Counsellor Manners, his last legacy to his son enriched and embellished with grave adviso's, pat histories, and ingenious proverbs, apologues, and apophthegms / by Josiah Dare. Dare, Josiah, 17th cent. 1673 Approx. 224 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 84 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2007-10 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A36779 Wing D247 ESTC R23852 07916006 ocm 07916006 40406 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A36779) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 40406) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1205:4) Counsellor Manners, his last legacy to his son enriched and embellished with grave adviso's, pat histories, and ingenious proverbs, apologues, and apophthegms / by Josiah Dare. Dare, Josiah, 17th cent. [5], 156, [2] p. Printed for Edward Gough and are to be sold by most booksellers in London, London : 1673. "Licensed, October 26, 1672, R.L."--colophon. Errata: p. [157] Reproduction of original in the Bristol Public Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Conduct of life. Courtesy. 2006-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2006-09 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2006-11 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2006-11 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2007-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Counsellor Manners HIS LAST LEGACY TO HIS SON : Enriched and Embellished WITH Grave Adviso's , Pat Histories , and Ingenious Proverbs , Apologues , and Apophthegms . By JOSIAH DARE . Sunt bona , sunt quaedam mediocria , sunt mala plu●a , Quae legis hic : aliter non fit , Avite , liber . Mart. Lib. 1. Epig. XVII . LONDON , Printed for Edward Gough , and are to be sold by most Booksellers in London . 1673. THE PREFACE TO THE READER . Courteous Reader , I Shall not according to the usual mode of those Epistles which are prefixed to printed Books , crave the patronage of any person whatsoever to this : for I hope that thou thy self , when thou hast perused it , wilt patronize it , considering the honesty and innocency of it ; neither shall I dedicate it to any Right Worshipful or Right Honourable person , because I think it incongruous to present a small Book to a great Personage : Nor will I beg Pardon of any man for this my scribble , since I might have prevented it , if I would have refrained from dipping my Pen in mine Inkhorn , and indeed I esteem them unworthy to be pardoned who consultedly commit a fault , and then desire to be excused for it . All that I desire of thee is that thou wouldst take in good part , what is here offered thee in good will : The design of all Theologues in the Pulpit is , to teach men Grace ; and it is mine out of it , to teach them Manners , and truly a moral life is a fair step to an holy one , and a good Behaviour to a sanctified Conversation . Unmannerly Clowns are , like Bears Cubs , meer lumps of flesh , till they be lickt into a more comely shape ; and ill tutored persons are like rough hewn Statues you shall scarce perceive the lineaments of a man in them , till they be wrought smooth and polished . Good manners make the man , Quoth William of Wickham . Be a man never so brave in his Apparel , if his Deportment be not answerable , he is as ridiculous an Object as a Monkey or a Baboon in a Scarlet Coat , with a Tiffany Ruff about his neck ; good Manners adorn those very things that most adorn us , for what is a Gold Ring in a Swines snout . Since then I present thee here with such Jewels as will set thee forth and gain thee honour and respect amongst all persons , with whom thou shalt converse ; I hope thou wilt in manners accept them kindly , as well for thine own sake , as for his who here subscribes himself Thine affectionate friend and humble Servant JOSIAH DARE . THE Grave Counsellors LAST LEGACY TO HIS SON . THere dwelt sometimes in this Island of Britain , an ancient Gentleman , called Counsellor Manners , a Man of a very fair Estate , who being both aged , and sickly , found such weakness in himself , that he thought Nature would yield unto Death , and Physick unto his Diseases : this Gentleman had one only Son , who nothing resembled the Qualities of his Father ; which the old Man perceiving , he caused him to be called to his Bed side , and the Chamber being voided , he brake with him in these Terms . 1. My Son thou art too young to Die , and I am too old to Live , and therefore as Nature must of necessity pay her Debt to Death , so must she also pay her Devotion to thee ; whom I alive , had to be the Comfort of mine Age , and whom alone I must leave behind me , to be the only Monument of my Name , and Honour . If thou couldst as well conceive the care of a Father , as I can level at the Nature of a Child , or were I as able to utter my Affection towards thee , as thou oughtest to shew thy Duty to me , then wouldst thou desire my Life , to enjoy my Counsel ; and I should correct thy Life , to amend thy Conditions : yet so tempered , as that neither Rigour might detract any thing from Affection in me , or Fear any whit from thee in Duty . But seeing my self so feeble , that I cannot live to be thy Guide , I am resolved to give thee such Counsel as may do thee good : wherein I shall shew my care , and discharge my Duty . My good Son , thou art to receive by my Death Wealth , and by my Counsel Wisdom ; and I would thou wert as willing to imprint the one in thy Heart , as thou wilt be ready to bear the other in thy Purse : to be rich is the Gist of Fortune , to be wise the Grace of God. Have more mind on thy Books ▪ than on thy Bags , more desire of Godliness than Gold , greater affection to die well , than live wantonly . II. Behave thy self as becomes one of thy Birth , for if thou vauntest of thy Linage , and titular Dignity , and wantest the Virtues of thy Ancestors , thou art but as a base serving Man , who carries on his sleeve the badge of some Noble Family , yet is himself but an ignoble person . In which respect Aristotle discoursing of Nobility , makes four parts thereof ; the first of Riches , the second of Blood , the third of Learning , the fourth of Vertue . And to the two last he ascribeth the first place of true Gentry , because Boors may be rich , and Rakehels may be of ancient bloud , but Vertue and Knowledge cannot harbour , but where God and Nature hath left their noble endowments . It was the saying of old English Chaucer , that to do the gentle deeds , that makes the Gentleman . Have what thou wilt , without these thou art but a three-half-penny fellow : Gentry without Virtue is blood indeed , but blood without fat , blood without Sinews ; blood is but the body of Gentility , excellency of Vertue is the Soul : and as Vertue is the high way to honour , so without it honour falls down in the dust : and therefore when Hermodius a Nobleman born , but of a deboist life , upbraided the valiant Captain Iphicrates , for that he was a Shoomakers Son , he knowing that it was more commendable , to be made honourable for vertue , than born noble by blood , replyed , In me my Gentility begins , in thee thine ends . Be the birth never so base , yet honesty and vertue is free from disgrace ; be the birth never so great , yet dishonesty and vice is subject to dishonour : therefore since thou art well descended by thy birth , prove not base , either by bad vices of thine own , or lewd devices of other men : take thy great Birth , to be an obligation of great Vertue ; suit thy behaviour unto it ; ennoble thy Parentage with Piety ; and since true Honour must come of thy self , and not of others worth ▪ work out thine own Glory by performing good deeds ; and stand not upon what thou dost borrow of thy Predecessors , if thou reach not the Goodness of those which gave thee outward Glory , and dost not so much honour thy House , with the glory of thy Vertues , as thy House hath honoured the with the title of thy Degree ; but dost as a noisom Weed grow the ranker because thou springest out from a rich soil , know thou art but a wooden Dagger , put into a gaudy sheath , to help fill up the place , when that of good metal is lost , and can no more be found . If thou dost not learn Patri●are , and let my Vertue mix with thy blood ; know thou art but as a painted Fire , which may become the Wall , but gives no light to the beholder : and that the greater my Honour and Reputation was , the greater will thy blemish be , if thou come short of my Merits : for thou art guilty of neglecting so good a President . Remember what Dionysius King of Sicily said to his Son , whom he knew to have committed Adultery , Didst thou ( saith he ) euer find such a thing in thy Father ? the Son ( as though he would make his height and grandeur , a priviledge of looseness , and as though it were no matter whether men were good , so they were great , ) answered , oh ( said he ) you had not a King to your Father , neither ( said the Father ) shall thy Son , except thou turn over a new leaf , and take a better course , ever be King. And again remember what King Edward the First said to John Earl of Athol , who was nobly descended , having committed a Murther upon John Cominaeus , The higher thy calling is , the greater must be thy fall , and as thou art of higher parentage , so shalt thou be the higher hanged : and so he was on a Gallows 50. Foot high . And as I would have thee remember the foregoing Examples , so likewise this ensuing one , of Boleslaus the fourth King of Poland , who bore the Picture of his Father hanged about his Neck in a plate of gold , and when he was to do any thing , he took this Picture , and kissing it said , Dear Father , I wish I may not do any thing that is base , or unworthy of thy Name . III. Be acquainted with good carriage , let thy behaviour be civil , and inoffensive , unto those in whose Company thou art , to that end do nothing which may be unpleasant , and offensive to their Senses . And first of the Sence of Hearing , offend not the Ears of the Company with talking loud like a Clown , for it savours not of a Gentleman so to do ; besides , it may draw upon thee , the aspersion of being a Fool , according to that Graecians saying , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , the loudest talkers are none of the wisest Men , forbear also singing , especially if thy voice be harsh , and untunable ; for who will be taken with the braying of an Ass , or the notes of a Cuckow ? If in Company thou chance to gape , put thy hand before thy Mouth , and continue not thy discourse while thou art gaping , for that is both ridiculous , and to many as offensive , as the gaping of a stinking Oyster : neither when thou gapest , yawl , and roar , as some do , for that ill beseems a Man ; briefly , as much as in the lies , refrain from gaping often in Company , that those thou dost converse with , may not fancy that the Oven is gotten into the Parlour , or that one of the wide mouthed Anticks over the Church Porch , is come amongst them . Neither sneeze or cough too loud , and violently if thou canst help it , but ( if possible ) repress it , lest thou besprinkle with the dew of thy Lungs , his face that stands by thee . IV. And as thou must not offend the Sence of Hearing , so likewise thou must neither offend that of Seeing ; be not seen with a drop hanging at thy nose , like an Iceicle on the Eaves of an House ; neither pick thy Teeth , or blow thy Nostrils aloud , when thou sittest at the Table , nor look into thine Handkerchief , as if thou hadst blown out a Pearl , or Carbuncle ; neither when thou dost arise from thence , openly unbutton , or unhasp thy Breeches , as if thou wert in hast to ease Nature ; nor return to the Company , from the necessary House in the Garden , with thy Hose untied ; for this carries with it a shew of immodesty in thy self , and of disrespect to others ; let not therefore the impudent Dog that cares not before whom he exonerates his Belly , be thy President , but rather let the modest Cat be a Pattern to thee of more civility , which , as soon as me hath eased her self , doth presently hide and bury her Excrements . If thou art walking with any one , and shalt see any thing that 's filthy in the way , thou shalt not presently turn and shew it him ; neither shalt thou bring any odious or loathsom thing to others , that they may see it or smell to it . V. For thou must be careful that thou offend not this Sence of Smelling also ; never at the Table smell to the Meat that 's carved to thee ; for this is very offensive , to those that have invited thee , and seems to put an affront upon them , as if what they had provided for thine Entertainment did stink : I remember how a Lady returned the affront upon a Gentleman that did so ; for when she espyed him to smell to the Meat she had carved to him , she said aloud before all her Guests , Sir , if you smell any thing that is offensive , it is your own Breath reflected from your Trencher . VI. The next Sence is that of Tasting , which thou must take heed of offending ; never give him to whom thou drinkest , an empty Cup or Glass ; for that will argue to many an empty Pericranium : neither give to any one a Pear , an Apple , a Peach , or an Apricock , which thou hast bitten ; let Kings only have their Tasters . Smack not with thy lips in chewing thy meat , for so feeds the Swine at his Trough ; neither let thy fingers be knuckle deep in the Sauce , for that is loathsom , and savours of Slovenry , or that thou hast been better fed than taught . Rub not thy Bread between thine Hands into Crums and Mammocks , as if thou wert rather to feed Chickens than thy self ; but especially abstain from doing so , when thou art to put thy bread into a Mess of Broth , or Cream , brought to the Table , lest the sweating of thy hands may seem to make it Bread and Butter too . VII . Let thy Man that waits on the at the Table , observe these Instructions ; when he gives thee Wine , Beer , or Ale , let him not clum the Glass or Cup , in his fist , but with an even and steady hand , present it to thee on a fair Plate or Trencher ; and be sure that he fills them not over-full , for that is called Piss-pot Measure : tell him that he must not cough , spit , or sneeze , when he presents thee that liquor which thou callest for , and that he must not be slippery fingered , for so he may sauce thy Cloaths ; the first thing to be learned in Falconry , is , to hold fast . When he takes a Tost , or a rosted Apple from the fire , he must not blow upon it to blow off the Ashes , for men are wont to say , that there is never Wind without some Water : let him rather strike off , and brush off the Ashes . Let him be neat in his Cloaths , let his Hands and Face be clean , for the slovenry of the Servant , redounds to the shame and disgrace of the Master ; and men will be apt to say , like Master , like Man. Briefly , if thou wouldst have him to be a good Serving Man indeed , urge him to observe these four things , 1. Speak when I speak to thee . 2. Come when I call thee . 3. Do what I bid thee . 4. Shut the door after thee . But to return to thy Self , and to the last Sence , which is of Touching , or Feeling . VIII . And this Sence thou must as little offend as any of the other four : when thou art talking with another , stand not so near unto him , that thou maist touch him with thy Breath , for thy breath may peradventure offend him , more than thy words may please him : neither in thy Discourse sulch him , or punch him with thy Elbows , as if thou wouldst rather beat it into his sides , than into his Ears ; for this is prodigiously offensive to Personages of Quality ▪ Besides these , there are also things done without any peculiar trouble to the Sences , and yet they displease most men and therefore are to be avoided . IX . Sleep not in that place where there is good Company , which may delight , or teach thee by their discourses ; lest either thou maist seem to have taken a Cup of Nimis , or little regardest the present Company ; or their talk ; besides it is often seen , that sweat runs down the faces , and spittle down the Beards of such Sleepers , which is no pleasant sight , and they commonly snort and rout which is no pleasant hearing . X. Pull not out of thy Pocket now this Letter or Epistle , now that , neither take a Book by thy self in the Window , and read it ; nor compose thy whole body to cut thy Nails with thy Scissers or thy Knife , as if thou esteemest not those who are with thee , or their discourse ; and therefore to pass away the time , thou seekest for some other imployment or avocation . XI . When thou sittest down , turn not thy Back to anothers Face , neither rest or lean upon another , as on a prop , making him thy leaning stock , lest thou receive the like taunt , which a Gentleman passed upon a Clown , that leaned hard upon him , Pray friend when you have done with my shoulder , let me have it again . XII . Imitate as much as thou canst the Custom of thy Country , and People , in the adorning and attire of thy Body , although the Cloaths that are used are of less profit , or are not so fit unto the body as the old were , or did seem to be ; if all the Country cut their Hair short , I would not have thee wear thine long , and if they wear long Hair , I would not have thee clip thine even to thy Ears , which would make thee shew like a Duckatoon , as Mr. Cleaveland doth express it . For that is to be singular and contrary unto others , which thou shouldst not be , unless it be by some necessity , for this will render the most ridiculous and contemptible unto others , and prove thee to be as humoursom as the Cynick Diogenes , who would always go against a crowd , because he would be contrary to all others : it is better in many things to swim with the stream , than crosly and perversly with the Sturgeon , always swim against it : for thou wilt be accounted nothing , if thou opposest the publick Customs of all . Do thou therefore accommodate , or fashion thy self unto them , in a certain Mediocrity , and be not thou the only He in thy Country , who hast thy Coat hanging down to thy Ankles , when others have it scarce hanging down to their Knees , neither wear it very short , when others wear it very long : let not thy Beaver be made with a steeple Crown , whilst the Crowns of other mens Hats are flat and couchant , lest they that meet thee take thee for a stalking antick , or an Image broke loose from an old piece of Arras . Let thy Cloaths be neat , fit , and fashionable , not over-gaudy , that the wiser sort of men may not take the for the Kings Jester . When one was at the Printing House , busie to prepare a course Treatise for the Press , whose margin was all filled with citing of Authors , a learned Man came in , to whom he presented a Sheet , desiring him to peruse it , and give him his true Judgment of it , the Gentleman having cast his eye over the Paper , told him , that the lace was better than the Cloth ; to apply this , I know that many Gallants of the Town , upon the coorsest Cloth set the richest Lace , which I take to be a great vanity , and therefore not sit for thy Imitation ; rather let the Cloth thou wearest be rich , and thou thy self the best triming to it . XIII . Wear not Clothes or Jewells , which are not fit for thy place or degree ; there are some who wear Chains of Gold about their Necks , Rings upon their Fingers , their Garments being hung with Jewells , who will be Clothed in Purple for Ostentation , and fine linen for Delectation , who will go beyond their Degree and place , beyond the Rate of their Living , the State of their Calling , and the Rule of good Laws , so that they seem to be Great and Noble Men , when they are no better than a pitiful Barber , or some finical French dancing Master ; resembling the Foxes and Polecats , whose Cases are more worth than their whole Bodies besides : he never goes seemly , that cuts not his Coat according to his Cloth. XIV . Love not thy self too much , and above measure , for if thou dost , there will be left no place in thine heart , to love others as thou shouldst : neither be scornful , nor disdainful ; for to live with scornful and disdainful Men , whose friendship is as easily broken as a rotten thread , is not to live with them as Friends , but as Slaves . Spernere Mundum , spernere nullum , spernere Sese , Spernere se sperni , quatuor ista beant , If thou despise the World thy self , If thou none else despire , If thou despise , thou art despis'd , These four will make the wise . XV. I therefore advise thee to be humble , Humility is of an excellent good Nature , and hath a singular obligingness in its constitution , it will make thee acceptable to all men ; dost thou not see how intolerable the proud are , and what is the reason of it ? but because they scorn all that are not of their Rank ; they cannot be obliged , because they think , that whatsoever thou dost is due to their merit ; they would be beloved by all , without loving any ; they will command in all companies , they will teach all , but learn of none ; they are incapable of gratitude , and think thou art honoured sufficiently for all thy services , if they do but receive them , and give thee a gracious nod ; but the humble man is the most agreeable person upon earth , thou obligest him by a good word , which he thinks he does not deserve ; he is thankful for the smallest courtesie , had rather obey than rule , he is desirous to learn of the meanest Scholar , he despises none but himself ; he loves though he be not beloved , and thinks nothing too much to do for them that esteem him , and have shewed him any civilities ; of all Vices Pride is the worst , especially where it is not backt with worth and good Parts : Aristotle espying a rich young man , but altogether unlearned ; strutting along the Streets , with a proud affected gate , and his eyes so elevated towards Heaven , as if he would have snuft up the Moon , came to him , and whispering him in the ear , said Friend such as thou thinkest thy self to be , I wish I were ; but to be as thou art , I wish only to mine Enemy . Pride is like the precedency of Funerals , he that puts himself foremost is likely the Mourner : King Lewis the Eleventh was wont to say , When pride rides in the Saddle , shame and confusion rides on the Crupper . He that climbs high had need take heed to his sure footing , for the higher he mounts the greater will be his squelsh . XVI . Thou mayst erre divers ways in thy discourse , to the end therefore that thou mayst avoid it , I will give thee these following Instructions . Let not thy talk be frivolous , but especially let it not be lewd , it is a deadly sign or symptom when a mans filthy Excrements come forth at his mouth ; one observes , that the discourses of some are so foul and obscene , that some one or other as little acquainted with God , as themselves , will be apt to conclude , that Nature spoiled them in the making , in setting their mouths at the wrong end of their Bodies : and certainly it is a sign of a corrupted and putrisied soul within , whence there steems out so much odious and stinking breath . It becomes honest men to please others with civil and chast language . Neither let thy talk by any means be against God or his Saints , his Word or his Ministers either in jest or in earnest , for if thou talk so in earnest , thou wilt shew thy self Atheistical , and if in jest , thou wilt thereby shew thy self Profane : Leave this , and domnation to boot , to the Hectors of the times . I my self have many times observed , that some ( who I am perswaded truly feared and adored the Majesty of the most high ) have often forsook the place , where there was as well talk of God as against him . Neither do thou call the dreadful and omnipotent God for a Witness to every frivolous matter , nor do thou in thy familiar discourse , swear vainly by his most sacred Name ; he that usually swears to gain credit , will be sure to lose it . For as we say , Shew me a Lyer , and I will shew thee a Thief ; so we may say , Shew me a common Swearer , and I will shew thee a common Lyer : this horrid Vice like a two edged Sword will do thee mischief two ways ; for it will make thee odious first to God , and then also to all good men . Begin no talk before thou hast considered the form of it in thy mind , true consideration is the Tutor both to acting and speaking , and a great Enemy both to untimely Actions and Narrations : consider therefore the Matter of thy Discourse , the Manner of it , the End of it , the Persons of whom , and to whom thou speakest . 'T was sound and good counsel , that the Lyrick Poet gave us in one of his Epistles , Quod de quiq viro , & cui dicas saepè caveto . When thou dost talk of any man take care . Of whom , to whom , and what thy speeches are . At merry meetings shun the relating of melancholy matters , but let thy discourse be genial and frolick fit for such Times and Places ; it were far better to be silent , than to relate such things as may contristate their minds , who are met only for the sake of mirth and jollity ; neither do thou at a Feast preach temperance , or talk at the Table of nauseous things , for these are as much the Tricks and Devices of a Glutton , as it would be for a man to spit in his Pottage , that he might eat them all by himself , and deter others from eating with him : briefly , when thou art in company observe these two things , First , Hold no Arguments . Secondly , Lay no Wagers . For these have often been the breach of friendship . Take heed that thou do not do as those , who have nothing else in their mouths but their Children , their Wise , their Nurse , saying , O how my little Boy did move me to laugh yesterday ▪ you never heard one of his age talk so wittily in your life , neither did you ever see a Boy more amiable than my little Tommy : but especially run not out in the commendations of thy Wife , what a good Huswife she is , what a Wise and understanding Woman , and how beautiful , and yet how chaste she is , that never man had her peer , this is as great a folly as to brag of thy Gold amongst Thieves and Robbers : remember how it cost Candaules dear , even his life , for shewing his beautiful Wife to Gyges . Besides no body can be so idle , as to answer these things , or to give his mind to such trifles , and there is no one but must needs be affected with trouble to hear them . Use not in thy discourse certain common Places and Themes wherein thou art good , but shalt want variety , which kind of Poverty is for the most part tedious , and when once found out and observed ridiculous ; thou must talk of many matters not always harp upon one string , he that always sings one Note without descant , breedeth no delight ; he that always plays one part bringeth loathsomness to the ear , it is variety that moveth the minds of all men ; vary therefore and intermingle thy speech with Reasons , Tales , asking of Questions , telling of Opinions , and mixing jest with earnest , for it is a dull thing to tire and as we say to jade any thing too far . Recite not thy stories again and again , for this is as Nauseous as it would be to feed a man , as a Nurse doth her Child with meat chewed over and over ; though the Rose be sweet , yet being tyed with the Violet the smell is more fragrant , though meat nourisheth , yet having good sauce it provoketh appetite , the fairest Nosegay is made of many Flowers , the finest Picture of sundry colours , the wholesomest Medicine of divers ingredients , and so the best discourse consists of various things . My Son , as for jesting there are certain things , which ought to be priviledged from it ; namely Religion ( of which I have already spoken ) matters of State , great Persons , any mans present business of importance , and any case that deserveth pity : for to jeer at him that is miserable is inhumane , and as great a cruelty , as it would be to flea a man first , and afterwards to salt him . Yet there are some that think their wits have been asleep , unless they dart out something that is piquant , and to the quick : this is an humour which should be bridled , and generally men ought to find the difference between saltness and bitterness ; certainly he that hath a satyrical vein , as he maketh others afraid of his wit , so hath he need to be afraid of others memory . To jest is tolerable , but to do hurt by jesting is insufferable ; yet many there are , that will lose their friend rather than their Jest , or their Quibble , Pun , Punnet , or Pundigrion , fifteen of which will not make up one single jest . This like cursed Cham , first lays open a mans nakedness , and then exposes it to the scorn and laughter of others . As there are some who cannot jest , so there are others who cannot bear a jest , of whom beware , lest whilst thou breakest thy jest they break thy Pate : Non tutum est scribere in eos , qui possunt proscribere ( said an old Roman ) which is in effect ▪ as much as to say , meddle not with those that can avenge themselves upon thee , for thy drollery upon them ; they that will irritate such Wasps , may smart by their stings , but shall never taste of their Honey . Qui mockat mockabitur , though it be but a piece of Mock-Latine , yet it is experimentally found to be a serious Truth ; for those that will be always jeering and flouting at others , commonly meet with a Match for their Game Cock : As amongst an hundred more will appear by this one instance ; Three Vniversity Youngsters , who because they had run through the Predicables and Predicaments , thought themselves as wise as Solomon , had gotten into the best Room in an Inn , where they were very merry , after them came riding into the same Inn a grave Country Parson with a long white Beard , and being alone , craved leave by mine Host to be admitted into their Company ; to which they gladly condescended , resolving within themselves to make themselves very merry with the old Country Rat , as they termed him ; whom coming into their Room they thus accosted , the first with a low Lout said , Welcome Father Abraham , the second , welcome Father Isaac , the third , welcome Father Jacob , to whom the old Stager replied , Gentlemen , you are all mistaken ; for I am neither Abraham , Isaac , nor Jacob , but my Name is Saul , who hath been seeking my Fathers Asses , and lo here I have found them . There are some that will answer others contrary to what they expect , and that without any wit at all ; as if one shall ask of a Servant , Where is thy Master ? he should answer in his skin : how doth the Wine taste ? as if it were moist : how camest thou hither ? upon my legs . These and many other like these avoid carefully ; It is better to say nothing than that which is nothing worth . When any one of thy Company tells a story , take heed thou rejoyn not ( as some usually do ) saying now , Sir , you have done telling your story , I will tell you another , and it is a true one ; for that is little better than to give him the lye : and may with some hot Spurs give them a ground to quarrel with thee . When thou dost relate a Tale or Jest , omit the Oaths that are sometimes mingled with it ; for he that would cleanly and safely feed , will first pare his Apple , and then cut out the Core , and what is worm-eaten . If thy merry Tales , witty Sayings , and pleasant Jests are not approved of by the laughter of those that are with thee , thou shalt forthwith leave : briefly laugh not out at thy own Jests , for this will sooner make thy self ridiculous , than thy Company merry . Be not impertinent as some , who when they relate a story , will say him of whom I speak , was the Son of this or that man , who lives in such a place , do you not know the man ? he hath a Wife and Children , he is a tall man , and something ancient ; truly if you know him not , you know no body , I know such a man knows him very well : all this is but beating about the Hedge , but no catching the Bird. In thy Discourse thou must use as much as thou canst words that are proper , and express a thing according to Art ; that thou mayst not therefore talk like a Clown in the Company of Gentlemen , I advise thee to be skilful in the terms of Heraldry , Hawking and Hunting , lest thou make thy self as ridiculous by using improper terms , as the Frenchman was , when he called to the Maid to cleanse his Chamber , saying , he had untrust a point there . Never talk French , Latine , or Italian at the Table , or in the Company of those who understand neither of these Languages ; for this will either argue Ostentation in thy self , or make those with whom thou dost converse jealous , that thou talkest no good of them . I have heard of one that was fitted in his kind for this folly , who drinking to a grave Matron , said , Come , Madam , here is an Health omnibus Nebulonibus , & Nebulonibus nostris , to whom she replied , I thank you , Sir , not forgetting your Father and your Mother . Use not flat and mean expressions , when thou art talking of great and illustrious things , or such as require more full ones . When Seneca heard a dull Fellow describing a Tempest at Sea , after a very mean rate , he laught at him , and told him ; Sir , I have seen a greater tempest in a Pail of Milk than you have described . Of this fault also was that French man guilty , who styled Christ the Dauphin of Heaven : and he who called the Sun the Lanthorn of the World , of the two he had been better to have said the Moon ; for few men make use of a Lanthorn by day , unless it be as Diogenes did to seek for an honest man. Another there is who tells us , that the body is the Socket of the Soul , which is but a greasie and stinking Metaphor ; and a thousand more like these could I here reckon up to thee , but the following one shall serve for all , which is this , I remember that when I was a School-boy one of my Fellows was well whipt , because in a Copy of Verses upon the Gunpowder Treason , he called Guydo Fawks for attempting to blow up the Parliament ▪ House , a very Knave . Werefore remember I advise thee to adequate and adapt all thine expressions , as the Grandeur of the matter that thou speakest of doth duely require . Begin no talk , unless thou art able to continue it , lest thou do as that Rump-Parliament-man , who all the while he sate in the House , would start up at every thing proposed , and say , Mr. Speaker , I conceive , and so without speaking any more words would sit down again ; upon which another Member of the House stood up , and said , Mr. Speaker , this Gentleman doth still conceive , but hath never strength to bring forth . Farther , be sure to know when to begin Talk , and when to end it , that thou mayst avoid that Vice , which Songsters are guilty of , who being intreated will scarce sing Sol Fa , but not desired will strain above Ela ; for which the Satyrist doth thus stigmatize them , — They can't abide to sing a Song , If they 're intreated , but they 'll ne're give o're , If not desired — Be not thou either so Morose as not to talk at all , or if thou hast once begun so tedious as never to make an end , but to keep a perpetual noise as Crickets do in the Chimney-corner ; a man had as good have a Drum always beating in his ears , as be troubled with such impertinent Coxcombs . The wisdom next to speaking well , is to know when to begin and when to end ; therefore keep measure in thy Communication , if thou art too brief thou shalt not be understood , if too long thou wilt be tedious . XVII . Neither do thou follow the Example of those , who will prefer themselves in all things above others , who will put themselves in the best Beds , in the best Chambers , and in the highest Places , & will like nothing but what they themselves invent or do , but will set aside and suspend others with a Jest , and will have themselves accounted best in solemn Feasts or Banquets , in Horsmanship , in Plays , and in all Refreshments of the Body and Exercises of the Mind to excel all others , and boast much of what they have , and what they have done ; which things are odious , and therefore I advise thee to avoid them : and remember that nothing makes a mans breath stink worse than commendations of himself . Speech of thy self ought to be seldom and well chosen . I knew one , saith Sir Francis Bacon , who was wont to say in scorn ; he must needs be a wise man he speaks so much of himself : and there is but one case wherein thou mayst commend thy self with good Grace , and that is in commending Vertue in another , especially if it be such a Vertue whereunto thou thy self pretendest . Never speak well of thy self , unless thou be taxed for any dishonesty by a slanderous Tongue ; for a man may tell his Slanderer , that he is as honest a man as himself , or any of his Generation ; and if a man shall say I am an honest man , he is not to be taxed of vain-glory ; but if he say I am a learned man , or I am a wise man , he will shew himself to be very vain ; so then a man may praise himself as to his Morals , but not as to his Intellectuals . XVIII . Resemble not those , who when a Question is proposed unto them , are so long before they give their Opinion , that they prove very troublesom in making a very long Circumstance or Excuse , saying , Sirs , I am the unworthiest and the unlearnedest in the whole Company , here are Gentlemen who are far worthier and far more learned than I am , and are better able to answer the Question propounded ( when indeed he is by the confession of all , the learnedest there , and best able to give a resolution ) yet for the sake of obedience I shall willingly submit my self to your commands , whilst these and many other vain Preambles are made , they put a stop to the present business , and in that time the Question might have been answered : when a Fidler is long and tedious in tuning his Fiddle , who will care for his Musick ? XIX . Be not thou like those who are so heady , sharp , sullen , and rough , that nothing can please them , howsoever or by whomsoever it is done ; who , whatsoever is said unto them , do answer with a grim or sower countenance ; and in whosoevers company they are , chide their Servants , nay sometimes beat them , so that they disturb the whole company , to whom all humours are odious , but what are Debonaire : and to jar , scold , and ruffle with those about thee , just when thy Guests are ready to sit down at thy Table , is as if thou shouldst scrape thy Trenchers to set their Teeth on edge , before they begin to eat their meat : be not angry at thy Table whatsoever happens , but rather contain thy self and dissemble it , lest there should a sign of trouble appear in thy countenance , and so thy Guests be induced to believe , that some in the company are not so welcome as they should be : but rather be merry and facetious at thy Meals , for this like Poynant sauce will make thy Meal the more savoury . XX. Be not contrary to others desires , neither oppose the delights of others ; when they talk of what Sports they most delight in , do not thou undervalue them , nor , if they desire thee to make one at their Recreations , refuse their desires ; for that argues morosity ; complacency is hugely pleasing to all those , with whom we converse , and one jarring string spoils the harmony of a whole set of Musick . XXI . Be not rough or strange but rather pleasant and familiar , accustom thy self to salute every one very kindly , to talk with them and answer them very pleasantly and familiarly ; it is a true token of Nobility and the certain mark of a Gentleman to be courteous to all , and especially to Strangers . Themistocles was so full of courtesie , that he never entred the Market-place , without saluting every Citizen by his name , or some other friendly compellation ; as a Bell is known by the sound , so is a mans Gentility by his courteous affability . Ferdinando King of Spain was wont to say , that proud looks lose hearts , but courteous words win them . Courtesie will drew unto thee the love of Strangers , and the good liking of thine own Country-men . XXII . Avoid the custom of many , who will always be of a sad countenance , and will never be merry with their friends , but refuse all things that are offered to make them merry , and when any one sends commendations unto them , they will answer the Messenger , what am I the better for his commendations ? and if any one tells them that such or such a friend of late asked for them , whether they were in good health or no , they will answer he may come and see if he please . XXIII . Thou must not be melancholy , and thoughty in that place , where any one is , as if thou wert snatcht and placed without thy self ; yea although this may be born with in those , who have spent many years , in the consideration and contemplation of the Liberal Arts and Sciences , yet I tell thee in others without doubt , it is not to be approved of , yea thou dost well at that time , in which thou thinkest to meditate , to go in from the company of others , either into thy Study or some other solitary Place , the solitary Nightingale sings sweetest , when all other Birds are fast asteep . XXIV . Be not of too nice and delicate a Mind , and too precise in thy discourse , for I say that talk with such men , as are so , is rather a Bondage than an equal Society : there are some who are so nice and curious in all their words and actions , that to live and converse with them , is no other than to be surrounded with brittle Glasses , so that men greatly fear to touch them , they must handle and observe them very softly and gently , they must fitly and carefully salute them , visit them , and answer their questions , otherwise they will be very angry ; they are so delighted with their titles , that unless any one shall have them at his fingers ends , and use them at every word , they will be displeased , nay they will scarce answer him , or if they do it will be thus , I truly ( as thou knowest ) am called Master , but thou dost forget to put a M under thy Girdle . Take heed of lying , for if thou usest this vice often , thou wilt lose thy credit amongst all men ; the Persians and Indians deprived him of all honour and further speech , that lyed . Homer writeth of the great and valiant Captain Achilles , that he did more abhor lying than death : remember how that the Cretans for lying became a by-word to the whole world ; much less do thou add to thy lying execrable wishes ; Munster writeth of Popiel the Second , King of Poland , who had ever this word in his mouth ▪ if it be not true , I would the Rats might eat me , but shortly after being at a Banquet , he was so fiercely assailed by Rats , that neither his Guard , Fire , or Water could preserve him from them . Neither be thou like those Jesters , who practice lying and telling strange inventions of their own , which are most false , to please for a time the Hearers ; nor like those who devise and spread false News , and account it good sport to deceive the simple ; but be thou slow to tell News and Tales ; whatsoever thou seest or hearest of others , either meddle not with it , but strive to be quiet and do thine own business ; or if it so concern thee , that thou must needs speak of it , take heed that thou do not mistake any part of it , many things are so spoken , that they may be taken well or ill , yea and what can be said but some one or other may turn it into an evil Meaning ? as the Spider that out of the best Flowers will suck some Poison : but be thou of the mind to take every thing the best way , and as it were by the right handle ; knowing that it is the Devils property to make the worst of every thing . Thou mayest be deceived in what thou hearest another speak ; because thou canst not see the Heart and Meaning of the Person , much more in that which thou hast of him by Hear-say , for Reports are commonly very faulty , and seldom hold truth in all points ; and those that told it thee , are apt to deny it again , if thou hast not witness , and so thou mayest run thy self into great trouble : therefore imitate Epimenides the Painter , who after his return from Asia , being enquired of News , answered , I stand here to sell Pictures not to tell News . Neither follow thou the example of vain Travellers and Praters , who meerly out of vanity , and because they would say something , set such things as they have seen or heard upon the Tenter-hooks , stretching them most palpably beyond all credit , or coining incredible things out of their own Mint , that never before saw any light , and have no more affinity with Truth , than the opinion of Copernicus of the motion of the earth ; or that Relation of our Country-man of the New World in the Moon , or of Domingo Gonzales , and his flight thither upon the Wings of his Ganzas : I have read of a Knight ( who shall be nameless ) that rendred himself ridiculous by this Means ; for using to make multiplying Glasses of what he in his long and great Travels had observed , ▪ professed that he once conversed with a Hermite who was ( in the opinion of all men ) able to commute any Metal into Gold with a Stone he kept still hanging at his Girdle : and being asked of what kind it was , and not readily answering , the witty Lord of Saint Albans standing by said , he did verily believe it was a Whet-stone . Make not Lies upon thy self as many do , boasting vain-gloriously of themselves , praising their knowledge and bragging of what great acts they have done , as if they only were wise , when alas it is well known they are otherwise ; such men may fitly be compared to the Bell in the Clock-house at Westminster , which had this Inscription about it , King Edward made me , Thirty thousand and three , Take me down and weigh me , And more shall ye find me . But when this Bell was taken down and weighed , this and two more , were found not to weigh twenty thousand : Such vain-glory as this being like a Window Cushion specious without , but stuft with Hay within , or some such Trash ; wherefore when a Souldier bragged of a Wound in his Forehead , Augustus asked him , whether he did not get it , when he lookt back as he fled . XXVI . Go not vauntingly and proudly as some , who go as if they were the only men of their Country , and speak and look very high and losty when they have scarce any home to go to , or any thing to maintain their Highness and Lostiness , imitating the Spaniards who are highly conceited of themselves , great Braggers , and extreamly proud even in the lowest ebb of Fortune , which appeareth by the Tale of the poor Cobler on his death bed , who commanded his eldest Son coming to him for his last Blessing , to endeavour to retain the honour worthy so noble a Family ; also a Woman of that Country attended on by three of her Brats , went a begging from door to door some French Merchants travelling that way , and pitying her case , offered her to take into their Service the bigger of her Boys , but she proud , though poor , scorning ( as she said ) that any of her Lineage should endure an Apprentiship , returned this answer , that for ought she or any knew her Son ( simple as he stood there ) might live to be King of Spain ; such Braggadocios as these , are like the Peacock , who though he be hatched on a Dunghill , yet is he the proudest of Birds : Nay some of these are so proud that they are ashamed of their Parents , resembling those Beasts who think themselves well hid , if they can but hide their Heads : never remembring Sir Thomas Moor who being Lord Chancellor in his time , and consequently in an Office , next and immediately to the King himself , and having his own Father living , and at that time but one of th● inferiour Judges of the Kings Bench ( that then was ) never went to Westminster Hall , to sit in the Chancery there , but he would go up to the Kings Bench , where his Father then sate , and there on his Knees would ask him blessing before a multitude of beholders ; so little was he ashamed of his Father , though then in a far lower Condition than himself . XXVII . Take heed of being too ceremonious and complemental , lest thou give others an occasion to think , that thou art full of Craft because thou art full of Courtesie ; the bowings , bendings , and cringings of some resemble but such gestures as men use when they go about to catch ●otterils : yet there are some Cere●●●●es in giving men their due Titles of Honour , according to their several Degrees , either when we write to them , or talk with them , which we cannot omit , without the imputation of being ill-bred : thou must not write to a Knight or an Esquire thus , To Mr. B. G. Knight , or Esquire , but must call the one Right-Worshipful , the other Worshipful ; nor must thou stile a Lord Right Worshipful , but Right Honourable , or a King or Prince Right Honourable , but in discourse thou shalt say to a King , and it please your Majesty , to a Prince , and it like your Highness , to a Lord , and it like your Honour , to a Knight or an Esquire , and it like your Worship , to an Arch-Bishop , and it like your Grace , to a Bishop , and it please your Lordship , and the one thou must stile the most Reverend , the other the Right Reverend Father in God : give therefore to every one his due Title , which doth properly belong to him , for as we must not clip money nor embase it , so neither must we detract any thing from the honour of any person whatsoever : Neither must we give to Tradesmen and Mechanicks , or other persons of low Degre● such Titles as are too big for them to ●●ar ; for that were to take a Gyants Cloaths , and put on upon the back of a Pigmie . ( My Son ) not to use Ceremonies , or Complements at all is to teach others not to use them again ; and so diminisheth respect unto thy self ; especially they must not be omitted to strangers , and formal Natures : but the labouring too much to express them , doth lose their grace , for that must be natural and unaffected , and the dwelling upon them , and exalting them above the Moon , is not only tedious , but will diminish thy faith and credit : for ( as one says ) Men had need to beware , how they be too perfect in Complements ; for be they never so sufficient otherwise , their Enviers will be sure to give them that attribute , to the disadvantage of their greater Virtues ; Yet certainly , there is a kind of conveying of effectual and imprinting passages amongst Complements , which is of singular use if a man can hit upon it . Amongst thy Peers thou shalt be sure of familiarity , and therefore it is good a little to keep state , amongst thy inseriours thou shalt be sure of reverence , and therefore it is good a little to be familiar : too much of either will breed contempt : Briefly , let not thy behaviour be like a Verse , wherein every syllable is measured , but like thine Apparel , not too straight , or Point Device , but free for Exercise and Motion : using Ceremonies and Complements as a Taylour doth Clothes , which he doth so cut and join together , until at length he maketh them fit for the body ; so thou must cut off superfluous Ceremonies and Complements , and take only those that are decent for thee to use . XXVIII . Take heed of slandering another , or poisoning his reputation , or reporting evil things of him , or of carrying Tales and false accusations , this will make thee most odious , if thou dost use it , for those to whom thou dost report slanderous tales of others , will think that thou wilt report slanderous tales of them unto others , and so they will abhor thee . XXIX . Oppose no man whilst he is talking or disputing , which many use to do ; there shall not a word drop from anothers Tongue , but they presently will take it up , and oppose him , and contend with him , and say it is not true , or it is not so as he reports it , the man was not so and so , nor the things thus ; truly it is a sign of a man not well educated , nor well learned ; for every one loves Victory and will hardly be overcome , as well in words as in deeds : besides it begets nothing but hatred and disdain : wherefore thou wert far better to yield to the opinion of others , especially in things of small moment , and which perhaps do not concern thee : the victory in this kind is loss , for the Victor in any frivolous Question doth in the mean while oft lose a loving friend , as Ixion lost his Juno to grasp an empty Cloud . XXX . If thou art desired at any time to dispute of any thing , in whosoevers company it be , thou shalt do it after a pleasing manner ; thou must not desire the commendation of thy wit , in being able to hold all arguments , but of thy judgment , in discerning what is true ; thou must not think it praise enough to know what might be said , but what should be thought : neither in disputing do thou strive so much as if thou wert more greedy of obtaining the Victory , than of discussing and sisting out the truth : neither suffer the Heat of disputation to cool and extinguish that of charity and love . XXXI . Be not thou like those , who that they may shew themselves subtle , intelligent , and wise men , will always be giving of counsel unto others , always reproving of others , and always disputing with others , and many times they come from words even to blows , and by this means render themselves odious unto all : by their counselling and rebuking of others , they shew that they account themselves wiser than other men , and so indeed such men ought truly to be , for as he is a wise man that will take good counsel , so he is the wiser man that can give it . XXXII . Resemble not those , who will pluck up Tares out of other mens fields , and all the while they will suffer their own to be overgrown with Bryars and Nettles : Many are most severe to others in their slips and falls to which they themselves are most subject , as appears by Johannes Cremensis a Priest Cardinal the Popes Legate , who in a Convocation at Westminster called in the year of our Lord 1126. inveighed most bitterly against the marriage of Priests , and was himself the next night taken in Bed with a common Harlot , for shame whereof , he got him away leaving all his business at six and seven , without taking leave of any . XXXIII . Mock no body with their poverty , Lateness or Blindness , or any thing they cannot help ; neither do thou imitate either Stammerers Crook backed or cromp-footed men , neither make a laughing-Stock of thy worst enemy , much Iess of thy best friend ; thou oughtest not to laugh at one for the sake of recreation and pleasure , nor at the other for the sake of contempt and disdain . XXXIV . Thou must not do any thing that is base , unhandsom , or scurrilous , to excite others to laughter , such as the writhing of the Eyes , Mouth , or Face , or the imitating of Fools in Stage-Plays , or Puppet-plays ; for this is to make thy self a Fool , that wiser men may laugh at thee . XXXV . Give no man the Lye , lest thou be answered with a Stab , or compelled to answer for it by a Duel ; for few there are who can pass by such an Affront , as King Henry the Third did , who though Simon Mounford Earl of Leicester ( who was of a very testy and cholerick Constitution ) gave him the Lye to his Face , yet he passed it over without Revenge , shewing himself thereby to be a King over himself as well as over his Subjects . XXXVI . It is not good to excuse another , in that which thou dost know him to have deserved blame ; and if he have erred , thou shalt make that error both yours , and when thou dost admonish him of it , or reprehend him for it , thou shalt say , We have greatly erred , we must remember how we did yesterday commit this or that error , although he alone be guilty of it , and not thou . By this civil and gentle Method thou shalt the easier mould him like soft wax to take the impressions of good counsel for the future : a wild Heifer is sooner to be tamed with gentle usage than rough handling . XXXVII . As thou respectest thy credit amongst men , be careful to perform thy promises , otherwise they will count thee but a Whiffling-fellow , a right honest man will be as much obliged by his word as by his Bond ; nothing makes a man more like God than these two things , Holiness and Truth . To promise and not to perform is to do a Lye , and a true Gentleman must abhor as well to do a Lye as to speak one . It was a foul Character which one gave of the Neopolitans , who were wont to promise much , but to perform little , viz. that they had wi●emouths , but narrow hands ; Promises are Debts , and Debts are Sins if we never pay them . XXXVIII . Interrupt no one whilst he is talking , either by making of a noise , or by speaking out of thy turn , neither shalt thou cause his talk to be forsaken , or neglected , or slighted by the Hearers , either by shewing some new thing , or by calling aside the attention of those that are present any other way ; but be attentive when others talk , lest thou shalt by and by be forced to ask what he said last : if he be slow in expression , thou shalt not run before him , & minister words unto him , as if thou wert rich , and he poor ; many take this in ill part , and especially those who think themselves better Masters of their Language than thy self . Take heed therefore of taking a mans talk out of his mouth ; for as it is a shame for a man to eat his own words , so it is shameful also for a man to eat another mans words out of his mouth : this is as offensive to some as it would be to clap thy hand upon their mouth , when they are about to gape . XXXIX . There are some , who though they know least , yet they talk most ; as the weakest Wheel in the Cart screeks loudest , and the emptiest Hogshead gives the greatest sound . Wise men refrain from too much talk , fearing lest in talking much , they should erre much : Nature hath given us two Ears , two Eyes , and but one Tongue , to the end we should see and hear more than we speak : the Tongue is but a small Member , yet many times doth more hurt than the whole Body besides ; and many a man doth with his Tongue cut his own Throat . Use therefore thine Ears and Eyes more than thy Tongue ; those that are too full of words , render themselves odious ; for it carries in it a certain kind of Pride in them , viz. that they esteem themselves more excellent , wiser men , and better learned than those that hear . XL. In talking it is better to further another mans desire , than to hinder it ; wherefore if another be about to tell any thing , thou shalt not say , I know that already , and so by that means break off his Discourse ; for though thou dost know it , yet perhaps the rest that are then present do not : neither shalt thou , if thou think any thing that is reported by another , to be a Lye , in any wise upbraid him with it , either in word or gesture , either by shaking thy head , or wresting aside thine eyes , or blaring out thy tongue , for this is next of kin to the giving a man the Lye. XLI . And as immoderate Talk doth beget disdain , so too much Silence and Reservation is odious , and by most men hated . Therefore as those who are wont to drink in their Feasts and Solemnities , an d make themselves merry , do remove those that do not , or will not comply and be merry with them , so those which are too silent and grave , no Company will love ; for they seem to the rest to sit as Judges and Censurers of their words and actions : Compliance begets Complacency . Take therefore thy turn to speak as well as thy turn to hold thy peace . XLII . In questioning much , thou shalt learn much , and content much , but especially if thou apply thy questions to the skill of the persons , whom thou askest , for thou shalt give them occasion to please themselves in speaking , and thou thy self shalt continually gather knowledge : but let not thy questions be troublesom , for that is fit for a Poser . XLIII . Follow not the Example of those , who when all are ready to sit down at Table , the Meat being brought in , will seem to have forgotten to write something , and therefore call for a Pen and Ink , or run out to make water , desiring the Company to stay for him but a Pissing while , which must needs give no small trouble or distaste to those who are sharp and hungry . XLIV . Avoid all kind of Vice that may deform thee , and since thou art beautiful , do such things as become thy Beauty : let the Beauty of thy Mind , which consists in chusing Vertue , and avoiding Vice , set forth that of thy whole Body , which consists in Favour , Colour , and in decent Gestures and Motions ; Beauty when it is not joyned with Vertue , is like the Feathers of a Phoenix , placed on the Carcass of a Crow : and he or she who is fair without and foul within , may no more justly be thought or called Beautiful than a stinking Dunghil , because it is covered with Snow . XLV . When thou art to go to any place , run not , nor make too much haste , for that is not the part of a Gentleman , but of a Foot-man . It is observed of the Lyon , which is the noblest Beast in the Forest or Desart , that he is never seen to run : as thou mayst know much of a mans disposition by his Countenance or Meen , so also by his Gate ; for thou mayst many times discover a totty Pate by the Legs that bear it . To walk with thy Nose erected , and thine Arms always a Kembow , like the Ears of a Pottage pot , will induce such as either meet or follow thee , to censure thee for a proud Coxcomb . If thou tread mincingly with thick and short steps , as if thou wert walking upon Eggs , they will be apt to believe that thou art a finical self conceited Fool. Let not thine Arms as theirs do that are sowing Corn , when thou goest , seem to walk as fast as thy Legs , for this will make them account thee for a Country-Clown ; nor in thy going creep like a Snail , or jump like a Grashopper , or lift up thy feet too high like a blind Mill-horse , neither take wide steps as if thou wert measuring of Land , or straddle , lest thou make the Ladies suspect that thou art shot between wind and water ; in fine , let thy manner of walking be grave , modest , and no way affected : for this is very decent and comely . My Son , these Animadversions which I have before mentioned , may seem to thee minute and trifling matters , yet I assure thee in our familiar Converse with men , like the filings of Gold , they have their weight and price as well as things of a greater Mass or Bulk ; but to proceed in my advice . XLVI . The next thing is I would not have thee force another man to drink more than he well can ; for this is so far from using him with Civility , that it savours rather of such Barbarity , as the Dutch used at Amboyna against our English , whom by putting the brim of an Hat under their Chins , and pouring water continually upon it , they forced to drink till their Bellies were ready to break , and their Eyes to start out of their Sculls . 'T is the noblest Entertainment amongst sober and grave , wise and good men , to give every man his own freedom . XLVII . When any Visitants of Quality come to wait upon thee , withdraw not thy self from their Society , but with the greatest Civilities entertain them , and let them have all the freedom and the best Accommodations thy House will afford ; yet when the Bottles like Hand-Granado's fly about , reserve to thy self thine own liberty : so shalt thou the longer enjoy thy Estate , because thy Temperance and Sobriety will prolong thy days : remember that thou art the Master of the House , and not mine Host , to drink with all comers as he doth . XLVIII . Take great care for the preservation of thy good Name ; for as thy Garment after it hath been once rent and torn is like so still more to be by every Nail and Tenterhook thou comest near , so will it fare with thy good Name , if it be once tainted with just reproach ; nothing is more hardly to be found again , if once 't is lost , than a mans good name or reputation : which one prettily expresseth thus , by this Apologue , it happened that upon a time , Fire , Water , and Reputation went to travel together , but before they set forth they considered ( that if they lost one another ) how they might meet again ; Fire said , where you see smoak there you shall find me ; Water said , where you see Flags growing in Moorish grounds , there you shall find me ; but Reputation said , take heed how you lose me , for if you do , you will run a great hazard never to meet with me again . XLIX . To the end therefore that thou mayest keep thy good Name , abandon the society of those , which are noted for evil living and lewd behaviour ; for by holding familiarity with such men , thou wilt incur two evils , for either thou shalt be thought such a one thy self , or in a little time shalt really be so , for it is commonly seen , that a man contracts a tincture upon himself , sutable to the conditions of those persons with whom he doth familiarly converse , as those that accompany a Collier shall be black , and those who live with a Miller shall be white ; it may be said of frequenting ill company , as they were wont to say in a common Proverb here in England of going to Rome , He that goes to Rome once , seeth a wicked man ; he that goes twice , learneth to know him ; but he that goes thrice thither , brings him home with him ; so he that frequenteth wicked company , the first time that he comes amongst them , he sees their courses ; the second time he learns them ; and the third time he commonly brings them home with him . Company is good , if it be good company , he that keeps company with lewd and infamous persons , shall be thought a Bird of the same Feather . It was Seneca's observation upon Canopus a Town in Aegypt so branded in old time for variety of all kinds of beastliness and luxury , that he who avoided the vitiousness and debauchery of it could not escape the infamy , the very place administring matter of suspicion : Beware of these three B s Back . Belly . Building . L. In reference to the first B the Back , take heed how thou consumest thy Estate by thy prodigious Bravery , some men have been so vain , as to make their Garments of a Lordship , and have lined them with their Farms , and laced them with all the Gold and Silver which their friends left them ; the Barks of such vain Fools , like that of the Cinamon-Tree , are more worth than their Truncks : while their variety and several changes of Apparel cover a thread bare Purse . LI. Next , in reference to the Belly , which is the second B , take heed thou be not like the Epicures and Belly-Gods , Velvet-mouth'd and sweet-tooth'd , who are not content with the choicest Viands , unless their very sauce be sauced too ; and think they shall be starved , unless the third course be brought to Table , and the Sweet-meats after that : how many by such luxuries have drawn at length their goods through their guts . Such men like Cleopatra ( who drinking a health to her Antony , swallowed a Pearl dissolved in Vinegar worth many millions ) gulch down their Estates by gulps , till in the end they come to be glad of a dry Crust ; and in conclusion , by keeping too great a House , they keep no House to cover their heads ; and their sat Revenues like their rost-meat drips all away : the Purses of such Prodigals may be said to be poor by their great goings out , while their Bellies may be said to be rich by their great comings in . LII . Lastly , in reference to Building , which is the third B , take heed thou ingage not too far in it , for this will pick a mans Purse , as it did the foolish Builders in the Gospel , who began to build but could not make an end ; and leave their houses desolate , as the slothful mans Vineyard , described thus by Solomon , Lo it was all grown over with thorns , and Nettles had covered the face thereof , and the stone walls thereof were broken down . Or if they be resident on their houses , it necessitates them to keep a Table , which will starve twenty tall men , besides many a Mouse : the House being the bigger for the smallness of the Kitchin. They can keep but few fires in many Chimnies , the smoak comes all out of one hole only : and though a man may see them a far off , yet he cannot smell them nigh at hand ; Bread and Beef are turned into stones ; the stately roof , the costly pavement , and the curious workmanship , hath pined away hospitality , and brought her into a consumption , not to be recovered : Therefore , I advise thee in thy dyet , not to be too curious , nor yet too coorse ; in thy attire not to be too costly nor yet too clownish ; and finally as for thy buildings , let them be useful and commodious , not vain and over sumptuous ; it was a severe but just scoff which the Lord Treasurer Burleigh past upon a Knight , that shall not be named , who having built a very stately fabrick , to the great diminution of his estate and revenue , was yet ambitious to entertain the Queen at his fine house ; and to that purpose new painted his Gates , with his Coat of Arms and his Motto in great golden Letters , thus ōia Vanitas . The Lord Treasurer offering to read it , desired to know of the Knight , what he meant by ōia , who told him , it stood by contraction for omnia ; whereupon the Lord Treasurer replied , truly Sir I very much wonder that having made your omnia so little as you have , you notwithstanding make your Vanitas so large . Therefore ( the premises considered ) content thy self ( my Son ) with that House I shall leave thee , without any alteration , unless it be for thy convenience . The Spaniards think that they cannot curse a man worse , than to say the Plague of Building light upon thee ; and we have here at home an English Proverb , That he who often doth dip his fingers in Mortar will lose his Nails . LIII . There is a fourth thing that is as great a waster , if not a greater , of a mans Estate , than any of those three things we last spake of , and that is Whoring ; this hath undone many ; the Harlot is an Horseleech , which if thou hast Gold or Silver about thee , will never out of thy bosom , till that be out of thy Purse ; and hath brought thy hundred to six , as the Vsurer adds six to his hundred . Nor will she bereave thee of thy goods only , but of thy good Name also ; a bad report is ever the Whoremasters portion , and even whilst he lives he may be Administrator to his own good Name , for that dyes before him , and stinks above ground ; yea his reproach is such , as shall not only out-live Himself but his Posterity likewise : for it shall never be put out , the Town and Country shall ring of his baseness and dishonesty with the accent of shame . And as Harlots will bereave a man of his goods and good name , so will they shorten his days , as ( according to the observation of Herbalists ) those Plants dye soonest which run most into seed : and so likewise the Naturalists have observed , that the salacious Sparrows of all Birds are shortest lived , by reason of their immoderate and frequent copulation : and assuredly it was not without a Mystery , that ( as Plutarch informs us in his 23. Rom. Quaest . ) the things belonging to Funerals were ordered by the Roman Magistrates , to be sold in the Temple of Venus . Wherefore as the crasie Emperour Adrian said once inter turbam Medicorum pereo , amongst many Physitians I perish , so may many a Gallant say of himself , by accompanying my self with many Strumpets I have ruined my self . For such unclean Beasts , like Murrain Cattle , infect those that herd with them , with such foul diseases as will stick by them , when their best friends give them over ; their very Hairs having the falling-sickness , and whereas other men lose their lives , these cast them away ; not so much in hatred to themselves , as love to their Mistresses . I have read that Jovanni Zecca the famous Bolognian Physician , openly professed by his Bills to give a certain Antidote against taking of the French Pox , and when multitudes flockt to him , for his Medecine ( believing that it consisted of Pills , Potions , Diet ▪ drinks , Diaphoreticks , Salivations , Oils , Plaisters , Electuaries , Powders , and other such medicinal ingredients ) he only gave them the Picture of a Gallant drawn to the life , with his Nose eaten off , telling them , that the way how to use this Receipt , was , that just as they were about to lye with a lascivious Woman , they should take this Picture out of their bosoms , and seriously view and consider it , and if this did not preserve them from taking that foul Disease , he believed nothing would do it : how much more may I hope , that exposing to thy view the shame and deadliness of this sin , causing the loss of the Soul , which is more precious than that of the Nose , to make thee loath and abhor those shameful and pernicious courses , and dead all carnal desires in thee of eating those dainty Bits , which how savoury soever they seem in the chewing , are so mortiserous when swallowed down . For this sin of Carnality not only ruines a mans Estate , or impairs his health , but also like a Cancer eats into the very Soul ; for Harlots are the high-way to the Devil , when a man looks upon them with desire , he begins his Journey , when he sits toying and pratling with them , he mends his pace , and when he lies with them , his Journey is at an end . Since therefore the exercise of Venery is the high way to Beggary , to the losing of thy Credit and Reputation , to he shortning of thy life here , and the eternal loss of it hereafter , avoid it carefully . It is very true what Aristotle observes , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that the concupiscence of the flesh is less boundless than the unruly Sea : one Woman is enough for a mans Love , two too much for his Estate , three too few for his Lust . To avoid therefore the Temptations of the Flesh , I counsel thee not to frequent the Company of handsom , but immodest Women ; Platonick Love is but a meer Chimaera : if a man sit down and say Grace to it , he will soon fall to the Flesh that is set before him : to rely then upon the strength of thine own Chastity is more rash than wise , and therefore if thou makest profession of not staining thy Reputation with the spots of Lasciviousness , thou must shun all those that may entice or allure thee thereunto . For as one ingeniously speaks , 'T is not only a great piece of folly , but an infinite rashness , to make Gun-powder in a Smiths Shop , and hope to make people believe that there is no danger in it . In the next place . LIV. If thou desire to be rich , and continue so , shun high Play ; the way to keep what is thine own , is not to covet what is another mans . The common Gamester , who is never well at ease any longer than he is shuffling a Pack of Cards , will at last come to shuffle for his living ; and the Dice he delights in will in the end waste his Estate to the very bones ; for the Palsie ( I mean the shaking of his Elbow ) will be his overthrow : and when he hath played away his Patrimony he may curse the Bones , as well as the Whore-master crys out upon the Flesh . But some will say they pick out a pretty living by Play , indeed they cannot use a fitter term ; for as Vultures , they pick and prey upon others : But let them cast up their account , and in the end they shall find , that they put their Winnings in a broken Bag. Make not an Occupation of Play and Pastime , and though thou mayst sometimes recreate thy self ( for a Bow too much bended may break ) yet make not an hahit o using generous Delights , much less of bass ones . When thou art playing , look not pale for fear to lose , nor be transported with desire to win , lest thou fret , and sume , and disquiet thy self , and so at once lose thy patience together with thy Money . Therefore assure thy self , that the best Cast at Dice is to cast them quite away : For he that lays his Estate upon the Eyes of the Dice , will leave a small Estate for his own eyes to look upon in the end . LV. Beware of Flatterers , those that will commend in thee qualities which thou hast not , or too much extol those thou hast ; and will make thee believe , thou dost not know thy own Worth , and bless themselves with both their hands , if any thing proceed from thee worthy but meer commendation : thou must not give ear to these Claw-backs : but stop their passage , and bend thy Brows upon excessive praise ; never courting it otherwise , than as it follows upon just and apparent Merit : neither let the praises of others , no not of good men , be a Syrup to Insolency , but a Whetstone to set an edge upon thy good actions , that if it be not so as is reported , yet thou wilt have it so , because men report it . Neither let it be Musick in thine Ears to hear Flatterers commend thee , but open thy mouth and reprove these kind of persons ; for some of them level at their own profit , their Art is nothing but delightful Cosenage : the Fox in the Fable commended the Crow for his sweet Notes , to see if he could make him open his mouth , and let fall his Provant . These men will spend their Tongues to maintain their Teeth , they are Moths , which will eat out a liberal mans Coat , Vines , which will cling to the stalks , not for any true love to them , but for their own sustentation and support ; they follow not thee , but thy Fortunes , and will not leave thee till they wear thee Thred-bare : Therefore Antisthenes was wont to say , It were better for a man to fall among Ravens than among Flatterers ; for Ravens will eat none but the dead , but these will devour a man while he is alive . Again , some of them intend mischief , they flatter thee , that they may circumvent thee , and the more easily effect their malicious projects ; they are like the Bees sting , which pricketh deepest when it is fullest of Honey . Mark how the Butcher claweth the Ox , when he means to knock him on the head , how the Basilisk poysons those on whom he seems to cast an eye of regard , how the Crocodile intends to destroy those over whom she weeps and counterfeits compassion , and how the Syrens sing when they intend the Mariners shipwrack : and by these Instances , guard thy self from all such as claw and flatter others ; their words being as soft as oyl , but are indeed very Swords . These are those miry Dogs that make a man dirty by their sawning upon him . This foul Hypocrisie , Court Holy Water , dishonest Civility , and base Merchandise of Praises and Commendations is nothing else but gilded Treason , carrying thee up , as the Devil did our Saviour , to the top of a Pinnacle only to throw thee down headlong to break thy Neck It was an excellent Answer ( and if we duly consider the weightiness of it , never a whit the more to be despised , because Lycosthenes reports it ) which Diogenes gave to his Question , who asked him , What Beast did bite the sorest , that of wild beasts it was the Back ▪ biter , of tame beasts it was the Flatterer . By such Parasites ( my Son ) many young Gentlemen are drawn into Debauchery either by Wine or Women , either to haunt the Taverns , Inns , and Alehouses , or else the Stews and Brothel-houses , and to marry before they are wise . It is said of the Bear , that she licks her Cubs into form , but these by licking thee with a glozing Tongue ( if thou take not the more heedful care ) will utterly spoil and desorm thee . LVI . Next to the tame Beast the Flatterer , beware of the wild one the Backbiter ; but because thou canst not hinder him from speaking ill of thee , for his Tongue like a Mill-Clack will stil be waging , that he may grind to powder thy good Name , learn therefore to make this good use of his Clack as to make thy bread by it ; I mean to live so , that no credit shall be given to the slandering of his lips . Let thy Conversation be blameless and innocent , so shalt thou gag the Teeth of Malice it self , that it shall not be able to bite thee : and the consciousness of thine integrity will make thee to despise their Calumnies , and to value them no more than a generous Lyon doth the barking of a whifling Cur. Neither wilt thou any more be disturbed at them , than the Moon or the Sun is ever a whit the more troubled or molested at the noise of an ill favoured Ass , when he erects his Nose against the Clouds , and brays against the bright firmament of Heaven . Indeed it is the part of a silly Mouse , to bite every one , that does but touch him : they may cast a mist upon thy splendour , they cannot extinguish it , as the clouds that rise from Moors and Fens may take from the Sun the aspect of mens eyes , but they cannot deprive it of its own proper light : and at length they all vanish away . And truly the best way to stop a lying slaunderous mouth , is to take no notice at all of such false reports as are cast upon thee ; if thou wilt Father another mans Bastard , it must pass for thine own Child . Wherefore please not thine Enemies so much , as to make shew thou dost apprehend , that they have wronged thee ; omnis injuria est in sensu patientis . If malice shall see it hath wrought thy vexation , and made thee hurt thy self , it hath that it wished for : cast therefore a smiling contempt upon a false report , let it meet thee as if a Glass did encounter a Rock . Contempt puts ill will out of countenance , makes it withdraw it self , and quickly find its own Grave ; whereas to take it to heart is to owne the scandal , and crown the revenge of the Author . And thus the Back-biter by corroding thy reputation , shall reap no better advantage than the Serpent in the Fable did , who wore away his Teeth by gnawing the File . However be sure to give no just occasion to ill reports of thee , and then thy credit will be impregnable . The Forest in that other Apologue , had never needed to have complained how she was cut and hackled , had she not lent out of her own self the wood that made the Helve to the Hatchet ; nor had the Eagle felt the shaft sticking at her heart , had she not afforded some of her own Plumes to the feathering of it : Diamonds are not to be cut ▪ engraved , or pierced without some of their own powder concur to the work of the Engraver . As Arrows or Bullets that are shot into the air higher than our sight , yet touch not Heaven , and as they that overthrow Temples do not any way hurt the Godhead to whom they are consecrated ; so injuries affixed to a wise man return without effect ; and are to him but as Cold or Heat , Rain or Hail , the weather of the world . 'T is Womanish not to endure evil speaking , and therefore King David when he reprehended Abishai who would have had him been revenged on Shimei for his cursing , said , What have I to do with you O ye Sons of Zerviah : he calls them from the Mother not the Father , to shew , that they had too much of the Mother in them who were too impatient of evil speeches . LVII . Shun slothfulness and idleness , man is born to labour ; therefore nulla dies sine lineâ , follow thy Books , look to thy Grounds , yoke thine Oxen , follow the Plough , graft thy Trees , behold thy Cattel , and devise with thy self , how the increase of them may increase thy profit ; in Autumn pull thine Apples , in Summer reap thy Harvest , in the Spring trim thy Gardens , in Winter thy Woods : and if thou art desirous of profit , praise , Pleasure , or knowledge take pains , study , leave nothing unattempted . No Garland is given to the Sluggard , thou canst not enter into the Temple of Glory and Honour , but through the Temple of Virtue and Labour : Sloth loseth time , dulleth the understanding , nourisheth humours , choketh the brain , and hinders thrift ; exercise burnisheth the mind , without which it will eat it self out by its own rust ; and if the proud man be the Devils Chair of State , the idle man is his Cushion : and as the Ox that will not plough is brought to the slaughter-house , so lazy unprofitableness must look for its slaughter-house in the other world , if it take not a Newgate in the way here . LVIII . Above all things ( my Son ) make good use of thy Time , it is a very slippery thing , and like an handful of fine Sand will slip through thy Fingers , though thou grasp it never so fast : and whereas a man may have many of the things of this world at once , 't is certain that he can have but one Time , and that 's the present , the Time past is no longer thine , and the Time to come may never be thine , therefore make the best advantages that thou canst of the present moment of Time for that only is thine ; the Emblem will teach thee that Time is bald behind , there 's no hold fast there , catch it therefore by the Forelock , it is like a Bird let fly at large out of the hand which returns not , or as a word babbled out which cannot be recalled : O what would the prodigal squanderers , and the abusive Mispenders of their pretious Time , give , when the final judgment of eternal Death is passed upon them , for some few grains of that Sand , which seemed too many whilst they were passing through their Hour-glasses . Before Time therefore deliver thee up to Eternity , imitate him who having a very short Lease-hold , without impeachment of waste , takes all the advantage he can before the approaching Expiration of it ; he rips up the ground , eats up the grass ; sells down the Timber , cuts down the Coppices : do thou the like , sithence thy Time in this world is short , nay and what is more uncertain , match the velocity of it , with thy celerity in making all the beneficial uses of it , for ( as St. Augustine speaks elegantly ) he only may be said to be Master of Time , who in the swiftest current of it lays such foundations as are not transitory . Thus as Time flyes over thy head , thou mayest plume her of some of her Feathers , though thou canst not stop her flight : and though thou canst not recall Time past , yet thou mayest redeem it , and therefore to that end let me once more put thee in mind to ponder seriously the shortness , slipperiness , and uncertainty of Time , and withall the irrecoverableness of it , when thou hast let it pass : that thou mayest endeavour to make the best use of it , and not to slip occasion , it is a good admonition which Seneca gave to the Loiterer , Neglecter , and Mispender of his precious Time , Begin not then to live , when life begins to leave thee : Or rather bear in thy mind the saying of that Holy man who ( as I have read ) never heard the Clock strike , but he would say , now I have one hour less to live in , and one hour more to give an account for . LIX . Go to Bed with the Lamb and rise with the Lark ; late watching in the Night breedeth ill humours in the body , and long sleeping in the morning ungodliness in the mind : to rise betimes will make a man rich , healthy , and holy : Astronomers observe that the most propitious Planets of all the seven Sol and Mercury leave us at night , and return to shine upon us in the morning , which mystically intimates unto us that then our wits and knowledge are quickest and clearest , and that it is the fittest Time for the dispatch of all business , and humane Affairs ; which Tusser in his Book of good Husbandry thus plainly expresseth , Some work in the morning may trimly be done , That all the day after may hardly be won . Mounsieur Villeroy the great French Statesman wished his Son , alway to dispatch business in the morning , as if he were sure to lose his opportunity in the Afternoon . Apollonius coming very early in the morning , to Vespasians Gate , and finding him stirring , conjectured thereupon that he was worthy to command an Empire , and said unto one who accompanied him , undoubtedly this man will be an Emperour , he is so early a stirrer : To be brief , imitate rather Hercules in Zenophon , than Bonacius in Poggius ; before the one contended Dame Virtue , and Dame Pleasure , both seeking to seize upon his will , but at last after some wavering and debate , he submitted unto Virtue and rejected Pleasure : before Bonacius in the shape likewise of women , came Carefulness and Slothfulness , the former bade him to rise out of his lazy Den , and betake himself to some work ; but Dame Slothfulness advised him to lye still at his ease , and to beware of the mornings cold , and so while they were contending , he like a slothful Ideot remained neutral , continually looking when they would agree , until at length the greater part of the day was overpast to his loss and damage . 'T is a true saying , that Beds make Beggars ; I would not have thee therefore follow the common custom of many of our Gentry , who lye in Bed , and rise not , till their meat be ready to be set on the Table , to which after they are tirck'd and trimméd , have powdred and kembed their Perruques , have patched their Faces , and set themselves by their Looking-glasses for all day , sit down to eat and drink , and then rise up to play , or take a Coach to see a Comedy or Tragedy acted , and when that is done , to visit in a Masquerado their Mistresses , by which they ( as if God had put them into the World as he hath put the Leviathan into the Sea , only to take their pastime therein ) idly , vainly , and unprofitably spend their pretious time , for which they can neither give a good account to God or themselves . LX. Hate Wastfulness and Vnthristiness , for they will bring thee into necessity , and then thou must live like a Dron̄e , if not by wicked shifting , yet by base beggary . Thrist is a great Vertue , having diligence to provide things necessary truly and justly , and care to save and keep when gotten : yet be thristy without filthy niggardness and unmercifulness , but give thy Need , thine Honour , thy Friend , the Church , and the Poor their dues ; never exceed thy Income , nay I would not have thee live up to the height of it , 't is an old Saw. If Youth did know what Age would crave , Many a Penny he would save . By no means run in debt , neither do thou break any thing of thy Stock ; 't is related of the Stone Tirrhenus , how that being whole , it swimmeth , but never so little diminished , it sinketh to the bottom ; so he who keeps his stock full is ever afloat , but wasting of his store , by degrees becometh Bankrupt ; neither let thy liberality exceed thine ability ; he that giveth beyond his power is prodigal , he that giveth in measure is liberal , he that giveth nothing at all is a Niggard . Follow the example of those young Gentlemen , who coming to their Wealth before they come to their Wits , run beyond the Constable , and live without compass , making their own Hands their Executors , their own Eyes their Overseers , and all their Purchases with Dedimus and Concessimus . LXI . Enter not into Bonds , no not for thy best Friends . King Solomon , who in his time was the wisest man in the World , tells us , that he that hateth suretiship is sure . He that obliges himself to pay another mans Debt , takes the Shackles from his Feet , and claps them on upon his own ; it is as rare to see a rich Surety as a black Swan : and he that endeth to all that will borrow , sheweth great good will , but little wit. If thou lend a round Sum of Money be sure to have either a Lease or a Mortgage of Land made over , or two or three good Sureties bound to thee for it : either of these , and especially the two first are good Gages to borrow by . LXII . Entertain such men as shall be trusty ; for if thou keep a Wolf within thy doors to do mischief , or a Fox to work craft and subtilty , thou shalt find it as perillous , as if in thy Barn thou shouldst maintain Rats , and in thy Ground Moles . Let thy Maidens be such as seem readier to take pains than follow pleasure , willinger to dress up their House than their heads , not so fine-fingered as to call for a Lute , when they should use a Distaff , not so dainty-mouth'd as that their silken Throats should swallow no Packthread . Chuse such Servants as shall be willing to learn whatsoever is necessary , faithful in performing whatsoever is their duty , careful in seeking all honest means to profit thee , and silent in Tongue , in not revealing abroad what thou dost at home , and in not replying to , or contradicting of what thou commandest them to do ; never endure those that will answer again , when they are reproved by thee for the neglect of their Duty ; especially take care that they be seasoned with the fear of God. He that entertains one addicted to Lyes , entertains a Thief ; and he that admits a common Swearer or a debauch'd person into the bowels of his Family , admits a Jonah that may sink his Ship. Make not thy Servants too familiar with thee , for that will in the end bring thee into contempt with them ; it hath been ever observed , that gentle and clement Princes have more rebellious Subjects than those that are rough and fierce , that loving and indulgent Parents more ungracious Children than those who are rigid and austere , and that soft and mild Masters more disobedient Servants than those that are harsh and severe . Amongst other things ( my Son ) if thou hast a regard to Thrift , keep no more Cats than will kill Mice ; my meaning is , retain not more Servants in thy Family than are for thy profit or advantage ; a long Retinue may make thy State the greater , but it will make thine Estate the less ; the length of the Peacocks Train makes his Wings the shorter . LXIII . There are some that will not tap their Beer till it be sowre , nor cut their Bread and Cheese till it be mouldy , or their Meat till it be soisty ; some again will cobble their Shoos , till , like Theseus his Ship , none of the first Materials of them remain ; some will drive into them so many Hob-nails and Sparabils , as they may be rather said to be - shod like Horses than shooed like Men ; some will burn only Rush or Pissing Candles , and all this but to eke out their Store , and others rather than they will be at the Charge of a Quarrel or Pane of Glass , will stop the hole in their Windows with an old Stockin or a Wad of Straw ; nay I have heard of an old Woman , who would commonly sit bare-breech'd to save her Petticoats : all which are to be abhorred , because they do not so much express any good Husbandry and Thrift as base Sordidness and Niggardize . These and the like petty Arts leave to those covetous Misers , who heap up Riches for they know not whom . LXIV . Be not hasty to marry , it is better to have one Plow going than two Cradles , and more profit to have a Barn filled than a Bed. We are told in holy Writ , that it is better not to marry , but withal we are told there also , that it is better to marry than to burn . It is not unlikely that those persons that live and dye pure and unspotted Virgins , shall sit in Heaven next to the Martyrs , and wear Crowns as they do , whilst such as are married and live Chastly in that state and condition of life , shall wear Coronets only ; but a pure and unspotted Virginity is very rarely attained among Men and Women , whose half of themselves consists of flesh and blood ; and therefore if thou canst not live chastly in a single life make use of the remedy , which God hath prescribed thee , and that is Marriage , which is an honourable estate amongst all men : but yet if thou must needs marry , be sure to chuse such a Wife as may bring with her such advantages to thee , as may at least counter-ballance all the inconveniences of a married life ; for many leap ▪ like the Mouse in the Fable , into the Brass-pan , without considering at all such inconveniences , and afterwards would fain leap out again , but cannot . And truly ( my Son ) if a man well ponder before-hand the continual cares and fears , and the frequent jars and discontents , which Man and Wife suffer under , he will discover , that Marriage , like the Medicine prescribed for the disease commonly called the Squinzy , hath as much Album Graecum as Honey in it : and thus thou mayst perceive my great love to thee , in preferring the peace and quietness of thy life before the propagating of my Name and Posterity ; nevertheless in this Matter I leave thee to thine own liberty and discretion . But because by thy sanguine and debonaire Complexion I forbode , that thine inclinations will tend to a married life , I would have thee observe these Instructions in the choice of her whom thou art minded to make thy Bed-fellow . Chuse such a one as may be more commended for her Vertues than her Beauty ; a good Huswife is a great Patrimony , and she is most honourable who is most chast . In thy choice and election mark these four , P s Piety , Parentage , Proportion , Portion . The first P. is Piety : see in the first place that she be piously brought up in the fear of God , well educated , of civil and modest Deportment and Behaviour , avoid her that is fantastical , for she will still be hurrying thee up to London ; or that is ambitious , to be taken for a Wit , for it is more than an even lay but she will attempt to make thee a Fool ; nor chuse her the rather , because like a pretty Parakeeto , she can speak a little French or Italian , for one Tongue is enough in conscience for a Woman , or because she is Poetically given , and can make a good Verse , for it would be much better that she were able to make thee a good Pudding . But note this , that though I would have her whom thou wouldst mate with to be pious , I would not have her to be precise ; for it is commonly found , that those Women are most Heart hollow , who are most Lip-holy , and such a one will nibble thine Estate worse than the Rats will thy Holland or thy Chedder Cheese , by stealing out of it large contributions to the Bartholomew Martyrs . The second P. is Parentage : see that she come of good and honest Parentage , and such as are of a good Repute in their Country ; a good Wise can hardly be chosen out of a wicked and irreligious Family ; a man cannot expect to gather Grapes from Thorns , or Figs from Thistles . : If the Spring-head be poysoned , so will the Streams ; it is a Rabbinical Proverb , Take not a Wise out of that Family wherein there is a Publican , for such are all Publicans . If thou desirest to be the Sire of an happy Son , or the Father of a fortunate Child , abstain from those Women that are either base of Birth , or bare of Honesty . The third P. to be observed in the chusing of a Wife , is Proportion ; let the Woman thou shalt pitch upon be built up with comely parts and Features . Love ever first enters in at the Eye , and to keep it warm and alive , it is fit that Member should be pleased . When one asked a very homely Woman her name , she told him it was Rebecca , upon which he replied , I thought your name had been Asarabecca , for I can hardly behold you without ridding of my stomach : have a care therefore , notwithstanding all other advantages , that thou match not with such a one as will sooner make thee Stomach-sick than Love-sick ; and be not of Nat. Feeld , the Players humour , who vowed , that if the old Woman that crawled upon her tail at Holborn-Bridge , had a thousand pound for her Portion , he would marry her and adorn her Breech with a French Velvet Hood . Neither for gain or lucre sake marry some rich but very old Widow , lest when she kisses thee she drop her Teeth ( if she have any ) into thy mouth ; but perhaps thou mayst hope that thou shalt outlive her , but this is just as if a man should hang himself , in hope that some body or other may come before he be dead , and cut the Rope . The fourth and last P. is Portion , and this thou must look after , that in tying thy self fast , thou dost not undo thy self ; in thy Match thou must respect the mending of thine Estate and Fortunes ; other things may help and be an Appendix , but 't is Wealth must be the Substance , without which never expect to eat thy Bread without Gravel in it , and if Grist be wanting , the Mill stones will quickly set the Mill on fire . When thou art married , if thy Wife in the first month chide and chafe , thou must hear without reply , and endure with patience ; for they that cannot suffer the wranglings of young married Women , are not unlike to those , that tasting the Grape to be sowre before it be ripe , leave to gather it , when it is ; or to those , who being stung with the Bee forsake the Honey ; or else to those , who will pull off the Heads of their Poultry , because they will sometimes cackle ; though for the sake of the Eggs they lay , they should ( as Socrates did with his Zantippe ) bear the more with them . Fair means will do more with crabbed Natures than force , as the Sun in the Fable , by fairly shining on the Traveller made him lay aside his Cloak , whereas the ruffling wind made him gird it the faster about him . In like manner , if the Husband thinks to make his Woman the more tractable , and to bow to him by force , he shall find her Joynts to be but the stiffer still ; but mild words , gentle perswasions , good counsel , and fair intreaties , like Nerve Oyl , will supple them . Musical Instruments , the softlier they are touched , the sweeter they sound . A Wife , like a mettlesom Horse , will be stark mad , if reined in too hard , but with a gentle curb she will bear a white mouth . If a Husband will after an unmanly manner fight with his Wife , and beat her Ribs , if she have not the more Grace , 't is the way to make her break his Forehead . And further I must tell thee , that the fallings out of Man and Wife betwixt themselves , are like the breakings of each others bones , there is no rest or case till they be set and composed again . If the cross Husband wrest one way , and the cross-grain'd Wife another , they both together as it were twist a Rope to hang themselves . Indeed Marriage is either an Heaven or an Hell upon Earth ; where there is Love and Vnity , there it is an Heaven ; where Jars and Discontents , there it is an Hell. All therefore who desire in that estate and condition of life to make themselves happy , must mutually be good and kind to each other ▪ for as a good Jack makes a good Jill , so a good Jill makes a good Jack . Be not too imperious over thy Wise ▪ for that will make her to hate thee ; neither be too fond and uxorious , for that will make her to disdain thee : let her neither be thy Slave nor thy Soveraign , neither tread her under thy foot , nor set her upon thy head . God made Woman at first of a Rib , which is placed between both . In the Government of thy Houshold use her hands as well as thine own eyes ; for good Husbandry and Huswifry consists as well in setling of things , as in looking to them ; if thou rule in the Hall or Parlour , let her rule in the Kitchin and Bed-Chamber . To be short , let the Keys hang at her Girdle , but the Purse at thine own : so shalt thou know what thou dost spend , and how she can spare ; yet do not penuriously keep her too bare of money , but let thy Hen peck at thy Barn-door , though thou set her not to pick at the whole heap . Above all things when thou art married , avoid Jealousie ; a mans mistrust that his Wife is dishonest , may but the sooner make her so : and truly it is either needless or bootless to do so ; it is not the Italian Lock , nor the close Mewings of her up like a Haggard that will secure her Chastity , who is addicted to Wantonness ; if Pasiphae cannot have the company of a man , she will be bull'd and admit a Bull ; and an ugly Dwars , litt●e more than a Cubit high , if she cannot have an handsom proper man , shall serve the turn of the lascivious Queen ( Quean I should have said ) of whom the Poet Ariosto makes mention : For if a Woman be modest no gold will , like Danae , corrupt her ; and if she be immodest , nor grief nor care will amend her . Jealousie is a fire to which every thing adds fuel : if a jealous mans Wife frown , he straight conjectures , either it is , because she hates him , or loves others better ; if she smile , it is because she hath had success in her Love , or it is to entice another to love her ; if she turns aside her head from any man , he thinks that she only dissembles ; if she cast an eye upon him , he thinks she courts him , and then , like a man possest with a Frenzy , he stamps and stares , and tears his hair from his head , and crys out , that neither fire in the Straw , nor love in a Womans looks can be hid . Thus he watcheth over every gesture and behaviour of his Consort , as a Cat watcheth over a M●use , and seeks for that he would not find ; like him that goes to the House of Office in the dark feeling about the Seat , for that which he is afraid to meet with . LXV . Eat not thine own Heart , that is , do not vex thy self with thine own inward thoughts , neither lay the load of such things as grieve thee upon thine own self ; fire pent in burns the more furiously , and Bottles too close cork't up , often fly all in pie es , by the strength of the Spirits with which they are filled ; for as those Wounds are most dangerous that bleed inward , so are those griefs which are too closely concealed : However keep thy mishaps secret from thine Enemy , that he may not rejoyce at them , but reveal them to thy sincere Friend , that he may pity , advise , and help thee , if he can , or at least may bear a part with thee : Burdens divided are easily born . Those that want true Friends , to whom they may open themselves , tell their minds , and impart their vexations and troubles , are strange Cannibals , for they eat their own hearts . LXVI . Have therefore with Pylades an Orestes , with Damon a Pythias , some faithful Friend to whom thou maist impart thy griefs and joys , thy fears and hopes , thy suspicions and counsels , thy intentions and affairs , and whatsoever lyeth hard upon thy heart . Two fast Friends are like Mill-stones which are never singly made use of but by couples , and each standeth in need of the others help for the performance of the work whereunto they are ordained . Yet take good heed with whom thou dost shake hands and contract friendship ; try the man thou meanest to trust , lest shining like the Carbuncle , as if he had fire , he be found when he is proved to be as cold as Ice . A wise Souldier will try the proof of his Armour before he gird it about him . Learn out therefore ( before thou take a friend into thy bosom ) how he hath dealt with others with whom he hath contracted friendship ; for look how he hath served them , so will he likewise deal with thee : and try him before thou hast need of him , so shalt thou find what his readiness will be , to serve thee when necessity requires his help . When thou hast gotten a true Friend , be sure to keep him , be faithful to him , and contented with him ; it is not a Paradox to say , He that hath many Friends hath none ; for true Friends are like Turtles , which go by pairs , not like Starlings , which fly in flocks . LXVII . Keep thy Secrets , if they be of any great moment to thy self ; but be sure , if thou impart them , let it be to none but thy faithful Friend ; remember that whatever three persons know , it commonly then ceaseth to be any longer a Secret : imitate the Reservation of that wise Roman , who professed , that if he thought his Shirt did know his Secrets , he would burn it . He that tells his Errand to every one he meets , is a babbling Fool ; and he that discovers unto others his intentions before-hand , courts his own disappointment : And as I would not have thee to discover thine own secrets , so neither would I have thee to be curious and inquisitive into the secrets of others ; lest thou be put off with a slur , as the Country-man in Plutarch , put him off , who inquired what he carried so close in his Basket , saying ; Friend , if you might know what it is , I should not carry it so close covered as it is . Or as that General slighted the curiosity of his Lieutenant General , who came to know when and whither they should march , saying , Sir , when the Trumpet sounds you shall know . But above all , in this matter be cautious , that you trust not a Womans breast with such secrets as thou wouldst have no man know ; for , like Sieves , they are rimarum plenae , and can hold nothing that is poured into them ; and their mouths can no more hold long a secret , than they can a spoonful of scalding Custard . All that may be said , to excuse a mans folly in this particular is , that we may venture to tell them our secrets , because no wise man will imagine , that he may find them there reposited , unless it be by some very Fool. The Story of Papirius Pretextatus will come in here very pat to our purpose , who being but a young Boy , went along with his Father into the Senate-house , where many weighty matters were debated , from whence when he came home , his Mother ( being very curious and inquisitive ) took him aside privately , and questioned him what was said and done there , the Youth , ultra aetatem sapiens , being wise and discreet beyond his years , to elude her curiosity , and to keep from her the Secrets of State , told her , that the Senate had concluded , that every man should have two Wives ; upon this she gathered the Roman Matrons together , and told them what her Son had told her ; who all unanimously went presently to the Senate , and petitioned them , that since they had decreed , that every man should have two Wives , that they would also make a second Decree , that every Woman should have two Husbands : the Senate greatly marvelled at this sudden coming of the Women and their words , till at length understanding how it was , they highly admired and commended the Boy for his wit and secrecy ; and to honour him the more , admitted him ( though but a Child ) to be a Member of the House . It seems ( though he was but a green Youth ) that he had imbibed this Principle ( though I believe it was not from his Mothers milk ) that there is neither safety nor wisdom in it , for a man to intrust a Woman with those privacies , which are of any great importance , and require such secrecy , as is not to be found or expected amongst tatling Gossips . LXVIII . Envy no mans Purse or Estate , because it is richer than thine ; the envious man doth murder himself ; for envy consumeth the heart wherein it is nourished , as the Moth doth the Garment whereof and wherein it was bred . Not like the Maid Avicen speaks of , who feeding her self with poyson , was nevertheless very healthful , but yet infected others with her venemous breath : But the envious man may be compared to the poysonous Amphisbaena , which instead of hurting others , bites and tears her self ; who suffers his indignation at other mens good , like the Fox which the Lacedemonian Boy stole and hid under his Coat , to gnaw out his own bowels . But it is enough to discountenance this Vice , that in the Gospel the Devil himself is called the envious Man. LXIX . As I would have thee shun Envy , so likewise be thou sure to avoid malice and hatred , he that hates another man is the Patient , he that is hated is the Agent , contrary to the sound of the words ; for the Hater is in torment , the Hated in ease : so that nothing in this World is so much to be hated as hate it self . LXX . Take heed of being vindicative ; for this as an Imposthume breaking forth , commonly strangles and choaks a man with his own blood : the Bee might keep her sting still , and not live like a Drone , did she not in her anger imploy it to envenom the flesh of him that puts her from him . It is safer to forget an injury or smother it , than to go about to avenge it , if it were for nothing but this , yet this were punishment enough , that when thou goest about to avenge thy self upon any man , all shall be sure to be laid open in Choler that can be remembered , and his Tongue shall cast all thy faults in thy teeth . If he were a Friend that offended thee ( saith Seneca ) he did that he meant not ; if an Enemy , he did but what he well might be expected to have done . If a wise man wrong thee , endure him ; if a Fool , forgive him . Be not so foolish as to waste time in the pursuit of an Ignis Fatuus , which burns only to light thee to some Bog or Precipice : yet because thou mayst say that forbearance will make men presumptuous , and a second wrong is provoked by digesting the first , therefore I answer , thou mayst revenge wrong , but not by violence , but by Law. LXXI . Yet avoid going to Law as much as possibly thou canst ; for be thy Cause never so good , thou mayst nevertheless not only fear the packing and embracing of the Jury , the suborning of false Witnesses , the bribing of the Judge , and those that are of Counsel with thee , but also the quickness of the Wit , the subtilty of the Rhetorick , and the volubility of the Tongue of those that are fee'd to plead against thee . There was a Lawyer that injuriously kept a poor mans Cow from him , wherefore he went immediately and complained to the King , who having heard his complaint , told him , that he would hear what the other could say to the matter , nay then , said the poor man , If you hear him speak , I shall surely lose my Cow ; for he thought that the smooth Speeches and eloquent Rhetorick of his Adversary would effascinate the Kings ears , and lead him which way he pleased . To this our purpose , it is worthy the observation , which Socrates said before the Judges in his own Defence , touching his Accusers , My Lords ( saith he ) I know not how you have been affected with mine Accusers Eloquence while you heard them speak ; for my own part I assure you , that I whom it toucheth most , was almost drawn to believe , that all they said , though against my self was true , when they scarcely uttered one word of truth . Avoid therefore I say once more , the waging of Law , especially I would not have thee go to the Lawyer for every toy or trifle ; for that will be to make him Rich , and thy self a Beggar . An honest Atturney gave an intimate Friend of his that had commenced a Suit at Law against another , this counsel ( and truly he deserved a good Fee for it ) Make an end with the Lawyers , before they make an end of thee . The Courts of the Law ( saith my Lord Verulam in his Essays ) are like those Bramble-bushes , whereunto while the sheep fly for defence and succour , they are sure to lose part of their Fleeces . There is an old Story , that a blind man and a lame man went to travel together by the Sea side , the lime man who was carried on the blind mans shoulders espyed an Oyster , which he claimed because he espyed it , the other claimed his share , because he carried him to the place where he found it , the case being doubtful , they referred it to the next man they met , who in the debating of the matter eat the Oyster , and gave them the shells . Thus it fareth with many who go to Law , the Lawyers eat the fish , and give them the shells , that is , they bleed their Purses , and that in a little time cures the heat of their contentions as Phlebotomy cures Fevers and Inflammations . Yet I would not have thee lose thy Right , nor suffer thy self to be fooled , wronged , and cheated , nor to let every Carrion Crow ride upon thy back and pick out thine eyes : and to the end thou thy self mayst not run into the lapse of the Law , I advise thee to live honestly , to trespass no man wilfully , and to render every man his due carefully . LXXII . It well becomes a Gentleman to make some inspection into the Laws of the Land , which I advise thee to do ; that if thou bee'st commissionated to be in thy Country a Justice of the Peace , all thy wit to manage that Office may not lye only in the Skull of thy Clark : For as one of our modern Poets saith , It is the Clark many times that makes the Justice of the Peace . Many without skill in this particular , have run into very dangerous Premunires ; but besides this will make thee know , how to secure thy Estate against those who may endeavour to pick a hole in it ; He had need ( we say ) of a long Spoon that eats with the Devil . And yet further , this will discover to thee the knavery or honesty of thy Lawyer in the managery of thy Law-suits , in case thou be so unhappy as to be involved in ●…ny But I would not have thee to study the Quirks of the Law , for this may induce thee for thine advantage to be a Knave ; unless thou study them meerly to secure and defend thy self from them . Briefly , study to attain so much knowledge in the Law as may sufficiently inform thee of thine own Right , but not so much as to make thee quarrelsom and contentious with thy Neighbour or Parson ; for this were to put a Sword into a Mad-mans hand . It is great pity , that it is so true , which once I heard a wise man say , That a good Lawyer is very seldom a good Neighbour . LXXIII . Avoid Duels ; there are some whose fingers itch to be dipt in blood : and as among contentious men it is but a word and a writ , so among swaggering Hectors it is but a word and a wound . But thou wilt say , I think it a stain to my Credit , and a disgrace to my Name , if I shall not answer him , who having abused me in words , hath sent me the length of his Sword , and from whom I have received a proud Challenge : to this I reply , Wilt thou shew such a base esteem of thy self , and set so low a rate on thy life , as to stake it for a Brawl and a few rash words of an Enemy , and yet wouldst be highly esteemed of others ? In such a case be not troubled with a frivolous report of Dishonour , rather be prodigal of thy Reputation than thy life ; run not wilfully into an Aceldama , into the Grave , into Hell to be counted valorous , care not so much for the shame of the world as the danger of thy body and soul . Men of great Valour have rejected Challenges , which have proceeded from those who have had more heart than brain , more head than wit , and that without any blemish at all to their Credit . When Anthony challenged Augustus , he answered , That if Anthony were weary of life , there were ways enough to death besides Duelling . But say , some will call thee a Coward , yet fear not shame so much as sin : thou hast but one body , do not adventure it upon the Sword of an Enemy , but one Soul , do not adventure it upon the Sword of God. Love a good Name , but yet as an Handmaid of Vertue ; woo and court common Fame no further than it follows upon honest courses and vertuous actions , and think thy self but base , if thou shouldst depend upon vulgar breath , which is commonly none of the sweetest . It is as great a Symptom of a crazy Reputation , as it is of a crazy body , to be too impatient upon every slight touch . And truly ( methinks ) it is strange ▪ that men should so eagerly pursue Honour , and so hotly court her , as to vindicate her upon any man , who should but touch her , though never so slightly , with the hazard both of body and soul . Whilst in their impious and inhumane Duels they make themselves , if they survive their Antagonists , either liable to be hanged by the Laws of men , or to be damn'd by the Laws of God : or finally liable to both , if God shew not more mercy to them , than they did to their Brethren , whose blood they spilt in some vain , or perhaps drunken Brabble . But let them pass as dangerous men to be conversed withal , only 't were good men would hearken to Gonsalvo , that famous Commander , who was wont to say , that a Gentlemans honour should be de telâ crassiore , of a stronger warp or web , than that every slight thing should catch in it , and be thought able to break it . Think besides the bloody fact being once committed , of those terrours which will ( if thou hast any Grace left in thee ) dog thy Conscience with the srightful Vissions of thy murthered Friend ; and think moreover , how together with him thou hast murdered ( unless thou canst procure a pardon ) thy poor Children , and undone thy whole Family ; and laid such a blemish upon thy posterity after thee , as peradventure shall never be blotted out again , the stain being laid so deep in blood . LXXIV . Be not too ventrous in exposing thy self , like a Knight Errand , to needness dangers ; 't is an unhappy Proverb , He that courts perils shall dye the Devils Martyr . I have heard that in our last Civil Wars , a young Cavaliero being well mounted , started out to pickeer with another of the Enemies side and killed him , and returning in a vain glorious manner to his Company , Prince Rupert , who then commanded that Party , and was a Spectator of his Bravery , asked him this Question , Sir , pray resolve me , whether you are an elder or a younger Brother ? who replying , that he was an elder Brother , the Prince told him , That he had then that day shewed his younger Brother fair play for it . And what got my Gallant by this , but instead of the applause he expected , the estimation of being Fool Hardy , rather than truly valiant . As I would not have thee kneel with the Camel to take up a burden , under which thou canst not rise again , so with the Elephant , I would have thee , like a stout man , to bear a Castle , if it be laid upon thy back ▪ There is a time for the tolerancy of a mans crosses ; and therefore neither like the wild Beast bred in a cold Climat , run from the fire , nor like a Moth , flittering about the Candle , run into it . LXXV . Come not presumptuousty into places where some are contagiously sick , lest thou come untimely to thy Grave : come not within the lists of destruction , he that would not fall into the pit , must not approach the brink . Likewise bestow cost , as long as thou mayst , to continue thy life , by upholding and repairing thy Cottage of clay . It is against the course of Nature , and a way to tempt the very God of Nature to destroy thee , wilfully to hinder thy health , or not to seek means to preserve it . God sendeth several Diseases , and hath appointed several Medicines as Remedies to encounter them : therefore honour the Physician , and with King Hezekiah , lay a plaister upon the Boil , say not mans life hath a period , as the Sea hath its bounds , beyond which it cannot pass ; and therefore think not like a Turk , that if thy time be not yet come , that though thou thrust thy head into a Cannon , it cannot kill thee ; for though no man can live one minute beyond the set time God hath appointed him to live , yet by refusing the due means to preserve thy self , or by thy sins and deb nicheries , thou mayst cut thy days the shorter . God that predestines the end , doth as well predestine the means tending to the attainment thereof . This the Psalmist makes evident , when he tells us , The wicked and blood-thirsty men shall not live out half their days . And we may observe by our daily experiences , that men in Feavers , Squinancies , and Pleurisies are preserved many years longer by timely Phlebotomy , who without such means would unavoidably and immediately perish . To this purpose I have read a remarkable Spanish Story , and it is this : There was in Toledo a debauched young Gentleman , scarce twenty years of age , who for Robbery and Murder was condemned to dye , and being hanged , on the day of Execution , upon a Gibbet , suddenly there grew out of his , a little before unflidged Chin , a long Beard , white as Snow , which when the Archbishop of the place , coming to the Gallows , observed ; he gave the amazed people that stood by this conjecture of so strange an Accident , that God by this wonderful thing had shewn , that if the young Man had not cut himself off by his vitious and abominable courses , he might have lived to an extreme old age . Say not when thy Glass is run , do what thou wilt , thou canst stay no longer , and the Clock will strike when the Minutes be past , neither say , that that which must be shall be , and let death seek thee , yet it shall not find thee , till thy time be come , and therefore away with Physick , what shall means do ? For then a Rope upon thee , try every Knife , eat Coloquintida thy belly full , frequent places , where the Air about thee doth infect , and where the breath of one body is poyson to another , and by the like reason thou mayst excuse thy wickedness , and be desperately and dissolutely careless : But in matters of Hope , where the end is not known , use means with Asa , though thou relye not upon them ; and though many times they avail not , yet take thou all the fairest ways , of all lawful remedies , since Gods determinations are concealed from thee . And be not like those miserable minded men , who if they fall sick , had rather dye a thousand deaths than pay the Apothecaries Bills . Upon the Miser in the Epigram , the Quipp lay heavier than his Grave stone , in which it was engraven , Here lies Father Sparges , Who dy'd to save Charges . Some others there be , who starve their bodies to make their purses fat , and put their bellies into their bags , as the Epicures put their money into their bellies , resembling a Dog in a Wheel , who roasts meat for others , but never a good bit for himself . Others warm themselves only with the sticks of a Crows Nest , and dare not take so much as a Faggot-stick out of their Stacks and Piles , which they make to out-live all the Woods in the Country round about them : and hoard their Corn , rather to feed Rats and Mice , than themselves ; so that they will not afford their own selves such necessaries as may keep them in good sort , and whereby they may preserve their lives . Yet I would not have thee to be like those , who for every Qualm take a Receipt , and cannot make two Meals , unless Galen or Hippocrates stand by their Trenchers ; if thou dost so , thy purse will ever be without money , and thy body never without diseases . LXXVI . I would have thee to follow thy Study , and those Affairs in which thou art concerned ; yet not to seek so immoderately the Wealth of thy Brain or Purse , as to lose the Health of thy Body ; neglect not thy body to accomplish thy mind : when thy weakness checks thee , and thy body controuls thee from assiduous , hard , and immoderate study , and from great cares and affairs of importance , affect not so much knowledge or wealth , as to debar thy self of those things , whereby thy health may be regained or retained . LXXVII . Further , I advise thee to study Men as well as Books ; take heed of those that wink with one eye , and see with the other , it is a Proverb worth observation , He that winks with one eye , and sees with t' other , I will not turst him , though he were my Brother . Likewise take heed of those , that have their Beards of two colours , or their Head of one colour , and their Beard of another , for they are mark't ; and another Proverb bids us beware of those , whom God hath marked . A mans disposition is never better known than when he is crossed , as Proteus never changed shapes , till Hercules griped him ; but what a man is inward , is best to be discovered by these three things , Oculis , by his Eyes , Loculis ; Purse , Poculis , Cups . To this we may add a forth , and that is Anger ; for this passion will lay him open , as the fire burning in the Chimney , discovers all the things that are in the Room : and besides these four things , the very Lineaments , Colour , Complexion , and Habitude of the Body may give us some light of the Qualities and Dispositions of Men and Women , as is signified by these Rimes , in which the small Poet speaking first of Women , gives us this account . Fair and foolish , little and loud , Long and lazie , black and proud , Fat and merry , lean and sad , Pale and peevish , red and bad . Then for Men he gives us this Account following . To a red man read thy read , To a brown man break thy bread , At a pale man draw thy Knife , From a black man keep thy Wise . LXXVIII . If thou takest Tobacco , which it matters not , whether thou dost , or no , yet if thou takest it moderately and Physically , it may as lawfully be taken as well as other things ▪ which God hath afforded us , for our delight as well as our necessity : but to take it vainly as too many do , who are never well any longer than the Pipe , like a Turkey-Cocks snout , hangs dangling under their Noses , or to take it meerly to pass away thy pretious time , or as a salt bit to draw down thy Liquor , or as an help to discourse , is both ridiculous and blame-worthy : but besides , this Indian Weed immoderately taken , is very prejudicial to the bodies health , it dries up the Lungs , it putrifies the Breath , and being of a Narcotick quality , it stupifies the Brain , and combines with the Bottle , to make a man a very Sot : which mischiefs and inconveniencies , are altogether summed up in these Rimes , by another small Poet. Tobacco that outlandish Weed , It dries the brain , and spoils the seed , It dulls the spirit , it dims the sight , It robs a Woman of her right . LXXIX . Hate ingratitude above all things , for nothing is more hateful to God and Man : no Billings-gate Scold can fix a worse name upon thee , than to call thee an ungrateful person : it is worthy of remark , that unthankfulness and unholiness in sacred Writ , like an Harl of Hellish Hounds , are coupled together : never therefore forget to be thankful to any one from whom thou hast received a courtesie or benefit ; in this thou wilt shew both grace and wit , for thankfulness for the present benefits received , makes way for future ones . In the whole course of Nature , man may read a Lecture of gratitude ; Rivers return their floods into the Ocean , from whence they derived their streams ; the Clouds of Heaven repay the exhalations and vapours , which the earth sent up to them , with fruitful Flowers ; thy Flocks and thy Kine recompence the Pasture and Fodder thou affordest them , with their Fleeces and their Milk ; and thy Bees , for thy kindness in hiving them in thy Garden requite thy love , with their Wax and Honey : and as I would not have thee be ungrateful thy self , so I advise thee to guard thy self against such as are so ; for these like the savage Bears will be apt to bite the Water that quenches their thirst . Save a Thief from the Gallows and he will cut thy throat : indeed there are not a few such Villains to be sound in the world , who are apt to return evil for good , and are not ashamed to degenerate into such Monsters ( Monsters did I call them ? I might rather have termed them Devils , who labour to damn them the deepest , that serve them the most ) as to hurt or betray those , to whom they are by Nature , by Blood , and by kindnesses most engaged and obliged . When King Richard the Third pursued the Duke of Buckingham , to put him to death ( for usurping Tyrants use to cut down the stairs by which they climb up to their height ) the Duke in his extremity did flye to one Bannister his Servant , upon whom he had bestowed great Means to inrich him . Bannister very carefully conveyed him into a Coppice ▪ adjoining to his Mansion House and there preserved him , but within a while there is a Proclamation made , that whosoever could reveal where the Duke was , if he were a Bondslave , he should be enfranchised , and made free ; if a Freeman , he should have a General Pardon , and be rewarded with a thousand Pounds , hereupon Bannister either for fear of danger , if he did conceal him , or hope of gain , if he did reveal him , bewrayed where his Master was , whereupon he was apprehended and carried to Shrewsbury where King Richard then lay , and there without Arraignment or any legal proceeding , he was in the Market place beheaded : Whether Bannister received the proclaimed Reward , or no , is uncertain ; King Richard ( loving the Treason but hating the Traytor ) said ( as it is reported ) that he that would be false to so good a Master , would never be true to any , but certain it is , he received the Reward of a Villain , from Divine Justice ; for himself was after hanged for murther , his eldest Daughter was deflowered by one of his Carters , or ( as some say ) strucken with a foul Leprosie , his eldest Son in a desperate Lunacy destroyed himself , and was found to have done so , by the Coroners inquest , and his younger Son was drowned in a shallow Puddle . LXXX . Be faithful to thy Prince and Country ; and hate Rebellion and Treason as thou wouldst the Devil himself , for he was the first Rebel and Traytor that ever was : it is but just that his heart should be pulled out of his breast alive , who bears a false one to his Prince . Neither do thou grumble or repine at the Taxes and Impositions which are laid upon thee ; for this is all thou payest to thy Soveraign , who , by his good Government and just Laws secures thy Peace and Safety , thy Life and Liberty , thy Estate and Religion . Observe it well , that in all Ages the sin of Rebellion hath constantly been attended with one swinging vengeance or other . Take one remarkable instance of this , in Corah , Dathan , and Abiram , for whom the Earth it self turned Sexton , and made their Graves . And as I would have thee according to Christs injunction , Give unto Caesar the things which are Caesars , so would I have thee , Give unto God the things which are Gods. LXXXI . Wherefore be just in the payment of thy Tithes , for he that Robs the Priest , Robs God himself also . And it will in the end rather impoverish than increase thine Estate : the Rabbins have a Proverb , and 't is a true one , Pay thy Tithes and be rich : The Eagle which snatched the flesh from the Altar , to carry it to his young ones , burnt them and his Nest with a burning Coal which stuck to it , had a due Reward of his Sacriledge : above all things , meddle not with the Lands of the Church , for that will bring a curse upon those lands which I shall leave thee ; to be sure ( according to Sir Henry Spelman's observation ) the third Heir seldom or never enjoys the sacriledge of his Predecessors . LXXXII . Take heed by all means that thou break not the Peace of the Church ; for Schism is but the Handmaid of Rebellion : The better therefore to preserve that , keep thy private Opinions in matters of Religion to thy self , if they be contrary to the established discipline of the Church . It is better thou didst never wear a Shirt upon thy back , than thou shouldst quarrel at anothers decent wearing of a Surplice ; this is but tithing of Mint and Cummin , and neglecting the weighty matters of Gods Laws : 'T is a bad matter to break the Kings Peace , but 't is a worse to break the Peace of God. LXXXIII . My Son , since I by mine own industry , and God by his Providence , has provided for thee a fair Estate , forget not to be charitable to the poor , it is a goodlier sight to see the Poor standing at a rich mans Gate than the Porter : and therefore as thou takest care to feed thy Hounds without doors , and to cloath thy naked Walls within with Tapestry and Cloth of Arras , so much more would I have thee to be careful , to fill the bellies of the hungry , and clothe the backs of the naked , that they perish not with hunger and cold : for as thou takest notice of thy comings in , so God assuredly takes notice of thy layings out ; to whom thou must one day give a severe Account , for every idle Penny , that thou hast spent as well as for every idle Word that thou hast spoken . LXXXIV . I have heard a story of a Gentleman and his Son , and the passages in it are very well worth thy observation ; and that thou mayest the better remember it , I will cut it as short as the things will bear : This Gentleman had one only Son , whom he called to him and told him , that he was going out of the world , and therefore desired him to remember these three Precepts . First , To take a good proffer when it was offered . Secondly , Not to tarry at a Friends house too long . Thirdly , Not to go too far for his Wife . The young Gentleman promised him , that he would carefully observe them ; but shortly after , there came a Gentleman to his House , who saw in his Stable a very good Horse , unto whom he had a very great liking , and for which he proffered 80 l. but he refused it , and would not part with him under an 100 l. that night his Horse was taken in the Staggers and dyed ; then he remembred his Fathers first Admonition ; wherefore he calls one of his Servants and commands him to skin his Horse , and take the skin and hang up in his barn ▪ which accordingly was done . After this he rides abroad to visit a friend , who made him very welcome , but he stayed there so long ▪ that his friend was weary of him , and caused to be brought to Table nothing but brown bread , whereupon seeing nothing but white bread before , he bethought himself that he had not observed his Fathers second Precept ; wherefore coming away , he begged one of the brown Loaves , telling them , that he liked the bread so well , that his Butler should make the like for him : so they gave him a Loaf , which when he came home , he bid his Man to hang in a Rope by the Horse skin . After this he bethinks himself of taking a Wife , wished he was to a Gentlemans Daughter , which lived an hundred miles or more from him ; thither he goes , and woos the young Lady , and all things were agreed upon for the conclusion of the Match : but being upon some urgent occasion sent for home , he acquainted the old Gentleman after Supper with it , telling him , that his return should be short , and therefore craved that he might take his leave of his Mistress over night ; but the old Gentleman would by no means suffer him , but told him that he was a better Husband , and his Mistress a better Huswife than so ; and that they would be up time enough in the morning to take their leave of him ; but the young Genleman being up very betimes , and having ordered his Horses to be made ready , and bethinking himself , that it would not be handsom to ride away without taking leave of his Mistress , he went to her Chamber-door , and knock't very softly ▪ but no body answering , and finding the Key in the outside of the Door , he unlock't it , peeped in towards the Bed , where he espyed two in the Bed , and who should they be but the old Gentlemans Clerk and his Mistress asleep ? Wherefore stepping into the Chamber , he took away the young Mans Breeches , which lay upon a Trunk , and put them into his Mans Port-mantle ; which after he came home , he caused to be hung by the Horse-skin and the Loaf , and never went more to visit his Mistress . At this the old Gentleman marvelled greatly , and therefore he would ride to see what the matter was , and especially to s●e his Son-in-laws Estate . And being come to the young Gentlemans house , he was very richly entertained ; but being weary with his long and tedious Journey , the young Gentleman brought the old to his Chamber , and there left him to take his repose . The next morning the old Gentleman was up very early , and walked abroad to see what a good Husband his Son-in-law was , and saw all things very neat and handsom . As he was walking about , one of the Servants went and told his Master , that the old Gentleman was risen and walk't abroad ; he hearing it , presently arose , and met him , and then carried him into his Stable to see his Horses , from thence he conducted him into his Barn , where the old Gentleman looking up ▪ espyed the Horse-skin , the Loaf , and the pair of Breeches , of which he desired to know the meaning : Oh Sir , replied the other , those hang there to put me in mind of the three Cautions my dying Father gave me , and so he told him the same I have before mentioned . I understand well enough ; said the old Gentleman , what the ●orse-skin and Loaf means , but do not , what the Breeches signifie , Why , Sir , said he , they signifie , that I had forgot that Caution my Father gave me , Not to go too sar for a Wife . Now those Breeches are your Clerks , whom I found , when I was at your house , in Bed with your Daughter , and therefore she is a fitter Wife for him , than she is for me : and thereupon he related the whole story , which when the old Gentleman , to his great grief had heard , he discontentedly departed , with a Flea in his Ear , and the young Gentleman stayed at home with more Wit in his Pate . LXXXV . Go not , or send ( if thou hast lost any thing , or art not in health ) to Cunning-men , Sorcerers , South-sayers , Conjurers , or Witches , for the helping thee to what thou hast lost , or for the recovering of thy health ; for if thou once goest to them , thou shalt always have need of them : besides , thou makest thy self a Servant to the Devil . A Neighbour of mine , whom I shall not name , for the respect I bear him , having lost some of his Goods , went to a Cunning-man or Conjurer , for the helping him to what he had lost , who asking him whether he did believe , that he could help it to him ; for ( says he ) it is a Principle amongst us , that the firm belief of the party that addresses himself to us , that we can help him , is of as much force , for the accomplishment of his desires , as all our Schemes , Figures , Characters , and Conjurations . My Neighbour hearing this , told him that he now came to him with that firm belief : whereupon the Cunning-man ( for so he was styled and accounted to be ) asked him what Goods they were which he had lost , he told him , one of his best Horses , having thus answered , the Cunning-man withdrew himself into an inner Room ; but my Neighbour being very desirous to see what he did , or to hear what he said , went very softly to the door , where attentively listening , he heard him say to the Devil , Thy Servant in the next Room hath lost one of his best Horses , which thou must help him to again ; which as soon as my Neighbour heard , he answered , That he would not have his Goods upon such terms , but said , rather than he would be the Devils Servant , he would lose his Horse and Saddle too , and so away he came , leaving the Conjurer and the Devil at a Parley . LXXXVI . If thou walkest in the paths of Policy , thou must be careful how to be reserved , not like the Snail , leave a Trace where thou hast gone , for that may betray thee ; he that lyes at too open a Ward , may soon be hit . But thy way must be like that of an Arrow or Bullets through the Air , quick for Dispatch , and safe for Secrecy : or rather thou must be like the River Arar , which flows into Rhodanus with such an incredible softness , that it is not to be discerned which way it ebbs or flows . He that taught us to be as innocent as Doves , taught us also to be as wise as Serpents . The changes and chances of a mans life , are as Casts at Dice , good and bad ; a good one may be marred with oversight , and a bad one may be mended by good play . Fortune is like the Market , where many times , if you can stay a little , the price will fall : And again it is like Sybilla's Offer , which at first offereth the Commodity at full , then consumeth part and part , and still holdeth up the price . For Occasion turneth a bald Noddle , after she hath presented her Locks in Front , and no hold taken : or at least turneth the Handle of the Bottle , first to be received , and after the Belly which is hard to clasp . There is certainly no greater wisdom than to time , and consider the beginnings and onsets of things . Dangers are no more light , if they once seem so ; and more dangers have deceived men , than forced them . Nay it were better to meet some dangers half way , though they come nothing near , than to keep too long a Watch upon their Approaches : For if a man watch too long , it is ten to one but he will fall asleep . On the other side , to be deceived with too long shadows ( as some have been , when the Moon was low , and shone on their Enemies back ) and so to shoot off before the time ; or to teach dangers to come on , by over early buckling towards them , is another Extreme . The ripeness or unripeness of the occasion ( as we said ) must ever be well weighed ; and generally it is good to commit the beginnings of all great Actions to Argus with his hundred Eyes ; and the ends to Briareus with his hundred Hands : first to watch , and then to speed . For the Helmet of Pluto , which maketh the Politick man go invisible is , secrecy in the Counsel , and celerity in the Execution . For when things are once come to the Execution , there is no Secrecy comparable to Celerity ▪ Yet measure not Dispatch by the Time , but by the Advancement of the Business . For as in Races , it is not the large stride or high lift that makes the Speed : So in Business , the keeping close to the matter , and not taking of it too much at once , procureth dispatch : And many times , and in many things it is better to make more use of the Ballast than of the Sail : And as we say in the Schools , that it is easier to oppose than answer ; so 't is easier to prevent dangers than to tarry for them , and better to have a good Buckler to keep off the blow , than a good Plaister to heal the wound . But be sure thou dost not , like Machiavel , in all thy Politicks leave out the Grace of God , or the Principles of Honesty and Justice . In all thy Actions be wise rather than crafty , and piece the Fox skin with that of the Lamb. For as our Saviour doth advise us to be as wise as Serpents , so doth he also advise us to be as innocent as Doves . Imitate those skilful and honest Physicians , who mix all their Deleterious Prescriptions with due Correctives . Climb to Preferment rather by thy Vertues and Merits than by thy Politicks , if thou wouldst avoid the censure and fatal end of Boniface the Eighth , of whom it was said , that he entred into the Popedom like a Fox , lived like a Lyon , and dyed like a Dog. And as I would have all thine Actions and Designs mixt with Honesty and Simplicity , so I would those Counsels , which thou imparts to others , to be no way pernicious , either to the Life , Estate , or Honour of any man. Wicked Counsellors are but the Devils Agents , and they that hearken to them , and take up their ungodly Propositions , are like those Sponges that suck up Aqua Fortis , which will afterwards consume and confound them . Never make God or Religion thy Stalking-Horse , to gain those designs at which thou dost level thine eye . ( My Son ) whether thou considerest the foul ways or satal ends of such Achitophels , thou shalt find in the conclusion , that Honesty is the best Policy . LXXXVII . Beware of those that pretend to Religion and Godliness , but have it not in them , who Canonize themselves and call themselves the Saints , but will not call those , whom we know to be glorious Saints in Heaven by that style ; which though they refuse to do for Honours , yet so should they do if it were but for distinctions sake , to difference them from other men . And here I cannot but tell thee a pretty Story . A Presbyterian Parson sent his Man upon Sunday morning ( his old ones being done ) for a pair of new Shoos to his Shoomaker , whose Christian Name was Paul , but his Servant stayed till he was in the midst of his Sermon , in which just as his Man step't into the Church , his Master with a loud voice said , but what saith Paul , who replied as loud ( thinking that his Master had spoken to him about his Shoos ) Marry , Sir , he saith that you shall have no new Shoos , till you have paid for the old ones . Now had he said , but what saith Saint Paul , he had prevented so gross and ridiculous a mistake . These are the men , that seem to gape so wide after Holiness , as if they would take it all into themselves , whereby they resemble the Fishes of the Sea , which by their wide mouths seem to suck in the whole Ocean , whereas , if a man cuts them up , he shall not find so much as one drop of water within them . For if thou note their Pride , Vain-glory , and Hypocrisie , their rash Judgments and uncharitable Censures of all other men , their Covetousness , holy Cheats , and false Dealings with those with whom they commerce , their Contumacies and Rebellions against the King and his Laws , together with their Vnmercifulness and Tyranny over those over whom they have gotten the Power and Dominion , as signally appeared by their Plundring , Sequestring , Articling against their Pastors , and thrusting themselves into their Livings , and by their Decimating , Plundring , Sequestring , Shipping , Imprisoning , and Murthering their Brethern , yea and their Soveraign Himself also , and what is worse than all these , their to this very day not repenting themselves of all these Villanies , as is plainly manifest by their proneness and inclinations to relapse into the same , if they had the power so to do upon every Overture , thou shalt find them only to be Olivers Saints , and not Gods. These men make use of piety more to deceive men than to please God. They use Religion as some men do Glass-eyes , meerly to honest , the ill-favouredness of their faces , not that they may see , or be the more inlightned by them . They have learned that Principle of Machiavel , That a man seek not to attain Vertue it self , but the appearance of it only , because the credit of it is a help , but the use of it is a cumber . They speak as if their Tongues were tipt with Religion , but their Deeds are from it . They are as Lillies , fair in shew , but foul in scent . They speak so fairly , and deal so foully , that a man would not believe they were made all of a piece ; but when the wind sings and whistles in the leaves , look after for a storm . Take heed of these Devils wrapt up in a Samuels Mantle , trust them not when they speak , as though nothing but Gospel could drop from their lips , for in their hearts they mumble over the Devils Pater Noster . LXXXVIII . 'T is no impolitick matter , when thou payest off thy Bills to thy Mercer , Taylor , or any other Tradesman with whom thou dealest , not to trust the crossing of their Books , without a Receipt under their hands , so thou shalt be sure never to pay for the same things twice : And so also , when thou receivest any Letters of importance , be sure to put them upon the File , for thou knowest not of what importance they may be to thee for the time to come ; especially those that are sealed with a Coat of Arms. I knew an ancient Knight , whom Age and Experience had made a very prudent and politick Person , who when he received from any Gentleman or Person of Quality a Letter so sealed , would be very careful in the opening of it , to preserve the Seal intire ; and he gave this Reason , why he was so careful in this seemingly slight matter , because if any thing written in such Letters , might hereafter be denied , or called in Question , he might shew how the business stood , under the Hands and Seals of the Parties . But if thou receivest Letters that may import secrecy or any danger to thy Self or Friend , remember that as soon as ever thou hast read them to thy self , that thou commit them to Vulcan ; remembring that as Bellerophon came to a fatal end , by those Letters which he himself carried and delivered , so many have done the like , by those Letters they have received and kept by them : as by instances may be made appear , almost in all Histories . LXXXIX . Shun Neutrality ; Alphonsus observed , that the Senenses , Neuters in the Italian Wars , became at length a Prey to both sides , comparing them to such as dwell in the middle story of an House , annoyed by smoke from beneath , and dust from above . XC . When thou art weary of thy study , or any other employment , take some honest recreation , use Hunting or Hawking , either start the Hare , or dislodge the Buck , or unkennel the Fox , or rowse the Hart , or unpearch the Pheasant ; recreations which are honest , are as necessary for the mind , which is employed in great Affairs and cares of importance , as meat is for the body , which is exhausted with daily labour : But follow not thy sport with chafing , for it is a most improper thing to see men follow their P●…stimes with sretting and pelting , for thus , like a leaking Ship , they suffer the water to sink them which should bear them up . I mean , they let that which should be their recreation and delight , be their vexation and disquiet . There are as well generous delights as ingenious studies , and the one must lend some sweetness to the other ; divers while they have been so precise , that they thought they might not delight in any sport , at last come to be so crest-fallen , as that they take no delight in any thing : Nature made them sociable because she made them men , but they have sullenly strayed from the Drove , and abandoning all Mirth and Jollity , carry always cloudy foreheads , which is no way commendable , no not in an Horse : Doubtless God loves a chearful man , as well as a chearful Giver : and such assuredly deceive themselves , who think that they shall never look , like blessed Angels in Heaven , who look not like tormented Divels here on Earth ; or that they shall never sing there , unless after a most disconsolate and discontented manner , they whine and Pule here , and speak as small as an Hair : Religion consists not in drawling Tones , or making of Faces , for a man may perform his duty more acceptably to God , without , than with dis-figuring his countenance ; otherwise our Saviour himself would not have said be not of a sad ( or as another Translation reads the word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ) be not of a sower countenance : do thou therefore use lawful recreations , and keep up an honest merry heart . XCI . But above all Recreations I recommend unto thee these two , good Horsemanship and skill at thy Weapon ; the one highly becomes a Gentleman , and will make him serviceable to his Prince and Country , if any occasion be ; the other will teach him how to guard and defend himself : nevertheless I would not have thee suffer thy skill in that which I last mentioned , to make thee quarrelsom , or the more confident in thine own strength ; but rather use thy Rapier as a defensive than an offensive Weapon , and as a Shield rather to ward the blow than give one . XCII . Be not addicted to superstitious vanities ; some will look pale presently like death , if the Saltseller fall towards their Trenchers ; others will take it for an omen that they shall be crossed in those negotiations they go about , if a Hare chance to cross them in their way , when the cross lies only in this , that they could not catch her ; others , if they do but stumble at the Threshold , will not take their Journey that same day , but defer it to another time ; others will by no means pare their Nails on Friday , because they say it is a cross day ; many of these make Erra Pater their old Testament , and the Shepherds Kalendar their New ; and take all that they say , to be as true as Gods Oracles ; others if they but hear a Crow croke from the Roof of their Neighbours house , they presently set their house in order , saying they shall dye and not live ; and were I disposed to recount all the Roman superstitions of this kind , as their Dies fasti , & nefasti , their unfortunate and fortunate days , their inspections into the Entrails of Beasts , and their Augurations and Soothsayings , upon the flight of Birds and the noises they make : I might reckon up a thousand such like vanities as these . Others there are who put their confidence in Astrologers , and therefore when they fall sick , the Stars are their Counsellors , they take their Almanack , if they find it an evil day when their sickness began , their soul is poured out upon them , they fear that they shall not only be weakned and sore broken , but that their health passing away as a cloud , they shall go the way of all the earth , that the grave shall be their house , and making their Bed in the dark , the worms shall feel their sweetness , and therefore making their wills , they take their leave of all the world ; but if it be a good day , they doubt not , but all sickness shall be taken away from them , that health shall be unto their Navel , and marrow to their Bones , that their flesh shall be as fresh as a Childs , and return as in the days of their youth . In the year of our Lord 1524. one Bolton Prior of St. Bartholomews listening to the Prognosticators , who then generally foretold , that upon the watry Trigon , which should happen in the Month of February that year , many thousands should perish by a Deluge , caused an house to be builded upon Harrow on the Hill , whither he carried for himself and Family , provision for two months ; so great a fear of an Inundation possest him , and so great credence gave he to the Almanack Makers Predictions , yet was there not a fairer Season many years before . Others there be who are very foolishly superstitious in reference to their Dreams ; such a one was that Knight in the Reign of King Henry the First , who dreaming that one was about to strangle him with his own Hair , assoon as he was awake caused it all to be cut off , though he delighted much in it : to whom we may join those , who if they but dream forsooth of Egs or Fees , they presently conclude they shall hear of anger the next day ; or if they dream of Flowers or a Garden they shall hear of a Funeral : now the reason of this vain superstition , is grounded upon this , because they take an exact notice when they hit , but not when they miss . I am not ignorant that Artimedorus in his Oneirocriticks gives us a large account of the signification of those dreams , which possess our Brains in the night , but for mine own part I hold them to be of no signification at all , unless they come by divine immission : of which kind ( not to speak of those which we meet with in Holy Writ ) I take these two , which I shall now relate to be ; the first of which signifies , that God comprehends in himself all wisdom , and that all men in the World , are Fools : and the second that divine Justice will not suffer Murther to go undiscovered . 1. A Noble man of Rome dreamt that he was sitting in the Shop of an Apothecary , into which a great Rabble suddenly rusht , and catching up all the Glasses and Bottles that they found filled with Syrups and distilled waters , they drunk up every one of them , except only one great Bottle , out of which they sucked not up so much as one drop : after them he seemed to see a person of a very majestical and venerable aspect , who came likewise into the same Shop , and as soon as he espied that Bottle , which all the rest had refused , he set it to his mouth , and drank up every drop of that Liquor with which it was filled ; and having done so , he likewise departed , at whose Person and Action the Nobleman admiring , asked the Apothecary who that reverend man was , to whom he replied , Oh , Sir , that person you saw was God , and the Water in the great Bottle which he drank up , and which all the other Rout refused , was Wisdom . Upon which the Noble-man awaked , highly pleased with his most excellent dream . 2. The other is this , two Fellow Travellers riding together , came by night , to a certain Town , where they parted , the one to his Friends House , the other to a common Inn , he that lodged at his Friends House , dreamt that he saw his Companion that lodged at the Inn stand at his Bed-side , and desired him that he would arise and make haste to help him , or he should be murthered by his Host , but being very drowsie and weary with his Journey he arose not ; wherefore in a short time after his Companion again appeared , and requested him more earnestly to arise and succour him ; but he making no account of all this slept again ; but he left him not so , but appeared unto him the Third time , all bloody , telling him that it was now too late to implore his aid , but yet he requested him to avenge his Blood upon the Murtherer his Host ; who ( as he told him ) had killed and buried him in his Dung-Mixon , where he should find his Corps : at which the other started out of his sleep , and arose , and taking the Officers with him ▪ secured mine Host , and upon further search found the Body of his Fellow Traveller , with his Throat cut : and so by this means God disclosed the Murther , and those that had an hand in it were brought to condign punishment . My Son , if such foolish Conceits and Phansies as those which I have before mentioned , call at thy Door , use them as vagrant Passengers , with slight respect , let them not take up any lodging within thee . But though I would not have thee superstitious , yet I would have thee devout . XCIII . Wherefore forget not to begin and end with God , by thy morning and evening Devotions ; so will every thing thou settest thine hand about fadge and prosper the better , yea the quicker shall be thy dispatch ; for as the Dutch Proverb hath it , Stealing never makes a man rich , Alms never make a man poor , and Prayer never hinders a mans business . Before thou dost compose thy self to take thy rest , make up thine accounts between God and thine own soul ; and consider what the day past thou hast thought , done , or spoken amiss ; Short reckonings ( we say ) make long friends . And where thou hast found that thou hast failed in thy duty , resolve to amend the next day following : but be sure thou make good thy resolutions , that thou resemble not St. George on the Sign Post , always seeming to strike at , but never wounding the Dragon : or that of the Archer , always aiming at , but never hitting the mark : good intentions are but Buds , but God requires we should bring forth Fruit meet for Repentance . But above all close not thine eyes , without begging pardon for what is past ; remembring that sleep is too much like Death , to be trusted without a mans Prayers . XCIV . Keep thy self to the true Principles of Piety , Virtue , and Honour ; for this will bring thee to a better Inheritance than I shall leave thee : especially I would have thee well grounded and setled in Religion ; the best profession of which I have ever esteemed that of the Church of England , in which thou hast been educated , yet I would have thine own judgment and reason now seal to that sacred Bond which Education hath Written , that it may be judiciously thine own Religion which thou dost profess , and not other mens Custom or Tradition . XCV . My Son , as for Travelling it is very good , if it be used well ; Homer highly exalts the wisdom and experience of Vlisses , which he gained in his twenty years Travels ; for as he tells us Multorum mores Hominum conspexit , & Vrbes . He observed the Citys and the Manners of the People whithersoever he travelled ; and from thence drew such useful Theories , as made him a most accomplished person . Indeed he that Travels with Wit in his head as well as money in his Purse , makes the whole World his Library , and all men therein his Books : but sill not up thy Table-Book with trivial slight Observations , for that will call thy judgment and discretion in question ; as it did Tom. Coryats of Odcomb , who gives us an account where he made water when he was in Italy , what the mending of his Stockings cost him there , and how he hardly escaped the losing of his Testicles , with a thousand of as mean occurrences , as these . Let thine observations in thy Travels be weighty and material ; observe the humours and conditions of those Nations amongst whom thou shalt come ; their Customs , Ceremonies and Religion , that seeing their Idolatry , thou mayest the more firmly stick to thine own Religion , which thou dost prosess . Next take notice of their Churches and Oratories , and whatsoever is notable in them , their Government , Laws , Judicatures , and Proceedings , against Malefactors with their dealings in matters of Traffick and Commerce , their Castles , Magazines , and Discipline in War , their Ships , the commodiousness of their Havens , their Rivers , Fish , Birds , Beasts , and Mines of all sorts , their Buildings , Structures , and all those curious Arts , which seem to be peculiar to the genius of the People , and every thing that justly claims a mans wonder and admiration : for by these thou shalt the better acquaint thy self with the wonderful operation of the handy-works of God , and shalt the clearer see his infinite wisdom in his Government of this inferiour World. Finally note the Virtues of the people and imitate them ; their Vices and Vanities likewise , but to avoid and abhor them . There are many young Sparks that travel abroad , who leave the English Gentleman they carried out with them , and bring home again nothing , unless it be a formal Spaniard , a drunken Dutchman , or an airy Frenchman : nay it is well if they bring not home a Turk instead of a Christian ; instead of returning like Solomons Ships fraught with Gold , they return furnish't only with Apes and Peacocks ; my meaning is , they return learned only in the pride and vanity of those Foreigners , amongst whom they conversed with in their Travels ; instead of taking a due cognizance of those things which are of such worth and remark as might enrich their judgments and understandings . Doubtless it cannot be worth a mans cost , pains , and perils to go so far ( as some do ) only to learn a new Mode or a new Oath , a politick shrug , or a mimical cringe , or a little Gibberish pronounced with an ugly Face : If this be all , it were better for my young Gallant to be chained at home in the chimney corner , like a Monkey , than to return such an Ape . Wherefore , if thou intendest to travel , and to avoid these Rocks upon which others have dasht themselves to pieces , take along with thee a grave and wise Companion or Tutor , who by his own former Travels hath acquainted himself with the things forementioned : for Travels by Land are like Voyages by Sea , unsafe without a skilful Pilot. And furthermore take along with thee , these few advices and necessary cautions , which I shall give thee . First be grave , sober , and reserved ; Momus found great fault , that the great Creator had not made men with Windows in their Breasts , that men might have seen into their insides ; and a bold Atheist he was , that thus durst impeach the wisdom of God : but sure I am , 't is a very grand folly for any man to make as it were such a Window in his own Breast , especially when he Travels into foreign Countries ; the way to put by those mischiefs which may befall thee in thy Travels , is to lye at a close guard ; and not be like Cristal , for every one to see through thee . If thou travellest into Italy , munite thy self there from three things most especially , The Men. The Women . The Inquisition . For the Men there are very jealous and vindicative ; the Women unchast and allective , and very much affected with the English above all men ; and the Inquisition is like Hell , from whence there is no Redemption : to avoid which in all those Countries where that is set up , take heed of raising disputes concerning matters of Religion ; for this will make thee guilty of as rash a madness , and as huge an imprudence , as that of the Quaker , who resolved to go from London to Rome to confute and convert the Pope . If thou thinkest him to be Antichrist , let no man however hear thee call him so in his own Territories and Dominions : Learn more wit of that Collier , who durst not bid a Fig for my Lord Mayor , till he had got beyond Temple-Bar , which is out of the Limits of his jurisdiction . One of our Countrymen intending in his Travels to visit Rome , was highly commended for his rare parts and abilities in all manner of Learning to his Holiness ; who was then by birth an Englishman : who , upon his commendatory Letters , the more to shew honour and respect due to the merits of the Gentleman , went himself in person to shew him the Vatican ; where after many Discourses , and the turning over of many Books , he took him aside into one of the Criel Windows and conjured him to tell him ingeniously his thoughts of the Pope ; assuring him with many deep promises and protestations , that he should not be prejudiced by it in the least ; whereupon the Gentleman freely told him , that he thought the Pope to be a great Wen , growing in the Nape of the Churches neck , which some foolish people mistook to be the head of it . This was a very bold , but withall a very dangerous resolution of the Question , notwithstanding all ingagements passed for his security : since it is a Maxim amongst all of the Romish perswasion , Nullam fidem tenendam esse cum Haereticis . That no Faith is to be kept with Hereticks . My last Advice in the point concerning Travelling into other Countries shall be this ; be sure before thou visit other Nations and Kingdoms , to acquaint thy self well , with the knowledge of that in which thou hast been born and bred : for it will be a great shame , to be inquisitive into what is done abroad in other Countries , and to be wholly ignorant how things stand at home in thine own : for this were to do as the Lamiae , who carried their Eyes shut up in a Box , when they were at home , and put them into their Heads only , when they went abroad . XCVI . To conclude , be useful where thou dost live , that those who live about , by , and with thee , may both want and wish for thy presence still . Be temperate and sober at thy Meals and Compotations ; and look to thy Mouth , for there commonly most diseases enter ; and more graves are made with mens teeth than their hands , and the Knife kills more than the Sword. When thou art invited to an extraordinary etertainment , that thou mayest not be tempted to exceed the bounds of temperance , and sobriety , Carve or Discourse ; he who Carves is kind to two , he that Discourses is kind to all . Scorn no mans love , though he be of never so mean degree , that person deserves to be bitten by that Dog whom he will not stroak , when he kindly sawns upon him . Much less make any one though never so much below thy self , justly thy Enemy ; remembring that Fleas can bite as well as Lions , and that Bees can sting as well as Serpents . Pitch thy Behaviour low , thy projects high : Be humble to thy Superiours , gentle to thine Equals , affable to thine inseriours , courteous to all . Be not light to follow every mans opinion ; like a young Spaniel , that quests at every Bird that rises before him : Etiam ab errore facilè discedere , levitatis est , saith Scaliger , to discede over easily , even from an Errour , argues too much levity : yet would I not have thee perversly obstinate in thy own courses or opinions : it is the Character of a Fool to abhor instruction ; hard Wax will never take any impression , and Wisdom will never commit Burglary , to break in upon those who lock and Bolt their doors against her ; though a man cast an empty Bottle into the Ocean , yet if it be close corkt , it will still be but an empty Bottle . Amongst all those Treatises which may leave thee Wiser than they found thee , I commend to thy frequent reading the Proverbs of King Solomon , and his Ecclesiastes or the Preacher . Finally ( my Son ) serve , love , and fear God ; to whose Grace , Mercy , and Protection I leave thee : And so farewel , until we meet in another World. FINIS . Errata . Which together with some smaller literal faults the Courteous Reader is desired to excuse and with his Pen to amend . Page 5. line 17. read Patrizare for Patricare . p. 20. l. 24. r. quoque for quique p. 27. l. 16. r. not for no. l. 28. r. the Hen had untr 〈…〉 there , for he had untrust a point there . p. 28. l. 12 〈…〉 ●onabus nostris , for Nebulonibus nostris . Other Faults there may be , but they are not worth speaking of , and therefore I shall not speak much of them : But let the Reader take this for good advice , and as a general rule , never to read any Book whatsoever , until he has corrected the faults ( if they are collected in an Errata ) for so he shall prevent the committing any himself . LICENSED , October 26. 1672. R. L.