The case of John Dunton, citizen of London with respect to his mother-in-law, Madam Jane Nicholas, of St. Albans, and her only child, Sarah Dunton : with the just reasons for her husband's leaving her : in a letter to his worthy friend, Mr. George Larkin, Senior : to which is added his letter to his wife. Dunton, John, 1659-1733. 1700 Approx. 55 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 7 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2004-05 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A36897 Wing D2621 ESTC R17041 12341086 ocm 12341086 59887 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A36897) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 59887) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 209:12) The case of John Dunton, citizen of London with respect to his mother-in-law, Madam Jane Nicholas, of St. Albans, and her only child, Sarah Dunton : with the just reasons for her husband's leaving her : in a letter to his worthy friend, Mr. George Larkin, Senior : to which is added his letter to his wife. Dunton, John, 1659-1733. Nicholas, Jane, d. 1708. Larkin, George, Sr. [2], 10 p. Printed and are to be sold by A. Baldwin ..., London : 1700. Reproduction of original in Yale University Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Divorce -- Early works to 1800. 2003-03 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2003-05 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-07 Jennifer Kietzman Sampled and proofread 2004-01 Aptara Rekeyed and resubmitted 2004-02 Olivia Bottum Sampled and proofread 2004-02 Olivia Bottum Text and markup reviewed and edited 2004-04 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE CASE OF IOHN DVNTON , Citizen of London : With respect to his Mother-in-Law , Madam Iane Nicholas , Of St. ALBANS ; And her Only Child , Sarah Dunton . With the Just Reasons for her Husband 's Leaving her . In a Letter to his Worthy Friend , Mr. George Larkin , Senior . To which is Added , His Letter to His WIFE . Psal. X. 3. The Wicked — blesseth the COVETOVS , whom the Lord abhorreth . Eccles. V. 13 , 14. There is a SORE EVIL which I have seen under the Sun , namely , Riches kept by the Owners thereof to their hurt : But those Riches perish by evil Travel . Luke XII . 15. Take heed and beware of COVETOVSNESS . LONDON Printed , and are to be sold by A. Baldwin , near the Oxford Arms in Warwick-Lane . MDCC . Price Three Pence . The CASE of Iohn Dunton Citizen of London : In a Letter to Mr. George Larkin , Senior . My very good Friend , I Receiv'd your obliging Letter , which I had answer'd much sooner , had I not been prevented by a Second Fit of Sickness , which I was in hopes would have been my last ; and as it had brought me even to the Door of Death , would have also let me into Eternity ; and thereby have prevented me from disclosing what I cou'd wish might remain Buried ( as it has done hitherto ) in Eternal Silence . — But since the good Providence of GOD has thought fit to bring me back from the Grave , I thought my self oblig'd to return you an Answer to your Letter . I cannot blame you for wondering at my Long Absence from my own House , which methinks even to Me appears so strange , that had I not those Reasons for it that I have hitherto conceal'd from all the World ( and which I am sure are Iustifiable in the sight of GOD and Man ) I shou'd not know how to answer it to my self . — But your kind Advice to me , To hasten my Return Home , ( which I look upon as an Effect of our Old Friendship ) has at last prevail'd with me to disclose to you what I always resolv'd to have lock'd up in the silent Closet of my own grieved and afflicted Heart . You will not wonder at what I have already writ , when I shall tell you , I must unavoidably reflect upon the great Unkindness of my Honoured Mother-in-Law and my Dear Wife , of whose Reputation both in England and Ireland , your Self are a Witness how very tender I have been : And I had some hopes that what Praises I gave 'em in the Dublin-Scuffle , would have Engag'd 'em Both to have been as kind as I there Represent ' em . But I was mistaken , for they were not to be flatter'd into Kindness . But tho' my Praises were all lost , yet I still hop'd ( for a Drowning Man will catch at any thing ) that the Essay I writ on knowing our Friends in Heaven , ( being more Satyrical ) wou'd have made 'em Generous ; and the rather ( for so I was told ) as my Reverend Neighbour came on purpose to desire 'em not to starve themselves , but rather as they had a Plentiful Fortune , to make some use on 't : And I think this was good Advice , for who 'd starve himself to inrich his Heir ? ( 'T is no Abuse to the good Creatures of God , moderately to enjoy them . ) Sir , You may remember I gave you one of these Essays in Ireland , but I told you nothing of what I design'd by it : Here in Dark Hints , that no body can understand but themselves ( that so I might preserve their Reputation , and shew 'em their Error at the same time ) is a History of the Furious Treatment a ( or Honey-Moon , it being so soon after our Marriage ) that I receiv'd from 'em , from the Second Day I was Marry'd , to the time I Embark'd for Ireland . And had you seen in what manner they began their Reign ( which was too Arbitrary to last any long time ) you 'd think me very obliging to condescend to a Reconciliation . But seeing none cou'd understand that Essay but themselves , I do intend ( if they tye up my Hands from doing Iustice , or Print any false Stories ) to write a Narrative of this March , from the time Madam Nicholas ( my Pious Mother-in-Law ) invited me by Letter b to court her Daughter , to the time their Raving Carriage frighted me to Ireland ; in which shall be inserted the Messages that were sent upon that occasion , and the PRIVATE LETTERS that afterwards past between the Mother and the Daughter ; with a Diary of their Quarrels at my House , which was now chang'd from a Family of Love , to a meer Billingsgate . And this attested by TWO PERSONS that then liv'd in my Family . And ( my Friend ) did you but know ( as all that came to my House observ'd ) in what a Hell I liv'd , for the Four First Months after I was Marry'd , you 'd rather Incourage , than Disswade me , from Writing of this Narrative . For , Mr , Larkin , I tell it you as a Secret , ( tho' I shou'd and will be Master of my own House ) their Furious and Cavetous Treatment has frighted away all my Friends from the Raven , except Two , that come out of Curiosity to see 'em , that they may more sensibly lament my Case ; which you will think doleful , when I tell you , That I am so very VXORIOUS , ( as appears by my living with my First c Wife , 15 years , without hearing or giving one Angry Word ) that had Mother or Daughter but One Obliging Quality , I cou'd yet doat upon ' em . But so it is , my Friend , ( my Two Sicknesses this year hindring me in the disposing of my Remaining Stock ) things are now come to that Upshot , that I must lay my self under the Imputation of a very Vnkind Husband , or else make it appear that my Wife and Mother are very Vnkind to Me. And yet to Expose those for whom I have so Tender a Love , tho' it be only to your self ( in whose Brest I am satisfied I may lock up these Secrets without fear of Discovery ) is that which I know not how to do , without a very great Reluctancy : And yet without my Wife and Mother will be willing to Accommodate things better than at present I have any grounds to hope , what I now only impart to your self , I am afraid I must ere long be forc'd to declare to the whole World in my Iust Vindication . But that I may leave you no longer in the dark , as to the Cause of my Present Retirement — You must know , my Friend , That my being Bound for my First Wive's Sister 's Husband , and Five hundred Pounds loss at Sea , in a Ship that was Cast away ; some hundred Pounds Loss in Printing a large Folio , two thick Volumes of the Edicts of Nants , — and the long and chargeable Sickness of my First Wife , together with the Charges of her Funeral ( for I thought it my Duty to shew a great deal of Love to a Wife that despis'd the World , when it stood in Competition with my Esteem ) had run me considerably into Debt ; which notwithstanding by my own Punctual Payments , and the Prudent Silence of my first Wife , in altogether concealing my taking up Money upon my own Estate , was wholly hid from the World ; so that my Reputation receiv'd no Diminution — Upon this , when I was to be married to my present Wife , I nakedly told my Mother-in-Law that I was 1300 l. in Debt by these fore-mentioned Losses , ( for I had no reason to conceal 'em , having gain'd very considerably in Trade till these happen'd ) I also told her that with my Wife's Portion I design'd to clear my own Estate , whch I also did , and Joyntur'd my Wife therein . Sir , The Fortune that my Mother offer'd me down , was a Thousand Pounds ; but besides that , I insisted on 500 l. more , to pay off my other Debts , and to carry on my Trade : And who cou'd have thought but I shou'd have obtain'd it , my Wife being the only Child of her Mother ? But having , as I said , clear'd my Own Estate , ( which is worth 2000 l. besides the Two Reversions , which in time may be 1800 l. added to it ) and Joyntur'd my Wife therein , I drew up the State of my Case , with respect to my other Debts , and presented it to my Mother , who ( to my great amazement ) was so far from Answering my desires , that she refus'd so much as to read the Paper I drew up ; which was a thing so very Unkind ( I was about to say Barbarous ) that had a Turk presented me his Case , I wou'd have Read it , tho' I had never Answer'd it . When my hopes were thus frustrated with respect to my Mother , I then told the matter to my Wife , and desir'd her to tell her Mother of the Necessity I was under of having 300 l. which she did ; but at the same time said , She 'd Starve before she 'd part with her Ioynture , which yet I never ask'd her to do . — And can you think now I have not Reason to absent my self from my Home , since I cann't go thither with Safety ? You write me word indeed , That my Wife speaks of me with very much Tenderness and Affection ; which I am very apt to believe , for she tells me in her last Letter , Let Business succeed as it please , she does not value that , so that she cou'd but see me at home ; and in the next line adds , I 'm mightily concern'd for your Illness , which is the same with mine ; for you and I are one . But whilst she expresses Unkindness in her Actions , and refuses to do what lies in her Power to make me Easie , her words are but like those of whom St. Iames speaks , Iam. 2. 16. who said , 〈◊〉 warmed and filled , but gave them nothing that 〈◊〉 needful . For the Expressing of much Love , 〈◊〉 shewing None , does but aggravate the Unkindness 〈◊〉 Her Love to me therefore , notwithstanding all 〈◊〉 Tender Expressions , is very questionable ; but 〈◊〉 and my Mothers Love to Money is very apparent 〈…〉 which they are so Tender , that they won't 〈◊〉 with it upon any Terms ; and had rather I 〈◊〉 lie in a Goal for not paying my just Debts , 〈◊〉 supply me with so much as will do it . And 〈◊〉 can be more Ridiculous , than her being so desirous 〈◊〉 my Coming Home , and Continuing there , when She 's the only Occasion of my Absence ? For I do assure you , Mr. Larkin , whatever my Mother and my Wife may make you believe , That if my Mother will let me take up 500 l. upon my Own Estate ; or ( which will be a greater Kindness , and sooner done ) lend me 200 l. and be bound her self for 300 l. more , that so I may pay my Debts and be made Easie , ( which is all I ever desir'd ) I will both immediately come Home , and also continue there , and Absent my self no more . But at present Cohabitation is no ways proper ; for I have such an Abhorrence of any thing that looks Unjust , tho' 't were but in the least Trifle , that I think 't is a Great Sin ( if I am mistaken , I ask Pardon ) for any Man so much as to Try for an Heir that might probably Dispossess any one of a Iust Debt , tho' 't were but of Two Farthings — But being Ambitious to be a Father , if either my Mother or Wife will contribute to my being so upon Honourable Terms , I will believe and say as much of the Reality of their Kindness , as I now do to the contrary ; and will esteem such a Reconciliation the happiest day I ever yet met withal . But if they will rather chuse to expose my Reputation ( which I have kept hitherto Vnblemish'd ) than to comply with those Reasonable Terms I have mention'd , it is evident their Hearts and their Tongues don't go together : For the World knows well enough that my Mother has a FAIR ESTATE , and that my Wife is her only Child ; and to whom upon our Marriage she promis'd to leave it ; which Promise was made as a Motive to make Me consent to the Match : And since upon that Promise I marry'd her Daughter , and Joyntur'd her in a clear Estate of 2000 l. besides the Reversions ; that she shou'd now suffer my Reputation to be slurr'd ( as 't is like to be ) for want of 300 l. is what I believe your Self cou'd never have thought , had it not been told you . But I know well enough they have their OBJECTIONS , with which they satisfie themselves , and I shoul'd not deal fairly by them ( as I always have , and always will do ) should I not inform you what they are . They will say , That if they shou'd do this , there will be no end of it ; for I shall quickly run my self as far in Debt again by Printing ( being what I so much delight in . ) But to obviate this , I answer , That I desire but 500 l. in all , of which I shall use 375 to clear the Bonds , and what I owe in Trade , and then there will be a well-furnish'd House , a clear Stock , a good Estate in Land , and 125 l. in Money to Trade withal ; and that I may not be tempted to exceed those Bounds , I have resolved never to exceed 50 l. at once either in Printers or Stationers Debts . And if by Trading I shall happen to run that out , I will give over Trading , and live on what I have ; which in Conjunction with my MOTHER's PROMISE , d is more by 6000 l. than ever we are likely to spend , having neither Child nor Chick . They may also object , That tho' I have Ioyntur'd my Wife in my Estate , yet I still keep the Writings in my own hand , and will not let them have them . To this I Answer , 'T is true , I do so ; but the Reason is , Because whilst I see they have no regard either to my Ease or Reputation , by enabling me to pay my just Debts , I cann't look upon 'em as my Friends , and upon that account have kept my Writings from 'em [ and they are now in the hands of an Eminent Citizen . ] But if they will Answer my Expectation , with respect to the Particulars above mention'd , I will , if my Mother desires it , put all my Writings into her hands , which at once takes off that Objection . Perhaps they 'll also say , That I have receiv'd Money from Ireland , for my Venture thither , that might have paid my Debts without their help . To this I Answer , The several Debts I contracted for Paper and Printing since my second Marriage — The Moneys which I paid that I took up upon Bond , to furnish out my Venture for Ireland ; The Charges I was at in Ireland , for the King's Customs , Binders , Printers , five Servants , and the Sale , was about 440 l. The great quantity of Money I lost in Ireland , through the Dishonesty of some I trusted ; The great Losses I have had in several Books I have Printed since my Return for England ; The Sums I have paid for New Copies , of which Sir William Temple's Letters is one , and the Whole Duty of Man in Verse , is another , &c. My Dear Friend , These several Payments and Disappointments , together with the vast Charges I have been at , in defraying Two Fits of Sickness this Summer [ for had I neglected my self , I had perish'd , my Wife nor Mother never sending once to know if I wanted any thing in my Two Sicknesses ] have ingross'd all the Moneys I receiv'd in Ireland , except a small Sum remaining for my present Support ; and I cann't see , as I told my Wife , why these Disappointments shou'd Diminish her Love , for they Increase mine . — However , 'T was by Reason of these Disappointments , that I never paid off the Bonds I had told 'em of , nor gave 'em any Account of my Irish-Venture : For seeing my Mother and Wife so unkindly refus'd to Assist me , ( chusing rather to venture my Life on the Irish-Seas , tho' I was but newly Marry'd ) I thought they shew'd a very Selfish Temper , so Industriously to enquire about what I had receiv'd , but no ways to concern themselves about what I wanted : And , which adds to their Unkindness , ( if they don't permit me to do Iustice ) I had several Proposals made of a Thousand Pounds [ without 〈…〉 rejected for the sake of my Present Wife . Shou'd I have any Debates with 'em upon this Subject , it wou'd run us into New Quarrels , and therefore I Resolve [ for my own Quiet ] to forget all their Provocations ; and sure I am , Ill Husbandry [ for Losses in Trade cann't be so Accounted ] can be no excuse for their being Unkind ; perhaps a Drunken Swearing Husband might have frighted 'em to a Complyance ; but I do averr , I was never disorder'd with Drinking in my whole Life ; and Challenge all the Servants that have liv'd with me , to prove one single instance to the contrary : — Nay , Mr. Larkin , I appeal even to you , whether ever you saw any thing in all the time that you have been acquainted with me [ which is 20 years ] that look'd like Extravagance ? Nay , I 'm sure , you have rather thought me too Covetous , but it was because you knew not where the Shoo pinch'd me ; and had I not met with these Disappointments in Trade , I intended not to have troubled them : And yet why shou'd this be thought such a Trouble ? You know I was bound for a Thousand Pound for my first Wive's Sisters Husband [ at my Wife's desire ] and forc'd to pay a great part of it , and yet never lov'd my Wife the worse , nor once upbraided her with it , as she declar'd upon her Death-Bed . My Wife and Mother have now such an Opportunity to oblige me as may never fall out again ; but I desire they 'd remember that the 500 l. I am asking for , is not Money Given , but only Lent Me , and that upon my Own Estate , in which my Wife , [ a very sickly Woman ] has no further Interest than her bare Life : But tho my Dear has no more than her Life in my Estate , yet her free and generous granting my present Request , will be so gratefully taken by me , that I shall make it the Business of my whole Life to study to Requite it . — I say , Provided it be done Freely , and without Reflections . There is indeed a way of doing Kindnesses that takes away the Kindness of the thing done ; but when I see a Kindness is done Kindly , there 's nothing can oblige me more — Nor will the Kindness be more to me than to my DEAR SPOUSE ; for , a Wife shines by her Husbands Honour , but must be darkened if he suffer an Ecclipse . — If she believed this , she 'd be forward to grant my Request ; but whether she does or no , I look upon it an indispensible Duty to pay my Just Debts , and cann't die with a good Conscience till it be done ; and wou'd no more have put my self out of a Capacity of doing it , than I wou'd have Eaten Fire , had I not thought I shou'd have had that Money from my Mother which would have inabled me to do it . And do you Judge whether I had not Reason to think so , for when her Attorney , whom I mentioned before , ask'd her before our Marriage to lend me 300 l. she did not say she would not , which made him tell me , he did not doubt but she wou'd lend it . I say , looking upon the Payment of my just Debts , as I do , to be an Indispensible Duty , if both my Wife and Mother refuse to assist me in it , I must Endeavour to raise it from my Estate by Cutting down the Timber , there being several Acres of Wood upon it , which being sold , I doubt not will raise me a considerable Sum. 'T is true , I am very loth to do this , because it will disgrace the Estate ; but seeing they first expose my Reputation , why should I be solicitous about it ? And I have no ways left to help my self , but either this , or else the Selling the Reversion of it after my Wives Life : And for my self , I am no ways solicitous ; for , I' d rather Beg , than not pay my Debts . This , and our Living from each other , will be the unhappy Consequences of their Refusing to assist me : When on the contrary , shou'd they comply with my Desires , we might live happily together , and the Estate kept Free and Undisfigured . Besides , if Providence shou'd take me hence before her , I shou'd think I cou'd not do better than to leave all to her , who was willing to part with all to serve me , and make me Easie. But if they do not agree to these Terms , instead of Marrying a Wife of a Fortune , [ as many a man has done , whose Estate is not worth so many Pence as mine is worth Hundreds ] I have fairly married my own Ruine , and must have the Scandal of Owing ( I won't say Breaking for ) 300 l. tho my own Estate with the Reversions , is worth ten times more , besides her MOTHERS PROMISE of giving me Sampsil , ( which is a Noble Estate it self ) and the several hundreds she Dyed Possess'd of , which I am so far from desiring , that wou'd she but make me easie , there 's not a Person in the World wou'd more heartily desire her Life than my self . But the Whole Duty of Man tells us , that A Promise is a Debt , and I thought I might depend upon it , ( and therefore refus'd a Note she offer'd to secure Sampsil to me and my Wife , in Case she Marry'd her self ) when made to influence such a Solemn thing , as a Marriage . Neither do I doubt , at her Death , the Performance of the Marriage Promise , tho she shou'd think good , to make me a Vagabond in the mean time . But though at present I labour under the Misfortune of being forc'd to ask a Favour at their hands [ I word it so , for were it in my Power , and I saw them so pinch'd as I am , I shou'd voluntarily propose doing that which I am forc'd to intreat for , and perhaps in vain . ] Yet my Comfort is , the Printing of this Letter will let the World ( and my Few Creditors ) see that I wou'd be Honest , if my Mother , or Wife either , had so much Love for me as to let me ; and therefore all the Injuries others suffer by me , will lie at their Doors ; which will be a greater Clog upon their Consciences than they 'll be able to bear ; and therefore I hope they 'll consider that Covetousness [ especially in a Husband or Wife ] is a more provoking Sin than is generally thought ; for how often have SMITHFIELD-BARGAINS been made , to add Land to Land , not Love to Love ; and to unite Houses to Houses , not Hearts to Hearts ; which hath been the Occasion that Men have turn'd Monsters , and Women Devils . Thus have I fairly represented my Whole Case , with respect to my Honoured Mother and my Dear Wife . I shall not need to desire you to keep it private , having told it as a Secret [ unless you shall think it proper to shew it to my Wife and Mother ] for I would not it should be made Publick whilst there remains any hopes of an Accommodation ; and therefore to question your Faithfulness herein , wou'd look like a Reflection upon you ; or rather upon my self , in communicating a Secret of this Importance to one that I thought coudn't keep it . But I have no such thoughts , only having been thus free with you , let me beg your Advice herein . — I cannot think but with Extream Trouble , of doing any thing that may Expose my Dear Wife and Mother , whom [ upon their Compliance with my Just Desires ] I cou'd Embrace in the Arms of a Sincere and Vnfeigned Affection , and bury all that has hitherto look'd like Vnkindness , in the Grave of Eternal Oblivion . But since Self-Preservation is the Great Fundamental Principle and Law of Nature , if they refuse to comply with me herein , and go about through their inordinate Love of Money , to Banish me from my own Home , and Expose my Reputation to the World ; I shall then be under a Necessity of Exposing them to the World in their proper Colours , being furnish'd [ as I hinted before ] with Materials for that Purpose , but they shall never be Publish'd , if I can but meet with that Compliance from my Wife , which both the Law of God and Man has made her Duty . These things , I think to lay before my Wife and her Mother , but wou'd willingly have your Thoughts about it first , which I shall very much depend upon , as being one whom I always found my Faithful Friend : Pray be not long in sending me your Best Advice , for at present my Mind is very much disorder'd , and the Disorder of my Mind , has ' twice this Summer , like to have prov'd fatal to my Body . I am glad to hear your good Wife is come safe to London , and shall be glader to see her there , when my Circumstance will permit me . I have only to add , That my very Bowels Yearn towards my Dear Wife ; and if you can direct me how to 〈…〉 as my De●res , with Respect to the 〈…〉 Debts , may be Answer'd , and a good Agreement with Her and her Mother Effected , whereby we may live in that Vnity , Love and Concord , which might make us happy both here and hereafter , you will Eternally Oblige Your Truly Loving Friend , John Dunton . Decem. 8. 1699 Reflections upon the Carriage of my Wife and Mother , after they had seen the Fore-going LETTER . THe foregoing Letter I writ to Mr. Larkin , in Answer to one of his to me , who after he had read it [ unknown to me ] went with it to my Wife and Mother ; who both refus'd to Comply with my just Desires , either of Suffering me to take up 500 l. upon my own Estate , or to lend me such a Sum out of her own heaps ; tho besides shewing my Letter , he us'd several Pathetical Arguments to incite them to it , but all in Vain . On the 9th Instant coming to London , I sent for Mr. Larkin , who acquainted me , That [ hoping to serve me thereby ] he had shew'd my Letter to my Mother and Wife , and that they had heard it through , but without any success ; which he admired at , seeing , as he express'd it , There were Arguments enough in it , if not to melt a Stone , yet at least to carry a Cause where a Wife , that was continually saying , She had been Miserable had she Married any Man but Dunton , a was the sole Iudge . And certainly unless they have seared Consciences , which I am apt to fear , by their unnatural Carriage , and something I conceal till I am further Provok'd they 'll one day think it their Duty to Answer my Reasonable Request , and to move for a Reconciliation : And to encourage 'em to it , I here declare ( tho they have had no regard to my Reputation ) I am yet ready to forgive 'em , tho I find it the hardest Task o Life ; For by reason of their Covetousness , they have Banish'd me from a House that I thought a Paralise ▪ and what has cost me several Hundred Pounds , will now be sold for a Trifle . Then let the World judge , considering what Fair Offers I made 'em , whether I had not reason to be Mov'd ; especially since my Wife told me at parting , She 'd Burn rather than Assist me . Yet for all this Matchless Provocation , when-ever my Wife casts a Longing Look towards her Husband , and asks Pardon for Loving the World more than him , I shall leap to see the returning Prodigal , and run to meet her with open Arms. And if I may hope for this Reconciliation from the Consideration of their Covetous Tempers , I have all the Reason in the World to expect it ; for I shall next prove they were fully satisfied with my Estate . And this is Evident by the Letter sent to my Mother-in-Law , by her own Attorney , which is this following — viz. Madam , I Received Yours , and am now to tell You , I cou'd not have an Answer from Chesham , till last Monday ; but now I have an Account of Mr. Dunton's Estate , according to his own Particulars . Which is all at present from Your Servant , I. R. So much for my Estate in Land. — As to my Stock , she said she did not so much concern her self about that , as my Land ; and indeed I don't know why she shou'd ; for my Land ( which her Friend declares was what I related ) was a sufficient Ioynture for her Thousand Pound . However , as I had satisfy'd her about my Land , so I was willing to give her the best Account I cou'd of my Stock ; and accordingly I told her my Copies and Books I had Printed , had cost me 2000 l. and if I added Three , 't was no more than was True , ( I having Printed many Hundred Books ) But tho my Stock was thus Bulky , as is sufficiently seen by my Irish-Venture , and the remaining Stock which I left behind , yet withal I told her I cou'd not say , if my Stock was forc'd to be Sold , that it wou'd yield me 400 l. for in such Cases ( as was seen in the Fate of my Remaining Stock ) Books sell little more than for waste Paper . However , That part of my Stock I sent to Dublin , yielded 400 l. and a great deal more , as Mr. Larkin knows , that was present at the Sale : So that my Land was as much , and my Stock better , than I represented it . — But I cann't help Losses and Disappointments in Trade , and wou'd be easie under them ; For not being able to Govern Events , I Endeavour to Govern my self . — Neither dare I rail at Providence , as they do , who abuse their Friends for not being Successful . A Word to those Gentlemen to whom I 'm Engag'd . I Shall next in a particular manner addresse my self to those Gentlemen to whom I 'm Oblig'd , and upon whose Patience ( by reason of a Covetous Mother and Vnkind Wife ) I am forc't to Trespass a little , which , Next to the Unkindness of my Wife , is the only thing in the World that Troubles me . — I have ever had a great Aversion to be in Debt , in small as well as in greater matters ; and for that reason have often paid a Debt twice over , for fear I had not paid it once ; but that which I so much dreaded , is now come upon me ; For tho I respect my Wife and Mother as much , or , were it possible , more than they love the World , yet you see , Gentlemen , by my Letter to Mr. Larkin , that their Caresses before Marriage are all forgot , and that the Tears of a Husband have no Rhetorick in 'em , where Money is the thing desir'd . 'T is true , they have a FAIR ESTATE , but ha'nt the Soul to do good with it either to themselves or others . But 't is no more than what Solomrn tells us , Eccles. 5. 13 , 14. There is ( says he ) a sore Evi . which I have seen under the Sun , namely , Riches kept for the Owners thereof to their hurt — But those Riches perish by Evil Travel . For my own part , I can truly say , I have found more Pleasure in dividing a small Fortune with my Friends , than in Hoarding up , or Enjoying the greatest Treasures without them . The greatest Benefit that we can receive from Riches , is , their inabling us in our LIFE TIME to do more good than those that have less ; and therefore as I never waited for DEAD-MENS-SHOES , f so I hope mine are as little desir'd ; which did the Miser consider , he 'd grow more Generous than he is now Sneaking ; or at least so kind as not to starve himself . I cann't say my Wife or Mother have starv'd themselves , ( for I found 'em alive when I came home ) and to do 'em Justice , They Never Fight ; but 't is evident by my Mothers denying my small Request , that she loves nothing but her Money : Her FIRST SON-IN-LAW ( a Person of Great Worth ) found her of this Temper ( to his Great Disappointment ) and I cou'd say something of HER CARRIAGE TO HER HUSBAND , &c. But here 's enough to convince the world ( more especially my Neighbours in Iewen-street ) how falsly she represented my Last Farewel ; and her Barbarous Treatment appears in nothing so much , as in her aggravating those Heats at parting , of which ( as I can prove by several Witnesses ) She and her Daughter were the Sole Occasion . It cou'd not satisfie e'm to be the Cause of my Ruine , ( for is'nt it plain , when they cou'd so easily Prevent it , and wou'd not ? ) but they must afterwards murther my Reputation . This is such a Barbarous thing for a Wife to be guilty of , that I never heard any thing like it . — And it appears yet the more unkind , as I 'm told yesterday of a young Lady that ( of her own accord ) sold her Iewels , Watch , Rings , ( instead of Raving that her Husband had got 'em ) to pay off his Just Debts . But tho I have nothing to boast of , of this kind , yet my comfort is , ALL I owe in the World , is now brought into the Narrow Compass of 250 l. For being obliged in Conscience to secure to a near Relation 150 l. ( as 't was the greatest part of her Maintenance ) I have by the said Security paid all I owe , to the Sum of 250 l. and that 's owing to Persons that are so far from blaming what I ve done , that they are amaz'd ( as every body was that knew 'em ) how I cou'd live with 'em so long . Three of these Persons have sent me word that they are so well satisfyed of my Honest Intentions , that they 'l never Touch a Hair of my Head ; and I don't doubt but I shall meet with the like Compassion from all the rest . 'T is not long since I told a Person , that sued to me for Pity , that I 'd Sign his Liberty with as many Hands ( if I had 'em ) as I have Hairs on my Head. Gent. I don't doubt but my Readiness to Serve others in their Distress , has been the occasion of that Generous Treatment I receive from you . However I do assure you , that the good Opinion you have of me , shall not be lost ; for that I may do you Justice , I am willing to sell even mySelf ( to the very Skin ) to Pay you : 'T is true , the Sum is so very Little , I owe now , that I 'm asham'd to think that my Wife and Mother shou'd have such a Mean Spirit as to suffer me to be Expos'd for it : But Gentlemen , I ever thought there was as much Iustice in a Penny as a Pound ; and shall be so scrupulous to pay every one to a half Farthing , with the Interest Money , ( and Interest upon Interest , if demanded ) But 〈◊〉 under a necessity to entreat your Patience till next Christmas , having two Barns to build , and such unavoidable Repairs , as will devour all my Rent , but what is necessary for my own Support ; but at Christmas ( in the year 1700 , ) I 'll clear all the Interest that shall then be due ; and if Gods Providence does not work my Deliverance before that , ( for if I Dye before that time , I 've Will'd that the Reversions shall be Sold as soon as ever I am Buried , to pays my Debts ; or if my Wife shou'd Dye , I can take up 1000 l. in a Weeks Time ) I 'll then set upon Felling my Woods to a single Twigg , and I don't doubt but they 'll pay the 250 l. or if they don't , by the Lady-Day after , I 'll Sell the Reversions of my whole Estate , or else Beg from Door to door , till such time that the Income of my Estate , by Equal Divisions , has paid my Debts ; but , Gentlemen , I do believe I 'm the only Instance in this Age , that has starv'd in the midst of Plenty . Sure no Man will be so unkind as to question the Sincerity of these Promises ; for tho I cann't do more than I here promise , yet what I promise , you may depend upon . Neither can any think I had any Dishonourable Design in making a Ioynture of my Estate ; for I shou'd have been more Fool than Knave , had I Marry'd with a design to be ruin'd for 300 l. when my bare word ( Before I fell into Misers Hands ) wou'd have pass'd for 1000 l. Thus , Gentlemen , have I laid before you my Whole Case . And seeing my Ruine is , of the two , a more Melancholy thing , than the Delay of your Moneys for a few Months , I hope you 'll send me word g ( for , 't is all that 's left to comfort me ) That you are fully satisfy'd with what I 've promis'd . And as to my Wife , tho she has turn'd me over to the mercy of Strangers ( which , without Repentance , will bring a Curse upon her whole Estate ) yet I still have a Tenderness for her , and think it my Duty , tho her Mother be worth Thousands , to take a most Particular Care that she want for nothing ; and in order to it , I told her Mother , before Mr. Larkinn and several Others , That l'd pay her for her Board in the Country , as she had paid me in the City , which was Four Shillings a Week for Meat , Drink , Washing , and Lodging ; and I further told her , when I was settled , which I hope will be by next Midsummer , that I 'd send for her . And tho she has said before Mr. Larkin and others , She 'd not come ; yet I 'll try her again , and I give this Publick Notice of it , that she may have no Pretence to be out of the way , but may leave word with Mr. Blackstone in Bull-Head-Cour't in Iewen street , where I may send to her ; for seeing she might have liv'd with me in Splendor and Reputation , and wou'd not , I shall prove it her Duty to live with me in Adversity ▪ Or if she refuses to come to me , I shall Print such an Advertisement as Mr Godfrey Lee did in the Flying Post , about his Wive's Elopement . Gentlemen , I did all I cou'd to prevent things coming to this Extremity : And therefore , tho my Wife and Mother had return'd a very Provoking Answer to that Letter I sent Mr. Larkin , yet being resolved to try my Wife's Kindness a little further , I writ the following Letter to her ; and because Mr. Larkin was only ( as yet ) acquainted with our Affairs , and shew'd my Wife the Letter I sent to him , I desir'd him to give himself the trouble of being the Bearer of this also ; To which he readily consented . My Letter to my WIFE . MY DEAR ! I Came to Town last Night , and sent for my Friend Mr. Larkin about Ten at Night ; who told me he had been with you and my Mother , and had shew'd you my Letter to him , wherein I gave him a true state of my Case ; and tho' it was what I did not design he shou'd have done , yet having done it , he has thereby sav'd me the Labour , and can justifie to the World , That my Mother has Refus'd to lend me any Assistance to Enable me to be honest , or to make me Easie ; and that she Values me , and you so little , that rather than let me take up 500 l. upon my Own Estate , or lend me so much of hers , she will suffer my Reputation , and yours too ( for to use your own Words , You and I are One ) to be Expos'd to the World ; which when once done , is a Dammage she 'll scarce be able to repair : However I can Iustifie my self in all that I have done ; and resolve to be as honest as I can , till I can be so honest as I wou'd : In order to which I will Print my CASE with all convenient speed , and let the World see that all those Allegations under which she wou'd cover her self , are but like so many Cobwebs , which the Beesom of Truth will quickly sweep away : And I am sorry that in this Vnkindness of my Mother , you shou'd take part with her against me , that is , against your self ; For a Husband ought to be nearer and dearer than a Mother ; and had you esteem'd me so , and dealt as such by me , I had had no need to trouble my Mother : As to what you make your Excuse , That then your Mother would have given you nothing , if you can believe she wou'd have been so UNNATURAL , yet it can be no Excuse , except such a one as the Apostle Condemns , which is a doing Evil that Good may come of it . Then , Prethee , my Dear , Let my Mother Act as she pleases , let not thee and I ( who are both extraordinary Crazy , and can live but a few Years ) make such a poor use of the World as to Hugg and Embrace it . Besides , if you don't Consent to the making me easie , how can I think your Love is what you pretend ? Your shewing so much Love to the World , is neither pleasing to God nor Man ; and consider ( for you pretend to Religion ) how t will rejoyce our Enemies , to see us Quarrel with our very Blessings , and to make even Happiness it self to Disappoint us . — You know , my Dear , Madam C — y Sold her Estate un-aks'd , to oblige her Spouse ; and indeed the Design of Ioyntures is to defend against bad Husbands , and not to Ruin those that are kind , and wou'd be honest , if their Wives wou'd let ' em . I knew a Wife that wou'd often say , What does a Joynture signifie to a Woman that loves her Husband ? When Man and Wife love so little , that the one is unconcerned in the others Afflictions , there generally follows a Blast upon all they undertake . My Dear , All our Distresses of Body and Mind shou'd be so Equally Divided , h that all yours shou'd be mine , and all mine shou'd be yours : Mr. Rochford Marry'd us for better for worse , for Richer for Poorer ; and [ as you well observe ] We are One Flesh ; and therefore shou'd be no more offended with the Words , or Failings and Wants of each other , than we wou'd be had they been our own . For my own share , I solemnly declare , Were you seiz'd with a Fit of Sickness that requir'd the Advice of the whole Colledge of Physicians , and all the Physick in the Apothecaries Shops , I 'd sell my Estate to procure it . And why shou'd you doubt it ? For did I not spend near 100 l. [ tho I had but a thousand with you ] in 〈◊〉 related to my Courtship , and your coming home ? So 〈◊〉 I cann't imagine what your Mother means by the mighty Presents she talks of ; For I don't think all that she ever gave us [ besides the Thousand Pound ] ever amounted to Ten Pounds : For as to the 40 l. she paid for your Admittance to my Copyhold-Land , 't was no Service to me , as I then told her , but Money purely flung in the dirt ; for I was Admitted before I knew her , So that I had but a Thousand Pound , tho she boasts of more ; and that Thousand is a dear Purchase , if my Ruine must pay for 't . All that I shall add , is , That you must not blame me for what Methods I shall take : For 't will look very Ridiculous for you [ or your Mother either ] to blame me for that which you can prevent , but won't . And what-ever you may think of the matter , I cann't see that my Love to you will acquit me from being Iust to those 〈◊〉 whom I am Indebted . I have thought fit to send these Lines by Mr. Larkin , as well to perswade you to what is both your Duty and Interest , as to acquaint you that I will be with you my self by and by , to make the Last Offers ; that so , if possible , Things may be Accommodated before it be too late : For if my Reputation be once Publickly Expos'd , it wll be to no purpose to talk of Terms . Which is all , till I see you , from him who resolves [ in spite of all your Unkindness ] to continue Your most Affectionate Husband till Death , IOHN DVNTON . Dec. 10. 1699. My Wife upon reading of this Letter , shew'd her self as inexorable as her Mother , telling Mr. Larkin [ as she did me afterwards ] That her Mother made her swear , before she was Married , that she wou'd never suffer her Husband to take up a Penny upon her Ioynture , in case of the greatest Necessity ; and threatning that if she did , she wou'd never leave her a Farthing of what she had . The CONCLVSION . MY Letters meeting with no Success , either from Mother or Daughter , I was then resolved to go my self , which accordingly I did : For tho my Letters were sent in vain , yet I did not know but by going in PERSON I might move Compassion , if not in my Mother , yet at least in my Wife , who in several Letters had so passionately desir'd to see me ; yet still my Fears were more than my Hopes ; for I knew how their Hearts were GLV'D to the World , and therefore cou'd not expect to see much Affection , or that Tenderness which ought to be between a Man and his Wife : So that methoughts I went to my own House ( whither , some years ago , I went with such Pleasure and Delight , as being sure to be receiv'd with a thousand Welcomes ) just like a man going to his Execution ; and so it accordingly happen'd , for when I came to my House , whither I was accompany'd by several Friends , which render'd my Farwel the more dismal ) I found both Mother and Daughter in the same Mind Mr. Larkin had done before ▪ my Mother declaring to those Persons then present , That she wou'd be pull'd Limb frem Limb , before she wou'd lend a Farthing , or suffer me to take up a Penny upon my Estate ; my Wife at the same time declaring , SHE WOV'D BE BVRN'D BEFORE SHE 'D LET ME ; which I confess put me into a Great Passion , for I am but Flesh and Blood , and tho I can bear long , cann't bear always : So that now , for about Five Hours ( which I cou'd ne'er say before , since my Second Marriage ) I was Sole Master of my own House . Having staid with 'em about five Hours , and heard a great deal of Raving , I was so sick on 't , that I cou'd stay no longer : So I took my leave ( for that Night ) in the following words : Mother , 'T is now but a few hours before my Reputation will be Slurr'd ; which seeing neither you nor my Wise will prevent , I have only to add , I pray God bless you Both ; and so ( with thanking you for my Ruine ) bid you Farwel ; not doubting but the GOD of my Life , who knows the Sincerity of my Heart , and Designs , to pay my Debts , and in all things to keep a Conscience void of offence towards GOD and Man , will notwithstanding all your Vnkindness , inable me to accomplish what I so earnestly desire . After uttering these Words , to shew I was in Charity with them , I Saluted 'em both , and gave 'em a Second Farwel ; and at parting I told my Mother the Story of Midas , who ( as the Poets feign ) starv'd in the midst of Plenty : And so Mother ( said I ) do you deal with me . And with those words , I took leave of both Wife and Mother ; and then bid Farwel to the Black Raven , the most Pleasant House that I ever dwelt in . I know some that can creep for Interest , will blame me for Publishing This CASE ; Say they , Who wou'd lose such a Fair Estate at the Mannor of Sampsil , for want of a little Submission ? To this I answer , A Man may bear till his heart breaks ; and having us'd all the gentle Methods I cou'd think of , to no purpose , the Publishing of This Case is the only way I have left to Reform ' em . Besides , I think it my Duty to prefer a Quiet Life , and the doing of Justice , to the Fine Mannor of Sampsil ; for I can be happy without Sampsil , but I shou'd never be so , shou'd I prove dishonest . — But say I had a Mind to Sampsil , I 'm sure to Publish this Case , is the only way to insure it ; for when my Mother reads it , ( wherein I have conceal'd abundance of things relating to her ) she 'll find that Sampsil , and her Vseless Heaps , won't be able to repair that Damage I now suffer by her Matchless Cruelty . — Besides , I 've prov'd already , that A PROMISE IS A DEBT , and she having promis'd me Sampsil , in a solemn manner , I cann't see how she shou'd dye with a Safe Conscience , 〈…〉 me of , it ▪ So that I have no fear of 〈◊〉 of Sampsil , ( and for the Houses at St. Albans , they were given to my Wife after her Mothers Death ) who knows she may with as much reason make bold with a Disgust to Protest paying a due Debt , to any Person that does not humour or please her , as not perform an Absolute Promise ; and Conscience must needs tell them so that make it . 'T is very Ridiculous , after a Promise is past , to bring in Conditions . I might be Endless upon this Subject ; but , as Cowley says , I am almost choak'd with the Super-abundance of the matter : Too much Plenty impoverishes me , as it does them . So that I have the same Reasons , or greater , to expect Sampsil , as ever I had . And therefore whoever blames me for Publishing of This Case , I shan't think 'em my Friends . I shall only add , There 's not a Line in this CASE but what I 'll prove , and assert with my Last Breath ; and therefore if my Mother or Wife think good to reply to it , they cann't do 't in a better time ; for they have Banish'd me from my House and Home , and where I Sojourn , I have nothing else to do but to Answer them ; but let me have the BEST CAVSE in the World , I must expect that men of a Narrow Soul will be raising of Lyes , and that my Enemies will triumph over me . But I bless GOD , Ill Husband●● having had no hand in my Ruine , I am yet aboue such Treatment ; for the Sun that Sets , will Rise again ; or if it don 't ▪ I have some Friends that have Souls Brave enough to know a Friend in Adversity . However , I shall now have an opportunity to know who my Friends are , which while the World Smil'd , I cou'd never discern . Or suppose the Worst , I can Write away my Melancholy Hours ; and seeing 't is far better to give some account of Time [ tho' to little Purpose ] than none at-all , I shall now enter upon Writing The Art of Living and Dying Incognito . And there , I End. To the Reverend Mr. Blackstone in Bull-Head-Court in Iewen-street . Dear Sir , THE Obligingness of Your Temper , and your being a Peace-Maker , not only by your Office , as a Minister , but by your Natural Inclination ; which , together with the good Opinion my Wife and Mother ( as well as every body else ) has of you , has prevail'd with me to desire that Favour of you , as to see if it be possible to bring 'em to a Sense of their Duty , and to a Compliance with my Reasonable Demands : In order to which , I wou'd desire you to read my Case to 'em , which I have here sent you in Print , and which will be Publish'd to Morrow . But if upon hearing it , they are willing to grant my Request , I do hereby declare to you , That upon such an Assurance , I will yet Suppress this Paper , tho Printed , and will Burn the Impression . For even Matrimonial Quarrels , provided they are heartily Forgiven , make the Marry'd Couple but love better : The Falling out of Lovers ( and such Married Folks are , or shou'd be ) is not only the Renewer ; but Increaser of Love. Or if any angry Words shou'd here after arise , I 'm for following your Advice , to let 'em no more take Air , than Fire in a Cellar ; I 'd not have 'em told so much as to her Mother , but let the Pillow alone decide ' em . And if we'd yet be happy , 't is my Advice ( so my Self , as well as to my Wife ) That we 're never Angry together : For if only one is Angry , 't is the Easier to Agree — However , in This Case , I desire we may both learn the Art of Memory , and the greater Art of Forgetfulness , and we shall not fail of being Happy still ; that is , Remember all the kind things , Forget all that 's harsh or ungrateful ; at least never Repeat 'em , which will be the best way to Forget ' em . But if they still continue Obdurate to all Advances I have made towards a Comfortable Living with my Dear Wife , I am satisfy'd that I have done my Duty , and that the Fault will lie at their Doors . And this Letter to your self will be a further Testimony against ' em . Which is all , at present , from Reverend Sir , Your most Obliged Humble Servant , John Dunton Dec. 20 1699. Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A36897-e260 a This is own'd in two Letters sent to me in Ireland , and which I 'll Print if I see Occasion . b A Copy of which I 'll Print if they Answer this . c Read her Funeral Sermon entituled , The Character of a good Woman , and you 'll be convinc'd of the Truth of this . d As I shall prove by the Letter that was sent to me by her Order . Notes for div A36897-e3350 a As several that heard her can testify . Notes for div A36897-e4010 f As I have prov'd in An Essay upon dead-Mens-Shoes , 〈◊〉 ready for the Press . g In a Letter directed for me , to M. Kenswel's House in Little-East-cheap . h As I have largely proved in my Essay on knowing our Friends in Heaven .