The penitent pilgrim bemoning his sinfull condition. Faith appeares vnto him affording him comfort hope seconds that comfort charity promiseth him in this vaile of missery to cover all his scarlett sins wth: [sic] ye white robe of mercy, & conduct him safly to ye kingdome of glory. By Io: Hall 1651 Approx. 350 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 217 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2009-10 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A77267 Wing B4275aA ESTC R224400 99896958 99896958 135696 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A77267) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 135696) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 2453:2) The penitent pilgrim bemoning his sinfull condition. Faith appeares vnto him affording him comfort hope seconds that comfort charity promiseth him in this vaile of missery to cover all his scarlett sins wth: [sic] ye white robe of mercy, & conduct him safly to ye kingdome of glory. By Io: Hall Brathwaite, Richard, 1588?-1673, attributed name. Hall, John, 1627-1656, attributed name. Herdson, Henry, attributed name. Le Blon, Christof, d. 1665, engraver. [46], 48, 47-142, 141-229, 240-241, 232-233, 244-414, 425-445, [1] p. printed for Will: Sheares, London : 1651. A Catholic work, variously attributed to Richard Brathwait (Wing), John Hall (1651 t.p.), and Henry Herdson (1652 t.p.). A reissue of the 1641 edition, with engraved and letterpress title pages cancelled. Cancel title page is engraved, signed "C: le Blon f:". 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Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Catholic Church -- England -- Early works to 1800. Christian life -- Early works to 1800. 2008-09 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2008-11 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2008-12 John Pas Sampled and proofread 2008-12 John Pas Text and markup reviewed and edited 2009-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE PENITENT PILGRIM . Few and evill have the dayes of my life been . Gen : Cap : 47. V. 9. LONDON Printed by John Dawson . 1641. 4 Alter quasi Phoenix Video et Vou●a D Worthy is the lambe &c. Reu : 5. 12. 3 Vt Pelecanus . The Penitent Pilgrim bemoning his sinfull Condition . C As a lambe to the slaughter &c. Jsa : 53.7 2 Halcyonis instar . Faith appeares vnto him affording him Comfort B Behold the lambe of God &c. Joh : 1. 29. 1 Tanquam Aquila . Hope Seconds that Comfort Charity Promiseth him in this vaile of Missery to cover all his Scarlett Sins w th : y e white Robe of Mercy , & Conduct him safly to y e Kingdome of Glory . A The lambe slaine from the beginning &c. Reu : 13. 8. By Io : Hall London Printed for Will : Sheares 1651 TO THAT IMMACVLATE LAMBE CHRIST JESVS ; THE SOLE SAVIOUR AND RECEIVER OF EVERY PENITENT SINNER ; HATH THIS POORE PILGRIM , HUMBLY HERE PRESENTED THESE HIS PENITENTIALL TEARES . The Summe , or Graduall Symptome of the Penitent PILGRIM . CHAP. 1. THe poore Penitent Pilgrim bemones his present sinfull condition . 2 His comming into Idumaea ; the companions hee consorted with there . 3 How his owne Meniey , became his deadliest Enemy . 4 His encounters with the world . 5 His Combat with the flesh . 6 What Assaults hee suffered by the Divell , both in company and privacy . 7. Three Engines by his spirituall Enemy reared , that his Fort might be razed . 8. The Concupiscence of the flesh . 9. The Concupiscence of the eyes . 10. The pride of life . 11. How neither the Law of Nature nor Grace , could call him home from his wandring course . 12. Hee takes a view of the whole Decalogue , and hee scarce finds in it one Commandement , wherein either in part or in all , hee has not beene a most grievous Delinquent . 13 Hee examines himselfe touching the First Commandement . 14 His breach of the Law touching the Second Commandement . 15 His transgressing of the Third in prophaning Gods name . 16 His dishonour to Gods Sabbath . 17 Hee confesseth how this bloody issue of sin , streamed forth likewise into a breach of the second Table ; and first of disobedience to his parents . 18 His contempt of the second , in his practising mischiefe against his Neighbour . 19 His contempt of the Third , in playing the Wanton . 20 His breach of the Fourth , in his cunning defeating of his Neighbour . 21 His breach of the Fifth , in suppressing testimonies to witnesse a truth ; or suborning witnesses to maintaine an untruth . 22 His dis-esteeme of the Sixt and last , in coveting what was anothers ; and desiring to increase his owne with the losse of others . 23 Hee takes a view of those seven spirituall works of mercy : and acknowledgeth his failings in each of them . 24 Teaching the ignorant . 25 Correcting the delinquent . 26 Counselling the indigent . 27 Comforting the afflicted . 28 Suffering injuries patiently . 29 Forgiving offences heartily . 30 Praying for his Persecutors fervently . 31 Hee takes the like view of those seven corporall works of mercy , and acknowledgeth likewise his failings in each of them . 32 Feeding the hungry . 33 Giving drinke to the thirsty . 34 Harbouring the harbourlesse . 35 Cloathing the naked . 36 Visiting the sick . 37 Visiting & redeeming the captive . 38 Burying the dead . 39 With sorrow of heart he remembers those eight Beatitudes , whereof hee hath deprived himselfe , by giving entertainment to sin . 40 Blessed are the poore in spirit , for theirs is the kingdom of heaven . 41 Blessed are the meeke , for they shall possesse the Earth . 42 Blessed are they that mourne , for they shall be comforted . 43 Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousnesse , for they shall be satisfied . 44 Blessed are the mercifull , for they shall obtaine mercy . 45 Blessed are the cleane in heart , for they shall see God. 46 Blessed are the Peace-makers , for they shall be called the children of God. 47 Blessed are they that suffer persecution for righteousnesse sake , for theirs is the kingdome of heaven . 48 How seven Guests , under a colour of lodging with him , sought his undoing . 49 Pride . 50 Covetousnesse . 51 Lechery : 52 Envy . 53 Gluttony . 54 Wrath. 55 Sloath. 56 How by their treacherous assault , his Cinque ports become endangered . 57 Sight . 58 Hearing . 59 Smell . 60 Taste . 61 Touch. 62 Being thus encompassed with danger , hee prepares himselfe for prayer . 63 He repeats the Lords prayer , and in every particular he finds himselfe a great Offender . 64 Hee renders a private accompt of his Faith : and in every Article of the Creed , he finds a fainting , failing , weaknesse and want . 65 Having thus examined himselfe , and found in the whole course of his life , a fainting in faith , and failing in works : He recals to mind those Quatuor Novissima , or Foure last Remembrances ; Memorials hourely necessary for all Christians . 66 Death . 67 * Iudgement . 68 Hell. 69 Heaven . 70 With the Remembrance of these ; He becomes afflicted in spirit . 71 Faith appeares vnto him with a cheerefull presence , affording him comfort in his affliction . 72 Hope seconds that comfort . 73 * Charity promiseth him in this vaile of misery , to cover all his scarlet sinnes with the white robe of mercy : and by keeping her company , conduct him safely to the kingdome of glory . 74 He takes comfort ; And now wearied with sojourning longer in Idumaea , he turnes to Canaan . 75 The poore penitent Pilgrims last Will and Testament . His Funerall Obsequies . The Pilgrims Prayer . I Ooke upon me , ( deare Father thy poore Penitent Pilgrim . I confesse , Lord , I confesse , that if thou shouldst deale with mee according to my iniquity , there were no hope at all left to me of mercy . For what houre in all my life , since my first entrance into this life , wherein I have not in some manner or measure , nay above all measure , become a grievous transgressour ? But there is mercy with thee , and therefore art thou feared , mean time I of all others , have greatest cause to feare for abusing thy mercy . I have plentuously tasted of thy love ; and considering it , I have many times resolved to become a faithfull convert and zealous observer of thy Law. But these faire promises closed in a weake performance ; No sooner was there the least opportunity offered me of sinning , then it found in me an easie impression . Pregnant was J in conceiving , prompt in consenting , and prone in committing . Yet Lord when I was going down even to the gates of hell , lest I should enter in , thou held me . And when I drew neere the gates of death , lest they should receive me , thy grace prevented me . Whence I perceived , by the influence of thy sweet Spirit , whereby I became enlightned , that whensoever I fell , it was through my owne frailty ; but whēsoever I rose , it was through thy great mercy . Yea , I found thee ready in every opportunity , to afford me thy helping hand in my greatest necessity . When I wandred , thou recalled me : when I was ignorant , thou instructed me : when I sinned , thou corrected mee : when I sorrowed , thou comforted me : when I fell , thou raised me : when I stood , thou supported mee : when I went , thou directed me : when I slept , thou kept me : when I cried , thou heard me . Nay , shall I more fully declare thy goodnesse towards me ? If , after these few but evill dayes of my pilgrimage ; even now , when the keepers of the house tremble , and the strongmen bow themselves , and the grinders cease because they are few , and they waxe darke that looke out by the windowes ; if I say , after these many , too many mis-spent dayes , I abuse thy gracious patience no more with fruitlesse delaies , but with my whole heart repent me for offending thee , thou forthwith sparest me : if I returne , thou receivest me : nay , if I deferre my returne ; so my delay make me not presume , thou waitest for me . Thus doth thy mercy reclaime me straying , invite me withstanding , expect me foreslowing , embrace me returning . Thus hast thou taught me when I was ignorant , comforted me when I was desolate , raised mee from ruine , restored me after my falling , bestowed on mee begging , found by me seeking , and opened to me knocking . And shall I bee forgetfull of these ? Nay , Lord , let my right hand sooner forget her cunning , nay , may I rather become razed out of the Booke of the living , then I become forgetfull of thy gracious dealing . I will returne then unto thee with a sorrowfull heart , but with wings of hope , because from thee commeth my helpe . I know , Lord , Because of unrighteous dealing , and wrongs , and riches gotten by deceit , the Kingdom is translated from one people to another . Deare Lord , great sins require deepe sighes , as I have beene infinite in sinning , may I be incessant in sorrowing ; that sowing in teares , I may reape with joy in the day of my translation . THE PENITENT PILGRIM . CHAP. 1. The poore penitent Pilgrim bemones his present sinfull condition . O Draw neer mel doe not turne your eyes from mee , but looke upon mee ; the poorest penitent Pilgrim , that ever sojourned in Idumaea . O woe is mee , that my Habitation is prolonged ! O woe is me , that I have dwelt so long with the Inhabitants of Kedar ! Hence it is , that mine house is become full of blacknesse ; no Guest but Sorrow lodgeth in it : because the woful'st , sinfull'st wretch that ever breathed , is the owner of it . O woe is mee , where shall I turne me ? If to Heaven ; my sinnes become as bars , to shut me from it . Nay , I have highly provoked his wrath , who is commander of it . If to Earth ; I find my selfe wholly unworthy that it should beare me , having already so long born with me , by bearing with that iniquity , which it hath so long time received from me . If to Hell ; O there I find the just portion of my inheritance ; a place fitting to punish my wickednesse . I find Tophet prepared of old , and for old Transgressors . Such as have made an old League with the Old-man . Such as have no acquaintance with the New-man . And such an one am I , of all others the most miserable man ; who have made my selfe an Alien to Sion , because so wholly naturalized to sinne . Worthily then may all the Elements fight against mee : Nay , all Gods Creatures professe themselves Enemies to mee , because I have imagined mischiefe in my heart , against Him who made both them and me . Retire then sinfull soule , poor comfortlesse soule , and recollect thy selfe a little . Leave the Company of men , and hye thee to the waters of Marah . Leave the world , and fly into the Wildernesse . Let thy dwelling bee with the Pellican and the Ostrich ; with the mournefull Turtle , or the Sparrow on the house-top . Let thy Musicke bee as the Chattring of the Crane . As thine eye was the sense of sinne , so let it bee the sense of sorrowing . Never had poore Pilgrim more cause . O my Redeemer , make me sensible of my present state . CHAP. 2. His comming into Idumaea ; The companions hee consorted with there . YOung , and so very young I was when I first came into Idumaae ; as my tender age required a Guardian to manage my youth . And divers good and gracious Consorts there were , whom at the first I received into my acquaintance : And with these I lived for a little time familiarly : and bettered my selfe much by their company : But alas for griefe , I continued not long with them ; Other Companions drew me from them . Those good and vertuous ones betooke themselves , as I thought , to a course of life too strict for my loose affection to follow . I felt the Spirit of youth ryoting within mee . Those devout tasks , which before I observed ; begun now to bee intermitted . I held a sober regular life too eremiticall : private retired walkes too stoicall . I thought with myselfe , how I had staied too long in the Tyring-house , I must now shew my selfe upon the Stage ; where I played the Prodigals part to life : for I bestowed my whole life upon the action of that part : when I saw a Thiefe , I followed him : and with the Adulterer I divided my portion . I bestowed the day in variety of follies : and a great part of the Night in a delightfull remembrance of those follies . Let us prepare our selves ( said one ) for the spoile : and I had an hand as ready to further it , as hee to demand it . Let us drinke wine in bowles , and carouse till our eyes be red ; let the day care for it selfe , while the day of our life admits no care . Let us take our full of pleasure , ( said the wanton ) let our delight be in dalliance : and I followed the steps of the whorish woman ; though her wayes led to death . And I delighted my selfe in the company of the Drunkard : yet had I read ( and the more my sinne not to reteine ) To whom was woe ; to whom sorrow to whom strife ; to whom murmuring ; to whom wounds without cause ; and to whom rednesse of the eyes . Even to them that tarry long at the wine , to them that goe and seeke mixt wine . And I had heard too ; nay my experience of others miseries , had inform'd me too , How , because of the whorish woman a man is brought to a morsell of bread , and ( how ) a woman will hunt for the precious life of a man. And yet I considered not these things , nor applied them to my heart : but , like the foole to the Stocks , I laughed while I perished ; I sported in my misery , and knew nothing how Ismael played with me . O my Redeemer , looke upon me in mercy , and give me a sensible apprehension of my misery . CHAP. 3. How his owne Menicy became his deadliest Enemy . TOo true have I found that Proverbe ; Who can have a worser friend then he brings with him ? Foes I had without , Feares within : but my bosome friends I found ever to bee my busiest foes . And what lesse could I expect , then that my bosome friends should prove my deadliest Foes , being receivers and Abetters of my bosome sins ? O what disorderly passions raged , nay raigned in me ? what divided thoughts of hope and feare were ever encountring me ? In my prosperity , feare of adversity wrought upon me : in my adversity , hope of prosperity seazed on mee . Neither did either of these conditions well content me : for , as thoughts of the one made mee proud ; so a conceit of the other made me impatient . Now , what hourely affronts did I suffer by my owne , while I stood thus pursued by them ? I found nothing on earth worthy my desire : yet were my crawling desires so fast glued to earth , as if they had no other Heaven to aspire to . Naturall Philosophy had sufficiently taught mee in my minority , that betwixt finite and infinite there was no proportion : that my Soule was of too large a circumference , to be confin●d to any earthly dimension . Againe , that the tri-angular heart , resembling the Image of the blessed Trinity ; could no more by the circumference of the world bee confined , then a tri-angle by a Circle was to be filled . In this , my Speculation had inform'd me , but the use and application of it was farre from me . Neither was it possible , that a Sconse should be secur'd from foes without , that harbour'd so many dangerous Traytors within . For my mis-guided affections ( like scattred troops falne off from their Captaine ) committed all insolencies . Nothing found they in me , which was not exposed to their fury . Thus did my Familiars , and knowne Acquaintance worke upon my weaknesse ; take mee with their subtilties ; and lead me captive to all miseries . Yet for all this was I silent , pleasing my selfe with the impunity of a delinquent . So I might sinne safely , and flatter my selfe with a seeming security : and promise to my selfe a long life foolishly , because in it the most uncertainty ; I could hugge my betrayer : And herein so farre was I from vindicating my wrong ; as I accounted him my best friend , who had shewn himselfe privately my maliciou'st Foe . So farre was I ( I say ) from revenging my selfe of him , as I fought to ingratiate my selfe with him . For the injuries I suffer'd , I was either insensible of them , or I dissembled them . I neither reproved him , nor shewed a displeasing count'nance towards him ; though for many yeares together , Hee and his Complices had lived familiarly with me , sit at my table , received meat from my hand , slept in my bosome , conversed with me when hee pleased , and disposed of me as he liked . Thus became my Meniey my deadliest Enemy . O my Redeemer , I suffer violence , answer for me . CHAP. 4. His Encounters with the World. I Am now to tell you how I enter'd Lists ; and how weak a Combatant I proved amidst those encounters wherewith I grappled . The Field where I pitched was the World. A place full of Snares , and such as suited all Estates . I could not see that place , wherein I could enjoy true peace . That which in reason should have beene my contempt , became my content . Those May-buds of prosperity , honour and humane glory were scattered here and there to take mee ; and no sooner were they seene by me , then they tooke me . That retired Cell , wherein I both enjoyed my selfe , and the contemplation of Him that made me , had now for a season beene estranged from mee . I found such Objects in the World , as I condemned my selfe for staying so long out of it . If I desired to bee rich , I found meanes how to purchase my ends : which , were they never so sinister , the custome was so generall , as it authoriz'd the errour . Were it Honour that I sought after , I found a way quickly to enjoy her , though the purchase made mee an unhappy gainer . Friends I could not want , so long as I wanted no meanes : For meanes procur'd mee powerfull Friends : but all these , by an unexpected overture , clozed with unfortunate ends . For all these , because I did not employ them to that end whereto they were ordained ; but put more trust in them , then in him from whom they were derived ; turn'd to my undoing , which well bestowed , had beene my raising . No fight , no victory ; no Conquest , no Crowne . Indeed , in the very first assault , I remember'd my Creator ; and to promote his honour , I made a faire shew , as if I would have entertained the encounter : but my resolution became weakned , and discovered my temper . O Eternity , eternity ; how I forgot thee , and now forgoe thee for one poore glympse of vanity ! Had I remembred what those glorious Martyrs suffered ; how they combated ; how they conquered . Had I but presented to my thoughts , what encounters those noble Virgins endured ; how they sleighted price , prayer and threats : and with their winning modesty , and resolved piety , quenched all unlawful heats . Had I recalled to mind , with what Constancy , those famous Confessors professed the Faith , even in the face of tyrannie : and in despite of torments confirm'd their fidelity : O then , poore Pilgrim , thou wouldst have holden all these encounters with the World light : and , in the discomfiture of them , shewne thy selfe a Christian : whereas now in thy defeat thou hast acquitted thy selfe like a weake , Champion . O thou Lion of the Tribe of Iuda fight for me ; weake am I , unlesse thou defend me : strong am I , if thou shield me . CHAP. 5. His Combate with the Flesh . PRoud Philistine , how thou insultest over me ! Is there no end of thy malice ? no bound to thy fury ? Wilt thou still Domineere over thy Mistresse : and be a Commander of thy Soveraignesse ? Remember how thou wert made to be a Servant and no Mistresse : a Subject and no Princesse . Imperious Agar , doe me not this dishonour . I have a noble Guest which thou hast long time wronged : one who was full of beauty , before thou blemished it : of a gracefull presence , before thou disfigur'd it . O tell me , thou unthankfull one , how comes it , that thou shouldst thus dishonour her by whom thou livest ; disparage her by whom thou breathest ? Pray thee , vile and stinking Carrion , hast thou life from thy selfe , or from an other ? If from an other , why doest thou not tender her that honour that may become her , and make thee worthy of her ? O whither wouldst thou hale mee , thou hatefull intruder ! what have I received from thee but misery : and shall I now incline unto thee , who have bin so oft-times deceived by thy folly ? Withhold those sinfull embraces from me : they have already undone mee , let them not intangle me in more misery . O that I were stript of thee ; or that I had loathed those delights which thou suggested to me ! O why did I so tenderly cocker thee , thou balefull Cockatrice ! And why did I not crush the Serpent in the Egge ! why did I not shun the occasion of sinning , and so prevent the meanes of my undoing ! O what had I from thee but Sin ! And what other fruit brought Sin forth but death ! whence camest thou O my Flesh , O my Darling Foe : & from whence was thy beginning ? From Clay , vile Clay was thy Creation : from whence I received every clammy and earthy affection . Thou drew my thoughts from Heaven to Earth ; that I might be more like thy selfe , who tookest thy materiall Creation from earth . O my Soule , pretious Soule , ( if thy knewest the estimate of thy price ) thou , I say , who art with Gods Image adorned , with his Similitude beautified , by Faith to him espoused , with his Spirit endowed , with his bloud redeemed , with his Angells numbred , made capable of happinesse , inheritour of goodnesse , partaker of reason , commaunder of passion , what hast thou to doe with this Flesh , from whom thou sufferest so many evills ? By meanes of the Flesh , are strange sinnes imputed to thee ; sins of her own hatching ; sinnes which thy purer condition should have so highly hated , as nothing could relish thee lesse then to be so accoutred . By her , that loose Libertine , thy fleshly Idumaean , are thy works of righteousnesse accompted as a menstruous Cloath ; by her , art thou brought to nothing ; esteemed as a vaine thing , and in manner nothing : For , tell me , O tell me , poore deluded Soule , what other thing is this Flesh , whose society thou seemest so highly to tender , but meere foame made Flesh and cloathed with fraile honour ? But shouldest thou consider , O my Soule , what will become of her ; how , after Death , her honour shall lye in the dust : how shee shall be stinking Carrion full of misery and corruption , meate for wormes . Againe , how neatly so ever shee seeme now tricked , trimmed and tyred , shee is no more but Flesh : and that Flesh , and the beauty thereof as the flower of the field . Againe , wouldest thou but consider her present condition , as thou hast already heard of her Originall corruption : and read an Atomy Lecture on her beauty , to allay the heat of thy fancy . Wouldst thou , I say , but consider with a cleare and dis-interessed eye , what goeth out by the mouth , nosthrills , and other passages of the body , thou wouldest soone confesse that thou never lookst upon a more stinking Dunghill . Againe , shouldest thou but reckon up all her miseries ; how shee is loaden with sinnes , surprized with passions , polluted with illusions , prone alwayes to all manner of evill , and addicted to al vice , thou wouldest find thereby meanes of this staine of sinne , full of all confusion and shame . For , by company of this flesh , became man like unto vanity , because from it , and none but it drew man that staine of concupiscence , by which he became attached , attainted , so wholly crooked and corrupted , as he set his love on nothing but vanity , practised nothing but workes of iniquity . O leave to love her then , whose love is thy losse ; estrange thee from her wayes : for her pathes lead unto death . And now give mee leave to talke a little with thee , O my Flesh ! And first resolve mee , if ever I came into any place , wherein I could promise to my selfe peace . In this populous Citie , I cannot take my walke in any street , wherein I am not subject to bee taken by thy deceit . Thou sendest forth those two light Spies , to purvey and bring in Objects of lust ; by these am I wounded , by these doe I suffer a continual Combat . Neither are these wounds cured , now when my youth has left mee ; when these daily Messengers of death summon me . For , though I bee neerer my Grave , I am nothing richer in Grace . Though those follies of my youth have now left me , ( and woe is mee that I did not leave them before they left me ) yet other aged maladies grow strong in me ; against which I must prepare my selfe for the encounter , or I am undone for ever . Would you heare what my distempers are ? They are these : Though few bee my houres ; hoary my haires : yet am I as numerous in my worldly cares , as if I were but even now entring into the world . I cannot without an envious eye see my Neighbours field flourish ; others prosperity gives me occasion of repining : others adversity grounds of rejoycing . Honour I would have , yet can I hardly support my selfe , much lesse that Honor which is conferred on me Alas , poore mouldred earth ! Now , when I carry about me , such constant Companions of my mortality ! when Aches , Cramps , and Coughes are my ages livery ! Now , when Death waits at the Wicket , and bids me come away , and leave the world , seeing it is weary of me : and fit me for my shrowding sheet , being all that is left me ; yet have I a moneths mind to be greater , or richer , or more eminent in the eye of the World , as if I could dispense with age , or make a truce with death . Thus am I encountred with new temptations : Night and day am I beleagred : nor can I find any rest ; so fierce and furious is this Combatant my Flesh . O how justly then may I complaine of this my houshold enemy ! And how may I escape her subtilty ! It is her Delicacy that has undone me : for by pamphering her , have I famished my selfe : I tooke pitty of her weaknesse , and I cherish'd her : and behold now I am abused by her ! Shee has wounded mee with her eye ; no , with both her eyes has shee surpriz'd mee . For with her right eye she shew'd me prosperity , and by inclining to her , caused me to commit idolatry . And with her left eye shee darted adversity at mee , and so made me murmure against him that made me . O how I feele my selfe now failing and falling to earth ; yet how are my thoughts so glued to earth , as if they had no other place to thinke on ! O my God from the depth of thy mercy , looke upon the depth of my misery ! thou knowest my necessity , let me not become a prey to mine enemy . Sweet Iesu , thou hast taught my fingers to fight , give mee the mastery in this combat with my flesh . CHAP. 6. What assaults he suffer'd by the Divell , both in company , and privacy . O Thou envious one , was it not sufficient for thee to lose thy selfe by thy Pride : but like a cruell cunning Nimrod , haunt day and night after innocent blood . Thou art for ever lost , and thou wouldst have my poore soule in the same state . And to bring thy purpose about , thou hast practised with people of my owne family , to betray my Fort unto the Enemy . Thou hast winnowed me : and as thou found mee affected , thou wrought upon me . Thou had baites in store for every soule , to take him napping in his Darling sinne . If thou foundst him labor of that birth wherein thou perished , thou couldst suggest to him thoughts of his owne abilities ; bring him to a disdaine of others . Tell him , the State did not take sufficient notice of his worth . Advise him to hold an higher opinion of himselfe : and by contemning others , to raise his owne estimate . But whereto ayme all these trains ? to undoe him ; for , being fed with these conceits , he begins to aspire to places of honour : wherein being crossed of his hopes , he fals into discontent , which clozeth the unhappy Scene of his life in misery and contempt . Or deprived of what hee once enjoyed , and to an unexpected thraldome confined , with the heavy memory of his former felicity , and present misery , hee either lives desperately encountred with those affrighting thoughts of danger , or takes his leave at once both of life and honour . Againe , if thou foundst him Covetous , thou hadst Achans wedge , and Gehaza's treasure in readinesse for him : Hee shall have his desires and a Leprosie to boot . If riotous , the Rich-mans table could not bee better furnished , his delicious and liquorish appetite must bee satisfied : nothing wanting that may tend to surfetting , but with those Rioters before the Flood , hee little knowes how neare hee is perishing . If lascivious , his flesh must want no provocation , to bring this deluded Minion to destruction . Fancies by night , and more visible Objects by day , are sent forth to seaze on his heart , and make him forgetfull of God. If Passionate , hee shall find motives enough to inrage him ; nothing hee sees can content him . Fury is in his eyes , and revenge in his heart . Many waters cannot quench this heat : for hee aymes at nothing but death . If Envious , others successe finds him matter enough to worke on . It is hard to say , whether his own gaine or others losse please him better . Those walkes in faire flourishing fields which are made to recreate others , are justly made to macerate himselfe . For to see his Neighbours ground prosper , begets in him a distemper . If sloathfull , the Summer-beames , though they shine never so gloriously upon him , must not rouze him : there is an Adder in the way : yet a little , and then a little , makes him forget his poverty . If Heaven may be got by security , he may be secure of eternity . But the purchase of Heaven is no such easie taske . Thus thou profest Enemy of man-kind , assaultst him : and , according to every occasion , preparest thy temptation . And of all others , I poore Pilgrim , became in these most miserable . For well knew thy subtilty my weaknesse and infirmity . Whence it was , that finding me no less ready to assent , then thou to assault , thou madest my owne Family thy Garrison to keepe that precious Fort which thou hadst wonne from me . Thus by my not resisting temptation but yeelding to it , rather vanquish'd my selfe , then was vanquish'd by it . O my deare Iesu , be thou neare me , that I may redeeme the time which is left me . Bruise thou the head of this Serpent , that he may have the foile , I the victory , thou the glory . CHAP. 7. Three Engines by his spirituall Enemy reared , that his Fort might be razed . THis enemy , as his owne nature has made him cruell : so the long exercise of his malice has made him subtile . Engines therefore he prepares to skale the wals : and batter downe those strong Holds , which stand against him . Where he finds the least breach , hee applies his instruments . Delay hee cannot endure : nor will hee admit of any parley , where he finds the least weaknesse in the besieged party . It is not his use to hang out any White Banner , or to give a yeelding Foe any quarter . Now call thy selfe to mind poore Pilgrim , and examine thy selfe , what thou hast done in this fearefull encounter ! How didst thou furnish thy selfe within , to repell the Enemies fury without ? Didst thou fly to that Sanctuary of a troubled soule , by offering up the sweet incense of humble devotion to the Tower of thy strength , the Horne of thy salvation ? Didst thou imitate that devout Bethulian , in sending forth the voyce of thy prayer , that Christian sacrifice of supplication ? Didst thou prepare thy selfe against the assault ? Were 't thou carefull of thy spirituall provision ? Didst thou fast and pray , that thou mightst not enter into temptation ? Were those Allyes thou hadst within thee , true unto thee ? Did not those on whom thou relyed , betray thee ? yes ; deare Lord , I must confesse it : I was betrayed by my owne , to my shame . But alas , had these stood for me , all this had little availed me ; for I was such an Enemy to my selfe , as I would have betrayed my selfe , had I neither suffered the assaults of heavy Friends within me , nor open Foes without me . O how soundly slept I , while my ghostly Enemy stood at the gate ready to enter in upon me ? Watchfull was he in seeking to surprize me ; but carelesse was I in labouring to prevent his subtilty . O how well knew hee how to get ground upon me ! How subtilly lay hee his snares to catch mee ? Hee became came familiar , by his too long acquaintance with me , and presented to mee whatsoever hee thought would soonest take me . If at any time by the motion of Gods Spirit , I entertained any good resolution ; if I purposed to amend my life ; and to strengthen these holy motions , prepared my selfe for devotion ; to the end that He , who had begun this good worke in me , might likewise perfect it in me . When , I say , I had shut the doore of my heart from worldly cares : and had now begun to offer the sacrifice of my weake devotions to the Throne of Grace , that I might redeeme the lives I had lost , and returne with honour to my Grave . Woe is me ! even amidst these holy resolves , came that subtile Serpent , and reared three strong Engines against the Fort of my soule . Strong were they , and cunningly contrived : so as , though they were raised for my undoing ; they seemed to me wondrous pleasing : so foolishly gave I way to my destruction . O my sweet Redeemer , looke downe upon me with the eye of thy mercy ! let not my Enemy prevaile against me , though he pitch his Tents , and cast his Banks about me ; God will be good unto Israel ; even to me , the poorest wandring sheepe that ever was received into the Fold of Israel . CHAP. 8. The Concupiscence of the flesh . THis was the very first Engine which my spirituall Enemy reared against me . And this , I must confesse , made a breach quickly through the windowes of my Fort. O how willingly did I desire to perish ? Though I saw mine enemies joyning their powers together utterly to lay me waste ; their presence was delightfull to me . I invited them to sojourne with me . Neither did this Concupiscence want wooing termes to winne me , who was wonne already ; nor to plead to me what interest shee had in mee : seeing shee was conceived and borne with me ; and from the very first time I came into the world , consorted with me . I am , saith shee , thy Play-fellow . The houres of thy Pilgrimage would seem long without me . Therefore am I given thee , to allay those miseries which attend thee . Doe not then so estrange thy selfe from mee , nor refuse her familiarity who can so fully delight thee . Looke upon mee , and see if there bee nothing in me , that may please thee ! nay , looke every where about thee , and see if ought could content thee , if I were absent from thee ! As thou art the Fleshes Guest , so am I the Fleshes Darling . Shee , with whom thou dwellest , under whose roofe thou sojournest ; would hold this World a Wildernesse : and every Creature in it , as a Pelican of the Desart , were not I to cheere her while she lives in it . Doe not then leave mee , seeing thou canst not live without me . I have variety of pleasures to refresh thee , lest the enjoyment of one should cloy thee . I have fresh fragrant Gardens for thee to walke in ; faire goodly Buildings for thee to plant in ; pleasant sights to delight thine eye ; sweet ayres to please thine eare ; odoriferous soots to cheer thy smell ; dainty cates to feed thy taste ; choice embraces to content thy touch . Wouldst thou have Honour ? I have Favourites will seaze thee of her . Wouldst thou have wealth ? I can bestow on thee abundance of treasure . Wouldst thou bestow the remainder of thy time in delights ? Enjoy me , and with mee all worldly pleasure . Come then , and set thy selfe wholly on me , while thou art in the world : seeing without me thy life were misery ; the World a Cell rest of all Company . Thus with prophane prayers , and treacherous teares did this Concupiscence of the flesh work upon me : and I inclined mine eare to her folly : so as this Engine made the first Entry . O in mercy looke downe upon me , O my sweet Saviour ! for that precious flesh of thine , which was nayled on the Crosse , give mee grace to crucifie my flesh . O let not sinne raigne in my mortall body : but give me power to subdue it for my soules health and thy glory . CHAP. 9. The Concupiscence of the eyes . O Whither doe you haile me , yee false spies ! what wrong have I done you , that you should thus abuse me ? yee lay your trains for me in every place ; wheresoever I walke , I can find no peace . For can there be any peace to the wicked ? So long as I give eare to your inchantments ; So long as I suffer my eyes to bee led by you , what comfort may I reap , or what peace may I expect ? Dinah followed you , and she was ravished : and behold while I suffer my selfe to be led by such blind guides , what else can I looke for , but to bee deprived of mine honour ? O yee straying eyes , how soone were you casting forth your fiery darts to surprize those who inclin'd to you ? Paradise could not be secured from you : nor those two sole inhabitants free themselves from being wounded by you . Eve saw the fruit , and it was pleasant . Bitter pleasure to bereave them & their posterity of such an inheritance for ever ! And what doe I , poor Pilgrim , but deprive my selfe of all happinesse , by giving way to your concupiscence ? I have lived in many places , and conversed with men of all conditions : and I found in persons of every quality , a naturall pronenesse unto vanity : but examining whence the grounds of those vanities came , I found them proceeding from you ; from you , those in-lets to all dis-obedience . For were not you the cause ; those who are now proud , contemning others , and magnifying themselves above the condition of earth , from whence they came , would learne humility . Those , who are now covetous , thinking that the earth has not enough to fill their mouthes , would be contented . Those who now give way to wrath , would put on the spirit of meekenesse , and learne to bee patient . Those , who are now eaten up with envy , by wishing to others as to themselves , would be charitably disposed . Those , who now riot out their time in the dainties and delicacies of earth , would bee more temperate . Those , who now impaune their honour to the Harlot , would be more continēt . Those , who now spin out their time in security , would bee better employed . Oh sigh and groane poore unhappy Pilgrim , take thy selfe now into the ballance ; weigh and examine thy selfe . Let not one houre passe over thee without a sigh ; not a minute without a sob . Take away the force of this Engine , this fearefull Basiliske , with incessant Rivers of teares : Thou hast yet a little time left thee ; bestow not one moment of it , but to Gods glory . See how every minute thou art nearer unto death ; how those Messengers of the Grave tell thee thou canst not live long . There is not the least graine of sand which passeth through this Crevit of thine houre-Glasse , but may assure thee that thou art hasting on to the Sepulcher of thy Fathers . Canst thou then find any time to game , play and sport thy selfe in Idumaea : seeing , there is no way secure from snares ; no place that may promise peace ? Where , if there bee any pleasures , they are full of vanity : or , exceeding to an higher measure of ill , they are nursed by iniquity . Take them at the best , they are mutable , because subject to frailty ; but take them at the worst , they are miserable , because they deprive us of glory . O benigne Iesu , my sweet Redeemer , quench these desires of my flesh , and refresh me with the delights of thy spirit . Let not the lust of the eyes have any power over me : but exercise thou me in thy Law. O my deare one ; bee not farre from me , for if thou leave mee , what shall become of me ? CHAP. 10. The pride of life . POore pride ! what hast thou in thee that may please thee ? what good thing that may praise thee ? Can the Leopard pride himselfe in his spots : or the Swan in her black feet ? What hast thou , which thou hast not received : and if received , to whom is the glory to bee rendred ? Thou hast nothing of thy selfe but sinne , and sinne begets shame . What shame is it then to magnifie thy selfe in sinne ? Shall thine Horse or thy Speare save thee ? or shall the strength of an Hoast deliver thee ? Looke upon that vile matter , whereof thou wert made ! Poore dust and ashes was thy moulding ; and to dust and ashes must be thy returning . Is this cover of flesh , such a dainty thing to glory in ? Must not the beauty thereof turne to rottennesse and corruption : and the glory thereof sleepe in the dust ? Must not that faire front be pilled , and her beauty pillaged ? Must not those sparkling lights , which , sometimes made others prisoners : or which made thy selfe a prisoner by their wantonnesse , become Lodges , forlorne Lodges for wormes ? Must not that face , now so phantastically in-laid with Love-spots , become an horror to the beholder ? Must not every part or parcell of that goodly piece , that faire building , fall into ruine , irreparable ruine ? Nothing then , poore Pilgrim , canst thou find without thee , wherein thou maist justly pride thee . Looke inward then ; and see if thou canst find any thing there that may procure thee favour in the presence of the Almighty , by approving thee a fitting Instrument of his glory . Ah me poore sinfull wretch ! what mountaines of heavy-pressing sinnes doe I feele , ever ready to sinke down this surcharged vessell of my soule ! I begun no sooner to live , then to love sinne . No sooner to breath , then breath forth the infection of sinne . The world receiv'd me no sooner for a dweller , then she admitted me for a sinner . Sometimes , indeed , when so much grace was given mee , I communed with mine own heart : and begun to examine my selfe what I had done , what works of mercy hast thou performed ? what actions of perfect obedience hast thou expressed ? Bring forth that poor man , whom for Christs sake thou hast cloathed . That hungry-starv'd soule , whom for his precious sake thou hast relieved . Were 't thou so poore as thou couldst not doe it ? Hadst thou not so much as one single mite , nor one cuppe of cold water to bestow on Christs members ! Blush ; O blush thou wretched Pilgrim ! Thou hadst change and choice of cloathes , and these in thy Wardroabe must lye rotting ; or to Moaths become feeding . Thou hadst oyle and meale in thy Pitcher ; yea , thy store-houses surfeted of plenty : and thy wine-presses groaned in their fulnesse : yet must the hungry soule perish , rather then be relieved ; The thirsty die , ere hee bee refreshed ; The naked be utterly starved , ere hee be cloathed . Look then and take a full view of thine inward man ; and see if there be any thing in him , that may justifie thee by him ! Sift and search him ; the more thou shalt discover him : the more thou shalt be ashamed of him . Whence then thy pride ? whence thy vaine-glory ? Resolve thy selfe to teares ; fall prostrate before the Throne of grace . If thou have a desire to be like thy Saviour ; love humility , it is the best badge of Christian honour . In whomsoever dwelleth the pride of life ; that soule cannot dwell in Christs love . These are severall lodgings , and are reserved for severall persons . O my Redeemer , give me a perfect knowledge of my present condition ; that by it I may learne true humiliation . Let not the hand of the sinner move me , nor the foot of pride draw neare mee . Hee knowes not himselfe , that can bee proud : Oh keepe me from being proud , that I may know my selfe . CHAP. 11. How neither the Law of Nature nor of Grace could call him home from his wandring course . THe wild Asse which runneth here and there , and snuffeth the wind in the wildernesse ; was a tame and serviceable Creature , in comparison of me , a Runnagate to my Fathers house , and a most rebellious sinner . Wee account that Subject , who owes allegeance to his Prince , not fitting to live , if hee at any time practise against him : and worthily doe wee so account him . Woe is me ! what have I then deserved ? Many yeares are now gone and past , since I left my Fathers house ; since I divided my portion with Harlots ; since I rebelled against my Prince ; that Prince of Princes . Meanes had hee made ; and sundry Messengers had hee sent to recall me . Hee opened unto me the Law of Nature ; and there hee shewed before my face , and unto my shame : what Iustice and Temperance , what Moderation and Continence ; what excellent morall vertues appeared even in those who were Heathens , and knew no God. These onely pertak't some weake glimpses of a naturall light : They knew not what Eternity meant : nor where that Heavenly City was to bee found : yet hated these to wrong one another : or to doe to another what they would not have done by an other to themselves . These loved goodnesse without hope of reward . Their ambitiō was only to be remembred after death : or by their commendable lives leave to others examples how to live . Yet were all their vertues but splendid vices ; nay , meerly sin ; because whatsoever is not of faith , is sin . From these then , taking me by the hand , he brought me to the Law of Grace : Where he shewed me what wondrous things he had done for mee . How , though I was bound , infinitely bound unto his Majesty . Even by the Law of Nature , for my creation : in distinguishing me from all others ; nay , in setting me above all others : & in giving me a command over all others : yet had it bin nothing to have created me , had he not likewise redeemed me : lost I was , and eternally lost : & he spared not his own to make me one of his own . Nor had althis sufficed me : ( for everwas I failing and falling : ) had he notlikewise sent his Holy Spirit to preserve me from a finall falling . And now what heart so hard , whom these many benefits would not soften ? And yet I ( the more miserable I ) carelesse of my owne state , or what may hereafter befall my poore sinfull soule , have not beene as yet either allured with his mercies , or awaked with his judgements . I had a Law in my Members that foolishly sent forth her Prohibition to stay proceedings in all other Courts . I applied my eare to the Cimball and to the Timbrell : I tooke my fulnesse of pleasure in sinne . No sense could take delight in any Object , wherein I strove not to satisfie her appetite . Thus did I transgresse the Law of Nature , and by that meanes made my selfe worse then an Heathen . Thus did I reject the motions of Grace , and so dishonour'd the style of a Christian . O my good Shepherd , call this thy lost sheep now back from wandring . Bring him to thy Sheepfold , where hee may find plenteous refreshing . Write thy Law in his heart . Let it be as a Frontlet unto his eyes ; As a chaine to his neck ; As a bracelet to his arme : Let him looke into it , and as in a Glasse , correct himselfe by it . O teach me thy Law , that my soule may take delight in it , and live . CHAP. 12. He takes a view of the whole Decalogue , and hee scarce finds in it one Commandement , wherein either in part or in all , he has not beene a most grievous sinner . VVHo would not think it strange , that any one should forget what the very sight of himselfe might make him remember ? I can neither looke upon mine hands nor feet , but their number and account might cause me to call to mind that sacred number which was delivered to Moses in the Mount. But admit I should lay this Holy Decalogue aside in mine owne house , my private family : yet when at any time I come into Gods house , my very care cannot chuse but bring it to my memory . The view whereof is heavy to mee . For what one Commandement in all that Decalogue , which in part or in all proves mee not an high delinquent ? A grievous Sinner , and what is worse , a slow Repenter ! O when that Booke shall be opened ; and my sinfull life compared to what is in it ! when this marke of distinction shall be set over my head : Behold the man and his workes ! O how full of shame and confusion shall I stand before that just Iudge of the ten Tribes ! when that Lord of Lords , that great God of Hosts , who is powerfull in revenge , when he sees the malice of men to abound ; when hee shall shout in the clouds ; when hee shall come openly ; when his fury shall break silence ; when round about him a fire shall burne , and in his presence a strong tempest shall assaile us ; when hee shall call the Heaven from above , and the earth to judge his people ; when ( lo ) before so many thousands of people , all my iniquities shall bee laid naked ; when before so many legions of Angels all my offences shall be opened , not only of my workes , but even of my thoughts and words : when before so many Iudges , I , poore delinquent , shall stand , as have gone before mee in good workes ; when I shall bee put to shame by such as rebuke me , and by so many , as have given me examples of living godly ; When before many witnesses shall my conscience be convinced , as with their profitable instructions have admonished me , or by their just actions have left themselves for examples to be imitated by me . O in what case shall I then stand ? what shall I be able to answer in my owne defence ? to whom shall I fly ? to what Court may I appeale ? It shall bee then in vaine for mee , to call for the Mountaines to cover me ; no place of priviledge from the Almighty . O what will become of mee , when all my offences shall be laid before me : nay , even those which I doe not now remember , shall bee presented to me ! For by a certaine divine power it shall come to passe , that every ones workes good or evill shall bee brought backe to our remembrance , and by the sight of the mind shall be seen with a wonderfull quicknesse : to the end , that knowledge may accuse or excuse conscience : that so all and every one may at once be judged . O my soule shake and tremble ! consider thy condition : with that heavy inditement that shall bring thee to confusion ! For whatsoever thou art now ashamed to confesse , shall be then made manifest unto all . Yea , whatsoever in a dissembling manner thou seekest here to cover , shall then by that avenging flame of Gods justice be brought to a fearefull censure . And by how much the longer God expecteth thy amendment , if thou neglect time , so much stricter shall bee his judgement , severer thy punishment . O , but wilt thou say , who can keepe the Commandements ? This is an hard taske for flesh and blood . But I must tell thee , if thou have charity , it will make thy burden light , and thy yoake easie . If thou doe thy endeavour , and with a pure affection begge assistance of thy sweet Saviour . when all outward helps faile thee , hee will be neare thee . Hee who bore his Crosse for thy sinnes , will nayle all thy sinnes upon his Crosse . Hee who bad thee , Doe this and live , will doe this for thee that thou maist live . Hee who commanded thee that these things should bee done , will doe for thee whatsoever hee hath commanded to be done . But this , poore Pilgrim , thou knewst long since . His goodnesse could bee no strange thing unto thee : seeing his natural propriety unto goodnesse ; his universall power and Omnipotence ; and his specioll experience have not onely made him knowne to thy infirmities : but mov'd him to compassionate thy infirmities . Both willing and able is he to heare thee ; in the bitternesse of thy soule to cheere thee ; in the bed of thy sicknesse to cure thee . And wilt thou yet complaine , and say , This yoake is hard ; this burden is heavy ; when he , who trode the Vine-presse alone , will make thy burden light , thy yoake easie . O my sweet Saviour make mee to take delight in thy Commandements . Ps . 119.54 . That thy Statutes may be my songs in the house of my Pilgrimage . Give mee the feet of a Roe , that I may run after thee . O draw me after thee , and I will follow thee . Set before mee , what thou hast done for me : so shal the memory of thy Crosse , make my burden light , and my yoake easie . CHAP. 13. Hee examines himselfe touching the first Commandement . THough thou hast not heard the voyce of the Lord with Moses : yet hast thou heard the Will of the Lord from the hand of Moses . Thou hast heard how he was a jealous God ; he would have none to pertake in his honour : nor share with him in what was onely due to him . He ha's told thee how he was thy Lord , thy God : and that thou shouldest have no other Gods but Him. Now lye thine hand on thine heart , and tell mee , Hast thou performed this ? yes , wilt thou say , I was never so Heathenish as to worship any Gods of the Gentiles . It was his house I went unto : His Name I did honour to . I joyned in the Supplication of Saints ; I went after no strange Gods : It was the Lord of Hoasts whom I served : The Lord of the whole Earth whom I honoured : yet , tell me , were there no other Lords on Earth whom thou served ? yea , didst thou not make the very Earth , thy Lord , in preferring it before Heaven , and the hopes of a better life ? Whatsoever is by us , most loved ; that for a God is by us worshipped . Now , resolve mee , unhappy Pilgrim , wherein can more love bee showne then in weakning and enfeebling our spirits with pursuit of what we love ? Now , compare thy houres which thou hast bestowed on the service of Mammon ; with those thou hast more happily employed in the Courts of Sion ! Hast thou not bestowed ten houres on Earth , for one on Heaven ? Nay , hast thou not depended more upon those Egyptian reedes , these Helps on Earth , then those Hopes of Heaven ? Though thou wentst to the Lords house : and with a seeming humility cast thy selfe down before him . Though thy Prayers were mingled with teares : and thy weake devotions with lifting up of Eyes , and beating of thy Brest , with other seeming signes of humilation : yet was not thine heart there wholly offered , where it seemed to be present . For long before hadst thou built a little Bethel in thine heart : where thou offered thy daily sacrifice . And here didst thou erect a Shrine of Gold for thy God. Earth was thy Deity : thus in the Chamber of thine Heart didst thou commit Idolatry . For hadst thou taken him whom thou professedst to serve for thy God , thou wouldst not have distrusted his providence , but with an holy and heavenly affiance relied on his promises . Nay , hadst thou taken him for thy God , thou wouldest have served him as he commanded thee : and with all thine heart loved him , as he well deserved from thee . Thou wouldest not have suffer'd his Members to have starv'd while thou surfeted : nor his Family of faith to have mourned while thou rioted . Thou wouldest have had the staffe of bread in readinesse to support them , counsell in store to advise them : all fitting supplies in the time of their necessity , to relieve them . Meane time , thine heart was more hard then the neather Milstone ; with a deafe eare couldst thou heare their grones : with a pittilesse Eye behold their teares . Nay , so farre were 't thou from taking him for thy God , as thou fled to other Gods : chusing rather to lose God by abusing his goodnesse , then to lose any of thy substance . The Wizard and the Southsayer must be visited by thee : the Witch of Endor must not lose her honour . Tell me , is this to put thy trust in God ? Is this to have no other Gods before him ? Is this the way to espouse thy selfe unto him ? Is this in a true and religious way of obedience to serve him ? No ; No ; thou canst not serve two Masters : God and Belial . Thou must put off the Old man , before thou put on the New. Thou must leave those Groves and High-places , and in the lowest valley of an humble and contrite heart , come before God , and with the penitent Prodigall , throw thy selfe downe before him . — with — I am not worthy to be called thy Sonne : closing thy Supplication with this humble Petition : — Lord , be mercifull to me a Sinner . A Sinner ! aye mee , a most grievous and hainous Sinner ! One , who in the fatnesse of his heart has turned himselfe from God. One , who in the foolishnesse of his heart has said , There is no God. For hadst thou reteined in thee one thought of God , thou wouldest have trembled to have done that which thou hast done against the Majesty of God. Nay , whereas he has told thee , that there is but one God , and him shalt thou serve ; Thou hast made to thy selfe many Gods : one to fullfill thy pleasure ; another to advance thee to honour ; another for filthy lucre . Oh how can I remember this without heavinesse of heart ! To leave him , who gave me beeing : To leave him , who is my portion ; without whom I have no beeing . O my good God do not leave mee ! for what am I without thee : or what can I do unlesse thou helpe mee ? All the Gods of the Gentiles are Divels . It is thou Lord onely that hast made Heaven & Earth . Thou onely , O Lord , art my God. Those Gods who have not made Heaven and Earth , let them perish from Heaven and Earth : let Heaven & Earth praise that God who hath made Heaven and Earth . CHAP. 14. His breach of the Law touching the second Commandement . BRing forth thy golden Calfe , thy treasures of Horeb ; thy Dagon , thy Moloc . Tell me , hast thou not reared these Idols in thine heart ? These were but made of Gold and Silver : & these are the Metalls which thou doest honour ? Where the treasure is , there is the heart . Oh , upon how unworthy a Subject hast thou bestowed it ? Oh , that thou hadst razed those moulten Images , those graven Idols ( too long ingraven in thine heart ) which thou so unhappily adored ! Oh that thou had seene into the vanity of this painted Earth ! What a folly it was for an unthankfull people to set them up a God in the Image of a Calfe that eateth hay ? And art thou any Wiser in thy generation ? Of corruptible things , hast thou made thy Gods ; and on those who could not helpe themselves , hast thou relyed . What daily sacrifices hast thou offered to those moulten Images ? These kept thee awaking , when thou shouldst sleepe . These made thee fearefull to Dye : These made thy thoughts strangers to thy true God. Oh how bitter is death unto him that putteth his trust in his riches ! O hatefull Idolatry , to be so unhappily wealthy , as to make a reasonable Soule to do worship unto vanity ! Gehazi became a foule Leper , by making himselfe such an Idolater . O my loose thoughts whither do yee hale mee ? nay , to what fearefull conclusions have yee already brought mee ! Reason told mee , besides that weake beamling of grace that darted upon mee , that there was nothing in these but vexation of spirit . How , the love of the Creature took mee off from loving my Creator . How , bowing to these so hardned my heart , as it could finde no knees to bow to heaven . O depart from mee , yee workers of iniquity ! yee drawers of mee to Idolatry ! In you have I found nothing but vanity . Vaine in your promises : but lighter in your performances . Yee and none but yee brought mee to forget God , from whom commeth all good : and to fight under his Banner , who was a profest enemy to the Crosse of my Saviour . But alas ! where shall I turne mee ? where may I fly for succour in this time of danger ? I have fled from him who had comfort in store for mee : and polluted my Soule with spirituall Idolatry . It is best for mee to leave my selfe , and to leane on him who gave himselfe for mee . My Soule is of too precious a price to be left to such a keeper ; as will betray her to her enemy for a moments pleasure . O my sweet Saviour receive thou mee into thy bosom . Decline my affection wholly from adoring these Moulten Images of worldly vanity . Let me imprint thee my crucified Iesu in my heart : so shall I ascribe all honour to him whom I love best , my blessed Redeemer . CHAP. 15. His transgressing of the Third , in prophaning Gods name . VIle Worme ! filthy dung ! Sinfull dust ! darest thou prophane his name , at whose voice the Mountaines shall quake & tremble ; at the breath of whose nostrills the high hills shall be melted ; the mountaines shall be laid levell with the valleyes ; the whole foundation of the Earth shall shake and be removed ? And yet , unhappy Pilgrim , thou feared'st none of these things . Thou went'st on in Dishonouring his Name : nay in minting new Oaths , as if the reprobate had not already found out enow to dishonour his Maker ! And these thou held'st a great grace to thy discourse : For the imaginations of thy deceitfull heart were so set on mischiefe ; as thou heldst Deepe Oaths the breaths or accents of a brave spirit : the strength or sinnews of any discourse . This made thee consort and keepe company with the Dames of the time ( for with this title are they highly pleased ) to suck from them this profane venom : this spawne of the most odious senselesse . Sinne that ever the Divell suggested . Senselesse indeed ! For there is no one Sin which either one way or another affords not some vaine delight unto the Sense : whereas this Sinne is so senselesse of any such Object , as it onely affrights the Conscience . Affright ! yea , and worthily may it affright . Seeing , Gods judgements shall never depart from the Swearers House . Stand amazed , poor miserable Pilgrim , while thou hearest this ! Put thy selfe in the Ballance : and tell mee , whether during all these dayes of thine unhappy pilgrimage , thou hast not practised this Sin ? Sometimes in deceiving thy Brother with subtile Contracts : binding the value of thy commodities with an Oath , to enforce him to beleeve what thy Conscience told thee was not true . Sometimes in thy good resolves ; calling God to witnesse that thou hast fixed thy resolves on this , and if God please , thou meanest to effect it ; and thou wer 't perswaded that it would please God that it should be effected : meane time thou either weakly failed in what thou intended , or else never meant to performe what thou so ceremoniously vowed . Againe , how earnestly hast thou sworne , and herein taken his blessed name highly in vaine , that thou wouldst not sleepe till thou hadst revenged thy selfe of thine Enemy ? And far more constant wer't thou in pursuit of this ill , then in performing ought that was good . How deepely hast thou vowed , to procure thy pleasure : which enjoyed , how carelesly were thy vowes regarded ? with what coldnesse rendred ? Thou hast read how such prophane Transgressors as these , should be taken away from the presence of God , never to see his face . And yet for all this , wouldst not thou lose the glory ( inglorious glory ) of one Oath for the forfeit of such a prize . Not one part or Member of thy glorious Maker , thy sweet Saviour , but must bee piece meale rent , torn & divided to have thine hatefull humour satisfied . That precious Head that was with thornes crown'd must bee affresh pierced ; That precious Side which was with a Speare pierced , must be againe wounded ; Those broad-spreading Armes so cruelly racked ; Those pure Hands so pittifully nailed , must be anew opened ; Those humble Feet which were so unmercifully bored , must be againe pounced . Every wound must be revived ; all his sorrowes renewed . O unworthy Wretch , what hope canst thou have , that he will look on thee in mercy , who hast so cruelly renued his wounds , and increased his torments with thy prophane Oaths and hatefull Blasphemy ? How maist thou thinke to hide thy selfe in those Wounds which thou hast thus aggravated with thine impiety ? Was it not sufficient for thee once to have pierced his Head , his Side , his Hands and his Feet , & with thy crimson sinns to have ingaged his precious Soule to death , but thou must be every houre crucifying him with new Oaths , hatefull curses , sinfull imprecations ? O what maist thou thinke will become of thee ? What hope , what helpe in the depths ? He cannot choose but turne that Head from thee which thou hast so dishonoured ; that sweet and lovely Face from thee which thou hast so buffeted ; that precious Side from thee which thou hast so wounded ; those immaculate Hands from thee which thou hast so nailed ; those beautifull Feet from thee which thou hast so bored . And now , whither wilt thou fly ; seeing there is no refuge for thee , neither in the Mountaines nor in the Valleyes ? Nay the Depths shall not cover thee from the Sight of his Majesty . Thou mightst , indeed , have found a Resting place in the holes of the Rock ▪ but they are shut from thee by reason of thine impenitency . O wilt thou in this case , this fearfull case and condition , suffer thine head to take any rest ? O wilt thou abuse those sweet Motions of Grace , and become worse and worse the nearer thou art to thy Grave ? Wo is mee for thee , for I must suffer with thee : and receive the wages of sin for inuring my mouth to Oaths , and inthralling thee my poor Soule , to the reward of shame ! O my mouth , how apt hast thou beene to learne an Oath ; before thou hadst well learn'd to speake ! Often hadst thou in thy Mouth to dishonour him : seldom in thine Heart to meditate of him . O how unseemly will his praise sound in thy polluted Lipps ? how dry and unacceptable thy devotions from so corrupt an heart ? O my good God look not upon mee as I have beene ; but as I resolve hereafter by thy grace to bee . Clense thou mine Heart and my Mouth : that with the one I may beleeve unto righteousnesse : with the other I may confesse my Sinns , with the good things which thou hast done for mee , unto Salvation . Let onely yea , yea , and nay , nay , be in my communication : whatsoever else is of Sin , unlesse it bee before a Magistrate to witnesse a truth . O my Maker keepe thou my Tongue , for it is a slippery member : So direct it , that it may utter nothing but to thine honour . CHAP. 16. His dishonour to the Lords Day . MAy not God bee serv'd with his owne ? May not he who appointed Sixe dayes for the use and service of man , reserve one for the more peculiar service and worship of himselfe ? It is not much that he hath required of thee , and what service ha's hee received from thee ? In the very beginning , after God had created man , bestow'd upon him his owne Image ; and put him in possession of a World of delights in one Garden ; one Edon ; He gave Adam a command , a strict command , and upon a great forfeiture . Yet became Man soone disobedient : no long time in the Garden , till a convicted Delinquent . Now behold ! as of all those Trees Adam was but of one restrained : So of all the dayes in the Weeke , there is but one which God hath for himselfe reserved : yet neither that , nor this must be observed . Thou needest no Arguments to perswade thee that the Sabbath is morall ; being so far from making it Evangelicall , as thou didst make it thy day to satisfie thy lusts . At best , thou thoughtst thy self well imployed that day , if thou bestow'd it upon sight of a Wake , a Morrice dance , or the sociable frequent of an Ale-house . Yet had it beene better for thee to have digg'd , then have danced ; to have plow'd , then so to have unhallow'd this holy Day the Sabbath . How carefull wouldst thou be of observing a profane meeting : where God was never remembred but in Oaths ! Such merry Meetings might not be forgotten : the end whereof was to forget God and his Iudgments : and if it were possible , to put farre from them the evill day . But as the fumes of drinke begot forgetfulnesse in the Evening : so the sense of sinne begot bitternesse in the Morning . O my God! one Day , and but one Day ; and must thy commands be neglected that one Day ? Was there no day for thee , thou profane Pilgrim , to commit sin with greedinesse ; to follow thy loose lusts with eagernesse ; nor to slave thy selfe to all filthinesse , but that very day , that peculiar day which God had ordained for his owne honour : and wherein his Sanctuarie should be made the house of Prayer ? Was this the way to make thy handyworke to prosper , or give a blessing to thy Labour ? If at any time , thy occasions , not of necessity but pleasure sollicited thee ; thou held'st it no scruple of conscience to dispence with the Sabbath ; thou wouldst crave leave of God , nay thou wouldst take leave against the expresse will and warrant of God. Neither must occasion of profit nor pleasure suffer least neglect for Gods honour . But admit , either through want of employment or feare of Presentment thou repaire to the Temple . How didst thou behave thy selfe there ? Did not thy irreverence and neglect of his Worship bring thee to that passe , that thou went'st forth with an heart more unsanctified then thou cam'st in ? Was not thine heart wandring in the World , while thy body was at Church ? Did not the houre seeme long unto thee , whilest thou wer 't thus undevoutly busied in this thy enforced Practise of Piety ? Yes , yes , unthankfull Pilgrim ; thou knowest this too well . No houre could be more tedious then so imployed ; how then could that stony Soile of thine Heart bee fructified ? how could thy seered Conscience be edified ? Better had it been for thee , not at all to come to it ; then by this thy repairing to it , thus to prophane it . O God of Sabbath ! O God of rest ! who hast ordained thy Sabbath the type of our rest : Make mee to know that it is thy Day , which I am to observe ; and thy House whereto I repaire . Thou hast sanctified thy Sabbath ; Sanctify me likewise for thy Sabbath . Thy house is an house of Prayer ; in my Lipps let there be praise : in mine Heart , Prayers : and make thou pure the viol , that it may more acceptably poure forth those odours of her Prayers . CHAP. 17. Hee confesseth how this bloody-issue of sinne streamed forth likewise into a breach of the Second Table ; and first of disobedience to his Parents . PRomises of long life , prosperity and successe in the World , are and have been ever perswasive Orators to the eare of a Worldling . Long life is a comfortable thing to a Worlding ; because hee , who setts his rest upon the World , expects small comfort after this present World. Had there been no further hope of future happinesse , this very promise of long dayes might have brought thee to Obedience . But alas , this was the lowest of my thoughts , the least of my cares . I desired in mine Heart to be the Master of an estate before Nature would allow me it . I took my portion , and went away into a farre Countrey . And there I plaid the riotter , till I became a miserable Begger . Then , and never till then did I consider what I had done . For by this time had I forgot my Fathers House : So long and so sweetly had I been ●ulled in the Lappe of Sin. But having now reap'd the fruites of my Disobedience , I begun to have a remorse of Conscience : and to have some small sensible feeling of repentance . But never till such time as I had fed freely of those empty huskes of vanity : and found my selfe so miserably poor as if I return'd not back to my Fathers House , I might of necessity perish , there were no remedy . Nay , I must to my shame confesse it , that such was my disobedience , and so crooked my will amidst my greatest necessities , that this my aversion from evill and conversion to good , rather proceeded from want of meanes then sincerity of will. For had my Portion continued , the arme of Sin had been nothing shortned . And yet had my want brought mee to this naturall consideration ; as to thinke with my selfe what Parents were ; What benefits I had received from them : how they had done for mee what I could never possibly do for them . How Creatures endued onely with sense by a naturall instinct , bore that tender love and obedience to their Parents ; as in their age they foster'd them : on their wings they carried them : desiring rather that they themselves should perish , then their Parents suffer , which gave a being unto them . But these Considerations onely floated upon the Waters of mine heart , they never sunck . A naturall pronenesse to obey the Lusts of my Flesh , hung such heavy poizes on the Wings of my Obedience , as they kept me from mounting : desiring rather to dye then wholly to leave my rebellion . Thus was I never weary of transgressing , till my transgressions became weary of mee . Neither was I sensible of what disobedience meant : till I was brought to a Consideration of it through want . Wo is mee ! How could I promise to my selfe length of dayes , when I had disseised my selfe of that promise by my disobedient wayes ? How could I be lesse then rejected of my Father in Heaven ; who had borne my selfe so disobediently to my Father on Earth ? How could I look for an inheritance , falling so desperately into all disobedience ? O my deare Lord , to whom Obedience is better then Sacrifice ; call mee now home unto thee ! Let me no longer run on in my rebellious Course . Like a Childe that feareth to be beate , let mee tremble at thy judgments . Like a Child that flyeth into his Fathers lappe , let mee kisse thee for thy mercies . Correct mee , O Lord , but not in thine anger , for how shall I stand in thy displeasure ? O I know , as there is no Sonne , whom a Father will not correct with the rod of his love : so is there no Father who has not a desire to deliver his Sonne . Correct me , O Lord , as thou art my Saviour : oh let it never be in thine heavy displeasure . CHAP. 18. His contempt of the Second , in his practising mischiefe against his Neighbour . ONe may commit murder , and shed no blood . The very thoughts of our hearts may become Conspirators against our Neighbour , and so wee murder him in our desires . Caine slew his brother Abel , which made him turne Runnagate , by flying from Gods presence . O how often have I staine my brother in conceiving cruell thoughts , which reflected upon his life , fame and substance ? O how often have I in mine heart wished a sudden end unto mine Enemy ! And yet I was perswaded , hee was not well prepared for death when I wished this unto him ; so as my desires were bent to murder him both in soule and body , by wishing him so sudden and unprepared a death in his departure from the body . Yea , I will confesse against my selfe , and with much bitternesse of heart , will I acknowledge it ; that neither rich nor poore have beene freed from those murdering imaginations , which my corrupt heart had secretly nursed . For if he were rich , I murdered him with Envy . And in this act , not only him , but my selfe . Wasting and eating up my owne marrow : consuming my owne strength , and falling away with a languishing desire of others ruine . Againe , were he poore ; I to my power murdered him : by holding from him the staffe of bread , when I might have relieved him : by grating and grinding the face of the needy : by oppressing him injuriously : by laying heavier burdens on him then hee could beare . O how can I remember these , and sinke not downe with the horror of them ? Can I think , that just God who heares the Orphans cry , and bottles up the Widowes teares , will not avenge himselfe of these things ? Can hee tender his little ones , & not revenge himselfe of those who make a prey and spoile of his little ones ? O no , my Lord , I know my guiltinesse is not hid from thee : Nay , I know well thou hast thy Bow ready bent , and thine Arrowes in thy Quiver to shoot at the malicious and evill doer , even at him that is of a subtile and deceitfull heart . How then may I make my peace with thee ? How may I find favour in thy sight ? what shall I bee able to answer for my selfe against those my many Accusers ? While here one proves how I sought his life : and with many bitter imprecations discovered my malice unto him . Another accuseth me with impeaching his good name , that precious perfume of every good man. The third of his Substance , saying that my wishes were often that he might be rest of it , or it of him : or that I my selfe might enjoy it with the losse of him . Thus like a cruell and bloody Nimrod , have I hunted for blood : And though I did not actually shed it , yet in desiring it , and not seeking where I might to prevent it , I cannot plead lesse then that I am guilty of it . Now my fact is so foule , that should I with the poore condemned Prisoner , demand my Booke , I could not hope to have the benefit of it ; yet there is a Booke , wherein I have read what may afford mee much comfort by it : At what time soever a sinner doth repent him of his sinne from the bottome of his heart , I will put away all his wickednesse out of my remembrance , saith the Lord. It is the Lord that hath said it , even he , who as hee is gracious in his promise , so is hee faithfull in his performance . Hence is my trust ; that though my sinnes be as red as scarlet ; the blood of the Lambe will make them white . Though my garments bee all red as those who came from Bosro : my Saviour has in store a white roabe for me . As white as the snow of Salmon shall my soule be made , though she be now soil'd with the leprosie of sin . Yea , but dangerous wounds require longer cures . My afflicted conscience tels mee that I have grievously sinned against his sacred Majesty , both in quantity and quality . I have not had God before mine eyes : the pathes of righteousnesse were estranged from me . Those sinnes which with such greedinesse I had committed , had sent forth their cry to the clouds : they were of no inferior nature , but suchas derogated highly from the honour of my Maker . What may I then expect , but that those Viols of his wrath should be poured forth even to the bottome : if hee did not looke upon me with his eye of fatherly compassion ? It is true , my deare Lord , it is true ; No sinner ever exceeded me in number and nature : yet comming to thee with an humble contrite heart , receive me , loving Father , for one of thine . Though my sinnes might justly make a partition wall betwixt my soule and thee my sweet Spouse , for ever ; yet hast thou promised to be a Saviour to every penitent sinner . O Lord looke upon me in thy mercy , for my soule is sore vexed within me ! CHAP. 19. His Contempt of the Third , in playing the Wanton . IS it time to feast , and play the Wanton , when the Flood is comming ? Every houre ushers me to my Grave , yet am I still farre off from receiving the motions of Grace . Woe is me , that my Dalilah has rob'd mee of my strength ! What a long time of youth did I lead ; as if that Spring would ne're have done ? How strongly , nay how strangely have I beene taken with a whorish behaviour ; as if there had beene no well-beseeming beauty but what was accompanied by impudence ? How often have I taken delight in the count●nance of a strange woman ? How desirous have I beene to take ; how ready to bee taken ? That Belcone could not open , nor in her opening discover the feature of a woman , which my wanton eye did not fixe on . Forbidden fruit and stolne waters were ever sweetest . Lightnesse had got such possession of mee , as were it in action or discourse , there was nothing which took mine eare more , or made the houre lesse tedious . I had read how that the Adulterer and Whore-monger God would judge . How , that the pleasure of fornication was short , but the punishment of the Fornicator eternall . And sometimes I had the grace to consider with my selfe what thing this Eternity was ? And the more I begun to consider it , the further I was from it : yet I found it to bee such a thing as admitted no end : and yet I unfortunately made a forfeiture of it for a moments pleasure . Pleasure shall I call it ? no ; that cannot be properly called a pleasure but a torture , which dams the soule for ever . I found the deceitfulnesse of this sinne : with what resolves I made hourely , to become a true and unfeined Penitent , never to returne to my vomit . I consider'd how a continent soule was the precioust treasure ; how God would not dwell in that heart that was infected with this sinne . All this I applyed to my heart ; but alas , how long did it remaine uncorrupt ? No sooner was there an occasion of temptation offered , then my vaine heart quite forgot what shee had resolved . The thought of Eternity was presently choaked with an hapleste desire of enjoying what was lighter then vanity . Woe is me that any reasonable soule should bee so deluded ! That neither the promises of a better life , nor the shame of this present life could decline mee from working such iniquity ! I found how all bread was sweet unto the Adulterer . How none was more estranged from his love , then whom hee was bound most to love . Thus I perished with open eyes : for I knew well how the Harlot would bring a man even to a morsell of bread . How her paths were full of deceipt ; and how her foot-stepps led unto death . And I understood how there was nothing to be compared to a vertuous Woman , and what felicity I enjoyed in such a Choice . With what pious Obsequies I solemniz'd her Funeralls ; whom I once enjoyed : with what purposes I entertained to remaine a constant Widdower , after such time as I was deprived of her . Yet , though ripenesse of yeares had nipped in mee the blossoms of of youth : nay , though age had writ deepe furrows in my brow , yet found I youth enough in my doating fancy . For I am ashamed to thinke with what an unbeseeming lightnesse I encountered a strange face . How soone I could gather by the wandring motion of her eye , the disposition of her heart . Thus in my declining age begun I to renue my acquaintance with light love : and to practise that which did least become me . So dangerous is the custome of sinne , when it has taken full seazure , or possession of the soule . O my sweet Iesu , clense me from my secret sinnes ; and give mee grace to remember these things with heavinesse of heart : Let me goe all the day mourning : and with teares of hearty contrition , move thy tender heart to compassion . O cure this bloody issue of my sinne ! apply unto my bleeding wounds a present cure : As thou lookt upon Magdalen , and made her an holy Saint of an hainous sinner : so looke upon mee with the eye of pitty , that I may find thee in the day of my visitation . a gracious Saviour . CHAP. 20. His breach of the Fourth , in his cunning defeating of his Neighbour . MY conscience hath oft-times told me , and woe is mee that I remembred it not ; how there were many other kinds of Theft , besides purloyning , or imbezling of my Neighbours goods . In defeating him of what was due unto him : nay , in finding what I knew to bee his , and not restoring it unto him ; this , even this convinc'd my conscience of guilt , and that I was a Robber of him . These seeme but light sinnes ; and of such easie digestion , as they seeme no sinnes at all . But these must not be forgotten , for they are writ in his Booke with a pen of steele , and are not to be wiped away but with the soft Spunge of his mercy . I have often thought , out of the foolishnesse of mine heart , that privily to take away , or defeat any one of small toyes or trifles , as I accounted them , was no sinne , because they were of small or no weight : whereas if I had knowne the quality of sinne aright , I would have confest that it was not the value of the thing , but the intention of the heart that made the sinne . It skils not much , whether the substance be vile or precious , which is unjustly procured , or injuriously required , so as the affection bee to either of these equally corrupted . Though they be of different dammage in respect of him from whom they are taken , yet bring they equall detriment to him , by whom they were taken . O with what sighes , with what teares did that devout Father bewayle his breaking into an Orchard , though hee was then a Boy , and therefore pardonable ? These are now so easily dispenc'd with , as they are held but tricks of youth . But hee could cry forth , in the anguish of his spirit , I have had a desire to perish , O Lord , I have had a desire to perish . O how the sense of sinne makes the least seeming sinne appeare heavy ? O what may I thinke of my selfe , who have gloried in these things ! A graine of sand though it bee light , yet much sand laid together will presse us . And a drop of water though it be light , yet many waters gathered together may drowne us . O what heapes of sinnes ( and those no small sands ) have I raised , with those Giants , as if they had beene Mounts to menace heaven ? So I might cunningly make a prey of the poore ; and colour my sinne with faire pretences . I had mine end , farther I sought not . It was the eyes of men that I feared , I tooke no compassion of others misery ; neither were mine eyes on him , who is the Avenger of the poore and needy . I perceived likewise in these Tents of Kedar , where I was too long a Sojourner ; how there were other thefts and of an higher nature , being such as stept up boldly to the Altar ? And these were Symoniacall Contracts : and I understood how no thefts were like these holy thefts for gaine , nor yet detected of lesse guilt . Conscience was made a thing of equivocation . Rich Donations , according to their name , seem'd to be given , but they were sold ; and that so cunningly , as if the Conscience had beene as senselesse of sin , as Man was of himselfe , it might have past with impunity . And in the perusall of these , mee thought I could have brookt well to have beene sharer : but in these I was no actuall offender , though much against my will , for I was no impropriator . In impairing likewise , the fruits and offerings of the Church , I had a desire to have an hand , albeit I knew this to be taxed for a great offence by the Prophet , and such as God did highly hate . Will any man ( saith he ) rob God ? yet ye have robbed me : but yee say , wherein have wee robbed thee ? In tithes and offerings . Whence hee straitly chargeth them to bring all manner of tithes unto his store-house , that there may bee meat in his house . By this I understood , that there was a Snare to the Man , who devoured that which was holy . Yet while the Snare was in readinesse , I went on in my wickednesse . When I saw a Thiefe , I run with him ; nay , before hee practised that trade , I could tell him ; that , as to digge would bee a toile , and to beg a shame ; so to take where opportunity gave way , would shew a brave spirit . Thus was it not sufficient for mee to perish alone , without drawing others into the same ginne . My life became their line , which being crooked , brought them to as untimely an end . Thus did I see , and seeing fall , and falling bring others to bee sharers in my fall . O my gracious Redeemer , as thou lookt with the eye of pitty upon the good Thiefe ; as thou rewarded his late conversion , and short confession with the promise of a Paradise , a place of endlesse consolation ; vouchsafe to cast thine eye upon mee and save mee . The Kingdome of Heaven suffereth violence ; let it be my holy theft to lay hand upon it : to suffer all things for it ; that as thou sufferedst all torments to procure me it , so I by suffering with thee , and for thee , may enjoy thee in it . CHAP. 21. His breach of the Fifth , in suppressing testimonies to witnesse a truth , or suborning witnesses to maintaine an untruth . NEver was there sinne of higher quality , that admitted more impunity . Wheras I might have performed an office of Christian charity , in giving testimony before a Magistrate to settle my Neighbors estate ; or in clearing his good name ; or in vindicating his cause from a powerfull injurious Adversary : were it in my selfe or any other , I have laboured to suppresse the testimony ; closed with the worser party ; and so for mine own ends strengthned an injury . Or if this failed , being so well practised in evill , I would not stick to suborne witnesses to maintaine an untruth : and by false oathes to suppresse a truth . And yet I thought with my selfe , who could bee safe , if such hatefull Agents could be safe ? if it were sufficient to accuse , who would be found innocent ? yet whether it were for gaine or spleen , or to purchase a powerfull friend ; Truth must bee out-countenanc'd , because private ends were made to beare it . The excellent speech of that Heathen might have wrought much on mee , for it well deserved to be ever printed in my memory ; who , when his friend came unto him , desiring him to take a false oath in a cause of his which highly concern'd him , made answer : you must , said hee , beare with me , I cannot shake hands with truth so easily . There are many friends to be gotten if I lose you : but if by forswearing my selfe I lose the favour of God , I cannot get another , there is but one God. I had heard of the fearefull judgements likewise of many false Accusers , suborned witnesses , and hatefull Suborners , what miserable ends befell them ; how they were discarded from the company of all good men ; how they were to weare some badge or marke of distinction , that every one might know them , and knowing abhorre them . Yet was this path so much bette , as I could not but thinke , that there was some gainefull thing in it , or else it would not be so much frequented . And the common Road was ever held the nearest and securest . And so indeed , I found it ; the nearest to destruction : and so little safe by being secure as my security brought me to the brinke of perdition . Indeed I tooke occasion sometimes to talke with my selfe ( whom I ever found my greatest foe ) and by communing with mine owne heart , to sift & search my selfe throughly how I stood affected . And even in the breach of this Commandement I thus reasoned . Tell me , Pilgrim , dost thou know what in this case thou oughtst to doe ; and shall the follicitancy of a powerfull friend prevaile so farre with thee , as to bring thee to doe what thou oughtst not to doe ? Hast thou not to doe ? Hast thou not a friend within thee , whose favour thou art to preferre before all friends without thee ? And will not this deare bosome friend of thine , thinke much , that either for love , hatred , dread or reward , thou shouldst despise her , nay sell her ; and by this meanes make thy nearest friend thy Accuser ? And I begin to inquire what friend this might bee ! And I found right soone how it was no other then my Conscience ; who , howsoever I bore my selfe to her , would deale faithfully with mee ; and justly as I had deserved at her hands , either accuse or excuse mee . This was likely enough to have wrought some good effect upon me ; but alas , worldly respects made me forget my best friend . So as shee , who should have stood in the gate , and spoken for me , is now become mine Enemy . Sweet Iesu , thou , against whom so many false witnesses stood up , to condemne thee ; vouchsafe to be a witnesse for me , that I now hate what sometimes I so unhappily loved ; and intend to love what I sometimes undeservedly hated . To witnesse a truth , were it for my deadliest Foe : and to suppresse an untruth , were it to the prejudice of my dearest Friend . Deare Lord , be thou my defender against the Devil , my great Accuser ! CHAP. 11. His dis-esteeme of the Sixt and last , in coveting what was an others ; and desiring to increase his owne with the losse of others . FOolish wordling , thine own experience had not long since told thee , and thou mightst have remembred it , had not thy folly so deluded thee ; how touching the world , he had the least part in it , who had the most of it . Againe , he had the most command over it , who with most indifferency used it . To love it , was to be drowned in it : to leave it , was bravely to neglect it , and in that neglect amply to be supplyed by it . Where as such as be worldly , are ever labouring of a Dropsy . The richer they are in estate ; the hotter they are in pursuit . These see , and yet they will not credit their own sight , what a very small portion of Earth must suffice them ! How their thirsty and unbounded desires must be then brought to a strait , a very straite compasse ! And these things I oft times considered ; wondring much at the vanity of men ; that knowing how their mouths were to be filled with gravell , how any thing could in reason be so deare unto them , which should choake them . And yet casting mine eye upon my selfe ; I found very well how I was one of this List . One that could scatter his owne like a prodigall rioter : and catch at an others like a covetous Miser . One that could bee content that his Neighbours providence should maintaine his riot . One that had a dangerous leering eye after his Neighbours Wife ; or more then a moneths mind to his maid ; or to such a parcell of ground which lay fitting for him ; or to some of his Cattell ; and these , even any of these , could he find in his heart to enjoy without returning satisfaction for them . It is true , very true , that the Story of Ahab is old in respect of time , but new in respect of daily practise . Every day shall wee find an Ahab borne ; every day a Naboth dye . His Vineyard must occasion a breach betwixt him and his Land-lord . He must forego it , or loose his life that owes it . The anger of a Great man is violent . His will is his Law : his inferiour must bend or breake . If the plot lye neare him , it becomes an eye-sore to him . Hee will either buy it , or come any way by it that he may enjoy it . O how can I utter this without remorse ? How may I endure my selfe when I heare these things ? These are they which wound mee , for like poysonous Arrows they stick in my flesh ; neither can I answer one for a thousand . How strong have beene my desires in shedding my owne bloud ? What dayes have I spent in carefull carking , painefull toyling ? What nights in cunning compassing , watchfull contriving how I might come by my purpose ? These cares made sleepe many nights a stranger to mine eyes . And yet this my affliction seemed sweet unto me ; such was the strength of an inured misery . O my Soule , how tedious would one of these houres have seem'd , had it beene employed in casting about for that inheritance which shal never perish ! Alas ! what could I imagine , that this earthly Tabernacle of mine should never be dissolved ? That my indirect wayes should never bee brought to judgment ? That God had forgotten the poor ; and that he would not revenge their wrongs to my shame ? yes . Lord I consider'd this , and the more my sinne : for I sought to put away thy judgements farre from my memory ; not to think of them lest they should startle me . Thus was their doctrine deare unto me , who sought to sow pillows under my elbow . To fatten me in my transgressions , with a tush God seeth not . But , O Lord , holy and just , thine eye is ever over mee : and thine care is not shut from mee ; nor from those who cry for vengeance against mee . This it is which causeth mee to walke heavily all the day long ; to chatter like a Craine : and with much affliction of spirit to poure forth my complaint to thee my Lord and my God. O when I remember , how cunningly I sought to winde mee into the acquaintance of my Neighbour ; how smoothly I glozed with him ; what court'sies I offer'd him , meerly to surprize him , & make my selfe a gainer by him ! how I seemed to esteeme least , what I prized most , that so my practises might be suspected lesse ! How I could easily dispence with any indirect way , so I might by it be brought to mine owne end ! How I neglected no time to fit mine owne turne ! O while I remember these things , I am utterly cast downe ; there is no breath in mee ; my flesh faileth mee ; and my strength decayeth within mee . For I know , Lord , how thou hast these things in thy remembrance ; and if thou deale with mee according to thy justice , there is no hope for such an incorrigible Sinner ; he is lost , he is lost for ever . And yet , Lord , there was a little Zacheus , whom thou calledst from the Receipt of Custom ; and , no doubt , who knew the World , and how to make gaine in the World ; who left his Calling for thee ; climb'd up into a Figtree to see thee : and came downe speedily from thence to receive thee : and that he might more fully confirme his love unto thee , divided his goods , that hee might wholly reserve himself for thee . O deale so with mee , my sweet Saviour , that of a Covetous Sinner I may become a true penitent Convert , in bestowing the small remainder of my dayes to thine honour . CHAP. 23. Hee takes a view of those Seven Spirituall workes of mercy : and acknowledgeth his failings in each of them . THou hast taken now a full view of those two Tables , delivered by God unto Moses ; by him to us . And thou canst not , to thy great griefe , finde one , the breach whereof may not justly accuse , nay convict thee . Goe on yet a little further , and thou wilt find thy selfe ever worser and worser . Tell mee , doest thou hope to receive mercy ? Thou doest well to hope ; for without hope , the heart would break : but what hast thou done that might become so acceptable in his sight , as may bring thee in a full hope or assurance of receiving this mercy at his hands ? Thou knowst well , that wee are to worke out our salvation with feare and trembling : That , not unto him that cryeth , Lord , Lord , but for him that doth the will of his Father which is in Heaven , is the place of blisse prepared . For if workes be the fruits of faith ; to make a fruitfull faith thou should'st apply thy selfe to bee plentuous in good works . Thou knowest , how the barren Fig tree became accursed ; how the barren Wombe in the old Law was held accursed . The Pharisees Prayer , because it bore more leafes then fruit , was rejected . The Publicans Prayer because it bore more fruit then leafes was accepted . Love is the fulfilling of the Law. Now , what argument is there of the love wee beare him : if wee have not a longing desire to doe that which may please him ? The proofe of our love unto God is to doe such works as are acceptable unto God. Now , he has already told thee , what Works may best suit thee : and such as may move him to take most delight in thee . And these are those Seven workes of Mercy . Now , take a little time , before time leave thee , to examine thy self impartially ; what a kind of proficient thou hast beene in these . Whether thou hast not so carelesly borne thy selfe towards God in performing them , as thou maist worthily acknowledge thy failings in each of them . O Lord open thou mine heart : and give mee understanding in all things : let mee open mine heart unto thee , and poure my selfe forth before thee : and suffer mee not to flatter my selfe in my transgressions , lest I perish eternally . Thou hast prepared mee the wayes wherein I am to walke : O Lord make my wayes streight before thee : and so water me with the dew of thy grace , that I may bring forth fruites of repentance plenteously . CHAP. 24. Teaching the ignorant . BRing forth that Schollar whom thou hast brought up in Christs Schoole . Whom hast thou fed with the milke of his word ? Whom hast thou seene carried away with the blast of every vaine doctrine , and hast sought to reclaime him ? whom hast thou at any time perceived to bee ignorant in the principles of faith , and hast taken paines to informe him ? whom scismatically affected , and thou laboured to convert him ? whom seditiously minded , and thousought to compose him ? Hast thou taken pitty of thy Brothers ignorance , and brought him to a knowledge of God and himselfe with the spirit of meekenesse ? Nay , hast thou taught thine owne family : and by thine owne example wained them from folly ? O no , poor Pilgrim , these things have been farre from thee . It is for thee rather to confesse , how many from the light of the Gospel , thou hast brought into ignorance . How many thou hast deceived with a pretended zeale . How many thou hast brought from the knowledge of the truth , by intangling them in errors ; false opinions ; strange doctrines . O how many have come unto thee to receive instruction from thee ; or to bee satisfied in some scruple , wherin thou mightst have done an office of charity , if it had pleased thee : whilst thou , regardlesse of those wounds of a troubled conscience ; either applyed no cure at all unto them : or else uncharitably left them intangled in more doubts then thou found'st them . And was this the way to teach the ignorant : in corrupting rather then correcting the delinquent ? In perplexing rather then resolving the truly Penitent ? O my best Master , looke downe upon mee with the eye of thy favour ? I know well I might have brought many unto thee , which by my loose life , and false doctrine I have drawne from thee . O teach me thy Law , that I may not onely learne it my selfe , but teach others by the patterne of my selfe , to love , live and delight in it . CHAP. 25. Correcting the delinquent . AS it is humility first to examine ones selfe : so is it charity to correct in an other , whatsoever he holds corrigible in himselfe . Gods Law is the Glasse , which will present to us every blemish that is upon the face of our soule . Wherin , we are ever charitably to consider , and acknowledge too , that whatsoever troubles our Brothers eye , is but a mote , compared to that beame which is in our owne . But say , unprofitable Pilgrim , wherein hast thou done this Second spirituall worke of Mercy , to Correct the delinquent ? Nay , rather hast thou not cherished him in his sinnes : and told him they were none , when as they pierced the clouds , and came up with a strong voyce even into the presence of God ? Hast thou not blessed the wicked in his evill wayes : and mov'd him to make a league with his transgressions ? Yes , Lord , yes ; yet not unto all , have I done this . For some there be whom I have corrected , nay censured rather then corrected . For my desire was to have their sinnes published to their shame ; to have their good names taken away ; to have them houted at in the street , which tasted more of detraction , then correction . For this I did not with the spirit of meeknesse , as I was commanded : but with the spirit of fury or indignation , which brought them to bee rather hardned in sinne then reformed . But I must confesse , I offended farre oftner in the former then in the latter . I meane in humoring sinne ; either to make me more endeared to them : or else for feare lest the very like sinnes should bee found out and reproved in mee by them . So as my owne guilt made mee to palliate their sin . Deare Lord , I know well I have often sinned herein : I have stood in feare to reprove the transgressions of others , and therefore became I Author of their death : because that poyson which by crying against , I might have expelled , I have not expelled : in humoring those which I should have corrected . Nay , what was more : I conceived indignation , against all such as reproved me for my vices : so as , those have I hated , whom I ought to have loved : and whatsoever distasted or displeased me , I desired earnestly that they should not be . O forgive me these . And make me henceforth such an Enemy to all vices , as I may correct my selfe with an impartiall sharpenesse : Others with the spirit of compassion and meekenesse . CHAP. 26. Counselling the indigent . COunsell to the poore and needy , is as a receipt unto the sicke , in the time of his extremity ; what availes a Medicine unapplyed ; Physicke unministred ; or counsell un-imparted ? I have known such as were destitute in this kind ; how with teares in their eyes they importuned my advice : and I had it in readinesse , but would not minister it : because hee was poore and despicable in the eye of the world , that besought it . And alas , was this the cause ? Hadst thou beene well advised , thou wouldst rather have given it , because hee was poore and succourlesse that did request it . For consider thy owne poore condition ( hard-hearted Pilgrim ) and in what case thou standest . How thy good and gracious God , should hee not looke downe upon thee with the eyes of his mercy , and take pitty on thy poverty , what might become of thee ? Into what straits has thy soule beene brought ? how dry , & desolate ? how weake and dis-consolate have bin thy staggring resolves ? How fainting and heartlesse have beene thy hopes ? Foes thou hadst without thee , feares within thee ; not the least beamling of comfort shone upon thee . Yet for all this , thou foundst a faithfull Counsellor to advise thee ; a gracious Comforter to refresh thee . And yet thou quite forgotst all this , when thou sawest thy brother in necessity . He complained to thee how hee was wronged , and it lay in thine hand to redresse it , but thou wouldst not be seene in it . Thy Counsell at least thou mightst afford it , but thou denied him it : or which was worse , so advised him in it , as might rather hinder then further him in the pursuit of it . Gracious Lord , in whose brest are layd up all the treasures of knowledge and wisdome : and from whom are all the Counsels of the wise ; direct mee in the wayes of life ; remove from mee the wayes of death . Give mee a soft and meek spirit , that I may use all good meanes to bring home those that are wandring ; to strengthen those that are standing . To helpe the succourlesse : comfort the comfortlesse : and to afford my best Counsell unto all , according to their severall necessities . O my deare Lord , pardon mee for the neglect of this duty , and make me to redeeme the time with a cheerfull constancy . CHAP. 27. Comforting the afflicted . AS Affliction is the meanes to bring man to the knowledge of himselfe ; so gives it occasion of trying the Charity of an other . Who is hee , that was afflicted , and J comforted him not ? Now answer , poore Pilgrim , if thou canst , to this Intergatorie . Hast thou at any time applyed comfort to the afflicted ? nay , rather hast thou not rejoyced in his affliction : or with one of Iobs miserable Comforters , increased his affliction ? Hast thou plaid the part of the Levite or Samaritan , when thou foundst him wounded ? Didst thou poure the balme of thy best comfort into him ? Didst thou support him in his weaknesse ? Solace him in his heavinesse ? O no! though before the time of his affliction I profest my selfe his friend : and upon all occasions would be neare him : yet when hee fell from what hee was , I shrunke from what I profest ; my countenance begun to bee changed towards him : And was this to comfort the Afflicted ? was this to bind up his wounds ? was this performing the office of a friend ? Did I to this afflicted soule , as I desired to bee done unto ? Had I not sometimes felt the bitternesse of an afflicted spirit ; even in mine owne bowels ? And then I roared out - O — a troubled spirit who can heale ? And yet God in his due time comforted mee , expecting that the like should be done by me . But no sooner was I set on my feet , then my corporall cure stript me of all spirituall care , I drunke wine in bowles , and applyed mine eare to the sound of the Harpe ; I stretched my selfe on beds of Ivory , fatning my selfe with the delights of vanity , but never sorry for the Affliction of my brother Ioseph . O my deare Lord , deale not thus with mee , for I perish , if thou turne away thy face from me . I have beene in heavinesse , and thou didst comfort me ; bring me to a fellow-feeling of an others misery : that I may mourne with those that mourne , and partake with them in their affliction : for so shall I receive comfort in the day of my visitation . CHAP. 28. Suffering injuries patiently . I Have often thought with my selfe , how I never more nearly resembled my Saviour , then that very day wherein I became a sufferer . And yet so strongly had flesh and blood wrought upon me , as I found nothing more hard to digest then an injury . I left my Patterne , and runne into the world : Where I found revenge playing her part , crying , No peace , no peace . And I became one of her Followers . Offences receiv'd I weigh'd above their quality ; but done , I could lessen them smoothly . So partiall a Friend was I to my selfe ; so violent a Foe unto others . Wee usually account that beast the strongest , that can beare the greatest burdens : meane time , wee hold him the weakest that has a back to beare the greatest injuries . But alas , what matter makes it what foolish flesh account him ! Hee is not for Gods presence , who will not possesse his soule in patience . And canst thou speake this , proud Pilgrim , and not tremble ? Dost thou call to mind what unsufferable dishonour the Lord of lords suffered for thy sake ? what mockings , what spittings , what buffetings , what whippings , what reproachfull torments hee suffered that thou mightst bee free ? yet what did his innocence answer for it selfe but in silence ? And yet for all this , thy blood must bee inflamed , if the least occasion of distaste be offered ; thy reputation cannot beare it ; thy spirit must not so be baffalt . Poore passionate worme , what a stirre is this thou makest with thy selfe ? pray thee tell mee , who made thee thine owne revenger ? O doe not rob him who made thee , of what is due unto him , and what is estranged from thee ! Oh , but this Revenge has beene no stranger to me . That day nor night past not over me , wherein shee kept mee not company : and with her pressing urg'd mee to requite an injury . Shee dictated to mee what a disgrace it was for a man of quality to beare an affront from any : how these would live , when I were dead , and leave an aspersion on my Grave . These , and such as these made me forget God : and to take out of his hand what was due unto him . O thou avenger of the needy , raiser of the humble , and puller downe of the Mighty ; let it bee never said of mee , that I have sought to rob thee of thy glory . Revenge is thine , and thou wilt repay it . Be it so , Lord ; and may hee be taken in his own snare who seekes to preuent thee in it . O may the presence of my crucified Saviour , make mee become a patient sufferer . CHAP. 29. Forgiving Offences heartily . VVHat a dangerous thing the Memory is , when made a Reteiner of injuries ! This caused that noble Heathen to desire rather how to learne the art of forgetfulnesse then the art of Memory ; because hee remembred more things ( meaning of offences done him ) which hee desired to forget , then ever hee forgot what hee desired to remember . This very case is mine : I have suffer'd , but not comparably to what I have made others suffer . I held the offences done me so unsupportable , as they were above the power of flesh and blood to beare . Reconcil'd I would not be unto death ; for death I pretended easie to such an injury . So as , though by continuance of time , and interceed of friends , I might seeme in some sort to coole ; all that their perswasions could bring mee to was this : I would forgive him , but never forget him . I would ever have an eye on him : nay , rather if I at any time met him , I would ever have mine eye from him . My heart was not with him . Neither could I with patience ( such was my malice ) speake unto him . And was this to forgive offences heartily ? O how could I looke upon the Image of God in him ; and forget my selfe so much towards him , as not to vouchsafe to cast a good countenance upon him ? Vile wretch , what might become of thee , if God in his justice should so deale with thee ! was there ever offence done by the most profest enemy , that may be compar'd to those which wee daily doe to his divine Majesty ? O no! How is it then ? Must hee both forget and forgive ; and thy rancour such , as thou wilt only forgive but not forget ? O poure thy selfe forth into a Sea of teares ; be so farre from not forgiving offences when thine enemie does begge it ; as thou dost heartily forgive him before hee begge it . Deare Lord , this I resolve to doe ; but weake are my resolves if they be not assisted by thee ; O give mee then in these holy motions such constancy , as in the remembrance of thy love unto mee , J may forget offences heartily : and so receive remission of my sinnes at thine hands in the day of mercy . CHAP. 30. Praying for his Persecutors fervently . THis Lesson was taught me by my Saviour , when amongst others hee suffered for mee the worst of all others . When the feares of death encompassed him ; when nothing but sorrow and heavinesse accompanied him ; even then , when his Persecutors deserved least , shewed he his charity most . Father forgive them , for they know not what they doe . Thus did hee excuse them from malice , imputing all they did unto ignorance : so full of compassion was hee , even in his greatest anguish . Now , resolve mee , poore Pilgrim , wherein hast thou showne thy selfe an obedient Scholler to such a Master ? wherein hast thou observed this Lesson ? Hast thou prayed for them , who sought to make a prey on thee ? Hast thou wished from thine heart , that he might ride on with honour , who sought thy dishonour ? Nay rather , hast thou not cursed , where thou shouldst have blessed ? Hast thou not reviled him who wronged thee : nor sought to impeach his fame who wrought mischiefe against thee ? yes , yes unhappy Pilgrim ; none could bee more ready to inflict , then thou to requite . To pray for them , or to performe any office of charity in behalfe of them ; was so farre from thine intention ; as thou accounted it rather an act of weaknesse , then devotion . Deare Father , this I consider : and with griefe of heart confesse my selfe herein a foule transgressor . Sweet Iesu , thou who prayed for thine Enemies , teaching us to doe the like for such as should persecute us , give mee grace to doe good to those who doe evill unto me ; to love those that hate me ; to forgive those who trespasse against me ; to spare such as offend me : and to pray for all such as persecute me ; and that with such fervency , as my prayer may bee accepted in the time of their necessity . CHAP. 31. He takes the like view of those seven corporall workes of Mercy ; and acknowledgeth likewise his failings in each of them . FRom the view of those Spirituall Works of Mercy ; in every one whereof thou hast found thine infinite failings , descend now , poore Pilgrim , to those corporall workes of Mercy , necessarily required of every Christian , to make him of a bond-man to sinne , a Free-man and a Citizen . But alas I much feare mee , that my desires have been so long allied to earth , nay laid in earth , as these Workes of Mercy are estranged from my knowledge . Truth is , poore Pilgrim that I am , I have observed these Workes neglected , with the reasons from whence such neglect proceeded . For , taking my Survey of all conditions : I found here one , who , priding himselfe in his youth , bestow'd so much time in company , as he reserved no time to thinke of Workes of Mercy . Another I found taken with his owne beauty ; who tooke such content in looking upon himselfe , as hee had not one looke to bestow upon his needy Brother . Another was so rich , and so devoted to that worldly Idol , as it was death to him to afford one crumme of comfort to relieve him that was distressed . Another , as one distrustfull of Gods providence , refused to performe all offices of charity , fearing his too much bounty might bring him to poverty . Another I might heare presuming of Gods mercy ; and flattering himselfe with — Tush God will be mercifull . Though wee should forget what hee hath commanded us , hee will not forget to performe what hee hath promised us . Another seeing the whole world set on mischiefe ; and how the simple and innocent were most scorned , to avoid the scorne of the foole , hee scornes not to become such a foole as to follow the haunt of the wicked . Lastly , I might find an other of so soft and delicate a condition , as these Workes of Charity were too sharpe and full of austerity ; this man would take no acquaintance of them , lest hee might become enfeebled by them . And such as these in thy Survey on earth hast thou seene and observed ; but pray thee , poore Pilgrim , all this while that thou observedst others , was there nothing thou couldst find in thy selfe ? Sure I am , thou oughtst to have endeavored with all thy power , and all thy knowledge to know thy selfe ; for farre better and more laudable had it beene for thee to know thy selfe , then by neglecting and forgetting of thy selfe , to have knowne the course of the starres , the strength of herbes , the complection of men , the natures of all inferiour creatures , with the experience and knowledge of all heavenly and earthly things . For better is a simple Swaine then a proud Philosopher . I gather by thy owne words , thou hast been a notable Observer : but wherein hast thou shewne thy selfe an able Professor ? O my Lord , I know not what to answer . I stand at thy Barre , and have nothing to plead for my selfe . Onely deare Lord , I must confesse to my shame , I have sinned , I have sinned . Not one work of Mercy , but I have either wholly neglected , or not performed as thou hast commanded . O Lord , impute not my sinnes unto me , lest I perish everlastingly . CHAP. 32. Feeding the Hungry . THou hast heard read the parable of Dives and Lazarus ; and thou condemned the hard-heartednesse of Dives , that rich Glutton ; who , amidst those various dishes of his , would not afford some few Crums , some poore fragments from his well-furnish'd Table , to feed a poore hunger-starv'd Begger : And upon re-view of that story , concluded him justly damned , for suffering his needy Brother to perish , while he surfeited : So as his very dogges might partake , what poore Lazarus could not get . Nay , this hungry Begger received more court'sie from his dogs then from their Master : For they licked his sores , wheras from Dives hee received no comfort , no succour . But now tell me , unhappy Pilgrim , may not I say to thee , as that Prophet said to David ? Thou art the man. Didst thou never see thy poore necessitous Brother hungry , but thou hadst compassion of his poverty ? Didst thou goe to thy Cruse to refresh him with oyle : or to thy Barrell , to make him a Cake , that hee might walke in the strength thereof , and not die ? Nay rather , hast thou not suffered him to cry at thy gates , till his very bowels earned within him ; and thou wouldst not heare him ? Hast thou not bestow'd more liberally upon the proud Actor , then on thy poore Brother ? Nay , hast thou not sowne so lavishly thine ill-bestowed fortunes upon the Brothell or Stage , as thou hast left nothing to give to the poor mans boxe ? Hast thou not suffered some of Christs owne Members to perish for want of food ? And didst thou not understand , how so many as thou suffered thus to bee starved , when thou mightst relieve them , so many hast thou murdered , and thy blood shall answer for them . O my Lord speake for me ; for shal I say I have not done this ? my Conscience will then accuse mee , and say I am a Lyar. I confesse , Lord , I confesse , I have not fed the hungry : but rioted wantonly , fatning my selfe in mine owne security . O give mee henceforth a soft and compassionate heart : that I may truly suffer with my poore Brother in his necessity : and out of that store wherewith thou hast blessed me , ever reserve a portion for the hungry . I know Lord , that thou art the Avenger of the poore . For if Lazarus begge a Crum , and may not have it : Dives shall crave a drop , but not receive it . O cloath my soule with compassion , that shee may avoid that fearfull condition ! Nay , I never see any hungry begger , but take pitty of him for his sake , whereof he is a Member . CHAP. 33. Giving drinke to the thirsty . IT is wonderful thou shouldst not remember thy poore thirsty Brother with one cup of cold water , when thy cup flowes over so plentuously , partaking of Gods bounty in so ample a measure . Thy custome has beene to rise early in the morning , and to gather thy Companions together , and to drinke till your eyes grew red , and to put away farre from you the evill day in jollity and pleasure . Meane time , those very Snuffes which your excesse procured , would have beene sweet drops to many poore thirsty soules , who for want of drinke have fainted . O but I can ghesse why thou , who thus riotest in thy delights , decaying thine health with healths ; art so forgetfull of thy thirsty Brother . Deep drinkers are ever of the shallowest memories . But I must tell thee , that a day will come ( and fearefull will be that day ) when , howsoever thou now with full cups and loose company removest these things far from thy memory : all these neglects , uncharitable neglects , shall be presented before thee . Then thou wilt find none with a light song to spend a serious houre . Sulphur and brimstone will be then an unsavory potion : And yet this must be thy portion : because thou abused the good creatures of God ; in bestowing them on wantonnesse , that might have ministred reliefe to others necessities . Gracious Saviour , thou who in thine extreme thirst , hadst no better drinke given thee then Gall and Vinegar , which when thou hadst tasted , thou wouldst not drinke , perceiving the malice of the Iewes to be such , as it raged even to thine end . Give me grace to remember the state of my thirsty Brother . To abhorre all surfetting and drunkennesse : and to be helpfull to the Saints , as well out of my scarcity as aboundance . CHAP. 34. Harbouring the harbourlesse . THe Pilgrims Harbour , is a Christians Honour . Mild Moses , loving Lot , faithfull Abraham were excellent patternes of this duty . Some of these received Angels in the habit of Strangers . That charitable widdow would have a bed-stead for a Prophet . This I know well thou approvest , for even thy selfe art here a Pilgrim upon earth : sojourning up and downe in this vale of misery ; wholly harbourlesse , unlesse some take pitty of thee . For the very best that lives here upon earth , has only a place of sojourning , no place of abiding . Wee come unto our Inne , and the next morning we are gone . But let mee returne to thee ; and now in good sadnesse tell mee , hast thou to thy power performed this Office of charity ? Hast thou received such poore harbourlesse Guests as came unto thee ? Hadst thou a lodging for them , in the time of necessity ? Took'st thou delight to conferre with them ; to minister what was needfull unto them ? was their sight deare unto thee , and that for his sake who made both them and thee ? O no! me thinkes thou hangs downe thine head , as one who acknowledg'd himselfe guilty . Thou canst not find one of this sort , to whom thou hast shewne this Worke of Mercy . Others indeed , there are , to whom thou hast given free hospitality ; entertaining them cheerfully : and inlarging thy bosome unto them in all offices of court'sie . But these were none of Christs poore ones ; These were none of his little ones . These were none that stood in need of any such favour . These , if their hearts would have serv'd them , might as well as thy selfe have performed these good offices : and with a liberall hand supplyed others necessities . And was this to harbour the harbourlesse ? Christ himselfe was an example unto thee of great poverty : for whereas the Birds of the ayre had their nests , and the foxes their holes , yet had not hee a place whereon to rest his head . Now thinke with thy selfe how memorable that worke of Magdalen was , in pouring her boxe of precious oyntment upon his head ; how commendable that devout office of Ioseph of Arimathea was , in begging the body of our blessed Saviour ; in embalming it , and bestowing it in a new Sepulchre ; what an happy occasion little Zacheus had , in receiving him and giving him harbour . And if these were such good and acceptable Offices to the Head , they cannot chuse but have their reward , being with a single and sincere heart done to his Members . Deare Saviour , may it be mine honour to be hospitable to my poore harbourlesse Brother . For I know whatsoever I doe to one of these little ones , I doe it unto thee . And what can I doe lesse then serve thee with thine owne ? For what have I that I have not received from thee ? Bee it then my Crowne , to give harbour to those needfull ones of thine which thou shalt vouchsafe to send unto me : may I lodge them in my bosome for the love I beare thee : but this I cannot doe unlesse thou give mee a liberall heart , that I may more plenteously abound in these good workes of Charity . CHAP. 35. Cloathing the naked . GO into thy Wardroabe ( proud Pilgrim ) and see if thou findest not there two Coats . Both these are not thine ; thy naked Brother has a property in one of them . Bring it forth then unto him , and cloath him : for if thou keepe it from him , and he perish , thou , and none but thou didst starve him . But this little moveth thee ; so thou maist observe the fashion : follow the vanity of the time , and pride thy selfe in these borrowed beauties , thou little carest how thy naked Brother fares . Change and Choice of raiments hast thou in store for thee : and these must bee cut , slashed and indented : as if thy very Garment had committed some foule crime , and were for an Anatomy begged . Neither is there any hope that such light Minions as thou consortest with should take any pitty of their naked Sister : having so little pitty on their owne naked brests , laid open to winde and weather , to catch a deluded Lover . Good God ; how much are the use of Cloaths inverted , from what they were first intended ! For at first Cloaths were made to keepe out accidentall cold , and to hold in naturall heat . Whereas now they are made to let in cold , and to keepe out heat . O I must tell thee , delicate Pilgrim , that from top to toe if thou meet thy poor Brother destitute or unprovided , and thou hast in store to supply him , and yet doest deny him , thou art a false Brother in defeating him of what is due unto him . For that very Garment which thou sufferest to Moath-eate in thy Chest ; those very shooes which thou sufferest to rot ; are none of thine , but the shooes and Garment of thy poor Brother : yet rather then thou wilt render him what is due unto him , thou canst bee well contented that they both rot together . And now tell me , base slime , what art thou , being in such pretious Apparell trimmed , but a Sepulchre outwardly dawbed , and inwardly withall corruption filled ? But what shalt thou bee in thy Grave , when thou art stript of all that outward varnish and worthlesse grace , which made thee so seemingly compleat on earth ? Nay , what will become of thy poor Soule , that must then suffer for giving so much way to the pride of her Maid ? What will shee bee able to answer , when her poor starved Brother shall come forth , and in the presence of an all-knowing Iudge , there witnesse against thee , how thou hadst Meat , & wouldst not feed him ; Drinke , and wouldst not refresh him ; Lodging , and wouldst not harbour him ; store of Raiments , and wouldst not cloath him ? O my sweet Iesu , answer for mee ; for I am dumbe . Thou hadst but one Coat , and it was without Seame , to signify thine unity : and for this did the Souldiers cast Lotts , to discover their avarice or envy ; put upon mee the robe of Charity , that I may rather strip my selfe and become naked , then suffer any naked Member of of thine to goe from my door uncloathed . CHAP. 36. Visiting the Sick. THere can bee no greater mercy showne in all those outward Workes of mercy , then in this one which is exercised in the service or ministry about the Sick. For in this is both the hungry fed , and the thirsty refreshed . This receiveth Christ as if it had beene done unto himselfe , when hee hung upon the Crosse , and said ; I thirst , Whatsoever yee have done unto one of my little ones , yee have done it unto mee . Likewise , yee cloath the naked , when yee cover the Sick. And yee harbour the harbourlesse , when ye make the Sick mans Couch ready for him to lye in . And yee visit the Prisoner , when yee comfort the Sick imprisoned by meanes of the bonds of his infirmity . Lastly , yee performe the pious office of burying the Dead , inclozing those dayes of his infirmity , with the discharge of so holy and solemne a duty . Thus by ministring to the Sick , wee performe all these workes of mercy . Yea , that this ministry unto the Sick , excelleth all other Workes of mercy and devotion , may bee thus proved . For in Workes of austerity or religious discipline , wee are said to serve God in the suffering of one Sense , or one Member . As in abstinence , wee serve him , and suffer for him in our taste ; in Watching , in our Sight ; in course raiment ; in our Couch ; in Silence , in our Tongue , in loathsom stenches , in our smell , in dolefull noise , in our Eares , and so of the rest . Whereas , in Workes of charity in ministring to the Sick First , our Eye serves him , in watching over him ; and sometimes in seeing fearefull visions ; in recompence whereof the glorious vision and divine Sight of God shall bee showne unto Man in Heaven , for the Charity hee bore to his Saints on Earth . Secondly , our Smell in feeling noisome stenches . Thirdly , our Eare , in hearing passionate words , grones , Sighes & extremities . Fourthly , our Touch , in handling and raising the Sick. Fiftly , our Taste , in abstaining from our usuall repasts for their attendance . Sixtly , our Tongue , in comforting them . Seventhly , our Feet , in running up and downe for them . Eightly , our whole Body , in labouring diverse wayes for them . Now , tell mee , delicious Pilgrim ( for I know a Worke of such rigour has closed , harshly with thine humour ) hast thou beene ever in all thy time serious , in performing this holy duty ? Nay ; I see thee blush , and freely confesse , when at any time thou camest into a Spittle or Lazarello ; thine Eye could not endure the sight of an old Vlcer , nor thy smell that Savour ; nor thine Eare their clamour ; nor thy Touch any poor diseased Member . Nay , thou turned'st away thine Eye , thine Eare , nay , every Sense , lest they should offend the delicacy of thy Sense : who , though thou wer 't made of the same Mould , and subject to the like infirmities : yet wer't thou so lightly touched with them , as thou either fleighted them , or with a cold indevour Prayer , said God helpe them , without affording one small Crumme of comfort unto them . O my deare Lord , I know all this to be true : and how can I expect that the Head should either love mee or look upon mee , when his Members were so loathed by mee ? O my good Samaritan , binde up this wound : and powre the Balme of thy saving Grace into it , that it rankle not . Give mee a ready hand to minister to the Sick ; a tender heart to compassionate his griefe : in words to comfort him : in works to succour him , in all necessities to be helpefull unto him . CHAP. 37. Visiting and redeeming the Captive . DOest thou desire to see such Sights as may rightly improve thee ? Such as may bring thee to a more perfect view or discovery of thy selfe , lend mee thine hand ; and I will lead thee to such a place as shall do this ; by presenting before thine eyes , an Image of of the World : and a Picture of thy selfe . An Image of the world shadowed in the Embleme of a Prison : and a Picture of thy selfe in the Embleme of a Prisoner . Looke about thee , and thou canst not chuse but finde variety of Objects to put thee in mind of thy imprisonment . Boults , Shackles , Fetters and Mannacles . Sins of all sorts , spreading in every part or member of the body ; to make thy bondage more miserably heavy . The wayes of iniquity are those Boults and Shackles , which needes must load thee : for what greater weight then the burden of iniquity ? Thy Lusts and concupiscences are those Fetters and Mannacles , which needes must restraine thee : for the too much freedome of thy body , has abridged thy Soule of her liberty , and confin'd her to live in lasting slavery . But look upon the Prisoner ! Hast thou at any time with comfort in thy Mouth , and reliefe in thy Purse , come to visit him ? Hast thou laboured with a part or portion of thine owne Substance to redeeme him ? O no! with what a carelesse eye , stony heart , empty hand hast thou past the very door of that Prison , where thy poor Captive Brother lay on the cold ground , comfortlesse , succourlesse , and more miserable in his lodging then if hee were harbourlesse ? thou hast heard in thy Fathers dayes , how devoutly many Men and Women were disposed in distributing a great part of their estates , and freely bestowing it upon the redemption of one Captive : so deare unto them was the liberty of a Christian . But these are either hid from thine eyes : or what is worse , thou fallest with open eyes : for long may thy Brother Ioseph live imprisoned , before thou visit him ; long time afflicted , before thou comfort him : long time inthralled , before thou redeeme him . Deare Lord , though I bee a Prisoner and have quite forgot my condition ; never so much as opening to my poor Captiv'd Brother the bowells of my compassion ; yet shut not thine eare from the voyce of my Complaint . O my Lord , though I heard not them , heare thou mee : and make mee henceforth more ready to communicate to their necessity , for the love I beare thee . My whole life is a Captivity ; O my joy , as thou hast redeemed mee , so conduct mee to my native Countrey . O how can I sing my Songs in a strange Land ! yet my desire is to sing of thee : for in thy due time wilt thou give mee a delivery out of all my troubles . Out of the depths will I cry unto thee , for thou hast had ever an Eare unto my misery . CHAP. 38. Burying the Dead . BVt sure thou would'st not neglect this clozing duty , though thou camest short in performimg all other offices of charity . Thou hast taken so much paines as to bury thy dead Brother : for even the very Heathen have performed this with due solemnity one to another . Nay , even those , who all their life long were at deadly enmity , were it but only for Neighbourhood , would not be failing in this Christian duty . And yet thou canst speake little or nothing to it . For resolve mee but in this one short question : Hadst thou never any poor Neighbour dying neare thee : and that so poorly as his whole substance would not discharge his Mortuarie ? Nay , hast thou not seene the very Corpes of thy departed Brother arrested , and uncharitably stayed ; who , though he had pay'd his debt to nature , yet must receive no buriall , till his poor Corpes ha's discharg'd his debt unto his Creditor ? And hast thou sought to satisfy his hard hearted Creditor , that those due funerall rites might be performed to thy Brother ? Nay , hast thou not even in the City , when a black Cloud of Pestilence hung heavily over it : when they fell on thy right hand and on thy left : when thou mightst behold the late-populous and freely-frequented Streetes covered with grasse : the very walls cloathed with Mourning : hast thou not even then , I say , neglected this duty : seeking with powders and perfumes to put from thee the evill day : and in deepe healths to drench downe the remembrance of debt , death and danger : and with a forgetfull Evening to close thy dayes distemper ? Nay , hast thou not beene sometimes imployed in Campe service ; where the murdering Ord'nance made no difference of persons : where nothing but fire and fury raged ; nothing but slaughter & horror ranged ; nothing but dolefull voyces of dying Soules resounded : while breathlesse Carcasses lay here & there discatered , but un-interred : & didst thou play the good Centurion ? did'st afford thy charitable hand , after their Warrs , to bring them with peace to their Graves ? Didst thou performe these pious offices in any place , to purchase to thy Soule the glad promises of peace ? O no! Thy care was for one ; and so thou mightst secure that one , small care was taken for the rest . O how this selfe-love dryes up the fountaine of charity ! O hadst thou but never so little laine aside this love to thy selfe ; thou wouldst have shown more love unto thy Neighbour , and therein more true love to thyselfe ! It is true , Lord , it is true ; this love to my selfe made me forgetfull of all others but my selfe . O lessen this love in mee , that I may more plentuously increase in all offices of Charity ! O give mee a charitable hand , a cheerfull heart ; that I may henceforth have a care to see those holy duties performed , which I have so long time neglected . Be they Spirituall or Corporall , let their due discharge , be my Memoriall . But , holy Father , first prepare mee , that I may become better sitted for every distinct duty . As first in Spirituall duties , give mee facility in Teaching the Ignorant ; Affability in correcting the Delinquent ; Ability in Counselling the indigent ; charity in comforting the Afflicted ; Resolution in suffering injuries patiently ; Compassion in forgiving offences heartily ; Devotion in praying for my Persecutors fervently . Likewise , in Corporall duties ; Make me ready to feed the hungry ; with that happy Samaritan , to give drinke to the thirsty ; with those good Patriarchs , to harbour the harbourlesse and conduct them safely ; with devout Dorcas , to cloath the naked and needy ; with thee my best Master , to visit the sick , and if it lye in my power , to ease their malady ; with couragious Iosiah , to visit & redeem those that are in Captivity ; and with holy Ioseph of Arimathea , to bury the dead , with the performance of every other holy duty . O my God , may my weary Pilgrim stepps be so directed that they may dayly draw nearer and nearer to Heaven , whereto they are addressed . CHAP. 39. With sorrow of heart he remembers those Eight Beatitudes , whereof he hath deprived himselfe , by giving entertainment to sinne . VVOe is me ! what good thing may I expect from his hand that made mee , when I have done none of those things for which hee made mee ? If I looke not into my selfe , I am wholly unknowne to my selfe : and if I looke into my selfe , I am not able to endure my selfe . I understand , and the more unhappy I , not to make use of his goodnesse towards mee , how I could not partake with him in his Kingdome of glory , if I labour'd not by a good and gracious life to imitate those blessed stepps of his during my reside here in this vale of misery . And now with sorrow of heart , I remember , how and in what manner I have contemned all those holy duties formerly repeated : and consequently deprived my selfe ; my poor neglected soule , bought at so high price , of all those Beatitudes , pronounced on such godly ones , as have walked before the Lord in uprightnesse of heart . Woe is mee , what will become of mee ? when I shall take up my bed amongst Scorpions ? when my deare Saviour , that victorious Lion of the Tribe of Iuda , shall demand of mee what hast thou done ? under whose Banner hast thou fought ? if under mine , where be thy Colours ? mine were red ones ; died in my pretious bloud ; my Crimson Wounds . But those thou wear'st are none of mine . They are more like the Enemies then mine . Hee can be no reteiner to mee , who scorns to weare my livery . He cannot be my Disciple that will not follow mee . And wherein hast thou followed mee , unlesse it were to betray mee ? or to rob mee of my glory ? And such ever hath bin the pursuit of all the Enemies of my Crosse . Deare Iesu , I appeale from thy Throne of justice to thy Seat of mercy . I must confesse I have not followed thee as a faithfull reteiner , but a back-sliding follower . Nay , I deserve martiall Law , for I have fled from thy Colours : and become a Confederate with thy Enemies : yet , deare Lord , behold my teares , for thou accountest them pretious when they are offer'd by a Contrite heart . O doe not leave mee , for my Soule longeth after thee : even as in a dry ground where no water is , so has shee thirsted after thee . And now , Lord , that I may present my selfe before thee with more humility , I will ever set my imperfections before mee : remembring what good I have omitted when I had opportunity to doe it ; againe , what evill I have committed , when the remembrance of thy mercy might have declin'd me frō it . Amongst which let me now call to mind those Blessings thy gratious goodnesse ha's pronounced to every faithfull follower ; and then examin my selfe , whether I deserve or no to be listed in that number . CHAP. 40. Blessed are the poor in spirit , for theirs is the Kingdome of Heaven . HVmility is the Path that leadeth to glory . There is no vertue that can subsist without it : This may be one reason why the very first Beatitude is grounded on it . But what are we to learne from hence ? Not to be high-minded ; but of an humble and meeke Spirit . In suffering dishonour , for the honour of our Saviour . In possessing our Soules with patience . In mitigating wrath with mildnesse . In relinquishing himselfe ; in preferring others before himselfe . In judging well of others ; but worst of himselfe . In wishing unto others , as to himselfe . In rejoycing in nothing but in the Crosse of Christ : yet unfainedly suffering with those who suffer for Christ . Now return and accompt , proud Pilgrim , whether there appeare any tokens of this poor spirit in thee ? Hast thou not ever reteined a good opinion of thine owne worthlesse worth ? Hast thou not beene of a Contentious spirit ? Hast thou not answered reproach with reproach ? Hast thou not beene more ready in defending thine owne honour ; then advancing the honour of thy Saviour ? Hast thou not beene so farre from possessing thy Soule in patience , as thou couldst not endure the least affront without much violence ? Hast : thou with saft words mitigated wrath : Nay , hast thou never suffered the Sunne to set upon thy wrath ? Hast thou in an humble contempt of thy selfe , preferred others before thy selfe ? Nay , rather hast thou not with the Spirit of contradiction opposed thy judgment against others ; and out of a foolish presumption made an Idol of thy selfe ? Hast thou in the Scale of Charity , preferred others before thy selfe ? or rather , hast thou not rashly judged others in thine heart : and in thy soo strict examination of him concluded with that proud Pharisee , I am not as this man is ? In a word , hast thou judged well of others , but worst of thy selfe : or wished unto others as to thy selfe : or rejoyced like a faithfull Champion in the Crosse of Christ : or like a compassionate Member , suffered with those who suffer for Christ ? O no ; nothing lesse can I finde in my selfe , unhappy Pilgrim . I have ever held a poor spirit in contempt , and an unfit Companion to take acquaintance of in this World. How then deare Saviour , may I expect an inheritance in the Kingdome of Heaven ; who am so farre estranged from a mild Spirit on Earth ? O my Lord incline thine Ear to my petition ! 〈◊〉 a right spirit within mee , so shall I be endowed with what delighteth thee ; by accounting a meek spirit a spirituall beauty ; and after this life , through thy mercy become inheritour of that Kingdome which thou hast prepared for those that love thee . CHAP. 41. Blessed are the meeke , for they shall possesse the Earth . HEre is a promise that the meeke shall possesse the earth : and yet is it hard to find a spirit truly meeke upon the Earth . By which thou maist gather ( poor Pilgrim ) that there is another Earth besides this Earth wee here tread on , which shall bee given for a possession to the meeke . That desired Earth , prepared onely for such who have wained their desires from earth . This is a Land which floweth with better things then Milke and Honey . An heavenly Havilah , where the purest Gold is to be found : nay , where the very Streetes are Paved with Gold ; the Walls are of pretious Stones ; the Gates are made of the best Margarites ; those many Mansions founded of square stones , built of Saphires , arched over with golden Bricks : which none must enter but he that is cleane , none must inhabit that is defiled . Where then must thy possession be in this Land of promise ? what Mansion maist thou expect in this Holy City ? Woe is mee ! I am uncleane ; I am uncleane ; from head to foot there is nothing in me but boyles , sores and runnings . How may I then looke there to receive any Mansion , seeing to a Cleane Lord is required a cleane Habitation ? How may I thinke that my Master will looke on mee , who all my life time have observed least what hee commanded most : practised nothing more then what he prohibited ; neglected nothing more then what hee commanded ? How may I expect from his hands a blessing ; or this promised possession of that earth ; who never shewed so much as the least meeknesse upon earth ? Yet did that meeke Lambe , who became an offering for me , leave such a patterne unto mee ; that if I were not wholly unmindfull of my soules honour : nor wholly forgetfull of the love of such a Master , I could not chuse but after his example become his meeke and obedient Follower . For his whole life was a Mirror of meeknesse : seeing from the Cratch to the Crosse he suffered all things patiently , beare all reproaches meekely , to reach unto thee from the tree of his Crosse a Crowne of glory . O my Redeemer imprint this meeknesse of thine in my memory ; let it never depart from me ; put a meeke and mild answer into my mouth , when any one shall revile me . Let me referre my cause unto thee , and that with such Christian Charity , as I may sincerely pray for mine Enemy : and in meekenesse of spirit to imitate the example of that meeke Lambe , who with so resigned a will became a Sacrifice for mee . CHAP. 42. Blessed are they that mourne , for they shall be comforted . THat wise Preacher could say , It was better going to the House of mourning , then to the house of rejoycing . And yet how little did this admonition worke upon thy thoughts ? How pleasant have those Consorts of death ; those Brethren in evill seem'd unto thee ? How merrily the houre went away ? Nothing was wanting to make your delights more complete : but that you wanted time to make your follies more complete . Full cups , merry Songs , prophane Oathes were the onely Actors that presented themselves in this expence of time . A long night soone past over , but not so easily accounted for . But tell me , thou misguided Pilgrim , were 't thou as quick in thy visits to the house of mourning ? didst thou labour to comfort the comfortlesse ? Didst thou mourne with those that mourn'd ; or with a tender Christian heart suffer with those that suffer'd ? O no! shall I rather tell thee what thou hast done ? Thou hast rejoyced when others mourned ; taken content when others suffered . Nay , if at any time thou mourned'st , it was such , as God himselfe was provoked with it . For thou either immoderately mourned'st for the losse of thy friend , and so offended'st him with thy excessive mourning ; or what was worse , for the losse of some temporall substance , and so provoked him with thy indiscreet sorrowing ; or which was worse , for that thou mightst not enjoy thy full of pleasure ; and so plunge thy soule downe into the balefull pit of perdition for ever . Thy desire was to passe time over with a merry heart : and to satisfie her in the lusts thereof . And yet thou hadst so much divinity in thee as sometimes to consider , how none could partake in comfort here and elsewhere . How none could be there comforted , who was not here afflicted . How none could be there solaced , unlesse hee here sorrowed . How the Almighty had a Sonne without sinne , but none without a scourge . One , who wept often , but was never scene to laugh . One who from his birth to his death made his life a continued Scene of sorrow . One , who in the bitternesse of his soule called and cryed to all such as past by him , to come unto him , to behold him , and witnesse with him , If ever there were sorrow like unto his sorrow . O no my deare Saviour , there was never sorrow like unto thy sorrow , yet I who occasion'd thy sorrow , partake little in thy sorrow ! O bring mee now to a true sense of my sinne ; to a true sorrow for my endanger'd soule . Let my eyes be so well acquainted with teares ; as my affection may be estranged from all joyes . Let mee become so happy a Mourner , as with devout Magdalen , I may become an hearty Convert of an hainous sinner , and so by ceasing from sinne , become a welcome Guest to my Saviour . CHAP. 43. Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousnesse , for they shall bee satisfied . MAny times hast thou hungred ; oft hast thou thirsted ; but tell mee was this for righteousnesse ? No ; this hunger of thine was rather like the Prodigals in hungring after the buskes of vanity ; or like Esau's in hungring after delicacie ; or like Ahabs in hungring after another Vineyard greedily ; or like Hamons in hungring after honour gracelesly . And the like was thy thirst ; Thou thirsted , but it was with Gehezay , after gold ; or with those before the Flood , after full cups ; or like Nimrod , after blood : or like Amnon after lust . All this while , resolve mee where thine heart is ? It cannot be lodged in the Sanctuary , being so betroathed to vanity . Thy delight cannot bee in the Law of the Lord. Thine heart can never endite a good matter , so long as thou suffers it to wander from thee like light Thamar after this manner . O how farre is this after hungring how to promote Gods glory ? how farre is this from thirsting after workes of mercy ? For howsoever some of these , who dedicate themselves to the devotion of the world : upon a more serious remembrance of Gods heavie judgements , prepared for every rebellious and impenitent Sinner , may sometimes seeme struck with remorse of conscience ; and heartily wish with Balaam the death of the righteous : yet so long as they care not for walking in the wayes of the righteous : nor with an humble holy zeale thirst after righteousnesse , nor mortifie their desires by the Law of obedience : they may bee long time wishers before they bee enjoyers . Such desires can never produce good effect , which are not seconded with the fruits of a good life . Where piety has lost her practise ; there is small comfort in the Court of Conscience . As the faithfull man liveth by faith ; so must hee live in the life of faith : and walke according to the profession of his faith ; or hee shall never receive the promises of faith . Hee who believes whatsoever is necessarily to bee believed : and observeth whatsoever is by the divine Law of God commanded , that man shall be accepted . But what is to bee expected in this wide world , this wilde wildernesse ; where there appeares such want of obedience in youth ; such want of devotion in age ; such want of conscience in both ? And what art thou , unhappy Pilgrim , who speakest these things ; but as leaven to make soure the Lumpe ? Thy life hath corrupted many , reclaimed none . None more ready to sinne ; none more slow to sigh for those sinnes which hee hath committed . None hungring nor thirsting more after those troubled brooks of vanity and lightnesse ; none hungring nor thirsting lesse after those precious treasures of Righteousnesse . Deare Lord , be mercifull unto mee a Sinner . I thirst , Lord , I thirst ; give mee to drinke of those waters of life : for unlesse thou helpe mee , and reach them to mee , I remaine desolate and hopelesse of reliefe in this time of my necessity . Sweet Iesu , the well is deepe , and I have not wherewith to draw ; unlesse thou draw mee to thee , and bestow on mee what with all humility I begge of thee . O increase in mee an holy hunger and constant thirst after righteousnesse ; that my wayes and workes may bee sanctified throughout in the practise of obedience . CHAP. 44. Blessed are the mercifull , for they shall obtaine mercy . CAnst thou , unmercifull Pilgrim , looke for mercy at the hand of thy Maker ; and never so much as open the bowels of thy compassion to thy poore Brother ? Art thou not in farre deeper arecres to him that made thee ; then hee is unto thee , whom thou usest so unmercifully ? what would become of thee , if hee should deale with thee according to his justice ? and throw thee into that Lake of fire and brimstone ; where the worme is ever gnawing and never dying ; fire ever burning and never cooling ; and death ever living and never ending ? where woe and sorrow , howling and gnashing of teeth is the best melody that raging Tophet can afford . Now , to avoide a place of such endlesse torment , who would not suffer the losse of any temporall estate , nay even of life it selfe ? Yet thou , unhappy one , wilt not make thee friends of thy worldly Mammon ; nor in workes of mercy expresse thy selfe a Christian . Every where maist thou find subjects fit to exercise thy Charity ; in every lane , in every street thy poore languishing Brother begging reliefe for his sake , who suffer'd death for thy sake : and yet thou turnest away thy face from him : his many ragges and running sores make thee abhorre him . Again , thou canst not encounter thy Debter but with much distemper ; though the times be hard ; his family poore ; and his necessities great , yet conceivest thou no pitty of his distressed estate . Thou layes thine executions upon him , throwes him into prison ; where it is the least of thy care what become of him . Let him starve for food , thou art well contented ; his poor enfeebled corps no sooner lose their breath , then thou losest thy debt , and art herewith well satisfied . Againe , should any poore way-faring soule repaire to thy house , this Cell of thy Pilgrimage ; and after that ordinary forme of begging in Italy , should beseech thee to doe good for thine owne sake ; thine answer , as it has been ever , would be like that churlish Nabals : Shall I give my bread and my flesh unto strangers ? Tell mee then how canst thou looke for the least drop of mercy , who in all thy time hast been a stranger to the Workes of mercy ? Oh when hee shall demand of thee , who gave himselfe for thee ; where bee those hungry soules which thou hast relieved ; those thirsty ones whom thou hast refreshed ; those naked ones whom thou hast cloathed ; Those harbourlesse Pilgrims whom thou hast harboured ; those sickly members whom thou hast visited ; those comfortlesse Captives whom thou hast redeemed ; those last Obits or Offices which thou to thy dead Brother should'st have performed ? what Advocate then canst thou find to plead for thee ? who is hee that will speake a good word for thee to the King , that his wrath may be appeased towards thee ? oh none , none ; Thou art wholly left to thy selfe , and utterly lost in thy selfe : and even in thine owne bosome shalt find that witnesse to accuse thy selfe : as nothing may remaine but the expectance of a terrible and irrevocable sentence . O God of mercy , deale not with mee according to the measure of my sinnes , for they are exceedingly multiplied : but according to thy great mercy put away my iniquities , that thy name may bee magnified . O Lord , thou who delightest in mercy , and wilt have mercy on those on whom thou wilt have mercy , make mee to delight in that wherein thou delightest , that in the day of wrath I may find mercy . CHAP. 45. Blessed are the cleane in heart , for they shall see God. CAn the Leopard lay away his spots , or the Ethiopian his blacknesse ? As the Leper in the old Law was commanded to cry out , I am uncleane , I am uncleane : So I , a foule sinfull Leper , may cry out in the same manner , that men may shun me lest they become infected by my behaviour . For as the soule is farre more precious then the body : so is the Leprosie of sinne farre more dangerous then that of the skinne . The Swan , if at any time shee pride her selfe in her beauty , no sooner lookes upon her black feet , then she wailes her plumes . Miserable Pilgrim ! Looke at thy blacke feet , how they are ever walking in the wayes of sinne ; Looke at thy blacke hands , how they are ever with greedinesse committing sinne ; Looke at thy black prophane mouth , how it is ever belching forth motives to sinne ; looke at thy blacke projecting braine , how it is ever plotting new wayes or passages for sinne . Look at thy blacke deceitfull heart , how it is ever imagining how to strengthen the arme of sinne , Looke at thy black corrupted Lever , which proves thee a corrupt Liver , how it is infected with sinne . Nay , looke at every part , and every where shalt thou find this spirituall Leprosie raging and raigning ; spreading and streaming into every veine , every joynt or artery ? And yet what an Idoll thou makest of thy selfe ? how ready thou art to justifie thy selfe ? How farre from craving thy good Physicians helpe , as thou wilt rather dye then confesse thy want of health ? Truth is , there is no sinne of a more dangerous quality , then this spirituall Idolatry ; for by it whatsoever is in value least is honoured most : And againe , whatsoever in honour most , is valued least . Oh hadst thou ( unmindfull Pilgrim ) looked so carefully to the clensing of thine inward house , as thou hast done to the needlesse trimming of thine outward house : hadst thou beene as mindfull of clensing thine heart , as thou hast beene of brushing thine habit : oh then these leprous spots which now appeare so foulely on thee , had never infected thee ! Then had thy life beene a Lampe unto others ; then had the affections of thine heart beene pure : yea , God himselfe had prepared in thee a Tabernacle for himselfe to dwell in ; a Bed of flowers for him to repose in ; a Temple for him to be praysed in . See then what thou hast lost , by losing that beauty which should have delighted him most ! The sight of God. Woe is mee , what a losse is this ? To be deprived , and of that eternally , in the fruition whereof consists all glory ? The sight of God! Woe is me ! that ever I was borne , to lose that for which I was borne ; for which I was re-borne ! The sight of God! The nourishment of every Angelicall soule ; This have I lost by not clensing my heart : for the cleane in heart shall only see God. O clense mee from my secret sinnes ! O forgive me my strange sinnes ! O let mee now returne to thee with my whole heart : and clense thou mine heart ; that I may make godlinesse my gaine , and with these eyes see thee , my God of Sion . CHAP. 46. Blessed are the Peace-makers , for they shall be called the Children of God. I Beseech you , that neighbour near me , and whose testimony may much availe me ; speake for me ; have I since I sojourned amongst you , laboured to compose peace , or to prevent occasion of Suites ? Have I performed any office that might tend to peace ? Oh speake for me ; be it your charity to speak for me : for unlesse your charity doe it , sure I am my endeavours have little deserved it . O no ; I see you cannot justly speake one good word to the King for mee ! For my conversation hath beene otherwise amongst you . The spirit of contention and contradiction raigned in me : and so farre divided was I from the bond of charity , as I delighted in nothing more then nursing enmity . Injuries I would beare none : nay , rather then embrace peace , I would make injuries of none . Neighbourly arbitrations I neither affected nor admitted : it was my counsell ever that suits should bee commenced : Let the Law try it , though the cause were not worth a fee for which we contended . Nay , to feed this fire of debate with new fuell ; I told such who repaired to mee for advise ( damnable advice to lead a deluded Client into the height of all vice ) that to beare an injury , were to make every one their enemy . How hee who forgives him that wrongs him , encourageth him to picke a new quarrell at him : while the remitting of one becomes the admitting of another : yea , where a wrong is threatned and not revenged , it emboldneth the Actor to see it executed . Thus lay I a snare privily to catch the simple and innocent doer ; and by my mischievous counsell to make him of a Lover of peace a common Barreter . But evill Counsell is worst for the Counsellor ; this I find too true to my discomfort . For now me thinks all those differences which I raised ; all those quarrels which I started ; present themselves before thee , threatning nothing less then perdition to me : for by the malicious instigation of Sathan , they buzze like Bees about me , and with strong hand bring mee forth , before the face of heaven and earth publikely to accuse me . This is hee , say they , who would be called the Child of God ; but how can hee have any interest in that title ; how dares he presume to derive any such promise from God , who all his life time has beene a profest Enemy to the peace of God ? Hee has laboured to encourage Neighbour against Neighbour ; to bring all things into confusion by his distemper ; and may such an one have any hope to aspire to a title of such honour ? The world has beene long since weary of him ; because nothing but contention relished well with him : and shall his spirit which disquieted every place , and became an instrument of faction in every place , enjoy the comfort of peace ? Or the reward of such as embrace peace ; or that superlative title of those Peace-makers , to be called one of the Children of God ? Thus may I , poore Pilgrim , be justly accused , and by what meanes may I be freed ? How may I cleare these accusations , whereof I am not onely endited , but convicted . Even by thy meditation , my deare Saviour ; who brought peace unto us , by suffering so many things for us . O be thou my Peace-maker , my sweet Redeemer ! Let mee now at last , after my breach of peace with thee , and with those whom I ought to have showne my selfe peaceable to , for thee ; let mee , I say , love peace and ensue it , that I may enjoy that Crowne of peace , after my dismission from this Campe of Earth , which thou before all times hast prepared for those who embraced peace upon Earth . And since none can bee called the Child of God , unlesse hee bee a Peace maker ; give me grace to love and live in peace , that I may receive that blessed title from thee , my only Saviour . CHAP. 47. Blessed are they that suffer persecution for righteousnesse sake for theirs is the kingdome of heaven . STraite is the Gate , and narrow is the way that leadeth unto life , and few there be that enter in at it : the reason is , because by many tribulations wee are to come unto it . The high way unto the Crowne , is by the Crosse . Christian devotion and spirituall discipline must bee workes of paine , not of the contented . So shall my hope bee in thee planted ; my herrt on thee sixed ; and my horne by thee filled . CHAP. 51. Lechery . BY this time I had received sufficient instructions from two of my Guests ▪ how to thrive in the world ▪ as likewise how to reserve a port or proud posture in the world . And howsoever Pride and Covetousnesse seemed to bee of different conditions : and of such dis-consorting humours , as these two never tooke liking to any Musicke , but what was full of discord : yet me thought they agreed well enough together under my roofe : yea , I I bestow'd them in the very next lodging to mee , that I might enjoy the benefit of their Company more freely . But having now broke off my discourse with that Guest of mine ; a man wholly made of earth ; and looking aside , I might perceive a fresh youthfull Consort entring the room , where wee conversed . By his habit , gate and fashion , I could scarcely distinguish him , whether hee were man or woman . So strangely effeminate , and to light discourses so affected , as hee breathed nothing but amorous Songs and Sonnets ; loose love was the line by which hee directed the whole course of his life . His bosome was farced full of amorous Knights adventures : His morning Lectures were Boccace and Alcaeus : His evening Anthems were Ariosto and Reginus . For his person , he was of a promising constitution , but of pale complexion : a quick piercing eye ; a nimble perswasive tongue : and of such a wooing winning action , as no expression came from him which would not enforce affection . I must confesse , I no sooner saw him , then I found a glowing heat within mee towards him : yea , I begunne mee thought , to conceive better of him , then either of the two with whom I had before conversed ; so full of delightfull variety was his discourse ; so melodious his voyce ; so affectionately moving and compleate in every part . I desired much to know his descent and Countrey : and hee resolved mee readily ; that his first plantation was neere to the banks of that famous River Sybaris : where he erected a Schoole for love : afterwards richly endowed by such eminent proficients as had beene Schollers in it : but desiring much to see forraine Countries , not onely to improve his own knowledge , but observe her commands to whose service he stood obliged ; Hee coasted along by Paphos , where his Mother , the Soveraignesse of every loyall Lover , then kept Court : And from thence with merry gale hee came to Cyprus : and some few moneths after to renowned Latium . Where hee found such entertainment , as neither care nor cost were awanting to procure his liking . I importun'd him much to heare some of those Lessons which he had formerly taught ? and wherein I desired much to become his Scholler : but small importunity needed , seeing his owne desires were thereto directed : so as , taking me apart from the rest of the Company , hee imparted to mee such directions , as nothing became more pleasing to me then the embraces of folly . Wanton Pictures , light amorous Poems ; loose licentious meetings ; luscious Feastings seazed so strongly on my deluded fancy ; as love became both my Ditty and Deity . For hee advised me to walke by the twi-light ; and and to engage mine honour to an Harlot . Thus was I drawn by the cords of vanity ; made a slave to sinne ; an enemy to my owne soule ; and in the end a by word to the people . O my beloved what may I answer in defence of my lost honour , woe is mee miserable wretch to lose that without all hope of recovery which I should have preserved perpetually ! O incomparable and inconsolable losse , to loose that which is not onely the losse of all goodnesse , but the purchase of all torments ! O thou pretious treasure of a continent soule , how unhappily am I robbed of thee ? O my soule , my beloved , how art thou now to bee loathed ! O my soule , no more my solace , but my anguish ! O my deare , how art thou now become my despaire ! whether art thou falne ? how hast thou left me ; nay how hast thou rest mee of those comforts which I expected from thee ? To what a sinke of all silth , and pollution , hast thou , O lust of my flesh drawne mee ? How may I hope for pardon , in playing so impudently the wanton ? Even by thy mediation , my sweet Saviour ; O offer up my poore petition unto thy Father , that I may become thy devout Saint and Servant , who was sometimes a servant to sinne in every member . CHAP. 52. Envy . HAving thus freely enjoyed the conference of these three Guests ; in whose familiarity I took much content . For as the first and third had recommended to mee Rules of State , and motives to pleasure ; so had the Second taught mee a thriving way how to cram my Coffers , that I might more fully maintaine the port both of th' one and th' other ; holdding my selfe satisfied in these ; I resolved to enter into treaty with the rest : so as walking one day very early , I chanced to meet with one , but the unbeseeming'st one of all my Guests , for his complexion seem'd so withered and decayed : his body so meagre and macilent ; as he appeared rather like some Anatomy then any living Creature . This poor marrow-eaten Wretch I found sighing and making a pittifull mone , as if some heavy mis-chance had befalne him : but inquiring the reason of his sorrowing , he told mee that the occasion of his griefe proceeded not from any mishappe falling to himselfe ; but for the happinesse he perceived many others lived in . For to see anothers field flourish ; or his goods to increase and prosper ; was such an eye-sore unto him , as nothing could more distemper him . This I conceived to be a base condition , and such as to humanity had very small relation . So as , I resolved to quit my house of him ; and give him his Pasport : finding nothing in him but an harsh unsociable humour ; rejoycing in nothing more then the ruine of another , yet desiring to sift him a little further , and to the bottom , to make tryall of his nature ; I took first , occasion to demand of him of what Parents hee descended ; and in what Coast he first planted ? and he told mee , that Iewry was his native Countrey ; and his Parents Iewes ; with whom he long time remained neare to the Lake Asphaltos . I asked of him what content he could take in the World , when nothing but the evill successe of others presented him any object of joy in the world ? And he answer'd mee , if I knew what strange content the Envious man apprehended from others misfortunes , I would preferre that humour before any personall honour : for , said hee , whosoever stands so affected , hee cannot want variety of Subjects to minister to him that content which he desired . I must , indeed , confesse , quoth he , that I am of necessity now & then to encounter with some arguments of discontent ; as I did this very Morning in seeing your Neighbours Pastures so fruitfull ; their harvest so hopefull : but for one of these Objects , I shall find an hundred occasions of content . No place is exempted from mee : no person excepted from playing one part or other in this enterlude of folly . O how it joyes mee to see a proud ambitious spirit entring lists with his Competitor : where the one must necessarily fall to advance the other ? Honour was their bait , and it proves their baine . Againe , to see a Love-sick amorous Foole put his whole patrimony on his back , to enamour his light Mistresse with a phantastick Dresse : and in the end come home with a repulse : and so like a Child put finger i th' Eye : or laying it to heart , make the losse of her fancy , the Cloze of his misery . Againe , to see a miserable covetous Father scraping up an injurious estate for a Prodigall Child ; who before his Fathers Funerall bee solemnized , takes as much paines how to scatter it , as ever his raking Father did to gather it . Or to see a base worlding spend himselfe in sighs and teares for the losse of his beast ; making himselfe no better by his foolish mourning then that poor senselesse Creature for which he mourned . To see wisemen lament for the death of their Children ; as if death were some new thing : or that there were no hope after Death . To see a confident Client faile in his Suite ; or an Earth-worme stript of his estate . And is not this brave sport for an envious spirit . This I considered , and methought I begun to bee taken with the pleasure of it . The report of others well-fare became distastfull to mee ; their mis-fortunes cheerefull newes unto me . Others Weale became my Wo , others Wo my Weale . O my redeemer , thou who art perfect charity , remove from mee the rust of envy . Too long ha's this canker eaten mee . O let mee neither do nor wish that unto anther , which I would not have done nor wished to my selfe . O make mee such an enemy to this Sinne , as I may live in love ; yea rather cease to live , then surcease to love thee for thy selfe , my Neighbour for thy sake . CHAP. 53. Gluttony . NO sooner had I dismist this starveling ; then I encountred another cleare of another temper : plumpe he was and well-liking ; one who cared not much what arrow of Gods judgment were shot , so famine were left out . He told mee , he had beene a professor of Philosophy in the Epicures Academy . How he was by nation a Sidonian , and descended from the Vitellian family . Albeit , in the manner of his discourse , he discovered no great arguments of a Scholler ; being of a dull and clodded fancy : and of apprehension slow and heavy . His providence meerly consisted in purveyance for the belly . Wherein hee observed such delicacie ; as hee scorned much to sit at that Table which was not stored with all Variety . I told him Strangers were not to be so curious ; but rather contented with whasoever was for the present provided . Wherewith seeming a little moved ; Sir , said he , I am neither so wanting in friends nor fortunes , as I need rely upon reversions . I have thus long lived and fed deliciously , making my Bellie my Deitie . And if you knew what delight there were in a luscious Tooth , and what pleasure in full Dishes ; what strength they afford to nature : and how they infuse into the Bloud a fresh reviving vigour , I am perswaded you would preferre this delight before any other pleasure . Sir , answer'd I , take me not up so shortly ; I was never yet knowne such a niggard ; as for sparing a little trash to starve my Belly . Others through their misery may stand indebted to it , but for my part I will rather choose to abridge mine Inventorie , then be so taxed by it . But by your favour I must tell you what I have heard ; that Surfets kill more then the Sword. How he who makes a God of his Bellie , surfets in the delight of such a daintie Deitie . And I have sometimes read Lessius his practise in Physick . How , when Nature grew so weake in him , as there was no hope of recovering him : and that his Physicians had left him : yet by prescribing himselfe a strict Diet , and by duely observing what he had prescribed ; he even in his declining age became youthfull ; in his recreations fresh and cheerfull : and even to his death strong and healthfull . And yet he for all this died ( said my delicious Guest ) and tell me then what did his rules of Physick , availe him ? Go to , Sir , he that lives Physically , lives miserably ; let us cramme and feed our selves fat while wee live ; satisfy our desires in what wee love . So long as wee live in the World , let us enjoy with all freedom , the pleasures of the World. Abstinence suites better with an hermitage then a Pallace . Take so much paines one day as goe into a Monasterie ; and what will you find there , but , as Climacus observeth , Breathing Coarses ? their spirits wasted ; their radicall moisture with their Lampe-oyle consumed ; nothing left to present the resemblance of men , save only bare Sceletons , or fleshlesse Images of men ; and these so uselesse for Earth , as their sole devotions and designes are for Heaven . But leaving these , if you please but to take a turne or two in our Epicureall Cloisters : you shall find Creatures of a fresh and flourishing vigour ; of a strong and sinnowy temper : and such as promise a numerous supply to people the world ; defend the State : and restore nature . This discourse came with such confidence from him , as I had no mind to interrupt him . Yea , his advice wrought such impression on mee , as I begun to loath nothing more then temperance , and to love nothing better then delicacy . Thus begun I to loose the hopes of a better life , for enjoying the delights of this present life . O where was my reason to suffer my selfe to be deprived of joy eternally , for the pleasures of sinne so fraile , deceitfull and transitory . O my deare Lord , let mee now at last looke towards Canaan , and leave these flesh pots of Egypt . O suffer not my heart to be loaden with surfeting and drunkennesse : but arme mee with moderation and temperance . I know well Lord , how thou for my sake were 't afflicted with poverty ; and shall I in contempt of thee be affected to delicacy ? Nay , Lord ; I will chuse rather to perish with hunger , then by my excesse occasion thy dishonour . O be it my desire devoutly to serve thee by subduing of the flesh ; that I may raigne with thee by suffering no sinne to raigne in my flesh . CHAP. 54. Wrath. THe very next I took occasion to talke withall , was the most braving and imperious Guest that ever any one gave harbour to . For during those few dayes wherein hee had sojourned with mee , he begunne to keepe such a quarter , as if the whole house had beene at his command . Not a servant but shak't and shudder'd whensoever hee came in presence . So teechie and froward was his humour , that all things seemed in his judgement out of order . Thus did my whole family suffer through his fury . So as indeed , I had a great desire to quit my house of him : for daily did mine eares glow with complaints against him . No servant would stay with mee so long as hee remained with mee . All things grew out of joynt ; all things out of square . And now having resolved to put in speedy execution what I had intended ; I tooke the opportunity to acquaint him with my mind . But when I had told him , how my whole family grew weary of him : and that I might of necessity keepe my house alone , if I rid not my doores of him : Hee fell into such a furious passion , as I feared much he would have offered some violence to mee : but as good fortune was , his fury resolv'd it selfe into words : which were delivered in that braving and domineering manner ; as mee thought I begunne to take affection to that humour . For he told me , and that in such a scornefull way , as not a word came from him but it breathed contempt , or threatned a mischiefe , that if I thought hee was beholden to me for my entertainment , I was much deceived : for he held my entertainment so unworthy of him , as I might hold my selfe sufficiently contented that hee would accept of it . But Sir , said hee I must tell you , I cannot chuse but smile at your folly ; to see you thus over-aw'd and baffall'd by your own family . Your indiscreet patience , if you quicken not your temper , will ere it bee long , make you a Servant of a Master : and by their malepertnesse bring your command into a bondage . Your Neighbours too , they observe the quietnesse of your disposition ; and they play upon your easinesse . For shame , be of sharper mettall . Make your Servants tremble when they heare you : and enforce that commanding awe to your inferiours , that as if they heard thunder , they may blesse themselves , when they come neare you . Impunity opens a passage to all impiety ; if any commended or committed to your charge shall but lightly offend ; yet you must not be too indulgent in rendring a pardon . I hold it farre better , and for your state or condition fitter , never to debate the cause with mildnesse , for that tasteth of too much softnesse , but to strike before you speake ; to season your reproofe with correction , which will beget in you a reverence , and in them more subjection . This that Roman Vedius could doe bravely ; and in such an imperious sort exercise his Soveraignty : as his very becke was a word of command to all his family . And this while I was in Thebes ( for I am a Theban borne ) did I constantly practise ; and that not onely over such as I might command : but over such too , whose spirits I found so ready to vaile to one of my quality ; as I made them no lesse subject to my uncontrouled will , then if they had beene of my owne family . For during my reside in that famous City , none but I raised that fearefull fraternall emnity betwixt Eteocles and Polynices : which unnaturall contest ( so strongly had my fury wrought upon their spirits ) could receive no end , but in one anothers blood . Neither was it my humour to be confined : for I had dreamed a little before my departure thence , how with unfortunate Hecuba , I was conceived with a fire-brand , and that it could not bee quenched but in the blood of many nations . Neither did that ominous Dreame of mine prove false : for though with Cassandra's prophesie , it would not be believed , the fatall disasters of many flourishing Estates have before this time confirm'd it . For to omit the subversion of many ancient Empires ; whose memory now sleepes in dust , I appeale even to your selfe , by whose meanes those ruines were occasioned , and that lately amongst our Free States ? By whose agency those fearefull and fatall divisions sprung up in Calidore : where Religion made the pretence , but innovation of government plotted the ground . And who became the manager of those disloyall attempts but my selfe ? If then your desire bee , to be one of note or fame in the world ; observe my directions , admit of no reconciled foe into the list of your discourse . And if at any time you have received an injury , be it publike or private : if hee be your inferiour , or subject to your power , squeaze him : nippe him I say , so ith'head , as you may prevent him of all future hope of rising : but if he be your Superiour , and you not able to vye with him in power , over-vye him in policy ; faune on him ; yet still carry a stone in your bosome ; watch some opportunity wherein you may surprize him : but bee sure when you once have him in your clawes , to crush him . What matter makes it , though the jeering Lyricke call anger a short madnesse ; hee is in my opinion most mad , that is least angry : for a mild Master corrupts a family . Now , I would have you to skrue your passion to an higher pin . Anger is of too short continuance , it is not for your honour : give harbour then to Wrath , for that is an inveterate anger . This will make you so terrible to your foes ; as you shall easily worke your owne ends , by thriving there best , where you are feared most . This Discourse , though at first it distasted mee ; for how could it sound well in the care of reason , to heare one breake forth into the immerited praise of an immoderate passion ? yet the conceit of revenge wrought so strongly on my affection , that howsoever I opposed the premisses , I approved well of his Conclusion . O Lord terrible and just , what would become of me , if thou shouldst have my sinnes in thy remembrance , or shouldst punish mee in thy wrathfull displeasure ? and yet beare I a malicious heart to my Brother . Hee many times with many teares has besought my pardon : yet would not all these worke in mee any remorse or compassion . O looke downe upon mee with the eye of thy mercy ; remove from mee the spirit of fury ; and arme mee with the shield of patience and lenity . I know , Lord , thou hast commanded vs not to suffer the Sunne to goe downe upon our wrath ; and yet many Sunnes , nay many seasons have gone downe on my wrath . I slept securely , while wrath encompassed my bed : and revenge lay a pillow for my head . O thou mild Lambe , imprint the memory of thy example in the Tablet of mine heart ; make mee to love mine enemy ; and with a wise Virgin Lampe fed with the oyle of charity , follow thee my sweet Spouse , unto the heavenly Citie . CHAP. 55. Sloath. BVt amongst all others , who had liberally partak't of my bounty ; there was one , who so little deserv'd it , that in a carelesse security , as one respectlesse of any courtesie , hee would all the day long take his rest ; and scarcely rise without much adoe to take his necessary repast . And one day I chanc'd to find him , when all his Companions were addressing themselves to one exercise or another , turning or rather rowling himselfe in his bed , like a doore upon the hinges . So as , I begun to take him under hand , and to reprove him ; bidding him to shake off Sloath for shame , and prepare himselfe for some taske : lest in time he might incurre Margites censure , who , because hee neither digged , plowed , nor did any good thing all his time , was not onely barred all civile society living ; but was not admitted to have his ashes deposited in the Vrne of his Ancestors , dying . I desired to know further of him what content hee could take in groveling after that manner in his bed of security , while every creature according to his ranke or quality , discovered some token of their industry . And in a sluggish manner hee told mee ; how there was none , but at one time or other hee might thrive , provided that hee kept his shop ; Now , what did any one know but that it was his Calling to make his shop his bed : Neither was hee ( as hee impudently pretented ) unimployed , when hee seemed for rest most addicted . For that very morning , and no longer since , hee told mee that hee kept his bed , not so much for his owne case , as for composing a maine difference which two noble Ladies had referred to him . For there had lately appeared to him two brave women attired in princely habit , who contended much for superiority : and the names of these two Ladies were Euphuia and Argia . Now these , after such time as they had appeared before him , discovered both their Descents and Callings . For Euphuia , as she proved her selfe descended from an industrious family ; so shee shewed her selfe a true daughter , for shee was wonderfully given to industry . Whereas Argia was clear of another humor : for nothing suited better with her disposition , then to doe nothing . These two , accordingly as they stood severally affected , brake forth into commendations of what their natures stood most inclined to . Euphnia affirmed that nothing improved any ones private estate or countrey more then Industry . The other , with no lesse confidence spake all she could in praise of privacy , and a sleepy kind of security ; saying , how that was well got , that was got in a warme bed : and that Timandra purchas'd as much pleasure in the embrace of her friend , as ever Thalestris did in the discomfiture of her Foe . The other , to advance the honour of Armes with all other honest manuall employments , with much moderation reproved her frowardnesse ; telling her , that shee did but all this to shew her wit : for else shee would spend no breath in commending Sloath , which was the death of a living soule . But said he , so strangely did these two cloze in the knitting up of their arguments , as with mutuall consent , the difference was referred to me . Now , I am here consulting with my pillow , to whether of these two I should give the preheminence . Nor , doe I intend to rise , till I have composed the difference . Thus did my lazie Guest play the easie Arbitrator , desiring rather a nappe in a corner , then discharge the part of a Moderator : So as , I might easily conjecture , to what side hee inclined most , by his aversenesse from labour . And , indeed , I must freely confesse , I begunne not altogether to dislike his humour . For when hee had more fully acquainted mee with the quality of his condition : how and in what manner hee had ever lived ; how hee had shunned all publike employments : desiring rather a Writ of ease , then to dis-ease his owne quiet for anothers good . Againe , what a madnesse it was , to toyle or turmoile ones selfe in the world ; to have a sickle in anothers corne ; or to have an oare in every ones boat ? To be accounted a wise and subtile Commissioner ; and so spend his spirits about a fruitlesse or thankelesse labour ? To play the carking Husband , in gathering for a progeny of hopelesse Rake-hels ? To afflict himselfe in the hoording up of that ; which is got with paine and toyle , kept with care , and feare , and lost with pangs and griefe ? No , no ; said hee , let the world wagge , so I may enjoy my rest ; draw my Curtaines close ; take my morning nappe ; let the Husbandman meet with a Snake in the way ; Let the thirsty worldling play the Mole , digge and delve ; I shall rather pitty his folly , then envy his happinesse . This humour , the more I observed it , the more I affected it . So as I begunne to imitate my Guest , and to sing the Sluggards Lullabe , with yet a little , and then a little . And though poverty came so upon mee , yet the enjoyment of a little Summer made me forgetfull of an ensuing Winter . An hundred excuses would I mould , purposely to sleepe securely : and free my selfe of all busines , though it did never so nearely concerne mee . Either there was an Adder in the way ; or the weather was unseasonable ; or some indisposition to health , injoyned me to keepe my bed . Thus did my delicacy bring mee to security ; which howsoever I flatter'd my selfe , was so farre divided from me : as in the end I found my perplexed estate ever to danger most ingaged , where weaknesse of opinion dreamed to mee , that I was most secured . O my Lord , thou who art that heavenly Husbandman , that desirest nothing more then Labourers in thine Harvest ; and art ready to pay every Workeman his penny , though hee have but laboured one houre in thy Vineyard . Thou , who canst not abide that any one should looke backe from the Plough , or doe thy worke negligently ; Convert my sleepy and sluggish humour into a spirituall fervour . My too long security into a carefull practise of piety . That though my outward man , be but slime , my inward man may be a profest enemy to sloath . O grant mee so to bestow the remainder of my time in faithfull labouring ; that though I have not felt the heat of the day ; nay , though I have scarcely laboured one houre in thy Vineyard , I may now receive my penny in the Evening . CHAP. 56. How by their treacherous assault , his Cinque ports , became endangered . THus , thus became I poore Pilgrim assaulted ; thus became I foiled . But why doe I inveigh against their treachery , I became to my selfe the most treacherous Enemy ? For by yeelding my Fort to the spirit of Pride , my Luciferian glory grew darkned . By entertaining Covetousnesse my former content vanished . By cherishing Luxury , both mine inward and outward faculties were disabled . By feeding Envy , it became a feeder of mee , and so my spirits became wasted . By cockering Gluttony , my spirituall infirmities were strengthned . By harbouring Wrath , charity the choicest comfort of Christian society was banished . By fostering Sloath , out of my great Masters check-roule , became my name to be razed . Neither were these unthankfull Guests so contented ; for by their treacherous attempts , became my Cinque ports endangered . So as , those darlings of mine which had they been loyally affected , should have beene my assistants , proved to be my private Assacinates . Not one of them but they failed in performing those due offices to which they were deputed . My eye , indeed , knew how to look , but by wandring it corrupted my understanding with the thought of lust . My eare knew how to heare , but by hearing amisse it distracted the intention of mine heart . My nostrils knew how to smell , but by rejecting those flowers of divine sweetnesse , I begunne to snuffe up the wind with the wild Asse in the wildernesse . My touch knew how to performe her office , but by touching uncleane things , or by using cleane things uncleanely , that sense became slaved to all sensuality . My mouth became an open Sepulcher ; mine Heart sinnes Harbour . Thus fares it with the State spirituall , as it doth with the Politicall ; if the Cinque Ports bee opened , the State becomes endangered ; lesse secured , because to Invasion more exposed . What then could this poore razed Fort of my surprized soule expect but utter ruine , misery and desolation ? Foes wrought on mee without : and feares seazed on mee within . I had none left to comfort mee : for my best comfort I had deservingly estranged from mee ; For had I not with Demas left God for the world , I might have had God for my Friend , and consequently all the creatures of the world . For to leave God , is to make every creature his foe , which ever God made . O , was it not enough for thee to have others to betray thee , but thou must adde new strength to their force , by betraying thy selfe unto thine Enemy ? Hadst thou tasted so freely of that ever streaming fountaine of Gods mercy ; and was it thy duty to recompence his bounty with thy disloyaltie ? This had beene great inhumaniry even to have shewne to the most low and despicable creature : and couldst thou find in thine heart , to offer this abuse unto thy Maker ? O woe is mee , that I should receive all good things from the Lord , and requite him with nothing but evill ! O that I had ponder'd these things well in mine heart : so might I in the day of my trouble have found helpe : and received comfort in the day of wrarh . O my deare Lord , justly may I complaine , and in the bitternesse of my soule , cry out : Sinners have built upon me : nay , they have made deepe furrowes upon my backe . And there is no health in mee because of thine heavy displeasure . O , though I bee a Sinner , bee not unmindfull of thy poore creature . Receive mee , O receive mee into the armes of thy mercy ; while I confesse unto thee , who knowest the secrets of all thoughts , my iniquity ? There is not one sense that thou hast given mee , but I will declare unto thee how it has dishonour'd thee . O thou Balme of Gilead , heale my wounds , for they are many ! CHAP. 57. Sight . LOoke on mee , and pitty mee , when you shall heare how this sense has deluded me ! And take warning by my Example , that yee suffer not your Dinahs to wander , lest they lose their honour . This sense which should direct mee , did first intrap mee : for I no sooner beheld , then I was held captive by that which I beheld . Neither was I altogether senselesse of these things : for I understood how Death enter'd in by the windowes . And yet I would not shut them , but suffer'd my mortall enemies to enter in by them . Nor a concupiscence but by those unguarded portels received admittance . Our Grandham Eve to our shame and losse , saw that the fruit was pleasant , and shee tooke of the fruit and tasted of it . This apple remaines still in the eye , and must continue an eye-sore to all her posterity . Thus have our Fathers eaten sowre grapes , and their Childrens teeth are set on edge . O how often have I resolved with my selfe ( but as in all things else , how weak are mens resolves ? ) to shut these gates against all temptations : and on that Object never to fixe my sight , that might give any Inlet to sinne : or to looke on that intentively , which I might not desire safely . And to strengthen this resolve , I thought upon some wholesome meditation , the memory whereof I had good hope would keepe those lights within mee : and not suffer them to bee taken up by any worldly vanity . But no sooner gave time and place opportunity , then those weake resolves were quite razed : the thoughts of goodnesse discarded ; piety became a Stranger to me : for corruption had seazed on mine heart , and render'd up her Hold unto the Enemy . O how happy had I beene ; had I in my youth repelled those distemper'd heates which my wanton eye first infused ! But so farre was I from repenting of what my youth had committed : as now my riper yeares are not ashamed to reteine a delight in the remembrance of what my youth affected . And what more hard to cure , then an old Vlcer , an aged sore ? O yee treacherous Spies , why have yee thus wandred about to seeke my undoing ? what gaine may yee reape by my perdition ? Is there no end of your fury ; nay , of your madding folly ? O remember , how for these beautifull sights which you have presented to mee : and wherewith you have deceived mee ; ougly and gastly Spectacles shall torment both you and mee . For you , and none but you , moved mee so unjustly to covet my Neighbours field , because it was fruitfull . And to hunt after the strange woman , because shee was beautifull . Your Presentments made mee in all things sensuall . Thus by bitter experience have I found how by the Countenance piety became hindered ; by the eyes , chastity became harmed . O my deare Saviour , looke upon mee , who have lost my selfe by looking and longing after what was unlawfull for me . O though I be not worthy by lifting up mine eyes to Heaven , to pray unto thee : yet am I not unworthy by blinding mine eyes with teares , to weepe before thee . O doe not turne away thine eyes from mee ! I am wholly lost if thou despise mee ; but I shall renue as the feathers of an Eagle , if thou vouchsafe but to looke upon mee . O may my delight be in thy Law ; my Object thy Crosse ; my conscience my feast ; Righteousnesse my Crown . CHAP. 58. Hearing . VVOuld any one thinke , that man the noblest of Gods creatures ; nay , to whom hee has given dominion over all his creatures ; man , I say , endued with a reasonable soule , should make that sense which was given him for edification , the instrument of his perdition ? And yet behold the Man , with a sense accompanying and corrupting Man ! Faith commeth by Hearing ; And yet how have I broken my faith by Hearing ? I had sometimes vowed , though not my selfe , yet by such as undertooke for mee , that I would forsake the Devill and his Workes , with the pomps and vanities of the flesh ; but where was my performance ? Have I not defamed my Neighbour ; or heard him defamed ? And what have I answered for him ? nay , have I not delighted in hearing him defamed , or inlarged his disgrace with some new reproach ? Have I enter'd Gods Temple , the House of the most High , with a sanctified eare ? Nay , have I not come thither rather to traduce , then usefully heare ? Have I not laboured to catch at this doctrine ? Or admit I came there with an Heart prepared for devotion : and with an eare ready to receive instruction : did not the Eye practise with the Heart to surprize the Eare : and by that meanes decline it from doing what it intended ; by giving eare to that which might distract it ? Nay , let mee come a little nearer thee , thou loose , dissolute and unprepared Eare. Hast thou heard so much as a Psalme in the Church without distraction ? Did not those sweet ayres of spirituall devotion so farre transport thee ; that thou gavest better eare to the note how sweetly it was sung , then to the end for which it was sung ? Didst not take more delight in the voyce then the matter ; and by that meanes in the eare of thy Maker , become an unfitting Quirister ? Didst thou not by breaking a Note to please thy fancy , conceive more content in the melody of the voyce , then purity of the heart ? Nay , didst not preferre the very measure or composure of it , before his honour for which it was penned ? nay , has not God spake unto thee in a Psalme , and thou unto him ; yet didst thou consider whose Psalme it was , or for whom it was , when thou didst sing it to him ? Againe , shall wee leave the Church , and goe into the world ? Tell mee , O tell mee , how didst thou there employ thine hearing ? Didst not take infinite delight in a filthy song ? Did not a wanton light tune bring thee to thinke of thy light Mistresse ? or did it not suggest to thee some loose thoughts provoking fancy : or some other heavy melancholly thoughts egging thee on to some desperate act of revenge or fury ? O yes ! Thus didst thou employ it ; and thus didst thou perish by it . How then should'st thou come to bee instructed , having beene by thy best instructing sense , thus wofully distracted ? By thee , my blessed Master , doe I hope to be instructed : that the follies of my youth may bee at last reformed . O sanctifie the Eare of mine heart , that I may turne it away from vanity ; turne it wholly unto piety . O let mee bee no such Hearer as is the deafe Adder , which stoppeth her eares , charme the Charmer never so wisely . O let me be none of those , who will not heare , because they would not understand ; nor of those who heare , but will not understand ; nor of those who heare , but will not observe what they both heare and understand : but give mee an humble Eare to heare , and a conceiving heart to understand what I heare , that hearing humbly , understanding fully , and practising faithfully , I may sing alleluia to thee in the Kingdome of glory . CHAP. 59. Smell . MVst that fresh and fragrant Garden of all divine graces ; with all those precious odours of Christian vertues and holy duties be abandoned : those saintly examples of devout and religious men bee neglected ; and instead of these must those hatefull weeds of vices be cherished ; which , were they disposed of as they deserve , are for no other use then to be throwne over the wall of Gods Seed-plot , or to be burned ? Must that inclosed Garden , I say , embrodered and beautified with all spirituall flowers be plowed up by wild beasts of the Forest ? Must those red Roses of charity , those white Lillies of chastity , those sweet violets of humility lose their beauty ? Have those constant Martyrs , chaste Virgins , and humble Confessors deserved no reverence , nor imitation from thee ? Must their memory sleepe in the dust , and have no followers after death ? O consider , how all these deceiving pleasures of this world , are but like Beane-flowers ; when you are farre from them ; they smell sweet unto you ; but when you draw neare them , they distaste you . The pleasures of sinne ever cloze with an heavie surfet . But returne unto thy selfe , and see how thou hast employed this sense ! It is but a little one , and yet it has an Office to attend ; which neglected , it must bee accountable and receive due punishment . Come then , and tell mee what thou hast done ! Hast thou followed thy sweet Saviour in the smell of his sweet oyntments ? Hast thou followed him , though a farre off , to his Crosse ? Hast thou sought to bee embalmed with his odours ? Hast thou lived as hee prescribed : or loved that which he professed ? O no ; thou in the Garden slept , while hee prayed ; Thou in the Hall stood warming thy selfe , while hee was condemned ; thou scarcely durst approach the Mount where hee suffered : and was this to follow him in the smell of his sweet oyntments , and in his sufferings to be comforted ? His blessed life was as a bundle of myrrhe ; the whole course of his conversation , a spirituall confection . Every action , our instruction . And how were thy feet prepared to follow him ? O slowly , too too slowly : Thou hadst either a Father to bury ; or a Wife to marry ; or a yoake of oxen to try ; or a Farme to buy . Some excuse or other must be pretended ; long may his Feast bee prepared , and often maist thou bee invited , before thou be ready to come unto it ; and when thou commest , twenty to one , thou art excluded , because thou hast not on thy wedding garment , without which never looke to bee entertained . O but tell mee , what was it that first hindered thee to follow the savour of his sweet oyntments , who so truly lov'd thee , as hee gave himselfe up unto death , to save thee ? O it was the smel of worldly gaine that divided thee from him ; or the love of honour or pleasure that made thee a stranger to him . O who then will bring thee to him , seeing what hee hated most , divorc'd thee from him ! O none but thy selfe , deare Saviour ; O draw me after thee , and I will follow thee . O too much hold has the present world had in mee : the cares whereof tooke mee quite from thee . Let it henceforth have no interest in mee , that I may bee wholly possessed of thee : O inflame mine heart with a love of thee , that I may live with thee : for live I cannot , unlesse I enjoy thee . And since I cannot live here , and see thee ; let mee dye , that I may see thee . CHAP. 60. Taste . ADams posterity had beene blessed , had hee only seene the fruit , and never tasted . O how sweet is the taste of sinne to the palat ; but how cold in the stomacke ? Though it shew a cheerfull welcome , it ever leaves us with a sad farewell . Thou hast had a free and full taste of this , unhappy Pilgrim , in preferring a messe of pottage before an inheritance . In feeding so greedily on the Huskes of vanity ; and preferring them before those wholesome Viands in thy fathers family . Yet what were all these compared to those spirituall dainties , that incorruptible food , but as chaffe to wheat , branne to bread , Onions and Garlicke of Egypt to the heavenly Manna ? yet behold my misery ! Though I daily observed how the world was full of troubles , perplexities , tumults and confusions ; how such onely had the best part in it , who had the least to doe in it : how the Great One had ever some Corrivall to oppose him : the little one had some Great One to crush him . How honour , like Hamans halter , brought the unhappy Enjoyer of it unto ruine . How Greatnesse pretending priviledge for guiltinesse , brought the Land to mourning . How there was nothing in the world but shouldring one another ; labouring to advance themselves even by their nearest friends dishonour . How the world was an empty Sponge ; outwardly flourishing : fruitlesly promising ; rarely prospering . How it was wholly set on mischiefe : and how there was none that did good , no not one . How there was a world of men : but a wildernesse of good men . How many times vertue bare vices livery : While vice became so innocently cloathed , as it past current for downe right honesty . Yet though I say , I considered these things ; I never treasured them in mine heart . I went along with the multitude : for my taste , it was so inured to sinne , as I tooke most delight in that which impoysoned my soule . My liquorish taste , my luscious tooth brought mee to fare deliciously with the rich Glutton : and to carouse deeply in Balthasars cups . I feared no more the deluge of sinne , then those before the Flood did that deluge of waters before it came . O consider then , thou ungracious sense , seeing every one must bee punished , wherein hee has been delighted , what shal thy portion be in the Lake , where every impenitent sinner is to receive the wages of his mis-spent life ? Woe is me , who will deliver me , or take thee off from accusing me ? Even thou , my gracious Redeemer ; who , as thou hast discovered to mee how bitter the world is ; wilt bring mee to taste and see how sweet the Lord is . O lead mee forth to thy greene pastures , neare those Rivers of sweet waters , where J may taste of the fulnesse of thy pleasures , and drinke of those heavenly waters for evermore . CHAP. 61. Touch. SOme things were not to be touched for their exceeding sanctity and holinesse : other things were not to be touched for their impurity and uncleannesse . The Arke was not to bee be touched , because of its holinesse : and Pitch is not to bee touched because of its uncleannesse . Evill conversation is a spirituall infection . There be sundry evill concupiscences , which though they touch not the outward faculties of the body , yet they touch the very life and well-being of the Soule . Which though they wound , yet are the wounds to a worldling so infinitely pleasing , as nothing delights him more then to bee wounded : nothing displeaseth him more then to be cured . The fish Torpedo is the very Embleme of the world . Shee is ever sure to take him , by whom she is taken . Some things wee shall every where meet withall , which for their pollution beare in their fore-head this Prohibition : Looke not , taste not , touch not , handle not . Least the eye of the soule become blemished ; the whole inward man infected ; the powers or faculties of the intellectuall part wholly disordered . But how hast thou , poore miserable Pilgrim , observed this Lesson ? How hast thou employed this peculiar sense , but to satisfie thy concupiscence ? Easie it was for any one , if they touched thee never so gently , to move thee to passion : but not so easie it was for any object of charity to touch thy bowels of compassion . Long might poore sicke Lazarus lye at thy Gate , before thou wer 't touched with remorse , or moved with pitty to relieve him . Long might that way-faring man lye wounded by the way side , before thou were 't touched , as that tender hearted Samaritan was , to minister least comfort to him . O how insensible were 't thou of poore Iosephs misery ! but how quickly touched at the least smart which fame or fortune might dart on thee ! nor was it any wonder , thou insensate sense , that thou shouldst grow thus obdurate ; seeing thy Chambering and Wantonnesse , thy spirituall Fornication and Drunkennesse ; thy trampling of Gods word under feet ; thy murmuring and discontent in every estate ; thy partiall and corrupt love to thy selfe , made thee wholly forgetfull of all others but thy selfe . Meane time , thou little knew how thou were 't thine owne Enemy ; in not seeking to cure that mortall infirmity : which by processe of time became so much more incurable , as thou of thine owne malady were 't grown insensible . For , howsoever they seemed to cherish thee , and so delude thee , these were Ismalites , thy mortall enemies , who sported with thee . Thus have I loosely rioted , and fearefully transgressed in the abuse of every sense : and by obeying the lusts of the flesh , hatefully sinned against mine owne own soule . Deare Lord , thou who breathest the spirit of life into every living soule ; and from whom if thou take away thy breath , they dye . Breath into my soule new affections ; rectifie my disordered and mis-employed Senses . O give unto mee , thou invisible light , such a sight as may see thee . Create in me a new smell , O thou breath of life , that I may runne after thee in the smell of thy sweet oyntments cheerfully . Heale thou my taste that I may taste , know and discerne how great is the multitude of thy sweetnesse , O Lord , which thou hast laid up in thy heavenly Treasury , for those who are full of thy charity . Sanctifie thou mine eare , that it may bee edified by thee : and so direct it , that my heart may be inflamed by it , to the practise of piety . Quicken my touch , with compassion to thy little ones : and so order every Sense that they may perform their proper offices to the good both of my soule and body : making it ever their absolutest ayme to promote thy glory . CHAP. 62. Being thus encompassed with danger , hee prepares himselfe for prayer . VVHat Sanctuary have I now to retire to : or what Refuge may I fly to , when I have nothing within mee , but practiseth rather to betray mee then free me : nothing without mee , that may any way availe mee , now when dangers of all sorts , and on all sides thus encompasse me ? O my good God , I have one in readinesse , for thou hast prepared it for mee ; and by it shall I in due time receive comfort from thee . The direction is short and soveraigne " If any bee afflicted , let him pray ; and if hee be merry , let him sing Psalmes . I am afflicted , Lord ; I am inwardly afflicted , I will therefore take the wings of the morning , and fly with the Dove , till I may find some resting place for the soale of my foot : till I may bring an Olive-branch in my bill , and so bring glad tydings to my poore Soule , that the floods of waters are returned backe : which have not onely for many dayes , but many years encompassed me . Those bitter waters of Marah ; those swelling floods of affliction which have gone over my Soule . In the old world , when Noahs Arke was builded , and all the inhabitants of the earth to the number of eight reduced : fifteene cubits onely did the waters prevaile upward , and covered the Mountaines . But the waters of my affliction have mounted higher : they have bound in my soule ; and brought her downe to the depths . High time then is it to fly for succour : lest the water-floods swallow mee up : and the remembrance of mee bee no more : I will direct therefore my Prayer unto God ; for hee is a God of mercy and all consolation : he will take pitty of my affliction ; and in his appointed time rid me of all my feares . But alas , though I know the way where comfort is to bee received , and the doore of the Sanctuary be open to receive mee in it : yet so long have I estranged my selfe from it : and so unacquainted am I with the exercise of Prayer , as I know not in what forme or manner to make it . For when I looke upon my selfe , and consider how luke-warme has beene my conversation , how earthly my affection , how feigned my confession , how short and rare my compunction , how my obedience has been without devotion , my prayer without intention , my reading without edification , my speech without circumspection ; I grow ashamed of my condition : acknowledging nothing to bee due unto mee , but reproach and confusion . For when at any time I pray , I mind not what I pray , nor to whom I pray ; how may I then hope for any helpe from him to whom I pray , or that my prayer shall bee heard by him , seeing I my selfe doe not heare my selfe in the prayer , which I make unto him ? The pretious stone Diacletes , though it have many rare and excellent properties in it , yet it loseth them all if it be put in a dead mans mouth : So Prayer , which is the only soveraigne pearle and Iewell of a Christian , though it have many rare and exquisite vertues in it , many promises conferred on it ; yet it loseth them every one , if it be put into a mans mouth , or into a mans heart either , that is dead in sinne , and doth not knock with a pure heart . For Prayer without devotion is like the bellowing of Oxen. O where am I then , whose imaginations have beene evill from my youth ; whose life has beene a sinke of sinne ; and whose heart has beene a stranger to devotion ? how and in what manner may I pray in hope to be heard ? how shall I render up my Supplication , that it may be received ? how shall I offer my Sacrifice of thanksgiving , that it may be accepted ? O my deare Lord , as thou hast taught me to pray , so teach mee how to pray . Put sweet incense into the Censor , and that it may burne the better , inflame my heart with spirituall fervor . Behold , Lord , I fly unto thee , open the doore of thy Sanctuary unto mee , that I may enter and offer up my prayer to thee , after that absolute forme of prayer which thou thy selfe hast taught 〈◊〉 . CHAP. 63. He repeats the Lords prayer ; and in every particular he finds himselfe a great Offender . OVr Father which art in heaven . — Oh make a stoppe here ( poore Pilgrim ) before thou goest any farther ! Hast thou a Father in Heaven ? where is the duty thou shouldst tender ? Dost thou use him like a Father ; much lesse like an heavenly Father , when thou preferrest the pleasures of sin before his honour ? Hallowed bee thy name . — Oh with what tongue canst thou utter hallowed , seeing his name hath been by thee so much dishonoured ? Thy Kingdome come . — O shake and tremble ! fearefull to thee will bee the comming of his Kingdome , seeing thou by ascribing to thy selfe what was due unto him , shalt bee accused of seeking to rob him of his Kingdome . When the foundation of the earth shall be shaken ; the whole world dissolved : and thou brought forth naked , to be publikely judged . Thy will be done — Oh dissembling wretch , dost thou pray that his Will may be done , when thou never yet with thy Will didst that which thou shouldst have done : nor what thou knewest well was his Will to be done ? In Earth as it is in Heaven . And yet has it beene the least of thy care on Earth , to doe his will , as it is done in heaven . Give us this day our daily bread . — Oh has he not granted thy suite ? has he not strengthned thee with the staffe of bread . But hast thou walked in the strength thereof to his honour : or requited him with an offering of his owne , by sowing thy bread upon the waters ? And forgive us our trespasses . — Oh they are many ! many in quantity ; heavy in quallitie : yet as a sparke in the Sea , so has hee drowned them in the Ocean of his mercy . As wee forgive them that trespasse against us . — O consider well the particle of this petition ! examine thine heart , whether thou hast or no performed the condition . Thou desirest but to be forgiven as thou dost forgive : oh forgive then , that thou maiest bee forgiven ! Few be the areeres which thou canst demand of thy Brother , in comparison of those which are owing by thee to thy Maker . And lead us not into temptation . And yet thou wilt not stick to lead thy selfe into temptation . He is ready to bestow his grace upon thee ; to send his Holy Spirit to guide thee ; to spread his Banner over thee : yet while thou prayest not to bee led into temptation , thou willingly leadest thy selfe into that , which thou in thy prayer desirest to prevent . But deliver us from evill . — Oh how many deliverances has he shewn unto thee ? How often has hee snapped in pieces the Speare which might have dispatched thee . Broken those Arrowes which might have wounded thee ? Taken thy foot out of the snare which had intrapped thee ? Nay , how often hast thou gone downe even unto the gates of Hell , and least thou shouldst enter in , he with-held thee ? How often hast thou drawne neare even to the gates of death , and lest they should take thee in , hee preserv'd thee ? Thus hath hee delivered thee from all evill : and yet for all this good which hee has done thee , thou hast requited him with evill . And now thou concludest : For thine is the Kingdome , power and glory ; for ever and ever , Amen . Oh how ready thou art here to acknowledge his power , and yet to deny it in thy life ? But confesse thou must his power not onely with mouth , but heart , and practise of a good life , if ever thou meanest to partake with him in the Kingdome of glory . O my sweet Saviour , as thou hast taught mee by this absolute forme of Prayer ; how I am to make my prayer : and hast promised to grant me my request , if I pray effectually as I ought : so kindle in my heart true devotion , tbat no place may be left for distraction : Here thou hast taught how and in what manner I am to pray , O let me not lose the benefit of it , by losing my selfe when I pray . CHAP. 64. He renders a private account of his Faith : and in every article of the Creede , hee finds a fainting , failing , weaknesse and want . I Beleeve in God ; the father Almighty , maker of heaven and earth . This first Article of our Beliefe was made by Christs first Apostle Saint Peter . And herein thou professest that thou believest : But that is not enough ; The Devils doe beleeve and tremble . Thou must not onely believe God , but believe in God : and that he is thy God. Againe , thou art not only to believe God ; and believe in God , but solely love God : and wholly live to God. For as wee are to believe with heart unto righteousnesse ; and confesse with mouth unto salvation : so are we to bring forth fruits hereof in an holy and blamelesse conversation . O how much hast thou failed in the first , what then may wee looke for at the last ? And in Iesus Christ his onely Sonne our Lord. Of this second Article was Saint Iohn the Evangelist Author : one , who was right deare in the eyes of his Master , our blessed Saviour : and one , who leaned on his bosome , at his last Supper . And here thou confessest Iesus Christ , the second person in the blessed Trinity , to be the Sonne of God ; & to be our Lord. But hast thou by a contrite heart & regenerate life made him thy Lord ? Thou saist , thou dost beleeve in him , but dost thou love him in whom thou believest ? And how shouldst thou be lesse then his Lover ; so long as thou beleev'st him to be thy saviour ? But wher be any Signes of this love ? O if thou didst truly love him in whō thou believ'st , thou wouldst rather leave to live , then leave to love him in whom thou believest ! Which was conceived by the Holy Ghost , borne of the Virgin Mary . This third Article S. Iames the Greater , composed ; whereby thou art taught to beleeve , all sanctification to be included in his Conception ; all humility in his Nativity . But dost thou , as every Christian should do , seriously consider , for whose sake this Virgin was conceived ; for whose sake thy sweet Saviour became so humbled ? that the Son of God should become the son of Man , that the Son of Man might become the son of God ? that the immortall should become mortall ? that the mortall might become immortall ? that the living Lord should dye , that the dying man might live ? that the free should become bound , that the bound might become free ? that God should descend from heaven to earth , that he might draw us from earth to heaven ? that God should become humbled ; that Man might be exalted ? that He should become poore , that we might be enriched ? and reckoned amongst the transgressors , that we amōgst his Saints might be numbred ? Hast thou , I say , meditated of this ; how he was borne for thee ; that thou mightst be re-borne in him ? O I feare thou hast beene more ready to partake of this benefit , then by acknowledgeing it , to bee thankefull for it ! Suffered under Pontius Pilat , was crucified , dead and buried . This fourth Article Saint Andrew framed : wherein thou seest , and perhaps , admirest the unjust proceedings of a wicked Iudge : for thou hearest one , and that an odious and malicious one , pronouncing the sentence of death upon the Lord of life : and inclining to the voice and vote of the people , delivering a murdring delinquent , to murder the innocent . Nay , pronouncing a sentence against his owne Conscience : for hee washed his hands but not in innocence . Againe , thou hearest and beleevest that hee was crucified ; and yet it grieves thee not to crucifie him afresh with new sinnes . Thou beleevest that hee died and was buried : and yet thou daily diest not to sin , but in sin ; and hast now , not three dayes , but many yeares laine buried in them . He descended into hell . This fifth Article Saint Philip added ; and thou beleevest in it . He descended that thou mightst ascend to the place whereto hee is ascended . Yet where be there any tokens of thy desire to ascend unto him ? Ascend unto him thou canst not , unlesse thou descend into thy selfe , for whom he so humbly descended . The third day he rose againe from the dead . This sixt Article Saint Thomas annexed : An Article proper for Thomas , who touching Christs Resurrection , was so incredulous . And here thou seest that late crucified man , now acquit himselfe of death , like a victorious Lord. And hence thou rejoycest : but unlesse thou rise from sinne , and live to righteousnesse , Christs Resurrection shall afford thee small comfort in the bed of thy sicknesse . Hee ascended into heaven , and sitteth on the right hand of God , the father Almighty . This seventh Article Saint Bartholomew penned . And by this thou beleevest that hee is now ascended , who for thy sake descended . And as from his rising came the hope of thy Resurrection : so from his ascending the hope of thy glorification . But thou must rise with him , before thou canst reigne with him : rise with him who was free from all sin , from the Grave of sin , that thou maist reigne with him who dyed for thy sin , in his heavenly Sion . And as hee sitteth on the right hand of God the father Almighty , where he offers up his prayers for thee , sheweth those glorious scars of his precious wounds to his Father for thee , & performs the faithfull office of a loving Mediator for thee ; So art thou in thy prayers to remember the necessity of his Saints upon earth . But cold is thy charity in performing such a duty . From whence he shall come to judge both the quick and the dead . This eight Article was by S. Matthew published : and by this thou believest , how he who was judged unjustly shall judge the whole world in Equity . For the Father judgeth none , but hath given up this judgement unto his Son , in whose brest are laid up all the treasures of wisdome and knowledge : And this thou beleevest and tremblest : and reason thou hast to tremble : for how shalt thou be able to stand in his presence , before whom even the heavens are uncleane ? O when the righteous shall scarcely be saved , what wil become of the wicked ? when the axe of his judgement shall not spare the greene tree , what will become of the dry ? O nothing but woe , woe may befall thee miserable delinquent , if hee deale not with thee in mercy but in judgement ! I believe in the Holy Ghost . This ninth Article Saint Iames the lesse delivered . And thou art taught to believe thus much by it : that the Holy Ghost the third person in the blessed Trinity , is the Spirit of comfort , truth and unity : without which it is impossible to please God. For as hee promised unto his Apostles a Comforter , so in the shape of a Dove , and in the forme of cloven tongues there appeared unto them this promised Comforter . But how is it that thou beleevest in the Holy Ghost : and yet with thine hardnesse of heart , and loosenesse of life grievest the Holy Spirit of God ? Thus to beleeve , if thou be not penitent ; will rather bee a meanes to draw on thee , then remove from thee Gods heavy judgement . The holy Catholike Church . This tenth Article of faith Saint Simon founded . But how dost thou beleeve the holy Catholike Church , or how is thy faith grounded , if thou observe not what the Church has commanded ? How canst thou bee a Member of her , so long as thou livest divided from her ? Or how canst thou truly call her Mother , so long as thou hearknest not to her commands , but becommest disobedient to her ? O then , by a right faith knit thy selfe unto her : or else disclaime thy being a Member of her . But looke unto it : for God thou canst not have for thy Father , unlesse thou have his Church for thy Mother . Neither canst thou ever hope to bee a Citizen in his Church triumphant , unlesse thou bee first a Member of his Church Militant . The Communion of Saints , the forgivenesse of sinnes . To this eleventh Article is Saint Iudas Thadaeus intitled . And this Communion of Saints thou beleevest ; and for the forgivenesse of sinnes thou lookest . And yet thou livest not , as if thou desired to bee of this Communion . Neither rendrest thou any such fruits of repentance , as may cherish in thee , the least hope of Remission . The Resurrection of the body , and the life everlasting . Amen . With this last Article Saint Mathias closeth our Creed , . And by it thou beleevest that thy body shall rise againe from the dust : and that thy soule shall live with the just . But hast thou not fed thy Body too delicately , to rise againe to glory ? Hast thou not taken too much pleasure in sinning , ever to enjoy life everlasting . O thou blessed Trinity in unity , and Vnity in Trinity ; thus have I made a confession of my Faith unto thee , but my many faintings , failings , wants , weaknesses and imperfections greatly discourage mee , unlesse thou in thy mercy strengthen me . I beleeve , Lord , O helpe my unbeleefe . Give mee the shield of faith ; that here on earth I may acquit my selfe like a valiant Champion : and in Heaven be made by thee a triumphant Citizen . CHAP. 65. Having thus examined himselfe , and found in the whole course of his life , a fainting in faith , and failing in Works ; He recalleth to mind those Quatuor Novissima , or foure last Remembrances ; Memorials hourely necessary for all Christians . THus hast thou laid thy selfe open to all discovery : and there is no good thing to bee found in thee . For in thy faith , thou hast found a fainting and weaknesse : and in all thy workes a failing and barrennesse . Most freely went that blessed Father to worke ( and no lesse dangerous has beene thy walke ) when hee confessed himselfe in this sort . Iinherit sin from my father , an excuse from my mother , lying from the Devill , folly from the world , selfe-conceit from the pride and arrogant opinion of my selfe . Deceitfull have beene the imaginations of thine heart , crooked have beene thy wayes : malicious thy workes . And yet hast thou taken the judgements of God in thy mouth . Desiring nothing more then to blind the eye of the world with a counterfeit zeale . But all such Hypocrites God will judge . Hee will not be mocked with . For as the Divell has his sive , with which hee lets goe the good ; but keepeth the bad : So the Lord has his Fanne , by which he lets goe the bad , and keepeth the good . O when hee shall separate his goats from his sheepe ; his wheat from his tares ; when the Iust and the Wicked shall appeare before him : and every man shall be put into the ballance ; O I feare mee then , thou wilt bee found many graines too light ! It were well for thee then , to prepare thy selfe against that great and fearefull day . And to furnish thee all the better , by making thee a true Convert , of an impenitent Sinner , recall to mind those Quatuor Novissima ; or Foure last Remembrances : Memorials hourely to bee thought ; and so necessary to be reteined in thy memory , as the Christian use of them may prepare thee before Death summon thee ; and in this vale of misery fit thee for thine heavenly voyage to eternity . And yet while I speake thus unto thee , I find thy condition to be wofull : for if thou consider them , the very thought of them cannot chuse but startle thee : and if thou neglect them , thou wilt stand in amaze , when they encounter thee . O my deare Lord remember me in thy mercy ; and so prepare my memory ; that these Foure necessary Remembrances may never depart from me . Let mee be prepared for Death , before it come , that it may never take mee unprepared whensoever it shall come . Let mee thinke of that fearefull day of Iudgement ; and judge my selfe before I be judged , that J may not be found light in thy scale , when I shall be weighed . Let me , O let me thinke , how there is an Hell for the damned ; for better is it by timely fearing it , to avoid it : then by never dreaming of it , head-long to fall into it . Lastly , let mee thinke of Heaven , how it is the place of the Blessed : and that none but those that are of a cleane heart shall dwell in it . O cleanse thou mine heart , that I may bee prepared for it , and with much spirituall joy be received in it . CHAP. 66. Death . IT is strange that Death should bee such a stranger to thee , when hee so daily visits those that neighbour neere thee . Thou hast beene familiarly acquainted with many , whose habitation is not now to bee found ; who have enjoyed the pleasures of sinne freely ; Others , who have inlarged their Barnes and store-houses carefully ; others , who have ruffled in their honours highly : and could deliver a Word of Command bravely : and now behold how all these being arrested at Deaths suit , were enforced to veile to his surly command ! They have made their Beds in the darke . They have left their Houses unto others ; they are gone unto their Graves , and must not returne againe . Their substance they have left unto others : and strangers are become their Heires . They are rooted out from the face of the earth : and now they consider the vanity of their desires : how they who lay land to land while they were here , find now what a small scantling has suffic'd them in this their returne to their last home . Poore shell of corruption , what dost thou thinke of these things ? I know well , that great revenues , swelling honours , smiling pleasures are dangerous , and fearefull eye-sores to a dying man. He lookes back upon his Honours , and askes of them , if they cannot relieve him : but like false hearted Reteiners , they fly from him , and present their service to another : so quickly have they forgot their dying Master . Hee looks backe then upon his Revenues , those household Gods of his , his inchisted treasures , and askes of them , if they cannot redeeme them : But alas , they have no such power : these reserve themselves for his prodigall Successour , or succeeding Rioter : they were so poorly used and employed by him , as they have quickly forgot their dying Master . At last he looks back upon his pleasures , unhappy pleasures , which now torment him more then ever they did delight him ; and he askes them , if they can allay his paine , or any way succour him : but alas , they soone leave him , for they find nothing in him nor about him that may entertaine them . An easie farewell then have these taken of their dying Master . But thou , poore Pilgrim , hast no honours to transport thee ; no fortunes to detaine thee ; no pleasures to ensnare thee ? For the first , the count'nance of greatnesse never shone upon thee ; for the second , worldly wealth could never yet so burden thee : and for the last , though thy youth might affect them , the infirmities of age have now estrang'd them from thee . And yet the voyce of death is more terrible to thee then the noise of a Canon . No note more dolefull ; no summons more fearefull . And in this thou art not much to bee blamed : for Death is fearefull to all flesh . But so to plaint thine hopes on Earth ; as if thou mightst never goe from earth ; nor returne to earth ; albeit , thou canst find nothing on earth worthy to entertaine thee , is the unhappiest condition that may befall thee . O thinke then of that time , even now while thou hast time , when thy soule , poor languishin soule , finding thy eyes shut , thy mouth closed , and all those senses of thy body perished , by which shee used to goe forth , and be delighted in these outward things whereto shee was affected , shall returne unto her selfe : and seeing her selfe all alone and naked , as one afflicted and affrighted with exceeding horror , shall through despaire faile in her selfe , and fall under her selfe : O whither wilt thou fly in hope of succour , to comfort thy poore soule in a time of such danger ? Even to thee will I fly O God of my salvation , for thou wilt not suffer my soule to descend to corruption . Nay , such is thy loving kindnesse , as thou wilt make my bed in my sicknesse . And because nothing is more certaine then death ; nothing more uncertaine then the houre of Death ; prepare mee continually against the houre of Death And that Death may appeare lesse fearefull unto mee , send thy Holy Spirit to comfort me ; that being inwardly armed by thee against the assaults of Death , and fury of my Ghostly Enemy , I may fight a good fight , and cry , O Death where is thy sting ! O Hell where is thy victory ! CHAP. 67. Iudgement . VVOe is mee , I tremble to thinke of it , and yet I cannot thinke how to avoid it ! Iudged I must bee , and who will speake for me ? A fearfull witnesse I have within me , to accuse me : sinnes of omission , sinnes of Commission to impeach me , sinnes of ignorance , sinnes of knowledge , sinnes of malice to convict mee , though , one were sufficient to condemne mee . But thou wilt aske mee , of what art thou to bee brought to account ? for what art thou to be brought to Iudgement ? Even for all thy thoughts , words and workes . For God will bring every worke into Iudgement , with every secret thing , whether it be good , or whether it be evill . And that it may appeare that thou shalt be accountable for all these ; first , touching thy thoughts : Of these thou shalt be judged ; for froward thoughts separate from God. And hee shall judge the secrets of men . With their conscience also bearing witnesse , and their thoughts ! the meane while accusing , or else excusing one another . Secondly , thou shalt give account of all thy words . Of every idle word that men shall speake , they shall give account in the day of Iudgement . Thirdly , thou shalt be accountable for all thy workes . For we must all appeare before the Iudgement seat of Christ , that every one may receive the things done in his body , according to that he hath done , whether it be good or bad . O my poore afflicted Soule , canst thou heare these things , and not melt thy selfe into teares ? seeing , that not onely in the bed of thy sicknesse , by a secret divine power all those workes which thou hast done ; be they good or evill , shall appeare before thee , and be presented to thee ; but in that fearefull day of Account , when all flesh shall come to Iudgement : all these in Capitall Letters shall appeare written before thee . Not one privie bosome sinne , were it never so closely committed , or subtilly covered , or cunningly carried , but must bee there discovered . Adam shall bee brought from his bushes , and Sarah from behind the doore , and man , miserably perplexed man , shall say to his conscience , as Ahab said to Elias , Hast thou found me , O mine Enemy ! O what numberlesse numbers of Bils of Inditement shall bee then and there preferred against thee ? And of all these to be found guilty ; O how art thou falne into the gall of bitternesse , and all misery ! For what can the thoughts and Imaginations of thine heart say for themselves , but that they have beene evill continually ? what can the words of thy mouth say for themselves , but that they have beene full of all filthinesse and scurrility ? Lastly , what can the workes of thine hands say for themselves , but that they have beene loaden with transgressions and iniquity ? But perchance , thou hast some hope of a pardon , and so like some of our deluded Delinquents here on earth , by flattering thy selfe with a vaine hope of life , estrangest thy thoughts from thinking of a better life . But doe not so deceive thy selfe ; for if it be not by faithfull repentance sought for here , there is no hope for any pardon there to bee procured ; nor for any Appeale to be there admitted ; nor for one minutes Repreve to bee there granted ; nor for that heavy sentence of Death to be one moment adjourned . That sentence of eternall Death . Depart from me ; this shall bee the sentence : To lose whose countenance , and to Depart from his presence is to bring thy soule into endlesse torments , eternall anguish . O my God , thou who hast appointed a time for every man to dye , and after that to come to judgement ; make me to remember mine end ; that fitting my selfe for it , I may cheerefully encounter it , and so prepare my selfe for that judgement which shall come after it . O make me walke in thy light , now while I have light to walke in ; and to worke out my salvation now while I have time to worke in . For time will come , unlesse wee walke here as Children of light ) when we shall have neither light to walke in , nor time to worke in . O inflame mine heart with thy love : and teach me thy judgements , and my soule shall live . CHAP. 68. Hell. HEare how the damned say ; while they were here on earth they lived better then thou , and yet they are damned ! And so they taxe Gods mercy and indulgence towards thee of injustice and partiality . Such is those damned soules charity . Meane time , thou livest securely , feedest deliciously , and puttest the thought of the evill day from thee by walking foolishly in the ways of vanity . Little desire then maist thou have , O thou sinfull Pilgrim , to see death ; having so little hope of life after Death . O , had some of those damned ones , who are now lost for ever , received those many sweet visits , motions and free offers of his grace ; those opportunities of doing good ; those many meanes of eschuing evill ; no doubt but they would have beene as ready to entertaine them , as thou hast been to reject them . O thinke with thy selfe , how happy had that rich Glutton beene , if hee had rewarded poore Lazarus with some few crummes from his Table ! O had it not beene farre better for him , to have given to the poore all that ever hee had ; to have stripped himselfe to his shirt : and to have made exchange of his purple raiments with rags of poverty , then to fry in hel-fire eternally ? O how happy had that rich man in the Gospel bin , if in stead of inlarging his Barns , he had inlarged his Bowels to the poore ! Little knew hee how soone his soul should be taken from him ; when hee addressed his care for so needlesse a provision . His thoughts were so taken up with inlarging his Barnes ; as hee never thought , How Tophet was ordained of old ; how it was made deepe and large ; the pile thereof fire and much wood , and how the breath of the Lord like a streame of brimstone , doth kindle it . Tophet was large enough , though his Barnes were not . But turne unto thy selfe ; for whom canst thou find in more danger of falling into that place of horror , then thy selfe ? How hast thou bestowed thy time ? how hast thou employed thy Talent ? O hast thou not put it up in a napkin ; or done worse by employing it to some worser end ? have not many bin damned for lesse then thou hast committed : and did it repent thee of what thou hadst done , that so thou mightst not bee condemned ? O no ; many a wretched soule lyes there tormented for lesse offences then ever thou acted ; and hast thou yet turned to the Lord , that thou maist bee pardoned ? It is written , in what houre soever the Righteous committeth iniquity , his righteousnesse shall not bee had in remembrance . Now , if the righteousnesse of him shall bee forgotten by committing iniquity , who leaveth what he once loved , relinquisheth what hee once professed ; what may we thinke of the repentance of that sinner , who returnes againe to that whereof hee repented ? O how many have ascended even up to heaven , and amongst the starres have built their nests : and yet have suddenly falne from that glory , by glorying in their own strength , and so drench'd themselves in endlesse misery ? And whence came all this , but because they ascended unto that Mountaine , to which the first Angel ascended , and as a Divell descended ? And canst thou excuse thy selfe of being one of these ? Hast thou not sometimes shewn to the world great arguments of piety ? Hast thou not beene sometimes like the Kings Daughters , all glorious without : but how soone becamest thou stript of this glory ? Thou fell from that seeming sanctity , or holy hypocrisie into open prophanenesse and impiety . Woe is mee , what shall become of me ! The wages of sinne is death ; a death that never dieth , but liveth eternally . Where nothing shall bee heard but weeping and wayling , groaning and howling , sorrowing and gnashing of teeth . O how grievous then shall bee mine anguish ! how endlesse my sorrow and sadnesse ! when I shall bee set apart from the society of the just ; deprived of the sight of God ; deliver'd up unto the power of the Devils , and to goe along with them into eternall fire : where I am to remaine without end in grieving and groaning ! when I shall be banished from that blessed Countrey of Paradise , to bee tormented in Hell perpetually : where I must never see so much as one small beameling of light , nor the least drop of refreshment : but be tormented in Hell for thousand-thousand years : and so tormented , as never to be thence delivered : wher neither the tormentors become wearied ; nor they dye who are tormented . O my deare Lord , looke upon the price of thine owne blood . Thou hast bought mee for a great price : O deliver thy Darling from the Dags : remember her in mercy whom thou hast bought , O let her not goe downe into the Pit : neither let the Depth swallow her up . For who shall praise thee in the Depth ? O my good God , though the terrors of Death , and torments of Hell encompasse me , yet art thou my Succour , and wilt deliver me : and my soule shall live to prayse thee . CHAP. 69. Heaven . O How should I looke up unto thee , that have so provoked thee ? O thou Mansion of the Saints ; thou portion of the just ; thou Citie of the great King ; thou heavenly and most happy kingdome ; where thy blessed Inhabitants are ever living & never dying ; wher thy glorious state is ever flourishing and never declining . I must confesse to my great griefe and shame , that I have no interest in thee . I have lost thee , unhappily lost thee , in losing my selfe , in losing my soule by selling it to vanity . I sometimes resolved to play the part of a wise Merchant , and to sell all I had for the purchase of one pearle . But I held the purchase too deare , and therefore have I deservingly lost it . Foolish Pilgrim , couldst thou find any thing more fitting to entertaine thy best thoughts , or bestow thy care , then the salvation of thy soule ? Didst thou thinke it so easie a taske to get Heaven , as to purchase it by making thine Heaven on earth ; yet hadst thou but taken halfe so much pains to get heaven , as thou hast done to get Hell : thou mightst have challeng'd more interest to Heaven , then now thou canst . Many summer days & long winter nights have thy follies taken thee up : and these seem'd short unto thee , because thou tookst delight in those pleasures of vanity : But to bestow one short houre upon devotion ; O how many distractions did that suffer ; and how long and tedious seem'd that houre , because that task was wearisome to thee , and thy mind was elsewhere wandring , and would not stay with thee : and canst thou now thinke that so rich a kingdom would keep it selfe for thee ; when thou wouldst neither knock that it might be opened to thee ; nor seeke that it might be found of thee ? Health , thou know'st well , commeth not from the clouds without seeking , nor wealth from the clods without digging . And yet Heaven must be got without knocking or seeking . But great prizes are not to bee so purchased . For as Heavens Gate is straite , and few there be that enter ; so are our tribulations to be many ; that we may be of that few that shall enter . But I heare thee now cry out , as one that had some sense of his sinne , and of the losse hee has incurred by sinne . Woe is mee ! I cannot looke upon this Earth , I tread on without blushing ; nor can I thinke upon Death without sorrowing ; nor the day Iudgement without trembling ; nor of Hell without shaking ; nor of the joyes of Heaven without astonishing . For Earth , I loved it so well , ( and well might I blush at my selfe for for bestowing my love so ill ) as the remembrance of Death became sorrowfull . For by it I understood how I was to be brought to Iudgement , of all others most fearefull ; and from thence as having nothing to answer in mine owne defence , I was to bee haled to Hell a place dismall and dolefull . And consequently to forfeit all my title and interest in Heaven , which could not chuse but astonish mee , being a place so joyfull . This I like well in thee : for this knowledge of thine infirmity , may bring thee to look for remedy : and by degrees to find recovery . Ioyne then with mee ; and offer up thy prayer to the Throne of grace , that He in his mercy would looke upon thee . Gracious God , though I bee altogether unworthy to lift up mine eyes unto heaven , or to offer up my prayers unto thee , much lesse to be heard by thee : yet for his merits and mercies sake , who sitteth at thy right hand , and maketh intercession for me , reserve a place in thine heavenly Kingdome for mee . Deare Lord , in thine House are many Mansions ; O bring me thither , that I may joyne my voyce with those voyces of the Angels , and sing prayses to thee , who sittest in the highest Heavens for ever . CHAP. 70. With the Remembrance of these , Hee becomes afflicted in Spirit . O But yet I find my soule like dry ground , where no water is ! wheresoever I turne mee , I find affliction and misery , on all sides encompassing mee . O what shall I doe ; where shall I fly to ? For behold , while I take my selfe aside from the world , into some with-drawing roome , purposely to forget the world , and prepare my selfe for the joyes of a better life : while , I say , I beginne to commune with my owne thoughts in the secret Chamber of mine heart ; I become so affrighted with the representment of those foure last Remembrances , as I wholly forget what I intended to speake : my tongue beginnes to cleave to the roofe of my mouth ; my spatle is dryed within mee ; those active faculties of my soule leave mee : and mine understanding departeth from mee . O Death , Death ! How bitter is the remembrance of thee ? O how mee thinkes , thou summons mee ; and like a surly Guest , breakest in upon mee ; nay , uninvited , resolvest to lodge with mee ! And presently I feele my selfe wounded ; and so mortally as not to be cured . O how my divine eye-sight now darkneth ; my painting breast beateth ; my hoarse throat rutleth ; how my teeth by little and little grow black , and draw to them a kind of rust ; how my countenance growes pale , and all my members stiffe ; how every sense and faculty failes : how my wasted body threatneth a speedy dissolution ! yet desires my poore soule to bee a Guest , still though there be cold comfort to bee found in such a forlorne Inne ! but what are all these terrors of Death to that fearefull day of Iudgement , when at the sound of the Trumpe all flesh shall rise ! where none may be exempted , but all judged ! O me ! Death is nothing unto this . For what comparison betwixt a Death temporall and eternall ? And such shall be the sentence of every Reprobate , amongst which I the chiefe . O how terrible will that great Iudge appeare to such as in this life would neither be allured by his promises , nor awakened with his judgements ? O how dolefully will that voyce sound in their eare . Depart from me , I know you not ! And how ready will that officious Iaylor bee upon the delivery of this heavie sentence , to hale them to utter darkenesse ; a place of endlesse torments : where the cursings and howlings of Fiends and Furies shall entertaine their melodious care ; ougly and hideous sights shall entertaine their lascivious eye ; loathsome stenches their delicious smell ; sulphur and brimstone their luscious taste ; graspings and embracings of snakes , their amorous touch ; Anguish and horror every sense ! where those miserable damned soules shall be tormented , both in their flesh and spirit . In their flesh by fire ever burning and never decaying : and in their spirit by the worme of Conscience ever gnawing and never dying ! where there shall bee griefe intolerable , feare horrible , filth incomparable ; death both of soule and body , without hope of pardon or mercy . And now to cloze with the last ; the losse whereof exceeds our sufferings in all the rest . O to consider how I , unhappy I , have not onely got Hell , the Lake of horror and misery : but lost Heaven , the place of endlesse joy and felicity : O what heart can consider it , and not resolve it selfe into a Sea of teares , in contemplation of it ? For what may the wretched soule thinke , when she lifteth up the beames of her mind , and beholdeth the glory of those immortall riches ; and withall considereth , how shee has lost all those for the poverty of this life ; O how can shee bee lesse then confounded with anguish ; how can shee doe lesse then rore forth in the affliction of her Spirit ? Againe , when shee shall cast her eyes below her , and take a full view of the vale of this world , and perceive how it was but as a mist , and presently looking above her , admires the beauty of that eternall light , shee presently concludeth , that it was nothing else but night and darkenesse which shee here loved . O how shee fainteth , faltereth and fruitlesly desireth , that shee might but have some small remainder of time allotted her ; what a sharpe course ; what a severe manner of conversation would shee take upon her ? what and how great promises would be made by her ? with what strict bonds of devotion would shee seemingly tye her ? But this must not bee granted her ; as shee had her full of pleasures here , so must shee now bee tormented for ever . O how my Spirit with the remembrance of these becomes afflicted ! O who will heale mee , for I am wounded . O my gracious and deare Lord out of thy boundlesse compassion , looke upon my grievous affliction . Keepe not silence at my teares , for I am a stranger with thee and a so journer as al my Fathers . I have none to fly unto but thee ; and so highly have I provoked thee ; that unlesse thou take pitty on mee , and receive mee for his blood , which was shed for mee , I am lost eternally . O my good Shepherd , call mee , thy lost sheepe , home ; for lost I am , unlesse thou call me : lost for ever , unlesse thou save mee . CHAP. 71. Faith appeares unto him with a cheerefull presence ; affording him comfort in his affliction . BEing thus afflicted inwardly and outwardly , Faith appeared to mee ; but alas , so much was I dejected , that although I might have beene moved to admiration with her goodly presence : and encouraged with her affable countenance : I stood still perplexed , being so farre from comfort as I scarcely expected it . Which Faith well perceiving , shee drew neare mee , and pulling mee to her , with a presence , no lesse gracefull then cheerfull ; thus encounter'd mee . How now Pilgrim , have you seene so many dayes , and those so full of misery ; and and can you find ought here where you have liv'd so long , and found so small comfort , that may deserve your teares ? Is the world , this empty Sponge , growne so neare to your heart ; as it has power to draw teares from your eyes ? Tell mee the ground of your griefe ! Doe you sorrow because Old-age comes upon you , and you can live no longer : or if you should live , you cannot enjoy that fulnesse of youthfull pleasure which you formerly tasted ? or are you unwilling to forgoe your possessions ; to take a long leave of your friends ; or to be stript of those goodly honours , which you here enjoyed ? No , I hope you are wiser then to become so foolish a Mourner . What is it then that has thus violently wrought upon your reason : and brought your disordered thoughts unto this distraction ? Surely , it must bee of some importance that has brought you into this disconsolate anguish . But this I perceive to be a distemper of your mind : and it shall bee our principall care ; upon discovery of your wound , to apply a speedy cure . Goe to then , disclose your griefe freely ; and believe her , who hates nothing more then breach of faith , that upon your imparting of it , you shall receive this friendly office from mee ; either to cure it or allay it . Herewith I became so encouraged , as I made a free discovery of the grounds of my affliction ; which shee tooke so well at mine hands , as presently causing me to sit by her , shee begunne to comfort me in this manner . You have done wel in this discovery of your grief . Wounds cannot be cured , before they be opened . Neither doe wee feare but by ministring some fitting prescriptions , our endevours wil bring forth that good effect , as you shall find great ease in your afflictions . You tell me , how the Remembrance of your end is very terrible to you : not so much in regard of your fear of Death : as of that fearfull day of Iudgement after Death . For you find in your selfe such an infinite and unsupportable weight of grievous sinnes pressing down-your soule even to the gates of Hell , as lesse then grieve you cannot ; else were you insensible of the losse of a soule . Trust mee , Pilgrime so farre am I from sorrowing with you , as I rejoyce in your sorrowing : For this sense of your sinnes brings you to seeke for cure : which had they not afflicted you , and and brought you even to the pit-brinke , had beene the least of your care . It is well then for you that you are afflicted : for else you might have gloried and fatned your selfe in your sinnes , and so eternally perished . Bee then of good comfort : and suffer not Cains desperate conclusion to have any possession in you : For I must tell you , hee sinned more in saying , Greater is my sinne then can be pardoned ; then in murdering his Brother : For as in the one , hee lay violent hand on the Image of God ; So in the other hee detracted from the highest and dearest prerogative belonging to God : for there is no attribute wherewith hee is more delighted , then to be styled a God of mercy . We may safely then conclude : That despaire is of a more high and hainous nature then any sin . For tell me , has not God himselfe with his owne mouth promised , and is he not both able and willing to performe what hee hath promised ? That , At what time soever a sinner doth repent him of his sin from the botome of his heart , hee will put away all his wickednesse out of his remembrance Though late repentance then bee seldom true , yet true repentance never commeth too late . The good Thiefe had no sooner repented him of his sin , and confessed Christ , then he was even at the last hour received to mercy : which example , as it admits no such liberty as to encourage any to presume , seeing there was but one : nor to throw downe any into despaire , seeing there was one . Indeed there is nothing that endangers mans salvation more then by giving way to delay : yet when the sorrowfull soule heartily repents him of what is past , and with a constant religious resolve intends to redeeme the time to come ; his pious teares , devout prayers , holy resolves will find ready admittance to the Throne of Grace . For as his mercy is above all his Workes , so will hee shew it most on that worke which stands in most need of his mercy . This I am sure your long experience not onely observed but plenteously tasted , for else have those yeares of your Pilgrimage beene ill bestowed ; that hee is gracious , merciful , and long suffering . Nay , that it has been evermore the property of this good and carefull Shepherd , to call home those that were wandring , invite those that were withstanding , expect those that were fore-slowing , & to embrace those that were returning . Nay , that it has bin ever the condition of this valiant Iosuah , to exhort you to fight , and so to helpe you that you might become Conqueror in that fight . In one word , it has beene ever his care to behold you when you were in the Battaile fighting , to encourage you when you were failing , and crowne you when you were vanquishing . Come then tell mee , are you wearied and so heavy laden , that you must faint by the way , if you bee not refreshed ? Behold , how hee has invited you to come unto him , where you may receive refreshment and comfort from him ! Bee not then wavering in the Faith , but take fast hold of his promises who will not faile you : and relye on his mercies , which in your greatest straits will deliver you . Bee faithful then unto the end , and he wil give your hearts desire . This Ladies exhortation afforded mee much comfort in this my affliction ; but much more when I knew who shee was : for I had heard much of her , though I was never till then well acquainted with her . For so soone as I heard her name , I began to be very confident , that whatsoever shee spake came from good ground . Nay , I understood how no action , were it never so good in its owne nature , could subsist or become really good without her . How she was the ground-worke of all vertues ; the pure Fountaine and firme foundation of all divine graces . How no fruits were they never so pleasant to the eye , nor savoury to the taste , but they were Sodoms apples , unlesse they received grouth and ripenesse from her . How every faithfull soule lived by her : how every one became justified by her : good reason then had I to rely on her , and to derive comfort from her . Having in this manner with her sweet instructions refreshed mee , promising mee with all , that even in mine Agonies of death she would be near me , if now in these few but evill dayes of my Pilgrimage , shee were not discarded by mee : which I vowed never to doe so long as there was breath in my body ; shee suddenly vanished from me ; which did not a little perplexe me : for never tooke poore afflicted soul more joy in any ones company . O my deare and benigne Iesu , how justly mightst thou have reproved mee , with — O thou of little faith ! O it is but a little one ; the least seed in the Garden ; O increase this my faith ! O pray to thy Father that my faith faile not ! So shall my heart bee purified by faith . So shall I become justified by faith . So shall I have accesse to thee by faith : and hereafter live with thee and thy faithfull ones in the inheritance of the just . CHAP. 72. Hope seconds that comfort . VVHo is hee that knoweth not how soone Faith begins to decline and grow out of request in the heart of a worldling ? This I found true by mine own experience : for albeit , that comfortable assurance of Faith might seeme to have removed from me all occasions of feare : and had so well strengthned mee , as those infirmities wherof I formerly laboured , were to the outward eye wholly cured in mee : yet remained there still some core at mine heart . I found it was not so well with mee as it should be . Me thought day and night that terrible voyce of Behold the man and his workes ! ever founded in mine eare . For I considered , how as God was mercifull , so hee was just . Neither did it stand with Gods Iustice , to pronounce any other sentence upon mee then as my sinnes deserv'd . What then could I expect , but to be throwne downe into that bottomlesse pit , where nothing but woe , woe in every place resounded : horror and confusion dwelled ? Thus fared it with mee , as with one newly recovered out of some dangerous sicknesse , and after his recovery , by reason of some distemper makes relapse into his former malady . But I found , how when mans helpe faileth , Gods beginneth : And that mans extremity was Gods opportunity . So gracious is the Lord to those that feare him : yea , to all such as with an humble and contrite heart returne unto him . For behold how light appeared out of darkenesse ! One day as I stood thus perplexed , weary of life , yet fearefull to dye , there appeared , mee thought , before me a woman of a beautifull and cheerfull countenance ; bearing an Anchor upon her shoulder : who drawing towards me , presently demanded of mee how it was with me ? But as one desirous to have none to share with mee in the burden of my affliction : nor to partake of any comfort , so strangely had my folly given way to temptation : as I turned uncivilly my face from her : but of so sweet and well-composed a spirit seemed this Lady , as all this nothing amated her : and the better to bring mee to a feeling of mine owne infirmity , addressed her discourse in this manner unto me . Goe to sir ! you must not have your owne will in this sort : A froward Patient requires a rough hand , and a resolute heart . But I will shew my selfe more courteous to you . I am not ignorant of of your disease ; and much relyes your malady on my cure . Doubt nothing of your recovery , so you will but ingenuously discover your infirmity . Neither am I altogether unacquainted with my sister Faiths late visit of you : whose sound cordiall comforts might have wrought such effect in you , as you should have lesse needed any other receipts , had you discreetly applyed what was so seasonably , and soveraignly ministred . But before I beginne with you ; let mee so farre prevaile with you , as to remove from your too much dejected and depressed spirit , all those unbeseeming thoughts which perplexe your quiet : Bee not such an enemy to your selfe , as to reject that , which may rectifie your state : And of sick ; may make you whole : and of a faint-hearted souldier , a couragious Warrier . And now to prepare you the better for this spirituall encounter : my first Assay must be , to remove those skales from your eyes , which by long continuance , are growne so thick , as they keepe you from knowing us . This said , shee infused a smal quantity of a precious kind of liquor into my dusky and drery eyes : which infused , those very skales , which formerly troubled my sight , became removed : so as , I perceived who it was that ministred unto mee : and by little and little became so strengthned , as I was confident of revovery . Having found mee in this sort a little cheered ; as one desirous to perfect what she had begun : to make mee more hopefull of her cure , shee acquainted mee with the quality of her power . How now , said shee , I cannot be perswaded but you must now of necessity know mee ? Though I have beene long time a stranger to you ; let us now renue our acquaintance ; believe it , it shall not repent you : for I never yet lodged in that Inne , which held mee not a welcome Guest . Many before this time had untimely perished , had they not by mee beene seasonably supported . By land and water have I offered my selfe a friendly companion : and firmly stuck I to them who relyed on me , in time of greatest danger or opposition . And when no semblance of delivery appeared : no hope of liberty approached : We with this Anchor brought them to the haven safely : planting them so securely , as no perill could interpose their security . And now tell me , is our strength so weakned , as wee cannot performe what wee formerly so happily effected : No , we are the same ; so wee find the same Spirit in those to whom we apply our cure ; which to accomplish shall be our principall care . Take then for an Helmet , the hope of salvation : Looke for the blessed hope . Let thy flesh rest in hope . Be yee of good courage — all yee that hope . For I must tell you , hope deferred maketh the heart sick : but the righteous hath hope in his death . For so well and surely is her foundation grounded , as hope maketh not ashamed . Rejoyce then in hope : be patient in tribulation . So shall the God of hope fill you with all joy . To which fulnesse I recommend you . This said , she retired , but my Hope became much strengthned . For having sometimes heard , how Hope that is seene , is not Hope : Though I did not see her , yet was I comforted by her : for her sweet and comfortable advice had so cheered me ; as with that patterne of patience , ( and that with great vehemence ) I cryed forth in this manner ; through the hope and assurance which I had in my deare Saviour : I know that my Redeemer liveth , and that with these eyes I shall see him . And now I begun to wonder at mine owne weaknesse ; how I could so much as have the least distrust or diffidence in Gods goodnesse : how I could suffer my spirit to be so uncomfortably drenched and drowned in the depth of misery : having so free accesse to the Throne of mercy . Againe , how in this surging Sea of affliction ; where every worldly wave threatneth ruine : I durst presume to play the Mariner , and saile without mine Anchor . Finding then so soveraigne a cure for my care : Such sweet solace to mine anguish : so present a repreve against death : so fit a receipt to my griefe , I thought good to returne to the Lord with my whole heart ; returning thanks unto him from whom commeth my helpe , and on whose gracious compassion have I grounded mine hope . My morning and evening Incense have I therefore resolved to offer : that in an acceptable time hee would be pleased to receive my prayer : teaching me how to suffer , and by suffering to conquer : and conquering , to render to the Lord of Hoasts all honour . O my mercifull Lord God , who bindest up the wounds of every contrite and truly penitent Sinner : suffering him not to bee tempted more then hee can beare : but of the abundance of thy compassion , givest him an issue out of his temptation : Make mee ever with a religious feare so to put my trust in thy mercy : as I may never be swallowed up of my misery . And seeing , wee are saved by hope : give unto mee such a saving hope ; as neither too much confidence may make me presume : nor the too perplexing consideration of my many sinnes bring mee to a despaire of pardon . Bee neare mee , deare Lord , in the houre of my visitation : let the enemy have no power over mee : but so shadow mee under the wings of thy mercy ; that the remembrance of thy judgements may rouse mee sleeping ; the memory of thy mercies raise mee waking ; to render praise unto thee , as my hope is in thee , my helpe from thee , O Lord everlasting . CHAP. 73. Charity promiseth him in this vaile of misery , to cover all his scarlet sinnes with the white roab of mercy ; and by keeping her company , conduct him safely to the kingdome of glory . BVt our daily experience confirms this to be so true , as nothing can bee truer : A Worldlings mind is apter to be transported with the light gailes of presumption : then to be over-poized with any weights of a contrary nature . Man becomes so apprehensive of the sweet promises of comfort , as hee not onely forgets his former unhappy condition , but even himselfe . So subject is hee to surfet of that , which was only given him to allay his discontent : and to retaine in him a thankfulnesse to him from whose bounty he received that benefit . This it seemes , charity feared much would befall mee : So as one day with a comely , affable and gracefull presence , me thought , shee appeared unto me : not so much to increase my comfort , as to prepare my mind rightly to use it . For she found me subject to no such dis-consolate humour , but refreshed with joy above measure ; which to attemper , shee begun to impart her mind unto mee after this manner . It joyes mee much , good Pilgrim , to see you thus brought from death to life . But it were well for you so to moderate these comforts which you have received : as not to lose your selfe , lest you might deprive your selfe of the benefit of this comfort . You may doe well then herein to imitate the Fly , which putteth not her feet into the great Masse of honey , but only taketh with her tongue so much thereof as serveth her turne and no more , lest by doing otherwise , she might remaine taken and drowned therein . Too much honey cloyeth : and too much of comfort drowneth . Moderate then these , as you tender your invvard peace . Time has beene vvhen the very least beameling of these comforts which now so plentuously reflect on you , would have infinitly refreshed you : for your spirit was wounded within you : present delights and future hopes had wholly estranged themselves from you . Stand then in feare , lest by abuse of these , some worser thing befall you . Many , by being unhappy have become happy : but very few have attained true happinesse , by being in this world ever happy . Now then , as my sister Faith has in these spirituall comforts grounded you : And my younger sister Hope has in these confirmed you : So shall it be my care , who am their poore contemptible sister , to prepare you for them , as they have prepared them for you : that such choyce receipts may be applyed to that end for which they were ministred : and your comforts such , as the issue of them may not be repented . After this discourse of hers , I desired much to know her name : for being , as shee professed , sister to those two Ladies , from whose advice I had received so great comfort : I wondred much at her Habit : for though her presence were comely , her countenance lovely , her behaviour sweetned with a well-beseeming modesty ; yet her apparell was but meane . Which she observing , with a quick delivery and composed gravity , shee thus answered mee . You must not gather by my Habit what I am . For I weare the worlds livery ; such as shee is pleased to bestow upon mee ; with no lesse content , then shee throwes it on me with contempt . For many yeares together have I beene the Rich-mans Almoner : yet never to this houre did I increase my store : for all the service I did him , I required no other wages of him , but to take his poore Hand-maids counsell , which was : To make himselfe happy with his owne . But alas , I found Simonides saying too true ! The vertuous did more frequent the doores of the rich , then then the rich of the vertuous . The poore were vertuous , and repaired to the doores of the rich : but the rich were vicious , and would not open their doores to the poore . I observed how vertue was accounted such a treasure , as 't was held more fitting to be out of the world then in it : whereas riches held that reputation amongst men : as men were held of no reputation without it . But you desire to know my name ; and you shall have it : but I pray you doe not imitate the fashion of this present world , by loving one worse when you hear it . Neither am I a fitting Consort for you , unlesse my two Sisters have wrought some good effect on you . For charity is cold ; and such Companions are not easily entertained : nor such Guests kindly received ; where the one bids us give that we may receive : the other bids us give all that we have : and when all that wee have is given , to expect our reward in heauen . But this sowing of bread upon the water , is of too hard digestion to a foolish worldling : and yet it must be sowne upon the water , or your harvest is lost for ever . Let mee then second , what my deare Sisters have proposed : as your discomforts were by them not onely allayed ; but with assurance in Gods promises confirmed : So heare what charity , the Worldlings out-cast , will doe unto you ; to make you perfect throughout for Him who will receive you . I have never yet beene known to bee more ready to promise then performe . Yet shall the promise which I make unto you , bee of infinite consequence : for it shall make you eternally happy in the performance . You are here planted in a vaile of misery , where I promise to cover all your scarlet sinnes with the white roabe of mercy . Nay , I will yet goe a little farther to conferre on your peacefull progresse the higher honour : If you will deagne to leave the world , and receive mee who am despised of the world : If you will , I say , leave her society , and bid adue to her blooms of vanity : by keeping mee company , I shall conduct you safely to the Kingdome of glory . Nor , let it be the least of your feare , that I promise above my power . For as my sisters imparted their love unto you , in cheering , comforting , and confirming you : So shall you find no lesse alacrity in mee , in perfecting what they have so happily begunne in you . For I must tell you , ( neither would I have you thinke that this proceedeth from any vaine glory , being that which could never challenge the least affinity with true charity ) that though my sisters may seeme to have priority in list and number , yet am I to challenge precedency in respect of dignity and order . This that vessell of Election confirmed when he said : Now abideth faith , hope , charity , these three , but the greatest of these is charity . Neither shall you need to receive any other description for the portraiture of my feature , or quality of my nature , then what that glorious Champion hath already returned to you . For tell mee , have you desire to bee informed in what most concerns you ; to bee edified in what most imports you ? It is not knowledge but charity that must worke this good effect in you . For , knowledge puffes up , but charity edifieth . Or would you bee perswasive in Oratory ; or powerfull in prophesy ; or an usefull Almner for your soules safety ? you must necessarily bee accompanied by Charity ; or you are but as sounding brasse , or a tinkling Cymbal . Your power to remove mountaines shall not remove in you the least Mole-hill of your sinne . Your bestowing all your goods to feed the poore , shall not make your soule rich : these cannot profit you , if charity doe not accompany you . Seeing then the tongues of men and angels are but tinklings and very sounds without charity ; knowledge becomes fruitlesse without the edifying helpe of charity ; prophesies , bee they never so mysterious ; Sciences , bee they in their owne nature never so commodious , are altogether unprofitable without charity : a Let all your things be done with charity . b Follow after charity , c Above all things put on charity . d Above all things have fervent charity : for charity shall cover the multitude of sinnes . e Adde to godlinesse , brotherly kindnesse ; and to brotherly kindnesse , charity . For , the end of the commandement is charity : And now , seeing I have here given you a full draught of charity : by a due examination of your selfe , you shal easily find whether she be in your heart or no : For by these divine effects you shall find her to be yours , and she possessed of yours f : charity suffreth long & is kind , envies not : charity vaunteth not it selfe , is not puffed up . You shal likewise know even by your outward behaviour , whether or no you have received charity , or given her harbour : for Charity g doth not behave it selfe unseemly , seeketh not her owne , is not easily provoked , thinketh no evill . You shall perceive likewise by the very joy of your heart , whether charity have taken up there her lodging . For shee h Rejoyceth not in iniquity , but rejoyceth in the truth . Lastly , you shall gather by your constancy , whether or no you hold correspōdency with perfect charity : For charity i never faileth . Well may I then conclude with that glorious Light of the Eastern Church , where charity is present , no good thing can be absent : wher charity is absent , no good thing can be present . Againe ; There is not any thing , be it never so little , but being done in charity , it is esteemed for great : And there is nothing bee it never so great , but being done without charity , it is accounted little : To cloze then all in one , seeing Charity is one in all : Wee see how all signe themselves with the signe of the Crosse , how all answer Amen , all sing Alleluia , all are baptised , all obey the commands of their Mother , the Church : yet are not the children of God discerned from the children of the Devill but by Charity . If then you desire to live , learne to love : you are now in your Iourney towards your Countrey , keepe me but company , and I shall safely conduct you to a City , where there raigneth perfect Charity . It is not to be exprest what infinite content I tooke in the sweet discourse of this divine Consort . For me thought I felt a fervorous heat or glowing within me . So as I desired nothing more then to reteine her still in my company . But having told me that shee had many places to goe to : and that in her absence I might find occasions in every place to remember her : for I could not possibly give the least entertainment to my afflicted Brother , but I might become her Remembrancer : which I should not feare to see plenteously rewarded hereafter : with a longing eye after her , I tooke my leave of her . Desiring no greater solace , then to bestow the small remainder of my time in her service : and resolving in all humble manner , ever from that time to become her faithfull Almner . Deare Father , thou who art perfect Charity ; purifie my heart throughout , that I may prepare a roome therein fitting to entertaine thee . Though Charity grow cold in the world , let my desires become so wained from this present world , that my Charity may witnesse for mee , that I am preparing for an other world . Give mee a liberall heart ; that freely communicating to the necessity of thy Saints , and constantly relying on thy promises , through a firme Faith and Hope reposed in thee , I may at last come unto thee ; and of a poore Pilgrim become an happy Citizen in thy Kingdome ; there to sing Alleluia amongst those glorious Saints for ever more . CHAP. 74. He takes comfort ; And now wearied with sojourning longer in Idumaea , he turns to Canaan . SO ineffably sweet were these comforts which I tasted ; and so plenteously flowing were those Fountaines from whence they were derived ; as I gathered thence , if there were such comforts in the day of mourning , what would there bee in the day of rejoycing ? If such spirituall delights presented themselves in a Prison ; what incomparable pleasures might be expected in a Pallace ? If such joyes in the dayes of our captivity , what may be looked for in that day of Iubilee ? In the consideration whereof ; never did chased Hart long more thirstily after the Water-brookes , then my poore wearied spirit did after her heavenly Bethesda , O how shrilly mee thought , did the cryes of the Saints under the Altar sound in mine eare ? O how long Lord ! How long ! O how long shall I sojourne in this Pilgrimage of cares ; this valley of teares ; and become estranged from that Inheritance of lasting joyes ; the only sight whereof shall make me happy ; and from this Wildernesse of sinne bring me to the Sinah of glory ? Woe is me , my Light , my Love , my Dove , my onely one , for that I have dwelled with the inhabitants of Cedar ! Woe is mee , my King and my God , that my habitation is prolonged ! For if holy David , David , a man according to Gods owne heart , sometimes said , how much more may I unhappy one say , My soule hath beene too long an inhabitant ? Long , and all too long have I sung , because I was unsensible of my sinne , my own countrey songs by those waters of Babylon . Well therefore may I say , It was good for mee that I have beene afflicted ; that I might learne thy statutes . O my Lord , hadst thou never afflicted mee ; I had never sought to know thee . Hence is it that I know thee , because thou hast afflicted mee . And now my soule melteth for heavinesse , not for that thou hast afflicted mee : but for that shee has beene so long divided from thee . I know Lord , I know , how hee who never mourned while hee was a Pilgrim , shall never rejoyce when hee comes to bee a Citizen . And as to abide for ever , if wee would we might not : so rejoyce here and hereafter , though we would , wee may not . It is a great argument that hee loves not his Countrey ; who without occasion foreslowes his returne into his Countrey ; or takes any delight in any place before he returne unto his Countrey . Alas , I must confesse , I have longed too much after the Onions and Garlicke , and Flesh-pots of Egypt : but now with gushing eyes doe I returne unto thee , O receive mee ! I have protested ( and O strengthen so religious a protest with thy Spirit ) never to take any more delight in Idumaea . I have suffered too much in it and by it , to be now any more taken or delighted with it . And now after my loathing of these puddles of vanity , I have longed after those ever-running streames of eternity . O how hath my soule thirsted after thee ; how greatly hath my flesh longed for thee ? my soule hath thirsted after thee , the living fountaine ; O when shall I come and appeare before the face of the Lord ? when wilt thou come , O my Comforter ? For whom else shall I expect ? O that I might see thee O my Ioy , which I desire ! O then shall my soule be satisfied , when my glory shall appeare , for which I so long hungred ! O then shall I bee made drunke with the fulnesse of thine house , after which I have sighed ! O then wilt thou refresh me with the Brooke of thy pleasure , after which I have thirsted ! In the meane time , let my teares become my bread day and night , untill such time , as it be said unto me ; behold thy God! untill my soule heare , behold thy Spouse ! Meane while , thou heavenly Shepherd , feed me with my sighes , refresh me with my sorrowes . My Redeemer will doubtlesly come , for hee is good : neither will hee fore-slow his comming , for hee is gracious : To him be glory for evermore . O hasten thy comming for thine Elect sake ! Come Lord Iesu , come quickly ! CHAP. 75. The poore penitent Pilgrims last Will and Testament . IN the name of the Father , the Sonne , and Holy Ghost . I S. M. A poore penitent Pilgrim , sound in body , and of perfect memory : yet being daily read in the Lecture of mans mortality : how all Flesh is Grasse , and the beauty thereof as the Flower of the field ; which this day flourisheth , to morrow withereth : and that it is every Christians duty to prepare himselfe before Death come , lest it find him unprovided at such time as it shall come . Moved , I say , with these considerations , I have here made this my last Will and Testament as followeth . First I bequeath my soule into the hands of my gracious Redeemer , by whose most precious blood I was redeemed : and by whose merits and mercies ( for my merits are his mercies ) I hope to bee glorified . And forasmuch as there was no safety out of the Arke ; nor no salvation now without the pale of the Church , figured by the Arke : and that the tares from the wheat must be severed : the Sheepe and the Goats must not into one Fold be gathered : HERE in the presence of God and his blessed Angels ; for the discharge of mine owne conscience , and the satisfaction of others , who , perchance , have in their opinions been divided , doubting much how I in points of Religion stood affected ; Doe I make a free and publike confession of my Faith : being that Cement by which we are knit unto her , and made Members of her . I beleeve the holy Catholike Church , to be the Communion of the Faithfull , whereof I desire to live and dye a Member : for which to suffer I should account it an honour : holding this for a Principle ever ; That none can have God for his father , that will not take his Holy Spouse the Church for his Mother . There is no Article in the Apostles Creed which I do not beleeve for Catholike and Orthodoxall , with the exposition thereof , and every Clause or Particle thereof in such manner , as it hath beene universally received by the holy Catholike Church , from the first four hundred years after Christ : and as it holds in consent or harmony with the Holy Scripture , the Christians Armour ; by which and the constant practise of piety , every faithfull Souldier of Christ Iesus may be enabled to pull downe those strong Holds of his spirituall enemy : and by possessing his soule in patience , obtaine a glorious victory . And as there have been at all times tares in Gods field ; so is it more to be pittied then doubted , that there are many surreptitious errours crept into the bosome of the Church through the corruption of time , and our enemies malice : which though they ayme not at the Corner-stone , nor at the maine foundation , yet being but stubble , & no wayes conducing to so glorious a building , they are to bee accounted of that quality , as they blemish much her primitive beauty . These then being the fancies of humane braines , and introduced into the Church for private ends ; and so continued rather by an imperious then just command , I hold them so farre from being effectuall to salvation , as they become scandalous to many tender consciences , and consequently deserve rather to be rejected then imbraced . But for the Ornamenss of the Church , as shee is the Kings Daughter , so she should be comely : and for her musicke or melody ; being his Spouse , it admits harmony : for so drowsie is mans zeale and affection , as hee stands in great need of something to stirre up his devotion . Likewise of those ancient and decent Ceremonies of the Church , being discreetly , and not superstitiously used , I have ever reverently esteemed . Neither am I ignorant how disputation in arguments of controversall learning hath beene of late yeares in more request then care of blamelesse conversation and living ; how indiscreet and impertinent reasoning has in many places brought that wofull effect , as it hath begot many irreparable rents in Christs seamelesse Coat : thus wounds left to the handling of unexpert hands became so farre from curing , as they grew more dangerously spreading , and desperately increasing then they were in the beginning , and before they came to handling . These Deficience are with pious teares and devout prayers to be repaired , that men of learning may bee likewise men of living ; being endowed with that zeale , as in all their arguments by way of private discourse or more publike opposition , their sole ayme and desire may bee to propagate the Gospel , and in it the glory of God , with all singlenesse of mind , and that without singularity of judgement ; being so free from all manner of ostentation , or the spirit of contradiction , as they may shun nothing more then popular applause , nor hold any thing more deare then the Churches peace . So as , to compose this breach , I never held those in points of Religion to be fitting Disputants , who made it their onely ayme in a scholasticall manner to weave up their Arguments : but such moderate spirits , whose desires were rather to cleare mens consciences from inbred scruples , then broach new differences . With all due reverence I esteeme of those two Sacraments ; Baptisme and the Supper of the Lord , as those two nursing brests of the Church : the one to clense and purifie us at our entring : the other to strengthen and sanctifie us living : and to glorifie our soules at their departing . As with mine heart I beleeve unto righteousnesse , so with my Mouth doe I confesse unto salvation . Neither , doe I professe my selfe such a Soli-fidian , as to hold Faith sufficient to salvation without Workes . Neither such a Champion for good workes , as to hold works effectuall without Faith. As Faith is the root , so are works the fruit . Nay , I hold these to have such necessary dependence one of th' other , as they are ever to go hand in hand together : Otherwise that fearefull curse which our blessed Saviour sometimes pronounced upon the barraine Fig-tree , must be their censure . And now in this day of my Change , as in this confidence I have ever lived , so my trust is that in the same I shall dye : That in the Resurrection of my Saviour Christ Iesus is my hope : and in his Ascension is my glory . For , I beleeve that my Redeemer liveth , and that with these eyes I shall see him . Thus have I rendred an account of my faith ; the substance whereof as I have ever professed in my life : so I hope with all Christian constancy to continue the profession thereof even unto death . So as , though the assaults or temptations of the Devill , my spirituall enemy , whose practise hath beene ever by cruelty or subtilty to deprive man of his hope of glory , should with all fury assaile me , yet shall they never have power to prevaile against mee ; for the Lord , who is my defence , will in mercy draw neare mee , and in that dying conflict give mee the victory . This then shall be my clozing Resolve , I meane to continue in the profession of that Faith , now when I am old ; wherin being a child I was borne . And having thus returned a due account of my Beliefe ; I hold it very fitting not to neglect that laudable use of disposing that estate whereof God in his goodnesse and providence towards me , made mee here his Steward . It were good then for mee , that I remembred that message returned by Isaiah the sonne of Amos to Hezekiah : Set thine house in order , for thou shalt die , and not live . True it is , when the outward house is orderly disposed , the inward house cannot chuse but bee better prepared . To remove then from mee the cares of this present world , that I may take a more willing adeiu of the world before I leave it , and so addresse my cares for a better world by waining my desires from it : for live hee cannot in the Land of the living , who prepares not himselfe for it before his arriving : my mind and will is , that my worldly substance bee disposed of in manner and forme following . First , then after this vessell of Earth , this poore shell of corruption shall bee to earth committed , and as neare to the bones of mine Ancestors as the conveniencie of the place may permit , interred : and that my Funerall expences shall be discharged ; in the performance of which Christian duty I approve of decency , but in no case too much solemnity ; ( which has too often drowned the remembrance of mortality in the lees of sensuality ) after this , I say , my Will is , that this small estate wherewith God hath blessed mee , shall be divided in equall parts or portions amongst my Children : that , as they are all equally mine , so they may bee equall sharers in mine : Of whom I will not prophesie that they will dissipate or scatter all I leave them : I have better hopes treasured in them . For the portions I leave them , though small yet competent , if they be contented : and more then I could wish them , if otherwise affected . A very little will suffice nature ; enough I leave them , if well employed : too much if abused . May Gods blessing and mine be ever with them in their improvement of it . And that I may crowne their hopes , and my houres with one blessing more : Blessed Spirit , by which every Passenger is safely conducted from this vale of misery , to the Kingdome of glory , as these little ones are mine by generation , so may they be thine by regeneration , to whose gracious protection both now and ever I commit them . Now I nominate and appoint for Surpervisors of this my last Will and Testament , my deare friends , Agapetus & Eilicrines , if they shall bee then living at my death : whom I heartily desire , for the loue they beare to goodnesse ; nay , for the love they bear to him , who is the fountaine of all goodnesse , and as I repose much trust in them ; to performe this my Will. And now mee thinkes , all my worldly cares are drawne neare unto their period . Seeing then I am sailing towards mine Harbour ; Let mee strike Anchor : that taking the wings of the Morning , I may fly to the bosome of my dear Redeemer . Go forth then my Soule , what fearest thou ? goe forth , why tremblest thou ? Thou hast had enough of Idumaea ; for what foundst thou there but anguish ? Now then turne thy face to the Wall , and thinke of the Land of Promise . Thou hast but now a little time left thee : the remainder whereof is justly exacted by him that made thee . Sighes , sobs , prayers , and teares are all the treasures that are left thee : and precious treasures shall these be to thee , if presented by faith to the Throne of mercy . The Enemy can never prevaile , where Christian feare and constant hope possesse the Soule . Let thy Desire then be planted , where thy treasure is placed ; and as one ravished with a spirituall fervour , cry out and spare not with that devout Father : Should my Mother pull her haire , teare her Clothes , lay forth those Brests which nursed mee , and in this sort hang about me ; should my Father lye in the way to stoppe me , my Wife and Children weepe about mee ; I would throw off my Mother , neglect my Father , contemne the lamentation of my Wife and Children , to meet my Saviour , Christ Iesus . And lesse then this , O my soule , thou canst not doe ; if thou callest to mind what thou leavest ; to whom thou goest ; and what thou hast in exchange for that thou loosest . For what leavest thou here , but a world of misery ? To whom goest thou , but to a God of mercy ? And what hast thou in exchange but immortal glory , for a vile , fraile , and corruptible body ? whatsoever thou hadst here , was got with paine , kept with feare , and lost with griefe : Whereas now thou art to possesse eternall riches without labouring ; and to enjoy them without feare of losing . My heart then is ready , my heart is ready ; too long have I so journed here , in making me a stranger to my heavenly Country . It is high time for mee then to discampe : and to leave these of Kedar : that I may rest without labouring ; rejoyce without sorrowing ; and live without dying in the Celestiall Thabor . Say then with that vessell of Election , and thinke as thou sayest : I desire to bee dissolved , and to be with Christ . Even so Lord IESUS , come quickly . ⁂ FINIS . His Obsequies . NOw , as yee have seen this poor penitent Pilgrim in Idumaea wandring , and with the Prodigall Child , happily returning , so Christian charity assures you that hee is now in Canaan arriving . Being , after so many tedious dayes and nights of misery , translated hence , by the irrevocable sentence of mortality . Let pious teares and prayers prevaile so farre with you , that as yee have taken a full view of the whole progresse of his life , so yee would performe a Christian Office in accompanying the solemn accomplishment of his Obsequies after death . Draw neare then unto his Sepulcher ; and in it consider how yee are made of the very selfe same Mould and Matter : and must , as he has done , pay your debt to nature . Doe not like that unfruitfull Spectator or formall Mourner , who comming amongst others to see his Friend buried , and beholding dead mens skuls and bones peece-meale scattered , with an easie sigh thence departed . But when hee should have gone home , to thinke of his last home , by meditating of that Memoriall of Death ; he betooke himselfe to the Taverne , to drench and drinke downe those melancholly thoughts in a deepe health . Oh thinke from whence yee came , and be ashamed ; Where yee are , and be prepared , whereto yee goe ( if unprepar'd ) and stand amazed ! from Earth was your beginning ; on Earth is your Pilgrim being ; but in Hell ( without repentance ) your perpetuall dwelling . Dye then to Earth before yee leave Earth , that leaving Earth , yee may live in heaven , the inheritance of the Iust upon Earth . His Grave-stone . HE whom here this Stone do's cover , Whilest hee lived was no other Then a Pilgrim and your Brother , But too long the Worlds Lover . Would yee know that course of his ? In an Abstract , it was this . Long in Idumaea living , Rich in favour , fortune , fame , Strong in power to shield the same , Never losing , ever thriving ; He esteem'd himselfe sole-blest In those treasures he possest . Mines and Magazins of gaine , Various objects of delight Sported with his appetite , Till those Guests he 'd entertaine , Made him to consider well Earth was but the Sinners Cell . Pride first rais'd him to a Cedar , Avarice made him hug his treasure , Envy pin'd him beyond measure , Wrath became his passion leader , Riot cramm'd him , Lust belull'd him , Sloath by seazing on him , dull'd him . Thus environ'd , reft of rest , Solace , Soule-society , Till Faith , Hope , and Charity Re-possest him of a Guest , Which those Guests he pamper'd so , Had before estranged him to . Seas thus calm'd , & stormes appeas'd , To discover his content , He makes his Will , and Testament , Which if ( Christians ) yee be pleas'd To partake , come with full eyes To solemnize his Obsequies . ERRATA . No place but is of Errors rife , In labours , Lectures , Leafes , Lines , life . PAg. 22. line . 11. for there , read her . p. 34. l. 20. f. lives , r. houres p. 72 l. 9. for Dames , r. Damns . p. 112. l. ult . r. one to dictate to thee what thou hast , &c. p. 153. l. 21. f. Nay , r. May. p 166. l. 22. f. Couch , r. Touch. Ibid. in marg . f. Humb r. Lumb . p 205 l. 13. f. wailes , r. vailes . p. 213. l. 9. f. meditation . r. mediation . p. 269. l. 16. for Calidore , r. Calidon . p. 340. for them , r. him . p. 355. l. ● f. when , r. where pag. ib. l. 18. f. Dags , r. Dogs . p. 356. l. 14. for everting in some copies , r. everlasting p. 363 l. 1. f. painting , r. panting . p. 379 mis-folio'd . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A77267-e620 * Cuncta quae suntadducet Dom. in judicium . Eccles . 12. Reddituri sumus rationem de cogitationibus nostris Sap 1. De omnibus verbis . Mat. 12. De operibus nostris . 2 Cor. 5. * Signant se omnes signe crucis , respondent omnes Amen , cantant omnes Alleloia , baptizantur omnes , ecclesiarum pietates implent ; non discernunturfilii Dei a filijs Diaboli nisi in charitate . Vid. Aug. Notes for div A77267-e2340 Eccles . 12.3 . Ecclus 10.8 . Notes for div A77267-e2770 Psal . 120.5 . Isa . 30.33 . Exod. 15.23 . Prov. 23.29.30 . Bern. Med. cap. 15. Ib. cap. 3. Bern. Med. cap. 2. We are before all others , to bestow Holy dayes in pious works and religious wayes . Aug. Sup. Psal . ●2 . Ciril . Basil . Homil. 8. & 9. Aug. Med. 39. Bern. Med. 11. Aug. in Confess . Malac , 3.8 . 9 Prov. 20.25 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . Bern. Med. 17. ●ern . Med. 5. Mat. 25. Humb. Sup. reg . B. Aug. Aug. Med. 25. Bern. Med. 14. Bern. Med. 11. Athan. Bern : Med. 8. Iam. 5. Gen. 7. Bern. Med. 11. Ib. c. 8. Iohn 13.23 . Aug. in Serm. de Ascens . Act. 2.3 . Aug. Aug. Bern. Med. 2. Eccles . 12.12 . Sap. 1. Rom. 2. Ib. 5.15 . Mat. 12. 2 Cor. 5. Esay 30.33 . Ezek. 42 , Aug. Soliloq . c. 29. Bern. Med Dam. de Hora mort . Bern. Med. 3. Psal . 39.12 . Ezek. 18. Ezek. 18. 1 Iam. 3. Hab. 2.4 . Rom. 3.28 Mat. 14.31 . Luke 17.6 . v. 5. Luke 22.32 . Act. 5.9 . Rom. 3.28 . c 5.2 . 1 Thes . 5.8 Tit. 2.13 . Psal . 16.9.31.24 . Prov , 13.12.14.32 . Rom. 5.5 . Rom. 12.12.15.13.8.24 . Rom. 8.24 . 1 Cor. 53.13 . 1 Cor. 8.1 . v. 1. a 1 Cor. 16 14. b 14.1 . c Col. 3.14 d 1 Pet. 4.8 . e 2 Pet. 1.7 f 1 Cor. 13.4 . g v. 5. h v. 6. i v. 8. Aug. Ib. Vide Aug. Psal . 119.71 . v 28. With shreeks I entered , and in toyle I lived , With griefs gripes , groanes , am I of life deprived . Hier. ad Pammach . et Ocean de error . Orig. 2 Reg. 20.1 Hieron . Hieron . Notes for div A77267-e32240 Sitiens Sepulchrum repetit , ossa Sepultorum respicit , suspirans Sepultum deserit ; quando autem in domum , fragilitat is humanae Speculum meditando , tenderet , in tabernam descenderet , ubi totam noctem , calicibus indulgendo , expen deret . Chrysol .