Towser the Second, a bull-dog, or, A short reply to Absalon and Achitophel Care, Henry, 1646-1688. 1681 Approx. 7 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 2 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A33965 Wing C532 ESTC R11698 12331619 ocm 12331619 59694 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A33965) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 59694) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 206:11) Towser the Second, a bull-dog, or, A short reply to Absalon and Achitophel Care, Henry, 1646-1688. Dryden, John, 1631-1700. Absalom and Achitophel. 1 sheet ([2] p.) Printed for T.J., London : 1681. Attributed to H. Care. Cf. Wing. First ed. Cf. NUC pre-1956. Reproduction of original in Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Broadsides -- England -- 17th century. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-10 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TOWSER THE SECOND A BULL-DOG . Or a short Reply to ABSALON and ACHITOPHEL . IN pious times when Poets were well bang'd For sawcy Satyr and for Sham-Plots hang'd , A Learned Bard , that long commanded had The trembling Stage in Chief , at last run mad , And Swore and tore and ranted at no rate . Apollo and his Muses in debate What to do with him , one cry'd , let him Blood , That says , another will do little good ; His Brains infected sure , under his Nose We 'le burn some Feathers of Peru , who knows But that may bring him to himself again ? Ay , for some time says Clyo ; she was more For Opiates , others for Hellebore . Apollo having heard all they could say , Rose up and thankt them said , he 'de try a way He hop'd would do , then call'd a Noble Friend Well verst in Men , and beg'd of him to spend Some time and pains upon this wretch , which he , Agreeing to , went presently to work , Open'd his head , saw where the Maggots lurk ; Took many of them out , put them in Sut , Then Added Mercury and Nitre to 't , Mixt and infus'd them well , and after all , Distil'd them in a Limbeck Comical , And drew a Spirit very Soveraign , For those are troubled with the fitts o' th Brain , And gave our Poet some , all he could make The peevish , Squeamish , self-wil'd Coxcomb take . It did him good and cur'd him of those Fitts : But 't was too little to restore his Wits : For since he has gin ' ore to Plague the Stage With the effects of his Poetick rage , Like a mad Dog he runs about the Streets , Snarling and Biting every one he meets . The other day he met our Royal CHARLES , And his two Mistresses , and at them Snarles . Then falls upon the Ministers of State Treats them all A-la mode de Billingsgate : But most of all , the glory of our gown , He must be bark't at , Drivil'd , pist upon . He whose soft tongue had charmes enough t' asswage The Tygers fierceness , could not scape the rage Of this same whifling Cur ; poor Cerberous , That taught the Rogue to bark , was serv'd just thus . This Vipers brood , contrary to all Laws , The torn out Entrails of his Parent knaws . He gives no quarter , spairs no friend , nor foe , And where he once gets hold , never lets go Until he breaks a tooth , which he hath done So oft of late , that he hath few or none Left in his mouth . Nay which is worst of all On his Physician he does always fall , And find him out where e're he is and bawl Eternally , taking in Evil part What he good man did by the rules of art , And for his good , assisted by a Set Of the most able Leeches he could get ; Apollo vext to see there was no more Effect of Medicine , bid his friend give o're , And sent some Chirurgions to him to anoint The Carcase of the whelp in every Joynt With Oyl of Crab-tree , than which nothing fetches The itching Venome out of Scribling Wretches Better or sooner , but I know not how It came to pass , with him it would not do . For since his being anointed , he is run Yelping with Towser up and down the Town , And crying out against an Absalon And an Achitophel . The Currs had got Between them in their Mouthes a new Sham-Plot , The Twentieth of the Kings , some say indeed It is the same that Mother Celier hid , Deep in the Meal-tub , only new lick't o're And brought to better shape by half a score Of Irish Mongrels , newly fetcht from thence , The best in England at an Evidence . A little bribe will make them sware devoutly , They 're much more famous for their swearing stoutly , Then for their fighting so , this kind of Cattel Are better far at Roguery than Battel . An Irish man's Antiwood-cock , cares To venture nothing , but his head Ears . This Copper coyn will never with us pass , It looks so scurvily , nay it smells of Brass ; How could you think this would be currant here , That is not so at home ? 'T is cry'd down there : What then shall we do now ; faith you had best Try Scotland next , now it hath past the Test Come hither my Dog Towser , come , for I A new Experiment intend to try , I 'le have thee worm'd , hold out thy Venom'd Tongue , What a huge Worm is here ? 'T is an inch Long , And of the Jebusite smells very strong If this won't do thou shalt be fairly hung . FINIS . LONDON , Printed for T. I. 1681.