The works of Mr. John Oldham, together with his Remains Works. 1684 Oldham, John, 1653-1683. 1684 Approx. 635 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 338 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A53278 Wing O225 ESTC R5199 12025033 ocm 12025033 52622 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A53278) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 52622) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 573:1) The works of Mr. John Oldham, together with his Remains Works. 1684 Oldham, John, 1653-1683. Ovid, 43 B.C.-17 or 18 A.D. Metamorphoses. 4 pts. ([8], 148; [8], 134; [6], 215; [24], 130 p.) Printed for Jo. Hindmarsh ..., London : 1684. First collected edition. Each of the titles in this volume has a special t.p. Reproduction of original in Cambridge University Library. Satyrs upon the Jesuits -- Some new pieces never before published -- Poems and translations -- Remains of Mr. John Oldham in verse and prose. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Morwent, Charles, 1654 or 5-ca. 1674. Jesuits -- Humor. 2002-12 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-12 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-01 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2003-01 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE WORKS OF Mr. JOHN OLDHAM , Together with his REMAINS . LONDON : Printed for Jo. Hindmarsh , Bookseller to his Royal Highness , at the Black Bull in Cornhil , 1684 CONTENTS . Book I. PRologue to the Satyr upon the Jesuits . Page 1 The first Satyr . Garnet's Ghost addressing to the Jesuits met in private Cabal after the Murder of Godfrey . 5 The Second Satyr . 24 The Third Satyr . Loyola's Will. 39 The Fourth Satyr . S. Ignatius's Image brought in , discovering the Rogueries of the Jesuits , and ridiculous Superstition of the Church of Rome . 74 The Satyr against Vertue . Pindarique Ode 93 An Apology for the foregoing Ode by way of Epilog . 111 The Passion of Byblis out of Ovid's Metamorphosis imitated in English. 119 Upon a Woman who by her Falshood and Scorn was the Death of his Friend . A Satyr . 139 Book II. Horace his Art of Poetry imitated in English. 1 An Imitation of Horace . Book I. Satyr 9. 43 Paraphrase upon Horace . Boook I. Ode 13. 54 Paraphrase upon Horace . Book II. Ode 14. 58 The Praise of Homer . Pindarique Ode . 62 The Lamentation for Adonis imitated out of the Greek of Bion of Smyrna , Pastoral . Bion , A Pastoral in imitation of the Greek of Moschus , bewailing the Death of the Earl of Rochester . 73 Paraphrase upon the 137 Psalm . Pindarique Ode . 99 Paraphrase upon the Hymn of S. Amb. Pindariq . Ode 107 A Letter out of the Country to a Friend in Town , giving an account of the Author's inclination to Poetry . 118 Upon a Printer , that expos'd him by printing a Piece of his grosly mangled and faulty . A Satyr 131 Book III. Monsieur Boileau's Satyr upon Man , imitated 1 Juvenal's thirteenth Satyr , imitated 25 David's Lamentation for the Death of Saul and Jonathan , paraphras'd . Ode 49 The Ode of Aristotle in Athenaeus , paraphrased 66 Upon the Works of Ben. Johnson . Ode 69 The Ninth Ode of the third Book of Horace , imitated 87 Upon a Lady , who by overturning of a Coach had her Coats behind flung up , and what was under shewn to the view of the Company 90 Catullus , Epigram 7. imitated 97 The fourth Elegy of the second Book of Ovid's Amours , imitated 99 The Fifth Elegy of the same Book , imitated 104 The Tenth Elegy of the same Book , imitated 110 A Fragment of Petronius , paraphrased 114 An Ode of Anacreon , paraphrased 116 An Allusion to Martial , Book I. Epigr. 118. 120 The Dream , an Elegy 122 A Satyr , touching Nobility . Out of French 127 A Satyr , addressed to a Friend that is about to leave the University and come abroad in the World 137 Presenting a Book to Cosmelia . Elegy 149 The Parting . Elegy 153 Complaining of Absence . Elegy 156 Promising a Visit. Elegy 158 The careless Good Fellow . Song 160 A Satyr concerning Poetry 164 The Third Satyr of Juvenal , imitated 180 A Dithyrambick . The Drunkards Speech in a Mask 260 REMAINS . Counterpart to the Satvr against Vertue , 1 Virg. Eclogue VIII . The Enchantment 13 To Madam L. E. upon her Recovery from a fit of Sickness 22 On the Death of Mrs. Katharine Kingscourt , a Child of excellent Parts and Piety 31 A Sunday-Thought in Sickness 34 To the Memory of Mr. Charles Morwent 49 To the Memory of that worthy Gentleman M. Harman Atwood 95 SATYRS UPON THE JESUITS : Written in the YEAR 1679. And some other PIECES By the same HAND . The Third Edition Corrected . LONDON : Printed for Joseph Hindmarsh , at the Black Bull in Cornhill . 1685. Advertisement . THE Author might here ( according to the laudible custom of Prefaces ) entertain the Reader with a Discourse of the Original , Progress , and Rules of Satyr , and let him understand , that he has lately Read Casaubon , and several other Criticks upon the Point ; but at present he is minded to wave it , as a vanity he is in no wise fond of . His only intent now is to give a brief account of what he Publishes , in order to prevent what Censures he foresees may coulourably be past thereupon : And that is , as followeth : What he calls the Prologue , is in imitation of Persius , who has prefix'd somewhat by that Name before his Book of Satyrs , and may serve for a pretty good Authority . The first Satyr he drew by Sylla's Ghost in the great Johnson , which may be perceived by some strokes and touches therein , however short they come of the Original . In the second , he only followed the swinge of his own 〈◊〉 . The Design , and some Passages of the Franciscan of Buchanan . Which ingenious confession he thinks fit to make , to shew he has more modesty than the common Padders in Wit of these times . He doubts , there may be some few mistakes in Chronology therein , which for want of Books he could ●…ot inform himself in . If the skilful Reader meet with any such , he may the more easily pardon them upon that score . Whence he had the hint of the fourth , is obvious to all , that are any thing acquainted with Horace . And without the Authority of so great a President , the making of an Image speak , is but an ordinary Miracle in Poetry . He expects , that some will tax him of Buffoonery , and turning holy things into ridicule . But le●… them Read , how severely Arnobius , Lactantius , Minutius Felix , and the gravest Fathers ; have railly'd the fopperies and superstitions of the Heathen , and then consider whether those , which he has chosen for his Argument , are not as worthy of laughter . The only difference is that they did it in Prose , as he does in Verse , where perhaps 't is the more allowable . As for the next Poem ( which is the most liable to censure ) tho the world has given it the Name of the Satyr against Vertue , he declares 't was never design'd to that intent , how apt soever some may be to wrest it . And this appears by what is said after it , and is discernable enough to all , that have the sense to understand it , 'T was meant to abuse those , who valued themselves upon their Wit and Parts , in praising Vice , and to shew , that others of sober Principles , if they would take the same liberty in Poetry , could strain as high rants in Profaneness as they . At first he intended it not for the publick , nor to pass beyond the privacy of two or three Friends , but seeing it had the Fate to steal abroad in Manuscript , and afterwards in Print , without his knowledg , he now thinks it a Justice due to his own Reputation , to have it come forth without those faults , which it has suffered from Transcribers and the Press hitherto , and which make it a worse Satyr upon himself , than upon what it was design'd . Something should be said too of the last Trifle , if it were worth it . 'T was occasioned upon reading the late Translations of Ovid 's Epistles , which gave him a mind to try what he could do upon a like Subject . Those being already forestall'd , he thought fit to make choice of the same Poet , whereon perhaps he has taken too much liberty . Had he seen Mr. Sandys his Translation before he began , he never durst have ventured : Since he has , and finds reason enough to despair of his undertaking . But now 't is done , he is loth to burn it , and chuses rather to give somebody else the trouble . The Reader may do as he pleases , either like it , or put it to the use of Mr. Jordan 's Works . 'T is the first attempt , he ever made in this kind , and likely enough to be the last , his vein ( if he may be thought to have any ) lying another way . SATYRS UPON THE JESUITS . PROLOGUE FOR who can longer hold ? when every Press , The Bar and Pulpit too has broke the Peace ? When every scribling Fool at the alarms Has drawn his Pen , and rises up in Arms ? And not a dull Pretender of the Town , But vents his gall in Pamphlet up and down ? When all with licence rail , and who will not , Must be almost suspected of the PLOT , And bring his Zeal , or else his Parts in doubt ? In vain our Preaching Tribe attack the Foes , In vain their weak Artillery oppose : Mistaken honest men , who gravely blame , And hope that gentle Doctrine should reclaim . Are Texts , and such exploded trifles fit T' impose , and sham upon a Jesuit ? Would they the dull Old Fisher men compare With mighty Suarez , and great Escobar ? Such thred-bare proofs , and stale Authorities May Us poor simple Hereticks suffice : But to a sear'd Ignatian's Conscience , Harden'd , as his own Face , with Impudence , Whose Faith in contradiction bore , whom Lies , Nor non-sense , nor Impossibilities , Nor shame , nor death , nor damning can assail : Not these mild fruitless methods will avail . 'T is pointed Satyr , and the sharps of Wit For such a prize are th' only Weapons fit : Nor needs there Art , or Genius here to use , Where Indignation can create a m●…e : Should Parts , and Nature fail , yet very spite Would make the arrant'st Wild , or Withers write . It is resolv'd : hence forth an endless War , I and my Muse with them , and theirs declare ; Whom neither open M●…lice of the Foes , Nor private Daggers , nor St. Omer's Dose , Nor all , that Godfrey felt , or Monarchs fear , Shall from my vow'd , and sworn revenge deter . Sooner shall false Court Favourites prove just ; And faithful to their Kings , and Countrys trust : Sooner shall they detect the tricks of State , And knav'ry , suits , and bribes , and flatt'ry hate : Bawds shall turn Nuns , Salt D — s grow chast ; And Paint , and Pride , and Lechery detest : Popes shall for Kings Supremacy decide , And Cardinals for Huguenots be try'd : Sooner ( which is the great'st impossible ) Shall the vile Brood of Loyola , and Hell Give o're to Plot , be Villains , and Rebel ; Than I with utmost spite , and vengeance cease To prosecute , and plague their cursed race . The rage of Poets damn'd , of Womens Pride Contemn'd , and scorn'd , or proffer'd lust denied : The malice of Religious angry Zeal , And all , cashier'd resenting Statesmen feel : What prompts dire Hags in their own blood to write And sell their very souls to Hell for spite : All this urge on my rank envenom'd spleen , And with keen Satyr edg my stabbing Pen : That its each home-set thrust their blood may draw , Each drop of Ink like Aquafortis gnaw . Red hot with vengeance thus , I 'll brand disgrace So deep , no time shall e're the marks deface : Till my severe , and exemplary doom Spread wider than their guilt , till it become More dreaded than the Bor , and frighten worse Than damning Pope's Anathema's , and curse . SATYR I. Garnet's Ghost addressing to the Jesuits , met in private Cabal just after the Murder of Godfrey . BY Hell 't was bravely done ! what less than this ? What Sacrifice of meaner worth , and price Could we have offer'd up for our success ? So fare all they , who e're provoke our hate , Who by like ways presume to tempt their fate ; Fare each like this bold medling Fool , and be As well secur'd , as well dispatch'd as he : Would he were here , yet warm , that we might drain His reaking gore , and drink up ev'ry vein ! That were a glorious sanction , much like thine . Great Roman ! made upon a like design : Like thine ; we scorn so mean a Sacrament , To seal , and consecrate our high intent , We scorn base Blood should our great League cement : Thou didst it with a slave , but we think good To bind our Treason with a bleeding God. Would it were His ( why should I fear to name , Or you to hear 't ? ) at which we nobly aim Lives yet that hated en'my of our Cause ? Lives He our mighty projects to oppose ? Can His weak innocence , and Heaven's care Be thought security from what we dare ? Are you then Jesuits ? are you so for nought ? In all the Catholick depths of Treason taught ? In orthodox , and solid pois'ning read ? In each profounder art of killing bred ? And can you fail , or bungle in your trade ? Shall one poor life your cowardize upbraid ? Tame dastard slaves ! who your profession shame , And fix disgrace on our great Founder's name . Think what late Sect'ries ( an ignoble crew , Not worthy to be rank'd in sin with you ) Inspir'd with lofty wickedness , durst do : How from his Throne they hurl'd a Monarch down , Aud doubly eas'd him of both Life , and Crown : They scorn'd in covert their bold act to hide , In open face of Heav'n the work they did , And brav'd its vengeance , and its pow'rs defi'd . This is his Son , and mortal too like him , Durst you usurp the glory of the crime ; And dare ye not ? I know , you scorn to be By such as they , out-done in villany , Your proper province ; true , you urg'd them on , Were engins in the fact , but they alone Share all the open credit , and renown . But hold ! I wrong our Church , and Cause , which need No forein instance , nor what others did : Think on that matchless Assassin , whose name We with just pride can make our happy claim ; He , who at killing of an Emperor , To give his poison stronger force , and pow'r Mixt a God with 't , and made it work more sure : Blest memory ! which shall through Age to come Stand sacred in the Lists of Hell , and Rome . Let our great Clement , and Ravillac's name , Your Spirits to like heights of sin inflame ; Those mighty Souls , who bravely chose to die T' have each a Royal Ghost their company . Heroick Act ! and worth their tortures well , Well worth the suff'ring of a double Hell , That , they felt here , and that below , they feel . And if these cannot move you , as they shou'd , Let me , and my example fire your blood : Think on my vast attempt , a glorious deed , Which durst the Fates have suffer'd to succeed , Had rival'd Hells most proud exploit , and boast , Ev'n that , which wou'd the King of Fates depos'd , Curst be the day , and ne're in time inrol'd , And curst the Star , whose spiteful influence rul'd The luckless Minute , which my project spoil'd : Curse on that Pow'r , who , of himself afraid , My glory with my brave design betray'd : Justly he fear'd , lest I , who strook so high In guilt , should next blow up his Realm , and Sky : And so I had ; at least I would have durst , And failing , had got off with Fame at worst . Had you but half my bravery in Sin , Your work had never thus unfinish'd bin : Had I bin Man , and the great Act to do ; H 'ad dy'd by this , and bin what I am now , Or what His Father is : I would leap Hell To reach His Life , tho in the midst I fell , And deeper than before . — Let rabble Souls , of narrow aim , and reach , Stoop their vile Necks , and dull Obedience preach : Let them with slavish aw ( disdain'd by me ) Adore the purple Rag of Majesty , And think 't a sacred Relick of the Sky : Well may such Fools a base Subjection own , Vassals to every Ass , that loads a Throne : Unlike the soul , with which proud I was born , Who could that sneaking thing a Monarch scorn , Spurn off a Crown , and set my foot in sport Upon the head , that wore it , trod in dirt . But say , what is 't that binds your hands ? do's fear From such a glorious action you deter ? Or is 't Religion ? but you sure disclaim That frivolous pretence , that empty name : Meer bugbear word , devis'd by Us to scare The sensless rout to slavishness , and fear , Ne're know to aw the brave , and those , that dare . Such weak , and feeble things may serve for checks To rein , and curb base-mettled Hereticks ; Dull creatures , whose nice bogling consciences Startle , or strain at such slight crimes as these ; Such , whom fond inbred honesty befools , Or that old musty piece the Bible gulls : That hated Book , the bulwark of our foes , Whereby they still uphold their tott'ring cause . Let no such toys mislead you from the road Of glory , nor infect your Souls with good : Let never bold incroaching Virtue dare With her grim holy face to enter there , No , not in very Dream : have only will Like Fiends , and Me to covet , and act ill : Let true substantial wickedness take place ; Usurp , and Reign ; let it the very trace ( If any yet be left ) of good deface . If ever qualms of inward cowardice ( The things , which some dull sots call conscience ) rise , Let them in streams of Blood , and slaughter drown , Or with new weights of guilt still press 'em down . Shame , Faith , Religion , Honor , Loyalty , Nature it self , whatever checks there be To loose , and uncontrol'd impiety , Be all extinct in you ; own no remorse But that you 've balk'd a sin , have been no worse , Or too much pity shewn . — . Be diligent in Mischiefs Trade , be each Performing as a Dev'l ; nor stick to reach At Crimes most dangerous ; where bold despair , Mad lust , and heedless blind revenge would ne're Ev'n look , march you without a blush , or fear , Inflam'd by all the hazards , , that oppose , And firm , as burning Martyrs , to your Cause . Then you 're true Jesuits , then you 're fit to be Disciples of great Loyola , and Me : Worthy to undertake , worthy a Plot , Like this , and fit to scourge an Huguenot . Plagues on that Name ! may swift confusion seize , And utterly blot out the cursed Race : Thrice damn'd be that Apostate Monk , from whom Sprung first these Enemies of Us , and Rome : Whose pois'nous Filth , dropt from ingend'ring Brain , By monstrous Birth did the vile Insects spawn , Which now infest each Country , and defile With their o'respreading swarms this goodly I le , Once it was ours , and subject to our Yoke , Till a late reigning Witch th' Enchantment broke : It shall again : Hell and I say 't : have ye But courage to make good the Prophesie : Not Fate it self shall hinder . — Too sparing was the time , too mild the day , When our great Mary bore the English sway ? Unqueen-like pity marr'd her Royal Pow'r , Nor was her Purple dy'd enough in Gore . Four , or five hundred , such like petty sum Might fall perhaps a Sacrifice to Rome , Scarce worth the naming : had I had the Pow'r , Or been thought fit t' have been her Counsellor , She shou'd have rais'd it to a nobler score . Big Bonfires should have blaz'd , and shone each day , To tell our Triumphs , and make bright our way : And when 't was dark , in every Lane , and Street Thick flaming Hereticks should serve to light And save the needless Charge of Links by night : Smithfield should still have kept a constant fire , Which never should be quench'd , never expire , But with the lives of all the miscreant rout , Till the last gasping breath had blown it out . So Nero did , such was the prudent course Taken by all his mighty Successors , To tame like Hereticks of old by force : They scorn'd dull reason , and pedantick rules To conquer , and reduce the harden'd Fools : Racks , Gibbets , Halters were their arguments , Which did most undeniably convince : Grave bearded Lions manag'd the dispute , And reverend Bears their Doctrines did consute : And all , who would stand out in stiff defence , They gently claw'd , and worried into sense : Better than all our Sorbon dotards now , Who would by dint of words our Foes subdue . This was the rigid Discipline of old , Which modern sots for Persecution hold : Of which dull Annalists in story tell Strange Legends , and huge bulky Volumes swell With Martyr'd Fools , that lost their way to Hell. From these , our Church's glorious Ancestors , We 've learnt our arts , and made their Methods ours : Nor have we come behind , the least degree , In acts of rough and manly cruelty : Converting Faggots , and the pow'rful stake , And Sword resistless our Apostles make . This heretofore Bohemia felt , and thus Were all the num'rous Proselytes of Huss Crush'd with their head : So Waldo's cursed rout , And those of Wickliff here were rooted out , Their names scarce left . — Sure were the means , we chose , And wrought prevailingly : Fire purg'd the dross Of those foul Heresies , and sovereign Steel Lopt off th' infected Limbs the Church to heal . Renown'd was that French Brave , renown'd his deed , A deed , for which the day deserves its red Far more than for a paltry Saint , that died : How goodly was the Sight ! how fine the Show When Paris saw through all its Channels flow The blood of Huguenots ; when the full Sein , Swell'd with the flood , its Banks with joy o're-ran ! He scorn'd like common Murderers to deal By parcels , and piecemeal ; he scorn'd Retail I' th' Tra●…e of Death : whole Myriads died by th' great , Soon as one single life ; so quick their Fate , Their very Pray'rs , and Wishes came too late . This a King did : and great , and mighty ' t was . Worthy his high Degree , and Pow'r , and Place , And worthy our Religion , and our Cause : Unmatch'd ' thad been , had not Mac-quire arose , The bold Mac-quire ( who , read in modern Fame , Can be a Stranger to his Worth , and Name ? ) Born to out-sin a Monarch , born to Reign In Guilt , and all Competitors disdain : Dread memory ! whose each mention still can make Pale Hereticks with trembling Horror quake . T' undo a Kingdom , to atchieve a crime Like his ; who would not fall and die like him ? Never had Rome a nobler service done , Never had Hell ; each day came thronging down Vast shoals of Ghosts , and mine was pleas'd , & glad , And smil'd , when it the brave revenge survey'd . Nor do I mention these great Instances For bounds , and limits to your wickedness : Dare you beyond , something out of the road Of all example , where none yet have trod , Nor shall hereafter : what mad Catiline Durst never think , nor 's madder Poet feign . Make the poor baffled Pagan Fool confess , How much a Christian Crime can conquer his : How far in gallant mischief overcome , The old must yield to new , and modern Rome . Mix Ills past , present , future , in one act ; One high , one brave , one great , one glorious Fact , Which Hell , and very I may envy — Such as a God himself might wish to be A Complice in the mighty villany And barter's Heaven , and vouchsafe to die . Nor let Delay ( the bane of Enterprize ) Marr yours , or make the great importance miss . This fact has wak'd your Enemies , and their fear ; Let it your vigour too , your haste , and care . Be swift , and let your deeds forestall intent , Forestall ev'n wishes , e're they can take vent , Nor give the Fates the leisure to prevent . Let the full Clouds , which a long time did wrap Your gath'ring thunder , now with sudden clap . Break out upon your Foes ; dash , and confound , And spread avoidless ruin all around . Let the fir'd City to your Plot give light ; You raz'd it half before , now raze it quite . Do 't more effectually ; I 'd see it glow In flames unquenchable as those below . I 'd see the Miscreants with their houses burn , And all together into ashes turn . Bend next your fury to the curst Divan ; That damn'd Committee , whom the Fates ordain Of all our well-laid Plots to be the bane . Unkennel those State Foxes , where they lie Working your speedy fate , and destiny . Lug by the ears the doting Prelates thence ; Dash Heresie together with their Brains Out of their shatter'd heads . Lop off the Lords And Commons at one stroke , and let your Swords Adjourn 'em all to th' other World — Would I were blest with flesh and blood again , But to be Actor in that happy Scene ! Yet thus I will be by , and glut my view , Revenge shall take its fill , in state I 'll go With captive Ghosts t' attend me down below . Let these the Handsells of your vengeance be , But stop not here , nor flag in cruelty . Kill like a Plague , or Inquisition ; spare No Age , Degree , or Sex ; only to wear A Soul , only to own a Life , be here Thought crime enough to lose 't : no time , nor place Be Sanctuary from your outrages . Spare not in Churches kneeling Priests at pray'r , Tho interceding for you , slay ev'n there . Spare not young Infants smiling at the breast , Who from relenting Fools their mercy wrest : Rip teeming Wombs , tear out the hated Brood . From thence , & drown 'em in their Mothers blood . Pity not Virgins , nor their tender cries , Tho prostrate at your feet with melting eyes All drown'd in tears ; strike home , as 't were in lust , And force their begging hands to guide the thrust . Ravish at th' Altar , kill when you have done , Make them your Rapes , and Victims too in one . Nor l●…t gray hoary hairs protection give To Age , just crawling on the verge of Life : Snatch from its leaning hands the weak support , And with it knock't into the grave with sport ; Brain the poor Cripple with his Crutch , then cry , You 've kindly rid him of his misery . Seal up your ears to Mercy , lest their words Should tempt a pity , ram 'em with your Swords ( Their tongues too ) down their throats ; let 'em not dare To mutter for their Souls a gasping Pray'r , But in the utt'rance choak't , and stab it there . 'T were witty handsom Malice ( could you do 't ) To make 'em die , and make 'em damn'd to boot . Make Children by one Fate with Parents die , Kill ev'n revenge in next Posterity : So you 'll be pester'd with no Orphans cries , No Childless Mothers curse your Memories . Make Death , and Desolation swim in blood Throughout the Land , with nought to stop the flood But slaughter'd Carcasses ; till the whole Isle Become one tomb , become one fun'ral pile ; Till such vast numbers swell the countless summ , That the wide Grave , and wider Hell want room . Great was that Tyrants wish , which should be mine , Did I not scorn the leavings of a sin ; Freely I would bestow 't on England now , That the whole Nation with one neck might grow . To be slie'd off , and you to give the blow . What neither Saxon rage could here inflict , Nor Danes more savage , nor the barb'rous Pict ; What Spain , nor Eighty Eight could ere devise , With all its Fleet , and freight os cruelties ; What ne'er Medina wish'd , much less could dare , And bloodier Alva would with trembling hear ; What may strike out dire Prodigies of old , And make their mild , and gentler acts untold . What Heav'ns Judgments , nor the angry Stars , Foreign Invasions , nor Domestick Wars , Plague , Fire , nor Famine could effect or do ; All this , and more be dar'd , and done by you . But why do I with idle talk delay Your hands , and while they should be acting , stay ? Farewell If I may wast a Pray'r for your success , Hell be your aid , and your high projects bless ! May that vile Wretch , if any here there be , That meanly shrinks from brave Iniquity ; If any here feel pity , or remorse , May he feel all ▪ I've bid you act , and worse ! May he by rage of Foes unpitied fall , And they tread out his hated Soul to Hell. May's Name , and Carcase rot , expos'd alike to be The everlasting mark of grinning Infamy . SATYR II. NAy , if our sins are grown so high of late , That Heav'n no longer can adjourn ourfate ; May 't please some milder Vengeance to devise , Plague , Fire , Sword , Dearth , or any thing but this . Let it rain scalding Showers of Brimstone down , To burn us , and of old the lustful Town : Let a new deluge overwhelm agen , And drown at once our Land , our Lives , our Sin. Thus gladly we 'll compound , all this we 'll pay , To have this worst of Ills remov'd away . Judgments of other kinds are often sent In mercy only , not for punishment : But where these light , they shew a Nation 's fate Is given up , and past for reprobate . When God his stock of wrath on Egypt spent , To make a stubborn Land , and King repent , Sparing the rest , had he this one Plague sent ; For this alone his People had been quit , And Pharaoh circumcis'd a Proselyte . Wonder no longer why no Curse , like these , Was known , or suffer'd in the Primitive days : They never sinn'd enough to merit it , 'T was therefore what Heav'ns just pow'r thought fit , To scourge this latter , and more sinful age With all the dregs , and squeesings of his rage . Too dearly is proud Spain with England quit For all her loss sustein'd in Eighty Eight ; For all the Ills , our Warlike Virgin wrought , Or Drake , and Rawleigh her great Scourges brought . Amply was she reveng'd in that one birth , When Hell for her the Biscain Plague brought forth ; Great Counter-plague ! in which unhappy we Pay back her suff'rings with full usury : Than whom alone none ever was design'd T' entail a wider curse on Human kind , But he , who first begot us , and first sin'd . Happy the World had been , and happy Thou , ( Less damn'd at least , and less accurst than now ) If early with less guilt in War th'hadst dy'd , And from ensuing mischiefs Mankind freed . Or when thou view'dst the Holy Land , and Tomb , Th'had'st suffer'd there thy brother Traitor's doom . Curst be the womb , that with the Firebrand teem'd , Which ever since has the whole Globe inflam'd ; More curst that ill-aim'd Shot , which basely mist , Which maim'd a limb , but spar'd thy hated breast , And made th' at once a Cripple , and a Priest. But why this wish ? The Church if so might lack Champions , good works , and Saints for th' Almanack . These are the Janizaries of the Cause , The Life-Guard of the Roman Sultan , chose To break the force of Huguenots , and Foes . The Churches Hawkers in Divinity . Who ' stead of Lace , and Ribbons , Doctrine cry : Rome's Strowlers , who survey each Continent , Its trinkets , and commodities to vent . Export the Gospel , like mere ware , for sale , And truck't for Indigo , and Cutch●…neal . As the known Factors here , the Brethron , once Swopt Christ about for Bodkins , Rings , and Spoons . And shall these great Apostles be contemn'd , And thus by scoffing Hereticks defam'd ? They , by whose means both Indies now enjoy The two choice Blessings , Pox and Popery ? Which buried else in ignorance had been , Nor known the worth of Beads , and Bellarmine ? It pitied holy Mother Church to see A World so drown'd in gross Idolatry : It griev'd to see such goodly Nations hold Bad Errors and unpardonable Gold. Strange ! what a zeal can powerful Coin infuse ! What Charity Pieces of Eight produee ! So you were chosen th' fittest to reclaim The Pagan World , and give 't a Christian Name . And great was the success ; whole Myriads stood At Font , and were baptis'd in their own blood . Millions of Souls were hurl'd from hence to burn Before their time , be damn'd before their turn . Yet these were in compassion sent to Hell , The rest reserv'd in spite , and worse to feel , Compell'd instead of Fiends to worship you , The more inhumane Devils of the two . Rare way , and method of Conversion this , To make your Votaries your Sacrifice ! If to destroy be Reformation thought ; A Plague as well might the good work have wrought . Now see we why your Founder , weary grown Would lay his former Trade of Killing down ; He found 't was dull , he found a Crown would be A fitter case , and badge of cruelty . Each sniv'lling Hero Seas of Blood can spill , When wrongs provoke , and Honour bids him kill . Each tiny Bully Lives can freely bleed , When press'd by Wine , or Punk to knock o' th' head : Give me your through-pac'd Rogue , who scorns to be Prompted by poor Revenge , or Injury , But does it of true inbred cruelty : Your cool , and sober Murderer , who prays , And stabs at the same time , who one hand has Stretch'd up to Heav'n , t'other to make the Pass . So the late Saints of blessed memory , Cut throats in Godly pure sincerity : So they with lifted hands , and eyes devout , Said Grace , and carv'd a slaughter'd Monarch out . When the first Traitor Cain ( too good to be Thought Patron of this black Fraternity ) His bloody Tragedy of old design'd , One death alone quench'd his revengeful mind , Content with but a quarter of Mankind : Had he been Jesuit , had he but put on Their savage cruelty ; the rest had gone : His hand had sent old Adam after too , And forc'd the Godhead to create anew . And yet 't were well , were their foul guilt but thought Bare sin : 't is something ev'n to own a fault . But here the boldest flights of wickedness Are stampt Religion , and for currant pass . The blackest , ugliest , horrid'st , damned'st deed , For which Hell flames , the Schools a Title need , If done for Holy Church is sanctified . This consecrates the blessed Work , and Tool , Nor must we ever after think 'em foul . To undo Realms , kill Parents , murder Kings , Are thus but petty trifles , venial things , Not worth a Confessor ; nay , Heav'n shall be It self invok'd t'abet th' impiety . Grant , gracious Lord , ( Some Reverend Villain prays ) ' That this the bold Assertor of our Cause ' May with success accomplish that great end , ' For which he was by thee , and us design'd . ' Do thou t' his Arm , and Sword thy strength impart , ' And guide 'em steddy to the Tyrants heart . ' Grant him for every meritorious thrust ' Degrees of bliss above among the Just ; ' Where holy Garnet , and S. Guy are plac'd , ' Whom works , like this , before have thither rais'd . ' Where they are interceding for us now ; ' For sure they 're there . Yes questionless , and so Good Nero is , and Dioclesian too , And that great ancient Saint Herostratus , And the late godly Martyr at Thoulouse . Dare something worthy Newgate , and the Tow'r . If you 'l be canoniz'd , and Heav'n ensure . Dull prim'tive Fools of old ! who would be good , Who would by virtue reach the blest abode : Far other are the ways found out of late , Which Mortals to that happy place translate : Rebellion , Treason , Murder , Massacre , The chief Ingredients now of Saint-ship are , And Tyburn only stocks the Calendar . Unhappy Judas , whose ill fate , or chance Threw him upon gross times of ignorance ; Who knew not how to value , or esteem The worth , and merit of a glorious crime ! Should his kind Stars have let him acted now ; H 'ad dy'd absolv'd , and dy'd a Martyr too . Hear'st thou , Great God , such daring blasphemy , And let'st thy patient Thunder still lie by ? Strike , and avenge , lest impious Atheists say , Chance guides the world , and has usurp'd thy sway ; Lest these proud prosp'rous Villains too confess , Tou'rt sensless , as they make thy Images . Thou just , and sacred Pow'r ! wilt thou admit Such Guests should in thy glorious presence sit ? If Heav'n can with such company dispence ; Well did the Indian pray , Might he keep thence ! But this we only feign , all vain , and false , As their own Legends , Miracles , and Tales ; Either the groundless calumnies of spite , Or idle rants of Poetry , and Wit. We wish they were : but you hear Garnet cry , ' I did it , and would do 't again ; had I ' As much of Blood , as many Lives as Rome ' Has spilt in what the Fools call Martyrdom ; ' As many Souls as Sins ; I 'd freely stake ' All them , and more for Mother Church's sake . For that I 'll stride o're Crowns , swim through a Flood , ' Made up of slaughter'd Monarch's Brains , and ' Blood. ' For that no lives of Hereticks I 'll spare , ' But reap 'em down with less remorse , and care ' Than Tarquin did the Poppy-heads of old , ' Or we drop Beads , by which our Pray'rs are told . Bravely resolv'd ! and 't was as bravely dar'd : But ( lo ! ) the Recompence , and great Reward The wight is to the Almanack preferr'd . Rare motives to be damn'd for holy Cause , A few red Letters , and some painted straws ! Fools ! who thus truck with Hell by Mohatra , And play their Souls against no stakes away . 'T is strange with what an holy Impudence The Villain caught , his innocence maintains : Denies with Oaths the Fact , untill it be Less guilt to own it than the perjury : By th' Mass , and blessed Sacraments he swears , This Mary's Milk , and t'other Mary's Tears , And the whole muster-roll in Calendars . Not yet swallow the Falshood ? if all this Won't gain a resty Faith ; he will on 's knees Th' Evangelists , and Lady's Psalter kiss . To vouch the Lye : nay , more , to make it good Mortgage his Soul upon 't , his Heav'n , and God. Damn'd faithless Hereticks ! hard to convince , Who trust no Verdict but dull obvious Sense . Unconscionable Courts ! who Priests deny Their Benefit o' th' Clergy , Perjury . Room for the Martyr'd Saints ! behold they come ! With what a noble Scorn they meet their Doom ? Not Knights o' th' Post , nor often Carted Whores Shew more of Impudence , or less Remorse . O glorious , and heroick Constancy ! That can forswear upon the Cart , and die With gasping Souls expiring in a Lye. None but tame Sheepish Criminals repent , Who fear the idle Bugbear , Punishment : Your Gallant Sinner scorns that Cowardice , The poor regret of having done amiss : Brave he , to his first Principles still true , Can face Damnation , Sin with Hell in view : And bid it take the Soul , he does bequeath , And blow it thither with his dying breath . Dare such , as these , profess Religion's Name ? Who , should they own't , and be believ'd , would shame It's Practice out o' th' World , would Atheists make Firm in their Creed , and vouch it at the Stake ? Is Heav'n for such , whose Deeds make Hell too good , Too mild a Penance for their cursed Brood ? For whose unheard-of Crimes , and damned Sake Fate must below new sorts of Torture make , Since , when of old it fram'd that place of Doom , T was thought no guilt , like this , could thither come Base recreant Souls ! would you have Kings trust you , Who never yet kept your Allegiance true To any but Hell's Prince ? who with more ease Can swallow down most solemn Perjuries , Than a Town Bullie common Oaths , and Lies ? Are the French Harry's Fates so soon forgot ? Our last blest Tudor ? or the Powder-Plot ? And those fine Streamers , that adorn'd so long The Bridge , and Westminster , and yet had hung , Were they not stoln , and now for Relicks gone ? Think Tories Loyal , or Scotch Covenanters : Robb'd Tygers gentle ; courteous , fasting Bears : Atheists devout , and thrice-wrack'd Mariners : Take Goats for Chast , and cloister'd Marmosites : For plain , and open two-edg'd Parasites : Believe Bawds modest , and the shameless Stews , And binding Drunkard Oaths , and Strumpet's Vows : And when in time these Contradiction meet ; Then hope to find 'em in a Loyolite : To whom , tho gasping , should I credit give ; I 'd think 't were Sin , and damn'd like unbelief . Oh for the Swedish Law enacted here ! No Scare-crow frightens like a Priest-Gelder , Hunt them , as Beavers are , force them to buy Their Lives with Ransom of their Lechery . Or let that wholsome Statute be reviv'd , Which England heretofore from Wolves reliev'd : Tax every Shire instead of them to bring Each Year a certain tale of Jesuits in : And let their mangled Quarters hang the I le To scare all future Vermin from the Soil . Monsters avaunt ! may some kind whirlwind sweep Our Land , and drown these Locusts in the deep : Hence ye loath'd Objects of our Scorn , and Hate With all the Curses of an injur'd State : Go , foul Impostors , to some duller Soil , Some easier Nation with your Cheats beguile : ] Where your gross common Gulleries may pass , To slur , and top on bubled Consciences : Where Ignorance , and th' Inquisition Rules , Where the vile Herd of poor Implicit Fools Are damn'd contentedly , where they are led Blindfold to Hell , and thank , and pay their Guide . Go , where all your black Tribe before are gone , Follow Chastel , Ravillac , Clement down , Your Catesby , Faux , and Garnet , thousands more , And those , who hence have lately rais'd the Score . Where the Grand Traitor now , and all the Crew Of his Disciples must receive their Due : Where Flames , and Tortures of Eternal Date Must punish you , yet ne're can expiate : Learn duller Feinds your unknown Cruelties , Such as no Wit , but yours , could e're devise , No Guilt , but yours , deserve ; make Hell confess It self out-done , its Devils damn'd for less . SATYR III. Loyala's Will. LOng had the fam'd Impostor found Success , Long seen his damn'd Fraternit●…s increase , In Wealth , and Power , Mischief , and Guile improv'd . By Pope●… ▪ and Pope-rid Kings upheld , and lov'd : Laden with Years , and Sins , and num'rous Scars , Got some i' th' Field , but most in other Wars , Now finding Life decay , and Fate draw near , Grown ripe for Hell , and Roman Calendar , He thinks it worth his Holy Thoughts , and Care , Some hidden Rules , and Secrets to Impart , The Proofs of long●… Experience●… and deep Art , Which to his Successors may useful be In conduct of their future Villany . Summon'd together , all th' Officious Band The Orders of their Bedrid-Chief attend ; Doubtful , what Legacy he will bequeath , And wait with greedy Ears his dying Breath : With such quick Duty Vassal Fiends below To meet commands of their Dread Monarch go . On Pillow rais'd , he do's their entrance greet , And joys to see the wish'd Assembly meet : They in glad Murmurs tell their Joy aloud , Then a deep silence stills th' expecting Croud , Like Delphick Hag of old , by Fiend possest , He swells , wild Frenzy , heaves his panting Brest , His bristling Hairs stick up , his Eye-Balls glow , And from his Mouth long strakes of Drivel flow : Thrice with due Rev'rence he himself doth cross , Then thus his Hellish Oracles disclose . Ye firm Associates of my great Design , Whom the same Vows , and Oaths , and Order joyn , The faithful Band , whom I , and Rome have chofe , The last Support of our declining Caufe : Whose Conqu'ring Troops I with Success have led Gainst all Opposers of our Church , and Head ; Who e're to the mad German owe their Rise , Geneva's Rebels , or the hot-brain'd Swiss ; Revolted Hereticks , who late have broke And durst throw off the long-worn Sacred Yoke : You , by whose happy Influence Rome can boast A greater Empire , than by Luther lost : By whom wide Nature's far-stretch'd Limits now , And utmost Indies to its Crosier Bow : Go on , ye mighty Champions of our Cause , Maintain our Party , and subdue our Foes : Kill Heresie , that rank , and pois'nous Weed , Which threatens now the Church to overspread : Fire Calvin , and his Nest of Upstarts out , Who tread our Sacred Mitre under Foot ; Stray'd Germany reduce ; let it no more Th' Incestuous Monk of Wittemberg adore : Make stubborn Engl. once more stoop its Crown , And Fealty to our Priestly Sovereign own : Regain our Church's Rights , the Island clear From all remaining Dregs of Wickliff there . Plot , Enterprize , contrive , endeavour : spare No toil , nor Pains : no Death , nor Danger fear : Restless your Aims pursue : let no defeat Your sprightly Courage , and Attempts rebate , But urge to fresh , and bolder , ne're to end Till the whole World to our great Caliph bend : Till he thro' every Nation every where Bear Sway , and Reign as absolute , as here : Till Rome without controul , and Contest be The Universal Ghostly Monarchy . Oh! that kind Heaven a longer Thread would give , And let me to that happy Juncture live : But 't is decreed ! — at this he paus'd , and wept , The rest alike time with his Sorrow kept : Then thus continued he — Since unjust Fate Envies my Race of Glory longer date , Yet , as a wounded General , e're he dies , To his sad Troops , sighs out his last Advice , ( Who , tho they must his fatal Absence moan , By those great Lessons conquer , when he 's gone ) So I to you my last Instructions give , And breath out Counsel with my parting Life : Let each to my important words give Ear , Worth your attention , and my dying Care. First , and the chiefest thing by me enjoyn'd . The Solemn'st tie , that must your Order bind , Let each without demur , or scruple pay A strict Obedience to the Roman Sway : To the unerring Chair all Homage Swear , Altho a Punk , a Witch , a Fiend sit there : Who e're is to the Sacred Mitre rear'd , Believe all Vertues with the place conferr'd : Think him establish'd there by Heav'n , tho he Has Altars rob'd for bribes the choice to buy , Or pawn'd his Soul to Hell for Simony : Tho he be Atheist , Heathen , Turk , or Jew , Blasphemer , Sacrilegious , Perjur'd too : Tho Pander , Bawd , Pimp , Pathick , Buggerer , What e're old Sodom's Nest of Lechers were : Tho Tyrant , Traitor , Pois'oner , Parricide , Magician , Monster , all , that 's bad beside : Fouler than Infamy ; the very Lees , The Sink , the Jakes , the Common-shore of Vice : Strait count him Holy , Vertuous , Good , Devout , Chast , Gentle , Meek , a Saint , a God , who not ? Make Fate hang on his Lips , nor Heaven have Pow'r to Predestinate without his leave : None be admitted there , but who he please , Who buys from him the Patent for the Place . Hold those amongst the highest rank of Saints , Whom e're he to that Honour shall advance , Tho here the Refuse of the Jail , and Stews , Which Hell it self would scarce for lumber chuse : But count all Reprobate , and Damn'd , and worse , Whom he , when Gout , or Tissick Rage , shall curse : Whom he in Anger Excommunicates , For Friday Meals , and abrogating Sprats : Or in just Indignation spurns to Hell For jearing Holy Toe , and Pantofle . What e're he says , esteem for Holy Writ , And text Apocryphal , if he think fit : Let arrant Legends , worst of Tales , and Lies , Falser than Capgraves , and Voragines , Than Quixot , Rablais , Amadis de Gaul ; Is sign'd with Sacred Lead , and Fisher's Seal Be thought Authentick and Canonical . Again , if he Ordain't in his Decrees , Let very Gospel for meer Fable pass : Let Right be wrong , Black White , and Vertue Vice , No Sun , no Moon , nor no Antipodes : Forswear your Reason , Conscience , & your Creed , Your very Sense , and Euclid , if he bid . Let it be held less heinous , less amiss , To break all Gods Commands , than one of his : When his great Mifsions call , without delay , Without Reluctance readily Obey , Nor let your Inmost Wishes dare gainsay : Should he to Bantam , or Japan command , Or farthest Bounds of Southern unknown Land , Farther than Avarice its Vassals drives , Thro' Rocks , and Dangers , loss of Blood , and Lives ; Like great Xavier's be your Obedience shown , Outstrip his Courage , Glory , and Renown ; Whom neither yawning Gulphs of deep Despair , Nor scorching Heats of burning Line could scare : Whom Seas , nor Storms , nor Wracks could make refrain From propagating Holy Faith , and Gain . If he but nod Commissions out to kill , But becken Lives of Hereticks to spill ; Let th' Inquisition rage , fresh Cruelties Make the dire Engines groan with tortur'd Cries : Let Campo Flori every day be strow'd With the warm Ashes of the Luth'ran Brood : Repeat again Bohemian Slaughters ore , And Piedmont Vallies drown with floating Gore : Swifter than Murdering Angels , when they fly On Errands of avenging Destiny . Fiercer than Storms let loose , with eager haste Lay Cities , Countries , Realms , whole Nature waste . Sack , ●…avish , burn , destroy , slay , massacre , Till the same Grave their Lives , and Names interr : These are the Rights to our great Mufty due , The sworn Allegiance of your Sacred Vow : What else we in our Votaries require , What other Gift , next follows to enquire . And first it will our great Advice befit . What Soldiers to your Lists you ought admit , To Natives of the Church , and Faith , like you , The foremost rank of Choice is justly due : 'Mongst whom the chiefest place assign to those , Whose Zeal has mostly Signaliz'd the Cause . But let not Entrance be to them deny'd , Who ever shall desert the adverse Side : Omit no Promises of Wealth , or Power , That may inveigled Hereticks allure : Those , whom great learning , parts , or wit renowns , Cajole with hopes of Honours , Scarlet Gowns , Provincial ships , and Palls , and Triple Crowns . This must a Rector , that a Provost be , A third succed to the next Abbacy : Some Princes Tutors , others Confessors To Dukes , and Kings , and Queens , and Emperors : These are strong Arguments , which seldom fail , Which more than all yo●…r weak disputes prevail . Exclude not those of less desert , decree To all Revolters your Foundation free : To all , whom Gaming , Drunkenness , or Lust , To Need , and Popery shall have reduc'd : To all , whom slighted Love , Ambition crost , Hopes often bilk't , and Sought Preferment lost , Whom Pride , or Discontent , Revenge , or Spite , Fear , Frenzy , or Despair shall Proselyte : Those Pow'rful Motives , which the most bring in , Most Converts to our Church , and Order win . Reject not those , whom Guilt , and Crimes at home Have made to us for Sanctuary come : Let Sinners of each Hue , and Size , and Kind , Here quick admittance , and safe Refuge find : Be they from Justice of their Country fled , With Blood of Murders , Rapes , and Treasons died : No Varlet , Rogue , or Miscreant refuse , From Gallies , Jails , or Hell it self broke loose . By this you shall in Strength , and Numbers grow And shoals each day to your throng'd Cloisters flow : So Rome's and Mecca's first great Founders did , By such wise Methods made their Churches spread . When shaven Crown , and hallow'd Girdle's Power Has dub'd him Saint , that Villain was before ; Enter'd , let it his first Endeavour be To shake off all remains of Modesty , Dull sneaking Modesty , not more unfit For needy flatt'ring Poets , when they write , Or trading Punks , than for a Jesuit : If any Novice feel at first a blush ; Let Wine , and frequent converse with the Stews Reform the Fop , and shame it out of Use ; Unteach the puling Folly by degrees , And train him to a well-bred Shamelesness . Get that great Gift , and Talent , Impudence Accomplish't Mankind's highest Excellence : 'T is that alone prefers , alone makes great , Confers alone Wealth , Titles , and Estate : Gains Place at Court , can make a Fool a Peer , An Ass a Bishop , can vil'st Blockheads rear To wear Red Hats , and sit in Porph'ry Chair . 'T is Learning , Parts , and Skill , and Wit , and Sense , Worth , Merit , Honour , Vertue , Innocence . Next for Religion , learn what 's fit to take , How small a Dram do's the just Compond make . As much as is by the Crafty States-men worn For Fashion only , or to serve a turn : To bigot Fools its idle Practice leave , Think it enough the empty Form to have : The outward Show is seemly , cheap , and light , The Substance Cumbersome , of Cost , and Weight : The Rabble judge by what appears to th' Eye , None , or but few , the Thoughts within Descry . Make 't you an Engine to ambitions Pow'r To stalk behind , and hit your Mark more sure : A Cloak to cover well-hid Knavery , Like it , when us'd , to be with ease thrown by : A shifting Card , by which your Course to steer , And taught with every changing Wind to veer . Let no Nice , Holy , Conscientious Ass Amongst your better Company find place , Me , and your . Foundation to disgrace : Let Truth be banisht , ragged Vertue fly , And poor unprofitable Honesty ; Weak Idols , who their wretched Slaves betray ; To every Rook , and every Knave a Prey : These lie remote , and wide from Interest , Farther than Heaven from Hell , or East from West , Far , as they e're were distant from the breast . Think not your selves t' Austerities confin'd , Or those strict Rules , which other Orders bind , To Capuchins , Carthusians , Cord●…liers Leave Penance , meager abstinence , and Prayers : In lousie Rags let Begging Fryars lye , Content on Straw , or Boards to mortifie : Let them with Sackcloath discipline their Skins , And scourge them for their madness , and their Sins : Let pining Anchorets in Grotto's starve , Who from the Liberties of Nature swerve : Who make 't their chief Religion not to eat , And place't in nastiness , and want of Meat : Live you in Luxury , and pamper'd Ease , As if whole Nature were your Cateress . Soft be your Beds , as those , which Monarch's Whores Lye on , or Gouts of Bed-rid Emperors : Your Wardrobes stor'd with choice of Suits , more dear Than Cardinals on high Processions wear : With Dainties load your Boards , whose every Dish May tempt cloy'd Gluttons , or Vitellius Wish . Each fit a longing Queen : let richest Wines With Mirth your Heads inflame , with Lust your Veins : Such as the Friends of dying Popes would give For Cordials to prolong their gasping Life . Ne're let the Nazarene , whose Badg , and Name You wear , upbraid you with a Conscious Shame : Leave him his slighted Homilies , and Rules , To stuff the Squabbles of the wrangling Schools ; Disdain , that he , and the poor angling Tribe , Should Laws , and Government to you prescribe : Let none of those good Fools your Patterns make ; Instead of them , the mighty Judas take . Renown'd Iscaniot , fit alone to be Th' Example of our great Society : Whose daring Guilt despis'd the common Road , And scorn'd to stoop at Sin beneath a God. And now 't is time I should Instructions give , What Wiles , and Cheats the Rabble best deceive : Each Age , and Sex , their diff'rent Passions wear , To suit with which requires a prudent Care : Youth is Capricious , Headstrong , Fickle , Vain , Given to Lawless Pleasure , Age to gain : Old Wives , in Superstition over-grown , With Chimny Tales , and Stories best are won : 'T is no mean Talent rightly to descry , What several Baits to each you ought apply . The Credulous , and easie of Belief , With Miracles , and well fram'd Lies deceive , Empty whole Surius , and the Talmud : drain Saint Francis , and Saint Mahomet's Alcoran : Sooner shall Popes , and Cardinals want Pride , Than you a Stock of Lies , and Legends need . Tell how blest Virgin to come down was seen . Like Play-House Punk descending in Machine : How she writ B●…llets Doux , and Love-Discourse , Made Assignations , Visits , and Amours : How Hosts distrest , her Smock for Banner bore , Which vanquish'd Foes , and murder'd at twelve Score . Relate how Fish in Conventicles met , And Mackrel were with Bait of Doctine caught : How Cattel have Judicious Hearers been , And Stones pathetically cry'd Amen : How cons●…crated Hive●… with Bells was hung , And Bees kept Mass , and Holy Anthems Sung : How Pigs to th' Ros'ry kneel'd , and sheep were taught To bleat Te Deum , and Magnificat : How Fly-Flap of Church-Censure Houses rid Of Insects , which at Curse of Fryer dy'd : How travelling Saints , well mounted on a Switch , Ride Journeys thro' the Air , like Lapland Witch : And ferrying Cowls Religious Pilgrims bore O're waves with the help of Sail , or Oar. Nor let Xavier's great Wonders pass conceal'd , How Storms were by th' Almighty Wafer quell'd ; How zealous Crab the sacred Image bore , And swam a Cath'lick to the distant Shore With Shams , like these , the giddy Rout mislead , Their Folly , and their Superstition feed . 'T was found a good , and gainful Art of Old ( And much it did our Church's Pow'r uphold ) To feign Hobgoblins , Elves , and walking Sprites , And Fairies dancing Salenger a Nights : White Sheets for Ghosts , and Will-a-wisps have past For Souls in Purgatory unreleast . And Crabs in Church-Yard crawl'd in Masquerade , To cheat the Parish , and have Masses said . By this our Ancestors in happier Days , Did store of Credit and Advantage raise : But now the Trade is fall'n , decay'd , and dead , E're since Contagious Knowledg has o're-spread : With Scorn the grinning Rabble now hear tell Of Hecla , Patrick's hole , and Mongibel ; Believ'd no more , than Tales of Troy , unless In Countries drown'd in Ignorance like this . Henceforth be wary how such things you feign , Except it be beyond the Cape , or Line ; Except at Mexico , Brazile , At the Molucco's , Goa , or Pegu , Or any distant , and Remoter Place , Where they may currant , and unquestion'd pass : Where never poching Hereticks resort , To spring the Lye , and make 't their Game , and Sport. But I forget ( what should be mention'd most ) Confession , our chief Priviledg and Boast : That Staple ware , which ne're returns in vain , Ne're balks the Trader of expected Gain . 'T is this , that spies through Court-intrigues , and brings Admission to the Cabinets of Kings : By this we keep proud Monarchs at our Becks , And make our Foot-stools of their Thrones & Necks : Give 'em Commands , and if they Disobey ; Betray them to th' Ambitious Heir a Prey : Hound the Officious Curs on Hereticks , The Vermin , which the Church infest , and vex : And when our turn is serv'd , and Business done , Dispatch 'em for reward , as useless grown : Nor are these half the Benefits , and Gains , Which by wise Manag'ry accrue from thence : By this w'unlock the Miser's hoarded Chests , And Treasure , though kept close , as States-mens Breasts : This does rich Widows to our Nets decoy , Let us their Jointures , and themselves enjoy : To us the Merchant does his Customs bring , And pays our Duty , tho he cheats his King : To us Court-Ministers refund , made great By Robbery , and Bankrupt of the State : Ours is the Soldier 's Plunder , Padder's Prize , Gabels on Letch'ry , and the Stew's Excise : By this our Colledges in Riches shine , And vy with Becket's , and Loretto's Shrine . And here I must not grudge a word or two ( My younger Vot'ries ) of Advice to you : To you , whom Beautie 's Charms , and gen'rous Fire Of boiling Youth to sports of Love inspire : This is your Harvest , here secure , and cheap You may the Fruits of unbought Pleasure reap : Riot in free , and uncontroll'd delight , Where no dull Marriage clogs the Appetite : Tast every dish of Lust's variety , Which Popes , and Scarlet Lechers dearly buy , With Bribes , and Bishopricks , and Simony . But this I ever to your care commend , Be wary how you openly offend : Lest scoffing lewd Buffoons descry our Shame , And fix disgrace on the great Order's fame . When the unguarded Maid alone repairs . To ease the burthen of her Sins , and Cares ; When youth in each , and privacy conspire To kindle wishes , and befriend desire ; If she has practis'd in the Trade ( Few else of Proselytes to us brought o're ) Little of Force , or Artifice will need : To make you in the Victory succeed : But if some untaught Innocence she be , Rude , and unknowing in the mystery ; She 'll cost more labour to be made comply . Make her by Pumping understand the sport , And undermine with secret trains the Fort , Sometimes as if you 'd blame her gaudy dress , Her Naked Pride , her Jewels , Point , and Lace ; Find opportunity her Breasts to press : Oft feel her hand , and whisper in her ear , You find the secret marks of lewdness there : Sometimes with naughty sence her blushes raise , And make 'em guilt , she never knew , confess ; ' Thus ( may you say ) with such a leering smile , ' So Languishing a look you hearts beguile : ' Thus with your foot , hand , eye , you tokens speak , ' These Signs deny , these Assignations make : ' Thus 't is you clip , with such a fierce embrace ' You clasp your Lover to your Breast , and Face : ' Thus are your hungry lips with Kisses cloy'd , ' Thus is your hand , & thus your tongue employ'd . Ply her with talk with this : and , if sh' encline , To help Devotion , give her Aretine Instead o' th' Rosary : never despair , She , that to such discourse will lend an Ear ▪ Tho chaster than cold cloyster'd Nuns she were , Will soon prove soft , and pliant to your use , As Strumpets on the Carnaval let loose . Credit experience ; I have tri'd 'em all , And never found th' unerring methods fail : Not Ovid , tho 't were his chief Mastery , Had greater skill in these Intrigues , than I : Nor Nero's learned Pimp , to whom we owe What choice Records of Lust are extant now . This heretofore , when youth , and sprightly Blood Ran in my Veins , I tasted , and enjoy'd : Ah those blest days , ! — ( here the old Lecher smil'd , With sweet remembrance of past pleasures fill'd ) But they are gone ! Wishes alone remain , And Dreams of Joy , ne're to be felt again : To abler Youth I now the Practice leave , To whom this counsel , and advice I give . But the dear mention of my gayer days Has made me farther , than I would , digress : 'T is time we should now in due Place expound , How guilt is after shrift to be atton'd : Enjoyn no sow'r Repentance , Tear , and Grief ; Eyes weep no cash , and you no profit give : Sins , tho of the first rate , must punish'd be , Not by their own , but th' Actor's Quality : The Poor , whose Purse cannot the Penance bear ; Let whipping serve , bare feet , and shirts of hair : The richer Fools to Compostella send , Tome Rome , Monferrat , or the Holy Land : Pet Pardons , and the Indulgence-Office drain Their Coffers , and enrich the Pope's with gain : Make 'em build Churches , Monasteries found And dear bought Masses for their crimes compound Let Law , and Gospel , rigid precepts set , And make the paths to Bliss rugged , and strait : Teach you a smooth , an easier way to gain Heav'ns joys , yet sweet , and useful sin retain : With every frailty , every lust comply , T' advance your Spiritual Realm , and Monarchy : Pull up weak Vertue 's fence , give scope and space And Purliens to out-lying Consciences : Shew that the Needle 's eye may stretch , and how The largest Camel-vices may go thro' . Teach how the Priest Pluralities may buy , Yet fear no odious Sin of Simony . While Thoughts , and Ducats will directed be : Let Whores adorn his exemplary life , But no lewd heinous Wife a Scandal give . Sooth up the Gaudy Atheist , who maintains No Law , but Sense , and owns no God , but Chance . Bid Thieves rob on , the Boisterous Ruffian tell , He may for Hire , Revenge , or Honour kill : Bid Strumpets persevere , absolve 'em too , And take their dues in kind for what you do : Exhort the painful , and industrious Bawd To Diligence , and Labour in her Trade : Nor think her innocent Vocation ill , Whose incomes do's the sacred Treasure fill : Let Griping Usurers Extortion use , No Rapine , Falshood , Perjury refuse , Stick at no Crime , which covetous Popes would scarce Act to enrich themselves , and Bastard-Heirs : A small Bequest to th' Church can all atttone , Wipes off all scores , and Heav'n , and all 's their own . Be these your Doctrins , these the truths , you preach , But no forbidden Bible come in reach : Your Cheats , and Artifices to Impeach . Lest thence Lay-Fools Pernitious knowledge get , Throw off Obedience , and your Laws forget : Make 'em believ 't a spell , more dreadful far , Than Bacon , Haly , or Albumazar . Happy the time , when th' unpretending Crowd No more , than I , its Language understood ! When the worm-eaten Book , link'd to a chain , In dust lay mouldring in the Vatican ; Dispis'd , neglected , and forgot , to none , But poring Rabbies , or the Sorbon known : Then in full pow'r our Soveraign Prelate sway'd , By Kings , and all the Rabble World Obey'd : Here humble Monarch at his feet kneel'd down , And beg'd the Alms , and Charity of a Crown : There , when in Solemn State he pleas'd to ride , Poor Scepter'd Slaves ran Henchboys by his side : None , tho in thought , his grandeur durst Blaspheme ; Nor in their very sleep a Treason dream . But since the broaching that mischievous Piece , Each Alderman a Father Lumbard is : And every Cit dares impudently know More than a Council , Pope , and Conclave too . Hence the late Damned Frier , and all the crew Of former Crawling Sects their poison drew : Hence all the Troubles , Plagues , Rebellions breed ; We 've felt , or feel , or may hereafter dread : Wherefore enjoyn , that no Lay-coxcomb dare About him that unlawful Weapon wear ; But charge him chiefly not to touch at all The dang'rous Works of that old Lollard , Paul ; That arrant Wickliffist , from whom our Foes Take all their Batt'ries to attack our Cause ; Would he in his first years had Martyr'd been , Never Damascus , nor the Vision seen ; Then he our Party was , stout , vigorous , And fierce in chace of Heretieks , like us : Till he at length , by th' Enemies seduc'd , Forsook us , and the hostile side espous'd . Had not the mighty Julian mist his aims , These holy Shreds had all consum'd in flames : But since th' Immortal Lumber still endures , In spight of all his industry , and ours ; Take care at least it may not come abroad , To taint with catching Heresie the Crowd : Let them be still kept low in sence , they 'l pay The more respect , more readily obey . Pray that kind Heav'n would on their hearts dispense A bounteous , and abundant Ignorance , That they may never swerve , nor turn awry From sound , and Orthodox Stupidity . But these are obvious things , easie to know , Common to every Monk , a●… well as you : Greater Affairs , and more important wait To be discuss'd , and call for our debate : Matters , that depth require , and well befit Th' Address , and Conduct of a Jesuit . How Kingdoms are embroil'd , what shakes a Throne , How the first seeds of Discontent are sown To spring up in Rebellion ; how are set The secret snares , that circumvent a State : How bubled Monarchs are at first beguil'd , Trepann'd , and gull'd , at last depos'd , and kill'd . When some proud Prince , a Rebel to our Head , For disbelieving Holy Church's Creed , And Peter-pence , is Heretick decreed ; And by a solemn , and unquestion'd Pow'r To Death , and Hell , and You delivr'd o're : Chuse first some dext'rous Rogue , well tri'd , and known ( Such by Confession your Familiars grown ) Let him by Art , and Nature fitted be For any great , and gallant Villany , Practis'd in every Sin , each kind of Vice , Which deepest Casuists in their searches miss , Watchful as Jealousie , wary as Fear , Fiercer than Lust , and bolder than Despair , But close , as plotting Feinds in Council are . To him , in firmest Oaths of Silence bound , The worth , and merit of the Deed propound : Tell of whole Reams of Pardon , new come o're , Indies of Gold , and Blessings , endless store : Choice of Preferments , if he overcome , And if he fail , undoubted Maryrdom : And Bills for Sums in Heav'n , to be drawn On Factors there , and at first sight paid down With Arts , and Promises , like these ; allure , And make him to your great design secure . And here to know the sundry ways to kill , Is worth the Genius of a Machiavel : Cull Northern Brains , in these deep Arts unbred , Know nought but to cut Throats , or knock o' th' Head , No slight of Murder of the subt'lest shape , Your busie search , and observation scape : Legerdemain of Killing , that dives in , And Juggling steals away a Life unseen : How gawdy Fate may be in Presents sent , And creep insensibly by Touch , or Scent : How Ribbands , Gloves , or Saddle-Pomel may An unperceiv'd , but certain Death convey ; Above the reach of Antidotes , above the Pow'r Of the fam'd Pontick Mountebank to cure . What e're is known to quaint Italian spite , In studied Pois'ning skill'd , and exquisite : What e're great Borgia , or his Sire could boast , Which the Expence of half the Conclave cost . Thus may the business be in secret done , Nor Authors , nor the Accessaries known , And the slurr'd guilt with ease on others thrown . But if ill Fortune should your Plot betray , And leave you to the rage of Foes a prey ; Let none his Crime by weak confession own , Nor shame the Church , while he 'd himself attone Let varnish'd Guile , and feign'd Hypocrisies , Pretended Holiness , and useful Lies , Your well-dissembled Villany disguise . A thousand wily Turns , and Doubles try , To foil the Scent , and to divert the Cry : Cog , sham , out face , deny , equivocate , Into a thousand shapes your selves translate : Remember what the crafty Spartan taught , Children with Rattles , Men with Oaths are caught : Forswear upon the Rack , and if you fall , Let this great comfort make amends for all , Those , whom they damn for Rogues , next Age shall see Made Advocates i' th Church's Litany . Who ever with bold Tongue , or Pen shall dare Against your Arts , and Practices declare ; What Fool shall e're presumptuously oppose , Your Holy Cheats , and godly Frauds disclose ; Pronounce him Heretick , Firebrand of Hell , Turk , Jew , Fiend , Miscreant , Pagan , Infidel ; A thousand blacker Names , worse Calumnies , All , Wit can think , and pregnant Spite devise : Strike home , gash deep , no Lies , nor Slanders spare ; A Wound , tho cur'd , yet leaves behind a Scar. Those , whom your Wit , and Reason can't decry , Make scandalous with Loads of Infamy : Make Luther Monster , by a Fiend begot , Brought forth with Wings , and Tail , and Cloven Foot : Make Whoredom , Incest , worst of vice , and shame , Pollute , and foul his Manners , Life , and Name . Tell how strange Storms usher'd his fatal end , And Hell 's black Troops did for his Soul contend . Much more I had to say ; but now grown faint , And strength , and Spirits for the Subject want : Be these great Mysteries , I here unfold , Amongst your Order's Institutes enroll'd : Preserve them sacred , close and unreveal'd ; As ancient Rome her Sybil's Books conceal'd . Let no bold Heretick with sawcy eye Into the hidden unseen Archives pry ; Lest the malicious flouting Rascals turn Our Church to Laughter , Raillery , and Scorn . Let never Rack , or Torture , Pain , or Fear , From your firm Breasts th' important Secrets tear . If any treach'rous Brother of your own Shall to th' World divulg●… , & make them known , Let him by worst of Deaths his Guilt attone . Should but his Thoughts or Dreams suspected be , Let him for safety , and prevention die , And learn i' th' Grave the Art of Secresie . But one thing more , and then with joy I go , Nor as a longer stay of Fate below : Give me again once more your plighted Faith , And let each seal it with his dying breath : As the great Carthaginian heretofore The bloody reeking Altar touch'd , and swore Eternal Enmity to th' Roman Pow'r : Swear you ( and let the Fates confirm the same ) An endless Hatred to the Luth'ran Name : Vow never to admit , or League , or Peace , Or Truce , or Commerse with the cursed Race : Now , through all Age , when Time , or Place so e're Shall give you pow'r , wage an immortal War : Like Theban Feuds , let yours your selves survive , And in your very Dust , and Ashes live . Like mine , be your last Gasp their Curse . — At this They kneel , and all the Sacred Volumn kiss ; Vowing to send each year an Hecatomb Of Huguenots , an Off'ring to ●…is Tomb. In vain he would continue ; - — - Abrupt Death A Period puts , and stops his impious Breath : In broken Accents he is scarce allow'd To faulter out his Blessing on the Crowd , Amen is eccho'd by Infernal Howl , And scrambling Spirits seize his parting Soul. SATYR IV. S. Ignatius his Image brought in , discovering the Rogueries of the Jesuits , and ridiculous Superstition of the Church of Rome . ONce I was common Wood , a shapeless Log , Thrown out a Pissing-post for ev'ry Dog : The Workman yet in doubt , what course to take ; Whether I 'd best a Saint , ●…r Hog-trough make , After debate resolv'd me for a Saint , And thus fam'd Loyola I represent : And well I may resemble him , for he As stupid was , as much a Block as I. My right Leg maim'd , at halt I seem to stand ; To tell the Wounds at Pampelune sustein'd . My Sword , and Soldiers Armour here had been , But they may in Monserrats Church be seen : Those there to blessed Virgin I laid down For Cassock , Surfingle , and shaven Crown , The spiritual Garb , in which I now am shown . With due Accoutrements , and fit disguise I might for Centinel of Corn suffice : As once the well-hung God of old stood guard , And the invading Crows from Forrage scar'd . Now on my head the Birds their Relicks leave , And Spiders in my mouth their Arras weave : And persecuted Rats oft find in me A Refuge , and religious Sanctuary . But you profaner Heret●…cks , who e're The Inquisition , and its vengeance fear , I charge , stand off , at peril come not near : None at twelve score untruss , break wind , or piss ; He enters Fox his Lists , that dare transgress : For I 'm by Holy Church in Rev'rence had , And all good Cath'lick Folk implore my aid . These Pictures , which you see , my Story give , The Acts , and Monuments of me alive : That Frame , wherein with Pilgrims weeds I stand , Contains my Travels to the Holy Land. This me , and my Decemvirate at Rome , When I for Grant of my great Order come . There with Devotion rapt , I hang in Air , With Dove ( like Mah'met's ) whisp'ring in my ear . Here Virgin in Galesh of Clouds descends , To be my safeguard from assaulting Fiends . Those Tables by , and Crutches of the lame , My great Atchievements since my death proclaim : Pox , Ague , Dropsie , Palsie , Stone , and Gout , Legions , of Maladies by me cast out , More than the College know , or ever fill Quacks Wiping-paper , and the Weekly Bill . What Peter's shadow did of old , the same Is fancied done by my all-powerful Name ; For which some wear 't about their Necks , and Arms , To guard from Dangers , Sicknesses , and Harms ; And some on Wombs the barren to relieve , A Miracle , I better did alive . Oft I by crafty Jesuit am taught Wonders to do , and many a Juggling Feat . Sometimes with Chafing-dish behind me put , I sweat like Clapt Debauch in Hot-House shut , And drip like any Spitch-cock'd Huguenot : Sometimes by secret Springs I learn to stir , As Paste-board Saints dance by mirac'lous Wire : Then I Tradescant's Rarities out-do , Sands Waterworks , and German Clockwork too , Or any choice Device at Barthol'mew . Sometimes I utter Oracles , by Priest Instead of a Familiar possest . The Church I vindicate , Luther consute , And cause amazement in the gaping Rout. Such holy Cheats , such Hocus Tricks , as these , For Miracles amongst the Rabble pass . By this in their esteem I daily grow , In Wealth inrich'd , increas'd in Vot'ries too . This draws each year vast Numbers to my Tomb , More than in Pigrimage to Mecca come . This brings each week new Presents to my Shrine , And makes it those of India Gods out-shine . This gives a Chalice , that a Golden Cross , Another massie Candlesticks bestows , Some Alter-cloaths of costly work , and price Plush , Tissue , Ermin , Silks of noblest Dies , The Birth , and Passion in Embroideries : Some Jewels , rich as those , th' AEgyptian Punk In Jellies to her Roman Stallion drunk , Some offer gorgeous Robes , which serve to wear When I on Holy days in state appear ; When I 'm in pomp on high Processions shown , Like Pageants of Lord May'r , or Skimmington . Lucullus could not such a Wardrobe boast , Less those of Popes at their Election cost ; Less those , which Sicily's Tyrant heretofore From Plunder'd Gods , and Jove's own Shoulders tore . Hither , as to some Fair , the Rabble come , To barter for the Merchandize of Rome ; Where Priests , like Mountebanks , on Stage appear , T' expose the Frip'ry of their hallow'd Ware : This is the Lab'ratory of their Trade , The Shop , where all their staple Drugs are made ; Prescriptions , and Receipts to bring in Gain , All from the Church Dispensatories ta'en , The Pope's Elixir , Holy Waters here , Which they with Chymick Art distill'd prepare : Choice above Goddard's Drops , and all the Trash Of Modern Quacks ; this is that Soveraign Wash For fetching Spots , and Morphew from the Face , And scowring dirty Cloaths , and Consciences . One drop of this , if us'd , had pow'r to fray The Legion from the Hogs of Gadara : This would have silenc'd quite the Wiltshire Drum , And made the prating Fiend of Mascon dumb . That Vessel consecrated Oyl contains , Kept Sacred , as the fam'd Ampoulle of France ; Which some profaner Hereticks would use For liquoring Wheels of Jacks , of Boots , and Shooes : This make the Chrism , which mix'd with Snot of Priests , Anoint young Cath'licks for the Church's lists ; And when they 're crost , confest , and die ; by this Their lanching Souls slide off to endless Bliss : As Lapland Saints , when they on Broomsticks fly , By help of Magick Unctions mount the Sky . You Altar-Pix of Gold is the Abode , And safe Repository of their God. A Cross is fix'd upon 't the Feinds to fright , And Flies which would the Deity beshite ; And Mice , which oft might unprepar'd receive . And to lewd Scoffers cause of Scandal give . Here are perform'd the Conjurings and Spells , For Christning Saints , and Hawks , and Carriers Bells ; For hall'wing Shreds , and Grains , and Salts , and Bawms , Shrines , Crosses , Medals , Shells , and Waxen Lambs : Of wondrous Virtue all ( you must believe ) And from all sorts of Ill preservative ; From Plague , Infection , Thunder , Storm , and Hail , Love , Grief , Want , Debt , Sin , and the Devil and all . Here Beads are blest , and Pater nosters fram'd , ( By some the Tallies of Devotion nam'd ) Which of their Pray'rs , and Oraisons keep tale , Lest they , and Heav'n should in the reck'ning fail . Here Sacred Lights , the Altars graceful Pride , Are by Priests breath perfum'd and Sanctified ; Made some of Wax , of Her'ticks Tallow some , A Gift , which Irish Emma sent to Rome : For which great Merit worthily ( we 're told ) She 's now amongst her Country-Saints inroll'd . Here holy Banners are reserv'd in store , And Flags , such as the fam'd Armado bore : And hallow'd Swords , and Daggers kept for use , When resty Kings the Papal Yoke resuse : And consecrated Rats-bane , to be laid For Her'tick Vermin , which the Church invade . But that which brings in most of Wealth , and Gain , Does best the Priests swoln Tripes , and Purses strain ; Here they each Week their constant Auctions hold Of Reliques , which by Candles Inch are sold : Saints by the dozen here are set to sale , Like Mortals wrought in Gingerbread on Stall . Hither are loads from emptied Chanels brought , And Voiders of the Worms from Sextons bought ; Which serve for Retail through the World to vent , Such as of late were to the Savoy sent : Hair from the Skulls of dying Strumpets shorn , And Felons Bones from rifled Gibbets torn ; Like those , which some old Hag at midnight steals . For Witchcrafts , Amulets , and Charms , and Spells , Are past for Sacred to the Cheap'ning Rout ; And worn on Fingers , Breasts , and Ears about . This boasts a Scrap of me , and that a Bit Of good St. George , St. Patrick , or St. Kit. These Locks S. Bridget's were , and those S. Clare's ; Some for S. Catharine's go , and some for her's That wip'd her Saviour's feet , wash'd with her tears . Here you may see my wounded Leg , and here Those , which to China bore the great Xavier . Here may you the grand Traitor's Halter see , Some call 't the Arms of the Society : Here is his Lanthorn too , but Faux his , not , That was embezl'd by the Huguenot . Here Garnet's Straws , and Becket's Bones , and Hair , For murd'ring whom , some Tails are said to wear ; As learned Capgrave does record their fate , And faithful British Histories relate . Those are S. Laurence Coals expos'd to view , Strangely preserv'd , and kept alive till now . That 's the fam'd Wildefortis wondrous Beard , For which her Maidenhead the Tyrant spar'd . Yon is the Baptist's Coat , and one of 's Heads , The rest are shewn in many a place besides ; And of his Teeth as many Sets there are , As on their Belts six Operators wear . Here Blessed Mary's Milk , not yet turn'd sour , Renown'd ( like Ass'es ) for its healing pow'r , Ten Holland Kine scarce in a year give more . Here is her Manteau , and a Smock of hers , Fellow to that , which once reliev'd Poictiers : Besides her Husbands Utensils of Trade , Wherewith some prove , that Images were made . Here is the Soldiers Spear , and Passion-Nails , Whose quantity would serve for building Pauls : Chips , some from Holy Cross , from Tyburn some , Honour'd by many a Jesuit's Martyrdom : All held of special , and Mirac'lous Pow'r , Not Tabor more approv'd for Agu's cure : Here Shooes , which , once perhaps at Newgate hung , Angled their Charity , that pass'd along , Now for S. Peter's go , and th' Office bear For Priests , they did for lesser Villains there . These are the Fathers Implements , and Tools , Their gawdy Trangums for inveigling Fools : These serve for Baits the simple to ensnare , Like Children spirited with Toys at Fair. Nor are they half the Artifices yet , By which the Vulgar they delude , and cheat : Which should I undertake , much easier I , Much sooner might compute what Sins there be Wip'd off , and pardon'd at a Jubilee . What Bribes enrich the Datary each year , Or Vices treated on by Escobar : How many Whores in Rome profess the Trade , Or greater numbers by Confession made . One undertakes by Scale of Miles to tell The Bounds , Dimensions , and Extent of Hell ; How far , and wide th' Infernal Monarch Reigns , How many German Leagues his Realm contains : Who are his Ministers , pretends to know , And all their several Offices below : How many Chaudrons he each year expends In Coals for roasting Huguenots , and Feinds : And with as much exactness states the case , As if h 'ad been Surveyor of the place . Another frights the Rout with ruful Stories , Of Wild Chimaera's , Limbo's , Purgatories , And bloated Souls in smoaky durance hung , Like a Westphalia Gammon , or Neats Tongue , To be redeem'd with Masses , and a Song . A good round Sum must the Deliv'rance buy , For none may there swear out on poverty . Your rich , and bounteous Shades are only eas'd , No Fleet , or Kings-Bench Ghosts are thence releas'd . A third , the wicked , and debauch'd to please , Cries up the vertue of Indulgences , And all the rates of Vices does assess ; What price they in the holy Chamber bear , And Customs for each Sin imported there : How you at best advantages may buy Patents for Sacrilege , and Simony . What Tax is in the Leach'ry-Office laid On Panders , Bawds , and Whores , that ply the Trade : What costs a Rape , or Incest , and how cheap You may an Harlot , or an Ingle keep ; How easie Murder may afforded be For one , two , three , or a whole Family ; But not of Her'ticks , there no Pardon lacks , 'T is one o' th' Church's meritorious Acts. For venial Trifles , less and slighter Faults , They ne're deserve the trouble of your thoughts . Ten Ave Maries mumbled to the Cross Clear scores of twice ten thousand such as those : Some are at sound of christen'd Bell forgiven , And some by squirt of Holy Water driven : Others by Anthems plaid are charm'd away , As Men cure Bites of the Tarantula . But nothing with the Crowd does more enhance The value of these holy Charlatans , Than when the Wonders of the Mass they veiw , Where spiritual Jugglers their chief Mast'ry shew : Hey Jingo , Sirs ! What 's this ? 't is Bread you see ; Presto be gone ! 't is now a Deity . Two grains of Dough , with Cross , and stamp of Priest , And five small words pronounc'd , make up their Christ. To this they all fall down , this all adore , And strait devour , what they ador'd before ; Down goes the tiny Saviour at a bit , To be digested , and at length beshit : From Altar to Close-Stool , or Jakes preferr'd , First Wafer , then a God , and then a — 'T is this , that does the astonish'd Rout amuse , And Reverence to shaven Crown infuse : To see a silly , sinful , mortal Wight His Maker make , create the Infinite . None boggles at th' impossibility ; Alas , 't is wondrous Heavenly Mystery ! None dares the mighty God-maker blaspheme , Nor his most open Crimes , and Vices blame : Saw he those hands that held his God before , Strait grope himself , and by and by a Whore : Should they his aged Father kill , or worse , His Sisters , Daughters , Wife , himself too force . And here I might ( if I but durst ) reveal What pranks are plaid in the Confessional : How haunted Virgins have been dispossest , And Devils were cast out , to let in Priest : What Fathers act with Novices alone , And what to Punks in shrievings Seats is done ; Who thither flock to Ghostly Confessor , To clear old debts , and tick with Heav'n for more . Oft have I seen these hallow'd Altars stain'd With Rapes , those Pews with Buggeries profan'd : Not great Cellier , nor any greater Bawd , Of note , and long experience in the Trade , Has more , and fouler Scenes of Lust suvey'd . But I these dang'rous Truths forbear to tell , For fear I should the Inquisition feel . Should I tell all their countless Knaveries , Their Cheats , and Shams , and Forgeries , and Lies . Their Cringings , Crossings , Censings , Sprinklings , Chrisms , Their Conjurings , and Spells , and Exorcisms ; Their Motly Habits , Maniples , and Stoles , Albs , Ammits , Rochets , Chimers , Hoods , and Cowls . Should I tell all their several Services , Their Trentals , Masses , Dirges , Rosaries ; Their solemn Pomps , their Pageants , and Parades , Their holy Masks , and spiritual Cavalcades , With thousand Antick Tricks , and Gambols more ; 'T would swell the sum to such a mighty score , That I at length should more volum'nous grow , Than Crabb , or Surius , lying Fox , or Stow. Believe what e're I have related here , As true , as if 't were spoke from Porph'ry Chair . If I have feign'd in ought , or broach'd a Lie , Let worst of Fates attend me , let me be Pist on by Porter , Groom , and Oyster-whore , Or find my Grave in Jakes , and Common-shore : Or make next Bonfire for the Powder-Plot , The sport of every sneering Huguenot . There like a Martyr'd Pope in Flames expire , And no kind Catholick dare quench the Fire . Aude aliquid brevibus Gyaris , & carcere dignum , Si vis esse aliquis . — Juven . Sat. ODE . 1. NOW Curses on you all ! ye vertuous Fools , Who think to fetter free-born souls , And tie'em to dull Morality , and rules . The Sagarite be damn'd , and all the Crew Of learned Ideots , who his steps pursue ; And those more silly Proselytes , whom his fond precepts drew . Oh! had his Ethicks been with their wild Author drown'd , Or a like Fate with those lost Writings found , Which that grand Plagiary doom'd to fire , And made by unjust Flames expire : They ne're had then seduc'd Mortality , Ne're lasted to debauch the World with their lewd Pedantry . But damn'd , and more ( if Hell can do 't ) be that thrice cursed name , Who e're the Rudiments of Law design'd ; Who e're did the first Model of Religion frame , And by that double Vassalage enthrall'd Mankind , By nought before , but their own Pow'r , or Will confin'd : Now quite abridg'd of all their Primitive Liberty , And slaves to each capricious Monarch's Tyranny . More happy Brutes ! who the great Rule of Sense observe , And ne're from their first Charter swerve . Happy ! whose lives are meerly to enjoy , And feel no stings of Sin , which may their bliss annoy . Still unconcern'd at Epithets of ill , or good , Distinctions , unadult'rate Nature never understood . 2. Hence hated Virtue from our goodly Isle , No more our joys beguile ; No more with thy loath'd presence plague our happy state , Thou enemy to all , that 's brisk , or gay , or brave or great . Be gone with all thy pious meagre Train , To some unfruitful , unfrequented Land , And there an Empire gain , And there extend thy rigorous command : There where illib'ral Nature's niggardise Has set a Tax on Vice. Where the lean barren Region does enhance The worth of dear Intemperance , And for each pleasurable sin exacts excise . We ( thanks to Fate ) more cheaply can offend , And want no tempting Luxuries , No good convenient sinning opportunities ; Which Nature's bounty could bestow , or Heaven's kindness lend . Go follow that nice Goddess to the Skies , Who heretofore disgusted at increasing Vice , Dislik'd the World , and thought it too profane , And timely hence retir'd , and kindly ne're return'd again . Hence to those Airy Mansions rove , Converse with Saints , and holy folks above ; Those may thy presence woo , Whose lazy ease affords them nothing else to do : Where haughty scornful I , And my great Friends will ne're vouchsafe thee company . Thou' rt now an hard , unpracticable good , Too difficult for flesh and blood : Were I all soul , like them , perhaps I 'd learn to practise thee . 3. Vertue ! thou solemn grave impertinence , Abhorr'd by all the Men of Wit , and Sense : Thoudamn'd Fatigue ! that clogst life's journey here , Though thou no weight of wealth or profit bear ; Thou pu●…ing fond Green-sickness of the mind ! That mak'st us prove to our own selves unkind , Whereby we Coals , and Dirt for diet chuse , And , Pleasur 's better food refuse . Curst Jilt ! that lead'st deluded Mortals on , Till they too late perceive themselves undone , Chous'd by a Dowry in reversion . The greatest Votary , thoue'e could boast , ( Pity so brave a Soul was on thy service lost ; What Wonders he in wickedness had done , Whom thy weak pow'r could so inspire alone ? ) Tho long with fond amours he courted thee , Yet dying , did recant his vain Idolatry : At length , though late , he did repent with shame , Forc'd to confess thee nothing , but an empty name . So was that Lecher gull'd , whose haughty love Design'd a Rape on the Queen Regent of the Gods above : When he a Goddess thought he had in chace He found a gaudy vapour in the place , And with thin Air beguil'd his starv'd embrace . Idly he spent his vigour , spent his blood , And tyr'd himself t' oblige an unperforming Cloud . 4. If Humane kind to thee e're Worship paid ; They were by ignorance misled , That only them devout , and thee a Goddess made . Known haply in the Worlds rude untaught infancy , Before it had out-grown its childish innocence , Before it had arriv'd at sense , Or reach'd the Man-hood , and discretion of Debauchery ; Known in those antient goodly duller times , When crafty Pagans had engross'd all crimes : When Christian Fools were obstinately good , Nor yet their Gospel-freedom understood . Tame easie Fops ! who could so prodigally bleed , To be thought Saints , and dye a Calendar with with red : No prudent Heathen e're seduc'd could be , To suffer Martyrdom for thee : Only that arrant Ass whom the false Oracle call'd Wise ( No wonder if the Devil utter'd lies ) That sniveling Puritan , who spite of all the mode Would be unfashionably good , And exercis'd his whining gifts to rail at Vice : Him all the Wits of Athens damn'd , And justly with Lampoons defam'd : But when the mad Fanatick , could not silenc'd be From broaching dang'rous Divinity ; The wise Republick made him for prevention die , And sent him to the Gods , and better company . 5. Let fumbling Age be grave , and wise , And Vertue 's poor contemn'd Idea prize , Who never knew , or now are past the sweets of Vice ; While we whose active pulses beat With lusty youth , and vigorous heat , Can all their Beards , and Morals too despise , While my plump veins are fill'd with lust and blood ; Let not one thought of her intrude , Or dare appoach my brest , But know 't is all possest By a more welcome guest : And know , I have not yet the leisure to be good . If ever unkind destiny Shall force long life on me ; If e're I must the curse of dotage bear ; Perhaps I 'll dedicate those dregs of Time to her , And come with Crutches her most humble Votary . When sprightly Vice retreats from hence , And quits the ruins of decayed sense ; She 'l serve to usher in a fair pretence , And varnish with her name a well-dissembled impotence , When Ptisick , Rheums , Catarrhs , and Palsies seize , And all the Bill of Maladies , Which Heaven to punish over-living Mortals sends ; Then let her enter with the numerous infirmities , Her self the greatest plague , which wrinkles , and grey hairs attends . 6. Tell me , ye Venerable Sots , who court her most , What small advantage can she boast , Which her great Rival hath not in a greater store ingrost . Her boasted calm , and peace of mind In Wine , and Company we better find , Find it with Pleasure too combin'd . In mighty Wine , where we our senses steep , And Lull our Cares , and Consciences asleep : But why do I that wild Chimaera name ? Conscience ! that giddy airy Dream , Which does from brain sick heads , or ill-digesting stomachs steam . Conscience ! the vain fantastick fear Of punishments , we know not when , nor where : Project of crafty Statesmen ▪ to support weak Law , Whereby they slavish Spirits awe , And dastard Souls to forc'd obedience draw . Grand Wheadle ! which our Gown'd Impostors use , The poor unthinking Rabble to abuse . Scarecrow ! to fright from the forbidden fruit of Vice , Their own beloved Paradise : Let those vile Canters wickedness decry , Whose Mercenary tongues take pay For what they say ; And yet commend in practice what their words deny , While we discerning Heads , who farther pry , Their holy Cheats defie And scorn their Frauds , and scorn their sanctified Cajoulery . 7. None but dull unbred Fools discredit Vice , Who act their wickedness with an ill grace ; Such their profession scandalize , And justly forfeit all that praise ; All that esteem , that credit , and applause , Which we by our wise menage from a sin can raise . A true , and brave transgressor ought To sin with the same height of spirit , Caesar fought : Mean-soul'd offenders now no honours gain , Only debauches of the nobler strain . Vice well-improv'd yields bliss , and fame beside , And some for sinning have been deifi'd . Thus the lewd Gods of old did move , By these brave methods to the seats above . Ev'n Jove himself , the Sovereign Deity , Father and King of all th' immortal Progeny , Ascended to that high Degree ; By crimes above the reach of weak Mortality . He Heav'n one large Seraglio made , Each Goddess turn'd a glorious Punk o' th trade ; And all that Sacred place Was fill'd with Bastard-Gods of his own race : Almighty Lech'ry got his first repute , And everlasting Whoring was his chiefest Attribute . 8. How gallant was that Wretch , whose happy guilt A Fame upon the Ruins of a Temple built ! ' Let Fools , said he , Impiety alledg , ' And urge the no great fault of Sacriledg : ' I 'll set the Sacred Pile on flame , ' And in its Ashes write my lasting Name , ' My name which thus shall be ' Deathless as its own Deity . ' Thus the vain-glorious Carian I 'll out-do , ' And Egypts proudest Monarchs too ; ' Those lavish Prodigals , who idly did consume ' Their Lives , and Treasures to erect a Tomb , ' And only great by being buried would become : ' At cheaper rates than they I 'll buy renown , ' And my loud Fame shall all their silent glories drown . So spake the daring Hector , so did Prophesie : And so it prov'd : in vain did envious Spite By fruitless methods try To raze his well-built Fame , and Memory Amongst Posterity : The Boutefeu can now Immortal write , While the inglorious Founder is forgotten quite . 9. Yet greater was that mighty Emperor ; ( A greater crime besitted his high Pow'r ) Who sacrific'd a City to a Jest , And shew'd he knew the grand intrigues of humor best : He made all Rome a Bonefire to his Fame , And sung , and play'd , and danc'd amidst the Flame ; Bravely begun ! yet pity there he stay'd , One step to Glory more he should have made : He should have heav'd the noble frolick higher , And made the People on the Fun'ral pile expire Or providently with their blood put out the Fire . Had this been done , The utmost pitch of glory he had won : No greater Monument could be To consecrate him to eternity , Nor should there need another Herald of his praise , but me . 10. And thou , yet greater Faux , the glory of our Isle , Whom baffled Hell esteems its chiefest Foyl ; 'T were injury should I omit thy name Whose Action merits all the breath of Fame . Methinks , I see the trembling shades below Around in humble reverence bow ; Doubtful they seem , whether to pay their Loyalty To their dread Monarch , or to thee : No wonder he ( grown jealous of thy fear'd success ) Envy'd Mankind the honour of thy wickedness , And spoil'd that brave attempt , which must have made his grandeur less . How e're regret not , mighty Ghost , Thy Plot by treach'rous fortune crost , Nor think thy well deserved glory lost . Thou the full praise of Villany shalt ever share , And all will judge thy Act , compleat enough , when thou could'st dare , So thy great Master far'd , whose high disdain Contemn'd that Heaven , where he could not Reign , When he with bold Ambition strove T' usurp the Throne above , And led against the Deity an armed Train , Tho from his vast designs he fell , O●…e power'd by his Almighty Foe , Yet gain'd he Victory in his overthrow : He gain'd sufficient Triumph , that he durst Rebel ; And 't was some pleasure to be thought the great'st in Hell. 11. Tell me , you great Triumvirate , what shall I do To be illustrious as you ? Let your examples move me with a gen'rous fire , Let them into my daring thoughts inspire Somewhat compleatly wicked , some vast Gyant-crime , Unknown , unheard , unthought of by all past and present time . 'T is done , 't is done ; Methinks , I feel the pow'rful charms , And a new heat of sin my spirit warms ; I travel with a glorious mischief , for whose birth , My Soul 's too narrow , and weak Fate too feeble to bring forth . Let the unpitied Vulgar tamely go , And stock for company , the wild Plantations down below : Such their vile Souls for viler Barter sell , Scarce worth the damning , or their room in Hell. We are his Grandees , and expect as much preferment there , For our good Service , as on Earth we share . In them sin is but a meer privative of good , The frailty , and defect of flesh and blood : In us 't is a perfection , who profess A studied , and elaborate wickedness : Weare the great Royal Society of Vice , Whose Talents are to make discoveries , And advance Sin like other Arts , and Sciences . 'T is I the bold Columbus only I , Who must new Worlds in Vice descry , And fix the pillars of unpassable iniquity . 12. How sneaking was the first debauch that sin'd Who for so small a Crime sold humane kind ! How undeserving that high place , To be thought Parent of our sin , and race , Who by low guilt our Nature doubly did debase ! Unworthy was he to be thought Father of the great first born Cain , which he begot ; The noble Cain , whose bold , and gallant act Proclaim'd him of more high extract : Unworthy me , And all the braver part of his Posterity . Had the just Fates design'd me in his stead ; I 'd done some great , and unexampled deed : A deed , which should decry The Stoicks dull Equality , And shew that sin admits transcendency : A deed , wherein the Tempter should not share Above what Heav'n could punish , and above what he could dare . For greater crimes than his I would have fell , And acted somewhat , which might merit more than Hell , An Apology for the foregoing Ode , by way of Epilogue . MY part is done , and you 'l , I hope , excuse Th' extravagance of a repenting Muse , Pardon what e're she hath too boldly said , She only acted here in Masquerade . For the slight Arguments she did produce , Were not to flatter Vice , but to traduce . So we Buffoons in Princely dress expose , Not to be gay , but more ridiculous . When she an Hector for her Subject had , She thought she must be Termagant , and mad : That made her speak like a lewd Punk o' th' Town , Who by converse with Bullies wicked grown , Has learn'd the Mode to cry all Virtue down . But now the Vizard 's off ; she changes Scene , And turns a modest civil Girl agen . Our Poet has a different taste of Wit , Nor will to common Vogue himself submit . Let some admire the Fops whose Talents lie In venting dull infipid Blasphemy ; He swears he cannot with those terms dispense , Nor will be damn'd for the repute of sense . Wit 's name was never to profaneness due , For then you see he could be witty too : He could Lampoon the State , and Libel Kings , But that he 's Loyal , and knows better things , Than Fame , whose guilty Birth from Treason springs . He likes not Wit , which can't a Licence claim , To which the Author dares not set his Name . Wit should be open , court each Reader 's eye , Not lurk in fly unprinted privacy . But Crim●…nal Writers like dull Birds of Night , For weakness , or for shame avoid the light ; May such a Jury for their Audience have , And from the Bench , not Pit , their doom receive . May they the Tow'r for their due merits share , And a just wreath of Hemp , not Laurel wear : He could be Bawdy too , and nick the times , In what they dearly love ; Damn'd placket Rhimes , Such as our Nobles write — Whose nauseous Poetry can reach no higher Than what the Codpiece , or its God inspire . So lewd , they spend at quill ; you 'd justly think ; They wrote with something nastier than Ink. But he still thought that little Wit , or none , Which a just modesty must never own , And a meer Reader with a Blush attone . If Ribauldry deserv'd the praise of Wit , He must resign to each illit'rate Citt , And Prentices , and Car-men challenge it . Ev'n they too can be smart , and witty there ; For all men on that Subject Poets are . Henceforth he vows , if ever more he find Himself to the base itch of Verse inclin'd ; If e're he 's given up so far to write ; He never means to make his end delight : Should he do so ; he must despair success : For he 's not now debauch'd enough to please , And must be damn'd for want of Wickedness . He 'l therefore use his Wit another way , And next the ugliness of Vice display . Tho against Vertue once he drew his Pen , He 'l ne're for ought , but her defence agen . Had he a Genius , and Poetick rage , Great as the Vices of this guilty Age. Were he all Gall , and arm'd with store of spight ; 'T were worth his pains to undertake to write ; To noble Satyr he 'd direct his aim , And by 't Mankind , and Poetry reclaim , He 'd shoot his Quills just like a Porcupine At Vice , and make them stab in every Line , The world should learn to blush , — And dread the Vengeance of his pointed Wit , Which worse than their own Consciences should fright , And all should think him Heav'ns just Plague , design'd To visit for the sins of lewd Mankind . THE PASSION OF BYBLIS IN Ovid's Metamorphosis Imitated in English. LONDON , Printed for Jo. Hindmarsh , 1685. THE Passion of Byblis OUT OF Ovid's Metamorphosis , B. 9. F. 11. Beginning at Byblis in exemplo est , ut ament concessa puellae . And ending with — Modumque Exit , & infelix committit saepe repelli . YOU heedless Maids , whose young , and tender hearts Unwounded yet , have scap'd the fatal darts ; Let the sad tale of wretched Byblis move , And learn by her to shun forbidden Love , Not all the plenty , all the bright resort Of gallant Youth , that grac'd the Carian Court , Could charm the hauty Nymph's disdainful heart , Or from a Brother's guilty Love divert ; Caunus she-lov'd , not as a Sister ought , But Honour , Blood , and Shame alike forgot : Caunus alone takes up her Thoughts , and Eyes , For him alone she wishes , grieves and sighs . At first her new-born Passion owns no name , A glim'ring Spark scarce kindling into flame ; She thinks it no offence , if from his Lip She snatch an harmless bliss , if her fond clip With loose embraces oft his Neck surround , And love is yet in debts of Nature drown'd . But Love at length grows naughty by degrees , And now she likes , and strives her self to please : Well-drest she comes , & arms her Eyes with darts , Her Smiles with charms , and all the studied arts Which practis'd Love can teach to vanquish hearts . Industrious now , she labours to be fair , And envies all , whoever fairer are . Yet knows she not , she loves , but still does grow , Insensibly the thing , she does not know : Strict honour yet her check'd desires does bind , And modest thoughts , on this side wish confin'd : Only within she sooths her pleasing flames , And now , the hated terms of Blood disclaims : Brother sounds harsh ; she the unpleasing word Strives to forget , and oftner calls him Lord : And when the name of Sister grates her ear , Could wish't unsaid , and rather Byblis hear . Nor dare she yet with waking thoughts admit A wanton hope : but when returning night With Sleep's soft gentle spell her Senses charms , Kind fancy often brings him to her Arms : In them she oft does the lov'd Shadow seem To grasp , and joys , yet blushes too in Dream . She wakes , and long in wonder silent lies , And thinks on her late pleasing Extasies : Now likes , and now abhors her guilty flame , By turns abandon'd to her Love , and Shame : At length her struggling thoughts an utt'rance find , And vent the wild disorders of her mind . " Ah me ! ( she cries ) kind Heaven avert ! what means " This boading form , that nightly rides my dreams ? " Grant 'em untrue ! why should lewd hope divine ? " Ah! why was this too charming Vision seen ? " 'T is true , by the most envious wretch , that sees , " He 's own'd all fair , and lovely , own'd a prize , " Worthy the conquest of the brightest eyes : " A prize that wou'd my high'st Ambition fill , " All I could wish ; — but he 's my brother still ! " That cruel word for ever must disjoyn , " Nor can I hope , but thus , to have him mine . " Since then I waking never must possess ; " Let me in sleep at least enjoy the bliss , " And sure nice Vertue can't forbid me this : " Kind sleep does no malicious spies admit , " Yet yields a lively semblance of delight : " Gods ! what a scene of joy was that ! how fast " I clasp'd the Vision to my panting breast ! " With what fierce bounds I sprung to meet my " bliss , " While my rapt soul flew out in every kiss ! " Till breathless , saint , and foftly sunk away , " I all dissolv'd in reeking pleasures lay ! " How sweet is the remembrance yet ! though night " Too hasty fled , drove on by envious light . " O that we might the Laws of Nature break ! " How well would Caunus me an Husband make ! " How well to Wise might he his Byblis take ! " Wou'd God! in all things we had partners bin " Besides our Parents , and our fatal Kin : " Wou'd thou wert nobler , I more meanly born , " Then guiltless I 'd despair'd , and suffer'd scorn : " Happy that Maid unknown , whoe're shall prove " so blest , so envied to deserve thy love . " Unhappy me ! whom the same womb did joyn , " Which now forbids me ever to be thine : " Curst fate ! that we alone in that agree , " By which we ever must divided be . " And must we be ? what meant my Vision then ? " Are they , and all their dear presages vain ? " Have Dreams no credit , but with easie love ? " Or do they hit sometimes , and faithful prove ? " The Gods forbid ! yet those whom I invoke , " Have lov'd like me , have their own Sisters took : " Great Saturn , and his greater Off-spring Iove , " Both stock'd their Heaven with Incestuous love : " Gods have their priviledge : why do I strive " To strain my Hopes to their Prerogative ? " No , let me banish this forbidden fire , " Or quench it with my Blood , and with 't expire : " Unstain'd in honour , and unhurt in fame , " Let the Grave bury my Love , and Shame : " But when at my last hour I gasping lie , " Let only my kind Murderer be by : " Let him , while I breath out my soul in sighs , " Or gaz't away , look on with pitying eyes : " Let him ( for sure he can't deny me this ) " Seal my cold Lips with one dear parting Kiss . " Besides , 't were vain should I alone agree " To what anothers Will must ratifie ; " Cou'd I be so abandon'd to consent ; " What I have pass for good and innocent , " He may perhaps as worst of Crimes resent . " Yet we amongst our Race examples find " Of Brothers , who have been to Sisters kind : " Fam'd Canace cou'd thus successful prove , " Cou'd Crown her wishes in a Brother's love . " But whence cou'd I these instances produce ? " How came I witty to my ruin thus ? " Whither will this mad frenzy hurry on ? " Hence , hence , you naughty flames , far hence be gone , " Nor let me e're the shameful Passion own . " And yet shou'd he address ; I shou'd forgive , " I fear , I fear , I shou'd his suit receive : " Shall therefore I , who cou'd not love disown " Offer'd by him , not mine to make him known ? " And canst thou speak ? can thy bold tongue declare ? " Yes , Love shall force : — and now methinks I dare . " But lest fond modesty at length refuse , " I will some sure , and better method chuse : " A Letter shall my secret flames disclose , " And hide my Blushes , but reveal their cause . This takes , and 't is resolv'd as soon as said , With this she rais'd her self upon her bed , And propping with her hand her leaning head : " Happen what will ( says she ) I 'll make him know " What pains , what raging pains I undergo : " Ah me ! I rave ! what tempests shake my breast ? " And where ? O where will this distraction rest ? Trembling , her Thoughts endite , and oft her Eye Looks back for fear of conscious spies too nigh : One hand her Paper , t'other holds her Pen , And Tears supply that Ink her Lines must drain . Now she begins , now stops , and stopping frames New doubts , now writes , and now her writing damns . She writes , defaces , alters , likes , and blames : Oft throws in hast her Pen , and Paper by , Then takes 'em up again as hastily : Unsteddy her resolves , fickle , and vain , No sooner made , but strait unmade again : What her desires would have , she does not know , Displeas'd withall , what e're she goes to do : At once contending , shame , and hope , and fear , Wrack her tost mind , and in her looks appear . Sister was wrote ; but soon misguiding doubt Recalls it , and the guilty word blots out . Again she pauses , and again begins , At length her Pen drops out these hasty Lines . " Kind health , which you , and only you can grant . " Which , if deny'd , she must for ever want ; " To you your Lover sends : ah ! blushing Shame " In silence bids her Paper hide her name : " Wou'd God the fatal Message might be done " Without annexing it , nor Byblis known , " E're blest success her hopes , and wishes crown . " And had I now my smother'd greif conceal'd , " It might by tokens past have been reveal'd : " A thousand proofs were ready to impart " The inward anguish of my wounded heart : " Oft , as your fight a sudden blush did raise , " My blood came up to meet you at my face : " Oft ( if you call to mind ) my longing Eyes " Betray'd in looks my souls too thin disguise : " Think how their Tears , think how my heaving Breast " Oft in deep sighs some cause unknown confest : " Think how these Arms did oft with fierce embrace , " Eager as my desires , about you press : " These Lips too , when they cou'd so happy prove , " ( ●…d you but mark'd ) with close warm kisses strove " To whisper something more than Sisters Love. " And yet , though rankling grief my mind distrest , " Tho raging flames within burn up my breast , " Long time I did the mighty pain endure , " Long strove to bring the fierce disease to cure : " Witness , ye cruel Pow'rs , who did inspire " This strange , this fatal , this resistless fire , " Witness , what pains ( for you alone can know ) " This helpless wretch to quench't did undergo : " A thousand Racks , and Martyrdoms , and more " Than a weak Virgin can be thought , I bore : " O'rematch'd in pow'r at last , I 'm forc'd to yield , " And to the conqu'ring God resign the field : " To you , dear cause of all , I make address , " From you with humble pray'rs I beg redress : " You rule alone my arbitrary fate , " And life , and death on your disposal wait : " Ordain , as you think fit ; deny , or grant , " Yet know no stranger is your suppliant . " But she , who , tho to you by Blood allied " In nearest bonds , in nearer wou'd be tied . " Let doting age debate of Law , and Right , " And gravely state the bounds of just , and fit ; " Whose Wisdom's but their Envy , to destroy " And bar those pleasures , which they can't enjoy : " Our blooming years , more sprightly , and more gay , " By Nature we 're design'd for love and play : " Youth knows no check , but leaps weak Vertu 's fence , " And briskly hunts the noble chase of Sense : " Without dull thinking we enjoyment trace , " And call that lawful , whatsoe're does please . " Nor will our guilt want instances alone , " 'T is what the glorious Gods above have done : " Let 's follow where those great examples went , " Nor think that Sin , where Heaven 's a precedent . " Let neither awe of Fathers frowns , nor shame " For ought that can be told by blabbing fame " Nor any gastlier fantom , fear can frame , " Frighten or stop us in our way to bliss , " But boldly let us rush on happiness : " Where glorious hazards shall enhanse delight , " And that , that makes it dangerous , make it great : " Relation too , which does our fault increase , " Will serve that fault the better to disguise ? " That lets us now in private often meet " Bless'd opportunities for stoln delight : " In publick often we embrace , and kiss , " And fear no jealous , no suspecting eyes . " How little more remains for me to crave ! " How little more for you to give ! O save " A wretched Maid undone by Love , and you , " Who does in tears , and dying accents sue ; " Who bleeds that Passion , she had ne're reveal'd , " If not by Love , Almighty Love compell'd : " Nor ever let her mournful Tomb complain , " Here Byblis lies , kill'd by your cold disdain . Here forc'd to end , for want of room , not will To add , her lines the crowded Margin fill , Nor space allow for more : she trembling , folds The Paper , which her shameful Message holds ; And sealing , as she wept with boading fear , She wet her Signet with a falling Tear. This done , a trusty Messenger she call'd , And in kind words the whisper'd Errand told : " Go , carry this with faithful care , she said , " To my dear , — there she paus'd a while , and staid , And by and by — Brother — was heard to add : As she deliver'd it with her commands , The Letter fell from out her trembling hands , Dismay'd with the ill Omen , she anew Doubted success , and held , yet bad him go . He goes , and after quick admission got To Caunus hands the fatal secret brought : Soon as the doubtful Youth a glance had cast On the first lines , and guest by them the rest , Strait horror , and amazement fill'd his breast : Impatient with his rage , he could not stay To see the end , but threw 't half read away : Scarce could his hands the trembling wretch forbear , Nor did his tongue those angry threatnings spare : " Fly hence , nor longer my chaf'd fury trust , " Thou cursed Pander of detested Lust ; " Fly quickly hence , and to thy swiftness owe " Thy life , a forfeit to my vengeance due : " Which , had not danger of my Honour crost , " thou 'dst paid by this , and been sent back a Ghost , He the rough orders strait obeys , and bears The killing news to wretched Byblis ears ; Like striking Thunder the fierce tidings stun , And to her heart quicker than lightning run : The frighted blood forsakes her ghastly face , And a short death doth every Member seize : But soon as sense returns , her frenzy too Returns , and in these words breaks forth anew . " And justly serv'd ; — for why did foolish I " Consent to make this rash discovery ? " Why did I thus in hasty lines reveal " That dang'rous secret , Honour wou'd conceal ? " I shou'd have first with art disguis'd the hook , " And seen how well the gawdy bait had took , " And found him hung at least before I strook : " From shore I shou'd have first descri'd the wind " Whether 't would prove to my adventure kind , " E're I to untry'd Seas my self resign'd : " Now dash'd on Rocks , unable to retire , " I must i' th wreck of all my hopes expire , " And was not I by tokens plain enough " Fore-warn'd to quit my inauspicious Love ? " Did not the Fates my ill success foretell , " When from my hands th' unhappy Letter fell ? " So should my hopes have done , and my design , " That , or the day should then have alter'd been ; " But rather the unlucky day ; when Heaven " Such ominous proofs of its dislike had given : " And so it had , had not mad Passion sway'd , " And Reason been by blinder Love misled . " Besides ( alas ! ) I shou'd my self have gone , " Nor made my Pen a proxy to my Tongue ; " Much more I cou'd have spoke , much more have told , " Than a short Letter 's narrow room would hold : " He might have seen my looks , my wishing Eyes " My melting Tears , and heard my begging Sighs ; " About his Neck I could have flung my Arms , " And been all over Love , all over Charms ; " Grasp'd , and hung on his Knees , and there have dyed , " There breath'd my gasping Soul out if denied : " This and ten thousand things I might have done " To make my Passion with advantage known ; " Which if they each could not have bent his mind , " Yet surely all had forc'd him to be kind . " Perhaps he , whom I sent , was too in fault , " Nor rightly tim'd his Message , as he ought ; " I fear he went in some ill-chosen hour , " When cloudy weather made his temper lour . " Not those calm seasons of the mind , which prove , " The fittest to receive the seeds of Love ; " These things have ruin'd me ; for doubtless he " Is made of humane flesh , and blood , like me ; " He suck'd no Tygress sure , nor Mountain Bear , " Nor does his Breast relentless Marble wear . " He must , he shall consent , again I 'll try , " And try again , if he again deny : " No scorn , no harsh repulse , or rough defeat " Shall ever my desire , or hopes rebate . " My earnest suits shall never give him rest , " While Life , and Love more durable , shall last : " Alive I 'll press , till breath in pray'rs be lost , " And after come a kind beseeching Ghost . " For , if I might , what I have done , recall , " The first point were , not to have don 't at all ; " But since 't is done , the second to be gain'd " Is now to have , what I have sought , attain'd : " For he , though I should now my wishes quit , " Can never my unchast attempts forget : " Should I desist , 't will be believ'd that I " By slightly asking , taught him to deny ; " Or that I tempted him with wily fraud , " And snares for his unwary honour laid : " Or , what I sent ( and the belief were just ) " Were not th' efforts of Love , but shameful Lust. " In fine , I now dare any thing that 's ill ; " I 've writ , I have solicited , my will " Has been debauch'd ; and shou'd I thus give out , " I cannot chast , and innocent be thought : " Much there is wanting still to be fulfill'd , " Much to my wish , but little to my guilt . She spoke ; but such is her unsetled mind , It 〈◊〉 from thought to thought , like veering wind , Now to this point , and now to that inclin'd : What she could wish had unattempted been : She strait is eager to attempt agen : What she repents , she acts ; and now le ts loose The reins to Love , nor any bounds allows , Repulse upon repulse umov'd she bears , And still sues on , while she her suit despairs . A SATYR Upon a WOMAN , who by her Falshood and Scorn was the Death of my Friend . NO she shall ne're escape , if Gods there be , Unless they perjur'd grow , and false as she ; Though no strange Judgment yet the Murd'ress seize To punish her , and quit the partial Skies : Though no revenging lightni●…g yet has flasht From thence , that might her criminal beauties blast : Tho they in their old lustre still prevail , By no disease , nor guilt it self made pale . Guilt , which should blackest Moors themselves but own , Would make through all their night new blushes dawn : Though that kind soul , who now augments the blest , Thither too soon by her unkindness chas'd . ( Where may it be her small'st , and lightest doom , ( For that 's not half my curse ) never to come ) Though he , when prompted by the high'st despair , Ne're mention'd her without an Hymn , or Prayer , And could by all her scorn be forc'd no more Than Martyrs to revile what they adore . Who , had he curst her with his dying breath ; Had done but just , and Heaven had forgave : Tho ill-made Law 〈◊〉 Sentence has ordain'd For her , no Statute has her Guilt arraign'd . ( For Hangmen , Womens Scorn , and Doctors skill , All by a licenc'd way of murder kill . ) Tho she from Justice of all these go free And boast perhaps in her success , and cry , 'T was but a little harmless perjury : Yet think she not , she still secure shall prove , Or that none dare avenge an injur'd Love : I rise in Judgement , am to be to her Both Witness , Judge , and Executioner : Arm'd with dire Satyr , and resentful spite , I come to haunt her with the ghosts of Wit. My Ink unbid starts out , and flies on her , Like blood upon some touching murderer : And shou'd that fail , rather than want , I wou'd , Like Haggs , to curse her , write in my own blood . Ye spightful pow'rs ( if any there can be , That boast a worse , and keener spite than I ) Assist with Malice , and your mighty aid My sworn Revenge , and help me Rhime her dead : Grant I may fix such brands of Infamy , So plain , so deeply grav'd on her , that she , Her Skill , Patches , nor Paint , all joyn'd can hide , And which shall lasting as her Soul abide : Grant my strong hate may such strong poison cast , That every breath may taint , and rot , and blast , Till one large Gangrene quite o'respread her fame With foul contagion ; till her odious name , Spit at , and curst by every mouth like mine , Be terror to her self , and all her line . Vilest of that viler Sex , who damn'd us all ! Ordain'd to cause , and plague us for , our fall ! WOMAN ! nay worse ! for she can nought be said , But Mummy by some Dev'l inhabited : Not made in Heaven's Mint , but base coin'd , She wears an humane image stampt on Fiend ; And whoso Marriage would with her contract , Is Witch by Law , and that a meer compact : Her Soul ( if any Soul in her there be ) By Hell was breath'd into her in a lye , And its whole stock of falshood there was lent , As if hereafter to be true it meant : Bawd Nature taught her jilting , when she made And by her make , design'd her for the trade : Hence 't was she daub'd her with a painted Face , That she at once might better cheat , and please : All those gay charming looks , that court the eye , Are but an ambush to hide treachery ; Mischief adorn'd with pomp , and smooth disguise , A painted skin stuff'd full of guile and lyes ; Within a gawdy Case , a nasty Soul , Like T — of quality in a gilt Close-stool : Such on a Cloud those flatt'ring colours are , Which only serve to dress a Tempest fair . So Men upon this Earth's fair surface dwell , Within are Fiends , and at the center Hell : Court-promises , the Leagues , which States-men make With more convenience , and more ease to break , The Faith , a Jesuit in allegiance swears , Or a Town-jilt to keeping Coxcombs bears , Are firm , and certain all , compar'd with hers : Early in falshood , at her Font she lied , And should ev'n then for Perjury been tried : Her Conscience stretch'd , and open as the Stews , But laughs at Oaths , and plays with solemn Vows . And at her mouth swallows down perjur'd breath , More glib than bits of Lechery beneath : Less serious known , when she doth most protest , Than thoughts of arrantest Buffoons in jest : More cheap , than the vile mercenariest Squire , That plies for Half-crown Fees at Westminster , And trades in staple ▪ Oaths , and Swears to hire : Less Guilt than hers , less breach of Oath , and Word Has stood aloft , and look'd through Penance board ; And he that trusts her in a Death-bed Prayer , Has Faith to merit , and save any thing , but her . But since her Guilt description does out-go ; I 'll try if it out-strip my Curses too ; Curses , which may they equal my just hate , My wish , and her desert , be each so great , Each heard like Pray'rs , and Heaven make 'em fate . First , for her Beauties , which the Mischief brought , May she affected , they be borrow'd thought , By her own hand , not that of Nature wrought : Her Credit , Honour , Portion , Health , and those Prove light , and frail , as her broke Faith , and Vows . Some base unnam'd Disease , her Carkass foul , And make her Body ugly , as her Soul. Cankers , and Ulcers eat her , till she be , Shun'd like Infection , loath'd like Infamy . Strength quite expir'd , may she alone retain The snuff of Life , may that unquench'd remain , As in the damn'd , to keep her fresh for pain : Hot Lust light on her , and the plague of Pride On that , this ever scorn'd , as that denied : Ach , Anguish , horror , grief , dishonour , shame Pursue at once her body , soul , and fame : If e're the Devil-love must enter her ( For nothing sure but Fiends can enter there ) May she a just and true tormenter find , And that like an ill ▪ conscience rack her mind : Be some Diseas'd , and ugly wretch her fate , She doom'd to love of one , whom all else hate . May he hate her , and may her destiny Be to despair , and yet love on , and die ; Or to invent some wittier punishment , May he , to plague her , out of spite consent ; May the old fumbler , though disabled quite , Have strength to give her Claps , but no delight : May he of her unjustly jealous be For one that 's worse ▪ and uglier far than he : May's Impotence ball●… , and torment her lust , Yet scarcely her to dreams , or wishes trust : Forc'd to be chast , may she suspected be , Share none o' th' Pleasure , all the Infamy . In●…e , that I all curses may compleat ( For I 've but curs'd in jest , ra●…llied y●… ) Whate're the Sex deserves , or feels , or fears , May all those plagues be hers , and only hers ; Whate're great Favourites turn'd out of doors , Scorn'd Lovers , bilk'd and disappointed Whores , Or losing Gamesters vent , what Curses e're Are spoke by sinners raving in despair : All those fall on her , as they 're all her due , Till spite can't think , nor Heav'n inflict anew : May then ( for once I will be kind , and pray ) No madness take her use of Sense away ; But may she in full strength of Reason be , To feel , and understand her misery ; Plagu'd so , till she think damning a release , And humbly pray to go to Hell for ease : Yet may not all these suff'rings here attone Her sin , and may she still go sinning on , Tick up in Perjury , and run o' th Score , Till on her Soul she can get trust no more ▪ Then may she Stupid , and Repentless die , And Heav'n it self forgive no more than I , But so be damn'd of meer necessit●… ; FINIS . SOME NEW PIECES Never before Publish'd . By the Author of the Satyrs upon the Jesuites . — Nos otia vitae Solamur cantu , ventosaque gaudia famae Quaerimus . — Stat. Sylv. LONDON : Printed by M. C. for Jo. Hindmarsh , Bookseller to his Royal Highness , at the Black Bull in Cornhil , 1684. ADVERTISEMENT . BEing to appear anew in the World , it may be expected , that I should say something concerning these ensuing Trisies , which I shall endeavour to do with as much briefness , as I did besore what I last published in this kind . I doubt not but the Reader will think me guilty of an high presumption in adventuring upon a Translation of The Art of Poetry , after two such great Hands as have gone before me in the same attempts : I need not acquaint him , that I mean Ben Johnson , and the Earl of Roscommon , the one being of so establish'd an Authority , that whatever he did is held as Sacred , the other having lately performed it with such admirable success , as almost cuts off all hope in any after Pretenders of ever coming up to what he has eone . Howbeit , when I let him kn●…w , that it was a Task imposed upon me , and not what I voluntarily engaged in ; I hope he will be the more favourable in his Censures . I would indeed very willingly have wav'd the undertaking upon the forementioned account , and urged it as a reason for my declining the same , but it would not be allowed as sufficient to excuse me therefrom . Wherefore , being prevailed upon to make an Essay . I fell to thinking of some course , whereby I might serve my self of the Advantages , which those that went before me , have either not minded , or scrupulously abridged themselves of . This I soon imagined was to be effected by putting Horace into a more modern dress , than hitherto he has appeared in , that is by making him speak , as if he were living , and writing now . I therefore resolved to alter the Scene from Rome to London , and to make use of English names of Men , Places , and Customs , where the Parallel would decently permit , which I conceived would give a kind of new Air to the Poem , and render it more agreeable to the rellish of the present Age. With these Considerations I set upon the Work , and pursued it accordingly . I have not , I acknowledg , been ever-nice in keeping to the words of the Original , for that were to transgress a Rule therein contained . Nevertheless I have been religiously strict to its sense , and express'd it in as plain , and intelligible a manner , as the Subject would bear . Where I may be thought to have varied from it ( which is not above once or twi●…e , and in Passages not much material ) the skilful Reader will perceive 't was necessary for carrying on my proposed design , and the Author himself , were he again alive , would ( I believe ) forgive me . I have been careful to avoid stiffness , and made it my endeavour to hit ( as near as I could ) the easie and familiar way of writing , which is peculiar to Horace in his Epistles , and was his proper Talent above any of mankind . After all , 't is humbly submitted to the judgment of the truly knowing , how I have acquitted my self herein . Let the success be what it will , I shall not however wholly repent of my undertaking , being ( I reckon ) in some measure recompenced for my pains by the advantage I have reaped of fixing these admirable Rules of Sense so well in my memory . The Satyr and Odes of the Author , which follow next in order , I have translated after the same libertine way . In them also I labour'd under the disadvantages of coming after other persons . The Satyr had been made into a Scene by Ben Johnson , in a Play of his , called the Poetaster . After I had finished my imitation thereof , I came to learn , that it had been done likewise by Dr. Sprat , and since I have had the sight of it amongst the Printed Translations of Horace 's Works . The Odes are there done too , but not so excellently well , as , to discourage any farther endeavours . If these of mine meet with good entertainment in the world , I may perhaps find leisure to attempt some other of them , which at present suffer as much from their Translaters , as the Psalms of David from Sternhold and Hopkins . The two sacred Odes I designed not to have made publick now , forasmuch as they might seem unfit to appear among Subjects of this nature , and were intended to come forth apart hereafter in company of others of their own kind . But , having suffer'd Copies of them to straggle abroad in Manuscript , and remembring the Fate of some other Pieces of mine , which have formerly stoln into the Press without my leave , or knowledg , and be exposed to the world abominably false and uncorrect ; to prevent the same misfortune likely en●…ugh to befal these , I have been persuaded to yield my consent to their Publishing amongst the rest . Nor is the Printing of such Miscellanies altogether so unpresidented , but that it may be seen in the Editions of Dr. Donne , and Mr. Cowley 's Works , whether done by their own appointment , or the sole direction of the Stationers , I am not able to determine . As for the two Essays out of Greek , they were occasioned by a report , that some persons found fault with the roughness of my Satyrs formerly published , tho , upon what ground they should do it , I could be glad to be informed . Unless I am mistaken , there are not many Lines but will endure the reading without shocking any Hearer , that is not too nice , and censorious . I confess , I did not so much mind the Cadence , as the Sense and expressiveness of my words , and therefore chose not those , which were best disposed to placing themselves in Rhyme , but rather the most keen , and tuant , as being the most sutable to my Argument . And certainly no one that pretends to distinguish the several Colours of Poetry , would expect that Juvenal , when he is lashing of Vice and Villany , should flow so smoothly , as Ovid , or Tibullus , when they are describing Amours and Gallantries , and have nothing to disturb and ruffle the evenness of their Stile . Howbeit , to shew that the way I took , was out of choice , not want of judgment , and that my Genius is not wholly uncapa●…e of performing upon more gay and agreeable Subjects , if my humour inclined me to exercise it , I have pitch'd upon these two , which the greatestmen of sense have allowed to be some of the softest and tenderest of all Antiquity . Nay , if we will believe Rapine , one of the best Criticks which these latter Ages have produced ; they have no other fault , than that they are too exquisitely delicate for the Character of Pastoral , which should not seem too laboured , and w●…ose chief beauty is an unaffected air of plainness and simplicity . That , which laments the Death of Adonis has been attempted in Latine by several great Masters , namely , Vulcanius , Douza , and Monsieur le Fevre . The last of them has done it Paraphrastically , but left good part of the Poem toward the latter end untouch'd , perhaps because he thought it not so capable of Ornament , as the rest . Him I chiefly chose to follow , as being most agreeable to my way of translating , and where I was at a loss for want of his guidance , I was content to steer by my own Fancy . The Translation of that upon Bion was begun by another Hand , as far as the first fifteen Verses , but who was the Author I could never yet learn. I have been told that they were done by the Earl of Rochester ; but I could not well believe it , both because he seldom medled with such Subjects , and more especially by reason of an uncorrect line , or two to be found amongst them , at their first coming to my hands , which never us'd to flow from his excellent Pen. Conceiving it to be in the Original , a piece of as much Art , Grace , and Tenderness , as perhaps was ever offered to the Ashes of a Poet , I thought fit to dedicate it to the memory of that incomparable Person , of whom nothing can be said , or thought so choice and curious , which his Deserts do not surmount . If it be thought mean to have borrowed the sense of another to praise him in , yet at least it argues at the same time a value and reverence , that I durst not think any thing of my own good enough for his Commendation . This is all , which I judg material to be said of these following Resveries . As for what others are to be found in the parcel , I reckon them not worth mentioning in particular , but leave them wholly open and unguarded to the mercy o●… the Reader ; let him make his Attaques how , and where he please . HORACE His ART of POETRY , Imitated in English. Address'd by way of Letter to a Friend . SHould some ill Painter in a wild design To a mans Head an Horses shoulders joyn , Or Fishes Tail to a fair Womans Was●… Or draw the Limbs of many a different Beast , Ill match'd , and with as motly Feathers drest ; If you by chance were to pass by his Shop ; Could you forbear from laughing at the Fop , And not believe him whimsical , or mad ? Credit me , Sir ; that Book is quite as bad , As worthy laughter , which throughout is fill'd With monstrous inconsistencies , more vain , and wild Than sick mensDreams , whose neither head , nor tail , Nor any parts in due proportion fall . But 't will be said , None ever did deny Painters and Poets their free liberty Of feigning any thing : We grant it true , And the same privilege crave and allow : But to mix natures clearly opposite , To make the Serpent and the Dove unite , Or Lambs from savage Tygers seek defence , Shocks Reason , and the Rules of common Sense . Some , who would have us think they meant to treat At first on Arguments of greatest weight , Are 〈◊〉 , when here and there a glittering line Does through the mass of their coarse rubbish shine : In gay digtessions they delight to rove , Describing here a Temple , there a Grove , A Vale enamel'd o're with pleasant streams , A painted Rainbow , or the gliding Thames . But how does this relate to their design ? Though good elsewhere , 't is here but foisted in . A common Dawber may perhaps have skill To paint a Tavern Sign , or Landskip well : But what is this to drawing of a Fight , A Wrack , a Storm , or the last Judgment right ? When the fair Model , and Foundation shews , That you some great Escurial would produce , How comes it dwindled to a Cottage thus ? In fine , whatever work you mean to frame , Be uniform , and every where the same . Most Poets , Sir , ( 't is easie to observe ) Into the worst of faults are apt to swerve Through a false hope of reaching excellence : Avoiding length , we often cramp our Sense , And make 't obscure ; oft , when we'd have our stile Easie , and flowing , lose its force the while : Some , striving to surmount the common flight , Soar up in airy Bombast out of sight . Others , who fear to a bold pitch to trust Themselves , flag low , and humbly sweep the dust : And many fond of seeming marvellous , While they too carelesly transgress the Laws Of likelihood , most odd Chimeras feign , Dolphins in Woods , and Boars upon the Main . Thus they , who would take aim , but want the skill , Miss always , and shoot wide , or narrow still . One of the meanest Workmen in the Town Can imitate the Nails , or Hair in Stone , And to the life enough perhaps , who yet Wants mastery to make the Work complete : Troth , Sir , if 't were my fancy to compose , Rather than be this bungling wretch , I 'd choos●… To wear a crooked and unsightly Nose Mongst other handsom features of a Face Which only would set off my ugliness . Be sure all you that undertake to write , To chuse a Subject for your Genius fit : Try long and often what your Talents are ; What is the burthen , which your parts will bear , And where they 'l fail : he that discerns with skill To ●…ull his Argument , and matter well , Will never be to seek for Eloquence To dress , or method to dispose his Sense . They the chief Art , and Grace in order show ( If I may claim any pretence to know ) Who time discreetly what 's to be discours'd , What should be said at last , and what at first : Some passages at present may be heard , Others till afterward are best deferr'd : Verse , which disdains the Laws of History , Speaks things not as they are , but ought to be : Whoever will in Poetry excel , Must learn , and use this hidden secret well . 'T is next to be observ'd , that care is due , And sparingness in framing words anew : You shew your mast'ry , if you have the knack So to make use of what known word you take , To give 't a newer sense : if there be need For some uncommon matter to be said ; Pow'r of inventing terms may be allow'd , Which Chaucer and his Age ne're understood : Provided always , as 't was said before , We seldom , and discreetly use that pow'r . Words new and forein may be best brought in , If borrow'd from a Language near akin : Why should the peevish Criticks now forbid To Lee , and Dryden , what was not deny'd To Shakespear , Ben , and Fletcher heretofore , For which they praise , and commendation bore ? If Spencer's Muse be justly so ador'd For that rich copiousness , wherewith he stor'd Our Native Tongue ; for Gods sake why should I Straight be thought arrogant ; if modestly I claim and use the self-same liberty ? This the just Right of Poets ever was , And will be still , to coin what words they please , Well fitted to the present Age , and Place , Words with the Leaves of Trees a semblance hold In this respect , where every year the old Fall off , and new ones in their places grow : Death is the Fate of all things here below : Nature herself by Art has changes felt , The Tangier Mole ( by our great Monarch built ) Like a vast Bulwark in the Ocean set , From Pyrates and from Storms defends our Fleet : Fens every day are drain'd , and Men now Plow , And ●…ow , and Reap , where they before might Row , And Rivers have been taught by Middleton From their old course within new Banks to run , And pay their useful Tribute to the Town . If Mans and Natures works submit to Fate , Much less must words expect a lasting date : Many which we approve for currant now , In the next Age out of request shall grow : And others which are now thrown out of doors , Shall be reviv'd , and come again in force , If custom please : from whence their vogue they draw , Which of our Speech is the sole Judg , and Law. Homer first shew'd us in Heroick strains To write of Wars , of Battles and Campaigns , Kings and great Leaders , mighty in Renown , And him we still for our chief Pattern own , Soft Elegy , design'd for grief , and tears , Was first devis'd to grace some mournful Herse : Since to a brisker note 't is taught to move , And cloaths our gayest Passions , Joy , and Love. But , who was first Inventer of the kind , Criticks have sought , but never yet could find . Gods , Heroes , Warriors , and the losty praise Of peaceful Conquerors in Pisa's Race , The Mirth and Joys , which Love and Wine produce , With other wanton sallies of a Muse , The stately Ode does for its Subjects choose . Archilochus to vent his Gall and spite , In keen Iambicks first was known to write : Dramatick Authors us'd this sort of Verse On all the Greek and Roman Theaters , As for Discourse and Conversation fit , And ap●…'st to drown the noises of the Pit , If I discern not the true stile and air , Nor how to give the proper Character To every kind of work ; how dare I claim , And challenge to my self a Poets Name ? And why had I with awkard modesty , Rather than learn , always unskilful be ? Volp●…ne and M●…rose will not admit Of Catiline's high strains , nor is it fit To make Sejanus on the Stage appear In the low dress , which Comick persons wear . What e're the Subject be , on which you write , Give each thing its due place , and time aright : Yet Comedy sometimes may raise her stile , And angry Chremes is allow'd to swell , And Tragedy alike sometimes has leave To throw off Majesty , when 't is to grieve : Peleus and Telephus in misery , Lay their big words , and blust'ring language by , If they expect to make their Audience cry . 'T is not enough to have your Plays succeed ; That they be elegant : they must not need Those warm and moving touches which impart A kind con●…rnment to each Hearers heart , And ravish it which way they please with art . Where Joy and Sorrow put on good disguise , Ours with the persons looks straight sympathize : Would'st have me weep ? thy self must first begin : Then , Telephus , to pity I incline , And think thy case , and all thy suff●…rings mine ; But if thou' rt made to act thy part amiss , I can't forbear to sleep , or laugh , or hiss , Let words express the looks , which speakers wear ; Sad , fit a mournful , and dejected air ; The passionate must huff , and storm , and rave ; The gay be pleasant , and the serious grave . For Nature works , and moulds our Frame within , To take all manner of Impressions in . Now makes us hot , and ready to take fire , Now hope , now joy , now sorrow does inspire , And all these passions in our face appear , Of which the Tongue is sole interpreter : But he whose words , and Fortunes do not suit , By Pit and Gall'ty both , is hooted out . Observe what Characters your persons fit , Whether the Master speak , or Todelet : Whether a man , that 's elderly in growth , Or a brisk Hotspur in his boiling youth : A roaring Bully , or a shirking Cheat , A Court-bred Lady , or a tawdry Cit : A prating Gossip , or a jilting Whore , A travell'd Merchant , or an home spun Boor : Spaniard , or French , Italian , Dutch , or Dane ; Native of Turky , India , or Japan . Either from History your persons take , Or let them nothing inconsistent speak : If you bring great Achilles on the Stage , Let him be fierce and brave , all heat and rage , Inflexible , and head-strong to all Laws , But those , which Arms and his own will impose . Cruel Medea must no pity have , Ixion must be treacherous , Ino grieve , Io must wander , and Orestes rave , But if you dare to tread in paths unknown , And boldly start new persons of your own ; Be sure to make them in one strain agree , And let the end like the beginning be . 'T is difficult for Writers to succeed On Arguments , which none before have tri'd : The Iliad , or the Odyssee with ease Will better furnish Subjects for your Plays , Than that you should your own Invention trust , And broath unheard of things your self the first . In copying others works , to make them pass , And seem your own , let these few Rules take place : When you some of the●…r Story represent , Take care that you new Episodes invent : Be not too nice the Authors words to trace , But vary all with a fresh air , and grace ; Nor such strict rules of imitation choose , Which you must still be tied to follow close , Or forc'd to a retreat for want of room , Give over , and ridiculous become : Do not like that affected Fool begin , King Priam's Fate , and Troy's fam'd War , I sing . What will this mighty Promiser produce ? You look for Mountains , and out creeps a Mouse . How short is this of Homer's fine Address , And Art , who ne're says any thing amiss ? Muse , speak the man , Who since Troy 's laying waste Into such numerous Dangers has been cast , So many Towns , and various People past : He does not lavish at a blaze his Fire , To glare a while , and in a Snuff expire : But modesty at first conceals his light , In dazling wonders , then breaks forth to sight ; Surprizes you with Miracles all o're , Makes dreadful Scylla and Charybdis roar , Cyclops , and bloudy Lestrygons devour : Nor does he time in long Preambles spend , Describing Meleager's rusul end , When he 's of Di●…ed's return to treat ; Nor when he would the Trojan War relare , The Tale of brooding Leda's Eggs repeat . But still to the design'd event hastes on , And at first dash , as if before 't were known , Embarques you in the middle of the Plot , And what is unimprovable leaves out , And mixes Truth and Fiction skilfully , That nothing in the whole may disagree . Who e're you are , that set your selves to write , If you expect to have your Audience sit Till the fifth Act be done , and Curtain fall ; Mind what Instructions I shall further tell : Our Guise , and Manners alter with our Age , And such they must be brought upon the Stage . A Child , who newly has to Speech attain'd , And now can go without the Nurses hand , To play with those of his own growth is pleas'd , Suddenly angry , and as soon appeas'd , Fond of new Trifles , and as quickly cloy'd , And loaths next hour what he the last enjoy'd . The beardless Youth from Pedagogue got loose ; Does Dogs and Horses for his pleasures choose ; Yielding , and soft to every print of vice , Resty to those who would his faults chastise , Careless of Profit , of expences vain , Haughty , and eager his desires t' obtain . And swift to quit the same desires again . Those , who to manly years , and sense are grown , Seek Wealth and Friendship , Honour and Renown : And are discreet , and fearful how to act What after they must alter and correct . Diseases , Ills , and Troubles numberless Attend old Men , and with their Age increase : In painful toil they spend their wretched years , Still heaping Wealth , and with that wealth new cares : Fond to possess , and fearful to enjoy , Slow , and suspicious in their managry , Full of Delays , and Hopes , lovers of ease , Greedy of life , morose , and hard to please , Envious at Pleasures of the young and gay ; Where they themselves now want a stock to play ; Ill natur'd Censors of the present Age , And what has past since they have quit the Stage : But loud Admirers of Queen Besse's time , And what was done when they were in their prime . Thus , what our tide of flowing years brings in , Still with our ebb of life goes out agen : The humors of Fourscore will never hit One of Fifteen , nor a Boy 's part befit A full-grown man : it shews no mean Address , If you the tempers of each Age express . Some things are best to act , others to tell ; Those by the ear convey'd , do not so well , Nor half so movingly affect the mind , As what we to our eyes presented find . Yet there are many things , which should not come In view , nor pass beyond the Tiring Room : Which , after in expressive Language told , Shall please the Audience more , than to behold : Let not Medea shew her fatal rage , And cut her Childrens Throats upon the Stage : Nor Oedipus tear out his eye balls there , Nor bloudy Atreus his dire Feast prepare : Cadmus , nor Progne their odd changes take , This to a Bird , the other to a Snake : Whatever so incredible you show , Shocks my Belief , and straight does nauseous grow . Five Acts , no more , nor less , your Play must have , If you 'l an handsom Third Days share receive . Let not a God be summon'd to attend On a slight errand , nor on Wire des●…end , Unless th' importance of the Plot engage ; And let but Three at once speak on the Stage . Be sure to make the Chorus still promote The chief Intrigue and business of the Plot : Betwixt the Acts there must be nothing Sung , Which does not to the main Design belong : The praises of the Good must here be told ; The Passions curb'd , and foes of Vice extoll'd : Here Thrift and Temperance , and wholesome Laws , Strict Justice , and the gentle calms of Peace Must have their Commendations , and Applause : And Prayers must be sent to Heaven to guide Blind Fortunes blessings to the juster side , To raise the Poor , and lower prosp'rous Pride . At first the Musick of our Stage was rude , Whilst in the Cock-Pit and Black Friers it stood : And this might please enough in former Reigns , A thrifty , thin , and bashful Audience : When Bussy d' Ambois and his Fustian took , And men were ravish'd with Queen Gordobuc . But since our Monarch by kind Heaven sent , Brought back the Arts with him from Banishment , And by his gentle influence gave increase To all the harmless Luxuries of peace : Favour'd by him , our Stage has flourish'd too , And every day in outward splendor grew : In Musick , Song , and Dance of every kind , And all the grace of Action 't is tefin'd ; And since that Opera's at length came in , Our Players have so well improv'd the Scene With gallantry of Habit , and Machine , As makes our Theater in Glory vie With the best Ages of Antiquity : And mighty Roscius were heliving now , Would envy both our Stage , and Acting too . Those , who did first in Tragedy essay ( When a vile Goat was all the Poets day ) Us'd to allay their Subjects gravity With enterludes of Mirth , and Raillery : Here they brought rough , and naked Satyrs in , Whose Farce-like Gesture , Motion , Speech , and Meen Resemble those of modern Harlequin . Because such antick Tricks , and odd grimace , After their drunken Feasts on Holidays , The giddy and hot headed Rout would please ; As the wild Feats of Merry Andrews now Divert the sensless Crowd at Bartholmew . But he , that would in this Mock-way excel , And exercise the Art of Railing well , Had need with diligence observe this Rule In turning serious things to ridicule : If he an Hero , or a God bring in , With Kingly Robes and Scepter lately seen , Let them not speak , like Burlesque Characters , The wit of Billingsgate and Temple-stairs : Nor , while they of those meannesses beware , In tearing lines of Bajazet appear . Majestick Tragedy as much disdains To condescend to low , and trivial strains : As a Court-Lady thinks her self disgrac'd To Dance with Dowdies at a May-pole-Feast . If in this kind you will attempt to write , You must no broad and clownish words admit : Nor must you fo confound your Characters , As not to mind what person 't is appears . Take a known Subject , and invent it well , And let your stile be smooth and natural : Though others think it easie to attain , They 'l find it hard , and imitate in vain : So much does method and connexion grace The common'st things , the plainest matters raise . In my opinion 't is absurd and odd , To make wild Satyrs , coming from the Wood , Speak the fine Language of the Park and Mall , As if they had their Training at ' Whitehall : Yet , tho I would not have their Words too quaint , Much less can I allow them impudent : For men of Breeding , and of Quality Must needs be shock'd with sulsom Ribaldry : Which , though it pass the Footboy and the Cit , Is always nauscous to the Box , and Pit. There are but few , who have such skilful ears To judg of artless , and ill measured Verse . This till of late was hardly understood , And still ▪ there 's too much liberty allow'd . But will you therefore be so much a fool To write at random , and neglect a Rule ? Or , while your faults are set to general view , Hope all men should be blind , or pardon you ? Who would not such sool hardiness condemn , Where , tho perchance you may escape from blame . Yet praise you never can expect , or claim ? Therefore be sure your study to apply To the great patterns of Antiquity : Ne're lay the Greeks and Romans out of sight , Ply them by day , and think on them by night . Rough hobbling numbers were allow'd for Rhime , And clench for deep conceit in former time : With too much patience ( not to call it worse ) Both were applauded in our Ancestors : If you , or I have sense to judg aright Betwixt a Quibble , and true sterling Wit : Or ear enough to give the difference Of sweet well-sounding Verse from doggrel strains . Thespis ( 't is said ) did Tragedy devise , Unknown besore , and rude at its first rise : In Carts the Gypsie Actors strowl'd about , With faces smear'd with Lees of Wine and Soot , And through the Towns amus'd the wondring rout Till AEschylus appearing to the Age , Contriv'd a Play house , and convenient Stage . Found out the use of Vizards , and a Dress ( An handsomer , and more gentile Disguise ) And taught the Actors with a stately Air , And Meen to speak , and Tread , and whatsoe're Gave Port , and grandeur to the Theater . Next this succeeded ancient Comedy , With good applause , till too much liberty Usurp'd by Writers had debauch'd the Stage , And made it grow the Grievance of the Age : No merit was seoure , no person free From its licentious Buffoonery : Till for redress the Magistrate was fain By Law those Insolencies to restrain . Our Authors in each kind their praise may claim , Who leave no paths untrod , that lead to fame : And well they merit it , who scorn'd to be So much the Vassals of Antiquity , As those , who know no better than to cloy With the old musty Tales of Thebes and Troy : But boldly the dull beaten track forsook , And Subjects from our Country story took . Nor would our Nation less in Wit appear , Than in its great performances of War ; Were there encouragements to bribe our care , Would we to file , and finish spare the pains , And add but justness to our manly sense . But , Sir , let nothing tempt you to bely Your skill , and judgment , by mean flattery : Never pretend to like a piece of Wit , But what , you 're certain , is correctly writ : But what has stood all Tests , and is allow'd By all to be unquestionably good . Because some wild Enthusiasts there be Who bar the Rules of Art in Poetry . Would have it rapture all , and scarce admit A man of sober sense to be a Wit ; Others by this conceit have been misled So much , that they 're grown statu●…ably mad : The Sots affect to be retir'd alone . Court Solitude and Conversation shun , In dirty Cloaths , and a wild Garb appear , And scarce are brought to cut their Nails and Hair. And hope to purchace credit and esteem , When they , like Cromwel's Porter , frantick seem , Strange ! that they very height of Lunacy , Beyond the cure of Alle●… , e're should be A mark of the Elect in Poetry . How much as Ass am I that us'd to Bleed , And take a Purge each Spring to clear my Head ? None otherwise would be so good as I , At lofty strains , and rants of Poetry : ) But , faith , I am not yet so fond of Fame , To lose my Reason for a Poets name . Tho I my self am not dispos'd to write ; In others I may serve to sharpen Wit : Acquaint them what a Poet's duty is , And how he shall perform it with success : Whence the materials for his work are sought , And how with skilful Art they must be wrought : And shew what is and is not decency , And where his faults and excellencies lie . Good sense must be the certain standard still To all that will pretend to writing well : If you 'l arrive at that , you needs must be Well vers'd and grounded in Philosophy : Then choose a Subject , which you throughly know , And words unsought thereon will easie flow . Whoe're will write , must diligently mind The several sorts and ranks of humane kind : He that has learnt , what to his Country's due , What we to Parents , Friends , and Kindred owe , What charge a Statesman , or a Judg does bear , And what the parts of a Commander are ; Will never be at loss ( he may be sure ) To give each person their due portraiture . Take humane life for your original , Keep but your Draughts to that , you 'l never fail . Sometimes in Plays , though else but badly writ With nought of Force , or Grace , of Art , or Wit , Some one well humour'd Character we meet , That takes us more than all the empty Scenes , And jingling toys of more elaborate Pens . Greece had command of Language , Wit and Sense , For cultivating which she spar'd no pains : Glory her sole design , and all her aim Was how to gain here self immortal Fame : Our English Youth another way are bred , They 're fitted for a Prentiship , and Trade , And Wingate's all the Authors , which they 've read . The Boy has been a year at Writing-School , Has learnt Division , and the Golden Rule ; Scholar enough ! cries the old doting Fool , I 'll hold a Piece , he 'l prove an Alderman , And come to sit at Church with 's Furs and Chain . This is the top design , the only praise , And sole ambition of the booby Race : While this base spirit in the Age does reign , And men might nought but Wealth and sordid gain , Can we expect or hope it should bring forth A work in Poetry of any worth , Fit for the learned Bodley to admit Among its Sacred Monuments of Wit ? A Poet should inform us , or divert , But joyning both he shews his chiefest Art : Whatever Precepts you pretend to give , Be sure to lay them down both clear and brief : By that they 're easier far to apprehend , By this more faithfully preserv'd in mind : All things superfluous are apt to cloy The Judgment , and surcharge the Memory . Let whatsoe'r of Fiction you bring in , Be so like Truth , to seem at least akin : Do not improbabilities conceive , And hope to ram them into my belief : Ne're make a Witch upon the Stage appear , Riding enchanted Broomstick through the Air : Nor Canibal a living Infant spew , Which he had murther'd , and devout'd but now . The graver sort dislike all Poetry , Which does not ( as they call it ) edifie : And youthful sparks as much that Wit dispise , Which is not strew'd with pleasant Gaieties . But he , that has the knack of mingling well What is of use with what 's agreeable , That knows at once how to instruct and please , Is justly crown'd by all mens suffrages : These are the works , which valued every where , Enrich Paul's Church-yard and the Stationer : These admiration through all Nations claim , And through all Ages spread their Author's Fame . Yet there are faults wherewith we ought to bear ; An Instrument may sometimes chance to jar In the best hand , in spight of all its care : Nor have I known that skilful Marks-man yet So fortunate , who never mist the White . But where I many excellencies find , I 'm not so nicely critical to mind Each slight mistake an Author may produce , Which humane frailty justly may excuse . Yet he , who having oft been taught to mend A Fault , will still pursue it to the end , Is like that scraping Fool , who the same Note Is ever playing . and is ever out , And silly as that bubble every whit , Who at the self-same blot is always hit . When such a lewd incorrigible sot Lucks by meer chance upon some happy thought ; Among such filthy trash , I vex to see 't , And wonder how ( the Devil ! ) he came by 't . In works of bulk and length we now and then May grant an Author to be overseen : Homer himself , how sacred e're he is , Yet claims not a pretence to Faultlesness . Poems with Pictures a resemblance bear ; Some ( best at distance ) shun a view too near : Others are bolder , and stand off to sight ; These love the shade , those choose the clearest light , And dare the survey of the skilfull'st eyes : Some once , and some ten thousand times will please . Sir , though your self so much of knowledg own In these affairs , that you can learn of none , Yet mind this certain truth which I lay down : Most Callings else do difference allow , Where ordinary Parts , and Skill may do : I 've known Physicians , who respect might claim , Tho they ne're rose to Willis his great fame : And there are Preachers who have great renown . Yet ne're come up to Sprat , or Tillotson : And Counsellors , or Pleaders in the Hall May have esteem , and practice , tho they fall Far short of smooth-tongu'd Finch in Eloquence , Tho they want Selden's Learning , Vaughan's sense , But Verse alone does of no mean admit , Whoe're will please , must please us to the height : He must a Cowley or a Fleckno be , For there 's no second Rate in Poetry : A dull insipid Writer none can bear , In every place he is the publick jeer , And Lumber of the Shops and Stationer . No man that understands to make a Feast , With a coarse Dessert will offend his Guest , Or bring ill Musick in to grate the ear , Because 't is what the entertain might spare : 'T is the same case with those that deal in Wit , Whose main design and end should be delight : They must by this same sentence stand , or fall , Be highly excellent , or not at all . In all things else , save only Poetry , Men shew some signs of common modesty : You 'l hardly find a Fencer so unwise , Who at Bear-garden e're will fight a Prize , Not having learnt before : nor at a Wake One , that wants skill and strength , the Girdle take , Or be so vain the pond'rous Weight to sling , For fear they should be hiss'd out of the Ring . Yet every Coxcomb will pretend to Verse , And write in spight of nature , and his Stars : All sorts of Subjects challenge at this time The Liberty , and Property of Rhime . The Sot of honour , fond of being great By something else than Title , and Estate , As if a Patent gave him claim to sense , O●… 't were entail'd with an Inheritance , Believes a cast of Foot-boys , and a set Of Flanders must advance him to a Wit. But you who have the judgment to descry Where you excel , which way your Talents lie , I 'm sure , will never be induc'd to strain Your Genius , or attempt against your vein . Yet ( this let me advise ) if e're you write , Let none of your composures see the light , Till they 've been throughly weigh'd , and past the Test Of all those Judges who are thought the best : While in your Desk they 're lock'd up from the Press , You 've power to correct them as you please : But when they once come forth to view of all , Your Faults are Chronicled , and past recall . Orpheus the first of the inspired Train , By force of powerful numbers did restrain Mankind from rage , and bloudy cruelty , And taught the barbarous world civility , Hence rose the Fiction , which the Poets sram'd , That Lions were by 's tuueful Magick tam'd , And Tygers , charm'd by his harmonious lays , Grew gentle , and said by their savageness : Hence that , which of Amphion too they tell , The pow'r of whose miraculous Lute could call The well-plac'd stones into the Theban Wall. Wondrous were the effects of primitive Verse , Which setled and reform'd the Universe : This did all things to their due ends reduce , To publick , private , sacred , civil use : Marriage for weighty causes was ordain'd , That bridled lust , and lawless Love restrain'd : Cities with Walls , and Rampiers were inclos'd , And property with wholsom Laws dispos'd : And bounds were fix'd of Equity and Right , To guard weak Innocence from wrongful might . Hence Poets have been held a sacred name , And plac'd with first Rates in the Lists of Fame . Next these , great Homer to the world appear'd , Around the Globe his loud alarms were heard , Which all the brave to war like action fir'd : And Hesiod after him with useful skill Gave Lessons to instruct the Plough-mans toil . Verse was the language of the gods of old , In which their sacred Oracles were told : In Verse were the first rules of vertue taught , And Doctrine thence , as now from Pulpits sought : By Verse some have the love of Princes gain'd , Who oft vouchsafe so to be entertain'd , And with a Muse their weighty cares unbend . Then think it no disparagement , dear Sir , To own your self a Member of that Quire , Whom Kings esteem , and Heaven does inspire . Concerning Poets there has been contest , Whether they 're made by Art , or Nature best : But if I may presume in this Affair , Amongst the rest my judgment to declare , No Art without a Genius will avail , And Parts without the help of Art will fail : But both Ingredients joyntly must unite To make the happy Character complete . None at New-market ever won the Prize , But us'd his Airings , and his Exercise , His Courses and his Diets long before , And Wine , and Women for a time forbore : Nor is there any Singing man , we know , Of good Repute in either Chappel now , But was a Learner once ( he 'l freely own ) And by long Practice to that Skill has grown : But each conceited Dunce , without pretence To the least grain of Learning , Parts , or sense , Or any thing but harden'd impudence , Sets up for Poetry , and dares engage With all the topping Writers of the Age : " Why should not be put in amongst the rest ? " Damn him ! he scorns to come behind the best : " Declares himself a Wit , and vows to draw " On the next man , who e're disowns him so . Scriblers of Quality who have Estate , To gain applauding Fools at any rate , Practise as many tricks as Shop-keepers To force a Trade , and put off naughty wares : Some hire the House their Follies to expose , And are at charge to be ridiculous : Others with Wine , and Ordinaries treat A needy Rabble to cry up their Wit : 'T is strange , that such should the true diff'rence find Betwixt a spunging Knave and faithful Friend . Take heed how you e're prostitute your sense To such a fawning crew of Sycophants : All signs of being pleas'd the Rogues will feign , Wonder , and bless themselves at every line . Swearing , " 'T is soft ! 't is charming ! 't is Divine ! Here they 'l look pale , as if surpriz'd , and there In a disguise of grief squeeze out a tear : Oft seem transported with a sudden joy , Stamp and list up their hands in extasie : But , if by chance your back once turn'd appear , You 'l have 'em strait put out their tongues in jeer , Or point , or gibe you with a scornful sneer . As they who truly grieve at Funerals , shew Less outward sorrow than hir'd mourners do ; So true Admirers less concernment wear Before your face than the sham Flatterer . They tell of Kings , who never would admit A Confident , or bosom-Favourite , Till store of Wine had made his secrets float , And by that means they 'd found his temper out : 'T were well if Poets knew some way like this , How to discern their friends from enemies . Had you consulted learned Ben of old , He would your faults impartially have told : " This Verse correction wants ( he would have said ) " And so does this : If you replied , you had To little purpose several trials made ; He presently would bid you strike a dash On all , and put in better in the place : But if he found you once a stubborn sot , That would not be corrected in a fault ; He would no more his pains and counsel spend On an abandon'd Fool that scorn'd to mend ; But bid you in the Devils name go on , And hug your dear impertinence alone . A trusty knowing Friend will boldly dare To give his sense and judgment , wheresoe're He sees a Fault : " Here , Sir , good faith , you 're low , " And must some heightning on the place bestow : " There , if you mind , the Rhime is harsh , and rough , " And should be soft'ned to go smoothlier off : " Your strokes are here of Varnish left too bare , " Your Colours there too thick laid on appear : " Your Metaphor is coarse , that Phrase not pure , " This Word improper , and that sense obscure . In fine , you 'l find him a strict Censurer , That will not your least negligences spare Through a vain fear of disobliging you : They are but slight , and trivial things , 't is true : Yet these same Trifles ( take a Poets word ) Matter of high importance will afford , When e're by means of them you come to be Expos'd to Laughter , Scorn , and Infamy . Not those with Lord have mercy on their doors , Venom of Adders , or infected Whores , Are dreaded worse by men of sense , and Wit , Than a mad Seribler in his raving fit : Like Dog , whose tail is pegg'd into a bone , The hooting Rabble all about the Town , Pursue the Cur , aund pelt him up and down . Should this poor Frantick , as he pass'd along , Intent on 's Rhiming work amidst the throng , Into Fleet-Ditch , or some deep Cellar fall . And till he rent his throat for succour bawl , No one would lend an helping hand at call : For who ( the Plague ! ) could guess at his design , Whether he did not for the nonce drop in ? I 'd tell you , Sir , but questionless you 've heard Of the odd end of a Sicilian Bard : Fond to be deem'd a god , this fool ( it seems ) In 's fit leapt headlong into AE●…a's Flames . Troth , I could be content an Act might pass , Such Poets should have leave , when e're they please , To die , and rid us of our Grievances . A God's name let 'em hang , or drown , or choose What other way they will themselves dispose , Why should we life against their wills impose ? Might that same fool I mention'd , now revive , He would not be reclaim'd , I dare believe , But soon be playing his old freaks again , And still the same capricious hopes retain . 'T is hard to guess , and harder to alledg Whether for Parricide , or Sacriledg , Or some more strange , unknown , and horrid crime , Done in their own , or their Fore-fathers time , These scribling Wretches have been damn'd to Rhime : But certain 't is , for such a crack-braind Race Bedlam , or Hogsdon is the fittest place : Without their Keepers you had better choose To meet the Lions of the Tower broke loose , Than these wild savage Rhymers in the street , Who with their Verses worry all they meet : In vain you would release your self ; so close The Leeches cleave , that there 's no getting loose . Remorsless they to no entreaties yield , Till you are with inhumane non-sense kill'd . An Imitation of HORACE . BOOK I. SATYR IX . Written in June , 1681. Ibam for●…è viâ sacrâ , &c. AS I was walking in the Mall of late , Alone , and musing on I know not what ; Comes a familiar Fop , whom hardly I Knew by his name , and rudely seizes me : Dear Sir , I 'm mighty glad to meet with you : And pray , how have you done this Age , or two ? " Well I thank God ( said I ) as times are now : " I wish the same to you . And so pass'd on , Hoping with this the Coxcomb would be gone . But when I saw I could not thus get free ; I ask'd , what business else he had with me ? Sir ( answered he ) If Learning , Parts , or Sense Merit your friendship ; I have just pretence . " I honour you ( said I ) upon that score , " And shall be glad to serve you to my power . Mean time , wild to get loose , I try all ways To shake him off : Sometimes I walk apace , Sometimes stand still : I frown , I chafe , I fret , Shrug , turn my back , as in the Baigno , sweat : And shew all kind of signs to make him guess At my impatience , and uneasiness . " Happy the solk in Newgate ! ( whisper'd I ) " Who , tho in Chains are from this torment free : " Wou'd I were like rough Manly in the Play , " To send Impertinents with kicks away . ! He all the while baits me with tedious chat , Speaks much about the drought , and how the rate Of Hay is rais'd , and what it now goes at : Tells me of a new Comet at the Hague , Portending God knows what , a Dearth , or Plague : Names every Wench , that passes through the Park , How much she is allow'd , and who the Spark , That keeps her : points , who lately got a Clap , And who at the Groom-Porters had ill hap Three nights ago in play with such a Lord : When he observ'd , I minded not a word , And did no answer to his trash afford ; Sir , I perceive you stand on Thorns ( said he ) And fain would part : but , faith , it must not be : Come , let us take a Bottle . ( I cried ) " No ; " Sir , I am in a Course , and dare not now . Then tell me whether you desire to go : I 'll wait upon you . " Oh! Sir , 't is too far : " I visit cross the Water : therefore spare " Your needless trouble . Trouble ! Sir , 't is none : 'T is more by half to leave you here alone . I have no present business to attend , At least which I 'll not quit for such a Friend : Tell me not of the distance : for I vow , I 'll cut the Line , double the Cape for you , Good faith , I will not leave you : make no words ; Go you to Lambeth ? Is it to my Lords ? His Steward I most intimately know , Have often drunk with his Comptroller too . By this I found my Wheadle would not pass , But rather serv'd my suff'rings to increase : And seeing 't was in vain to vex , or fret , I patiently submitted to my Fate . Strait he begins again : Sir , if you knew My worth but half so throughly as I do ; I 'm sure , you would not value any Friend You have , like me : but that I won't commend My self , and my own Talents ; I might tell How many ways to wonder I excel . None has a greater gift in Poetry , Or writes more Verses with more ease than I : I 'm grown the envy of the men of Wit , I kill'd ev'n Rochester with grief , and spight : Next for the Dancing part I all surpass , St. Andrew never mov'd with such a grace : And'tis well known , when e're I sing , or set , Humphreys , nor Blow could ever match me yet . Here I got room to interrupt : " Have you " A Mother , Sir , or Kindred living now ? Not one : they are all dead . " Troth , so I guest : " The happier they ( said I ) who are at rest . " Poor I am only left unmurder'd yet : " Haste , I beseech you , and dispatch me quite : " For I am well convinc'd , my time is come : " When I was young , a Gypsie told my doom : This Lad ( said she , and look'd upon my hand ) Shall not by Sword , or Poyson come to 's end , Nor by the Fever , Dropsie , Gout , or Stone , But he shall die by an eternal Tongue : Therefore , when he 's grown up , if he be wise , Let him avoid great Talkers , I advise . By this time we were got to Westminster ; Where he by chance a Trial had to hear , And , if he were not there , his Cause must fall : Sir , if you love me , step into the Hall For one half hour , " The Devil take me now , " ( Said I ) if I know any thing of Law : " Besides I told you whither I 'm to go . Hereat he made a stand , pull'd down his Hat Over his eyes , and mus'd in deep debate : " I 'm in a straight ( said he ) what I shall do : Whether forsake my business , Sir , or you . " Me by all means ( say I ) No ( says my Sot ) I fear you 'l take it ill , If I should do 't : I 'm sure , you will. " Not I , by all that 's good . But I 've more breeding , than to be so rude . " Pray , don't neglect your own concerns for me : " Your Cause , good Sir ! My Cause be damu'd ( says he ) I value 't less than your dear Company . With this he came up to me , and would lead The way ; I sneaking after hung my head . Next he begins to plague me with the Plot , Asks , whether I were known to Oats or not ? " Not I , ' thank Heaven ! I no. Priest have been : " Have never Doway , nor St. Omers seen , What think you , Sir ; will they Fitz-Harris try ? Will he die , think you ? Yes , most certainly . I mean , be hang'd . " Would thou wert so ( wish'd I. ) Religion came in next ; tho he 'd no more Than the Freneb King , his Punk , or Confessor . Oh! the sad times , if once the King should die ! Sir , are you not afraid of Popery ? " No more than my Superiors : why should I ? " I 've no Estate in Ally Lands to lose , But Fire , and Faggot , Sir , how like you these ? " Come Inquisition , any thing ( thought I ) " So Heav'n would bless me to get rid of thee : " But 't is some comfort , that my Hell is here : " I need no punishment hereafter fear . Scarce had I thought , but he falls on anew How stands it , Sir , betwixt his Grace , and you ? " Sir , he 's a man of sense above the Crowd , " And shuns the Converse of a Multitude . Ay , Sir , ( Says he ) you 're happy , who are near His Grace , and have the favour of his ear : But let me tell you , if you 'l recommend This person here , your point will soon be gain'd . Gad , Sir , I 'll die , if my own single Wit Don't Fob his Minions , and displace 'em quite . And make your self his only Favourite . " No , you are out abundantly ( said I ) " We live not , as you think : no Family " Throughout the whole three Kingdoms is more free " From those ill Customs , which are us'd to swarm " In great mens houses ; none e're does me harm , " Because more Learned , or more Rich , than I : " But each man keeps his Place , and his Degree . 'T is mighty strange ( says he ) what you relate , " But nothing truer , take my word for that . You make me long to be admitted too Amongst his Creatures : Sir , I beg , that you Will stand my Friend : Your Interest is such , You may prevail , I 'm sure , you can do much . He 's one , that may be won upon , I 've heard , Tho at the first approach access be hard . I 'll spare no trouble of my own , or Friends , No cost in Fees , and Bribes to gain my ends : I 'll seek all opportunities to meet With him , accost him in the very street : Hang on his Coach , and wait upon him home , Fawn , Scrape and Cringe to him , nay , to his Groom . Faith , Sir , this must be done , If we 'll be great : Preferment comes not at a cheaper rate . While at this Savage rate he worried me ; By chance a Doctor , my dear Friend came by , That knew the Fellow's humour passing well : Glad of the sight , I joyn him ; we stand still : Whence came you , Sir ? and whither go you now ? And such like questions pass'd betwixt us two : Strait I begin to pull him by the sleeve . Nod , wink upon him , touch my Nose , and give A thousand hints , to let him know , that I Needed his help for my delivery : He , naughty Wag , with an Arch fleering smile Seems ignorant of what I mean the while : I grow stark wild with rage . " Sir , said not you , " You 'd somewhat to discourse , not long ago , " With me in private ? I remember 't well : Some other time , be sure , I will not fail : Now I am in great haste upon my word : A Messenger came for me from a Lord , That 's in a bad condition , like to die . " Oh! Sir , he can't be in a worse , than I : " Therefore for God's sake do not stir from hence . Sweet Sir ! your pardon : 't is of consequence : I hope you 're kinder than to pross my stay , Which may be Heav'n knows what out of my way . This said , he left me to my murderer : Seeing no hopes of my relief appear : " Confounded be the Stars ( said I ) that sway'd " This fatal day ! would I had kept my Bed " With sickness , rather than been visited " With this worse P●…gue ! what ill have I e're done " To pull this eur●…e , this heavy Judgment down ? While I was thus lamenting my ill hap , Comos aid at length : a brace of Bailiffs clap The Rascal on the back : " Here take your Fees , " Kind Gentlemen ( said I ) for my release . He would have had me Bail. " Excuse me , Sir , " I've made a Vow ne're to be Surety more : " My Father was undone by 't here●…ofore . Thus I got off , and bless'd the Fates that he Was Pris'ner made , I set at liberty . Paraphrase upon HORACE . BOOK I. ODE XXXI . Quid dedicatum poscit Apollinem Vates ? &c. — 1. WHat does the Poet 's modest Wish require ? What Boon does he of gracious Heav'n desire ? Not the large Corps of Esham's goodly Soil , Which tire the Mower's , and the Reaper's toil ; Not the soft Flocks , on hilly Cotswold fed , Nor Lemster Fields with living Fleeces clad : He does not ask the Grounds , where gentle Thames , Or Severn spread their fat'ning Streams . Where they with wanton windings play ; And eat their widen'd Banks insensibly away : He does not ask the Wealth of Lombard-street , Which Consciences , and Souls are pawn'd to get . Nor those exhaustless Mines of Gold , Which Guinny and Peru in their rich bosoms hold . 2. Let those that live in the Canary Isles , On which indulgent Nature ever smiles , Take pleasure in their plenteous Vintages , And from the juicy Grape its racy Liquor press : Let wealthy Merchants , when they Dine , Run o're their costly names of Wine , Their Chests of Florence , and their Mont-Alchine . Their Mants , Champagns , Chablees , Frontiniacks tell , Their Aums of Hock , of Backrag and Moselle : He envies not their Luxury Which they with so much pains , and danger buy : For which so many Storms , and Wrecks they bear , For which they pass the Streights so oft each year , And scape so narrowly the Bondage of Argier . 3. He wants no Cyprus Birds , nor Ortola●…s , Nor Daintics fetch'd from far to please his Sense , Cheap wholsom Herbs content his frugal Board . The food of unfaln Innocence , Which the mean'st Village Garden does afford : Grant him ; kind Heav'n , the sum of his desires , What Nature , not what Luxury requires : He only does a Competency claim , And , when he has it , wit to use the same : Grant him sound Health , impair'd by no Disease , Nor by his own Excess : Let him in strength of Mind , and Body live . But not his Reason , nor his Sense survive : His Age ( if Age he e're must live to see ) Let it from want , Contempt , and Care be free . But not from Mirth , and the delights of Poetry , Grant him but this , he 's amply satisfi'd . And scorns whatever Fate can give beside . Paraphrase upon HORACE . BOOK II. ODE XIV . Eheu fugaces , Posthume , Posthume , Labuntur anni , &c. 1. ALas ! dear Friend , alas ! time hastes away , Nor is it in our pow'r to bribe its stay : The rolling years with constant motion run , Lo ! while I speak , the present minute 's gone , And following hours urge the foregoing on . 'T is not thy Wealth , 't is not thy Power , 'T is not thy Piety can thee secure : They 're all too feeble to withstand Grey Hairs , approaching Age , and thy avoidless end . When once thy fatal Glass is run , When once thy utmost Thread is spun , 'T will then be fruitless to expect Reprieve : Could'st thou ten thousand Kingdoms give In purchase for each hour of longer life , They would not buy one gasp of breath , Not move one jot inexorable Death . 2. All the vast stock of humane Progeny , Which now like swarms of Insects ●…wl Upon the Surface of Earth's spacious Ball , Must quit this Hillock of Mortality , And in its Bowels buried lie . The mightiest King , and proudest Potentate , In spight of all his Pomp , and all his State , Must pay this necessary Tribute unto Fate . The busie , restless Monarch of the times , which now Keeps such a pother , and so much ado To fill Gazettes alive , And after in some lying Annal to survive ; Ev'n He , ev'n that great mortal Man must die , And stink , and rot as well as thou , and I , As well as the poor tatter'd Wretch , that begs his bread , And is with scraps out of the common Basket sed . 3. In vain from dangers of the bloudy Field we keep , In vain we escape The sultry Line , and stormy Cape , And all the treacheries of the faithless Deep : In vain for health to forein Countries we repair , And change our English for Mompellier Air , In hope to leave our fears of dying there : In vain with costly far fetch'd Drugs we strive To keep the wasting vital Lamp alive : In vain on Doctors feeble Art rely ; Against resistless Death there is no remedy : Both we , and they for all their skill must die , And fill alike the Bedrols of Mortality . 4. Thou must , thou must resign to Fate , my Friend , And leave thy House , thy Wife , and Family behind : Thou must thy fair , and goodly Mannors leave , Of these thy Trees thou shalt not with thee take , Save just as much as will thy Coffin make : Nor wilt thou be allow'd of all thy Land , to have , But the small pittance of a six-foot Grave . Then shall thy prodigal young Heir Lavish the Wealth , which thou for many a year Hast hoarded up with so much pains and care : Then shall he drain thy Cellars of their Stores , Kept sacred now as vaults of buried Ancestors : Shall set th' enlarged Butts at liberty , Which there close Pris'ners under durance lie , And wash these stately Floors with better Wine Than that of consecrated Prelates when they dine . The PRAISE of HOMER . ODE . 1. HAil God of Verse ! pardon that thus I take in vain Thy sacred , everlasting Name , And in unhallow'd Lines blaspheme : Pardon that with strange Fire thy Altars I profane . Hail thou ! to whom we mortal Bards our Faith submit , Whom we acknowledg our sole Text , and holy Writ : None other Judg infallible we own , But Thee , who art the Canon of authentick Wit alone . Thou art the unexhausted Ocean , whence Sprung first , and still do flow th' eternal Rills of sense : To none but Thee our Art Divine we owe ; From whom it had its Rise , and full Perfection too . Thou art the mighty Bank , that ever do'st supply Throughout the world the whole Poetick Company : With thy vast stock alone they traffick for a name , And send their glorious Ventures out to all the Coasts of Fame , 2. How trulier blind was dull Antiquity , Who fasten'd that unjust Reproach on Thee ? Who can the sensless Tale believe ? Who can to the false Legend credit give ? Or think thou wantedst sight , by whom all others see ? What Land , or Region , how remote soe're , Does not so well describ'd in thy great Draughts appear , That each thy native Country seems to be , And each t' have been survey'd , and measur'd out By thee ? Whatever Earth does in her pregnant Bowels bear , Or on her fruitful Surface wear ; What e're the spacious Fields of Air contain , Or far extended Territories of the Main ; Is by thy skilful Pencil so exactly shown , We scarce discern where thou , or Nature best has drawn , Nor is thy quick all-piercing Eye Or check'd , or bounded here : But farther does surpass , and farther does descry : Beyond the Travels of the Sun , and Year . Beyond this glorious Scene of starry Tapestry , Where the vast Purliews of the Sky , And boundless waste of Nature lies , Thy Voyages thou mak'st , and bold Discoveries . What there the Gods in Parliament debate , What Votes , or Acts i' th' Heav'nly Houses pass , By Thee so well communicated was ; As if thou'dst been of that Cabal of State , As if Thou hadst been sworn the Privy-Counsellor of Fate . 3. What Chief , who does thy Warrior's great Exploits survey , Will not aspire to Deeds as great as they ? What generous Readers would he not inspire With the same gallant Heat , the same ambitious Fire ? Methinks from Ida's top with noble Joy I view The warlike Squadrons by his daring Conduct led ; I see th' immortal Host engaging on his side , And him the blushing Gods out-do . Where e're he does his dreadful Standards bear , Horror stalks in the Van , and Slaughter in the Rere . Whole Swarths of Enemies his Sword does mow , And Limbs of mangled Chiefs his passage strow , And flouds of reeking Gore the Field o'reslow : While Heavn's dread Monarch from his Throne of State , With high concern upon the Fight looks down , And wrinkles his Majestick Brow into a Frown , To see bold Man , like him , distribute Fate . 4. While the great Macedonian Youth in Non-age grew , Not yet by Charter of his years set free From Guardians , and their slavish tyranny , No Tutor , but the Budg Philosophers he knew : And well enough the grave , and useful Tools Might serve to read him Lectures , and to please With unintelligible Jargon of the Schools , And airy Terms and Notions of the Colleges : They might the Art of Prating , and of Brawling teach , And some insipid Homilies of Vertue preach : But when the mighty Pupil had outgrown Their musty Discipline , when manlier Thoughts possess'd His generous Princely Breast , Now ripe for Empire , and a Crown , And fill'd with lust of Honour , and Renown ; He then learnt to contemn The despicable things , the men of Flegm : Strait he to the dull Pedants gave release , And a more noble Master strait took place : Thou , who the Grecian Warriour so could'st praise , As might in him just envy raise , Who ( one would think ) had been himself too high To envy any thing of all Mortality , 'T was thou that taught'st him Lessons lostier far , The Art of Reigning , and the Art of War : And wondrous was the Progress , which he made , While he the Acts of thy great Pattern read : The World too narrow for his boundless Conquests grew , He Conquer'd one , and wish'd , and wept for new : From thence he did those Miracles produce , And Fought , and Vanquiih'd by the Conduct of a Muse. 5. No wonder rival Nations quarrell'd for thy Birth , A Prize of greater and of higher worth Than that which led whole Greece , and Asia forth , Than that , for which thy mighty Hero fought , And Troy with ten years War , and its Destruction bought . Well did they think it noble to have bore that Name , Which the whole world would with ambition claim : Well did they Temples raise To Thee , at whom Nature her self stood in amaze , A work , she never tried to mend , nor cou'd , In which mistaking Man , by chance she form'd a God. How gladly would our willing Isle resign Her fabulous Arthur , and her boasted Constantine , And half her Worthies of the Norman Line , And quite the honour of their Births to be ensur'd to Thine ? How justly might it the wise choice approve . Prouder in this than Crete to have brought forth Almighty Jove ? 6. Unhappy we , thy British Off spring here , Who strive by thy great Model Monuments to rear : In vain for worthless Fame we toil , That 's pent in the strait limits of a narrow Isle : In vain our Force , and Art we spend With noble labours to enrich our Land , Which none beyond our Shores vouchsafe to understand . Be the fair structure ne'r so well design'd , The parts with ne'r so much proportion joyn'd ; Yet foreign Bards ( such is their Pride , or Prejudice ) All the choice Wormanship for the Materials sake despise . But happier thou thy Genius didst dispence In Language universal as thy sense : All the rich Bullion , which thy Soveraign Stamp does wear On every Coast of Wit does equal value bear , Allow'd by all , and currant every where . No Nation yet has been so barbarous found , Where thy transcendent Worth was not renown'd . Throughout the World thou art with Wonder read , Where ever Learning does its Commerce spread , Where ever Fame with all her Tongues can speak , Where ever the bright God of Wit does his vast Journies take , 7. Happy above Mankind that envied Name , Which Fare ordain'd to be thy glorious Theme : What greater Gift could bounteous Heaven bestow On its chief Favourite below ? What nobler Trophy could his high Deserts be fit , Than these thy vast erected Pyramids of Wit ? Not Statutes cast in solid Brass , Nor those , which Art in breathing Marble does express , Can boast an equal Life , or lastingness With their well-polish'd Images , which claim A Nich in thy Majestick Mohuments of Fame . Here their embalm'd incorruptible memories Can proudest Louvres , and Escurials despise , And all the needless helps of AEgypts costly Vanities . No Blasts of Heaven , or Ruine of the Spheres , Not all the washing Tides of rolling years , Nor the whole Race of batt'ring time shall e're wear out The great Inscriptions , which thy Hand has wrought , Here thou , and they shall live , and bear an endless date , Firm , as enroll'd in the eternal Register of Fate . For ever curst be that mad Emperour , ( And curss'd enough he is be sure ) May future Poets on his hated Name Shed all their Gall , and foulest Infamy , And may it here stand branded with eternal shame , Who thought thy Works could mortal be , And sought the glorious Fabrick to destroy : In this ( could Fate permit it to be done ) His damned Successor he had out-gone , Who Rome and all its Palaces in Ashes laid , And the great Ruins with a savage Joy survey'd : He bu●…ht but what might be re-built and richer made . But had the impious Wish succeeded here , 'T had raiz'd what Age , nor Art could e're repair . Not that vast universal Flame , Which at the final Doom This beauteous Work of Nature must consume , And Heav'n and all its Glories in one Urn entomb , Will burn a nobler , or more lasting Frame : As firm , and strong as that it shall endure , Through all the Injuries of Time secure , Nor die , till the whole world its Funeral Pile become . Two Pastorals out of the Greek . BION . A Pastoral , in Imitation of the Greek of Moschus , bewailing the Death of the Earl of ROCHESTER . MOurn all ye Groves , in darker shades be seen , Let Groans be heard , where gentle Winds have been : Ye Albion Rivers , weep your Fountains dry , And all ye Plants your moisture spend , and die : Ye melancholy Flowers , which once were Men , Lament , until you be transform'd agen : Let every Rose pale as the Lilly be , And Winter Frost seize the A●…emone : But thou , O Hyacinth , more vigorous grow In mournful Letters thy sad glory show , Enlarge thy grief , and flourish in thy wo : For Bion , the beloved Bion's dead , His voice is gone , his tuneful breath is fled . Come all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . Mourn ye sweet Nightingales in the thick Woods , Tell the sad news to all the British Floods : See it to Isis , and to C ham convey'd , To Thames , to Humber , and to utmost Tweed : Annd bid them wast the bitter tidings on , How Bion's dead , how the lov'd Swain is gone , And with him all the Art of graceful Song . Come all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . Ye gentle Swans , that haunt the Brooks , and Springs , Pine with sad grief , and droop your sickly Wings : In doleful notes the heavy loss bewail , Such as you sing at your own Funeral , Such as you sung when your lov'd Orpheus fell . Tell it it to all the Rivers , Hills , and Plains , Tell it to all the British Nymphs and Swains , And bid them too the dismal tydings spread Of Bion's fate , of England's Orpheus dead , Come all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . No more , alas ! no more that lovely Swain Charms with his tuneful Pipe the wondring Plain : Ceast are those Lays , ceast are those sprightly airs , That woo'd our Souls into our ravish'd Ears : For which the list'ning streams forgot to run , And Trees lean'd their attentive branches down : While the glad Hills , loth the sweet sounds to lose , Lengthen'd in Echoes every heav'nly close . Down to the melancholy Shades he 's gone , And there to Lethe's Banks reports his moan : Nothing is heard upon the Mountains now But pensive Herds that for their Master low : Stragling and comfortless about they rove , Unmindful of their Pasture , and their Love. Come all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse , With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . For thee , dear Swain , for thee , his much lov'd Son , Does Phoebus Clouds of mourning black put on : For thee the Satyrs and the rustick Fauns Sigh and lament through all the Woods and Lawns : For thee the Fairies grieve , and cease to dance In sportful Rings by night upon the Plains : The water Nymphs alike thy absence mourn , And all their Springs to tears and sorrow turn : Sad Eccho too does in deep silence moan , Since thou art mute , since thou art speechless grown : She finds nought worth her pains to imitate , Now thy sweet breath 's stopt by untimely fate : Trees drop their Leaves to dress thy Funeral , And all their Fruit before its Autumn fall : Each Flower sades , and hangs its wither'd head , And scorns to thrive , or live , now thou art dead : Their bleating Flocks no more their Udders fill , The painful Bees neglect their wonted toil : Alas ! what boots it now their Hives to store With the rich spoils of every plunder'd Flower , when thou , that wast all sweetness , art no more ? Come , all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse , With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . Ne'r did the Dolphins on the lonely Shore In such loud plaints utter their grief before : Never in such sad Notes did Philomel To the relenting Rocks her sorrow tell : Ne'r on the Beech did poor Alcyone So weep , when she her floating Lover saw : Nor that dead Lover , to a Sea-fowl turn'd , Upon those Waves , where he was drown'd , so mourn'd : Nor did the Bird of Memnon with such grief Bedew those Ashes , which late gave him life : As they did now with vying grief bewail , As they did all lament dear Bion's fall . Come all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . In every Wood , on every Tree , and Bush The Lark , the Linnet , Nightingale , and Thrush , And all the feather'd Choir , that us'd to throng In list'ning Flocks to learn his well-tun'd Song . Now each in the sad Consort bear a part , And with kind Notes repay their Teachers Art : Ye Turtles too ( I charge you ) here assist , Let not your murmurs in the crowd be mist : To the dear Swain do not ungrateful prove , That taught you how to sing , and how to love . Come all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse , Whom hast thou left behind thee , skilful Swain , That dares aspire to reach thy matchless strain : ▪ Who is there after thee , that dares pretend Rashly to take thy warbling Pipe in hand ? Thy Notes remain yet fresh in every ear , And give us all delight , and all despair : Pleas'd Eccho still does on them meditate , And to the whistling Reeds their sounds repeat : Pan only e're can equal thee in Song , That task does only to great Pan belong : But Pan himself perhaps will fear to try , Will fear perhaps to be out-done by thee . Come all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . Fair Galatea too laments thy death : Laments the ceasing of thy tuneful breath : Ost she , kind Nymph , resorted heretosore To hear thy artful measures from the shore : Not harsh like the rude Cyclops were thy lays , Whose grating sounds did her soft ears displease : Such was the force of thy enchanting tongue , That she for ever could have heard thy Song , And chid the hours , that did so swiftly run , And thought the Sun too hasty to go down , Now does that lovely Nereid for thy sake The Sea , and all her fellow Nymphs forsake : Pensive upon the Beach , she sits alone , And kindly tends the Flocks from which thou' rt gone . Come all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . With thee , sweet Bion , all the grace of Song , And all the Muses boasted Art is gone : Mute is thy Voice , which could all hearts command , Whose pow'r no Shepherdess could e're withstand : All the soft weeping Loves about thee moan , At once their Mothers darling , and their own : Dearer wast thou to Venus than her Loves , Than her charm'd Girdle , than her faithful Doves , Than the last gasping Kisses , which in death Adonis gave , and with them gave his breath . This , Thames , ah ! this is now the second loss , For which in tears thy weeping Current flows : Spencer , the Muses glory , went before , He pass'd long since to the Elysian shore : For him ( they say ) for him , thy dear-lov'd Son , Thy Waves did long in sobbing murmurs groan , Long fill'd the Sea with their complaint , and moan : But now , alas ! thou do'st afresh bewail , Another Son does now thy sorrow call : To part with either thou alike wast loth , Both dear to Thee , dear to the Fountains both : He largely drank the Rills of sacred Cham , And this no less of Isis nobler stream : He sung of Hero's , and of hardy Knights Far-fam'd in Battels , and renown'd Exploits : This meddled not with bloudy Fights , and Wars , Pan was his Song , and Shepherds harmless jars , Loves peaceful combats , and its gentle cares . Love ever was the subject of his Lays , And his soft Lays did Venus ever please . Come all ye Muses , come adorn the Shepherd's Herse With never fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . Thou , sacred Bion , art lamented more Than all our tuneful Bards , that dy'd before : Old Chaucer , who first taught the use of Verse , No longer has the tribute of our tears : Milton , whose Muse with such a daring flight Led out the warring Seraphims to fight : Blest Cowley too , who on the banks of Cham So sweetly sigh'd his wrongs , and told his flame : And He , whose Song rais'd Cooper's Hill so high , As made its glory with Parnassus vie : And soft Orinda , whose bright shining name Stands next great Sappho's in the ranks of fame : All now unwept , and unrelented pass , And in our grief no longer share a place : Bion alone does all our tears engross , Our tears are all too few for Bion's loss . Come all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . Thee all the Herdsmen mourn in gentlest Lays , And rival one another in thy praise : In spreading Letters they engrave thy Name On every Bark , that 's worthy of the same : Thy Name is warbled forth by every tongue , Thy Name the Burthen of each Shepherds Song ; Waller , the sweet'st of living Bards , prepares For thee his tender'st , and his mournfull'st airs , And I , the meanest of the British Swains , Amongst the rest offer these humble strains : If I am reckon'd not unblest in Song . 'T is what I ow to thy all-teaching tongue : Some of thy Art , some of thy tuneful breath Thou didst by Will to worthless me bequeath : Others thy Flocks , thy Lands , thy Riches have , To me thou didst thy Pipe , and Skill vouch●…afe . Come all y●… Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's H●…rse With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . Alas by what ill Fate , to man unkind , Were we to so severe a lot design'd ? The meanest Flowers which the Gardens yield , The vilest Weeds that flourish in the Field , Which must e're long lie dead in Winter's Snow , Shall spring again , again more vigorous grow : Yon Sun , and this bright glory of the day , Which night is hasting now to snatch away , Shall rise anew more shining and more gay : But wretched we must harder measure find , The great'st , the brav'st , the witt●…'st of mankind , When Death has once put out their light . in vain Ever expect the dawn of Life again : In the dark Grave insensible they lie , And there sleep our endless Eternity There tho●… to silence ever art confin'd , While less deserving Swains are left behind : So please the Fates to deal with us below , They cull out thee , and let dull Moevius go : Moevius still lives ; still let him live for me , He , and his Pipe shall ne'r my envy be : None e're that heard thy sweet , thy Artful Tongue , Will grate their ears with his rough untun'd Song Come , all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . A fierce Disease , sent by ungentle Death , Snatch'd Bion hence , and stop'd his hallow'd breath : A fatal damp put out that heav'nly fire , That sacred heat which did his breast inspire . Ah! what malignant ill could boast that pow'r , Which his sweet voice's Magick could not cure ? Ah cruel Fare ! how could'st thou chuse but spare ? How could'st thou exercise thy rigout here ? Would thou hadst thrown thy Dart at worthless me , And let this dear , this valued life go free : Better ten thousand meaner Swains had dy'd , Than this best work of Nature been destroy'd . Come , all ye Muses , come , adorn the Shepherd's Herse With never-fading Garlands , never-dying Verse . Ah! would kind Death alike had sent me hence ; But grief shall do the work , and save its pains : Grief shall accomplish my desired doom , And soon dispatch me to Elysium : There , Bion , would I be , there gladly know , How with thy voice thou charm'st the shades below . Sing , Shepherd , sing one of thy strains divine , Such as may melt the fierce Elysian Queen : She once her self was pleas'd with tuneful strains , And sung , and danc'd on the Sicilian Plains : Fear not , thy Song should unsuccessful prove , Fear not , but 't will the pitying Goddess move : She once was won by Orpheus heav'nly Lays , And gave his fair Eurydice release . And thine as pow'rful ( question not , dear Swain ) Shall bring thee back to these glad Hills again . Ev'n I my self , did I at all excel , Would try the utmost of my voice and skill , Would try to move the rigid King of Hell. The Lamentation for ADONIS . Imitated out of the Greek of Bion of Smyrna . PASTORAL . IMourn Adonis , fair Adonis dead , He 's dead , and all that 's lovely , with him fled : Come all ye Loves , come hither and bemoan The charming sweet Adonis dead and gone : Rise from thy Purple Bed , and rich Alcove , Throw off thy gay attire , great Queen of Love : Henceforth in sad and mournful weeds appear , And all the marks of grief , and sorrow wear , And tear thy locks , and beat thy panting breast , And cry , My dear Adonis is deceast . I mourn Adonis , the soft Loves bemoan The gentle sweet Adonis dead and gone . On the cold Mountain lies the wretched Youth , Kill'd by a Savage Boar's unpitying tooth : In his white thigh the fatal stroke is found , Nor whiter was that tooth , that gave the wound : From the wide wound fast flows the streaming gore And stains that skin which was all snow before : His breath with quick short tremblings comes and goes , And Death his fainting eyes begins to close : From his pale lips the ruddy colour 's fled , Fled , and has left his kisses cold and dead : Yet Venus never will his kisses leave , The Goddess ever to his lips will cleave : The kiss of her dear Youth does please her still , But her poor Youth does not the pleasure feel : Dead he feels not her love , feels not her grief , Feels not her kiss , which might ev'n life retrieve . I mourn Adonis the sad Loves bemoan The comely fair Adonis dead and gone . Deep in his Thigh , deep went the killing smart , But deeper far it goes in Venus heart : His faithful Dogs about the Mountain yell , And the hard Fate of their dead Master tell : The troubled Nymphs alike in doleful strains Proclaim his death through all the Fields & Plains : But the sad Goddess , most of all forlorn , With love distracted , and with sorrow torn , Wild in her look , and ruful in her air , With Garments rent , and with dishevel'd hair , Through Brakes , through Thickets , and through pathless ways , Through Woods , through Haunts , and Dens of Savages , Undrest , unshod , careless of Honour , Fame , And Danger , flies , and calls on his lov'd name . Rude Brambles , as she goes , her body tear , And her cut feet with bloud the stones besmear . She thoughtless of the unfelt smart flies on , And fills the Woods , and Vallies with her moan , Loudly does on the Stars and Fates complain , And prays them give Adonis back again : But he , alass ! the wretched Youth , alas ! Lies cold , and stiff , extended on the grass : There lies he steep'd in gore , there lies he drown'd , In purple streams , that gush from his own wound . All the soft band of Loves their Mother mourn , At once of beauty , and of love forlorn . Venus has lost her Lover , and each grace , That sate before in triumph in her face , By grief chas'd thence , has now forsook the place . That day which snatch'd Adonis from her arms , That day bereft the Goddess of her charms . The Woods and Trees in murmuring sighs bemoan The fate of her Adonis dead and gone . The Rivers too , as if they would deplore His death , with grief swell higher than before : The Flowers weep in tears of dreary dew ; And by their drooping heads their sorrow shew : But most the Cyprian Queen with shrieks , and groans , Fills all the neighb'ring Hills , and Vales , and Towns : The poor Adonis dead ! is all her cry , Adonis dead ! sad Eccho does reply . What cruel heart would not the Queen of Love To melting tears , and soft compassion move , When she saw how her wretched Lover fell , Saw his deep wound , saw it ineurable ? Soon as her eyes his bleeding wounds survey'd , With eager clips she did his Limbs invade , And these soft , tender , mournful things she said : " Whither , O whither fli'st thou , wretched Boy , " Stay my Adonis , stay my only joy , " Ostay , unhappy Youth , at least till I " With one kind word bespeak thee , e're thou die , " Till I once more embrace thee , till I seal " Upon thy dying lips my last farewel . " Look up one minute , give one parting kiss , " One kiss , dear Youth , to dry these flowing eyes : " One kiss as thy last Legacy I 'd fain " Preserve , no God shall take it off again . " Kiss , while I watch thy swimming eye-balls roul , " Watch thy last gasp , and catch thy springing soul. " I 'll suck it in , I 'll hoard it in my heart , " I with that facred pledg will never part , " But thou wilt part , but thou art gone , far gone " To the dark shades , and leav'st me here alone . " Thou dy'st , but hopeless I must suffer life , " Must pine away with easless endless grief . " Why was I born a Goddess ? why was I " Made such a wretch to want the pow'r to die ? " If I by death my sorrows might redress , " If the cold Grave could to my pains give ease , " I 'd gladly die , I 'd rather nothing be " Than thus condemn'd to immortality : " In that vast empty void , and boundless wast , " We mind not what 's to come , nor what is past . " Of life , or death we know no difference , " Nor hopes , nor fears at all affect our sense : " But those who are of pleasure once bereft , " And must survive , are most unhappy left : " To ravenous sorrow they are left a prey , " Nor can they ever drive despair away . " Take , cruel Proserpine , take my lov'd Boy , " Rich with my spoils , do thou my loss enjoy . " Take him relentless Goddess , for thy own , " Never till now wast thou my envy grown . " Hard Fate ! that thus the best of things must be " Always the plunder of the Grave , and thee : " The Grave , and thou now all my hopes engross , " And I for ever must Adonis lose . " Thou' rt dead , alas ! alas ! my Youth , thou' rt dead , " And with thee all my pleasures too are fled : " They 're all like fleeting vanish'd dreams pass'd o're , " And nought but the remembrance left in store " Of tasted joys ne're to be tasted more : " With thee my Cestos , all my charms are gone , " Thy Venus must thy absence ever moan , " And spend the tedious live-long nights alone . " Ah! heedless Boy , why would'st thou rashly choose " Thy self to dang'rous pleasures to expose ? " Why would'st thou hunt ? why would'st thou any more " Venture with Dogs to chase the foaming Boar ? " Thou wast all fair to mine , to humane eyes , " But not ( alas ! ) to those wild Savages . " One would have thought thy sweetness might have charm'd " The roughest kind , the fiercest rage disarm'd : " Mine ( I am sure ) it could ; but wo is thee ! " All wear not eyes , all wear not breasts like me . In such sad words the Dame her grief did vent ; While the Wing'd Loves kept time with her complaint : As many drops of Bloud as from the wound Of slain Adonis fell upon the ground , So many tears , and more you might have told , That down the cheeks of weeping Venus roul'd : Both tears , and bloud to new born flow'rs give rise , Hence Roses spring , and thence Anemonies . Cease , Venus , in the Woods to mourn thy Love , Thou 'st vented sighs , thou 'st lavish'd tears enough : See! Goddess , where a glorious bed of State Does ready for thy dear Adonis wait : This bed was once the Scene of Love , and Joy , But now must bear the wretched , murder'd Boy : There lies he , like a pale , and wither'd Flower , Which some rude hand had cropt before its hour : Yet smiles , and beauties still live in his face , Which death can never frighten from their place . There let him lie upon that conscious bed , Where you loves mysteries so oft have tried : When you 've enjoy'd so many an happy night , Each lengthen'd into ages of delight . There let him lie , there heaps of Flowers strow , Roses and Lillies store upon him throw , And myrtle Garlands lavishly bestow : Pour Myrth , and Balm , and costliest Ointments on , Flowers are faded , Ointments worthless grown , Now thy Adonis , now thy Youth is gone , Who was all sweetnesses compriz'd in one . In Purple wrapt , Adonis lies in state , A Troop of mourning Loves about him wait : Each does some mark of their kind sorrow show , One breaks his Shafts , t'other unstrings his Bow , A third upon his Quiver wreaks his hate , As the sad causes of his hasty fate : This plucks his bloudy garments off , that brings Water in Vessels from the neighb'ring Springs , Some wash his Wound , some fan him with thei●… Wings : All equally their Mothers loss bemoan , All moan for poor Adonis dead and gone . Sad Hymen too the fatal loss does mourn . His Tapers all to Funeral Tapers turn , And all his wither'd Nuptial Garlands burn : His gay , and airy Songs are heard no more , But mournful Strains , that hopeless love deplore . Nor do the Graces fail to bear a part With wretched Venus in her pain and smart : The poor Adonis dead ! by turns they cry , And strive in grief the Goddess to out-vie . The Muses too in softest Lays bewail The hapless Youth , and his fled Soul recal : But all in vain ; — ah ! numbers are too weak To call the lost , the dead Adonis back : Not all the pow'rs of Verse , or charms of Love The deaf remorsless Proserpine can move . Cease then , sad Queen of Love , thy plaints give o're , Till the next year reserve thy grief in store : Reserve thy Sighs , and tears in store till then , Then thou must sigh , then thou must weep agen . Paraphrase upon the 137. Psalm . 1. Ver. 1. FAr from our pleasant native Palestine , Where great Euphrates with a mighty current flows , And does in watry limits Babylon confine , Curss'd Babylon ! the cause , and author of our woes ; There on the Rivers side Sate wretched , Captive we . And in sad Tears bewail'd our misery . Tears , whose vast store increas'd the neighb'ring Tide : We wept , and strait our grief before us brought A thousand distant Objects to our thought . As oft as we survey'd the gliding Stream , Lov'd Jordan did our sad remembrance claim : As oft as we th' adjoyning City view'd , Dear Sions razed Walls our Grief renew'd : We thought on all the Pleasures of our happy Land , Late ravish'd by a cruel Conqu'rour's hand : We thought on every piteous , every mournful thing , That might access to our enlarged sorrows bring ; Deep silence told the greatness of our Grief , Of grief too great by Vent to find relief : Our Harps as mute and dumb , as we , Hung useless , and neglected by , And now and then a broken String would lend a sigh , As if with us they selt a sympathy , And mourn'd their own , and our Captivity : The gentle River too , as if compassionate grown , As 't would its Natives cruelty attone , As it pass'd by , in murmurs gave a pitying Groan . 2. There the proud Conquerors , who gave us Chains , Who all our suff'rings and misfortunes gave , Did with rude Insolence our Sorrows brave , And with insulting Raillery thus mock'd our Pains , Play us ( said they ) some brisk , and airy strain , Such as your Ancestors were wont to hear On Shilo 's pleasant Plain , Where all the Virgins met in Dances once a year : Or one of those , Which your illustrious David did compose , While he fill'd Israel 's happy Throne , Great Soldier , Poet , and Musician all in one : Oft ( have we heard ) he went with Harp in hand , Captain of all 〈◊〉 harmonious Band , And vanquish'd all the Quire with 's single skill alone : Forbid it Heav'n ! sorbid thou great thrice-hallow'd Name , We should thy Sacred Hymns defame , Or them with impious ears profane . No , no , inhumane slaves , is this a time ( Oh cruel , and preposterous demand ! ) When every Joy , and every Smile 's a crime . A Treason to our poor unhappy native Land ? Is this a time for sprightly Airs , When every look the Badg of sorrow wears , And Livery of our Miseries , Sad miseries that call for all our Breath in sighs , And all the Tribute of our eyes , And moisture of our Veins our very bloud in tears ? When nought can claim our Thoughts , Jerusalem , but thou , Nought , but thy sad Destruction , Fall , and Overthrow ? 3. Oh dearest City ! late our Nations justest Pride ! Envy of all the wond'ring world beside ! Oh sacred Temple , once th' Almighty's bless'd abode , Now quite forsaken by our angry God! Shall ever distant time , or Place Your firm Ideas from my Soul deface ? Shall they not still take up my Breast As long as that , and Life , and I shall last ? Grant Heav'n ( nor shall my Pray'rs the Curse withstand ) That this my learned , skilful hand ( Which now o're all the tuneful strings can boast command , Which does as quick , as ready , and unerring prove , As nature , when it would its joynts or fingers move ) Grant it forget its Art and feeling too , When I forget to think , to wish , to pray for you : For ever tied with Dumbness be my tongue , When it speaks ought that shall not to your Praise belong , If that be not the constant subject of my Muse , and Song . 4. Remember , Heav'n , remember Edom on that day , And with like sufferings their spight repay , Who made our Miseries their cruel Mirth and Scorn , Who laugh'd to see our flaming City burn , And wish'd it might to Ashes turn : Raze , raze it ( was their cursed cry ) Raze all its stately Structures down , And lay its Palaces , and Temple level with the ground , Till Sion buried in his dismal Ruines lie , Forgot alike its Place , its Name , and Memory . And thou proud Babylon ! just Object of our Hate , Thou too shalt feel the sad reverse of Fate , Tho thou art now exalted high , And with thy lofty head o'retop'st the Sky , As if thou would'st the Pow'rs above defie ; Thou ( if those Pow'rs ( and sure they will ) prove just , If my Prophetick Grief can ought foresee ) Ere long shalt lay that lofty head in dust , And blush in Bloud for all thy present Cruelty : How , loudly then shall we retort these bitter Taunts ! How gladly to the Musick of thy Fetters dance ! 5. A day will come ( oh might I see 't ! ) e're long That shall revenge our mighty wrong : Then bless'd , for ever bless'd be he Whoever shall return't on thee , And grave it deep , and pay 't with bloudy Usury : May neither aged Groans , nor Infant Cries , Nor pitious Mothers Tears , nor ravish'd Virgins Sighs , Soften thy unrelenting Enemies , Let them as thou to us inexorable prove , Nor Age nor Sex their deaf Compassion move ; Rapes , Murders , Slaughters , Funerals , And all thou durst attempt within our Sions Wall , May'st thou endure , and more , till joyful we Confess thy self out-done in artful cruelty . Bless'd , yea , thrice blessed be that barbarous Hand ( Oh grief , that I such dire Revenge commend ! ) Who tears out Infants from their Mothers Womb , And hurls them yet unborn unto their Tomb : Bless'd he who plucks them from their Parents Arms , That Sanctuary from all common harms , Who with their Skulls , and Bones shall pave thy Streets all o're , And fill thy glutted Channels with their scatter'd Brains and Gore . Paraphrase upon the HYMN of St. AMBROSE . ODE . 1. TO Thee , O God , we thy just Praises sing , To Thee we Thy great Name rehearse : We are Thy Vassals , and this humble Tribute bring To Thee , acknowledg'd only Lord and King , Acknowledg'd sole and Sovereign Monarch of the Universe . All parts of this wide Universe adore , Eternal Father , thy Almighty power : The Skies , and Stars , Fire , Air , and Earth , and Sea , With all their numerous nameless Progeny Confess , and their due Homage pay to thee ; For why ? thou spak'st the Word , and mad'st them all from Nothing be . To thee all Angels , all thy glorious Court on high , Seraph and Cherub , the Nobility , And whatsoever Spirits be Of lesser Honour , less Degree ; To Thee in heav'nly Lays They sing loud Anthems of immortal Praise : Still Holy , Holy , Holy Lord of Hosts they cry , This is their bus'ness , this their sole employ , And thus they spend their long and blest Eternity . 2. Farther than Natures utmost shores and limits stretch The streams of thy unbounded Glory reach ; Beyond the straits of scanty Time , and Place , Beyond the ebbs and flows of matter 's narrow Seas They reach , and fill the Ocean of Eternity and Space . Infus'd like some vast mighty soul , Thon do'st inform and actuate this spacious whole : Thy unseen hand does the well-joynted Frame sustain , Which else would to its primitive Nothing shrink again . But most thou do'st thy Majesty display In the bright Realms of everlasting Day : There is Thy residence , there do'st Thou reign , There on a State of dazling Lustre sit , There shine in Robes of pure refined Light ; Where Sun 's coarse Rays are but a Foil and Stain , And refuse Stars the sweepings of thy glorious Train . 3. There all Thy Family of menial Saints , Huge Colonies of bless'd Inhabitants , Which Death through countless Ages has transplanted hence , Now on Thy Throne for ever wait , And fill the large Retinue of thy heav'nly State. There reverend Prophets stand , a pompous goodly show . Of old thy Envoys extraordinary here , Who brought thy sacred Embassies of Peace and War , That to th' obedient , this the rebel world below . By them the mighty Twelve have their abode , Companions once of the Incarnate suff●…ring God , Partakers now of all his Triumphs there , As they on earth did in his Miseries share . Of Martyrs next a crown'd and glorious Quire , Illustrious Heroes , who have gain'd Through dangers , and Red Seas of Bloud the Promis'd Land , And pass'd through Ordeal Flames to the Eternity in Fire . There all make up the Consort of thy Praise , To Thee they sing ( and never cease ) Loud Hymns , and Hallelujah's of Applause : An Angel-Laureat does the Sense and Strains compose , Sense far above the reach of mortal Verse , Strains far above the reach of mortal ears , And all , a Muse unglorified can fancy , or rehearse . 4. Nor is this Consort only kept above , Nor is it to the Bless'd alone confin'd ; But Earth , and all thy Faithful here are joyn'd , And strive to vie with them in Duty and in Love : And , tho they cannot equal Notes and Measures raise , Strive to return th' imperfect Ecchoes of thy Praise . They through all Nations own thy glorious Name , And every where the great Three-One proclaim , Thee , Father of the World , and Us , and Him , Who must Mankind , whom Thou didst make , Redeem , Thee , blessed Saviour , the ador'd , true , only Son To man debas'd , to rescue Man undone : And Thee , Eternal , Holy Power , Who do'st by Grace exalted Man restore To all , he lost by the old Fall , and Sin before : You bless'd and glorious Trinity , Riddle to baffled Knowledg and Philosophy , Which cannot conprehend the mighty Mystery Of numerous One , and the unnumber'd Three Vast topless Pile of Wonders ! at whose sight Reason it self turns giddy with the height , Above the flutt'ring pitch of humane Wit , And all , but the strong wings of Faith , that Eagle's towring flight . 5. Bless'd Jesu ! how shall we enough adore , Or thy unbounded Love , or thy unbounded Pow'r ? Thou art the Prince of Heav'n , thou are the Almighty's Heir , Thou art th' Eternal Off-spring of th' Eternal Sire : Hail thou the Worlds Redeemer ! whom to free From bonds of Death and endless misery , Thou thought'st it no disdain to be Inhabiter in low mortality : Th' Almighty thought it no disdain To dwell in the pure Virgins spotless Womb , There did the boundless Godhead , and whole Heav'n find room , And a small point the Circle of Infinity contain . Hail Ransom of Mankind , all-great , all-good ! Who didst attone us with thy Bloud , Thy self the Offering , Altar , Priest , and God : Thy self didst die to be our glorious Bail From Death's Arrests , and the eternal Flaming Jail : Thy self thou gav'st th' inestimable Price , To Purchase and Redeem our morgag'd Heav'n and Happiness . Thither , when thy great Work on Earth had end , When Death it self was slain and dead , And Hell with all its Powers captive led ; Thou didst again triumphantly Ascend : There do'st Thou now by Thy great Father sit on high , With equal Glory , equal Majesty , Joynt-Ruler of the everlasting Monarchy . 6. Again from thence thou shalt with greater triumph come , When the last Trumpet sounds the general Doom : And ( lo ! ) thou com'st , and ( lo ! ) the direful sound does make Through Deaths wide Realm Mortality awake : And ( lo ) they all appear At Thy Dread Bar , And all receive th' unalterable Sentence there . Affrighted Nature trembles at the dismal Day , And shrinks for fear , and vanishes away : Both that , and Time breath out their last , and now they die , And now are swallow'd up and lost in vast Eternity . Mercy , O mercy , angry God! Stop , stop thy flaming Wrath , too fierce to be withstood , And quench it with the Deluge of thy Bloud ; Thy precious Bloud which was so freely spilt To wash us from the stains of Sin and Guilt : O write us with it in the Book of Fate Amongst thy Chosen , and Predestinate , Free Denizens of Heav'n , of the Immortal State. 7. Guide us , O Saviour ! guide thy Church below , Both Way , and Star , Compass , and Pilot Thou : Do thou this frail and t●…tt'ring Vessel steer Through Life's tempestuous Ocean here , Through all the tossing Waves of Fear , And dang'rous Rocks of black Despair . Safe under Thee we shall to the wish'd Haven move , And reach the undiscover'd Lands of Bliss above , Thus low ( behold ! ) to thy great Name we bow , And thus we ever wish to grow : Constant , as Time does thy fix'd Laws obey , To Thee our Worship and our Thanks we pay : With these we wake the chearful Light , With these we Sleep , and Rest invite ; An●… thus we spend our Breath , and thus we spend our Days , And never cease to Sing , and never cease to Praise . 8. While thus each Breast , and Mouth , and Ear Are filled with thy Praise , and Love , and Fear , Let never Sin get room , or entrance there : Vouchsafe , O Lord , through this and all our days To guard us with Thy pow'rful Grace : Within our hearts let no usurping Lust be found , No rebel Passion tumult raise , To break thy Laws , or break our Peace , But set thy Watch of Angels on the Place , And keep the Tempter still from that forbidden ground . Ever , O Lord , to us thy mercies grant , Never , O Lord , let us thy mercies want , Ne're want Thy Favour , Bounty , Liberality , But let them ever on us be , Constant as our own Hope and Trust on Thee : On Thee we all our Hope and Trust repose ; O never leave us to our Foes , Never , O Lord , desert our Cause : Thus aided and upheld by Thee , We 'll fear no Danger , Death , nor Misery ; Fearless we thus will stand a falling world With crushing Ruins all about us hurl'd , And face wide gaping Hell , & all its slighted Pow'rs defie . A Letter from the Country to a Friend in Town , giving an Account of the Author's Inclinations to Poetry . Written in July , 1678. AS to that Poet ( if so great a one , as he , May suffer in comparison with me ) When heretofore in Scythian exile pent , To which he to ungrateful Rome was sent . If a kind Paper from his Country came . And wore subscrib'd some known , and faithful Name ; That like a pow'rful Cordial , did infuse New life into his speechless gasping Muse , And strait his Genius , which before did seem Bound up in Ice , and frozen as the Clime , By its warm force , and friendly influence thaw'd , Dissolv'd apace , and in soft numbers flow'd : Such welcome here , dear Sir , your Letter had With me shut up in close constraint as bad : Not eager Lovers , held in long suspence , With warmer Joy , and a more tender sense Meet those kind Lines , which all their wishes bless ' And Sign , and Seal deliver'd Happiness : My grateful Thoughts so throng to get abroad , They over run each other in the crowd : To you with hasty flight they take their way , And hardly for the dress of words will stay . Yet pardon , if this only fault●… find , That while you praise too much , you are less kind : Consider , Sir , 't is ill and dang'rous thus To over-lay a young and tender Muse : Praise , the fine Diet , which we 're apt to love , If given to excess , does hurtful prove : Where it does weak , distemper'd Stomachs mee●… That surfeits , which should nourishment create . Your rich Perfumes such fragrancy dispense , Their sweetness overcomes , and palls my sense ; On my weak head you heap so many Bays , I sink beneath 'em , quite oppress'd with Praise , And a resembling fate with him receive , Who in too kind a triumph found his Grave , Smother'd with Garlands , which Applauders gave , To you these Praises justlier all belong , By alienating which , your self you wrong : Whom better can such commendations fit Than you , who so well teach and practise Wit ? Verse , the great boast of drudging Fools , from some , May most of Scriblers with much straining come : They void 'em dribling , and in pain they write , As if they had a Strangury of Wit : Your Pen uncall'd they readily obey , And scorn your Ink should flow so fast as they : Each strain of yours so easie does appear , Each such a graceful negligence does wear , As shews you have none , and yet want no care . None of your serious pains or time they cost , But what thrown by , you can afford for lost : If such the fruits of your loose leisure be , Your careless minutes yield such Poetry ; We guess what proofs your Genius would impart , Did it employ you , as it does divert : But happy you , more prudent , and more wise , With better aims have fix'd your noble choice . While silly I all thriving Arts refuse , And all my hopes , and all my vigour lose , In service on that worst of Jilts , a Muse , For gainful business court ignoble ease , And in gay Trisles wast my ill-spent days . Little I thought , my dearest Friend , that you Would thus contribute to my Ruine too : O're-run with filthy Poetry , and Rhyme , The present reigning evil of the time , I lack'd , and ( well I did my self assure ) From your kind hand I should receive a cure : When ( lo ! ) instead of healing Remedies , You cherish , and encourage the Disease : Inhumane you help the Distemper on , Which was before but too inveterate grown . As a kind looker on , who int'rest shares , Tho not in 's stake , yet in his hopes and fears , Would to his Friend a pushing Gamester do , Recall his Elbow when he hastes to throw ; Such a wise course you should have took with me . A rash and vent'ring fool in Poetry . Poets are Cullies , whom Rook Fame draws in , And wheadles with deluding hopes to win : But , when they hit , and most successful are , They scarce come off with a bare saving share . Oft ( I remember ) did wise Friends dissuade , And bid me quit the trisling barren Trade . Oft have I tried ( Heav'n knows ) to mortifie This vile , and wicked lust of Poetry : But still unconquer'd it remains within , Fix'd as an Habit , or some darling Sin. In vain I better studies there would sow , Often I 've tried , but none will thrive , or grow : All my best thoughts , when I 'd most serious be , Are never from its foul infection free : Nay ( God forgive me ) when I say my Prayers , I scarce can help polluting them with Verse : That fabulous Wretch of old revers'd I seem , Who turn whate're I touch to Dross and Rhyme . Oft to divert the wild Caprice , I try If Sovereign Wisdom and Philosophy Rightly applied , will give a remedy : Strait the great Stagyrite I take in hand , Seek Nature , and my Self to understand : Much I reflect on his vast Worth and Fame , And much my low , and groveling aims condemn , And quarrel , that my ill-pack'd Fate should be This vain , this worthless thing call'd Poetry : But when I find this unregarded Toy Could his important Thoughts , and Pains employ , By reading there I am but more undone , And meet that danger , which I went to shun . Oft when ill Humour , Shagrin , Discontent Give leisure my wild Follies to resent , I thus against my self my Passion vent . " Enough , mad rhiming Sot , enough for shame , " Give o're , and all thy Quills to Tooth-picks Damn ; " Didst ever thou the Altar rob , or worse , " Kill the Priest there , and Maids receiving force ? " What else could merit this so heavy Curse ? " The greatest Curse , I can , I wish on him , " If there be any greater than to rhime ) " Who first did of the lewd invention think , " First made two lines with sounds resembling clink , " And , swerving from the easie paths of Prose , " Fetters , and Chains did on free Sense impose : " Curss'd too be all the fools , who since have went " Misled in steps of that ill President : " Want be entail'd their lot : — and on I go ; Wreaking my spight on all the jingling Crew : Scarce the beloved Cowley scapes , tho I Might sooner my own curses fear , than he : And thus resolv'd against the scribling vein , I deeply swear never to write again . But when bad Company and Wine conspire To kindle , and renew the foolish Fire , Straitways relaps'd , I feel the raving fit Return , and strait I all my Oaths forget : The Spirit , which I thought cast out before , Enters again with stronger force , and power , Worse than at first , and tyrannizes more . No sober good advice will then prevail , Nor from the raging Frenzy me recal : Cool Reason's dictates me no more can move Than men in Drink , in Bedlam , or in Love : Deaf to all means which might most proper seem Towards my cure , I run stark mad in Rhime : A sad poor haunted wretch , whom nothing less Than Prayers of the Church can dispossess . Sometimes , after a tedious day half spent , When Fancy long has hunted on cold Scent , Tir'd in the dull , and fruitless chase of Thought , Despairing I grow weary , and give out : As a dry Lecher pump'd of all my store , I loath the thing , 'cause I can do 't no more : But , when I once begin to find again , Recruits of matter in my pregnant Brain , Again more eager I the haunt pursue , And with fresh vigour the lov'd sport renew : Tickled with some strange pleasure , which I find , And think a secresie to all mankind , I please my self with the vain , false delight , And count none happy , but the Fops that write . 'T is endless , Sir , to tell the many ways , Wherein my poor deluded self I please : How , when the Fancy lab'ring for a Birth , With unfelt Throws brings its rude issue forth : How after , when imperfect shapeless Thought Is by the Judgment into Fashion wrought . When at first search I traverse o're my mind , Nought but a dark , and empty Void I find : Some little hints at length , like sparks , break thence , And glimm'ring Thoughts just dawning into sense : Cōfus'd a while the mixt Idea's lie , With nought of mark to be discover'd by , Like colours undistinguish'd in the night , Till the dusk Images , mov'd to the light , Teach the discerning Faculty to chuse , Which it had best adopt , and which refuse . Here rougher strokes , touch'd with a careless dash , Resemble the first sitting of a face : There finish'd draughts in form more full appear , And to their justness ask no further care . Mean while with inward joy I proud am grown , To see the work successfully go on : And prize my self in a creating power , That could make something , what was nought before ▪ Sometimes a stiff , unwieldy thought I meet , Which to my Laws will scarce be made submit : But , when , after expence of pains and time , 'T is manag'd well , and taught to yoke in Rhime , I triumph more , than joyful Warriours wou'd , Had they some stout , and hardy Foe subdu'd : And idly think , less goes to their Command , That makes arm'd Troops in well-plac'd order stand , Than to the conduct of my words , when they March in due ranks , are set in just array . Sometimes on wings of Thought I seem on high , As men in sleep , though motionless they lie , Fledg'd by a Dream , believe they mount and fly : So Witches some enchanted Wand bestride , And think they through the airy Regions ride , Where Fancy is both Traveller , Way , and Guide : Then strait I grow a strange exalted thing , And equal in conceit , at least a King : As the poor Drunkard , when Wine stums his brains , Anointed with that Liquor , thinks he reigns . Bewitch'd by these Delusions 't is I write , ( The tricks some pleasant Devil plays in spight ) And when I 'm in the freakish Trance , which I Fond silly Wretch , mistake for Extasie , I find all former Resolutions vain , And thus recant them , and make new again . " What was 't , Irashly vow'd ▪ shall ever I " Quit my beloved Mistris , Poetry ? " Thou sweet beguiler of my lonely hours , " Which thus glide unperceiv'd with silent course : " Thou gentle Spell , which undisturb'd do'st keep " My Breast , and charm intruding care asleep : " They say , thou' rt poor , and unendow'd , what tho ? " For thee I this vain , worthless world sorgo : " Let Wealth , and Honour be for Fortunes Slaves , " The Alms of Fools , and Prize of crafty Knaves : " To me thou art , whate're th' ambitious crave , " And all that greedy Misers want , or have : " In Youth , or Age , in Travel , or at Home , " Here , or in Town , at London , or at Rome , " Rich , or a Beggar , free , or in the Fleet , " Whate're my Fate is , 't is my Fate to write . Thus I have made my shrifted Muse consess , Her secret Feebless , and her Weaknesses : All her hid Faults she sets expos'd to view , And hopes a gentle Confessor in you : She hopes an easie pardon for her sin , Since 't is but what she is not wilful in , Nor yet has scandalous nor open been . Try if your ghostly counsel can reclaim The heedless wanton from her guilt and shame : At least be not ungenerous to reproach That wretched frailty , which you 've help'd debauch . 'T is now high time to end , for fear I grow More tedious than old Doaters , when they woo . Than travel'd Fops , when far fetch'd lies they prate . Or flatt'ring Poets , when they dedicate . No dull forgiveness I presume to crave , Nor vainly for my tiresom length ask leave Lest I , as often formal Coxcombs use . Prolong that very fault , I would excuse May this the same kind welcome find with you As yours did here , and ever shall ; Adieu . Upon a Printer that exposed him by Printing a Piece of his grosly mangled , and faulty . DUll , and unthinking ! hadst thou none but me To plague , and urge to thine own Infamy ? Had I some tame and sneaking Author been , Whose Muse to Love , and softness did incline , Some small Adventurer in Song , that whines Chloris and Phyllis out in charming lines , Fit to divert mine Hostess , and mislead The heart of some poor tawdry Waiting Maid ; Perhaps I might have then forgiven thee , And thou hadst scap'd from my resentments free . But I whom spleen , and manly rage inspire , Brook no affront , at each offence take fire : Born to chastise the Vices of the Age , Which Pulpits dare not , nor the very Stage : Sworn to lash Knaves of all degrees , and spare None of the kind , however great they are : Satyr's my only Province , and delight , For whose dear sake alone I 've vow'd to write : For this I seek occasions , court Abuse , To shew my Parts , and signalize my Muse : Fond of a Quarrel , as young Bullies are To make their Mettle , and their Skill appear : And didst thou think I would a wrong acquit , That touch'd my tender'st part of Honour , Wit ? No , Villain , may my Sins ne're pardon'd be By Heav'n it self , if e're I pardon thee . Members from breach of Privilege deter By threatning Topham and a Messenger : Scroggs , and the Brothers of the Coif oppose , By force and dint of Statutes , and the Laws : Strumpets of Billingsgate redress their wrongs By the sole noise , and foulness of their Tongues : And I go always arm'd for my defence , To punish , and revenge an insolence . I wear my Pen , as others do their Sword , To each affronting Sot , I meet , the word Is Satisfaction : strait to Thrusts I go , And pointed Satyr runs him through and through . Perhaps thou hop'dst that thy obscurity Should be thy safeguard , and secure thee free . No , wretch , I mean from thence to fetch thee out , Like sentence'd Felons , to be drag'd about : Torn , mangled , and expos'd to scorn , and shame , I mean to hang , and Gibbet up thy Name . If thou to live in Satyr so much thirst , Enjoy thy wish , and Fame , till envy burst , Renown'd , as he , whom banish'd Ovid curst : Or he , whom old Archilochus so stung In Verse , that he for shame , and madness hung : Deathless in infamy , do thou so live , And le●…my Rage , like his , to Halters drive . Thou thoughtst perhaps my Gall was spent and gone , My Venom drain'd , and Ia stingless Drone : Thou thoughtst I had no Curses left in store ; But to thy sorrow know , and find I 've more , More , and more dreadful yet , able to scare , Like Hell , and urge to Daggers , and Despair : Such thou shalt feel , are still reserv'd by me , To vex and force thee to thy Destiny : Since thou hast brav'd my vengeance thus ; prepare , And tremble from my Pen thy Doom to hear . Thou , who with spurious Nonsense durst profane The genuine issue of a Poets Brain , May'st thou hereafter never deal in Verse , But what hoarse Bell-men in their Walks rehearse , Or Smithfield Audience sung on Crickets hears : May'st thou print H — , or some duller Ass , Jordan , or Him , that wrote Dutch Hudibrass : Or next vile Scribler of the House , whose Play Will scarce for Candles , and their snuffing pay : May you each other Curse ; thy self undone , And he the laughing-stock of all the Town . May'st thou ne're rise to History , but what Poor Grubstreet Peny Chroniclers relate , Memoirs of Tyburn , and the mournful State Of Cut-purses in Holborn Cavalcade , Till thou thy self be the same subject made . Compell'd by want , may'st thou Print Popery , For which be the Carts Arse , and Pillory , Turnips , and rotten Eggs thy destiny . Maul'd worse than Reading , Christian , or Cellier , Till thou daub'd o're with loathsom filth , appear Like Brat of some vile Drab in Privy found , Which there has lain three months in Ordure drown'd . The Plague of Poets , Rags , and Poverty , Debts , Writs , Arrests , and Serjeants light on thee : For others bound , may'st thou to Durance go , Condemn'd to Scraps , and begging with a Shoo : And may'st thou never from the Jail get free , Till thou swear out thy self by Perjury : Forlorn , abandon'd , pitiless , and poor , As a pawn'd Cully , or a mortgag'd Whore , May'st thou an Halter want for thy Redress , Forc'd to steal Hemp to end thy miseries , And damn thy self to balk the Hangmans Fees. And may no faucy Fool have better Fate That dares pull down the Vengeance of my Hate . FINIS . POEMS , AND Translations . By the AUTHOR of The Satyrs upon the Jesuits . LONDON , Printed for Jos. Hindmarsh , Bookseller to his Royal Highness , at the Black Bull in Cornhill , 1684. Advertisement . THE Author of the following Pieces must be excused for their being hudled out so confusedly . They are Printed just as he finished them off , and some things there are which he designed not ever to expose , but was fain to do it , to keep the Press at work , when it was once set a going . If it be their Fate to perish , and go the way of all mortal Rhimes , 't is no great matter in what method they have been placed , no more than whether Ode , Elegy , or Satyr have the honour of Wiping first . But if they , and what he has formerly made Publick , be so happy as to live , and come forth in an Edition all together ; perhaps he may then think them worth the sorting in better Order . By that time belike he means to have ready a very Sparkish Dedication , if he can but get himself known to some Great Man , that will give a good parcel of Guinnies for being handsomly flatter'd . Then likewise the Reader ( for his farther comfort ) may expect to see him appear with all the Pomp and Trappings of an Author ; his Head in the Front very finely cut , together with the Year of his Age , Commendatory Verses in abundance , and all the Hands of the Poets of the Quorum to confirm his Book , and pass it for Authentick . This at present is content to come abroad naked , Undedicated , and unprefaced , without one kind Word to shelter it from Censure ; and so let the Criticks take it amongst them . THE TABLE . MOnfieur Boileau's Satyr upon Man , imitated , Page 1 Juvenal's thirteenth Satyr , imitated 25 David's Lamentation for the Death of Saul and Jonathan , paraphras'd . Ode 49 The Ode of Aristotle in Athenaeus , paraphrased 66 Upon the Works of Ben. Johnson . Ode 69 The ninth Ode of the third Book of Horace , imitated 87 Upon a Lady , who by overturning of a Coach had her Coats behind flung up , and what was under shewn to the view of the Company 90 Catullus , Epigram 7. imitated 97 The fourth Elegy of the second Book of Ovid's Amours , imitated 99 The fifth Elegy of the same Book , imitated 104 The tenth Elegy of the same Book , imitated 110 A Fragment of Petronius , paraphrased 114 An Ode of Anacreon , paraphrased 116 An Allusion to Martial , Book 1. Epigr. 118. 120 The Dream , an Elegy 122 A Satyr , touching Nobility . Out of French 127 A Satyr , addressed to a Friend that is about to leave the University and come abroad in the world 137 Presenting a Book to Cosmelia . Elegy 149 The Parting . Elegy 153 Complaining of Absence . Elegy 156 Promising a Visit. Elegy 158 The careless Good Fellow . Song 160 A Satyr concerning Poetry 164 The third Satyr of Juvenal , imitated 180 A Dithyrambick . The Drunkards Speech in a Mask 206 THE EIGHTH SATYR OF Monsieur BOILEAU , Imitated . Written in October , 1682. The POET brings himself in , as discoursing with a Doctor of the University upon the Subject ensuing . OF all the Creatures in the world that be , Beast , Fish , or Fowl , that go , or swim , or fly Throughout the Globe from London to Japan , The arrant'st Fool in my opinion's Man. What ? ( strait I 'm taken up ) an Ant , a Fly , A tiny Mite , which we can hardly see Without a Perspective , a silly Ass , Or freakish Ape ? Dare you affirm , that these Have greater sense than Man ? Ay , questionless . Doctor , I find you 're shock'd at this discourse : Man is ( you cry ) Lord of the Universe ; For him was this fair frame of Nature made , And all the Creatures for his use , and aid : To him alone of all the living kind , Has bounteous Heav'n the reas'ning gift assign'd . True Sir , that Reason ever was his lot , But thence I argue Man the greater Sot. This idle talk , ( say you ) and rambling stuff May pass in Satyr , and take well enough With Sceptick Fools , who are dispos'd to jeer At serious things : but you must make 't appear By solid proof . Believe me , Sir , I 'll do 't : Take you the Desk , and let 's dispute it out . Then by your favour , tell me first of all , What 't is , which you grave Doctors Wisdom call ? You answer : 'T is an evenness of Soul , A steddy temper , which no cares controul , No passions ru●…le , nor desires inflame , Still constant to its self , and still the same , That does in all its slow Resolves advance , With graver steps , than Benchers , when they dance . Most true ; yet is not this , I dare maintain , Less us'd by any , than the Fool , call'd Man. The wiser Emmet , quoted just before , In Summer time ranges the Fallows o're With pains , and labour , to lay in his store : But when the blust'ring North with ruffling blasts Saddens the year , and Nature overcasts ; The prudent Insect , hid in privacy , Enjoys the fruits of his past industry . No Ant of sense was e're so awkard seen , To drudg in Winter , loiter in the Spring . But sillier man , in his mistaken way , By Reason , his false guide , is led astray : Tost by a thousand gusts of wavering doubt , His restless mind still rolls from thought to thought : In each resolve unsteady , and unfixt , And when he one day loaths , desires the next . Shall I , so fam'd for many a tuant jest On wiving , now go take a jilt at last ? Shall I turn Husband , and my station choose , Amongst the reverend Martyrs of the Noose ? No , there are fools enough besides in Town , To surnish work for Satyr , and Lampoon : Few months before cried the unthinking Sot , Who quickly after , hamper'd in the knot , Was quoted for an instance by the rest , And bore his Fate , as tamely as the best , And thought , that Heav'n from some miraculous side , For him alone had drawn a faithful Bride . This is our image just : such is that vain , That foolish , fickle , motly Creature , Man : More changing than a Weathercock , his Head N●…'r wakes with the same thoughts , he went to bed , Irksome to all beside , and ill at ease , He neither others , nor himself can please : Each minute round his whirling humours run , Now he 's a Trooper , and a Priest anon , To day in Buff , to morrow in a Gown . Yet , pleas'd with idle whimsies of his brain , And puft with pride , this haughty thing would fain Be thought himself the only stay , and prop , That holds the mighty frame of Nature up : The Skies and Stars his properties must seem , And turn-spit Angels tread the Spheres for him : Of all the Creatures he 's the Lord ( he cries ) More absolute , than the French King of his . And who is there ( say you ) that dares deny So own'd a truth ? That may be , Sir , do I. But to omit the controversie here , Whether , if met , the Passenger and Bear , This or the other stands in greater fear . Or if an Act of Parliament should pass That all the Irish Wolves should quit the place , They 'd strait obey the Statutes high command , And at a minutes warning rid the Land : This boasted Monarch of the world , that aw● The Creatures here , and with his beck gives Laws ; This titular King , who th●s pretends to be The Lord of all , how many Lords has he ? The lust of Money , and the lust of Power , With Love , and Hate , and twenty passions more , Hold him their slave , and chain him to the Oar. Scarce has soft sleep in silence clos'd his eyes , Up ! ( strait says Avarice ) 't is time to rise . Not yet : one minute longer . Up ! ( she cries ) Th' Exchange , and Shops are hardly open yet . No matter : Rise ! But after all , for what ? D' ye ask ▪ go , cut the Line , double the Cape , Traverse from end to end the spacious deep : Search both the Indies , Bantam , and Japan : Fetch Sugars from Barbadoes , Wines from Spain . What needs all this ? I 've wealth enough in store , I thank the Fates , nor care for adding more . You cannot have too much , this point to gain , You must no Crime , no Perjury refrain , Hunger you must endure , Hardship , and Want , Amidst full Barns keep an eternal Lent , And tho you 've more than B — m has spent , Or C — n got , like stingy B — el save , And grudg your self the charges of a Grave , And the small Ransom of a single Groat , From Sword , or Halter to redeem your Throat . And pray , why all this sparing ? Don't you know ? Only t' enrich a spendthrift Heir , or so : Who shall , when you are timely dead , and gone , With his gilt Coach , and Six amuse the Town , Keep his gay brace of Punks , and vainly give More for a night , than you to fine for Shrieve . But you lose time ! the Wind , and Vessel waits , Quick , let 's aboard ! Hey for the Downs , and Streights . Or , if all-powerful Money fail of charms : To tempt the wretch , and push him on to harms : With a strong hand does fierce Ambition seize , And drag him forth from soft repose and ease : Amidst ten thousand dangers spurs him on , With loss of Bloud and Limbs to hunt renown . Who for reward of many a wound and maim , Is paid with nought but wooden Legs , and Fame ; And the poor comfort of a grinning Fate , To stand recorded in the next Gazette . But hold ( cries one ) your paltry gibing wit , Or learn henceforth to aim it more aright : If this be any ; 't is a glorious fault , Which through all Ages has been ever thought The Hero's virtue , and chief excellence : Pray , what was Alexander in your sense ? A Fool belike . Yes , faith , Sir , much the same : A crack brain'd Huff , that set the world on flame : A Lunatick broke loose , who in his fit Fell foul on all , invaded all , he met : Who , Lord of the whole Globe , yet not content , Lack'd elbow-room , and seem'd too closely pent . What madness was 't , that , born to a fair Throne , Where he might rule with Justice , and Renown , Like a wild Robber , he should choose to roam , A pitied wretch , with neither house , nor home , And hurling War , and Slaughter up and down , Through the wide world make his vast folly known ? Happy for ten good reasons had it been , If Macedon had had a Bedlam then : That there with Keepers under close restraint He might have been from frantick mischief pent . But that we mayn't in long digressions now Discourse all Rainolds , and the Passions through , And ranging them in method stiff , and grave , Rhime on by Chapter , and by Paragraph ; Let 's quit the present Topick of dispute , For More and Cudworth to enlarge about ; And take a view of man in his best light , Wherein he seems to most advantage set , 'T is he alone ( you 'l say ) 't is happy he , That 's fram'd by Nature for Society : He only dwells in Towns , is only seen With Manners and Civility to shine ; Does only Magistrates , and Rulers choose , And live secur'd by Government , and Laws . 'T is granted , Sir ; but yet without all these , Without your boasted Laws , and Policies , Or fear of Judges , or of Justices ; Who ever saw the Wolves , that he can say , Like more inhumane Us , so bent on prey , To rob their fellow Wolves upon the way ? Who ever saw Church and Fanatick Bear , Like savage Mankind one another tear ? What Tyger e're , aspiring to be great , In Plots and Factions did embroil the State ? Or when was 't heard upon the Libian Plains , Where the stern Monarch of the Desert reigns , That Whig and Tory Lions in wild jars Madly engag'd for choice of Shrieves and May'rs ? The fiercest Creatures , we in Nature find , Respect their figure still in the same kind ; To others rough , to these they gentle be , And live from Noise , from Feuds , from Actions free . No Eagle does upon his Peerage sue , And strive some meaner Eagle to undo : No Fox was e're suborn'd by spite , or hire , Against his brother Fox his life to swear : Nor any Hind , for Impotence at Rut , Did e're the Stag into the Arches put ; Where a grave Dean the weighty Case might state , What makes in Law a carnal Job complete : They fear no dreadful Quo Warranto Writ , To shake their ancient privilege and right : No Courts of Sessions , or Assize are there , No Common-Pleas , Kings-Bench , or Chancery-Bar : But happier they , by Natures Charter free , Secure , and safe in mutual peace agree , And know no other Law , but Equity . 'T is Man , 't is Man alone , that worst of Brutes , Who first brought up the trade of cutting Throats , Did Honour first , that barbarous term , devise , Unknown to all the gentler Savages ; And , as 't were not enough t' have fetch'd from Hell , Powder , and Guns , with all the arts to kill , Farther to plague the World , he must ingross Huge Codes , and bulky Pandects of the Laws , With Doctors Glosses to perplex the Cause , Where darken'd Equity is kept from light , Under vast Reams of non sense buried quite . Gently , good Sir ! ( cry you ) why all this rant ? Man has his freaks , and passions ; that we grant : He has his frailties , and blind sides ; who doubts ? But his least Virtues balance all his Faults . Pray , was it not this bold , this thinking Man , That measur'd Heav'n , and taught the Stars to scan , Whose boundless wit , with soaring wings durst fly , Beyond the flaming borders of the sky ; Turn'd Nature o're , and with a piercing view Each cranny search'd , and look'd her through and through : Which of the Brutes have Universities ? When was it heard , that they e're took Degrees , Or were Professors of the Faculties ? By Law , or Physick were they ever known To merit Velvet , or a Scarlet Gown ? No questionless ; nor did we ever read , Of Quacks with them , that were Licentiates made , By Patent to profess the poys'ning Trade : No Doctors in the Desk there hold dispute About Black-pudding , while the wond'ring Rout Listen to hear the knotty Truth made out : Nor Virtuoso's teach deep mysteries Of Arts for pumping Air , and smothering Flies . But not to urge the matter farther now , Nor search it to the depth , what 't is to know , And whether we know any thing or no. Answer me only this , What man is there In this vile thankless Age , wherein we are , Who does by Sense and Learning value bear ? Would'st thou get Honour , and a fair Estate , And have the looks and favours of the Great ? Cries an old Father to his blooming Son , Take the right course , be rul'd by me , 't is done . Leave mouldy Authors to the reading Fools , The poring crowds in Colleges and Schools : How much is threescore Nobles ? Twenty pound . Well said ; my Son , the Answer 's most profound : Go , thou know'st all that 's requisite to know ; What Wealth on thee , what Honours haste to flow ! In these high Sciences thy self employ , Instead of Plato , take thy Hodder , Boy . Learn there the art to audit an Account , To what the Kings Revenue does amount : How much the Customs , and Excise bring in , And what the Managers each year purloin . Get a case-harden'd Conscience , Irish proof , Which nought of pity , sense , or shame can move : Turn Algerine , Barbarian , Turk , or Jew , Unjust , inhumane , treacherous , base , untrue ; Ne'r stick at wrong ; hang Widows sighs and tears , The cant of Priests to frighten Usurers : Boggle at nothing to encrease thy Store , Nor Orphans Spoils , nor plunder of the Poor : And scorning paltry rules of Honesty , By surer methods raise thy Fortune high . Then shoals of Poets , Pedants , Orators , Doctors , Divines , Astrologers , and Lawyers , Authors of every sort , and every size , To thee their Works , and Labours shall address , With pompous Lines their Dedications fill , And learnedly in Greek and Latine tell Lies to thy face , that thou hast deep insight , And art a mighty Judg of what they write . He that is rich , is every thing , that is , Without one grain of Wisdom he is wise , And knowing nought , knows all the Sciences : He 's witty , gallant , virtuous , generous , stout , Well-born , well-bred , well-shap'd , well-drest , what not ? Lov'd by the Great , and courted by the Fair , For none that e're had Riches , found despair : Gold to the loathsom'st object gives a grace , And sets it off , and makes ev'n Bovey please : But tatter'd Poverty they all despise , Love stands aloof , and from the Scare-crow flies . Thus a stanch Miser to his hopeful Brat Chalks out the way that leads to an Estate ; Whose knowledg oft with utmost stretch of Brain No high'r than this vast secret can attain , Five and four's nine , take two , and seven remain , Go , Doctor , after this , and rack your Brains , Unravel Scripture with industrious pains : On musty Fathers waste your fruitless hours , Correct the Criticks , and Expositors : Out-vie great Stilling fleet in some vast Tome , And there confound both Bellarmine and Rome ; Or glean the Rabbies of their learned store ; To find what Father Simon has past o're : Then at the last some bulky piece compile , There lay out all your time , and pains , and skill ? And when 't is done and finish'd for the Press , To some great name the mighty Work address : Who for a full reward of all your toil , Shall pay you with a gracious nod or smile : Just recompence of life too vainly spent ! An empty Thank you Sir , and Complement . But , if to higher Honours you pretend , Take the advice and counsel of a Friend ; Here quit the Desk , and throw your Scarlet by , And to some gainful course your self apply . Go , practise with some Banker how to cheat , There 's choice in Town , enquire in Lombard street . Let Scot and Ockam wrangle as they please , And thus in short with me conclude the case , A Doctor is no better than an Ass. A Doctor , Sir ? your self : Pray have a care , This is to push your Raillery too far . But not to lose the time in trifling thus , Beside the point , come now more home and close : That Man has Reason is beyond debate , Nor will your self , I think , deny me that : And was not this fair Pilot giv'n to steer , His tott'ring Bark through Life's rough Ocean here ? All this I grant : But if in spite of it The Wretch on every Rock he sees will split , To what great purpose does his Reason serve , But to misguide his course , and make him swerve ? What boots it H. when it says , Give o're Thy scribling itch , and play the fool no more . If her vain counsels , purpos'd to reclaim , Only avail to harden him in shame ? Lampoon'd , and hiss'd , and damn'd the thousandth time , Still he writes on , is obstinate in Rhime : His Verse , which he does every where recite , Put all his Neighbors , and his Friends to flight : Scar'd by the rhiming Fiend , they hast away , Nor will his very Groom be hir'd to stay . The Ass , whom Nature Reason has deni'd , Content with Instinct for his surer guide , Still follows that , and wiselier does proceed : He ne'er aspires with his harsh braying Note , The Songsters of the Wood to challenge out : Nor like this awkard smatterer in Arts , Sets up himself for a vain Ass of parts ; Of reason void , he sees , and gains his end , While Man , who does to that false light pretend , Wildly gropes on , and in broad day is blind . By whimsie led he does all things by chance , And acts in each against all common sense . With every thing pleas'd , and displeas'd at once , He knows not what he seeks , nor what he shuns : Unable to distinguish good , or bad , For nothing he is gay , for nothing sad : At random loves , and loaths , avoids , pursues , Enacts , repeals , makes , alters , does , undoes . Did we , like him , e'er see the Dog , or Bear , Chimera's of their own devising fear ? Frame needless doubts , and for those doubts forego The Joys which prompting Nature calls them to ? And with their Pleasures awkardly at strife , With scaring Fantoms pall the sweets of Life ? Tell me , grave Sir , did ever Man see Beast So much below himself , and sense debas'd , To worship Man with superstitious Fear , And fondly to his Idol Temples rear ? Was he e'er seen with Pray'rs , and Sacrifice Approach to him , as Ruler of the Skies , To beg for Rain , or Sun-shine on his knees ? No never : but a thousand times has Beast Seen Man , beneath the meanest Brute debas'd , Fall low to Wood , and Metal heretofore , And madly his own Workmanship adore : In Egypt oft has seen the Sot bow down , And reverence some deified Baboon : Has often seen him on the Banks of Nile Say Pray'rs to the Almighty Crocodile : And now each day in every street abroad Sees prostrate Fools adore a breaden God. But why ( say you ) these spiteful Instances Of Egypt , and its gross Idolatries ? Of Rome , and hers as much ridiculous ? What are these lewd Buffooneries to us ? How gather you from such wild proofs as these , That Man , a Doctor is beneath an Ass ? An Ass ! that heavy , stupid , lumpish Beast , The Sport , and mocking-stock of all the rest ? Whom they all spurn , and whom they all despise , Whose very name all Satyr does comprize ? An Ass , Sir ? Yes : Pray what should make us laugh ? Now he unjustly is our jeer , and scoff . But , if one day he should occasion find Upon our Follies to express his mind ; If Heav'n , as once of old , to check proud Man , By miracle should give him Speech again ; What would he say , d' ye think , could he speak out , Nay , Sir , betwixt us two , what would he not ? What would he say , were he condemn'd to stand For one long hourin Fleetstreet , or the Strand , To cast his eyes upon the motly throng , The two-leg'd Herd , that daily pass along ; To see their odd Disguises , Furs , and Gowns , Their Cassocks , Cloaks , Lawn-sleeves , and Pantaloons ? What would he say to see a Velvet Quack Walk with the price of forty kill'd on 's Back ; Or mounted on a Stage , and gaping loud , Commend his Drugs , and Ratsbane to the Crowd ? What would he think , on a Lord Mayor's day , Should he the Pomp and Pageantry survey ? Or view the Judges , and their solemn Train , March with grave decency to kill a Man ? What would he think of us , should he appear In Term amongst the Crowds at Westminster , And there the hellish din , and Jargon hear , Where S. and his Pack with deep mouth'd Notes Drown Billingsgate , and all its Oyster-Boats ? There see the Judges , Sergeants , Barristers , Attorneys , Counsellors , Solicitors , Cricrs , and Clerks , and all the Savage Crew Which wretched man at his own charge undo ? If after prospect of all this , the Ass Should find the voice he had in Esop's days ; Then , Doctor , then , casting his eyes around On human Fools , which every where abound . Content with Thistles , from all envy free , And shaking his grave head , no doubt he 'd cry Good faith , Man is a Beast as much as we . THE THIRTEENTH SATYR OF JUVENAL , Imitated . Written in April , 1682. ARGUMENT . The POET comforts a Friend , that is overmuch concerned for the loss of a considerable Sum of Money , of which he has lately been cheated by a person , to whom he intrusted the same . This he does by shewing , that nothing comes to pass in the world without Divine Providence , and that wicked Men ( however they seem to escape its Punishment here ) yet suffer abundantly in the torments of an evil Conscience . And by the way takes occasion to lash the Degeneracy , and Villany of the present Times . THere is not one base Act , which men commit , But carries this ill sting along with it , That to the Author it creates regret : And this is some Revenge at least , that he Can ne'er acquit himself of Villany . Tho a Brib'd Judg and Jury set him free . All people , Sir , abhor ( as 't is but just ) Your faithless Friend , wo lately broke his Trust , And curse the treacherous Deed : But , thanks to Fate , That has not bless'd you with so small Estate , But that with patience you may bear the Cross , And need not sink under so mean a Loss . Besides your Case for less concern does call , Because 't is what does usually befall : Ten thousand such might be alledg'd with ease , Out of the common crowd of Instances . Then cease for shame , immoderate regret , And don't your Manhood , and your sense forget : 'T is womanish , and silly to lay forth More cost in Grief than a Misfortune's worth , You scarce can bear a puny trifling ill , It goes so deep ; pray Heav'n ! it does not kill : And all this trouble , and this vainado , Because a Friend ( forsooth ) has prov'd untrue . Shame o' your Beard ! can this so much amaze ? Were you not born in good King Jemmy's days ? And are not you at length yet wiser grown , When threescore Winters on your head have snown ; Almighty Wisdom gives in Holy Writ Wholsom Advise to all , that follow it : And those , that will not its great Counsels hear , May learn from meer experience how to bear ( Without vain strugling ) Fortune's yoke , and how They ought her rudest shocks to undergo , There 's not a day so solemn through the year , Not one red Letter in the Calendar , But we of some new Crime discover'd hear . Theft , Murder , Treason , Perjury , what not ? Moneys by Cheating , Padding , Poisoning got . Nor is it strange ; so few are now the Good , That fewer scarce were left at Noah's Flood : Should Sodom's Angel here in Fire descend , Our Nation wants ten Men to save the Land , Fate has reserv'd us for the very Lees Of Time , where Ill admits of no degrees : An Age so bad old Poets ne'r could frame , Nor find a Metal out to give 't a name . This your Experience knows ; and yet for all On faith of God , and Man aloud you call , Louder than on Queen Bess's day the Rout For Antichrist burnt in Effigie shout : But , tell me , Sir , tell me , grey-headed Boy , Do you not know what Lech'ry men enjoy In stollen Goods ? For Gods sake don't you see How they all laugh at your simplicity , When gravely you forewarn of Perjury ? Preach up a God , and Hell , vain empty names , Exploded now for idle thredbare shams , Devis'd by Priests , and by none else believ'd , E'er since great Hobbs the World has undeceiv'd ? This might have past with the plain simple Race Of our Forefathers in King Arthur's days : E're , mingling with corrupted forein Seed , We learn'd their Vice , and spoil'd our native Breed . E're yet bless'd Albion , high in ancient Fame , With her first Innocence resign'd her Name . Fair dealing then , and downright Honesty , And plighted Faith were good Security : No vast Ingrossments for Estates were made , Nor Deeds , large as the Lands , which they convey'd : To bind a Trust there lack'd no formal ties Of Paper , Wax , and Seals , and Witnesses , Nor ready Coin , but sterling Promises : Each took the other's word , and that would go For currant then , and more than Oaths do now : None had recourse to Chanc'ry for defence , Where you forego your Right with less Expence : Nor traps were yet set up for Perjurers , That catch men by the Heads , and whip off Ears . Then Knave , and Villain , things unheard of were , Scarce in a Century did one appear , And he more gaz'd at than a Blazing-Star : If a young Stripling put not off his Hat In high respect to every Beard he met , Tho a Lord's Son , and Heir , 't was held a crime , That scarce deserv'd its Clergy in that time : So venerable then was four years odds , And grey old Heads were r●…verenc'd as Gods. Now if a Friend once in an Age prove just , If he miraculously keep his Trust , And without force of Law deliver all That 's due , both Interest , and Principal ; Prodigious wonder ! fit for Stow to tell , And stand recorded in the Chronicle ; A thing less memorable would require As great a Monument as London Fire . A man of Faith and Uprightness is grown So strange a Creature both in Court and Town , That he with Elephants may well be shewn . A Monster , more uncommon than a Whale At Bridge , the last great Comet , or the Hail , Than Thames his double Tide , or should he run With Streams of Milk , or Bloud to Gravesend down . You 're troubled that you 've lost five hundred pound By treacherous Fraud : another may be found , Has lost a thousand : and another yet , Double to that ; perhaps his whole Estate . Little do folks the heav'nly Powers mind , If they but scape the knowledge of Mankind : Observe , with how demure , and grave a look The Rascal lays his hand upon the Book : Then with a praying Face , and lifted Eye Claps on his Lips , and Seals the Perjury : If you persist his Innocence to doubt , And boggle in Belief ; he 'l strait rapout Oaths by the volley , each of which would make Pale Atheists start , and trembling Bullies quake ; And more than would a whole Ships Crew maintain To the East-Indies hence , and back again . As God shall pardon me , Sir , I am free Of what you charge me with : let me ne'r see His Face in Heaven else : may these hands rot , These eyes drop out ; if Ie'er had a Groat Of yours , or if they ever touch'd , or saw 't . Thus he 'l run on two hours in length , till he Spin out a curse long as the Litany : Till Heav'n has scarce a Judgment left in store For him to wish , deserve , or suffer more . These are , who disavow all Providence , And think the world is only steer'd by chance : Make God at best an idle looker on , A lazy Monarch lolling in his Throne : Who his Affairs does neither mind , or know , And leaves them all at random here below : And such as every foot themselves will damn , And Oaths no more than common Breath esteem : No shame , nor loss of Ears can frighten these , Were every Street a Grove of Pillories . Others there be , that own a God , and fear His Vengeance to ensue , and yet forswear : Thus to himself , says one , Let Heaven decree What Doom soe're , its pleasure will , of me : Strike me with Blindness , Palsies , Leprosies , Plague , Pox , Consumption , all the Maladies Of both the Spittles ; so I get my Prize , And hold it sure ; I 'll suffer these , and more ; All Plagues are light to that of being poor . There 's not a begging Cripple in the streets ( Unless he with his Limbs has lost his Wits , And is grown fit for Bedlam ) but no doubt , To have his Wealth would have the Rich man's Gout . Grant Heavens Vengeance heavy be ; what tho ? The heaviest things move slowliest still we know : And , if it punish all , that guilty be , 'T will be an Age before it come to me : God too is merciful , as well as just ; Therefore I 'll rather his forgiveness trust , Than live despis'd , and poor , as thus I must : I 'll try , and hope , he 's more a Gentleman Than for such trivial things as these , to damn . Besides , for the same Fact we 've often known One mount the Cart , another mount the Throne : And foulest Deeds , attended with success , No longer are reputed wickedness , Disguis'd with Virtues Livery , and Dress . With these weak Arguments they fortifie , And harden up themselves in Villany : The Rascal now dares call you to account , And in what Court you please , joyn issue on 't : Next Term he 'l bring the Action to be tri'd , And twenty Witnesses to swear on 's side : And , if that Justice to his Cause be found , Expects a Verdict of five hundred pound . Thus he , who boldly dares the Guilt out-face , For innocent shall with the Rabble pass : While you , with Impudence , and sham run down , Are only thought the Knave by all the Town . Mean time , poor you at Heav'n exclaim , and rail , Louder than I — at the Bar does Bawl : Is there a Pow'r above ? and does he hear ? And can he tamely Thunder bolts ferbear ? To what vain end do we with Pray'rs adore ? And on our bended knees his aid implore ? Where is his Rule , if no respect be had , Of Innocence , or Guilt , of Good , or Bad ? And who henceforth will any credit show To what his lying Priests teach here below ? If this be Providence ; for ought I see , Bless'd Saint , Vaninus ! I shall follow thee : Little 's the odds 'twixt such a God , and that , Which Atheist Lewis us'd to wear in 's Hat. Thus you blaspheme , and rave : But pray , Sir , try What Comforts my weak Reason can apply , Who never yet read Plutarch , hardly saw , And am but meanly vers'd in Seneca . In cases dangerous and hard of cure We have recourse to Scarborough , or Lower : But if they don't so desperate appear , We trust to meaner Doctors skill , and care . If there were never in the world before So foul a deed ; I 'm dumb , not one word more : A God's name then let both your sluces flow , And all th' extravagance of sorrow show ; And tear your Hair , and thump your mournful Breast , As if your dearest First-born were deceas'd . 'T is granted that a greater Grief attends Departed Moneys than departed Friends : None ever counterfeits upon this score , Nor need he do 't : the thought of being poor Will serve alone to make the eyes run o're . Lost Money 's griev'd with true unfeigned Tears , More true , than Sorrow of expecting Heirs At their dead Father's Funerals , tho here The Back , and Hands no pompous Mourning wear . But if the like Complaints be daily found At Westminster , and in all Courts abound ; If Bonds , and Obligations can't prevail , But men deny their very Hand and Seal , Sign'd with the Arms of the whole Pedigree Of their dead Ancestors to vouch the Lye , If Temple-Walks , and Smithfield never fail Of plying Rogues , that set their Souls to sale To the first Passenger , that bids a price , And make their livelihood of Perjuries ; For God's sake why are you so delicate , And think it hard to share the common Fate ? And why must you alone be Fav'rite thought Of Heav'n , and we sor Reprobates castout ? The wrong you bear , is hardly worth regard , Much less your just resentment , if compar'd With greater out-rages to others done , Which daily happen , and alarm the Town : Compare the Villains who cut Throats for Bread , Or Houses fire , of late a gainful Trade , By which our City was in Ashes laid : Compare the sacrilegious Burglary , From which no place can Sanctuary be , That rifles Churches of Communion-Plate , Which good King Edward's days did dedicate : Think , who durst fteal S. Alban's Font of Brass , That Christen'd half the Royal Scotish Race : Who stole the Chalices at Chichester , In which themselves receiv'd the day before : Or that bold daring hand , of fresh Renown , Who , scorning common Booty , stole a Crown : Compare too , if you please , the horrid Plot , With all the Perjuries to make it out , Or make it nothing , for these last three years ; Add to it Thinne's and Godfrey's Murderers : And if these seem but slight , and trivial things , Add those , that have , and would have murder'd Kings . And yet how little 's this of Villany To what our Judges oft in one day try ? This to convince you , do but travel down , When the next Circuit comes , with Pemberton , Or any of the Twelve , and there but mind , How many Rogues there are of Humane kind , And let me hear you , when you 're back again , Say , you are wrong'd , and , if you dare , complain . None wonder , who in Essex Hundreds live , Or Sheppy Island , to have Agues rife : Nor would you think it much in Africa , If you great Lips , and short flat Noses saw : Because 't is so by Nature of each place ; And therefore there for no strange things they pass . In Lands , where Pigmies are , to see a Crane ( As Kites do Chickens here ) sweep up a Man , In Armour clad , with us would make a show , And serve for entertain at Bartholmew : Yet there it goes for no great Prodigy , Where the whole Nation is but one foot high : Then why , fond Man , should you so much admire , Since Knave is of our Growth , and common here ? But must such Perjury escape ( say you ) And shall it ever thus unpunish'd go ? Grant , he weredragg'd to Jail this very hour , To starve , and rot ; suppose it in your Pow'r To rack , and torture him all kind of ways , To hang , or burn , or kill him , as you please ; ▪ And what would your Revenge it self have more ? ) Yet this , all this would not your Cash restore : And where would be the Comfort , where the Good. 〈◊〉 you could wash your Hands in 's reaking Bloud ? But , Oh , Revenge more sweet than Life ! 'T is true , So the unthinking say , and the mad Crew Of hect'ring Blades , who for slight cause , or none , At every turn are into Passion blown : Whom the least Trifles with Revenge inspire , And at each spark , like Gun-powder , take fire : These unprovok'd kill the next Man they meet , For being so sawcy , as to walk the Street ; And at the summons of each tiny Drab , Cry , Damme ! Satisfaction ! draw , and Stab . Not so of old , the mild good Socrates , ( Who shew'd how high without the help of Grace , Well-cultivated Nature might be wrought ) He a more noble way of suff'ring taught , And , tho he Guiltless drank the poisonous Dose , Ne'er wish'd a drop to his accufing Foes . Not so our great good Martyr'd King of late ( Could we his bless'd Example imitate ) Who , tho the great'st of mortal sufferers . Yet kind to his rebellious Murderers , Forgave , and bless'd them with his dying Pray'rs . Thus , we by sound Divinity , and Sense May purge our minds , and weed all Errors thence : These lead us into right , nor shall we need Other than them through Life to be our Guide . Revenge is but a Frailty , incident To craz'd , and sickly minds , the poor Content Of little Souls , unable to surmount An Injury , too weak to bear Affront : And this you may infer , because we find , 'T is most in poor unthinking Woman-kind , Who wreak their feeble spite on all they can , And are more kin to Brute than brayer Man. But why should you imagine , Sir , that those Escape unpunish'd , who still feel the Throes And Pangs of a rack'd Soul , and ( which is worse Than all the Pains , which can the Body curse ) The secret gnawings of unseen Remorse ? Believe 't , they suffer greater Punishment Than Rome's Inquisitor's could e're invent : Not all the Tortures , Racks , and Cruelties , Which ancient Persecutors could devise , Nor all , that Fox his Bloudy Records tell , Can match what Bradshaws , and Ravilliacs feel , Who in their Breasts carry about their Hell. I 've read this story , but I know nor where , Whether in Hackwel , or Beard 's Theatre : A certain Spartan , whom a Friend , like you , Had trusted with a Hundred pound or two , Went to the Oracle to know if he With safety might the Sum in trust deny . 'T was answer'd , No , that if he durst forswear , He should e're long for 's knavery pay dear : Hence Fear , not Honesty , made him refund ; Yet to his cost the Sentence true he found : Himself , his Children , all his Family , Ev'n the remotest of his whole Pedigree , Perish'd ( as there 't is told ) in misery . Now to apply : if such be the sad end Of Perjury , tho but in Thought design'd , Think , Sir , what Fate awaits your treach'rous Friend , Who has not only thought , but done to you All this , and more ; think , what he suffers now , And think , what every Villain suffers else , That dares , like him , be faithless , base , and false . Pale Horror , ghastly Fear , and black Despair Pursue his steps , and dog him wheresoe're He goes , and if from his loath'd self he fly , To Herd , like wounded Deer , in company , These strait creepin and pale his mirth , and joy . The choicest Dainties , ev'n by Lumly drest , Afford no Relish to his sickly Taste , Insipid all , as Damocles his Feast . Ev'n Wine , the greatest Blessing of Mankind , The best support of the dejected mind , Applied to his dull spirits , warms no more Than to his Corps it could past Life restore . Darkness he fears , nor dares he trust his Bed Without a Candle watching by his side : And , if the wakeful Troubles of his Breast To his toss'd Limbs allow one moments Rest , Straitways the groans of Ghosts , and hideous Screams Of tortur'd Spirits haunt his frightful Dreams : Strait there return to his tormented mind His perjur'd Act , his injur'd God , and Friend : Strait he imagines you before his Eyes , Ghastly of shape , prodigious of size . With glaring Eyes , cleft Foot , and monstrous Tail , And bigger than the Giants at Guild hall , Stalking with horrid strides across the Room , And guards of Fiends to drag him to his Doom : Hereat he falls in dreadful Agonies , And dead cold Sweats his trembling Members seize : Then starting wakes , and with a dismal cry , Calls to his aid his frighted Family ; There owns the Crime , and vows upon his knees The sacred Pledge next morning to release . These are the men , whom the least Terrors daunt , Who at the sight of their own shadows faint ; These , if it chance to Lighten , are agast , And quake for fear , lest every Flash should blast : These swoon away at the first Thunder-clap , As if 't were not , what usually does hap , The casual cracking of a Cloud , but sent By Angry Heaven for their Punishment : And , if unhurt they 'scape the Tempest now , Still dread the greater Vengeance to ensue : These the least Symptoms of a Fever fright , Water high colour'd , want of rest at night , Or a disorder'd Pulse strait makes them shrink , And presently for fear they 're ready sink Into their Graves : their time ( think they ) is come , And Heav'n in judgment now has sent their Doom . Nor dare they , though in whisper , waft a Prayer , Left it by chance should reach th' Almighty's ear , And wake his sleeping Vengeance , which before So long has their impieties forbore . These are the thoughts which guilty Wretches haunt , Yet enter'd , they still grow more impudent : After a Crime perhaps they now and then Feel pangs and strugglings of Remorse within , But straitreturn to their old course agen : They , who have once thrown Shame , and Conscience by , Ne'er after make a stop in Villany : Hurried along , down the vast steep they go , And find , 't is all a Precipice below . Ev'n this perfidious Friend of yours , no doubt Will not with single wickedness give out ; Have patience but a while , you 'l shortly see His hand held up at Bar for Felony : You 'l see the sentenc'd wretch for Punishment To Scilly Isles , or the Caribbes sent ; Or ( if I may his surer Fate divine ) Hung like Boroski , for a Gibbet-Sign : Then may you glut Revenge , and feast your Eyes With the dear object of his Miseries : And then at length convinc'd , with joy you 'l find That the just God is neither deaf , nor blind . DAVID'S LAMENTATION For the DEATH of SAUL and JONATHAN , PARAPHRAS'D . Written in September , 1677. ODE . I. AH wretched Israel ! once a bless'd , and happy State , The Darling of the Stars , and Heavens Care , Then all the bord'ring world thy Vassals were , And thou at once their Envy and their Fear , How soon art thou ( alas ! ) by the sad turn of Fate Become abandon'd and forlorn ? How art thou now become their Pity , and their scorn ? Thy Lustre all is vanish'd , all thy Glory fled , Thy Sun himself set in a bloud red , Too sure Prognostick ! which does ill portend Approaching Storms on thy unhappy Land , Left naked , and defenceless now to each invading Hand . A fatal Battel , lately fought , Has all these Mis'ries , and Misfortunes brought , Has thy quick Ruine , and Destruction wrought : There fell we by a mighty Overthrow A Prey to an enrag'd , relentless Foe , The toil and labour of their wearied Cruelty , Till they no more could kill , and we no longer die : Vast slaughter all around th' enlarged Mountain swells , And numerous Deaths increase its former Hills . II. In Gath let not the mournful News be known , Nor publish'd in the streets of Askalon ; May Fame it self be quite struck dumb ! Oh may it never to Philistia come , Nor any live to bear the cursed Tidings home ! Lest the proud Enemies new Trophies raise , And loudly triumph in our fresh Disgrace : No captive Israelite their pompous Joy adorn , Nor in sad Bondage his lost Country mourn : No Spoils of ours be in their Temples hung , No Hymns to Ashdod's Idol sung , Nor thankful Sacrifice on his glad Altars burn , Kind Heav'n forbid ! lest the base Heathen Slaves blaspheme Thy sacred and unutterable Name , And above thine extol their Dagon's Fame . Lest the vile Fish's Worship spread abroad , Who fell a prostrate Victim once before our conqu'ring God : And you , who the great Deeds of Kings and Kingdoms write , Who all their Actions to succeeding Age transmit , Conceal the blushing Story , ah ! conceal Our Nations loss , and our dread Monarch's fall : Conceal the Journal of this bloudy Day , When both by the ill Play of Fate were thrown away : Nor let our wretched Infamy , and Fortune's Crime Be ever mention'd in the Registers of future Time. III. For ever , Gilboa , be curs'd thy hated Name , Th' eternal Monument of our Disgrace , and shame ! For ever curss'd be that unhappy Scene , Where Slaughter , Bloud , and Death did lately reign ! No Clouds henceforth above thy barren top appear . But what may make thee mourning wear : Let them ne're shake their dewy Fleeces there , But only once a year On the sad Anniverse drop a remembring Tear : No Flocks of Off'rings on thy Hills be known , Which may by Sacrifice our Guilt and thine attone No Sheep , nor any of the gentler kind hereafter stay On thee , but Bears , and Wolves , and Beasts of prey , Or men more savage , wild , and fierce than they ; A Desart may'st thou prove , and lonely wast , Like that , our sinful , stubborn Fathers past , Where they the Penance trod for all , they there transgress'd : Too dearly wast thou drench'd with precious Bloud Of many a Jewish Worthy , spilt of late , Who suffer'd there by an ignoble Fate , And purchas'd foul Dishonour at too high a rate : Great Saul's ran there amongst the common Flood , His Royal self mixt with the baser Crowd : He , whom Heav'ns high and open suffrage chose , The Bulwark of our Nation to oppose The Pow'r and Malice of our Foes ; Ev'n He , on whom the Sacred Oyl was shed , Whose mystick drops enlarg'd his hallow'd Head , Lies now ( oh Fa●…e , impartial still to Kings ! ) Huddled , and undistinguish'd in the heap of meaner Things . IV. Lo ! there the mighty Warriour lies , With all his Lawrels , all his Victories , To rav●…nous Fowls , or worse , to his proud Foes , a Prize : How chang'd from that great Saul ! whose generous A●…d . A conqu'ring Army to distressed Jabesh led , At whose approach Ammon's proud Tyrant fled : How chang'd from that great Saul ! whom we saw bring From vanquish'd Amalek their captive Spoils , and ●…ing : When unbid Pity made him Agag spare ; Ah Pity ! more ●…an Cruelty found guilty there : Oft has he made these conquer'd Enemies bow , By whom himself lies conquer'd now : At Micmash his great Might they felt , and knew , The same they felt at Dammi●… too : Well I remember , when from Helah's Plain He came in triumph , met by a numerous Crowd , Who with glad shouts proclaim'd their Joy aloud ; A dance of beauteous Virgins led the solemn Train , And sung , and prais'd the man that had his thousands slain . Seir , Moab , Zobab felt him , and where e'er He did his glorious Standards bear , Officious Vict'ry follow'd in the rere : Success attended still his brandish'd Sword , And , like the Grave , the gluttonous Blade devour'd : Slaughter upon its point in triumph sate , And scatter'd Death , as quick , and wide as Fare . V. Nor less in high Repute , and Worth was his great Son , Sole Heir of all his Valour , and Renown , Heir too ( if cruel Fate had suffer'd ) of his Throne : The matchless Jonathan 't was , whom loud ▪ tongu'd Fame Amongst her chiefest Heroes joys to name , E're since the wond'rous Deeds of Seneh done , Where he , himself an Host , o'recame a War alone : The trembling Enemies fled , they try'd to fly , But fix'd amazement stopt , and made them die . Great Archer he ! to whom our dreadful skill me owe , Dreaded by all , who Israel's warlike Prowess know ; As many Shafts , as his full Quiver held , So many Fates he drew , so many kill'd : Quick , and unerring they , as darted Eye-beams , flew , As if he gave 'em sight , and swiftness too . Death took her Aim from his , and by 't her Arrows threw . VI. Both excellent they were , both equally alli'd On Nature , and on Valour 's side : Great Saul , who scorn'd a Rival in Renown , Yet envied not the Fame of 's greater Son , By him endur'd to be surpass'd alone : He gallant Prince , did his whole Father shew , And fast , as he could set , the well-writ Copies drew And blush'd , that Duty bid him not out-go : Together they did both the paths to Glory trace , Together hunted in the noble Chace , Together finish'd their united Race : There only did they prove unfortunate , Never till then unbless'd by Fate , Yet there they ceas'd not to be great ; Fearless they met , and brav'd their threaten'd fall , And fought when Heav'n revolted , Fortune durst rebel . When publick safety , and their Countries care Requir'd their Aid , and call'd them to the toils of War ; As Parent-Eagles , summon'd by their Infants cries Whom some rude hands would make a Prize , Haste to Relief , and with their Wings out-fly their eyes ; So swift did they their speedy succour bear , So swift the bold Aggressors seize , So swift attack , so swift pursue the vanquish'd enemies : The vanquish'd enemies with all the wings of Fear Mov'd not so quick as they , Scarce could their souls fly fast enough away . Bolder than Lions , they thick Dangers met , Through Fields with armed Troops , and pointed Harvests set , Nothing could tame their Rage , or quench their Generous Heat : Like those , they march'd undaunted , and like those , Secure of Wounds , and all that durst oppose , So to Resisters fierce , so gentle to their prostrate Foes . VII . Mourn , wretched Israel , mourn thy Monarch's fall , And all thy plenteous stock of sorrow call , T' attend his pompous Funeral : Mourn each , who in this loss an int'rest shares , Lavish your Grief , exhaust it all in Tears : You Hebrew Virgins too , Who once in lofty strains did his glad Triumphs sing , Bring all your Artful Notes , and skilful Measures now , Each charming air of Breath , and string , Bring all to grace the Obsequies of your dead King , And high , as then your Joy , let now your Sorrow flow . Saul , your great Saul is dead , Who you with Natures choicest Dainties fed , Who you with Natures gayest Wardrobe clad , By whom you all her Pride , and all her Pleasures had : For you the precious Worm his Bowels spun , For you the Tyrian Fish did Purple run , For you the bless'd Arabia's Spices grew , And Eastern Quarries harden'd Pearly dew ; The Sun himself turn'd Labourer for you : For you he hatch'd his golden Births alone , Wherewith you were array'ed , whereby you him out-shone . All this and more you did to Saul's great Conduct owe , All this you lost in his unhappy overthrow . VIII . Oh Death ! how vast an Harvest hast thou reap'd of late ! Never before hadst thou so great , Ne'er drunk'st before so deep of Jewish Bloud , Ne're since th' embattled Hosts at Gibeah stood ; When three whole days took up the work of Fate , When a large Tribe enter'd at once thy Bill , Ane threescore thousand Victims to thy Fury fell . Upon the fatal Mountains Head , Lo ! how the mighty Chiefs lie dead : There my beloved Jonathan was slain , The best of Princes , and the best of Men ; Cold Death hangs on his Cheeks like an untimely Frost On early Fruit , there sits , and smiles a sullen Boast , And yet looks pale at the great Captive , she has ta'en . My Jonathan is dead ! ( oh dreadful'st word of Fame ! Oh grief ! that I can speak 't , and not become the same ! ) He 's dead , and with him all our blooming Hopes are gone , And many a wonder , which he must have done , And many a Conquest which he must have won . They 're all to the dark Grave , and Silence sled And never now in story shall be read , And never now shall take their date , Snatch'd hence by the preventing hand of envious Fate . IX . Ah worthy Prince ! would I for thee had died ! Ah , would I had thy fatal place supplied ! I 'd then repaid a Life , which to thy gift I owe , Repaid a Crown , which Friendship taught thee to forgo ; Both Debts , Ine'er can cancel now : Oh , dearer than my Soul ! if I can call it mine , For sure we had the same , 't was very thine , Dearer than Light , or Life , or Fame , Or Crowns , or any thing , that I can wish , or think , or name : Brother thou wast , but wast my Friend before , And that new Title then could add no more : Mine more than Bloud , Alliance , Natures self could make , Than I , or Fame it self can speak : Not yearning Mothers , when first Throes they feel To their young Babes in looks a softer Passion tell : Nor artless undissembling Maids express In their last dying sighs such Tenderness : Not thy fair Sister , whom strict Duty bids me wear First in my Brest , whom holy Vows make mine , Tho all the Virtues of a loyal Wife she bare , Could boast an Union so near , Could boast a Love so firm , so lasting , so Divine . So pure is that which we in Angels find To Mortals here , in Heav'n to their own kind : So pure , but not more great must that blest Friendship prove ( Could , ah , could I to that wish'd Place , and Thee remove ) Which shall for ever joyn our mingled Souls above , X. Ah wretched Israel ! ah unhappy state ! Expos'd to all the Bolts of angry Fate ! Expos'd to all thy Enemies revengeful hate ! Who is there left their fury to withstand ? What Champions now to guard thy helpless Land ? Who is there left in listed Fields to head Thy valiant Youth , and lead them on to Victory ? Alas ! thy valiant Youth are dead , And all thy brave Commanders too : Lo ! how the Glut , and Riot of the Grave they lie , And none survive the fatal Overthrow , To right their injur'd Ghosts upon the barbarous Foe ! Rest , ye bless'd shades , in everlasting Peace , Who fell your Country's bloudy Sacrifice : For ever Sacred be your Memories , And may e're long some dread Avenger rise To wipe of Heav'ns and your Disgrace : May then these proud insulting Foes Wash off our stains of Honour with their Bloud . May they ten thousand-fold repay our loss . For every Life a Myriad , every Drop a Floud . THE ODE OF Aristotle in Athenaeus , PARAPHRAS'D . I. HOnour ! thou greatest Blessing in the gift of Heaven , Which only art to its chief Darlings given : Cheaply with Bloud and Dangers art thou sought , Nor canst at any rate be over-bought . Thou , shining Honour , are the noblest chase Of all the braver part of Humane Race : Thou only art worth living for below , And only worth our dying too . For thee , bright Goddess , for thy charming sake , Does Greece such wond'rous Actions undertake ; For thee no Toils , nor Hardships she forgoes , And Death amidst ten thousand ghastly Terrors wooes . So powerfully dost thou the mind inspire , And kindlest there so generous a fire , As makes thy zealous Votaries All things , but Thee despise ; Makes them the love of Thee prefer Before th' enchantments of bewitching Gold , Before th' embraces of a Parent 's arms , Before soft ease , and Love's enticing Charms , And all , that Men on Earth most valuable hold . II. For Thee the Heav'n born Hercules And Leda's faithful Twins , in Birth no less , So many mighty Labours underwent , And by their God-like Deeds proclaim'd their high Descent . By thee they reach'd the bless'd Abode , Th●… worthy Prize , for which in Glory's path they trode . By thee great Ajax , and the greater Son Of Peleus were exalted to Renown : Envied by the Immortals did they go , Laden with triumph to the shades below . For thee , and thy dear sake Did the young Worthy of Atarna lately stake His Life in Battel to the chance of Fate , And bravely lost , what he so boldly set : Yet lost he not his glorious aim , But by short Death purchas'd eternal Fame : The grateful Muses shall embalm his Memory , And never let it die : They shall his great Exploits rehearse , And consecrate the Hero in immortal Verse . Upon the WORKS of BEN. JOHNSON . Written in 1678. ODE . I. GReat Thou ! whom 't is a Crime almost to dare to praise , Whose firm establish'd , and unshaken Glories stand , And proudly their own Fame command , Above our pow'r to lessen or to raise , And all , but the few Heirs of thy brave Genius , and thy Bays ; Hail mighty Founder of our Stage ! for so I dare Entitle thee , nor any modern Censures fear , Nor care what thy unjust Detractors say ; They 'l say perhaps , that others did Materials bring , That others did the first Foundations lay , And glorious 't was ( we grant ) but to begin , But thou alone couldst finish the design , All the fair Model , and the Workmanship was thine : Some bold Advent'rers might have been before , Who durst the unknown world explore , By them it was survey'd at distant view , And here and there a Cape , and Line they drew , Which only serv'd as hints , and marks to thee , Who wast reserv'd to make the full Discovery : Art's Compass to thy painful search we owe , Whereby thou went'st so far , and we may after go , By that we may Wit 's vast , and trackless Ocean try , Content no longer , as before , Dully to coast along the shore , But steer a course more unconfin'd , and free , Beyond the narrow bounds , that pent Antiquity . II. Never till thee the Theater possess'd A Prince with equal Pow'r , and Greatness bless'd , No Government , or Laws it had To strengthen , and establish it , Till thy great hand the Scepter sway'd , But groan'd under a wretched Anarchy of Wit : Unform'd , and void was then its Poesie , Only some pre-existing Matter we Perhaps could see , That might foretel what was to be ; A rude , and undigested Lump it lay , Like the old Chaos , e're the birth of Light , and Day , Till thy brave Genius like a new Creator came , And undertook the mighty Frame : No shuffled Atoms did the well-built work compose , It from no lucky hit of blund'ring Chance arose ( As some of this great Fabrick idly dream ) But wise , all-seeing Judgment did contrive , And knowing Art its Graces give : No sooner did thy Soul with active Force and Fire The dull and heavy Mass inspire , But strait throughout it let us see Proportion , Order , Harmony , And every part did to the whole agree , And strait appear'd a beauteous new-made world of Poetry . III. Let dull , and ignorant Pretenders Art condemn ( Those only Foes to Art , and Art to them ) The meer Fanaticks , and Enthusiasts in Poetry ( For Schismaticks in that , as in Religion be ) Who make 't all Revelation , Trance , and Dream , Let them despise her Laws , and think That Rules and Forms the Spirit stint : Thine was no mad , unruly Frenzy of the brain , Which justly might deserve the Chain , 'T was brisk , and mettled , but a manag'd Rage , Sprightly as vig'rous Youth , and cool as temp'rate Age : Free , like thy Will , it did all Force disdain , But suffer'd Reason's loose , and easie rein , By that it suffer'd to be led , Which did not curb Poetick liberty , but guide : Fancy , that wild and haggard Faculty , Untam'd in most , and let at random fly , Was wisely govern'd , and reclaim'd by thee , Restraint , and Discipline was made endure , And by thy calm , and milder Judgment brought to lure ; Yet when 't was at some nobler Quarry sent , With bold , and tow'ring wings it upward went , Not lessen'd at the greatest height , Not turn'd by the most giddy flights of dazling Wit. IV. Nature , and Art together met , and joyn'd , Made up the Character of thy great Mind . That like a bright and glorious Sphere , Appear'd with numerous Stars embellish'd o're , And much of Light to thee , and much of Influence bore , This was the strong Intelligence , whose pow'r Turn'd it about , and did th' unerring motions steer : Concurring both like vital Seed , and Heat , The noble Births they joyntly did beget , And hard 't was to be thought , Which most of force to the great Generation brought : So mingling Elements compose our Bodies frame , Fire , Water , Earth , and Air Alike their just Proportions share , Each undistinguish'd still remains the same , Yet can't we say that either's here , or there , But all , we know not how , are scatter'd every where . V. Sober , and grave was still the Garb thy Muse put on , No tawdry careless slattern Dress , Nor starch'd , and formal with Affectedness , Nor the cast Mode , and Fashion of the Court , and Town ; But neat agreeable , and janty 't was , Well-fitted , it sate close in every place , And all became with an uncommon Air , and Grace : Rich , costly and substantial was the stuff , Not barely smooth , nor yet too coarsly rough : No refuse , ill-patch'd Shreds o' th' Schools , The motly wear of read , and learned Fools , No French Commodity which now so much does take , And our own better Manufacture spoil , Nor was it ought of forein Soil ; But Staple all , and all of English Growth , and Make : What Flow'rs soe're of Art it had , were found No tinsel'd slight Embroideries . But all appear'd either the native Ground , Or twisted , wrought , and interwoven with the Piece . VI. Plain Humour , shewn with her whole various Face , Not mask'd with any antick Dress , Nor screw'd in forc'd , ridiculous Grimace ( The gaping Rabbles dull delight , And more the Actor's than the Poet's Wit ) Such did she enter on thy Stage , And such was represented to the wond'ring Age : Well wast thou skill'd , and read in humane kind , In every wild fantastick Passion of his mind , Didst into all his hidden Inclinations dive , What each from Nature does receive , Or Age , or Sex , or Quality , or Country give ; What Custom too , that mighty Sorceress , Whose pow'rful Witchcraft does transform Enchanted Man to several monstrous Images , Makes this an odd , and freakish Monky turn , And that a grave and solemn Ass Appear , And all a thousand beastly shapes of Folly wear : Whate're Caprice or Whimsie leads awry Perverted , and seduc'd Mortality , Or does incline , and byass it From what 's Discreet , and Wise , and Right , and Good , and Fit ; All in thy faithful Glass were so express'd , As if they were Reflections of thy Breast , As if they had been stamp'd on thy own mind , And thou the universal vast Idea of Mankind . VII . Never didst thou with the same Dish repeated cloy . Tho every Dish , well cook'd by thee , Contain'd a plentiful Variety To all that could sound relishing Palates be , Each Regale with new Delicacies did invite , Courted the Taste , and rais'd the Appetite : Whate're fresh dainty Fops in season were To garnish , and set out thy Bill of fare ( Those never found to fail throughout the year , For seldom that ill-natur'd Planet rules , That plagues a Poet with a dearth of Fools ) What thy strict Observation e're survey'd , From the fine , luscious Spark of high , and courtly Breed . Down to the dull , insipid Cit , Made thy pleas'd Audience entertainment fit , Serv'd up with all the grateful Poignances of Wit. VIII . Most Plays are writ like Almanacks of late , And serve one only year , one only State ; Another makes them useless , stale , and out of date ; But thine were wisely calcu●…ed ●…it For each Meridian , every 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , For all succeeding time , and after-age , And all Mankind might thy vast Audience sit , And the whole world be justly made thy Stage : Still they shall taking be , and ever new , Still kept in vogue in spite of all the damning Crew ; Till the last Scene of this great Theatre , Clos'd , and shut down , The numerous Actors all retire , And the grand Play of humane Life be done . IX . Beshrew those envious Tongues , who seek to blast thy Bays , Who Spots in thy bright Fame would find , or raise , And say , it only shines with borrow'd Rays ; Rich in thy self , to whose unbounded store Exhausted Nature could vouchsafe no more , Thou could'st alone the Empire of the Stage maintain , Could'st all its Grandeur , and its Port sustain , Nor neededst others Subsidies to pay , Neededst no Tax on forein , or thy native Country lay , To bear the charges of thy purchas'd Fame , But thy own Stock could raise the same , Thy sole Revenue all the vast Expence defray , Yet like some mighty Conquerour in Poetry , Design'd by Fate of choice to be Founder of its new universal Monarchy , Boldly thou didst the learned World invade , Whilst all around thy pow'rful Genius sway'd , Soon vanquish'd Rome , and Greece were made submit , Both were thy humble Tributaries made , And thou return'dst in Triumph with their captive Wit. X. Unjust , and more ill-natur'd those , Thy spiteful , and malicious Fo●… , Who on thy happiest Talent fix ●…lye , And call that Slowness , which w●…●…are , and Industry . Let me ( with Pride so to be guilty thought ) Share all thy wish'd Reproach , and share th shame , If Diligence be deem'd a fault , If to be faultless must deserve their Blame : Judg of thy self alone ( for none there were , Could be so just , or could be so severe ) Thou thy own Works didst strictly try By known and uncontested Rules of Poetry , And gav'st thy Sentence still impartially : With rigour thou arraign'dst each guilty Line , And spar'dst no criminal Sense , because 't was thine : Unbrib'd with Favour , Love , or Self-conceit , ( For never , or too seldom we , Objects too near us , our own Blemishes can see ) Thou didst no small'st Delinquencies acquit , But saw'st them to Correction all submit , Saw'st execution done on all convicted Crimes of Wit. XI . Some curious Painter , taught by Art to dare ( For they with Poets in that Title share ) When he would undertake a glorious Frame Of lasting Worth , and fadeless as his Fame ; Long he contrives , and weighs the bold Design , Long holds his doubting hand ere he begin , And justly then proportions every stroke , and line , And oft he brings it to review . And oft he does deface , and dashes oft anew , And mixes Oils to make the flitting Colours dure , To keep 'em from the tarnish of injurious Time secure ; Finish'd at length in all that Care , and Skill can do The matchless Piece is set to publick View , And all surpriz'd about it wond'ring stand , And tho no name be found below , Yet strait discernth ' unimitable hand , And strait they cry 't is Titian , or 't is Angelo : So thy brave Soul , that scorn'd all cheap , and easie ways , And trod no common road to Praise , Would not with rash , and speedy Negligence proceed , ( For who e're saw Perfection grow in haste ? Or that soon done , which must for ever last ? ) But gently did advance with wary heed , And shew'd that mastery is most in justness read : Nought ever issued from thy teeming Breast , But what had gone full time , could write exactly best , And stand the sharpest Censure , and def●…e the rigid'st Test. XII . 'T was thus th' Almighty Poet ( if we dare Our weak , and meaner Acts with his compare ) When he the Worlds fair Poem did of old design , That Work , which now must boast no longer date than thine ; Tho 't was in him alike to will , and do , Tho the same Word that spoke , could make it too , Yet would he not such quick , and hasty methods use , Nor did an instant ( which it might ) the great effect produce , But when th' All-wise himself in Council sate , Vouchsaf'd to think and be deliberate , When Heaven consider'd , and th' Eternal Wit , and sense , Seem'd to take time , and care , and pains , It shew'd that some uncommon Birth , That something worthy of a God was coming forth ; Nought uncorrect there was , nought faulty there , No point amiss did in the large voluminous Piece appear , And when the glorious Author all survey'd , Survey'd whate're his mighty Labours made , Well-pleas'd he was to find All answer'd the great Model , and Idea of his Mind Pleas'd at himself He in high wonder stood , And much his Power , and much his Wisdom did applaud , To see how all was perfect , all transcendent Good. XIII . Let meaner spirits stoop to low precarious Fame , Content on gross and coarse Applause to live , And what the dull , and sensless Rabble give , Thou didst it still with noble scorn contemn , Nor would'st that wretched Alms receive , The poor subsistence of some bankrupt , sordid name : Thine was no empty Vapour , rais'd beneath , And form'd of common Breath , The false , and foolish Fire , that 's whisk'd about By popular Air , and glares a while , and then goes out ; But 't was a solid , whole , and perfect Globe of light , That shone all over , was all over bright , And dar'd all sullying Clouds , and fear'd no darkning night ; Like the gay Monarch of the Stars and Sky , Who wheresoe're he does display His sovereign Lustre , and majestick Ray , Strait all the less , and petty Glories nigh Vanish , and shrink away . O'rewhelm'd , and swallow'd by the greater blaze of Day ; With such a strong , an awful and victorious Beam Appear'd , and ever shall appear , thy Fame , View'd , and ador'd by all th' undoubted Race of Wit , Who only can endure to look on it . The rest o'recome with too much light , With too much brightness dazled , or extinguish'd quite : Restless , and uncontroul'd it now shall pass As wide a course about the World as he , And when his long-repeated Travels cease Begin a new , and vaster Race , And still tread round the endless Circle of Eternity . THE NINTH ODE Of the Third Book of HORACE , IMITATED . A Dialogue betwixt the Poet and Lydia . Donec Gratus eram tibi , &c. I. Hor. WHile you for me alone had Charms , And none more welcome fill'd your Arms , Proud with content , I slighted Crowns , And pitied Monarchs on their Thrones . II. Lyd. While you thought Lydia only fair , And lov'd no other Nymph but her , Lydia was happier in your Love , Than the bless'd Virgins are above . III. Hor. Now Chloes charming Voice , and Art Have gain'd the conquest of my Heart : For whom , ye Fates , I 'd wish to die , If mine the Nymphs dear Life might buy . IV. Lyd. Thyrsis by me has done the same , The Yough burns me with mutual Flame : For whom a double Death I 'd bear ; Would Fate my dearest Thyrsis spare . V. Hor. But say , fair Nymph , if I once more Become your Captive as before ? Say , I throw off my Chloes chain , And take you to my Breast again ? VI. Lyd. Why then , tho he more bright appear , More constant than a fixed Star ; Tho you than Wind more fickle be , And rougher than the stormy Sea. By Heav'n , and all its Pow'rs I vow I 'd gladly live , and die with you . UPON A LADY , Who by overturning of a Coach , had her Coats behind flung up , and what was under shewn to the View of the Company . Out of Voiture . I. PHillis , 't is own'd , I am your Slave , This happy moment dates your Reign ; No force of Humane Pow'r can save My captive Heart , that wears your chain : But when my Conquest you design'd ; Pardon , bright Nymph , if I declare , It was unjust , and too severe , Thus to attack me from behind . II. Against the Charms , your Eyes impart , With care I had secur'd my Heart ; On all the wonders of your Face Could safely , and unwounded gaze : But now entirely to enthral My Breast , you have expos'd to view Another more resistless Foe , From which I had no guard at all . III. At first assault constrain'd to yield , My vanquish'd Heart resign'd the Field , My Freedom to the Conquerour Became a prey that very hour : The subtle Traitor , who unspied Had lurk'd till now in close disguise , Lay all his life in ambush hid At last to kill me by surprize . IV. A sudden Heat my Breast inspir'd , The piercing Flame , like Light'ning , sent From that new dawning Firmament Through every Vein my Spirits fir'd ; My Heart , before averse to Love , No longer could a Rebel prove ; When on the Grass you did display Your radiant B●…M to my survey , And sham'd the Lustre of the Day . V. The Sun in Heav'n , abash'd to see A thing more gay , more bright than He , Struck with disgrace , as well he might , Thought to drive back the Steeds of Light : His Beams he now thought useless grown , That better were by yours supplied , But having once seen your Back side , For shame he durst not shew his own . VI. Forsaking every Wood , and Grove , The Sylvans ravish'd at the sight , In pressing Crowds about you strove , Gazing , and lost in wonder quite : Fond Zephyr seeing your rich store Of Beauty , undescried before , Enamour'd of each lovely Grace , Before his own dear Flora's face , Could not forbear to kiss the place . VII . The beauteous Queen of Flow'rs , the Rose , In blushes did her shame disclose : Pale Lillies droop'd , and hung their heads , And shrunk for fear into their Beds : The amorous Narcissus too , Reclaim'd of fond self-love by you , His former vain desire cashier'd , And your fair Breech alone admir'd . VIII . When this bright Object greets our sight , All others lose their Lustre quite : Your Eyes that shoot such pointed Rays , And all the Beauties of your Race , Like dwindling Stars , that fly away At the approach of brighter Day , No more regard , or value bear , But when its Glories disappear . IX . Of some ill Qualities they tell , Which justly give me cause to fear ; But that , which most begets despair , It has no sense of Love at all : More hard than Adamant it is , They say , that no Impression takes , It has no Ears , nor any Eyes , And rarely , very rarely speaks . X. Yet I must love't , and own my Flame , Which to the world I thus rehearse , Throughout the spacious coasts of Fame To stand recorded in my Verse : No other subject , or design Henceforth shall be my Muses Theme , But with just Praises to proclaim The fairest ARSE , that e're was seen . XI . In pity gentle Phillis hide The dazling Beams of your Back side ; For should they shine unclouded long . All humane kind would be undone . Not the bright Goddesses on high , That reign above the starry Sky , Should they turn up to open view All their immortal Tails , can shew An Arse-h — so divine as you . CATULLUS EPIGR. VII . IMITATED . Quaeris quot mihi basiationes , &c. NAY , Lesbia , never ask me this , How many Kisses will suffice ? Faith , 't is a question hard to tell , Exceeding hard ; for you as well Ma●… ask what sums of Gold suffice The greedy Miser's boundless Wish : Think what drops the Ocean store , With all the Sands , that make its Shore : Think what Spangles deck the Skies , When Heaven looks with all its Eyes : Or think how many Atoms came To compose this mighty Frame : Let all these the Counters be , To tell how ost I 'm kiss'd by thee : Till no malicious Spy ca●… guess To what vast height the Scores arise ; Till weak Arithmetick grow scant , And numbers for the reck'ning want : All these will hardly be enough For me stark staring mad with Love. SOME ELEGIES OUT OF OVID'S Amours , IMITATED . BOOK II. ELEGY IV. That he loves Women of all sorts and sizes . Non ego mendosos ausim defendere mores , &c. NOt I , I never vainly durst pretend My Follies , and my Frailties to defend : I own my Faults , if it avail to own , While like a graceless Wretch I still go on : I hate my self , but yet in spite of Fate Am fain to be that loathed thing I hate : In vain I would shake off this load of Love , Too hard to bear , yet harder to remove : I want the strength my fierce Desires to stem , Hurried away by the impetuous stream . 'T is not one Face alone subdues my Heart , But each wears Charms , and every Eye a Dart : And wheresoe're I cast my Looks abroad , In every place I find Temptations strow'd , The modest kills me with her down cast Eyes , And Love his ambush lays in that disguise . The Brisk allures me with her gaity , And shews how Active she in Bed will be : If Coy , like cloyster'd Virgins , she appears , She but dissembles , what she most desires : If she be vers'd in Arts , and deeply read , I long to get a Learned Maidenhead : Or if Untaught , and Ignorant she be , She takes me then with her simplicity : One likes my Verses , and commends each Line , And swears that Cowley's are but dull to mine : Her in mere Gratitude I must approve , For who , but would his kind Applauder love ? Another damns my Poetry , and me , And plays the Critick most judiciously : And she too fires my Heart , and she too charms , And I 'm agog to have her in my arms . One with her soft and wanton Trip does please , And prints in every step , she sets , a Grace : Another walks with stiff ungainly tread ; But she may learn more pliantness abed , This sweetly sings ; her Voice does Love inspire , And every Breath kindles , and blows the fire : Who can forbear to kiss those Lips , whose sound The ravish'd Ears does with such softness wound ? That sweetly plays : and while her Fingers move , While o're the bounding Strings their touches ▪ rove , My Heart leaps too , and every Pulse beats Love : What Reason is so pow'rful to withstand The Magick force of that resistless Hand ? Another Dances to a Miracle , And moves her numerous Limbs with graceful skill : And she , or else the Devil 's in 't , must charm , A touch of her would bed rid Hermits warm . If tall ; I guess what plenteous Game she 'l yield , Where Pleasure ranges o're so wide a Field : If low ; she 's pretty : both alike invite , The Dwarf , and Giant both my wishes fit , Undress'd ; I think how killing she 'd appear , If arm'd with all Advantages she were : Richly attir'd ; she 's the gay Bait of Love , And knows with Art to set her Beauties off . I like the Fair , I like the Red hair'd one , And I can find attractions in the Brown : If curling Jet adorn her snowy Neck , The beauteous Leda is reported Black : If curling Gold ; Aurora's painted so : All sorts of Histories my Love does know . I like the Young with all her blooming Charms , And Age it self is welcome to my Arms : There uncropt Beauty in its flow'r assails , Experience here , and riper sense prevails . In fine , whatever of the Sex are known To stock this spacious and well furnish'd Town ; Whatever any single man can find Agreeable of all the num'rous kind : At all alike my haggard Love does fly , And each is Game , and each a Miss for me . BOOK II. ELEGY V. To his Mistris that jilted him . Nullus amor tanti est : abeas pharetrate Cupido , &c. NAY then the Devil take all Love ! if I So oft for its damn'd sake must wish to die : What can I wish for but to die , when you . Dear faithless Thing , I find , could prove untrue ? Why am I curs'd with Life ? why am I fain For thee , false Jilt , to bear eternal Pain ? 'T is not thy Letters , which thy Crimes reveal , Nor secret Presents , which , thy Falshood tell : Would God! my just suspicions wanted cause , That they might prove less fatal to my ease : Would God! less colour for thy guilt there were , But that ( alas ! ) too much of proof does bear : Bless'd he , who what he loves can justifie , To whom his Mistris can the Fact deny , And boldly give his Jealousie the lye , Cruel the Man , and uncompassionate , And too indulgent to his own Regret , Who seeks to have her guilt too manifest , And with the murd'ring secret stabs his Rest. I saw , when little you suspected me , When sleep , you thought , gave opportunity , Your Crimes I saw , and these unhappy eyes Of all your hidden stealths were Witnesses : I saw in signs your mutual Wishes read , And Nods the message of your Hearts convey'd : I saw the conscious Board , which writ all o're With scrawls of Wine , Love's mystick Cypher bore : Your Glances were not mute , but each bewray'd , And with your Fingers Dialogues were made : I understood the Language out of hand , ( For what 's too hard for Love to understand ? ) Full well I understood for what intent All this dumb Talk , and silent Hints were meant : And now the Ghests were from the Table fled , And all the Company retir'd to bed . I saw you then with wanton Kisses greet , Your Tongues ( I saw ) did in your Kisses meet : Not such as Sisters to their Brothers give , But Lovers from their Mistrisses receive : Such as the God of War , and Paphian Queen Did in the height of their Embraces joyn . Patience , ye Gods ! ( I cried ) what is 't I see ? Unfaithful ! why this Treachery to me ? How dare you let another in my sight Invade my native Property , and Right ? He must not , shall not do 't : by Love I swear I 'll seize the bold usurping Ravisher : T●… are my Free hold , and the Fates design , That you should be unalienably mine : These Favours all to me impropriate are : How comes another then to trespass here ? This , and much more I said , by Rage inspir'd , While conscious shame her Cheeks with Blushes fir'd : Such lovely stains the face of Heav'n adorn , When Light 's first blushes paint the bashful Morn : So on the Bush the flaming Rose does glow , When mingled with the Lillies neighb'ring Snow : This , or some other Colour much like these , The semblance then of here Complexion was : And while her Looks that sweet Disorder wore Chance added Beauties undisclos'd before : Upon the ground she cast her jetty Eyes , Her Eyes shot fiercer Darts in that Disgulse : Her Face a sad and mournful Air express'd , Her Face more lovely seem'd in sadness dress'd : Urg'd by Revenge , I hardly could forbear , Her braided Locks , and tender Cheeks to tear : Yet I no sooner had her Face survey'd , But strait the tempest of my Rage was laid : A look of her did my Resentments charm , A look of her did all their Force disarm : And I , that fierce outrageous thing e're-while , Grow calm as Infants , when in sleep they smile : And now a Kiss am humbly fain to crave , She smil'd , and strait a throng of Kisses prest , The worst of which , should Jove himself but taste , The brandish'd Thunder from his Hand would wrest : Well-pleas'd I was , and yet tormented too , For fear my envied Rival felt them so : Better they seem'd by far than I ere taught , And she in them shew'd something new methought : Fond jealous I my self the Pleasure grutch , And they displeas'd , because they pleas'd too much : When in my mouth I felt her darting Tongue , My wounded Thoughts it with suspicion stung : Nor is it this alone afflicts my mind , More reason for complaint remains behind : I grieve not only that she Kisses gave , Tho that affords me cause enough to grieve : Such never could be taught her but in Bed , And Heav'n knows what Reward her Teacher had . BOOK II. ELEGY X. To a Friend , Acquainting him , that he is in Love with two at one time . Tu mihi , tu certè ( memini ) Graecine , negabas , &c. I 'VE heard , my Friend , and heard it said by you , No man at once could ever well love two : But I was much deceiv'd upon that score , For single I at once love one , and more : Two at one time reign joyntly in my Breast , Both handsom are , both charming , both well-dress'd , And hang me , if I know , which takes me best : This Fairer is thao that , and that than this , That more than this : and this than that does please : Tost , like a Ship , by diffrent gusts of Love , Now to this Point , and now to that I move . Why , Love , why dost thou double thus my pains ? Was 't not enough to bear one Tyrant's chains ? Why , Goddess , do'st thou vainly lavish more On one , that was top-full of Love before ? Yet thus I 'd rather love , than not at all , May that ill Curse my Enemies befal : May my worst Foe be damn'd to love of none , Be damn'd to Continence , and lie alone : Let Loves alarms each night disturb my Rest , And drowsie sleep never approach my Breast , Or strait-way thence be by new Pleasure chas'd . Let Pleasure in succession keep my Sense Ever awake , or ever in a Trance : Let me lie melting in my fair One's Arms , Riot in Bliss , and surfeit on her Charms : Let her undo me there without controul , Drain nature quite , suck out my very Soul : And , if by one I can't enough be drawn , Give me another , clap more Leeches on . The Gods have made me of the sporting kind , And for the Feat my Pliant Limbs design'd : What Nature has in Bulk to me denied , In Sinews , and in vigour is supplied : And should my Strength be wanting to Desire , Pleasure would add new Fewel to the Fire : Oft in soft Battels have I spent the Night , Yet rose next Morning vig'rous for the Fight , Fresh as the Day , and active as the Light : No Maid , that ever under me took pay , From my Embrace went unoblig'd away . Bless'd he , who in Loves service yields his Breath , Grant me , ye Gods , so sweet , to wish'd a Death ! In bloudy Fields let Souldiers meet their Fate , To purchase dear bought Honour at the rate : Let greedy Merchants trust the faithless Main , And shipwrack Life and Soul for sordid gain : Dying , let me expire in gasps of Lust , And in a gush of Joy give up the Ghost : And some kind pitying Friend shall say of me , So did he live , and so deserv'd to die . A FRAGMENT of PETRONIUS , PARAPHRAS'D . Foeda est in coitu , & brevis voluptas , &c. I Hate Fruition , now 't is past , 'T is all but nastiness at best ; The homeliest thing , that man can do , Besides , 't is short , and fleeting too : A squirt of slippery Delight , That with a moment takes its flight : A fulsom Bliss , that soon does cloy , And makes us loath what we enjoy . Then let us not too eager run , By Passion blindly hurried on , Like Beasts , who nothing better know , Than what meer Lust 〈◊〉 them to : For when in Flouds of Love we 're dronch'd , The Flames are by enjoyment quench'd : But thus , let 's thus together lie , And kiss out long Eternity : Here we dread no conscious Spies , No blushes stain our guiltless Joys : Here no Faintness dulls Desires , And Pleasure never flags , nor tires : This has pleas'd , and pleases now , And for Ages will do so : Enjoyment here is never done , But fresh , and always but begun . AN ODE OF ANACREON , PARAPHRAS'D . The CUP . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , &c. MAke me a Bowl , a mighty Bowl , Large , as my capacious Soul , Vast , as my thirst is ; let it have Depth enough to be my Grave ; I mean the Grave of all my Care , For I intend to bury't there , Let it of Silver fashion'd be , Worthy of Wine , worthy of me , Worthy to adorn the Spheres , As that bright Cup amongst the Stars : That Cup which Heaven deign'd a place : Next the Sun its greatest Grace . Kind Cup ! that to the Stars did go , To light poor Drunkards her below : Let mine be so , and give me light , That I may drink , and revel by 't : Yet draw no shapes of Armour there , No Cask , nor Shield , nor Sword , nor Spear , Nor Wars of Thebes , nor Wars of Troy , Nor any other martial Toy : For what do I vain Armour prize , Who mind not such rough Exercise , But gentler Sieges , softer Wars , Fights , that cause no Wounds , or Scars ? ) I 'll have no Battels on my Plate , Lest sight of them should Brawls create , Lest that provoke to Quarrels too , Which Wine it self enough can do . Draw me no Constellations there , No Ram , nor Bull , nor Dog , nor Bear , Nor any of that monstrous fry Of Animals , which stock the sky : For what are Stars to my Design , Stars , which I , when drunk , out-shine , Out-shone by every drop of Wine ? I lack no Pole-Star on the Brink , To guide in the wide Sea of Drink , But would for ever there be tost ; And wish no Haven , seek no Coast. Yet , Gentle Artist , if thou 'lt try Thy Skill , then draw me ( let me see ) Draw me first a spreading Vine , Make its Arms the Bowl entwine , With kind embraces , such as I Twist about my loving she . Let its Boughs o're-spread above Scenes of Drinking , Scenes of Love : Draw next the Patron of that Tree , Draw Bacchus and sost Cupid by ; Draw them both in toping Shapes , Their Temples crown'd with cluster'd Grapes : Make them lean against the Cup , As 't were to keep their Figures up : And when their reeling Forms I view , I 'll think them drunk , and be so too : The Gods shall my examples be , The Gods , thus drunk in Effigy . An Allusion to MARTIAL . BOOK I. EPIG . 118. AS oft , Sir Tradewel , as we meet , You 're sure to ask me in the street , When you shall send your Boy to me , To fetch my Book of Poetry , And promise you 'l but read it o're , And faithfully the Loan restore : But let me ye as a Friend , You need not take the pains to send : 'T is a long way to where I dwell , At farther end of Clarkenwel : There in a Garret near the Sky , Above five pair of Stairs I lie . But , if you 'd have , what you pretend , You may procure it nearer hand : In Cornhil , where you often go , Hard by th' Exchange , there is , you know , A Shop of Rhime , where you may see The Posts all clad in Poetry ; There H — lives of high renown , The noted'st TORY in the Town : Where , if you please , enquire for me , And he , or 's Prentice , presently From the next Shelf will reach you down The Piece well bound for half a Crown : The Price is much too dear , you cry , To give for both the Book , and me : Yes doubtless , for such vanities , We know , Sir , you are too too wise . THE DREAM . Written , March 10. 1677. LAte as I on my Bed reposing lay , And in soft sleep forgot the Toils of Day , My self , my Cares , and Love , all charm'd to Rest , And all the Tumults of my waking Breast , Quiet and calm , as was the silent Night , Whose stillness did to that bless'd sleep invite ; I dreamt , and strait this visionary Scene Did with Delight my Fancy entertain . I saw , methought , a lonely Privacy , Remote alike from man's , and Heavens Eye , Girt with the covert of a shady Grove , Dark as my thoughts , and secret as my Love : Hard by a Stream did with that softness creep , As 't were by its own murmurs husht asleep ; On its green Bank under a spreading Tree , At once a pleasant , and a shelt'ring Canopy , There I , and there my dear Cosmelia sate , Nor envied Monarchs in our safe Retreat : So heretofore were the first Lovers laid On the same Turf of which themselves were made . A while I did her charming Glories view , Which to their former Conquests added new ; A while my wanton hand was pleas'd to rove Through all the hidden Labyrinths of Love ; Ten thousand Kisses on her Lips I fix'd , Which she with interfering Kisses mix'd , Eager as those of Lovers are in Death , When they give up their Souls too with the Breath . Love by these Freedoms first became more bold , At length unruly , and too fierce to hold : See then ( said I ) and pity , charming Fair , Yield quickly , yield ; I can no longer bear Th' impatient Sallies of a Bliss so near : Tou must , and you alone these storms appease , And lay those Spirits which your Charms could raise ; Come , and in equal Flouds let 's quench our Flame , Come let 's — and unawares I went to name The Thing , but stopt and blusht methought in Dream . At first she did the rude Address disown , And check'd my Boldness with an angry Frown , But yielding Glances , and consenting Eyes Prov'd the soft Traitors to her forc'd Disguise ; And soon her looks , with anger rough e're while , Sunk in the dimples of a calmer smile : Then with a sigh into these words she broke , And printed melting Kisses as she spoke : Too strong , Philander , is thy pow'rful Art To take a feeble Maids ill-guarded Heart : Too long I 've struggled with my Bliss in vain , Too long oppos'd what Ioft wish'd to gain , Loath to consent , yet loather to deny , At once I court , and shun Felicity : I cannot , will not yield ; — and yet I must , Lest to my own Desires I prove unjust : Sweet Ravisher ! what Love commands thee , do ; Tho I 'm displeas'd , I shall forgive thee too , Too well thou know'st — and there my hand she press'd , And said no more , but blush'd and smil'd the rest Ravish'd at the new grant , fierce eager I Leap'd furious on , and seiz'd my trembling Prey ; With guarding Arms she first my Force repell'd , Shrunk , and drew back , and would not seem to yield ; Unwilling to o'recome , she faintly strove , One hand pull'd to , what t'other did remove : So feeble are the struglings , and so weak In sleep we seem , and only seem to make : Forbear ! ( she said ) ah , gentle Youth , forbear , ( and still she hug'd , and clasp'd me still more near ) Ah! will you ? will you force my Rui●… so ? Ah? do not , do not , do not ; — let me go . What follow'd was above the pow'r of Verse , Above the reach of Fancy to rehearse : Not dying Saints enjoy such Extasies , When they in Vision antedate their Bliss ; Not Dreams of a young Prophet are so bless'd , When holy Trances first inspire his Breast , And the God enters there to be a Guest . Let duller Mortals other Pleasures prize , Pleasures which enter at the waking Eyes , Might I each Night such sweet Enjoyments find , I 'd wink for ever , be for ever blind . A SATYR TOUCHING NOBILITY . Out of Monsieur BOILEAU . 'T IS granted , that Nobility in Man , Is no wild flutt'ring Notion of the Brain , Where he , descended of an ancient Race , Which a long train of numerous Worthies grace , By Virtues Rules guiding his steddy Course , Traces the steps of his bright Ancestors . But Yet I can't endure an haughty Ass , Debauch'd with Luxury and slothful Ease . Who besides empty Titles of high Birth , Has no pretence to any thing of Worth , Should proudly wear the Fame , which others sought , And boast of Honour which himself ne'er got . I grant , the Acts which his Fore-fathers did Have furnish'd matter for old Hollinshead , For which their Scutcheon , by the Conqu'ror grac'd Still bears a Lion Rampant for its Crest : But what does this vain mass of Glory boot To be the branch of such a noble Root , If he of all the Heroes of his Line Which in the Registers of Story shine , Can offer nothing to the World's regard , But mouldy Parchments which the Worms have spar'd ? If sprung , as he pretends , of noble Race , He does his own Original disgrace , And , swoln with selfish Vanity and Pride , To greatness has no other claim beside , But squanders life , and sleeps away his days , Dissolv'd in Sloth , and steep'd in sensual ease : Mean while to see how much the Arrogant Boasts the false Lustre of his high Descent , You 'd fancy him Comptroller of the Sky , And fram'd by Heav'n of other Clay than me . Tell me , great Hero , you , that would be thought So much above the mean , and humble Rout. Of all the Creatures which do men esteem ? And which would you your self the noblest deem ? Put case of Horse : No doubt , you 'l answer strait , The Racer , which has often'st won the Plate : Who full of mettle , and of sprightly Fire , Is never distanc'd in the sleet Career : Him all the Rivals of New-market dread , And crowds of Vent'rers stake upon his Head : But if the Breed of Dragon , often cast , Degenerate , and prove a Jade at last ; Nothing of Honour , or respect ( we see ) Is had of his high Birth , and Pedigree : But maugre all his great Progenitors . The worthless Brute is banish'd from the Course , Condemn'd for Life to ply the dirty Road , To drag some Cart , or bear some Carrier's Load . Then how can you with any sense expect That I should be so silly to respect The ghost of Honour , perish'd long ago , That 's quite extinct , and lives no more in you ? Such gaudy Trifles with the Fools may pass , Caught with mere shew , and vain Appearances : Virtue 's the certain Mark , by Heav'n design'd , That 's always stamp'd upon a noble mind : If you from such illustrious Worthies came , By copying them your high Extract proclaim : Shew us those generous Heats of Gallantry , Which Ages past did in those Worthies see , That zeal for Honour , and that brave Disdain , Which scorn'd to do an Action base , or mean : Do you apply your Interest aright , Not to oppress the Poor with wrongful Might ? Would you make Conscience to pervert the Laws , Tho brib'd to do 't , or urg'd by your own Cause ? Dare you , when justly call'd , expend your Bloud In service for your King's and Countrys good ? Can you in open Field in Armour sleep , And there meet danger in the ghastliest shape ? By such illustrious Marks as these , I find , You 're truly issued of a noble kind : Then fetch your Line from Albanact , or Knute , Or , if these are too fresh , from older Brute : At leisure search all History to find Some great and glorious Warriour to your mind : Take Caesar , Alexander , which you please , To be the mighty Founder of your Race ; In vain the World your Parentage bely , That was , or should have been your Pedegree . But , if you could with ease derive your Kin From Hercules himself in a right Line ; If yet there nothing in your Actions be , Worthy the name of your high Progeny ; All these great Ancestors , which you disgrace , Against you are a cloud of Witnesses : And all the Lustre of their tarnish'd Fame Serves but to light , and manifest your Shame : In vain you urge the merit of your Race , And boast that Bloud , which you your selves debase . In vain you borrow , to adorn your Name , The Spoils , and Plunder of another's Fame ; If , where I look'd for something Great , and Brave , I meet with nothing but a Fool , or Knave , A Traitor , Villain , Sycophant , or Slave , A freakish Madman , fit to be confin'd , Whom Bedlam only can to order bind , Or ( to speak all at once ) a barren Limb , And rotten Branch of an illustrious Stem . But I am too severe , perhaps you 'l think , And mix too much of Satyr with my Ink : We speak to men of Birth , and Honour here , And those nice Subjects must be touch'd with care : Cry mercy , Sirs ! Your Race , we grant , is known ; But how far backwards can you trace it down ? You answer : For at least a thousand year , And some odd hundreds you can make 't appear : 'T is much : But yet in short the proofs are clear : All Books with your Fore-fathers Titles shine , Whose names have scap'd the general wreck of Time : But who is there so bold , that dares engage His Honour , that in this long Tract of Age No one of all his Ancestors deceas'd Had e're the fate to find a Bride unchast ? That they have all along Lucretia's been , And nothing e're of spurious Bloud crept in , To mingle and defile the Sacred Line ? Curss'd be the day , when first this vanity Did primitive simplicity destroy , In the bless'd state of infant time , unknown , When Glory sprung from Innocence alone ▪ Each from his merit only Title drew , And that alone made Kings , and Nobles too : Then , scorning borrow'd Helps to prop his Name , The Hero from himself deriv'd his Fame : But Merit by degenerate time at last , Saw Vice ennobled , and her self debas'd : And haughty Pride false pompous Titles feign'd , T' amuse the World , and Lord it o're Mankind : Thence the vast Herd of Earls and Barons came , For Virtue each brought nothing but a Name : Soon aster Man , fruitful in Vanities , Did Blazoning and Armory devise , Founded a College for the Herald's Art , And made a Language of their Terms apart , Compos'd of frightful words , of Chief , and Base , Of Chevron , Saltier , Canton , Bend , and Fess , And whatsoe're of hideous Jargon else Mad Guillim , and his barbarous Volume fills . Then farther the wild Folly to pursue , Plain down right Honour out of fashion grew : But to keep up its Dignity , and Birth , Expence , and Luxury must set it forth : It must inhabit stately Palaces , Distinguish Servants by their Liveries , And carrying vast Retinues up and down . The Duke and Earl be by their Pages known . Thus Honour to support it self is brought To its last shifts , and thence the Art has got Of borrowing every where , and paying nought : 'T is now thought mean , and much beneath a Lord To be an honest man , and keep his Word ; Who , by his Peerage , and Protection safe , Can plead the priviledge to be a Knave : While daily Crowds of starving Creditors Are forc'd to dance attendance at his doors , Till he at length with all his mortgag'd Lands . Are forfeited into the Banker's hands : Then to redress his wants , the bankrupt Peer To some rich trading Sot , turns Pensioner : And the next News , you 're sure to hear that he Is nobly wed into the Company : Where for a Portion of ill gotten Gold , Himself and all his Ancestors are sold : And thus repairs his broken Family At the expence of his own Infamy . For if you want Estate to set it forth , In vain you boast the splendor of your Birth : Your priz'd Gentility for madness goes , And each your Kindred shuns and disavows : But he that 's rich is prais'd at his full rate , And tho he once cry'd Small coal in the street , Tho he , nor none of his e're mentioned were , But in the Parish Book , or Register . D — lé by help of Chronicle shall trace An hundred Barons of his ancient Race . A SATYR . Addressed to a Friend , that is about to leave the University , and come abroad in the World. IF you 're so out of love with Happiness , To quit a College life , and learned ease ; Convince me first , and some good Reasons give , What methods and designs you 'l take to live : For such Resolves are needful in the Case , Before you tread the worlds Mysterious Maze : Without the Premisses in vain you 'l try To live by Systems of Philosophy : Your Aristotle , Cartes , and Le-Grand , And Euclid too in little stead will stand . How many men of choice , and noted parts , Well fraught with Learning , Languages , and Arts , Designing high Preferment in their mind , And little doubting good success to find , With vast and tow'ring thoughts have flock'd to Town , But to their cost soon found themselves undone , Now to repent , and starve at leisure left , Of miseries last Comfort , Hope bereft ? These fail'd for want of good Advice , you cry , Because at first they fix'd on no employ : Well then , let 's draw the Prospect , and the Scene To all advantage possibly we can : The world lies now before you , let me hear , What course your Judgment counsels you to steer : Always consider'd , that your whole Estate , And all your Fortune lies beneath your Hat : Were you the Son of some rich Usurer , That starv'd , and damn'd himself to make his Heir , Left nought to do , but to inter the Sot , And spend with ease what he with pains had got ; 'T were easie to advise how you might live , Nor would there need instruction then to give : But you , that boast of no Inheritance , Save that small Stock , which lies within your Brains , Learning must be your Trade , and therefore weigh With heed , how you your Game the best may play ; Bethink your self a while , and then propose What way of Life is fitt'st for you to choose . If you for Orders , and a Gown design , Consider only this , dear Friend of mine , The Church is grown so over-stock'd of late , That if you walk abroad , you 'l hardly meet More Porters now than Parsons in the street . At every Corner they are forc'd to ply , For Jobs of hawkering Divinity : And half the number of the Sacred Herd Are fain to strowl , and wander unpreferr'd : If this , or thoughts of such a weighty Charge Make you resolve to keep your self at large ; For want of better opportunity , A School must your next Sanctuary be : Go , wed some Grammar-Bridewel , and a Wife , And there beat Greek , and Latin●… for your life : With Birchen Scepter there command at will , Greater than Busby's self , or Doctor Gill , But who would be to the vile Drudg'ry bound Where there so small encouragement is found ? Where you for recompence of all your pains Shall hardly reach a common Fidler's gains ? For when you 've toil'd , and labour'd all you can , To dung , and cultivate a barren Brain : A Dancing Master shall be better paid , Tho he instructs the Heels , and you the Head : To such Indulgence are kind Parents grown , That nought costs less in Breeding than a Son : Nor is it hard to find a Father now , Shall more upon a Setting-dog allow : And with a freer hand reward the Care Of training up his Spaniel , than his Heir . Some think themselves exalted to the Sky , If they light in some noble Family ; Diet , an Horse , and thirty pounds a year , Besides the advantage of his Lordships ear , The credit of the business , and the State , Are things that in a Younster's Sense sound great . Little the unexperienc'd Wretch does know , What slavery he oft must undergo : Who tho in silken Skarf , and Cassock drest , Wears but a gayer Livery at best : When Dinner calls the Implement must wait With holy Words to consecrate the Meat : But hold it for a Favour seldom known , If he be deign'd the Honour to sit down . Soon as the Tarts appear , Sir Crape , withdraw ! Those Dainties are not for a spiritual Maw : Observe your distance , and be sure to stand Hard by the Cistern with your Cap in hand : There for diversion you may pick your Teeth , Till the kind Voider comes for your Relief : For meer Board-wages such their Freedom sell , Slaves to an Hour , and Vassals to a Bell : And if th' enjoyment of one day be stole , They are but Pris'ners out upon Parole : Always the marks of slavery remain , And they , tho loose , still drag about their Chain . And where 's the mighty Prospect after all , A Chaplainship serv'd up , and seven years Thrall ? The menial thing perhaps for a Reward Is to some slender Benefice preferr'd , With this Proviso bound , that he must wed My Ladies antiquated Waiting-maid , In Dressing only skill'd , and Marmalade , Let others who such meannesses can brook , Strike Countenance to every Great man's Look : Let those that have a mind , turn slaves to ear , And live contented by another's Plate : I rate my Freedom higher , nor will I For Food and Rayment truck my Liberty . But , if I must to my last shifts be put , To fill a Bladder , and twelve yards of Gut ; Rather with counterfeited wooden Leg , And my right Arm tied up , I 'll chuse to beg : I 'll rather chuse to starve at large , than be The gawdiest Vassal to Dependency . 'T has ever been the top of my Desires , The utmost height to which my wish aspires . That Heav'n would bless me with a small Estate , Where I might find a close obscure retreat ; There , free from Noise , and all ambitious ends , Enjoy a few choice Books , and fewer Friends , Lord of my self , accountable to none , But to my Conscience , and my God alone : There live unthought of , and unheard of , die , And grudge Mankind my very memory . But since the Blessing is ( I find ) too great For me to wish for , or expect of Fate : Yet , maugre all the spight of Destiny , My Thoughts , and Actions are , and shall be free . A certain Author , very grave , and sage , This Story tells : no matter , what the Page . One time , as they walk'd forth e're break of day , The Wolf , and Dog encounter'd on the way : Famish'd the one , meager , and lean of plight , As a cast Poet , who for Bread does write : The other fat , and plump , as Prebend , was , Pamper'd with Luxury , and holy Ease , Thus met , with Complements , too long to tell , Of being glad to see each other well : How now , Sir Towzer ? ( said the Wolf ) I pray , Whence comes it , that you look so sleek , and gay ? While I , who do as well ( I 'm sure ) deserve , For want of Livelihood am like to starve ? Troth Sir ( replied the Dog ) 'thas been my Fate , I thank the friendly Stars , to hap of late On a kind Master , to whose care I owe All this good Flesh , wherewith you see me now : From his rich Voider every day I 'm fed With Bones of Fowl , and Crusts of finest Bread : With Fricassee , Ragoust , and whatsoe're Of costly Kickshaws now in fashion are , And more variety of Boil'd and Roast , Than a Lord Mayor's Waiter e're could boast . Then , Sir , 't is hardly credible to tell , How I 'm respected , and belov'd by all : I 'm the Delight of the whole Family , Not darling Shock more Favourite than I : I never sleep abroad , to Air expos'd , But in my warm apartment am inclos'd : There on fresh Bed of Straw , with Canopy Of Hutch above , like Dog of State I lie . Besides , when with high Fare , and Nature fir'd , To generous Sports of Youth I am inspir'd , All the proud shee s are soft to my Embrace , From Bitch of Quality down to Turn-spit Race : Each day I try new Mistrisses and Loves , Nor envy Sovereign Dogs in their Alcoves . Thus happy I of all enjoy the best , No mortal Cur on Earth yet half so bless'd , And farther to enhance the Happiness , All this I get by idleness , and ease . Troth ! ( said the Wolf ) I envy your Estate Would to the Gods it were but my good Fate , That I might happily admitted be A member of your bless'd Society ! I would with Faithfulness discharge my place In any thing that I might serve his Grace : But , think you , Sir , it mould be feasible , And that my Application might prevail ? Do but endeavour , Sir , you need not doubt ; I make no question but to bring 't about : Only rely on me , and rest secure , I 'll serve you to the utmost of my Pow'r ; As I 'm a Dog of Honour , Sir : — but this I only take the Freedom to advise , That you 'd a little lay your Roughness by , And learn to practice Complaisance , like me . For that let me alone : I 'll have a care , And top my part , I warrant , to a hair : There 's not a Courtier of them all shall vie For Fawning , and for Suppleness with me . And thus resolv'd at last , the Travellers Towards the House together shape their course : The Dog , who Breeding well did understand , In walking gives his Ghest the upper hand : And as they walk along , they all the while With Mirth , and pleasant Raillery beguile The tedious Time , and Way , till Day drew near , And Light came on ; by which did soon appear The Mastiffs Neck to view all worn and bare . This when his Comrade spi'd , What means ( said he ) This Circle bare , which round your Neck I see ? If I may be so bold ; — Sir , you must know , That I at first was rough , and fierce , like you , Of Nature curs'd , and often apt to bite Strangers , and else , who ever came in sight : For this I was tied up , and underwent The Whip sometimes , and such light Chastisement : Till I at length by Discipline grew tame , Gentle , and tractable , as now I am : 'T was by this short , and slight severity I gain'd these Marks and Badges , which you see : But what are they ? Allons Monsieur ! let 's go . Not one step farther : Sir , excuse me now . Much joy t' ye of your envied , bless'd Estate : I will not buy Preferment at that rate : A Gods name , take your golden Chains for me : Faith , I 'd not be a King , not to be free : Sir Dog , your humble Servant , so Godbw'y . SOME VERSE Written in Septemb. 1676. Presenting a Book to COSMELIA . GO , humble Gift , go to that matchless Saint , Of whom thou only wast a Copy meant : And all , that 's read in thee , more richly find Compriz'd in the fair Volume of her mind ; That living System , where are fully writ All those high Morals , which in Books we meet : Easie , as in soft Air , there writ they are , Yet firm , as if in Brass they graven were . Nor is her Talent lazily to know As dull Divines , and holy Canters do ; She acts what they only in Pulpits prate , And Theory to Practice does translate : Nor her own Actions more obey her Will , Than that obeys strict Virtues dictates still : Yet does not Virtue from her Duty flow , But she is good , because she will be so : ' Her Virtue scorns at a low pitch to flie , T is all free Choice , nought of Necessity : By such soft Rules are Saints above confin'd , Such is the Tie , which them to Good does bind . The scatter'd Glories of her happy Sex In her bright Soul as in their Center mix : And all that they possess but by Retail , She hers by just Monopoly can call : Whose sole Example does more Virtues shew , Than Schoolmen ever taught , or ever knew . No Act did e're within her Practice fall , Which for the attonement of a Bush could call : No word of hers e're greeted any ear , But what a Saint at her last gasp might hear : Scarcely her Thoughts have ever sullied been With the least print , or stain of native Sin : Devout she is , as holy Hermits are , Who share their time 'twixt Extasie , and Prayer : Modest , as infant Roses in their Bloom , Who in a Blush their fragrant Lives consume : So chaste , the Dead themselves are only more , Who lie divorc'd from Objects , and from Power : So pure , could Virtue in a Shape appear , 'T would chuse to have no other Form , but Her : So much a Saint , I scarce dare call her so , For fear to wrong her with a name too low : Such the Seraphick Brightness of her mind , I hardly can believe her Womankind : But think some nobler Being does appear , Which to instruct the World , has left the Sphere , And condescends to wear a Body here . Or , if she mortal be , and meant to show The greater Art by being form'd below ; Sure Heaven preserv'd her by the Fall uncurs'd , To tell how good the Sex was made at first . THE PARTING . TOO happy had I been indeed , if Fate Had made it lasting , as she made it great ; But 't was the Plot of unkind Destiny , To lift me to , then snatch me from my Joy : She rais'd my Hopes , and brought them just in view , And then in spight the pleasing Scene withdrew . So He of old the promis'd Land survey'd , Which he might see , but never was to tread : So Heav'n was by that damned Caitiff seen , He saw 't , but with a mighty Gulf between , He saw 't to be more wretched , and despair agen : Not Souls of dying Sinners , when they go , Assur'd of endless Miseries below , Their Bodies more unwillingly desert , Than I from you , and all my Joys did part . As some young Merchant , whom his Sire unkind Resigns to every faithless Wave , and Wind ; If the kind Mistris of his Vows appear , And come to bless his Voyage with a Prayer , Such Sighs he vents as may the Gale increase , Such Flouds of Tears as may the Billows raise : And when at length the launching Vessel flies , And severs first his Lips , and then his Eyes ; Long he looks back to see what he adores , And while he may , views the beloved Shores. Such just concerns I at your Parting had , With such sad Eyes your turning Face survey'd : Reviewing , they pursu'd you out of sight , Then sought to trace you by left Tracks of Light : And when they could not Looks to you convey , Tow'rds the lov'd Place they took delight to stray , And aim'd uncertain Glances still that way . Complaining of ABSENCE . TEN days ( if I forget not ) wasted are ( A year in any Lover's Calendar ) Since I was forc'd to part , and bid adieu To all my Joy , and Happiness in you : And still by the same Hindrance am detain'd , Which me at first from your lov'd Sight constrain'd ▪ Oft I resolve to meet my Bliss , and then My Tether stops , and pulls me back agen ? So when our raised Thoughts to Heav'n aspire , Earth stifles them , and choaks the good desire . Curse on that Man , who Bus'ness first design'd , And by 't enthral'd a free-born Lover's mind ! A curse on Fate , who thus subjected me , And made me slave to any thing but thee ! Lovers should be as unconfin'd as Air , Free as its wild Inhabitants from Care : So free those happy Lovers are above , Exempt from all Concerns but those of Love : But I , poor Lover militant below , The Cares , and Troubles of dull Life must know ; Must toil for that , which does on others wait , And undergo the drudgery of Fate : Yet I 'll no more to her a Vassal be , Thou now shalt make , and rule my Destiny : Hence troublesome Fatigues ! all Bus'ness hence ! This very hour my Freedom shall commence : Too long that Jilt has thy proud Rival been , And made me by neglectful Absence sin ; But I 'll no more obey its Tyranny , Nor that , nor Fate it self shall hinder me Henceforth from seeing , and enjoying thee . Promising a VISIT . SOoner may Art , and easier far divide The soft embracing waters of the Tide , Which with united Friendship still rejoyn , Than part my Eyes , my Arms , or Lips from thine : Sooner it may Time's headlong motion force , In which it marches with unalter'd course , Or sever this from the succeeding Day , Than from thy happy Presence force my stay . Not the touch'd Needle ( emblem of my Soul ) With greater Rev'rence trembles to its Pole , Nor Flames with surer instinct upwards go , Than mine , and all their motions tend to you . Fly swift , ye minutes , and contract the space Of Time , which holds me from her dear Embrace : When I am there I 'll bid you kindly stay , I 'll bid you rest , and never glide away . Thither when Bus'ness gives me a Release To lose my Cares in soft , and gentle Ease , I 'll come , and all arrears of Kindness pay , And live o're my whole Absence in one day . Not Souls , releas'd from humane Bodies , move With quicker haste to meet their Bliss above : Than I , when freed from Clogs , that bind me now , Eager to seize my Happiness , will go . Should a fierce Angel arm'd with Thunder stand , And threaten Vengeance with his brandish'd hand , To stop the entrance to my Paradise ; I 'll venture , and his slighted Bolts despise . Swift as the wings of Fear , shall be my Love , And me to her with equal speed remove : Swift , as the motions of the Eye , or Mind , I 'll thither fly , and leave slow Thought behind . THE CARELESS Good Fellow . Written , March 9. 1680. SONG . I. APox of this sooling , and plotting of late , What a pother , and stir has it kept in the State ? Let the Rabble run mad with Suspicions , and Fears , Let them scuffle , and jar , till they go by the ears : Their Grievances never shall trouble my pate , So I can enjoy my dear Bottle at quiet . II. What Coxcombs were those , who would barter their ease And their Necks for a Toy , a thin Wafer and Mass ? At old Tyburn they never had needed to swing , Had they been but true Subjects to Drink , and their King ; A Friend , and a Bottle is all my design ; He has no room for Treason , that 's top-full of Wine . III. I mind not the Members and makers of Laws , Let them sit or Prorogue , as his Majesty please : Let them damn us to Woollen , I 'll never repine At my Lodging , when dead , so alive I have Wine : Yet oft in my Drink I can hardly forbeat To curse them for making my Claret so dear . IV. I mind not grave Asses , who idly debate About Right and Succession , the Trifles of State ; We 've a good King already : and he deserves laughter That will trouble his head with who shall come after : Come , here 's to his Health , and I wish he may be As free from all Care , and all Trouble , as we . V. What care I how Leagues with the Hollander go ? Or Intrigues betwixt Sidney , and Monsieur D'Avaux ? What concerns it my Drinking , if Casal be sold , If the Conquerour take it by Storming , or Gold ? Good Bordeaux alone is the place that I mind , And when the Fleet 's coming , I pray for a Wind. VI. The Bully of France , that aspires to Renown By dull cutting of Throats , and vent'ring his own ; Let him fight and be damn'd , and make Matches , and Treat , To afford the News-mongers , and Coffee-house Chat : He 's but a brave Wretch , while I am more free , More safe , and a thousand times happier than He. VII . Come He , or the Pope , or the Devil to boot , Or come Faggot , and Stake ; I care not a Groat ; Never think that in Smithfield I Porters will heat : No , I swear , Mr Fox , pray excuse me for that . I 'll drink in defiance of Gibbet , and Halter , This is the Profession , that never will alter . A SATYR . The Person of Spencer is brought in , Dissuading the Author from the Study of POETRY , and shewing how little it is esteem'd and encouraged in this present Age. ONE night , as I was pondering of late On all the mis'ries of my hapless Fate , Cursing my rhiming Stars , raving in vain At all the Pow'rs , which over Poets reign : In came a ghastly Shape , all pale , and thin , As some poor Sinner , who by Priest had been , Under a long Lent 's Penance , starv'd , and whip'd , Or par-boil'd Lecher , late from Hot-house crept : Famish'd his Looks appear'd , his Eyes sunk in , Like Morning-Gown about him hung his Skin : A Wreath of Lawrel on his Head he wore , A Book , inscrib'd the Fairy Queen , he bore . By this I knew him , rose , and bow'd , and said , Hail reverend Ghost ! all hail most sacred Shade ! Why this great Visit ? why vouchsaf'd to me , The meanest of thy British Progeny ? Com'st thou in my uncall'd , unhallow'd Muse , Some of thy mighty Spirit to infuse ? If so ; lay on thy Hands , ordain me fit For the high Cure , and Ministry of Wit : Let me ( I beg ) thy great Instructions claim , Teach me to tread the glorious paths of Fame : Teach me ( for none does better know than thou ) How , like thy self , I may immortal grow . Thus did I speak , and spoke it in a strain , Above my common rate , and usual vein ; As if inspir'd by presence of the Bard , Who with a Frown thus to reply was heard , In stile of Satyr , such wherein of old He the fam'd Tale of Mother Hubberd told . I come , fond Ideot , e're it be too late , Kindly to warn thee of thy wretched Fate : Take heed betimes , repent , and learn of me To shun the dang'rous Rocks of Poetry : Had I the choice of Flesh and Bloud again , To act once more in Life's tumultuous Scene : I 'd be a Portcr , or a Scavenger , A groom , or any thing , but Poet here : Hast thou observ'd some Hawker of the Town , Who through the Streets with dismal Scream and Tone , Cries Matches , Small-coal , Brooms , Old Shooes and Boots , Socks , Sermons , Ballads , Lies , Gazetts , and Votes ? So unrecorded to the Grave I 'd go , And nothing but the Register tell , who : Rather that poor unheard of Wretch I 'd be , Than the most glorious Name in Poetry , With all its boasted Immortality : Rather than He , who sung on Phrygia's Shore , The Grecian Bullies fighting for a Whore : Or He of Thebes , whom Fame so much extols For praising Jockies , and New-market Fools . So many now , and bad the Scriblers be , 'T is scandal to be of the Company : The foul Disease is so prevailing grown , So much the Fashion of the Court and Town , That scarce a man well bred in either's deem'd , But who has kill'd , been often clapt , and oft has rhim'd : The Fools are troubled with a Flux of Brains , And each on Paper squirts his filthy sense : A leash of Sonnets , and a dull Lampoon Set up an Author , who forthwith is grown A man of Parts , of Rhiming , and Renown : Ev'n that vile Wretch , who in lewd Verse each year Describes the Pageants , and my good Lord May'r , Whose Works must serve the next Election-day For making Squibs , and under Pies to lay , Yet counts himself of the inspired Train , And dares in thought the sacred Name profane . But is it nought ( thou'lt say ) in Front to stand , With Lawrel crown'd by White , or Loggan 's hand ? Is it not great , and glorious to be known , Mark'd out , and gaz'd at thro the wond'ring Town , By all the Ra●…le passing up and down ? So Oats and Bedloe have been pointed at , And every busie Coxcomb of the State : The meanest Felons who through Holborn go , More eyes , and looks than twenty Poets draw : If this be all , go , have thy posted Name Fix'd up with Bills of Quack , and publick Sham ; To be the stop of gaping Prentices , And read by reeling Drunkards , when they piss ; Or else to lie expos'd on trading Stall , While the bilk'd Owner hires Gazetts to tell , Mongst Spaniels lost , that Authors does not sell. Perhaps , fond Fool , thou sooth'st thy self in dream , With hopes of purchasing a lasting Name ? Thou think'st perhaps thy Trifles shall remain , Like sacred Cowley , and immortal Ben ? But who of all the bold Adventurers , Who now drive on the trade of Fame in Verse Can be ensur'd in this unfaithful Sea , Where there so many lost and shipwrack'd be ? How many Poems writ in ancient time , Which thy Fore-fathers had in great esteem , Which in the crowded Shops bore any rate , And sold like News Books , and Affairs of State , Have grown contemptible , and slighted since , As Pordage , Fleckno , or the British Prince ? Quarles , Chapman , Heywood , Withers had Applause , And Wild , and Ogilby in former days ; But now are damn'd to wrapping Drugs , and Wares , And curs'd by all their broken Stationers : And so may'st thou perchance pass up and down , And please a while th' admiring Court , and Town , Who after shalt in Duck-lane Shops be thrown , To mould with Silvester , and Shirley there , And truck for Pots of Ale next Stourbridg-Fair . Then who 'l not laugh to see th' immortal Name To vile Mundungus made a Martyr Flame ? And all thy deathless Monuments of Wit , Wipe Porters Tails , or mount in Paper-kite ? But , grant thy Poetry should find success , And ( which is rare ) the squeamish Criticks please ; Admit ▪ it read ▪ and prais'd ▪ and courted be By this nice Age , and all Posterity ; If thou expectest ought but empty Fame ; Condemn thy Hopes , and Labours to the Flame : The Rich have now learn'd only to admire , He , who to greater Favours does aspire , Is mercenary thought , and writes to hire : Would'st thou to raise thine , and thy Countries Fame , Chuse some old English Hero for thy Theme , Bold Arthur , or great Edward's greater Son , Or our fifth Harry , matchless in Renown , Make Agincourt , and Cressy F●…ields outvie The fam'd Lavinian Shores , and Walls of Troy ; What Scipio , what Moecenas would'st thou find , What Sidney now to thy great Project kind ? Bless me ! how great Genius ! how each Line Is big with Sense ! how glorious a Design Does thro the whole , and each Proportion shine ! How losty all his Thoughts , and how inspir'd ! Pity , such wond'rous Parts are not preferr'd : Cries a gay wealthy Sot , who would not bail For bare five Pounds the Author out of Jail , Should he starve there , and rot ; who if a Brief Came out the needy Poets to relieve , To the whole Tribe would searce a Tester give . But fifty Guinnies for a Whore and Clap ; The Peer's well us'd , and comes off wond'rous cheap : A Poet would be dear , and out o' th' way . Should he expect above a Coach man's pay : For this will any dedicate , and lye , And dawb the gaudy Ass with Flattery ? For this will any prostitute his Sense To Coxcombs void of Bounty , as of Brains ? Yet such is the hard Fate of Writers now , They 're forc'd for Alms to each great Name to bow : Fawn , like her Lap-dog , on her tawdry Grace , Commend her Beauty , and bely her Glass , By which she every morning primes her Face : Sneak to his Honour , call him Witty , Brave , And Just , tho a known Coward , Fool , or knave , And praise his Lineage , and Nobility , Whose Arms at first came from the Company . 'T is so , 't was ever so , since heretofore The blind old Bard , with Dog and Bell before , Was fain to sing for Bread from door to door ; The needy Muses all turn'd Gypsies then , And of the begging Trade e'er since have been : Should mighty Sappho in these days revive , And hope upon her stock of Wit to live ; She must to Creswel's trudg to mend her Gains , And let her Tail to hire , as well as Brains . What Poet ever fin'd for Sheriff ? or who By Wit and Sense did ever Lord Mayors grow ? My own hard Usage here I need not press , Where you have every day before your face Plenty of fresh resembling Instances : Great Cowley's Muse the same ill Treatment had , Whose Verse shall live for ever to upbraid Th' ungrateful World , that left such Worth unpaid . Waller himself may thank Inheritance For what he else had never got by Sense . On Butler who can think without just Rage , The Glory , and the Scandal of the Age ? Fair stood his hopes , when first he came to Town , Met every where with welcomes of Renown , Courted , and lov'd by all , with wonder read , And promises of Princely Favour fed : But what Reward for all had he at last , After a Life in dull expectance pass'd ? The Wretch at summing up his mis-spent days Found nothing left , but Poverty , and Praise : Of all his Gains by Verse he could not save Enough to purchase Flannel , and a Grave : Reduc'd to want , he in due time fell sick , Was fain to die , and be interr'd on tick : And well might bless the Fever that was sent , To rid him hence , and his worse Fate prevent . You 've seen what fortune other Poets share ; View next the Factors of the Theatre : That constant Mart , which all the year does hold , Where Staple wit is barter'd , bought , and sold ; Here trading Scriblers for their Maintainance , And Livelihood trust to a Lott'ry chance : But who his Parts would in the Service spend , Where all his hopes on Vulgar Breath depend ? Where every Sot , for paying half a Crown , Has the Prerogative to cry him down ? Sidley indeed may be content with Fame , Nor care should an ill-judging Audience damn : But Settle , and the Rest , that writ for Pence , Whose whole Estate 's an ounce , or two of Brains , Should a thin House on the third day appear , Must starve , or live in Tatters all the year . And what can we expect that 's brave and great , From a poor needy Wretch , that writes to eat ? Who the success of the next Play must wait For Lodging , Food , and Cloaths , and whose chief care Is how to spunge for the next Meal , and where ? Hadst thou of old in flourishing Athens liv'd , When all the learned Arts in Glory thriv'd , When mighty Sephocles the Stage did sway , And Poets by the State were held in pay ; 'T were worth thy Pains to cultivate thy Muse , And daily wonders then it might produce ; But who would now write Hackney to a Stage , That 's only thought the Nuisance of the Age ? Go after this , and beat thy wretched Brains , And toil to bring in thankless Ideots means : Turn o're dull Horace , and the Classick Fools , To poach for Sense , and hunt for idle Rules : Be free of Tickets , and the Play-houses , To make some tawdry Act'ress there by Prize , And spend thy third Days gains 'twixt her clap'd Thighs . All Trades , and all Professions here abound , And yet Encouragement for all is found : Here a vile Emp'rick , who by Licence kills , Who every Week helps to increase the Bills , Wears Velvet , keeps his Coach , and Whore beside , For what less Villains must to Tyburn ride . There a dull trading Sot , in Wealth o regrown By thriving Knavery , can call his own . A dozen Mannors , and if Fate still bless , Expect as many Counties to possess . Punks , Panders , Bawds , all their due Pensions gain , And every day the Great Mens Bounty drain : Lavish expence on Wit , has never yet Been tax'd amongst the Grievances of State. The Turky , Guinny , India Gainers be , And all but the Poetick Company : Each place of Traffick , Bantam , Smyrna , Zant , Greenland , Virginia , Sevil , Alicant , And France , that sends us Dildoes , Lace , and Wine , Vast profit all , and large Returns bring in : Parnassus only is that barren Coast , Where the whole Voyage , and Adventure 's lost . Then be advis'd , the slighted Muse forsake , And Coke , and Dalton for thy study take : For Fees each Term sweat in the crowded Hall , And there for Charters , and crack'd Titles bawl : Where M — d thrives , and pockets more each year Than forty Laureats of the Theater , Or else to Orders , and the Church betake Thy self , and that thy future Refuge make : There fawn on some proud Patron to engage Th' Advowson of cast Punk , and Parsonage : Or sooth the Court ▪ and preach up Kingly Right , To gain a Prebend'ry , and Mitre by 't . In fine , turn Pettifogger , Canonist , Civilian , Pedant , Mountebank , or Priest , Soldier , or Merchant , Fidler , Painter , Fencer , Jack-pudding , Juggler , Player , or Rope-dancer : Preach , Plead , Cure , Fight , Game , Pimp , Beg , Cheat , or Thieve ; Be all but Poet , and there 's way to live . But why do I in vain my Counsel spend On one whom there 's so little hope to mend ? Where I perhaps as fruitlesly exhort , As Lenten Doctors , when they Preach at Court ? Not enter'd Punks from Lust they once have tried , Not Fops , and Women from Conceit , and Pride , Not Bawds from Impudence , Cowards from Fear , Nor sear'd unfeeling Sinners past Despair , Are half so hard , and stubborn to reduce , As a poor Wretch , when once poss●…ss'd with Mus●… . If therefore , what I 've said , cannot avail , Nor from the Rhiming Folly thee recal , But spite of all thou wilt be obstinate , And run thy self upon avoidless Fate ; May'st thou go on unpitied , till thou be Brought to the Parish , Bridge , and Beggary : Till urg'd by want , like broken Scriblers , thou Turn Poet to a Booth , a Smithfield-Show , And write Heroick Verse for Bartholmew : Then slighted by the very Nursery , May'st thou at last be forc'd to starve , like me . A SATYR , In Imitation of the Third of JUVENAL . Written , May , 1682. The Poet brings in a Friend of his , giving him an account why he removes from London to live in the Country . THO much concern'd to leave my dear old Friend , I must however his Design commend Of fixing in the Country : for were I As free to chuse my Residence , as he ; The Peake , the Fens , the Hundreds , or Lands-end , I would prefer to Fleetstreet , or the Strand . What place so desart , and so wild is there , Whose Inconveniencies one would not bear , Rather than the Alarms of midnight Fire , The falls of Houses , Knavery of Cits , The Plots of Factions , and the noise of Wits , And thousand other Plagues , which up and down Each day and hour infest the cursed Town ? As Fate wou'd have 't , on the appointed day Of parting hence , I met him on the way , Hard by Mile-end , the place so fam'd of late , In Prose , and Verse for the great Factions Treat ; Here we stood still , and after Complements Of course , and wishing his good Journey hence , I ask'd what sudden causes made him slie The once-lov'd Town , and his dear Company : When , on the hated Prospect looking back , Thus with just rage the good old Timon spake . Since Virtue here in no repute is had , Since Worth is scorn'd , Learning and Sense un paid , And Knavery the only thriving Trade ; Finding my slender Fortune every day Dwindle , and waste insensibly away , I , like a losing Gamester , thus retreat , To manage wiselier my last stake of Fate : While I have strength , and want no staff to prop My tott'ring Limbs , e're Age has made me stoop Beneath its weight , e're all my Thread be spun , And Life has yet in store some Sands to run , 'T is my Resolve to quit the nauseous Town . Let thriving Morecraft chuse his dwelling there , Rich with the Spoils of some young spend-thrist Heir : Let the Plot-mongers stay behind , whose Art Can Truth to Sham , and Sham to Truth convert : Who ●…ver has an House to Build , or Set , His Wife , his Conscience , or his Oath to let : Who ever has , or hopes for Offices , A Navy , Guard , or Custom-house's Place : Let sharping Courtiers stay , who there are great By putting the false Dice on King , and State. Where they , who once were Grooms , and Foot-Boys known , Are now to fair Estates , and Honours grown ; Nor need we envy them , or wonder much At their fantastick Greatness , since they 're such , Whom Fortune oft in her capricious freaks Is pleas'd to raise from Kennels , and the Jakes , To Wealth , and Dignity above the rest , When she is frolick , and dispos'd to jest . I live in London ? What should I do there ? I cannot lye , nor flatter , nor forswear : I can't commend a Book , or Piece of Wit , ( Tho a Lord were the Author ) dully writ : I 'm no Sir Sydrophel to read the Stars , And cast Nativities for longing Heirs , When Fathers shall drop off : no Gadbury To tell the minute , when the King shall die , And you know what — come in : nor can I steer , And tack about my Conscience , whensoe're , To a new Point , I see Religion veer . Let others pimp to Courtier 's Lechery , I 'll draw no City-Cuckold's Curse on me : Nor would I do it , tho to be made great , And rais'd to the chief Ministry of State. Therefore I think it fit to rid the Town Of one , that is an useless member grown . Besides , who has pretence to Favour now , But he , who hidden Villany does know , Whose Breast does with some burning Secret glow ? By none thou shalt preferr'd , or valued be , That trusts thee with an honest Secresie : He only may to great mens Friendship reach , Who Great Men , when he pleases , can impeach . Let others thus aspire to Dignity ; For me , I 'd not their envied Grandeur buy For all th' Exchange is worth , that Pauls will cost , Or was of late in the Scotch Voyage lost . What would it boot , if I , to gain my end , Forgo my Quiet , and my ease of mind , Still fear'd , at last betray'd by my great Friend . ? Another Cause , which I must boldly own , And not the least , for which I quit the Town , Is to behold it made the Common-shore , Where France does all her Filth , and Ordure pour : What Spark of true old English rage can bear Those , who were Slaves at home , to Lord it here ? We 've all our Fashions , Language , Complements , Our Musick , Dances , Curing , Cooking thence ; And we shall have their Pois'ning too e're long , If still in the improvement we go on . What would'st thou say , great Harry , should'st thou view Thy gawdy flutt'ring Race of English now , Their tawdry Cloaths , Pulvilio's , Essences , Their Chedreux Perruques , and those Vanities , Which thou , and they of old did so despise ? What Would'st thou say to see th' infected Town With the fowl Spawn of Foreiners o're-run ? Hither from Paris , and all Parts they come , The Spue , and Vomit of their Goals at home ; To Court they flock , and to St. James his Square , And wriggle into Great Mens Service there : Foot-boys at first , till they , from wiping Shooes , Grow by degrees the Masters of the House : Ready of Wit , harden'd of Impudence , Able with ea●…e to put down either H — Both the King's Player , and King's Evidence : Flippant of Talk , and voluble of Tongue , With words at will , no Lawyer better hung ; Softer than flattering Court-Parasite , Or City-Trader , when he means to cheat : No Calling , or Profession comes amiss , A needy Monsieur can be what he please , Groom , Page , Valet , Quack , Operator , Fencer , Perfumer , Pimp ; Jack-pudding , Juggler , Dancer : Give but the word ; the Cur will fetch and bring , Come over to the Emperour , or King : Or , if you please , fly o're the Pyramid , Which J — n and the rest in vain have tried , Can I have patience , and endure to see The paltry Forein Wretch take place of me , Whom the same Wind , and Vessel brought ashore , That brought prohibited Goods , and Dildoes o're ? Then , pray , what mighty Priviledge is there For me , that at my Birth drew English Air ? And where 's the Benefit to have my Veins Run British Bloud , if there 's no difference 'Twixt me , and him , the Statute Freedom gave , And made a Subject of a true-born Slave ? But nothing shocks , and is more loath'd by me , Than the vile Rascal 's fulsom Flattery : By help of this false Magnifying Glass , A Louse , or Flea shall for a Camel pass : Produce an hideous Wight , more ugly far Than those ill Shapes , which in old Hangings are , He 'l make him strait a Beau Garzon appear : Commend his Voice , and Singing , tho he bray Worse than Sir Martin Marr-all in the Play : And if he Rhime ; shall praise for Standard Wit , More scurvy sense than Pryn , and Vickars Writ . And here 's the mischief , tho we say the same , He is believ'd , and we are thought to sham : Do you but smile , immediately the Beast Laughs out aloud , tho he ne'r heard the Jest ; Pretend , you 're sad , he 's presently in Tears , Yet grieves no more than Marble , when it wears Sorrow in Metaphor : but speak of Heat ; O God! how sultry ' t is ? he 'l cry , and sweat In depth of Winter : strait , if you complain Of Cold ; the Weather glass is sunk again : Then he 'l call for his Frize-Campaign , and swear 'T is beyond Eighty , he 's in Greenland here . Thus he shifts Scenes , and oft'ner in a day Can change his Face , than Actors at a Play : There 's nought so mean , can scape the flatt'ring Sot , Not his Lord's Snuff-box , nor his Powder-Spot : If he but Spit , or pick his Teeth ; he 'l cry , How every thing becomes you ? let me die , Your Lordship does it most judiciously : And swear , 't is fashionable , if he Sneeze , Extremely taking , and it needs must please . Besides , there 's nothing sacred , nothing free From the hot Satyr's rampant Lechery : Nor Wife , nor Virgin-Daughter can escape , Scarce thou thyself , or Son avoid a Rape : All must go pad-lock'd : if nought else there be , Suspect thy very Stables Chastity . By this the Vermin into Secrets creep , Thus Families in awe they strive to keep . What living for an English man is there , Where such as these get head , and domineer , Whose use and custom 't is , never to share . A Friend , but love to reign without dispute , Without a Rival , full , and absolute ? Soon as the Insect gets his Honour's ear , And fly-blows some of 's poys'nous malice there , Strait I 'm turn'd off , kick'd out of doors , discarded , And all my former Service disregarded . But leaving these Messieurs , for fear that I Be thought of the Silk-Weavers Mutiny , From the loath'd subject let us hasten on , To mention other Grievances in Town : And further , what Respect at all is had Of poor men here ? and how 's their Service paid , Tho they be ne'r so diligent to wait , To sneak , and dance attendance on the Great ? No mark of Favour is to be obtain'd By one , that sues , and brings an empty hand : And all his merit is but made a Sport , Unless he glut some Cormorant at Court. 'T is now a common thing , and usual here , To see the Son of some rich Usurer Take place of Nobles , keep his first-rate Whore , And for a Vaulting bout , or two give more Than a Guard-Captains Pay : mean while the Breed Of Peers , reduc'd to Poverty , and there Are fain to trudg to the Bank-side , and there Take up with Porters leavings , Suburb-Ware , There spend that Bloud , which their great Ancestor So nobly shed at Cressy heretofore , At Brothel-Fights in some foul Common-shore . Produce an Evidence , tho just he be , As righteous Job , or Abraham , or He , Whom Heaven , when whole Nature shipwrack'd was , Thought worth the saving , of all humane Race , Or t'other , who the flaming Deluge scap'd , When Sodom's Lechers Angels would have rap'd ; How rich he is , must the first question be , Next for his Manners , and Integrity : They 'l ask , what Equipage he keeps , and what He 's reckon'd worth in Money , and Estate , For Shrieve how oft he has been known to fine , And with how many Dishes he does dine : For look what Cash a person has in store , Just so much Credit has he , and no more : Should I upon a thousand Bibles Swear , And call each Saint throughout the Calendar : To vouch my Oath ; it won't be taken here ; The Poor flight Heav'n , and Thunderbolts ( they think ) And Heav'n it self does at such Trifles wink . Besides , what store of gibing scoffs are thrown On one , that 's poor , and meanly clad in Town ; If his Apparel seem but overworn , His Stockings out at heel , or Breeches torn ? One takes occasion his ript Shooe to flout , And swears 'thas been at Prison-Grates hung out : Another shrewdly jeers his coarse Crevat , Because himself wears Point : a third his Hat , And most unmercifully shews his Wit , If it be old , or does not cock aright : Nothing in Poverty so ill is born , As its exposing men to grinning scorn , To be by tawdry Coxcombs piss'd upon , And made the jesting-stock of each Buffoo●… . Turn out there , Friend ! ( cries one at Church ) the Pew Is not for such mean scoundrel Curs , as you : 'T is for your Betters kept : Belike , some Sot , That knew no Father , was on Bulks begot : But now is rais'd to an Estate , and Pride , By having the kind Proverb on his side : Let Gripe and Cheatwel take their Places there , And Dash the S●…riv'ners gawdy sparkish Heir , That wears three ruin'd Orphans on his back : Mean while you in the Alley stand , and sneak : And you therewith must rest contented , since Almighty Wealth does put such difference . What Citizen a Son-in-law will take , Bred ne'r so well , that can't a Joynter make ? What man of sense , that 's poor , e're summon'd is Amongst the Common-Council to advise ? At Vestry-Consults when does he appear , For choosing of some Parish-Officer , Or making Leather-Buckets for the Choir ? 'T is hard for any man to rise , that feels His Virtue clog'd with Poverty at heels : But harder 't is by much in London , where A sorry Lodging , coarse , and slender Fare , Fire , Water , Breathing , every thing is dear : Yet such as these an earthen Dish disdain , With which their Ancestors , in Edgar's Reign , Were serv'd , and thought it no disgrace to dine , Tho they were rich , had store of Leather-Coin . Low as their Fortune is , yet they despise A man that walks the streets in homely Frize : To speak the truth , great part of England now In their own Cloth will scarce vouchsafe to go : Only , the Statutes Penalty to save , Some few perhaps wear Woollen in the Grave . Here all go gaily drest , altho it be Above their Means , their Rank , and Quality : The most in borrow'd Gallantry are clad ; For which the Tradesmen's Books are still unpaid : This Fault is common in the meaner sort , That they must needs affect to bear the Port Of Gentlemen , though they want Income for 't . Sir , to be short , in this expensive Town There 's nothing without Money to be done : What will you give to be admitted there , And brought to speech of some Court-Minister ? What will you give to have the quarter face , The squint and nodding go-by of his Grace ? His Porter , Groom , and Steward must have Fees ; And you may see the Tombs , and Tow'r for less : Hard Fate of Suitors ! who must pay , and pray To Livery-slaves , yet oft go scorn'd away . Who e'reat Barnet , or S. Albans fears To have his Lodging drop about his ears , Unless a sudden Hurricane besal , Or such a Wind as blew old Noll to Hell ? Here we build slight , what scarce out-lasts the Lease , Without the helps of Props , and Buttresses : And Houses now adays as much require To be ensur'd from Falling , as from Fire . There Buildings are substantial , tho less neat , And kept with care both Wind , and Water-tight : There you in safe security are blest , And nought , but Conscience to disturb your Rest , I am for living where no Fires affright , No Bells rung backward break my sleep at night : I scarce lie down , and draw my Curtains here , But strait I'm rous'd by the next House on Fire : Pale , and half dead with Fear , my self I raise , And find my Room all over in a blaze : By this 'thas seiz'd on the third Stairs , and I Can now discern no other Remedy , But leaping out at Window to get free : For if the Mischief from the Cellar came , Be sure the Garret is the last , takes flame . The moveables of P ge were a Bed For him , and 's Wise , a Piss-pot by its side , A Looking-glass upon the Cupboards Head , A Comb-case , Candlestick , and Pewter-spoon , For want of Plate , with Desk to write upon : A Box without a Lid serv'd to contain Few Authors , which made up his Vatican : And there his own immortal Works were laid , On which the barbarous Mice for hunger prey'd : P — had nothing , all the world does know ; And yet should he have lost this Nothing too , No one the wretched Bard would have suppli'd With Lodging , House-room , or a Crust of Bread. But if the Fire burn down some Great Man's House , All strait are interessed in the loss : The Court is strait in Mourning sure enough , The Act , Commencement , and the Term put off : Then we Mischances of the Town lament , And Fasts are kept , like Judgments to prevent . Out comes a Brief immediately , with speed To gather Charity as far as Tweed . Nay , while 't is burning , some will send him in Timber , and Stone to build his House agen : Others choice Furniture : here some rare piece Of Rubens , or Vandike presented is : There a rich Suit of Moreclack-Tapestry , A Bed of Damask , or Embroidery : One gives a fine Scritore , or Cabinet , Another a huge massie Dish of Plate , Or Bag of Gold ; thus he at length gets more By kind misfortune than he had before : And all suspect it for a laid Design , As if he did himself the Fire begin . Could you but be advis'd to leave the Town , And from dear Plays , and drinking Friends be drawn , An handsom Dwelling might be had in Kent , Surrey , or Essex , at a cheaper Rent Than what you 're forc'd to give for one half year To lie , like Lumber , in a Garret here : A Garden there , and Well , that needs no Rope , Engine , or Pains to Crane its Waters up : Water is there through Natures Pipes convey'd , For which no Custom , or Excise is paid : Had I the smallest Spot of Ground , which scarce Would Summer half a dozen Grashoppers , Not larger than my Grave , tho hence remote , Far as St. Michaels Mount , I would go to 't , Dwell there content , and thank the Fates to boot . Here want of Rest a nights more People kills Than all the College , and the weekly Bills : Where none have privilege to sleep , but those , Whose Purses can compound for their Repose : In vain I go to bed , or close my eyes , Methinks the place the middle Region is , Where I lie down in Storms , in Thunder rise : The restless Bells such Din in Steeples keep , That scarce the Dead can in their Church-yards sleep : Huzza's of Drunkards , Bell-mens midnight-Rhimes , The noise of Shops , with Hawkers early Screams , Besides the Brawls of Coach-men , when they meet , And stop in turnings of a narrow Street , Such a loud Medly of confusion make , As drowsie A — r on the Bench would wake . If you walk out in Bus'ness ne'r so great , Ten thousand stops you must expect to meet : Thick Crouds in every Place you must charge through , And storm your Passage , wheresoe'r you go : While Tides of Followers behind you throng , And , pressing on your heels , shove you along : One with a Board , or Rafter hits your Head , Another with his Elbow bores your side ; Some tread upon your Corns , perhaps in sport ; Mean while your Legs are cas'd all o're with Dirt. Here you the March of a slow Funeral wait , Advancing to the Church with solemn State : There a Sedan , and Lacquies stop your way , That bears some Punk of Honour to the Play : Now you some mighty piece of Timber meet , Which tott'ring threatens ruine to the Street : Next a huge Portland Stone , for building Pauls , If self almost a Rock , on Carriage rowls : Which , if it fall , would cause a Massacre , And serve at once to murder , and interr . If what I've said can't from the Town affright , Consider other dangers of the Night : When Brickbats are from upper Stories thrown , And emptied Chamber pots come pouring down From Garret Windows : you have cause to bless The gentle Stars , if you come off with Piss : So many Fates attend , a man had need , Ne'r walk without a Surgeon by his side : And he can hardly now discreet be thought , That does not make his Will , ere he go out . If this you scape , twenty to one , you meet Some of the drunken Scowrers of the Street , Flush'd with success of warlike Deeds perform'd , Of Constables subdu'd , and Brothels storm'd : These , if a Quarrel , or a Fray be mist , Are ill at ease a nights , and want their Rest. For mischief is a Lechery to some , And serves to make them sleep like Laudanum . Yet heated , as they are , with Youth , and Wine , If they diseern a Train of Flamboes shine , If a Great Man with his gilt Coach appear , And a strong Guard of Foot-boys in the rear , The Rascals sneak , and shrink their Heads for fear . Poor me , who use no Light to walk about , Save what the Parish , or the Skies hang out , They value not : 't is worth your while to hear The scuffle , if that be a scuffle , where Another gives the Blows , I only bear : He bids me stand : of force I must give way , For 't were a sensless thing to disobey , And struggle here , where I 'd as good oppose My self to P — and his Mastiffs loose . Who 's there ? he cries , and takes you by the Throat , Dog ! are you dumb ? Speak quickly , else my Foot Shall march about your Buttocks : whence d' ye come , From what Bulk-ridden Strumpet reeking home ? Saving your reverend Pimpship , where d' ye ply ? How may onè have a Job of Lechery ? If you say any thing , or hold your peace , And silently go off ; 't is all a case : Still he lays on : nay well , if you scape so : Perhaps he 'l clap an Action on you too Of Battery : nor need he fear to meet A Jury to his turn , shall do him right , And bring him in large Damage for a Shooe Worn out , besides the pains , in kicking you . A Poor Man must expect nought of redress , But Patience : his best way in such a case Is to be thankful for the Drubs , and beg That they would mercifully spare one leg , Or Arm unbroke , and let him go away With Teeth enough to eat his Meat next day . Nor is this all , which you have cause to fear , Oft we encounter midnight Padders here : When the Exchanges , and the Shops are close , And the rich Tradesman in his Counting-house To view the Profits of the day withdraws . Hither in flocks from Shooters-Hill they come , To seek their Price , and Booty nearer home : Your Purse ! they cry ; 't is madness to resist , Or strive with a cock'd Pistol at your Breast : And these each day so strong and numerous grow , The Town can scarce afford them Jail-room now . Happy the times of the old Heptarchy , Ere London knew so much of Villany : Then fatal Carts through Holborn seldom went , And Tyburn with few Pilgrims was content : A less , and single Prison then would do , And serv'd the City , and the County too . These are the Reasons , Sir , which drive me hence , To which I might add more ; would Time dispense , To hold you longer ; but the Sun draws low , The Coach is hard at hand , and I must go : Therefore , dear Sir , farewel ; and when the Town From better Company can spare you down , To make the Country with your Presence blest , Then visit your old Friend amongst the rest ; There I 'll find leisure to unlade my mind Of what Remarques I now must leave behind : The Fruits of dear Experience , which with these Improv'd will serve for hints , and notices ; And when you write again , may be ofuse To furnish Satyr for your daring Muse. A Dithyrambick . The Drunkards Speech in a Mask . Written in Aug. 1677. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . I. YES , you are mighty wise , I warrant , mighty wise ! With all your godly Tricks , and Artifice , Who think to chouse me of my dear and pleasant Vice. Hence holy Sham ! in vain your fruitless Toil ▪ Go , and some unexperienc'd Fop beguile , To some raw ent'ring Sinner cant , and Whine , Who never knew the worth of Drunkenness and Wine . I 've tried and prov'd , and found it all Divine : It is resolv'd , I will drink on , and die , I 'll not one minute lose , not I , To hear your troublesom Divinity : Fill me a top-full Glass , I 'll drink it on the Knee , Confusion to the next that spoils good Company . II. That Gulp was worth a Soul , like it , it went , And thorowout new Life , and Vigour sent : I feel it warm at once my Head , and Heart , I feel it all in all , and all in every part . Let the vile Slaves of Bus'ness toil , and strive , Who want the Leisure , or the Wit to live ; While we Life's tedious journey shorter make , And reap those Joys which they lack sense to take . Thus live the Gods ( if ought above our selves there be ) They live so happy , unconcern'd , and free : Like us they sit , and with a careless Brow Laugh at the petty Jars of Humane kind below : Like us they spend their Age in gentle Ease , Like us they drink ; for what were all their Heav'n , alas ! If sober , and compell'd to want that Happiness . III. Assist almighty Wine , for thou alone hast Power , And other I 'll invoke no more , Assist , while with just Praise I thee odore ; Aided by thee , I dare thy worth rehearse , In Flights above the common pitch of groveling Verse . Thou art the Worlds great Soul , that heav'nly Fire , Which dost our dull half-kindled mass inspire . We nothing gallant , and above our selves produce , Till thou do'st finish Man , and Reinfuse . Thou art the only source of all , the world calls great , Thou didst the Poets first , and they the Gods create : To thee their Rage , their Heat , their Flame they owe , Thon runst half share with Art , and Nature too . They owe their Glory , and Renown to thee ; Thou giv'st their Verse , and them Eternity . Great Alexander , that big'st Word of Fame , That fills her Throat , and almost rends the same , Whose Valour found the World too strait a Stage For his wide Victories , and boundless Rage , Got not Repute by War alone , but thee , He knew , he ne'r could conquer by Sobriety , And drunk as well as fought for universal Monarchy . IV. Pox o' that lazy Claret ! how it stays ? Were it again to pass the Seas ; 'T would sooner be in Cargo here , 'T is now a long East-India Voyage , half a year . ' Sdeath ! here 's a minute lost , an Age , I mean , Slipt by , and ne'r to be retriev'd again . For pitty suffer not the precious Juyce to die , Let us prevent our own , and its Mortality : Like it , our Life with standing and Sobriety is pall'd , And like it too , when dead , can never be recall'd . Push on the Glass , let it measure out each hour , For every Sand an Health let 's pour : Swift as the rowling Orbs above , And let it too as regularly move : Swift as Heav'ns drunken red-fac'd Traveller , the Sun , And never rest , till his last Race be done , Till time it self be all run out , and we Have drunk our selves into Eternity . V. Six in a hand begin ! we 'll drink it twice a piece . A Health to all that love , and honour Vice. Six more as oft to the great Founder of the Vine , ( A God he was , I 'm sure , or should have been ) The second Father of Mankind I meant , He , when the angry Pow'rs a Deluge sent , When for their Crimes our sinful Race was drown'd , The only bold , and vent'rous man was found , Who durst be drunk agen , and with new Vice the World replant . The mighty Patriarch 't was of blessed Memory , Who scap'd in the great Wreck of all Mortality , And stock'd the Globe afresh with a brave drinking Progeny , In vain would spightful Nature us reclaim , Who to small Drink our Isle thought fit to damn , And set us out o' th' reach of Wine , In hope strait Bounds could our vast Thirst confine . He taught us first with Ships the Seas to roam , Taught us from Forein Lands to fetch supply , Rare Art ! that makes all the wide world our home , Makes every Realm pay Tribute to our Luxury , VI. Adieu poor tott'ring Reason ! tumble down ! This Glass shall all thy proud usurping Powers drown , And Wit on thy cast Ruines shall erect her Throne : Adieu , thou fond Disturber of our Life ! That check'st our Joys , with all our Pleasure art at strife : I 've something brisker now to govern me , A more exalted noble Faculty , Above thy Logick , and vain boasted Pedantry . Inform me , if you can , ye reading Sots , what 't is , That guides th' unerring Deities : They no base Reason to their Actions bring , But move by some more high , more heavenly thing , And are without Deliberation wise : Ev'n such is this , at least 't is much the same , For which dull Schoolmen never yet could find a name , Call ye this madness ? damn that sober Fool , ( 'T was sure some dull Philosopher , some reas'ning Tool ) Who the reproachful Term did first devise , And brought a scandal on the best of Vice. Go , ask me , what 's the rage young Prophets feel , When they with holy Frenzy reel : Drunk with the Spirits of infus'd Divinity , They rave , and stagger , and are mad , like me . VII . Oh , what an Ebb of Drink have we ? Bring us a Deluge , fill us up the Sea , Let the vast Ocean be our mighty Cup ; We 'll drink 't , and all its Fishes too like Loaches up . Bid the Canary Fleet land here : we 'll pay The Fraight , and Custom too defray : Set every man a Ship , and when the Store Is emptied ; let them strait dispatch , and Sail for more : 'T is gone : and now have at the Rhine , With all its petty Rivulets of Wine : The Empire 's Forces with the Spanish well combine , We 'll make their Drink too in confederacy joyn . ' Ware France the next : this Round Bourdeaux shall swallow , Champagn , Langon , and Burgundy shall follow . Quick let 's forestal Lorain ; We 'll starve his Army , all their Quarters drain , And without Treaty put an end to the Campagn , Go , set the Universe a tilt , turn the Globe up , Squeeze out the last , the slow unwilling Drop : A pox of empty Nature ! since the World 's drawa dry , 'T is time we quit mortality , 'T is time we now give out , and die , Lest we are plagu'd with Dulness and Sobriety . Beset with Link boys , we 'll in triumph go , A Troop of stagg'ring Ghosts down to the Shades below : Drunk we 'll march off , and reel into the Tomb , Natures convenient dark Retiring Room ; And there , from Noiso remov'd , and all tumultuous strife , Sleep out the dull Fatigue , and long Debauch of Life . [ Tries to go off , but tumbles down , and falls asleep . FINIS . REMAINS OF Mr. John Oldham IN VERSE and PROSE . LONDON : Printed for Jo. Hindmarsh , Bookseller to his Royal Highness , at the Black Bull in Cornil , 1684. Advertisement . THe Author of these following Poems being dead , the Publisher thought fit to acquaint the World , that the reason why he exposed them now in Print , was not so much for his own Interest ( tho a Bookseller that disclaims Interest for a pretence , will no more be believed now adays , than a thorough paced Phanatick , that pretends he makes a journey to New England purely for conscience sake ) but for securing the reputation of Mr. Oldham ; which might otherwise have suffered from worse hands , and out of a desire he has to print the last Remains of his friend since he had the good fortune to publish his first Pieces . He confesses that it is the greatest piece of injustice to publish the posthumous Works of Authors , especially such , that we may suppose they had brought to the file and sent out with more advantages into the World , had they not been prevented by untimely death ; and therefore assures you he had never presumed to print these following Miscellanies , had they not already been countenanced by men of unquestionable repute and esteem . He is not of the same perswasion with several others of his own profession , that never care how much they lessen the reputation of the Poet , if they can but inhance the value of the Book ; that ransackt he Studies of the deceased , and print all that passed under the Author's hands , from Fifteen to Forty , and upwards : and ( as the incomparable Mr. Cowley has exprest it ) think a rude heap of ill placed Stones a better Monument than a neat Tomb of Marble . For the Description of the Country P — ( the only part in this Book that he judges liable to exception ) he makes you no Apology at all ; For to men of candor and judgment any thing that comes from Mr. Oldham will certainly be acceptable ; to others that are resolved to damn at first sight he thinks a defence of this nature signifies no more than a Plantiffs perswasions to a hungry Judg after twelve . However he is very confident that the rest of Mr. Oldham's pieces will abundantly atone for one unfinished draught , and that no man of sense and reason will quarel at one bad half Crown , in a good , round , substantial lump of Money . To the MEMORY of Mr. OLDHAM . FArewel , too little and too lately known , Whom I began to think and call my own ; For sure our Souls were near ally'd ; and thine Cast in the same Poetick mould with mine . One common Note on either Lyre did strike , And Knaves and Fools we both abhorr'd alike : To the same Goal did both our Studies drive , The last set out the soonest did arrive . Thus Nisus fell upon the slippery place , While his young Friend perform'd and won the Race . O early ripe ! to thy abundant store What could advancing Age have added more ? It might ( what Nature never gives the young ) Have taught the numbers of thy native Tongue . But Satyr needs not those , and Wit will shine Through the harsh cadence of a rugged line . A noble Error , and but seldom made , When Poets are by too much force betray'd , Thy generous fruits , though gather'd ere their prime Still shew'd a quickness ; and maturing time But mellows what we write to the dull sweets of Rime . Once more , hail and farewel ; farewel thou young , But ah too short , Marcellus of our Tongue ; Thy Brows with Ivy , and with Laurels bound ; But Fate and gloomy Night encompass thee around . JOHN DRYDEN . Authori Epitaphium . HOc , ô Viator , marmore conditae Charae recumbunt Exuviae brevem Viventis ( oh ! sors dura ) vitam , Praecoce coelum animâ petentis . Nec praepedita est Mens celeris diù , Quin Pustularum mille tumoribus Eff●…oruit , portisque mille Praepes iter patefecit altum . Musarum Alumnus jàm fuit , artibus Instructus almis , quas , studio pio , Atque aure quàm fidâ repostas , Oxonij coluit Parentis . Hic quadriennis praemia Filii Dignus recepit , Vellera candida , Collati Honoris signa , necnon Innocui simulacra cordis . Sed manè montis summa cacumina Ascendit ardens , Pierio jugo Insedit , atque errore multo Ipsum Helicona scatere vidit . Nunc pura veri Flumina perspicit , Nunc mira Mundi semina concipit , Pulchrasque primaevi figuras , In speculo species creante . At Tu , Viator , Numina poscito , Ut dissolutis reliquijs , vaga Dùm mens remigret , detur — ah ! su Terra levis , placidusque somnus . On the Death of Mr. John Oldham , A Pindarique Pastoral Ode . Stanza I. UNdoubtedly 't is thy peculiar Fate , Ah , miserable Astragon ! Thou art condemn'd alone To bear the Burthen of a wretched Life , Still in this howling Wilderness to roam , While all thy Bosom-friends unkindly go , And leave thee to lament them here below . Thy dear Alexis would not stay , Joy of thy Life , and Pleasure of thine Eyes , Dear Alexis went away With an invincible Surprize ; Th' Angel-like Youth early dislik'd this State , And chearfully submitted to his Fate . Never did Soul of a Celestial Birth Inform a purer piece of Earth . O that 't were not in vain To wish what 's past might be retriev'd again ! Thy Dotage , thy Alexis , then Had answer'd all thy Vows and Pray'rs , And Crown'd with pregnant Joys thy silver Hairs , Lov'd to this day among the living Sons of Men. II. And thou , my Friend , hast left me too , Menalcas ! poor Menalcas ! even thou , Of whom so loudly Fame has spoke In the Records of her immortal Book , Whose disregarded Worth Ages to come Shall wail with Indignation o'er thy Tomb. Worthy wert thou to live , as long as Vice Should need a Satyr , that the frantick Age Might tremble at the Lash of thy poetick Rage . Th' untutor'd World in after Times May live uncensur'd for their Crimes , Freed from the Dreads of thy reforming Pen , Turn to old Chaos once again . Of all th' instructive Bards , whose more than Theban Lyre . Could savage Souls with manly Thoughts inspire , Menalcas worthy was to live . Say , you his Fellow-Shepherds that survive , Tell me , you mournful Swains , Has my ador'd Menalcas left behind ; In all these pensive Plains A gentler Shepherd with a braver mind : Which of you all did more Majestick Show , Or wore the Garland on a sweeter Brow ? III. — But wayward Astragon resolves no more The Loss of his Menalcas to deplore : The place to which he wisely is withdrawn Is altogether blest ; There no Clouds o'erwhelm his Breast , No Midnight Cares can break his Rest ; For all is everlasting cheerful Dawn . The Poet's Bliss there shall he long possess , Perfect Ease and soft Recess ; The treacherous World no more shall him deceive ; Of Hope and Fortune he has taken Leave : And now in mighty Triumph does he reign , ( His Head adorn'd with Beams of Light ) O'er the unthinking Rabble's Spite , And the dull wealthy Fool 's disdain . Thrice happy he that dies the Muses Friend , He needs no Obelisque , no Pyramid His sacred Dust to hide ; He needs not for his Memory to provide ; For he might well foresee his Praise can never end . Thomas Flatman . In memory of the Author . TAke this short-summon'd loose unfinisht Verse Cold as thy Tomb , and suddainas thy Hears From my sick Thoughts thou canst no better crave , Who scarce drag Life , and envy thee thy Grave . Me Phoebus always faintly did inspire , And gave my narrow Breast more scanty Fire . My Hybla-Muse through humble Meads sought Spoil , Collecting little Sweets with mighty Toil ; Yet when some Friend 's just Fame did Theme afford , Her Voice amongst the tow ' ring Swans was heard . In vain for such Attendance now I call , My Ink o'erflows with Spleen , my Blood with Gall , Yet , sweet Alexis , my Esteem of thee Was equal to thy Worth and Love for me . Death is thy Gain — that Thought affects me most , I care not what th' ill-natur'd World has lost . For Wit with thee expir'd , how shall I grieve ? Who grudge th' ingrateful Age what thou didst leave , The Tribute of their Verse let others send , And mourn the Poet gone , I mourn the Friend . Enjoy thy Fate — thy Predecessors come , Cowley and Butler to conduct thee home . Who would not ( Butler cries ) like me engage New Worlds of Wit to serve a grateful Age ? For such Rewards what Tasks will Authors shun ? I pray , Sir , is my Monument begun ? Enjoy thy Fate , thy Voice in Anthems raise ; So well tun'd here on Earth to our Apollo's Praise : Let me retire , while some sublimer Pen Performs for thee what thou hast done for Homer and for Ben. N. T. On the ensuing Poems of Mr. John Oldham , and the Death of his good Friend the ingenious Author . OBscure and cloudy did the day appear , As Heaven design'd to blot it from the year ; The Elements all seem'd to disagree , At least , I 'm sure , they were at strife in me : Possest with Spleen , which Melancholy bred , When Rumor told me that my Friend was dead , That Oldham honour'd for his early Worth , Was cropt , like a sweet Blossom from the Earth , Where late he grew , delighting every Eye In his rare Garden of Philosophy . The fatal Sound new Sorrows did infuse , And all my Griefs were doubled at the News : For we with mutual Arms of Friendship strove , Friendship the true and solid part of Love ; And he so many Graces had in store , That Fame or Beauty could not bind me more . His Wit in his immortal Verse appears , Many his Vertues were , tho' few his Years ; Which were so spent as if by Heaven contriv'd , To lash the Vices of the longer liv'd . None was more skilful , none more learn'd than he , A Poet in its sacred Quality : Inspir'd above , and could command each Passion , Had all the Wit without the Affectation . A Calm of Nature still possest his Soul , No canker'd Envy did his Breast controul : Modest as Virgins that have never known The jilting Breeding of the nauseous Town ; And easie as his Numbers that sublime His lofty Strains , and beautifie his Rhime , Till the Time's Ignomy inspir'd his Pen , And rowz'd the drowsie Satyr from his Den ; Then fluttering Fops were his Aversion still , And felt the Power of his Satyrick Quill . The Spark whose Noise proclaims his empty Pate , That struts along the Mall with antick Gate ; And all the Phyllis and the Chloris Fools Were damn'd by his invective Muse in Shoals . Who on the Age look'd with impartial Eyes , And aim'd not at the Person , but the Vice. To all true Wit he was a constant Friend , And as he well could judge , could well commend . The mighty Homer he with Care perus'd , And that great Genius to the World infus'd ; Immortal Virgil , and Lucretius too , And all the Seeds o' th' Soul his Reason knew : Like Ovid , could the Ladies Hearts assail , With Horace sing , and lash with Juvenal . Unskill'd in nought that did with Learning dwell , But Pride to know he understood it well . Adieu thou modest Type of perfect Man ; Ah , had not thy Perfections that began In Life's bright Morning been eclips'd so soon , We all had bask'd and wanton'd in thy Noon ; But Fate grew envious of thy growing Fame , And knowing Heav'n from whence thy Genius came , Assign'd thee by immutable Decree A glorious Crown of Immortality , Snatch't thee from all thy mourning Friends below , Just as the Bays were planting on thy Brow. Thus worldly Merit has the Worlds Regard ; But Poets in the next have their Reward ; And Heaven in Oldham's Fortune seem'd to show , No Recompence was good enough below : So to prevent the Worlds ingrateful Crimes , Enrich'd his Mind , and bid him die betimes . T. Durfey . On the Death of Mr. John Oldham . HEark ! is it only my prophetick Fear , Or some Death's sad Alarum that I hear ? By all my Doubts 't is Oldham's fatal Knell ; It rings aloud , eternally farewel : Farewell thou mighty Genius of our Isle , Whose forward Parts made all our Nation smile , In whom both Wit and Knowledge did conspire , And Nature gaz'd as if she did admire How such few years such Learning could acquire : Nay seem'd concern'd that we should hardly find So sharp a Pen , and so serene a Mind . Oh then lament ; let each distracted Breast With universal Sorrow be possest . Mourn , mourn , ye Muses , and your Songs give o'er ; For now your lov'd Adonis is no more . He whom ye tutor'd from his Infant-years , Cold , pale and ghastly as the Grave appears : He whom ye bath'd in your lov'd murmuring Stream , Your daily pleasure , and your mighty Theme Is now no more ; the Youth , the Youth is dead , The mighty Soul of Poetry is fled ; Fled e'er his Worth or Merit was half known ; No sooner seen , but in a Moment gone : Like to some tender Plant , which rear'd with Care , At length becomes most fragrant , and most fair ; Long does it thrive , and long its Pride . maintain , Esteem'd secure from Thunder , Storm or Rain ; Then comes a Blast , and all the Work is vain . But Oh! my Friend , must we no more rehearse Thy equal Numbers in thy pleasing Verse ? In Love how soft , in Satyr how severe ? In Passion moving , and in Rage austere ! Virgil in Judgment , Ovid in Delight , An easie Thought with a Meonian Flight ; Horace in Sweetness , Juvenal in Rage , And even Biblis must each Heart engage ! Just in his Praises , and what most desire , Wou'd flatter none for Greatness , Love or Hire ; Humble , though courted , and what 's rare to see , Of wondrous Worth , yet wondrous Modesty . So far from ostentation he did seem , That he was meanest in his own Esteem . Alas , young man , why wert thou made to be At once our Glory and our Misery ? Our Misery in losing thee is more Than could thy Life our Glory be before : For shou'd a Soul celestial Joys possess , And straight be banish'd from that Happiness , Oh , where would be its Pleasure ? where its ' Gain ? TheBliss once tasted but augments the Pain : So having once so great a Prize in thee , How much the heavier must our Sorrows be ? For if such Flights were in thy younger Days , What if thou'dst liv'd , O what had been thy Praise ? Eternal Wreaths of never-dying Bays : But those are due already to thy Name , Which stands enroll'd in the Records of Fame ; And though thy great Remains to Ashes turn , With lasting Praises we 'll supply thy Urn , Which like Sepulchral Lamps shall ever burn . But hold ! methinks , great Shade , I see thee rove Through the smooth Path of Plenty , Peace and Love ; Where Ben. salutes thee first , o'erjoy'd to see The Youth that sung his Fame and Memory : Great Spencer next , with all the learned Train , Do greet thee in a Panegyrick Strain : Adonis is the Joy of all the Plain . Tho. Andrews . DAMON , an ECLOGUE On the untimely Death of Mr. Oldham . Corydon . Alexis . BEneath a dismal Yew the Shepherds sate , And talk'd of Damon's Muse and Damon's Fate : Their mutual Lamentations gave them Ease ; For sometimes Melancholy it self does please : Like Philomel abandon'd to distress , Yet ev'n their Griefs in Musick they express . Cor. I 'll sing no more since Verses want a Charm , The Muses could not their own Damon arm : At least I 'll touch this useless Pipe no more , Unless , like Orpheus , I could Shades restore . A. Rather , like Orpheus , celebrate your Friend , And with your Musick Hell it self suspend : Tax Proserpine of Cruelty and Hate , And sing of Damon's Muse , and Damon's Fate . C. When Damon sung , he sung with such a Grace , Lord , how the very London-brutes did gaze ! Sharp was his Satyr , nor allay'd with Gall ; 'T was Rage , 't was generous Indignation all . A. Oh had he liv'd , and to Perfection grown , Not like Marcellus , only to be shown ; He would have charm'd their Sence a nobler way , Taught Virgins how to sigh , and Priests to pray . C. Let Priests and Virgins then to him address , And in their Songs their Gratitude express , While we that know the Worth of easie Verse , Secure the Laurel to adorn his Herse . A. Codrus , you know , that sacred Badge does wear , And 't were injurious not to leave it there ; But since no Merit can strike Envy dumb , Do you with Baccar , guard and grace his Tomb. C. While you ( dear Swain ) with unaffected Rhime , Majestick , sad , and suited to the Time , His Name to future Ages consecrate , By praising of his Muse , and mourning of his Fate . A. Alas , I never must pretend to this , My Pipe scarce knows a Tune but what is his : Let future Ages then for Damon's sake , From his own Works a just Idaea take . Yet then , but like Alcides he 'll be shown , And from his meanest part his Size be known . C. 'T will be your Duty then to set it down . A. Once and but once ( so Heav'n and Fate ordain ) I met the gentle Youth upon the Plain , Kindly , cries he , if you Alexis be , And though I know you not you must be he , Too long already we have Strangers been ; This Day , at least , our Friendship must begin . Let Business , that perverse Intruder , wait , To be above it is poetical and great . Then with Assyrian Nard our Heads did shine , While rich Sabaean Spice exalts the Wine ; Which to a just Degree our Spirits fir'd ; But he was by a greater God inspir'd : Wit was the Theme , which he did well describe , With Modesty unusual to his Tribe . But as with ominous Doubts , and aking Heart , When Lovers after first Enjoyment part , Not half content ; for this was but a Taste , And wond'ring how the Minutes flew so fast , They vow a Friendship that shall ever last . So we — but Oh how much am I accurs'd ! To think that this last Office is my first . Occasioned by the present Edition of the ensuing Poems , and the Death of the ingenious Author . CUrs'd be the day when first this goodly Isle Vile Books , and useless thinking did defile . In Greek and Latin-Boggs our Time we waste , When all is Pain and Weariness at best : Mountains of Whims and Doubts we travel o'er , While treacherous Fancy dances on before : Pleas'd with our Danger still we stumble on , To late repent , and are too soon undone . Let Bodley now in its own Ruines lie , By th' common Hangman burnt for Heresie . Avoid the nasty learned Dust , 't will breed More Plagues than ever Jakes or Dunghils did . The want of Dulness will the World undo , 'T is Learning makes us mad and Rebels too . Learning , a Jilt which while we do enjoy , Slily our Rest and Quiet steals away ; That greedily the Blood of Youth receives , And nought but Blindness and a Dotage gives . Worse than the Pox , or scolding Woman fly The awkward Madness of Philosophy . That Bedlam Bess , Religion never more Phantastick pie-ball'd , antick Dresses wore : Opinion , Pride , Moroseness gives a Fame ; 'T is Folly , christen'd with a modish Name . Let dull Divinity no more delight ; It spoils the Man , and makes an Hypocrite . The chief Professors to Preferment fly , By Cringe and Scrape , the basest Simony . The humble Clown will best the Gospel teach , And inspir'd Ign'rance sounder Doctrines preach . A way to Heav'n mere Nature well does shew , Which reasoning and Disputes can never know . Yet still proud Tyrant Sence in Pomp appears , And claims a Tribute of full threescore Years . Sew'd in a Sack , with Darkness circl'd round , Each man must be with Snakes and Monkeys drown'd . Laborious Folly , and compendious Art , To waste that Life whose longest Date 's too short . Laborious Folly , to wind up with Pain What Death unravels soon , and renders vain . We blindly hurry on in mystick ways , Nor wisely tread the Paths of solid Praife . There 's nought deserves one precious drop of sweat , But Poetry , the noblest Gift of Fate , Which after Death does a more lasting Life beget . Not that which suddain , frantick Heats produce , Where Wine and Pride , not Heav'n shall raise the Muse. Not that small Stock which does Translators make ; That Trade poor Bankrupt-Poetasters take : But such , when God his Fiat did express , And powerful Numbers wrought an Universe . With such great David tun'd his charming Lyre , That even Saul and Madness could admire . With such Great Oldham bravely did excell , That David's Lamentation sung so well . Oldham ! the Man that could with Judgment writt , Our Oxford's Glory , and the World's Delight . Sometimes in boundless keenest Satyr bold , Sometimes a soft as those Love-tales he told . That Vice could praise , and Vertue too disgrace ; The first Excess of Wit that e'er did please . Scarce Cowley such Pindarique soaring knew , Yet by his Reader still was kept in view . His Fancy , like Jove's Eagle liv'd above , And bearing Thunder still would upward move . Oh Noble Kingston ! had thy lovely Guest With a large stock of Youth and Life been Blest ; Not all thy Greatness , and thy Vertues store Had surer Comforts been , or pleased thee more . But Oh! the date is short of mighty Worth , And Angels never tarry long on Earth . His soul , the bright , the pure Etherial Flame To those lov'd Regions flew , from whence it came . And spight of what Mankind had long believ'd , My Creed says only Poets can be sav'd . That God has only for a number staid , To stop the breach , which Rebel Angels made For none their absence can so well supply ; They are all o're Seraphick Harmony . Then , and not that till then the World shall burn And its base Dross , Mankind their fortune mourn , While all to their old nothing quick return . The peevish Gritick then shall be asham'd , And for his Sins of Vanity be damn'd . Oxon , May the 26th . 1684. T. Wood. CONTENTS . COunterpart to the Satyr against Vertue , Page 1 Virg. Eclogue VIII . The Enchantment 13 To Madam L. E. upon her Recovery from a fit of Sickness 22 On the Death of Mrs. Katharine Kingscourt , a Child of excellent Parts and Piety 31 A Sunday-thought in Sickness 34 To the Memory of Mr. Charles Morwent 49 To the Memory of that worthy Gentleman Mr. Harman Atwood . 95 Character of a certain ugly Old P — 111 COUNTERPART TO THE SATYR against VERTUE . In Person of the Author . I. PArdon me , Vertue , whatsoe'er thou art , ( For sure thou of the God-head art a part , And all that is of him must be The very Deity . ) Pardon , if I in ought did thee blaspheme , Or injure thy pure Sacred Name : Accept unfeign'd Repentance , Prayers and Vows , The best Atonement of my penitent humble Muse , The best that Heav'n requires , or Mankind can produce . All my Attempts hereafter shall at thy Devotion be , Ready to consecrate my Ink and very Blood to thee . Forgive me , ye blest Souls that dwell above , Where you by its reward the worth of Vertue prove . Forgive ( if you can do 't ) who know no Passion now but Love. And you unhappy happy few , Who strive with Life , and Humane Miseries below , Forgive me too , If I in ought disparag'd them , or else discourag'd you . II. Blest Vertue ! whose Almighty Power Does to our fallen Race restore All that in Paradise we lost , and more , Lifts us to Heaven , and makes us be The Heirs and Image of the Deity . Soft gentle Yoak ! which none but resty Fools refuse , Which before Freedom I would ever chuse . Easie are all the Bonds that are impos'd by thee ; Easie as those of Lovers are , ( If I with ought less pure may thee compare ) Nor do they force , but only guide our Liberty : By such soft Ties are Spirits above confin'd ; So gentle is the Chain which them to Good does bind . Sure Card , whereby this frail and tott'ring Bark we steer Thro' Life's tempestuous Ocean here ; Thro' all the tossing Waves of Fear , And dangerous Rocks of black Despair . Safe in thy Conduct unconcern'd we move , Secure from all the threatning Storms that blow , From all Attacks of Chance below , And reach the certain Haven of Felicity above . III. Best Mistress of our Souls ! whose Charms and Beauties last , And are by very Age encreast , By which all other Glories are defac'd . Thou' rt thy own Dowry , and a greater far Than All the Race of Woman-kind e'er brought , Tho' each of them like the first Wife were fraught , And half the Universe did for her Portion share . That tawdry Sex , which giddy senseless we Thro' Ignorance so vainly Deifie , Are all but glorious Brutes when un-endow'd with thee . 'T is Vice alone , the truer Jilt , and worse , In whose Enjoyment tho' we find A flitting Pleasure , yet it leaves behind A Pain and Torture in the Mind , And claps the wounded Conscience with incurable Remorse , Or else betrays us to the great Trepans of Humane Kind . IV. 'T is Vice , the greater Thraldom , harder Drudgery , Whereby deposing Reason from its gentle Sway , ( That rightful Sovereign which we should obey ) We undergo a various Tyranny , And to un-number'd servile Passions Homage pay . These with AEgyptian Rigor us enslave , And govern with unlimited Command ; They make us endless Toil pursue , And still their doubled Tasks renew , To push on our too hasty Fate , and build our Grave , Or which is worse , to keep us from the Promis'd Land. Nor may we think our Freedom to retrieve , We struggle with our heavy Yoak in vain : In vain we strive to break that Chain , Unless a Miracle relieve ; Unless th' Almighty Wand enlargement give , We never must expect Delivery , Till Death , the universal Writ of Ease , does set us free . V. Some sordid Avarice in Vassallage confines , Like Roman Slaves condemn'd to th' Mimes ; These are in its harsh Bridewel lash'd and punished , And with hard Labour scarce can earn their Bread. Others Ambition , that Imperious Dame , Exposes cruelly , like Gladiators , here Upon the World's Great Theatre . Thro' Dangers and thro' Blood they wade to Fame , To purchase grinning Honor and an empty Name . And some by Tyrant-Lust are Captive led , And with false Hopes of Pleasure fed ; 'Till tir'd with Slavery to their own Desires , Life's o'er-charg'd Lamp goes out , and in a Snuff expires . VI. Consider we the little Arts of Vice , The Stratagems and Artifice Whereby she does attract her Votaries : All those Allurements and those Charms Which pimp Transgressors to her Arms , Are but foul Paint , and counterfeit Disguise , To palliate her own conceal'd Deformities , And for false empty Joys betray us to true solid Harms . In vain she would her Dowry boast , Which clog'd with Legacies we never gain , But with unvaluable Cost ; Which got we never can retain ; But must the greatest part be lost , To the great Bubbles , Age or Chance , again . 'T is vastly over-balanc'd by the Joynture which we make , In which our Lives , our Souls , our All is set at Stake , Like silly Indians , foolish we With a known Cheat , a losing Traffick hold , Whilst led by an ill-judging Eye , W' admire a trifling Pageantry , And merchandize our Jewels and our Gold , For worthless Glass and Beads , or an Exchange's Frippery . If we a while maintain th' expensive Trade , Such mighty Impost on the Cargo's laid , Such a vast Custom to be paid , We 're forc'd at last like wretched Bankrupts to give out , Clapt up by Death , and in Eternal Durance shut . VII . What art thou , Fame , for which so eagerly we strive ? What art thou but an empty Shade By the Reflection of our Actions made ? Thou , unlike others , never follow'st us alive ; But , like a Ghost , walk'st only after we are dead . Posthumous Toy ! vain aster-Legacy ! Which only ours can be , When we our selves no more are we ! Fickle as vain ! who dost on vulgar Breath depend , Which we by dear Experience find More changeable , more veering than th' unconstant Wind. What art thou , Gold , that cheat'st the Miser's Eyes ? Which he does so devoutly idolize ; For whom he all his Rest and Ease does sacrifice . 'T is Use alone can all thy Value give , And he from that no Benefit can e'er receive . Curst Mineral ! near Neighb'ring Hell begot , Which all th' Infection of thy damned Neighbourhood hast brought . Thou Bawd to Murthers , Rapes and Treachery , And every greater Name of Villany ; From thee they all derive their Stock and Pedigree . Thou the lewd World with all its crying Crimes dost store , And hardly wilt allow the Devil the cause of more . And what is Pleasure which does most beguile ? That Syren which betrays us with a flattering Smile . We listen to the treacherous Harmony , Which sings but our own Obsequy . The Danger unperceiv'd till Death draw nigh ; Till drowning we want Pow'r to 'scape the fatal Enemy . VIII . How frantick is the wanton Epicure ! Who a perpetual Surfeit will endure ? Who places all his chiefest Happiness In the Extravagancies of Excess , Which wise Sobriety esteems but a Disease ? O mighty envied Happiness to eat ! Which fond mistaken Sots call Great ! Poor Frailty of our Flesh ! which we each day Must thus repair for fear of ruinous Decay ! Degrading of our Nature , where vile Brutes are fain To make and keep up Man ! Which , when the Paradise above we gain , Heav'n thinks too great an Imperfection to retain ! By each Disease the sickly Joy's destroy'd ; At every Meal it 's nauseous and cloy'd , Empty at best , as when in Dream enjoy'd ; When , cheated by a slumbering Imposture , we Fancy a Feast , and great Regalio's by ; And think we taste , and think we see , And riot on imaginary Luxury . IX . Grant me , O Vertue , thy more solid lasting Joy ; Grant me the better Pleasures of the Mind , Pleasures , which only in pursuit of thee we find , Which Fortune cannot marr , nor Chance destroy . One Moment in thy blest Enjoyment is Worth an Eternity of that tumultuous Bliss , Which we derive from Sense , Which often cloys , and must resign to Impotence . Grant me but this , how will I triumph in my happy State ? Above the Changes and Reverse of Fate ; Above her Favors and her Hate . I 'll scorn the worthless Treasures of Peru , And those of t' other Indies too . I 'll pity Caesar's Self with all his Trophies and his Fame , And the vile brutish Herd of Epicures contemn , And all the Under-shrievalties of Life not worth a Name . Nor will I only owe my Bliss , Like others , to a Multitude , Where Company keeps up a forced Happiness ; Should all Mankind surcease to live , And none but individual I survive , Alone I would be happy , and enjoy my Solitude . Thus shall my Life in pleasant Minutes wear , Calm as the Minutes of the Evening are , And gentle as the motions of the upper Air ; Soft as my Muse , and unconfin'd as she , When flowing in the Numbers of Pindarique Liberty . And when I see pale gastly Death appear , That grand inevitable Test which all must bear , Which best distinguishes the blest and wretched here ; I 'll smile at all it Horrors , court my welcome Destiny , And yield my willing Soul up in an eafie Sigh ; And Epicures that see shall envy and confess , That I , and those who dare like me be good , the chiefest Good possess . Virg. ECLOGUE VIII . The Enchantment . Poet , Damon , Alpheus , Speakers . DAmon and Alpheus , the two Shepherds Strains I mean to tell , and how they charm'd the Plains . I 'll tell their charming Numbers which the Herd , Unmindful of their Grass , in Throngs admir'd . At which fierce Savages astonish'd stood , And every River stopt its list'ning Flood . For you , Great Sir , whether with Cannons Roar You spread your Terror to the Holland Shore , Or with a gentle and a steady Hand In Peace and Plenty rule your Native Land. Shall ever that auspicious Day appear , When I your glorious Actions shall declare ? It shall , and I throughout the World rehearse Their Fame , fit only for a Spencer's Verse . With you my Muse began , with you shall end : Accept my Verse that waits on your Command ; And deign this Ivy Wreath a place may find Amongst the Laurels which your Temples bind . 'T was at the time that Night 's cool shades withdrew , And left the Grass all hung with Pearly Dew ; When Damon , leaning on his Oaken Wand , Thus to his Pipe in gentle Lays complain'd . D. Arise , thou Morning , and drive on the Day , While wretched I with fruitless words inveigh Against false Nisa , while the Gods I call With my last Breath , tho' hopeless to avail , Tho' they regard not my Complaints at all . Strike up my Pipe , play me in tuneful Strains What I heard sung on the Maenalian Plains . Maenalus ever has its warbling Groves , And talking Pines , it ever hears the Loves Of Shepherds , and the Notes of Mighty Pan , The first that would not let the Reeds untun'd remain . Strike up my Pipe , play me in tuneful Strains What I heard sung on the Maenalian Plains . Mopsus weds Nisa , Gods ! what Lover e'er Need after this have reason to despair ? Griffins shall now leap Mares , and the next Age The Deer and Hounds in Friendship shall engage . Go , Mopsus , get the Torches ready soon ; Thou , happy Man , must have the Bride anon . Go , Bridegroom , quickly , the Nut-scramble make , The Evening-star quits Oeta for thy sake . Strike up my Pipe , play me in tuneful Strains What I heard sung on the Maenalian Plains . How fitly art thou match'd who wast so nice ! Thou haughty Nymph who did'st all else despise ! Who slight'st so scornfully my Pipe , my Herd , My rough-grown Eye-brows , and unshaven Beard , And think'st no God does mortal things regard . Strike up my Pipe , play me in tuneful Strains What I heard sung on the Maenalian Plains . I saw thee young , and in thy Beauty 's Bloom , To gather Apples with thy Mother , come , 'T was in our Hedge-rows , I was there with Pride , To shew you to the best , and be your Guide . Then I just entring my twelfth Year was found , I then could reach the tender Boughs from Ground . Heav'ns ! when I saw , how soon was I undone ! How to my Heart did the quick Poyson run ! Strike up my Pipe , play me in tuneful Strains What I heard sung on the Maenalian Plains . Now I 'm convinc'd what Love is ; the cold North Sure in its craggy Mountains brought him forth , Or Africk's wildest Desarts gave him Birth , Amongst the Cannibals and Savage Race ; He never of our Kind , or Countrey was . Strike up my Pipe , play me in tuneful Strains What I heard sung on the Maenalian Plains . Dire Love did once a Mother's Hand embrue In Childrens Blood ; a cruel Mother , thou ; Hard 't is to say of both which is the worst , The cruel Mother , or the Boy accurst . He a curst Boy , a cruel Mother thou ; The Devil a whit to chuse betwixt the two . Strike up my Pipe , play me in tuneful Strains What I heard sung on the Maenalian Plains . Let Wolves by Nature shun the Sheep-folds now : On the rough Oaks let Oranges now grow : Let the coarse Alders bear the Daffadill , And costly Amber from the Thorn distill : Let Owls match Swans , let Tyt'rus Orpheus be , In the Woods Orpheus , and Arion on the Sea. Strike up my Pipe , play me in tuneful Strains What I heard sung on the Maenalian Plains . Let all the World turn Sea , ye Woods adieu ! To some high Mountain's top I 'll get me now , And thence my self into the Waters throw . There quench my Flames , and let the cruel She Accept this my last dying Will and Legacy . Cease now my Pipe , cease now those warbling Strains Which I heard sung on the Maenalian Plains . This Damon's Song ; relate ye Muses now Alpheus Reply : All cannot all things do . A. Bring Holy Water , sprinkle all around , And see these Altars with soft Fillets bound : Male-Frankincense , and juicy Vervain burn , I 'll try if I by Magick Force can turn here . My stubborn Love : I 'll try if I can fire His frozen Breast : Nothing but Charms are wanting Bring Daphnis from the Town , ye Magick Charms ; Bring home lov'd Daphnis to my longing Arms. Charms in her wonted Course can stop the Moon , And from her well-fix'd Orb can call her down . By Charms the mighty Circe ( we are told ) Ulysses fam'd Companions chang'd of old . Snakes by the Vertue of Enchantment forc'd , Oft in the Meads with their own Poyson burst . Bring Daphnis from the Town , ye Magick Charms , Bring home lov'd Daphnis to my longing Arms. First , these three several Threads I compass round Thy Image , thus in Magick Fetters bound : Then round these Altars thrice thy Image bear : Odd Numbers to the Gods delightful are . Bring Daphnis from the Town , ye Magick Charms , Bring home lov'd Daphnis to my longing Arms. Go tie me in three knots three Ribands now , And let the Ribands be of diffrent Hue : Go , Amaryllis , tie them strait , and cry , At the same time , " They 're true-love-knots , I tie . Bring Daphnis from the Town , ye Magick Charms , Bring home lov'd Daphnis to my longing Arms. Look how this Clay grows harder , and look how With the same Fire this Wax doth softer grow ; So Daphnis , let him with my Love do so . Strow Meal and Salt ( for so these Rites require ) And set the crackling Laurel Boughs on fire : This naughty Daphnis sets my Brest on flame , And I this Laurel burn in Daphnis's Name . Bring Daphnis from the Town , ye Magick Charms , Bring home lov'd Daphnis to my longing Atms. As a poor Heifer , wearied in the Chase , Of seeking her lov'd Steer from place to place . Through Woods , through Groves , through Arable , and Wast , On some green River's bank lies down at last . There Lows her Moan , despairing , and forlorn , And , tho' belated , minds not to return : Let Daphnis's Case be such , and let not me Take any care to give a Remedy . Bring Daphnis from the Town , ye magick Charms , Bring home lov'd Daphnis to my longing Arms. These Garments erst the faithless Traitour left , Dear Pledges of his Love , of which I 'me reft : Beneath the Threshold these I bury now , In thee , O Earth ; these Pledges Daphnis owe. Bring Daphnis from the Town , ye Magick Charms , Bring home lov'd Daphnis to my longing Arms. Of Maeris I these Herbs and Poysons had , From Pontus brought : in Pontus store are bred : With these I 've oft seen Maeris Wonders do , Turn himself Wolf , and to the Forest go : I 've often seen him Fields of Corn displace , From whence they grew , and Ghosts in Church-yards raise . Bring Daphnis from the Town , ye Magick Charms , Bring home lov'd Daphnis to my longing Arms. Go , Maid , go , bear the Ashes out at door , And then forthwith into the neighb'ring current pour , Over thy Head , and don 't look back be sure : I 'll try , what these on Daphnis will prevail , The Gods he minds not , nor my Charms at all . Bring Daphnis from the Town , ye Magick Charms , Bring home lov'd Daphnis to my longing Arms. Behold ! the Ashes while we lingring stay , While we neglect to carry them away , Have reach'd the Altar , and have fir'd the Wood , That lyes upon 't : Heav'n send it be for good ! Something I know not what 's the matter : Hark! I hear our Lightfoot in the Entry bark . Shall I believe , or is it only Dream , Which Lovers fancies are too apt to frame ? Cease now ye Magick Charms , behold him come ! Cease needless Charms , my Daphnis is at home ! To Madam L. E. upon her Recovery from a late Sickness . Madam , PArdon , that with slow Gladness we so late Your wish'd return of Health congratulate : Our Joys at first so throng'd to get abroad , They hinder'd one another in the crowd ; And now such haste to tell their Message make , They only stammer what they meant to speak . You the fair Subject which I am to sing , To whose kind Hands this humble joy I bring : Aid me , I beg , while I this Theme pursue , For I invoke no other Muse but you . Long time had you here brightly shone below With all the Rays kind Heaven could bestow . No envious Cloud e're offer'd to invade Your Lustre , or compel it to a Shade : Nor did it yet by any Sign appear , But that you thoroughout Immortal were . Till Heaven ( if Heaven could prove so cruel ) sent To interrupt the Growth of your content . As if it grudg'd those Gifts you did enjoy , And would that Bounty which it gave , destroy : 'T was since your Excellence did envy move In those high Powers and made them jealous prove . They thought these Glories should they still have shin'd Unsullied , were too much for Woman-kind . Which might they write as lasting , as they 're Fair , Too great for ought , but Deities appear : But Heaven ( it may be ) was not yet compleat , And lackt you there to fill your empty Seat. And when it could not fairly woo you hence , Turn'd Ravisher , and offer'd Violence . Sickness did first a formal siege begin , And by sure slowness tryed your Life to win . As if by lingring methods Heaven meant To chase you hence and tire you to consent . But , this in vain , Fate did to force resort , And next by Storm shove to attack the fort . A Sleep , dull as your last , did you Arrest , And all there Magazines of life possest . No more the Blood its circling course did run , But in the veins , like Isicles , it hung . No more the Heart ( now void of quickning heat ) The tuneful March of vital Motion beat . Stiffness did into all the Sinews climb , And a short Death crept cold through every Limb. All Signs of Life from sight so far withdrew , 'T was now thought Popery to pray for you . There might you ( were not that sense lost ) have seen How your true Death would have resented been : A Lethargy , like yours , each breast did seize , And all by Sympathy catcht your Disease . Around you silent Imagery appears , And nought in the Spectators moves , but Tears . They pay what grief were to your Funeral due , And yet dare hope Heaven would your Life renew . Mean while , all means , all drugs prescribed are , Which the decays of Health , or Strength repair , Medicines so powerful they new Souls would save , And Life in long-dead Carcasses retrieve : But these in vain , they rougher Methods try , And now your'e Martyr'd that you may not die ; Sad Scene of Fate ! when Tortures were your gain : And t was a kindness thought to wish you pain ! As if the slackned string of Life run down , Could only by the Rack be screwed in tune . But Heav'n at last ( grown conscious that its pow'r Could scarce what was to die with you restore . ) And loth to see such Glories over-come , Sent a post Angel to repeal your doom ; Strait Fate obey'd the Charge which Heaven sent , And gave this first dear Proof , it could Repent : Triumphant Charms ! what may not you subdue , When Fate 's your Slave , and thus submits to you ! It now again the new-broke Thread does knit , And for another Clew her spindle fit : And life 's hid spark which did unquencht remain , Caught the fled light and brought it back again : Thus you reviv'd , and all our Joy with you , Reviv'd and found their Resurrection too : Some only griev'd , that what was Deathless thought They saw so near to Fatal ruin brought : Now crowds of Blessings on that happy hand , Whose , kill could cager Destiny withstand ; Whose learned Pow'r has rescu'd from the Grave , That Life which 't was a Miracle to save ; That Life which were it thus untimely lost , Had been the ●…est Spoil Death ere could boast : May he henceforth be God of healing thought , By whom such good to you and us was brought : Altars and shrines to him are justly due , Who shew'd himself a God by raising you : But say , fair Saint , for you alone can know , Whither your Soul in this short flight did go ; Went it to antedate that Happiness , You must at last ( though late we hope ) possess ? Inform us lest we should your Fate belye , And call that Death which was but Extasie , The Queen of Love ( we 're told ) once let us see : That Goddesses from wounds could not be free ; And you by this unwish'd Occasion show That they like Mortal us can Sickness know : Pitty ! that Heav'n should all its Titles give , And yet not let you with them ever live . You 'd lack no point that makes a Deity , If you could like it too Immortal be . And so you are ; half boasts a Deathless State ; Although your frailer part must yield to Fate . By every breach in that fair lodging made , Its blest Inhabitant is more displaid : In that white Snow which overspreads your skin , We trace ye whiter Soul which dwells within ; Which while you through this shining Hue display Looks like a Star plac'd in the Milky way : Such the bright Bodies of the Blessed are , When they for Raiment cloath'd with Light appear , And should you visit now the Seats of Bliss , You need not wear another form but this . Never did Sickness in such pomp appear , As when it thus your Livery did wear , Disease it self look'd amiable here . So Clouds which would obscure the Sun oft gilded be , And Shades are taught to shine as bright as he . Grieve not fair Nymph , when in your Glass you trace The marring footsteps of a pale Disease . Regret not that your cheeks their Roses want , Which a few Days shall in full store replant , Which , whilst your Blood withdraws its guilty Red , Tells that you own no faults that blushes need : The Sun whose Bounty does each Spring restore What Winter from the rifled Meadows tore , Which every Morning with an early ray Paints the young Blushing Cheeks of instant Day : Whose skill ( inimitable here below , ) Limns those gay Clouds which form Heaven 's colour'd bow , That Sun shall soon with Interest repay , All the lost Beauty Sickness snatch'd a way . Your Beams like his shall hourly now advance , And every minute their swift Growth enhance . Mean while ( that you no helps of healths refuse ) Accept these humble Wishes of the Muse : Which shall not of their Just Petition fail , If she ( and she's a Goddess ) ought prevail . May no profane Disease henceforth approach , This sacred Temple with unhallow'd touch , Or with rude sacriledge its frame debauch . May these fair Members always happy be In as full Strength and well-set Harmony , As the new Foundress of your sex could boast , Ere she by Sin her first Persecution lost : May Destiny , just to your Merits , twine , All your smooth Fortunes in a Silken Line . And that you may at Heaven late arrive , May it to you its largest Bottom give . May Heaven with still repeated Favours bless , Till it its Pow'r below its Will confess ; Till wishes can no more exalt your Fate , Nor Poets fancy you more Fortunate . On the Death of Mrs. Katharine Kingscourt a Child of Excellent Parts and Piety . SHE did , She did — I saw her mount the Skie , And with new Whiteness paint the Galaxy . Heav'n her methought with all its Eyes did view , And yet acknowledg'd all its Eyes too few . Methought I saw in crowds blest Spirits meet , And with loud Welcomes her arrival greet ; Which could they grieve , had gone with grief away To see a Soul more white , more pure than they . Earth was unworthy such a prize as this , Only a while Heaven let us share the Bliss : In vain her stay with fruitless Tears we 'd woo , In vain we'd court , when that our Rival grew . Thanks , ye kind Powers ! who did so long dispense , ( Since you so wish'd her ) with her absence thence : We now resign , to you alone we grant The sweet Monopoly of such a Saint ; So pure a Saint , I scarce dare call her so , For fear to wrong her with a Name too low : Such a Seraphick brightness in her shin'd , I hardly can believe her Woman-kind . 'T was sure some noble Being left the Sphere , Which deign'd a little to inhabit here , And can't be said to die , but disappear . Or if she Mortal was and meant to show The greater skill by being made below ; Sure Heav'n preserv'd her by the fall uncurst , To tell how all the Sex were form'd at first : Never did yet so much Divinity In such a small Compendium crouded lye . By her we credit what the Learned tell , That many Angels in one point can dwell . More damned Fiends did not in Mary rest , Than lodg'd of Blessed Spirits in her Breast ; Religion dawn'd so early in her mind , You 'd think her Saint whilst in the Womb enshrin'd : Nay , that bright ray which did her Temples paint , Proclaim'd her clearly , while alive , a Saint . Scarce had she learnt to lisp Religion's Name , E'er she by her Example preach'd the same , And taught her Cradle-like the Pulpit to reclaim . No Action did within her Practice fall Which for th' Atonement of a Blush could call : No word of hers e'er greeted any Ear , But what a dying Saint confest might hear . Her Thoughts had scarcely ever sully'd been By the least Foot-steps of Original Sin. Her Life did still as much Devotion breath As others do at their last Gasp in Death . Hence on her Tomb of her let not be said , So long she liv'd ; but thus , so long she pray'd . A Sunday-Thought in Sickness . LOrd , how dreadful is the Prospect of Death at the remotest Distance ! How the smallest Apprehension of it can pall the most gay , airy and brisk Spirits ! Even I , who thought I could have been merry in sight of my Coffin , and drink a Health with the Sexton in my own Grave , now tremble at the least Envoy of the King of Terrors . To see but the shaking of my Glass makes me turn pale , and fear is like to prevent and do the Work of my Distemper . All the Jollity of my Humor and Conversation is turn'd on a suddain into shagrin and melancholy , black as Despair , and dark as the Grave . My Soul and Body seem at once laid out , and I fancy all the Plummets of Eternal Night already hanging upon my Temples . But whence proceed these Fears ? Certainly they are not idle Dreams , nor the accidental Product of my Disease , which disorders the Brains , and fills 'em with odd Chimaera's . Why should my Soul be averse to its Enlargement ? Why should it be content to be knit up in two Yards of Skin , when it may have all the World for its Purliew ? 'T is not that I 'm unwilling to leave my Relations and present Friends : I 'm parted from the first already , and could be sever'd from both the length of the whole Map , and live with my Body as far distant from them as my Soul must when I 'm dead . Neither is it that I 'm loth to leave the Delights and Pleasures of the World ; some of them I have tried , and found empty , the others covet not , because unknown . I 'm confident I could despise 'em all by a Greatness of Soul , did not the Bible oblige me , and Divines tell me , 't is my Duty . It is not neither that I 'm unwilling to go hence before I 've establish'd a Reputation , and something to make me survive my self . I could have been content to be Still-born , and have no more than the Register , or Sexton to tell that I 've ever been in the Land of the Living . In Fine , 't is not from a Principle of Cowardise , which the Schools have called Self-preservation , the poor Effect of Instinct and dull pretence of a Brute as well as me . This Unwillingness therefore , and Aversion to undergo the general Fate , must have a juster Original , and flow from a more important Cause . I 'm well satisfied that this other Being within , that moves and actuates my Frame of Flesh and Blood , has a Life beyond it and the Grave ; and something in it prompts me to believe its immortality . A Residence it must have somewhere else , when it has left this Carcase , and another State to pass into , unchangeable and everlasting as it self after its Separation . This Condition must be good or bad according to its Actions and Deserts in this Life ; for as it ows its Being to some Infinite Power that created it , I well suppose it his Vassal , and oblig'd to live by his Law ; and as certainly conclude , that according to the keeping or breaking of that Law , 't is to be rewarded or punish'd hereafter . This Diversity of Rewards and Punishments , makes the two Places , Heaven and Hell , so often mention'd in Scripture , and talk'd of in Pulpits : Of the later my Fears too cruelly convince me , and the Anticipation of its Torment , which I already feel in my own Conscience . There is , there is a Hell , and damned Fiends , and a never-dying Worm , and that Sceptick that doubts of it , may find 'em all within my single Breast . I dare not any longer with the Atheist disbelieve them , or think 'em the Clergy's Bugbears , invented as Nurses do frightful Names for their Children , to scare 'em into Quietness and Obedience . How oft have I triumph'd in my unconcern'd , and sear'd insensibility ? How oft boasted of that unhappy suspected Calm , which , like that of the dead Sea , prov'd only my Curse , and 〈◊〉 treacherous Ambush to those Storms , which at presenc ( and will for ever 〈◊〉 dread ) shipwrack my Quiet and Hopes ▪ How oft have I rejected the Advice of that Bosom-friend , and drown'd its Alarms in the Noise of a tumultuous Debauch , or by stupifying Wine ( like some condemn'd Malefactor ) arm'd my self against the Apprehensions of my certain Doom ? Now , now the Tyrant awakes , and comes to pay at once all Arrears of Cruelty . At last , but too late ( like drowning Mariners ) I see the gay Monsters , which inveigled me into my Death and Destruction . Oh the gnawing Remorse of a rash unguarded , unconsidering Sinner ! Oh how the Ghosts of former Crimes affright my haunted Imagination , and make me suffer a thousand Racks and Martyrdoms ! I see , methinks , the Jaws of Destruction gaping wide to swallow me ; and I , ( like one sliding on Ice ) tho' I see the Danger , cannot stop from running into it . My Fancy represents to me a whole Legion of Devils , ready to tear me in pieces , numberless as my Sins or Fears ; and whither , Alass ! whither shall I fly for Refuge ? Where shall I retreat and take Sanctuary ? Shall I call the Rocks and Mountains to cover me , or bid the Earth yawn wide to its Center , and take me in ? Poor shift of escaping Almighty Justice ! Distracting Frenzy ! that would make me believe Contradictions , and hope to fly out of the Reach of him whose Presence is every where , not excluded Hell it self ; for he 's there in the Effects of his Vengeance . Shall I invoke some Power infinite as that that created me , to reduce me to nothing again , and rid me at once of my Being and all that tortures it ? Oh no , 't is in vain , I must be forc'd into Being , to keep me fresh for Torment , and retain Sense only to feel Pain . I must be a dying to all Eternity , and live ever , to live ever wretched . Oh that Nature had plac'd me in the Rank of things that have only a bare Existence , or at best an Animal Life , and never given me a Soul and Reason , which now must contribute to my Misery , and make me envy Brutes and Vegetables ! Would the Womb that bare me had been my Prison till now , or I step'd out of it into my Grave , and sav'd the Expences and Toil of a long and tedious Journey , where Life affords nothing of Accommodations to invite one's Stay. Happy had I been if had expir'd with my first Breath , and enter'd the Bill of Mortality as soon as the World : Happy if I had been drown'd in my Font , and that Water which was to regenerate , and give me New Life , had prov'd mortal in another sence ! I had then died without any Guilt of my own but what I brought into the World with me , and that too atton'd for ; I mean that which I contracted from my first Parents , my unhappiness rather than Fault , inasmuch as I was fain to be born of a sinning Race : Then I had never enhaunc'd it with acquir'd Guilt , never added those innumerable Crimes which must make up my Indictment at the grand Audit. Ungrateful Wretch ! I 've made my Sins as numerous as those Blessings and Mercies the Almighty Bounty has conferr'd upon me , to oblige and lead me to Repentance . How have I abus'd and misimployed those Parts and Talents which might have render'd me serviceable to Mankind , and repaid an interest of Glory to their Donor ? How ill do they turn to account which I have made the Patrons of Debauchery , and Pimps and Panders to Vice ? How oft have I broke my Vows to my Great Creator , which I would be conscientious of keeping to a silly Woman , a Creature beneath my self ? What has all my Religion been but an empty Parade and shew ? Either an useful Hypocrisie taken up for Interest , or a gay specious Formality worn in Complaisance to Custom and the Mode , and as changeable as my Cloths and their Fashion . How oft have I gone to Church ( the place where we are to pay him Homage and Duty ) as to an Assignation or Play , only for Diversion ; or at best , as I must e'er long ( for ought I know ) with my Soul sever'd from my Body ? How I tremble at the Remembrance ! as if I could put the sham upon Heaven , or a God were to be impos'd on like my Fellow-Creature : And dare I , convicted of these High Treasons against the King of Glory , dare I expect a Reprieve or Pardon ? Has he Thunder , and are not all his Bolts levell'd at my Head , to strike me through the very Center ? Yes , I dare appeal to thee , boundless pity and compassion ! My own Instances already tells me , that thy Mercy is infinite ; for I 've done enough to shock Long-sufferance it self , and weary out an Eternal Patience . I beseech thee by thy soft and gentle Attributes of Mercy and Forgiveness , by the last dying Accents of my suffering Deity , have Pity on a poor , humble , prostrate and confessing Sinner : And thou great Ransom of lost Mankind , who offered'st thy self a Sacrifice to attone our Guilt , and redeem our mortgag'd Happiness , do thou be my Advocate , and intercede for me with the angry Judge . My Pray'rs are heard , a glorious Light now shone , And ( lo ! ) an Angel-Post comes hast'ning down : From Heav'n I see him cut the yielding Air ; So swift , he seems at once both there and here ; So quick , my sight in the pursuit was slow , And Thought could scarce so soon the Journey go . No angry Message in his Look appears , His Face no signs of threatning Vengeance wears . Comly his shape , of Heavenly Meen and Air , Kinder than Smiles of beauteous Virginsare . Such he was seen by the blest Maid of Old When he th' Almighty Infant 's Birth foretold . A mighty Volume in one hand is born , Whose open'd Leaves the other seems to turn : Vast Annals of my Sins in Scarlet writ , But now ●…as'd , blot out , and cancell'd quite . Heark how the Heavenly Whisper strikes mine Ear , Mortal , behold thy Crimes all pardon'd here ! Hail Sacred Envoy of th' Eternal King ! Welcom as the blest Tidings thou dost bring . Welcom as Heav'n from whence thou cam'st but now , Thus low to thy great God and mine I bow , And might I here , O might I ever grow , Fix'd an unmov'd and endless Monument Of Gratitude to my Creator sent . TO THE MEMORY OF Mr. CHARLES MORWENT . A PINDARIQUE . Ignis utique quo clariùs effulsit , citiùs extinguitur , eripit se aufertque ex oculis subitò perfecta virtus : quicquid est absoluti faciliùs transfluit , & optimi neutiquam diurnant . Cambden . de Phil. Syd . O celeres hominum bonorum dies . Apul. LONDON , Printed in the Year , 1684. To the Memory of my Dear Friend , Mr. Charles Morwent : A PINDARIQUE . Ostendunt terris hunc tantùm fata , nec ultrà Esse sinunt . — Virg. I. BEst Friend ! could my unbounded Grief but rate With due proportion thy too cruel Fate ; Could I some happy Miracle bring forth , Great as my Wishes and thy greater Worth , All Helicon should soon be thine , And pay a Tribute to thy Shrine . The learned Sisters all transform'd should be , No longer nine , but one Melpomene : Each should into a Niobe relent , At once thy Mourner and thy Monument . Each should become Like the fam'd Memnon's speaking Tomb , To sing thy well-tun'd Praise ; Nor should we fear their being dumb , Thou still would'st make 'em vocal with thy Rays . II. O that I could distil my vital Juice in Tears ! Or waste away my Soul in sobbing Airs ! Were I all Eyes , To flow in liquid Elegies : That every Limb might grieve , And dying Sorrow still retrieve ; My Life should be but one long mourning day , And like moist Vapors melt in Tears away . I 'd soon dissolve in one great Sigh , And upwards fly , Glad so to be exhal'd to Heav'n and thee . A Sigh which might well-nigh reverse thy death , And hope to animate thee with new Breath ; Pow'rful as that which heretofore did give A Soul to well-form'd Clay , and made it live . III. Adieu , blest Soul ! whose hasty Flight away Tells Heaven did ne'er display Such Happiness to bless the World with stay . Death in thy Fall betray'd her utmost spice , And shew'd her shafts most times are levell'd at the white . She saw thy blooming Ripeness time prevent ; She saw , and envious grew , and straight her arrow sent . So Buds appearing e'er the Frosts are past , Nip'd by some unkind Blast , Wither in Penance for their forward haste . Thus have I seen a Morn so bright , So deck'd with all the Robes of Light , As if it scorn'd to think of Night , Which a rude Storm e'er Noon did shroud , And buried all its early Glories in a Cloud . The day in funeral Blackness mourn'd , And all to Sighs , and all to Tears it turn'd . IV. But why do we thy Death untimely deem ; Or Fate blaspheme ? We should thy full ripe Vertues wrong , To think thee young . Fate , when she did thy vigorous Growth behold , And all thy forward Glories told , Forgot thy tale of Years , and thought thee old . The brisk Endowments of thy Mind Scorning i' th' Bud to be confin'd , Out-ran thy Age , and left slow Time behind ; Which made thee reach Maturity so soon , And at first Dawn present a full-spread Noon . So thy Perfections with thy Soul agree , Both knew no Non-age , knew no Infancy . Thus the first Patern of our Race began His Life in middle-age , at 's Birth a perfect Man. V. So well thou acted'st in thy Span of Days , As calls at once for Wonder and for Praise . Thy prudent Conduct had so learnt to measure The different whiles of Toil and Leasure , No time did Action want , no Action wanted Pleasure . Thy busie Industry could Time dilate , And stretch the Thread of Fate : Thy careful Thrift could only boast the Power To lengthen Minutes , and extend an Hour . No single Sand could e'er flip by Without its Wonder , sweet as high : And every teeming Moment still brought forth A thousand Rarities of Worth. While some no other Cause for Life can give , But a dull Habitude to live : Thou scorn'dst such Laziness while here beneath , And Liv'dst that time which others only Breath . VI. Next our just Wonder does commence , How so small Room could hold such Excellence . Nature was proud when she contriv'd thy Frame , In thee she labor'd for a Name : Hence 't was she lavish'd all her Sto●…te , As if she meant hereafter to be poor , And , like a Bankrupt , run o' th Score . He ●…rious Hand here drew in Straights and joyn'd All the Perfections lodge●…in Humane kind ; Teaching her numerous Gifts to lie Crampt in a short Epitome . So Stars contracted in a Diamond shine , And Jewels in a narrow Point confine The Riches of an Indian Mine Thus subtle Artists can Draw Nature's larger self within a Span : A small Frame holds the World , Earth , Heav'ns and all Shrunk to the scant Dimensions of a Ball. VII . Those Parts which never in one Subject dwell , But some uncommon Excellence foretel , Like Stars did all constellate here , And met together in one Sphere . Thy Judgment , Wit and Memory conspir'd To make themselves and thee admir'd : And could thy growing Height a longer Stay have known , Thou hadst all other Glories , and thy self out-done . While some to Knowledge by Degrees arrive , Thro tedious Industry improv'd , Thine scorn'd by such pedantick Rules to thrive ; But swift as that of Angels mov'd , And made us think it was intuitive . Thy pregnant Mind ne'er struggl'd in its Birth , But quick , and while it did conceive , brought forth ; The gentle Throes of thy prolifick Brain Were all unstrain'd , and without Pain . Thus when Great Jove the Queen of Wisdom bare So easie and so mild his Travels were . VIII . Nor were these Fruits in a rough Soil bestown As Gemms are thick'st in rugged Quarries sown . Good Nature and good parts so shat'd thy mind , A Muse and Grace were so combin'd , Twashard to guess which with most Lustre shin'd . A Genius did thy whole Comportment act , Whose charming Complaisance did so attract , As every Heart attack'd . Such a soft Air thy well-tun'd Sweetness sway'd , As told thy Soul of Harmony was made ; All rude Aff●…ctions that Disturbers be , That mar or disunite Society , Were Foreiners to thee . Love only in their stead took up its Rest ; Nature made that thy constant Guest , And seem'd to form no other Passion for thy Breast IX . This made thy Courteousness to all extend , And thee to the whole Universe a Friend . Those which were Strangers to thy native Soil and thee No Strangers to thy Love could be , Whose Bounds were wide as all Mortality . Thy Heart no Island was , disjoyn'd ( Like thy own Nation ) from all human kind ; But 't was a Continent to other Countreys fixt As firm by Love , as they by Earth annext . Thou scorn'dst the Map should thy Affection guide , Like theirs who love by dull Geography , Friends but to whom by Soil they are ally'd : Thine reacht to all beside , To every member of the world 's great Family . Heav'ns Kindness only claims a Name more general , Which we the nobler call , Because 't is common , and vouchsas'd to all . X. Such thy Ambition of obliging was , Thou seem'dst corrupted with the very Power to please . Only to let thee gratifie , At once did bribe and pay thy Courtesie . Thy Kindness by Acceptance might be bought , It for no other Wages sought , But would its own be thought . No Suiters went unsatisfy'd away ; But left thee more unsatisfy'd than they . Brave Titus ! thou mightst here thy true Portraicture find , And view thy Rival in a private mind . Thou heretofore deserv'dst such Praise , When Acts of Goodness did compute thy days , Measur'd not by the Sun 's , but thine own kinder Rays . Thou thoughtst each hour out of Life's Journal lost , Which could not some fresh Favor boast , And reckon'dst Bounties thy best Clepsydras . XI . Some Fools who the great Art of giving want , Deflower their Largess with too slow a Grant ; Where the deluded Suitor dearly buys What hardly can defray The Expence of Importunities , Or the Suspense of torturing Delay . Here was no need of tedious Pray'rs to sue , Or thy too backward Kindness woo . It moved with no formal State , Like theirs whose Pomp does for intreaty wait : But met the swift'st Desires half way ; And Wishes did well nigh anticipate ; And then as modestly withdrew , Nor for its due Reward of Thanks would stay . XII . Yet might this Goodness to the happy most accrue ; Somewhat was to the miserable due , Which they might justly challenge too . Whate'er mishap did a known Heart oppress , The same did thine as wretched make ; Like yielding Waxthine did th' Impressions take , And paint its Sadness in as lively Dress . Thou could'st afflictions from another Breast translate , And forein Grief impropriate ; Oft-times our Sorrows thine so much have grown , They scarce were more our own ; We seem'd exempt , thou suffer'dst all alone . XIII . Our small'st Misfortunes scarce could reach thy Ear , But made thee give in Alms a Tear ; And when our Hearts breath'd their regret in sighs , As a just Tribute to their Miseries , Thine with their mournful Airs did symbolize . Like throngs of sighs did for its Fibres crowd , And told thy Grief from our each Grief aloud : Such is the secret Sympathy We may betwixt two neighb'ring Lutesdesery , If either by unskilful hand too rudely bent Its soft Complaint in pensive murmurs vent , As if it did that Injury resent : Untoucht the other strait returns the Moan , And gives an Eccho to each Groan . From its sweet Bowels a sad Note 's convey'd , Like those which to condole are made , As if its Bowels too a kind Compassion had . XIV . Nor was thy goodness bounded with so small extent , Or in such narrow Limits pent . Let Female Frailty in fond Tears distill , Who think that Moisture which they spill Can yield Relief , Or shrink the Current of anothers Grief , Who hope that Breath which they in sighs convey , Should blow Calamities away . Thine did a manlier Form express , And scorn'd to whine at an Unhappiness ; Thou thought'st it still the noblest Pity to redress . So friendly Angels their Relief bestow On the unfortunate below For whom those purer minds no Passion know : Such Nature in that generous Plant is found , Whose every Breach does with a Salve abound , And wounds it self to cure another's Wound . In pity to Mankind it sheds its Juice , Glad with expence of Blood to serve their Use. First with kind Tears our Maladies bewails , And after heals ; And makes those very Tears the remedy produce . XV. Nor didst thou to thy Foes less generous appear , ( If there were any durst that Title wear . ) They could not offer Wrongs so fast , But what were pardon'd with like haste ; And by thy acts of Amne●…ty defac't . Had he who wish'd the Art how to forget , Discover'd its new Worth in thee , He had a double Value on it set , And justly scorn'd th'ignobler Art of Memory . No Wrongs could thy great Soul to Grief expose 'T was plac't as much out of the reach of those , As of material Biows . No Injuries could thee provoke , Thy Softness always dampt the stroke : As Flints on Feather-beds are easiest broke . Affronts could ne'er thy cool Complexion heat , Or chase thy temper from its setled State : But still thou stoodst unshockt by all , As if thou hadst unlearnt the Power to hate , Or , like the Dove , wert born without a Gall. XVI . Vain Stoicks who disclaim all Human Sense , And own no Passions to resent Offence , May pass it by with unconcern'd Neglect , And Vertue on those Principles erect , Where 't is not a Perfection , but Defect . Let these themselves in a dull Patience please , Which their own Statues may possess , And they themselves when Carcasses . Thou only couldst to that high pitch arrive , To court Abuses , that thou mightst forgive : Wrongs thus in thy Esteem seem'd Courtesie , And thou the first was e'er oblig'd by Injury . XVII . Nor may we think these God-like Qualities Could stand in need of Votaries , Which heretofore had challeng'd Sacrifice . Each Assignation , each Converse Gain'd thee some new Idolaters . Thy sweet Obligingness could supple Hate , And out of it its Contrary create . It s powerful Influence made Quarrels cease , And Fewds dissolv'd into a calmer Peace . Envy resign'd her Force , and vanquish'd Spite Became thy speedy Proselyte . Malice could cherish Enmity no more ; And those which were thy Foes before , Now wish'd they might adore . Caesar may tell of Nations took , And Troops by Force subjected to his Yoke : We read as great a Conqueror in thee , Who couldst by milder ways all Hearts subdue , The nobler Conquest of the two ; Thus thou whole Legions mad'ft the Captives be , And like him too couldst look , and speak thy Victory . XVIII . Hence may we Calculate the Tenderness Thou didst Express To all , whom thou didst with thy Friendship bless : To think of Passion by new Mothers bore To the young Offspring of their Womb , Or that of Lovers to what they Adore , Ere Duty it become : We should too mean Ideas frame , Of that which thine might justly claim , And injure it by a degrading Name : Conceive the tender Care , Of guardian Angels to their Charge assign'd , Or think how dear To Heaven Expiring Martyrs are ; These are the Emblems of thy mind , The only Types to shew how thou wast kind . XIX . On whom soe're thou didst confer this Tye 'T was lasting as Eternity , And firm as the unbroken Chain of Destiny , Embraces would faint shadows of your Union show Unless you could together grow . That Union which is from Alliance bred , Does not so fastly wed , Tho' it with Blood be cemented : That Link wherewith the Soul and Body's joyn'd Which twists the double Nature in Mankind Only so close can bind . That holy Fire which Romans to their Vesta paid , Which they immortal as the Goddess made , Thy noble Flames most fitly parallel ; For thine were just so pure , and just so durable . Those feigned Pairs of Faithfulness which claim So high a place in ancient Fame , Had they thy better Patern seen , They'd made their Friendship more divine And strove to mend their Characters by thine . XX. Yet had this Friendship no advantage been , Unless'twere exercis'd within ; What did thy Love to other Objects tie , The same made thy own Pow'rs agree , And reconcil'd thy self to thee . No Discord in thy Soul did rest , Save what its Harmony increast . Thy mind did with such regular Calmness move , As held resemblance with the greater Mind above . Reason there fix'd its peaceful Throne , And reign'd alone . The Will its easie Neck to Bondage gave , And to the ruling Faculty became a Slave . The Passions rais'd no Civil Wars , Nor discompos'd thee with intestine Jars : All did obey , And paid Allegiance to its rightful Sway. All threw their resty Tempers by , And gentler Figures drew , Gentle as Nature in its Infancy , As when themselves in their first Beings grew . XXI . Thy Soul within such silent Pomp did keep , As if Humanity were lull'd asleep . So gentle was thy Pilgrimage beneath , Time's unheard Feet scarce make less Noise Or the soft Journey which a Planet goes . Life seem'd all calm as its last Breath . A still Tranquillity so husht thy Breast , As if some Halcyon were its Guest , And there had built her Nest ; It hardly now enjoys a greater Rest. As that smooth Sea which wears the Name of Pea●… Still with one even Face appears , And feels no Tides to change it from its place , No Waves to alter the fair Form it bears : As that unspotted Sky , Where Nile does want of Rain supply , Is free from Clouds , from Storms is ever free . So thy unvary'd mind was always one , And with such clear Serenity still shone , As caus'd thy little World to seem all temp'rate Zone . XXII . Let Fools their high Extraction boast , And Greatness , which no Travel , but their Mothers , cost . Let 'em extol a swelling Name , Which their 's by Will and Testament became ; At best but meer Inheritance , As oft the Spoils as Gift of Chance . Let some ill-plac't Repute on Scutcheons rear As fading as the Colors which those bear ; And prize a painted Field , Which Wealth as soon as Fame can yield . Thou scorn'dst at such low rates to purchase worth , Nor couldst thou owe it only to thy Birth . Thy self-born Greatness was above the Power Of Parents to entail , or Fortune to deflower . Thy Soul , which like the Sun , Heaven molded bright , Disdain'd to shine with borrow'd Light. Thus from himself th' Eternal Being grew , And from no other Cause his Grandeur drew . XXIII . Howe'er if true Nobility Rather in Souls than in the Blood does lie : If from thy better part we Measures take ; And that the Standard of our Value make , Jewels and Stars become low Heraldry To blazon thee . Thy Soul was big enough to pity Kings , And lookt on Empires as poor humble things . Great as his boundless mind , Who thought himself in one wide Globe confin'd , And for another pin'd . Great as that Spirit whose large Powers rowl Thro' the vast Fabrick of this spatious Bowl , And tell the World as well as Man can boast a Soul. XXIV . Yet could not this an Haughtiness beget , Or thee above the common Level set . Pride , whose Alloy does best Endowments mar , ( As things most lofty smaller still appear ) With thee did no Alliance bear . Low Meritsoft are by too high Esteem bely'd , Whose owners lessen while they raise their Price ; Thine were above the very Guilt of Pride , Above all others , and thy own Hyperbole : In thee the wid'st Extreams were joyn'd The loftiest , and the lowliest Mind . Thus tho some part of Heav'ns vast Round , Appear but low , and seem to touch the Ground . Yet 't is well known almost to bound the Spheres , 'T is truly held to be above the Stars . XXV . While thy brave Mind preserv'd this noble Frame , Thou stoodst at once secure From all the Flattery and Obloquy of Fame , It s rough and gentler Breath were both to thee the same : Nor this could thee exalt , nor that depress thee lower ; But thou from thy great Soul on both look'dst down Without the small concernment of a smile or frown . Heav'n lessdreads that it should fir'd be By the weak flitting Sparks that upwards fly , Less the bright Goddess of the Night Fears those loud howlings that revile her Light Than thou malignant Tongues thy Worth should blast , Which was too great for Envy's Cloud to overcast . 'T was thy brave Method to despise Contempt , And make what was the Fault the Punishment . What more Assaults could weak Detraction raise , When thou couldst Saint disgrace , And turn Reproach to Praise . So Clouds which would obscure the Sun , oft guilded be , And Shades are taught to shine as bright as he . So Diamonds , when envious Night Would shroud their Splendor , look most bright , And from its Darkness seem to borrow Light. XXVI . Had Heaven compos'd thy mortal Frame , Free from Contagion as thy Soul or Fame : Could Vertue been but Proof against Death's Arms , Th'adst stood unvanquisht by these Harms , Safe in a Circle made by thy own Charms . Fond Pleasure , whose soft Magick oft beguiles Raw unexperienc'd Souls , And with smooth Flattery cajoles , Could ne'er ensnare thee with her Wiles , Or make thee Captive to her soothing Smiles . In vain that Pimp of Vice assay'd to please , In hope to draw thee to its rude Embrace . Thy Prudence still that Syren past Without being pinion'd to the Mast : All its Attempts were ineffectual found ; Heaven senc'd thy heart with its own Mound , And forc'd the Tempter still from that forbidden Ground . XXVII . The mad Capricio's of the doating Age Could ne'er in the same Frenzy thee engage ; But mov'd thee rather with a generous Rage . Gallants , who their high Breeding prize , Known only by their Gallanture and Vice , Whose Talent is to court a fashionable Sin , And act some fine Transgression with a janty Meen , May by such Methods hope the Vogue to win . Let those gay Fops who deem Their Infamies Accomplishment , Grow scandalous to get Esteem ; And by Disgrace strive to be eminent . Here thou disdainst the common Road , Nor wouldst by ought be wood To wear the vain Iniquities o' th' Mode . Vice with thy Practice did so disagree , Thou scarce couldst bear it in thy Theory . Thou didst such Ignorance 'bove Knowledge prize , And here to be unskill'd , is to be wise . Such the first Founders of our Blood , While yet untempted , stood Contented only to know Good. XXVIII . Vertue alone did guide thy Actions here , Thou by no other Card thy Life didst steer : No sly decoy would serve , To make thee from its rigid Dictates swerve , Thy Love ne'er thought her worse Because thou hadst so few Competitors . Thou couldst adore her when ador'd by none Content to be her Votary alone : When 't was proscrib'd the unkind World And to blind Cells , and Grotto's hurld , When thought the Fantom of some crazy Brain , Fit for grave Anchorets to entertain , A thin Chimaera , whom dull Gown-Men frame To gull deluded Mortals with an empty Name . XXIX . Thou own'dst no Crimes that shun'd the Light , Whose Horror might thy Blood affright , And force it to its known Retreat . While the pale Cheeks do Penance in their White , And tell that Blushes are too weak to expiate : Thy Faults might all be on thy Forehead wore And the whole World thy Confessor . Conscience within still kept Assize , To punish and deter Impieties : That inbred Judg , such strict Inspection bore , So travers'd all thy Actions ore ; Th' Eternal Judge could scarce do more : Those little Escapades of Vice , Which pass the Cognizance of most I' th' Crowd of following Sins forgot and lost , Could ne're its Sentence or Arraignment miss : Thou didst prevent the young desires of ill , And them in their first Motions kill : The very thoughts in others unconfin'd And lawless as the Wind , Thou couldst to Rule and Order bind . They durst not any stamp , but that of Vertue bear , And free from stain as thy most publick Actions were . Let wild Debauches hug their darling Vice And court no other Paradise , Till want of Power Bids 'em discard the stale Amour , And when disabled strength shall force A short Divorce , Miscall that weak forbearance Abstinence , Which wise Morality and better Sence Stiles but at best a sneaking Impotence . Thine far a Nobler Pitch did fly 'T was all free choice , nought of Necessity . Thou didst that puny Soul disdain Whose half strain Vertue only can restrain ; Nor wouldst that empty Being own Which springs from Negatives alone , But truly thoughst it always Vertues Skeleton . XXX . Nor didst thou those mean Spirits more approve , Who Vertue , only for its Dowry love , Unbrib'd thou didst her sterling self espouse : Nor wouldst a better Mistress choose . Thou couldst Affection to her bare Idaea pay The first that e'er caress'd her the Platonick way . To see her in her own Attractions drest Did all thy Love arrest , Nor lack'd there new Efforts to storm thy Brest . Thy generous Loyalty Would ne'er a Mercenary be , But chose to serve her still without a Livery . Yet wast thou not of Recompense debarr'd , But countedst Honesty it s own Reward ; Thou didst not wish a greater Bliss t' accrue , For to be good to thee was to be happy too , That secret Triumph of thy mind , Which always thou in doing well didst find , Were Heaven enough , were there no other Heaven design'd . XXXI . What Vertues few possess but by Retail In gross could thee their Owner call ; They all did in thy single Circle fall . Thou wast a living System where were wrote All those high Morals which in Books are sought . Thy Practice did more Vertues share Than heretofore the learned Porch e'er knew , Or in the Stagyrites scant Ethics grew : Devout thou wast as holy Hermits are , Which share their time 'twixt Extasie and Prayer . Modest as Infant Roses in their bloom , Which in a Blush their Lives consume . So Chast , the Dead are only more , Who lie divorc'd from Objects , and from Power . So pure , that if blest Saints could be Taught Innocence , they 'd gladly learn of thee . Thy Vertues height in Heaven alone could grow Nor to ought else would for Accession owe : It only now 's more perfect than it was below . XXXII . Hence , tho' at once thy Soul liv'd here and there , Yet Heaven alone its Thoughts did share ; It own'd no home , but in the active Sphere . Its Motions always did to that bright Center rowl , And seem'd t' inform thee only on Parole . Look how the Needle does to its dear North incline , As wer 't not fixt 't would to that Region climb ; Or mark what hidden force Bids the Flame upwards take its course , And makes it with that Swiftness rise , As if 't were wing'd by th' Air thro' which it flies . Such a strong Vertue did thy Inclinations bend , And made 'em still to the blest Mansions tend . That mighty Slave whom the proud Victor's Rage Shut Pris'ner in a golden Cage , Condemn'd to glorious Vassalage , Ne'er long'd for dear Enlargement more , Nor his gay Bondage with less Patience bore , Than this great Spirit brookt its tedious Stay , While fetter'd here in brittle Clay , And wish'd to disengage and fly away . It vext and chaf'd , and still desir'd to be Releas'd to the sweet Freedom of Eternity . XXXIII . Nor were its Wishes long unheard , Fate soon at its desire appear'd . And strait for an Assault prepar'd . A suddain and a swift Disease First on thy Heart Life's chiefest Fort does seize , And then on all the Suburb-vitals preys : Next it corrupts thy tainted Blood , And scatters Poyson thro' its purple Flood . Sharp Aches in thick Troops it sends , And Pain , which like a Rack the Nerves extends . Anguish through every Member flies , And all those inward Gemonies Whereby frail Flesh in Torture dies . All the staid Glories of thy Face , Where sprightly Youth lay checkt with manly Grace , Are now impair'd , And quite by the rude hand of Sickness mar'd . Thy Body where due Symmetry In just proportions once did lie , Now hardly could be known , It s very Figure out of Fashion grown ; And should thy Soul to its old Seat return , And Life once more adjourn , 'T would stand amaz'd to see its alter'd Frame , And doubt ( almost ) whether its own Carcass were the same . XXXIV . And here thy Sickness does new matter raise Both for thy Vertue and our Praise ; 'T was here thy Picture look'd most neat , When deep'st in Shades 't was set . Thy Vertues only thus could fairer be Advantag'd by the Foil of Misery . Thy Soul which hasten'd now to be enlarg'd , And of its grosser Load discharg'd , Began to act above its wonted rate , And gave a Praelude of its next unbody'd State. So dying Tapers near their Fall , When their own Lustre lights their Funeral , Contract their Strength into one brighter Fire , And in that Blaze triumphantly expire . So the bright Globe that rules the Skies , Tho' he guild Heav'n with a glorious Rise , Reserves his choicest Beams to grace his Set ; And then he looks most great , And then in greatest Splendor dies . XXXVI . Thou sharpest pains didst with that Courage bear , And still thy Looks so unconcern'd didst wear : Beholders seem'd more indispos'd than thee ; For they were sick in Effigie . Like some well-fashion'd Arch thy Patience stood . And purchas'd Firmness from its greater Load . Those Shapes of Torture , which to view in Paint Would make another faint ; Thou could'st endure in true Reality , And feel what some could hardly bear to see . Those Indians who their Kings by Torture chose , Subjecting all the Royal Issue to that Test Could ne'er thy Sway refuse , If he deserves to reign that suffers best . Had those fierce Savages thy Patience view'd , thou 'dst claim'd their Choice alone ▪ They with a Crown had paid thy Fortitude , And turn'd thy Death bed to a Throne XXXVII . All those Heroick Pieties , Whose Zeal to Truth made them its Sacrifice : Those nobler Scaevola's , whose holy Rage Did their whole selves in cruel Flames engage , Who did amidst their Force unmov'd appear , As if those Fires but lambent were ; Or they had found their Empyreum there . Might these repeat again their Days beneath , They 'd seen their Fates out-acted by a natural Death , And each of them to thee resign his Wreath . In spite of Weakness and harsh Destiny , To relish Torment , and enjoy a Misery : So to caress a Doom , As make its Sufferings Delights become : So to triumph o'er Sense and thy Disease , As amongst Pains to revel in soft Ease : These wonders did thy Vertues worth enhance , And Sickness to dry Martyrdom advance . XXXVIII . Yet could not all these Miracles stern Fate avert , Or make 't withold the Dart. Only she paus'd a while with Wonder strook , A while she doubted if that Destiny was thine , And turned o'er again the dreadful Book , And hop'd she had mistook ; And wish'd she might have cut another Line . But dire Necessity Soon cry'd 't was thee , And bad her give the fatal Blow . Strait she obeys , and strait the vital Powers grow Too weak to grapple with a stronger Foe , And now the feeble Strife forgo . Life's sap'd Foundation every Moment sinks , And every Breath to lesser compass shrinks ; Last panting Gasps grow weaker each Rebound , Like the faint Tremblings of a dying Sound : And doubtful Twilight hovers o'er the Light , Ready to usher in Eternal Night . XXXIX . Yet heré thy Courage taught thee to out-brave All the slight Horrors of the Grave : Pale Death's Arrest Ne'er shock'd thy Breast ; Nor could it in the dreadfulst Figure drest . That ugly Skeleton may guilty Spirits daunt , When the dire Ghosts of Crimes departed haunt , Arm'd with bold Innocence thou couldst that Mormo dare , And on the bare-fac'd King of Terrors stare , As free from all Effects as from the Cause of Fear . Thy Soul so willing from thy Body went , As if both parted by Consent . No Murmur , no Complaining , no Delay , Only a Sigh , a Groan , and so away . Death seem'd to glide with Pleasure in , As if in this Sense too 't had lost her Sting . Like some well-acted Comedy Life swiftly past , And ended just so still and sweet at last . Thou , like its Actors , seem'dst in borrow'd Habit here And couldst , as easily beneath , As they do that , put off Mortality . Thou breathedst out thy Soul as free as common Breath , As unconcern'd as they are in a feigned Death . XL. Go happy Soul , ascend the joyful Sky , Joyful to shine with thy bright Company : Go mount the spangled Sphere , And make it brighter by another Star : Yet stop not there , till thou advance yet higher , Till thou art swallow'd quite In the vast unexhausted Ocean of Delight : Delight which there alone in its true Essence is , Where Saints keep an eternal Carnival of Bliss : Where the Regalio's of refined Joy , Which fill , but never cloy . Where Pleasures ever growing , ever new , Immortal as thy self , and boundless too . There may'st thou learned by Compendium grow ; For which in vain below We so much time , and so much pains bestow . There may'st thou all Idaea's see , All wonders which in Knowledge be In that fair beatifick mirror of the Deity . XLI . Mean while thy Body mourns in its own Dust , And puts on Sables for its tender Trust. Tho' dead , it yet retains some untoucht Grace , Wherein we may thy Soul 's fair Foot-steps trace ; Which no Disease can frighten from its wonted place : E'en its Deformities do thee become , And only serve to consecrate thy Doom . Those marks of Death which did its Surface stain Now hallow , not profane . Each Spot does toa Ruby turn ; What soil'd but now , would now adorn●… Those Asterisks plac'd in the Margin of thy Skin Point out the nobler Soul that dwelt within : Thy lesser , like the greater World appears All over bright , all over stuck with Stars . So Indian Luxury when it would be trim , Hangs Pearls on every Limb. Thus amongst ancient Picts Nobility In Blemishes did lie ; Each by his Spots more honourable grew , And from their Store a greater Value drew : Their Kings were known by th' Royal Stains they bore , And in their Skins their Ermin wore . LXII . Thy Blood where Death triumph'd in greatest State , Whose Purple seem'd the Badge of Tyrant-Fate , And all thy Body o'er Its ruling Colours bore : That which infected with the noxious Ill But lately help'd to kill , Whos 's Circulation fatal grew . And thro' each part a swifter Ruin threw . Now conscious , it s own Murther would arraign , And throngs to sally out at every Vein . Each Dropa redder than its native Dye puts on , As if in its own Blushes 't would its Guilt atone . A sacred Rubric does thy Carcass paint , And Death in every Member writes thee Saint . So Phoebus cloaths his dying Rays each Night , And blushes he can live no longer to give Light. LXIII . Let Fools , whose dying Fame requires to have Like their own Carcasses a Grave , Let them with vain Expence adorn Some costly Urn , Which shortly , like themselves , to Dust shall turn . Here lacks no Carian Sepulchre , Which Ruin shall e'er long in its own Tomb interr . No fond AEgyptian Fabric built so high As if 't would climb the Sky , And thence reach Immortality . Thy Vertues shall embalm thy Name , And make it lasting as the Breath of Fame . When frailer Brass Shall moulder by a quick Decrease ; When brittle Marble shall decay , And to the Jaws of Time become a Prey . Thy Praise shall live , when Graves shall buried lie , Till Time it self shall die , And yield its triple Empire to Eternity . To the Memory of that worthy Gentleman , Mr. Harman Atwood . PINDARIQUE . I. No , I 'll no more repine at Destiny , Now we poor common Mortals are content to die . When thee , blest Saint , we cold and breathless see , Thee , who if ought that 's great and brave , Ought that is excellent might save , Hadst justly claim'd Exemption from the Grave , And cancell'd the black irreversible Decree . Thou didst alone such Worth , such Goodness share As well deserv'd to be immortal here ; Deserve a Life as lasting as the Fame thou art to wear . At least , why went thy Soul without its Mate ? Why did they not together undivided go ? So went ( we 're told ) the fam'd Illustrious Two. ( Nor could they greater Merits shew , Altho' the best of Patriarchs that , And this the best of Prophets was ) Heav'n did alive the blessed Pair translate ; Alive they launch'd into Life's boundless Happiness , And never past Death's Straights and narrow Seas ; Ne'er enter'd the dark gloomy Thorowfare of Fate . II. Long time had the Profession under Scandal lain , And felt a general tho' unjust Disdain , An upright Lawyer Contradiction seem'd , And was at least a Prodigy esteem'd . If one perhaps did in an Age appear , He was recorded like some Blazing Star ; And Statues were erected to the wondrous Man , As heretofore to the strange honest Publican . To thee the numerous Calling all its thanks should give , To thee who couldst alone its lost Repute retrieve . Thou the vast wide extremes didst reconcile , The first , almost , e'er taught it was not to beguile . To each thou didst distribute Right so equally , Ev'n Justice might her self correct her Scales by thee . And none did now regret , Her once bewail'd Retreat , Since all enjoy'd her better Deputy . Henceforth succeeding Time shall bear in mind , And Chronicle the best of all the kind : The best e'er since the man that gave Our suffering God a Grave ; ( That God who living no Abode could find , Tho' he the World had made , and was to save ) Embalming him , he did embalm his Memory , And make it from Corruption free : Those Odors kindly lent perfum'd the Breath of Fame , And fixt a lasting Fragrancy upon his Name ; And rais'd it with his Saviour to an Immortality . III. Hence the stale musty Paradox of equal Souls , That ancient vulgar Error of the Schools , Avow'd by dull Philosophers and thinking Fool. Here might they find their feeble Arguments o'erthrown : Here might the grave Disputers find Themselves all baffl'd by a single Mind , And see one vastly larger than their own , Tho' all of theirs were mixt in one . A Soul as great as e'er vouchsaf'd to be Inhabiter in low Mortality ; As e'er th' Almighty Artist labour'd to infuse , Thro' all his Mint he did the brightest chuse ; With his own Image stampt it fair , And bid it ever the Divine Impression wear ; And so it did , so pure , so well , We hardly could believe him of the Race that fell : So spotless still , and still so good , As if it never lodg'd in Flesh and Blood. Hence conscious too , how high , how nobly born : It never did reproach its Birth , By valuing ought of base or meaner worth , But look'd on earthly Grandeur with Contempt and Scorn . IV. Like his All-great Creator , who Can only by diffusing greater grow : He made his chiefest Glory to communicate , And chose the fairest Attribute to imitate . So kind , so generous , and so free , As if he only liv'd in Courtesie . To be unhappy did his Pity claim , Only to want it did deserve the same : Nor lack'd there other Rhetorick than Innocence and Misery . His unconfin'd unhoarded Store Was still the vast Exchequer of the poor ; And whatsoe'er in pious Acts went out He did in his own Inventory put : For well the wise and prudent Banker knew His Gracious Sovereign above would all repay , And all th' expences of his Charity defray ; And so he did , both Principal and Interest too , And he by holy Prodigality more wealthy grew . Such , and so universal is the Influence Which the kind bounteous Sun does here dispense : With an unwearied indefatigable Race , He travels round the World each day , And visits all Mankind , and every place , And scatters Light and Blessings all the way . Tho' he each hour new Beams expend , Yet does he not like wasting Tapers spend . Tho' he ten thousand years disburse in Light , The boundless Stock can never be exhausted quite . V. Nor was his Bounty stinted or design'd , As theirs who only partially are kind ; Or give where they Return expect to find : But like his Soul , its fair Original : 'T was all in all , And all in every part , Silent as his Devotion , open as his Heart . Brib'd with the Pleasure to oblige and gratifie , As Air and Sunshine he dispos'd his Kindness free , Yet scorn'd Requitals , and worse hated Flattery , And all obseouious Pomp of vain formality . Thus the Almighty Bounty does bestow Its Favors on our undeserving Race below ; Confer'd on all its loyal Votaries ; Confer'd alike on its rebellious Enemies . To it alone our All we owe , All that we are and are to be , Each Art and Science to its Liberality , And this same trifling jingling thing call'd Poetry . Yet the great Donor does no costly Gratitude require , No Charge of Sacrifice desire ; Nor are w' expensive Hecatombs to raise , As heretofore , To make his Altars float with reeking Gore . A small Return the mighty Debt and Duty pays , Ev'n the cheap humble Off'ring of worthless Thanks and Praise . VI. But how , blest Saint , shall I thy numerous Vertues summ , If one or two take up this room ? To what vast Bulk must the full Audit come ? As that bold Hand that drew the fairest Deity , Had many naked Beauties by , And took from each a several Grace , and Air , and Line , And all in one Epitome did joyn To paint his bright Immortal in a Form Divine : So must I do to frame thy Character . I 'll think whatever Men can good and lovely call , And then abridge it all , And crowd , and mix the various Idaeas there ; And yet at last of a just Praise despair . Whatever ancient Worthies boast , Which made themselves and Poets their Describers great , From whence old Zeal did Gods and Shrines create ; Thou hadst thy self alone engrost , And all their scatter'd Glories in thy Soul did meet : And future Ages , when they eminent Vertues see , ( If any after thee Dare the Pretence of Vertue own , Without the Fear of being far out-done ) Shall count 'em all but Legacy , Which from the Strength of thy Example flow , And thy fair Copy in a less correct Edition show . VII . Religion over all did a just Conduct claim , No false Religion which from Custom came , Which to its Font and Country only ow'd its Name : No Issue of devout and zealous Ignorance , Or the more dull Effect of Chance ; But 't was a firm well-grounded Piety , That knew all that it did believe , and why ; And for the glorious Cause durst die , And durst out-suffer ancient Martyrology . So knit and interwoven with its being so , Most thought it did not from his Duty , but his Nature flow . Exalted far above the vain small Attacks of Wit , And all that vile gay lewd Buffoons can bring , Who try by little Railleries to ruin it , And jeer't into an unreguarded poor defenceless thing , The Men of Sence who in Confederacy join , To damn Religion had they view'd but thine , They'd have confest it pure , confest it all divine , And free from all Pretences of Imposture or Design . Pow'rful enough to counter-act lewd Poets and the Stage , And Proselyte as fast as they debauch the Age ; So good , it might alone a guilty condemn'd World reprieve , Should a destroying Angel stand With brandish'd Thunder in his Hand , Ready the bidden Stroke to give ; Or a new Delugethreaten this and every Land. VIII . Religion once a quiet and a peaceful Name , Which all the Epithets of Gentleness did claim , Late prov'd the Source of Faction and intestine Jars : Like the Fair teeming Hebrew , she Did travel with a wrangling Progeny , And harbor'd in her Bowels Fewds and Civil Wars . Surly , uncomplaisant , and rough she grew , And of a soft and easie Mistress turn'd a Shrew . Passion and Anger went for marks of Grace , And looks deform'd and sullen sanctifyed a Face . Thou first its meek and primitive Temper didst restore , First shew'dst how men were pious heretofore : The gaul-less Dove , which other where could find no Rest , Early retreated to its Ark , thy Breast , And straight the swelling Waves decreast And straight tempestuous Passions ceast , Like Winds and Storms where some fair Halcyon builds her Nest. No overheating Zeal did thee inspire , But 't was a kindly gentle Fire , To warm , but not devour , And only did refine , and make more pure : Such is that Fire that makes thy present blest Abode The Residence and Palace of our God. And such was that bright unconsuming Flame , So mild , so harmless and so tame , Which heretofore i th' Bush to Moses came : At first the Vision did the wondring Prophet scare , But when the voice had check'd his needless Fear He bow'd and worshipp'd and confest the Deity was there . IX . Hail Saint Triumphant ! hail Heav'ns happy Guest . Hail new Inhabitant amongst the blest ! Methinks I see kind Spirits in convoy meet . And with loud Welcomes thy Arrival greet . Who , could they grieve , would go with Grief away To see a Soul more white , more pure than they : By them thou' rt led on high To the vast glorious Apartment of the Deity . Where circulating Pleasures make an endless Round To which scant Time or Measure sets no Bound , Perfect unmixt Delights without Alloy , And whatsoe'er does earthly Bliss annoy , Which oft does in Fruition Pall and oft'ner Cloy : Where being is no longer Life but Extasie , But one long Transport of unutterable Joy. A Joy above the boldest Flights of daring verse , And all a Muse unglorifyed can fancy or rehearse : There happy Thou From Troubles and the bustling toil of Business free , From noise and tracas of tumultuous Life below , Enjoy'st the still and calm Vacation of Eternity . CHARACTER OF A Certain Ugly Old P — — Deformem & tetrum ante omnia Vultum , Dissimilemque sui , desormem pro cute pellem , Pendentésque genas , ac tales aspice rugas , Quales , umbriferos ubi pandit Tabraca saltus , In vetulâ scalpit jam mater simia bucca , &c. Juv. Sat. 10 Assist ye nasty Powers To describe him thorowout , I 'll dip my Pen in Turd , And write upon a shitten Clout . Tartaret . de modo Cacandi . p. 9. LONDON , Printed in the Year , 1684. CHARACTER . NO wonder if I am at a Loss to describe him , whom Nature was as much puzzled to make . 'T is here as in Painting , where the most mishapen . Figures are the greatest Proofs of Skill . To draw a Thersites or AEsop well , requires the Pencil of Vandike or Titian , more than the best Features and Lineaments . All the Thoughts I can frame of him are as rude and indigested as himself . The very Idaea and Conception of him are enough to cramp Grammar , to disturb Sence , and confound Syntax . He 's a Solecism in the great Construction , therefore the best Description of him is Nonsence , and the fittest Character to write it in , that Pot-hook-hand the Devil us'd at Oxford in Queens Colledge-Library . He were Topick enough for convincing an Atheist that the World was made by Chance . The first Matter had more of Form and Order , the Chaos more of Symmetry and Proportion . I could call him Nature's By-blow , Miscarriage and Abortive , or say , he is her Embryo slink'd before Maturity ; but that is stale and flat , and I must fly a higher Pitch to reach his Deformity . He is the ugliest she ever took Pains to make so , and Age to make worse . All the Monsters of Africa lie kennell'd in his single Skin . He 's one of the Grotesques of the Universe , whom the grand Artist drew only ( as Painters do uncouth ugly Shapes ) to fill up the empty Spaces and Cantons of this ▪ great Frame . He 's Man anagrammatiz'd : A Mandrake has more of Humane Shape : His Face carries Libel and Lampoon in 't . Nature at its Composition wrote Burlesque , and shew'd him how far she could out-do Art in Grimace . I wonder 't is not hir'd by the Play-houses to draw Antick Vizards by . Without doubt he was made to be laugh'd at , and design'd for the Scaramuchio of Mankind . When I see him , I can no more forbear than at sight of a Zany or Nokes ; but am like to run the Risque of the Philosopher , looking on an Ass mumbling Thistles . He 's more ill-favour'd than the Picture of Winter drawn by a Fellow that dawbs Sign-Posts , more lowring than the last day of January . I have seen a handsomer Mortal carv'd in Monumental Gingerbread , and woven in Hangings at Mortlock . If you have ever view'd that wooden Gentleman that peeps out of a Country Barber's Window , you may fancy some Resemblance of him . His damn'd squeezing Close-stool . Face can be liken'd to nothing better than the Buttocks of an old wrinkled Baboon , straining upon an Hillock . The very Sight of him in a morning would work with one beyond Jalap and Rhubarb . A Doctor ( I 'm told ) once prescrib'd him to one of his Parishioners for a Purge : he wrought the Effect , and gave the Patient fourteen Stools . 'T is pity he is not drawn at the City Charges , and hung up in some publick Forica as a Remedy against Costiveness . Indeed by his Hue you might think he had been employed to that use : One would take him for the Picture of Scoggin or Tarleton on a Privy-house Door , which by long standing there has contracted the Color 〈◊〉 the neighbouring Excrements . Reading lately how Garagantua came into the World at his Mother's Ear , it put an unlucky thought into my Head concerning him : I presently fancied that he was v●…ided , not brought forth ; that his Dam was deliver'd of him on t'other side , beshit him coming out , and he has ever since retain'd the Stains . His filthy Countenance looks like an old Chimney-piece in a decay'd Inn , sullied with Smoak , and the sprinkling of Ale-pots . 'T is dirtier than an ancient thumb'd Record , greasier than a Chandler's Shop-book , You 'd imagine ▪ Snails had crawl'd the Hay upon it . The Case of it is perfect Vellum , and has often been mistaken for it : A Scrivener was like to cheapen it for making Indentures and Deeds : Besides 't is as wrinkled as a walking Buskin : It has more Furrows then all Cotswold . You may resemble it to a Gammon of Bacon with the Swerd off . I believe the Devil travels over it in his Sleep with Hob-nails in his Shoes . By the Maggot-eaten Sur-face , you 'd swear he had been dug out of his Grave agen with all his Worms about him to bait Eel-hooks . But enough of it in General , I think it time to descend to Particulars ; I wish I could divide his Face , as he does his Text , i. e. tear it asunder : 'T is fit I ▪ begin with the most remarkable part of it . His Mouth ( saving your presence Christian Readers ) is like the Devils Arse of Peak , and is just as large . By the Scent you 'd take it for the Hole of a Privy : He may be winded by a good Nose at twelve-score ; I durst have ventur'd at first being in Company that he dieted on Assa-foetida . His very Discourse stinks in a Literal Sence ; 't is breaking-Wind , and you 'd think he talk'd at the other End. Last New-years-day he tainted a Loin of Veal with saying Grace : All the Guests were fain to use the Fanatical Posture in their own Defence , and stand with their Caps over their Eyes like Malefactors going to be turn'd off . That too that renders it the more unsupportable is that it can't be stopp'd : The Breach is too big ever to be clos'd . Were he a Milliner , he might measure Ribbon by it without the help of his Yard or Counter . It reaches so far backwards , those , that have seen him with his Peruke off , say it may be discerned behind . When he gapes , 't would stretch the Dutchess of Cl to straddle over : I had almost said , 't is as wide as from Dover to Calice . Could he shut it , the Wrinkles round about would represent the Form of the Seamens Compass , and should he bluster ; 't were a pretty Emblem of those swelling Mouths , at the Corners of Maps puffing out Storms . When he Smoaks , I am always thinking of Mongibel and its Eruptions . His Head looks exactly like a Device on a Kitchin Chimney ; His Mouth the Vent and his Nose the Fane . And now I talk of his Snout , I dare not mention the Elephants for fear of speaking too little : I 'd make bold with the old Wit , and compare it to the Gnomon of a Dial ; but that he has not Teeth enough to stand for the twelve Hours . 'T is so long , that when he rides a Journey , he makes use of it to open Gates . He 's fain to snite it with both Hands . It cannot be wip'd under as much as the Royal Breech . A Man of ordinary Bulk might find Shelter under its Eves , were it not for the Droppings . One protested to me in Raillery that when he looks against the Sun , it shadows his whole Body , as some story of the Sciopodes Feet . Another Hyperbolical Rascal would make me believe that the Arches of it are as large as any two of London-Bridge , or the great Rialto at Venice . Not long ago I met a one-leg'd Tarpawlin that had been begging at his Door , but could get nothing : The witty Whoreson ( I remember ) swore that his Bow-sprit was as long as that of the Royal Sovereign . I confess , stood he in my way : I durst not venture round by his Foreside , for fear of going half a mile about . 'T is perfec●… doubling the Cape : He has this Priviledge for being unmannerly that it will not suffer him to put off his Hat : And therefore ( 't is said ) at home he has a Cord fasten'd to it , and draws it off with a Pully , and so receives the Addresses of those that visit him . This I'm very confident , he has not heard himself sneeze these seven Years : And that leads me to his Tools of Hearing : His Ears resemble these of a Countrey Justices Black Jack , and are of the same matter , hue , and size : He 's as well hung as any Hound in the Countrey ; but by their Bulk and growing upward , he deserves to be rank'd with a graver of Beasts : His single self might have shown with Smeck , and all the Club Divines . You may pare enough from the sides of his Head to have furnisht a whole Regiment of Round-Heads : He wears more there then all the Pillories in England ever have done . Man-devile tells us of a People somewhere , that use their Ears for Cushions : He has reduced the Legend to Probability : A Servant of his ( that could not conceal the Midas ) told me lately in private , that going to Bed he binds them on his Crown , and they serve him instead of Quilt Night-caps . The next observable that falls under my Consideration is his Back : Nor need I go far out of my way to meet it , for it peeps over his Shoulders : He was built with a Buttress to support the weight of his Nose ; and help ballance it . Nature hung on him a Knapsack , and made him represent both Tinker and Budget too . He looks like the Visible Tye of AEneas bolstring up his Father , or like a Beggar-Woman , endorst with her whole Litter , and with Child behind . You may take him for Anti-Christopher with the Devil at his Back . I believe the Atlas in Wadham-Garden at Oxford was carv'd by him . Certainly he was begot in a Cupping-Glass : His Mother longed for Pumpions , or went to see some Camel shown while she was conceiving him . One would think a Mole has crept into his Carcase before 't is layd in the Church-Yard , and Rooted in it , or that an Earthquake had disorder'd the Symmetry of the Microcosm , sunk one Mountain and put up another . And now I should descend lower , if I durst venture : But I 'll not defile my Pen : My Ink is too cleanly for a farther Description . I must beg my Reader 's Distance : as if I were going to Untruss . Should I mention what is beneath , the very Jakes would suffer by the Comparison , and 't were enough to bring a Bog-house in Disgrace . Indeed he ought to have been drawn , like the good People on the Parliament-House , only from the Shoulders upwards . To me 't is a greater Prodigy then himself , how his Soul has so long endured so nasty a Lodging . Were there such a thing as a Metempsychosis , how gladly would it exchange its Carcase for that of the worst and vilest Brute : I 'm sufficiently perswaded against the whim of Praeexistence ; for any thing that had the Pretense of Reason would never have entered such a Durance of Choice : Doubtless it must have been guilty of some unbeard of Sin , for which Heaven dooms it Penance in the present Body , and ordains it its first Hell here . And 't is disputable which may prove the worst , for 't has suffered half an Eternity already . Men can hardly tell which of the two will out-live the other . By his Face you 'd guess him one of the Patriarchs , and that he liv'd before the Flood : His Head looks as if 't had worn out three or four Bodies , and were Legacied to him by his Great-Grand-father . His Age is out of Knowledg , I believe he was born before Registers were invented . He should have been a Ghost in Queen Mary's Days . I wonder Holingshead does not speak of him . Every Limb about him is Chronicle : Par and John of the Times were short-Livers to him . They say , he can remember when Pauls was Founded , and London-Bridge built . I my self have heard him tell all the Stories of York and Lancaster upon his own Knowledge . His very Cane and Spectacles are enough to set up an Antiquary . The first was the Walking-staff of Lanfranc Arch-bishop of Canterbury which is to he seen by-his Arms upon the Head of it : The t'other belong'd to the Chaplain of William the Conqueror ; was of Norman make , and travell'd over with him . 'T is strange the late Author of M. Fickle forgot to make his Sir Arthur Oldlove swear by them , the Oath had been of as good Antiquity as St. Austin's Night-Cap , or Mahomet's Threshold . I have often wonder'd he never set up for a Conjurer : His very Look would bring him in Vogue , draw Custom , and undo Lilly and Gadbury . You 'd take him for the Ghost of Old Haly or Albumazar , or the Spirit Frier in the Fortune Book , his Head for the inchanted brazen one of Frier Bacon . 'T would pose a good Physiognomist to give Names to the Lines in his Face . I 've observ'd all the Figures and Diagrams in Agrippa and Ptolomy's Centiloquies there upon strict view . And t'other day a Linguist of my Acquaintance shew'd me all the Arabick Alphabet betwixt his Brow and Chin. Some have admired how he came to be admitted into Orders , since his very Face is against the Canon : I guess he pleaded the Qualicfiation of the Prophets of Old , to be withered , Toothless and deform'd . He can pretend to be an Elisha only by his Baldness . The Devils Oracles heretofore were utter'd from such a Mouth . 'T was then the Candidates for the Tripus were fain to plead Wrinkles and Grey Hairs ; a Splay Mouth , and a goggle Eye were the cheapest Simony , and the ugly and crippled were the only men of Preferment . And this leads me to consider him a little in the Pulpit . And there 't is hard to distinguish whether that or his Skin be the coarser Wainscoat : He represents a Crackt Weather-Glass in a Frame . You 'd take him by his Looks and Posture for Muggleton doing Pennance and paulted with rotten Eggs. Had his Hearers the trick of Writing short-Hand , I should fancy him an Offender upon a Sca●…old , and them Penning his Confession . Not a fluxt Debauch in a sweating Tub makes worse Faces . He makes Doctrine as Folks do their Water in the Stone or Strangury . Balaams Ass was a better Divine , and had a better Delivery . The Thorn at Glastenbury had more Sence and Religion , and would make more Converts . He speaks not , but grunts , like one of the Gadaren Hogs after the Devils enter'd . When I came first to his Church and saw him perch'd on high against a Pillar , I took him by his gaping for some Juggler going to swallow Bibles aud Hour-Glasses . But I was soon convinc'd that other Feats were to be play'd , and on a sudden lost all my Sences in Noise . A Drunken Huntsman reeling in while he was at Prayer , ask'd if he were giving his Parishoners a Hollow : He has preached half his Parish deaf : His Din is beyond the Catadupi of Nile . All his Patrons Pigeons , are frighted from their Apartment , and he 's generally believed the Occasion . He may be heard father then Sir Samuel Moorlands Flagelet . Nay one damn'd mad Rogue swore : Should he take a Text concerning the Resurrection , he might serve for the last Trumpet . And yet in one Respect he 's fitted for the Function . His Countenance , if not Doctrine can scare men into Repentance , like an Apparition : Should he walk after he 's dead , he would not be more dreadful , then now while he is alive . A Maid meeting him in the Dark in a Church-Yard , was frighted into Phanaticism . 〈◊〉 is in Bedlam upon the same Occasio●… I dare not approach him without 〈◊〉 Exorcism . In the Name , &c. is the fittest Salutation : Some have thought the Parsonage House haunted since he dwelt there . In York-shire ( 't is reported ) they make use of his Name instead of Raw-Head and Bloody-bones to fright Children . He is more terrible then those Phantoms Country Folks tell of by the Fire side , and pretend to have seen , with Leathern-wings , Cloven-feet , and Sawcer-eyes : If he go to Hell ( as 't is almost an Article of my Creed , he will ) the Devils will quake for all their warm Dwelling , and crowd up into a Nook for fear of him . FINIS .