Mans felicity and misery which is, a good wife and a bad: or the best and the worst, discoursed in a dialogue betweene Edmund and Dauid. To the tune of I haue for all good wives a song. M. P. (Martin Parker), d. 1656? 1635 Approx. 8 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 1 1-bit group-IV TIFF page image. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2007-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A08969 STC 19253.3 ESTC S103582 99839333 99839333 3742 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A08969) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 3742) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1607:19) Mans felicity and misery which is, a good wife and a bad: or the best and the worst, discoursed in a dialogue betweene Edmund and Dauid. To the tune of I haue for all good wives a song. M. P. (Martin Parker), d. 1656? 1 sheet ([1] p.) : ill. For Francis Grove, Printed at London : [ca. 1635] Signed: M. P., i.e. Martin Parker. Publication date from STC. Verse - "Kind couzen Dauid prithée stay,". In two parts; woodcut illustrations at head of each part. Another edition of STC 19253, published in 1632. Identified as STC 19253 on UMI microfilm set "Early English books, 1641-1700", reel 2123. Reproductions of the original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Ballads, English -- 17th century. 2006-01 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2006-03 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2006-05 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2006-05 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2006-09 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Mans Felicity and Misery : Which is , a good Wife and a bad : or the best and the worst , discoursed in a Dialogue betweene Edmund and Dauid . To the tune of I haue for all good wiues a song . Edmund . KInd Couzen Dauid prethée stay . Good newes to thée I will bewray , Since last I saw thée I am married , Now things with me are better carryed , I dare say that which few men can , I haue the best Wife that euer had man. Dauid . I am right ioyfull Couzen Ned , To heare that thou so well art sped : As thou mayst thy good fortune blesse , I may curse my vnhappinesse ; My torments none on earth can scan , I haue the worst Wife that euer had man. Edmund . My wife for beautie beares the name . From all i' th towne from whence she came , For shape she might a Lady be , And so all say that doe her sée : Her middle I can easily span , O shee 's the best Wife that euer had man. Dauid . My wife so l●thsome is to view , She euery morning makes me spew , For person shée 's scarce good enough To try , maids ha' ye auy Kitchin-stuffe : She 〈…〉 Dripping pan , O she 's the worst Wife that euer had man. Edmund . My wife is affable and méeke , To please my fancy she doth seeke . My humour she will neuer th'wart , But d●t my will with all her heart , We vse no words but Ned and Nan , She is the best Wife that euer had man. Dauid . My wise is obstinate and froward , Shée 's sullen , péeuish , and vntoward ; Shée 's glad at heart when she can finde , Occasion to molest my minde : Shée 'l I haue her will doe what I can , O she 's the worst Wife that euer had man. Edmund . My wife is carefull of her charge , She neuer romes abroad at large , Her businesse she will ne're neglect , But brings all things to good effect : Shée 's to her Babes a Pelican , O shee 's the best Wife that euer had man. Dauid . My wife among her Gossips doth gad , As though nothing to doe she had , The children goe vndrest all day , Unlesse I put on their array : I ●ot faint to make what shift I can , For she 's the worst wife that euer had man. Edmund . My wife's 〈◊〉 constan chastity , Like Lucrece or Penelope : She is so wary in her carriage , That if a kisse would wrong her marriage , No one should get that fauour than , For shee 's the best Wife that euer had man. Dauid . My wife is full of merry tricks , She hath béene naught with fiue or sixe , If she can get me out o' th doore , Ere I returne shee le play the whore , Shée 'l say though I can't others can , O shee 's the worst Wife that euer had man. The second part , To the same tune . Edmund . My wife so cleanely is and neate , She adds a goodnesse to my meate , I eate when I no stomacke haue , Because 't is done as I doe craue , In sicknesse she is my Physician , For she 's the best Wife that euer had man. Dauid . My wife is such a beastly Slut , Unlesse it be an Egge or a Nut , I in the house dare nothing eat , For feare there 's poyson in the meate , The Dogs doe licke both Dish and Pan , O she 's the worst Wife , &c. Edmund . My wife will weare no yellow hose , No wench can make her swell ith'nose , She knowes that I to her am iust , And in my faith she puts her trust ; Shée le not be vext say what I can , For she 's the best , &c. Dauid . If I vpon a woman looke , My wife will sweare vpon a booke , That she is certainely a Whore , Though I ne're saw the Woman before , Shee le claw her eyes out if she can , O she 's the worst , &c. Edmund . My wife will neuer follow me , Goe where I will , at home stayes she , Though I from morne till night doe rome , She smiling bids me welcome home . This makes me haste home to my Nan , For she 's the best , &c. Dauid . If I vnto the Ale-house goe , To drinke a Iugge of béere or so , Though ne're so fast I thither hye , My wife is there as soone as I : At me and my friends she 'le curse and ban , For she 's the worst , &c. Edmund . If any friends come home to me , My wife giues entertainment frée , But out o th' doores she will not stirre Unlesse I goe along with her , She scrapes and saues what ere she can , O she 's the best , &c. Dauid . My wife will at the Ale-house sit , And waste away both money and wit , Nay rather then shée le liquor lacks , Shée 'l sell the smocke from off her backe , Shée 'l steale from me all that she can , O she 's the worst Edmund . Kind Cousen Dauid I am very sorry , To heare thée tell so sad a story , Marriage and hanging now I see , Goe as they say by destiny I would thou couldst say as I can , I haue the best wife , &c. Dauid . I thanke you Cousen for your good will , Long may your blessing continue still , My crosse I must with patience beare , Till God or the Deuill end my care , And thus I end as I began , I haue the worst Wife that euer had man. Author . You wiues who haue heard this discourse Now shew who 's better and who 's worse . The best will freely buy this Song , The worst will shew she hath a tongue . The head 's soone broken that is scald , And Iades will kicke if they be gall'd . FINIS . M. P. Printed at London for Francis Groue .