after he has tried my faith, will send me larger sums, and, at last, all i need. aug. . day by day i am waiting upon the lord for means for this object, and generally more than once a day am i bowing my knees before god with reference to it. moreover, of late i have been enabled, with increasing earnestness, to beseech the lord that he would be pleased to send in means for the building fund. my soul has been all along at peace, though only so little, as yet, comparatively, has come in (in all, one hundred and twenty-seven pounds nineteen shillings ninepence); and though satan has in the most subtle way sought to shake my confidence, and to lead me to question whether, after all, i had not been mistaken concerning this whole matter. yet, though he has aimed after this, to the praise of god i have to confess that he has not been allowed to triumph. i have especially besought the lord of late that he would be pleased to refresh my spirit by sending in some large donation for this part of the work. under these circumstances i received this morning five hundred pounds for the new building. i was not in the least excited. i look out for means. _even that very moment_, when i received this donation, i was looking out for means, for large donations; and i should not have been surprised if five thousand pounds had come in, or more. the lord be praised for this precious encouragement, which has still further quickened me for prayer! sept. . patience and faith are still called for, and, by god's grace, my desire is to "let patience have her perfect work." not one penny has come in to-day for the building fund, but five more orphans have been applied for, so that now forty in less than one single month have been brought before me, all bereaved of _both_ parents, and all very destitute. under these circumstances, how can i but fervently labor in prayer that the lord would be pleased to intrust me with means for the building another orphan house for seven hundred orphans. the more i look at things according to natural appearances and prospects, the less likely is it that i should have the sum which is needed; but i have faith in god, and my expectation is from him alone. from the beginning i depended upon him only concerning this proposed enlargement of the work, and therefore have i not been disappointed, though as yet only the fortieth part of what is needed has come in (eight hundred and eighty-two pounds eighteen shillings sevenpence halfpenny). but how soon, how very soon can the lord alter the aspect of things. even this very evening, while i am writing, he could give me many thousand pounds. i continue, therefore, to wait upon god, and seek to encourage my heart by his holy word, and, while he delays giving me answers, to be occupied in his blessed service. of this, however, my soul has not the least doubt, that, when the lord shall have been pleased to exercise my soul by the trial of faith and patience, he will make bare his arm, and send help. the fact that the applications for the admission of destitute orphans are so many, does both quicken me to prayer, and is also a great encouragement to me that the lord will give me the desire of my heart, to provide another home for these destitute, fatherless and motherless children. march , . day by day i am waiting upon god for means. with full confidence, both as to the power of the lord to give me the means, and likewise his willingness, i am enabled to continue to wait. but he is pleased to exercise my faith and patience, and especially has this been the case of late. not more than twenty-seven pounds eleven shillings has come in during the last four weeks for the building fund. yet, amidst it all, by the help of god, my heart has been kept looking to the lord, and expecting help from him. now to-day my heart has been greatly refreshed by a donation of nine hundred and ninety-nine pounds thirteen shillings fivepence. i cannot describe to any one how refreshing this donation is to my spirit. after having been for weeks, day by day, waiting upon the lord, and receiving so little comparatively, either for current expenses or for the building fund, this answer to many prayers is exceedingly sweet to my spirit. may . there remained in hand from the _former_ building fund the balance of £ , s. ¾d., which i added to the _present_ building fund, so that on the evening of may , , i had altogether £ , , s. ¼d. _supplies for the school, bible, missionary, and tract fund, sent in answer to prayer from may , , to may , ._--at no time during the past eighteen years did i begin a new period with so much money in hand as was the case at the commencement of this. there was a balance of £ , s. d. left for _these_ objects. long before this balance was expended, however, the lord was pleased to send in further supplies; so that during all the year there did not come before me one single instance in which, according to my judgment, it would have been desirable to help forward schools or missionary objects, or the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, but i had always the means in hand for doing so. _supplies for the support of the orphans sent in answer to prayer from may , , to may , ._--when this period commenced, i had in hand for the current expenses for the orphans £ , s. ¾d. we had never had so large a balance for the other objects at the commencement of any new period as was the case at the commencement of this, and so it was also with regard to the orphan work. but though there was this large balance to begin with, dependence upon god was still required day by day, as the _pecuniary_ help is only a very small part of that which is needed; and even as to means, this sum would not have lasted long, had the lord not sent in further supplies. this, however, he did; and thus it was that while there were other trials, varied and many, yet, as to means, we experienced scarcely any difficulty at all. during the period from may , , to may , , there were _entirely supported_ by the funds of the institution four day schools in bristol, with poor children in them, and three others in devonshire, monmouthshire, and norfolk, were _assisted_. further, one sunday school in bristol, with children, was entirely supported, and two others in devonshire and gloucestershire, with children, were assisted. lastly, one adult school in bristol, with adult scholars, was entirely supported during this period. from march , , up to may , , there were , children in the day schools in bristol, , in the sunday school, and , grown-up persons in the adult school. there was expended of the funds of the institution, for these various schools, during this period, £ , s. d. during this period there was expended of the funds of the institution £ , s. d. for the purpose of circulating the holy scriptures, especially among the very poorest of the poor. there were issued during this period , bibles and new testaments. there were altogether circulated from march , , up to may , , , bibles, and , new testaments. during this year there was spent of the funds of the institution, for missionary objects, the sum of £ , , s. d. by this sum fifty-one laborers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, were to a greater or less degree assisted. there was laid out for the circulation of tracts, from may , , to may , , the sum of £ , s. ½d. there were circulated during the year , tracts. the total number of tracts which were circulated from the beginning up to may , , was , , . on may , , there were orphans in the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol. from that day up to may , , there were admitted into it orphans. the total of the expenses connected with the support of the orphans, from may , , to may , , was £ , , s. d. the total number of orphans who were under our care from april, , to may , , was . _without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me_, the sum of £ , , s. d. was given to me for the orphans _as the result of prayer to god_ from the commencement of the work up to may , . it may be also interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which was given as free contributions, for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , amounted to £ , , s. ¼d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day schools, amounted to £ , , s. ¾d. besides this, also, a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, etc., were given for the use of the orphans. several of the orphans who left the establishment during this year went away as believers, having been converted some time before they left; one also who died gave very decided evidence of a true change of heart by faith in our lord jesus; several who in former years were under our care, as we heard during this year, took their stand openly on the lord's side, and dated their first impressions to the instructions received whilst under our care; and, lastly, of those under our care, there were not a few whose spiritual state gave us joy and comfort. thus, amidst many difficulties and trials and some discouragements, we had abundant cause to praise god for his goodness, and to go forward in the strength of the lord. dec. , . during this year the lord was pleased to give me, for my personal expenses, £ , s. ¾d. chapter xxii. reaping in joy. - . expecting great things from god--munificent donation--increasing usefulness of the scriptural knowledge institution--access to god through faith in christ--a voice from mount lebanon--benefit of waiting god's time--careful stewardship--faith, the only reliance--"this poor widow hath cast in more than they all"--greater achievements of faith anticipated--counsel to tract distributors--a new and severe trial of faith. on may , , there was in hand toward the erection of the second new orphan house three thousand five hundred and thirty pounds nine shillings sixpence and one farthing. donations varying in amount from three hundred pounds to fourpence continued to be received in answer to prayer. on the th of jan. , mr. m. writes:-- from london two shillings sixpence. day by day i have now been waiting upon god for means for the building fund for more than nineteen months, and almost daily i have received something in answer to prayer. these donations have been, for the most part, small, in comparison with the amount which will be required for the completion of this object; nevertheless, they have shown that the lord, for the sake of his dear son, listens to my supplications, and to those of my fellow-laborers and helpers in the work; and they have been precious encouragements to me to continue to wait upon god. i have been for many months assured that the lord, in his own time, would give larger sums for this work; and for this i have been more and more earnestly entreating him during the last months. now at last he has abundantly refreshed my spirit, and answered my request. i received to-day the promise that, as _the joint donation of several christians_, there should be paid me a donation of eight thousand and one hundred pounds, for the work of the lord in my hands. it is impossible to describe the spiritual refreshment which my heart received through this donation. day by day, for nineteen months, i had been looking out for more abundant help than i had had. i was fully assured that god would help me with larger sums; yet the delay was long. see how precious it is to wait upon god! see how those who do so are not confounded! their faith and patience may long and sharply be tried; but in the end it will most assuredly be seen that those who honor god he will honor, and will not suffer them to be put to shame. the largeness of the donation, whilst it exceedingly refreshed my spirit, did not in the least surprise me; _for i expect_ great _things from god_. have i been boasting in god in vain? is it not manifest that it is most precious in every way to depend upon god? do i serve god for naught? is it not obvious that the principles on which i labor are not only applicable to the work of god _on a small scale_, but also, as i have so many times affirmed during the past nineteen years, _for the most extensive operations for god_? during the year ending may , , nine thousand and one pounds three shillings was received toward the building fund, making the present amount of that fund twelve thousand five hundred and thirty-one pounds twelve shillings one farthing. for the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, viz. for school, missionary, bible, and tract purposes, i had to expend during the year from may, , to may, , about six hundred pounds per month, or above seven thousand pounds in all; but i had sufficient to meet every demand; and over and above i was helped by the lord to increase the building fund nine thousand pounds. the current expenses of the institution were never so great during the previous nineteen years; but the extent of its operations, and the means which the lord was pleased to send in, were also never so great. you see, dear reader, that we are richly recompensed for our waiting upon god. you perceive the readiness of his heart to listen to the supplications of his children who put their trust in him. if you have never made trial of it, do so now. but in order to have your prayers answered, you need to make your requests unto god on the ground of the merits and worthiness of the lord jesus. you must not depend upon your own worthiness and merits, but solely on the lord jesus, as the ground of acceptance before god, for your person, for your prayers, for your labors, and for everything else. do you really believe in jesus? do you verily depend upon him alone for the salvation of your soul? see to it well, that not the least degree of your own righteousness is presented unto god as a ground of acceptance. but then, if you believe in the lord jesus, it is further necessary, in order that your prayers may be answered, that the things which you ask god should be of such a kind that god can give them to you, because they are for his honor and your real good. if the obtaining of your requests were not for your real good, or were not tending to the honor of god, you might pray for a long time without obtaining what you desire. the glory of god should be always before the children of god, in what they desire at his hands; and their own spiritual profit, being so intimately connected with the honor of god, should never be lost sight of in their petitions. but now, suppose we are believers in the lord jesus, and suppose we make our requests unto god, depending alone on the lord jesus as the ground of having them granted; suppose also, that, so far as we are able honestly and uprightly to judge, the obtaining of our requests would be for our real spiritual good, and for the honor of god; we yet need, lastly, to _continue_ in prayer until the blessing is granted unto us. it is not enough to begin to pray, nor to pray aright; nor is it enough to continue _for a time_ to pray; but we must patiently, believingly continue in prayer until we obtain an answer; and, further, we have not only _to continue_ in prayer unto the end, but we have also _to believe_ that god does hear us, and will answer our prayers. most frequently we fail _in not continuing_ in prayer until the blessing is obtained, and _in not expecting_ the blessing. as assuredly as in any individual these various points are found united together, so assuredly will answers be granted to his requests. during the year - , the expense of the support of the orphans was fully met by unsolicited donations. two or three particulars only will be given. june , . to-day i received one of the most remarkable donations which i ever had. i give the whole account, without the name of the donor. lyons, june , , dear brother in christ: it is now several years that i read with great interest, and i hope with some benefit to my soul, the account of your labors and experiences. ever since then your work was the object of many thoughts and prayers, and i gave many copies of your book to christian friends. one of them has read it in syria, on mount lebanon, where he is for commercial business; and, whilst praying for you and your dear orphans, the lord put it in his heart to send you two pounds, to which my husband added two others; and we beg you to accept that small offering in the name of the lord. if you have published anything of the lord's dealings with you since the year , we shall be very happy to receive it. you could forward it to messrs. * * * *, london, for * * * * of lyons. and now, dear brother, may the grace and peace of the lord rest on you and your dear home's inhabitants. affectionately yours in the lord, * * * * i have had donations from australia, the east indies, the west indies, the united states, canada, from the cape of good hope, from france, switzerland, germany, italy, etc.; and now comes also this donation from mount lebanon, with the prayer of a christian brother whose name i never heard nor know even now. see, dear reader, this is the way in which the lord has helped me in this precious service for twenty-two years. with my fellow-laborers, or without them, and they without me, our prayers are offered up unto the lord for help, and he is pleased, for jesus' sake, to listen to our supplications, and to influence the hearts of some of his children, known to us or not, to send us help. the donors may be rich or poor; they may live near, or at a distance of more than ten thousand miles; they may give much or little; they may have often given before, or never; they may be well known to us, or not at all: in these and many other things there may be constant variations; but god continually helps us; we are never confounded. and why not? simply because we are enabled by the grace of god to put our trust in him for what we need. oct. . this morning luke vii. came in the course of my reading before breakfast. while reading the account about the centurion and the raising from death of the widow's son at nain, i lifted up my heart to the lord jesus thus: "lord jesus, thou hast the same power now. thou canst provide me with means for thy work in my hands. be pleased to do so." about half an hour afterwards i received two hundred and thirty pounds fifteen shillings; also one shilling. this two hundred and thirty pounds fifteen shillings was left at my disposal, as most needed. i took one half of it for the current expenses for the orphans, and the other half for the other objects. i am now amply provided for meeting the demands of this day. the joy which such answers to prayer afford cannot be described. i was determined to wait upon god only, and not to work an unscriptural deliverance for myself. i have thousands of pounds for the building fund; but i would not take of it, because it was once set apart for that object. there is also a legacy of one hundred pounds for the orphans two months overdue, in the prospect of the payment of which the heart might be naturally inclined to use some money from the building fund, to be replaced by the legacy money, when it comes in; but i would not thus step out of god's way of obtaining help. at the very time when this donation arrived, i had packed up one hundred pounds which i happened to have in hand, received for the building fund, in order to take it to the bank, as i was determined not to touch it, but to wait upon god. my soul does magnify the lord for his goodness! this last paragraph is copied out of my journal, written down at the time. i add a few words more to the last sentences. the natural mind is ever prone _to reason_, when we ought _to believe_; to be _at work_, when we ought to be _quiet_; to go our own way, when we ought steadily to walk on in god's ways, however trying to nature. when i was first converted, i should have said, what harm can there be to take some of the money which has been put by for the building fund? god will help me again after some time with means for the orphans, and then i can replace it. or, there is this money due for the legacy of one hundred pounds. this money is quite sure; may i not, therefore, on the strength of it, take some of the money from the building fund, and, when the legacy is paid, replace the money which i have taken? from what i have seen of believers, i know that many would act thus. but how does it work, when we thus anticipate god, by going our own way? we bring, in many instances, guilt on our conscience; but if not, we certainly weaken faith instead of increasing it; and each time we work thus a deliverance of our own we find it more and more difficult to trust in god, till at last we give way entirely to our natural fallen reason, and unbelief prevails. how different, if one is enabled to wait god's own time, and to look alone to him for help and deliverance! when at last help comes, after many seasons of prayer it may be, and after much exercise of faith and patience it may be, how sweet it is, and what a present recompense does the soul at once receive for trusting in god, and waiting patiently for his deliverance! dear christian reader, if you have never walked in this path of obedience before, do so now, and you will then know experimentally the sweetness of the joy which results from it. oct. . by sale of rags and bones twelve shillings sixpence. i copy literally from the receipt book. we seek to make the best of everything. as a steward of public money, i feel it right that even these articles should be turned into money; nor could we expect answers to our prayers if _knowingly_ there were any waste allowed in connection with this work. for just because the money is received from god, simply in answer to prayer only, therefore it becomes us the more to be careful in the use of it. from dec. , , to jan. , , we had nothing in advance of our wants. means came in only as they were required for pressing needs. but on the th january, we received, as stated under another head, the largest donation i ever had, of which i took six hundred pounds for the support of the orphans. these facts i state, in order to give a practical illustration that those are entirely mistaken who suppose that the work is now _no longer_ a work of faith, as it used to be in former years. it is true, we have now a larger income than we used to have in the years , , and ; but it is also true that our expenses are three times as great. we have no regular income now, even as we had not then. we ask no human being now for help; even as we did not then. we depend alone upon god, by his grace; even as we did then. who is there in the whole world who will state that i ever asked him for help in this orphan work, from its commencement, on dec. , , up till now? now, as we have no funds to live upon; as we have no regular subscribers or donors upon whom we could depend; as we never ask help from man, but god alone; and as, finally, we never did go into debt for this work, nor do we now: why is it not now a work of faith, as formerly? will those who say it is not, place themselves in the position in which i was, when, at the close of the year , i had not two pounds left, and about three hundred and thirty persons were day by day to be provided for, with all they need, and prove whether it is now anything else than a work of faith? but perhaps i have said too much about this. for every one, except those who are _determined_ not to see, will have no difficulty in perceiving that now, as formerly, one could only be kept from being overwhelmed in such a position by looking day by day to the lord, and that not merely for pecuniary supplies, but for help under the numberless difficulties which continually are met with in such a work. how can i sufficiently praise, and adore, and magnify the lord for his love and faithfulness in carrying me thus from year to year through this his service, supplying me with all i need in the way of means, fellow-laborers, mental strength, and, above all, spiritual support! but for his help and support i should be completely overpowered in a very short time; yet, by his help i go on, and am very happy, spiritually, in my service; nor am i now generally worse in health than i was twenty years ago, but rather better. during the year - , there were four day schools, with children in them, entirely supported by the funds of the institution. further, one sunday school in bristol, with children, was entirely supported, and three others in devonshire, somersetshire, and gloucestershire, with children, were assisted. lastly, one adult school, with adult scholars, was entirely supported by the funds of the institution. there were under our care, from march , , to may , , in the various day schools , children, in the sunday schools , children, and in the adult school , persons. there was expended of the funds of the institution during this year, for the various schools, £ , s. d. during this year there was laid out of the funds of the institution, on the circulation of the holy scriptures, £ , s, ½d., and there were circulated , bibles and , new testaments. there were circulated from march , , up to may , , , bibles, and , new testaments. for several years past this part of the work has appeared more and more important to me on account of the fearful attempts which have been made by the powers of darkness to rob the church of christ of the holy scriptures. i have on this account sought to embrace every opportunity to circulate the holy scriptures in england, ireland, canada, british guiana, the east indies, china, australia, etc. every open door which the lord was pleased to set before me in these or other parts of the world, i have joyfully entered; yea, i have counted it a privilege, indeed, to be permitted of god to send forth his holy word. many servants of christ, in various parts of the world, have assisted me in this service, through whose instrumentality copies of the holy scriptures have been circulated. during this year there was spent of the funds of the institution for missionary objects £ , , s. d. by this sum fifty-four laborers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, were to a greater or less degree assisted. there was laid out for the circulation of tracts, from may , , to may , , the sum of £ , s. ½d.; and there were circulated within this year , tracts. the total number of tracts which were circulated up to may , , was , , . from nov. , , to may , , the first period that the circulation of tracts was in operation in connection with the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, there were circulated , ; from may , , to may , , , ; and during this period , . at the beginning of this period there were orphans in the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol. during the year there were admitted into it orphans, making in all. the total number of orphans who were under our care from april, , to may , , was . _without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me_, the sum of £ , , s. ¾d. was given to me for the orphans, _as the result of prayer to god_, from the commencement of the work up to may , . it may be also interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which was given for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , amounted to £ , , s. ½d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day schools, amounted to £ , , s. ¼d. besides this, also, a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, etc., were given _for the use_ of the orphans. the expenses in connection with the support of the orphans and the apprentices during this year were £ , , s. ½d. dec. , . during this year there have been received into fellowship believers. the lord has been pleased to give unto me £ , s. ½d. my brother-in-law, mr. a. n. groves, of whom mention has been made in the first part of this narrative, as having been helpful to me by his example when i began my labors in england in , in that he, without any visible support, and without being connected with any missionary society, went with his wife and children to bagdad, as a missionary, after having given up a lucrative practice of about one thousand five hundred pounds per year, returned in autumn , from the east indies, a third time, being exceedingly ill. he lived, however, till may , , when, after a most blessed testimony for the lord, he fell asleep in jesus in my house. i have already stated that on may , , i had on hand toward building premises large enough for the accommodation of children, the sum of £ , , s. ¼d. a single circumstance will illustrate the widely diverse sources from which donations are received, as well as the great disparity in amount. jan. , . from s. r. and e. r., two poor factory girls, near stroud, s. d. this day i also received the promise that there should be paid to me, for the work of the lord in my hands, £ , , to be disposed of as i might consider best. the whole amount received for the new orphan house, during the year closing may , , was £ , , s. d., which made the total of £ , , s. ¼d. in hand on may , . during this year the current expenses for the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad amounted to £ , , s. ½d., being £ , s. d. more than during any previous year; yet the lord not only enabled me to meet them all, but to add the sum of £ , , s. d. to the building fund. there is yet a large sum required before i shall be enabled to build another house for orphans; nor have i now, any more than at the first, any natural prospect of obtaining what is yet needed; but my hope is in the living god. when i came to the conclusion that it was the will of god that i should build another orphan house, i had not only no natural prospect of obtaining the £ , which would be needed for this object, but also i had no natural prospect of being able to provide for the necessities of the three hundred orphans already under my care. three years have elapsed since then, and i have had all i needed for them, amounting to about £ , ; and £ , , s. ¼d. i have received for the building fund. may i not well trust in the lord for what is yet needed for the building fund? by his grace i will do so, and delight in doing so; for i know that at last all my prayers will be turned into praises concerning this part of the service. there is one point which is particularly an encouragement to me to go on waiting upon the lord for the remainder of the means which are required, viz: applications for the admission of orphans _continue_ to be made. on may , , there were orphans waiting for admission. since then more have been applied for, making in all . these children are from three months old and upwards, and all bereaved of both parents by death. during the year now under review i received the following donation for the missionary laborers, under circumstances of peculiar interest. on aug. , , i received a letter from a christian brother, accompanied with an order for eighty-eight pounds two shillings sixpence on his bankers, of which three pounds two shillings sixpence were the proceeds of an orphan box in a meeting-place of believers, and eighty-five pounds from a poor widow who had sold her little house, being all her property, and who had put ninety pounds, the total amount of what she had received, into that orphan box two months before, on june , . in this box the money had been for some time, without its being known, till the orphan box was opened, and the ninety pounds with a few lines without name were found in it. as, however, the fact of her intending to sell the little house, and her intention of sending me the money for the lord's work, had been known to the brother who sent me the money, he did not feel free to send it to me without remonstrating with her through two brethren, whom he sent with the money, offering it again to her; for he knew her to be very poor, and feared that this might be an act of excitement, and therefore be regretted afterwards. these brethren could not prevail on her to receive back the money, but they did _persuade_ her to receive back five pounds of the amount, and then the brother referred to felt no longer free to keep the money from me, and hence sent me the eighty-five pounds. on the receipt of this, i wrote at once to the poor godly widow, offering her the travelling expenses for coming to bristol, that i might have personal intercourse with her; for i feared lest this should be an act of excitement, and the more so, as she had received back five pounds of the sum. this sister in the lord, a widow of about sixty years of age, came to bristol, and told me in all simplicity how that ten years before, in the year , she had purposed that if ever she should come into the possession of the little house in which she lived with her husband, she would sell it, and give the proceeds of it to the lord. about five years afterwards her husband died, and she, having no children, nor any one having particular claim upon her, then sought to dispose of her little property, as had been her mind all those years before. however, one difficulty after another prevented her being able to effect a sale. at last she felt in particular difficulty on account of her inability to pay the yearly ground-rent of the little house and garden, and she asked the lord to enable her to sell the property, in order that she might be able to carry out her desire which she had had for ten years, to give to him the proceeds of this her possession. he now helped her. the house was sold, the money paid, and she put the whole ninety pounds into the orphan box for me, being assured that the lord would direct me how best the money might be used for him. i still questioned her again and again, to find out whether it was not excitement which had led her to act as she had done; but i not only saw that her mind had been fully decided about this act for ten years before, but that she also was able to answer from the word of god all the objections which i purposely made, in order to probe her, whether she had intelligently and from right motives acted in what she had done. at last i was fully satisfied that it was not from impulse, nor under excitement, that she had given the money. i next stated to her something like this: "you are poor, and you are about sixty years old, therefore decreasing in strength, and may you not therefore keep this money for yourself?" her reply was, as nearly as i remember, something like this: "god has always provided for me, and i have no doubt he will do so in future also. i am able to work and to earn my bread as well as others, and am willing to work as a nurse, or in any other way." what could i say against this? this is just what a child of god would say, and should say. but the greatest of all the difficulties to the accepting of the eighty-five pounds remained in my mind, and i state it, as i relate the whole for the profit of the reader. it was this. the house had been sold for ninety pounds. the whole amount had been put into the box, but, on the persuasion of those two brethren who were requested to remonstrate with this widow, she had been induced to take back five pounds out of the ninety pounds. i therefore said to myself, might she not be willing, after a time, to take back the whole ninety pounds; how, therefore, can i feel happy in accepting this money? on this account i particularly laid stress upon this point, and told her that i feared she might regret her act altogether after some time, as she had taken back this five pounds. i now learned the circumstances under which she had been induced to take back this five pounds. the two brethren who had called on her for the purpose of pointing out to her the propriety of receiving back again the ninety pounds, or part of it, told her that barnabas sold his land, but afterwards lived with others on that which he and others had thrown into the common stock, and that, therefore, she might receive at least part of the ninety pounds back again, if she would not take the whole. she then said to herself that, "as a child of god, she might take the children's portion," and, as she had given to god this ninety pounds, she might receive five pounds back again. she told me that she considered the brethren had shown her from the holy scriptures what she might do, and therefore she had taken this five pounds. i did not myself agree with the judgment of those brethren who had said this (as there is no evidence that barnabas ever was supported out of the common stock, the proceeds of the sale of houses and lands, out of which the poor were supported); but i purposely said nothing to the widow, lest she should at once be induced to give me this five pounds also. she had, however, this five pounds untouched, and showed it to me; and before she left she would make me take one pound of it for the benefit of the orphans, which i did not refuse, as i had no intention of keeping the eighty-five pounds. she also gave me a sixpence for the orphans, which some one had given her for herself, a few days before. i now asked her, as this matter concerning the retaining of the five pounds was satisfactorily explained, as far as it respected her own state of heart, what she wished me to do with the money, in case i saw it right to keep it. her reply was that she would leave that with me, that god would direct me concerning it; but that, if she said anything at all about it, she should most like it to be used for the support of brethren who labor in the word without any salary, and who hazard their lives for the name of christ. she wished _me_ to have a part of the money; but this i flatly refused, lest i should be evil spoken of in this matter. i then offered to pay her travelling expenses, as she had come to me, which she would not accept, as she did not stand in need of it. in conclusion, i told her that i would now further pray respecting this matter, and consider what to do concerning it. i then prayed with this dear, godly woman, commended her to god, separated from her, and have not seen her since. i waited from aug. , , to march , , when i wrote to her, offering her back again the whole eighty-five pounds, or a part of it. on march , , just seven months after i had received the money, and just nine months after she had actually given it, and ten years and nine months after she had made the resolution to give her house and garden to god, i heard from her, stating that she was of the same mind as she had been for years. i therefore disposed of the money, to aid such foreign missionary brethren as, according to the best of my knowledge, resembled most the class of men whom she wished to assist. the reasons why i have so minutely dwelt upon this circumstance are: . if, as a steward of the bounties of the children of god, i should be blamed for receiving from a poor widow almost literally her all, it may be seen in what manner i did so. to have refused on march , , also, would be going beyond what i should be warranted to do. . i desired, also, to give a practical illustration that i only desire donations in god's way. it is not the money only i desire; but the money received in answer to prayer, in god's order. . this circumstance illustrates how god helps me often in the most unexpected manner. . i have also related this instance that there may be a fresh proof that even in these last days the love of christ is of constraining power, and may work mightily, as in the days of the apostles. i have witnessed _many_ such instances as this, in the twenty years during which i have been occupied in this my service. let us give thanks to god for such cases, and let us seek for grace rather to imitate such godly men and women, than think that they are going too far. i cannot, however, dismiss this subject, without commending this poor widow to the prayers of all who love our lord jesus, that she may be kept humble, lest, thinking highly of herself, on account of what she has been enabled to do, by the grace of god, she should not only lose blessing in her own soul, but this circumstance should become a snare to her. pray also, believing reader, that she may never be allowed to regret what she has done for the lord. after giving in detail the sources and manner of supply for the maintenance of the orphans during twenty-four days, mr. m. adds:-- the particular end why i have been so minute, is, _to show that the work is now, as much as ever, a work carried on entirely in dependence upon the living god, who alone is our hope, and to whom alone we look for help, and who never has forsaken us in the hour of need_. there is, however, one thing different with reference to this year, when compared with former years, and that is, that, while our trials of faith during this year were just as great as in previous years, the amount needed in former times was never so great as during this year, especially as the bread during the greater part of this year was about twice as dear as for several years before. but then, it may be said, if you have had this trial of faith, with these three hundred orphans, why do you seek to build another orphan house for seven hundred more, and thus have a thousand to care for? will you not have still greater trials of faith? my reply is: . god has never failed me all the twenty years of this my service. . i am going on as easily now, with three hundred orphans, as with thirty, the number with which i commenced. their number is ten times as large as it was at the first; but god has always helped me. . trials of faith were anticipated, yea, were one chief end of the work, for the profit of the church of christ at large. . i had courage given me to go forward, solely in dependence upon god, being assured that he would help me; yet i waited in secret upon him for six months before i made this my intention known, in order that i might not take a hasty step; and i have never regretted my having gone forward. . but it needs to be added that the very abundance which the lord gave me at the time, when my mind was exercised about this matter, was a great confirmation to me that i had not mistaken his mind. and even during this year, how great has been his help; for the income for the work altogether has been twelve thousand seven hundred and eighty-five pounds fifteen shillings sevenpence halfpenny. i am, therefore, assured that the lord will, in his own time, not only allow me to build another orphan house, but that he will also, when he shall have been pleased to fill it, find the means to provide for these children. during this year four day schools, with children, were _entirely supported_ by the funds of the institution. further, one sunday school in bristol, with children, was _entirely supported_, and three others in devonshire, somersetshire, and gloucestershire, with children, were _assisted_. lastly, one adult school, with adult scholars, was _entirely_ supported. the total amount which was spent during this year in connection with these schools was £ , s. ½d. the number of all the children who were under our care merely in the schools which were _entirely_ supported by this institution, from march , , to may , , was , in the day schools, , in the sunday schools, and , persons in the adult school. during this year was expended on the circulation of the holy scriptures, of the funds of the institution, £ , s. d. there were circulated during this year , bibles and , new testaments; and from the commencement of the work up to may , , , bibles and , testaments. during this year there was spent of the funds of the institution, for missionary objects, the sum of £ , , s. ½d. by this sum fifty-six laborers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, were to a greater or less degree assisted. during this year, the lord was pleased to bless again abundantly the labors of many of those servants of christ who were assisted through the funds of this institution, and this has been the case in foreign countries as well as at home. there was laid out for the circulation of tracts, from may , , to may , , the sum of £ , s. ½d.; and there were circulated , tracts. the total number of all the tracts which were circulated from the beginning up to may , , was , , . we desire to be grateful to the lord that during no period previously we were enabled to circulate more tracts, and more copies of the holy scriptures, and to aid to a greater degree missionary labors, than during this period; yet we would not rest in that. it is the blessing of the lord upon our labors which we need, which we desire, and which by his grace we also seek. if any of the christian readers are in the habit of circulating tracts, and yet have never seen fruit, may i suggest to them the following hints for their prayerful consideration. . seek for such a state of heart, through prayer and meditation on the holy scriptures, as that you are willing to let god have all the honor, if any good is accomplished by your service. if you desire for yourself the honor, yea, though it were in part only, you oblige the lord, so to speak, to put you as yet aside as a vessel not meet for the master's use. one of the greatest qualifications for usefulness in the service of the lord is a heart truly desirous of getting honor for him. . precede all your labors with earnest, diligent prayer; go to them in a prayerful spirit; and follow them by prayer. do not rest on the number of tracts you have given. a million of tracts may not be the means of converting one single soul; and yet how great, beyond calculation, may be the blessing which results from one single tract. thus it is also with regard to the circulation of the holy scriptures, and the ministry of the word itself. expect, then, everything from the blessing of the lord, and nothing at all from your own exertions. . and yet, at the same time, labor, press into every open door, be instant in season and out of season, as if everything depended upon your labors. this, as has been stated before, is one of the great secrets in connection with successful service for the lord: to work, as if everything depended upon our diligence, and yet not to rest in the least upon our exertions, but upon the blessing of the lord. . this blessing of the lord, however, should not merely be sought in prayer, but it should also be _expected, looked for, continually looked for_; and the result will be that we shall surely have it. . but suppose that, for the trial of our faith, this blessing were for a long time withheld from our sight; or suppose, even, that we should have to fall asleep before we see much good resulting from our labors; yet will our labors, if carried on in such a way and spirit as has been stated, be at last abundantly owned, and we shall have a rich harvest in the day of christ. at the beginning of this period there were orphans in the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol. during the year there were admitted into it orphans, making in all. the total number of orphans who were under our care from april, , to may , , was . the expenses during this year for the support of the orphans were £ , , s. ½d. _without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me_, the sum of £ , , s. ¼d. was given to me for the orphans, _as the result of prayer to god_, from the commencement of the work up to may , . it may be also interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which was given for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , amounted to £ , , s. ¼d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day schools, from the commencement up to may , , amounted to £ , , s. ¾d. our labors continued to be blessed among the orphans. we saw also again fruit of our labors, during this year, with regard to orphans who formerly were under our care. in july, , it pleased the lord to try my faith in a way in which before it had not been tried. my beloved daughter, an only child, and a believer since the commencement of the year , was taken ill on june . this illness, at first a low fever, turned to typhus. on july there seemed no hope of her recovery. now was the trial of faith. but faith triumphed. my beloved wife and i were enabled to give her up into the hands of the lord. he sustained us both exceedingly. but i will only speak about myself. though my only and beloved child was brought near the grave, yet was my soul in perfect peace, satisfied with the will of my heavenly father, being assured that he would only do that for her and her parents which in the end would be the best. she continued very ill till about july , when restoration began. on aug. she was so far restored that she could be removed to clevedon, for change of air, though exceedingly weak. it was then fifty-nine days since she was first taken ill. while i was in this affliction, this great affliction, besides being at peace, as far as the lord's dispensation was concerned, i also felt perfectly at peace with regard to the cause of the affliction. when in august, , the hand of the lord was heavily laid on me in my family, as related in the first part of this narrative, i had not the least hesitation in knowing that it was the father's rod, applied in infinite wisdom and love for the restoration of my soul from a state of lukewarmness. at this time, however, i had no such feeling. conscious as i was of my manifold weaknesses, failings, and shortcomings, so that i too would be ready to say with the apostle paul, "o wretched man than i am!" yet i was assured that this affliction was not upon me in the way of the fatherly rod, but for the trial of my faith. persons often have, no doubt, the idea respecting me, that all my trials of faith regard matters connected with money, though the reverse has been stated by me very frequently; now, however, the lord would try my faith concerning one of my dearest earthly treasures, yea, next to my beloved wife, the dearest of all my earthly possessions. parents know what an only child, a beloved child, is, and what to believing parents an only child, a believing child, must be. well, the father in heaven said, as it were, by this his dispensation, art thou willing to give up this child to me? my heart responded, as it seems good to thee, my heavenly father. thy will be done. but as our hearts were made willing to give back our beloved child to him who had given her to us; so he was ready to leave her to us, and she lived. "delight thyself also in the lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." psalm xxxvii. . the desires of my heart were, to retain the beloved daughter, if it were the will of god; the means to return her were, to be satisfied with the will of the lord. of all the trials of faith that as yet i have had to pass through, this was the greatest; and, by god's abundant mercy, i own it to his praise, i was enabled to delight myself in the will of god; for i felt perfectly sure that if the lord took this beloved daughter, it would be best for her parents, best for herself, and more for the glory of god than if she lived: this better part i was satisfied with; and thus my heart had peace, perfect peace, and i had not a moment's anxiety. thus would it be under all circumstances, however painful, were the believer exercising faith. dec. , . during this year the lord was pleased to give me £ , s. ½d. chapter xxiii. three years of prosperity. - . the site selected--six thousand orphans in prison--how to ask for daily bread--review of twenty-four years--"take no thought for the morrow"--insurance against bad debts. during the year ending may , , mr. m. received toward the erection of the second new orphan house five thousand two hundred and forty-two pounds eighteen shillings threepence, and the whole sum on hand for this object amounted to twenty-three thousand and fifty-nine pounds seventeen shillings eightpence one farthing. after recording the amount thus obtained, he adds:-- i judged that, though i had not such an amount of means in hand as i considered necessary before being warranted to begin to build, yet that i might make inquiries respecting land. accordingly, i applied in the beginning of february for the purchase of two fields which join the land on which the new orphan house is built. on these two fields i had had my eye for years, and had purposed to endeavor to purchase them whenever i might be in such a position, as to means for the building fund, that it would be suitable to do so. i found, however, that, according to the will of the late owner of these fields, they could not be sold _now_. thus my prospects were blighted. when i obtained this information, though _naturally_ tried by it and disappointed, i said; by _god's grace_, to myself, "the lord has something better to give me, instead of these two fields;" and thus my heart was kept in peace. but when now the matter was fully decided that i could not obtain those fields, which had appeared to me so desirable for the object, the question arose, what i was to do for the obtaining of land. under these circumstances some of my christian friends again asked, as they had done before, why i did not build on the ground which we have around the new orphan house. my reply was, as before, that it could not be done: . because it would throw the new orphan house for nearly two years into disorder, on account of the building going on round about it. . there would not be sufficient room without shutting in the present house to a great extent. . that, as the new orphan house stands in the centre of our ground, there would not be sufficient room on any of the sides for the erection of a building so large as would be required. i was, however, led to consider whether there was any way whereby we could accomplish the building on the ground belonging to the new orphan house. in doing so, i found that,-- . by having a high temporary boundary made of old boards, the building ground could be entirely distinct from the present establishment. . by building on an entirely different plan from that of the present house, we should not only have room enough; but that, also, . the present house would not be so inclosed that the health of the inmates of the establishment would thereby be injured. but there was in connection with this another point which now came under consideration in addition to the particulars already mentioned: it was this. though for four years past i had never had a doubt as to its being the will of god that i should build accommodation for seven hundred more orphans; yet, at the same time, i had for a long time seen the desirableness of having two houses instead of one, for the seven hundred orphans. this previously formed judgment of having two houses for three hundred and fifty orphans in each, or four hundred in the one, and three hundred in the other, led me now to see whether there could be another house built on each side of the present new orphan house; and i judged, from measuring the ground, that there was no objection to this plan. i then called in the aid of architects, to survey the ground, and to make a rough plan of two houses, one on each side, and it was found that it could be accomplished. having arrived thus far, i soon saw that we should not only save expense by this plan in various ways, but especially that thus the direction and inspection of the whole establishment would be much more easy and simple, as the buildings would be so near together. this, indeed, on being further considered, soon appeared to be a matter of such importance, that if even land could be had but a quarter of a mile off, the difficulties would be greatly increased thereby. at the same time i found that we still should retain so much land for cultivation by the spade as would furnish some out-door employment for many boys, and would produce such kind of vegetables as are the most important for young children to be had fresh out of the ground; or that we could easily _rent_ a piece of ground near for that purpose, though it could not be _bought_. the result, then, to which i have arrived at present is this: that having seen what could be accomplished on the ground which we have already, i decided to build, without any further delay than was necessary for preparing the plans, at the south side of the new orphan house, another house for four hundred children. the plans are now ready, and in a very short time, god willing, _i. e._ as soon as all the necessary preliminary arrangements can be made, the building will commence, which i think will be in the early part of july of the present year (_i. e._ ). this house is intended for four hundred female orphans, bereaved of both parents, from their _earliest_ days until they can be placed out in service. with regard to the other house for three hundred orphans, to be built at the north side of the new orphan house, nothing definitely can be stated at present. there is enough money in hand to build, fit up, and furnish the house for four hundred orphans, and it is expected that something will be left; but there is not sufficient money in hand, at present, to warrant the commencement of the building of both. as soon, however, as there is, i shall be delighted to take active measures with regard to that for three hundred orphans also. i do not ask persons to help me with their means. i speak to the lord about my need in prayer, and i do not wait upon him in vain. at the same time i feel it right to state that there is a loud and an abundant call for caring for destitute orphans. on may , , i had six hundred and two waiting for admission, each bereaved of both parents by death. since then one hundred and ninety-seven more have been applied for, making in all seven hundred and ninety-nine. of these i have been able to receive only thirty-nine during the past year, and forty-five who were waiting for admission have been otherwise provided for, or have died since application was made for them; so that still seven hundred and fifteen orphans are waiting for admission, from three months old and upward. but this number, i state unhesitatingly, would be much larger, had not very many persons refrained from making application because they judged it would be of no use, as there are already so many waiting for admission. indeed, there is every reason to believe that there are many tens of thousands of destitute orphans in this country. and what provision is there in the way of orphan establishments it may be asked. at the last census, in , there were in england and wales thirty-nine orphan establishments, and the total number of orphans, provided for through them, amounted only to three thousand seven hundred and sixty-four; but at the time the new orphan house was being built there were about six thousand young orphans in the prisons of england. to prevent their going to prison, to prevent their being brought up in sin and vice, yea, to be the honored instrument to win their souls for god, i desire, by his help, to enlarge the present establishment so as to be able to receive one thousand orphans; and individuals who have purposed not to live for time but for eternity, and to look on their means as in the light of eternity, will thus have an opportunity of helping me to care for these children. it is a great honor to be allowed to do anything for the lord; therefore i do not press this matter. we can only give to him of his own; for all we have is his. when the day of recompense comes, the regret will only be that we have done so little for him, not that we have done too much. during the year from may, , to may, , ample means were provided, in answer to prayer only, for the maintenance of the orphans, and for the various purposes of the scriptural knowledge institution. the following statement exhibits the results of mr. müller's labors during the year under review:-- during this year four day schools in bristol, with children in them, were _entirely supported_ by the funds of the institution; and several other day schools in devonshire, cornwall, suffolk, ireland, and scotland, were _assisted_ with copies of the holy scriptures. further, one sunday school in bristol, with children, was _entirely supported_, and seven others in cornwall, devonshire, somersetshire, and gloucestershire, with about children in them, were _assisted_. lastly, one adult school, with adults was entirely supported during this year. the amount expended during this year, on these various schools, was £ , s. d. in connection with all these various schools, i would suggest the following important matter for prayer. from march, , to may , , there were , children in the day schools. in the adult schools there were , persons. the number of the sunday-school children amounted to , . thus, without reckoning the orphans, , souls were brought under _habitual_ instruction in the things of god in these various schools; besides the many thousands in the schools in various parts of england, ireland, scotland, british guiana, the west indies, the east indies, etc., which were to a greater or less degree assisted. the total sum which was expended during the twenty-one years, from march , , to may , , in connection with the schools, which were either entirely or in part supported by the funds of this institution, amounted to £ , , s. ¼d. the number of bibles, new testaments, and portions of the holy scriptures, which were circulated from may , , to may , , is as follows:-- bibles sold, . bibles given away, . testaments sold, . testaments given away, . copies of the psalms sold, . other small portions of the holy scriptures sold, . there were circulated from march , , to may , , through the medium of this institution, , bibles, , new testaments, copies of the psalms, and other small portions of the holy scriptures. the total amount of the funds of this institution spent on the circulation of the holy scriptures, from march , , to may , , is £ , , s. d. the amount spent during this year, £ , s. d. during this year there was spent of the funds of the institution, for missionary objects, the sum of £ , , s. d. by this sum fifty-seven laborers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, were to a greater or less degree assisted. the total amount of the funds of the institution spent on missionary operations, from march , , to may , , was £ , , s. ½d. there was laid out for tracts, from may , , to may , , the sum of £ , s. d.; and there were circulated within this year , tracts and books. the total number of all the tracts and books which were circulated from the beginning up to may , , was , , . the total amount of means expended on this object, from nov. , , to may , , was £ , , s. ¾d. at the commencement of this period there were orphans in the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol. during the year there were admitted into it orphans. the expenses for the orphans during this year were £ , , s. ½d. _without any one having been personally applied to for anything_ by me, the sum of £ , , s. ¾d. was given to me for the orphans, _as the result of prayer to god_, from the commencement of the work up to may , , which sum includes the £ , , s. ¼d., which was the cost of the building, fitting up and furnishing of the present new orphan house, and the £ , , s. ¼d., which was in hand on the th may, , for the building fund, and the £ , s. ½d., the balance for the current expenses. it may also be interesting to the reader to know that the total sum which was given for the other objects, from the commencement of the work up to may , , amounted to £ , , s. ¾d.; and that which came in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day schools, from the commencement, amounted to £ , , s. ¾d. besides this also a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, etc., were given _for the use_ of the orphans. i have the joy of being able to state that we have great cause for thankfulness in that in the midst of many difficulties our labors among the orphans continue to be blessed, and that especially again and again instances now come before us in which those who were formerly under our care declare themselves on the lord's side. besides being able to meet the expenses for the orphans and the other objects, amounting altogether to £ , , s. ½d., during this year i was able to add to the building fund £ , , s. d. the total income during the year was £ , , s. d. dec. , . during this year there have been received into fellowship . the lord has been pleased to give me during this year £ , s. d. one or the other of my readers may be ready to exclaim, six hundred and ninety-seven pounds eleven shillings fivepence! what a large sum! not one out of a hundred ministers has such a large salary, nor one out of twenty clergymen such a good living! should you, esteemed reader, say so, my reply is: indeed, mine is a happy way for the obtaining of my temporal supplies; but if any one desires to go this way, he must,-- . not _merely say_ that he trusts in god, but must _really do so_. often individuals profess to trust in god, but they embrace every opportunity where they may directly or indirectly be able to expose their need, and thus seek to induce persons to help them. i do not say it is wrong to make known our wants; but i do say it ill agrees with trust in god to expose our wants for the sake of inducing persons to help us. god will take us at our word. if we say we trust in him, he will try whether we _really_ do so, or only _profess_ to do so; and if _indeed_ we trust in him, we are satisfied to stand with him alone. . the individual who desires to go this way must be willing to be rich or poor, as the lord pleases. he must be willing to know what it is to have an abundance or scarcely anything. he must be willing to leave this world without any possessions. . he must be willing to take the money in god's way, not merely in large sums, but in small. again and again have i had a single shilling given or sent to me. to have refused such tokens of christian love would have been ungracious. . he must be willing to live as the lord's steward. if any one were to begin this way of living, and did not communicate out of that which the lord gives to him, but hoard it up, or if he would live up to his income, as it is called, then the lord, who influences the hearts of his children to help him with means, would soon cause those channels to be dried up. how it came that my already good income still more increased so as to come to what it is, i have stated in the early part of this volume; it was when i determined that, by god's help, _his_ poor and _his_ work should more than ever partake of my means. from that time the lord was pleased more and more to intrust me with means for my own purse. various reasons might have kept me from publishing these accounts; but i have for my object in writing the glory of god, and therefore i delight in thus showing what a loving master i serve, and how bountifully he supplies my necessities; and i write for the comfort and encouragement of my fellow-believers, that they may be led to trust in god more and more, and therefore i feel it due to them to state how, even with regard to this life, i am amply provided for, though that is not what i seek after. up to may , , the total income for the building fund was £ , , s. ½d., so that only about £ , more will be required, as far as i am able to see, in order to accomplish to the full my purpose respecting the accommodation for more orphans. during the year - , the wants of the orphans, as well as the demands of the missionary, bible, tract, and school work, were supplied more amply than ever before, and a blessing rested upon all these departments of labor, as will appear from the following statement:-- during this year four day schools, with children, were _entirely supported_ by the funds of the institution; and nine day schools were assisted with copies of the holy scriptures. further, one sunday school, with children, was _entirely supported_, and eight others were _assisted_. lastly, one adult school, with adult scholars, was _entirely supported_, and two other adult schools, in kent and norfolk, were _assisted_ with books. the amount which was spent during this year, in connection with these schools, was £ , s. ¼d.; and the sum total expended during the last twenty-two years, in connection with the schools which were either entirely or in part supported by the funds of this institution, amounts to £ , , s. ½d. the number of all the children who were under our care, merely in the schools which were _entirely_ supported by this institution, from march , , to may , , was , in the day schools, , in the sunday schools, and , persons in the adult school. thus, without reckoning the orphans, , have been brought under habitual instruction in the things of god in these various schools; besides the many thousands in the schools in various parts of england, ireland, scotland, british guiana, the east indies, etc., which have been to a greater or less degree assisted. during this year was expended on the circulation of the holy scriptures, of the funds of this institution, £ ; s. there were circulated during this year , bibles, , new testaments, copies of the psalms, and other small portions of the holy scriptures. there have been circulated since march , , through the medium of this institution, , bibles, , new testaments, copies of the psalms, and other small portions of the holy scriptures. the sum total spent on the circulation of the holy scriptures, since march , , is £ , , s. d. during this year there was spent, of the funds of the institution, for missionary objects, £ , , s. d. by this sum sixty-one laborers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, were to a greater or less degree assisted. the sum total which has been expended on missionary operations, of the funds of the institution, since march , , is £ , , s. ½d. there was laid out for the circulation of tracts, from may , , to may , , the sum of £ , s. ½d., and there were circulated , tracts and books. the sum total which has been expended on this object since nov. , , amounts to £ , , s. ¼d. the total number of all the tracts and books which have been circulated since nov. , , is , , . at the beginning of this period there were orphans in the new orphan house. during the past year there have been admitted into it orphans. the total number of orphans who have been under our care since april, , is . _without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me_, the sum of £ , , s. ¼d. has been given to me for the orphans, _as the result of prayer to god_, since the commencement of the work, which sum includes the £ , , s. ¼d. which was the cost of the building, fitting up, and furnishing of the present new orphan house, and the £ , , s. ½d. received up to may , , for the building fund, and the £ , s. ¾d., the balance of the current expenses. the total sum which has been given for the other objects since the commencement of the work amounts to £ , , s. ¾d.; and that which has come in by the sale of bibles and tracts, and by the payments of the children in the day schools, from the commencement up to may , , amounts to £ , , s. dec. , . during this year the lord has been pleased to give me £ , s. ¼d. may , . yesterday evening it was twenty-four years since i came to labor in bristol. in looking back upon this period, as it regards the lord's goodness to my family and myself, the scriptural knowledge institution, and the saints among whom i seek to serve him, i exclaim, what has god wrought! i marvel at his kindness, and yet i do not; for such is his manner; and, if it please him that i remain longer on earth, i expect, not fewer manifestations of his love, but more and more. since my beloved friend and fellow-laborer and i first came to bristol, , believers have been received into fellowship, which number, with the we found in communion, makes , . but out of that number have fallen asleep, have been separated from fellowship, have left us, some, however, merely through circumstances and in love, and have left bristol; so that there are only remaining in communion. by the contributions received during the year - , the whole amount on hand for the new buildings was raised to thirty-one thousand eight hundred seventeen pounds one shilling and elevenpence. for the bible, tract, and missionary work, and for schools, mr. m. had the pleasure of receiving and of expending eight hundred and twenty-nine pounds more than in the previous year. for the support of the orphans all means were so abundantly provided that at the end of the year there was on hand a balance of one thousand four hundred and eighty-nine pounds. the following incident illustrates the author's reliance upon god for his own future support. on oct. , , was sent to me a check for one hundred pounds, with the request of the donor to receive this for myself, as the beginning of raising a fund for my support when advanced in years, and for that of my family. this very kind and well-intended proposal by the donor, who since has died, appeared to me as a subtle temptation laid for me, though far from being intended so by him, to depart from the principles on which i had been acting for twenty-six years previously, both regarding myself and the orphan work. i give the account of this circumstance fully, as it may be profitable to one or other of the readers. * * * * oct. , . dear sir:-- in admiration of the services which you have rendered to poor orphans and mankind in general, i think it right that some provision should be made for yourself. i think it right to send you one hundred pounds, as a beginning to form a fund, which i hope many good christians will add to, * * * * for the maintenance of you and your family, if your own labors should be unequal to it, and i hope you will lay out this as a beginning accordingly. may god bless you and your labors, as he has hitherto done everything connected with your institutions. i am, dear sir, * * * * by god's grace i had not a moment's hesitation as to what to do. while i most fully appreciated the great kindness of the donor, i looked upon this as being permitted by god as a temptation to put my trust in something else than himself, and i therefore sent the following letter in reply:-- bristol, oct. , . my dear sir:-- i hasten to thank you for your kind communication, and to inform you that your check for one hundred pounds has safely come to hand. i have no property whatever, nor has my dear wife; nor have i had one single shilling regular salary as minister of the gospel for the last twenty-six years, nor as the director of the orphan house and the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. when i am in need of anything, i fall on my knees, and ask god that he would be pleased to give me what i need; and he puts it into the heart of some one or other to help me. thus all my wants have been amply supplied during the last twenty-six years, and i can say, to the praise of god, i have lacked nothing. my dear wife and my only child, a daughter of twenty-four years, are of the same mind with me. of this blessed way of living none of us are tired, but become day by day more convinced of its blessedness. i have never thought it right to make provision for myself, or my dear wife and daughter, except in this way, that when i saw a case of need, such as an aged widow, or a sick person, or a helpless infant, i would use my means freely which god had given me, fully believing that if either myself, or my dear wife or daughter, at some time or other, should be in need of anything, god would richly repay what was given to the poor, considering it as lent to himself. under these circumstances, i am unable to accept your kindness of the gift of one hundred pounds _towards making a provision for myself and family_; for so i understand your letter. any gift given to me, unasked for, by those who have it in their heart to help me to supply my personal and family expenses, i thankfully accept; or any donation given to me for the work of god in which i am engaged, i also thankfully accept, as a steward for the orphans, etc.; but your kind gift seems to me especially given to _make a provision for myself_, which i think would be displeasing to my heavenly father, who has so bountifully given me my daily bread hitherto. but should i have misunderstood the meaning of your letter, be pleased to let me know it. i hold the check till i hear again from you. in the mean time, my dear sir, however you meant your letter, i am deeply sensible of your kindness, and daily pray that god would be pleased richly to recompense you for it, both temporally and spiritually. i am, dear sir, yours very gratefully, george mÜller. two days after i received a reply, in which the donor desired me to use the one hundred pounds for the support of the orphans, for which object i gladly accepted this sum. the day after that i received another one hundred pounds from the same donor, and four days after that one hundred pounds more, all for the support of the orphans, and all from an individual whom i have never seen. in the following words is contained a useful lesson to persons engaged in business:-- feb. , . received five pounds as a thank-offering to the lord for preservation from making bad debts the past year. has it ever occurred to the reader that the lord only can preserve any one engaged in business from making bad debts? has it also occurred to the reader that often the lord is obliged, because we do not use for him, as good stewards, that with which he has been pleased to intrust us, to allow bad debts to be made? consider these things, dear christian reader, you who are engaged in business. if you were engaged in mercantile affairs, connected with hundreds of thousands of pounds, you may by the help of god, be preserved year after year from making bad debts, though several millions of pounds should be turned in the course of a few years, provided you keep before you that you are the lord's steward, and carry on business for him; whilst, on the other hand, thousands of pounds may be lost in one single year, out of only a comparatively small business, because he who carries it on "withholds more than is meet, and therefore it tends to poverty," the lord being obliged by bad debts (as they are called), which he uses as one of his rods, to deprive his servants of that which was not used aright. the review of the year ending may, , presents us with the following results:-- there have been during this period four day schools _entirely supported_ by the funds of this institution. there are at present in these four day schools children. in addition to the entire support of these four day schools, six schools were assisted with money, or books, or copies of the holy scriptures, or both money and books. there was one sunday school, in which there were children, _entirely supported_ by the funds of this institution; and six others were _assisted_. there has been, since the formation of the institution, one adult school connected with it, the expenses of which have been _entirely_ borne by the institution, and in which, since march , , altogether , adults have been instructed. the number at present on the books is . there were also two other adult schools _assisted_ during the past year. the total amount of means which has been expended during the last twenty-three years in connection with the schools, which have been either entirely or in part supported by the funds of this institution, amounts to £ , , s. d. the number of bibles, testaments, and portions of the holy scriptures, which have been circulated since may , , is as follows:-- bibles sold, . bibles given away, , . testaments sold, . testaments given away, . copies of the psalms sold, . other small portions of the holy scriptures sold, . there have been circulated since march , , through the medium of this institution, , bibles, , testaments, copies of the psalms, and , other small portions of the holy scriptures. the total amount of the funds of this institution spent on the circulation of the holy scriptures, since march , , is £ , , s. ½d. the amount spent during the past year, £ , s. ½d. some time since a brother in the lord wrote to me that he had it in his heart to visit from house to house, in a large manufacturing town in yorkshire, and, if possible, to supply each house with a tract, and to seek out persons who were destitute of copies of the holy scriptures. i supplied him, therefore, with , gospel tracts and bibles, and subsequently with more bibles, and finally with , more tracts and bibles. the third object of this institution is, to aid missionary efforts. during the past year has been spent of the funds of the institution for this object, the sum of £ , , s. ½d. by this sum seventy-four laborers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, have been to a greater or less degree assisted. the year before last, i had been enabled to spend on this part of the work more than during any previous year; but the last year i was, by god's help, enabled not only to disburse for this object as much as during the previous year, but £ , s. ½d. more. for this privilege i feel grateful; yet i long to be permitted by the lord to do much more still. but whilst it has been a source of joy to me to be able to assist seventy-four servants of christ in many parts of the world, that which was far more than this a cause of thankfulness, was, that almost week by week, and often repeatedly in the same week, i had refreshing intelligence from the brethren whom i sought to help. the letters of these brethren exhibit the fact that the aid conveyed through mr. m. was most timely, coming often in the hour of sore need. they also give assurance that their labors had been singularly blessed to the conversion of the heathen, and of the ignorant and deluded among whom they preached. the total amount of the funds of the institution which has been spent on missionary operations, since march , , is £ , , s. d. there has been laid out for tracts, from may , , to may , , the sum of £ , s. ½d.; and there have been circulated within the last year , , tracts and books. the sum total which has been expended on this object, since nov. , , amounts to £ , , s. ¾d. the total number of all the tracts and books which have been circulated since nov. , , is , , . letters from those to whom tracts were sent for distribution, convey the intelligence that in very many instances the tracts were blessed to the conversion of sinners. at the commencement of the last period there were orphans in the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol. during the past year there were admitted into it orphans, making in all. when the last report was published, there were orphans waiting for admission. since then more destitute orphans, bereaved of both parents by death, and some only a few weeks old, have been applied for to be admitted, making , in all. of these , we were only able to receive , as has been stated, and either died or were otherwise provided for, as their relatives or friends have informed us, so that there are still waiting for admission. christian reader, think of these destitute orphans, bereaved of both parents! i have now, however, before me the most pleasant prospect, if the lord permit, of being able to receive of them in about three months, and also of being permitted to build the third house for more. _without any one having been personally applied to for anything_ by me, the sum of £ , , s. ½d. has been given to me for the orphans, _as the result of prayer to god_, since the commencement of the work, which sum includes the £ , , s. ¼d. which was the cost of the building, fitting up, and furnishing of the present new orphan house, and the £ , , s. d., which had been received up to may , , for the building fund, and the £ , , s. d., the balance of the current expenses. it may also be interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which has been given for the other objects, since the commencement of the work, amounts to £ , , s. ¼d.; and that which has come in by the sale of bibles, since the commencement, amounts to £ , , s. ½d.; by sale of tracts, £ , , s. d.; and by the payments of the children in the day schools, from the commencement, £ , , s. ½d. the lord is pleased to continue to allow us to see fruit in connection with the orphan work, with reference to those who are _now_ under our care, and we hear still again and again of cases in which those who were _formerly_ under our care, have been led to declare themselves openly for the lord, besides those in whom we saw the work of grace manifestly begun before they left the orphan house. chapter xxiv. conclusion. - . the house for four hundred opened--prayer more than answered--the resort in trouble--an outpouring of the spirit on the orphans--land for a new building purchased--"but one life to spend for god"--"scattering, yet increasing"--a memorable year--the germ of the irish revival--letter from an orphan--the fruit of six months' prayer--the results of the work--revival among the orphans. under date of nov. , , mr. m. writes:-- the long looked-for and long prayed-for day had now arrived when the desire of my heart was granted to me, to be able to open the house for four hundred additional orphans. much had i labored in prayer and active engagements to accomplish what was to be done previously; and now things were so far advanced as that the new house was ready for use; and a few days after we began to receive the children into it. how precious this was to me, such will be able to enter into, who, having day by day prayed for a blessing for seven years, and often repeatedly on the same day, at last obtain the desire of their heart. yet this blessing came not unexpectedly to me, but had been looked for, and had, in the full assurance of faith, been expected to be obtained in god's own time. feb. , . as far as i am able to judge, i have now all i require in the way of pecuniary means for the third house also, so that i am able to accomplish the full enlargement of the orphan work to one thousand orphans. by the conclusion of the year under consideration, mr. m. had received, from all sources, thirty-five thousand three hundred and thirty-five pounds nine shillings threepence toward the new orphan houses, "being actually three hundred and thirty-five pounds nine shillings threepence more than i had been from the commencement praying for." the following circumstance, connected with the maintenance and care of the orphans, exhibits the reliance placed upon prayer and faith for relief in every exigency:-- towards the end of november, , i was most unexpectedly informed that the boiler of our heating apparatus at the new orphan house, no. , leaked very considerably, so that it was impossible to go through the winter with such a leak. our heating apparatus consists of a large cylinder boiler, inside of which the fire is kept, and with which boiler the water pipes which warm the rooms are connected. hot air is also connected with this apparatus. this now was my position. the boiler had been considered suited for the work of the winter; the having had ground to suspect its being worn out, and not to have done anything towards its being replaced by a new one, and to have said i will trust in god regarding it, would be careless presumption, but not faith in god. it would be the counterfeit of faith. the boiler is entirely surrounded by brickwork; its state, therefore, could not be known without taking down the brickwork; this, if needless, would be rather injurious to the boiler than otherwise; and as, year after year, for eight winters, we had had no difficulty in this way, we had not anticipated it now. but suddenly and most unexpectedly, at the commencement of the winter, this difficulty occurred. what then was to be done? for the children, especially the younger infants, i felt deeply concerned that they might not suffer through want of warmth. but how were we to obtain warmth? the introduction of a _new_ boiler would, in all probability, take many weeks. the _repairing_ of the boiler was a questionable matter, on account of the greatness of the leak; but, if not, nothing could be said of it, till the brick-chamber in which the boiler, with hazard's patent heating apparatus, is inclosed, was, at least in part, removed; but that would, at least as far as we could judge, take days, and what was to be done in the mean time to find warm rooms for three hundred children? it naturally occurred to me to introduce temporary gas stoves, but, on further weighing the matter, it was found that we should be unable to heat our very large rooms with gas except we had very many stoves, which we could not introduce, as we had not a sufficient quantity of gas to spare from our lighting apparatus. moreover, for each of these stoves we needed a small chimney, to carry off the impure air. this mode of heating, therefore, though applicable to a hall, a staircase, or a shop, would not suit our purposes. i also thought of the temporary introduction of arnott's stoves; but they would be unsuitable, as we needed chimneys, long chimneys, for them, as they would have been of a temporary kind, and therefore must go out of the windows. on this account, the uncertainty of its answering in our case, the disfigurement of the rooms almost permanently, led me to see it needful to give up this plan also. but what was to be done? gladly would i have paid one hundred pounds if thereby the difficulty could have been overcome, and the children not be exposed to suffer for many days from being in cold rooms. at last i determined on falling entirely into the hands of god, who is very merciful and of tender compassion, and i decided on having, at all events, the brick-chamber opened, to see the extent of the damage, and to see whether the boiler might be repaired, so as to carry us through the winter. the day was fixed when the workmen were to come, and all the necessary arrangements were made. the fire, of course, had to be let out while the repairs were going on. but now see. after the day was fixed for the repairs, a bleak north wind set in. it began to blow either on thursday or friday before the wednesday afternoon when the fire was to be let out. now came the first really cold weather which we had in the beginning of last winter, during the first days of december. what was to be done? the repairs could not be put off. i now asked the lord for two things, viz. that he would be pleased to change the north wind into a south wind, and that he would give to the workmen "a mind to work;" for i remembered how much nehemiah accomplished in fifty-two days, whilst building the walls of jerusalem, because "the people had a mind to work." well, the memorable day came. the evening before, the bleak north wind blew still; but on the wednesday the south wind blew: exactly as i had prayed. the weather was so mild that no fire was needed. the brickwork is removed, the leak is found out very soon, the boiler-makers begin to repair in good earnest. about half-past eight in the evening, when i was going to leave the new orphan house for my home, i was informed at the lodge that the acting principal of the firm whence the boiler-makers came was arrived, to see how the work was going on, and whether he could in any way speed the matter. i went immediately into the cellar, therefore, to see him with the men, to seek to expedite the business. in speaking to the principal of this, he said in their hearing, "the men will work late this evening, and come very early again to-morrow." "we would rather, sir," said the leader, "work all night." then remembered i the second part of my prayer, that god would give the men "a mind to work." thus it was: by the morning the repair of the boiler was accomplished, the leak was stopped, though with great difficulty, and within about thirty hours the brickwork was up again and the fire in the boiler; and all the time the south wind blew so mildly that there was not the least need of a fire. here, then, is one of our difficulties which was overcome by prayer and faith. for nearly three months all went on well; but at the end of february another leak appeared, which was worse than the previous one. but over this also we were helped through prayer, so that without any real inconvenience the repairs were accomplished within about thirty hours. from that time the lord has not tried us any further in this way. while i am writing this it is fine warm weather, and i have ordered in both houses the fires to be discontinued in the heating apparatuses, and, the lord willing, a new boiler will of course be substituted. feb. , . "from newton" one pound. to-day i took the first active steps towards the building of the third house, when immediately afterwards i was informed by letter that a lady in london, an entire stranger to me, had ordered her bankers to send me three hundred pounds for the support of the orphans. i was also further informed in the evening that in two weeks eight hundred pounds shall be paid to me for the work of the lord. the three hundred pounds was sent the next day, and the eight hundred pounds a fortnight after. see how, with enlargement of the work, the lord keeps pace with the expenses, helping when help is really needed, often also giving beforehand. during the year - , twenty-four schools were supported or assisted out of the funds of the institution, three thousand nine hundred and sixty-three bibles and portions of scripture were circulated, and three thousand five hundred and thirty-one pounds expended for the aid of eighty-two laborers in various parts of the world. from these men mr. müller received letters containing the delightful intelligence that their labor had been blessed of the lord. after giving copious extracts from these letters, mr. m. adds:-- such extracts might be greatly multiplied, and, as i said before, a large volume might easily be written; but space forbids me giving any more. i feel it, however, due to the christian reader to state that there is good reason to believe that many hundreds of souls have been brought to the knowledge of the lord through the instrumentality of these brethren within the last year; and may we not hope that even that which is known is not nearly all that the lord has been pleased to accomplish through them? how seasonably, often, the help for which i had labored in prayer has come to these dear servants of christ, the following extracts from letters may show, though hundreds of similar letters have been received by me within the last twenty years. may , . "i gratefully acknowledge the lord's goodness in the receipt of your check for ten pounds. being brought low, my dear wife and myself, when specially waiting on him last evening, pleaded with the lord that he would graciously send a supply this morning; and again we have the proof of his love by your letter and its contents. bless the lord, o my soul! with many thanks to you, in which my dear wife unites, i am," etc. feb. , . "o, how my heart goes out towards you for your affectionate remembrance of us in our low estate! _not a shilling_ had we in the house, nor any human prospect of any money, when your remittance of five pounds reached us." a laborer on the continent writes on dec. , : "we received yesterday your kind note inclosing eight pounds. the very day you sent your letter to the post-office, the th instant, was a day set apart for prayer, with fasting, to ask the lord for means." there were also circulated during the year , , tracts and books. letters received from the persons who distributed them show that they were greatly blessed in awakening and converting souls. at the commencement of the last period there were orphans in the new orphan house on ashley down, bristol. during the past year there were admitted into it, and into the new house for , altogether orphans. the total number of orphans who have been under our care since april , , is . the opening of the new house for orphans, which is not a wing of the house that has been before in existence, but an entirely distinct establishment, and larger than the former, has made it needful to distinguish between these two houses in this way, that the house which was opened on june , , is now called the new orphan house no. , and the one which was opened on nov. , , is called the new orphan house no. . the new orphan house no. is fitted up for the accommodation of orphan girls above seven years of age, orphan boys above seven years, and male and female orphans from their earliest days, till they are about seven or eight years of age. the infants, after having passed the age of seven or eight years, are removed into the different departments for older boys and girls. the new orphan house no. is fitted up for female infant orphans, and for elder female orphans. _without any one having been personally applied to for anything_ by me, the sum of £ , , s. d. has been given to me for the orphans, _as the result of prayer to god_, since the commencement of the work, which sum includes the amount received for the building fund for the houses already built and the one to be built. it may also be interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which has been given for the other objects, since the commencement of the work, amounts to £ , , s. ½d.; and that which has come in by the sale of bibles since the commencement amounts to £ , , s. ½d.; by sale of tracts, £ , , s. ½d., and by the payments of children in the day schools, from the commencement, £ , , s. ¼d. during the past twenty-two years the spirit of god has been again and again working among the orphans who were under our care, so that very many of them have been brought to the knowledge of the lord; but we never had so great a work, and at the same time one so satisfactory, _within so short a time_, as during the past year. i will enter somewhat into details for the benefit of the reader. there are one hundred and forty elder girls in the new orphan house no. , of whom, at the beginning of the last period, ten were considered to be believers. on may , , the death of an orphan, caroline bailey, took place. the death of this beloved girl, who had known the lord several months before she fell asleep, seems to have been used by the lord as a means of answering in a goodly measure our daily prayers for the conversion of the orphans. it pleased god at the beginning of the last period mightily to work among the orphans, so that all at once, within a few days, without any apparent cause, except it be the peaceful end of the beloved caroline bailey, more than fifty of these girls were brought to be under concern about their souls, and some with deep conviction of sin accompanying it, so that they were exceedingly distressed. and how is it now? my readers may ask; for young persons are often apparently much concerned about the things of god, but these impressions pass away. true, dear reader, i have seen this myself, having had to do with many thousands of children and young persons within the last thirty years. had, therefore, this work among the orphans begun within the last few days, or even weeks, i should have passed it over in silence; but more than a year has now elapsed since it commenced, and it will, therefore, give joy to the godly reader to hear that in addition to those ten who were previously believers, and of whom one has been sent to service, there are twenty-three girls respecting whom for several months there has been no doubt as to their being believers; two died in the faith within the year; and there are thirty-eight more who are awakened and under concern about their souls, but respecting whom we cannot speak as yet so decidedly. all this regards only one branch of the orphan establishment, the elder girls of the house no. . in addition to this, i am glad also to be able to state that among the other girls in the new house no. , and among the boys also, some are interested about the things of god; yea, our labors begin already to be blessed to the hearts of some of the new received orphans. continuing the narrative of the progress of the new orphan houses, mr. m. writes under date of oct. , :-- in the last report i stated that i was looking out for land for the third house. regarding this, i waited day by day upon god. but for many months it pleased him to exercise my faith and patience. when, more than once i seemed to have obtained my desire, i again appeared further from it than ever. however, i continued to pray and to exercise faith, being fully assured that the lord's time was not yet come, and that, when it was, he would help. and so it proved. at last, in september, , i obtained eleven and a half acres of land, quite close to the new orphan houses no. and no. , and only separated from them by the road. on these eleven and a half acres of land a house is built. the price for house and land was three thousand six hundred and thirty-one pounds fifteen shillings, being more money than i should have seen it right to expend on the site, had it not been of the utmost importance that the third house should be quite near the other two, to facilitate the superintendence and direction of the establishment. thus, at last, this prayer also was answered, concerning which i had been waiting upon god for so many months, and concerning which the difficulties as to sight and reason seemed so great, but respecting which my mind was continually at peace; for i was sure that, as i was doing god's work, he would, in his own time, help me in this particular also. the longer i go on in this service, the more i find that prayer and faith can overcome every difficulty. having now obtained land, and so much, my desire was to make the best use of it, and to build for four hundred orphans, instead of for three hundred, as i had previously purposed to do. after having had several meetings with the architects, and finding that it was possible to accommodate, with comparatively little more expense, four hundred and fifty orphans, instead of four hundred, i finally determined on that number, so as to have eventually one thousand one hundred and fifty orphans under my care, instead of one thousand, as for several years previously had been contemplated. the greatness of the number of destitute children bereaved of both parents by death,--together with the greatness of the lord's blessing, which has during all these many years rested upon my service in this way,--and the greatness of the lord's help in giving me assistants and helpers in the work as well as means,--and, above all, the deep realization that i have but one life to spend for god on earth, and that that one life is but a brief life;--these were the reasons which led me to this further enlargement. to this determination of a still further enlargement _i came solely in dependence upon the living god for help_, though the increase of expense for the building fund, on account of the purchase of the land, and accommodation to be built for the additional one hundred and fifty orphans more than had been from the beginning contemplated, would not be less than from six thousand to seven thousand five hundred pounds _more_ than i had originally expected the total of the premises, which were to be erected, would cost; and though, in addition to this, the yearly additional expenditure for the maintenance of these one hundred and fifty orphans, beyond the intended number of one thousand, could not be less than one thousand eight hundred pounds a year. but none of these difficulties discouraged me. nov. . it is this day a twelvemonth since we began to receive fresh children into the new orphan house no. . since then the mercies of the lord have been very many, and his help has been very great. there have been received from nov. , , to nov. , , altogether three hundred and eight orphans. such a year i never spent in this service,--one so full of help and blessing in every way. jan. , . received seven thousand pounds, which was entirely left at my disposal, as the work of god in which i am engaged might more especially require it. when i decided at the end of october, , to build for four hundred and fifty orphans, instead of three hundred, i needed several thousand pounds more, and was fully assured that god would give me the required means, because in reliance upon him, and for the honor of his name, i had determined on this enlargement; and now see, esteemed reader, how the lord honored this my faith in him! jan. . from westerham, in eighty-eight small donations, £ , s. d. without my knowledge these eighty-eight small donations had been contributed, and were sent to me. may . during the year now closing, four thousand one hundred and forty-nine-pounds seventeen shillings fivepence was expended in aid of ninety-one brethren laboring in england, scotland, ireland, belgium, france, switzerland, sardinia, canada, nova scotia, east indies, china, and british guiana. also, during the past year , , tracts and books have been circulated. at the commencement of the last period there were four hundred and ninety-nine orphans in the new orphan houses no. and no. . on may , , there were six hundred and seventy-two orphans in the two houses, _i. e._ in no. , , and in no. , . the total number of orphans who have been under our care since april , , is , . though during the past year we have not had so great and so sudden a work of the spirit of god going on among the orphans as during the previous year, when, within a few days, above fifty out of one department of one hundred and forty girls were suddenly brought under deep concern about their souls; yet, the blessing of the lord has not been withheld even spiritually. there are already many caring about the things of god among the four hundred and twenty-four orphans who were received within the last eighteen months, and who ask it, as a privilege, to be allowed, in the summer, to take their bibles with them to bed, so that, should they awake in the morning before the bell is rung, they may be able to read it. out of the thirteen girls who were sent to service, nine had been believers for some time before they left the establishment. when i began the orphan work, one of the especial objects which i had in view was to benefit the church of christ at large, by the accounts which i might be enabled to write in connection with this service; for i expected, from the beginning, to have many answers to prayer granted to me, and i confidently anticipated that the recording of them would be beneficial to believers, in leading them to look for answers to their own prayers, and in encouraging them to bring all their own necessities before god in prayer. i likewise firmly believed that many unconverted persons would, by means of such writings, be led to see the reality of the things of god. as i expected, so it has been. in very many instances the reading of the reports of this institution, or the "narrative of the lord's dealings" with me, has been blessed by god to the conversion of those who knew not our lord jesus. in thousands of instances, likewise, believers have been benefited through them, being thereby comforted, encouraged, led more simply to the holy scriptures, led more fully to trust in god for everything; in a word, led, in a greater or less degree, to walk in the same path of faith in which the writer, by the help of god, is walking. the thousands of instances of blessing which have been brought before me during the past twenty-four years (for almost daily i have heard of fresh cases, and often of several on the same day), have only still further led me to earnestness in prayer, that the lord would condescend to use these publications still more, and make them a blessing to many tens of thousands of his children, and to many tens of thousands of the unconverted. and now the reader will rejoice with me, when he reads what follows. i am the more led to relate the following, that the godly reader more than ever may be encouraged to prayer, and, also, that an _accurate_ statement may be given of this fact, which has been already referred to in many public places in connection with revival-meetings, and which likewise has been several times stated in print. in november, , a young irishman, mr. james mcquilkin, was brought to the knowledge of the lord. soon after his conversion he saw my narrative advertised. he had a great desire to read it, and procured it accordingly, about january, . god blessed it greatly to his soul, especially in showing to him what could be obtained by prayer. he said to himself something like this: see what mr. müller obtains simply by prayer. thus _i_ may obtain blessing by prayer. he now set himself to pray that the lord would give him a spiritual companion, one who knew the lord. soon after, he became acquainted with a young man who knew the lord. these two began a prayer meeting in one of the sunday schools in the parish of connor. having his prayer answered in obtaining a spiritual companion, mr. james mcquilkin asked the lord to lead him to become acquainted with some more of his hidden ones. soon after, the lord gave him two more young men, who knew the lord previously, as far as he could judge. in autumn, , mr. james mcquilkin stated to these three young men, given him in answer to believing prayer, what blessing he had derived from my narrative,--how it had led him to see the power of believing prayer; and he proposed that they should meet for prayer, to seek the lord's blessing upon their various labors in the sunday schools, prayer meetings, and preachings of the gospel. accordingly, in autumn, , these four young men met together for prayer in a small schoolhouse near the village of kells, in the parish of connor, every friday evening. on january , , the lord gave them the first remarkable answer to prayer in the conversion of a farm servant. he was taken into the number, and thus there were five who gave themselves to prayer. shortly after, another young man, about twenty years old, was converted; there were now six. this greatly encouraged the other three who first had met with mr. james mcquilkin. others now were converted, who were also taken into the number; but only believers were admitted to these fellowship meetings, in which they read, prayed, and offered to each other a few thoughts from the scriptures. these meetings, and others for the preaching of the gospel, were held in the parish of connor, antrim, ireland. up to this time all was going on most quietly, though many souls were converted. there were no physical prostrations, as afterwards. about christmas, , a young man from ahoghill, who had come to live at connor, and who had been converted through this little company of believers, went to see his friends at ahoghill, and spoke to them about their own souls and the work of god at connor. his friends desired to see some of these converts. accordingly, mr. james mcquilkin, with two of the first who met for prayer, went, on february , , and held a meeting at ahoghill in one of the presbyterian churches. some believed, some mocked, and others thought there was a great deal of presumption in these young converts; yet many wished to have another meeting. this was held by the same three young men, on february , ; and now the spirit of god began to work, and to work mightily. souls were converted, and from that time conversions multiplied rapidly. some of these converts went to other places, and carried the spiritual fire, so to speak, with them. the blessed work of the spirit of god spread in _many places_. on april , , mr. james mcquilkin went to ballymena, held a meeting there in one of the presbyterian churches, and on april held another meeting in another of the presbyterian churches. several were convinced of sin, and the work of the spirit of god went forward in ballymena. on may , , he went to belfast. during the first week, there were meetings held in five different presbyterian churches, and from that time the blessed work commenced at belfast. in all these visits he was accompanied and helped by mr. jeremiah meneely, one of the three young men who first met with him after the reading of my narrative. from this time the work of the holy ghost spread further and further; for the young converts were used by the lord to carry the truth from one place to another. such was the _beginning_ of that mighty work of the holy spirit, which has led to the conversion of many tens of thousands, and which is still going on even in ireland, and the blessed results of which are still felt in scotland, england, and other countries. it is almost needless to add, that in no degree the honor is due to the instruments, but to the holy spirit alone; yet these facts are stated in order that it may be seen what delight god has in answering abundantly the believing prayers of his children. seeing, then, how greatly he has condescended to own these records regarding his willingness to listen to prayer, made to him in the name of the lord jesus, i am delighted, at the close of another year, in connection with this institution, to recount a few of the very many instances in which god has been pleased to answer our prayers, and to grant blessing to rest upon the various objects of this institution; yea, blessing greater far than during any part of the past twenty-six years, while it has been in operation. up to may , , mr. m. received for the building fund the sum of £ , , s. ½d. in may, , i had in hand for the bible, school, tract, and missionary funds, £ , , s. ½d., a balance far greater than i ever had had before. this arose not from the fact of unwillingness to spend the means which the lord had been pleased to intrust me with, but chiefly from the fact that some large donations had come in during the last part of the previous year; and i had not, as a steward who desires to act in the fear of god, had opportunities brought before me to spend all. but much as the balance was, all the various schools, directly or indirectly connected with the institution, required means; the circulation of the holy scriptures and tracts, which objects increase more and more, needed much, in order to enter every suitable open door; and lastly, and especially, the ninety-one preachers of the gospel in various parts of the world, on my list on may , , required a large sum to aid them. all these various objects, therefore, needed so much, that the balance, large as it was, would have lasted but a short time, had not the living god, who has been my helper from the beginning, and to whom i have looked, and looked alone, opened, in answer to our prayers, his bountiful hands, and sent in more before the balance was expended; so that, though without any human probability of meeting even one half of the probable expenses in connection with these objects, not only have i been able to meet the whole, but also, so bountifully has god helped, that though the expenses were £ , , s. ¾d. more than during the preceding year, i had not only enough, but even a larger balance was left than at the end of the previous year. jan. , . on this day i received a donation of three thousand pounds, of which i took for these objects two thousand pounds. day by day, during this period also, i had been asking the lord for means for these objects; and day by day i had been entreating him that he would be pleased to enable me to accomplish during this period as much as during the former one in the way of circulating the holy scriptures and tracts, and in aiding missionary operations, though i had no natural prospect whatever of being able to do so. my eyes were alone directed to the living god, who year after year for many years past had allowed me to increase the operations of these three objects, notwithstanding the continual increase of expense in connection with the orphan work; and thus i expected, fully expected, though all appearance was against it, that during this period also i should be again helped by god, the living god. think, then, christian reader, how great my spiritual refreshment, when, by this one donation in a great measure, i saw these my daily prayers being again answered. in like manner may you, in your sphere of service, in your family affairs, in your business, in your profession, in your various temporal or spiritual necessities, have your prayers answered. dec. , . to-day it is twenty-four years since the orphan work commenced. what has god wrought! there have been received since then altogether , orphans, and during the last two years and two months alone , so greatly has the work increased of late. we have now orphans under our care. dec. . the following letter was received to-day from an apprentice:-- most beloved sir: with feelings of gratitude and great thankfulness to you for all the kindness i experienced whilst under your care, and for now apprenticing me to a suitable trade whereby i can earn my own living, i write you these few lines. i arrived at my destined abode in safety, and was kindly received by my master and mistress. dear sir, i thank you for the education, food, clothing, and for every comfort; but, above all, for the instruction from god's word which i received when in that happy orphan house; for it was there i was brought to know jesus as my saviour; and i hope to have him as my guide through all my difficulties, temptations, and trials in this world; and, having him for my guide, i hope to prosper in my trade, and thereby show my gratitude to you for all the kindness i have received. please to accept my gratitude and thanks; and i hope you will be spared many, many more years, to care for poor destitute children like me. i am sure i shall often look back with pleasure and regret to the time i was in that happy home;--with pleasure that i lived there, and regret that i left it. begging you to accept my grateful thanks, and with my kind love to mr. l----, mr. b----, mr. w----, and mr. s----, i am, dear sir, yours gratefully, * * * * the christian reader, i doubt not, in perusing such letters, will with us thank god for condescending to give such blessing, such abundant blessing, to our labors. feb. , . two pounds ten shillings sixpence, with the following letter:-- my dear brother in the lord jesus christ: will you please to accept an order for two pounds ten shillings sixpence by the same post, for the dear orphans under your care? the history of this small sum is as follows. about seven and a half years ago your narrative was put into my hands, which the lord very greatly blessed to my soul. six years and eleven months ago i was enabled to cast myself, my wife and family, upon the lord, and look to _him alone_ for the supply of our temporal necessities while laboring in his glorious cause. from that time to the present we have had no claims upon any person for a single penny; nor have we made known our wants to any, or applied to any person for help, but to our heavenly father alone; and he has supplied our need and not suffered us to be confounded, blessed be his name! my dear wife, as well as myself, from the very first had a strong desire to help you a _little_ in your blessed work of love and labor of faith; but, for a long time, owing to the continued ill-health of my wife, and the growing expenses of our family, we never seemed to have any money to spare; so all we did was to _wish, desire_, and _talk about it_, and say how happy we should be if the lord would enable us to do so. at length, we both felt we were acting wrong, and on the eighth of august last we solemnly decided we would give the lord back a tenth of the money he was pleased to send us, though at that time we were very poor, i may add in deeper poverty than we had ever been before; yet, under those circumstances, we were enabled in the strength of the lord to come to the above decision and act up to it that very morning; and the peace and joy we both felt it is in vain for me to attempt to describe. the lord has kept us firm ever since, and instead of having less for our own use, we have had even more; so, dear sir, this sum is the fruit of six months' prayers. pardon me for troubling you with so long an account of so trifling a sum; but i want you to bless our heavenly father for his goodness to us his unworthy servants, and to remember us in your petitions at a throne of grace. i am, my dear brother, yours very affectionately and respectfully, * * * * during the year - there have been received for the orphans , separate sums. of these there were , under s., above s. and not exceeding s., above s. and not exceeding £ , above £ and not exceeding £ , above £ and not exceeding £ , above £ and not exceeding £ , above £ and not exceeding £ , above £ and under £ , of £ , of £ , s. d., of £ , s., of £ , s., of £ , s. d., of £ , of £ , and of £ , . among these donations were some from east india, australia, cape of good hope, saxony, holland, south america, united states, from vessels on the ocean, and from missionaries among the heathen. during the year under consideration twenty-three schools in england were supported or aided by the funds of the institution. in all of these the teachers are persons of piety, and instruction is given not only in secular knowledge, but in the way of salvation. without reckoning the orphans, , souls have been brought under _habitual_ instruction in the things of god in these various schools; besides the many thousands in the schools in the various parts of england, ireland, scotland, british guiana, the west indies, the east indies, etc., which have been to a greater or less degree assisted. the total amount of means which has been expended during the last twenty-six years in connection with the schools, which have been either entirely or in part supported by the funds of this institution, amounts to £ , , s. ½d. the number of bibles, testaments, and portions of the holy scriptures, which have been circulated since may , , is as follows: bibles sold, . bibles given away, , . testaments sold, . testaments given away, . copies of the psalms sold, . other small portions of the holy scriptures sold, . there have been circulated since march , , through the medium of this institution, , bibles, , testaments, copies of the psalms, and , other small portions of the holy scriptures. the amount of the funds of the institution spent during the past year on the circulation of the holy scriptures is £ , s. d. the total amount spent since march , , is £ , , s. ½d. during the past year has been spent of the funds of the institution, in aid of missionary efforts at home and abroad, the sum of £ , , s. d. by this sum one hundred and one laborers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the world, have been to a greater or less degree assisted. it is an interesting fact that these laborers are located in england, scotland, ireland, belgium, france, switzerland, sardinia, canada, nova scotia, east india, china, and british guiana. the laborers aided by the institution were peculiarly blessed during the year - . while the preaching of those laboring in _foreign_ lands was very useful, the brethren preaching in ireland and scotland were signally favored with success, and were permitted to see in a wonderful measure the fruit of their prayers and toils. a single extract only can be given from the letter of a laborer in scotland. a devoted servant of christ has been laboring in a manufacturing town in scotland, where, by means of schools, bible classes, visiting from house to house, and preaching the gospel among thousands of the most wretched, most debased, and most ignorant, he seeks to win souls for the lord. in this service he has been going on year after year. in a measure his labors had been blessed up to the period of the last report, but far more abundantly since, as the following account, given by himself to me in a letter dated oct. , , will show:-- "this month, through which we have passed, has brought me to a point in my history which for years i have contemplated and looked forward to with deeper and more intense desire than to any anticipated event in my whole life. more than thirty years ago there sprang up in my soul a longing and craving for the effusion of the holy ghost on the church and on the world, such as would extend throughout the whole of scotland. for this i have labored, and spoken, and prayed increasingly. as i grew older, the craving for this blessing grew stronger. to see it became the ruling passion of my soul, and, as years rolled away, my hope of seeing it realized strengthened apace. on this season of expected blessing we seem at length to have entered. the religious movement is creeping steadily along the whole of the west of scotland. it has not acquired a sudden or very powerful momentum. we are, so far as i can judge, in the initiatory stage in all the points where the work has found a settlement. a sound has gone out as from the lord; the rumor travels on, and in its course awakens the careless, opens the ear, quickens the attention, and everywhere is making preparation for something coming. this note of preparation is calling the people together. their ear is open to listen. in every place this hearing is bringing faith in its train; men are turning to god; intensity is given to those silent cases of conviction where for months or years there has been concern ebbing and flowing with circumstances. not a few of these have come to light through their concern all at once ripening into deep distress. forced out of the old ruts in which they have moved, they are forced to venture their all into the hands of jesus, and are set at liberty. such has been the process at work here. i am continually falling in with solitary cases, and a number of these have found peace. it would take far more time than i can spare to record their history, and how they obtained deliverance." the total amount of the funds of the institution which has been spent on missionary operations since march , , is £ , , s. d. there has been laid out for tracts and books, from may , , to may , , the sum of £ , , s. ¾d.; and there have been circulated within the last year , , tracts and books. the sum total which has been expended on this object, since nov. , , amounts to £ , , s. ½d. the total number of all the tracts and books which have been circulated since nov. , , is , , . during the past year there were again circulated , tracts and books more than during the year before. the great number of laborers for god who have been raised up for service within the last two years in various parts of the world, and the mighty working of the spirit of god, which has created in multitudes a desire gladly to receive tracts and books, account for this. nor is there in these two particulars a decrease, but a continual increase. so great has been the call for tracts that of late we have sent out repeatedly , in one week, for gratuitous circulation, and sometimes even more than this. when the mighty working of the spirit of god commenced in ireland, i sought from the beginning to send very large supplies of tracts to belfast and elsewhere, in order that thus the holy flame might be fanned, as it were, and that in the very outset the simplicity of the gospel might be set before the young converts. about two millions of the tracts and books circulated during the past year were given away _gratuitously_. hundreds of believers have been engaged in spreading them abroad, not merely in many parts of england, scotland, and ireland, but in various other parts of the world. at the commencement of the last period, there were orphans in the new orphan houses no. and no. . during the past year were admitted into the two houses orphans. on may , , there were just orphans under our care, our full number in the two houses, _i. e._ in no. , , in no. , . the total number of orphans who have been under our care since april , , is , . _without any one having been personally applied to for anything_ by me, the sum of £ , , s. has been given to me for the orphans, _as the result of prayer to god_, since the commencement of the work, which sum includes the amount received for the building fund for the houses already built and the one to be built. it may also be interesting to the reader to know that the total amount which has been given for the other objects since the commencement of the work amounts to £ , , s. d.; and that which has come in by the sale of bibles, since the commencement, amounts to £ , , s. ½d.; by sale of tracts, £ , , s. ¼d.; and by the payments of the children in the day schools, from the commencement, £ , , s. d. besides this, also, a great variety and number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, etc., have been given _for the use_ of the orphans. day after day, and year after year, by the help of god, we labor in prayer for the spiritual benefit of the orphans under our care. these our supplications, which have been for twenty-four years brought before the lord concerning them, have been abundantly answered in former years in the conversion of hundreds from among them. we have also had repeated seasons in which, within a short time, or even all at once, _many_ of the orphans were converted. such a season we had about three years since, when within a few days about sixty were brought to believe in the lord jesus; and such seasons we have had again twice during the past year. the first was in july, , when the spirit of god wrought so mightily in one school of girls, as that very many, yea, more than one half, were brought under deep concern about the salvation of their souls. this work, moreover, was not a mere momentary excitement; but, after more than eleven months have elapsed, there are concerning whom there is _full_ confidence as to their conversion, and concerning whom there is likewise a goodly measure of confidence, though not to the same amount as regarding the . there are therefore out of the orphans in that one school who are considered to have been converted in july, . this blessed and mighty work of the holy spirit cannot be traced to any particular cause. it was, however, a most precious answer to prayer. as such we look upon it, and are encouraged by it to further waiting upon god. the second season of the mighty working of the holy spirit among the orphans, during the past year, was at the end of january and the beginning of february, . the particulars of it are of the deepest interest. a very profitable pamphlet might be written on the subject. i have prayed again and again for guidance how to act, and have at last come to the decision _not_ to relate the details, lest the dear children, who would recognize themselves in the description, should be injured; for my experience of laboring twenty-six years among children, and of having had to deal with so _many very young believers_, has led me to the full conviction _that it is injurious to make them prominent_. if god makes them prominent by using them as evidently he is using children in these days, we have only to admire and to praise; but this is very different from ourselves making them prominent. i must therefore content myself by stating that this great work of the spirit of god in january and february, , began among the younger class of the children under our care, little girls of about six, seven, eight, and nine years old; then extended to the older girls, and then to the boys; so that within about ten days above of the orphans were stirred up to be anxious about their souls, and in _many_ instances found peace _immediately_, through faith in our lord jesus. they at once requested to be allowed to hold prayer meetings among themselves, and have had these meetings ever since. many of them also manifested a concern about the salvation of their companions and relations, and spoke or wrote to them about the way to be saved. should the believing reader desire to know how it has been with these children since the end of january and the beginning of february, our reply is, we have, in most cases, cause for thankfulness. the present state of the orphans, spiritually, is, that there are under our care, regarding whose conversion we have full confidence; regarding whom we have also confidence, though not to that full degree as concerning the ; and whom we consider in a hopeful state. to these are to be added the who were sent out as believers, and the three who died in the faith during the past year. it is to be remembered that very many of the children in the orphan houses are quite young, as we have received them from four months old and upward. during no year have we had greater cause for thanksgiving on account of the spiritual blessing among the children than during the last; and yet we look for further and greater blessing still. appendix. mr. müller is constantly receiving not only contributions in money, but a great variety of useful articles, which are regularly sent to a shop provided for their sale. the following list of such articles, given anonymously during the first six months of the year - , will not be without interest to the reader, as showing by what an endless diversity of means resources are furnished for the work in which mr. m. is engaged:-- june. a bead bag, a bouquet-holder, gilt brooches, a gilt bracelet, a waist-buckle, and an agate heart.-- pairs of knitted travelling shoes, a compass and thermometer, a court-plaster case, a guinea piece, half franc pieces, a copper coin, rings, a brooch, a gold pencil-case, a pair of earrings, top of a seal, and a gold waist-buckle.--a silver watch guard; a small brooch, a breastpin, and a ring.-- pairs of garters.--a sofa tidy.--a small stereoscopic box. frocks, shirts, pocket handkerchiefs, pairs of socks, nightcaps, kettle-holders, pairs of wristlets, thimbles, brooches, steel slides, a bracelet, and waist-buckle. a bead mat, bags, a penwiper, book-marks, and a scent-bag.--a pencil, pairs of spectacles, a smelling-bottle, a pocketbook, some gloves, stockings, combs, and various articles of clothing, etc., together with a half-sovereign. july. an old silver watch, an old metal watch, and an old shilling.-- coats, jacket, one waistcoat, pair of trousers, and pair of garters. dresses, a body, and shillings.-- penwipers, babies' shirts, mats, pair of baby's boots, nightcaps, pinafores, pairs of watch pockets, ribbon mat, pincushion, needlebooks, and book-markers.-- dolls, dolls' hats, a pair of bracelets, a pincushion, a needlebook, a shaving cloth, a sampler, pairs of cuffs, a kettle-holder, a penwiper, a pair of baby's shoes, a book-mark, a bag, a watch-guard, a pinafore, and a pamphlet.-- buckles, a smelling-bottle, some mock pearls, hair bracelets, a hair ring, and a wig. august. some fancy envelopes.--a ring, shirt studs, and a watch-hook.--a pattern for a collar.--a ring from stroud.-- new bonnets.--a brooch, a bracelet, a book-marker, some cuffs, a pattern for work, and some trimming.--a frame for ladies' work.--"from the friend at devizes," skirts of dresses, a jacket, and a shawl.--some pencil lead for polishing.--some knitting and sewing cotton.-- old wedding rings.-- balls.-- book-marks, postage-stamp cases, and pincushions. september. a parcel containing some worsted, some brass thimbles, bodkins, and needles.-- black ostrich feathers, white ditto, colored drawings.-- pairs of socks, pairs of stockings, and waistcoats.--a pair of patent renovators (or flesh gloves).--a small work-bag of silk and straw.--a guinea piece, a lace habit shirt, a pair of lace sleeves, and a french cambric handkerchief.-- collars, pocket handkerchief, and pair of sleeves.-- flannel petticoats, a table cover, a silver wine-strainer, a silver marrow spoon, sugar spoon, a punch ladle, chemises, and pinafores.--a small hamper of books.-- alpaca coat, check waistcoat, pair of trousers, pairs of shoes, travelling cap, pair of spectacles in case, pairs of boots, muffetees, pair of gaiters, pair of boots, copper pens, pair of slippers, black leather bag, pair of new boots, coat, waistcoat, pairs of gloves, pair of braces, a necktie, a dressing box, brushes, razors, a stiletto, a pair of spectacles, and pieces of teeth set in gold.-- book covers, small ditto, small box, ditto in one.--a large box of toys.--a collar.--a large tea chest, containing articles of ladies' dress, etc.--a dress, bodies, berthas, a waistband, a pair of cuffs, a feather, an ornament for the hair, some artificial flowers, some whalebone, and some pieces of ribbon.--a cloth mantle, a velvet jacket, and a muslin ditto. october. pairs of crotchet ladies' slippers, and pair of child's ditto.--a pair of gilt bracelets, a collar, a pair of cuffs, and a pair of worked sleeves.-- paper mats, a bead ditto, a plaister case, needlebooks, small cushions, pincushions, penwipers, a book-mark, little baskets, a little bag, a doll, a pair of candlestick ornaments, and napkin rings. the parcel also contained s. from "hephzibah."--an urn-stand, a bag, and a mat.--a collar.-- pence purses.-- dolls' bonnets.--"a canadian lady's purse."-- pairs of boots, pairs of shoes, and a single boot, all new. november. a box containing bonnets, muslin jackets, silk ditto, silk body, muslin dresses, silk ditto, barege skirt, pairs of fine stockings, pairs of coarse ditto, pairs of boots, stockings, chemises, pairs of drawers, nightdresses, some pieces of ribbon, and a few artificial flowers.-- pairs of night socks.--a riding habit, a box, a silk body, some velvet trimming, some satin ditto, waistbands, some fringe, some satin ribbon, a feather, a scarf, a veil, and a pair of woollen sleeves.-- silver coins.--a silver tablespoon, some satin trimming, and a frill.-- dresses, a skirt, a jacket, children's skirts, and frocks.--a small gold pencil-case, a gold breastpin, and a pair of small gold earrings.--a collar.-- antimacassars, and a baby's cap.-- silver coins, and a pair of silver shirt studs.-- boys' shirts.--a jacket and a feather.--a jacket, a pair of drawers, chemises, nightcaps, skirts, and body.-- pairs of new boots, and pairs of new shoes.--a crumb scraper. * * * * * mr. müller, as a faithful steward, renders an annual account of all the sums intrusted to him. appended (p. ) is the "auditor's report" for - , showing the total amount in hand for the year, including the building fund, to have been £ , , s. ¾d.--almost _three hundred and fifty thousand dollars_. mr. m. says:-- the audited accounts, together with the books containing the income and expenses, may be inspected by the donors. i particularly state this, because i do not publish a list of the donors, nor do i mention their names otherwise, in order that there may not be held out the least temptation of giving for the sake of worldly applause; but, at the same time, as i do this work in the light, it can bear the light, and therefore any donor can satisfy himself, if he please, that his donation is accounted for. to avoid mistakes, delays, and other difficulties, i would request that all letters for me should be directed to my house, no. , paul street, kingsdown, bristol. george mÜller. bristol, july , . the income and expenses of the institution for - . ======================================================================= the income of the first | the expenses of the first four objects from may , , | four objects from may , , to may , . | to may , . ----------------------------------+------------------------------------ £ s. d. | £ s. d. by balance in hand on | for all the schools may , , ½ | " bibles " donations , | " missionary " sale of articles | purposes , given for | the purpose | " tracts , ¾ " sale of tracts ¾ | " stationery " sale of bibles | " postage " payments of the | balance in hand on children in the day | may , , ½ schools | ------ -- -- | ------ -- -- £ , ¼ | £ , ¼ ======================================================================= the income for the orphans, from | the expenses for the orphans, from may , , to may , . | may , , to may , . ----------------------------------+------------------------------------ £ s. d. | £ s. d. ----------------------------------+------------------------------------ by balance in hand | current expen's in on may , , , | connection with the " donations in money , ½ | orphan houses. , " sale of articles | for the apprentices ½ given for the | " , copies of the purpose ½ | twentieth report " sale of reports | " postage and carriage " cash paid on behalf | of boxes of orphans, | and parcels ½ | " stationery ½ | balance in hand on | may , , ½ ------ -- -- | ------ -- -- £ , | £ , ===================================================================~~ income for the building fund, from may , , to may , . | ------------------------------------------------------------------+~~ £ s. d. | by amount received up to may , , | " donations in money , ½ | " sale of grass and rent of the field, | march , , to march , | " interest , | " drawbacks of property tax | ------ -- -- | £ , ½ | ~=================================================================== | expenditure in connection with the building fund. ~-+----------------------------------------------------------------- | £ s. d. | expended up to may , , | " for additional furniture, etc., | on the new orphan house, no. . ½ | " on the building of the | new orphan house, no. , | balance in hand on may , , | ------ -- -- | £ , ½ we have examined these accounts and find them correct. richard ball. robert h. richards. samuel butler. john meredith. bristol, june , . * * * * * valuable works published by gould and lincoln, washington street, boston. the christian life; social and individual. by peter bayne, m. a. mo, cloth, $ . . there is but one voice respecting this extraordinary book,--men of all denominations, in all quarters, agree in pronouncing it one of the most admirable works of the age. modern atheism; under its forms of pantheism, materialism, secularism, development, and natural laws. by james buchanan, d. d., l. l. d. mo, cloth, $ . . "the work is one of the most readable and solid which we have ever perused."--_hugh miller in the witness._ new england theocracy. from the german of uhden's history of the congregationalists of new england, with an introduction by neander. by mrs. h. c. conant, author of "the english bible," etc. mo, cloth, $ . . a work of rare ability and interest, presenting the early religious and ecclesiastical history of new england, from authentic sources, with singular impartiality. the author evidently aimed throughout to do exact justice to the dominant party, and all their opponents of every name. the standpoint from which the whole subject is viewed is novel, and we have in this volume a new and most important contribution to puritan history. the mission of the comforter; with copious notes. by julius charles hare. with the notes translated for the american edition. mo, cloth, $ . . the better land; or, the believer's journey and future home. by the rev. a. c. thompson. mo, cloth, cts. a most charming and instructive book for all now journeying to the "better land." the evening of life; or, light and comfort amidst the shadows of declining years. by rev. jeremiah chaplin, d. d. a new revised, and much enlarged edition. with an elegant frontispiece on steel. mo, cloth, $ . . [pointing finger graphic] a most charming and appropriate work for the aged,--large type and open page. an admirable "gift" for the child to present the parent. the state of the impenitent dead. by alvah hovey, d. d., prof. of christian theology in newton theol. inst. mo, cloth, cts. a wreath around the cross; or, scripture truths illustrated. by the rev. a. morton brown, d. d. recommendatory preface, by john angell james. with a beautiful frontispiece. mo, cloth, cts. "'christ, and him crucified' is presented in a new, striking, and matter-of-fact light. the style is simple, without being puerile, and the reasoning is of that truthful, persuasive kind that 'comes from the heart, and reaches the heart.'"--_n. y. observer._ valuable works. the puritans; or the court, church, and parliament of england, during the reigns of edward vi. and elizabeth. by samuel hopkins, author of "lessons at the cross," etc. in vols. vol. i. _now ready_. octavo, cloth, per vol., $ . . vol. ii. ready in february, " " " " $ . . it will be found the most interesting and reliable history of the puritans yet published, narrating in a dramatic style many facts hitherto unknown. limits of religious thought examined, in eight lectures delivered in the oxford university pulpit, in the year , on the "bampton foundation." by rev. h. longueville mansel, b. d., reader in moral and metaphysical philosophy at magdalen college, oxford, and editor of sir william hamilton's lectures. with the copious notes translated for the american ed. mo, cloth, $ . . this volume is destined to create a profounder sensation in this country than any philosophical or religious work of this century. it is a defence of revealed religion, equal in ability to the "analogy" of bishop butler, and meets the scepticism of our age as effectually as that great work in an earlier day. the pantheism and parkerism infused into our popular literature will here find an antidote. the lectures excited the highest enthusiasm at oxford, and the volume has already reached a _third_ edition in england. the copious "notes" of the author having been translated for the american edition by an accomplished scholar, adds greatly to its value. the historical evidences of the truth of the scripture records, stated anew, with special reference to the doubts and discoveries of modern times. in eight lectures, delivered in the oxford university pulpit, at the bampton lecture for . by geo. rawlinson, m.a., editor of the histories of herodotus. with the copious notes translated for the _american edition_ by an accomplished scholar. mo, cloth, $ . . sir william hamilton's lectures on logic. with notes from original materials, and an appendix containing the latest development of his new logical theory. edited by prof. h. longueville mansel, oxford, and john veitch, m. a., edinburgh. royal octavo, cloth, $ . . (_in press._) moral philosophy, including theoretical and practical ethics. by joseph haven, d. d., late professor of moral and intellectual philosophy in amherst college; author of "mental philosophy." royal mo, cloth, embossed, $ . . it is eminently scientific in method, and thorough in discussion, and its views on unsettled questions in morals are discriminating and sound. it treats largely of political ethics--a department of morals of great importance to american youth, but generally overlooked in text-books. in the history of ethical opinions it is unusually rich and elaborate. popular geology; with descriptive sketches from a geologist's portfolio. by hugh miller. with a resume of the progress of geological science during the last two years. by mrs. miller. mo, cloth, $ . . this work is likely to prove the most popular of hugh miller's writings, and to attain the widest circulation. it is written in his best style, and makes the mysteries of geology intelligible to the common mind. as an architect explains the structure of a house from cellar to attic, so this accomplished geologist takes the globe to pieces, and explains the manner in which all its strata have been formed, from the granite foundation to the alluvial surface. it supplies just the information which many readers have been longing for, but unable to find. also, hugh miller's works. seven volumes, uniform style, in an elegant box, embossed cloth, $ . ; library sheep, $ . ; half calf, $ . ; antique, $ . . mansel's miscellanies; including "prolegomina logica," "metaphysics," "limits of demonstrative evidence," "philosophy of kant," etc. mo, cloth, (_in press._) works for church members. the christian's daily treasury; a religious exercise for every day in the year. by rev. e. temple. a new and improved edition. mo, cloth, $ . . [pointing finger graphic] a work for every christian. it is indeed a "treasury" of good things. the school of christ; or, christianity viewed in its leading aspects. by the rev. a. r. l. foote, author of "incidents in the life of our saviour," etc. mo, cloth, cts. the christian pastor; his work and the needful preparation. by alvan hovey, d. d., prof. of theology in the newton theol. inst. mo, pp. ; flexible cloth, cents; paper covers, cents. apollos; or, directions to persons just commencing a religious life. mo, paper covers, cheap, for distribution, per hundred, $ . . the harvest and the reapers. home work for all, and how to do it. by rev. harvey newcomb. mo, cloth, cts. this work is dedicated to the converts of . it shows what _may_ be done, by showing what has been done. it shows how much there is now to be done at home. it shows how to do it. every man interested in the work of saving men, every professing christian, will find this work to be for him. the church-member's manual of ecclesiastical principles, doctrines, and discipline. by rev. william crowell, d. d. introduction by h. j. ripley, d. d. second edition, revised and improved. mo, cloth, cts. the church-member's hand-book; a plain guide to the doctrines and practice of baptist churches. by the rev. william crowell, d. d. mo, cloth, cts. the church-member's guide. by the rev. john a. james. edited by j. o. choules, d. d. new edition. with introductory essay, by rev. hubbard winslow. cloth, cts. "the spontaneous effusion of our heart, on laying the book down, was: 'may every church, member in our land possess this book, and be blessed with all the happiness which conformity to its evangelical sentiments and directions is calculated to confer.'"--_christian secretary._ the church in earnest. by rev. john a. james. mo, cloth, cts. "its arguments and appeals are well adapted to prompt to action, and the times demand such a book. we trust it will be universally read."--_n. y. observer._ "those who have the means should purchase a number of copies of this work, and lend them to church-members, and keep them in circulation _till they are worn out_!"--_mothers' assistant._ christian progress. a sequel to the anxious inquirer. by john angell james. mo, cloth, cts. [pointing finger graphic] one of the best and most useful works of this popular author. "it ought to be sold by hundreds of thousands, until every church-member in the land has bought, read, marked, learned, and inwardly digested a copy."--_congregationalist._ "so eminently is it adapted to do good, that we feel no surprise that it should make one of the publishers' excellent publications. it exhibits the whole subject of growth in grace with great simplicity and clearness."--_puritan recorder._ * * * * * gould and lincoln washington street, boston, would call particular attention to the following valuable works described in their catalogue of publications, viz.: hugh miller's works. bayne's works. walker's works. miall's works. bungener's work. annual of scientific discovery. knight's knowledge is power. krummacher's suffering saviour. banvard's american histories. the aimwell stories. newcomb's works. tweedie's works. chambers's works. harris' works. kitto's cyclopædia of biblical literature. mrs. knight's life of montgomery. kitto's history of palestine. whewell's work. wayland's works. agassiz's works. williams' works. guyot's works. thompson's better land. kimball's heaven. valuable works on missions. haven's mental philosophy. buchanan's modern atheism. cruden's condensed concordance. eadie's analytical concordance. the psalmist: a collection of hymns. valuable school books. works for sabbath schools. memoir of amos lawrence. poetical works of milton, cowper, scott. elegant miniature volumes. arvine's cyclopædia of anecdotes. ripley's notes on gospels, acts, and romans. sprague's european celebrities. marsh's camel and the hallig. roget's thesaurus of english words. hackett's notes on acts. m'whorter's yahveh christ. siebold and stannius's comparative anatomy. maroon's geological map, u.s. religious and miscellaneous works. works in the various departments of literature, science and art. * * * * * transcriber's note: every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as possible, including obsolete and variant spellings. obvious typographical errors in punctuation (misplaced quotes and the like) have been fixed. corrections [in brackets] in the text are noted below: throughout: it is possible that the same name is spelled variously: franke; francke; franké. the names have been left as in the original. page : typo corrected the lord jesus. even about the commencment[commencement] of this century, when there was almost universal darkness or even page : typo corrected with a sufficiently large piece of ground in the neghborhood[neighborhood] of bristol, for building the premises page : possible typo corrected from among the sunday[sunday]-school children were, during these two years, received into church fellowship. the page : possible typo corrected added to the _present_ building fund, so that on the evening of may , , i had altogether £ , , s. - / [d]. page : possible typo corrected and unbelief prevails. how different, if one is enabled to wait's[wait] god's own time, and to look alone to him for help answers to prayer from george müller's narratives compiled by a. e. c. brooks. the moody press institute place chicago "i never remember, in all my christian course, a period now (in march, ) of sixty-nine years and four months, that i ever sincerely and patiently sought to know the will of god by _the teaching of the holy ghost_, through the instrumentality of the _word of god_, but i have been always directed rightly. but if _honesty of heart_ and _uprightness before god_ were lacking, or if i did not _patiently_ wait upon god for instruction, or if i preferred _the counsel of my fellow men_ to the declarations of _the word of the living god_, i made great mistakes." george mÜller. printed in united states of america [illustration: fac simile of mr. müller's permission for the compilation of this book.] preface mr. brooks, in this compilation, has endeavored to select those incidents and practical remarks from mr. müller's narratives, that show in an unmistakeable way, both to believers and unbelievers, the secret of believing prayer, the manifest hand of a living god, and his unfailing response, in his own time and way, to every petition which is according to his will. the careful perusal of these extracts will thus further the great object which mr. müller had in view, without the necessity of reading through the various details of his "narratives," details which mr. müller felt bound to give when writing periodically the account of god's dealings with him. for those who have the opportunity, an examination of the "autobiography of george müller, or, a million and a half in answer to prayer" will richly repay the time spent upon it. mr. müller's permission for the compilation of this volume is shown in the accompanying facsimile, (see p. ), in the following words: "if the extracts are given exactly as printed, and the punctuation exactly as in the book and in the connection in which the facts stand, i have no objection." how to ascertain the will of god i seek at the beginning to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter. nine-tenths of the trouble with people generally is just here. nine-tenths of the difficulties are overcome when our hearts are ready to do the lord's will, whatever it may be. when one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what his will is. .--having done this, i do not leave the result to feeling or simple impression. if so, i make myself liable to great delusions. .--i seek the will of the spirit of god through, or in connection with, the word of god. the spirit and the word must be combined. if i look to the spirit alone without the word, i lay myself open to great delusions also. if the holy ghost guides us at all, he will do it according to the scriptures and never contrary to them. .--next i take into account providential circumstances. these often plainly indicate god's will in connection with his word and spirit. .--i ask god in prayer to reveal his will to me aright. .--thus, through prayer to god, the study of the word, and reflection, i come to a deliberate judgment according to the best of my ability and knowledge, and if my mind is thus at peace, and continues so after two or three more petitions, i proceed accordingly. in trivial matters, and in transactions involving most important issues, i have found this method always effective. george mÜller. answers to prayer chapter i beginning and early days of the orphan work. "that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of jesus christ."-- peter, i. . mr. george müller, the founder of the new orphan-houses, ashley down, bristol (institutions that have been for many years the greatest monuments of modern times to a prayer-answering god), gives in that most valuable and instructive book, "a narrative of some of the lord's dealings with george müller," vol. i., among other reasons for establishing an orphan-house, the following:-- "sometimes i found children of god tried in mind by the prospect of old age, when they might be unable to work any longer, and therefore were harassed by the fear of having to go into the poorhouse. if in such a case i pointed out to them, how their heavenly father has always helped those who put their trust in him, they might not, perhaps, always say, that times have changed; but yet it was evident enough, that god was not looked upon by them as the living god. my spirit was ofttimes bowed down by this, and i longed to set something before the children of god, whereby they might see, that he does not forsake, even in our day, those who rely upon him. "another class of persons were brethren in business, who suffered in their souls, and brought guilt on their consciences, by carrying on their business, almost in the same way as unconverted persons do. the competition in trade, the bad times, the over-peopled country, were given as reasons why, if the business were carried on simply according to the word of god, it could not be expected to do well. such a brother, perhaps, would express the wish, that he might be differently situated; but very rarely did i see _that there was a stand made for god, that there was the holy determination to trust in the living god, and to depend on him, in order that a good conscience might be maintained_. to this class likewise i desired to show, by a visible proof, that god is unchangeably the same. "then there was another class of persons, individuals who were in professions in which they could not continue with a good conscience, or persons who were in an unscriptural position with reference to spiritual things; but both classes feared, on account of the consequences, to give up the profession in which they could not abide with god, or to leave their position, lest they should be thrown out of employment. my spirit longed to be instrumental in strengthening their faith, by giving them not only instances from the word of god, of his willingness and ability to help all those who rely upon him, but _to show them by proofs_, that he is the same in our day. i well knew _that the word of god ought to be enough_, and it was, by grace, enough, to me; but still, i considered that i ought to lend a helping hand to my brethren, if by any means, by this visible proof to the unchangeable faithfulness of the lord, i might strengthen their hands in god; for i remembered what a great blessing my own soul had received through the lord's dealings with his servant a. h. franke, who in dependence upon the living god alone, established an immense orphan-house, which i had seen many times with my own eyes. i, therefore, judged myself bound to be the servant of the church of god, in the particular point on which i had obtained mercy: namely, _in being able to take god by his word and to rely upon it_. all these exercises of my soul, which resulted from the fact that so many believers, with whom i became acquainted, were harassed and distressed in mind, or brought guilt on their consciences, on account of not trusting in the lord; were used by god to awaken in my heart the desire of setting before the church at large, and before the world, a proof that he has not in the least changed; and this seemed to me best done, by the establishing of an orphan-house. it needed to be something which could be seen, even by the natural eye. now, if i, a poor man, simply by prayer and faith, obtained _without asking any individual_, the means for establishing and carrying on an orphan-house, there would be something which, with the lord's blessing, might be instrumental in strengthening the faith of the children of god, besides being a testimony to the consciences of the unconverted, of the reality of the things of god. this, then, was the primary reason for establishing the orphan-house. i certainly did from my heart desire to be used by god to benefit the bodies of poor children, bereaved of both parents, and seek in other respects, with the help of god, to do them good for this life;--i also particularly longed to be used by god in getting the dear orphans trained up in the fear of god;--but still, the first and primary object of the work was (and still is:) that god might be magnified by the fact, that the orphans under my care are provided with all they need, only by _prayer and faith_ without anyone being asked by me or my fellow-laborers whereby it may be seen, that god is faithful still, and hears prayer still. that i was not mistaken, has been abundantly proved since november, , both by the conversion of many sinners who have read the accounts, which have been published in connection with this work, and also by the abundance of fruit that has followed in the hearts of the saints, for which from my inmost soul, i desire to be grateful to god, and the honor and glory of which not only is due to him alone, but, which i, by his help, am enabled to ascribe to him." "open thy mouth wide." in the account written by mr. müller dated jan. , , respecting the orphan-house intended to be established in bristol in connection with the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, we read:-- "when, of late, the thoughts of establishing an orphan-house, in dependence upon the lord, revived in my mind, during the first two weeks i only prayed that if it were of the lord, he would bring it about, but if not that he graciously would be pleased to take all thoughts about it out of my mind. my uncertainty about knowing the lord's mind did not arise from questioning whether it would be pleasing in his sight, that there should be an abode and scriptural education provided for destitute fatherless and motherless children; but whether it were his will that i should be the instrument of setting such an object on foot, as my hands were already more than filled. my comfort, however, was, that, if it were his will, he would provide not merely the means, but also suitable individuals to take care of the children, so that my part of the work would take only such a portion of my time, as, considering the importance of the matter, i might give, notwithstanding my many other engagements. the whole of those two weeks i never asked the lord for money or for persons to engage in the work. "on december th, however, the subject of my prayer all at once became different. i was reading psalm lxxxi., and was particularly struck, more than at any time before, with verse : "_open thy month wide, and i will fill it_." i thought a few moments about these words, and then was led to apply them to the case of the orphan-house. it struck me that i had never asked the lord for anything concerning it, except to know his will, respecting its being established or not; and i then fell on my knees and opened my mouth wide, asking him for much. i asked in submission to his will, and without fixing a time when he should answer my petition. i prayed that he would give me a house, _i. e._, either as a loan, or that someone might be led to pay the rent for one, or that one might be given permanently for this object; further, i asked him for £ ; and likewise for suitable individuals to take care of the children. besides this, i have been since led to ask the lord, to put into the hearts of his people to send me articles of furniture for the house, and some clothes for the children. when i was asking the petition, i was fully aware what i was doing, _i. e._, that i was asking for something which i had no natural prospect of obtaining from the brethren whom i know, but which was not too much for the lord to grant." "december , .--this morning i received a letter, in which a brother and sister wrote thus:--"we propose ourselves for the service of the intended orphan-house, if you think us qualified for it; also to give up all the furniture, &c., which the lord has given us, for its use; and to do this without receiving any salary whatever; believing that if it be the will of the lord to employ us, he will supply all our needs, &c." "dec. .--a brother was influenced this day to give s. per week, or £ s. yearly, as long as the lord gives the means; s. was given by him as two weeks' subscriptions. to-day a brother and sister offered themselves, with all their furniture, and all the provisions which they have in the house, if they can be usefully employed in the concerns of the orphan-house." a great encouragement. "dec. .--i was rather cast down last evening and this morning about the matter, questioning whether i ought to be engaged in this way, and was led to ask the lord to give me some further encouragement. soon after were sent by a brother two pieces of print, the one seven and the other ¾ yards, ¾ yards of calico, four pieces of lining, about four yards altogether, a sheet, and a yard measure. this evening another brother brought a clothes horse, three frocks, four pinafores, six handkerchiefs, three counterpanes, one blanket, two pewter salt cellars, six tin cups, and six metal tea spoons; he also brought s. d. given to him by three different individuals. at the same time he told me that it had been put into the heart of an individual to send to-morrow £ ." one thousand pounds. "june , .--to-day i gave myself once more earnestly to prayer respecting the remainder of the £ . this evening £ was given, so that now the whole sum is made up. to the glory of the lord, whose i am, and whom i serve, i would state again, that every shilling of this money, and all the articles of clothing and furniture, which have been mentioned in the foregoing pages, have been given to me, _without one single individual having been asked by me for anything_." orphans for the building. in a third statement, containing the announcement of the opening of the orphan-house, for destitute female children, and a proposal for the establishment of an infant orphan-house, which was sent to the press on may , , mr. müller wrote:-- "so far as i remember, i brought even the most minute circumstances concerning the orphan-house before the lord in my petitions, being conscious of my own weakness and ignorance. there was, however, one point i never had prayed about, namely that the lord would send children; for i naturally took it for granted that there would be plenty of applications. the nearer, however, the day came which had been appointed for receiving applications, the more i had a secret consciousness, that the lord might disappoint my natural expectations, and show me that i could not prosper in one single thing without him. the appointed time came, and not even one application was made. i had before this been repeatedly tried, whether i might not, after all, against the lord's mind, have engaged in the work. this circumstance now led me to lie low before my god in prayer the whole of the evening, february , and to examine my heart once more as to all the motives concerning it; and being able, as formerly, to say, that his glory was my _chief aim_, _i. e._, that it might be seen that it is not a vain thing to trust in the living god,--and that my _second aim_ was the spiritual welfare of the orphan-children,--and the _third_ their bodily welfare; and still continuing in prayer, i was at last brought to this state, that i could say _from my heart_, that i should rejoice in god being glorified in this matter, though it were by _bringing the whole to nothing_. but as still, after all, it seemed to me more tending to the glory of god, to establish and prosper the orphan-house, i could then ask him heartily, to send applications. i enjoyed now a peaceful state of heart concerning the subject, and was also more assured than ever that god would establish it. _the very next day_, february , the first application was made, and since then more have been made." "just for to-day." later on, when there were nearly persons to be maintained, and the funds were reduced to about £ , mr. müller writes:-- "july [ ].--this evening i was walking in our little garden, meditating on heb. xiii. , "jesus christ the same yesterday, and to-day, and for ever." whilst meditating on his unchangeable love, power, wisdom, &c.--and turning all, as i went on, into prayer respecting myself; and whilst applying likewise his unchangeable love, and power and wisdom, &c., both to my present spiritual and temporal circumstances:--all at once the present need of the orphan-house was brought to my mind. immediately i was led to say to myself, jesus in his love and power has hitherto supplied me with what i have needed for the orphans, and in the same unchangeable love and power he will provide me with what i may need for the future. a flow of joy came into my soul whilst realising thus the unchangeableness of our adorable lord. about one minute after, a letter was brought me, enclosing a bill for £ . in it was written: "will you apply the amount of the enclosed bill to the furtherance of the objects of your scriptural knowledge society, or of your orphan establishment, or in the work and cause of our master in any way that he himself, on your application to him, may point out to you. it is not a great sum, but it is a sufficient provision for the exigency of to-day; and it is for _to-day's_ exigencies, that, ordinarily, the lord provides. to-morrow, as it brings its demands, will find its supply, etc." "[of this £ i took £ for the orphan fund, and £ for trip other objects, and was thus enabled to meet the expenses of about £ which, in connection with the orphan-houses, came upon me within four days afterwards, and which i knew beforehand would come.]" waiting for help. "nov. , .--never were we so reduced in funds as to-day. there was not a single halfpenny in hand between the matrons of the three houses. nevertheless there was a good dinner, and by managing so as to help one another with bread, etc., there was a prospect of getting over this day also; but for none of the houses had we the prospect of being able to take in bread. when i left the brethren and sisters at one o'clock, after prayer, i told them that we must wait for help, and see how the lord would deliver us this time. i was sure of help, but we were indeed straitened. when i came to kingsdown, i felt that i needed more exercise, being very cold; wherefore i went not the nearest way home, but round by clarence place. about twenty yards from my house, i met a brother who walked back with me, and after a little conversation gave me £ to be handed over to the brethren, the deacons, towards providing the poor saints with coals, blankets and warm clothing; also £ for the orphans, and £ for the other objects of the scriptural knowledge institution. the brother had called twice while i was gone to the orphan-houses, and had i now been _one half minute_ later, i should have missed him. but the lord knew our need, and therefore allowed me to meet him. i sent off the £ immediately to the matrons." beyond disappointment. "sept. [ ], monday. by what was in hand for the orphans, and by what had come in yesterday, the need of to-day is more than supplied, as there is enough for to-morrow also. to-day a brother from the neighbourhood of london gave me £ , to be laid out as it might be most needed. as we have been praying many days for the school,--bible,--and missionary funds, i took it all for them. this brother knew nothing about our work, when he came three days since to bristol. thus the lord, to show his continued care over us, raises up new helpers. they that trust in the lord shall never be confounded! some who helped for a while may fall asleep in jesus; others may grow cold in the service of the lord; others may be as desirous as ever to help, but have no longer the means; others may have both a willing heart to help, and have also the means, but may see it the lord's will to lay them out in another way;--and thus, from one cause or another, were we to lean upon man, we should surely be confounded; but, in leaning upon the living god alone, we are _beyond disappointment, and beyond being forsaken because of death_, or _want of means_, or _want of love_, or _because of the claims of other work_. how precious to have learned in any measure to stand with god alone in the world, and yet to be happy, and to know that surely no good thing shall be withheld from us whilst we walk uprightly!" a great sinner converted. in his review of the year , mr. müller writes:-- "during this year i was informed about the conversion of one of the very greatest sinners, that i ever heard of in all my service for the lord. repeatedly i fell on my knees with his wife, and asked the lord for his conversion, when she came to me in the deepest distress of soul, on account of the most barbarous and cruel treatment that she received from him, in his bitter enmity against her for the lord's sake, and because he could not provoke her to be in a passion, and _she would not_ strike him again, and the like. at the time when it was at its worst i pleaded especially on his behalf the promise in matthew xviii. : 'again i say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven.' and now this awful persecutor is converted." prayer for spiritual blessing among the saints. "on may th, i began to ask the lord for greater real spiritual prosperity among the saints, among whom i labour in bristol, than there ever yet had been among them; and now i have to record to the praise of the lord that truly he has answered this request; for, considering all things, at no period has there been more manifestation of grace and truth, and spiritual power among us, than there is now while i am writing this for the press ( ). not that we have attained to what we might; we are far, very far from it; but the lord has been very, very good to us, and we have most abundant cause for thanksgiving." withholding the report. "dec. [ ].--to-day came in for the orphans by the sale of stockings s. d.--we are now brought to the close of the sixth year of this part of the work, _having only in hand the money which has been put by for the rent_; but during the whole of this year we have been supplied with all that was needed. "during the last three years we had closed the accounts on this day, and had, a few days after, some public meetings, at which, for the benefit of the hearers, we stated how the lord had dealt with us during the year, and the substance of what had been stated at these meetings was afterwards printed for the benefit of the church at large. this time, however, it appeared to us better to delay for a while both the public meetings and the publishing of the report. through grace we had learned to lean upon the lord only, being assured, that, if we were never to speak or write one single word more about this work, yet should we be supplied with means, as long as he should enable us to depend on himself alone. but whilst we neither had had those public meetings for the purpose of exposing our necessity, nor had had the account of the lord's dealings with us published for the sake of working thereby upon the feelings of the readers, and thus inducing them to give money, but only that we might by our experience benefit other saints; yet it might have appeared to some that, in making known our circumstances, we were actuated by some such motives. what better proof, therefore, could we give of our depending upon the living god alone, and not upon public meetings or printed reports, than that, _in the midst of our deep poverty_, instead of being glad for the time to have come when we could make known our circumstances, we still went on quietly for some time longer, without saying anything. we therefore determined, as we sought and still seek in this work to act for the profit of the saints generally, to delay both the public meetings and the report for a few months. _naturally_ we should have been, of course, as glad as anyone to have exposed our poverty at that time; but _spiritually_ we were unable to delight even then in the prospect of the increased benefit that might be derived by the church at large from our acting as we did. * * * * * "dec. . saturday morning. there is now the greatest need, and only d. in hand, which i found in the box at my house; yet i fully believe the lord will supply us this day also with all that is required.--pause a few moments, dear reader! observe two things! we acted _for god_ in delaying the public meetings and the publishing of the report; but _god's way leads always into trial, so far as sight and sense are concerned_. _nature_ always will be tried _in god's ways_. the lord was saying by this poverty, 'i will now see whether you truly lean upon me, and whether you truly look to me.' of all the seasons that i had ever passed through since i had been living in this way, _up to that time_, i never knew any period in which my faith was tried so sharply, as during the four months from dec. , , to april , . but observe further: we might even now have altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publishing the report; _for no one knew our determination, at this time_, concerning the point. nay, on the contrary, we knew with what delight very many children of god were looking forward to receive further accounts. but the lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion, at which we had arrived under his guidance." "he abideth faithful." under the date jan. , , mr. müller writes:-- "perhaps, dear reader, you have said in your heart before you have read thus far: 'how would it be, suppose the funds for the orphans were reduced to nothing, and those who are engaged in the work had nothing of their own to give, and a meal time were come, and you had no food for the children.' "thus indeed it may be, for our hearts are desperately wicked. if ever we should be so left to ourselves, as that either we depend no more upon the living god, or that 'we regard iniquity in our hearts,' then such a state of things, we have reason to believe, would occur. but so long as we shall be enabled to trust in the living god, and so long as, though falling short in every way of what we might be, and ought to be, we are at least kept from living in sin, such a state of things cannot occur. therefore, dear reader, if you yourself walk with god, and if, on that account, his glory is dear to you, i affectionately and earnestly entreat you to beseech him to uphold us; for how awful would be the disgrace brought upon his holy name if we, who have so publicly made our boast in him, and have spoken well of him, should be left to disgrace him, either by unbelief in the hour of trial, or by a life of sin in other respects." delayed but sure. "march [ ].--at a time of the greatest need, both with regard to the day-schools and the orphans, so much so that we could not have gone on any longer without help, i received this day £ from a brother who lives near dublin. the money was divided between the day-schools and the orphan-houses. the following little circumstance is to be noticed respecting this donation:--as our need was so great, and my soul was, through grace, truly waiting upon the lord, i looked out for supplies in the course of this morning. the post, however, was out, and no supplies had come. this did not in the least discourage me. i said to myself, the lord can send means without the post, or even now, though the post is out, by this very delivery of letters he may have sent means, though the money is not yet in my hands. it was not long after i had thus spoken to myself, when, according to my hope in god, we were helped; for the brother who sent us the £ , had this time directed his letter to the boys' orphan-house, whence it was sent to me." "like as a father." "march .--from the th to the th had come in £ s. ½d. for the orphans. this morning our poverty, which now has lasted more or less for several months, had become exceedingly great. i left my house a few minutes after seven to go to the orphan-houses, to see whether there was money enough to take in the milk, which is brought about eight o'clock. on my way it was specially my request that the lord would be pleased to pity us, even as a father pitieth his children, and that he would not lay more upon us than he would enable us to bear, i especially entreated him that he would now be pleased to refresh our hearts by sending us help. i likewise reminded him of the consequences that would result, both in reference to believers and unbelievers, if we should have to give up the work because of want of means, and that he therefore would not permit of its coming to nought. i moreover again confessed before the lord that i deserved not that he should continue to use me in this work any longer. while i was thus in prayer, about two minutes' walk from the orphan-houses, i met a brother who was going at this early hour to his business. after having exchanged a few words with him, i went on; but he presently ran after me, and gave me £ for the orphans. thus the lord speedily answered my prayer. truly, it is worth being poor and greatly tried in faith, for the sake of having day by day such precious proofs of the loving interest which our kind father takes in everything that concerns us. and how should our father do otherwise? he that has given us the greatest possible proof of his love which he could have done, in giving us his own son, surely he will with him also freely give us all things." trust in the lord better than man's promises. "may [ ].--about six weeks ago intimation was kindly given by a brother that he expected a certain considerable sum of money, and that, if he obtained it, a certain portion of it should be given to the lord, so that £ of it should be used for the work in my hands, and the other part for brother craik's and my own personal expenses. however, day after day passed away, and the money did not come. i did not trust in this money, yet, as during all this time, with scarcely any exception, we were more or less needy, i thought again and again about this brother's promise; though i did not, by the grace of god, trust in the brother who had made it, but in the lord. thus week after week passed away, and the money did not come. now this morning it came to my mind, that such promises ought to be valued, in a certain sense, as nothing, _i. e._, that the mind ought never for a moment to be directed to them, but to the living god, and to the living god only. i saw that such promises ought not to be of the value of one farthing, so far as it regards thinking about them for help. i therefore asked the lord, when, as usual, i was praying with my beloved wife about the work in my hands that he would be pleased to take this whole matter, about that promise, completely out of my mind, and to help me, not to value it in the least, yea, to treat it as if not worth one farthing, but to keep my eye directed only to himself. i was enabled to do so. we had not yet finished praying when i received the following letter: ----may , beloved brother, are your bankers still messrs. stuckey and co. of bristol, and are their bankers still messrs. robarts and co. of london? please to instruct me on this; and if the case should be so, please to regard this as a letter of advice that £ are paid to messrs. robarts and co., for messrs. stuckey and co., for you. this sum apply as the lord may give you wisdom. i shall not send to robarts and co. until i hear from you. ever affectionately yours, * * * * "thus the lord rewarded at once this determination to endeavour not to look in the least to that promise from a brother, but only to himself. but this was not all. about two o'clock this afternoon i received from the brother, who had more than forty days ago, made that promise, £ s., as he this day received the money, on the strength of which he had made that promise. of this sum £ are to be used for the work in my hands, and the remainder for brother craik's and my own personal expenses." under date mr. müller writes:-- "i desire that all the children of god, who may read these details, may thereby be lead to increased and more simple confidence in god for everything which they may need under any circumstances, and that these many answers to prayer may encourage them to pray, particularly as it regards the conversion of their friends and relatives, their own progress in grace and knowledge, the state of the saints whom they may know personally, the state of the church of god at large, and the success of the preaching of the gospel. especially i affectionately warn them against being led away by the device of satan, to think that these things are peculiar to me, and cannot be enjoyed by all the children of god; for though, as has been stated before, every believer is not called upon to establish orphan-houses, charity schools, etc., and trust in the lord for means; yet all believers are called upon, in the simple confidence of faith, to cast all their burdens upon him, to trust in him for everything, and not only to make every thing a subject of prayer, but to expect answers to their petitions which they have asked according to his will, and in the name of the lord jesus.--think not, dear reader, that i have _the gift of faith_, that is, that gift of which we read in cor. xii. , and which is mentioned along with 'the gifts of healing,' 'the working of miracles,' 'prophecy,' and that on that account i am able to trust in the lord. _it is true_ that the faith, which i am enabled to exercise, is altogether god's own gift; it is true that he alone supports it, and that he alone can increase it; it is true that, moment by moment, i depend upon him for it, and that, if i were only one moment left to myself, my faith would utterly fail; but _it is not true_ that my faith is that gift of faith which is spoken of in cor. xii. for the following reasons:-- " . the faith which i am enabled to exercise with reference to the orphan-houses and my own temporal necessities, is not that 'faith' of which it is said in cor. xiii. (evidently in allusion to the faith spoken of in cor. xii. ), 'though i have all faith, so that i could remove mountains, and have not charity (love), i am nothing'; but it is the self-same faith which is found in _every believer_, and the growth of which i am most sensible of to myself; for, by little and little, it has been increasing for the last sixty-nine years. " . this faith which is exercised respecting the orphan-houses and my own temporal necessities, shows itself in the same measure, for instance concerning the following points: i have never been permitted to doubt during the last sixty-nine years that my sins are forgiven, that i am a child of god, that i am beloved of god, and that i shall be finally saved; because i am enabled, by the grace of god, to exercise faith upon the word of god, and believe what god says in those passages which settle these matters ( john v. --gal. iii. --acts x. --romans x. , --john iii. , etc.).... further, when sometimes all has been dark, exceedingly dark, with reference to my service among the saints, judging from natural appearances; yea, when i should have been overwhelmed indeed in grief and despair, had i looked at things after the outward appearance; at such times i have sought to encourage myself in god, by laying hold in faith on his mighty power, his unchangeable love, and his infinite wisdom, and i have said to myself: god is able and willing to deliver me, if it be good for me; for it is written: "he that spared not his own son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" rom. viii. . this, this it was which, being believed by me through grace, kept my soul in peace.--further, when in connection with the orphan-houses, day schools, etc., trials have come upon me which were far heavier than the want of means when lying reports were spread that the orphans had not enough to eat, or that they were cruelly treated in other respects, and the like; or when other trials, still greater, but which i cannot mention, have befallen me in connexion with this work, and that at a time when i was nearly a thousand miles absent from bristol, and had to remain absent week after week: at such times my soul was stayed upon god; i believed his word of promise which was applicable to such cases; i poured out my soul before god, and arose from my knees in peace, because the trouble that was in the soul was in believing prayer cast upon god, and thus i was kept in peace, though i saw it to be the will of god to remain far away from the work.--further, when i needed houses, fellow-labourers, masters and mistresses for the orphans or for the day schools, i have been enabled to look for all to the lord and trust in him for help.--dear reader, i may seem to boast; but, by the grace of god, i do not boast in thus speaking. from my inmost soul i do ascribe it to god alone that he has enabled me to trust in him, and that hitherto he has not suffered my confidence in him to fail. but i thought it needful to make these remarks, lest anyone should think that my depending upon god was a particular gift given to me, which other saints have no right to look for; or lest it should be thought that this my depending upon him had _only to do with the obtaining of money by prayer and faith_. by the grace of god i desire that my faith in god should extend towards every thing, the smallest of my own temporal and spiritual concerns, and the smallest of the temporal and spiritual concerns of my family, towards the saints among whom i labour, the church at large, everything that has to do with the temporal and spiritual prosperity of the scriptural knowledge institution, etc. dear reader, do not think that i have attained in faith (and how much less in other respects!) to that degree to which i might and ought to attain; but thank god for the faith which he has given me, and ask him to uphold and increase it. and lastly, once more, let not satan deceive you in making you think that you could not have the same faith but that it is only for persons who are situated as i am. when i lose such a thing as a key, i ask the lord to direct me to it, and i look for an answer to my prayer; when a person with whom i have made an appointment does not come, according to the fixed time, and i begin to be inconvenienced by it, i ask the lord to be pleased to hasten him to me and i look for an answer; when i do not understand a passage of the word of god, i lift up my heart to the lord, that he would be pleased, by his holy spirit to instruct me, and i expect to be taught, though i do not fix the time when, and the manner how it should be; when i am going to minister in the word, i seek help from the lord, and while i, in the consciousness of natural inability as well as utter unworthiness begin this his service, i am not cast down, but of good cheer, because i look for his assistance, and believe that he, for his dear son's sake will help me. and thus in other of my temporal and spiritual concerns i pray to the lord, and expect an answer to my requests; and may not _you_ do the same, dear believing reader? oh! i beseech you, do not think me an extraordinary believer, having privileges above other of god's dear children, which they cannot have; nor look on my way of acting as something that would not do for other believers. make but trial! do but stand still in the hour of trial, and you will see the help of god, if you trust in him. but there is so often a forsaking the ways of the lord in the hour of trial, and thus the _food of faith_, the means whereby our faith may be increased, is lost. this leads me to the following important point. you ask, how may i, a true believer, have my faith strengthened? the answer is this:-- "i.--every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." james i. . as the increase of faith is a good gift, it must come from god, and therefore he ought to be asked for this blessing. "ii.--the following means, however, ought to be used:-- , _the careful reading of the word of god, combined with meditation on it._ through reading of the word of god, and especially through meditation on the word of god, the believer becomes more and more acquainted with the nature and character of god, and thus sees more and more, besides his holiness and justice, what a kind, loving, gracious, merciful, mighty, wise, and faithful being he is, and, therefore, in poverty, affliction of body, bereavement in his family, difficulty in his service, want of a situation or employment, he will repose upon the _ability_ of god to help him, because he has not only learned from his word that he is of almighty power and infinite wisdom, but he has also seen instance upon instance in the holy scriptures in which his almighty power and infinite wisdom have been actually exercised in helping and delivering his people; and he will repose upon the _willingness_ of god to help him, because he has not only learned from the scriptures what a kind, good, merciful, gracious, and faithful being god is, but because he has also seen in the word of god how, in a great variety of instances he has proved himself to be so. and the consideration of this, if _god has become known to us through prayer and meditation on his own word_, will lead us, in general at least, with a measure of confidence to rely upon him: and thus the reading of the word of god, together with meditation on it, will be one especial means to strengthen our faith. , as with reference to the growth of every grace of the spirit, it is of the utmost importance that we seek to maintain an upright heart and a good conscience, and, therefore, do not knowingly and habitually indulge in those things which are contrary to the mind of god, so it is also particularly the case with reference to the _growth in faith_. how can i possibly continue to act faith upon god, concerning anything, if i am habitually grieving him, and seek to detract from the glory and honour of him in whom i profess to trust, upon whom i profess to depend? all my confidence towards god, all my leaning upon him in the hour of trial will be gone, if i have a guilty conscience, and do not seek to put away this guilty conscience, but still continue to do the things which are contrary to the mind of god. and if, in any particular instance, i cannot trust in god, because of the guilty conscience, then my faith is weakened by that instance of distrust; for faith with every fresh trial of it either increases by trusting god, and thus getting help, or it decreases by not trusting him; and then there is less and less power of looking simply and directly to him, and a habit of self-dependence is begotten or encouraged. one or the other of these will always be the case in each particular instance. either we trust in god, and in that case we neither trust in ourselves, nor in our fellow-men, nor in circumstances, nor in anything besides; or we do trust in one or more of these, and in that case do not trust in god. , if we, indeed, desire our faith to be strengthened, we should not shrink from opportunities where our faith may be tried, and, therefore, through the trial, be strengthened. in our natural state we dislike dealing with god alone. through our natural alienation from god we shrink from him, and from eternal realities. this cleaves to us more or less, even after our regeneration. hence it is, that more or less, even as believers, we have the same shrinking from standing with god alone,--from depending upon him alone,--from looking to him alone:--and yet this is the very position in which we ought to be, if we wish our faith to be strengthened. the more i am in a position to be tried in faith with reference to my body, my family, my service for the lord, my business, etc., the more shall i have opportunity of seeing god's help and deliverance; and every fresh instance, in which he helps and delivers me, will tend towards the increase of my faith. on this account, therefore, the believer should not shrink from situations, positions, circumstances, in which his faith may be tried; but should cheerfully embrace them as opportunities where he may see the hand of god stretched out on his behalf, to help and deliver him, and whereby he may thus have his faith strengthened. , the last important point for the strengthening of our faith is, that we let god work for us, when the hour of the trial of our faith comes, and do not work a deliverance of our own. wherever god has given faith, it is given, among other reasons, for the very purpose of being tried. "yea, however weak our faith may be, god will try it; only with this restriction, that as in every way, he leads on gently, gradually, patiently, so also with reference to the trial of our faith. at first our faith will be tried very little in comparison with what it may be afterwards; for god never lays more upon us that he is willing to enable us to bear. now when the trial of faith comes, we are naturally inclined to distrust god, and to trust rather in ourselves, or in our friends, or in circumstances. "we will rather work a deliverance of our own somehow or other, than simply look to god and wait for his help. but if we do not patiently wait for god's help, if we work a deliverance of our own, then at the next trial of our faith it will be thus again, we shall be again inclined to deliver ourselves; and thus with every fresh instance of that kind, our faith will decrease; whilst on the contrary, were we to stand still, in order to see the salvation of god, to see his hand stretched out on our behalf, trusting in him alone, then our faith would be increased, and with every fresh case in which the hand of god is stretched out on our behalf in the hour of the trial of our faith, our faith would be increased yet more. "would the believer, therefore, have his faith strengthened, he must especially, _give time to god_, who tries his faith in order to prove to his child, in the end, how willing he is to help and deliver him, the moment it is good for him." in the early years of the institution mr. müller and his fellow labourers had to endure many severe trials of faith, as some of these instances show. mr. müller when writing of this period says:-- "though now (july, ) for about seven years our funds have been so exhausted, that it has been a _rare_ case that there have been means in hand to meet the necessities of more than persons for _three days_ together; yet i have been only once tried in spirit, and that was on september , , when, for the first time the lord seemed not to regard our prayer. but when he did send help at that time, and i saw that it was only for the trial of our faith, and not because he had forsaken the work, that we were brought so low, my soul was so strengthened and encouraged, that i have not only not been allowed to distrust the lord, but _i have not been even cast down when in the deepest poverty_ since that time." a gift of £ . "aug. [ ].--the £ which i had received on the th. had been given for house-keeping, so that to-day i was again penniless. but my eyes were up to the lord. i gave myself to prayer this morning, knowing that i should want again this week at least £ , if not above £ . to-day i received £ in answer to prayer, from a lady who is staying at clifton, whom i had never seen before. adorable lord, grant that this may be a fresh encouragement to me!" a solemn crisis. regarding one of the sharpest times of trial mr. müller writes:-- "sept. [ ]. monday morning. neither saturday nor yesterday had any money come in. it appeared to me now needful to take some steps on account of our need, _i. e._, to go to the orphan-houses, call the brethren and sisters together, (who, except brother t----, had never been informed about the state of the funds), state the case to them, see how much money was needed for the present, tell them that amidst all this trial of faith i still believed that god would help, and to pray with them. especially, also, i meant to go for the sake of telling them that no more articles must be purchased than we have the means to pay for, but to let there be nothing lacking in any way to the children as it regards nourishing food and needful clothing; for i would rather at once send them away than that they should lack. i meant to go for the sake also of seeing whether there were still articles remaining which had been sent for the purpose of being sold, or whether there were any articles really needless, that we might turn them into money. i felt that the matter was now come to a solemn crisis. about half-past nine sixpence came in, which had been put anonymously into the box at gideon chapel. this money seemed to me like an earnest, that god would have compassion and send more. about ten, after i had returned from brother craik, to whom i had unbosomed my heart again, whilst once more in prayer for help, a sister called who gave two sovereigns to my wife for the orphans, stating that she had felt herself stirred up to come and that she had delayed coming already too long. a few minutes after, when i went into the room where she was, she gave me two sovereigns more, and all this without knowing the least about our need. thus the lord most mercifully has sent us a little help, to the great encouragement of my faith. a few minutes after i was called on for money from the infant orphan-house, to which i sent £ , and £ s. d. to the boys' orphan-house, and £ to the girls' orphan-house." a precious deliverance. "sept. [ ].--the trial still continues. it is now more and more trying, even to faith, as each day comes. truly, the lord has wise purposes in allowing us to call so long upon him for help. but i am sure god will send help, if we can but wait. one of the labourers had had a little money come in of which he gave s. d.; another labourer gave s. d., being all the money she had left; this, with s. d., which, partly, had come in, and, partly was in hand, enabled us to pay what needed to be paid, and to purchase provisions, so that nothing yet, in any way, has been lacking. this evening i was rather tired respecting the long delay of larger sums coming; but being led to go to the scriptures for comfort, my soul was greatly refreshed, and my faith again strengthened, by the xxxivth psalm, so that i went very cheerfully to meet with my dear fellow-labourers for prayer. i read to them the psalm, and sought to cheer their hearts through the precious promises contained in it." "sept. .--brother t. had s. in hand, and i had s. this £ s. enabled us to buy the meat and bread, which was needed; a little tea for one of the houses, and milk for all; no more than this is needed. thus the lord has provided not only for this day; for there is bread for two days in hand. now, however, we are come to an extremity. the funds are exhausted. the labourers, who had a little money, have given as long as they had any left. now observe how the lord helped us! a lady from the neighbourhood of london who brought a parcel with money from her daughter, arrived four or five days since in bristol, and took lodgings next door to the boys' orphan-house. this afternoon she herself kindly brought me the money, amounting to £ s. d. we had been reduced so low as to be on the point of selling those things which could be spared; but this morning i had asked the lord, if it might be, to prevent the necessity, of our doing so. that the money had been so near the orphan-houses for several days without being given, is a plain proof that it was from the beginning in the heart of god to help us; but because he delights in the prayers of his children, he had allowed us to pray so long; also to try our faith, and to make the answer so much the sweeter. it is indeed a precious deliverance. i burst out into loud praises and thanks the first moment i was alone, after i had received the money. i met with my fellow-labourers again this evening for prayer and praise; their hearts were not a little cheered. this money was this evening divided, and will comfortably provide for all that will be needed to-morrow." chapter ii. the new orphan houses, ashley down. a complaint having been received from a gentleman in october, , that some of the inhabitants of wilson street were inconvenienced by the orphan-houses being in that street, mr. müller ultimately decided for that and other reasons, after much prayerful meditation, to build an orphan-house elsewhere to accommodate children, and commenced to ask the lord for means for so doing:-- "jan. [ ].--it is now days since i have been daily waiting upon god about the building of an orphan-house. the time seems to me now near when the lord will give us a piece of ground, and i told the brethren and sisters so this evening, after our usual saturday evening prayer meeting at the orphan-houses. "feb. .--a poor widow sent to-day s. "feb. .--to-day i heard of suitable and cheap land on ashley down. "feb. .--saw the land. it is the most desirable of all i have seen.--there was anonymously put in an orphan-box at my house a sovereign, in a piece of paper, on which was written, 'the new orphan-house.' "feb. .--this evening i called on the owner of the land on ashley down, about which i had heard on the nd, but he was not at home. as i, however, had been informed that i should find him at his house of business, i went there, but did not find him there either, as he had _just before_ left. i might have called again at his residence, at a later hour having been informed by one of the servants that he would be sure to be at home about eight o'clock; but i did not do so, judging that there was the hand of god in my not finding him at either place: and i judged it best therefore not to force the matter, but to 'let patience have her perfect work.' "feb. .--saw this morning the owner of the land. he told me that he awoke at three o'clock this morning and could not sleep again till five. while he was thus lying awake, his mind was all the time occupied about the piece of land, respecting which inquiry had been made of him for the building of an orphan-house, at my request; and he determined that if i should apply for it, he would not only let me have it, but for £ per acre, instead of £ ; the price which he had previously asked for it. how good is the lord! the agreement was made this morning, and i purchased a field of nearly seven acres, at £ per acre. "observe the hand of god in my not finding the owner at home last evening! the lord meant to speak to his servant first about this matter, during a sleepless night, and to lead him _fully_ to decide, before i had seen him." "because of his importunity." "nov. [ ].--i am now led more and more to importune the lord to send me the means, which are requisite in order that i may be able to commence the building. because ( ) it has been for some time past publicly stated in print, that i allow it is not without ground that some of the inhabitants of wilson street consider themselves inconvenienced by the orphan-houses being in that street, and i long therefore to be able to remove the orphans from thence as soon as possible. ( ) i become more and more convinced, that it would be greatly for the benefit of the children, both physically and morally, with god's blessing, to be in such a position as they are intended to occupy, when the new orphan-house shall have been built. and ( ) because the number of very poor and destitute orphans, that are waiting for admission, is so great, and there are constantly fresh applications made. now whilst, by god's grace, i would not wish the building to be begun one single day sooner than is his will; and whilst i firmly believe, that he will give me, in his own time every shilling which i need; yet i also know, that he delights in being earnestly entreated, and that he takes pleasure in the continuance in prayer, and in the importuning him, which so clearly is to be seen from the parable of the widow and the unjust judge, luke xviii. - . for these reasons i gave myself again particularly to prayer last evening, that the lord would send further means, being also especially led to do so, in addition to the above reasons, because there had come in but little comparatively, since the th of last month. this morning, between five and six o'clock i prayed again, among other points, about the building fund, and then had a long season for the reading of the word of god. in the course of my reading i came to mark xi. , 'what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.' the importance of the truth contained in this portion i have often felt and spoken about; but this morning i felt it again most particularly, and, applying it to the new orphan-house, said to the lord: 'lord i believe that thou wilt give me all i need for this work. i am sure that i shall have all, because i believe that i receive in answer to my prayer.' thus, with the heart full of peace concerning this work, i went on to the other part of the chapter, and to the next chapter. after family prayer i had again my usual season for prayer with regard to all the many parts of the work, and the various necessities thereof, asking also blessings upon my fellow-labourers, upon the circulation of bibles and tracts, and upon the precious souls in the adult school, the sunday schools, the six day schools, and the four orphan-houses. amidst all the many things i again made my requests about means for the building. and now observe: about five minutes, after i had risen from my knees, there was given to me a registered letter, containing a cheque for £ , of which £ are for the building fund, £ for my own personal expenses, and £ for brother craik. the lord's holy name be praised for this precious encouragement, by which the building fund is now increased to more than six thousand pounds." mr. mÜller's first orphan-house. "jan. [ ].--the season of the year is now approaching, when building may be begun. therefore with increased earnestness i have given myself unto prayer, importuning the lord that he would be pleased to appear on our behalf, and speedily send the remainder of the amount which is required, and i have increasingly, of late, felt that the time is drawing near, when the lord will give me all that which is requisite for commencing the building. all the various arguments which i have often brought before god, i brought also again this morning before him. it is now months and weeks since day by day i have uttered my petitions to god on behalf of this work. i rose from my knees this morning in full confidence, not only that god _could_, but also _would_, send the means, and that soon. never, during all these months and weeks, have i had the least doubt, that i should have all that which is requisite.--and now, dear believing reader, rejoice and praise with me. about an hour, after i had prayed thus, there was given to me the sum of two thousand pounds for the building fund. thus i have received altogether £ , s. ½d. towards this work.--i cannot describe the joy i had in god when i received this donation. it must be known from experience, in order to be felt. days i have had day by day to wait upon god, before the sum reached the above amount. how great is the blessing which the soul obtains by _trusting in god_, and _by waiting patiently_. is it not manifest how precious it is to carry on god's work in this way, even with regard to the obtaining of means?" the total amount which came in for the building fund was £ , s. d. orphan-houses nos. & . "march , .--it was in november, , that my mind became exercised about enlarging the orphan work from orphans to , and subsequently to ; and it was in june, , that this my purpose became known, having kept it secret for more than seven months, whilst day by day praying about it. from the end of november, , to this day, march , , not one single day has been allowed to pass, without this contemplated enlargement being brought before god in prayer, and generally more than once a day. but only now, this day, the new orphan-house no. was so far advanced, that it could be opened. observe then, first, esteemed reader, how long it may be, before a full answer to our prayers, even to thousands and tens of thousands of prayers, is granted; yea, though those prayers may be believing prayers, earnest prayers, and offered up in the name of the lord jesus, and though we may only for the sake of the honour of our lord desire the answer: for i did, by the grace of god, without the least doubt and wavering look for more than eleven years for the full answer; * * * and i sought only in this matter the glory of god." praying three times daily for helpers. "as in the case of no. , so also in the case of the new orphan-house no. , i had daily prayed for the needed helpers and assistants for the various departments. before a stone was laid, i began to pray for this; and, as the building progressed, i continued day by day to bring this matter before god, feeling assured, that, as in everything else, so in this particular also, he would graciously be pleased to appear on our behalf and help us, as the whole work is intended for his honour and glory. "at last the time was near when the house could be opened, and the time therefore near when the applications, which had been made in writing during more than two years previously, should be considered, for the filling up of the various posts. it now, however, was found that, whilst there had been about applications made for the various situations, some places could not be filled up, because either the individuals, who had applied for them, were married, or were, on examination, found unsuitable. this was no small trial of faith; for day by day, for years, had i asked god to help me in this particular, even as he had done in the case of the new orphan-house no. ; i had also expected help, confidently expected help: and yet now, when help _seemed_ needed, it was wanting. what was now to be done, dear reader? would it have been right to charge god with unfaithfulness? would it have been right to distrust him? would it have been right to say, it is useless to pray? by no means. this, on the contrary, i did; i thanked god for all the help, he had given me in connection with the whole of the enlargement; i thanked him for enabling me to overcome so many and such great difficulties; i thanked him for the helpers he had given me for no. ; i thanked him, also, for the helpers he had given me already for no. ; and instead of distrusting god, i looked upon this delay of the full answer to prayer, only as a trial of faith, and therefore resolved, that, instead of praying _once_ a day with my dear wife about this matter, as we had been doing day by day for years, we should now meet daily _three_ times, to bring this before god. i also brought the matter before the whole staff of my helpers in the work requesting their prayers. thus i have now continued for about four months longer in prayer, day by day calling upon god three times on account of this need, and the result has been, that one helper after the other has been given, without the help coming _too_ late, or the work getting into confusion; or the reception of the children being hindered; and i am fully assured, that the few who are yet needed will also be found, when they are _really_ required." difficulties removed after prayer and patience. mr. müller relates the following incidents in connection with the purchase of the land for the fourth and fifth orphan-houses, after receiving five thousand pounds for the building fund: "i had now, through all that had come in since may th, , including this last-mentioned donation, above twenty-seven thousand pounds in hand. i had patiently waited god's time. i had determined to do nothing, until i had the full half of the sum needed for the two houses. but now, having above two thousand pounds beyond the half, i felt, after again seeking counsel from god, quite happy, in taking steps for the purchase of land. "my eyes had been for years directed to a beautiful piece of land, only separated by the turnpike road from the ground on which the new orphan-house no. is erected. the land is about acres, with a small house and outhouses built on one end thereof. hundreds of times had i prayed, within the last years, that god for jesus' sake would count me worthy, to be allowed to erect on this ground two more orphan-houses; and hundreds of times i had with a prayerful eye looked on this land, yea, as it were, bedewed it with my prayers. i might have bought it years ago; but that would have been going before the lord. i had money enough in hand to have paid for it years ago; but i desired patiently, submissively, to wait god's own time, and for him to mark it clearly and distinctly that his time was come, and that i took the step according to his will; for whatever i might apparently accomplish, if the work were mine, and not the lord's, i could expect no blessing. but now the lord's mind was clearly and distinctly made manifest. i had enough money in hand to pay for the land and to build one house, and therefore i went forward, after having still asked the lord for guidance, and being assured that it was his will i should take active steps. the first thing i did was, to see the agent who acted for the owner of the land, and to ask him, whether the land was for sale. he replied that it was, but that it was let till march th, . he said that he would write for the price. here a great difficulty at once presented itself, that the land was let for two years and four months longer, whilst it appeared desirable that i should be able to take possession of it in about six months, viz., as soon as the conveyance could be made out, and the plans be ready for the new orphan-house no. , and arrangements be made with contractors. but i was not discouraged by this difficulty; for i expected, through prayer, to make happy and satisfactory arrangements with the tenant, being willing to give him a fair compensation for leaving before his time had expired. but, before i had time to see about this, two other great difficulties presented themselves: the one was, that the owner asked £ , for the land, which i judged to be considerably more than its value; and the other, that i heard that the bristol waterworks company intended to make an additional reservoir for their water, on this very land, and to get an act of parliament passed to that effect. "pause here for a few moments, esteemed reader. you have seen, how the lord brought me so far, with regard to pecuniary means, that i felt now warranted to go forward; and i may further add, that i was brought to this point as the result of thousands of times praying regarding this object; and that there were, also, many hundreds of children waiting for admission; and yet, after the lord himself so manifestly had appeared on our behalf, by the donation of £ , , he allows this apparent death-blow to come upon the whole. but thus i have found it hundreds of times since i have known the lord. the difficulties, which he is pleased to allow to arise, are only allowed, under such circumstances, for the exercise of our faith and patience; and more prayer, more patience, and the exercise of faith, will remove the difficulties. now, as i knew the lord, these difficulties were no insurmountable difficulties to me, for i put my trust in him, according to that word: "the lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. and they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee." (psalm ix. , ). i gave myself, therefore, earnestly to prayer concerning all these three especial difficulties which had arisen regarding the land. i prayed several times daily about the matter, and used the following means: . i saw the acting committee of the directors of the bristol waterworks company regarding their intended reservoir on the land, which i was about to purchase, and stated to them, what i had seen in print concerning their intentions. they courteously stated to me, that only a small portion of the land would be required, not enough to interfere with my purpose; and that, if it could be avoided, even this small portion should not be taken. . this being settled, i now saw the tenant, after many prayers; for i desired, as a christian, that if this land were bought, it should be done under amicable circumstances with regard to him. at the first interview, i stated my intentions to him, at the same time expressing my desire that the matter should be settled pleasantly with regard to himself. he said that he would consider the matter, and desired a few days for that purpose. after a week i saw him again, and he then kindly stated, that, as the land was wanted for such an object, he would not stand in the way; but that, as he had laid out a good deal on the house and land, he expected a compensation for leaving it before his time was up. as i, of course, was quite willing to give a _fair_ and _reasonable_ compensation, i considered this a very precious answer to prayer. . i now entered upon the third difficulty, the price of the land. i knew well how much the land was worth to the orphan institution; but its value to the institution was not the market value. i gave myself, therefore, day by day to prayer, that the lord would constrain the owner to accept a considerably lower sum than he had asked; i also pointed out to him why it was not worth as much as he asked. at last he consented to take £ , instead of £ , , and i accepted the offer; for i knew that by the level character of the land we should save a considerable sum for the two houses, and that by the new sewer, which only a few months before had been completed, running along under the turnpike road near the field, we should be considerably benefited. in addition to these two points i had to take into the account, that we can have gas from bristol, as in the three houses already in operation. and lastly, the most important point of all, the nearness of this piece of land to the other three houses, so that all could easily be under the same direction and superintendence. in fact, no other piece of land, near or far off, would present so much advantage to us, as this spot, which the lord thus so very kindly had given to us. all being now settled, i proceeded to have the land conveyed to the same trustees who stood trustees for the new orphan-houses no. , no. , and no. .--i have thus minutely dwelt on these various matters for the encouragement of the reader, that he may not be discouraged by difficulties, however great and many and varied, but give himself to prayer, trusting in the lord for help, yea, expecting help, which, in his own time and way, he will surely grant." orphan-houses nos. & . "march , .--both houses, no. and no. , have now been for years in operation, no. since nov. and no. since the beginning of the year , and above , orphans have been already received into them, and month after month more are received, as the orphans are sent out from them as apprentices or servants. moreover all the expenses in connection with their being built, fitted up and furnished were met to the full, as the demands arose, and, after all had been paid, there was left a balance of several thousand pounds, which is being used for keeping the houses in repair. see, esteemed reader, how abundantly god answered our prayers, and how plain it is, that we were not mistaken, after we had patiently and prayerfully sought to ascertain his will. be encouraged, therefore, yet further and further to confide in the living god." chapter iii precious answers to prayer in remarkable ways god helped mr. müller as "the narratives" show:-- the artist's first return. "april [ ].--received the following letter from a considerable distance: 'my dear christian brother, i am the husband of mrs. ---- who sends you by this post the two sovereign piece. how can we better dispose of this relic of affectionate remembrance, than by depositing it in the bank of christ, who always pays the best interest, and never fails.--now, my best and spiritual counsellor, i cannot express to you the exceeding great joy i feel, in relating what follows. i am an artist, a _poor_ artist, a landscape painter. about two weeks ago i sent a picture to bristol for exhibition, just as i finished your book that was lent us. i most humbly and earnestly prayed to god to enable me, by the sale of my bristol picture, to have the blessed privilege of sending you _half the proceeds_. the price of the picture is £ . now mark. immediately the exhibition is open, god, in his mercy, mindful of my prayer, sends me a purchaser. i have exhibited in bristol before, _but never sold_ a picture. oh! my dear friend, my very heart leaps for joy. i have never been so near god before. through your instrumentality i have been enabled to draw nearer to god, with more earnestness, more faith, more holy desires.--this is the _first return_ god has blessed me with for the whole of my last year's labours. what a blessing to have it so returned!--oh, with what joy i read your book!--the picture i speak of is now being exhibited in the academy of arts at clifton, numbered in the catalogue ----, the title is ----. i cannot pay you till the close of the exhibition, as i shall not be paid till then, &c.' of such letters i have had thousands during the last years." the north wind changed into a south wind. "it was towards the end of november of , when i was most unexpectedly informed that the boiler of our heating apparatus at no. leaked very considerably, so that it was impossible to go through the winter with such a leak.--our heating apparatus consists of a large cylinder boiler, inside of which the fire is kept, and with which boiler the water pipes, that warm the rooms, are connected. hot air is also connected with this apparatus. the boiler had been considered suited for the work of the winter. to suspect that it was worn out, and not to do anything towards replacing it by a new one, and to have said, i will trust in god regarding it, would be careless presumption, but not faith in god. it would be the counterfeit of faith. "the boiler is entirely surrounded by brickwork; its state, therefore, could not be known without taking down the brickwork; this, if needless, would be rather injurious to the boiler, than otherwise; and as for eight winters we had had no difficulty in this way, we had not anticipated it now. but suddenly, and most unexpectedly, at the commencement of the winter, this difficulty occurred. what then was to be done? for the children, especially the younger infants, i felt deeply concerned, that they might not suffer, through want of warmth. but how were we to obtain warmth? the introduction of a _new_ boiler would, in all probability, take many weeks. the _repairing_ of the boiler was a questionable matter, on account of the greatness of the leak; but, if not, nothing could be said of it, till the brick-chamber in which it is enclosed, was, at least in part, removed; but that would, at least, as far as we could judge, take days; and what was to be done in the meantime, to find warm rooms for children? it naturally occurred to me, to introduce temporary gas-stoves; but on further weighing the matter, it was found, that we should be unable to heat our very large rooms with gas, except we had many stoves, which we could not introduce, as we had not a sufficient quantity of gas to spare from our lighting apparatus. moreover, for each of these stoves we needed a small chimney, to carry off the impure air. this mode of heating, therefore, though applicable to a hall, a staircase, or a shop, would not suit our purpose. i also thought of the temporary introduction of arnott's stoves; but they would have been unsuitable, requiring long chimneys (as they would have been of a temporary kind) to go out of the windows. on this account, the uncertainty of their answering in our case, and the disfigurement of the rooms, led me to give up this plan also. but what was to be done? gladly would i have paid £ , if thereby the difficulty could have been overcome, and the children not be exposed to suffer for many days from being in cold rooms. at last i determined on falling entirely into the hands of god, who is very merciful and of tender compassion, and i decided on having the brick-chamber opened, to see the extent of the damage, and whether the boiler might be repaired, so as to carry us through the winter. "the day was fixed, when the workmen were to come, and all the necessary arrangements were made. the fire, of course, had to be let out while the repairs were going on. but now see. after the day was fixed for the repairs a bleak north wind set in. it began to blow either on thursday or friday before the wednesday afternoon, when the fire was to be let out. now came the first really cold weather, which we had in the beginning of that winter, during the first days of december. what was to be done? the repairs could not be put off. i now asked the lord for two things, viz., that he would be pleased to change the north wind into a south wind, and that he would give to the workmen 'a mind to work'; for i remembered how much nehemiah accomplished in days, whilst building the walls of jerusalem, because 'the people had a mind to work.' well, the memorable day came. the evening before, the bleak north wind blew still: but, on the wednesday, the south wind blew: exactly as i had prayed. the weather was so mild that no fire was needed. the brickwork is removed, the leak is found out very soon, the boiler makers begin to repair in good earnest. about half-past eight in the evening, when i was going home, i was informed at the lodge, that the acting principal of the firm, whence the boiler makers came, had arrived to see how the work was going on, and whether he could in any way speed the matter. i went immediately, therefore, into the cellar, to see him with the men, to seek to expedite the business. in speaking to the principal of this, he said in their hearing, 'the men will work late this evening, and come very early again to-morrow.' "'we would rather, sir,' said the leader, 'work all night.' then remembered i the second part of my prayer, that god would give the men 'a mind to work.' thus it was: by the morning the repair was accomplished, the leak was stopped, though with great difficulty, and within about hours the brickwork was up again, and the fire in the boiler; and all the time the south wind blew so mildly, that there was not the least need of a fire. "here, then, is one of our difficulties which was overcome by prayer and faith." conversion of the orphans. "may , .--day after day, and year after year, by the help of god, we labour in prayer for the spiritual benefit of the orphans under our care. these our supplications, which have been for years brought before the lord concerning them, have been abundantly answered, in former years, in the conversion of hundreds from among them. we have, also, had repeated seasons in which, within a short time, or even all at once, _many_ of the orphans were converted. such a season we had about three years since, when, within a few days, about were brought to believe in the lord jesus; and such seasons we have had again twice during the first year. the first was in july, , when the spirit of god wrought so mightily in one school of girls, as that very many, yea more than one-half, were brought under deep concern about the salvation of their souls. this work, moreover, was not a mere momentary excitement; but, after more than eleven months have elapsed, there are concerning whom there is _full_ confidence as to their conversion, and concerning whom there is likewise a goodly measure of confidence, though not to the same amount, as regarding the . there are therefore out of the orphans in that one school who are considered to have been converted in july, . this blessed and mighty work of the holy spirit cannot be traced to any particular cause. it was however, a most precious answer to prayer. as such we look upon it, and are encouraged by it to further waiting upon god. the second season of the mighty working of the holy spirit among the orphans, during the past year, was at the end of january and the beginning of february, . the particulars of it are of the deepest interest; but i must content myself by stating, that this great work of the spirit of god in january and february, , began among the younger class of the children under our care, little girls of about , , and years old; then extended to the older girls; and then to the boys, so that within about days above of the orphans were stirred up to be anxious about their souls, and in _many_ instances found peace _immediately_, through faith in our lord jesus. they at once requested to be allowed to hold prayer-meetings among themselves, and have had these meetings ever since. many of them also manifested a concern about the salvation of their companions and relations, and spoke or wrote to them, about the way to be saved." apprenticing the orphans. "in the early part of the summer, , it was found that we had several boys ready to be apprenticed; but there were no applications made by masters for apprentices. as all our boys are invariably sent out as indoor apprentices, this was no small difficulty; for we not only look for christian masters, but consider their business, and examine into their position, to see whether they are suitable; and the master must also be willing to receive the apprentice into his own family. under these circumstances, we again gave ourselves to prayer, as we had done for more than twenty years before, concerning this thing, instead of advertising, which, in all probability, would only bring before us masters who desire apprentices for the sake of the premium. we remembered how good the lord had been to us, in having helped us hundreds of times before, in this very matter. some weeks passed, but the difficulty remained. we continued, however, in prayer, and then one application was made, and then another; and since we first began to pray about this matter, last summer, we have been able to send out altogether boys up to may , ; the difficulty was thus again entirely overcome by prayer, as every one of the boys, whom it was desirable to send out, has been sent out." sickness at the orphanage. sickness at times visited the houses. "during the summer and autumn of we had also the measles at all the three orphan-houses. after they had made their appearance, our especial prayer was: . that there might not be too many children ill at one time in this disease, so that our accommodation in the infirmary rooms or otherwise might be sufficient. this prayer was answered to the full; for though we had at the new orphan-house no. not less than cases, in no. altogether , and in no. altogether ; yet god so graciously was pleased to listen to our supplications, as that when our spare rooms were filled with the invalids, he so long stayed the spreading of the measles till a sufficient number were restored, so as to make room for others, who were taken ill. . further we prayed, that the children, who were taken ill in the measles, might be safely brought through and not die. thus it was. we had the full answer to our prayers; for though children altogether had the measles, not one of them died. . lastly we prayed, that no evil physical consequences might follow this disease, as is so often the case; this was also granted. all the children not only recovered, but did well afterwards. i gratefully record this signal mercy and blessing of god, and this full and precious answer to prayer, to the honour of his name." help for needy brethren. .--"the end of the year was now at hand, and, in winding up the accounts, it was my earnest desire, to do once more all i could, in sending help to needy labourers in the gospel. i went therefore through the list, writing against the various names of those to whom i had not already recently sent, what amount it appeared desirable to send; and i found, when these sums were added together, the total was £ , but £ was all i had in hand. i wrote therefore a cheque for £ , though i would have gladly sent £ , yet felt thankful, at the same time, that i had this amount in hand for these brethren. having written the cheque, as the last occupation of the day, then came my usual season for prayer, for the many things which i daily, by the help of god, bring before him; and then again, i brought also the case of these preachers of the gospel before the lord, and besought him that he would even now be pleased to give me yet a goodly sum for them, though there remained but three days to the close of our year. this being done, i went home about nine o'clock in the evening, and found there had arrived from a great distance £ for missions, with £ left at my disposal, and £ for myself. i took, therefore, the whole £ for missions, and thus had £ in hand to meet the £ which i desired for this object. those who know the blessedness of really trusting in god, and getting help from him, as in this case, in answer to prayer, will be able to enter into the spiritual enjoyment i had in the reception of that donation, in which both the answer to prayer was granted, and with it the great enjoyment of gladdening the hearts of many devoted servants of christ." the heart's desire given to help mission work in china. "sept. [ ].--from yorkshire £ .--received also one thousand pounds to-day for the lord's work in china. about this donation it is especially to be noticed, that for months it had been my earnest desire to do more than ever for mission work in china, and i had already taken steps to carry out this desire, when this donation of one thousand pounds came to hand. this precious answer to prayer for means should be a particular encouragement to all who are engaged in the lord's work, and who may need means for it. it proves afresh, that, if our work is his work, and we honour him, by waiting upon and looking to him for means, he will surely, in his own time and way, supply them." the joy of answers to prayer. "the joy which answers to prayer give, cannot be described; and the impetus which they afford to the spiritual life is exceedingly great. the experience of this happiness i desire for all my christian readers. if you believe indeed in the lord jesus for the salvation of your soul, if you walk uprightly and do not regard iniquity in your heart, if you continue to wait patiently, and believingly upon god; then answers will surely be given to your prayers. you may not be called upon to serve the lord in the way the writer does, and therefore may never have answers to prayer respecting such things as are recorded here; but, in your various circumstances, your family, your business, your profession, your church position, your labour for the lord, etc., you may have answers as distinct as any here recorded." the great need of being saved by faith in christ jesus. "should this, however, be read by any who are not believers in the lord jesus, but who are going on in the carelessness or self-righteousness of their unrenewed hearts, then i would affectionately and solemnly beseech such, first of all to be reconciled to god by faith in the lord jesus. you are sinners. you deserve punishment. if you do not see this, ask god to show it unto you. let this now be your first and especial prayer. ask god also to enlighten you not merely concerning your state by nature, but especially to reveal the lord jesus to your heart. god sent him, that he might bear the punishment, due to us guilty sinners. god accepts the obedience and sufferings of the lord jesus, in the room of those who depend upon him for the salvation of their souls; and the moment a sinner believes in the lord jesus, he obtains the forgiveness of all his sins. when thus he is reconciled to god, by faith in the lord jesus, and has obtained the forgiveness of his sins, he has boldness to enter into the presence of god, to make known his requests unto him; and the more he is enabled to realize that his sins are forgiven, and that god, for christ's sake, is well pleased with those who believe on him, the more ready he will be to come with all his wants, both temporal and spiritual, to his heavenly father, that he may supply them. but as long as the consciousness of unpardoned guilt remains, so long shall we be kept at a distance from god, especially as it regards prayer. therefore, dear reader, if you are an unforgiven sinner, let your first and especial prayer be, that god would be pleased to reveal to your heart the lord jesus, his beloved son." a double answer. "july [ ].--from the neighbourhood of london £ , with the following letter: 'my dear sir, i believe that it is through the lord's actings upon me, that i enclose you a cheque on the bank of england, western branch, for £ . i hope that your affairs are going on well. yours in the lord * * * *.' this christian gentleman, whom i have never seen, and who is engaged in a very large business in london, had sent me several times before a similar sum. a day or two before i received this last kind donation, i had asked the lord, that he would be pleased to influence the heart of this donor to help me again, which i had never done before regarding him; and thus i had the double answer to prayer, in that not only money came in, but money from _him_. the reader will now see the meaning in the donor's letter, when he wrote 'i believe that it is through the lord's actings upon me that i enclose you a cheque, &c.' verily it was the lord who acted upon this gentleman, to send me this sum. perhaps the reader may think, that in acknowledging the receipt of the donation, i wrote to the donor what i have here stated. i did not. my reason for not doing so was, lest he should have thought i was in especial need, and might have been thus influenced to send more. in truly knowing the lord, in really relying upon him and upon him alone, there is no need of giving hints directly or indirectly, whereby individuals may be induced further to help. i might have written to the donor (as was indeed the case), i need a considerable sum day by day for the current expenses of the various objects of the institution, and also might have with truth told him, at that time, that i yet needed about twenty thousand pounds, to enable me to meet all the expenses connected with the contemplated enlargement of the orphan work. but my practice is, never to allude to any of these things in my correspondence with donors. when the report is published, every one can see, who has a desire to see, how matters stand; and thus i leave things in the hands of god, to speak for us to the hearts of his stewards. and this he does. verily we do not wait upon god in _!" christians in business. "jan. [ ].--from scotland £ for missions, £ for the circulation of the holy scriptures and £ for the circulation of tracts. received also from a considerable distance £ for these objects, with £ for the orphans. about this latter donation i make a few remarks. at the early part of the year , a christian business man wrote to me for advice in his peculiar difficult business affairs. his letter showed that he had a desire to walk in the ways of the lord, and to carry on his business to the glory of god; but his circumstances were of the most trying character. i therefore wrote to him to come to bristol, that i might be able to advise him. accordingly he undertook the long journey, and i had an interview with him, through which i saw his most trying position in business. having fully conversed with him, i gave him the following counsel: , that he should day by day, expressly for the purpose, retire with his christian wife, that they might unitedly spread their business difficulties before god in prayer, and do this, if possible, twice a day. , that he should look out for answers to his prayers, and expect that god would help him. , that he should avoid all business trickeries, such as exposing for sale two or three articles, marked below cost price, for the sake of attracting customers, because of its being unbecoming a disciple of the lord jesus to use such artifices; and that, if he did so, he could not reckon on the blessing of god. , i advised him further, to set apart; out of his profits, week by week, a certain proportion for the work of god, whether his income was much or little, and use this income faithfully for the lord. , lastly, i asked him, to let me know, month after month, how the lord dealt with him.--the reader will feel interested to learn, that from that time the lord was pleased to prosper the business of this dear christian brother, so that his returns from the st of march, , up to march , , were £ , s. d., while during the same period the previous year they had been only £ , s. d., therefore £ , s. d. more than the year before. when he sent me the donation above referred to, he also writes, that he had been enabled to put aside during the previous year £ s. d. for the work of god or the need of the poor.--i have so fully dwelt on this, because christians in business may be benefited by it." revival in the orphan-houses. "in giving the statistics of the previous year [ - ], i referred already to the great spiritual blessing, which it pleased the lord to grant to the orphan work at the end of that year and the beginning of this; but, as this is so deeply important a subject, i enter somewhat further and more fully into it here. it was stated before, that the spiritual condition of the orphans generally gave to us great sorrow of heart, because there were so few, comparatively, among them, who were in earnest about their souls, and resting on the atoning death of the lord jesus for salvation. this our sorrow led us to lay it on the whole staff of assistants, matrons and teachers, to seek earnestly the lord's blessing on the souls of the children. this was done in our united prayer meetings, and, i have reason to believe, in secret also; and in answer to these our secret and united prayers, in the year , there were, as the result of this, more believers by far among the orphans than ever. on jan. , , the lord began to work among them, and this work was going on more or less afterwards. in the new orphan-house no. , it showed itself least, till it pleased the lord to lay his hand heavily on that house, by the small-pox; and, from that time the working of the holy spirit was felt in that house also, particularly in one department. at the end of july, , i received the statements of all the matrons and teachers in the five houses, who reported to me, that, after careful observation and conversation, they had good reason to believe that of the orphans then under our care, were believers in the lord jesus. this number of believing orphans is by far greater than ever we had, for which we adore and praise the lord! see how the lord overruled the great trial, occasioned by the small-pox, and turned it into a great blessing! see, also, how, after so low a state, comparatively, which led us to prayer, earnest prayer, the working of the holy spirit was more manifest than ever!" mr. mÜller's mission tours. in the year , when seventy years of age, mr. müller was led to start on his missionary tours, and during the next twenty years preached to more than three million people, in forty-two countries of the world. "on august th, ," mr. müller says, "we began our ninth missionary tour. the first place at which i preached was weymouth, where i spoke in public four times. from weymouth we went, by way of calais and brussels, to düsseldorf on the rhine, where i preached many times six years before. during this visit, i spoke there in public eight times. regarding my stay at düsseldorf, for the encouragement of the reader, i relate the following circumstance. during our first visit to that city, in the year , a godly city missionary came to me one day, greatly tried, because he had six sons, for whose conversion he had been praying many years, and yet they remained unconcerned about their souls, and he desired me to tell him what to do. my reply was, '_continue_ to pray for your sons, and _expect_ an answer to your prayer, and you will have to praise god.' now, when after six years i was again in the same city, this dear man came to me and said he was surprised he had not seen before himself what he ought to do, and that he had resolved to take my advice and more earnestly than ever give himself to prayer. two months after he saw me, five of his six sons were converted within eight days, and have for six years now walked in the ways of the lord, and he had hope that the sixth son also was beginning to be concerned about his state before god. may the christian reader be encouraged by this, should his prayers not at once be answered; and, instead of ceasing to pray, wait upon god all the more earnestly and perseveringly, and _expect_ answers to his petitions." the divine plan for sending out foreign missionaries. the bristol church with which mr. müller was connected has been privileged to set an example to the church of god of the way in which foreign missionaries (who are so greatly needed) can be sent forth in answer to prayer. mr. müller writes on p. , vol. i. of his narrative:-- "i also mention here, that during the eight years previous to my going to germany to labour there, it had been laid on my heart, and on the hearts of some other brethren among us, to ask the lord that he would be pleased to honour us, as a body of believers, by calling forth from our midst brethren, for carrying the truth into foreign lands. but this prayer seemed to remain unanswered. now, however, the time was come when the lord was about to answer it, and i, on whose heart particularly this matter had been laid, was to be the first to carry forth the truth from among us. about that very time the lord called our dear brother and sister barrington from among us, to go to demerara, to labour there in connexion with our esteemed brother strong, and our dear brother and sister espenett, to go to switzerland. both these dear brethren and sisters left very shortly after i had gone to germany. but this was not all. our much valued brother mordal, who had commended himself to the saints by his unwearied faithful service among us for twelve years, had from aug. , , (the day on which brothers strong and barrington sailed from bristol for demerara), his mind likewise exercised about service there, and went out from among us eleven months after. he, together with myself, had had it particularly laid upon his heart, during the eight years previously, to ask the lord again and again to call labourers from among us for foreign service. of all persons he, the father of a large family, and about years of age, seemed the least likely to be called to that work; but god did call him. he went, laboured a little while in demerara, and then, on january , , the lord took him to his rest.--when we ask god for a thing, such as that he would be pleased to raise up labourers for his harvest, or send means for the carrying on of his work, the honest question to be put to our hearts should be this: am _i_ willing to go, if he should call _me_? am _i_ willing to give according to _my_ ability? for we may be the very persons whom the lord will call for the work, or whose means he may wish to employ." in the report of the scriptural knowledge institution for mr. müller shows how greatly this body of believers has been honoured by god. "from our own midst, as a church sixty brethren and sisters have gone forth to foreign fields of labour, some of whom have finished their labour on earth; but there are still about forty yet engaged in this precious service." why should not the great and crying need for workers in asia, africa, and other parts of the world be thus met by thousands of churches in europe and america following this divine plan of praying the lord of the harvest that he would send forth labourers from among them? surely they may expect god to answer their prayers as he did the prayers of this bristol church. look what has been done in china by the faithful use of god's method! we quote mr. hudson taylor's words as given in _china's millions_ for july, :-- "for the obtaining of fellow-workers we took the master's direction, 'pray ye the lord of the harvest.' as for the first five before the mission was formed, so for the twenty-four for whom we first asked for the c.i.m.; for further reinforcements when they were needed; for the seventy in three years, for the hundred in one year, and for further additions from time to time, we have ever relied on this plan. is it possible that in any other way such a band of workers from nearly every denomination, and from many lands, could have been gathered and kept together for thirty years with no other bond save that which the call of god and the love of god has proved--a band now numbering over seven hundred men and women, aided by more than five hundred native workers." the beginning of the revival. "in november, , a young irishman, mr. james mcquilkin, was brought to the knowledge of the lord. soon after his conversion he saw my narrative advertised, viz.: the first two volumes of this book. he had a great desire to read it, and procured it accordingly, about january, . god blessed it greatly to his soul, especially in showing to him, what could be obtained by prayer. he said to himself something like this: 'see what mr. müller obtains simply by prayer. thus i may obtain blessing by prayer.' he now set himself to pray, that the lord would give him a spiritual companion, one who knew the lord. soon after he became acquainted with a young man who was a believer. these two began a prayer-meeting in one of the sunday schools in the parish of connor. having his prayer answered in obtaining a spiritual companion, mr. james mcquilkin asked the lord to lead him to become acquainted with some more of his hidden ones. soon after the lord gave him two more young men, who were believers previously, as far as he could judge. in autumn, , mr. james mcquilkin stated to these three young men, given him in answer to believing prayer, what blessing he had derived from my narrative, how it had led him to see the power of believing prayer; and he proposed that they should meet for prayer to seek the lord's blessing upon their various labours in the sunday schools, prayer-meetings, and preaching of the gospel. accordingly in autumn, , these four young men met together for prayer in a small school-house near the village of kells, in the parish of connor, every friday evening. by this time the great and mighty working of the spirit, in , in the united states, had become known, and mr. james mcquilkin said to himself, 'why may not we have such a blessed work here, seeing that god did such great things for mr. müller, simply in answer to prayer.' on january , , the lord gave them the first remarkable answer to prayer in the conversion of a farm servant. he was taken into the number, and thus there were five who gave themselves to prayer. shortly after, another young man, about years old, was converted; there were now six. this greatly encouraged the other three who first had met with mr. james mcquilkin. others now were converted, who were also taken into the number; but only believers were admitted to these fellowship meetings, in which they read, prayed, and offered to each other a few thoughts from the scriptures. these meetings and others for the preaching of the gospel were held in the parish of connor, antrim, ireland. up to this time all was going on most quietly, though many souls were converted, there were no physical prostrations, as afterwards. "about christmas, , a young man, from ahoghill, who had come to live at connor, and who had been converted through this little company of believers, went to see his friends at ahoghill, and spoke to them about their own souls, and the work of god at connor. his friends desired to see some of these converts. accordingly mr. james mcquilkin, with two of the first who met for prayer, went on february , , and held a meeting at ahoghill in one of the presbyterian churches. some believed, some mocked, and others thought there was a great deal of presumption in these young converts; yet many wished to have another meeting. this was held by the same three young men on february th, ; and now the spirit of god began to work, and to work mightily. souls were converted, and from that time conversions multiplied rapidly. some of these converts went to other places, and carried the spiritual fire, so to speak, with them. the blessed work of the spirit of god spread in _many places_.--on april th, , mr. james mcquilkin went to ballymena, held a meeting there in one of the presbyterian churches; and on april th held another meeting in another of the presbyterian churches. several were convinced of sin and the work of the spirit of god went forward in ballymena.--on may th, , he went to belfast. during the first week there were meetings held in five different presbyterian churches, and from that time the blessed work commenced at belfast. in all these visits he was accompanied and helped by mr. jeremiah meneely, one of the three young men who first met with him, after the reading of my narrative. from this time the work of the holy ghost spread further and further; for the young converts were used by the lord to carry the truth from one place to another. "such was the _beginning_ of that mighty work of the holy spirit, which has led to the conversion of hundreds of thousands; for some of my readers will remember how in this fire was kindled in england, wales and scotland; how it spread through ireland, england, wales and scotland; how the continent of europe was more or less partaking of this mighty working of the holy spirit; how it led thousands to give themselves to the work of evangelists; and how up to the year not only the effects of this work, first begun in ireland, are felt, but that still more or less this blessed work is going on in europe generally. it is almost needless to add, that in no degree the honour is due to the instruments, but to the holy spirit alone; yet these facts are stated, in order that it may be seen, what delight god has in answering abundantly the believing prayer of his children." mr. mÜller's marriage. in vol. of the narrative, mr. müller shows the ordering of god in his meeting with and subsequent marriage to his first wife, miss mary groves. "in giving her to me, i own the hand of god; nay, his hand was most marked; and my soul says, 'thou art good, and doest good.' "i refer to a few particulars for the instruction of others. when at the end of the year , i left london to labour in devonshire in the gospel, a brother in the lord gave to me a card, containing the address of a well-known christian lady, miss paget, who then resided in exeter, in order that i should call on her, as she was an excellent christian. i took this address and put it into my pocket, but thought little of calling on her. three weeks i carried this card in my pocket, without making an effort to see this lady; but at last i was led to do so. this was god's way of giving me my excellent wife. miss paget asked me to preach the last tuesday in the month of january, , at the room which she had fitted up at poltimore, a village near exeter, and where mr. a. n. groves, afterwards my brother-in-law, had preached once a month, before he went out as a missionary to bagdad. i accepted readily the invitation, as i longed, everywhere to set forth the precious truth of the lord's return, and other deeply important truths, which not long before my own soul had been filled with. "on leaving miss paget, she gave me the address of a christian brother, mr. hake, who had an infant boarding school for young ladies and gentlemen, at northernhay house, the former residence of mr. a. n. groves, in order that i might stay there on my arrival in exeter from teignmouth. to this place i went at the appointed time. miss groves, afterwards my beloved wife, was there; for mrs. hake had been a great invalid for a long time, and miss groves helped mr. hake in his great affliction, by superintending his household matters. my first visit led to my going again to preach at poltimore, after the lapse of a month, and i stayed again at mr. hake's house; and this second visit led to my preaching once a week in a chapel at exeter; and thus i went, week after week, from teignmouth to exeter, each time staying in the house of mr. hake. all this time my purpose had been, not to marry at all, but to remain free for travelling about in the service of the gospel; but after some months i saw, for many reasons, that it was better for me, as a young pastor, under years of age, to be married. the question now was, to whom shall i be united? miss groves was before my mind; but the prayerful conflict was long, before i came to a decision; for i could not bear the thought, that i should take away from mr. hake this valued helper, as mrs. hake continued still unable to take the responsibility of so large a household. but i prayed again and again. at last this decided me, i had reason to believe that i had begotten an affection in the heart of miss groves for me, and that therefore i ought to make a proposal of marriage to her, however unkindly i might appear to act to my dear friend and brother mr. hake, and to ask god to give him a suitable helper to succeed miss groves. on aug. th, , i therefore wrote to her, proposing to her to become my wife, and on aug. th, when i went over as usual to exeter for preaching, she accepted me. the first thing we did, after i was accepted, was, to fall on our knees, and to ask the blessing of the lord on our intended union. in about two or three weeks the lord, in answer to prayer, found an individual, who seemed suitable to act as housekeeper, whilst mrs. hake continued ill; and on oct. , , we were united in marriage. our marriage was of the most simple character. we walked to church, had no wedding breakfast, but in the afternoon had a meeting of christian friends in mr. hake's house and commemorated the lord's death; and then i drove off in the stagecoach with my beloved bride to teignmouth, and the next day we went to work for the lord. simple as our beginning was, and unlike the habits of the world, for christ's sake, so our godly aim has been, to continue ever since. now see the hand of god in giving me my dearest wife:-- st, that address of miss paget's was given to me under the ordering of god. nd, i must at last be made to call on her, though i had long delayed it. rd, she might have provided a resting-place with some other christian friend, where i should not have seen miss groves. th, my mind might have at last, after all, decided, not to make a proposal to her; but god settled the matter thus in speaking to me through my conscience--you know that you have begotten affection in the heart of this christian sister, by the way you have acted towards her, and therefore, painful though it may be, to appear to act unkindly towards your friend and brother, you ought to make her a proposal. i obeyed. i wrote the letter in which i made the proposal, and nothing but one even stream of blessing has been the result. "let me here add a word of christian counsel. to enter upon the marriage union is one of the most deeply important events of life. it cannot be too prayerfully treated. our happiness, our usefulness, our living for god or for ourselves afterwards, are often most intimately connected with our choice. therefore, in the most prayerful manner, this choice should be made. neither beauty, nor age, nor money, nor mental powers, should be that which prompt the decision; but st, much waiting upon god for guidance should be used; nd, a hearty purpose, to be willing to be guided by him should be aimed after; rd, true godliness without a shadow of doubt, should be the first and absolutely needful qualification, to a christian, with regard to a companion for life. in addition to this, however, it ought to be, at the same time, calmly and patiently weighed, whether, in other respects, there is a suitableness. for instance, for an educated man to choose an entirely uneducated woman, is unwise; for however much on his part love might be willing to cover the defect, it will work very unhappily with regard to the children." dangerous illness of mr. mÜller's daughter. "in july, , it pleased the lord to try my faith in a way in which before it had not been tried. my beloved daughter and only child, and a believer since the commencement of the year , was taken ill on june th. "this illness, at first a low fever, turned to typhus. on july rd there seemed no hope of her recovery. now was the trial of faith. but faith triumphed. my beloved wife and i were enabled to give her up into the hands of the lord. he sustained us both exceedingly. but i will only speak about myself. though my only and beloved child was brought near the grave, yet was my soul in perfect peace, satisfied with the will of my heavenly father, being assured that he would only do that for her and her parents, which in the end would be the best. she continued very ill till about july th, when restoration began. "on aug. th she was so far restored that she could be removed to clevedon for change of air, though exceedingly weak. it was then days since she was first taken ill. * * * * * * "parents know what an only child, a beloved child is, and what to believing parents an only child, a believing child must be. well, the father in heaven said, as it were, by this his dispensation, 'art thou willing to give up this child to me?' my heart responded, as it seems good to thee, my heavenly father. thy will be done. but as our hearts were made willing to give back our beloved child to him who had given her to us, so he was ready to leave her to us, and she lived. 'delight thyself also in the lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.' psalm xxxvii. . the desires of my heart were, to retain the beloved daughter if it were the will of god; the means to retain her were to be satisfied with the will of the lord. "of all the trials of faith that as yet i have had to pass through, this was the greatest; and by god's abundant mercy, i own it to his praise, i was enabled to delight myself in the will of god; for i felt perfectly sure, that, if the lord took this beloved daughter, it would be best for her parents, best for herself, and more for the glory of god than if she lived: this better part i was satisfied with; and thus my heart had peace, perfect peace, and i had not a moment's anxiety. thus would it be under all circumstances, however painful, were the believer exercising faith." the daily bread. "aug. , . saturday. with the s. we began the day. my soul said: 'i will now look out for the way in which the lord will deliver us this day again; for he will surely deliver. many saturdays, when we were in need, he helped us, and so he will do this day also.' between nine and ten o'clock this morning i gave myself to prayer for means, with three of my fellow-labourers, in my house. whilst we were in prayer, there was a knock at my room-door, and i was informed that a gentleman had come to see me. when we had finished prayer, it was found to be a brother from tetbury, who had brought from barnstaple £ s. d. for the orphans. thus we have £ s. d., with which i must return the letter-bag to the orphan-houses, looking to the lord for more. "aug. .--without _one single penny_ in my hands the day began. the post brought nothing, nor had i yet received anything, when ten minutes after ten this morning the letter-bag was brought from the orphan-houses, for the supplies of to-day.--now see the lord's deliverance! in the bag i found a note from one of the labourers in the orphan-houses, enclosing two sovereigns, which she sent for the orphans, stating that it was part of a present which she had just received unexpectedly, for herself.--thus we are supplied for to-day. "sept. .--only one farthing was in my hands this morning. pause a moment, dear reader! only one farthing in hand when the day commenced. think of this, and think of nearly persons to be provided for. you, poor brethren, who have six or eight children and small wages, think of this; and you, my brethren, who do not belong to the working classes, but have, as it is called, very limited means, think of this! may you not do, what we do, under your _trials_? does the lord love you less than he loves us? does he not love all his children with no less love than that, with which he loves his only begotten son, according to john xvii. - ? or are we better than you? nay, are we not in ourselves poor miserable sinners as you are; and have any of the children of god any claim upon god, on account of their own worthiness? is not that, which alone can make us worthy to receive anything from our heavenly father, the righteousness of the lord jesus, which is imputed to those who believe in him? therefore, dear reader, as we pray in our every need, of whatever character it may be, in connection with this work, to our father in heaven for help, and as he does help us, so is he willing to help all his children who put their trust in him.--well, let us hear then, how god helped when there was only one farthing left in my hands, on the morning of sept. , . "a little after nine o'clock i received a sovereign from a sister in the lord, who does not wish the name of the place, where she resides, mentioned. between ten and eleven o'clock the bag was sent from the orphan-houses, in which in a note it was stated that £ s. was required for to-day. scarcely had i read this, when a fly stopped before my house, and a gentleman, mr. ----, from the neighbourhood of manchester, was announced. i found that he was a believer, who had come on business to bristol. he had heard about the orphan-houses, and expressed his surprise, that without any regular system of collections, and without personal application to anyone, simply by faith and prayer, i obtained £ , and more yearly for the work of the lord in my hands. this brother, whom i had never seen before; and whose name i did not even know before he came, gave me £ , as an exemplification of what i had stated to him." "the poor with you always." "feb. , .--after i had sent off this morning the money which was required for the housekeeping of to-day, i had again only s. ½d. left, being only about one-fourth as much as is generally needed for one day, merely for housekeeping, so that there was now again a fresh call for trusting in the lord. in the morning i met again, as usual, with my dear wife and her sister, for prayer, to ask the lord for many blessings in connection with this work, and for means also. "about one hour after, i received a letter from devonshire, containing an order for £ of which £ was for the orphans, £ for a poor brother in bristol, and £ for myself.--besides having thus a fresh proof of the willingness of our heavenly father to answer our requests on behalf of the orphans, there is this, moreover, to be noticed. for many months past, the necessities of the poor saints among us have been particularly laid upon my heart. the word of our lord: 'ye have the poor with you always,' and 'whensoever ye will ye may do them good,' has again and again stirred me up to prayer on their behalf, and thus it was again in particular this morning. it was the coldest morning we have had the whole winter. in my morning walk for prayer and meditation i thought how well i was supplied with coals, nourishing food, and warm clothing, and how many of the dear children of god might be in need; and i lifted up my heart to god to give me more means for myself, that i might be able, by actions, to show more abundant sympathy with the poor believers in their need; and it was but three hours after when i received this £ for myself." the lord directing the steps. "feb. , .--before breakfast i took a direction in my usual morning's walk, in which i had not been for many weeks, feeling drawn in that direction, just as if god had an intention in leading me in that way. returning home i met a christian gentleman whom formerly i used to meet almost every morning, but whom i had not met for many weeks, because i had not been walking in that direction. he stopped me and gave me £ for the orphans. then i knew why i had been led thus; for there is not yet enough in hand, to supply the matrons to-morrow evening with the necessary means for house-keeping during another week. "feb. .--yesterday nothing had come in. this morning, just before i was going to give myself to prayer about the orphans, a sister in the lord sent a sovereign, which she had received, as she writes, 'from a friend who had met the orphan boys, and was particularly pleased with their neat and orderly appearance.' after having received this £ , i prayed for means for present use, though not confining my prayers to that. about a quarter of an hour after i had risen from my knees, i received a setter, with an order for £ . the donor writes, that it is 'the proceeds of a strip of land, sold to the railway company.' what various means does the lord employ to send us help, in answer to our prayers!" continued trials of faith and patience. with the enlargement of the work, by which some persons needed to be provided for, the trials of faith continued. mr. müller writes:-- "if we formerly had no certain income, so now have we none. we have to look to god for everything in connection with the work, of which often, however, the pecuniary necessities are the smallest matter; but to him we are enabled to look, and _therefore_ it is, that we are not disappointed." "oct. , .--this evening there was only £ left in hand for the current expenses for the orphans. hitherto we had generally abounded. but though much had come in, since the commencement of this new period, yet our expenses had been greater than our income, as every donation almost of which the disposal was left with me, had been put to the building fund. thus the balance in hand on may , , notwithstanding the large income since then, was reduced to about £ . i therefore gave myself particularly to prayer for means, that this small sum might be increased. "oct. .--this morning luke vii came in the course of my reading before breakfast. while reading the account about the centurion and the raising from death the widow's son at nain, i lifted up my heart to the lord jesus thus: 'lord jesus, thou hast the same power now. thou canst provide me with means for thy work in my hands. be pleased to do so.' about half an hour afterwards i received £ s. "the joy which such answers to prayer afford, cannot be described. i was determined to wait upon god only, and not to work an unscriptural deliverance for myself. i have thousands of pounds for the building fund; but i would not take of this sum because it was once set apart for that object. there is also a legacy of £ for the orphans two months overdue, in the prospect of the payment of which the heart might be naturally inclined to use some money of the building fund, to be replaced by the legacy money, when it comes in; but i would not thus step out of god's way of obtaining help. at the very time when this donation arrived, i had packed up £ which i happened to have in hand; received for the building fund, in order to take it to the bank, as i was determined not to touch it, but to wait upon god. my soul does magnify the lord for his goodness. "june , .--we were now very poor. not indeed in debt, nor was even all the money gone; for there was still about £ in hand; but then there was needed to be bought flour, of which we buy generally sacks at a time, stones of oatmeal, cwt. of soap, and there were many little repairs going on in the house, with a number of workmen, besides the regular current expenses of about £ per week. over and above all this, on saturday, the day before yesterday, i found that the heating apparatus needed to be repaired, which would cost in all probability £ . it was therefore desirable, humanly speaking, to have £ for these heavy extra expenses, besides means for the current expenses. "but i had no human prospect whatever of getting even pence, much less £ . in addition to this, to-day was monday, when generally the income is little. but, in walking to the orphan-house this morning, and praying as i went, i particularly told the lord in prayer, that on this day, though monday, he could send me much. and thus it was. i received this morning £ for the lord's service, as might be most needed.--the joy which i had cannot be described. i walked up and down in my room for a long time, tears of joy and gratitude to the lord raining plentifully over my cheeks, praising and magnifying the lord for his goodness, and surrendering myself afresh, with all my heart, to him for his blessed service. i scarcely ever felt more the kindness of the lord in helping me. "nov. .--our need of means is now great, very great. the lord tries our faith and patience. this afternoon, a brother and sister in the lord, from gloucestershire, called to see me at the new orphan-house, before going through the house. after a few minutes i received from the sister a sovereign, which she had been requested to bring to me for the building fund; and she gave me from herself £ for my own personal expenses, and £ for the building fund, and her husband gave me £ for the orphans, and £ for foreign missions. "thus the lord has refreshed my spirit greatly; but i look for more, and need much more. "nov. .--this evening, while praying for means, came a little parcel, containing ten sovereigns, from a christian lady, living not far from the new orphan-house. this was a very great refreshment to my spirit. "oct. , .--this morning at family prayer, came, in the course of reading, exodus v, which shows that, just before the deliverance of the israelites out of egypt, their trials were greater than ever. they had not only to make the same number of bricks as before, but also to gather stubble, as no straw was given them any longer. this led me, in expounding the portion, to observe that even now the children of god are often in greater trial than ever, just before help and deliverance comes. immediately after family prayer it was found, that by the morning's post not one penny had come in for the work of the lord in which i am engaged, though we needed much, and though but very little had come in during the three previous days. thus i had now to remember exodus v, and to practice the truths contained therein. in the course of the day nothing was received. in the evening i had, as usual, a season for prayer with my dear wife, respecting the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution, and then we left the new orphan-house for our home. "when we arrived at our house, about nine o'clock, we found that £ and also s. had been sent from norwich in two post office orders for the building fund, and that £ s. d. had been sent in for bibles, tracts, and reports, which had been sold. this called for thanksgiving. but a little later, between nine and ten o'clock, a christian gentleman called and gave me £ for the orphans and £ for foreign missions. he had received these sums from an aged christian woman, whose savings as a servant, during her whole life, made up the £ , and who, having recently had left to her a little annual income of about £ , felt herself constrained, by the love of christ, to send the savings of her whole life for foreign missions. * * * "our especial prayer had been again and again, that the lord would be pleased to send in means for missionary brethren, as i had reason to believe they were in much need of help; and only at eight o'clock this evening i had particularly besought the lord to send help for this object. by the last mail i had sent off £ to british guiana, to help seven brethren there in some measure. this amount took the last pound in hand for this object. how gladly would i have sent assistance to other brethren also, but i had no more. now i am in some degree supplied for this object. "july , .--our means were now again reduced to about £ , as only about £ had come in since june . in addition to this, we had very heavy expenses before us. this morning, in reading through the book of proverbs, when i came to chapter xxii. --'that thy trust may be in the lord, &c.,' i said in prayer to him: 'lord, i do trust in thee; but wilt thou now be pleased to help me; for i am in need of means for the current expenses of all the various objects of the institution.' by the first delivery of letters i received an order on a london bank for £ , to be used for all the various objects 'as the present need might require.'" are you prepared for eternity? "in looking over my account books, i meet again and again with the name of one and another who has finished his course. soon, dear reader, your turn and mine may come. are you prepared for eternity? affectionately i press this question upon you. do not put it away. nothing is of greater moment than this point; yea, all other things, however important in their place, are of exceedingly small importance, in comparison with this matter. do you ask, how you may be prepared for eternity, how to be saved, how to obtain the forgiveness of your sins? the answer is, believe in the lord jesus, trust in him, depend upon him alone as it regards the salvation of your soul. he was punished by god, in order that we guilty sinners, if we believe in him, might not be punished. he fulfilled the law of god, and was obedient even unto death, in order that we disobedient, guilty sinners, if we believe in him, might, on his account, be reckoned righteous by god. ponder these things, dear reader, should you have never done so before. through faith in the lord jesus alone can we obtain forgiveness of our sins, and be at peace with god; but, believing in jesus, we become, through this very faith, the children of god; have god as our father, and may come to him for all the temporal and spiritual blessings which we need. thus everyone of my readers may obtain answers to prayers, not only to the same extent that we obtain them, but far more abundantly. "it may be that few, comparatively, of the children of god are called to serve the lord in the way of establishing orphan-houses, &c.; but all of them may, yea, are called upon to trust in god, to rely upon him, in their various positions and circumstances, and apply the word of god, faith, and prayer to their family circumstances, their earthly occupation, their afflictions and necessities of every kind, both temporally and spiritually; just as we, by god's help, in some little measure seek to apply the word of god, faith and prayer to the various objects of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. make but trial of it, if you have never done so before, and you will see how happy a life it is. * * * * "truly i prefer by far this life of almost constant trial, if i am only able to roll all my cares upon my heavenly father, and thus become increasingly acquainted with him, to a life of outward peace and quietness, without these constant proofs of his faithfulness, his wisdom, his love, his power, his over-ruling providence, &c." waiting only upon god. "sept , .--received from clerkenwell £ to be used one-half for missions, and the other half as i thought best. i took the one-half for the support of the orphans, and find the following remark in my journal respecting this donation: 'what a precious answer to prayer!' since aug. th we have been day by day coming to the lord for our daily supplies. precious, also, on account of missionary brethren, whom i seek to help, for whom there was nothing in hand when this donation was received." mr. müller adds a few remarks to this part of the narrative:-- " . should anyone suppose, on account of its having been stated in the previous pages that we were repeatedly brought low as to means, that the orphans have not had all that was needful for them; we reply that _never_, since the work has been in existence, has there a meal-time come, but the orphans have had good nourishing food in sufficient quantity: and never have they needed clothes, but i have had the means to provide them with all they required. " . never since the orphan work has been in existence have i asked one single human being for any help for this work; and yet, unasked for, simply in answer to prayer, from so many parts of the world, as has been stated, the donations have come in, and that very frequently at a time of the greatest need." mr. müller writes under date, :-- "every wednesday evening i meet with my helpers for united prayer; and day by day i have stated seasons, when i seek to bring the work with its great variety of spiritual and temporal necessities, before the lord in prayer, having perhaps each day or more matters to bring before him, and thus i obtain the blessing. i ask no human being for help concerning the work. nay, if i could obtain £ , through each application for help; by god's grace, i would not ask. and why not? because i have dedicated my whole life cheerfully to the precious service of giving to the world and to the church, a clear, distinct, and undeniable demonstration, that it is a blessed thing to trust in, and to wait upon, god; that he is now, as he ever was, the living god, the same as revealed in the holy scriptures, and that if we know and are reconciled to him through faith in the lord jesus, and ask him in his name for that which is according to his mind, he will surely give it to us, in his own time, provided that we believe that he will. * * * * * "nor has god failed me at any time. forty years have i proved his faithfulness, in this work." in the lord jehovah is everlasting strength. under date nov. , , mr. müller wrote:-- "nov. . saturday evening. when this week commenced, i received only £ s. by the first delivery. shortly after there came in the course of my reading, through the holy scriptures, isaiah xxvi, , 'trust ye in the lord for ever; for in the lord jehovah is everlasting strength.'--i laid aside my bible, fell on my knees, and prayed thus: i believe that there is everlasting strength in the lord jehovah, and i do trust in him; help me, o lord, for ever to trust in thee. be pleased to give me more means this day, and much this week, though only so little now has come in.--that same day, nov. rd, i received £ from surbiton, £ from a donor residing in clifton, £ from a bristol donor, and in the course of the week altogether £ came in; thus jehovah again proved, that in him is everlasting strength, and that he is worthy to be trusted.--dear believing reader, seek but in the same way to trust in the lord, if you are not in the habit of doing so already, and you will find as i have found thousands of times, how blessed it is. but if the reader should be yet going on in carelessness about his soul, and therefore be without the knowledge of god and his dear son, then the first, and most important thing, such a one has to do, is to trust in the lord jesus for the salvation of his soul, that he may be reconciled to god, and obtain the forgiveness of his sins." jesus christ, the same yesterday, and to-day, and forever. "may , .--at the close of the period i find, that the total expenditure for all the various objects was £ , s. d., or £ s. ¾d. per day, all the year round. during the coming year i expect the expenses to be considerably greater. but god, who has helped me these many years, will, i believe, help me in future also. "you see, esteemed reader, how the lord, in his faithful love helped us year after year. with every year the expenses increased, because the operations of the institutions were further enlarged; but he never failed us. you may say, however, 'what would you do, if he should fail in helping you?' my reply is, that cannot be, as long as we trust in him and do not live in sin. but if we were to forsake him, the fountain of living waters, and to hew out to ourselves broken cisterns, which cannot hold water, by trusting in an arm of flesh; or if we were to live in sin, we should then have to call upon him in vain, even though we professed still to trust in him, according to that word: 'if i regard iniquity in my heart, the lord will not hear me.' psalm lxvi, . "hitherto, by god's grace, i have been enabled to continue to trust in him alone; and hitherto, though failing and weak in many ways, yet, by god's grace, i have been enabled to walk uprightly, hating sin and loving holiness, and longing after increased conformity to the lord jesus. "oct. --as the days come, we make known our requests to him, for our outgoings have now been for several years at the rate of more than one hundred pounds each day; but though the expenses have been so great, he has never failed us. we have indeed, as to the outward appearance, like the 'burning bush in the wilderness;' yet we have not been consumed. moreover, we are full of trust in the lord, and therefore of good courage, though we have before us the prospect, that, year by year, our expenses will increase more and more. did all my beloved fellow disciples, who seek to work for god know the blessedness of looking truly to god alone, and trusting in him alone, they would soon see how soul refreshing this way is, and how entirely beyond disappointment, so far as he is concerned. earthly friends may alter their minds regarding the work in which we are engaged; but if indeed we work for god, whoever may alter his mind regarding our service, he will not. earthly friends may lose their ability to help us, however much they desire so to do; but he remains throughout eternity the infinitely rich one. earthly friends may have their minds after a time diverted to other objects, and, as they cannot help everywhere, much as they may desire it, they may, though reluctantly, have to discontinue to help us; but he is able, in all directions, though the requirements were multiplied a million times, to supply all that can possibly be needed, and does it with delight, where his work is carried on, and where he is confided in. earthly friends may be removed by death, and thus we may lose their help, but he lives for ever, he cannot die. in this latter point of view, i have especially, during the past years, in connection with this institution, seen the blessedness of trusting in the living god alone. not one nor two, nor even five nor ten, but many more, who once helped me much with their means, have been removed by death; but have the operations of the institution been stopped on that account? no. and how came this? because i trusted in god, and in god alone." thoroughly in heart prepared for trials of faith. under date july , , mr. müller wrote:-- "it has for months appeared to me, as if the lord meant, by his dealings with us, to bring us back to that state of things, in which we were for more than ten years, from august, , to april, , when we had day by day, almost without interruption, to look to him for our daily supplies, and, for a great part of the time, from meal to meal. the difficulties appeared to me indeed very great, as the institution is now twenty times larger, than it was then, and our purchases are to be made in a wholesale way; but, at the same time, i am comforted by the knowledge, that god is aware of all this; and that, if this way be for the glory of his name, and for the good of his church and the unconverted world, i am, by his grace, willing to go this way, and to do it to the end of my course. the funds were thus fast expended; but god, our infinitely rich treasurer, remains to us. it is this which gives me peace. moreover, if it pleases him, with a work requiring about £ , a year, to make me do again at the evening of my life, what i did from august, , to april, , i am not only prepared for it, but gladly again i would pass through all these trials of faith, with regard to means, if he only might be glorified, and his church and the world be benefited. often and often this last point has of late passed through my mind, and i have placed myself in the position of having no means at all left, and two thousand and one hundred persons not only daily at the table, but with everything else to be provided for, and all funds gone; missionaries to be assisted, and nothing whatever left; about one hundred schools, with about nine thousand scholars in them, to be entirely supported, and no means for them in hand; about four millions of tracts and tens of thousands of copies of the holy scriptures yearly now to be sent out, and all the money expended. invariably, however, with this probability before me, i have said to myself: 'god, who has raised up this work through me, god who has led me generally year after year to enlarge it, god who has supported this work now for more than forty years, will still help, and will not suffer me to be confounded, because i rely upon him, i commit the whole work to him, and he will provide me with what i need, in future also, though i know not, whence the means are to come.' "thus i wrote in my journal on july , . the reader will now feel interested in learning how we fared under these circumstances. "when i came home, last evening (july ), i found letters had arrived, which contained £ , among which there was one from a missionary in foreign lands, helped by the funds of this institution, who, having come into the possession of some money, by the death of a relative, sent £ s. d. for foreign missions. this morning, july , came in £ more, so that, when i met this afternoon with several of my helpers for prayer for means and various other matters, such as spiritual blessing upon the various objects of the institution, for more rain in this very dry season, the health of our fellow-labourers, etc., we had received, since yesterday afternoon, altogether £ . we thanked god for it, and asked for more. when the meeting for prayer was over, there was handed to me a letter from scotland, containing £ s. d., and a paper with s. this was the immediate answer to prayer for more means. "aug. .--the income for this whole week, since aug. , has been £ s. ½d. "sept. .--just after having again prayed for the payment of legacies, which have been left, i had a legacy receipt sent for the payment of a legacy for £ , . "sept. .--income to-day £ , s. d., of which there was sent in one donation £ , s. d. the lord be praised!" strong in faith, giving glory to god. on march , , mr. müller found that no money remained in hand for the school, bible, missionary and tract funds. nearly £ , had been spent for these objects during the previous month. he writes:-- "what was now to be done, dear reader, under these circumstances, when all the money for the above objects was again gone? i reply, we did what we have done for years, that is, we waited continually upon god. my dear fellow-labourers in bristol, and my dear wife and myself in america, brought our necessities again and again before the lord. "here in the united states, besides our habitual daily prayer for help, we had especial seasons , , and times a day additionally, for pouring out our hearts before our heavenly father, and making known our requests unto him, being assured that help would come: and we have not waited upon the lord in vain. this plan may be despised by some, ridiculed by others, and considered insufficient by a third class of persons; but, under every trial and difficulty, we find prayer and faith to be our universal remedy; and, after having experienced for half a century their efficacy, we purpose, by god's help, to _continue_ waiting upon him, in order to show to an ungodly world, and to a doubting church, that the living god is still able and willing to answer prayer, and that it is the joy of his heart to listen to the supplications of his children. in psalm ix. , the divine testimony regarding jehovah is, 'they that know thy name will put their trust in thee.' we know him, by his grace, and do therefore put our trust in him. "april .--on march th we had no means at all in hand for these objects, as stated under that date. we have now been helped through one more month, in answer to prayer, and have been supplied with all we needed, though that amounted to nearly £ , and have £ s. ¼d. left. "april .--a servant of the lord jesus, who, constrained by the love of christ, seeks to lay up treasure in heaven, having received a legacy of £ s. d., gave £ of it for these objects. "july , .--the income has been for some time past only about the third part of the expenses. consequently, all we have for the support of the orphans is nearly gone; and for the first four objects of the institution we have nothing at all in hand. the natural appearance now is, that the work cannot be carried on. but i believe that the lord will help, both with means for the orphans and also for the other objects of the institution, and that we shall not be confounded; also, that the work shall not need to be given up. i am fully expecting help, and have written this to the glory of god, that it may be recorded hereafter for the encouragement of his children. the result will be seen. "the foregoing was written at a. m. july , . as yet we have the means to meet our expenses, and i expect that we shall not be confounded, though for seven years we have not been so poor." the result has indeed been seen, and will be seen. for more than years since those words were written and mr. müller had thus recorded his confidence in the lord's help, god has sustained the work, and in may, , there was a balance in hand of some thousands of pounds, notwithstanding that more than £ , had been received and expended since this entry was made in mr. müller's journal on july , . during these years faith and patience were at times greatly tried: "aug. , .--the balance for the orphans is now reduced to £ s. d., lower than it has been for more than twenty-five years. this sum we have in hand to meet the daily expenses in connection with , persons. it is only enough for the average outgoings of ½ days. but our eyes are upon the lord. i look to my heavenly provider. the total income of to-day has been £ s. ½d. "aug. .--part of a legacy, left years ago, £ , , was paid, as the answer to many prayers. "feb. , .--the balance in hand to-day for the orphans is £ s. ½d., viz., £ more than the average expenses of one single day. "march .--our position now regarding the orphan work is, praying day by day 'give us _this day_ our _daily_ bread'. for a considerable time we have had day by day to look to the lord for the supply of our _daily_ wants; but god has helped us thus far. "april , .--when in the greatest need we received from edinburgh £ with this statement: 'the enclosed was intended as a legacy, but i have sent it in my lifetime.' "june .--from wottan-under-edge £ . a glorious deliverance was this donation, and a precious earnest of what god would do further for us. "oct. .--received from wottan-under-edge £ , . * * * * * god, in answer to our prayers, spoke to his dear child, and inclined his heart to send to us more than ever. thus he also gives proof, that during the previous year, when we were so low as to funds, it was only for the trial of our faith and patience, and not in anger; nor did he thereby mean to indicate, that he would not help us any more. for my own part, i _expected_ further great help from god, and i have not been confounded. "aug. , .--our balance was reduced this afternoon to £ s. d. think of this, dear reader! day by day about , persons are to be provided for in the orphan institution, and £ s. d. was all that was in hand to do this. you see that we are just in the same position in which we were years since as to funds. god is our banker. in him we trust, and on him we draw by faith. this was saturday. in the evening £ was received. on monday we received £ further, but had to pay out £ . on tuesday we received £ , but had to pay out £ . * * * * * "god is pleased continually to vary his mode of dealing with us, in order that we may not be tempted to trust in donors, or in circumstances, but in him alone, and to keep our eye fixed upon him. this, by his grace, we are enabled to do, and our hearts are kept in peace." some ten months later, when the balance in hand was only £ s., a very little more than one-half of the average expenses for the orphans for one day, and there were sanitary operations advisable to be carried out, the expenses of which would amount to upwards of £ , , mr. müller received a legacy of £ , s. "june , .--this is the largest donation i have _ever_ received at _one time_. this legacy had been above six years in chancery, and year after year its payment was expected, but remained unsettled by the chancery court. i kept on praying, however, and for six years prayed day by day that the money might be paid, believing that god in his own time (_which is always the best_), would help at last; for _many_ legacies in chancery i had prayed out of the court, and the money was eventually paid. in the present case, too, after faith and patience had been sufficiently exercised, god granted this request likewise." .--in the fifty-fourth report of the scriptural knowledge institution mr. müller says:-- "the readers of the last report will remember, under what particular trials we entered upon the last financial year of the institution, from may th, , to may th, ; but we trusted in _god_; with unshaken confidence we looked to _him_, and we _expected_ that we should somehow or other be helped. * * while thus we went on, my heart was at peace habitually, being assured that all this was permitted by god, to prepare a blessing for thousands, who would afterwards read the record of his dealings with us, during the year from may th, , to may th, . with reference to our dear fellow-labourers, mr. wright and i have seen already, while passing through the trial, how god has blessed it to them. "aug. , .--this evening, whilst reading in the psalms, i came to psalm lxxxi, , and remembered the work of the holy spirit in my heart, when reading this verse on dec. , , and the effect which this had, not only on leading me to found the greatest orphan institution in the world, but i thought also of the blessing which has thus been brought to tens of thousands of believers and unbelievers all over the world. putting aside the bible, therefore, i fell on my knees and asked god that he would graciously be pleased to repeat his former kindness, and to supply me again more abundantly with means. accordingly in less than half an hour, i received £ from a bristol donor and from redland a large quantity of fish, in addition to £ already received to-day as the result of much prayer. by the last delivery, at p. m., i received £ more also, and had thus £ in all, this day, as the result of prayer. "nov. .--there came in to-day, by the first two deliveries, only about £ , but the lord increased the income to more than £ this day. i am never discouraged by very little only coming in, but say to myself, and also to my dear helpers, 'more prayer, more patience, and more exercise of faith will bring greater blessing'; for thus i have invariably found it, since october, , now years ago, when i first began this life of entire dependence upon god for everything. "march , .--the income during this week, ending to-day, was £ s. ¾d. for the orphans, and £ s. d. for the other objects, being about the sixth part of our weekly expenses; but now the great trial of our faith was nearly brought to a close, as will presently be seen. "march .--_this very day_ god begins to answer our prayers, as we have received a very good offer for the land we have to sell, even £ , per acre. the beginning of the day was darker as to outward appearances than ever: but we trusted in god for help. the first three deliveries of letters brought us only £ , and the remaining three brought us so little that the whole day's income was only £ instead of £ , the amount we require every day to meet all our expenses. but god has now helped us. we have been able this evening to sell ten acres of land and two-fifths of an acre at £ , per acre, and shall receive £ , altogether for the whole of one field. the contract was signed at o'clock this evening." mr. mÜller's departure to be with christ. on the evening of wednesday, march th, , mr. müller took part in the usual meeting for prayer held in the orphan-house no. ; retired at his usual hour to rest, and early on the following morning (the th of march) alone, in his bed-room, breathed his last, realizing what had long been with him a most joyous anticipation, viz., that "to depart and to be with christ is far better." march .--this day mr. müller's earthly remains were laid in the grave of his first and second wives, at arno' vale cemetery. the attendant circumstances, throughout, were very remarkable and interesting to the christian mind chiefly as illustrating god's eternal principle--"them that honour me i will honour." the man who in life sought not his own glory, became in death the one to whom all classes delighted to show respect and honour. from the masses of sympathizing spectators that lined the streets, from the tearful eyes, and the audible prayerful ejaculations that escaped the lips of bystanders (many of them the poorest of the poor), as the orphans filed past, following the hearse; from the suspension of all traffic in the principal streets, the tolling of muffled bells, and the half-masted flags, and from the dense crowds in the cemetery that awaited the arrival of the funeral company, it seemed as if the whole city had spontaneously resolved to do honour to the man who had not lived for himself, but for the glory of god and the good of his fellows. for some months before mr. müller's death the trials of faith and patience were great. mr. james wright, mr. müller's successor, writes: "he who is pleased, sometimes, to teach his servants 'how to _abound_,' sees it _best_ for them, at other times 'to be instructed how to suffer need.' for many of the years during which this work has been carried on, the former was our experience; we abounded and richly abounded, latterly, and especially during the last or years it has been the very reverse. _pressing need_ has been the _rule_; a balance in hand, over and above our need, the rare exception. yet we have never been forsaken." "sept. , .--residue of the legacy of the late g. j., esq., £ , s. d. this sum was received when we were in the _deepest need_; and after it had pleased the lord to allow a very protracted trial of faith and patience; but see, beloved reader, he did not disappoint nor forsake us, as he _never_ does those who really trust in him. the _joy_ of _such_ a deliverance cannot be tasted without the experience of the previous _trial_. "feb. , .--the following entry, under this date, is in mr. müller's own hand-writing: "the income to-day, by the two first deliveries, was £ s. d. day by day our great trial of faith and patience continues, and thus it has been, more or less, now, for months, yet, by thy grace, we are sustained." march , .--the following, again, is from a memorandum in mr. müller's own hand-writing, under this date: "for about months with scarcely the least intermission the trial of our faith and patience has continued. now, to-day, the lord has refreshed our hearts. this afternoon came in, for the lord's work, £ , s. d. as part payment of a legacy of the late mrs. e. c. s. for years and months this money had been in the irish chancery court. hundreds of petitions had been brought before the lord regarding it, and now at last, this portion of the total legacy has been received." thus the lord, in love and faithfulness, greatly refreshed the heart of his servant, only nine days before taking him home to be with himself. appendix a five conditions of prevailing prayer entire dependence upon the merits and mediation of the lord jesus christ, as the only ground of any claim for blessing. (see john xiv. , ; xv. , etc.) .--separation from all known sin. if we regard iniquity in our hearts, the lord will not hear us, for it would be sanctioning sin. (psalm lxvi. .) .--faith in god's word of promise as confirmed by his oath. not to believe him is to make him both a liar and a perjurer. (hebrews xi. ; vi. - .) .--asking in accordance with his will. our motives must be godly: we must not seek any gift of god to consume it upon our lusts. ( john v. ; james iv. .) .--importunity in supplication. there must be waiting on god and waiting for god, as the husbandman has long patience to wait for the harvest. (james v. ; luke xviii. - .) appendix b the careful and consecutive reading of the holy scriptures concerning this subject mr. müller says: "i fell into the snare, into which so many young believers fall, the reading of religious books in preference to the scriptures. i could no longer read french and german novels, as i had formerly done, to feed my carnal mind; but still i did not put into the room of those books the best of all books. i read tracts, missionary papers, sermons, and biographies of godly persons. the last kind of books i found more profitable than others, and had they been well selected, or had i not read too much of such writings, or had any of them tended particularly to endear the scriptures to me, they might have done me much good.--i never had been at any time in my life in the habit of reading the holy scriptures. when under fifteen years of age, i occasionally read a little of them at school; afterwards god's precious book was entirely laid aside, so that i never read one single chapter of it, as far as i remember, till it pleased god to begin a work of grace in my heart. now the scriptural way of reasoning would have been: god himself has condescended to become an author, and i am ignorant about that precious book, which his holy spirit has caused to be written through the instrumentality of his servants, and it contains that which i ought to know, and the knowledge of which will lead me to true happiness; therefore i ought to read again and again this most precious book, this book of books, most earnestly, most prayerfully, and with much meditation; and in this practice i ought to continue all the days of my life. for i was aware, though i read it but little, that i knew scarcely anything of it. but instead of acting thus, and being led by my ignorance of the word of god to study it more, my difficulty in understanding it, and the little enjoyment i had in it, made me careless of reading it (for much prayerful reading of the word, gives not merely more knowledge, but increases the delight we have in reading it); and thus, like many believers, i practically preferred, for the first four years of my divine life, the works of uninspired men to the oracles of the living god. the consequence was, that i remained a babe, both in knowledge and grace. in knowledge i say; for all _true_ knowledge must be derived, by the spirit, from the word. and as i neglected the word, i was for nearly four years so ignorant, that i did not _clearly_ know even the _fundamental_ points of our holy faith. and this lack of knowledge most sadly kept me back from walking steadily in the ways of god. for it is the truth that makes us free, (john viii. , ,) by delivering us from the slavery of the lusts of the flesh, the lusts of the eyes, and the pride of life. the word proves it. the experience of the saints proves it; and also my own experience most decidedly proves it. for when it pleased the lord in aug. , to bring me really to the scriptures, my life and walk became very different. and though even since that i have very much fallen short of what i might and ought to be, yet, by the grace of god, i have been enabled to live much nearer to him than before. "if any believers read this, who practically prefer other books to the holy scriptures, and who enjoy the writings of men much more than the word of god, may they be warned by my loss. i shall consider this book to have been the means of doing much good, should it please the lord, through its instrumentality, to lead some of his people no longer to neglect the holy scriptures, but to give them that preference, which they have hitherto bestowed on the writings of men. my dislike to increase the number of books would have been sufficient to deter me from writing these pages, had i not been convinced, that this is the only way in which the brethren at large may be benefited through my mistakes and errors, and been influenced by the hope, that in answer to my prayers, the reading of my experience may be the means of leading them to value the scriptures more highly, and to make them the rule of all their actions. * * * "if anyone should ask me, how he may read the scriptures most profitably, i would advise him, that: "i.--above all he should seek to have it settled in his own mind, that god alone, by his spirit, can teach him, and that therefore, as god will be enquired of for blessings, it becomes him to seek god's blessing previous to reading, and also whilst reading. "ii.--he should have it, moreover, settled in his mind, that, although the holy spirit is the _best_ and _sufficient_ teacher, yet that this teacher does not always teach immediately when we desire it, and that, therefore, we may have to entreat him again and again for the explanation of certain passages; but that he will surely teach us at last, if indeed we are seeking for light prayerfully, patiently, and with a view to the glory of god. "iii.--it is of immense importance for the understanding of the word of god, to read it in course, so that we may read every day a portion of the old and a portion of the new testament, going on where we previously left off. this is important-- , because it throws light upon the connection; and a different course, according to which one _habitually_ selects particular chapters, will make it utterly impossible ever to understand much of the scriptures. , whilst we are in the body, we need a change even in spiritual things; and this change the lord has graciously provided in the great variety which is to be found in his word. , it tends to the glory of god; for the leaving out some chapters here and there, is practically saying, that certain portions are better than others: or, that there are certain parts of revealed truth unprofitable or unnecessary. , it may keep us, by the blessing of god, from erroneous views, as in reading thus regularly through the scriptures we are led to see the meaning of the whole, and also kept from laying too much stress upon certain favourite views. , the scriptures contain the whole revealed will of god, and therefore we ought to seek to read from time to time through the whole of that revealed will. there are many believers, i fear, in our day, who have not read even once through the whole of the scriptures; and yet in a few months, by reading only a few chapters every day they might accomplish it. "iv.--it is also of the greatest importance to meditate on what we read, so that perhaps a small portion of that which we have read, or, if we have time, the whole may be meditated upon in the course of the day. or a small portion of a book, or an epistle, or a gospel, through which we go regularly for meditation, may be considered every day, without, however, suffering oneself to be brought into bondage by this plan. "learned _commentaries_ i have found to store the _head_, with many notions and often also with the truth of god; but when the _spirit_ teaches, through the instrumentality of prayer and meditation, the _heart_ is affected. the former kind of knowledge generally puffs up, and is often renounced, when another commentary gives a different opinion, and often also is found good for nothing, when it is to be carried out into practice. the latter kind of knowledge generally humbles, gives joy, leads as nearer to god, and is not easily reasoned away; and having been obtained from god, and thus having entered into the heart, and become our own, is also generally carried out." appendix c proving the acceptable will of god it is very instructive and helpful to see the way in which mr. müller proved the acceptable will of the lord, when exercised in heart about the enlargement of the orphan work, so that not only but orphans might be provided for. "dec. , .--the especial burden of my prayer therefore is, that god would be pleased to teach me his will. my mind has also been especially pondering, how i could know his will satisfactorily concerning this particular. sure i am, that i shall be taught. i therefore desire patiently to wait for the lord's time, when he shall be pleased to shine on my path concerning this point. "dec. .--fifteen days have elapsed since i wrote the preceding paragraph. every day since then i have continued to pray about this matter, and that with a goodly measure of earnestness, by the help of god. there has passed scarcely an hour during these days, in which, whilst awake, this matter has not been more or less before me. but all without even a shadow of excitement. i converse with no one about it. hitherto have i not even done so with my dear wife. from this i refrain still, and deal with god alone about the matter, in order that no outward influence, and no outward excitement may keep me from attaining unto a clear discovery of his will. i have the fullest and most peaceful assurance, that he will clearly show me his will. this evening i have had again an especial solemn season for prayer, to seek to know the will of god. but whilst i continue to entreat and beseech the lord, that he would not allow me to be deluded in this business, i may say i have scarcely any doubt remaining on my mind as to what will be the issue, even that i should go forward in this matter. "as this, however, is one of the most momentous steps that i have ever taken, i judge that i cannot go about this matter with too much caution, prayerfulness, and deliberation. i am in no hurry about it. i could wait for years, by god's grace, were this his will, before even taking one single step towards this thing, or even speaking to anyone about it; and, on the other hand, i would set to work to-morrow, were the lord to bid me do so. this calmness of mind, this having no will of my own in the matter, this only wishing to please my heavenly father in it, this only seeking his and not my honour in it; this state of heart, i say, is the fullest assurance to me that my heart is not under a fleshly excitement, and that, if i am helped thus to go on, i shall know the will of god to the full. but, while i write thus, i cannot but add at the same time, that i do crave the honour and the glorious privilege to be more and more used by the lord. i have served satan much in my younger years, and i desire now with all my might to serve god, during the remaining days of my earthly pilgrimage. i am forty-five years and three months old. every day decreases the number of days that i have to stay on earth. i therefore desire with all my might to work. there are vast multitudes of orphans to be provided for. * * * "i desire that thus it may be more abundantly manifest that god is still the hearer and answerer of prayer, and that he is the living god now, as he ever was and ever will be, when he shall, simply in answer to prayer, have condescended to provide me with a house for orphans, and with means to support them. this last consideration is the most important point in my mind. the lord's honour is the principal point with me in this whole matter; and just because that is the case, if he would be more glorified by my not going forward in this business, i should, by his grace, be perfectly content to give up all thoughts about another orphan-house. surely, in such a state of mind, obtained by the holy spirit, thou, o my heavenly father, will not suffer thy child to be mistaken, much less to be deluded! by the help of god i shall continue further, day by day, to wait upon him in prayer concerning this thing, till he shall bid me act. "jan. , .--a week ago i wrote the preceding paragraph. during this week i have still been helped, day by day, and more than once every day, to seek the guidance of the lord about another orphan-house. the burden of my prayer has still been, that he, in his great mercy, would keep me from making a mistake. during the last week the book of proverbs has come, in the course of my scripture reading, and my heart has been refreshed, in reference to this subject, by the following passages: 'trust in the lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.' prov. iii. , . by the grace of god i do acknowledge the lord in my ways, and in this thing in particular; i have therefore the comfortable assurance that he will direct my paths concerning this part of my service, as to whether i shall be occupied in it or not. further: 'the integrity of the upright shall preserve them; but the perverseness of fools shall destroy them.' prov. xi. . by the grace of god i am upright in this business. my honest purpose is to get glory to god. therefore i expect to be guided aright. further: 'commit thy works unto the lord and thy thoughts shall be established.' prov. xvi. . i do commit my works unto the lord, and therefore expect that my thoughts will be established.--my heart is more and more coming to a calm, quiet, and settled assurance, that the lord will condescend to use me yet further in the orphan work. here, lord, is thy servant!" mr. müller wrote down eight reasons against and eight reasons for establishing another orphan-house for seven hundred orphans. the following is his last reason for so doing: "i am peaceful and happy, spiritually, in the prospect of enlarging the work as on former occasions when i had to do so. this weighs particularly with me as a reason for going forward. after all the calm, quiet, prayerful consideration of the subject for about eight weeks, i am peaceful and happy, spiritually, in the purpose of enlarging the field. this, after all the heart searching which i have had, and the daily prayer to be kept from delusion and mistake in this thing, and the betaking myself to the word of god, would not be the case, i judge, had not the lord purposed to condescend to use me more than ever in this service. "i, therefore, on the ground of the objections answered, and these eight reasons for enlarging the work, come to the conclusion that it is the will of the blessed god, that his poor and most unworthy servant should yet more extensively serve him in this work, which he is quite willing to do." "may .--from the time that i began to write down the exercises of my mind on dec. th, , till this day, ninety-two more orphans have been applied for, and seventy-eight were already waiting for admission before. but this number increases rapidly as the work becomes more and more known. "on the ground of what has been recorded above, i purpose to go forward in this service, and to seek to build, to the praise and honour of the living god, another orphan-house, large enough to accommodate seven hundred orphans." a narrative of some of the lord's dealings with george mÜller written by himself first part ninth edition j. nisbet & co., berners street, london. to be also had in bristol, at the bible and tract warehouse of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, no. park street, and through all booksellers. [entered at stationers' hall.] london: dryden press: j. davy and sons, , long acre. preface to the first edition of the first part. it was only after the consideration of many months, and after much self-examination as to my motives, and after much earnest prayer, that i came to the conclusion to write this little work. i have not taken one single step in the lord's service, concerning which i have prayed so much. my great dislike to increasing the number of religious books would, in itself, have been sufficient to have kept me for ever from it, had i not cherished the hope of being instrumental in this way to lead some of my brethren to value the holy scriptures more, and to judge by the standard of the word of god the principles on which they act. but that which weighed more with me than any thing was, that i have reason to believe from what i have seen among the children of god, that many of their trials arise, either from want of confidence in the lord as it regards temporal things, or from carrying on their business in an unscriptural way. on account, therefore, of the remarkable way in which the lord has dealt with me in temporal things, within the last ten years, i feel that i am a debtor to the church of christ, and that i ought, for the benefit of my poorer brethren especially, to make known, as much as i can, the way in which i have been led. in addition to this, i know it to be a fact, that to many souls the lord has blessed what i have told them about the way in which he has led me, and therefore it seemed to me a duty to use such means, whereby others also, with whom i could not possibly converse, might be benefited. that which at last, on may , , induced me finally to determine to write this narrative was, that, if the lord should permit the book to sell, i might, by the profits arising from the sale, be enabled in a greater degree to help the poor brethren and sisters among whom i labour, a matter which just at that time weighed much on my mind. i therefore at last began to write. but after three days i was obliged to lay the work again aside, on account of my other pressing engagements. on may th i was laid aside on account of an abscess and now being unable, for many weeks, to walk about as usual, though able to work at home, i had time for writing. when the manuscript was nearly completed, i gave it to a brother to look it over, that i might have his judgment; and the lord so refreshed his spirit through it, that he offered to advance the means for having it printed, with the understanding that if the book should not sell, he would never consider me his debtor. by this offer not a small obstacle was removed, as i have no means of my own to defray the expense of printing. these two last circumstances, connected with many other points, confirmed me that i had not been mistaken, when i came to the conclusion that it was the will of god, that i should serve his church in this way. the fact of my being a foreigner, and therefore but very imperfectly acquainted with the english language, i judged to be no sufficient reason for keeping me from writing. the christian reader being acquainted with this fact, will candidly excuse any inaccuracy of expression. for the poor among the brethren this narrative is especially intended, and to their prayers i commend it in particular. george mÜller. bristol, july , . extract from the preface to the second edition of the first part as to this second edition i would mention, that, while in substance it is the same as the first, yet, on account of my increased acquaintance with the english language, many verbal alterations have been made; also several alterations have been made on account of the increased light which the lord has been pleased to grant me since july, ; a few paragraphs have been entirely left out, and a few new paragraphs have been added. george mÜller. bristol, october , . extract from the preface to the third edition of the first part as the second edition of four thousand copies is exhausted, and as the lord condescends to bless this narrative more and more, both to believers and unbelievers, it has appeared to me a debt which i owe to the church of god to publish this third edition. several new paragraphs of considerable length have been introduced. george mÜller. bristol, june , . preface to the eighth edition of the first part the seventh edition of eight thousand copies is also exhausted, and the lord condescends to bless yet more and more this narrative, both to the the conversion of unbelievers, and to the edification of his own children. on this account i feel it my duty, as well as my privilege, to send forth this new edition, in which scarcely any alterations have been made. george mÜller. bristol, december, . preface to the ninth edition the reason which led me to the publication of the eighth edition of this narrative, has influenced me also to publish this ninth edition. george mÜller. bristol, march, . a narrative, &c. &c. i was born at kroppenstaedt, near halberstadt, in the kingdom of prussia, on september th, . in january my parents removed to heimersleben, about four miles from kroppenstaedt, where my father was appointed collector in the excise. as a warning to parents i mention, that my father preferred me to my brother, which was very injurious to both of us. to me, as tending to produce in my mind a feeling of self-elevation; and to my brother, by creating in him a dislike both towards my father and me. my father, who educated his children on worldly principles, gave us much money, considering our age; not in order that we might spend it, but, as he said, to accustom us to possess money without spending it. the result was, that it led me and my brother into many sins. for i repeatedly spent a part of the money in a childish way, and afterwards, when my father looked over my little treasure, i sought to deceive him in making up the accounts, either by not putting down all the money which he had given me, or by professing to have more money in hand than was the case, and counting it out accordingly before him. now, though this deceit was found out at last, and i was punished, yet i remained the same. for before i was ten years old i repeatedly took of the government money which was intrusted to my father, and which he had to make up; till one day, as he had repeatedly missed money, he detected my theft, by depositing a counted sum in the room where i was, and leaving me to myself for a while. being thus left alone, i took some of the money, and hid it under my foot in my shoe. when my father, after his return, had counted and missed the money, i was searched and my theft detected. though i was punished on this and other occasions, yet i do not remember that at any time, when my sins were found out, it made any other impression upon me than to make me think how i might do the thing the next time more cleverly, so as not to be detected. hence it came, that this was not the last time that i was guilty of stealing. when i was between ten and eleven years of age, i was sent to halberstadt, to the cathedral classical school, there to be prepared for the university; for my father's desire was, that i should become a clergyman: not, indeed, that thus i might serve god, but that i might have a comfortable living. my time was now spent in studying, reading novels, and indulging, though so young, in sinful practices. thus it continued till i was fourteen years old, when my mother was suddenly removed. the night she was dying, i, not knowing of her illness, was playing at cards till two in the morning, and on the next day, being the lord's day, i went with some of my companions in sin to a tavern, and then we went about the streets, half intoxicated. the following day i attended, for the first time, the religious instruction, which i was to receive previous to my confirmation. this likewise was attended to in a careless manner; and when i returned to my lodgings, my father had arrived to fetch my brother and me home to our mother's funeral. this bereavement made no lasting impression on my mind. i grew worse and worse. three or four days before i was confirmed, (and thus admitted to partake of the lord's supper,) i was guilty of gross immorality; and the very day before my confirmation, when i was in the vestry with the clergyman to confess my sins, (according to the usual practice,) after a formal manner, i defrauded him; for i handed over to him only the twelfth part of the fee which my father had given me for him. in this state of heart, without prayer, without true repentance, without faith, without knowledge of the plan of salvation, i was confirmed, and took the lord's supper, on the sunday after easter . yet i was not without some feeling about the solemnity of the thing, and i stayed at home in the afternoon and evening, whilst the other boys and girls, who had been confirmed with me, walked about in the fields i also made resolutions to turn from those vices in which i was living, and to study more. but as i had no regard to god, and attempted the thing in my own strength, all soon came to nothing, and i still grew worse. six weeks after my confirmation i went for a fortnight to brunswick, to a sister of my father, where i became attached to a young female, who was a roman catholic. my time till midsummer was spent partly in study, but in a great degree in playing the piano-forte and guitar, reading novels, frequenting taverns, forming resolutions to become different, yet breaking them almost as fast as they were made. my money was often spent on my sinful pleasures, through which i was now and then brought into trouble, so that once, to satisfy my hunger, i stole a piece of coarse bread, the allowance of a soldier who was quartered in the house where i lodged. what a bitter, bitter thing is the service of satan, even in this world!! at midsummer my father obtained an appointment at schoenebeck, near magdeburg, and i embraced the opportunity of entreating him to remove me to the cathedral classical school of magdeburg; for i thought, that, if i could but leave my companions in sin, and get out, of certain snares, and be placed under other tutors, i should then live a different life. but as my dependence in this matter also was not upon god, i fell into a still worse state. my father consented, and i was allowed to leave halberstadt, and to stay at heimersleben till michaelmas. during that time i superintended, according to my father's wish, certain alterations, which were to be made in his house there, for the sake of letting it profitably. being thus quite my own master, i grew still more idle, and lived as much as before in all sorts of sin. when michaelmas came, i persuaded my father to leave me at heimersleben till easter, and to let me read the classics with a clergyman living in the same place. as dr. nagel was a very learned man, and also in the habit of having pupils under his care, and a friend of my father, my request was granted. i was now living on the premises belonging to my father, under little real control, and intrusted with a considerable sum of money, which i had to collect for my father, from persons who owed it to him. my habits soon led me to spend a considerable part of this money, giving receipts for different sums, yet leaving my father to suppose i had not received them. in november i went on a pleasure excursion to magdeburg, where i spent six days in much sin; and though my absence from home had been found out by my father, before i returned from thence; yet i took all the money i could obtain, and went to brunswick, after i had, through a number of lies, obtained permission from my tutor. the reason of my going to brunswick was, the attachment i had formed eighteen months previously to the young female residing there. i spent a week at brunswick, in an expensive hotel. at the end of the week my money was expended. this, as well as the want of a passport, prevented my staying any longer in the hotel; but as i still wished to remain at brunswick, i went to my uncle, the husband of my father's sister, and made some excuse for not having gone to him in the first instance. my uncle, seeing i suppose my unsteady life, intimated after a week, that he did not wish me to remain with him any longer. i then went, without money, to another hotel, in a village near brunswick, where i spent another week in an expensive way of living. at last, the owner of the hotel suspecting that i had no money, asked for payment, and i was obliged to leave my best clothes as a security, and could scarcely thus escape from being arrested. i then walked about six miles, to wolfenbuttel, went to an inn, and began again to live as if i had plenty of money. here i stayed two days, looking out for an opportunity to run away; for i had now nothing remaining to leave as a pledge. but the window of my room was too high to allow of my escaping, by getting down at night. on the second or third morning i went quietly out of the yard, and then ran off; but being suspected and observed, and therefore seen to go off, i was immediately called after, and so had to return. i now confessed my case, but found no mercy. i was arrested, and taken between two soldiers to a police officer. being suspected by him to be a vagabond or thief, i was examined for about three hours, and then sent to gaol. i now found myself at the age of sixteen, an inmate of the same dwelling with thieves and murderers, and treated accordingly. my superior manners profited nothing. for though, as a particular favour, i received the first evening some meat with my bread, i had the next day the common allowance of the prisoners,--very coarse bread and water, and for dinner vegetables, but no meat. my situation was most wretched. i was locked up in this place day and night, without permission to leave my cell. the dinner was such that on the first day i completely loathed it; and left it untouched. the second day i took a little, the third day all, and the fourth and following days i would fain have had more. on the second day i asked the keeper for a bible, not to consider its blessed contents, but to pass away the time. however, i received none. here then i was; no creature with me; no book, no work in my hands, and large iron rails before my narrow window. during the second night i was awakened out of my sleep by the rattling of the bolts and keys. three men came into my room. when i asked them in my fright what it meant, they laughed at me, continuing quietly to try the iron rails, to see whether i could escape.--after a few days i found out, that a thief was imprisoned next to me, and, as far as a thick wooden partition would allow of it, i conversed with him; and shortly after the governor of the prison allowed him, as a favour to me, to share my cell. we now passed away our time in relating our adventures, and i was by this time so wicked, that i was not satisfied with relating things of which i had been really guilty, but i even invented stories, to show him what a famous fellow i was. i waited in vain day after day to be liberated.--after about ten or twelve days my fellow prisoner and i disagreed, and thus we two wretched beings, to increase our wretchedness, spent day after day without conversing together.--i was in prison from december th, , till january th, , when the keeper came and told me to go with him to the police office. here i found, that the commissioner, before whom i had been tried, had first written to my uncle at brunswick, and when he had written in reply, that it was better to acquaint my father with my conduct, the commissioner had done so; and thus i was kept in prison till my father sent the money which was needed for my traveling expenses, to pay my debt in the inn, and for my maintenance in the prison. so ungrateful was i now, for certain little kindnesses shown to me by my fellow-prisoner, that, although i had promised to call on his sister, to deliver a message from him, i omitted to do so; and so little had i been benefited by this my chastisement, that, though i was going home to meet an angry father, only two hours after i had left the town where i had been imprisoned, i chose an avowedly wicked person as my traveling companion for a great part of my journey. my father, who arrived two days after i had reached heimersleben, after having severely beaten me, took me home to schoenebeck, intending to keep me there till easter, and then to send me to a classical school at halle, that i might be under strict discipline and the continual inspection of a tutor. in the meantime i took pupils, whom i instructed in latin, french, arithmetic, and german grammar. i now endeavoured, by diligence in study, to regain the favour of my father. my habits were, as to outward appearance, exemplary. i made progress in my own studies, benefited my pupils, and was soon liked by every body around me, and in a short time my father had forgotten all. but all this time i was in heart as bad as ever; for i was still in secret habitually guilty of great sins. easter came, and on account of my good behaviour, my diligence in study, and also because i was no expense to my father, but earned much more than i cost him, i easily persuaded him to let me stay at home till michaelmas. but after that period he would not consent to my remaining any longer with him, and therefore i left home, pretending to go to halle to be examined. but having a hearty dislike to the strict discipline of which i had heard, and knowing also that i should meet there young men attending the university with whom i was acquainted, enjoying all the liberty of german students, whilst i myself was still at school: for these and other reasons i went to nordhausen, and had myself examined by the director of the gymnasium, to be received into that school. i then went home, but never told my father a word of all this deception, till the day before my departure, which obliged me to invent a whole chain of lies. he was then very angry; but at last, through my entreaties and persuasion, he gave way and allowed me to go. this was in the beginning of october, . i continued at nordhausen two years and six months, till easter, . during this time i studied with considerable diligence the latin classics, french, history, my own language, &c.; but did little in hebrew, greek, and the mathematics. i lived in the house of the director, and got, through my conduct, highly into his favour, so much so, that i was held up by him in the first class as an example to the rest, and he used to take me regularly with him in his walks, to converse with me in latin. i used now to rise regularly at four, winter and summer, and generally studied all the day, with little exception, till ten at night. but whilst i was thus outwardly gaining the esteem of my fellow-creatures, i did not care in the least about god, but lived secretly in much sin, in consequence of which i was taken ill, and for thirteen weeks confined to my room. during my illness i had no real sorrow of heart, yet being under certain natural impressions of religion, i read through klopstock's works without weariness. i cared nothing about the word of god. i had about three hundred books of my own, but no bible. i practically set a far higher value upon the writings of horace and cicero, voltaire and moliere, than upon the volume of inspiration. now and then i felt that i ought to become a different person, and i tried to amend my conduct, particularly when i went to the lord's supper, as i used to do twice every year, with the other young men. the day previous to attending that ordinance, i used to refrain from certain things; and on the day itself i was serious, and also swore once or twice to god, with the emblem of the broken body in my mouth, to become better, thinking that for the oath's sake i should be induced to reform. but after one or two days were over, all was forgotten, and i was as bad as before. i had now grown so wicked, that i could habitually tell lies without blushing. and further, to show how fearfully wicked i was, i will mention, out of many others, only one great sin, of which i was guilty, before i left this place. through my dissipated life i had contracted debts, which i had no means of discharging; for my father could allow me only about as much as i needed for my regular maintenance. one day, after having received a sum of money from him, and having purposely shown it to some of my companions, i afterwards feigned that it was stolen, having myself by force injured the lock of my trunk, and having also designedly forced open my guitar case. i also feigned myself greatly frightened at what had happened, ran into the director's room with my coat off, and told him that my money was stolen. i was greatly pitied. some friends also gave me now as much money as i pretended to have lost, and the circumstance afforded me a ground upon which to ask my creditors to wait longer. but this matter turned out bitterly; for the director, having ground to suspect me, though he could not prove anything, never fully restored me to his confidence. as it regards my own feeling, though i was very wicked, yet this desperate act of depravity was too much, even for my hardened conscience; for it never afterwards allowed me to feel easy in the presence of the director's wife, who, like a kind mother, had waited on me in my illness, and on whom i had now so willfully brought trouble. how long-suffering was god at this time, not to destroy me at once! and how merciful that he did not suffer me to be tried before the police, who easily would have detected that the whole was a fabrication! i was heartily glad for many reasons, but particularly on account of this latter circumstance, to be able soon after to exchange the school for the university. i had now obtained what i had fondly looked forward to. i became a member of the university, and that with very honourable testimonials. i had thus obtained permission to preach in the lutheran establishment, but i was as truly unhappy, and as far from god as ever. i had made strong resolutions, now at last, to change my course of life, for two reasons: first, because, without it, i thought no parish would choose me as their pastor; and secondly, that without a considerable knowledge of divinity i should never get a good living, as the obtaining of a valuable cure, in prussia, generally depends upon the degree which the candidates of the ministry obtain in passing the examination. but the moment i entered halle, the university town, all my resolutions came to nothing.--being now more than ever my own master, and without any control as long as i did not fight a duel, molest the people in the streets, &c., i renewed my profligate life afresh, though now a student of divinity. when my money was spent, i pawned my watch and a part of my linen and clothes, or borrowed in other ways. yet in the midst of it all i had a desire to renounce this wretched life, for i had no enjoyment in it, and had sense enough left to see, that the end one day or other would be miserable; for i should never get a living. but i had no sorrow of heart on account of offending god. one day when i was in a tavern with some of my wild fellow-students, i saw among them one of my former school-fellows, named beta, whom i had known four years before at halberstadt, but whom at that time had despised, because he was so quiet and serious. it now appeared well to me to choose him as my friend, thinking that if i could but have better companions, i should by that means improve my own conduct. i entered into familiar discourse with him, and we were soon much knit to one another. "cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm." jeremiah xvii. . this beta was a backslider. when formerly he was so quiet at school, i have reason to believe it was because the spirit of god was working on his heart; but now, having departed from the lord, he tried to put off the ways of god more and more, and to enjoy the world of which he had known but little before. i sought his friendship because i thought it would lead me to a steady life; and he gladly formed an acquaintance with me, as he told me afterwards, because he thought it would bring him into gay society. thus my poor foolish heart was again deceived. and yet, god, in his abundant mercy, made him, after all, in a way which was never thought of by me, the instrument of doing me good, not merely for time, but for eternity. about this period, june , i was again taken ill in consequence of my profligate and vicious life. my state of health would therefore no longer allow me to go on in the same course, but my desires were still unchanged. about the end of july i recovered. after this, my conduct was outwardly rather better; but this arose only from want of money. at the commencement of august, beta and i with two other students, drove about the country, for four days. all the money for this expensive pleasure had been obtained by pledging some of our remaining articles. when we returned, instead of being truly sorry on account of this sin, we thought of fresh pleasures, and, as my love for traveling was stronger than ever, through what i had seen on this last journey, i proposed to my friends to set off for switzerland. the obstacles in the way, the want of money, and the want of the passports, were removed by me. for, through forged letters from our parents, we procured passports; and through pledging all we could, particularly our books, we obtained as much money as we thought would be enough. beta was one of the party. on august th we left halle. it will be enough to say that we went as far as mount rigi in switzerland, by the way of erfurt, frankfort, heidelberg, stuttgart, zurich, and returned by the way of constance, ulm, and nuremberg. forty-three days we were, day after day, traveling, almost always on foot. i had now obtained the desire of my heart. i had seen switzerland. but still i was far from being happy. the lord most graciously preserved us from many calamitous circumstances, which, but for his gracious providence, might have overtaken us. but i did not see his hand at that time, as i have seen it since. sickness of one or more of us, or separation from one another, which might have so easily befallen us, would have brought us, being so far from home, and having but just as much money as was absolutely needed, into a most miserable condition. i was on this journey like judas; for, having the common purse, i was a thief. i managed so, that the journey cost me but two-thirds of what it cost my friends. oh! how wicked was i now. at last all of us became tired of seeing even the most beautiful views; and whilst at first, after having seen certain scenes, i had been saying with horace, at the end of the day, in my pagan heart, "vixi," (i have lived), i was now glad to get home again. september th we reached halle, from whence each of us, for the remainder of the vacation, went to his father's house. i had now, by many lies, to satisfy my father concerning the traveling expenses, and succeeded in deceiving him. during the three weeks i stayed at home i determined to live differently for the future. once more the lord showed me what resolutions come to, when made in man's strength. i was different for a few days; but when the vacation was over, and fresh students came, and, with them, fresh money, all was soon forgotten. at that time halle was frequented by students, about of whom studied divinity, all of which were allowed to preach, although, i have reason to believe, not nine of them feared the lord. the time was now come when god would have mercy upon me. his love had been set upon such a wretch as i was before the world was made. his love had sent his son to bear the punishment due to me on account of my sins, and to fulfill the law which i had broken times without number. and now at a time when i was as careless about him as ever, he sent his spirit into my heart. i had no bible, and had not read in it for years. i went to church but seldom; but, from custom, i took the lord's supper twice a year. i had never heard the gospel preached, up to the beginning of november . i had never met with a person who told me that he meant, by the help of god, to live according to the holy scriptures. in short, i had not the least idea, that there were any persons really different from myself, except in degree. one saturday afternoon, about the middle of november , i had taken a walk with my friend beta. on our return he said to me, that he was in the habit of going on saturday evenings to the house of a christian, where there was a meeting. on further enquiry he told me that they read the bible, sang, prayed, and read a printed sermon. no sooner had i heard this, than it was to me as if i had found something after which i had been seeking all my life long. i immediately wished to go with my friend, who was not at once willing to take me; for knowing me as a gay young man, he thought i should not like this meeting. at last, however, he said he would call for me.--i would here mention, that beta seems to have had conviction of sin, and probably also a degree of acquaintance with the lord, when about fifteen years old. afterwards, being in a cold and worldly state, he joined me in this sinful journey to switzerland. on his return, however, being extremely miserable, and convinced of his guilt, he made a full confession of his sin to his father; and whilst with him, sought the acquaintance of a christian brother, named richter. this dr. richter, who himself had studied a few years before at halle, gave him, on his return to the university, a letter of introduction to a believing tradesman, of the name of wagner. it was this brother, concerning whom beta spoke to me, and in whose house the meeting was held. we went together in the evening. as i did not know the manners of believers, and the joy they have in seeing poor sinners, even in any measure caring about the things of god, i made an apology for coming. the kind answer of this dear brother i shall never forget. he said: "come as often as you please; house and heart are open to you." we sat down and sang a hymn. then brother kayser, now a missionary in africa, in connection with the london missionary society, who was then living at halle, fell on his knees, and asked a blessing on our meeting. this kneeling down made a deep impression upon me; for i had never either seen any one on his knees, nor had i ever myself prayed on my knees. he then read a chapter and a printed sermon; for no regular meetings for expounding the scriptures were allowed in prussia, except an ordained clergyman was present. at the close we sang another hymn, and then the master of the house prayed. whilst he prayed, my feeling was something like this: "i could not pray as well, though i am much more learned than this illiterate man." the whole made a deep impression on me. i was happy; though, if i had been asked, why i was happy, i could not have clearly explained it. when we walked home, i said to beta, "all we have seen on our journey to switzerland, and all our former pleasures, are as nothing in comparison with this evening." whether i fell on my knees when i returned home, i do not remember; but this i know, that i lay peaceful and happy in my bed. this shows that the lord may begin his work in different ways. for i have not the least doubt, that on that evening, he began a work of grace in me, though i obtained joy without any deep sorrow of heart, and with scarcely any knowledge. that evening was the turning point in my life.--the next day, and monday, and once or twice besides, i went again to the house of this brother, where i read the scriptures with him and another brother; for it was too long for me to wait till saturday came again. now my life became very different, though not so, that all sins were given up at once. my wicked companions were given up; the going to taverns was entirely discontinued; the habitual practice of telling falsehoods was no longer indulged in, but still a few times after this i spoke an untruth.--at the time when this change took place, i was engaged in translating a novel out of french into german, for the press, in order to obtain the means of gratifying my desire to see paris, &c. this plan about the journey was now given up, though i had not light enough to give up the work in which i was engaged, but finished it. the lord, however, most remarkably put various obstacles in the way and did not allow me to sell the manuscript. at last, seeing that the whole was wrong, i determined never to sell it, and was enabled to abide by this determination. the manuscript was burnt. i now no longer lived habitually in sin, though i was still often overcome, and sometimes even by open sins, though far less frequently than before, and not without sorrow of heart. i read the scriptures, prayed often, loved the brethren, went to church from right motives, and stood on the side of christ; though laughed at by my fellow-students. it had pleased god to teach me something of the meaning of that precious truth: "god so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." i understood something of the reason why the lord jesus died on the cross, and suffered such agonies in the garden of gethsemane: even that thus, bearing the punishment due to us, we might not have to bear it ourselves. and, therefore, apprehending in some measure the love of jesus for my soul, i was constrained to love him in return. what all the exhortations and precepts of my father and others could not effect; what all my own resolutions could not bring about, even to renounce a life of sin and profligacy: i was enabled to do, constrained by the love of jesus. the individual who desires to have his sins forgiven, must seek for it through the blood of jesus. the individual who desires to get power over sin, must likewise seek it through the blood of jesus. in january , i began to read missionary papers, and was greatly stirred up to become a missionary myself. i prayed frequently concerning this matter, and thus made more decided progress for a few weeks. but soon, alas! i was drawn aside. i used frequently to meet a young female, who also came to the meetings on saturday evenings; and being the only pious female of my own age, whom i knew, i soon felt myself greatly attached to her. this led away my heart from missionary work, for i had reason to believe that her parents would not allow her to go with me. my prayers now became cold and formal, and at length were almost entirely given up. my joy in the lord left me. in this state i continued for about six weeks. at the end of that time, about easter , i saw a devoted young brother, named hermann ball, a learned man, and of wealthy parents, who, constrained by the love of christ, preferred labouring in poland among the jews as a missionary, to having a comfortable living near his relations. his example made a deep impression on me. i was led to apply his case to my own, and to compare myself with him; for i had given up the work of the lord, and, i may say, the lord himself, for the sake of a girl. the result of this comparison was, that i was enabled to give up this connexion, which i had entered into without prayer, and which thus had led me away from the lord. when i was enabled to be decided, the lord smiled on me, and i was, for the first time in my life, able fully and unreservedly to give up myself to him. it was at this time that i began truly to enjoy the peace of god, which passeth all understanding. in this my joy i wrote to my father and brother, entreating them to seek the lord, and telling them how happy i was; thinking, that if the way to happiness were but set before them, they would gladly embrace it. to my great surprise an angry answer was returned.--about this period the lord sent a believer, dr. tholuck, as professor of divinity to halle, in consequence of which a few believing students came from other universities. thus also, through becoming acquainted with other brethren, the lord led me on. with the revival of the work of grace in my heart, after the snare above referred to had been broken, my former desire, to give myself to missionary service, returned, and i went at last to my father to obtain his permission, without which i could not be received into any of the german missionary institutions. my father was greatly displeased, and particularly reproached me, saying that he had expended so much money on my education, in hope that he might comfortably spend his last days with me in a parsonage, and that he now saw all these prospects come to nothing. he was angry, and told me he would no longer consider me as his son. but the lord gave me grace to remain steadfast. he then entreated me, and wept before me; yet even this by far harder trial the lord enabled me to bear. before i went away i took an opportunity of reminding my brother of my former wicked life, and told him that now, having been thus blessed by god, i could not but live for him. after i had left my father, though i wanted more money than at any previous period of my life, as i had to remain two years longer in the university, i determined, never to take any more from him; for it seemed to me wrong, so far as i remember, to suffer myself to be supported by him, when he had no prospect that i should become, what he would wish me to be, namely, a clergyman with a good living. this resolution i was enabled to keep. by the way i would here observe, that the lord afterwards, in a most remarkable way, supplied my temporal wants. for shortly after this had occurred, several american gentlemen, three of whom were professors in american colleges, came to halle for literary purposes; and as they did not understand german, i was recommended by dr. tholuck to teach them. these gentlemen, some of whom were believers, paid so handsomely for the instruction which i gave them, and for the lectures of certain professors which i wrote out for them, that i had enough and to spare. thus did the lord richly make up to me the little which i had relinquished for his sake. " fear the lord, ye his saints; for there is no want to them that fear him." psalm xxxiv. . on my return from my father to halle, i found that the more experienced brethren thought that i ought for the present to take no further steps respecting my desire to go out as a missionary. but still it was more or less in my mind.--whitsuntide and the two days following i spent in the house of a pious clergyman in the country: for all the ministers at halle, a town of more than , inhabitants, were unenlightened men, god greatly refreshed me through this visit. dear beta was with me. on our return we related to two of our former friends, whose society we had not quite given up, though we did not any longer live with them in sin, how happy we had been on our visit. i then told them how i wished they were as happy as ourselves. they answered, we do not feel that we are sinners. after this i fell on my knees, and asked god to show them that they were sinners. having done so, i left them, and went into my bed-room, where i continued to pray for them. after a little while i returned to my sitting-room, and found them both in tears, and both told me that they now felt themselves to be sinners. from that time a work of grace commenced in their hearts. shortly after this, being still greatly exercised about going out as a missionary, and wishing much (according to my natural mind, as i now see,) to have the matter settled, in one way or the other, without being willing quietly, patiently, and prayerfully to wait on the lord, i came to the conclusion to ascertain the lord's mind by the lot. to this end i not merely drew a lot in private, but i bought a ticket in the royal lottery; and i left it thus with the lord, that if i gained any thing, i should take it to be his will that i should become a missionary, if not, that i should remain at home. my ticket came out with a small sum, on account of which it appeared to me that i should be a missionary. i therefore applied to the berlin missionary society, but was not accepted, because my father had not given his consent. very soon afterwards i was led to see in some degree, and since then much more fully, the error into which i had fallen respecting the lot. in the first place it was altogether wrong, that i, a child of god, should have any thing to do with so worldly a system as that of the lottery. but it was also unscriptural to go to the lot at all for the sake of ascertaining the lord's mind, and this i ground on the following reasons. we have neither a commandment of god for it, nor the example of our lord, nor that of the apostles, after the holy spirit had been given on the day of pentecost. . we have many exhortations in the word of god to seek to know his mind by prayer and searching the holy scriptures, but no passage which exhorts us to use the lot. . the example of the apostles (acts i.) in using the lot, in the choice of an apostle, in the room of judas iscariot, is the only passage, which can be brought in favour of the lot, from the new testament, (and to the old we have not to go under this dispensation, for the sake of ascertaining how we ought to live as disciples of christ). now concerning this circumstance we have to remember, that the spirit was not yet given (john vii. ; ch. xiv. , ; ch. xvi. , ), by whose teaching especially it is that we may know the mind of the lord; and hence we find, that, after the day of pentecost, the lot was no more used, but the apostles gave themselves to prayer and fasting to ascertain how they ought to act. in addition to this i would give my own experience concerning the lot, but only by way of illustrating the view just given; for the word of god is quite sufficient on the subject. and first as it regards my using the lot in the above case. how did it turn out? i had repeatedly asked the lord to show me his mind, whether he would have me to be a missionary or not. but not coming to a satisfactory assurance, and being very anxious to have the matter settled, i found out in my own judgment a much shorter way, namely, the lot. i ought to have said to myself, how can an individual, so ignorant as you are, think about being a teacher to others? for though i was truly begotten again, and rested upon christ alone for salvation, still i should not have been able to give a clear explanation of even the most elementary truths of the gospel. how then could i be fit to teach others? the first thing therefore i ought to have done, was, to seek through much prayer, and searching the scriptures, and a holy life, to obtain more knowledge of divine things. further, as to my impatience in wishing the matter settled, how could i have been fit to endure in that state the hardships and trials of a missionary life, in which my patience, no doubt, would have been much more severely tried? i therefore ought to have said to myself, if i cannot wait quietly, though it be many months longer, before the lord shows me clearly his will concerning the matter, how then can i be fit for missionary work? instead of thus comparing my state of heart and knowledge, with what is required in the scriptures from him who is to be a teacher, i ran hastily to the lot, and thought i had done it prayerfully. and how did it end? according to my prayers the lot decided i should be a missionary among the heathen (and my mind, at that time, especially inclined to the east indies). but the way in which the lord has led me since has been very different. and it ought not to be said in defense of the practice of deciding by lot--perhaps the lord meant you to be a missionary among the heathen, but you did not give yourself to the work? for i actually offered myself to a society, but was not accepted. moreover, since i have repeatedly offered myself most solemnly to the lord for this work, and am as sure that it is not his will that i should go out a missionary for the present, as i am sure of any thing. nor could it be said, that perhaps the lord yet may call me for this work. for if he should be pleased to do so tomorrow, yet that would prove nothing concerning the above point. for i did not use the lot to ascertain whether at any period of my life i should be engaged in missionary work, but whether i should then set about it. and to put such an explanation on the matter, would be acting as false prophets, who, when their prophecies fail, try to find out some way or other, whereby they may show that their prophecies were true. about two years after i used the lot in another instance. i went one day to a village about fifteen miles from halle, to see the few believers there. when i was about three miles from the place, it began to get dark; and finding myself in a spot where the road divided, and not knowing which way i should choose, i was greatly perplexed. i stood a moment, and then prayed to god to show me by the lot, which was the right way. now, truly one may say, if the use of the lot in our day is according to the will of god, this was particularly a case for the lord to direct me through this means. for here was one of his children in need, looking up to his father to help him, through the lot, out of his difficulty, and this his child also on a journey in his service. i drew the lot and went the way to the left. after some time i found i was on the wrong road. now, at last, as i did not know how to get into the right one, i did what i ought to have done before, and what i believe to be a scriptural way of acting; i prayed that the lord graciously would send some one to put me into the right way; and almost immediately a carriage came up, and i was directed on my journey. in one other instance i used the lot some years after. it concerned a most important matter, important for my whole life. i had then a degree of conviction, that i ought prayerfully and patiently to wait for the lord's decision. but my natural mind would have the decision at once, and thus after prayer i drew the lot, to have the matter in one way or other settled. but facts turned out completely different from what the lot decided. to ascertain the lord's will we ought to use scriptural means. prayer, the word of god, and his spirit should be united together. we should go to the lord repeatedly in prayer, and ask him to teach us by his spirit through his word. i say, by his spirit through his word. for if we should think that his spirit led us to do so and so, because certain facts are so and so, and yet his word is opposed to the step which we are going to take, we should be deceiving ourselves. for instance: a brother in business thinks he ought to leave the house in which he lives, because it is not in a good situation. he wishes to know the lord's mind, as he says, and prays about the matter. after a few days, unexpectedly, a house is offered to him without seeking after it, in a much better situation. the house is very suitable, as he thinks; the rent very moderate; and moreover the person who offers him the house tells him, that, because he is a believer he will let him have it at this cheap rent. there is, however, this scriptural objection in the way. if he goes into this house, he must carry on so large a business, to cover his expenses, that his time will be so occupied as to encroach upon those hours, which ought to be devoted to his spiritual interests. now the scriptural way of deciding would be this: no situation, no business will be given to me by god, in which i have not time enough to care about my soul (matthew vi. ). therefore, however outward circumstances may appear, it can only be considered as permitted of god, to prove the genuineness of my love, faith, and obedience, but by no means as the leading of his providence to induce me to act contrary to his revealed will. in connexion with this i would mention, that the lord very graciously gave me, from the very commencement of my divine life, a measure of simplicity and of childlike disposition in spiritual things, so that whilst i was exceedingly ignorant of the scriptures, and was still from time to time overcome even by outward sins, yet i was enabled to carry most minute matters to the lord in prayer. and i have found "godliness profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come." though very weak and ignorant, yet i had now, by the grace of god, some desire to benefit others, and he who so faithfully had once served satan, sought now to win souls for christ. i may mention a few instances. i circulated every month, in different parts of the country, about missionary papers. i also sold and distributed a considerable number of tracts, and often took my pockets full in my walks, and distributed them, and spoke to poor people whom i met. i also wrote letters to some of my former companions in sin. i visited for thirteen weeks a sick man, who, when i first began to speak to him about the things of god, was completely ignorant of his state as a sinner, trusting for salvation in his upright and moral life. after some weeks, however, the lord allowed me to see a decided change in him, and he afterwards repeatedly expressed his gratitude, that i had been sent to him by god, to be the means of opening his blind eyes. may this encourage the believing reader to sow the seed, though he does not see it spring up at once. thus the lord condescended to begin to use me soon after my conversion, though but little; for i could bear but very little, as i did not see at that time, as i do now, that god alone can give spiritual life at the first, and keep it up in the soul afterwards. how imperfectly, however, on account of my ignorance, some of these things were done, i will show by the following instance. once i met a beggar in the fields, and spoke to him about his soul. but when i perceived it made no impression upon him, i spoke more loudly; and when he still remained unmoved, i quite bawled in talking to him; till at last i went away, seeing it was of no use. though none had sought the lord less than myself, when he was pleased to begin his work in me; yet so ignorant was i of the work of the spirit, that i thought my speaking very loudly would force him into repentance towards god, and faith in the lord jesus. having heard that there was a schoolmaster living in a village, about six miles from halls, who was in the habit of holding a prayer meeting at four o'clock every morning, with the miners, before they went into the pit, giving them also an address, i thought he was a believer; and as i knew so very few brethren, i went to see him, in order, if it might be, to strengthen his hands. about two years afterwards he told me, that when i came to him first, he knew not the lord, but that he had held these prayer-meetings merely out of kindness to a relative, whose office it was, but who bad gone on a journey; and that those addresses which lie had read were not his own, but copied out of a book. he also told me, that he was much impressed with my kindness, and, what he considered condescension on my part in coming to see him, and this, together with my conversation, had been instrumental in leading him to care about the things of god; and i knew him ever afterwards as a true believer. this schoolmaster asked me, whether i would not preach in his parish, as the aged and infirm clergyman would be very glad of my assistance. up to this time i had never preached, though for fifteen months past i might have done so as a student of divinity; for before christmas i had been mercifully kept from attempting to preach, (though i wrote to my father about july that i had preached, because i knew it would please him), and after christmas, when i knew the lord, i refrained from doing so, because i felt that i was yet too little instructed in the things of god. the same reason ought to have still kept me from preaching; yet i thought, that, by taking a sermon, or the greater part of one, written by a spiritual man, and committing it to memory, i might benefit the people. had i reasoned scripturally, i should have said, surely it cannot be the will of god, that i should preach in this way, if i have not enough knowledge of the scriptures to write a sermon. moreover, i had not enough light nor tenderness of conscience to see, that i was a deceiver in the pulpit; for every body supposes, that the sermon a man preaches is, if not entirely, at least as to the most part, his own composition. i now set about putting a printed sermon into a suitable form, and committing it to memory. it was hard work. there is no joy in man's own doings and choosings. it took me nearly a whole week to commit to memory such a sermon as would take up nearly an hour in repeating. i got through it, but had no enjoyment in the work. it was on august , , at eight in the morning, in a chapel of ease, in connexion with which my friend was schoolmaster. at eleven i repeated the same sermon verbatim in the parish church. there was one service more, in the afternoon, at which i needed not to have done any thing; for the schoolmaster might have read a printed sermon, as he used to do. but having a desire to serve the lord, though i often knew not how to do it scripturally; and knowing that this aged and unenlightened clergyman had had this living for forty-eight years, and having therefore reason to believe, that the gospel scarcely ever had been preached in that place; i had it in my heart to preach again in the afternoon. but i had no second sermon committed to memory. it came, however, to my mind to read the th chapter of matthew, and to make such remarks as i was able. i did so. immediately upon beginning to expound "blessed are the poor in spirit, &c." i felt myself greatly assisted; and whereas in the morning my sermon had not been simple enough for the people to understand it, i now was listened to with the greatest attention, and i think was also understood. my own peace and joy were great. i felt this a blessed work. after the service i left the aged clergyman as soon as possible, lest i should lose my enjoyment. on my way to halle i thought, this is the way i should like always to preach. but then it came immediately to my mind, that such sort of preaching might do for illiterate country people, but that it never would do before a well educated assembly in town. i thought, the truth ought to be preached at all hazards, but it ought to be given in a different form, suited to the hearers. thus i remained unsettled in my mind as it regards the mode of preaching; and it is not surprising that i did not then see the truth concerning this matter, for i did not understand the work of the spirit, and therefore saw not the powerlessness of human eloquence. further, i did not keep in mind, that if the most illiterate persons in the congregation can comprehend the discourse, the most educated will understand it too; but that the reverse does not hold true. it was not till three years afterwards that i was led, through grace, to see what i now consider the right mode of preparation for the public preaching of the word. but about this, if god permit, i will say more when i come to that period of my life. i now preached frequently, both in the churches of villages and towns, but never had any enjoyment in doing so, except when speaking in a simple way; though the repetition of sermons, which had been committed to memory, brought more praise from my fellow-creatures. but from neither way of preaching did i see any fruit. it may be, that the last day may show the benefit even of these feeble endeavours. one reason why the lord did not permit me to see fruit, seems to me, that i should have been most probably lifted up by success. it may be also, because i prayed exceedingly little respecting the ministry of the word, and because i walked so little with god, and was so rarely a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use. about the time that i first began to preach i lived for about two months in free lodgings, provided for poor students of divinity in the orphan-house, built in dependence upon god, by that devoted and eminent servant of christ, a. h. franke, professor of divinity at halle, who died . i mention this, as some years afterwards i was benefited myself through the faith of this dear man of god.--about that time i was still so weak that i fell repeatedly into open sins, yet could not continue in them, nay, not even for a few days, without sorrow of heart, confession before god, and fleeing to the blood of the lamb. and so ignorant was i still, that i bought a crucifix in a frame, and hung it up in my room, hoping that being thus frequently reminded of the sufferings of my saviour, i should not fall so frequently into sin. but in a few days the looking to the crucifix was as nothing, and i fell about that very time more than once deeply. about this time i formed an intimate acquaintance with a brother, who was also a divinity student: and as we loved one another so much, and were so happy in one another's society, we thought that it would greatly add to our joy, and to one another's benefit, to live together, and that thus we might mutually help one another. accordingly in september , i left the free lodgings in the orphan-house, and lived with him. but alas! we were not aware, that because god is greatly glorified by the love and union of his people, for this very reason satan particularly hates it, and will, therefore, in every possible way, seek to divide them. we ought to have especially prayed, and that frequently, that the lord would keep us together in love; instead of which, i do not think that we at all feared disunion, as we loved one another so much. for this reason our great adversary soon got an advantage by our neglecting prayer concerning this point, and we were disunited, and love and union were not fully restored between us till after we had been for some time separated. having heard that a very rich lady of title, residing at frankfort-on-the-maine, about two hundred miles from halle, was a very pious person, and,in visiting a charitable institution at dusselthal, had given very liberally; and wishing much about the commencement of the year to help a poor relative with a small sum of money, and also to pay the remainder of the debt which i had contracted for my traveling expenses to switzerland: i wrote to this lady, asking her to lend me a small sum of money, in actual amount only little above £ ., but, as money in the north of germany has much more value than in england, it was as much as £ . or £ . in this country. whilst i was writing, however, the thought occurred to me, suppose this lady should not be a believer? i, therefore, pointed out to her the way of salvation, and related to her how i had been brought to the knowledge of the truth. but i received no answer by the time i might have had one.--i would just notice, that since my practice, on account of what i found in the scriptures, rom. xiii. , as it regards borrowing money, has been different. and, moreover, i have considered that there is no ground to go away from the door of the lord to that of a believer, so long as he is so willing to supply our need. about january th i was one day very wretched. satan obtained an advantage over me through over-much work; for i was in the habit of writing about fourteen hours a day. one morning i was in so wretched a state, that i said in my heart, what have i now gained by becoming a christian? afterwards i walked about in the streets in this wretched state of heart, and at last i went into a confectioner's shop, where wine and ardent spirits were sold, to eat and to drink. but as soon as i had taken a piece of cake i left the shop, having no rest, as i felt that it was unbecoming a believer, either to go to such places, or to spend his money in such a way. in the afternoon of the very day on which, in the ingratitude of my heart, i had had such unkind thoughts about the lord, (who was at that very time in so remarkable a manner supplying my temporal wants, by my being employed in writing for an american professor), he graciously showed me my sin, not by a severe chastisement, as i most righteously deserved, but by adding another mercy to the many he had already shown me. oh! how long-suffering is our lord. how does he bear with us! may i at least now seek, for the few days whilst i may stay in this world, to be more grateful for all his mercies! at two o'clock i received a parcel from frankfort, containing the exact sum of money of which i had requested the loan. there was no letter to be found. i was overwhelmed with the lord's mercy, but very much regretted that there was no letter. at last, on carefully examining the paper in which the silver had been packed, i found one, which i have kept, and which i translate from the german. "a peculiar providence has brought me acquainted with the letter which you have written to lady b. but you are under a mistake concerning her, both as it regards her character, and her stay at d., where she never was. she has been taken for another individual. but that i may lessen in some measure the difficulties in which you seem to be, i send you the enclosed small sum, for which you may thank, not the unknown giver, but the lord, who turneth the hearts like rivers of water. hold fast the faith which god has given you by his holy spirit; it is the most precious treasure in this life, and it contains in itself true happiness. only seek by watching and prayer more and more to be delivered from all vanity and self-complacency, by which even the true believer may be ensnared when he least expects it. let it be your chief aim to be more and more humble, faithful, and quiet. may we not belong to those who say and write continually,' lord,' 'lord,' but who have him not deeply in their hearts. christianity consists not in words, but in power. there must be life in us. for, therefore, god loved us first that we might love him in return; and that loving we might receive power, to be faithful to him, and to conquer ourselves, the world, distress, and death. may his spirit strengthen you for this, that you may be an able messenger of his gospel! amen. "an adoring worshipper of the saviour, jesus christ." frankfort-on-the-maine, january th, . i saw, in some measure, at the time when i received t letter, how much i needed such a faithful, and, at the same time, loving word of admonition; but i have seen it more fully since. self-complacency, and a want of quietness and saying and writing more frequently "lord," "lord," than acknowledging him by my life as such; these were the evils against which at that time i particularly needed to be cautioned; and up to this day i am still much, very much, lacking in these points: though the lord, to his praise i would say it, has done much for me in these particulars since that time. after having read this letter, my heart was full of joy, shame and gratitude. truly it was the goodness of god which brought my heart into this state, and not the money for that was gone in a few hours after for the two purposes above referred to. with my heart full of peculiar feelings, and ashamed of my conduct in the morning, i left the town towards the evening, to walk alone in a solitary place. and now, being particularly conscious of my ingratitude to the lord for all his mercies, and of my want of steadfastness in his ways, i could not forbear falling down on my knees behind a hedge, though the snow was a foot deep, anew to surrender myself wholly to him, and to pray for strength that i might for the future live more to his glory, and also to thank him for his late mercy. it was a blessed time, i continued about half an hour in prayer. after such an experience, it may be difficult for one, who does not know the plague of his own heart, to think that i was at that time a true believer, when i tell hint that so base was i, so altogether like a beast before my god, and unmindful of his mercies to me in christ, that only a few weeks after i fell into a wretched backsliding state, in which i continued for many days, during which time prayer was almost entirely given up. it was on one of these days that i rang my bell, and ordered the servant to fetch me wine. and now i began to drink. but how good was the lord! though i desired to drink, that i might be able more easily to go on in sin, yet he would not allow me to give up myself to the wickedness of my heart. for whilst in my ungodly days i had drunk once about five quarts of strong beer in one afternoon, in the way of bravado, and once also much wine at one time, without remorse of conscience, i could now take only two or three glasses before the wickedness of my conduct was brought before me; and my conscience told me that i drank merely for the sake of drinking, and thus i gave it up. it was about this time that i formed the plan of exchanging the university of halle for that of berlin, on account of there being a greater number of believing professors and students in the latter place. but the whole plan was formed without prayer, or at least without earnest prayer. when, however, the morning came on which i had to take decided steps concerning it, and to apply for the university-testimonials, the lord graciously stirred me up, prayerfully to consider the matter; and finding that i bad no sufficient reason for leaving halle, i gave up the plan, and have never had reason to regret having done so. in the vacations, michaelmas, , and easter, , and at other times, i visited a moravian settlement, called gnadau, which was only about three miles distant from the place where my father then resided. through the instrumentality of the brethren, whom i met there, my spirit was often refreshed. the public means of grace by which i could be benefited were very few. though i went regularly to church when i did not preach myself, yet i scarcely ever heard the truth; for there was no enlightened clergyman in the town. and when it so happened that i could bear dr. tholuck, or any other godly minister, the prospect of it beforehand, and the looking back upon it afterwards, served to fill me with joy. now and then i walked ten or fifteen miles to enjoy this privilege. may those who enjoy the faithful ministry of the word feel exceedingly thankful for it. there are few blessings on earth greater for a believer; and yet the lord is frequently obliged to teach us the value of this blessing by depriving us of it for a season. another means of grace which i attended, besides the saturday evening meetings in brother wagner's house, was a meeting every lord's day evening with the believing students, which consisted of six or more in number, and increased, before i left halle, to about ; and which, after the easter vacation of , was held in my room till i left halle. in these meetings one, or two, or more of the brethren prayed, and we read the scriptures, sang hymns, and sometimes also one or another of the brethren spoke a little in the way of exhortation, and we read also such writings of godly men as were calculated for edification. i was often greatly stirred up and refreshed in these meetings; and twice, being in a backsliding state, and therefore cold and miserable, i opened my heart to the brethren, and was brought out of that state through the means of their exhortations and prayers. "forsake not the assembling of yourselves together," is a most important exhortation. even if we should not derive any especial benefit, at the time, so far as we are conscious, yet we may be kept from much harm. and very frequently the beginning of coldness of heart is nourished by keeping away from the meetings of the saints. i know, when i was cold, and had no real desire to be brought out of that state, i went a few times into the villages, where i was sure not to meet with brethren, that i might not be spoken to about the things of god. yet so gracious was the lord, that my very wretchedness brought me back after a few hours. the lord had begun a good work in me; and being faithful, though i was faithless, he would not give me up, but carried on his gracious work in me; though it would have progressed much more rapidly, had not my rebellious heart resisted. as to the other means of grace i would say: i fell into the snare, into which so many young believers fall, the reading of religious books in preference to the scriptures. i could no longer read french and german novels, as i had formerly done, to feed my carnal mind; but still i did not put into the room of those books the best of all books. i read tracts, missionary papers, sermons, and biographies of godly persons. the last kind of books i found more profitable than others, and had they been well selected, or had i not read too much of such writings, or had any of them tended particularly to endear the scriptures to me, they might have done me much good.--i never had been at any time in my life in the habit of reading the holy scriptures. when under fifteen years of age, i occasionally read a little of them at school; afterwards god's precious book was entirely laid aside, so that i never read one single chapter of it, as far as i remember, till it pleased god to begin a work of grace in my heart. now the scriptural way of reasoning would have been: god himself has condescended to become an author, and i am ignorant about that precious book, which his holy spirit has caused to be written through the instrumentality of his servants, and it contains that which i ought to know, and the knowledge of which will lead me to true happiness; therefore i ought to read again and again this most precious book, this book of books, most earnestly, most prayerfully, and with much meditation; and in this practice i ought to continue all the days of my life. for i was aware, though i read it but little, that i knew scarcely anything of it. but instead of acting thus, and being led by my ignorance of the word of god to study it more, my difficulty in understanding it, and the little enjoyment i had in it, made me careless of reading it (for much prayerful reading of the word, gives not merely more knowledge, but increases the delight we have in reading it); and thus, like many believers, i practically preferred, for the first four years of my divine life, the works of uninspired men to the oracles of the living god. the consequence was, that i remained a babe, both in knowledge and grace. in knowledge i say; for all true knowledge must be derived, by the spirit, from the word. and as i neglected the word, i was for nearly four years so ignorant, that i did not clearly know even the fundamental points of our holy faith. and this lack of knowledge most sadly kept me back from walking steadily in the ways of god. for it is the truth that makes us free, (john viii. , ,) by delivering us from the slavery of the lusts of the flesh, the lusts of the eyes, and the pride of life. the word proves it. the experience of the saints proves it; and also my own experience most decidedly proves it. for when it pleased the lord in aug. , to bring me really to the scriptures, my life and walk became very different. and though even since that i have very much fallen short of what i might and ought to be, yet, by the grace of god, i have been enabled to live much nearer to him than before. if any believers read this, who practically prefer other books to the holy scriptures, and who enjoy the writings of men much more than the word of god, may they be warned by my loss. i shall consider this book to have been the means of doing much good, should it please the lord, through its instrumentality, to lead some of his people no longer to neglect the holy scriptures, but to give them that preference, which they have hitherto bestowed on the writings of men. my dislike to increase the number of books would have been sufficient to deter me from writing these pages, had i not been convinced, that this is the only way in which the brethren at large may be benefited through my mistakes and errors, and been influenced by the hope, that in answer to my prayers, the reading of my experience may be the means of leading them to value the scriptures more highly, and to make them the rule of all their actions. before i leave this subject i would only add: if the reader understands very little of the word of god, he ought to read it very much; for the spirit explains the word by the word. and if he enjoys the reading of the word little, that is just the reason why he should read it much; for the frequent reading of the scriptures creates a delight in them, so that the more we read them, the more we desire to do so. and if the reader should be an unbeliever, i would likewise entreat him to read the scriptures earnestly, but to ask god previously to give him a blessing. for in doing so, god may make him wise unto salvation, tim. iii. . if any one should ask me, how he may read the scriptures most profitably, i would advise him, that i. above all he should seek to have it settled in his own mind, that god alone, by his spirit, can teach him, and that therefore, as god will be inquired of for blessings, it becomes him to seek god's blessing previous to reading, and also whilst reading. ii. he should have it, moreover, settled in his mind, that although the holy spirit is the best and sufficient teacher, yet that this teacher does not always teach immediately when we desire it, and that, therefore, we may have to entreat him again and again for the explanation of certain passages; but that he will surely teach us at last, if indeed we are seeking for light prayerfully, patiently, and with a view to the glory of god. iii. it is of immense importance for the understanding of the word of god, to read it in course, so that we may read every day a portion of the old and a portion of the new testament, going on where we previously left off. this is important-- , because it throws light upon the connexion, and a different course, according to which one habitually selects particular chapters, will make it utterly impossible ever to understand much of the scriptures. , whilst we are in the body, we need a change even in spiritual things, and this change the lord has graciously provided in the great variety which is to be found in his word. , it tends to the glory of god; for the leaving out some chapters here and there, is practically saying, that certain portions are better than others; or, that there are certain parts of revealed truth unprofitable or unnecessary. , it may keep us, by the blessing of god, from erroneous views, as in reading thus regularly through the scriptures, we are led to see the meaning of the whole, and also kept from laying too much stress upon certain favourite views. , the scriptures contain the whole revealed will of god, and therefore we ought to seek to read from time to time through the whole of that revealed will. there are many believers, i fear, in our day, who have not read even once through the whole of the scriptures; and yet in a few months, by reading only a few chapters every day, they might accomplish it. iv. it is also of the greatest importance to meditate on what we read, so that perhaps a small portion of that which we have read, or, if we have time, the whole may be meditated upon in the course of the day. or a small portion of a book, or an epistle, or a gospel, through which we go regularly for meditation, may be considered every day, without, however, suffering oneself to be brought into bondage by this plan. learned commentaries i have found to store the head with many notions, and often also with the truth of god; but when the spirit teaches, through the instrumentality of prayer and meditation, the heart is affected. the former kind of knowledge generally puffs up, and is often renounced, when another commentary gives a different opinion, and often also is found good for nothing, when it is to be carried out into practice. the latter kind of knowledge generally humbles, gives joy, leads us nearer to god, and is not easily reasoned away; and having been obtained from god, and thus having entered into the heart, and become our own, is also generally carried out. if the inquirer after truth does not understand the hebrew and greek languages, so as to be able to compare the common translation with the original, he may, concerning several passages, get light by an improved rendering, provided he can be sure that the translator was a truly spiritual person. the last and most important means of, grace, namely, prayer, was comparatively but little improved by me. i prayed, and i prayed often. i also prayed, in general, by the grace of god, with sincerity; but had i been more earnestly praying, or even only as much, as i have prayed of late years, i should have made much more rapid progress. in august, , i heard that the continental society in england intended to send a minister to bucharest, the residence of many nominal german christians, to help an aged brother in the work of the lord; the two other german protestant ministers in that place being, the one a socinian, and the other an unenlightened orthodox preacher. after consideration and prayer i offered myself for this work to professor tholuck, who was requested to look out for a suitable individual; for with all my weakness i had a great desire to live wholly for god. most unexpectedly my father gave his consent, though bucharest was above a thousand miles from my home, and as completely a missionary station as any other. i considered this a remarkable providence; though i see now, that a servant of christ has to act for his master, whether it be according to the will of his earthly father or not. i then went home to, spend a short time with my father. in the town where he lived, containing about inhabitants, i could not hear of a single believer, though i made many inquiries. the time i stayed with my father was more profitably spent than it had formerly been. i was enabled more than ever before to realize my high calling. i had by the grace of god power over sin; at least much more than at any former period of my life. i returned to halle, and now prepared with earnestness for the work of the lord. i set before me the sufferings which might await me. i counted the cost. and he, who once so fully-served satan, was now willing, constrained by the love of christ, rather to suffer affliction for the sake of jesus, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season. i also prayed with, a degree of earnestness concerning my future work. one day, at the end of october, the above-mentioned brother, hermann ball, missionary to the jews, attended the lord's day evening meeting in my room, on his way through halle, and stated that he feared, on account of his health, his should be obliged to give up labouring among the jews. when i heard this, i felt a peculiar desire to fill up his place. about this very time also i became exceedingly fond of the hebrew language, which i had cared about very little up to that time, and which i had merely studied now and then, from a sense of duty. but now i studied it, for many weeks, with the greatest eagerness and delight. whilst i thus from time to time felt a desire to fill up brother ball's place as a missionary to the jews, (about which, however, i did not seriously think, because dr. tholuck daily expected a letter from london, finally to settle the particulars respecting my going to bucharest); and whilst i thus greatly delighted in the study of hebrew: i called in the evening of nov. th on dr. tholuck. in the course of conversation he asked me, whether i had ever had a desire to be a missionary to the jews, as i might be connected with the london missionary society, for promoting christianity among them, for which he was an agent. i was struck with the question, and told him what had passed in my mind, but added that it was not proper to think anything about that, as i was going to bucharest: to which he agreed. when i came home, however, these few words were like fire within me. the next morning i felt all desire for going to bucharest gone, which appeared to me very wrong and fleshly, and i therefore entreated the lord, to restore to me the former desire for labouring on that missionary station. he graciously did so almost immediately. my earnestness in studying hebrew, and my peculiar love for it, however, continued. about this time i had an offer of becoming tutor to the sons of a pious gentleman of title, which i did not accept on account of my purpose of going to bucharest, and if that should come to nothing, on account of my desire of being a missionary to the jews. about ten days after, dr. tholuck received a letter from the continental society, stating, that, on account of the war between the turks and russians, it appeared well to the committee, for the time being to give up the thought of sending a minister to bucharest, as it was the seat of war between the two armies. dr. tholuck then asked me again, what i now thought about being a missionary to the jews. my reply was, that i could not then give an answer, but that i would let him know, after i had prayerfully considered the matter. after prayer and consideration, and consulting with experienced brethren, in order that they might probe my heart as to my motives, i came to this conclusion, that, though i could not say with certainty it was the will of god that i should be a missionary to the jews, yet, that i ought to offer myself to the committee, leaving it with the lord to do with me afterwards, as it might seem good in his sight. accordingly dr. tholuck wrote, about the beginning of december, , to the committee in london. at christmas i spent a few days at belleben, a village about fifteen miles from halle, where i had been once or twice before, both for the sake of refreshing the few brethren living there, and also of having my own spirit refreshed by their love. one evening, when i was expounding the scriptures to them, an unconverted young man happened to be present, and it pleased the lord to touch his heart, so that he was brought to the knowledge of the truth. in the beginning of the year there was a new workhouse established at halle, into which persons of bad character were put for a time, and made to work. being disposed to benefit unbelievers, i heartily desired to have permission statedly to preach the word of truth to them while i stayed at halle, particularly as i understood that one of the lecturers of divinity in the university, who was a socinian, had applied for this living. i wrote to the magistrates of the city, and offered to preach to those criminals gratuitously, hoping that in this way there would be less objection to my doing so. the reply was, that dr.--had applied for this living, and that it had been laid before the provincial government for consideration, but that they would be glad if i would preach in the workhouse till the matter was decided. the decision did not come for some time, and i had thus an opportunity of preaching twice every lord's day, and once or twice on the week evenings; and besides this i took the criminals one by one into a room, to converse with them about their souls. thus the lord condescended to give to one so unworthy, so ignorant, so weak in grace, and so young in the faith and in years, a most important field of labour. however, it was well, that even under these circumstances i should have laboured there; for humanly speaking, had i not been there, they would have had either no instruction at all, or a socinian, or an unenlightened preacher would have preached to them. and besides this, i had at least some qualification for ministering there; for i knew the state of those poor sinners, having been myself formerly, in all probability, a great deal worse than most of them, and my simplicity and plainness of speech they would not have found in every minister. after some months the matter was decided, the socinian lecturer of divinity, dr. --, was appointed to the living, and i had to discontinue my labours. it was not before march , that professor tholuck received an answer from london respecting me, in which the committee put a number of questions to me, on the satisfactory answers to which my being received by them would depend. after replying to this first communication, i waited daily for an answer, and was so much the more desirous of having it, as my course in the university was completed. but no answer came. had my desire, to serve the lord among the jews, been of the flesh, it would in all likelihood not have continued; but i still thought about it, and continued to make it a subject of prayer. at last, on june th, i received a letter from london, stating that the committee had determined, to take me as a missionary student for six months on probation, provided that i would come to london. i had now had the matter before me about seven months, having supposed, not only that it would have been settled in a few weeks, but also, that, if i were accepted, i should be sent out immediately, as i had passed the university. instead of this, not only seven months passed over before the decision came, but i was also expected to come to london, and not only so, but, though i had from my infancy been more or less studying, and now at last wished actively to be engaged, it was required that i should again become a student. for a few moments, therefore, i was greatly disappointed and tried. but, on calmly considering the matter, it appeared to me but right that the committee should know me personally, and that it was also well for me to know them more intimately than merely by correspondence, as this afterwards would make our connexion much more comfortable. i determined therefore, after i had seen my father, and found no difficulty on his part, to go to london. there was, however, an obstacle in the way of my leaving the country. every prussian male subject is under the necessity of being for three years a soldier, provided his state of body allows it; but those who have had a classical education up to a certain degree, and especially those who have passed the university, need to be only one year in the army, but have to equip and maintain themselves during that year. now, as i had been considered fit for service, when i was examined in my twentieth year, and had only been put back, at my own request, till my twenty-third year, and as i was now nearly twenty-three, i could not obtain a passport out of the country, till i had either served, my time, or had been exempted by the king himself. the latter i hoped would be the case; for it was a well known fact that those who had given themselves to missionary service, had been always exempted. certain brethren of influence, living in the capital, to whom i wrote on the subject, advised me, however, to write first to the president of the government of the province to which i belonged. this was done, but i was not exempted. then those brethren wrote to the king himself; but he replied, that the matter must be referred to the ministry and to the law, and no exception was made in my favour. i now knew not what to do. in the meantime, at the beginning of august, i was taken ill. it was a common cold at first, but i could not get rid of it, as formerly. at last a skillful physician was consulted, and powerful means were used. after some time, he prescribed tonics and wine. for a day or two i seemed to get better, but after that it appeared, by the return of giddiness in my head, that the tonics had been too soon resorted to. at last, having used still other means, i seemed in a fit state for tonics, and began again to take them. at the same time one of my friends, an american professor, took me as a companion with him to berlin and other places, so that we rode about the country for about ten days together. as long as i was day after day in the open air, going from place to place, drinking wine and taking tonics, i felt well; but as soon as i returned to hale, the old symptoms returned. a second time the tonics were given up, and the former means used. about ten weeks had by this time passed away, since i was first taken ill. this illness, in which a particular care for the body seemed to be so right, and in which therefore frequent walks were taken, and in which i thought myself justified in laying aside the study of hebrew, &c., had not at all a beneficial effect on my soul. in connexion with this one of my chief companions at this time, the last-mentioned american professor, was a backslider. if the believing reader does not know much of his own heart and of man's weakness, he will scarcely think it possible that, after i had been borne with by the lord so long, and had received so many mercies at his hands, and had been so fully and freely pardoned through the blood of jesus, which i both knew from his word, and had also enjoyed; and after that i had been in such various ways engaged in the work of the lord; i should have been once more guilty of great backsliding, and that at the very time when the hand of god was lying heavily upon me. oh! how desperately wicked is the human heart. it was in this cold state of heart, that i rode with my friend to leipsic, at the time of the famous michaelmas fair. he wished me to go with him to the opera. i went, but had not the least enjoyment. after the first act i took a glass of ice for refreshment. after the second act i was taken faint in consequence of this, my stomach being in a very weak state; but i was well enough; after a while, to go to the hotel, where i passed a tolerable night. on the next morning my friend ordered the carriage for our return to halle. this circumstance the lord graciously used as a means of arousing me; and on our way home, i freely opened my mind to my friend about the way in which we had been going on; and he then told me that he was in a different state of heart, when he left america. he also told me, when i was taken faint, that he thought it was an awful place to die in. this was the second and last time, since i have believed in the lord jesus, that i was in a theatre; and but once, in the year , i went to a concert, when i likewise felt, that it was unbecoming for me, as a child of god, to be in such a place. on my return to halle i broke a blood-vessel in my stomach, in consequence of the glass of ice. i was now exceedingly weak, in which state i continued far several weeks, and then went for change of air into the country, to the house of a beloved brother in the lord, who, up to this day, has continued a kind and faithful friend to me. my heart was now again in a better state than it had been before the rupture of the blood-vessel, thus the lord, in the faithful love of his heart, seeing that i was in a backsliding state, chastised me for my profit; and the chastisement yielded, in a measure at least, the peaceable fruit of righteousness. heb. xii. , . whilst i was staying in the country, i received a letter from the american professor, who had in the meantime changed halle for berlin, and who wished me to come to berlin, where, being near the court, i should be more likely to obtain an exemption from my military duty; and he mentioned, at the same time, that all the expenses, connected with my staying in berlin, would be fully covered by the remuneration i should receive for teaching german to himself and two of his friends, for a few hours every week. as i had no more connexion with the university at halle, my course having been finished for more than six months past, and as i had the prospect of being spiritually benefited through my stay in berlin, and there was no probability, if i remained at halle, of obtaining the above-mentioned exemption, i came to the conclusion to go to berlin. two ladies of title traveled with me to berlin in a hired carriage. as i knew that we should be for two days together, i thought, in my fleshly wisdom, that though i ought to speak to them about the things of god, i should first show them kindness and attention, and that, after having thus opened a way to their hearts, i might fully set before them their state by nature, and point them to the lamb of god. we went on together most amicably, i making only a few general remarks about divine things. on the second evening, however, when we were near the end of our journey, i felt that it was high time to speak. and no sooner had i begun plainly to do so, than one of them replied, "oh! sir, i wish you had spoken sooner about these things, for we have, for a long time, wished to have some one to whom we might open our hearts; but seeing that the ministers whom we know do not live consistently, we have been kept from speaking to them." i now found that they had been under conviction of sin for some time, but did not know the way to obtain peace, even by faith in the lord jesus. after this i spoke freely to them during the hour that yet remained. they parted from me under feelings of gratitude and regret that they could hear no more, for they only passed through berlin. i felt myself greatly reproved, and all i could do was, by a long letter, to seek to make up for my deficiency in ministering to them on the journey. may this circumstance never be forgotten by me, and may it prove a blessing to the believing reader. my chief concern now was how i might obtain a passport for england, through exemption from military duty. but the more certain brethren tried, though they knew how to set about the matter, and were also persons of rank, the greater difficulty there appeared to be in obtaining my object; so that in the middle of january it seemed as if i must immediately become a soldier. there was now but one more way untried, and it was at last resorted to. a believing major, who was on good terms with one of the chief generals, proposed that i should actually offer myself for entering the army, and that then i should be examined as to my bodily qualifications, in the hope, that, as i was still in a very weak state of body, i should be found unfit for military service. in that case it would belong to the chief general finally to settle the matter; who, being a godly man himself, on the major's recommendation would, no doubt, hasten the decision, on account of my desire to be a missionary to the jews. at the same time it stood so, that, if i should be found fit for service, i should have to enter the army immediately. thus far the lord had allowed things to go, to show me, it appears, that all my friends could not procure me a passport till his time was come. but now it was come. the king of kings had intended that i should go to england, because he would bless me there, and make me a blessing, though i was at that time, and am still most unworthy of it; and, therefore, though the king of prussia had not been pleased to make an exemption in my favour, yet now all was made plain, and that at a time when hope had almost been given up, and when the last means had been resorted to. i was examined, and was declared to be unfit for military service. with a medical certificate to this effect, and a letter of recommendation from the major i went to this chief general, who received me very kindly and who himself wrote instantaneously to a second military physician, likewise to examine me at once. this was done, and it was by him confirmed that i was unfit. now the chief general himself, as his adjutants happened to be absent, in order to hasten the matter, wrote with his own hands the papers which were needed, and i got a complete dismissal, and that for life, from all military engagements. this was much more than i could have expected. this military gentleman spoke to me in a very kind way, and pointed out certain parts of the scriptures, which he in particular advised me to bring before the jews, especially romans xi. on considering why the lord delayed my obtaining this permission, i find that one of the reasons may have been, that i might both be profited myself by my stay in berlin, and that i also might be instrumental in benefiting others. as to the first, i would mention, that i learned a lesson in berlin which i did not know before. whilst i was at halle, i thought i should much enjoy being among so many christians as there are in berlin. but when i was there i found, that enjoyment in the lord does not depend upon the multitude of believers, by whom we are surrounded. as to the second point, perhaps the last day may show, that the lord had some work for me in berlin: for, from the time of my coming until i left, i preached three, four, or five times every week in the wards of a poorhouse, which was inhabited by about three hundred aged and infirm people. i also preached once in a church, and likewise visited one of the prisons several times on lord's days to converse with the prisoners about their souls, where i was locked in by the keeper with the criminals in their cells. on the whole my time in berlin was not lost; and i was in a better state of heart than i had been for any length of time before, i was not once overcome by my former outward besetting sins, though i have nothing to boast of even as it regards that period; and were only the sins of those days brought against me, had i not the blood of jesus to plead, i should be most miserable. but i think it right to mention, for the glory of god, as i have so freely spoken about my falls, that whilst i was more than ever unobserved by others; and whilst i was living in the midst of more gaiety and temptations than ever; and had far more money than at any previous time of my life; i was kept from things of which i had been habitually guilty in my unconverted days!--my health was in a very weak state, almost the whole time whilst i was staying in berlin, and was in no degree better, till, on the advice of, a believing medical professor, i gave up all medicine. having now without any further difficulty obtained my passport, i left berlin on february rd, , for london. the lord gave me more grace on my way from berlin than on my way to it; for my mouth was almost immediately opened to my fellow-travelers, and the message of the gospel seemed to be listened to with interest, particularly by one. on february th i arrived at my father's house; it was the place where i had lived as a boy, and the scene of many of my sins, my father having now returned to it after his retirement from office. i came to it with peculiar feelings. these feelings were not excited merely by the fact of my having been seven years absent from it, but arose from the spiritual change i had undergone since i last saw the place; for i had never been at heimersleben since my father fetched me from thence, which was a few days after my imprisonment at wolfenbüttel had come to an end. there were but three persons in the whole town with whom my soul had any fellowship. one of them had spent all his money in coal mines, and was then earning his daily bread by thrashing corn. as a boy i had in my heart laughed at him, for he seemed so different from all other people. now i sought him out, having previously been informed that he was a believer, to acknowledge him as such, by having fellowship with him, and attending, a meeting in his house on the lord's day evening. my soul was refreshed, and his also. such a spiritual feast, as meeting with a brother, was a rare thing to him. may we believers who live in great britain, and especially those of us who are surrounded by many children of god, seek for grace, more highly to prize the blessings which, we enjoy through fellowship with brethren! this dear brother, who had then been a believer for more than twenty years, had only a few times heard the gospel preached during all that period. what a wonderful thing that i, one of the vilest of those brought up in that small town, should have been so abundantly favoured, as to have been brought to the knowledge of the truth, whilst none of all my relations, and scarcely one of those who grew up with me, so far as it has come to my knowledge, know the lord! i left my father's house on february th, with the prospect of seeing him again in about a twelvemonth, as a missionary among the jews. but how has the lord graciously altered matters!--i was kindly lodged for a night at halberstadt by an aged brother, and then proceeded towards rotterdam, by the way of munster. at munster i rested a few days, and was very kindly received by several brethren. they were officers in the army, and two of them had been, but a little while before this, roman catholics. i lodged in the house of a beloved brother, a tailor, who likewise had been a roman catholic. about february nd i arrived at rotterdam. i took lodgings in the house of a believer, where two german brethren lodged, whom i had known at halle, and who intended to go out as missionaries in connexion with the dutch missionary society. it was a peculiar feeling to me, for the first time in my life to find myself among christians of another nation, to attend their family prayer, hear them sing, &c. in spirit i had fellowship with them, though our communication was but broken, as i understood but little of the dutch language. here also i heard for the first time the preaching of the gospel in english, of which i knew enough to understand a part of what was said.--my going to england by the way of rotterdam was not the usual way; but consulting with a brother in berlin, who had been twice in england, i was told that this was the cheapest route. my asking this brother, to be profited by his experience, would have been quite right, had i, besides this, like ezra, sought of the lord the right way. ezra viii. . but i sought unto men only, and not at all unto the lord, in this matter. when i came to rotterdam, i found that no vessels went at that time from that port to london, on account of the ice having just broken up in the river, and that it would be several weeks before the steamers would again begin to ply. thus i had to wait nearly a month at rotterdam, and, therefore, not only needed much more time than i should have required to go by way of hamburgh, but also much more money. on march th, , i landed in london. i now found myself, in a great measure, as it regards liberty, brought back to the years when i was at school; yea, almost all the time i had been at school, and certainly for the last four years, previous to my coming to england, i was not so much bound to time and order as i was in this seminary; and had not there been a degree of grace in me, yea, so much as not to regard the liberty of the flesh, i should now probably have given up all idea of being a missionary to the jews. but as i did not see that anything was expected from me which i could not conscientiously accede to, i thought it right to submit myself, for the lord's sake, to all the regulations of the institution. my brethren in the seminary, most of them germans, had instruction in hebrew, latin, greek, french, german, &c., scarcely any of them having had a classical education; i read only hebrew, and was exempted from all the rest. i remember how i longed to be able to expound the scriptures in english, when i heard a german brother do so, a few days after my arrival. and i also remember what joy it gave me, when a few weeks after, for the first time, i spoke in english to a little boy, whom i met alone in the fields, about his soul, thinking that he would bear with my broken english.--i now studied much, about twelve hours a day, chiefly hebrew; commenced chaldee; perfected myself in reading the german-jewish in rabbinic characters, committed portions of the hebrew old testament to memory, &c.; and this i did with prayer, often falling on my knees, leaving my books for a little, that i might seek the lord's blessing, and also, that i might be kept from that spiritual deadness, which is so frequently the result of much study. i looked up to the lord even whilst turning over the leaves of my hebrew dictionary, asking his help, that i might quickly find the words. i made comparatively little progress in english; for living with some of my countrymen, i was continually led to converse in german. my experience in this particular leads me to remark, that, should this fall into the hands of any who are desirous to labour as missionaries among a people whose language is not their own, they should seek not merely to live among them, for the sake of soon learning their language, but also, as much as possible, to be separated from those who speak their own language; for, when, some months after, i was in devonshire, completely separated from those who spoke german, i daily made much progress, whilst i made comparatively little in london. soon after my arrival in england, i heard one of the brethren in the seminary speak about a mr. groves, a dentist in exeter, who, for the lord's sake, had given up his profession, which brought him in about fifteen hundred pounds a year, and who intended to go as a missionary to persia, with his wife and children, simply trusting in the lord for temporal supplies. this made such an impression on me, and delighted me so, that i not only marked it down in my journal, but also wrote about it to my german friends. i came to england weak in body, and in consequence of much study, as i suppose, i was taken ill on may , and was soon, at least in my own estimation, apparently, beyond recovery. the weaker i became in body, the happier i was in spirit. never in my whole life had i seen myself so vile, so guilty, so altogether what i ought not to have been, as at this time. it was as if every sin, of which i had been guilty, was brought to my remembrance; but, at the same time, i could realize that all my sins were completely forgiven that i was washed and made clean, completely clean, in the blood of jesus. the result of this was, great peace. i longed exceedingly to depart and to be with christ. when my medical attendant came to see me, my prayer was something like this: "lord, thou knowest that he does not know what is for my real welfare, therefore do thou direct him." when i took my medicine, my hearty prayer each time was something like this: "lord, thou knowest that this medicine is in itself nothing, no more than as if i were to take a little water. now please, lord, to let it produce the effect which is for my real welfare, and for thy glory. let me either be taken soon to thyself or let me be soon restored; let me be ill for a longer time, and then taken to thyself, or let me be ill for a longer time, and then restored. lord, do with me as seemeth thee best!" one sin in particular was brought to my mind, which i never had seen before, viz., that whilst all my life, even in former sicknesses, i had been blessed with uninterrupted refreshing sleep, which now, for some nights, had almost entirely fled from my eyes, i had never heartily thanked god for it. after i had been ill about a fortnight, my medical attendant unexpectedly pronounced me better. this, instead of giving me joy, bowed me down, so great was my desire to be with the lord; though almost immediately afterwards grace was given me to submit myself to the will of god. after some days i was able to leave my room. whilst recovering i still continued in a spiritual state of heart, desiring to depart and to be with christ. as i recovered but slowly, my friends entreated me to go into the country for change of air; but my heart was in such a happy and spiritual frame, that i did not like the thought of traveling and seeing places. so far was i changed, who once had been so passionately fond of traveling. but as my friends continued to advise me to go into the country, i thought at last that it might be the will of god that i should do so, and i prayed therefore thus to the lord: "lord, i will gladly submit myself to thy will, and go if thou wilt have me to go. and now let me know thy will by the answer of my medical attendant. if, in reply to my question, he says it would be very good for me, i will go; but if he says it is of no great importance, then i will stay." when i asked him, he said that it was the best thing i could do. i was then enabled willingly to submit, and accordingly went to teignmouth. it was there that i became acquainted with my beloved brother, friend, and fellow-labourer, henry craik. a few days after my arrival at teignmouth, the chapel, called ebenezer, was reopened, and i attended the opening. i was much impressed by one of those who preached on the occasion. for though i did not like all he said, yet i saw a gravity and solemnity in him different from the rest. after he had preached, i had a great desire to know more of him; and being invited by two brethren of exmouth, in whose house he was staying, to spend some time with them, i had an opportunity of living ten days with him under the same roof. through the instrumentality of this brother the lord bestowed a great blessing upon me, for which i shall have cause to thank him throughout eternity. i will mention some points which god then began to show me. . that the word of god alone is our standard of judgment in spiritual things; that it can be explained only by the holy spirit; and that in our day, as well as in former times, he is the teacher of his people. the office of the holy spirit i had not experimentally understood before that time. indeed, of the office of each of the blessed persons, in what is commonly called the trinity, i had no experimental apprehension. i had not before seen from the scriptures that the father chose us before the foundation of the world; that in him that wonderful plan of our redemption originated, and that he also appointed all the means by which it was to be brought about. further, that the son, to save us, had fulfilled the law, to satisfy its demands, and with it also the holiness of god; that he had borne the punishment due to our sins, and had thus satisfied the justice of god. and further, that the holy spirit alone can teach us about our state by nature, show us the need of a saviour, enable us to believe in christ, explain to us the scriptures, help us in preaching, &c. it was my beginning to understand this latter point in particular, which had a great effect on me; for the lord enabled me to put it to the test of experience, by laying aside commentaries, and almost every other book, and simply reading the word of god and studying it. the result of this was, that the first evening that i shut myself into my room, to give myself to prayer and meditation over the scriptures, i learned more in a few hours than i had done during a period of several months previously. but the particular difference was, that i received real strength for my soul in doing so. i now began to try by the test of the scriptures the things which i had learned and seen, and found that only those principles, which stood the test, were really of value. . before this period i had been much opposed to the doctrines of election, particular redemption, and final persevering grace; so much so that, a few days after my arrival at teignmouth, i called election a devilish doctrine. i did not believe that i had brought myself to the lord, for that was too manifestly false; but yet i held, that i might have resisted finally. and further, i knew nothing about the choice of god's people, and did not believe that the child of god, when once made so, was safe for ever. in my fleshly mind i had repeatedly said, if once i could prove that i am a child of god for ever, i might go back into the world for a year or two, and then return to the lord, and at last be saved. but now i was brought to examine these precious truths by the word of god. being made willing to have no glory of my own in the conversion of sinners, but to consider myself merely as an instrument; and being made willing to receive what the scriptures said; i went to the word, reading the new testament from the beginning, with a particular reference to these truths. to my great astonishment i found that the passages which speak decidedly for election and persevering grace, were about four times as many as those which speak apparently against these truths; and even those few, shortly after, when i had examined and understood them, served to confirm me in the above doctrines. as to the effect which my belief in these doctrines had on me, i am constrained to state, for god's glory, that though i am still exceedingly weak, and by no means so dead to the lusts of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, as i might and as i ought to be, yet, by the grace of god, i have walked more closely with him since that period. my life has not been so variable, and i may say that i have lived much more for god than before. and for this have i been strengthened by the lord, in a great measure, through the instrumentality of these truths. for in the time of temptation, i have been repeatedly led to say: should i thus sin? i should only bring misery into my soul for a time, and dishonour god; for, being a son of god for ever, i should have to be brought back again, though it might be in the way of severe chastisement. thus, i say, the electing love of god in christ (when i have been able to realize it) has often been the means of producing holiness, instead of leading me into sin. it is only the notional apprehension of such truths, the want of having them in the heart, whilst they are in the head, which is dangerous. . another truth, into which, in a measure, i was led during my stay in devonshire, respected the lord's coming. my views concerning this point, up to that time, had been completely vague and unscriptural. i had believed what others told me, without trying it by the word. i thought that things were getting better and better, and that soon the whole world would be converted. but now i found in the word, that we have not the least scriptural warrant to look for the conversion of the world before the return of our lord. i found in the scriptures, that that which will usher in the glory of the church, and uninterrupted joy to the saints, is the return of the lord jesus, and that, till then, things will be more or less in confusion. i found in the word, that the return of jesus, and not death, was the hope of the apostolic christians; and that it became me, therefore, to look for his appearing. and this truth entered so into my heart, that, though i went into devonshire exceedingly weak, scarcely expecting that i should return again to london, yet i was immediately, on seeing the truth, brought off from looking for death, and was made to look for the return of the lord. having seen this truth, the lord also graciously enabled me to apply it, in some measure at least, to my own heart, and to put the solemn question to myself--what may i do for the lord, before he returns, as he may soon come? . in addition to these truths, it pleased the lord to lead me to see a higher standard of devotedness than i had seen before. he led me, in a measure, to see what is my true glory in this world, even to be despised, and to be poor and mean with christ. i saw then, in a measure, though i have seen it more fully since, that it ill becomes the servant to seek to be rich, and great, and honoured in that world, where his lord was poor, and mean, and despised. i do not mean to say that all that which i believe at present concerning these truths, and those which, in connexion with them, the lord has shown me since august , were apprehended all at once; and much less did i see them all at once with the same clearness, as, by the grace of god, i do now; yet my stay in devonshire was a most profitable time to my soul. my prayer had been, before i left london, that the lord would be pleased to bless my journey to the benefit of my body and soul. this prayer was answered in both respects; for in the beginning of september i returned to london much better in body; and, as to my soul, the change was so great, that it was like a second conversion. after my return to london, i sought to benefit my brethren in the seminary, and the means which i used were these. i proposed to them to meet together every morning from six to eight for prayer and reading the scriptures, and that then each of us should give out what he might consider the lord had shown him to be the meaning of the portion read. one brother in particular was brought into the same state as myself; and others, i trust, were more or less benefited. several times, when i went to my room after family prayer in the evening, i found communion with god so sweet, that i continued in prayer till after twelve, and then, being full of joy, went into the room of the brother just referred to; and, finding him also in a similar frame of heart, we continued praying until one or two and even then i was a few times so full, of joy, that i could scarcely sleep, and at six in the morning again called the brethren together for prayer. all this moreover did not leave me idle, as it regards actual engagements in the lord's work, as i will now show. after i had been for about ten days in london, and had been confined to the house on account of my studies, my health began again to decline; and i saw that it would not be well, my poor body being only like a wreck or brand brought out of the devil's service, to spend my little remaining strength in study, but that i now ought to set about actual engagements in the lord's work, particularly as he had now given me more light about his truth, and also a heart to serve him. i consequently wrote to the committee of the society, requesting them to send me out at once, as they had now had an opportunity of knowing me; and, that they might do so with more confidence, to send me as a fellow-labourer to an experienced brother. however i received no answer. after having waited about five or six weeks, in the meantime seeking in one way or other to labour for the lord, it struck me that i was wrong and acting unscripturally, in waiting for the appointment to missionary work from my fellow-men; but that, considering myself called by the lord to preach the gospel, i ought to begin at once to labour among the jews in london, whether i had the title of missionary or not. in consequence of this i distributed tracts among the jews, with my name and residence written on them, thus inviting them to conversation about the things of god; preached to them in those places where they most numerously collect together; read the scriptures regularly with about fifty jewish boys; and became a teacher in a sunday school. in this work i had much enjoyment and the honour of being reproached and ill-treated for the name of jesus. but the lord gave me grace, never to be kept from the work by any danger, or the prospect of any suffering. my light increased more and more during the months of september, october, and november. at the end of november it became a point of solemn consideration with me, whether i could remain connected with the society in the usual way. my chief objections were these: . if i were sent out by the society, it was more than probable, yea, almost needful, if i were to leave england, that i should labour on the continent, as i was unfit to be sent to eastern countries on account of my health, which would probably have suffered, both on account of the climate, and of my having to learn other languages. now, if i did go to the continent, it was evident, that without ordination i could not have any extensive field of usefulness, as unordained ministers are generally prevented from labouring freely there; but i could not conscientiously submit to be ordained by unconverted men, professing to have power to set me apart for the ministry, or to communicate something to me for this work which they do not possess themselves. besides this, i had other objections to being connected with any state church or national religious establishment, which arose from the increased light which i had obtained through the reception of this truth, that the word of god is our only standard, and the holy spirit our only teacher. for as i now began to compare what i knew of the establishment in england and those on the continent, with this only true standard, the word of god, i found that all establishments, even because they are establishments, i.e. the world and the church mixed up together, not only contain in them the principles which necessarily must lead to departure from the word of god; but also, as long as they remain establishments, entirely preclude the acting throughout according to the holy scriptures.--then again, if i were to stay in england, the society would not allow me to preach in any place indiscriminately, where the lord might open a door for me; and to the ordination of english bishops i had still greater objections, than to the ordination of a prussian consistory. . i further had a conscientious objection against being led and directed by men in my missionary labours. as a servant of christ it appeared to me, i ought to be guided by the spirit, and not by men, as to time and place; and this i would say, with all deference to others, who may be much more taught and much more spiritually minded than myself. a servant of christ has but one master. . i had love for the jews, and i had been enabled to give proofs of it; yet i could not conscientiously say, as the committee would expect from me, that i would spend the greater part of my time only among them. for the scriptural plan seemed to me, that, in coming to a place, i should seek out the jews, and commence my labour particularly among them; but that, if they rejected the gospel, i should go to the nominal christians--the more i weighed these points, the more it appeared to me that i should be acting hypocritically, were i to suffer them to remain in my mind, without making them known to the committee. the question that next occurred to me was, how i ought to act if not sent out by the society. with my views i could not return to prussia; for i must either refrain from preaching, or imprisonment would be the result. the only plan that presented itself to me was, that i should go from place to place throughout england, as the lord might direct me, and give me opportunity, preaching wherever i went, both among jews and nominal christians. to this mode of service i was especially stirred up through the recently received truth of the lord's second coming, having it impressed upon my heart to seek to warn sinners, and to stir up the saints; as he might soon come. at the same time it appeared to me well, that i should do this in connexion with the society for promoting christianity among the jews, serving them without any salary, provided they would accept me on these conditions. an objection which came to my mind against taking any step which might lead to the dissolution of my connexion with the society, namely, that i had been some expense to it, and that thus i should appear ungrateful, and the money would seem to have been thrown away, was easily removed in this way: . when i engaged with the society, i did it according to the light i then had. . i have but one master; his is the money, and to him i have to give an account. . though i have nothing to boast of, but much reason to be ashamed before god on account of my lack of service; yet, speaking after the manner of men, in some measure i did work, not only in the lord's service, but even in that particular line for which the money had been put into the hands of the committee. there remained now only one point more to be settled: how i should do for the future as it regarded the supply of my temporal wants, which naturally would have been a great obstacle, especially as i was not merely a foreigner, but spoke so little english, that whilst i was greatly assisted in expounding the scriptures, it was with difficulty i could converse about common things. on this point, however, i had no anxiety; for i considered, that, as long as i really sought to serve the lord, that is, as long as i sought the kingdom of god and his righteousness, these my temporal supplies would be added to me. the lord most mercifully enabled me to take the promises of his word, and rest upon them, and such as matthew vii. , , john xiv. , , matthew vi. - , were the stay of my soul concerning this point. in addition to this, the example of brother groves, the dentist before alluded to, who gave up his profession, and went out as a missionary, was a great encouragement to me. for the news, which by this time had arrived, of how the lord had aided him on his way to petersburg, and at petersburg, strengthened my faith. at last, on december , , i came to the conclusion to dissolve my connexion with the society, if they would not accept my services under the above conditions, and to go throughout the country preaching, (being particularly constrained to do so from a desire to serve the lord as much as in me lay, before his return), and to trust in him for the supply of my temporal wants. yet at the same time it appeared well to me to wait a month longer, and to consider the matter still further, before i wrote to the committee, that i might be sure i had weighed it fully. on december th i went to the church missionary institution at islington, in the hope of benefiting the students there, if it were the lord's will. i returned very happy, as i almost invariably was at that time, and went to bed full of joy. next morning, (being that of christmas day), i awoke in a very different state of heart from what i had experienced for many weeks past. i had no enjoyment, and felt cold and lifeless in prayer. at our usual morning meeting, however, one of the brethren exhorted me to continue to pray, saying that the lord surely would again smile on me, though now for a season, for wise purposes, he seemed to have withdrawn himself. i did so. at the lord's table, in the morning, a measure of enjoyment returned. afterwards i dined in a family, in company with the brother just referred to. my former enjoyment gradually returned. towards evening the lord gave me an opportunity of speaking about his return, and i had great enjoyment in doing so. at eight o'clock i was asked to expound at family prayer, and was much assisted by the lord. about half an hour after the exposition was over, i was requested to come out of the room to see one of the servants, and the mother of another of the servants, who had been present at family prayer. i found them in tears, and both deeply impressed and under concern about their souls. i then went home, at least as happy as on the previous evening. i have related this circumstance, because i am aware that it is a common temptation of satan to make us give up the reading of the word and prayer when our enjoyment is gone; as if it were of no use to read the scriptures when we do not enjoy them, and as if it were of no use to pray when we have no spirit of prayer; whilst the truth is, in order to enjoy the word, we ought to continue to read it, and the way to obtain a spirit of prayer, is, to continue praying; for the less we read the word of god, the less we desire to read it, and the less we pray, the less we desire to pray. about the beginning of the next year my fellow students had a fortnight's vacation, and as with them i had conformed myself to the order of the institution, i felt that i might also partake of their privileges; not indeed to please the flesh, but to serve the lord. on december th, i therefore left london for exmouth, where i intended to spend my vacation in the house of my christian friends, who had kindly lodged me the summer before, that i might preach there during this fortnight, and still more fully weigh the matter respecting my proposal to time society. i arrived at exmouth on december st, at six in the evening, an hour before the commencement of a prayer-meeting at ebenezer chapel. my heart was burning with a desire to tell of the lord's goodness to my soul, and to speak forth what i considered might not be known to most with whom i met. being, however, not called on, either to speak or pray, i was silent. the next morning i spoke on the difference between being a christian and a happy christian, and showed, whence it generally comes, that we rejoice so little in the lord. this my first testimony was blessed to many believers, that god, as it appears, might show me that he was with me. among others it proved a blessing to a christian female, who had been for ten years in bondage, and who, in the providence of god, had been brought from exeter to be present that morning. this she told me many months after, when i met her on a journey. at the request of several believers i spoke again in the afternoon, and also proposed a meeting in the chapel every morning at ten, to expound the epistle to the romans. i had also most days a meeting in a room with several ladies, for reading the scriptures with them. this i did that i might make the best of my fortnight. the second day after my arrival, a brother said to me: "i have been praying for this month past that the lord would do something for lympstone, a large parish where there is little spiritual light. there is a wesleyan chapel, and i doubt not you would be allowed to preach there." being ready to speak of jesus wherever the lord might open a door, yet so, that i could be faithful to the truths which he had been pleased to teach me, i went, and easily obtained liberty to preach twice on the next day, being the lord's day. besides this i preached in another village near exmouth; so that i spoke once, twice, or three times in public or private meetings every day for the first ten or twelve days, and that with great enjoyment to my own soul. during the first days of january, , whilst at exmouth, it became more and more clear to me, that i could not be connected with the society under the usual conditions; and as i had an abundance of work where i was, and little money to spend in traveling (for all i possessed was about five pounds), it appeared best to me to write at once to the committee, that, whilst they were coming to a decision respecting me, i might continue to preach. i therefore wrote to them, stating what had been my views before i became acquainted with them, and what they were now. i also stated my difficulty in remaining, connected with them on the usual terms, as stated in substance above; and then concluded, that as, however, i owed them much, as having been instrumental in bringing me to england, where the lord had blessed me so abundantly: and as i, also, should like to obtain from them the hebrew scriptures and tracts for the jews: i would gladly serve them without any salary, if they would allow me to labour in regard to time and place as the lord might direct me. some time after i received a very kind private letter from one of the secretaries, who always had been very kind to me, together with the following official communication from the committee. "london society for promoting christianity amongst the jews." at a meeting of the missionary sub-committee, held january , , society house, , wardrobe place, doctors' commons, a letter was read from mr. g. f. müller. "resolved, that mr. müller be informed, that while the committee cordially rejoice in any real progress in knowledge and grace which he may have made under the teaching of the holy spirit, they, nevertheless, consider it inexpedient for any society to employ those who are unwilling to submit themselves to their guidance with respect to missionary operations; and that while, therefore, mr. müller holds his present opinions on that point, the committee cannot consider him as a missionary student; but should more mature reflection cause him to alter that opinion, they will readily enter into further communication with him." thus my connexion with the society was entirely dissolved. fifty-two years have passed away since, and i never have, even for one single moment, regretted the step i took, but have to be sorry that i have been so little grateful for the lord's goodness to me in that matter. the following part of the narrative also will prove to the enlightened reader, how god blessed my acting out the light he had been pleased to give me. but i cannot leave this subject, without adding, that it is far from my intention to throw any blame upon the society. i have no wish to do so: nay, i confess, were the last-mentioned circumstances not so intimately connected with my being in england, i would rather have left out the matter altogether. but being under the necessity of saying something about my connexion with it, it appeared best to me to relate the circumstances just as they were. yet i do testify that i have not done it in the least for the sake of injuring the society; for i have received much kindness from some of those connected with it, particularly from two worthy men, then taking a prominent part in managing its affairs. if i be judged differently, i can only say, "judge nothing before the time, until the lord come." after i had preached about three weeks at exmouth and its neighbourhood, i went to teignmouth, with the intention of staying there ten days, to preach the word among the brethren with whom i had become acquainted during the previous summer, and thus to tell them of the lord's goodness to me. one of the brethren said almost immediately on my arrival at teignmouth, i wish you would become our minister, as the present one is going to leave us. my answer was, i do not intend to be stationary in any place, but to go through the country, preaching the word as the lord may direct me. in the evening, monday, i preached for brother craik, at shaldon, in the presence of three ministers, none of whom liked the sermon; yet it pleased god, through it, to bring to the knowledge of his dear son, a young woman who had been servant to one of these ministers, and who had heard her master preach many times. how differently does the lord judge from man! here was a particular opportunity for the lord to get glory to himself. a foreigner was the preacher, with great natural obstacles in the way, for he was not able to speak english with fluency; but he had a desire to serve god, and was by this time also brought into such a state of heart as to desire that god alone should have the glory, if any good were done through his instrumentality. how often has it struck me, both at that time and since, that his strength was made perfect in my weakness. on tuesday evening i preached at ebenezer chapel, teignmouth, the same chapel at the opening of which i became acquainted with the brother, whom the lord had afterwards used as an instrument of benefiting me so much. my preaching was also disliked there by many of the hearers; but the lord opened the hearts of a few to receive the truth, and another young woman was brought to the lord through the instrumentality of the word then preached. on wednesday i preached again in the same chapel, and the word was disliked still, perhaps more, though the few, who received the truth in the love of it, increased in number. on thursday i preached again at shaldon, and on friday at teignmouth. the effect was the same; dislike on the one side, and joy and delight in the truth on the other. by this time i began to reflect about the cause of this opposition; for the same brethren who had treated me with much kindness the summer previous, when i was less spiritually minded, and understood much less of the truth, now seemed to oppose me, and i could not explain it in any other way than this, that the lord intended to work through my instrumentality at teignmouth, and that therefore satan, fearing this, sought to raise opposition against me. on the lord's day i dined with a brother, whose heart the lord had opened to receive me as a servant of christ. after dinner i talked to a young woman, his servant, at the request of her sister, who on the tuesday previous had been convinced of sin, and on the friday brought to enjoy peace in the lord. this young woman also was, through the instrumentality of this conversation, brought to see her sinful state, though she could not rejoice in the lord until about seven months after. how differently the lord dealt with her sister, and yet the work of grace was as real in the one as in the other, as i had full opportunity of seeing afterwards! on this same lord's day i preached twice at teignmouth, and once at shaldon; for so precious did every opportunity seem to me, and so powerfully did i feel the importance of those precious truths, which i had so recently been led to see, that i longed to be instrumental in communicating them to others. by this time the request, that i might stay at teignmouth, and be the minister of the above chapel, had been repeatedly expressed by an increasing number of the brethren; but others were decidedly against my remaining there. this opposition was instrumental in settling it in my mind that i should stay for awhile, at least until i was formally rejected. in consequence of this conclusion i took the following step, which, it may be, i should not repeat under similar circumstances, but which was certainly taken in love to those who were concerned in the matter, and for the glory of god, as far as i then had light. on the tuesday following, after preaching, i told the brethren how, in the providence of god, i had been brought to them without the least intention of staying among them, but that, on finding them without a minister, i had been led to see it to be the will of god to remain with them. i also told them, as far as i remember, that i was aware of the opposition of some, but that i nevertheless intended to preach to them till they rejected me; and if they should say, i might preach, but they would give me no salary, that would make no difference on my part, as i did not preach for the sake of money; but i told them, at the same time, that it was an honour, to be allowed to supply the temporal wants of any of the servants of christ. the latter point i added, as it seemed right to me, to give out the whole counsel of god, as far as i knew it. on the next day, wednesday, i left, and having preached in two or three places near exmouth, and taken leave of my friends there, i returned to teignmouth. here i preached again three times on the lord's day, none saying we wish you not to preach, though many of the hearers did not hear with enjoyment. some of them left, and never returned; some left, but returned after awhile. others came to the chapel, who had not been in the habit of attending there previous to my coming. there was sufficient proof that the work of god was going on, for there were those who were glad to hear what i preached, overlooking the infirmities of the foreigner, delighting in the food for their souls, without caring much about the form in which the truth was set before them; and these were not less spiritual than the rest: and there were those who objected decidedly; some, however, manifesting merely the weakness of brethren, and others the bitterness of the opposers of the cross. there was, in addition to this, a great stir, a spirit of inquiry, and a searching of the scriptures, whether these things were so. and what is more than all, god set his seal upon the work, in converting sinners. twelve weeks i stood in this same position, whilst the lord graciously supplied my temporal wants, through two brethren, unasked for. after this time, the whole little church, eighteen in number, unanimously gave me an invitation to become their pastor. my answer to them was, that their invitation did not show me more than i had seen before, that it was the will of god that i should remain with them, yet that for their sakes i could not but rejoice in this invitation, as it was a proof to me that god had blessed them through my instrumentality, in making them thus of one mind. i also expressly stated to the brethren, that i should only stay so long with them, as i saw it clearly to be the will of the lord; for i had not given up my intention of going from place to place, if the lord would allow me to do so. the brethren, at the same time, now offered to supply my temporal wants, by giving me £ . a year, which sum was afterwards somewhat increased, on account of the increase of the church. i now had teignmouth for my residence, but i did not confine my labours to this place; for i preached regularly once a week in exeter, once a fortnight at topsham, sometimes at shaldon, often at exmouth, sometimes in the above-mentioned villages near exmouth, regularly once a week at bishopsteignton, where a part of the church lived, and afterwards repeatedly at chudleigh, collumpton, newton bushel, and elsewhere. that which i now considered the best mode of preparation for the public ministry of the word, no longer adopted from necessity, on account of want of time, but from deep conviction, and from the experience of god's blessing upon it, both as it regards my own enjoyment, the benefit of the saints, and the conversion of sinners, is as follows:-- . i do not presume to know myself what is best for the hearers, and i therefore ask the lord in the first place, that he would graciously be pleased to teach me on what subject i shall speak, or what portion of his word i shall expound. now sometimes it happens, that previous to my asking him, a subject or passage has been in my mind, on which it has appeared well for me to speak. in that case i ask the lord, whether i should speak on this subject or passage. if, after prayer, i feel persuaded that i should i fix upon it, yet so, that i would desire to leave myself open to the lord to change it, if he please. frequently, however, it occurs, that i have no text or subject in my mind, before i give myself to prayer for the sake of ascertaining the lord's will concerning it. in this case i wait some time on my knees for an answer, trying to listen to the voice of the spirit to direct me. if then a passage or subject, whilst i am on my knees, or after i have finished praying for a text, is brought to my mind, i again ask the lord, and that sometimes repeatedly, especially if, humanly speaking, the subject or text should be a peculiar one, whether it be his will that i should speak on such a subject or passage. if after prayer my mind is peaceful about it, i take this to be the text, but still desire to leave myself open to the lord for direction, should he please to alter it, or should i have been mistaken. frequently also, in the third place, it happens, that i not only have no text nor subject on my mind previous to my praying for guidance in this matter, but also i do not obtain one after once, or twice, or more times praying about it. i used formerly at times to be much perplexed, when this was the case, but for more than forty-five years it has pleased the lord, in general at least, to keep me in peace about it. what i do is, to go on with my regular reading of the scriptures, where i left off the last time, praying (whilst i read) for a text, now and then also laying aside my bible for prayer, till i get one. thus it has happened, that i have had to read five, ten; yea twenty chapters, before it has pleased the lord to give me a text: yea, many times i have even had to go to the place of meeting without one, and obtained it perhaps only a few minutes before i was going to speak; but i have never lacked the lord's assistance at the time of preaching, provided i had earnestly sought it in private. the preacher cannot know the particular state of the various individuals who compose the congregation, nor what they require, but the lord knows it; and if the preacher renounces his own wisdom, he will be assisted by the lord; but if he will choose in his own wisdom, then let him not be surprised if he should see little benefit result from his labours. before i leave this part of the subject, i would just observe one temptation concerning the choice of a text. we may see a subject to be so very full, that it may strike us it would do for some other occasion. for instance, sometimes a text, brought to one's mind for a week-evening meeting, may appear more suitable for the lord's day, because then there would be a greater number of hearers present. now, in the first place, we do not know whether the lord ever will allow us to preach on another lord's day; and, in the second place, we know not whether that very subject may not be especially suitable for some or many individuals present just that week-evening. thus i was once tempted, after i had been a short time at teignmouth, to reserve a subject, which had been just opened to me, for the next lord's day. but being able, by the grace of god, to overcome the temptation by the above reasons, and preaching about it at once, it pleased the lord to bless it to the conversion of a sinner, and that too an individual who meant to come but that once more to the chapel, and to whose case the subject was most remarkably suited. . now when the text has been obtained in the above way, whether it be one or two or more verses, or a whole chapter or more, i ask the lord that he would graciously be pleased to teach me by his holy spirit, whilst meditating over it. within the last fifty years, i have found it the most profitable plan to meditate with my pen in my hand, writing down the outlines, as the word is opened to me. this i do, not for the sake of committing them to memory, nor as if i meant to say nothing else, but for the sake of clearness, as being a help to see how far i understand the passage. i also find it useful afterwards to refer to what i have thus written. i very seldom use any other help besides the little i understand of the original of the scriptures, and some good translations in other languages. my chief help is prayer. i have never in my life begun to study one single part of divine truth, without gaining some light about it, when i have been able really to give myself to prayer and meditation over it. but that i have often found a difficult matter, partly on account of the weakness of the flesh, and partly also on account of bodily infirmities and multiplicity of engagements. this i most firmly believe, that no one ought to expect to see much good resulting from his labours in word and doctrine, if he is not much given to prayer and meditation. . having prayed and meditated on the subject or text, i desire to leave myself entirely in the hands of the lord. i ask him to bring to my mind what i have seen in my room, concerning the subject i am going to speak on, which he generally most kindly does, and often teaches me much additionally, whilst i am preaching. in connection with the above, i must, however, state, that it appears to me there is a preparation for the public ministry of the word, which is even more excellent than the one spoken of. it is this: to live in such constant and real communion with the lord, and to be so habitually and frequently in meditation over the truth, that without the above effort, so to speak, we have obtained food for others, and know the mind of the lord as to the subject or the portion of the word on which we should speak. but this i have only in a small measure experienced, though i desire to be brought into such a state, that habitually "out of my belly may flow rivers of living water." that which i have found most beneficial in my experience for the last fifty-one years in the public ministry of the word, is, expounding the scriptures, and especially the going now and then through a whole gospel or epistle. this may be done in a two-fold way, either by entering minutely into the bearing of every point occurring in the portion, or by giving the general outlines, and thus leading the hearers to see the meaning and connexion of the whole. the benefits which i have seen resulting from expounding the scriptures are these: . the hearers are thus, with god's blessing, led to the scriptures. they find, as it were, a practical use of them in the public meetings. this induces them to bring their bibles, and i have observed that those who at first did not bring them, have afterwards been induced to do so: so that in a short time few, of the believers at least, were in the habit of coming without them. this is no small matter; for every thing, which in our day will lead believers to value the scriptures, is of importance. . the expounding of the scriptures is in general more beneficial to the hearers than if, on a single verse, or half a verse, or two or three words of a verse some remarks are made, so that the portion of scripture is scarcely anything but a motto for the subject; for few have grace to meditate much over the word, and thus exposition may not merely be the means of opening up to them the scriptures, but may also create in them a desire to meditate for themselves. . the expounding of the scriptures leaves to the hearers a connecting link, so that the reading over again the portion of the word, which has been expounded, brings to their remembrance what has been said; and thus, with god's blessing, leaves a more lasting impression on their minds. this is particularly of importance as it regards the illiterate, who sometimes have neither much strength of memory nor capacity of comprehension. . the expounding of large portions of the word, as the whole of a gospel or an epistle, besides leading the hearer to see the connexion of the whole, has also this particular benefit for the teacher, that it leads him, with god's blessing, to the consideration of portions of the word, which otherwise he might not have considered, and keeps him from speaking too much on favourite subjects, and leaning too much to particular parts of truth, which tendency must surely sooner or later injure both himself and his hearers.--expounding the word of god brings little honour to the preacher from the unenlightened or careless hearer, but it tends much to the benefit of the hearers in general. simplicity in expression, whilst the truth is set forth, is, in connexion with what has been said, of the utmost importance. it should be the aim of the teacher to speak so, that children, servants, and people who cannot read, may be able to understand him, so far as the natural mind can comprehend the things of god. it ought also to be remembered, that there is, perhaps, not a single congregation in which there are not persons of the above classes present, and that if they can understand, the well-educated or literary persons will understand likewise; but the reverse does not hold good. it ought further to be remembered that the expounder of the truth of god speaks for god, for eternity, and that it is not in the least likely that he will benefit the hearers, except he uses plainness of speech, which nevertheless needs not to be vulgar or rude. it should also be considered, that if the preacher strive to speak according to the rules of this world, he may please many, particularly those who have a literary taste; but, in the same proportion, he is less likely to become an instrument in the hands of god for the conversion of sinners, or for the building up of the saints. for neither eloquence nor depth of thought make the truly great preacher, but such a life of prayer and meditation and spirituality, as may render him a vessel meet for the master's use, and fit to be employed both in the conversion of sinners and in the edification of the saints. about the beginning of april i went to preach at sidmouth. while i was staying there, three sisters in the lord had, in my presence, a conversation about baptism, one of whom had been baptized after she had believed. when they had conversed a little on the subject, i was asked to give my opinion concerning it. my reply was, "i do not think, that i need to be baptized again." i was then asked by the sister who bad been baptized, "but have you been baptized?" i answered, "yes, when i was a child." she then replied, "have you ever read the scriptures, and prayed with reference to this subject?" i answered, "no." "then," she said, "i entreat you, never to speak any more about it till you have done so." it pleased the lord to show me the importance of this remark; for whilst at that very time i was exhorting every one to receive nothing which could not be proved by the word of god, i had repeatedly spoken against believers' baptism, without having ever earnestly examined the scriptures, or prayed concerning it; and now i determined, if god would help me, to examine that subject also, and if infant baptism were found to be scriptural, i would earnestly defend it; and if believers' baptism were right, i would as strenuously defend that, and be baptized. as soon as i had time, i set about examining the subject. the mode i adopted was as follows: i repeatedly asked god to teach me concerning it, and i read the new testament from the beginning, with a particular reference to this point. but now, when i earnestly set about the matter, a number of objections presented themselves to my mind. . since many holy and enlightened men have been divided in opinion concerning this point, does this not prove, that it is not to be expected we should come to a satisfactory conclusion about this question in the present imperfect state of the church?--this question was thus removed: if this ordinance is revealed in the bible, why may i not know it, as the holy spirit is the teacher in the church of christ now as well as formerly? . there have been but few of my friends baptized, and the greater part of them are opposed to believers' baptism, and they will turn their backs on me. answer: though all men should forsake me, if the lord jesus takes me up, i shall be happy. . you will be sure to lose one half of your income if you are baptized. answer: as long as i desire to be faithful to the lord, he will not suffer me to want. . people will call you a baptist, and you will be reckoned among that body, and you cannot approve of all that is going on among them. answer: it does not follow that i must in all points go along with all those who hold believers' baptism, although i should be baptized. . you have been preaching for some years, and you will have thus publicly to confess, that you have been in an error, should you be led to see that believers' baptism is right. answer: it is much better to confess that i have been in error concerning that point than to continue in it. . even if believers' baptism should be right, yet it is now too late to attend to it, as you ought to have been baptized immediately on believing. answer: it is better to fulfill a commandment of the lord jesus ever so late, than to continue in the neglect of it. it had pleased god, in his abundant mercy, to bring my mind into such a state, that i was willing to carry out into my life whatever i should find in the scriptures concerning this ordinance, either the one way or the other. i could say, "i will do his will," and it was on that account, i believe, that i soon saw which "doctrine is of god," whether infant baptism or believers' baptism. and i would observe here, by the way, that the passage to which i have just now alluded, john vii. , has been a most remarkable comment to me on many doctrines and precepts of our most holy faith. for instance: "resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. and if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. and whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." matthew v. - . "sell that ye have, and give alms." luke xii. . "owe no man any thing, but to love one another." rom. xiii. . it may be said, surely these passages cannot be taken literally, for how then would the people of god be able to pass through the world. the state of mind enjoined in john vii. , will cause such objections to vanish. whosoever is willing to act out these commandments of the lord literally, will, i believe, be led with me to see that, to take them literally, is the will of god.--those who do so take them will doubtless often be brought into difficulties, hard to the flesh to bear, but these will have a tendency to make them constantly feel that they are strangers and pilgrims here, that this world is not their home, and thus to throw them more upon god, who will assuredly help us through any difficulty into which we may be brought by seeking to act in obedience to his word. as soon as i was brought into this state of heart, i saw from the scriptures that believers only are the proper subjects for baptism, and that immersion is the only true scriptural mode, in which it ought to be attended to. the passage which particularly convinced me of the former, is acts viii. - , and of the latter, rom. vi. - . some time after, i was baptized. i had much peace in doing so, and never have i for one single moment regretted it.--before i leave this point, i would just say a few words concerning the result of this matter, so far as it regards some of the objections which occurred to my mind when i was about to examine the scriptures concerning baptism. . concerning the first objection, my conviction now is, that of all revealed truths not on is more clearly revealed in the scriptures, not even the doctrine of justification by faith, and that the subject has only become obscured by men not having been willing to take the scriptures alone to decide the point. . not one of my true friends in the lord has turned his back on me, as i supposed, and almost all of them have been themselves baptized since. . though in one way i lost money in consequence of being baptized, yet the lord did not suffer me to be really a loser, even as it regards temporal things; for he made up the loss most bountifully. in conclusion, my example has been the means of leading many to examine the question of baptism, and to submit, from conviction, to this ordinance and seeing this truth i have been led to speak on it as well as on other truths; and during the forty-five years that i have now resided in bristol, more than three thousand believers have been baptized among us. in june of this year ( ) i went to preach at the opening of a chapel in a village near barnstaple, built by that blessed man of god, thomas pugsley, now with the lord. it pleased god to bring two souls to himself through this my visit, and one more was converted on another visit. so graciously did the lord condescend to use me, that almost everywhere he blessed the word which i preached, thereby testifying that he had sent me, and thereby also getting glory to himself in using such an instrument. it was so usual for me to preach with particular assistance, especially during the first months of this year, that once, when it was otherwise, it was much noticed by myself and others. the circumstance was this. one day, before preaching at teignmouth, i had more time than usual, and therefore prayed and meditated about six hours, in preparation for the evening meeting, and i thought i saw many precious truths in the passage on which i had meditated. it was the first part of the first chapter of the epistle to the ephesians. after i had spoken a little time, i felt that i spoke in my own strength, and i, being a foreigner, felt particularly the want of words, which had not been the case before. i told the brethren, that i felt i was left to myself, and asked their prayers. but after having continued a little longer, and feeling the same as before, i closed, and proposed that we should have a meeting for prayer, that the lord still might be pleased to help me. we did so, and i was particularly assisted the next time. during this summer also it appeared to me scriptural, according to the example of the apostles, acts xx. , to break bread every lord's day, though there is no commandment given to do so, either by the lord, or by the holy ghost through the apostles. and at the same time it appeared to me scriptural, according to eph. iv., rom. xii., &c., that there should be given room for the holy ghost to work through any of the brethren whom he pleased to use; that thus one member might benefit the other with the gift which the lord has bestowed upon him. accordingly at certain meetings any of the brethren had an opportunity to exhort or teach the rest, if they considered that they had any thing to say which might be beneficial to the hearers.--i observe here, that, as the lord gave me grace to endeavour at once to carry out the light which he had been pleased to give me on this point, and as the truth was but in part apprehended, there was much infirmity mixed with the manner of carrying it out. nor was it until several years after that the lord was pleased to teach me about this point more perfectly. that the disciples of jesus should meet together, on the first day of the week, for the breaking of bread, and that that should be their principal meeting, and that those, whether one or several, who are truly gifted by the holy spirit for service, be it for exhortation, or teaching, or rule, &c., are responsible to the lord for the exercise of their gifts: these are to me no matters of uncertainty, but points on which my soul, by grace, is established, through the revealed will of god. on october th, , i was united by marriage to miss mary groves, sister of the brother whose name has already been mentioned. this step was taken after prayer and deliberation, from a full conviction that it was better for me to be married: and i have never regretted since, either the step itself or the choice, but desire to be truly grateful to god for having given me such a wife. about this time i began to have conscientious objections against any longer receiving a stated salary. my reasons against it were these:-- . the salary was made up by pew-rents; but pew-rents are, according to james ii. - , against the mind of the lord, as, in general, the poor brother cannot have so good a seat as the rich. (all pew-rents were therefore given up, and all the seats made free, which was stated at the entrance of the chapel). . a brother may gladly do something towards my support if left to his own time; but when the quarter is up, he has perhaps other expenses, and i do not know, whether he pays his money grudgingly, and of necessity, or cheerfully; but god loveth a cheerful giver. nay, i knew it to be a fact, that sometimes it had not been convenient to individuals to pay the money, when it had been asked for by the brethren who collected it. . though the lord had been pleased to give me grace to be faithful, so that i had been enabled not to keep back the truth, when he had shown it to me; still i felt that the pew-rents were a snare to the servant of christ. it was a temptation to me, at least for a few minutes, at the time when the lord had stirred me up to pray and search the word respecting the ordinance of baptism, because £ . of my salary was at stake, if i should be baptized. for these reasons i stated to the brethren, at the end of october, , that i should for the future give up having any regular salary. after i had given my reasons for doing so, i read philippians iv., and told the saints, that if they still had a desire to do something towards my support, by voluntary gifts, i had no objection to receive them, though ever so small, either in money or provisions. a few days after it appeared to me, that there was a better way still; for if i received personally every single gift, offered in money, both my own time and that of the donors would be much taken up; and in this way also the poor might, through temptation, be kept from offering their pence, a privilege of which they ought not to be deprived; and some also might in this way give more than if it were not known who was the giver; so that it would still be doubtful whether the gifts were given grudgingly or cheerfully. for these reasons especially, there was a box put up in the chapel, over which was written, that whoever had a desire to do something towards my support, might put his offering into the box. at the same time it appeared to me right, that henceforth i should ask no man, not even my beloved brethren and sisters, to help me, as i had done a few times according to their own request, as my expenses, on account of traveling much in the lord's service, were too great to be met by my usual income. for unconsciously i had thus again been led, in some measure, to trust in an arm of flesh; going to man, instead of going to the lord at once. to come to this conclusion before god, required more grace than to give up my salary. about the same time also my wife and i had grace given to us to take the lord's commandment, "sell that ye have, and give alms," luke xii. , literally, and to carry it out. our staff and support in this matter were matthew vi. - , john xiv. , . we leaned on the arm of the lord jesus. it is now fifty-one years, since we set out in this way, and we do not in the least regret the step we then took. our god also has, in his tender mercy, given us grace to abide in the same mind concerning the above points, both as it regards principle and practice; and this has been the means of letting us see the tender love and care of our god over his children, even in the most minute things, in a way in which we never experimentally knew them before; and it has, in particular, made the lord known to us more fully than we knew him before, as a prayer hearing god. as i have written down how the lord has been pleased to deal with us since, i shall be able to relate some facts concerning this matter, as far as they may tend to edification. extracts from my journal. nov. th, .--our money was reduced to about eight shillings. when i was praying with my wife in the morning, the lord brought to my mind the state of our purse, and i was led to ask him for some money. about four hours after, we were with a sister at bishopsteignton, and she said to me, "do you want any money?" "i told the brethren," said i, "dear sister, when i gave up my salary, that i would for the future tell the lord only about my wants." she replied, "but he has told me to give you some money. about a fortnight ago i asked him, what i should do for him, and he told me to give you some money; and last saturday it came again powerfully to my mind, and has not left me since, and i felt it so forcibly last night, that i could not help speaking of it to brother p." my heart rejoiced, seeing the lord's faithfulness, but i thought it better not to tell her about our circumstances, lest she should be influenced to give accordingly; and i also was assured, that, if it were of the lord, she could not but give. i therefore turned the conversation to other subjects, but when i left she gave me two guineas. we were full of joy on account of the goodness of the lord.--i would call upon the reader to admire the gentleness of the lord, that he did not try our faith much at the commencement, but gave us first encouragement, and allowed us to see his willingness to help us, before he was pleased to try it more fully. the next wednesday i went to exmouth, our money having then again been reduced to about nine shillings. i asked the lord on thursday, when at exmouth, to be pleased to give me some money. on friday morning, about eight o'clock, whilst in prayer, i was particularly led to ask again for money; and before i rose from my knees i had the fullest assurance, that we should have the answer that very day. about nine o'clock i left the brother with whom i was staying, and he gave me half a sovereign, saying, "take this for the expenses connected with your coming to us." i did not expect to have my expenses paid, but i saw the lord's fatherly hand in sending me this money within one hour after my asking him for some. but even then i was so fully assured that the lord would send more that very day, or had done so already, that, when i came home about twelve o'clock, i asked my wife whether she had received any letters. she told me she had received one the day before from a brother in exeter, with three sovereigns. thus even my prayer on the preceding day had been answered. the next day one of the brethren came and brought me £ ., which was due to me of my former salary, but which i could never have expected, as i did not even know that this sum was due to me. thus i received, within thirty hours, in answer to prayer, £ . s. in the commencement of december i went to collumpton, where i preached several times, and likewise in a neighbouring village. in driving home from the village late at night, our driver lost his way. as soon as we found out our mistake, being then near a house, it struck me that the hand of god was in this matter; and having awakened the people of the house, i offered a man something if he would be kind enough to bring us into the right road. i now walked with the man before the gig, and conversed with him about the things of god, and soon found out that he was an awful backslider. may god, in mercy, bless the word spoken to him, and may we learn from this circumstance, that we have to ask on such occasions, why the lord has allowed such and such things to happen to us.--since the publication of the first edition, one day, about eight years after this circumstance had happened, the individual who drove me that night introduced himself to me as a believer, and told me that on that evening he received his first impressions under the preaching of the word. the missing of the right road may have been connected with his state of mind. may i and my fellow-labourers in the gospel be encouraged by this, patiently to continue to sow the seed, though only after eight years or more we should see the fruit of it. i only add, that up to that time, the individual had been a very dissipated young man, who caused his believing parents very much grief. their love led them to convey me and my wife to this village and back again, and truly the lord gave them a reward in doing so. between christmas and the new year, when our money was reduced to a few shillings, i asked the lord for more; when a few hours after there was given to us a sovereign by a brother from axminster. this brother had heard much against me, and was at last determined to hear for himself, and thus came to teignmouth, a distance of forty miles; and having heard about our manner of living, gave us this money. with this closes the year . throughout it the lord richly supplied all my temporal wants, though at the commencement of it i had no certain human prospect for one single shilling; so that, even as it regards temporal things, i had not been in the smallest degree a loser in acting according to the dictates of my conscience; and, as it regards spiritual things, the lord had indeed dealt bountifully with me, and led me on in many respects, and, moreover, had condescended to use me as an instrument in doing his work. on january th, th, and th, , i had repeatedly asked the lord for money, but received none. on the evening of january th i left my room for a few minutes, and was then tempted to distrust the lord, though he had been so gracious to us, in that he not only up to that day had supplied all our wants, but had given us also those answers of prayer, which have been in part just mentioned. i was so sinful, for about five minutes, as to think it would be of no use to trust in the lord in this way. i also began to say to myself, that i had perhaps gone too far in living in this way. but, thanks to the lord! this trial lasted but a few minutes. he enabled me again to trust in him, and satan was immediately confounded; for when i returned to my room (out of which i had not been absent ten minutes), the lord had sent deliverance. a sister in the lord, who resided at exeter, had come to teignmouth, and brought us £ . s.; so the lord triumphed, and our faith was strengthened. jan. . today, when we had again but a few shillings, £ . was given to us, which had been taken out of the box. i had, once for all, told the brethren, who had the care of these temporal things, to have the kindness to let me have the money every week; but as these beloved brethren either forgot to take it out weekly, or were ashamed to bring it in such small sums, it was generally taken out every three, four, or five weeks. as i had stated to them, however, from the commencement, that i desired to look neither to man nor the box, but to the living god, i thought it not right on my part, to remind them of my request to have the money weekly, lest it should hinder the testimony which i wished to give, of trusting in the living god alone. it was on this account that on january th, when we had again but little money, though i had seen the brethren on january the th open the box and take out the money, i would not ask the brother, in whose hands it was, to let me have it; but, standing in need of it, as our coals were almost gone, i asked the lord to incline his heart to bring it, and but a little time afterwards it was given to us, even £ . s. d. i would here mention, that since the time i began living in this way, i have been kept from speaking, either directly or indirectly, about my wants, at the time i was in need. but whilst i have refrained, and do still habitually refrain, from speaking to my fellow creatures about my wants at the time, i desire to speak well of the lord's goodness, after he has delivered me; not only in order that he thus may get glory, but also that the children of god may be encouraged to trust in him. on february th we had again very little money, and, whilst praying, i was led to ask the lord, graciously to supply our wants; and the instant that i rose from my knees, a brother gave me £ ., which had been taken out of the box. on march th i was again tempted to disbelieve the faithfulness of the lord, and though i was not miserable, still i was not so fully resting upon the lord, that i could triumph with joy. it was but one hour after, when the lord gave me another proof of his faithful love. a christian lady at teignmouth had been from home for some time, and on her return she brought from the sisters in the lord, with whom she had been staying, five sovereigns for us, with these words written in the paper;--"i was an hungered, and ye gave me meat; i was thirsty, and ye gave me drink. lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? the king shall answer and say unto them, "verily, verily, i say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." on march th i went to axminster, and preached in several places in that neighbourhood, besides holding a meeting at axminster. whilst staying there i was requested to preach at chard; but as i had never been away from teignmouth on the lord's day, i had to pray much, before i came to the conclusion to comply with the request. at last i had the fullest assurance that i ought to preach at chard. i have since heard that the lord used me in edifying the brethren, and through a general exhortation to all, to read the scriptures with earnestness, a woman was stirred up to do so, and this was the means of her conversion. as to myself, i had a most refreshing season. i mention this circumstance to show how important it is to ascertain the will of god, before we undertake any thing, because we are then not only blessed in our own souls, but also the work of our hands will prosper.--one of the brethren at chard forced a sovereign upon me, against the acceptance of which i strove much, lest it should appear as if i had preached for money. another would give me a paper with money. i refused it for the same reason. at last he put it by force into my pocket, and ran away. the paper contained s. d. april th. this morning i found that our money was reduced to s., and i said to myself, i must now go and ask the lord earnestly for fresh supplies. but before i had prayed, there was sent from exeter £ , as a proof that the lord hears before we call. i would observe here, by the way, that if any of the children of god should think that such a mode of living leads away from the lord, and from caring about spiritual things, and has the effect of causing the mind to be taken up with the question, what shall i eat? what shall i drink?--and wherewithal shall i be clothed? and that on that account it would be much better to have a stated salary, particularly for one who labours in the word and doctrine, in order that he may be above these cares; i say, should any believer think so, i would request him, prayerfully to consider the following remarks:-- . i have had experience of both ways, and know that my present mode of living, as to temporal things, is connected with less care. . confidence in the lord, to whom alone i look for the supply of my temporal wants, keeps me, at least whilst faith is in exercise, when a case of distress comes before me, or when the lord's work calls for my pecuniary aid, from anxious reckoning like this: will my salary last out? shall i have enough myself the next month? &c. in this my freedom, i am, by the grace of god, generally at least, able to say to myself something like this:--my lord is not limited; he can again supply; he knows that this present case has been sent to me; and thus, this way of living, so far from leading to anxiety, as it regards possible future want, is rather the means of keeping from it. and truly it was once said to me by an individual,--you can do such and such things, and need not to lay by, for the church in the whole of devonshire cares about your wants. my reply was: the lord can use not merely any of the saints throughout devonshire, but those throughout the world, as instruments to supply my temporal wants. . this way of living has often been the means of reviving the work of grace in my heart, when i have been getting cold; and it also has been the means of bringing me back again to the lord, after i have been backsliding. for it will not do,--it is not possible, to live in sin, and, at the same time, by communion with god, to draw down from heaven every thing one needs for the life that now is. . frequently, too, a fresh answer to prayer, obtained in this way, has been the means of quickening my soul, and filling me with much joy. about april th i went to chumleigh. here and in the neighbourhood i preached repeatedly, and from thence i went to barnstaple. whilst we were at barnstaple, there was found in my wife's bag a sovereign, put there anonymously. a sister also gave us £ . on our return to teignmouth, may , when we emptied our travelling bag, there fell out a paper with money. it contained two sovereigns and threepence, the latter put in, no doubt, to make a noise in emptying the bag. may the lord bless and reward the giver! in a similar way we found s. put anonymously into one of our drawers, a few days after. june . having prayed much on the previous days, that, when we wanted money, the lord would be pleased to send some, today, after i had again asked for it, a poor sister brought half a sovereign, s. from herself, and s. from another very poor sister. this is not only a fresh proof that the lord hears prayer, but also that he sends by whom he will. our money had been reduced to s. june . lord's day. on thursday last i went with brother craik to torquay, to preach there. i had only about s. with me and left my wife with about s. at home. the lord provided beds for us through the hospitality of a brother. i asked the lord repeatedly for money; but when i came home my wife had only about s. left, having received nothing. we waited still upon the lord. yesterday passed away, and no money came. we had d. left. this morning we were still waiting upon the lord, and looking for deliverance. we had only a little butter left for breakfast, sufficient for brother e. and a relative living with us, to whom we did not mention our circumstances, that they might not be made uncomfortable. after the morning meeting, brother y. most unexpectedly opened the box, and, in giving me quite as unexpectedly the money at such a time, he told me that he and his wife could not sleep last night on account of thinking that we might want money. the most striking point is, that, after i had repeatedly asked the lord, but received nothing, i then prayed yesterday, that the lord would be pleased to impress it on brother y. that we wanted money, so that he might open the box. there was in it £ . s. / d. our joy on account of this fresh deliverance was great, and we praised the lord heartily. june . brother craik called on us today, and he then had only / d. left. a few minutes after, he received: a sum of money, and in returning to us on his way home, he gave us s., when we had but s. left. july . a shoulder of mutton and a loaf were sent to us anonymously.--i understood some time afterwards, that satan had raised the false report that we were starving, in consequence of which a believer sent these provisions. i would mention by the way, that various reports have been circulated, on account of this our way of living. sometimes it has been said that we had not enough to eat, and that surely such and such an infirmity of body we had brought on us, because we had not the necessaries of life. now, the truth is, that, whilst we have been often brought low; yea, so low, that we have not had even as much as one single penny left; or so as to have the last bread on the table, and not as much money as was needed to buy another loaf;--yet never have we had to sit down to a meal, without our good lord having provided nourishing food for us. i am bound to state this, and i do it with pleasure. my master has been a kind master to me, and if i had to choose this day again, as to the way of living, the lord giving me grace, i would not choose differently. but even these very reports, false as they were, i doubt not the lord has sometimes used as a means, to put it into the hearts of his children, to remember our temporal necessities. about july th i preached several times at collumpton, and in a neighbouring village, in the open air. my experience as it regards preaching in the open air has been very different from what i might have expected. i have often preached out of doors, and but once has it been blessed, as far as i know, and that was in the case of an officer in the army, who came to make sport of it; whilst almost in every place, if not in every place, where i have preached in rooms or chapels, the lord has given testimony to the word. perhaps the lord has not been pleased to let me see fruit from this part of my work, though i have been many times engaged in it; or it may be, that, because i did not pray so earnestly respecting my out-door preaching as respecting my in-door preaching, the former has not been so much blessed as the latter. but this testimony i cannot but bear, that, though i do not consider it at present my work, on account of want of bodily strength, yet it is a most important work, and i should delight in being so honoured now, as to be allowed to be engaged in it. august . after extreme suffering, which lasted about seventeen hours, my wife was this day delivered of a still-born child.--who of my readers would suppose, that whilst i was so abundantly blessed by god, and that in so many respects, my heart should have been again many times during several months previous to this day, cold, wretched, carnal? how long-suffering is the lord! repeatedly, during this time, i could let hours run on, after i had risen in the morning, before i prayed; at least, before i retired for prayer. and at that time when i appeared most zealous for god, perhaps more so than at any time before or since, i was often far from being in a spiritual state. i was not now, indeed, indulging in gross outward sins, which could be noticed by my brethren; but often--very often, the eye of my kind loving father must have looked on me with much grief. on this account, i have no doubt, the lord now, in great compassion, sent this heavy blow. i had not seriously thought of the great danger connected with childbearing, and therefore had never earnestly prayed about it. now came this solemn time. the life of my dear wife was hanging, as it were, on a thread, and, in the midst of it, my conscience told me, that my state of heart made such a chastisement needful. yet, at the same time, i was much supported.--when the child was still-born, i saw almost immediately afterwards, that this could not have been expected otherwise, for i had not looked on the prospect of having a child as on a blessing, which i was about to receive from god, but rather considered it as a burden and a hindrance in the lord's work; for i did not know then, that, whilst a wife and children may be in certain respects, on the one hand, a hindrance to the servant of christ, they also may fit him, on the other hand, for certain parts of his work, in teaching him things which are important to be known, especially for the pastoral work. the lord now brought, in addition to this, very great sufferings upon my beloved wife, which lasted for six weeks, combined with a partial lameness of the left side.--immediately after the eventful time of august th and th, the lord brought me, in his tender mercy, again into a spiritual state of heart, so that i was enabled to look on this chastisement as a great blessing. may this my experience be a warning to believing readers, that the lord may not need to chastise them, on account of their state of heart! may it also be a fresh proof to them, that the lord, in his very love and faithfulness, will not, and cannot let us go on in backsliding, but that he will visit us with stripes, to bring us back to himself! there was one point, however, in which, by grace, i had continued to be faithful to god, i.e. in my mode of living, and, therefore, in as far as i had been faithfully sowing, i now reaped abundantly; for the lord most graciously supplied, in rich abundance, all our temporal wants, though they were many. another reason for this may have been, that the lord never lays more on us, in the way of chastisement, than our state of heart makes needful; so that whilst he smites with the one hand, he supports with the other.--we saw it to be against the lord's mind to put by any money for my wife's confinement, though we might have, humanly speaking, very easily saved £ . or £ . during the six months previous to august th. i say, humanly speaking, and judging from what we had received during all these months, we might have laid by as much as the above sums; but i have every reason to believe, that, had i begun to lay up, the lord would have stopped the supplies, and thus, the ability of doing so was only apparent. let no one profess to trust in god, and yet lay up for future wants, otherwise the lord will first send him to the hoard he has amassed, before he can answer the prayer for more. we were persuaded, that, if we laid out our money in the lord's service, he would send more when we needed it; and this our faith, his own gift, he graciously honoured, inasmuch as he not merely gave us what we needed, but much more. on august th, just before this time of need, the lord sent us £ . from a distance of about forty miles, and that from a sister, whom, up to this day, neither of us know personally. on august th i received £ . s. / d. out of the box. august th, from a distance of twenty-five miles was sent £ ., and from a distance of about seventy miles £ . august th, whilst preaching at chudleigh, £ . was sent to me, and a brother sent from exeter £ . august st was again sent from a distance of seventy miles £ ., and august rd another £ . from the same place. also, august nd, s. d. was given out of the box. august th, a brother, who is a day labourer, gave me s. d. august st, s. was given to me. september rd, whilst preaching at chudleigh, £ . s. was given to me by a brother and three sisters. september th, a sister gave me a guinea, and also out of the box was given s. d. september th, £ . was given to me. thus, within about one month, the lord not only sent us nearly £ ., but likewise all sorts of suitable provisions and refreshments, needful at such a time; and, in addition to this, the two medical gentlemen who attended my wife would not take any remuneration for their unwearied attention and kindness, during the space of six weeks. thus the lord gave us even more than we could have saved, if we had endeavoured to do so. november th. this morning i proposed united prayer respecting our temporal wants. just as we were about to pray, a parcel came from exmouth. in prayer we asked the lord for meat for dinner, having no money to buy any. after prayer, on opening the parcel, we found, among other things, a ham, sent by a brother at exmouth, which served us for dinner. thus not only our own family was provided for, but also a sister in the lord then staying with us. november th. today we had not a single penny left. we had asked the lord yesterday and today. we desired only enough money to be able to buy bread. we were reduced more than ever we had been before. but our gracious and faithful lord, who never lays more upon his children than he enables them to bear, delivered us again this time, by sending us £ . s. d., about an hour before we wanted money to buy bread. november th. we had not enough to pay our weekly rent; but the lord graciously sent us again today s. d. i would just observe, that we never contract debts, which we believe to be unscriptural (according to romans xiii. ;) and therefore we have no bills with our tailor, shoemaker, grocer, butcher, baker, &c.; but all we buy we pay for in ready money. the lord helping us, we would rather suffer privation, than contract debts. thus we always know how much we have, and how much we have a right to give away. may i entreat the believing reader, prayerfully to consider this matter; for i am well aware that many trials come upon the children of god, on account of not acting according to rom. xiii. . november th, lord's day. our money had been reduced to / d.; our bread was hardly enough for this day. i had several times brought our need before the lord. after dinner, when i returned thanks, i asked him to give us our daily bread, meaning literally that he would send us bread for the evening. whilst i was praying, there was a knock at the door of the room. after i had concluded, a poor sister came in, and brought us some of her dinner, and from another poor sister, s. in the afternoon she also brought us a large loaf. thus the lord not only literally gave us bread, but also money. in reading about all these answers to prayer, the believing reader may be led to think that i am spiritually minded above most of the children of god, and that, therefore, the lord favours us thus. the true reason is this. just in as many points as we are acting according to the mind of god, in so many are we blessed and made a blessing. our manner of living is according to the mind of the lord, for he delights in seeing his children thus come to him (matt. vi.); and therefore, though i am weak and erring in many points, yet he blesses me in this particular, and, i doubt not, will bless me, as long as he shall enable me to act according to his will in this matter. after we had, on december st, , looked over the lord's gracious dealings with us during the past year, in providing for all our temporal wants, we had about s. left. a little while after, the providence of god called for that, so that not a single farthing remained. thus we closed the old year, in which the lord had been so gracious in giving to us, without our asking any one:-- . through the instrumentality of the box, £ . s.-- . from brethren of the church at teignmouth, in presents of money, £ . s. d. . from brethren living at teignmouth and elsewhere, not connected with the church at teignmouth, £ . s. d. altogether, £ . s. d. there had been likewise many articles of provision and some articles of clothing given to us, worth at least £ . i am so particular in mentioning these things, to show that we are never losers by acting according to the mind of the lord. for had i had my regular salary, humanly speaking, i should not have had nearly as much; but whether this would have been the case or not, this is plain, that i have not served a hard master, and that is what i delight to show. for, to speak well of his name, that thus my beloved fellow-pilgrims, who may read this, may be encouraged to trust in him, is the chief purpose of my writing. we had now in the new year to look up to our kind father for new mercies, and during the year also we found him as faithful and compassionate as before, not laying more on us than he enabled us to bear, though space will only permit me to mention a few particulars. january , . we had been again repeatedly asking the lord today and yesterday to supply our temporal wants, having no means to pay our weekly rent; and this evening, as late as eleven o'clock, a brother gave us s. d., a proof that the lord is not limited to time. january . the lord has again graciously fed us today. we have d. left, some bread, rice, meat, potatoes, and other good things, and, above all, the lord jesus. he who has provided will provide. january . this morning we had nothing but dry bread with our tea; only the second time since we have been living by simple faith upon jesus for temporal supplies. we have more than £ . of ready money in the house for two bills, which will not be payable for several weeks; but we do not consider this money to be our own, and would rather suffer great privation, god helping us, than take of it. i thank the lord, who gives me grace to be more faithful in these matters than i used to be formerly, when i would have taken of it, and said, that by the time the money was actually due, i should be able to replace it. we were looking to our father, and he has not suffered us to be disappointed. for when now we had but d. left, and only a small piece of bread, we received s. and s., the particulars concerning which would take up too much space. february . this afternoon i broke a blood vessel in my stomach, and lost a considerable quantity of blood. i was very happy immediately afterwards. february . this morning, lord's day, two brethren called on me, to ask me what arrangement there should be made today, as it regarded the four villages, where some of the brethren were in the habit of preaching, as, on account of my not being able to preach, one of the brethren would need to stay at home to take my place. i asked them, kindly to come again in about an hour, when i would give them an answer. after they were gone, the lord gave me faith to rise. i dressed myself, and determined to go to the chapel. i was enabled to do so, though so weak when i went, that walking the short distance to the chapel was an exertion to me. i was enabled to preach this morning with as loud and strong a voice as usual, and for the usual length of time. after the morning meeting, a medical friend called on me, and entreated me not to preach again in the afternoon, as it might greatly injure me. i told him, that i should indeed consider it great presumption to do so, had the lord not given me faith. i preached again in the afternoon, and this medical friend called again, and said the same concerning the evening meeting. nevertheless, having faith, i preached again in the evening. after each meeting i became stronger, which was a plain proof that the hand of god was in the matter. after the third meeting i went immediately to bed, considering that it would be presumption to try my strength needlessly. february . the lord enabled me to rise early in the morning, and to go to our usual prayer-meeting, where i read, spoke, and prayed. afterwards i wrote four letters, expounded the scriptures at home, and attended the meeting again in the evening. february . i attended the two meetings as usual, preached in the evening, and did my other work besides. february . today i attended the meeting in the morning, walked afterwards six miles with two brethren to newton bushel, and rode from thence to plymouth: february . i am now as well as i was before i broke the blood vessel.--in relating the particulars of this circumstance i would earnestly warn every one who may read this, not to imitate me in such a thing if he has no faith; but if he has, it will, as good coin, most assuredly be honoured by god. i could not say, that, if such a thing should happen again, i would act in the same way; for when i have been not nearly so weak as when i had broken the blood-vessel, having no faith, i did not preach; yet if it were to please the lord to give me faith, i might be able to do the same, though even still weaker than at the time just spoken of. about this time i repeatedly prayed with sick believers till they were restored. unconditionally i asked the lord for the blessing of bodily health, (a thing which i could not do now), and almost always had the petition granted. in some instances, however, the prayer was not answered. in the same way, whilst in london, nov. , in answer to my prayers, i was immediately restored from a bodily infirmity under which i had been labouring for a long time, and which has never returned since. the way in which i now account for these facts is as follows. it pleased the lord, i think, to give me in such cases something like the gift (not grace) of faith, so that unconditionally i could ask and look for an answer. the difference between the gift and the grace of faith seems to me this. according to the gift of faith i am able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, the not doing of which, or the not believing of which would not be sin; according to the grace of faith i am able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, respecting which i have the word of god as the ground to rest upon, and, therefore, the not doing it, or the not believing it would be sin. for instance, the gift of faith would be needed, to believe that a sick person should be restored again though there is no human probability: for there is no promise to that effect; the grace of faith is needed to believe that the lord will give me the necessaries of life, if i first seek the kingdom of god and his righteousness: for there is a promise to that effect." matt. vi. march . these two days we have not been able to purchase meat. the sister in whose house we lodge gave us today part of her dinner. we are still looking to jesus for deliverance. we want money to pay the weekly rent and to buy provisions. march . our landlady sent again of her meat for our dinner. we have but a halfpenny left. i feel myself very cold in asking for money: still i hope for deliverance, though i do not see whence money is to come. we were not able to buy bread today as usual. march . this has been again a day of very great mercies. in the morning we met round our breakfast which the lord had provided for us, though we had not a single penny left. the last half-penny was spent for milk. we were then still looking to jesus for fresh supplies. we both had no doubt that the lord would interfere. i felt it a trial that i had but little earnestness in asking the lord, and had this not been the case, perhaps we might have had our wants sooner supplied. we have about £ . in the house; but considering it no longer our own, the lord kept us from taking of it, with the view of replacing what we had taken, as formerly i might have done. the meat which was sent yesterday for our dinner, was enough also for today. thus the lord had provided another meal. two sisters called upon us about noon, who gave us two pounds of sugar, one pound of coffee, and two cakes of chocolate. whilst they were with us, a poor sister came and brought s. from herself, and s. d. from another poor sister. our landlady also sent us again of her dinner, and also a loaf. our bread would scarcely have been enough for tea, had the lord not thus graciously provided. in the afternoon the same sister who brought the money, brought us also from another sister, one pound of butter and s., and from another sister s. thus the lord graciously has again answered our feeble and cold breathings. lord, strengthen our faith. march . i went to shaldon this morning. brother craik has left for bristol for four weeks. i think he will only return to take leave, and that the lord will give him work there. [what a remarkable presentiment, which came to pass, concerning my beloved brother and fellow-labourer!] april . besides our own family, there are now four visitors staying with us, and we have but s. april . four pounds of cheese, and one pound of butter were sent to us. april . anonymously was sent to us, from plymouth, a large ham, with two sovereigns tied in the corner of the cloth in which the ham was wrapped up. thus the lord, once more, in this our time of need, when our expenses are double, has graciously appeared for us. april . i have again felt much this day that teignmouth is no longer my place, and that i shall leave it. i would observe that in august of the preceding year ( ), i began greatly to feel as if my work at teignmouth were done, and that i should go somewhere else. on writing about this to a friend, i was led, from the answer i received, to consider the matter more maturely, and at last had it settled in this way, that it was not likely to be of god, because, for certain reasons, i should naturally have liked to leave teignmouth. afterwards i felt quite comfortable in remaining there. in the commencement of the year i began again much to doubt whether teignmouth was my place, or whether my gift was not much more that of going about from place to place, seeking to bring believers back to the scriptures, than to stay in one place and to labour as a pastor. i thought so particularly whilst at plymouth, in february. on my return, however, i resolved to try whether it were not the will of god that i should still give myself to pastoral work among the brethren at teignmouth; and, with more earnestness and faithfulness than ever, i was enabled to attend to this work, and was certainly much refreshed and blessed in it; and i saw immediately blessings result from it. this my experience seemed more than ever to settle me at teignmouth. but notwithstanding this, the impression that my work was done there, came back after some time, as the remark in my journal of april th shows, and it became stronger and stronger. there was one point remarkable in connexion with this. wherever i went, i preached with much more enjoyment and power than at teignmouth, the very reverse of which had been the case on my first going there. moreover, almost every where i had many more hearers than at teignmouth, and found the people hungering after food, which, generally speaking, was no longer the case at teignmouth. april . i asked the lord for a text, but obtained none. at last; after having again much felt that teignmouth is not my place, i was directed to isaiah li. - . april . felt again much that teignmouth will not much longer be my residence. april . still feel the impression that teignmouth is no longer my place. april . found a letter from brother craik, from bristol, on my return from torquay, where i had been to preach. he invites me to come and help him. it appears to me from what he writes, that such places as bristol more suit my gifts. o lord, teach me! i have felt this day more than ever, that i shall soon leave teignmouth. i fear, however, there is much connected with it which savours of the flesh, and that makes me fearful. it seems to me as if i should shortly go to bristol, if the lord permit. april . wrote a letter to brother craik, in which i said i should come, if i clearly saw it to be the lord's will. have felt again very much today, yea, far more than ever, that i shall soon leave teignmouth. at last i was pressed in spirit to determine that tomorrow i would tell the brethren so, in order that by the result of this i might see more of the lord's mind; and that, at all events, i might have their prayers, to be directed in this matter by the lord. april . lord's day. this evening i preached again once more, as fully as time would permit, on the lord's second coming. after having done so, i told the brethren what effect this doctrine had had upon me, on first receiving it, even to determine me to leave london, and to preach throughout the kingdom; but that the lord had kept me chiefly at teignmouth for these two years and three months, and that it seemed to me now that the time was near when i should leave them. i reminded them of what i told them when they requested me to take the oversight of them, that i could make no certain engagement, but stay only so long with them as i should see it to be the lord's will to do so. there was much weeping afterwards. but i am now again in peace. [this would not have been the case, had the matter not been of god. i knew of no place to go to. my mind was much directed to torquay, to preach there for a month or so, and then to go further. for though i had written that i would come to bristol, i meant only to stay there for a few days, and to preach a few times.] april . this morning i am still in peace. i am glad i have spoken to the brethren, that they may be prepared, in case the lord should take me away.--having again little money, and being about to leave teignmouth for several days, i asked the lord for a fresh supply, and within about four hours afterwards he sent me, from six different quarters, £ . s. d. i left today for dartmouth, where i preached in the evening.--there was much weeping today among the saints at teignmouth. this is already a trial to me, and it will be still more so should i actually leave.--it is a most important work to go about and stir up the churches; but it requires much grace, much self-denial, much saying over the same things, and the greatest watchfulness and faithfulness, in making use of one's time for prayer, meditation, and reading the scriptures.--i had five answers to prayer today. . i awoke at five, for which i had asked the lord last evening. . the lord removed from my dear wife an indisposition, under which she had been suffering. it would have been trying to me to have had to leave her in that state. . the lord sent us money. . there was a place vacant on the dartmouth coach, which only passes through teignmouth. . this evening i was assisted in preaching, and my own soul refreshed. april . i preached again at dartmouth. april . i am still at dartmouth. i wrote to brother craik, that, the lord willing, i should be with him at bristol on the st. i preached again this evening, with especial assistance, before a large congregation. april . i awoke early, and had a good while to myself for prayer and reading the word, and left happy in spirit for torquay, where i preached in the evening with much help. the brethren are sorry, that, on account of my going to bristol, my regular weekly preaching will be given up there for a while. i walked home after preaching, and arrived at teignmouth at twelve o'clock. april . i left this morning for bristol. i preached with little power (as to my own feeling) in exeter, from three till half-past four. at five i left for taleford, where i preached in the evening, likewise with little power. i was very tired in body, and had had therefore little prayer. but still, in both places, the believers seemed refreshed. i went to bed at eleven, very, very tired. april . this morning i rose a little before five, and attended a prayer meeting from a quarter past five, to a quarter past six. i spoke for some time at the meeting. afterwards i prayed and read again with some believers, and likewise expounded the scriptures. the bristol coach took me up about ten. i was very faithless on the journey. i did not speak a single word for christ, and was therefore wretched in my soul. this has shown me again my weakness. though the lord had been so gracious to me yesterday, in this particular, both on my way from teignmouth to exeter, and from exeter to taleford, and had given me much encouragement, in that he made my fellow-travellers either thankfully to receive the word, or constrained them quietly to listen to the testimony; yet i did not confess him today. nor did i give away a single tract, though i had my pockets full on purpose. o wretched man that i am! i would offer here a word of warning to my fellow-believers. often the work of the lord itself may be a temptation to keep us from that communion with him which is so essential to the benefit of our own souls.--on the th i had left dartmouth, conversed a good deal that day, preached in the evening, walked afterwards eight miles, had only about five hours sleep, traveled again the next day twenty-five miles, preached twice, and conversed very much besides, went to bed at eleven, and rose before five. all this shows that my body and spirit required rest, and, therefore, however careless about the lord's work i might have appeared to my brethren, i ought to have had a great deal of quiet time for prayer and reading the word, especially as i had a long journey before me that day, and as i was going to bristol, which in itself required much prayer. instead of this, i hurried to the prayer meeting after a few minutes' private prayer. but let none think that public prayer will make up for closet communion. then again, afterwards, when i ought to have withdrawn myself, as it were, by force, from the company of beloved brethren and sisters, and given my testimony for the lord (and, indeed, it would have been the best testimony i could have given them), by telling them that i needed secret communion with the lord: i did not do so, but spent the time, till the coach came, in conversation with them. now, however profitable in some respects it may have been to those with whom i was on that morning, yet my own soul needed food; and not having had it, i was lean, and felt the effects of it the whole day, and hence i believe it came that i was dumb on the coach. april . this morning i preached at gideon chapel, bristol. [though this sermon gave rise to false reports, yet the lord was pleased to bless it to several; and the false reports were likewise instrumental in bringing many individuals under the sound of the word.] in the afternoon i preached at the pithay chapel. [this sermon was a blessing to many, many souls; and many were brought through it, to come afterwards to hear brother craik and me. among others it was the means of converting a young man who was a notorious drunkard, and who was just again on his way to a public house, when an acquaintance of his met him, and asked him to go with him to hear a foreigner preach. he did so; and from that moment he was so completely altered, that he never again went to a public house, and was so happy in the lord afterwards that he often neglected his supper, from eagerness to read the scriptures, as his wife told me. he died about five months afterwards.] this evening i was much instructed in hearing brother craik preach. i am now fully persuaded that bristol is the place where the lord will have me to labour. april . this evening i preached again with much assistance at gideon. i was very happy. [the lord made this testimony a blessing to several.] i feel that bristol is my place for a while. the lord mercifully teach me! april . it seems to brother craik and myself the lord's will that we should go home next week, in order that in quietness, without being influenced by what we see here, we may more inquire into the lord's will concerning us. it especially appears to us much more likely that we should come to a right conclusion among the brethren and sisters in devonshire, whose tears we shall have to witness, and whose entreaties to stay with them we shall have to hear, than here in bristol, where we see only those who wish us to stay. some asked me to stay with them while brother craik goes home. but it seems better that we should both go. [i observe here, it was evident that many preferred my beloved brother's gifts to my own; yet, as he would not come, except i came with him: and as i knew that i also had been called by the lord for the ministry of the word, i knew that i also should find my work in bristol, and that though it might be a different one, yet i should fill up in some measure his lack, whilst he supplied my deficiencies; and that thus we might both be a benefit to the church and to the world in bristol. the result has evidently confirmed this. i am, moreover, by the grace of god, strengthened to rejoice in my fellow-labourer's honour, instead of envying him; having, in some measure, been enabled to enter into the meaning of that word: "a man can receive nothing, except it be given him from above."] april . it still seems to us the lord's will that we should both leave soon, to have quiet time for prayer concerning bristol. this afternoon i felt the want of retirement, finding afresh, that the society of brethren cannot make up for communion with the lord. i spent about three hours over the word and in prayer, this evening, which has been a great refreshment to my inner man. april . i preached this morning with much outward power, but with little inward enjoyment, on rev. iii. - . [as it afterwards appeared, that testimony was blessed to many, though i lacked enjoyment in my own soul. may this be an encouragement to those who labour in word and doctrine!] this afternoon brother craik preached in a vessel called the clifton ark, fitted up for a chapel. in the evening i preached in the same vessel. [these testimonies also god greatly honoured, and made them the means of afterwards bringing several, who then heard us, to our meeting places. how did god bless us in everything we took into our hands! how was he with us, and how did he help us, thereby evidently showing that he himself had sent us to this city!] brother craik preached this evening at gideon for the last time previous to our going. the aisles, the pulpit stairs, and the vestry were filled, and multitudes went away on account of the want of room. april . it was most affecting to take leave of the dear children of god, dozens pressing us to return soon, many with tears in their eyes. the blessing which the lord has given to our ministry, seems to be very great. we both see it fully the lord's will to come here, though we do not see under what circumstances. a brother has promised to take bethesda chapel for us, and to be answerable for the payment of the rent: so that thus we should have two large chapels.-i saw, again, two instances today, in which my preaching has been blessed. may . brother craik and i left this morning for devonshire. may . i preached this evening at bishopsteignton, and told the brethren, that, the lord willing, i should soon leave them. may . i saw several of the brethren today, and felt so fully assured that it is the lord's will that i should go to bristol, that i told them so. this evening i had a meeting with the three deacons, when i told them plainly about it; asking them, if they see any thing wrong in me concerning this matter, to tell me of it. they had nothing to say against it; yea, though much wishing me to stay, they were convinced themselves that my going is of god. may . i saw again several brethren today, and told them about my intention to go to bristol. there is much sorrowing and sighing, but it does not move me in the least, though i desire to sympathize with them. i am still fully persuaded that the lord will have us go to bristol. may . one other striking proof to my mind, that my leaving teignmouth is of god, is, that some truly spiritual believers, though they much wish me to stay, themselves see that i ought to go to bristol. may . having received a letter from bristol on may th, it was answered today in such a way that the lord may have another opportunity, to prevent our going thither, if it be not of him. especially we will not move a single stone out of the way in our own strength, and much less still be guilty of a want of openness and plainness, nor would we wish by such means to obtain bethesda chapel. may . the lord seems to try us about bristol. there was reason to expect a letter the day before yesterday, but none came; also today there is no letter. even this is very good for us. yea, i do wish most heartily that we may not have bethesda chapel, if it be not good for us. may . just when i was in prayer concerning bristol, i was sent for to come to brother craik. two letters had arrived from bristol. the brethren assembling at gideon accept our offer to come under the conditions we have made, i.e., for the present to consider us only as ministering among them, but not in any fixed pastoral relationship, so that we may preach as we consider it to be according to the mind of god, without reference to any rules among them; that the pew-rents should be done away with and that we should go on, respecting the supply of our temporal wants, as in devonshire. we intend, the lord willing, to leave in about a week, though there is nothing settled respecting bethesda chapel. may . i preached for the last time at bishopsteignton, and took leave of the brethren. may . i went to exmouth, and, after preaching, took leave of the brethren. may . i began today to take leave of the brethren at teignmouth, calling on each of them. in the evening i went over to shaldon to take leave of the brethren, of whom brother craik has had the oversight. it has been a trying day. much weeping on the part of the saints. were i not so fully persuaded that it is the will of god we should go to bristol, i should have been hardly able to bear it. may . the brethren at shaldon and teignmouth say, that they expect us soon back again. as far as i understand the way in which god deals with his children, this seems very unlikely. in every respect we have seen the lord's goodness, and all proves that it is his will that we should go to bristol. this full persuasion has helped me to withstand all the tears of the saints. towards the evening the lord, after repeated prayer, gave me col. i. - , as a text, for the last word of exhortation. it seemed to me best to speak as little as possible about myself, and as much as possible about christ. i scarcely alluded to our separation, and only commended myself and the brethren, in the concluding prayer, to the lord. the parting scenes are very trying, but my full persuasion is, that the separation is of the lord. may . my beloved wife, mr. groves, my father-in-law, and i left this morning for exeter. dear brother craik intends to follow us tomorrow. review of the time since i left london, up to my removal from teignmouth. i. all this time the lord never allowed me to regret the step i had taken, in separating from the society. ii. the results have most abundantly shown, that it was of god; for, by his help, , i have not lost in truth or grace since. , i have been in peace concerning the matter. , the lord made it a blessing to many souls. iii. during this period it pleased the lord, to convert, through my instrumentality, many souls at teignmouth, exmouth, bishopsteignton, exeter, chudleigh, in the neighbourhood of barnstaple, at chard, and elsewhere. the church at teignmouth increased from eighteen to fifty-one. iv. the lord most graciously supplied all my temporal wants during this period, so that i lacked no good thing. v. we had unexpectedly received, just before we left teignmouth, about £ ., else we should not have been able to defray all the expenses connected with leaving, traveling, &c. by this also the lord showed his mind concerning our going to bristol. vi. during these two years and five months, since i left london, i have sinned in many respects, though walking, it may be, in the eyes of the brethren, very near to god. indeed, my confession concerning this time also is, that i have been an unprofitable servant. the following record will now show to the believing reader how far, what i have said concerning my persuasion, that it was the will of god that we should go to bristol, has been proved by facts. may th, . this evening we arrived in bristol. may . this morning we received a sovereign, sent to us by a sister residing in devonshire, which we take as an earnest that the lord will provide for us here also. may . when we were going to speak to the brethren, who manage the temporal affairs of gideon chapel, about giving up the pew-rents, having all the seats free, and receiving the free-will offerings through a box, a matter which was not quite settled on their part, as brother craik and i had thought; we found that the lord had so graciously ordered this matter for us, that there was not the least objection on the part of these brethren. june . for several days we have been looking about for lodgings, but finding none plain and cheap enough, we were led to make this also a subject of earnest prayer; and now, immediately afterwards, the lord has given us such as are suitable. they are the plainest and cheapest we can find, but still too good for servants of jesus, as our master had not where to lay his head. we pay only s. a week for two sitting-rooms and three bedrooms, coals and attendance. it was particularly difficult to find cheap furnished lodgings, having five rooms in the same house, which we need, as brother craik and we live together. how good is the lord to have thus appeared for us, in answer to prayer, and what an encouragement to commit every thing to him in prayer! june . today we had already a testimony of a sinner having been converted by brother craik's instrumentality, on the first lord's day in april, simply through hearing the text read. [this aged sister lived eleven years afterwards, during which time her walk was according to the profession she made. she fell asleep in .] june . we have daily fresh encouragements, and fresh proofs that our being here is of god. june . we saw another instance of conversion through brother craik's instrumentality. june . today it was finally settled to take bethesda chapel for a twelvemonth, on condition that a brother at once paid the rent, with the understanding, that, if the lord shall bless our labours in that place, so that believers are gathered together in fellowship, he expects them to help him; but, if not, that he will pay all. this was the only way in which we could take the chapel; for we could not think it to be of god to have had this chapel, though there should have been every prospect of usefulness, if it had made us in any way debtors. we had tried to obtain a cheaper meeting-place, but could find none large enough to accommodate the hearers. july . today we commenced preaching at bethesda chapel. it was a good day. july . today we heard of the first cases of cholera in bristol. july . this evening, from six to nine o'clock, we had appointed for conversing at the vestry, one by one, with individuals, who wished to speak to us about their souls. there were so many, that we were engaged from six till twenty minutes past ten. these meetings we have continued ever since twice a week, or once a week, or once a fortnight, or once a month, as our strength and time allowed it, or as they seemed needed. we have found them beneficial in the following respects: . many persons, on account of timidity, would prefer coming at an appointed time to the vestry to converse with us, to calling on us in our own house. . the very fact of appointing a time for seeing people, to converse with them in private concerning the things of eternity, has brought some, who, humanly speaking, never would have called on us under other circumstances; yea, it has brought even those who, though they thought they were concerned about the things of god, yet were completely ignorant; and thus we have had an opportunity of speaking to them. . these meetings have also been a great encouragement to ourselves in the work, for often, when we thought that such and such expositions of the word had done no good at all, it was, through these meetings, found to be the reverse; and likewise, when our hands were hanging down, we have been afresh encouraged to go forward in the work of the lord, and to continue sowing the seed in hope, by seeing at these meetings fresh cases, in which the lord had condescended to use us as instruments, particularly as in this way instances have sometimes occurred in which individuals have spoken to us about the benefit which they derived from our ministry, not only a few months before, but even as long as two, three, and four years before. for the above reasons i would particularly recommend to other servants of christ, especially to those who live in large towns, if they have not already introduced a similar plan, to consider whether it may not be well for them also to set apart such times for seeing inquirers. those meetings, however, require much prayer, to be enabled to speak aright, to all those who come, according to their different need; and one is led continually to feel that one is not sufficient of one's self for these things, but that our sufficiency can be alone of god. these meetings also have been by far the most wearing out part of all our work, though at the same time the most refreshing. july . today i spent the whole morning in the vestry, to procure a quiet season. this has now for some time been the only way, on account of the multiplicity of engagements, to make sure of time for prayer, reading the word and meditation. july . i spent from half-past nine till one in the vestry, and had real communion with the lord. the lord be praised, who has put it into my mind to use the vestry for a place of retirement! august . when all our money was gone today, the lord again graciously supplied our wants. august . this afternoon, from two till after six, brother craik and i spent in the vestry, to see the inquirers. we have had again, in seeing several instances of blessing upon our labours, abundant reason brought before us to praise the lord for having sent us to bristol. august , . this evening one brother and four sisters united with brother craik and me in church fellowship at bethesda, without any rules, desiring only to act as the lord shall be pleased to give us light through his word. august . this day we set apart for prayer concerning the cholera, and had three meetings. august . this morning, from six to eight, we had a prayer meeting at gideon, on account of the cholera. between two and three hundred people were present. [we continued these meetings every morning, as long as the cholera raged in bristol, and afterwards changed them into prayer meetings for the church at large, so that we had them for about four months.] august . this morning a sister in the lord, within fifty yards of our lodging, was taken ill in the cholera, and died this afternoon. her husband, also a believer, has been attacked, and may be near death. the ravages of this disease are becoming daily more and more fearful. we have reason to believe that great numbers die daily in this city. who may be the next, god alone knows. i have never realised so much the nearness of death. except the lord keep us this night, we shall be no more in the land of the living tomorrow. just now, ten in the evening, the funeral bell is ringing, and has been ringing the greater part of this evening. it rings almost all the day. into thine hands, o lord, i commend myself! here is thy poor worthless child! if this night i should be taken in the cholera, my only hope and trust is in the blood of jesus christ, shed for the remission of all my many sins. i have been thoroughly washed in it, and the righteousness of god covers me.--as yet there have not been any of the saints, among whom brother craik and i labour, taken in the cholera. [only one of them fell asleep afterwards in consequence of this disease. i would observe, that though brother craik and i visited many cholera cases, by day and by night, yet the lord most graciously preserved us and our families from it.] september . this morning the lord, in addition to all his other mercies, has given us a little girl, who, with her mother, are doing well. september . on account of the birth of our little one, and brother craik's intended marriage, it is needful that we change our lodgings, as they will now be too small for us, because we shall want one room more. just when we were thinking about this, the house belonging to gideon chapel, which had been let for three years, was unexpectedly given up by the tenant, and it was now offered to us by the church. we said we could not think of going into it, as we had no furniture, and no money to buy any. the brother who proposed our going into that house, however, replied that the brethren would gladly furnish it for us, to which we objected, fearing it would burthen them. when, however, the matter was repeatedly mentioned, and when it was particularly expressed that it would be a pleasure to the brethren to furnish the house, we began to consider the subject in prayer, and we saw no scriptural objection to accept this kindness, provided the furniture was very plain. this was promised. the house was furnished, yet the love of the brethren had done it more expensively than we wished it. september . today an individual desired publicly to return thanks to the lord, for having been supported under the loss of a child, mother, brother, and wife, in the cholera, within one month. september . last night brother craik and i were called out of bed to a poor woman ill in the cholera. she was suffering intensely. we never saw a case so distressing. we could hardly say any thing to her on account of her loud cries. i felt as if the cholera was coming upon me. we commended ourselves into the hands of the lord when we came home, and he mercifully preserved us. the poor woman died today. oct. . a meeting for inquirers this afternoon from two to five. many more are convinced of sin through brother craik's preaching than my own. this circumstance led me to inquire into the reasons, which are probably these:-- . that brother craik is more spiritually minded than i am. . that he prays more earnestly for the conversion of sinners than i do. . that he more frequently addresses sinners, as such, in his public ministrations, than i do.--this led me to more frequent and earnest prayer for the conversion of sinners, and to address them more frequently as such. the latter had never been intentionally left undone, but it had not been so frequently brought to my mind as to that of brother craik. since then, the cases in which it has pleased the lord to use me as an instrument of conversion have been quite as many as those in which brother craik has been used. may the lord be pleased to use this as a means to lead any of his servants, who may not have acted according to these two last points, to seek to do so, and may he graciously enable me to do so more abundantly! october . this day we set apart as a day of thanksgiving, the cholera having decreased. oct. . prayer meeting this morning as usual. the cholera is very much decreasing, and the number at our morning prayer meetings likewise.--hundreds of people were stirred up at that time, but many of them, when the judgment of god had passed away, cared no longer about their souls. yet a goodly number, who were first led through the instrumentality of the cholera to seek the lord, are now breaking bread with us, and are walking in the fear of the lord. how merciful in its results has this heavy judgment been to many! january , . this morning we received letters from bagdad. the missionary brethren there invite brother craik and me to come and join them in their labours. the invitation was accompanied by drafts to the amount of £ ., for our traveling expenses. what wilt thou have me to do, gracious lord? i do not know what may be the lord's mind. there are points which ought to be much considered and prayed over: there are german villages not very far from bagdad, where i might labour; upon our going, that of certain other individuals may depend; the brethren at bagdad are of one mind respecting our going out; good may be done on the way; the going out without any visible support from a society, simply trusting in the lord for the supply of our temporal wants, would be a testimony for him; i have had for years a feeling as if one day i should go out as a missionary to the heathen or mahomedans; and lastly, the hands of the brethren at bagdad may be strengthened; these are the points, which must appear of no sufficient weight in comparison with the importance of our work here, before i can determine not to go. january . i considered with brother craik about going to bagdad. we see nothing clearly. if the lord will have me to go, here i am. january . i spent again some time in prayer, respecting our going to bagdad, and examined more fully into it. january . i had from half-past five till eight this morning to myself in prayer and reading the word. i prayed then, and repeatedly besides this day, respecting our going to bagdad. i wrote also a letter to some believers at and near barnstaple, to ask their prayers concerning this matter. i do not see more clearly than i did before. january . i again asked the lord concerning bagdad, but see nothing clearly respecting it. i told the lord i should stay at my post, unless he himself should most evidently take me away, and i did not feel afterwards my remaining here to be against his will. january . i feel more and more satisfied that it is not of the lord that i should go to bagdad. january . for some days past i have been reading brother groves' journal of his residence at bagdad, both for the sake of information respecting his position there, and also, if it please the lord, that he may use this as a means to show me clearly wether i should go or stay. blessed be his name that i have no desire of my own in this matter! [forty-seven years have since passed away, and i think i may say this day still, according to the best of my knowledge, i had no desire of my own in this matter; but i never saw it to be the lord's will to leave the work which he himself had so evidently given me.] february . i read a part of franke's life. the lord graciously help me to follow him, as far as he followed christ. the greater part of the lord's people whom we know in bristol are poor, and if the lord were to give us grace to live more as this dear man of god did, we might draw much more than we have as yet done out of our heavenly father's bank, for our poor brethren and sisters. may . today the two churches, assembling at gideon and bethesda, met together at tea.--these meetings we have often repeated, and found them profitable on several accounts. . they give a testimony to the world of the love of the brethren, by rich and poor meeting thus together to partake of a meal. . such meetings may be instrumental in uniting the saints more and more together. . they give us a sweet foretaste of our meeting together at the marriage supper of the lamb.--at these meetings we pray and sing together, and any brother has an opportunity to speak what may tend to the edification of the rest. may . this morning, whilst sitting in my room, the distress of several brethren and sisters was brought to my mind, and i said to myself, "oh that it might please the lord to give me means to help them!" about an hour afterwards i received £ . from a brother, whom up to this day i never saw, and who then lived, as he does still, at a distance of several thousand miles. this shows how the lord can provide in any way for his people, and that he is not confined to places. oh that my heart might overflow with gratitude to the lord! [since the first edition was printed, i have become personally acquainted with the donor.] may . review of the last twelve months, since we have been in bristol, as it regards the fruits of our labours. . it has pleased the lord to gather a church, through our instrumentality, at bethesda, which is increased to in number, and there have been added to gideon church ; therefore the total number of those added to us within the year, has been . . there have been converted through our instrumentality, so far as we have heard and can judge respecting the individuals, . . many backsliders have been reclaimed, and many of the children of god have been encouraged and strengthened in the way of truth. what clear proofs that we were not suffered to be mistaken, as it regards our coming to bristol. june . i felt, this morning, that we might do something for the souls of those poor boys and girls, and grown-up or aged people, to whom we have daily given bread for some time past, in establishing a school for them, reading the scriptures to them, and speaking to them about the lord. as far as i see at present, it appears well to me to take a place in the midst of those poor streets near us, to collect the children in the morning about eight, giving them each a piece of bread for breakfast, and then to teach them to read, or to read the scriptures to them, for about an hour and a half. afterwards the aged, or grown-up people, may have their appointed time, when bread may be given to them, and the scriptures read and expounded to them, for, perhaps, half an hour. about similar things i have now and then thought these two years.--there was bread given to about or persons today; and though the number should increase, in the above way, to or more, surely our gracious and rich lord can give us bread for them also. no sooner had these thoughts arisen, and i communicated them to my dear brother craik, than i was also directed to a place where the people may be assembled, holding comfortably children. we went about it, and may have it at the rent of l., yearly. the lord directed us, also, to an aged brother as a teacher, and he gladly accepted of our offer. surely, this matter seems to be of god. moreover, as i have just now a good deal of money left of the l., we have wherewith to begin; and if it be the lord's will, and if he will accept it, i am willing to lay out at once l. of it in this way, yea, all that is left, if he will but speak; and, by the time that this is gone, he can send more. o lord, if this matter be of thee, then prosper it! [this desire was not carried out. as far as i remember, the chief obstacle in the way was a pressure of work coming upon brother craik and me just about that time. shortly after, the number of the poor who came for bread increased to between and a day, whereby our neighbours were molested, as the beggars were lying about in troops in the streets, on account of which we were obliged to tell them no longer to come for bread. but though, at this time, this matter was not carried out, the thought was, from time to time, revived and strengthened in my mind, and it ultimately issued in the formation of the scriptural knowledge institution, and in the establishment of the orphan-houses.] june . a brother sent a hat to brother craik, and one to me, as a token of his love and gratitude, like a thank-offering, as he says. this is now the fourth hat which the lord has kindly sent me successively, whenever, or even before, i needed one. between august th and th was sent to us, by several individuals, a considerable quantity of fruit. how very kind of the lord, not merely to send us the necessaries of life, but even such things as, on account of the weakness of our bodies, or the want of appetite, we might have desired! thus the lord has sent wine or porter when we required it; or, when there was want of appetite, and, on account of the poverty of our brethren, we should not have considered it right to spend money upon such things, he has kindly sent fowls, game, &c., to suit our appetite. we have, indeed, not served a hard master. i am quite ashamed when i still, sometimes, find my heart dissatisfied, or, at least, not grateful as it ought to be. december . this evening brother craik and i took tea with a family, of whom five have been brought to the knowledge of the lord through our instrumentality. [when we took tea with them again, about a twelvemonth afterwards, the number had increased to seven.] as an encouragement to brethren who may desire to preach the gospel in a language not their own, i would mention, that the first member of this family who was converted, came merely out of curiosity to hear my foreign accent, some words having been mentioned to her which i did not pronounce properly. scarcely had she entered the chapel, when she was led to see herself a sinner. her intention had been, to stay only a few minutes. but she felt herself as if bound to the seat whilst i was speaking, and remained to the close of the meeting. she then went hastily home, instead of pursuing her pleasures, washed the paint off her face, stayed at home that lord's day, till the meeting began again, and from that day was truly converted. having found the lord, she entreated her brothers and sisters to go and hear the gospel preached, who, in doing so, were likewise converted. may my dear missionary brethren always be mindful that the lord can bless a few broken sentences, however badly the words are pronounced, as a means in the conversion of sinners! december , . in looking over my journal, i find:--i. that at least persons (according to the number of names we have marked down, but there have been many more,) have come to converse with us about the concerns of their souls. out of these, have been added to us in fellowship these last eighteen months, of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the lord through our instrumentality. besides these , five have fallen asleep before they were received into communion. in addition to these, there are many among the inquirers and candidates for fellowship, whom we have reason to believe god has given to us as seals to our ministry in this city. some also were converted through our instrumentality who are in fellowship with other churches in this city. ii. in looking over the lord's dealings with me as to temporal things, i find that he has sent me, during the past year,-- . in freewill offerings through the boxes, as my part £ s. / d. . presents in money given to me £ s. d. . presents in clothes and provisions worth at least £ s. d. altogether from the brethren in bristol £ s. / d. . a brother sent me, from a distance of several thousand miles £ s. d. . we live free of rent, which is worth for our part £ s. d. totaling £ s / d. it is just now four years since i first began to trust in the lord alone for the supply of my temporal wants. my little all i then had, at most worth l. a year, i gave up to the lord, having then nothing left but about l. the lord greatly honoured this little sacrifice, and he gave me, in return, not only as much as i had given up, but considerably more. for during the first year, he sent me already, in one way or other, (including what came to me through family connexion) about l. during the second year, l. s. d. during the third year, l. s. during this year, l. s. / d. the following points require particular notice:-- . during the last three years and three months i never have asked any one for any thing; but, by the help of the lord, i have been enabled at all times to bring my wants to him, and he graciously has supplied them all. and thus, the lord helping me, i hope to be enabled to go on to the last moment of my life. . at the close of each of these four years, though my income has been comparatively great, i have had only a few shillings, or nothing at all left; and thus it is also today, by the help of god. . during the last year a considerable part of my income has come from a distance of several thousand miles, from a brother whom i never saw. . since we have been obliged to discontinue the giving away bread to about poor people every day, on account of our neighbours, our income has not been, during the second part of this year, nearly so great, scarcely one-half as much, as during the first part of it; as if the lord would thereby show us that when the calls upon us are many, he is able to send in accordingly. observe this! january , . it seemed well to brother craik and me, to have an especial public meeting for thanksgiving to the lord, for his many mercies towards us since we have been in bristol, and for the great success which it has pleased him to grant to our labours; and also for confession of our sinfulness and unworthiness, and to entreat him to continue his goodness towards us. accordingly we met last evening, and continued together from seven o'clock till half-past twelve. about four hundred individuals, or more, met with us on the occasion. january . this evening, from six to a quarter past ten, we conversed with inquirers. after we had seen twelve, we had to send away six. there were several fresh cases of conversion among them. the work of the lord is still going on among us. one of the individuals, who has lately been brought to the knowledge of the truth, used to say in his unconverted state, when he was tempted not to go to the chapel,--"i will go; the lord may bless me one day, and soften my hard heart. "--his expectation has not come to nothing. january . brother craik and i have preached during these eighteen months, once a month, at brislington, a village near bristol, but have not seen any fruit of our labours there. this led me, today, very earnestly to pray to the lord for the conversion of sinners in that place. i was also, in the chapel, especially led to pray again about this, and asked the lord in particular that he would be pleased to convert, at least, one soul this evening, that we might have a little encouragement. i preached with much help, and i hope there has been good done this evening. [the lord did according to my request. there was, that evening, a young man brought to the knowledge of the truth.] january . the lord verified in our experience the truths which i had preached last evening in speaking on "hast thou not made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath, on every side?" job i. . thieves attempted to break into gideon chapel. they had broken it open, but were either smitten with blindness, so as not to see a certain door which had been left unlocked, or were disturbed before accomplishing their design; for there was nothing missing. january . i was greatly tried by the difficulty of fixing upon a text, from which to preach, on the morning of october , and at last preached without enjoyment. today i heard of a ninth instance in which this very sermon has been blessed. may my brethren in the ministry of the word be encouraged by this to go quietly, yet prayerfully, forward in the work of the lord! january . this evening a dorcas society was formed among the sisters in communion with us, but not according to the manner in which we found one when we came to bristol; for as we have dismissed all teachers from the sunday school who were not believers, so now believing females only will meet together to make clothes for the poor. the being mixed up with unbelievers had not only proved a barrier to spiritual conversation among the sisters, but must have been also injurious to both parties in several respects. one sister, now united to us in fellowship, acknowledged that the being connected with the dorcas society, previous to her conversion, had been, in a measure, the means of keeping her in security; as she thought, that, by helping on such like things, she might gain heaven at last. oh that the saints in faithful love, according to the word of god, ( cor. vi. - ) might be more separated, in all spiritual matters, from unbelievers, and not be unequally yoked together with them! february . i prayed little, read little of the word, and laboured little to day. on the whole an unprofitable day. may the lord in mercy give me fervency of spirit! february . brother craik preached this evening on mark iv. - , and was enabled to give out precious truths. oh that i did feed more upon them! for several weeks i have had very little real communion with the lord. i long for it. i am cold. i have little love to the lord. but i am not, yea, i cannot be satisfied with such a state of heart. oh that once more i might be brought to fervency of spirit, and that thus it might continue with me forever! i long to go home that i maybe with the lord, and that i may love him with all my heart. i fear that the lord will chastise me at the time of my dear wife's confinement. lord jesus, take thy miserable sinful servant soon to thyself, that i may serve thee better! within the last week i have repeatedly set out, as it were, afresh; but soon, very soon, all has come again to nothing. the lord alone can help me. oh that it might please him to bring me into a more spiritual state! february . by the mercy of god i was today melted into tears on account of my state of heart. oh that it might please the lord to bring me into a more spiritual state! february . through the help of the lord i am rather in a better state of heart than for some time past.--i was led this morning to form a plan for establishing, upon scriptural principles, an institution for the spread of the gospel at home and abroad. i trust this matter is of god.--this evening we had again, from six to half-past ten, a meeting with inquirers. the work of the lord is going on among us as much as ever. oh that our hearts might overflow with gratitude! even after we were worn out to the utmost, we could not see all, but had to send away several individuals. february . the inquiries were so many yesterday, that though we conversed more than four hours with them, we had to appoint another meeting for today, and saw again several from two till five. i was led again this day to pray about the forming of a new missionary institution, and felt still more confirmed that we should do so. [some readers may ask why we formed a new institution for the spread of the gospel, and why we did not unite with some of the religious societies, already in existence, seeing that there are several missionary-, bible-, tract-, and school societies. i give, therefore, our reasons, in order to show, that nothing but the desire to maintain a good conscience led us to act as we did. for as, by the grace of god, we acknowledged the word of god as the only rule of action for the disciples of the lord jesus, we found, in comparing the then existing religious societies with the word of god, that they departed so far from it, that we could not be united with them, and yet maintain a good conscience. i only mention here the following points. . the end which these religious societies propose to themselves, and which is constantly put before their members, is, that the world will gradually become better and better, and that at last the whole world will be converted. to this end there is constantly reference made to the passage in habakkuk ii. . "for the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the lord, as the waters cover the sea," or the one in isaiah xi. , "for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the lord, as the waters cover the sea." but that these passages can have no reference to the present dispensation, but to the one which will commence with the return of the lord, that in the present dispensation things will not become spiritually better, but rather worse, and that in the present dispensation it is not the whole world that will be converted, but only a people gathered out from among the gentiles for the lord, is clear from many passages of the divine testimony, of which i only refer to the following: matt. xiii. - , and verse - , tim. iii. - , acts. xv. . a hearty desire for the conversion of sinners, and earnest prayer for it to the lord, is quite scriptural; but it is unscriptural to expect the conversion of the whole world. such an end we could not propose to ourselves in the service of the lord. . but that which is worse, is the connexion of those religious societies with the world, which is completely contrary to the word of god ( cor. vi. - ). in temporal things the children of god need, whilst they remain here on earth, to make use of the world; but when the work to be done requires, that those who attend to it should be possessed of spiritual life (of which unbelievers are utterly destitute), the children of god are bound, by their loyalty to their lord, entirely to refrain from association with the unregenerate. but alas! the connexion with the world is but too marked in these religious societies; for every one who pays a guinea, or, in some societies, half-a-guinea, is considered as a member. although such an individual may live in sin; although he may manifest to every one that he does not know the lord jesus; if only the guinea or the half-guinea be paid, he is considered a member, and has a right as such to vote. moreover, whoever pays a larger sum, for instance, £ . or £ . can be, in many societies, a member for life, however openly sinful his life should be for the time, or should became afterwards. surely, such things aught not to be! . the means which are made use of in these religious societies, to obtain money for the work of the lord, are also, in other respects, unscriptural; for it is a most common case to ask the unconverted for money, which even abraham would not have done (genesis xiv. - ): and how much less should we do it, who are not only forbidden to have fellowship with unbelievers in all such matters ( cor. vi. - ), but who are also in fellowship with the father and the son, and can therefore obtain everything from the lord which we possibly can need in his service, without being obliged to go to the unconverted world! how altogether differently the first disciples acted in this respect, we learn from john . . not merely, however, in these particulars is there a connexion with the world in these religious societies; but it is not a rare thing for even committee members (the individuals who manage the affairs of the societies) to be manifestly unconverted persons, if not open enemies to the truth; and this is suffered because they are rich, or of influence, as it is called. . it is a most common thing to endeavour to obtain for patrons and presidents of these societies, and for chairmen at the public meetings, persons of rank or wealth to attract the public. never once have i known a case of a poor, but very devoted, wise, and experienced servant of christ being invited to fill the chair at such public meetings. surely, the galilean fishermen, who were apostles, or our lord himself, who was called the carpenter, would not have been called to this office, according to these principles. these things ought not so to be among the disciples of the lord jesus, who should not judge with reference to a person's fitness for service in the church of christ by the position he fills in the world, or by the wealth he possesses! . almost all these societies contract debts, so that it is a comparatively rare case to read a report of any of them, without finding that they have expended more than they have received, which, however, is contrary both to the spirit and to the letter of the new testament. (rom. xiii. ). now, although brother craik and i were ready, by the grace of god, heartily to acknowledge that there are not only many true children of god connected with these religious societies, but that the lord has also blessed their efforts in many respects, notwithstanding the existence of these and other principles and practices which we judged to be unscriptural, yet it appeared to us to be his will, that we should be entirely separate from these societies, (though we should be considered as singular persons, or though it should even appear that we despised other persons, or would elevate ourselves above them), in order that, by the blessing of god, we might direct the attention of the children of god in these societies to their unscriptural practices; and we would rather be entirely unconnected with these societies than act contrary to the holy scriptures. we therefore separated entirely from them, although we remained united in brotherly love with individual believers belonging to them; and would by no means judge them for remaining in connexion with them, if they do not see that such things are contrary to scripture. but seeing them to be so ourselves, we could not with a clear conscience remain. after we had thus gone on for some time, we considered that it would have an injurious tendency upon the brethren among whom we laboured, and also be at variance with the spirit of the gospel of christ, if we did nothing at all for missionary objects, the circulation of the holy scriptures, tracts, etc.; and we were therefore led for these and other reasons to do something for the spread of the gospel at home and abroad, however small the beginning might be. this was the origin of the institution, of which the following part of my narrative speaks.] march . this evening, at a public meeting, brother craik and i stated the principles on which we intend to carry on the institution which we propose to establish for the spread of the gospel at home and abroad. there was nothing outwardly influential, either in the number of people present, or in our speeches. may the lord graciously be pleased to grant his blessing upon the institution, which will be called "the scriptural knowledge institutions for home and abroad." i. the principles of the institution. . we consider every believer bound, in one way or other, to help the cause of christ, and we have scriptural warrant for expecting the lord's blessing upon our work of faith and labour of love: and although, according to matt. xiii. - , tim. iii. - , and many other passages, the world will not be converted before the coming of our lord jesus, still, while he tarries; all scriptural means ought to be employed for the ingathering of the elect of god. . the lord helping us, we do not mean to seek the patronage of the world; i.e., we never intend to ask unconverted persons of rank or wealth to countenance this institution, because this, we consider, would be dishonourable to the lord. in the name of our god we set up our banners, ps. xx. ; he alone shall be our patron, and if he helps us we shall prosper, and if he is not on our side, we shall not succeed. . we do not mean, to ask unbelievers for money ( cor. vi. - ); though we do not feel ourselves warranted to refuse their contributions, if they, of their own accord should offer them. acts xxviii. - . . we reject altogether the help of unbelievers in managing or carrying on the affairs of the institution. cor, vi. - . . we intend never to enlarge the field of labour by contracting debts (rom. xiii. ), and afterwards appealing to the church of christ for help, because this we consider to be opposed both to the letter and the spirit of the new testament; but in secret prayer, god helping us, we shall carry the wants of the institution to the lord, and act according to the means that god shall give. . we do not mean to reckon the success of the institution by the amount of money given, or the number of bibles distributed, &c, but by the lord's blessing upon the work (zech. iv. ); and we expect this, in the proportion in which he shall help us to wait upon him in prayer. . while we would avoid aiming after needless singularity, we desire to go on simply according to scripture, without compromising the truth; at the same time thankfully receiving any instruction which experienced believers, after prayer, upon scriptural ground, may have to give us concerning the institution. ii. the objects of the institution are: . to assist day-schools, sunday-schools, and adult-schools, in which instruction is given upon scriptural principles, and, as far as the lord may give the means, and supply us with suitable teachers, and in other respects make our path plain, to establish schools of this kind. a. by day-schools upon scriptural principles, we understand day schools in which the teachers are godly persons,--in which the way of salvation is scripturally pointed out,--and in which no instruction is given opposed to the principles of the gospel. b. sunday-schools, in which all the teachers are believers, and in which the holy scriptures alone are the foundation of instruction,--are such only as the institution assists with the supply of bibles, testaments, &c.; for we consider it unscriptural, that any persons, who do not profess to know the lord themselves, should be allowed to give religious instruction. c. the institution does not assist any adult-schools with the supply of bibles, testaments, spelling books, &c., except the teachers are believers. . to circulate the holy scriptures. we sell bibles and testaments to poor persons at a reduced price. but while we, in general, think it better that the scriptures should be sold, and not given altogether gratis, still, in cases of extreme poverty, we think it right to give, without payment, a cheap edition. . the third object of this institution is, to aid missionary efforts. we desire to assist those missionaries whose proceedings appear to be most according to the scriptures. it is proposed to give such a portion of the amount of the donations to each of the fore-mentioned objects, as the lord may direct; but if none of the objects should claim a more particular assistance, to lay out an equal portion upon each; yet so, that if any donor desires to give for one of the objects exclusively, the money shall be appropriated accordingly. march . today we have only one shilling left. many times also in bristol our purse has been either empty or nearly so, though we have not been brought quite so low as it regards provisions, as was sometimes the case at teignmouth. this evening, when we came home from our work, we found a brother, our tailor, waiting for us, who brought a new suit of clothes both for brother craik and me, which a brother, whose name was not to be mentioned, had ordered for us. march . our brother brought us this evening also, from the same friend, a new hat for each of us. march . some time since, a brother who had been brought to the knowledge of the lord through our instrumentality, having been previously guilty of habitual drunkenness and other open sins, requested with tears our prayers on behalf of his wife, who, like himself formerly, was still given to drinking, and who grew worse and worse. about ten days, after he had spoken to us, it pleased god to begin a work of grace in her heart, in answer to the many prayers of her husband, and this evening she was added to us in fellowship. there have come many instances before us, since we have been in bristol, in which unbelieving partners have been given to believing ones, in answer to their prayers; yea, even such as had threatened to murder their wives, or leave them, they would still continue to go to our chapels. march . this afternoon at five, my wife was in much pain, which she shortly afterwards considered as the token of her hour being near. i therefore set off to call in a sister, and then i went for the nurse, and my wife's sister, and our servant, who were at clifton. the lord having graciously speeded all this, i went to bethesda chapel, where i had to preach shortly after. i thought it better to spend the few minutes, which i had before preaching, in prayer for my wife, than to return home again, as i should have had to set off directly afterwards, believing that my mind would be thus more quiet and calm, and that i also might thus help my dearest wife much more effectually. the lord most graciously kept me from excitement and anxiety, so that i went in peace, preached in peace, and walked home in peace, looking up to jesus to prepare me for all that might await me, as i remembered but too well the two former times of my wife's confinement. i might have asked brother craik to preach, and have gone home; but i thought it more honouring the lord to do his work. in walking home, the following words were a particular refreshment to me:-- make you his service your delight, your wants shall be his care. when i came home, i heard the joyful news, that all was over, and that my dear mary had been delivered at twenty minutes past eight of a little boy. observe! . the lord graciously sent the medical attendant and the nurse (the latter nearly three miles off), in the right time. . the lord put it into my heart to honour him, by preferring the care of his house to that of my own, and thus he lovingly spared me three painful hours. may he be pleased to give me grace more than ever to love and serve him! march . today the brethren and sisters in communion at bethesda dined together, having been invited by a sister; and in the evening the churches of gideon and bethesda took tea together. both times were refreshing seasons. at dinner we were together from one till half past three, at tea from five to nine. both times we prayed repeatedly, sang hymns, read a little of the word, and several brethren spoke of the lord's dealings with them. april . today i have had again much reason to see how weak i am, and how prone to give way to every sin if i am not kept by god. may he have mercy upon me, and keep me from bringing an open disgrace upon his holy name! o wretched man that i am!! april . brother and sister craik and ourselves have been living together hitherto; but now, as the lord has given to them one child, and to us two, and there are but six rooms in our house, so that of late dear brother craik and i have had repeatedly to go to another house to be uninterrupted: we came at last to the conclusion, that it would be better for our souls and the lord's work that we should separate. april . today i received from several sisters l. towards furnishing a house. april . yesterday and today i had asked the lord to send us l., that we might be able to procure a larger stock of bibles and testaments than our small funds of the scriptural knowledge institution would allow us to purchase; and this evening a sister, unasked, promised to give us that sum, adding that she felt a particular pleasure in circulating the holy scriptures, as the simple reading of them had been the means of bringing her to the knowledge of the lord. april . we have repeatedly conversed about the name which we should give to our babe; but, being unsettled about it, and considering that in all our ways we ought to acknowledge the lord, i gave myself today to prayer concerning this matter, and the name elijah, about which i never had thought, was particularly, whilst praying, impressed on my mind, and therefore we intend to name the child elijah, i. e., my god is jah, jehovah. may the lord in mercy grant elijah's spirit and elijah's blessing to our little one! may . today l. more was given to me towards furnishing a house. thus the lord has now graciously supplied our need in this particular also. may . today l. more was given to us towards furnishing the house, and also some carpet. may . today we moved into our house, having lived nearly two years with brother and sister craik. june . today a sister called on me, and i felt irritated at her staying, after having given her to understand that i had but a few minutes time. i sinned thus against the lord. help thou me, blessed jesus, in future! june . lord's day. i obtained no text yesterday, notwithstanding repeated prayer and reading of the word. this morning i awoke with these words:--"my grace is sufficient for thee." as soon as i had dressed myself, i turned to cor. xii. to consider this passage; but in doing so, after prayer, i was led to think that i had not been directed to this portion for the sake of speaking on it as i at first thought, and i therefore followed my usual practice in such cases, i. e., to read on in the scriptures where i left off last evening. in doing so, when i came to heb. xi. - , i felt that this was the text. having prayed, i was confirmed in it, and in a few minutes the lord was pleased to open this passage to me. i preached on it with great enjoyment, both at gideon and at bethesda, particularly in the evening at bethesda. this help was evidently from god. may he fill my heart with gratitude, and encourage me by this, to trust in him for the future! i now understand why those words, "my grace is sufficient for thee," were brought to my mind when i awoke this morning.--[it pleased god, as i have heard since, greatly to bless what i said on that passage, and at least one soul was brought through it to the lord.] june . these last three days i have had very little real communion with god, and have therefore been very weak spiritually, and have several times felt irritability of temper. may god in mercy help me to have more secret prayer!--let none expect to have the mastery over his inward corruption in any degree, without going in his weakness again and again to the lord for strength. nor will prayer with others, or conversing with the brethren, make up for secret prayer; for i had been engaged in both repeatedly, during the three previous days, as my journal shows. june . i was enabled, by the grace of god, to rise early, and i had nearly two hours in prayer before breakfast. i feel now this morning more comfortable. may god in mercy help me to walk before him this day, and to do his work; and may he keep me from all evil! july . the lord very mercifully kept us today from a great calamity, the apron of our christian servant having caught fire; but the fire was extinguished, and she was kept from being burned! july . i have prayed much about a master for a boys' school, to be established in connexion with our little institution. eight have applied for the situation, but none seemed to be suitable. now at last the lord has given us a brother, who will commence the work. the lord allowed us to call upon him many times before he answered, but at last he granted our request. july . today we finished reading through the scriptures, at family prayer, the second time since we came to bristol, which is little more than two years. i mention this circumstance to show how often we may read through the whole of the scriptures, though we should read but little every day, if we go regularly onward. august . today brother craik and i engaged a sister to be governess of another girls' school, which we intend to establish, in dependence upon the lord for supplies. august . i had prayed repeatedly, and had read ten chapters of the word to get a text, but obtained none, and had to go this evening to the chapel without knowing on what portion of his holy word the lord would have me to speak. at the commencement of the meeting i was directed to lament. iii. - , on which i spoke with much assistance and enjoyment. september . a brother, a tailor, was sent to measure me for new clothes. my clothes are again getting old, and it is therefore very kind of the lord to provide thus. september . a brother sent me a new hat today. october . our little institution, established in dependence upon the lord, and supplied by him with means, has now been seven months in operation, and through it have been benefited with instruction,-- . in the sunday-school, about children. . in the adult-school, about adults. . in the two day-schools for boys and, the two day-schools for girls, children, of whom have been entirely free; the others pay about one-third of the expense. there have been also circulated bibles, and new testaments. lastly, l. has been spent to aid missionary exertions. the means which the lord has sent us, as the fruit of many prayers, during these seven months, amount to l. s. / d. october . this afternoon brother craik and i took tea with seven brethren and sisters, whom the lord has brought to a knowledge of himself through our instrumentality, within the last two years; all but one belonging to the same family. we heard there a most affecting account of a poor little orphan boy, who for some time attended one of our schools, and who seems there, as far as we can judge, to have been brought to a real concern about his soul, through what i said concerning the torments of hell, and who some time ago was taken to the poor-house some miles out of bristol. he has expressed great sorrow that he can no longer attend our school and ministry. may this, if it be the lord's will, lead me to do something also for the supply of the temporal wants of poor children, the pressure of which has occasioned this poor boy to be taken away from our school! november . today, our means being completely gone, we had them supplied in the following manner:--some time since some silver spoons were given to us, which we never used, from the consideration, that for servants of christ it was better, for the sake of example, to use cheaper ones, and for that reason we had sold our plate at teignmouth. yet up to this day those spoons remained unsold. but now, as we wanted money, we disposed of them, considering that the kind giver would not be displeased at our doing so to supply our need. november . i spent the greater part of the morning in reading the word and in prayer, and asked also for our daily bread, for we have scarcely any money left.--we obtained today two large school-rooms, which we much needed. thus the lord graciously helps us concerning the institution, and gives us faith to go forward in the work, enlarging the field more and more (though we have but little money), yet so that we do not contract debts. november . i spent almost the whole of the day in prayer and reading the word. i prayed also again for the supply of our own temporal wants, but the lord has not as yet appeared. still my eyes are up to him. november . saturday. the lord has graciously again supplied our temporal wants during this week, though at the commencement of it we had but little left. i have prayed much this week for money, more than any other week, as far as i remember, since we have been in bristol. the lord has not answered our prayers by causing means to be sent in the way of a gift, but has supplied us through our selling what we did not need, or by our being paid what was awed to us. december . today we found that a departed brother had left both to brother craik and me l. december , .--i. since brother craik and i have been labouring in bristol, brethren and sisters have been added to us in fellowship. we found believers in the church at gideon, so that now the whole number would be , had there been no changes, but it is only ; for twelve have fallen asleep; six have left bristol; twelve have left the churches during the two years and six months, but are still in bristol; eight are under church discipline, respecting some of whom, however, we hope that they maybe soon restored to communion. of those , there belong to bethesda church, and to gideon church. out of the who have been added to us, have been converted through our instrumentality, and many have been brought into the liberty of the gospel, or reclaimed from backsliding. forty-seven young converts are at gideon, and fifty-six at bethesda. considering that some have fallen asleep who never were in communion with us, and yet converted through our instrumentality; and that some are united to other churches in and out of bristol; and that many are now standing as candidates for fellowship, of those who have been given to us in this city, as seals to our ministry; the number added may be only one-half, or two-thirds of the real number. may the lord fill our hearts with gratitude, for having thus condescended to use us! ii. the income which the lord has given me during this year is:-- . my part of the freewill offerings through the boxes £ s. / d. . money given to me by saints in and out of bristol £ s. d. altogether. . . £ s. / d. . besides this, many articles in provisions, clothing, and furniture, worth to us about £ s. d. january , . we had last evening an especial prayer-meeting of the two churches, and any other persons hat chose to attend, for the sake of praising the lord for all his many mercies which we have received during the past year, and to ask him to continue to us his favour during this year also. it was open to any of the brethren to pray, as they felt disposed, and eighteen did so, as i afterwards reckoned. we continued in prayer and praise, mixed with singing, reading the word, and exhortation, from seven in the evening till one in the morning. january . from ten till one in the first part of the day, and from six to half-past eight this evening, i visited, from house to house, the people living in orange street, and saw in this way the families living in nine houses, to ascertain whether any individuals wanted bibles, whether they could read, whether they wished their children to be put to our day-schools or sunday-school, with the view of helping them accordingly. this afforded opportunities to converse with them about their souls. in this way i sold eight bibles and two testaments at reduced prices, and gave away one testament; engaged one woman as an adult scholar, one boy as a day scholar; and spoke besides this to about thirty people about their souls.--january . this morning, from ten till one, i went again from house to house in orange street. i visited nine houses, sold a bible and testament at reduced prices, and engaged, a few children for the schools, and conversed with fifteen persons about their souls. i should greatly delight in being frequently engaged in such work, for it is a most important one; but our hands are so full with other work, that we can do but little in this way.--january . today brother groves arrived from the east indies. one reason of his coming to england is, to go to germany to obtain missionary brethren for the east indies, having reason to believe that he will find them there; and he asked me, on account of my acquaintance with the language, to accompany him, that thus, through me, he may be enabled to judge about the state of the brethren, and to communicate to them what he thinks needful for them to know. this is a most important work. may the lord direct me in this matter, and make me to act according to his will!--i received again today, after prayer respecting the funds, l. for the scriptural knowledge institution.--january . received, in answer to prayer, from an unexpected quarter, l. for the scriptural knowledge institution. the lord pours in, whilst we seek to pour out. for during the past week, merely among the poor, in going from house to house, fifty-eight copies of the scriptures were sold at reduced prices, the going on with which is most important, but it will require much means. january . i have, for these several days, again prayed much to ascertain whether the lord will have me to go as a missionary to the east indies, and i am most willing to go, if he will condescend to use me in this way. january . i have been greatly stirred up to pray about going to calcutta as a missionary. may the lord guide me in this matter! [after all my repeated and earnest prayer in the commencement of , and willingness on my part to go, if it were the lord's will, still he did not send me.] february . i have been praying repeatedly and earnestly of late respecting my journey to the continent. i desire to go, or not to go, just as the lord will have it to be. may he graciously direct me! i feel the same about going to india. as a means to ascertain the lord's will, i have been reading about the hindoos, that i may know more clearly the state in which they are. may the lord in mercy stir me up to care more about their state, whether it be his will that i should labour personally among them, or not! february . i mentioned this evening, before the church at bethesda, as also on the th before the church at gideon, that i see it the lord's will to go to the continent, for the sake of assisting brother groves by my knowledge of the german language, in conferring with those who may desire to go out as missionaries. there is not one believer amongst us who sees any objection to it, and several have expressed that it seems to be of the lord, and that thus we could help, as churches, in the going forth of missionaries. this is very comforting to me, as the lord confirms me still more, through this unanimity, in its being his will that i should go. february . in the name of the lord, and in dependence upon him alone for support, we have established a fifth day-school for poor children, which today has been opened. we have now two boys' schools, and three girls' schools. february . this afternoon i left bristol for the continent. february . london. this morning i went to the alien office for my passport. on entering the office i saw a printed paper, in which it is stated that every alien neglecting to renew, every six months, his certificate of residence which he receives on depositing his passport, subjects himself to a penalty of £ , or imprisonment. this law i have ignorantly broken ever since i left london in . it appeared to me much better to confess at once that i had ignorantly done so, than now willfully break it; trusting in the lord as it regarded the consequences of the step. i did so, and the lord inclined the heart of the officer with whom i had to do, to pass over my noncompliance with the law, on account of my having broken it ignorantly. having obtained my passport, i found an unexpected difficulty in the prussian ambassador refusing to sign it, as it did not contain a description of my person, and therefore i needed to prove that i was the individual spoken of in the passport. this difficulty was not removed for three days, when, after earnest prayer, through a paper signed by same citizens of london, to whom i am known, the ambassador was satisfied. this very difficulty, when once the lord had removed it, afforded me cause for thanksgiving; for i now obtained a new passport, worded in such a way, that, should i ever need it again, will prevent similar difficulties. march . this evening i preached comfortably in johnstreet chapel, for brother evans. i never preached in any place where i so much felt that he who statedly ministers was more worthy than myself. this feeling led me to earnest prayer, and the lord heard and assisted me. march . dover. last evening i left london, and arrived here this morning. the lord enabled me to confess him before my fellow-passengers. i have had a good deal of prayer and reading the word in quietness, though staying in an hotel.--march . i preached this morning and evening comfortably in one of the chapels at dover. march . all this day too we have been obliged to remain at dover, the sea being so rough that no packet sails. i spent the day in writing letters, in reading the word, and in prayer. we depend entirely upon the lord as it regards our movements. this evening we asked the lord twice, unitedly, that he would be pleased to calm the wind and the waves, and i now feel quite comfortable in leaving the matter with him! march . the lord heard our prayer. we awake early in the morning, and found the wind comparatively calm. we left the hotel before break of day, to go to the packet. all being in great hurry, on our way towards the sea, i was separated from brothers g. and y. i now lifted up my heart to the lord, as he generally helps me to do on such occasions, to direct my steps towards the boat which went out to meet the packet, and i found it almost immediately. we had, in answer to prayer, a good passage. at calais we obtained our passports, luggage out of the custom house, and places in the diligence without difficulty, and left a little after ten in the morning for paris. what a blessed thing it is, in all such matters, to have a father to go to for help! what a different thing, also, to travel in the service of the lord jesus, from what it is to travel in the service of the flesh! march . paris. we arrived here about ten this evening. march . today we went about our passports, and i saw thus a good deal of the best part of paris. blessed be god, my heart is above these things! if ten years ago, when my poor foolish heart was full of paris, i had come here, how should i have been taken up with these palaces, &c.; but now i look at these things, and my heart does not care about them, what a difference grace makes! there were few people, perhaps, more passionately fond of traveling, and seeing fresh places, and new scenes, than myself; but now, since, by the grace of god, i have seen beauty in the lord jesus, i have lost my taste for these things. march . we again found difficulty in obtaining our passports, arising, probably, from a mistake of the police officers. may the lord order this matter so, that it shall be for our real welfare!--march . by the help of the lord we obtained our passports, and brother groves and i took our places in the malle poste for strasburg, to leave tomorrow evening. brother y. intends to remain here a few days, on account of his health. march . this morning i preached in a little chapel in palais royal. we left paris this evening at six.--march . from six o'clock in the evening of the th, till this afternoon at half-past one, when we arrived at strasburg, we were continually shut up in the malle poste, with the exception of yesterday morning about seven, and last night about eleven, when we were allowed half an hour for our meals. i had refreshing communion with my beloved brother. this quickest of all conveyances in france carries only two passengers, and we were thus able freely to converse and to pray together, which was refreshing indeed. though we had traveled forty-four hours, yet as we had soon finished our business at strasburg, we left this evening for basle, trusting in the lord for strength for the third night's traveling. a little after we had started, we stuck fast in a new road. i lifted up my heart to the lord, and we were soon delivered, otherwise the circumstance, in a cold night, and during a fall of snow, would have been trying, as we had to get out of the mail. i now found myself again, after six years, amidst fellow-passengers who spoke my native language; but alas! they spoke not for christ. march . this afternoon we arrived at basle, where we were very kindly received by the brethren.--march . basle. these six days we have received great kindness from the brethren. the lord has given me an opportunity of bringing before several who are already engaged in the ministry of the word, and before many who intend to give themselves to this work, many important truths, so that in these opportunities i have been richly repaid for the journey. this morning i conversed also with three brethren, journeymen, who have a desire to give themselves to missionary work; but nothing could be decided now. i awake very faint, but have been mercifully helped through the work. brother groves intends to go to geneva, and i to tubingen, in order to become acquainted with a brother, a student, who is likely to go out with brother groves as a tutor to his sons, and to combine with this, missionary service. during my stay at basle i attended one day a meeting at which a venerable pious clergyman expounded the greek new testament to several brethren, who purposed to give themselves to missionary service. the passage to which this dear aged brother had then come, in the original of the new testament, was peter iii. , , which, in our english translation, reads thus: "likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." after this aged brother had expounded the passage, he related a circumstance which had occurred in his own days, and under his own eyes, at basle, which has appeared to me so encouraging for those children of god who have unbelieving relatives, and especially for sisters in the lord who have unbelieving husbands; and which, at the same time, is such a beautiful illustration of peter iii, .; that i judge it desirable to insert the narrative of this fact here. i will do so as exactly as i remember it. there lived at basle an opulent citizen, whose wife was a believer, but he himself feared not the lord. his practice was, to spend his evenings in a wine-house, where he would often tarry till eleven, twelve, or even one o'clock. on such occasions his wife always used to send her servants to bed, and sat up herself; to await the return of her husband. when at last he came, she used to receive him most kindly, never reproach him in the least, either at the time or afterwards, nor complain at all on account of his late hours, by which she was kept from seasonable rest. moreover, if it should be needful to assist him in undressing himself, when he had drunk to excess, she would do this also in a very kind and meek way. thus it went on for a long time. one evening, this gentleman was again, as usual, in a wine-house, and having tarried there with his merry companions till midnight, he said to them: "i bet, that if we go to my house, we shall find my wife sitting up and waiting for me, and she herself will come to the door and receive us very kindly; and if i ask her to prepare us a supper, she will do it at once without the least murmur, or unkind expression, or look." his companions in sin did not believe his statement. at last, however, after some more conversation about this strange statement, (as it appeared to them,) it was agreed that they would all go, to see this kind wife. accordingly they went, and, after they had knocked, found the door immediately opened by the lady herself, and they were all courteously and kindly received by her. the party having entered, the master of the house asked his wife to prepare supper for them, which she, in the meekest way, at once agreed to do; and, after awhile, supper was served by herself; without the least sign of dissatisfaction, or murmur, or complaint. having now prepared all for the company, she retired from the party to her room. when she had left the party, one of the gentlemen said: "what a wicked and cruel man you are, thus to torment so kind a wife." he then took his hat and stick, and, without touching a morsel of the supper, went away. another made a similar remark, and left, without touching the supper. thus one after another left, till they were all gone, without tasting the supper. the master of the house was now left alone, and the spirit of god brought before him all his dreadful wickedness, and especially his great sins towards his wife; and the party had not left the house half an hour, before he went to his wife's room, requesting her to pray for him, told her that he felt himself a great sinner, and asked her forgiveness for all his behaviour towards her. from that time he became a disciple of the lord jesus. observe here, dear reader, the following points in particular, which i affectionately commend to your consideration: , the wife acted in accordance with peter iii. . she kept her place as being in subjection, and the lord owned it. , she reproached not her husband, but meekly and kindly served him when he used to come home. , she did not allow the servants to sit up for their master, but sat up herself; thus honouring him as her head and superior, and concealed also, as far as she was able, her husband's shame from the servants. , in all probability a part of those hours, during which she had to sit up, was spent in prayer for her husband, or in reading the word of god, to gather fresh strength for all the trials connected with her position. but whether this was the case or not, it is certain that thus, under similar circumstances, the time might be spent, and it would then indeed be spent profitably. , be not discouraged if you have to suffer from unconverted relatives. perhaps very shortly the lord may give you the desire of your heart, and answer your prayer for them; but in the meantime seek to commend the truth, not by reproaching them on account of their behaviour towards you, but by manifesting towards them the meekness, gentleness, and kindness of the lord jesus christ. march . tubingen in wirtemberg. the day before yesterday i left basle in the afternoon. the lord enabled me to confess him before a young man and his wife, who were going to vienna to increase their riches. what a mercy that grace has made me to differ, and that i travel the service of another master! they listened very attentively, and were not at all opposed. they also esteem the people of god, and have been in the habit of meeting with them. our parting was very affectionate and solemn, after i had charged them to care earnestly about the one thing needful. i arrived, yesterday morning at six, at schaffhausen. i found a brother waiting for me at the post office, a gentleman of title, who, having been informed by brethren at basle of my arrival, kindly took me to his house for the two hours i had to stay in that town, to refresh my body with breakfast, and my soul with communion with the brethren whom he had invited to meet me. i was in this town about ten years ago. i was now again within a short distance of the fall of the rhine, which was then most attractive to me. now i considered that my time could be spent much more profitably than by going there. the little time that i was at schaffhausen, i received much information concerning the state of the church in many parts of the continent, from a believing physician and a clergyman; and i also communicated things which, with god's blessing, may be profitable. after this i continued my journey to tubingen. it was with peculiar feelings; for all this way i had traversed nearly ten years ago, to gratify my natural desire for travelling, and now i went over the same ground in the service of the lord jesus. i arrived here this morning at nine, having been strengthened to travel two nights and a day and a half, though i left basle very weak. this morning i saw brother gundert, the student of divinity, on whose account i am here, and spent about three hours in conversation with him. afterwards i called on a christian professor in the university, who received me kindly. this evening i had a meeting with the believing students, for whom the lord gave me a word. march . this morning i drove with brother gundert to stuttgart, both for the sake of seeing more of him, and also that we might unitedly talk over the matter with his father, who lives there. i am now staying at the house of brother gundert senior, where i am kindly lodged. i think brother gundert junior, will go to the east indies. his father is not only willing to give him up for the lord's sake, but seems to consider it an honour to have a son to give to the lord in this way. this evening i again met several brethren, to whom i spoke about the things of god. march . halle. from the evening of the th till this afternoon, when i arrived here, i have traveled day and night, and have been strengthened by the lord for it. the whole of this way, several hundred miles, i had gone step by step before. my thoughts were peculiarly affecting, as i retraced the mercies which i had experienced at the hands of god.--the lord enabled me repeatedly to confess his name before my changing fellow-travelers. a student spoke to me about the peculiarly good and cheap wine of weinheim, near heidelberg. i told him that when, years ago, as a student like himself, i came through that place, i cared about such things, but that now i knew what was much better than wine.--yesterday a frenchman, having heard my testimony for jesus once or twice, when the last merry companion had left the coach, quitted my society, it being too dull for him, and joined himself to an officer in the army, sitting in the forepart of the coach. (the coach was divided into the forepart and inside.) this gave me a blessed and most refreshing opportunity to pray for about an hour aloud in the coach, which strengthened and refreshed my soul. it was particularly kind of the lord to give me an opportunity of praying aloud, as, on account of having then already traveled forty-eight hours uninterruptedly, my body was too tired to allow me to continue for any length of time in mental prayer.--yesterday afternoon, at eisenach (situated just under the hill on which stands the decayed castle called the wartburg, where luther translated the holy scriptures), i saw fearful scenes of profanity. how has the candlestick been removed!--this afternoon i reached halle, where it pleased the lord to bring me to the knowledge of himself, having been graciously preserved hitherto, though a spring was found broken when i got out of the mail. i greatly needed rest, but my heart was too full. i could not sleep. i went first to the house of the brother, where i was first impressed, and afterwards i called on my esteemed tutor, professor dr. tholuck, counsellor of the consistory, who received me, after seven years' separation, with his former kindness and brotherly love. (he made me lodge with him, and gave thereby a testimony that differences of views, concerning certain parts of god's truth, ought not to separate the children of god; for i had written to him my mind from bristol two years before.) march . today i rode with dr. tholuck and two young brethren to a believing clergyman, living in the neighbourhood of halle, where we spent the day. dr. tholuck told me many encouraging things, particularly this, that several of my former fellow-students, who, at the time when i was at halle, knew not the lord, had been brought to know him since, and are now labouring in his vineyard. and further, that certain brethren, formerly very weak in the faith, had been established, and are now going on well. may this encourage the heart of the believing reader still to pray for his unconverted friends, and may it strengthen him to hope for better days concerning those of his brethren in the lord who are now weak in the faith! april . today i saw a clergyman, in whom i recognized an individual who studied at halle, whilst i was there, living then in open sin, and who is now, by divine mercy, pointing sinners to the lamb of god. in the evening i went to the large orphan-house, built, in dependence on the lord, by a. h. franke, to see one of the classical teachers, who is the son of my father's neighbour, and whom i had not seen for about fifteen years. i found him, to the joy of my heart, to be a brother in the lord. this evening i spent in the same room where it pleased the lord to begin a work of grace in my heart, with several of the same brethren and sisters with whom i used to meet seven years ago, and told them of the lord's faithfulness, gentleness, kindness, and forbearance towards me, since i had seen them last. truly how good has the lord been to me since! april . this morning i again spent in calling on the brethren and sisters, being enabled, every where, before learned and unlearned, to testify about the blessedness of adhering to the scriptures as our only guide in spiritual things. i left halle this afternoon, having received much love from the brethren, and drove fifteen miles further, to a beloved brother and old friend, brother stahlschmidt at sandersleben, who has shown me much kindness even since i have been in england. i was received with much love by this brother and his dear wife, and his man servant, also a beloved brother. [this brother (the man servant) i met fifty-four years ago at gnadau, a moravian settlement, where i several times spent a few days for the refreshment of my soul, to which place he also came, a distance of about forty-five miles, for the same purpose. he was then living with a farmer, ploughing his fields, &c. at that time our hearts were knit together; for i wish it to be understood by any unconverted reader, that, whilst i should at one time have looked with scorn upon such a person, if he had attempted to be familiar with me, now the love of jesus, in whom we were one, filled my heart with love to him, and these outward distinctions were broken down. in consequence of this acquaintance, he wrote me several letters to halle, and i wrote to him. those letters were particularly refreshing and spiritual, and therefore i read them to other brethren, and also to brother stahlschmidt, a wine merchant. on account of this, he had a great desire to have brother kroll living in his house. the lord, after a time, brought it about, and this brother lived with him above forty years, and was a friend, a brother, and a most faithful servant to this merchant, so that his considerable business was in a great measure intrusted to him; and yet he treated his master with all due respect, and kept his place as a servant. this latter point is very important, and brings glory to god. for whilst a believing master should treat a believing servant with all kindness and brotherly love; yet the believing servant should with all obedience, with all faithfulness, and particularly with due respect, treat his believing master or mistress.] april . sandersleben. today i saw several brethren and sisters, and among others a brother, who is in about the same state in which he was eight years ago. he has very little enjoyment, and makes no progress in the things of god. the reason is, that, against his conscience, he remains in a calling, which is opposed to the profession of a believer. we are exhorted in scripture to abide in our calling; but only if we can abide in it "with god." cor. vii. .--this evening a believing clergyman, and the brethren and sisters of this small town and some neighbouring villages, were collected together in brother stahlschmidt's house, and i spoke to them for two hours about the things of god, particularly about the way in which god has led me, since i saw them, and sought to strengthen their hands in god, and exhorted them to give themselves fully to the lord. it was a time of refreshing. indeed, the lord has greatly refreshed my own soul, at basle, tubingen, stuttgart, halle, and elsewhere, whenever i have spoken well of his name. the child of god should make it his particular business to encourage sinners to seek after the lord, and to increase the faith and love of the brethren, through speaking well of the name of the lord. april . i left sandersleben this morning. my brother and host acted according to john, and ; for he sent me on ten miles in his carriage. when i arrived at aschersleben, to which place brother stahlschmidt had conveyed me, i had but one station more to my father's house. on the way i asked the driver about a certain individual, with whom i studied at halle, once a companion with me in open sin. i found that he is still in the same state. what a difference has grace made between him and me! nothing, nothing but grace has made this difference! i, guilty sinner, might now be still on the same road, and he, in my room, might have been plucked as a brand out of the fire. but it is not so. may the lord help me to love him much, very much, for his distinguishing grace!--such feelings i had in particular this afternoon, when i saw the town before me in which my father lives, as there are but two in the whole place, as far as i can find out, who love the lord. how different is everything with me now from what it was when, as a wicked youth, i used to go to this town, at the time of my vacation. how truly happy am i now! how is my heart now raised above all those things in which i sought, and also fancied i found happiness! truly all these things are like bubbles to me now! my heart is not here; yea, my heart is not even in england. my heart is, at least in a measure, in heaven, though i am still nothing but a poor weak worm. i felt the solemnity and importance of having once more the privilege of seeing my aged father. i also felt the importance of being at the place, where i had spent much of my time in my youth, and where i had been known as living in sin. my desire was, that i might be enabled to walk, the three days i intended to stay there, as it becomes a servant of christ. for this i had been led to prayer before i left bristol, and since i have been on the continent. at last i arrived at my father's house. how affecting to meet him once more! april . heimersleben. this afternoon a friend of my father called-one who knows not the lord. after a few minutes the lord gave me an opportunity of setting before him the fundamental truths of the gospel, and the joy and comfort they afford, and have afforded to me. thus a way was opened to me of stating the truth more fully than ever i had been able to do before, by word of mouth, in the presence of my father and brother, without saying to them, "thou art the man." i was assisted by the lord. may he water the seed sown! this evening i went to the only two brethren in this little town, thus to own them as such. it has appeared well to me to call on none whom i know, else i should be expected to call on all; and as i see it right to spend but three days here, i consider that that little time should be wholly given to my father, as it may be the last time that i shall see him; yet, at the same time, i judged that it was well pleasing in the sight of the lord, that i should call on these brethren to strengthen their hands. when i saw these brethren last, in february, , two or three more used to meet with them; but since then the reproach of the cross has driven the others back into the world. from that time, these brethren have scarcely seen a believer, and never hear the gospel preached; it was therefore a great joy to them to see me. they told me that the lord had blessed my last visit to them; and having been informed of my coming, they were prepared to ask me many questions. one of them, knabe, about thirty years ago being possessed of property, was persuaded to lay it out in coal mines. he joined with two men who spent his property, and after some time they became bankrupts, so that there was not money enough to pay the workmen and some other creditors, even after all their goods had been sold. this evening brother knabe asked me what he ought to do about the money which had been left unpaid three and twenty years; whether he was still under an obligation to pay it, if he could. my answer was at once that he was, being in the sight of the lord still a debtor, though cleared by the laws of men. he then told me, that some years since some property was left to him, and that he also, in the years , , and , when the corn prices were very high, had laid by some money, and that therefore he was fully able to pay the debt. he saw immediately that this was the right way, and said that he would act accordingly. he added that now he saw why he had made so little progress in divine things. i have learned that this brother has lately taken two destitute orphans into his house, whom he entirely supports by the labour of his hands (he earns his bread by thrashing corn), and that the people, though they consider him, on account of his love for the lord, a weak and foolish person, yet look upon him with respect. april . i spent this morning in answering questions which my father put to me about secular things in england. this i did for the following reasons:-- . i had scarcely ever spoken about these things in my letters, indeed so little, that my father told me, he had often intended to ask me whether it was forbidden in england to send letters abroad about such matters, as i never wrote about them. i had refrained from doing so, partly, on account of want of time; and, partly, because i had better things to write about, wishing to direct his mind to the things of god. . now, however, i spoke on these subjects, because i particularly desired to be as kind, affectionate, and obliging as i conscientiously could, considering that this was the testimony i was especially called on to give. formerly i had much pressed the things of god on him, and not with sufficient tenderness, knowing not then experimentally the helplessness of the creature. after it had pleased the lord to show me the truth more clearly, in the summer of , i wrote in a different way; but in the commencement of the year i felt pressed in spirit once more, most fully, not so much as a son, but as a servant of christ, to write, and to point out to him minutely his state, showing him the danger of his soul, the grounds of which i fully laid before him. when this, as formerly, greatly displeased him, i ceased to speak any more in this way, and from that time i aimed and still aim more and more to show him love in action, as it becomes a believing son, telling him only how happy i am--how i am supported under such and such trials--how i am not caring about certain things as formerly i did--in what an awful state i was once living, and how god brought me out of it; and how any sinner, by forsaking his evil ways, and believing on the lord jesus, may be brought to the same joy and happiness, and what a delight it would be to me to meet my father at last in heaven, &c. since i have corresponded with him in this way, things have been very comfortable, though i have brought as much truth before him as formerly, and though i have never sent a letter without speaking, comparatively, much about these things. on the same ground i have not on this visit spoken directly to my father about the state of his soul, though he has more than ever heard the truth from my lips. god has indeed been with me, and i believe that i have been led by him to pursue this course. different, however, has been the way in which i have dealt with my unconverted brother; for the relationship in which i stand to him is a different one. for this afternoon, i not only pointed out to him his danger, but spoke also respecting his sins, and have done so in my letters, and intend to do so still, if the lord permit. this afternoon brother knabe called on me. he told me that he had already experienced a trial on account of his intention to pay the money, as his wife tried to keep him from it, by endeavouring to persuade him that god does not require him to do such a thing, as he has taken two orphan children into his house. he nevertheless is determined to do it. he saw, however, another difficulty, which was, that, when he looked over the papers containing the names of his creditors, it was found that all but three, out of about thirty, were dead, and he did not know what to do concerning them. i told him to go to those places where his creditors used to live, and he might find, perhaps, some needy widows and fatherless children, whom they had left behind; and, if not, he should inquire after the lawful heirs, and pay the money to them. he saw with me, and declared his full intention to do so, whatever it might cost, and seemed truly glad that god at last, through my advice, had delivered him from this burden; for from time to time the matter had pressed on his conscience that he ought to do it.--i spent this evening in relating to my father and brother some of the lord's dealings with me in england, particularly how he has graciously provided for my temporal wants in answer to prayer, and they both seemed to feel, for the moment at least the blessedness of such a life. april . i saw brother knabe this morning, who is still determined to pay the money, though tried by his wife. i exhorted him to steadfastness. i also saw some persons who called on me to hear about england, for every one of whom the lord gave me a word without any effort. it was especially so last night. a friend of my father, a roman catholic, called, and i was enabled to set the truths of the gospel before him, with their blessed effects, without entering upon the roman catholic controversy.--a part of this morning i spent in walking about with my father to see one of his gardens, and some of his fields, because i knew it would give him pleasure; and i felt that i ought in every way to show him kindness and attention, as far as i conscientiously could. tomorrow, god willing, i intend to leave, and to return to england. the lord, in his rich mercy, in answer to my prayer, has enabled me so to walk before my father, and has also impressed what i have said so far upon his heart, as to cause him to say today, "may god help me to follow your example, and to act according to what you have said to me." april . celle. yesterday morning i drove with my father to halberstadt, where, with many tears, he separated from me. i was alone in the mail, which was a great comfort to me. it was a solemn time. i found myself again on the road to brunswick, which i had traversed twice in the service of the devil, and now i was traveling on it in the name of jesus. i discerned, in passing, the inn at wolfenbuttel, from whence i intended to run away, and where i was arrested. how peculiar were my feelings! in the evening we reached brunswick, from whence we started the same night. during the night i heard a fearfully wicked, most profligate, infidel, and scoffing conversation between the conducteur and a student, and the only testimony i gave was, complete silence all the time. i arrived here this morning at eight, and have been here all the morning, as the mail will not start for hamburg until four this afternoon. it has been far from well with me in my soul today. that awful conversation last night has been spiritual poison to me. how's very soon do we, even unconsciously, receive evil! april . hamburg. i arrived here at ten this morning.--april . i went on board last night, and at twelve we sailed. this morning at half-past eleven we arrived at cuxhaven, where we cast anchor, on account of a strong contrary wind.--april . though i desired as much, perhaps, as any of the passengers speedily to get to the end of our voyage, longing to get back again to my work in bristol, and also to my wife and children, yet i was kept in peace; and whilst some murmured at the contrary wind, the lord enabled me to lift up my heart in prayer that he would calm it, if it were his holy will, and, accordingly, after a delay of about nineteen hours, we plied again yesterday morning, at seven. at ten i was taken with sea sickness, from which i had been kept during my four previous short voyages in answer to prayer; but this time i on purpose refrained from praying about it, as i did not know whether it was better for my health to be seasick or not. the sickness continued the whole of yesterday. today i am well. we have fine and calm weather. i consider it a mercy that the lord has allowed me to be sea-sick. april . bristol. yesterday at one we landed in london. in answer to prayer i soon obtained my things from the custom-house, and reached my friends in chancery lane a little before two, where i found a letter from my wife, stating that brother craik is ill, having an inflammation in the wind-pipe, and therefore, humanly speaking, will be unable to preach for some time. in consequence of this i started immediately for bristol, where i arrived this morning. i found brother craik better than i had expected, though completely unable to attend to the ministry of the word. april . today brother craik and i received l. s. d. each, being a legacy left to us some time since. we said once or twice to one another, that perhaps this money might be paid at a time when we much needed it. and so it is just now. may i and all my brethren leave the management of all our affairs entirely to the lord, who best knows what is good for us; and may it be our concern to seek first the kingdom of god and his righteousness, and all temporal supplies shall be added to us! may . i went to see brother craik, and found him better, but heard from his medical attendant that he ought not to preach for several months. may . my father-in-law has been for several days very ill. may . mr. groves continues very ill. may . this morning brother craik went into devonshire for change of air. june . today we had a public meeting on account of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. it is now fifteen months, since, in dependence upon the lord for the supply of means, we have been enabled to provide poor children with schooling, circulate the holy scriptures, and aid missionary labours. during this time, though the field of labour has been continually enlarged, and though we have now and then been brought low in funds, the lord has never allowed us to be obliged to stop the work. we have been enabled during this time to establish three day-schools, and to connect with the institution two other charity day-schools, which, humanly speaking, otherwise would have been closed for want of means. in addition to this, the expenses connected with a sunday-school and an adult school have been likewise defrayed, making seven schools altogether. the number of the children that have been thus provided with schooling, in the day-schools only, amounts to . the number of copies of the holy scriptures, which have been circulated, is bibles and new testaments. we have also sent, in aid of missionary labours in canada, in the east indies, and on the continent of europe, l. s. the whole amount of the free-will offerings put into our hands for carrying on this work, from march , , to may , , is l. s. / d. june . our father is evidently today near his end. june . this morning at two our father died. june . both our children are ill. june . our little boy is very ill. june . the dear little boy is so ill, that i have no hope of his recovery. the disease is inflammation on the chest. i spoke this evening comfortably at gideon, on psalm cxlv. - , thinking it right that neither the death of my father-in-law, nor my dying child should keep me from the lord's work. the lord's holy will be done concerning the dear little one. june . my prayer last evening was, that god would be pleased to support my dear wife under the trial, should he remove the little one; and to take him soon to himself, thus sparing him from suffering. i did not pray for the child's recovery. it was but two hours after that the dear little one went home. the eldest and the youngest the lord has thus removed from our family in the same week. my dear mary feels her loss much, but yet is greatly supported. as to myself, i am so fully enabled to realize that the dear infant is so much better off with the lord jesus than with us, that i scarcely feel the loss at all, and when i weep, i weep for joy. june . my dear wife is graciously supported. may the lord grant that these afflictions may not be lost upon us! june . i preached today both times comfortably. june . this morning was the funeral. the remains of our father and infant were put into the same grave. july . our taxes are due, and may be called for any day, and for the first time we have no money to pay them, as we were obliged, on account of our late afflictions, to spend the money which we had put by for them. may the lord in mercy provide! july . i was enabled today, by the free-will offerings through the boxes, and by what i had left, to pay the taxes before they were called for. how kind of the lord to answer my prayer so soon! july . this evening i had l. sent from weston-super-mare. so the lord has again appeared. may i praise his holy name for this seasonable help, which came when i had scarcely any money left! july . today i had again a suit of new clothes given to me by a brother. my clothes were much worn and old, and our late funeral might have given a second reason for having new ones. but i did not order any, because i had no money to pay for them, and thought it wrong to contract debts.--a fresh paper was brought in today for taxes, which ought to have been asked for many months since. may the lord give us the means to pay them! july . we had again an especial prayer-meeting for the restoration of brother craik, who, though well in his general health, is yet unable to preach, or even to converse for any length of time. july . i have felt for several days weak in my chest. this weakness has been increasing, and today i have felt it more than ever. i have thought it well to refrain next week from all public speaking. may the lord grant that i may be brought nearer to him through this, for i am not at all in the state in which i ought to be, and i think sometimes that our late afflictions have been lost upon me, and that the lord will need to chastise me severely. july . the last mentioned taxes were called for this morning, just after the lord had sent us l., from a distance of about eighty miles. so the lord has again of late, repeatedly, in answer to prayer, sent help. may this lead us to trust in him for the future! july . since the th i have felt unwell, and though sometimes a little better, on the whole i have been getting worse and worse. this morning i have seen our medical attendant, who thinks that all the disease arises from a disordered stomach. july . today brother c-r, formerly a minister in the establishment, who came to us a few days since, began, in connexion with the scriptural knowledge institution, to go from house to house, to spread the truth as a city missionary. [this was a remarkable interposition of god. brother craik had before this, for some months, been unable on account of bodily infirmity, to labour in the work of the schools, the circulation of the scriptures, &c., and my own weakness, shortly after brother c-r's arrival, increased so that i was obliged to give up the work entirely: how gracious, therefore, of the lord, to send brother c-r, that thus the work might go on! up to july, , this brother was enabled to continue in his work, and thus this little institution was in a most important way enlarged as it regards the field of labour.] august . today dear brother craik returned from devonshire, much better in his general health, but not better as it regards his voice.--august . i feel very weak, and suffer more than before from the disease. i am in doubt whether to leave bristol entirely for a time. i have no money to go away for a change of air. i have had an invitation to stay for a week with a sister in the country, and i think of accepting the invitation, and going tomorrow. august . today i had l. given to me for the express purpose of using change of air. aug. . today i received another l. for the same purpose. august . today, for the first lord's day since our arrival in bristol, i have been kept from preaching through illness. how mercifully has the lord dealt in giving me so much strength for these years! i had another l. sent, to aid me in procuring change of air. how kind is the lord in thus providing me with the means of leaving bristol! september . went with my family to portishead. september to . i read the lives of the english martyrs at the time of the reformation. my spirit has been greatly refreshed. may the lord help me to follow these holy men as far as they followed christ! of all reading, besides that of the holy scriptures, which should be always the book, the chief book to us, not merely in theory, but also in practice, such like books seem to me the most useful for the growth of the inner man. yet one has to be cautious in the choice, and to guard against reading too much. at such a time as the present, when my mind and body are too weak for much exertion, as the study of the word, conversation, writing letters, or walking, &c., i find it most refreshing to read a few pages of this kind, though these last six years i have not read the fifth part, perhaps not the tenth part as much of other books as of the holy scriptures. september . we are still at portishead. i am but little better. i am greatly bowed down today on account of my inward corruptions and carnality of heart. when will god deliver me from this state?! how i long to be more like him! my present way of living is also a great trial to me. the caring so much about the body; the having for my chief employment eating and drinking, walking, bathing, and taking horse exercise; all this to which i have not been at all accustomed these six years, i find to be very trying. i would much rather be again in the midst of the work in bristol, if my lord will condescend to use his most unworthy servant. september . as i clearly understood that the person, who lets me his horse, has no license, i saw, that being bound as a believer to act according to the laws of the country, i could use it no longer: and as horse exercise seems most important, humanly speaking, for my restoration, and as this is the only horse, which is to be had in the place, we came to the conclusion to leave portishead tomorrow. immediately after, i received a kind letter from a brother and two sisters in the lord, who lived in the isle of wight, which contained a fourth invitation, more pressing than ever, to come and stay with them for some time. in addition to this, they wrote that they had repeatedly prayed about the matter, and were persuaded that i ought to come. this matter has been today a subject for prayer and consideration to us. september . we came this morning to the conclusion to leave portishead today, and that i should go to the isle of wight; but we saw not how my wife and child and our servant could accompany me, as we had not sufficient money for traveling expenses; and yet this seemed of importance, as otherwise my wife would be overburdened in my absence, and my mind would not be sufficiently free; and besides this, she also seems to need change of air. the lord graciously removed the difficulty this evening; for we received most unexpectedly and unasked for l. s., which was owed to us, and, also, when we had already retired to rest, a letter was brought, containing a present of l. how very, very kind, and tender is the lord! september . this evening we arrived at our friends' in the isle of wight, by whom we were most kindly received.--september to . nothing remarkable has occurred. i feel very comfortable in this place, and find my stay here refreshing to my soul. my health is about the same. i am not fit for mental exercise, and am soon fatigued even by conversation. i have read during the last days, with great interest and admiration of the goodness of god, and to the refreshment of my soul, the life of john newton, and the lives of some of the english martyrs at the time of the reformation. sept. . today i am thirty years of age. i feel myself an unprofitable servant. how much more might i have lived for god than i have done! may the lord grant, that, if i am allowed to stay a few days more in this world, they may be spent entirely for him! september . last evening, when i retired from the family, i had a desire to go to rest at once, for i had prayed a short while before; and feeling weak in body, the coldness of the night was a temptation for me to pray no further. however, the lord did help me to fall upon my knees; and no sooner had i commenced praying, than he shone into my soul, and gave me such a spirit of prayer, as i had not enjoyed for many weeks. he graciously once more revived his work in my heart. i enjoyed that nearness to god and fervency in prayer, for more than an hour, for which my soul had been panting for many weeks past. for the first time, during this illness, i had now also a spirit of prayer as it regards my health. i could ask the lord earnestly to restore me again, which had not been the case before. i now long to go back again to the work in bristol, yet without impatience, and feel assured that the lord will strengthen me to return to it. i went to bed especially happy and awoke this morning in great peace, rose sooner than usual, and had again, for more than an hour, real communion with the lord before breakfast. may he in mercy continue this state of heart to his most unworthy child! october . my strength has been during the last days increasing, but i feel still the symptoms of indigestion. i have been able to speak several times at family prayer, and to expound the scriptures to the school children, without suffering in consequence of it. october . i have many times had thoughts of giving in print some account of the lord's goodness to me, for the instruction, comfort, and encouragement of the children of god; and i have been more than ever stirred up to do so since i read newton's life a few days ago. i have considered, today, all the reasons for and against, and find that there are scarcely any against, and many for it. october . today we left our dear friends for bristol. november . brother c-r and i have been praying together, the last five days, that the lord would be pleased to send us means for the carrying on of the work of the scriptural knowledge institution. this evening a brother gave me s. d., being money which he formerly used to pay towards the support of a trade club, which he has lately given up for the lord's sake.--november . this evening £ was given to me; £ . for the scriptural knowledge institution, and £ . for myself. this is a most remarkable answer to prayer. brother c-r and i have prayed repeatedly together during the last week, concerning the work, and especially that the lord would be pleased to give us the means to continue, and even to enlarge, the field. in addition to this, i have several times asked for a supply for myself, and he has kindly granted both these requests. oh that i may have grace to trust him more and more!--november . this evening i took tea at a sister's house, where i found franke's life. i have frequently, for a long time, thought of labouring in a similar way, though it might be on a much smaller scale; not, to imitate franke, but in reliance upon the lord. may god make it plain! november . today i have had it very much impressed on my heart, no longer merely to think about the establishment of an orphan-house, but actually to set about it, and i have been very much in prayer respecting it, in order to ascertain the lord's mind.--i received this day, from an unexpected quarter, £ . for the scriptural knowledge institution, in answer to prayer; and i had also £ . s. d. sent from a distance of one hundred and twenty miles.-november . this evening i had sent for the institution £ . s.--november . today i had £ . sent from ireland for our institution. thus the lord, in answer to prayer, has given me, in a few days, about £ . i had asked only for £ . this has been a great encouragement to me, and has still more stirred me up to think and pray about the establishment of an orphan-house.--november . i have been again much in prayer yesterday and today about the orphan-house, and am more and more convinced that it is of god. may he in mercy guide me! the three chief reasons for establishing an orphan-house are:-- . that god may be glorified, should he be pleased to furnish me with the means, in its being seen that it is not a vain thing to trust in him; and that thus the faith of his children may be strengthened. . the spiritual welfare of fatherless and motherless children. . their temporal welfare. it may be well to enter somewhat more minutely, than my journal does, upon the reasons which led me to establish an orphan-house. through my pastoral labours among the saints in bristol, through my considerable correspondence, and through brethren who visited bristol; i had constantly cases brought before me, which proved, that one of the especial things which the children of god needed in our day, was, to have their faith strengthened. for instance: i might visit a brother, who worked fourteen or even sixteen hours a day at his trade, the necessary result of which was, that not only his body suffered, but his soul was lean, and he had no enjoyment in the things of god. under such circumstances i might point out to him that he ought to work less, in order that his bodily health might not suffer, and that he might gather strength for his inner man, by reading the word of god, by meditation over it, and by prayer. the reply, however, i generally found to be something like this: "but if i work less, i do not earn enough for the support of my family. even now, whilst i work so much, i have scarcely enough. the wages are so low, that i must work hard in order to obtain what i need. there was no trust in god. no real belief in the truth of that word: "seek ye first the kingdom of god, and his righteousness: and all these things shall be added unto you." i might reply something like this: "my dear brother, it is not your work which supports your family, but the lord; and he who has fed you and your family when you could not work at all, on account of illness, would surely provide for you and yours, if for the sake of obtaining food for your inner man, you were to work only for so many hours a day, as would allow you proper time for retirement. and is it not the case now, that you begin the work of the day after having had only a few hurried moments for prayer; and when you leave off your work in the evening, and mean then to read a little of the word of god, are you not too much worn out in body and mind, to enjoy it, and do you not often fall asleep whilst reading the scriptures, or whilst on your knees in prayer?" the brother would allow it was so; he would allow that my advice was good; but still i read in his countenance, even if he should not have actually said so, "how should i get on, if i were to carry out your advice?" i longed, therefore, to have something to point the brother to, as a visible proof, that our god and father is the same faithful god as ever he was; as willing as ever to prove himself to be the living god, in our day as formerly, to all who put their trust in him.--again, sometimes i found children of god tried in mind by the prospect of old age, when they might be unable to work any longer, and therefore were harassed by the fear of having to go into the poor-house. if in such a case i pointed out to them, how their heavenly father has always helped those who put their trust in him, they might not, perhaps, always say, that times have changed; but yet it was evident enough, that god was not looked upon by them as the living god. my spirit was ofttimes bowed down by this, and i longed to set something before the children of god, whereby they might see, that he does not forsake, even in our day, those who rely upon him.--another class of persons were brethren in business, who suffered in their souls, and brought guilt on their consciences, by carrying on their business, almost in the same way, as unconverted persons do. the competition in trade, the bad times, the over-peopled country, were given as reasons why, if the business were carried on simply according to the word of god, it could not be expected to do well. such a brother, perhaps, would express the wish, that he might be differently situated; but very rarely did i see, that there was a stand made for god, that there was the holy determination to trust in the living god, and to depend on him, in order that a good conscience might be maintained. to this class likewise i desired to show, by a visible proof, that god is unchangeably the same.--then there was another class of persons, individuals who were in professions in which they could not continue with a good conscience, or persons who were in an unscriptural position with reference to spiritual things; but both classes feared, on account of the consequences, to give up the profession in which they could not abide with god, or to leave their position, lest they should be thrown out of employment. my spirit longed to be instrumental in strengthening their faith, by giving them not only instances from the word of god, of his willingness and ability to help all those who rely upon him, but to show them by proofs, that he is the same in our day. i well knew that the word of god ought to be enough, and it was, by grace, enough to me; but still, i considered that i aught to lend a helping hand to my brethren, if by any means, by this visible proof to the unchangeable faithfulness of the lord i might strengthen their hands in god; for i remembered what a great blessing my own soul had received through the lord's dealings with his servant a. h. franke, who, in dependence upon the living god alone, established an immense orphan-house, which i had seen many times with my own eyes. i, therefore, judged myself bound to be the servant of the church of christ, in the particular point on which i had obtained mercy: namely, in being able to take god by his word and to rely upon it. all these exercises of my soul, which resulted from the fact that so many believers, with whom i became acquainted, were harassed and distressed in mind, or brought guilt on their consciences, on account of not trusting in the lord; were used by god to awaken in my heart the desire of setting before the church at large, and before the world, a proof that he has not in the least changed; and this seemed to me best done, by the establishing of an orphan-house. it needed to be something which could be seen, even by the natural eye. now, if i, a poor man, simply by prayer and faith, obtained, without asking any individual, the means for establishing and carrying on an orphan-house: there would be something which with the lord's blessing, might be instrumental in strengthening the faith of the children of god besides being a testimony to the consciences of the unconverted, of the reality of the things of god. this, then, was the primary reason, for establishing the orphan-house. i certainly did from my heart desire to be used by god to benefit the bodies of poor children, bereaved of both parents, and seek, in other respects, with the help of god, to do them good for this life;--i also particularly longed to be used by god in getting the dear orphans trained up in the fear of god;--but still, the first and primary object of the work was, (and still is:) that god might be magnified by the fact, that the orphans under my care are provided, with all they need, only by prayer and faith, without any one being asked by me or my fellow-labourers, whereby it may be seen, that god is faithful still, and hears prayer still. that i was not mistaken, has been abundantly proved singe november, , both by the conversion of many sinners who have read the accounts, which have been published in connexion with this work, and also by the abundance of fruit that has followed in the hearts of the saints, for which, from my inmost soul, i desire to be grateful to god, and the honour and glory of which not only is due to him alone, but which i, by his help, am enabled to ascribe to him. november . i have been, every day this week, very much in prayer concerning the orphan-house, chiefly entreating the lord to take away every thought concerning it out of my mind, if the matter be not of him; and have also repeatedly examined my heart concerning my motives in the matter. but i have been more and more confirmed that it is of god. december . i have again these last days prayed much about the orphan-house, and have frequently examined my heart, that if it were at all my desire to establish it for the sake of gratifying myself i might find it out. to that end i have also conversed with brother craik about it, that he might be instrumental in showing me any hidden corruption of my heart concerning the matter, or any other scriptural reason against my engaging in it. the one only reason which ever made me at all doubt as to its being of god, that i should engage in this work, is, the multiplicity of engagements which i have already. but that which has overbalanced this objection in my mind has been:-- . that the matter is of such great importance. . that if the matter be of god, he will in due time send suitable individuals, so that comparatively little of my time will be taken up in this service. this morning i asked the lord especially, that he would be pleased to teach me through the instrumentality of brother c.; and i went to him, that he might have an opportunity of probing my heart. for as i desire only the lord's glory, i should be glad to be instructed through the instrumentality of any brother, if the matter be not of him. but brother c., on the contrary, greatly encouraged me in it. therefore i have this day taken the first actual step in the matter, in having ordered bills to be printed, announcing a public meeting on december th, at which i intend to lay before the brethren my thoughts concerning the orphan-house, as a means of ascertaining more clearly the lord's mind concerning the matter. december . brother craik told me this morning, that his voice is getting a little better. december . this evening i was struck, in reading the scriptures, with these words: "open thy mouth wide, and i will fill it." ps. lxxxi. . up to this day i had not prayed at all concerning the means or individuals needed for the orphan-house. i was now led to apply this scripture to the orphan-house, and asked the lord for premises, l., and suitable individuals to take care of the children. december . today i received the first shilling for the orphan-house. afterwards i received another shilling from a german brother. december . this afternoon the first piece of furniture was given--a large wardrobe. this afternoon and evening i was low in spirit as it regards the orphan-house, but as soon as i began to speak at the meeting, i received peculiar assistance from god, felt great peace and joy, and the assurance that the work is of god. after the meeting, s. was given to me. there was purposely no collection, nor did any one speak besides myself; for it was not in the least intended to work upon the feelings, for i sought to be quite sure concerning the mind of god. after the meeting a sister offered herself for the work. i went home happy in the lord, and full of confidence that the matter will come to pass, though but s. has been given. december . this morning i have sent to the press a statement which contains the substance of what i said at the meeting last evening. [for the sake of those who have not read it before, it is given here.] proposal for the establishment of an orphan-house in connexion with the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. since the last report of the operations of the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad was published, the lord has sent us, in answer to prayer, brother john c-r, formerly a minister of the establishment, as a city missionary, who goes from house to house, among the poor of this city, to converse with them about the things of god, to circulate the scriptures among them, to get them to come to the adult school, if they cannot read, and to advise them to put their children to our schools, provided they go to no other. it was particularly gracious of the lord to send this brother, nearly five months ago, as my brother and fellow labourer, henry craik, has been for these eight months laid aside from the ministry of the word on account of bodily infirmity, and has therefore been unable to take an active part in this institution. thus i have not only found great help, but i have been greatly encouraged to enlarge the field. that to which my mind has been particularly directed, is, to establish an orphan-house in which destitute fatherless and motherless children may be provided with food and raiment, and scriptural education. concerning this intended orphan-house i would say . it is intended to be in connexion with the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad, in so far as it respects the reports, accounts, superintendence, and the principles on which it is conducted, so that, in one sense, it may be considered as a new object of the institution, yet with this difference, that only those funds shall be applied to the orphan-house which are expressly given for it. if, therefore, any believer should prefer to support either those objects which have been hitherto assisted by the funds of this institution, or the intended orphan-house, it need only be mentioned, in order that the money may be applied accordingly. . it will only be established if the lord should provide both the means for it, and suitable persons to conduct it. as to the means, i would make the following remarks. the reason for proposing to enlarge the field, is not because we have of late particularly abounded in means; for we have been rather straitened. the many gracious answers, however, which the lord had given us concerning this institution, led brother c-r and me to give ourselves to prayer, asking him to supply us with the means to carry on the work, as we consider it unscriptural to contract debts. during five days, we prayed several times, both unitedly and separately. after that time, the lord began to answer our prayers, so that, within a few days, about l. was given to us. i would further say, that the very gracious and tender dealings of god with me, in having supplied, in answer to prayer, for the last five years, my own temporal wants without any certain income, so that money, provisions and clothes have been sent to me at times when i was greatly straitened, and that not only in small but large quantities; and not merely from individuals living in the same place with me, but at a considerable distance; and that not merely from intimate friends, but from individuals whom i have never seen: all this, i say, has often led me to think, even as long as four years ago, that the lord had not given me this simple reliance on him merely for myself; but also for others. often, when i saw poor neglected children running about the streets at teignmouth, i said to myself: "may it not be the will of god, that i should establish schools for these children, asking him to give me the means?" however, it remained only a thought in my mind for two or three years. about two years and six months since i was particularly stirred up afresh to do something for destitute children, by seeing so many of them begging in the streets of bristol, and coming to our door. it was not, then, left undone on account of want of trust in the lord, but through an abundance of other things calling for all the time and strength of my brother craik and myself; for the lord had both given faith, and had also shown by the following instance, in addition to very many others, both what he can and what he will do. one morning, whilst sitting in my room, i thought about the distress of certain brethren, and said thus to myself:--"o that it might please the lord to give me the means to help these poor brethren!" about an hour afterwards i had l. sent as a present for myself, from a brother, whom up to this day i have never seen, and who was then, and is still, residing several thousand miles from this. should not such an experience, together with promises like that one in john xiv. , , encourage us to ask with all boldness, for ourselves and others, both temporal and spiritual blessings? the lord, for i cannot but think it was he, again and again, brought the thought about these poor children to my mind, till at last it ended in the establishment of "the scriptural knowledge institution, for home and abroad;" since the establishment of which, i have had it in a similar way brought to my mind, first about fourteen months ago, and repeatedly since, but especially during these last weeks, to establish an orphan-house. my frequent prayer of late has been, that if it be of god, he would let it come to pass; if not, that he would take from me all thoughts about it. the latter has not been the case, but i have been led more and more to think that the matter may be of him. now, if so, he can influence his people in any part of the world, (for i do not look to bristol, nor even to england, but to the living god, whose is the gold and the silver,) to intrust me and brother c-r, whom the lord has made willing to help me in this work, with the means. till we have them, we can do nothing in the way of renting a house, furnishing it, &c. yet, when once as much as is needed for this has been sent us, as also proper persons to engage in the work, we do not think it needful to wait till we have the orphan-house endowed, or a number of yearly subscribers for it; but we trust to be enabled by the lord, who has taught us to ask for our daily bread, to look to him for the supply of the daily wants of those children whom he may be pleased to put under our care. any donations will be received at my house. should any believers have tables, chairs, bedsteads, bedding, earthenware, or any kind of household furniture to spare, for the furnishing of the house; or remnants or pieces of calico, linen, flannel, cloth, or any materials useful for wearing apparel; or clothes already worn; they will be thankfully received. respecting the persons who are needed for carrying on the work, a matter of no less importance than the procuring of funds, i would observe, that we look for them to god himself, as well as for the funds; and that all who may be engaged as masters, matrons, and assistants, according to the smallness or largeness of the institution, must be known to us as true believers; and moreover, as far as we may be able to judge, must likewise be qualified for the work. . at present nothing can be said as to the time when the operations are likely to commence; nor whether the institution will embrace children of both sexes, or be restricted either to boys or girls exclusively; nor of what age they will be received, and how long they may continue in it; for though we have thought about these things, yet we would rather be guided in these particulars by the amount of the means which the lord may put into our hands, and by the number of the individuals whom he may provide for conducting the institution. should the lord condescend to use us as instruments, a short printed statement will be issued as soon as something more definite can be said. . it has appeared well to us to receive only such destitute children as have been bereaved of both parents. . the children are intended, if girls, to be brought up for service; if boys, for a trade; and therefore they will be employed, according to their ability and bodily strength, in useful occupations, and thus help to maintain themselves; besides this they are intended to receive a plain education; but the chief and especial end of the institution will be to seek, with god's blessing, to bring them to the knowledge of jesus christ, by instructing them in the scriptures. george muller. bristol, dec. th, . december . i have been enabled to pray all this week with increased confidence concerning the orphan-house, as it regards means, a house, suitable individuals to take care of the children, furniture, &c. december . brother c-n, whom the lord has kindly allowed to stay above two months among us, to supply brother craik's lack of service, left us today. how very gracious has the lord been to us in this affliction! many brethren have been sent to us as helpers for a little while--brother c-t for the greater part of the time, and brother c-n for more than two months. and, in addition to this, when brother craik and i were both ill, the brethren were kept in peace, and there was a spirit of prayer among them. december . this evening we had an especial meeting for prayer and praise. we continued together from seven till after twelve. there have been received into the church at gideon during the past year-- ditto, bethesda-- altogether-- of these , have been brought to the knowledge of the lord through the instrumentality of brother craik and me. there are now, of those who have been begotten again through us, since we have been in bristol, at gideon , and at bethesda --altogether . besides this, several have fallen asleep in the faith, who never were in communion with us, and several of our spiritual children have joined other churches, in and out of bristol, and many are now standing as hopeful characters on the list of candidates for communion. there have been added to the church at gideon, since we came, ; to bethesda, --altogether ; so that the number of both churches would have been ( believers we found at gideon), had there been no changes; but of gideon are at present under church discipline , of bethesda, , altogether, do. have fallen asleep do. do. do. have left bristol do. do. do. have left us, but are still in bristol do. do. so that there are at present in communion with us :-- at bethesda, and at gideon. as it regards the way in which the lord, in his faithful love, supplied my temporal wants, during the past year, i mention that i received-- . in free-will offerings, given through the boxes, as my part £ s. / d. . in free-will offerings given by believers in and out of bristol, not through the boxes £ s. d. . towards the house rent i received from brother craik, in consideration that he has no rent to pay, for nine months £ s. d. . the presents sent to us in clothes and provisions, &c., were worth to us at least £ s. d. altogether £ s. / d. january , . this morning brother craik spoke a little in public for the first time after about nine months. january . today we had three especial prayer meetings, for the full restoration of brother craik's voice. we had also, on january , , , and , especial prayer meetings for brother craik's full restoration. january . today i put into the press another statement, containing a further account respecting the orphan-house. [it is here reprinted.] further account respecting the orphan-house, intended to be established in bristol, in connection with the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad. when, of late, the thoughts of establishing an orphan-house, in dependence upon the lord, revived in my mind, during the first two weeks i only prayed, that, if it were of the lord, he would bring it about; but, if not, that he graciously would be pleased to take all thoughts about it out of my mind. my uncertainty about knowing the lord's mind did not arise from questioning whether it would be pleasing in his sight, that there should be an abode and scriptural education provided for destitute fatherless and motherless children; but whether it were his will that i should be the instrument of setting such an object on foot, as my hands were already more than filled. my comfort, however, was, that, if it were his will, he would provide not merely the means, but also suitable individuals to take care of the children, so that my part of the work would take only such a portion of my time, as, considering the importance of the matter, i might give, notwithstanding my many other engagements. the whole of those two weeks i never asked the lord for money, or for persons to engage in the work. on december th, however, the subject of my prayer all at once became different. i was reading psalm lxxxi, and was particularly struck, more than at any time before, with ver. : "open thy mouth wide, and i will fill it." i thought a few moments about these words, and then was led to apply them to the case of the orphan-house. it struck me that i had never asked the lord for any thing concerning it, except to know his will respecting its being established or not; and i then fell on my knees, and opened my mouth wide, asking him for much. i asked in submission to his will, and without fixing a time when he should answer my petition. i prayed that he would give me a house, i.e. either as a loan, or that some one might be led to pay the rent for one, or that one might be given permanently for this object; further, i asked him for £ ; and likewise for suitable individuals to take care of the children. besides this, i have been since led to ask the lord, to put into the hearts of his people to send me articles of furniture for the house, and some clothes for the children. when i was asking the petition, i was fully aware what i was doing, i.e., that i was asking for something which i had no natural prospect of obtaining from the brethren whom i know, but which was not too much for the lord to grant. as i have stated, that i desire to see clearly the lord's will concerning the orphan-house, by his providing both the means and suitable individuals for it, i will now mention how he has been dealing with me in these respects. december , .--anonymously was given s. in the paper in which they were enclosed was written " s. for the orphan-house, and s. for the scriptural knowledge institution. in the name of the lord alone lift up your banners, so shall you prosper." s. besides was given. december . i found s. in the box, which i had put up two days before in my room for the orphan-house, and a large wardrobe given just before the meeting in the evening, when i stated publicly my desire concerning this object before the brethren. after the meeting s. was given. also a sister offered herself at the same time for the work. december . this morning i received a letter, in which a brother and sister wrote thus:--"we propose ourselves for the service of the intended orphan-house, if you think us qualified for it; also to give up all the furniture, &c., which the lord has given us, for its use; and to do this without receiving any salary whatever; believing, that if it be the will of the lord to employ us, he will supply all our need, &c." in the evening a brother brought from several individuals three dishes, plates, three basins, one jug, four mugs, three salt stands, one grater, four knives, and five forks. december . while i was praying this morning that the lord would give us a fresh token of his favour concerning the orphan-house, a brother brought three dishes, plates, one basin, and one blanket. after this had been given, i thanked god, and asked him to give even this day another encouragement. shortly after, £ . was given, and that by an individual from whom, for several reasons, i could not have expected this sum. thus the hand of god appeared so much the more clearly. even then i was led to pray, that this day the lord would give still more. in the evening, accordingly, there were sent yards of print. also a sister offered herself for the work. dec. . a brother was influenced this day to give s. per week, or l. s. yearly, as long as the lord gives the means; s. was given by him as two weeks' subscriptions. today a brother and sister offered themselves, with all their furniture, and all the provisions which they have in the house, if they can be usefully employed in the concerns of the orphan-house. december . today a sister offered her services for the work. in the evening another sister offered herself for the institution. december . a sister brought from several friends, ten basins, eight mugs, one plate, five dessert spoons, six tea spoons, one skimmer, one toasting fork, one flour dredge, three knives and forks, one sheet, one pillow case, one table cloth; also l. in the afternoon were sent yards of sheeting, and yards of calico. december . i took out of the box in my room s. december . i was rather cast down last evening and this morning about the matter, questioning whether i ought to be engaged in this way, and was led to ask the lord to give me some further encouragement. soon after were sent by a brother two pieces of print, the one seven and the other / yards, / yards of calico, four pieces of lining, about four yards altogether, a sheet, and a yard measure. this evening another brother brought a clothes' horse, three frocks, four pinafores, six handkerchiefs, three counterpanes, one blanket, two pewter salt cellars, six tin cups, and six metal tea spoons; he also brought s. d. given to him by three different individuals. at the same time he told me that it had been put into the heart of an individual to send tomorrow l. december . this afternoon the same brother brought from a sister, a counterpane, a flat iron stand, eight cups, and saucers, a sugar basin, a milk jug, a tea cup, thimbles, five knives and forks, six dessert spoons, tea spoons, four combs, and two little graters; from another friend a flat iron and a cup and saucer. at the same time he brought the l. above referred to. [since the publication of the second edition it has pleased the lord to take to himself the donor of this l., and i therefore give in this present edition some further account of the donation and the donor, as the particulars respecting both, with god's blessing, may tend to edification. indeed i confess that i am delighted to be at liberty, in consequence of the death of the donor, to give the following short narrative, which, during her lifetime, i should not have considered it wise to publish. a. l., the donor, was known to me almost from the beginning of my coming to bristol in . she earned her bread by needlework, by which she gained from s. to s. per week; the average, i suppose, was not more than about s. d., as she was weak in body. but this dear, humble sister was content with her small earnings, and i do not remember ever to have heard her utter a word of complaint on account of earning so little. some time, before i had been led to establish an orphan-house, her father had died, through which event she had come into the possession of l., which sum had been left to her (and the same amount to her brother and two sisters) by her grandmother, but of which her father had had the interest during his lifetime. the father, who had been much given to drinking, died in debt, which debts the children wished to pay; but the rest, besides a. l., did not like to pay the full amount, and offered to the creditors s. in the pound, which they gladly accepted, as they had not the least legal claim upon the children. after the debts had been paid according to this agreement, a. l. said to herself; "however sinful my father may have been, yet he was my father, and as i have the means of paying his debts to the full amount, i ought, as a believing child, to do so, seeing that my brothers and sisters will not do it." she then went to all the creditors secretly, and paid the full amount of the debts, which took l. more of her money, besides her share which she had given before. her brother and two sisters now gave l. each of their property to their mother; but a. l. said to herself: "i am a child of god, surely i ought to give my mother twice as much as my brother and sisters." she, therefore, gave her mother l. shortly after this she sent me the l. towards the orphan-house. i was not a little surprised when i received this money from her, for i had always known her as a poor girl, and i had never heard any thing about her having come into the possession of this money, and her dress had never given me the least indication of an alteration in her circumstances. before, however, accepting this money from her, i had a long conversation with her, in which i sought to probe her as to her motives, and in which i sought to ascertain whether, as i had feared, she might have given this money in the feeling of the moment, without having counted the cost. i was the more particular, because, if the money were given, without its being given from scriptural motives, and there should be regret afterwards, the name of the lord would be dishonoured. but i had not conversed long with this beloved sister, before i found that she was, in this particular, a quiet, calm, considerate follower of the lord jesus, and one who desired, in spite of what human reason might say, to act according to the words of our lord: "lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth." matthew vi. . "sell that ye have, and give alms." luke xii. . when i remonstrated with her, in order that i might see, whether she had counted the cost, she said to me: "the lord jesus has given his last drop of blood for me, and should i not give him this l.?" she likewise said: "rather than the orphan-house should not be established, i will give all the money i have." when i saw that she had weighed the matter according to the word of god, and that she had counted the cost, i could not but take the money, and admire the way which the lord took, to use this poor, sickly sister as an instrument, in so considerable a measure, for helping, at its very commencement, this work, which i had set about solely in dependence upon the living god. at that time she would also have me take l. for the poor saints in communion with us. i mention here particularly, that this dear sister kept all these things to herself; and did them as much as possible in secret; and during her life-time, i suppose, not six brethren and sisters among us knew that she had ever possessed l., or that she had given l. towards the orphan-house. but this is not all. some time after this l. had been given by her, brother c-r, (who was then labouring as a city missionary in connexion with the scriptural knowledge institution, and who about that very time happened to visit from house to house in that part of the city where a. l. lived), told me that he had met with many cases, in which a. l. had given to one poor woman a bedstead, to another some bedding, to another some clothes, to another food; and thus instance upon instance of acts of love, on the part of our dear sister a. l., had come before him. i relate one instance more. august , , seven months and a half after she had given the l., she came one morning to me and said: "last evening i felt myself particularly stirred up to pray about the funds of the scriptural knowledge institution; but whilst praying i thought, what good is it for me to pray for means, if i do not give, when i have the means, and i have therefore brought you this l." as i had reason to believe that by this time by far the greater part of her money was gone, i again had a good deal of conversation with her, to see whether she really did count the cost, and whether this donation also was given unto the lord, or from momentary excitement, in which case it was better not to give the money. however, she was at this time also steadfast, grounded upon the word of god, and evidently constrained by the love of christ; and all the effect my conversation had upon her was, that she said: "you must take five shillings in addition to the l., as a proof that i give the l. cheerfully." and thus she constrained me to take the l. s. four things are especially to be noticed about this beloved sister, with reference to all this period of her earthly pilgrimage: , she did all these things in secret, avoiding to the utmost all show about them, and thus proved, that she did not desire the praise of man. , she remained, as before, of an humble and lowly mind, and she proved thus, that she had done what she did unto the lord, and not unto man. , her dress remained, during all the time that she had this comparative abundance, the same as before. it was clean, yet as simple and inexpensive as it was at the time when all her income had consisted of s. d., or at most s., per week. there was not the least difference as to her lodging, dress, manner of life, etc. she remained in every way the poor hand-maid of the lord, as to all outward appearance. , but that which is as lovely as the rest, she continued working at her needle all this time. she earned her s. d., or s., or a little more, a week, by her work, as before: whilst she gave away the money in sovereigns or five pound notes.--at last all her money was gone, and that some years before she fell sleep, and as her bodily health never had been good, as long as i had known her, and was now much worse, she found herself peculiarly dependent upon the lord, who never forsook her up to the last moment of her earthly course. the very commencement of her life of simple dependence upon the lord, was such as greatly to encourage her. she related the facts to me as i give them here. when she was completely without money, and when her little stock of tea and butter was also gone, two sisters in the lord called on her. after they had been a little while with her, they told her that they had come to take tea with her. she said to herself; i should not at all mind to go without my tea, but this is a great trial, that i have nothing to set before these sisters; and she gave them therefore to understand, that their staying to tea would not be convenient at that time. the sisters, however, i suppose, not understanding the hint, remained, and presently brought out of a basket tea, sugar, butter and bread, and thus there was all that was requisite for the tea, and the remainder of the provisions was left with her. she told me, that at that time she was not accustomed to trials of faith, as she afterwards was. her body became weaker and weaker, in consequence of which she was able to work very little, for many months before she died; but the lord supplied her with all she needed, though she never asked for anything. for instance, a sister in communion with us sent her for many months all the bread she used.--her mouth was full of thanksgiving, even in the midst of the greatest bodily sufferings. she fell asleep in jesus in january .--i have related these facts, because they tend to the praise of the lord, and may be instrumental in stirring up other children of god, to follow this dear departed sister in so far as she followed the lord jesus; but,in particular, that i may show in what remarkable ways the lord proved, from the very beginning, that the orphan-house was his and not mine. i now go on to narrate further how the lord provided me with means for it.] this evening a sister sent five small forms. december . a sister gave me l. december . a friend sent l. weekly subscription of s. december . a sister gave me l. and a friend sent s. d. december . a brother gave this evening a piece of blind line and a dozen of blind tassels. about ten in the evening, a gentleman brought me from an individual, whose name he was not to mention, l., of which i was allowed to take l. for the orphan-house, and to give the other l. to poor believers. december . during the last four days i had received no offerings, and was rather cast down about it, not knowing why the lord dealt thus. yet, in the midst of it, i had a hope, that he was in the mean time working for the orphan-house, though nothing had been given. i was again stirred up to pray, that the lord would appear today. a little after, i saw a brother who told me, that ever since he had received the printed proposal for the establishment of an orphan-house, he had considered the matter, and that he was willing to give for the use of it certain premises, which he built some years since, and which cost him , l., provided there could be raised about l., to add to the buildings what may be needed, to fit them for the purpose. there is a piece of ground belonging to the premises, sufficiently large to build thereon what may be required. the buildings are very suitable for an orphan-house, containing some very large rooms. if, therefore, the lord should put it into the hearts of his people, who have the means, to give this sum of money, the premises will be given. the reason why they are offered under the above-mentioned condition is, that in the state in which they are now, on account of the peculiar purpose for which they were built, they could accommodate only about children, but, by the proposed addition, would be large enough for or . for the present, however, the premises are let, and a notice of six months must be given. if this matter should be brought about by the lord, my prayer concerning a house, which has been repeatedly brought before him since december th, will have been answered. yet i leave the matter in the hands of him, who has the power to give us a place, of which we may take immediate possession, or who can put it into the hearts of his children to pay the rent for a house, or to give us the l. necessary to complete the building.--weekly subscription of s. december . a clergyman gave s. december . a brother at sidmouth sent l. january , . through a sister was given s., being six different donations; also from herself l. as a donation, besides s. as a monthly subscription. also a lady sent through her l. s. as a yearly subscription. jan. . sister sent l. jan. . a gentleman sent s, jan. . weekly subscription of s. through a brother from two friends, s. the same brother brought also one dish, three plates, two basins, two cups and saucers, and two knives and forks. jan. . s., and s. d., and l. were given. this evening some one rang our house bell. when the door was opened, no one was there, but a kitchen fender and a dish were found at the door, which, no doubt, were given for the orphan-house. jan. . s. was sent. jan. . l. was given, also s. a sister offered herself for the work. jan. . from e. g. l. s., and from a brother d. jan. . s. d. was given. in the paper was written, "two widows mites for the orphan-school. in the name of the lord establish it." jan. . weekly subscription s. jan. . d., d., d., d., and d. were given. jan. . an old great coat was given; l. by a brother. a sister in dublin offered l. s. yearly. there was sent a deal box, a small looking-glass, a candlestick, a jug, a basin, two plates, two knives and forks, and a tin dish. all this money, and all these articles have been given, and all these above-mentioned offers have been made, without my asking any individual for anything; moreover, almost all has been sent from individuals concerning whom i had naturally no reason to expect any thing, and some of whom i never saw. upon the ground of these facts, therefore, i am clearly persuaded, that it is the will of the lord that i should proceed in the work, and i shall therefore now state something more definite than i could in the former paper. . if the lord should not provide previous to the middle of february a house in the way of gift, which in a few weeks may be occupied for an orphan-house, or put it into the heart of some one who loves him to pay the rent for one, or to lend us one for this purpose, i intend, god willing, to rent certain suitable premises, which are to be had for about l. yearly. i purpose to take them for a twelvemonth, for that time would be required, before the building could be finished, should the lord provide the above-mentioned l. . it is intended, god willing, to open the institution about april . . it is purposed to confine the orphan-house, for the present, to female children. my desire is to help both male and female orphans, and that from their earliest youth; but hitherto the lord has pointed out only a small commencement. should it, however, please him to give me the means, and to increase my faith and light, i shall gladly serve him more extensively in this way. it has appeared well to me to commence with female children, because they are the more helpless sex, and they need more particularly to be taken care of, that they may not fall a prey to vice. the house which is to had will accommodate about children, which number i intend to receive at once, should the lord give me the means to clothe that number, and to furnish the house for so many; but, if not, i purpose, at all events, the lord willing, to commence the work, though with a smaller number. . it is intended to receive the children from the seventh to the twelfth year, and to let them stay in the house, till they are able to go to service. . as the children will be brought up for service, they will be employed in useful household work. george mÜller. bristol, jan. , . jan. . today brother craik preached once for the first time. jan. . today i went to meet two sisters, who were expected from london. i sat down in the coach office, took out my bible, and began to read; and though in the midst of the noise of the city, the lord most especially refreshed my soul, so much so, that i remember scarcely ever to have had more real communion with him, which lasted for more than an hour. it was the love of christ which led me there. i would gladly have remained at home, to have had time for prayer and reading the word, especially as i had to leave the house early in the morning. yet i went for the lord's sake, and he gave me a blessing: so that, though i had to wait more than two hours, and after all the sisters did not arrive, i was richly repaid. may i but leave myself more and more in his hands! he orders all things well! february . i have been very weak for some days. this evening brother craik was able to preach instead of me, for the first time at the week meetings. how good is the lord in restoring him thus far! feb. . today was a day of thanksgiving on account of brother craik's restoration. we had three public meetings. feb. . i had been repeatedly praying today far a text, but obtained none. about five minutes before the time of preaching, i was directed to rev. ii. , on which i preached with much assistance and enjoyment to my own soul, without any previous preparation; and the word was felt by many to be a word in season. feb. . this evening both churches met at tea together, with the brethren and sisters who intend to leave us in a few days for missionary work. feb. . this evening we had a meeting on behalf of the missionary brethren and sisters. they were by seven brethren commended to the lord in prayer. march . this afternoon brother and sister groves, and the brethren and sisters going with them for missionary purposes, twelve in number, left us for the east indies. in consequence of the journey to the continent, at the commencement of last year, four brethren and two sisters have gone out, two brethren in october last, and two brethren and two sisters today. this evening we had again a prayer meeting for the dear missionary party. may the lord soon give us the privilege of seeing some one of our own number go forth. april . this day was set apart for prayer and thanksgiving concerning the orphan-house, as it is now opened. in the morning several brethren prayed, and brother craik spoke on the last verses of psalm xx. in the afternoon i addressed our day and sunday-school children, the orphans and other children present. in the evening we had another prayer-meeting. there are now children in the orphan-house. may . i have now been for many days praying for the supply of our own temporal wants, and for the funds of the scriptural knowledge institution; but, as yet, i have had not only no answers to my prayer, but our income has been less than usual, and we have had also but very little coming in for the funds of the institution. we have not been able to put by our taxes, and expect them daily to be called for. my clothes also are now worse than any i ever wore, and i have also but one suit. may . i have now been for some years, and especially these last few months, more or less thinking and praying respecting publishing a short account of the lord's dealings with me. today i have at last settled to do so, and have begun to write. may . for these several weeks our income has been little; and though i had prayed many times that the lord would enable us to put by the taxes, yet the prayer remained unanswered. in the midst of it all, my comfort was that the lord would send help by the time it would be needed. one thing particularly has been a trial to us of late, far more than our own temporal circumstances, which is, that we have scarcely in any measure been able to relieve the distress among the poor saints. today, the lord at last, after i had many times prayed to him for these weeks past, answered my prayers, there being l. s. / d. given to me as my part of the free-will offerings through the boxes, two l. notes having been put in yesterday, one for brother craik and one for me. thus the lord has again delivered us, and answered our prayers, and that not one single hour too late; for the taxes have not as yet been called for. may he fill my heart with gratitude for this fresh deliverance, and may he be pleased to enable me more and more to trust in him, and to wait patiently for his help! may he also be pleased to teach me more and more the meaning of that word, with reference to my own circumstances:--"mine hour is not yet came." a third statement, containing the announcement of the opening of the orphan-house for destitute female children, and a proposal for the establishment of an infant orphan-house, was on may th, , sent to the press, and is here reprinted. opening of the orphan-house for destitute female children, established in bristol, in connexion with the scriptural knowledge institution for home and abroad; and proposal for the establishment of an infant-orphan-house. in a previous printed account, a statement has been given of the success with which the lord has been pleased to crown the prayers of his servant, respecting the establishment of an orphan-house in this city. the subject of my prayer was, that he would graciously provide a house, either as a loan, or as a gift, or that some one might be led to pay the rent for one; further, that he would give me l. for the object, and likewise suitable individuals to take care of the children. a day or two after, i was led to ask, in addition to the above, that he would put it into the hearts of his people to send me articles of furniture, and some clothes for the children. in answer to these petitions, l. s. d. and many articles of furniture and clothing were sent, a conditional offer of a house, as a gift, was made, and individuals proposed themselves to take care of the children, the particulars of which have been given in the statement already referred to, dated jan. , . i shall now proceed to show how, since that time, the lord has continued to answer my prayers. january , , there was given d., six yards of calico, three plates, a cup and saucer, and a jug. january , s. jan. , a saucepan and steamer, a tin dish, a teapot, some drugget; also d., and s. jan. . l., also s. jan. . s. d. jan. . a brother gave s., the first fruits of the increase of his salary. jan. . s.; also l., and l. jan. . a brother promised to give l. within a twelvemonth, with the particular object of thus securing the payment of the rent of a house. thus the lord has answered the prayer respecting this point. there were also given l., d. and s. jan. . a form was sent. jan. . a deal table was given, also, anonymously, were sent a coal box and s., also a bedstead. jan. . two little waiters, two candlesticks, two chandeliers, two night shades, a tin kettle, a warmer, a bread basket, a fire guard; also one dozen tin cups, six plates, and s. d.; also s., a water jug, six plates, a sugar basin, a teapot, a tea canister, and a knife. jan. . a frying pan, a tea canister, a metal teapot, a tin dish, a pepper box, a flour scoop, a skimmer, a grater, two tin saucepans, a tin warmer, thimbles, five parcels of hooks and eyes; also l. jan. . l. s.; an old white dress and a fur tippet. february . s., s. d., also a sister in the lord offered today to make the bonnets for the children gratuitously, if any one would buy the straw, and that her husband would make a bedstead, if any one would buy the wood; she also mentioned that they would gladly give both the straw and the wood, if they had the means. feb. . d., d and out of the box in my room was taken s. feb. . s. d., d.; also a desk and a kitchen table; there was also promised a subscription of s. annually. feb. . s. d. feb. . a brother sent l., being induced to do so an having had the former paper read to him. feb. . l. s., s., d., s. d., s., s. d., s., s. d., l. s. feb. . a table and two chairs, s., l., also l. was sent from ireland; s., s., l. feb. . l., s. d., s., s. d., s. d., s., s., s., s., d., s., s. d., s. d., s. d., s. d., s. d., d., d., d., d., d., d., s. feb. . three yards of print, s. d., s.; s., s. feb. . a clothes' horse, a coffee pot, and s.; also a washing tub, a coffee mill, a pepper mill, two dozen pieced of bobbin, three dozen stay laces, two dozen thimbles, two dozen bodkins, needles, a gridiron, six pots of blacking paste, a pound of thread, and a large deal table. feb. . s., l., put anonymously into bethesda boxes, for the orphan-house. feb. . two glass salt cellars, a mustard pot, a vinegar cruet, and a pepper box, also s., d., d., d., d., s. d. feb. . d. s., d., feb. . s. feb. . a bedstead, and by two poor persons, d. feb. . there were sent from london yards of print, six yards of calico, one dozen pocket handkerchiefs, four pairs of stockings, and two new testaments. feb. . two salt cellars, two mugs, two plates, also two pocket handkerchiefs. feb. . l. feb. . s., s. feb. . twelve yards of gingham from two swiss sisters. feb. . s. d., s. d. feb. . l. feb. . l., s., s. march . l., s., s. d., s., s., s., / d., s., s., s., s. d.; also out of the box in my room, l. s. d.; two large iron pots were sent anonymously. march . l., s., s., d., s., s. d., s., s., s.; all these offerings were sent from clapham; also a desk. march . some fancy worsted and s., the produce of the sale of some old map rollers. march . s., s., s., s., s. d., s. d., s., s. d., s.; all these offerings were sent from cleve, also s.; also, from a distance of about miles, was sent the valuable and useful present of five pewter dishes, three dozen pewter plates, three dozen metal spoons, two coral necklaces, a pair of coral earrings, and a large gold brooch--the trinkets to be sold for the benefit of the orphan-house. also from the same place was sent s. "which had been laid up for a time of need, but which were sent because the donor thought that the time of trust in the lord in bristol was her time of need to give." march . s., s. d., s. d., d., d., d., d., d., d., d., s., s. march . l., s. march . a little girl sent, from a distance of more than miles, s. d. march . a brother at plymouth promised to send l., also s. were given. march . d., s., d., s., s., d., d. march . s.; anonymously was sent from london l., also s. d. march . s. march . s., s., d., d., d., d. march . s. march . l. march . a large deal box, also anonymously six dishes. march . s. march . a ton of coals. march . l., l., l., s.; these offerings were sent from trowbridge, also s. from the isle of wight, l., l., l., s., a large piece of green baize, and two metal spoons. march . l., s., d., ., s., s., s., s. d., s., s., also an iron kettle and some drugget. march . s. d., s. d., s., s. d. march . s. april . s., s. d., d., d., also six blankets, two counterpanes, four sheets, eight bonnets, five frocks, six pinafores, with the promise to send also six chemises (sent since). april . s., s., s., d., s., d., s., d., s., s. d., l., l., s., also tippets, three pinafores, one frock, three chemises (two more promised), six flannel petticoats; also six stuff petticoats; also six flannel petticoats (and six chemises promised), also a sheet. april . l., s., d., d., d., d., d., d., d. april . one dozen of washing basins and one jug. april . s. d., s., s., s. d., s. d. april . s., s., d., s., s., also a bench. april . d., d., d., d., s., also three knives and forks, also some marking ink. april . two patent locks. april . s. april . s., d., s., a jug, also twelve bonnets and six tippets. april . a set of fire irons, a tea kettle, a coal box, a tin saucepan, a tripod, a tea pot, three cups and saucers, a wash-hand basin, three small basins, and two plates. april . s., s. april . l., also l. and hymn books. also anonymously were sent two dozen pocket handkerchiefs, also a hymn, "the orphan's hope," in a frame. april . a cask, also a hundred weight of treacle, and pounds of moist sugar. april , s. april . s. d., s. april . a new bedstead. from clapham were sent l. and l., likewise three flannel petticoats, some print, six frocks, four pinafores, seven tippets, caps, chemises, furnished work bags, pocket handkerchiefs, pairs of stockings, one pair of sleeves; besides this, with an orphan child, was sent from clapham, a complete new outfit. april . l., s., s., d., d., d., s., s., also two candlesticks, a pepper box, and a handkerchief. april . s., s., s. d., s. / d., also a long handled brush and d., also an ironing blanket, and yards of flannel. april . l., s., s., a cheese, and pounds of beef. april . s. and eight plates. april . d., d., s. april . d. april . s., also two tons of coal, also two patch-work quilts, work bags and pin-cushions, needle cases, three little bags, one tippet, two pairs of stockings, one kettle holder, also six pairs of worsted stockings. may . s., l., s. may . d., s. d., and a pair of shoes. may . a gentleman and lady, who saw the institution, left six chemises, seven pocket handkerchiefs, two flannel petticoats, four pairs of stockings, and four pairs of gloves; there were also sent thimbles, a gross of buttons, a gross of hooks and eyes. may . s. d., s. may . pairs of worsted stockings. may . s., s. d. may . s., d., s. d. may . s., s., d., d., d., d. may . d., d., d., d., d., d., d., s. may . l., s. d., s. may . a bonnet, also a dish, sent by a poor person in an almshouse; a well-wisher sent, for little orphan boys, six frock pinafores, six little shirts, six frocks and trousers. may . pounds of soap. may . s. s. s. d. may . s. may . out of the box in the orphan-house, s. / d., also s. . it may be well to state, that the above results have followed in answer to prayer, without any one having been asked by me for one single thing, from which i have refrained, not on account of want of confidence in the brethren, or because i doubted their love to the lord, but that i might see the hand of god so much the more clearly. for as the work has been begun without any visible support, in dependence only upon the living god, it was of the utmost importance to be sure of his approbation at the very commencement. . from this statement, and from that contained in the last printed account, it will be seen how the lord, in a great measure, has already answered the petition of december , ; for a house has been given, suitable individuals have offered themselves to take care of the children, and much more furniture, and many more articles of clothing have been sent than i ever had expected. the only part of the prayer, which has not been as yet quite fulfilled, is, that which respects the l., which, however, the lord, i doubt not, will likewise send in his own time. in the meantime, let my brethren help me to praise him, that he has sent already more than one half of that sum, and therefore more than for the present has been needed. . so far as i remember, i brought even the most minute circumstances concerning the orphan-house before the lord in my petitions, being conscious of my own weakness and ignorance. there was, however, one point i never had prayed about, namely, that the lord would send children; for i naturally took it for granted that there would be plenty of applications. the nearer, however, the day came, which had been appointed for receiving applications, the more i had a secret consciousness, that the lord might disappoint my natural expectations, and show me that i could not prosper in one single thing without him. the appointed time came, and not even one application was made. i had before this been repeatedly tried, whether i might not, after all, against the lord's mind, have engaged in the work. this circumstance now led me to lie low before my god in prayer the whole of the evening, february , and to examine my heart once more as to all the motives concerning it; and being able, as formerly, to say, that his glory was my chief aim, i.e., that it might be seen that it is not a vain thing to trust in the living god,--and that my second aim was the spiritual welfare of the orphan-children,--and the third their bodily welfare; and still continuing in prayer, i was at last brought to this state, that i could say from my heart, that i should rejoice in god being glorified in this matter, though it were by bringing the whole to nothing. but as still, after all, it seemed to me more tending to the glory of god, to establish and prosper the orphan-house, i could then ask him heartily, to send applications. i enjoyed now a peaceful state of heart concerning the subject, and was also more assured than ever that god would establish it. the very next day, february , the first application was made, and since then more have been made. . the house mentioned in the last printed account, which we had intended to rent, having been let before any applications had been made, and nothing more having been done about the premises offered as a gift, on account of the want of money needed to complete the building, i rented, at least for one year, the house no. , wilson street, as being, on account of its cheapness and largeness, very suitable, and in which, up to march th, i had been living myself. having furnished it for children, we began an april th, , to take them in, and on april st the institution was opened by a day being set apart for prayer and thanksgiving. there are now children in the house, and a few more are expected daily. they are under the care of a matron and governess. . in the last printed account it was mentioned that we intended to take in the children from the seventh to the twelfth year. but after six applications had been made for children between four and six years of age, it became a subject of solemn and prayerful consideration, whether, as long as there were vacancies, such children should not be received, though so young. for it appeared to me, that if it becomes the saints to care in this way, according to their ability, for those whom god has bereaved of both parents, when they become seven years of age, that it becomes them equally so, to take care of them whilst they are under seven years, and therefore completely unable to help themselves. further, orphan children are often left to themselves, and thus, at the age of or years, have already made much progress in wickedness. therefore i came at last to the conclusion to take in the little girls under seven years of age, for whom application had been made. further, there are exceedingly few institutions in the kingdom, in which infant orphans are received, and provided with scriptural education. further, it has been repeatedly brought before me, how desirable it would be to establish also in this city an orphan-house for male children, and there were even the above-mentioned articles sent for little orphan boys. partly, then, on account of these reasons; and partly, because the institution already opened will be quite filled in a few days, and applications continue to be made; and partly, because the lord has done hitherto far above what i could have expected: i have at last, after repeated prayer, come to the conclusion, in the name of the lord, and in dependence upon him alone for support, to propose the establishment of an infant-orphan-house. it is intended to open this institution, as soon as suitable premises and individuals, to take care of the children, &c., have been obtained. a. it is intended to receive into this infant-orphan-house destitute male and female infants bereaved of both parents, from their earliest days up to the seventh year, and to provide them with food, clothing, needful attendance, and scriptural education. b. it is intended to let the female children stay up to the seventh year in the infant-orphan-house, and then to remove them to the institution already opened, till they are able to go to service. c. it is also intended, as far as the lord may help, to provide for the boys, when they are above seven years, though we cannot at present say in what manner. in proposing the establishment of this second orphan-house, i do it in the same simple dependence upon god alone, as in the case of the former. and feeling my own weakness, and knowing that it is not in my power to give faith to myself, i ask the brethren to help me with their prayers, that my faith may not fail. . to avoid misunderstandings, i would expressly state, that both the last mentioned institution, and the one already opened, are for orphan children living in any part of the united. kingdom. george mÜller. bristol, may , . june . from may up to this day i have been confined to the house, and a part of the time to my bed, on account of a local inflammation, which keeps me from walking. almost every day during this time i have been able to continue writing a narrative of the lord's dealings with me, which had been again laid aside after may , on account of a number of pressing engagements. it is very remarkable, that the greatest objection against writing it for the press was want of time. now, through this affliction, which leaves my mind free, and gives me time, on account of confinement to the house, i have been able to write about quarto pages. may the lord in mercy teach me about this matter! june . i am still getting better. the abscess is now open. this affliction has been, by the mercy of the lord, an exceedingly light one. not one day have i had severe pain, and not one day have i been kept altogether from working. june . i was able to go again today to the orphan-house, and to read the scriptures with the children. this day came three more children, who have made up our number, so that there are now thirty in the house. june . i am, by the mercy of god, still getting better, but, as yet, unable to walk about. all this week i have been again enabled to go on writing for the press. june . today the lord very kindly allowed me to preach again, and that most undeservedly, and much sooner than i could have expected. june . this morning, brother c-r and i prayed unitedly, chiefly about the schools and the circulation of the scriptures. besides asking for blessings upon the work, we have also asked the lord for the means which are needed; for on july , l. s. will be due for the rent of school-rooms, and, besides this, we want at least l. more to go on with the circulation of the scriptures, to pay the salaries of the masters, &c. towards all this we have only about l. i also prayed for the remainder of the l. for the orphan-house. june . we have had, for many weeks past, generally little money for our personal expenses, which has been a trial to us, not on our own account, but because we have thus been able to do but very little for the poor brethren. today, saturday, we have s. left, just enough to pay for a fly to take me to and bring me back from bethesda tomorrow, as i am unable to walk. this money we should not have had, but for our baker, a brother, who refused today to take money for the usual quantity of bread, which we daily take. june . this evening brother c-r and i found, that the lord has not only been pleased to send us, through the offerings which have come in during the last week, in answer to our prayers, the l. s. which will be due for the rent of two school-rooms on july st, but that we have l. more than is needed. thus the lord once more has answered our prayers. june . saturday. we have been again helped through this week, as it regards our personal need, and have s. left, though we had many shillings to pay for driving about. now the lord has put it into the hearts of some of his children, to provide me with a fly every lord's-day, as long as i may need it. july . today a suit of new clothes was given to me, which came very seasonably. may this fresh instance of the lord's loving-kindness lead me to love him more; and may he also be pleased richly to reward those brethren, who have thus ministered to my need! july . today a brother sent me a new hat, the seventh which in succession has been given to me. july . for some weeks past we have not been able to pay the salary of the masters and governesses a month in advance, but have been obliged to pay it weekly. brother c-r and i have lately prayed repeatedly together respecting the funds, but we were now brought so low, that we should not have been able to pay even this weekly salary of the teachers, had not the lord most remarkably helped us again today. for besides l. which was given to us, this evening a brother gave l., which sum had been made up by a number of his workmen paying weekly one penny each, of their own accord, towards our funds. the money had been collecting for many months, and, in this our necessity, it had been put into the heart of this brother to bring it. my faith has been greatly strengthened through this circumstance. for before today, though i have never been in the least allowed to doubt the lord's faithfulness, i did not understand his purpose in his dealings with us of late, in not sending us more than we have needed just to be kept from stopping; and i have sometimes thought, whether it might not be his will, on account of my want of faithfulness in his work, to decrease the field; but now i see, that notwithstanding my unworthiness, his allowing us to pray so frequently, was only that the deliverance might be felt so much the more when it came. july . this evening from six to half-past nine we had again a meeting for inquirers. there came twelve fresh cases before us, and there were six more than we could see. thus we saw, that the work of the lord, even as it regards conversion, is still going on among us. october . today, in dependence upon the lord alone for means, we engaged a brother as a master for a sixth day school. last saturday, for the first time, we were so low in funds, that we needed l. more than we had, to pay the salaries a week in advance; but one sister, on account of the death of her father, as we afterwards learned, was kept from calling for her money, and on the next day we received more than was needed to pay her. on account, therefore, of the many deliverances which we have had of late, we have not hesitated to enlarge the field, as another boys' school was greatly needed, there having been many applications for admission standing these several months past. october . this evening l. was given to me for the scriptural knowledge institution. thus the lord has already given the means of defraying the expenses of the new boys' school for some months to come. october . today, after having many times prayed respecting this matter, i have at last engaged a sister as matron for the infant-orphan-house, never having been able, up to this day, to meet with an individual who seemed suitable: though there has been money enough in hand for some time past for commencing this work, and there have been also applications made for several infant orphans. october . today we obtained without, any trouble, through the kind hand of god, very suitable premises for the infant-orphan-house. if we had laid out many hundred pounds in building a house, we could scarcely have built one more suitable for the purpose. how evident is the hand of god in all these matters! how important to leave our concerns, great and small, with him; for he arranges all things well! if our work be his work, we shall prosper in it. november . on account, as i suppose, of many pressing engagements, i had not been led for some time past to pray respecting the funds. but being in great need, i was led yesterday morning, earnestly to ask the lord, and in answer to this petition a brother gave me last evening l. he had had it in his heart for several months past, to give this sum, but had been hitherto kept from it, not having the means. just now, in this our great necessity, the lord furnished him with the means, and we were helped in this way. in addition to this l., i received last evening a letter with l., from a sister whom i never saw, and who has been several times used by god as an instrument to supply our wants. she writes thus: "it has been so much on my mind lately to send you some money, that i feel as if there must be some need, which the lord purposes to honour me by making me the instrument of supplying. i therefore enclose you l., all i have in the house at this moment; but if you have occasion for it, and will let me know, i will send you as much more." besides these two donations, i received today l. s. december . this day was set apart for prayer and thanksgiving respecting the infant-orphan-house, which was opened on november . in the morning we had a prayer-meeting. in the afternoon, besides prayer and thanksgiving, i addressed the children of our day-schools and the orphans, about , on ecclesiastes xii. . in the evening i gave a further account of the orphan-houses, commencing from the time when the last printed account had been issued, dated may , . the substance of this account was printed, and is reprinted here for the sake of those who are as yet unacquainted with it. further account of the orphan-house for female orphans above seven years of age; and opening of the infant-orphan-house, for destitute male and female orphans under seven years of age. it is now a twelve-month since the proposal for the establishment of an orphan-house was first made. since then the lord has given me almost all i requested of him, and in some respects even more. this was in part stated in the last two papers which were printed on this subject dated january , and may , . of the , l. which i had asked of god on december , , i had actually received on may , , l. s. / d.; and besides this, l. had been promised by two brethren. as it regards premises, articles of clothing, furniture, &c., i had received even beyond my petition. i have now the pleasure of detailing, still further, how god has continued to answer my prayer since may , . may th was given l. rd l. and s. there were also sent two buckets and s. th., s. d., d., s. d. th, one pound of butter, s., s., s. there was also sent s., and in the paper was written: "the history of this money is: a lady was going to purchase a dress. the enclosed sum was the difference between the fashionable one, which took her fancy, and one less fashionable. so she thought, the orphans should profit by this sacrifice of her fancy." may th, there was left at my house a sovereign, and in the paper was written: thess. v. ." [pause with me a few moments, dear reader, before going on with the account. in preparing the third edition for the press, i have been struck with the very many cases in which individuals, who are spoken of in this narrative, are no more in the land of the living. so it is with the two donors of the last mentioned sums. the dear sister who would not indulge her fancy in having a more fashionable dress, but who would rather give the fourteen shillings, which thus could be saved, to the orphans, has been with her lord for more than two years. will she regret not having indulged her fancy in that instance? will she now suffer loss on account of it? surely not!--the dear brother who gave the sovereign, was a gracious devoted clergyman of the city of bristol. he had written in the paper in which the sovereign was enclosed, " thess. v. ." ("brethren, pray for us.") this dear man of god does now no longer need our prayers. he entered into his rest several years ago. yet a little while, dear believing reader, and, if the coming of the lord prevent not, we too shall fall asleep in jesus. therefore, let us work, "while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work." and, "whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might: for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave, whither thou goest."--but how would it be with you, dear reader, if you are unprepared, and should be taken out of the world? let me beseech you to seek the lord while he may be found. jesus died to save sinners. he shed his blood. he fulfilled the law of god, and died the just for the unjust: and whosoever depends for salvation upon his perfect obedience, and upon his sufferings and death, shall be saved; for god has said it.] may th, a fender and two coal scuttles. th, l. th, s. also s. d., with two gowns and a tippet. the brother who left a sovereign with " thess. v. ," gave today s. more; s. d. june st, from a few sisters in dublin, nine pocket handkerchiefs, / yards of stuff, and forty-two yards of print. th, s. d., eighteen little books. th, d., d., d., d. th, s. th, s. d., l. s. d. th, d., s., s., s. th, six pairs of gentlemen's trousers, two coats, one waistcoat, five pairs of socks, two gowns--all worn. th, l., also from a friend in ireland l. th, s. s. s. d. th, s., l. th, s. d., s., s. d., d., s., s. d., s. d., s. d., s. d., s. d. th, a brother at plymouth sent l., l. of which had been previously promised. th, l., d., / pounds of bacon, a form, a chopping knife. th, l. s., s.; s. by sale of ornaments. th, s. also from teignmouth, s., s., s. d., s. d., s. d., s. d., l., s., s. d., s. d., s., together with a gown, a boy's pinafore, a pair of socks, coloured cotton for three children's frocks, two babies' bed gowns, and five babies' night caps. st, l. s., d., d., d., d., d., d., d., twenty pounds of bacon and ten pounds of cheese. d, box in the orphan-house, s. d. th, s. d., s. / d. th, s. th, s. d., s., d., d., s., s. d. th, six straw bonnets. th, s., l. july th, d., d., d., d., s. there was also sent from "two orphans" l., s. d., s., s. d., s. d., s. d., s. d., s. d., s. d. th, s., s. d., d., s., d., s. th, six new cane chairs. th, l., s., s., s. th, s., s. d., s. th, s., s., l., l. th, s., s. th, s. d. th, s. th, there were sent six chemises, which had been promised on april th. also fourteen pin cushions. th, six night caps and petticoats. th, s., s., l., d., d., d., d., d., d., d., d., d. th, l. th, s., s. s. s. also / yards of print, little shawls and yards of flannel. th, box in the orphan-house s. d., d. th, two pairs of shoes. th, s. / d. th, s. d., d., d., d., d. august st, s., l. ., two chemises, three night caps, and ten pocket handkerchiefs; two chemises, three night caps, and six pocket handkerchiefs. nd, d., s., s. d., s. d., s., s., d.., s., s. d., s., d., d., one patch work quilt. th, s. th, s. th, a box, six canisters, and an inkstand, th, s. th, l., s. s. s. d., s. th, d., d., d., d., d., d., s., s. d. th, s. / d. rd, s., s., l., s. d. september st, s. d., s. d., s., s., d., d., d., d., s. d., s. d., s. d., d., d., d., l., l., twelve chemises, one worn stuff frock, d., d., a basket of apples, and three pounds of sugar. rd, l., l. th, s. th, s., s. d. th, s. th, s., s., s., s. d., s. d., s. d., s. d., s. d., s., s. d., s. d., d., d., d., s. d., d. th, l., s., s., pinafores, a basket of apples. th, s., s. d. box in the orphan-house l. s. / d., s. th, d., d., d., d., d, d. th, several numbers of the "record" were sent to be sold for the benefit of the orphan-house, d., d., s., s. d. th, l. was given as "a thank-offering for spiritual mercies vouchsafed to a child." also mr. b-sen., surgeon, kindly offered, today, to give his attendance and medicine gratuitously to the orphans. october st, d., d., d., d. a worn cloak. rd, s., s. d., s. a gallon of dried peas. th, l. s. d. th, s., s. d., s. d., s. d., s. th, s., d., d., s. d. th, / gallons of beer. th, three tippets, d., d., s., s., s., s. d., s. d., s., s., s., s., s., s. d., s. th, s. th, s., d., d., d., d., d., d., d., s. th, l. th, s. th, three frocks, two pinafores, two tippets, three pairs of sleeves, s., s., d., s. th, three tippets. anonymously was sent by post, s., with the request that prayer should be made for the donor, for divine guidance under circumstances of much doubt and anxiety. th, cloth tippets. st, s. november nd, s. d., s. d., s. th, two little cloaks, four quarterns of bread. th, two turkeys, d., d., d., d. there was also given by a brother £ .--£ . of which was previously promised, to ensure the rent for premises. it is a remarkable fact concerning this donation, that i had, in december of last year, repeatedly asked the lord to incline the heart of this brother to give one hundred pounds, and i made a memorandum of this prayer in my journal of december , . on january th, , fifty pounds was promised by him, and on november , fifty pounds besides that sum was given; but it was not till some days after, that i remembered, that the very sum, for which i had asked the lord, had been given. thus we often may receive an answer to prayer, and scarcely remember that it is an answer. when it came to my mind that this prayer had been noted down in my journal, and i showed it to the donor, we rejoiced together; he, to have been the instrument in giving, and i to have had, the request granted. november th, s. s. s. d. th, anonymously was sent a ton of coals, s., one petticoat, two pairs of gloves, two ruffs. th, l., s. d., s., s. d., s. d., s. d., d., d., s. d., s. d., s. d. th, there was given l. for the orphan-house, and l. for the infant-orphan-house. both papers, in which the money was enclosed, contained these words: "if the lord prolongs the life of the unworthy giver of the enclosed, the same sum will be given at christmas."--it has been more than once observed to me that i could not expect to continue to receive large sums; for that persons, when first such an institution is established, might be stirred up to give liberally, but that afterwards one had to look to a number of regular subscribers, and that, if those were lacking, it was not likely that such a work could go on. on such occasions, i have said but little; but i have had the fullest assurance, that it is a small matter for the lord to incline donors to give liberally, a second or third time, if it were for our real welfare. and accordingly the donor, above referred to, added to the first l. another l., and the last mentioned benefactor, to the l., given on a former occasion, added the just mentioned l., with the promise to give another l. at christmas. i would only add on this subject, that there are some subscribers, and even some who give considerably; yet i would state, for the lord's glory, that if they were twenty times as many, i should desire that my eyes might not be directed to them, but to the lord alone, and that i might be enabled to take the payment of every subscription as a donation from him. on the other hand, if there were no subscribers at all, yet the lord, who heareth prayer, is rich to give according to our need.--there was given also today, "a widow's mite," s.--also d. november th, s., also four ducks. for the infant-orphan-house, five frocks, four shirts, four chemises, a bed gown, two petticoats; three quarterns bread. th d., d., d., d., d. th, by sale of trinkets, l. s., s. th, anonymously were sent a boy's cap, a bonnet, a small piece of print. th, four quarterns of bread. st, s., s. d. nd, d., d., d. rd, three frocks, a tippet, six pairs of sheets, three pairs of blankets. th, hymn books, a worn cloak, a new tent bedstead. th, anonymously put into bethesda boxes s. th, s. th, two turkeys. th, s., five yards of blanketing, a worn shawl. december st, a patch-work quilt and five yards of print, d., s. th, l. s. th, s., l. s. th, d., d., a worn cloak, a petticoat, a piece of linen for window curtains. th, box in the orphan-house l. s. / d. th, l. also l. with "mark ix. , ," written on the paper. a most encouraging passage for this work, the force of which i had never felt before.--about a hundred weight of treacle. i. from this statement it appears, that l. s. / d. has been actually given, and that l. is promised. all the money, and all the articles of furniture, clothing, provision, &c., have been given, without one individual having been asked by me for anything, from which i have still refrained, that the lord's own hand might be clearly seen in the matter, and that the whole might clearly appear as an answer to prayer. ii. after frequent prayer, that, if it were the will of god, he would be pleased to send us a matron and governess for the infant-orphan-house, this petition also has been answered. in addition to this we obtained a convenient house for the purpose, no. , wilson street, together with a piece of ground for a play-ground; and we therefore began to furnish it on november st, and on november th we took in the first children. iii. of late it has appeared well to us to employ some of the strongest and eldest girls of the orphan-house in the work of the infant-orphan-house, under the direction of the matron and governess. from this plan it appeared the following advantages would result. st. thus the wages which we should have to pay to assistants would be saved. nd. without any further expense to the institution, we should in this way be able to support five or six orphans more. rd. if thus the bigger girls of the orphan-house pass through the infant-orphan-house, before they are sent into service, they will be accustomed to nursery work, which is so important for young servants. th. this plan would allow us to have the bigger girls longer under our care, as we should have full employment for them. [in the original paper follow eight other paragraphs, containing the audited account and various other points of information respecting the two orphan-houses, which, at the time when this report was issued, were of importance to the donors, but are left out now, as it seems desirable to make this edition of the narrative as concise as may be. this plan has also been adopted concerning the three previous papers, and will be further adhered to.] george mÜller. bristol, dec. , . december . we had this evening a prayer-meeting to praise the lord for his goodness during the past year, and to ask him for a continuance of his favours during the coming year. we continued together till half-past eleven. during the past year there have been received into the church of gideon, brethren and sisters, and into that of bethesda, --altogether . of these , have been brought to the knowledge of the lord through the instrumentality of brother craik and me. there have now been admitted into gideon church, brethren and sisters who have been converted through our instrumentality, and into the church of bethesda: seals to our ministry in bristol. besides this, several have fallen asleep in the faith who never were in communion with us; several of our spiritual children are connected with other churches in and out of bristol; and many are now standing as hopeful characters on the list of candidates for fellowship. there have been added to the church of gideon, since we came to bristol, ; to the church at bethesda, --altogether ; so that the number of both churches would be ( believers we found at gideon), had there been no changes; but: of gideon church are under church discipline ; of bethesda ; altogether do. have fallen asleep do. do. do. have left bristol do. do. do. have left us, but are still in bristol . . do. do. there are, therefore, at present, in fellowship with us at gideon , and at bethesda --altogether . the lord has been pleased to give me during the past year, as it regards my temporal supplies:-- . in offerings through the boxes £ s. d. . in presents of money, from brethren in and out of bristol £ s. d. . through family connexion £ s. d. . besides this have been sent to us clothes, provisions, &c., which were worth to us at least £ s. d. . we have been living half free of rent during the last nine months, whereby we have saved at least £ s. d. altogether £ s. d. january , . this evening the two churches had again an especial prayer-meeting, which was continued till half-past ten. january . today a sister called and told me about the conversion of her father, who, in his eightieth year, after having for many years lived openly in sin, is at last brought to the knowledge of the lord. may this encourage the children of god to continue to pray for their aged parents and other persons; for this sister had long prayed for the conversion of her father, and at last, though only after twenty years, the lord gave her the desire of her heart. it was an especial refreshment to my spirit to hear the particulars of this case, as i had known so much of the sinful life of this aged sinner. january , and february . these two days we have had especial meetings for prayer and humiliation, on account of the influenza, to acknowledge the hand of god in this chastisement, as the disease is so prevalent in bristol. april . there are now children in the two orphan-houses, in each. april . the lord has mercifully stayed the typhus fever in the orphan-house, in answer to prayer. there were only two cases, and the children are recovering. april . this evening we had a comfortable meeting with brethren and sisters over the word. (of late brother craik and i have frequently set apart an evening, generally once a week, to meet with ten, twenty or thirty brethren and sisters, to take tea with them, and to spend the rest of the evening in prayer and meditation over the scriptures. we began these meetings chiefly on account of having thus an opportunity of seeing more of the saints, as the greatness of the number of those in communion with us makes it impossible to see them as often in their houses, as it might be profitable, or as often as we desire. we commenced these meetings in our own houses, choosing those in particular, of whom we had seen little. after we had had several meetings in our own houses, we were invited by the brethren and sisters, and they have asked others to meet us. sometimes also we have proposed those for invitation whom we see but seldom. these meetings we have found both for ourselves and others very useful, and they will, no doubt, continue to be a blessing, as long as the lord shall enable us to precede and follow them with prayer. they are also particularly important as a means of the brethren becoming acquainted with each other, and of uniting their hearts.) may . today i have had again much reason to mourn over my corrupt nature, particularly on account of want of gratitude for the many temporal mercies by which i am surrounded. i was so sinful as to be dissatisfied on account of the dinner, because i thought it would not agree with me, instead of thanking god for the rich provision, and asking heartily the lord's blessing upon it, and remembering the many dear children of god who would have been glad of such a meal. i rejoice in the prospect of that day when, in seeing jesus as he is, i shall be like him. may . lord's-day. the lord, instead of chastising me today for the ingratitude and discontent, of yesterday, by leaving me to my own strength in preaching, and bringing temporal want upon me, has given me a good day. i have preached with much assistance and comfort, and the lord has given me rich temporal supplies: for besides the freewill offerings of l. s. d., a l. note was put into my hand for the supply of any want i may have. thus the lord melted the heart by love, and made me still more see the baseness of my conduct yesterday. thanks be to god, the day is coming, when satan will triumph no more! may . there are now children in the two orphan-houses, and two more are expected, which will fill the two houses. may . the narrative of some of the lord's dealings with me is now near being published, which has led me again most earnestly this day week, and repeatedly since, to ask the lord that he would be pleased to give me what is wanting of the l., for which sum i have asked him on behalf of the orphans; for though, in my own mind, the thing is as good as done, so much so, that i have repeatedly been able to thank god, that he will surely give me every shilling of that sum, yet to others this would not be enough. as the whole matter, then, about the orphan-house had been commenced for the glory of god, that in this way before the world and the church there might be another visible proof, that the lord delights in answering prayer; and as there was yet a part of the l. wanting; and, as i earnestly desired, the book might not leave the press, before every shilling of that sum had been given, in answer to prayer, without one single individual having been asked by me for any thing, that thus i might have the sweet privilege of bearing my testimony for god in this book:--for these reasons, i say, i have given myself earnestly to prayer about this matter since may . on may came in l. s., and on may , l. on may a lady, whom i never saw before, called on me and gave me l. this circumstance has greatly encouraged me; for the lord showed me thereby afresh his willingness to continue to send us large sums, and that they can even come from individuals whom we have never seen before. on may th l. s. was sent, from two unexpected quarters. on may was sent anonymously, a parcel of worn clothes from london and a sovereign. today (may ) i received again l. s. d.; and also a parcel was sent from a considerable distance, containing seven pairs of socks, and the following trinkets, to be sold for the support of the orphans: gold pin with an irish pearl, irish pearls, pine, brooches, lockets, seal, studs, rings, chain, and bracelet, all of gold. june . today i gave myself once more earnestly to prayer respecting the remainder of the l. this evening l. was given, so that now the whole sum is made up. to the glory of the lord, whose i am, and whom i serve, i would state again, that every shilling of this money, and all the articles of clothing and furniture, which have been mentioned in the foregoing pages, have been given to me, without one single individual having been asked by me for any thing. the reason why i have refrained altogether from soliciting any one for help is, that the hand of god evidently might be seen in the matter, that thus my fellow-believers might be encouraged more and more to trust in him, and that also those who know not the lord, may have a fresh proof that, indeed, it is not a vain thing to pray to god. as the lord then has con-descended most fully, and even above my expectations, to answer my prayers, arid to fill my mouth (psalm lxxxi. ,) will you help me, brethren and sisters beloved in the lord, to praise him for his condescension. it is a wonderful thing that such a worthless, faithless servant as i am, should have power with god. take courage from this for yourselves, brethren. surely, if such a one as i am, so little conformed to the mind of jesus, has his prayers answered, may not you also, at last, have your requests granted to you. during eighteen months and ten days this petition has been brought before god almost daily. from the moment i asked it, till the lord granted it fully, i had never been allowed to doubt that he would give every shilling of that sum. often have i praised him beforehand in the assurance, that he would grant my request. the thing after which we have especially to seek in prayer is, that we believe that we receive, according to mark xi. . "what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." but this i often find lacking in my prayers. whenever, however, i have been enabled to believe that i receive, the lord has dealt with me according to my faith. this moment while i am writing (june , ), i am waiting on the lord for l. s., the rent for two school-rooms, which will be due in three days, and i have but l. towards that sum. i believe god can give; i believe god is willing to give it, if it be for our real welfare; i also have repeatedly asked god for it; but as yet i cannot in the triumph of faith praise him beforehand, that he will assuredly give me this small sum. i am waiting at every delivery of letters, at every ring at the bell, for help; i am truly waiting on god, and god alone for it; but as yet i do not feel as sure of being able to pay the rent of those school rooms, as i should, if i had the money already in my pocket. as the lord has so greatly condescended to listen to my prayers, and as i consider it one of the particular talents which he has intrusted to me, to exercise faith upon his promises regarding my own temporal wants and those of others; and as an orphan-house for boys above seven years of age seems greatly needed in this city; and as also, without it, we know not how to provide for the little boys, in the infant-orphan-house when they are above seven years of age; i purpose to establish an orphan-house for about forty boys above seven years of age. but there are three difficulties in the way, which must first be removed, before i could take any further step in this work. . my hands are more than filled already through the work arising from the ministry of the word, the attending to the ordering of church affairs, and the oversight of brethren and sisters. and yet, in addition to this, i have also the work which comes upon me in connexion with the six day-schools, a sunday-school, an adult-school, the two orphan-houses, and the circulation of the scriptures. (this latter part of the work is more and more increasing; for merely within the last seven months copies of the scriptures have been circulated). for these reasons, then, i could not in any degree enlarge the field of labour, except the lord should be pleased to send us a brother, who, as steward, could take from me the work which arises from keeping the accounts, obtaining and circulating the scriptures, giving advice in ordinary matters respecting the orphan-houses, attending to the applications for admission of children in the orphan-houses, &c. but whether there is an orphan-house for boys established or not, such a brother is greatly needed, even as the extent of the work is now, and i therefore lay it on the hearts of the believers who may read this, to help me with their prayers, that such a brother may be found. . in addition to this, it would be needful, before i could take any further step, to obtain a truly pious master for the boys, add other suitable individuals who may be needed to take care of the children. . the third thing by which i desire to be assured, that it is the will of god that i should go forward in the orphan-house is, that he provide the means for such an enlargement of the work. whilst, on the one hand i would confess to the praise of god, that he has been pleased to give me faith to trust in him; yet, on the other hand, i desire to be kept from presumption and enthusiasm. i do not intend to wait till thousands are raised, or till the institution is endowed; but i must have such a sum given to me as is needed to furnish a house for forty boys, and to clothe that number, and to have a little to begin with: without such a sum i should not consider it to be the will of god to enlarge the field. what i ask then from the brethren who may feel interested in seeing an orphan-house for boys established in bristol is, that they would help me with their prayers, that if it be the will of god, he himself would be pleased to remove these three difficulties out of the way. [whilst the preceding pages of the first edition of this narrative were in the press, and before the reception of the last proof sheet for correction, the same friend who gave me on may , , forty pounds for the orphans, and whom up to that time i had never seen, gave on july , , four hundred and sixty pounds more, being altogether five hundred pounds.] review of the last five years, the time that i have laboured in bristol with brother craik. july, . i. some of the mercies which the lord has granted to us during this period. concerning all this time i have most especially to say, that goodness and mercy have followed me every day. my blessings have been many and great, my trials few and small. to the praise of god i will mention a few of the many mercies which he has bestowed on me. . i consider it one of the especial mercies that, amidst so many engagements i have been kept in the ways of god, and that this day i have as much desire as ever, yea more than ever, to live alone for him, who has done so much for me. my greatest grief is that i love him so little. i desire many things concerning myself; but i desire nothing so much, as to have a heart filled with love to the lord. i long for a warm personal attachment to him. . i consider it likewise a great mercy, for which i can never sufficiently praise god, that, whilst during these last five years so many of his children have fallen into great errors, and even those who once ran well, i, who am so faithless to him, should have been kept from them. there is scarcely one point of importance, comparatively speaking, respecting which i have had scriptural reason to alter my views, since i have come to bristol. my views concerning the fundamental truths of the gospel are the same as they were at the end of the year though i have been more and more established in them during these last five years, and have seen more minutely the mind of god concerning many truths. my relish for the study of the word of god has not decreased. . i consider it further an exceeding great mercy, that i have been kept in uninterrupted love and union with my brother, friend, and fellow-labourer, henry craik. very few of the blessings that the lord has bestowed on him, on me, and on the two churches, whose servants we are, are of greater importance. there is not one point of importance, as it regards the truth, on which we differ. in judgment, as to matters connected with the welfare of the saints among whom we labour, we have been almost invariably at once of one mind. (lord, to thee is the praise due for this!!!) we are as much, or more than ever united in spirit; and if the lord permit, we desire to labour together till he come. who that knows the proneness in man to seek his own, and to get glory to himself; who that knows that the heart naturally is full of envy; who that is acquainted with the position which we both hold in the church, and the occasions thereby occurring for the flesh to feel offended:--who that considers these things will not ascribe our union, our uninterrupted union and love, entirely to the lord? let the brethren among whom we labour praise god much for it! let the brethren everywhere, who may read this, praise god for it! this union has glorified god! this union has sprung from god! but, for this union we depend now as much as ever upon god, and therefore let the brethren pray, that god in mercy would give us grace, to put aside every thing that might hinder it. . we have had much joy on account of the scriptural conduct of many of the children of god among whom we labour. the two churches have on the whole shown, in some measure, that even in our day there can be love among the brethren. i do not mean that we have been without trials on account of the behaviour of the saints under our care; nor do i mean to say, that either we or they have followed christ as we might or ought to have done; but only, that we have been mercifully kept hitherto from great divisions; that the cases in which acts of discipline were needed (as the list at the end of the last two years shows) were so few; that we have had much more joy than sorrow on account of the brethren and sisters:--these are matters, worthy to be noticed among the special blessings which god has bestowed on us during the last five years. . another mercy i mention is, that it has pleased god to keep us from some most awful characters, who either actually had proposed themselves for fellowship, or desired to do so, and who, so far as the testimony by word of mouth went, could fully satisfy us. from several such individuals who lived in open sin, we have been kept, by the spirit constraining them to confess, and that, perhaps, even against their own will, their wicked deeds, which they were practicing; in other instances we suspected them, and, on making inquiry, found out their sins. . another mercy which the lord has kindly bestowed on us is, that though neither brother craik nor i am strong in body, yet we have been helped through much work; and, at the time when we were laid aside, the lord made up our lack of service, either by sending help from without, or by putting into exercise the gifts of the brethren among us. at those seasons disunion might so easily have sprung up among the brethren; but the good shepherd of the sheep watched so graciously over the flock, that they were kept together in much love and union, whereby also a testimony was given for god, that their faith stood not in the power of man. . sometimes, when particular trials were laid on us, and things appeared very dark, the lord most mercifully not only supported us under those trials, but also unexpectedly delivered us much sooner out of them, than we could have at all anticipated. may this especially encourage brethren who labour in word and doctrine, or who rule in the church, to trust in the lord in seasons of peculiar trial! . my temporal wants have all these five years been most richly supplied, so that not once have i lacked the necessaries of life, and generally i have abounded; and all this without having one shilling of regular income. i am not tired of this way of living, nor have i even for once been allowed to regret having begun to live in this way. ii. the work of the lord in our hands. . it has pleased the lord to continue to bless the word preached by us to the conversion of many sinners, and there seems to have been no period during these five years, in which this work has been stopped by him. there have come again several cases before us lately, in which individuals have been recently brought to apprehend their lost state by nature, and to see that jesus of nazareth alone can save them. the whole number of those who have been converted through our instrumentality in bristol, and who have been received into fellowship with us is ; besides this, the lord has given us many seals to our ministry in this city, but the individuals are now either only standing on the list of candidates for fellowship, or are united to other churches in and out of bristol, or have fallen asleep before they were united to us. . the whole number of the brethren and sisters, now in fellowship with us, is : at gideon, at bethesda. . it is now three years and four months since brother craik and i began, in dependence upon the lord for funds, to seek to help the spread of the gospel through the instrumentality of schools, the circulation of the holy scriptures, and by aiding missionary exertions. since then there have been circulated through our instrumentality copies of the scriptures; four day-schools for poor children have been established by us; children have been instructed in the six day-schools, and children are now in those six day-schools. besides this, a sunday-school, and an adult-school have been supplied with all they needed, and missionary exertions in the east indies, in upper canada, and on the continent of europe, have been aided. in addition to this the word of god has been preached from house to house among the poor, in connexion with the scriptural knowledge institution, by brother c-r, within the last two years. . there have been received into the orphan-houses orphans, and there are now in them. and now, in conclusion, i would say that the reason, why i have spoken so plainly about the sins of my unconverted days, is, that i may magnify the riches of the grace of god, which has been bestowed on me, a guilty wretch. i have weighed much whether i should do so or not, knowing well what contempt it may bring on me; but it appeared to me, after much prayer, that as the object of this little work is to speak well of the lord, i should say in a few words what i once was, in order that it might be seen so much the more clearly, what he has done for me. i also judged that, in doing so, some, who live at present in sin, might see through my example the misery into which sin leads, even as it regards the present life, and the happiness which is connected with the ways of god; and that they also might be encouraged through what god has done for me, to turn to him. i have made myself therefore a fool, and degraded myself in the eyes of the inhabitants of bristol, that you, my dear unconverted fellow sinners, who may read this, may, with god's blessing, be made wise. the love of christ has constrained me to speak about my former lies, thefts, fraud, &c., that you might be benefited. do not think that i am a fool, and therefore i have told out my heart in my folly; but i have made myself a fool for the benefit of your souls. may god in mercy, for his dear son's sake, grant that these pages may be a savour of life unto life to you! the reason why i have spoken so plainly about some of the sins and errors into which i have fallen since my conversion, and about my answers to prayer, and the supplies of my temporal wants, and some of my family concerns, and the success which god has given to our labours,--is not, because i do not know that it is contrary to worldly custom, and against the interests of my worldly reputation; nor is it, as if i made light of my falls; nor as if i would boast in having had my prayers so often answered, and having been in such a variety of ways used as an instrument in doing the lord's work; but, i have written what i have written for the benefit of my brethren. i have mentioned some of my sins and errors, that through my loss the brethren who may read this may gain. i have mentioned the answers of prayer, that through them they may be encouraged to make known their requests unto god. i have spoken about my temporal supplies, that through seeing how richly god has supplied my temporal wants, since the commencement of , when i left london, they may be stirred up "to seek first the kingdom of god and his righteousness," resting assured, that, in doing so, he will give them what is needful for the life that now is. i have alluded to some family circumstances, that children of god may be encouraged to cast their family burdens upon the lord, in order that, in doing so, they may find him carrying the burdens for them. and lastly, i have written about the success which god has been pleased to grant us in his work, that it may be seen, that, in acting on scriptural principles, we have the lord on our side, and that our mode of preaching is honoured by him. if in anything which i have written i have been mistaken (and what human work is there which is free from error), i have been mistaken after much prayer. whilst writing i have often asked help of god. whilst revising the work, i have still again and again bowed my knees. i have also frequently entreated the lord to bless this feeble effort of mine to speak to his praise, and i have not the slightest hesitation in saying, that, from the earnestness and comfort which i have enjoyed in prayer, and from the sincere self-examination of my heart, i know that god will bless this little work. may i ask you then, my brethren and sisters, who have been benefited in reading this book, to help me with your prayers, that it may be blessed to others. may i also ask you, my brethren and sisters, who think i ought not to have published it, to ask god to bless that which you yourselves consider good and scriptural in it. and, now last of all, brethren beloved in the lord, remember me in your prayers. end of the first part on prayer and the contemplative life by s. thomas aquinas by the very rev. hugh pope, o.p., s.t.m. author of "the catholic student's 'aids' to the bible," etc. with a preface by very rev. vincent mcnabb, o.p., s.t.l. r. & t. washbourne, ltd. paternoster row, london and at manchester, birmingham, and glasgow _all rights reserved_ nihil obstat. j.p. arendzen, d.d., censor deputatus. imprimatur. edm. can. surmont, vicarius generalis. westmonasterii, _die septembris, ._ "te trina deitas unaque poscimus sic nos tu visita, sicut te colimus: per tuas semitas duc nos quo tendimus, ad lucem, quam inhabitas!" s. thomas's hymn for matins on the _feast of corpus christi_. preface the present generation in the fervour of its repentance is like to cast off too much. so many false principles and hasty deductions have been offered to its parents and grandparents in the name of science that it is becoming unduly suspicious of the scientific method. a century ago men's minds were sick unto death from too much science and too little mysticism. to-day the danger is that even the drawing-rooms are scented with a mysticism that anathematizes science. at no time since the days of s. thomas was the saint's scientific method more lacking. everywhere there is need for a mystic doctrine, which in itself is neither hypnotism nor hysteria, and in its expression is neither superlative nor apostrophic, lest the hungered minds of men die of surfeit following on starvation. the message and method of s. thomas are part of that strange rigidity of the thirteenth century which is one of the startling paradoxes of the ages of faith. it is surely a consolation that these ages of a faith which moved mountains, or at least essayed to remove the turk, were minded to express their beliefs in the coat of mail of human reason! the giants of those days, who in the sphere of literature were rediscovering verse and inventing rhyme, and who in every sphere of knowledge were bringing forth the sixteenth and nineteenth centuries, were not so blinded by the white light of vision as to disown the greeks. they made the _ethics_ of aristotle the four-square walls of the city of god; they expressed the mysteries of the undivided three in terms of the syllogism. thus they refused to cut themselves off from the aristocracy of human genius. they laid hands--but not violent hands--on the heritage of the ages. no philosophers have ever equalled their bold and lowly-minded profession of faith in the solidarity of human reason. for this cause s. thomas, who is their spokesman, has now become an absolute necessity of thought. unless the great dumb ox is given a hearing, our mysticism will fill, not the churches, but the asylums and the little self-authorized bethels where every man is his own precursor and messiah. that s. thomas is to be accepted as a master of mysticism may be judged from the following facts in the life of a mystic of the mystics, s. john of the cross: "it has been recorded that during his studies he particularly relished psychology; this is amply borne out by his writings. s. john was not what one could term a scholar. he was, however, intimately acquainted with the _summa_ of s. thomas aquinas, as almost every page of his works proves.... he does not seem to have ever applied himself to the study of the fathers.... as has already been stated, the whole work (_the ascent of mount carmel_) is based upon the view s. thomas aquinas takes of the essence and operations of the senses and of the faculties of the soul, and upon his treatise on the virtues."[ ] s. thomas hardly needs an imprimatur after six centuries of full trust. but in the hard matters of mysticism, which he has treated as a scholar should, it is reassuring to know that he has the approval, not only of the scholars, but of the mystics. vincent mcnabb, o.p. contents introduction question lxxxi of the virtue of religion question lxxxii of devotion question lxxxiii of prayer supplement--question lxxii of the prayers of the saints who are in heaven question clxxix of the division of life into the active and the contemplative question clxxx of the contemplative life question clxxxi of the active life question clxxxii of the comparison between the active and the contemplative life question clxxxvi on the religious state index index of texts quoted or explained introduction the pages which follow call for little introduction. s. thomas has left us no formal treatise on mystical theology, though his teachings on this subject have been collected from his various works and combined to form such a treatise. especially noteworthy is the work of the spanish dominican valgornera.[ ] no such synthesis has been attempted here. we have simply taken from the _summa theologica_ the treatises on _religion_, on _devotion_, _prayer_, and the _contemplative life_, and presented them in an english dress. when occasion offered we have added to each portion appropriate passages from s. augustine, s. thomas's master, and more rarely from the _commentary_ on the _summa_ by the illustrious cardinal cajetan. and we have been led to do this for several reasons. the mystical life is the life of union with god, and it is based essentially on prayer and contemplation. but prayer and contemplation, though simple in themselves, are yet fraught with difficulties and dangers unless we be wisely guided. and as father faber shrewdly says: when we ask for instruction in these things, let us by all means make appeal to those whose names begin with s--let us, in other words, go to god's saints. and the reason is simple: these saints are no mere idle sign-posts who point the way but stand still themselves; they themselves have been where they would have us go; they speak from no mere theoretical knowledge; they themselves have tasted and seen that the lord is sweet! further, it would have been easy to cull from s. thomas's writings the salient points of his teaching on these points, and to have presented them in an attractive form. but had we done so the teachings of the saint would have lost much of their force, and readers might well have doubted at times whether they really had before them the mind of s. thomas or that of the translator. it is preferable to read the bible than what men have said about the bible. unfortunately, it is the fashion nowadays to consider s. thomas's writings "out of date"! if the perusal of these pages shall have induced some few at least to go to the original and study it for themselves they will have more than fulfilled the translator's desires. another reason which has weighed much with the translator and encouraged him to undertake this task has been the suddenly awakened interest in mysticism and mystical studies during the last decade. it has become the fashion to talk about mysticism, even to pose as mystics, and--need it be said?--those who talk the most on such subjects are those who know the least. for those who have entered into the secret of the king are ever the most reticent on such matters. at the same time we may welcome this recent development, if only as a set-off against the spiritualism and occultism which have played such havoc with souls during a space of over fifty years. the human soul, "naturally christian," as tertullian would say, is also naturally divine in the sense that, as s. augustine so often insists, no rest is possible for it save in god. now those who are familiar with the _summa theologica_ are aware that _union with god_ is its keynote, or rather is the dominant note which rings out clear again and again with its ever-repeated _sursum corda_! it is this that gives such special value to the treatises here presented on prayer and the contemplative life. they flow from the pen of one who was literally steeped in god and divine things, and who is speaking to us of things which he had himself tasted and seen. it is this that gives such simplicity and charm to the whole of his teaching. he is not experimenting; he is not speaking of theories; he is portraying to us what was his everyday life. perhaps one of the commonest errors regarding the spiritual life is the confusion between the ordinary and the extraordinary ways of god. for how many does not the contemplative life mean the life of ecstasy and vision with which we are familiar in the lives of the saints? for s. thomas, on the contrary, the contemplative life is but the natural life of a man who is serving god and who devotes a certain portion of his time to the study and contemplation of divine things. ecstasy and vision he treats of in another place. they occupy a sphere apart. they belong to god's extraordinary dealings with favoured souls, and while they presuppose prayer and contemplation on the part of those so visited they themselves form no integral part of the contemplative life; indeed, they are the exception. hence in these pages we shall find nought touching supernatural manifestations, such as visions, ecstasies, and revelations; but we shall find what is of far greater use to us--a catechism on devotion, prayer, and contemplation. * * * * * the main features of the life of s. thomas of aquin are known to most of those who are likely to read this book. his life at first sight seems of such an even tenor that there is but little to record. yet when we penetrate beneath the surface we realize that he lived in stirring days, and that his short span of fifty years was passed in the full light of the world of the thirteenth century. thomas was born in the beginning of the year in the castle of rocca-secca, the ancestral home of the counts of aquino, in the kingdom of sicily. his future glory was foretold to his mother, the countess theodora, by a hermit of that neighbourhood who also foretold that his parents would endeavour to make him a monk in the benedictine abbey of monte cassino, but that god had other designs for him, since he was to be a friar preacher, a member of the order of the great s. dominic who had just gone to his reward. the prophecy was fulfilled to the letter. at the early age of five years he was sent to the abbey to be educated among the young nobles of the day, as was then the custom. even thus early he showed a remarkable maturity of character, and his biographer, william of tocco, dwells with delight on the calm reserve of his childish days and on that eager seeking after god which was to be his future glory.[ ] from monte cassino thomas passed to naples to complete his studies. here he became conscious of his vocation, and offered himself to the dominicans. the prior of the convent at naples at that time was father john of s. julian, who later became patriarch of jerusalem[ ]; he gave the habit of the order to thomas, who was then but fourteen years of age. his parents were indignant at this step, and did all in their power to shake his determination. fearing their recourse to the violent methods then so common, the dominicans sent thomas to the convent of santa sabina at rome. but s. thomas's brothers, at their mother's bidding, seized upon the young man and carried him off in his religious habit to his mother who kept him imprisoned for nearly two years.[ ] during this time of anxiety nothing disturbed the saint's equanimity, and he made good use of his time by studying the bible, the _book of the sentences_--the theological manual of those days--and also aristotle's philosophical treatises. it was at this time that the diabolical attempt upon his virtue was made--an attempt which the saint resisted effectually; in reward for his constancy he was miraculously girded with a cincture by two angels from heaven.[ ] failing in their attempt to shake his determination, his brothers permitted him to escape, and he returned to the convent at naples in . thence he was sent by his superiors to rome, and shortly afterwards to paris and cologne to study under blessed albert the great. at cologne he led the life of a simple student, a life of recollection, prayer, and study. but his extraordinary talents could not long remain hid. the post of bachelor in the famous house of studies at paris was vacant, and at the suggestion of cardinal hugo à s. caro, himself a dominican, s. thomas was appointed by the master-general of the order to the vacant post. this was a blow to the saint's humility, but he accepted it under obedience. the impression made by his teaching was extraordinary, and the words of william of tocco on this point are worth transcribing: "erat enim novos in sua lectione movens articulos, novum modum et clarum determinandi inveniens, et novas reducens in determinationibus rationes: ut nemo qui ipsum audisset nova docere, et novis rationibus dubia definire dubitaret, quod eum deus novi luminis radiis illustrasset, qui statim tam certi c[oe]pisset esse judicii, ut non dubitaret novas opiniones docere et scribere, quas deus dignatus esset noviter inspirare." this novelty in method was evidently remarkable, but, while provoking the attacks of some, it attracted an immense crowd to his lectures, and this not simply by reason of the novelty which characterized them, but by reason of the supereminent sanctity of the teacher. "dilectus deo!" cries out his biographer. "qui scientiam tribuit; et acceptus hominibus, quibus quasi novis radiis veritatis illuxit."[ ] in or thomas was, again much against his will, created master in sacred theology, and the remaining twenty years of his life were wholly devoted to teaching, studying, and preaching, whether at paris or at naples. dignities and honours were frequently offered him, but he succeeded in avoiding them all. he felt that his vocation was to study and teach. and since his teaching was to be of things divine, he felt that he must needs be absorbed in such things, and that his life must be wholly spent with god. this feature of his life is insisted on by his biographers: "men ever saw him of joyful mien, gentle and sweet, not occupying himself with worldly affairs, but ever given to study, to reading, to writing, and to prayer for the enlightening of the faithful."[ ] thus we are told that when brother reginald, who had been blessed thomas's companion, returned from fossa nuova to naples after the master's death to resume the lectures he had been giving there, he burst into tears as he stood before the brethren, and said: "brothers, i was forbidden by my master to reveal during his life the marvels i had seen. one of those marvels was that his knowledge, which so wondrously surpassed that of other men, was not due to any human skill, but to the merits of his prayers. for whenever he would study, or dispute, or read, or write, or dictate, he would first betake himself to prayer in secret, and there with many tears would implore light wherewith to search rightly into the secret things of god. and by the merits of such prayer it came to pass that, whereas previous to his prayer he had been in doubt about the subject of his study, he always returned from it illumined. and when any doubtful point occurred to him before he had had recourse to prayer, he went to pray, and what had previously been obscure was then divinely made clear to him."[ ] truly characteristic of our saint are those three petitions he was wont to make: that he might never learn to love things of earth; that he might never change his state of life; that god would reveal to him the state of his brother reginald, who had been put to death, unjustly, as thomas thought, by the emperor frederic. all three petitions were granted, two of them, as he himself told brother reginald on his deathbed, by the blessed virgin herself. "she appeared to him," says william of tocco, "and assured him regarding his life and his knowledge, promised him, too, that god would grant him whatsoever he should ask through her intercession, and told him, moreover, that he would never change his state of life."[ ] the following story is well known, but is too illustrative of the saint's character to be omitted: a dispute had arisen in the university of paris regarding the accidents of the holy eucharist, and the doctors of the university decided to leave the decision with s. thomas. the responsibility was great, but the saint according to his custom betook himself to prayer and then wrote his answer to the difficulty. "but since he would not dare," says william of tocco, "to expound his opinion in the schools before the masters of the university without first consulting him of whom he was treating and to whom he had prayed that he might teach correctly, he came to the altar and there spread out the pages he had written before him; then, lifting up his hands to the crucifix, he prayed and said: 'o lord jesus christ, who art most truly contained in this wondrous sacrament and who as supreme artificer ever wondrously workest, i seek to understand thee in this sacrament and to teach truly concerning thee. wherefore i humbly pray thee that if what i have written spring from thee, and be true concerning thee, then thou wouldest enable me to declare it and clearly expound it. but if i have written ought which is not in harmony with thy faith and which accords not with the mysteries of this sacrament, then i pray thee that nought may proceed from my mouth which deviates from the catholic faith.' then those who watched saw on a sudden christ standing before the saint and on the paper he had written, and they heard him say: 'well hast thou written of me in this sacrament of my body, and well and truly hast thou answered the question put to thee, as far, that is, as it can be understood by man in this life, or expressed in human words.'"[ ] and it was ever the same throughout his life: in god he sought god. hence his incessant meditation on the holy scriptures; hence his diligent study of the writings of the fathers of the church. "master," said a band of his students to him as they looked on paris spread before them--"master, see what a lovely city paris is! would you not like to be its owner?" and with a saint's simplicity he replied: "far rather would i have the homilies of chrysostom on s. matthew! for if this city were mine then the task of governing it would take me away from the contemplation of things divine and deprive my soul of its consolations!"[ ] and his companion reginald has told us how he studied to know the things of god. for he tells us that when the saint was occupied with his commentary on isaias and could not arrive at any satisfactory explanation of a certain passage he gave himself up to fasting and prayer. then one night reginald heard voices in the saint's cell, and whilst he wondered what this might mean at that hour, s. thomas came to him and said: "reginald, get up, light a candle, and take the book in which you have been writing upon isaias and make ready to write once more." then reginald wrote whilst the saint dictated as though he were reading out of a book, with such facility did he speak. and then, at reginald's insistent petition, he said to him: "my son, you have seen the affliction under which i have been of late owing to this passage of isaias which i have just been expounding, and you know how i besought god with tears that i might understand it. god, then, this very night had pity upon me, and sent his blessed apostles peter and paul whom i had prayed to intercede for me, and they have most fully explained it all!"[ ] how gladly would one know what passage of isaias it was which was thus divinely interpreted! and so this truly marvellous life went on till the end drew near. day by day he ascended the steps of the altar, his face bathed in tears; day by day he returned to his work more and more illumined regarding the _mysterium fidei_, and with his soul still more closely knit to its maker. his ecstasies became more frequent, and in one of these he was told that the close of his life was at hand. for it was at san severino, not far from salerno, that he fell into so prolonged an ecstasy that his sister who was present appealed to reginald to know what had happened to her brother. even reginald was astonished. "he is frequently rapt in spirit," he said, "but never before have i seen him thus abstracted!" "then," says william of tocco, "master reginald went to him, and, plucking him by the cloak, roused him from this deep sleep of contemplation. but he sighed and said: 'my son reginald, i tell thee in secret, and i forbid thee to reveal it to anyone during my life, the close of my writing has come; for such things have been revealed to me that all i have written and taught seems to me of small account. hence i hope in my god that as there is an end to my writing, so too will speedily come the end of my life.'"[ ] and s. thomas was ready for the end, for not long previously, when he was in the convent at naples and was praying in the church, there appeared to him brother romanus, whom he had left teaching at paris. brother thomas said to him: "welcome! whence dost thou come?" but romanus said to him: "i have passed from this life, and i am allowed to come to thee by reason of thy merits." then brother thomas, summoning up his courage, for he had been much disturbed by the sudden apparition, said to him: "if it be pleasing to god, i adjure you by god to answer my questions. first: how does it stand with me? and are my works pleasing to god?" and the other answered: "thou art in a good state, and thy works are pleasing to god." then the master continued: "and what of thyself?" and romanus answered: "i am in eternal life, but i was in purgatory sixteen days because of some negligence of which i was guilty in the affair of a will which the bishop of paris entrusted to me for speedy execution; but i, through mine own fault, was tardy in executing it." lastly s. thomas asked: "what about that question we have so often discussed together: do the habits we have acquired here abide with us when we are in our fatherland?" but the other replied: "brother thomas, i see god, and you must ask me nought further on that question." but thomas at once said: "since you see god, tell me whether you see him with or without any intermediate image?" but romanus replied: "_as we have heard, so we have seen in the city of our god_,"[ ] and forthwith disappeared. but the master remained astonished at that marvellous and unwonted apparition, and filled with joy at his favourable replies. "o blessed teacher!" ejaculates william of tocco, who has left us this account, "to whom heaven's secrets were thus familiar, to whom heaven's citizens came with such sweet familiarity to lead him to those heavenly shores!"[ ] nor was this the only warning. for just as in earlier years at paris he had received divine commendation for his writings, so now again at naples. for brother dominic of caserta tells us that at naples he watched s. thomas praying at night. he saw him, he says, absorbed in prayer, and then lifted up into the air about the height of two cubits from the ground. and whilst for a long space he marvelled at this, he suddenly heard this voice from the crucifix: "thomas, well hast thou written of me! what reward wilt thou have from me for all thy labour?" but he replied: "lord, none save thyself!" at that time the saint was engaged upon the _third part_ of the _summa_, and was treating of the passion and resurrection of christ. but after arriving at that point he wrote but little more by reason of the marvels that god had wondrously revealed to him.[ ] since his soul, then, was thus united to god it is small wonder the brethren saw him rapt in ecstasy and with his face bathed in tears as he stood in choir and sang the _antiphon_ wont to be sung according to the dominican office for compline during lent: "_ne projicias nos in tempore senectutis: cum defecerit virtus nostra, ne derelinquas nos domine_."[ ] in the year the saint was summoned by pope gregory x. to the council about to be held at lyons. he set out, taking with him his _treatise against the errors of the greek schismatics_, for the great question which the pope had at heart was the settlement of the schism between the east and the west. but the council was never to see thomas, for he fell ill when traversing the campagna, and though he was able to reach the cistercian abbey of fossa nuova he reached it only to die. "_this is my rest for ever and ever_," he said as he entered the gates. "_here will i dwell, for i have chosen it._" and here, as he lay dying, he expounded to the monks who stood round that most sublime of all the books of the bible, the _canticle of canticles_: "_behold, my beloved speaketh to me: arise, make haste, my love, my dove, my beautiful one, and come.... i sleep, and my heart watcheth; the voice of my beloved who is knocking!... my beloved to me and i to him who feedeth among the lilies: till the day break and the shadows retire!_" as the time of his summons drew on he asked for the holy viaticum. and, in the words of william of tocco, "when it was brought with devout reverence by the abbot and the monks, he prostrated himself on the ground, weak indeed in body but mighty in spirit, and so came to meet his lord with tears." and when the priest asked him--as it is the custom to ask all christians at death touching their faith in this mighty sacrament--whether he believed that that consecrated host was the true son of god, who came forth from the virgin's womb, who hung upon the tree of the cross, who died for us and rose again on the third day:--with clear voice, with full attention, and with tears, he replied: "if fuller knowledge than that of faith could be had in this life touching this sacrament, in that knowledge i reply that i believe it to be true, and that i know for certain that this is true god and man, the son of god the father and of the virgin mother: so i believe in my heart and so i confess in word." after some other devout expressions he received the sacred host, and then said: "i receive thee, the price of my soul's redemption, for love of whom i have studied, watched, and toiled; thee have i preached and taught; nought contrary to thee have i ever said, neither do i obstinately hold to any opinion of mine own. if, however, i have said ought wrongly concerning this sacrament, i submit it all to the correction of the holy roman church in whose obedience i now pass from this life!" "o blessed teacher! who ran so swiftly in the race, who fought so manfully in the strife, who could so well say with the apostle: '_i have fought a good fight, i have finished my course, i have kept the faith; as for the rest there is laid up for me a crown of justice_'; and such indeed had he truly won by his study of inspired doctrine."[ ] o sancte thoma! scholarum patrone, fidem invictam, charitatem fervidam, vitam castissimam, scientiam veram, a deo nobis obtine. per christum dominum nostrum. amen. * * * * * no one who is at all familiar with the writings of s. thomas can be surprised to find many extracts from s. augustine in the following pages. for augustine and thomas are one. their respective styles are different, but their thoughts and teachings are the same on the great essential points of theological teaching. cardinal aguirre has well said: "owing to the clearness and acuteness of his angelic mind s. thomas sheds a flood of light on many most obscure matters, and brings out very clearly even the most profound teachings contained in the works of the fathers, especially in those of s. augustine. i speak simply from my own experience, but i am certain that many another has felt the same: in controverted matters, if we look merely at the text of s. augustine, we are brought face to face with a flood of difficulties which seem well-nigh insoluble; but the difficulty disappears and the solution becomes clear the moment we set to work to find out what was s. thomas's teaching on the question; for he is the surest and the easiest interpreter of s. augustine."[ ] and indeed augustine is a deep well! "_man shall come to a deep heart!_" he was fond of saying, and those words of the psalmist might stand for a motto at the head of his works. traditionary art represents him with his heart in his hand, and the sentiment is true, for "great-hearted" is the epithet which best suits him, and those who use these pages for meditation or spiritual reading will find that whereas s. thomas teaches how we ought to pray, s. augustine makes us pray; not in vain had he studied and taught rhetoric for so many years! this likeness between the two great saints forms the theme of one of the _responsories_ for the office for s. thomas in the dominican breviary. it is based on a famous vision. "there appeared to me as i watched in prayer," said brother albert of brescia in his deposition, "two revered personages clothed in wondrous splendour. one of them wore a mitre on his head, the other was clad in the habit of the friars preachers. and this latter bore on his head a golden crown; round his neck he wore two rings, one of silver, the other of gold; and on his breast he had an immense precious stone, which filled the church with light. his cloak, too, was sewn with precious stones, and his tunic and his hood were of snowy white. and the one who wore the mitre said to me: 'brother albert, why art thou thus filled with wonder? thy prayers are heard; for--listen: i am augustine, the doctor of the church, and i am sent to thee to tell thee of the doctrine and of the glory of brother thomas of aquin who is here with me. for he is my son; he in all things has followed my doctrine and that of the apostles, and by his teaching he has illumined the church of god. this is signified by the precious stones which you see, and especially by the one he carries on his breast, for it signifies the upright intention which he ever had in view in his defence of the faith and which he showed in his words. these precious stones, then, and especially that great one, signify the many books and works that he wrote, and they show that he is equal to me in glory save only that in the aureola of virginity he surpasseth me.'"[ ] cardinal cajetan, from whose famous commentary on the _summa_ we have occasionally quoted, is unfortunately too little known. born in , and dying in , he was the contemporary of luther and the reformers, and, as was to be expected, their most formidable opponent. a great student, a man of prayer as well as a man of action, his was the striking figure of the early portion of the sixteenth century. but his was a bold and independent mind, and he was not afraid to advance views which, though now commonly accepted, brought his works into a certain disfavour. this is especially to be regretted in the case of his commentaries on the bible. a thorough greek scholar, possessing no mean acquaintance with hebrew, he deserves, by reason of the clearness and precision of his thought, the title of "prince of commentators." here, however, we are concerned with the devotional rather than with the critical aspect of his writings, and the reader will gain from some of cajetan's terse and pithy comments a very great deal of instruction. in conclusion, a few words may be desirable regarding the method of s. thomas. s. thomas divides his _summa theologica_ into three main parts. the _first part_ treats of _god, the exemplar_.[ ] the _second_, of _man made to the image of god_;[ ] the _third_, of _god incarnate_, of his _sacraments_ by which we attain to union with him in this life, and of _eternal life_ to which we attain ultimately by our resurrection. here we are solely concerned with the _second part_.[ ] it is subdivided into two portions, known as the _prima secundæ_ and the _secunda secundæ_ respectively, or as the _first_ and _second_ portions of the _second part_. in the _prima secundæ_ the saint treats of the _principles of morals_--namely, of man's ultimate end and of the habits, acts, and principles by which he attains it. in the _secunda secundæ_, after having laid in the _prima secundæ_ the foundations of moral theology, he proceeds to treat of the _individual virtues_, firstly of the theological virtues, faith, hope, and charity; then of the cardinal virtues, prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance. under each of these heads he treats of the _gifts_ corresponding to each virtue, of the _vices_ opposed to them, and of the _precepts_ regarding them.[ ] apropos of the cardinal virtue of justice, he treats of the moral virtue of _religion_, which is comprised under justice, since religion may be defined as the offering to god the worship which is his due, _question_ lxxxi. he then treats of _devotion_, _question_ lxxxii., and then of _prayer_, _question_ lxxxiii. these three _questions_ we here present in an english dress. after these treatises on individual virtues, he passes to the consideration of those virtues which concern, not men as a whole, but only _certain classes of men_.[ ] and first of all he treats of those _gifts_ which are bestowed upon certain men not so much for their own benefit as for the good of others--viz., of prophecy, of ecstasy, of the gift of tongues, and of the gift of miracles. he then discusses the two kinds of _operations_ or "lives"--the _active_, namely, and the _contemplative_--which find a place in the mystical body of christ, which is the church. these treatises in reality constitute a commentary on cor. xii. - . _question_ clxxix., _on the division of life into the active and the contemplative_, is here given; as also _question_ clxxx., _on the contemplative life_; _question_ clxxxi., _on the active life_; _question_ clxxxii., _on the comparison of the active with the contemplative life_. s. thomas then proceeds to treat of _various states of life_--viz., of the state of perfection, of the episcopal and of the religious state. only one question raised in this connection concerns us here: _whether_, namely, _contemplative religious orders are superior to active orders?_ (_question_ clxxxviii. ). each _question_ is, as will be seen from the _table of contents_, divided into _articles_. the framework of what is termed an "article" of the _summa_ is familiar to those who use that work, but it may not be amiss to explain s. thomas's method in brief fashion. each "article" is couched in the form of a question, thus: _has contemplation its joys?_ and the saint at once sets forth in succession three, sometimes more, arguments which seem to militate against the view he himself holds. these are commonly known as the _objections_. he then gives us a short paragraph opening with the words: _sed contra_, or _but on the contrary_; and in this paragraph he gives some authority, generally that of holy scripture or one of the fathers, for the view he is going to hold. this paragraph is generally known from its opening words as the _sed contra_; there is no argument in it save from authority. he then proceeds to discuss the question from the standpoint of pure reason. this portion is known as the _corpus articuli_, or _body of the article_, and in it the saint presents his reasoning in clear, precise fashion. it will be apparent, of course, that many questions cannot be answered with a categoric _yes_ or _no_, but the precise sense in which certain terms in the discussion are to be used has to be clearly ascertained; according to the diverse ways in which they may be understood the answer will be affirmative or negative. it is important for those not familiar with s. thomas' works to grasp this point; they must not, for instance, presume that because the opening "objections" seem to uphold one point of view s. thomas is therefore going to hold the precise opposite. a good example of this will be found in the article: _ought we to pray to god alone?_ in the treatises here presented the argument, though clear and precise, is hardly what we should call subtle, and this for the simple reason that the subject-matter does not call for subtle treatment. but what cannot fail to strike the most cursory reader is the tone of submission to authority and to the teachings of the fathers which characterizes every page: "_summe veneratus est sacros doctores_," says cajetan, "_ideo intellectum omnium quodammodo sortitus est_."[ ] and the natural corollary of this is the complete self-effacement of the saint. the first person is conspicuous by its absence all through the _summa_, though the reader of the following pages will find one exception to this rule. and the more we study these articles of s. thomas the more we marvel; the thought is so concentrated and yet so limpid in its expression, that as we read it it seems as though no one could ever have thought otherwise. but read it, and then try to reformulate the line of argument which you have been following with such ease--and your mind halts, your tongue stammers! it is one thing to understand the thought when expressed, quite another to think such thoughts and express them. hence the declaration made by pope john xxii. when the question of the holy doctor's canonization was brought forward: "such teaching," he exclaimed, "could only have been due to miracle!" and on the following day in the consistory: "he has brought greater light to the church than all other doctors; by one year's study of his writings a man may make greater profit than if he spend his whole life studying the writings of others!"[ ] the reader will sometimes feel inclined to smile at the quaint etymologies which occur now and again. but he must remember that these are given by the saint for what they are worth. it was not a philological age, and s. thomas made use of the _book of etymologies_ drawn up in the seventh century by s. isidore of seville. besides the writings of s. augustine, two patristic works are cited with considerable frequency by s. thomas in these pages: the _opus imperfectum_ of s. chrysostom on s. matthew's gospel, and the works of denis the areopagite. the former is almost certainly not the work of s. chrysostom, but rather of an arian writer towards the close of the sixth century.[ ] the writer known as denis the areopagite, owing to his being traditionally identified with s. paul's convert at athens, probably wrote about the close of the fifth century. few works of mystical theology exercised a greater influence on the writers of the middle ages.[ ] a word must also be said about the _gloss_ to which s. thomas so often refers, and which he quotes as an authority. the term "gloss" was applied to the brief running commentaries on the bible which were in vogue in the middle ages. these brief paraphrases were also known as _postillæ_, and they were frequently written in between the lines of the text of the bible, whence the name _interlinear gloss_; or in the margins, whence the name _marginal gloss_. the _glossa ordinaria_, as it is called, is the best known of these commentaries. it is usually attributed to walafrid strabo, a monk of the abbey of s. gall, who died in ; but it is probable that strabo took down his commentary from the lips of rabanus maurus, a monk of the abbey of fulda, and afterwards its abbot. rabanus was a most prolific writer, and has left commentaries on nearly all the books of the bible. even when abbot he reserved to himself the chair of scripture;[ ] he had had the great advantage of living for a time in palestine. another biblical scholar to whom the _glossa ordinaria_ of s. thomas's time apparently owed much, was hugo à s. caro, the dominican provincial in france, and afterwards cardinal-priest of s. sabina. it was under his direction that the first concordance of the bible was formed, in which task he is said to have had the assistance of five hundred friars.[ ] he owes his title of glossator to his well-known _postillæ_, or brief commentaries on the whole bible. the _glossa interlinearis_ is due to anselm, a canon of laudun, who died in . another famous glossator was nicolas de lyra, a franciscan who died in --some sixty-six years, that is, subsequent to s. thomas. lastly, we should mention peter the lombard, commonly known as _the master of the sentences_, from his four books of _sentences_, in which he presented the theological teaching of the fathers in scholastic fashion. this treatise became the scholastic manual of the age. to him is due a gloss on the psalter and on job, as well as a series of brief notes on the epistles of s. paul taken from the writings of the chief fathers, s. ambrose, s. jerome, s. augustine, etc. and the authority accorded to these glosses in general is due to the fact that they constituted a running commentary taken from the writings of the fathers and doctors of the church. the breviary hymn to s. augustine. magne pater augustine preces nostras suscipe, et per eas conditori nos placare satage, atque rege gregem tuum summum decus præsulum. amatorem paupertatis te collaudant pauperes: assertorem veritatis amant veri judices: frangis nobis favos mellis, de scripturis disserens. quæ obscura prius erant nobis plana faciens, tu de verbis salvatoris dulcem panem conficis, et propinas potum vitæ de psalmorum nectare. tu de vita clericorum sanctam scribis regulam, quam qui amant et sequuntur viam tenent regiam, atque tuo sancto ductu redeunt ad patriam. regi regum salus, vita, decus et imperium: trinitati laus et honor sit per omne sæculum: qui concives nos adscribat supernorum civium. amen. footnotes: [ ] _the ascent of mount carmel by s. john of the cross._ prefatory essay on the development of mysticism in the carmelite order, by benedict zimmerman, o.c.d., pp. - . (london: thomas baker, .) [ ] valgornera, o.p., _mystica theologia d. thomæ_, ed. berthier. vols. turin, - . [ ] "in ætate tam tenera et scibilium nescia, qui necdum se scire poterat, miro modo deum adhuc nesciens, divino ductus instinctu scire quærebat. de quo futurum erat, ut, dum sic anxius maturius deum præ aliis quæreret, clarius præ ceteris, quæ scire futurus erat, scriberet, quæ de deo, ipso donante, studiosius et citius inveniret" (william of tocco, _vita b. thomæ_ in the _bollandists_, march , no. ). this william of tocco had seen and heard s. thomas, and in took a prominent part in the saint's canonization (see _bollandists_, p. ). [ ] bernard guidonis, _boll._, no. , p. , note. [ ] _boll._, nos. and . [ ] _ibid._, no. . [ ] _boll._, p. . [ ] _ibid._, p. . [ ] _boll._, p. . [ ] _boll._, pp. and . [ ] _boll._, no. . [ ] _ibid._, p. . [ ] _boll._, p. . [ ] _boll._, p. . [ ] ps. xlvii. [ ] _boll._, p. . [ ] _boll._, p. . [ ] _ibid._, p. ; _cp._ ps. lxx, . [ ] _boll._, p. . [ ] touron, _vie de s. thomas d'aquin_, paris, , p. . [ ] _boll._, p. ; _cp._ p. . [ ] _prol._ to ia., iidæ. [ ] _prol._ to iii. _pars._ [ ] _prol._ to iia., iidæ. [ ] _prol._ to iia. iidæ. [ ] _prol._ to _qu._ clxxi. of the iida., iidæ. [ ] _comment._ on iia., iiæ., cxlviii. . [ ] _boll._, p. . [ ] see bardenhewer, _patrologie_, i. . [ ] smith and wace, _dict. of christian biography_, i. . [ ] fabricius, _bibliotheca latina_, _s.v._ walafridus and rabanus. [ ] _ibid._, _s.v._ hugo à s. caro. question lxxxi of the virtue of religion i. does the virtue of religion direct a man to god alone? s. augustine, _sermon_, cccxxxiv. " _on psalm_ lxxvi. _sermon_, cccxi. - ii. is religion a virtue? iii. is religion one virtue? iv. is religion a special virtue distinct from others? v. is religion one of the theological virtues? vi. is religion to be preferred to the other moral virtues? vii. has religion, or latria, any external acts? s. augustine, _of care for the dead_, v. viii. is religion the same as sanctity? cardinal cajetan, on the distinction between sanctity and religion i does the virtue of religion direct a man to god alone? cicero says[ ]: "religion offers internal and external reverence to that superior nature which we term the divine." s. isidore says[ ]: "a religious man is, as cicero remarks, so called from _religion_, for he is occupied with and, as it were, reads through again and again (_relegit_) the things that concern divine worship." thus religion seems to be so called from reading again (_religendo_) things concerning divine worship; for such things are to be repeatedly revolved in the mind, according to those words of proverbs iii. : _in all thy ways think on him._ at the same time _religion_ might be said to be so called because "we ought to choose again (_re-eligere_) those things which through our negligence we have lost," as s. augustine has noted.[ ] or perhaps it is better derived from "binding again" (_religando_); thus s. augustine says[ ]: "let religion bind us once more to the one almighty god." but whether religion be so called from frequent _reading_, or from _fresh election_ of him whom we have negligently lost, or from _rebinding_, it properly implies a certain relation to god. for it is he to whom we ought to be especially _bound_ as our indefectible principle; to him must we assiduously direct our _choice_ as our ultimate end; he it is whom we negligently lose by sin and whom we must regain by believing in him and by professing our faith in him. but some deny that religion directs a man to god alone, thus: . s. james says[ ]: _religion clean and undefiled before god and the father is this: to visit the fatherless and widows in their tribulation; and to keep oneself unspotted from this world._ but _to visit the fatherless and widows_ indicates relation to our neighbour, and _to keep oneself unspotted from this world_ refers to ourselves. hence religion is not confined to our relationship with god. but religion has two sorts of acts. some belong to it properly and immediately, those acts, namely, which it elicits and by which man is directed to god alone, as, for instance, to offer him sacrifice, to adore him, etc. but there are other acts which religion produces through the medium of the virtues which it controls, directing them, that is, towards reverence to god; for that virtue which is concerned with the end directs those virtues which have to do with the means to the end. and in this sense _to visit the fatherless and widows in their tribulation_ is said to be an act of religion because commanded by it, though actually elicited by the virtue of mercy. similarly _to keep oneself unspotted from this world_ is an act commanded by religion, though elicited by temperance or some other virtue. . s. augustine says[ ]: "since according to the genius of the latin speech--and that not merely of the unlearned, but even of the most learned--religion is said to be shown towards our human relatives and connexions and intimates, this word 'religion' cannot be used without some ambiguity when applied to the worship of god; hence we cannot say with absolute confidence that religion is nought else but the worship of god." religion, then, is not limited to our relation to god, but embraces, our neighbour as well. but it is only by an extension of the name "religion" that it is made to embrace our relations towards our human kin, it is not according to the proper signification of the word. hence s. augustine prefaced the words quoted from him above with the remark: "religion, strictly speaking, seems to mean, not any kind of worship, but only that of god." . further, _latria_ seems to come under religion. but s. augustine says[ ]: "_latria_ is interpreted as service." but we ought to serve not god only, but our neighbour as well: _by charity of the spirit serve one another._[ ] religion, then, implies relation to our neighbour. but since a slave implies a master, it follows that where there exists a peculiar and special title of dominion there also will be found a peculiar and special ratio of servitude. it is clear, however, that dominion belongs to god in a peculiar and special fashion, since he it is who has made all things and who holds the chief rule over all things. consequently a special kind of service is due to him. and this service is by the greeks designated _latria_, which is, in consequence, properly comprised under "religion." . again, reverence comes under religion. but man has to reverence, not only god, but his neighbour as well; as cato says: "reverence parents." hence religion establishes a relation between ourselves and our neighbour as well as between ourselves and god. but we are said to reverence those men whom we honour or remember, or to whose presence we resort. so, too, even things which are subject to us are said to be "cultivated" by us (_coli_); thus husbandmen (_agricolæ_) are so called because they "cultivate" the fields; the inhabitants of a place, too (_incolæ_), are so called because they "cultivate" the spots where they dwell. but since special honour is due to god as the first principle of all, a special kind of "cultus"[ ] or "reverence" is his due, and this the greeks call _eusebia_ or _theosebia_, as s. augustine says.[ ] . lastly, all who are in a state of salvation are subject to god. but not all who are in a state of salvation are called "religious," but those only who bind themselves by certain vows and observances and who undertake to obey certain men. hence religion does not seem to mean the relationship of subjection of man to god. but although, generally speaking, all those who worship god can be termed "religious," yet those are specially so called who dedicate their whole lives to the divine worship and cut themselves off from worldly occupations. thus those are not termed "contemplatives" who merely contemplate, but they who devote their lives to contemplation. and such men do not subject themselves to men for man's sake, but for god's, as the apostle says: _you received me as an angel of god, even as christ jesus._[ ] * * * * * _s. augustine_: we are to abide in christ! how then shall that not be now our possession where we are then to abide and whence we are to draw life? let holy scripture speak for us lest we should seem in mere conjecture to be saying things contrary to the teaching of the word of god. hear the words of one who knew: _if god be for us who is against us?_[ ] _the lord_, he says, _is the portion of my inheritance._[ ] he saith not: lord, what wilt thou give me for mine inheritance? all that thou canst give me is worthless! be thou mine inheritance! thee do i love! thee do i wholly love! with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind do i love thee! what, then, shall be my lot? what wilt thou give me save thyself? this is to love god freely. this is to hope for god from god. this is to hasten to be filled with god, to be sated with him. for he is sufficient for thee; apart from him nought can suffice thee! (_sermon_, cccxxxiv. ). _s. augustine_: i cried to the lord with my voice.[ ] many cry to the lord that they may win riches, that they may avoid losses; they cry that their family may be established, they ask for temporal happiness, for worldly dignities; and, lastly, they cry for bodily health, which is the patrimony of the poor. for these and suchlike things many cry to the lord; hardly one cries for the lord himself! how easy it is for a man to desire all manner of things from the lord and yet not desire the lord himself! as though the gift could be sweeter than the giver! (_on ps._ lxxvi.). _s. augustine:_ picture god as saying to you--he who re-created you and adopted you: "my son, why is it that day by day you rise and pray, and genuflect, and even strike the ground with your forehead, nay, sometimes even shed tears, while you say to me: 'my father, my god! give me wealth!' if i were to give it to you, you would think yourself of some importance, you would fancy you had gained something very great. yet because you asked for it you have it. but take care to make good use of it. before you had it you were humble; now that you have begun to be rich you despise the poor! what kind of a good is that which only makes you worse? for worse you are, since you were bad already. and that it would make you worse you knew not, hence you asked it of me. i gave it to you and i proved you; you have found--and you are found out! you were hidden when you had nothing. correct thyself! vomit up this cupidity! take a draught of charity!... ask of me better things than these, greater things than these. ask of me spiritual things. ask of me myself!" (_sermon_, cccxi. - ). ii is religion a virtue? a virtue is that which both renders its possessor, as also his work, good. hence we must say that every good act comes under virtue. and it is clear that to render to another what is his due has the character of a good act; for by the fact that a man renders to another his due there is established a certain fitting proportion and order between them. but order comes under the ratio of good, just as do measure and species, as s. augustine establishes.[ ] since, then, it belongs to religion to render to some one, namely, god, the honour which is his due, it is clear that religion is a virtue. some, however, deny this, thus: . it belongs to religion to show reverence to god. but reverence is an act of fear, and fear is a gift.[ ] religion, then, is a gift, not a virtue. to reverence god is indeed an act of the gift of fear. but to religion it belongs to do certain things by reason of our reverence for god. hence it does not follow that religion is the same thing as the gift of fear, but it is related to it as to a higher principle. for the gifts are superior to the moral virtues. . all virtue consists in the free-will, and hence virtue is called an elective or voluntary habit. but _latria_ belongs to religion, and _latria_ implies a certain servitude. hence religion is not a virtue. but even a servant can freely give to his master the service that is his due and thus "make a virtue of necessity"[ ] by voluntarily paying his debt. and similarly the payment of due service to god can be an act of virtue according as a man does it voluntarily. . lastly, as is said in aristotle's _ethics_,[ ] the aptitude for the virtues is implanted in us by nature; hence those things which come under the virtues arise from the dictates of natural reason; but it belongs to religion to offer external reverence to the divine nature. ceremonial, however, or external reverence, is not due to the dictates of natural reason. hence religion is not a virtue. but it is due to the dictates of natural reason that a man does certain things in order to show reverence to god. that he should do precisely this or that, however, does not come from the dictates of natural reason, but from divine or human positive law. iii is religion one virtue? s. paul says to the ephesians[ ]: _one god, one faith._ but true religion maintains faith in one god. consequently religion is one virtue. habits are distinguished according to the divers objects with which they are concerned. but it belongs to religion to show reverence for the one god for one particular reason, inasmuch, namely, as he is the first principle, the creator and governor of all things; hence we read in malachi[ ]: _if i am a father, where is my honour?_ for it is the father that produces and governs. hence it is clear that religion is but one virtue. but some maintain that religion is not one virtue, thus: . by religion we are ordained[ ] to god. but in god there are three persons, and, moreover, divers attributes which are at least distinguishable from one another by reason. but the diverse character of the objects on which they fall suffices to differentiate the virtues. hence religion is not one virtue. but the three divine persons are but one principle as concerns the creation and the government of things. and consequently they are to be served by one religion. and the divers attributes all concur in the first principle, for god produces all and governs all by his wisdom, his will, and the power of his goodness. hence religion is but one virtue. . one virtue can have but one act; for habits are differentiated according to their acts. but religion has many acts, _e.g._, to worship, to serve, to make vows, to pray, to make sacrifices, and many other similar things. consequently religion is not one virtue. but by one and the same act does man serve god and worship him; for worship is referred to god's excellence, to which is due reverence: service regards man's subjection, for by reason of his condition he is bound to show reverence to god. and under these two heads are comprised all the acts which are attributed to religion; for by them all man makes protestation of the divine excellence and of his subjection of himself to god, either by offering him something, or, again, by taking upon himself something divine. . further, adoration belongs to religion. but adoration is paid to images for one reason and to god for another. but since diversity of "reason" serves to differentiate the virtues, it seems that religion is not one virtue. but religious worship is not paid to images considered in themselves as entities, but precisely as images bringing god incarnate to our mind. further, regarding an image precisely as an image of some one, we do not stop at it; it carries us on to that which it represents. hence the fact that religious veneration is paid to images of christ in no sense means that there are various kinds of _latria_, nor different virtues of religion. iv is religion a special virtue distinct from others? religion is regarded as a part of justice, and is distinct from the other parts of justice. since virtue is ordained to what is good, where there exists some special ratio of good there must be some special corresponding virtue. but the particular good towards which religion is ordained is the showing due honour to god. honour, however, is due by reason of some excellency. and to god belongs pre-eminent excellence, since he in every possible way infinitely transcends all things. hence special honour is due to him; just as we note that in human concerns varying honours are due to the varying excellencies of persons; one is the honour of a father, another that of a king, and so on. hence it is manifest that religion is a special virtue. some, however, maintain that religion is not a special virtue distinct from others, thus: . s. augustine says[ ]: "true sacrifice is every work undertaken in order that we may be joined to god in holy fellowship." but sacrifice comes under religion. every work of virtue therefore comes under religion. and consequently it is not a special virtue. but every work of virtue is said to be a sacrifice in so far as it is directed to showing god reverence. it does not thence follow that religion is a general virtue, but that it commands all the other virtues. . the apostle says to the corinthians[ ]: _do all to the glory of god._ but it belongs to religion to do some things for the glory of god. hence religion is not a special virtue. but all kinds of acts, in so far as they are done for the glory of god, come under religion; not, however, as though it elicited them, but inasmuch as it controls them. those acts, however, come under religion as eliciting them which, by their own specific character, pertain to the service of god. . lastly, the charity whereby we love god is not distinct from the charity by which we love our neighbour. but in the _ethics_[ ] it is said: "to be honoured is akin to being loved." hence religion by which god is honoured is not a specifically distinct virtue from those observances, whether _dulia_ or piety, whereby we honour our neighbour. hence it is not a special virtue. but the object of love is a _good_ thing; whereas the object of honour or reverence is what is _excellent_. but it is god's goodness that is communicated to his creatures, not the excellence of his goodness. hence while the charity wherewith we love god is not a distinct virtue from the charity wherewith we love our neighbour, yet the religion whereby we honour god is distinct from the virtues whereby we honour our neighbour. v is religion one of the theological virtues? religion is considered a part of justice, and this is a moral virtue. religion is the virtue whereby we offer to god his due honour. two things have therefore to be considered in religion. first we have to consider what religion offers god, namely, worship: this may be regarded as the material and the object with which religion is concerned. secondly, we have to consider him to whom it is offered, namely, god himself. now, when worship is offered to god it is not as though our worshipful acts touched god, though this is the case when we believe god, for by believing in god we touch him (and we have therefore said elsewhere[ ] that god is the object of our faith not simply inasmuch as we believe in god, but inasmuch as we believe god). due worship, however, is offered to god in that certain acts whereby we worship him are performed as homage to him, the offering sacrifice, for instance, and so forth. from all which it is evident that god does not stand to the virtue of religion as its object or as the material with which it is concerned, but as its goal. and consequently religion is not a theological virtue, for the object of these latter is the ultimate end; but religion is a moral virtue, and the moral virtues are concerned with the means to the end. but some regard religion as a theological virtue, thus: . s. augustine says[ ]: "god is worshipped by faith, hope, and charity," and these are theological virtues. but to offer worship to god comes under religion. therefore religion is a theological virtue. but it is always the case that a faculty or a virtue whose object is a certain end, controls--by commanding--those faculties or virtues which have to do with those things which are means to that end. but the theological virtues--_i.e._, faith, hope, and charity--are directly concerned with god as their proper object. and hence they are the cause--by commanding it--of the act of the virtue of religion which does certain things having relation to god. it is in this sense that s. augustine says that "god is worshipped by faith, hope, and charity." . those are called theological virtues which have god for their object. but religion has god for its object, for it directs us to god alone. therefore it is a theological virtue. but religion directs man to god, not indeed as towards its object, but as towards its goal. . lastly, every virtue is either theological or intellectual or moral. but religion is not an intellectual virtue, for its perfection does not consist in the consideration of the truth. neither is it a moral virtue, for the property of the moral virtues is to steer a middle course betwixt what is superfluous and what is below the requisite; whereas no one can worship god to excess, according to the words of ecclesiasticus[ ]: _for he is above all praise._ religion, then, can only be a theological virtue. but religion is neither an intellectual nor a theological virtue, but a moral virtue, for it is part of justice. and the _via media_ in religion lies, not between the passions, but in a certain harmony which it establishes in the acts which are directed towards god. i say "a certain," not an absolute harmony, for we can never show to god all the worship that is his due; i mean, then, the harmony arising from the consideration of our human powers and of the divine acceptance of what we offer. moreover, there can be excess in those things which have to do with the divine worship; not indeed as regards quantity, but in certain other circumstances, as, for example, when divine worship is offered to whom it should not, or at times when it should not, or in other unfitting circumstances. vi is religion to be preferred to the other moral virtues? in exodus[ ] the commandments which concern religion are put first, as though they were of primary importance. but the order of the commandments is proportioned to the order of the virtues; for the commandments of the law fall upon the acts of the virtues. hence religion is chief among the moral virtues. the means to an end derive their goodness from their relation to that end; hence the more nigh they are to the end the better they are. but the moral virtues are concerned with those things which are ordained to god as their goal. and religion approaches more nearly to god than do the other moral virtues, inasmuch as it is occupied with those things which are directly and immediately ordained to the divine honour. hence religion is the chief of the moral virtues. some, however, deny that religion is pre-eminent among the moral virtues, thus: . the perfection of a moral virtue lies in this, that it keeps the due medium.[ ] but religion fails to attain the medium of justice, for it does not render to god anything absolutely equal to him. hence religion is not better than the other moral virtues. but the praiseworthiness of a virtue lies in the will, not in the power. hence to fall short of equality--which is the midpath of justice--for lack of power, does not make virtue less praiseworthy, provided the deficiency is not due to the will. . again, in our service of men a thing seems to be praiseworthy in proportion to the need of him whom we assist; hence it is said in isaias:[ ] _deal thy bread to the hungry._ but god needs nothing that we can offer him, according to the psalmist: _i have said: thou art my god, for thou hast no need of my goods._[ ] hence religion seems to be less praiseworthy than the other virtues, for by them man is succoured. but in the service we render to another for his profit, that is the more praiseworthy which is rendered to the most needy, because it is of greater profit to him. but no service is rendered to god for his profit--for his glory, indeed, but for our profit. . lastly, the greater the necessity for doing a thing the less worthy it is of praise, according to the words: _for if i preach the gospel, it is no glory to me, for a necessity lieth upon me._[ ] but the greater the debt the greater the necessity. since, then, the service which man offers to god is the greatest of debts, it would appear that religion is the least praiseworthy of all human virtues. where necessity comes in the glory of supererogation is non-existent; but the merit of the virtue is not thereby excluded, provided the will be present. consequently the argument does not follow. vii has religion, that is _latria_,[ ] any external acts? in ps. lxxxiii. it is said: _my heart and my flesh have rejoiced in the living god._ now interior acts belong to the heart, and in the same way exterior acts are referred to the members of the body. it appears, then, that god is to be worshipped by exterior as well as by interior acts. we do not show reverence and honour to god for his own sake--for he in himself is filled with glory to which nought can be added by any created thing--but for our own sakes. for by the fact that we reverence and honour god our minds are subjected to him, and in that their perfection lies; for all things are perfected according as they are subjected to that which is superior to them--the body, for instance, when vivified by the soul, the air when illumined by the sun. now the human mind needs--if it would be united to god--the guidance of the things of sense; for, as the apostle says to the romans[ ]: _the invisible things of him are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made_. hence in the divine worship it is necessary to make use of certain corporal acts, so that by their means, as by certain signs, man's mind may be stirred up to those spiritual acts whereby it is knit to god. consequently religion has certain interior acts which are its chief ones and which essentially belong to it; but it has also external acts which are secondary and which are subordinated to the interior acts. * * * * * some deny, however, that exterior acts belong to religion or _latria_, thus: . in s. john iv. we read: _for god is a spirit, and they that adore him must adore him in spirit and in truth._ external acts belong, however, rather to the body than to the spirit. consequently religion, which comprises adoration, has no exterior acts, but only interior. but here the lord speaks only of that which is chiefest and which is essentially intended in divine worship. . the end of religion is to show reverence and honour to god. but it is not reverent to offer to a superexcellent person what properly belongs to inferiors. since, then, what a man offers by bodily acts seems more in accordance with men's needs and with that respect which we owe to inferior created beings, it does not appear that it can fittingly be made use of in order to show reverence to god. but such external acts are not offered to god as though he needed them, as he says in the psalm: _shall i eat the flesh of bullocks? or shall i drink the blood of goats?_[ ] but such acts are offered to god as signs of those interior and spiritual works which god accepts for their own sakes. hence s. augustine says: "the visible sacrifice is the sacrament--that is, the visible sign--of the invisible sacrifice."[ ] . lastly, s. augustine praises seneca[ ] for his condemnation of those men who offered to their idols what they were wont to offer to men: on the ground, namely, that what belongs to mortal men is not fittingly offered to the immortals. still less, then, can such things be fittingly offered to the true god who is _above all gods_.[ ] therefore to worship god by means of bodily acts seems to be reprehensible. and consequently religion does not include bodily acts. but idolaters are so called because they offer to their idols things belonging to men, and this not as outward signs which may excite in them spiritual affections, but as being acceptable by those idols for their own sake. and especially because they offered them empty and vile things. * * * * * _s. augustine:_ when men pray, they, as becomes suppliants, make use of their bodily members, for they bend the knee, they stretch forth their hands, they even prostrate on the ground and perform other visible acts. yet all the while their invisible will and their heart's intention are known to god. he needs not these signs for the human soul to be laid bare before him. but man by so doing stirs himself up to pray and groan with greater humility and fervour. i know not how it is that whereas such bodily movements can only be produced by reason of some preceding act on the part of the soul, yet when they are thus visibly performed the interior invisible movement which gave them birth is thereby itself increased, and the heart's affections--which must have preceded, else such acts would not have been performed--are thereby themselves increased. yet none the less, if a man be in some sort hindered so that he is not at liberty to make use of such external acts, the interior man does not therefore cease to pray; in the secret chamber of his heart, where lies compunction, he lies prostrate before the eyes of god (_of care for the dead_, v.). viii is religion the same as sanctity? in s. luke's gospel[ ] we read: _let us serve him in holiness and justice._ but to serve god comes under religion. hence religion is the same as sanctity. the word "sanctity" seems to imply two things. first, it seems to imply _cleanness_; and this is in accordance with the greek word for it, for in greek it is _hagios_,[ ] as though meaning "without earth." secondly, it implies _stability_, and thus among the ancients those things were termed _sancta_ which were so hedged about with laws that they were safe from violation; similarly a thing is said to be _sancitum_ because established by law. and even according to the latins the word _sanctus_ may mean "cleanness," as derived from _sanguine tinctus_, for of old those who were to be purified were sprinkled with the blood of a victim, as says s. isidore in his _etymologies_.[ ] and both meanings allow us to attribute sanctity to things which are used in the divine worship; so that not men only, but also temples and vessels and other similar things are said to be sanctified by reason of their use in divine worship. _cleanness_ indeed is necessary if a man's mind is to be applied to god. for the mind of man is stained by being immersed in inferior things, as indeed all things are cheapened by admixture with things inferior to them--silver, for instance, when mixed with lead. and for our minds to be knit to the supreme being they must needs be withdrawn from inferior things. without cleanness, then, the mind cannot be applied to god. hence in the epistle to the hebrews[ ] it is said: _follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see god._ _stability_ is also required if the mind is to be applied to god. for the mind is applied to him as to the ultimate end and first principle, and consequently must be immovable. hence the apostle says: _for i am sure that neither death nor life shall separate me from the love of god._[ ] sanctity, then, is said to be that whereby man's mind and its acts are applied to god. hence sanctity does not differ from religion essentially, but in idea only. for by religion we mean that a man offers god due service in those things which specially pertain to the divine worship--sacrifices, for example, and oblations, etc.; but by sanctity we mean that a man not only offers these things, but also refers to god the works of the other virtues, and also that a man disposes himself by good works for the divine worship. * * * * * some, however, deny the identity of religion and sanctity, thus: . religion is a certain special virtue. but sanctity is called a general virtue, for according to andronicus,[ ] sanctity is that which "makes men faithful observers of what is justly due to god." hence sanctity is not the same as religion. but sanctity is in its essence a special virtue, and as such is, in a sort, the same as religion. it has, however, a certain general aspect in that, by its commands, it directs all the acts of the virtues to the divine good. in the same way legal justice is termed a general virtue in that it directs the acts of all the virtues to the common good. . sanctity seems to imply cleanness, for s. denis says[ ]: "sanctity is freedom from all impurity; it is perfect and stainless cleanness." cleanness, however, seems to come under temperance, for this it is which precludes bodily defilement. since, then, religion comes under justice, sanctity cannot be identified with religion. temperance indeed worketh cleanness, but this has not the ratio of sanctity except it be referred to god. hence s. augustine says of virginity itself that "not because it is virginity is it held in honour, but because it is consecrated to god."[ ] . lastly, things that are contradistinguished are not identical. but in all enumerations of the parts of justice sanctity is set against religion. but sanctity is set against religion because of the difference aforesaid; they differ indeed in idea, not in substance. * * * * * _cajetan:_ religion is directly concerned with those things which specially pertain to the divine worship--ceremonies, for example, sacrifices, oblations, etc. whereas sanctity directly regards the mind, and through the mind the other virtuous works, including those of religion ... for it makes use of them so as thereby to apply the mind--and by consequence all acts that proceed from the human mind--to god. thus we see that many religious people are not saints, whereas all saints are religious. for people who devote themselves to ceremonies, sacrifices, etc., can be termed religious; but they can only be called saints in so far as by means of these things they give themselves interiorly to god (_on_ . . . ). footnotes: [ ] _de invent. rhetor._, ii. . [ ] _etymolog._, x. _sub litt._ r. [ ] _of the city of god_, x. . [ ] _of the true religion_, lv. [ ] st. jas. i. . [ ] _of the city of god_, x. . [ ] _of the city of god_, x. . [ ] gal. v. . [ ] the objection and its solution turn upon the latin words _cultus_ and _colere_, which cannot be consistently rendered in english; "reverence" is perhaps the most appropriate translation here. [ ] _of the city of god_, x. . [ ] gal. iv. . [ ] rom. viii. . [ ] ps. xv. . [ ] ps. lxxvi. . [ ] _of the nature of good_, iii. [ ] _fear_ is one of the "gifts" of the holy ghost. [ ] s. jerome, _ep._ liv., _alias_ x., _ad furiam_. [ ] ii., vi. . [ ] iv. - . [ ] i. . [ ] the latin word _ordinare_ means "to set in due order"; there is no precise english equivalent which can be consistently employed. [ ] _of the city of god_, x. . [ ] ii. x. . [ ] viii. viii. . [ ] . . qu. ii., art. . [ ] _enchiridion_, iii. [ ] xliii. . [ ] xx. - . [ ] _ethics_, ii. vi. [ ] lviii. . [ ] ps. xv. . [ ] cor. ix. . [ ] see p. . [ ] i. . [ ] ps. xlix. . [ ] _of the city of god_, x. . [ ] _ibid._, vi. . [ ] ps. xciv. . [ ] i. - . [ ] thus origen, _hom._ xi, i. _in leviticum_, where, however, he is not really giving an etymology. [ ] x., _sub litt._ s. [ ] xii. . [ ] rom. viii. - . [ ] _de affectibus_. [ ] _of the divine names_, xii. [ ] _of virginity_, viii. question lxxxii of devotion i. is devotion a special kind of act? cardinal cajetan, on the meaning of the term "devotion" s. augustine, _confessions_, xiii. viii. ii. is devotion an act of the virtue of religion? iii. is contemplation, that is meditation, the cause of devotion? cardinal cajetan, on the causes of devotion " " on the devotion of women iv. is joy an effect of devotion? cardinal cajetan, on melancholy s. augustine, _confessions_, ii. x. i is devotion a special kind of act? it is by our acts that we merit. but devotion has a peculiarly meritorious character. consequently devotion is a special kind of act. devotion is so termed from "devoting" oneself. hence the "devout" are so named because they "devote" themselves to god and thus proclaim their complete subjection to him. thus, too, among the heathen of old those were termed "devout" who for the army's sake "devoted" themselves to their idols unto death, as livy[ ] tells us was the case with the two decii. hence devotion seems to mean nothing else than "the will to give oneself promptly to those things which pertain to god's service"; thus it is said in exodus[ ]: _the multitude of the children of israel ... offered first-fruits to the lord with a most ready and devout mind._ it is clear, however, that a wish to do _readily_ what belongs to god's service is a special act. hence devotion is a special act of the will. but some argue that devotion is not a special kind of act, thus: . that which serves to qualify other acts cannot be itself a special act. but devotion appears to qualify certain other acts; thus it is said that _all the multitude offered victims, and praises, and holocausts with a devout mind_.[ ] but that which moves another gives a certain measure to the latter's movement. the will, however, moves the other faculties of the soul to their respective acts; and, moreover, the will, as aiming at an end in view, moves itself to the means towards that end. consequently, since devotion is the act of a man who offers himself to serve him who is the ultimate end, it follows that devotion gives a certain measure to human acts--whether they be the acts of the will itself with regard to the means to an end, or the acts of the other faculties as moved by the will. . again, no act which finds a place in different kinds of acts can be itself a special kind of act. but devotion is to be found in acts of different kinds, both in corporal acts, for example, and in spiritual; thus a man is said to meditate devoutly, for instance, or to genuflect devoutly. but devotion does not find a place in different kinds of acts as though it were a _species_ coming under different _genera_, but in the same sense as the motive power of a moving principle is virtually discoverable in the movements of the things it sets in motion. . lastly, all special kinds of acts belong either to the appetitive or to the cognoscitive faculties. but devotion comes under neither of these--as will be evident to anyone who will reflect upon the various acts of these faculties respectively. but devotion is an act of the appetitive powers of the soul, and is, as we have said above, a movement of the will. _cajetan:_ with regard to the proper meaning of the term _devotion_, note that since _devotion_ is clearly derived from _devoting_, and since _to devote_--derived in its turn from _to vow_--means to promise something spontaneously to god: it follows that the principle in all such promises is the will; and further, not the will simply as such, but the will so affected as to be prompt. hence in latin those are said to be _devoted_ to some superior whose will is so affected towards him as to make them prompt in his regard. and this seems to refer especially to god and to those who in a sense stand in his place, as, for instance, our rulers, our fatherland, and our principles of action. hence in the church's usage the term _devotion_ is especially applied to those who are so affected towards god as to be prompt in his regard and in all that concerns him. and so _devotion_ is here taken to signify the act of a will so disposed, the act by which a man shows himself prompt in the divine service.... thus, then, _devotion_, the principal act of the virtue of religion, implies first of all the prompt desire of the divine honour in our exercise of divine worship; and hence comes the prompt choice of appropriate means to this end, and also the prompt carrying out of what we see to be suitable to that end. and the proof of possession of such _devotion_ is that truly devout souls, the moment they perceive that some particular thing (or other) ought to be done for the service of god, are so promptly moved towards it that they rejoice in having to do or in actually doing it (_on_ . . . ). _s. augustine:_ give me, o lord, thyself; grant thyself to me! for thee do i love, and if my love be but weak, then would i love thee more. for i cannot measure it so as to know how much my love falls short of that love which shall make my life run to thy embraces nor ever turn away from thee till i be hid in the hiding-place of thy countenance. this only do i know: that it fares ill with me when away from thee; and this not merely externally, but within me; for all abundance which is not my god is but penury for me! (_confessions_, xiii. viii. ). ii is devotion an act of the virtue of religion? devotion is derived from "devoting oneself" or making vows. but a vow is an act of the virtue of religion. consequently devotion also is an act of the virtue of religion. it belongs to the same virtue to wish to do a thing and to have a prompt will to do it, for the object of each of these acts is the same. for this reason the philosopher says[ ]: "justice is that by which men will and perform just deeds." and it is clear that to perform those things which pertain to the divine worship or service comes under the virtue of religion. consequently it belongs to the same virtue of religion to have a prompt will to carry out these things--in other words, to be devout. whence it follows that devotion is an act of the virtue of religion. but some argue that devotion is not an act of the virtue of religion, thus: . devotion means that a man gives himself to god. but this belongs to the virtue of charity, for, as s. denis says[ ]: "divine love causes ecstasy since it permits not that those who love should belong any more to themselves, but to those things which they love." whence devotion would seem to be rather an act of charity than of the virtue of religion. it is indeed through charity that a man gives himself to god, clinging to him by a certain union of soul; but that a man should give himself to god and occupy himself with the divine service, is due directly to the virtue of religion, though indirectly it is due to the virtue of charity, which is the principle of the virtue of religion. . again, charity precedes the virtue of religion. but devotion seems to precede charity; for charity is signified in scripture by fire, and devotion by the fat of the sacrifices--the material on which the fire feeds. consequently devotion is not an act of the virtue of religion. but while the fat of the body is generated by the natural digestive heat, that natural heat finds its nourishment in that same fat. similarly charity both causes devotion--since it is by love that a man becomes prompt to serve his friend--and at the same time charity is fed by devotion; just as all friendship is preserved and increased by the practice of friendly acts and by meditating upon them. . lastly, by the virtue of religion a man turns to god alone. but devotion extends to men as well; people, for instance, are said to be devoted to certain saints, and servants are said to be devoted to their masters, as s. leo says of the jews,[ ] that being devoted to the roman laws, they said: _we have no king but cæsar._[ ] consequently devotion is not an act of the virtue of religion. but the devotion which we have to the saints of god, whether living or dead, does not stop at them, but passes on to god, since we venerate god in god's ministers. and the devotion which subjects have to their temporal masters is of a different kind altogether, just as the service of temporal masters differs from the service of the divine master. iii is contemplation, that is meditation, the cause of devotion? in ps. xxxviii. it is said: _and in my meditation a fire shall flame out._ but spiritual fire causes devotion. therefore meditation causes devotion. the extrinsic and principal cause of devotion is god himself; thus s. ambrose says[ ]: "god calls those whom he deigns to call; and whom he wills to make religious he makes religious; and had he willed it he would have made the samaritans devout instead of indevout." but the intrinsic cause of devotion on our part is meditation or contemplation. for, as we have said, devotion is a certain act of the will by which a man gives himself promptly to the divine service. all acts of the will, however, proceed from consideration, since the will's object is good understood. hence s. augustine says[ ]: "the will starts from the understanding." meditation must, then, be the cause of devotion inasmuch as it is from meditation that a man conceives the idea of giving himself up to god. and two considerations lead a man to do this: one is the consideration of the divine goodness and of his benefits, whence the words of the psalmist: _but for me it is good to cling close to my god, to put my hope in the lord god._[ ] and this consideration begets love, which is the proximate cause of devotion. and the second is man's consideration of his own defects which compel him to lean upon god, according to the words: _i have lifted up mine eyes to the mountains, from whence help shall come to me; my help is from the lord who made heaven and earth._[ ] this latter consideration excludes all presumption which, by making him lean upon himself, might prevent a man from submitting himself to god. some, however, argue that contemplation or meditation is not the cause of devotion, thus: . no cause hinders its own effect. but subtle intellectual meditations often hinder devotion. but it is the consideration of those things which naturally tend to excite love of god which begets devotion; consideration of things which do not come under this head, but rather distract the mind from it, are a hindrance to devotion. . again, if contemplation were the real cause of devotion, it should follow that the higher the matter of our contemplation the greater the devotion it begot. but the opposite is the case. for it frequently happens that greater devotion is aroused by the contemplation of the passion of christ and of the other mysteries of his sacred humanity than by meditation upon the divine excellences. it is true that things which concern the godhead are of themselves more calculated to excite in us love, and consequently devotion, since god is to be loved above all things; yet it is due to the weakness of the human mind that just as it needs to be led by the hand to the knowledge of divine things, so also must it be lead to divine love by means of the things of sense already known to it; and the chief of these things is the humanity of christ, as is said in the _preface_ of the mass: _so that knowing god visibly in the flesh, we may thereby be carried away to the love of things invisible._ consequently the things that have to do with christ's humanity lead us, as it were, by the hand and are thus especially suited to stir up devotion in us; though, none the less, devotion is principally concerned with the divinity. . lastly, if contemplation were the real cause of devotion, it ought to follow that those who are the more fitted for contemplation are also the more fitted for devotion; whereas the contrary is the case, for greater devotion is often found among simple folk and in the female sex, where contemplation is wanting. but knowledge, as indeed anything which renders a person great, occasions a man to trust in himself, and hence he does not wholly give himself to god. it is for this reason that knowledge and suchlike things are sometimes a hindrance to a man's devotion, whereas among women and simple folk devotion abounds by the suppression of all elation. but if a man will only perfectly subject to god his knowledge and any other perfection he may have, then his devotion will increase. * * * * * _cajetan:_ note these two intrinsic causes of devotion: one, namely, which arises from meditation upon god and his benefits, the other from meditation on our own defects. under the first head i must consider god's goodness, mercy, and kindness towards mankind and towards myself; the benefits, for instance, of creation according to his own likeness, of redemption, of baptism, of his inspirations, of his invitations-- whether directly or through the medium of others; his patient waiting till i do penance; his holy eucharist; his preserving me from so many perils both of body and soul; his care of me by means of his angels; and his other individual benefits. under the second head come all my faults and the punishments due to me, whether in the past or now in the present; my proneness to sin; my misuse of my own powers by habituating my thoughts and desires--as well as the inclinations of my other various faculties--to evil; my sojourning in a region far away from his friendship and from his divine conversation[ ]; my perverted affections which make me think far more of temporal than of spiritual advantages or disadvantages; my utter lack of virtue; the wounds of my ignorance, of my malice, of my weakness, of my concupiscence; the shackles on my hands and feet, on my good works, that is; the shackles, too, on my affections, so that i dwell amidst darkness and rottenness and bitterness, and shrink not from it! my deafness, too, to the inner voice of my shepherd; and, what is far worse, that i have chosen god for my enemy and my adversary as often as i have chosen mortal sin, and that i have thus offered him the grievous insult of refusing to have him for my god, and choosing instead my belly, or money, or false delights--and called them my god! meditations such as these should be in daily use among spiritual and religious people, and for their sake they should put aside the "much-speaking" of vocal prayer, however much it may appeal to them. and it is of such meditations that devotion and, by consequence, other virtues, are begotten. and they who do not give themselves to this form of prayer at least once in the day cannot be called religious men or women, nor even spiritual people. there can be no effect without a cause, no end without means to it, no gaining the harbour on the island save by a voyage in a ship; and so there can be no real religion without repeated acts regarding its causes, the means to it, and the vehicle that is to bring us thither (_on_ . . . ). _cajetan:_ just as he who removes an obstacle is the occasion of the resulting effect--a man, for instance, who pulls down a pillar is the occasion of the resulting fall of what it supported, and a man who removes a water-dam is the occasion of the consequent flood--so in the same way have women and simple folk a cause of devotion within themselves, for they have not that obstacle which consists in self-confidence. and because god bestows his grace on those who put no obstacle to it, the church therefore calls the female sex "devout." hence we are not to find fault with the learned for their knowledge, nor are we to praise women for womanly weakness; but that abuse of knowledge which consists in self-exaltation is blameworthy, just as the right use of women's weakness in not being uplifted is praiseworthy (_on_ . . . ). iv is joy an effect of devotion? in the church's _collect_ for the thursday after the fourth sunday of lent we say: _may holy devotion fill with joy those whom the fast they have undertaken chastises._ of itself indeed, and primarily, devotion brings about a spiritual joy of the mind; but as an accidental result it causes sorrow. for, as we have said above, devotion arises from two considerations. primarily it arises from the consideration of the divine goodness, and from this thought there necessarily follows gladness, in accordance with the words: _i remembered god and was delighted._[ ] yet, as it were accidentally, this consideration begets a certain sadness in those who do not as yet fully enjoy god: _my soul hath thirsted after the strong living god_,[ ] and he immediately adds: _my tears have been my bread._ secondarily, however, devotion arises from the consideration of our own defects, for we thus reflect upon that from which a man, by devout acts of the will, turns away, so as no longer to dwell in himself, but to subject himself to god. and this consideration is the converse of the former: for of itself it tends to cause sadness since it makes us dwell upon our defects; accidentally, however, it causes joy, for it makes us think of the hope we have of god's assistance. hence joy of heart primarily and of itself follows from devotion; but secondarily and accidentally there results a sadness which is unto god. some, however, argue that joy is not an effect of devotion, thus: . christ's passion, as said before, is especially calculated to cause devotion. but from dwelling on it there follows a certain affliction of soul: _remember my poverty ... the wormwood and the gall_[ ]--that is, the sacred passion; and then follows: _i will be mindful, and remember, and my soul shall languish within me._ in meditation on the passion of christ there is food for sadness--viz., the thought of the sins of men, and to take these away christ had need to suffer. but there is also food for joy--viz., the thought of god's merciful kindness towards us in providing us such a deliverance. . again, devotion principally consists in the interior sacrifice of the heart: _a sacrifice to god is an afflicted spirit_;[ ] consequently affliction, rather than pleasure or joy, is the outcome of devotion. but the soul which is on the one hand saddened because of its shortcomings in this present life, is on the other hand delighted at the thought of the goodness of god and of the hope of divine assistance. . lastly, s. gregory of nyssa says[ ]: "just as laughter proceeds from joy, so are sorrow and groaning signs of sadness." but out of devotion some burst into tears. yet tears spring not from sadness alone, but also from a certain tenderness of feeling: and especially is this the case when we reflect on something that, while pleasant, has in it a certain admixture of sadness; thus men are wont to weep from loving affection when they recover their children or others dear to them whom they had thought lost. and it is in this sense that tears spring from devotion. * * * * * _cajetan:_ notice the proof here afforded that those are not devout persons who are habitually sad and gloomy, and who cannot mingle with others without getting into difficulties or dissolving into tears. for devout folk are cheerful, and are full of joy in their souls; and this not solely by reason of the principal cause, as is stated in the text, but also by reason of a secondary cause--the thought, namely, of their own failings. for the sadness of devout folk is _according to god_, and joy accompanies it; whence s. augustine's remark: "let a man grieve, but let him rejoice at his grief."[ ] therefore it is that we read of the saints that they were joyful and bright; and rightly so, for they had begun upon earth their "heavenly conversation"[ ] (_on_ . . . ). _s. augustine:_ for thee do i yearn, justice and innocence, beautiful and fair in thy beauteous light that satisfies and yet never sates! for with thee is repose exceedingly and life without disquiet! he that enters into thee enters into the joy of his lord; he shall know no fear, and in the best shall be best. but i have deserted thee and have wandered away, o lord, my god! too far have i wandered from thee, the steadfast one, in my youth, and i have become to myself a very land of want! (_confessions_, ii. x.). footnotes: [ ] viii. and x. . [ ] xxxv. - . [ ] paral. xxix. . [ ] _ethics_, v. i. . [ ] _of the divine names_, chap. iv., part i., lect. . [ ] _sermon viii.: on the passion of our lord._ [ ] s. john xix. . [ ] _commentary on s. luke_ ix. . [ ] _de trinitate_, ix. ; xv. . [ ] ps. lxxii. . [ ] ps. cxx. , . [ ] s. luke xv. , . [ ] ps. lxxvi. . [ ] ps. xli. . [ ] lam. iii. . [ ] ps. i. . [ ] _de homine_, xii. [ ] _de vera et falsa poenitentia_, xiii. [ ] phil. iii. . question lxxxiii of prayer i. is prayer an act of the appetitive powers? cardinal cajetan, on prayer based on friendship ii. is it fitting to pray? cardinal cajetan, on prayer as a true cause s. augustine, _on the sermon on the mount_, ii. iii. " _on the gift of perseverance_, vii. iii. is prayer an act of the virtue of religion? cardinal cajetan, on the humility of prayer s. augustine, _on psalm_ cii. " _of the gift of perseverance_, xvi. iv. ought we to pray to god alone? s. augustine, _sermon_, cxxvii. v. should we in our prayers ask for anything definite from god? s. augustine, _de catechizandis rudibus_, xxv. " _confessions_, x. xxix. " _confessions_, xi. ii. vi. ought we in our prayers to ask for temporal things from god? s. augustine, _on psalm_ xxxvii. " _confessions_, i. xx. " _confessions_, ix. iv. s. thomas is miraculously relieved from toothache s. augustine, _sermon_, lxxx. " _sermon_, cccliv. vii. ought we to pray for others? viii. ought we to pray for our enemies? s. augustine, _sermon_, xv., on _psalm_ xxv. ix. on the seven petitions of the lord's prayer cardinal cajetan, on the grouping of these petitions s. augustine, _confessions_, vii. x. " _sermon_, lvii., _on s. matt._ vi. " _sermon_, lvi. , _on s. matt._ vi. " _sermon_, lvi. , _on s. matt._ vi. " _of the city of god_, xix. s. thomas's rhythm, _adoro te devote_ x. is prayer peculiar to rational creatures? xi. do the saints in heaven pray for us? cardinal cajetan, on the saints in limbo xii. should prayer be vocal? cardinal cajetan, on the conditions of vocal prayer s. augustine, _confessions_, ix. iv. " _confessions_, x. xxxiii. " _on psalm_ cxviii., _sermon_ xxix. xiii. must prayer necessarily be attentive? cardinal cajetan, on the varieties of attention at prayer s. augustine, _on psalm_ lxxxv. " _on psalm_ cxlv. s. thomas, _on distractions, com. on cor._ xiv. xiv. should our prayers be long? xv. is prayer meritorious? s. augustine, _on psalm_ xxvi. " _ep._ cxxx. _ad probam._ xvi. do sinners gain anything from god by their prayers? xvii. can we rightly term "supplications," "prayers," "intercessions," and "thanksgivings," parts of prayer? cardinal cajetan, on the prayer of the consecration s. augustine, _of divers questions_, iv. i is prayer an act of the appetitive powers? s. isidore says[ ]: "to pray is the same thing as to speak." speaking, however, belongs to the intellect. hence prayer is not an act of the appetitive, but of the intellectual faculties. according to cassiodorus, on those words of the psalmist: _hear my prayer, o lord, and my supplication, give ear to my tears_,[ ] prayer means "the lips' reasoning." now there is this difference between the speculative and the practical reason, that the speculative reason merely apprehends things, while the practical reason not only apprehends things, but actually causes them. but one thing is the cause of another in two ways: in one way, perfectly--namely, as inducing a necessity--as happens when the effect comes entirely under the power of a cause; in another way, imperfectly--namely, by merely disposing to it--as happens when an effect is not entirely under the power of a cause. and so, too, reason is in two ways the cause of certain things: in one way as imposing a necessity; and in this way it belongs to the reason to command not merely the lower faculties and the bodily members, but even men who are subject to us, and this is done by giving commands. in another way as inducing, and in some sort disposing to, an effect; and in this way the reason asks for something to be done by those who are subject to it, whether they be equals or superiors. but both of these--namely, to command something, or to ask or beg for something to be done--imply a certain arrangement--as when a man arranges for something to be done by somebody else. and in this respect both of these acts come under the reason whose office it is to arrange. hence the philosopher says[ ]: "reason asks for the best things." here, then, we speak of prayer as implying a certain asking or petition, for, as s. augustine says[ ]: "prayer is a certain kind of petition"; so, too, s. john damascene says[ ]: "prayer is the asking of fitting things from god." hence it is clear that the prayer of which we are here speaking is an act of the reason. some, however, think that prayer is an act of the appetitive powers, thus: . the whole object of prayer is to be heard, and the psalmist says that it is our desires which are heard: _the lord hath heard the desire of the poor._[ ] prayer, then, is desire; but desire is an act of the appetitive powers. but the lord is said to hear the desires of the poor either because their desire is the reason why they ask--since our petitions are in a certain sense the outward expression of our desires; or this may be said in order to show the swiftness with which he hears them--even while things are only existing in the poor man's desire; god hears them even before they are expressed in prayer. and this accords with the words of isaias: _and it shall come to pass that before they shall call i will hear, as they are yet speaking i will hear._[ ] . again, denis the areopagite says: "but before all things it is good to begin with prayer, as thereby giving ourselves up to and uniting ourselves with god."[ ] but union with god comes through love, and love belongs to the appetitive powers; therefore prayer, too, would seem to belong to the appetitive powers. but the will moves the reason to its end or object. hence there is nothing to prevent the reason, under the direction of the will, from tending to the goal of charity, which is union with god. prayer, however, tends towards god--moved, that is, by the will, which itself is motived by charity--in two ways: in one way by reason of that which is asked for, since in prayer we have particularly to ask that we may be united with god, according to those words: _one thing i have asked of the lord, this will i seek after, that i may dwell in the house of the lord all the days of my life._[ ] and in another way prayer tends towards god--by reason, namely, of the petitioner himself; for such a one must approach him from whom he asks something, and this either bodily, as when he draws nigh to a man, or mentally, as when he draws nigh to god. hence the same denis says: "when we invoke god in prayer we are before him with our minds laid bare." in the same sense s. john damascene says: "prayer is the ascent of the mind towards god." _cajetan:_ prayer demands of the petitioner a twofold union with god: the one is general--the union, that is, of friendship--and is produced by charity, so that further on[ ] we shall find the friendship arising from charity enumerated among the conditions for infallibly efficacious prayer. the second kind of union may be termed substantial union; it is the effect of prayer itself. it is that union of application by which the mind offers itself and all it has to god in service--viz., by devout affections, by meditations, and by external acts. by such union as this a man who prays is inseparable from god in his worship and service, just as when one man serves another he is inseparable from him in his service (_on_ . . . ). "and now, o lord, thou art our father, and we are clay: and thou art our maker, and we are all the works of thy hands. be not very angry, o lord, and remember no longer our iniquity: behold, see we are all thy people."[ ] ii is it fitting to pray? in s. luke's gospel we read: _we ought always to pray and not to faint._[ ] a threefold error regarding prayer existed amongst the ancients; for some maintained that human affairs were not directed by divine providence; whence it followed that it was altogether vain to pray or to worship god; of such we read: _you have said, he laboureth in vain that serveth god_.[ ] a second opinion was that all things, even human affairs, happened of necessity--whether from the immutability of divine providence, or from a necessity imposed by the stars, or from the connection of causes; and this opinion, of course, excluded all utility from prayer. a third opinion was that human affairs were indeed directed by divine providence, and that human affairs did not happen of necessity, but that divine providence was changeable, and that consequently its dispositions were changed by our prayers and by other acts of religious worship. these views, however, have elsewhere been shown to be wrong. consequently we have so to set forth the utility of prayer as neither to make things happen of necessity because subject to divine providence, nor to suggest that the arrangements of divine providence are subject to change. to bring this out clearly we must consider that divine providence not merely arranges what effects shall take place, but also from what causes they shall proceed, and in what order. but amongst other causes human acts are causes of certain effects. hence men must do certain things, not so that their acts may change the divine arrangement, but that by their acts they may bring about certain effects according to the order arranged by god; and it is the same with natural causes. it is the same, too, in the case of prayer. for we do not pray in order to change the divine arrangements, but in order to win that which god arranged should be fulfilled by means of prayers; or, in s. gregory's words: "men by petitioning may merit to receive what almighty god arranged before the ages to give them."[ ] some, however, maintain that prayer is futile, thus: . prayer seems to be necessary in order that we may bring our wants to the notice of him to whom we make the petition. but our lord says: _your father knoweth that ye have need of all these things._[ ] but it is not necessary for us to set forth our petitions before god in order to make known to him our needs or desires, but rather that we ourselves may realize that in these things it is needful to have recourse to the divine assistance. . again, by prayer the mind of him to whom it is made is prevailed upon to grant what is asked of him; but the mind of god is unchangeable and inflexible: _the triumpher in israel will not spare, and will not be moved to repentance; for he is not a man that he should repent._[ ] consequently it is unavailing to pray to god. but our prayers do not aim at changing the divine arrangements, but at obtaining by our prayers what god has arranged to give us. . lastly, it is more generous to give to one who does not ask than to one who asks, for, as seneca remarks: "nothing is bought at a dearer price than what is bought with prayers."[ ] whereas god is most generous. god, indeed, bestows on us many things out of his generosity, even things for which we do not ask; but he wishes to grant us some things on the supposition that we ask for them. and this is for our advantage, for it is intended to beget in us a certain confidence in having recourse to god, as well as to make us recognize that he is the author of all good to us. hence s. chrysostom says: "reflect what great happiness is bestowed upon you, what glory is given you, namely, to converse in your prayers with god, to join in colloquy with christ, and to beg for what you wish or desire."[ ] _cajetan:_ notice how foolish are some christians who, when desirous of reaching certain ends attainable by nature or art, are most careful to apply such means, and would rightly regard their hopes as vain unless they applied them; and yet at the same time they have quite false notions of the fruits to be derived from prayer: as though prayer were no cause at all, or at least but a remote one! whence it comes to pass that, having false ideas about the causes, they fail to reap any fruit (_on_ . . . ). _s. augustine:_ but some may say: it is not so much a question whether we are to pray by words or deeds as whether we are to pray at all if god already knows what is needful for us. yet the very giving ourselves to prayer has the effect of soothing our minds and purifying them; it makes us more fit to receive the divine gifts which are spiritually poured out upon us. for god does not hear us because of a display of prayer on our part; he is always ready, indeed, to give us his light, not, indeed, his visible light, but the light of the intellect and the spirit. it is we who are not always prepared to receive it, and this because we are preoccupied with other things and swallowed up in the darkness resulting from desire of the things of earth. when we pray, then, our hearts must turn to god, who is ever ready to give if only we will take what he gives. and in so turning to him we must purify the eye of our mind by shutting out all thought for the things of time, that so--with single-minded gaze--we may be able to bear that simple light that shines divinely, and neither sets nor changes. and not merely to bear it, but even to abide in it; and this not simply without strain, but with a certain unspeakable joy. in this joy the life of the blessed is truly and really perfected (_on the sermon on the mount_, ii. iii. ). _s. augustine:_ he could have bestowed these things on us even without our prayers; but he wished that by our prayers we should be taught from whom these benefits come. for from whom do we receive them if not from him from whom we are bidden to ask them? assuredly in this matter the church does not demand laborious disputations; but note her daily prayers: she prays that unbelievers may believe: god then brings them to the faith. she prays that the faithful may persevere: god gives them perseverance to the end. and god foreknew that he would do these things. for this is the predestination of the saints whom _he chose in christ before the foundation of the world_[ ] (_of the gift of perseverance_, vii. ). "thou hast taught me, o god, from my youth; and till now i will declare thy wonderful works. and unto old age and grey hairs, o god, forsake me not, until i shew forth thy arm to all the generation that is to come."[ ] iii is prayer an act of the virtue of religion? in ps. cxl. we read: _let my prayer be directed as incense in thy sight_, and on these words the gloss remarks: "according to this figure, in the old law incense was said to be offered as an odour of sweetness to the lord." and this comes under the virtue of religion. therefore prayer is an act of religion. it properly belongs to the virtue of religion to give due reverence and honour to god, and hence all those things by which such reverence is shown to god come under religion. by prayer, however, a man shows reverence to god inasmuch as he submits himself to him and, by praying, acknowledges that he needs god as the author of all his good. whence it is clear that prayer is properly an act of religion. some, however, maintain that prayer is not an act of the virtue of religion, thus: . prayer is rather the exercise of the gift of understanding than of the virtue of religion. for the virtue of religion comes under justice; it is therefore resident in the will. but prayer belongs to the intellectual faculties, as we have shown above. but we must remember that the will moves the other faculties of the soul to their objects or ends, and that consequently the virtue of religion, which is in the will, directs the acts of the other faculties in the reverence they show towards god. now amongst these other faculties of the soul the intellect is the noblest and the most nigh to the will; consequently, next to devotion, which belongs to the will itself, prayer, which belongs to the intellective part, is the chief act of religion, for by it religion moves a man's understanding towards god. . again, acts of worship fall under precept, whereas prayer seems to fall under no precept, but to proceed simply from the mere wish to pray; for prayer is merely asking for what we want; consequently prayer is not an act of the virtue of religion. yet not only to ask for what we desire, but to desire rightly, falls under precept; to desire, indeed, falls under the precept of charity, but to ask falls under the precept of religion--the precept which is laid down in the words: _ask and ye shall receive_.[ ] . lastly, the virtue of religion embraces due worship and ceremonial offered to the divinity; prayer, however, offers god nothing, but only seeks to obtain things from him. in prayer a man offers to god his mind, which he subjects to him in reverence, and which he, in some sort, lays bare before him--as we have just seen in s. denis's words. hence, since the human mind is superior to all the other exterior or bodily members, and also to all exterior things which have place in the divine worship, it follows that prayer, too, is pre-eminent among the acts of the virtue of religion. _cajetan:_ in prayer or petition there are three things to be considered: the thing petitioned for, the actual petition, and the petitioner. as far, then, as the thing petitioned for is concerned, we give nothing to god when we pray; rather we ask him to give us something. but if we consider the actual petition, then we do offer something to god when we pray. for the very act of petitioning is an act of subjection; it is an acknowledgment of god's power. and the proof of this is that proud men would prefer to submit to want rather than humble themselves by asking anything of others. further, the petitioner, by the very fact that he petitions, acknowledges that he whom he petitions has the power to assist him, and is merciful, or just, or provident; it is for this reason that he hopes to be heard. hence petition or prayer is regarded as an act of the virtue of religion, the object of which is to give honour to god. for we honour god by asking things of him, and this by so much the more as--whether from our manner of asking or from the nature of what we ask for--we acknowledge him to be above all things, to be our creator, our provider, our redeemer, etc. and this is what s. thomas points out in the body of the article. but if we consider the petitioner: then, since man petitions with his mind--for petition is an act of the mind--and since the mind is the noblest thing in man, it follows that by petitioning we submit to god that which is noblest in us, since we use it to ask things of him, and thereby do him honour. thus by prayer we offer our minds in sacrifice to god; so, too, by bending the knee to him we offer to him and sacrifice to him our knees, by using them to his honour (_on_ . . . ). _s. augustine:_ i stand as a beggar at the gate, he sleepeth not on whom i call! oh, may he give me those three loaves! for you remember the gospel? ah! see how good a thing it is to know god's word; those of you who have read it are stirred within yourselves! for you remember how a needy man came to his friend's house and asked for three loaves. and he says that he sleepily replied to him: "i am resting, and my children are with me asleep." but he persevered in his request, and wrung from him by his importunity what his deserts could not get. but god wishes to give; yet only to those who ask--lest he should give to those who understand not. he does not wish to be stirred up by your weariness! for when you pray you are not being troublesome to one who sleeps; _he slumbereth not nor sleeps that keepeth israel._[ ] ... he, then, sleeps not; see you that your faith sleeps not! (_enarr. in ps._ cii. ). _s. augustine:_ some there are who either do not pray at all, or pray but tepidly; and this because, forsooth, they have learnt from the lord himself[ ] that god knows, even before we ask him, what is necessary for us. but because of such folk are we to say that these words are not true and therefore to be blotted out of the gospel? nay, rather, since it is clear that god gives some things even to those who do not ask--as, for instance, the beginnings of faith--and has prepared other things for those only who pray for them--as, for instance, final perseverance--it is evident that he who fancies he has this latter of himself does not pray to have it (_of the gift of perseverance_, xvi. ). "i will sing to the lord as long as i live; i will sing praise to my god while i have my being. let my speech be acceptable to him; but i will take delight in the lord."[ ] iv ought we to pray to god alone? in job v. we read: _call, now, if there be any that will answer thee, and turn to some of the saints._ prayer is addressed to a person in two ways: in one way as a petition to be granted by him; in another way as a petition to be forwarded by him. in the former way we only pray to god, for all our prayers ought to be directed to the attaining of grace and glory, and these god alone gives: _the lord will give grace and glory._[ ] but in the latter way we set forth our prayers both to the holy angels and to men; and this, not that through their intervention god may know our petitions, but rather that by their prayers and merits our petitions may gain their end. hence it is said in the apocalypse: _and the smoke of the incense of the prayers of the saints ascended up before god from the hand of the angel._[ ] and this is clearly shown, too, from the style adopted by the church in her prayers: for of the holy trinity we pray that mercy may be shown us; but of all the saints, whomsoever they may be, we pray that they may intercede for us. some, however, maintain that we ought to pray to god alone, thus: . prayer is an act of the virtue of religion. but only god is to be worshipped by the virtue of religion. consequently it is to him alone that we should pray. but in our prayers we only show religious worship to him from whom we hope to obtain what we ask, for by so doing we confess him to be the author of all our goods; but we do not show religious worship to those whom we seek to have as intercessors with us before god. . again, prayer to those who cannot know what we pray for is idle. but god alone can know our prayers, and this because prayer is frequently a purely interior act of which god alone is cognizant, as the apostle says: _i will pray with the spirit. i will pray also with the understanding_;[ ] and also because, as s. augustine says[ ]: the dead know not, not even the saints, what the living--not even excepting their own children--are doing. it is true that the dead, if we consider only their natural condition, do not know what is done on earth, and especially do they not know the interior movements of the heart. but to the blessed, as s. gregory says,[ ] manifestation is made in the divine word of those things which it is fitting that they should know as taking place in our regard, even the interior movements of the heart. and, indeed, it is most befitting their state of excellence that they should be cognizant of petitions addressed to them, whether vocally or mentally. hence through god's revelation they are cognizant of the petitions which we address them. . lastly, some say: if we do address prayers to any of the saints, the sole reason for doing so lies in the fact that they are closely united to god. but we do not address prayers to people who, while still living in this world, are closely knit to god, nor to those who are in purgatory and are united to him. there seems, then, to be no reason why we should address prayers to the saints in paradise. but they who are still in the world or in purgatory do not as yet enjoy the vision of the divine word so as to be able to know what we think or say, hence we do not implore their help when we pray; though when talking with living people we do ask them to help us. * * * * * _s. augustine:_ it is no great thing to live long, nor even to live for ever; but it is indeed a great thing to live well. oh, let us love eternal life! and we realize how earnestly we ought to strive for that eternal life when we note how men who love this present temporal life so work for it--though it is to pass away--that, when the fear of death comes, they strive all they can, not, indeed, to do away with death, but to put death off! how men labour when death approaches! they flee from it; they hide from it; they give all they have; they try to buy themselves off; they work and strive; they put up with tortures and inconveniences; they call in physicians; they do everything that lies within their power! yet even if they spend all their toil and their substance, they can only secure that they may live a little longer, not that they may live for ever! if, then, men spend such toil, such endeavour, so much money, so much anxiety, watchfulness, and care, in order to live only a little longer, what ought we not to do that we may live for ever? and if we call them prudent who take every possible precaution to stave off death, to live but a few days more, to save just a few days, then how foolish are they who so pass their days as to lose the day of eternity! (_sermon_, cxxvii. ). "may god have mercy on us, and bless us: may he cause the light of his countenance to shine upon us, and may he have mercy on us. that we may know thy way upon earth: thy salvation in all nations. let people confess to thee, o god: let all people give praise to thee. let the nations be glad and rejoice: for thou judgest the people with justice, and directest the nations upon earth. let the people, o god, confess to thee: let all the people give praise to thee: the earth hath yielded her fruit. may god, our god bless us, may god bless us: and all the ends of the earth fear him."[ ] v should we in our prayers ask for anything definite from god? our lord taught the disciples to ask definitely for the things which are contained in the petitions of the lord's prayer: _thus shalt thou pray._[ ] maximus valerius tells of socrates[ ] that he "maintained that nothing further should be asked of the immortal gods save that they should give us good things; and this on the ground that they knew well what was best for each individual, whereas we often ask in our prayers for things which it would be better not to have asked for." and this opinion has some truth in it as regards those things which can turn out ill, or which a man can use well or ill, as, for example, riches which, as the same socrates says, "have been to the destruction of many; or honours which have ruined many; or the possession of kingdoms, the issues of which are so often ill-fated; or splendid matrimonial alliances, which have sometimes proved the ruin of families." but there are certain good things of which a man cannot make a bad use--those, namely, which cannot have a bad issue. and these are the things by which we are rendered blessed and by which we merit beatitude; these are the things for which the saints pray unconditionally: _show us thy face and we shall be saved_;[ ] and again: _lead me along the path of thy commandments_.[ ] some, however, say that we ought not in our prayers to ask for definite things from god, thus: . s. john damascene defines prayer as "asking from god things that are fitting";[ ] consequently prayer for things which are not expedient is of no efficacy, as s. james says: _you ask and receive not, because you ask amiss_.[ ] moreover, s. paul says: _we know not what we should pray for as we ought_.[ ] but it is also true that though a man cannot of himself know what he ought to pray for, yet, as the apostle says in the same place: _in this the spirit helpeth our infirmity_--namely, in that, by inspiring us with holy desires, he makes us ask aright. hence our lord says that the true adorers _must adore in spirit and in truth_.[ ] . further, he who asks from another some definite thing strives to bend that other's will to do what the petitioner wants. but we ought not to direct our prayers towards making god will what we will, but rather we should will what he wills--as the gloss says on the words of ps. xxxii. : _rejoice in the lord, o ye just!_ it would seem, therefore, that we ought not to ask for definite things from god when we pray. yet when in our prayers we ask for things which appertain to our salvation, we are conforming our will to the will of god, for of his will it is said: _he will have all men to be saved_.[ ] . lastly, evil things cannot be asked from god; and he himself invites us to receive good things. but it is idle for a person to ask for what he is invited to receive. god, it is true, invites us to receive good things; but he wishes us to come to them--not, indeed, by the footsteps of the body--but by pious desires and devout prayers. * * * * * _s. augustine:_ fly, then, by unwavering faith and holy habits, fly, brethren, from those torments where the torturers never desist, and where the tortured never die; whose death is unending, and where in their anguish they cannot die. but burn with love for and desire of the eternal life of the saints where there is no longer the life of toil nor yet wearisome repose. for the praises of god will beget no disgust, neither will they ever cease. there will there be no weariness of the soul, no bodily fatigue; there will there be no wants: neither wants of your own which will call for succour, nor wants of your neighbour demanding your speedy help. god will be all your delight; there will ye find the abundance of that holy city that from him draws life and happily and wisely lives in him. for there, according to that promise of his for which we hope and wait, we shall be made equal to the angels of god; and equally with them shall we then enjoy that vision of the holy trinity in which we now but walk by faith. for we now believe what we do not see, that so by the merits of that same faith we then may merit to see what we believe, and may so hold fast to it that the equality of father, son, and holy ghost, and the unity of the trinity, may no longer come to us under the garb of faith, nor be the subject of contentious talk, but may rather be what we may drink in in purest and deepest contemplation amid the silence of eternity (_de catechizandis rudibus_, xxv. ). _s. augustine:_ o lord, my god, give me what thou biddest and then bid what thou wilt! thou biddest us be continent. _and i knew_, as a certain one says, _that i could not otherwise be continent save god gave it, and this also was a point of wisdom to know whose gift it was_. now by continence we are knit together and brought back into union with that one from whom we have wandered away after many things. for he loves thee but little who loves other things with thee, and loves them not for thee! o love that ever burnest and wilt never be extinguished! o charity! o lord, my god, set me on fire! thou dost bid continence? then give me what thou biddest and bid what thou wilt! (_confessions_, x. xxix.). _s. augustine:_ o lord, my god, listen to my prayer and mercifully hear my desire! for my desire burns not for myself alone, but fraternal charity bids it be of use. and thou seest in my heart that it is so; for i would offer to thee in sacrifice the service of my thoughts and of my tongue. grant me then what i may offer to thee. for i am needy and poor, and thou art rich towards all that call upon thee; for in peace and tranquillity hast thou care for us. circumcise, then, my lips, within and without, from all rashness and all untruthfulness. may thy scriptures be my chaste delight; may i never be deceived in them nor deceive others out of them. attend, o lord, and have mercy upon me, o lord, my god. thou art the light of the blind, the strength of the weak, and so, too, art thou the light of them that see and the strength of them that are strong. look, then, on my soul, and hear me when i cry from out the depths! (_confessions_, xi. ii. ). "look down from heaven, and behold from thy holy habitation and the place of thy glory: where is thy zeal, and thy strength, the multitude of thy bowels, and of thy mercies? they have held back themselves from me. for thou art our father, and abraham hath not known us, and israel hath been ignorant of us: thou, o lord, art our father, our redeemer, from everlasting is thy name."[ ] vi ought we in our prayers to ask for temporal things from god? we have the authority of the book of proverbs for answering in the affirmative, for there we read[ ]: _give me only the necessaries of life_. s. augustine says to proba[ ]: "it is lawful to pray for what it is lawful to desire." but it is lawful to desire temporal things, not indeed as our principal aim or as something which we make our end, but rather as props and stays which may be of assistance to us in our striving for the possession of god; for by such things our bodily life is sustained, and such things, as the philosopher says, co-operate organically to the production of virtuous acts.[ ] consequently it is lawful to pray for temporal things. and this is what s. augustine means when he says to proba: "not unfittingly does a person desire sufficiency for this life when he desires it and nothing more; for such sufficiency is not sought for its own sake but for the body's health, and for a mode of life suitable to a man's position so that he may not be a source of inconvenience to those with whom he lives. when, then, we have these things we must pray that we may retain them, and when we have not got them we must pray that we may have them."[ ] some, however, argue that we ought not to pray for temporal things, thus: . what we pray for we seek. but we are forbidden to seek for temporal things, for it is said: _seek ye therefore first the kingdom of god, and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you_,[ ] those temporal things, namely, which he says are not to be sought but which are to be added to the things which we seek. but temporal things are to be sought secondarily not primarily. hence s. augustine[ ]: "when he says the former is _to be sought first_ (namely the kingdom of god), he means that the latter (namely temporal good things) are to be sought afterwards; not _afterwards_ in point of time, but _afterwards_ in point of importance; the former as our good, the latter as our need." . again, we only ask for things about which we are solicitous. but we are not allowed to be solicitous about temporal concerns: _be not solicitous for your life, what ye shall eat_[ ].... but not all solicitude about temporal affairs is forbidden, only such as is superfluous and out of due order. . further, we ought in prayer to uplift our minds to god. but by asking for temporal things in prayer our mind descends to things beneath it, and this is contrary to the teaching of the apostle: _while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. for the things which are seen are temporal: but the things which are not seen are eternal._[ ] when our mind is occupied with temporal affairs so as to set up its rest in them then it remains in them, and is depressed by them; but when the mind turns to them as a means of attaining to eternal life it is not depressed by them, but rather uplifted by them. . lastly, men ought not to pray except for things useful and good. but temporal possessions are at times hurtful, and this not merely spiritually but even temporally; hence a man ought not to ask them of god. but it is clear that since we do not seek temporal things primarily or for their own sake, but with reference to something else, we consequently only ask them of god according as they may be expedient for our salvation. * * * * * _s. augustine: lord, all my desire is before thee, and my groaning is not hid from thee!_[ ] it is not before men who cannot see the heart, but _before thee is all my desire_! and let your desires, too, be before him, and your father who seeth in secret will repay thee. for your very desire is a prayer, and if your desire is continual your prayer, too, is continual. not without reason did the apostle say: _pray without ceasing_.[ ] yet can we genuflect without ceasing? can we prostrate without ceasing? can we lift up our hands without ceasing? how, then, does he say: _pray without ceasing_? if by _prayer_ he meant such things as these then i think we could not pray without ceasing. but there is another prayer, an interior prayer, which is without ceasing--_desire_. whatever else you do, if only you desire that _rest_[ ] you cease not to pray. if you wish to pray without ceasing then desire without ceasing. your continual desire is your continual voice; but you will be silent if you cease to love (_enarr. in ps._ xxxvii. ). _s. augustine:_ but all these things are the gifts of my god; i did not give them to myself; they are good, and all these things am i. he then is good who made me; nay, he himself is my good, and in him do i rejoice for all the good things which i had even as a boy! but in this did i sin that, not in him but in his creatures did i seek myself and other pleasures, high thoughts and truths. thus it was that i fell into sorrow, confusion, and error. thanks be to thee, my sweetness, my honour and my trust, o my god! thanks be to thee for thy gifts! but do thou keep them for me! for so doing thou wilt be keeping me, and those things which thou hast given me will be increased and perfected, and i myself shall be with thee, for even that i should be at all is thy gift to me! (_confessions_, i. xx. ). _s. augustine:_ but i forget not, neither will i keep silence regarding the severity of thy scourge and the wondrous swiftness of thy mercy. thou didst torture me with toothache; and when the pain had become so great that i could not even speak, it came into my mind to tell all my friends who were there to pray to thee for me, to thee the god of all manner of succour. and i wrote my request on a wax tablet and i gave it them to read. and hardly had we bent the knee in humble prayer than the pain fled! but what a pain it was! and how did it disappear? i was terrified, i confess it, o lord my god! never in all my life had i felt anything like it! (_confessions_, ix. iv. ). it is narrated of s. thomas that when at paris it happened that having to lecture at the university on a subject which he had commenced the day before, he rose at night to pray as was his wont, but discovered that a tooth had suddenly pushed its way through his gums in such a way that he could not speak. his companion suggested that since it was an inopportune time for procuring assistance a message should be sent to the university stating what had happened and pointing out that the lecture could not be given till the tooth had been removed by a surgeon. but s. thomas, reflecting upon the difficulty in which the university would be placed, considering also the danger which might arise from the removal of the tooth in the way suggested, said to his companion: i see no remedy save to trust to god's providence. he then betook himself to his accustomed place of prayer, and for a long space besought god with tears to grant him this favour, leaving himself entirely in his hands. and when he had thus prayed he took the tooth between his fingers, and it came out at once without the slightest pain or wrench, and he found himself freed from the impediment to his speech which it had caused. this tooth he carried about with him for a long time as a reminder of an act of divine loving-kindness such as he was anxious not to forget, for forgetfulness is the mother of ingratitude; he wished it, too, to move him to still greater confidence in the power of prayer which had on that occasion been so quickly heard (see _vita s. thomæ_, bollandists, march , vol. i., , pp. , , ). _s. augustine:_ but temporal things are sometimes for our profit, sometimes for our hurt. for many poverty was good, wealth did them harm. for many a hidden life was best, high station did them harm. and on the other hand money was good for some, and dignities, too, were good for them--good, that is, for those who used them well; but such things did harm when not taken away from those who used them ill. consequently, brethren, let us ask for these temporal things with moderation, being sure that if we do receive them, he gives them who knoweth what is best suited to us. you have asked for something, then, and what you asked for has not been given you? believe in your father who would give it you if it were expedient for you (_sermon_, lxxx. ). _s. augustine:_ sometimes god in his wrath grants what you ask; at other times in his mercy he refuses what you ask. when, then, you ask of him things which he praises, which he commands, things which he has promised us in the next world, then ask in confidence and be instant in prayer as far as in you lies, that so you may receive what you ask. for such things as these are granted by the god of mercy; they flow not from his wrath but from his compassion. but when you ask for temporal things, then ask with moderation, ask with fear; leave all to him so that if they be for your profit he may give them you, if they be to your hurt he may refuse them. for what is for our good and what is to our hurt the physician knoweth, not the patient (_sermon_, cccliv. ). "cast thy care upon the lord, and he shall sustain thee; he shall not suffer the just to waver for ever."[ ] vii ought we to pray for others? s. james, in his epistle, says[ ]: _pray for one another that ye may be saved_. as we said above, we ought in prayer to ask for those things which we ought to desire. but we ought to desire good things not for ourselves only but also for others, for this belongs to that charity which we ought to exercise towards our neighbour. hence charity demands that we pray for others. in accordance with this s. chrysostom says[ ]: "necessity compels us to pray for ourselves, fraternal charity urges us to pray for others. but that prayer is more pleasing before god which arises not so much from our needs as from the demands of fraternal charity." some, however, urge that we ought not to pray for others, thus: . we are bound in our prayer to follow the norm which our lord delivered to us; but in the _lord's prayer_ we pray for ourselves and not for others, for we say: _give us this day our daily bread_, etc. but s. cyprian says:[ ] "we do not say _my_ father, but _our_ father, neither do we say give _me_, but give _us_; and this because the teacher of unity did not wish prayer to be made privately, viz., that each should pray for himself alone; for he wished one to pray for all since he in his single person had borne all." . again, we pray in order to be heard; but one of the conditions for our prayer to be heard is that a man should pray for himself. thus on the words: _if ye ask the father anything in my name he will give it you_,[ ] s. augustine says:[ ] "all are heard for themselves, but not for all in general, hence he does not say simply: _he will give it_, but _he will give it you_." but to pray for oneself is a condition attaching to prayer; not indeed a condition affecting its merit, but a condition which is necessary if we would ensure the attainment of what we ask. for it sometimes happens that prayer made for another does not avail even though it be devout and persevering and for things pertaining to a man's salvation; and this is because of the existence of some hindrance on the part of him for whom we pray, as we read in jeremias[ ]: _if moses and samuel shall stand before me, my soul is not towards this people_. none the less, such prayer will be meritorious on the part of him who prays, for he prays out of charity; thus on the words, _and my prayer shall be turned into my bosom_,[ ] the interlinear gloss has: "that is, and even though it avail not for them, yet shall i not be without my reward." . lastly, we are forbidden to pray for others if they are wicked, according to the words: _do not thou pray for this people ... and do not withstand me, for i will not hear thee_.[ ] and, on the other hand, we ought not to pray for them if they are good, for in that case they will be heard when they pray for themselves. but we have to pray even for sinners, that they may be converted, and for the good, that they may persevere and make progress. our prayers for sinners, however, are not heard for all, but for some. for they are heard for those who are predestined, not for those who are foreknown as reprobate; just in the same way as when we correct our brethren, such corrections avail among the predestinate but not among the reprobate, according to the words: _no man can correct whom he hath despised._[ ] wherefore also it is said: _he that knoweth his brother to sin a sin that is not unto death, let him ask, and life shall be given to him who sinneth not to death._[ ] but just as we can refuse to no one, as long as he liveth on this earth, the benefit of correction--for we cannot distinguish between the predestinate and the reprobate, as s. augustine says[ ]--so neither can we refuse to anyone the suffrage of our prayers. and for good men we have to pray, and this for a threefold reason: firstly, because the prayers of many are more easily heard; thus on the words: _i beseech ye therefore, help me in your prayers for me_,[ ] the ordinary gloss of s. ambrose says: "well does the apostle ask his inferiors to pray for him; for even the very least become great when many in number, and when gathered together with one mind; and it is impossible that the prayers of many should not avail" to obtain, that is, what is obtainable. and secondly, that thanks may be returned by many for the benefits conferred by god upon the just, for these same benefits tend to the profit of many--as is evident from the apostle's words to the corinthians.[ ] and thirdly, that those who are greater may not therefore be proud, but may realize that they need the suffrages of their inferiors. "father, i will that where i am they also whom thou hast given me may be with me; that they may see my glory, which thou hast given me: because thou hast loved me before the foundation of the world."[ ] viii ought we to pray for our enemies? _but i say to you ... pray for them that persecute and calumniate you._[ ] to pray for others is a work of charity, as we have said above. hence we are bound to pray for our enemies in the same way as we are bound to love them. we have already explained, in the _treatise on charity_, in what sense we are bound to love our enemies; namely, that we are bound to love their nature, not their fault; and that to love our enemies in general is of precept; to love them, however, individually, is not of precept save in the sense of being prepared to do so; a man, for instance, is bound to be ready to love an individual enemy and to help him in case of necessity, or if he comes to seek his pardon. but absolutely to love our individual enemies, and to assist them, belongs to perfection. in the same way, then, it is necessary that in our general prayers for others we should not exclude our enemies. but to make special prayer for them belongs to perfection and is not necessary, save in some particular cases. some, however, argue that we ought not to pray for our enemies, thus: . it is said in the epistle to the romans[ ]: _what things soever were written were written for our learning_. but in holy scripture we find many imprecations against enemies; thus, for instance[ ]: _let all my enemies be ashamed, let them be turned back and be ashamed very speedily_. from which it would rather seem that we ought to pray against our enemies than for them. but the imprecations which find place in holy scripture can be understood in four different ways: first of all according as the prophets are wont "to predict the future under the figure of imprecations," as s. augustine says[ ]; secondly, in that certain temporal evils are sometimes sent by god upon sinners for their amendment; thirdly, these denunciations may be understood, not as demanding the punishment of men themselves, but as directed against the kingdom of sin, in the sense that by men being corrected sin may be destroyed; fourthly, in that the prophets conform their wills to the divine justice with regard to the damnation of sinners who persevere in their sin. . further, to be revenged upon our enemies means evil for our enemies. but the saints seek to be avenged upon their enemies: _how long, o lord, dost thou not judge and revenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth?_[ ] and in accordance with this we find them rejoicing in the vengeance taken upon sinners: _the just shall rejoice when he shall see the revenge._[ ] it would seem, then, that we ought rather to pray against our enemies than for them. but, on the contrary, as s. augustine says:[ ] "the vengeance of the martyrs is the overthrow of the empire of sin under whose dominion they suffered so much"; or, as he says elsewhere[ ]: "they demand vengeance, not by word of mouth, but by very reason, just as the blood of abel cried out from the earth." moreover, they rejoice in this vengeance, not for its own sake, but because of the divine justice. . lastly, a man's deeds and his prayers cannot be in opposition. but men sometimes quite lawfully attack their enemies, else all wars would be illegal. hence we ought not to pray for our enemies. but it is lawful to assail our enemies that so they may be hindered from sin; and this is for their good and for that of others. in the same way, then, it is lawful to pray for temporal evils for our enemies to the end that they may be corrected. in this sense our deeds and our prayers are not in opposition. * * * * * _s. augustine:_ if there were no wicked folk, then for whom could we be supposed to pray when we are told: _pray for your enemies_? perhaps you would like to have good enemies. yet how could that be? for unless you yourself are bad you will not have good people for enemies; and if, on the contrary, you are good, then no one will be your enemy save the wicked folk (_sermon_, xv., _on ps._ xxv. ). "have mercy upon us, o god of all, and behold us, and shew us the light of thy mercies: and send thy fear upon the nations, that have not sought after thee: that they may know that there is no god beside thee, and that they may shew forth thy wonders. lift up thy hand over the strange nations, that they may see thy power."[ ] on the seven petitions of the _lord's prayer_. the lord's prayer is the most perfect of all prayers, for, as s. augustine says to proba[ ]: "if we pray rightly and fittingly we can say nothing else but what is set down in the _lord's prayer_." and since prayer is, in a sort, the interpreter of our desires before god, we can only rightly ask in prayer for those things which we can rightly desire. but in the _lord's prayer_ not only do we have petitions for all those things which we can rightly desire, but they are set forth in the order in which they are to be desired. hence this prayer not only teaches us how to pray, but serves as the norm of all our dispositions of mind. for it is clear that we desire first the end and then the means to the attainment of that end. but our end is god, towards whom our desires tend in two ways: first, in that we desire god's glory; secondly, in that we desire to enjoy that glory ourselves. the former of these pertains to that love wherewith we love god in himself, the latter to that charity wherewith we love ourselves in god. hence the first petition runs: _hallowed be thy name_, wherein we pray for god's glory; and the second runs: _thy kingdom come_, wherein we pray that we may come to the glory of his kingdom. but to this said end things lead us in two ways: viz., either _essentially_ or _accidentally_. things which are useful for the attainment of that end _essentially_ lead us to it. but a thing may be useful as regards that end which is the possession of god in two ways: namely, _directly and principally_, that is, according to the merits by which we merit the possession of god by obeying him; and in accordance with this runs the petition: _thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven_; also _instrumentally_ as assisting us to merit, whence the petition: _give us this day our daily bread_. and this is true whether we understand by this "bread" that sacramental bread, the daily use of which profits man, and in which are comprised all the other sacraments; or whether we understand it of material bread so that "bread" here means all that is sufficient for the support of life--as s. augustine explains it to proba.[ ] for both the holy eucharist is the chief of sacraments, and bread is the chief of foods, whence in the gospel of s. matthew we have the term "super-substantial" or "special" applied to it, as s. jerome explains it.[ ] and we are lead, as it were, _accidentally_ to the possession of god by the removal of impediments from our path. now there are three things which impede us in our efforts after the possession of god. the first of these is sin, which directly excludes us from the kingdom: _neither fornicators, nor idolaters, ... etc., shall possess the kingdom of god_;[ ] hence the petition: _forgive us our trespasses_.... and the second impediment is temptation which hinders us from obeying the divine will; whence the petition: _and lead us not into temptation_; in which petition we do not pray that we may not be tempted, but that we may not be overcome by temptation, for this is the meaning of being led into temptation. and the third hindrance lies in our present penal state which prevents us from having "the sufficiency of life"; and for this reason we say: _deliver us from evil_. some, however, argue that these seven petitions are not very appropriate, thus: . it seems idle to pray that that may be hallowed which is already hallowed or holy. but the name of god is holy: _and holy is his name_.[ ] similarly, his kingdom is everlasting: _thy kingdom_, o lord, _is a kingdom of all ages_.[ ] god's will, too, is always fulfilled: _and all my will shall be done_.[ ] hence it is idle to pray that god's name may be hallowed, that his kingdom may come, and that his will may be done. but, as s. augustine says,[ ] when we say, _hallowed be thy name_, we do not make this petition as though god's name were not holy, but that it may be held holy by men; in other words, that god's glory may be propagated amongst men. and when we say, _thy kingdom come_, it is not as though we meant that god did not reign, but, as s. augustine says to proba[ ]: "we stir up our desires for that kingdom, that it may come upon us and that we may reign in it." lastly, when we say, _thy will be done_, this is rightly understood to mean: may thy precepts be obeyed _on earth as in heaven_--that is, as by angels, so by men. these three petitions, then, will receive their perfect fulfilment in the life to come; but the remaining four, as s. augustine says, refer to the necessities of the present life.[ ] . but further, to depart from evil must precede the pursuit of what is good. hence it hardly seems appropriate to place those petitions which are concerned with the pursuit of what is good before those which refer to the departing from evil. yet since prayer is the interpreter of our desires the order of these petitions does not correspond to the order of attainment but of desire or intention; in this order, however, the end precedes the means to the end, the pursuit of good comes before the departure from evil. . but once more, we ask for something in order that it may be given us. but the chief gift of god is the holy spirit and those things which are given us through him. hence these petitions do not seem to be very appropriate since they do not correspond to the gifts of the holy spirit. s. augustine[ ], however, adapts these seven petitions to the gifts of the holy spirit and to the beatitudes; he says: "if we have the _fear of god_ by which the poor in spirit are blessed, we pray that god's name may be hallowed among men by chaste fear. if we have _piety_, by which the meek are blessed, we pray that his kingdom may come, that we may be meek, and that we may not withstand it. if we have _knowledge_, by which they that mourn are blessed, we pray that his will may be done, and that so we may not mourn. if we have _fortitude_, by which they that hunger are blessed, we pray that our daily bread may be given us. if we have _counsel_, by which they that are merciful are blessed, let us forgive our debtors that we ourselves may be forgiven. if we have _understanding_, by which the clean of heart are blessed, let us pray that we may not have a double heart that pursues after temporal things whence temptations come to us. if we have _wisdom_, whence the peace-makers are blessed--for they shall be called the sons of god--let us pray that we may be delivered from evil, for that very deliverance will make us the free sons of god." . again, according to s. luke,[ ] there are only five petitions in the lord's prayer. hence it would seem superfluous to have seven in s. matthew. but, as s. augustine says[ ]: "s. luke only includes five petitions and not seven in the lord's prayer, for he shows that the third petition is, in a sense, only a repetition of the two preceding ones; by omitting it he makes us see that god's will is more especially concerned with our knowledge of his sanctity and with our reigning with him. but luke has omitted matthew's last petition, _deliver us from evil_, in order to show us that we are delivered from evil just precisely as we are not led into temptation." . and lastly, it seems idle to try to stir up the benevolence of one who is beforehand with his benevolence. but god does forestall us with his benevolence, for _he hath first loved us_.[ ] consequently it seems superfluous to preface our petitions with the words _our father who art in heaven_, words which seem intended to stir up god's benevolence. but we must remember that prayer is not directed to god in order to prevail upon him, but in order to excite ourselves to confidence in our petitions. and this confidence is especially excited in us by consideration of his love towards us whereby he wishes us well, wherefore we say, _our father_; and of his pre-eminent power whereby he is able to assist us, whence we say, _who art in heaven_. * * * * * _cajetan:_ the first three petitions of the _lord's prayer_ can also be referred to that which we principally desire, so that all three regard mainly that love wherewith we love god in himself, and secondarily that love wherewith we love ourselves in god. and the proof of this is that in each of the first three we have the pronoun _thine_, but in the last four the pronoun _our_. thus the first petition asks for the effective and enduring praise of god's name; the second, that he--and not the devil, nor the world, nor the flesh, nor sin--may reign effectively; the third, that his will may be effectively fulfilled. for these things are not now absolutely so with god, and this by reason of the multitude of sins, and also because the mode of their present fulfilment is hidden. and the word _effectively_ is introduced into each clause by reason of the subjoined qualification _on earth as it is in heaven_, for this qualifies each of the foregoing clauses. hence rightly do our desires first of all aim at, wish for, and pray that--even as something good for god himself--he may be sanctified in his name; that he may be permanently uplifted above all things--on earth as in heaven; that he--not sin--may reign--on earth as in heaven; that his will--none other--may be done--on earth as in heaven (_on_ . . . ). _s. augustine:_ o eternal truth, true love and lovable eternity! thou art my god; for thee do i sigh night and day! and when i first knew thee thou didst snatch me up so that i saw that that really was which i saw, and that i who saw was really not--as yet. and thou didst beat back my weak gaze, pouring out thy light upon me in its intensity; and i trembled with love and with horror. for i found myself to be far away from thee in a land that was unlike thee; it was as though i heard thy voice from on high, saying: "i am the food of grown men, grow, and thou shalt eat me, but thou shalt not be changed into me" (_confessions_, vii. x. ). _s. augustine:_ and the faithful are well aware of that spiritual food which you, too, will soon know and which you are to receive from god's altar. it will be your food, nay, your daily food, needful for this life. for are we not about to receive the eucharist wherein we come to christ himself, and begin to reign with him for ever? the eucharist is our daily bread. but let us so receive it as to be thereby refreshed, not in body merely but in mind. for the power which we know to be therein is the power of unity whereby we are brought into union with his body and become his members. let us be what we receive; for then it will be truly our daily bread. again, what i set before you is your daily bread; and what you hear read day by day in the church is your daily bread; and the hymns you hear and which you sing--they are your daily bread. for these things we need for our pilgrimage. but when we get there are we going to hear a book read? nay, we are going to hear the word himself; we are going to see the word himself; we are going to eat him, to drink him, even as the angels do already. do the angels need books, or disputations, or readers? nay, not so. but by seeing they read, for they see the truth itself and are sated from that fount whence we receive but the sprinkling of the dew (_sermon_, lvii., _on s. matt._ vi. ). _s. augustine:_ when ye say _give us this day our daily bread_, ye profess yourselves god's beggars. yet blush not at it! the richest man on earth is god's beggar. the beggar stands at the rich man's door. but the rich man in his turn stands at the door of one richer than he. he is begged from, and he, too, has to beg. if he were not in need he would not beseech god in prayer. but what can the rich man need? i dare to say it: he needs even his daily bread! for how is it that he abounds with all things, save that god gave them to him? and what will they have if god but withdraw his hand? (_sermon_, lvi. , _on s. matt._ vi.). _s. augustine:_ think not that you have no need to say _forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us_.... he who looks with pleasure at what he should not--sins. yet who can control the glance of the eye? indeed, some say that the eye is so called from its swiftness (_oculus a velocitate_). who can control his eyes or his ears? you can close your eyes when you like, but how quickly they open again! you can shut your ears with an effort; put up your hand, and you can touch them. but if someone holds your hands your ears remain open, and you cannot then shut out cursing words, impure words, flattering and deceitful words. when you hear something which you should not--do you not sin with your ears? what when you hear some evil thing with pleasure? and the death-dealing tongue! how many sins it commits! (_sermon_, lvi. ). _s. augustine:_ indeed, our whole righteousness--true righteousness though it be, by reason of the true good to whom it is referred, consists rather, as long as we are in this life, in the remission of our sins than in the perfection of our virtues. and the proof of this is the prayer of the whole city of god which is in pilgrimage on this earth. for by all its members it cries to god: _forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them the trespass against us_! and this prayer is of no avail for those whose faith is without works--dead; but only for those whose faith worketh through charity. for though our reason is indeed subject to god, yet in this our mortal condition, in this corruptible body which weigheth down the soul, our reason does not perfectly control our vices, and hence such prayer as this is needful for the righteous (_of the city of god_, xix. ). "father, the hour is come; glorify thy son, that thy son may glorify thee. as thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he may give life everlasting to all whom thou hast given him. and this is life everlasting, that they may know thee, the only true god, and jesus christ, whom thou hast sent."[ ] rhythm in honour of the blessed sacrament, said to have been composed by s. thomas on his death-bed.[ ] adoro te devote, latens deitas, quæ sub his figuris vere latitas; tibi se cor meum totum subjicit, quia te contemplans totum deficit. visus, tactus gustus, in te fallitur, sed auditu solo tuto creditur; credo quidquid dixit dei filius, nil hoc verbo veritatis verius. in cruce latebat sola deitas, at hic latet simul et humanitas; ambo tamen credens atque confitens, peto quod petivit latro poenitens. plagas, sicut thomas, non intueor, deum tamen meum te confiteor; fac me tibi semper magis credere, in te spem habere, te diligere. o memoriale mortis domini, panis vivus, vitam præstans homini, præsta meæ menti de te vivero, et te illi semper dulce sapere. pie pellicane jesu domine, me immundum munda tuo sanguine, cujus una stilla salvum facere totum mundum quit ab omni scelere. jesu quem velatum nunc aspicio, oro fiat illud quod tam sitio, ut te revelata cernens facie, visu sim beatus tuæ gloriæ! (an indulgence of days for the recitation of this rhythm. _s. congr. of indulgences_, december , .) x is prayer peculiar to rational creatures? prayer is an act of the reason, as we have shown above. and rational creatures are so termed because of the possession of reason. consequently prayer is peculiar to them. as we have said above, prayer is an act of the reason by which a person pleads with his superior, just in the same way as a command is an act of the reason by which an inferior is directed to do something. prayer, then, properly pertains to one who has the use of reason and who also has a superior with whom he can plead. the persons of the trinity have no superior; the brute animals have no reason. hence prayer belongs neither to the divine persons nor to the brute creation, but is peculiar to rational creatures. some, however, argue that prayer cannot be peculiar to rational creatures, thus: . to ask and to receive belong to the same person. but the divine persons receive: the son, namely, and the holy spirit. consequently they can also pray; indeed it is the son himself who says, _i will ask the father_,[ ] and the apostle says of the holy spirit, _the spirit himself asketh for us_.[ ] but it belongs to the divine persons to receive by their nature, whereas to pray belongs to one who receives through grace. the son is said to ask or pray according to the nature he took upon himself--that is according to his human, and not according to his divine, nature; the holy spirit, too, is said to petition because he makes us petition. . but further, the angels are superior to the rational creation since they are intellectual substances; but it belongs to the angels to pray, for it is said in the psalm[ ]: _adore him, all ye his angels_. but the intellect and the reason are not different faculties in us, though they do differ in the sense that one is more perfect than the other. consequently the intellectual creation, such as are the angels, is sometimes distinguished from the rational creation, but at other times both are embraced under the one term "rational." and it is in this latter sense of the term "rational" that prayer is said to be peculiar to the rational creation. . lastly, he prays who calls upon god; for it is chiefly by prayer that we call upon god. but the brute animals also call upon god, for the psalmist says: _who giveth to beasts their food, and to the young ravens that call upon him._[ ] but the young ravens are said to call upon god by reason of those natural desires by which all things, each in their own fashion, desire to obtain the divine goodness. in the same way brute animals are said to obey god by reason of the natural instinct by which they are moved by god. "reward them that patiently wait for thee, that thy prophets may be found faithful: and hear the prayers of thy servants. according to the blessing of aaron over thy people, and direct us into the way of justice, and let all know that dwell upon the earth, that thou art god the beholder of all ages."[ ] xi do the saints in heaven pray for us? _this is he who prayeth much for the people and for all the holy city, jeremias the prophet of god._[ ] as s. jerome says,[ ] vigilantius's error lay in maintaining that "while we live we can mutually pray for one another; but after we are dead no one's prayer for another is heard, and this is especially clear in the case of the martyrs who were unable to obtain by their prayers vengeance for their blood." but this is altogether false; for since prayer for others springs from charity, the more perfect the charity of those who are in heaven the more they pray for those wayfarers on earth who can be helped by their prayers. and the more knit they are to god the more efficacious are their prayers; for the divine harmony demands that the superabundance of those who are in the higher position should redound upon those who are lower, just as the brightness of the sun renders the atmosphere itself luminous. whence christ himself is said to be _approaching of himself to god to intercede for us_.[ ] whence, too, s. jerome's reply to vigilantius: "if the apostles and martyrs, when they were still in the body, and had still to be solicitous on their own account, prayed for others, how much more when they have won the crown, when they have gained the victory and the triumph?" yet some maintain that the blessed in heaven do not pray for us, thus: . a man's acts are more meritorious for himself than for another. but the saints who are in heaven neither merit for themselves nor pray for themselves, for they have already attained the goal of their desires. hence neither do they pray for us. but the saints who are in our fatherland lack no blessedness--since they are blessed--save the glory of the body, and for this they pray. but they pray for us who still lack the ultimate perfection of blessedness; and their prayers are efficacious by reason of their previous merits and of the divine acceptation of their prayers. . but once more: the saints are perfectly conformed to the will of god, and consequently will nothing but what he wills. but what god wills is always fulfilled. hence it is idle for the saints to pray for us. but the saints obtain that which god wills should come about through the medium of their prayers; and they ask for what they think is, by god's will, to be fulfilled through their prayers. . and yet again: just as the saints in heaven are superior to us so also are they who are in purgatory--for they cannot sin. those, however, who are in purgatory do not pray for us, but rather we for them. it follows, then, that neither can the saints in heaven pray for us. but though those who are in purgatory are superior to us in that they cannot sin, yet are they our inferiors as regards the penalties they suffer; hence they are not in a state to pray for us, but rather we for them. . once more: if the saints in heaven could pray for us it would follow that the prayers of the holiest saints would be the most efficacious, and that consequently we ought not to ask the inferior saints to pray for us, but only the greatest ones. but god desires inferior things to be helped by all that are superior, and consequently we have to implore the aid of not only the chief saints but also of the lesser; else it would follow that we ought to implore mercy from god alone. and it may sometimes happen that the petition made to a lesser saint is more efficacious, either because we ask him more devoutly, or because god wishes thus to show forth his sanctity. . lastly, peter's soul is not peter. consequently if the souls of the saints could pray for us, we ought--as long as their souls are separated from their bodies--to appeal, not to peter to help us, but to peter's soul; whereas the church does the contrary. from which it would seem that the saints, at all events previous to the resurrection, do not pray for us. but since the saints merited when alive that they should pray for us, we therefore call upon them by the names they bore when here below, and by which they are best known to us; and we do this, too, in order to show our faith in the resurrection, in accordance with the words _i am the god of abraham_.[ ] * * * * * _cajetan:_ the question arises: how could jeremias, who in the days of the maccabees was not yet in our fatherland but still in the limbo of the fathers, pray for jerusalem? but if we carefully consider what it is at root which makes the prayers of the saints in the fatherland avail for us, we shall find that the same reason holds for the saints who were in limbo as for those who enjoy the beatific vision. for it is their charity in their state of absolute superiority to us which is the reason for their praying for us. hence, in the reply to the third difficulty, those who are in purgatory are excluded from the number of those who pray for us because they are not altogether our superiors, but by reason of their sufferings are inferior to us, and need our prayers. but the fathers in limbo were, it is clear, confirmed in charity and were incapable of sin, neither were they liable to any peculiar or fresh suffering. for while the pain of loss was common to them and to the sojourners on earth, the former were free from all pain of sense, hence they could pray for us. there is, however, this difference to be noted between them and the saints in the fatherland--viz., that whereas the former had it in common with the latter to pray for those sojourning on earth, it is given only to the saints in the fatherland to see the prayers of us sojourners addressed to them. hence jeremias is here said to pray, he is not said to have heard their prayers or supplications (_on_ . . . ). xii should prayer be vocal? _i cried to the lord with my voice, with my voice i made supplication to the lord._[ ] prayer is of two kinds: public and private. _public_ or common prayer is that which is offered to god by the church's ministers in the person of the whole body of the faithful. and it is necessary that such prayer should be known to the body of the faithful for whom it is offered; this, however, could not be unless it were vocal; consequently it is reasonably enacted that the church's ministers should pronounce such prayers in a loud voice so as to reach the ears of all. _private_ prayer, on the contrary, is that which is offered by private individuals, whether for themselves or for others; and its nature does not demand that it should be vocal. at the same time, we can use our voices in this kind of prayer, and this for three reasons: firstly, in order to excite interior devotion whereby our minds may, when we pray, be lifted up to god; for men's minds are moved by external signs--whether words or acts--to understand, and, by consequence, also to feel. wherefore s. augustine says to proba[ ]: "by words and other signs we vehemently stir ourselves up so as to increase our holy desires." hence in private prayer we must make such use of words and other signs as shall avail to rouse our minds interiorly. but if, on the other hand, such things only serve to distract the mind, or prove in any way a hindrance, then we must cease from them; this is especially the case with those whose minds are sufficiently prepared for devotion without such incentives. thus the psalmist says: _my heart hath said to thee, my face hath sought thee[ ];_ and of anna we are told that _she spoke within her heart_.[ ] and secondly, we make use of vocal prayer in payment, as it were, of a just debt--in order, that is, to serve god with the entirety of what we have received from him; consequently not with our mind alone but with our body as well; and this, as the prophet osee says, is especially suitable to prayer considered as a satisfaction for our sins: _take away all iniquity and receive the good, and we will render the calves of our lips_.[ ] and thirdly, we sometimes make use of vocal prayer because the soul overflows, as it were, on to the body by reason of the vehemence of our feelings, as it is written: _my heart hath been glad, and my tongue hath rejoiced_.[ ] but it seems to some that prayer should not be vocal, thus: . prayer is, as we have said, principally directed to god, and god knows the heart's speech. consequently to add vocal prayer is idle. but vocal prayer is not employed in order to manifest to god something which he did not know, but to stir up the mind of him who prays, and of others, too, towards god. . again, man's mind is meant to rise by prayer towards god; but words, and other things pertaining to the senses, keep back a man from the ascent of contemplation. words appertaining to other things than god do indeed distract the mind and hinder the devotion of him who prays; but devotional words stir up the mind, especially if it be less devout. . lastly, prayer ought to be offered to god in secret, according to the words: _but thou when thou shalt pray, enter into thy chamber, and having shut the door, pray to thy father in secret_;[ ] whereas to pray vocally means to publish it abroad. but, as s. chrysostom says[ ]: "the lord forbade us to pray in public with a view to being seen by the public. consequently, when we pray we should do nothing novel to attract men's attention, whether by uttering cries which may be heard by them, or by openly beating our breasts, or by spreading out our hands, for the crowd to see us." while, on the other hand, as s. augustine remarks[ ]: "to be seen by men is not wrong, but to do things to be seen by men." * * * * * _cajetan:_ note carefully, ye who murmur at the church's services, these three points: the different kinds of vocal prayer, its necessity, and the conditions attaching to it. for vocal prayer is divided into that which is in common and that which is private or individual. the general necessity of vocal prayer arises from the fact that it is offered in the person of the church. for since the church is composed of created beings dependent on the senses, prayer made through the medium of the senses--_i.e._, vocal prayer--must needs be offered by its ministers; else we should not know whether the worship of prayer was being offered by god's ministers, nor should we be conscious of the gift to god which was being offered by them in prayer; for the church only judges from the things that appear externally. our individual need of vocal prayer arises from the necessity of stirring up our own devotion, and preserving it. the conditions of prayer in common are twofold: it must be vocal, and it must be out loud. hence those who say private masses in such a low tone--and that consciously--as to be unintelligible to their hearers, appear to act unreasonably and are inexcusable, unless it should happen by accident that no one is present; in this case it is sufficient if they can be heard by the server who is close at hand. this will also show us what use we are to make of chant, or of recitation without chant, in prayer in common: it must be governed by our common devotion. and in whatever fashion such prayer may be made this rule must always be observed: it must be said so intelligibly that the meaning of the words may be distinctly perceived both by the reciters and by others, that so the church's devotion may be aroused. and reason tells us what conditions attach to our private prayer: viz., our own private devotion. this shews, too, the error of those who, in order to complete the tale of a large number of private vocal prayers each day, lay aside meditation and mental prayer. they neglect the end for the means (_on_ . . . ). _s. augustine:_ oh! how i lifted up my voice to thee, o lord, when i sang the psalms of david, those songs full of faith, those strains full of piety which soothed my swelling spirit! and i was then but uninstructed in thy true love; a catechumen spending my leisure with alypius, another catechumen. and my mother stayed with us: clad indeed in woman's garb, but with a man's faith, with a matron's calm, with a mother's love, with a christian's piety. oh! how i lifted up my voice in those psalms! how they inflamed my heart! how i yearned to recite them, if i could, to the whole world--as an answer to the pride of the human race! though, indeed, they are sung throughout the world, and none can hide himself from thy heat! (_confess._, ix. iv. ). _s. augustine:_ sometimes, indeed, through immoderate fear of this mistake i err by excessive severity; nay, sometimes, though it is but rarely, i could almost wish to shut out from my ears and even from the church itself all those sweet-sounding melodies used in the accompaniment of david's psalms. sometimes it seems to me as though it would be safer to do as i have often heard that athanasius, the bishop of alexandria, did, for he made the reader of the psalms so modulate his voice that he came to be rather speaking than singing. yet, on the other hand, when i remember the tears which i shed when i heard the church's chant in the early days of my regaining the faith, and when i notice that even now i am stirred--not so much by the chant as by the things that are chanted--when, that is, they are chanted with clear intonation and suitable modulation, then once more i recognize the great value of this appointed fashion (_confess._, x. xxxiii. ). _s. augustine: i have cried with my whole heart, hear me, o lord!_[ ] who can question but that when men pray their cry to the lord is vain if it be nought but the sound of the corporeal voice and their heart be not intent upon god? but if their prayer come from the heart, then, even though the voice of the body be silent, it may be hidden from all men, yet not from god. whether, then, we pray to god with our voice--at times when such prayer is necessary--or whether we pray in silence, it is our heart that must send forth the cry. but the heart's cry is the earnest application of our minds. and when this accompanies our prayer it expresses the deep affections of him who yearns and asks and so despairs not of his request. and further, a man cries _with his whole heart_ when he has no other thought. such prayers with many are rare; with few are they frequent; i know not whether anyone's prayers are always so (_enarr. in ps._ cxviii., _sermon_, xxix. ). "incline thy ear, o lord, and hear me; for i am needy and poor. preserve my soul, for i am holy: save thy servant, o my god, that trusteth in thee. have mercy on me, o lord, for i have cried to thee all the day. give joy to the soul of thy servant, for to thee, o lord, i have lifted up my soul. for thou, o lord, art sweet and mild; and plenteous in mercy to all that call upon thee."[ ] xiii must prayer necessarily be attentive? that even holy men sometimes suffer distraction of mind when at prayer is clear from the words: _my heart hath forsaken me!_[ ] this question particularly concerns vocal prayer. and for its solution we must know that a thing is said to be necessary in two senses: firstly, in the sense that by it a certain end is _more readily_ attained, and in this sense attention is absolutely requisite in prayer. but a thing is said to be necessary also because without it a certain thing cannot attain its object _at all_. now the effect or object of prayer is threefold. its first effect--an effect, indeed, which is common to all acts springing from charity--is _merit_; but to secure this effect it is not necessarily required that attention should be kept up throughout the prayer, but the initial intention with which a man comes to prayer renders the whole prayer meritorious, as, indeed, is the case in all other meritorious acts. the second effect of prayer is peculiar to it, and that is to _obtain favours_; and for this, too, the primary intention suffices, and to it god principally looks. but if the primary intention is wanting, prayer is not meritorious, neither can it win favours; for, as s. gregory says, god hears not the prayer of a man who when he prays does not give heed to god.[ ] the third effect of prayer is that which it immediately and actually brings about, namely, the _spiritual refreshment of the soul_; and to attain this end attention is necessarily required in prayer. whence it is said, _if i pray in a tongue my understanding is without fruit_.[ ] at the same time, we must remember that there is a threefold species of attention which may find place in our vocal prayer: one by which a man attends to the words he recites, and is careful to make no mistake in them; another by which he attends to the meaning of the words; and a third by which he attends to the end of all prayer--namely, god himself--and to the object for which he is praying. and this species of attention is the most necessary of all, and one which even uninstructed folk can have; sometimes, indeed, the intensity with which the mind is borne towards god is, as says hugh of s. victor, so overwhelming that the mind is oblivious of all else.[ ] some, however, argue that prayer must of necessity be attentive, thus: . it is said in s. john's gospel[ ]: _god is a spirit, and they that adore him must adore him in spirit and truth_. but inattentive prayer is not _in spirit_. but he prays _in spirit and in truth_ who comes to pray moved by the impulse of the spirit, even though, owing to human infirmity, his mind afterwards wanders. . but again, prayer is "the ascent of the mind towards god." but when prayer is inattentive the mind does not ascend towards god. but the human mind cannot, owing to nature's weakness, long remain on high, for the soul is dragged down to lower things by the weight of human infirmity; and hence it happens that when the mind of one who prays ascends towards god in contemplation it suddenly wanders away from him owing to his infirmity. . lastly, prayer must needs be without sin. but not without sin does a man suffer distraction of mind when he prays, for he seems to mock god, just as if one were to speak with his fellow-man and not attend to what he said. consequently s. basil says[ ]: "the divine assistance is to be implored, not remissly, nor with a mind that wanders here and there; for such a one not only will not obtain what he asks, but will rather be mocking god." of course, if a man purposely allowed his mind to wander in prayer, he would commit a sin and hinder the fruit of his prayer. against such s. augustine says in his _rule_[ ]: "when you pray to god in psalms and hymns, entertain your heart with what your lips are reciting." but that distraction of mind which is unintentional does not destroy the fruit of prayer. hence s. basil also says: "but if through the weakness of sinful nature you cannot pray with attention, restrain your imagination as far as you can, and god will pardon you, inasmuch as it is not from negligence but from weakness that you are unable to occupy yourself with him as you should." * * * * * _cajetan:_ does a man satisfy the precept of the church if, being bound to the recitation of the divine office, he sets out with the intention of meditating upon the divine goodness or upon the passion of christ, and thus keeping his mind firmly fixed upon god? clearly a man who strives to keep his mind occupied during the whole of the divine office with contemplation of and devout affections towards god and divine things fully satisfies his obligation. so, too, a man who aims at meditation on the passion of christ and devout affections on it during the whole office, undoubtedly satisfies his obligation, for he is making use of a better means for keeping in touch with the divinity than if he merely dwelt upon the meaning of the words. at the same time, he must be ready to lay this aside if in the course of the office he finds himself uplifted to divine things, for at this he must primarily aim. one who so prays, then, must make the passion of christ a means and not an end; he must, that is, be prepared to ascend thereby, if god grants it, to divine things. in short, we may make use of any one of the species of attention enumerated above provided we do not exclude the higher forms. thus, for example, if a man feels that it is more suited to his small capacity to aim simply at making no mistakes, and habitually makes use of this form of attention, he must still use it as a means only; he must, that is, be at god's disposition, for god may have mercy upon him and grant him, by reason of his dispositions, some better form of attention. again, when a person prays for things needful for his support in life he must not be so occupied with the thought of these things as to appear to subordinate divine things to human, as though prayer was but a means and his daily living the end. we must bear in mind the doctrine laid down above[ ]--viz., that _all our prayers should tend to the attainment of grace and glory_. we must occupy ourselves with the thought of eternal glory, or of the glory of the adoption of sons during this life, or with the virtues as means to arriving at our eternal home, and as the adornment of the inhabitants of heaven, and the commencement here of heavenly "conversation"; such things as these must be counted as the highest forms of attention (_on_ . . . ). _s. augustine: give joy to the soul of thy servant, for to thee, o lord, i have lifted up my soul. for thou, o lord, art sweet and mild._[ ] it seems to me that he calls god "mild" because he endures all our vagaries, and only awaits our prayers that he may perfect us. and when we offer him our prayers he accepts them gratefully and hears them. neither does he reflect on the careless way in which we pour them out, he even accepts prayers of which we are hardly conscious! for, brethren, what man is there who would put up with it if a friend of his began a conversation with him, and yet, just when he was ready to reply to what his friend said, should discover that he was paying no attention to him but was saying something to someone else? or supposing you were to appeal to a judge and were to appoint a place for him to hear your appeal, and then suddenly, while you were talking with him, were to put him aside and begin to gossip with a friend! how long would he put up with you? and yet god puts up with the hearts of so many who pray to him and who yet are thinking of other things, even evil things, even wicked things, things hateful to god; for even to think of unnecessary things is an insult to him with whom you have begun to talk. for your prayer is a conversation with god. when you read, god speaks to you; when you pray, you speak to god.... and you may picture god saying to you: "you forget how often you have stood before me and have thought of such idle and superfluous things and have so rarely poured out to me an attentive and definite prayer!" but _thou, o lord, art sweet and mild_! thou art sweet, bearing with me! it is from weakness that i slip away! heal me and i shall stand; strengthen me and i shall be firm! but until thou dost so, bear with me, for _thou, o lord, art sweet and mild_ (_enarr. in ps._ lxxxv. ). _s. augustine: praise the lord, o my soul!_[ ] what mean these words, brethren? do we not praise the lord? do we not sing hymns day by day? do not our mouths, each according to their measure, sound forth day by day the praises of god? and what is it we praise? it is a great thing that we praise, but that wherewith we praise is weak as yet. when does the singer fill up the praises of him whom he sings? a man stands and sings before god, often for a long space; but oftentimes, whilst his lips move to frame the words of his song, his thoughts fly away to i know not what desires! and so, too, our mind has sometimes been fixed on praising god in a definite manner, but our soul has flitted away, led hither and thither by divers desires and anxious cares. and then our mind, as though from up above, has looked down upon the soul as it flitted to and fro, and has seemed to turn to it and address its uneasy wanderings--saying to it: _praise the lord, o my soul!_ why art thou anxious about other things than him? why busy thyself with the mortal things of earth? and then our soul, as though weighed down and unable to stand firm as it should, replies to our mind: _i will praise the lord in my life!_ why does it say _in my life_? why? because now i am in my death! rouse yourself, then, and say: _praise the lord, o my soul!_ and your soul will reply to you: "i praise him as much as i can, though it is but weakly, in small measure, and with little strength." but why so? because _while we are in the body we are absent from the lord_.[ ] and why do you thus praise the lord so imperfectly and with so little fixity of attention? ask holy scripture: _the corruptible body weigheth down the soul, and the earthly_ _habitation presseth down the mind that museth upon many things._[ ] o take away, then, my body which weigheth down the soul, and then will i praise the lord! take away my earthly habitation which presseth down the mind that museth upon many things, so that, instead of many things i may be occupied with one thing alone, and may praise the lord! but as long as i am as i am, i cannot, for i am weighed down! what then? wilt thou be silent? wilt thou never perfectly praise the lord? _i will praise the lord in my life!_ (_enarr in ps._ cxlv. ). "my spirit is in anguish within me; my heart within me is troubled. i remembered the days of old, i meditated on all thy works; i meditated upon the works of thy hands. i stretched forth my hands to thee; my soul is as earth without water unto thee. hear me speedily, o lord: my spirit hath fainted away."[ ] _s. thomas:_ the fruits of prayer are twofold. for first there is the merit which thereby accrues to a man; and, secondly, there is the spiritual consolation and devotion which is begotten of prayer. and he who does not attend to, or does not understand his prayer, loses that fruit which is spiritual consolation; but we cannot say that he loses that fruit which is merit, for then we should have to say that very many prayers were without merit since a man can hardly say the _lord's prayer_ without some distraction of mind. hence we must rather say that when a person is praying and is sometimes distracted from what he is saying, or--more generally--when a person is occupied with some meritorious work and does not continuously and at every moment reflect that he is doing it for god, his work does not cease to be meritorious. and the reason is that in meritorious acts directed to a right end it is not requisite that our intention should be referred to that end at every moment, but the influence of the intention with which we begun persists throughout even though we now and again be distracted in some particular point; and the influence of this initial intention renders the whole body of what we do meritorious unless it be broken off by reason of some contrary affection intruding itself and diverting us from the end we had first in view to some other end contrary to it. and it must be remembered that there are three kinds of attention. the first is attention to the words we are actually saying; and sometimes this is harmful, for it may hinder devotion. the second is attention to the meaning of the words, and this, too, may be harmful, though not gravely so. the third is attention to the goal of our prayer, and this better and almost necessary (_commentary on cor._ xiv. ). xiv should our prayers be long? it would seem that we ought to pray continuously, for our lord said: _we ought always to pray and not to faint[ ];_ so also s. paul: _pray without ceasing_.[ ] but we must notice that when we speak of prayer we can mean either prayer _considered in itself_ or the _cause of prayer_. now the _cause of prayer_ is the desire of the love of god; and all prayer ought to spring from this desire which is, indeed, continuous in us, whether actually or virtually, since this desire virtually remains in everything which we do from charity. but we ought to do all things for the glory of god: _whether you eat or whether you drink, or whatsoever else you do, do all to the glory of god_.[ ] in this sense, then, prayer ought to be continual. hence s. augustine says to proba: "therefore by our faith, by our hope, and by our charity, we are always praying, for our desire is continued." but _prayer considered in itself_ cannot be so continuous; for we must needs be occupied with other things. hence s. augustine says in the same place: "at certain intervals, at divers hours and times, we pray to god in words so that by these outward signs of things we may admonish ourselves, and may learn what progress we have made in this same desire, and may stir ourselves up to increase it." but the quantity of a thing has to be determined by its purpose, just as a draught has to be proportioned to the health of the man who takes it. consequently it is fitting that prayer should only last so long as it avails to stir up in us this fervour of interior desire. and when it exceeds this measure, and its prolongation only results in weariness, it must not be prolonged further. hence s. augustine also says to proba: "the brethren in egypt are said to have had frequent prayers; but they were exceedingly brief, hardly more than eager ejaculations; and they adopted this method lest, if they prolonged their prayer, that vigilant attention which is requisite for prayer should lose its keen edge and become dulled. and thus they clearly show that this same attention, just as it is not to be forced if it fails to last, so neither is it to be quickly broken off if it does last." and just as we have to pay attention to this in our private prayers, and have to be guided by our powers of attention, so must we observe the same principles in public prayer where we have to be governed by the people's devotion. some, however, argue that our prayers ought not to be continual, thus: . our lord said[ ]: _and when you are praying speak not much_. but it is not easy to see how a man can pray long without "speaking much"; more especially if it is a question of vocal prayer. but s. augustine says to proba: "to prolong our prayer does not involve 'much-speaking.' 'much-speaking' is one thing; the unceasing desire of the heart is another. indeed we are told of the lord himself that _he passed the whole night in the prayer of god_[ ]; and, again, that _being in an agony he prayed the longer_,[ ] and this that he might afford us an example." and augustine adds a little later: "much speaking in prayer is to be avoided, but not much petition, if fervent attention lasts. for 'much-speaking' in prayer means the use of superfluous words when we pray for something necessary; but much petition means that with unceasing and devout stirrings of the heart we knock at his door to whom we pray; and this is often a matter rather of groans than of words, of weeping than of speaking." . further, prayer is but the unfolding of our desires. but our desires are holy in proportion as they are confined to one thing, in accordance with those words of the psalmist[ ]: _one thing i have asked of the lord, this will i seek after._ whence it would seem to follow that our prayers are acceptable to god just in proportion to their brevity. but to prolong our prayer does not mean that we ask for many things, but that our hearts are continuously set upon one object for which we yearn. . once more, it is unlawful for a man to transgress the limits which god himself has fixed, especially in matters which touch the divine worship, according to the words: _charge the people lest they should have a mind to pass the limits to see the lord, and a very great multitude of them should perish_.[ ] but god himself has assigned limits to our prayer by instituting the _lord's prayer_, as is evident from the words: _thus shalt thou pray_.[ ] hence we ought not to extend our prayer beyond these limits. but our lord did not institute this prayer with a view to tying us down exclusively to these words when we pray, but to show us that the scope of our prayer should be limited to asking only for the things contained in it, whatever form of words we may use or whatever may be our thoughts. . and lastly, with regard to the words of our lord _that we ought always to pray and not to faint_,[ ] and those of s. paul, _pray without ceasing_,[ ] we must remark that a man prays without ceasing, either because of the unceasing nature of his desire, as we have above explained; or because he does not fail to pray at the appointed times; or because of the effect which his prayer has, whether upon himself--since even when he has finished praying he still remains devout--or upon others, as, for instance, when a man by some kind action induces another to pray for him whereas he himself desists from his prayer. "our soul waiteth for the lord; for he is our helper and protector. for in him our hearts shall rejoice; and in his holy name we have trusted. let thy mercy, o lord, be upon us, as we have hoped in thee."[ ] xv is prayer meritorious? on the words of the psalmist, _my prayer shall be turned into my bosom_,[ ] the interlinear gloss has: "and if it is of no profit to them (for whom it is offered), at least i myself shall not lose my reward." a reward, however, can only be due to merit. prayer, then, is meritorious. * * * * * as we have said above, prayer has, besides the effect of spiritual consolation which it brings with it, a twofold power regarding the future: the power, namely, of meriting, and that of winning favours. but prayer, as indeed every other virtuous act, derives its power of meriting from that root which is charity, and the true and proper object of charity is that eternal good, the enjoyment of which we merit. now prayer proceeds from charity by means of the virtue of religion whose proper act is prayer; there accompany it, however, certain other virtues which are requisite for a good prayer--namely, faith and humility. for it belongs to the virtue of religion to offer our prayers to god; while to charity belongs the desire of that the attainment of which we seek in prayer. and faith is necessary as regards god to whom we pray; for we must, of course, believe that from him we can obtain what we ask. humility, too, is called for on the part of the petitioner, for he must acknowledge his own needs. and devotion also is necessary; though this comes under religion of which it is the first act, it conditions all subsequent effects. and its power of obtaining favours prayer owes to the grace of god to whom we pray, and who, indeed, induces us to pray. hence s. augustine says[ ]: "he would not urge us to ask unless he were ready to give"; and s. chrysostom says: "he never refuses his mercies to them who pray, since it is he who in his loving-kindness stirs them up so that they weary not in prayer." * * * * * but some say that prayer cannot be meritorious, thus: . merit proceeds from grace, but prayer precedes grace, since it is precisely by prayer that we win grace: _your father from heaven will give the good spirit to them that ask him_.[ ] but prayer, like any other virtuous act, cannot be meritorious without that grace which makes us pleasing to god. yet even that prayer which wins for us the grace which renders us pleasing to god must proceed from some grace--that is, from some gratuitous gift; for, as s. augustine says, to pray at all is a gift of god.[ ] . again, prayer cannot be meritorious, for if it were so it would seem natural that prayer should especially merit that for which we actually pray. yet this is not always the case, for even the prayers of the saints are often not heard; s. paul, for example, was not heard when he prayed that the sting of the flesh might be taken away from him.[ ] but we must notice that the merit of our prayers sometimes lies in something quite different from what we beg for. for whereas merit is to be especially referred to the possession of god, our petitions in our prayers at times refer directly to other things, as we have pointed out above. consequently, if what a man asks for will not tend to his ultimate attainment of god, he does not merit it by his prayer; sometimes, indeed, by asking and desiring such a thing he may lose all merit, as, for example, if a man were to ask of god something which was sinful and which he could not reverently ask for. sometimes, however, what he asks for is not necessary for his salvation, nor yet is it clearly opposed to his salvation; and when a man so prays he may by his prayer merit eternal life, but he does not merit to obtain what he actually asks for. hence s. augustine says[ ]: "he who asks of god in faith things needful for this life is sometimes mercifully heard and sometimes mercifully not heard. for the physician knows better than the patient what will avail for the sick man." it was for this reason that paul was not heard when he asked that the sting of the flesh might be taken away--it was not expedient. but if what a man asks for will help him to the attainment of god, as being something conducive to his salvation, he will merit it, and that not only by praying for it but also by doing other good works; hence, too, he undoubtedly will obtain what he asks for, but when it is fitting that he should obtain it: "for some things are not refused to us but are deferred, to be given at a fitting time," as s. augustine says.[ ] yet even here hindrance may arise if a man does not persevere in asking; hence s. basil says[ ]: "when then you ask and do not receive, this is either because you asked for what you ought not, or because you asked without lively faith, or carelessly, or for what would not profit you, or because you ceased to ask." and since a man cannot, absolutely speaking, merit eternal life for another, nor, in consequence, those things which belong to eternal life, it follows that a man is not always heard when he prays for another. for a man, then, always to obtain what he asks, four conditions must concur: he must ask for himself, for things necessary for salvation; he must ask piously and perseveringly. . lastly, prayer essentially reposes upon faith, as s. james says: _but let him ask in faith, nothing wavering_.[ ] but faith is not sufficient for merit, as is evident in the case of those who have faith without charity. therefore prayer is not meritorious. but while it is true that prayer rests principally upon faith, this is not for its power of meriting--for as regards this it rests principally on charity--but for its power of winning favours; for through faith man knows of the divine omnipotence and mercy whence prayer obtains what it asks. * * * * * _s. augustine:_ men, then, love different things, and when each one seemeth to have what he loves, he is called happy. but a man is truly happy, not if he has what he loves, but if he loves what ought to be loved. for many become more wretched through having what they love than they were when they lacked it. miserable enough through loving harmful things, more miserable through having them. and our merciful god, when we love amiss, denies us what we love; but sometimes in his anger he grants a man what he loves amiss!... but when we love what god wishes us to love, then, doubtless, he will give it us. this is that one thing which ought to be loved: that we may dwell in the house of the lord all the days of our life! (_enarr. in ps._ xxvi.). _s. augustine:_ in those tribulations, then, which can both profit us and harm us, we know not what we should pray for as we ought. yet none the less since they are hard, since they are vexatious, since, too, they are opposed to our sense of our own weakness, mankind with one consent prays that they may be removed from us. but we owe this much devotion to the lord our god that, if he refuses to remove them, we should not therefore fancy that we are neglected by him, but, while bearing these woes with devout patience, we should hope for some greater good, for thus is power perfected in infirmity. yet to some in their impatience the lord god grants in anger what they ask, just as in his mercy he refused it to the apostle (_ep._ cxxx. _ad probam_). "hear my prayer, o lord, and my supplication; give ear to my tears. be not silent: for i am a stranger with thee, and a sojourner as all my fathers were. o forgive me, that i may be refreshed; before i go hence, and be no more."[ ] xvi do sinners gain anything from god by their prayers? s. augustine says[ ]: "if god did not hear sinners, in vain would the publican have said, _god be merciful to me a sinner_"; and s. chrysostom says[ ]: "_every one that asketh receiveth_--that is, whether he be just man or sinner." hence the prayers of sinners do win something from god. in a sinner we have to consider two things: his nature, which god loves; his fault, which god hates. if, then, a sinner asks something of god formally as a sinner--that is, according to his sinful desires--god, out of his mercy, does not hear him, though sometimes he does hear him in his vengeance, as when he permits a sinner to fall still farther into sin. for god "in mercy refuses some things which in anger he concedes," as s. augustine says.[ ] but that prayer of a sinner which proceeds from the good desire of his nature god hears, not, indeed, as bound in justice to do so, for that the sinner cannot merit, but out of his pure mercy, and on condition, too, that the four above-mentioned conditions are observed--namely, that he prays for himself, for things needful for his salvation, that he prays devoutly and perseveringly. some, however, maintain that sinners do not by their prayers win anything from god, thus: . it is said in the gospel,[ ] _now we know that god doth not hear sinners_; and this accords with those words of _proverbs[ ]; he that turneth away his ears from hearing the law, his prayer shall be an abomination_. but a prayer which is "an abomination" cannot win anything from god. but, as s. augustine remarks,[ ] the words first quoted are due to the blind man as yet unanointed--viz., not yet perfectly illumined--and hence they are not valid; though they might be true if understood of a sinner precisely as such, and in this sense, too, his prayer is said to be "an abomination." . again, just men obtain from god what they merit, as we have said above. sinners, however, can merit nothing, since they are without grace, and even without charity which, according to the gloss[ ] on the words, _having an appearance of piety, but denying the power thereof_, is "the _power_ of piety." and hence they cannot pray piously, which, as we have said above, is requisite if prayer is to gain what it asks for. but though a sinner cannot pray piously in the sense that his prayer springs from the habit of virtue, yet his prayer can be pious in the sense that he asks for something conducive to piety, just as a man who has not got the habit of justice can yet wish for some just thing, as we have pointed out above. and though such a man's prayer is not meritorious, it may yet have the power of winning favours; for while merit reposes upon justice, the power of winning favours reposes upon grace. . lastly, s. chrysostom says[ ]: "the father does not readily hear prayers not dictated by the son." but in the prayer which christ dictated it is said: _forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors_, which sinners do not. hence sinners either lie when they say this prayer, and so do not deserve to be heard, or, if they do not say it, then they are not heard because they do not make use of the form of prayer instituted by christ. but, as we have explained above, the _lord's prayer_ is spoken in the name of the whole church. consequently, if a man--while unwilling to forgive his neighbour his debts--yet says this prayer, he does not lie; for while what he says is not true as regards himself, it yet remains true as regards the person of the church outside of which he deservedly is, and he loses, in consequence, the fruit of his prayer. sometimes, however, sinners are ready to forgive their debtors, and consequently their prayers are heard, in accordance with those words of ecclesiasticus[ ]: _forgive thy neighbour if he hath hurt thee, and then shall thy sins be forgiven to thee when thou prayest._ "with the lord shall the steps of a man be directed, and he shall like well his way. when he shall fall, he shall not be bruised, for the lord putteth his hand under him. i have been young, and now am old; and i have not seen the just forsaken, nor his seed seeking bread."[ ] xvii can we rightly term supplications," "prayers," "intercessions," and "thanksgivings," parts of prayer? the apostle says to timothy[ ]: _i desire therefore first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made by all men._ for prayer three things are required: first of all, that he who prays come nigh to god; and this is signified by the name _prayer_, for prayer is "the uplifting of the mind towards god." secondly, petition is required, and is signified by the word _postulation_; now a petition may be set forth in definite terms--and this some term _postulation_, properly so called; or it may be set forth in no express terms, as when a man asks for god's help, and this some call _supplication_; or, again, the fact in question may be simply narrated, as in s. john[ ]: _he whom thou lovest is sick_, and this some call _insinuation_. and thirdly, there is required a reason for asking for what we pray for, and this reason may be either on the part of god or on the part of the petitioner. the reason for asking on the part of god is his holiness, by reason of which we ask to be heard: _incline thine ear and hear ... for thine own sake, o my god_;[ ] to this belongs _obsecration_--namely, an appeal to sacred things, as when we say: _by thy nativity, deliver us, o lord_! but the reason for asking on the part of the petitioner is thankfulness, for by giving thanks for benefits already received we merit to receive still greater ones, as is set forth in the church's _collect_.[ ] hence the gloss[ ] says that in the mass "_obsecrations_ are the prayers which precede the consecration," for in them we commemorate certain sacred things; "in the consecration itself we have _prayers_," for then the mind is especially uplifted towards god; "but in the subsequent petitions we have _postulations_, and at the close _thanksgivings_." these four parts of prayer may be noticed in many of the church's _collects_: thus in the _collect_ for trinity sunday, the words _almighty and everlasting god_ signify the uplifting of the soul in prayer to god; the words: _who hast granted to thy servants to acknowledge in their profession of the true faith the glory of the eternal trinity, and in the power of its majesty to adore its unity_, signify giving of thanks; the words: _grant, we beseech thee, that by perseverance in this same faith we may be ever defended from all adversities_, signify postulation; while the closing words: _through our lord jesus christ_, etc., signify obsecration. in the _conferences of the fathers_, however,[ ] we read: "_obsecration_ is imploring pardon for sin; _prayer_ is when we make vows to god; _postulation_ is when we make petition for others; _giving of thanks_, those ineffable outpourings by which the mind renders thanks to god." but the former explanation is preferable. some, however, object to these divisions of prayer, thus: . _obsecration_ is apparently _to swear by someone_, whereas origen remarks[ ]: "a man who desires to live in accordance with the gospel must not swear by anyone, for if it is not allowed to swear, neither is it allowed to swear by anyone." but it is sufficient to remark that _obsecration_ is not a swearing by, or adjuring of god, as though to compel him, for this is forbidden, but to implore his mercy. . again, s. john damascene says[ ] that prayer is "the asking god for things that are fitting." hence it is not exact to distinguish _prayers_ from _postulations_. but prayer, generally considered, embraces all the above-mentioned parts; when, however, we distinguish one part against another, _prayer_, properly speaking, means the uplifting of the mind to god. . lastly, giving of thanks refers to the past, whereas the other parts of prayer refer to the future. hence giving of thanks should not be placed after the rest. but whereas in things which are different from one another the past precedes the future, in one and the same thing the future precedes the past. hence giving of thanks for benefits already received precedes petition; yet those same benefits were first asked for, and then, when they had been received, thanks were offered for them. prayer, however, precedes petition, for by it we draw nigh to god to whom we make petition. and _obsecration_ precedes _prayer_, for it is from dwelling upon the divine goodness that we venture to approach to him. * * * * * _cajetan:_ we might be asked how the mind can be especially elevated to god at the moment of consecration. for in the consecration the priest has to express distinctly the words of consecration, and consequently cannot have his mind uplifted towards god at that moment. indeed, the more his mind is uplifted to god, the less he thinks of inferior things, words, and so forth. but in the consecration of the holy eucharist--in which the priest in a sense brings god down upon earth--the very greatness of our uplifting of mind towards the divine goodness which has thus deigned to come amongst us is the very reason for our attention to the words in the act of consecration, and makes the priest pronounce them distinctly and reverently. some scrupulous folk, however, concentrate their whole attention on being intent and attentive; but this is really a distraction, and not attention, for its object is precisely the being attentive. the uplifting, then, of our minds to god in the consecration has indeed to be the very greatest, not, indeed, intensively and by abstraction from the things of sense, but objectively and concentrated--though always within the limits compatible with attention--on the endeavour to say the words as they should be said (_on_ . . . .) * * * * * _s. augustine: and david went in and sat before the lord[ ]; and elias, casting himself down upon the earth, put his face between his knees._[ ] by examples such as these we are taught that there is no prescribed position of the body in prayer provided the soul states its intention in the presence of god. for we pray standing, as it is written: _the publican standing afar off_. we pray, too, on our knees, as we read in the acts of the apostles;[ ] and we pray sitting, as in the case of david and elias. and unless it were lawful to pray lying down, it would not be said in the psalms[ ]: _every night i will wash my bed, i will water my couch with my tears_. when, then, a man desires to pray, he settles himself in any position that serves at the time for the stirring up of his soul. when, on the other hand, we have no definite intention of praying, but the wish to pray suddenly occurs to us--when, that is, there comes of a sudden into our mind something which rouses the desire to pray "with unspeakable groanings"--then, in whatsoever position such a feeling may find us, we are not to put off our prayer; we are not to look about for some place whither we can withdraw, for some place in which to stand or in which to make prostration. for the very intention of the mind begets a solitude, and we often forget to which quarter of the heavens we were looking, or in what bodily position the occasion found us (_of divers questions_, iv.). "hear, o god, my prayer, and despise not my supplication; be attentive to me and hear me. i am grieved in my exercise; and am troubled at the voice of the enemy, and at the tribulation of the sinner. for they have cast iniquities upon me, and in wrath they were troublesome to me. my heart is troubled within me, and the fear of death is fallen upon me. fear and trembling are come upon me, and darkness hath covered me. and i said: who will give me wings like a dove, and i will fly and be at rest?"[ ] footnotes: [ ] _etymologies_, x., _sub litt._ o. [ ] ps. xxxviii. . [ ] _ethics_, i. xiii. . [ ] rabanus maurus, _de universis_, vi. . [ ] _on the orthodox faith_, iii. . [ ] ps. x. . [ ] isa. lxv. . [ ] _of the divine names_, vi. . [ ] ps. xxvi. . [ ] art. xv. [ ] isa. lxiv. , . [ ] xviii. . [ ] mal. iii. . [ ] _dialogue_, i. . [ ] s. matt. vi. . [ ] kings xv. . [ ] _of good deeds_, ii. . [ ] _hom._ ii., _on prayer_; also _hom._ xxx., _on genesis_. [ ] eph. i. . [ ] ps. lxx. , . [ ] s. matt. vii. . [ ] ps. cxx. . [ ] s. matt. vi. . [ ] ps. ciii. , . [ ] ps. lxxxiii. . [ ] viii. . [ ] cor. xiv. . [ ] _on care for the dead_, chaps, xiii., xv., xvi. [ ] _moralia in job_, xii. . [ ] ps. lxvi. [ ] s. matt. vi. - ; s. luke xi. - . [ ] _of socrates the philosopher_, vii. . [ ] ps. lxxix. . [ ] ps. cxviii. . [ ] _on the orthodox faith_, iii. . [ ] iv. . [ ] rom. viii. . [ ] s. john iv. . [ ] tim. ii. . [ ] isa. lxiii. , . [ ] xxx. . [ ] _ep._, cxxx., chap. xii. [ ] _ethics_, i. vii. . [ ] _ep._, cxxx., chap. vi. [ ] s. matt. vi. . [ ] _on the sermon on the mount_, ii. x. . [ ] s. matt. vi. . [ ] cor. iv. . [ ] ps. xxxvii. . [ ] thess. v. . [ ] heb. iv. . [ ] ps. liv. . [ ] v. . [ ] _opus imperf. in matthæum, hom._ xiv. [ ] _on the lord's prayer._ [ ] s. john xvi. . [ ] _tractatus in joannem_, . [ ] xv. . [ ] ps. xxxiv. . [ ] jer. vii. . [ ] eccles. vii. . [ ] john v. . [ ] _de correptionibus et gratia_, cap. xv. [ ] rom. xv. . [ ] cor. i. . [ ] s. john xxii. . [ ] s. matt. v. . [ ] xv. . [ ] ps. vi. . [ ] _on the sermon on the mount_, i. . [ ] apoc. vi. . [ ] ps. lvii. . [ ] _on the sermon on the mount_, i. , and _questions on the gospels_, ii., xlv. [ ] _questions on the old and new testament, qu._ lxviii. [ ] ecclus. xxxvi. - . [ ] _ep._ cxxx. . [ ] _ep._ cxxx. . [ ] _comment. on s. matthew_, vi. [ ] cor. vi. , . [ ] s. luke i. . [ ] ps. cxliv. . [ ] isa. xlvi. . [ ] _on the sermon on the mount_, ii. . [ ] _ep._ cxxx. . [ ] _enchiridion_, . [ ] _on the sermon on the mount_, ii. . [ ] xi. - . [ ] _enchiridion_, . [ ] john iv. . [ ] s. john xvii. - . [ ] see touron, o.p., _vie de s. thomas d'aquin_, p. ; paris, . [ ] s. john xiv. . [ ] rom. viii. . [ ] xcvi. . [ ] ps. cxlvi. . [ ] ecclus. xxxvi. , . [ ] macc. xv. . [ ] _contra vigilantium_, vi. [ ] _heb._ vii. . s. thomas is quoting from memory. [ ] exod. iii. . [ ] ps. cxli. . [ ] _ep._ cxxx. . [ ] ps. xxvi. . [ ] kings i. . [ ] osee xiv. . [ ] ps. xv. . [ ] s. matt. vi. . [ ] _opus imperf. hom. xiii. in matt._ [ ] _on the sermon on the mount_, ii. . [ ] ps. cxviii. . [ ] ps. lxxxv. - . [ ] ps. xxxix. . [ ] implicitly, _moralia in job_, xxii. ; but see hugh of s. victor, _exposition of the rule of s. augustine_, iii. [ ] cor. xiv. . [ ] _of the manner of prayer_, ii. [ ] iv. . [ ] _on the monastic constitutions_, chap. i. [ ] _ep._ cxxi. [ ] art. iv. [ ] ps. lxxv. , . [ ] ps. cxlv. . [ ] cor. v. . [ ] wisd. ix. . [ ] ps. cxlii. - . [ ] s. luke xviii. . [ ] thess. v. . [ ] cor. x. . [ ] s. matt. vi. . [ ] s. luke vi. . [ ] s. luke xxii. . [ ] ps. xxvi. . [ ] exod. xix. . [ ] s. matt. vi. . [ ] s. luke xviii. . [ ] thess. v. . [ ] ps. xxxii. - . [ ] ps. xxxiv. . [ ] _on the sermon on the mount_, sermon cv. i. [ ] st. luke vi. . [ ] _on perseverance_, chap. xxiii. [ ] cor. xii. - . [ ] s. prosper, _the book of sentences gleaned from s. augustine_, sent. . [ ] _tractatus in joannem_, . [ ] _monastic constitutions_, chap, i. [ ] i. . [ ] ps. xxxviii. , . [ ] _tractatus in joannem_, . [ ] _opus imperf. in matt., hom._ xviii. [ ] _tractatus in joannem_, ; and _de verbis domini_, sermon cccliv. . [ ] s. john ix. . [ ] xxviii. . [ ] _tractatus in joannem_, . [ ] implicitly in the old interlinear gloss on tim. iii. . [ ] _opus imperf. in matt., hom._ xiv. [ ] xxviii. . [ ] ps. xxxvi. - . [ ] tim. ii. . [ ] xi. . [ ] dan. ix. , . [ ] friday in the september ember days. [ ] the ordinary gloss on the words _obsecrations_, _prayers_, etc., in tim. ii. . [ ] _collat._, ix., chaps. xi-xiii. [ ] _tractatus_ xxxv. _in matt._ [ ] _de orthodoxa fide_, iii. . [ ] kings vii. . [ ] kings xviii. . [ ] vii. ; xx. . [ ] vi. . [ ] ps. liv. - . from the supplement to the summa--question lxxii of the prayers of the saints who are in heaven i. are the saints cognizant of our prayers? ii. ought we to appeal to the saints to intercede for us? iii. are the saints' prayers to god for us always heard? i are the saints cognizant of our prayers? on those words of job,[ ] _whether his children come to honour or dishonour, he shall not understand_, s. gregory says: "this is not to be understood of the souls of the saints, for they see from within the glory of almighty god, it is in nowise credible that there should be anything without of which they are ignorant."[ ] and he says also: "to the soul that sees its creator all created things are but trifling; for, however little of the creator's light he sees, all that is created becomes of small import to him."[ ] yet the greatest difficulty in saying that the souls of the saints know our prayers and other things which concern us, is their distance from us. but since, according to the authority just quoted, this distance does not preclude such knowledge, it appears that the souls of the saints do know our prayers and other things which concern us. further, if they did not know what concerned us, neither would they pray for us, since they would not know our deficiencies. but this was the error of vigilantius, as s. jerome says in his epistle against him.[ ] the saints, then, know what concerns us. * * * * * the divine essence, then, is a sufficient medium for knowing all things, as, indeed, is evident from the fact that god in seeing his own essence sees all things. yet it does not follow that whoever sees the essence of god therefore sees all things, but those only who _comprehend_ the essence of god; just in the same way as it does not follow that because we know a principle we therefore know all that that principle contains, for that would only be the case if we _comprehended_ the whole power of the principle. since, then, the souls of the saints do not comprehend the divine essence, it does not follow that they know everything which could be known through the medium of that divine essence. hence the inferior angels are taught certain things by the higher angels, though all see the divine essence. but each person in possession of the beatific vision only sees in the divine essence as much of other things as is necessitated by the degree of perfection of his beatitude; and for the perfection of beatitude it is required that a man "should have whatever he wants, and should desire nothing in an inordinate fashion."[ ] each one, however, rightly desires to know those things which concern himself. hence, since no rectitude is lacking to the saints, they wish to know those things which concern themselves, and consequently they must know them in the word. but it belongs to their glory that they should be able to help on the salvation of those who need it, for it is thus that they are made co-workers with god--"than which there is nought more divine," as denis says.[ ] it is clear, then, that the saints have a knowledge of those things which are requisite for this end. and so, too, it is manifest that they know in the word the desires, the devout acts and the prayers, of men who fly to them for help. some, however, maintain that the saints do not know our prayers, thus: . on the words of isaias,[ ] _thou art our father, and abraham hath not known us, and israel hath been ignorant of us_, the interlinear gloss has: "for the saints who are dead know not what the living do, even their own children." this is taken from s. augustine's treatise _on care for the dead_, xiii., where he quotes these words, and adds: "if these great patriarchs were ignorant of what concerned those whom they had begotten, how can the dead be concerned with knowing and assisting the affairs and the deeds of the living?" hence it would seem that the saints are not cognizant of our prayers. but these words of s. augustine are to be understood of the natural knowledge of the souls separated (from this world); and this knowledge is not obscured in holy men as it is in sinners. moreover, s. augustine is not talking of that knowledge which is in the word, a knowledge which it is clear that abraham had not at the time that isaias said these things; for anterior to christ's passion no one had attained to the vision of god. . in kings xxii. , it is said to josias the king: _therefore_--because, that is, thou didst weep before me--_i will gather thee to thy fathers ... that thy eyes may not see all the evils which i will bring upon this place_. but the death of josias would have been no relief to him if he was to know after death what was going to happen to his nation. the saints, then, who are dead, do not know our acts, and consequently cannot understand our prayers. but although after this life the saints know the things which are done here below, we are not therefore to suppose that they are filled with grief at the knowledge of the afflictions of those whom they loved in the world. for they are so filled with the joy of their beatitude that sorrow finds no place in them. hence, if they know after death the evil plight of those dear to them, it is none the less a relief to their sorrow if they are withdrawn from this world before those woes come on. at the same time it is possible that souls not yet in glory would feel a certain grief if they were made aware of the sorrows of those dear to them. and since the soul of josias was not immediately glorified on its quitting the body, s. augustine endeavours to argue that the souls of the dead have no knowledge of the deeds of the living.[ ] . again, the more a person is perfected in charity the more ready he is to succour his neighbour in peril. but the saints while still in the flesh had a care for their neighbours, and especially for their relatives, when in peril. since, then, they are after death far more perfected in charity, if they were cognizant of our deeds, they would have now a much greater care for those dear to them or related to them, and would help them much more in their necessities; but this does not seem to be the case. whence it would seem that they are not cognizant of our actions nor of our prayers. but the souls of the saints have their will perfectly conformed to the will of god, even in what they would will. consequently, while retaining their feelings of charity towards their neighbour, they afford them no other assistance than that which they see is arranged for them in accordance with divine justice. yet at the same time we must believe that they help their neighbours very much indeed by interceding for them with god. . further, just as the saints after death see the word, so also do the angels, for of them it is said: _their angels in heaven always see the face of my father who is in heaven_.[ ] but the angels, though seeing the word, do not therefore know all things, for the inferior angels are purified of their ignorance by the superior angels, as is evident from denis.[ ] consequently, neither do the saints, although they see the word, know in it our prayers and other things which concern us. but although it is not necessary that those who see the word should see all things in the word, they none the less see those things which belong to the perfection of their beatitude, as we have said above. . lastly, god alone is the searcher of hearts. but prayer is essentially an affair of the heart. consequently god alone knows our prayers. but god alone knows of himself the thoughts of the heart; others know them according as they are revealed to them either in their vision of the word or in any other way. ii ought we to appeal to the saints to intercede for us? in the book of job,[ ] it is said: _call now, if there be any that will answer thee; and turn to some of the saints_. and on this s. gregory says: "it is our business to call, and to beseech god in humble prayer."[ ] when, then, we desire to pray to god, we ought to turn to the saints that they may pray for us. further, the saints who are in the fatherland are more acceptable in the sight of god than they were when upon earth. but we ought to ask the saints even when on earth to be our intercessors with god, as the apostle shows us by his example when he says: _i beseech you, therefore, brethren, through our lord jesus christ, and by the charity of the holy ghost, that you help me in your prayers for me to god_.[ ] much more, then, should we ask the saints who are in our fatherland to help us by their prayers to god. moreover, the common custom of the church confirms this, since in her litanies she asks the prayers of the saints. * * * * * in the words of denis,[ ] "there is this divinely established harmony in things--that they which hold the lowest place should be brought to god through them that come between them and god." since, then, the saints who are in our fatherland are most nigh to god, the harmony of the divine government demands that we who, abiding in the body, are "absent from the lord," should be led to him by the saints who stand midway; and this is secured when through their means the divine goodness pours out its effects upon us. and since our return to god ought to correspond to the orderly way in which his goodnesses flow upon us--for his benefits flow out upon us through the intervention of the saints' suffrages for us--so also ought we to be brought back to god through the intervention of the saints, and thus once more receive his benefits. whence it is that we make them our intercessors for us with god--and, as it were, mediators--by begging them to pray for us. * * * * * but some say that we should not ask the saints to pray for us, thus: . no one asks a man's friends to intercede for him except in so far as he thinks that he can obtain a favour more easily through them. but god is infinitely more merciful than any saint, and consequently his will is more readily inclined to hear us than is the will of any saint. whence it would seem superfluous to make the saints mediators between ourselves and god, and so ask them to intercede for us. but just as it is not by reason of any deficiency on the part of the divine power that it works through the mediumship of secondary causes, whereas it rather tends to the fulfilment of the harmony of the universe that his goodness should be more copiously diffused upon things, so that things not only receive from him their own peculiar goodness, but themselves become a source of goodness to other things as well; so in the same way it is not by reason of any lack of mercy on his part that appeal to his mercy by means of the prayers of the saints is fitting; but this is done in order that the aforesaid harmony may be preserved. . if we ought to ask the saints to pray for us, it can only be because we know that their prayers are acceptable to god. but the more saintly is a saint, the more acceptable is his prayer to god. consequently we ought always to make the greater saints our intercessors with god, and never the lesser ones. yet although the greater saints are more acceptable to god than are the lesser ones, it is still useful to pray sometimes to the lesser saints. and this for five reasons: firstly, because a man sometimes has a greater devotion to some lesser saint than to one who is greater; and the efficacy of our prayers depends very much on our devotion. secondly, in order to avoid weariness; for unremitting application to one thing begets distaste; but when we pray to various saints fresh devotional fervour is stirred up in practically each case. thirdly, because certain saints are appointed the patrons of certain particular cases, so s. antony for the avoidance of hell-fire. fourthly, that so we may show due honour to them all. fifthly, because sometimes a favour may be gained at the prayer of many which would not be gained at the prayer of one alone. . christ, even as man, is termed _the saint of saints_;[ ] and it belongs to him, as man, to pray. yet we never ask christ to pray for us. hence it is superfluous to make the saints our intercessors with god. but prayer is an act. and acts belong to individual beings. consequently, if we were to say, _christ, pray for us_, we should appear, unless we added something, to be referring this to christ's person, and thus we might seem to fall into the error of nestorius who regarded the person of the son of man as distinct in christ from the person of the son of god; or perhaps, too, into the error of arius who regarded the person of the son as less than the father. in order, then, to avoid these errors, the church does not say, _christ, pray for us_, but _christ, hear us_, or _christ, have mercy on us_. . once more, when one is asked to intercede for another, he presents the latter's prayers to him with whom he has to intercede. but it is superfluous to present anything to him to whom all things are present. hence it is superfluous to make the saints our intercessors with god. but the saints are not said to present our prayers to god as though they were manifesting to him something which he did not know, but in the sense that they ask that these prayers may be heard by god, or that they consult the divine truth concerning them, so as to know what, according to his providence, ought to be done. . lastly, that must be held superfluous which is done for the sake of something which, whether the former were done or not, would yet take place--or not take place--all the same. but similarly, the saints would pray for us or not pray for us whether we asked them to do so or not. for if we deserve that they should pray for us, they would pray for us, even though we did not ask them to do so; if, on the other hand, we are not deserving that they should pray for us, then they do not pray for us--even though we ask them to do so. hence to ask them to pray for us seems altogether superfluous. but a man becomes deserving that some saint should pray for him from the very fact that with pure-hearted devotion he has recourse to him in his needs. hence it is not superfluous to pray to the saints. iii are the saints' prayers to god for us always heard? in maccabees xv. it is said: _this is he that prayeth much for the people, and for all the holy city, jeremias the prophet of god_; and that his prayer was heard is evident from what follows, for _jeremias stretched forth his right hand and gave to judas a sword of gold, saying: take this holy sword, a gift from god_, etc. further, s. jerome says[ ]: "you say in your book that while we live we can pray for one another, but that after we are dead no one's prayer for others will be heard"; and s. jerome condemns this statement thus: "if the apostles and martyrs while still in the body could pray for others while as yet solicitous for themselves, how much more when they have won their crown, completed the victory, and gained their triumph?" moreover, the church's custom confirms this, for she frequently asks to be helped by the prayers of the saints. * * * * * the saints are said to pray for us in two ways: firstly, by express prayer, when they by their ardent desires appeal to the ears of the divine mercy for us; secondly, by interpretative prayer--namely, by their merits which, standing as the saints do in the sight of god, not only tend to their own glory but are, as it were, suffrages--and even prayers--for us; just as the blood of christ, shed for us, is said to ask pardon for us. and in both ways the prayers of the saints are, as far as in them lies, efficacious in obtaining what they ask for. but that we do not obtain the fruit of their prayers may be due to defects on our part, according, that is, as they are said to pray for us in the sense that their merits avail for us. but according as they actually do pray for us--that is, ask something for us by their desires--they are always heard. for the saints only wish what god wishes, and they only ask for what they wish should be done; what god, however, wishes is always done--unless, indeed, we are speaking of the _antecedent_ will of god, according to which _he wills all men to be saved_: this will is not always fulfilled. hence it is not to be wondered at if what the saints also will according to this kind of will is not always fulfilled. but some maintain that the saints' prayers for us are not always heard, thus: . if the saints' prayers were always heard, they would be especially heard when they pray for those things which affect themselves. yet they are not always heard as regards these things, for to the martyrs who prayed for vengeance upon the inhabitants of the earth it was said _that they should rest for a little time till_ the number of _their brethren should be filled up_.[ ] much less, then, are their prayers heard for things that do not concern them. but this prayer of the martyrs is nothing more than their desire to obtain the garment of the body and the society of the saints who are to be saved; it expresses their agreement with the divine justice which punishes the wicked. hence on those words of the apocalypse,[ ] _how long, o lord_, the ordinary gloss says: "they yearn for a greater joy, and for the companionship of the saints, and they agree with the justice of god." . it is said in jeremias[ ]: _if moses and samuel shall stand before me, my soul is not towards this people_. the saints, then, are not always heard when they pray for us to god. but god here speaks of moses and samuel according as they were in this life, for they are said to have prayed for the people and thus withstood the wrath of god. yet none the less, had they lived in jeremias' time they would not have been able to appease by their prayers god's wrath upon the people, so great was the latter's wickedness. this is the meaning of that passage. . the saints in our fatherland are said to be the equals of the angels.[ ] but the angels are not always heard in their prayers to god, as is evident from daniel[ ]: _i am come for thy words. but the prince of the kingdom of the persians resisted me one and twenty days._ but the angel who spoke had not come to daniel's assistance without asking his freedom from god; yet none the less the fulfilment of his prayer was hindered. in the same way, then, neither are the prayers of other saints to god for us always heard. but this contest of the good angels is not to be understood in the sense that they put forth contrary prayers before god, but that they set before the divine scrutiny conflicting merits on either hand, and awaited the divine decision. thus s. gregory, expounding the above words of daniel, says: "these sublime spirits who rule over the nations in no sense strive for those who do evil, but they scrutinize their deeds and judge justly; hence, when the faults or the merits of any nation are submitted to the council of the supreme court, he who is set over that particular nation is described as either losing or failing in the contest. but the sole victory for all of them is the supreme will of his creator above him; and since they ever look towards that will, they never desire what they cannot obtain,"[ ] and hence never ask for it. whence it is clear that their prayers are always heard. . whoever obtains something by prayer in a certain sense merits it. but the saints who are in our fatherland are no longer capable of meriting. therefore they cannot obtain anything for us from god by their prayers. but although the saints when once they are in our fatherland are not capable of meriting for themselves, they are still capable of meriting for others, or rather of helping others by reason of their own previous merits. for when alive they merited from god that their prayers should be heard after death. or we might say that in prayer merit and the power to obtain what we ask do not rest on the same basis. for merit consists in a certain correspondence between an act and the end towards which it is directed and which is given to it as its reward; but the impetratory power of prayer rests upon the generosity of him from whom we ask something. consequently prayer sometimes wins from the generosity of him to whom it is made what perhaps was not merited either by him who asked nor by him for whom he asked. and thus, though the saints are no longer capable of meriting, it does not follow that they are incapable of winning things from god. . again, the saints conform their will in all things to the divine will. therefore they can only will what they know god wills. but no one prays save for what he wishes. consequently they only pray for what they know god wills. but what god wills would take place whether they prayed or not. consequently their prayers have no power to obtain things. but, as is evident from the passage of s. gregory quoted above in reply to the third difficulty, neither the saints nor the angels will anything save what they see in the divine will. and consequently they ask for nothing else save this. but it does not follow that their prayers are without fruit, for, as s. augustine says in his treatise, _on the predestination of the saints_,[ ] and s. gregory in his _dialogues_,[ ] the prayers of the saints avail for the predestinate, because perhaps it was pre-ordained that they should be saved by the prayers of those who interceded for them. and so, too, god wills that by the prayers of the saints should be fulfilled what the saints see that he wills. . lastly, the prayers of the entire court of heaven should, if they can gain anything at all, be far more efficacious than all the suffrages of the church on earth. but if all the suffrages of the church on earth were to be accumulated upon one soul in purgatory, it would be entirely freed from punishment. since, then, the saints who are in our fatherland have the same reason for praying for the souls in purgatory as they have for praying for us, they would by their prayers, if they could obtain anything for us, wholly deliver from suffering those who are in purgatory. but this is false, for if it were true, then the suffrages of the church for the dead would be superfluous. but the suffrages of the church for the dead are, as it were, satisfactions offered by the living in place of the dead, and thus they free the dead from that debt of punishment which they have not paid. but the saints who are in our fatherland are not capable of making satisfaction. and thus there is no parity between their prayers and the church's suffrages. footnotes: [ ] xiv. . [ ] _moralia in job_, xii. . [ ] _dialogue_, li. . [ ] _contra vigilant._, vi. [ ] s. augustine: _of the trinity_, xiii. . [ ] _of the heavenly hierarchy_, iii. [ ] lxiii. . [ ] _de cura mortuorum_, , , . [ ] s. matt, xviii. . [ ] _of the heavenly hierarchy_, vii.; and _of the ecclesiastical hierarchy_, vi. [ ] v. . [ ] _moralia in job_, v. . [ ] rom. xv. . [ ] _of the ecclesiastical hierarchy_, v. [ ] dan. ix. . [ ] _ep. contra vigilantium_, vi. [ ] apoc. vi. . [ ] vi. . [ ] xv. . [ ] s. matt. xxii. . [ ] x. - . [ ] _moralia on job_, xvii. . [ ] _de dono perseverantiæ_, xxii. [ ] i. . question clxxix of the division of life into the active and the contemplative i. may life be fittingly divided into the active and the contemplative? s. augustine, _de consensu evangelistarum_, i., iv. " _tractatus, cxxiv. , in joannem_ ii. is this division of life into the active and the contemplative a sufficient one? s. augustine, _of the trinity_, i., viii. i may life be fittingly divided into the active and the contemplative? s. gregory the great says[ ]: "there are two kinds of lives in which almighty god instructs us by his sacred word--namely, the active and the contemplative." those things are properly said to live which move or work from within themselves. but what especially accords with the innermost nature of a thing is that which is proper to it and towards which it is especially inclined; consequently every living thing shows that it is living by those very acts which are especially befitting it and towards which it is especially inclined. thus the life of plants is said to consist in their growing and in their producing seed; the life of animals in their feeling and moving; while that of man consists in his understanding and in his acting according to reason. hence among men themselves each man's life appears to be that in which he takes special pleasure, that with which he is particularly occupied, that, in fine, in which each one wishes to live with a friend, as is said in the _ethics of aristotle_.[ ] since, then, some men are especially occupied with the contemplation of the truth while others are especially-occupied with external things, man's life may be conveniently divided into the active and the contemplative. * * * * * some, however, repudiate this division, thus: . the soul is by its essence the principle of life; thus the philosopher says[ ]: "for living things, to live is to be." but the same soul with its faculties is the principle both of action and of contemplation. hence it would seem that life cannot be suitably divided into the active and the contemplative. but the peculiar nature of every individual thing--that which makes it actually be--is the principle of its own proper action; consequently _to live_ is said to be the very _being_ of living things, and this because living things--by the very fact that they exist through such a nature--act in such a way. . again, when one thing precedes another it is unfitting to divide the former by differences which find place in the latter. but action and contemplation, like speculation and practice, are distinctions in the intellect, as is laid down by the philosopher.[ ] but we live before we understand; for life is primarily in living things by their vegetative soul, as also the philosopher says.[ ] therefore life is not fittingly divided according to contemplation and action. but we do not say that life universally considered is divided into the active and the contemplative, but that man's life is so divided. for man derives his species from his intellect, hence the same divisions hold good for human life as hold good for the intellect. . lastly, the word "life" implies motion, as is clear from denis the areopagite.[ ] but contemplation more especially consists in repose, according to the words: _when i go into my house i shall repose myself with her (wisdom)_.[ ] but while contemplation implies a certain repose from external occupations, it is still a certain motion of the intellect in the sense that every operation is a motion; in this sense the philosopher says that to feel and to understand are certain motions in the sense that motion is said to be the act of a perfect thing.[ ] it is in this sense, too, that denis[ ] assigns three movements to the soul in contemplation: the direct, the circular, and the oblique.[ ] * * * * * _s. augustine:_ two virtues are set before the human soul, the one active, the other contemplative; the former shows the path, the latter shows the goal; in the one we toil that so the heart may be purified for the vision of god, in the other we repose and we see god; the one is spent in the practice of the precepts of this temporal life, the other is occupied with the teachings of the life that is eternal. hence it is that the one is a life of toil and the other a life of rest; for the former is engaged in purging away its sins, the latter already stands in the light of the purified. hence, too, during this mortal life the former is occupied with the works of a good life, whereas the latter rather stands in faith, and, in the case of some few, sees _through a mirror in a dark manner_, and enjoys _in part_ a certain glimpse of the unchangeable truth (_de consensu evangelistarum_, i., iv. ). "the lord is the portion of my inheritance and of my cup; it is thou that wilt restore my inheritance to me. the lines are fallen unto me in goodly places; for my inheritance is goodly to me."[ ] _s. augustine:_ there is another life, the life of immortality, and in it there are no ills; there we shall see face to face what we now see _through a glass and in a dark manner_ even when we have made great advance in our study of the truth. the church, then, knows of two kinds of life divinely set before her and commended to her; in the one we walk by faith, in the other by sight; the one is the pilgrimage of time, the other is the mansion of eternity; the one is a life of toil, the other of repose; in the one we are on the way, in the other in our father's home; the one is spent in the toil of action, the other in the reward of contemplation; the one _turneth away from evil and doth good_, the other hath no evil from which to turn away, but rather a great good which it enjoys; the one is in conflict with the foe, the other reigns--conscious that there is no foe; the one is strong in adversity, the other knows of no adversity; the one bridles the lusts of the flesh, the other is given up to the joys of the spirit; the one is anxious to overcome, the other is tranquil in the peace of victory; the one is helped in temptations, the other, without temptation, rejoices in its helper; the one succours the needy, the other dwells where none are needy; the one condones the sins of others that thereby its own sins may be condoned, the other suffers naught that it can pardon nor does ought that calls for pardon; the one is afflicted in sufferings lest it should be uplifted in good things, the other is steeped in such fulness of grace as to be free from all evil that so, without temptation to pride, it may cling to the supreme good; the one distinguishes between good and evil, the other sees naught save what is good; the one therefore is good--yet still in miseries, the other is better--and in blessedness (_tractatus_, cxxiv. , _in joannem_). "jesu nostra redemptio amor et desiderium! deus creator omnium, homo in fine temporum!" ii is this division of life into the active and the contemplative a sufficient one? these two kinds of life are signified by the two wives of jacob--namely, the active life by lia, the contemplative by rachel. they are also signified by those two women who afforded hospitality to the lord: the contemplative, namely, by mary, the active by martha, as s. gregory says.[ ] but if there were more than two kinds of life, these significations would not be fitting. as we have said above, the division in question concerns human life regarded as intellectual. and the intellect itself is divided into the contemplative and the active, for the aim of intellectual knowledge is either the actual knowledge of the truth--and this belongs to the contemplative intellect, or it is some external action--and this concerns the practical or active intellect. hence life is quite sufficiently divided into the active and the contemplative. but some argue that this division is not a sufficient one, thus: . the philosopher[ ] says that there are three specially excellent kinds of life: the pleasurable, the civil--which seems to be identified with the active--and the contemplative. but the pleasurable life makes its end consist in the pleasures of that body which we have in common with the brute creation. hence, as the philosopher says in the same place, this is a bestial life. consequently it is not comprised in our division of life into the active and the contemplative. . again, s. augustine[ ] speaks of three different kinds of life: the life of leisure, which is referred to the contemplative; the busy life, which is referred to the active life; and he adds a third composed of these two. but things which hold a middle course are compounded of the extremes, and hence are virtually contained in them, as the tepid in the hot and the cold, the pallid in the white and the black. and similarly, under the active and the contemplative lives is comprised that kind of life which is compounded of them both. but just as in every mixture one of the simple elements predominates, so in this mixed kind of life now the contemplative, now the active predominates. . lastly, men's lives are diversified according to their various occupations. but there are more than two classes of human occupations. but all classes of human occupations are, if they are concerned with the necessities of this present life, and in accordance with right reason, comprised under the active life which, by properly regulated acts, takes heed for the needs of the present life. but if these actions minister to our concupiscences, then they fall under the voluptuous life which is not comprised in the active life. but human occupations which are directed to the consideration of the truth are comprised under the contemplative life. * * * * * _s. augustine: your life is hid with christ in god. when christ shall appear, who is your life, then you also shall appear with him in glory_;[ ] but until that shall come to pass _we see now through a glass in a dark manner_--that is, in images as it were--_but then face to face_.[ ] this, indeed, is the contemplation that is promised to us, the goal of all our actions, the eternal perfection of all our joys. for _we are the sons of god, and it hath not yet appeared what we shall be; we know that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is_.[ ] and as he said to his servant moses: _i am who am ... thus shalt thou say to the children of israel: he who is hath sent me to you_,[ ] even that shall we contemplate when we live in eternity. thus, too, he says: _this is eternal life, that they may know thee, the only true god, and jesus christ whom thou hast sent_.[ ] and this shall be when the lord shall come and _bring to light the hidden things of darkness_,[ ] when the gloom of our mortal corruption shall have passed away. then will be our "morning," that "morning" of which the psalmist says: _in the morning i will stand before thee and i will see_.[ ] ... then, too, will come to pass that which is written: _thou shall fill me with joy with thy countenance_.[ ] beyond that joy we shall seek for nothing, for there is naught further to be sought. the father will be shown to us, and that will suffice for us. well did philip understand this when he said to the lord: _show us the father, and it is enough for us!_[ ] ... such contemplation, indeed, is the reward of faith, and for this reward's sake are our hearts purified by faith, as it is written: _purifying their hearts by faith_[ ] (_de trinitate_, i., viii. ). "remember, o lord, thy bowels of compassion; and thy mercies that are from the beginning of the world. the sins of my youth and my ignorances do not remember. according to thy mercy remember thou me; for thy goodness' sake, o lord. the lord is sweet and righteous; therefore he will give a law to sinners in the way. he will guide the mild in judgment; he will teach the meek his ways. all the ways of the lord are mercy and truth to them that seek after his covenant and his testimonies. for thy name's sake, o lord, thou wilt pardon my sin; for it is great."[ ] footnotes: [ ] hom. xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] ix., xii. . [ ] _de anima_, ii., iv. . [ ] _de anima_, iii., x. . [ ] _ibid._, ii., iv. . [ ] _of the divine names_, vi. [ ] wisd. viii. . [ ] _de anima_, iii., vii. . [ ] _of the divine names_, iv., i. . [ ] for a commentary on this passage of s. denis, see qu. clxxx., art. , pp. - . [ ] ps. xv. - . [ ] _moralia in job_, vi. ; and _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _ethics_, i., v. . [ ] _of the city of god_, xix. and . [ ] col. iii. - . [ ] cor. xiii. . [ ] john iii. . [ ] exod. iii. . [ ] s. john xvii. . [ ] cor. iv. . [ ] ps. v. . [ ] ps. xv. . [ ] s. john xiv. . [ ] acts xv. . [ ] ps. xxiv. - . question clxxx of the contemplative life i. is the contemplative life wholly confined to the intellect, or does the will enter into it? s. thomas, _on the beatific vision_, i., xii. _ad m_ ii. do the moral virtues pertain to the contemplative life? s. augustine, _of the city of god_, xix. iii. does the contemplative life comprise many acts? s. augustine, _of the perfection of human righteousness_, viii. " _ep._, cxxx. _ad probam_ iv. does the contemplative life consist solely in the contemplation of god, or in the consideration of other truths as well? s. augustine, _sermon_, clxix., xiv. " _ep._, cxxx. _ad probam_ v. can the contemplative life attain, according to the state of this present life, to the contemplation of the divine essence? s. augustine, _of the sermon on the mount_, ii., ix. vi. is the act of contemplation rightly distinguished according to the three kinds of motion--circular, direct, and oblique? vii. has contemplation its joys? viii. is the contemplative life lasting? s. augustine, _sermon_, cclix., _on low sunday_ i is the contemplative life wholly confined to the intellect, or does the will enter into it? s. gregory the great says[ ]: "the contemplative life means keeping of charity towards god and our neighbour, and fixing all our desires on our creator." but desire and love belong to the affective or appetitive powers; consequently the contemplative life is not confined to the intellect. * * * * * when men's thoughts are principally directed towards the contemplation of the truth, their life is said to be "contemplative." but to "intend" or direct is an act of the will, since "intention" or direction is concerned with the end in view, and the end is the proper object of the will. hence contemplation, having regard to the actual essence of it, is an act of the intellect; but if we consider that which moves us to the exercise of such an act, then contemplation is an act of the will; for it is the will which moves all the other faculties, including the intellect, to the exercise of their appropriate acts. but the appetitive faculty--the will, that is--moves us to consider some point either sensibly or intellectually, that is, sometimes out of love for the thing itself--for _where thy treasure is there is thy heart also_,--and sometimes out of love of that very knowledge which follows from its consideration. for this reason s. gregory[ ] makes the contemplative life consist in the love of god, since from love of god a man yearns to look upon his beauty. and since we are delighted when we obtain what we love, the contemplative life consequently results in delight, and this resides in the affective powers, from which, too, love took its rise. * * * * * some, however, urge that the contemplative life lies wholly in the intellect, thus: . the philosopher says[ ]: "the end of contemplation is truth." but truth belongs wholly to the intellect. but from the very fact that truth is the goal of contemplation it derives its character of a desirable and lovable and pleasing good, and in this sense it comes under the appetitive powers. . again, s. gregory says[ ]: "rachel, whose name is interpreted 'the beginning seen,' signifies the contemplative life." but the vision of a principle, or beginning, belongs to the intellect. but it is love of god which excites in us desire of the vision of the first principle of all--viz., god himself--and hence s. gregory says[ ]: "the contemplative life, trampling underfoot all cares, ardently yearns to look upon the face of the creator." . s. gregory says[ ]: "it belongs to the contemplative life to rest from all exterior action." but the affective or appetitive powers tend towards external action. hence it would seem that the contemplative life does not come under them. but the appetitive powers not only move the bodily members to the performance of external acts, but the intellect, too, is moved by them to the exercise of contemplation. "hear, you that are far off, what i have done, and you that are near, know my strength. the sinners in sion are afraid, trembling hath seized upon the hypocrites. which of you can dwell with devouring fire? which of you shall dwell with everlasting burnings? he that walketh in justices, and speaketh truth, that casteth away avarice by oppression, and shaketh his hands from all bribes, that stoppeth his ears lest he hear blood, and shutteth his eyes that he may see no evil. he shall dwell on high, the fortifications of rocks shall be his highness: bread is given him, his waters are sure. his eyes shall see the king in his beauty, they shall see the land far off."[ ] * * * * * _s. thomas:_ we do not enjoy all the things that we have; and this is either because they do not afford us delight, or because they are not the ultimate goal of our desires, and so are incapable of satisfying our yearnings or affording us repose. but these three things the blessed have in god: for they see him, and seeing him they hold him ever present to them, for they have it in their power always to see him; and holding him, they enjoy him, satisfying their yearnings with that which is the ultimate end (_summa theologica_, i., xii. , _ad m_). "as the hart panteth after the fountains of water: so my soul panteth after thee, o god. my soul hath thirsted after the strong living god; when shall i come and appear before the face of god? my tears have been my bread day and night, whilst it is said to me daily: where is thy god? these things i remembered, and poured out my soul in me; for i shall go over into the place of the wonderful tabernacle, even to the house of god. with the voice of joy and praise; the noise of one feasting. why art thou sad, o my soul? and why dost thou trouble me? hope in god, for i will still give praise to him: the salvation of my countenance, and my god."[ ] ii do the moral virtues pertain to the contemplative life? the moral virtues are directed towards external actions, and s. gregory says[ ]: "it belongs to the contemplative life to abstain from all external action." hence the moral virtues do not pertain to the contemplative life. a thing may pertain to the contemplative life either essentially or by way of disposition towards it. essentially, then, the moral virtues do not pertain to the contemplative life; for the goal of the contemplative life is the consideration of truth. "knowledge," says the philosopher, "which pertains to the consideration of truth, has little to do with the moral virtues."[ ] hence he also says[ ] that moral virtues pertain to active, not to contemplative happiness. but dispositively the moral virtues do belong to the contemplative life. for actual contemplation, in which the contemplative life essentially consists, is impeded both by the vehemence of the passions which distract the soul from occupation with the things of the intellect, and divert it to the things of sense, and also by external disturbances. the moral virtues, however, keep down the vehemence of the passions, and check the disturbance that might arise from external occupations. consequently the moral virtues do pertain to the contemplative life, but by way of disposition thereto. * * * * * but some maintain that the moral virtues do pertain to the contemplative life, thus: . s. gregory says[ ]: "the contemplative life means keeping charity towards god and our neighbour with our whole soul." but all the moral virtues--acts of which fall under precept--are reduced to love of god and of our neighbour; for _love is the fulfilling of the law_.[ ] consequently it would seem that the moral virtues do pertain to the contemplative life. but, as we have already said, the contemplative life is motived by the affective faculties, and consequently love of god and of our neighbour are required for the contemplative life. impelling causes, however, do not enter into the essence of a thing, but prepare for it and perfect it. hence it does not follow that the moral virtues essentially pertain to the contemplative life. . again; the contemplative life is especially directed towards the contemplation of god, as s. gregory says: "the soul, trampling all cares underfoot, ardently yearns to see its creator's face." but no one can attain to this without that cleanness of heart which the moral virtues procure: _blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see god_,[ ] and again: _follow peace with all men with holiness, without which no man shall see god_.[ ] but holiness--that is, cleanness of heart--is produced by those virtues which have to do with those passions which hinder the purity of the reason. and peace is produced by justice--the moral virtue which is concerned with our works: _the work of justice shall be peace_[ ] inasmuch, that is, as a man, by refraining from injuring others, removes occasions of strife and disturbance. . lastly, s. gregory says[ ]: "the contemplative life is something beautiful in the soul," and it is for this reason that it is said to be typified by rachel, for _she was well-favoured and of a beautiful countenance_.[ ] but the beauty of the soul, as s. ambrose remarks, depends upon the moral virtues and especially on that of temperance.[ ] but beauty consists in a certain splendour combined with a becoming harmony. both of these points are radically to be referred to the reason, for to it belongs both the light which manifests beauty, and the establishment of due proportion in others. consequently in the contemplative life--which consists in the act of the reason--beauty is necessarily and essentially to be found; thus of the contemplation of wisdom it is said: _and i became a lover of her beauty_.[ ] but in the moral virtues beauty is only found by a certain participation--in proportion, namely, as they share in the harmony of reason; and this is especially the case with the virtue of temperance whose function it is to repress those desires which particularly obscure the light of reason. hence it is, too, that the virtue of chastity especially renders a man fit for contemplation, for venereal pleasures are precisely those which, as s. augustine points out, most drag down the mind to the things of sense.[ ] * * * * * _s. augustine:_ while it is true that any one of these three kinds of life--the leisurely, the busy, and the life commingled of them both--may be embraced by anybody without prejudice to his faith, and may be the means of leading him to his eternal reward, it is yet important that a man should take note of what it is that he holds to through love of the truth, and should reflect on the nature of the work to which he devotes himself at the demand of charity. for no man should be so addicted to leisure as for its sake to neglect his neighbour's profit; neither should any man be so devoted to the active life as to forget the thought of god. for in our leisured life we are not to find delight in mere idle repose, but the seeking and finding of the truth must be our aim; each must strive to advance in that, to hold fast what he finds, and yet not to grudge it to his neighbour. similarly, in the life of action: we must not love honour in this life, nor power; for _all things are vain under the sun_. but we must love the toil itself which comes to us together with such honour or power if it be rightly and profitably used--as tending, that is, to the salvation under god of those under us.... love of truth, then, seeks for a holy leisure; the calls of charity compel us to undertake the labours of justice. if no one lays on us this burden, then must we devote our leisure to the search after and the study of the truth; but if such burden be imposed upon us, we must shoulder it at the call of charity; yet withal we must not wholly abandon the delights of the truth, lest while the latter's sweetness is withdrawn from us, the burden we have taken up overwhelm us (_of the city of god_, xix. ). "o expectation of israel, the saviour thereof in time of trouble: why wilt thou be as a stranger in the land, and as a wayfaring man turning in to lodge? why wilt thou be as a wandering man, as a mighty man that cannot save? but thou, o lord, art among us, and thy name is called upon us, forsake us not."[ ] iii does the contemplative life comprise many acts? by "life" is here meant any work to which a man principally devotes himself. hence if there were many acts or works in the contemplative life, it would not be one life, but several. it must be understood that we are speaking of the contemplative life as it concerns man. and between men and angels there is, as s. denis says,[ ] this difference--that whereas an angel knows the truth by one simple act of intelligence, man, on the contrary, only arrives at a knowledge of the simple truth by arguing from many premises. hence the contemplative life has only a single act in which it finds its final perfection--namely, the contemplation of the truth--and from this one act it derives its oneness. but at the same time it has many acts by means of which it arrives at this final act. of these various acts, some are concerned with the establishment of principles from which the mind proceeds to the contemplation of truth; others, again, are concerned with deducing from these principles that truth the knowledge of which is sought. but the ultimate act, the complement of the foregoing, is the contemplation of truth. some, however, maintain that many acts pertain to the contemplative life, thus: . richard of s. victor[ ] distinguishes between contemplation, meditation, and thought. but these all seem to belong to the contemplative life. but _thought_, according to richard of s. victor, seems to signify the consideration of many things from which a man intends to gather some single truth. consequently, under the term _thought_ may be comprised perceptions by the senses, whereby we know certain effects--imaginations, too, as well as investigation of different phenomena by the reason; in a word, all those things which conduce to a knowledge of the truth we are in search of. at the same time, according to s. augustine,[ ] every operation of the intellect may be termed _thought_. _meditation_, again, seems to refer to the process of reasoning from principles which have to do with the truth we desire to contemplate. and _contemplation_, according to s. bernard,[ ] means the same thing, although, according to the philosopher,[ ] every operation of the intellect may be termed "consideration." but _contemplation_ is concerned with the simple dwelling upon the truth itself. hence richard of s. victor says[ ]: "_contemplation_ is the soul's clear, free, and attentive dwelling upon the truth to be perceived; _meditation_ is the outlook of the soul occupied in searching for the truth; _thought _ is the soul's glance, ever prone to distraction." . further, the apostle says: _but we all, beholding the glory of the lord with open face, are transformed into the same image from glory to glory._[ ] but this refers to the contemplative life; therefore, besides the three things already mentioned--namely, contemplation, meditation and thought,--_speculation_, too, enters into the contemplative life. but _speculation_, as s. augustine's gloss has it,[ ] "is derived from _speculum_, a 'mirror,' not from _specula_, a 'watch-tower.'" to see a thing in a mirror, however, is to see a cause by an effect in which its likeness is shown; thus _speculation_ seems reducible to _meditation_. . again, s. bernard says[ ]: "the first and chiefest contemplation is the marvelling at god's majesty." but to "marvel" is, according to s. john damascene,[ ] a species of fear. consequently it seems that many acts belong to contemplation. but wonderment is a species of fear arising from our learning something which it is beyond our powers to understand. hence wonderment is an act subsequent to the contemplation of sublime truth, whereas contemplation reaches its goal in the affective powers. . lastly, prayer, reading, and meditation seem to belong to the contemplative life. devout hearing, too, belongs to it, for it is said of mary, who is the type of the contemplative life, that _sitting at the lord's feet, she heard his word_.[ ] man, however, arrives at the knowledge of truth in two ways: first of all, by receiving things from others; as regards, then, the things a man receives from god: prayer is necessary, according to the words: _i called upon god, and the spirit of wisdom came upon me_.[ ] and as for the things he receives from men: hearing is necessary if he receive them from one who speaks, reading is necessary if it be question of what is handed down in holy scripture. and secondly, a man arrives at the knowledge of truth by his own personal study, and for this is required meditation. "uni trinoque domino sit sempiterna gloria! qui vitam sine termino nobis donet in patria!" * * * * * _s. augustine:_ as long, then, as _we are absent from the lord, we walk by faith and not by sight_,[ ] whence it is said: _the just man shall live in his faith._[ ] and this is our justice as long as we are on our pilgrimage--namely, that here now by the uprightness and perfection with which we walk we strive after that perfection and fulness of justice where, in all the glory of its beauty, will be full and perfect charity. here we chastise our body and bring it into subjection; here we give alms by conferring benefits and forgiving offences against ourselves; and we do this with joy and from the heart, and are ever instant in prayer; and all this we do in the light of that sound doctrine by which is built up right faith, solid hope, and pure charity. this, then, is our present justice whereby we run hungering and thirsting after the perfection and fulness of justice, so that hereafter we may be filled therewith (_de perfectione justitiæ hominis_, viii. ). * * * * * _s. augustine:_ you know, then, i think, not only how you ought to pray, but what you ought to pray for; and this not because i teach you, but because he teaches you who has deigned to teach us all. the life of beatitude is what we have to seek; this we have to ask for from the lord god. and what beatitude means is, with many, a source of much dispute. but why should we appeal to the many and their many opinions? for pithily and truly it is said in god's scripture: _happy is that people whose god is the lord!_[ ] oh, that we may be counted amongst _that people_! oh, that we may be enabled to contemplate him, and may come one day to live with him unendingly! _the end of the commandment is charity from a pure heart and a good conscience, and an unfeigned faith._[ ] and among these three, hope stands for _a good conscience_. faith, therefore, with hope and charity, leads to god the man who prays--that is, the man who believes, who hopes, and who desires, and who in the _lord's prayer_ meditates what he should ask from the lord (_ep._ cxxx. _ad probam_). "for my heart hath been inflamed, and my reins have been changed: and i am brought to nothing, and i knew not. i am become as a beast before thee; and i am always with thee. thou hast held me by my right hand; and by thy will thou hast conducted me; and with glory thou hast received me. for what have i in heaven? and besides thee what do i desire upon earth? for thee my flesh and my heart hath fainted away; thou art the god of my heart; and the god that is my portion for ever. for behold they that go far from thee shall perish; thou hast destroyed all them that are disloyal to thee. but it is good for me to adhere to my god, to put my hope in the lord god: that i may declare all thy praises, in the gates of the daughter of sion."[ ] iv does the contemplative life consist solely in the contemplation of god, or in the consideration of other truths as well? s. gregory says[ ]: "in contemplation it is the principle--namely, god--which is sought." a thing may come under the contemplative life in two ways: either primarily, or secondarily--that is, dispositively. now primarily the contemplation of divine truth belongs to the contemplative life, since such contemplation is the goal of all human life. hence s. augustine says[ ]: "the contemplation of god is promised to us as the goal of all our acts and the eternal consummation of all our joys." and this will be perfect in the future life when we shall see god face to face--when, consequently, it will render us perfectly blessed. but in our present state the contemplation of divine truth belongs to us only imperfectly--namely, _through a glass and in a dark manner_; it causes in us now a certain commencement of beatitude, which begins here, to be continued in the future. hence even the philosopher[ ] makes the ultimate happiness of man consist in the contemplation of the highest intelligible truths. but since we are led to a contemplation of god by the consideration of his divine works--_the invisible things of god ... are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made_[ ]--it follows also that the contemplation of the divine works belongs in a secondary sense to the contemplative life--according, namely, as by it we are led to the knowledge of god. for this reason s. augustine says[ ]: "in the study of created things we must not exercise a mere idle and passing curiosity, but must make them a stepping-stone to things that are immortal and that abide for ever." thus from what we have said it is clear that four things belong, and that in a certain sequence, to the contemplative life: firstly, the moral virtues; secondly, other acts apart from that of contemplation; thirdly, the contemplation of the divine works; and fourthly--and this is the crown of them all--the actual contemplation of the divine truth. some, however, say that the contemplative life is not merely confined to the contemplation of god but is extended to the consideration of any truth whatsoever, thus: . in ps. cxxxviii. we read: _wonderful are thy works! my soul knoweth right well!_ but the knowledge of the works of god is derived from a certain contemplation of the truth. whence it would seem that it belongs to the contemplative life to contemplate not only the divine truth, but also any other truth we please. but david sought the knowledge of god's works that he might thereby be led to god himself, as he says elsewhere: _i meditated on all thy works, i mused upon the works of thy hands; i stretched forth my hands to thee._[ ] . again, s. bernard says[ ]: "the first point in contemplation is to marvel at god's majesty; the second, at his judgments; the third, at his benefits; the fourth, at his promises." but of these only the first comes under the divine truth--the rest are effects of it. but from the consideration of the divine judgments a man is led to the contemplation of the divine justice; and from a consideration of the divine benefits and promises a man is led to a knowledge of the divine mercy and goodness, as it were by effects either already shown or to be shown. . once more, richard of s. victor[ ] distinguishes six kinds of contemplation; the first is according to the imagination simply, when, namely, we consider corporeal things; the second is in the imagination directed by the reason, as when we consider the harmony and arrangement of the things of the senses; the third is in the reason, but based on the imagination, as when by the consideration of visible things we are uplifted to the invisible; the fourth is in the reason working on the things of the reason, as when the soul occupies itself with invisible things unknown to the imagination; the fifth is above the reason, but not beyond its grasp, when, for instance, we know by divine revelation things which cannot be comprehended by the human reason; and the sixth is above the reason and beyond its grasp, as when by divine illumination we know things which are apparently repugnant to human reason--for example, the things we are told concerning the mystery of the holy trinity. and only the last named of these seems to come under divine truth; consequently contemplation of the truth is not limited to divine truth, but extends also to those truths which we consider in created things. but by these six are signified the steps by which we ascend through created things to the contemplation of god. for in the first we have the perception of the things of sense; in the second, the progress from the things of sense to the things of the intellect; in the third judgment upon the things of sense according to intellectual principles; in the fourth, the simple consideration of intellectual truths at which we have arrived by means of the things of sense; in the fifth, the contemplation of intellectual truths to which we could not attain by the things of sense, but which can be grasped by reason; in the sixth, the contemplation of intellectual truths such as the reason can neither find nor grasp--truths, namely, which belong to the sublime contemplation of the divine truth, in which contemplation is finally perfected. . lastly, in the contemplative life the contemplation of truth is sought as being man's perfection. but any truth whatsoever is a perfection of the human intellect. consequently the contemplative life consists in the contemplation of any kind of truth whatsoever. but the ultimate perfection of the human intellect is the divine truth; other truths perfect the intellect by way of preparation for the divine truth. * * * * * _s. augustine:_ martha, martha, thou hast chosen a good part, but mary hath chosen the better. yours is good--for it is good to busy oneself with waiting on the saints--but hers is better. what you have chosen will pass away at length. you minister to the hungry, you minister to the thirsty, you make the beds for them that would sleep, you find house-room for them that need it--but all these things will pass away! for there will come a time when none will hunger, when none will thirst, when none will sleep. and then thy care will be taken from thee. but mary hath chosen the better part, which shall never be taken from her! it shall not be taken away, for she chose to live the life of contemplation, she chose to live by the word. what kind of life will that be that flows from the word without spoken word? here on earth she drew life from the word, but through the medium of the spoken word. then will be life, from the word indeed, but with no spoken word. for the word himself is life. _we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is_[ ] (_sermon_, clxix., xiv. ). * * * * * _s. augustine: one thing i have asked of the lord, this will i seek after: that i may dwell in the house of the lord all the days of my life!_[ ] whosoever asks for this one thing and seeks after it prays with sure and certain confidence; nor need he fear lest, when he shall have obtained it, he shall find it disagreeable to him, for without it naught that he prays for as he ought, and obtains, is of any avail. for this is the one, true, and only blessed life--to contemplate the delights of the lord for eternity, in immortality and incorruptibility of body as well as soul. for the sake of this one thing are all other things to be sought after, and only thus our petitions for them are rendered not unbecoming. whosoever hath this one thing will have all that he wishes for, nor indeed will he be able to wish there for anything which is unfitting. for there is the fountain of life, for which we must now thirst in prayer as long as we live by hope--as long, too, as we see not what we hope for. for we dwell 'neath the shadow of his wings before whom is all our desire, that so we _may be inebriated with the plenty of_ his _house, and may drink of the torrent of_ his _pleasure: for with_ him _is the fountain of life, and in_ his _light we shall see light._[ ] then shall our desire be sated with all good things, then will there be naught for us to seek for with groanings, but only what we shall cling to with joy. yet none the less, since this is _the peace that surpasseth all understanding_, even when praying for it _we know not what we should pray for as we ought_[ ] (_ep._ cxxx. _ad probam_). "he shall cast death down headlong for ever: and the lord god shall wipe away tears from every face, and the reproach of his people he shall take away from off the whole earth: for the lord hath spoken it. and they shall say in that day: lo, this is our god, we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the lord, we have patiently waited for him, we shall rejoice and be joyful in his salvation."[ ] v can the contemplative life attain, according to the state of this present life, to the contemplation of the divine essence? s. gregory says[ ]: "as long as we live in this mortal flesh none of us can make such progress in the virtue of contemplation as to fix his mind's gaze on that infinite light." s. augustine also says[ ]: "no one who looks on god lives with that life with which we mortals live in the bodily senses; but unless he be in some sort dead to this life, whether as having wholly departed from the body, or as rapt away from the bodily senses, he is not uplifted to that vision." a man, then, can be "in this life" in two ways: he can be in it actually--that is, as actually using his bodily senses--and when he is thus "in the body" no contemplation such as belongs to this present life can attain to the vision of the essence of god; or a man may be "in this life" potentially, and not actually; that is, his soul may be joined to his body as its informing principle, but in such fashion that it neither makes use of the bodily senses nor even of the imagination, and this is what takes place when a man is rapt in ecstasy: in this sense contemplation such as belongs to this life can attain to the vision of the divine essence. consequently the highest degree of contemplation which is compatible with the present life is that which s. paul had when he was rapt in ecstasy and stood midway between the state of this present life and the next. some, however, say that the contemplative life can, even according to our present state of life, attain to the vision of the divine essence, thus: . jacob said: _i have seen god face to face, and my soul hath been saved._[ ] but the vision of the face of god is the vision of the divine essence. whence it would seem that a man may by contemplation actually reach, even during this present life, to the vision of the essence of god. but s. denis says[ ]: "if anyone saw god and understood what he saw, then it was not god he saw, but something belonging to him." and similarly s. gregory says[ ]: "almighty god is never seen in his glory, but the soul gazes at something derived from it, and thus refreshed, makes advance, and so ultimately arrives at the glory of vision." hence when jacob said, _i saw god face to face_, we are not to understand that he saw the essence of god, but that he saw some appearance--that is, some imaginary appearance--in which god spoke to him; or, as the gloss of s. gregory[ ] has it, "since we know people by the face, jacob called knowledge of god his face." . further, s. gregory says[ ]: "contemplative men turn back within upon themselves in that they search into spiritual things, and do not carry with them the shadows of things corporeal; or if perchance they touch them, they drive them away with discreet hands. but when they would look upon the infinite light, they put aside all images which limit it, and in striving to arrive at a height superior to themselves, they become conquerors of their nature." but a man is only withheld from the vision of the divine essence, which is infinite light, by the necessity he is under of turning to corporeal images. from this it would seem that contemplation can, even in this present life, arrive at the sight of the infinite essential light. but human contemplation according to this present state cannot exist without recourse to the imagination, for it is in accordance with man's nature that he should see intelligible forms through the medium of pictures in the imagination, as also the philosopher teaches.[ ] yet intellectual knowledge does not consist in such images, rather does the intellect contemplate in them the purity of intelligible truth; and this is not merely the case in natural knowledge, but also in those things which we know by revelation. for s. denis says: "the divine light manifests to us the angelic hierarchies by means of symbolical figures by force of which we are restored to the simple ray," that is, to the simple knowledge of intelligible truth. it is thus that we ought to understand s. gregory's words when he says: "in contemplation men do not carry with them the shadows of things corporeal," for their contemplation does not abide in these things but rather in the consideration of intelligible truth. . lastly, s. gregory says[ ]: "to the soul that looks upon its creator all created things are but narrow. consequently the man of god--namely, the blessed benedict--who saw in a tower a fiery globe and the angels mounting up to heaven, was doubtless only able to see these things by the light of god." but the blessed benedict was then still in this life. consequently contemplation, even in this present life, can attain to the vision of the essence of god. but we are not to understand from s. gregory's words that the blessed benedict saw the essence of god in that vision; s. gregory wishes to show that since "to him who looks upon his creator all created things are but as nothing," it follows that certain things can easily be seen by the illumination afforded by the divine light. hence he adds: "for, however little of the creator's light he sees, all created things become of small account." veni sancte spiritus et emitte coelitus lucis tuæ radium! o lux beatissima reple cordis intima tuorum fidelium! _s. augustine:_ and thus, the remaining burden of this mortal life being laid aside at death, man's happiness will, in god's own time, be perfected from every point of view--that happiness which is begun in this life, and to the attainment and securing of which at some future time our every effort must now tend (_of the sermon on the mount_, ii., ix. ). "the old error is passed away; thou wilt keep peace: peace, because we have hoped in thee. you have hoped in the lord for evermore, in the lord god mighty for ever. and in the way of thy judgments, o lord, we have patiently waited for thee: thy name, and thy remembrance are the desire of the soul. my soul hath desired thee in the night: yea, and with my spirit within me in the morning early i will watch to thee."[ ] vi is the act of contemplation rightly distinguished according to the three kinds of motion--circular, direct, and oblique? s. denis the areopagite[ ] does so distinguish the acts of contemplation. the operation of the intellect in which contemplation essentially consists is termed "motion" in the sense that motion is the act of a perfect thing, according to the philosopher.[ ] and since we arrive at a knowledge of intelligible things through the medium of the things of sense, and the operations of the senses do not take place without motion, it follows that the operations also of the intellect are correctly described as a species of motion, and are differentiated according to the analogy of divers motions. but the more perfect and the chiefest of bodily motions are local motions, as is proved by the philosopher.[ ] consequently the chief intellectual motions are described according to the analogy of these latter. now, there are three species of local motion: one is circular, according as a thing is moved uniformly about the same centre; another is direct, according as a thing proceeds from one point to another; and a third is oblique, compounded as it were from the two foregoing. hence in intelligible operations, that which simply has uniformity is attributed to circular motion; that intellectual motion by which a man proceeds from one thing to another is attributed to direct motion; while that intellectual operation which has a certain uniformity combined with progress towards different points, is attributed to oblique motion. all, however, do not agree with this division, thus: . contemplation means a state of repose, as is said in _wisdom_[ ]: _when i go into my house i shall repose myself with her._ and motion is opposed to repose. consequently the operations of the contemplative life cannot be designated according to these different species of motion. but whereas external bodily movements are opposed to that repose of contemplation which is understood to be rest from external occupations, the motion of intellectual operations belongs precisely to the repose of contemplation. . again, the action of the contemplative life pertains to the intellect wherein man is at one with the angels. but s. denis does not apply these motions to the angels in the same way as he does to the soul; for he says that the _circular_ motion of the angels "corresponds to the illumination of the beautiful and the good." but of the _circular_ motion of the soul he gives several definitions, of which the first is "the return of the soul upon itself as opposed to external things"; the second is "a certain wrapping together of the powers of the soul whereby it is freed from error and from external occupation"; and the third is "the union of the soul with things superior to it." similarly, he speaks in different terms of the _direct_ motion of the soul as compared with that of the angels. for he says that the _direct_ motion of an angel is "according as he proceeds to the care of the things subject to him"; while the _direct_ motion of the soul is made to consist in two things: first of all "that it proceeds to those things which are around it"; secondly, that "from external things it is uplifted to simple contemplation." and lastly, he explains the _oblique_ motion differently in each case. for he makes the _oblique_ motion of the angels consist in this that, "while providing for those that have less than themselves, they remain in the same attitude towards god"; but the _oblique_ motion of the soul he explains as meaning that "the soul is illumined by divine knowledge rationally and diffusely." consequently it does not appear that the operations of contemplation are fittingly distinguished according to the aforesaid species of motion. but while man's intellect is generally the same with that of the angels, the intellectual powers of the latter are far higher than in man. it was therefore necessary to assign the aforesaid motions to human souls and to the angels in different fashion in proportion as their intellectual powers are not uniform. for the angelic intellect has uniform knowledge in two respects: firstly, because the angels do not acquire intelligible truth from the variety of compound things; and secondly, because they do not understand intelligible truth discursively, but by simple intuition. whereas the intellect of the human soul, on the contrary, acquires intelligible truth from the things of sense, and understands it by the discursive action of the reason. hence s. denis assigns to the angels circular motion in that they uniformly and unceasingly, without beginning or end, gaze upon god; just as circular motion, which has neither beginning nor end, is uniformly maintained round the same central point. but in the case of the human soul, its twofold lack of uniformity must be removed before it can attain to the above-mentioned uniformity. for there must first be removed that lack of uniformity which arises from the diversity of external things: that is, the soul must quit external things. and this s. denis expresses first of all in his definition of the circular motion of the soul when he speaks of "the return of the soul upon itself as opposed to external things." and there must be removed in the second place that second lack of uniformity which arises from the discursive action of the reason. and this takes place when all the operations of the soul are reduced to the simple contemplation of intelligible truth. this forms the second part of s. denis's definition of this circular motion--namely, when he speaks of the necessity of "a certain wrapping together of the powers of the soul," with the result that, when discursive action thus ceases, the soul's gaze is fixed on the contemplation of the one simple truth. and in this operation of the soul there is no room for error, just as there is no room for error in our understanding of first principles which we know by simple intuition. then, when these first two steps have been taken, s. denis puts in the third place that uniformity, like to that of the angels, by which the soul, laying aside all else, persists in the simple contemplation of god. and this he expresses when he says: "then, as now made uniform, it, as a whole"--that is, as conformed (to god)--"is, with all its powers unified, led by the hand to the beautiful and the good." but the _direct_ motion in the angels cannot be understood in the sense that, by considering, they proceed from one point to another; but solely according to the order of their providential care for others--according, namely, as the superior angels illumine the inferior through those who stand between. and this is what s. denis means when he says that the _direct_ motion of an angel is "according as he proceeds to the care of the things subject to him, taking in his course all things that are direct" following--that is, those things which are disposed in direct order. but to the human soul s. denis assigns _direct_ motion in the sense that it proceeds from the exterior things of sense to the knowledge of intelligible things. and he assigns _oblique_ motion to the angels--a motion, that is, compounded of the _direct_ and the _circular_--inasmuch as an angel, according to his contemplation of god, provides for those inferior to him. to the human soul, on the contrary, he assigns this same _oblique_ motion, similarly compounded of the _direct_ and the _circular_ motions, inasmuch as in its reasonings it makes use of the divine illuminations. . lastly, richard of s. victor[ ] gives many other and different kinds of motion. for, following the analogy of the birds of the air, he says of these latter that "some at one time ascend on high, at another swoop down to earth, and they do this again and again; others turn now to the right, now to the left, and this repeatedly; others go in advance, others fall behind; some sail round and round in circles, now narrower and now wider; while others again remain almost immovably suspended in one place." from all which it would seem that there are not merely three movements in contemplation. but all these diversities of motion which are expressed by, up and down, to right and left, backwards and forwards, and in varying circles, are reducible either to _direct_ or to _oblique_ motion, for they all signify the discursive action of the reason. for if this discursive action be from the genus to the species or from the whole to the part, it will be, as richard of s. victor himself explains, motion upwards and downwards. if, again, it means argumentation from one thing to its opposite, it will come under motion to right and left. or if it be deduction from cause to effect, then it will be motion backwards and forwards. and finally, if it mean arguing from the accidents which surround a thing, whether nearly or remotely, it will be circuitous motion. but the discursive action of the reason arguing from the things of sense to intelligible things according to the orderly progress of the natural reason, belongs to _direct_ motion. when, however, it arises from divine illuminations, it comes under _oblique_ motion, as we have already said (in the reply to the second argument). lastly, only the immobility which he mentions will come under _circular_ motion. whence it appears that s. denis has quite sufficiently, and with exceeding subtlety, described the movements of contemplation. "for behold my witness is in heaven, and he that knoweth my conscience is on high. for behold short years pass away, and i am walking in a path by which i shall not return."[ ] vii has contemplation its joys? in wisdom viii. we read: _her conversation hath no bitterness, nor her company any tediousness, but joy and gladness._ and s. gregory says[ ]: "the contemplative life means a truly lovable sweetness." there are two sources of pleasure in contemplation; for, firstly, there is the very act of contemplating, and everyone finds a certain pleasure in the performance of acts which are appropriate to his nature or to his habits. and the contemplation of truth is natural to man as a rational animal; hence it is that "all men naturally desire to know," and consequently find a pleasure in the knowledge of truth. and this pleasure is enhanced according as a man has habits of wisdom and knowledge which enable him to indulge in contemplation without difficulty. secondly, contemplation is pleasurable owing to the object which we contemplate, as when a man looks at something which he loves. and this holds good of even bodily vision, for not only is the mere exercise of the visual faculties pleasurable, but the seeing people whom we love is pleasurable. since, then, the contemplative life especially consists in the contemplation of god, to which contemplation we are moved by charity, it follows that the contemplative life is not merely pleasurable by reason of the simple act of contemplating, but also by reason of divine love itself. and in both these respects the delights of contemplation exceed all other human delights. for on the one hand spiritual delights are superior to carnal delights; and on the other hand, the love of divine charity wherewith we love god exceeds all other love; whence it is said in the psalm: _taste and see that the lord is sweet._[ ] some maintain, however, that contemplation is not pleasurable, thus: . pleasure belongs to the appetitive powers, whereas contemplation is mainly in the intellect. but while the contemplative life mainly consists in the intellect, it derives its principle from the affective powers, since a man is moved to contemplation by love of god. and since the end corresponds to the principle, it follows that the goal and term of the contemplative life is in the affective powers, in the sense, namely, that a man finds a pleasure in the sight of a thing which he loves, and this very pleasure stirs up in him a yet greater love. hence s. gregory says[ ]: "when a man sees one whom he loves his love is yet more enkindled." and in this lies the full perfection of the contemplative life: that the divine truth should not only be seen but loved. . again, strife and contention hinder delight. but in contemplation there is strife and contention, for s. gregory says[ ]: "the soul, when it strives after the contemplation of god, finds itself engaged in a species of combat; at one time it seems to prevail, for by understanding and by feeling it tastes somewhat of the infinite light; at other times it is overwhelmed, for when it has tasted it faints." it is true indeed that contest and strife arising from the opposition presented by external things prevent us from finding pleasure in those same things. for no man finds a pleasure in the things against which he fights. but he does find a pleasure, other things being equal, in the actual attainment of a thing for which he has striven; thus s. augustine says[ ]: "the greater the danger in the battle, the greater the joy in the triumph." and in contemplation the strife and the combat do not arise from any opposition on the part of the truth which we contemplate, but from our deficient understanding and from the corruptible nature of our bodies which ever draw us down to things beneath us: _the corruptible body is a load upon the soul, and the earthly habitation presseth down the mind that museth upon many things._[ ] hence it is that when a man attains to the contemplation of truth he loves it still more ardently; but at the same time he more than ever hates his own defects and the sluggishness of his corruptible body, so that with the apostle he cries out: _unhappy man that i am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?_[ ] hence, too, s. gregory says: "when god is known by our desires and our understanding, he causes all pleasures of the flesh to wither up within us."[ ] . but again, delight follows upon a perfect work.[ ] but contemplation on this earth is imperfect, according to the words of the apostle: _we see now through a glass in a dark manner._[ ] hence it would seem that the contemplative life does not afford delight. it is indeed true that the contemplation of god during this life is imperfect compared with our contemplation of him in our eternal home; and in the same way it is true that the delights of contemplation here on earth are imperfect compared with the delights of contemplation in that home, of which latter joys the psalmist says: _thou shalt make them drink of the torrent of thy pleasure._[ ] yet, none the less, the contemplation of divine things here on earth is, although imperfect, far more perfect than any other subject of contemplation howsoever perfect it may be, and this by reason of the excellence of what we contemplate. whence the philosopher says[ ]: "it may indeed be the case that with regard to such noble existences and divine substances we have to be content with insignificant theories, yet even though we but barely touch upon them, none the less so ennobling is such knowledge that it affords us greater delight than any other which is accessible to us." hence, too, s. gregory says: "the contemplative life has its most desirable sweetness which uplifts the soul above itself, opens the way to heavenly things, and makes spiritual things plain to the eyes of the soul." . lastly, bodily injuries are a hindrance to delight. but contemplation is productive of bodily injuries, for we read in genesis[ ] that jacob, after saying _i have seen god face to face, ... halted on his foot ... because he touched the sinew of his thigh and it shrank_. whence it would seem that the contemplative life is not pleasurable. but after that contemplation jacob halted on one foot because, as s. gregory says, "it must needs be that as the love of this world grows weaker, so a man grows stronger in his love of god," and consequently, "when once we have known the sweetness of god, one of our feet remains sound while the other halts; for a man who halts with one foot leans only on the one that is sound."[ ] "tu esto nostrum gaudium qui es futurus præmium. sit nostra in te gloria per cuncta semper sæcula!" * * * * * _s. gregory:_ between the delights of the body and those of the heart there is ever this difference that the delights of the body are wont, when we have them not, to beget a keen yearning for them; but when we have them and eat our fill, they straightway beget disgust for them, for we are sated therewith. spiritual joys, on the contrary, when we have them not are a weariness, but when we have them we desire them still more, and the more we feed upon them the more we hunger after them. in the case of the former, the yearning for them was a pleasure, trial of them brought disgust. in the case of the latter, in desire we held them cheap, trial of them proved a source of pleasure. for spiritual joys increase the soul's desire of them even while they sate us, for the more their savour is perceived, the more we know what it is we ought eagerly to love. whence it comes to pass that when we have them not we cannot love them, for their savour is unknown to us. for how can a man love what he is ignorant of? wherefore the psalmist admonishes us, saying: _o taste and see that the lord is sweet!_[ ] as though he would say to us in plain terms: you know not his sweetness if ye have never tasted it; touch, then, the food of life with the palate of your soul that so, making proof of its sweetness, ye may be able to love it. these joys man lost when he sinned in paradise; he went out when he closed his mouth to the food of eternal sweetness. whence we too, who are born amidst the toils of this pilgrimage, come without relish to this food; we know not what we ought to desire, and the sickness of our disgust grows the more the further our souls keep away from feeding upon that sweetness; and less and less does our soul desire those interior joys the longer it has grown accustomed to do without them. we sicken, then, by reason of our very disgust, and we are wearied by the long-drawn sickness of our hunger (_hom._ xxxvi., _on the gospels_). viii is the contemplative life lasting? the lord said _mary hath chosen the best part which shall not be taken away from her_[ ] because, as s. gregory says: "contemplation begins here below that it may be perfected in our heavenly home." a thing may be termed "lasting" in two ways: from its very nature, or as far as we are concerned. as far as its nature is concerned, the contemplative life is lasting in two ways: for first of all it is concerned with incorruptible and unchangeable things, and in the second place there is nothing which is its contrary: for, as aristotle says[ ]: "to the pleasure which is derived from thought there is no contrary." and also as far as we are concerned the contemplative life is lasting; and this both because it comes under the action of the incorruptible portion of our soul--namely, our intellect--and so can last after this life; and also because in the work of the contemplative life there is no bodily toil, and we can consequently apply ourselves more continuously to such work, as also the philosopher remarks.[ ] some, however, argue that the contemplative life is not lasting, thus: . the contemplative life essentially concerns the intellect. but all the intellectual perfections of this life will be _made void_, as we read: _whether prophecies shall be made void, or tongues shall cease, or knowledge shall be destroyed._[ ] but the fashion of contemplation here and in our father's home is not the same; and the contemplative life is said "to last" by reason of charity, which is both its principle and its end; wherefore s. gregory says: "the contemplative life begins here below that it may be perfected in our heavenly home, for the fire of love which begins to burn here below, when it sees him whom it loves, burns yet more strongly with love of him." . again, men but taste the sweetness of contemplation here, snatching at it, as it were, and in passing: whence s. augustine says: "thou introducest me to a most unwonted affection within me, to an unspeakable sweetness; yet i fall back again as though dragged down by a grievous weight!"[ ] and s. gregory, expounding those words of job, _when a spirit passed before me_, says: "the mind does not long remain steadfastly occupied with the sweetness of intimate contemplation, for it is recalled to itself, stricken back by the immensity of that light." the contemplative life, then, is not lasting. it is true indeed that no action can remain long at the pitch of its intensity. and the goal of contemplation is to attain to the uniformity of divine contemplation, as denis the areopagite says.[ ] hence, although in this sense contemplation cannot last long, yet it can last long as regards its other acts. . lastly, what is not natural to a man cannot be lasting. "but the contemplative life," as the philosopher says, "is beyond man."[ ] but the philosopher says that the contemplative life is "beyond man" in the sense that it belongs to us according to what is divine in us--namely, our intellect; for our intellect is incorruptible and impassible in itself, and consequently its action can be more lasting. * * * * * _s. augustine:_ this day sets before us the great mystery of our eternal beatitude. for that life which this day signifies will not pass away as to-day is to pass away. wherefore, brethren, we exhort and beseech you by the name of our lord jesus christ by whom our sins are forgiven, by him who willed that his blood should be our ransom, by him who has deigned that we who are not deserving to be called his slaves should yet be called his brethren--we beseech you that your entire aim, that which gives you your very name of "christian," and by reason of which you bear his name upon your foreheads and in your hearts, may be directed solely to that life which we are to share with the angels; that life where is to be unending repose, everlasting joy, unfailing happiness, rest without disturbance, joy without sadness, no death. what that life is none can know save those who have made trial of it; and none can make trial of it save those who have faith (_sermon_, cclix., _on low sunday_). "and thou shalt say in that day: i will give thanks to thee, o lord, for thou wast angry with me: thy wrath is turned away, and thou hast comforted me. behold, god is my saviour. i will deal confidently, and will not fear: because the lord is my strength, and my praise, and he is become my salvation. you shall draw waters with joy out of the saviour's fountains: and you shall say in that day: praise ye the lord, and call upon his name: make his works known among the people: remember that his name is high. sing ye to the lord, for he hath done great things: shew this forth in all the earth. rejoice, and praise, o thou habitation of sion: for great is he that is in the midst of thee, the holy one of israel."[ ] footnotes: [ ] _moralia in job_, vi. . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _metaphysics_, ii. . [ ] _moralia in job_, vi. ; and _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _on ezechiel, loc. cit._ [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] isa. xxxiii. - . [ ] ps. xli. - . [ ] _moralia in job_, vi. . [ ] _ethics_, ii., iv. . [ ] _ibid._, x., viii. . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] rom. xiii. . [ ] s. matt. v. . [ ] heb. xii. . [ ] isa. xxxii. . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] gen. xxix. . [ ] _de officiis_, i. , , . [ ] wisd. viii. . [ ] _soliloquies_, i. . [ ] jer. xiv. , . [ ] _of the divine names_, vii. . [ ] _on contemplation_, i. and . [ ] _de trinitate_, xiv. . [ ] _de consideratione_, ii. . [ ] _de anima_, ii., i. . [ ] _loc. cit._, i. . [ ] cor. iii. . [ ] _de trinitate_, xv. . [ ] _de consideratione_, v. . [ ] _de fide orthodoxa_, ii. . [ ] s. luke x. . [ ] wisd. vii. . [ ] cor. v. - . [ ] hab. ii. . [ ] ps. cxliii. . [ ] tim. i. . [ ] ps. lxxii. - . [ ] _moralia in job_, vi. . [ ] _on the trinity_, i. . [ ] _ethics_, x., vii. . [ ] rom. i. . [ ] _de vera religione_, xxix. [ ] ps. cxlii. , . [ ] _de consideratione_, v. . [ ] _of contemplation_, i. . [ ] john iii. . [ ] ps. xxvi. . [ ] ps. xxxv. , . [ ] phil. iv. ; rom. viii. . [ ] isa. xxv. , . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _de genesi ad litt._, xii. . [ ] gen. xxxii. . [ ] _epistola i., to caius the monk._ [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] the _glossa ordinaria_, taken from s. gregory's _moralia in job_, xxiv. . [ ] _moralia_, vi. . [ ] _de anima_, iii., vii. . [ ] _dialogues_, ii. . [ ] isa. xxvi. , , , . [ ] _of the divine names_, iv., i. . [ ] _de anima_, iii., vii. and . [ ] _physica_, viii., vii. . [ ] viii. . [ ] _of contemplation_, i. . [ ] job xvi. , . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] ps. xxxiii. . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _ibid._ [ ] _conf._, viii. . [ ] wisd. ix. . [ ] rom. vii. . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _ethics_, x., iv. . [ ] cor. xiii, . [ ] ps. xxxv. . [ ] _de partibus animalium_, i. . [ ] xxxii. - . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] ps. xxxiii. . [ ] s. luke x. . [ ] _topics_, i., xiii. . [ ] _ethics_, x., vii. . [ ] cor. xiii. . [ ] _conf._, x. . [ ] _of the divine names_, iv., i. ; and _of the heavenly hierarchy_, iii. [ ] _ethics_, x., vii. . [ ] isa. xii. - . question clxxxi of the active life i. do all acts of the moral virtues come under the active life? ii. does prudence pertain to the active life? iii. does teaching belong to the active or to the contemplative life? iv. does the active life continue after this life? i do all acts of the moral virtues come under the active life? s. isidore says[ ]: "in the active life all the vices are first of all to be removed by the practice of good works, so that in the contemplative life a man may, with now purified mental gaze, pass to the contemplation of the divine light." but all the vices can only be removed by the acts of the moral virtues. consequently the acts of the moral virtues belong to the active life. as we have said already,[ ] the active and the contemplative lives are distinguished by the different occupations of men who are aiming at different ends, one being the consideration of truth--the goal of the contemplative life; the other external works with which the active life is occupied. but it is clear that the moral virtues are not especially concerned with the contemplation of truth but with action; thus the philosopher says[ ]: "for virtue, knowledge is of little or no avail." it is therefore manifest that the moral virtues essentially belong to the active life; and in accordance with this the philosopher[ ] refers the moral virtues to active happiness. some, however, maintain that all the acts of the moral virtues do not belong to the active life, thus: . the active life seems to consist solely in those things which have to do with our neighbour; for s. gregory says[ ]: "the active life means breaking bread to the hungry;" and at the close, after enumerating many things which have to do with our neighbour, he adds: "and to provide for each according as they have need." but not by all the acts of the moral virtues are we brought into contact with others, but only by justice and its divisions. consequently all the acts of the moral virtues do not belong to the active life. but the chief of the moral virtues is justice, and by it a man is brought into contact with his neighbour, as the philosopher proves.[ ] we describe, then, the active life by those things by means of which we are brought into contact with our neighbour; yet we do not thereby mean that the active life consists solely in these things, but chiefly in them. . again, s. gregory says[ ]: "by lia, who was blear-eyed but fruitful, is signified the active life which sees less clearly, since occupied with works; but when, now by word, now by example, it arouses its neighbour to imitation, it brings forth many children in good works." but all this seems rather to come under charity, by which we love our neighbour, than under the moral virtues. consequently the acts of the moral virtues seem not to belong to the active life. but a man can, by acts of all the moral virtues, lead his neighbour to good works by his example; and this s. gregory here attributes to the active life. . lastly, the moral virtues dispose us to the contemplative life. but disposition to a thing and the perfect attainment of that thing come under the same head. consequently the moral virtues do not belong to the active life. but just as a virtue which is directed towards the end of another virtue passes over, in some sort, into the species of that latter virtue, so also when a man uses those things which belong to the active life precisely as disposing him to contemplation, then those things which he so uses are comprised under the contemplative life. but for those who devote themselves to the works of the moral virtues as being good in themselves and not as dispositive towards the contemplative life, the moral virtues belong to the active life. although at the same time it might be said that the active life is a disposition to the contemplative life. "o death, how bitter is the remembrance of thee to a man that hath peace in his possessions, to a man that is at rest, and whose ways are prosperous in all things, and that is yet able to take meat! o death, thy sentence is welcome to the man that is in need, and to him whose strength faileth, who is in a decrepit age, and that is in care about all things, and to the distrustful that loseth patience! fear not the sentence of death. remember what things have been before thee, and what shall come after thee: this sentence is from the lord upon all flesh. and what shall come upon thee by the good pleasure of the most high whether ten, or a hundred, or a thousand years."[ ] ii does prudence pertain to the active life? the philosopher says[ ] that prudence pertains to active happiness, and to this pertain the moral virtues. as we have said above, when one thing is directed towards the attainment of another thing as its end, it--and this especially holds good in morals--is, so to speak, drawn into the species of that towards which it is thus directed, thus: "he who commits adultery in order to steal" says the philosopher,[ ] "is rather a thief than an adulterer." now it is clear that that knowledge which is prudence is directed to the acts of the moral virtues as its end, for prudence is "the right mode of procedure in our actions;"[ ] hence, too, the ends of the moral virtues are the principles of prudence, as the philosopher also says in the same work.[ ] in the same way, then, as we said above that in the case of a man who directs them to the repose of contemplation, the moral virtues pertain to the contemplative life, so also the knowledge which is prudence, and which is by its very nature directed to the operations of the moral virtues, directly pertains to the active life--that is, of course, on the supposition that prudence is understood in the strict sense in which the philosopher speaks of it. if, however, prudence be understood in a broad sense--namely, as embracing all kinds of human knowledge--then prudence pertains, at least in certain of its aspects, to the contemplative life; thus cicero says[ ]: "the man who can see a truth the most clearly and quickly, and explain the reason of it, is rightly regarded as most prudent and most wise." but some maintain that prudence does not pertain to the active life, thus: . just as the contemplative life pertains to the cognoscitive powers, so does the active life pertain to the appetitive powers. but prudence does not pertain to the appetitive powers but rather to the cognoscitive. consequently it does not pertain to the active life. but moral acts derive their character from the end towards which they are directed; consequently to the contemplative life belongs that kind of knowledge which makes its end consist in the very knowledge of truth. but the knowledge which is prudence, and which is rather directed to the acts of the appetitive powers, pertains to the active life. . again, s. gregory says[ ] "the active life, occupied as it is with works, sees less clearly," and hence is typified by lia, who was blear-eyed. but prudence demands clear vision, so that a man may judge what is to be done. whence it would seem that prudence does not pertain to the active life. but occupation with external things only makes a man see less clearly those intelligible truths which are not connected with the things of sense; the external occupations of the active life, however, make a man see more clearly in his judgment on a course of action--and this is a question of prudence--for he has experience, and his mind is attentive: "when you are attentive," says sallust,[ ] "then mental acumen avails." . lastly, prudence comes midway betwixt the moral and the intellectual virtues. but just as the moral virtues pertain to the active life, so do the intellectual virtues pertain to the contemplative. hence it would seem that prudence belongs neither to the active nor to the contemplative life, but, as s. augustine says, to a kind of life which is betwixt and between.[ ] but prudence is said to come betwixt the intellectual and the moral virtues in the sense that, whereas it has the same subject as the intellectual virtues, it yet coincides as regards its object with the moral virtues. and that third species of life comes betwixt and between the active and the contemplative life as regards the things with which it is concerned, for at one time it is occupied with the contemplation of truth, at another time with external matters. "for what shall i do when god shall rise to judge? and when he shall examine, what shall i answer him? for i have always feared god as waves swelling over me, and his weight i was not able to bear."[ ] iii does teaching belong to the active or to the contemplative life? s. gregory says[ ]: "the active life means breaking bread to the hungry; teaching words of wisdom to them that know them not." the act of teaching has a twofold object: for teaching is by speaking, and speaking is the audible sign of an interior mental concept. one object, therefore, of our teaching is the matter to be taught, the object, that is, of our interior concepts; and in this sense teaching sometimes belongs to the active, sometimes to the contemplative life. it belongs to the active life if a man forms interiorly some concept of a truth with a view to thus directing his external acts; but it belongs to the contemplative life if a man interiorly conceives some intelligible truth and delights in the thought of it and the love of it. whence s. augustine says[ ]: "let them choose for themselves the better part--that, namely, of the contemplative life; let them devote themselves to the word of god; let them yearn for the sweetness of teaching; let them occupy themselves with the knowledge that leads to salvation"--where he clearly says that teaching belongs to the contemplative life. the second object of teaching arises from the fact that teaching is given through the medium of audible speech and thus the hearer himself is the object of the teaching; and from this point of view all teaching belongs to the active life to which pertain all external actions. some, however, regard teaching as rather belonging to the contemplative than to the active life, thus: . s. gregory says[ ]: "perfect men declare to their brethren those good things of heaven which they themselves have been able to contemplate at least 'through a glass,' and they thus kindle in their hearts the love of that hidden beauty." yet what is this but teaching? to teach, therefore, is an act of the contemplative life. but s. gregory expressly speaks here of teaching from the point of view of the matter that is presented--that is, of teaching as it is concerned with the consideration of and love of the truth. . again, acts and habits seem to belong to the same kind of life. but to teach is an act of wisdom, for the philosopher says: "the proof that a man knows is that he is able to teach."[ ] since, then, wisdom--that is, knowledge--pertains to the contemplative life, it would seem that teaching also must pertain to the contemplative life. but habits and acts agree in their object, and consequently the argument just given is based upon the material of the interior concept. for the capacity for teaching is possessed by a wise or learned man just in proportion as he can express in outward words the concepts of his mind and so be able to bring home a truth to someone else. . lastly, prayer is an act of the contemplative life just in the same way as is contemplation itself. but prayer, even when one man prays for another, belongs to the contemplative life. hence it would seem that when one man brings to the knowledge of another some truth upon which he has meditated, such an act pertains to the contemplative life. but he who prays for another in no way acts upon him for whom he prays; his acts are directed towards god alone, the intelligible truth. but he who teaches another does act upon him by some external action. hence there is no parallel between the two cases. iv does the active life continue after this life? s. gregory says[ ]: "the active life passes away with this present world; the contemplative life begins here so as to be perfected in our heavenly home." as already said, the active life makes its end consist in external actions, and these, if they are directed towards the repose of contemplation, already belong to the contemplative life. but in the future life of the blessed all occupation with external things will cease; or if there are any external acts they will be directed towards that end which is contemplation. hence s. augustine says, at the close of his _of the city of god_: "there we shall be at rest from toil, we shall gaze, we shall love, we shall praise." and he had just previously said: "there will god be seen unendingly, be loved without wearying, be praised without fatigue; this duty, this disposition of soul, this act, will be the lot of all."[ ] some, however, maintain that the active life will be continued after this life, thus: . to the active life belong the acts of the moral virtues. but the moral virtues remain after death, as s. augustine says.[ ] but the acts of the moral virtues which are concerned with the means to the end will not remain after death, but only those which have to do with the end itself. yet it is precisely these latter which go to form the repose of contemplation to which s. augustine alludes in the above-quoted passage where he speaks of being "at rest from toil"; and this "rest" is not to be understood of freedom from merely external disturbances, but also from the internal conflict of the passions. . again, to teach others pertains to the active life. but in the next life--where we shall be as the angels--there can be teaching; for we see it in the case of the angels of whom one illumines, clarifies, and perfects another, all of which refer to their reception of knowledge, as is clear from denis the areopagite.[ ] hence it seems that the active life is to be continued after this life. but the contemplative life especially consists in the contemplation of god; and as regards this no angel teaches another, for it is said of the angels of _the little ones_[ ]--angels who are of an inferior choir--that _they always see the face of the father_. and similarly in the future life: there no man will teach another about god, for we shall all _see him as he is_.[ ] and this agrees with the words of jeremias[ ]: _and they shall teach no more every man his neighbour ... saying: know the lord; for all shall know me from the least of them even to the greatest._ but when it is question of dispensing the mysteries of god, then one angel can teach another by clarifying, illumining, and perfecting. and in this sense the angels do in some sort share in the active life as long as this world lasts, for they are occupied with ministering to the inferior creation. this is what was signified by jacob's vision of the angels ascending the ladder--whereby was meant the contemplative life--and descending the ladder--whereby was meant the active life. at the same time, as s. gregory says[ ]: "not that they so went out from the divine vision as to be deprived of the joys of contemplation." and thus in their case the active life is not distinguished from the contemplative as it is in us who find the works of the active life an impediment to the contemplative life. moreover, we are not promised a likeness to the angels in their work of administering to the inferior creation, for this does not belong to us according to our nature, as is the case with the angels, but according to our vision of god. . lastly, the more durable a thing is the more capable it seems of lasting after this life. but the active life is more durable than the contemplative, for s. gregory says[ ]: "we can remain steadfast in the active life, but in nowise can we maintain the mind's fixed gaze in the contemplative life." consequently the active life is much more capable of continuing after death than is the contemplative life. but in our present state the durability of the active life as compared with the contemplative life does not arise from any feature of either of these kinds of life considered in themselves, but from a defect on our part; for we are dragged down from the heights of contemplation by the body's burden. and thus s. gregory goes on to say that, "thrust back by its very weakness from those vast heights, the soul relapses into itself." "o bless our god, ye gentiles: and make the voice of his praise to be heard. who hath set my soul to live: and hath not suffered my feet to be moved. for thou, o god, hast proved us; thou hast tried us by fire, as silver is tried. thou hast brought us into a net, thou hast laid afflictions on our back; thou hast set men over our heads. we have passed through fire and water, and thou hast brought us out into a refreshment."[ ] footnotes: [ ] _of the supreme good_, iii., xv. [ ] _qu._ clxxix. . [ ] _ethics_, ii., iv. . [ ] _ibid._, x., viii. . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _ethics_, v., i. . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] ecclus. xli. - . [ ] _ethics._, x., viii. . [ ] _ibid._, v., ii. . [ ] _ethics_, vi., v. . [ ] _ibid._, x., viii. . [ ] _de officiis_, i., v. [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _conjuratio catilinæ_, li. [ ] _of the city of god_, xix. , , and . [ ] job xxxi. , . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _on the words of the lord, sermon_ civ., _alias_ xxvii. . [ ] _hom._ v., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _metaphysics_, i., i. . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] xxii. . [ ] _on the trinity_, xiv. . [ ] _of the heavenly hierarchy_, vii. [ ] s. matt. xviii. . [ ] john iii. . [ ] xxxi. . [ ] _moralia in job_, ii. . [ ] _hom._ v., _on ezechiel_. [ ] ps. lxv. - . question clxxxii of the comparison between the active and the contemplative life i. is the active life preferable to the contemplative? cardinal cajetan, on preparation for the contemplative life s. augustine, _confessions_, x., xliii. " _on psalm_ xxvi. ii. is the active life more meritorious than the contemplative? iii. is the active life a hindrance to the contemplative life? cardinal cajetan, on the true interior life s. augustine, _sermon_, cclvi., v. iv. does the active life precede the contemplative? i is the active life preferable to the contemplative? the lord said: _mary hath chosen the best part, which shall not be taken away from her._[ ] and by mary is signified the contemplative life, which is consequently to be preferred to the active. there is no reason why one thing should not be in itself more excellent than another while yet this latter is, for certain reasons, preferable to it. absolutely speaking, then, the contemplative life is better than the active. and the philosopher[ ] alleges eight proofs of this. firstly, that the contemplative life pertains to that which is best in a man, namely his intellect and its proper objects, _i.e._ intelligible truths, whereas the active life is concerned with external things. hence rachel, who typifies the contemplative life, is interpreted as meaning "the beginning seen"; while lia, who was blear-eyed, typifies, according to s. gregory, the active life.[ ] secondly, because the contemplative life can be more continuous, even though we cannot maintain our contemplation at its highest pitch; thus mary, who is typical of the contemplative life, is depicted as sitting ever at the lord's feet. thirdly, because the delights of the contemplative life surpass those of the active life; whence s. augustine says[ ]: "martha was troubled, but mary feasted." fourthly, because in the contemplative life a man is more independent, since for this kind of life he needs less; whence we read: _martha, martha, thou art careful, and art troubled about many things._[ ] fifthly, because the contemplative life is loved rather for its own sake, whereas the active life is directed towards an end other than itself; whence it is said in ps. xxvi. : _one thing i have asked of the lord, this will i seek after, that i may dwell in the house of the lord all the days of my life._ sixthly, because the contemplative life consists in a certain stillness and repose, as is said in ps. xlv. : _be still, and see that i am god._ seventhly, because the contemplative life is occupied with divine things whereas the active life is occupied with human things; whence s. augustine says[ ]: "in the beginning was the word: see what mary heard! the word was made flesh; see to what martha ministered!" eighthly, because the contemplative life pertains to that which is more peculiar to man--namely, his intellect--whereas in the works of the active life our inferior powers--those, namely, which we share with the brute creation--have a part; whence, in ps. xxxv. , after saying: _beasts and men thou wilt preserve, o lord_, the psalmist adds what belongs to men alone: _in thy light we shall see light._ and the lord himself gives a ninth reason when he says: _mary hath chosen the best part which shall not be taken away from her_,[ ] words which s. augustine thus expounds: "not that thou, martha, hast chosen badly, but that mary hath chosen better; and see in what sense she hath chosen better: because it _shall not be taken away from her_; for from thee shall one day be taken away the burden of necessity; but eternal is the sweetness of truth."[ ] but in a certain sense, and in certain cases, the active life is to be chosen in preference to the contemplative, and this by reason of the needs of this present life; as also the philosopher says: "to practise philosophy is better than to become rich; but to become rich is better for one who suffers need."[ ] some, however, think that the active life is preferable to the contemplative, thus: . "the lot which falls to the better people seems to be the more honourable and better," as the philosopher says.[ ] but the active life is the lot of those who are in the higher position--of prelates, for instance, who are placed in honourable and powerful positions; thus s. augustine says[ ]: "in the life of action we must not love the honour which belongs to this life, nor its power." whence it would seem that the active life is preferable to the contemplative. but it is not the active life only which belongs to prelates, they must needs excel in the contemplative life; whence s. gregory says in his _pastoral rule_[ ]: "let the superior be foremost in action, but before all let him be uplifted in contemplation." . again, in all acts and habits the control belongs to the more important: the soldier, for instance--as being higher placed--directs the saddle-maker. but it is the active life which directs and controls the contemplative, as is clear from the words addressed to moses: _go down and charge the people, lest they should have a mind to pass the limits to see the lord._[ ] the active life is therefore more important than the contemplative. but the contemplative life consists in a certain liberty of spirit; for s. gregory says[ ]: "the contemplative life means passing over to a certain liberty of spirit since in it a man thinks not of temporal but of eternal things." similarly boëthius says[ ]: "the human soul must needs be free when occupied with the thought of the divine mind; not so when distracted with the things of the body." from all this it is clear that the active life does not directly guide the contemplative, but by preparing the way for it it does direct certain works pertaining to the contemplative life, and in this sense the active life is rather the servant than the master of the contemplative. and this s. gregory expresses when he says: "the active life is termed a service, the contemplative life freedom."[ ] . lastly, no one should be withdrawn from what is greater in order to apply himself to what is less; thus the apostle says: _be zealous for the better gifts._[ ] but some are withdrawn from the contemplative state of life and are made to busy themselves with the affairs of the active life; this is the case, for instance, with those who are placed in positions of authority. whence it seems that the active life is of more importance than the contemplative. but though a man may happen to be called away from contemplation to the works of the active life owing to the needs of the present life, yet he is not thereby compelled completely to relinquish his contemplation. hence s. augustine says:[ ] "the love of truth asks for a holy leisure; the demands of charity undertake honest toil--that, namely, of the active life. and if no one imposes this latter burden on us, then we must devote ourselves to the study and contemplation of the truth; if, however, such a burden is imposed upon us, then must we undertake it because of the demands of charity. yet not even then are we altogether to resign the joys flowing from the contemplation of truth, lest the sweetness of such contemplation be withdrawn from us and the burden we have assumed crush us." whence it appears that when a man is called from the contemplative to the active life it is not so much that something is withdrawn from him, but that an additional burden is imposed upon him. "as we have heard, so have we seen, in the city of the lord of hosts, in the city of our god: god hath founded it for ever. we have received thy mercy, o god, in the midst of thy temple. for this is god, our god unto eternity, and for ever and ever: he shall rule us for evermore."[ ] _cajetan:_ those whose duty it is to instruct others in spiritual progress should note that they are bound to take great pains to exercise them in the active life before they urge them to ascend the heights of contemplation. for they must learn to subdue their passions by acquiring habits of meekness, patience, generosity, humility, and tranquillity of soul, before they ascend to the contemplative life. through lack of this, many, not so much walking in the way of god as leaping along it, find themselves--after they have spent the greater portion of their life in contemplation--devoid of virtue, impatient, irascible, and proud, if one but so much as touch them on this point! such people have neither the active nor the contemplative life, nor even a mixture of the two; they have built upon sand! and would that such cases were rare! (_on_ . . .). * * * * * _s. augustine:_ terrified by my sins and my weight of misery i was disturbed within my soul and meditated flight into solitude. but thou didst forbid it and didst strengthen me and say: _christ died for all, that they also who live may not now live to themselves, but unto him who died for them and rose again._[ ] behold, o lord, i cast my care upon thee so that i may live, and i will meditate on the wondrous things of thy law. thou knowest my lack of skill and my weakness; teach me and heal me! he--thine only-begotten son--in whom lie hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, he redeemed me with his blood. _let not the proud calumniate me!_ when i think of my ransom then i eat and i drink, and i pray, and in my poverty i yearn to be filled with him, to be among those who _eat and are filled_ and they _praise the lord who seek him_ (_conf._, x., xliii. ). * * * * * _s. augustine: he hath hid me in his tabernacle in the day of evils._[ ] wherefore without any arrogance have i sought for that one thing, neither doth my soul reproach me, saying: why do you seek after it? from whom do you seek it? do you, a sinner, wickedly dare to ask something of god? do you, weak man, of unclean heart, dare to hope that you will one day attain to the contemplation of god? i dare! not indeed of myself, but because of his pleasure in me; not out of presumptuous trust in myself, but from confidence in his promise. for will he who gave such a pledge to the pilgrim desert him when he comes to him? _for he hath hid me in his tabernacle in the day of evils_ (_enarr. in ps._ xxvi.). ii is the active life more meritorious than the contemplative? s. gregory says[ ]: "great are the merits of the active life, but they are surpassed by those of the contemplative life." the source of merit is charity. charity, however, consists in the love of god and of our neighbour; and to love god is, in itself, more meritorious than to love our neighbour. consequently that which more directly pertains to the love of god is more meritorious in its nature than something that directly pertains to the love of our neighbour for god's sake. the contemplative life, however, directly and immediately pertains to the love of god, as s. augustine says[ ]: "the love of truth asks for a holy leisure; that is the contemplative life," and this truth is the divine truth on which the contemplative life is centred. the active life, on the other hand, is more immediately concerned with the love of our neighbour, it is _busy about much serving_.[ ] hence of its very nature the contemplative life is more meritorious than the active, as is well expressed by s. gregory[ ] when he says: "the contemplative life is more meritorious than the active, for the latter toils in the wear and tear of present work by which it must needs help its neighbour; whereas the former, by a certain inward savour, already has a foretaste of the repose to come"--that is, in the contemplation of god. it may, however, chance that one man derives greater merit from the works of the active life than another does from his contemplative life; as, for example, when, from the superabundance of the divine love, in order to fulfil god's will, and for his greater glory, a man is content to be separated for a space from the sweetness of divine contemplation, as the apostle says: _i wished myself to be an anathema from christ for my brethren._[ ] on these words s. chrysostom[ ] comments thus: "the love of christ had so completely taken possession of his heart that he could even despise that which he desired beyond all things--namely, to be with christ--and that because it was pleasing to christ." yet some maintain that the active life is more meritorious than the contemplative, thus: . a thing is said to be meritorious because of the reward. but reward is due to work, as s. paul says: _and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour._[ ] labour, however, belongs to the active life, repose to the contemplative, as s. gregory says[ ]: "everyone who is converted to god must needs first labour in toil; he must take lia--that is, that so he may arrive at 'the vision of the beginning'--that is, the embraces of rachel." whence it seems as though the active life was more meritorious than the contemplative. but while external toil makes for an increase of accidental reward, the increase of merit as regards essential reward consists mainly in charity, one proof of which is external toil undertaken for christ's sake; but a much greater proof of this is given when a man puts aside all that pertains to this life and delights in giving himself up solely to divine contemplation. . again, contemplative life is in some sort the commencement of future bliss; and consequently the words of s. john: _so will i have him to remain till i come_, s. augustine comments as follows: "this might be more fully expressed thus: may perfect actions, modelled on the example of my passion, follow me; but may contemplation begun here on earth remain till i come, to be perfected when i come"[ ]; and similarly s. gregory says[ ]: "the contemplative life begins here below to be perfected in our heavenly home." but in that future life we shall not merit, but shall receive the reward of our merits. consequently the contemplative life seems to have less of the ratio of merit than has the active life; but it has more of the ratio of reward. but in the state of future bliss a man has arrived at his perfection and consequently there is no room left for merit; but if there were room left his merits would be more efficacious owing to the pre-eminence of his charity. the contemplation of this present life, however, has some accompanying imperfection, and consequently there is room for improvement; hence such contemplation does not destroy the idea of meriting but makes increase of merit in proportion as divine charity is more and more exercised. . lastly, s. gregory says[ ]: "no sacrifice is more acceptable to god than zeal for souls." but zeal for souls means that a man gives himself up to the works of the active life. whence it seems that the contemplative life is not more meritorious than the active. but a sacrifice is spiritually offered to god when anything is presented to him; and of all man's good things god specially accepts that of the human soul when offered to him in sacrifice. but a man ought to offer to god first of all his own soul, according to the words of ecclesiasticus[ ]: _have pity on thine own soul, pleasing god_; secondly, the souls of others, according to the words: _and he that heareth let him say: come._[ ] but the more closely a man knits his own soul, or his neighbour's soul, to god, the more acceptable to god is his sacrifice; consequently it is more pleasing to god that a man should give his soul, and the souls of others, to contemplation than to action. when, then, s. gregory says: "no sacrifice is more acceptable to god than zeal for souls," he does not mean that the merit of the active life is greater than that of the contemplative, but that it is more meritorious that a man should offer to god his own soul and the soul of others than that he should offer any other external gift whatsoever. "but thou, our god, art gracious and true, patient, and ordering all things in mercy. for if we sin, we are thine, knowing thy greatness: and if we sin not, we know that we are counted with thee. for to know thee is perfect justice: and to know thy justice, and thy power, is the root of immortality."[ ] iii is the active life a hindrance to the contemplative life? s. gregory says[ ]: "they who would hold the citadel of contemplation must first needs exercise themselves on the battle-field of toil." we may consider the active life from two points of view. for we may first of all consider the actual occupation with, and practice of, external works; and from this point of view it is clear that the active life is a hindrance to the contemplative, for it is impossible for a man to be simultaneously occupied with external works, and yet at leisure for divine contemplation. but we may also consider the active life from the standpoint of the harmony and order which it introduces into the interior passions of the soul; and from this point of view the active life is an assistance to contemplation since this latter is hindered by the disturbance arising from the passions. thus s. gregory says[ ]: "they who would hold the citadel of contemplation must first needs exercise themselves on the battle-field of toil; they must learn, forsooth, whether they still do harm to their neighbours, whether they bear with equanimity the harm their neighbours may do them; whether, when temporal good things are set before them, their minds are overwhelmed with joy; whether when such things are withdrawn they are over much grieved. and lastly, they must ask themselves whether, when they withdraw within upon themselves and search into the things of the spirit, they do not carry with them the shadows of things corporeal, or whether, if perchance they have touched upon them, they discreetly repel them." thus, then, the exercises of the active life are conducive to contemplation, for they still those interior passions whence arise those imaginations which serve as a hindrance to contemplation. some, however, maintain that the active life is a hindrance to the contemplative, thus: . a certain stillness of mind is needful for contemplation, as the psalmist says: _be still and see that i am god._[ ] but the active life implies anxiety: _martha, martha, thou art careful, and art troubled about many things._[ ] . again, a certain clearness of vision is called for in the contemplative life. but the active life hinders this clearness of vision, for s. gregory says[ ]: "lia was blear-eyed and fruitful, for the active life, since occupied with toil, sees less clearly." . and lastly, things that are contrary hinder one another. but the active and the contemplative life are contrary to one another; for the active life is occupied with many things, whereas the contemplative life dwells upon one object of contemplation; they are, then, in opposite camps. but all these arguments insist upon the occupation with external affairs which is but one feature in the active life, not upon its other feature--namely, its power to repress the passions. * * * * * _cajetan: but the five foolish virgins, having taken their lamps, did not take oil with them. but the wise took oil in their vessels with the lamps._[ ] by this oil is signified testimony to a man's goodness or love of god. for there is this difference between people who perform good works, that the only testimony which some men have to their goodness is without--namely, in the works themselves; within, however, they do not feel that they love god with their whole heart, that they repent of their sins because they are hateful to god, or that they love their neighbour for god's sake. but there are others who so perform good works that both their works that shine before men bear witness without to the good soul within, and also within their own conscience the holy spirit himself testifies to their spirit that they are the sons of god; for such men feel that they love god with their whole heart, that they repent of their sins for god's sake, and that they love their neighbour and themselves for god's sake: in brief, they feel that god is the sole reason why they love, why they hope, fear, rejoice, or are sad: in a word, why they work both within and without: this is to have oil in one's own vessels (_on s. matt._ xxv. , ). _s. augustine:_ see the life that mary chose! yet was she but a type of that life, she as yet possessed it not. for there are two kinds of life: one means delight; the other means a burden. and the burdensome one is toilsome, while the delightsome one is pleasurable. but enter thou within; seek not that delight without, lest ye swell with it and find yourself unable to enter by the narrow gate! see how mary saw the lord in the flesh and heard the lord by the voice of the flesh--as ye have heard when the epistle to the hebrews has been read--as it were through a veil. (_a new and living way which he hath dedicated to us through the veil, that is to say, his flesh_.[ ]) but when we shall see him face to face there will be no "veil." mary, then, sat--that is, she rested from toil--and she listened and she praised; but martha was anxious about much serving. and the lord said to her: _martha, martha, thou art careful and art troubled about many things; but one thing is necessary[ ]_ (_sermon_, cclvi., v. ). "bless the lord, o my soul: and let all that is within me bless his holy name. bless the lord, o my soul, and never forget all he hath done for thee. who forgiveth all thy iniquities: who healeth all thy diseases. who redeemeth thy life from destruction: who crowneth thee with mercy and compassion. who satisfieth thy desire with good things: thy youth shall be renewed like the eagle's. the lord doth mercies, and judgment for all that suffer wrong. he hath made his ways known to moses: his wills to the children of israel. the lord is compassionate and merciful: long suffering and plenteous in mercy. he will not always be angry: nor will he threaten for ever. he hath not dealt with us according to our sins: nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. for according to the height of the heaven above the earth: he hath strengthened his mercy towards them that fear him. as far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our iniquities from us. as a father hath compassion on his children, so hath the lord compassion on them that fear him: for he knoweth our frame. he remembereth that we are dust: man's days are as grass, as the flower of the field so shall he flourish."[ ] iv does the active life precede the contemplative? s. gregory says[ ]: "the active life precedes the contemplative in the order of time, for from good works a man passes to contemplation." one thing may precede another in two ways: firstly by its very nature; and in this sense the contemplative life precedes the active in that it is occupied with chiefer and better things, and hence it both moves and directs the active life. for, as s. augustine says,[ ] the higher reason, which is destined for contemplation, is compared to the lower reason, which is destined for action, as man is compared to woman--she is to be governed by him. but secondly, one thing may be prior to another as far as we are concerned, it may, that is, precede it in the way of generation. and in this sense the active life precedes the contemplative, for it conduces to it, as we have already said. in the order of generation disposition to a nature precedes that nature, though that nature is, simply speaking and considered in itself, prior to the disposition to it. but some maintain that the active life does not precede the contemplative, thus: . the contemplative life is directly concerned with the love of god, the active life with the love of our neighbour. but love of god precedes love of our neighbour, for we have to love our neighbour for god's sake. but the contemplative life is not concerned with merely any kind of love of god, but with the perfect love of him; the active life, on the contrary, is necessary for any kind of love of our neighbour, for s. gregory says[ ]: "without the contemplative life men can gain admittance to their heavenly home if they have not neglected the good works they could have done; but they cannot enter without the active life, if they neglect the good works they could do." whence it appears that the active life precedes the contemplative in the sense that that which is common to everybody precedes in the order of generation that which is peculiar to the perfect. . again, s. gregory says[ ]: "you must know that just as the right procedure is for a man to pass from the active to the contemplative life; so, too, it is often profitable to the soul to return to the active life." consequently the active life is not absolutely speaking prior to the contemplative. but while we proceed from the active life to the contemplative by way of generation, we return from the contemplative to the active by way of direction, in order, that is, that our active life may be directed by the contemplative; just in the same way as habits are generated by acts and then, as is said in the _ethics_, when the habit is formed we act still more perfectly.[ ] . lastly, things which accord with different characters do not seem to be necessarily related. but the active and contemplative life are suited to different characters; thus s. gregory says[ ]: "it often happens that men who could have given themselves to peaceful contemplation of god have been burdened with external occupations and so have made shipwreck; while, on the contrary, men who could have lived well had they been occupied with human concerns, have been slain by the sword of their life of repose." consequently the active life does not seem to precede the contemplative. but those who are subject to the influx of their passions because of their natural eagerness in action, are for that very reason more suited for the active life, and this because of the restlessness of their temperament. hence s. gregory says[ ]: "some are so restless that if they desist from work they suffer grievously, for the more free they are to think the worse interior tumults they have to endure." some, on the contrary, have a natural purity of soul and a reposefulness which renders them fit for the contemplative life; if such men were to be applied wholly to the active life they would incur great loss. hence s. gregory says[ ]: "some men are of so slothful a disposition that if they undertake any work they succumb at the very outset." but he adds: "yet often love stirs up even slothful souls to work, and fear exercises a restraining influence on souls which suffer a disturbing influence in their contemplation." hence even those who are more suited for the active life, may, by the exercise of it, be prepared for the contemplative; and, on the contrary, those who are more suited for the contemplative life may profitably undertake the labours proper to the active life, that so they may be rendered still more fit for contemplation. "i have cried to thee, for thou, o god, hast heard me: o incline thy ear unto me, and hear my words. show forth thy wonderful mercies; thou who savest them that trust in thee. from them that resist thy right hand keep me, as the apple of thy eye. protect me under the shadow of thy wings."[ ] footnotes: [ ] s. luke x. . [ ] _ethics_, x. and . [ ] _moralia in job_, vi. . [ ] _of the words of the lord, sermon_ ciii., _alias_ xxvi. . [ ] s. luke x. . [ ] _of the words of the lord, sermon_ civ., _alias_ xxvii. . [ ] s. luke x. . [ ] _sermon_ ciii., _alias_ xxvi. . [ ] _topica_, iii., ii. . [ ] _ibid._, iii., i. . [ ] _of the city of god_, xix. . [ ] ii. . [ ] exod. xix. . [ ] _hom._ iii., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _of consolation_, v. . [ ] _hom._ iii., _on ezechiel_. [ ] cor. xii. . [ ] _of the city of god_, xix. . [ ] ps. xlvii. , , . [ ] cor. v. . [ ] ps. xxvi. . [ ] _moralia in job_, vi. . [ ] _of the city of god_, xix. . [ ] s. luke x. . [ ] _hom._ iii., _on ezechiel_. [ ] rom. ix. . [ ] _of compunction_, i. . [ ] cor. iii. . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _tractat._, , _on st. john_, xxi. . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _hom._ xii., _on ezechiel_. [ ] xxx. . [ ] apoc. xxii. . [ ] wisd. xv. - . [ ] _moralia in job_, vi. . [ ] _ibid._ [ ] ps. xlv. . [ ] s. luke x. . [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] s. matt. xxv. , . [ ] heb. x. . [ ] s. luke x. , . [ ] ps. cii. - . [ ] _hom._ iii., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _on the trinity_, xii. . [ ] _hom._ iii., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _hom._ xiv., _on ezechiel_. [ ] ii. , . [ ] _moralia in job_, vi. . [ ] _moralia_, vi. . [ ] _ibid._, vi. . [ ] ps. xvi. - . question clxxxvi on the religious state are contemplative orders superior to active orders? are contemplative orders superior to active orders? the lord declared that mary's was _the best part_, and she is the type of the contemplative life.[ ] religious orders differ from one another primarily according to the ends they have in view, but secondarily according to the works they practise. and since one thing cannot be said to be superior to another save by reason of the differences between them, it will follow that the superiority of one religious order to another must depend primarily upon their respective ends, secondarily upon the works they practise. and these two grounds of comparison are not of equal value; for the comparison between them from the point of view of their respective ends is an absolute one, since an end is sought for its own sake; whereas the comparison arising from their respective works is a relative one, since works are not done for their own sake but for the sake of the end to be gained. consequently one religious order is superior to another if its end is absolutely a superior one, either as being in itself a greater good, or as being of wider scope. on the supposition, however, that the ends of any two orders are the same, then the superiority of one to the other can be gauged, not by the quantity of works they undertake, but by the proportion these bear to the end in view. thus it is that we find introduced into the _conferences of the fathers_[ ] the opinion of s. antony, who preferred that discretion by which a man moderates all things to fasts and watchings and similar observances. the works, then, of the active life are twofold. there is one which springs from the fulness of contemplation: teaching, for example, and preaching. whence s. gregory says[ ]: "it is said of perfect men that on their return from contemplation: _they shall pour forth the memory of thy sweetness._" and this is preferable to simple contemplation. for just as it is a greater thing to shed light than to be full of light, so is it a greater thing to spread abroad the fruits of our contemplation than merely to contemplate. and the second work of the active life is that which wholly consists in external occupation, such as giving alms, receiving guests, etc. and such works are inferior to the works of contemplation, except it be in some case of necessity. consequently, then, those religious orders are in the highest rank which are devoted to teaching and preaching. and these, too, approach most nearly to the perfection of the episcopate; just as in other things, too, the ends of those in the first place are, as s. denis says, close knit to the principles of those in the second place.[ ] the second rank is occupied by those orders which are devoted to contemplation. and the third with those devoted to external works. and in each of these grades there is a certain superiority according as one order aims at acts of a higher order than does another, though of the same class. thus in the works of the active life it is a greater thing to redeem captives than to receive guests; in the contemplative life, too, it is a greater thing to pray than to study. there may also be a certain superiority in this that one is occupied with more of such works than another; or again, that the rules of one are better adapted to the attainment of their end than are those of another. some, however, maintain that the contemplative orders are not superior to the active orders, thus: . in the canon law[ ] it is said: "since the greater good is to be preferred to the less, so, too, the common gain is to be preferred to private gain; and in this sense teaching is rightly preferred to silence, anxious care for others to contemplation, and toil to repose." but that religious order is the better which is directed to the attainment of the greater good. hence it seems that orders which are devoted to an active life are superior to those which aim solely at contemplation. but this decretal speaks of the active life as concerned with the salvation of souls. . all religious orders aim at the perfection of charity. but on those words in the epistle to the hebrews,[ ] _ye have not yet resisted unto blood_, the gloss has: "there is no more perfect charity in this life than that to which the holy martyrs attained, for they strove against sin even _unto blood_." but to strive _unto blood_ belongs to the military religious orders, and they lead an active life. it would seem, then, that these latter are the highest form of religious order. but these military orders are more concerned with shedding the blood of their enemies than with shedding their own, which is the feature of the martyrs. at the same time, there is nothing to preclude these religious from at times winning the crown of martyrdom and thus attaining to a greater height than other religious; just as in some cases active works are to be preferred to contemplation. . lastly, the stricter an order the more perfect it seems to be. but there is nothing to preclude active orders from being stricter in their observance than some contemplative orders. but strictness of observance is not that which is especially commendable in religious life, as s. antony has already told us, and as is also said in isaias[ ]: _is this such a fast as i have chosen, for a man to afflict his soul for a day?_ strictness of observance is, however, made use of in religious orders for the subjection of the flesh; but if such strictness is carried out without discretion there is danger lest it should come to naught, as s. antony says. hence one religious order is not superior to another because its observances are stricter, but because its observances are directed to the end of that order with greater discretion. thus, for example, abstinence from food and drink, which means hunger and thirst, are more efficacious means for preserving chastity than wearing less clothing, which means cold and nakedness; more efficacious, too, than bodily labour. footnotes: [ ] s. luke x. . [ ] _conf._, ii. . [ ] _hom._ v., _on ezechiel_. [ ] _of the divine names_, vii. [ ] _extrav. of regulars and of those who pass to the religious orders_, cap. _licet_. [ ] xii. . [ ] lviii. . index abiding in christ, abraham in limbo, accidents of the holy eucharist, active life, the: its meaning, , , , , ; typified in jacob's vision, ; typified by lia, , , , , , ; two features of the active life, , , ; in what sense it is distinct from the contemplative life, ; how less meritorious than the contemplative life, - ; not preferable to the contemplative life, - ; it involves less sacrifice than the contemplative life, ; in what sense it precedes the contemplative life, , , , - ; how far it is necessary, , , , , ; contrasted with the contemplative life, , ; how far it is more stable than the contemplative life, ; its dangers, , , ; it is a burden super-imposed upon the contemplative life, ; all are not meant for it, , , ; it will not persist after this life, - ; the active life of the angels, ; how far the active life is inferior to the contemplative, - ; occasions when it must be embraced, , , ; the part which the moral virtues play in it, , - ; it is a preparation for the contemplative life, , , , , ; prudence is requisite for it, , - ; how far the teaching life pertains to the active life, - , ; it will pass away, , , - ; it is the purgative way, ; prelates and the active life, active religious orders, they are inferior to the contemplative, - adjure god, in what sense we are said to do so in our prayers, adoration of the cross, _adoro te devote_, the rhythm of st. thomas in honour of the holy eucharist, albert of brescia, o.p., albert the great, blessed, alypius, st. augustine's friend, ambrose, st.: on god as the cause of devotion, ; that the beauty of the soul depends on the moral virtues, andronicus on the meaning of sanctity, angels, the: how they are differentiated from men, , , , ; the knowledge of the angels, , , , , ; the beatific vision of the angels, ; the intelligence of the angels, , ; the intercession of the angels, ; their conformity to the will of god, , ; the angelic hierarchies, , ; the teaching of the angels , ; the active life of the angels, ; we shall be like to the angels, how, , ; angels gird st. thomas, anselm of laudun, antony, st.: a patron against hell-fire, ; on discretion, , areopagite. _cf. s.v._ denis the areopagite aristotle: on the aptitude for virtue, ; on honour, ; that the perfection of the moral virtues lies in their mean, ; on justice, , ; that "reason asks for the best things," ; on the need of temporal things, ; that "each man's life is that which he would wish to share with his friend," ; that "to live is to be," ; on action and contemplation as distinctions in the intellectual life, ; that life is primarily in the vegetative soul, ; on three kinds of lives, ; that knowledge has little to do with the moral virtues, , ; that every act of the intellect may be termed "consideration," ; that the ultimate happiness of man consists in the contemplation of the highest truth, ; of man's dependence on the imagination, ; that motion is the act of a perfect thing, ; on local motion as the chief of bodily motions, ; that delight follows upon a perfect work, ; on the nobility of science, ; that there is no pleasure contrary to that derived from thought, ; on application to the contemplative life, ; that the contemplative life is "beyond man," ; that prudence pertains to active happiness, ; that he who commits adultery to steal is more a thief than an adulterer, ; that prudence is the right mode of procedure in our actions, ; that the ends of the moral virtues are the principles of prudence, ; that the proof of the possession of wisdom is the power to teach, ; eight proofs that the contemplative life is superior to the active, , ; on the better lot, ; that habits produce perfect acts, arius, his error regarding the person of christ, athanasius, st., on the chanting of the psalms, attention: mental, ; in prayer, - ; three kinds of, , , attitudes in prayer, , augustine, st.: st. thomas's kinship with him in doctrine, - ; they are seen in a vision together, ; the breviary hymn to, ; definition of religion, , , ; on _latvia_, ; on _eusebeia_, ; on abiding in christ, ; on the desire of god, ; on prayer for wealth, ; on sacrifice, , ; of true worship, ; of idolatry, ; on the value of external acts in prayer, ; of virginity, ; on "god alone," , , , , , , , ; on the will and the understanding, ; on true grief, ; prayer defined, ; why we should pray, ; on the prayers of the church, ; when we pray we are god's beggars, , ; of those who say "he knows already; why then pray?" ; of the knowledge the dead have of our affairs, ; on shrinking from death, ; on avoidance of hell, ; of the beatific vision, , ; a prayer for continence, ; and for the knowledge of holy scripture, ; it is lawful to pray for what it is lawful to desire, ; on prayer for "sufficiency of life," ; on "seeking first the kingdom of god," ; on prayer "without ceasing," ; of the prayer of desire, , ; his prayer for deliverance from toothache, ; why temporal favours are sometimes not granted, , ; on prayer for others, ; that we cannot here distinguish between the predestinate and the reprobate, ; on the imprecations in holy scripture, , ; on prayer for the wicked, ; on the lord's prayer, that it is the most perfect form of prayer, ; on "our daily bread," , ; "hallowed be thy name," ; "thy kingdom come," ; "thy will be done," ; "forgive us our trespasses," , ; of the lord's prayer and the gifts of the holy spirit, ; of the two versions of the lord's prayer in st. matthew and st. luke, ; on true righteousness, ; on exterior religion, ; on the chanting of the psalter, ; on the prayer of the heart, ; on distractions, - ; on prayer at definite times, ; on the brief prayers of the hermits of old, ; on "much speaking" in prayer, ; that god urges us to pray, , ; that prayer is a gift of god, ; on unheard prayers, , ; on prayers heard in anger, , ; in what sense the prayers of sinners are heard, , ; on the attitudes to be adopted in and of the time and place for prayer, , , ; of the knowledge of the saints in limbo, - ; why the prayers of the saints are heard, ; the contemplative contrasted with the active life, - , ; the three "lives," , ; the "mixed" life, ; of the final possession and vision of god, , , , ; on the use of leisure, ; the claims of the two lives, the active and the contemplative, , ; of the active life, ; of the active life as opposed to the contemplative, ; that every operation of the intellect may be termed "thought," ; of the derivation of the term "speculation," ; of our present perfection, , ; on the pleasures of sense, ; that the contemplation of god is the goal of all our acts, ; that we must use created things as stepping-stones to the things that abide for ever, ; on mary's "better part," , ; on martha and mary, , , ; that in contemplation we do not see god himself, ; the greater the danger in the battle, the greater the joy in the triumph, ; on the transitory nature of our present contemplation, ; on the beauty of the teaching life, ; how the moral virtues remain after death, ; of the repose of contemplation, , ; of his desire for solitude, yet he feels that he must work for others, ; he dare hope for the contemplative life, ; of the higher reason, basil, st.: on distractions, , ; on unheard prayers, beatific vision, the, , , , , , , , , - , beatitude, in what it consists, , , , , , , , , beatitude, a prayer for, beauty, definition of, benedict, st., the vision of, bernard, st.: on the meaning of contemplation, , ; of the steps in contemplation, bestial life, the, birds, the movements of, blood of christ, the, boëthius, on the liberty needful for contemplation, cajetan, o.p., cardinal, , ; on the meaning of religion, ; on the meaning of devotion, , ; on its causes, ; on devotion as opposed to gloom, ; of the "devout female sex," ; of the need of meditation, ; of prayer as the cause of union with god, ; of prayer as a real cause, ; on three points to be considered in prayer, ; on prayer as a sacrifice, ; of the divisions of the lord's prayer, , ; how those in limbo can hear prayers, ; on vocal prayer, , ; on the tone to be employed in saying mass, ; the function of ecclesiastical chant, , ; on attention in recitation of divine office, ; on attention to the words of consecration, , ; of the need of the moral virtues in the contemplative life, ; the parable of the ten virgins, ; on the real object of prayer, canticle of canticles, the, cassian, the conferences of: on st. antony and discretion, , ; on different kinds of prayer, cassiodorus on ps. xxxviii. , cato on respect for parents, ceremonial, the value of, chant of the church, the public, , charity as the principle of religion, . _cf. s.v._ theological virtues "christ, pray for us," why we do not say, , christ, the name of, on the foreheads of christians, chrysostom, st.: the _opus imperfectum in matthæum_ falsely attributed to him, ; on prayer as a conversation with god, ; on prayer for others, ; in public, ; on prayer for sinners, ; on prayer through jesus christ, ; on the zeal of s. paul, church customs, , church, the prayers of the, cicero, on religion, ; on prudence and intellectual quickness, circular movement of the soul, , - cleanness, , _colere_, collect for friday in september ember week, ; for trinity sunday, , compline, st. thomas's devotion at, communion of saints, , conformity to the will of god, consecration, the prayer of the, , , contemplation and the contemplative life: the meaning of _contemplation_, , , , , , , , , , ; it is something beautiful in the soul, ; not purely an affair of the intellect, - , ; its relation to the affective powers, ; the place which reason occupies in contemplation, , , , , , ; the place occupied by the imagination, ; in what sense contemplation involves many acts, - ; how far contemplation may be described according to the three species of motion--circular, direct, and oblique, , - ; contemplation is natural to man, ; it is pleasurable, ; it is primarily concerned with god, , , ; it does not, in this present life, fall on the divine essence as such, - ; its ultimate goal, , , , , , , , , ; its ultimate goal in this life, , ; how it is distinguished from meditation and thought, ; and from speculation, ; four integral parts of contemplation, , ; four phases in it, ; six steps in it, , ; the contemplation of this present life, , , ; not on earth as in heaven, , , , ; it is "beyond man," ; a busy life does not exclude it, ; it is lawful to desire it, ; contemplation and ecstasy, ; four subjects of contemplation, ; the repose of contemplation, in what it consists, , , , , _the contemplative life_: its meaning, , , , ; how it is distinguished from the active life, , , , , ; it is superior to the active life, - ; it is more meritorious than it, - ; its great merit, ; it is prepared for in the active life, , - ; the active life precedes it, - ; the contemplative life directs the active, ; the relation of the contemplative life to the theological virtues, ; and to the moral virtues, - , , , ; it demands temperance, , ; and chastity, which it in turn fosters, , ; it calls for the subjection of the passions, , ; it results in the subjugation of the passions, ; it involves a certain liberty of spirit, , ; it is often distasteful, , ; it means the sacrifice of our own soul, ; its joys, , , - , , ; its combats, , ; it is imperfect here on earth, ; it is not incompatible with prelacy, ; its relation to the office of teaching, - ; it is not meant for all, , , , , , ; reading is sometimes necessary for it, ; how far it refrains from all external actions, ; it is typified by rachel, , , , , ; also by mary of bethany, , , , , , ; it is foreshown in jacob's vision, contemplative religious orders: in what sense they are the best, - contemplatives, continence, a prayer for, conversation, sins of, correction, fraternal, created things must serve as stepping-stones, cross, adoration of the, _cultus_, cyprian, st., on _our_ father, not _my_ father, damascene, st. john: on wonderment, ; definitions of prayer, , , , , dead, prayers for the, , death, fear of, decii, the, defects, the thought of our, causes devotion, , delights, earthly, as opposed to heavenly, , denis the areopagite, ; on sanctity, ; on ecstasy, ; on beginning all with prayer, ; on being co-workers with god, ; of the knowledge of the angels, ; of the harmony in divine things, ; that life implies motion, ; on the three movements of the soul, , - ; of the difference between the angelic and the human intellect, ; that the goal of contemplation is to attain to the uniformity of the divine contemplation, ; that in contemplation here on earth we do not see the divine essence, ; on the illumination of the angels, ; of the divine harmony, desires, their function and necessity, , , devotion: defined, , , , , ; is a special act, ; is due to an act of the will, , ; is an act of the virtue of religion, ; is the principal act of the virtue of religion, ; involves sacrifice of the heart, ; it gives a certain measure to human acts, ; it means promptitude, , , , ; two causes of it, , , ; caused by meditation, ; especially by meditation on the sacred passion, , ; on the goodness of god, , ; on our own defects, , ; obstacles to it, ; how far it may be hindered by learning, ; it is productive of sorrow, - ; but is not therefore to be confounded with gloominess, , ; it produces joy, , ; devotion to the saints, ; the devotion of women, , ; the "devout female sex," direct movement of the soul, the, , - discretion, st. antony on, , distractions, . _cf. s.v._ prayer, distractions in divine office, attention in the recitation of, _dulia_, ecstasy, ; denis the areopagite on, ; that of st. paul, , ejaculatory prayers, , enemies, prayer for, ; love of our, eternity: the "repose" of, , , ; the "silence" of, etymologies, those of st. thomas and st. isidore, eucharist, the holy: the accidents of, ; st. thomas's reception of it as viaticum, ; the "chief" of the sacraments, ; our "daily bread," , ; the rhythm, _adoro te devote_, _eusebeia_, example, the force of, exterior religion, external actions, , extraordinary ways of god, the, faber, father, faith, , faith and vision, fasting, fear, ; the gift of fear, ; fear of death, ; of hell, female sex, the "devout," "forgive us our trespasses," , fossa nuova, frederic, the emperor, friendship, gifts of god, ; of the holy spirit, , gloom, not a characteristic of the saints, , gloss, the, on holy scripture, , god: god alone, , ; in what sense we "adjure" him in our prayers, ; by prayer we become his beggars, , ; he is not changed by our prayers, , ; does not need our external acts of religion, , ; his foreknowledge involves no compulsion, ; his goodness is a reason for prayer, , ; his holiness is a reason for prayer, ; the harmony of divine things, , ; he knows beforehand what we seek, , ; he knows the heart, ; the majesty of god, ; the patience of god, ; we do not pray to him alone, - ; he does not always hear our prayers, , ; why he wishes us to pray, , , , ; he does not profit by our service, ; on seeking after god, , , , , , ; he is the first principle, ; the ultimate end, ; ultimate union with him, , ; union with him, , ; we can hope for it, ; hindrances to it, , ; the vision of god, , , , , , , . _cf. s.v._ beatific vision; the antecedent will of god, _greeks, on the errors of the_, st. thomas's treatise on, gregory the great, st.: on lia as the type of the active life, , , , , ; of martha and mary as types of the active and the contemplative life respectively, ; on attention at prayer, ; on the intercession of the angels, ; on the conformity of the angels to god's will, ; how the prayers of the saints avail, ; that the contemplative life is occupied with god alone, , , ; that contemplation in this life does not attain to the divine essence, , ; that contemplation excludes all images, ; of st. benedict's vision, ; on the true sweetness of contemplation, ; contemplation springs from and leads to love of god, ; on the combats of the contemplative life, ; that knowledge of god brings about the death of all carnal desires, ; of the joys of the spiritual life, , ; on disgust for spiritual things , ; of the active life, , ; on teaching as falling under the active life, ; as due to contemplation, ; that the active life passes away, not so the contemplative life, ; of the contemplation of the angels, ; on the instability of our present contemplation, , ; of the merits of the contemplative life, , ; that those who are superiors can still practise the contemplative life, ; that the active life precedes the contemplative, , , ; of zeal for souls, , ; of the necessity of the active life, ; _contemplata aliis tradere_, ; that the blessed in heaven know our needs, ; not all are called to the contemplative life, , gregory of nyssa, st., of joys and sorrows, gregory x., pope, guidonis, bernard, habits, , harmony of divine things, , harmony of reason, the, heaven: there will be no books in, ; it is our "fatherland," - , holiness, hope, , hugo à st. caro, , hugh of st. victor's: on attention at prayer, ; on intensity, idolatry, images, veneration of, imagination, its function, , imprecations in holy scripture, indulgences, ingratitude, "insinuation" in prayer, intelligence, quickness of, intellect, the noblest part of man, , intention, "intercession" as a part of prayer, intercession of the saints, interior spirit, the true, interpretive prayer, isaias, st. thomas's commentary on, isidore of seville, st.: his etymologies, ; on religion, ; on the word _sanctus_, ; on prayer, jacob's vision, jeremias prays for the people, though he is in limbo, , , jerome, st.: on the error of vigilantius, who said the prayers of the martyrs were not heard, , ; on making "a virtue of necessity," ; on the term "super-substantial" bread, john of st. julian, o.p., john xxii., pope, josias, king of juda, in limbo, joy as an effect of devotion, joys of contemplation, the, - justice, the chief of the moral virtues, , , knowledge, its relation to the moral virtues, _latria_, , , leo the great, st., on the jews, lia, the type of the active life, , , , , liberty of spirit, life: definitions of, , , , ; considered as intellectual, life may be divided into the active and the contemplative, , ; _cf. s.v._ contemplative life and active life; the active and contemplative life compared, - ; the two lives distinguished, - ; their relative order, - ; the "mixed" life, , ; the life of beatitude, ; the bestial life, ; the busy life, ; the civil life, ; the leisurely life, , ; the pleasurable life, ; the life of repose, , ; the life of toil, , ; the voluptuous life, limbo, , - litany of the saints, living for eternity, on, livy on the decii, lombard, peter, lord's prayer, the: the seven petitions of, - ; the most perfect form of prayer, ; distractions in saying it, ; why we say _our_ father, and not _my_ father, ; this prayer is recited in the name of the whole church, ; in what sense we are tied to this restricted form of prayer, , ; the lord's prayer as a subject of meditation, lyons, the council of, st. thomas summoned to it, lyra, nicolas de, his gloss, martyrs: the prayers of the, - ; merits of the martyrs, marvel, what it is to, mass, the: to be said distinctly, ; the prayers of, ; the prayer of the consecration in the mass, , maximus valerius, _on socrates_, meditation, , ; causes devotion, ; produces sadness as well as joy, - ; the need of it, ; not to be neglected for vocal prayer, ; fruitful subjects for, ; meditation on the sacred passion, ; on choosing subtle subjects for meditation, , , melancholy, no fruit of devotion, , merit: definition of, ; source of, ; merits and rewards, ; none in heaven, , ; of the active and contemplative life, - ; the merit of prayer, ; those of the saints, ; how we can merit for others, military religious orders, monica, st., monte cassino, moral acts, their nature, moral virtues, the: justice is the chief of the moral virtues, ; requisites for the moral virtues, ; their place in the contemplative life - ; their function, , , - ; their part in the active life, - ; how far they remain after death, movements of the soul, the three, , - mysticism, - necessity, to make a virtue of, , nestorius's error concerning the person of christ, novelty of st. thomas's teaching, , "obsecration" as a part of prayer, - observance, strictness of, occultism, office, attention at the divine, origen on sanctity, ; on not swearing, passion, meditation on the sacred, , , perfection, peter lombard, philosophy is better than riches, _postillæ_, prayer to st. thomas before study, a, prayer: _defined_, , , , , , , o , , , ; it is an act, ; not an act of the appetitive powers, , , ; it is an act of the virtue of religion, - , ; after devotion, prayer is the highest act of the virtue of religion, ; it is a conversation with god, ; by it we become god's beggars, ; it is peculiar to the rational creation, - ; in what sense the brute creatures pray, ; prayer is a gift from god, ; three requisites for prayer, ; four requisites for prayer, ; the real meaning of "petition," , ; the prayer of desire, , ; in what sense desire is not prayer, , ; prayer is a real cause, , , _why we should pray:_ prayer is reasonable, - , , , ; the merit of prayer, , - ; the effects of prayer, , , , , ; prayer causes union with god, , _errors concerning prayer:_ in general, ; it is not an adjuring of god, ; it never wearies god, , ; "much speaking" in prayer, ; it cannot change god's decrees, , , , , ; it does not "bend" his will, ; god knows beforehand what we would pray for, , , , , _of prayers heard and unheard:_ the condition necessary if our prayers are to be heard, , , , ; of prayers heard in anger, , ; in what sense the prayers of sinners are heard, - ; the prayers of the poor are speedily heard, ; how the prayers of the saints are heard, , ; the prayers of the martyrs and apostles, , ; why prayers are not heard, ; of unheard prayers, ; why our prayers for others are sometimes not heard, ; in what sense the prayers of sinners are heard, - _how we should pray:_ at regular intervals, ; our attitude in prayer, , ; beginning occupations with prayer, ; prayer "without ceasing," , ; attention at prayer, ; three kinds of attention, , ; distractions, , - ; the length of our prayers, - ; hindrances to prayer, ; the recitation of psalms, ; prayer "in spirit and in truth," ; weariness in prayer, _what we should pray for:_ the impetratory value of prayer, , ; what we should pray for in general, , ; for beatitude, - ; prayer for definite things, - ; for "sufficiency of life," ; against death, ; for continence, ; for knowledge of holy scripture, ; for deliverance from toothache, , ; for others, , , , ; for the wicked, ; for the good, ; for our inferiors, ; for temporal blessings, - ; for the predestinate, ; for our enemies, - ; the saints in heaven pray for the resurrection of their bodies, _to whom we should pray:_ not to god alone, - ; to the angels, ; to the saints, - ; to the lesser saints, _who pray for us, and how:_ the angels pray for us, how, ; in what sense the son and the holy spirit are said to pray, , ; how the holy spirit helps our prayers, ; the saints pray for us, - ; how, , , , ; how we merit the prayers of the saints, ; how our prayers are known to the saints, - ; those in limbo prayed for those on earth, ; those in purgatory cannot pray for us, _divers forms of prayer:_ vocal prayer, - ; ejaculatory prayer, , ; prayer in secret, ; prayer of the heart, ; thanksgiving as a part of prayer, ; postulations as a part of prayer, - _the lord's prayer:_ we say not "my father," but "our father," ; the seven petitions of the lord's prayer, - ; the lord's prayer not said without distractions, ; in what sense we are tied to the lord's prayer as a formula, , _the church's prayers:_ in general, , , ; public and private prayers, , , , ; how the prayer "of many" avails, ; the prayer of the consecration at mass, , prelates and contemplative life, prosper, st., the _book of sentences gleaned from st. augustine_, prudence: its relation to the other moral virtues, ; it is requisite for the active life, - purity of soul, purgatory: why the suffrages of the church do not empty it at once, , ; the souls in purgatory do not know our needs, ; neither do they pray for us, , , ; brother romanus passed sixteen days in purgatory, rabanus maurus: his gloss, ; on prayer, rachel, a type of the contemplative life, , , , , , reading necessary for prayer, reason: its function, ; the higher and the lower, ; the speculative and the practical, religion: the virtue of, - ; that it is a virtue, ; definition of, - , , ; its principle is charity, ; it is one virtue, ; and a moral virtue, ; and a special virtue, - ; not a theological virtue, ; the _via media_ in, ; the harmony of, ; is superior to the other moral virtues, ; is not for god's profit, but for ours, ; demands external acts, ; how far it is identified with sanctity, - religious orders, the active and contemplative compared, - religious people, , , ; they are not always saints, reposeful characters, romanus, brother, appears to st. thomas, sacrifice, the real nature of, , , saints, the: what it is to be a saint, ; they are not gloomy, , ; their knowledge of our needs, , - ; their prayers for us, - ; they feel no grief for us on earth, ; their wills are perfectly conformed to that of god, , , , , ; the communion of saints, , ; we ought to pray to them, - ; of devotion to the saints, ; to the lesser saints, , ; they are co-workers with god, ; in what sense their prayers are always heard, , - ; their merits, , ; how they pray for us, , "saint of saints, the," scripture, prayer for knowledge of holy, seneca: on petitions, ; on idolatry, sentences, the book of, , sinners, prayer for: ; the prayers of sinners, - sins of conversation, socrates on prayer, solicitude, how far it is forbidden, sorrow, as an effect of devotion, , speculation, spirit, the holy, how he helps us to pray, "spirit and truth," prayer in, , spiritualism, stability implied in the notion of sanctity, strabo, walafrid, his gloss, strictness of life not an end in itself, "sufficiency of life," prayer for, suffrages for the dead, , _summa theologica_: the broad divisions of, , ; the method employed in, , ; the _tertia pars_, superiors and contemplation, supererogation, works of, superstition, supersubstantial bread, supplications as a part of prayer, swearing, origen on, teaching: in what it consists, , ; due to contemplation, ; how far it belongs to the active life, - ; the beauty of the teaching life, ; how the angels teach, temperance: a necessity for the contemplative life, , ; how far it is identical with sanctity, temporal things: the part they play in our life, ; they are "stepping-stones" to heaven, ; how far they may be asked for, - thanksgivings as part of prayer, theological virtues, the, - , , _theosebeia_, thomas aquinas, st.: born at rocca secca, ; his early occupation with divine things, ; goes to monte cassino, ; to naples university, ; receives the habit of the friars preachers, ; is sent to santa sabina, ; is imprisoned, and studies the bible, the _sentences_, and the philosophy of aristotle, ; is created bachelor in theology, ; the novelty of his teaching, , ; created master in theology, ; says he would prefer to possess st. chrysostom's commentaries on the gospel according to st. matthew to the possession of the city of paris, ; hears from our lord's lips, _bene scripsisti de me, thoma_, ; his three petitions, ; his prayer before study, - ; is visited by st. peter and st. paul, who explain to him a passage of isaias, ; brother romanus appears to him, ; his approaching end is revealed to him, , ; the crucifix speaks to him, ; he ceases to write, ; his emotion on hearing the words, _ne projicias nos_, sung, ; is summoned to the council of lyons, ; his faith in the holy eucharist, , ; his dying words, ; his rhythm, _adoro te devote_, ; the method of his teaching, ; his teaching is regarded as miraculous, ; his use of the works of the fathers, , , ; his teaching and that of st. augustine, - ; his self-effacement, tocco, william of, biographer of st. thomas, _note_, , , , , toothache: st. thomas's deliverance from it, ; st. augustine's deliverance from it, trinity, the holy: how to pray to, ; the _collect_ for trinity sunday, union with god, , , . _cf. s.v._ god valgornera, _theologia mystica_, _via media_ in religion, vigilantius's errors regarding prayer, , virginity, virgins, the five wise and the five foolish, virtue: definition of, ; its praiseworthy character, ; it lies in the will, walafrid strabo, his gloss, will: the object of the, ; its functions, , ; the part it plays in the contemplative life, - women, the natural devotion of, worship: in what it consists, zeal for souls, , index of texts quoted or explained genesis. xxix. ; xxxii. - ; , exodus. iii. ; iii. ; xiii. ; xix. ; , xx. - ; xxxv. , ; kings. i. ; xv. ; kings. vii. ; kings. xviii. ; kings. xxii. ; paralipomenon. xxix. ; job. v. ; , xiv. ; xvi. - ; xxxi. ; xxxi. ; psalms. v. ; vi. ; vi. ; x. ; xv. ; xv. ; xv. , ; xv. ; xv. ; xvi. - ; xxiv. - ; xxvi. ; , , xxvi. ; xxvi. ; xxxii. , ; xxxiii. ; , xxxiv. ; , xxxv. ; xxxvi. - ; xxxvii. ; xxxviii. ; xxxviii. ; , xxxix. ; xli. ; xli. - ; xlv. ; , xlvii. ; xlvii. , , ; xlix. ; l. ; liv. - ; liv. ; lvii. ; lviii. ; lxv. - ; lxvi.; lxx. , ; lxx. ; lxxii. - ; lxxii. ; lxxv. , ; lxxvi. ; lxxvi. ; lxxix. ; lxxxiii. ; lxxxiii. ; lxxxv. - ; xciv. ; xcvi. ; cii. - ; ciii. , ; cxviii. ; cxviii. ; cxx. , ; cxx. ; cxxxviii. ; cxl. ; cxli. ; cxlii. - ; cxlii. , ; cxliii. ; cxliv. ; cxlv. ; cxlvi. ; proverbs. xxviii. ; xxx. ; ecclesiastes. vii. ; wisdom. vii. ; viii. ; viii. ; , , ix. ; , xv. - ; ecclesiasticus. xxviii. ; xxx. ; xxxvi. - ; xxxvi. - ; xli. - ; xliii. ; isaias. xii. - ; xxv. , ; xxvi. , , , ; xxxii. ; xxxiii. - ; xlvi. ; lviii. ; lxiii. , ; , lxiv. , ; lxv. ; jeremias. vii. ; xiv. , ; xv. ; , xxxi. ; lamentations. iii. ; daniel. ix. ; ix. , ; x. , ; osee. xiv. ; habacuc. ii. ; malachi. i. ; iii. ; maccabees xv. ; , st. matthew. v. ; v. ; vi. ; vi. ; vi. ; vi. ; vi. - ; vi. ; vi. ; vi. ; vii. ; xviii. ; , xxii. ; xxv. , ; st. luke. i. ; i. , ; vi. ; vi. ; ix. ; x. ; x. ; x. ; , x. ; , , , x. ; xi. - ; , xv. - ; xviii. ; , , xxii. ; st. john. iv. ; , , v. ; ix. ; xi. ; xiv. ; xiv. ; xvi. ; xvii. - ; , xvii. ; xix. - ; xxi. ; acts. vii. ; xv. ; xx. ; romans. i. ; , vii. ; viii. ; , , viii. ; viii. , ; ix. ; xiii. ; xv. ; xv. ; , corinthians. i. ; iii. ; iv. ; vi. , ; ix. ; x. ; xii. ; xiii. ; xiii. ; , xiv. ; xiv. ; corinthians. iii. ; iv. ; v. ; v. , ; v. ; x. ; xii. - ; galatians. iv. ; v. ; ephesians. i. ; iv. , ; philippians. iii. ; iv. ; colossians. iii. , ; thessalonians. v. ; , , timothy. i. ; ii. ; , ii. ; timothy. iii. ; hebrews. iii., iv., v.; vii. ; x. ; xii. ; xii. ; , st. james. i. ; i. ; iv. ; v. ; st. john. iii. ; , , iv. ; v. ; apocalypse. vi. ; , vi. ; viii. ; xv. ; xxii. ; the end _printed in england_